#scrutinized fanart
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atomiclena · 7 months ago
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TANNER ALERT
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‼️🚨 HE’S HERE AND HE’S HANDSOME 🚨‼️
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almondcroissantsandink · 10 months ago
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did someone buttdial the immediate murder professionals
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twiggyart6 · 7 months ago
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I like ponies. And goats. And cats(?)
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felinegoodtoday · 6 months ago
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did some doodling in the middle of the night and wanted to show it off so here. dont mind the pencil/eraser marks… also the lighting is shit but oh well
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castielsprostate · 4 months ago
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like. it’s lovely that you’re enjoying the deadpool/wolverine shipping. but it’s still a marvel movie. i thought we were supposed to be boycotting marvel bc they have an israeli character?
hm. i already spoke about this but im just gonna be honest. you cannot deprive yourself of every. single. fucking. thing. and i am so fucking tired of policing people that are already doing shit for enjoying a single thing that isn't even involved with it.
i dont really talk a lot about what i do, because i dont think i have to justify how i live my life (something about good people dont have to brag about how good they are), but im already boycotting mcdonalds, im already boycotting starbucks, sodastream, burger king, phillips, airb&b, as much of nestle as possible, and every other company i can reasonably boycott. im donating to fundraisers and pleas for help. i donate to the pcrf. i donate to demining ukraine. i donate to greenpeace and a national cancer fund. i go to protests and demonstrations, i participate in community efforts, i share resources and fundraisers and verified information. im rallying for voters, i'm involved in my local community's green party. you dont see what i, or my friends, or other random internet users, are doing behind the scenes.
i am stretched fucking thin, my bank account is dwindling to keep up with everything. im going through insane health scares right now, chronic pain, anxiety so severe i want to fucking die, and a major chronic depressive episode to top it all off, i. am. exhausted.
you cannot deprive yourself of everything because when you do, there'll be nothing left of you. and who the fuck are you going to help then? the world is still happening, it's still turning despite the wars and genocides, despite the rising death toll of climate change, despite the threats to democracy. all we can do is put our effort where our mouth is, and take care of ourselves.
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moonmacabre01 · 5 months ago
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It's knuckle joe jaugust
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Finally! A whole month just for him!
And my habit of personalizing characters has struck again . . .
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ladykatdollx · 1 year ago
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Anyone remember Tanner?🤭yes I was a part of the Tanner simp army🙃
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crystalkleure · 7 months ago
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WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK WE DON'T HAVE TO DANCE WE DON'T HAVE TO SMILE, WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE FRIENDS
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artvitorianoir · 1 year ago
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The breather and the kidnapper sure very cool I never draw you good too @the-breather-stuff
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atomiclena · 7 months ago
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there it is again. that random Tanner sketch because he pops up in my head from time to time and I just have to draw him
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nezumasa · 4 months ago
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How I feel about the “Ao3 should allow monetization explicitly” thing is very much “absolutely not.” Same goes with patreon and paid subs and shit.
But for some random guy’s one-off personal comm among friends or shit like “guy gave me some money so I want to thank them with a little work,” yeah Idc. Just don’t advertise that explicitly on AO3 and also roll your dice.
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coffee-and-geto · 5 months ago
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“BE MY VOICE AND I CHOOSE YOU TO FILL THE VOID”
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“Why a second chance when the first one didn’t work?” “Because we’re too stubborn, love.”
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pairing: fashion designer! suguru geto x supermodel! reader
summary: after you broke up with suguru a few years ago, you swore you’d never have anything to do with him ever again… until new york fashion week arrived and you found yourself forced to take part in the event with suguru geto — aka your ex and one of the most famous personalities in the fashion world, as your fashion designer. but perhaps the latter will take advantage of the event to do his utmost to regain your heart.
warnings: +18 only, smut, modern au! (no curses), exes to lovers, geto is your ex-boyfriend, fluff, (light) angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety attack, bossy! reader, nobara is the reader’s assistant but also plays cupid, only one bed/second chance trope, jealous! geto, gojo makes an appearance because he’s a fashion designer too, switch! geto, oral (f + m), fingering (f! receiving), sex (p in v), creampie, handjob (m! receiving), body praises, fanart by @ / hiikeu.
wc: 15,257
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“He wants you among his troupe.”
You nearly spit out the sip of your drink through the straw. “Excuse me?” you laugh out loud.
But even in front of the serious expression of one of the employees of the agency you work for, it’s hard to keep your own. A fit of giggles takes over your stomach, releasing uncontrollable laughter that echoes throughout your dressing room.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Nobara — your assistant — squeezes her planner against her chest — a nervous tic that has never been trivial to you. Silence finally returns to the room, and neither of the other two women utter a single word. The corners of your lips fall. “This is a joke, right?” you whisper breathlessly.
Nobara pulls her phone out of her pocket and scrolls for a few seconds before showing you an announcement from the official website of New York Fashion Week. She is followed by the employee who hands you a tablet screen displaying an email signed by someone you had erased from your life years ago:
Suguru Geto.
°°°°
“Next.” Suguru’s sharp tone cracks like a whip as another model steps onto the casting studio podium. His fist clenches nervously around the handle of the megaphone, resting its bell on the foldable wooden table.
In front of the silhouette of yet another candidate, Suguru’s gaze scrutinizes the model’s fine features that adorn her refined face with prominent cheekbones. A defined jawline. Hazel eyes and a slender body.
“Next,” Suguru repeats mechanically — perhaps because his eyes are desperately searching for your form? With each new woman, he hopes to meet your captivating gaze. And he almost systematically dismisses everyone when it’s not you?
“Mr. Geto, maybe we should—”
“Silence,” he cuts off without a glance at Manami, his assistant.
She sighs and offers an apologetic smile to the model who leaves the podium with a look of icy disappointment. Suguru’s right leg starts to twitch slightly in his chair—a sign of anxiety gradually eroding the calm he tries to maintain in his troubled mind.
“Night Skies: The Illuminated Darkness.” 
A relatively inspiring theme and quite easy to design. So why has no inspiration come to him since the announcement? Why do his thoughts constantly drift to outfits that only you deserve to wear, making him prefer to withdraw his participation rather than let someone else wear them?
Fuck.
After the next four hours, Suguru and Manami leave the casting studio for a break in the lounge. He leans against the counter, letting his obsidian eyes fix on a void, swept away by his overwhelming reflections. In the background, the coffee machine rumbles.
You had to join his troupe. Even though he already envisions a firm refusal from your agency. But he is ready to try anything for you — even risks that could endanger his career.
Manami clears her throat slightly and takes a hesitant step towards him. “Mr. Geto? Out of the three hundred top models proposed by partner agencies, we’ve only shortlisted four…” She fiddles with her nails painted in vermillion red, bites her lower lip, and adds, “And that’s under my insistence. At this point, I seriously doubt—”
“Write a letter to this agency,” Suguru cuts in once again without listening to a word of what she tried to explain. He hands her a business card from your agency and mentions your name. “You must know her. I want her among the models for my collection. Otherwise, I’ll cancel my participation,” he declares in an uncompromising tone.
Manami carefully takes the small card and studies it. She lets out a perplexed sigh and nods. “Alright.”
°°°°
“No, absolutely not! I refuse! Reply to him that it won’t be possible!”
“Miss, please—” Nobara tries to calm you and prevent you from committing murder against the top model manager of the agency.
“We’re talking about Suguru Geto! THE internationally renowned designer!” the manager yells with such vehemence that it surely carries well beyond your dressing room.
“I don’t give a fucking damn! There are thousands of models in the world! No one knows, so reply to this email with a fucking refusal!” you yell back just as fiercely. Your usually well-groomed hair is slightly disheveled by a few rebellious strands as agitated as your anger.
There is no way you’re participating in New York Fashion Week or any other event involving Suguru Geto. Not after everything that happened. 
Not after he abandoned you. 
No.
“But are you aware of what you’re saying—”
“Shut up! If you’re not happy, I’ll quit this damn agency right now! Do you think you’re the only one who wants me? I have hundreds who will be at my feet as soon as I’ll leave!” you spit after a bitter laugh.
Nobara’s soothing hands rest on your shoulders and force you to sit in a chair. Assured that you won’t attempt another assault on the manager, who has turned pale at your declaration, your ginger-haired assistant easily pushes the manager out, whispering to her not to set foot back in here until the refusal is sent to Geto.
She tries to argue one last time, her voice a bit more pleading and less aggressive, but Nobara slams the door in her face. She leans against it, sighs deeply, and closes her eyes for a moment. “Phew…”
As for your own state, ‘fury’ is the perfect adjective. Hair in disarray, cheeks flushed with anger, chest heaving with irregular, harsh breaths, and a vein throbbing along your neck; it’s as if you could turn your dressing room upside down at any moment.
Nobara heads to your automatic water dispenser and pours you a fresh glass. After ensuring you drink every drop, she notices you seem calmer.
Your bloodshot eyes meet her gaze, and she offers you a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll personally make sure everything is sent properly.”
You nod and run a hand over your face to wipe away your overflowing emotions.
It’s crazy how just the mention of that cursed name can set you off. But the final straw was when your manager was informed of Suguru Geto’s request for you to join his models for New York Fashion Week. She insisted relentlessly despite your patience for a no.
She said she didn’t understand. 
Of course, no one could understand when no one knew that one of the world’s greatest designers had been your boyfriend before your careers took radically different paths. But how could you explain when he was the one who pushed you to break up with him, leaving you alone, lost, and broken with only an unknown fate to face without anyone’s help?
It was without anyone’s help that you built yourself into who you are today. 
Even less your international career.
All the agencies are at your feet, but the only person you wanted to see there wasn’t. 
So there was no reason to pay attention. 
You will not participate in New York Fashion Week. As long as it involves Suguru Geto, anyway.
°°°°
Mouth agape in shock, Suguru thinks what he sees before him is a prank. 
But it’s indeed a clear refusal from the agency you work for. 
No, no, no, no, no. 
NO.
