#seems to be attached to a version of them that's *not* them'
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bluessmutifyplaylist · 3 days ago
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Listening to Oxytocin by Billie Eilish imagining a 'FWB who are secretly in love with each other but just too kinky and not emotionally honest enough to do anything about it' situation with Rook Hunt and Cater Diamond (separately).
Or like, making a thirty trap to the song on a TWST version of TikTok just for the cast to reply it over and over again until they rub their skin raw.
(once again I am UNGODLY HORNY LOL!!! So enjoy my sin bestie)
Not going to lie, this was the first time I ever listened to Oxytocin by Billie Eilish. Not my favorite, but not bad.
Warnings: 18+, Gender-neutral! Reader, no specific ‘hole’ is mentioned (could be anal, could be vaginal), FWB relationship wth Rook and Cater (separately), bondage (Cater), not much smut in Rook’s (sorry)
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Cater Diamond
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It all started when you were both assigned a project in Professor Crewel’s class. The tension was definitely there, and since you were both in the privacy of Ramshackle, and Grim was sleeping in a different room, you both gave into your desires.
Neither one of you realized just how much physical chemistry you had with each other before that night, and since then, you have used approximately 47 boxes of condoms and counting. It was great stress relief for both of you, and it was a no-strings-attached agreement… unfortunately, it became quite clear that there were at least a few strings there.
The thing is… neither of you knew how to bring it up. For some reason, you both thought that it might not be the best time to talk about deep feelings when he was balls-deep in your throat, gently thrusting into your mouth and moaning as he felt you gag on his cock.
He has ranted about it to Trey, much to the baker’s dismay. He did not want to know about what you both did in your own time. However, he had no idea how to tell you that he loved you. That he wanted you for more than just your body. That he wanted to cuddle after having sex with you rather than get dressed and do the messy walk of shame back to Heartslabyul.
One day, however, you both were trying something out in bed… bondage. His hands were tied to the headboard as you rode him into oblivion. His fucked out face was one that you had many pictures of… but you never posted them. They were just for you.
Anyway, he was babbling complete nonsense, his dick being gripped tightly by your warmth as you ground your hips down. “I love you…” He muttered softly in-between whimpers, “Seven, I fucking love you… fuck… keep going, baby…”
Your eyes widen, and you immediately stop your ministrations. “What did you say, Cater?” His own eyes widen in response as he realized what he said, and he felt his heart thud harshly against his chest. “Uhh… Nothing! I said nothing! Who said anything about ‘love’? That’s crazy talk! You know me: Cray-cray Cay-Cay!”
However, you quickly shut him up by kissing his lips passionately, breaking one of the few rules the both of you set. It didn’t seem like Cater had any issue with this rule-breaking either, especially since he reciprocated and moaned against your lips as you continued riding him.
“I love you, too,” You whispered against his lips, “Shit!... I love you, Cater…”
Soon, he spilled his load into the condom, and you pulled yourself off of him and collapsed beside him, when he got up to dispose of the rubber. Then, he giggled excitedly as he climbed into bed next to you.
For now, this would remain private between the two of you, as well as Trey because Cater needs to tell someone, but neither of you could be happier with how your relationship shifted.
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Rook Hunt
Your… relationship… with the French hunter started in Potionology. Your friends fucked up a potion and it spilled on you. With your luck, it turned out to be an aphrodisiac, and so Professor Crewel sent you back to Ramshackle to sleep it off.
Rook noticed that you weren’t running your usual errands, so he asked Ace, Deuce, and Grim for your whereabouts. When they explained to him what happened, his eyes widened in surprise and he immediately rushed to Ramshackle to help you out. Obviously, neither of you knew about the other’s feelings, but you were more than happy to have his help.
That day was when you realized that 1) he was wonderful in bed and 2) he had a stupidly large dick that hit everything it needed to. Let’s not even mention how good his hands are.
Anyway, even when the aphrodisiac wore off, you both still found reasons to find privacy together. You wanted to get dicked down, and Rook was more than happy to oblige as he loved you and your body. The other people on campus were more than happy about this arrangement too, since it meant that Rook didn’t have time to stalk them.
However, this friends-with-benefits relationship wasn’t like anything else. Rook, in every sense of the term, ‘made love’ to you. He was gentle and attentive, putting your pleasure above all else. He wanted to be your toy that would bring you pleasure. It made him feel good knowing that he made you feel good.
One day, after a rather intimate session together, you were both laying in your bed as you discussed things you would like to try with him. When you brought up a possible threesome in the future, he tensed up.
“Non, ma chérie. I do not much like the idea of sharing you with anyone else,” He admitted, looking into your eyes.
His words made your heart flutter, and the butterflies got worse as he leaned in to kiss you. However, you made no move to back away, and reciprocated it instead.
When you both pulled away, you both smiled happily at each other before settling back under the covers to get some rest.
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alltimefail · 2 days ago
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Why doesn't Edwin call Charles, "Charlie?"
I shared the isolated audio of Charles' death scene where his "friends" taunted him as they killed him, and in that video, they called him "Charlie." This confirmed what many people in fandom already believed: Charles, a sporty teenage boy in the 80s, would not have gone by his proper first name and likely went by a nickname/shortened version of his name instead.
Now that we know that to be true, it does beg the question: why does Edwin call him Charles? I told you all not to get me started on this in the tags, but you stinkers want me to yap, so let's get into it! 😜
This is a very uninteresting answer, but I think Edwin does not call Charles "Charlie" simply because Charles did not introduce himself as such. Had he introduced himself as Charlie, I don't think Edwin would call him anything else.
This actually brings us to the "meat" of this analysis, and the more important question we need to ask: why would Charles choose not to introduce himself as "Charlie" if that's what people seemed to call him?
I have a couple of theories:
The first one: when Charles meets Edwin he's in a fragile state. A boy he's never seen in all his time at school approaches him, seeming to come out of thin air, just to bring him a lantern without any strings attached (even though Charles cannot give him anything in return). Charles has never experienced that kind of unconditional kindness in his life, and I'm sure that alone was enough to be a bit earth-shaking, mind-scrambling, and intimidating.
But it doesn't end there! The boy who brings the lantern is also claiming to be dead. Delerium/hallucinations are a common symptom of hypothermia so Charles could have though that Edwin was not real or was maybe even some kind of angel-like figure coming to keep him company in his final moments. I mean, the boy's wearing a dated school uniform, enters in a halo glow of golden light, and can walk through walls...it's not the wildest conclusion to jump to.
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I think either of thos things individually or a combination of having your guard up, being a bit frazzled from the whole "dying" thing, and believing you're in the presence of an ethereal deity (combined with the fact that you're a people pleaser at your core) is enough to feel compelled to introduce yourself not in formal manner. Not to mention if Edwin introduced himself first, hand outstretched in a formal matter and proper posh accent on full display (something I can totally see him doing), Charles might have felt a bit silly calling himself by such a casual title.
While I think all of this can be varying degrees of true, however, my biggest personal headcanon is that Charles might not have introduced himself as Charlie because who's to say he LIKED that nickname? My circumstances were similar to Charles' growing up, I also had many nicknames from friends and family that I didn't ask for but was given anyway against my will... and I always hated it. Still cringe at some of them to this day, actually! So I think it's possible that Charlie Rowland met Edwin Payne, with all his formal stature and proper professional-sounding name, and took the opportunity to choose what he'd like to go by, without the influence of family or friends. In that way, his chosen identity that would kick off the rest of his existence moving forward (unknown to him at the moment, but true from a narrative standpoint nonetheless) serves as a "Taking your power back" moment for Charles who literally just heard the name "Charlie" being hurled at him as he begged for mercy from people who were supposed to be his friends. Even if he tolerated the nickname "Charlie" before, it certainly wouldn't have fond associations following the event that ended his life (if it had any positive associations to begin with).
