#see you think its the other way around but actually uhm <3 its canon <3

[officialzevran]

[jazzyblusnowflake]

I've got one for ya. What were the first kisses in the N/V/Uzi relationship like. Uzi and N first, Uzi and V's first, and V and N's first.

(Bonus points for V and N's first kiss at the manner for some bittersweet angst)

Also, good golly gumdrops, love your stuff, even if you don't answer this one, still gonna keep enjoying

oh oh i love these kinds of ideas :"D tho it takes a bit of brain power to think of a good scene uhm.... lessee....

Ok so first up, although im still waiting for a canon first kiss for NUzi- since they are a thing now, i still like to think of something separate for my own version- [since obviously the main show isn't going towards a poly dynamic lmao]

See, we all know that the show is fast paced and its hard to find any empty spaces between each event, hell it almost feels like earth was blown apart and the DDs were on copper 9 the next day, Liam we need a fucking timeline order. 🙄 soooooo i personally like to imagine that there's a lot more time between events than is shown in the actual show. like- lets maybe put a few days between Uzi administrating N and V and the arrival of J and Cynessa- like.... maybe lets put a few NIGHTS between that??? what's the freaking rush 😭

But anyway yeah- i would put the first NUzi kiss somewhere around betwenn the camp and the flashback eps probably :p my idea would be that since the camp incidents, Uzi would be having a lot of bodily changes to deal with, one of which being her inability to tolerate the sun much anymore. other things would probably be the growth of literal flesh and blood and bones inside of her and lets make this morbid by adding her throwing up blood but keeping it a secret from everyone :p she may sneak back to the other two at night and stay with them- clearly shaken up- [V probably also being shaken up because on one hand she's terrified of seeing this transformation take place- but at the same time, she clearly cares enough about Uzi AND Ns happiness...] asking for help and advice- and the 3 grow closer during this. They practice with her for flying or controlling her tail- maybe some stuff on her control on oil hunger too. she probably also gets some fighting, sneaking and sparring practice with V-

//insert one of those cheesy moments where V riles up Uzi enough to tag her on the snowy ground but then realizes its the same position she got V in her solver!mode and starts panicking and pushing herself back- V getting back up and asking what the heck was that and Uzi just saying she doesn't want to hurt her and V is an insensitive jerk for making her spar with her in the first place and tries to fly away to calm down-..... which probably just ended with her falling face first in the snow and a lecture from both N and V.

overall they all started subconsciously getting even closer. tbh there's so many things i could add here but i gotta keep it a few NIGHTS not a few MONTHS until the next event 😭

either way during this i guess N and Uzi could have maybe ended up alone at some point- maybe after a flying lesson having gone right and they were a little too happy on top of a building or upturned bus or something lol- i imagine after a hug maybe Uzi asks if she could kiss N but quickly backtracks saying nvm it was stupid or something but N softly says its okay- //probably picks her up too, adding to her embarrassment- cuz she's short lmaooooo// and Uzi just decides to give a small unsure smooch- but decided to make it not too long. they decided to just hug after that to not let the other see them blushing like hell 😭 [also they didn't really decide anything after this cuz they are idiots????😭😭😭]

but anyway for the Vuzi first kiss i have no idea if or when V would return if she's been set to remain alive in the canon- but for me its probably when she appears again in her normal form, as herself. not a clone. Alice isn't alive to take the cores and make them sluggish with heat and the sentinels wouldn't have a chance against the solvers centipede lookin ass form.

Anyway if we consider that one way or another Uzi, N and V will meet up again, [and N and Uzi preferably get to share a better kiss this time-] the first thing Uzi is doing is landing a swift punch in Vs face and then kissing the daylights out of her- //confusing herself and everyone in the area in the process including V herself...// overall she would scold V on the whole "i trust you" shtick and leaving them alone- but yeah :p [ keep in mind that im also considering a few nights between when J and Cynessa show up and when they decide to actually go and find and search the labs, because PLOT REASONS :D ]

as for the first Envee kiss- ill do you one better and make it more angsty and say that N and V used to always spend time with each other and do silly things like hold hands in secret or send internal chat messages to eachother, draw and read books together- maybe N used to put flowers for her sometimes. But at some point a certain little corrupted drone started feeling possessive of her favorite "big brother" figure not spending time with her anymore...

one time, N had asked V if he could kiss her and at that they were both blushing messes but before V could respond they get interrupted- maybe by someone giving them orders or maybe by Cyn. either way, V quickly whispers to him "later, i promise" with a smile, making N happy and giddy. but the later never comes... V becomes comatose soon after... N sadly reading books to her and sometimes whispering to her to wake up and that she still has to keep her promise...

anyway after all things are said and done in the future and the solver is defeated- whether they are still living on copper 9 or any other planet idk- N, V and Uzi are all close, but since both N and V are close to Uzi, they also start spending more time with each other too. maybe one time on a walk or going out and about N was able to catch up with V and they reminisce about old memories they can now remember; and when V was finally able to open up a bit to N, he mentions that he still remembers the promise and asks her if he could kiss her again and she lets him.

and thaaaats all the brain power i have for tonight... i think... hope it made yall smile or cry or idk something lmao. :")

[angelsdean]

Despite claims that Dean calls women "bitches" when they reject his advances.

Uhm??? That is not what I said?? I said he called women bitches when they did something he didn’t like? Namely their enemies. In fact when he was attracted to a woman he treated them like a true gentleman. It was their enemies he was aggressive towards. And saying the word ‘bitch’ was directed towards women 3 times is fair and all. But how many of their enemies in season 1 were women and how many were men? And did he actually ever run into a female enemy that he did not call a bitch in the earlier seasons? Idk no offense or anything it feels like you’re taking this a bit personally. The tone in your post about how much he used the word bitch was kind of coming off as confrontational. I’m looking at this as a case of bad writing rather than anti-deanism or whatever everyone thinks is going on here :(

I'm really very sorry if I misunderstood that! From the way it was worded in the previous ask: "it was because he tried to fuck anyone with boobs and the minute a woman did something he didn’t like he turned around and called them a bitch" I read that statement as suggesting "the minute a woman did something he didn't like" in relation to the flirting / trying to sleep with them. Like, woman rejects him trying to sleep with her >> he calls her a bitch. But now I can see what you meant in the context of villains / enemies. And I do agree, the three only instances from just looking at s1 were directed only towards enemies and it's something I do want to continue keeping track of as I watch.

I'm also sorry if my tone came off as confrontational, I definitely did not mean for that either. I was mostly in "academic" mode lol so it was more about "disproving" the claim that he calls women (who are not enemies, but potential interests) bitches. I really find all of this fascinating and engaging and like you said there is a lot of bad writing to look for and also just, the show being a product of its time. Unfortunately early 2000s television was rife with casual sexism and misogyny and we definitely saw that leak into the show and some of Dean's behaviors. The writers have their own biases and bigotry too which is definitely important to consider when we're doing these analyses / character "studies."

I'm not mad at you personally, anon, and do invite you to continue to share things you find too and add to this conversation. If I came across as a bit defensive or confrontational it was less about you and your individual ask and more toward the general "fanon" view a lot of people (dean 'crits' or 'antis' or whatever) have toward Dean that often is not based on actual evidence from the show or is based on one small thing that has gotten exaggerated or misinterpreted in fanon. And since I've been rewatching recently it's just so hard not to be like !!!!!!! when I see how canon things don't match up with some fanon interpretations.

I have some other asks in my inbox that may have been from you ? I'm not sure, that I also plan to answer but this was the most recent and I just wanted to clear things up and apologize<3

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[reidyoulikeabook]

hi i saw that your requests are open for the night for that list and i feel like 15&35 with spencer might be all i need to survive

anyways i’m on anon bc i’m scared you’ll hate this request but just know your writing is my favorite i would read your grocery lists at this point

excuse me i love this request please do not disparage yourself ever again <3 that’s the loveliest thing anybody has ever said to me and i will now think of you and this compliment whenever i write a grocery list

Ship: GN! (wears a bra, no mention of gender other than this) Reader x Spencer Reid

Warnings: Mentions of canon-typical case things, pining, mild thievery.

Word count: 2.4k

Prompts: #15 - "You’ve just won one free pass to my bedroom.”

#35 - “Well fuck, didn’t expect to be announcing my undying love for you this early in the morning.”

A/N: This got so ungodly long I’m so sorry I don’t even know if I can call this a blurb at this point it’s a full fic but I loved this idea so much and it ran away from me.

PLEASE let me know what you think because I bashed this out in the span of an hour and I’m not sure if I love or hate it.

--

Rossi’s spitballing theories behind you. Your head lolls on the desk, feeling far too heavy to attempt lifting up at this time of night. The case was hard, you were sleeping in shifts, and somehow you, Rossi, and Reid had drawn the short straw. Your eyes are blearing a little too much to make out the exact time on the clock, it’s on the opposite side of the room and your eyes burn when you squint to look at the time; you’re fairly certain you’re somewhere on the wrong side of 3am.

23 hours awake.

Sighing, you push yourself up, looking around and only now noting that Spencer isn’t in the room. He must have made his exit while you were flicking through the files making notes, it was often easier to do that with your headphones in.

Thankfully, you'd set up shop in a conference room at the hotel, given the local PD was tiny and barely equipped to handle its own officers.

“What about the meat packing district?” Rossi muses.

It’s a rhetorical question but one you actually have an answer to, “I don’t think so. The busiest part of the city is between the meat packing district and where he’s dumping the bodies. Cops do random stop-and-searches sometimes, I don’t know if he’d risk it.”

“He could drive around.”

You frown, thinking, “He’d be crossing state lines. Hey, wait,” You stand up from your chair, walking to the board and starting drawing circles that illustrate your point, “Spencer thought there must be a pattern, right? But it died off here and we didn’t know about any more victims. If we expanded the search to outside of state lines it might connect here, here, and here,” You circle each here with a point, tapping the pen against the board triumphantly.

Rossi smiles, “Good thinking kid. I’ll call Garcia.”

Exhausted from your breakthrough, you flop back down into the chair. The clothes you’ve been wearing are icky, uncomfortable with sweat and flying and you’re strongly regretting your choice in underwear now too.

You hear the door swing open, looking up to see Spencer entering the room. Holding your go-bag. The one you’d left on the jet this morning. The jet that was a two hour drive from your current location.

“Where did you? When did you?” Your incoherency is related to both your tiredness, and his thoughtfulness.

He smiles, “It took some calling around but I found a cab driver willing to go and pick it up. It just got here.”

“Spencer I-,” You start, scrambling to your feet to accept the bag he’s offering to you, “Thank you. That’s so sweet of you. How much was the cab?”

“Don’t worry about it,” He says, handing it to you and heading over to the board, “What are these?”

Rossi - who was watching the exchange with some amusement - starts explaining the eureka moment you’d had. Spencer nods along, turning to smile at you when Rossi credits the thought to you. It’s something he does a lot, Rossi’s noticed. Not in a condescending way, Spencer knows more than anyone just how capable you are at your job. It’s as if he needs to channel his love for you somewhere, and chooses pride. It’s the easiest one to explain, after all, because who isn’t happy for their colleague making breakthroughs?

That’s how Spencer justifies it anyhow.

You leave the room, heading to the bathroom to change. You’re incredibly grateful to slip out of your dirty clothes and the bra that’s cutting into you, so much so that you decide to pop on a t-shirt under your blazer. The sports bra and t-shirt combo revitalises you more than you thought possible for this hour.

Digging through, you find an item that you didn’t pack. A pair of brown fluffy slippers. Attached to them, a note, ‘I thought the heels on your boots looked uncomfortable, and I didn’t want your feet to hurt. - Spencer.

He signed the note. Something about that, alongside the gift itself, sends a flush of warmth through you.

He gave you his slippers

So?

Is that something friends do?

Wracking your brain, you try to think up if he’d do this for anyone else. Hotch? The thought makes you laugh. Emily? Maybe, actually. If she didn’t make it so hard for others to take care of her. Penelope? Almost definitely.

Your heart sinks a little, and you distract yourself by fumbling to get your work boots off and the slippers on.

It doesn’t matter it isn’t romantic, it matters that he did it.

It matters to every other person you date

He sets an impossibly high bar

Thankfully, the late hour means that there aren’t many local PD still hanging around to see your interesting choice of shoe. You slip through to the conference room, where Spencer and Rossi are huddled over the phone talking to Garcia.

Spencer does a double-take. He knew the gift he’d given you, but he hadn’t expected to see you...wearing them? You look beautiful: hair mussed from fiddling with it, an old college t-shirt under your blazer, brown fluffy slippers on your feet. The mix of professional and homely attire does something to him that he can’t quite explain, and he has to clear his throat before making his next point to Garcia.

Did he just blush?

You try not to stare at him, try not to see if that’s a tinge of red creeping up under his turtleneck.

It is.

“Thanks Garcia,” Rossi clips, hanging up the phone, “I’m going to go and find some coffee. You two,” He points, looking knowingly between you, “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

No sooner has Rossi left the room, you both try speaking at once.

“You look-” He starts.

“Thank you so-” You start.

You both tinge with warmth.

“You go first,” He says, gnawing at his plump lower lip, finger turning oer the pen in his hand.

You laugh, a little breathless, “Well fuck, I wasn’t expecting to be announcing my undying love for you this early in the morning.”

His eyebrows quirk, is that...hope?

No. Wishful thinking

It’s probably confusion, and you’re a little embarassed, so you quickly clarify, “I mean Spencer Reid this is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. I’m endebted to you forever, really.”

A look washes over him: disappointment? You can’t trust your eyes to see the clock, so you feel you can’t entrust them to analyse his micro-expressions right now either. Especially when you’re biased by personal desire.

“It’s no problem,” He says, voice cracking a little, “You look...” He trails off.

“Unprofessional?” You suggest, teasing.

He shakes his head, swallowing, “You look really nice.”

It’s your turn to swallow. You drop your gaze to the pen, feeling too flustered to continue looking your colleague in the eyes at this moment in time, “Thank you. Where did you get slippers at this time of night?”

He shifts, one hand settling over the wrist of the other and fingers nervously rubbing over the back of his hand, “They were uhm. They were mine.”

“Yours?”

“Yeah,” It comes out pitchy, a squeak, “I’m sorry, that’s probably weird I just thought-”

“No, Spence,” You say, looking up at him and giving him a genuine smile, “No, it’s really sweet. I’m really lucky to have you.”

He gives his signature tiny tight-lipped smile, the one he gives when he’s feeling awkward or suppressing something he wants to say but can’t.

Please let it be the latter.

You relinquish him of the obligation of responding, instead standing to join him at the board, “You think you’ve got enough to make a geographical profile out of this?”

He nods, tapping the board with his pen, “Your idea about crossing interstate lines was really smart.”

“I have my moments.”

He wants to tell you that everything you have is a moment. You want to step closer, to cup his face in your hands, to press a kiss to the lips that you swear are pouting, begging to be kissed. You don’t.

Namely, because Rossi chooses this moment to re-enter the room, clutching three cups of coffee, “A little help here?”

From the way you spring apart, despite not even being that close, he wishes he’d taken a little longer. Damn kids and their inability to express their feelings for one another.

***

It’s 4:30am when the alarm on your phone goes off. With the work of the four of you - Garcia sporadically included when she had genius updates - you’ve managed to uncover a pattern that arches across states. You’d called Hotch, who’d commended the good work and advised that you should head to bed at 4:30. The others would get up then, and start to head out to the different potential crime scenes. Local PD was already on it.