Suguru storms out of his design office and rushes upstairs to his luxurious bedroom to rummage through his personal belongings. An old photo album is hidden under the piles of clothes in his dresser. He scatters his things carelessly, paying no attention to the mess, and with trembling hands, he drops to his knees, flipping through the album.
On each page, a plastic film covers photos of you and him. One — the most painful — is the first one he took at the beginning of your relationship with him. Both of you standing next to an ice cream vendor, radiant smiles on your faces with sun rays illuminating both your faces, you had your arms around Suguru’s neck. Another one, as he turns the pages. You, lying in his bed one morning. He had taken it the night you had your first time with him. Your figure, which he worships, is covered with his sheets, and your mouth is slightly open as you sleep. A cute little drool escapes from your mouth.
All these photos hold real memories. Proving that nothing was imagined by him when, in his moments of madness, he wondered how he could have ended up here if it all was real. His heart twists in his chest when his eyes catch a photo of him with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and your lips pressed against his cheek. Those flowers were the first Suguru had ever received. He had never received flowers — not even from his own family. You were the very first to give him any.
Suguru pinches his lips, lost in reflections that lead him to check your Instagram page. On your profile, your posts are often collaborations with luxury brands, your body wrapped in fabrics showing your silhouette in its best light, some old videos of you as a child that you wished to share with the world, or random photos of you in pajamas in front of your mirror or with your daily makeup.
He couldn’t help but watch your stories, your posts, your interviews, and your shows in the shadows, never intervening as much in public as in private. 
Suguru is obsessed with you. 
And he has never stopped being, even after you broke up with him years ago. He never wanted to end things with you. 
He pushed you to do it so as not to hurt you more than you would be.
It was when you announced the breakup that he felt all the accumulated resentment he had caused in your heart, and he was nostalgically happy for you. 
You no longer had to endure the pain of canceled dates, missed calls, his constant absence.
He knew, at the time, that he was hurting you. He knew you hid your wounds behind forced smiles and excuses you found for his lack of involvement and neglect without him even having to make them when his career started to take off in the fashion world. He understood that he didn’t deserve you.
Yet today, Suguru burns for you. 
He is ready to risk his career to find you and seek your forgiveness. 
He is ready to lose all his dignity, let you use him like a mere pawn, humiliate him, and break him. 
All that, just for you.
Even if he doesn’t deserve you, Suguru wants your forgiveness at all costs. 
Even if he doesn’t deserve you, Suguru wants to redeem himself to you. 
Leaving your Instagram page, he opens Twitter and tries to find a way to force your hand to participate with him in New York Fashion Week, to meet him, to allow him to do everything to deserve you again and no longer have any regrets. 
He taps the ‘New Tweet’ icon and writes words that may place his reputation on an unsteady platter that could fall at any moment.
°°°°
The grip around your phone threatens to make it explode between your fingers. Your knuckles whiten, your hand trembles, and your eyes burn as you read the few words on a Twitter post where you’ve been tagged. It’s as if this time, you’ll actually turn your dressing room and even your agency’s headquarters upside down.
“@reader’sagency. @reader, would you do me the honor of participating with me as a model at the next New York Fashion Week? :)”
Your eye twitches, and you robotically lift your head toward your assistant. “Nobara, I beg you. Pinch me, hit me, slap me, but tell me this is just a nightmare.”
She looks up from your phone and sighs with a forced smile. “It’s... a nightmare?”
You grab a cushion from your red velvet sofa and bury your face in it to muffle a long scream from the depths of your soul. Nobara chuckles and places a hand on your shoulder. “You can just refuse. I’m sure everything will be fine. A public refusal should calm him down,” she whispers.
“Have you seen the comments, retweets, and reposts?” you murmur in a small voice, your brain numb.
Nobara frowns and shakes her head before taking out her own phone. But you stop her by handing her yours without lifting your face from the cushion. “No... Already? But... He posted it less than twenty-four hours ago!” Nobara breathes out in astonishment, covering her mouth with her hand.
Indeed, even though Geto’s tweet is less than a day old, it hasn’t stopped an overwhelming number of internet users and fans worldwide from reacting strongly to the news. You could very well refuse publicly yourself or through your agency — even humiliate him by posting a screenshot of the initial private request that was rejected, making him look desperate and creepy. But that’s not the issue.
By daring to renew his request publicly as if the previous one never existed, he’s putting your reputation and your fans’ hopes — whom you cherish so much — at risk.
If you refuse, you risk disappointing many and tarnishing your image as an arrogant and condescending supermodel for refusing to participate in such a globally anticipated event with one of the best-known designers in the world — despite the fact that no one knows about your past connection with Geto.
The reactions are so hyped, so excited and amazed at the possibility of you and Geto forming a partnership that would result in something beyond imagination.
Suguru Geto has just forced your hand, hovering a threat over both your career and reputation, as well as his own. But you need to make a decision.
You lift your head from the cushion and take a deep breath to brace yourself for what you’re about to do.
“Nobara?”
°°°°
With one foot in a pair of shiny white stiletto sandals and an outfit of the same color, one of your bodyguards helps you step out of the black sedan with your first step onto the ground. You stand up elegantly, wearing dark sunglasses. You are escorted in front of a huge building — one familiar to you from the pages of fashion magazines you usually read — and the immaculate sliding doors open for you.
You stand in the middle of the enormous hall, head held high and one eyebrow raised. “Weren’t the other models supposed to be here at the specified time?” you ask Nobara, who hurries to join you at your side.
“That’s what the email indicated…” she sighs, busy arranging the white fur draped over your arms, framing your long strapless dress in the same color as your heels — a tribute to Marilyn Monroe. Nobara lifts her head with a worried frown. “He couldn’t have stood us up or changed the address at the last minute—”
A confident and cheerful female voice calls your name. In a synchronized movement, you and your assistant turn toward an elevator entrance where a fairly tall woman with a slender and elegant figure, dressed in a long sleeveless Byzantine purple dress, stands. Your two bodyguards follow you and Nobara to join the woman, but she raises a firm hand.
“Your assistant will suffice.” She smiles professionally, and you nod, entering the elevator with the other two women. Like Nobara, she holds a clipboard against her chest and almost looks at you with admiration. “It’s an honor to meet you in person.”
You offer her a polite half-smile, and the elevator begins to climb its endless floors.
“My name is Manami Suda, Suguru Geto’s personal assistant and one of his executives,” she continues, glancing at Nobara. “And you are?”
“Nobara Kugisaki, her personal assistant,” Nobara replies with equal seriousness, and a hint of pride fills your chest. “But since you are Mr. Geto’s assistant, that answers our question. Why are we the only ones to arrive at the agency on time? Where are the other models?” she asks, tilting her head to the side, skeptically.
A small chime announces the arrival at the very top floor, and the doors open to let the three of you out.
Manami doesn’t lose her smile and leads the way down a corridor with an immaculate gray carpet. Her black heels make muffled sounds with each step until reaching a door where she knocks three times. “Everything will be explained by Mr. Geto himself,” she assures, opening the door after a ‘come in’ is heard from the other side.
The voice, though muffled by the door, is easily recognizable. A bitter pang grips your heart, but you shake it off within seconds with a blink.
Manami steps aside and introduces you as you enter.
At the back of the office stands a black swivel chair facing away from you — masking the already known identity of the owner and adding palpable tension.
Manami discreetly leaves, closing the door silently, leaving you to face one of your worst nightmares. The chair turns to face you and Nobara, and the face of Japan’s most popular designer and couturier lays his dark eyes on you.
You remain secretly frozen a few meters away, back to the door, your eyes coldly staring at your ex.
Suguru Geto has always had a reputation for being a man of style, in his behavior, his language, and his way of dressing. While the basic suit he wears contrasts with the extravagant outfits that the wealthiest designers can afford — in this field, they are certainly experts, and some can wear clothes as expensive as the series of Picasso’s “Les Femmes d’Alger” paintings — his perfectly sculpted body and charm embellish the slightest thing he wears, even if it was straight from an old supermarket. But if there’s one prominent feature of his face that can match his advantageous physique (his body), it’s his hair. Being a chic, elegant, and refined man, Suguru is also known for his iconic long raven hair. With strands cascading down his back and bangs framing his temple, the half-bun at the back of his head has always earned him numerous compliments and collaborations with the most well-known brands for their haircare products.
Suguru’s piercing eyes narrow as his lips stretch into a smile. Your name rolling off his tongue gives you goosebumps. “Welcome. Please, have a seat.” With a broad gesture of his hand, he indicates two cocoa-colored leather chairs at the end of a ridiculously long glass table.
You take a seat without looking at Suguru at first, and Nobara seems to read your thoughts as she immediately asks, “Where are the other models?”
Suguru places his forearms on the table in a measured gesture, but as he responds, his gaze never leaves yours. “None are at this agency, it seems.” And it all feels as if asking such a question is stupid.
“That’s what was written in the email,” you reply in a dry voice.
“That’s what was written in the email,” Suguru confirms with a strange softness. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? If I hadn’t said that, you would have refused the meeting.”
You blink. “Excuse me?”
Suguru’s smile widens even more as he continues, “Aren’t you happy to see me again?” And for a nanosecond, you thought you saw his irises darken.
Nobara alternates her gaze between you and Suguru, completely lost.
“Mr. Geto,” your tongue clicks against your palate, “I came here to discuss the initial progress of the collection you will present at New York Fashion Week. Nothing else.” You pause. “If it’s for any other subject, please address my manager, and I can leave right now.” Your frozen facial mask doesn’t falter at all.
“Awwww… You’re breaking my little heart, love—”
“Enough.”
Nobara looks dubious. “You… you already know each other?”
“We…” You pause, torn between the idea of confessing everything to Nobara or pretending nothing happened. “In the past. Before we became known,” you reluctantly admit. “But it doesn’t matter. I have nothing to do with anyone now.”
Suguru’s gaze darkens and never leaves yours. Yet, he doesn’t say a word, and an uncomfortable silence sets in.
Nobara decides to break it by clearing her throat and speaking again. “I— I see. I won’t say a word,” she murmurs.
You sigh and straighten slightly in your seat. “Fine. Let’s discuss the proposed theme.”
