#season 1 gets me so hard. sorry i'll never stop talking about it

[incesthemes]

and it makes you as bad as them. || 1.14 x 1.16

[satinsummer]

Chapter 1: Likewise

Summary: The first time you met Sam you knew you had to have her but how would you get her?

Culinary is your major but sports media is your side quest that turned you into a dual degree seeking mf! ;)

Chapter 2: https://www.tumblr.com/satinsummer/761133841884889088/chapter-2-movie-night?source=share

WARNING: Suggestive Language, Drug Use (Smoking Weed) 18+ No men or minors pls and thanks!

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Nobody POV

It all started at Y/BF/N's soccer game, after a long day of running around a hot kitchen with no break, sitting on the cold metal bleachers was the only thing that brought Y/N some sort of solace that fated night.

Sitting all the way at the top wasn't the best choice with the way her legs and feet were aching but it was tradition, especially since this was not only the first game of the season but this was Y/BF/N's first senior game and Y/N wouldn't miss it for the world! As she's scanning the crowd and just taking everything in Y/N noticed the "Core 4" + Anika as Chad so happily calls them making their way through the packed area.

Tara, Mindy, Anika and some mystery lady Y/N has never met stop and start talking to Quinn who just so happened to know few players on the team. Chad just continued to climb the bleachers until he reached Y/N.

"Yoo Y/N" Chad says with a big ass smile on his face, arms stretched out to hug her. "Hey Chad" Y/N says smiling but not moving an inch. "Sorry I realllyyyy don't feel like standing up unless I absolutely HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE but to" She stated now eyeing the mystery lady following behind Tara while they continued their ascend up the bleachers having now finished the conversation with Quinn.

Before Y/N or Chad get to say anything else Tara is barreling past him and pulling Y/N into a hug. "Where have you been all day, under a fucking rock??My girlfriend has not stopped talking about how sad she is because she didn't think you'd make it. I was honestly starting to think she loved you more than me and so I had to show her who she belo-" "OKAY THATS ENOUGH" Slapping a hand over Tara's mouth be she gets too carried away. "Anyway I was afraid of not making it because dinner service was a shit show and- Who's She?"

Y/N had finally stood up and looked behind Tara after pulling back from the embrace to shoot Mindy and Anika a small wave and smile but instead she was met with the most gorgeous set of chocolate colored eyes she'd ever seen. It felt like her the entire world stopped.

She stood there just staring back at her, eyes dark and brooding scanning over your face as Y/N did hers. Her hair was framing her face perfectly, her eyebrows were knit in concentration or maybe it was confusion either way Y/N just wanted to reach out and soothe it over with her thumb but she fought against it.

"Keep staring and I'll make sure I'm the last thing you see" And that's all it takes to knock Y/N out of whatever spell she was under while looking at mystery lady. "SAM! You cant threaten to kill everyone that looks at you, especially not my girlfriends best friend. Y/N she didn't mean that. Right Sam?" Tara said ending her sentence with an elbow to Sam's side. "Yeah, Right" she grumbled rolling her eyes at Tara before sitting down.

A bit after you and mystery lady's SAM's moment, everyone gets settled to watch the game as it begins. "So Sam, is this your first time at a soccer game?" Y/N asks, looking over at sam who was already looking at her. "Yeah" Sam replies never taking her eyes off of Y/N. "Want me to explain it? Help you under a bit better?" Y/N offers. "Nope" and with that Sam turns her back around to the game and doesn't say another word. That is until the game is over and Y/BF/N is running to Y/N as she pushes her way on to the field to greet Y/BF/N.

Y/BF/N played one of her best games EVER tonight, she came away with 2 goals-2 assist and 3 steals. She plays hard so when her and Y/N finally meet in the middle she's throwing her body on Y/N like a kid seeing their mom after the first day of school. She's overjoyed to have won and to know her best friend, her girlfriend and their friends were there to have witnessed it. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Y/B/NN. You were a goddamn storm out there!" Y/N shouts while rocking back and forth still embracing Y/BF/N. As the two girls pull back from each other and start doing their handshake, the rest of the group has made their was down to the field and over to them.

Tara pulls Y/BF/N into a big ass hug that ends in a kiss Sam would've paid money not to see. The rest of the group just standing there awkwardly talking amongst themselves as it continues.

"How's the chef been? You ran off to Jersey for the summer and have been MIA since you came back" Mindy points out and just like that all eyes are back on Y/N. "She didn't run off" Y/BF/N interjects after finally pulling away, jersey was still a sore topic for the two but at least Y/N could count on Y/BF/N not to force conversations about it.

As Y/BF/N headed off to the locker rooms to shower and get changed, with Tara following close behind Y/N seen this an opportunity to answer Mindy's first question. "Anyway, the chef is great, I'm in my final year so it's more stressful now than it has ever been but the world deserves to taste me so I'm dedicated to perfecting that." "Taste...you?" Mindy snickers a sly smirk playing on her lips. "Yeah, taste me and I know your gutter mind ass is taking it there so I won't divulge but I will extend you an offer to stop by the kitchen and learn somethings" Y/N states matter of factly looking straight into Mindy's eyes and suddenly she's the one acting all coy and bashful. "Damn, Y/N. You go MIA and come back trying to be Miss.TakeMyBitch" Anika says feigning betrayal. Laughter erupts between all of them and suddenly Y/BF/N and Tara are making their way back to the group. Looking a little "freshly fucked" might Mindy add but she saves them the embarrassment for now.

As everyone is walking through the parking lot and getting into their respective vehicles. Y/N can't help but let her mind wonder and eyes wander over to the brown eyed goddess she had met earlier. "You're staring again" Sam says "Can't Help it" Y/N replies. This makes Sam stop dead in her tracks as Y/N kept walking trying to keep her facade of being smooth as fuck under control. "Come on Sam, We are riding in Y/N's Car" She hears as is grabbing her arm and leading the way.

"Damn Y/N/N, when can I get a ride in that" Chad Says while looking at her car. She had recently purchased an Inifinti Q50S, it was painted titanium grey with an all black interior to match her rims. "Must be nice to have mommy and daddy get you everything" Sam sneered to no one in particular but Y/N heard it. " I don't have a mommy and daddy to do anything for me. This is NIL money, baby" Y/N retorted. "NIL?" Sam questions.

"Name, Image, Likeness." You, Y/B/N and Chad all say in unison. "Y/N is the best sports media journalist Blackmore has ever seen. She built media platform and gave the athletes here a voice" Chad Explains. Truth be told Y/N was glad nobody double back about the "no mommy daddy" comment because she didn't have the mental or emotional capacity for that tonight. "Alright, can we go now? I just played my ass off, I'm hungry and a little horny" Y/BF/N groans closing the car door as her and Tara climb in the backseat. "Guess that means you're riding shotgun Sammy" You tease. " Call me that again and I-" "Yeah, Yeah, save the threat. We both know Tara won't let you" Effectively cutting Sam off and starting her car.

Sam refused to admit but Y/N was actually pretty decent and before she knew it her mind was clouded with thoughts of Y/N. The way she would easily slip in and out of traffic, never breaking too hard or go too fast for Sam or the other two sucking face in the back to feel unsafe. Sam found herself now being the one to stare at the girl and my god was she glad Y/N was focused on the road. Under the glow of the city lights and the ones slightly illuminating the inside of the car Sam got lost in her side profile, with Y/N hair now pulled back she had a chance to examine the other features she may have missed earlier like the one dimple Y/n on her right cheek, the small scar above her ear that traveled down to the base of her hairline. The way Y/N's nose was the perfect slope from this angle.

"You're Staring" Y/N says glancing over at Sam when she stops at a red light. All Sam can do is open and close her mouth like a fish having just been caught doing the same thing she threatened Y/N for doing previously. The soft hum of the engine and music fill the rest of the car ride as the girls make their way to the " Carpenter Habitat" as Y/BF/N calls it.

As the car pulls up in front of the apartment building, Tara begins begging Sam to let Y/BF/N sleepover and much to her surprise she gives in not before giving a stern "door open or living room" option with no room for rebuttal. Sam then looks to Y/N as if she was going to say the same to her but Y/N is quick to correct. "I won't be staying, Gonna head back to the kitchen and get prepped for the dinner service happening tomorrow. You kids have fun" Y/N states looking at all three of them while leaning on her car and lighting a joint. "Wanna finish this off before you go up?" Y/N says to Y/BF/N who looks over at Tara for the go-ahead. "Fine, but just one and you better shower again" Tara directs at Y/BF/N. After kissing Tara, Y/BF/N walks over to your car and takes the lit joint from you. Tara and Sam begin to walk inside and up to their shared apartment where they both watch Y/N & Y/BF/N smoke and interact like predators hunting prey.

"You sure you don't wanna stay?" Tara yells down to Y/N after the smoke session has ended and Y/BF/N has made it safely inside and upstairs to her girlfriend. "Yeah, I'm sure. You and Y/BF/N deserve some time together after that game she played" Y/N says with a knowing smile. Y/BF/N needed her "Tara Time" after long days or hard games and who is Y/N to stop that.

Before getting in her car, Y/N spares one last glance to the balcony Tara was just on only to see the older carpenter staring back at her. With a small smile and a wave Y/N bids farewell to Sam "It was nice meeting you tonight..Sammy" "Likewise Y/N" Sam replies softly watching as Y/N slips into her car and disappears in the city traffic.

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AN: this is my first time writing something like this so pls bear w meeeeeeeeeee. if you have any suggestions on how the story line should progress, critiques, etc feel free to lmk!

any ideas on what to name the fic? submit themmmmm

[the-words-we-sung]

Thoughts and pictures - S3E1

So after digesting my first watch a little bit, I'm starting my rewatch of this season and I'll share a few thoughts and reactions (and screenshots) because I can't keep it all to myself 😱

I was happy that we dived directly into the (sort of) trial and confrontation between Wilhelm, Simon and August. I do wonder how much time passed between the speech and this scene though. It sets the tone for the entire season for Wilhelm: he's gonna be alone, with no support whatsoever from his parents. He enters the room alone, his parents arrive after him and his mother doesn't even look at him... Simon arrives with his mother and August with his stepdad. But Wilhelm has to deal with the situation alone (aka how to get incredibly mad at Kristina barely 5min into the season 😤)

Simon looks so pretty and so sad. (And how did Omar manage to look even younger this season??) He wants to be done with this whole thing. Also I checked but 1.2 millions kronor is not as much as I thought it would be (it's apparently around 107 000€, which is not bad, but I was expecting more)

I see what you did there Simon 😏 (Can someone gif this scene and put it in parallel with Wilhelm seeing Simon's room for the first time and saying "cozy" in season 1? :p)

The boys coming back to the meeting: very smooth. Nobody knows what you were doing. Nop. Not at all. (We can see Linda kinda smirking when Simon sits back whereas Kristina looks like she just ate a very sour lemon). Wilhelm arranging his hair and Simon smiling at him: they might be in the middle of an important meeting and at the Palace but they're still 2 teenage boys in love (and I love them for that 💜)

Rickard looked and sounded like such an idiot in the previous seasons that I didn't expect him to actually be competent! But I guess we were mostly seeing him through August's eyes... I know Rickard said he was the best lawyer in the country but I have to admit that I thought he was just bragging ^^' Also: August is such an asshole. Did he really need to rile up Wilhelm like that? He's got quite the confidence to attack him and tell him how he just fuck things up on his own, in front of everyone like that, including the queen. Who, again, is not defending her son!! She tells them to shut up but she says nothing to August for talking like that to her son 😠

(They look like they've been called to the principal office). Kristina doesn't look at them immediately, she looks at Erik's picture on her desk first. Then she looks at August. And then finally at Wilhelm. She is so awful to him this season... Right from the start. And then she breaks down crying for Erik.

