#seeing my mother when i spoke to her last at only 45 years old having every medical complication possible left and right

[blurred-antics]

realizing that the average person in your family lived to about 65-70 years old, with several years of intensive mental + physical deterioration before that, and then realizing that you're nearing middle aged at only 25 years old as a result. that's. something.

[littleskeletonprincessss]

DILF - Ted Nivision x Reader

I think i'll make this a multi fic... no NSFW in this part but because of what a DILF is and the fact that it will be NSFW in future parts, I'm gonna go ahead and say MDNI

The vibration of your phone against your desk tore your tired eyes and depleting attention from Professor Stinwell's dull voice and the monotony that is color theory.

"Hello?" Your voice cracked from disuse.

"Hi, is this Y/N?" A deep voice responded.

"It is," you cleared your throat "May I ask who's calling?"

"Hi, This is Ted Nivision, my wife and I are friends of Heather's, and she recommended your babysitting service. I'm sorry, she gave us your number and said it'd be fine to reach out whenever."

"Yes! Of course. I'd be happy to help."

"That's a relief. Normally, we'd want to meet before hand for you to meet our girls, but we actually would need you for tonight, my mother in law had something come up last minute and isn't able to come. Would that be okay?"

"That's totally fine. How old are your girls?" You asked, trying to figure out what kind of activities to prepare.

"We have three year old twins, Penelope, we call her Penny, and Tilly."

"Those are beautiful names. What time do you need me tonight?"

"Would you be able to be here at 7:00? It would be a few hours, we have a late dinner with my wife's colleague, so we probably wouldn't be home until around 10:30."

"That totally works." You already knew you'd be exhausted for your early class tomorrow but wanted to make a good first impression.

"Great. Let me give you our address and we'll see you when you get here."

**********

Pulling up to the Nivision's house at 6:45 you admired how beautiful the house was. It wasn't massive, but it had the charm of a southern cottage that you loved, a comfortable looking swing sitting on the framed porch, toys littering the floor and ivy climbing the lattice on the side.

Knocking on the door you looked at the yard, noticing the obvious time that was put into the landscaping, lawn mowed to perfection, flower beds full of colors, and a large tree with a swing.

You turned back to the door when you heard it being unlocked.

"Y/N?" A man, you assumed Ted, answered. Looking up you were taken aback at how handsome he was, and his sweet brown eyes and infectious smile only added to his charm.

"That's me. You must be Ted, we spoke on the phone." You smiled back, offering your hand.

"It's nice to meet you." He said, taking your hand and shaking it before opening the door wider. "Please, come in."

"Carrie, the sitter is here!" He called up the stairs, walking into a family room to the right.

Following him in, you see two identical little girls sitting on the floor, surrounded by plastic plates and cups.

Ted sat between the girls, before taking a teacup from one of the girls, his large hands dwarfing it, and making you smile from the ridiculousness.

"We're having a tea party," he said, looking up at you. "Aren't we, girls? Can you say hi to Y/N?"

"Hi! I'm Y/N!" you said, crouching down and introducing yourself.

"Hi!" one of the little girls said, waving at you excitedly.

"That's Tilly. And this one-" Ted said, reaching out and tickling the other one, who'd handed him his tea, making her giggle. "is Penny."

"Hi, Penny." You whispered, giving a small wave, matching her shy demeanor.

"If you ladies would excuse me, I'm going to talk to Y/N for a bit." He says, standing and offering you a hand to help you up.

"Can I get you a water or anything?" Ted offers, walking into the kitchen, motioning for you to sit at the bar.

"That'd be great, thank you." He takes a water bottle from the fridge and slides it across the counter to you.

"So tell me about yourself, Y/N."

"Not much to tell, honestly. I'm taking classes online for Graphic Design, I have another year before I have my degree. Outside of that, I work at the library and babysit on the side."

"Graphic Design, huh? I should probably take a few classes, I could sure use it a bit for work. What do you do for the library? You seem a little young to be shushing people and checking in returns."

"Thank you," you laugh "I actually run the story time center, read to kids a few times a week."

"That's sweet. Do you like it?"

"I do. I love seeing their faces when the fairy tales become real, and their imaginations take over."

You blushed when you realized Ted had been watching you with a dopey smile on his face.

"What do you do and your wife do?"

"She works in corporate for a management company. Long hours, but it brings in good money, and I work from home so it's not so bad. My jobs a little less important, I'm a producer."

"What do you produce?"

"I write and then film videos for kids. Songs, make animations with it. And then outside of that one of my friends and I have a podcast."

"What is it called? I'll have to check it out, they're all that keeps me awake when I'm up late finishing projects."

"It's stupid, really. We started it up with another friend of ours just for fun and we talk about bullshit. But it's called Chuckle Sandwich."

"Sound interesting, I'll have to check it out."

You turned your head to the sound of heels clicking across the tile. An attractive woman walked in, fastening an earring, her business ensemble looking more expensive than your car.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Carrie." She holds out a perfectly manicured hand.

"Y/N." you said, taking her hand to shake. "Ted tells me you work in management."

"Did he tell you to call him that? I'm sorry." She looked at Ted. "Honey, I've told you that's unprofessional. Mr. Nivision is fine, Y/N."

"Oh. Of course." You nod.

"Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat but we're running a bit late. "Theodore?" She says, walking out of the room.

"Right. That's my cue to leave. Um, emergency numbers on the fridge, you've got my number, but let me get you Carries, just in case." He says, writing on a hanging notepad. "The girls ate just before you got here, but there's leftovers in the fridge or snacks in the cabinet if they get hungry. Help yourself as well. Um... Bed by 9:00? Between you and me though, I don't usually get them to bed until later than that so you be the judge, I trust you. I think that's it." He says, looking around to see if anything would spark anything else. "Yeah, that's it."

Walking back in to the family room he leaned down to the twins.

"Okay babes, Mommy and I will be back later, but you might be asleep. You're gonna stay here with Y/N, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Yes, Daddy!"

Ted pulled them both in for a hug, blowing raspberries into both their cheeks.

"Love you to death." he says, standing. "Thanks again, and I'm sorry for the late notice."

"No worries! Have fun."

*************

A while later you were singing songs with the girls, and were currently only the alphabet.

"-E F G, H, I, J, K, LMNOP, Q-"

"That's my name." You looked at Penny where she was sitting at your feet and coloring.

"What was that, Penny?"

You said my name. Penelope."

"Kinda sounded like that, didn't it? Should we call you that now? LMNOP?" She gave the biggest smile you'd seen from her since you'd met her and nodded.

"Okay, sounds great." you laugh. Looking at the clock you noticed the time. "It's getting kind of late. Should we put on a movie before we go to bed?"

The girls had agreed vehemently and rushed to their room to change into their pajamas while you got a movie set up to play.

After the movie ended, both girls were nodding off against your sides, fighting the urge to fall asleep completely.

"Alright, come on guys. Bedtime." You said, picking them up and carrying them into their room.

Turning on the light you smiled at their nursery. The walls on either side matched each girl perfectly, even though you'd only spent a few hours with them. Tilly's wall was spattered in bright rainbow colors, wild and fun, while Penny's wall was a soft pink, tiny dots of white sprinkled like stars.

Helping them into their beds you tucked them in, walking to the door and starting to dim the lights before you heard a soft request for a bedtime song.

"A bedtime song?"

"Daddy sings." Tilly explained.

"Alright, lets see." you though before starting to quietly sing 'You Are My Sunshine', and by the time you were done both girls eyes were shut in a deep slumber.

Turning to the door to leave you jumped when you noticed Ted standing in the doorway.

"Shit- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's alright." You softly laughed, exiting the room.

"You have a wonderful voice." Ted said, walking you to the door.

"Oh. Thank you. How was dinner?"

"It was nice. It was better knowing the girls were home with someone who would take such good care of them."

"Good."

Ted handed you a folded wad of cash.

"Oh, Mr. Nivison, this is too much, I couldn't-" You started, counting out the stack of twenty dollar bills.

"Nonsense. If it makes you feel better you can consider it a retainer."

"Retainer?"

"Yes. The house looks wonderful, and I can tell you're good with kids, and I bet the girls got along great with you. If you'd like, we be happy if you'd be our new babysitter."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love to."

Ted smiled.

"That's great. Now, it's late and I'm sure you need to get home, so I'll let you go." He said, opening the door.

"Good night." you said, starting down the porch steps.

"Oh, and Y/N,"

You paused, turning back to face him.

Ted looked into the house behind him before looking back at you. "Call me Ted."

[vauxxy]

strangers

regulus black and remus lupin engage in some polite banter

1976, 2:45 AM

astronomy tower

as the end of the school year started approaching, regulus black began noticing the many changes happening at hogwarts.

for starters, the days lasted much longer than he liked, the sky only starting to darken around 6:30 PM.

the air became very wet as well- not warm, but not cold either. the clouds seemed to trap the warmth of the sun, composing the constantly humid weather that graced the school grounds.

finally, the people that he surrounded himself with began getting restless. constantly giddy and overexcited for summer, every conversation turned into plans to hang out over the school holidays.

“reg! you should come visit me and my family paris!” said rosier, who was sitting comfortably on a dark green couch in the slytherin common room. his limbs were lazily dangling off the side as his head rested on the worn down cushions.

regulus looked up from his textbook, meeting evan’s excited gaze.

“i’ll have to ask my mother,”

“why are you reading a potions textbook? let alone one from last year?” dorcas asked, her dress shoes tapping on the hardwood floor as she enters the room. she wore a dark red blouse with long, flowing sleeves and denim pants that flared out by her ankles.

regulus looked her up and down, one brow raised higher than the other as he leaned back in his chair.

“and why are you dressed like that?” he retorted. dorcas smiled, moving her arms rhythmically as her sleeves flowed around her.

“pandora and i are going to see a band,” dorcas shrugged, sitting down next to evan. he tilted his head backwards to meet dorcas’s eyes.

“why wasn’t i invited?” evan pouted, sitting up defensively. dorcas rolled her eyes, crossing one leg over the other.

“girls only.” she replied bluntly, ruffling evan’s bleach blonde hair.

by 12:00 pm, all of regulus’s friends had gone off to attend to their lousy attempts at rebellion or recreation. barty crouch jr was fooling around with a quirky little hufflepuff, evan rosier was getting stoned with a strange selection of people- all different ages and houses, and dorcas had taken pandora to a bar to watch a fleetwood mac cover band.

regulus would’ve rather taken a stroll over to the whomping willow than join in on any of their little endeavours (especially barty’s, obviously), so he decided to spend the afternoon alone again.

regulus black had began spending his nights in the astronomy tower at the beginning of his third year. he barley had any real friends, nor did he make any effort to gain some. despite his lack of initiative to form relationships, it seemed like one had whimsically fallen into his hands.

little 14-year-old regulus was annoyed at first when his older brother’s friend began coming up to the astronomy tower to chainsmoke and read shitty classic novels. remus lupin had the type of quiet energy that demanded solitude. he didn’t tell regulus to ‘go away��� but he sure heard it.

after 2 more nights of remus disturbing his peace, regulus spoke up.

“are there no other places on campus you can loiter around in?”

those few words turned into a few hundred, which turned into a 2-hour long conversation about the ethics of hogwarts as an institution. the conversation turned into a discussion, which turned into yawning and parting ways for the night, only to continue the very next day at the same time and place.

after a few weeks, remus stopped coming. regulus wondered why, but they had never talked about anything personal with one another. regulus didn’t know if he wanted to talk about personal matters with someone seemingly so close to his brother.

a month later, remus returned. this time, regulus didn’t hesitate to ask why he was back. why he wasn’t running around with those clowns he called friends. and remus answered.

“do you ever feel like there’s a weird distance between you and everyone else? and like, you don’t actually want it to be there, but you keep on like… making that distance?” remus asked, his voice tired, but his words fast.

regulus paused. “yeah.”

regulus was now 15 years old. the people that called him a friend were out partying, sleeping around, enjoying themselves- and here he was. back up in the astronomy tower for the first time in months.

he was sitting in a quiet corner, smoking on a cigarette he had stolen from the pocket of evan’s discarded puffer jacket. he flipped through the pages of his old potions textbook as the sound of footsteps echoed from the staircase.

“why are you reading a potions textbook from third year?” asked a husky voice, seemingly coming from the other side of the room.

regulus looked up, only to find a taller version of the boy he once knew. he walked over slowly, a newly formed limp stunting his pace. he was somehow even skinnier and much more pale despite the warmth of the early summer sun.

“just revising.” regulus replied bluntly. remus sat down next to him, leaning against the wall sloppily.

a few moments of silence passed, before regulus decided to speak up.

“we haven’t talked since april.” he stated. his voice was cold, but somewhat inquisitive. remus nodded, offering an affirmative smile.

“i’ve had less trouble sleeping, i suppose,”

remus pulled out a small metal box from his pant pocket. the act of opening it released a soft stench of tobacco and weed. he took out two cigarettes, before closing the tin and setting it down next to him.

regulus put out his first cigarette, taking the one remus had just offered him. after lighting both with his wand, remus took a inhale.

“your brother is a dickhead.” remus stated, letting the smoke exit his lungs.

“yeah, no shit,”

“i’m serious. he’s a full cunt.”

regulus looked at remus, his eyes curious, but his mouth too stubborn to give into his desire to know more.

remus turned around to face regulus as he noticed the look of intrigue in the younger boy’s eyes.

“did i ever tell you what happened on my birthday?” remus asked. regulus shook his head, letting copious amounts of smoke exit his mouth as he debated his response.

“no, you didn’t.”

remus looked down, smiling softly to himself. it wasn’t a smile full of fondness, but a smile that seemed to lovingly scold his past actions and feelings.

“i’m gay.” he said, slowly bringing his head up to look at regulus again. he rested the left side of his body against the wall as he waited for regulus to say something.

regulus’s voice was monotone, as if he didn’t really care rather than mind. it was apathetic, yet understanding. “okay,” he started.

“what does that have to do with your 16th birthday?”

remus took one last hit of his cigarette before putting it out on the wall.

“your brother kissed me.” he said bluntly. regulus nodded, urging him to continue.

“i had a thing for him, i guess. still do. but after that kiss, it all went back to normal, except it didn’t?”

remus rolled his eyes. “he was still constantly fooling around with random girls, but at the end of the day, he would come back to me.”

regulus was confused to say the least.

“for months we’ve been fucking around, pretending like everything’s normal- but i can’t help but feel so fucking angry at him.” remus said, his voice mellow.

“he’s very easy to be angry at.” regulus let out a dry laugh, putting out his cigarette and stuffing the bud in the corner of the wall.

“sirius- my brother, i mean…” regulus corrected himself. refusing to say sirius or james’ names seemed to be a strange expression of respect to each other- a promise of secrecy.

“my brother has a nasty habit of ignoring people like that. we would play card games with each other after he took beatings from my mother. you know, to get our minds off it.” regulus explained, looking to the side of the room as he spoke.

“but as we grew up, he got much colder. i’ve talked to him maybe three times this year. he acts like he doesn’t know who i am.”

remus listened intently, nodding in understanding.

“it’s funny- at family gatherings we still stick together. joke about our cousins while we hide in his room. but as soon as we come back to school, he sees me as nothing. another black family member to watch out for.”

regulus scoffed quietly, turning back to remus.

“i wish he knew you the way i do” remus said casually, lighting up another cigarette. “this would be much easier for the both of you.”

‘i wish he knew you the way i do’

those words lingered in regulus’ mind for a while. did remus know him? of course he did- but he didn’t see him- not the way sirius once did. he didn’t experience regulus- he didn’t talk to him outside of the astronomy tower.

but nonetheless, they were much closer than either of them had liked.

remus paused.

“you know he still loves you, right?” remus asked, looking into his eyes, only to meet an unnerving stare. unwavering in its coldness; its refusal to blink.

“of course he loves me. he’s my brother. but i don’t like it’s the type of love most people are familiar with,” regulus said.

remus tilted his head to the side. “how so?” he asked.

“you know how you love someone because you have to? like, you have to love your parents, even if they’re terrible.”

remus shook his head. “don’t have ‘em” he laughed pitifully. regulus smiled- a rare occurrence. “okay, okay- like… your caregiver?” he asked.

only then did remus nod in understanding. he thought of the coordinator at his boys home. she was an arse, but he still would visit her in the hospital if she got hit by a bus.

“i don’t love my brother like that. i don’t love him because he’s my brother and i have to. but, i also don’t love him as a person? like how you love the red head and her two little friends.”

remus pursed his lips. “so you just love him? not out of obligation or fondness, just cause?” he asked.

“not ‘just cause’. it’s involuntary, yet careful.”

regulus looked at remus, trying to gouge a sense of understanding from the other boy. a sense of understanding in which he received.

“i know exactly what you mean.”

two weeks passed and hogwarts was now empty. remus was couch surfing around wales with a few drug addicts and university burnouts, sneaking into bars and reading in messy rooms while his friends light up in front of him. he didn’t care though, as long as he wasn’t in the boy’s home.

regulus was wasting away his summer at his family home. his spare time was spent in front of his bedroom mirror, practicing polite smiles and agreeable gestures for the endless amount of dinner parties he was forced to attend.

regulus would hear yelling from down the hall as he stared at the mirror, forcing eye contact with himself.

he imagined himself as the voice from the hall, proud and stubborn. and as he looked in the mirror, he saw it.

he saw her.

when his brother knocked on his door in the middle of the night he was half asleep. he got up slowly and carefully. but when regulus finally mustered up the courage to open the door, there was nobody there.

regulus wondered if remus would understand what it was like to live so carefully. he sure didn’t act like it- running a muck around the school and such. but he would know better than to get up for a ghost, wouldn’t he?

or at least, he hoped he would.

it wasn’t until around october of that year that regulus talked to remus again. when regulus came to the astronomy tower for the first time since that night before summer break, remus had changed.

remus now knew what it was like to be more than ignored by sirius. he had been destroyed by him.

a/n: LOL i got like 4 reposts and a comment on that moonwater post and i felt like i JUST HAD to write u guys sumn. i haven’t proofread it bc i can’t be bothered, but i’m sure it’s somewhat comprehensible lol.

anyways!! i really hope i did the characters justice!! i might do another 2 parts for their talk abt the prank and christmas 1976 and for their first few meetings in regulus’s third year ^_^

also sorry if the timeline is messed up, i’m on the beginning of my third re-read and the last time i finished it was in march lol

have a merry christmas !!!

[robinismywifee]

Back to the Old House - Chapter 7:

September 9th, 2034

[ 4 days after last chapter]

Raines age: 16 years, 6 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months

CW: trouble with eating

Words: 1796

Masterlist

Raines POV:

“So me and Tommy are gonna head out to Joels place for dinner tonight,”

Maria started, I already rolled my eyes. She saw and sighed, placing her fork down, which made a small clanking noise from her glass plate.

"Look, I know you and.."

I watched Marias face as she thought for an extra second if she should say her name.

"Ellie.." she said slowly, watching my expression to see if it was too far or not, I stayed silent, and she continued, "Are not on the best terms.. i'm

not quite sure why or what happened at all, and i'm not sure if i'm allowed to ask you, so I won't, but she clearly-"

"—Can you just get to the fucking point already?"

She pressed her lips together, and nodded. "Right.. well, you're more then welcome to come with me and Tommy. And we would both really appreciate it if you did.." Maria finished

"Look kid, I have a feeling you're gonna be stuck with us for awhile and Joel means alot to the both of us, hes our family, and we might not be family with you, but you're damn near it, and we think it'd be best if you got along with that household, we ain't gonna force you to come along or nothin, but.. we'd love for you to come, even if you don't speak a single word"

Tommy explained his thoughts. I picked at the remainder of my eggs, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

After a moment of awkward silence and glances, I spoke up, "I'm gonna head to Jesses before patrol. Thanks for the food" I got out of my chair, grabbing my bag off the floor, swinging it over my shoulders and left the front door, accidentally slamming it shut from my anger.

I took a deep breath when I existed, feeling the chilly summer morning breeze.

I had woken up almost 3 hours before patrol started and couldnt fall back asleep, so i've been ready for patrol for 2 hours now and I dont leave for another hour. I know I told Maria I was gonna go to Jesses but do I really want to? I mean, I know he would be up by now..

I decided to slowly walk to his house, stalling on knocking on his door. As I walked, I kept on thinking of her. Its like I couldn't even control it, my mind just always fell back to her.

I had gone through the first week of school already, I went the second day to actually learn but kept on going because I was enjoying the art class and Miss Collins' classes.

Everyday I tried my best to ignore Ellie, I also never replied to her paper she passed me, the reason being, I had no idea why. I also didn't know which thing she was referring to, but my guess was that it was about me being nice to her out of the blue and then immediately leaving.

I had no clue why. I just did. It was like my body moved faster then my brain. I don't know why I followed after her or why I gave her my food. I had no idea.

Before I knew it, I was standing infront of Jesses door. I knocked lightly on it.

A minute passed and I heard jogging footsteps, then I heard something fall from the inside and a small- "ow!"

and then, the door opened. "Oh! Hey Raine, oh shoot— is it time to go already?" he asked frantically

"No- no, we still have about 45 minutes, I just.. came early since I had nothing else to do.."

"Oh! that's sick! Miss me already, huh?" Jesse said sarcastically, before he left back inside for a minute, yelling goodbye to his mother, and came back outside, shutting his door, now with his backpack.

"I was just about to head to tipsy bison, wanna come with?"

"Uh, yeah sure, but i'm not gonna eat- I just had breakfast" I quickly explained, he looked at me, a look I couldn't tell what it meant, he then sighed and started walking.

"Well.. suit yourself then" he mumbled, I followed to his side.

Over this week, me and Jesse have gotten alot closer, since anytime I was out I was with him; patrol and school.

It was only a 5 minute walk and we were at the food bar.

People greeted Jesse as usual, but the sound of someone greeting me caught me off guard, until I saw it was Dina and I immediately greeted her back.

"Come sit! I just got here and was waiting for Jesse to show, it's nice to see you with him Raine"

"Oh, thanks Dina.." I hummed, sitting beside Dina with Jesse across

Jesse ordered his food and so did Dina—

"Are you sure you don't want anything? I mean, you never eat lunch at school and I never see you eat breakfast?"

"Oh.. it's nothing, I just prefer to eat at Marias" I shrugged, Dina nodded, believing it.

"Fuck.. it's so freezing this morning.." i hummed to myself, feeling the hairs on my arms lift, and before I knew it, hands were placing a warm fabric around my shoulders. I looked over to see Dina, know not wearing a jacket, and the wool jacket she wore wrapped around me, ontop of my cold leather jacket.

"Oh- Dina, you dont have to-"

"No! Trust me it's fine! Keep it for the day, I was actually starting to sweat" she smiled sweatly

"A- are you sure? I mean, if we run into infected or maybe even people, I could easily stain it.."

"Trust me, I don't care, as long as your comfortable!"

I went to protest again but before I could Jesse and Dinas breakfast was being placed on the table.

I washed my hands of the dirt scraped onto them, and splashed my face with cold water, rubbing my eyes tiredly, turning off the fossett and patting my face dry with a towel.

I looked into the mirror and sighed.