Again, speaking from experience, Charlie also sounds like the kind of nickname that could be sugar-sweet on some tongues, innocent even, (his mother cooing over a young Charles), but terrifying from an abusive figure... a scathing kind of mockery. I've always imagined that Charles' dad more than likely called him Charlie, for example, and not in a fond, loving way (in the same way his so-called "friends" were not doing so in a loving way).
So yeah, why would Charles WANT to go by Charlie?
Now that we've established that, we can go back to Edwin...what you came here for!
All that in mind, I still don't see Edwin as the nickname type at all. From a romance standpoint I could maybe see him using a few dated, sappy endearments, but we don't ever hear him use a casual name toward anyone. In his lifetime Charlie would have been a perfectly normal name, but the kind of "fond" nicknaming practices and casual male friendships that happened in 1989 were not common practices in 1916, the Edwardian era. Even with his infinite fondness of Charles, I could never see Edwin uttering "Charlie." It doesn't feel right.
Plus, let's be honest: Edwin says Charles' name with enough love and reverence that he doesn't need to use an endearment. His tone says it all (lol).
Beyond that though, like I said above, I can't see Edwin feeling to impulse to call him "Charlie" because that's not how Charles introduced himself. Edwin strikes me as the kind of person that would be like, "If he wanted to be called Charlie, he surely would have said as much" and left it at that. But a name like Charlie also conveys a sort of youthfulness, and while he and Charles are 16 forever, technically, they have been detached from their lives for a long time and they're MUCH older than 16 in experience and in their professional life.
The only question I was left with, and one I've seen several people ponder, is why Charles would suggest they call The Night Nurse Charlie, (like from Charlie's Angels), as it seems a bit strange if his own name is Charlie/he went by Charlie. My answer/interpretation isn't that exciting, but it's one I feel makes the most sense: I honestly think this can easily be explained away by the fact that Charles is so far removed from that identity and so dissociated from his life that he no longer associates the name "Charlie" with himself in any way. Like it literally didn't even occur to him, in that moment, that Charlie/Charles are so similar because he has built a barrier in his mind between himself and that nickname; they're two entirely different identifiers to him. Whether that be a coping mechanism, or simply just something he wasn't thinking so deeply about (it has been 30 years since anyone called him that, except for Brad and Hunter in Port Townsend), we can't say for sure. However, it's clear Charles does not want to go by Charlie, and at least now we can safely assume why.
Let me know your thoughts! Do you agree with my interpretation? Do you have your own opinion that I didn't cover? Feel free to share with me!
Keep streaming Dead Boy Detectives & screaming about it ! Hugs to each and every one of you! 💜
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luminousdecay · 3 days ago
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Together forever - Illustration for a quick fiction I wrote about them
Read It on AO3
twitter / bluesky
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A new beginning
A few moments ago everything was noises and colors, you closed your eyes and you only felt the reassuring presence in front of you, connecting from your foreheads and your hands. And then in a bursting white light, everything vanished. The nothingness is what hits you first and for a brief moment you disappear.
//
White light is piercing through your eyelids, making you get back to consciousness. You raise your hand to protect yourself from this new luminosity. You felt the grass, slightly fresh and humid against your bareback, and the sound of silence in your ears. A muffle sound of someone awaking next to you and you open your eyes. You see the hand in front of you. At first it seems it is not yours or from a distant and faded memory. Pink white skin and some iridescent volutes here and there. You quickly get out of your contemplation as another sound comes from your left. Jayce is here grumbling. You rise slowly and get on your feet, no pain, no difficulty. Your body is like your hands, pale skin and organic iridescence shapes. You take a first hesitant step before assuring your pace. You feel well, better than you've ever been, no discomfort, and you can feel much more the warmth of the sun on your skin, and the soft wind easing it.
You come closer to your partner : “Jayce ?”. He suddenly opens his eyes, a slight panic on his face. As he sees you his gaze softens and he sights : “Viktor, is that, is that you ?” There is some desperation in his look and voice. You answer, looking at your newly re acquired skin : “Yes. I guess it is me or, well, another new version of me” you smile as you are thinking about how much your appearance evolved in those past months, a true scientific case ! But him, apart from the new beard, shaggy hair and the pearlescent “crown” your hand gave him, he remains the same self, the same reassuring and glowy presence. He stands up quickly testing his bad leg, confused, but satisfied he can put weight on it.
You don’t have time to ask if everything is alright, that he is on you, embracing you. -Ah, Jayce and his constant need to touch-. You feel his warmth, it is like your new skin finally remembers what touch truly feels, and you give his hug back savouring his presence and the sensation, and he squeezes harder. After a few quiet moments he breaks the contact and takes you by the shoulders to have a better look at yourself. You felt his gaze roam over your body and as he does he smiles with disbelief in his eyes and reddish tone on his cheeks. He says, for him, in a whisper “you are beautiful” and louder “you … we are alive, in one piece and … well ?” and then proceeds to hug you once more and you can feel the laugh in his chest and your smile widening.
Suddenly he steps away looking unsure. “Well, first you probably feel the need to be a bit more … cover up ?” It is right, you are bare skin except where your blanket is attached on your shoulder. You caress it, it feels reassuring, “ I do appreciate the new sensations, or more precisely the old ones” You look at him “but yes some decency could do no harm, would you help me tie it up ?”. As you begin to unfold the fabric to put it around yourself like you did all these months before he approaches and helps you out. His touch is less confident than before and he moves delicately his hands around you. “You know Jayce, I will not break if you touch me, my condition since a few moments ago didn’t change” you say with amusement in your voice. “I know it is just that … I am still processing, and you were basically dead a few days ago and then … everything”. You catch his eyes “And who’s fault ?” your tone is mocking. He looks a bit embarrassed “Touché, but it was on your order, or another and hairier version of yourself”. You smile “I don’t think I meant to kill myself, you know talking could have been a solution”. He answers, still amused “ hey, am I the man of the action or not ?”. You both laugh, it feels good.
Elegantly covered up you look around yourself “ It is so strange, it seems that I have been there before, I have the same feeling from when I was in the arcane” you are watching at the almost endless grassy and wavy field, you spot some forest afar “but as you can see it is far more consistent” you look at your bare feet firmly grounded in the grass. Jayce is also looking around himself with a slight worry in his brows. You step forward and after a brief moment of hesitation you touch him on the shoulder. He looks at you surprised as your hand slides along his arm and your hands are joining. “Let’s go explore the world” you said facing the wilderness, and you look at him in the eyes “I can’t wait to see and experience what the possibilities in front of me have to offer” and you proceed to walk. He doesn’t immediately follow, forcing you to turn back : “Viktor I will never abandon you again” and on that you answer “I know, and you never did”. A brief moment passes and he joins you at your side, eyes glistening and a smile on his face, your hands are still firmly bonded, he adds: “Then go and I will follow”. And you both walk into this new intimidating but beautiful and quiet place.
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mixingandmelting · 1 day ago
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Flag Check HC Sabbath Ver.
