#seeing a pattern of dinosaurs all over it.

[wienners]

the worst thing (and probably the the thing that spurred my everymanhybrid rewatch) was watching the q&as as background noise a few months ago and realizing i have the same fucking khols button up

[5sospenguinqueen]

Needle Little Love - Charles Leclerc x Ferrari! Reader

Summary: When you’re announced as Ferrari’s newest driver, fans love the budding friendship between you and Charles, especially when he adopts your penchant for crochet puns. Netflix expose that there’s more to the story. 

Warnings: Slightly suggestive content. Swearing. Fluff

2023-2024 timeline. Pinterest pics.

Requested: Yes by @rebelwrites. Find the full request here

A/N: There's a blurb halfway down

F1 Masterlist

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its_ynln just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and others 

its_ynln chronicles of yarnia 🧶

1,609 comments 

francisca.cgomes okay but i’m gonna need that top in all colours please

→ its_ynln let me get your measurements at zandvoort 

user1 what is charles doing here

→ its_ynln i’m plagued by his brother and we both like to go zoom?

→ arthur_leclerc just for that, i’m not coming to your celebration party in zandvoort. i’ll go party with charles

→ its_ynln don’t want you there anyway 

→ oscarpiastri @/charles_leclerc the girls are fighting again 

→ user2 i love how they’re just assuming she’ll win 

lilymhe i love my pillow! thank you thank you thank you 🌼

→ alex_albon she literally carries it everywhere and i’m not allowed to touch it 

user3 we love how racing is just her side hobby 

jackdoohan day 116 of asking you to make me my own dinosaur 

→ its_ynln i can make a voodoo doll of you if you don’t stop pestering me

→ jackdoohan i’ll be glad when you’re gone

→ user4 gone where! 

→ user5 well she is currently leading the f2 championship, and they won't let her back 

user6 drop the patterns please, babe

user7 i love how half the people here are because of her crochet, not because she drives

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f1 just posted

liked by ferraridriveracademy, oscarpiastri and others 

f1 welcome to the team @/its_ynln we look forward to seeing you on the grid in the new year 

5,533 comments

its_ynln what can i say, it’s knot just another hobby

→ user8 babe, stick to crochet. stand up comedy is not for you 

ferraridriveracademy take good care of our girl 

→ scuderiaferrari thanks for letting us have her

charles_leclerc welcome to the team 😄

→ user9 why is this the blandest welcome ever 

→ user10 someone feels threatened

→ arthur_leclerc *trying to contain his excitement

francisca.cgomes this is the best news ever. will you teach me to crochet?

→ pierregasly because stealing my girlfriend over summer break wasn’t bad enough?

→ its_ynln are you still salty that she let me touch her boobs

→ user11 i know it was to measure her chest for clothes but still.. 

scuderiaferrari are we going to have to pr train you? @/its_ynln

→ liamlawson30 yes

→ alex_albon yes 

→ jackdoohan yes

→ its_ynln why am i being attacked by twice the amount of people now? 

arthur_leclerc thank god she’s not my problem anymore 

→ its_ynln i’ll always be your problem, little leclerc 

→ oscarpiastri oh fuck, she’s my problem now

charles_leclerc just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly and others  

charles_leclerc winter break spent somewhere sunny  

2,316 comments

scuderiaferrari come back, we miss you 

user1 um, whose hand is he reaching for in that first pic 

→ user2 idk but we should be saying thank you for dressing him in that shirt 

its_ynln is your skin ferrari red yet 

→ charles_leclerc no, i keep getting slathered in sun cream :(

→ arthur_leclerc factor 50? 

→ user3 i love that she’s bullying him before she’s even been his teammate on track

user4 this shirt looks similar to one yn posted a few weeks ago??

→ user5 and the hat!!

→ user6 omg how cute would it be if charles was asking her to crochet him some clothes 

→ user7 we love a supportive teammate

landonorris rocking the bucket hat, mate. think i can get one in papaya? 

→ charles_leclerc i’ll hook you up

oscarpiastri i miss you, dad

→ its_ynln i’m not babysitting next year. just putting that out there ahead of time 

→ charles_leclerc not even if i ask nicely?

→ its_ynln maybe if you let me win

→ charles_leclerc 🤔🤨

user8 why are we skipping past the sneaky soft launch?

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2024

“You know, we both have driver’s rooms for this sort of thing,” you breathed, giggling when Charles’ facial hair tickled your neck. 

His mouth sucked gently on the pulse point thrumming beneath his tongue, tracing kisses from your ear down to your collarbone. The stack of worn tyres cushioned your back as he pressed your harder against them when you reached around to pinch his backside. 

“Oi, I’m talking to you.” 

“I’m sorry, mon ange, but you looked so good when you were giving that interview. And you kept laughing-”

“Oh, so it’s not that I’m so irresistible that you couldn't wait until we were safely in the garage. It’s that you were jealous.” You raised an eyebrow at him, unable to fight the smile at his rougish grin. 

“You are irresistible,” he murmured, hands snaking around your waist to pull you flush against him. “Why else would I be making out with you in an alley behind the motorhome?”

“Because you’re a horndog.” 

You and Charles had been dating for the past year, having met after he caught you winding up his younger brother one race weekend. Ferrari had been eyeing you up all year, asking the Monagesque what he thought of you, prompting him to pay closer attention. Prior to you signing your contract, you’d had to disclose your relationship to Fred Vasseur. Whilst the senior members of the team were aware of your more-than-teammates status, the majority of the paddock were in the dark. Both of you wished to keep the relationship under wraps until your rookie year in F1 had passed, reducing speculation that Charles was the only reason you got your seat. Sneaking around the motorhome was a lot safer than making out behind tyre stacks, but Charles didn’t care at this moment in time. 

“You going to be nice and let me win today?” He teased, nibbling at your lower lip. 

“I think you mean, am I going to let you massage my feet after I win? I won here last year.”

“Yes, yes, bow down to you.”

“Well, I do like you on your knees.” 

Grinning, Charles captured your lips with his once more. Tongue swiping against your bottom lip, he groaned against you when your tongue met his. Hands snaking into his hair, you tugged gently on the soft strands, enjoying the whimper you pulled from his lips. He tilted his hips, pressing himself against you. 

“The things you do to me.”

A loud cough - more of a throat clearing - tore the two of you apart. Wide eyed and panting, you both turned in horror to look at the misfortune person who stumbled across you. Fred Vasseur stood at the end of the alleyway, shaking his head at his two drivers. It was bad enough watching them make heart eyes at each other during data reviews but this. Behind him stood a cameraman and a mic guy, mouths agape at their luck. Drive to Survive would be flooded with viewers once they teased this. Breaking News: Ferrari drivers caught locking lips in secret tryst. 

“I’ve got Netflix following me around today.” Fred said bluntly, staring you both down. 

“Oh crap.”

“Yeah.” 

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next day

charles_leclerc just posted

liked by its_ynln, arthur_leclerc and others

charles_leclerc you could say we’re a close knit bunch

4,416 comments

its_ynln i fell for you hook, yarn and stitcher 

user8 not charles adopting her crochet puns 

jackdoohan so he gets a toothless keychain and i still don’t get my dinosaur? 

→ liamlawson30 that’s because he’s sleeping with her

→ jackdoohan if that’s the price...

scuderiaferrari finally. we were getting sick and tired of archiving all the pics we took of you both being cute. now we can post! 

→ arthur_leclerc please don’t. it’s bad enough seeing it in person for the past two years. i don’t want it on my timeline

→ user9 two years! they’ve been together two years! 

alex_albon can’t believe you posted a photo of her in a nice dress and didn't even give her photo creds

→ its_ynln he’s intimidated by my raw talent 

→ oscarpiastri i watched you flip over the handles of your bike the other day 

→ its_ynln raw talent

→ charlesleclerc @/its_ynln when was this? why didn’t you tell me? are you okay? 

georgrussell63 did she beat you?

→ charles_leclerc i let her win

→ landonorris yeah, you’ve been saying that all season, mate

→ its_ynln you got a nice consolation price out of it tho

→ arthur_leclerc ew!

user10 i love that charles has posted this and yn hasn’t mentioned anything about him lol 

→ user11 her entire insta is the two sides of her personality; car and yarn. can't have a man ruining the aesthetic

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A huge thank you to @rebelwrites for the request. I hope this lives up to expectations

Requests for F1 smau's are open. You can see who I write for on my Masterlist :)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Torn IV

Kewis x Child!Reader

Summary: You zone out sometimes

It was Kristie's fault.

Or, really, Kristie was blaming herself.

Time off from football meant spending time with family which has now transformed into wedding planning.

Wedding planning with Sam was a bit like getting blood from a stone. Sam didn't really care about colour pallets and flower types and patterned tablecloths.

Kristie had to practically hold her hostage every time they sat down to plan and, with all her focus on keeping Sam in one place, you'd kind of slipped through the gaps.

You'd always been an independent player and you'd never had any problem asking for attention when you wanted it but it was up to Kristie and Sam to notice when things went downhill health wise for you.

It was one of the odd days that Sam was out, having another check up on her knee and Kristie was the only one at home with you.

You're playing by her feet, making a series of growls and chirps for your dinosaurs. Helen sits on the table in front of you, absentmindedly cleaning herself.

You go silent suddenly and Kristie leans forward to see why.

You've frozen in place though, staring straight at Helen like you can't even comprehend she's there.

"Chook?" Kristie calls," What is it?"

You don't answer.

"Chook? Chook!"

It can't be more than fifteen seconds before you snap out of it, almost immediately going back to playing with your toys.

Helen mews at you softly and you look up at her in confusion as she wanders over to butt her head against your hand.

"You want to play too, Helen?"

"Chook?"

"Yes, Mommy?"

"Why did you stare at Helen like that?"

You frown, turning to look at Kristie. "No I didn't."

"Chook." Kristie's voice goes firm. "Don't lie."

"I'm not!"

"Chook, I'm not trying to tell you off. I was just curious."

"But I wasn't, Mommy!"

"Chook-"

"I didn't! I didn't!!"

"Chook-"

You get up and run off to your room, slamming it closed with a thump and Kristie sighs deeply at your behaviour.

She pushes the thoughts away though, forgetting about them and not mentioning them at all to Sam. It was just a little thing. It hardly mattered, not when getting Sam to finally decide on the menu for the wedding was more important.

But it's still there in the back of her mind. Somewhere very deep in the very back of her mind because she finds her watching you zone out every so often.

She times it, almost always around fifteen seconds. You zone out randomly, sometimes you blink, sometimes you smack your lips together or jerk your hand in random intervals.

But you don't seem to remember it, immediately going back to what you're doing.

Kristie watches you do it now, at her bedside in the middle of the night. You're just staring at her, blinking randomly and she reaches out for you.

"Chook?" She asks," Chook, baby, are you okay? What's wrong?"

You're still frozen for a little bit before clarity appears in your eyes again and you say," Helen threw up on my floor."

Kristie sighs, whacking Sam on the shoulder, jerking her awake.

"Sam," She says," Helen threw up in Chook's room. We need to clean it up."

"Wha-? Huh?"

"Helen threw up," Kristie repeats," All over Chook's new carpet. We need to clean it."

Sam drags herself out of bed. "I've got it. Come on, Chook. Let's go check on Helen, huh?"

You nod and Kristie gets out of bed too, frowning.

"Chook," She calls as Sam gets to work cleaning up your carpet," Can you come here a sec?"

You pad over obediently, letting Mommy touch your forehead and check down your throat.

"Mommy," You complain," Helen's sick! Not me!"

Kristie's not convinced.

They've been happening on and off for days now. It's a wonder it takes this long for Sam to notice but eventually she does.

It's a quiet day off and, for once, Kristie isn't jumping down her throat at wedding planning.

Sam's planning on relaxing with a movie but she's staring at you instead.

You're staring at her too, technically but you're not really. You've got that glazed-over look in your eyes that your teacher had told Sam about just two days ago when she picked you up from school.

Your teacher told Sam to try to snap you out of your daydreaming but she thinks this is different. You have no concept of what's going on around you.

You have no idea Sam's waving her hand in front of your face.

"Kristie!" She yells out, panicked," Chook's being weird!"

Kristie doesn't seem as panicked when she comes in though, inspecting your face before sighing.

"We need to take her to the doctor."

[leisureflame]

"I CANT THINK"

If you write, I assure you you have thought that.

Fear no more child, for I have found a solution.

it's called Rapid writing

something we learned when I was in 9th grade drama class and I cannot emphasize enough just how effective it is. Its actually what gave me the idea for my first book.