Todays patrol was tiring. We only ran into one clicker, but we also ran into the clicker by both of us falling through the floor of a building and spending an hour on trying to get out.

My legs hurt from how I fell and I gained multiple new cuts and bruises. I had just spent an hour patching myself up and washing my body from the blood and dirt. I had even changed out of my dirty clothes and wore freshly washed ones. All I wanted to do was fall into bed and let my body rest, but I still had to give Dina her jacket back.

I was actually very thankful Dina had lended me her thick wool jacket, because the morning chill had ended up staying the same throughout all patrol and it still was chilly. Even if it was still summer, it was on the cusk of fall, and the autumn weather was starting to show.

I tied on my shoes, and slipped on my jacket, and had Dinas jacket in my arm. I left the empty house— since Maria and Tommy were both still out— and began to walk to Dinas house.

Thankfully, I knew were Dina lived from when we'd walk home from school, and I would see her enter her house.

It was closer to my house then Jesses house was, so it should be a short walk.

As I walked, I made sure to keep a careful eye for her house, alot of the homes in Jackson looked the same and blended together.

I silently cheered to myself when I recognized her house. I walked up to the door and softly knocked, hoping she was home.

I could hear voices from inside but they were from afar and very muffled, I couldn't hear what they were saying or who was saying it, but it sounded like two people breifly aurging.

I knocked again, unsure if the people inside heard me. It was silent for a minute before I heard footsteps, and then a way too familiar voice—

"Why the fuck are you making us get up Jess-"

The door opened and the voice matched the face. She stood with her arms crossed with an annoyed expression on her face, but when her eyes met mine, her face softened and reddened. Her mouth was opened slightly, from how she stopped talking mid sentence.

I could tell that my face was red from the heat flash I suddenly got, I stared into her eyes, my lips slightly parted aswell, and my eyes widened. We both stared at eachother, in a trance.

She was the first to break the eye contact. She seemed to have processed who she was staring at, and immediately looked to the ground, "Uh.." she awkwardly said..

"I.." I started, but felt my voice start to shake, I gulped and looked to the ground, trying to think of what to say, but it was hard when my brain was thinking a million other thoughts all at once.

"Uhm.." She said, still looking down at her feet.

"Wh- Where.. Dina.." I couldn't even make out a complete sentance from how nervous I felt, it felt like I was getting punched in the stomach and kicked in the eye.

"O- oh- right.. uh.. i- ill.. get.... get her" Ellie stuttered, and turned around, the door still half opened, I watched as she faded into the halls.

Why is Ellie at Dinas house?

A minute later, Dina came out. Her face was a bit red and she seemed embarrassed, "Hey- i'm really sorry about that.. we both thought you were Jesse.. uh, what- what did you need?" Dina explained,

"J- just.. wanted to.." I still couldn't complete a sentance, my voice was shakey and my face was burning red. I lifted up Dinas jacket I had in my hand.

"Oh! Right! Yeah- I should have remembered.. thank you.." Dina said, taking it out of my hand.

"Uh- Hey, i'm really sorry I didn't mean to- I- uh- also sorry for not telling you that we're friends with her.. we just didn't want you to.. get nervous or anything.."

Friends? We? So Jesse is too? Is that what Cat meant when she said 'everyone was gonna be there'? Her, Ellie, and Dina? Thats Jesses friend group? And he never fucking told me?

I nodded to Dina. "Kay.. i'm.. i'm gonna go now.." I quickly turned around and sped walked home, not looking back.

———

A/n:

this wasnt proof read, i didnt have time since i just got back to school so sorry if theres mistakes. please gimmie notes and comments and comment to be in taglist:

tags:

@amloury

[teenmomcentral]

Jenelle Evans‘ 14-year-old son Jace has been reported missing.

Jace— who grew up on Teen Mom 2— was listed as a runaway on Tuesday. The Brunswick County, North Carolina, Sherriff’s Office put out an alert out on its social media pages, urging anyone who sees Jace to call 911.

“BCSO Deputies Searching for Runaway Juvenile, Jace Evans,” a post on the BCSO Facebook page reads, adding that Jace was last seen leaving his school in Leland, North Carolina, around 2:45 p.m. EST on Tuesday.

TMZ broke the story, adding that they had contacted Jenelle’s mother, Barbara Evans for more information. As The Ashley previously reported, Jenelle finally regained custody of Jace from Barbara in March. Barbara had raised the boy since he was born, but after a years-long custody battle with Jenelle, agreed to give her custody of Jace. (As The Ashley previously reported, though, the decision was mainly due to the fact that Barbara could no longer handle Jace, according to The Ashley’s sources.)

TMZ reported that Barbara said she spoke to Jace on Monday night, and all appeared to be OK. (As The Ashley told you, things on The Land have been pretty terrible over the last week or so, with Jenelle and her husband David Eason fighting and taking their battle to social media.) 

Barb also claimed that she called Jenelle on Tuesday (before Jace was reported missing), but Jenelle didn’t want to talk to her.

In a statement to TMZ, Jenelle said that Jace only ran away because he got in trouble.

“As a boy mom, kids can act up and rebel as I’m sure the majority of us all once did as kids too. Jace, got in trouble at school, we decided to take his phone away and that’s when he decided to run off,” she told the site. “Jace is a good kid and we’re not dealing with anything that most families don’t deal with while raising children.

She also insisted that Jace taking off wasn’t due to her and David fighting on The Land in front of him.

“This has absolutely nothing to do with my situation with David, we do not argue in front of our children or fight in front of our kids,” Jenelle said.

“This is a teenage boy being a teenager mad that we decided to take his phone away.”

After Jace was located, David took to social media to insist that he did try to find the lad.

“Jace is fine, he has been found, everyone needs to calm down!” David wrote. “I was the first one looking for him so get off my case!” 

The Ashley’s sources tell her that this is not the first time Jace has left since moving in with Jenelle. There was at least one more instance, as well as several when he lived with Barbara.

The Ashley will update this story when more info is available. Stay tuned. 

UPDATE! David just posted a rant to Instagram regarding Jace.

"You want to come on here assuming all kinds of S**t about Jace… I’ve been out here running through the f**king woods for two-and-a-half hours trying to find him… I almost had a f**king heat stroke trying to find this kid. You know what they told me? ‘Go home, we have drones, we have helicopters, we have dogs, we have ATVs, dirt bikes, we’re gonna find him.’ They told me to go home and make sure he doesn’t walk in the door…

“I’m the first one that ran after his ass to try to find him…Don’t come on here trying to tell me what the fk you think is going on. Please. I do all the fking work around here, I take care of everything around here, and if you think I don’t just because of something someone might tell you when they’re mad, you’re f**king WRONG.

“And if you think you can assume some shit just because an article you seen because Barbara goes on the Internet saying something. She don’t even know what the fk she’s talking about,” David added. “You can’t fking take Barbara’s word for it, she’s selling articles for money. Gotta pay for your retirement somehow.”

[mintseesaw]

northeast monsoon

pairing: god!jungkook x goddess!reader genre: fantasy, smut, slight angst, soulmate!au word count: 3.7k warnings: mature content, unprotected sex, brief mentions of the character’s health conditions, cursed!reader, son of the deity jungkook // 18+ summary: Jungkook, not out of ordinary, decided to celebrate his 24th birthday in his favorite place on earth, the closest place to heaven—on a mountain summit. However, even before he reaches the highest peak of the mountain range, he was trapped, enthralled, and coincidentally found his true nature.

note: the idea occurred to me earlier while i was at work yesterday used jk’s birthday as an excuse to pursue it and ignore my 36433 wips and drabble requests; short, steamy and a literal filth bc it’s unedited

Jungkook was lost.

His birthday seems to carry the bad luck today. His very first misfortune in his two year experience of mountain hiking. The moment he stepped foot on the soil of mountain range marks the start of a weird feeling sitting at the pit of his something. That he refused to acknowledge  because nothing bad happened to him before.

When they visited the homes of the natives on the foothill of the mountain to pay respect as inhabitants of the ancestral domain, the chieftain’s storytelling of the mountain’s cursed guardian sounded incredulous. He didn’t take it seriously nor think of it as a warning. He didn’t understand why the indigenous leader felt the need to tell them a folklore causing a delay on their activity.

Amongst the group of civilian trekkers, he was the only one who skipped the supposed ritual of spitting to the soiled ground and drawing a cross on foot on the same spot before entering the premises passed the small village. It was said to reverse the effect of any potential supernatural force against them.

Approximately 45 minutes after they started their trail onto the summit, he caught a swarm of fireflies flocking on a trunk of a humongous tree, seemingly in its hundred years of existence or more. But it wasn’t the insects that prompted him to stop and admire the view. It was the rare glow surrounding the tree that did. In his great fascination, he even loudly shared his discovery to the group. Their disinterest to the majestic tree dismayed him. Are they blind or something? It’s not everyday that they get to admire such beauty. For a solid few minutes, he was left dazed, stunned to see a tree before his eyes just like the one he had seen recently in a fantasy drama where there existed witchcraft and wizardry.

He’s not dreaming, is he?

When he finally snapped out of his reverie, the group was no longer in sight, leaving him there standing alone. At least, there’s a trace of footprints he could use to follow their tracks.

In silence, Jungkook couldn’t help but think back of the past, and the last bit memory he remembers when he woke up in a hospital bed with no recollection of his identity.

Four years ago, he was met with a major car accident with its impact resulting to hundreds of stitches in his chest, the only hideous scar he obtained after he was said to be hospitalized for a month. He not only developed a heart condition but was also diagnosed with a retrograde amnesia. He believes that his inability to recall his past memory marked the start of his vivid dreams occurring every night. Still, he was lucky enough to have his body remain in the best condition despite the lasting emotional and physiological damages it left him.

The endless dreams of mountains and forests led him to discover his fondness in scenery and the constant sense of emptiness becoming difficult to ignore. His newly found obsession with nature was enough to convince himself to start trekking, particularly mountains. Strange enough, he found the solitary in mountain peaks, of the scenery, and the cold climate in summits.  He found a temporary peace in the closest place to heaven from the constant ache that each of his bizarre dreams left his heart bruising.

It was not only his dreams that he finds peculiar. Although his mother had reminded him numerous times that it was his adolescent self who developed a liking to tattoos, he didn’t know what occurred to him in his teens to consider inking his body with unrecognizable symbols that even with a brief searching in google couldn't provide him what the underlying significance each mark carries.

Few minutes later, he found himself stopping at the same spot where he had taken his time admiring the tree. He didn’t know how it happened when he was only following the remnants of the collective footpath on the ground. If he perceived the situation odd, he didn’t acknowledge it until the third time he came back on the same spot, same view.

The fact that he’s always has this great sense of remembering directions whether it be in the road or in mountains, makes the situation even weirder. For the nth time, he took a glance at his wristwatch. A groan resonated through the eerie silence in the midst of the forest. He’s been walking in circles for almost two hours now.

The group might have been halfway through the summit at this point. The trail takes about 4-5 hours and he’s far behind them now. With a heavy heart, he decided to return back to the foothill.

The sun is at its highest peak above the sky, amplifying the dryness of his mouth from the heat of noon. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to drink the remaining content in his flask.

The gust of wind brought by the monsoon is somehow mixing up his sense of direction. Some may find it strange, but he could feel the presence of wind oddly stronger than other human beings. Out of the ordinary, he could sense where the wind came from just by the mere blow of breeze passed his skin. Right now, he couldn’t put his extraordinary ability into good use because even with his attempt to go back down, he keeps returning to the same location.

Jungkook is lost. Somewhat, he’s trapped.

Now more than ever, he’s almost convinced some being invisible to the naked eye is playing him around. Jungkook lowered his rucksack on the ground, and started pacing back and forth as he tried to figure out how he’ll reverse the imaginary spell.

Even with the time passing by, the fireflies remained there, swimming around the trunk like they own it. If he’s trapped, someone or something might be responsible for this. Whether or not these stupid supernatural creatures are true, he needs to get out of here.

His foot stopped mid-step and fixated his glare at the old tree. What else would prove the peculiarity of the situation other than the mythical personified before his eyes.

“Come on, take back whatever spell you’ve casted on me. I’m not gonna destroy your home. This is an order, you devious creature.” Jungkook reprimands sarcastically as if the poor, ginormous tree can understand him in the human language.

There was nothing significantly remarkable about it if not only for the fairy dust-like glimmers surrounding it.

However, to his surprise, he suddenly hears the rustles of the leaves and cracks of branches echo through the stillness in the air as they pliantly bend over. He could feel the shiver run through his spine as he gathered what was happening to the tree. It is bending, its crown slightly crouched in front of him as if it was bowing down.

Jungkook staggers back in utter astonishment.

What the fuck is this sorcery? Is he dreaming?

He blinks furiously, trying to deduce the realness of the scene in front of him.

Soon after, he felt another surge of force-like brush of the wind against his skin, kindling tingles and goosebumps to appear on his skin. Dust swirls like a whirlpool in the air as weightless dead leaves harshly dance above the ground before they fall back down. To make things more incredulously mad, out of nowhere, a blinding form comes into sight near the trunk.

As its gleam dies down, the next thing his eyes have captured is the most enchanting being he has ever seen in his life.

A goddess.

She leans forward, her shimmering palm rubbing up and down on the rough texture of the trunk, as if the bewitching creature is consoling the seemingly submissive native species. Whether or not the goddess is upraising its spirit, he couldn’t be sure.

In quiet amazement, he watches the beauty just a few meters away from him while his presence remains hidden. Long silky hair in beautiful waves flowing with its end touching her lower back. It’s shade resembles that of the dead leaves with seemingly fresh petals and leaves decorated as accessories on her hair. Almost brandishing her as a forest goddess. With her side facing his front, Jungkook could clearly see the swell of her breasts with her thick locks keeping her peaks hidden like an enthusing mystery.

As if abiding by whatever the goddess had said, the crouched tree slowly returns back to its natural form. And just as the goddess turns her back at him, ready to vanish into the thin air, he scurried forward.

“Wait!” Jungkook shouts, hurriedly calling their attention despite hardly recovering from the peculiarity of the scene in front of him.

You only responded with a side glance, just enough to see him in your peripheral vision.

Jungkook took it as his cue to garner more of your attention, “You’re a goddess?” He says with his tone clearly filled in awe.

As if his naive question took you by surprise, you whirled around. When you did, it was like there was an invisible electrifying sensation that struck him the moment your eyes landed on him. The tremor of sparks immediately radiating in his body.

She’s such an exquisite sight, Jungkook gawked. Cting you as his example, none of the illustrations he’d seen on the internet had given justice just how beautiful goddesses are in real life. In real life! 

When you spoke for the first time since you appeared in his vision, he was quickly snapped out of daze.

“You can see me? How… you mortals do not have the ability to see us.” You say breathlessly, bewildered to have met the eyes of a mortal for the first time since time immemorial. No living mortal can and will see you, unless you have opted to be seen.

Jungkook’s mouth parted. You said no affirmation. Yet, the way you addressed him as a mortal only meant one thing.

“You’re really a goddess!” He exclaims, still stunned.

“Go back to the land. The fairies will guide you the way.” You said with a simple directness, having no intention to unravel the mystery of his identity and why he seemed to carry power in him. Just as you uttered those words, the fairies appeared from the crown of the tree.

“No, wait! I’m not gonna leave until you answer my questions.”

Your head shook and with firm persistence, you say, “I am no guardian of a mortal like you. Leave the mountain before another fairy casts a spell on you. If that happens, you will never return to your home.”

Jungkook held his arms out. “I’m not here to harm anyone or anything.”

As the wind continues to swirl around the two of you, the long locks of your hair resting over your chest continue to sway pliantly in the wind’s direction.

At some point, Jungkook caught a vaguely familiar mark decorated on your skin just below your shoulder blade. On the same spot of one of his marks which mirrors yours.

“I am the guardian of this shelter and supernatural beings that live here. I cannot fill your curiosity nor have the power to keep you safe against them.”

Jungkook could perfectly hear you, but his focus had zeroed in to your shoulder. To see the exact resemblance of his mark on yours is a different story. You’re wrong, definitely wrong because you are the answer to his dreams.

Jungkook suddenly peels off his waterproof jacket while dragging his feet toward your direction.

The swell of your breasts entice him almost too painfully that his cock twitches from the mere sight of your glowing skin in complete nudity. As if they were inviting his palms to touch them. And even with your orbs glinting with subtle surprise, your face remained expressionless.

Why, he finds it fascinating. You have bewitched him!

Your confusion only lasted for a couple seconds until the last layer of fabric was taken off of his upper body. But it was replaced by a thunder striking discovery, gasping as your eyes landed on the flesh-colored, slit-like scar on his chest similar to that of the Deity’s symbol. Lightning bolt.

Jungkook met your eyes, thinking you’ve already recognized the identical marking on his skin.

When he parts his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.

“You’re not a mortal.” You revealed, still astounded.

“W-What?” Jungkook stopped in his tracks.

It couldn’t possibly be. The children of the Supreme Deity are no mortals. The God of the sea, the Ruler of the stars and moon, the Owner of the soon, the twin Gods of love and beauty, the Prince of the earth and the deity’s successor, and the missing guardian of the wind have no mortal blood. That you’re certain of. But the missing god... does it mean he’s the missing guardian of the wind?

Your gaze sifts through the generous amount of inks on his arms where the secrets of his power lie beneath the layer of the markings. The God of love have revealed this to you once several years when you dared question the reason why his body is decorated of inks, unlike other gods you have seen.

When your eyes shifted upward to his shoulder blade, you felt your heart tightens in an almost unbearable grip for the first time since the Deity has cursed you.

“Soulmate,” you reveal for the second time.

Jungkook’s eyes went round. “S-Soulmate?” He stutters.

You reach out and touch the ink of your bond on his skin. And just like that, Jungkook visibly shudders at the minimal contact.

Your eyes glossy from moisture. “I’ve been waiting for you.” You confessed.

He took one bold step forward, cupping your elegant face in his palms.

“Heavens, you’re so beautiful. How could I possibly believe that I’m rewarded with a soulmate like you? Tell me, I’m not dreaming.” He says with wonder glinting in his eyes.

He inches his face closer until your noses are touching. “If I only knew you’re waiting for me, I should��ve come here sooner when I began having those weird dreams. Fuck, let me kiss you, princess.” He groans, unable to wrap his head around with the revelation. He still has yet to ask what you meant when you said he’s not a mortal, but right now, he doesn’t care what his true identity is.

He needs to taste you.

And so he did, capturing your mouth in a flash, and taking your breath away as he pushes his tongue into the caverns of your mouth.

“So sweet,” he murmurs against your mouth. “You taste so sweet, princess.”

But the moment was cut short as he felt a searing pain in his chest. He jerks back as his body contorts in agony.

Jungkook hisses as the pain all too quickly rushes in his blood, the sensation numbing his entire body. With his eyes clenched tightly shut, he failed to witness the glow beginning to exude from each ink on his arms, the most vibrant glimmer coming from the mark on his chest that symbolizes his birthright.

His power is trying to rouse back through his mortal senses. Your glimmering fingers cautiously graze the bond on his skin, exploring the effect of your touch to him. 

The tingles that radiate through his veins left him whimpering and wanting more, more of it to distract him from the unbearable ache.

“Please touch me…” He writhes, sharply drawing a breath in and out.

You lower your head and let your mouth touch the bond. A ripple of tingles slither through him almost instantly, involuntarily making him shiver from the newfound sensation. He could feel the rush of blood going straight to his cock inside his pants. He needs more.

As if you heard his silent pleas, your tongue darts out of your mouth, swirling around the spot to soothe his aches. Jungkook’s hands curl over your back, closing the distance between your bodies, leaving no way for him to not feel your breasts on his chest. In daze, he looked heavenward, mouth parted back as gasps proceeded to stumble out of his mouth deliriously. With the pain drowned by the pleasure that your sensual licks carry, he tears your mouth off of his skin just to crash his mouth to yours in a searing kiss.

He lets his instincts rule him out, and there’s one thing he wants more than anything else than to permanently mark your body his, to seal the bond that will eternally link your souls together.

“I need you so much, Princess. Tell me you want this, too. Otherwise I’ll leave and will never bother you, again.” He says in a whisper against the corner of your mouth.

The harmless threat of his words stirs alarm in you, giving him the answer he wants to hear almost instantaneously. “I’m yours, please have me. Do as you wish to my body.”

He groans, loving the way you call him yours. “Jungkook,” he whispers against the plump skin of your glowing cheek, “Say it. Say my name, Princess.” He demands softly.

“Jungkook,” you utter breathlessly.

His chest vibrated as the growl rang through the emptiness of the forest. “Fuck, you’re so perfect, my goddess.”

Jungkook sweeps you off in his arms, and with a few, calculated steps, he laid you over his thrown jacket on the ground. Another groan tears out of him just as he parted your legs, with your bare, leaking center exposed right before his hooded eyes.

Unceremoniously, he braced himself on top of you, sucking the raven mark on your skin. His fully aroused member is freed with a pop of his button and a one forceful pull of the waistband of his trousers.

He wasted no more passing second and impulsively align the red tip of his mad cock on your entrance. With a calculated thrust of his hips, he sinks his member to your warm tightness, releasing a heavy sigh in relief as the heat of your hole equally envelops all throughout his body despite the chills brought by the gust of the wind.

Jungkook catches one of your peaks with his mouth as you get lost to the heat of the intimacy. He didn’t know if goddesses such as his enchanting soulmate can conceive like mortals do or if there are other methods to reproduce but it’s never a waste of his fluid to try and test the theory. After all, if your words bear truth, he may not be a human like what he actually thought he was.

Your heavenly mewls coax him to penetrate in you deeper, until your cries have intensified and your body writhes helplessly beneath him.

With each roll of his hips colliding against your pelvis, your delightful cries have become more profound, unrestrained, enough to flare warmth right straight to his abdomen. Jungkook rests his forehead just below your temple, murmuring sweet confessions to you, the owner of his soul and inevitably soon, his heart.

He guided your legs around his waist, giving him the access to ruthlessly pound into you deeper. And then something snaps out from him.

All the gentleness of his movements have evolved into something more carnal—feral, manifesting the strength of his true nature.

God of the wind, son of the Supreme Deity. The longer his body connects with your immortal form, the luminescence emitting on his skin becoming more vivid.

“Jungkook!” Another scream tears out of you. Tears cascading from your eyes from both pain and pleasure.

With his godly powers spurring during the intimate joining of your bodies, his strength turns more powerful that no human would possibly ever survive from. You could never match the godliness of a deity’s son, but your supernatural strength was able to neutralize the surge of his energy and entwines the intensity with yours.

The God of the wind continues to rock you closer and closer to the end, with the thought of his future with you, you carrying his children, you and no one else.

He senses the buildup tension in your stomach with your head tossing restlessly from side to side.

And in a suck of your bond with his mouth and a flick of your bud in your center, you exploded so powerfully around his cock. Jungkook chases his end while the rush of your euphoria continues to spark in your veins, giving your body an exceptional glow.

He reaches the peak of pleasure with an animalistic growl reverberating on his chest, locking your hips immobile to make sure your walls greedily take in every drop of his cum. He’d want to breed you with his children.