While Wilhelm holds her. I wasn't expecting to see her grieve so much this season. We didn't see that at all in season 2. Is it because she repressed all of her emotions too much? I hate that she breaks down like that just after Wilhelm publicly coming out. How can she not be there for him. I get that it must be hard to lose a son, but she still has a very alive one, who needs her.

Kristina is not getting redeemed in this season but Linda kinda is! I was super happy to see her get in mama bear's mode at the trial ^^ It was about time!! But here: I'm sorry Linda but it's not your son's role to keep you updated about what's going on in your house! You're the mother! Stop putting everything on this kid's shoulders!! Maybe he never tells you but do you ever ask??

Simon being truly angry at Sara is so good. I am so happy so he's able to feel that way and to not feel like he has to repress it, to forgive her, to help her. She did something truly bad and he's allowed to be mad. Also look at his angry lil' face 💜

In things that made me laugh: Wilhelm's reaction and face to learning that Simon is grounded all semester xD He was talking all smoothly/flirty and then his tone changes so dramatically when he realizes he won't be able to get his boyfriend in his bed very soon! Horny boy is horny (and frustrated :p)

This faaaaaace ☹

I'm happy to see that Simon still has Ayub and Rosh here to support him. I wish they would have told him that replying to comments online was a bad idea though. You know the saying kids: don't feed the trolls!!

Wilhelm looks like such a normal teenager when he gets back to his room. First time we see him so carefree. It breaks my heart to know that on the other side Simon is so unwell already.

Wilhelm waking up happy and smiling. And being just a teenager (for the first time in a very long time): thinking about his boyfriend, redrawing the heart on his hand. It's such teenager things!! My boy just wants to have a normal life... (And then he's immediately reminded that he's actually not just a regular teenager with Farima's text).

Simon's worried face when he asks about Wilhelm's initiation. You can see he's truly horrified at the idea that he might have gone through what's been described in the article.

And then it starts: the piling up of everything on Wilhelm's shoulders. First his mother looking really unwell and breaking down (even though she hasn't been said to be officially ill yet), and now the negative impact of his speech on the school... Which Vincent takes great pleasure in reminding him about.

This first episode is really good at setting things in motion. We see already the beginning of what's gonna go down during this season: Simon not feeling well, dealing with online hatred, struggling with his new place next to Wilhelm in the spotlight. And Wilhelm trying to finally live a carefree life at school with his boyfriend now that he's officially out but slowly getting crushed under the pressure of his role as Crown Prince and the increasingly obvious lack of support from his parents.

[dreamyzhou]

Spell - Kim Sunwoo

Pairing: sunwoo x romantically brave!fem reader

Genre: non idol au! college au! a mixture of angst, fluff, and crack

Words: 2,255

Warnings: kissing, slow pace, sunwoo is scared of love, feat. the boyz and xg as side characters, ALSO this is my first fic after 4 years of hiatus, so it is horrible but go easy on me.

Inspired by: NIKI - Spell

For someone who feared the uncertainty of her future, you were handling it well. Screw it; You were happy and excited. Your high school progress was inconsistent despite the opportunities (a.k.a college options) it gave you.

When the first day of freshman college year started, the place was welcoming you. It felt like a rebirth without dying. A reset button to delete every data of the past, but didn't erase who you were.

Farming strawberries, walking home as you pass the cabbage farm of the Choi family, or getting paid to be Ms. Ji's shepherd were no longer y9ur habits as you moved to the concrete jungle. Thankfully, you were not alone; Ms. Ji's son and the son of the Choi couple were with you in the same college.

It was a new life and it was going well so far.

-

11:36 PM (Wednesday, Winter Season, Week 1)

Your legs pace to your rented flat as you try your best to endure the pain of your frozen ungloved fingers. Just like any other women's trousers, the one you wore had fake pockets serving no purpose.

"I really wanted to walk slowly..." talking to yourself, your words took shape under the forms of winter fog.

You grew fond of this city. Maybe a little too much to the extent, you don't take advantage of public transportation. Walking home made you feel grounded and one with nature, and you had to do it slowly.  There was something so heartwarming about the snow piles on the empty seats of the swings as you passed the mini playground at almost midnight.

However, your hands were on the verge of frostbite. You just needed to walk a kilometer to get to the flat you shared with Chanhee and Changmin, but instead your feet took you to the nearest convenience store from the sidewalk you were walking on. It lit the brightest blue 24-hour sign. As you pushed the transparent door, it nudged the shopkeeper's bell.

"Hello, welcome to Ministop. Let me know if I can help-" you let your eyelids blind you for a second, satisfied with the warmth.

Then, you realized; it might've been awkward for the cashier to see you just standing there, closing your eyes. If you think about it, it looked as if you didn't want to hear a thing he said. Maybe that’s why he never finished his sentence. You opened your eyes in an instant.

"Oh sorry, didn't mean to look like I was ignoring what you said, it's just-"

No. You knew exactly why he stopped finishing his cashier-to-customer mantra.

"Sunwoo?"

"Y/N?" He stood up from his seat.

"What are you doing at midnight? It's snowing hard! No gloves too! Just sit at the snack table, I'll get you hand warmers..." Before you get to form refusals in your head, he went to an alley (one that sold hand warmers, you assumed).

You stood still, watching his head from afar as other alleys blocked you from seeing the rest of his body. He came back to you with words kept. You had to raise your chin slightly to look up at his eyes. He avoided your eyes as he prepared the hand warmers for your use.

"How much do these cost?" He pulled your relaxed elbow to the snack table and you grunted with intentions to annoy him and you laughed.

"It's on me, hon'. Just use it." He pushed your shoulders down to make you sit.

Sunwoo stunned you frozen; it was nothing compared to the ice on your fingers. Something about him since the first time you both met in Music lecture dazzled you. He was always playful with the craft of his words to you. He would always call you 'honey', but you never knew what it meant. You always initiated eye contact, trying to search for answers behind those starry orbs.

Why you? Why 'honey'? Why would he always avoid it?

In your heart, you really wished it were the obvious answers. That the flowers of romance were blooming in his heart. Sometimes you can see when the flowers are overflowing, needing your heart for space to share. Another owner of love to share. He couldn't tend this garden of love on his own anymore.

You saw it. The times when he would laugh at your words thinking what you said was a joke. You knew that he was not listening at all. He just wanted to seem like that. He had to make sure you knew he 'cared'. But you know the difficulty was not that he did not care about what you had to say. It was the kind of care that he wanted to express; it was more than the kind of care a friend shows.

"Thank you..." you smiled at him.

He looked at you as he stood in front you for a few seconds. Just letting his eyes catch every detail of your feature. As if you were a statue sculpted by Michaelangelo. As if you were an art to be studied in a museum. He let his hands dust off the snow on your hair.

You felt loved before. Your parents showed you an unconditional, tough, and raw one. Your friends showed you a fulfilling, lively, and nonjudgmental one.

This? This was different. It was honey-like, warm, and hypnotizing.

"Sunwoo?" You stared at his face, refusing every desire and impulse to just get close to it.

"Yeah?" His voice turned breathy, nervous for your next words.

"Will you come to the party that Eric is hosting soon? Because I will." You know he would go wherever you would.

"Only because you are." He chuckled at you.

-

12:06 PM (Tuesday, Winter Season, Week 2)

Vacation week. Campus empty. No studies. No lectures. Winter season. No students.

What a dream...

"Oh my god! I swear, Y/N, your alarm shook the whole flat. You're making me take back my Atheism conversion if you keep doing this. I might have to worship 'He Who I Said I Believe In For The Sake Of My Christian Parents' just for the Mighty to take you back and make sure to give you good ears- OR BETTER earthquake awareness 'cause how the hell did this not wake you up?"

"Chanhee, you yapping like a mother apparently woke me up much better than my loud alarm. You should be my new alarm!" 

"Yeah, sure... No wonder your mum had to use a wok and a ladle as music instruments for your alarm ringtone performance every morning back home. She should audition to be a K-Pop idol at this point, considering how she has been doing it for 18 years!!"

"Chanhee, what are the three rules we have in this house?" Changmin joined the conversation from the kitchen, about 6 meters away from your bedroom.

"Oh my- One, no 'your mum' jokes in the morning or else we'll fight. Two, no yapping for more than a minute to ensure tranquility. Three, always remember to wake Y/N up with patience as she is younger than us by 2 years." You smiled under the blankets, since Chanhee promised that he would cook dinner for 2 weeks if he didn't follow his own rules.

"And what's four?"

"HA! Rule number four! To mention Sunwoo if you need Y/N urgently. Get your butt out of that bed, it's Eric's party or else I'll use your mum's wok to bang your head." And just like that, your eyes widened and your spine corrected its posture under a second.

"How do you execute rule number four and forget the rest right after you mention them?! You're cooking tonight!"

-

8:24 PM (Tuesday, Winter Season, Week 2)

There were certain types of partygoers on campus. There are the frats, the nightclubbers, and the Music Fanatics. See, the music community on campus was still small. It consisted of eleven boys and eight girls. The community was a fun idea made by Sangyeon and Jacob. One is a producer for the other who is a singer. The community's activities were therapy for you. Creating a playlist with monthly themes, listening to songs without using your ears for the first time and describing them, and so many more. You wished the community was more popular.

Thankfully, these nineteen people really like being around each other. It was the first time the eight girls (including you) found their own "besties" or "girlfriends" as they would call it nowadays. So did the eleven boys. That was why they gather around for what they call "Eric's Party" every month, as he had the biggest flat and his parents were in Los Angeles working at the time.

The "Music Fanatics" were different partygoers. They loved it in Eric's house with a lit fireplace, board games, baking sessions, horror movies, K-Pop Random Play Dance, guessing songs by the first second, and many laughs.

"Okay, but why is the girls' group chat name XG... Like what does it even stand for? eXtra-weird Girls?" Eric and Maya were deep in their endless bantering session.

"Boy, it's extraordinary girls! Kind of creative unlike someone..." she coughed with the words The Boyz between the rough breaths.

"We wanted to take X to name our group chat, but you took it first! Now, we're left with a Z!"

"You're slow, and that's Y."

"Honestly, Cocona, that's a bar."

"KEVIN, ARE YOU NOT ON MY SIDE?"

"Hey, guys! Should we play truth or dare for once?" Asked Changmin as he looked down at the bag of crisps he was eating.

You looked at him with eyes screaming "Call it off! Retreat! What are you doing?!" However, he acted like he was not all aware of the eyes on me. When you frustrated Changmin with a romance that doesn't have progress, and proceeded to come home with complaints, he would roleplay Cupid in a human form.