Stop what you are doing and do what I tell you

go grab either a pencil and paper (or open an empty document)

set a timer for 2 minutes

ask a friend to give you a random sentence. I have a few examples that I myself rapid wrote to: a) I looked around and saw b) the old lady hung from the ceiling and laughed c) purple paint dripped from her long purple fingernails d) there is a hole in my ceiling. e) when I am sad I... f) When you close the door, I... g) there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob

Now the most important thing is not to think of this sentence before you start writing. as soon as you decide which one if you are choosing from my examples (or as soon as you hear it if you are getting if from a friend), start the timer.

start writing the sentence and without hesitating just keep writing. the #1 rule here is to not stop or hesitate for a single second until the 2 minutes are over. you can write nonsense if you want and if you REALLY can't continue then write some random words for a couple of seconds then continue AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL WRITING.

another rule is that you are not allowed to delete. even if its a spelling error, just ignore it.

after the timer is done, I promise you will have something to work with. now copy the paragraph you wrote and paste it below, here you can start fixing spelling errors and adding things at your own pace because now the creative side of your brain has opened.

don't think about the way you are writing or the words you use, think about the story you are telling. the idea.

Sometimes you will get something beautiful and deep like I did here:

When I am sad I go to my blanket, not many people know about it, all they think is happening is that a child likes to cuddle in a blanket, but no. my blanket has a special thing about it, it is a magical blanket, well, not the blanket itself but the embroidery on the blanket, it simply takes my sadness away but it adds the story of my emotions to the embroidery, my blanket is a very pretty one, it is a pastel blue color and it has so much silk embroideries that you just think its patterns, but it isn't, if you look deeper you will find stories every one of those stories came from someones tears... my tears. whenever i cry, i wipe my tears with my blanket and my pain goes but my story stays.

or

there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob on the door there is a painting of you, and there are many locks on the door from top to bottom, when you open the door, there is a mirror. this door is the door to self discovery, from the outside there is a painting of how people think you look like but when you open the door, you get to see what you really are in detail and look at yourself they way you want to, you can smile or cry and the refection on the mirror will change but on the painting, it doesn't show ur emotions, just how people see you usually.

or you can get something so stupid like i did here:

there is a hole in the ceiling in my classroom. everyday a dinosaur would a pear and eat my lunch and i keep coming home hungry but my mom dsays she packed me enough food. so she didn't feed me. i told her a dinasour was eating my lunch but she said that disasours only live in Norway! so i went into the school vents looking for that idino and revenge my food, we met at last, held our weapons, i was holding a subway sandwich and the dino was holding a bana na MY BANANA  i lost it, so i attacked him one hit on the head and the whole species were extinct , people thousand of years from now said dinos got extinct because of a meteorite but i know better, also i am still alive because whoever kills a dino becomes immortal, also i killed my mom for not believing me and let her starve in her grave just like she let made me starve. and then i killed everyone who was a flat earther because i hate them and now i can kill anyone once i tap them with my super subway sandwich 

(by the way, ignore the horrible spelling, the examples i gave were from the unedited version.)

THE POINT IS ITS ACTUALLY SO HELPFUL. you can use it for a new story idea (i used the blanket one as an element in one of my WIPs and it helped the story a lot) or if you get something stupid like the dino one I wrote THATS GOOD THATS FINE because now you have your creativity going.

I challenge you to actually try this and PLEASE share it with me I LOVE reading other peoples rapid writings. have fun <3

tagging @cosmosandcapybaras24 @ajsbookshelf @gloryofdawn, @chaoticharmony93 @deception-united and anyone else who's interested to try this out and share with me!

[httpisaoki]

i. lazy morning + kiss countdown

sypnosis: It was the week before your girlfriend's birthday but while her schedule was jam-packed and stressful, unbeknownst to her--- you prepared the best surprise you've ever planned for her.

alternative: phase one of y/n's plan to annoy her birthday girl!!

warnings: fluff, established relationship, jimin is sleepy, jimin is wife material (as always), she's so gf material :((, kisses, pure flufffff, cooking for the birthday girl!!

-> part one of the birthday series!! if watched the jimin birthday cooking video you'll get the soup reference lmao. wc is 1.8k!!

series masterlist. next.

ever before you and jimin started dating, you always managed to surprise her with weird things on holidays, most especially on her birthday.

on her 20th birthday, you surprised her with 20 cakes for her, all with her favorite dinosaur on them. on her 22nd birthday, you surprised her to a trip to jeju, another dinosaur-themed birthday was checked on that day.

and finally, on her last birthday, you surprised her backstage during her concert holding multiple banners with her name plastered on everyone in different patterns and holding up the 5 layered cake in your hands– least to say, you absolutely loved celebrating her birthday with her. i mean who wouldn't want to just spoil a girlfriend like her, right?

but now, it was 10 days before jimin's birthday and you showed her no sign of celebrating at all this year, but that was your plan. 

you had gave her subtle hints, gifting her the things she thought were pretty, just spoiling her with anything she asked for or wanted, but you planned a set of surprises for that day, and it was by far the best surprise you planned.

the night before her birthday, phase one had began. You had set up your alarm for 12:00, the second it was april 11th, you would wake her up and try to annoy her for at least 10 minutes. It was mean, yes, but it would be worth it to annoy her on her day just to see the look of surprise on her face once jimin realized your plans.

Jimin had texted you, saying that she would be late. You chuckled at the sight of the text, you guessed right. And your plan was slowly falling into place. So you did the next step, sleep and wake up to your alarm right after the clock hit 12.

—

your alarm woke you up, shifting your body to face your girlfriend, staring at her facial features like she was a piece of art (i mean she is). you grow fond of how peaceful she looks while she slept, always so gorgeous even when sleeping.

you grinned as it was already time for your plan. You sit up, pecking her lips, stirring her awake. 

she groans, "baby?" you hummed, "23 left." you teased, wanting to see a reaction from her. she furrowed her eyebrows, her eyes slowly opening as she realizes. horror in her face as she did.

you chuckled, pecking her cheek, whispering "22 more. you better wake up, yu jimin."

she grumbled, "please," she said in a soft tone, hiding her face away again, trying to go back to sleep. she rolled over away from you, but you pulled her back. 

she tried to cover her face with the blanket to hide away from you, but you kept pulling it away, grinning and chuckling while doing so.

you placed one more peck on her cheek, telling her in a teasing tone, "21 more.."

you pat her head, "yah, happy birthday, jagi.." you smiled at her. 

she scoffed at you, a smirk growing on her face, "shut up," she said, now rolling over to face you again. before she rolled back over, she grabbed your arm, pulling you to her, and grabbing you close. 

but she didn't let go, still holding you tightly in her grasp. it was so warm and cozy, you didn't dare to move at all.

"you better go back to sleep.." she muttered, before she slowly drifted off to sleep again, still clinging onto your arm tightly.

You laughed, "alright fine. it's midnight anyway. sleep well, baby" you cooed, watching her slowly fall asleep as you waited for the night to pass by. 

as the hours passed, you couldn't help but feel a bit impatient. not only was that because you wanted to see the look on her face once you surprised her, but also the fact that you've been planning this for so long and didn't want to risk her finding out accidentally.

you felt her grip on your arm slowly started to loosen, her hand finally released it. her breathing seemed a bit more steady as she was finally into deep sleep.

You were amused that it was so easy to plan your surprise, ‘how could she not realize?’ You chuckled, thinking to yourself before falling asleep.

—

hours later, the sun slowly shone into the room, making your girlfriend stir as she slowly woke up. a yawn escaped her lips as she slowly opened her eyes and stretched, and she glanced towards the clock, and she glanced at her phone on the nightstand next to you.

"morning..." she mumbled, stretching and rubbing her eyes.

"mhm... good morning," you replied softly back to her, wrapping your arm around her to pull her to you as you cuddled her close. she mumbled, a yawn escaping her lips once more followed by a tired groan and a small huff.

she then nuzzled into you, making herself comfortable as she cuddled into your grasp. it was so warm, soft, and cozy, that you didn't want to let go, just wanting to continue holding her in your arms.

"happy birthday, baby," you whispered, pulling her even closer as your arms wrap around her.

"m-mmm..." she mumbled sleepily, slowly shifting her head to face you, her expression being tired still. she groans, "you better let me sleep..." she muttered, turning around to face away from you, before slowly shifting in your arms as she tried to get comfy again. she slowly cuddled into your side as she nuzzled her head up to your neck, nuzzling you gently for a moment.

"alright," you pat her head again, slowly standing up, "rest more, alright? don't go out until you've risen from a coma," you joked, pecking her lips before turning to leave the room.

 "20 more!" you yell out, closing the door before she could protest.

she grumbled, sighing as she heard the door shut, now alone with her thoughts and her phone beside her. 

she yawned again, groaning quietly as she slowly sat up on the bed. she shifted herself around, making herself comfortable and slowly started to scroll through her phone, not doing much, just trying to occupy herself or waste the time.

"I wonder what she's doing," she mumbles, and eventually the smell of her favorite dishes catches her attention.

the scent of food wafts over her nose, catching her attention easily. she slowly sits up, a small smile growing on her lips as her stomach growls, and her eyes glaze over. 

she stands up from the bed, adjusting her position as she walks over to find the source. she walked out of the room, the smell getting brighter as she got closer.

she soon found herself in the kitchen, the dishes she could smell were exactly what she thought they were, her favorites.

her eyes beamed with delight as she saw your back, her stomach rumbling at the thought of the smell alone.

she took her steps quietly, sneaking over to the kitchen as she watched you from behind. the smell was so strong it made her mouth water.

she couldn't help herself, standing on her toes, watching you cook silently from behind. suddenly, her arms wrapped around your waist from behind, and she nuzzled into your back, "mmm..." 

she was silent for a moment, before she whispered, "what are you cooking?"

You hummed, "sea mustard soup." you replied, grabbing a spoon, scooping up some soup, and gesturing it for her to taste. "here." you carefully hold up the spoon close to her face.

she grabbed the spoon, taking the spoonful of soup from your fingers. she looked at the soup, smelling the familiar scent, before finally taking a bite. her eyes glaze over, her mouth watering as she did. 

she took a moment before replying, "mmm... it's so... good..." a smile grew on her face as she ate a few more spoonfuls, eating some of the vegetables before looking up at you.

"eat now. the soup's almost done. I won't be able to be with you while on your schedule but enjoy your day, alright birthday girl?" you teased, pointing towards the dishes already set on the table.

a smile grew on her face, now taking some of the dishes and starting to eat. there were fried veggies, rice, soup, and some meat, and everything looked and tasted delicious. 

she hummed quietly as she ate silently, before stopping to look at you, her lips curling upwards in a playful pout. 

"why can't you join me?" she asked, her tone being a mixture of a playful whine and a teasing tone at you as well.

she then continued eating, but her eyes lingered on you, watching you as you finished up the last bit of preparations. she then glanced towards the table and her phone beside it, noticing her schedule. 

she hummed, eating some vegetables before looking back at you. "could you sit with me?" she begged, tilting her head before she looked down at the ground, a blush growing on her cheeks due to her begging.

you walked over to the table, her favorite birthday tradition in your hands. her face brightened as she noticed the sea mustard soup was ready.

"I need to go to work after, baby," you give her an apologetic smile, knowing she didn't like it when you didn't eat together.

she sighed, a small pout growing on her cheeks, "alright... but promise me we'll eat tonight together too?" she asked, her eyes begging you for a little bit of compassion. 

her lips then turned into a smirk, "pleaseee?" she begged quietly, looking at you with her cute, big, brown eyes, the same eyes she used to convince you to do stuff for her.

you smiled, "well, of course, I already told manager unnie after your schedule that we'd go out after." you take a seat across from her, chuckling at her pout.

she sighed in relief, a small smile growing on her lips as she sat back down before leaning back in her chair. she nodded, "alright... i'll be looking forward to that, jagi," she hummed, picking at her food again before she continued eating silently, now wanting to enjoy the rest of the peaceful time she had before she prepared herself for the day ahead.

she slowly ate the rest of her meal, now finishing up her plate before her phone was once again calling out her attention. her eyes glazed over, seeing that it was 10:30am on the schedule.

she sighed, before slowly standing up from her chair, glancing at you as she did. "gotta prepare for my schedule today, can't be late," she muttered quietly, before leaning over the table, giving you a quick peck and a tight hug.

"see you in the evening," she mumbled, her tone being softer, more affectionate, and more gentle compared to this morning's earlier interaction. she gave one last smile before she gently untangled herself from the hug, now beginning her morning routine. she walked out of the kitchen, making her way to the bathroom, but not without taking a single glance back at you one last time.

[musubi-sama]

Shopping with Kento

A happy little shopping trip with your dear husband and some suggestive banter.

Walking along the covered sidewalk, you and Kento peek into stores and eye up the products. Stores filled with chopsticks, kitchen apparel, knives, plates, industrial-sized cooking vessels.

Ah, this looks promising! Pulling your husband into a cramped and densely-packed store filled with long, tall shelves filled with all manner of kitchen utensils and wares.

Quickly losing Kento as you slipped past patrons, you are caught up examining a collection of chopstick rests. You reach for a pair of adorable dinosaurs, a wooden triceratops and a coordinating brachiosaurus.