You’d been told under no uncertain terms that you were to rest until at least 10am. Unless there was a call from Hotch. You prayed there wouldn’t be.

Rossi’s off the minute the alarm rings, bustling out the door with a “See you later kids.”

You wait behind while Spencer packs his things into his satchel. Or rather, unpacks his things from his satchel, frantically tearing it apart.

“What are you looking for?” You ask.

“My key card,” He murmurs, “I swear it was in my wallet.”

“You were rooming with Morgan, right? Want me to call him?”

“Yes please,” He says, continuing to unearth the contents of his bag onto the desk, with an increasing degree of agitation every second that goes by.

You dial Morgan’s number, and he answers after two rings, “Hey kid.”

You put the phone on loudspeaker.

“Hey. I’m with Spencer, we’re about to head up to our rooms for the night, are you still here? He can’t find his keycard.”

He lets out a breath of air through his teeth, “Sorry, I’m already on my way to one of the crime scenes. Local PD found a body over the state line. Nobody’s at the hotel but you guys and Rossi.”

Spencer outwardly sighs.

“No problem, we’ll figure something out.”

“Alright, good work kid, get some rest.”

The phone line clicks. Spencer’s brow is pinched with frustration, and your heart breaks for him. You’ve all been awake well over 24 hours, and he looks exhausted. He’s more eyebag than man at this point.

“Do you want me to go to the front desk?” You ask.

He shakes his head, “Reception doesn’t open until 6am. I’ll just wait here until then.”

He starts packing the belongings back into his bag, a resigned look on his face. And you have an idea.

“Actually,” You say, pulling the keycard out of your pocket and sliding it across the table to him, “You’ve just won one free pass to my bedroom.”

He picks the card up, squinting in confusion.

“Me and Rossi both got put in single rooms. I mean, it might not be the most comfortable thing in the world, both of us in a single bed, but it’s better than nothing right?”

He opens his mouth to object, and you shake your head.

“Spence you look like you’re about to drop unconscious on the floor and I don’t want to be responsible for yet another injureid.”

You’re so tired that the pun seems hilarious to you, and it does elicit a small laugh from him.

“Come on, it’s either share a bed with me, share a bed with Rossi, or try to sleep in one of these chairs. And I’ll be honest, I’d be kind of offended if you’d rather either of the other two options.”

“I can sleep on the floor,” He says, obviously warming up to the offer but not wanting to push his luck. You can hear the hesitancy in his voice.

“You can. But you won’t,” You tell him, settling your go-bag on your shoulder, “And might I remind you that all this time you’re spending objecting are minutes we could be spending sleeping.”

That seems to win him over. He tucks everything back into his bag, zipping it up, “After you.”

“You have the keycard,” You smile, “After you.”

***

The bed is a single bed. It prompts another round of ‘No really, I can sleep on the floor’ from Spencer, your enquiries about if it’s too much for his germaphobia or issues with touching, and his blushy embarassed reassurance that he doesn’t mind if it’s you.

He doesn’t mind if it’s you.

Not as if you’ll spend the next year mulling over those words or anything.

When you get out of the bathroom from changing, Spencer is tucked up in bed. Well, you say tucked up, but he’s practically lay right on the edge. How he’s actually physically still being supported by the mattress at this point must be his physics magic.

“I thought I said I didn’t want you getting injured,” You say, crossing the room to him.

He opens his eyes, “I didn’t want to-”

“It’s okay Spence,” You tell him, huddling down into bed.

There’s about enough room for you both to fit in, with an inch between you, so you pull gently at his arms, urging him closer.

“There’s enough room for us both without you going flying in the night,” You tell him.

He nods, obviously still a little nervous. It’s odd, lying face to face with him, illuminated only by lamplight. He looks soft. He always does, but there’s something intimate about this. You can feel his breath fan across your cheek, can feel how heat radiates off his arms.

“Do you want me to turn the lamp off?” He asks.

It’s not your staring that implores him to ask, because he’s been staring at you too. The both of you, trapped in a perfect bubble of a moment. Lamplight a spotlight, highlighting all the features of the person you love most.

“Sure,” You whisper, breath catching in your throat.

He flicks it off, settling back down.

His breath brushes against your face when he asks, “Do you want me to turn around?”

“Do you want to?”

He hesitates for a moment, voice even softer when he answers, “No.”

It’s dark. You can hardly make out his outline. Yet somehow, you both just know. Shifting, infitismally closer. Breaching the tiniest gap between you somehow feels like crossing the Grand Canyon. Your heart thumps in your chest, and you can feel it in your fingers, the fingers that trace cautiously along his jaw.

His mouth finally, finally, slotting against yours in the most gentle of kisses. A blink and you’d miss it.

And yet, in the same blink, your life changes forever.

When Rossi makes a speech at your wedding, he admits to being the thief of the missing keycard, and intentional orchestrator of the greatest love story he’s ever known. His words.

---

Permanent tagslist: @reidingmelodies @takeyourleap-of-faith @sassiest-politician @calm-and-doctor @ssa-m-187  @seasonfivereid @averyhotchner @muffin-cup @purplewaterbottles082 @spencerreid9 @drspencerreidd @reidsnose

(message/reply to this to be added or removed!!)

[therealvalkyrie]

Painter’s Hands and Guatemalan Coffee: Part 2

insomniac

Pairing/setting: Levi Ackerman x Female!Reader, modern!college!AU

Summary: When you catch your idiot boyfriend cheating, your grumpy roommate is there to pick up the pieces and watch your back as you toe a carefully drawn line in the metaphorical sand.  

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: insomnia, nightmares, (remembering) death, panic attack, cuddling, fluff

AN: Here she is!! I’ve decided to give oc a little ~tragic backstory~ and I really hope it comes across like I’ve intended. I wouldn’t go so far as to call in angst, necessarily, but there’ll definitely be some in the future. Also, I know I’ve painted Annie and Reiner in a really bad light so far in this particular fic, but please know that’s not how I view them in canon at all - it’s simply because someone had to be the bad guy:( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and as always don’t hesitate to reach out via reblog/ask with any suggestions/feedback/questions!! ~valkyrie

(read Part 1.5 here)

Bodies jostle against you in the darkness to the beat of music you can’t hear.  The buzzing gets louder, drowning out even your own screams for them to stop.

Stop. Stop. STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!

“STOP IT!” You can hear yourself this time, your voice embarrassingly loud in the cramped room. You slap hands over your mouth but everyone’s already turned to look at you, disgusted at the display of emotion. Even they peel their faces apart to sneer down their noses.

“Why should we?” Annie’s voice rings with superiority, swirling around the space and nestling in the crook of your neck. You shudder away, but the faceless bodies shove you back.

“Don’t you know this is your fault, anyway? You weren’t enough for me.” Reiner jeers with a satisfied smirk. The whole room laughs, cackling and giggling spitefully. You can’t move, muscles frozen, as they turn back to each other and continue making out. His hand in her hair, her thigh hooked over his hip, obscenely wet noises from their joined mouths.

You scream and scream and scream, jaw wide and aching, and all of a sudden the scene shifts and you’re at your mother’s bedside. Your breath hitches and you’re screaming in a child’s voice this time.

“Mommy, Mommy, no, please, no, MOMMY, PLEASE--”

Your hand twitches towards her and its movement against soft sheets brings you back to consciousness.

You’re spread-eagled in bed, comforter kicked almost completely off, chest heaving.

“One. Two. Three. Four…” you count in a hoarse whisper to yourself, staring out the window at gently falling snow illuminated in yellow streetlights. It takes you to one hundred and twenty-seven before you’re calm enough to do anything productive. 

You reach out a blind hand to find your phone on the nightstand and raise it up to check the time. 4:47 am. Nearly three hours of sleep.

Eh, good enough for jazz.

You heave a sigh, then push up to sit on the edge of your bed and flick on the lamp. The sudden bright light makes you squint against sharp pain behind your eyes and turn away in search of a sweatshirt. Some sifting through the ever-growing pile of laundry later, you settle on a green university hoodie and pull it on over your ratty tank top. Your toes and fingers always feel like icicles after waking up from a nightmare, so you find faux fur-lined slippers as well.

As you push past your bedroom door and into the living room, a figure in the comfy armchair catches the corner of your eye.

You nearly jump out of your skin before recognizing who it is. “Christ on a cracker, Levi! Nearly scared me half to death.”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry as he marks the page in his book and sets it on the coffee table.

“What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Well that’s not ominous or anything,” you mutter with an eye roll as you cross to the kitchen and set the kettle to boil for coffee.

Levi sighs and pinches the bridge of his elegant nose.

“Sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just… I noticed you haven’t been sleeping much lately and I’m worried.” He crosses to sit at the kitchen table and speaks to your back as you shuffle around the kitchen.

“What do you mean? Of course I’ve been sleeping. Whaddaya think I was just doing?”

“It’s five am, and you were still up when I went to sleep at twelve. Optimistically, that’s four hours of sleep. And yesterday you went to bed after one, but Hange said you were texting her at five-thirty, and--”

“Jeez, what, have you been stalking me or something?” you ask with an incredulous glance over your shoulder.

“We live together. It’s kind of hard not to notice.” Levi’s tone is the usual dry you’ve come to expect, but there’s an undercurrent that you’re too exhausted to pinpoint. “And Hange also told me she’s been worried.”

“What is this, an intervention? Just because I break up with someone I’m suddenly incapable of functioning?” Your voice (and headache) rises with each phrase, cracking on the morning dryness in the air, and you spin to face him.

“I didn’t say that, I--”

“Am I just supposed to wallow in misery for the rest of my life? No. I’m not doing that, Levi, I’m moving on. I-- I’m a busy woman, I’ve got finals and, and internship applications, and I happen to enjoy waking up early. I like watching the sunrise.” Though your words are rushed and you’re gesturing animatedly, uncertainty seeps through the stuttered phrases in your argument.

Levi lets you finish, then returns in a measured voice: “Why are you so defensive about this? I know you’re busy. So am I. But I manage to get more than four hours of sleep at night. I just want to help.”

His statement hangs in the air like dust mites, swirling around you and clinging to the sticky after-effects of the nightmare in your mind. You frown and drop your eyes to the linoleum, guilt settling into the stickiness.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Your voice is much softer. “I just--” A deep sigh. “I can’t sleep.”

“Why?”

The simple question makes your breath stutter and you scrub a hand down your face in an effort to ground your skin into reality.

“It’s so stupid.” It’s practically a whisper. “I have these nightmares. About my mom. I got them when I was younger, too, but eventually they just sort of… stopped. But now they’re back. And I can’t ever get back to sleep after, so I just stopped bothering to try.”

“You know, sometimes I get nightmares, too.”

The admission catches you off guard, your eyes widening. Levi always seems so… steady and sure, you wouldn’t have expected it.

“Really?”

He nods. “About my mom and the foster homes.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you…” Your heart sinks, and you don’t know how to say you’re sorry for the heartbreak he must’ve lived through with any semblance of tact.

“Yeah. It’s not something I talk about much.”

“Right.” You pause and chew on your tongue thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you have...strategies for when you can’t sleep because of them?”

“I have sleeping pills from my psychiatrist and some meditation practices that work for me. I can send you some resources, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’d really appreciate that if it’s not a bother.” You feel kind of sheepish now, for raising your voice, and so try to sound extra thankful for his help.

“It’s not.” He stands up and stretches both arms over his head, tipping his face up to the sky, lean body arching and twisting with the effort of it.  “I’ll send them to you later today. I’m gonna go back to bed.”

“Okay. Thank you, Levi.”

He nods and yawns, nose scrunching adorably. “Night, kid.”

“Good night.”

As his bedroom door clicks shut, you sigh yet again and turn off the stove. The first thing to avoid is probably coffee.

--

Your fingers flick off last rivulets of water as you step out of the shower. A shiver rattles its way up your spine before you can grab a towel to dry off. Bless Levi, he had done laundry today and the towel is still dryer-warm, smelling of his favorite fabric softener.

As you go through your evening routine (tooth brushing, face washing, hair drying), you can feel a quiet tension set into your shoulders despite the humidity of the bathroom.

The day had gone okay. You managed to resist coffee until 8 am and cut yourself off at 3. A lecture and a studio in the morning left the afternoon for library studying and a trip to the grocery store. 

You had actually seen Bertholdt there, in the cereal aisle. You hadn’t been too keen on having that particular conversation, but luckily he hadn’t seemed to be either. The pair of you exchanged sympathetically awkward smiles before turning back to the Cheerios. 

The evening consisted of ordering chinese takeout while obsessing over your latest architecture design project, followed by convincing Hange over the phone not to sleep in the mouse lab for extra credit.

“But Bean will be lonely!” she insisted hysterically. “And Sonny wasn’t looking too hot in lab today, what if he needs his mommy and I’m not there?”

“You’re not their mommy,” you reminded her. “They have each other to keep them company, and if Sonny dies, won’t it support your hypothesis anyway?”

She had eventually acquiesced when you promised to help her plan a memorial should they pass in the night.

So now here you are, skin slowly drying, as you psych yourself up in the mirror to go to sleep.

“It won’t be bad. Just use the meditations Levi sent you.” You try to inject confidence into your voice, but you only end up grimacing at yourself in the mirror. “Ah, fuck it.”

You tuck your towel in firmly around your chest and double check to see your things are put away before going back to your room.

As you pass, you hesitate by Levi’s door for a moment. His normal studying music, Chopin, is on and light creeps out from underneath. Another moment of uncertainty, then you gently knock and poke your head in.

“Levi?” He raises his head from where he’s hunched over an easel, paint brush in hand. Brow furrowed and body tensed like a strung bow, he doesn’t look happy to be interrupted.

Fuck.

“I, uhm, just wanted to say good night.”

He grunts and turns back to the painting.

You take that as your cue to leave.

Back in the sanctuary of your own room, you curse again and kick your desk chair, sending it rolling a couple inches.

Why had you bothered him? To say good night?

“Stupid, stupid, UGH.” Your dramatic outburst ends in flopping face-first into bed. Just because he felt concerned enough to stage a fucking intervention doesn’t mean he’s your fucking nanny. Idiot.

Eventually, you roll over and get up to change into pajamas. 

Settling into bed, you open your newly downloaded meditation app and start an audio.

“As you prepare for your meditation practice today, find a comfortable position sitting or lying down where you can fully relax….”

The cool female voice wraps your mind in a hazy blanket of fog and eventually coaxes your body into an achingly needed sleep.

--

This time the dream wakes you up whimpering into your pillow, arms flung above your head as though you’re skydiving. With a sucking breath, you lift your head to prevent imminent suffocation and instead settle on your side, staring unblinkingly into the darkness. Breath ragged in your chest, your mind can’t seem to move past the last image of your nightmare.

It’s burned into your retinas when you close your eyes and etched onto the moonlight-pale wall when they’re open: your mom’s pallid face staring up at the ceiling, hands resting on top of  her blue embroidered duvet cover, chest still.

A sob escapes your unwilling throat and you’re scrambling to sit up and reach for the lamp. The lamplight suddenly reminds you of your own existence in the physical plane, thrusting all your senses into sharp contrast.

Her greying, thinning hair, the frailty in her fingers, the cracks in her lips, the cloying scent of death.

“Nonononononononono,” you moan, hunched over your knees, fingers tangled in your hair. Your stomach is hollow, chest tight, tears now flowing in earnest. It hasn’t been this bad in a long time, not since 7th grade at least.

Do something, do something, you stupid bitch, your mind is yelling at you, and so you force your body to move. Somewhere, anywhere other than here.

