#second of all Poland is not stupid

[unhonestlymirror]

I'm not Polish, but I feel kinda oppressed when they draw or write Poland as stupid or straightforwardly malicious

[wienersmosh]

Lunchtime with Smosh podcast LORE

so i've done the liberty of listening to the first episode of the Lunchtime with Smosh podcast and compiling all the "lore" we've learned during this episode. i watched it a total of three times bc i loved it so much and i was bored so i decided to do this.

(i did not include lore that they have already previously talked about in other videos.)

ANTHONY:

has never had a deviled egg

would ask if he could come with ian on his walks

has not used shampoo in 4 years but will use it if his hair gets actually dirty; his dandruff decreased when he stopped using shampoo and his hair used to be really dry

lately has been washing his foot first bc of a new tattoo

washes his pits and bits first in the shower (after conditioning his hair)

wishes chester bennington from linkin park didn't die

thinks ian would stop world war ii soon after it started (the invasion of poland)

likes socializing only if it's one on one where they can have deeper conversations

doesn't like small talk, thinks it's peaceful when no one sits next to him at lunch

was the most angry with ian when they were coming back from their high school grad night. they were on a bus while anthony was sleeping and ian clapped and screamed in his face. anthony yelled "WHAT THE FUCK! STOP!" and was aggressive to ian. he later felt bad about it but was too embarrassed to admit it to ian.

would tell a friend if they had bad breath but not an acquaintance

one of his icks is when he's hanging out with someone and the person is uncomfortable with silence so they try and force small talk with him

likes being alone with someone else's presence; if he can sit in silence with them that's how he knows they can vibe together

starts an internal clock and waits 5 minutes before eating the last piece of food

another ick is when people gossip; his brain shuts down and he goes quiet; feels like gossip is judging other people for no reason (however he will occasionally join in and laugh at what other people are gossiping about)

his top four favorite movies are arrival, home alone, home alone 2, and our universe on netflix, which is not a movie

IAN:

thinks running so much back then made him stupid. he'd be at anthony's house while they were writing smosh sketches and be tired all the time. he'd pace around anthony's room being restless and would say "i didn't run today, i got too much energy"

loves taking walks around his neighborhood and look at flowers; is a power-walker and thinks his gait is "off" when he walks slowly

washes his feet in the shower bc his feet are gross

thinks anthony has a "hot cousin"

wishes anthony bourdain didn't die

farts freely at disneyland and will not blame someone else if they fart bc it's part of life

would cheer anthony up with a long hug; doesn't think complimenting him on his posture or telling him a cum joke would cheer him up

would stop the challenger explosion so that there'd be another one where big bird can be in and there's a chance the second one could explode

makes coffee and talks to six people first thing in the morning (according to anthony)

"i like people"; thinks people hate him if he doesn't talk to them; thinks people don't sit next to him on planes bc he looks like a shooter

people didn't sit next to him at school and people don't sit next to him at lunch at smosh unless he's the one that joins them at the table

worst fear is having bad breath; only acquaintances have had bad breath and wonders if that's the reason they never became friends

is uncomfortable with silence and will talk to avoid it during dates

one of his icks is when he goes out to eat with someone and they don't venmo him for the food; the person has been demoted to acquaintance and that them not venmoing for food has been a pattern; the dishonesty bothers him more than the money

another ick is when people leave the last piece of food on the plate bc they're too polite to be the one to finish it

another ick is when anthony doesn't want to gossip

letterboxd top four is city of god, spaceballs, RRR, and they came together; has rated 988 movies on letterboxd

[corspepointvision]

A New Pelle Interview from Death Power!!! From DeadFromMayhem.ru Dark Hel

Interview with Dead, done by Scottis Kriss-Toff.

LITTLE STORY ?

It’s always the same hard to give a brief history and to shrunk down about 6 years. So, I tell of the line-up of MAYHEM. After that MANIAC (ex-vocalist) and MANHEIM (ex-drums) left (straight after the recording of "DEATHCRUSH"), I joined MAYHEM in the early spring 1988 and HELLHAMMER joined about a month later. We’ve got terribly hassles with rehearsal places, somewhere to live, money, etc etc... But we don’t feel for give up only to continue when the band is the reason of our existence.(We would be dead without MAYHEM, eh ! ! !) We’re still trying to get enough of material together for the L.P. We do only songs that will last for years, not the shit songs that becomes a short-time trends,...I hate trends !

STYLE ?

We’re a Black Metal band!!

INSPIRATION ?

We're trying not to copy other styles, but every band has got inspirations even if they don’t think so by themselves. We’re still VENOM Heads (old VENOM of course) and VENOM created the music. I’ve got personal influences by different singers of course and to mention some: MANTAS/early DEATH, SARCOFAGO, POISON (german of course), PARABELLUM (the first demo) and early SEPULTURA.

PRODUCTION ?

By all these years, it has not been much of discocraphy.There have been "PURE FUCKING ARMAGEDDON" in 1986 limited to 100 copies, DEATHCRUSH in 1987, our second demo, our mini-L.P. DEATHCRUSH in 1987 limited to 1000 copies + some rehearsals tapes given out by MANIAC’s "MANIAC PROD".

ACTUAL LINE-UP ?

-DEAD (but still not buried) (vocals)

-EURONYMOUS (greek name for prince of death) (lead guitar)

-NECROBUTCHER (bass)

-HELLHAMMER (drums)

ACTIVITIES OUT OF THE BAND ?

-DEAD : immigrate to Transylvania, castle mania, cut deeply in myself and others, torture humans and animals.

-EURONYMOUS : dangerous expriments with chemicals, weird science.

-NECROBUTCHER : guru and pot-smooker.

-HELLHAMMER : hellish drunks always and then sings sailor songs.

REASONS OF THE NAME MAYHEM ?

It sound cruel enough we think. But as the most people who’re reading this now, there has been lots of other "MAYHEMS" all over the world, but we were the first ! The name is from 1982 when EURONYMOUS had a band then.

CAN YOU SPEAK ME ABOUT YOUR LYRICS ?

At "PURE FUCKING ARMAGEDDON" the lyrics were pretty VENOM clones. "DEATHCRUSH" had more slaughter, insanity, Eating corpses style over it. As for the new ones, I make them far and I’m possessed of transylvanian legends and its castles, satanic coven meetings, black art and nice animals as vultures, bats and goats. So that, I write of Evil ! I’m inspired by evil in everything I do. When I make a drawing, it’s to express evil, when I talk, when I dream, when I’m thinking... and when I create lyrics.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I TELL YOU THE FOLLOWING WORDS ?

Alcohol : Nothing left. Drug : Against. Cigarette : No smoking. Sexe : Violence and death. Politic : Crap! Religion : Evil, ancient, Satanic! Money : Broke always... A.I.D.S. : Marcin Wawreynzak (of "ETERNAL TORMENT"). Torture : Nice to do. Noise : Children’s bands!!! Dream (hope) : Transylvania, Immortality. Death : Peace. Life : Stupid mortals! Rain : By the night. Wind : In the dark forest. Thunder : At the darkened sky. Evil : Evil weather, castle. NAPALM DEATH : Trend! Earth : No hope. Wizard : Black arts. The end : Crossover, straight edge and Grind. You : The superstitious mortals in Transylvania’s dreams came true...

YOUR TEN FAVORITS BANDS ?

(this is not in order) PARABELLUM (R.I.P.) from Colombia, SARCOFAGO from Brazil, MASACRE from Colombia, DEATHPEED (R.I.P.) from Japan, POISON (R.I.P.) from Germany, DAMNATION (R.I.P.) from Canada, TORMENTOR from Hungary, IMPERATOR from Poland, GROTESQUE from SWEDEN, REENCARNACTION from Colombia.

Do you know MAYHEM, the MAYHEM from U.S.A. ? What do you think about what they do.

I hate them !!! How can a records company releases such crap, even if they are a commercial label !?! We gave out our mini-L.P. "DEATHCRUSH" a half year before they released their excrement compilation ! I suppose you’ve heard the Brazilian MAYHEM (?). They’re now splitted up but that was at least a Death Metal band and I liked their music. There has been also other MAYHEM’s in the history but they don’t exist no longer. I know of two other still existing MAYHEM’s : from Hungary and from Uruguay.

HAVE YOU ALWAYS PLAYED IN DEATH/BLACK/EVIL/ FROM THE DOOM BANDS ?