SLAP

A surprise slap hits your ass and you let out a muffled moan, dropping the mini dinosaurs as you clasp a hand on your mouth. Furiously looking around, you snap your head and spot Kento with a small smirk on his face.

“May I help you?” you ask, feeling a warm flush through your ears.

“Just testing out the wares,” he looks over your shoulder at the dinosaurs. “I’d like to get a new spatula and multi-taksers are a far superior choice.”

“Multi-tasking?”

“Those are adorable, pick out two you like. I’m going to look downstairs.”

Kento turns on his heel and walks off. You’re left in a haze and confusion. While you’re no stranger to cooking up new fun in the kitchen, you’ve kept kitchenware out of the equation thus far.

Grabbing the dinosaurs and heading downstairs, you spot Kento looking at a lovely collection of white and blue plates.

“Wouldn’t I make a better plate than that?” You stand up on your tippy toes and whisper in his ear.

“Don’t tempt me,” he takes a deep breath and slowly, deliberately, gently places the plate in his hands back on the stack.

You stand back down on your heels, hands running down Kento’s wide back and tracing the edges of his harness. Feeling the tense muscles around the soft leather, your mind wanders to what his back would look like wrapped in just the straps of an apron. Surveying the shelves nearby, you spot a rack filled with a rainbow of apron choices.

“What do you think?” you hold up a frilly green and orange affair. Kento starts to make his way over to you.

“If that’s what you want,” he gives in his most non-committal tone, nose wrinkled.

“Hm, how about this one?” you hold up a yellow and black patterned option.

“It’s a bit full-coverage, don’t you think?”

“Who do you think I’m shopping for?” you tilt your head as you hold it up to his chest for a quick guauge of sizing. Pleased with your choice, you sling it over your arm and start walking off to the register, happy with the items you’ve chosen.

Back outside, your purchases on one arm, the other wrapped around Kento’s arm as you continue wallking down the crowded streets in Kappabashi. Falling into a lock-step together, you can smell a light whiff of his gentle cologne. One of your favorite scents. You steal a glance upward at his stong jaw, unable to see exacltly where his eyes were pointed due to the dark lenses of his glasses.

“Let’s cross here, I think Kama Asa is just over there,” Kento points at a shop a bit further down the road.

“We can stop in every shop if that’s what you want, love,” you squeeze his arm as you both come to a stop at the crosswalk waiting for the light to change.

Entering the store, you see a few neat tables of shiny pots and pans. Fry pans and woks of varying sizes, shiny sauce pan…bowls? Why are they missing handles? You slip over to the display to inspect the wares and figure out how you would use a saucepan without a handle.

Meanwhile, your husband is standing at a long display of frying pans, eyeing up one with a dark sheen and a long handle. He’s speaking with a store worker who slips away after giving Kento a quick bow. He makes his way over to you, placing a small kiss on your temple.

“I found a great frying pan, it’ll arrive in two months. Hand-made in Kanagawa prefecture,” Kento is giddy as he explains the details of his new pan to you. While you enjoy cooking, Kento loves it and is the primary chef in the house. He not-so-secretly loves looking for new kitchen hardware, trying to find the elusive perfect utensils and tools.

“Yeah? And then what?” you wink and bite your lip lightly.

“I-what? And then I season it and make you fried eggs. What is going through your head?”

Your smile starts to fall and a light blush washes over your face. But then you hear a warm chuckle from your husband as he places his hand on your lower back.

“I’m not going to turn a frying pan into something sexual, unless you’re really into that old Atari game,” he continues at a whisper, mostly to himself. “Besides, I think it would hurt, and not in a pleasurable way, first and foremost.”

You shake your head as you get back to examining the handle-less pots.

“Well that’s clever. Using a speculum to grip a pot,” Kento reaches out to a metal gadget you were staring at.

“Excuse me?” you’re incredulous the word speculum just fell from Kento’s mouth. Sure, he’d knowledgeable about anything you’ve ever asked him of, and this entire outing has been nothing but hornily-charged banter and innuendo. But speculum?

“Surely you see it. Are you into doc-ow!” you cut off your husband with a light jab to the side and an exasperated sigh. The sigh is mostly filled with the contentment that he’d never say this around yours or his friends. Content that he can open himself with you to let all the weir

“Not at all! Let’s get on to the next place, I’m starting to get hungry.”

Back out on the street, you both slip into a shop dedicated to all things coffee gear. And you walk out with the receipt for a new syphon brewer to be shipped directly to your house.

You attempt a poorly-constructed joke about syphoning Kento however it falls flat. But the laughs still flow.

"An admirable attempt, but next time I'll just take a sip of your sweet nectar," and again, your husband causes you to gasp on lost words, feeling a twinge of arousal grow.

Kento rounds the corner and spots the shop he’s been looking for during this entire excursion. A knife shop to get his heirloom cleaver cleaned and inspected. He carefully pulls it from his bag in a protective case and box. The shop owner immediately recognizes the age and craftsmanship and he promises to treat it carefully. He asks you both to return in three hours.

“Let’s get lunch while we wait. What are you in the mood for?” Kento asks as you exit the shop.

You steer the two of you into the nearest hourly hotel.

“Kento, which bag has the spatula?”

Suddenly lunch can wait.

[chaosandmarigolds]

you can skip this all u want but

I wanna know abt readers ex ngl

why does Ollie have attachment issues?

you seem like you could do soft angst, 👻

(I audibly giggled like a maniac when I opened this, because angst has my heart. it has my HEART- only when it ends in fluff tho, otherwise someone might as well just shove me in a ditch it feels the same- ahem, sorry, got sidetracked)

Let’s do a lil flashback and backstory to this whole…debacle shall we?

May 20th

“Annnn then we got get- got get, noo-no! Ister Riley no,” Ollie grumbles as he reaches over the block castle he had spent the last twenty minutes building to grab the toy Simon was holding- a tyrannosaurus, or as Ollie called him- The Superman. The little boy fixes the doll cape attached to the toy and then holds it back out, “Otay, is fix.”

Simon nods, “Good good, he needs to have his-his-“

“The cape gives him powers.”

“Oh!” Simon agrees and looks at the worn out toy, the cape like it would be found on an actual Superman toy but put on a dinosaur. He only looks back to Ollie as the boy goes on about grabbing the rest of the toys he thought they should have.

“Yeah, that what my daddy tell me. That-that my superhero cape make me have superpowers.” A short silence and he sets the toy fire truck down along with a tow truck, “It no give me power, but it does for Bo though.”

(Bo, the name of the T-Rex.)

Simon looks at the boy, watching his demeanor change and he holds how the toy, “‘ell your dad was right, Bo does have some super cool powers.”

To that Ollie takes the toy and then shrugs, “I guess. But my dad- he-he lies and you say lying is not good.”

“Ladd I’m sure your dad didn’t lie,” Simon returned, it was just a toy, and he couldn’t see the harm in letting a three year old believe in superpowers for his plastic T-Rex.

Ollie shakes his head, “But he do! He said he come back for-for my birthday and no come, he didn’t-he lie.”

“Oi, Olls, ‘m sure your dad wanted to come, he just couldn’t-

“My mom doesn’t like him anymore, I heard her talk to my Auntie Beth and she said my dad is lair and mean- so that mean he not good.”

Simon, upon a lot of other things, realized that little kids really did share anything that came to their mind. and that he should definitely do some more research.

July 2nd

“It is-“ you laugh out a sigh as you stumble into the entrance of Simon’s house, having left your umbrella outside, “Raining cats and dogs out there!”

Almost as it had fallen into some odd and domestic pattern, he helped you take off the coat and hang it off without much speaking and you then look to him as you take off your boots, “Thank you for watching him later, I didn’t know I would be working a double and it-“

“No problem, darling. Lil’ guy was out by seven.” He cut you off and hung up the coat beside Ollie’s on the rack, which hung beside his own, “You go’ dinner al’eady?”

You hum and stand back up, “Are you offering?”

“Aren’t I always?”

Dinner was a delicacy of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and oven cooked fries, matched with a hearty portion of sprite. And about an hour of what you would consider you yapping about your crappy day, and what he would consider it favorite part of the day- you finally faltered, leaning on the dinner table with a dull and lifeless laugh.

“I feel like…I owe you, god, I owe you my life or something.”

He furrows his eyebrows to that, “No’ why? ‘M no doing anything special.”

You give him a look, “Free babysitting for one. Not to mention the rides, you-you pay for him to go to soccer, and you go to the games and you buy him clothes and you love him and you care for him and-“ you cut yourself off and look up to stop the tears- which were threatening to flow, shaking your head, “I’m sorry. I’m…it’s just- no, it’s just been a day.”

Now, Simon was many things, a merciless killer and a solider was one of them but he always knew how to read body language. What really gave it away was how you messed with your ring finger, as if you were twisting a nonexistent ring, “What’s today?”

A glance up to him and you give a dull laugh, almost mocking yourself with your words, “I got married five years ago today. Wore the pretty dress and said ‘I do’ to a man that was a piece of shit but damn….i loved him. I did. I loved him so- and I’m, god, Simon you gotta tell me to shut up sometimes.”

He looks at you, and he knew you couldn’t read him, but there was sadness etched in his expression, “I never want you to shut up, luv.”

( That’s all the backstory you get for right now! Aka, I am doing this on my phone and my thumbs hurt…and all I’ve thought of rn- comments, feedback, and your ideas make my day!! Annnnyway that’s it! <33)

[autisticlenaluthor]

Garden

After tutoring, Lena spends her afternoons in the empty backyard where nobody bothers her, pushing dirt around with a stick.

She draws faces, bumblebees, and butterflies, all in the spot that one day, is going to be a garden. And when that gets boring, which it does rather quickly, Lena begins to pace the strip of grass. She walks back and forth with her eyes fixated on the ground, using her stick like a cane.

Sometimes, she’ll look up over the top of the fence. There, Lena can vaguely see into the yard owned by the other half of the building. From the ground, there’s not much to look at except red metal bars and the four gray chains that hang off them.

Lena knows that together, they make a swing set. She can see the full thing from her bedroom window. It has two swings even though only one kid lives next door.

Lena isn’t sure if she’s supposed to know all this. But sometimes when she’s meant to be working on her flash-cards, she stares through the glass, at the blonde girl playing below.

She’ll see her hop off the swings and try to climb the metal poles like a monkey. There– she throws her head back and shakes out her hair before jumping down and landing on her hands and knees like a superhero. Other times, she hangs from the middle of the bar and swings back and forth. She knows how to hook her legs over the metal and dangle upside down with her arms swinging behind her.

A few times, she’s gotten stuck like that, and Lena’s watched her mom pull her down.

She replays the memory in her head as she turns the corner of her yard for what feels like the millionth time.

Dropping her stick, Lena releases a frustrated huff. She’s sure she’s been walking for hours by now. She has no idea when her new Dad will be home from work or if he’ll even want to talk to her when he is. Lex has already pushed her out of his room, and the nanny is inside cooking dinner– something French and gross sounding that Lena already knows she’s going to hate.

Turning her head, she lowers her brow and gives the wooden fence separating the yards a good hard stare. It’s made out of old wood with stains and mossy green stuff. On multiple occasions, she’s heard Lionel talking about hiring someone to tear it down to replace it because it’s just another eyesore in this ugly, old home.

Lena doesn’t think the house is ugly but it certainly is old. Maybe more than a thousand years. And the fence is probably even older. One of the boards has a hole in it, about a foot from the ground, exposing a glimpse of the flowers on the other side.

Curiosity piqued, Lena kicks her stick away and makes her way over to the fence. She squats down in the dirt and squints her eyes, then presses her hands into the wood. She tries to see as much as she can through the hole but the blobs of orange and red block her view.

She thinks for a minute, brow furrowed, before scooting away just far enough that she has room to stick her index finger through the hole. From there, Lena wiggles it around and wonders if she should call out to get someone's attention.

Back home– at her real home in the country, she wouldn’t have thought twice before yelling. She used to yell with her mom when they played in the garden all the time. Sometimes, her mom would even yell with her – just not in the scary way like other grown-ups do.

No, Lena’s real mom would call out pretend spells from their favorite fairy book while Lena shrieked with excitement, bouncing around and flapping her hands because what if a real fairy found them? She’d cackle with laughter when her belly got tickled after a bath, wrapped in a fluffy white towel made for someone five times her size, and jump through mud puddles in her favorite sparkly rain boots.

Her clothes were soft and always felt nice on her skin– all bright colors with different patterns and shapes. She used to wear her favorite shirt, the one with all the dinosaurs on it, almost every day. And when her mom let her pick her outfit, Lena would pair it with the pink tutu that made her feel like a ballerina, her fairy wings for when it was time to play in the garden, and, of course, her sparkly rain boots.

Here, things were different. Grown-ups were quiet and they didn’t play games. The yelling only happened at night and when it did, it was the kind that made her want to hide in the closet. The closet that was filled with itchy, boring clothes without dinosaurs or glitter.