You practically fall out of bed and then lean heavily on your desk to compensate for shaking knees as you move to the door. Feet shuffle in the darkness and all of a sudden you’re sniffling outside Levi’s door, fingers in a deathgrip on your shirt. One, two breaths and you knock three hesitant raps.

Fuck. Shit. Instant regret bubbles up in your throat and you pivot away. Before you can get far, the door opens and you hear Levi’s sleep-ragged voice utter your name like a question. Damn.

You turn back sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve woken you up. Go back to bed.” Your voice is unnaturally breathy as Levi tries to make you out in the dim light of the moon filtering in through the living room window. 

He reaches for your shoulder to gently pull you out of the shadows, and realization crosses his face as he registers the tear tracks and haunting terror in your eyes.

“It happened again,” he states.

You nod hesitantly and wipe at your cheeks with the back of one hand. You try again to tell him that no, really, you’re fine and he should go back to bed, but the words get lost in the tangle of truths between your brain and mouth.

Instead, what comes out is: “Can… can I sleep with you?” Your eyes finally flick to his before you quickly follow up. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I just- it helps to have someone close….”

Levi watches you for a moment before sliding his hand from your shoulder to your hand and tugging gently.

“Come on.”

You follow him inside and fidget awkwardly at the side of his bed as he climbs in. His room is impeccably neat, not that you would expect anything different from the man who once gave you a five minute lecture about leaving dishes in the sink to soak. It was the most words you’d heard him string together at the time, and he only stopped when he realized you were laughing.

“You sound like my Great Aunt Cheryl,” you said between hiccups of mirth. “Insufferable woman.”

He had looked at you scathingly, then made you promise never to leave the dishes for later again on pain of changing the wifi password.

Once he’s settled, Levi turns back the covers on your side and looks at you expectantly. You falter a split second before climbing in next to him, the familiar smell of his laundry detergent clouding around you as you fall back into soft pillows. He throws the comforter over you, then settles down and opens his arms.

“C’mere, kid,” he says with a tenderness that makes a sniffle catch in the back of your throat.

You roll into his arms, resting your head in the curve of his shoulder and breathe the first easy breath since you woke up. An arm flung around his middle means your whole body is against his, warming you up like a midafternoon nap in August.

Levi settles his arm around your back after tucking in the blankets and holds you like you’ve always belonged there. He gradually, gradually feels you relax into him as your breathing begins to match his own.

After a while, your eyes droop closed and Levi allows himself the indulgence of tucking his nose into your hair. A bouquet of lavender shampoo and you accompanies him softly into his dreams.

--

(read part 3 here)

[jjpogue]

TRUCE pt.2 — jj.m

Pairing: jj maybank x kook! reader

Summary: bored, you pay jj a visit a visit on a whim. He’s not the only pogue you end up seeing.

Length: 1.4k

Warnings: canon typical swearing, slow burn, romantic tension

A/N: the amount of love this series has gotten already is really encouraging and while the series is still early on and slowly building I hope you guys like this part!

Midsummers came and went and things seemed to be normal once again. Your incident with a particular handsome pogue was just that- an incident. A fluke. A one-time out of the ordinary experience. But you couldn’t help but to wish it wasn’t.

Since that day you had noticed Sarah at her home less and her father turning you away more often: ‘Sorry kiddo, she’s not here’. You were exasperated, each time you tried to reach out to her she seemed to be conveniently missing. Maybe she was avoiding you on purpose? Or maybe you were just making up an excise to feel sorry for yourself. It was probably just a coincidence. 

You walked along the coastline of figure 8. Mansion after mansion the whole way down. You came upon your own house, just as gaudy as the rest with custom trimmed topiary and a fountain in the backyard. Your mother was an interior designer and figured herself a landscaper as well, so your house looked like HGTV threw up all over it. 

You swung through the kitchen with its white marble countertops and inspiration blackboard and came out to the driveway through the front door. You  had wanted to get your license as soon as you turned 16. To have a grasp at real freedom as any kid’s dream, wasn’t it? So you did your part to earn your card and were gifted a brand new Lexus by your parents. Swinging the key ring around your finger, you slipped into the comfortable front seat. It was plush leather and still had that new-car-smell clinging on. 

It wasn’t hard to figure out where the infamous Maybank homestead was located. A few awkward conversations with some locals on The Cut later you were cruising down the road, your eyes looking back to your GPS map every so often to keep you on track. This wasn’t something you had thought about too hard, coming here. But you had nothing to do and nothing to lose. 

Pulling off onto the side of the road, you stepped out of your car and walked the last few feet to the dirt driveway and dilapidated house JJ called home. The paint was chipped and flaking and the floorboards of the porch creaked as you approached the front door. Maybe this was going to be a bad idea after all, you weren’t sure now.

Ignoring your second thoughts, you took the plunge and knocked on the door. Nothing. 

You furrowed your brows and knocked again, a little firmer this time, a little louder, and this time seemed to work. An older man, JJ’s father assumed, opened the door and looked down at you with a harsh, weathered gaze. A gaze that told you he’d seen many things in his life and you weren’t one of them. 

“Wrong residence.” Was all he muttered in his gravely tone before going to shut the door. You jumped forward and put your hand on the door, “Sir, wait!”

He paused and raised a brow at you, looking more impatient by the second. “I- I’m here to see your son. Is he home?” 

He leaned back and appraised you before turning his head and yelling, “Hey! There’s some rich bitch at the door! The fuck are you up to boy!?” He sent you one last nasty look before slamming the door in your face. 

You stewed a few seconds in your own stunned silence before the door creaked back open and JJ was peering at you. His expression was a mix of so many things it was impossible to gleam even one. “(y/n)? What are you doing here? How did you even find me?”

“I asked around. It wasn’t hard.” You looked up to JJ nervously, wringing your hands together, “Look this was a bad idea I should leave-”

“No.” JJ grabbed your wrist in his hand before you could take so much as one step. He looked back inside his home for a second before fully joking you on the porch. His hair was unruly and sticking out all which ways, but somehow it looked good on him. He was wearing a T-shirt he’d cut the sleeves off on, board shorts, a bandana sticking out one of the pockets.

 “Don’t regret coming, sweetheart.” Your brows raised a the nickname but it went unspoken. JJ still held your wrist and pulled you off the porch and out into the yard. He admired the water in front of the pair of you before looking back at you. His blue eyes as clear as crystalline waters. “I bet you’ve been thinking about me.” 

You scoffed at his shit-eating grin. “You wish! Actually, I’m just really bored.”

“Nothing exciting to do in your mansion?”

“Believe it or not I’m not as spoiled as you think I am.” You crossed your arms. 

JJ gesture to your Lexus parked not far away.

“Okay- well, that was special. Doesn’t count!” 

The pogue shook his head with a smile, “There’s a party happening at the boneyard if you’re interested.”

“Pass. I don’t feel like being your white knight again.”

“Fair. How about-”

“Hey JJ!!” 

You both whipped your heads around to see none other than John B in his beat-up van. He had his himself leaning out the window, “Who’s your friend!?” 

JJ grinned and waved at John B, walking up to the window of the van. “Dude, I met this hot kook girl at the party.” You scowled and hit his shoulder. 

“I’m not a piece of meat, douchebag.”

JJ smirked at you and leaned over you, wrapping one finely muscled arm around you dramatically. “Okay, so I met this cool chick who saved my ass from some kooks at the party.”

John B looked between the pair of you and smiled, “Wanna hang?”

“Really? I thought you guys all hated my kind.” You raised a brow, pulling JJ’s arm off of you; no matter tempting it may have been to let it stay right where it was.

“Hey, if you helped out my best friend then you’re alright in my book. Hop in.”

JJ pulled the side door open and walked right in, sliding into the passenger seat with John B. You hesitated but followed suit, picking out a seat behind them. You pulled the door shut after and felt the van purr back to life, pulling back onto the road. 

The wind slipped through your hair and the sound of the pogue’s in the front talking was a buzz in the back of your head. The van was big but cozy and surprisingly comfortable for being a fixer-upper to your standards. There were stickers and labeled stuck randomly across all the walls and the ceiling. Pillows, blankets and cushions all placed to create plenty of seating and places to relax. 

The hula girls bobbled on the dash and you could smell the salt of the sea and the sweat after a session surfing, the image of John B and JJ riding the waves in your mind. Washboard abs and glistening tanned skin. That devilishly handsome smile turne-

“(y/n)? Hey, earth to (y/n).” You blinked and turned your head to see JJ’s blue eyes. 

“What? Sorry.” You mumbled, feeling silly for having spaced out.

“We’re going out on our boat. You still feel up to it? It’s alright if you don’t wanna.” John B offered and you were surprised by how civil he was. He looked at you and you didn’t see any malice, any hatred, in his eyes. 

“Oh- yeah, uhm, sure.” You floundered, utterly caught off guard by these boys. You were completely out of your element all of a sudden and it had smacked you in the face. 

The three of you got out of the van and walked through another yard, John B’s you presumed, and out to the connected dock. A little boat with ‘HMS POGUE’ painted in thick, blocky white letters on the side was resting there. 

The boys were quick to hop aboard and get the vessel ready and you simply, watched, standing awkwardly on the dock. Truthfully, you didn’t know the first thing about boats. And despite living in the outer banks you could count on one hand the times you’d been on a ship smaller than a ferry. 

“I’m not too heavy right?” Images of the boat sinking under your weight were conjured in your brain and you shuddered. The boys only paused before laughing at you. 

JJ reached his hand out to you from the edge of the boat, “You’re alright (y/n), do you trust me?”

MASTERLIST

Part 1 — Part 3?

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TAGLIST

@emmasjulixn​ - @vanessa123-13​ - @treestarrrrrrrr​ - @alwayshopelesss​ - @mileven-reddie​ - @downbytheouterbanks​

[jiaraendgame]

Hi! Can you write a little blurb about Rafe?? Maybe like his reaction to you deep cleaning your guys’ apartment and maybe you found a number or something? And he reassures you that it’s not what you think?? Idk something like that. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, thank you!

Wires Crossed Rafe x Reader

A/N: Lovely anon I’m sorry this took two days to finish up! Thank you so much for being the first person ever to ask me for a blurb! I had planned for it to be done way sooner, but uh I got a bit carried away. I am not good at writing anything small so oops! This is lowkey no longer a little blurb as requested but a full imagine/fic I hope you like this little adventure! 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of past drug abuse, baby angst, fluff, domestic Rafe. Non-canon Rafe IE he isn’t a murderer. Probs out of character a bit cause I lowkey usually write the psycho mean Rafe so this was a challenge but I enjoyed it!

Word Count: 3k+

It was no surprise you were up before Rafe was. You’d always been an early riser. However, when you awoke right as the sun just began to kiss your cheeks through the blinds, you knew you’d be waiting quite some time for your sleepy boyfriend to join you for the day. You look up at Rafe’s soft face. Mouth slightly ajar as faint hums of breath leave his lips. He looked so saintly at this moment. You didn’t want to disturb him, so you attempted to slip from his arms, but the motion caused the boy to stir. Curse his light sleeping, you thought. The boy's eyes softly fluttered open and gazed down at you as he instinctively pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Good morning, angel…” his voice slurred in its sleepy tone. “Where are you going so early this morning? It’s barely even…” He glances at the clock sitting on the nightstand. “Baby… it’s barely even 6:30am, don’t leave me yet.” He whines as he wraps his arms back around your torso.

You giggle at the pout on his face as he reels you in burying his face in your neck. You can feel his breath on your skin, tempting you to lay here with him for a moment longer. However, you knew if you didn’t get up now, you’d be late for the events Rafe had planned for the day.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, babe, I was just trying to prepare for today. Seeing as you haven’t told me any of the events you had in store. I need to be ready for anything with you.” A light giggle escapes your lips.

“ Just close your eyes again love, you can drift back off for a while, and in another hour or so, you can join me, okay? Just because I’m up doesn’t mean you have to be.”

“But baby doll, I want to make sure you are rested for the day I have planned. You know me and the boys can get a bit chaotic, I don’t need you getting worn out because of us.”

It’s true whenever Topper and Kelce visited from the Outer Banks, you were sure in for a rush of excitement that often ended up tiring you out. Unfortunately, you were the type of person who once you were awake, there was no way for you to fall back asleep. Even if you are comfortable and safe in the arms of your love.

The boy was drifting back to sleep, and you used this as your opportunity to free yourself from his loving grip. One more sleepy glance and sigh, leaving Rafe’s lips. He knew he has lost this battle. 

“Looks like you’re the one who will need the rest babe, just sleep a bit more I will be out in the living room when you are ready to get up.” You whisper to Rafe placing a soft but chaste kiss to his lips. “Sweet dreams, my sleepy boy.”

He smiles as you pull away, “I’ll be dreaming of you, angel.” With that, it was not long before Rafe had fallen back into his slumber. You raise from the bed as softly as you can silently leave the bedroom, closing the door with a subtle click. Today was shaping up to be interesting if Rafe was this lovey-dovey in his sleepy state.

Looking around your small apartment, you began to realize that neither of you had cleaned for days. There was glassware and other miscellaneous dishes piled in the sink. Books and papers spread across the breakfast bar from your late-night study session. But the worst culprit was the living room. There were clothes on the floor next to the almost toppling hamper and throw blankets splayed across the back of the futon. 

It’s not that you and Rafe were messy, quite the opposite usually, but as of late with everything going on, you both let your daily tasks slip your minds. The small one-bedroom apartment looked as if a tornado blew through it, and thus you found your distraction to keep you occupied until Rafe was ready to go to brunch. Topper and Kelce were visiting from the Outer Banks, and you couldn’t have them see your apartment in this state. Even if they were used to more luxurious accommodations, you didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable in your home. These were Rafe’s best friends, after all, you had to remind them that you could hang with the best of them even if you lacked the money they had. 

Even though you had been with Rafe going on 3 years now, you worried you weren’t good enough for him. So you always went the extra mile to impress the people in his life. Even though you didn’t have to. Rafe loved you for you, and you found each other at the right time. You saved Rafe from his downfall of addiction. Taking him in when his father kicked him out. Saving him from himself and ultimately helping him grow as a person. He uplifted you and motivated you to work towards your dreams that you once believed would amount to nothing. He proved to you that you were worth more than the words of hate that your mother spewed to you daily. He pushed you to achieve the best, and now you are going for your degree in criminal justice. The final push you needed to go for your goal was witnessing Rafe break down when his father was sentenced for murder. That nearly sent the boy over the edge, but you pulled him back, and that was when Rafe knew you were the one. You two were like a puzzle that just clicked, fitting into place so perfectly it was frightening for both of you.

Sighing at the chores in front of you, you decide to tackle the kitchen first, cleaning the dishes while simultaneously getting water everywhere. This is why Rafe was in charge of the dishes. You always seemed to make more of a mess than you planned to. Rafe would always joke that you weren’t meant to be a housewife. After cleaning up the dishes and mopping up the new mess you created on the floor, your first task was done. Before wiping down the counters, you cleaned off and organized your notes and books from the breakfast bar. These were the times you really wished you had a house with its own study, much like Rafe’s childhood home. It was evident with the two of you living together for so many years that you started to run out of space. As you cleaned, things began to feel better, the atmosphere calmer. 