Summary: type of romantic flag when around their crush
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Wooin: Red Flag 🚩 (obviously)
Tends to be extra freaky where he’s wanting to keep all your attention to himself and leave others to think that you two are a package (as that is his ultimate goal)
Unapologetically, vocally flirty and unfiltered when he “bumps” into you when you’re out and about, enjoying all the expressions you make because they’re funny and extremely cute. His favorite so far is flushing from embarrassment and the one filled with dread and annoyance when he gets there and act filthy on spot
Always physically attached to you, walking right beside you where shoulders are brushing, arm either around your shoulders, waist, or arm. Surprisingly does not want to hold hands because he wants to do it when he finally gets to go out with you
Certified social media stalker if you have one, so he’s up to date with the things you like and dislike. Uses the info he collects to get you things when he gives you a heads up for once that’s he’s coming over or inviting you to eat out
He’s possessive and does not like it at all when others get too close to you. When it happens he’s being a jerk, getting under the other person’s skin under the context he’s kidding around when he’s subtly dropping signs. Even better when they’re hot heads and ends up picking a fight against him since they won’t have a chance with you and he has an excuse let out the steam he held back
If they don’t get the hint or chooses to still focus on you, he ends up threatening them to screw off behind your back whether it’s the second you step away for a moment or finding them after you leave
Hyuk: Red Flag 🚩(literally are we going to forget what happened in chapters 502, 506-508? When Wooin says once he's interested in someone no one can stop him?)
Seems laid-back and listless but actually the quieter and more scheming version of Wooin where he plans to leave the impression you guys are actually going out
Does the “coincidentally” meeting you thing which he ends up accompanying you throughout the whole as if it’s natural and you don’t notice what had just happened until the end
Purposely pushes your buttons and tease you unexpectedly, enjoying your reactions 
It happen when, if you’re the unpredictable type and challenge him with high stakes, usually having to do with loser having to do something for the winner, he’s really chatty from the excitement, his blood pumping from the thrill of competition
Likes to lean his head on your shoulder whenever he’s next to you, standing or sitting down
Also stalks your socials to get information on your current likes or dislikes so he knows what to send/give you given the moment and your mood
Especially with the fact he’s quick to notice how you’re feeling, the gifts he gets you are ones he knows that’ll cheer you up, celebrative, or appreciative. Essentially, all his gifts he gives are sent that are deemed appropriate on the current situation
Someone getting close to you is equivalent to them having a death wish. He acts as the grim reaper where  the other person trips over air in front of you in the most embarrassing way or they suddenly need to head somewhere else after you left them and Hyuk alone to get something
Joker/Hajun: Green Flag 
He is so soft and in love with you where he just wants to be with you in the normal, non-creepy way (cough Hyuk and Wooin)
Always is getting you something no matter the circumstance, whether it’s winning you a stuffed toy from the claw machine or getting you food from take-out or a bakery
Has a habit of petting your head or ruffling your hair whenever he thinks you’re cute or acting endearing. Time-to-time, he would place an apple or his newly-acquired puppy on your head when you’re feeling down
He’s very protective of you where he acts as bodyguard whenever he’s hanging out with you. Includes walking a step behind yet still close so he could react if something were to ever happen while keeping both your front and back safe
Even when he’s working out, playing with the puppy, or doing anything right beside you, his attention is completely towards you, actively listening to everything you’re saying
Helps you out with any manual tasks, especially with any heavy lifting. When he’s helping you with getting groceries, he’s carrying the bags. You’re moving and needing to carry boxes? He’s carrying them and placing them in the vehicle for you
When someone is too close to you, he’s extremely quiet and doesn’t get in between the two of you. It’s not because he’s shy but from holding back where his fists are clenched in his pockets or at his sides yet doesn’t want to do anything that scares you
If the person had ill intentions, he lets loose and ends up beating the crap out of them behind your back. If not, he’s releasing the pent up frustration on the ring so RIP to his opponent on those days
Vinny: Green Flag 
He’s extremely stiff and quiet because he has no experience with having a crush, so he doesn’t know what to do
Contrary to his personality, he is extremely jumpy from being hyper-aware of everything when he’s around you. Your voice, your hair, your very presence that’s right next to him - he’s trying to absorb everything of you and engrave it in his mind that even the birds that innocently chirp are a distraction
It’s also from that when there’s accidental physical touch he freezes on spot, not expecting the feeling of warmth and softness of your skin grazing against his
He acts nonchalant but tries his best to mentally and emotionally support you where if it seems you’re holding back, he encourages you to vent/rant on him with a short-grunt along the lines of telling you to just say what’s in your mind
The gifts he usually gets you are small and are accessories such as keychains, phone charms or something useful with the theme that the mascot on them are ones that reminds him of you the most
If he finds out anything new about you, he keeps a mental note of it and remembers it where there are times he’s the one reminding you of things you need to do 
Someone getting too close to you? He instantly is on the edge, standing afar and brooding silently from inferiority complex working at its max and the fear that he could possibly hurt you from his current state clashes with the complex
He has no problems lashing out on spot if the person makes you uncomfortable despite being in front of you. If it’s not that, he would wait for the conversation to end and leave with you but he’s extremely off and quiet as he wouldn’t know how to act normal nor what to do in general
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fires-of-ninjago · 2 days ago
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Ninjago Headcannons - Holiday Edition!
Wow, it's really been a while since I've done one of these, hasn't it?
Since we're heading into the end of the year (and the bulk of the holidays), I thought it might be fun to go through what everyone does during this time of year!
KAI: - Kai has a tendency to go a bit over-board when it comes to the holidays; especially the really big ones (Trying to make sure your little sister has the chase to celebrate and enjoy the holidays that you did will do that to you). - He keeps appropriate decorations everywhere they stay (even every version of the Bounty has a special "Holiday Storage Locker" aboard). - Kai might be able to cook some basic dishes and general comfort foods, but even Zane knows better than to interrupt Kai or offer help if he hasn't explicitly asked for it. - He also doesn't mess around whenever it comes to festivals and making sure that everyone
COLE: - Cole loves helping decorate with the others, and it's totally not because he can carry all of the supplies in one go mainly because he's one of the only ones who can keep Kai in check from trying do anything dumb. - He absolutely ADORES the warmth and food that just permeates the monastery during the holidays, though he typically has to put his stealth-skills into action if he doesn't want to get caught making off with a tray of goodies while Kai and Zane's backs are turned/fighting over ingredients. - The one thing that he can't stand though, is how often his dad seems to pick the absolute worst time to call him to tell him about the latest gig his group is playing (When? Tonight in about an hour of course! Kai already bought everyone tickets and has the Bounty fueled up. See you soon!)
JAY: - He's a lot like Kai in terms of celebrating the holidays (though he's more about enjoying the simplest setups rather than going all-out). - Jay can tell when Nya's about to go into all-out decorating mode, so he makes sure to distract her before Kai can get into the full swing of things... - He always makes a point to bring at least Nya with him to see his parents (and totally not because they can and will hunt them down bring the holidays to them (and also totally NOT because Kai will trade baby stories about Nya in exchange for Jay's with them).
ZANE: - When he first struck out on his own after his father's first death, Zane approached the holidays with an inquisitive detachment. Since he really didn't have any attachment to anything, he really didn't feel anything at experiencing the festivities, except for the how familiar the food seemed. - It wasn't until he met Kai and Nya that he really started to understand the whole point of what the holidays were about. Now he looks forward to them, though he makes it a point to keep Kai and Nya in check. - After he came back from the Never Realm, something in him changed: Now instead of simply looking forward to them, he's started going all-out in planning the celebrations. - Him and Kai have ended up pulling knives on each other in the kitchen more than once while cooking. In their individual defenses: They completely ruined each other's special holiday dishes...
