#see like its good that mental health language is being used more often but not like this…

[emofrog69]

religious trauma is real it quite literally gave me OCD lmfao

[despazito]

like i have such conflicting feelings about the pathologizing of mental illness nowadays and the culture it creates. i think the need to have ones dx, at least in my case, was driven by a fundamental urge for validation that what i’m feeling isn't just a phase or something that will sort itself out. i think women especially have had our pain and struggles so minimized, i had lows wishing i just had a broken leg so others could at least see my pain. i clung to my dx and feet like waving it to the world shouting its not just in my head!! i’m not just lazy!!

in some ways getting the dx is like getting a pedigree for your fucked up brain. like this isnt some backyard bred tiktok adhd, this is PUREBRED adhd with the papers to prove it!!! all these women like myself who were looking for a voice and affirmation through dx to prove they “aren’t just one of those girls who’s too sensitive and googled their symptoms”, but now that’s also created its own trope of “overdiagnosed girl in her 20s” and there’s a whole new stereotype to mock and invalidate. there’s just no winning, it really feels like our pain will never get taken seriously by society to matter which route we take to get heard we are dismissed.

but of course these slips of paper become vital if you need any assistance or accommodations, so they are incredibly beneficial to have.

my issue is the more i reflect, the more i do feel like many emotional disturbances or brain funkiness ESPECIALLY depression and anxiety are the result of, or at least become more aggravated, by unluckiness in your childhood relationships and the narrative we created about it. turns out you don’t need to be textbook abused to have adverse experiences, and a failure to have a healthy secure relationship to your primary caregiver fucks with you for life but nobody wants to talk about that. i do think we live in a society here in canada where parental rights to parent how their want is overstepping on the child’s right to have the healthiest possible environment to be raised in. i had spent years reading about the lifelong effects of parental deprivation or bad socialization in dogs and parrots before reading about it in humans, and i think we forget how much humans are also animals.

but the thing is you can work on relationships, you can begin to process trauma. when i tell myself “i’m a person with anxiety” it feels really loaded with a sense of finality that i will always live this way.. the more i use that language the more futile it feels about ever improving, when so often depression and anxiety are the result of deeper unresolved issues. I see so many people with phobias or fears resign to living painful lives than trying to work on any exposure or processing their fears. i’d still be miserable if i never worked through my intense fears of intimacy, i was perfectly resigned to a life of being alone and thought i was content with that.

turns out growing up with trauma can cause the same unfocused and disorganized presentation as clinical adhd.i’ll admit i didn’t like learning that one, as adhd already has so many deniers my kneejerk response was anger at my adhd being invalidated. but i think a lot of adhd people fall somewhere in between that venn diagram, and rejecting a traumagenic theory for some people’s symptoms means they will be prescribed the wrong treatment plan. and this is why all treatment plans put emphasis on talk therapy just as much as pharmacological intervention.

obviously some things aren’t the result of your childhood! your mom yelling at you doesn’t cause autism, but chances are if you’re autistic and had cruddy support you’ll face more adversities and mental health struggles than a good supportive environment. similarly, you could’ve grown up with all the love and support to thrive but one day your thyroid decides it’s time to make you feel like roadkill.

idk, what i’m trying to say is don’t corner yourself or resign from living life because of your mental health dx or think that you’ll never get better because you “have” this, chances are there’s always room to feel better. the most hurtful thing is our inner voice if it’s internalized negative language, and there’s exercises you can practice to drill more positive or at least neutral nonjudgemental language into your inner critic. because even if you have something that will never be cured, the way we talk to ourselves about it is a variable we have some power over.

the narrative part experiencing trauma is uniquely human. some people will experience horrible things and internalize the negativity or self blame, but resilient people have better prognosis because they have ability to frame things in a narrative that don’t assign self blame, and critiques the behaviour instead of the self. because so many complications and struggles arise out of kicking ourselves when we’re down. but the thing is this usually can’t happen on its own, we need to see this modeled by the people around us. but thankfully if we missed the boat, we CAN retrain that voice

anyway that’s my musings from my perspective. for anyone curious here’s a lecture that really resonated with me, its got some hard hitting truths i didn’t want to hear but sometimes you gotta hear things that make you uncomfortable

[darkwood-sleddog]

This is a honest question, but what is your opinion on the class of "Pitbull" dogs? In my experience they often seem to be like Malinois with being a "loaded gun intense dog" with how some owners talk about them, yet also aren't seen as able to do anything but fight.

Do you think they'd be good with sports? Like pulling, or sledding, or agility? Also on the Malinois, what do you think of the videos of them scaling walls, or put through such intense workouts?

I like American Pit Bull Terriers and other pit bull type dogs. I think they have a pleasing shape and I love their fat heads and how easily they seem to build muscle. If you're active, and don't need a dog that can be off leash or with other dogs necessarily, not into socializing with weird dogs yourself, they can be great companions. They are successful in weight pulling and generally love pull sports (all the weight pull clubs 'near' me are run by pit bull people). Overall I think many people have worked hard to maintain the dog as an active breed while finding other ways to satisfy the dog's need to work without falling into dog fighting. Weight pull, back packing, joring, wall climb and other individual sports are great options for these dogs. Hell I also know a ton that do hog work. In this way they are a lot like malamutes (besides the hog work, but one could argue this is very similar to the way indigenous sled dogs are used for hunting/polar bear security).

Where I feel the breed falls short is when people try to "de-intensify" the way they are talked about to combat breed bans and negative stigma (think 'velvet hippo' and 'it's all how you raise them' mentality). I think white rescue people get a big high over taking pit bulls out of what they deem as negative environments when in reality this dog is owned in majority by people of color in urban places. I think that LESS people need to own pit bulls because they are NOT velvet hippos or nanny dogs, they are instead an active, dog aggressive breed. There's nothing bad about that fact, it's just the truth. Like literally think of the nastiest Jack Russel Terrier you've ever met (and i think many people have met at least one REALLY ornery small terrier dog in their lifetime) and then make it 40-60 pounds. That's what a pit bull is at its core. A big ass terrier. I think the people that talk about these dogs in a way that is HONEST about the actual nature of these dogs (intense, strong, active and dog aggressive) are doing the breed a kindness. I think shelters and rescues trying to down play these very real, very breed standard in well bred pit bull types traits in these dogs to get them adopted are putting people in real danger. I think a lot of random bred pit bull type dogs have human aggression and I think we need to be more liberal with behavioral euthanasia for those individuals.

I like pit bull people that are in the breed for what the breed ACTUALLY is and respect that while not continuing the dog fighting horrors of their past and finding other, more positive ways to honor the dogs abilities. I HATE pit bull people that see them as capable of doing nothing wrong ever ever ever. The breed has, at its core, two very different types of camps that own them and unfortunately the later is more prominent.

And regarding Malinois I don't think that there's anything wrong with putting a dog through an intense workout. Malinois are truly incredible dogs and capable of so many things. The problem comes in for me when handlers expect and desire the dog to be overly stimulated and engaged 100% of the time. That's not healthy mentally for the dog and I also don't believe a dog can perform those tasks safely when they are quivering from stimulation. From a big dog owner perspective, I do wonder about the joint health of these dogs though honestly.

And to finish off, I do think there is a difference between talking honestly about a dog breed and the "loaded gun language" I so frequently complain about. Talking honestly about a breed is about acknowledging the differences and challenges a specific breed or type of dogs may have. Not every breed is suited for every person or situation and it is important to recognize this. "Loaded Gun" language, as often used with Malinois and Pit Bull types, is bragging about a dog's lack of manageability as if that is a good thing, as if the dog needs some super human or some sort of ridiculous schedule to act composed. In reality it feels like these people are overwhelmed by the dog they have created, a dog that has never been taught to settle, and are ignorantly talking pridefully about this to convince themselves that THEY are correct and there's nothing wrong. It's not bad to do intense dog sports, or to have a dog that loves and is driven to do said sports, but a good sport dog and/or working dog should be able to compose themselves. Without this ability they are not able to truly be a dog, existing simply as dog kind, and are just a tool with which people stoke their egos. If you're in it for the dog you will allow them to relax and settle, even if that has to be taught.

[glngrbred]

Extrodinary Vs. Ordinary circumstance

When people talk about patriarchy, missoginy, feminism, gender, they often completely miss the mark by ignoring extrodinary and ordinary circustance.

For example, Male sui///ide is "common", (among suicides) but that (sui//ides) are extremely extrordinary, just out of this world "uncommon" statistically. When people's main point aginst patriarchy existing is an extraordinary circumstance, We have to realise that agrument is in bad faith for the missunderstanding of circumstance. If you only look at extraordinary circumstances, then you can't see the reality of daily life for MOST people. (wich is what societal values exist as)

In reality almost every ordinary circumstance is more favorable for men than women.

Employment (women get fired for fear of pregnancy, beuty standards. denied jobs on gender bias. lower pay)

Parenting (women have more responsibilities shoved on them, childcare, cooking, scheduling, raising kids, playtime, cleaning, transit) and sometimes they also have to work while doing all this. (so if a man complains about caring for the kids on mom's vacation, he should know better)

On top of parenting, wives often have to care for their spouse as well, cooking for them, buying food, washing clothes, cleaning rooms, etc.

So in 2 of the most/ literally almost every woman's lives/ comon circumstances for women, they inherently have to work harder, and are less valued by society than men. If you have more than 3 braincells, you should notice how unfair that is.

Other things

PERIODS ARE EXTRAORDINARY!!!

YES! menstuation, pregnancy, and CHILDBIRTH are all common, but EXTRAORDINARY circumstances, as they hapen to like what, 20%?? of the population at any time, and at most ~49.7% throughout all of time? that's not a majority, ever, and if we look at given time, its obviouse how unfair just being a person with a vagina is in some reality. you have to deal with painful, weeklong* cramps monthly* for upwards of 30* years, and most men and some women just act like its nothing??? no, nononononono that is NOT nothing, having an extraordinary circumstance inherited at birth*** (shit happens) literally is unfair in an unballanced suffering kind of way.

So, yeah, If you're a guy, just realise that no, a few* (several) extraordinary circumstances (wich really suck) do not make a system of opression and an unfair treatment of a whole half of the population.

To be more specific, you are not opressed because of extraordinary circumstances like (sui///ide, college graduation, mental health crisis [wich is a symptom of patriarchy], violence [bad stat, as women are most likely to be victims], or drug death.) Again, not saying these are good or normal or should continue, All i mean is these extraordinary circumstances do not make a system of oppression, and are sadly actually a peice of patriarchy hurting everyone. SO sorry manosphere ppl, you are just kinda wrong inherently.

Note: i didnt use super inclusive or trans inclusive in general language, MB folks, it just happenned like that, i apologise for any miscomunications, os negative impacts, they are my fault as the writer.

[ewan-mo]

A good day’s work and a celebration dinner

Tuesday 19th September

Breakfast here has different food on offer.  Mo started the day with liver and plantain....

Our conference day began with lingering anxiety over the technology, then a breath of relief. 

Our good friends Mahesh and Sujeet - both professors at Chester University and Cheshire & Wirral Partnership where I used to work - had kindly agreed to give us some teaching on Intellectual Disability and Neurodevelopmental Disorder. ID and NDD! This meant them getting up rather early to allow for the time difference between our two countries, and both ends needing faultless technology to make it happen, despite it being a two hour session over the internet.

Learning from the professors.

ID and NDD are common around the world, and probably neglected more than any other mental health condition.

Happily all went well, and we had a very comprehensive learning session with two international experts. At one point Mahesh was helping us to think about the difficulty some people with NDD have in understanding what others are saying. His illustration was to talk to our students in a foreign language – his native language from a remote part of India, which no one had even heard of. The students were quite entertained as they listened; he turned out to be asking them what they’d had for breakfast.

Our session on epilepsy later in the morning was one of joint learning. 

I challenged the students to discuss how we can do better – rather than just running huge clinics with a minute or two for each patient to review medication and little more, can we do better to help this person in their situation? How are their families managing the stigma? How much do community leaders know? How could we help to change attitudes amongst teachers, employers and the general public? How can we prevent epilepsy from even happening?

Meanwhile I learnt a whole lot more about traditional knowledge of epilepsy and its effects, and the perpetuation of the stigma surrounding the disease.

