#secretly a huge literary snob

[tarragonthedragon]

recently i opened the wrong folder on my laptop and accidentally watched the first twenty minutes of frankenstein under the mistaken impression that i was watching a particularly avant-garde production of jekyll and hyde. honestly i thought it was a great take on the material and i'm still thinking about it

[tarragonthedragon]

i am so glad to inform you all that a school play parody of toy story set in the trojan war does in fact exist:

[tarragonthedragon]

my dad asked why women like pride and prejudice so much and i joked "its the ultimate fantasy of a man actually listening to when you speak" and he interrupted me to disagree and say he thinks women just enjoy the awkwardness and the comedy and he does not understand why i'm laughing

[othiriel-corvire]

LAYER ONE—THE OUTSIDE • Name: Othiriel Corvire • Eye Colour: Blue, and startlingly so. • Hair Style/Colour: Black, above the shoulders, messy. • Height: Rather short for an elf. 5'1" if you only count to the top of her head and not her ears. 5'4" when she's wearing her "conference shoes." • Clothing Style: Professional but eclectic at work and "artfully dishevelled" at home, a look which takes far too much effort to perfect. • Best Physical Feature: "Is it crass to say my chest? It probably is, but I spend far too much time tailoring my clothes for them to just not mention it." LAYER TWO—THE INSIDE • Your Fears: "I fear being powerless to help those I care about." • Your Guilty Pleasure: "I feel I'm expected to talk about my romance novels here, but I'm don't feel guilty about those at all! Hm...perhaps my inordinate love for baths? Oh! Or mixing together the runoff from my alchemical classes and taste-testing it." • Your Biggest Pet Peeve: "Being ignored." • Your Ambition for the Future: "I would like to die shrouded in mystery, leaving behind a confusing but revered mess of research that many a generation of students will try, and fail, to crack the secrets of. Can you imagine how frustrated they'll be? Hah!" LAYER THREE—THOUGHTS • Your First Thoughts Waking Up: "Did I...leave a cauldron boiling overnight?" • What You Think About the Most:  "The best ways to aggravate Ophene Lacremont. It's shockingly easy, but I never grow tired of it." • What You Think About Before Bed: "Ophene and her silly little face. Also, the logistics of letting a cauldron boil overnight without causing terrible household damage." • You Think Your Best Quality Is: "I'm going to have to say my vast literary knowledge. The romance genre is certainly an elevated one, and it's simply the case that not everyone has the culture palate to be able to appreciate it. I, on the other hand, have spent many hundreds of years tirelessly studying every entry into the noble art I can get my hands on." LAYER FOUR—WHAT’S BETTER? • Single or Group Dates: "Single. Or group dates that rapidly turn into single dates." • To be Loved or Respected: "To be loved. Any old coot can get respect, but to be loved? That's a greater devotion." • Beauty or Brains: "Both, but one doesn't have to be academically smart to count as having a capital B Brain. I've come to appreciate other forms of intelligence." • Dogs or Cats: "Cats, without a doubt. And I'm not just saying that because Ophene acts like one." LAYER FIVE—DO YOU? • Lie: "When it suits me, though I make a habit of speaking the truth and just steamrolling through opposition. It works like a dream, and I don't have to lie!" • Believe in Yourself: "I am an exceptionally talented Archmage. Why wouldn't I believe in myself?" • Believe in Love: "Love is one of the strongest forces in the known world. It drives us all to do the silliest things, but...hm. I enjoy it." • Want Someone: "Of course I do. Luckily for me I can just go to the other room and bother her for attention if the desire gets too unbearable." LAYER SIX—EVER? • Been on Stage: "Once or twice as an undergrad. There was an impressive karaoke night in the Underbelly, every other Friday. I even won, once! The only other competitor was a Forsaken who hadn't regained full control of her voice box, granted, but still." • Done Drugs: "Is pure arcane energy really a drug? Oh, yes, apparently it is. Yes, then." • Changed Who You Were to Fit In: "My adamant refusal to do so never really earned me many friends." LAYER SEVEN—FAVOURITES • Favourite Colour: "Blue." • Favourite Animal: "Mana wyrms! Aren't they cute?" • Favourite Food: "If you asked me before my sabbatical I would have said 'anything I can conjure in under ten seconds.' I've since been treated to Ophene's cooking, though, and find myself favouring her honeyed toast." • Favourite Game: "Romance Novel Bingo." LAYER EIGHT—AGE • Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: November 27th • How Old Will You Be: 752 • Age You Lost Your Virginity: "It was rather late, as far as elves go. 100?" • Does Age Matter: "As long as they're genuinely of age and mature, it doesn't really matter to me. Clearly I have a penchant for older women." LAYER NINE—In A Partner • Best Personality: "Brusque, mysterious, lived in a tower. Huge snob about coffee. Secretly loves romance novels. That kind of thing." • Best Eye Colour: "Blue." • Best Hair Colour: "White." • Best Thing to Do With a Partner: "Writing a romance novel together, shortly followed by acting out the spiciest chapters." LAYER TEN—FINISH THE SENTENCE • I love: "...Ophene Lacremont." • I feel: "...at peace, for once." • I hide: "...the depths of my affections, lest I scare her off." • I miss: "...Quel'Thalas at its prime." • I wish: "...to stay with her forever."

