#see i can enjoy matteo dynamics

[dracosbabygirl8]

TWIN

Theodore Nott x reader!Matteo Riddle’s twin sister - PART 2

Summary : in which Theodore Nott develops a forbidden crush on his twin sister's best friend in three situations (inspired by this tiktok)

Warning : toxic siblings relationship, mention of alcool and smoke (lmk if i missed any)

n/a : it's my very first writing, and I'm soooo nervous to post it!! and i also questioned myself if i had to provide a better ending. i just love the suspens and the tension in this one, but if you wanted more details about what private place you go, just let me know, and i’ll add it in the second part (yeah, it's already in the works). hope you enjoy

As Mattheo Riddle's twin sister, navigating daily life isn't a walk in the park. While he can be an incredible brother, showering you with everything you desire and providing unwavering comfort in times of distress, his overprotective nature poses a challenge. No one dares to approach you as he harbors a deep distrust, particularly towards men.

You're in the slytherin common room, casually hanging out with Pansy, Enzo and Blaise when Theo, Matteo, and Draco join you after their weekly quidditch training.

As soon as Matteo enters, he lightly taps your shoulder, which is touching Enzo's shoulder due to the smallness of the sofa you're seated on « hey more space, shawty » he remarks. You chuckle and roll your eyes, finding him quite ridiculous, but you oblige, shifting forward to avoid bothering your brother, who seems to be in a delighted mood, likely due to their quidditch win against ravenclaw.

Draco wanted to teases him a bit « let her breathe mate, she needs to experiment yk, have a boyfriend, etc » he says while lighting a cigarette. « Oh, i had a boyfriend once » you share with a mischievous glint in your eyes. Blaise jumps in with curiosity « and... how did it end? ».

You turn your head, your eyes narrowing as you fix a deep, playful stare on Matteo, your tongue rolling on your cheeks « and…he broke his jaw ». Laughter ripples through everyone, and amidst the chuckles, you catch a faint « that was predictable » from Theo, who observing the dynamic between you and your twin brother, shoots you an amused look, recognizing the subtle nuances in your expressions. Undeterred, you retort « yeah, but we were 11... » casting a mischievous glance at Matteo, who now sports a proud, devilish smile, you add « poor Craig... » in a hushed whisper, you shake your head in a sorry way before erupting into laughter with the others.

•••

You take place in the Great Hall patiently awaiting Matteo’s return from detention, you focus on a parchment resting on your lap. Meanwhile, Theo enter the Great Hall either, he see you, lonely sitting, while reading your parchment. Pretty as always, distinguished as always, like you were out from a fairytale.

He approach you confidently. You feel his intense gaze, accompanied by the wisps of smoke from his cigarette. « may i join? » you just replies with a light « sure » he take place next to you, dangerously close. « What are you doing here? » he attempts to start a conversation « uh- just waiting for Mattie to get out of detention. I had to give him my notes from potions before his quidditch training, n’you? » you answer. « Waiting for him to go to quidditch training » he replies, smiling lightly. « Is it your notes? » he points to your parchment, and you nod. He moves a bit closer, your knees now touching. « You’ve beautiful handwriting » he says while leaning, his words dancing tantalizingly close to your cheeks, the warmth of his breath and the alluring blend of his cologne and cigarette teasing your senses, sending shivers down your spine.

You turn your head towards Theo, faces remarkably close, and you find yourself lost in his deep green eyes. However, as you spot Matteo descending the stairs in the background, you swiftly step back on the bench in a heartbeat, creating a more formal distance between you and Theo.

« What are you two doing here? » Matteo inquires, reaching an eyebrow as he approches. « We were just waiting for you. I wanted to give you this since you overslept this morning, it's the notes from the potion class that you missed » you explain while handing him your parchment, Matteo expresses his gratitude by offering a light embrace and kissing your forehead.

« Here we go, mate, we'll be late for the match, i have to change » he says to Theo, already hurrying off and heads towards the stairs.

Before following him, Theo stands up and suggests « yk i think we should go out together sometime » looking down on you. Lifting your face towards him, you internally question if you heard him correctly « no- i mean, i don’t date my brother friend’s- sorry » you respond with a light smile, wondering if it might be a stupid test orchestrated by Matteo. « Oh that’s suck- i guess i should have kicked his ass then » he replies with a smirk on his face, stubbing out his cigarette and abruptly start to walk, leaving you alone with your heart racing dangerously fast.

•••

Pansy informs you that Draco will be hosting a party in the slytherin common room tonight. Despite being aware that it will undoubtedly irk your dear brother, you are determined to attend the party. You begin preparing yourself, opting for a subtle makeup look, donning earrings, and choosing a dress that strikes a balance between not being too provocative yet clearly not formal, for the occasion.

As you walk through the corridor, the booming music and lively cheers signal that the party is in full swing already. You're well aware that your brother — likely already drunk or high, or both — is somewhere amidst the revelry. A slight unease settles in; you know how unpredictable he can be, especially if he's not in the mood or if someone approaches too closely. Despite this, you muster a resolve, telling yourself « no- not tonight »trying to convince yourself and boost your confidence, you repeat silently « i’m an adult, capable of making my own decisions ».

As you make your entrance, you subtly scan the crowded room to locate your brother, intending to steer clear of him as much as possible, « the magic trick is to avoid eye contact » Pansy says with a chuckle, guiding you to move in the opposite direction of Matteo and his friends — who are, incidentally, your friends as well — are seated.

As you approach the table to grab a drink in a green goblet, the sensation of numerous eyes on you is palpable. Engaging in conversation with fellow girls students, you gradually find your way to the dance floor, feeling a bit tipsy. Joining Pansy, fully immersed in the beat, you begin to sway your hips to the rhythm, surrounded by other drunk students from various houses. You’re suddenly yanked by the wrist, and a familiar voice demands, « what tf are you doing here? » you sigh; facing this situation was inevitable, knowing he would spot you eventually. « Well, i was just yearning for a generous dose of infantilization from my dear twin brother, so naturally, i found the prime spot for it. Thrilled to see you here too » you retort, rolling your eyes. He doesn't bother responding, guiding you towards the group seated on the couch. He turns to face you, raising an eyebrow, poised to question you once again, « just here to enjoy the party, same as you » you reply after a sigh « stop treating me like a fucking child, can you ? » you add. He settles into a seat, commanding « fine, stay next to me then. I didn't like the way they all dance around you » with a resigned sigh, you lower yourself onto the sofa, a tinge of disappointment lingering. Positioned between Matteo and Theo, you observe Draco, Blaise, and Enzo engrossed in a spirited debate on who is the sexier girl at this party while sipping on their whiskies.

« What a way to enjoy a party » you whisper between your teeth, arms crossed. Theo ear you and chuckles, « want to try it? » he hands you a blunt. Smoking is nothing new to you, and he knows that. You indulge in cigarettes daily and experiment with weed during parties surprisingly receiving Matteo's approval. You accept, take the blunt and muttering a quick « thank you » to him. As you savor the hits from the loaded blunt, the smoke lingering in the air, you immerse yourself in a conversation with Theodore.

Despite finding him very attractive, you haven't talked with him much, especially one-on-one. Unsure if it's because he doesn't like you (or quite the opposite) or if you lack the courage to talk with your brother's best mate, whom you've secretly fancied for so long.

The conversation delves into things and other, drifting effortlessly from one subject to another, punctuated by shared laughter at his jokes and reciprocal smiles. Suddenly, he says « uh- you’ve got a bit of lipstick—just right here », he point out the corner of your mouth. Embarrassment flushes your cheeks, and as you reach to wipe it off, he leans in, his thumb brushing the side of your mouth, « and there you go » he says, offering a smile. You feels your ear and your cheeks burn from his move and his smile. You smile him back. Unbeknownst to you, the entire scene unfolds before Matteo, who abruptly crashes onto the sofa between you two, declaring, « fine, enough conversation » while death staring at Theo.

A sigh escapes you, it's incredible how your brother manages to disrupt everything. Irritation seeps in as you become increasingly bored. Rising from the sofa, you announce « i’m a bit sleepy, guys, i'll head back to my dorm, g’night ». They wish you a restful sleep, and as you stand up, Matteo asks, « do you need me to accompany you until your door? » secretly hoping Theo would offer, you respond, « no, it's okay, i’ll find my way, don't worry ». Taking your time to bid farewell to friends, you discreetly search for Pansy to tell her about your quick interaction with Theo. When you can’t find her you leave the room in direction of your dorm.

During this time, Theo replays every moment of your conversation in his mind—the brightness of your laughter at his silly remarks, the way your hair cascades perfectly over your face, and the sensation of your warm skin against his fingertips. Lost in these thoughts, he stands up abruptly, stating, « uh- i’ll grab a pack of cigarettes from my dorm » and departs without waiting for the group’s reaction.

As he exits the common room, instead of heading to his dorm, he veers towards yours, hoping to run into you in the corridor. « Already heading to bed? » you inquire upon recognizing Theodore's silhouette in the darkness « uh- yeah, not really. Actually, I was searching for a pack of cigarettes in my dorm » he answers a bit surprised. « Isn't your dorm in the opposite direction? » you respond, a hint of doubt in your voice « hm yeah, you get a point. Tbh, i was searching for you » he admits with an embarrassed smile while scratching the back of his head, in the dimly lit corridor, you look at him a bit confused, he step forward and confesses « i guess we didn’t finish our conversation earlier ».

Seated on the corridor floor, you share deep conversations and cigarettes together. During a comfortable silence, Theo inquires « isn't it annoying to have Matteo as a brother? » while staring at the wall in front of you. « Oh, definitely! He's nice and all, but he tend to put a damper on my freedom. There are plenty of things that i want to do, but he doesn't allow me... » you share, exhaling a puff of smoke, « and if he stopped preventing you from everything, what's the first thing you'd do? » Theo locks eyes with you, his gaze intense and unwavering. You lock eyes with him, torn between sharing the genuine answer or letting it linger unspoken. As the alcohol and weed take hold, you consider whether to reveal the truth. Summoning by a burst of courage, you smirk lightly and say « this... » before crashing your lips onto his. Your arms wrap around his neck, he kisses you back instantly, placing his hand on your waist and deepening the kiss. Seconds pass in this intoxicating embrace before you separate to catch your breath.

« Are we waiting here for your brother, or should we find a more private place? » he inquire with a husky voice and a smirk on his face, the lingering warmth of the kiss still palpable.

masterlist

[evakuality]

4 years of Druck s3 - week 7

Things of note in this episode:

1.  This is probably my favourite episode and so this is likely to be lengthy!

2.  I really love how this conversation with Hans differs from the og.  In a lot of ways I prefer this one, unlike the one in episode 5.  In this, first, Matteo says ‘if it makes you happy’ he’ll call him his guru and I love that change in the dynamic.  Plus, I really do love that Hans is attuned enough to religion that he takes Matteo into church to have this conversation (and so Matteo’s mother does in a way see him in church that day).  I think it’s very important that a lot of Matteo’s issues about all this stem from religion and so taking him into a place of religion to demystify it is so important.  Also, Hans’s advice about David isn’t that he’s probably playing Matteo (as Eskild suggests to Isak), but that he’s probably not out and needs time and respect for that or to be left alone.  It resonates in a different way, and the fact that this religious breakthrough happens at Easter is a really lovely touch.  Plus we get the whole bit about Matteo’s mother, and he’s able to come to terms with her and her issues in a way that leaves him much calmer and more at peace.  Compare the above picture to this one from the start of the episode:

This earlier Matteo was so sad and he was at seas and all confused.  But at least he knew that going to Hans would help - and was able to do it even when Hans had been so upset with him before.  And kudos to Hans for seeing past all that and recognising that Matteo genuinely does need a gay guru and being that person for him.  This conversation has done exactly what Matteo needed it to and he’s so much happier and more at ease both with the David thing and with his mother.  