NYA: - She's a lot like her brother when it comes to holidays. Kai might go all out, but she's (a little) more chill about it. - She can cook, and she'll sometimes help out her brother, and disarm him when anyone tries messing with his cooking before it's absolutely ready though she'll normally take care of setting up the atmosphere and making sure that all of the boxes get put away mostly so that won't kill himself trying to do everything himself. - The one thing that Nya really loves about the holidays, is how everyone makes a point to strike out and spend time with their extended families outside of the Monastery.
LLOYD: - He used to love to sit back and watch the others do their things and would just soak up the fruits of everyone's festivities. - While everyone was distracted with their preparations, he would sneak in with Cole to grab a few trays from the cooling racks. - Once he aged up though, he would start volunteering to help Nya keep Kai and Zane from going too far in the kitchen (He's take Zane while Nya would grab Kai). - While everyone else is off visiting their families, Lloyd will usually stick around with Kai and Nya, or Cole or even Zane (mostly because Wu is busy meditating, and his mother's usually off on another dig).
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romana-after-dark · 2 days ago
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Rooms on Fire: Everything We Lost In The Fire
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Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader
Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader
Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader
Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: Madonna has to make a stand.
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.
Extra warnings for chapter: Violence
2.2k words
A/N Please know tags have been spotty so check and make sure you're caught up! Also I am sick so sorry if the writing is mid lololol im trying.
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"We don't have to wait for anyone to follow Burn all the yesterdays, give us our tomorrow Love is like a flame in our desire We'll have to sacrifice everything we lost in the fire." ~Everything We Lost in the Fire, Blue October
Wrapped up in Will’s arms, you try to focus on Francisco’s kisses, not the fact Will’s hands were on your breast, Ben’s mouth was on your cunt, or Santi’s body was incassing Francisco.
It had been nearly 3 weeks since Rey’s body was burned, and you were expected to pretend like nothing was happening. Pretend that after your baby is born, Santi won’t have you and Iris killed. Well, definitely Iris. Will had a way of convincing Santiago to follow his lead, and Will still seemed to love you… but Iris was certainly dead. It was probably Francisco and Will who convinced Santi not to kill her after the fire incident, that more stress would surely trigger something in your pregnancy… That was all Santiago cared about. Not you, definitely not Iris. Just the savior…
You wonder if he believes in the savior. You wonder if you even believe in the savior… You didn’t know what you believed, honestly.
Francisco’s tongue explored your mouth for the 100th time, and you tried to find solace in him but it was growing harder and harder as time went on. You felt alone, you felt like Iris was the only one who actually understood what you were going through. Sometimes, when your husbands were asleep, you’d sneak out to the servants quarters. You’d try not to think about Rey or Jonah’s rooms as you passed them, softly knocking on Iris’s door. She’d tell you to come in, and you’d find her in bed, usually crying.
 Carefully, you crawl into  bed with her, and just lay there. Sometimes you cry with her. Sometimes she holds you. Rarely, you talk. Iris would answer questions you had, truth of the attempted revolt as she knew it, Jonah’s affair with Delilah, Beatriz's murder, Jonah dancing at your fathers death. You knew you should hate Jonah, but something inside you continued that attachment. It wasn’t right, he’d tried to rape you, but it was so out of character for him… your brain struggled to make sense of these two versions of Jonah.
After a few hours, you get up and go back to bed with Will or Francisco. You weren’t allowed to be alone with Iris during the day anymore, so you spent most of your time with one of your husbands, and occasionally a guard. None of them were like Rey. They’d all seen him burned, his body beaten and slaughtered. No one wanted to be your friend.
You try to pretend it’s Francisco’s hands on you, you try to block out everything but him, but of course you aren’t that lucky.
Santiago grabs Francisco’s hair, yanking his mouth away from you and to his own lips, kissing him deeply and making Francisco melt in little moans. You can’t help the pang of jealousy that flares up around you. Benny notices too, pulling his lips away from between your legs and planting a sloppy kiss on Francisco’s asscheek, kissing his way to your lover's crack. Soon, you are all but forgotten as Santiago and Ben fight for Franisco’s pleasure.
Ben’s tongue is buried in Francisco’s ass, prodding deep inside the tight hole you’d fucked as well, making Francisco whine and buck as Santiago jerked him off, bringing him to orgasm. Francisco’s seed spilled out onto the sheets, white and sticky rope after rope as Francisco whimpered and moaned. 
Will’s body was firm against you, holding you close with one hand touching your body, the other fingering you and picking you up where Ben left you forgotten. 
You watch as Ben goes straight from ass to mouth, kissing Francisco hard and pulling him by his chubby cheeks away from Santiago. A battle for Francisco’s affection insured, the two men kissing Francisco every which way as Will brought you to orgasm with his fingers reaching around your large stomach.
“Look at our husbands, Madonna.” He murmurs softly in your ear, so soft you can’t help fall into him just a little. “Look how beautiful they are.”
And they were. Objectively, they were all beautiful, sculpted with perfect bodies and handsome features and so utterly obsessed with each other, the clawing at each others skin and biting of their lips didn’t matter. You watch as Santiago draws blood from Ben’s shoulder, a sharp reminder of his position without going too far to invoke Will’s wrath. Francisco clawing his nails down Santiago’s back. Ben edging Santiago’s cock but stopping him as the base, right before climax. You see the matching cuts on Francisco and Santiago’s arms.
They were beautiful. But you couldn’t see their beauty.
You saw Will, who killed Jonah. Jonah, who yes did something terrible to you but was still a father to you. Will, who controlled your every move, who made allowances for Santiago’s behavior again and again and again, who knew what Ben did to Iris but did nothing.
You saw Ben, a rapist who impregnated Iris, who killed Rey.
You saw Santiago, a psychopath who raped and burned you while pregnant, who was responsible for the distruction of so many lives here.
And Francisco, who let it all happen.
*
You fell asleep that night in Francisco's arms, the other retiring to their rooms. You slept with Frankie most nights, Santiago surely letting it go for now until he no longer needed you. What were these last 2 months when he could have an eternity with Francisco? You were deep in sleep, dreaming when something began to wake you. A hand on your mouth. You were certain it was the incubus again, you try to scream but the hand over your mouth is clamped on tight. You open your eyes to see Jonah’s face.
All attempts to scream, to move are fruitless as you wake up, writhing but you are held tightly around the waist, large hands holding down both of your own. Jonah -or the incubus taking his form- didn’t attempt to touch you, instead when you locked eyes with him they were wide with worry. Tired, dark bags under his eyes. You look down. It’s Francisco’s hands that are holding you.
Your body stills, tears forming in your eyes from fear and anger and confusion. Jonah isn’t dead.
Slowly, Francisco’s hand is removed from your mouth to let out a whimper as you turn around to see him. “What’s happening?” You cry to your husband, his soft face looking as scared as you are.
“We’re leaving.” He helps you sit up in the bed, then gets up, getting dressed in the light of the candle.
“No.” You shake your head, inching away from Jonah. “I���m not going anywhere with him.” Your voice is quiet, cracking with emotion as you try to wrap your head around it all. 
Iris’s voice speaks as she lights a candle now, revealing her face in the dark room. “It’s okay, trust me.” She uses your real name.
“But… but he… he tried too…” You couldn’t say the words.
Jonah was knelt at your bed, his eyes pleading for understanding. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for what i did honey. It was wrong. But please… I need you to know I would never, ever have violated you… it doesn’t make what happened any better but… I need you to know how it really happened.”