As Lena looks back at the fence, she frowns. If she yells and Lex hears her, he’ll tell the nanny and she’ll get another consequence. So she continues to stare through the hole, zoning out as she wiggles her finger until she hears a:

“Hello?”

The voice is high-pitched and followed by a fierce giggle. Lena pictures the blonde girl from the swings on the other side and wonders how long she’s been there.

Without warning, a bright blue eye appears in the center of the hole.

Lena scrambles backwards and her own eyes grow wide. Her heart pounds, her mind rushing a mile a minute. She hadn’t thought this far ahead- she wasn’t prepared, she doesn’t know what to say!

This girl could be mean like Lex, she could be laughing at her. She could yell at her for poking her finger through the hole or worse, she could tell her mom who would tell their nanny who would tell Lillian who–

“Are you a spy?”

Lena swallows. She shakes her head and draws her legs in close. She should’ve just kept walking. The kids at her new school aren't as nice as at her old one and she isn’t sure she can handle another bully.

Silently, Lena watches as the other girl mimics her by poking her own finger through the hole, then giggles once more.

“Are you playing a game?”

Lena shakes her head. She pulls back even further and hugs herself as tight as she can.

“Well, do you want to play a game?”

“Um…” She isn’t sure why she says anything. She’d just wanted to get a look– maybe touch the air on the other side. But now the girl is talking and she isn’t being mean. She’s aggressive with her excitement, sure, but the scariness it ignites isn’t like the scariness Lena’s used to.

“What game?”

The girl goes silent for a second. She’s no longer holding her eye to the hole so all Lena can see is a flash of blonde hair and the blue on her shirt.

“I dunno,” she says. “Why were you poking your finger in here?”

Lena shrugs. She leans forward and rests her chin on her knee. The girl's voice is high and soft. It makes Lena think of caramel.

“Just, um… got bored.”

“Don’t you have any toys?”

Lena shakes her head.

“I can’t see you, silly!” The girl exclaims. “You gotta talk!”

“Just… um… chess,” Lena says. “But I had-a play it a lot.”

“Ummmm, well, I could play a game with you,” the girl says. “And we can be friends! My name’s Kara and I’m five and three-quarters! What’s your name?”

“Lena.” Lena removes her arms from around herself and puts them on either side of herself, her heart rate finally starting to even out. “‘m five.”

“Hi, Lena,” Kara responds, smiling bright like the sun. “Your voice is funny. I like it.”

“Oh… that’s ‘cause I’m from Ireland.”

“Where’s I-ruh-land?”

“Far.”

Lena leans forward and tries to look through the hole again. She hugs herself tightly as she moves, her fingers moving up and down her torso the way her mom’s used to.

“I flew a plane,” she says. “But… um… I was only four. A long time ago.”

“Was it scary?”

“Yeah… but…” Lena looks down, knitting her brow with thought. “I was small. And now I’m kinda scared of planes but, ‘cause I’m a lot bigger, it’s not as much. But… so… when I get really big, like, when I’m ten, I wouldn’t be scared at all. ‘Cause I’d be big.”

Kara hums and nods knowingly.

“I’m scared of volcanoes,” she says.

“There’s no volcanoes in Top-o-lis.”

“Yeah, that’s what my mommy says.”

“But… then why are you scared?”

“I dunno.” Kara laughs. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Um… green?”

“Mine’s blue. Did you know I can do a cartwheel?”

Lena furrows her brow. “How would I know that?”

“‘Cause I see you watching me in your window,” Kara says matter-of-factly. “I tried to watch you too but all you do is walk in circles with a stick.”

“Yeah! ‘Cause I already told you, I don’t have any toys!” Lena frustratedly retorts, any remnants of her anxiety having been forgotten. “Don’t you pay attention?”

“Well, then, why don’t you just come to my house?” Kara asks. “We could go on the swings and I have lots of toys and a dollhouse we could play with.”

Lena’s about to answer when a door creaks open loudly behind them. It’s followed by the sound of Kara quietly groaning and mumbling something unintelligible to herself.

“Kara, love, come on, it’s time for dinner,” a voice calls out. It’s an older woman– her mom, Lena figures.

“No!” Kara cries. “I’m talking to the girl in the other house– just gimmie five minutes and I’ll come inside!”

Her voice is shrill and high– it makes Lena want to cover her ears.

Somehow, she resists the urge and instead, pulls her knees back into her chest. She considers leaning over to tell Kara through the hole not to talk back because, maybe she doesn’t know yet, but if you’re disrespectful, you get consequences. You have to listen so the yelling doesn’t start.

But if the woman notices Lena whispering she might get mad at her too. She’ll tell Lillian that Lena was being distracting and Lillian will get mad again.

“Kara–”

“Please!” Kara begs, the word long and drawn out. “Pleasepleaseplease just five minutes?”

“Honey, I already gave you five minutes,” the older woman responds. “It’s time to come in now before your food gets cold, okay? I made mac-and-cheese like you wanted.”

She says the last bit in a sing-songy voice like the one Lena’s pre-k teacher would use when she called the class over for circle time. She isn’t loud or angry, she's just… she’s nice.

“But Mommy, I was just asking if Lena can come over, maybe, this weekend or a different day like– like on my birthday or after school so we can go on the swings and play in my room.”

There’s a moment of silence before Kara’s mom sighs.

“Okay, you can ask Lena and then it’s time to come inside. You understand?” She asks.

Kara nods eagerly and scrambles back to the fence, pushing her face right up against the hole.

“Lena!” She exclaims. “Do you wanna come to my house on a different day for a playdate?”

Lena doesn’t say anything. She’s too focused on Kara’s mom and the sound of her voice. How soft it was, like it’s never been raised before– not even a single time. How even when Kara whines, she doesn’t change. She stays kind and soft, like the kind of mother who means it when they say I love you.

Lena hugs herself tighter as her mind begins to wander.

She wants mac-and-cheese too, not gross French food from her nanny. She wants the orange kind that comes out of the box that her mom used to make, sometimes three days a week. She wants to eat it on the couch with the TV on, watching cartoons after a long day of running through puddles and reading books about dinosaurs and the ocean. She wants her mom to talk to her in the soft voice that Kara’s mom uses; so quiet and gentle, without an ounce of anger to be found.

Lena’s face feels hot as she thinks about it, her eyes welling up with tears. She can still see the old house in the back of her mind– the grassy overgrown lawn and her little playhouse in the back. Her sparkly rain boots and closet with clothes that don’t itch– clothes she actually liked, that her mom would help her pick out.

Why does Kara get to have it and not her?

“Lena?”

Lena’s lips pull down into a frown. Her chin quivers and quakes– eyes stinging like they’re on fire.

She wants to run right back to her mom.

Sometimes she still thinks maybe when she comes downstairs– she’ll be there in the kitchen making breakfast. She’ll have tracked down the new house after months of searching and when Lena runs to her, she’ll pick her up and hold her so tightly– tighter than she’s ever been held before– then tell her it’s time to go home.

The hole in Lena’s heart will get stitched back up. Her aches and pains won’t be gone but she’ll be able to live with them because finally, they will have been tended to. She’ll be scarred and stapled, sure, but at least she’ll have been pieced back together.

Lena does all she can do to keep from crying in front of her new friend but the effort isn’t enough. The tears are falling– hot and furious. They make her want to scream because it isn’t fair. None of it is fair and gosh, she just wants to go home.

Determined not to let Kara see her, Lena scrambles to her feet and brushes the dirt off her thighs. As Kara calls her name again, Lena sprints right back to her house.

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

could you tell me more about spoonflower? i'm interested in uploading my own designs, but i'm not entirely sure how it works or how much it pays. thank you!

Sure! When you first upload your design, it'll look like this.

The standard DPI for printing on all the fabric sites I've seen is 150, and since I made this pattern at 200 DPI that means Spoonflower will print it bigger than I want it unless I change it here. So I click on the "change DPI" thing, type in "200" and click "change". Sometimes I find it doesn't save, so I always go back later to check and make sure it did save the right DPI.

(You can avoid this by just changing your image to the right DPI before uploading, but sometimes I want the option to make it a bit bigger, just in case.)

If you want to make multiple sizes of the same pattern available you'll have to upload a different version for each one and change the size individually. For example, I drew my Bathroom Dinosaurs pattern pretty large and at 150 DPI, and left that as is for the big version.

But I wanted a small version too, so for that one I changed it to 670 pixels per inch so it'd print much smaller.

You write in the title, tags, and description, and you can put any links to other pages or references in the "Additional Details" section.

(Leaving links isn't usually necessary, but sometimes it is, like how I wanted to leave a link to the original 1760's teapot for my crinoid fossil pattern.)

At this point, you can order things printed with your design, but nobody else can yet. You have the option to show the design publicly, but I like to keep it private until I've ordered my proofs and can sell it.

Now, to order proofs! DO NOT GET THE CUT SWATCHES!!! They are SO much more expensive than getting a fill-a-yard, because cutting and packaging all the little pieces is a lot of extra labour. Wether you have a few designs, or a lot, just get a fill-a-yard.

To make a fill-a-yard you first need to make a collection. Collections can be either public or private, so I keep a private collection called "new designs to proof", and I put all my new designs in there until I've ordered them. You can also add other people's patterns to a collection, so if you have extra space to fill up or you want little bits of a bunch of other people's patterns for a quilt or something, add whatever you want to your collection.

On the collections page when you hover your mouse over one you'll see a little patchwork symbol show up in the middle along the bottom edge, and you click on that.

That'll take you here, and you choose a layout and a fabric.

For some reason the fabric options here are a bit limited and vary depending on the layout. I like to get either the 1 yard/42 designs in cotton poplin, or the 2 yards/48 designs in cotton sateen, but there are plenty more you could try.

I'll click the latter for this example. (The squares in this one are the perfect size for pleated face masks, and I have a few made from mine and my friend's fabrics.)

Then you just click on a design and click on however many squares/rectangles you want it to fill. It usually takes a few seconds for them to show up.

You can have just one little sample of each, or you could make half the fabric be one design and fill up the rest with little samples. (That's what I did for my brown monster waistcoat - I printed juuuust enough of a fill-a-yard to cut out a waistcoat from, and the rest was other samples.)

You can change it around if you want. Once you're happy with it, put it in the cart and buy it!

I'm not going to order this one since it's an example with designs I've already proofed, but here's what my monster patterns looked like when they arrived.

Also, I want to point out that you could VERY easily make some really fun pride flags using the fill-a-yard! You might have to have it be only part of the fabric, depending on the number of stripes, but you could make it be any texture or pattern you want. Here's a quick example I did with other people's patterns by searching "(colour) marble texture".

With only 4 stripes I'd have to fill the rest of the space in with something else and cut it off, but it would still be pretty big! (The edge of that purple stripe looks jagged in the preview, but they print perfectly straight.)

I have not done this, but someone should! Just wash it, trim the blank edges off, hem it, and you've got a flag!

(Don't do this with the 2 yards/4 designs option though, it looks like nice stripes in the thumbnail but it's made for infinity scarves and there's a gap and dotted line down the middle for cutting. Bleh.)

Anyways, once your samples arrive you can make the designs available for sale! If you have any changes you'd like to make, to the size it prints at or the pattern itself, you can make them now.

I found the small version of the Bathroom Dinosaurs print was too small when I first got my proofs, so I just reduced the DPI a bit.

And you can replace the image with a new, edited version by clicking "upload revision".

So when my brown coffin pattern printed really washed out and grey, I replaced it with a more saturated version and was good to go, no need to order another proof.

Down at the bottom of the design editing page you can now click on the options to list it publicly, and to sell it on fabric and/or wallpaper. I make all of them available on fabric, and some on wallpaper if I deem them to be appropriately large.

They'll pay you 10% of the sales price of the fabric, or slightly more if you sell over a certain amount in a month. There's a whole page of questions and answers about it.

You also get a 10% discount if you order fabrics with your own designs. (Although, personally, if I'm ordering my own designs on fabrics for me then I'd prefer to get them from somewhere like ArtFabrics, since they use reactive dyes instead of inks, so their blacks actually print black and don't make the fabric stiffer like Spoonflower's do. And also because they're here in Canada so there's less shipping cost. Sadly they don't have an option to sell your designs though.)

Spoonflower also has weekly design contests which are announced a few weeks in advance and have pretty big store credit prizes (the first place one is 200 USD), and I've entered a few times, but I don't vote often because Spoonflower is such a huge site that there are frequently over a thousand entries and it's really time consuming to scroll through them all.

Ok, that's everything I can think of! I also put all my patterns on sone things on Redbubble, since they have options for repeating patterns on some things.