You recalled the last time he made you play Truth or Dare. He asked you the question with an I-Know-Nothing face. When you answered "truth," you were asked about whether or not you have a romantic attraction towards anyone. When you answered the other one, you were told to stay in the closet for 10 minutes with your (then) crush, as the others proceeded. Thankfully, at the time Sunwoo hadn't joined the Music Fanatics to see that since that Hyunjun guy didn’t reciprocate your feelings.

In order not to act dodgy, you decided to stir your coffee. Looking at the clashes of waves as you made a tea cyclone in a ceramic cup. Trying hard to calm yourself down.

"Y/N. Truth or Dare?" Sangyeon asked you.

Kevin sipped his tea with a noisy slurp, looking at you with dancing eyebrows. Chisa and Jurin widened their eyes and giggled silently, trying their best not to look dodgy in front of Sunwoo. Changmin's lips left agape. Eric laughed with his head down.

Oh....

Fine. To hell with it.

"Dare."

"Oh, I know!" Changmin chimed in.

-

8:56 PM (Tuesday, Winter Season, Week 2)

"I don't know why it has to be me, honestly." Sunwoo made an effort to put on a platonic face.

You sat on the carpeted closet without replying to him. He grew worried as no words left your mouth. He was afraid of every change of feelings you had, especially about him.

"Hey... I'm sorry if this thing is weird..." He lowered his head.

"Sunwoo, sit in front of me." The sternness made his body obey.

"What's up, hon'?" He brushed away the hair covering your face.

"What's stopping you, Sunwoo?" His breath stopped for a second.

You could feel within half a meter of a distance, his brain was processing vague and dismissive sentences to get out of this situation.

"Stopping me from what- Oh what I said before? Oh, I'm actually fine with you in the closet, I don't mean it that way— Sorry if you think that I was pushing you—"

"You know what I mean." He felt trapped this time.

Because he knew what you meant. However, he was caged in fear, not letting himself be vulnerable to the girl in front of him, scared that whatever he had to offer was either not enough or robbed away from him.

"I'm scared that love will always hurt, just like my last one."

You looked up, feeling your soul levitated in the gaze of his midnight eyes.

"I'm not her, am I now?"

"No. You're much better. You want me and I can feel it."

"Do you want me?" He took a breath, feeling the tension choking his neck.

"More than you know." You placed your hands on his cheeks, you leaned closer to his face. His breath fanning your face.

You let the chemistry speak, eyes on his lips then to his gaze. Leaning closer to his face until your foreheads touched, he placed his hands on your waist. Then, he nodded.

Lips clashing one other, your desire for him only grew more. It was silent as you traded mouths, but both of you heard each other loud and clear. For him, this was everything. The drive to go to lectures early, the reason he had structured a daily routine just so that he can see you as much as possible, he has you now.

"Do you believe that heaven's real?" Sunwoo let his nose and forehead rest with yours.

"Not really, no."

"Then, I'll love you 'til it hurts like hell." The final words came from Sunwoo before an alarm went off.

"I better see lipstick stains on Sunwoo once y'all out!"

-

[thelonelyempath]

M!Crush x F!Reader: Better Late Than Never PART 1

THEME: Fluff, Some Angst (Enemies To Lovers)

WARNING(s): None yet (Part 2 is NSFW)

**This was heavily inspired by a Skins episode. It's Naomi's episode from season 3. I did make a few key changes to avoid the "plaigarism" allegations. It was also heavily inspired by IRL beef I have with someone at my college who I may or may not have had a crush on at one point. Unfortunately, that beef will not end in this manner because the world don't work like that.**

It was cold and miserable. Why were you even forced to go on this stupid retreat with C/N anyways? He told you his friends set it up so the two of you could "stop hating each other". Yeah, like that would ever work. If anything, you expected that time spent alone with him would make the two of you hate each other more.

"You okay?" he asked you, the glow of the fire illuminating his face.

"That's the first time you've asked me something." you quipped back.

"Today?"

"Ever."

"Well...answer it then. Are you okay?"

"No. This is miserable. The weather's shit and the company's even worse. Why are we even here? Why were we forced to go on this stupid camping trip with each other?"

"You know you could have said no. Nobody forced you to be here."

He was right. You could have said no. But, admittedly, a camping trip (even with someone you don't like) was better than sitting at home and being bored all weekend.

"Whether or not I said no is irrelevant." you said. "What was the point of this trip? Was it so your friends could make bets on if we're gonna hook up?"

"I'll be honest," he answered. "I don't know either. They said it was to get us to stop hating each other, but it's really none of their business. And now we're both just sitting here, bored and unhappy. The worst part is they're making us share a tent."

"Yep."

The fire was warm. It felt nice. You held out your hands against it to warm them. Unfortunately, the skies were looking a bit ominous. You were expecting rain at any second.

"You know I never hated you, right?" C/N said out of nowhere.

"Hmm?" you raised an eyebrow.

"It's true, Y/N. I never hated you. I guess I was always such an ass to you because I knew you didn't like me. It made me feel powerful. God, I'm such a dumbass."

Damn. That hit hard. Truth be told, you never hated him either. Maybe his friends were right. Maybe this rivalry was stupid and pointless.

"I never hated you either." you confessed. "I caught you running your mouth about me to your buddies and it hurt me. I was angry and upset. And I think that may have colored my thoughts about you."

"That's totally valid." he said. "And listen, I never should have said those things about you. It's fair that you thought I was a dick. I know I hurt you. Like I said, I'm a dumbass. I'm sorry."

"I guess I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"The way I reacted. I held a grudge and I really shouldn't have--"

You were cut off by his lips pressing against yours. It was totally out of left field. Was it because you were talking too much and this was his way of getting you to shut up because he couldn't stand the sound of your voice anymore? You didn't want to like it, but you did. You surrendered to the kiss, which grew deeper when you gave in.

"I've been wanting to do that for a really long time." he said breathlessly after pulling away.

"You..." you didn't understand. "you kissed me. You just kissed the person who caught you talking shit about them a few months ago."

"I sure did. And I enjoyed every second of it. The reason I was talking shit about you in the first place was because I have secretly always had a crush on you. I was just scared of it and thought I had to pretend I didn't like you so it wouldn't be obvious. But that was really stupid and immature of me. I should've just told you so all this petty drama could have been avoided. But yeah...I've been crushing on you."

You felt a blush forming on your cheeks. C/N noticed this and smiled. Did you maybe secretly like him too? Where were all these feelings coming from?

"If you want the truth," you said. "I think the reason I was so hurt and angry was because I sort of liked you too. Maybe your friends were right. Maybe we didn't need to be fighting with each other."

It all finally made sense. You were both just too stubborn to admit you had feelings for each other. But you supposed it was better late than never. Though the fire was still blazing, a cool breeze washed over you. You ran cold anyways, so this did not help. You hugged yourself for warmth. C/N saw this and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close and kissing the crown of your head. Alas, you were finally in his arms. You didn't realize how badly you wanted that until now. With your head pressed against his chest, you could hear his heartbeat. It sounded so beautiful. Maybe you were starting to drift off to sleep. But just as you began to drift away, the moment was ruined. There was the rain, putting out the nice, cozy, warm fire.

PART 2

[calisources]

CW'S   SUPERNATURAL   SENTENCE   QUOTES.   all   sentences   have   been   taken   from   mostly   the   kripke   era   (season   1   to   season   5)   of   erik   kripke's   supernatural,   mainly   season   four   and   five.   change   names/pronouns/locations   as   you   see   fit.

SEASON FOUR .

If you're going to shoot, shoot! Don't talk!

Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of Hell but no one can do that.

So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and the X-Files are real?

It was beauty that killed the beast.

Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but sooner or later, they're gonna be back.

I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought 'I'm going to build me a nun factory.' Well, it was the right idea... wrong angel.

Tell me something. Where's God in all this?

I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.

Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.

If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

You don't know me. You never did, and you never will.

Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the Apocalypse.

I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.

Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe.

You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. 

I mean I worshipped the guy, y'know: I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.

Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real.

He's a Winchester. He's already cursed.

It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness.

Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.

 I'm not a hero, I'm not strong enough.

 I know our fate rests with you.

I couldn't break him, pulled out all the stops, but John, he was made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. 

You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap.

Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the Veil and you find the Reaper. how are you going to save it?

SEASON FIVE.

The only thing you're going to see out there is Michael killing your brother.

I'm gonna rip you apart from the inside out. Do you understand me?

No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?

You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. 

Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.

Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite.

Well, I got to ask. How old are you?

As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless - at the end, I'll reap him, too.

That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.

You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

World's gonna end, seems silly to get all precious over one little soul.

Why? Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now?

You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?!?

No one gives us the right. We take it.

You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes. 

I mean, whatever happened to personal loyalty? How long have I worked for these guys. Five millennia? Six?

 It's funnier in Enochian.

 This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds. 

And you think you know better than my father? The one unimportant little man. What makes you think you get to choose?

 It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes.

Think of the million random choices that you make--and yet how each and everyone of them brings you closer to your destiny.

As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth. One brother has to kill the other.

Well, call it personal experience. Nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family.

You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything.

Now, tell me... does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right? 

 Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it?

Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish.

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️This Elimination DEVASTATED Me☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 8 “Questionnaire, If You Dare”

GABBY HAS BEEN DOMINATING THE GAME FOR THE PAST TWO EPISODES AND I AM COMPLETELY HERE FOR IT!!

POP OFF. SLAY. DOMINATE. QUEEN. 👑

Anyway, we're back!

Yeah I've been gone a few days for personal reasons. I'm not gonna get into them.

I was gonna do this earlier but it was already so late at night that I decided "Screw it, I'll react to it in the morning".

And it's been raining cats and dogs all night and still is where I'm at. So the weather is screaming Gabby Stan too. XD

That's what I like to think that weather is saying anyway.

I feel like Gabby would love the rain and enjoy playing in it even when it's heavy rain. That's my headcanon.

Anyway, let's get into it.

WHAT ARE YOU COOKING?!

That looks unappetizing, dangerous, and DEPRESSING to eat.

"I'm in a MOOD Golden! Let me eat my poison in peace!"

"I messed things up with Tom..."

Didn't you guys talk about it last episode?

Or, Tom didn't forgive him, did he? So yeah...

"It's never too late to tell someone how you feel. It couldn't hurt."

"It couldn't hurt" Watch it HURT beyond repair.

Or if it's an "I love you" "I'm straight" situation.

"Uh actually Jake, I'm not into genderbent Marinette's, so..."

"Go talk to him. Tell him how you really feel about him."

"Right now?"

"Yes."

No offense Miriam, but I think this is BAD advice.

"BRUH, I'm on a very important mission right now, and you think this is a good time to confess your love to me? You sick bastard!"

I mean it's not as bad as that episode where Marinette tried to confess to Adrian on his mother's funeral anniversary...

Is THIS how deep I've fallen into this ship?! That I'm now comparing it to THAT?!

Like, I've been crazy this whole time regarding it. It's not very healthy given the circumstances as of right now, but for some reason I choose to love it.