3.  Speaking of religion, this whole bit with Amira is a) so lovely and b) so important.  After their previous discussion, this has needed to be addressed and she does it in such a gracious way - which he returns.  I do think that without the chat with Hans he may have been less keen to hear what Islam thinks about homosexuality but together these two conversations have really helped him unpack some of his prejudices about religion, and he is far more willing and able to open up to hi9s mother with the hope that she won’t reject him.  I absolutely love that ‘for Easter’ Amira’s family has made some food to share, thus showing Matteo that religion can be open and accepting of other faiths, cultures and lifestyles.  Amira doesn’t just tell him she and her religion accept him, she shows him and it’s very powerful.  Even if her bringing outside food into a cafe worries me, since you’re absolutely not allowed to do it here.

4.  I really love the colours in this episode - they’re so much warmer and more cheerful than the previous ones.  Partly that’s because this was Easter and the colours work really well for that time of year.  But also because Matteo is starting to warm up and open up into his new self.  I am, once again, so impressed by the way light and colour is used in this show.  It’s just soooo goooooood.

I also love how much Carlos has grown - Kiki has such strong views and she wants everyone to agree with them.  In a lot of her life, people just don’t (I imagine Zoe must be such a stress for her, for example), but Carlos, who has been shown as a bit of a lad and quite ignorant and occasionally offensive, has taken it all on board and you can see it in the way he acts and the things he says now.  He enjoys his new knowledge and certainly has a lot of sensitivity to people and their relationships.  He’s the one who knew things were off with Matteo and Sara, and he’s the one who moves to listen actively to Matteo here and who says things he hopes are supportive and encouraging.

5.  Sara.  This poor kid.  We see here the culmination of everything that’s been going wrong in her life and it must have been so hard seeing Matteo in the midst of all this.  But I like to think that she feels lighter and happier after this is done.  We do know what she reaches out to Leonie after Matteo suggests that talking to people helps.  If we compare this picture of her to the way she was shown in s1 and even 2, she’s so diminished, shot from above and looks so weak and vulnerable.  Even compared to the social media post she made wearing this exact outfit, she looks different.  But it’s maybe like a wound being lanced - like Matteo she was trying to put up a facade, live a fake life in that earlier post.  But now she’s able to be real and yeah that hurts but it’s better and they will both be able to move on and be happier more authentic people in the aftermath.

6.  Speaking of hurting - Matteo makes so much great progress this episode and he’s able to become a happier and more settled person.  But at the core is this boy who misses the boy he thought he was creating something nice with.  He told Hans he ‘can’t believe’ that David doesn’t want him and I think that makes this even harder.  The pictures and videos David sends are sending him mixed messages.  On one hand, he’s keeping up the contact and trying to maintain something with Matteo - on the other, this stuff is all ‘it’s not you it’s me’ ‘in a different life we’d be in Detroit’ etc etc.  There’s no hint that things can be ‘real’ between them in this life and so Matteo keeps having these small moments of sadness throughout the episode.

7.  And so that’s why this whole part is tinged with a melancholy.  Unlike in other versions, there’s no passion here, no ‘throwing caution to the wind’ or anything.  Instead it’s so gentle and cautious, so fragile.  There’s a sigh of relief that David is here, but neither of them is at ease.  Of course, we start to understand David’s thing the next day.  But even here it’s so clear why Matteo feels the way he does - everything since David told him he’s not into him has been such a rollercoaster that it’s not possible for him to throw caution to the wind.  He’s felt so much sadness and heartbreak about David even this week that he can’t allow himself to fully dive into this moment.  And of course we’re left with this shot of David’s face and we get to see that he’s not happy either.  It’s a long long few hours til the next morning and David’s secret!

[putonmyfavoriteshow]

I only got thru one episode tonight for my SL rewatch but here were some sizzling hot takes on 1x06:

Gastón is so much more mischievous than I remember. He really loves to goof around with Matteo in s1. But I do love their friendship even when they're being so dumb.

Gastina meetcute is adorable. I love how he talks a mile a minute about the book she's reading while she doesn't say a word until the very last second lol.

I had 0 recollection of Nina's reporter job on Fab & Chic but it was fun to see her go up against them to uncover the truth (Foreshadow s2 Detective!Nina). Ámbar/Nina standoff was a great moment I didn't recall. They are the smartest ladies in the bunch so it's nice when that concept is utilized.

Yam is even gayer than I remembered and I already thought she was madly in love with Jim but wow she doesn't give Ramiro a second thought she's just worried Jim paired up with Nico without telling her

I love Luna & Simón so much. Every scene they have gives me the serotonin I need to get through life. I knew they were my favorites in s1A but it's really hitting me all over again why I loved them so much.

Simón being so happy about his choice to come to BA! Look at him! Joining the band! Making Luna smile! MY GUY!

I will always give it to Mambar for being THAT pair. I love how they always perform like a camera is on them lmao

[hallaevak]

evaks & their heights

ok, so we all kind of think of isak as this small baby boy compared to even, the giant. i was curious to see how each remake invisioned evak & their physical dynamic (by that i mean height). so i made a fancy chart. enjoy!

i could not, for the life of me, find lucas vdh/florian regtien’s (skam nl) height. yikes? anyways, enjoy. basically what this means is that henrik holm is 100% a giant and i never really realized how short lucas/robbe/shay were. this took a lot of time to research pls love me!

here are their heights, in feet because i am a stoopid american.

even - 6’3

eliott - 6’0

isak - 5’11.5

martino - 5’11

niccolo - 5’10.5

sander - 5’10

lucas r - 5’10

matteo - 5’9

joana - 5’8

david - 5’7.5

lucas l - 5’6.5

robbe - 5’6 *

cris - 5’5 *

shay - 5’2

*i had to estimate their heights by using reference pictures. it’s not the most accurate but what can ya do!

[engelkeijsers]

what are your top 5 skamverse friendships? also loved your answers to the other questions!!

thank you!! ❤

okay this is not gonna be easy, cause i'm a huge hoe for well written friendships but let's go!

1) martino and giovanni. who would have thought? not me! but for real,, i think they have the best isak x jonas dynamics (with druck and og being 2nd and 3rd on the podium) and i just love their relationship SO MUCH. i will actually write down all my feelings and what i think about them while i will be rewatching the italian remake (next weekend i think), so if you're curious why are they so special to me and want to see my point of view in a better light you will find out soon 😅❤

2) yasmina and zoë. this might come out as a surprise to some if not all people, because i almost never talk about my love for them as a friendship (idk why actually, but it's true). i just have an incredibly soft spot for these two; yasmina's reaction to zoë being sexually assaulted (girl was FURIOUS and that "i swear if he touched you-" i just love her so much guys), yasmina always being so gentle with zoë (especially when they talked about senne and zoë's inner conflict whether she should forgive him for the bottle 'incident'). they are soft for each other and i'm here for it

3) basile and arthur. kinda unexpected, but true. even tho i hated arthur's season with passion (especially the second half of it), i would be lying if i said i don't love the brotp between basile and arthur. i might even say his season was worth the suffering because at least i saw them being the dumb friends™. also,, basile's reaction when arthur came to him after he left home; hugging him and immediately giving him his jacket, not to mention borrowing him his clothes the next day and (kinda) standing up to his beloved girlfriend just to defend his best friend (which he didn't have to do at all, cause arthur was the one who completely fucked up). i am in love with them your honor

4) martino and sana. another one from skam italia, but i would say it deserves the spot (especially after season 4). i must say i wasn't fully convinced they were good friends after season two, but boy oh boy. season 4 bought me completely when it came to their friendship. again, i will say more while rewatching, but rn let me just say this: they are so good and gentle to each other and their personalities match so much, it's honestly incredible. still cannot believe s4 was real and not just a fever dream of mine

5) matteo and hanna. again, pretty unexpected coming from me. i loved their dymamics in every season i've seen, but i think they shined in season 3. i mean,, she left him a chocolate bunny saying he can always talk to her when he needs it 🥺 HOW CUTE IS THAT!!! they are definitely my favorite isak x eva friendship, even tho i really like eva with martino too. idk bro, matteo and hanna just hit different, you know. can't help but adore these two

thank you very much for this ask!! i really enjoyed answering it 💗

[lostinthewinterwood]

Heart Attack 2020

Hey friend!

Looks like you and I both like to write like the wind and suffer in the process, so without further ado, let’s go :D

Also, oops, my habit of procrastination has caught up with me… sorry about that!  Here’s a letter now at least…

   General DNW

non-con/dub-con;

explicit sexual content;

incest (incl. adoptive/chosen family);

a/b/o;

mpreg;

non-canonical permanent major character death;

complete downer endings;

hurt no comfort;

heavy angst;

on-page deliberate self-harm*;

on-page suicide;

gore;

graphic physical trauma;

character bashing;

cringe comedy;

fic-as-writer-soapbox;

fic that’s all about real-world bigotries or real-world politics;

canon-typical 2020;

unrequested full-setting AUs;

unrequested identity headcanons;

unrequested romance as the main plot.

*I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. However, something like cutting would not be appreciated.

 *****

General Likes

– I really like plotty fics

– Secret identity and disguise shenanigans, the more layers to them and more absurdity the better.

– Crossdressing for whatever reason and gender disguises, also for whatever reason, though not as a fetish thing—that I enjoy less.

– Time travel and time loops are always fun, especially as a fix-it.  I have a general preference for Peggy Sue style (aka, an older character getting put back in their younger body at an earlier point in the timeline) over the character’s physical body stepping back in time, but either one is good.

– A focus on family and/or friendship, especially characters realizing they’re not nearly as alone as they think they are, and just generally characters who like each other and enjoy spending time together

– Found family; families of choice

– Character studies

– Worldbuilding

– Canon-divergence AUs and missing scenes; things set pre- or post-canon; wriggling into canon and poking at it to see what it spits back at you, if that description makes any sense at all.

 ***** 

wherein i request a time-travel canon and mostly don't request time travelers [art and fic]

Mother of Learning - nobody103  

·        Alanic Zosk & Silverlake (Mother of Learning)

·        Zach Noveda & None (Mother of Learning)

·        Kirielle Kazinski & Zorian Kazinski (Mother of Learning)

·        Kirielle Kazinski & None (Mother of Learning)

·        Raynie & Kiana (Mother of Learning)

·        Neoluma-Manu Iljatir & Zach Noveda (Mother of Learning)

·        Alanic Zosk & Xvim Chao (Mother of Learning)

fandom-specific dnw: romantic and/or sexual Zach/Zorian; physical parental abuse within the Kazinski family; significant exaggeration of canonical emotional neglect/abuse/general family dysfunction

 Prompts:

If you want to write an AU, you can consider any AU requested for AUEx for Mother of Learning, as listed here, to be requested in this exchange as well, even if the requested characters aren’t requested there, as long as it isn’t written as purely mundane.