[crevicedwelling]

do you know any cool moth facts? i totally understand if not, i just wanna get over my phobia by noticing how cool they r ^_^

thanks ! have a good day

“moths” is a huge category of animals, so if you were asking for cool adaptations in particular species you’ll have to be more specific because it’s impossible for me to know where to start!

but a few general moth facts:

moths have been around a long time, and some basal types still exist that have mandibles (like the usual bug mouthparts you see in beetles/ants) instead of a tube proboscis for drinking nectar like most of the big moths you see. these moths are all super tiny and mostly eat pollen.

as you can see from this phylogenetic tree, butterflies are moths! or rather “butterfly” is just the English word for a particular group of diurnal Lepidoptera, sort of like how birds are a particular group of dinosaurs (but it’s not common to refer to them as such outside of taxonomy or a joke)

most moths are nectar-feeders, but others feed on decaying fruit, tree sap, or honeydew, and silkmoths and many hawkmoths do not feed at all as adults, relying on larval fat reserves to power them through their brief adult lives

there are numerous diurnal moths, beyond just the butterflies. family Uraniidae are some of the most dramatic:

moths have some of my favorite mimicry examples of any group of insects:

many moths mimic bird poop (birds aren’t likely to look for meals out of their own poop!) but Macrocilix maia takes it a step further and has patches of colored scales that look exactly like red-eyed, shiny-winged flies eating the bird poop!

a number of tiny moths’ wings mimic jumping spiders, which might seem an odd choice until you realize that jumping spiders—predators of these moths—have excellent facial recognition. even if the jumpers would eat another spider, the oOOo pattern tricks them into thinking their that spider is looking right at them, and can’t be taken by surprise.

phylotree from: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1907847116

moth enthusiasts: feel free to add cool moth facts if you’d like!

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

The Birdcage

Jurassic Park: It's Ironic, by Meig of A-Dinosaur-A-Day

What follows is a retelling of the Jurassic Park story, mainly based on the 1993 film, with portions of the original novel used to supplement the story. The main point of divergence occurs when the park is unable to find workable nonavian dinosaur genetic material for cloning, since - as in the real world - dna degrades much too rapidly. Instead, the park consists only of extinct dinosaurs that can be brought back - birds from the last 2.5 million years. What happens after that is, as Ian Malcolm would say, an emerging pattern.

Thanks to beta readers @plokool, @killdeercheer, and @otussketching! Thanks to logo artist @i-draws-dinosaurs for the killer logo! Happy 30th anniversary of the Jurassic Park film!

Fic Chapter Masterpost

Prologue: The Peck of the Raptor

Robert Muldoon had seen much in his forty-odd years on planet earth. A pride of lions tearing into the carcass of a giraffe. An elephant kicking an African leopard into the air. A swarm of hyenas attempting to hunt the wildebeest, only to flee in panic from their hooves. Nile Crocodiles and Hippos fighting over river space, with no obvious winners. Wild dogs hunting him, with coordination and planning he wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t seen it for himself. Indeed, if someone were to have asked Robert Muldoon if he had seen everything nature had to offer, he would be tempted to say yes.

At least, until today.  

It was a simple transfer operation. Take the new asset from the hatchery complex to their permanent enclosure. Introduce them to their new flock members. Try to not drown in the torrential rain, to hear each other over the violent wind. Remember that humans are warm-blooded and no matter how much the rain soaked to the bone, warmth would return. Go home in time for dinner.

The thought now, of course, made Muldoon snort out loud, though of course no one could hear him. Flock was the moniker the higher-ups had chosen, ages ago, but he knew flocks. This was no flock. Better, really, to call this grouping a pack. Not that it mattered. After this, Muldoon was certain of his course of action.

He had to recommend termination.

Everything had happened so fast. The loud calls of the other assets, anxious for their flock member far away. The container, raised to the pen entrance. Locked in, safety verified. The animal was silent, but they usually were during transfer. Muldoon had chalked it up to fear or hesitancy, though it was odd that it wasn’t calling back to the others. All workers were in their proper positions, so he called for the gate to be raised. And then, before he could register any of it, the asset had rocked against the container, shaking it loose. It managed to reach out, grab onto Jophery’s hand – the scream chilled Muldoon down to the marrow – and suddenly there was no more Jophery, apart from his second hand, grabbing for dear life to the side of the container. On instinct, Muldoon grabbed his hand, and pulled as hard as he could. Jophrey was still screaming, the other workers were shouting and scampering, alarms were blaring from the cage, a gun or two going off pointlessly. The asset, still, remained silent. It didn’t even bite, or claw, or crunch, or tear.

All it had to do was peck – at the temporal artery

Peck again – at the leg – near the femoral –

Peck again – on the neck – blood was everywhere –

A final peck, Muldoon couldn’t even see where, there were feathers and limbs and blood and screams and –

Jophery went still.

Only a few more seconds, and the asset was also down, multiple tranq darts sticking out of various places. Muldoon hadn’t even had a chance to insist on lethal ammunition, but there was no point now. The asset was neutralized. No one was in immediate danger. The alarms were still blaring, and Muldoon was starting to lose his hearing from it, as loud as it was in his ears. But he couldn’t undo Jophery’s grip – it had been so strong; it didn’t even need rigor mortis to lock in – and he found that the slippery blood oozing from Jophery’s neck and face down the arm weren’t helping matters. But Muldoon had been hired for this position for a reason – a few, actually – and he managed to take a deep breath, grit his teeth, and remove the hand from his.

Now he was walking, slowly, to his employer’s office, tracking mud and rain and blood down the hall with him. People were running, talking in hushed whispers, angrily arguing. He didn’t much care for these lab rats who never entered the tropical sun, never mind interacted with the very things they were working on. Even now, when their concerns should be one and the same, he heard mentions of rehabilitation, modification, and genetic integrity – worries from individuals who did not have blood on their hands refusing to dry in the humid air. So antiseptic they had removed their own humanity.

Muldoon couldn’t wait any longer. The image of Jophrey’s clouded eyes hung in his mind as he shouted into the hallway.

“HAMMOND.”

Ray Arnold stuck his head out from the control room, eyebrows raised over the rims of his glasses. “Hammond isn’t here. Shouldn’t you be getting cleaned up?”

“We have to shut it down.”

Arnold sighed, “You know he won’t do that, Robert.”

“This is the third worker.”

“Yes, but –“

“Third. If you think officials across the water will ignore it at this point, you’re out of your god-damned mind.”

“People die on construction projects, Rob. All the time, in fact.”

“Their corpses don’t usually come back littered with peck marks.”

“We’ve managed all crises up to this point. Hammond insists on moving forward with this asset.”

“All because his impossible pet project didn’t work out, we have to insist on these uncooperative, murder-minded –“

“They’re no more murder minded than a lion or a wolf.”

“Says someone who has never interacted with any of them.”

Arnold sighed, fidgeting with his tie. Muldoon had moved to face him directly, but Arnold continued to look at his computer screen, the lines of code reflected in his glasses.

“I’ll talk to Hammond. If we can’t even get them in the enclosure, maybe it is time to pull the plug.”

“Finally,” Muldoon spat out, “Thank you.”

“Uh-huh.” But Arnold was already back at his computer, not even facing his torso towards Muldoon. So Robert turned and walked back, through the hallway, muddy bloody footprints showing his short journey down the hall and back.

It was time to call up another family.

[palaeoplushies]

Sorry if this a bit much, but could i ask you about how you make your plushies? One day when my hands get better, i want to start making dinosaur plushies for my relatives- but I've no idea how to turn a sketch into a pattern, how to figure out where the panels have to be seperate to make it the right shape. Are there any books on it you'd suggest?

I don't mind you asking at all! It's a bit of a difficult question to answer though because it's one of those things that I've learnt over literal years (been drafting plush patterns since I was 10... 24 years ago... Yikes).

I don't really have one go-to resource for it, but I highly recommend looking at other plush patterns and sewing some that other people have designed first so you get a feeling of how they go together. From there you can make modifications and see how it effects the outcome, then try drafting your own based on what you've learnt. Study existing plushies and see where they put their seams, try different fabrics, do a lot of experimenting and you'll figure it out!

I'm sorry this isn't very helpful, I really wish I had an easy answer but definitely check out other plush artists work, there's so many approaches!

[vickysaurus-art]

One paleoart for each period since the Cryogenian

Thanks to the timeline on my walls that I've been trying to fill in with my art, I have now reached the point where I've done paleoart for every single period of the Phanerozoic, plus the Ediacaran and Cryogenian! That is to say, every period of the last 700 million years. So with that milestone, I thought it'd be fun to go through those periods in order and show off one paleoart of mine for each!

Cryogenian

In the Cryogenian, the Earth completely froze over. Twice! Life wasn't much to look at yet, but I enjoyed drawing what our planet might have looked like at the time. The girdle of lakes at the left is the equator, which may have had ice-free patches.

Ediacaran

When the ice retreated, animals first began to blossom into their endless forms most beautiful. Ediacaran life was strange and quite unlike the creatures that would come later, but it was nonetheless an incredibly important chapter in life's history. Here we see the Ediacaran weirdos washing up on shore after a storm.

Cambrian

The Cambrian explosion brought much more recognisable creatures. But one thing that's easy to miss is that they were all tiny! All of them? No, Anomalocaris was, with a length of about 40 cm, the dragon of the Cambrian.

Ordovician

Life continued to diversify in the Ordovician, and among this diversity were the cephalopods. They produced the largest animals yet to exist, the orthocones, who hung vertically in the water column and decended upon their prey like a claw game.

Silurian

Although fungi and bacteria had already made forays onto the land deep in the past, things began to get busier there in the Silurian. But these horseshoe crabs, and their larger cousins the sea scorpions, have not come to the shore to stay, but to mate and lay eggs. Unfortunately for the horseshoe crabs, they have come to the very same shore.

Devonian

Our own vertebrate ancestors, like Tiktaalik, were pretty late to the party, only taking their first steps on land in the late Devonian. That's no knock against them - there was plenty to do underwater! This Tiktaalik is busy guarding his eggs while his mate is busy hunting, for example. Who has time to step on land?

Carboniferous

The end of the Carboniferous saw some quite large bugs, like these two Mazothairos chasing off an interloping Meganeura. They're representatives of a pretty interesting group of basal insects called the Palaeodictyoptera, who have a set of weird little extra wings on their thorax.

Permian

Among the many fantastic creatures of the Permian were our own cousins, the synapsids, like these lovey-dovey Moschops. As you can see, this picture and the previous one are done in coloured pencils instead of watercolour, because they're the oldest images I'm including in this post. I only very rarely used watercolours before this year. I think it means I should do some more Permian art, it's such a cool and underexposed period.

Triassic

One mass extinction later, the archosaurs are diversifying all over Triassic Pangaea. Here we have the three main groups of them: Paratypothorax, a pseudosuchian in the background; Peteinosaurus, a pterosaur on top of the cliff; and Procompsognathus, a dinosaur climbing the cliff.

Jurassic

I had three different option for Jurassic paleoart to showcase, so I picked the most experimental one. These backlit insects are not butterflies, but kalligrammatids, a group of large-winged neuroptera, some of which even mimicked maniraptoran dinosaurs like this iridescent Caihong with their patterns.

Cretaceous

The Cretaceous featured some of life's most gorgeous crescendos of diversity, like the Yixian formation, where a Psitaccosaurus wants to visit the favourite tree of a group of Sinosauropteryxes, who are having none of it. This is still one of my favourite pieces I've ever drawn.

Paleogene

The Paleogene featured some of the highest global temperatures of all time, leading to tropical climates all over the planet, including at this lake in what will one day be Messel, Germany. Darwinius, a close cousin to our own ancestors, is having a staredown with the lizard Geiseltaliellus.

Neogene

The world turned colder and dryer in the Neogene, leading to the spread of large grasslands, like these South American ones. Phorusracos, a large terror bird, has caught a Thoatherium on the edge of the forest they both live in. South America was an isolated continent for the duration of the Neogene, leading to a quite unique fauna.

Quaternary

The Quaternary, our current period, is marked by the cycle of ice ages regularly freezing the northern hemisphere. But even during the ice ages, spring would come to the mammoth steppes, and these steppe mammoths are happy to celebrate its coming with a bath in the river.

[elliesmainhoe]

Ellie Williams Headcanons: HouseWife!Reader

My Masterlist

Ellie loved providing for you.

She took on all these gnarly tasks, patrols, dealing with trespassers and infected, do people always traded her the best of the best.

She loved coming home to you after a long day of patrol.

Loved seeing you sway to the radio in the pastel pink apron she'd found for you, humming along with the tune while you stirred your pot of stew that sat idly on the stove.

Enjoyed how pretty you were, loved looking at your pristine clothes, perfectly done up hair and simple makeup.

You were her certified arm candy. Ellie, always wearing dirty jeans an old ripped top and muck on her face she hadn't washed off yet, with you on her arm.

It's so funny to look at lmao

Tries to make you smoke a joint with her one night. You practically coughed your lungs up, did not go well.

She loves having baths with you. You often suprise her with a tub of foamy water, rose petals floating in the water and lit scented candles scattered around.

"Ellie!! Your home!!!" You squealed happily, rushing over and flinging yourself into her arms, throwing her a bit off balance before she could even close the front door.