Shaking in bed, you look to Iris, the only face here you could trust for truth. “Just hear him out. I won’t tell you how to feel.”
Francisco gently tugged you out of bed, dressing you in warm clothing and putting socks and shoes on as Jonah told you what happened. He explained how Will made him a deal, a chance to get Iris out. How Will gave permission to rape you, but he swore up and down he’d kill himself before he took it that far, that he would never have touched you or hurt you, he just needed to scare you.
You couldn’t process this. Will was… Will. You didn’t trust him, but Will protected you! He’d never let someone hurt you to scare a lesson into you!
“No…” You say as Francisco ties your shoes. “No he wouldn’t let someone hurt me… he took a bullet for me!”
Iris shushed you harshly, but Jonah shook his head. “No, he didn’t. Melody was trying to kill Ben because he raped her. Honey…” He sighed. “Iris… she told me about the “incubus…” I thought you knew…”
You blink. “Knew what?”
“Will. He was coming into your room every night… I didn’t- Rey and I thought… we didn’t think he was doing it when you slept. I’m sorry.”
No. No, Will wouldn’t do that. Will wouldn’t take you while you were sleeping! Why would he do that when you were available to him all day every day? You remembered what Santiago said, that if the baby came out with blonde hair, there’d be a problem… When trying to conceive, Francisco was barely talking to you, and Santiago was angry at you the first time you didn’t end up pregnant… you were fill most days by the Miller brothers multiple times…
This baby was likely one of theirs.
“Madonna…” Francisco whispers wrapping his arm around your middle. “We have to go. We’re getting you and Iris out.”
*
Down the halls, you sneak, the four of you walking as quietly as possible and navigating where guards are posted, where the floors creak and moan the most, and how to avoid Ben or Santiago or Will. 
Your heart was beating a million times a minute, your skin on fire with fear, holding your belly. You needed to be brave. This was no life for your baby to grow up in, Santiago was not a parent to raise a child…
For the first time, you realize why your dad was willing to tear everything he knew apart to make a better life for you.
“This way.” Francisco motions, but Jonah stops, making you and Iris stop too.
Jonah whispers. “You said we were going this way? That way is past Ben’s room.”
“There was a change in the guards, Will has them all posted along that side now.”
“And you just now thought to tell me?”
“C’mon.”
Reluctantly, Jonah follows Francisco down the hall, right to Ben’s room where he stops.
“...Frank…”
But Francisco lingers on the door, hand brushing against the wood.
“Frankie, don’t.” Iris pleads, but you are frozen. Jonah grabs Iris, telling you to follow him but you’re frozen in place. He doesn’t see you not following, or he doesn’t care. His priority is Iris, and you can’t blame him for that. You watch in horror as Francisco knocks on the door, and Ben answers with a wide grin.
“Should’ve known you’d come knocking, baby…” He pulls him in for a kiss, pulling his pouty lower lips between his teeth but stopping when he saw you.
“Why is she here?” he says with disdain. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did. He was supposed to love you. He could be the father of your baby… He’s the father of Iris’s baby you remind yourself.
“Benny, Benny I need you to listen to me, okay?” Francisco pleads, his hands pawing at Benny’s baby face, begging for attention, for understanding and suddenly you know what he’s doing.
“Francisco…” You mutter, disappointment clawing at your throat, but both men ignored you.
“Frankie, what's going on?” Ben’s voice was soft and worried, that tender tone he only ever used on Francisco. He half chuckles, and it’s a nervous sound. “You’re scaring me here…”
A soft kiss to his lips. “We need to leave, okay? We gotta get Madonna out of here… she can’t be with Santi, he’s crazy, he’ll kill her.”
Ben shakes his head, laughing lightly in disbelief. “No way, man. We have a duty here. The savior, Santi-”
“FUCK Santi, Ben, I-” Francisco’s voice crack, holding Ben against the wall, his plush lips trailing the younger man’s skin. “Benny, please, I love you, I love you so fucking much. We don’t need him, we can just leave, we can start a new life… Jonah and Iris are leaving, we’ll be far away with Madonna long before anyone knows we’re gone… We don’t need anyone else, we only need each other… Please, please, please, just… come with me…”
Ben searched his face, blue eyes shining. He touched Francisco’s face with such tenderness you didn’t think possible from the hurricane of a man. Ben with Francisco was a totally different man.
But he was still loyal to Santiago above all else.
“Frankie, let’s just go talk to Santi-”
“No, Ben-”
“We’ll work this out, get Iris and Jonah back”
No, no they can’t have her. They can’t fucking touch Iris.
But Francisco just nods, closing his eyes. “Okay. Okay yeah, we’ll make this right.”
 “Francisco!” You are once again ignored.
Francisco closes in on Ben, caging him against the wall as he kisses him. “We’ll be together, right? After the savior is born, we can be together…”
“Yeah baby.” Ben kisses him back, arms wrapped around his thick middle. “Just you and me. We don’t need no one else.”
Francisco raises his hand to Ben’s neck and you think he’s going to caress his face… but then Ben’s movements halt to a stop. Then, a slow jerking of his body, and Francisco whispering, ‘I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Benny’
Blood trickled down his arm, and as Francisco pulled away you see that Francisco slit his throat. He slowly lowers his lover’s heavy frame to the ground, the younger man’s body still jolting and a gagging, gurgling sound escaping his throat. Ben was dying silently, a complete opposite of the way he lived.
His body shook as the last blood spilled, and all Francisco could do was hold him and cry.
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BEN IS DEAD!!!!!!
Also, JONAH IS ALIVE!
next chapter is our finale!!!
what do we think is gonna happen, girlie pops!!!
I have enjoyed so much writing this series, im getting emotional coming to the end!!!!
Love you all soooooo much!
If you like Logan Howlett, check out my new series Be Quiet
How to keep up with the story!
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ruporas · 2 years ago
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soft (and some bittersweet)
#trigun stampede#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#i think they both spent majority of their lives in solitude and ofc vash went town to town and made friendships promises and etc along the w#way + he had his home and whatnot in the long years he's been alive but he still just seemed so lonely.#in prior versions of trimax he had friends at home at least and maybe he mightv made some but luida and brad are basically just his#guardians in this adaption. like brad used to be a homie.... vash watched that little dude grow up.... and jessica too.... but he doesn't#have that in this adaption. nor a town like july where he had grown close to the townspeople and shaped that tragedy to be closer to his#heart. and wolfwood spent years fighting under the eom and doing shit under their jurisdiction when we saw him so adamantly try to reject#and fight back against that fate. i dont think he had a second at all to get familiar with townspeople or even care to#so its just these two lonely ass souls and  vash immediately seeing the good in ww and points it out#ww who is under orders again to be involved in vash's business but he's also SO touchy about it bc vash is so careless and lack that self#regard and also just is not seeing the world that ww is seeing. but then vash helps him and saves him by sharing a piece of what /he/ sees#and it fucking. rescrambled ww's brain for a sec. HE GAVE HIM HOPE!!! he gave him hope!!!! and in turn ww gave vash hope too and its#all done in like 3-4 eps. there's so much fervent attachment in what they managed to give each other in such a short time#but theyre limited to the contract to the inevitable confrontation with knives - so while theyd want to give into that chance to love this#person who managed to give them smth special they just can't at all#ruporas art
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Sonine Prime ... Part 2
Hi, everyone and welcome back to Sonine Prime! The part of the show when I come out and talk about Sonine (and a bit of Sontails) in Sonic Prime!