The two bands I’ve singing in are MORBID and MAYHEM, the both of them are Black Metal.

WHY DID YOU LEAVE MORBID ?

‘Cause the original guitarist of the line-up left the band and the others didn’t know if they wanted to continue like before and to remain a dirty and a Black/Satanic band. There had been too many hassles of the gigs and between the members, so, after my opinion, that band didn’t exist after the first demo "DECEMBER MOON". Later, they recorded a second demo with another line-up, new logo and completly different style than before. Something I think I have to add here is that we’re thinking of having one, just one more MORBID gig of the old style as MORBID was (and also should be) and we also think of the finish song "DEATH EXECUTION" that the "DECEMBER MOON" ends with (on the demo it’s only the la-la version slowly of the refrain and the opening riff). It was a whole song but a not finished such coz we were changing it the time during MORBID’s existence and then, have one or two more songs and then, give it out as a demo… some dark day.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHITE METAL (METAL FOR THE BIBLE, METAL FOR JESUS) ?

First of all, I don’t think it’s Metal. Then, I think as long as it can be called Metal it comes originally from VENOM… Even if there is Grindcore, fun-noise, straight edge-anti-everything or yucky white metal. To me, only Black is true and only death is real !!!

THEY ALWAYS SAY THEY WANTS TO MAKE GIGS WITH BANDS LIKE VENOM OR SLAYER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A GIG WITH STRYPER, VENGEANCE OR HOLY SOLDIERS ? WHY ?

It seems like the white « bands » believe Black Metal is only for fun… We’re a serious black band. We take this mortually serious! The « white » bands don’t deserve to exist.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD PROBLEMS WITH THE CHURCH OR ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS A RELIGION ?

Well, the chritians, new-boru christians, the mormons, hare-krishnas, Jehovas witnesses and more have tried lots of their methods of turn me into it, without success of course. The most of them, especially the christians and fanaticals but do not believe in it cos so many of them have been forced by their parents and their family to « believe » and, after that, they’re going out trying to make others join them… of the more limited believers who chose it by themselves and have got a belief in it, I use to scare them up (and to them it works almost every time) most of the cases. The all I have to do is to talk with them and they’re getting corpse pale in their faces and then realize I’m lost and impossible to turn over. One guy even tried an exorcism on me......

WHAT DO YOUR MOTHER THINK ABOUT MAYHEM ?

She (and also my dad) thinks it’s good for me that I’m in a band, so I don’t start with something stupid instead. It’s hell a work to play in a band, whatever someone might think. Only the letter writing is a full-day job. What she do not like is when I sometimes gets ideas of cutting myself up and when I lived at my parents home, none of them liked when I had parts of animals in my room (from some animals they used to start to rot already at the second day).

CAN YOU SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE SONG « BURIED BY TIME AND DUST »

Not the best lyrics I’ve done.

YOU SEEM TO LIKE BLACK SIDES OF THINGS, WHY ?

It simply is my way of thinking. The only that feels as the possible right to me. I search for the Evil and Black in all matters and I don’t give a dawn of what others are saying of that !

WHAT IS OCCULTISM FOR YOU ?

It sounds too mystical only, to me... I’m into the pure Evil and right on Black ! But with that I don’t mean I’m a great sorcerer. I mean of a though and a style of living.

I just don’t really know why I’ve hated all the fucking christans the whole life of mine and I’d search for the Evil darkness. I totally ignore those who are telling me I sicking my head I better go to hospital. Occult can be just anything that people think sounds strange to them. There is no actual limits of what is the occult… Yes mystic, it can be anything from practice. After my opinion, that word occult doesn’t say anything !

IF i TELL YOU "SATAN",WOULD YOU LIKE 95% OF THE TRASHERS, RUNNING AWAY DO A STRANGE FACE, SHIT ON YOURSELF, SAY "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT SATAN",AND GET ANGRY AFTER HAVING CALLED YOUR MOTHER ? WHY ?

Of course, I won’t run nor put shit on you. Mainstream people of clone bands used to fuck with the very few existing anti trend Black Metal bands when crossover-straight-edge-vegetarians ruled the trends… then grindcore was "in" and people used to refuse listen to anythong else than NAPALM DEATH, and so on... It’s not actually NAPALM DEATH who created this awful fashion actually, it was the children who then had to try playing fast. How I hated all the demos with hundred of second-sings and lyrics talking of how many animals that get killed coz of hamburgers and do not vegetables either coz they’re also living. AAAAARRGH !!! As what happens sooner or later with all trends they’re vanishing completly and everybody forget about it really fast. Even Death Metal became trend. At least, it’s on its way. So, what did happen to all the "important" lyrics bands that blamed all the others for not been "in". Did they went designing new fashions that everyone had to follow ? Hell no ! AAAAAAARRRHHHHGGHH-death, the mother fuckers jumped on Death Metal !!! How dared they make Death Metal to something normal that wimps are starting to play to await something new to appear… Next trend ! I will guess the most of the true BM heads (who’ve been into it since Venom) can understand what I mean here. It feels like something is really wrong when serious bands that wanna create something own musically are in ‘zines that also feature noise bands that have been existing for a week but already have released 3 demo’s or something like that and are playing in 25 differents "bands" only for fun. Bands that are sending picture of theselves who are supposed to be funny, strange glasses, toilet paper and a shirt on the head and so much other childish and above it all boring bullshit, I think those have misunderstood humour completely! I refuse to laugh of this! I cannot understand why everything has to be so fucking funny and how people can laugh at this, and if someone might laugh of this interview, I can tell him that he has misunderstood the whole point of this and the rest of this interview, read it again more carefully and he won’t find this funny at all! It’s not funny and I refuse to say something funny or laugh, everybody would misunderstand everything only. There’s so much that stupid people only seek for a good time, so they can laugh don’t understand by the music so I should even refuse listen to music... But that would be too hard to do and it needs more self control for that. The most of the new demo’s sound all the same, the originally is gone it seems. I can’t see why so many self-condemned bands have to exist. One weird thing is that when a band almost is formed they have to record a demo and straight after that, they "have to" give out something on vinyl... and then only after a few weeks they can’t understand how they could record this when they’re sounding much better now if they haven’t already forgot it.

DO YOU LIKE BLACK SABBATH (OLD ONES, WITH DIO AND OZZY) ?

Only with Ozzy! By dio I can listen to « Holy Driver » but nothing else.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A HEAVY METAL KIDS ?

Hey, I’m lucky I’m not a NAPALM DEATH/CARCASS kid. Well, then the most Evil, "Occult", dirty and the worst are BLACK SABBATH, KISS,IRON MAIDEN, AC/DC and MOTORHEAD, they were my faves. When I heard VENOM and MERCYFUL FATE, it felt like I lost an important part of my brain and I worshipped them.

WHY ARE YOU ANTI-MOSH ?

Cos I hate that word !!! I wanna hear an explanation of what the moshers actually do when they’re moshing...

LAST WORD...

"Antiquus Malum Cruentus Scriptum De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas" : It’s a book I recommend.

CREDITS:

Link To The Page: https://www.facebook.com/PerYngveOhlinTributePage

Per Yngve Ohlin Tribute Page from Facebook

Link To The Post:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02AzqVjvVATRPMWu7mnJ6cLiGPtTGYm2Q6sKaVWMHW3pVcK2LmYc2TiyH5kxKWmgipl&id=100044624010389

[buzzyb33]

Prompt: while planning the new sidemen video, Ethan makes sure you get the best time by taking you to Poland, may be the cheap team but make sure you got the greatest time.

Warnings: spoilers for sideman Sunday on 29/10/23, mentions of hair colour and length,

Got you into all of the great bookings.

Really giddy from airports both in GREAT moods as you hop around the airport

Taking photos of you in your sideman hoodie, hair down, glasses identical to his, your AirPod Max’s while sipping on Starbucks, going straight to his insta story

Sleeping on his chest in first class 🤭

Booked loads stupid activities for you as it’s your first time in Poland!!

Filling your insta story with site seeings and pictures of josh (being a dad), JJ frowning and Tobi enjoying himself.

Let you sleep with some jet lag while he surprised the other 3 members, left you with a sweet text.

In the morning had you by his side, not on camera just next to the camera men as JJ excitedly spent his (and some of Tobi’s) money on a horse ride.

