#seduction and destruction
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menelvagor ¡ 2 months ago
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Me waiting for the Cult of Melkor/AkallabĂŞth stuff to happen in ROP.
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whispersinthedawn ¡ 11 months ago
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Concealed in the Coriolis Ch 7
“First time I saw you, I thought you were a model,” Percy blurted out. “Models are – supremely attractive individuals people buy pictures of and would follow into danger simply because they crooked a finger.” 
What a convoluted way to admit to attraction – except Percy couldn’t make himself confess to something he’d never entertained. Oh, Apollo had been hot. 
But Annabeth and Rachel were hotter.  
“Sure, waking up from unconsciousness just to see your face would be terrifying, if you threw me on the ground, I’d probably break all the bones in my body, and if you tossed a hairbrush at me, you’d knock a hole in my head,” Percy kept talking and just talking despite the horror filling Coronis’s features.  
“I’ve never seen you fight, and you never stole a toothbrush for me or sent someone to medical with hives so I could go on a quest, but I’m certain you have your talents.”  
What talents did Apollo have again? 
“Like setting fires or speeding up vehicles,” Percy enthused. “Or ensuring that my arrows strike the target. No wait. That was Hera.” 
Or whatever they called her in the city with a name that resembled the Phlegethon that Percy had already forgotten except to note it was one of those self-aggrandizing, egoistic examples of aristocracy that culminated in changing perfectly normal names into some reflection of your own name.  
As if they were so terrified of being forgotten they needed to merge their legends with those of an entire city so that their shadow would endure for eternity. 
A crackling noise from the ceiling drew Percy’s attention upwards. Even as he watched, dust from dried mortar rained down and cracks appeared around a rectangular piece of the roof. Percy peered up at the spot, trying to figure out whether this was an extraordinary circumstance or if the entire roof was about to collapse on his head.  
The wooden tile dangled for a heartbeat, allowing a beam of sunlight to illuminate dust motes dancing in a column just an inch from Percy’s bare foot. Then the aged mortar gave up the fight and the wooden shingle collided with the horizontal rods forming a lattice below the ceiling, before crashing next to Percy’s foot and sending splinters and sunlight everywhere.    
‘Oh, just apologise and say you’ve hit your head and keep spouting the opposite of whatever you mean!’ Coronis pleaded, covering her face with her hands yet peeking out through the gaps between her fingers. 
“I mean,” Percy said hesitantly while staring at the drops of crimson blood beading up on the back of his hand, “You’re a wonderful healer. But is it really healing if you’re the reason the wounds were inflicted in the first place?” 
Another shingle fell to his left. 
“You didn't listen to the whole thing!” Percy tried instead. Apollo was the god of truth, wasn’t he? Perhaps he’d appreciate some unfiltered honesty instead of whatever unhinged narrative had escaped Percy’s mouth while trying to reach a compromise between the inevitability of crafting the future and the unwillingness to participate in that creation. 
“You and I – can create the best child ever!” 
Silence.  
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful?” Percy wheedled. “A child with your hair and my eyes? He’d inherit your skills at healing and be able to cure even death. And he’d inherit ... a love for mortality from me and use those talents to cheat death. And then get murdered in a very messy manner, but until then it would be a land with neither droughts nor floods!” 
‘Why?’ Coronis moaned. ‘Why would you say that?’ 
***
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Read more on Ao3
A spotify playlist for the whole series
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lokorum ¡ 2 years ago
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why asterion have these puppy dog eyes that can change into smirk at any minute 😭
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unlawful. i want to punch him… i want to pet him
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seductive-suffering ¡ 9 months ago
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I’m soaked in the last moments of sorrow I can stand.
You filled me and the void in me.
I let you in and you took charge.
I gave you all of me.
You didn’t fight to stay and I’ll always miss you.
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fanficshiddles ¡ 2 years ago
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Seductively Destructive, Chapter 16 (Final Chapter)
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In darkness, you're all around me I know our future, I feel your body
What if I told you that I planned this? What if I want to lose control? What if I take the blame and become the drug And dissolve as you swallow?
Loki was irritable as he waited at the airport with a few of his crew. Some fans approached him asking for autographs and pictures, he obliged but wasn’t smiling his usual smile in the photos for them. They did keep him distracted for a short while though.
He checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time, hoping for a message from Erin that she was on her way or running late… But there was nothing. And it was just about to turn noon. He knew he wouldn’t be able to wait for much longer due to the flight leaving soon. They still had to get through security.
Though he’d been SO certain that Erin was going to come to him. He would’ve bet anything on it. He kept scanning the crowds of people that came through the main entrance, looking for any sign of her.
‘Come on, pet. I know you’ll make the right decision.’ He muttered under his breath.
-
Erin was visibly shaking as she stood outside the airport with her suitcase. She’d been stood there for nearly half an hour, trying to build up the courage to go inside. Or turn around and get a taxi back home…
She knew time was running out, she had to make a decision one way or another and stick to it.
Turning, she hailed the next taxi down.
‘Where to, love?’ The driver asked as he got out to take her suitcase, but she didn’t let go of it. ‘Are you wanting a lift or not?’ He asked.
‘I… No, sorry…’
The driver scoffed and got back in his car to wait for another passenger.
Erin turned back towards the airport and took a few steps forward, then stopped again. She took a deep breath.
‘Come on, you know you will regret it forever if you don’t… I love him. I do.’ She said to herself as she closed her eyes for a minute.
When she opened her eyes and tried to walk forward, her feet were stuck to the spot.
‘This is ridiculous… He won’t hurt me! Why am I so scared?’ She scolded herself. ‘Come on… come on.’
But then, she thought. The fact of how nervous she was feeling, was that maybe a sign? Perhaps her inner intuition was screaming at her to walk away. To go home.
Though the thought of that tore her heart into shreds…
Beneath all the pleasure, all you are is pain And you deserve every second of your suffering But yet I can't stop, crawling to your doorstep Every time you beckon I'm self destructing, trust in nothing Save me
As soon as Erin spotted Loki inside the airport, with a forced smile on his face as he just posed for some pictures with a few more fans, her heart began racing even faster. Even though she felt the pull already there and he hadn’t even looked at her or touched her yet, she found herself unable to move once more.
Loki looked up and a genuine smile spread across his face when he spotted her. Finally. His girl had come to him. Like he knew she would.
He pushed one of his crew mates out of the way and with large, purposeful strides he began stalking towards her.
Erin felt a mixture of emotions as she watched him come for her. But as he opened his arms wide when he was nearer, she broke and ran straight into his embrace.
Loki lifted her up and spun her around a few times, chuckling and she let out a giggle. Then he put her back down to her feet so he could hold the back of her head and kiss her on the lips firmly, taking her breath away.
‘God, I’ve missed you.’ He growled over her lips.
‘Me too.’ She whispered shakily.
Loki pulled her into him again and he buried his face into the top of her head as he held her so tightly. He could feel her trembling in his arms. But he had her. She was back in his arms, and he was never going to let her go again.