I unfortunately had to end part 1 a bit prematurely due to tumblr's video limit, so we didn't get very far into it. Right now we're about halfway into Sonic Prime Season 1 Episode 1, and (as promised) we're going to start part 2 tackling the scene that begins with Sonic and Nine's first meeting, and ends with them recounting Tails' and Nine's backstories.
So, without further ado, let's begin
<< Part 1 | Part 3 >>
(Essay/thoughts/analysis under the cut)
As I said in part 1, there is a lot going on here, and a lot to tackle.
We'll start with Sonic's side.
Now, it's important to mention that at this time, Sonic just believes Nine to be Tails who lost his memories/doesn't remember him. So most of this scene is Sonic calling Nine "Tails" and trying to appeal to him by talking about old times. While this will initially tell us more about how he feels about Tails than it does Nine (once again interesting that Tails specifically gets this focus as the best bud, a focus on "making things okay again" that is only later matched by Sonic's treatment of Thorn when he also believes that Amy is deep down inside her, because he initially believes them both to be a friend who has just forgot Sonic and themselves. Tails and Amy parallels in relation to Sonic: IIII), this is the basis upon which Sonic will build his relationship with Nine on, even though he will later consider Nine as a separate different person in relation to Tails.
Now, this scene is meant to call back to the flashback scene from earlier. Sonic punches in the code to Tails' lab and hopes it still works ("Tails you crafty fox"???🧐), and just as with Tails in the flashback, Sonic turns Nine's chair to make him face him.
"Tails, it's me!"
From Sonic's pov here, he can’t understand why Nine is fighting him or really what's happening. "Tails" was the nickname that Tails' bullies used when they were picking on him, but after meeting Sonic he was able to reclaim that nickname for himself. So to Sonic, he can’t understand why saying this name continues to make Nine angry and insist that his name is something else, just as he's put off that "Tails" would attack him and act like he doesn't know him.
He also spends a good chuck of the fight looking very hurt
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"Tails, stop! We're buds, amigos...best friends!"
...
"Snap out of it, we go way back!"
...
"All my best memories of Green Hill have you in 'em. And you're not punching me!"
...
"Don't you wanna go home? Blue skies? Sunny beaches? Palm trees?"
And after spending most of the fight defending himself and dodging in favor of trying to appeal to who he thinks is Tails, trying to summon up memories of them being best friends, Sonic throws himself into the path of the other train to save Nine from getting hit.
"I've been trying to tell you that we are friends."
"Fabricated stories won't keep me from beating you back, intruder."
"Stop, just. Stop... We're friends—best friends. This has to ring a bell?"
Sonic just can't wrap his head around it—a world in which his best friend doesn't remember him, calls their times together "fabricated stories", fights him no matter how he tries to explain that they’re friends. None of this makes sense to him, and so he tries to explain how they met, because surely then "Tails" will remember him, right?
"From the moment we first met..." (interesting choice of words, considering what often follows this is the impression the character saying it got from the other or how they have always felt about the other)
But "Tails" only expresses surprise in how much Sonic knows, despite the fact that Nine has never met him before now, and explains a different, much darker version of Tails' backstory
One that doesn't include Sonic.
And again Sonic is having his hard time wrapping his head around this. That "Tails" is here, and yet doesn't "remember" him. That this "Tails" seems to have a similar backstory, but never met him. "Tails...but not. Here, but...gone?"
But he doesn't get too long to examine this before Nine asks "So, what else did we do?"
And this pretty much immediately perks Sonic up after he gets a look at Nine's face, like he really is curious what he could be missing.
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And then of course that face comes back
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And...it makes Sonic so visually happy and excited to talk about the Tornado, mention how they've gone on so many adventures and busted Eggman so many times...
"Look. We've had our share of ups and downs, but when we stick together? We never lose. And when all's said and done, there's no better reward than sharing a chili dog with your best pal. And that's just the tip of the iceberg! We've got a lifetime of adventures and memories together."
Even though Sonic doesn't yet consider Nine his own person, this entire scene is incredibly telling as to who Tails is to him (best friend, partner, amigo, forever companion), and sets up a basis for his relationship to Nine.
Now for Nine's side. For him, the bulk of the fight is him being aggressive and reacting due to his trauma. "Tails" was the name he was called as he was bullied and assaulted for years, and a name he came to associate with said traumatic experiences. The name he claimed for himself, symbolic of how he saved himself with his own power, is "Nine". Thus, when this strange hedgehog intrudes in his lab, interrupts his work, and calls him "Tails", boy does that set him off.
"Who sent you?!"
He's afraid and angry. Who else could this stranger be but one of those bullies or someone else to just call him a freak, intruding in his space.
And then the strange hedgehog calls them best friends? Continues to call him "Tails" despite Nine's clear aversion, and yet is trying to appeal to him emotionally?
But then the hedgehog puts himself in danger to save him. And that's really strange.
Because no one has friends here, right? Why would anyone save him? No one cares about anyone else, no one would just save someone at the expense of their own life, this hedgehog acts like he knows him and yet doesn't seem to know anything about him.
"Fabricated stories won't keep me from beating you back, intruder."
That's what it has to be, right? Maybe it's connected to why the hedgehog broke into his base. He saved him only because he needed him, right?
But the hedgehog makes it clear he never wanted a fight, the two rest on safe ground in the scareport. And then he tells another story to appeal to him.
The story of a two tailed fox who was picked on for being different, who was saved by Sonic, the very hedgehog before him.
And although that story is not quite right, the resemblance surprises Nine, catching his interest. Even if his past didn't happen that way, how could Sonic get those details (him being himself, getting picked on by jerks for having an extra Tail) right without Nine having never met him before? The way Nine reacts even implies his story is highly personal, and one he'd never told anyone.
And perhaps he feels a bit jealous, then.
Because this "Tails" that Sonic keeps talking about? He had someone there for him, someone who protected him when he was being bullied and picked on. But Nine? He took a beating for years. No one showed up to protect him, much less save him. He learned that he was alone, learned that these selfless people who would protect the weak don't exist, and so he finally saved himself.
Is that the kind of person Sonic is—the kind of person who would save a victim who's hurting, someone he'd never met, even if it doesn't benefit him? Just like how Sonic had saved him from being hit by that train?
"You weren't there"
And so what if Nine lets himself pretend for a moment that what Sonic is saying is true? What does it feel like to be Sonic's best friend, that person he'd stuck his neck out for and saved back then, someone who goes on adventures and kicks butt with him, who shares a meal with him, someone with whom they're both happy?
The way he begins to smile as Sonic talks about his times with Tails.
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"But when we stick together, we never lose"
The way he frowns (touch adverse as he is) when Sonic puts a hand on his shoulder, but relaxes into it and gives this stranger a smile, and the way he perks up with the cutest, even bigger smile when Sonic pokes his heart.
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"And when all's said and done? There's no better reward than sharing a chili dog with your best pal"
And then...Nine frowns again when Sonic says "best pal".
Because no matter how great that idea of home sounds, to Nine, none of that happened. None of this is really about him, no matter what Sonic says.
But, this is the beginning of the end for Nine. In just five in show minutes, he goes from trying to get answers out of Sonic, killing him, beating him back, to becoming interested in his "fabricated stories" and willing to help him with his little problem. He invites him into his lab this time and helps distribute the energy coming from him evenly on his body, even though he complains: "The only thing I hate more than people in my space is whiners."
Or the entire next scene. Sonic calls him amazing for his creation of the extra metal tails (which doesn't end up hitting Nine as intented), corrects himself after calling Nine "Tails" on accident, and then Sonic just speeds off, only for Nine to say "No– Wait, you dope! It's not safe!" and run after him.