I’ve written a fair few Mother of Learning prompts already; if you want to see me going off more about things, especially for Kirielle, please see the Mother of Learning section of my Gen Freeform Ex letter here.  If you don’t want to click through, though, here’s a bit of things.  

 Kirielle, Kirielle & Zorian:

If you want to focus on Kirielle’s relationship with someone who isn’t Zorian, for Kirielle and Nochka, they’re adorable and I’d love a further development of their friendship, especially getting to see it grow and develop over the months and years after the invasion.  If you want to write about Kiri and Zach, these two seem to have a lot of fun teaming up against Zorian lol, I really enjoy their dynamic and how they play off each other.  For Kirielle and Zorian, I love their dynamic!  And again here I’d really enjoy seeing their relationship developing in real time, rather than a constantly looping world.  I think it would be great to see either of them defending the other to their parents—and maybe Zorian ends up with custody of Kiri, there’s definitely things to explore there.

For Kirielle by herself, I’d love some sort of character study—what does she do now that the time loop is over?  She’s growing up into a war; will she be a mage?  An artist?  Something else?  Alternatively—what if she got pulled into the loop; what would it be like to grow older while still looking nine?

 Zach, Zach & Neolu:

Assuming you don’t go for a setting AU, I’d generally prefer something set at least in part after the time loop begins, but beyond that I don’t have a strong preference for where in the timeline this might be set.  Maybe something from before Zorian got looped in—maybe one of the iterations where Zach and Neolu just went off across the country having fun the whole month? Zach doing whatever, possibly very early on, or maybe him freaking out a little because what the hell, time travel is supposed to be impossible, and yet—what did he do in the start?

Or for post-canon, I’d really like an exploration of Zach, who’s got the lived-time of a middle-aged man and the body of a teenager—how does he relate to his classmates/other people in the real world, where everyone’s growing again?  Maybe something about his lawsuit against his caretaker, or just a little thing with him, Zorian, and How Do You Live Normally, Again?  This Is Hard, or some such thing.

 Raynie & Kiana:

Me? Latching onto a minor character in a big sprawling canon? It’s more likely than you think!

Anyway I like Raynie a lot; we don’t get a whole lot on her, but what we do get paints her as someone who’s having a very interesting life of her own, utterly divorced from the timeloop shenanigans (except re: the shifter children thing).

I like her and Kiana’s friendship, too; I like how when we finally see more of them both we learn more about how they’re similar and different.

For specific prompts, if you want to go pre-canon I’d really love something with her initial going to Cyoria and how she befriended Kiana in the first place (or, perhaps more likely, how Kiana befriended her; I somehow doubt that Raynie age 13, recently semi-exiled from her tribe, was particularly in search of outsider friends).

For post-canon, really, anything dealing with the fallout of all the things that go down in the real world would be fantastic too.

 Alanic & Silverlake, Alanic & Xvim:

I’ve grouped these because they both have to do with Alanic, but really they’re not very similar prompts.

For Alanic and Silverlake I’d be very interested in something to do with Alanic’s backstory; Silverlake knew him as a young necromancer, so… what happened there?  How did they know each other?  Why was Alanic set on becoming a necromancer; clearly he got far enough to have soul sight himself—how’d he get that?  Why did he leave the necromancer’s path to become a priest?

For Alanic and Xvim, I dunno, this seemed fun?  They’re both part of the “annoying but ultimately helpful teacher” club to Zorian, and they get along well with each other—gonna admit I don’t fully remember what goes down for them in the final, real-world iteration, but.  They’re both a lot of fun and they play off each other well; just go wild here.  I’m down for it if you are.

 *****

 mostly found family and similar vibes here lbr [art and fic]

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)  

·        Cassandra & Varian (Disney: Tangled)

·        Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Red | Catalina (Disney: Tangled)

·        Angry | Keira & Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider (Disney: Tangled)

·        Cassandra & Red | Catalina (Disney: Tangled)

·        Cassandra & Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider (Disney: Tangled)

·        Angry | Keira & Red | Catalina & Lance Strongbow (Disney: Tangled)

·        Angry | Keira & Red | Catalina (Disney: Tangled)

fandom-specific notes: Cass's canonical injured hand/arm that canon just kind of... forgets about and doesn't ever address after it's introduced is totally fair game; I'd love something that addressed that, just nothing too graphic about the original injury please.  Dnw fic which explicitly breaks up Rapunzel/Eugene.

 Prompts:

So, overall, I just love this show a lot?  It’s just so wholesome and heartfelt and hopeful?  Anything you write which can grab that vibe I’ll probably enjoy tbh.

But! Onwards to specifics!

 Cass & Varian, Cass & Catalina, Cass & Eugene:

This is my “team betrayed Rapunzel and/or ill-advisedly trusted a blue spirit in the woods and/or died for her before being resurrected” group lol, and I’d love something that explores one of those things; canon gives us a little bit of that between Cass and Varian in the form of “Nothing Left to Lose,” but it doesn’t really address it after they’ve both found their way back; I’d love something post-canon for any of these pairs, after Cass has finally got her act together and they can start learning to deal with all of it.  Sharing their experiences!  Figuring out how to emotionally process the bad (or good-but-with-unfortunate-consequences-even-if-only-temporary) decisions you made!  I’m here for it.

 Eugene & Angry, Eugene & Catalina, Angry & Catalina, Angry & Catalina & Lance:

All the found family! If you’re just dealing with Angry and Catalina, I’d take anything at any point in the timeline tbh—how did they meet? When and how did they start thieving together?  What did they do between their major appearances in the show?  If you go post-canon—how do they work out their new lives with Lance?  They’ve been living on their own for at least two years, probably longer; how do they learn to let go and let someone else take care of them?  And for either (or both tbh) of them with Eugene—former child-thieves, reformed because of Rapunzel!  He doesn’t have any parental-style authority over them; how do they relate to him as opposed to Lance, in a post-canon world?

 *****

 superhero time babey [art and fic]

Secret Society of Second-Born Royals (2020) [SAFETY]  

·        Matteo & Roxana & Sam & Tuma (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        January & Matteo & Roxana & Tuma & Sam (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        Mike Kleinberg & Sam (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        Eleanor & None (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        Catherine & Eleanor & Sam (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        January & Sam (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        Eleanor & Sam (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

·        Worldbuilding & None (Secret Society of Second-Born Royals)

Fandom-specific dnw: January as purely, irredeemably evil; absolute monarchy as unambiguously purely good.

Fandom-specific note: since I’m directly asking for politics in the worldbuilding option, it would be a bit silly to fully dnw real-world politics in this real-world-adjacent setting. Don’t worry about referencing real politics if that’s where you go with your fic; however, I would rather any focused-on politics be filtered through the context of the fictional countries the film uses, and please don’t reference real-world American politics post-2015.  “unrequested full setting aus” dnw has been modified to “unrequested mundane aus” so if you want to, idk, put them in a fairytale au or a sports-but-still-have-powers au or something—go right ahead.

 Prompts:

So, I enjoyed this silly little movie quite a lot—the characters were a lot of fun!  I love them all!  I really mostly just want more of them tbh.  If you want an overarching theme—I would adore time travel here, even more than I normally do. Time loops especially are just… perfection.

 Matteo & Roxana & Sam & Tuma, January & Matteo & Roxana & Tuma & Sam:

Team fic! Team fic! Team fic!  For these two sets, I’d love something about the whole team—of course—doing team-y things. You could set it in the summer, before shit goes down in the climax; or you could set it after—they’re going after January, of course.  What happens when they finally catch up to her?  What do they do?  How do they all process the relevant emotions of having been betrayed?  Do we catch a redemption arc?

 Mike & Sam:

These two are such good friends!  I like their friendship a lot, and I’d love to see more of it.  Something fun would be pre-canon—how did they meet?  What led them to start their band?  How much traction does their band have, really? Or post-canon—even having forgiven her, it’s got to be a lot to deal with, your best friend turning out to not just be a princess, but a superhero princess, while you’re just… a groundskeeper’s son(?).

 Eleanor, Eleanor & Sam, Catherine & Eleanor & Sam:

Family times!  There’s a lot of tension and secrets here, have been for a long time; tell me how they come to deal with it all and learn to live with each other better than they have been before the film—or give me backstory! How did things end up spiraling this far down?

 January & Sam:

I’d love to have something dealing with January’s PoV on the events of the film, or Sam’s PoV on January; more fun with secrets and betrayals!  (Fun for the audience at least; maybe less fun for these two though.) They got pretty close, after all—how did that have January feeling?  Did she second-guess herself over that?  How about Sam—she was the one betrayed by her new friend, after all.  If you want to see me talking more about just January, check out my Yuletide letter here.

 Worldbuilding:

Okay, so, I really did like this movie, so I say this affectionately, but… to call the worldbuilding here flimsy would be to, well, imply that it had bothered doing any worldbuilding whatsoever, and that’s not quite accurate, now is it?  To be clear, I do think this was probably a good decision, given that the movie is dedicated to superhero funtimes, not How The Hell Is This Happening, but it does leave me with so very many questions. For being a movie all about royalty, this movie is almost allergic to actually engaging any of the politics it hints at, what with the presented sides being “monarchy good” and “terrorism is fine actually”; if you want to write about the politics of the world these characters live in, by all means go ahead! For example, how did they manage to be a Western European absolute monarchy all the way to the present day?  I’d love to see that, or anything like it really, explored.  Other worldbuilding I’d be interested in includes an exploration of the “gene” which… somehow… manifests exclusively in second-born children of royal bloodlines—does this include bastard children?  What counts as a royal bloodline?  What happens when one of the superhero royal children has to ascend the throne?  Why only the second-born?  Is it really genetic at all, or is it some sort of magic?  If not magic, then wtaf is going on in the genetics of this world, I have to know more.

 *****

 disguise shenaniganery and/or PUNS

Original Work [SAFETY]

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl/Female Student Warrior Disguised as a Boy (M/F)

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl/Female Fellow Student Mage (M/F)

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl & Male Student Warrior (M & M)

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl & His Older Female Mentor (M & F)

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl & Female Student Warrior Disguised as a Boy (M & F)

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl & Female Fellow Student Mage (M & F)

·        Child Superhero & Their Concerned Supervillain Nemesis (Any & Any)

·        Spellsword Mercenary & Mathemagician (Any & Any)

fandom-specific dnw: age gaps in ships of more than 3 or so years when one character is underage; predatory manipulation between characters in the relationship in service of the relationship–if characters are manipulating each other for non-relationship things and such that’s okay, but i’d rather both parties in any of the ships be interested in the romance of their own accord. Additionally, please don’t have characters react to any gender-disguised characters (or characters in general, but it’s most relevant to them) in transphobic or transphobic-adjacent ways (i.e. none of the characters are requested as trans, but I still wouldn’t want to see the kinds of comments people make about trans people aimed at them). I’d also rather not see any kind of serious relationship with at least one character disguising their gender pre-reveal of that disguise–flirting, starting to date a little is okay but if it’s going further please have them reveal it. Please don’t play into the idea of gender-disguised character as “trap”.

also dnw characters requested as gender-disguised to be written as trans or to be written as absolutely loathing their disguise. other characters are fair game. if writing trans characters, dnw them to be explicitly nondysphoric (but not addressing it is fine).

fandom-specific note: the “setting au” dnw obviously does not apply here; my typical “identity headcanon” au dnw has been replaced by a dnw for “marginalized identities as the main focus of a fic” since there isn’t exactly a canon here lol.

