#seduce me with books literally any day

[areyoualexander]

I'd like to say that I don't have a type but I do and it’s guys with long hair and an earring who never shut the fuck up.

[st-eve-barnes]

Leverage (Michael Gavey x fem Reader)

Chapter 1

Summary: When your ex threatens to release some very personal videos you are left with no choice but to do what he asks: seduce the biggest nerd on campus, Michael Gavey. Will you rock his world or will he fundamentally change yours?

Word count: +2300

Warning for the entire fic: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.

Fluff, smut and of course angst (my favorite combination! lol) I haven't watched Saltburn yet so all characters in this fic except for Michael are my own.

Chapter 2 will be posted next week and the plan is to post weekly, there will be 4-5 chapters (depending on how far the muse takes me)

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

You should have known something was off the second Ben sat down in front of you in the library that morning. You two hadn’t spoken since you’d broken up, some 6 months ago now. The split had been amicable but neither of you had felt the need to pretend to remain friends afterwards. He was a stranger to you now and you preferred it that way.

You both moved in different social circles in the university these days, meaning he was living his dream as a popular fuck boy getting drunk every night and you spent most nights in your dorm room focusing on your studying.

“I need a favor,” he bluntly started the conversation.

“No,” you answered without looking up from your book.

“I think you should hear me out first.”

“Ben, we haven’t spoken in months,” you sighed,”What makes you think I would help you now?”

He leaned closer to you over the table, making you lean back to keep the distance between you two.

“The firm I’ve been dreaming of getting into is offering an internship to whoever scores highest on this upcoming test,” he explained.

“Great, you should start hitting the books then.”

“It’s no use.”

“Why not? I thought you were so smart?”

“I am so smart,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes,”But not as smart as him.”

You looked up and noticed he wasn’t looking at you anymore but his gaze was drawn to the guy sitting a few tables away. You recognized him instantly: ugly outdated shirt, even uglier beige cargo pants and big glasses on his nose, buried into his books as usual. The biggest nerd on campus and beyond: Michael Gavey.

“He’s your competition?” you snorted,”Good luck with that!”

“Luck won’t help me, that’s why I need your help.”

“What on earth am I going to do? I suck at math, you know that.”

“That’s not why I need you,” he shook his head and sighed,”A job at that firm is my dream, it’s what I’ve always wanted and worked towards for the past two years.”

“And if you pass that test you’ll get it.”

“Nobody can beat Gavey, everyone knows the guy’s a fucking genius.”

“Then he deserves the internship, don’t you think?”

”He can literally get any job he chooses, I need this one and I won’t let that freak take it from me.”

For the first time you leaned forward and looked into his eyes, indulging him and giving into your own curiosity.”What do you want from me then?”

“Look at him, I bet that guy’s never even had a girl look at him twice, especially not a pretty girl like you, that dude’s got virgin written all over him, hasn’t he?”

“How is that any of your business, Ben? Maybe he’s not even interested in girls, you ever though of that?” you opted, deliberately ignoring his compliment.

“Oh, believe me he’s interested, I’ve seen him stare when he thinks nobody’s looking. He may pretend to be above all that but the fucker is just as horny as the rest of us.”

“Speak for yourself.” You leaned back and kept your eyes on him while you crossed your arms,”You still haven’t told me what you want from me.”

“I was thinking, having a pretty girl like you pay attention to him might take his mind off all this studying, a distraction like that could kill a man’s entire focus.”

“Only a man who thinks with his dick.”

He smirked at you,”Or a man who’s never had his dick touched.”

“You’re fucking disgusting."

He lifted his hands in innocence,”I just want you to distract the guy a little, make him forget about stupid tests and internships so I can have a fighting chance.”

”You want me to fuck him,” you realized.

He gave you a lazy smirk, his gaze hardening suddenly,“I want you to do whatever it takes to ruin him.”

The words left his mouth so casually and easily it was making you nervous.

“You’re mad, there’s no way. Ask one of the whores you always hang out with, I’m sure there’s plenty…”

“I’ve asked, none of them want him.”

You sighed, annoyed.”Of course they don’t.”

“I need it to be you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the only one I can convince to do this.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that and you shook your head,”You’re out of your mind if you think I would even consider…”

He didn’t let you finish your sentence but instead shoved a photo towards you on the table.

“What is this?”

“This is what I would call leverage.”

You looked at him in confusion,”This is just a blurry picture, what am I supposed to be looking at?”

He smirked at you,”Do you remember that one night we got insanely crazy drunk and I borrowed my roommate’s camera?”

It was only then that you realized what you were watching. It was a picture of a video. A video of a night you had tried very hard to erase from your memory, a night you wished had never happened.

“You kept that?” you asked quietly, the unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach quickly growing. 

“It never left my computer,” he said as if it was something to be proud of,”And I guess…we’d both like it to stay on there wouldn’t we? And not…get lost on the internet or around university or something, I mean…I imagine you wouldn’t want that, right?”

You looked at him in complete disbelief and your voice was shaking with your next words,”You wouldn’t…you wouldn’t do that.”

His dark eyes stayed locked on yours,”Don’t doubt that I will do whatever it takes to get what I want, sweetheart.”

You shivered at the cold determination in his tone.

“I’m sorry,” he added,” but I need you to do what I ask if you want that video to stay with me. Get to know Gavey, make him believe you’re interested, how far you take it…is entirely up to you. Just make it work.”

****

You found Michael in his same spot in the library the next day, leaning on his elbow while he was taking notes in one of his many text books. 

For a few moments you just watched him from a distance, watched how enthralled he was in his work, how focussed his eyes were on the pages in front of him, how he kept pushing up his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in concentration. If the world around him caught on fire right now he probably wouldn’t even notice, all he had eyes for were the numbers in front of him. Ben was right to fear him, this guy’s focus was top-tier, it would take a lot more than a silly girl like yourself to break it. 

But what choice did you have? You had to try.

You stood frozen for a while, uncertain as to how you were going to proceed. You didn’t want to be here and just the thought of what you had to do made your stomach turn. But Ben had left you with no other choice. If that video ever saw the light of day it was over for you.

You swallowed your nerves and walked up to Michael’s table and took a seat opposite him, trying to act both casual and confident. But you were too nervous to pull either of those off.

You cleared your throat before you spoke,”Hey.”

Michael didn’t react, he didn’t even flinch, making you think he hadn’t heard you at all. 

You opened your mouth to speak again but he beat you to it,”What do you want?”

He was still writing and didn’t bother to look up at you.

“Michael?” you asked carefully,”Michael Gavey?”

“You know my name, congratulations, what do you want?”

Your heart sank. How were you ever going to distract this guy when he didn’t even acknowledge your presence? How were you in any position to get his attention when he wasn’t even interested enough to grant you a simple glance?

This was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

“I need a tutor,” you blurted out.

“I’m not your guy,” he answered immediately with a small shake of his head.

“So you’re not the smartest guy on campus then? Shit, I must have been misinformed,” you tried to lighten the mood and it seemed to work.

His lips curled up into the tiniest of smiles but it was gone as quickly as it appeared,”Flattery doesn’t work on me.”

“Flattery works on everyone. Come on.”

He was shaking his head again all the while still writing things down in his notebook, determined to keep up his act of ignoring you and it was starting to piss you off.

“It’s rude not to look at people when they talk to you, you know?” 

Michael just shrugged his shoulders,”Tutoring is a waste of my time, go find someone else.”

“You’re the smartest guy here.”

“I already told you, flattery will get you nowhere.”

“I can pay you,” you blurted out and just like that you had his attention. He stopped writing and put his pen down, finally looking up to meet your eyes.

“Right,” he sighed,”Because money opens every door, does it?” 

His gaze was hard and his lips pursed in a thin line, he was clearly annoyed with you.

“No, that’s not…”

”You rich pricks think money will buy you everything your little heart desires. It’s fucking pathetic.”

“That’s not what I meant…I’m not…” you sighed, defeated as you watched Michael pack up his notebooks and rise from his seat.

“Piss off, spoilt little rich girl and ask one of your rich friends to tutor you. I am not your guy.”

And that was it. You failed before you even had the chance to really try. You weren’t one to give up easily but after that interaction you had no hope of ever getting close to Michael Gavey. The guy was rude and insufferable and clearly not interested in you in any way.

You tried to carry on with your days after that but the weight of Ben’s threat was hanging over your shoulders and dragging you down, making you anxious every day. You were frustrated at the power he still held over you. And even more frustrated by the fact that there was nothing you could do about it.

Your mind was somewhere else entirely when you started your shift at the local pizza place that Thursday night. At least work gave you something to do and keep yourself busy instead of eating yourself up with worry every night. When the manager called asking if you were available for some extra shifts that week you jumped at the chance.

You were working on automatic pilot that night, making your way through the tables and taking clients orders when you arrived at his table.

“Good evening, sir, how may I help you tonight?”

It was only when you looked up and the person in front of you lowered his menu that you recognized him. Gavey.

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when his eyes met yours, a flash of recognition running across his face.

“It’s…you,” he realized and looking at your name plate he called you by your name.

“Yes, it’s me, hi,” you sighed, trying to stay polite even though he had been so rude to you last time. God, please, don’t let him be a difficult customer, you were not in the mood for this tonight. “What can I get for you, Michael?” you asked with your best customer service smile.

Much to your surprise Michael returned your smile with one of his own, a little awkward and probably as forced as yours but at least he wasn’t calling you names or yelling at you this time. And instead of avoiding your eyes he couldn’t seem to look away from you tonight.