While this is during an early period of the show where you can easily argue that Nine only cares about what he could use Sonic for and his current interest in the energy he exhibits, it still says a lot that he actually begins to show care in another person's wellbeing. And it also tells us a lot about Sonic that he'd transitioned from calling him "Tails" to "Nine" so quickly, even if he has to correct himself.
Now, as we move on to Nine and Sonic's capture by the Chaos Council, this brief scene of them outside before their capture also shows us once more just how quickly Sonic is jumping to "normalcy", starting with getting "Tails" back as his adventuring buddy. Although he wasn't incredibly concerned before, he brushes off Nine's concerns about the Chaos Council, instead acting like everything will be fine ("Wanna run up the walls?"). And we can see that Sonic still believes Nine is just Tails, absent his memories of Sonic and their friends.
"When you get your memory back, you'll remember that 'low profile' isn't my thing"
Nine: I told you to keep a low profile!
Sonic: No you didn't.
Nine: Yes I did.
Sonic: You didn't.
Nine: Yes I did.
Sonic: Nooo, you didn't.
Nine: Are you sure we were "best friends".
Ahjsjsj well. Nine says that, but he'll come to realize that he likes Sonic even when he finds him frustrating or annoying (just like Tails and, frankly, his other friends do😂). He already has been helping Sonic out and allowing him to be in his space, even if he doesn't understand Sonic.
And as I have hit the tumblr post picture limit, that's it for part 2! For part 3, we'll be beginning with Sonic and Nine's confinement in The Chaos Council's base, and perhaps I'll finally get to move on to Episode 2😂
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biblicalhorror · 28 days ago
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Thinking about my Rook hours </3
#i did not mean to get so attached to this character so immediately#but god the scenes with harding and taash and solas have given me so much to chew on#like. first of all raised in the mournwatch as an orphan fully removed from her culture as a qunari#but also being very aware she didnt look like any of the other young mournwatch recruits and there was something Different about her#being genuinely invested in the work they do but also being so afraid to step out of line and be ousted#only for that to exactly happen the one time she pushed back against the nobility#then she's throwing herself into her new job helping varric search the realms for solas#and suddenly because of a call she made he's too weak to fight and she has solas in her head telling her how badly she fucked everything up#and she just feels so small and worthless#but no. she cant let her emotions get anyone else hurt#fuck solas. fuck him for trying to pin this on her.#as a matter of fact fuck anyone trying to undermine her while she's doing what needs to be done#she sees how harding is blaming herself for what happened and she tells her she cant blame herself#'blame me' she says secretly in her head#'im the reason you got hurt'#but she knows harding would see right through her#so she puts on a happy face for her and stays optimistic when she starts showing signs of being the first dwarf to cast magic#but deep inside rook is panicking because what if something is changing her harding? what if something is going to take her away from her?#she compensates by trying to seem as laid back as possible#and then they meet emmrich and rook is launched back into her mournwatch mindset#she stands up straighter and uses bigger fancier words to keep up with the professor#and harding calls her on it and suddenly she realizes how much shes been compartmentalizing everything#fully shifting her personality around her friends based on what she thinks they need#she realizes with horror that solas of all people has seen the most unfiltered version of her#the version that is angry and frustrated with how unfair everything is#but is also very aware that no matter what she does she will be seen as a villain in the eyes of some#simply because she cannot save everyone#and then she hangs out with taash and sees someone who also compartmentalizes to hell and seems like. okay about it#and taash doesnt need anyone to take care of them. sihu feels oddly relaxed around their no-nonsense approach to socialization#datv spoilers
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic#tag talk#like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in.#taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond#I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that.#a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing.#a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached.#people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment.#if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't.#there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship.#why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time#cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live#and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with.#and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels#I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden.#but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue.#I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually#the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously.#I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable#and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting
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what-aboutno · 1 year ago
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Diluc fell first but Childe fell harder. In this essay I will-
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cjgladback · 2 months ago
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[ID: Short video of two identical 3D rendered eight-inch C-clamps, upright on a taupe background. The body of the clamps is black cast iron while the parts that would move are copper. The clamps and camera are unmoving but overlays wipe transition from right to left, first a gradient over the background then wireframes over the clamps. The closer clamp has a much more detailed mesh, primarily grids of four-sided polygons, very dense on the screw-threaded shaft. The back clamp's shaft is a simple cylinder and it has many triangles visible on the body. The final overlay labels the back clamp with 4.77 thousand tris, the foreground clamp 71.09 thousand tris or 1.14 million tris when subdivided twice. The loop finishes by removing the gradient and then the overlays. End ID]
So about that "maybe I'll make an LOD1 of the clamp, too" thought. I now get to figure out where I should offer this as an asset for purchase and how I should format that deliverable. Ko-fi will be the easy option since they already have my payment information, whereas Sketchfab has some traffic coming in for the freebies already so it would make sense to offer there as long as fees or time overhead isn't obscene. If you have advice as a seller or purchaser of 3D assets, please feel free to share!
#dragon roll#cj gladback#blender#3d modeling#one of the things I need to decide is whether it'll cheapen the product to include a blender file along with a common export#because like the armature won't have constraints when imported back in and i've seen at least one newbie to unity struggle with textures#without being able to see how they should be attached for my CC-BY pizza box (to be fair I think that person didn't even know#what a normal map was and they didn't seem to think to look at the documentation once they saw messages about texture packing#which at least for that version/pipeline they were on required a specific order of packing in one file#so they were struggling with having multiple greyscale images--whereas on the LOD1#where I needed AO to get it to look right on the threads i have already packed it with the roughness and metallic#and i didn't check that it was the order unity specifically would expect so that would be another hiccup for that user)#but yeah on the one hand having a blender file would potentially be a good reference and value added for blender users#but it might make everyone else balk at paying for something where they couldn't use a portion of the deliverables#and i'd need to either update it or accept that it would get old and lose value if i don't keep it compatible with newer builds#as always much thought going into it now because i'd like it to be a simple system to do future assets#just doing the same thing so people who purchase from me can also know what to expect with other products#beyond just where to find them#ramblings#tag you're writ
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bubble-you · 8 months ago
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true bestiehood would be letting me make them watch mummy on the orient express with them and let me watch their reactions and listen to me talk about it and repeat this until they get the significance of every line
#but I can’t offer that to anyone who will accept so it’s just me and god and the telepaths#who can hear me thinking and feeling about this episode in which#two space time travellers consider not time travelling together anymore#but in a way that makes it pretty clear to the both of them that they a) are so melancholy about it and#b) still care about each other outside of travelling companionship#c) would want to see each other again and the thought of not that is very solemn#d) one is trying to entice the other in using dangerous thrills they know the other likes#e) a passerby explicitly points out that this relationship’s end seems to involve a lot more commemoration and nostalgia than#a clean parting after a big disagreement — no strings attached#f) one comes to forgive the other and reconcile their perspectives#g) also admitting that maybe this relationship is not healthy but it’s addictive#h) keeping this information from one’s partner.#an emotional affair.#having flashbacks to that text post thats like dw series 8 in which Clara Oswald treats her bf and also a 2000 year old alien#both of them like the side piece until one of them dies#I dunno man. relevantly I need to watch banshees of inishierin (??) which is also about dissolution of friendship#just to see how humans do it#I relate to this version — no clean breaks. recurring yearning — as an ND because friends are that much harder to make#also… it’s hard to forget someone if you’ve hurt them. as if I could fix it by being any different from me…#I am changing my spiky nature. I am noticing it#and changing my responses.#it still crops up sometimes#I hope I can be tolerable in company in 10 years time#or barring that — all my significant others live in my neighbourhood and we are neighbours and I still get my much needed solitude
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loverboybrightsideghost · 1 year ago
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do i want to finish watching my adventures with superman
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dead-end-draws · 9 months ago
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Tribe Banner concept art:
Folks seemed to enjoy my WOF WIPS, so here’s more concept art for y’all! My favorite thing about WOF is the potential for world building. I thought it’d be cool to see a tribe emblem represented on a banner/flag of sorts:
Read below for some of the thought process / headcannons behind the design choices: 👇
Skywing Banner:
Skywings pride themselves on 3 things; treasure, fire, & their enormous, soaring wingspan which steals the sky.