Suguru’s Adam’s apple moves as he swallows, and during the next half-hour, neither of you brings up your past relationship with Suguru again. The choice of the leading model was quickly settled on being you — because among all the proposals from partner agencies, no other model in Japan reaches your level of fame.
Suguru also doesn’t waste time revealing that he has selected very few models since the theme announcement. The delay will potentially impact the preparation and organization for New York Fashion Week, but he hasn’t bothered to explain why. He simply asked for your help with the rest of the selection.
You hesitated before accepting, finding it strange that someone like him is so behind. But how could you know that you are Suguru’s muse — his source of inspiration, the purpose of his existence? He is much more confident than a few weeks ago since he finally saw you again and ensured you decided to work by his side. It’s only a matter of time before you settle the score with the low blow he dealt you — something impossible to do with witnesses like Nobara around.
The agreements also included a trip from Tokyo to New York. The group will be accommodated in a secure, comfortable, and luxurious hotel until Fashion Week ends and preparations allow access to dressing rooms for each model.
This means being much closer to Suguru than expected...
°°°°
“What do you think?” 
“I’m not a stylist.” 
“That’s true; you’re more than that.” 
“Shut up.” 
“Come on… Don’t be so rude! I need your help!” Suguru grins, and you roll your eyes, noting the name of a model who just walked past. 
On the runway where hundreds and hundreds of models from all over the world are parading, you, along with Suguru — much to your dismay — are perched on a high platform giving a panoramic view of each model. Of course, he had to move his two-seater table just to spend time with you — a detail he didn’t hesitate to hide from you. What’s the point? he muses with amusement, glancing at you; from the side, he gets a view of your hair falling like a curtain along your cheeks, your nose bent over your clipboard as you jot down names of models that would be interesting to keep for Fashion Week. This poses no problem in itself, especially for an event like this.
If only your partner wasn’t Suguru Geto. 
Ugh.
“Help you? While I’m the only one noting names while you harass me with your pathetic attempts at conversation? Don’t pretend to ask my opinion when you’ve barely looked at more than ten models,” you retort irritably. The ballpoint pen rolls over the paper with obvious frenzy.
“‘Harass’ is a bit harsh,” Suguru comments, his lips pursed in a mockingly offended pout — just to hide his predatory smile. “I’d say I’m trying to have a conversation — something you, let’s be honest, avoid like the plague.” A smile curves his thin lips. “And then, why bother looking at what doesn’t interest me when I already have what I want. I’ve never bitten, you know,” he whispers, his eyes softened by a tenderness he hasn’t felt in a very long time.
“You don’t have me,” you respond immediately. You raise your eyebrows and, without looking at him, you continue, “Oh really? You do have quite a resemblance to dogs,” You wrinkle your nose to sneer mockingly as he takes offense. It’s strange because you haven’t laughed in front of Suguru for years. But as expected, the laugh is not joyful; on the contrary, it’s meant to hurt him because you still can’t stand his presence — even less when it’s forced.
“Hey! You’re insulting me!” he frowns and wipes away a laugh. Suguru shakes his head and sighs. “How cruel.”
Your lips turn downwards, and you roll your eyes yet again (you could have won an award for the record number of eye rolls in such a short time). Ignoring the feeling of vice and hatred gnawing at your heart, you refocus on the runway several meters below. The blinding spotlights brilliantly illuminate all these models eager to participate in the highly anticipated Fashion Week alongside Suguru Geto, the internationally renowned stylist, and you, a supermodel equally famous — while you both are plunged into the shadows of the upper floor that looks more like a hallway where stage technicians usually come to secure and manipulate high-up equipment, rather than anything else. Especially when the provided table is just foldable wood and almost fragile to abrupt movements.
Your eye catches a rather tall model with long ebony hair and golden, radiant skin. Her silhouette seems almost ethereal, and it’s at this moment that you don’t regret for a single second having taken your life into your own hands when you were alone just to admire the beauty of all these women of various beauties, shapes, and ages. The female body is beautiful.
No, magnificent.
“That one…” you murmur, noting the candidate’s name announced by Manami below. You bite your lower lip in a concentration tic. “She’s perfect. We’ll keep her for later.”
Suguru nods, but his gaze hasn’t once rested on the model whose name you just mentioned. His irises don’t leave your features, which he has missed so much, especially at this distance. “Hmm…” he hums simply. He gets lost in his contemplation.
You haven’t changed a bit.
Even if your hair is styled differently, your makeup meticulously done, and your chic and luxurious fashion sense, to Suguru, you left him in the same state you are now. He knows your body by heart — not thanks to the photos he kept of you — but because your existence has marked his so much that your simple face is forever etched in his retina.
When Suguru says he is obsessed with you, he goes to the end of his words.
Of course, he regrets his past actions and seeks the right moment to ask for your forgiveness, but he couldn’t hold back.
It was stronger than him.
°°°°
In the spacious studio typically reserved for smaller fashion shows (the irony noted), today it is being used to give Suguru a first taste of what his final troupe was proposing. With your help, Suguru has finally moved on to the next stage just before the outfit creations begin.
Manami, who is backstage, is managing the music and the secondary effects. She sends a message to Suguru to indicate that the line of models can begin their walk before returning from the runway.
The music starts with a rhythmic tempo suited to the steps the models are to take. You are the last to go, which annoys you immensely. Your supermodel status is far more valuable than that of a mere model. Every aspect of your profession is a relentless effort; so seeing these poor models advance with such banal and mediocre strides makes you want to vomit.
Did you accept this for that?
Already, you’ve had to endure disdainful looks from the other models in the group regarding your popularity. It’s quite audacious for them to act so confident when their steps resemble those of a penguin, you can’t help but ponder.
When it’s finally your turn, you waste no time.
The music resumes, and you begin your first steps with a feline grace, almost silently gliding down the runway. Your high heels strike the ground with a hypnotic regularity, syncing with the pulsing beat of the music and its rhythmic cadence: a perfect synchronization. Each step is a demonstration of confidence and control, shoulders straight, chin slightly lifted, eyes fixed straight ahead.
Each step brings a breeze that lightly lifts your hair from your face, like a halo enhancing your display worthy of a true model. At the end of the runway, you pause gracefully before turning on your heels with impeccable precision.
As you return, it’s even more captivating as you continue to walk with palpable assurance, your hips swaying slightly, capturing everyone’s attention.
Your turn finally ends, and the desired effect has certainly been achieved: everyone’s eyes have been glued to you from start to finish. You also didn’t miss Suguru’s gaze fixated on you, his lips parted in captivation. This, of course, earns you the disdainful looks of the other models in the troupe, but a triumphant smile adorns the curve of your lips.
This is what it means to be a model.
“Very well, very well! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for your very pleasant and… captivating performances,” Suguru announces energetically, standing in front of his chair with his arms open towards his official troupe.
Unsurprisingly, his gaze does not leave you and remains fixed on your silhouette as you move towards the backstage, back to him.
°°°°
You knock on the door, and Suguru’s muffled voice invites you in.
For a stylist and designer as popular as he is, Suguru’s sewing workshop is… more unconventional than you would have thought.
Indeed, several spacious tables are littered with sketch sheets—some colorful—fabrics of all colors, lengths, and textures. Crafting materials are scattered here and there, cluttering the passage along with open boxes on the floor, making it nearly impossible to take a step without brushing against piles of stuff that threaten to collapse. But at least the workshop isn’t filthy and retains the same aesthetic touch you’d find in TV shows or fashion serials.
At the far end of the room, a single chair is occupied by Suguru, who is sitting with his back to you. Hearing your approach, he turns towards you, his eyes fixed on a bright yellow measuring tape and a metallic needle wedged between his teeth, with a fuchsia pink thread running through the tip.
“Come closer,” he murmurs, moving towards you with the help of the wheels on his chair.
Feeling self-conscious, you take another step closer, and when he lifts his eyes to you, it feels as if you are naked before him: less than a step away, you are wearing a delicate sport bra that barely covers your chest, dreading any shiver that might reveal hardened nipples, along with a pair of equally revealing bicycle shorts in the same color. You had insisted to Manami on a firm refusal to wear any underwear in front of Suguru, without providing a reason.
Even though he has seen far more intimate parts of your body before, the current situation with him challenges everything.
A faint blush colors your cheeks, and without a word, Suguru extends his arms, his long, slender, pale fingers wrapping the measuring tape around your waist first. You can’t gauge the meaning of his gaze. How is he reacting internally right now?
But his mischievous remark answers you the moment after, “You okay? Are you still breathing?” The sarcastic tone immediately irritates you.
“And you’re taking the opportunity to enjoy the view, aren’t you?” you retort venomously. You’re about to continue spewing your hatred towards him when his hands gently — but with some firmness — grasp your hips and make you turn around. You stifle a moan at his touch, which sends a shiver through your body and, as you feared, your nipples harden. You step away from him abruptly when his breath grazes your side. “What are you doing?” you ask sharply, your arms futilely trying to cover your chest.
Suguru sighs. “Are you done acting like a kid?” He grabs you by the elbows and forces you to turn your back to him. He wraps the measuring tape around you again. “So no, I’m not enjoying the view, I’m doing my job.” He kneels to measure your hips, and with a glance downward, you see his amused smile. “You should have refused to work with me if it bothers you so much to be measured.”
“Ah, as if I had a choice?” you retort abruptly.
“You did,” he whispers as he stands up, brushing your hair away from your back, and for a moment, his warm breath caresses your shoulders. All you want right now is for him to place a tender kiss on the side of your neck, but the resentment towards him always takes over.
“No, you know that’s not true.” Your tone is harsh as a whip. “By the way, have all the other models been through here? I saw assistants with all this gear. Why am I the only one alone with you?”
Suguru grins. “The others went through with my assistants,” he replies with a chuckle before taking your bust measurements. “You’re the first I’m measuring, and the only one.”
“What game are you playing?” you murmur after a pause.
“None.”
He continues with the rest of your measurements — bust, thighs, legs, and finally arms. During this part, he takes an unusually long time to scrutinize you, and his head tilted close to your skin makes your heart race uncontrollably.