I need to go to therapy.

"Move your ass, boy!"

"AND GIMME THAT FISH! NO SURROGATE GRANDSON OF MINE IS EATING POISON ON MY WATCH!"

😂

"Eh, he won't want to eat this anyway, he'll get his own version of breakfast in a minute."

Why is Tom depressed?

"Can we speak?"

"I'm trying to wallow in the darkness in my heart."

"Shortly before I came here, I ended a relationship that was very toxic and I got hurt."

Oh he's telling Tom this. Okay. I approve. He deserves to know.

How many people have he told this to? Miriam, Ellie, now Tom?

"HEY GUYS, DO YOU THINK JAKE WAS IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?! I CAN'T TELL!"

I'm not annoyed by it, I'm cracking a bad joke

"These aren't excuses for how I've been treating you, but I want you to know I feel terrible."

You yelled at him ONCE. And you apologized for it three times now.

I wouldn't count that as "I've treated you terribly this entire time".

I'm glad he's making this clear though. He knows when to take accountability.

"I said I was sowwy, pwease fowgive me!"

"I have a hard time trusting people, Tom, I just... talking to you makes me forget sometimes how shitty life can be. I don't want to lose that."

This is actually good on Jake's end. He's explaining his situation to Tom, not excusing it, and trying to be open and honest.

"After all this is over, I would love if... you and I... we... continue-"

"Jake."

Why is Tom so pissy? He wasn't like this last episode.

"I got a call last night... I got fired."

😨

WHAT?!?!?!?!

HE GOT FIRED?!?!?!?!?!?

WH-WH-HOW?!?! HOW-?!

*Golden.exe has stopped working*

OH MY GOD...

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT BEING WHERE THIS STORY WAS HEADING.

SO HIS MISSION FAILED?!

Maybe he'll explain it. I'll keep listening.

"A video in which YOU mentioned my work was uploaded to the Internet and my boss saw it."

OH...

*covered mouth* Oh my god...

JAKE, YOU FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR

THERE IS NO REPAIRING THIS

You got your crush fired, now you suffer significant consequences for the rest of your days.

Well Tom is DEFINATELY not gonna want to be around you ever again.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Not now."

"Tom, if you need anyone to-"

"I SAID NOT NOW."

*storms off*

GOD...

I can't imagine how that makes Tom feel though. Getting fired because of a guy you liked...

OH WAIT CAUSE I PUT TOM IN THE HEADING LAST EPISODE. SHIT. I CAUSED THIS.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T JINX ANYONE LAST EPISODE.

"Why do I always say the worst things at the worst time?"

Jake, saying sowwy a dozen times is NOT gonna fix this.

"Congratulations! You made it to the merge!"

OH. MERGE.

I thought we had another episode before merge!

"I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for you Gabby."

Yeah. Hail your queen and your savior.

"As long as Ellie doesn't snitch, they'll still think I'm an innocent little girl."

Hey Ellie, maybe you should tell them about the demon child.

And yes I mean it this time. I am using my overlord status to tell you to tell them about the demon child.

"I can tell them some lies about Ellie and Gabby."

They're not gonna believe you regarding Gabby. You two never talked.

"Hey guys, did you know Gabby is perfectly sane?"

"That guy is strange..."

"He sounds incredibly Scottish. And he looks like a thug. Hum hum, I wonder who Tom is after."

Tom, you're taking the loss of your job well.

"I may have gotten fired, but I get a bed now so I'm gonna chill."

"Ellie, I'm sorry I voted for you."

Ellie don't forgive him. Vote him off. Talk to the others and vote him and Fiore off. You know you want to.

"Dude, I'm not a villain! Back off!"

"It's okay Alec. I was a little angry at first, but it's over now."

NO WHY WOULD YOU FORGIVE HIM?!

HE'S JUST GONNA BETRAY YOU AGAIN

"She thought all hope was lost! The city cried for a hero! And suddenly a beacon of light, Gabby, that's me, saved the day with the immunity totem!"

God I love Gabby.

"I still don't fully trust Alec, but I trust him more than my other teammates."

WHY?

THEY ALL VOTED YOU.

ALEC VOTED YOU OFF TOO.

And you're friends with Jake, right? He didn't vote you! And he has Miriam on his side.

Be on good terms with Jake, you get his vote, and you get Miriam's vote, + Gabby and that's four votes. THEN if Jake can get on good terms with Tom again that's FIVE.

YOU GET IN THE MAJORITY ALLIANCE.

+ They're people LESS likely to BETRAY you. The Teal Team voted you because of Dan, who is gone, AND their reason was they didn't know you.

Alec DID know you, and he STILL CHOSE to side with the demon child over you. HE'LL DO IT AGAIN.

AND they're with Grett, who you have NO connection to! So siding with Alec is not gonna do you favors, as Grett is more likely to persuade them to betray you!

I'm just saying Ellie. I have NEVER agreed with a single plan you've come up with so far.

I'm not saying she's bad. I'm just saying, I don't agree with her.

"I'm worried you guys could be in danger."

What...?

I thought you were interested in working with Gabby & Ellie, that's what you said. You get the majority alliance that way.

Why would you try and save these guys?

Tom's the most physically gifted person here. Get a majority to vote Tom, and Jake and Miriam stand no chance.

"I'm worried you guys are going to try to eliminate each other."

'JAKE'

'TOM'

*Episode 6's Tribal Council*

...she do have a point though.

"How do you know about the totem?"

THANK YOU TOM.

WE HAVE A SMART GUY HERE.

"But since you're my old teammates-"

"And you voted me off the first day."

Why is Fiore doing this though?

This is my confusion with Ellie, but even more so.

She knows Tom is a bigger threat than Gabby & Ellie, right? And thanks to Ellie, she has an easy way of having Gabby & Ellie in Fiore's majority of five.

With that alliance of five, she can get Tom out, the biggest threat, and then Jake & Miriam stand no chance against them.

There's NO REASON to try and side with them when it's THAT EASY.

AND YOU KNOW THERE'S NO IDOL. SO THEY CAN'T PULL THAT ON YOU.

I'm sorry, in my POV, it's just stupid reasoning.

Oh god I don't like this...

I guess I should be thankful they're not being put in jars-

"These questions are all based on your opinion of everyone."

OH GOD IT'S THE TWITTER CHALLENGE-

"Some of these questions are kind of rude."

That's the whole point of Twitter. NO MERCY.

"I will ask the questions that you just answered one by one in a series of rounds. This time however, you won't answer based on your personal opinion, but rather, what you think the majority of the group answered."

...I'm so confused.

"And what are the cages for?"

GOD I'M ACTUALLY GONNA GET FLAGGED. STOP IT.

I do not understand these rules one bit.

"Guess you'll learn on the fly."

THANKS. LOVE THAT. /s

"If we intentionally answer the questions wrong, we won't have to take out anyone's lives."

YEAH BUT YOU PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER.

WHAT-WHY-I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR PLAN HERE.

"I don't think you quite get the game."

THANK YOU GRETT.

"Who would NEVER survive out here alone?"

Fiore.

OH COME ON DON'T BE LIKE THAT

*Fiore & Alec voted Grett*

Grett "WOW. WOOOOOOOOW."

SHE VOTED HERSELF XD

"Welp, I can admit my setbacks."

"You can each cut a life"

"Ellie"

WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU COULD ONLY CHOOSE THE PEOPLE THAT GOT IT WRONG-?!

*Golden.exe has stopped working*

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

"Who would spend a million dollars in less than a month?"

Grett? I think?

*Jake*

😂

OH MY GOD I'M GLAD I WAS WRONG THAT'S HYSTERICAL

"HEYO WHY YOU GOTTA ROAST ME LIKE THAT?!"

GRETT KEEPS VOTING HERSELF 😂

"I'm not that great and I know it."

"Ellie"

"What?! Again?!"

What did she do to you?!

"Why are you trying to get us out?!"

"You were doing the same with us."

Yeah. You were. To be fair.

"I'll pick Jake, just to keep things fair."

"Fair?! I didn't even do anything!"

"I'm sorry Gabby."

Uh huh. Sure. You didn't do anything.

"Who is the most trustworthy?"

Miriam.

*Miriam was wrong*

I'M SO BAD AT THIS GAME

*Jake voted Tom*

XD

THAT'S BOLD COMING FROM YOU

*Fiore*

Wow. You are idiots.

XD He has to lean over cause he's so tall XD

"You're crazy, what did I even do to you?!"

"Crazy?! Who are you calling crazy?!"

NOT THE BEST CHARACTERS HAVING BEEF

"No one has, even once, tried targeting us."

YEAH. CAUSE THEY'RE STUPID.

LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT. THERE'S PEOPLE YOU CAN TARGET.

PLAY THIS SMART.

"Fiore is a genius."

I wouldn't call Fiore a genius, I would call everyone else stupid.

"Who is the least trustworthy?"

I think that's Tom.

Yeah.

"Wow, I didn't expect that."

YOU'RE LITERALLY A SPY.

Well, WAS. You know what I mean.

Jake looks SO DONE XD

"OI, NO ONE INSULTS HIM BUT ME"

"May I remind you that YOU TRIED TO VOTE ME OUT?!"

YES. THANK YOU.

JAKE NOOOO

"It appears I get consequences for my actions yet again..."

Jake I hope you learn a valuable lesson from your experience in the penalty cage serving your time.

DON'T BEEF WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET.

"Who wouldn't you like to see win the million?"

Grett?

Yep.

Jake's just chilling XD

"I'm just serving my time, you know?"

"I'm not surprised. You're all morons."

CALL EM OUT QUEEN

"I said... everyone has an opinion and it's valid."

Girl, that's not how Twitter works.

On Twitter, THERE IS NO VALID OPINION.

One happy family of five chilling in prison

"Who is dressed the worst at camp?"

Have to say it... Grett.

She's wearing a swimsuit. Like come on, you couldn't make a better design?

*Miriam*

SHE LOOKS GREAT, Y'ALL ARE JUST MEAN.

"Who never shuts up?"

Both of my favs...

I feel called out.

"The correct answer was Gabby!"

"Aw... I'm sorry."

AWWWWW, GABBY HONEY...

"I guess we won't be able to vote together this time again."

YES YOU CAN. YOU'RE FRIENDS.

"I can tell you're gonna vote one of us."

Well... he got a point.

"But at least Tom and Miriam are voting Gabby instead of you."

...

WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY.

JAKE

DON'T YOU DARE.

WHY?!?!? WHY CAN'T YOU VOTE ALEC?!

"Whatever happens, no hard feelings, right?"

At least Ellie's cool with this.

Not personal. You vote my ally, I won't take it personally.

"One vote won't change anything."

At least they're on good terms about this. Not personal. They get it.

AWWWWWW

SEE?! NO HARD FEELINGS. THEY CAN WORK THIS STUFF OUT.

I feel like he's gonna vote Gabby though... I know it's not personal, but you know.

But Fiore has the majority alliance, so it won't matter. Gabby's fine.

I FEEL LIKE THEY MIGHT PICK JAKE THOUGH... OH NO...

"Ellie is friends with Jake! And he could persuade her to betray us! Better get him out before he has that chance!"