“My sweet goddess, you’re amazing.” He praises, nuzzling on the thick, wavy locks of your hair.

Jungkook didn’t miss the squeeze of your palm on his waist. He let your wandering hands trace the length of his body. But he pulls away when you spoke.

“Will you leave me after this?” There is sadness hinted at the tone of your voice.

He tilted your chin up with his fingers, studying your features. “Of course not, how can you say that?”

You smile weakly, the grief dancing in your eyes making his chest tightens. “I’m not as powerful as you are. You are the son of the deity, you can… reject our bond and choose any goddess as you wish. Whereas, I only have one eternal soulmate and that’s you. But…”

Even with the truth unraveling right before him, he could only focus on your grief. Why is someone as perfect as you hold so much moroseness in your heart?

“But?”

“This mountain is my world. I’m eternally cursed to guard this shelter.” Your lips quiver in fear. His thumb grazes your lower lip as his arm tightens over your back. The tale told by the chieftain crosses his mind. The cursed guardian is you.

“Oh princess, do you think anything else will convince me to live without you in my life? I’ll be wherever you need me to be. Goddess or not, I will never let you out of my sight forever.” He vows, sealing the promise of eternity with a power-clashing kiss.

mintseesaw © 2020

[superbabetotherescue]

Thanks, Brucie-Bruce Wayne x Reader

Word Count: 1840

Summary: You reminisce on your childhood with your best friend

Warnings: some violence, none really described in detail except reader getting punched in the face (as an alternative to getting teeth pulled), do teeth need their own warning bc they might, probably swearing but idk, kinda sad but don’t worry it’s fluffy, Bruce is a lil bitch but isn’t that kinda par for the course?

A/N: Once again this is just an old oneshot I have that I like a weird amount for no reason. You can read it as platonic or romantic it’s up to you idk but I’m lowkey thinking of making it into a series as platonic best friends so idk. I mean you’re reading it if you want it to be romantic that’s fine lmao I don’t care

Growing up one of Gotham’s elite may be a charmed life, but that didn’t mean that it was without its faults. You had spent your time being ignored by your parents, and your best friend, Bruce Wayne, became an orphan during a back alley robbery when the two of you were kids.

Or at least, former best friend.

In truth, you hadn’t seen Bruce in a while.

Well, you saw him constantly on the news and in the papers and just existing in Gotham in general, but you never got to see him face to face anymore.

Not for lack of trying, either. You sat down one night, the fifth time that Bruce had blown you off to meet for dinner in the past month, and pulled out your old photo album.

There was your fifth birthday party, a year or two after you had met Bruce in mega rich kid preschool, and there the two of you were, sharing a chair and staring at your huge birthday cake.

And the next picture, your favorite, the two of you covered in said birthday cake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Brucie,” You had cried,  whispering to him frantically, “Brucie, I got frosting on my dress!”

You were wearing a frilly pink dress that your mother had forced upon you, and in a moment of excitement you had leaned forward a little too far, and now the pale buttercream frosting covered your bodice.

“Uh oh,” Bruce breathed out slowly, adjusting his tie, pink to match your dress, and looking down at his own tiny three piece suit.

You were panicking, breathing heavily, “My mom is gonna be so mad!”

With a quick tug to your pigtails, Bruce shook his head, “I got this, Y/N.”

He reached forward and scooped a large chunk of the cake out, turning to you and smashing it against your chest quickly.

“Ah!” You jumped backwards, “Bruce!”

“Come on, hit me back,” Bruce hissed, grabbing another handful of cake and smushing it into your face.

As his plan dawned on you, you nodded, getting your own chunk of cake and throwing it at him, laughing delightedly as it landed in his hair.

“Bruce!” Mrs. Wayne scolded, running forward and crouching next to her son, who was currently trying to wrestle you, “You’re such a mess. Ms. Y/L/N, I’m so sorry for my son’s behavior!”

Your mother merely shook her head, smiling pleasantly, “Oh please, don’t worry about it, Martha. Those two are always getting into trouble.”

Victory!

You leaned over to your best friend with a wide grin, wrapping him in a tight hug, “Thanks, Brucie!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flipping a few pages, you chuckled at what you saw.

Your face and Bruce’s fist matching in bloodiness, and a huge gap where your teeth were missing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were twelve years old, and you had five loose teeth. Your last five baby teeth. All in a row next to each other.

And, like most twelve year olds, you had a healthy fear of the dentist.

“They want me to go to the dentist tomorrow to get the teeth pulled!” You complained to Bruce, the two of you laying in his living room under the guise of studying.

He shrugged, “You just have to get them out before the dentist, right? Just keep wiggling.”

“I’ve been wiggling!” You sat up, shaking your head, “It’s not working. I need a new approach.  Maybe Alfred can make something sticky for me to eat and the teeth will get stuck in it. Like that toffee your-”

You froze, not looking at Bruce anymore.

His hand touched yours gently, and you turned to see a small, sad smile on his face, “Like the toffee my father used to make at Christmas? That would be good. But Alfred’s working on something, I think.”

Nodding, you hmm’d quietly to yourself for a moment, “I just don’t know what to do. I can’t let the dentist pull my teeth. I just can’t do it, Brucie.”

“Don’t call me Brucie,” He scowled, but you knew he didn’t really care.

You sat in comfortable silence for a while, pushing your teeth back and forth with your tongue as the two of you thought.

“I have an idea,” Bruce stood, extending his hand out to you, “But it’s a little unorthodox.”

If he hadn’t been offering to help you, you would’ve rolled your eyes at the way he spoke.

You rose next to him, nodding, “Anything! Anything that keeps me out of the dentist’s chair.”

He took a breath, deep, slow, thoughtful. His hand reached out towards your face, thumb stroking your lips, palm cupping your jaw and cheek.

What was he doing?

And then he reared his fist back, and punched you in the face.

It hurt, that was for certain, but it was well concentrated in one place, and you coughed as you choked on the teeth, spitting them into your hand.

“There’s only four,” You frowned, counting them quickly.

“Sorry about that, Y/N,” He held his fist back out, and you saw the fifth tooth embedded in his knuckle, “You can have it back.”

With a chuckle you plucked the tooth out and pulled him into a hug, “Thanks, Brucie!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfred had a field day with that one, you remembered, but it was still better than going to the dentist.

With a few more flicks of pages, you felt your heart catch in your throat.

Prom night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:30.

Your date was supposed to come meet you at Wayne Manor at 5:30 so that you could go out with Bruce and his pretty blonde arm candy.

And now it was 6:45, and he still wasn’t there.

You’d been pacing the parlor of the Manor for two hours. Bruce and his date kept disappearing to make out in various rooms, and Alfred had stopped standing at the front door and had instead begun to busy himself in the kitchen.

And you were crying.

“Shit,” You hissed, wiping a tiny smear of eyeliner out from under your eye.

You weren’t going to cry over him. Especially not after you’d spent three hours on your makeup. You couldn’t do it.

“I don’t understand why we can’t just leave her,” You heard The Blonde complain to Bruce in the next room over, “She’s totally bringing down the mood.”

“Hey, back off,” Bruce sighed, “She’s my best friend. I’m not leaving her all alone on prom night. Maybe she can just come out with us.“

“I’m not spending my prom night with some loser who got stood up by her own date.”

You bit your lip, swallowing back a sob and then speaking loudly enough for them to know they were meant to hear you, “Hey, Bruce? I think I’m just gonna go, okay? Sorry for holding you guys up.”

“Wait,” Bruce opened the door to the closet he and his date were in, running a hand through his hair, “Y/N, don’t go.”

The Blonde gasped indignantly, and you shook your head, “No, seriously Bruce, don’t worry about it. I’m just-”

“Don’t leave, Y/N,” He said again, and the solidness of his words, the complete authority in how he said it, was enough to freeze you, “I’m taking you to prom. You can’t leave me.”

What?

“What?” The Blonde shrieked, stomping her heel on the ground, “You’re not taking her, you’re taking me!”

Bruce gave her a rather pleasant smile, “Actually, I’m not. I think you’re a stone cold bitch and if I look at you for any longer than fifteen more seconds, I think I’ll vomit. Now get out of my house,” And with that, waving a dismissive hand at her, he turned to you and grinned, “Now, Miss Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honor of being my date to prom?”

A burst of energy running through you, you sprang forward and wrapped him up in a hug, “Absolutely. Thanks, Brucie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing your photo album, you sighed.

It felt like just yesterday in so many ways, and yet a million years ago.

What had happened between you two? What had you done to drive him away? Maybe a walk would clear your head.

You grabbed your keys and left, walking the streets of Gotham and thinking of your younger days.

There was a playground where you and Bruce would sometimes sneak off to play, halfway between both of your houses. It was where you had taught him how to throw a punch when you were six, where he had taught you how to cartwheel when you were eight, and where you two had shared your first kiss when you were ten.

You laughed at that memory too, wishing you had a picture in your album of that day, when the two of you had decided to be each other’s first kiss just so you’d know what you were getting yourselves into.

You’d sat on top of the monkey bars, staring into each other’s eyes as you came to your solemn decision, and leaned forward to give each other the briefest of pecks on the lips. And then you’d both fallen off the monkey bars, wiping your mouths and gagging dramatically.

Standing by those monkey bars, you ran your hands down the side with a smile.

And then you felt the cold barrel of a gun press into the back of your neck.

“Give me all your money, and get on your knees,” A dark voice growled.

Crap.

How could you let yourself be taken completely by surprise, in Gotham of all places?

Shaking, you tried to speak, your voice catching in your throat, “I… I don’t…”

“Hey!” A familiar voice sounded through the air, cutting you off, “Back off!”

You felt the  rounded metal leave your skin and let out a sigh of relief.

Spinning on your heel, you watched as your attacker, a large man with a ski mask pulled over his face, so cliche, got the crap beaten out of him by…

“Batman?” You gasped.

Of course!

Batman wrapped an arm around you, scoffing at the thug on the ground, and shot a grappling hook into the air.

As you felt yourself fly your head spun, trying to wrap your mind around everything.

So this was why he kept standing you up. Why he always came up with some flimsy excuse. He couldn’t just tell you he was the Batman, and besides, the mystery of it all was surely an ego thing for him.

You landed outside your house a moment later, the dark suit encompassing Batman just intimidating enough for you to almost take a step back as he rumbled, “You should be more careful. Especially at night.”

But you couldn’t take his warning seriously.

Your best friend wasn’t avoiding you, he didn’t hate you, he just had a secret!

You were too ecstatic to pay his advice any mind.

And so you simply wrapped him in a hug, your arms erupting into goosebumps against the cold armor that he wore, “Thanks, Brucie.”

[moon-light-jukebox]

“All you have to do is ask” Chapter 5 - [Reid x Reader]

previous chapter // series index // next chapter 

Summary: The team has a case that takes them to Illinois. Our favorite boy wonder gets jealous and challenges Reader. So, she decides to show him who is really in charge.

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female Reader)

Word Count: 5.7k for Chapter 5

Content Warning: Here we go. The team has a case, so talk about m*rder, the usual criminal minds stuff. Jealousy. BDSM. Femdom. Degradation. Slapping. Spitting. Face sitting. Face fucking. Vaginal fingering. And I think that’s it.

A/n: In celebration of my 1 week of writing again, and all the lovely support I’ve gotten, I’m giving you chapter 5 a day early. Chapter 6 is still scheduled for Saturday. (Mostly because I haven’t written it all yet.) Chapter 5 is my favorite so far. I hope you love it as much as I do...because things only escalate in chapter 6. 😇 Some names on my tag list still aren’t working. I’m sorry! 

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized text are Reader’s thoughts.

-- Chapter 5: “Are you jealous, Doctor?” –

I don’t resent my job, I repeated mentally for the thousandth time. I don’t resent my job. I am not upset. I am happy to be here to help people in need. I didn't even sound very convincing in my own mind. I had known it was too good to be true. I finally had Dr. Reid right where I wanted him…when both of our phones chimed with the same text message. "Avengers, ASSEMBLE.” But it’s fine that we’re sitting on the jet at 10 pm headed to the Midwest. Keep telling yourself that, y/n. Serial killers were such cock blocks.

The ding from the computer on the small table signaled Garcia's digital arrival. "Hello, my loves!" Her sunshine personality would not be dampened by our sleepy grumbles. Or sexually frustrated grumbles, in my case; and from the way Dr. Reid kept sneaking glances at me, I suspected his too.

“What do we know so far?” Hotch asked, cutting right to business. If he was tired, he certainly didn't show it. I'm still not even sure if he's human.  

“The Illinois state police say that our 5th victim is named Sarah Gossman. She was a 32-year-old middle school teacher. Reported missing by her husband, Ralph, two days ago. Locals didn’t realize she was connected to the other victims until her body was found 2 hours ago.”

Hotch nodded, scanning the open file in front of him. “How were they able to connect them, Penelope?” David Rossi, the grandfather of the BAU questioned.

Garcia cringed. “They found the same wound on her shoulder blade. A square of her skin was missing.”

“It’s an interesting signature,” Spencer interjected. “The edges look jagged. Almost like the blade was serrated.”

“That’s what the M.E.’s thought too.”

“Babygirl, do they know if it’s the same knife that was used in the other murders?”

For a moment all that was heard was the clicking of her keys. “That is the suspicion, my beautiful chocolate sculpture of perfection.” I snorted at that one; every once in a while, their flirting quips got me. “They need the knife to be sure.”

"Thanks, Garcia," Hotch said before ending the video call. “Alright, if this unsub holds to pattern, he is going to take his next victim before 10 am tomorrow morning.”

“We might not be able to stop it,” Prentiss said. “But we can get her back. He keeps them for at least 36 hours.”

Hotch nodded. “Get some sleep if you can; it’s gonna be a long night.”

--

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder; my fear evaporating when I turned and saw it was just JJ. “Hey,” she said softly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I said with a yawn that I couldn’t muffle. “I just feel like I’m stuck in a swamp, you know?” She nodded. “How he’s choosing them will be how we find him. How we find her.”

True to pattern, the unsub took his next victim the following morning after the body of Sarah Gossman was found. Alicia Sheldon, 31, was reported missing by her mother just after 10 am this morning. We had no proof that she was with our unsub outside of the profile, but we all knew that the clock was ticking if we wanted to bring her home alive.  

JJ nodded, reading over my shoulder. “Narrowing down when can help too. Any luck?”

“Not really,” I sighed, closing my eyes. “I don’t think he does it at night, though. Garcia was able to see the activity for Alicia’s phone before she was taken. She replied to a text message at 4:45 am this morning.”

“Jesus Christ, that’s early.”

“What’s early?” Emily Prentiss asked as she walked into the conference room, Derek following after her.

“4:45 am is early,” I supplied. “Alicia replied to a text at that time.”

"Do we know if it was her?" That voice came from someone I hadn't laid eyes on yet. He must have followed Derek and Prentiss in. Dr. Reid was staring at me intently, his shirt wrinkled, glassed perched on the bridge of his nose. Even like this, he was so pretty it almost hurt to look at him. “Could the unsub have answered the text message to throw off suspicion?”

“I don’t think so, Doc.” I pointed at the evidence board where her most recent text messages and emails had been printed and tacked up. “Her text seemed personal. Not too much detail. It was sent to her best friend; unless the unsub was stalking her, there isn’t a way he would know that.”

Spencer nodded, walking around the table until he came to rest in front of the board. “Why would she be up so early…” His posture stiffened. What do you have, baby? What do you see? He turned and hit the phone that was in the center of the table.

“Speak and be heard.”

“Garcia, can we determine what time the last digital activity any of the women had was? We need to determine if they were all taken in the early morning hours.”

Morgan commented, “What are you thinking, Kid?”

Spencer didn’t answer, Garica spoke first. “Victim one and three are a no go; but victims 2 and 4 both had some digital dealings before 5 am the days they were reported missing, but they were all still at home according to the GPS on their phones.”

"Again, I say, Jesus, that's early."

I nodded at JJ. “Right. Who wakes up that early?”

“Someone with a strict routine,” Spencer said, his eyes never straying from the paper in front of him. “Garcia, did all of the victims have gym memberships?”

“Yeah, but to different gyms.”

Reid looked like he had just won the lottery. “What if all the women were on their way to the gym when he grabbed them? They all look athletic but have hectic schedules; it might be the only time they can fit it in. It’s still dark, but it’s technically morning. The women might feel safer. We didn't connect it right away because victims 2, 3, and 4 lived alone, no one knew their routines. He lies in wait and then grabs them, stuffing them into their own cars and driving off.” He was speaking rapidly at this point. “That could be why no one has found their cars yet. He has them.”

“Oh shit,” I muttered. “We need to see if the gyms have outside cameras.”

“Already on it, crimefighters.”

--

The unsub had left his car in parking lots adjacent to the gyms where the women were abducted for almost 2 days each time.

He thought he was smart; Spencer Reid was smarter.

“Hey,” a voice called from behind me. I turned to come face to face with a local deputy. He was a bit taller than me, stocky build, blonde hair that was cropped close to his scalp. “Good work out there today, Agent.”

“Thanks. You too, Deputy.” I turned, continuing to pack up my files. I was ready to go to the hotel and get some fucking sleep. Our jet was set to head out at 8 am the following morning. I’d gotten some sleep Saturday night; the team had gone back to the hotel in shifts while we continued searching for the unsub. But now it was Sunday afternoon and the exhaustion was starting to wear on me.

He cleared his throat, wanting my full attention again. “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go for a drink?” Oh no.

I smiled at him, trying to be polite. “Oh, thanks for the offer but I’m really tired and we fly out early tomorrow.”

Deputy Douche didn’t like that one bit. He stepped forward, placing a hand on my upper arm. “Well, it doesn’t have to be a drink,” his smirk made my lips want to curl up in a snarl. “I can meet you back at your hotel and we can break in that bed together.”

Oh gross. I jerked my arm out of his grip. “No, thanks.” I turned my back to him.

He looked miffed but had the sense to not make a grab for me again. I felt his fingers brush over the end of my hair as he leaned in. “Let me know if you change your mind,” he whispered. He slid a piece of paper on the desk before he turned and finally left me alone.

Gross. I threw the paper in the trash.

My attention was so focused on finishing up so I could escape before Deputy Douche came back that I didn’t notice Spencer watching me from across the precinct with a deep frown on his pretty face.

--

I was unbuttoning my shirt when I heard a firm knock on my hotel room door. “Come the fuck on,” I whined. Leaving the two buttons undone I went to the door, expecting to see Hotch, given how sharp that knock was. It wasn’t Hotch. It was my boy looking angrier than I’d ever seen him.

He shoved through the doorway, making his way into my room. Luckily, we all had separate rooms this time. “Well, come on in,” I muttered before I shut the door.

Spencer was fuming. “What the fuck was that?”

I blinked. “What the fuck was what?”

His hands balled into fists at his side. “At the police station. With that Deputy.”

Maybe it was how tired I was, but none of this was clicking. “Deputy Douche? You saw that?”

“Yeah, I fucking saw that,” he scoffed. “I saw him touching you. Flirting with you.”

“Right.” Right?

Wrong, apparently, because that did nothing to dampen his anger. “Why did you let him touch you?”

It clicked then, right at that exact moment I saw what was beneath his anger.  “Spencer…are you jealous?" I knew it wasn't the best idea to laugh but I really couldn't help it. The idea was so ludicrous to me. Morgan didn't call Spencer 'Pretty Boy' for no reason. On top of being one of the most brilliant people in the world, he was also the most gorgeous person I had ever seen. His bone structure alone was enough to make most women do a double-take. The thought that I would choose to spend my evening with the Deputy…over Dr. Spencer Reid? Yeah, no.

His cheeks burned pink, but he held his ground. “You said we were monogamous.”

Oh, hold up. I barked out a laugh. “No,” I corrected. “I said we could talk about monogamy in our dynamic if you wanted to continue." I felt my anger rise so quickly. "You have a fucking eidetic memory, baby. You know what I said.” Plus, I can’t control who flirts with me, dickbag, I thought, choosing not to say it out loud.

His anger matched mine. “I thought it was understood!”

“Nothing is understood until we talk about it, Doc.”

“Don’t call me that, not right now.”

Bad move, baby. “Oh, so you think you give the orders, Doc?” I made sure to put a lot of emphasis on the last letter in an attempt to rile him up further.

It worked because no sooner had the words left my mouth than his body slammed into mine. His mouth sealed over my lips in an angry kiss, his tongue demanding entry to my mouth, his hands tangled in my hair, holding me to him.

I was so lost for a moment; I hadn’t felt this in so long. For years my relationships were in perfect control, nothing unexpected. Who knew Dr. Reid would be the one that broke that pattern?

I hope you’re ready for this. My right hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head, tugging hard. His mouth broke away from mine with a yelp, but my left hand came up to hold his face, forcing his lips to pucker. “What do you think you’re doing?”

He looked scared for just a moment. Come on, baby. You can do it. Enlightenment washed over his face as he whimpered out, “I’m sorry.”

I tugged his hair again, only this time he moaned softly at the sensation. “You’re sorry what?”

“I-I’m sorry, Miss.” He licked his lips, looking more unsure than scared now.

Despite how fast my heart was beating, and how blown his pupils were, I couldn’t move forward until he understood. Spencer needed to understand the rules of a situation to feel comfortable. “We don’t have to do this, baby,” my voice was a whisper; somehow my serious tone didn’t manage to break the tension that hung around us.

“I want to,” his voice was hushed, urgent. “I trust you, y/n. And I feel so…I don’t know what this feeling is.”

I rubbed my thumb over his cheek, brushing over his bottom lip. “I know, sweet boy. I’ve got you.” I pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Green, yellow, and red,” I said knowing he’d understand what I meant. “There’s no shame here, pretty boy. I will not be upset with you if you need to use a safe word. It doesn’t mean our relationship ends, just this scene.” He nodded quickly. “I need your words, baby.”

“Yes Miss,” his voice was breathy, but his eyes were steady.

I smirked at him. “Good boy.” My hand tightened in his hair. “You’ll be a good boy for me, won’t you Dr. Reid?”

“Y-yes Miss.” I had guessed that the honorific would be a turn on for him, and judging by the whimper that followed his words, it looks like I was right.

“Take your clothes off and lay down in the center of the bed,” I released him, backing away to put as much space between us as I could. “Wait for me. You’re not allowed to touch yourself.” Honey brown eyes met mine, he wasn’t confused anymore. All that I saw reflecting in those eyes was desire.

I walked around him, never turning to look at him, and I headed into the bathroom. I finished taking off my shirt. I ran a brush through my hair. I did any tiny little task I could think of; I wanted him to wait.

The thing about BDSM dynamics that most people don’t understand is that no relationship is the same. The punishments that made one submissive tremble wouldn’t be effective on another. Anticipation would make Spencer squirm; I was sure of it. I had given Dr. Reid a lot of thought since our first conversation. I needed to understand what desires drove him if I was going to be able to bring him to the heights I wanted to.

Looking in the mirror, I puffed out a big breath. Truth be told, part of me being in the bathroom was to build anticipation for Spencer…but, part of it was because I was afraid. Even before tonight I had decided that my nervous boy deserved more than I gave the average sub. I cared about all my submissives to a point but, Dr. Spencer Reid was different. Maybe it’s because he had already held my life in his hands for almost a year; that made it easier…hell, it made it possible to trust him with this.