“Why are you tea bagging a pigeon?..” I say mostly to myself and josh turns to me shaking his head, Ethan doesn’t seem to hear me as JJ approaches, I stay at Ethan’s side as Tobi shakes his head.

“He lead them too us..” I smile and pull my hood down, in a matter of minutes- the boys are surrounded by people and I step away, sure I make content but no where near as big as my boyfriend as I made more gaming videos.

I wait and I see a teenage girl looking at me with a hesitant look, I smile and she approaches me.

She gulps. “Y/-N, right- yeah- I know you can- I have a photo?” She asks and pulls out her lilac iPhone 11 I nod and take a photo with her.

I smile, feeling proud of myself.

Most of the time I stood next to Steve (the bodyguard) holding onto Ethan’s glasses.

“We’re going to a bunny café? That’s fucking sick- though I did think Poland was more famous for their ducks and boars.” I say as I sit next to JJ as Ethan leans over and puts the bunny ears on his head.

grinning a lot and enjoy the free trip

Ethan holding your hand as you two trail behind

Enjoying the food and drinks

When you two get back to the room just falling asleep holding each other the second you get into your room.

Ethan and JJ getting calls from the other boys and all 8 if you talking on the phone in a random restaurant.

Though, if you didn’t eat with the boys Ethan definitely payed for your whole day out consisting of feeding ducks, spas, hair done, polish massages, and making sure you enjoy yourself.

Ahem, thanked him

Calling him halfway through the day thanking him and giggling about feeding the ducks.

“I’ll see you later- I have to Uhm, what’s it called? Oh yeah I’m going to this restaurant where they have.. cucumber soup? I dunno, love you though, have fun.” I grin into the phone.

“Alright- love you too have fun, see you later, love.” He clears his throat as he hangs up, trying to contain his smirk utterly from his girlfriends excitement.

“You just use these videos for Y/ns benefit- and you for Freya.” Tobi says as they roam the wax shop, looking at all the poorly made celebrities.

“Mhm..” Ethan dismisses.

Ethan leaves the boys to get on their Ryan air as he comes back to hotel room, you packed for him as you headed to the airport, you thanked him and hugged him- swaying side to side.

When you got on the plane he proceeded to take photos of you sleeping on his chest, nuzzling into him.

The fans got FED. Absolutely FED.

A/n: 😵‍💫😵‍💫 Love little head cannons, nope you do too, REQUEST anything on my character list, I will get to it ASAP.

[nrilliree]

Contrary to what fervent TG supporters believe, the “rule of male primogeniture is sacred in quasi-medieval Westeros” argument actually isn’t as strong as they may think. Of course I’m not trying to say in the actual Middle Ages, women had the same rights (including the right of inheritance) and social status as their brothers but against all appearances, the very idea of female heir, ascending the throne after her father’s death, isn’t totally unknown to Medieval Europe.

Louis I of Hungary, for instance, had no sons and thusly his eldest daughter Mary was crowned KING (and not queen) of Hungary, and his younger daughter, Hedvig - KING (yet again, not queen) of Poland. Of course both coronations caused political turmoil in the abovementioned countries, both female kings’ position had to be strengthened by entering political marriages etc., but, once again, the  “tHiNgS uSeD tO bE dIfFeReNt In tHe MiDdLe AgEs” debating point sounds pretty unconvincing

I come from Poland and I have already mentioned the figure of King Jadwiga several times in the discussion with TG, mainly during the accusations "Rhaenyra was supposed to be a queen, but she did not give rights to women!", to show that in our country the first queen (or rather a female king) ) we had in the 14th century, and women received full voting rights only in the second decade of the 20th century. So accusing Rhaenyra of not "supporting women" because she did not equalize the rights of women and men during the first month of rule (and during the civil war) is stupid and ridiculous. They will just make up whatever comes to their mind to support their claims. Therefore, the issue of inheritance should be "according to the Middle Ages", because it works to their advantage, but the age of marriage should be perceived according to the 21st century, because - again - it works to their advantage.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

i have this excerpt from Notes from the Warsaw Ghetto: The Journal of Emmanuel Ringelblum printed and framed

Like, I paid an etsy seller to print it for me on the nicest cardstock with the best ink, and then I waited in line and paid a stupid amount of money to have it framed at the Michael's custom framing counter. And I have zero regrets. I've probably posted this excerpt here before but I don't care. It is everything.

The heroic girls, Chajke and Frumke—they are a theme that calls for the pen of a great writer. Boldly they travel back and forth through the cities and towns of Poland. They carry “Aryan” papers identifying them as Poles or Ukrain­ians. One of them even wears a cross, which she never parts with except when in the Ghetto. They are in mortal danger every day. They rely entirely on their “Aryan” faces and on the peasant kerchiefs that cover their heads. Without a mur­mur, without a second’s hesitation, they accept and carry out the most dangerous missions. Is someone needed to travel to Vilna, Bialystok, Lemberg, Kowel, Lublin, Czestochowa, or Radom to smuggle in contraband such as illegal publica­tions, goods, money? The girls volunteer as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Are there comrades who have to be rescued from Vilna, Lublin, or some other city?— They undertake the mission. Nothing stands in their way, nothing deters them. Is it necessary to become friendly with engineers of German trains, so as to be able to travel beyond the frontiers of the Government General of Poland, where people can move about with special papers? They are the ones to do it, simply, without fuss, as though it was their pro­fession. They have traveled from city to city, to places no delegate or Jewish institution had ever reached, such as Wolhynia, Lithuania. They were the first to bring back the tidings about the tragedy of Vilna. They were the first to offer words of encouragement and moral support to the sur­viving remnant of that city. How many times have they looked death in the eyes? How many times have they been arrested and searched? Fortune has smiled on them. They are, in the classic idiom, “emissaries of the community to whom no harm can come.” With what simplicity and modesty have they reported what they accomplished on their journeys, on the trains bearing Polish Christians who have been pressed to work in Germany! The story of the Jewish woman will be a glorious page in the history of Jewry during the present war. And the Chajkes and Frumkes will be the leading figures in this story. For these girls are indefatigable. Just back from Czestochowa, where they imported contraband, in a few hours they’ll be on the move again. And they’re off without a moment’s hesitation, without a minute of rest.

He only namechecks Chaike Grossman and Frumka Plotnicka here, but I can tell you for a fact that he's also referring to Tossia Atlman, Tema Schneiderman, and Lonka Kozybrodska. At least.

So far the count of Jewish women (that I'm aware of) who have responded to "They are a theme that calls for the pen of a great writer" with a book (or long-planned book) are three: me, Dr. Lenore Weitzman (who won't return any of my emails) and Judith Batalion (who did return my emails, had lunch with me, and told me that Dr. Weitzman wouldn't respond to her emails either). I hope more Jewish women--in and out of the academe--continue to take up this call, and I hope they keep getting published and aren't rejected because it's "too similar" to mine and Batalion's. No like seriously like two months after I signed with my agent, and one month after I got my book deal, I received a rejection from a lit agent saying that my book was "too similar" to Batalion's. Ok first of all it's not. I read Batalion's the day it came out, and they're very different books with very different focuses, goals, and approaches; the only thing they have in common is that they're both about this underserved, underappreciated group of amazing women. There SHOULD be multiple books about each and every one of them. There SHOULD be multiple books about one day Tossia spent in Vilna. Every white man who looked sideways at WW2 and the American Civil War have like, 87 terrible books dedicated to them, and I DEMAND at least 3 for each of these women. And 17 for Queen Zivia. (Who does have a biography, written by Bella Gutterman). Plus a biopic. So this post went in a direction.

tl;dr:

[name-s-are-not-important]

Since you got so many postive reactions, I'll also add something Your story is boring. Its too long, its too complicated, the plot is too long, nothing happens, it's not RA at all any more, it has nothing to do with canon! Halt is a joke, there is nothing left of him. This is annoying, the whole story is annoying! Secondly, you dramatize the story too much. Why is Halt's mother a child when she gave birth to him? Don't you have enough angst from the plot, then you have to add such elements and make the king a pedo? A bit pathetic, if you ask me. Why is she so young? Why would Caitlyn be married so young? Nobody did that in the canon! Second, why, for God's sake, is everyone there gay? In the Middle Ages? What's that supposed to be? Third, you don't respect your own readers. You post new chapters without any rhythm, once every week, once every month, instead of sticking to any routine. People don't want to read something so inconsistent, it's stupid, it's annoying. Oh and all those references to Catholicism in the plot in and your made up religion. Is it really necessary?