"Yeah hi baby" she spoke, trying to steady herself and leaning down to press a brief kiss on your forehead.

"Come, come. I have a suprise for you~~~" you hummed happily tugging her along hand in hand up the carpeted stairs.

The bathroom door was still ajar, steam flooding out onto the landing. Her tight muscles relaxed immediately as the wave of warm air pushed against her rigid body.

"Ugh your such a sweetheart" she cooed, a stupid smile on her face.

"Mhm, I know", you giggle back at her and start stripping of the small floral patterned skirt that hung prettily against your frame and getting into the hot soapy water.

Your favourite thing is baking. You trade small baked confectioneries and pastries at your own stall. You loved making requests from children.

Dinosaur cookie?done. Astronaut themed cupcake? Absolutely.

You help at around the day care and elementary school, painting and reading with the toddlers.

You loved kids, and you really wanted your own. But due to yours and Ellie's situation you couldn't physically reproduce.

And that's why, the day that Ellie found an abandoned infant outside Jackson's walls while on patrol, you immediately took him under your wing.

When that little boy came into your life you whole perspective of the world changed.

The world was dangerous, Ellie would have to teach him to protect himself.

And you? You would have to be a mother. So many children grew up unnurtured and without maternal love. You could let that happen to your baby boy.

--------

Inspired by the one and only @elskittie ❤️

And omg thank you so much for 200 followers. I started this blog five days ago. That is seriously insane. I love you guys so much 😭😭

[nostalgiclittlespace]

Request: Care giver! Lilith and little! Lucifer (Hazbin hotel)

Plot: Lucifer being in little space and Lilith taking care of her baby (he’d be 0-2 years old), just lots of fluff please 💕

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! Sorry for the short delay in getting this out, but I hope you enjoy! (Also it seems like all of my agere fics end with sleepy cuddles 😭 aka Self indulgence. Luci was also very neurodivergent coded. Again, self indulgence)

SFW AGE REGRESSION FIC, DNI IF KINK, NSFW, PROSHIP, OR SIMILAR. DO NOT REPOST.

Title: The Cutest King of Hell

Word Count: 1249

Pairing: CG! Lilith x Little! Lucifer

Description: Playtime and a picnic for Little Luci! (Fluff!)

The Cutest King of Hell

Lucifer.  A daring, intelligent, cunning creature.  The first to introduce evil and disobedience to the so perfect human kind.  He had once been an angel, hand-crafted by God, and cast away from his first home.  But now, he was a king, the most powerful being in Hell…

But he also happened to be the cutest.

Lilith huffed affectionately as Lucifer pushed his rubber ducks along the floor.  Laying on his stomach, pacifier between his lips, white and yellow onesie equipped–no one could argue that he wasn’t just the sweetest, most innocent being Hell had ever seen.

Especially not Lilith.

She too sat on the floor, pushing the rubber ducks back towards Lucifer, as if they were swimming back down the lake of his pale blue playmat.  There were many other creatures along for the adventure too of course.  Some frogs, fish, and even a couple plastic dinosaurs had made it into Lucifer’s imaginary world.

Lilith knew all about the fallen angel’s imagination and creativity of course.  Perhaps it was the thing she adored most about him.  He could create infinite stories, creatures, and worlds in that perfect mind of his.  Even when regressed as young as this, he managed to maintain a clear enough objective in his play.  If his babbling was anything to go by, the ducks were meeting the dinos and toads for a picnic on a faraway island.  Called Ducky Island of course.

“What’s the duck say, Luci?” Lilith quizzed with a smile as she pushed one towards him to join the other rubber figures at their meet-up.

“Qwak!” the baby exclaimed, pushing it along.  “Qwak, qwak, qwak!”

Though the mimicry was muffled by the silicone in his mouth, his confidence and pride in the answer was evident by his eyes crinkling into a smile.

“That’s right,” Lilith smiled as well.

The Queen of Hell reached for the toy bin, where they kept all of Lucifer’s play toys.  FIshing around, it only took a moment for her fingers to land on yet another duckling.

“Here’s James Pond.  Is he going to the party too?”

“Yeah!” Luci giggled.  “Swim, swim, swim.”

“Off he goes, swimming and swimming,” Lilith agreed, pushing the tuxedo-wearing rubber duck in a circle then towards Lucifer.

Lucifer took over, gliding the duck in smooth patterns across the playmat.  Lilith watched, enjoying the play’s serenity.  Hell, a place of violence and punishment, didn’t see moments as simple as this.  If she were to simply step onto her doorstep, blood, swears, and devastation would greet her.  Inside however, in the nursery she had designed to protect from the horrors, the R-rated nonsense wouldn’t exist.  Here, the most complicated thing was figuring out how to keep Lucifer entertained for more than ten minutes.

“Looks like that picnic needs some food, Luci,” Lilith remarked, pointing to the congregation at ‘Ducky Island.’  “What would they like to eat?”

“Apple,” Lucifer replied, lining up several frogs with the other guests.

“How about apples with peanut butter?” Lilith suggested.

“Yummy!  And cookies?”  

“Of course.  Would you like to help me get it?”

“Mhm!”

Lucifer smiled behind his pacifier, placing the very last duck at the picnic gathering.  Then, using his hands for balance, he pushed himself to his feet with the grace of a baby deer.    

Lilith stood along with him, borrowing the elegance of a great stag.  Lucifer immediately grabbed her hand.  Holding himself close to her, he lightly leaned into her side for balance.  Lilith took it in stride, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze as they ambled towards the kitchen.

  The plush carpet beneath their feet, the perfect crimson walls, and the occasional abandoned toy paved the way through the castle.  Lucifer’s babbling filled the royals’ desolate hallways.  An innocent, adorable sound, a stark contrast to the endless curses that would envelop anywhere else in Hell. 

Soon, Lucifer and Lilith arrived at the kitchen.  Like the nursery, it held all Lucifer’s essentials.  Baby bottles lined the countertops.  Several sippy cups and plastic plates had been abandoned in the sink to be washed.

“Let’s get your picnic and bring it back to Ducky Island,” Lilith said.

Even if he would inevitably make a mess of crumbs and peanut butter on his playmat, seeing the joy Hell’s little king derived from his picnics and play made the mess worth it.  

So, Lilith grabbed a couple apples from the pantry, along with a jar of peanut butter and a package of his favorite cookies.  Lucifer watched with big eyes and a smile beneath his pacifier.  He already extended his hands, silently requesting a sweet treat.

“Not until you finish your healthy food,” Lilith chastised lightly, tapping his nose playfully.  “Come on, let’s get your picnic ready.

Luckily, Lucifer wouldn’t have to wait long.  Within a minute, Lilith had sliced the apples and arranged them in the shape of a swan.  Luci’s eyes grew wide and lustered as he watched the snack take shape.  With a scoop of peanut butter plopped beside it, it was ready to be enjoyed. 

(The cookies, despite some pouting, remained in their box for now.)

Revitalized by the prospect of a delicious snack, Lucifer tugged on her hand, pulling her towards the nursery.  He was already babbling about how all his duckies would be thrilled to see the apple duck she had created.  Actually, it was a swan, but she didn’t bother correcting him; not only would it be pointless, his cuteness was too much to even remotely diminish.

As soon as they arrived at the playroom, Lucifer broke free from her hand holding; he rushed back to his toys on loose, uncoordinated steps.  He plopped down right in front of the ducks and dinosaurs, then popped his pacifier out of his mouth.  Mumbling incoherently, he patted his hand on the spot behind him–clearly demanding that snack time begins.

“Yes, I’m coming,” Lilith smiled, placing the dish on the mat beside him.  

Happily, Lucifer snatched an apple slice.  He took a bite before showing it to his toys.  He continued his baby-talk, and made dramatized munching sounds as his toys also digged into their lunch.  Lilith also may have stolen a couple sweet slices.

As predicted, peanut butter stickiness covered the mat.  Apple juice dripped off Luci’s chin.  Once the cookies were brought out, an ungodly amount of crumbs covered his onesie.  Nonetheless, the endearing giggles made the mess seem small enough.  As the snack slowly disappeared, Luci’s energy did the same. He yawned, scratching his eyes as his sluggish a hands and slurring babbles poked at his toys. Lilith, knowing naptime would soon follow, strode from her place on the floor over to the nightstand, where she wound his music box. By the time Lucifer had noticed she had temporarily left his side, the gentle notes already drifted through the nursery.

Lucifer stared up her, taking long and slow blinks as she scooped him off the floor. It seemed that playtime had sapped all his energy. Duckling picnics were very tiring work after all. As soon as his pacifier was replaced in his mouth, his head rested on her shoulder. The sound music box would last long enough to get the little king to sleep. But not without his lullaby added onto it. Soft lyrics danced with the ringing song.

“More than anything, more th anything, I’ll shelter and adore you more than anything. More than anything, more than anything, need you to know I love you more than anything.”

And every word was true.

[television-overload]

chance encounter

an X-Files Fanfic

Read on AO3

Summary: "Six months after becoming fugitives from the US government, Mulder and Scully have a chance encounter with someone that is very important to them."

Word Count: 6,556

Tag List (let me know if you want taken off or added!): @today-in-fic @agent-troi @baronessblixen @captainsolocide @cutemothman @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @hippocampouts @invidiosa @mulderscully @perpetually-weirdening @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @slippinmickeys @teenie-xf @whovianderson

It was him.

There was no way to explain how he knew, but he did.

The little baby sitting in the puddle deep water at the end of the pool was William.

His hands, still chubby like they had been in his infancy, splashed excitedly, and Mulder could hear his squeals of delight over the sounds of the other children playing. An electric yellow swim shirt paired with a dinosaur-patterned bucket hat kept him shielded from the hot California sun, and he wore striped yellow and blue swimming trunks.

Mulder thought he'd never seen a swimsuit so small.

What were the odds that of all the places they could have traveled to, he was here?

They'd been on the road for 6 months, stopping at unremarkable motels and campgrounds all the way, never staying in one place for more than a few days at a time. It was a fluke they were even here at all.

Perhaps fate.

The hotel was certainly a step up from their usual accommodations, but Mulder had insisted. It was their anniversary, he said. Anniversary of what, Scully wasn't sure. The progression from coworkers to friends to lovers happened so gradually that it was hard to pin down a particularly important date for anything. But he wanted to celebrate, to find a brief reprieve from living in darkness, so they splurged a little on this modest, if slightly run-down, hotel by the ocean.

Where their son and his new family just happened to be vacationing.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about this possibility. In those nights where Scully was extra quiet, eager to fall asleep at the end of a long day, of course he'd lay awake and think, what if.

What if we found him? What if we saw our son again? What would we do?

The idea was so far-fetched that he hardly gave it any real consideration. His thoughts ranged from “steal him back, take him with us” to “pretend you never saw him and flee town.”

The urge to do the latter was strong. It was not safe here. They'd given him up for this very reason, what would be the point if their being here got him injured or worse? Was it really worth the risk to William? To Scully?

His next thought was 'Should I tell her?' Should he tell Scully he'd seen him? Would she want to see him too, even if from a distance?

The loss of their son had broken her heart. Broken his too, but not in the same way. She had spent months with him, almost a year, only to be forced to give him away with little time to prepare.

He knew she felt the loss like a phantom limb. Even all these months later, she still awoke with his name on her lips, panic written on her face as she looked around for him. It drove a stake through his heart every time, yet part of him felt he deserved it after leaving her to deal with it herself.

He watched the boy.

He'd only come out here to enjoy the sun, sit on one of the loungers for an hour or so while Scully took a nap in their room. It was a much more comfortable bed than they've had in a long time, though that wasn't saying much.

He hadn't bargained on having his whole world tipped upside down in the short time they were apart.

As stressful as it was, life on the road lended itself to relatively simple decisions. Fast food or canned? Motel or campground? Will you drive, or should I?

This was different.

Should he tell Scully?

The thought of keeping this from her made him feel sick. He couldn't do that.

Then again, would it hurt more to know? Ignorance is bliss, they say.

Mulder had never believed that, though.

The Truth, with a capital T, was the one thing that connected him and Scully. Though their beliefs and methods differed, they valued the Truth above all else. That was what drew them together. That was what propelled them forward, even now.

She had to know. She had to know her son was here, even if knowing might hurt.

She could make the decision for herself, whether she wanted to see him or get as far away from here as possible. It might be the last decision she makes as a mother, who would he be to keep that from her?

She might never forgive him.

Swallowing back emotion, Mulder stood to his feet, trying not to draw attention to himself as he made his retreat. His sunglasses thankfully hid the redness of his eyes, a small mercy in this endlessly unfair life.

He stole one last glance back at William. There was a chance this was the last time he'd ever see his son, his baby boy. If this was it, he'd treasure this moment for the rest of his life.

A woman dropped down beside William, showing him how to cup the water in his hands and throw it.

'A quick learner,' Mulder thought, watching as he gleefully tossed small handfuls of water in the air, giggling as it rained back down on him.

Okay. He could do this.