“You…work here?” he asked, confused,”I’ve never seen you here before.”

“I usually only work the weekends, I’m filling in for a sick colleague tonight,” you explained,”The extra money is always welcome, you know.”

“You’re not…you’re not one of them,” he realized, his voice softer than you had ever heard it.

“One of who?” 

“Those vapid rich cunts you always hang out with.”

And just like that he was making it harder to remain polite again.

“They’re just my class mates, Michael, they’re not friends. Unlike some people I am mature enough to be civilized and polite to people even if I don’t like them much. It’s called being an adult, you should try it some time.”

Michael was quiet, his eyes dropping down to the menu before he gave you his order and sank back down into his seat. You almost felt sorry for him seeing him sit there all alone while most people were out with friends tonight.

Almost. Maybe if the guy wasn’t such a dick all the time he’d have friends to have dinner with and not look like such a loser.

When you returned with his food shortly after he just gave you a polite nod and a quiet “Thank you”, which you reciprocated with a quick nod of your own.

“You didn’t spit into my food, did you?” he then asked, making you turn back around.

“No,” you sighed,”I wouldn’t do that. Not even to you.”

He smiled weakly,“Not even when I deserve it?”

You couldn’t help your lips from curling up into a little smile at his unexpected admission of guilt,”No, not even then.”

“Thanks,” he nodded quickly.

“Enjoy your food.”

When you came to his table later to clean up you found a napkin properly folded with your name written on it. You opened it to find a generous tip inside and a message: “Food was excellent, customer service needs some work”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes,”Fucking asshole.” But then you read the next line:

“PS If you still want that tutor meet me in the library tomorrow night at 8”

[nogoodsheepstealing-greatgrandma]

TG on Criston Cole: "He's not the step dad he's the Dad Who Stepped Up! 😍"

Criston Cole in F&B: Literally Humbert Humbert (or, at best, Woody Allen).

Afterward, he gave the seven-year-old Princess Rhaenyra the victor’s laurel and begged for her favor to wear in the joust.

“Ser Criston protects the princess from her enemies, but who protects the princess from Ser Criston?” *

*said at a point when Rhaenyra is the same age as Dolores Haze btw.

Among the changes to the character's ages in HOTD, it's ageing up Rhaenyra when she first meets Criston Cole that grosses me out the most. And to add insult to injury, they don't even get an older actor to play an older Criston Cole after the time jump - Emma D'arcy is actually older than Fabian Frankel.

And to those who say sympathetic jilted lover Criston Cole is more interesting... well we've heard that story before. With Jorah Mormont's depiction in GOT, for starters. And everywhere else in our culture, men like Criston Cole are afforded sympathy and fascination (it's honestly a relief that most audiences outside of tumblr thankfully hate Show Criston - pls leave the actor alone though), while their victims are depicted as seductive temptress 'nymphets'.

Look no further than JK Rowling's favourite 'tragic romance'.

(sure jk, trans women are the problem, but humbert humbert isn't?)

Book covers and film adaptations of Lolita love to age up and sexualise Dolores and completely miss the point, but Vladimir Nabokov named actress Catherine Demongeot as the most book-accurate casting. Who looks very disturbing up against the 1997 film's casting for Humbert Humbert:

She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock.

And wouldn't you know it, Daemon returns from the Stepstones when Rhaenyra (15) is around the same age that Dolores was, when Clare Quilty convinced her to run away with him.

And when Criston proposes to Rhaenyra ahead of her upcoming marriage to Laenor, she is again the same age as Dolores (17) when Humbert tries to get her to leave her husband for him.

Obviously Rhaenyra's story is by no means directly comparable to the horrific abuse suffered by Dolores Haze, and besides we don't know precisely what happened between Rhaenyra and Criston*. But Rhaenyra was also much much younger (7) when Criston came into a position to start grooming her, and at the end of the day she was still only a 12-year-old child when rumours of a sexual relationship began. The parallels are there, and CSA is a common issue throughout GRRM's work.

It certainly wouldn't be the first time GRRM has made a reference to Lolita in ASOIAF:

You see, she had absolutely nowhere else to go.

Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike. She would have fled them both, perhaps, but there was nowhere for her to go.

On Septon Eustace and Mushroom

*I do find it interesting to note that of the two accounts of Rhaenyra and Criston's 'split' (by two people who weren't in the room), it is Septon Eustace's account that puts Rhaenyra in a more favourable light. Mushroom tells the more pornographic account that casts Rhaenyra as the one trying to seduce Criston. Meanwhile Septon Eustace insists that Rhaenyra was the one to refuse Criston - including arguing that if his vows as a Kingsguard mean so little to him, then why should she trust he'd honour any marriage vows?

As I often argue, interpreting F&B is far more complicated than insisting one account always tells the truth, one account always tells propaganda etc. Neither account obviously views the relationship through the lens that Rhaenyra was only 7 when they met, neither of them care to raise concerns of grooming and CSA . This is still the same world after all that thought it was perfectly acceptable for a 12-year-old Laena to marry Viserys, or for a 12-year-old Sansa to marry Tyrion. This is the world that spread rumours of Rhaenyra's lost virginity when she had barely begun puberty.

Mushroom is clearly pro-Rhaenyra, and clearly fond of her (he wants us to know for instance how good it was to hear her laugh, his account expresses the most how broken she was after Luke's death) - but he's writing his account years after her death, and most likely after departing Aegon III's court for White Harbour. His priority, as a dwarf and entertainer, is to write was sells, and salacious tales sell. Just look at the pornographic tales the slavers spread of Daenerys, or how Shae depicts Sansa as a seducer withholding sex to convince her husband to commit regicide, or the play Arya performs in that bawdily depicts Tyrion raping Sansa for the masses. Mushroom at least wasn't the one to actually come up with the Brothel Queens story** - Archmaester Gyldayn credits Aegon II with making that story up - but any loyalty Mushroom had to a long-dead woman wasn't enough to stop him including a popular story. Mushroom's gotta eat.

**to those who still insist the story is true (despite Gyldayne attributing the rumour to Aegon II), do you honestly think if the Queen and Queen Mother had actually been gang-raped there wouldn't be multiple sources verifying it and expressing outrage?

Septon Eustace meanwhile is a misogynist who hated Rhaenyra and wished to justify his allegiance to the Greens. Which is why he'll make up ridiculous stories about Rhaenyra cutting herself on the throne while wearing armour, or Sunfyre eating her in 6 bites and leaving behind one leg for the Stranger, or how Rhaenyra got fat and ugly after giving birth to 5 children. Which is why he'll have Aegon II say "what sort of brother steals his sister's birthright?" - a statement that doesn't match with the rest of his documented words and actions:

Word of Rhaenyra’s coronation reached the Red Keep the next day, to the great displeasure of Aegon II. “My half-sister and my uncle are guilty of high treason,” the young king declared. “I want them attainted, I want them arrested, and I want them dead.”*** Cooler heads on the green council wished to parley. “The princess must be made to see that her cause is hopeless,” Grand Maester Orwyle said. “Brother should not war against sister. Send me to her, that we may talk and reach an amicable accord.” Aegon would not hear of it. Septon Eustace tells us that His Grace accused the Grand Maester of disloyalty and spoke of having him thrown into a black cell “with your black friends.”

***spoken in response to Rhaenyra publicly offering him a pardon

So Eustace has a tendency to demonise and whitewash - which is what makes it interesting when he passes on the opportunity. For example, why would he refute the rumours that Rhaenyra's children are bastards? Surely that claim would have supported his case against her? Why does he give quite a positive, even glowing, account of Jacaerys? Probably because he approved of and genuinely had no issue with Jacaerys, other than that he didn't believe the throne could pass through the female line anyway. True or not, he didn't need to claim Jace as a bastard, and Jace's actions didn't fit any cultural stereotypes. Because it seems there are certain lines Septon Eustace won't cross.

So Septon Eustace has some commitment to telling the truth (some truths anyway). Which is why his own account of Aegon II often contradicts itself, as shown above.

So back to his account of Rhaenyra and Criston. Why not cast Rhaenyra a wanton seductress, trying to tempt Criston Cole away from his Kingsguard vows? Why depict Criston, a fellow Green, as an oathbreaker? Why tell us that Rhaenyra did the right thing, turning Criston down and even expressing disgust that he would abandon his vows? Because for all Septon Eustace dislikes Rhaenyra, casting her as a wanton seductress would be crossing a line. He doesn't need it to be against female succession - her great sin is being a woman who doesn't gracefully abdicate in favour of her brother, and that's enough.

And because his account is probably closer to what happened. While he wasn't in the room, no more than Mushroom was, he was in a position to hear about it from Criston. As a fellow Green, and above all as a Septon. Someone who Criston might confess to. And it is Septon Eustace's account that tells us Criston Cole was the one to slit Lord Beesbury's throat. While he may try (sometimes anyway) to sanitise Aegon II, he makes no such effort with Criston Cole. If you wanted to legitimise your support for the Greens but were unable deny their crimes, it makes sense to allow someone to be the villain.

And supposing Criston did confess, he probably would have displayed the same delusional self-pity and self-justification as Humbert Humbert. And Septon Eustace, just like everyone else in Westeros, certainly wouldn't have considered Rhaenyra a possible victim of grooming and CSA.

Just look at Catherine Howard as a historical example. When she was 13 she was molested by her music tutor, Henry Mannox:

“At the flattering and fair persuasions of Mannox, being but a young girl, I suffered him at sundry times to handle and touch the secret parts of my body, which neither became me with honesty to permit nor him to require.”