It's a shame, because this could have been a really cool story… you still have a lot to learn, good luck!

Hello, I would say thanks for contacting, but then it would probably sound ironic. Well.

I understand that the pace of the story may not suit everyone, especially people who prefer short stories. However, I made it clear from the outset that the story would be long and complex. It's a whole AU and yes, I love worldbuilding and I won't apologise for that. I care about the details, but I also care about a balanced sinusoid of action. This isn't an action movie where you'll eat popcorn and laugh at the jokes, it's a marathon geared towards experiencing the story a little deeper. If it annoys you, I'm not sure why you don't just give up reading it…. you refer to the facts revealed in recent chapters, so you've at least made it to chapter 41, even though the story annoys you so much. Why? And why should it be my fault?

Let the numbers speak for me. Jadwiga Andegaweńska, King of Poland, married Władysław Jagiełło, Grand Duke of Lithuania, at the age of 12. He was 35 years old at the time. He took his last wife at the age of 70. She was named Zofia Holszańska, she was 17. Henry VIII of England took Catherine Howard as his wife when she was 17. He was 49. The youngest queen consort was Isabella of Valois, second wife of Richard II, aged 6 years 11 months and 25 days when she was married to him in 1396. The average age at which women were given in marriage in the Middle Ages was 12-14 years. It was only at the end of this era that this age changed to the late teens (16-19). The Renaissance brought a shift in this average to the early 20s. Yes, I am aware that we do not have such situations in the canon. Probably because the canon is a conglomeration of several different visions of the Middle Ages, which the author did not see fit to separate. Armaments, schooling, lack of illiteracy, developed medicine and finally, social realities all disagree. I am sorry to have to tell you this, but no princess married a plebeian knight because he was nice and she loved him. No princess ran around in the woods with a slingshot and none of them was likely to be allowed to become a super secret special task soldier because her parents couldn't cope with her upbringing. Canon has nothing to do with historical reality. In many ways it also misses the mark with my story. It's a fanfic. It's just a story, invented by me and loosely based on canon. It's AU - Alternative Universe. Where there's magic, religious wars and various things like that. But some of the stuff in there comes as a result of my fascination with history and the development of societies in different eras. Hence, certain phenomena, such as just the treatment of women, the age at which they were given in marriage, illiteracy, pestilence, economic dualism and sending children to war, appear in the storyline. Eileen is a monument to women, girls who were given in marriage to bear children to kings, to endure their outbursts of anger, beatings, rape and other forms of violence. Her story is very important to me and no, it is not there just to add drama. I'm sorry you see it that way.

Because we are human, we have always existed and we will always exist. Because it is a story written by a queer person and because as an author I can do so. I also pointed this out in the tags. Too many queer people reading books couldn't find themselves in the plot. I only write queer stories. And if in a story about blood magic, prophecies, human sacrifice, violence, wars and betrayals, you have the biggest problem to a few queer people in the plot, it's no longer my fault.

Listen, I'm really trying not to be mean. Let me say this as gently as I can. I'm not your friend. I'm a random stranger on the internet that you know nothing about. I'm not your school mate for you to talk to me like that. I'm an adult, I work full time, I'm writing my Master's thesis and I'm taking care of two children. I'm sorry that my few hours a week that I can spend doing something for myself, are not enough for me to write a 16-19k chapter once a week. How annoying and mean of me. Wow.

I wasn't inspired by Catholicism. But it's interesting that of all the world religions, this is the one that came to your mind. If you associate a fictional religion based on blood sacrificing, heroising self-harm and sacrificing children, cruelty to captives and hateful contempt for women with Catholicism, then who am I to argue.

It's been so much fun writing to you. And you don't offend me by saying I have a lot to learn. We all have. If one stops learning, one dies. And I still have a whole lot of queer, boring, annoying stories to write. Have a lovely day! And may your toilet seat be cold af at the middle of the night :)

[jewishbarbies]

One of the dumbest aspects to these student protestors is how they scream on camera "Globalize the Intifada!" "October 7th will happen again and again to you!" "Go back to Poland!" and have other violent shit on posters and then claim they weren't calling for violence and ethnic cleansing. They genuinely believe people are stupid enough to accept this bullshit

they will straight up tell you to your face “i want you to die” and when you say “hey actually that’s calling for the death of someone” all of a sudden it’s these blubbering excuses. like, if you’re gonna advocate for the murdering of millions of jews, go all in. say it with your fucking chest and stop caving the second someone calls you out. you know damn well what you’re doing and so does everyone else. you’re not fooling anyone, least of all yourself. “we’ll start a revolution!!!!!!……..as soon as we learn how to stand on principle when facing the consequences of our actions.”

(no, I don’t WANT them to call for the death of anyone, but if they’re gonna say they want me dead the least they can do is stick with the story when the cops show up instead of ditching the tough guy act the second it gets hard. grow a fucking spine, you cowardly bastard.)

[ikarus-angel]

Okay, so we know pretty much things about Reich and Union(even there...intimate things), even about Germany and Poland we know a little bit more, so, what about others? Maybe States or Russia or China or anyone?

Personally, I, your dearest anonymous, really would like to hear you hgs about Russia, if u do not mind

Ah.. Also Good Question.

To nobody's surprise, I also do not care about these people in modern times whatsover 😔

As mentioned, my interests lie in. Primarily the second World War. The Third Reich. My mainstory is about him, and the destruction he brings over himself and everybody around him.

I CAN tell you about past Russia and USA, around the time of 1918-1945, I know crazy 🥰

Important to know:

My Weimarer Republik and Third Reich are the same person⁉️📢

RUSSIA.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆ ˚❆

Russia and the Weimar Republic had a very friendly relationship, helping each other through post war times - abstaining from demanding reparation from each other, trading, etc: The Treaty of Rapallo being a very important - and perhaps the first step to the later collaboration with the Soviet Union.

They were very good friends, but very platonic friends. Nobody has romance in mind when everything is in crisis mode. Of course they would later fall into being enemies - I am not sure how to do this because in Germany it was always about the Russians, not the Soviets, even tho the Soviet Union always has the important role and not Russia.. and.. it's confusing. Russia is probably very similiar to the Soviet Union - also I do not deem him to be the father of the Soviet States I'm so sorry it just doesn't make sense 😔💔

USA 🦅🇺🇲🔥💣

Reich always calls him USA because "He doesn't deserve being called America when he isn't AMERICA." Strong point, good point, I have adapted💔 But yes - Similiar to Russia, and many other countries, America and the Weimarer Republic were good friends. USA was always slightly fond of the man, because The Weimar Republic used to be rather stiff, nervous, young and generally looked like he was on the brink of a panic attack every five minutes. He pitied him in a way - but respected all the work he did.

But oh no. The tables turned. Hard. The Third Reich was established and the man before him was..changed. A lot. And not in a good way, you could tell in a heartbeat.

Reich loves messing with USA - He enjoys making him uncomfortable, giving him backhanded compliments, flattering his ego in a very much unappreciated way.

USA is not proud of the Situation in the States. Racial segregration is still up and running, the american dream™ is a lie and the stockmarket crash tore through the whole world.

He doesn't care. Not enough to change anything. But he also doesn't like when people point it out negatively! His image is very important to him!

"You know what I've always admired about you? The American Dream is a lie, your laws are outdated and the people are just waiting for the next reason to riot - But they still love you! And believe in your "Dream"! In your "Vision"! And you don't even have to lift a finger, I am truly impressed!"

~ Reich (insincerely)

USA hates when he does that. But he doesn't want to be rude so he has to accept it 👍

But yeah, here are some neat funfacts!

• He needs people to love him so that he doesn't need to acknowledge his flaws!

• He often uses alcohol to sleep!

• He is a MASSIVE HYPOCRIT!

• He is deeply insecure despite thinking he is the greatest! Yess we exist!

• He thrives on flattery and compliments! (Except from Reich he makes him deeply uncomfortable don't touch me help)

• He's pretty pathetic!

• I once wrote a smut oneshot about him and Reich in which Reich talked him into an emotional breakdown and then comforted him, manipulating USA into thinking he needed him to feel better! (whoops how did that happen)

• Reich thinks he's annoying, loud, obnoxious and stupid! He is mostly right!