You threw on a pot of coffee so it would be ready for when Rafe woke up, knowing he needed his caffeine before facing the day. Let’s just say if he didn’t get his morning cup, he was the poutiest and grumpiest of bears all day. You giggled to yourself, thinking back to the first time Rafe stayed over with you. You never drank coffee. It wasn’t your beverage of choice, but boy did you quickly invest in a small coffee maker when you saw him without caffeine. He stumbled out of your bedroom, groggy rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and subconsciously raided your cabinets for a mug. The shock on his face when you told him you didn’t drink coffee still makes you chuckle. He whined at you like a child until you took him to the nearest Starbucks. He was cute when he was grumpy, but boy did his childlike manner know how to get under your skin. This boy was no morning person.

Out in the living room, you started to gather up the throw blankets and folded them neatly, placing them inside the ottoman next to the futon. Sighing, you knew you had to attack the mountain of laundry next. You gathered the near toppling hamper and dragged it to the door so it would be ready to run down to the laundromat, but you couldn’t leave the excess pile on the floor. You grabbed an empty basket and started throwing clothes into it. A mix of sweatshirts, pants, polos, and crop tops quickly filled the small wicker basket The remaining items left behind are a pair of your jean shorts followed by a pair of Rafe’s khakis.

You picked up Rafe’s tan khaki shorts, and they feel heavier than normal. You dig your hand into his pockets and pull out the spare apartment keys that hung on a lanyard. Setting them on the table, you notice a torn piece of paper had slipped to the floor. You pick it up and see a number scribbled out on it. That was odd.

Why did Rafe have a random number in his shorts? Why didn’t he just keep it on his phone if he needed it? Who’s number was this? Was he using again? Your head spiraled, and panic set it. There was no way he’d hurt you, right? Not after everything you’ve two have been through. He loved you, right? You loved him. 

You knew better than to panic, but those three little words swallowed your heart when you thought of Rafe, and if there was any chance, he didn’t feel the same you had to know. Against your better judgment, you pull your phone off the charger and start to dial the number. Hesitating before pressing send.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Click...

“Hello?”

You gulp at the sound of a sickeningly sweet voice that answered the phone.

“Uhm yeah hi, sorry, but w-who is this?”

“This is Stacey, who is this?” The sweet voice sounded just as confused as your thoughts were.

“I found this number in my b-“ you pause before finishing your sentence. Instead, opting for asking what you need to know.

“Do you know Rafe Cameron?” You blurt out the string of words connected by one fast breath.

“Oh! Rafe! Yes, of course, I know him. He’s such a cutie!” The voice rang out with a giggle.

“We spent some wild times together back in the day, but anyways I never caught your name or why you’re calling actually.” She spoke a hazed tone to her voice.

The line was silent. You didn’t know what to say or think anymore. Only one thought rang in your head. Rafe was cheating on you.

Before Stacey could speak again, you hung up the phone. A mix of hurt and angry tears slipping from your sockets. You couldn’t believe he did this. All the times he told you you were his only one had all been lies. Nothing made sense, and throwing 3 years of a relationship down the drain hurt more than you could have ever imagined.

You loved this boy with all your heart, and he shattered yours. Your emotions took over as if you were on autopilot. You watched your actions unfold from within. You picked up the basket of clothes and stormed into the bedroom. The doorknob hit the wall startling the sleeping boy, but before he could realize what was going on, you dumped the clothes onto him in a huff.

“Did ya lose something, babe?” You seethe through your teeth.

The groggy boy wiping sleep from his eyes stutters out, barely coherent words.

“Wh-What? What’s going on? Baby, are you okay?”

You scoff at Rafe, “Am I okay? Ha! I’d be a lot better if I had never found this fall out of your pocket this morning, asshole.”

You ball up and chuck the torn paper at Rafe, who looks from your beet-red face back to the paper. Eyes going wide at your discovery.

“You’re such an asshole, you know that? I can’t believe after everything you’d stoop so low Rafe Cameron.”

“I really fucking thought you’d changed, that you weren’t some arrogant prick who begged the world to praise the ground you walked on, but I guess I was wrong. Can take the boy from the Kooks but can’t take the Kook out of the boy.” You spat your words out.

“N-no baby, you don’t understand hold on just let me explain!”

“Explain what? That you cheated on me with some bitch named Stacey? That you held my heart in your hand and knowingly crushed it just to get your rocks off? Pathetic Rafe truly and utterly pathetic!”

Rafe was visibly upset, looking at you through glassy eyes. He didn’t want you to be hurt. That’s the last thing he wanted, but there was no way you’d listen to him that this was all just a big misunderstanding.

“Baby doll, please just take a few breaths. This is not what you think.” He sweeps his arms up and pulls your hands into his. You sit on the edge of the bed, avoiding his gaze.

“I swear to you I would never in my life do anything to hurt you. Babe, how could I? I love you more than anyone on this godforsaken planet.”

You looked over to Rafe, the anger you held, turning to pure sadness. You didn’t know what to think, so all you could do was listen. 

He rubbed circles with his thumbs on the backs of your hands. Holding you tight. “You’re my person, baby doll. My only person. You came into my life when I was so lost. You picked me up when my father kicked me out. You got me to get clean and was with me through all the relapsing and withdrawals. You never left my side. Always faithful. I would never dream of breaking your heart when you’re the one who found mine.” 

You sigh a shaky breath and look into your beautiful boyfriend's eyes, still just as lost, but you knew what he said was real. The warmth in your heart grew once more. Leaning into his touch, you speak with a sheepish tone.

“If this is a misunderstanding, then tell me the honest truth, Rafe. Who is Stacey, and why did you have her number?”

Rafe cups your face with his hands and looks you straight in the eyes.

“Y/N, I love you, okay?” 

He waits a minute, and getting no response from you, he continues. 

“Stacey is one of Sarah’s old friends from the Banks. We hung out a bit back in the day, but that was years ago. She was a big partier and a bit of an enabler. We would both do lines together and raise a bit of hell, but honestly, that's all our friendship was.”

“Okay... why are you talking to her now?”

“Well, baby, Sarah gave me her number because Stacey runs a well known...  uh, business.” The hesitation in your boy's voice makes you wince. Was he lying again?

“And what kind of business are we talking about? Rafe, you told me you’d be honest. I-I can’t take the lying, please just be straight with me here.”

Rafe sighed as he was about to come clean, but luck was on his side. You hear the rough knock knock knock come from the front of the apartment. Your guests were here. You knew this was his escape plan now, hoping you wouldn’t bring anything up in front of his friends. Usually, he’d be right, but this time you weren’t letting him off the hook. Not with how hurt you were feeling.

Rafe and you both stepped towards the door, opening it to see two smiling faces. Topper and Kelce looked strangely eager.

“My boys! You couldn’t have come at a better time!” The shirtless and sweat-panted boy spoke ushering his friends in.

They exchanged hugs and a few quick whispers as you stood back arms crossed.

“So, do you two know about Stacey?” The words fall out of your mouth.

They look at her and back to Rafe, concern in their eyes.

“Uhh, I mean, we know Stacey from back in the day,” Kelce spoke openly.

“Yeah she was pretty cool, I wonder what she’s doing nowadays. Don’t see her around the Banks anymore, really.” Topper adds.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what she’s been up to. Her and Rafe have been talking ain’t that right handsome?”

Rafe sighs, eyeing the boys. Before he could speak again, you spoke up.

“So to continue our conversation, Rafe, what business is Stacey in, and why you have any interest in it?” 

The two boys are wide-eyed. “Y/N really, there is something you're missing here.”

“Yeah, a real misunderstanding!”

“Oh, not you guys too! I can’t believe this. Why don’t you see what’s happened is wrong?”

“Baby doll, can I just say one more thing before you make up your mind in what has happened?”

“Fine... this better be good, Cameron.”

Rafe quickly turns to his boys, huddled up like they were having a meeting. Mumbles exchanged. Through the hushed tones, you managed to catch Topper asking Rafe if he was sure this was the right time and him replying he had no choice he couldn’t lose you.

Rafe turns around and looks you in the eyes, his hand hidden behind his back.

“Y/N, you mean the absolute world to me. You are my everything. You balance me in ways I never knew possible, and every day I wake up, I realize I love you more and more. I’ve grown so much with you in my life, and I wouldn’t beg for it to change. I want our lives to continue to keep growing together. I want our adventures to bring us to crazy places. I want to wake up every day with no doubt in my mind that you are truly and perfectly my girl. Forever. So please listen to me when I say, everything you are feeling right now is so incredibly false. I would never do anything to intentionally harm you. I love you so damn much Y/N, and that’s why I need to know...”

There is a pause as Rafe swiftly drops to his knee. Your mouth hangs open in complete shock. You are stunned at the sight in front of you as he brings his arm out front and opens up a small black velvet box. Inside, a dainty silver band holds a shining crystal clear diamond. Topper and Kelce beam behind the boy kneeling anxious for the next words that fall from his lips.

“Will you marry me?” Rafe’s eyes glass over once more, but not from hurt like earlier but with pure and resounding love for the girl in front of him.

Tears begin to slip from your eyes. You can’t believe you ever thought Rafe would take away all you have built together in the last three years. You felt the guilt in your stomach whirl. Unsure if you can accept the love and admiration coming from the boy you love knelt in front of you.

“Rafe... I am so... so incredibly sorry.” You sob out hands covering your face.

Rafe is up in seconds encasing you in his arms, laying a kiss on your hairline.

“Shh baby doll, it’s okay, I promise. I’m here. It’s okay, love. Don’t be sorry. I know it looked suspicious. I just wanted to surprise you.”

“I-I still don’t understand.”

Rafe chuckles a bit before explaining.

“My love, Stacey is an old friend from Outer Banks. She and Sarah are still pretty tight. And she happens to be in the business of custom jewelry... she makes some of the best work on the east coast.”

Realization dawns on you once more at how terribly you read the situation.

“I was in contact with her cause I wanted to make my girl a custom ring that was one of a kind, just for you and no one else. That’s part of the reason the boys came up. So they could deliver the ring to me.”

“I can’t believe I was so worked up, oh my god baby. I’m so sorry I never wanted to be the jealous girl, but I was just so, so heartbroken at the thought of losing you... I can’t lose you, babe.”

You stand silently inhaling the scent of the love of your life who you screamed at for trying to surprise you with the best gift you’ve ever received.

“So... does that mean she said yes or?” Topper and Kelce chuckle trying to defuse the awkward tension in the room.

You erupt into laughter, and so does Rafe. You wrap your hands around his neck, pulling his lips down to yours.

“Forever and always, baby... yes, I’ll marry you.” At that moment, you encompass him in a deep kiss, not caring you had company in the room. You were hungry for his love and embrace more than ever before.

You couldn’t wait to live the rest of your life with Rafe, and who knew what the future held for you both. One thing was for sure you would tackle it together face on because nothing mattered to you more than the bliss you felt for your one true love.

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[devintrinidad]

So Uhm, CAW anon here. I haven’t been into Hetalia for years. But I feel like talking about a few things I noticed back in fandom a lot that I didn’t see at all in the canon manga/anime (though Hetalia itself is just a fanfic of history. I’m only focusing on character and relationships present in the canon series). 

Ok a lot has probably changed since the last couple of years in fandom. But back then I saw a lot of depictions of the FACE group: England and Canada not having much of a relationship. France and Canda being the closest while France and America aren’t close at all. America and Canada having a strained if not dysfunctional brotherly bond. Canada having no backbone and being a sad sack all the time or just being a pure angel with no flaws. America being too childish.

I’m going to try to remember all the canon bits to back me up. But I’m mostly curious if there’s anything off and your (most likely much more up to date and informed) thoughts. 

Canada and England have a pretty good relationship from what I’ve seen. We’ve sen plenty of material of England being present in colony Canada’s life. He used to cook for him too (poor Canada) and Canada spent almost about the same amount of time with him as America did. Later on Canada chose Enlgand over America when the colonies revolted. He didn’t want to pick a side but in the end he did. He fought against American troops. Was there when England was heartbroken over the fighting. He even acted as a strategist, using his knowledge as America’s twin brother to use America’s weaknesses against him (sending surrender papers inside a basket of food. America was so hungry it took George Washington telling him to resist to not take the bait).  Later on when America and Canada were trying to mend their relationship. Canada would get so nervous and have England talk for him all the time instead (which only confused America). England did it without any fuss despite any issues he and America might still have. Overall Canada recalls having a good childhood and England was a part of that. The two might not be as close as America and England are, but they have their own history and bond both are very comfortable and happy with each other. 

America and Canada. Fans I ran into often focused on America and England’s dynamic history. But the North American brothers have a lot of their own turmoil and strength to them as well. While Canada might,moan about being invisible and such. Canada also remembers having a very fun childhood with America. So much he remembers how sad he was when America grew up much faster then him and couldn’t play with him all the time like he used to. When Canada told America he didn’t want to fight, only to choose England, America felt betrayed. He loved Canada and wanted his twin brother to fight for freedom with him. Their relationship went pretty sour for a long time. But the two did end up trying to be mature later on in life and congratulate each other despite how annoyed they are at how different the other is. 

From there we only get brother goodness. They can bug each other a lot. Canada takes for granted everything America has done and gone through, things that have also been good for Canada. While America likes to mess with Canada and act pushy with him. They do like to horse around and spend time together. Despite their differences, they’re probably the closest siblings in the world of nations. They’ve gone through their bitterness and still chose to be close brothers in the end. They like to play sports together. They like to use their appearances to mess with England who can’t tell them apart like France can. They call each other on the phone a lot. They have a joint Search for Santa Claus operations every winter. America respects Canada’s opportunity and ability to easily get along with others. He also takes Canada’s concerns very seriously and offers reasonable and helpful advice such as how to help his citizens get along. Canada’s opinions must mean a lot to him since Canada is the only individual to make America cry in despair when he went into his 3 hour insult rant against him. Despite his complaints about his personality, Canada looks up to America as a big brother who he always goes to for comfort or help. He respects and admires America a lot and trusts him as his closest confidante (after his polar bear. Not that that bear is ever helpful). Overall America and Canada have their downs like every sibling pair has. But they also seem to have a very strong and stable connection where they can act like brothers and best friends. Sometimes I think it’s easier to imagine America is closer to Canada then he is to England. 

America and France. Back then these two didn’t get a lot of attention. Which is strange because there’s tons of material of them interacting throughout the centuries. France used to cook for America when England wasn’t around (I bet when Colony America said English food was as good as French food, some thing broke inside France. The reason America started disliking English food is because France made it his mission to salvage some of his tastebuds. Xp). France has been the only FACE member to stay by America’s side without conflict. Both of them obviously had a close bond since France gave America Lady Liberty and you could see teasing and ruffling America’s hair like a big brother. The two hang out a lot. They go to Maid Cafes together. They seem to have lunch together all the time at conferences since France is always looking for America to go eat together. They apparently also have sleepovers a lot and like to compare different genres of movies. Whatever issues their people can have with each other never seems to affect their personal interactions. France is the big brother of love and that’s sometimes a running gag for jokes. But he really seems to be like a normal big brother figure for America. He often worries about America and Russia’s scary relationship and chides England for raising America to be weird. In a deleted strip, France is preventing America from drinking alcohol because he’s too young (being physically 19). It also gets a bit heartwarming when you recall the Joan of arc strips where France meets the reincarnation of Joan and she’s an American. Almost like America is now taking care of Joan and giving her the opportunity to be free and happy in ways she couldn’t before. 

Also while it’s not part of their dynamic. It’s always interesting that when the author wanted to show the Nation’s personal relationships with humanity. He always chose America and France. The supposed happy go lucky airheads who often gain a affectionate yet somber (to even downright tragic) experience from it. 

Overall America and France have a nice quiet and stable relationship. You could say while England raised America as a colony. France was among the mentors to America on how to be his own Nation. 