In April Uganda hosted a national conference on epilepsy. I didn’t know that until I was well on the way thinking about our teaching session! There are 770,000 individuals living with epilepsy in Uganda. Many others are not known to services. There are very few neurologists in the country (hence mental health teams manage people with the condition), and very limited access to investigations such as EEG, which would be routine in the UK. 

Children with epilepsy are often denied education. If they do go to school they are frequently traumatised by the way they are treated – bullied, shamed and stigmatised. Many drop out. Getting employment is a big challenge, and if the seizures are not well controlled, then usually that means dismissal. On our last visit here we met a teacher and her daughter, both of whom have epilepsy. They have been unable to get work. You don’t have to look far to begin to understand some of the causes of poverty in a country like Uganda.

Hugh and Avril arrived just before lunch. It was good to see them and have a more complete team

Supper being cooked outside.

Linda spent the afternoon helping our students to understand psychological ways of working with serious mental conditions like psychosis. 

Workshop Celebration Dinner and an important announcement

Our lovely nuns had prepared a special celebration dinner which as always included several different carbohydrates, and on this occasion, several proteins as well, including goat, chicken, and beef.  In our experience goat can sometimes be a bit chewy, but this was very well cooked. Avril had never had goat before but she really enjoyed it.

They had also commissioned a beautiful cake:

As the meal ended, Hugh (Chair of Jamie’s Fund) gave a moving resume of all that has been achieved in partnership over the last 10 years: 

Working with 25 hospitals across Uganda

Running professional development workshops in mental health

Training of seven new Psych Clinical Officers who will lead services for the future at their facilities

Over 1000 general health workers trained in mental health knowledge and skills

Over 1000 Community Leaders sensitized on mental health

Provision of new equipment – motor cycles, lap tops etc

He then made the difficult announcement that JF would be closing at the end of the year. As Hugh explained, we have not reached the decision easily. We promised that although the Fund would finish, our relationships would not. The trustees are all getting older as JF has been running for 10 years and the next generation of leaders has unfortunately not emerged. (Those of you on the JF supporters mailing list will receive the letter we have prepared in the near future, but  we felt it was important to tell those who are most affected here in Uganda first.)

Ewan and I are certainly likely to return from time to time to see our friends. 

Our wonderful young people received the news quietly but with great grace and appreciation. They promised that they would continue the great work they had been doing, and would indeed continue community mental health service development. 

[hjellacott]

Although that is a very good point, I must say the case of Chat GPT is identical to the internet. They're tools, sometimes really good and useful tools, but they need to be used responsibly. These are some ways I've noticed Chat GPT has been helpful to me in the past few months since using it, by doing a responsible use of it:

Similarly to Google, I use it to find resources and bits of information about things outside my fields of study. Unlike with Google, I can ask it to clarify terms I'm not familiar with, keep a conversation like with a friend to show what I understand and be corrected, and it actually gives me the sources where the information comes from, so I can check it out myself, which often leads me to reading tons of interesting articles I otherwise would've never checked-out. For example the other day I would up studying Martin Luther King, who in my country wasn't really studied in school.

Clarifying grammatical/orthographic questions with languages additional to my mother tongue. I can submit examples of how I think words should be used, and ask it over and over again why some bits are correct, why some are wrong, or to help me explain myself better.

Finding random trivia information about topics I'm not an expert of, or reminding me things I studied and can't remember so well.

Helping me come up with tricks to understand/remember things. For example I ask it for tricks to understand when to use one word or another (with languages I didn't learn in school), or laws I need explained in more layman's terms.

Make quick comparisons between services. For example I needed to find a crowdfunding page and Chat GPT allowed me to easily and quickly compare several existing companies, find pros and cons, and find one that best adapted to what I needed.

Helping me find legal services in a new city, and make a timeline of the steps I needed to take.

Recommend me authors/musicians similar to others I like.

Inform me of when something happened in the past that I didn't witness, and better summarise for me what happened exactly, with sources that I can click on to learn more.

Planning routes for strolls or rides on my bicycle, telling me how long will they take me depending on my speed, and being able to introduce more factors than in Google.

Helping me find a new phone for a friend based on the one he currently had.

In a new country, it helps me figure out which shops I should go to depending on what for, and how public transport works, again with sources to learn more.

My friend (OK not me) used it to give a toast to his boss one time. He was super stressed and anxious, he'd barely slept and was suffering from strong jetlag, the toast was to be in a language he didn't dominate, and it was an important business deal. Chat GPT helped him prepare a good toast, pronounce it properly, and it went so well my friend was actually promoted from that! He's excellent at his job and totally deserved the raise, but he works with numbers and words aren't so much his forte.

It calms down my hypochondria, letting me explain at length what worries me (whether its mental or physical health) and directing me to the most appropriate professionals' own websites when needed.

It helps me picture something I otherwise can't visualise. For example, the interior of a building I've never been inside of. It also helps me describe things I know to others in a way that is more attractive/appealing.

I can learn from it. Often, if I've asked it to do a proper task for me (for example what I just said, describing something I know for someone else), I'll always go over it myself. I learn new words, understand where my self-expression could improve, see why the AI text has things I prefer and why some things I did weren't so good, and get better myself.

It also helps me understand references in books. For example if a story mentions an opera somewhere I've never been, I can ask Chat GPT questions about the place, imagine it better, or ask what the author meant here or there... My Chat GPT ALWAYS lists the sources of the information, so I know what's legit and what isn't.

The other day I used Chat GPT to help a friend who's a refugee figure out how to do a tax procedure in our country of residence. It took us about a minute to get the information we needed, including who to call and which website to go to, and it clarified bits we hadn't quite understood from our taxes website. Total success.

And those are just some examples that come to mind quickly.

[cleaning-has-its-benefits]

during winter last year I had decided that I wanted to write a fic of omoriboy, and later on I began to take some notes of him so I could write him well enough.

but then I thought why not translate them and make a post? maybe it could be useful for someone and variety is the spice of life. since omoriboy is often depicted jokingly, it wouldn't be bad to have more of him seriously from time to time, right?

so here are my notes. I may mention this is a casual character study and I didn't really aim to make the most profound omoriboy analysis, so you'll quickly notice these notes are pretty messy, but in any case, that could serve better for each one to reach their own conclusions.

and being this about omoriboy, then you already have an idea of what subjects will be discussed: sexual themes, poor mental health, attempted suicide and a general pessimistic worldview, all that jazz.

(as an extra warning now that Im done, this motherfucker ended up being 10k words long so this is a post only for the brave)

oh also, I didn't include any images mainly because Im lazy and either way I think they go over tumblr's limit of images per post and I wanna keep this as a single post so.

Im not going to take notes of every single omoriboy drawing that has ever existed, because im lazy, but I'll be looking through the main stuff: the blog, the minicomic and a recent drawing, in that order.

for orientations sake, I'll copy the quotes of each entry, so you can follow along through another source. you can read the blog here, or watch this video here (which also contains many extra stuff), or you can go look for the blog yourself, whatever you prefer.

so, first thing first, the blog!

-> THE BLOG

it all started during a december day of 2011...

[december 22nd, 2011]

"im omori and i fap and play old games"

Probably the most well-known panel out of all the blog, this is where it all started., with Omoriboy’s iconic introduction.

Quite the way to introduce himself, isn’t it? It has left an impression.

So, now the question is, why would he choose to introduce himself in this way?

I think with this, what Omoriboy is trying to achieve by being this upfront is to leave it pretty clear that he isn’t going to try to be appealing to anyone. It makes sense, after all, this is his one place in the world and he won’t try to pretend to be anything that he isn’t. Here, he is as he is.

In the image, he’s shown with his back turned towards the viewer, well kinda-ish. My point is that his body language isn’t very welcoming and his expression looks somewhat annoyed. Speaking of that, he’s also looking directly at the viewer. While in some other drawings he will also doing that, here it gives me the impression of being more intentional, like he wants to see how you'll react.

The contents of the laptop (if you’re viewing an uncensored version) are for all to see, which can contribute to this interpretation of Omoriboy not having any intentions in hiding any unsavory aspect of himself.

Going back to the text, this lacks any capitalization and punctuation, which could give the impression of, well, him simply not bothering with those. No formalities around here, but that’s pretty clear from just reading.

[december 23rd, 2011]

"sometimes i think im too fat, but it’s not like anybody will see me anyway

abs would look kinda cool though"

Considering Omoriboy looks rather thin, its concerning to wonder what would be an acceptable weight for him. Out of this, it could be possible to characterize him with an eating disorder, but given how delicate of a subject it is, I think I won’t be taking that direction. I don’t think Im good enough of a writer to handle it with the tact it needs.

For now, what I’ll take from this is that Omoriboy has a poor image of himself. Self-stem issues, unsatisfied with his appearance. Checks out.

In the image, he is examining himself via touch, so maybe what he means by ‘too fat’ is the feeling of his belly being soft instead of firm with muscles? Yeah this could also go with him having a certain idea of what a ‘real man’ looks like, or generally someone more successful than him. I can work with toxic masculinity.

[december 23th, 2011]

"at times i feel lonely but i try really hard not to think about it"

Since he expresses feeling lonely, I would say he has absolutely no one to talk. Namely, no sort of online friends.

It is also a prevalent feeling, which he has to make a conscious effort to ignore.

this one is pretty straightforward in its meaning.

Here omoboy is in a more comfy position. I would imagine like this he can feel more warm, with the blanket over him and his arms close to himself. A good way to make up from the lack of physical warmth from another person!

We dont see what he’s watching. It may be safe that its more porn but with the way he kicks his legs, that could entail he’s relaxed. Maybe he’s actually watching a show he enjoys? It would make sense then for him to not let us see what it is. Being reserved about this more ‘personal’ thing, he’s not about to let anyone learn more about the things he likes... though that's more of the route Im taking, of someone really reserved and even defensive. its probably more porn but the possibility is there.

[december 23th, 2011]

"what would happen if i died today?

how long would it take for someone to notice?

would anyone even go to my funeral?

probably not

but that’s too my fault i guess"

This one is pretty straightforward so I don’t have much to say. Most of what I can do is take a few notes

-omoriboy casually wonders about his death, specifically how people would act after his death, or if anyone would care about his death. If his death would have any sort of significance. Maybe he wonders if being dead would be any different for the world than if he was alive?

-he reaches the conclusion that no

-then he blames himself over this situation. This could refer to him being a hikikomori and loosing contact with anyone he could’ve had a connection to, or maybe he actively pushed people away before he became a hikikomori? Eh, I would go more with the former, since it would kinda go with the mentality of ‘I chose this’

- his body language doesn’t really leave much up to interpretation. He is letting his mind wander, and it looks like he’s letting his mind wander. Tho for once it would seem like he isn’t trying to distract himself from these thoughts. Is this particular question important enough for him to concentrate on it?

[december 23th,2011]

"i like wearing my socks inside-out, but if people knew that they'd just make fun of me

if i wore black socks, no one would be able to tell

...theoretically of course"

I guess the reason of him preferring to wear his socks inside out is because of the… ok I dont know how its called in english but is like the place were the stitches of the sock are. In some socks they can be pretty big so it can be kinda annoying. so this is a matter of preference, he would feel more comfortable wearing his socks inside-out.

then he immediately after thinks about people’s opinion on this matter, that if he did this inconsequential thing to be more comfortable, which isnt the standard, they would judge him and laugh at him.

who would say I would get such a metaphor out of some socks?

Given that hes never seen with socks that aren’t black, could this be tied with like, that need to perform even when no one is looking? It has a name but I dont remember it right now, but is a thing to consider since he’s right now in ‘his place’ where he can do whatever he wants, but he may be unable to shake off some habits.

Though at the end he kinda acknowledges this. After all, just like he mentioned before, ‘its not like anyone will see him anyway’

does he often imagine these hypothetical scenarios, where people mock him for whatever? Is this some sort of reaffirmation for his lifestyle?

I dont have much to say regarding the illustration. I guess he started to think about this as he was fixing(? his socks, though I hadnt noticed that ‘mark’ on his leg (idk how is it called in english either but is the thing that appears if you wear socks for a long time.) Is that meant to be a mark around the skin or is hair? I dont think he would have a motivation to shave, so maybe I should keep in mind to depict him as more hairy than in the pics.