I can see that happening...

Gosh darn it...

"That challenge strategy was very impressive."

Except Ellie caught onto it.

Moment she gets an opening to process a betrayal, SHE'S the one that'll do the betraying and she's gonna side with the Tom Jake & Miriam alliance.

That's what I'm predicting.

And if you get Gabby out there's NO WAY IN HELL she'll work with you!

"Who will be first?"

Alliance of 5. The alliance of 3 is voting Gabby. They all vote together Gabby's not going.

You can pick Tom, who is a physical threat in the game.

You can pick Jake, who has a social gameplay advantage with Ellie and getting rid of him would spare her from possibly betraying you.

You can pick Miriam, who... idk.

I THINK it's gonna be Jake tonight.

And it's gonna HURT.

"Tonight, we won't just be reading the votes..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MY GOD IT'S A TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND REFERENCE

THEY DID THIS SAME THING ON THEIR FIRST MERGE COUNCIL TOO

YEAH YEAH WE KNOW...

OH GOD I'M SCARED NOW...

IT'S EITHER GABBY OR JAKE AND BOTH ARE GONNA HURT

"This is for getting me out of today's challenge."

BEEF.

And then it's gonna be all the Jake votes piling up.

OH WAIT THEY'RE VOTING TOM. WAIT A MINUTE.

NO IT'S TOM THAT'S GOING.

I mean I'm not saying that's a bad move, it's a good move, but...

OH I'M SORRY TOM. THIS IS IT FOR YOU.

WAIT WHAT??!?!?!?!

NOOOOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!??!?!

SHE'S ON YOUR SIDE!!!!

"Now without Gabby, Ellie will have no choice but to return with us to her old alliance."

SHE WAS ALREADY WITH YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!

THAT RUINS YOUR CHANCES TO ALLY WITH HER!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!!

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO COME ON THAT'S BULLSHIT

THAT'S A BULLSHIT GAME MOVE!!

DON'T DO THIS!!!!

😨

"Gabby. That's six votes. You're out."

GABBY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm actually HURT

I'm actually DEVASTATED...

OMG GABBY NOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, I'm calming down...

GOD I'M MAD. I'M SO MAD.

"I knew something was wrong."

HUH, at least now Ellie KNOWS who to trust, right?!

At least Jake came CLEAN about who his alliance was voting for! Fiore's DIDN'T.

HUH, I WONDER WHICH ALLIANCE I SHOULD SIDE WITH

That's a nail in the coffin. Ellie is NEVER siding with the villains.

I hope that gameplay was sounded smart on your ends.

Okay no I'll talk about this later.

"They ruined my plans."

OH YEAH NOW SHE'S OUTTED.

Fiore, you fucked up your entire game.

"You can make fun and celebrate all you want, but it won't last long! The three of you are still outnumbered."

OOF. And she just flat out said it.

"I am NOT working with you after this! You can't make me!"

"If you still had your totem, you could've saved yourself."

Yeah... should've kept that idol.

OH WAIT I PUT GABBY IN THE HEADING, I JINXED HER ELIMINATION, GODDAMMIT!!!

NO, I CAUSED THIS!!!

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER IN THE HEADING!!!

"I'm happy I saved you. You're the only person here who has ever taken me seriously, and possibly the only person I've ever met who has made me feel... valid."

💗

"Because you are! There's nothing wrong with you."

YOU BET THERE'S NOT. YOU'RE WONDERFUL, GABBY.

"I hope we'll keep talking when this is all over."

"We will."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

YEEEESSSS!!!

*I got a 'Speak No Evil' trailer ad*

WOW. TONAL WHIPLASH THERE.

So that was the episode... oh my god...

I'M HURT.

THIS ELIMINATION DEVASTATED ME. OH MY GOD.

GABBY WAS MY BEST GIRL, I'M GONNA MISS HER.

Okay, okay, I'm NOT someone who hates it when my favorite characters get eliminated and call that 'bad writing, they should've won'. Because sometimes that doesn't make sense for the story.

I CAN see a scenario of Gabby winning in my head. BUT if that's not the direction they want to go and they want a different winner, that's fine by me.

If anything, if you're gonna ask me who I think is gonna win... Ellie.

And I feel like the other finalists would be Jake and Fiore.

Cause I feel like Tom is a big threat so they'd want him gone and I think Alec and Grett are gonna get betrayed.

HERE'S MY BEEF THOUGH.

This plan, on Fiore's end, makes NO SENSE.

She has Alec and Grett on her side. That's an alliance of three.

Alec was successfully able to convince Ellie and Gabby to join them, and since both aren't close with the other three, that's easy. I can accept that.

So Fiore has an alliance of FIVE. The MAJORITY alliance.

Tom Jake and Miriam are the minority.

And thanks to Gabby, Fiore KNOWS that there's NO IDOL in play. So the minority CAN'T pull that trick on them.

So she and her alliance CAN successfully vote off one of the three. And ANY of the three would've worked.

Tom is the most physically gifted of the three and can be a threat in challenges, especially if he made it to the finale.

Jake has the social high ground as he's on good terms with Ellie.

Miriam is the glue keeping those three together.

Voting off ANY of those three would've worked on Fiore's favor.

"But what if Ellie betrayed them?"

She's NOT on good terms with Teal. The ONLY one of those three she IS on good terms with is Jake.

SO BETTER REASON TO VOTE JAKE, so Ellie betraying them is BARELY possible.

I'm a Jake Stan, but I can accept a Jake elimination in a gameplay move like this.

Ellie was already weary about Fiore's alliance as well, ESPECIALLY Alec. You NEED to PROVE that you're not gonna stab her in the back!

SO VOTE JAKE. And then she realizes "Oh shit, I CAN trust them!"

And you have her on your side!

By eliminating GABBY, the ONE person who Ellie WHOLEHEARTEDLY trusted, you BETRAY her YET AGAIN.

You LOSE one of your alliance members, therefore majority, AND you lose Ellie's trust that you'll be loyal to her! SO SURPRISE SURPRISE, SHE WON'T WORK WITH YOU.

You're in the minority, Ellie sides with Jake Tom & Miriam, AND YOUR ASSES ARE GONE.

"But why would she side with them? They voted Gabby too & and they tried to vote her too."

AGAIN, JAKE. Jake came CLEAN about who they were voting for, AND ELLIE SAID "NO HARD FEELINGS".

She's gonna trust someone brutally honest OVER someone who LIES to her!

IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO SEE WHAT I'M SAYING.

So the better game move, in my opinion, would be to NOT approach the Tom Jake & Miriam Alliance because they were ALREADY beefing with Gabby & Ellie without your help. Do your game move in the challenge to give Grett immunity. AND THEN VOTE. OFF. JAKE.

NO, I'M NOT SAYING THIS CAUSE I WANT JAKE OUT. I LOVE HIM. BUT I'M JUST SAYING IT WOULD'VE BEEN A BETTER GAME MOVE.

I have to imagine another idol comes into play now. That's the ONLY way Fiore can defeat the other alliance now. She Alec or Grett need an idol to nullify the votes and get one of the heroes out.

And on top of that, YOUR KID ACT GOT OUTTED.

YOU. ARE. FUCKED.

*Rant Over*

...so yeah, I'm sad that Gabby's gone.

At least we got a Gabby & Ellie kiss.

Ngl, I wish we had more time with them. Cause they were on opposite teams, they couldn't interact a lot. Even when they WERE on the same team for an episode, Ellie interacted more with Jake than Gabby. I understand that may be building up to... that entire rant I did, but I would've swapped the screen time of the two is all I'm saying. At least in that episode.

But they're cute and perfectly healthy and in a show like this... THAT IS A DAMN MIRACLE.

Also Lesbian W.

I don't know for sure if they're both in Season 3. I would hope they are just so we get more of them as a couple.

Cause Ellie is GREAT for Gabby. And that final interaction with them proved that.

Like I said, I think Ellie is gonna win the whole thing. I think that's the payoff here.

If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.

[jade-of-mourning]

sooooo I’ve recently stopped being dead to the world

I had to backtrack and reread down to your answer to my last ask (which,,, thoughts,, when you manage to beat them into submission pls pls pls pls share everything) because I haven’t touched tumblr in a hot second but then I saw your post about lok s1 (and specifically s1 korra) and,,,

okay so this is me and my dumb hyperfixation talking but how do you think the rest of tlok would’ve gone if makorra wasn’t ruined. like just in general, what do you think would’ve changed?? if anything??

keeping this short but like. brain worms are munching. cuz the way their characters developed and how they each influenced each other. how would that have ended like. romantically. like what if korra burned bright and bright and bright and offered her soul and her strength and every one of her fingernails in love and mako bit his lip hard enough to offer blood in a kiss. what if they were a little bit insane by the end of everything.

sorry that doesn’t make any sense!

love

🐌

hey snailon!!! i've missed you <3 i've been hella busy myself (cough i have four ap tests in a row next week) but it's always lovely to see you around haha

hmm there are definitely a fair share of really well written meta regarding a not-slanderized makorra, but i don't really have any specific links on me rn. i'll just give you my sparknotes version of what i'd imagine, which might end up combined with stuff i've read from other people that i don't remember reading

i'd probably postpone them more than the series did — which, granted, they did write it with one season in mind, so i'll give them that. (i would argue that it's still a valid explanation for certain writing choices, because even though the books were commissioned before the release of their predecessors, it's not like the writers get to just rewrite the ending spontaneously bc episodes aren't constructed chronologically lol) okay ignoring that tangent

i'm okay with the love triangle in season 1 as it is because even though it's insane, it also checks out on all parts for korra, asami, and mako in terms of backstory and personality at this point in the story. korra is socially unaware because she never interacted with people her age or really Society, asami is desperately lonely and values good intent above all else, and mako is also impressively socially stunted and has the pressure of financial concerns as well. (if it were up to me, i would either just commit to korrasami or makorra from the start and add in the third if going in the throuple direction. i'm going off on a tangent again)

i have conflicting feelings about endgame. on one hand, makorra is so full circle by concluding the way they do here — mako's first encounter with korra he treats her like he doesn't give a shit that she's the avatar, the first person to ever do so; yet, by the end when korra's absolutely devastated and believes her only value was as the avatar, mako tells her straight up that he doesn't care if she's the avatar or not, as he has all along. it's genuinely so cute and i could honestly write so many more words about it than i did. but at the same time, i just would like to think that after the shitshow love triangle, they would put off getting together, perhaps as an overcompensation upon recognizing how they hurt asami.