Squaring my shoulders, I turned and walked out of the bathroom. The main room was lit only by a lamp on the bedside table, covering our little world in a soft glow. I stalked slowly towards the bed, my eyes dragging up, up, up, until I saw him. He had followed my directions; I realized this was the first time I had ever seen him completely naked. He was beautiful, so beautiful. He wasn’t as scrawny as he looked to be with his clothes on. His body was covered in lean, toned muscles. He had no hair on his chest, giving him a slightly delicate appearance in my eyes; I wanted to mark that chest with scratches from my nails and bruises from my mouth. His cock laid against his thigh, half hard already. Like the good boy, I knew him to be, his arms were at his side, hands balled into tight fists.

I reached for the button of my pants, undoing them slowly, my eyes never left Spencer’s. Once my pants were off, leaving me in just my bra and panties, I placed a knee on the bed. I was careful not to touch him while I crawled up the bed to kneel beside him. Spencer's eyes bounced all over my body, his hands clenched and relaxing. My boy didn’t know what was to come and waiting for it was agonizing.

I reached out my hand to him, allowing my fingers to barely brush his arm. I trailed them up then down again and again. “Tell me why you came here tonight,” his eyes searched my face, still looking so vulnerable. “Why did you come to my door, Spencer?”

He licked his lips. “I-I was mad.”

My touch became firmer, a sort of reward for his honesty. I let my fingers wander up to his collarbone, over his chest. "Why were you mad, Dr. Reid?"

The whimper that slipped from his lips when I called him Dr. Reid was music to my ears. His hips were shifting on the bed, he was fully hard now.

“Because he touched you.”

I moved to swing my leg over his body, straddling his abdomen, careful not to touch his cock, not yet. “And why were you mad that he touched me?” I whispered.

“He can’t touch you,” his voice was breathy but firm. “You’re mine.”

Slap.

He looked startled when my open palm connected with his cheek. It wasn’t as hard as I wanted; I was still unsure. “No, Dr. Reid. I’m not yours. You are mine.” I leaned over him, my arms going to either side of his head to cage him in. “Do you understand?”

In the way that Spencer knew everything, he knew what I was really asking. His voice was no more than a whisper. “Green.”

I offered him a small smile. Then I lifted my hand to grab on to his face again. “I asked you if you understand, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer nodded quickly. “Yes Miss, I understand.”

I released his face before moving off the bed again. “You’ve been a very naughty boy, Spencer.” I gave him a frown as my hands reached behind my back to undo my bra, letting it slide down my arms. Spencer licked his lips, his fists becoming tighter. “I’m very disappointed in you, baby.”

“I-I’m sorry, Miss.” His voice was dry as he stumbled over his words.

"Are you, Dr. Reid?" I asked as my thumbs hooked into the waistband of my panties. "Are you really sorry?" Wiggling them down my hips, I let them drop to the floor before I stepped out of them.

“Yes. Yes, Miss. I’m so sorry.”

I crawled onto the bed, sitting back with my legs underneath me, letting my hands run up and down the skin of my thigh. “They’re pretty words, Dr. Reid, but I don’t know if I believe you.” I tilted my head to the side, bringing both my hands to my stomach, inching them up to my breasts. I let out a moan when I finally reach my destination, massaging my breasts, twisting my nipples while Spencer watched. I heard him whimper, causing a smile to tug at my lips. You’re doing so well, baby. I raised my body up so I was on my knees; I spread my thighs slightly, letting one of my hands drop to the apex of my thighs. Spencer watched so closely I’m not sure he even blinked when I dipped one finger inside the place that ached for him. I moved my finger in and out, biting my lip while I watched him.

After a moment I removed my finger, surprising him by bringing it to his mouth. “Open.” He obeyed instantly, his cheeks hollowing out as he sucked on my finger. “I wonder what else I could make you suck on.” I withdrew my finger from his mouth, bringing it back to my pussy. “How are you going to prove that you’re sorry, Dr. Reid? What are you going to do for me?”

His voice was filled with longing and hunger. “Anything, miss, I’ll do anything.”

I smirked, moving closer to him. Bracing my hands on either side of his body, I swung my leg over his torso, keeping on my knees so I didn’t touch him. Not yet. “Anything, huh?” He nodded quickly; his eyes fixed on my pussy.

I moved one hand to the headboard, the other moved to touch those beautiful curls of his, pulling hard enough to get another moan from him. “If you really want to apologize, Dr. Reid, maybe you can put that pretty little mouth of yours to better use?” I applied a tiny bit of pressure to his head.

He looked confused for a second, his eyes were wide in surprise like he couldn't believe what I was asking him to do. He probably can’t, I thought.

“What’s the matter, baby?” I teased. “Do you not want me to put my pussy on your face? You don’t want me to fuck your tongue?”

“No, no!” He whispered hurriedly. “I want that more than anything Miss.”

“Good boy.” I think he felt the significance of this moment too. “I’ll forgive you if you can make me cum before I get bored of you," I smirked down at him. “What do you think about that Dr. Reid? Can you make me cum all over your pretty little face?”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Open your mouth.” I leaned over, putting my mouth closer to his, making it clear what I was going to do before I spit into his mouth. “Swallow it.” He swallowed obediently without any hesitation. Noted.

“Okay, Dr. Reid. I’ll take that apology now.”

He moved so fast. His hands hooked on the backs of my thighs, pulling me up his body while also pushing himself down the bed. My pussy was hovering over his mouth, he licked his lips, his fingers flexing on my thighs. He looked so desperate for me…but still so unsure. “Go ahead, baby,” I whisper, pulling on his hair hard enough to make him whimper.

With that, he gripped my hips and pulled me to his mouth. I felt his tongue move through my folds, gathering the wetness that pooled there. He moaned so loudly, pulling my hips down further, bringing my pussy closer to his face.

It had been so long since I’d felt this. I hadn’t let anyone touch me like this in years; it was so much better than I remembered, but that may have just been because it was Spencer doing it.

“Ugh,” I moan, starting to rock my hips. “Fuck, baby.” I pulled his hair, tugging hard enough that I knew it hurt. “I’m already getting bored, Dr. Reid, and you just started. You can do better than that.”

I wasn’t ready, not even a bit, for his lips locking around my clit. He flicked it with his tongue, then circled it, trying to find the method that made me groan and grind my pussy down on his mouth.

“That’s more like it, Dr. Reid,” I said, earning another moan from him. “I knew there had to be a better use for this smart mouth." My hips started rocking faster, his fingers were digging into my flesh. "What would the team say if they knew about what a dirty boy you are, Dr. Reid?" His tongue sped up, causing me to shudder. I bit my lip so hard I felt real pain. I didn’t want him to hear me moan; he hadn’t earned it yet. “What would they say if they heard Dr. Reid beg me to fuck his face? You’re always such a good boy, baby. But you’re not the good boy they think you are. You’re my good boy.”

My hips were moving more rapidly; Spencer hadn’t slowed his pace at all, almost like he could feel how close I was. What I had planned would be hard for me…but I knew it would be torture for him. After a few moments, when I felt my pussy spasm with the telltale signs of my impending orgasm, I gripped his hands and pulled them from me while I lifted my hips.

His mouth was red, wet, and his lips were swollen. His face morphed from one of bliss to one of confusion. “Wha-“

I moved away from him. “That was really the best you could do, Dr. Reid?” He bit into his lip, he looked almost embarrassed as his eyes moving down to my pussy.

“Please, Miss,” he begged. “Please let me finish. You taste so good. You were so close, I felt it.”

I chuckled, “Oh you felt it, huh?” I reached between my thighs, gathering some of my wetness, then moved that same hand to grip Spencer’s cock. At that first touch he let out a strangled sound that was almost a scream; my poor boy is so sensitive. I gave him a few pumps before I removed my hand.

“Miss, please.”

“You didn’t make me cum, Dr. Reid,” I said sweetly. “What makes you think you’ve earned my touch?” I moved my fingers back to my clit, rubbing slow circles, still so, so close. “Touch yourself.” He obeyed immediately, his eyes never leaving my fingers that were swirling around the place his mouth had just been. “I want you to touch yourself like you do when you’re at home in bed, Dr. Reid. Back when you still felt so guilty, but you just couldn’t help it…because I know you thought about me when you touched yourself long before Nebraska.”

His eyes shot up to meet mine; it was hard to tell if his flushed face got a little pinker in the dim light of the room. “You don’t need to deny it, baby.” My fingers started working faster. “I know. I’ve always known. So, I want you to touch yourself like you did back then. You can do that for me, right baby?”

Hand moving faster and faster now, he gave me another beautiful whimper, “yes Miss.”

“Good boy,” my finger’s slowed. “I said you could touch yourself. I never said you could cum. Stop, Spencer.” I could tell from his breathing that he was so close to the edge. “I said stop.” I reached out to grip his arm tightly, digging my nails into his skin.

Once he had released his cock, I took in his appearance. His stomach muscles kept tensing, his cock was leaking precum steadily now, his dick was an angry red, his teeth were digging into his bottom lip, and I could see the tears of frustration swimming in his eyes.

“Aw, baby,” I cooed, leaning over to put my body above his again; I caressed his cheek softly. “What’s wrong?”

"I-I" the chatterbox that was Dr. Spencer Reid was finally speechless.

I lifted my hand off of his face only to bring it back down in a sharp slap. “I asked you a question, Dr. Reid.”

I saw the desperation in his eyes. I know baby, I know. We’re almost there.

“Please, miss,” his words were so quiet. “I can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry. I’m yours.”

He deserved the world. This wonderful man deserved the entire world. “I believe you, Dr. Reid.” I leaned over him then, sealing my lips over his, my tongue stroking into his mouth softly. I felt his hands rise up towards my body only to stop just before they made contact.

He made my heart swell. I pulled my mouth away, looking down at him with an emotion I didn’t want to name shining from my eyes. “You’ve been such a good boy, baby.” I pushed the damp curls off of his forehead. “Such a good boy. I think you deserve something special.” I rose up on my knees, straddling his body again, my hand moving down to my pussy to spread myself open for his eyes. “What would you like more? Do you want me to put my pussy on your pretty face again? I’ll let you cum while you make me cum. I know how badly you need to taste me, Dr. Reid.” I bit my lip at how quickly he nodded his head. “Or, I can let you fuck my mouth. Hold onto my hair and fuck your pretty cock down my throat. Then I’ll let you watch me cum after.” I left a kiss on the tip of his nose.

Dr. Spencer Reid usually made decisions quickly; his mind worked so much quicker than everyone else, but he was struggling here. His eyes met mine, he looked so desperate and lost in a sea of his own desire.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you, baby.” I moved down his body then, trailing kisses down his stomach. I gripped his cock hard in my hand, causing him to moan so loudly I’m sure someone in the neighboring rooms heard him. “Fuck my face, Dr. Reid. I want to watch you come undone.”

Needing no further encouragement, his hands tangled in my hair, tugging the strands so hard it made my eyes water. I opened my mouth over him; he lifted his hips going far deeper into my mouth than he would have done normally. I relaxed my jaw, swallowing around the head of his cock. My eyes were watering too much to watch him, but I heard him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted, pulling my head down to meet his upward thrust. “You feel so fucking good, y/n. I’m gonna…” he let out a ragged breath. “I’m gonna cum.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he came apart. His groan was from deep in his chest and it sounded like my name as he filled my mouth. He slowed his thrusts, but I continued sucking. I needed him to feel every ounce of this.

When his hands finally dropped from my head, I released him. I wiped my eyes and I took him in. He looked so overwhelmed, shattered, and beautiful. I moved up the bed, lying beside him and wrapping him in my arms. I peppered his shoulder with kisses. “You did so good, Spencer,” I praised. “So, so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Spencer turned, his hands cupping my jaw while he stared so deep in my eyes. What I saw swirling on the surface of those amber eyes made my heart stop.

“You didn’t cum.” His voice was scratchy.

“I know. It’s okay,” I reassured. “We can take a break. Or you can watch me cum now.” I kept stroking his hair, his body. “Whatever you want, Spencer.”

My core was still throbbing, the sight of his release only pulling me closer to the edge.

His lips lifted in a smirk. “Whatever I want?” he teased.

“Yes.”

He blinked once, then again. He didn’t know quite what to do with my confirmation; but I meant it, in this moment, I was willing to give Spencer Reid anything and everything.

“…Can I make you cum?” he searched my eyes for any sign of hesitation. “I…I want to finish. What I was doing earlier.”

My laugh bubbled out of me. “I just had your cock down my throat but now you can’t ask me if you can make me cum on your face?”

I was still laughing when he leaned forward to kiss me; both of his hand cupping my jaw. There was heat behind this kiss; it brought my simmering arousal back to a giant flame in my lower belly. Heat wasn’t all that was there though. I can’t think about that. I couldn’t dwell on what I felt, but I felt it with my entire soul.

Despite what we had just done, this felt different. The scene felt over, his powerful orgasm had shifted the mood in our little bubble. I wasn’t his Miss. He wasn’t my pretty, nervous boy. He was Spencer and I was y/n; and he wanted to make me feel good. He rose over me then, wasting no time on foreplay; he knew I didn’t need it.

He settled between my thighs, his hands wrapping around them, his fingers digging into my skin. With one final look at my face to make sure this was really okay, he put his mouth on me. My back arched and my mouth hung open in a silent scream. Spencer didn’t toy with me; he knew how close I was.

“Spencer, Spencer, fuck,” his eyes opened when my fingers tangled in his hair, my pussy grinding into his face. “I’m so close. Fuck.”

I was so lost I didn’t realize his hand had moved until I felt two fingers enter me, curling expertly. He pumped his fingers and wrapped his lips around my clit, sucking firmly. That was all it took for me to cum for him.

It all happened so quickly I didn’t have time to be scared. He was the first man to make me orgasm in longer than I wanted to admit. I knew the last time I let someone put their mouth on me. It had always felt like a deeply intimate act to me, I was always nervous to let anyone do it.

Spencer rose up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Why is that sexy?

He laid down beside me; I'm not sure who's arms wrapped around who first, but we were clinging to each other, both of us breathing hard.

“So,” I said, after clearing my throat. “What did you think?”

Spencer chuckled, the hot air of his breath puffing against my hair. “I liked it.”

“Yeah?” I pulled back to look at his eyes.

“Mhm," was his response as he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before his mood shifted. "Y/n…I'm sorry I got so mad." He looked so embarrassed as he said it as if it wasn't the sweetest thing in the world that Spencer Reid would care about me like that. “I just…I saw him touching you and I just…” he dropped his gaze. “I know we didn’t talk about monogamy, but I thought- I was just so worrie-“

My finger pressed against his lips. “I don’t want to be with anyone else, Spencer.”

We fell asleep shortly after that. I couldn’t help but wonder if his thoughts felt anything like mine; the irony of it all was I was too afraid to ask.

Series tag list: @abschaffer2​ @liaabsurd​ @brokenanxiety​ @thisiscalmandits-dr​​ @less-intelligent-spencerreid​​ @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @cielo1984​ @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @101donuts​ @heyitssarahk @creepingfromthecorners​ @imjusthereformggcontent​ @fanfictionislifetho​  @annestine​

Taglist: @rachelxwayne​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace​ @nanocoool​

[alluringjae]

[ 23:45 ] ⮕ END   

part of my collection of cookie cuts from all i do is wait

in order to understand, read the main story first here.

pairing: ghost!doyoung x female!reader

genre: angst, sum fluff if you really squint

warnings: death, grief

author’s note: someone asked me how i would interpret this scene, so here it is. this hurt A LOT. have fun though!

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Mid-1953

At long last, the Korean War has ended after 3 years.

Over 5 million people dead, and to be one of the lucky survivors was a miracle.

The remaining soldiers who’ve fought through it all could return home, whilst civilians can properly rebuild all that was devastatingly destroyed in their cities. Their own normal lives included.

The fiercest 3 years of your life must you say, too engaged with self-studying your history books saved pre-war while dealing with the bargaining stage of your grief towards Doyoung. Every day, you couldn’t go on without overthinking the what-ifs. On top of that, your toddler Areum was at the stage where she loved creating a mess on the walls with her crayons. No matter how many times you’ve corrected her because it wasn’t your house, she continued anyway.

Now, she’s full-blown crying after you confiscated them and you’re on the verge of it. Thankfully, your mother stepped in to take her out for a walk in the neighborhood so you could unwind for a bit.

Since news broke out that the war ended, everyone from every street cheered and danced on the streets. You hailed with praise along with them, positive that things were going to get better. Yet deep down, you’ve selfishly wished that he was one of the lucky few to come home.

If only you didn’t chicken out so easily after he told you he was enlisting so you had a few more seconds with him.

If only you compromised him to join another field.

If only you told him about Areum earlier so he could go home.

These thoughts revolved your mind the most, instantly getting you to break down wherever you were. Even photos of him and you together were enough to tear down your walls. So, they remained hidden until the day you’re in a much better state of mind.

Dear god, you longed for him. Everything that consists of him.

In hopes to forget this tremendous loss in your life, you poured hot tea in a cup and started on this new book from this ongoing series, The Chronicles of Narnia. Getting it during this harsh period was tough, bartering it with old books you’ve owned in the market.

Fully preoccupied in the fantastical universe, flipping the pages quickly, you almost missed the continuous knocking on your door. You let out a tiny gasp and made your way to the entrance. As delusional to think it was Doyoung, you knew it wasn’t your mother and Areum either because they would’ve simply walked in. Opening it anyways, you were met by two young tall men. One had a bandage on his cheek while the other had a cast on his right arm. Noting their growing hair, they must’ve fought in the war.

Oh, if Doyoung was one of them.

“Hello, may I know who you two are?”

The one with the bandage spoke up, bowing first. “Hello, I am Lee Taeyong and this is my friend, Kim Jungwoo. We were good friends of your late lover, Kim Doyoung.”

Late lover.

Haven’t heard that since people in the neighborhood gossiped about your taboo pregnancy, but it’s not like they knew anyways. But from the letters exchanged with Doyoung before, he talked about these two highly. Whenever there were times of ease while serving, Doyoung was always up to mischievous things with these two. In a situation where they had to man up, they brought out his inner child.

“Oh, yes! Doyoung used to talk about you two in his letters, but I had no clue how you guys looked.”

By instinct, you invited them inside for tea by the patio. You’ve always wanted to meet them despite the circumstances. Bringing in a tray with a teapot and treats, mostly you were inquiring about their lives. Aside from knowing their positions in the team, you learned of their new plans moving forward.

“I want to return to university to finish my studies in mechanical engineering, maybe travel the world too.” Jungwoo stated, blowing on his cup before sipping it. He’s said to be an organized man according to Doyoung, always cautious of his surroundings. It balanced out his liveliness.

“Me too! I want to complete my major in finance, then marry my childhood sweetheart after a few years.” Taeyong expounded, his round eyes glowed in wonder. He must’ve been looking forward to this day, and you were content for him. Meanwhile, it processed to Taeyong what he said, realizing that it may have been insensitive.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” He burst out instantly. “I got stuck in my feelings there.”

“It’s okay, nothing to worry about. You shouldn’t apologize for how you feel.”

“I do think we should feel worried about you though.” Jungwoo interrupted, sighing heavily. “What happened with Doyoung-hyung all those years ago, we’re really concerned for you especially.”

At the mention of the painful memory, this wasn’t the right time to crumble. You weren’t capable to show your vulnerability to anyone but yourself. Plastering a wrenching pretend smile, “I appreciate the concern, truly. But I’ll be okay again. I’m planning to return to university too, then proceed to law school. A shared dream of mine and his.”

Taeyong and Jungwoo transparently viewed you like glass, coping with the grief of it. They were on the same page as you, and unaware to you, they knew his final words. With their interpretation, it only felt right to reach out to you. Befriend you, aid you in any possible way.

At the end of the day, three of you equally shared the suffering over the death of a loved one.

Sitting in peaceful silence, the front door creaked open followed by a tiny, high-pitched voice squealing.

“We’re home!” Your mother shouted.

“I’m at the patio, we have guests over!” You replied, pouring more tea for the two quiet boys.

From such a low-spirited atmosphere only did it liven up when an energetic Areum came into your setting. She had pigtails this time, satisfying herself with fresh bungeo-ppang from the neighborhood. No matter what you’re feeling, it took a single glance of her with her small moon-like eyes to recharge you.

“Mom, who are your friends here?” She pondered cluelessly.

The two boys exchanged looks at each other first, then to you in one breath. Their expressions of perplexity by how one’s hand was on their mouth and the other boy couldn’t stop staring at Areum, you identified exactly what they were thinking of.

“Areum, these are your dad’s friends in the army.” You animatedly confirmed. “The one with that tiny bandage on his face is uncle Taeyong, and the one with the white cast is uncle Jungwoo.”

Doyoung’s death was already so heavy to take in, but upon discovering this hidden surprise, Jungwoo wiped his tears on his sleeve. But you were fast to hand him some tissue. He was younger than you, so your older sister instincts kicked in.

“This is unjust, (Y/N).” He murmured across you so Areum won’t pick up his words. Your lips pressed against each other, maintaining a straight face at him. He was right.

With Taeyong, his arms spread out wide for the small girl who willingly walked to him. He loved children, having a nephew back home. He caressed her smooth hair down to her jaw. The first thing he distinguished was her pretty eyes followed by her squishy cheeks, resembling so much of his late friend.

“You’re so pretty, Areum. Did your mom tell you that you mirror so much of your dad?”

“Yes, she does! But I’ve never met him and I don’t when I will, uncle Taeyong.”

A tragedy how the splitting image of his best friend doesn’t see what everyone sees. But again, she’s only 3 and she can only process so much. She doesn’t know the real truth behind her father’s location, except that he was working far, far away. There are days she’d ask if he’d come back soon, yet your only response is not now. This isn’t the right time for her purity about life to stain.

“Well Areum,” Jungwoo gathered his senses again, crouching down to her level. “As his friends, we know that you look just like him! Prettier even.”

“Really? Tell me more about him, uncle Jungwoo!”

It’s about time someone else shared stories about your late lover because yours was short-lived. It’s even more intriguing to listen to what other people have to say about Doyoung that weren’t his parents. Some stories told by Taeyong and Jungwoo were new to you too, giggling along to their ridiculousness when they’re not training or fighting. Loving their presence, you invited them to stay for dinner with your family, which they couldn’t reject.

What started as a tense conversation transformed into a heartwarming experience. These two boys earned a spot in your life, aspiring for longtime friendships with them. The tender way they cherished for Areum like they’re own after meeting for the first time, it’ll fill in bits of her void. In exchange, they insisted to chip in for you and her lives so it wouldn’t be just you and your family. Struggling already with the consequences of the war, it only felt proper to do so.

“Doyoung has always been there for us, now let us return the favor and be there for you and Areum.”

Your protests were deemed useless, so you allowed them to do so. Once you finished law school and take the exams, you could pay them back. It’s phenomenal how Doyoung’s good influence towards others multiplied even after his passing. Maybe if you began to view things this way, you’d recover sooner. Although he’ll always be in your thoughts, it wouldn’t be as sensitive as it is now.