[december 24th, 2011]

"omori is short for hikikomori (ひきこもり)

the first three letters also correspond with those of my creator

she must think she's so clever"

In the tvtropes page, they interpret this line as his full ‘name’ being hikikomori. here we have a popular show where the protagonist is simply called ‘boy’, so I believe its plausible to have a story of a hikikomori where the protagonist is simply called ‘hikikomori’, omori for the friends he doesnt have. This could also be tied to the loss of like, personhood, and all that remains of him, or all he is, is this state in which he lives.

Im not really sure what to make out of the fourth wall breaks, so Im just going to ignore them, tho from this one I take some notes of how his internal narration would be if he hypothetically interacted with someone else, because this is the closest thing to that. In other words, he’s probably going to make some sarcastic remarks, though he might not voice them. Living frustrated and depressed, it makes sense that his narration would be kinda grumpy.

In the illustration, he keeps the blanket around himself while sitting, which could give the impression of protecting himself or hiding, though I might just take it as a more general term of closing-off. His expression seems kinda distracted or avoidant. Does he want to seem dismissive?

Oh yeah, I also might note he knows what a hikikomori is, and that also entails he has some vocabulary to describe his situation.

[december 24th, 2011]

"w-waifu..."

I think this is one of the few times where he shows real interest in whatever there is on his laptop, not only in attitude, but also in thought, as for once his whole attention is on the screen.

Though we cannot see what it is exactly.

Has he seen a woman that checks all his boxes?

Or its actually a fictional character?

Eh dunno but this is the closest thing to him being happy during the blog. Whatever it is, it has effectively distracted him!

Not much to say about the picture, since it just shows this interest. some people describe it as him kissing the screen but I just kinda see it as him looking closer.

[december 24th, 2011]

"mama says i have a disease

she says it's hard to help to someone who doesn't answer

but i don't need help

everyone else just thinks i do"

so there were various drawings that were easy t understand, but then there were other drawings that I found needed further examination and so I decided to do that once I got a better grasp on the character. this is one of such pictures.

understanding what he means here is very important to understand his character, but for that I got to define what 'help' means to him.

he says 'I dont need help' rather than 'I dont want help.' the wording is important.

I kinda think that 'getting help' for him is an euphemism for something bad, but what and why?

I can think of a long list of reasons, but to get to the correct answer, like I said, I need to understand him better.

so for now I'll just take a few basic notes.

1- he refers to his mother as 'mama'

2-with the vague wording, he could be saying that his mother has told him this, or that he overheard his mother saying this to someone else

3-he seemingly doesnt answer to her when she speaks to him. it could be out of spite or other reason, maybe he doesnt know what to answer, he find talking tiring or maybe pointless, like she wont really listen to anything he might say. this depends of what is the state of their bond, but it wouldnt be a surprise to say its a complicated one.

in the picture, he has placed the blanket on top of him, hiding his whole body and he seems to be crouching. his expression is partially hidden by his bangs, but we can see that he's unhappy, like trying to concentrate on whats on his laptop but being unable to. there's something about this subject that upsets him a lot, making him want to further pull inward. maybe its the wording? maybe he doesnt like to be called ill.

[december 24th, 2011]

"how hard do you think it is

for a kid to grow up when it's got no one to look up to?"

Speaking from experience, likely.

So this rhetorical question would be more insight into his childhood, where he might had lacked any adult role models, or otherwise reliable adults.

Then it brings up what his family situation might have been like. Was he often left alone by his parents? Or where they more like impala parents that mostly focused in providing for his basic necessities, like food and shelter, but otherwise didn’t really do much parenting.

Now omoriboy is old enough to realize these things.

In any case, I don’t think this quote is hard to understand.

Looking at the image, the camera is doing this kind of top-down thing that serves to emphasize how small a character is (specially compared to something else) or to emphasize like certain defenselessness or powerlessness. Even more, we have the character directly looking at the reader, while asking this question. It evokes that image of who once was a small lonely child, now a lonely adult (or teen) that was never taught how to grow up. Its like a moment of sincerity. For someone so distrustful, as I’ve interpreted it, this is like him truly showing vulnerability. The contents of the laptop are out of sight, so not even the reader can be distracted from seeing him as he is, deep down. Someone lonely left to figure out things for themselves, with no guidance.

I think for these reasons this picture is one of the ones I like most.

also, notice how he refers to this kid as 'it' rather than 'them', like an animal or a thing. did he grew up in the kind of place where children are treated no different from dogs or are seen more as burdens? a sadly common place.

[december 25th, 2011]

"i'm don't really like water so i'd rather not shower

i still think i smell better than most ひきこもり but its not like i've ever met any"

I was going to complain about him being shirtless in the middle of winter, but then I remembered that its not like his usual clothing provides much warmth so

He says that he would rather not shower instead of dont, which makes me believe that he might shower occasionally? Or try to.

Then he states that he thinks that he smells better than other hikikomori. Is this wistful thinking or does he have reasons to believe this?

Its possible his hygiene is better than popular belief, but its no guess that he struggles with personal hygiene.

Also, he has never spoken with other hikikomori.

In the picture he’s shirtless and this is the first appearance of mewo!

He could be shirtless because feeling mewo’s fur on his skin is physical contact that he lacks, or maybe because he was showering, or maybe doing that thing where one cleans oneself with like a wet cloth, dunno how its called in english.

Also, today its Christmas but there’s no mention of that. Understandable. When in a bad mental place, the only special thing about christmas is it being a specially bad day so the best thing is to forget about it and hopefully it goes by quickly… but then, was he trying to be more presentable today of all day by cleaning himself? but given his somber expression, he might have changed his mind and decide to forget its christmas. there might be an untold story behind this picture but Im not sure of which.

[december 25th, 2011]

"if i stay here, i can be whatever i want to be

if i leave this place, i'll have to accept my limitations as a human

and i just don't think i'm ready to do that yet"

This is another picture that I decided to leave for further examination later. Its important to understand it correctly.

For now, I’ll make a note that the last line might imply he isnt 100% against ‘leaving and accepting his limitations’, but he states he isnt ready for that yet.

Im not sure if self-awareness is the word, but I think this line shows some level of understanding of himself, though living like this he has plenty of time to self-reflect.

The first line here could be related to certain freedom that being a shut-in can bring, of being away from everyone's expectations, or it could relate to his imaginary escapades.

and the rest is there.

not much to say about the picture, he's playing a game.

[december 26th, 2011]

"whats the point of going to school if i can just learn everything on the internet?"

This to me seems a statement very typical of a teenager.

Nowhere it is stated how old omoriboy is (i think), but by his appearance hes probably somewhere in his late teens-early twenties.

Figuring out this question is also important to figure out another question: how much time has he been a hikikomori? The definition says that at least six months, but he gives me the impression he has done so for longer.

And then there’s the third question: when did he start?

If he was meant to be a college student, I dont think he would be saying this, since college is more about a career and training for that career, so, even if he was in his twenties, he still has the maturity of a teenager. Not like he has had many opportunities to mature like this.

Though that makes me wonder, did he finish highschool? Its possible he dropped halfway. this seems like the statement of a school student.

I could ask the same regarding middleschool, depending of how early he started.

I dont know if there’s a real answer, so I’ll have to choose what to do with these questions.

Anyways, in the picture he looks dismissal. This pose is also typical of a teenager saying ‘whatever, I dont care’ though he doesnt have his hand on his hip. Dunno, it kinda gives me the impression he wants to pretend he doesnt care, but he does, or maybe he's more tired that dismissal and the subject of studying saps away his energy.

[december 27th, 2011]

"god

why is everything so

fucking

boring"

The repetitiveness of his life might be getting him.

Since he established that he plays old games (on a gameboy) then it could be possible that all the games he owns he has already played.

though he has access to the internet, most of the time he's seen watching porn, but most of the time he doesn't even seem interested in what's on the screen. Some time ago I had wondered if the reason he masturbates so often isn't so much for having a high sexual drive but rather it's because it's the only reliable way he has of feeling anything pleasant... or anything in general.

that’s pretty his two activities. A very dull life.

This statement could also be tied to his possible depression and struggling to find enjoyment in anything, even in things he used to enjoy.

Also, first swear. He talks casually and informal but he doesnt swear often. So, when he swears, he has a good reason to.

Not much to say about the picture, it represents well what he’s feeling.

[december 27th, 2011]

"just because i like to hide my feelings doesn't mean i don't have any"

Here when we say ‘to like to do something’ it doesnt always means that a person actually likes to do that, but rather is more of a habit of theirs.

This sentence is pretty straightforward otherwise, but there’s the question of what does he mean by ‘like’?

Probably not so much that he actually likes it, but that its a habit that he has picked up and the circumstances made it one pretty useful. Its possible others mocked him if he showed emotions.

Or maybe he’s just someone reserved and doesnt like others to know whats going on with him

Or its a matter of distrust and he isnt willing to be vulnerable out there with anyone.

Not much to say about the picture, though in many of these where mewo appears, he seems to be talking to her (or to be directing his thoughts to her). I guess he sees her as his only confidant who wont judge or snitch. she’s a great support to him in this way, since she gives him a excuse to express his thoughts.

[december 27th, 2011]

"it's all my fault...

it's all my fault...

it's all my fault..."

this is probably the picture that would lead to the invention of the incident.

so he's blaming himself and this makes him suffer a lot.

though I dont think its ever specified why. is he blaming himself over something in particular (well, not that something...probably) or is this a general sense of guilt?

last time he blamed himself, I attributed it to blaming himself over his own suffering, of putting himself in this situation. that could also be an option, but Im not completely sure this is the case here. maybe its more about him thinking about all the fuck-ups thorough his life that have ultimately culminated into this?

since his past is vague, then here I decided to give myself some liberty to choose, and since Sunny already has a big reason to become a shut-in, then I wanted to go with the route that omoriboy doesnt have a big traumatic event that changed the course of his life, but that doesnt mean he doesnt have a trauma.

here I can apply something that I learned last year! that there's apparently three classifications of trauma: acute, chronic and complex.

acute trauma is a trauma caused by a specific event. Sunny could apply here, because we can pinpoint the exact day and hour his life went downhill.

chronic trauma is one caused by a particular situation that continues through a prolonged period of time, like being in an abusive relationship.

and complex trauma is harder to pinpoint, because is a trauma caused by many different things, and I'll go with the route that omoriboy has this.

[december 28th,2011]

"WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE BUT IT GOES TO WWAAAASSTEEee

COULD IT BE WOOOOOORRSSEEEEEeeeee? ♪"

after a brief search, I found he's singing 'fix you' by coldplay. now I would analyze the song, but since it will appear again later on, then I decided to leave that for later. so I'll focus on the drawing.

I think this is the only time we’ll see omoriboy doing something similar to speaking outloud. Its not like he has anyone to talk to, to be fair, though even in his imaginary adventures he’s never seen talking with anyone… I kinda wonder if he’s actually as quiet as Sunny and prefers non-verbal communication.

In any case, I think this is also a rare instance of omoriboy for once not ignoring his feelings but rather having a way to release them. Good good, should I note a good relationship with music, then?

In the illustration he’s shown really into the song, even singing outloud, and also probably hugging mewo for further comfort, much to her dismay.

Considering the previous image, I think this is a positive development.

[december 28th, 2011]

"too bad saving the world isn't as easy as these games make it out to be"

I wonder if this is a reference to the time period, when everyone was saying that the world would end next year, though I dont remember when that became the talk.

Either way, this can be read as somewhat sarcastically, or there could be deep in a genuine sentiment of wishing the world could be a better place. He believes that the world is unfair and has wronged him, but this could say that this hasnt made him which for the end of the world. So, not outright misanthropic, probably.

Not much to say about the drawing, he’s just playing a game with a neutral expression. With all the game on the floor, it could be to have easy access to any or him juts not being someone tidy. Checks out.

[december 28th, 2011]

"bleep bloop"

This picture is a pretty unique one.

Here we see omoriboy simply goofing around… not much else to say, but I think this shows a bit more of his personality, beyond all the depression. He can be a bit of a goofball, if he feels comfortable enough for that, surely. There’s no many chances for that to happen.

If you squint, I guess you could also say he can be resourceful, using whatever there’s at hand to make some use out of it, though this could also be tied to him being a creative one. though you could also use this as more evidence of him being bored out of his mind.

[december 29th, 2011]

"the great thing about living on a blog is that i don't have to pay rent"

another fourthwall break Im going to ignore.