If you’re a lovely friend who wants to do treats, I’d be totally on board for art treats for this section; however, I haven’t requested them as actual fills.

 Prompts:

All of these are fun groupings that, I think, imply both setting and some amount of plot; but I’ll have some more specific prompts anyway.  Overall I like all sorts of settings; all of my requested pairs imply some amount of speculative elements in the setting, but beyond that it’s all up to you.  Just-left-of-modern?  Ancient China but with magic?  IN SPACE? Whatever you want to do, go for it.

 Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl &/Whoever:

Look, I’m a sucker for identity/disguise shenanigans, and I love gender disguises, and for all the books I read as a kid featuring girls disguising themselves as boys to do [insert restricted activity here], I never saw its natural inverse; this is a travesty and must be corrected for.  Anything playing into this whole trope/idea is just chef’s kiss, I promise you I’ll love it.

 Child Superhero & Their Concerned Supervillain Nemesis:

Another favorite dynamic of mine!  I love supervillains getting tricked into that semi-parental role where they’re like “hang on I may be a supervillain and a criminal but you’re a child where are your parents what are you doing here,” it’s quite possibly the Best dynamic I have yet encountered in superhero fiction… even if I haven’t actually encountered it all that much.

 Spellsword Mercenary & Mathemagician:

Okay, I’ll admit that I mostly nominated and requested this for the pun potential.  But I think there’s also quite a lot of implicit lore you could really dig into; what kind of world is this, where magic can be imbued in or used through swords, but can also be related to mathematics?  Tell me more about it!  How do these two know each other?  Are they both shamelessly, pundamentally invested in wordplay as well as their actual jobs?  If you’re looking for more plot-implying ideas, I would be super down if you wanted to map this onto one of my other origfic requests (but no pressure lol).

[ayellowcurtain]

I love your answers for Sander and Matteo. What about Gio from Italia and Yann from France?

Aww, thank you!! It wasn’t easy, but it’s so fun doing these things. Ok, let’s see...

Gio 

favorite thing about them

Where do I start? hahaha I love, love, love his relationship with Martino, how he treats his friends, how caring he is and attentive.  He’s very patient, knows when to give someone their space to think, but he makes sure they know he’s there if they wanna talk. And also how he’s so easy-going, he manages to become friends with Nico so quickly that it makes me think he’s one of those people that will always try to make everyone feel welcome. 

least favorite thing about them

How he (and all the boys actually) talk about some girls. I get it, they’re teenage boys, but just...yeah. 

favorite line

Take him. Most of that fight scene I didn’t enjoy, but Gio worrying about Martino, pushing him away it’s just too much for my poor little heart. 

brOTP

Can you guess? Martino x Gio 

OTP

Gio x Eva, pleeeeease! (But I love him with Sofia too) 

nOTP

Please, Skam Italia, don’t even try to put him with Emma, I can’t see that my eyes will burn! 

random headcanon

When they’re out to eat or when Marti used to go to Gio’s family trips or when he just slept at Gio’s place, he always serves Martino’s food first, always. And then he goes to see what he’s going to eat. 

unpopular opinion

He’s not perfect...but he’s so, soooo close. 

song i associate with them

Cesare Cremonini - Buon Viaggio <3 

favorite picture of them

Yann

favorite thing about them

How chaotic he can be. It’s a good chaotic, a chill type. Especially during season 1, his relationship with Lucas was so cute, to me it really felt like a little brother x big brother type of dynamic that I loved so very much. Yann seems to be the type that accepts every plan you offer him, even the bad ones, at like 3 A.M on a Wednesday. You’ll call him to go on a random road trip and he’ll be like “sure, bro, I’ll be there in ten.” 

least favorite thing about them

I’m still not sure how I feel about this, but I gonna say the obvious: the way he left Lucas after he came out. I loved their conversation after and how he said sorry (!!!!!!) for all the stupid jokes and how he could have made Lucas uncomfortable, but leaving still doesn’t seem like the best thing to do. 

favorite line

Don’t you ever go through something like that without telling me, Lucas.  I mean, do I need to explain myself, anon? This was AMAZING!!!!!!

brOTP

Lucas x Yann 

OTP

...Yann x Manon...

nOTP

Yann x Emma 

random headcanon

that’s not news, but I’m sure Yann and Manon will get married and be that perfect, happy couple. It’s ridiculous how good they look together!! 

unpopular opinion

Again, not sure how unpopular this is, but I hope he doesn’t get back together with Emma. 

song I associate with them

I don’t know the name of the song, but when I thought about a song for him, the music that came to my head was the one that’s playing on the first party of season 3 (where they meet Chloe, etc)

favorite picture of them

This was actually the first picture I ever saw when I got the news that we would get a skam remake and when I saw this, I was instantly sold and in love with their dynamic already. 

[falcongumba]

Lesley Mok

Photo by Luke Marantz 

Lesley Mok is an immensely creative drummer, percussionist and composer who works in a wide variety of collaborative ensembles as well as writing music for her own projects. She is also part of Polyfold Musical Arts Collective, a really wonderful group of musicians who have been curating a concert series for musicians to present new works of music as well as running a small record label that already has a sizable catalog.

I’ve only known Lesley for a couple of years, but we have played together a few times in informal sessions and I always admired her original drumming and her strong voice as a composer.

In this discussion we talked about her entire trajectory as a musician as well as some of her upcoming projects and plans.

JT: You’ve told me before that you are originally from the Bay Area but I’m a bit curious about your family’s background. Where are your parents from? What did they do?

LM: Neither of my parents are creative professionals, though I'd consider both of them creative people. I'm a first-generation American, and like many immigrants at the time, both of them had an intense desire to climb the social ladder and make it for themselves in the United States. I think uprooting one's life and moving to an unfamiliar place takes a different kind of creativity--figuring out which bus to take, what to eat, how to communicate...they're cultural challenges that require creative thinking.

JT: And, were they the first ones to steer you into getting music lessons? Or was that something that you wanted on your own?

LM: My mom forced me to take piano lessons, but drum lessons were something I asked for.

JT: Before we get onto the drums. I read on your bio that you also played the flute, correct?

LM: Yes! In my elementary and middle school concert bands.

JT: I imagine studying flute and piano was likely helpful, no? You write a lot of music now.

LM: Definitely - it gave me a  good sense of tonal harmony, or at least what it sounded like and how it might move. It wasn't until recently that I started writing music,  but taking lessons at a young age gave me a lot to work from. It's like learning a language at a young age..you can't really forget it.

JT: That’s amazing! So how did you arrive at the drums originally?

LM: I don't really remember, to be honest, but I took lessons for a few years before joining the middle school jazz band. I would invite friends over to work on songs we learned in school. I was terrified of soloing and I remember wanting to work on trading 4’s so I wouldn’t embarrass myself during rehearsal.

JT: And was it already pretty geared toward a jazz thing? Or were you playing other kinds of music?

LM: I was drawn to jazz from the beginning - it always felt like the music I wanted to play. I wanted to be in a backing band for a singer - my favorite records were with Ella, Billie Holiday, and Nancy Wilson.

JT: What kind of form did that listening take?

LM: One of the first drummers I met, Scott Lowrie, introduced me to a bunch of records like Sonny Rollins Quartet, Sarah Vaughan with Basie, Miles Davis’ First Quintet...He would point out certain things that captured him, like how swinging Philly Joe’s ride cymbal was, or the vibrato in Sarah’s voice, or how relaxed Paul Chamber’s beat was. He would sing along to the drum solos and try to figure out what sticking Philly Joe would more likely play. He introduced to me a listening culture that made me more interested in the music.

JT: What was the transition to Berklee like?

LM: I had started to meet a bunch of other high school musicians in my junior year of high school through programs like the Stanford Jazz Workshop. Everyone could really play, and it inspired me to know that people my age were already so committed to music. I remember Cory Cox and Caili O’Doherty were mentors at the program at the time, and just hearing them play encouraged me to apply to music school.

JT: That’s cool because that's kind of a common thread for a lot of people that I know from the Bay Area. There were all these music camps, and a lot of people went and even if a lot of them didn't end up playing music professionally, they still would end up playing an instrument pretty well and having a really strong appreciation for music.

LM: Yeah, I studied with Akira Tana at the time and I remember he even recommended that I not go to music school; he was like “you should check out these other things”.

I think a lot of my hesitation about going to music school didn't have to do with music itself but how to make a living in music. At that time, coming from a more traditionally minded family, music wasn’t a legitimate practice or career. It wasn’t until college when I built up more confidence and commitment to music.

JT: I remember you telling me that you had a pretty good experience at Berklee.

LM: The first two years at Berklee were a little unstructured and I was sort of confused about how to move forward. I felt lucky to play in a few ensembles that I really enjoyed, including Jason Palmer’s ensemble (my first foray into odd meters and original music) and Ralph Peterson’s Art Blakey ensemble, but I didn’t have high enough ratings to get into some other ensembles. (Those of you who are familiar with Berklee’s rating system can maybe empathize!). I felt a bit discouraged with navigating what felt like a bureaucratic system.

In my third year, I applied to this program called the Berklee Global Jazz Institute, led by Danilo Perez and Marco Pignataro. I didn't get in my first time around, but then I think it was in my sixth semester or something I auditioned again and got in. That program was really significant for me.

Global gave me some clarity in my practice and I was able to prioritize my learning. It was also during this time when I started to think about bigger questions, not just how to play the drums and music, but you know...how to play music in a culturally and socially informed way.

JT: And what were some of the breakthroughs? Was there a teacher that was particularly empowering? Or was it just the benefit of being in the program?

LM: The program itself was very empowering, but Danilo, Terri Lynne Carrington and Ben Street were the three teachers that really influenced me. Bob Gullotti was also enormously influential as a teacher. We would work on playing Bird heads around the drums. He was so thorough with the way he thought about dynamics, articulation, and tambor, and if he didn’t feel like you played the essence of the melody, he would ask you to work on the same thing for the following week. I hadn’t thought much about drumming outside of a rhythmic and linguistic context up until that point so those lessons were super transformative. Bob would play every Monday night at the Fringe--I remember hearing him take a solo on sticks on a ballad at like 40bpm, and being like, “Holy shit, I want to be able to do that.” Bob passed away just last year--he was a completely dedicated teacher and I will always treasure our time together.

JT: When did you move to NY?

LM: I moved in September of 2017.

JT: Okay. And did you move because you felt that New York was a center for this music? Or was there another reason?

LM: There was never much doubt in my mind about moving to New York after school. I travelled between Boston and New York pretty often while I was in school to take lessons or see shows, so after I finished my final year at Berklee I moved here.

JT: There's usually all these logistical and life challenges moving here the first year. How did that affect you? Were you able to get to music right away? Or was there an adjustment period?

LM: It was a tremendous life change. I applied for a bunch of jobs the first week I moved here, and ended up working at a small entertainment law firm for about four months..that's how long I lasted! (Haha) It was super gruesome and I was pretty miserable. I was in the office for nine hours a day, and would head to my studio every day at 6pm and practice until 10pm or so. I would plan sessions on weekends or weeknights after work. Oddly enough, I think I practiced the most when I had that job just because I knew I had to structure my time really well.

It was an emotionally tough time, but it really made me question what was important to me. I think I was scared of what it meant to be a working musician but after working at the law firm, I knew it wasn't something I could do--my body and mind just rejected it. After I quit my job I felt like I had control over my own time and free will, and it was then that I really started pursuing music more fearlessly.