The final straw is when his lips accidentally brush against your arm.
“Stop that,” you warn him all of a sudden, stepping back. Your furious gaze seems to want to kill Suguru on the spot, and he loses his smile.
“I—”
“Stop pretending to be clueless, Geto.”
He already knows it will be hard to win you back, especially with this reaction he had long feared. But it had to explode sooner or later.
“If you think I’ve forgotten the past, you’re deluding yourself. The jerk you were is still the same in my eyes,” you seethe.
Suguru takes a step towards you in an attempt to beg you not to avoid him as you continue to back away. He murmurs your name in a plea. “I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be, but I did all this for you. I knew you wouldn’t be able to refuse a second time with—”
“I don’t want you to try to make up for it, not after all these years. Is that really why you asked me to come back? Because I’ve reached your level of popularity? My money? My body?” Your throat tightens further, and you squint your eyes to hold back your tears. “I will never forgive you, Suguru. I’m no longer the naive girlfriend who waits like a fool for someone who didn’t give a damn about her!”
“I— It wasn’t— Please, let me explain… I still love you as much as I did before, and I know I’ve been unworthy of everything you’ve put up with for me, but—”
You bitterly laugh in his face. “Liar! You’re lying, and you always have, even when you said you loved me! Your babble about what you were and what you are now is just the typical crap an toxic ex says when they want to win someone back. Did I really have a choice to come back to you? Do you think it’s a good method?”
With those words, you turn around and walk away towards the workshop door.
Suguru’s heart screams at him to follow you and beg on his knees for you to listen, but he knows your stubborn temperament. The only words that come from his mouth after his first failure are enough for him to know you’ve heard them, even as you fling the door open and rush out.
He knows you heard him.
“You will always have a choice with me.”
°°°°
“What do you mean, ‘the camera isn’t working’?” Suguru thundered with severity.
The entire group waiting for the final shoot (including you) turns towards the back of the studio to face a visibly agitated Suguru. He is handling the camera in every direction and then turns towards you.
You’re ready, dressed in the latest collection from the luxury brand you’re working with for Suguru’s troupe’s Fashion Week. There’s no problem on your end.
So why is he talking about a camera that isn’t working?
Especially when it’s your turn?
You take a hesitant step towards him, and Manami quickly avoids your questioning gaze, stepping away from her superior.
A few other models follow you, whispering incomprehensible things not far away to your ears, but all you care about is hoping you’ve misunderstood something.
“Find me another camera,” Suguru orders, violently throwing the one he had against a wall. The sound of metal shattering on the floor startles everyone.
Manami follows him out of the studio at a brisk pace. “Wait! Mr. Geto! Did you forget that this isn’t our studio? It’s the only camera we were able to borrow!”
“SO?” Suguru retorts acridly. “She’ll be the only one not photographed while she’s the star of MY troupe?” His tone rises significantly towards Manami. But he doesn’t spare a glance at you, even as everyone listens to their conversation intently. “Don’t forget that tonight the magazines will be prepared, and we won’t be here but at Gojo’s reception!”
All the other models turn to you in unison, watching you with astonishment.
“Too bad, I’m sorry but she won’t be in it!” Manami resigns with an even tone. “We need to leave in an hour, and the reception starts then!”
“Absolutely not! Find me a fucking camera so she’s in the magazine for tomorrow!” With those final words, Suguru opens the studio door and storms out, slamming it shut behind him with a loud bang.
Silence envelops the room, and you find yourself at a loss for words, your lips sealed and your voice stuck in your throat.
Manami sighs and finally turns to you, her face showing sincere regret. “I’m sorry… I know it’s really unfair, but I think you won’t be in the promotional magazine for the brand partnering with us…”
“I—” Your face falls completely, and you look in dismay at the broken camera on the floor from a few minutes ago.
“I’m truly sorry…” Manami murmurs, lowering her head in genuine remorse.
A few hours later, you’ve resigned yourself as well. The luxury brand partnering with Suguru’s agency had lent outfits from their latest collection for advertisement in fashion magazines. The models and the brand were to be highlighted, but this preview was unfortunately ruined by the delay caused by Suguru, who couldn’t complete the photo shoot in his own studio. On the same day — at a time too close to the reception hosted by his friend-rival Satoru Gojo, a stylist of equal renown—the weather and equipment decided to turn against you.
According to Manami, the camera borrowed from a nearby photo studio was sabotaged right after photographing all the other models. So, despite your star model status, you won’t appear in the magazine coming out. The lack of time also prevented photographers, as well as Manami and Suguru, from finding another camera in time, as everything was prepared at the last minute.
Your troupe isn’t the only one participating. Those of other stylists — like Gojo, for example — will also be featured in a fashion magazine with their partner brand and all their models. The shame will fall upon you as the one not included.
And it will be a scandal — you couldn't make it up.
But Nobara has been far more helpful than you would have thought. She learned the news that evening while helping you prepare in your dressing room for Gojo’s reception and was outraged by the situation. Most of all, she was scandalized to learn that someone had attempted to sabotage your photo shoot.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Your name rolls off Satoru Gojo’s tongue as he bows respectfully and takes your hand, brushing his pink, thin lips against it.
“Likewise.”
Your raise eyebrow and small, sly smile don’t escape him, and he responds with a laugh that makes your heart flutter. Through his signature round sunglasses — Gojo’s trademark — his cerulean eyes sparkle with mischief. He gives you a wink, then releases your hand and offers you his arm. You take it without hesitation, appreciating the touch of a man like him.
The reception hall is packed with models and stylists; some are Japanese, while others come from different corners of the world, ‘passing through’ before heading back to New York. Indeed, the trip is fast approaching, and this evening is one of the last things you’ll need to face before traveling to the other side of the world.
Chandeliers light up the marble floor with tiny reflections that resemble stars. Tables lined against the walls overflow with dishes and canapés — along with chocolate fountains and desserts. Small groups are gathered in every corner of the room, and the dance floor is filled with couples or partners dancing amidst the exceptionally chic ambiance.
“I’m meeting you in the flesh,” Gojo murmurs, casting a flirtatious glance at you. This man has always had the reputation of being exceedingly handsome and tall. Today, you confirm it.
In his immaculate tuxedo, Satoru Gojo walks with you through the room, maintaining a perfect conversation without awkward pauses or questionable vibes. He is exquisite, charming: everything a woman could dream of.
“Few people get to meet you up close,” you add with a light giggle. You adjust your hold on his arm and look up at him. “I heard you’re also participating in the New York Fashion Week.”
“Indeed.” He takes a glass of champagne and hands it to you. “It would have been a pleasure to work with you, though,” he murmurs with a wry smile.
“I would have loved that.” Your gaze sweeps across the room as you take a sip of champagne. “It’s a shame I went with Mr. Geto.”
“Oh yes, Suguru. My eternal rival. I was surprised by that Twitter post. A model like you… should be among the best, and unfortunately, Suguru is one of them.”
“Do you think so, Mr. Gojo?”
He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you a bit closer as he stops near a table with canapés, not far from a window. “Call me Satoru,” he says, looking at you over his sunglasses and taking a mini macaron.
You pick up one as well, and Suguru’s figure passes by you, too quickly for you to understand what’s happening but close enough to notice his gaze on you and Satoru.
“Would you be interested in working on a future collection with me after Fashion Week?” Satoru asks, his attention completely focused on you.
Your blood rushes in your ears as you feel his breath on your lips and you hold back the urge to lean in and kiss him.
“With pleasure, Satoru,” you respond with a smile as playful as his.
“Perfect.” His face lights up, and he is about to say something when he is interrupted by a trio of models approaching you.
“Excuse us, Mr. Gojo,” one of them coos with a sugary voice, batting her eyelashes.
“Can this wait?” He rolls his eyes without any shame. “I’m busy.” He pulls you closer to him with a firmer, more possessive embrace.
Without wasting any time, he takes you out of the reception hall, where a few people are lingering and chatting in a slightly more intimate setting. Thick crimson velvet curtains adorn the various entrances, and Satoru leads you further in.
Your cheeks flush in reaction to the pleasant situation you’re in. Your mind even begins to compare him to Suguru...
“Have I told you how beautiful you are, especially in that dress?” Satoru whispers near your ear, his voice low and warm.
“No,” you murmur, dazed by his hand resting on your lower back, his thumb making gentle circles.
Satoru leans in and his lips brush against yours. “May I?”
You nod, aware of what’s to come as his lips slowly capture yours in a soft, needy kiss. Your lips respond immediately, and Satoru’s two hands join behind your back to guide you into a room that looks like a luxurious bedroom.
Without breaking the kiss with its wet sounds, your back meets the soft surface of a mattress, and you’re already panting. You know that with him, you won’t regret doing anything.
Satoru’s heavy breathing moves away from your pink, swollen lips to approach your bare collarbone and kiss it with those same lips. With his hand gently caressing the back of your thigh, which you lift and drape around his waist, Satoru uses his nimble fingers to slide down the thin strap of your dress. Your chest rises and falls with the sensual tension descending upon you. Your fingers help him lower your dress, first revealing your bare breasts, and a flush colors your face.
“Beautiful, sweetheart,” he purrs in your ear, taking pleasure in depositing a line of soft, affectionate kisses along your neck and down to your chest. Satoru stretches his lips into a smile against your skin and lightly touches the swell of your breasts. He takes one nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.
A moan escapes you, and you arch your hips to rub against him desperately. His bulge becomes more prominent and presses against your own underwear, adding friction that makes your core sensitive. “Satoru…” you pant softly, stroking his snow-white hair as he lavishes your breasts with wet kisses. “More…”
He grins and returns to your lips, whispering “Adorable…” while sliding your dress down further.
But the door to the room suddenly opens, revealing a frozen Suguru standing before the scene. You and Satoru immediately turn your heads toward the intruder and pull away from each other abruptly.
But it’s already too late, as neither of you have time to say a word before Suguru turns and leaves as quickly as he arrived, his face as pale as a sheet.
An unusual pang tightens in your chest, and you sit up from the bed, overwhelmed by a sense of guilt. But why? Why feel this way?