Find Scully. Tell Scully. Find Scully.

He rushed into the moldy-smelling hallway of the hotel, not bothering to take the elevator up to their floor. Instead, he took the stairs two at a time, finding himself out of breath by the time he reached the 4th floor.

He nodded politely at a passing family decked out in beach gear, not wanting to draw suspicion. Once they were gone, he gave a quick rhythmic knock on the door to let Scully know it was him, then slipped his key card into the slot to unlock it.

The room was still dark, the curtains drawn tight to block out the midday sun, and he could hear soft breaths coming from the lump on the bed.

His heart twisted involuntarily as it so often did when he looked at her.

“Scully,” he whispered, approaching the bed. “Honey, wake up.” He settled on the side of the bed, placing a gentle hand atop her shoulder and jostling her just so.

“Mm,” she hummed, curling into her pillow. A good nap, then. That was nice, at least.

He shook her again, saying her name a little louder. “Scully, you need to get up.”

This time her eyes opened, sensing the serious undertone to his words. He could tell she was waiting for bad news, for him to tell her they needed to leave again. Wanting to put her worries at ease, he tried to smile.

“What is it?” she asked, blinking at him in confusion.

“Uh—” he hadn't gotten this far in planning what to say. But she was waiting for him now, so he needed to say something quick. “Scully, I saw some people outside...”

“Government people?” she asked, sitting up suddenly, ready to start packing.

“No, not the government,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders soothingly. “Scully—it's William.”

He could see the moment his words hit her. She blinked, like she might think she was still dreaming, but she saw the truth in his eyes. Her expression shifted.

He wasn't sure what reaction he expected, but his first guess wouldn't have been anger.

“Did you know he would be here?” she asked, her voice laced with hurt and betrayal. “Mulder, I told you not to look into it! Why—Why would you...”

“I didn't know,” he promised, begging the tears in his eyes to keep from falling. He clasped her hands in his, pulling them from their grip on the fabric of his shirt. “Scully, I swear I didn't know. I was just out at the pool, and—”

“You're sure it's him?”

His heart broke looking at her. Equal parts hope and dread, she didn't deserve this.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.”

She let out a shuddering breath.

“What do you think about that coincidence, huh?” he said, hoping to lighten the mood.

She shook her head.

“Mulder, we can't see him. It's not safe, it's not—”

“I know.” He didn't like interrupting her, but he didn't want her worrying unnecessarily about things she shouldn't. They had enough of that already, these days. If she didn’t think it was a good idea, he’d be okay with that. “We can leave, if you want. I just thought you should know.”

Her blue eyes met his, brimming with unshed tears.

“Is—Is he…?”

“He's beautiful, Scully,” Mulder answered her unspoken question. “He looks happy.”

She choked out a sob, and he immediately enveloped her in his arms, holding onto her tightly. She clutched at him like a life raft, and he ran his hand over her back in comforting circles, murmuring soft words into her ear.

“What do you want to do?” Mulder asked, knowing that time was ticking, and the little family might not stay out there much longer.

Scully sniffed.

“We could—we could go see him,” she said uncertainly, looking at him to decipher his thoughts on the matter. “From a distance.”

Mulder nodded, then stood, helping her to her feet.

“I'm with you,” he reminded her, grasping her hands tightly in his. “It'll be okay.”

With an arm slung around her shoulders, he led her out the door, this time opting to take the elevator down to the ground floor. Scully seemed nervous, almost frightened, and he didn't blame her. He tried to picture how he would feel if their positions were switched, and he couldn't imagine that he'd take it very well. Eventually, they reached the glass doors leading out to the outdoor pool, pausing for a moment.

“They can't see us,” Scully warned, looking anxious and ready to bolt, but she was glued to his side and scarcely able to move without his guidance. He nodded and took her hand, leading her out to a couple chairs in the corner, hopefully obscured enough by the shadow of the fence that they wouldn’t be seen. That bright neon shirt was still there, easy to spot, and Mulder felt tears rising to his throat again. This was the first time they had all three been in the same vicinity since those first few days when he was born.

He squeezed her hand, checking one last time to make sure she was okay. She searched his eyes, trusting him wholeheartedly, and he was certain he had never loved her more.

“Over there,” he said in a low whisper. “With the little hat on.”

Scully followed his line of sight, gasping when her eyes settled on the playful baby in the water.

What followed next was a sob, and he quickly lost his battle with the tears that stubbornly refused to go away. He wrapped his arms around Scully, offering her what solace he could, while his own chin wobbled miserably.

She alternated between sneaking glances at her son and crying into his shirt collar, muttering “Mulder,” desperately as he rocked her back and forth, his hand smoothing out her hair for her comfort as much as his own.

He couldn’t watch anymore. Seeing her like that... it made it hard to stay strong, but he needed to be. For her. He closed his eyes, pleading with the universe never to give her this kind of pain ever again.

When he opened them again, his stomach dropped to the floor.

The woman he'd seen earlier was looking at them, her eyebrows pinched in concern.

He cursed under his breath, his arms tightening around Scully. She was in no state to leave. The best they could do was avoid eye contact and keep to themselves.

But it looked like that wouldn't be enough.

The woman, William's adoptive mother, whispered something to the man she was with, nodding in their direction. His concerned face matched hers, and he nodded. With a sickening lurch, Mulder realized she was getting out of the water, wrapping herself in a towel and heading toward them.

It was too late. They'd been made.

“Scully,” he said, alarm creeping into his voice. She only had a moment's warning before the woman was there, glancing down at them with a worried frown.

“Is she alright?” William's mother asked, empathy oozing from her.

Mulder hurried to compose himself, knowing Scully was a lost cause at this point. It would be on him to get them out of this.

“She's fine, sorry,” he managed to speak, wracking his brain for a believable excuse. Best to stick close to the truth. “We—We can't have children, so—” he nodded toward their son, hoping she could fill in the blanks.

Looking behind her at the boy in the water, her face eased into one of understanding.

“Oh, I know how that feels,” she said, smiling consolingly. “Our son over there is adopted. Every day we thank God for blessing us with him. He's our little miracle.”

Scully grips him tighter, barely restraining a mournful wail. His heart sinks, knowing this interaction isn't going well at all.

He presses a desperate kiss to her hair, wishing he'd never exposed her to this pain. Wishing they were alone in the confines of their hotel room or car so she could let it all out without arousing suspicion. Wishing this woman, as kind-hearted and friendly as she seemed to be, would leave them alone.

“Are you sure she's okay?” she asked Mulder, brows furrowing again.

His hand rubbed up and down Scully's shoulder, and he nodded. “She will be. This is—hard for her.”

“Okay,” the woman said, not sounding fully convinced. “Let me know if there's anything I can do. Like I said, I've been where she is.”

“Thank you,” Mulder choked out, eyes flitting about, looking for their escape.

Through the gate. Through the hotel. Down to the beach.

“Oh, sorry,” William's mother spoke, turning back instead of leaving. “I never introduced myself. My name is—”

“No!” Scully stopped her, looking suddenly panicked and alert.

The woman startled at the outburst, jumping back slightly.

“Mulder, we can't know,” Scully said, looking pleadingly at him. “We can't know anything, we can't!”

“It's okay,” he said softly, coaxing her back from the edges of a total breakdown. “It's okay.” He looked back up at William's mom, smiling an unconvincing smile. “I think we'd really better get going. It was nice talking to you,” he said as he helped Scully to her feet. “Come on, hon, back to our room.”

It was hard to move quickly with Scully desperately clinging to him, but it wasn't the first time they'd been in this position. Once they got back inside, he'd run her a nice warm bath and apologize over and over for everything he'd ever done to hurt her.

They just. Had to. Get. Through—

“Wait.”

He froze.

“You're—You're his parents, aren't you? The ones who gave him up?”

Ice water filled his veins. He could feel Scully shaking like a leaf under his arm.

“We really should be going—” he tried, refusing to turn back around.

Her voice was closer now. “You are. I—there's so many things I've wished I could ask you. At least let me thank you. Please.”

Against his better judgement, he risked a glance back.

“Mulder, we have to go,” Scully begged, now standing on her own and pulling him by the hand. His feet were rooted to the ground, unable to take a single step forward or back.

“Just wait a minute, Scully,” he said, his brain running a mile a minute to calculate the amount of danger each potential course of action held.

He met the woman's eyes, serious.

“Look, this is not easy for her. For us. Our situation right now is—” his eyes scanned around for anything out of place, “We—We really shouldn't be talking to you.”

The woman stepped closer still, a pleading expression on her face.

“It was a closed adoption, I know. But—”

“I'm sorry. We can't.”

Scully looked exhausted, frightened, and sick all at once. Every second they stood there chipped away at her, the anxiety sinking deeper and deeper into her skin.

“You're right about one thing,” Mulder conceded, glancing over at his son and drinking in his unconcerned, innocent features.

The next words nearly choked him with sorrow.

“He is a miracle.”

They were meant to be parting words, a reminder to this woman to never take what she has for granted, but before he could move, a hand landed on his forearm, effectively stopping him.

“We'll let you see him,” the woman offered desperately, near tears herself. “Please. Just a few moments.”

And with that on the table, Mulder was torn.

On the one hand, this woman had offered them something invaluable: a chance to say goodbye, something they hadn't been able to do properly the first time.

On the other hand, it would be selfish. To put their son and his new family in danger simply because they got caught in a moment of weakness... it was unfathomable. He couldn't be responsible for more suffering. He didn't think he could bear it.

“Please?” the woman said again, squeezing his arm.

He had a decision to make. Glancing once more at Scully's crumpled face, he caught sight of the slightest hint of hope. A barely-there gleam that he'd tear down earth and heaven for the chance to brighten.

His decision was made for him.

Cursing his lack of willpower, he turned suddenly to meet the woman's eyes.

“Not here,” he whispered sternly, pointing in her direction. “Give us half an hour, then come to room 409.”

“409,” the woman repeated, nodding. “We will.”

Mulder hardened his jaw, giving one final nod before collecting Scully and hurrying off into the building without another glance back.

“This is dangerous, Mulder,” Scully said worriedly as they passed through the hall, though he knew deep down she was relieved that she might get to see her son again. He only hoped that this risk would be worth it, that they'd be able to find some semblance of peace here and leave feeling less like a part of them was missing when all this was over.

As soon as they entered their room, Scully broke down.

“Oh my god, Mulder,” she gasped, crouching low to the ground and covering her face with her hands.

He immediately dropped to his knees to help her up, ushering her over to their bed.

“Did you see him? He's gotten so big.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, a mix of happy and sad, and though he'd known Scully and her nonverbal cues for so long, he still wasn't quite sure what she needed right now.

“Yeah, I saw him, Scully,” he answered, pulling her into his lap and rocking her gently.

“Do you think they'll really come?” she asked, hopeful, but hesitant.

“We need to be prepared in case they don't,” he answered realistically, thinking of an entire squad of police cars surrounding the hotel with their flashing lights and sirens. “I can pack up the toiletries, you got the suitcase?”

She nodded, grateful to have something physical to do.

Mulder checked his watch. Twenty-five minutes. If they didn't come in twenty-five minutes, it was time to get out of dodge.

“I love you,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and then her lips. “I love you, Scully.”

“I love you too,” she answered, breathing deeply to calm herself. Checking one last time to make sure she was okay, he nodded and released her, each to their own assignments to ensure they were ready to make a quick escape if need be.

As the minutes passed, they became restless. They watched the clock, counting down the seconds until they should have arrived.

Their cutoff time came and went. Mulder was about to call it and give the signal to run, already gathering bags and suitcases, but the subtle knock on their door stopped him in his tracks. He held up a finger to his lips, gesturing for Scully to stay quiet while he checked the peep hole.

The sight before him caused his shoulders to slump in relief.

“It's them?” Scully asked hopefully, reading his body language.

He gave a cautious smile back, then unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door.

There they were, William’s adoptive parents.

And William.

It nearly took his breath away. 

This close. They were this close to him, after thinking they’d never see him again. He felt like a dehydrated man in a desert stumbling upon an oasis when he was sure he was going to die.

“Hi,” the woman said, looking more uncertain now that they weren’t out in the open. Her husband looked similarly guarded, but they were here, that was all that mattered.

“Uh, come in,” Mulder said, finding his voice.

He stepped aside to allow them entrance, and Scully immediately stood from her seat on the edge of the bed, wringing her hands in front of her.

“I promise we’re not here to take him,” he assured them, closing the door behind them. “As much as we wish we could.”

Once the door was secure, he went to stand by Scully, placing a hand on her back.

“We were just passing through, I couldn’t believe it when I saw him sitting there in the pool.”

The woman nodded, still a little tense, but wanting to believe him.

“Small world,” her husband said, standing protectively next to his wife and child.

Mulder nodded.

“Look, there’s not much information we can give you. For his safety and yours, this is the way it had to be.”