This 'affair' was used as evidence against her in her trial for adultery and subsequent execution.

The Princess and her White Knight

Again, we don't know what precisely happened between Rhaenyra and Criston. We don't know if their relationship is comparable to Catherine Howard and Henry Mannox, or if it escalated anywhere close to the horrors of Dolores Haze and Humbert Humbert. Or if anything actually happened at all, or maybe at least not till Rhaenyra was older. Maybe their relationship is more comparable to Soon-Yi Previn and Woody Allen, who had been her stepfather since she was 10.

We have snatches of the truth from Eustace and Mushroom, we have what we can determine of their access to the truth and their motives for telling their accounts the way they do. We have Rhaenyra's young age, Criston's constant access to her, the timing of the rumours, her later relationships with older men, the violent hatred Criston has towards her after she rejects him. We have the fact that CSA is a common reoccurrence in GRRM's work - Daenerys and Jorah, Sansa and Littlefinger, Jeyne and Ramsay, Tyrion and Tywin, Aeron and Euron. We have the salacious stories that are already spreading of victims like Daenerys and Sansa, and we can speculate how future maesters and septons and fools might write about them, the way they write about Rhaenyra.

Whatever happened, my understanding is that Rhaenyra was a child in a court that her stepmother was actively making a hostile environment for her. Who had to deal with the beginnings of puberty in this environment, where adults were already speculating on her sexuality, on top of all the other scrutiny she would face as heir. Yes she had a father who doted on her, but when it came to Alicent he always refused to take sides, he always tried to placate and please and keep the peace. Yes he was steadfast in his decision to keep Rhaenyra his heir, but he did nothing to reprimand Alicent, he allowed this hostile environment to flourish, leaving his barely pubescent daughter to deal with it on her own. Alicent even publicly quips about Rhaenyra's relationship with Criston Cole, and she gets away with it.

Daemon does not return from the Stepstones till after the 5th anniversary tournament Viserys throws for Alicent, when Rhaenyra is 14/15. Before then, Rhaenyra's main confidant, probably her only confident on the subject of Alicent, was her sworn shield and constant shadow Criston Cole. Whatever happened between them, she was young and emotionally vulnerable. And lonely. Yes she had a party of supporters at court - but what is that to a child? She needed a parent to confide in, and when it came to Alicent her own father could not be that parent.

We know Rhaenyra was a precocious child, 'bright and bold' and proud. But we also know that beneath that she was anxious - she was known to compulsively fidget with the rings on her fingers out of anxiety. What kid in her situation wouldn't be anxious? Just when did this compulsive habit begin? Rhaenyra may not have been in anywhere near as vulnerable a situation as Dany, but she was still a vulnerable kid. And so Criston would have been important to her.

He wants me, she realized. He loves me as he loved her, not as a knight loves his queen but as a man loves a woman. She tried to imagine herself in Ser Jorah’s arms, kissing him, pleasuring him, letting him enter her. It was no good. 

It was a long kiss, though how long Dany could not have said. When it ended, Ser Jorah let go of her, and she took a quick step backward. “You … you should not have …”

My great bear, Dany thought. I am his queen, but I will always be his cub as well, and he will always guard me. It made her feel safe, but sad as well. She wished she could love him better than she did.

My bear, my fierce strong bear, what will I do without him?

My bear, she thought, my old sweet bear, who loved me and betrayed me. She had missed him so. She wanted to see his ugly face, to wrap her arms around him and press herself against his chest.

We don't know how much or in what way Criston took advantage of Rhaenyra's dependence on him, or how 'receptive' Rhaenyra might have been (friendly reminder that no matter how 'receptive' she might have been, it's still CSA). Again, it may be that nothing physically happened at all until Rhaenyra was 17 (after 10 years of grooming of course). Whatever happened, we can certainly imagine that Rhaenyra was devastated to lose him, and to Alicent of all people. He had been her confidant and her champion, he had been at her side since she was 7 years old, not long before losing her mother (who was the same age as Criston btw).

My understanding of Criston meanwhile is that he genuinely adored her for those 10 years as her sworn shield. That he was passionately protective of her, fiercely devoted to her, and possessive. Much like Jorah with Dany. Maybe, like Jorah, he tried to kiss her. Maybe much worse happened, and he deluded himself as many abusers do that theirs was a misunderstood romance. Maybe he never touched her at all, but fantasised about it. Maybe he convinced himself that he was a man of honour, maybe he spent those years waiting till Rhaenyra was older, by her side the entire time (cough, grooming).

Whatever happened, he was enraged that 10 years of grooming were ultimately unrewarded. He probably, deludedly, cast her just as cruel and selfish and ungrateful as Humbert Humbert did Dolores Haze.

Despite our tiffs, despite her nastiness, despite all the fuss and faces she made, and the vulgarity, and the danger, and the horrible hopelessness of it all, I still dwelled deep in my elected paradise - a paradise whose skies were the color of hell-flames - but still a paradise.

There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child.

But I was weak, I was not wise, my schoolgirl nymphet had me in thrall. With the human element dwindling, the passion, the tenderness, and the torture only increased; and of this she took advantage.

Don't you love living in a world where multiple think pieces debate whether or not Rhaenyra abused Criston Cole? (Also a world where a book like Lo's Diary gets published...)

If there is any truth to Septon Eustace's account that Criston wanted to elope with her to Essos, then I can imagine that he wanted to possess Rhaenyra entirely for himself (however romantic he may have believed his motives). The 'black fury' that descends on him during the wedding tourney certainly tells us he is violently jealous to see Rhaenyra begin a relationship with Harwin. He probably stewed in fury while Rhaenyra's attention was on Daemon (maybe hypocritically casting him as the villain the way Humbert Humbert does Clare Quilty), celebrated when Daemon was banished, and grew desperately possessive at the thought of losing his exclusive access to her again. Much like Jorah:

“You have been a better friend to me than any I have known, a better brother than Viserys ever was. You are the first of my Queensguard, the commander of my army, my most valued counselor, my good right hand. I honor and respect and cherish you—but I do not desire you, Jorah Mormont, and I am weary of your trying to push every other man in the world away from me, so I must needs rely on you and you alone. It will not serve, and it will not make me love you any better.”

I can't believe I'm giving Jorah Mormont credit here, but at least he doesn't respond to rejection with violent hatred of Dany. Or at least, he hasn't yet.

Now Rhaenyra's relationship with Daemon is another matter, and will require another essay. In sum, there is a broad spectrum between 'pedophile' and 'healthy relationship', and when I say Daemon's relationship with Rhaenyra is healthier than her relationship with Criston I have to admit the bar is very low indeed. Though I do take into consideration GRRM's description of Daemon as a grey character, 'equal parts light and dark'. Anyone is at liberty to declare death of the author and interpret Daemon as they see fit, but authorial intent (however fallible you may consider it) is not irrelevant. That authorial intent is the foundation upon which the characters, relationships, events, themes etc is built.

Ultimately, Daemon was not in Rhaenyra's life between the ages of 8 and 15 - he was in a relationship with an adult Mysaria, and then he was off to the Stepstones until Viserys and Alicent's 5th anniversary tourney. This isn't to endorse whatever may have happened in the 6 months Daemon was in King's Landing before his banishment - however you interpret his actions and motives. But simply to say that when it comes to grooming and abusing pre-pubescent to early-pubescent girls (oh this has been a disturbing essay to write) - Criston wins the "Creepy Even By Child Brideros Standards" Award.

So... is Criston the Step-Dad Who Stepped Up? Sure, if your Step-Dad is Humbert Humbert or Woody Allen.

[chaotic-beautiful]

Build up where ??? HOTD

Those who are defending HOTD writing , fighting tooth and nail like obsessed fangirls , are they even watching the same show ??? This show is literally garbage writing , zero characterisation and full of illogical plot holes looking like pot holes on a muddy village road .

Where to even begin ? Atp, a whole 200 page book can be written on the lack of writing and cringe fanfiction OC inserts of showmakers that are not even subtle anymore.

Where's the smartly written dialogs and interesting scenes between small fry characters and MCs ?? Interestingly composed scenes of diverse cultures , grounding scenes of daily lives that are somehow intricately connected to who they are about one or more characters.

Truly , true art can not be replicated or replaced . I'd watch old clips of GOT where it's just two random characters talking to each other and nothing else happening over this entire dump on fire season . Such memorable quotes n conclusions that kept us all on our toes came out of such conversations.

Let me not even start on our female characters. Whichever gave the showmakers this idea that a person who doesn't even identify with that particular gender will be ideal candidate to play a feminist icon in the show ? They do not understand the power that comes from embracing the fragility, gentleness, allure and softer sides of being a woman . And the show makers ?? They've zero idea about Women , their bodies , their hearts , pregnancy, motherhood , marital bond , importance of husband wife bonding and rearing children . They've zero idea what makes a woman strong . I've seldom seen such poorly written female characters, each weak , pathetic , cut board cut outs ( Rhaena , Baela , Haelena ) and unrelatable. They're denied of agency ( Alicent ) , femininity ( Rhaenyra ) , ambition, ruthless strive. Catherine, Sansa , Dany , Cersei , Arya even small female characters that appeared for a season are of fuller blood and flesh , feel like real life and they each embrace different sides of what being a woman actually means.