You sigh, and Satoru shakes his head. “He won’t say anything,” he reassures you, reaching out a hand to stroke your cheek.
You don’t push him away, but he understands that you wouldn’t want to go any further with him tonight.
°°°°
“Here… Lift your chin…” Suguru takes a photo with a sharp click. “Perfect…” he murmurs to himself, his tone filled with admiration.
Sitting on the floor of Suguru’s photography studio in yet another outfit from the luxury brand partner, you give him a profile shot, your chin lifted in a dreamlike expression of devotion. For another photo, you lie on your side, your eyes fixed directly on the lens.
Suguru, for his part, doesn’t hesitate to give his best effort to capture the most beautiful photos he’s ever taken in his career. He insisted on handling it personally — despite what happened less than two days ago at Satoru’s reception. He even came up with an idea to make up for the consequences of his delay with the magazine published for all the participating Fashion Week troupes in New York. The scandal over your absence, despite being one of the featured models, had shaken most social media, and indeed, enough for Suguru to come up with a plan that would do justice to you.
What better way than to discuss with the luxury brand partner to release an entire magazine featuring you as the sole model? You would showcase the clothes that weren’t worn due to the lack of time. The success and attention would be all focused on you — spotlights fixed on you.
Because you deserve it.
No matter how long it takes Suguru.
He vowed to do everything to make amends.
So that’s why you find yourself alone in the studio with him, posing in outfits that shake him so much that he’s suggested taking a break twice to calm his trembling hands.
Two days later, the magazine is finally out, with you as the star, once again shaking up social media and causing a wave of appreciation from fans. At your finest, every page shows only you.
You, the heart’s desire of Suguru Geto.
“Have you seen the reactions?” Suguru asks as he approaches you while you’re busy admiring the sky and the skyscrapers from one of the agency’s balconies. Suguru slides the glass door closed and joins you. “Am I bothering you?”
You sigh.
“Come on, at least thank me for doing such a good job. You look stunning in all the photos.” He has a smirk and nudges you in the ribs as he leans his forearms on the glass railing. “And you always have been.”
You give a subtle smile but don’t immediately respond. You leave a small silence between the two of you. For the first time in years, Suguru’s presence doesn’t bother you as much.
“Thanks, I suppose,” you murmur. Without looking at him, you continue, “It’s nice of you to do this.”
“I did it for you,” Suguru breathes, his heart tight.
You nod. Lately, it feels like you don’t quite know how to react. All these compliments, the fact that he hasn’t changed his behavior after catching you with Satoru (he’s even become even more gentle)... It’s a lot to take in.
You eventually clear your throat. “Well, I think—”
“Wait.” He turns his head toward you. “Please.”
The note of pleading is the only detail that brings your feet back to the railing.
He lets a light silence linger, not saying a word. A breeze brushes both your faces, like cool water on a tired face.
Perhaps it’s this that makes Suguru speak up, saying your name.
“You’ve become someone since then,” he whispers with a faint smile. “I’m proud of you.” And oh, how you wish you could erase the blush spreading across your cheeks! “I don’t want to pretend like nothing happened anymore.” He turns fully toward you, the wind whipping his long raven hair and his obsidian eyes scrutinizing you. “I haven’t forgotten you. I’ve never forgotten you, actually.”
His sudden declaration catches you off guard. Why is he saying this? You already knew it. And your behavior towards him gives an unspoken response. You simply turn your head towards him without moving your body, with a forced nonchalance. He mustn’t see what he still evokes in you after all these years.
“Not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you. I know I hurt you, and coming back now is probably not the best way — especially after I pushed you away.” He takes a step towards you. “And I want to win you back.” You prepare to retort, eyes narrowing, but he cuts you off immediately. “I know. And it’s not because you’ve become a famous model. Far from it.”
He repeats your name once again.
But this time, his tone is different.
His voice returns to what it was so long ago. The voice he used to whisper in your ear in bed, when you were standing in a supermarket line, and on the phone.
The thorny brambles of your heart wrap painfully around you, reminding you of what he became later.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
Your lips press together, and you start to pull away from the glass railing.
“Give me a second chance, I—”
“No. There’s no point.”
Your steps move closer to the glass door, but Suguru grabs your hand.
“Please, let me at least explain—”
And your hand tears away from his grasp with an insensitivity hidden beneath its opposite in your heart. “We were perfect, Geto. Incredibly perfect. But now, I really wonder if you ever truly loved me,” you admit without any warmth.
“I did, and I still—”
“No. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been increasingly distant, avoiding our dates as your career took up more and more of your life.” You take a trembling breath meant to chase away the tears from your eyes, but it’s in vain. Your voice quivers. “At least you didn’t give up on your dreams for someone. Even less for love. And for a love that only brought you pain after it left you…”
“Love,” Suguru pleads in a heart-wrenching whisper. He takes another step towards you, arms outstretched, but you shake your head.
“But at least, I can thank you for what I’ve become today. I’ve become the person that little me always dreamed of being. Thanks to your departure from my life.”
The words slap and scratch him violently.
You turn on your heels and open the glass door, casting one last glance back at him, tears streaming down your face, smearing your mascara.
“So don’t ruin it all.”
°°°°
As scheduled, the private jet successfully dropped Suguru’s entire troupe at a New York airport less than a week before Fashion Week, where a luxurious van awaited your arrival. As soon as you stepped inside, fuchsia purple LEDs assaulted your eyes, and a multitude of leather seats were lined against the vehicle’s walls. At the very back, there was a mini-bar stocked with alcoholic beverages and spaces near the seats featuring multifunctional drawers: a retractable coffee machine, a selection of accessories and makeup products, as well as blankets, sleep masks, and other handy items. Near the driver, who greeted the troupe with a nod, a tablet fixed to the wall allowed you to change the background music at will.
Without delay, everyone rushed to the seats and chatted merrily over drinks and snacks as the journey finally began. All the models’ assistants were allowed to join the trip, which meant you found yourself laughing with Nobara about the different shades of blush provided in one of the drawers.
She took out her phone and suggested doing an Instagram story, which you accepted without hesitation. You were soon joined by the others, and a group photo was taken by Suguru. To your great surprise, you participated with a small pose. It was also posted on Suguru’s agency’s Instagram, and Nobara quickly showed you the reactions. For the past three weeks, she has almost been gushing on your behalf over the wave of positive responses you received following your appearance in the latest leading fashion magazine in the United States — even despite the success that Satoru Gojo’s own troupe has also enjoyed.
But it has also been three weeks since you last spoke to Suguru following your conversation with him. Throughout the journey to the hotel — where you will stay with your troupe for the rest of Fashion Week until its end — you couldn’t help but have unintentional eye contact. Fortunately for you, he didn’t make any attempts, and somehow, you would have liked to have Suguru in your life once more — just one last time.
But your bitter past with him still haunts your dreams, so that’s out of the question.
A few hours later, the van drops the troupe off in front of the famous hotel, but to everyone’s great surprise, a crowd is packed around the entrance. Security is pushing back some people protesting that they’ve been queuing for hours, and Suguru steps outside to observe what’s happening.
“They were right. The hotel is packed.” Of course, all due to Fashion Week taking place just a few kilometers away. Celebrities, high society, and tourists alike, the gigantic hotel promises not to be easy for the model troupe and Suguru himself. He signals the driver, who contacts security agents and bodyguards via his walkie-talkie to approach the van so that the troupe can either queue or simply navigate through the crowd.
So, with further delays and heightened security, a decision was made regarding the group: it was divided into several smaller groups so everyone could pass without issues. Some models have already gone to the reception and are enjoying their rooms, while you find yourself paired with…
…Suguru.
And last in line.
Neither of you speaks a word, and you are engrossed in your phone, trying your best to ignore him. On the other side, your assistant with ginger hair, Nobara, has asked if it bothers you that she takes a trip to do some shopping in New York— a rare opportunity for the young woman. How could you refuse her? How could you say that you don’t want to be alone with Suguru, even if it’s for the sake of organization? Being stuck in a line with him is uncomfortable?
You finally sigh in relief when your turn comes after forty minutes of waiting while other customers check in.
Bodyguards step aside, both of your luggage in their arms, waiting for a word from you.
The receptionist clears her throat and squints at the screen of his computer. “I apologize, but... I think there’s a reservation issue with your rooms.”
“What do you mean?” Suguru and you ask in unison.
“Um... There’s only one room reserved for both of you.”
The response hits your ears like thunder. You blink, the embarrassment of the situation rising to your cheeks. You don’t even dare to glance at Suguru. “Then book me another room,” you request in a measured tone.
The receptionist discreetly elbows her colleague, who looks up at you. “I— Miss, you are the last guest with Mr. Geto for the coming weeks, and there are no more rooms available…”
For the next five minutes, you try every possible way to avoid being alone in a single room with Suguru. But it’s in vain, as you end up in the infamous room with the receptionists offering a myriad of apologies, blaming their oversight regarding the reservation.
In the room, you stand, boiling with anger as the bodyguards set down your luggage and leave. One of the women tries to divert your attention from your ready-to-explode gaze by pointing out an undisturbed sofa — of course — where one of you might sleep.
But a single glance is enough to see that even your own feet wouldn’t rest on it. The receptionists leave the room in their little heels, and you sit on the firm sofa. You grimace and massage your temples while Suguru has not said a word since entering the room.
He takes a few steps towards the bed and places a hand on the mattress, so soft and comfortable that his fingers almost sink into it. “You can take the bed if you want,” Suguru offers with a calm and kindness that makes you grit your teeth. “I can take the sofa.”
Your body is in such turmoil that if you stay one more second in the room with him, you might explode — literally. So, you don’t respond and rush to your luggage, driven by the need for space. You pull out some comfortable clothes and retreat to the bathroom.
A small sigh of exasperation from the main room still reaches your ears.
You lock yourself in and collapse on the floor, groaning with frustration.
Damn it.
Why does this only happen to you?
If a shower seems to have calmed your nerves a bit, you would have preferred not to have decided to shower right away because, barely dressed in a loose t-shirt and pajama shorts, hotel staff members are gathered around the sofa and start carrying it out of the room.