Though Im not sure why would he be worried about rent. Its not like he would be paying rent anyways… maybe I cant reframe this a bit in that he would be expressing relief at not having to worry about adult problems. I kinda wonder thought if he feels sorry about his mother having to maintain him, but that's just another way of asking what are his thoughts regarding his mother, but I'll define that another day.

[december 29th, 2011]

"if i have to change myself to live, i think i'll be content with just existing"

Another drawing for the ‘examine later’ pile.

This one expresses a similar sentiment as the one from december 25

At first it seemed a bit contradictory to me, since here he shows an unwillingness to change, but then the previous one wasnt about changing, but rather about accepting his limitations.

No further notes for now.

[december 29th, 2011]

"why am i

so weak?"

Could refer to physical weakness, but more likely he means his incapability to cope with life and exist outside… or also could relate to his statement in the previous entry.

There’s this thing I want to point out though, that each time he cries, he hides his face, despite this being his safe place. It could be an attempt at further repression of his feelings, or it could be a custom he has that he learned, that he can't cry openly without backlash. 'men don't cry' and bullshit like that.

Mewo is there for him, at least.

[december 30th, 2011]

"these old memories never really stop messing with us, do they?"

likely referring to the previous entry. maybe he was remembering a moment in particular where he was too weak for... do anything.

Pretty straightforward text. Typical thing you’re going about your day and suddenly something reminds you of something you would have rather not think about. Shame!

Given his dull life where nothing happens, where nothing worth noting happens and each day is identical and the present barely feels like anything, then the only thing to be had is about the past.

Not much to say about the picture.

[december 31th, 2011]

"what if my imaginary friends are the ones that are real?

what if i'm the one who's imaginary?"

Another drawing to exanimate later.

This is the first time we see him standing! And you know how he looks? Forlorn. Yeah I learned a new word! ~Forlorn~. I really like it! Its a fancy word.

This idea of him being fake must depress him a lot, but why? Maybe because then his suffering would be meaningless or like it doesnt matter?

Not sure, but here he establishes to have imaginary friends. I kinda wonder if he’s had imaginary friends all his life or if these are a recent development.

[january 1st, 2012]

"aand heres to -hic- not fukcin thsi yearr up asb ad as th lsat one,,,,"

Its new years and he acknowledges that, unlike with christmas (is the pornsite also celebrating?). He even might be having a little celebration himself! Or just drinking to forget.

He doest seem in the worst mood, though. I dont think he’s being sarcastic here, but rather ironic.

New year, same old omoriboy. He’s watching porn, like always.

Though I wonder if by ‘fucking it up’ he means his daily life in general of if there was some sort of event(s) in particular he’s referring to. After all, he starts his blog in december, who knows what else happened through the year. For all we know, this is actually his first year as a hikikomori.

[january 2nd, 2012]

"my mama always told me if i was kind, considerate, and forgave others, good things would happen

what a load of bullshit

all i did was waste my childhood and give the other kids my face to step on"

Here we have more insight on his past, where he considers that his childhood was wasted away. unlike the game, I believe the blog doesnt shy away about how cruel children can be.

So, highly possible that omoriboy was a victim of bullying from an early age and that must have formed much of his worldview, about the world being unfair.

He did try to follow his mother’s advice and be a good person, only to be humiliated for that. Fucked up to be punished without blame!

In the picture he looks somewhat resentful, which makes a lot of sense.

His mom’s advice isn’t malicious, but she must have failed to give him an actual solution to his problems with other children, and thus, now he must think he was made a fool for listening to a erroneous advice, or like he was tricked into making a fool of himself.

is he resentful towards his mother or her advice?

Very important entry to understand the character.

The knife makes its first appearance.

[january 3rd, 2012]

"it sucks to live in a world where nice guys finish last"

Many people have joked about omoriboy being an incel due to this entry.

Im not super knowledgeable about the incel mentality and Im too lazy to research it in order to determine if he is an incel or not, but the good thing is that in my fic his opinion about women is irrelevant so I dont have to worry about that. So I’ll just use this as more evidence that he thinks the world is unfair and trying to be a good person only gets you to be used as a step ladder.

Now he’s using the knife to draw certain person(?).. or to carve her in the floor? That requires certain care, even when the action of making marks on the floor with the knife could indicate an aggressive way of releasing frustration.

[january 5th, 2012]

"i'm just a waste of space"

Sooner or later he was bound to think about this.

is this due to him being a hikikomori, or has he thought about this from before becoming a hikikomori?

In the picture he’s closely examining the knife’s blade, maybe judging how sharp it is. His expression is neutral, which I’ve interpreted as him stating what he views as a fact. There’s no distractions around, no laptop, no mewo. Only the lightbulb and the knife.

[january 5th, 2012]

"i' _ _ o _ i _ _ , _ a _ a"

His expression is now obscured as he aims the knife towards himself. Its not hard to guess what his intentions are.

before I started taking notes, I had misremembered that his mother was dead and that he wanted to reunite with her. in the video linked above, they interpret this as 'I'm coming, mama' so that might be why.

but he has mentioned that she's alive, and if she had died in the middle of the story then it would have been more obvious, as he would have lost his caretaker and that would have caused conflict. so now Im not sure if that's what he's saying.

then maybe, if he refers to his mother as mama, why couldn't he refer to his father as papa? maybe he's the one dead.

but with my english, I don't think I can take a good guess. the sentence might start with 'I'm' (or maybe I'll'), then follows with a verb ending in -ing (losing could also fit, but Im not sure that's the word either), and the with a word with two a's, or maybe he's laughing.

all in all, I don't know. I'll have to check a dictionary later...

[january 7th, 2012]

"!

you..."

but he's stopped!

two days later.

...maybe the dates just were the posting dates and weren't meant to be taken in consideration... I'll have to reevaluate the stuff from christmas then, but that for another day.

Anyways, here’s abbi!! (or tako-chan, rather)

according to the video, because I can't read japanese, the words here say 'not yet' (twice?)

Curious that he was thinking about her before attempting to end his life and then she’s the reason he changes his mind.

So, who is she? There’s many options:

1- she’s an imaginary friend of his that’s like ‘ hey if you commit suicide you wont be able to visit us anymore!’

2-she’s a fictional character from a show and this is a case of ‘if thinking that naruto would be proud of you gets you to brush your teeth…’

… ok I had two more theories but now that I think so the first one sound the most likely (though these two could coexist, I kinda think the waifu he meant earlier is her, but that’s just my impression)

[january 8th, 2012]

"right

we all find excuses to keep existing even when we'd rather not

choosing to feel pain over feeling nothing at all

...

humans are so stupid"

And in the aftermath of this he lays alone on the floor just kinda thinking about what just happened. Shock might not be the right word but something like that… maybe numbness?

The text here is pretty straightforward, so I dont have much to say. From an objective standpoint, he doesnt think there’s a single reason he should keep living, but his survival instinct grasps onto anything.

Its worth noting his wording tho, how he speaks in a general matter rather than for himself. Maybe he considers his survival instinct is a hindrance and blames his human condition for that?

[january 10th, 2012]

"nothing is ever a big deal if you don't let it be"

Likely referring to the events in the previous pages. He just seriously considered ending his life but it’s not a big deal, really.

(I kinda wonder if he spent the last two days in the same numb state as before...)

Pretty straightforward so I dont have much to say, I could even add this to my notes just by copying it. to the mentality section it goes.

Not much to say about the picture. Its a casual posture with goes along not giving importance to serious things that need addressing.

All in all, a fantastic way to start the year.

[january 10th, 2012]

"i am a cocoon"

And later on the day(? He decides to goof around a bit… or maybe enveloping himself with the blanket is the closest thing to a comforting hug that he can have. At least mewo is there for him.

I like this sentence because while is sure he means it literally, pretending to be a cocoon, it can be taken metaphorically. Im not sure he is prone to be that philosophical though, but the thought is there.

[january 12th, 2012]

Now its time to analyze some tunes!

and let the internet become witness of how terrible I am at understanding songs. I barely read poetry and when I do I hardly understand it and its the same with songs.

But first, the illustration.

You know what? I think I’ll make a note of him having a positive relationship with music, here he looks like he is actually enjoying the songs, and if anything, he’s concentrated on them rather than thinking about something else. Good angst is all about balance, yknow? So its good to keep in mind the few positive things he has in life.

Ok then, time to open yt.

~musical analysis~

The smiths- please, please, please

This is a song of 1984 and the full title is ‘please, please,please let me get what I want’, or at least that’s the song that appears.

Essentially, this is a song about a guy(? Who has lived through a lot of misfortune and now begs for things to turn out alright for once. It checks out for the kind of life that i imagine omoriboy has had.

Imogen heap- speeding cars

This is a song of 2005 (or at least the album was released then)

At least from what I understand, this is a song about the singer comforting someone having a hard time and telling them that these kind of things are part of growing up, so acknowledging their suffering, but still reassuring them that they love them. There’s also a line where they discourage them from committing suicide.

Coldplay- fix you

This is a song of 2005 and also the song that omoriboy was singing earlier. I investigated it a bit more earlier for that, and I learned that the singer wrote this song after the father of his wife passed away.

Then this is also a song where the singer comforts someone who is suffering and promising to be there for them. The line ‘but if you never try, you’ll never know/ just what you’re worth’ catches my attention, mostly because of how the blog ends.

Don mclean – american pie

This is a song of 1972 and it has a cultural importance for the united states! Or so wikipedia says.

And since its a song so tied to its time period and nation, then I spend a good 15 minutes reading explanations because after reading the lyrics I didnt understand anything. Now that I finally more or less get it, the question now is, how does this relate to omoriboy?

In a very broad way, this song is about an era gone by, one where things were happier and now everything is more decadent. It can be about loss of societal naivety (is that the term?) or generally thinking that everything was better in the past and now everything keeps getting worse. I guess omoriboy could like this song because this whole thing of growing disillusioned with existence and missing a more innocent time is an universal feeling?

Foster the people – helena beat

This is a song of 2011 and I ended up reading that this songs is about self-destructive habits because I read a bit too much, but I dont think this changes that much.

Its a conflicting song, with opposing feelings regarding the subject matter, which makes sense as its a complicated thing. There are a lot of conflicting feelings regarding the singer’s own habits. There’s also a lot of lyrics that can apply to omoriboy, like ‘You know those days when you wanna just choose/To not get out of bed, you're lost in your head again’ and ‘Slip and fall, I'm dodging calls, hug the prison I've been living in’ I think this song would let him know that he isnt alone in having conflicting thoughts.

Overall, in a matter of music itself his likings are varied, but in a matter of lyrics he listens to songs that he can identify with, where his feelings are put into words. I think they would help him in not feeling alone with his experiences. So yeah, music is a very good thing for him.

[january 13th, 2012]

"ice cream..."

This is the first time he shows interest in something from outside. My guess is that he heard that jingle from an ice cream truck passing nearby and, well, he would like to have some, but… yknow, going outside is out of the question for him.

Taking in consideration the next image, I think this just served to give him a reminder of what kind of life he leads and that he cant do normal things like buying ice cream. It must have soured his mood, to remember the world inst place for him.

Dunno about you but this is the illustration that saddens me the most.

[january 15th, 2012]

"the closest i've been to being happy is being asleep"

More evidence that his life has been pretty depressing.

In the game many things were toned down from the blog, the sexual elements are the most obvious, but Im starting to think the protagonist’s backstory was also toned down by giving Sunny a happier childhood.

I guess Omoriboy doesnt mind being a hikikomori because he has nothing in the world that he misses. While he has his regrets, he doesnt seem to long for a different time so agonizingly like Sunny does.

In any case, dreaming must be the ultimate form of distraction, a true escape from this painful world into a kinder one… or as close as it’ll ever get.

In the picture he doesnt look exactly happy, but this must be because he’s trying to fall asleep currently, and this thought must have crossed his mind. His awake time must be more like just killing time until he can fall asleep again, or an unpleasant reminder that his happiness isn’t real… in that sense maybe this picture is actually about him having just woken up and wishing that he hadn’t.

[january 19th, 2012]

"fucking neighbors..."

A widely-understood sentiment.

So the neighbours are having a party and the loud music(? Won’t let him sleep.

Even if by itself this would be greatly annoying, omoriboy has stated that he’s his happiest when he’s asleep, so not being able to sleep is a even bigger deal for him. Right now they’re taking away the only way he has of being happy. A swearing is well-warranted.