Show makers have zero respect or true regard for LGBTQA characters. They literally deleted a bunch of canonically established book characters belonging from that group . They treat Ser Laenor like garbage . No body cared about him when he was in the show , he literally proposed to be there for their children and for a fresh start with his wife but was then kicked out from her life because atp, she felt she needed a new husband to secure her position and safety of her children and decided to seduce and manipulate an emotionally vulnerable Daemon mere days after his wife's death.

And now in the show every one has moved on. Where is Laenor?? Is he alive ? Why is Seasmoke so restless and ready for a new rider ?? Can he sense that his rider is gone? Does your favorite girl boss cares ?? No ! Neither does the show.

But nor does the viewers , because hey we've got a hot toxic lesbian kiss that pretty much ruins the essence of both the characters and deviates them so far away from their book selves that they're no more the same characters. They might as well just change their names and introduce them as OCs . Yay for representation. We won ! Not.

The show stinks so badly of racism that it makes me feel sick. The Valeryons are played by a bunch of Bl actors without that having any effect on the story . AND yet those same characters are treated like disposable and insignificant within the story , existing as props to enhance the story of White characters. How typical. 🤔 They erased Nettles whose story reverberated through the heart of Westeros for eons to come and was truly inspiring , because that could not endanger what they're trying to do with their OC Rhaenyra, not comfortable making her human by showing her jealous and possessive of her OWN husband whom she loved crazily and was prepared to cross all limits of morality for him . No , that'd make her a human being and a wife . Can't have that here. Doesn't fit with our narrative. Can't show her to be dismissive and vindictive as she was of Nettles because of who she was and where she came from. Can't have the simp Daemon of the show look outside of his cheater wife, when Nettles was without a doubt the most important person for him near the end of his life.

They ruined another book , ruined great characters and those who have no idea about the book and the essence of these characters are praising and defending this garbage by attacking the books fans . It's indeed an interesting psychological study how like minded people are attracted to like minded stuff.

Mike drop.

[katerinaaqu]

Have you heard of the korean bl manga Ennead that takes the actual Egyptian mythology and twists it so much it's not even a joke?

Especially about Seth, for some reason in the manga he gets assaulted more times than any dark romance on booktok and then have him and Horus his niece be a thing.

Now some will say "Greek myths did the same with relationships" and i am like are they aware that these ancient myths with this modern adaptation isn't the same thing???

Especially Egyptian deities who were religious figures and now if you search online well be prepared 😭

I am aware of its existence but never read it. I have to confess some of the arts looked nice but just by looking at that I was like "nope! Another modern 'adaptation'!

Not gonna lie, first time I saw it I was like "oh finally we have some egyptian mythology mention!" but then I saw some clips here and there and I was like "Nope!". Then I must confess (if you see my profile and my takes on the ATROCIOUS adaptations of my culture's mythology -Greek-) I was like... "oh...someone else's mythology is butchered for a change!" So yeah basically a twist of the actual myth behind Seth and Horus where Seth pretended wishing to bed Horus, Horus deflects him and gathers his seed in his hands. His mother spreads then Horus's seed to some lettuse that is Seth's favorite so basically when Seth eats it and "takes in Horus's seed" without knowing, he brags to the council of the gods that he has managed to seduce and conquer Horus so others would mock him but then the gods call upon each of their seed from the gods and of course Horus's seed appears as a halow around Seth's head so Seth is humiliated instead I am not even surprised anymore that they do this at this point! They just take a mythical and symbolic scene and they turn it into some twisted SL whatever version to get others to get excited!

But man yeah I know it is terrible! I keep struggling with it every day especially with mainstream stuff that basically RUIN the myths for the world in my opinion especially with the changes (see for example PJO, Miller's books or Epic the Musical's plot) that basically make the world SOOOOOO revolved around these modern "adaptations" that is not even a joke, they literally use them almost as sources or as substitute for them! And it is infuriating to me. And yeah not only do they speak on them as if they are the substitute of sources but also they speak to those who point out that they are NOT as if they just bring up the usual "the myths have versions. This is one of them" like noooooo? If I create an SNL version of Star Wars does it make me an official creator? If I make Lord of the Rings Characters fuck with each other does that make me equal to Tolkien?! And yeah that is of course not even the same level as people who use ancient cultures' "modern adaptations" to not only substitute the actual sources but also to speak as if they are equivalent! Or even worse as if these "modern adaptations" are somehow "correcting" the ancient sources! That is what infuriates me the most when it happens!

[rangertessadarling]

"ranger's apprentice is a kids series"

oh ok, meanwhile

Will's drug addiction

Halt's traumatic childhood

Horace's bullies quite literally almost murdering him

The fucking creepy Kalkara things

Pretty much every violent fight scene

Sir Karen quite literally mind-controlling Alyss and attempting to seduce her

Will graphically almost dying in the desert from dehydration

Halt almost dying in b9

Horace using a literal torture method to get an answer out of the Genovesan (bro just casually poisoned him and made him run around to make it spread faster through his bloodstream like can someone say iconic)

The way Will's parents were basically both murdered

Will's speech for Horace and Cassandra's wedding. (it's just not suitable for any person of any age)

The graphically portrayed animal abuse

Alyss' death. Which was actually pretty gruesome, she died in pretty much the most tragic way someone could die. A fire so intense her body was never even recovered? which is um kind of traumatizing imo

Will's 'vigilante shit-- revenge' era, and his depression being handled very very poorly by his friends and family (literally made me angry reading those chapters for the first time)

Maddie quite literally getting drunk. at 15 years old. ma’am.

Dimon and Maddie's hookup

many, many, many, deaths. like many on-screen deaths. like one day I’m gonna go through the books and make a kill count. there’s legit a lot of death. (i am actually going to make a kill count now)

Rangers, in general, are pretty brutal people tbh. The way they handle a lot of situations is just kinda like "Eh strip them down to their underwear. dehumanize them, they deserve it." and ummm sure it's "funny" and I think that's what Flanagan was going for, but it's a littleee edgy on a moral level like calm down, they tried to rob you, but calm down

On that note, Gilan legitimately thinking of hanging some highway robbers and only being stopped because of the lack of trees around him. truly an icon.

[darklinaforever]

Daemon in love? Excuse me you can't be serious.

Grooming her

Trying to ruin her reputation

Abandoning her half naked in a brothel

Flirting with Laena in front of her salad

Leaving her again at the funeral cause the man was walking away if she wouldn't chase him, nothing would have happened. He didn't speak to her nor cared of doing that

Making up the excuse he spared her cause she was a child meanwhile married Laena, who was younger than Rhaenyra

Finishing as fast as possible the sex with her, he literally never looked at her once or kissed her again while fucking her. Rhaenyra was more tender cause she was holding him tight, he 0, nothing

Ignoring her feeling bad while baby was coming, ignoring her screams, calling his name during their child miscarriage

Looking at her with disgust during the funeral of Visenya (who knows what he was thinking)

Yelling at her during the council cause she doesn't want go war

Choking her out cause of the prophecy. Almost KILLING her cause she couldn't literally breathe anymore and if he didn't stop he would have killed her!

And this is nothing yet, wait for S2 and have fun on watching how Daemon damage Rhaenyra in the name of the so called love named by you

Yall saying he's in love by watching glances of flirting while grooming and kisses is out of your mind. Be for fucking real!

As I said before, this has all been covered many times, but you don't accept my answers and act like a parrot.

Daemon is a gray character and his actions are therefore generally complex, not meant to simply be boiled down to purely good or purely evil, like the brothel scene. But again all you care about is pushing your evil groomer Daemon agenda. Once again, Daemon is a gray character and this book and show grooming story is bullshit :

Over the centuries, House Targaryen has produced both great men & monsters. Prince Daemon was both. In his day there was not a man so admired, so beloved, & so reviled in all Westeros. He was made of light & darkness. To some he was a hero, to others the blackest of villains.

I've already literally said that this strangulation scene was stupid and incoherent and that, no, it's not because GRRM accepted this scene that it makes sense. GRRM also confirmed the last season of GOT with its ending and we often all talk about how stupid and incoherent it was and that GRRM himself said that its ending would be different from the show. Once again, books and show are not the same thing. Unless of course you are one of the imbeciles believing that Daenerys' behavior was consistent at the end of the series... In which case I would have enough information on your capacity for analysis. In fact, the simple fact that you repeat the grooming argument over and over proves it enough to me...

Also, once again you are complaining about me saying Daemon loves Rhaenyra, well then complain about the writers and directors who said that and also about Matt Smith. Are you planning to harass them too ?

Oh and for the :

"Finishing as fast as possible the sex with her, he literally never looked at her once or kissed her again while fucking her. Rhaenyra was more tender cause she was holding him tight he 0, nothing"

Here's what Daemon did during the love scene, even though he apparently didn't do anything or show any signs of tenderness...

Rhaenyra didn't try to kiss Daemon during their sex scene either ? As if that was proof of anything ? Like they hadn't kissed multiple times before with Daemon gently holding Rhaenyra's chin ? As if Daemon hadn't rested his forehead tenderly on hers ? As if he hadn't slowly loosened his dress ? As if he hadn't tenderly kissed and caressed her shoulders ? As if he hadn't held her face in his hands to look at her ? As if he hadn't squeezed her thigh in his hands ? As if he didn't caress her face again before resting his forehead on hers ? Oh and if you watch from 1 minute and 14 seconds to 1 minute and 17 seconds Daemon actually puts his arm under Rhaenyra to hug her too. Then as if the sex itself hadn't been slow and tender ? Saying that he's done with sex with her as soon as possible is the biggest bad joke I've seen. 😂

And then I repeat myself, but I don't care what happens to this already shitty and incoherent show. Even if Daemon cheat on Rhaenyra in the show, it will not impact the book because, small detail that you seem to ignore again and again, the book is not the show and the show is not the book, the canon of the book and the show canon are not the same thing. If Daemon cheats on Rhaenyra in the show, that won't be proof that he cheated on her in the book. It's you who seems to be in complete disillusionment repeating over and over again that you can't wait for the rest of the show to come out as if Daemon cheat Rhaenyra ever comes true was going to destroy me even though I don't fucking care basically. The book will still exist and from there, fuck you.