In shock at the realization of the situation, you call out to them. “Hey! We need that sofa!”
One of them turns his head towards you nonchalantly. “There’s been another reservation issue. We need this sofa for others in a much more urgent situation than yours, miss.” He adjusts his hat as a gesture of apology and leaves the room as if nothing happened, taking with him the only thing that provided a slim chance of escape — however slim — to avoid Suguru.
Suguru stands there, arms hanging, too stunned by what’s happening to react. He blinks several times without saying a word.
This is all just a nightmare.
°°°°
“I’m not going to break my back sleeping on the floor, and neither will you. Or is that what you want?” Suguru nearly barks as he slips under the covers.
“There’s no way I’m sharing a bed with you!” you retort in the same tone, arms crossed over your chest.
“Stop being so prissy for two minutes, will you? It’s not like we haven’t done this thousands of times before.” He rolls his eyes and finally lies down.
The comment hits your chest like a sharp arrow. The already horrifically awkward situation combined with Suguru’s reasonable demeanor, which only seems to make things worse, makes you look simply ridiculous for not cooperating out of pride.
So, you find yourself under the covers, forcing as much space as possible between you and Suguru, trying to stay as far away as you can. Both of you have turned your backs to each other, nerves too frayed to say anything without igniting yet another argument.
But Suguru closes his eyes with a smile on his lips that night, noting in the back of his mind to thank Nobara as soon as he has the chance for agreeing to his ridiculous plan of deliberately booking a single room for both of you.
°°°°
That night, your sleep is much more restless than usual. You have sleep troubles, but this night they seem to intensify despite your peaceful breathing, which Suguru uses as a lullaby to fall asleep. You toss and turn from time to time, with your leg carelessly hanging out of the bed or an arm too close to him. A dangerous position where you might easily slip off and fall.
When Suguru feels the sheets pulling away from him as he’s about to fall asleep, he turns around and catches you just before you fall. With a pounding heart, he pulls you a little closer to him and finally lets you go.
Unaware in your sleep, you roll towards him and your fingers cling almost desperately to his t-shirt. He freezes and doesn’t dare move, hoping you won’t wake up so he can extricate himself from the embrace you’ve claimed. Your arms drape around his shoulders and your legs seek to wrap around him like a koala.
“Sugu…” you murmur in your sleep. Your face contorts into a small frown.
His nickname is a purr to him. He’s tempted to push you away, but your slight frown, seeking comfort, makes him relent, and he holds you completely in his arms. Your nose nestles into the crook of his neck and you hum before letting out a small snore.
Maybe Suguru is dreaming — amidst the dim light of the room and your two blurred bodies. Nevertheless, he rocks you gently in his arms, holding the most precious thing to him close.
°°°°
Your dream continues where you’re alone, nestled in your bed — yes, it must be that. Finding yourself in the same bed as your ex is just a nightmare.
Or maybe a dream.
Warm, sweet whispers envelop you in a comforting embrace.
“Forgive me, love. I’m sorry… I love you so much.”
These distant words soothe you enough when your sleep is half-awake, with Suguru’s body and voice surrounding you. You should push him away, but everything around you feels so dreamlike. So why not give in for once when you can’t in real life? After all, it’s just a dream for one night.
Nothing can happen to you.
Especially at a moment when your heart wants to accept these pleading whispers of forgiveness that will probably never happen in real life.
°°°°
A warm ray of sunlight tickles your cheek, and you hum as you bury your head against something firm and comfortable that envelops you. Arms rub your back, and you smile, deciding to give in to the warm embrace. Something places a gentle kiss on your temple, encouraging you to stay in bed a little longer.
Before a knock at the door jolts you from your comfort.
Nobara’s voice is heard from the other side. “Are you awake?” she asks out loud. “Almost everyone is already ready!”
You open your eyes at the same time as Suguru, and your noses almost touch. It’s a close call not to scream and almost jump out of your spot. Dazed and still groggy from sleep, neither of you says a word, only muttering a few curses about the alarm not going off.
You rush to do your makeup and put on your outfit, as by 11 a.m., at the very place where the last preparations for the show will be made, hundreds of fans, journalists, and paparazzi will be lined up behind barriers or security ropes, shouting for autographs or even a smile. So there’s no time to waste; you need to cover your tomato-red complexion with foundation.
Downstairs in the hotel, the rest of the crew is waiting for both of you, and others arrive at the last minute — some even with their poodles. To your great relief, no one seems to suspect anything about Suguru, whom you carefully avoid even after arriving at the Fashion Week preparation area.
As you step out of the black sedan, piercing fan screams ring out, eagerly waiting for you to approach them: banners with names written in capital letters, notebooks, and hands outstretched almost desperately.
On the red carpet and under the bright morning sun, female fans call out your name, and you turn with a smile to approach them behind the security barrier. You spend about ten minutes taking selfies and signing autographs with the rest of the crew until one girl, after you’ve signed her autograph, speaks to you again. “It’s incredible that you’re working with Suguru Geto! I never thought I’d see this day, so I’ll be here to watch you walk the runway!” she exclaims with stars in her eyes.
Your smile freezes at the mention of Suguru, as you’re constantly reminded that no one but you and Suguru know what happened between you two. You swallow and regain your composure. “Oh, honey, you’re adorable. I’m glad you’re coming. I hope we’ll run into each other again.” You then give her a final wink and rejoin your group.
Nobara catches up with you a few minutes later in your dressing room with a smile and quietly closes the door. You collapse onto a couch and sigh, hiding your face in your hands.
°°°°
“You’ve measured me before.”
“I lost them.”
“Liar.”
Suguru lets out a small laugh and grabs his measuring tape before approaching you. “It’s just my job, love.”
“You’re playing around,” you accuse with a pout, and he kneels in front of you to measure your legs and waist.
His movements are precise, slow, meticulous, and attentive. Even his gaze doesn’t fall inappropriately on you, a look of respect filling his entire being, guiding him gently with that eternal mischievous smile that reminds you of Satoru’s.
“Don’t give me that pout, now,” Suguru whispers as he stands up with a sigh.
Today, he’s wearing a simple white shirt under a pair of black pants and a matching blazer — perfectly tailored, of course. An unfair perfection. Among all the exes you could have had in your life, it had to be Suguru Geto—the man with a beauty almost impossible to rival, and who clearly shows a refusal to let you go. And the worst is the still-fresh memory from the night before with the image of a half-asleep Suguru against you — you in his arms. If you loathe yourself for what happened, why does his embrace comfort you so much? If you truly hate Suguru, why do you show such weak resistance to both his gentlemanly behavior and his irresistible charm?
“And there we go,” Suguru announces softly with his notepad in hand. “Lovely as always,” he adds with his eternal smile. “Hey!” You punch him in the bicep, and he steps back, laughing.
“Don’t mess with me,” you grumble, still pouting.
When was the last time this kind of situation happened?
When you two were still together.
And is forgiving him a good idea after all?
“I wasn’t messing with you, love,” Suguru replies quietly. He locks his eyes with yours to capture all your attention. “You’ve always been beautiful. And that will never change, even if you turn into a slug.” He grins at your comical look of disgust.
"A slug? You’d still choose me even if I were a slug?" you repeat, not convinced at all by his promises.
Suguru scoffs and moves closer, facing you directly. “No matter what you are in any lifetime, it will always be you that I choose, again and again.” He slowly lifts his hand and places it on your cheek. His thumb caresses your cheekbone, and your guard weakens. His words, spoken with sincere tone, float like clouds in the dressing room-turned-sewing workshop.
You remain as vulnerable with Suguru Geto — despite years of building a fortress to avoid falling back into the state you were in years ago. Yet, you are in a massive denial, giving a semblance of change in your life. You haven’t erased all feelings for Suguru. You’ve simply buried them in a corner of your heart and forgotten where—neglecting the risk they might resurface someday.
You look up at him, your lower lip trembling. “Then why didn’t you in this one?”
The question seems to catch him off guard, as his lips part and an equally vulnerable look appears on his face. He’s about to respond when someone knocks on the door.
“Mr. Geto? Are you finished?” Manami’s voice calls from the other side, sounding slightly concerned.
You both immediately step away from each other, and the tension between you dissipates, replaced by the usual coldness.
Suguru clears his throat, runs a tired hand over his face, and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Uh, yeah, yeah. You can come in, Manami.”
°°°°
Less than two hours before the main moment, you are practicing breathing exercises to calm the stress of a runway show. You’re wearing one of the luxurious outfits designed by Suguru himself, and if that alone isn’t overwhelming enough, an invisible vise is tightening around your chest, making your breathing heavy and your lungs congested.
You grimace at the sensation and groan as your heart beats more erratically than expected, and tremors run through your limbs. You can’t have a panic attack now.
No.
Not when Nobara isn’t by your side to help you relax.
Staying locked in a stuffy dressing room won’t help, but the very idea of stepping outside paralyzes you. You need to wait patiently for the makeup artists to finalize your look, and it only makes you more impatient and on edge.
Someone knocks at your door and asks to enter.
Suguru.
You open your mouth to utter even a sound, but anxiety wraps around your throat and chokes you. You gasp for air, your hands sweaty and cold, slipping from the back of the chair you’re clinging to, and you collapse to the floor.
The noise is enough for the door to burst open, and Suguru rushes in, dropping to one knee and taking you into his arms.
“Love, what’s happening?” Suguru murmurs as you cling to him as if your life depends on it.
The panic attack gradually overwhelms you, and you start crying in front of him. Thank God your face is only covered with skincare, but tears are streaming down your cheeks, mingling with your grimace and your difficulty breathing.
“I…” Then a hiccup takes over. You try to inhale, but as soon as your lungs fill, the air cuts off and doesn’t pass through. You keep trying, but all you manage is to cry without stopping.
Suguru frowns. “You… Wait.” He slides one arm under your knees and back to lift you easily and place you on a sofa. “It’s going to be okay, my love… Everything will be fine… Do the same thing I do.”