USA is somewhat important to the main story, unfortunately, and does not want to be in a room with Reich alone eber again, the man is giving him the creeps.

CHINA 🇨🇳

I apologize, haven't thought about it once in my life 😔😔😔

I'm SO sorry that everything I write is about Reich. My friend said I should.. expand my Horizon! Branch out!

But I just. Do not care. I am so sorry. The curse. The curse is upon me. And the curse demands Reich and Italy. I am sorry. So sorry. THE CURSE- TH-

[terrora-sanchous]

I don't want my blog to be empty while I'm busy with real work, and I remembered that I haven't published two concepts of my work "Camp of Goodness" yet. The first one is Avi (so far I have decided to use this name, perhaps in the future I will change it) he is a priest from Poland, went a little crazy, from what and why no one knows, he fled Poland during the occupation by German troops and became a hermit who constantly wanders around the world. He believes that the Nazis are not just evil, but a whole demonic race that came straight from hell. The second character's name is Irma, she works in a death camp, mainly doing the dirty work of disposing of corpses, punishing prisoners and much more. All my characters are moral freaks, and I hate them, especially Irma, but she has some charm, mostly she was created for entertainment, just a stupid, embittered single woman with brainwashed propaganda. I need to create four more characters.

❗in the first post with concepts, I wrote that the plot would unfold in Auschwitz, but then I realized that it might look like disrespect and mockery of real events and victims, so this story will be about a death camp, but which did not exist in real life!!!❗

[someonewhogotanaccount]

It's intro post time!

Hi! I'm KitCat!

~The end~

Okay okay maybe you need a little bit more.

As I already said, I'm KitCat, master procatsinator and moving catastrophe, nice to meet you. (Though, everybody calls me KitKat, Kit or Chocosy, which is perfectly fine as well as any other name you want to give me ;)

I'm a minor, so all the creeps please leave now. My motto in life is "live and let live", so if you're here to hurt somebody, please leave too. Thank you :).

The typical things (that I actually forgot when I first posted this): I'm a straight white European Christian girl (teenager) and therefore probably the person with the most boring background, according to Tumblr ;).

I have two "adopted daughters": 1. My Killercat and tuna-demanding master Pauline 2. ";)", the bracket face (she can adapt any form of bracket face if she wants to, but the winking one is her favourite)

Some random facts about me: - my favourite colour is something between purple and dark blue - I have no clue how to write the word color/colour - I'm a German and from Germany (obviously) - I have no clue about the 'typical German culture', since my family was in Poland, Ukraine, Kazakhstan and Russia for around three hundred years and only came back to Germany 30 years ago or so - I love brackets and bracket faces - I have no clue about aesthetics - I consider myself a writer - I have no clue how to continue my stories - I love cats (who would have guessed that) - I have no clue how to make an intro post - I have a stupid sense humour - I have no clue in general but I'm trying :)

You can consider me as: Your silly Tumblr neighborhood KitCat and founder of the hug-ducks ;).

Do I take Tumblr serious? No. I'm that one friend that will be hyperactive the one day and then just dissappear for the next three weeks without a word. But if you ever need me, my inbox is always open. Vent as much as you want to, I'll try to comfort you.

Random stuff: I often misunderstand stuff, so if I'm acting weird, there is a 1/3 chance that I misunderstood you, a 1/3 chance I wanted to make a silly joke and you misunderstood me, and a 1/3 chance that I'm just weird ;). I'm a "Very vibey" (@mushroomcarrotstick) person, btw. @hijabi-desi-bookworm told me once I was "literally one of the best and ~vibest~ people" she knows. Do with that whatever you want, but my name is KitCat Chaos Vibey Clueless Badass Silly for a reason. Oh and if ANYBODY tells you that I'm cute, they are liars. All lies. I'm a pure badass and never ever search after the leta vs. kitkat war. It's better to let the past behind us and move on.

Sooooo, what else can I write here? Hmmm.... AH! MY MOOTS! I FORGOT MY MOOTS!!!

How do I do this now... you know what? I'll just make a list of the moots and then put the link here.

What else? Fandoms, maybe? (current obsession right on the top) - Worm (Parahumans) - Renegades - Claim the Stars (still waiting for the second book) - pjo, hoo, toa - The Inheritance Games (currently reading the second book) - tpq - kotlc - Warrior Cats (don't make fun of me. These books are my childhood and I will read them until I die) - Shadow League (never read the fourth book as it wasn't translated)

Also I enjoy listening music by Imagine Dragons :).

Yeah well, that's it, I suppose. I have an ao3 account as well, but that's only Renegades fanfiction so far. If you want the link just ask or smth.

Since everybody does this, I'll drop an "aesthetic picture" that should give the same vibes as my blog:

(source for the chaotic arson cat ;)

[black-arcana]

WITHIN TEMPTATION's SHARON DEN ADEL Doesn't Understand Far-Right Surge In Her Home Country Of The Netherlands

In a new interview with Metal Musikast, Sharon Den Adel of Dutch metallers WITHIN TEMPTATION once again was asked about why she and her bandmates feel the need to voice their political views in some of their recently released songs, including "Wireless" and the title track of their new album "Bleed Out", which have highlighted such current topics as the war in Ukraine and the suspicious death of Mahsa Amini, an Iranian woman "detained" for not wearing a hijab. She said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "Well, I think it's very difficult to separate your music from who you are as a person, of course. And seeing this happening in Europe, an invasion by Russia into Ukraine, and Kyiv is only two hours flight from [my home], and so it feels really in my backyard that this war is happening. And seeing the propaganda from Russia, setting up the European countries towards each other instead of that we are… We are trying to stick together, but the propaganda does get to certain countries, like Slovenia and Hungary and some others. And also in our own country [the Netherlands], this year we voted, apparently as a country, for far right, which I don't understand. And that party also, yeah, has a lot of same ideas as some other countries, which are pro-Russia. Not to say that our country is pro-Russia at all, but I think that was a vote against, that people weren't satisfied with the government that we have and thought it could be like a protest vote. But, to me, that's pretty stupid. In many countries now, people start to vote for far-right parties because they're fed up with the government, how it was, because, well, things didn't go perfect, of course, but on the other hand, to start voting for far right is another thing. But we are, as a country, very supportive of Ukraine, but it's more like the propaganda does reach certain people also in our country. And that worries me, because I think we should stand shoulder to shoulder to help Ukraine."

Den Adel also talked about WITHIN TEMPTATION's music video for the band's newest single, "A Fool's Parade", featuring Ukrainian producer and vocalist Alex Yarmak. Recorded amidst the streets of Kyiv with renowned Ukrainian video director Indy Hait, the clip captures Sharon at important Ukrainian landmarks. Asked what it was like to make a music video in the capital city of a country at war, Den Adel said: "Well, I was never scared to go there, because I was in good hands, to my opinion. We were helped to do this video and to organize everything, what we wanted to do in Kyiv, by the organization called Music Saves Ukraine. And they told us about the app that you had need to have. For instance, if you go into Kiev, which we did by night train from Poland, because there's no commercial flights from Amsterdam to Kyiv anymore. So we had to go by night train from Poland to Kyiv. And they told us to download an air-alerts app because everyone in Ukraine has that, and you can select a region that you are in and any incoming dangerous drones or airplanes, like MiGs, who are carrying a supersonic bomb or anything, they will put that in the app and you know what the danger is and how much time you have to go to a shelter. And there's shelters everywhere, even in the hotel that I was. And we once had to go underneath the metro station, because there was a MiG on their way. And sometimes it has a bomb, sometimes it doesn't. It's sometimes just looking and scouting where they can do something with the next airplane. And this time it wasn't wearing any supersonic bomb, which was good for us because it can wipe out a complete area in a matter of seconds."

She continued: "It's strange to be there, because normal life continues in Kyiv for 90 percent, to my opinion, when I was there, because when I left the bombing was actually intensified by Russia on Kyiv. But they have a good air defense system, which most rockets and bombs don't hit Kyiv itself, but the debris, of course, does, and the pieces of that, of the thing that they are trying to attack them with, it's coming still down on buildings and buildings do get hits and also bystanders. But if you know in time that they're coming, then you can go to a shelter. Most of the time it goes okay. So I wasn't scared because I knew this knowledge upfront. And, yeah, it is when the air alert goes off and when you see military people walking in streets, it's a different picture than the rest of Europe, of course."