JT: Yeah, I feel like there’s a huge character building that happens in that first year and then the following years almost get easier by contrast or something.

LM: I’m definitely less stressed out than I was that first year. There are always challenges and self-doubt, but I feel like I can return to familiar rooms in my mind and trust that I’ll overcome the moment.

That said, I still worry all the time if my music’s any good, if anyone resonates with it, and if other people like playing with me, etc. (Haha)

JT: And in those first couple of years were you already able to find some people to play with or did it take some time?

LM: I was playing with a lot of really great musicians, but the more I questioned my own artistic values, the more I was able to also find a community of people I resonated with emotionally and artistically. I also moved to Bushwick in November 2018 and started playing with people with completely different value systems. To be honest, I couldn’t relate at first. I heard Weasel Walter for the first time and remember thinking how weird and overwhelmed and intrigued I felt. There’s a record he’s on with Mary Halvorson and Peter Evans, and there are long stretches of time where he doesn’t play anything I can identify as a sound from the drum set. Hearing him along with other musicians like Brandon Lopez and Matteo Liberatore made me think consciously about all the musical choices I can make in any given moment. My first year living in Bushwick felt like everything I had known and felt about music was flipped upside down. I had to learn to engage with creative music beyond the ride cymbal being the main timbral focus...beyond jazz.

JT: I remember you telling me that you didn't start writing your own compositions right away.

LM: Yeah, I didn't really start writing until the end of 2018 with my band The Living Collection. It's funny to think that my first foray into writing was for a large chamber-like ensemble because I feel like I still have huge gaps in my knowledge of harmony and traditional compositional methods.

But it's something that also I think freed me from thinking I had to do a certain thing or compose in a certain way. I learned so much through trial and error...I'd have the flute in one octave and then have bass clarinet in another octave only to realize that the flute was barely audible. I had random mistakes in my chart, or very inconvenient ways of writing things, or literally impossible parts to play, so it was really trial by fire. But I think I learned through having a supportive group of friends for a band who would share their thoughts with me, and criticisms as well.

JT: I think I listened to everything there is currently available from that band. The music is really beautiful. I was wondering what is your concept for the music of the group?

LM: I think it's changed a lot. Some of the first compositions we played had many independent, moving parts. I was drawing a lot of inspiration from Henry Threadgill at that time. I was writing entirely notated music at one point, after listening to more contemporary classical composers like [Helmut] Lachenmann. Recently I’ve been thinking more about the idea of musical democracy and non-hierarchical ways of playing, improvisation being a vehicle for these social-cultural processes involved: spirituality, community-as-oneness, and communal joy. I hope to establish a context in which everyone can participate in music as a necessary ritualistic function.

JT: That brings me to the work that you've been doing with Polyfold Musical Arts Collective. How did it come about and how did you all start fleshing out these ideas?

LM: Well, I'm the newest member of Polyfold. The collective originally started in Detroit and consisted of 20-something musicians. It took on a new shape when a few of its members moved to Brooklyn in 2017, so the current membership includes myself, Yuma Uesaka, Alex Levine, and Ben Rolston. The idea is basically to expand opportunities for improvisers to create original music. That usually takes the form of a monthly concert series, something we call Polyfold Presents, but we’ve also put together these “Sunday Salons,” informal workshops where people can bring their music or share ideas they’re exploring. The idea comes from something Geri Allen used to do with her students. We recently have been working on our record label...your record was actually the first we put out in awhile! So thank you for all your work on that.

*Lesley adds: (Juanma’s band was originally scheduled to perform at the April concert series, but when COVID hit, we commissioned him along with the other artists that we scheduled to perform, to perform a creative work of any kind. He ended up recording four full-length compositions remotely with his band. It was so well recorded and the process was so representative of the moment that we decided to put it out on the label. Check it out - ‘Folklore’ by Juanma Trujillo.)

JT: How, would you describe the role that you have in the collective?

LM: It's hard to say, the structure and the nature of the organization has changed over time, our roles kind of shift as we go. I just worked on writing the last grant. Trying to put into words what exactly is it we do and making sure we're holding ourselves accountable for those things.

JT: Has being part of this initiative been rewarding in a way that you didn't expect? Has it helped you see things in a different way?

LM: Yeah, for sure. It’s made me realize how important and powerful organizing is for the improvised music community and how we all sort of depend on each other.

JT: Yeah, I think I wanted to get your input on that because I’ve been kind of pleasantly surprised to see that you guys as a group of artists who are already playing together and are good friends are also welcoming people from outside your circle. In my time living here I can confidently say that this is somewhat rare.

LM: Yeah..I hope it becomes less rare. I've met some people that have really made it feel like home here.

I think it’s hard to feel a sense of community in a place like New York, where artists-entrepreneurs are constantly up against so many things. It seems like everyone’s competing for the same opportunities.

I think community building starts on a personal level...who you hang out with or talk to, who’s in your band, what kind of bills you’re curating if you’re a bandleader. All of these things are part of what makes a community. The 501c3 is just a status.

JT: So we’ve talked about your main projects, but I can also see that you're doing quite a bit of one off gigs with people just improvising. How has that been helpful in your development?

LM: I often feel like there's a lot of pressure to play written music or to present something really polished, which I also enjoy, but it’s nice to get to know someone intimately without the pressure of following a specific musical format. It’s really invigorating getting to know their musical perspective in an open space and forming a connection.

Depending on the improvisational context, I sometimes feel that there’s nothing I wish to contribute on the drum set. It’s encouraged me to work on different techniques that might produce different sounds and timbres and to search for percussion instruments that might give me a broader range of expression. My dream is to build a drum cage like the one in that iconic photo with Roscoe Mitchell!

JT: Are there any of the other projects that you have that you would like to talk about or mention any other experiences that have been meaningful to you recently?

LM: I recently spent two weeks in Newton, MA with my good friends Maya and Akiva. We had no agenda other than to play music if we felt like it. It was one of the more intimate and spiritually fulfilling experiences I’ve had in awhile. The music felt like an extension of our cooking together, our swims in the lake, our humming. I listened back to some of the recordings we made a few days ago...it feels both personal and non-precious. It reminds me of these words by Nicole Mitchell--

“If you practice your connection to the stars enough, you can go anytime you please. The Dogon mastered it, but the shoebox architects sold kids on rap videos over stargazing. Doesn’t matter how much pollution, or how many ceilings or drones are flying above, the stars are there. I promise. No wonder Lightin’ Hopkins, Jeff Parker, Jimi Hendrix and all the bluesmen made their own vessel guitars to communicate here. And ever better, I’m tellin’ you, there are no consequences, no punishments and no side effects except joy and more strength. Can you imagine? I’m thinking, maybe we can build a bridge from pain to hope and insight and take all our families there.”

JT: Thank you Lesley!

LM: Yeah, thanks so much for doing this.

You can learn more about Lesley on her website: https://www.lesleymok.com/

Lesley has all her releases available on: https://lesleymok.bandcamp.com/

[flodaya]

What is your (so far) favorite season of each version of skam you've seen?

oh this might be boring and predictable, but i’m gay so dont judge me 

skam season 3, the first thing i ever watched of skam was isak and even’s first kiss, and oh wow i loved that scene, so i quickly found out what show it was from (i vaguely remembered seeing it all over tumblr in 2016) and binged all four seasons, and season 3 is just phenomenal, the symbolisms, the storytelling, the characters, it all fit so well together

skam france season 3, imane and lucas are pretty much the only two characters i really care about in skamfr, and i really love lucas as a character, and i enjoyed watching skamfr s3 a lot in the beginning, not so much the second half, but it was still far far better than season 1 and 2, and don’t get me started on season 4, imane deserves better

druck season 3, yeah so how many paragraphs am i allowed i gush about matteo’s season? i could probably fill a 500 page book. matteo alone is so so special to me, he is one of those very few characters that will stay in my heart forever, i don’t think i have ever seen a main character be as introverted and quiet as matteo, clearly depressed and canonically has anxiety attacks, what good rep to have!! i’m also so in awe of michi’s portrayal of matteo. and then we have the boy squad which is just my favorite boy squad ever, i love their dynamic, they are hilarious andnd supportive in every way, and they are all close with one other, not just jonas and matteo, they all have a special relationship with each other. david obviously is another absolute highlight, and another character that just is iconic and will go down not just in skam but in television history. and i haven’t even started to talk about matteo and david’s relationship. it’s just the pure soulmate trope but not in a cheesy way, but in a “idiot soulmates” way, i loved every second of it. there is so much more i could say, and go more into detail, i really really love this season a lot, but i think you all know that

skam españa season 2, another really special season for me, i’m actually constantly rewatching it, seriously, i don’t think i have rewatched any other skam season more times than skam españa (at least as a as a season from beginning to the end), cris and joana are wonderful characters, the girl squad is the most supportive and loving group of friends, i love the background development of viri, and also nora/alejandro, and can we talk about the iconic move of giving the isak season to one of the girls and making isak the gay guru?? just think about that, in skam isak needed a guru and a few universes away he IS the guru. i also love how they combined the jonas/isak sana/isak and chris/sana relationship into one beautiful childhood friendship between cris and amira, i love those two. and i really love that cris has a brother, give me more sibling rep in the skam universe

skam nl season 1, such a beautiful season, i wasnt the biggest fan of the second half of s2, but s1 was so so beautiful, i need to rewatch it asap, since the first season focuses a lot on the girl squad i wasnt too bothered that i didnt like kes and isa together because the girl squad was working so well together since the very first moment, it’s also just in general so aesthetically pleasing to me, and isa is my favorite skam nl character, and in my top 10 skam characters of all time 

skam austin season 1, i couldnt really decide, in both cases i’m not a fan of the love story but the girl squad is what i really love in skam austin, i guess i chose s1 because i low-key shipped megan and shay, and they had some really cute moments in s1, and rather awkward and just plain saddening moments in s2 

wtfock season 2, one word: senne! that dude really did something to me, and I’m not even into guys. every scene he was in in season 2 was such a joy to watch, and again s1 is so focused on the girl squad and I don’t really feel their dynamic as friends

[smores100]

once again we’re in full agreement lol. What’s your take on s3 remakes you’ve watched? Wondering how you feel about Skam FR as it’s kind of a similar situation to me where the chemistry & beauty is there but the writing and style is iffy (overwrought &overdramatic). My favorite s3 is druck. As a wlw I had high hopes for españa but it was p slow/v desexualized—a whole discussion, but my other gay friend & I were disappointed given how remakes with guys don’t hold back in that respect.. Thoughts?

Honestly re: wtfock tho I really do wonder if they had like one good writer in the room surrounded by fools. Bc it really does feel like some group projects I’ve been in where I feel like I’m the only one who’s not a fucking fool and carry the whole thing while having to fend off bad ideas (but when the majority rules, those bad ideas/execution get put in). I wonder if that’s what happened w wtfock.

re: wtfock, lol group projects are the worst….idk what wtfock’s writing process was like, but i’d love to know it. according to their wiki there were 3 writers this season? all seem to be male, naturally. did the two other writers have good ideas but there was a main writer who overruled them and did his own thing? or maybe they’re the rl one brain cell squad, that would explain a lot :p in any case, i’m unimpressed (friday’s clips did not help with that).

as for the other part of your ask….oh damn i have so many Thoughts on that, lol. this is probably gonna get long and messy, but you asked for it!