since the latter route is the au i've decided to follow, so be it. in endgame, korra and mako still have their full circle moment and spinny-hug, but instead of kissing in front of naga they just longingly pine into one another's eyes. excessively so the viewers know. okay cut

season 2 they are rekindling their friendships with asami and asami is tired of watching them dance around their feelings for one another and also maybe pining just a little bit for korra but huh what. i would actually have to rewrite the entirety of lok to shift s2 into a readable mess. korra is still amazing as always and saves the world as always. oh also throw in some korrasami with the family betrayal theme. yeah i don't want to think too hard about this

see the struggle is that i love krew!friendship in season 3 so much but at the same time i feel like end of season 2 is the perfect time for a makorra get-together instead of a makorra breakup, seeing that korra has literally changed the entire world all by herself because she is so amazing. so alas, we'll go with end of season 2. mako no longer lives under his desk to hide from korrasami and in the two weeks between s2 and s3 they are done with their honeymoon phase so they'll just be as they are through s3 tbh. honestly there was so much makorra shipteasing throughout canon s3 that i don't really think there'd need to be too much rewriting. they're still the level-head/kick-the-door-down-subtlety duo within the krew dynamics and they're still clearly very important to each other specifically. the makorra hug before korra goes up to face zaheer might be drawn out even more and maybe something sweet couples say idk. (i have so much rizz i know wht i'm saying)

korra gets even more trauma for a lifetime (again), and three years pass. korra writes to asami once as in canon because by the time she feels human enough to pick up a pen, she doesn't even know how to talk to mako, let alone try to address the guilt of ignoring the guy who devoted himself to her so thoroughly. asami understands what it is to lose. mako (& bolin) has lost more than anyone else once perhaps but i think that the trauma repression means that that was never processed and he would be terrible to talk to about any of this. he's been there, but he doesn't understand it, if that makes sense.

okay so korra comes back, makorrasami dinner (ig the shitling that canon wu is is there also), makorrasami train fight, then we have remembrances and beyond the wilds — y'know, the korrasami/makorra episodes respectively. korra is now experiencing feelings for both of them Oh Fuck. by default i would say that masami has been hooking up through these three years but since makorra was a thing through s3 then i retract that; however, their friendship has rekindled very deeply as the only two members of the krew left in the city. and mako & korra have not discussed what they were or what they want to be at all, just been adamantly dancing around the subject.

blah blah kuvira blah blah city blows up then the wedding then bam!!!! mako's love confession to korra is actually a love confession to korra (wdym "i'll follow you into battle no matter how crazy things get; i've got your back and i always will" ISN'T a confession of love). korra is joined by both mako and asami after tenzin leaves, asami grieves, and the three of them have a moment together that has very heavy implications for throuple-ism. then bolin pulls up very devastated that he has missed the final krew party. cue the laughter, cue korra's final delivery of "i'll always try to restore balance" bc it should've been here instead as the three of them stare at the changed city before them, and cut.

(yes krew should've had the final scene together. i've said it before that i don't think korrasami was particularly well written, but i still like them and the ending is still very sweet. however, i hate that they completely disregarded the rest of the cast for the final episode instead of giving them a scene together, even if not the very last one, bc of how that translated over into the entire fandom… i mean what. and the spirit world vacation is a sweet sentiment but also i feel that korra would never immediately go leave on a vacation immediately after everything that just happened and her declarations of duty. i don't think i articulated that very well. but yes.)

[utapri-hana]

💛 Side stories translation ❤️

Ranmaru Kurosaki

Demon God (Fire Ring Clothing)

❤️ Episode 1:

🦊Tenko: I am back. ......Oh! Looks like Tokiharu is still studying for the "School". Shall we have tea by ourselves?

😈 Ran: I never imagined a hundred years ago, or even twenty years ago, that I would be drinking tea with you. Although I knew only the name Tenko through Ren.

🦊: I used to hear about you from Ren too. It is an old tale that there is a demon god who is very feared. But now, he's a big brother that everyone can rely on.

😈: you are the one to talk ? ......Whether it's Tokiharu or the people around him, if they weren't such a handful, I wouldn't be taking care of them.

You weren't always like that, were you? I heard there was a rough period when even the foxes had a hard time talking to each other. I don't want to ask too much about it, but I heard that there's a lot going on with each other.

❤️ Episode 2:

😈: .........Oh, it's you. I just told you the other day to stay out of my life. If they see you talking to me, other demons will avoid you.

......... STOP LAUGHING! What's wrong with a demon eating fruit? Fruits still have better taste than humans. It's got a nice color and gloss. And it won't let out a scream that hurts my ears.

Good grief! Just take it easy. I don't care who your lover is, I just don't eat humans. If you want to be a mystic's wife or whatever, do it.

You won't listen if I tried to stop you. Do whatever you want. That's your thing, I know it as much as I hate it. Not even I have the courage to get in the way of love.

I'm rooting for you......I'm not against it, so let's just say leave it at that. 'Cause you're stubborn....You haven't changed a bit since you were a little demon, have you?

❤️ Episode 3:

😈: I'm sorry, we were talking about working together to take them down, Tengoku. But I got ahead of myself when I had the culprit in front of me. I just wanted to get this guy down and put him out of his misery.

However, this one shot reminded me of the old days............You were unlucky too. I'm a little resentful that he made me dream without my permission. I don't think I will be able to hold back!

With a perfectly calm arm, I may not be able to give half of its original power. but it's quite enough to send you to hell.

Ha, are you scared now? How sweet....I am not forgiving you even if you begged for your life! For every dream you showed me, I will return it with a nightmarish reality.

The more demons are feared, the stronger they become. with a single thrust, I'll smash you into pieces. You will witness The power of a fiery Demon god!

Natsuki Shinomiya

Tenko (heavenly garment)

💛 Episode 1:

🦊Tenko: It's getting hot, isn't it ~ Both of you, Otoharu-kun and Shonoshin should not be too reckless. I usually don't pay attention to my kimonos....

*Transformation*

🦊: This should be perfect for this season. It's a little old, but it's still as comfortable as ever. You two, what do you think?

*Otoharu and Shonoshin clapping for him*

🦊: I'm glad.....you know, Recently, I had a dream. So I was thinking, maybe it was about time to wear this kimono again.

Do you notice that the decorations are a bit simpler than when Shonoshin "changes"? Rest assured that I myself will not change.

Just like a yokai gaining power through someone's prayers and wishes. I may be stronger than usual.

Clap, clap .....Fufu, shall we try it?

💛 Episode 2:

Oh, I'm dreaming again The illusion of those days.

A dream about a human who was shunned for his ability to see Yokais so he was an offering to gods, and a Fox...

What a selfish creature humans are. I never asked for a single offering. With Such rebelliousness I let him live, but .....

He was easily kicked out of the village, and yet he never uttered a single word of complaint. On the contrary, he saw through my arrogance and still smiled at me for being a gentle fox.

Was this cloth the only thing he said he wanted? I was never able to cure him of the disease that was eating away at him.

But now, that bond has come back to me. So this time, I will protect it. That's why, for the past..... I will pay him back.

[ladymorghul]

It's really funny that Helaemond is still so hated by many greens and is often mentioned as a possible reason that could even make them stop watching the show. Ofc, I doubt they would stop watching it, they're mostly being dramatic. But still, making Helaemond canon by the showrunners would be, apparently, the worst thing ever🙄 and would irreparably ruin the greens.

However, these haters almost always ignore the fact that if any ship could ruin or seriously harm not only the greens but the show in general, it's Rh*enicent. And I really have an impression that the showrunners' idea of Rh*enicent is the one most TB fans have: the one where Alicent is constantly apologetic and subservient to Rhaenyra at the expense of her own family. Idk if those leaks are true, but even the possibility of Alicent and Rhaenyra's meeting at Dragonstone in the season finale irritates me. And the funny thing is, it really could happen given the show's nonsensical pushing of the ship that lost any meaning after the time skip. The seeds are unfortunately planted in episodes 8 and 9. But no, Helaemond is the biggest problem for the greens' storylines, according to my fellow greens. Right. Honestly, even though I would really like to see Helaemond happen on screen (in my version of Helaemond the children are still Aegon's, at least the twins), I don't have much hope anymore. I'm almost sure, however, that we'll see a lot of Rh*enicent inspired nonsense. I mean, what indelible harm could Helaemond possibly do to the greens? Imo it could (if done right ofc) only give more depth and complexity to Helaena and Aemond's characters. If the children's paternity and legitimacy is the problem for the antis (since some of green fans desperately want Helaena to be morally superior to Rhaenyra and a good and faithful wife™️ to Aegon no matter what) the children could still be Aegon's because Helaemond doesn't automatically mean that Jaehaerys and Jaehaera are Aemond's bastards. And Rh*enicent? I don't see how it could be good for the show since it would only further ruin Alicent for the reasons I mentioned above and wouldn't be helpful to Rhaenyra's character either. The pushing of that ship will only perpetuate the "evil patriarchy, evil men, poor manipulated women" narrative, which is honestly quite insulting and oversimplified for the story like this. And still, even Rh*enicent is more welcome in green spaces than Helaemond. Why, I'll never understand.

Sorry for this long rant.

hello.

you are so right and i very much agree with everything you said. everyone who follows my blog knows that i talked about this a million times and i did acknowledge and address some of the fears the greens have when it comes to helaemond but it's also hard to ignore the double standard and hypocrisy, just like you point out.

also rhaen*cent isn't just welcomed in green spaces, a huge chunk of the greens fandom ships them which is laughable for them to then turn around and talk about how helaemond would ruin the greens. rhaen*cent, from green fandom pov, doesn't even get 1/10 of the shit helaemond gets.

as for hopes for helaemond... i would write it off completely yet. unlike the fans of one certain ship who always claim they know what will happen, i can't claim the same. i'm not a writer for the show, i don't know what they have planned, but i have a feeling there could be a possibility of more helaemond in season 2. personally i will wait and see, these writers are not exactly consistent so who knows what to expect for them but if anything helaemond in season 1 was written with clear romantic subext and intent.

when it comes to rhaen*cent, we will certainly see more of it. they are very set on focusing on this ship so i fully expected it to be central to the story going forward, regardless of whether i like it or not. it sucks from many povs but i am fully aware that the writers are committed to this.

the claim that they'll stop watching if helaemond is canon... i mean it's their choice and they should do so if they want to but it's amusing because first of all, a lot of them will tune in regardless and this is all bark (remember when people were saying they won't watch hotd because of got s8? right...), but even if they don't, they are a very small portion of hotd audience and it won't really matter.

[quackle]

If there’s a third season in the future, what do you hope to see?

Mine are:

1. More Mkulia. And they somehow find a way to gain control of their team.

2. Raj and Wayne got separated into two teams, I want to see how they deal with their own team and their thoughts of compete against each other.