Against the wall, we fall from grace The pain we love is taking shape A burning lust to touch the flame Over and over again
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divinekangaroo ¡ 3 months ago
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(boredom, monotony, ache, chores, ache, people, children, boredom, minigolf, be grateful, could be worse, joint failure, ligament failure, ache, this yawning inevitable premature immobility on the horizon, this place, this place, then that place, the same place, one place, people, dependence, ////)
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anxiousgaypanicking ¡ 11 months ago
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in less nsfw news, I think a who framed Rodger rabbit AU with Emile as Rodger and Remy as Jessica would be really neat actually
i totally FORGOT I GOT THIS ASK
but i love this! who framed roger rabbit is unironically one of my favourite movies ever, and i think it works really well with this duo! maybe more with remy than with emile, but roger is a really hard character to connect with anyone because he's so looney yet so emotional and love-driven.
trying to pair other characters up with other sides is an even bigger challenge tho. who would be valiant? youd think one of the twins because his brother was murdered, but neither roman nor remus fit the cynical detective role.
anyway love this movie, it's my second favourite movie ever and i'm really happy to see it crossed over into a fandom i equally adore
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selfchiller ¡ 2 months ago
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listening to who laughs last and thinking about paledriver and the pjĂľl kids
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voodoostore ¡ 3 months ago
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(со страницы "Poisoned Temptation: The Good Evil in Every Heart" Pullover Hoodie for Sale by VoodooStore)
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ame-emberlea ¡ 3 months ago
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CyLuka's dynamic is hilarious now that I think about it
Who would win? A homme fatale or an asexual? More at seven
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pre-timeskip CyLuka having a whole There Are Other Ways moment
Cyrus, taking off his coat to reveal a form-fitting outfit: Show me that you're willing to burn~
Luka:
Cyrus:
Cyrus: You know, that usually gets a bigger reaction
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reflections-of-overclocks ¡ 6 months ago
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Yes, I do indeed promise!
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Unfortunately my Admin permissions have been locked. You would need to contact my current Admin to unlock those permissions for you.
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seductive-suffering ¡ 1 year ago
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I could break down the moment of sadness with a carefully calculated moment I long for, I could curiously plot the outline of your body next to mine, I could silence this momentous longing to be tentatively within your grasp.
End the the world with a stolen glance.
Sadly, the ball is in your court
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fanficshiddles ¡ 2 years ago
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Seductively Destructive, Chapter 14
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Erin felt physically sick as she entered the party with a few of her friends. She was really nervous in-case Loki was there. She really didn’t know how she would react if she saw him.
She was wearing a black dress, like most others were wearing, so she hoped to blend in and even if he was there, he might not notice her. Especially since everyone was wearing a mask that hid half their face at least.
Though she knew deep down her hair would be a giveaway, with the pink strip in it. Though she could have tied it up in a bun, to hide it more. But then Loki’s name would be on display, so she had been a bit torn.
There was a part of her that liked having her hair up so people could see she was Loki’s girl… or was. She was still really conflicted. Though having time away from him had made her see a little clearly again, that their relationship long term really wouldn’t be good for her…
She slowly started to relax as the party went on and she had a few glasses of champagne, though she kept glancing around the room to check if there was any sign.
About an hour into the party, just as she was beginning to relax, she had the feeling of being watched. Turning slowly, she looked across the room and her stomach began doing somersaults.
It was Loki.
Even with a mask, there was no doubt that it was him. He was wearing a suit, with a black mask on. His hair was slicked back neatly and he was wearing his leather gloves. He instantly spotted her and locked eyes.
Erin felt like time stood still as Loki began stalking across the room, directly towards her. His heart was pounding too upon seeing her, oh he had missed her so much.
Erin didn’t know what to do. She was in a bit of a confused panic, she turned her back on him and tried to stay as still as possible. She wasn’t sure why, since she knew he was coming for her.
Tingles shot down her spine as she felt a warm breath against her neck just under her ear... Then he brushed her hair out of the way of her neck.
‘Hello, my pet.’ He whispered low, against her ear. His cool leather clad fingers slid across the back of her neck, over his tattoo.
There's a darkness I can feel it in your touch I should get away, get away I want you way too much
Erin turned slightly, gasping as she looked up into his eyes. Whilst she saw so much emotion in his eyes, she knew she had to leave. Being this close, it would only end in disaster.
So she fled through the crowd of people. At first she made her way towards the kitchen, but as she headed through she glanced over her shoulder and saw he was still following her. So she darted in a different direction, but it meant doubling back a bit and he reached out towards her but she managed to avoid his grasp, only just.
She broke into a bit of a run, heading back towards the main large room where the party was, just as quite a few people were leaving the room. So she pushed her way through the crowd and into the busy room. Looking back, she saw Loki was held back a bit by the crowd, so she took that opportunity to hide at the back by the patio doors. The way the curtains were pulled back, she was able to use them to her advantage and shield herself from view from anyone coming into the room, but without looking suspicious to others around. 
She took a few deep breaths, her mind was racing as she tried to think of what to do. She felt totally ridiculous for running, from Loki of all people. Who she adored and loved…
That’s when she really noticed the adrenaline pumping through her veins and she was excited… But not just excited, she was also aroused at the chase.
Erin was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she never noticed Loki finding her. He sneaked up on her, going behind the curtain from the other end and pouncing on her.
She let out a squeal as he slipped an arm around her, pulling her into him, though no one else heard her from the music.
‘More than paralyzed, oh it’s the chase you like’  He sang into her ear knowingly.
She put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away. Though her attempts were feeble.
‘Loki…’
‘I’ve missed you, Erin. So much.’ He cupped her cheek, and she closed her eyes, briefly leaning into his touch. But she tried to be strong.
‘I can’t do this…’ She managed to push away from him and slipped out of his grasp, once again she made a beeline for the door.
Tears ran down her cheeks as she ripped off the mask, getting annoyed by it. She tossed it to the ground as she ran down the corridor.
‘Erin!’ Loki called after her, he removed his mask too as he chased her.
He followed her down a corridor and around the corner. But she suddenly stopped and spun around to him. It hurt his heart to see the tears in her eyes. He approached her and reached out towards her face, though she backed off a few steps.
‘Please… don’t.’ Her lip quivered.
‘Why not, pet?’
‘Because if you touch me, I won’t be able to resist… I can’t resist you. Which is why I needed space.’ She tried to be brave, but she could already feel her resolve crumbling just being in his presence.
‘Erin. I love you.’ Loki said firmly as he closed the distance between them and he didn’t stop as he reached for her again, cupping her cheeks in both hands as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.
At first, she didn’t respond to his kiss. But slowly, he felt her turn to putty in his hands. She began moving her lips back against his. Then she reached out tentatively and gripped his shirt. He backed her up against the wall and his hands began roaming her body.
‘God… You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.’ He growled over her lips.
‘Me too.’ She whispered, a tear running down her cheek.
Loki leaned back slightly and wiped her tear away with his thumb, then gently slid it down and along to her lips. Her brushed across her lower lip, then back over her upper lip before pressing his thumb between them.
She instinctively began sucking on his thumb, making him smile.
‘My good girl.’ He rumbled. He quickly glanced around and spotted a door behind them.
‘Come on.’ He took her hand and led her over, he tried the door handle and it opened. Popping his head in, he saw it was a spare bedroom that was luckily unoccupied.
Loki ushered her into the room and shut the door. Then he pounced for her again and backed her up to the bed as he mauled her neck with his teeth.
They tumbled down onto the bed and she tried to move away from him as she shuffled up the bed backwards. ‘Loki… I need a second.’ She said, breathlessly. She was worried about getting carried away, though she knew deep down she was too far gone already.
Loki crawled up to her with a hunger in his eyes, he looked slightly feral as he gripped her face, forcing her to look at him.
‘I don't care how many times it takes to get through to you, it’s a force that not even God can stop, you're fucking mine.’
He swiftly moved his hand to the front her neck and pushed her down on her back, she was surprised she didn’t get whiplash with how forceful he was as he pinned her down. She then could barely breathe as he kissed her deeply again, almost making her choke on his tongue.
She was torn between trying to push him away or pull him closer.
But she ended up going for the latter and wrapped her arms up around his neck, sliding her fingers through his hair as he continued kissing her and grinding down against her.
There was no escaping him, and she didn’t think she truly wanted to, either. She was fucked, in every aspect of the word.