* druck - my absolute favorite. it’s the only one i’ve watched since s1, so that definitely played a part in my emotional investment and attachment. still, there was more to it than that. it was the closest to og imo in vibe and style (it felt small, real, lowkey, quiet, natural like og, as opposed to - as you said - overwrought and overdramatic + overproduced like the others); they cast an actual trans guy to play a trans character, if you wanna talk about a skam remake doing something REVOLUTIONARY? druck is the one; i loved matteo’s and david’s characterizations, how they both had a bit of isak and even in them, and the role reversal in some scenes, made things feel fresh *and* fit their characters/story; i LOVE that teens matteo and david were played by actual teens michi and lukas!! they’ve completely ruined me for all other remakes, bc thissssss is how it’s supposed to be! thisssss is how it should look like! THEY ARE KIDDOS. and they (druck and michi/lukas) truly captured what it’s like to be young and fall in love for the first time, the awkwardness and the nervousness and stuttering and fumbling around, the softness and pureness and innocence of it all!!! also they have THE BEST dynamic - other people might prefer all the hot kissing and steamy making out and the smouldering looks, but me? i just couldn’t get enough of their dumb chaotic energy, best friends who love each other deeply and are also constantly little shits to one another. gimme them pranking each other and playfighting every day! and then being soft and THE HANDS and matteo being a clingy koala basking in david’s affection :3 i also loved how for the most part they didn’t just copy/paste og’s storyline, they made some changes and knew how to make *other* changes accordingly for it to make sense and fit the story *they* were telling - for example, replacing the ‘call your gf’ scene with matteo’s panic attack/breakdown (one of my fave scenes), or their reunion at the end of ep 7 (replacing the desperate kissing + sex with a comforting and relieved yet also bittersweet and melancholic hug), or even matteo getting advice from his drug dealer instead of the school’s doctor, lol. also THE BEST BOY SQUAD, hands down. and matteo is my favorite isak bc to me he felt like his own character instead of just another isak, he was different and reletable and a constant Mood. that being said - it wasn’t perfect and it had its issues. there were a few times when i did feel they stuck too close to og scenes and it didn’t *entirely* work for me, just felt a bit off; i will forever be disappointed that they didn’t directly address and acknowledge matteo’s mental state/depression, bc there were enough signs imo to indicate that he did suffer from something. they mentioned ‘therapy’ in mia’s, alex’s and kiki’s cases, i truly thought they would with matteo as well, but alas, they dropped the ball on that one; i was extremely upset with david’s outing, but i’ve since calmed down and have managed to see it in a more positive light, tho i still have mixed feelings about it and am not fully on board with that decision, still wish it had been done differently (but at least! it wasn’t brushed off and was addressed immediately and eventually led to david having agency and yelling out his pain!!! which was good and important and cathartic); also eps 8 and 9 were pretty messy writing-wise, things either didn’t make sense or would’ve made more sense had the clips were organized differently (that random ping pong clip….?). overall tho, the good outweighed the bad, and it remains my fave

* skam france - now that’s a tricky one. the way i felt about it in the first half of the season, is different from the way i felt about it in the second half of the season, is different from the way i feel about ever since watching druck’s s3. it’s funny you should say how similar it is to wtfock for you, bc i’ve been thinking the same thing for quite some time. those neighboring countries sure have a shared flair for the dramatic! fr’s s3 was pretty much the first s3 i watched (i gif-watched half of skamit, couldn’t get into it). i wasn’t planning to (i was extremely unimpressed by the couple of s1 eps i tried watching, and same by axel’s acting in those first two seasons), but even is the loml and they got me gooood with their eliott pov trailer, which might have affected my excitement over it during the first half. back then i really enjoyed it for the most part, despite some clips being rushed or missing the point thus not fully having the required effect (their locker room scene, for example, or the ‘generalizations are bad’ convo), or how much i hated basile (a character so obviously written by a man it’s amazing), or the cheesy piano music. there were enough good things for me to focus on instead (more in a bit) that i could ignore the things i didn’t like or weren’t as good imo. however, all the positivity got sucked out of me when yann noped tf out after lucas came out to him bc WAY TO MISS THE POINT OF SKAM!!! and things went downhill after the director’s IT’S NOT DISNEYLAND IT’S FRANCE 2019 comment. i’m getting all upset just thinking about it, but to say *that*, to explain that horrendous decision bc lowkey homophobic reactions are realistic!!! only to THEN be all ‘haha jk yann isn’t homophobic! we just wanted you to *think* he was! he’s actually an awesome friend who took several days to reflect on all his past wrongdoings while his bff was at home having a nervous breakdown bc he believed his bff hated him!’ ughhhhhhhhh, miss me with that shit. great that they had yann apologizing for his past comments, but the way in which it was done was for pure shock value and angst, completely ooc for his character (all season he was all ‘tell me tell me tell me let me help let me help let me help’ only to do *that*?? nahh), and interesting how out of everyone the only black character was the only one with a negative reaction (remind you of anyone), highlighted even more during ep 7 aka the ott lucas coming out tour. then ep 8, that should have been 100% all lucas and eliott and building up to eliott’s manic episode suddenly had that weird random pov changing clip in the middle of it which truly wtf, basile was still basile, lucas thanked chloe for outing him, more scenes felt rushed, they had sex in school where people could come and go in front of huge windows in broad daylight and luckily didn’t get poisoned from licking all that paint! and i did not like the flatshare, i absolutely hated mika and lisa kicking lucas out of his room - which he pays rent for! - and manon not even trying to put up a fight, and them being like ‘roommate isn’t just a place, it’s a way of living. that’s a family, and you’re more like a cousin.’ ‘a second cousin.’ ughhhhhh and then when eliott was recovering from his depressive episode, they *still* didn’t give lucas his room back or at least let eliott stay there, he was sleeping on the couch, i’m aldjlajdafj. can’t believe i’m gonna say it, but TAKE NOTES FROM WTFOCK. tl;dr there were some good moments in the second half, but i was feeling bitter more often than not about certain things, so my enjoyment wasn’t as high as when it first started. and after watching druck, druck’s brand is definitely much more my style. plus, i was already struggling with making myself believe axel and maxence were in their teens, but after druck it’s completely impossible, so i just pretend they’re in college or something lol. all my issues with it aside, i’d still rate it higher than wtfock, bc overall the writing was better, more coherent, and made much more sense. i also liked lucas’ friendship with the girls; i loved that instead of copying the underwater kiss + 21:21 like some others have, they came up with their own thing i.e. polaris, which i thought was lovely; the lucas/manon crying in the middle of the night together in front of the tv was one of my fave scenes of the season; also love how we were introduced to eliott on the first week! and they spent time together! and specifically the piano playing scene, ohhhh; and in general elu are sweet and i reeeeally like axel and maxence and their friendship. so yeah, it had some major issues, but i’d rather have a coherent story with something done for shock value and drama ONCE than an incoherent story with several shock value moments.

* skam espana - sorry to hear you girls were disappointed! i only watched half of it, so i can only comment on what i saw. i decided to binge watch s1 and give s2 a shot when i heard they were giving cris isak’s story - it felt a bit weird to me, but it was also something different and new, and i did have an appreciation for their decision to have a wlw season (also much more revolutionary to me than showing a gay bashing), so i was intrigued and willing to try it. sadly i didn’t really vibe with s1? it’s totally a personal preference i think, maybe even a cultural thing idk, but it felt very fast and loud and hectic to me, idrk how to explain it. i was just more into the chill more lowkey vibe of druck and skamnl. but i still gave s2 a shot, and idk, it still wasn’t my cup of tea. i thought it was ok for the most part, but there were some things that bothered me - joana/cris felt underdeveloped to me? and things b/w them felt like they were moving so fast from the second they met, like jona was so intense and forward ALL THE TIME, they had like 6 almost kisses in a really short time, like shhh slow down. i remember disliking their ‘call your gf’ scene, it felt really petty and kinda mean to me? bc i felt like joana came on to cris *really* strongly and *very* frequently, so cris was more than entitled to feel hurt and betrayed when she found out joana had a bf, but then cris was kissing a dude and joana positioned herself and her bf in front of cris so she’d see them kissing too, and i just didn’t like bc seriously?? cris is valid, just apologize to her and explain?? idr much else tbh, they had some really cute and sweet scenes afterwards, i’m still against doing the underwater kiss + 21:21 so i was kinda meh about that (tho aesthetically speaking it was BEAUTIFUL, and i’m like, fiiiiine girls deserve an underwater kiss too, i’ll allow it just this once!), and that cuddling clip in ep 6 i think was sweet and the last one i watched. like i said, i was less vibing with this remake, and iirc it was going on during druck’s s3 and skamnl’s s2 - which were my faves, plus skamfr was on too i think and i was lowkey following it too, so….there was just too much all at once and something had to go, and it was skamesp. it was also around the time when panaphobia-gate happened, so *shrugs* i’m not wlw myself so your opinion on it being desexualized is probably more valid than mine? i just know when i did watch, there was a lot of kissing and making out and being cute and touchy with each other, so i thought it was ok? as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t need to see a naked butt or anything like that to *get* it lol, i thought they were lovely! but that’s just me. i will say that my faaaave part was most definitely the cris/amira friendship. they were so wonderful! one of the best skam friendships imo. i might one day go back and finish the season just for the heck of it, but they didn’t do anything major or highly offensive that made me have negative feelings towards it, it was just a personal preference + circumstances (too many remakes!) that made me be less into it and drop it before the end.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

What if Mia and Alex didn't interrupt?

„Laura is my sister.“

Matteo felt stupid. Of course, he thought that Laura was David’s girlfriend. Why should it have been any different? From what Matteo had heard so far, David was well liked by the girls. His soft facial features and the long eyelashes above the dark eyes, as well as the black curls, who wouldn’t be enthusiastic about the appearance. On top of that David seemed to be sociable and kind. The perfect mixture. Matteo could understand the girls and envied them for being able to gush so openly over him.

“Laura is my sister.”

Matteo felt a wave of relief rising in his chest and he smiled sheepishly. David stood close beside him. So damn close. He turned his head and looked at him. He felt David’s hand next to his on the kitchen counter. A wave of new feelings flowed through him. When Sara touched or kissed him, it wasn’t even nearly so intense, so indescribable. How much Matteo had longed for such a feeling! With every fibre of his body he had longed for this feeling, but so far it had been a grasp into emptiness.

David looked at him, didn’t say a word. These dark eyes seemed to be watching him closely, seeing every little movement. Matteo’s head moved closer to David as if automatically. Just a bit, still too uncertain whether it was really what his opposite wanted. He himself wanted it since he had seen David for the first time in school. How often had he imagined it, lying alone in his room in the darkness. But the fantasy didn’t even come close to reality.

Matteo had only read or heard about these infamous butterflies in the tummy. He could never understand when others talked about it and at some point he had stopped listening. Instead, he had pessimistically surrendered to the assumption that something like this would never happen to him.

But there he was. His stomach contracted and tickled, a comforting warmth radiated from it through his whole body. He had imagined it differently, but the feeling could not be described in any way and was absolutely overwhelming.

David moved carefully toward him. His hand now lay on Matteos and carefully stroked the contours with his thumb. Matteo melted away. Around him it became quiet. All he could hear was the rustle of his blood in his ears and the distant bass of his heartbeat, which had doubled in the last minutes.