3. Add two more characters and make it 3 teams with 6 person.

4. An unexpected villain arc for a originally good character and let them win. (I kinda want to see Damien got one after he knows Total Drama well enough.)

gonna ramble about my s3 wishes under cut. i'll probably come up with more as the days go by:

i just think we deserve a girl vs girl finale. too many missed opportunities for one. i need to see girl success.

i love julia, but let's give the main antagonist role to someone like, oh i dunno, the contestant who has sworn vengeance on this cast during both of her eliminations maybe? (i'm looking at you scary girl. keep your word! make it to the dang merge and make their lives hell! i've written an analysis for you and everything!)

i don't even care if nichelle wins anymore (and that's saying a lot coming from me), but can we PLEASE just PLEASE get her to the merge at least? i am so sick of people calling her niche-L like STOP 😭 can we TRY with her character instead of making it into a gag? just a little attempt?? for me??? (as you can see, i am staring hard at the only two contestants from this gen who didn't make the merge in both seasons)

give us a challenge at night. give us a swimming challenge. give us alt outfits. give us new settings. give us some creativity and fun. we deserve it. the island is cool but imagine if we were quite literally anywhere else. your ratings will peak.

i would also like to see the hockey bros on separate teams, especially after wayne has seemingly gotten over his fear of being on a different (hockey) team than raj. it would be interesting for their characters imo!

no central romance plot i BEG. put that big binder AWAY. not saying we can't have a romance plot (i think they can be cute and nice!), but let's just make sure it isn't the central plot or i'll lose my mind <3

make mkulia canon you cowards. i know i just said no central romance plot but like. we can still make this a subplot if we try hard enough.

i need more drama in total drama. like. let's make the drama STICK instead of having it rushed and solved in the span of an episode. long lasting tension leaves the audience gagged and wanting more. if we gotta make longer seasons then so be it! (oh how i miss the longer seasons...)

if y'all don't make emma and bowie talk next season like........... do not separate the besties like this! bring them back!

and speaking of my fav white girly—we need her to get some plot. i do not ever want to see her eliminated the way she was ever again. that was heartbreaking!

if we can't make a world tour/musical season happen again, first of all, BOOOOO THAT SUCKS, and second of all, can we at least squeeze in a musical episode? i gotta hear them sing, i'm sorry... my musical phase is never-ending i fear

you know that one intern? the one with the really good design? it would be soooooo cool if they made her a contestant to fill in a contestant quota or something. it would be sooooo cool 😇 don't you guys think it would be sooooo cool?

[the-words-we-sung]

Season 3 ending

So... It's been almost a week since the last episode, almost a week trying to wrap my head around the end of the show, trying to manage my feelings about it all.

It's hard to end up feeling the complete opposite of nearly everyone on my dash but I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't love the ending. I didn't love this last episode. (I shouldn't feel ashamed or weird for saying so but you guys loved it so much that I feel a bit like an outsider right now 😓)

I haven't been a fan of the show for as long as most of you, but it means so much to me. These characters carved a place in my heart and in my head, and they've made me happy for months now. They helped me get through some stuff, made me discover some amazing artists, meet even more amazing people through this fandom. And I loved the story. Even in its darkest, saddest parts, I loved it. I was invested.

I love Wilhelm and Simon, together and separately. They mean so much to me. And I loved season 1 and 2. It made me happy, and sad, and frustrated, and exalted. But overall, I trusted the show and I was not disappointed.

Season 3 was a lot. I liked the first 5 episodes. I can't say that I loved everything about them: I was not expecting things to get so hard for Simon, with no reprieve in sight. I was not worried about Wilmon being endgame (I know it was a big stress for the fandom but honestly I never doubted that they were endgame), but I was wondering how the show would go about tying all the knots it made (I should even say all the knots it added during this last season).

(Under a read more because it's a bit long and I don't want to bother those who don't wanna read more of my frustrated thoughts ^^')

And unfortunately the last episode was a huge let down for me. Yes, it's partly because nothing I was hoping for actually happened, but mostly, it's because the choices they made did not feel very satisfying to me: ⁕ Simon was barely there. We went from him being bullied online/offline non stop for 5 episodes to almost nothing. It makes 0 sense to me. ⁕ Kristina suddenly feeling better: she was having break down upon break down for an entire season, could barely look at her son or even just talk normally and all of a sudden she's back, smiling and agreeing to everything Wilhelm says? I'm sorry but I don't buy it? Where did this Kristina hid during the entire show? ⁕ Wilhelm deciding to not be king, talking for 3min to his parents about it, them agreeing and him running into the sunset with Simon. I'm sorry, what?? I love that they end up together of course, but it makes very little sense to me? It won't change any of the issues they had this season? They're still gonna be famous? And bullied online/offline? (Probably even more so now?). I'm not obviously saying that Wilhelm staying in line to become king was the only or the best solution, but I wanted more from this storyline. I wanted to believe it. And right now, what we got? It feels a bit cheap (and I feel bad for saying that because the ending was cute and romantic and all, but it felt too disconnected from the rest of the show for me ><)

And apart from these few points, the big issue I had with this episode was: The Angst. So that might be a me-problem, but it was too much for my poor little heart (I haven't rewatched the episode yet, and I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon ><). I spent like 40min of the episode with a huge knot in the stomach because the heartbreak between Simon and Wilhelm was too much to handle for me. I can see how it was beautifully made, that having lots of throwbacks to the previous seasons, the Wille song, all of that was great cinematography. But it was just too much for me. I got in the season spoiler-free but for this episode? During the lake scene I had to take a break and check online if they were actually endgame because it was starting to actually give me a stomachache. So yeah, this part might be me being too sensitive but I did not like that they made me see them fight for each other for 2 seasons and 5 episodes, but then just giving up for 40min before finally running back to each other during the last 10min. It was just too much sadness for me ><

So yeah, maybe my expectations were too high? But I feel sad, and kinda cheated. Too many things are left wide opened. Too many things make zero sense to me. And of course I'm happy we got our Wilmon endgame, but I'm less happy about how it happened.

It's a bit hard being on Tumblr right now and seeing everyone who thought it was the perfect episode >< And I don't want to "yuck anyone's yum" (as the saying goes), but I still wanna be able to share my thoughts! I probably won't write super angry/unhappy/complaining posts about the season/the finale, but I still wanna be able to chat about it. I did see some posts on my dash from people not being entirely satisfied with this ending so it's a bit comforting. And I hope we can share some nice headcanons, or just discussions about different plot points.

But yeah, I guess that's why I haven't really been active this week! Trying to get over the double heartbreak of the end of the show + being disappointed with the ending! I'm gonna come back though! I miss hanging out here, I just need to strengthen my heart a little bit more :p Gonna get back to writing about my thoughts episode by episode for this season (I can't promise I can rewatch the last one though 😖 It might take me a bit of time to get there). And I want to continue my song analysis of the show!! I'm not even done with season 2 yet, I have some work to do there ^^

So see you back here very soon 😘

[elias-the-corvid]

I'm writing something and every time I'm rereading and get to certain lines I get HIT with feelings, so I'm having fun. I love laughing at my own jokes and crying at my own angst. I really really want to share it but it's not finished and I don't trust myself enough to promise it'll be done.

...Okay here's a sneak peek (tw for suicidal ideation? And lots of guilt):

(for context this is a time travel TMA fic in which only Jon comes back to his own body in season 1. At this point he's been having lunch with Tim almost every day for a few months and they've formed a stronger friendship than before. They're talking about past relationships.)

"The second one I met here."

It was barely a whisper, Tim wouldn't have heard him if a few more people were talking around them. He could see in Jon's face how difficult it was for him to talk about this, but he also saw determination. He didn't know why.

"He was… so good to me." Tim only blinked but in his mind he was recontextualizing some things (he! Jon dated a he! Not surprising at all but it was good to have the confirmation) had Jon not told him for fear? "He was there for me when I'd lost everyone in my life. I wasn't really nice to him in the beginning but he stayed when no one else did. He was my-" Jon stopped and breathed deeply once, twice, thrice, and tried again "He was my anchor." Tim didn't know what that meant, but it sounded important. He touched Jon's shoulder in reassurance and he flinched, looked at Tim's eyes surprised. "Sorry, I- I really miss him. I lost him in July."

And there it was. "I lost him," not "we broke up." Tim suddenly understood some things better. "Did… was he-? Did you lose him that day you broke down crying?" He wasn't sure this was okay to ask but he needed to confirm a theory and he was nothing if not a curious man.

"Yes." Jon looked away, as if lost in memory.

"Can I hug you? You seem like you need a hug." Jon merely dropped his head on Tim's shoulder, eyes closed. Tim held him there.

"He kept me human, you know? He- he was the strongest man I'd ever met, even when people thought him weak. He sacrificed so much." Tim nodded and let him speak, he needed this.

"And even in the end he did everything right. He should be here. I shouldn't have gotten out of there alive." Tim felt his shoulder get wet. Oh, Jon was crying. He seemed to do that more nowadays.

"Oh, Jon. I'm sorry. Whatever happened wasn't your fault, alright? And you'd never deserve to die. You're a good person." Jon chuckled between sobs.

"That's not true."

"What isn't true?"

"All of it."

Tim hugged him tighter. He couldn't fix this but he'd be here for Jon. "I'll remind you every day how much you deserve to live if it's necessary, alright? You're my friend. I'll always be here for you."

Jon got quiet suddenly. "What if you don't though? What if- what if I become too hard to deal with? What if I hurt someone?"

"I'll still be here."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

[martianbugsbunny]

You know what was not fun? Suddenly out of nowhere developing eczema when I was in my mid teens.

1, it gets bad every time the season changes—every summer I'm like no yeah it gets really gnarly when it gets all hot and humid and every winter I'm like no yeah it gets really gnarly when it gets all cold and dry.

2, I'm horrible at the not-scratching thing. Do I know it will make the problem worse, and probably also cause some bleeding/weeping? Yep. Does that make it easier to resist? No. It itches. When things itch I want to scratch. I often do it without even thinking and oh shit now I feel bad because I should've "just not scratched" and also now my hands hurt more.

3, I fear even scratching what appears to be a regular itch on my hands, the insides of my elbows, or the backs of my knees, because I have it predominately on my hands but it's been really horrible on the backs of my knees especially, like before I realized there was actually something going on there I scratched so much it hurt when I ran soap over the skin while I was showering, and there were always these big red bumps with little spots of blood, and if I scratch in one of those places what if I cause it to flare up by irritating the skin?

4, I feel bad for complaining about it, because I feel like people are going to see me feeling sorry for myself about my (legitimate) skin condition and say okay dramatic bitch it's just a skin thing it's not that big a deal, and because I sometimes feel that way towards myself about it even though I live in my own body and I know it is a big deal; it itches all the time and it hurts and as you can clearly see by this post that all effects me mentally.

5, it makes me feel ugly sometimes. When I had it on my knees it was summer, and therefore I was wearing shorts, and it was visible and I knew it. I was so worried that people were going to look at it and be revulsed or make fun of me or just laugh about how ugly it was, because it's not pretty—and it's a medical condition, it's not supposed to be, but it still makes me feel lousy. On my hands, depending on how long my sleeves are, I can cover most of it, but I still know it's there and I worry that if I shift my hands too much while talking other people are going to see it and wonder ew, what's wrong with you, and not want to be near me.

6, it started at the worst possible time. I was a teenager with my first boyfriend, a very hard-won boyfriend mind you, talking to him in the first place was the boldest thing I'd ever dared to do not just because I knew he was cute and smart and that he liked superheroes, but because he was a human being and speaking to other humans is one of my greatest trials, and it was all well and fine until our second date was coming up and suddenly I had these horrible red patches all over my skin and all I wanted out of life at the time was to hold hands with my boyfriend but I felt incredibly self-conscious and sad about the idea that my eczema might gross him out and he wouldn't want to hold hands with me. (In case you're saying poor Martian, hunny did he let you down? no. he did not. I drove myself crazy not scratching and was lotioning day and night to try and get it under control and for the most part I did so I suppose I'll never know if he would've, given the opportunity, but I didn't have to worry about it on the day of the date itself so that's what counts for me.)