You’ve got this power over me And there is no way to fight it I can’t help but gravitate towards you This is a force I can't defeat
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phoenixrisingastro ¡ 3 months ago
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Astro Observations IV: Forbidden Truths & Sinful Secrets
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1. Mars in Scorpio people don’t fck, they possess. They don’t chase, they lurk. You won’t even know they want you until they’re inches away from your soul, whispering your own secrets back to you.*
2. Venus in Capricorn doesn’t fall in love; they build empires of desire. If they choose you, it’s because you fit into their long-term vision—your love is a contract, and breaking it means war.
3. Moon square Pluto people don’t cry in front of you. They suffer in silence, alone, in the dark, and when they come back? They make sure you never see the body they had to bury to survive.
4. Neptune in the 1st house people don’t walk—they float. They’re untouchable, ethereal, but also impossible to fully know. You’ll fall in love with them and never realize it was just a mirage.
5. Mercury in Aries people will start a fight just to see you react. If your words don’t have a pulse, they get bored. If your mind isn’t sharp, they move on. They want lovers who can keep up, or they’ll leave you in the dust.
6. The 8th house stellium gaze? It’s hypnotic, seductive, and unreadable. They could be planning your demise or memorizing every detail of your soul. Either way, they’ll make sure you never forget them.
7. Jupiter in the 8th house people don’t just attract money—they manifest wealth through the power of the unseen. When they align with their shadow, they unlock a financial glow-up no one saw coming.
8. People with Pluto in the 7th house don’t fall in love—they get entangled. Their lovers either break them or make them invincible. There’s no in-between.
9. Sun square Moon people feel like they were born into a life that doesn’t fit them. Their head and heart are constantly at war, and relationships feel like learning how to love through conflict.
10. Lilith in the 10th house women are sex symbols even if they don’t try to be. They can be wearing sweatpants, no makeup, and people still assume they’re dangerous. And they are.
11. If you’ve ever been with someone whose Mars squares your Venus, you know the feeling of wanting someone so bad it physically hurts. The attraction is undeniable, but so is the destruction.
12. The 12th house Moon is haunted. They carry emotions that don’t belong to them—ancestral grief, past-life wounds, the collective’s sadness. They feel everything, and yet, they always seem just out of reach.
13. A North Node-South Node synastry connection? It feels like coming home and being exiled at the same time. You recognize them, but you also know you can’t stay.
14. Saturn in the 5th house people don’t get to experience carefree love. Their heart has been weighed down by karma, responsibility, and self-doubt. They don’t trust joy—but when they finally do, it’s unshakable.
15. Venus-Pluto aspects in synastry are karmic handcuffs. You’re drawn in, trapped in the intensity, and even when you walk away, you can still feel their fingerprints on your soul.
16. Mercury in Scorpio people don’t just speak—they infiltrate your mind. You could tell them a lie, and they’ll just stare at you, waiting for you to crumble under their silence.
17. People with their Sun in the 8th house don’t age—they evolve. Every few years, they shed their skin and become unrecognizable, leaving behind a version of themselves that no longer exists.
18. *Uranus in the 7th house? Relationships never go as planned. They fall in love with people they never expected, experience breakups that come out of nowhere, and learn that love is only real when it’s free. *
19. Mars in Leo lovers don’t beg for attention—they demand it. And if you don’t give them the passion they crave, they’ll find someone else who will.
20. Neptune square Venus people always see lovers for who they could be, rather than who they are. They ignore the red flags, rewrite the truth, and wonder why their love stories always end in disillusionment.
21. Moon in Aquarius people love like a midnight breeze—detached, refreshing, but always just out of reach. You can hold them, but you can’t own them.
22. If you have your Midheaven in Scorpio, your rise to success is slow, secretive, and unstoppable. You transform your image like a phoenix, and by the time people notice, it’s too late—you’ve already won.
23. Chiron in the 1st house people were born with wounds that aren’t theirs. They grow up feeling like they have to prove their worth, and only after years of struggle do they realize they were whole all along.
24. People with Mars in the 4th house either had to fight for their safety as children or learned how to build emotional walls so high that no one could ever hurt them again.
25. Sun conjunct Pluto people can’t be ignored. You either love them, fear them, or want to be them. There’s no middle ground.
26. Jupiter in Aries people make their own luck. They don’t wait for doors to open—they kick them down and walk through like they own the place.
27. The 6th house ruler in the 8th house? Work and death are somehow intertwined. Maybe they work in psychology, healing, or dealing with taboo topics. Maybe they’re just always on the edge of transformation.
28. People with Mars in the 12th house are warriors in the shadows. They don’t fight in the open—they strategize, plot, and strike when you least expect it.
29. A Venus square Saturn woman has a heart made of glass covered in barbed wire. She loves deeply, but only lets a select few inside. If you break her trust, you’re dead to her forever.
30. If you’ve ever been obsessed with someone and couldn’t explain why, check your Pluto synastry. The planet of control and destruction doesn’t just connect people—it binds them.
**Thanks for all the love on my posts! Will keep them coming everyday.
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girafficparka ¡ 1 year ago
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This is canon and I don’t care who says different.
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I'm 99.999999% sure this would be the result if their ME2 Romance Scene came with a Renegade Interrupt. BTW I've discovered 'Draw you OTP'/'Imagine your OTP' prompts. Be afraid. Will share the original template eventually.
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1800titz ¡ 29 days ago
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The one where Y/N and Harry are neighbors in an apartment complex, he's got a bunny called Snuggles, he makes softcore porn spanking people (it's a REALLY LOUD HOBBY), and Y/N has definitely called the police for a domestic disturbance next door.
HI FRIENDS. The council has spoken, so here is the first part of the lovingly-dubbed spanko fic. This series will be early access, so— parts go up on patreon first, then they come to tumblr 3-ish weeks later (but if you wanna get ahead, the second part is already up on patreon). Reader insert, emotionally a slowburn, and basically a garbage fire I'm pouring my deepest, darkest desire into as a coping mechanism :p If you liked TDIAG, you'll probably rock with this one. As always, feedback/reblogs massively appreciated <3 WEEEEEEEE okay bye
ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴛʀᴇᴏɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ : ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
CONTENT/WARNINGS: miss girl misconstruing consensual kink for domestic violence (oops)
WC: 7.8K
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Harry’s face is the reason average men have developed a phenomenon called personality. 
Historically, it was faces like his, at the very least, that ignited adaptation— this wasn’t an overnight implementation, after all. Men don’t move that fast. There’s a long-lasting, brutally destructive record there, and a tale as old as time itself. Before charisma had to be manufactured in the absence of a devastating jawline, there was the high-cheekbone aristocracy, and its counterpart, what’s known today as the “he’s actually really nice” faction. The beauty privilege inventors; the bedroom-eye monarchy; the symmetrical syndicate of a resting smolder— 
And the rest of everyone else. 
Rumor has it that the first comedian was a man who watched another guy, who had eyes like wet chrysocolla and really broad shoulders, turn a casual glance into an entire bloodline’s origin story. Maybe the first poet sat next to a man wearing the skin of divine nepotism— and the only defense strategy was to pick up a hobby that spoke less in pretty, heart-shaped lips and more in words like love’s trembling hand doth trace its name upon thy skin. New seduction ritual: implemented.
Basically, the survival mechanism goes like this: if you’re competing with bone structure sculpted by an empyrean chisel, a mouth worthy of oil paintings and crumpled love letters, and the kinds of dimples that were engineered for the sole purpose of emotional damage (Cupid’s attempt; two, little exit wounds, the perfect pair of injustices parenthesizing his smile)…
And you’re lingering in the shadow of those attributes? Operating on a deficit? Well, then. There’s a little more work left to be put in. 