((thank you @dratiniwearingawig for the tag!))

[tarragonthedragon]

i saw the same production and it was *so goooood*

oberon was absolutely fantastic? the stage presence was just so powerful but also so light and gleeful, you really bought this guy as a capricious fae king but one who tells silly jokes to himself and might bring together young lovers on a whim

and puck had such a threatening aura she was incredibleeeeee

saw midsummers at the globe and it was AMAZING i have no words

the costumes were so cool and puck was puck so continues to be the best character and the actors were so in tune with the audience and it was like 9pm

just everything about it was great my hands were so red from clapping so hard

[tarragonthedragon]

sometimes it's gay and feudalism

[tarragonthedragon]

sidenote the way you Know Odysseus is the cunning forethinking Greek hero is his immovable wedding bed in honour of Hera. this is a man who looked at the failings of every preceding hero and took steps.

[tarragonthedragon]

it is with great regret that I must inform you that I am once again thinking about Odysseus

[tarragonthedragon]

I want to be clear about the title that we are not part of the Wickham defense squad

Clickbait title: Everything Wrong With Pride and Prejudice

[tarragonthedragon]

petition to instate "buckle up" as the universally accepted translation of hwæt

[tarragonthedragon]

currently watching Shakespeare in love and honestly why must there be drama why must there be intrigue why must there be romance

more Shakespeare biopics where he's just Some Guy

[tarragonthedragon]

a lot of older horror and gothic literature has this theme of the terrors of the old worlds (mostly celtic and eastern european countries but also sometimes asian and african ones) encroaching on the Civilised Enlightened Heartland of the protagonists' home and i do love that theme but i also wish i saw it in more modern worlds where this is like, being discussed by the UN and causing twitter discourse

[tarragonthedragon]

can i nominate having victor hugo perpetually visible right at the stage entrance watching and enjoying the show along with the audience and periodically he does an excited little jump forwards and gestures for the performers to stop while he turns to the audience and goes "okay i'm very sorry to stop the show, i wouldn't do this if it wasn't relevant, but you really will appreciate it more if you know..."

meanwhile the performers all have to freeze in place and try not to distract the audience but a few of them are gaping at hugo in annoyance or making frantic gestures at him

it is crucial that at least once this happens while an actor is in a position that is completely impossible to freeze

honestly no matter how faithfully you adapt les miserables to stage or screen, nothing can really quite replicate the effect of hugo being like “so valjean got to this convent…. btw, just briefly, i don’t normally do this but bc it’s relevant, im gonna take 45 pages to tell u the history of the convent, all the significant nuns & their daily routines, & this is my opinion of organised religion in general - it fucking blows! - do you believe in god btw? we actually are god. philosophy and religion are both right. actually, convents are quite noble sometimes when u think about it. idk, anyway, as i was saying valjean got there” and u know he’s gonna do t again on some other topic in like 6 pages time

[tarragonthedragon]

"I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many."

this is imo the softest line in dracula? it's not just jonathan's conviction that he'll follow mina to hell its his surety that anyone would do this for one they loved, that even a monster like dracula was once a human being who loved and was loved as jonathan now loves

like yes declaration is peak gothic romance but the idea that people have always felt this way is so gentle

[tarragonthedragon]

like hear me out right we all love literature nerd jason we all know the man loves him some austen which is valid as heck but allow me to project massively for a hot minute

why do we never talk about jason loving dickens thats my main question like if you’ve got a hatred of the upper classes, a taste for the classics, and a vicious streak you like dickens thats just the facts

specifically i would say he like the old curiousity shop best, has an on-off relationship with great expectations, and has never been able to quite stomach oliver twist

also, on books jason definitely has strong feelings about and my source is i was also a homeless kid with a heady fear of addiction and an intoxicating love of literature

fearless by tim lott: yes absolutely jason read this book. he found it in a school library where it was absolutely not in the right section probably but he read it and he wept buckets, it was probably the first book to make him cry. the weirdness of it. the escape. the hopelessness. the fact that finding your parents isnt actually the solution and indeed your parents can be meaningless or causative to your struggles. broke me, definitely broke him for a solid hour. this is the book he doesnt usually talk about because it hits deep but if you ask him for an honest, earnest rec for a heartbreaker he is prepared

plath i can see jason being into honestly (i cant stand the bell jar but thats a me problem).

guilty pleasure i would 100% stake being wodehouse. red hood era jason hides his jeeves books under a collection of dirty magazines in a box under  false bottom in his gun safe but he reads them whenever he needs cheering up.

hugo maybe. possibly he lliked them but finds the stylising a little tedious. as french classics go i’d see him as more of a dumas kinda guy

i’m stopping here but god i have more i have so many more

[tarragonthedragon]

thirty-six days left of it being illegal for sherlock holmes to be nice