For now, you’re just going to enjoy the bliss Taeyong and Jungwoo brought, retelling old tales of a drunk Doyoung on the dining table.

From behind your garden fence in secret, Doyoung secretly observed as his treasured companions interacted at last with positivity. His only daughter mirroring his adored smile, he lived in that moment vicariously through her.

What a good time to visit today, truly.

[livingforcoopsandoknutzy]

I just read all of your fics and they are so so good! Can you write something with 41 and 45 for coops?

Thank you so much!! <33

“Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it?” + “It’s bad again. It’s really, really bad again."

All credit goes to @lumosinlove bless that beautiful brain of hers

TW: depression/mentions of past abuse

   Remus could always tell when Sirius was trapped in his head. Sirius would get reclusive and silent, he would go from being clingy to touch averse and it broke Remus’s heart without fail every single time.

   Sirius would often get that way around the anniversary of leaving and a certain time in November, which was what was happening now. It was November 19th and Sirius had been in the process of shutting down for two days but today was the worst of it.

   Remus had gone to bed at two in the morning, not being able to stay up any longer. Sirius had promised to come to bed soon but when Remus woke up the next morning the sheets on his bed were still made.

   Making his way downstairs, he found Sirius sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall, purple bags under his eyes that confirmed Remus’s suspicions that he hadn’t slept at all. Remus had made his way loudly over to the couch in hopes of not startling Sirius.

   It hadn’t helped and as soon as Remus sat down Sirius’s head snapped to him, his eyes wide and panicked. Remus knew better than to touch him when he got like this so he sat farther away and talked to him in a calming voice.

   “Baby, it’s just me. You weren’t there when I woke up, did you sleep in here?” He asked gently, relieved that Sirius had calmed down when he realized it was Remus instead of freaking out further. Sirius just shook his head, not vocalizing which Remus had expected.

   Remus just nodded and snuggled into the couch, offering a silent strength for Sirius if he needed it. They sat like that for about an hour before the tension finally left Sirius and he actually laid his head down in Remus’s lap.

   Sirius let out a quiet sigh when Remus’s hand found his hair. “You okay, love?” He asked quietly. Sirius shuddered at the name and shook his head slowly. “It’s bad again. It’s really, really bad again.” He said quietly, a slight waver in his voice. Remus dropped his head so he could kiss Sirius’s forehead. 

   “I’ve got you, baby. Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it?” Sirius laid quietly for a second, his hand finding Remus’s free one and playing with his fingers. “Can I talk about it?” Remus was almost shocked into silence. Sirius seldom talked about things from his past, not more than two sentences and never into details but Remus would be damned if he didn’t listen when Sirius finally did.

   Remus just nodded, his arm tightening around Sirius’s waist so he could pull him to where he was more laying on him than sitting his head in Remus’s lap. Sirius snuggled into the embrace, his forehead pressed into Remus’s neck.

   “When I was growing up there were only two people in my family who didn’t hate me. Two people besides my brother who never laid a hand on me.” Remus clenched his jaw, fighting the anger that washed over him every time Sirius mentions or subtly mentions the abuse he suffered as a child.

   “My Great Uncle Alfred and my cousin Andromeda. My Great Uncle Alfred was cast out when I was about six years old, he’d send me secret cards when he could and would tell me to keep my head up. He’d been gay and when my family learned his secret they’d kicked him out. They burned him off the stupid family tree.” Remus buried his nose into Sirius’s curls when Sirius took a break to get his voice back under control. Sirius leaned his head back into the touch.

   “He was great and I loved him but Andromeda was always there for me. She’d show up randomly as if she could just tell when things were getting worse and she’d take me away for a weekend or something.” Sirius had a faint smile on his face, it was bittersweet and Remus was almost afraid to hear the rest of the story. “Eight years ago today she came and told everyone she was moving away with her boyfriend who was half Swedish.” 

   Sirius scoffed and Remus felt his heart sink when he saw the tears in his eyes. “My family, of course, lost their minds because he wasn’t French and she was kicked out of the family, her picture burned off the family tree just like that.” Sirius cleared his throat and pushed harder against Remus’s neck as if he needed the reminder that Remus was there.

   Remus held his head close and dropped kisses to his dark locks. “I was so mad at her for leaving me, I was just so angry but my family kept talking about her. They kept calling her a blood traitor and a whole bunch of other names I didn’t understand then. I went off, told them that if anything she was doing the right thing, she deserved to get away she was too good for us all anyway.” Sirius let out a weak laugh and shook his head.

   “I told my mother that they shouldn’t talk about her like that because at least she wasn’t still in the loop of inbreds.” His voice dropped off and when he started talking again it was much darker. “My mother hadn’t found that amusing. She had slapped me across the face before it even left my mouth. She had been too angry to properly punish me so she left it to my father.” Sirius started trembling and Remus tightened his hold around him protectively.

   “I’ve got you. You’re okay.” Remus whispered as he pressed a kiss to Sirius’s temple. Sirius just huddled closer and fell silent for a minute. “He beat me so bad I nearly died. I broke three ribs and my wrist but they wouldn’t let me go to the doctor. My mother locked me in the cellar and left me there for a week. Regulus had to come and sneak me food because neither of my parents thought about the fact that I was going to starve.” Sirius let out a bitter laugh. “Or maybe they did, maybe that was the point.”

   Remus bit his lip hard as his vision swarmed with tears. How could someone so precious and so amazing be treated like that? It was times like these that Remus remembered how strong Sirius was, if it had been anyone else Remus knew for a fact they would have been broken by now.

  “I was so mad at Andromeda for such a long time. I never returned any of her letters but she never stopped sending them.” Sirius sniffled and closed his eyes tightly. “Until she did. I thought she had finally taken the hint, it had made me much sadder than I thought it would have since I was the one ignoring her anyway. Turns out she had a daughter and had died during childbirth. Regulus had to tell me since no one else ever spoke of her.”

  Sirius shifted so he could press his forehead against Remus’s seeking more comfort than Remus knew how to give. Remus tightened his grip and pulled Sirius closer until he was straddling Remus, chests flush together but in a way that was more intimate than any of their other ‘intimate’ moments.

   Sirius made a broken sound and Remus felt tears fall from his own eyes as he watched Sirius’s expression change into a deeply tortured expression. “It was my own fault for never reaching out to her. I- I should have answered.” Sirius let out a sob and buried his face in Remus’s chest. “If I had just returned her letters instead of being stupid and petty I would have gotten to see how she was, I would have gotten to knew her daughter. Re, I could’ve been an Uncle to her but I was so angry about being alone that I ignored all of it. She probably hates me.”

  Sirius made an utterly broken sound and Remus held him as tightly as he could, trying to keep his own cries silent.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He said quietly, wishing at that moment harder than he ever had that he could have known Sirius growing up, that he could have helped him through all the stuff he went through. He never should have had to go through that, much less as a child. Nothing in Sirius’s life was fair and all Remus wanted was to fix it.

   “You’re so strong, kind, and good Sirius. She couldn’t hate you, it sounded like she loved you a lot. You never should have gone through any of that and I’m so sorry you had to go through it alone, just know you don’t have to anymore. You’ve got me, or James, or Dumo. You have the whole team, you’re not alone anymore.” 

   Remus dropped sloppy kisses all over Sirius’s shoulder. “Thank you for telling me, I know that’s hard.” Sirius let out shuddering breaths and pulled back to look at Remus. A slightly hysterical laugh rose from his throat and he rested his forehead back on Remus’s. 

   “You’re not supposed to be crying mon loup, that wasn’t my intention.” Remus shook his head quickly. “I know I’m sorry but just- none of that was fair. You shouldn’t have had to go through any of that.” Sirius laughed softly and kissed Remus gently.

   “I love you.” Sirius whispered, his eyes fluttering closed again. Remus basked in the warm feeling of being so close to Sirius. “Je t'aime aussi.” Sirius opened his eyes and shook his head, a fond smile on his face as Remus wiped the tears on his cheeks away with the pad of his thumbs.

   “We should go to bed, I know you didn’t sleep last night.” Remus said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Sirius’s nose. Sirius just buried his face in Remus’s neck. “You know me too well, mon loup.” Remus laughed quietly. 

   Sirius pulled his face away with a tired smile. “Carry me?” Remus laughed as he gripped Sirius’s thighs and shifted to the edge of the couch. Sirius let out a contented sigh and wrapped his arms around Remus’s neck.

   Remus picked him up with minimal problems and carried him to the bed where he dumped him precariously on the bed making Sirius laugh. Remus smiled at the sound, it was something that he hadn’t heard in days and he had missed it more than he cared to admit.

   Remus climbed in next to him and put his arm out so Sirius could tuck himself into his side. When Sirius was in the need of comfort he would tuck himself into a ball and rest his knees on Remus’s stomach.

   Normally, Remus would push them off but Sirius was already drifting and Remus didn’t think he could move him even if he wanted to. So he ignored the ache it caused and turned his nose into Sirius’s hair seeking out the comforting smell he hadn’t gotten in a few days.

   Remus kissed Sirius’s forehead and sighed. “I hope you’re happy now. I hope you know you have a family and we are here no matter what. We love you no matter what.” It fell on deaf ears as Sirius had already fallen asleep, Remus drifted soon after.

[historic-old-guard-lover]

How many languages and which of them would the cast speak if we’re going to be completely historically accurate ?

This a great question that I can’t quite answer, but I spent six hours researching to give it a shot. I think that there’s a broad range of plausible languages and you’ve got leeway to choose how many. The first part is that different people have different affinities for languages. Some people can speak ten different languages fluently (or near-fluency), while others will struggle juggling three different ones in their brains. The range in the languages can affect this, too: it’s easy to mess up between similar languages. I personally have trouble speaking Spanish because in the middle of the sentence, I’ll drop a French word without even realizing it. The same thing doesn’t happen to me in other languages like German, though. By the same token as I’ve discussed before, similar languages are easier to learn. Going from English to Russian with the Cyrillic alphabet? More difficult than English to French, which makes up about a third of modern English. These are languages that are still in the same family (Proto-Indo-European, PIE), though, so it holds nothing to the difficulty of going from English to a language like Mandarin.

I’m breaking this answer into two parts: 1) how many?; 2) which ones? and I’m going to get carried away because I’m me so it’s below the break to spare you if this comes across your dash and you’re not a nerd...

PART 1: What’s a realistic number for them to speak?

I think that each member of the old guard probably has a certain number of languages which they’re comfortable with, a few more that they can understand/get by in, and a few that they may only know phrases from. The number of each isn’t the same for everyone. The average human being is able to speak ~1.5 languages. The most talented polyglots can speak upwards of 50 languages, maybe one guy even spoke 65 (mostly I want to mention he loved translating the phrase “kiss my ass”). This hyperpolyglot, Kreb aka “Kiss My Ass” Stan, had his brain dissected after his death and it showed a lot of “abnormalities”. That leads neuroscientists and me to believe that being able to study and learn 65 languages is either 1) a major skill that rewired his brain because he was flexing it so much; or 2) very abnormal and facilitated by his brain differences. Since their powers don’t make them stop being limited by the human brain (they can forget), I would say that it is unlikely that one of them is fluent/near fluent/comfortable in more than ~65 languages.

Getting past twelve languages is considered a feat, so I think only Andy, Quynh, Nicky, and Joe could be anywhere near the upper-bounds of languages. Remember, these hyperpolyglots spend their entire lives studying languages and often need refreshers. The members of the Old Guard don’t have the luxury of reading grammar books all day, and they also have to remember a bunch of combat training. You can argue that a lot of fighting is “muscle memory” aka located in the cerebellum and nowhere near language processing areas, but there’s still things like math, navigation, etc. that they need to remember. I doubt they have a list of their safe houses just lying around. The older members can speak more languages by virtue of being around longer and having that time to learn, but if we’re being realistic they should probably speak no more than ~45-55 languages comfortably. This doesn’t mean that they only *know* that many, but the other languages would be more like bad high school Spanish in America than able to wax poetic. Aside: that Joe is able to be poetic in what is AT LEAST his fourth or so language is very impressive and we should talk about that more.

How Many Each Member is Maximally Proficient In/Knowledgeable Of at the end of the film/Opening Fire comics run:

Lykon (comics): proficient in ~15, knowledgeable of ~30*

Lykon (movies): proficient in ~45, knowledgeable of ~80*

Andy: proficient in ~50, knowledgeable of ~100**

Quynh | Noriko: proficient in ~51, knowledgeable of ~90**

Joe: proficient in ~30, knowledgeable of ~80

Nicky: proficient in ~30, knowledgeable of ~80

Booker: proficient in ~10, knowledgeable of ~30

Nile: proficient in ~2 (maybe 3), knowledgeable of ~5

*In the comics, he is younger than Andy and Quynh and I assume he dies young. In the movie, it is strongly implied that he was the oldest. The reason why his numbers are not larger, however, is because at some point there were fewer languages as humanity had not dispersed as much as it eventually did. He’s also long before written language which facilitates learning for most people. RIP Lykon.

**I’m not saying that Quynh is smarter than Andy, just that she comes after written language and it should be slightly easier for her to pick things up. I’m giving Andy access to more languages, however, because PIE alone covers Europe, Central Asia, and South Asia. More on this later.

PART 2: Which languages would each of them speak?

I’ve covered this question a little in a previous post that was broadly about proto-indo-european/Andy-centric (check it out if you want), but I’ll give a broader survey of each character here.

A Quick Aside on Lykon: We don’t know enough about this character, and the fact that the comics and movie diverge so sharply does not help at all. I’m going to headcannon that he was from Eastern Africa, where most archaeologists agree that modern humans first appeared in the Horn of Africa aka modern Ethiopia and Somolia and neighbors, and predates Andy by ~3,000 years. For future purposes below and assuming a birth date for Andy in the range ~5,000BCE - 4,000BCE, this puts his birth at around ~8,000BCE - 7,000BCE. This is wild speculation, however. Maybe the early immortals should be spaced by warfare types (Stone Age, Bronze, Iron, Steel?) or maybe they pop up once a cultural region reaches a certain historic point or maybe they just sorta pop up and then live for six or seven thousands years. I’m working off the last assumption because it’s the simplest. The only thing I’m certain of is that Greg Rucka probably didn’t sit down and think this pattern through. If I’m wrong, oh well. I’m mad at him for all his historical inaccuracies. With dating from ~8,000BCE - 7,000BCE, I’m having trouble finding a name for the cultures that scientists/historians know were living there at the time. It’s probably because the region has been continually occupied since the first humans, which one can safely assume makes abandoned and undisturbed sites hard to fine.

A Quick Aside on Quynh | Noriko: I like the film better, so I’ll be working with Quynh. If there’s enough interest, I can add on Japanese for Noriko. I’m going to date Quynh to be ~1,500 years after Andy (maybe this should be the new date system, before Andy “BA” and after Andy “AA”). This puts her in the time range of ~3,500BCE - 2,500BCE which could place her in either the Đa Bút neolithic culture of modern-day Vietnam or the Phùng Nguyên bronze age culture of modern-day Vietnam. Those names are archaeological in nature, based on the location where sites have been found and dated to those ranges.

Other Origins: Because we have diverging cannons, I’m going to just state the backgrounds that I’ve assigned. Joe is from 1066CE with a background in the Arab-controlled Maghreb (more specifically, modern-day Tunisia and Northern Algeria). Nicky is from 1069CE with a background from the Italian maritime republic and city-state of Genoa. Booker is from 1770 southern France. Nile is from 1994 Chicago in the United States. Andy is from ~5,000BCE - 4,000BCE in the Caucasus (modern-day Georgia and Azerbaijan) or the South Western Eurasian Steppes, probably the Shulaveri-Shomu culture assuming that location.

The first language everyone learned, their “mother tongue” or “native language” is one that they definitely speak. It’s the language that they think in and would be hard-pressed to lose. This even includes now-dead languages, because, again, it’s the one that they learned to think with. Of course, it is possible to lose a language when you have no one to speak it with if you wanted to do something tragic, but I think that these things are too deeply ingrained for it it to happen by accident.

What Each One’s First Language Would Be:

Nile: American English, possibly African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) at home

Booker: Provençal/Occitan, possibly “standard French” (school and other places outside the home)

Nicky: Genoese Ligurian/Zeneize

Joe: Tunisian Derja/Tunisian Arabic/Tunisian, and possibly one of the dialects of the native Zenati language group based on where more precisely you place him

Quynh: Proto-Viet–Muong (which isn’t well documented because it’s so old)

Andy: Proto-Indo-European (PIE), but if you’re curious the Classical Scythian Language for which she is probably named is only off by a factor of 10 (4000 vs 400 BCE) *cue distressed sighing*

Lykon: Proto-Cushitic (also suffering a lack of documentation from being old as heck)

Other than their first languages, what else they learn depends on where they go. People learned languages back then for the same reasons that they do today: to communicate (and to read, after the invention of writing). 

Additional Confirmed or Likely Cannon Languages:

Nile: Spanish because of the American school system for sure. French is listed on the IG account, but she probably speaks only Spanish or French to a degree of fluency, definitely one better than the other. Very Basic Pashto, which we see her use some obviously-memorized phrases with in the film.

Booker: The IG promo things asserts that he knows (modern, standard) Italian and Greek. Why not? He also probably knows Spanish depending on where more specifically in southern France he is from. He’s probably also picked up on at least Very Basic Arabic from Joe and Nicky, but actually learning the language would take commitment from him. He also clearly speaks English.

Nicky: Other Italian dialects, and it would be fairly easy for him to have picked up modern Italian. He definitely reads Latin. If he was from a wealthy family, he probably also speaks Greek. If he was from a trading family, he probably speaks the trading pidgin of Sabir. The IG account confirms Arabic (vague, but okay I’ll be generous and say modern standard Arabic) and Romanche (they meant to write Romansh). I think Romansh is poorly chosen to characterize him in Northern Italy, but I’m feeling generous. He also clearly speaks English.

Joe: He definitely speaks standard Arabic to have been able to communicate with other Arabic-speakers in Jerusalem.  Genoese Ligurian/Zeneize because of the love of his life, which also means he probably picked up modern Italian at some point. The IG account confirms Farsi (they call it “Persian” *cue screaming*), which works if he was a merchant who traveled far to eastward on the Silk Road...and if you go with the comic cannon makes more sense. I’m going to say that he speaks the Mediterranean trading pidgin Sabir because of his location in Tunisia. If he was from a wealthy merchant family and could afford schooling, he probably learned Greek and maybe also Latin. There’s a good chance that he knows conversational-levels of other native Zenati languages thanks to colonialism discouraging their usage. He also clearly speaks English.

Quynh: We don’t actually know if she speaks English, but it’s safe to assume she does speak at least some of it. She’s probably learned Vietnamese and Mường because of her mastery of their proto-language. Because I see her returning to modern-day Vietnam to fight the Chinese colonization, I think that she might know Cantonese or Mandarin. Based on her travels with Andy, I’d like to propose Greek, Latin, and Mongolian. I’m sure that Andy and her share a language, but who knows which one they were each speaking when they met!

Andy: The IG account says “all,” but I’ve discussed this elsewhere (*major eye rolling*). She almost certainly picked up Scythian and Greek based on her chosen name. Latin isn’t as likely as you’d think, but is possible. I’d like to think that she’s also partial to learning Russian (or some earlier form of the language), Mongolian, and Armenian. Based on her travels with Quynh, I imagine that she speaks Cantonese or Mandarin and Vietnamese or Mu’o’ng. There is some mystery language shared with Quynh, too. She also clearly speaks English.

Lykon: I really don’t know enough about him to hazard any guesses. He should share at least one language in common with Andy and Quynh. If his date of death is ~2,000- 1,000 BCE like I’m supposing, there’s a good chance that he only speaks one or two currently-named languages. Sorry, OP.

[electronictimetravelmoose]

Five-maggedon

Warnings: angst, mention of suicide, lost of love one, apocalypse, mention of killing, gaslighting

Word Count: ~5.5k

Summary: What should have been a normal trip to the store ends with landing in an apocalyptic wasteland with a boy you never saw before.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Requested by my lovely Honey aka my wife @satans-bae-and-queen 

A/N: Okay so my wife and I were at this for a while, if it looks shit I am very sorry. Fuck this.

--------------------------------------------

This wasn’t exactly how you thought your day would pan out.

Everything was ordinary when you stood up that morning. Your mom woke you and your younger brother at seven o’clock for breakfast, which went quietly and uneventful. Your father left for work at exactly 7:45 am as he always does, your brother was sitting in his room playing with the many toys he had and you started to study for school. But that got cut short when your mother asked you to get something from the store for her. It was the norm to send you when she was busy. Absolutely normal.

You changed out of your pyjamas into a pair of jeans and a sweater and soon you were out in the cold with additional boots and a coat. You were wandering down the snowy streets skipping a few steps once in a while on your trip to the store when it happened.

A boy the same age as you was wandering down that exact same street as well but not in the same time as you. Well not in that moment. 

Five was making his second jump from a sunny summer day to a snowy winter day. He was ecstatic from his own powers to jump through time so easily which only fueled his ego more. Five wanted to make another jump, a much bigger jump to prove to himself and his family that he could. He wanted to see how far he can get and rub it under his father's nose to show him that he didn’t need more time or training to do so. Five knew and saw that he was ready and capable of challenging this new ability. So Five started to concentrate when...

You swore that this boy dressed in a weirdly looking school uniform wasn’t there a second before but it didn’t make much of a difference now because when you collided with him everything around you started to turn and get blurry before you landed on the floor. 

“Shit.” , you groaned out in pain before you opened your eyes.

Shock washed over you as you took in your surroundings, your pain instantly subsided at your new view and panic kicked in. This wasn’t the street you were on a second ago, or that’s at least what you thought, because everything around you was in ruins. Everywhere you looked there was nothing left but the last remains of the buildings that once stood at their places. Things were burning and nobody seemed to be there besides you and that boy. Who was, by the look on his face, just as scared and full of panic as you were. 

The boy's name, who you can thank for landing in this mess with, was Five. He was part of The Umbrella Academy which you had heard of in the news. Kids, all born on the same day, with different superpowers who fight crime and save the day. Almost sounded like a bliss. His powers, as he told you, were jumping through space and now time as well and oh boy how he has proven that. He apologized for bringing you accidently with him and promised he would get you back home as soon as his powers would work again. You couldn’t do anything else but believe him for the time being and hope that he kept his promise in the end.

Time went on and you started telling him about you as well, only finding it fair as he told you quite a lot about himself and explaining how exactly his powers work. To the surprise of both of you there was a lot in common between you. You were both thirteen years old with only a few weeks in between, always learning and seeking to be the smartest in the room, the competitiveness you held and the both of you always having to adapt to new situations. 

Five in his training and struggling to be on his father’s good side at all times and you for attempting to fit in with your adoptive family, in school and overall life in general. And that was also something you had in common, being adopted.

A few days turned into a few weeks, then into a few months and suddenly a year has gone by.

You and Five were still stuck in the apocalyptic future with no sign in the progress of bringing you two back home. You still haven’t given up hope that maybe one day he would bring you back, but that hope was minimizing itself by the day. 