Now this pic leads to another (probably seizure-inducing) pic that shows the neighbour’s room, but since that’s not relevant to my fic then I’ll ignore it, I have enough with these 40+ images to takes notes from. not much to note about the picture, beyond the suffering of the FUCKING NEIGHBOURS and THEIR FUCKING PARTIES THAT LAST UNTIL 4AM

[january 23rd, 2012]

"where am i going?"

In the tvtropes they choose to read this literally but I’ll go with the metaphorical route.

So, here our protagonist is thinking about the future, what his current path in life is leading to.

With how empty his present life is, then it makes sense that when he looks forward into the future, all he sees is a blank whole of nothing.

But at least mewo is there, with her unconditional companionship.

[january 25th, 2012]

"anything fun is just a distraction from how much the world actually sucks"

Considering that at his core hes a vent character, it makes sense that he’s someone pessimistic.

His daily life consists on distracting himself from how much his own life sucks, but given this mentality, I wonder if his unwillingness to change is rooted in that he believes outside he would be pretty much doing the same, distracting himself from how much the world sucks, or how much his job sucks, or how much his life sucks in a different way. Being a hikikomori sucks but outside isnt much better. Stuck between bad and worse.

Not much to say about the picture, he has mostly a neutral expression so this thought doesnt bring out many emotions, which makes sense since for him he’s stating a fact of life that can’t be done anything about.

[january 31st, 2012]

"how are you supposed to cheer up if you don't know why you're sad in the first place?"

After many pictures with the contents of the laptop out of view, now we can see that he has returned to his usual routine.

After his attempted suicide, even if he decided to not think of it as a big deal, what he did the following days was different than usual. Give himself some comfort, listen to music, not really using his usual distractions. I could say its the closest thing for him to self-care day. I think this experience affected him and he was, if maybe subconsciously, looking for comfort.

But sooner or later, he was bound to go back to his usual routine, since nothing was actually addressed.

About this entry, well its pretty self-explanatory. He often feels sad, even when nothing in particular has happened. Maybe this also happened before he became a hikikomori.

[february 1st, 2012]

"in my world, i am a god"

Another post with a a link to another drawing! But first I’ll take notes from this one.

In the real world, he would be seen as a useless loser that no one would miss, but in his world, he’s the most important being.

So, on one side his statement here could be about having control. The world cannot hurt him if he controls it, but it could also be about having control on his own life, or just having the control to mold the world to how he wants it to be.

On the other, this ‘being god’ thing could be about being important to the world, but I think its more likely its the first option.

In the illustration, he’s drawing while kicking his legs and having a somewhat intense look, so he is enjoying himself but also this is a serious thing! Probably

So, about the drawing linked in question…

Eh, I think i’ll mostly make a note about the things that he likes to draw rather than trying to understand the meaning, because Im tired after all these pictures.

Things to note then

→ Videogame influences

→ Himself with smile, red eyes and a bloody knife (a revenge fantasy or maybe him being able/allowed to defend himself from anyone trying to hurt him)

→japanese text i cannot read (the vid says that this means love apparently)

→ his eyes stabbed out (him being injured? self-harm?)

→ many eyes (feeling of being observed?)

→ tentacle hentai influences?

→ severed limbs

→ bows

→ scribbles

→ cats

→ underwear

→ a grotesque interpretation of that scene from lady and the tramp, maybe

→ a lot of red and black (resist breaking into song)

→ hearts

this reminds me its been a while since I drew something complex... I've been drawing graphics all month... I could give it a try to draw something like this, it seems fun.

[february 6th, 2012]

"bad kitty!"

This is another of the few comedic moments. Not much to say that isnt obvious. He’s calling mewo a bad cat for scratching his face, though he doesn’t look too annoyed about that. Maybe he’s more patient with animals since they don’t act maliciously and thus if she hurt him was because he provoked her? Unlike people, who might have hurt him out of malice and makes him feel wronged and bitter. She’s also his only company, so, that could also be.

With all of this I just wanna note that he might be the kind of person that enjoys/prefers more the company of animals than people.

Not much to say about the picture, though this is the only time he uses a exclamation point. sometimes he might plays with mewo as part of his limited number of activities.

[february 24th, 2012]

"y'know

i wouldn't really mind going outside that much if everyone else wasn�t so stupid"

so his reason to not going outside is due to the people's attitude.

I dont think he believes himself to be intellectually superior to anyone, so by stupid I think he would mean people being rude and unpleasant or withholding arbitrary ideals that don't make sense, like gender norms as an example.

Now, I’ve said he believes the world is unfair, but is it because the world itself is like that or because the people in it make it unfair? I think this is an important distinction, but all of that for later.

In any case, I’ll make a note that people annoy him... (or so he says, but it could be that they make him feel wary)

yeah I know this analysis is lackluster but I was tired.

Btw, for some reason, the picture is signed differently.

[march 5th, 2012]

"life would be so much better if i didn't look like a potato"

this is going back to the sentiment at the beginning. I guess by ‘looking like a potato’ he means that he looks fat… just like he mentioned in the second picture.

I guess these thoughts are like cyclical and he’s going back to the beginning. He might later think about his loneliness, then about his blame, then about what people might think about him, then about his death, and so on until starting again. There’s only so many subjects to think about. He might try to commit suicide again, then he will pretend its not a big deal, and back to the start.

Given this is the last picture before the ‘end’, then I think its just a statement how there’s no really a beginning or end, as long as everything remains the same. Rather than a story, this is just a look at his daily life, and that’s all.

Not much to say about the picture. He looks ashamed and is ashamed of his appearance. Like before, the picture is signed as ‘omori’ now.

[march 14th, 2012]

"no way"

[password is incorrect]

"if i never try, it means i never have to give up

but i guess that makes me a coward anyways"

onto the finale!

In that case, I think I’ll examine these three pictures together, because that’ll be easier and less work for me.

In the first picture, he is seen distressed as he

The fucking program crashed and it didnt save all the nice analysis I had written

Well fuck

So the ending here is about omoriboy giving up access to the blog because the password is incorrect and he from the get go sets himself to failure and so prefers to not try at all than to try again and again and having to accept the humiliation of failure. The story concludes with him considering himself a coward for this. (was he ever called a coward for not following the mentality of never give up? Or he has gone through many failures)

The reason the password is incorrect could be due to him simply mistyping which would make his decision all the more drastic, since he looses access to one of his only sources of entertainment and its not like he is indifferent to that as the first pic shows,which either could mean that he has been a shut in for a long time so his problems have gotten worse to this point or in his memory is fresh all the failures of his life and even something so simple repels him.

The problems with the password could also be due to external factors, like him getting hacked or maybe getting some malware from all the pornsites, but im not sure that would fit thematically but is a possibility.

Or maybe his mom could have done something in this with a misguided idea that taking away his access to the internet will change his shut-in habits.

Its an stereotype to have a shut-in character who is very good at technology so i think it makes him more unique by him showing an average knowledge regarding technology, i like that.

Ok now I remembered to save. Hey now that I think so he also lost access to his tunes :(

and that would be it for the blog! so now I'll go with the comic.

-> OMORI'S STORY

So, omori’s story.

I wont be analyzing every picture like before this time, but rather I’ll look at the entire comic as a general thing.

Omori’s story starts with him being in his white void as usual. In this case, he’s entertaining himself with drawing with crayons when a white wooden door catches his attention.

He decides to open it, and when he does, he finds himself in a colorful place, with a cat watching him, some floating hands reaching him, and a good view of he night sky.

Some people are here and they quickly notice his presence. They look happy to see him and approach him to greet him. The girl grabs him by the wrists, making him blush, but the other two boys snatch him away much to the girl’s annoyance. Mewo is coming along. It all seems to be just playful banter, as the girl soon joins and they all walk side by side like a good group of friends. Omoriboy has some expressions that we have never seen before, looking shy and unsure, but the rest are easy-going and bring him along in their outing. this page is my favorite, is very wholesome!

Firstly they visit some kind of playground and the four of them play with a jumping rope. There’s a lot of other young people around playing with each-other and having fun.

After that they go to the pool and swim around while other people are also swimming or relaxing.

And after so much physical activity, they decide to rest a bit while going to float in space, as friends usually do. There seems to be a firework show around, maybe even some sort of festival or celebration. Until now, omoriboy has looked somewhat perplexed, but here he has a honest smile!

After they have rested, they seem to be heading to their next destination, climbing some sort of hill made out of cats. They run up and omoriboy merrily goes after them.

But when he reaches out for the girl, not only she vanishes, but everything else as well. It seems it was all just a very vivid daydream. Omoriboy now stands alone in his white room, with a bunch of drawings on the floor.

With a close up, all these drawings are of the places he had been daydreaming about, as well as a drawing of the people that so easily included him.

Now we see his face, simply looking down at these drawings with a tired expression.

He falls to his knees and longingly reaches out for the drawings. His expression first is neutral, but then he grits his teeth, his bangs obscuring his face. He then curls down (is that the word?) as the camera zooms out, letting us see a gigantic and empty white void of nothing but a lonely guy, his cat, and a bunch of drawings of everything he doesnt have.

So what can we conclude from all of this?

On one hand, that omoriboy is terrible at coming up with names, which is a very convenient character trait as Im also terrible at coming up with names, so that means I dont have to make an effort on that regard.

On the other hand, despite the reputation that omoriboy has, his fantasy is very tame and childish. And well, its not really a comic hard to understand.

All he dreams of is having people that are willing to accept him even when he’s different from them (if he wanted to be like everyone else, I think he would be changing color palette to be purple, but no, he remains the same, clearly different from everyone else but no one cares), people that include him in their outings and encourage him to have fun even when its not something familiar to him. So, all he wants is to have friends to have fun with in a nonjudgmental world.

Now that I think so, you know how many people have said that they would like to have a group of friends like the main gang? I think omoriboy shares the sentiment.

Though other way to see this is that he daydreams of the childhood that he didn’t get to have, but its not like these interpretations are conflicting.

Sadly, all of this its just a dream… at least as of now, there’s no much evidence that these characters have real-life counterparts. For all we know, they’re completely imaginary. But at least mewo is there.

the comic speaks for itself. Just loneliness and the longing for human connection.

there's something I've been thinking about, back when I analyzed the song 'fix you' and while still wondering what he entails by 'help.'

the songs selection give me the impression that Omoriboy wants support, someone to be there for him to acknowledge his pain and comfort him.

but the idea of help might feel conditional for him. there will be someone there for him, but only if he makes an effort in changing. depression must sap his energy away, so the idea of doing anything is exhausting for him. he cannot get support if he doesnt go get it, and he's just too tired. it makes him feel pressured to change when he doesnt feel ready, but people dont listen him to him and keep insisting for him to change, which even if well-meaning, will only make him feel like he isn't being listened.

so I was thinking, maybe what he meant was 'I don't need help to change, I need support'

this idea still needs examination, but Im still sure he would like to have some unconditional support, one that lets him stay flawed and still offer understanding.

I think I explained myself like shit but hopefully you understand where Im getting at. basically 'you'll get support only if you fix yourself' vs ' I'll support you now as you are'

so the same sentiment, being accepted the way he is, with all his flaws.

(as a separate note, depending on how much you separate omoriboy from Sunny, then in certain way he did get what he wanted so much, after being reworked into Sunny: a loving family, a nice neighbourhood and a group of friends who accepted him just the way he was…

There’s this real good trick for angst, which says to give your character that which they want the most, so you can take it away from them in the worst way possible. its seems they followed this philosophy)

There were a couple more stuff with omoriboy, but later on, after some point, he was separated into two characters and for some years that would be it for him.

But surprisingly, there’s a recent picture of him now!

-> omoriboy?! in MY 202x?! (I dont remember when this was posted and Im too lazy to check)

There’s a few differences with the previous pictures. First, there’s a few new objects: a tv, some furniture, a console which I think is a super nintendo with a cartridge on it, and our good omoboy is laying inside a box. The laptop is completely absent, so I guess he truly never touched it ever again. The lightbulb is also missing, but I’ve jus kinda ignored it all this time. The game already has all its symbolism so in my fic its just a burnt lightbulb (is that the term for a lightbulb that doesnt work well?)

Otherwise, he’s the same as ever, playing videogames with a bored expression. According to the wiki this file is named giygas so I guess he’s playing mother 2, or he’s replaying it after having played it so many times he feels absolutely nothing at this poignant moment of the game.