Last November, the far-right Freedom Party (PVV) won the largest number of seats in the Dutch national elections. Many people believe the shift was triggered by economic and cultural anxieties that have whipped up fears about immigrants.

According to a press release from WITHIN TEMPTATION's publicist, "A Fool's Parade" "showcases the band's commitment to raising awareness of Ukraine's ongoing battle against Russia's invasion. The song itself serves as a condemnation of Russia's deceitful actions and sheds light on the harsh realities faced by Ukraine. WITHIN TEMPTATION remains steadfast in their support for Ukraine, with involvement in initiatives such as the Ukraine Aid OPS foundation, advocating for more much-needed solidarity." All royalties from the new single will be donated to Music Saves UA for the duration of the Russia-Ukraine war.

In March 2022, WITHIN TEMPTATION was one of the artists who took part in a telethon concert in support of Ukraine. "Save Ukraine - #StopWar" united more than 20 countries and bring together more than 50 participants. The marathon was broadcast from Warsaw on the Polish TV channel TVP. In addition, broadcasters from many countries around the world rebroadcasted the marathon on their local channels.

The "Bleed Out" album was released last October.

[docholligay]

Foreign Films to Expand Into

I saw a post regarding the writer’s strike that suggested Americans maybe make the effort of watching a foreign film, and while I agree, I didn’t think its tone was super helpful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the queen of “Pull yourself out of a rut!!” but I don’t think “Americans are so fucking stupid they don’t realize other countries make movies” is actually trying to help anyone, so much as add to the idea that I guess the rest of the world is being forced to watch Captain America at gunpoint. 

But I DO want Americans to watch foreign films, in the same way that I want them to watch indie films, and I want people of all nations and stripes to expand their understanding of what they’re used to, to push themselves into something else they might like. I think my family would say that it’s fair to call me a person who is open to experience. I love to try things! That’s why I have the book draw, that’s why I go see movies I’m not sure about, that’s why I actively seek out foods I’ve never tried. You deserve to make your life interesting, to be challenged, to provide enrichment in your enclosure. You are worth the effort of a richly textured life! And movies are often a pretty cheap way to go about stepping outside of your comfort zone. I can’t wait to hear what you thought of any of these! 

Obviously, if you are not American, one  of these may not be foreign to you. Yes, I know that. 

I don’t hold out that all of these are hidden gems--some of them are, or were, extremely popular movies. Many of them won awards. But I do hold out that these are some of my favorites, and I would love to share them with you. I did, however, try to avoid anything that I thought already got a lot of play on tumblr: I don’t need to tell anyone here to watch Parasite, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, or any given Ghibili movie (Though you should watch Grave of the Fireflies--it’s my favorite). 

Pan’s Labyrinth (Mexico and Spain): This is my favorite foreign film of all time and I am breaking my, “I’m not putting any movie on here I don’t need to tell you to watch” rule right away because it is in fact one of my favorite movies of all time, American or foreign. It is a lush story about fantasy, facism, courage, and the horror of childhood. Warning: This movie is very very intense. Do not be fooled by the fact that Del Toro also does like fucking…Hellboy. He also can make very serious, very good movies, and he does not shy away from the brutality of the Spanish Civil War. If you liked Labyrinth but you’re fully grown now and I want a story about fantasy bargains for the adult crowd, this is for you. 

The Orphanage (Spain): I love Spanish horror, and so it was really, really difficult to only pick one. But this has been one of my favorites for years, a classic Spanish slow burn that deals with the long shadow of childhood and the line between the supernatural and the natural. If you like pensive horror movies like The VVitch, I really think you should give this one a try. 

Hero (China): I know a lot of y’all are into wuxia now, but back when this came out it wasn’t a thing I had ever heard of*. Hero is, as the title might imply, a sweeping historical epic with fantastic fight scenes and gorgeous cinematography. If you enjoy stories told in multiple interpretations, high-flying wire work, and with some ideas about war, peace, and truth that tempt without asking too much of you, you’ll love this. 

Cold War (Poland): Listen, I love Cuarón, Mexican and Spanish movies absolutely dominate my list of foreign films I’ve watched, but I genuinely thought Cold War deserved the edge over Roma for the Oscar that year. It’s a fairly short movie for the times, coming in at less than 90 minutes, and it wastes not even one second of that film time. Cold War is a bittersweet love story not only with two people toward each other, but feels deeply critical of Poland while recognizing the impossibility of unbraiding yourself from it. If you love impossible, bittersweet, happily never after love stories with stark and striking cinematography, you’ll adore Cold War. 

Tigers Are Not Afraid (Mexico): I adore an unflinching take on childhood, and this movie is absolutely that. It essentially asks, “How do children survive in a world full of trauma?” and the answer is that sometimes, they don’t. This movie is a little frenetic, admittedly, but the ways fantasy and imagination is woven into a group of street children orphaned by the cartels is something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since I first saw it, and I think the final shot is pitch perfect. If you liked Pan’s Labyrinth this is required viewing, as I think it shares a lot of themes. 

The African Doctor (France): “Holligay, if you put another fucking downer movie in this list I am going to BEAT YOUR ASS” Okay, okay, we’re going to ignore my general predilections and everything from here on down is fairly life-affirming or comedic or easy. This is about a little village in France in the 1970s that gets an African doctor. It’s sweet, and funny, and you come away from it feeling good. Also I still laugh every time Seyolo responds to the fact that most of the villagers had never seen a black person with: “So what? Now they will.” If you like sweet fish out of water stories with nice endings, this is for you. 

Om Shanti Om (India): I maintain that this is the best movie to watch if you’re brand new to Bollywood. It mostly avoid the worst of its excesses while delighting in all of its strengths. It is a genuinely fun film with fantastic songs, and a shockingly together storyline for a Bollywood movie (affectionate). I’ve actually done a full review of this one, but in the short version: If you loved Moulin Rouge and wanted more of that mix of tragedy and silliness on a operatic level, I think you’ll be in for a treat. 

The Warrior’s Way (South Korea and New Zealand): Okay, this movie is not good, and also it manages to be bad. But it’s in English, so if you’ve been sitting there like my dad going, ‘I am not gonna read a movie” well, here you go. If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I want to watch a Western, but I wish it were actually a HK style cheesy action movie” BOY HOWDY AM I HERE FOR YOU. I watched this one insanely drunk and still managed to be like, “wow! This is so bad! Maximum valid!” If you thought RRR** was good, but too deep, you will have the BEST time with The Warrior’s Way. 

Anyway, this is, of course, an incomplete list, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten something I love, since this was just made off the cuff. I would love to hear if you watch or like any of these, and also, if, looking at this list, you have a recommendation for me, let me know! There are so so many fucking movies out there, and so many fall through the cracks. 

I’m thinking about doing another one of these on “Indie movies you might have missed” and also “Movies that were made before you enfants were born” (30+ years) so let me know if anything like that is interesting! Or, if there’s a category you think I might know about you’re into, let me know also.

*I actually have a lot of emotional attachment to Hero, as I have a very distinct memory of standing in the Hastings, in front of the small foreign-film section, and it being the first foreign film I picked up. I was, I think, sixteen, and I had decided that I was going to be worldly, and interesting, and cultured, and so I took a deep dive into cooking from other cultures, and watching foreign films, and buying old art history textbooks, reading classics, and listening to opera, and formal manners. Basically becoming the person I wished I were, that poised Grace Kelly type, even if I was born to the drone of the grasshoppers on the wind. To quote Reba Macintire, “You know I mighta been born just plain white trash, but Fancy was my name” and all that. And this movie was a distinct part of that, in that it was the first, in a long line of me trying to be a more well-rounded and interesting person. 

**RRR (India): Actually on that note, watch RRR. It’s a fantastically fun Indian action film that I keep meaning to watch again because I got a little too drunk for drinking on an emopty stomach the first time I saw it, so it might actually also be good, but I do remember enjoying the shit out of it and there is a scene that has such Fareeha vibes to me.

[go-go-gadget-autism]

i’ve been on tumblr to where i can sort of get the generalized humor that hit posts have and i know i’m funny enough to do them however i am also Too Stupid to Think of something.

so here are some quotes from me and my friends.

“what if i disguised myself as a chair?”

“that’s because you’re a classified homosexual.”

“having boobs does NOT make you magical.”

“since you haven’t seen rudolph the red nosed reindeer, i think you deserve to be shot.”