Were you angry about it? No. Maybe slightly disappointed but you thought that this all might have been faith bringing you here with Five.

It started a while ago that you noticed how close you and your companion had gotten and how deeply you felt about that boy. It made it hard for you to be around him which was only worsened by the questions and thoughts in your head. 

Was it because we two were the only ones alive, trapped together with no way to escape and no one else to talk to? Or did I really started to fall for that boy who always tried to keep me safe and us both alive? Who cheers me up when I am sad and helps me when everything gets too much…

Five was going through the same dilemma as you but with much more denial involved.

He couldn’t be in love with you! His mind was just playing weird and sickening tricks on him and his body was just starting to hit puberty. Yes that was probably it, puberty and his hormones playing crazy and his mind playing into it all with the idea of feelings but still… Everytime Five would look at you his heart would skip a beat and his stomach would start to perform the most ridiculous gymnastic moves known to mankind. It was baffling. 

To sum it up, Five went through all five stages of grief in that year with denial taking the most of his time. But when it started to subside anger took over. That anger was not directed at you but at himself and he started to bargain with himself. How could I be so careless and trap her with me in this hell on earth?! I was naive and stupid for thinking I could do this without proper practise and calculating the dangers of it and now she is stuck here with me and it is all my fault. I can’t let her live through this hell with me. I need to get her back even if it meant that I might lose her.

Then it seemed that the depressive aspects of the whole situation hit him and it hit him like a fucking train. I'm stuck here with a girl that probably hates me and is rightfully to do so. She had no choice but to get dragged into this mess with me and the only thing I can do to make it up is to keep her safe and bring her back someday. But she will also never feel the same for me will she? She will never reciprocate my feelings for her because of what I did. I want her to feel loved and keep her safe without it having to be a way to make it up. I want to show her all the time how much I care about her even when this is over.

...and finally the acceptance kicked in. Acceptance that he wouldn’t be able to bring them back in the near future, that she probably hated him but still stuck around to not be alone and that he was in love with his companion. Five knew he could live with that but the question was for how long until he would break.

But it wasn’t really the question when he would break but rather who of you two would break first… And it was you.

You and Five had found a house that was still intact enough to stay in for a while as it was that time of the year when it grew colder again. You had set your camp in the house a few days ago and it was now the fourth night there. In the living room was a chimney which allowed you to lit a fire and give some much needed warmth to the two of you. Both of you were sitting in front of it in a rather comfortable silence when those thoughts started to creep back into your mind and you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore.

“Five?” , his name bursted out of your mouth. Oh this will get weird.

Five looked over to you with a concerned and questioning look on his face. “What’s wrong (Y/N)?”

“Nothing really, I just… I need to tell you something and it will probably get really awkward between us afterwards…”

Both you and Five were afraid in that moment. You because you were about to tell him what your true emotion towards him were and Five because he was afraid what your next words might be. 

It was silent for a moment before Five swallowed the lump in his throat, that has seemingly formed itself out of nowhere, and spoke again.

“Well, go on then.” 

A sigh, a deep breath, you can do this. 

“Fives I have been thinking about everything that happened over the past year quite a lot lately and not only that but also what has happened between us…” 

All the color was simply drained from Five’s face in that moment. Where you finally going to tell him that you hated him and that you just wanted this ordeal with him to be over? Five didn’t knew what or if he could even respond to your next words. 

“...I think that this has all been one hell of a rollercoaster of events but I want you to know that I am not mad at you and that I don’t hate you in any way. It’s somewhat of the opposite actually, I ehm… I really like you Five. Probably more than just liking you.”

Silence. 

That’s all what came next, pain-staking and excruciating silence. Five just looked utterly and completely shocked at you which made anxiety creep up into your system and fill your body with uneasiness. Was it the wrong thing to say? Does he even feel the same? God did you make it awkward between the two of you now? 

If you weren’t so anxious, you could literally hear the wheels in Five’s head rattling at lightning speed, processing what you just said to him. It was like a miracle... After all what happened you didn’t hated him! You liked him! And according to your words more than just liking. So when you heard his next words you were just as shocked as he was before.

“I am in love with you, (Y/N).” Wait what?

Your mouth fell open in shock with a loss of words following it. That was not what you expected, god not at all! How could this be real? But then again everything that happened in the last year was absolutely surreal in your eyes so you didn’t questioned it. 

You attempted to answer him but your responds just wouldn’t come out of your damn mouth.

Five, who noticed the attempts and your upbuilding frustration, began to speak again with slightly tinted cheeks. “Can… Can I kiss you?”

Did Five anticipated to bring it out as confident as possible? Yes. Did he succeed? Absolutely not. It sounded more like a scared schoolboy trying to talk to his crush, which it kinda was if we are being honest here, but nonetheless it was out now.

You were baffled by his request and suddenly your voice was fully cut off. The only respond you could give was a small nod and a slight lean towards him. Getting your drift Five slowly leaned in towards you as well. It felt like an eternity before your lips finally collided.

None of you had kissed anyone before so ideas on what might come next were flooding your thoughts. 

Five was the first to start moving a bit into the kiss and when he felt that you were doing the same, the movements of the both of you became natural and grew stronger. The kiss turned sloppy and wet in a span of only half a minute before you both needed to part to take in some needed air.

You gazed into each other's eyes for mere seconds before laughter erupted from both of you.

“God that was so gross, but kind of awesome.” You laughed out.

“I know.” , Five said while grinning at you, “Want to do it again?” 

“Hell yes!”

Years pass by and you and Five change. You both not only grow older and more maturer but you also grow closer together. The time you spend together also came with a lot of obstacles. Of course it’s hard only having the other to really talk to and confined in so the arguments and fights didn’t take long to come.

Both of you were screaming at the top of your lungs again, no one really knowing how it even started anymore but sure to let out all your frustration that bottled up inside with it. These disputes were happening quite often lately, coming right out of the blue with no real reason behind it. Was it maddening that you didn’t seem to be able to talk normally with each other anymore? Yes, but that wasn’t a reason for a screaming match and you weren’t in the mood for dealing with it.

“I need a break!” , you exclaimed. You finally reached your breaking point after almost two hours of screaming in the face of your significant other. Again.

On your way away form Five you grabbed your field flask to take with you. Your throat was literally murdering you for what you put it through, again. Sometimes it seemed hopeless to try and talk reasonable with him.

Five didn’t even try to stop you from leaving because he himself knew that you both had to let off some steam so you were able to talk to each other again and apologize. It still hurted him tho, seeing you leave like that but he knew you would come back. You always came back. Which Five was thankful for even when he questioned why you would come back to him. He was cynical, an egomaniac and he always wanted to be right... But that was just how love worked for you. You fight, you talk, you forgive, you make it work because he was the love of your life and you were his.

But when you didn’t came back that night he knew he fucked up. 

God if that would have been the worst part to come...

It’s been a week since the fight Five had with you and you weren’t back yet. He had started searched through the nearby area the day after you went missing and after another two days he wandered further out but he found absolutely nothing. No trace of where you went besides the field flask you had taken with you from which only a few sips had been drunk. 

Five thought he was going insane not knowing where you were and if something had happened to you. Suddenly everything he cared about for the last 45 years, give or take some, was gone. Vanished from the face of the earth. He knew now the he shouldn’t have let you leave his sight but nothing happened the times before so who would have thought anything would turn out different this time.

Five had been talking with himself, trying to figure out a way to find you which only ended in despair but he would never give up on finding you. You were the most important thing to him in life and without you by his side there wasn’t much life in him left. But everything got worse when she showed up.

Five was contemplating his next steps when he heard rubbles that were being shuffled around, most likely made by someone walking on them. Since you had ended up there he was always on guard for the worst to come get you two, much to your dismay sometimes, so as of now his first instinct was to draw his rifle and point it in the direction of the disturbance. 

There a tall woman stood with bright blond hair, dressed in a black leather coat, sunglasses and a small weird looking hat. In her right hand she held a briefcase and with the left she waved at him. Who the hell was this woman?

“Who the hell are you?!” , Five screamed at the lady.

“I’m here to help.” , she answered him and climbed down the rubble to be on his level. 

“Tell me or I shot a bullet through your head right now!”

She ignored his outburst and continued talking. “Because” , she put the briefcase down and took her sunglasses off, “if you wouldn’t hear the offer I’m about to make you and you wouldn’t know what happened to your precious wife, which would be rather tragic giving your current circumstances.” She sat down on an high enough piece of debris and crossed her legs.

Five slightly lowered his weapon but still kept it pointed towards his opponent. He was shocked but stayed quiet as he wanted to know what happened to his (Y/N) and what this woman’s sudden appearance was really about. 

“As I have your full attention now… I am the Handler, I work for an organisation called The Commision. We are tasked with the preservation of the time continuum through manipulation and removals.”

“I don’t understand…” Five truly didn’t understand the meaning of this and the point behind her suddenly being here and telling him this. 

“You see, sometimes people… make choices that alter time. Free will don’t get me started. When that happens we dispatch one of our agents to eliminate the threat.”

Five raisedhis rifle fully at her again which made her chuckle. 

“No, no, no, no. You misunderstand me. You are not a target. You are a recruit. I’ve come to offer you a job, Number Five. We had our eye on you for quite some time… But only on you. But it was worth the time and we think you have a lot of potential. Your survival skills made you quite a celebrity back at headquarters. That and your ability to jump through time.” 

The lady in black took a drag from her cigarette while looking at him, waiting for a reaction.

Five’s mind couldn’t continue functioning and was stuck on four particular words the Handler had said. But only on you… 

“What did you do to her?! What did you do to (Y/N)?!”

She chuckled again and Five swore if one more chuckle or wrong word would come out of her mouth he’d put that bullet right between her eyes. He gritted his teeth while waiting for an answer.

“We did absolutely nothing, Number Five, it was all you.” All him? “You see after the little fight the two of you had she wandered around and lost track of her surroundings. She wanted to climb on top of a ruin to use the view from on top for directions but then it collapsed and buried her right underneath.” 

Could it really be? Five remembered that the night you didn’t came back something collapsed near your base. Was it a building perhaps? Wouldn’t have been the first time he would see or hear it. From the volume of the crash he presumed it was a few miles away but could you really have walked that far? Would you have walked that far when being mad at him? It was possible, after all you never really were the most careful one when it came to the danger of your surroundings. 

“You are saying that I… That I caused it?” 

The usual confident and mature tone of Five’s voice sounded like that of a child again, seeing and feeling the consequences of what he does for the first time. 

The woman nodded and took another drag from her cigarette. “I am giving you the opportunity to leave this place. Actually leave it. Even if it’s without your precious (Y/N). I’m sure she would want you to take this chance after being stuck for so long.”

She knew that her manipulation had worked. There was something you could see in his eyes. The desperation, the longing for his wife, the pain of losing her. You could see how he broke on the inside and that is exactly what she wanted. 

“I could actually leave here? Go… Go back?” But without you? 

Five stuttered out, too overwhelmed with the whole situation.

“In return for five years of service. Once your contract is done, you can retire to the time and place of your choosing with a pension plan to boot.”

But was that what Five really wanted? Being an assassin for some shady time agency and living without his wife?

“If you can alter time why not stop all of this from ever happening? If you can really do that then bring my (Y/N) back.”

“That’s quite impossible, I’m afraid. You see, all of this, it was supposed to happen. The apocalypse was supposed to happen. Your wife was supposed to die. It’s the order of things. I needed to wait until now to make you this offer because of her.”

“That’s insane. The end of everything? The death of my wife?” Five couldn’t believe what this woman was telling him and he sure as hell didn’t wanted to just take the death of (Y/N).

“Not the end of everything. Just the end of… some things. So...” , she made a small pause and sticks her hand out in Five’s direction, “...do we have an agreement?”

Five scoffs but thinks about it for a moment. His gun was already lowered and he looked around. He had spend so much time here but there was nothing left here he could hold onto with the love of his life dead under some ruins of old things that once were. Could he really just leave this place that easily, without you by his side? Would it be worth it? He knew you would have wanted him to take this chance.

He turned towards the woman again with his decision in mind…

You didn’t know what had happened or how you landed in this situation but it was maniacal and excruciating. You had woken up on a bed in a completely white room with no recollection of what had happened besides the fight with Five and that you had stormed off, mad at your partner and done with the whole situation regarding his ego. 

That was a long while ago in your eyes, probably have been two years at this point. Even if this time wasn’t as long as the time you had spent stuck in the apocalypse with Five was, it felt like an even longer time when the love of your life was missing from it.

They never told you what happened to him or why they had gotten you, only making you the offer that if you worked for them you would be allowed to leave to a place and time of your choosing. You hadn’t had much of a choice and took it as an opportunity to maybe one day be able to see life again. See Five again.

But the hole that Five left in you could never be filled again. He made an imprint on your soul and losing him without knowing what had happened drove you insane. Why wouldn’t they tell you? Why would they keep it to themselves?

 Sometimes at night you could still hear his voice ringing in your ears and see his face right before your inner eye. He was so close but you could never grasp onto him, it was torture. In those moments you couldn’t hold your emotions in anymore. Your whole body would start to tremble and the tears would flow like the niagara falls down your cheeks. You would scream your lungs out in agony and would always repeat the same thing. Why?! Why him?! 

All of this pain, sadness and absolute rage that was building up in you made you into a ticking time bomb, and the Commission knew that. Having you in this state of mind, in this state of despair and willingness to do anything could come in handy for special missions… And they didn’t have to wait long for that special occasion to come…

Five spent the last two years assassinating people and putting the time continuum back on track when it was disturbed. Letting this new found work consume him was the only way for him to even deal in the slightest with your death. It still felt like yesterday that he lost you and had to hear it was his fault. 

In moments were he doubted himself and what he was doing was morally correct he heard your voice in his head. Sometimes it were the fights that would start re-playing, when you both were screaming at the top of your lungs, voices filled with annoyance, anger and frustration directed at one another. Those were the hardest memories to re-live because the last time he spoke to you was after one of those god awful fights. He still remembered how your face was distorted by anger and sadness and oh how he wished he had the chance to apologize to you and make it right again…

Other times, rarer times, Five remembered the soft and tender moments with you. The once were you both were happy and would smile, laugh and were everything seemed to be alright. Oh how he loved your smile and your beautiful laugh. It was like art in his eyes and music to his ears. What a beautiful symphony... Nothing he had every experienced could compare to this. To you...

And he missed it, more than he could have ever imagined. The only thing he would feel was pain, neverending pain, and he let it out with anger and resentment towards the people who had saved him. According to Five’s opinion he shouldn’t have been given this opportunity, shouldn’t have been saved. You were the one supposed to be saved! You were the casualty of his wrong-doings! He should have died there in solitude for being the cause of your death.

But Five knew that there was a way to prevent this, to prevent everything that is going to happen and that already happened. To prevent you from seeing your untimely death… He needed to get back to the time before the apocalypse even happened and stop it from ever starting. Five was well aware of the fact that the possibility of you two never getting together was in the room when he went through with stopping it. The time continuum was a very complex thing and would get distorted very easily, you two would probably never be stuck together or even meet, but Five didn’t care. As long as you were alive and well he was ok with everything… You were his world and if it meant giving you up so you would be alright, he would do it in a heartbeat… 

There stood an old man at a fence with a rifle in his hand. This man had a mission and this mission was to kill the current president John F. Kennedy on the 22nd of November 1963 at exact 12:30pm. The target would ride in a presidential motorcade through Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas. 

This mission was an easy one for the trained man, or it should have been. The man knew that this would be the right time to start his plan, his plan in getting to the time before the apocalypse would begin and avert it. His employers never realized that he was just biding his time since the beginning and try to figure out the right equation for his jump… And finally he did.

So at last he broke his contract with them and started to concentrate in challenging his powers to travel through time once again. God when was the last time he used them? 

Loud whooshing noises appeared and his hands started to glow blue and produce an electric bluefield. A portal started to build up in front of him and he knew if he was able to get through it he could save all of them, save her.

The man made his first step and tried with all his power to force himself through…

Saint Petersburg, 25th of July 1904. 

This was supposed to be the last mission for the woman, she had never done anything like this before and she knew very well that they took her to do this mission because of her inexperience. But she didn’t care.

The target was the director of Imperial Russia’s police and later Minister of the Interior. His name was Vyacheslav Konstantinovich von Plehve and the reason for the Commission to kill him was that he seemed to always find a way to survive. He already managed to dodge three attacks and for the Commission it just was two too many times. It needed to be done for the sake of the future so here she was.

Everything was staged so it would look like the Socialist-Revolutionary Combat Organization finally succeeded in their assassination attempts, the only thing to do now was wait until Plehve ’s horse drawn carriage would come by and throw the bomb into it. An easy job with the possibility of dying. What else would you do on a monday?

It was hard for the woman to just stand there and wait, knowing that she was about to murder someone in the next five minutes, but was there really anything she could do? It was part of the deal, part of the contract she signed to do whatever they wanted. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves as best as she can, but still her body shook and her breaths turned shaky. Was this really going to happen?

The sound of hooves clicking on stone and the rattling of wheels being drawn over the uneven ground indicated that the carriage and therefore the target was nearing her position. The woman opened her eyes and gazed in the direction of the oncoming noises. This was it. This was the final moment. Her mind wandered and her long lived life started to flash right before her inner eyes. Most of those memories were of him and she knew that she would be seeing him soon.

With a last deep breath taken she reached back and threw the bomb. When suddenly everything began to spin…

Two figures hit the grassy ground at the same time. These two figures looked like two teenager who could not be older than 13 years old. They were a boy and a girl, both not being seen in ages but now back in a time where they should have belonged a long while ago. When both looked up and saw each other you could see a lot of emotions on their faces but the one that stood out the most in this moment was shock.

“(Y-Y/N)?”

“Five? Is that really you?”

Five had to explain to his family what exactly happened to him in the last few years, how he ended up in the apocalyptic future, that he tried for all those years how to come back and who she was. He never thought he would see her again after everything that happened within the last few years.

When everything was said that had been needed to said he took you up with him to his old room to have some privacy and apologize.

As soon as the door fell shut behind you, you two embraced each other in a tight and long awaited hug. Neither of you wanted or planned on letting go in fear of the other disappearing again. Tears were rolling down your cheeks and you couldn’t prevent a sob from escaping your lips.

“They told me… They told me you died and that it was my fault, (Y/N). I am so sorry for everything.” Five spoke out his thoughts first with a slight shakiness to his voice. 

“I-I thought you were dead too… The Commission never told me what happened… I’ve missed you so much.” You tried to hold back your sobs while speaking which you didn’t succeed in quite that well.

You both didn’t exactly know what to do next but for the time being, being in each other’s arms was enough.

[30somethingontumbler]

So I have developed a slight obsession with the Bucky/Sarah Wilson pairing and decided the only way to get it out of my system is to write a short angst filled fic so here it is. The idea was basically what if Hydra tried to get the winter soldier back by kidnapping someone important to him so I guess enjoy?

James Buchanan Barnes had gotten use to the constant sound of two young boys during his stays with the Wilson’s in Louisiana. The constant sound of play from his sisters while growing up had been something he didn’t even remember missing until he had woken up to AJ and Cass playing with the Shield, that first morning. They also reminded him of long summer days spent running the streets of Brooklyn with Steve the noise had become a comfort to him. That is why when he walked in the back door he knew something was wrong. He had spent most of the morning at the docks helping Sam and Carlos get the boat ready to go for it’s fist day back of shrimping season starting tomorrow. He had promised to be home by 3 to help Cass with his history presentation on the howling commandos, but when he walked in the house was silent, the boys got out of school at 2:30 and they where normally home by 2:45. Sarah had a lot of chaos in her life but the one thing she always managed was making sure they boys had the most consistent schedule known to man, the thought of her possibly running late was almost unimaginable, so where were they?

Right as he was thinking this the front door burst open, Sarah charging through and running directly to him, as she crashed into his chest he noticed her disheveled state her braids normally tied back neatly had come loose and her flannel over shirt was falling off her right shoulder, he had never seen her so distraught, her calm strength had been the thing that attracted him to her the most when he had finally gotten the courage to ask her out about a month after the flag smashers had been dealt with and he and Sam had some time to themselves, that had been almost a year ago and the only time he had seen her control even slip a bit was when Cass had gotten lost at the zoo, and that is when it hit him the silence and Sarah’s distress could only mean one thing, something had happened to the boys his boys.

“Sarah, baby what’s going on where are the boys,” he asked trying to keep his own distress out of his voice and be strong for both of them at the moment. Sarah pulled back and took a couple of steadying breaths.

“I got them from school and we went to pick up a poster board for Casses project, a car had been behind us for a while when we pulled into the dollar store but I didn’t think much of it until we parked and got out to go in and a group of men they took my babies James they took them and told me if I wanted to see them again the the soldier would return to his rightful place, Bucky they just drove off I don’t know what they meant” she said having grown more distressed as she spoke.

Bucky knew exactly what what’s happening, hydra was not gone, they wanted their asset back and they had taken his children to get him. He opened his phone and shot a text to Sam telling him to come home immediately and to bring Carlos, while he waited for Sam he tried to reassure the woman he loved that he would not let anything happen to her baby’s and that he would get them back.

It only took Sam 10 minutes to get to the house knowing when Bucky said emergency he meant it. He walked in to see Bucky on the couch his sister holding on to him for fear life and sobbing. Before he could even ask the super soldier spoke

“Hydra kidnapped the boys, they want the soldier back, I need to leave immediately”

Bucky looked from Sam to Carlos, and picking up on what was needed Carlos went to Sarah and tried to take her so that Bucky could get ready and go after hydra but she pulled tighter to him. Bucky turned to his best girl.

“Sarah baby I need you to go with Carlos I promise I will get our boys back.” He soothed

Sarah nodded her head weakly and pressed and quick kiss to the side of his mouth before letting go and allowing Carlos to take her to her room. As soon and Sarah was out of the room Bucky was out the door and in the garage, he pulled the hey off the top shelf and began to unlock the cabinet that held his tactical gear and weaponry.

“Air lift will be her in 20min what’s the plan buck,” said Sam behind him.

“The plan is I turn myself over to Hydra in exchange for the boys, they are most likely at an old base a mile outside of DC, it was off the records and abandoned but it is the closest one that would have been exposed when Nat leaked everything.”

“No, man you are not going to just give yourself over to Hydra again, I know you love the boys like your own and they are my nephews I want them back just as much as you do but we can find another way that doesn’t involve you going ack to Hydra” said Sam

“We don’t have time Sam, I know Hydra if I don’t turn myself over to them and do it fast then they will start hurting them, and I will not be the reason that they are tortured, the quicker I turn myself over the quicker they are safe, I will figure out how to get out once AJ and Cass are safe” Bucky replied with a scary calm “Sam I need you to trust me I can’t Do this without you, someone has to be there to bring them home after the exchange and it need to be you”

“What about Sarah, I know she needs you.” Sam spoke quietly hoping his friend might see reason.

“The boys are the priority right now, anyway She will get over me, and look at where being with me has gotten her. Her children kidnapped as a barging chip, they will be better off with me, if we are lucky hydra just wants to kill me so that I’m one less hero to fight them and everyone will be free of the poison of knowing James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Buck” Sam began but before he could say more the Quinn jet was landing and Clint was stepping down the ramp.