I think that’s it. Again my memory might be foggy but that’s what I can recall. =P

~~~

WAIT A MINUTE YOU’RE ALSO A HETALIAN??? AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME???

Okay, I’m going to prioritize this ask/submission thing first because wow, you’re a Hetalian and Hetalia has a special place in my heart. First of all, I’m kind of flattered that you think that I’m up to date for this, hahaha. I’ll have to tell you, while I do know a lot about American history, I’m actually more of a fan of the Itabros, hehehe.

A few tumblr people that I know specialize in Hetalia and have already posted FACE dynamics a lot in the blogs are, but not limited to: @historihet  @stirringwinds and @ellawritesficssometimes. I’m not sure if Ella is still active, but there’s a lot of content that you can browse through if I’m not thorough. Also, again, the list of tumblrs that have been associated with FACE are definitely more than I can imagine, those are the three that I follow and know off the top of my head.

To @historihet @stirringwinds @ellawritesficssometimes, I love your interpretations and love for history! If I say anything inaccurate or something you don’t find to your liking, please inform me! I don’t want to spread misinformation and I’m just so excited to talk about Hetalia to my dear Anon Friend :D 

If you’re reading this, I hope that you all have a wonderful day! And keep up the great work with your own analyses/fanart/fanfiction/etc. You guys rock and keep the fandom alive. :D

Anywhoozles, what you said here is fairly accurate. FACE definitely has its up and downs. Assuming that you haven’t been active in the fandom since... let’s say 2012-2014ish era, you might have noticed that the common bonds are Canada and France (platonic), France and England (rivalry/lovers/enemies), and the most concerning relationship America and England (brothers/rivals/lovers???). What you said in your analysis really applies within the sense of what is considered to be manga/anime canon, not necessarily historical canon. 

In historical canon (if you want to go down that route), FACE is one dysfunctional mess if you want to consider it as one family unit. Every one of them at one point has been at each other’s throat at one point (whether it be at war or just snubbing the other because of politics). 

We have:

1. The Revolutionary War (England vs America)

2. War of 1812 (Canada/England vs America, with special emphasis in 1814 because Canada burned down America’s White House if I remember correctly)

3. The XYZ Affair (I’m pretty sure it was a snub in diplomacy??? which actually started a war???)

4. The fact that American promised to help France in their own revolution, but Washington said no because we’re still a new country and all that jazz (...I know this because of Hamilton IF YOU’RE ALSO A HAMILFAN I WILL CRY)

5. And like the entire history of France/England is just its own thing

As you can probably tell, FACE... I think was just a  term for the fans to make this makeshift family dynamic that is cute in some respects if this was like a human au, but definitely a cluster of effs if you imagine them as eldritch abominations that were brought to life because of human imagination. 

Like, the dynamics can go in so many directions if you want to choose one aspect of history over another. 

In @stirringwinds, they often write/draw about America as this Prodigal son who happens to be like the Crown Prince succeeding his once proud father. (America turning into a superpower after the World Wars and the English Empire just kinda dismantling itself because of everything.... OF COURSE THAT’S AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION, PLEASE DON’T KILL ME FOR INACCURACY!

Whereas for another tumblr, @historihet they portray the USUK relationship as more of a ship. Like, the whole brother relationship that is skewed in the anime/dubs/subs (this is due to the fact that some fans take the whole older brother thing too literally because in Japan, you call your elders/peers that happen to be older than you via polite endearments) is more of a... I’m not gonna say paternal, but it was more of a mentor thing? I’m not sure, I haven’t interacted with them much, but I’m pretty sure they ship it. Plus, their art is so amazing and they’re obviously a fan of history because wow, their head canons and their art is so beautiful and detailed.

As for the whole France and Canada relationship, I think this can be further elaborated via @ellawritesficssometimes. I remember reading that France and Canada, while having a similar relationship to England and America, it wasn’t that close or as heartwarming as many fans make it out to be. If you follow Canadian history, I’m pretty sure Canada was under French rule for a sort time before becoming part of the English Empire. Like, Canada was part of the Empire for a longer time than under France. This means that France wasn’t always there, England was. You can further read between the lines about the English/Canadian relationships, especially if you consider the fact that America fought an entire revolution to get away from England because of neglect on England’s part and on Canada’s part.... all he had to do was ask. 

Soooooo....

Overall, I’m glad that you told me that you were part of the Hetalia fandom. It’s nice to see that the fandom is still alive and kicking, hahah. That reminds me, I’ve got to finish my series concerning Italia Veneziano, oops. Just wondering, but why did you want to talk about this? Not that I mind, it just seems out of the blue... 

Thanks for the analysis and your chat! I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D

Please don’t tell me you want a FACE fic, hahahah. XD

[smolbeandrabbles]

Director’s Cut 2: Ralph Anderson

“In interviews I read Mendo aiming for a Gary Cooper type performance, strong, silent type. I think your fics are AU, right? Not much mention of the Terry Maitland case or El Cucuo. So are the fics with the OFC with the child fix-it fics for the loss of Derek in the show? At any rate, I enjoy his fics. 

I read the Outsider, I love Stephen King and was cautious about the tv show because Holly Gibney appears in earlier books ( the Bill Hodges series) and I am protective of her character, I think they did her justice in the show and I was truly captivated by Mendo’s performance. You’ve posted stuff about disliking the series. Can I ask why?”

So, I’m gonna tackle this in 4 pieces. 3 for the different tracks I’ve written Ralph under - and then my opinion of the series!

Like with my Andrew one I’m gonna refer to my Readers by their OC names.

1: Trouble (un-named Reader character)

I’ll start with the two sets of fics that include the theme you’re specifically referring to: with Reader and her baby being a replacement for Derek. Very true, I thought it was a good premise for the request given to me; I originally started with something more romantic - without Jeannie where Ralph/Reader end up together, buuuuut I liked it a little more keeping Jeannie there and giving the Anderson’s a child back (as it were.)

Not necessarily AU set though, this particular fic is set before the events of The Outsider the TV show, hence why Jack Hoskins is also kicking around. 😁 My mistake for not mentioning that fact anywhere, but yeah, Terry and El Cuco hasn’t all happened yet, and therefore are kept out.  But, staying on the ‘replacement for Derek’ and ‘lack of mention of Terry & El Cuco’ theme...

2: Harmony & Renee Andersson: ( Sure Be Cool If You Did / Bienvenue From Hell, Mon Amour / Made in the USA / Cold Night / I Could Not Ask For More / Thank you Muppets, No More Questions! / Under The Weather)

This is where I started with Ralph, roughly a year ago before the show came out. I’d read the book, the trailer was out and I wanted to write for him and the character I’d come up with as his S/O - Harmony.  With all I had to go on at the time really the book, we retain all Book!Canon names, settings and personalities/relationships in this series.

Because I removed Jeannie & Derek entirely (no divorce or deceased children here!) yes, this is certainly AU set. The reason why El Cuco and Terry get fleeting 1 sentence mentions (often just referred to as “The Impossible Case”) is because this AU is set after the events of The Outsider.  Harmony transfers to Flint City as a new Detective and replaces the now deceased Jack Hoskins. Although she’s much more Ralph’s partner than he was.

Because I wanted to keep that family dynamic / fatherly thing that Ralph has going on. And because I hadn’t really explored it before, Harmony has her adopted daughter, Renee... and so she kinda replaces the ‘Derek’ factor! 

The Andersson / Anderson thing is intentional, more importantly the R.Andersson / R.Anderson thing is intentional  😁 It’s a good source of banter, and things I have yet to write! *ehem* proposal fic anyone? *ehem* 3: Dia (Shifter!Reader) -  Halfway Home / Control (3rd part coming soon)

This is really the only series where I go into detail about the Case - although ‘Halfway Home’ only really gives a quick skim over of all the events of the show as again, the majority of this is set after The Outsider - but is more directly influenced by what happened in the show than my ‘main’ series is.

Again, Derek and Jeannie don’t exist - and Dia and Ralph have been together four years prior to the events of the series. So, yes! AU, but show AU rather than book AU this time as we retain the same characters, personalities and settings from the show.  This started as more of a ‘what if’ exploration. “What if you found out your S/O was a mythical being?” and then also got to explore the “Well, Ralph’s just encountered one and it wasn’t good. What is his reaction to her going to be?”  And I like the good / evil black/white and also ‘grey area’ twist I get to put on this series as well as other themes I get to explore surrounding trust, and the depth of your love for someone, why people lie about things, and that idea of ‘not judging a book by its cover’ or... ‘tarring everyone with the same brush’ (or whatever you’d want to call it). Kinda... ‘love and consequences’.

I got to explore ... uhm... explain? a lot more of Show!Ralph’s personality in this one. I guess it was helpful to me, and also therapeutic! haha! 😅 I ripped out his episode 10 monologue to The Outsider and had him say it nearly word to the woman he’d loved for 4 years (who happens to be a shapeshifter) and it just hit better - side note, the way Ben delivered that gave me chills...

Interestingly although we don’t have a child present, I still tackle the theme of children here. I don’t have a replacement for Derek - but I keep the fatherly Ralph idea present through a look at wanting to, but not being able to, have kids.

4: My Dislike of the Show

I mean I don’t like talking about the fact that I don’t like the show as much as I really want to talk about the fact that I don’t like the show. I know a whole bunch of people really like the show and I don’t want to come across as “that person” or like “you can’t have that opinion!” or... talk bad about something that someone really enjoys, right? I’m also conscious that a lot of the Newer members to the Mendo fam are here because of this show (Welcome guys! It’s so lovely to have you join us 🥰) and I always wish to be kind and helpful towards the newbies! 🙏 I don’t want them to feel like they can’t come talk to me because of my dislike for what brought them to our little fandom.

But it comes down to this: I really, REALLY loved the book. I don’t ever think I’ve loved a book and it’s characters so much. It was my first Stephen King novel and is such a great introduction to his writing. Yes, I basically only read it because Ben was going to be in the show - but, bottom line is I couldn’t wait to see this book be brought to life on screen... And it just wasn’t the same. I get that changes need to be made between page and screen, but I really think they made too many (in many cases unnecessary!) changes. Characters completely changed how they acted, relationships between characters changed because of this. Plot points were scrapped in favour of... new little side stories that didn’t add anything... 

Unfortunately, Ralph Anderson (and as our main character, perhaps also the one they should have just left alone!), suffers from this the most. 

Essentially I will never understand how we got this show from that book. How the writers can read Stephen King’s novel and go “Yeah, this is great but you know what would be better-!” and then... write this show.   I do plan to do an in depth analysis of the shows 10 episodes... Probably next year when it’s been out a year and my feelings have settled...! 😊 And maybe that will help things!

Thank you for asking, I really appreciate it! Actually your ask made me realise that even when I write a character with several different readers to interact with, there are certainly similar themes that I run with for these characters. (Kids, in Ralph’s case for sure.) So that’s been an interesting discovery of my own; thank you for that! 💙 I hope I answered your questions satisfactorily! 🥰

---

I am once again asking for you to ask me Fanfic directors cut questions! I will beg! It’s not beyond me! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Terrific Love Interests [2/5]

+Why both romantic routes are not only amazing but better than other games I’ve personally played in the past.

+Why some people are idiots and get off on picking stupid fights.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Romantic Option #2: Warren Graham

Uhm.... Warren’s a person in this story, too.

He, uh, he’s really nerdy. He does some science shit. He has a huge crush on Max which is made very obvious by the everything about him. Uh..... he took a fist to the face and got a black eye because he was helping Max, uhm.... he took a picture that was pretty important to the plot... um....

I literally can’t remember anything else about him.

I couldn’t even remember his last name. I had to look up his wiki to remember anything about him.

That’s how forgettable he is.

Hell, fans of the game took his character and made him more interesting in fanart and fanfics than he ever was in the game! I remember more about THAT version of him than I do about the him in the canon of the game!

I gave you that whole bit about Chloe from memory. That’s how much more fleshed out and important she is within the game than Warren is. Everything I’m about to talk about here if from reading his wiki and remembering things that way.

We meet Warren and find out that he’s into nerdy shit like Max. He’s also obviously into her and does a shit job at hiding that fact, but then Nathan comes over and beats the shit out of him because plot.

When I first played, it was pretty obvious that Warren would be romanceable, and truth be told, I liked Warren. He was fine! He’s dorky and weird, but I thought he and Max could potentially be a cute couple, and so does the rest of the school since you can’t talk to any of the girls without them implying that Warren likes Max.

I kept waiting for Warren to be important, but it never really came! I mean, you could talk to him and help him with a science experiment [in which he fucking blows up] and you text him a lot. Oh, and you can go to a Planet of the Apes marathon with him which you never actually get to go to, but the game constantly reminds you that you’re going because Warren won’t shut up about it.

Let’s see, he also sends you instructions on how to build a bomb so that you can break into the principal’s office, and then he beats Nathan up, and then he shows up and takes a picture of him and Max that ends up being important in the final episode and then.... he doesn’t do much else.

Well, okay, he does talk about Max’s powers a little bit in ep5 and you can give him a smooch or hug him or disregard him completely.

And that’s about it.

........Wait a minute.

A boy with boyband hair who has extensive chemistry knowledge, knows how to make bombs, uses said bombs for pranks, gets fucked up by one of the antagonists AND was a throwaway character that the writers threw in there to further the plot along but doesn’t really do much so the fandom took him and made him better than the game ever gave him credit for...?

.....Welp, that’s a whole thing that I’m not gonna get into. One post at a time, folks.

ANYWAY

Back on topic, Warren’s a romanceable character, apparently. You can agree to go on a date with him and smooch him. You can tell people you think he’s cute. It’s fine.  

With all that about these two choices in mind, compare Warren to Chloe.

There is no comparison because Warren’s “romance route” is... is nothing! It’s a whole lot of little things that don’t amount to much! With Chloe, Max has all this chemistry and you spend 90% of the game with her! You forget that Warren exists until you get another text from him or another character brings him up!

You know what Warren feels like? He feels like a character that the writers threw in because they were worried that players wouldn’t want a tragic wlw love story between two best friends, who reconnect and fall in love over the course of five episodes.

Which, fair, because people are idiots.

Could they have made Warren more important? Sure, but like with Skybound and Telltale, they didn’t have an unlimited budget to pack everything they wanted into the game to make it better, and that’s not just limited to the relationships, that’s clear in the endings we got. And I’m sure that some Warren stans will read this and retaliate and tell me that he’s just as important than Chloe, I just don’t understand because I’m a shithead.

And maybe that’s true, but look me in the eye and tell me that if you took Warren out of the game, it would have drastically changed the story beyond repair.

Now, what does all this mean?

Compare Chloe and Warren to Louis and Violet as far as love interests go and how they were handled.

In TWDG, Louis and Violet are fairly even.