His hair met against resistance as they approached further and further. He lifted his head slightly, one last look telling him it was about to happen. Breathing suddenly became more difficult and he had to swallow. There wasn’t much left of the usually quiet chaotic guy. He could feel his nervousness all the way to his toes.

He wasn’t prepared for the mass of emotion. When their lips finally touched after a felt eternity, at first carefully and shyly, the storm in Matteo’s stomach really started and the butterflies were roaring through his whole body. All senses were focused on his lips. Time seemed to stand still and Matteo gave in to that kiss and felt more alive than he had for a long time.

David’s free hand meanwhile wandered to Matteo’s face and stroked his fingertips tenderly over Matteo’s cheek, leaving a pleasant tingling sensation where they touched. Matteo had clawed his free hand into David’s T-shirt. The kiss had shifted dynamics and Matteo pulled David closer. His hand now in Matteo’s neck and applied slight pressure to be even closer to him.

Their lips moved in perfect harmony, as if they were made for each other, and as their tongues touched, Matteo sighed slightly. He could feel David smiling against his lips.  

Since their first encounter, his world had been turned upside down. It had been confusing feelings and he had been unsure what exactly he should think of them, couldn’t quite place them. So far he had only experienced that his feelings for other boys were one-sided and that his feelings for girls did not go beyond friendship.

But in the here and now with David he felt right.

Slowly they dissolved the kiss and looked at each other. A slight smile lay on both lips, which were still red from the previous kiss. Matteo couldn’t help it, he wrapped his arms around David, pulled him tight and buried his head in his neck bend. He inhaled his scent deeply. Never had he dreamed of perceiving someones smell as pleasant as David’s.

David’s arms were around Matteo’s hip and he also seemed to find support in the embrace. David’s hot breath on his sensitive skin at the neck gave Matteo pleasant goose bumps. They stood in the kitchen for a while, just enjoying each other’s company.

“I really like your kitchen, but do you want to go somewhere else? Somewhere where it’s a little more comfortable and you can sit down” David asked whispering next to Matteo’s ear.He had to smile. “Sure. Come with me”. And he released himself from the embrace and made his way to his room.

Insecurity returned to him with every step. What did David expect of him? Did he expect anything at all? Indecisive, he stopped in his room and did not dare to sit down. He began to play with his hands and looked for a way to hide his insecurity.

“Cool room,” David said as he looked around. Matteo smiled shyly. His room was chaotic, untidy and of course his bed wasn’t made. In the corner he could see the ball he had thrown a few hours ago, the slight smell of marijuana still in the air.

The joint should have calmed him down, but it hadn’t helped and after a few puffs he had turned him off annoyed. And he was happy about it. If he had been intoxicated, he would have perceived the situation differently, would not have reacted the way he had and would have missed the best kiss of his life so far.

“You’ re not so fond of decorations, are you?” a smile surrounded David’ lips as he sat down on the bed and looked at the few photos on the wall behind it. Undecided, Matteo was still standing in the room. He hadn’t been that nervous for a long time. He still felt the tingling in his body that the kiss had caused. After some back and forth in his head, he sat awkwardly on the other end of the bed.

“Nah, decoration isn’t so mine. Besides, we just moved in here recently.” Matteo looked around. David was right, it was really quite barren and somehow dreary. Maybe that’s why Matteo felt so comfortable. He felt David’s gaze resting on him and was not able to lift his own to look into those incredibly dark eyes.

He felt the mattress move. David had diminished the distance between them, but the expression on Matteo’s face made him hesitate to come closer. Matteo wanted him to come closer, everything in him longed to kiss those soft lips again, to touch David, to be close to him again. Carefully he let his hand glide over the sheet until he touched David’s hand. Carefully his fingertips traced the contours. David timidly slipped closer, touching Matteo’s chin gently with his free hand and raising his head so that Matteo couldn’t help but look at him. A smile lay on David’s lips. He took Matteo’s hand in his and pressed it briefly.

“I meant it seriously, you look really good today,” David whispered with a hoarse voice into the silence that had occurred, not turning his gaze away from him.

Matteo acted before he could think about it. He bridged the last few inches, a hand laid in David’s neck to pull him into a fiery kiss that David also greedily answered. Slowly they let themselves sink to the bed. Matteo drove his fingertips over David’s cheek, along his neck, over his shoulder to his back. He drew David closer to himself, trying to be as close to him as possible under the circumstances. He never wanted to do anything other than hold David in his arms, feel his heart beat against his chest and kiss him.

Outside the world could have ended, he wouldn’t have cared. David’s lips wandered to his neck and Matteo stretched out towards them, freed more of his neck, enjoyed this new tenderness. One shiver after the other was chased through his body. The first hand went under the other’s T-shirt. First touches of naked skin, followed by dizziness in the head.

During those moments in David’s arms, Matteo had forgotten everything around him. All the shit that called itself his life was faded out and the touch of a new feeling spread in his chest and for the first time in his life he wasn’t afraid of it.

With their bodies intertwined, they fell asleep and Matteo hadn’t slept as well as he did that night in David’s arms.

[evakuality]

Hanna, episode 4

1.  Me, making screenshots for every episode: this is soooo gay wtf?  I actually kind of like this because while it’s not explicit yet, we do know that Mia is bisexual and so we know that there’s every possibility that she could be into Hanna and not just friendly-like.  Now we just need Hanna to admit it as well!

2.  I love the first scene and the dynamics between them all.  Mia’s feminism and strong opinions clashing with Kiki.  Poor Kiki and her need to be organising and controlled etc.  But also how sweet she is with the whole ‘we’re a crew now, and crews need to do stuff together’ (as a side note - this is lovely for Hanna to be wanted and included and not made fun of and that automatic assumption of Kiki’s that they will be a crew and they will hang out.  It’s nice after the tension with Jonas, Matteo, Carlos etc).  Sam’s chill stuff and how easily she just spills compliments out, and rolls with it all.  She’s SUCH a lovely person for Hanna to have around her.  And Amira.  Underestimated (and tone policed) by Kiki, but the one who actually has a plan of how to deal with getting into this party Kiki is obsessed with.  This is one thing I really like that they changed from the original.  Sana seemed really serious when she said ‘well you need to dump your boyfriend’ to Eva, whereas Amira seems to be making fun of the idea.  And I love how she effectively says you can do stuff with other guys and not have it be the end of the world.  Of course, for Hanna this would be a big thing.  She’s living through the after-effects of cheating, Leonie is making her life miserable, and she suspects Jonas is cheating.  Of course she doesn’t want to seem to be cheating herself.  But Amira’s right.  Getting an invite to a party isn’t cheating even if the guy is interested.  She’s allowed to have fun.

3.  I really like the way Jonas and Hanna are together in the next clip, but at the same time there’s something that doesn’t really sit right with me about it.  Jonas and his ‘you wouldn’t make it without me’ is meant in a light hearted way, and yet it’s feeding into the whole way he does try to diminish her (all the stuff about her grades, how she can dress herself, how she’s always in his pocket etc etc).  In some ways it feels like there’s a sense that he knows she’s slipping away.  Whereas in the first couple of episodes he felt stifled by her and wanted her to branch out, now it’s ‘hmmm no I’m not liking this, I need you to need me’ because an actually independent Hanna isn’t what he wants either.  I dunno.  Maybe I’m being uncharitable; he’s a young boy after all and he must have some things going on in his head too, and I doubt he’s intentionally trying to make her feel shitty; this is just how they are together.  And overall, what these bantery clips do show is how much fun these two have together even as things sort of slip out of their control.  You can see why they’re together even while you can see why they’re falling apart.  Miscommunication and secrets - the bane of every doomed relationship.

4. This party.  It just doesn’t seem all that much fun to me, but I guess we’re in Hanna’s head and I’m not sure she’s enjoying herself until Sam comes to talk to her so maybe we’re supposed to feel that way.  It certainly gets more interesting for us as well as for her once he comes to her.  She’s intrigued by Sam too, and you can see the wheels turning when he says she’s a ‘political kid’ - like she’s assuming all guys feel the way Jonas does, and this is how she’s trying to connect with him (talking politics the way she would with Jonas), but here she’s seeing that maybe that isn’t true.  And it’s opening her world up a bit.  Of course, I’m not sure that she’s all that aware that he’s playing the same game in a much more sophisticated way.  He’s complimenting her on her interests (which are actually Jonas’s interests, a testament to how much she’s let her life become a subsidiary of his), and doing it in a very sophisticated way compared to hers.

5.  I never liked William or P Chris all that much, and it’s the same here.  Though I do think this Sam is cute, I don’t like just how pointed and practiced his flirting is.  Hanna is not used to this, you can see she’s kind of taking it seriously, and Sam is kind of taking advantage of that.  And Alex is... bleh.  William doing this was shitty, and Alex is no better.  These girls are fairly innocent comparatively, and these boys are gross for using that and playing with them.  Kiki’s desperation and naivety is no reason to do this to her.

6.  Of course, then Kiki comes out with the whole islamophobic stuff at Amira and I lose compassion for her.  She’s hurting, sure, I’ll give her that.  She thought she had a chance with the great Alex Hardenberg and she blames Amira for the loss of that.  But her choice of pushback is so awful, and coupled with the business previously about how Amira should use a better tone, it’s infuriating.  Now obviously a lot of this is picked up whole cloth from the original and she does grow as a character, but ugh.  It’s so hard to watch rn.  No wonder Amira storms off the way she does.

It’s an interesting episode, not exactly ‘fun’ but a lot happens which drives the plot forward.  The events and plot points are almost always from the original as is usual for this season.  But there’s a real strength in how we learn about these characters and how we see them interacting.  While we’re still deep in Hanna’s PoV, the camera seems a bit more pulled back now.  The other girls are usually around (and noteworthy: Mia is almost always seated next to Hanna or near her - I mean I know this is presumably because Hanna is the one she feels closest to and most comfortable with, but still.  Gay.) and there are far fewer close in shots on just Hanna.  The cinematography is brighter and more intense.  Combined, this all means we’ve lost the sense of isolation that characterised Hanna’s first few episodes.  There’s some discomfort in the relationships, none of them is perfect, and yet she feels more connected than previously and that’s so nice to see.  My girl deserves to feel wanted and special.

[mickey-milkovich]

First Skam... then Druck... is it time for me to watch wtfock? Folks seemed very upset over a development a couple weeks ago but it sure looks like things got better?