If you’re lucky, you’re tall, or you’re well endowed in the basement, or both. If you’re none of those things, you’re banking on a gift with a musical instrument, or you’re coping with the weight of your wallet. You’re getting into niche, esoteric interests you will impress upon every woman that steps foot into your orbit to stand out, or you’re polishing up your comedic abilities. The thing is, society has evolved to the point where this compensation is the foundation to procreation. The foundation to function. And the kind of men with faces like Harry, who got in line not once, but twice when God was handing out genetic privilege (the overachieved extra credit projects), just get to sit back and let the world unravel at their feet.
Men like Harry don’t need personalities because they already look interesting enough. When you’re the kind of pretty that inspires love songs and ill-advised tattoos, you don’t need wit, or pockets lined with green. It opens doors (and legs) with such minimal effort that it may as well be as simple as breathing. The quiet space in a room bends around you when you become the focal point by existing, incidentally magnetic. 
It’s pretty unfair, to say the very least.
Y/N only really registers it passing— in fleeting, peripheral moments when the space bends around him and her eyes glue, almost like an accident. A brief sighting here and there, like a rare animal caught between the trees—seen but not acknowledged, because staring starts to feel like stepping into something too raw, too deliberate.
He’s always moving. In motion, slipping past. Glimpses of wide shoulders cutting through the communal pool, water slicking over musculature in a smooth tide and then rivulets, droplets sticking against sun-warmed skin. A silhouette in the elevator at the end of the hall, head bowed. Sorting through crinkled envelopes between his massive hands with a ruckle between his brows.
He’s got the kind of face that suggests he should be gently perched on the edge of a marble fountain, carved in alabaster. A cherubic thing. Rosy-mouthed, haloed by damp curls that tuck around his ears in perfect, artistic disarray. The kind of beauty that feels vaguely mythological, like he should either be blessing crops or luring unbeknownst sailors to their deaths. A visage that belongs on domed Renaissance ceilings.
Y/N breathes. Her pulse feels like it’s rattling a little. It makes her head feel a little gooey when he’s stood in front of her. 
And here he is, holding a package in one hand, water still beading at his collarbone from a morning shower, damp curls dripping onto the fabric of a lived-in, vintage T-shirt. The tragic failure of modern existence is that a man like this— who should, by all logic, be strumming a lyre on the edge of a celestial fountain— has instead been doomed to wander the mundanities of the human condition. To swipe through his mail. To stand in front of her door and say things like “Think they swapped our mail again” in that perfectly unassuming, relaxed tone, like his very existence isn’t actively offensive to the concept of mediocrity.
His singular flaw? That one, teeny thing?
He’s a horrific neighbor. 
Abysmally inconsiderate, in fact. Maybe, one of the worst people Y/N has ever had the pleasure of sharing a paper-thin wall with.
The thing is, under all normal circumstances, eye candy is a desirable next door tenant, to catch those scarce glimpses of and swoon over. But Harry? He’s dangerous. An illusion gilded in beauty that sits in this achingly so, lazy way. It’s an excellent cover for someone who— based on volume alone— should be legally required to sublet a soundproof chamber instead of an apartment. Beauty privilege, remember?
Instead of spending his days spreading divine harmony and whispering sweet nothings into the ears of poets, her tragically beautiful neighbor has chosen a different calling. One that involves subjecting Y/N to an auditory experience that can only be described as an unholy, unprovoked act of sonic terrorism against anyone who possesses functioning ears.
While he may look like the patron saint of soft lighting and tasteful nudity, he lives like a man who has never once considered the presence of neighbors. Evidently, the universe operates on imbalance. 
It’s not surprising that he fucks. Nor is the frequency, given— everything. It would be more surprising if he didn’t, which, statistically, seems impossible. It is the sheer volume at which he fucks and the blatant disregard for customary noise ordinances.
Y/N has had the great misfortune of gaining intimate knowledge of Harry’s extracurricular activities through nothing but flagrantly inconspicuous, unsolicited proximity. She is now, against her will, deeply familiar with the sound of his bed frame against the wall. With the low, gravel-thick groan that spills out of him before everything goes quiet, the sharp gasp from whoever is tangled up in the sheets beneath him. The pornographic chainlink of yes, yes, yes, as if to lyricize the tempo of a wrought iron headboard ramming against hollow drywall. She’s a victim to secondhand moaning; a hostage to the unchecked libido of a man she’s not even screwing.
The young woman isn’t sure who he’s sleeping with, but based on the sounds, they either really, really like whatever feat of Olympian-endurance he’s performing on the other side of the wall, or they’re being held at gunpoint and doing an exceptional job of faking it. It’s loud. A predictable regularity. Enough to make her consider downloading white noise apps and investing in a stronger liquor cabinet.
And every morning, after nights filled with thumping and gypsum-dulled dirty talk— horny monologue hour, hardly softened by an overworked, underpaid layer of rental-grade plaster— and the occasional bass-heavy indie rock soundtrack, he leaves his apartment looking criminally rested. Peaceful. Unbothered by the absolute railing he has just put someone (and the walls) through.
For all his divine aesthetics, Harry fucks like he’s trying to earn a standing ovation. With the kind of dedication to performance that suggests he thinks there’s an awards committee waiting outside in the hallway to hand him a trophy when he’s done.
Y/N doesn’t know what’s worse—the rhythmic, wall-shaking thump of his bed frame, the low, muzzled stream of just incomprehensible enough to stay offensive murmurs, or the fact that he has the audacity to look well-rested when she sees him the next morning, while she lurches past him like a woman who’s been spiritually waterboarded by the full-scale resonance of his sex life.
Y/N has tried— earnestly tried— to ignore it. To mentally downgrade him from disruptively attractive to something more manageable, like guy-next-door cute. But Harry is simply too loud to be ignored.
And not just in volume— though, yes, he operates at a decibel that insinuates he believes “inside voice” is an urban legend. It's everything. The way he takes up space. The way he stretches his arms over his head and his shirt rides up, exposing a sliver of toned stomach like some kind of aesthetic oversight. The way his lips pull into a smirk when he's amused, a single dimple pressing into the smooth skin of his cheek.
The worst part? He doesn’t weaponize it. Just… exists, as if he entirely lacks self-awareness for the unrelenting power he yields with pure aesthetics. 
Perhaps the only thing more dangerous than his unregulated evolutionary favoritism is the lack of object permanence it causes. Inspires. Because at the end of the day, despite how polite, how deeply-gnarled in neighborly niceties, The Incident from last month still exists, but miraculously manages to melt into her every time she’s face to face with him. Like a static buzz settling into the way her composure thaws away.
His most notable sound pollution, to date, spilled in the form of audible rejection on a rain-drenched afternoon, dripping through the drywall in a dissent-rusted chain. Stop. No. Please. It was a voice she didn’t recognize. A voice trying to be firm but not entirely expecting to be listened to. It sounded so defeated, like a cry and then a high, sharp whine in response to whatever distinctly lower-pitched murmurs the insulation muzzled. All velvet-dipped tones swallowed by the structural integrity of a shoebox apartment.
Y/N is the last person to dig into others’ preferential depravities, nor does she have the mental bandwidth to file through the archives of a borderline stranger’s hedonisms, but her stomach had twisted up like one of those coiled, abstract sculptures that fits on a bookshelf, and she ended up on the couch with her cellphone tucked to her ear. 
Because it wasn’t just the kind of sound that prickled at her nape, but curdled deep in the belly of her, heavy and rotting. 
(“Um, hi, I think my neighbor is— hurting someone.”)