In LIS, Chloe and Warren aren’t even in the same universe. It doesn’t matter if you like Warren more, or if you like Chloe more, Chloe got more time and effort put into her story and romance than Warren did.

Think of it like this: Chloe is at a 90% and Warren 10%.  Louis is at 48% and Violet’s at 52%, and that’s depending on how you look at it.

If TWDG did the routes like this, then Violet would’ve been way more important, would’ve have ten times as many scenes with Clementine, and if you took her out of the story, the whole thing falls apart because she’d be 90% of the plot, while Louis over here would’ve been used as background noise and plot convenience once or twice. Sure, we would’ve gotten to know him a little bit, but not nearly anything substantial and not nearly as much in comparison.

That’s what we could’ve had, okay? The writers could’ve given us a single love interest and said: “We want you to pick this person... but we’ll also throw in this other person just in case y’all are homophobic/racist/fucking stupid/whatever.”

In conclusion: We were blessed with Louis and Violet who each got an arc and love story, both of which are fairly even. 

Have I made my point yet? No? You need more examples? Fine. I’ll give you another alternative to what we could’ve had, or rather, what we could’ve missed out on.

[Note: I want to add that I haven’t played Life is Strange 2, but I know that its playable character is also bisexual and can choose between a boy and a girl to romance, but I can’t comment on how well it did because I’ve yet to play it.]

[persona 4 and the relationships you can’t have]

This one time I tried to romance my partner but he was too busy trying to convince everyone that he’s straight to even notice.

Persona 4 is a game that came out in 2008, then re-released with new content in 2012 under the name Persona 4: Golden. The game follows your nameable protagonist who has just moved in with their uncle and cousin. During his year-long stay, he becomes involved in investigating mysterious murders while harnessing the power of summoning Persona. 

Great game, one that took over my life for about a year. Great characters, great voice acting, great story, great antagonists, and great romance and romanceable characters. 

While the romance is more of a side thing depending on if you decide to take that route with one of your social links, it’s still nice to have special moments with them to break away from all the TV murder and whatnot. 

And you have several great options to choose from! You’ve got Chie, Yukiko, Rise, Naoto, and then you’ve got several other girls around the school that you can start a thing with, but they’re not as important as those core four. 

Each of the girls has an incredibly well-written story and share a deep bond with you, the protagonist. So, the reason I’m putting this example here is that the choice between all these great girls is super hard, right? 

Wrong. 

Because when I played the damn game, I didn’t romance any of them. Not because I didn’t like them or because I didn’t want my character to have a romance, but because the asshole I WANTED to romance wasn’t an option. 

Because I’m not allowed to romance the dudes. 

And that includes this dude. 

Yosuke Hanamura

Remember that pin I mentioned about how great it is that Clementine’s bi because not only does it give us well-deserved representation but also allows the player to romance both girls and boys? 

The Protagonist of Persona 4 is not bisexual. 

I can only romance the girls because he is straight. 

But not really, because MY Protagonist pursued and sought after Yosuke despite the fact that the game would not let me romance him. Which is bullshit, because he clearly feels the same way, and no, that’s not my crazy brain making shit up. 

My entire playthrough was pretty much 

I won’t get into it because Persona is a long game and a complicated one to even try and explain to someone who hasn’t played it so that’s another rant for another day, but know this: 

Yosuke was the perfect opportunity to tell the story of a boy dealing with internal homophobia, falling in love with his best friend [PARTNER] after the girl he cared about died horrifically and faced his shadow learned to accept himself and his insecurities. The potential here was wasted. 

There are a shit ton more layers to that, but on the barest of bare-bones, that’s what I wanted. 

Hell, according to a bunch of people, Yosuke was going to be a romantic option, but they scrapped it! Insult to injury, I’ll say!

Comparing this to TWDG, you could argue that Clementine only gets to romance Louis and Violet, but some wanted to romance Mitch, Aasim, Brody, ect. 

Fair enough, but what I’m saying is this:

It sucked that I couldn’t romance the person I wanted to when I played Persona, and it still sucks every time I play a game and my person of desire is unattainable. This isn’t just Persona, that’s just the first game that comes to mind when I think about characters I always wanted a romance, but that includes all the other missed opportunities from other games, as well.

The Final Season is different. 

The writers of TFS could’ve said, “Oh you want to romance Louis/Violet? Oh no, sorry, we were gonna do it but we changed our minds! But, don’t worry, we’ll leave hint after hint that they have feelings for you but you can’t actively pursue them. Allow us to tease you with the wonderful romance that could’ve been! Midnight piano lessons! Conversations under the stars! Lots of smooches! You’ll never see it in canon!”

Or, they could’ve only given us one of them, but that’s the topic of the next game. 

In conclusion: They didn’t have to give us Louis and Violet or make them romanceable. If you want Clementine to have a relationship with them, you have the option to do that, which is something you can’t say with other games.

Continued in Part 3

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Chisaki Kai with a Fem!S/O who needs comfort

Trigger Warning: Mentions of past abuse

So, not many blogs write about darker themes and I know there are many people who need comfort and help, advice, someone to talk to, so... Yeah, I write comfort stuff for people who need help, who experienced any kind of past abuse, especially since I had my fair share of bad stuff happening.

Take care of yourself and always know that your own happiness is the most important thing in your life!! <3

I know Chisaki isn’t the most romantic/sensitive persona and in canon I’m not sure he’d actually CARE much about anyone, but just like he cares about Hari, I think that there are ways to get to him, to see his softer side, as long as you’re not someone that he needs to use to reach his goal (ex: Eri’s innocence and purity never got to him because he needed to use her, so he never thought of her more than an object to use as he pleases)

“Y/N, dear, today you’re going to be meeting Chisaki-san very soon, so get dressed in something appropriate and elegant, then come in the living room so we can greet him properly, understood?” my mother said sternly, looking at me with a cold stare. “Yes, mother.” I reply in a meek voice, hurrying to my room.

There, I make my hair slightly wave-y, put a thin, black headband, to go with my fire red hair, a white victorian shirt tucked in a long, black skirt that went just a bit above my ankles, put on skin-coloured stockings, black flats, and a soft jewelry set of bronze earrings, necklace and a ring, all sporting a gorgeous forest-green emerald, to highlight my eyes.

I quickly apply natural coloured make up, so I would have some colour and a slight blush to my face, added some white crayon on my lower lid to give the impression of big, innocent, obedient eyes, then went to the living room, where I got the seal of approval from my mother, who sat next to my father, on the sofa, both looking extremely strict and straight, whereas I had to stand up until this Chisaki man arrived, so I could be introduced to him, then I could fetch wine and other stuff that an obedient wife should do.

To be fair, I don’t really know strictly what I should do, but they’ll just tell me anyways, so it will be fine.

The clock struck 8 P.M. and the next second, the butler opened the door, revealing a tall man, with a lean body, dressed in a white suit, white gloves and a black mask, his eyes gleaming like gold in the Sun, incredibly intimidating, as if he could set the whole manor on fire with the flick of him hand, and he was welcomed to sit on the sofa opposite of my parents.

Before that, he shook my father’s hand, bowed to my mother, “kissing” her hand, then as he got in front of me, I did a low courtesy, telling him my name in a voice barely above a whisper, then he bowed in front of me, properly introducing himself to me, then kissed my hand, through the mask, just like he did with my mother, but not before stealing a longer look at me, his vibrant amber eyes looking directly into my innocent emerald ones, making me feel as if I was under a microscope, observed and analysed, like a hunter stalking its prey.

On the other hand, as I looked into his eyes, it seemed like everything around me was black and white, a complete lifeless blur, the only thing alive being his radiant golden eyes, that were, on the surface, unreadable, and yet, somehow gave off a menacing vibe, perfectly fitting for the Yakuza leader.

“It is my pleasure to finally meet you, Miss L/N. I have heard many wonderful words about you, yet nothing compares to seeing you in real life.” he said in a very alluring voice, yet his words seemed as empty as any broken cup.

“You’re too kind, Mr. Chisaki. I appreciate your word. You, as well, are exceeding any expectations existent.” I replied, looking down, an unfortunate habit I have developed over the years.

After the formalities, I poured wine in their cups and then I was told to wait outside, since I shouldn’t know of such affairs, and they only called me later to say goodbye, and found out I will be moving in completely at Chisaki’s base over this week.

Goodbye world as we know it.

I settled in my room, seeing that it was a huge dormitory with bathroom inside, everything extremely comfortable, and more, a side-room only for clothes, put my laptop on the bed and took out the few clothes I got with me.

As part of the deal, my parents promised to fill my card every week with quite a huge sum of money, so I can accommodate in this new place...Which means I can finally buy things I want, wear what I want...And kinda do what I want, to a certain degree.

NEAT!

In the evening, a knock on the door took me out of my thoughts and as I opened it, a bored looking Kurono was there, telling me that dinner was ready, and if I wanted to eat with him and Chisaki, since he was a bit free, or eat in my room.

Since I was going to live here forever, I thought it would be nice to get to know these guys better, especially my soon-to-be-husband, that is. I had a few huge worries in plastered in my head, all of them thrown at me by my own mother, that is, but I tried to pay them no mind.

“Oh, uh...Should I dress in anything more appropriate or something? I don’t want to offend anyone or-” I said, not realising I was rambling out of worry, until Hari put a hand on my shoulder. “Just like this is fine. There are no rules here of how to dress or anything, so anything works just fine.” he said in an emotionless tone, a bit surprised by my worries. “Really? Like...All kinds of outfits are okay here? Even those outfits teenagers wore outside when we passed by?” I asked a little too excited, not realising my eyes were wide in shock. “Uhm...Yeah, that’s okay. As long as it’s nothing indecent, anything works. Now, follow me.” he motioned for me to follow to the supposed living-room. “Then, if I am to order some things from the internet, where should I put the address? It obviously can’t come here, so...Where else?” I asked curiously. “There’s this place where we go every week where I think would work. I can just pick the package up or have someone send it here any time, if you want.” he replied, opening the door for me. “But since the card is on my name, would they allow someone else other than me to take it? I don’t really have much to do, so I can go take it myself so I won’t bother you! Just...I need some directions, since I’m pretty directionally challenged...” I chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck. “I’ll take you there when the time comes. I will write the address on a piece of paper so you know what to write.” he mumbled, pulling out the chair for me to sit down at the small table. I thank him timidly, not really being used to that happening to me, then just as he too sits down, Chisaki enters the room, dressed in white vans, black jeans, a black shirt and a white loose tie, having the same white gloves, and weirdly enough, a beak shaped mask. Just as i was indoctrinated at home, I jolt to my feet and bow to him, greeting him formally, only to feel his hand on my head.

“Raise your head, Y/N. You are supposed to be my fiance, not my maid, so there is no need to act like one.” he said in a stern voice, making me sit back down. “O-Oh, haha, of course, I apologise. I’ve been told that’s the thing a proper wife should do, sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything.” I smiled awkwardly, biting my lip. “I see. I will keep that in mind. What I can say is that there is no need for any unneeded formality.” he replied, taking off his mask before he started to eat.

Nodding and humming in understanding, I start eating as well, slowly, trying to not to make any noise while at it, and when I finished, I waited until I got the permission to be excused from the table so I could start ordering stuff online. Kurono didn’t realise at first why I was shifting a bit in my seat, but Chisaki easily realised and told me I’m dismissed and that I shouldn’t wait for him to tell me what to do, since I have a mind of my own and I should use it accordingly.

Perhaps I should try and stop being so closed off, listening more to my intuition, rather than to my parents’ communistic indoctrination. So... Let’s buy cute, pastel clothes! Pastel pink, pastel purple, pastel blue! Lots of cute accessories! Goodness gracious, these are all just so cute!

I wonder if Chisaki will like these? Nah, probably not, he doesn’t seem like a person to care about these things. I am, after all, just a part of the deal he made with my parents. He marries me, and with that, a part of my parents’ business, since I will inherit it after they die.

Too bad that Chisaki doesn’t know some of these dark secrets behind this deal...

I dressed in a super cute pastel purple, fixed my light purple wig then went out of the room, ready to go out to the local Starbucks and enjoy a nice chocolate frappe with weird but fun name, then update my social media with cute pics. Three months passed since I came to be Chisaki Kai’s fiancee and truth be told, it was the most liberating thing I’ve ever experienced. It was weird, but I felt free like never before.

When I was with my parents, going out of the house was a strict no-no, unless it was some charity ball I was made to attend, so other rich people who had sons could see me...All for business deals, of course. But now, except for the fact that he’s always very busy, he has his own room, so my own dorm is my private space where nobody goes and I’m allowed to breath without anyone looking past my shoulder.

Plus, I can dress in whatever way I want and play video games! I am even allowed to fool around on social media, as long as I’m careful not to get caught or affiliated with the Underground, so it’s perfect!

After I finished my stroll around the park, I go back to the base, stopping by Chisaki’s office, to see how he is. As usual, of course, he was busy with paperwork.

“Sorry to disturb you. I got you a chocolate frappe from Starbucks.  I uh...Didn’t know if you liked it, but it’s sweet so I thought you might want try, maybe?” I asked shyly, showing him the Venti cup I had. “I’m not a fan of sweets. You can drink it, if you like.” he responded, not even looking up from his papers. “Uhm...Can I...Can I help you in any way? You’re always so busy and stressed...Uhm...A massage? Or...Any simpler task that I could do in your stead? I don’t really know if you’re sleeping and eating well, so I’m just checking...S-Sorry if I’m annoying.” I trailed off, looking away, which is when he raised his head and turned in his seat to look at me properly. “Come here, Y/N.” he ordered, motioning for me to approach him.

I slowly and unsurely made my way in front of him, between his legs, then he took the cup away, putting it on the table’s corner, so it wouldn’t accidentally ruin his papers, then took a hold of both my hands and looked up at me, his eyes boring into mine as if looking an answer.

“Show me your Quirk, Y/N. I haven’t asked before and your parents avoided this question like the plague.” he demanded in a dull yet strict voice. “W-Well...My Quirk is extremely boring and useless, so I can get why they never mentioned it. To them, I’m as good as Quirkless, which is a huge family disappointment, like my whole existence, that is, but...I mean, if you want to see...” I sighed, putting my hands under his, raising them so he could see well enough how a small, pink flower starts growing from his hands, looking gorgeous, frail and innocent. “Your Quirk is making flowers?” he asked, an eyebrow raised, seeming almost interested. “Yeah...Nothing important or interesting in any way, I’m sorry for disappointing you. I guess Quirks really define the person, in some way. I’m pathetic enough as it is.” I shrugged, letting my arms fall to my sides, looking away. “Don’t say that. Quirks are filthy, and everyone now is sick. They all need to be purged and cured. This, however...Is purity and I won’t hear otherwise from you or anyone else, understand.” he replied, holding me by the elbows. “U-Uhm...Okay, then...” I nodded reluctantly, not really knowing how to react. “In two days there is going to be a fake charity ball hosted by your parents and we are invited. Make sure you dress appropriately, since we will be attending.” he said nonchalantly, and I could feel all the blood on my face drain, my mind going dizzy a bit. “M-My parents, you say...O-Okay, I’ll do my best then...! I won’t disappoint you!” I tried to say excitedly, to hide me trembling form before leaving the room in a rush, back to my dorm, collapsing on my bed since my legs gave out.