Look, it’s had some tough moments and they have made some seriously problematic choices but overall it really is quite a good remake (so far) - idk how much you’ve seen through gifs and such, I don’t want to spoil it but this s3 has had a hell of a lot more homophobia (in various forms) than other versions I’ve seen which has turned a lot of people off it and I understand 100% why it would - a few times it’s had me incredibly pissed off and swearing I’m not going to watch anymore!! …. but then I carried on watching hahah 

Here’s just some general other thoughts in comparison to the other two versions you’ve seen to maybe help you decide:

- wtfock has clips every single day and they tend to be short, I will say this has left me feeling more needy ???? and desperate for clips, even when they’ve just been dropped - the clips feel like they are over before they’ve even begun half the time and I do think I’d prefer more fleshed out clips less often? but maybe watching it as a full episode wouldn’t have the same feeling tbh - wtfock has absolutely my favourite Isak/Eskild dynamic across all the versions ive seen and Milan (Eskild’s counterpart) is (generally) an incredibly well written character, there have been some really moving scenes with him in - the flat dynamic is really great here again too - they are fully a little family and, again, I enjoy robbe’s time with the flat more so than isak or matteo’s I’d say???- the boy squad is trash … look, SOME of them are getting better but at times it really does feel like we are praising them for the bare minimum - jens is absolutely no match for either jonas IM SORRY OK - senne is my fave william by far - I haven’t seen the first two series - whereas I have done with skam and druck, so I can’t judge there - but I really love him this series- the inclusion of Zoe’s (Noora) drama in wtfock s3 feels much more integrated and makes more sense to me than the what i’ve seen in some other versions - I actually feel myself caring a lot about how she gets on- there are some very strange writing choices at times - like they’ll make a change from OG Skam and you’ll be like ‘oh wow this is really cool’ but then they’ll stick a pretty much word for word scene in from OG and it doesn’t make sense given the changes they’ve made???? And earlier on in the series the pacing was so so weird??? (i think it feels better now??) just some very off writing choices at times- the fact that there’s a clip everyday seems to make this series feel like it’s been on for 4 or 5 months already lmao - there are some really lovely lighthearted moments between robbe and sander and you can see like they are gonna make such amazing friends as well as boyfriends and it’s a really nice relationship being developed so far 

Anyway, just some of my thoughts - I’m sure there’s a million more things I could say, me and @lucasseliott seem to speak out it constantly at the moment so there must be something going for it hahahahaha

Let me know if you start watching it and what you think of it!!!?????

[babieflorenzi]

What kind of stuff do you think they would like to try but are too nervous to talk about (bedroom stuff)

alskdjn so this did not end up being what u asked much bc i get carried away im-

these are also in a really weird order sorry aklsdjn

- Matteo’s very very shy about asking for pretty much anything he wants. He’s usually happy to follow what others want him to be doing. usually he doesn’t speak up when he really enjoys things and sometimes it’s really frustrating. David tries to get him to speak up about what he wants but it’s still hard because often Matteo will just respond with shrugs

- One time David sits Matteo down and asks him about what he wants to do more of in bed and Matteo shrugs again, David doesn’t just take that for an answer this time though, “Okay, what makes you feel sexy then?” he asks him. Matteo has to think about it but he shrugs again “I dunno, I guess when I’m able to make you feel good?” It’s not a real answer but David takes it.

- The next time the conversation comes up David’s a bit more blunt and to the point. He straight up tells Matteo that he thinks about him when he’s getting off alone. Matteo turns bright red and shoves his face in the pillow because it’s a little wild to actually think about your boyfriend getting off to the thought of you. But then David asks if he does the same and Matteo actually squeaks, “I mean... obviously but shhh.” David rolls his eyes before asking him, “Okay, but then what do you think about?” He thinks talking about this might make it easier for Matteo to talk about his wants and needs. 

- Matteo looks down at his hands the whole time talking about what he pictures. David’s a little annoyed at first that it’s mostly Matteo talking about thinking about what he can do to make David feel good but Matteo pauses and thinks for a second before speaking “I also like it when you sometimes like, holdmedown.” “Hmm what was that?” David asks. He heard it clearly he just sort of wants to hear it again. “I like when you hold me down. Like when things get intense and you push my hips down? Or I’m being too loud and you put a hand over my mouth. That’s good.” 

- David also tries to get Matteo to talk more about what he finds attractive and what are turn ons for him so he can voice stuff more often. It’s always a bit flattering. His favourite moment being one day after coming back from a shower, Matteo coming over and rubbing his hands up and down his arms and saying “Mmm babe it’s a pity you just got clean and then came back in here looking like that.” 

- There’s a couple things David gets iffy about a lot. He never asks Matteo to go down on him and it sort of doesn’t happen for a long while because it’s just not brought up. David has fears that all are very present and rational, he doesn’t know how Matteo would react to doing that or how he’d feel about being asked to do it. Surprisingly, Matteo starts the conversation one day by saying “hey so I read about this thing...” and asks if it’s something David would want. It takes David a minute to answer and he only says “Maybe?” Matteo suggests they try it and see how it goes. It goes fucking amazing for both of them, Matteo really really enjoys doing it and David feels really fucking good through it. 

- The other thing David struggles asking for is asking Matteo to take the lead when he needs him to. Their dynamics usually means David is In Charge and leads whatever they do but they’re are days when he needs Matteo to make those choices and take action. Generally he’ll just try show Matteo what he needs, pulling him on top of him when they’re getting hot and heavy and trying to keep him there. Sometimes Matteo will pull back and laugh a little then get back into it and David gets what he wants. He asks a handful of times a quick “Fuck baby need you to take care of me tonight” and Matteo understands what he’s asking and will do what David needs. 

- Matteo tries to start a conversation asking for something again. He’s shy all through it and spends most of it looking up at the roof. “Hey yeah, you remember that thing, that you did where you uhm, like, uuh, where you sat on me?” Matteo asks talking fast. “You mean when I sat on your face?” David smiles. He knows Matteo enjoyed that a fuck tonne because he has came untouched and it was good for them both. “Yeah that. Can we do that again?” (They do it often after that.)

[canonicallyanxious]

So I always feel jealous of artists who do a year in review of their art bc, like, it always looks so cool, whereas if i did a year in review, i mean, it’s literally just walls of text, like who wants to see a post like that?? But i don’t care i’m doing a year in review of my writing just for me and that’s that on that!

Anyway as far as my progress as a writer this year, i think it was kind of an interesting year because I wanted to turn away from fanfiction and start writing original ideas again after years of being immersed in fic writing - I was particularly tired of the pressures of writing for an audience, and really looking forward to solely writing for myself for a while - but then I was unemployed and extremely depressed and I couldn’t really do any writing at all. In fact for a long while writing just made me really sad. Even before this year, writing had been difficult for me because I feel like I’d sort of forgotten how to actually take pleasure in writing, so consumed was i by this desperate desire to be the Best and Perfect in every way. 

And then druck happened, and specifically David and Matteo happened, and honestly? Honestly they helped me fall in love with writing again. I’m not really sure what it was about those two. I mean, they’re alternate versions of characters I already love which seems ridiculous. But also I feel like i can just see myself more in them, especially David, than pretty much any other character I’ve ever encountered. And also writing their dynamic is just FUN for me. There’s just something about the way they play off of each other that is endlessly fun for me to play off of.

So writing fic for these two got me back into writing again, and also helped me remember what it’s like to actually write for myself first. I’d been so consumed for so long with these insecurities that I just wasn’t good enough for other people, but i think the experience of writing druck fic was in itself so ridiculous [I mean, i’m writing au’s of au versions of characters i’ve ALREADY written au’s of, let’s not mince words here] that it was easy to just stop caring about what other people think and write whatever the fuck I wanted. So I think that’s my favorite thing about my writing this year, because even though I didn’t do a ton of it I’m actually still proud of quite a lot of it because I remember that i had a fucking blast writing all of it, and that feeling more than anything is what I’ve come to realize is what I want to pursue with my writing. I don’t know what I’ll do in the future, if I’ll continue to write fic or try something original or whatever else I could do, but I don’t want to put pressure on myself to make it into something more than it is. My writing, whatever it is, is good enough on its own, because I enjoy doing it. That’s what matters most to me.

So with that in mind, this is a small compilation of lines that aren’t necessarily what I think was my best writing of the year but what i think serve as good milestones of learning to write for myself. There is a snippet from the first thing I wrote of the year, a snippet from the first fanfic I wrote of the year and also the first thing I wrote I truly had fun with in a while, a snippet from an rpg I played with @boxesfullofthoughts where we got to write letters from the perspectives of OCs and just run around wild without any pressure, and a snippet from an unpublished draft of my davenzi Star Wars au [which is the last thing I worked on, and yes I’m still working on it!]. I’m not sure if they show any progress of my writing skills per se but i think they show that I tried out different voices while trying to strengthen my own voice and like I’m pretty happy with the results because, again, I really enjoyed writing all of these things. 

So here’s to another year and another decade of writing what I want because I want to do it first and foremost. For those of you who like what I do, if you’re out there - I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your support. It’s the greatest privilege to share my voice and to know that people are actually listening. That’s all I can really say. <3

[skam-screaming]

Ok that was cute and all, but also what the hell Druck. this is going to be my one rant post about this because that last clip disappointed me so much, and then I will try my hardest not to come back to this again.

Why was it only three minutes long. Why. Why was today only 5 minutes long. This was supposed to send him off in a way that ties up loose ends and shows how his story is continuing, not whatever that was. Honestly I swear the writers this season were scared of writing actual dialogue. How many conversations did we have to watch Matteo and David have without being able to hear them? They wrote like 3 instances of good conversation and just noped out of the rest. It just feels really frustrating and kind of lazy. Like put in an actual conversation if you want to set up the fact that Matteo will continue to exist tomorrow, don’t leave me to try to extrapolate how he’s doing based off of 5 words and one noticeable shift in facial expression.

I mean seriously, it’s not like there was a lack of content that forced them to make the scene small. They spent all season setting up Sam and Abdi, now with no follow through. They didn’t do the weed scene even with AMPLE context from the beginning of the season. Matteo didn’t get to talk about David. We didn’t get to see any more of David’s dynamic with the boys. We didn’t get to see David and Matteo talk about life after graduation, which could have paralleled the little bit of conversation we DID see when they hung out the first time. They showed us a glimpse of them dancing but didn’t linger, when I’m sure everyone would have enjoyed that. They could have given us a hint as to how close Jonas and Hanna are to getting back together. The moment in the kitchen without the boys was always cute with evak but with Matteo and David they could have really gone somewhere with it, even with just a few lines between them, alone, showing both of them coming down from all the events of the past month. There was plenty. of opportunities. to expand. the clip.

Instead we got 5 minutes. All day. You know how they gave us so much freaking instagram content during the party? As great as it was, why didn’t they show some of that on screen? I can’t say for sure but I don’t think any of David’s art was shown in the clip? And if it was it wasn’t made clear where it came from. After this whole week kinda being focused on David realizing he has a support system and a people, that could have been a great way to really hammer it home! Just have someone compliment him on the art in the middle of the party! 1-2 lines, 30 seconds max, and you’re done! This clip felt like they ran out of time in the episode but Druck doesn’t have set times. Why did last season get 30 minute episodes and then this season, even when the occasion really really calls for it, they don’t even give us a good final clip that would have pushed the episode past the 23 minute mark. It’s like that one bad editor who was apparently in charge of week 8 escaped again and got ahold of todays clips. 

Ugh I’m just frustrated. There was so much potential for this final clip and I feel like it was just squandered and I don’t know why. It’s not even like they made an ill-advised decision to ignore certain things in order to draw the focus to other areas, they just didn’t address anything. David and Matteo cuddled. Matteo doesn’t know about the future but he’s happy now (you can tell because he looked at David. That’s what we wanted right? A clip where Matteo insinuates that David makes him happy? It’s not like they spent the entire season telling us that or anything, or that there’s any other relationship related things they could have focused on between them). Sam smoked all the weed, how funny. Did David even have have any lines? In either of the clips? It’s not like he played a vital part in this season and deserves a send off or anything.

This clip fell flat. It didn’t feel like the end, it didn’t tie up anything left dangling, it didn’t enhance our understanding of these characters in basically any way. After this fantastic week, I was expecting so much more.