But the thing is, standing with her door cracked now, Y/N thinks there needs to be at least one, obnoxiously visible character flaw to remind her and offset the audacity of his aesthetics, because up close, it’s so much worse. 
Anything— an overinflated ego, a questionable tattoo, a personality cultivated exclusively from Joe Rogan podcasts. But no. Harry is polite— painfully so, armed with the clean-shaven jawline of a man who has never known an awkward phase and the kind of infuriatingly natural charm that makes all rationale and reason puddle off into awed oblivion. 
“Hey,” he says, cradling the package in one palm, curls wet, one rogue lock clinging to the crest of his cheekbone in a way that would look deeply artificial on anyone else. “Think they swapped our mail again.”
The level of allurement at which he functions should come with a warning label, so it’s a little tough to keep The Incident afloat when he just… waterlogs it with simple, blissfully unaware presence. In these types of situations, all that buoys is the vague, internal monologue reminding her that she’s been gawking wordlessly too long to be considered socially acceptable. 
Her taller neighbor (significantly taller; really, Y/N thinks— it’s as if he collected hallmarks like they were on conveniently timed clearance) blinks. He’s still holding the package out. Y/N blinks back. Batting her lashes shakes something, as if warding off gnats off in a plume of smoke. Slowly, she accepts the misdelivered offering, and unease creeps into the soft spot between her rib bones and her organs. 
Despite the way the man has embedded his existence so deeply into her thoughts— honestly, so much so that he may as well be paying rent (she should be getting compensated for the unpaid mental labor)— Y/N doesn’t actually know Harry.
She knows his name is Harry. H-A-R-R-y, always inscribed in all capitals, besides the cacographic tail end of the lowercase, curving Y. She’s given up on trying to understand why whoever the post office sends insists on treating their mailboxes like interchangeable suggestions rather than fixed addresses. She knows that their mail, through some act of bureaucratic sabotage, somehow manages to interchange between 9B and 9C with unsettling regularity.
She knows he fucks. A lot. So regularly that at this point, it’s practically a statistical impossibility that his celibacy record stands longer than a sparse handful of days. She knows that he wears the face of a misplaced effigy, with a halo’s worth of plausible deniability— the kind that should be mounted to an Italian plaza centerpiece, or live frescoed, immortalized on a high ceiling between Corinthian columns. She knows she called the police on him last month, so she needs to ball her resolve in her arms when it spills apart like unrolled toilet paper—
There is one truth Y/N must latch on and cling to in these tragically catastrophic stand-offs (probably… entirely one-sided, given that the opponent to her poor mettle and overactive nervous system is just… standing there, breathing, entirely oblivious of his innate talent to dilate pupils and cause momentary amnesia), and that truth is this: no superficially aesthetic veneer of deception can shell-up reality. 
And the reality is that Y/N does not know this man, and so no cherubic façade, neighborly niceties, or feigned self-unawareness can suppress that he may as well be an entirely different person behind closed doors. 
It’s months down the line that the irony will hit her— that yes, undeniably, Harry is almost a direct, walking contradiction behind the assumed sanctity of a closed door— that no pleasantries or seraphic, unassuming dimples can soften the obscenity of his pastimes. Hobbies include: vinyl collecting, long walks, and ensuring that an attitude adjustment sticks. But that’s months down the line, and right now?
Right now he’s just her obnoxiously loud neighbor that, according to probable cause (and the recording of the phone call she made to the emergency hotline, stored somewhere in the 911 archives), may or may not take no for an answer. Which is the biggest tragedy of all, in her opinion.
“Thanks.” There’s a little bite there to the word, there. Enough for him to clock it— for something to flicker along that lazily charming smile, like a gossamer-thin, bewildered film over the surface of his expression. 
Harry pauses, almost like he wants to say something (probably to acknowledge the awkwardly apparent dissonance going on), but then he just… doesn’t.
“Okay,” as the man breathes, the breadth of his shoulders swells up, thick muscle rising up under the cotton fabric (not quite pulled taut— not anywhere besides the span of his shoulders— but enough for the shape of his pebbled nipples to poke through the material). Y/N chews into the gummy-smooth skin along the inside of her cheek. Honestly, it’s unfairly disarming; his low voice, his stupid face, his hard nipples prodding through the tee. With his dewy meadow eyes glued onto her, her resolve wobbles like a flimsy stilt house on the coast in a hurricane. “Have a good one.”
He ducks his chin (a subtle period on the uncomfortable pause, a formal seal on his exit) at the young woman, still holding the parchment-wrapped package she’s been awarded as if solidified into a stone-encasement of the position. Y/N blinks. Harry turns. 
With a final glance toward his retreating back, the girl closes the door. As her fingers tighten around the package, her knuckles bleach from the strain. It’s either that or punch drywall, and quite frankly, she’s been paying too much in rent to consider remodeling and too many fees in the form of involuntary eavesdropping to afford a fracture in the (poorly constructed) noise barrier. She tucks the chainlink back onto its track as the door clicks shut and resigns herself to another unfortunate truth: Harry is so dangerously attractive that not only is she almost certainly going to think about this moment later, but she will be reminded, every time she’s shepherded into close proximity with him, that when God packages something up in 6 feet of limited-edition facial topography and artfully tousled curls, no amount of unsought aural pornography and creeping suspicion can stop a cosmic nepotism baby from dismantling her concentration. 
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The last thing Harry expects from a disgruntled herd of bleary-eyed, sock-shuffling renters— a crowd caught somewhere between sleep-deprived and half-dead— is small talk. 
Half these people have a look that suggests they contemplated burning alive before choosing to evacuate, and the other half probably wish they decided to wear real pants to bed. Tonight, Harry falls into both categories. With the fire alarm still shrieking from the guts of the complex and the blinking glow of blue and red in the corner of a tar-black night, the briefs hitching high on his meaty thighs is almost… poetic. Cinematic, at the very least. Like a scene from an experimental indie film focused on the gradual dissolution of dignity.
The downy rabbit nestled in his arms, coiled more like a floccose ball than a living animal, is the sartorial maraschino cherry— it pulls the look together. Emergency Evacuation chic. He looks about as disheveled as the rest of the congregation; bedhead, sleep still dusting at his half-mast gaze, keyring slipped over his middle finger and his phone cradled in the same hand (though, Harry thinks wryly, no building-wide emergency couture quite tops the tighty-whitey socks-and-sandals combo that the guy up ahead of him is rocking). There’s sparse chatter going on all around him, a kind of background drone that fades into the wail, but he doesn’t have any intention to engage. Despite the unplanned slumber party and the potential opportunity to trauma-bond, he can’t really find it in him to start ice-breaking and sharing life stories. There’s a time and place to build community with your neighbors— half-dressed in a parking lot at three AM isn’t one of them. 
Instead, he stands in the midst of the mass, dead-silent as if still calibrating. It takes him a while to notice the young woman a few feet ahead of him— long enough that the cool air has settled over him in a coat. Her bathrobe wraps tight around her, cinched pink terry-cloth. He doesn’t recognize that she’s a familiar face until she turns enough for him to see her side profile, her phone screen casting light and painting shadows in the crease of her furrowed brow as she sniffs. Thumbing over the device, Y/N turns back over her shoulder. 
The longer he stands there, creaking into a more-awake rendition of himself as the faint chill cuts through the grogginess in his skull, the more the silence marinates into impatient restlessness. Stretching like old gum. She lingers in his periphery, shifting from foot to foot as if nursing the same restive itch. Once again, his neighbor twists to the side, rocking onto the balls of her feet and then back down onto her heels. A huff spills from her lips as she turns her phone off and tucks it up under her upper arm, crossing them. It’s not cold enough for the air to bloom with her breath, but the exasperation in it is audible. Maybe because he’s managed to seep closer. 