Now there’s something that catches my attention, and that’s the text you can see written on the box. It seems to say ‘ I feel HAPPY’. Did he write it? Why? In the blog he’s pretty honest about how he feels, even when his feelings are conflicting. That’s the whole point, that he can be genuine and doesnt have to hide how awful he feels. This seems strange coming from him. Its obviously a lie, but is he trying to lie to someone? To himself? To the viewer? Or is he sarcastic?

There’s also the static that covers the whole image, which was never present before (in this way at least, if you’re reading the censored version).

I remember there was another thing I thought back when it was posted. First, I jokingly said something along the lines of ‘in ten years, nothing has changed!’ but its the kind of thing that when you think twice, it isnt funny anymore.

Ten years have passed, and nothing has changed.

It wouldn’t be a surprise to know his mental health has gotten even worse, and now has opted to try and delude himself that he’s satisfied with his life, or that maybe he’s even loosing his grasp in reality. That would explain why the tv seems to be dripping (at first it scared me because it looked to me like battery acid, but if it was then it wouldnt be working… and do tv’s even have a battery inside?) in certain way, isnt it a silent scream?

but at least mewo is there with him!… but cats only live so much time. how much longer will she be there?

and that's all for omoriboy as of now, until we see him next time... if there's a next time.

-> IN CONCLUSION

I still have some more stuff to do, but now the bulk of the character analysis is done. I still have some unanswered questions, but after Im done with writing the character profile I think then I’ll have a better feel of what the correct answer, either by what feels more in character or whats more fitting for the theme of the story.

Now I have a lot of ideas for the protagonist’s backstory, the place he has grown in and his relationships, I even have a good deal of what his mother’s story is, but I also have the problem that I dont have an actual plot for the fic itself, just a vague idea of the beginning and end, but Im not too worried about that.

As an actual conclusion though, I believe omoriboy has some excellent angst potential that isnt being explored! When I looked up the tag in ao3, there were many crackfics, smutfics, shipfics but not much that actually was what I wanted, gut-wrenching angst. Only three fics ended up catching my attention, but if anything my whole fanfic writing career started because I couldnt find the fic I wanted to read so, its not problem for me. by the end of it, I hope to make the readers feel a deep sense of emptiness, so I have a goal in mind.

there's also some stuff I wanna investigate more:

1- porn addiction.

I have wondered if omoriboy has a porn addiction but since I dont know its actual definition, which its sure more complex than 'watching a lot of porn' then it seemed like a good chance to learn more. if anything, it will be funny to make yt believe I have a porn addiction.

2-hikikomori

its never bad to learn more

3-incel mentality

its not a priority but its really bothering me. is he an incel or not? its not important for my fic so I could skip it but leaving a question unanswered will drive me mad.

I think it also would be fun to make a chart comparing omoriboy and Sunny.

for now I’ll take a rest of omoriboy because this has taken a lot of effort.

hopefully this has been an interesting read for you!

[sbanimation]

The Impact of Medical Animated Explainer Videos on Healthcare Communication

In the ever-changing field of healthcare, good patient care and education depend on clear communication. Medical animated explainer videos have emerged as a transformative tool, bridging the gap between complex medical concepts and accessible information for both healthcare professionals and patients. These engaging visuals provide clarity, enhance understanding, and improve retention in a way that traditional methods often cannot.

Understanding the Importance of Medical Animation

Medical animation simplifies intricate topics, making them easier to grasp. Whether explaining human anatomy, medical procedures, or treatment plans, these animations create visual representations that resonate with viewers. By translating complex scientific language into engaging visuals, healthcare providers can communicate vital information more effectively.

Key Benefits of Medical Animated Explainer Videos

Visual Learning Enhancement: Text takes longer for the human brain to process than images. The medical animated explainer videos leverage this advantage by presenting information in an engaging manner. Viewers can see how systems function or how conditions manifest, which enhances their understanding and retention.

Increased Engagement: Traditional training materials can often lead to disengagement. On the other hand, lively graphics and engaging storytelling make animated videos stand out. This engagement is crucial in medical education, where maintaining focus can significantly affect learning outcomes.

Patient Education: For patients, understanding their health conditions and treatment options is critical. Medical animated explainer videos can simplify explanations of complex diagnoses, medication mechanisms, and procedures. These videos enable patients to make knowledgeable decisions about their care by demystifying medical jargon.

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Medical animated explainer videos represent a significant leap forward in healthcare communication. By transforming complex information into engaging visuals, these animations enhance understanding, improve retention, and empower both healthcare providers and patients. As the healthcare industry embraces innovative communication strategies, the use of animated videos will play a crucial role in shaping the future of medical education and patient care. In a world where clarity is essential, leveraging medical animated explainer videos is not just beneficial—it’s necessary for fostering a better-informed healthcare community.

[journallingweeks]

feelings

My feelings towards my family members are so complex that I feel I'll live to deeply regret saying them out loud if anything were to happen to those family members, but not saying them or voicing them I believe, after reading, is literally bad for my health.

My complex relationship with my mom: I feel she is solely focused on her own life and our relationship is similar to that of really good friends - her love language is gifts, as is mine, so when she does this for me I am deeply deeply touched, and feel guilty for everything I've ever said. But at the same time, growing up we weren't given nutritious dinners - most nights we were getting food from the Deli or Joop - I often remember my uniform being stained and having a pile of clothes that I couldn't face on my bedroom floor - she could grow cold or distant when she was upset and could snap unexpectedly - she let me down a lot during college, when my friend died, or when everyone else's parents drove up often and sent up meals or made a fuss of their 21st, or helped them to learn to drive or encouraged them to begin at least - she knew I worked 40 hour weeks during the summers to pay for fees, whilst on 65 grand a year - finding out she had been purposely hiding this info from me, because in turn, I'd realise how far away we were from government funding, something I was trying to organise out of desperation for weeks. In college I sat in our year head's office crying because I had found out that day that my fees were going to be €200 more and that amount of money was colossal to me at the time- and I realised I simply couldn't pay them and had no-one to turn to. €200. It hurts that she hasn't shown much interest in seeing my bf's place that I'm moving into, or the attic in my sisters two summers ago that I spent weeks of my life renovating. It hurt when I came home from travelling for 3 months and the fridge was empty. It hurts to think how freely she'd bitch about my dad, taking full reign to turn us against him - realising in hindsight how skewed that perspective is - the hoarding being a massive issue that she won't face. Making out to be a monster and attempting to open up about my parent's sex lives which is so ridiculously out of my depth and something I'd literally hate to get into - the fact I even need to shut that down and tell her its a boundary is bizarre. The fact my sister, was 13 going out with a 19 year old, and when he gets exposed as a sex offender years later, she announces she feels sympathy for him.

the beautiful things about my mom! I love her so much. In some ways I have felt I will probably never love someone as much again. It is unconditional and I literally can not imagine my life without her. I feel like bawling my fucking eyes out when I think of her as a young girl, or on her wedding day or as a 13 year old. Or her relationship with our dog, or how much she'll miss her dad forever. She still wells up when she speaks of him and he died in 2017. She is softly spoken with tiny hands and shoulders. She loves crafts, music, art, scary films, milky tea, fantasy, shopping, going for coffees, her sister. She is a sensitive soul and emotional being. She will surprise me with my favourite lip balms and orders from cult beauty and hot water bottles. She will thoughtfully remember things I've mentioned in passing and loves to surprise. She loves trinkets and things. She has a stack of books higher than her bedside table next to her bed. She loves lavender and lemon. She is more gentle than I'll literally every be, in the way she moves and talks and thinks. She ADORES the cinema and fiction in general - 'anything escapist'. She's a feminist. When I was a teenager, and I had terrible mental health, she really really tried for me. She moved me out of a school I hated and absolutely fucked my least favourite teacher out of it, not only in person but following up with a scathing, well-articulated letter. She encouraged my artistic side by buying me paints and colours every Christmas. She made a massive effort for Christmas to be special - to keep the magic alive in it - we'd go to Blarney Woolen Mills after school and get Butler's hot chocolate there. She'd take us to Fota Christmas even as adults! We'd watch love actually by the fire with the dog. She has a great sense of humour - slightly dark and would throw her head back laughing at things. She has a secret language with her sister seemingly - that they can only understand. She loves to sing and has a beautiful voice. I love her so much. She makes an amazing milky coffee. If someone I met told me I was just like my mom, I would be so flattered. She wearings beautiful craft earrings with a matching printed coat and dress with clogs of some sort - stunning blue eyeliner with the cutest bob haircut and a fringe, always. Sometimes, in casual wear, she'll wear a low tiny bun, gold sleeper earrings and an oversized sweatshirt and it is so effortlessly beautiful. She uses her tiny hands when she's speaking or telling a story. I love her so much

[turtle-trash]

Different anon but essentially, you looked at Black people using aave: African American vernacular english, having fun on a post and decided it was OK to screenshot and imply they were all hostile people, or using "cruel" language. It's racist to assume Black people having fun on a tournament poll(which people have been actually cruel with) are threatening just because you are not familiar with the language. If you can recognize that White women refer each other as bitches and sluts out of familiarity and friendship you need to extend that kind of understanding with other languages(yes aave is a language). If you personally do not feel comfortable using such language, thats fine, but thats how other people talk you cant control that. But it goes to show that you guys need to stop stealing aave just to make yourselves appear more threatening or angry or as an interntet joke. Because nonblack people steal it so much you guys have desensitized yourselves the ability to recognize when actual Black people are just being friendly. Case in point: your "my brother in christ" post? The original phrase that white people stole to turn into a meme was "my n*gga in christ". Hence why we ask you guys to stop using "my brother in christ" memes. But even then the original phrase still means "friend". N*gga is a slur, but Black people can use it to refer as "homie" or "friend". Yall can't. Context matters. And now we are at the point where people are accusing the polls to be botted which hate to tell yall it ain't that important. Someone brought this up but if reylos didn't care to bot these things why would anyone care for two characters hardly anyone knows. But other than that, the constant association of equating Black people to bots on this website is racist and its annoying that keeps on happening. That's not even how bots work. You truly want to work on being a better a person, go learn this stuff: research. I can't even blame the other anon that just sends you a "you're just racist" message. I had the time to send this. But more often than not yall drain us because every day with this stuff. You feel exhausted through this experience alone? Imagine going through this and the racism everyday in every fandom space when you just wanna have fun. You gotta put in the effort yourself sometimes

Ohh Kay give me a sec. I need to process this (i don’t do vry good with long blocks of text with no spacing. Apologies)

When I posted those screenshots I didn’t know that the people who said those things were black, I’d try to defend myself on this but I know that I may say something wrong since I’m really bad with words. All I was trying to do was inform the op that the cruel words could have started again. I think one of my mistakes was making it public, as i didn’t expect me doing that would have spread that much (I don’t exactly have a very big presence on this site)

The reason I assumed the language being used was harmful is likely due to my inability to read tone over text, not an excuse, just an explanation. I will reiterate that my issue was with the fact that people (no matter who says it) were referring to a character who’s a child in that way

Ive already gotten a message about my use of the "my brother in Christ" phrase, I’m already removing it from the phrases I use occasionally. I try to keep posts that I’ve messed up on to not try to erase my mistakes, I think it’s good to be transparent about the mistakes I’ve made and I see I’ve failed in that department [not trying to excuse my actions or anything, I’m just attempting to state what I’ve done wrong]

I didn’t say that botting was happening anywhere, I don’t think there was any botting happening. I’m not quite sure where the statement that people think that black people are bots came from in regards to this situation (since I didn’t even mention the potential of botting anywhere except my post saying I want to try and distance myself from this situation for my mental health iirc. And even then I didn’t say the poll was botted)

I understand if anyone is uncomfortable with how I handled anything these past few days. I know I should see if I can find anything to try and better my understanding of this (which I should probably do before I somehow forget, apologies, my memory isn’t very good sometimes)

Im not sure how to end this in a good way but thanks for letting me know, sorry for making you guys feel uncomfortable

[hotilhotil]

