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[lacydrays-blog]

Why don't people just say no to drugs?

So, I read that USA is taking a few good steps attempting to combat opioid abuse. I like the news, generally. But then: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-opioids-sessions/u-s-attorney-general-says-people-should-just-say-no-to-opioids-idUSKBN1CV2ZG And this is why some “liberal/ish” people have no sympathy for “conservative/ish” people u.u Why do people get into drugs when they know it's bad for them?

Why don't people just say no to drugs?

Now, I am not some psychology specialist or anything of the sort. I will say what I say based on what I’ve been reading and observing in my own life. So. Here's one possible reason: People who “do not say no to drugs” are in a terrible position in their life - they are not capable of thinking straight. At that point it’s probably not even in front of them as an option - “should I do this? Should I not do this?” I mean sure - casual users are one story - but people who OD and fall into serious addictive patterns PROBABLY are not getting into this thinking that, “oh well, why the heck not, let’s start doing drugs!” Alright, have you looked around and observed what different kinds of people do when it looks like other people are not listening or believing them? 

You see some people throw a temper tantrum, raise their voice - something of the sort to do their best to deliver their message and "persuade" people. 

You see some kids pick up a gun and mow down a whole classroom or a hall full of people going to a cinema. 

You see some people inflict injuries on themselves, you see some people attempting (and some succeeding) suicide. 

All these people might just have something in common. 

And I think it's the feeling that they need to prove that they are in pain, they need time off, they need support, they need a lucky break, they need to be heard, they need to be understood - yet, people around them completely discard their needs. 

I came to this realization when I was trying to admit myself to a psych hospital when my life was about to fall apart - I felt like I was going to drop out, lose my job, lose my home etc, I felt like there was something very wrong with me and I felt that I needed some time off, help and guidance on understanding how to get my shit back in order.

I wasn't physically ill - so, I couldn't really use this as an excuse to take sick leave. You want time off? Why, you look completely healthy to me. You are having anxiety attacks? Oh many people around you do - the best thing you can do at this point is keep coming to work! 

Mhm. Well, lucky for me - I actually did come down with a very mysterious infection and fever - doctors never figured out where the infection was coming from (and I like to think of this as if the universe gave me a wink by handing me this "visual sickness") - but during the time I was going to the doctor, I did talk about being depressed and suicidal thoughts. 

Now this doctor was nice to me - and dearly - we need more doctors like her - but as I was heading off to the other hospital where they were doing this "mental health issues" stuff - the receptionist looks at me and tells me, "nah, you're completely fine, we admit people who are very mentally fucked up." 

And this shit sparked in my head: 

Do I really have to go and get "very mentally fucked up" in order to get some couselling and help? Do I have to go get a rope and attempt suicide? Is the only way to get my fucking mess in my head fixed by geting wheeled into the hospidal with overdose? 

And I figured that wow, ok, that's it. This is how, possibly, many people DO end up harming, killing and overdosing. To make a statement, to convince, to prove.

 Anyway, I didn't leave the receptionist just yet, I actually went ahead and asked her if this is what I have to do to get admitted? I then proceed to explain to her that my life is falling apart, I'm not sleeping, I'm having suicide plans, I'm going to drop out from my job and my progress - is that not enough? 

I must say I managed to convince her by saying what I said. But I have the feeling that a lot of people do not have it in them to confront older people, severely depressed people might have just walked out from there and gone ahead to prep themselves for departure - feeling they are so beyond use and redemption that not even the psych hospital is willing to help them etc etc. I think the same pattern applies anywhere, really. When certain conditions are met, and the person lacks "smart coping mechanisms" or ideas how to deal with some situations - there is NO moment for them to ask whether they should or should do drugs, or whether they should or shouldn't go take a gun to their school. They are way past the sale at that point. 

Some people throw a temper tantrum in attempts to be heard, and believed. Some people pick up a gun and do something dramatic. Some people attempt (and some succeed) suicide. Some people pick up drugs - because they know it sends a STRONG signal of "beyond all hope, do you believe me now?"

It's not an excuse - and yes I do know that all of the above are a bunch of unhealthy coping mehcanisms.

But that’s the problem - they lack the protocols in their brains to cope healthy.

I too, used to feel for a very long time that the only way I could get some well deserved nurture is when I am in distress. Even all the “art” I made back then was based on that belief.  Maybe it has something to do with how our parents give us attention - maybe the only time my mother attended to me was when I was crying - these patterns, starting from a young age, can develop into serious deficits in managing and understanding pressure later in life. I’m not playing victim here - I eventually got help and I think I have a better grasp of things now. But had I not mysteriously fallen ill in the middle of July 2015 and having a convenient excuse to visit the doc - who knows what kinds of measures I would have undertaken to try and relieve myself from the anxiety, panic and hopelessness I was drowning in. 

So, in that light I'm predicting that when the opioid distribution were to somehow die out - some other kind of dramatic bullshit will be on the rise. Suicides, shootings, bomb threats, rapes, assaults, homicide.

And I bet then some people would regret having cut off the freedom to use weed and such - because dealing with suicides, shootings etc seems to be an even harder task than reaching out to people who have become drug addicts. You can gather drug addicts to needle-refresh kiosks and bait them to free clean heroin, but how do you bait potentially suicidal/homicidal people? Put up kiosk “free ropes and guns!”?