You sniffle and wipe your eyes to prevent the blurred vision from making it even harder to see Suguru helping you. He places his hand on his chest and does the same for you. “I’ll count to three and you breathe in very slowly, okay? Same for exhaling,” he murmurs with all tenderness and patience. His chest rises slowly in sync after he counts to three. The air flows more smoothly now. Encouraged by this, he smiles and holds his breath. He nods for you to do the same, intertwining your fingers with his and exhaling at the same slow pace. The icy air leaves your lungs at the same time as your racing heartbeats.
For the next five minutes, a silence punctuated by controlled, rhythmic breathing fills the dressing room. You eventually manage to regain a normal breath and quell your panic attack, leaving only a few residual hiccups.
Suguru leans toward you and kisses your sweaty forehead. With your still-trembling arms, you grip his to keep him close and draw him against you, the tip of his nose brushing against your neck. The unexpected action makes him freeze, and up close, you can see goosebumps spreading over his skin. With hesitant movements towards each other, you both hold each other gently in a comforting embrace.
“Suguru…” you whisper, your voice hoarse from the recent panic attack. You take the opportunity to bury your head in the crook of his neck.
He immediately welcomes your touch and affectionately kisses your cheek. “I love you, love. Do you feel better?”
His affirmation reaches your heart so strongly that, once again, tears well up and you force yourself to blink them away. Suguru notices and a worried crease forms between his eyebrows. For a moment, his chest against yours allows you to feel his racing heart. “You—”
“I’m better,” you interrupt weakly. “Thank you…”
He sighs in relief and gently caresses your hair absentmindedly. His fingers weave skillfully through your strands, bringing back a memory that hits you hard: him comforting you for various reasons when you were together, that same hand resting and caressing the same spot on your head. So for once in years, you let yourself indulge in this nostalgic feeling without pushing it away.
However, you can’t prevent a burning question from crossing your lips. “You love me?”
Suguru reacts immediately. He carefully pulls away from you and helps you sit up on the sofa, wiping the dried tears from your beautiful cheeks. He smiles at your flushed face and bloodshot eyes. “Of course I love you. I’ve told you. I’m sorry, and even if you don’t accept it, I’ll do everything to make you forgive me.” He kneels in front of you. “I didn’t want to break up with you because it would have broken my heart, so when I saw that my career was starting to affect our relationship and I couldn’t take care of you as you deserved, I thought it would hurt less if I let you detach from me.” His shoulders shake with a sigh. “Forgive me, my love. I want to make amends and—”
“But why a second chance when the first one didn’t work?”
“Because we’re too stubborn, love.”
His words, spoken with such sincerity, reach your heart directly.
You take his face in your hands and press your lips against his. Suguru gasps slightly in surprise but quickly follows your lead, his hesitant hands sliding to your waist to deepen the contact.
Fuck.
How he missed you…
With every kiss, you reclaim Suguru’s lips as if one moment without them would take away your life. They are so soft and warm, as alluring as they are addictive, making it almost impossible for your body to pull away from him. It’s only when you feel that time seems to be passing a bit too quickly that you finally pull away from him.
“I…” A semi-horrified expression pulls at your face as you’ve just initiated a kiss with your ex—the one you’ve been avoiding for months. You shake your head and back away, stammering, “Sorry… That was a mistake, I—”
Suguru utters your name in a pleading tone. “Please… I’m begging you. Give me another chance. I only need one word. One word, and I’ll stay. One word, and I’ll leave and never come back to your life.”
“You…” If you’ve never been short of sharp retorts for Suguru, today is a new experience.
One word from you, and Suguru will accept your choice. For any other ex you might have had, you wouldn’t have even attempted to participate or do anything that involved them. But with Suguru…
“S-Stay…” you murmur in a broken voice, almost throwing yourself into his arms. He wraps you in his embrace and rocks you, his breath quick. “Stay, Suguru…” You break down, tears returning with a vengeance, flooding your face.
“I love you, sweetheart. Forgive me…” And he continues to repeat these words until someone else knocks on the door.
He prepares to pull away, but you hold him back, not wanting him to leave you once more. With a swift move, he crouches and rests his forehead against yours. “I have to go. You’re going to do great. I have no doubt, and you have no reason not to, understood?” His breath, as warm as his hands around your head, brushes your nose, and you sniffle one last time, nodding. “You’ll be perfect. I’ll watch and wait for you at the show. You’re going to shine.”
°°°°
The lights in the hall dim, plunging the audience into darkness. A bright spotlight illuminates the runway as the music begins to resonate throughout the fashion studio, amplified by the speakers.
“Here we go… In three… two… one…” Manami makes a frantic arm gesture to signal the lineup of models to step onto the runway.
The first model makes her entrance, wearing a spectacular outfit that instantly captivates the audience, with audible “oooohs!” reaching even backstage where you await your turn with a suffocating pressure. You are among the last to walk, but the distinct sound of heels clicking in rhythm with your heartbeat still reaches your ears.
But there is no room for panic now that you no longer carry the weight of your past relationship with Suguru.
He will be there to admire and reassure you from afar.
Manami gives a final signal and your lineup thins, giving you the space needed to step onto the stage.
The outfits parade down the runway, each one more impressive than the last. The theme of the collection is clear: dark silhouettes adorned with sequins and stars, reminiscent of a starry night sky. Your own outfit, the centerpiece of the collection, is bound to captivate the awed spectators. The black, sparkling dress catches the light with every step, creating an illusion of a moving firmament. Murmurs of admiration fill the room first, followed by camera clicks and cheers as you appear at the first quarter of the runway.
Taking a deep breath, your heels glide as elegantly as ever down the runway. One foot in front of the other, the sole firmly planted but almost silently advancing on the runway, chin up, and a neutral expression on your face; if anyone had never heard of your modeling career, your impression answers immediately.
Your hips sway slightly from side to side in the same entrancing rhythm as the powerful beat of the music, giving an unmatched grace to your walk. Reaching the end of the runway, your gaze falls on the front row where recognizable men have their eyes fixed on you, feeling the palpable energy of the room.
The scene lasts only a second, but it feels like an eternity.
Satoru Gojo, with a smirk, hands in the pockets of his dark stylist suit, stands with his legs spread in a posture highly unflattering for a personality like his. But then again, he exudes a carefree attitude, so who would be shocked? You manage to keep your mouth from stretching into a smile thanks to Suguru Geto, whose eyes are glued to you. His obsidian irises shine with admiration, professionalism, and also pride. He gives you a knowing wink that sends a warm, pleasant wave through every corner of your abdomen.
You snap out of your trance and pause, striking an elegant pose under the camera flashes before gracefully turning around. The shimmering fabric of your dress captures the lights with every movement, creating a shower of stars around you.
As you return backstage, the music shifts, signaling the grand finale. The crowd is buzzing, applauding enthusiastically as the spotlights sweep across the stage to accentuate the dramatic effect of the starry collection. The show comes to an end several minutes later, and you notice the applause intensifying. Suguru seems to have taken the stage and begun speaking — his voice reaching every ear — and you listen intently near your pairs.
“Thank you all for coming tonight. This collection has been a true labor of love, and I am honored to share it with you. Thank you also to all the wonderful people who made this possible, especially our incredible models,” Suguru declares, a wave of shared pride resonating through his speech.
The applause erupts once more, louder than ever.
°°°°
“Really?” you murmur softly, the tone as warm as Suguru’s hand on your hip. “If I did so well in the show, don’t I deserve a reward?”
He kneels in front of you, sliding his large hands along your thighs. “So beautiful, so magnificent…” Suguru continues to whisper as if in a prayer. “I love you… Ruin me… Use me and hurt me, love…” he pleads before placing a long, sweet kiss on your inner thigh.
The effect sends waves of goosebumps across your body, and desire burns in your eyes as you lower them to your desperate lover.
What better place to want to fuck your ex than during a festive reception hosted by Satoru Gojo, in one of the luxurious corridors of his many mansions? The same heavy, thick, velvet burgundy curtains brush against your back as he nuzzles between your legs like a little boy.
The gesture might seem funny and cute, but not when he slides his head under your evening dress and presses his nose against your panties. You gasp in surprise and place your hands on his head. “Sugu… Not here…” you whisper, alarmed.
He grumbles like a displeased child, the vibration of his voice against your core increasing your sensitivity. “You— Ah…” you moan as he plants a kiss on your already swollen clit.
“I love you, sweetheart… I love you so much…” Suguru keeps repeating these words that make you melt. He shifts your underwear with his index finger, finally gaining access to your core. He starts with a chaste kiss on your damp folds and hums in contentment, as he catches the first drop of your juices. “Tastes s’good, baby…”
Your moans intensify under his agile tongue as it licks and laps at your swollen, wet folds. Your teeth sink into your lower lip, forcing you to gasp. “Suguru…” You groan as he focuses on your throbbing bundle of nerves this time. He gently sucks on it, coaxing more juices from you, and this has the effect of drawing whimpers from your lips. If you were already struggling like mad to keep quiet, Suguru always loves to tease you and he gently inserts a finger into you. Your walls clench around it as if afraid he might pull it out. Unfortunately, pleasure comes far too quickly. With only a few long, slow thrusts inside you, your fingers find their way into his dark strands. “I’m going to—”
“Cum for me, my love,” he murmurs between flicks of his tongue.
You pray that no one can see or hear you, letting the knot in your stomach that was holding back your orgasm finally release. It bursts onto Suguru’s mouth, who doesn’t waste a single second in collecting your juices until the last drop, all while you moan in pleasure.
He finally pulls his hands and head from under your dress, panting in the same ragged rhythm as you, a satisfied smile on his lips. “I love you,” he murmurs for the umpteenth time.
A slightly exhausted smile from the intense sensation lights up your face, and before you can even respond, Suguru scoops you into his arms and nearly runs to one of the luxurious bedrooms in the Gojo mansion.
He locks the door and gently lays you on the mattress. Within seconds, you take charge, removing Suguru’s pants and teasing his bulge with the tips of your fingers. You smile mischievously and giggle.
Suguru shivers at your touch and props himself up on his elbows, weak as he is for you. “Sweetheart—” But you catch him off guard by pulling down his boxer, exposing his twitching erection. “Oh God…” He almost rolls his eyes as your hand administers a few gentle strokes. “I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…” he repeats in a plea in the dim light of the room.