“why are you french”

“i am the sex”

“i will jizz in your oven”

“if you’re gonna get a blood disease, go big or go home”

“i’m not just fast, i’m autism fast”

“everyone needs an emotional support femboy”

“you should become a foot fetish artist”

“give me my aids”

“biblically accurate republican”

“i haven’t pissed in sixteen years”

“i didn’t waterboard the fish i swear!”

“i have the personality of a brick that plays dragon city”

“hentai father”

“the communism demons”

“i’m gonna commit a war crime on these fucking bugs”

“get sucked”

“the king of piss”

“the joke here is that you’re all going to die”

“*in hulk hogan voice* grab on my balls brother”

“*in scottish accent* necrophilia is like fine wine”

“platonic sugar daddy”

“i’m not gonna suck his nose.”

“girthy gunnage”

“how can a gun be autistic”

“don’t get your beans in a bungle”

“i don’t wanna be a bouillon cube!!”

“skinny jeans crush my balls, and not in a good way”

“i was gonna say that made me hard but then i remembered that i don’t have a penis”

“all chickens are racist.”

“people that use the skull emoji are attracted to femboys”

“aren’t fleshy potatoes just irish people??”

“he has rebellious white boy energy, and not in the sexy way”

“i’m just gonna casually eat poland gimme a second”

“you’re at perfect dick punching height”

“i am NOT a spy balloon!!!”

“penis jumpscare”

“stab me daddy”

“all hail the fuckle knuckle”

“that is the gayest fish i have ever seen”

“wait, you guys fuck ovens?”

“guys, am i a twink?”

“a gun is useless against the dreaded taxes.”

“chemically unstable shitting”

“non-hispanic bitch slap”

“you’re a woman sometimes, go make me a sandwich”

“are you accusing me of being sans undertale?”

“not gonna lie, i’d let Ted Bundy kill me. I’d let him eat me. preferably alive.”

“someone’s parent. imma bang em.”

“hitler moment”

“breast buy”

“guys, i did it! i created therapy!”

“i need my HVAC bible”

“the grapes built like himbos?”

“you’d let a tree shoot you if it had enough eyeliner.”

“i am a terrible mexican”

“i am going to make you into a soup”

“fuck it. *unchops your suey*”

“i’m gonna cuck him. musically.”

“you may be an engineer, but i have the pokémon deluxe essential handbook!”

“i’m going to fight the visible light spectrum”

“sounds like your balls just couldn’t handle the neutron style”

“i don’t do vapes i only do bagels”

“if you shit on my couch i swear to fucking god”

“you’re balls?”

“on a happier note, i just purchased England!”

“yeah, that’s old hag energy”

“i am now switzerland”

“i am in a relationship with gay jesus”

“what’s up cucumber”

“unlike you, i’m misogynistic.”

“hoe you are NOT going commando while working at an arby’s”

“ok well if you do throw up try to aim for the holes in your violin”

feel free to add your own quotes! my friends and i say some insane shit sorry

[anathemaloren]

Meeting the god

:) -> What can I say apart from that he was robbed, that he is so stupidely handsome and that you should go right now to listen to his songs. Oh yeah, thanks to Carol for beta reading this, I know you loved it you whore. Also... pt.2?

DISCLAIMERS AND WARNINGS: English is not my fisrt language, mentions of alcohol, it is obvious that characters had sex but nothing explicit. Also, this was written all morning in class and transcribed at 12am so sorry if some things don't make THAT much sense. Word count -> 1.8k Summary -> Y/n helps organize an event in a museum in Warsaw in which she meets a certain polish who connects with her.

Looking back, maybe I shouldn't have been so reluctant to go and talk to the blonde man when I fist met him. Yeah, he looked intimidating, wrapped in leather and with those eyes which seemed to stare straight into your soul. But the moment he looked at someone he recognized, those eyes shined and an unexpectedly beautiful and charming smile made its way into everyone's minds. No one could believe, if he was smiling, that that was the same boy who sang about pretty scandalous things in his songs.

I hadn't really known who he was when I arrived to the event. The gathering in question was an event in a fashion museum in Poland about androgyny in fashion, an event which you had helped organize. Obviously, the organization had chosen the perfect artist to perform in that kind of theme: the local Jann. In the polish airport I had searched for who that boy was, and the conclussions were the same as in my London flat; a good-looking singer with a great amount of talent. But the pictures (and music videos, and edits... I had been a fair amount of time looking him up online) didn't prepare you to how handsome he was in real life.

I had to go and meet him. Not because I had the biggest crush on him, or because I feared that if I didn't approach the dazingly beautiful man I would regret it for as long as I lived, but because I organized the event and had to meet the artist. Yeah, strictly proffessional.

So, after one bravery drink and a lot of my own courage, I made my way to him. He was talking to my boss and the responsible of the exposition in Poland, so I knew it would be easy to talk my way to him. Gathering all the courage I managed to have, I said hi to the older man and woman who were my supervisors, who very kindly introduced him to me. As I shook his hand he showed me that brilliantly precious smile, which made me stop thinking about anything that wasn't him, his smile, his eyes, how he smelled and how soft his touch in my hand was. I told him my name and it sounded better when he said it than I ever would've thought. I spent some time making small talk with my bosses amd the dirty-blonde man, until another organizer told the singer that he had to go prepare. He would sing 3 songs and then he would have to go back to mingle.

While the performance was being prepared, I wandered through the big room, watching all the work I had put into this exhibition turned into a reality, feeling even prouder every time somebody congratulated me.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity to see the singer again, Jan appeared on stage after being presented. The first song he performed, "Look At Me" was more politically correct. But the correctness didn't las a lot, as the second song was "Gladiator". I knew the song was provocative as well as the performance, maybe because I had seen the video from the preselection for Eurovision near to 60 times. But I didn't expect it to be THAT provocative. The way he sang, and dances, and moved around the stage was enough to make my knees a little.

But what I definitely wasn't expecting was to see him lock eyes with me during the part of the song that went I can get you dressed, wrap your body in excess, give them something to obsess over. The polish didn't separate his eyes from mine during what was left of the song. After finishing, and while all the people where clapping, I ran to the bathroom not even waiting for the next song to start.

There, I washed my hands and refreshed my face. Then I looked at the mirror repeating to myself that I would be okay. I heard people clapping once again, which meant that the performance was already over. After being there for another few minutes I felt prepared to leave the restroom once and for all. But again in the room I saw the polish approaching me slowly, which would've given me time to run again, but I chose to stay and face Jan.

The blonde was finally in front of me, and he said a shy hello. I said hello back, and the told him that he had been amazing. He answered with his thick polish accent; 'I had a good reason to perform well tonight'. I jockingly answered; 'A lot of pressure, huh?', but without missing a beat he replied; 'Just a beeautiful girl to impress. I don't know if I did a good job though'. I inmedialty blushed. He kindly smiled at me and spoke again 'I guess I did impress her'. That truly didn't help, and I blushed even more. He just laughed softly seeing me blush at his words. 'May I invite you to a drink?'. How could I even say no to that polish accent, those now soft eyes that were pleading me to agree and the smile that at the same time calmed me so I could say yes without pressure. So I did exactly that; 'I would love that'. His smile made it already worth it.

So there we were. A few drinks later I was feeling a bit dizzy but also happier than ever. We were almost alone as the room had been getting emptier and emptier, but I couldn't care less. Jan was practically perfect. His polish accent had been getting thicker over time and drinks, and his eyes shined even more with a curiosity that had been focused on one thing: me. Us. Our conversation. A conversation in which I had foud out that the man was intelligent, kind, funny, humble, incredibly talented and oh so dreamy. It came to a point in which we were kicked out of the museum, but we didn't stop walking while wandering the streets of Warsaw.

I never wanted that night to end, but luckily neither did he. We came to a halt in front of a brick building I didn't recognize. However, he did. 'Look at that, isn't this my apartment'. I laughed at the jokinlgy surprise of the beautiful blonde man. 'Isn't that a surprise' I replied, cocking my eyebrow. He smiled like a child and spoke again. 'As we're here, would you like to come upstairs and have, I don't know... water or coffe or hot chocolate or-' he started to rumble, and that was when I realized that he was nervous and I decided to step in. So, helped by the courage that the drinks had given me, I grabbed his face and kissed him.