Also, no matter what happens, I will always have this magnificent musical composition for Daemyra :

And again, stop acting like you care about Rhaenyra's abuse. If that were the case you would be talking about Alicent and the Greens in general and above all, you would not proudly proclaim that you can't wait to see Daemon abuse Rhaenyra again and again in season 2. Seriously you are all completely sick...

Once again I recommend going to the tumblr of @la-pheacienne and of @horizon-verizon to educate you on what the character of Daemon and the Daemyra relationship really is. The posts of @stromuprisahat are also pretty good in general on Fire and Blood.

@aleksanderscult

[kaibutsushidousha]

Thoughts on Kiara and the CCC Sakura's?

Kiara is a character that took time to warm up. I played CCC and loved Kiara and Anderson as a pair but didn't like either character individually. SE.RA.PH also impressed me very little, but she got a fun part to play in Paradise Lake so that's one contribution from FGO. But it was with her part in Tsukihime, literally just two lines of dialogue, that I got to think back and realize that I like Kiara, actually.

Anyways, the central idea that defines the whole of Kiara's character is that she doesn't know how to read. She's an unstoppable force that reshapes the world with her genius of religion, sexuality, psychology, programming, and magecraft, but literature is her weakest subject. She's blind to themes and symbolism, dull to metaphors, and unaware of subtext.

Her story is that she was born with the saintly nature of a bodhisattva, but confined to a bed in an isolationist Tachikawa cult. It was a harsh childhood where she was sick and objectified but she had the company of books telling her the teaching of the Buddha and heartwarming tales like The Little Mermaid.

Her life changed at age 14 when she was introduced to the internet. Thanks to it, she learned her disease was easily treatable and fixed herself, but most importantly, she discovered no one in her village healed despite it being super simple. Remember this is a Buddhist devotee who sucks at reading. She grew up reading that the sattva defines sentient beings as any life capable of compassion, and with her abysmal interpretation skills, believed this was completely literal. Therefore, the people around her weren't sentient. By Kiara's dumbass definition, was the only human being she knew.

What makes Kiara is the fact that her dehumanization of others and the power her talents give her over people's lives often lead to megalomania. People kill themselves en masse over her and her reaction is thinking that's hot, actually. People confront and checkmate her and her reaction is to kill herself before the hero who took so many innocent lives to reach can have the satisfaction of doing it. (Amazingly timely with the new SE.RA.PH chapter that came the day after I received this ask)

But despite her pride consistently getting the better of her, that pride is still derived from the fact she is sentient, therefore capable of compassion. She's a natural-born bodhisattva (mostly) always extending the hand of salvation to those beneath her. Just... the functionally illiterate Tachikawa Buddhist way, which involves making the entire world nut into moksha. But hey, at least her heart is in the right place. I can fix her. (Note: this does not mean you can fix her. I'm talking specifically about myself because, at least on paper, I'm a licensed Japanese literature teacher)

CCC is the story of her attempt to cheat the Holy Grail War in order to reach the Enlightenment necessary for this, and her partner there is Andersen, the author of her favorite childhood stories. Andersen's Noble Phantasm can reshape fate to ensure her plot goes as intended but under the condition it must be true to the themes of Andersen's stories. And understanding the themes just happens to be Kiara's greatest weakness.

Kiara hacked the ability to fall in love into a Mooncell superior AI to she could seduce Sakura into giving her early access to the Grail, but when Hakuno shows up for Sakura's help first, Kiara decided it was hotter that way and left Hakuno to do the brunt of her work. At this moment, her loss is already decided. No matter how many times she lovingly read Andersen's tales, she's a poor enough reader to never have realized he's a writer that punishes his protagonists for short-sightedness. The Little Mermaid and The Girl Who Sells Matches died for this.

The type of protagonist Andersen rewards are the ones like The Ugly Duckling, who never have it easy until they reach the discovery that changes their lives. And Kiara just made Hakuno into The Ugly Duckling of CCC instead of her.

In reality, Kiara could never get what she was asking for out of Andersen. Her win condition under his literary themes was for Sakura's love and Kiara's interactions with the rest of the CCC cast to make her find compassion in others, grow out of her messiah complex, and find ordinary happiness in the company of her fellow sentient human beings.

And that's all from CCC, but Kiara is one of the most recurring characters in current TM, so we have FGO and Tsukihime showing different facets of Kiara under the circumstances of different timelines.

FGO ultimately hijacks its Kiara with her CCC counterpart, but before that, she has a quite fascinating set of circumstances. Here we have a genuinely saintly Kiara. Unlike in CCC, here she was visited and cured by a wandering doctor instead of finding the solution to her illness on her own, so she never had the opportunity to arrive at her "I'm the only human being" mentality. After leaving her hometown, she still became a qualified therapist as usual, but this time earnestly dedicated to the benefit of her fellow sentient beings.

But the curious thing about this deviation in her backstory is how it relies on the FGO timeline having some wandering doctor in 2006 who somehow didn't exist in any other timeline to help Kiara there too. Unrelated picture of Dr. Romani Archaman (2004-2016) during his initial years of globetrotting before he returned to Marisbury.

Anyways, the transplanted CCC Kiara is defeated and drops her Alterego in Chaldea out of curiosity. Her next main story role is in Oo'oku, she gets to find her opposite in Kama and ultimately drags her to a new home where the two of them can find the simple happiness they lacked, preferably far away from each other. Lastly, her summer in Paradise Lake shows off a more balanced Kiara, still kinda high on the messiah complex and still the bad reader demanding a sequel for the sake of a sequel, but knowing where the draw the line. The AnKia fluff is also sublime as always.

Then Tsukihime is technically Kiara's latest appearance. She only gets two lines to explain her backstory, and it's honestly the funniest thing ever done with her megalomania. Tsuki Kiara is completely successful in her ascension to the rank of Maradeva but learned how much of a small fry she was compared to the True Devils of the Buddhist universe and noped back to Earth where she was still almighty (does that make her a tengu or am I being as literal about Buddhist definitions as her?). Tsuki Kiara has no excuses left to pretend this isn't about her ego first and foremost, but at least she found a place in the Burial Agency, where she can still offer others some kinda salvation.

Anon is also asking about the Sakuras, but I think I'll leave that for another time in another ask because this has already gotten really long just talking about Kiara. Sorry for delivering only half the answer.

[pyromaniacbibliophile]

Bricktober day 8- Canon Era

@lesmis-prompts , @cossie-fauchelevant thought u might like this

So, despite literally everything else i've written for bricktober being canon era, the actual prompt 'canon era' didn't want to be written. SO then i took a few liberties and this happened. In summary: have the greek gods discussing les amis and also Fantine's life story (which is probably wildly inaccurate as i have STILL NOT READ THE B00K TO MY ETERNAL FRUSTRATION so yeah.

This may well become an Actual Thing at some point. You have been warned.

_______________________________

The gods are very much real. They would like to start with that. The Gods of Olympus, yes those gods, yes the ones who commit incest and bestiality on a daily basis (to say nothing of the affairs), they are real. 

It started one day quite some time ago. Around 1810, to be more precise. Hades was chatting with a soul who had recently died, her name was Fantine. Now, Fantine had a rather interesting story to tell. 

She was born in Paris in 1796, and never knew her parents. A stranger gave her the name Fantine, which, having little alternative, she kept. Being a girl desperate for money , one thing led to another and she was seduced by a man named Felix Tholomyes. 

In short order, she became pregnant and gave birth to a daughter in 1815, who she named Euphrasie. However when Euphrasie was no older than one year, Felix abandoned her. She managed to keep her daughter fed for a little over a year before she decided that Euphrasie should have better and so gave her to a couple called the Thenardiers, who ran an inn and had a daughter a similar age to Euphrasie. 

She moved to Montreuil sur Mer and got a job in Monsieur Madeleine’s factory. Monsieur Madeleine was the town’s mayor and a good man, although she discovered later he wasn’t just that. Almost all her money she sent to the Thenardiers and kept barely enough to live on. 

One day it was discovered that she had a daughter and she was fired from the factory. Desperate, she sold her necklace, her hair, and lastly her body. Though she got by for a little while, there came a most despicable man. She refused to let him sleep with her and went so far as to punch him. The police were called and she was almost arrested, however Monsieur Madeleine stepped in. She was taken to a hospital and Madeleine promised to find her child and raise her as his own. 

She was on the verge of death when the Inspector of the police burst in. He accused Madeleine of being a criminal named Valjean. The two men argued furiously for many minutes yet Madeleine never denied the accusations so she supposed they must be true. 

She decided that really she didn’t mind; Valjean or Madeleine, he was a kind man nonetheless. 

Eventually the Inspector attempted to arrest Valjean, who spat at him, overpowered him, and ran out. It was at this point that Fantine died. 

Hades had listened intently to her tale, then, feeling curious, decided to look up this Valjean man in his Book. 