“I always wondered where he came from,” the woman said. “I thought maybe a teen mom, or someone who just couldn't take care of him, but, you—”

“He was always wanted,” Scully spoke, finally able to speak for herself. Her voice came out strained, gasping for air between words. “I prayed for him for so long.”

Mulder's hand found hers, giving it a squeeze to lend her some of his strength.

“He was our miracle.”

The woman looked down, saddened by this news.

“But you were right,” Scully continued, steadying her voice. “We couldn't take care of him. Our life—it isn't stable enough for a child right now. It might never be again. So, I gave him up.”

“Didn't you have a family member who could have taken him? A friend?” the man asked. “Why a closed adoption?”

Scully shook her head, looking down at her feet. How she had wished she could have sent William to live with Bill and Tara, maybe even Charlie. But it wouldn’t have been enough. It would have only endangered more people she cared about.

“That's something we can't disclose,” Mulder answered for her. “But someday, when he asks, I want him to know...” He breathed, summoning the strength to form the words. “I want him to know that we loved him... so much.” With each breath he took, tears filled his eyes, clogging his throat until he wasn't able to speak anymore.

They would always love him, for as long as they lived. Giving him up wasn't going to change that.

“Well,” William's new mom said through tear filled eyes. “I can't tell you how much it means to us to have him.” Scully bowed her head, nodding along with a steady stream of tears. “I promise to take good care of him. He'll be safe and happy with us.”

“Thank you,” Scully whispered, unable to look the man and woman in the eyes.

“We've been worried about him,” Mulder admitted, “hoping he was alright...” He checked in with Scully, reading her like he was so good at doing, before deciding it was safe to speak for them both. “I think, seeing that he is... is a huge weight lifted off our shoulders.”

Scully gave a nod in agreement, looking up at Mulder with something of a promise. A promise that they would be okay, eventually.

“I can't imagine what you must have gone through,” the woman said. “But we are so thankful. He—I don't suppose you want to know his name?”

“No,” Scully said quickly. “I—we can't. I couldn't handle the temptation.”

The temptation to track him down, just for the chance to see him again.  That was a dream that could never be.

“What did you call him?” the woman asked, and Mulder squeezed Scully's hand again, letting her know it was okay. It was a common enough name, there couldn’t be any harm in telling her the truth.

“William,” she answered. “His name was William.”

To hear it spoken aloud after all this time was a relief. It had been almost taboo the past six months, too painful a word to be uttered. But now, there was something freeing about letting his name hang in the air.

Letting go, Mulder realized. They had to let him go.

“Well...” the woman began again, smiling at them reassuringly. “William is such a bright and curious child. He loves building towers out of blocks and throwing things at it to knock it down. He—He has this stuffed fox he takes everywhere. They're practically inseparable. His first word was 'mama'. He likes watching baseball and hockey with his dad. He—He's everything we could have hoped for, and more. So, thank you. Thank you for making such a beautiful child for us to love.” Her eyes shone with happiness, the kind which Scully wondered if she’d ever felt. “I knew you had to be remarkable people, because he's a remarkable child.”

“And now we know where he gets those lips and that hair from,” the father added, lightening the mood as much as possible, under the circumstances. “He's covered in sunscreen, must be your genes,” he said, nodding at Scully with a smile. And wonder of wonders, she laughed, a sudden, unexpected thing, and leaned into Mulder's side.

“We should let you go,” Mulder said after a moment, hating that it had to be done. “We'll need to be heading out soon.”

“To where?”

“We can't tell you that.”

Will's adoptive father's eyes met those of his biological one, and a look of understanding passed between them.

Adjusting her hold on William, the woman spoke, glancing between them as she did.

“I wouldn't feel right if I didn't give you a moment with him.”

Scully's head snapped to attention.

“You've already sacrificed so much,” she continued, “And I trust you. You're doing what's best for—for William. I know you have his best interests at heart.”

Mulder wished, wished, wished he could honestly say it was in William's best interests to be with him and Scully... but it wasn't. The truth of their reality was such that it could never be. Not through any fault of their own as parents—but because of external forces working against them, desperate to tear them apart and leave them with nothing.

But they had failed.

Because what they had was more than nothing. They had each other. And though they would have to live with the knowledge that a part of them was missing, maybe after today they would be able to make peace with what they do have. To live life to the fullest given the circumstances they've been forced to survive in.

In truth, he hadn't felt this hopeful about the future since the moment Scully first placed his son in his arms. There was still a mountain of hardships to surmount, but it didn't seem quite as impossible as before. And it was all thanks to a chance encounter with their son, at the precise moment they needed him most.

“We'll leave you be,” Will's mother spoke, checking with her husband to make sure he agreed. “If you need us, we'll be downstairs having some coffee.”

Scully's brows slanted in worry. “You don't have to go, it's okay,” she said, wanting to stop them.

“You deserve some time alone,” the woman said kindly, shaking her head. “I can see how much you need it, dear.”

Scully's chin wobbled, dangerously close to another round of tears.

And then she was coming toward them, William perched on her hip. She deposited him right into Scully's disbelieving arms, and Mulder immediately felt his throat close, the sight one he'd seen almost every night in the most heart wrenching of his dreams.

This was what he'd hoped to come home to after his time in the desert. This was what kept him sane between bouts of torture in a prison cell. To see it now was equal parts fulfilling and painful.

“I can give you something, a guarantee we won't run off with him,” he choked out, working to free his wrist from his moderately expensive watch. William's dad reached a hand out and stopped him.

“We trust you,” he said with a sad smile. “We'll be back in an hour. Please, take all the time you need.”

And with that, they left the room.

As soon as they were gone, Scully's head dropped to rest against the strawberry blond locks of their son, and she let out a sob.

“William,” she breathed, pressing her lips to his head. He seemed unfazed, and part of Mulder wondered if he still remembered her. If deep down, he knew this was the woman who had once fed him from her own body, sung him to sleep in an off-tune melody, soothed him when he had nightmares...

It wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

The same couldn't be said for him, however.

“I can't believe this, Mulder,” Scully cried, her tears falling into his downy-soft hair. Mulder led her back to the bed, sitting beside her with their son on her lap. “Did you hear what they said? He's so much like you, watching sports on TV, knocking his blocks down... He'll be throwing pencils at the ceiling in no time.”

That brought a small smile to his face, and he leaned to his right to press a kiss to Scully's forehead, his hand falling into place on their son's back.

William leaned away, taking in the new faces with a curious tilt to his head.

“Hey, bud,” Mulder said, offering him a finger to hold. For all the time he'd spent thinking of what he'd say to his kid if given the chance, he was coming up short now that he was face-to-face with the reality. “I missed you so much,” he managed to say, “And look how much you've grown!”

William reached out, holding his hands up in front of him, and Mulder's heart leapt. Glancing at Scully for permission, he slid his hands under his arms, lifting him to his chest and nuzzling him close.

“Oh, Scully,” he said, beginning to cry again, feeling the weight of William on his chest, real and tangible. “Sometimes I thought it was all a dream. But we have a son.”

It was hard to think of him out in the world, when he was hardly more than an idea. But now—he had face to put to the name, a personality to remember. He had a son.

She nodded, watching them with a watery smile. He pulled back just to look at him again, to memorize those chubby cheeks and the way he smelled. The precise shape of his eyes, their color, still the same as his mother's.

“I'm so glad we stayed here, Mulder,” Scully whispered. “To think I tried to talk you out of it...”

“Fate was working its magic, Scully,” he said, cutting her off. “This was meant to be.”

For the next hour, they played on the floor together, using Mulder's keys as a toy to hold William's attention. He was walking now, and took turns toddling between them, excitedly holding the TV remote in one hand and squealing when they praised him for successfully making it without tripping or falling.

For a while, they could almost forget this wasn't real. That they weren’t on borrowed time, already risking things they shouldn't be for this blissful moment of being a family.

Mulder got to see Scully as a mother. She saw him as a father. Finally, they had the chance to step into those roles, feeling fulfilled in ways they never could have imagined. It went far beyond any truth that once lay hidden in the X-Files. Nothing in that office of theirs could have given them purpose like this. Only each other, and the life that was formed out of the love that was sparked right there in the basement of the Hoover building so many years ago.

Mulder had always wondered how it would sound to hear the words “da da da” come from a child's mouth, and to know they meant him. Though his babbling wasn't intentional, merely a repetition of the same syllables “da” and “ma” over and over again, he was soaking it in. Committing it to memory. Praying—because only something like this could drive a man like him to prayer—that his son would think about him. Would think about his mother. That he'd grow to know and understand and appreciate the heartache they suffered at giving him away.

That maybe he'd love them too, despite never knowing them.

And maybe.

Maybe.

One day, they'd see each other again.

It was getting late. Scully could tell it was past William's bedtime. She laid him on their bed, and laid down beside him on her stomach, content just to look at him and be near him for however much time they had left.

Mulder joined her on the other side, resting a hand on top of William's gently rising and falling belly.

“I love him more than I ever knew was possible,” he whispered, and noticed as Scully wiped away a tear.

“It hurts, knowing we have to say goodbye.”

Mulder nodded, reaching a hand over William to rub circles on Scully's back.

“But not as much as it hurt before.”

Mulder remembered how Scully screamed, when he first found her in that dirty, abandoned house in Georgia.

“Don't take my baby. Please don't take my baby.”

It was different now.

This time, it was on their own terms. Their curiosities were satisfied, the things they always would have wondered about.

Who he resembled more. What his voice sounded like. His smile and his laugh when he was happy. The way he scrunched his face when he wasn't.

But above all else: would he be okay?

And now that they knew without a doubt that he was? They could let him go.

As much as any parent could let go of a piece of their soul, their own flesh and blood.

He would always be a part of them. They would always wish things could have gone differently. But at least now, Mulder had had a chance to say goodbye. At least Scully wasn't being forced to leave him with little warning, worrying that she was abandoning him to an unknown fate.

A blanket of peace fell over this humble, outdated hotel room. And for the last few minutes they would spend as parents together, Mulder and Scully counted themselves lucky. For this time was a gift, far more than they could have ever hoped to receive.

The same knock from earlier sounded, and a heavy feeling settled in Mulder's chest. He dragged himself away from the bed, while Scully lifted the sleeping William into her arms and held him close.

“How did he do?” their son's mother asked, looking perfectly at ease in a way that calmed and reassured him.

“Great,” Mulder answered. “He—He's perfect.”

The time had come. Scully knew it too. They'd already stayed longer than they should have. He knew there was a long night of driving through pitch darkness ahead of them, and he really, really didn't want to go.

But he had to do what was right for his son. That was all he ever wanted to do, as a father. He just didn't want to be the one to break Scully's heart all over again.

“I guess this is it,” Scully said, sounding calmer than he would have expected. He knew her, though, and he could see the emotions brewing beneath the surface.

It would be a tearful night for both of them.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” she said to William's new mom, stepping fatefully toward her. But before she could pass him over, she paused, looking down at him for the last time in her own arms. “William?” she spoke, her voice strained. “Mommy loves you.”

“Daddy loves you too, baby boy,” Mulder said, never having referred to himself as such before, but wanting to know how it felt.

He cupped the sleeping child's head, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and then another, not able to convince himself that each would be the last.

“I'm so sorry, William. Be good for your mom and dad, okay?”

Scully leaned against him, her strength beginning to wane.

“Goodbye,” she said, kissing him desperately all over, playing with his socked foot and each of his tiny fingers. “I want to believe I will see you again someday.”

As they passed him over, together this time, William's new parents smiled tearfully.

“If—If he suddenly gains an interest in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster,” Mulder began in a worried, cautionary tone, “just buy him some picture books. He'll be okay.”

Though it easily could have been a joke, no one laughed. In fact, the man and woman nodded, taking his advice to heart. He felt better knowing their son would be accepted, no matter who he grew up to be. The child of the FBI's most unwanted was sure to be a bit of a loner.

“And tell him he'll grow into his nose. Sort of,” he added, this time eliciting a small smile from Scully.

“I promise, we'll tell him every day how loved he is,” the woman vowed. “I'm glad we met you.”

“I'd call it a God-given miracle,” the man said, and he reached out a hand to Mulder to shake. “Stay safe,” he said, then catching sight of Scully's necklace. “We'll be praying for you.”

She nodded, unable to speak.

Mulder's arms suddenly felt empty. He could see Scully felt the same, wrapping hers around her own torso just for something to hold. He enveloped her in an embrace, holding tight to keep both her and himself from chasing after them.

“Bye,” the woman said over her shoulder, her worried eyes unwilling to turn away from the sad couple they'd met. She gave a small, consoling smile, and lifted William's pudgy hand to wave goodbye.

Mulder and Scully waved half-heartedly in return, smiling as genuinely as they could, and watched as they disappeared through the door.

Once they were gone, Scully turned into Mulder's chest and held tight. His cheek rested on top of her head, and they swayed, silent but for the sound of the ocean nearby.

“We're gonna be okay,” Scully said at last. “Mulder—”

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes with sincerity and love.

“We're gonna be okay.”