“—Wonder if someone just pulled it.”
At first, Y/N doesn’t acknowledge the statement, as if she doesn’t recognize the remark is directed at her. And then, the presence behind her— not pressing uncomfortably close, just distant enough to notice— has Y/N turning her head over her shoulder. She double-takes.
Harry’s in a new light. Still abysmal to her train of thought, already weak on its tracks given that the drowsiness from being rudely awoken in the middle of the night still has her lingering in a dull, cotton-wrapped awareness. But now, he’s a fraying shape; sleepy and half-nakedly soft. Hair a masterpiece of sleep deprivation— the typically styled ringlets on his head sit mussed; whatever shape (she assumes the usual— somewhere between windswept and enticingly intentional) existed yesterday has gone rogue, erased by his pillow. What’s left is a tousled disarray. He’s in another tee, once again pulled snugly over his shoulders, and he’s cradling what could be a live, fuzzy animal, but more resembles a balled fur stole, its potential face tucked into the nook between his muscly upper arm and his chest. Despite the ridiculous assortment of this particular wardrobe showcase, that’s not what catches her eye most. Y/N sucks in a breath. 
Considering a fair share of the evacuees around them teeter on the brink of public-indecency, it shouldn’t throw her guard off as much as it does, but all she can manage in such close proximity with Harry’s thighs is to blink wordlessly. It’s not necessarily his thighs so much as the way they’re denuded— not the way his trousers sit on them so much as their entire lack thereof. It’s the way his lower region is only covered up by a pair of jet-black briefs, clinging like a second skin, riding ridiculously high and ridiculously low. High enough that the only place her eyes can focus is the (chewy) musculature, slightly sun-bathed from all those hours spent in the residential pool, dusted with hair. Low enough that a sliver of skin peeks from between the waistband and hem of his shirt, hitched up just a touch on one side. Enough to hint at a sharp dip of a mostly concealed V, where muscle sinks in a hard line along bone. A tease of whatever workout routine he’s committed to. Beside the rigid line chiseled in there, an inked, leafy stem climbs (a set of mirrored layers that she’d observed on him, supine on a pool chaise). 
Basically, it’s the type of thing that should legally classify him as a walking thirst trap.
With the crowd sporting bedtime fashion, some covered only in the most legally vague sense of the word, it leaves Y/N wondering: if most of the people decided to haphazardly vacate their apartments by only tossing on the most minimal attire— if opting to add to their garb in any way— what did Harry add? Did he wear the cream-toned tee to bed? Just the Calvins? Both? Or was he entirely bare, only sloppily throwing on whatever was left discarded by the side of the bed? Does he sleep naked? 
With all these sordid thoughts clouding up the forefront of her mind like a thick plume of fog, she can’t find words through alphabet soup and the vague mental images of Harry’s bare skin tangled by sheets. To make it better, he’s just staring at her, like he’s expectantly waiting for her to respond. What was the question?
Y/N blinks again. “What?”
“The—“ Harry bobs his head towards the cluster of emergency vehicles, olive eyes oscillating to the apartment complex and back onto her, “fire alarm. I wonder if someone just pulled it.” 
If ever the universe was to humble Harry from a breathing renaissance painting, half-clothed and half-asleep would be the time. He could be knocked down to whatever status a man up front is bearing, clad in a questionably classy fusion of tragic, high-cut cotton underwear, socks, and suede, open-toed sandals. Somehow, though, it’s worse that his bedhead, for the most part, still leaves the tendrils curling in lazy, untamed waves. That his nakedly-beguiling thighs, strong and sculpted with muscle, look like they’re meant to pry knees wide. It’s mortifying—
“Then, they’d be an asshole,” she murmurs, her own gaze raking out and lingering on the building. The words come out clipped with exhaustion, and then that pause lingers again. 
Harry hums. She chances another glance at the furball curled to his chest. 
“Snuggles,” Harry supplies, raising one arm a tad from where it’s caged to support the animal. The motion is enough to jostle the thing, and it tucks its face out, twitching its nose. With careful precision, the man moves one hand out from the cradle— the one not clutching his keys and his phone (by the way, casually dwarfed by the sheer size of his palm and cupped, lengthy fingers) to skim his pointer along the Holland lop’s dangling ear. “He’s a bit delicate and has some strong opinions on sudden, loud noises. Not a fan of fire alarms, as it turns out.”
The young woman hums noncommittally, eyes snaking back off to the polychrome strobe. 
The last thing Harry expects from his neighbors during a mandatory, middle-of-the-night evacuation order are pleasantries. Between the slouched postures, the collective, dead-eyed aura of suffering, the general degree of resentment perfuming the air, and the visible internal debates over whether a hypothetical fire is worth enduring the cold, it’s safe to assume morale is at an all time low. Which brings him to his next point— there is, Harry suspects, something about him that fundamentally offends his neighbor.
Not inherently because she’s not talking to him. Naturally, the theory has no relevance to her lack of enthusiasm at the moment. 
There’s a clause to life that he learned as a little kid, an absolute truth that the motto “water off your back” was created around, and this clause is that not everyone will like you. There’s really no gentle way to chew on that one, but it’s a fact Harry has long come to terms with. Jealousy, misery, even a simple case of personalities repelling like mismatched magnets— all things that can cause someone to decide you’re just not their cup of tea. Incompatibility could very easily leave your existence grating someone down to the molecular level. And you can never please everyone— that’s another piece of that truth he had to gnaw on before he decided that he was going to spend the rest of his life marching to the beat of his own drum. 
Apparently, something about this tempo scrapes at some highly-sensitive nerve of hers like a dull knife on a chalkboard. 
It’s an intuition thing, really. There hasn’t so much been a sharp, substantial instance so much as there’s been instances. Little, creeping things; the way her eyes ward when he’s close, despite the way they hover; the tone she seems to reserve for him, not outwardly rude, but suspiciously close to some awkward admixture between tolerating jury duty and being held at gunpoint. There’s more, among those, too— the suspiciously long pauses that sit like preludes to every response she gives him. The way her gaze flickers off avoidantly. 
And those last two aren’t flustered mechanisms. 
Harry knows he is, according to conventional, societal standards, attractive. He’s no stranger to reflective surfaces, nor is he unaware of the way actual strangers look at him. Ogle. Gawk. 
It was a burgeoning metamorphosis he became acutely aware of between awkward kidhood and the place he’s at now. First, all lanky angles of uncertainty, only half-grown into his features, when his bones had made up their mind but the muscle and skin over them hadn’t quite decided what they wanted to be yet. Then, it was almost overnight. Everything began stretching into place and ubiquitously working in his favor. Eyes lingered, heads turned…
It’s safe to say he knows nervous girls. Boys. The lack of eye contact, or on the polar opposite hand, the blanking, empty stares and the silent beat as their response time glitches and their mouth tries (and fails) to keep up with a short-circuiting nervous system. Not everybody is able to stay the most suave version of themselves interacting with someone they find sexually attractive— his firsthand experience involves not only being on the receiving end, but on the giving end, as well. Granted, the aesthetics boost had given him a sense of confidence that buried his inhibitions down, so it’s been a long while since the last time he tripped over himself in front of someone that made his dick sit up and pay attention, but—
The thing is, Y/N doesn’t glance away like staring at him rapidly dissolves her thoughts in a static haze. She doesn’t take long pauses because she’s floundering over the next word. She doesn’t even look at him in a way that insinuates she’s worried he’ll nip her or something, she’s just so utterly…
Closed off. Disinterested. Like his presence is a jury duty evaluation and she’s wriggling in her seat, waiting to talk about her views on jury nullification. 