“I’m here to help how ever I can” said Clint as he met them in the yard.

“Thank you Barton,” said Bucky “ what we need is someone here to make sure Sarah is ok in case hydra decides taking the boys is not enough leverage and come for here too.”

“I can do that,” replied Clint, “Laura and the kids are flying in commercial to provide emotional support they should be here by tonight”

“Thank you Clint” said Bucky “ hopefully they boys will be back with their mother by the end of tomorrow” and with that Bucky was boarding the jet Sam right behind him carrying a shield and his suit in its case.

Chapter 2

By nightfall they were sitting outside of the hydra base waiting for negotiations, Bucky could not stay still he kept pacing back and forth waiting for hydra to make themselves known. Finally the doors opened and out walked 10 men with AJ and Cass being restrained by two very intimidating armed men.

A man stepped it from the formation the leader assumed Bucky and approached stopping about 10feet from Bucky

“Solidat how nice of you to join us” said the leader “You probably don’t remember me but you would remember my father Dr. Arnim Zola, I am Dr. Arnim Zola the second. But I am assuming you are not here to chat we will have plenty of time for that later, right now I am assuming you would like to negotiate, so here are my terms, the Wilson boys for your life and please do not assume you can trick us if you make a single wrong move I have snipers who will end the life’s of the Wilson children before you blink,” as the Dr. Zola the second spoke red lasers appeared on the boys at least a dozen from every direction, Bucky was not getting out of this it was his freedom or his children and he knew there was no choice to even make.

“Well since you have such good back up will you at least let me say goodbye to the boys before I have to give up my freedom” he said hoping he could take just a moment to let them know how much they meant o him before he would be forced back into slavery to Hydra never to see them again.

“I suppose we can give you that last request Sargent Barnes,” said Zola “release the children.”

As soon as they where no longer being man handled by the hydra agents the boys where running to Bucky as they neared him he fell to his knees embracing the little men who he had come to see as his boys, his children, they both grabbed on to him as tight as they could holding on for dear life.

“Bucky you can’t go with them, you can’t leave us” cried Cass into his shoulder

“We don’t want to loose another dad” cried AJ into his other shoulder

His boys cry’s almost broke him and for a moment he tightened his grip on them before pulling back to look in at them one last time.

“If I had a choice I would never leave you boys, and I don’t want you thinking this is your fault sometime bad people do things that we can’t change and it is not your fault,” he said hoping to give his boys one last lesson before he had to leave them forever. “Thank you for letting me be your dad, even if it was only for a little while, you boys and your mom have been the best thing that has ever come into my life,” he paused trying to compose himself, “now I need you to on do me a favor ok, I need you to tell your mom, tell her that she made me a new man and that I would not trade a second for anything and that I love her. Can you do that for me.”

The boys nodded their heads and wrapped their arms around him one more time. Bucky held them for a moment before he stood back up placing a kiss in each of their heads with a final whispered I love you before letting them go and having them run back to Sam who had stayed in civilian clothes by the request of hydra not wanting captain America to have his shield or wings to give them an advantage over the hydra agents. As soon as they were safely in Sam’s grasp Bucky turned to the hydra agents, disabled his arm and placed it behind him on the ground and slowly began to make his way toward the agents waiting to capture him.

Suddenly as of out of no ware all of the guns red dots that had been aimed at the boys and himself turned onto Zola, and out the agents all turned on each other as tendrils of red magic swirled around them and Wanda descended behind them while Zola sunk through a portal made on the ground.

“Hello Sargent Barnes it seems like you could use a bit of assistance” came the voice of Stephen Strange from his left

“Next time hydra tries to grow its heads back true giving me a call before offering yourself up on a silver platter, Barnes” came the voice of Nick Furry from his right at shield agents flooded the area taking the hydra personal into custody, a simple task thanks to Wandas mind control.

Before Bucky could say anything to either man AJ and Cass were running towards him and without hesitation he scooped both boys into his arms lifting them as if they weighed nothing. They held on to Bucky as if he would disappear if they released him Bucky made eye contact over their heads with Sam who turned to address their backup.

“Doctor, director thank you for the assist” said Sam. “You guys really showed fast, and Wanda did you learn how to voodoo so many guys at once”

All of the hydra men having been taken care of Wanda had made her way over to the group.

“The suburbs” she replayed.

Bucky looked at them all over the boys heads

“You have no idea what this means to me, thank you all of you” said Bucky “I know their is probably more we need to discuss but I need to get the boys home to their mother”

“No worries Bucky,” said Wanda “ I think we understand the need for a mother to know her children are alright” there was a sadness in Wandas eyes with that last comment and Bucky made a note to talk with the young woman once he go his family home and settled.

Chapter 3

The boys refused to leave Buckys arms for the entire ride back home on the jet and he was just fine with that, he sat with one boy on each knee there little arms thrown loosely around his neck heads resting on his shoulders, he periodically would kiss each of their heads saying a quick prayer of thanks that not only did he still have his freedom but he got to be in these boys lives even for just a little longer. When the jet landed the boys tightened their grip on his shoulders and he lifted them with the ease that the serum flowing in his veins allowed. As soon as his feet left the ramp Sarah had them all pulled into her embrace kissing each boys head before pullycas into her arms and Laying her hand on AJs back, Bucky guided them into the house and up to the boys room both boys being completely worn out and barley awake after the adrenaline had worn off on the ride back to Louisiana, Sarah placed Cass in his bed while Bucky put AJ in his placing another kiss on his head before switching places with Sarah and repeating the process with Cass, as he began to pull away from him Cass reached out his hand grabbing Buckys metal are and pulling him back.

“You will be here when we wake up right Dad?” His little voice said full of fatigue.

Buckys voice caught in his throat at being called dad for the first time and from across the room AJ added

“You won’t leave us will you dad?”

Bucky cleared his throat and looked between the boys

“Nothing in this works could make me ever leave my boys, I will be here in the morning, and as many mornings as you will have me for the rest of my days, you two are my world, I love you, now sleep boys I will see you in the morning”

Sarah and he stepped into the hall wordlessly and quietly made their way down the stairs as soon as they hit the bottom Sarah was pulling him toward her and placing a searing kiss on his mouth, pulling him flush to him he returned her kiss with just as much passion and emotion, he had almost lost everything today. And I’m that moment when he thought everything was gone he decided that if he got back to her he would ask her a question the most important question of his life. And when they finally ran out of air and had to break the kiss as soon as he has enough air he spoke

“Marry me, Sarah, marry me.”

“Bucky” she said, “you don’t have to, today was heavy don’t make a decision you might not be ready for because of a stress filled day”

“I’m not” he relayed “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, have for a while, I want to be officially the father of those two boys up there, I want to raise them together and grow old with you, and I want to marry you! I want the world to know that James Buchanan Barnes is Going to do everything in his power to protect this family and I want to call you my wife”

“If you are sure” Sarah said “ the of corse it is a yes, 100 times yes, I could not ask for a better man and I want you to help me raise our boys, you were willing to give up you freedom and your life for our children and I have every faith that you will keep us safe and love us forever so it’s a definite yes.”

Bucky could not hold his joy in he lifted Sarah into his arms and spun her around twice dropping he back to her feet he kissed her again with all the love in his heart. The next morning James Buchanan Barnes woke to the sounds of his children playing outside his window with their uncle giving he and Sarah a few more hours to sleep but Bucky simply laid in bed enjoying the feel of his fiancé in his arms and the sound of his children’s laughter coming in through the window.

Mans that’s it if you liked it please leave a comment or just drop a like thank you!

[babyangellee]

Critical Condition

AHHH PART 3!

Summary- Upon further assessment, your injuries are a lot worse than expected

Warnings- too much cuteness and angst 

Word Count- 1.7k

AN- Please don’t kill me, I know it kind of short but I hope you love it!

[Part 1] [Part 2] 

The doctor quietly walked into the waiting room to see the group of agents, all of them were asleep except one. Spencer sat with his head in his hands, getting more anxious as the time ticked by. 

 "Y/N Y/L/N?" The doctor spoke causing Spencer's head to whip up immediately, quickly tapping JJ who was resting next to him. She jolted awake seeing the doctor, she tapped Emily which started a chain reaction. Soon enough all the agents were wide awake waiting for the doctor to continue. 

"Hi, my name is Doctor Feller. Let me start by saying that Y/N is definitely a fighter. When she came in we assessed that she had acute hypothermia, a concussion, and two stab wounds. Upon further examination, we realized that the stab wound to her abdomen was made at an angle and pierced her left lung. We were able to stabilize her long enough for surgery. We did have to restart her heart once but she bounced back right away. She is out of surgery and in the ICU now." 

No one knew how to process the doctor's words. They all stood there in shock trying to think of something to say or do. "Can we see her?" Your mother finally spoke up after a moment of silence. "She is still in critical condition but you may see her, I ask only two at a time in the room." Everyone nodded knowing that your mom and Spencer would go in first, there was no question about it. 

The doctor led them to your room and opened the door for them. Spencer walked in first, upon seeing you he closed his eyes. You laid there hooked up to machines and IVs. Your normally glowing skin was pale and your lips were blue. Your mom sighed and sat down in one of the chairs by your bed, Spencer following suit sitting on the other side. 

 Liv reached out and grabbed your hand with hers and brought it up to her mouth to kiss your knuckles. She couldn't stand to see you like this, she had already lost one of her children, she definitely couldn't lose the other. She was horrified when Hotch had informed her that it was Danny that did this to you. Her immediate reaction was to call her sister and scream at her for what her son had done, what pain he had inflicted on the family. Of course, her sister was just as shocked and scared as your mother was, begging to be kept informed of your condition. 

 Your mom was brought out of her thoughts when she heard Spencer talking. "Liv?" He asked gently. She looked up at him nodding for him to continue what he was going to say. "Can I show you something?" He was quiet and careful with his words, like maybe if he spoke too loud or in a certain tone, something bad would happen. "Of course sweetheart," She responded, matching his tone and volume. 

He slowly took the hand that wasn't holding yours and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small velvet box and handed it to your mom. She gasped reaching out and grabbing it. She let go of your hand to open the box and saw a gorgeous diamond ring inside. "I've been carrying that around for three months, waiting for the right time to ask." He slightly chuckled to himself. He wanted everything about his proposal to be perfect because to him you were the most perfect girl in the world.  

 "She's going to love it." Liv breathed out examining the beautiful rose gold ring. "I hope so, I had to recruit JJ and Will to help me pick it out. It took us weeks to decide." He explained, remembering them yelling at each other in the middle of a jewelry store while the worker tried to call them down. That was just the first trip, after that, they decided that they needed to bring Will along to play mediator.  

 After about an hour Spencer and Liv finally stood up and left the room wanting to give everyone else a chance to see you. Emily and JJ went in next, they only stayed for a few minutes, the sight of you being too hard to look at. Then Rossi and Hotch went, leaving Derek and Penelope to go in last. 

 Seeing you was hard on Derek, you were like a little sister to him and he hated seeing his family hurt. Seeing you tied to that chair in pain was still burned into the inside of his eyelids and all he wanted was to wake up and realize that this was all some sick, twisted nightmare. He'd wake up on the jet to see you and Spencer sitting across from him playing an intense game of chess (that you were of course losing) giggling about some stupid little fact. But it wasn't a dream. This was real life and you were her sitting in front of him in the hospital. 

 Much like JJ and Emily, Derek and Garcia couldn't stand to see you like that so they made their visit brief. Within 45 minutes, Spencer was back in the room holding your hand, while your mom went to go get some food and coffee for everyone. 

"Hey Y/N." He breathed tears forming in his eyes again. "I don't know if you can hear me or not but I hope you can. I love you, and I really need you. I can't do this without you, I don't want to do this without you. So I need you to keep fighting and to wake up and come back to me, come back to all of us. I need you to wake up because Y/N I want more than anything to marry you and grow old with you. So you need to wake up. You need to come back. Please." Spencer couldn't stop the sob that racked his body as he stared at you. 

 After a while Hotch had told everyone to go home and get some rest, they could visit you tomorrow. Your mom and Spencer had stayed behind, wanting to be the first ones updated if anything happened. It's a good thing that they did because around seven in the morning Doctor Feller came in to do his checkup. 

 "Good news! Her O2 stats are going up, at this rate we should be able to take her off the ventilator tomorrow and wean her off some of the medication." He smiled writing something down on his clipboard. "What does that mean?" Your mom asked sitting up for her sleeping position on the couch in the room. "That means she's on the path to waking up real soon." With that, he grabbed his clipboard and left. Spencer and Liv released a breath neither realized they were holding. 

The next couple of days were painstakingly long for everyone, you weren't getting any better but you weren't getting any worse either. Everyone came by to visit you multiple times and your mom even called your dad. Spencer was originally taken aback by it knowing that your dad was a touchy subject with your mom after he left he still wanted to stay in contact with you and Liam. After Liam died it was weird, Your mom and Dad didn't speak to each other anymore, and you hardly went to see him. After the funeral, you didn't see him again until a year later at your high school graduation. He knew that your parents hadn't spoken in twelve years. 

Hotch offered to have an Agent fly out to Pasadena on the jet and get him but he declined. He said he would be on the next flight out and he was. He arrived a day after he got the call. 

 "You must be Mr. Y/L/N, I'm Spencer." This was a rare exception to Spencer's rule about handshakes. Despite the current situation he wanted to make a good impression on your father. He reached his hand out giving your dad a firm handshake. “Call me Kevin.” While the time passed Spencer got to know your dad and even told him about the ring. Your dad gave his approval and his blessing which meant a lot to Spencer, seeing as they had just met.

 Days turned into a week before the doctor finally told them that you were stable enough to be taken off the ventilator. A day later they started taking you off some of the medications and you were scheduled to wake up. "She should be waking up soon, she's going to be a little out of it but she will definitely be happy to see some familiar faces." And with that Doctor Feller walked away urging someone to go in. After much discussion, Spencer decided that he was going to go in alone. 

 When he walked in he could have sworn his heart melted. You were starting to look better already, your skin wasn't as pale, your lips were back to their normal color, and your chest was rising and falling all on its own. He sat down next to you and grabbed your hand giving it a small squeeze, but what he didn't expect was to feel you squeeze right back as you started to stir and your eyes fluttered open. 

"Hi love," Spencer breathed out with a huge grin on his face. You mustered up all your strength and gave a small smile back whispering a hey back. He looked at you before reaching out and brushing a hair out of your face and then reaching down and grabbing your hand again. "Listen there is something I need to say and it really can't wait any longer." He was talking fast which he only did when he was nervous. You just squeezed his hand again and nodded to the best of your ability urging him to continue. He didn't know if this was the right timing or not but this is something he needed to do and he needed to do it now. He just hoped that you liked it because this was a big deal and he needed it to be just right. 

"Will you marry me?"

Taglist: @xogiaxo @stxrryspencer @reidloversisforever @chevyimpala00067 @spncersreid @reidsmemory @spencerreidisbootiful @kianagilder-blog @illuxions-x @spencersglasses​ 

[flightfoot]

Tower of Nero quotes

So since I’m planning on writing some analyses for Tower of Nero, I decided to assemble my usual catalogue of quotes, so I won’t have to constantly flip through looking for them and typing them up hopefully. This is based on the kinds of analyses and things I want to talk about or just found interesting, but hey, I figure other people may find this useful as well.

Beware of spoilers, because no duh.

It was a silly thing to say, but some stubborn part of me insisted that Percy Jackson must be here somewhere, waiting to do dangerous tasks for me. That was his job!

But no. That was the old Apollo’s way of thinking - the Apollo I’d been the last time I was in this apartment. Percy was entitled to his own life. He was trying to have one, and - oh, the bitter truth! - it had nothing to do with me. (TON 37)

“Paul...” I ventured. “Aren’t you worried about having us here? We might endanger your family.”

The corners of his mouth tightened. “I was at the Battle of Manhattan. I’ve heard about some of the horrible things Sally went through - fighting the Minotaur, being imprisoned in the Underworld. And Percy’s adventures?” He shook his head in respect. “Percy has put himself on the line for us, for his friends, for the world, plenty of times. So, can I risk giving you a place to catch your breath, some fresh clothes, and a hot meal? Yeah, how could I not?” (TON 40-41)

What was it about kindness? In my time as Lester Papadopoulos, I had learned to stand up under horrendous verbal abuse and constant life-threatening violence, but the smallest act of generosity could ninja-kick me right in the heart and break me into a blubbering mess of emotions.

Damn you, Paul and Sally, and your cute baby too!

How could I repay them for providing me with this temporary refuge? I felt like I owed them the same thing I owed Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood, the Waystation and the Cistern, Piper and Frank and Hazel and Leo and, yes, especially Jason Grace. I owed them everything.

How could I not? (TON 41)

Sally Jackson crossed her arms. In spite of the grim matters we were discussing, she smiled. “You’ve grown up.”

I assumed she was talking about Meg. Over the last few months, my young friend had indeed gotten taller and- Wait. Was Sally referring to me?

My first thought: Preposterous! I was four thousand years old. I didn’t grow up.

She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “The last time you were here, you were so lost. So... well, if you don’t mind me saying-”

“Pathetic,” I blurted out. “Whiny, entitled, selfish. I felt terribly sorry for myself.”

Meg nodded along with my words as if listening to her favorite song. “You still feel sorry for yourself.”

“But now,” Sally said, sitting back again, “you’re more... human, I suppose.”

There was that word again: human, which not long ago I would’ve considered a terrible insult. Now, every time I heard it, I thought of Jason Grace’s admonition: Remember what it’s like to be human.

He hadn’t meant all the terrible things about being human, of which there were plenty. He meant the best things: standing up for a just cause, putting others first, having stubborn faith that you could make a difference, even if it meant you had to die to protect your friends and what you believed it. These were not the kinds of feelings gods had... well, ever.

Sally Jackson meant the term in the same way Jason had - as something worth aspiring to. (TON 45-46)

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to oppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything. (TON 57)

I already felt disconnected from reality. I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t know who I was, who I was supposed to be, or even who I wanted to be. I was getting emotional whiplash from my exhilarating surges of godlike power, my depressing crashes back into mortal frailty, and my adrenaline-charged bouts of terror. In such a condition, approaching Dionysus was asking for trouble. Just being near him could widen the cracks in anyone’s psyche. (TON 76-77)

Dionysus eyed me with a mixture of shock and horror, much the same way I looked at myself in the mirror these days. (TON 77)

In retaliation, Dionysus decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair, or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared. (TON 78)

“Dad!” Will shot to his feet. He ran down the steps and tackled me in a hug.

That’s when I lost it. I wept openly.

My beautiful son, with his kind eyes, his healer’s hands, his sun-warm demeanour. Somehow, he had inherited all my best qualities and none of the worst. (TON 80)

“I figured you’d come back to camp eventually,” he said. “I hoped you would, anyway. I wanted you to feel at home.”

It was enough to start me crying again. Gods, I was an emotional wreck. Will hadn’t inherited his thoughtfulness from me. That was all his mother, Naomi, bless her kind heart. (TON 87-88)

“You’ve grown up!” Kayla gripped my shoulders with her archery-strong hands. The June sunlight made her freckles more pronounced. The green tinted tips of her orange hair made me think of Halloween-pumpkin candy. “You’re two inches taller at least! Isn’t he, Austin?” (TON 88)

I wanted to tell them that they were all so young. Their lifespans were a blink of an eye compared to my four millennia. I should be wrapping them all in warm blankets and giving them cookies rather than expecting them to be heroes, slay monsters, and buy me clothes. (TON 90)

“Nico has been having... I guess you’d call it post-traumatic stress disorder. He gets flashbacks. He has waking dreams. Dionysus has been trying to help him make sense of it all. The worst part is the voices.” (TON 93)

I frowned at Dionysus. “You could always, oh, I don’t know, decide to help.”

He scoffed. “You know as well as I do, Apollo, that quests like this are demigod business. As for advising, guiding, helping... that’s really more Chiron’s job.” (TON 99)

I wondered, bitterly, if there was anyone I hadn’t neglected, hurt, or overlooked during my time as a mortal - strike that - during my four thousand years of existence, period. I could only be grateful that my shoes were not sentient. Or my underwear. Gods, I would never be able to stop apologizing. (TON 110)

“I betrayed you once,” she said. “Right here in these woods.” She didn’t sound sad or ashamed about it, the way she once might have. She spoke with a sort of dreamy disbelief, as if trying to recall the person she’d been six months ago. That was a problem I could relate to. (TON 114)

“I have to go back,” Meg insisted. “I have to see if I’m strong enough.”

Peaches cuddled up next to her as if he had no such concerns.

Meg patted his leafy wings. “Maybe I’ve gotten stronger. But when I go back to the palace, will it be enough? Can I remember to be who I am now and not... who I was then?”

I didn’t think she expected an answer. But it occurred to me that perhaps I should be asking myself that same question.

Since Jason Grace’s death, I’d spent sleepless nights wondering if I could keep my promise to him. Assuming I made it back to Mount Olympus, could I remember what it was like to be human, or would I slip back into being the self-centered god I used to be?

Change is a fragile thing. It requires time and distance. Survivors of abuse, like Meg, have to get away from their abusers. Going back to that toxic environment was the worst thing she could do. And former arrogant gods like me couldn’t hang around other arrogant gods and expect to stay unsullied.

But I supposed Meg was right. Going back was the only way to see how strong we’d gotten, even if it meant risking everything. (TON 114-115)

“So now you believe the Trogs exist?” Nico asked.

“I am learning to believe in all sorts of things that can kill me!” (TON 136)

If my trials as a mortal had done anything, they had shown me how many times I’d abandoned, forgotten, and failed my Oracle over the centuries. I could not abandon Rachel in the same way. I’d neglected the basic truth that they did not serve me; I was supposed to serve them. (TON 158)

Nico smirked. “Friends, meet my glow-in-the-dark boyfriend.”

“Could you not make a big deal about it?” Will asked. (TON 163)

“Rachel, I’m scared,” I admitted. “It was one thing thinking about putting myself in danger. But the entire camp? Everyone?”

Strangely, this comment seemed to please her.

She took my hand. “I know, Apollo. And the fact that you’re worried about other people? That’s beautiful. But you’ll have to trust me.” (TON 175)

When he’d told me to remember being human, he’d meant building on pain and tragedy, overcoming it, learning from it. That was something gods never did. We just complained.

To be human is to move forward, adapt, to believe in your ability to make things better. That is the only way to make the pain and sacrifice mean something. 

I met Rachel’s gaze.”I trust you. I’ll make things right. Or I will die trying.”

The strange thing was, I meant it. A world in which the future was controlled by a giant reptile, where hope was suffocated, where heroes sacrificed their lives for nothing, and pain and hardship could not yield a better life... that seemed much worse than a world without Apollo. (TON 176-177)

Not one deserved to be snuffed out by Nero’s cruelty. The revelation stunned me. I had become a human-life hoarder! (TON 182)

“I’m so sorry”, I managed at last. 

“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.”