My parents had a clear purpose for this, and it won’t really end well... Not for me, at least.

I  dressed in a simple but elegant long dark green dress, with a new set of jewelry gifted by Chisaki specially for this event, my arranged to fall down my bare shoulders in elegant fire waves, and my make up was nothing drastic, but the seductive cat eye was highlighted with the perfect help of the black eyeliner, whilst he wore a dark suit with a dark green tie, so we would match.

It’s needless to say that I was hyperventilating quite a bit, but I tried to hide it some way, my red lipstick making the contrast with my with teeth create a dazzling smile, so nobody saw my insecurities, especially not while I was still clinging to Chisaki’s arm.

We mostly stayed at the bar since directly, we didn’t have anything to do with this event, except for the sake of my parents, we had to attend, and we enjoyed drinks. Well, more or less he made fun of me for almost spitting white wine, since I found it incredibly disgusting, so sulking, I stuck to water, pouting.

Not long after, my parents approached us, so we got off the bar stools and greeted them formally.

“Y/N, dear, and Chisaki-san, how are you enjoying the party?” my mother asked, a wide and extremely fake smile on her face. “It’s very nice, thank you for inviting us, Mrs. L/N, it was very kind of you.” Chisaki said in a very formal tone. “Oh, no problem, we just missed our sweet baby Y/N! Ah, speaking of babies, what’s with this tummy? Oh, don’t tell me! Oh, it’s about time yo-” she looked so excited, thinking I was pregnant, but I started panicking really bad and put my hands on her shoulders to stop her thinking. “I’m not pregnant, Jesus, we’ve only been together for 3 months! Don’t speak like that, who knows who’ll hear?!” I stuttered, not really knowing what to say, since I felt like I was being beaten up with bricks. “Ahh...That’s a shame! I guess you just got a bit fat...But next time I see you, there better be a child in that belly of yours, young lady! It’s tradition, after all! Us, L/Ns, must carry the bloodline through generations! So of course, unless it’s a boy, you must not stop, you need an heir!” my mother commented, obviously disappointed. “B-But...I...W-Well...” I could feel my mind going completely blank with worry and my heart was about to get out of my chest. My lungs were burning and sweat was dripping from my forehead. Clear signs of a panick attack, and I felt like almost fainting. “Oh, darling, that’s no way to speak in front of Mr.Chisaki! He knows what’s the best course of action for his business, no need for you to talk for anyone! Come on now, you bothered them enough, let them enjoy the party, they are young, free and wild! Oh, before I go, I saw David around, don’t forget to say hi to him, like the good girl you are!” my father winked at us, then took my mother away, leaving the two of us in an uncomfortable silence. “What was that about, Y/N?” he asked, clearly irked by the conversation. “Pardon me, I have to go vomit...” I whispered before running to the restroom and barfing into the bathroom, crying as emotions and anxiety took over my very being.

I knew that was going to happen, why did I expect anything else? Now that I’m caught in between two evils, I will have to tell Chisaki about the business problems, and I can just see how incredibly bad that’s going to end. After a good 10 minutes I finally got up, my legs still trembling, then went to wash my face with ice cold water before re-applying my make up, grateful for the fact that I was inspired enough to bring the basic make up stuff in my purse. When I got out of the bathroom, Chisaki was leaning on the wall, waiting.

“Hi...Sorry for waiting so long.” I muttered, looking away, embarrassed. “What happened?” he asked in a passive voice. “Just...Had a panic attack.” I replied, not daring to look at him. “Your mother’s words triggered it. Why?” he interrogated me, wanting to find out what was going on. “Can we...Go home, please? I...I had to tell you, sooner or later, but...I was a bit afraid...I guess...It’s not very nice...” I mumbled, shifting in my place uncomfortably. “Very well. Let’s go.” he nodded, offering me his arm to take, like all couples do in this fancy place.

The huge problem was that on our way out of the ballroom, the person I dreaded the most appeared in front of me, a charming smirk on his face, as he looked down on me.

“Aww, if it isn’t cute little Y/N! My, you turned into quite the seductive vixen, don’t you think? I guess you grew up quite a lot since then.” he winked, which made me flinch and step behind Chisaki a bit, gripping his arm tighter. “I don’t know you, leave me alone, I have to go home, bye.” I said, my voice breaking as I tried to make Chisaki move, but he didn’t budge an inch. “Well, I have to go back soon too, my whore is waiting for me at home. I see you found yourself another hunk, hm? Is he any good? Clearly, not like me, but-” he started to trail, but by this point my grip on Chisaki’s arm was so tight that I may leave bruises on his skin. “CAN’T YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR WAY, YOU PARASITE?! SCATTER OFF BEFORE I STEP ON YOU AND SQUISH YOU LIKE THE USELESS VERMIN YOU ARE!” I screamed at him, already at my limit, wanting to get the hell out of there before I have another breakdown. “So ungraceful...Well, I guess it’s no wonder why they so desperately wanted to get rid of you. But, remember, Y/N...All men are the same. You can refuse them all you want, but it wont be long before they take action.” with an evil smirk, he left the place, not before fixing Chisaki with his eyes, condescendingly. “We have a lot to talk about when we go home, Y/N.” he muttered, leading the way to the car. “Give me a break...I need to sleep 24 hours...And hopefully get into a coma and never wake up” I said the last part, hoping he won’t hear.

That night, he was patient enough to let me sleep and recover from the hectic night...But I knew that the next evening, hell will break loose.

I dressed up in a pair jeans, a green plaid shirt with rolled sleeves and black combat boots and went to eat outside, enjoying a nice pizza as comfort food, then went to walk around the city, listening to music, trying to gather my thoughts and words in some way so I won’t stutter in front of Chisaki...Too much.

I didn’t even realise evening came until the lamp posts started lighting up, so I sighed and made my way back to the base, only to be greeted not by my sort-of friend, Hari, but by Shin Nemoto.

“You are the worst thing that happened to Shie Hassaikai! Master Chisaki was wrong to make a deal with your kin!” he said, angrily, pointing at me accusingly. “Well...That’s not wrong, I know that. What’s it to you? I can’t change the fact that I’m a disappointment.” I shrugged, not caring much about what was happening. “I will tell master Chisaki what you’re hiding! Do you hold any important secrets?” he asked, looking into my eyes. “Yes, 3, quite important ones...Wait, why did I say that?!” I gasped, slapping my hands over my mouth. “That’s my Quirk, idiot girl! Now, what are your secrets!” he demanded, making me widen my eyes in fear, trying to force myself not to speak, but words just came out of my mouth. “My parents stopped sending me money in over 3 weeks, saying their deal is over for now.” I said in a strong voice, so uncharacteristic of me, but I could feel my eyes watering. “Why didn’t you mention that to anyone? Not even to Kurono or Chisaki?” he inquired, a sadistic look on his face. “Because they said they won’t send any more money if I don’t produce an heir...G-Gods...Y-You...Monsters...” I sobbed, tears streaming down my face. “Does Master Chisaki know of that?” he asked, shocked. “I-I don’t know the deal they made...But I overheard my parents saying that the second I’ll have a male baby, an heir, they’ll make him the heir of the company and steal him from us, just so they won’t have to pass on their legacy to us, but to the kid...Why are you doing this to me?! I was going to tell Chisaki these things just now, why do you have to interfere?! Who do you think you are?!” I asked, my voice broke so badly that it sounded like a whine. “Shin? What are you doing to her?! Chisaki’s not going to like this!” Hari’s voice, usually dull, sounded alarmed now as he got in front of me, trying to calm my sobs down. “She’s a traitor, Chronostasis! She just confessed her sins! She’s been plotting with her parents!” he yelled, accusingly. “I WASN’T! I hate them! They abused me all my childhood! This deal was what got me out of that hell, and I’d never do anything to betray Chisaki! I don’t want to go back there! I’d rather die and burn in hell forever than go back there!” I screamed at him, falling on the ground, sobbing. “So pathetic...Pathetic, that’s the only word to describe someone like you! You are not worthy of staying in Master Chisaki’s company!” he said in a low, threatening voice. “That’s enough, Shin! If Chisaki gets here, he’s going to be pissed off!” he warned, getting in front of me, protectively. “What’s all this mess here? I don’t appreciate this chaos.” a low voice that sent chills through everyone’s spines echoed throughout the base. “M-Master Chisaki, I was interrogated the traitor! She spilled all her secrets shamelessly!” he said, proudly of his achievements. “The way I see this, you used your Quirk on her to make her confess. Is that correct, Nemoto?” he asked, in a passive-aggressive tone. “I had to! She wouldn’t answer my answers! She was going to betray you, Master!” he tried to defend himself, but that only made Chisaki angry enough to use his Quirk to kill him, then bring him back to life. “Never. Lie. To me. Again. Or else you’re not going to get lucky enough to see the light of life again, got it? Now leave.” he ordered Shin, who was shaking. “Now, you two. What the hell is going on here?” he asked, trying to cool off. “I...Don’t really know, to be fair. I just got here and saw Nemoto being aggressive with her.” he sighed, annoyed at getting caught in the middle. “I see. Then leave, I need to speak to my wife.” he said, nodding at his childhood friend, who only nodded at us, taking his leave. “Get to your room, I will be there shortly.” he said, looking down at me, which made me scurry my way to my room, trying to calm down, washing my face in the bathroom. When I got out, Chisaki was sitting on the bed, looking straight at me, his eyes boring into mine as if he was trying to detect any lie or deception.

“Sit.” he motioned for me to take a seat next to him, which made me gulp and shift in my place. He hasn’t been in my room before. “Don’t make me say it twice.” his voice getting sterner, which just made me sigh and sit down, trying to calm down my fidgeting with my fingers. “You’ve never been this nervous while around me. Why is that?” he asked, wanting to see the explanation. “Uhm...No man has been in my room before...Not here, not like that, at least.” I tried to explain, hoping it was relevant in some way. “Are you afraid of men, Y/N?” he asked, his gaze not leaving my face. “Mhm...Men...Nice people too...They’re fake, all of them, just pretending to be nice before they use or backstab you. Nice people can’t be trusted.” I mutter, scratching my hand, out of habit. “I see...Tell me what you wanted to confess.” he said, his voice calmer than before. “First of all...Will you...S-Sorry...Uhmm...C-Could you please tell me what the deal was? I have to know how they lied you, so I can tell you the truth...” I replied, intertwining my fingers together. “They said something about making sure I have an heir to inherit my position in the future, so they could support him as well.” he mentioned, making me bite me lip. “What did you...Think about th-that?” I asked, barely audible. “I have no time for such disgusting things, and especially not for little parasites. Why would I even want an heir? Everything I do is for myself, for the Yakuza.” he explained, his voice getting slightly patronising. “S-So...Y-You...Don’t want an heir? Or...Y-You know...Th-That thing everyone talk about.” I stammer over my words, already feeling faint. “I’m not going to have sex, no, so if that’s what you were thinking about-” he started saying, as if he was denying me something, but my face was already washed with relief, tears falling on my cheeks again, before I put my hands on my face. “Thank goodness...I’ve been agonising over this since I came here...I was so scared about this...I was expecting everday something like that to happen...Because...Because that’s what’s been put into my head...That it’s the most important thing and that men can’t control themselves...And then...That thing with David...” I trailed, not even realising if I was making any point, until Chisaki rose an eyebrow. “That guy at the ballroom? The one you snapped at?” he inquired, curious. “Y-Yeah...He...He was the first person I was the fiancee of, y’know...My parents wanted to get rid of me so I can get them a male heir, adopt it, then leave all their fortune to him. That was the truth of the deal. That’s why my mother was so happy when she thought I was pregnant...Surprise, I’m just fat, haha...They lied to you...Just like how they lie to everyone around them.” I sighed, slicking my hair back, not daring to look at Chisaki, who I was sure was burning with rage by now. “So they lied. Very well. I suppose nobody told them not to go against the Yakuza. They will pay for it.” he said, a cold anger evident in his voice. “C-Can I watch too...? I really...Really want revenge too...I...Don’t want to go through that again...Will you please take me with you when you kill them...?” I asked, looking at him for the first time. “Fine. Is that guy in it too?” he asked, obviously already preparing his plans. “U-Uhm...Sort of...He uhm...My mother told him the same...And...W-Well...He was m-more than eager to...Uhm...Get more money, let’s say...Very...Eager...Until he realised he was infertile and my parents made him break the deal...Thankfully...” I confessed the one thing I never thought I’d have the courage to tell anyone, to the one person who seemed most unlikely to care, who so happened to be my husband-to-be as well. “Men with no honour or principals...That’s where this world has come to. Very well. Death is mercy for those like him, I have something far greater prepared for him. And you are going to watch.” he demanded, getting to his feet, ready to leave the room. “W-Wait! Chisaki! Uhm...Thank you...For listening! You...You saved me...And I owe you my life and freedom...So, I didn’t want you to get wronged in this deal. If you decide that I’m no longer useful to you and you want to kill me, it’s fine. But...Thank you.” I told him, as I got to my feet and grasped his hand in both of mine, looking up at him, with a small smile. “I’m not going to kill you. It would be pointless and it would go against the Yakuza Code.” he said, looking down at me, weirdly. “Can I...Can I hug you...Please?” I whispered, biting my lip, and surprisingly, I got an affirmative answer, which made me easily throw my arms around his torso, holding him tightly, his hearbeat soothing my senses. “You’re...Welcome.” was his response, faint, barely audible, but existent.

The most shocking thing he’s ever done in his life, probably a huge shock for him as well, was that he took off his mask, but his arms around me as well, then kissed the top of my head, and stayed there, in silence, letting me hold him until I got tired of it.

Chisaki Kai, the leader of the Yakuza, my husband.

He isn’t the most romantic, or sensitive person in the world.

Hell, he barely even care about anything in this world, except for his goals. But...I never imagined that even he could have a heart, enough to let me into it, and protect me the way he did.

From my parents, from my past, from my abuse, from my memories. He created a new place, a new home, with new memories and new dreams, as weird or evil as they are, but they’re still much better than what I had before.

I was finally free from the burning shackles that kept me chained in the dark void of bad memories and trauma.

He saved me.

[cherylblsom]

A Phoenix & Her Fire

masterlist

(A/N): Hey hey guess who’s back with another fic ;) its sadder this time im sorry aah. Part two is currently in the works so dont worry i wont leave you hanging! Hopefully that’ll be up later this week :)

Pairing: Cheryl Blossom x Toni Topaz

Word Count: 2,176

Warnings: TW; canon suicide attempt, swearing, emotional??

Summary: Cheryl aches to be reunited with JayJay which winds her in the emergency room. ((The attempt takes place later than it does in the show & Cheryl and Toni are already dating at this point))

Read it on AO3

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Cheryl’s fist hits the ice again causing a slight crack but not enough to break it. She lets out a huff of anger and tries once more, determined to break through and plunge into the icy depths of Sweetwater River. Tears stream down her face and freeze to her cheeks in the cold weather. Every inch of her feels numb and frozen but she’s determined to be reunited with JayJay. Her knuckles are starting to bleed as she hits the frozen river again creating another satisfying crack. She hears a faint noise in the distance almost like her name being called, a sob shakes her body as she tries to push away the illusion. It’s not as if anyone would come to save her. But she hears it again and reluctantly lifts her head, a wave of panic hits her when she sees Veronica standing at the edge of the river with Betty, Jughead and Archie behind her.

“Cheryl.” Veronica calls again “just come to the shore and we’ll figure this out together okay? Please”