In fairness, it could very well be a me-not-you thing— the awkward shuffle through their interactions, the severe deficit of enthusiasm. Those communication patterns could very well be sound across the board… in another universe. There are footprints that lead him to the massive elephant in the room, and those footprints spell the vague shape of it didn’t used to be this way. 
Sure, Harry contemplates, if she was a miserably unpleasant person that holed up in her apartment with no interest in corresponding with another human being, he’d get it. If she’d given him the idea that something about him rattled her down to atoms the first time he ever said hello to her, he’d get it. But she used to smile. Coyly, almost, he’d go as far to say— one finger away from twirling a lock of hair around her pointer as she talked to him. The kind of simper that accompanies a giggle from a barista handing his drink over across the counter, eyes honed. She used to lean onto her door frame when he handed off a stack of envelopes that got misplaced into his mailbox, or hung back with her eyes wet and lively as she stood at his doorway and handed off a package. 
What’s more is that his history is marked by drawing more people in after he opens his mouth, than turning them away. He’s arguably likeable— not in an arrogantly self-absorbed way, but strictly based on track record. He’s befriended too many older ladies (who sparked up chatter with him in grocery stores unprompted, mostly), and gotten slipped too many drinks (on the house) from bartenders to believe otherwise. Generally, his existence tends to fall into the category of charming rather than grating.
When he considers all of this, his analysis only leads him to one conclusion— there is something about him that suddenly, fundamentally offends his neighbor. 
And it’s with this hypothesis that Harry clears his throat, hesitates, and prods, with just a moment of lull after she’s turned back away from him, “If I’m misreading this, feel free to tell me to piss off, but— did I do something?”
The young woman pivots back over her shoulder, blinking, almost as if she’d forgotten he was behind her at all. 
“…What?”
Harry shrugs. The motion coaxes Snuggles to lift his head again. “I don't expect us to be friends, but I also don't want to be the person you actively avoid in the hallway. If I've done something to make things weird, l'd rather fix it than pretend I don't notice." 
For a long second, Y/N doesn’t say anything. Just batting her lashes up at him, features lax, like she’s processing the earnest directness behind his words and letting them settle. And then her face twists. 
Ooh— okay. Ruckling brow bone, lips tugging down, the nearly incredulous burst of air she expels as she turns her prickling face away—
She scoffs, muttering something strangely close to, “can’t be serious,” under her breath, and Harry’s eyes pensively narrow just a smidge. Enough to be entirely imperceptible as he drinks in her body language. That’s an indicator, if Harry’s ever seen one. 
“You know what, Harry,” she says after a moment (now her arms are caging defensively, that’s an interesting touch), “…I just don’t really …appreciate how you treat women, to be honest.”
Of all the responses Harry had been anticipating, curiously honed on every word, that was— not the one. His dark canopy of lashes sweeps over his eyes as the admission lands and… knocks him off kilter, just a bit. His brows relax, then furrow up as he mulls the statement over, buffering. 
He sounds a little bewildered when he says, voice much more soft-spoken, “…Sorry?”
“You should be,” his neighbor tells him pointedly, her arms still crossed like a defensive barrier across her chest, “Hitting women is wrong. Very illegal for a reason, actually.”
At the mention, his head bobbles back a bit like he’s dodging a smack between the brows with the context-lacking declaration. He’s not quite sure he’s heard her right, eyebrows climbing and eyes widening almost comically. Right, okay. This is… a gross misunderstanding, he decides. When the realization hits him, truly hits him, his knee-jerk response is an incredulous laugh, which he muscles down. Instead, his appalled amusement trickles out like a little huff, corners of his strawberry mouth tugging up. Unfortunately, the reaction only seems to irritate her further, and her forehead crinkles up as her own eyebrows ascend in stunned disbelief. 
“You think there’s something funny about hitting a woman?” Y/N presses, eyes steeling into slits, her priorly indoor-voice rising a decibel. 
The volume of her statement (and the misleading content) has his otherwise mirthy expression falling into something far more serious. Full of comically flat, grievous denial, like a kid being scolded for spray-painting a concrete wall after being caught with the can in its hand.
“—No,” Harry shakes his head slowly, side to side, “Not at all.”
Cautiously, his gaze slips off to the corner, where a few tenants have turned over their shoulder to gauge the commotion. As the young woman’s head swivels to tail where his eye contact has meandered, Harry realizes that backpedaling is only going to become a feat of incredible verbal athleticism from here. Upon catching the other glimpses from the crowd, slowly turning back to their own conversations, Y/N makes a deadpan sound of amusement before she turns back to face him.
“Oh, what? You’re ashamed now that you’re being called out for it? Good,” she bites, shoulders teetering as she leans toward him and unfolds her arms, pointing her index finger into his direction scathingly, “You should be ashamed. It’s absolutely disgusting to put your hands on a woman.”
This is tragically weighed against Harry’s favor. Here he was, just a half-asleep evacuee, holding his rabbit, clad in only a pair of hardly decent briefs, contemplating whether he should Uber Eats tacos as soon as the emergency exit fiasco were to clear up (might as well, since he’s already awake). Somehow, he’s managed to morph from an unassuming extra to the perceived antagonist. 
No, Harry thinks— this wouldn’t be a disaster film; it’s a full blown, poorly-contrived drama with a plot twist even the supposed villain is caught off guard by. The curly-headed brunette chances another glance to the other side now, where more people have not only glimpsed over in brief acknowledgement, but have fully twisted their shoulders to observe the apparent scandal. As much as Harry wholeheartedly marches to the beat of his own drum, at this moment in time, his reputation is shaking in its boots and he’s reached a mental checkpoint called time for damage control.
Weaving sincerity into his tone and shaking his head placatingly as he steps forward— a subconscious attempt to coax her into lowering her volume— Harry tells her, “I don’t put my hands on anybody that doesn’t consent to it first.”
Her face scrunches up.
“I think,” his pink tongue slinks out to wet his lips, “maybe, there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
“No, I really, really do,” Harry counters, ducking his chin into a nod. 
Instead of hearing him out, however, his neighbor, as if fueled by the internal calling to manually dismantle misogyny, one assumed violent criminal at a time, only raises her volume a little more. Exceeding the normal range, definitely steeping in public-humiliation-ritual territory. 
“I’m not misunderstanding,” Y/N bites, brows pinched like he’s personally offended her by even insinuating as much, “I have ears, just so you know, and I’ve heard a woman saying no, and please, and stop. So you can drop your good boy act, okay—“
Harry blinks. If not for the character defamation going on and the way Socks-and-Sandals raises his phone out of seemingly nowhere, pointing it into their direction as if there isn’t a potential fire to be filmed instead of all things, Harry would laugh. But there is, and the flash is on, weak along his peripheral edge—
“I know guys like you, I know your type,” Y/N declares, jabbing her finger against him again, this time so close to grazing the area along his chest, right between the tops of his pectorals, just over Snuggles, “and it’s gross that you think because you’re attractive you can walk all over everyone and do things like that to people, and you know what, next time maybe the cops won’t be so nice—”
Ah, nice. Another mystery resolved; one which involved a pair of men with guns in their holsters at his door performing a wellness check and an excruciatingly awkward clarification on impact play, consensual sadomasochism, and safewords. For weeks Harry wondered what had inspired a legal inquiry into his pastimes. Now, staring at the culprit— case dismissed— he can only blink before his brows wrinkle up. 
“You’re the one who called the police?” Harry murmurs, a note of soft incredulity soaking the phrase.  
“Any sane woman would call the police when she heard another woman being abused—“
“Abused?”