Israel is a country often

Israel is a country often associated with its religious significance, political conflicts and beautiful landscapes. However, there is another side of Israel that often remains hidden from the public eye - the thriving escort industry. This industry has been a controversial topic for many years, but it is a reality that cannot be ignored. In this article, we will explore the world of escort girls in Israel and shed light on this often misunderstood profession. Firstly, it is important to understand that the escort industry is legal and regulated in Israel. This means that women who choose to work as escorts do so of their own volition and are protected by the law. Escort girls in Israel come from diverse backgrounds, with some choosing it as a full-time profession while others do it part-time to support their studies or other career aspirations. <a href="https://www.allsex.co.il/%d7%a0%d7%a2%d7%a8%d7%95%d7%aa-%d7%9c%d7%99%d7%95%d7%95%d7%99/">www.allsex.co.il/%d7%a0%d7%a2%d7%a8%d7%95%d7%aa-%d7%9c%d7%99%d7%95%d7%95%d7%99/</a> One of the reasons why the escort industry is thriving in Israel is because of the influx of tourists and business travelers to the country. With Tel Aviv being ranked as one of the top travel destinations in the world, there is no shortage of clients for these professional companions. Many escort agencies in Israel cater specifically to the international market and provide services in multiple languages to cater to their diverse clientele. One of the main misconceptions about escort girls in Israel is that they are forced into the profession or involved in illegal activities. This is simply not true. In fact, many escort agencies have strict recruitment processes and only hire women who are of legal age, have no criminal record and are in good physical and mental health. These agencies also ensure that their employees receive proper training and are equipped to handle any situation that may arise. The services provided by escort girls in Israel go beyond just physical intimacy. Many clients also seek their companionship for business events, dinners, and parties. These women are not just beautiful and glamorous, but also well-educated, intelligent and well-mannered. They are trained to be the perfect professional companion, providing excellent conversation and creating a pleasant atmosphere in any setting. Some may question the morality of the escort industry, but it is important to understand that these women are providing a service that is in demand. They are not forcing anyone to use their services, and in fact, many clients have reported feeling less lonely and more confident after spending time with an escort. These women are not just objects of desire, but also provide emotional support to their clients who may be going through a difficult time in their personal lives. Moreover, the escort industry also contributes to the economy of Israel. It provides job opportunities for women, boosts tourism and drives revenue for the country. Many escort girls also pay taxes, just like any other professional, and contribute to the development of the country. In conclusion, the world of escort girls in Israel is complex and often misunderstood. However, it is a legitimate profession that provides a range of services beyond physical intimacy. These women are professionals who deserve the same respect and rights as any other worker. As long as it is regulated and both parties involved are consenting adults, there is no reason to judge or stigmatize this industry. It is time to shed the negative connotations and see the escort industry for what it truly is - a legitimate profession that provides a valuable service to its clients.

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Learning Disabilities and Depression

Why kids with LDs often develop depression, and need emotional support, too Writer: Molly Hagan Clinical Experts: Laura Phillips, PsyD, ABPdN , Helene Omansky, LCSW What You'll Learn - Why are kids with LDs more likely to be depressed? - How does school affect a child's self-esteem? - How can parents and teachers emotionally support kids with learning disabilities? - Quick Read - Full Article - School and self-worth - Academic challenges get tougher - Comparisons with peers - Hiding the signs - A vicious cycle — how depression impacts learning - Classroom safety - Combining academic and emotional supports Research shows that children with learning disabilities run a higher risk of developing depression than other kids — and that this risk increases as they get older. Depression comes from feelings of hopelessness and low self-worth. And the struggles kids have at school play a big role in how good or bad they feel about themselves. These challenges include more difficult work in the classroom as kids get older but also social problems. When kids turn 8 or 9, they begin to compare themselves to their friends and peers. Kids with LDs might feel embarrassed by their learning challenges and want to hide them. Some kids will act out. Others, including many girls, will withdraw at school, and from friends  — which makes it much harder for parents and teachers to know that they have a learning disorder in the first place. Dealing with undiagnosed learning disabilities can make kids anxious and depressed. And depression and anxiety, in turn, can affect the brain, making it harder to remember things and concentrate. Because being anxious or depressed makes it hard to learn, schools are beginning to teach social and emotional learning (SEL) skills to kids with LDs, to help them cope with difficult feelings. Learning support by itself is not enough to help kids succeed. But while SEL skills are very helpful, kids showing signs of depression — like being tired all the time, seeming sad, or losing interest in things they usually enjoy — should see a medical professional for treatment. We think of learning disabilities as affecting kids in school, but challenges in skills like reading, writing, math, and language affect all aspects of life, not just academic performance. We are using them all the time — reading street signs, counting change, playing games, and following conversations with friends. Struggling with skills that appear to come easily to others, inside the classroom or out, can take an emotional toll starting at an early age. Research shows that children with learning disorders are at higher risk for developing depression. This risk increases as children enter their teenage years. “Kids spend the majority of their waking hours in school,” says Laura Phillips, PhD, a neuropsychologist and the senior director of the Learning and Development Center at the Child Mind Institute. “When you spend eight hours a day engaged in something that’s challenging for you it has a very significant impact on your self-concept — meaning your idea about who you are as a person — and your ability to feel successful.” School and self-worth Depression can manifest in different ways: - Appearing sad or irritable - Trouble sleeping - Losing interest in things you once enjoyed  - Being tired all the time - Gaining or losing a lot of weight But at its root are feelings of hopelessness and low self-worth. Studies show that for kids with learning disorders, the school environment can contribute to and breed these feelings. A child with an undiagnosed learning disability is particularly at risk for depression because they don’t understand why they struggle with things that others don’t. Frustration and failure create a sense that something must be wrong with them. A diagnosis can be reassuring and offer them the support they need — but success will still be a struggle. When it comes to a child’s emotions, an LD diagnosis is not a magic bullet. ??“It doesn’t always feel better right away,” notes Helene Omansky, LCSW, a senior social worker at the Child Mind Institute. “It will get better, but newly diagnosed kids need time to adjust to their support system, and to develop confidence in skills that they may have lacked.” If you think your child might be depressed, consult a medical professional for help — but know there are ways parents and teachers can offer support, too. Academic challenges get tougher The requirements of school change as you get older, and there’s one shift that can be particularly tough for kids, especially those with reading and language deficits. “From kindergarten through second grade, you’re learning how to read,” Dr. Phillips explains. “By third grade, the emphasis shifts to reading to learn.” In other words, reading becomes incorporated into every class. Kids who struggled in language arts classes but prided themselves on their math skills are suddenly confronted with math word problems. “And then they lose that confidence in the thing that might’ve been maintaining their sense of self and self-esteem,” Dr. Phillips explains. This change is the first of many. Kids will continue to wrestle with their challenges in unexpected ways, and this can be discouraging. “The impact of a learning disorder becomes more widespread as you move through school,” Dr. Phillips says. It’s important for parents to understand the depth of frustration a child may be feeling and acknowledge it, says Omansky. We’re naturally inclined to dispel negativity with encouragement — “You’re so smart!” — but this can make a child feel isolated and unheard. If a child is saying they feel dumb because they can’t figure out how to solve a word problem, Omansky says, “It’s okay to validate that by saying something like, ‘I can see how frustrating this is for you.’” Comparisons with peers Around 8 or 9 years old, kids become less self-focused and begin to understand themselves in the context of — and in comparison, to — their peers. Where before school was merely frustrating, now kids may wonder why certain things appear to come easily to others. They may feel like they’re working twice as hard as those around them, and understandably, they may think this is unfair. Kids also become more self-conscious at this age and might feel like their deficits are on display. This can look like a kid who doesn’t want to raise their hand in class, but it can also look like a kid who plays by themselves at recess. When a child can’t solve a math problem or gets called out for not finishing an assignment, it’s easy for them to go from “I feel dumb” to “Nobody is going to like me,” Omansky notes. Kids with learning challenges can also struggle with social skills, such as following the thread of a conversation or finding the right words to respond. They sometimes fumble social cues, and given enough negative feedback, might avoid socializing altogether. Some kids draw attention away from their challenges by acting out. Being perceived as funny or rebellious might even bolster your self-esteem. But avoiding your challenges doesn’t make you feel any better about them, it just makes you more determined to hide them. Hiding the signs Rates of learning disorders are not significantly different among genders, but boys are more likely to be diagnosed because of their tendency to be disruptive in class — an obvious red flag. Girls, meanwhile, tend to withdraw, making identification harder. “Girls are much more likely to quietly sit in the back of the class and try to sink into the ground,” Dr. Phillips says. This translates to girls not receiving a learning disorder diagnosis or being diagnosed late. When LDs are overlooked, a child’s anxiety or depression can be the first recognized signs that they need help. “They might become highly anxious or more academically demoralized,” says Dr Phillips. “So, it might be the anxiety or depression that first brings them to clinical attention.” It’s important for adults to empathize with this experience, too. “Well-intended parents and teachers don’t want to put a spotlight on a kid unnecessarily, but they may not be asking the right questions that would allow for further intervention or exploration,” says Omansky. When a child is anxious, unmotivated, or depressed, the adults in their lives should investigate if they might be struggling, she adds. “Kids don’t always have the skillset to know how to self-advocate and say, ‘I don’t understand.’” A vicious cycle — how depression impacts learning Depression can actually impact cognitive functions, making learning challenges more acute. Research shows that depression can: - Slow information processing - Slow memory consolidation, or how your brain transforms the things you learn into long-term memories - Make it harder to pay attention and concentrate - Interfere with sleep, which can also be bad for your brain It’s a vicious cycle — learning challenges contributing to depression, contributing to more challenges — but there are ways to interrupt it. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Classroom safety How a child relates to their school environment can also affect how they learn and how they see themselves. This is a particularly important factor for Black children and other children of color, especially if they attend predominantly white schools. “If there’s a difference in skin color between kids and their teachers, they might enter the classroom with a different level of anxious arousal that they have to overcome in order to be fully engaged,” Dr. Phillips says. If the school environment already makes you anxious, you’re more likely to shut down if learning is also a challenge. You might even develop a fear of going to school at all. Teachers should be aware that kids don’t experience school in a vacuum. They should understand the racial, cultural, demographic factors that impact kids, so kids feel safe enough to learn and ask for help if they need it. Combining academic and emotional supports Schools are beginning to embrace emotional supports for children with learning disorders. When kids feel defeated by their challenges, and resist learning because it makes them feel bad about themselves, academic support alone is not enough. Increasingly, schools are using  social and emotional learning (SEL) techniques to help kids develop an awareness of the emotions that drive their behaviors — whether they are acting out, trying to disappear, or simply avoiding the tasks that are most difficult for them. Kids can be taught strategies to manage big emotions around learning. Take kids with math learning disorders, who become anxious when asked to solve math problems. They tend to engage in negative self-talk — “I’m so bad at math. I’m going to fail this math test. I’m so stupid, I’m not going to get into college.” The negative self-talk interferes with problem solving. “It taxes your working memory to the point where you can’t effectively problem solve,” explains Dr. Phillips. “So, you do poorly and then you see yourself as a bad math student.” But kids can interrupt the cycle with a simple trick: saying the steps of the math problem as they do them. “If you’re verbally working through the steps, you can’t engage in negative self-talk and so you can’t tax the working memory system,” she adds.  “It’s very effective.” The ability to embrace this kind of creative problem-solving is the secret weapon of having a learning disorder — but when a child shows signs of depression, it’s important to seek professional treatment. Understanding that emotional challenges and learning challenges are intertwined can help parents get kids the support they need. Read the full article

[bandofchimeras]

hey dude, sorry not trying to be an ass w this but I saw u had a post where in the tags you used delusional and narcissist as pretty derogatory insults towards the govt. Bashing the government is good and great but using terms that we (at least currently) need to describe mental illness (and definitely associate with it!)... in ways like that... its ableist and dehumanizing and leads to more abuse, even if it feels innocent, because if everyone who's a narc or who's delusional is dangerous....that's everyone w/ npd, or a schizospec disorder, or any other things.

Sorry this is long, and again, not trying to be rude! Just wanted to inform you and ask that you maybe be a little more careful with word choice in the future :)

hey anon, yeah thanks for your concern. I do understand the movement to change language usage around mental illness and destigmatize. And it is well intentioned.

Unfortunately, narcissistic and delusional are still pretty generally derogatory words. A person with NPD may not cause harm simply by virtue of having the diagnosis but we all agree narcissism itself isn't a fun cool trait to have. Delusions are obscurations of reality.

We still say manic, depressed, obsessive, etc in both outright negative ways and descriptive but not morally loaded ways. to me it's just part of language, and the ethics of most derogatory language does depend on who's using it.