The Book was a slim tome, on first appearances appearing like it barely contained any words at all. Hades pulled it off the shelf and spoke briskly to it. 

“Show me Valjean.” The Book creaked a bit before opening, spinning through thousands and thousands of pages before settling on the entry for one Jean Valjean/Maire Madeleine/Prisoner 24601. 

It began: Jean Valjean was born in- Hades skipped that page, scanning to see where the important stuff started. A few pages later he spotted the entry for the 9th of December, 1795. To summarise, this Valjean stole a loaf of bread for his sister’s son, promptly got arrested and sentenced to 19 years in the Prison of Toulon. Over the length of his time he tried to escape many times before being released on parole. Unable to get work, he stole some candles from a bishop, got caught, but all was not lost as the bishop lied and said he had given Valjean the candlesticks originally. 

Successfully guilted into becoming a good man, Valjean moved to M-sur-M and, under a false name, became the Mayor. Hades skipped further ahead to the end of his entry, which read: Valjean is currently attempting to elude the police while also aiming to rescue Euphrasie/Cosette from the Thenardiers. 

Well, this sounded exactly like the sort of chaos his family would adore..

_          ______________ _________

Some Years Later

______________–_____—-______

“APHRODITE!” Dionysus yelled, storming up Mount Olympus. 

“Yes, oh great-nephew?” The goddess of beauty smiled winsomely.

Dionysus was not swayed. “Don’t even go there, great aunt, why the HADES is Grantaire, my Chosen Representative in this drama, hopelessly in love with Enjolras!” 

“That would, in truth, be my fault. Dear brother.” Apollo answered, sidling around a corner. 

“What have you got to do with it?” Dionysus exclaimed, in the tones of someone who knows they will not be pleased to hear the answer. 

“Well, as you may remember, Enjolras is my Chosen Representative in this.. How did you put it? Oh yes, this ‘drama’. Thus, he gets both my eloquence and persuasive ability, to say nothing of the fact that he was already exceedingly handsome. If we hadn’t all sworn off sleeping with anyone tied into this- would you say it’s a revolution yet? Anyway, if we hadn’t I would be in his bed as quick as lightning, and I’m a god. No wonder your drunk artist is hopelessly in love… with… him..” 

“Apollo?” Aphrodite asks, a half-flicker of curiosity in her voice. 

“Damned Ashes of Kronos!” Said Olympian curses. 

“What is it?” Aphrodite questions, relentlessly ignoring Dionysus’ slow grin of realisation. 

“He’s bloody well gone and fallen in love with Grantaire!” 

Dionysus bursts out laughing. Aphrodite rolls her eyes. Boys, honestly. 

“You do realise this means you are going to suffer through months of them both pining?”

“WHAT!?” The god of wine gasps, looking at Aphrodite as if she’s just killed his wife. 

At the same time, Apollo shouts “MONTHS?!?” incredulously. 

“Oh, at least. It’s not like they’re just going to confess, are they? Your Grantaire has the self esteem of a fly, Dy, and your Enjolras, Pollo, - has the emotional intelligence of a bee-No, not even a bee, the emotional intelligence of Zeus. May I also remind you that homosexuality is currently illegal in most of the world including France. Getting it yet?” 

Both gods turn to each other in horror. 

“We’re doomed.” They say in sync. 

“Yep!” She smirks as she saunters off to find some more intelligent company. 

She finds it in Hestia and Artemis, who are sitting around a fire chatting. Hestia greets her as Artemis gestures for her to sit down. 

“Dite, we were just talking about you! Well, your Chosen Representative to be more precise, but one and the same!”

Aphrodite isn’t quite sure whether to be pleased or affronted at the comparison to Marius Pontmercy, her Chosen Representative. She settles on pleased, after all Marius is very much a part of her that she usually hides; the part that loves too hard and just wants to make others happy. Over the centuries she has learned to push that part  down but this whole affair is letting her slowly accept it, amongst other things.

“Oh? What’s he done now?” 

Both Hestia and Artemis sigh. 

“That bad, huh?” 

“To be fair, Dite, he’s just a lovesick fool. Which is sort of the problem, really.” Hestia says. 

Artemis groans. “I just don’t understand how Eponine is in love with him! She’s my Chosen Representative, elle est très excellente avec- sorry, she’s very good with knives, she could do better than the fool!”

“I’ll admit, he has his flaws and he is naive, but he loves with all his heart. She could also do worse.” Aphrodite states. 

“Dite, I think the problem is slightly less ‘he’s a fool’ and more ‘he’s passionately in love with Cosette’.” Hestia adds, smiling at the thought of her Chosen Representative, who she loves. After all, Cosette is as close to Hestia as humans can be, being kind, loving, possessive and protective of her family, mildly (severely) pyromaniacal... in short perfect for Hestia’s C.R. 

Aphrodite concedes the point, laughing. 

Artemis is about to say something rather cutting about fools in love when something happens. She freezes in horror. 

“Tia, Dite…” 

“What’s happened?” Hestia asks worriedly. 

“... Eponine’s fallen in love with Cosette as well as Marius..” 

For a second, there is silence. Hestia blinks at her, asking if she’s sure. 

“As certain as certain can be.” Artemis replies. 

“Oh, Arte. You complain about ‘lovesick fools’ then your own C.R turns into one herself.” Aphrodite teases, when Hestia goes very quiet then bursts into slightly hysterical laughter. 

“Tia…” Both goddesses say warily. 

“You’ll never believe what just happened.” Hestia says in a very flat tone. 

“Cosette fell in love with Eponine as well as Marius?” Aphrodite asks sarcastically. When there’s no answer she pauses. “No..” 

Hestia only nods. 

“You know, I reckon this is our fault.” Artemis says. 

“How do you figure that, Arte?” Hestia asks. 

“I mean, we fell in love. They’re our Chosen Representatives. They’ve just fallen in love although they haven’t quite confessed it yet. So…” 

The three are very quiet as they think that over. 

In a voice full of false cheer, Aphrodite questions “So, loves, how’s Zeus getting on with the massive identity crisis he’s having thanks to his Chosen Representative?” 

They jump at the change of subject and manage to distract themselves successfully for a while. 

Back down in the underworld, Persephone is taking tea with Fantine. 

_______________________________

In case anyone’s interested

Apollo- Enjolras

Dionysus- Grantaire

Aphrodite- Marius

Hestia- Cosette

Artemis- Eponine

Zeus- Javert

Hermes- Gavroche

Athena- Combeferre

Ares- Probably Bahorel

Eleos (lesser known goddess of forgiveness and mercy)-  Valjean

Hera- Fantine just for the heck of it (even tho Fantine’s alr dead)

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

tell me your thoughts about the lore of Circe vs Calypso 

EPIC-wise? Circe really helps the crew out (after transforming them to pigs but whatever haha), while Calypso holds Odysseus captive and repeatedly tries to sexually assault him.

If we're talking more canon to the Odyssey, though, Odysseus slept with both women. Depending on the source, Circe seduced him or he wanted to sleep with her, but there's no ambiguity; they slept together. But with Calypso, there seems to be a unanimous agreement that whatever was between them was nonconsensual on Odysseus's behalf.

They're pretty similar in that they're both exiled immortal daughters of titans- Circe's father is Helios, Calypso's is Atlas, so they both have fathers crucial to the everyday function of the world (literally). Circe was exiled to a magic island (Aeaea) because she fell in love with the god Glaucus, who preferred Scylla to her, resulting in Circe using magic to transform her into the six-headed hydra. Meanwhile, Calypso was exiled to Ogygia for taking her father Atlas's side in the war between the titans and the Olympians.

Overall, I see their differences and their similarities and think they're interesting. Circe's first reaction is defense because all men who come to her island have ever done is hurt her and her nymphs, so she strikes first. She may have had actual feelings for Odysseus; who knows? In the Odyssey, they did have a son together, and she later took in Penelope and Telemachus after his passing. But the bottom line is, in my opinion, their affair was consensual.

Meanwhile, Calypso is lonely; no one ever seeks out her island, they just seem to happen upon it. She's lonely, and it is an EXPLANATION for her falling head over heels for anyone who finds Ogygia, but it is not an EXCUSE for sexually assaulting Odysseus and any other person, PERIOD.

But, then again, we seem to have lots more info on Circe; we haven't gotten the depth-lore from Jorge in EPIC yet, that'll come later in (spoiler alert) Not Sorry For Loving You. We saw a lot of backstory from him with Circe, but also by, for example, Madeline Miller in her book Circe. Calypso's story is much more unexplored.

But at the end of the day, they're both victims despite also being perpetrators: Wrongfully cast out for petty things done in their youth or out of necessity, just more women who are easy victims taken advantage of by more powerful deities to hash out their drama.

[chaifootsteps]

It'd be the absolute worst if the show had Blitz say he wants to keep the full moon deal going. It'd be trying to play it like 'see? Blitz doesn't feel exploited, he wants to be exploited some more!! Stolas Did Nothing Wrong and you people were just reading way too much into it'. Even if Blitz did want to keep the deal going, it's not like it would retroactively make it OK in the first place. 1) Stolas used him getting shot at to coerce him into it, 2) Blitz looked like he was visibly dreading Stolas' enthusiasm over the phone, 3) Stolas was effectively still holding his ability to keep his business going over his head the entire time they had the deal going, 4) Ozzie's shows Blitz feels he has to placate Stolas with sex and immediately associates being alone with Stolas = having to sleep with him, a notion Stolas has done nothing to dispel and 5) Blitz had been literally sold to be Stolas' friend for the day as a child - even if he had somehow rationalized to himself that what Stolas is doing is OK, it wouldn't make it OK, it would just suggest Blitz has been raised in a world where he has to compartmentalize being sold or selling himself to rich nobles in order to survive as normal.