7, it's something I had to adapt to. not very good at doing that tbh. Every time I have a flare up I'm can't help thinking it wasn't always like this and being upset, because my skin used to act the way skin is supposed to and for some reason I don't even know, it stopped.

8, I was prescribed medicine (one that will literally do permanent damage to my skin if I use it too often but that's barely here or there), but if I forget to put my preemptive strike on for a couple of nights and there's a change in the weather and I don't use my anti-eczema lotion enough during the day then I have a flare up anyway.

9, once a flare up starts it's really hard to stop. Nine times out of ten one of the problems is that my hands are too dry to start with, but the medicine only makes them dryer, which while it does help them heal, it also creates a different secondary sort of problem that stymies the healing at a certain point. So I take a break from the medicine to focus on getting my skin to a healthy moisture level but that's really hard to do, I don't know why, and the eczema is getting worse because I'm not applying the medicine and I'm kind of stuck.

So...yeah. Eczema sucks and I'm not even a little brave about it, I'm just tired and sad.

[uwuspaceboy]

sooooooo i watched 6 episodes of shameless today haha so anyways here are my thoughts on 10x9-11x2

the wedding was real cute i love these fuckups

lip relapse nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely that was so heartbreaking i'm glad he very quickly realized it was a mistake and got to a meeting with brad

prediction (that i've had for a while but not sure if i've said here) i really think frank is going to die at the end of the season and the final episode will be his funeral and i'm gonna cry so hard no one tell me if i'm right but just know

debbie and sandy milkovich kinda slay but omg gallaghers stop getting with milkoviches challenge

liam you're so cute and i love u keep grifting bud

the whole ian/mickey monogamy, wait i spelled monogamy wrong!, yeah i'm going to lip's house teehee thing was pretty funny

also the season 11 opener of frank saying what's going on major callback to season 1 opening scene ugh i love it

ian telling mickey he wouldn't mind having a couple little kiddos running around before getting married was really sweet, also mickey does have a kid somewhere but i don't think svetlana's ever coming back with him whoops sorry

carl the sicko becoming a cop not what i would of expected but it does make sense i'll give them that

the whole debbie/milf/julia thing was crazy that's all i'll say on that

mickey being a bridezilla not what i would've expected but he it is a well documented fact that he is a brat tho so

ian and mickey's communication problems being a problem in their marriage! who would have thought! but seriously please just sit down and talk to each other just have a whole episode just be them sitting down and talking to each other

yeah mickey's never gonna get a "real" job but like ian threw a tantrum about mickey softening up too much when he was being ian's nurse early in his illness so what you just want him to switch up now?

i think that's all i've got for now but you know i'll be yapping again the second a new thought pops up into my head so

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Cold as Ice - Chapter 6 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Landon Reilly

Anne and Matthew Hanson were the type of parents I wished I had growing up.

It was clear they loved their son and did what they thought was best for him but they were also the type to own up to their mistakes.

If they had wronged their son, they would apologize to him and make things right.

They were a loving and affectionate couple, not afraid to show their love to each other or to their son.

My parents were never like that, so it took some getting used to when I moved in with the Hanson's.

That was why when I walked into the house after Wren had dropped me off, the hug I got from Anne was shocking but welcomed.

"Landon. I didn't know you were coming home this weekend," Anne said, squeezing her arms around my waist.

"What a pleasant surprise."

"Sorry I didn't call, it was sort of a last minute decision."

Anne pulled away from me and waved me off.

"You don't have to call first, this is your home."

Home, I didn't know if that was something I would ever get used to.

A place like this felt more like a home than mine ever did but it still didn't feel like mine.

I wasn't sure I would ever find a place that truly felt like mine.

"Landon?" Matthew asked, walking toward us with a smile.

The expression on his face instantly made me feel guilty for never calling him like Micah asked me to.

"Hi, um, I meant to call you," I started, awkwardly averting my gaze.

"But I've been... busy."

He waved me off.

"Don't worry about it. I know what college life is like."

I was sure he was imagining my college life a lot different than it actually was but this was better than me admitting I just didn't want to call him because I had no idea what I would say.

I was too used to my father only wanting to talk to me to make sure I was compliant with all his rules.

He never checked up on me out of care, only to make sure he could still control me.

"Yeah, my classes are keeping me busy," I said.

"And hockey's starting soon."

"Don't be afraid to ask for help if all becomes too much," Matthew said, Anne nodding in agreement.

"There are so many resources for class help. Go to tutors, get to know your professors. They'll help."

I nodded, though I knew I probably wouldn't take his advice.

This was a conversation Matthew and I had multiple times before I went off to school.

He had been concerned from the start and I knew his concern was much different than that of my own father.

My father was only concerned with hockey, wanting me to be the best, to beat everyone.

College, to him, was just a stepping stone to getting to the pros.

It was a dream of his that he never actualized, so now it was supposed to be mine.

"Are you hungry?" Anne asked after a moment.

"I'll cook something up."

"No, I'm fine," I said, shaking my head.

"I'm going to go hang out with Livi, so we'll probably eat then."

Anne nodded.

"Do you need some money?"

I shook my head.

"I have some."

I hated taking money from them but they didn't give me much of a choice.

Matthew wired money into my account every so often.

I tried not to spend it because I hated the fact that I had to rely on them financially but it wasn't like I could get a job during hockey season.

I put my things up in my room and then Matthew let me borrow his car so I could drive to the ice rink where Livi currently was for her figure skating practice.

I pulled around to the back of the building and saw her leaning against the back door.

Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun and her sweatshirt was zipped all the way up.

She was scowling down at the ground and I couldn't tell if she was angry or if that was just how she looked.

The both of us had severe resting bitch face, so it was hard to tell.

She looked up when she saw me stop in front of her and she smiled before getting into the car.

"Hey," she exclaimed, reaching over to wrap her arms around me.

"Hey," I said with a chuckle, patting her on the arm.

I moved the car and parked it out of the way behind the building.

It wasn't likely that our parents would be lurking around here but I didn't want to take any chances.

"How was practice?" I asked her.

Livi rolled her eyes.

"Sucked. Colleen Andrews is getting better than me every day. Dad wants me to go Tonya Harding on her."

"Of course, he does," I scoffed.

"You'd know all about that," she replied with a giggle.

That was the thing with our dad.

He wanted us both to be the best, no matter what it cost.

He'd have us injuring anyone better than us rather than just accepting the fact that they were.

That was what he wanted me to do last year at The Masters Tournament to Elijah Ellis and his team.

They were the better team and we would lose to them, everyone knew it.

Dad thought it would be a good idea for me to injure their best players before we had to play them, Dave was on board with injuring Elijah and Fox and I almost went through with it.

I had seen them at the pool one night and went there with some of my teammates with the intention of hurting them.

I shoved Fox but even as I did that, I knew I wasn't going to finish what I started.

Fox had overpowered me anyway but I knew there would be hell to pay with my father when he found out I didn't do anything, even if we ended up winning the game and even though he was angry with me for starting a fight on the ice, to him, it was better than coming back home a loser.

My father had turned me into an angry, violent person with no dignity or integrity and now he was trying to do the same thing to Olivia.

"I'm not going to do it," Livi added.

"Colleen's better than me, so what?"

That was how I knew my sister was so much better than I was.

"Don't let him force you into something like that," I said.

"He doesn't care about the consequences. He just wants you to win."

"I know, Mom's the same way," she replied with a sigh.

"Only she thinks Colleen's better than me because she follows a stricter diet and is in better shape than me. She tried to feed me plain oatmeal this morning and packed me lettuce and carrots for lunch. Not salad, lettuce."

I scoffed in response.

Our parents were crazy about just about everything, that included our diets.

When I lived at home, Dad watched what I ate like a hawk to make sure I followed the strict diet he laid out for me.

"So I put that lettuce on a nice, juicy burger," Livi told me, grinning as she let out a loud laugh.

I chuckled along with her but I still found it hard to think lightly of this situation.

Our mother basically wanted her daughter to starve.

"Other than that, they haven't been too awful, have they?" I asked, looking away from her.

I could see her stare at me through the corner of my eye.

"Nothing I can't handle," she said after a few moments.

"They're really strict about my phone because they don't want me talking to you and they try to force me to go to the rink every day but they're not nearly as hard on me as they were with you. Especially not Dad. He still thinks I'm his little princess."

"Well, let him think that," I told her, still looking straight ahead.

"You don't need him to start being hard on you."

I had no idea how he would treat Livi if he knew she had been in contact with me.

I would like to think he wouldn't be as harsh with her as he was with me but I wasn't too sure.

Livi pulled one knee up to her chest and tilted her head to look at me.

"You don't need to worry so much, you know," she said.

"He doesn't treat me like he treated you."

'Yet,' I thought but just nodded in response.

"Can we go get ice cream or something?" Livi asked.

"And you can tell me about college, about any cute boys."

She looked at me expectantly, her eyes wide with wonder and he grin taking up her whole face.

My eyes widened and I let out a breathy laugh, putting the car into drive.

"There are no cute boys," I told her.

"There has to be."

"Well, there isn't."

There would never be, I was content with being alone forever.

"You need to put yourself out there," Livi said as we pulled away from the rink.

"You'll find someone."

"I don't want anyone."

She looked at me like she didn't believe me but she dropped the subject.

The two of us went to a diner the next town over to hopefully avoid seeing anyone that knew our parents.

I ordered plain vanilla ice cream while Livi ordered some sugary mess and a plate of fries.

When we got to our table, she put the fries in the middle of the table and instantly dipped one into her ice cream.

My face scrunched in disgust.

"That's gross," I told her.

"You know what's gross?" she asked, popping the ice cream covered fry into her mouth.

"Plain vanilla ice cream. Boring."

She hummed in agreement, dipping another fry in her ice cream.

"You know they made Jimmy Murphy Captain of the hockey team for this season," Livi told me.

I tilted my head in confusion.

"What? Why? He's a junior."

He was only a year ahead of Livi in school and the two of them became friends last year when Livi started high school.

He was an okay kid, nothing special.

"There are rumors his dad is giving money to the school for the hockey team," she continued.

"And that's why they named him Captain before the season even started."

That would be enough to secure him as Captain.

If there was one thing private schools loved, it was getting money.

"Is that Elijah over there?" Livi asked, nodding her head toward a table across the room.

I slowly turned around and saw that it was Elijah and some kids and Fox and Wren.

I made eye contact with Elijah and he looked at me with a surprised expression before waving.

This caused the rest of the table to look over at me and I got looks of hatred from Fox and one of the girls.

Wren's mouth quirked up in a subtle, amused grin.

I tore my eyes away from them and looked back at Livi.

"Hurry up and finish your ice cream. We're leaving," I rushed out.

"Don't rush me."

"I'm serious," I hissed, giving her a stern stare.

"Hurry up or throw the rest away."

Livi rolled her eyes and stood up from the table, going to the counter.

The cashier handed her a box and plastic spoons.

She came back to the table and put the rest of her fries in the box and the two of us scurried out of the diner.

I didn't spare one last look at that table.