As such, portrayed on the banner, the fabric (often made with dyed cow or goat leathers) resembles draped dragon wings. Two Skywings embrace a goblet, which is spewing golden fire.
The banner is often held aloft with iron or gold poles, signifying to other tribes their wealth and pride.
Mudwing banner:
These banners are fashioned with leather hides from cow or crocodile skin, held aloft with bamboo, and painted with a Talon-print & Reed crest.
The talonprint symbolizes community and the strength of Mudwing sibling bonds. The reed border unifies all Mudwings regardless of their relationship to home; the swamp. Bigwings are often seen carrying these into battle, signifing their status and making it easier for a sib to locate them in the flurry of a fight.
Sandwing Banner:
Sandwing flags are made with camel skins and dyed cactus leather.
A crest shows a Sandwing coiled around a beaming sun, a reminder that despite the revered 3 moons, Sandwings are born to thrive in sunlight.
The fabric is cut in a way to mimic the swooping dunes of Sandwing territory. And the poles of the flags are equally intricate, with scorpion tails and golden ropes which frame the banner.
These flags make prominent appearances in parades, festivals, and markets, and even miniature version are often displayed in homes or as tapestries/carpets.
Seawing banner:
These banners are often seen displayed in royal quarters or councils, or above land to mark territory.
A nautilus shell crest on front echoes the swirl-pattern associated with royal Seawings: The banner’s borders resemble waves and a dragon swimming beneath their surface.
These are crafted with rich materials, strung with seashells, pearls, silver dollars, and deep oceanic color fabric. There is severe penalty for Seawings found plucking treasure from the banners, as they are a direct symbol of royalty.
Nightwing Banner:
These banners emphasize the Nightwings’ relationship to the moon, their source of power and praise. The material, a contrast of white stitching against purple velvet showcases moonlight and night, black scales against stars, magic and mystery.
They are seen decorated with 3 moons at the top and a centered dragon reaching up into the night sky.
These banners were often used during the war as secret code by spies to deliver to other tribes. Prophecy scrolls often came attached, delivering cryptic messages or secrets in the night. These banners all helped add to the secrecy of the Dragonet Prophecy, and kept tribes on their toes around Nightwings.
Rainwing banner:
Rainwing banners are not used for battle purposes like other tribes, most are mere decoration, location indicators, and have no unified design.
However, It is said back when Rainwings left the rainforest to trade pre-war, this particular banner design was often raised above Rainwing merchant tables, and showcases the coiled tail of a Rainwing with leaves, vines, and other sights from the rainforest adorning a bamboo pole. Bright color combinations accentuated the flag to entice curious customers.
Now, only one tattered version of the original Rainwing banner remains, displayed proudly in Queen Glory’s quarters, a reminder that building the Rainwings’ community is their most important goal.
Icewing Banner:
These banners reflect the same standards Icewings hold themselves to.
Like a visual of the rankings themselves, each banner is cut perfectly from an Icewing’s trained, serrated claws to resemble icicles, and crafted with fine blue stitching.
Flags are often held aloft with perfectly polished narwhal horn or bone, and can be inlaid with sapphires or diamond.
Icewing soldiers are often gifted these during ceremonies, and perform training exercises with the flags to test their stance/attentiveness. The crest showcases the swift sharpness of ice through a flying dragon, and a snowflake toward the bottom reminding Icewings that even minuscule snowflakes, small things, should be perfect in form.
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strawberrykidneystone · 6 days ago
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picking up strays
sevika x gender neutral reader
summary: you found a kitten in a dumpster on your way home from work and sevika is less than thrilled
a/n: sevika is a cat person idc idc
tags: fluff, cats, sevika, reader, jinx, and isha family, slightly suggestive
ao3 version
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you had been begging sevika to adopt a cat with you ever since you moved into her apartment, but she always shot you down.
today however, the cat distribution system had worked its magic and you heard a high-pitched mewing coming from the dumpster on your way home. when you investigated, you found the fluffiest little black kitten with bright orange eyes that had been left all alone. you cooed down at the little kitten and picked her up, holding her against your chest. she immediately nuzzled into you and started purring loudly, happily settling against you. you couldn't help the 'awe' that left your lips as you looked around for her mother just in case. finding no other cats in the area, you happily started up your walk back home once again with the little fluff ball in your arms.
“i’m home,” you called out into the house, jinx waving absentmindedly in your direction and sevika calling out a greeting from the kitchen.
you walked into your busy house, greeted by jinx and isha working on yet another new project in the living room with parts scattered all over the place. the two were so occupied in their own little world that they didn’t even notice the kitten sleeping away on your chest.
you giddily walked into the kitchen with the kitten hidden under your jacket and waited patiently for sevika to turn the burner off of her current cooking project before she turned to face you.
“hey baby, how was your day?” she asked with a small smile, walking up to you and kissing the top of your head
“good, i have a little surprise though…”
“oh yeah?” she said lowly with a smirk, leaning her face down close to yours.
you giggled and lightly smacked her shoulder, “not that kind of surprise sev.”
her posture slightly deflated, but she still cocked her head to the side curiously, “then what is it?”
the brightest smile crept onto your lips as you opened your jacket and held up the kitten to her face, the kitten’s little body dangling as you held her under her armpits.
"absolutely not."
"awwwe cmon! if you can take in strays i can too!" you insisted, hugging the kitten back into your chest.
“hey! we heard that!” jinx called out in a slightly annoyed tone from the living room. you stuck your head out of the kitchen doorway and stuck your tongue out at her, isha returning your gesture as jinx flipped you off with her mechanical middle finger.
turning your attention back to sevika, you pressed the kitten against your cheek and stuck your bottom lip out in a pout, “please sev? i promise i’ll be her main caretaker you won’t have to do anything!”
sevika tried to hard to resist your pleasing eyes, but her resolve seemed to easily crack when it came to you.
“fine. but it’s not sleeping with us.”
“yay! no promises,” you said in a sing-songy voice and pressed a kiss to her cheek, cradling the kitten in your arms. she couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips as she watched you show the kitten to isha and jinx, the two of them quickly enamored with how playful the tiny cat was. isha decided on the name pumpkin, but sevika refused to call her anything but ‘cat’ to “not get too attached”.
after a late-night run to the nearest pet store, you set up everything that the kitten would need but couldn’t seem to find her when you got home. going up to your room and opening the door, you had to cover your mouth to stifle your giggle as you saw sevika passed out on her back with the tiny little kitten asleep on her chest, rising and falling with her breathing.
a/n: sorry this is super short but it was stuck in my brain
taglist: @maneskinwh0re @archangeldyke-all @fandoms-will-be-the-death-of-me @sevikasfan
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