Honestly if they go that route I think it'll be the most disgusting thing the show has ever done, and it would remind me of the worst trope BL stories are prone to - where one character rapes another and the last act of the story 'reveals' the victim actually wanted it the whole time in an attempt to recontextualize the assault as being consensual so the perpetrator can be rewritten into a straightforward love interest. I hate that trope so much, it feeds into so many pernicious myths about SA. I just don't understand how the writers can want to cape for Stolas so much that they're willing to throw not only all the stories complexity on the bonfire, but any kind of ethical backbone, too.

It really feels like they had Blitz seduce Stolas for the book that first time (instead of it being spontaneous on both ends or Stolas proposing it, since Blitz's dialogue in the pilot is ambiguous) to make it look like they're mutually using one another and somehow soften Stolas' actions, even though Blitz wasn't exactly subtle about the fact that he intended it to be a one time thing and only wanted the book. If Stolas had just demanded the grimoire back it's not like Blitz could have refused, literally no one forced Stolas to sleep with Blitz the first time or to keep booty calling him or demand monthly sex from him. It was all his choice to do that. And frankly there's a big difference between using someone to survive, and using someone to get your kicks knowing you can tank their business at any moment.

This, all of it.

Fully prepared for the bile to rise pretty high in my throat after this episode, but I'm prepared to do some serious tamping.

[mermaidsirennikita]

hiya, do you have any recs that mostly takes place during a countryside house party?? like what i did for a duke and the viscount who loved me and etc. No real plot, just a couple of dumdums stuck together in a house, falling in love in ~literal~ days lmao

Hmmm

Joanna Shupe's Fifth Avenue Rebels kicks off with a beachside house party in Newport. One of my favorite series of all time—the latter two books take place largely back in New York, but most of The Heiress Hunt (the first book) and a lot of The Lady Gets Lucky (the second) take place at the house party. You have some overlapping timelines stuff, and of course it all leads up to the final book, The Duke Gets Even, when you learn that there was muuuuuch more to that house party than what was originally thought...

Again, beach instead of countryside, but it's very much the same thing But With Water Shenanigans. Also tennis. Nobody has a job. People hide. It's great.

A lot of Grace Callaway's The Viscount Always Knocks Twice takes place at a house party. This being a Grace Callaway book, there's a mUUUUURDER (which the intrepid heroine decides to solve, while the stern, flustered hero is all "PLEASE. SIT DOWN. SIX FEET AWAY." to no avail) and it's super fun. Like, please know that Grace Callaway murders are not like normal murders. I don't always love a mystery, but she does it in a way that props up the romance, versus the other way around.

Also, this is another one where in a later book (my favorite Grace book) Regarding the Duke, you find out that OTHER STUFF happened at the house party. Namely, Adam Garrity attempting to scheme his way into seducing a woman for power and money, only to play himself as it turns out Oh No, He Loves His Wife.

Infamous by Minerva Spencer largely takes place at a Christmas-adjacent (but Christmas isn't really the point, though people do sled and get snowed in together) country house party. There are actually two romances, and the heroes are twins. The nerdy twin (who is very slutty now, but in a super efficient way) runs into the woman who bullied him back when she was the hottest girl on the block. But NOW she's an old lady's paid companion and has fallen on (very) hard times. And naturally.... it's on. The titled twin has been married to a woman he had to marry due to a compromise situation (which was the aforementioned hot girl's fault) for the past decade. They have a totally quiet, dutiful marriage where they only do it for procreative purposes. Two kids in, they get along fine but it's very distant. Except. He's SUPER in love with her now. And he wants the marriage to be real!!!!

A Rake's Rules for Seduction by Caroline Linden is a house party book. In this case, the hero is best friends with the heroine's brother, and he was about to court her six years ago after realizing his feelings, but then she got engaged to another man. Now she's a depressed widow, and he is a NOTORIOUS rake who everyone talks shit about. But.... the feelings are still there. And things go down. Mostly him.

A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh is one where they're at a house party except it's on an ISLAND, and this is important because the hero and heroine absolutely don't want to see each other, what with him leaving her at the altar a while ago. But their friends are like "TOO BAD. LOVE IS HAPPENING." and basically they trap 'em on the island. And they're like D:. It's great.

Goddess of the Hunt by Tessa Dare... I can't remember if this is a house party book, exactly? But I feel like it is. Everyone is at a house. It's in the country. The heroine and the hero are stuck in a closet together at some point (this also happens in The Viscount Always Knocks Twice, it's a historical thing). The hero is friends with the heroine's brother, and the brother basically sends him in to distract her, as she's trying to seduce their OTHER friend, who's supposed to marry another woman. Real feelings ensue.

Never Seduce a Duke by Vivienne Lorret has, I believe, a house party situation. The hero and heroine met each other in this very insane situation wherein he thought she was stealing his priceless Arthurian cookbook. Then he chased her across Europe for a minute, and she didn't realize this was like... a thing. THEN. Things Happened. THEN. They got separated and she was unable to reach him. Which was a bit of a problem, as she had a Thing Which He Really Should Have Been Notified Of after the Other Thing Happened. A Special Souvenir, you could say. An Unexpected Eurotrip Consequence. Anyway, he shows up at her brother's country estate for like, a gathering situation (I forget exactly why, but you get me) and everyone is together, and this girl has to cover up the fact that she absolutely had this man's baby, wasn't able to tell him, and now has to deal with his feelings.

It's really funny AND really hot, and I would recommend heartily. I believe Lorret's The Wrong Marquess, which is in the same series but a couple books earlier, also kicks to a house party at some point in the book. I also love this one. The hero initially hates the heroine who he sees as a bad influence on his little sister (who's actually.... the one who gets pregnant on a Eurotrip.... so idk points may have been made there in retrospect) but he later becomes oBSESSED. She's waiting for another man to propose, but during this whole countryside excursion, he makes his argument for banging known.

Oh. OBVIOUSLY, the first two Wallflowers books take place in large part at Westcliff's big country estate and various house party shenanigans occur. In Secrets of a Summer Night, Operation Trap a Man takes place there, with Annabelle accidentally trapping Simon. And in It Happened One Autumn, Westcliff is all "all of my friends and also that annoying girl Lillian who I want to impregnate should visit my house!!!! Even my broke slutty friend Sebastian!!!!"

[zeglyths]

what are your thoughts about daphne sa’ing simon?

hi anon! i am not a victim, and my interpretation of the scene may be different. that is a very open discussion and i do not believe that a single opinion is right. if anyone is offended with what i have to say, they are more than welcome to share their own thoughts.

book

what i said above only applies to the show. there cannot be any other interpretation for the book other than what it is: rape.

let's add the setting for the book: daphne and simon were just going to sleep when she suddenly wonders why he tries to keep her as far as possible from his release. she asks him why can't he have kids and it that was his seed. the fight about the vow unfolds and so far daphne is in the right.

simon knows that, but is hate for his father is too strong, understandably so. two days later, he gets so drunk he cannot even stand or think properly. daphne allows him to sleep in her bed.

and somehow, that twisted bitch thinks that "she can have anything she wants." LINE TAKEN FROM THE BOOK.

she unbuttons his breeches and strokes him, while he is DRUNK AND SLEEPING. he is horny and drunk, not in the right sense of mind. he never even gave her explicit consent, even when 'encouraging' her. (he later blames himself for this)

she seduces and rides him, and she forces in to come inside of her even though she knew about his vow and was sure of what his seed would do. (this is very different from how the show portrayed it and i'll explain that later)

the way it unfolds after is heartbreaking. simon feels betrayed and hurt, not comfortable with her touching him anymore, so much that he genuinely begins to stutter again. he leaves the estate, and she cries because she did not actually think that he would leave her, and even openly admits that she is not ashamed and thought she was in the right, she takes residence in hastings house in london for the next 2 months that they are apart, and never mentions why they separated to her concerned family, which caused them to grow some kind of hatred towards him. anthony was in charge of delivering the letter that informed him that she missed her courses (which was a false alarm) and threatens simon. simon blames himself for encouraging her seduction (he was drunk) and goes to london because of the child. there, they reconcile and the first thing daphne does after telling him that she is not pregnant is ask if he left her because she forced herself on him. he says no, and says he left because she made him so vulnerable he began stuttering again. which is literally the same thing: she violated him, and he was so hurt he began to stutter.

after a comedic relief scene with the bridgertons, when they have sex again, daphne says that she doesn't want children if he doesn't (after all that) and would like some time for themselves, but he still says that he does and all in all, they get a happily ever after.

i'd also like to mention that simon wasn't exactly the ideal man either. he constantly viewed daphne as an object and projected all his sexual desires (unhealthily) on her. he was verbally abusive up with her up to the point of #that scene (yes, he was also abusive when he was drunk)

this was utterly disgusting for me to read. i could barely get through the pages. these are situations that real-life people go through, that should not be painted in a good light or be promoted as romance.

show

the show's scene is different. simon and daphne have their fight about the vow after she forced herself. she did not know what his 'seed' would do.

yes, she did ask her maid that night, but take it this way: her mother did not give her the slightest of information on how to make child. she told her that simon would know, and daphne fully trusted both simon and her mother as well. she was exploring her sexual side when she noticed him not releasing inside of her. she did not know what that meant. he did. he took advantage of her naïveté.

when she asked her maid, it was difficult for her to believe that he would lie to her. she trusted him the most with her body. he was the only man that had touched her that far. she did not want for him to have lied to her. she could not even think of the slightest reason why he would not want to have children. if she confronted him directly, he would have made up another lie to cover for it.

it was a simple situation: she would force him to come inside of her, and if he was upset then he had lied. yes, he told her to wait, yes, she did not stop, and yes, that bordered sexual assault.