The kiss deepened as he also put his hands in my cheeks, and it came to a hot point when I put my hands in the back of his neck, and he placed one of his hands in my waist and the other one got tangled in my hair. His tongue graced mine and the hotness of the kiss was getting to my head. When he separeted himself from me, probably in search of air, we were both smililng at each other. Jan spoke once again; 'sooooo... you're coming upstairs'. I kissed him again and it was all the confirmation he needed.

When I woke up the next day I was in a foreign room. I didn't recognize the wallpaper, and it was too decorated with posters and candles to be a hotel room. I turned around and came face to face with a blonde man. I almost screamed, when all the memories from the previous night came flooding to me. I softly smiled and brushed a few strains of hair out of his face. He woke up from the touch, and he seemed to remember me much quicker. He smiled at me and brought me into his arm. I melted into the hug, never wanting to get up.

But the bubble had to burst sometime, and that happened when my phone rang. I grunted while getting out of Jan's hold to get my phone, which was in my purse, somewhere on the floor. When I found it I picked up without looking at the caller, just to be greeted by the voice of my boss. After telling me that the previous day had been a success, I kindly told her that, as it was Saturday, I would like to rest. She understood and told me that she would formally congratulate me on Monday. I bid my goodbyes and turned around after hanging up, just to meet with Jan's sweet eyes and big smile. 'What got you smiling like that?' I asked, getting into bed again. He scooped his way over and put his head on my chest. Playing with my fingers , he answered me 'I just had a good view'. I blushed as he laughed and kissed my bare chest. He calmed again and rested his head on my chest again, giving me an opportunity to run my fingers through his blonde curly hair. I sighed and he catched it. 'What is it?'. His morning voice, slurred and with an even more prominent accent, sounded genuinelly concerned. 'I have to leave' I said, saddened '. My plane leaves in 5 hours'. The polish boy squished me, not wanting to let me go. 'Can't you stay?' He asked. 'I'm sorry Jan, but I have to go to work on Monday'. He sighed and slowly let me go. I got up and went to the bathroom of the bedroom to get ready and be able to leave.

Once again I saw myself get prepared in the mirror to face Jan. I got to the bethroom and saw him in the same position I had left in, looking at the ceililng with his lips curled downwards. I got next to him and kissed his cheek. He spoke 'I don't want you to go'. I replied; 'I don't want to go, but I have to'. I left a note with my phone numbre in his bedside table and spoke again 'Call me if you ever come to London'. He seemed to brighten up a little 'Another reason to go to London now I guess' I couldn't help but chuckle.

I sadly made my way out of the apartment, not without bathing him with kisses and promises of seeing one another again first. Already in the airport, we started texting until I had to get on my plane. Feeling how I was leaving Poland and Jan behind felt like I also was leaving a part of me behind. However, once in London, the first message I read was one of his:

My mouth hasn't shut up about you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain, which hasn't stopped thinking about you since, well, before any kiss.

[nighting-crow]

Modded Followers (Plus Crow and Sorayne) as Incorrect Quotes

Nebarra on his first day as a lawyer: Mothers and fuckers of the jury...

*My chemical romance stars playing* Auri: Omg you emo  Aurlyn, pointing to Lucifer: It's his playlist!  Auri, Aurlyn and Lucifer all start singing: Lucien: Hey, where you at? Lydia: My limit. I'm at my FUCKING limit.

Gore: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Lucifer: Kaidan Brought five guys home I'm so excited! Lucifer: Clarification, five guys is a restaurant chain that specializes in gourmet burgers and fries. Lucifer: I'm not having an orgy.

Xelzaz: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Auri: Several traffic violations. Varrick: Three counts of resisting arrest. Val: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Ashe: Also, that’s not our car.

Kaidan, glaring at Caryalind's coffin: We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY. Couldn't stay alive.

Val: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Gabrielle: Fucking Gore and Lucifer were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Ashe: Wait, is Baja Blast a real thing? I thought all of you were talking about masturbating. Khash: The way it tastes, we might as well be.

Xelzaz: What is wrong with you? Gabrielle: Loaded question. Elaborate.

Kaidan: *sees someone doing something stupid* Kaidan: What an idiot. Kaidan: *realizes it's Caryalind* Kaidan: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Gore: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Val: If I may interject... Aurlyn: Oh, awesome, Val was eavesdropping.

Inigo: Drunk driving IS cringe unless you're doing it sexually like a fetish? Remiel: W-what?! Ashe: Yeah, I'll incorporate that into my belief system.

Ashe: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Inigo: I was in the will?

Crow: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Varrick: Everything’s fine, Knight. Gabrielle: Veil, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Val: Don't know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in school will turn them gay. I learned about World War Two, but am yet to invade Poland.

Crow: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

Gabrielle: At this point, I'm holding myself together with glitter glue.

Kaidan: It's ride and die

Gabrielle: You can take away my rights, but can you take away my lefts?

Auri: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.

Lydia: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Gabrielle: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Varrick, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Nebarra: No, they're not "symptoms of depression", they're Blue's Clues.

Sorayne: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Varrick, sniffing: Sometimes coke is so good.

Ashe: If you step on a person's foot, they open up their mouths just like a trash can.

Eris: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Val: I was born for politics. I have great hair. And I love lying.

Varrick: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Gore: Mama. Just killed a man. Gore: Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Gore: MAMAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Auri: What?! Let me hide the body, where is it? Is there anyone around that can hear us? Auri: ...Are those song lyrics? Gore: Those are song lyrics.

Lucien: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

Remiel: You look mentally ill. Gabrielle: I am. Let’s go. Sorayne, texting Taliesin: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater… Taliesin′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later. *Later* Taliesin, texting back: Fuck you.

Sorayne: Wait you have thots? Crow: God I wish

Eris:If I had to describe my life in a movie scene, It's be the part in Elf when he gets hit by the taxi and then thanks them.

Kaidan: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?! Crow: Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!

Inigo: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk. Kaidan: Go the fuck to sleep Inigo.

Auri: The last guy's blood didn't splatter across my face and shirt sexily or aesthetically enough so I have to kill again. Sorry.

Gore: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip? Khash: Yea, I could drink legally! Kaidan: I could hang out with the boys! Sorayne: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

Gore: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. Taliesin, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Crow: *slams books down in front of Gabrielle* Crow: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Gabrielle: You could of said literally anything else. Crow: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble. Gabrielle: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now. Gore, trying to be nice: Sorry I told you the fucking truth you stupid bitch.

Sorayne: honk. Caryalind: WHAT. Sorayne: HONK. Caryalind: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

Sorayne: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed. Gabrielle: But you do know better.

Val: I'm actually the smartest and most beautiful person on this damn playground so you'd better show some fucking respect before I scrape my knees and make it look like you pushed me.

Sorayne: Getting up at 6:00 am made me realize that 6:00 am isn't a place, it's an emotion. Kaidan: 6:00 am isn't a place at all? Sorayne: That's because it's an emotion.

Eris: Lol and lmao and so on and so forth.

Remiel: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Ashe: Theft. Xelzaz: Disturbing the peace. Nebarra: Aggravated assault. Gabrielle: Arson. Auri: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Disnel: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now. Khash: Uh, Varrick and Gabrielle are not getting along. Disnel: They’re not trying to kill each other. Khash: You may have a point.

Taliesin: Forgive me Father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.

Auri: May luck (and this picture of Gore eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Taliesin: If you don't kiss your cat on their tiny soft little fotehead then what the fuck are you even doing? Lydia: Yelling at them for trying to eat plastic.

Remiel: What goes up but never comes down? Lydia: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

Kaidan: What's the gender neutral term for eboy and egirl? Taliesin: Ebay. Auri: Ebook. Nebarra: ECOLI.

*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.* Remiel: *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.* Remiel: *Finds tortilla chips.* Val, to Auri: See, they know what they're here for. They know what they're doing. Be more like them. Make a decision, Auri.

Gabrielle: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

Kaidan: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Taliesin: Crow, I need some advice. Crow: You need advice from ME? Taliesin: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Kaidan: When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic, but when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

Nebarra, posting on social media: I am drunk on my front porch and I think a lizard went into my shirt but whatever man, have fun in there. Nebarra, the next morning: When did I post this?!

Caryalind: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Caryalind: I need my socks.

Varrick: *pitches an idea* Disnel, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Gabrielle, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

*Crow drunkenly wanders around the house and Kaidan is drunkenly giggling* Varrick, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Gabrielle. Gabrielle, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*