Cheryl pauses for a second, she knows Veronica cares about her after all that’s why Cheryl texted her goodbye. But the others haven’t shown an inch of caring about her ever and she’s fairly certain Veronica Lodge of all people isn’t going to miss her one bit. Cheryl chokes out another sob as she’s hit with a wave of pain at the thought of Toni, her girl. She lurches forward gulping for air and trying to push her sobs away, her hand smacks the ice hard and she wishes for once things could make sense. The ice unexpectedly caves in under her and she lets out a strained scream as she drops into the icy water below. Her lungs fill with water instantly and for a second it almost feels nice to lose control. Her eyes fly open and maybe it’s just a hallucination but Jason’s body is suddenly reaching out to her. Cheryl’s arms and legs flail in attempt to move away from him which only pushes her further into the current.

Archie is pushing past Veronica and running across the ice the second Cheryl’s body drops into the water. Veronica panics and follows right on his heels, when she reaches Archie he’s frantically sweeping away snow attempting to find where Cheryl is now. He swears and keeps moving around desperate to save the redhead.

“Archie. Here” Veronica yells panicked and within seconds he’s kneeling down smashing the ice above Cheryl and pulling her up. His fist is bleeding heavily but he lifts the soaking Vixen in his arms and stumbles back to the shore. Archie lays Cheryl down and desperately attempts to get her to cough up the water she’s inhaled. Veronica swears while struggling to dial 911 with her frozen fingers which causes Betty to rush to her side and help.

When the group stumbles into the ER in a panic the nurses waste no time in rushing Cheryl to the back. There’s chaos and yelling all over and Veronica stumbles over to a chair trying to take deep breaths. “Someone- someone needs-“ she tries to force out.

“Shh breathe, what is it V?” Betty asks, walking over and soothingly rubbing circles into her best friend’s shoulder.

Veronica lets out another shaky breath “call Toni, she- she needs to be here”

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Jughead curses while fishing in his pocket for his phone. “Why didn’t we immediately think of that oh god. I’m on it guys” he punches in her contact and lifts his phone to his ear. The phone rings three agonizingly long times before she picks up.

“Jones!! You know I’m on shift right? To what do I owe the pleasure?” her voice cheerfully answers.

Jughead swallows the lump in his throat and says slowly “don’t freak out. But we’re at the hospital and you need to get here right away.”

Toni’s heart race increases as her eyes roam the Whyte Wyrm trying to figure out if any of her serpent family is missing. And then it hits her. “Oh god. Fuck. Tell me it isn’t Cheryl. It’s not her right?” She says frantically, already reaching for her bag and motorcycle keys. Jughead is silent on the other end. “JONES. What the fuck? It’s not her right? Fangs was just messing around again and and...” she trails off as she spots Fangs near the bar, her breathing starts to get harsher.

“Toni... I’m sorry.” He chokes out “just hurry okay? She’s in emergency”. Toni hangs up and throws her phone in her bag while sprinting across the parking lot to her bike.

Toni runs through the door of the ER with such force she practically knocks over the young nurse in the way but swerves around her at the last second. “What happened? Who the fuck hurt her? Who did this?”

“Toni...sit down” Veronica says gently while walking over and guiding the pink haired girl into a seat. She kneels in front and looks up at her.

“Just fucking tell me so I can go after whoever the fuck touched her” she says, she’s visibly shaking and Veronica lays a hand on her knee trying to calm her.

“She- uhm... Toni we found her at Sweetwater River, she was on the ice trying to break through...”

“I... I don’t understand”

“She was trying to drown herself... she said she wanted to be with Jason again.” Veronica says, her voice cracking mid sentence.

Toni freezes, her vision going fuzzy and her head spinning. She grips the arm of the seat and can feel herself shaking harder, she lets out a soft whimper since she’s unable to talk. Veronica stands abruptly, steadying Toni as she sways forward. “Breathe. Shhh. Betty can you get some water? Toni hey hey listen to me. Take a deep breath” she soothes.

“Did- did they say what’s going on right now?” Toni stutters over each word and then looks up at the four expectantly and reaches for the water from Betty.

“They’re trying to stabilize her” Archie says.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Toni bites back.

“Her breathing and vitals I guess” Archie breaks off, swallowing hard. “She ingested a lot of water. I tried...oh god Toni I tried to get her to cough it all up but she was unconscious almost immediately after coughing up the first bit and she was so cold. She was barley breathing when we got her here.”

Toni’s head starts to spin again and she falls back in her seat, Veronica grabs the water from her placing it down and moving closer to the serpent. Toni whimpers louder this time and soon she’s choking out sobs and pushing past Veronica to get to the trash can. Despite there being barley anything in her stomach she throws up and grips the sides so tightly her knuckles turn white. Veronica is beside her again within seconds, and despite not having a very close relationship with the raven haired girl she turns and sinks into her shoulder. Veronica rubs up and down her arm trying to soothe the serpent as her sobs shake her whole body. “I can’t lose her...” Toni mumbles through her sobs.

Veronica lays her head on top of Toni’s and hugs her a bit tighter “I know...” she replies gently. “But she’s a fighter, always has been”. Toni nods slightly in agreement and stays pressed to Veronica desperately trying to find any sort of comfort and hope she can in the situation.

“Is there an Antoinette Topaz here?” A nurse calls out, Toni lifts her head and attempts to stand up but she stumbles into the wall and steadies herself against it.

“Here, I’m here” she says, wiping at her face trying to clear the tear stains. “What is it? Can I see her?”

The nurse sighs and says “Not yet. But you’re listed as Miss Blossom’s emergency contact and we just needed to make sure you’re here. Are you a blood relative?”

“No. I’m her girlfriend actually”

“I see. Well usually we ask for a family member to-“

“Ma’am I assure you that you’re looking at her family right here. If I’m her contact why does it matter?” Toni cuts in, her eyes shooting daggers at the nurse.

“It’s just I’ve never dealt with a case that wasn’t a fami- or uhm relative. But I suppose you’re right. We will notify you when Miss Blossom is in a condition that allows visitors” she nods and walks away briskly as she jots down something on her clip board. Toni leans heavily on the wall and closes her eyes, a sigh shakily escapes her lips.

“Toni?” She hears Betty’s soft voice. “Do you maybe want to go home and change? We could grab some food too.”

“No” she snaps, the word coming out harsher than she meant. “I’m not leaving her.” Toni’s eyes flicker open, making contact with the blonde

“I.. I know you don’t want to. But Cheryl needs you to have your strength. Atleast come put on something warmer you look like you’re freezing.”

“Betty. The only one I’m worried about right now is Cheryl. I’m fine”

“Atleast let the boys go get some coffee and maybe Betty or I can run and get you a sweater” Veronica pipes in.

“C’mon Topaz, you know Cheryl will kill us all if we don’t at least try to take care of you” Jughead says, stepping closer to Toni.

Toni lets out a snort “yeah whatever Jones”

“She really loves you ya know? I don’t think I’ve seen her as happy as she is with you since before Jason died. Even then, I think you bring a light to her she’s been missing for a long time” he says, smiling softly at her.

“Yeah... I know” Toni replies as she fights back her tears “I love her too”

It seems like hours pass before any of them hear anything, Veronica is drifting off laying on Betty’s shoulder and Betty is mindlessly scrolling through her social media when the nurse walks out. She eyes Toni and strides up to her. “Miss Blossom can have visitors now. Room C-141. They’ve managed to stabilize her and get all the water out of her lungs. She should wake up soon.”

Toni is already out of her seat and hurriedly walking down the hallway, the nurse is trying to catch-up with her but gives up after a few more strides and turns back to the main desk.

Toni’s heart just about stops when she walks in and see’s Cheryl with her fiery hair splayed across the bed and a fresh cut trailing from her chin down her neck. Toni marvels at how Cheryl still somehow looks effortlessly beautiful even when hooked up to an oxygen machine. If she’s being honest with herself she expected to be angry. Angry with Cheryl for thinking she could leave this world and Toni behind, angry that Cheryl doesn’t realize her own strength but mostly angry at herself for letting Cheryl get to this point. Instead her heart shatters when she see’s Cheryl lying there with her chest softly rising and falling. She pulls up a chair and reaches for the redhead’s hand. For a moment she doesn’t know what to say, she just takes in the fact that her girl is breathing and alive.

“I’m sorry... Cher I’m so sorry. I- I should have known I should have been there. I don’t know how I’ll forgive myself for this. But I’m not leaving your side.” She says softly, fighting back yet another wave of tears and running her thumb over Cheryl’s bruised knuckles. “You know.. that first day we met at the drag race I really wasn’t sure what to think of you. I mean you strode up there acting like you owned the place and to be honest I’m not sure if my initial reaction was to kiss you or to deck you.” a sad laugh falls from her lips. “And when I showed up at Riverdale High I knew you’d either be hell to deal with or the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” she pauses and looks up at Cheryl. A small smile pulls at Toni’s lips. “But who knew I’d fall so hopelessly in love with a Northside princess?” Toni moves closer to the bed, resting her head beside Cheryl’s arm and pressing a gentle kiss to it. “God. I love you so much Blossom. So so much” Toni mumbles against her as her tears flow freely now. “Please wake up soon. Open those pretty brown eyes so I know you’re safe and sound” she presses into Cheryl’s side trying to breathe in her scent for comfort but it’s all been washed away by the river and masked by the hospital. A sob unexpectedly shakes through her body and she tries to calm herself by taking a deep breath. All she wants right now is for Cheryl to be safe and in her arms. “Please come back to me baby”

(next)

[moonlight-at-dawn]

Any recommendations for your followers things outside your main passions on Tumblr? (FFXV and Full Metal Panic!)

MOST OF MY RECS ARE SO OLD I CAN’T MAKE GRAPHICS FOR THEM AHHHHH

BUT HERE!!!

Video Games

Mana Khemia ~Alchemists of Al-Revis~

PS2/PSP

Robust NG+, Multiple Endings, Character Affection

Part of the Atelier series of games and my personal favorite of the lot

Cry with me over Cat Dad Sulphur

Atelier veterans can be amazed over PLAYABLE!!! PAMELA!!!! (and her SKILLS!!! SHE’S OP!!! AS!!! FUCK!!!)

Infinite Undiscovery

XBox360

Writers are Shouji Gatoh (Full Metal Panic!) and Ryo Mizuno (Record of Lodoss War)

NG+, an amazing postgame dungeon that can make you cry if you’re as attached to a certain character as I am

Canon romance is realized before the end, so you get to experience some of it in more than just a ~happily ever after~ way :3

Fantastic cast, lore, cutscenes, an interesting battle system that I personally love and can be challenging at times, especially during the obligatory “separated from the party” section of gameplay

I can’t count how many times it made me cry okay

Lunar Silver Star (Story/Harmony)

multiple systems, best bet today would be PSP -Harmony version

A fucking CLASSIC, every JRPG fan should experience it AT LEAST ONCE

Okay I’ve sadly never watched in Japanese but TOMOKAZU SEKI’S FIRST(?OR DAMN NEAR?) ROLE WAS AS KYLE OKAY, I LOVE HIM, HE’S MY FAV SEIYUU

Disclaimer: Some of the humor… has not…. aged well… I realize. There’s some slightly predatory-gay/predatory-trans tropes in, but not every character views those random NPCs that way at least??? Jessica doesn’t seem to mind the trans priestess at least?

Look, I’m one of those people that tends to love the mascot characters that everyone else calls annoying, and I WILL DEFEND NALL WITH MY LIFE, YOU WILL RESPECT HIM, GIVE HIM FISH, AND THANK HIM WHEN HE RESURRECTS YOU GODDAMMIT XD

(And hug Nall in Lunar 2, Ruby isn’t as useful as he was, but she’s cool too)

Maybe I’m a baby but again, I cry, multiple times lol

LOVE STORY OF THE CENTURY, ALEX AND LUNA ARE GREAT AHHHHHH

Atelier Series in general

I recommend Mana Khemia first and foremost, but most of the Atelier games have their own charms :3

They all tend to have some angst, yes, but are ultimately feel-good and 💖~

Not as scary as all the time limits for jobs might seem. The time is very generous as long as you aren’t screwing around until the last minute lmao so it is great for casual gaming~

AUTHORS/BOOKS (I have a fantasy bias lol)

Tamora Pierce

I started reading her books something like 20 years ago, and I still enjoy them to this day

I bias towards Tortall books, but the Circle of Magic is also amazing (and one of the main 4 from it is a lesbian POC blacksmith~)

My favorite set is the Beka Cooper trilogy. These ones were also a bit experimental in style, in that they’re written as diary entries aND SO!!!!!! GOOD!!! It PAID OFF BIG TIME, I WAS BLOWN AWAY

Mercedes Lackey

I’ve only indulged in her Valdemar/Velgarth novels so I can’t speak on her other series’ bUT

I seem to have a thing for when authors break out of their comfort zone lol because my favorite of these are the Mage Storms trilogy. This one is very broad, focusing not just on Valdemar, but the main character is actually a Karsite (the historical enemy of Valdemar), and the Empire also plays a big role and just, ahhhhhh, I love seeing more than just Valdemar and the Hawkbrothers and Shin’a’in ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Magic’s Price ;;o;;

Brandon Sanderson

I’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of his books lol

His Cosmere books all interlink so when you read outside of wherever in it you started, it’s really cool to see all the similarities and the few worldhopping characters that make appearances in multiple worlds

HIS WORLD BUILDING IS FUCKING IMPECCABLE OH MY GOD I COULD JUST STUDY HIS WORLD BUILDING TECHNIQUES FOR MONTHS IN FACT I HAVE BEEN

Really amazing and diverse cast of characters, social aspects of the ‘verse is almost never divorced from the characters, their experiences, and their story. It’s really amazing to see it all~

Magic systems involve clear rules for manipulation of existing forces. Things don’t happen just because ~magic~

Stormlight Archive is where I’ve started and I’d also highly recommend it just because I cannot stop loving this cast and revisiting it over and over and over I’ve listened to the audiobooks like 4 times and they’re all between, what, 38~52 hours long?

Even when you might not like a character at first, revisiting their story is just… HNNNNN NEWFOUND LOVE AND APPRECIATION

ELHOKAR, I’M TALKING MOSTLY ABOUT ELHOKAR

One of the spren in this world, the Cryptics, represent “the fundamental mathematics by which natural phenomena can be explained” tO GIVE AN IDEA OF HOW ROOTED IN REALITY THIS STUFF IS LOL SANDERSON GOES HARD HE DOESN’T FUCK AROUND WHEN HE BUILDS HIS WORLDS

Uhm…. That’s mostly it for my recommendations I think lol, I don’t really watch much in the way of TV….. (I’d recommend NCIS seasons 3-11 though - Ziva David is my reason for life but her leaving made it hard for me to continue and then the writers broke their fucking promise not to do her dirty while she wasn’t around and while it made for a beautiful story for DiNozzo’s departure, THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT)

and when it comes to my taste in anime, it’s fairly easy for me to find stuff to reblog lol… so…

WELL NO, HERE

SWORD ART ONLINE

YEAH I SAID IT

It’s “cool” to hate on it but it’s not nearly so bad as people make it out to be. People just like to spread vitriol about it because it’s popular, and you know how popular shit gets treated like the fucking devil around here. Asuna’s not some damsel in distress not even when she’s a prisoner in the ALO arc, she’s always got her own agency and is always working towards her goals and freedom and victory

And wtf is this nonsense people like to say about Kirito cheating on her?????? HE DOESN’T. HE LOVES AND RESPECTS HER AND HE DOESN’T FLIRT WITH OTHER GIRLS YOU GUYS JUST DON’T HAVE A SENSE OF FUCKING HUMOR APPARENTLY CAUSE YOU THINK JOKING = FLIRTING

Anyways, great romance, I love the iconic line from BEFORE they got together when he says the whole thing about “Wouldn’t [learning something new about the one I love] mean that I get to love them even more now?” like HE’S SUCH A FUCKING CUTIE

*coughs* Don’t let the hate that spreads around about this (or anything else really) deter you from checking it. Wipe your minds of what you hear and let it stand on its own, decide for yourself how feel. Don’t go “Oh I hear they reduce Asuna to a crybaby in s2″ and then see it that way because it’s what you expect to see. This is a THING, by the way, if you get told something is great or bad for whatever reason, you’re a lot more likely to see it that way. So just, keep that in mind, and try to empty yourself of preconceived notions before looking at it, k? K. That’s my last recommendation for this post lol cause I’ve rambled on forever.

Let things stand for themselves, not on the backs of hearsay.