Before our education system doesn't have a solid teaching for behavioral stuff, coping mechanisms, healthy thinking, persuasion - reducing ways for people to "make a statement" can't really be good.

I'm sure my described way isn't the only way people end up in listed activities, but something tells me that a large portion of people DO get into it for that very same idea.

Another way I used to think this could be eased - is when all people become more compassionate and considerate but haha - that's not going to happen. Not just like that. I picked up some buddhism and it felt wonderful and I was thinking why isn’t this thing more wide spread!? Yes, not going to happen. 

So, the only effective way I can come up with is introducing coping techniques, thinking, behaving, persuading into kids educational curriculum - so that they would be exposed to it regardless of their situations at homes. Why wouldn’t it reduce the rate of crimes, drug abuse, violence, suicides? 

Not every child is blessed with parents who give just enough to prepare them for a somewhat successful adulthood. I imagine that’s what separates “conservative” families from “liberals”. 

Consider this, and you'll maybe understand why saying something like, "people should just say no to drugs" achieves absolutely nothing. 

[lacydrays-blog]

Konservatiiviviha

Oled mees - sinu ideaalne kaaslane oleks üks tubli naisterahvas kes on hoolitsetud, nutikas, vaoshoitud, viisakas, heast perest, heade kommete, hea hariduse, korraliku huumori ja parima tervisega. Oled naine - sinu ideaalne kaaslane oleks üks tubli meesterahvas kes on hoolitsetud, nutikas... You get where I’m going.  Selle asemel, et hommikuti ja õhtuti oma ihu kallal nokitseda ja lõpmatult haridust näost sisse ajada, on su keskmine eestlane end hõivanud mingisuguse PTSD alavormi pidevasse läbielamisse, ning enese parandamise asemel inimene tõenäoliselt ajab asju läbi oma sõltuvuste. Korralikke konservatiivseid mehi ja naisi tänavapealt niisama lihtsalt ei leia.   Narko, alko, harastmängud - aga ka adrenaliini vihas karjääri rebimine, kõva kunsti loomine ja meelemürkidega varustatud pidudel sotsialiseerumine - see on eesti läbi minu kogemuste.  Ja selles valguses ütleks, et su keskmine eestlane ei ole selleks konservatiivi-asjaks kaugeltki valmis. Tänavapeal ei saa niipea ülekaalus olema tublid mehed ja naised kes on sobilikuks partneriks ja lastevanemaks. Ütle keskmisele eestlasele, et tahad temalt ta sõltuvusobjekti ära võtta ning Jumala armastust asemele pakkuda, ning ta pistab karjuma, et püüad tema valikuvabadust piirata. 

Sinna ei ole mitte midagi parata - isegi kui siinne sõltlane noogutab kaasa, et jah, võimalik, et religiooni ja heade kommetega võiks selle rahvuse veel päästa, siis moraalilugemise ja loengutega inimest heast tahtest enda usku ei pööra. 

Aga kellele, kui nüüd päris aus olla, seda eestlast vaja on?  Päris ausalt - ma ei tunne mingit rõõmu ega uhkust meie ajaloo, kohaliku kultuuri ja vabade kunstide, keele ega identiteedi üle. Selles ei ole mitte midagi erilist.  Selles osas on mul täiesti ükskõik - kultuur võib välja surra - aeg on minna, evolutsioon tuleb peale. Keel võib välja surra - aeg on minna, evolutsioon tuleb peale. See on asjade loomulik käik, ning eesti asjade kunstlik elus hoidmine tundub selles valguses ebaloogiline.  Sellepärast ma globaliseerumist ega välismailasi ei karda, pelga ega vihka.  Miks ma välismaalasi siia ei taha - samas - see on juba hoopis teine teema, ning keel, kultuur ega vereliinid sellesse üldse ei puutu. Samuti ei karda ma ka seda, et keegi siia odava tööjõuna sisse tuleks ning minu töö odavamalt ära teeks.  Probleem on selles, nagu ka välismaal näha - et väga paljud nendest immigrantidest EI TEE kellegi tööd ära ning elavad selle raha eest, mida kohalikud inimesed riigile läbi maksude teenivad.  Siinkohal võiks küll uuesti läbi mõelda, keda meie riik enne teenima peaks - kas välismaalastest hädalisi, või neid kohalikke, kes on konservatiivse üleskasvatuse puudumise tõttu oma vaesuse ja saamatuse lõksu jäänud?  Selge see, et välismaalastele raha viskamine on lihtsam kui kohalikke narkomaane paranemisele aidata. Mõtle nüüd sellele, kas see pole mitte jõhkralt südametu?  

Persse see keel ja kultuur - aga nemad, kes meie oma riigis pole hakkama saanud ja vajavad abi - nemad võiks seda siiski saada eelisjärjekorras välismaalt tulnute suhtes... 

Mõtle nüüd ise, kas su vanemad oleks pidanud su tänavale viskama, kui nad näiteks sinu hinnetega rahul polnud, ning endale asemele võtma mingi muu suvalise lapse, keda oli hea lihtne kasvatada?  Aitab sellest võõraviha jutust, ja püüaks seda asja nüüd heatahtlikust nurgast ka vaadata - üks korralik konservatiiv ei vihka välismaalast, ega karda ka. Nende mõte on palju lihtsam - nad seavad sinu, kaasmaalase, teistest ette poole.  Mis peakski minu meelest olema riigi mõte...