I'm absolutely behind not calling everyone who sucks a narcissist. and would like people to stop saying "I'm being OCD" or "that's so bipolar," "he's a schizo" and so on. The "delulu" trend online is weird and fetishizes mentally ill people.

For context: I am a person with a narcissistic tendency, due to my childhood. My life has been a long train of psych symptoms... delusions of grandeur, maladaptive daydreaming, hallucinations, psychosis, derealization, depersonalization, dissociative identity states. psychology is one of my longest hyperfixations simply because I needed to understand my experience. it's been helpful and unhelpful in different ways. Pathologization is a phenomen that can't be understood separately from language, culture, history, and violence.

And yet I don't really have a problem with calling things crazy, insane, or batshit. in fact I find power in redefining and playing with these terms. I've been called crazy in a demeaning, invalidating way. And yeah, I'm a lil crizazy, a bit unhinged one might say. But if a motherfucker calls me crazy to invaldiate my argument, I instantly know they've lost. They're being weak, and abusive. It will also piss me the fuck off. I may want to show them what "crazy" looks like. The better angels of my nature will whisper "keep your head."

With the movement to neutralize mental health terms, what's always confused me is the understanding of language itself. I experience words autistically - they have multiple overlapping meanings all the time. Words are like composite images composed of billions of instances of use, fluttering and evolving as they are spoken and written. Vernacular is messy, sputtering and ever changing. Therefore words carry a multitude of connotations. When different people say them in different contexts you can see and hear different implications.

So, I really don't care if a dude at work says "that's fuckin insane bro" ...to a gnarly kickflip. Or a devastating news article. Insane delineates the magnitude of his emotion. It's out of bounds. Something normies and straights would try to contain, institutionalize, label. Christ, that's juicy. It's why I adore skater boy lingo and teen slang. It's careless and crunchy.

English itself, especially corporate and institutional English, can be a strict, bland, and often abusive language. My fellow autistic homies tend to enjoy a rousing jaunt down into the annals of historical parlance for our everyday linguistic transactions because it's fucking boring, the clinical way we are expected to speak here and now.

So therefore: thanks for your message calling attention to my words and their impact.

There are deeper better more poetic words to call the government and frankly I believe the best ones might be found in other languages.

All in all, you're right that "narcissistic" and "delusional" are not the most accurate, potent words to describe the US government. How to convey the twisted, detached from reality, spirit of that entity best in language, though, I need to expand the lexicon. Maybe using these words is cheap. Maybe it covers over the intentionality and corruption at play.

So I'm going to open this up to some language play - and ask you, anon, and anyone else what words can we find to convey the negative meaning of delusional (detached from truth) and narcissistic (inverted and self concerned to the point of dysfunction), in English? or in another language?

I hope you can take this in good faith not as a deflection but really engaging with your ask.

Being language corrected can trigger my harshest defenses. I can feel in my body all the times someone has punished, invalidated, dismissed something I've said because of using "uncivil" or foul or imperfect language. In general, trying to conform to correct ideological forms of language is like, major wretched, dude.

Hell my dorky ass disingenuous nerd of a brother yesterday called a message I sent the family group chat about Palestine "blasphemous" because I said " my god" and used it as an excuse to delete every impassioned exchange we had so the "children wouldn't see," - him be racist, cough. can't make this shit up.

But that's my background. Catholicism is a mental illness. (Sorry in advance to all mental illness havers for associating you with Catholics)

[artsofdream]

Benefits of Traveling for Mental Health

Have you ever returned from a trip feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the world? If so, you’re not alone. Traveling has long been known to have a positive impact on our mental health, and for good reason. In this article, we’ll explore some of the key ways that travel can benefit your mental well-being, and offer some tips for making the most of your next trip.

Reduced stress and anxiety:-

One of the most significant benefits of travel is its ability to reduce stress and anxiety. When we travel, we often break free from our daily routines and responsibilities, giving ourselves permission to relax and unwind. This can help lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can contribute to a range of negative health outcomes if left unchecked. 

In addition, travel can help to break the cycle of rumination that often accompanies stress and anxiety. When we’re in a new environment, we’re forced to pay attention to our surroundings and engage with the world around us. This can help to shift our focus away from our worries and towards the present moment, which can be a powerful tool for managing stress and anxiety. 

Improved mood and happiness:-

 Another major benefit of travel is its ability to boost mood and happiness. Studies have shown that people who take vacations tend to be happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who don’t. This is likely due in part to the fact that travel allows us to experience new things, meet new people, and create positive memories. 

Travel can provide a sense of perspective that can help to put our problems into context. When we see how other people live, work, and play, we may appreciate our lives more fully. This can lead to a greater sense of gratitude and contentment, improving our overall well-being.

Increased creativity and inspiration:-

For many people, travel is a powerful source of creativity and inspiration. When we expose ourselves to new sights, sounds, and experiences, we may find ourselves inspired to create art, music, or writing. In addition, travel can help to break us out of creative ruts by providing a change of scenery and a fresh perspective.

Greater resilience and adaptability:-

Travel can also help to build resilience and adaptability, two key skills that are important for maintaining good mental health. When we travel, we’re often faced with unexpected challenges, whether it’s a missed flight, a language barrier, or a change in plans. Learning to navigate these challenges can help us to become more flexible and adaptable, which can be a valuable asset in all areas of life. In addition, travel can help to build resilience by exposing us to different ways of thinking and living. When we see how other people cope with adversity, we may gain new insights into our own struggles and find new ways to overcome them.

Enhanced cognitive function:-

Finally, travel can have a positive impact on cognitive function. Studies have shown that exposure to new and challenging environments can help to stimulate the brain and enhance cognitive abilities. In addition, travel can help to promote learning and memory by exposing us to new information

Final Thought:-

Don’t hesitate to seek support if you require it during your travels. You can talk to a trusted friend or family member, seek out a therapist or mental health professional, or simply take some time to journal or meditate each day. By prioritizing your mental health while on the road, there are numerous ways to ensure that you make the most of your travel experience. You will come back feeling rejuvenated, refreshed, and prepared to take on the world.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.

- Ernest Hemingway

Perhaps the most influential person in piquing international interest in Spain’s rich tradition of bullfighting was Nobel Prize-winning author Ernest Hemingway. Experts have said that his first published novel, The Sun Also Rises, was responsible for turning the festival of San Fermín and its iconic running of the bulls from a relatively obscure local affair in Pamplona to a worldwide sensation. Naturally, several Spanish cities have streets named after him or statues in his honor.

Hemingway discovered a passion for bullfighting in Spain in his early 20s that stayed with him his entire life. When he took his own life in 1961, after battling physical and mental health issues for many years, tickets for an upcoming bullfight were found in his home.

The Sun Also Rises is loaded with bullfighting symbolism, arguably more than any of his other work, unless you consider the underlying philosophy of his nonfiction work, Death in the Afternoon, which has come to be called the bullfighting bible thanks to its detailed and dynamic descriptions of bullfights and all the associated ritual and culture.

In this novel, set in Spain in the 1920s, bullfighting is frequently and profoundly used as a symbol of masculinity, passion, and the inevitable destruction that accompanies love and sex. The young adult characters, part of the so-called Lost Generation, are mesmerized by the bravery, skill and honor that are the foundations of a good fight, having become cynical about these qualities outside the ring. When you read how Hemingway describes each bullfight, the language used is often quite sexual and mirrors the stages of an intimate encounter, involving seduction, manipulation, and finally, penetration as the matador slays the bull with his sword.

Another element of bullfighting symbolism involves the fickleness of love, which is personified by Brett’s constantly running from lover to lover, and also by retired matador Belmonte swiftly falling out of favor with the crowds as soon as something newer and better comes along: the young matador, Romero.

In the early 1920s, Hemingway and his first wife, Hadley Richardson, moved to Paris, where he met several great contemporary writers, among them Gertrude Stein. She was the one who recommended that he change from journalism to fiction writing, and, importantly, that he take a trip to see bullfighting in Spain.

He followed her advice in 1923, when he witnessed the running of the bulls and the afternoon bullfights of San Fermín. He later recounted, “The only place where you could see life and death, i.e., violent death now that the wars were over, was in the bull ring and I wanted very much to go to Spain where I could study it. I was trying to learn to write, commencing with the simplest things, and one of the simplest things of all and the most fundamental is violent death.”

At one point later in his life, he claimed to have seen some 1500 bulls killed in the area and read through over 2000 books and pamphlets in Spanish related to the world of bullfighting. It is safe to say, then, that Ernest Hemingway was a life-long aficionado who was dismissive of those who condemned the alleged barbarity of the sport, He retorted to critics, “Anything capable of arousing passion in its favor will surely raise as much passion against it.” He also expressed a desire for opponents of the sport to mind their own business, essentially being of the opinion that, if you don’t like the fights, don’t watch them.“

[sn4kep1t]

solo / LXXXVIII

CONTENT WARNINGS:

the following content contains allusions to, mentions of, or mentions non-graphic examples of: homelessness, emotional/psychological abuse, anti-lgbtq discrimination, gender dysphoria, and severe depressive episodes as well as other examples of severe mental health symptoms. viewer discretion is advised.

if you entered the front door of the high school and immediately hung a right, you'd be walking down the hall to one of the auditorium's entrances-- specifically, the entrance to the orchestra pit. the piano was often brought between here and the practice room depending on the season. it was always scarier to play with a risk of someone hearing from afar, but that fear only followed akira through his freshman and sophomore years. there was no longer any regard for whoever ended up hearing viper's practice by the time he was in his senior year, oftentimes skipping classes just to play in the empty auditorium.

it was his only reprieve, after all. it was the only time he wasn't seen as the stinking hobo of his graduating class, nor the spastic weirdo, nor the potential violent criminal... hell, he loved the fact that a piano had its own voice so he wouldn't immediately be thought of by staff or strangers as the wrong gender entirely.

yes, the piano has its own voice. what a pianist brings is not a voice, but a stunning performance with that perfect tone at their disposal. expression never need lie in the notation alone when it came to a song. it's why even a performance of a funeral dirge, a swan song, a final musical farewell can be played in such a way that it's no longer so melancholy.

instead, it's furious and defiant.

dies iræ, dies illa solvet sæclum in favilla.

even after school ended, he'd often stay with the piano. oh, his parents had one at home, but he could never get a note in edgewise. the second he made a mistake, he had someone over his shoulder telling him every reason he fucked it all up.

"you're playing too loud. i can't hear the TV. yes, the news is more important than your bullshit." "why'd you cut your hair again? i can see it when you're sitting with your back to me like that. why'd you cut your hair again, huh?" "you need to hang around better people. i've set you up on a date with my coworker's son, and you are not going to make me look bad." "not this fucking shit again. you fucking listen, if you don't--"

"you hit another wrong note again. why even try? you won't be good enough to get on TV with it."

oh, how he loved to play at school. how he loved being able to take to the bench and, for once, uninterrupted, uninhibited and freely,

he could scream through his hands.

whatever song he played didn't matter. whatever sheets he had, be they classical pieces or sheet music for songs he'd heard off video game soundtracks, he'd bring an energy that showed the anger he harbored within.

crying himself to sleep the night before, viper's fingers hammered each key with force he couldn't bring to his words. swallowing his resentment from how he had to buy and make his own dinner far before moving out of his parents' house, even a waltz felt foreboding and imminent.

he knew his more profitable skill was strength. he knew it was more reliable, as well, and easier to ensure constant practice with. but he learned very fast that violence was a language spoken only in appropriate forums, under circumstances dictated by arbitrary laws of supposed decency-- he couldn't scream with his fists like he could with his fingers.

he missed being able to scream. he missed his voice. with it finally in his hands again, it was hard for viper to hold back tears when he could play a simple chord again after so much time and so much progress. he worried for a moment that it wouldn't feel as good to 'scream' as he used to, that all the rage had passed. there was no fire of defiance within him any longer. there was acceptance, and surely nothing else.

even so, he can feel it now as he continues his feverish practice with quite the dramatic step up in quality since his first time expressing himself for so long. he can feel the fire coming back. he can feel the screams, directed by his fingers, wailing from each string struck by the hammer; he could hear his screams, but instead of lamentations, there was now a triumphant, hoarse laugh. a victorious laugh.

with 88 keys, he could laugh in the face of every obstacle that tried to block him from this bright future. he could do it just like he'd begged for something better with the same tools before.