“You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”

Jason tilted his head. “I mean... sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”

He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos... even a god. (TON 218-219)

As a god of healing, I knew something about psychology and mental health, though I’ll admit I did not always best practices to myself. (TON 225)

I knew my anxiety about my own weakness was getting mixed up with my anxiety about Meg. Even if I somehow made my way back to Mount Olympus, I didn’t trust myself to hold onto the important things I’d learned as a mortal. That made me doubt Meg’s ability to stay strong in her old toxic home.

The similarities between Nero’s household and my family on Mount Olympus made me increasingly uneasy. The idea that we gods were just as manipulative, just as abusive as the worst Roman emperor... Surely that couldn’t be true. 

Oh, wait. Yes, it could. Ugh. I hated clarity. (TON 225-226)

I found myself back in the caverns of Delphi, volcanic gasses layering the air, the dark shape of Python moving heavily in the background.

“So, I have you again,” he gloated. “You shall perish-”

“I don’t have time for you right now.” My voice surprised me almost as mush as it did the reptile.

“What?”

“Gotta go.” I lashed the reins of my dream.

“How dare you! You cannot-”

I rocketed into reverse like I was tied to a rubber band. (TON 233)

We both knew that, under most circumstances, Meg was fully capable of rescuing herself. But with Nero... I suspected Lu, like me, wanted Meg to be strong enough to save herself. We couldn’t make the hard choices for her. Yet it was excruciating to stand by while Meg’s sense of independence was tested. (TON 244)

But now, after knowing Lu, I wondered how many of these Germani really wanted to serve Nero, and how many had been conscripted into his service with no choice. Enough people had died. My grudge was with only one person, Nero, and one reptile, Python. (TON 250)

“Well, no, not Mr. D,” Nico said. “You know how it is. Gods don’t fight demigod battles. Present company excepted.” (TON 263)

Austin and I had gotten to know each other - not just as god and mortal, or father and son, but as two people working side by side, helping each other get through our often messed-up lives. (TON 273)

My heart broke. Meg looked elegant, older, and quite beautiful. She also looked utterly, completely no longer herself. Nero had tried to strip way everything she had been, every choice she’d made, and replace her with someone else - a proper young lady of the Imperial Household. (TON 285-286)

I tried to contain my horror. “Meg,” I said. “There’s only one person you need to listen to here: yourself. Trust yourself.”

I meant it, despite all my doubts and fears, despite all my complaints over the months about Meg being my master. She had chosen me, but I had also chosen her. I did trust her - not in spite of her past with Nero, but because of it. I had seen her struggle. I’d admired her hard-won progress. I had to believe in her for my own sake. She was - gods help me - my role model. (TON 293)

“I didn’t kill my father,” she said, her voice small and hard. “I didn’t cut off Lu’s hands or enslave those dryads or twist us all up inside.” She swept a hand towards the other demigods of the household. “You did that, Nero. I hate you.” (TON 295)

“Lu has immortality,” I said, “because you’re immortal. The two of you have been connected for centuries.” 

Nero’s eye twitched. “But that’s my eternal life! You can’t trade my life for my life!” (TON 309)

Python had always been the real power behind the throne - a bigger puppet master than Nero’s mother ever had been. Like most bullies, Nero had been shaped and manipulated by an even stronger abuser. (TON 310)

Nero hissed. “Ungrateful child. The Beast-”

“The Beast is dead.” Meg tapped the side of her head. “I killed it.” (TON 311)

Rachel pulled out a blue plastic hairbrush and threw it at the nearest barbarian, beaning him in the eye and making him howl. 

Sorry I underestimated you, Rachel, I thought distantly. You’re actually kind of a hairbrush ninja. (TON 313)

"You - cannot - take - it - Lester!” Nero said through clenched teeth, pulling with all his might.

“I am Apollo,” I said, tugging the opposite direction. “And I - revoke - your - divinity!” (TON 317)

“Hasn’t he proved himself already?” Artemis demanded. My heart ached, seeing my sister again. “He’s suffered more in these last few months than even you could have expected! Whatever lesson you were trying to teach him, dear Father, he’s learned it!” (TON 319)

“This has gone on long enough. Too much loss. Too much pain. But if my husband insists on seeing it through, the least you all can do is not talk about Apollo as if he’s already dead!” (TON 320)

Then I was back in my mortal form, looking up not at the Olympians, but at the faces of my friends (TON 320)

I alternated drinking my nectar and Mountain Dew, which was sort of like alternating between premium gasoline and regular gasoline. (TON 323)

Meg had thrown away her sandals, braving bare feet despite the arrows, rubble, bones, and discarded blades that littered the floor. Someone had given her an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt, which she’d put on over her dress, making her allegiance clear. She still looked older and more sophisticated, but she also looked like my Meg. (TON 323)

I considered that perhaps courage was a self-perpetuating cycle, like abuse. Nero had hoped to create miniature, tortured versions of himself because that made him feel stronger. Meg had found the strength to oppose him because she saw how much her foster siblings needed her to succeed, to show them another way.

There were no guarantees. The imperial demigods had dealt with so much for so long, some of them might never be able to come back from the darkness. Then again, there had been no guarantees for Meg, either. There were still no guarantees that I would come back from the caverns of Delphi. All any of us could do was try, and hope that in the end, the virtuous cycle would break the vicious one. (TON 324)

Even if I survived, I would not be the same. The best I could hope for was to emerge from Delphi with my godhood restored, which was what I had wanted and dreamed about for the past half a year. So why did I feel so reluctant about leaving behind the broken, battered form of Lester Papadopolous?

“Just come back to me dummy, that’s an order.” Meg gave me a gentle hug, conscious of my injuries. Then she got to her feet and ran off to check on the imperial demigods - her former family, and possibly her family yet to be. (TON 327)

“We all have a duty to rescue each other, wouldn’t you say?”

I nodded, wondering how the centaur had become so wise over the centuries, and why that same wisdom had escaped me until I had been Lesterized. (TON 328)

I felt a tingly sensation of power building just under my skin - perhaps my divine self, trying to reassert itself in the proximity of my old arch-enemy. I hoped it was that and not just my mortal body combusting (TON 332)

Deep breath. This was for Meg. This was for Jason. This was for everyone who had fought and sacrificed to drag my sorry mortal butt from quest to quest for the last six months, just to get me this chance at redemption (TON 333)

And yet, along with humility, I’d learned something else: getting humiliated is the beginning, not the end. Sometimes you need a second shot, and a third, and a fourth. (TON 335)

“YOU CAN’T HIDE!” Python bellowed. “YOU ARE NO GOD!”

This pronouncement hit me like a bucket of ice water. It didn’t carry the weight of prophecy, but it was true nonetheless. At the moment, I wasn’t sure what I was. I certainly wasn’t my old godly self. I wasn’t exactly Lester Papadopolous either. My flesh steamed. Pulses of light flickered under my skin, like the sun trying to break through storm clouds. When had that started?

I was between states, morphing as rapidly as Python himself. I was no god. I would never be the same old Apollo again. But in this moment, I had the chance to decide what I would become, even if that new existence only lasted a few seconds.

The realization burned away my delirium.

“I won’t hide,” I muttered. “I won’t cower. That’s not who I will be.” (TON 339-340)

I had done my best. Surely, Zeus would see that and be proud. Maybe he would send down a lightning bolt, blast Python into tiny pieces, and save me!

As soon as I thought this, I realized how foolish it was. Zeus didn’t work that way. He would not save me anymore than Nero had saved Meg. I had to let go of that fantasy. I had to save myself. (TON 341)

The prophecy came true. Apollo fell, and Python fell with me. (TON 346)

The river sapped my memories, my emotions, my will. It pried open the burning cracks in my Lester Papadopoulos shell, making me feel raw and unmade like a molting dragonfly. (TON 348)

I held onto my purpose. I remembered Meg McCaffrey’s last order: Come back to me, my dummy. Her face remained clear in my mind. She had been abandoned so many times, used so cruelly. I would not be another cause of grief for her. I knew who I was. I was her dummy. (TON 348)

Wow, Apollo, you marvel. How did you survive? 

I didn’t.

But at that point I was no longer Lester Papadopoulos. I was not Apollo. I was not sure who or what I was (TON 349)

“Have you learned?” she asked.

If I hadn’t felt so weak, I might have laughed. I had learned, all right. I was still learning. 

At that moment, I realized I’d been thinking of the Styx the wrong way all these months. She hadn’t put destruction in my path. I’d caused it myself. She hadn’t gotten me into trouble. I was the trouble. She had merely called out my recklessness. (TON 353)

Why couldn’t I let go, then? I kept clinging to the edge with stubborn determination. My wayward pinky found its grip again. I had promised Meg I would return to her. I hadn’t sworn it as an oath, but that didn’t matter. If I said I would do it, I had to follow through.

Perhaps that was what Styx had been trying to teach me: it wasn’t about how loudly you swore your oath, or what sacred words you used. It was about whether or not you meant it. And whether your promise was worth making.

Hold on, I told myself, to both the rock and the lesson.

My arms seemed to become more substantial. My body felt more real. The lines of light wove together until my form was a mesh of solid gold.

Was it just a last hopeful hallucination, or did I just pull myself up? (TON 354)

I rose with a sob and hugged her tight. All my pain was gone. I felt perfect. I felt... I almost thought, like myself again, but I wasn’t even sure what that meant anymore.

I was a god again. For so long, my deepest desire was to be restored. But instead of feeling elated, I wept on my sister’s shoulder. I felt like if I let go of Artemis, I would fall back into Chaos. Huge parts of my identity would shake loose, and I would never be able to find all the puzzle pieces. (TON 355)

My chest was bronze and perfectly sculpted. My muscular arms bore no scars or fiery lines glowing beneath the surface. I was gorgeous, which made me feel melancholy. I had worked hard for those scars and bruises. All the suffering my friends and I had been through... (TON 355)

I felt awkward and uncomfortable in this form, as if I’d been given a Rolls-Royce to drive but no car insurance to go with it. I’d felt so much more comfortable in my economy-compact Lester. (TON 357)

I remembered my dream of the throne room - the other Olympians gambling on my success or failure. I wondered how much money they’d lost.

What could I possibly say to them? I no longer felt like one of them. I wasn’t one of them. (TON 358)

My poor Hyacinthus. Had I really created these flowers to commemorate him, or to wallow in my own grief and guilt? I found myself questioning many things I had done over the centuries. Strangely enough, this uneasiness felt somewhat reassuring.

I studied my smooth tan arms, wishing again that I had retained a few scars. Lester Papadopoulos had earned his cuts, bruises, broken ribs, blistered feet, acne... Well perhaps not the acne. No one deserves that. But the rest had felt more like symbols of victory than laurels, And better commemorations of loss than hyacinths. (TON 358-359)

I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked (TON 359)

As much as we pretended to be a council of twelve, in truth we were a tyranny. Zeus was less a benevolent father and more an iron-fisted leader with the biggest weapons and the ability to strip us of our immortality if we offended him. (TON 366)

My father coughed into his fist. “ I know you think your punishment was harsh, Apollo.”

I did not answer. I tried my best to keep my expression polite and neutral.

“But you must understand,” Zeus continued, “only you could have overthrown Python. Only you could have freed the Oracles. And you did it, as I expected. The suffering, the pain along the way... regrettable, but necessary. You have done me proud.”

Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let’s be honest: some fathers don’t deserve that. Some fathers aren’t capable of it.

I suppose I could have raged at him and called him bad names. We were alone. He probably expected it. Given his awkward self-consciousness at the moment, he might even have let me get away with it unpunished.

But it would not have changed him. It would not have made anything different between us.

You cannot change a tyrant by trying to out-ugly him. Meg could never have changed Nero, any more than I could change Zeus. I could only try to be different than him. Better. More... human. And to limit the time I spent around him to as little as possible. (TON 367-368)

I still didn’t feel like my old self. I didn’t want to feel like my old self. (TON 371)

When I’d first met Meg, she’d assured me that Lester’s appearance was perfectly normal. At the time, the notion had horrified me. Now I found it reassuring. (TON 371)

Ugly weeping would not have been appropriate for a major Olympian god, so that’s exactly what I did. (TON 372)

To be honest, though, I could no longer consider my time on Earth a punishment. Terrible, tragic, nearly impossible... yes. But calling it a punishment gave Zeus too much credit. It had been a journey - an important one I made for myself, with the help of my friends. I hoped... I believed that the grief and pain had shaped me into a better person. I had forged a more perfect Lester from the dregs of Apollo. I would not trade those experiences for anything. And if I had been told I had to be Lester for another hundred years... Well, I could think of worse things. At least I wouldn’t be expected to show up at the Olympian solstice meetings. (TON 373)

She laid her hand on my arm. “You haven’t forgotten. I can tell.”

She meant about being human, about honoring the sacrifices that had been made. 

“No,” I said. “I won’t forget. The memory is part of me now.” (TON 390)

It would have been inconceivable to the old Apollo, but the idea of aging in this lovely desert tree house, watching Meg grow into a strong and powerful woman... that didn’t sound bad at all. (TON 394)

Call on me. I will be there for you. (TON 396)

[staceysonier]

Little Red (MxF) *SFW* Part 1

*Gnoll Boyfriend!*

*Little Red Riding Hood~ish*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remembered playing in the woods behind my grandmother's property when I was a little girl. There was this little dog-like creature that I played with--and though my 18-year-old brain has forgotten what his name was, I assume now that he was a wolf, a pup, and I thank God that I never met his parents because I surely would've been torn to pieces.

For some reason, I remember him running with me, but on his hind legs--like that was something that wolves did.

We only played when I went to my grandmothers and that wasn't but maybe once or twice a week, and then as I got older, it turned into once or twice a month and then once or twice a year...

Until I stopped going altogether.

And as my grandmother got older and none of her children or her grandchildren went out to her small clearing in the forest, the grass grew tall again, the trees and vines and poisonous plants invaded and it had been almost impossible to get to her by car.

"You have to go, Blanchette," my mother insisted with tears in her eyes after receiving a letter from a doctor who lived around my grandmother.

I huffed because I hated that name and I also didn't want to give up a whole weekend away from my friends just to go trudge through the woods to find out that my grandmother was fine and just as crazy as she had always been.

Remembering when I used to go stay the weekend with her, I recall her telling me of all of the creatures in the woods, the guardians and the monsters alike who would either help or hinder me depending on who I came across so I should stay close to the treeline.

There had only been one time that I got too far away and needed help and that's when I met my dog-like friend.

I scoffed quietly at the rambunctious imagination I had when I was a child.

"Fine," I huffed and went back upstairs to pack.

Going through my closet, I began to pick out the things that seemed the warmest as it wasn't snowing yet but it was still rather chilly out and I could only imagine what the temperature would be like in the woods.

Once I had a small bag packed, I stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen to tell my mother goodbye and that it was nice knowing her.

"Don't be so dramatic, Blanche, I'm sure it'll be fine. The animals stay away from your grandmother's house and if you leave now, you'll be able to make it there with enough light to actually get through the woods and to her house. I love you," she ushered me out of the back door and toward the carport.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled but sat down in the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition.

I was just about to pull out of the driveway when my mother came running out of the house and toward my car. I kept my foot on the brake but rolled down my window as she ran up to it with a piece of red fabric that billowed behind her and what looked to be a picnic basket.

"Here," she huffed out of breath before shoving the material and the basket through the window, "This is that red cloak your grandmother made you for Christmas a few years ago, you remember? Wear it when you see her and maybe it'll cheer her up. And that basket has cookies in it, they are her favorite so none of you!"

I threw both into my passenger seat and nodded, "Yeah, mom. I'll see you later."

"Be safe," she cried as she watched me back out of the driveway, her hand raised high in farewell.

***

I left at 2:30 and grandmother's house was a three-hour drive, plus the 20 to 30-minute walk it would take to get through the woods to her house.

It was now about 5:45 and the sun was starting to set over the treeline as I parked my car at the end of the dirt--now overgrown grass-- road that led to my grandmother's house.

I grumbled as I grabbed the red cloak and threw it on before grabbing the picnic basket and my bag out of the back and hoisting it over my shoulder.

Locking my doors and making sure--twice--I placed my keys in one of the side mesh pockets of my bag and began my trek through the woods.

It wasn't cold, per se, but when the wind picked up, it was freezing so I placed the hood of the cloak over my head and bundled the cloak around me as I walked through the almost darkened woods.

And not even ten minutes into my walk up the trail and I started hearing things past the tree line.

It was a branch breaking here and there until it turned into what sounded like a cackling laugh--reminding me of a hyena--in the distance.

I grumbled as I pulled the cloak tighter around me, trying to protect myself but a huge gust of wind sent my hood flying back and the sides of the cloak billowing open.

"Fuck," I yelled as the cold air stung my cheeks but then all at once, it settled down, allowing me to replace the hood and tighten the cloak around me once more.

"You're back," I heard whispered just off to the side, past the treeline and into the darkness.

I quickly turned to the voice and held the basket of cookies in front of me for protection.

"Who's there," I called, straining my eyes into the darkness until I saw two glowing eyes and I gasped.

"You don't remember me, Chette," the voice whispered and it was closer.

I whimpered as a big mass stepped closer but still not out of the darkness. I could make out the huge frame but nothing more.

"How am I supposed to remember something I can't even see," I asked but listened to my voice tremble.

Was I dead? Did I die in an accident and this was some sort of hell or purgatory?

Or was I hallucinating?

"I would come out but I look different from the last time we saw each other," the voice rose above a whisper, but not by much and it didn't sound like anything I remembered.

"When was the last time we saw each other," I asked curiously but was still terrified that this might be some ploy for this...thing to kill me.

I heard the thing chuckled lowly, "You were a few years younger than you are now, the last time I saw you, but the last time we spoke, you were eight--just a little thing, as I was."

Racking my brain from around the time I was eight and coming here to my grandmother's property, when I finally remembered, I gasped.

"My wolf-dog friend thing," I stumbled through my words as I felt comfort from the memories I had with him.

He cackled, reminding me of a hyena, like the ones I had heard in the distance.

"You wound me, Chette. I told you back then what I was, what my family was. Think hard, love."

I whimpered and shut my eyes to pinpoint any discernible memory and not just a vague montage of happiness.

My eyes popped open with something that was on the tip of my tongue, "You're a...a troll?"

He laughed again, "No, but close. I'm a Gnoll."

"Oh," I blushed as I remembered now, "Tazzimo, right?"

"I go by Tazz now," he said lowly and he still hadn't stepped out yet so I moved forward.

"Don't come any closer, Chette. You wouldn't like what you saw. I'm afraid I don't look like the cub you last saw."

I stopped in my tracks and looked to the path again.

"Have you seen my grandmother, Tazz," I asked quietly, "Do you know if she's doing okay?"

"Hmm," he hummed, "Why don't you go and see. It's getting late and I don't want you out here at dark."

The memory I had of him when we were younger comforted me but his deep voice and the mass of darkness I saw beyond the treeline had me breathless.

"Go," he barked, causing me to flinch but I did as he said and began walking up the trail again until I finally made it to my grandmother's little run-down house.

Stepping onto the front porch, I looked out into the trees to see if Tazz had followed but all I saw was blackness as the sun was almost fully gone now.

I turned around and took a deep breath before knocking on the wooden door.

"One moment," I heard my grandmother sing from the other side.

"Well, at least she's not dead," I muttered and listened to her unlock the deadbolt and then pull the door open.

She gasped and then pulled me into a hug, "Chetty-spaghetti, you're here! What are you doing here," she asked as she pulled back.

"Mom was worried," I answered and gave her the basket I had been holding.

"She sent these. She said they were your favorites."

"Oh, goody," she cried and ushered me inside her house and shut the door.

Her house was still how I remembered it--warm, cozy, and comforting.

Quilts and cross-stitchings were placed all over--finished and not--and it smelled like how it used to--causing my mouth to water.

"Is that--"

"--Chicken and dumplings," she asked with a sly smile, "It sure is. I was wondering why all of a sudden I got a hankering for it! I should've known you were coming... It's just been so long..."

I hung my head in shame and nodded, "I'm sorry, grandma, but I'm here now and I'm staying the weekend with you if that's okay?"

She pulled me into another hug and kissed my head, "Of course, it is, dear. Your room is how you left it, sweetheart. Make yourself at home and have as much of dinner as you can stand."

"I'll get fatter than I already am," I grumbled and tried not to think about the pounds I needed to lose in time to look great during summer.

"Oh, you hush now, Chetty! You're plump like all of the women in our family are and there's nothing wrong with that. I'll let you know when it becomes a problem," she winked and sent me down the hall to my old room.

***

We ate dinner together by the fireplace and just taking the first bite...

"Ugh," I groaned and my eyes rolled back.

"That good, huh," she asked and when I looked at her, she was smirking, "Never knew my cooking could do that to someone."

I blushed but took another bite.

"It's just that I've missed your cooking. There's just nothing like it, not even moms! And I missed it here...and I missed you too, Grandma. I'm sorry I haven't been coming around but..."

"Oh, pish-posh, my love. it's all water under the bridge now. I know you're growing up and you're now in college. I couldn't have exactly expected you to keep coming out here like you had when you were younger... Though I know I wasn't the only one who missed you..."

I gasped softly and looked at her but her eyes were down and looking into her bowl.

"Who, Grandma? Who missed me," I asked, trying to see if she would say who I thought she would.

Her eyes met mine and I saw them twinkle in the light of the fire, "You know who, Blanchette. He's asked about you here and there...and, boy, has he grown up. He's definitely not as...small...as he was when you two used to play together."

"We're talking about Tazz, aren't we," I asked softly and watched her nod.

"So, all the stories you used to tell me...all the guardians and wood spirits and monsters--good and bad--its all real," and she nodded again.

"I'm not in the business of lying, Chette," she said and smiled and then her face fell.

"Your mother used to love it out here. She had friends just like you did. She played with any and all who would play with her...but like you, she forgot as she got older and when she would hear me telling you my stories about what's really out there, she would chastise me and call me a crazy old woman, but she remembers. Deep down, she remembers."

I was quiet for a moment before speaking up again.

"Did...did mom have a 'Tazz'?"

And I watched Grandma smiled and nodded, "Bazz, Tazz's dad, but Bazz couldn't wait forever for a woman who wasn't going to come back so he...met one of his kind and had children--as your mother did."

I smiled at the thought that mom had loved Tazz's dad, just as I loved--love--Tazz. I wondered what her life would be like if she had come back to Bazz after finishing school. She had met my dad in college and bought a house with him when they graduated...

But all I could think about was what she could've had if she had just come back.

"Don't forget again, Chette," My grandma's voice cut through my thoughts and I focused on her.

"Don't forget about Tazz. Don't miss out on a love that could change your life. Because like his dad, Tazz won't be able to wait forever...he waited until now but only because I kept telling him to wait for me to find a way to get you out here."

I gasped and smiled, "Did you forge that doctor's note? How did you know mom would send me out here instead of coming herself?"

"She's scared of what she'll come back to so she won't come out here unless she necessarily has to. Some part of her remembers and is afraid to face up to the past," she shrugged and stood up but not before taking my bowl to bring to the kitchen.

"I'll be putting the food away and then going to bed. I suggest you do the same. You remember how rowdy it can get at night around here, don't you," she called out.

"Yeah, I remember," I smiled and headed to my room to get settled in before the nighttime crowd came out.