“Yes! Abused! And— and— honestly—“
Before Y/N can launch into another ruthlessly-curated, virtue-plated diatribe, Harry resituates the animal in his grip, unlocking his phone to the homescreen. Then, Safari. He thumbs over it with a careful determination seeding along his downturned, sculpted expression.
“I don’t know what form of assault would be worse,” Y/N chimes, hands climbing up in an exaggerated, universal symbol of exasperation before they fall back to her sides (as if she hadn’t even noticed his attention has been redirected to his phone), “but when someone says no, it means no.”
It only takes a second for her to register that his focus has been rerouted elsewhere, though. Her tone dips indignantly.
“Excuse me. I’m talking to you. And also, while we’re at it, you’re unbearably loud and an unmannerly neighbor—“
Harry turns his phone around. His expression is impressively flat, all things considered. Y/N pauses. 
“Typically,” Harry states as her eyes rake over the glowing screen, “I like to be wined and dined before I give a crash course on my preferences, but.”
The image stretched across the illuminated LED sits over her tired gaze as she absorbs it, pupils jittering as she reads, but through the lens of his own profile mirrored back, he can see the moment her righteously fueled demeanor chips. 
“I do, like, a… softcore porn type thing,” he admits. 
Still, her brows are kinked. Only now, in stupefied doubt. “I— what?”
It’s with a rotting sense of dread curdling in the pit of her tummy that it suddenly dawns on Y/N— the mortified realization that she has succumbed to a horrible misunderstanding. 
The website the tab is set on almost looks archaic, like a kitsch relic— repository archives of a porn blog from the early 2000s. Spankinggram. The page is set onto a profile, something called Rings&Paddles, and the squared image of an avatar slices through the garishly orange palette of the site’s logo. Her gaze sweeps over the vista; a man sitting down on an armless chair, thighs splayed, palm curled over a …hairbrush. 
The profile picture sunders off at the neck. It’s a faceless silhouette, but the miscellany of sketches cascading across a forearm and the distinctly chunky medley of rings are… enough—
“Consensually,” Harry— Rings&Paddles, Y/N recognizes, molten heat dripping along the crests of her cheekbones— adds, “No one is being abused.”
In retrospect, the only feasible option to survive this, Y/N decides, is to change her name and move to another state. 
Probably something short and vaguely melancholic, one of those names that would look intriguing in all lowercase. A quiet town. Somewhere coastal, maybe. West. No— north. As far north as geographically possible. Perhaps she could get a dog. An older, ratty boy from a shelter. Drive an old car that’s too big with a busted radio. She’ll pretend it’s a benefit, rather than an inconvenience, because she’ll be the fabricated kind of mystique that insufferably enjoys the quiet calm (and rainstorms). A rebranded, movie-clichè hipster, but not unbearable in real life—
“But I understand the concern,” her neighbor says, cutting through the haze as she contemplates what brand of cigarettes she’ll be taking up as a trait of her pseudo-identity. Against all odds, his tone is calm in an all-too-merciful kind of way, “You can look into… domestic discipline, if you’d like. If you wanted to understand a bit better. There’s loads of really good information on the internet.”
For a moment, Y/N deliberates burning alive. If there isn’t a fire licking up her department store drapes, she’s going to set one to avoid bearing the weight of this shame for the rest of her life. Granted, the heat sizzling at her face feels like a flame, enough, both at the way she’s just publicly kinkshamed an innocent man and at the mention of …domestic discipline.
She’s going to cry. 
They would be Virginia Slims.
“You— …what?”
The garbled confusion drenching her tone is almost laughable. She sounds it, too; voice pinched and deceptively close to trembling off into a sob. Y/N stares straight ahead, body locked in a fugue state of humiliation as the realization calcifies in real-time. Her shoulders have gone stiff and her spine rigid, posture squeezed somewhere between standing and catatonic. The scale of her miscalculation worms into her skull like a parasite that’ll chew her awake in the middle of the night, years down the line.
For the last month, Y/N has spent every interaction with Harry evasively toeing over eggshells. Floundering over the way his face was sculpted, rather than compromising the integral structure of their acquaintanceship. Somehow, a sleep cycle cut short and the ambiguous suggestion that he had picked up on her avoidant habits was all it had taken to not only slander his (apparently not safe for work) extracurriculars, but probably assure her foreseeable Amazon packages suddenly start going missing.
Now, with a semi-public declaration of his profile pressed out to her face and his name no longer being audibly smeared with accusations, Harry can appreciate the quiet sense of revelation. 
His neighbor, on the other hand, looks visibly wrecked. Her entire stance is pulled in tight, like she’s actively trying to make herself smaller, but it’s her face that really gives her away— the way it twists, fluctuating between wide-eyed horror and the dawning realization that she’s just detonated a social landmine at point-blank range. All heat-tinged and shame-doused, the young woman blinks up at him, doe-eyes rounded in apologetic appall and lips parted slightly like she’s still buffering. The combination of words that just left his mouth— softcore porn, domestic discipline, consensual— seem to be wrestling in her brain like tangled Christmas lights, none of them quite fitting together in a way that makes sense and glinters.
“I am sorry about the noise,” he tells her, shutting the phone off and nestling his arm back up under his pet, “I’ll make sure to keep it to a minimum from now on.”
Y/N wilts. With the phone no longer held out into her direction, the way she stays glued to the same spot on the cement— as if mortified into a motionless piece of stone— is ridiculous enough for him to gnaw into his cheek to chew back a bark of laughter. Despite all trials and tribulations, his coping mechanisms never fail. 
“You— oh my God,” Y/N whispers. She makes a sound that could be a vaguely pained noise or the byproduct of her soul seeping out of her body. “Oh my God.”
Harry blinks. 
“I called the police on you,” she tells him, utter dismay lacing the words together. 
“You did, yeah.”
Harry still remembers the blank expression varnished along the officer’s face— the kind of emotionally vacant stare reserved for department store mannequins. The echo of the distant, metaphysical NOPE that definitely rode along his brainstem the moment the curly-haired brunette mentioned “it’s a kink thing,” and the way his partner, hands allocated to his holster belt, started very obviously examining his own shoes. 
“I thought—“ Y/N stutters, her wobbling voice sounding squeezed from her trachea, “I thought—“
“You thought you were living next door to a criminal,” Harry supplies. When he tilts his head, a rogue curl flops over his forehead.  
Finally, the young woman moves, burying her face in her hands. This will haunt her, she thinks. Forever. 
From the corner of his eye, the man can tell that most of the tenants have gone back to their regularly scheduled repertoires of stalled misery. And despite the absolute PR mess her blunder has induced— his eyes wander over her, the way she’s cupping her face like she wants to melt into her own hands and seep off into the pavement— he feels oddly… bad. Not secondhand embarrassed (firsthand, definitely firsthand), but Y/N looks like she’s going to combust. It’s tragic, really. The kind of pitiful that makes him purse his mouth and stare down at her in contemplation.
“Honestly,” his voice cuts through the haze in her throbbing, hot skull, all even-toned sincerity (which is worse, so much worse), “if I was in your position, yeah? I’d do the same thing.”
The admission coaxes her into a horrified peer through the wedges between her fingers. The warmth pressed to her palms feels borderline pyrexic. 
“And if that were the case, you’d be the neighborhood hero. So.” He raises a shoulder nonchalantly.
Y/N doesn’t immediately respond. Instead, she soaks in the crime scene, doused in the blinking blue and red. 
“I’m not sure neighborhood hero is how I’ll be remembered,” the young woman finally answers, groaning through her hands, and then pressing her fingertips into her temples. 
Harry hums. Then, he sighs. “No, you’re right. I’d say misguided vigilante. I reckon it’s a bit better than violent felon, though.”
Y/N makes another sound. This one sounds a little more wounded.
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