"oh but you wouldn't say that if a man did that to a woman." actually, the situation cannot happen with gender reversed.

this takes place in 1813. society tried their utter best to keep women as innocent as a child, and fresh for her husband. the man, however, was free to do whatever he wanted. simon especially, was a whore.

he knew explicitly how to make children, while daphne only had the idea of some kind of marital act they had to perform that would eventually end up in child.

they both were in the wrong, maybe daphne moreso than simon. and that’s honestly all i think.

[demonscantgothere]

Don't you think that the team of the series (including Charlie) simply cannot recognize any romantic feelings between Sauron and Galadriel, although this was clearly hinted at in every possible way in the series. Too many show haters because they "ruined the canon of the books", too many against any hint of love between them. If they also recognized the love between Sauron and Galadriel in the canon of the series, there would be even more hatred. And so … they hinted at it in every way, but they cannot officially admit it. That why all this talk about the "cosmic connection", and not about the romantic one. Although "cosmic connection" is even cooler)))

Oh no, they recognize it. They're the ones that wrote it this way. They explicitly wrote this storyline. I know Gennifer Hutchison said she brought up the shipping aspect in the writers' room and the guys were like, "Nah!" But in their defense, men are dense like that. They wrote Sauron as proposing to Galadriel. Queens only answer to one king: their husband. That's how monarchy works.

That face caress? That delicate face cradle? What was that? Platonic face cradling??? Yeah, me and my friends do that all the time.

He literally called her "fair," which translates to Hella Fuckin' Hot in Tolkienverse language.

I mean, what is it with the way he looks at Galadriel? "Oh, I seduce my enemies all the time, bby grl." NO, YOU DON'T, YOU HO.

Sauron was checking out Galadriel from Day One when she showed up in that see-through shift:

. . . And when he rescued her from the sea, he literally had THIS look on his face. You know what this look says? It says, "I COULD EAT YOU THE FUCK UP," THAT'S WHAT THIS LOOK SAYS:

PLEASE, HE WOULD SO EAT HER UP IF SHE WOULD LET HIM.

They are probably denying it because they want to write more of it later, and they want it to catch people off guard. Most shows - no, all shows - tease at stuff like this for years to keep fans hooked, so them choosing the route of denial is highly suspect. I think they're upset about the Halbrand/Sauron reddit leak before the show debuted, tbf.

I also think Charlie denies it for two reasons: PR purposes, so nobody can come for him and/or his own morals and values because Sauron is about to do some really heinous shit, and because he's being asked to deny it when questions are brought up about it. He has especially been very and back forth with it, I've noticed. Sometimes he's so iffy, and sometime he flat out denies it.

So, you know, fine. Say it isn't romantic. You know what it is that you can't deny, though? It's sure as hell sexually charged. And I'll take that interpretation, too, because your ass can't deny that shit. I have two eyes, and I'm not blind. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[oonajaeadira]

hello hi hola 💕😌 I’m being an odd one in some people’s inboxes (and I’ve chosen you HAHAHAH)

if you could “meet cute” with any pedro boy, who would you pick, where would you meet and what fun fact would you tell them about yourself on your first date to score a second date?

love, @undercoverpena

Oh, that's an interesting question!!! Hello, The Jo! I'm so glad to be chosen for oddness!!!!

I think Ezra would make the most fun meet cute. It would definitely be one of those instances of literal bumping into things. Like I'm at the library and carrying a stack of books out the door and he just comes barreling through the other way while he's looking in every direction but right in front of him.

Ezra's one of those people that would stop and help right the situation and then look up and be instantly focused on this human, trying to figure out what makes them tick and how to seduce them (romantically or platonically).

That instant, forceful charm would knock me off my game in a heartbeat. He'd have his foot in the door so fast, I'd be in my car ten minutes later, staring at the wheel wondering how I woke up that morning thinking it was going to be a normal day only to end it with a date on the books.

I don't know that I'd have to strategize telling Ezra anything on the date in order to score a second date. I'd imagine if he actually asked me on a first date, he would already be sold and collecting the many reasons he might find me an interesting study. If anything would make him stop in the middle of a mouthful of food, it might be my unabashed enthusiasm for art or mythology or just the fact that I don't hold back showing it when there's something I really love. And maybe he would enjoy my budding interest in geology and find in me an entertaining student, someone who is interested in his field but maybe not so knowledgeable that he doesn't get to yak on and on about it...and have a willing ear to boot.

But if I found out that I liked him too, if I wanted to try to impress him? Well, I can see he's got a mischievous streak in him, and I bet he might enjoy any number of stories of some chances I've taken and rules I've broken....

[ladyminaofcamelot]

Re-read Parsifal's Page recently, and a few fun things that stood out to me this time:

Piers was elven at the start of the book. Eleven. And his parents just. Sent him off! With a knight they'd just met! Like Trebuchet. Sir. I understand that he's on The Quest or whatever, but that is a baby.

Parsifal picking Kai up by the scruff of his neck as if he's an angry kitten. Somehow I always forget that this happens and yet it always cracks me up.

I love Piers but watching Parsifal have his sweet inquisitive nature sucked out of him hurts and it's an absolute crime that Piers instigated this.

The scene where Piers gets an axe for Parsifal and mocks the smith's work is ten times funnier when we remember how young he is. Middle aged man who has been at the forge all his life just got roasted and shown up by a child who probably barely comes up to his elbow. Classic.

Parsifal telling Piers, "I wouldn't have thought it of you," after Piers admits to having seen a faery. Like okay I get it but you didn't have to roast him like that.

Piers thinking that the faeries surrounding him and trying to entice him away only for his father to chase them off was a dream. He's probably been surrounded by magical craziness all his life and just. Pretends it's his imagination. Of course I'm sure it doesn't help that his mother's solution to him being sick as a child was apparently to get him blackout drunk. But I digress.

Connie trying to be a girl boss only to be immediately shut down because she is surrounded by people who have known her since the day she was born and remember her teenage horse girl phase.

On the topic of horses, Parsifal's deserves a raise. This man learned how to fight and how to talk polite but certainly not how to be nice to a horse and it shows. It's a wonder he hasn't killed the poor thing.

The fact that if Parsifal had found the castle before becoming a knight who wanted to do great deeds he would have been exactly the sort of person who would ask the question but he never would have found the castle if he didn't want to do great deeds but the country boy who lived in the woods was more likely to ask questions than the knight but the country boy wouldn't have found- you get the idea. Thinking about this cycle absolutely kills me.

Rumor has it that if you listen hard while reading the scene where Arthur forgets Parsifal's name and starts listing other versions of the name as he tries to remember, you can hear Gerald Morris chuckling to himself.

There are few things funnier than Piers going, "I'm going to learn how to be a good servant by watching Sir Gawain's squire," only to have Terence give Gawain the silent treatment, proceed to insult him nine ways to Sunday, then relax and smile and chat like nothing happened after Gawain gets a chance to explain.

Half of Malchance's army turning on him because one of Terence's old friends was there.

Piers being equally capable of identifying ladies in waiting by their clothing as he is at identifying good steel. We focus on how he's secretly like his dad, but it's also not just the speaking french that makes him like his mother. This boy is a mix of both his parents, and not always in the way he thinks.

I never realized how absolutely heartbreaking the scene with the lady who tries to seduce Gawain is. Like, it's funny on the first read, but someone being driven mad because they couldn't cope with their father's grief is so horrifying, actually.

Gawain just knowing that Terence needs to stay with Trevisant without any discussion needed.

Guingalet launching a horse thief 8ft in the air.

Literal children Piers and Ariel not understanding why on earth a man would want to get into a castle full of women.

The absolute wildness of Kai to just. Straight up propose as soon as he discovers that the woman he's in love with isn't in love with someone else. Good on him, honestly. He knew what he wanted and went for it. (Also the way their marriage proposal/acceptance sounds like a challenge is so cute, actually. Like, yes, you lay out those terms of agreement for this life long commitment. It's adorable.)

The absolute weight of Parsifal not trusting magic anymore after the paths he's wandered. The absolute gut wrenching scene that is Piers trying to cry as quietly as possible after Parsifal rejected his gift. I just. Ow. So much ow.

Loved that Connie didn't immediately run to Parsifal with open arms. They had a discussion. His leaving hurt her. But they forgave and made it better. Almost as good as the practical Kai/Connoire marriage proposal.

Trebuchet recognizing a suit of armor he made before even recognizing his own son. The most renowned armorer in faery land, ladies and gentlemen. He has one special interest and we love him for that.

Just the whole message of the book. Things that are given are better than things that are earned, better to be a great husband/blacksmith/woodcutter than to have your praises sung by strangers, ask questions rather than trying to look smart, etc... it all feeds into a general theme of humility that is so poignant and so beautiful, and also reflects one of the running themes of the entire series. That's why I love this book, and this series in general. They're comedic, but they also resonate so deeply that you could think about it for hours.