Your fingers wrap around his base as you lower your head just to kiss his sensitive, reddened tip. “What, baby? Is it too much for you? You’re already so hard f’me…” And he doesn’t have time to protest as you go slowly, for he might not last. He smiles slyly as you lick the bead of pre-cum that escapes his length.
“Damn, princess… I’m not gonna last…” he hisses, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. He lets out a sigh, his muscles tensing under your hands. You run a thick band with the flat of your tongue along his dick, and he grits his teeth. “Tease…”
You raise an eyebrow. “Oh really? Let’s see about that…” Your lips part around him, taking him fully into your mouth. As soon as his tip hits the back of your throat, he lets out a groan. “Sorry…”
Your hands slip to graze his balls and caress his thighs. With a motion of your head, you suck him, your tongue swirling around his tip and veins. “Love, I—” And with a twitch of his cock, he signals that he’s about to cum. He shudders and groans, moaning your name. His cheeks flush, and you take the opportunity to tease him. He gives in and lets his release paint your mouth white. Without wasting any time, you swallow the warm substance and pull his cock from your mouth, a string of saliva mixed with his cum linking your lips to him.. The sight of your lover in a messy, submissive state sends a shiver down your own spine.
He regains his breath, rising onto his knees, unuttons his white shirt, and tosses it into a corner at the foot of the bed. Suguru’s hands settle on your hips, pulling at the fabric to undress you completely. Your panties are just as damp as when he ate you out. Your bra quickly joins his discarded clothing, and he seals his lips with yours as if it’s the last thing he needs to do in his life. He gently flips you onto your back on the bed.
Your hands move sensually across his chest to settle on his shoulders, maintaining a grip, while Suguru’s hands grasp the back of your thighs and slowly detach his lips to press them against the side of your neck where your pulse races. He marks a hickey in that exact spot and revels in the moan you produce.
“Suguru, please… I need you…” you plead into his ear, you aching clit grazing his hard cock, and he clenches his jaw to avoid holding you too tightly in his arms. Hasn’t he dreamed for years of having you like this, in his arms, begging him to please you?
“Anthing for my princess,” he coos, his lips curling. Gently, he wraps your legs around his waist and maintains eye contact with you. One of his hands grabs his dick and teases your needy cunt with the tip to collect droplets of your wetness. “Still so wet?” Then your blush is enough to make him burst into laughter. You pout, and he purrs. “Awww… I’m going to give you what you want…”
With utmost care, his tip parts your folds and slowly pushes into you, finding its way deep inside your hot, dripping pussy. Breathing between his teeth, Suguru closes his eyes for a moment and hisses. “Damn, you’re so fucking tight…” He pants for a few seconds before resuming his movements as you moan for him to go further. “Fuck, princess… taking me so well… Like you were made for me since start…”
“Suguru…” You moan, your nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders. The pressure his cock exerts makes it hard for your pussy not to react and tighten with each of his slow thrusts as you adjust. “That’s it, my love… You’re doing so well…” He whispers in your ear. His hands grip your hips, helping you find the right space for both of you as he sinks into you, your pretty walls clenching around him deliciously. He lets out a whimper of your name and hits that sweet spot deep inside, making you twitch beneath him.
"Again… Please… Sugu—” But another sound of pleasure escapes you as he slowly increases his pace inside you. His length twitches between your gummy, tight walls. “So deep… So good…” you murmur with a pleasure-filled wince. “I love you… I love you…”
Words hit Suguru like a punch to the stomach, and he almost has tears in his eyes. He doesn’t stop bucking his hips into you and nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck. “Baby…” you whisper, your fingers tangled in his hair, pleasure all for you now. He nods, and his hand snakes to your clit, rubbing it in circles. “Suguru… I’m close…” you squeal as he continues to pound into you until you see stars and your cunt contracts around his length, your toes curling.
His seed paints your walls white, a warm, gentle sensation spreading through your lower abdomen, Suguru groaning into your neck, his teeth biting into the flesh of your trapezius. He slightly lifts his head, panting heavily, and presses his lips to your ear. “I don’t want to see you on anyone else’s arm, okay? Not even Satoru.”
You nod and giggle, trying to catch your breath, your eyelids closed and exhausted from the aftermath of intense pleasure. “Jealous, hmm?”
“Yes. And very possessive, love,” he affirms in a strained voice. “Will you forgive me?” he adds with a glimmer of doubt in his eyes. He withdraws from you and lies down beside you, attentive to any signs of discomfort.
“For a long time, Suguru,” you affirm, yawning.
“Oh.” He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Can I ask since when?”
“Since the hotel.”
Suguru buries his head between your bare breasts and closes his eyes with a sigh. “I see. I owe that to Nobara. What do you think would make her happy?” he asks in a casual tone.
Suddenly, it’s like gears are turning in your brain, and your fingers, which were caressing his hair moments ago, freeze.
“WHAT?”
And Suguru’s laughter echoes throughout the room.
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a/n: finally! i'm relieved that i've finished this fic (promised from far months now...) well, i hope you'll enjoy it! <3
tags: @ssetsuka @zara-zara11 @bearwithmoo @alwaysfreakingout @mutsu422 @lymsfm
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lostfracturess · 1 year ago
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symptoms and causes | ch. 01
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ღ pairing professor gojo x med student reader
ღ summary he's arrogant, self-centered, and he's your professor. renowned for his brilliance in neurosurgery and infamous for his allure. too bad you have to work with him on this research team. now you're stuck with dr. satoru gojo, delving into the complexities of both the brain and the heart—and of how far you'd go for a love that could destroy not only him but you as well.
ღ wc 13.1 k
ღ warnings [18+] this story contains substance abuse/addiction, (rough) smut, mature themes, self-destructive behavior, (heavy) angst, mentions of death / illness / blood / abuse, graphic medical procedures. reader discretion is advised.
ღ author's note so exited to start this series!! dive in and let me know what you think—i love hearing your thoughts! & pls like or repost if you enjoyed, it means the world !! ♡ (fanart in the header)
series masterlist + playlist + ao3 + wattpad
next chapter ->
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"Who's that?"
Every gaze in the room turned towards you.
"She's my student—," Dr. Geto responded, a trace of amusement twisting his lip. He didn't have to follow Dr. Gojo's stare to know its target. "—a first-year medical student."
A murmur rippled through the group of students, their eyes stinging like needles in your neck. You were acutely aware of your position—the youngest, the least experienced, an outsider among those who had studied for years.
"What?" Gojo's voice sliced through the air. He turned his scrutinizing gaze towards Geto. "You brought a fucking first-year into my operating room?"
Ouch.
Geto chuckled. "Relax, Satoru. She's good."
Gojo's expression tightened. He turned back to you, those unnervingly bright blue eyes raking over you from behind his surgical glasses. It made your skin crawl. "You, first-year. Bypass, endovascular, or direct microsurgical approach?"
The air in the operating room was thick.
Dr. Geto and Dr. Gojo had been circling the issue for at least half an hour, dissecting strategies as if the patient weren't laid skull open before them, the aneurysm a ticking time bomb in the patient's brain.
None of the students dared to move, too terrified to even breathe. It was a test. But hesitation wasn't in your vocabulary.
"You should do a hybrid approach. Start with endovascular coiling to reduce the risk of rupture. Parallel prep for a bypass, using intraoperative Doppler for flow assessment. Stabilize, then microsurgical clipping. Definitive closure."
Silence filled the room. Somehow the eyes of the other students stinging even more now. Your boldness given such a complex situation was either brilliance or audacity—perhaps both.
Geto's laughter broke the tension. "I might've forgotten to mention—she's my best student."
Gojo's gaze lingered on you, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. "That's some complex shit you suggest. The endovascular coiling has to be precise to reduce the risk of aneurysm rupture, and then we switch to microsurgery in an already compromised field."
"Complex, yes, but you have no other choice. The endovascular phase provides stabilization, making the surgical field less treacherous for clipping," you countered.
"And the risk of thrombosis?" Gojo pressed.
"Could happen."
"Could happen?" Gojo repeated. "That's your statement on that?"
"It's either the hybrid approach, or the patient is dead anyway," you said, maintaining his unyielding gaze.
"Is this woman serious?" Gojo murmured, almost inaudibly. His gaze shifted to Geto, seeking perhaps a silent judgment or agreement. Geto, following the exchange with an unreadable smile, seemed more amused than concerned.
"So?" Geto prompted.
Gojo's gaze snapped back to you, his eyes raking over you as if searching for a flaw in your logic. His silence stretched taut between you, a wordless evaluation. Finally, the verdict, "Let's proceed with the hybrid approach."
You exhaled sharply, only then realizing you'd been holding your breath.
A flurry of activity erupted as the nurses prepared for the surgery you'd proposed. You watched closely as the surgeons moved with practiced precision around the patient's exposed brain tissue—both undoubtedly the best neurosurgeons in the country.
"Your name," Dr. Gojo demanded, his focus still on the task at hand. "What is it?"
You gave your name in response.
He repeated your name, as if testing how the name felt. "Do you always approach problems with such boldness?"
"If the situation demands it."
Something in his masked face shifted, a subtle expression that might have been a smile. Whatever it was, it seemed out of place.
"Interesting."
─── ·✧· ───
The corridors of Tokyo Medical University were bustling with life, echoing the footsteps and chatter of students. Lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces, you stood somewhat disoriented in front of the map of the University. Finding your way to your anatomy class felt like an impossible task, especially with less than four minutes on the clock.
It was your first day.
And already the middle of the semester.
Definitely not a good start to come late.
The university you used to attend was half this size, and somehow you already missed it. But who would turn down the opportunity to study at the country's most prestigious medical university? Especially with the chance to learn from the most renowned neurosurgeons teaching there?
So here you were.
Two minutes left.
All of a sudden, someone ran into you, causing you to fall to the ground.
"Whoa, sorry! I'm so sorry!" You looked up to see a guy with tousled black hair and noticeable dark circles under his eyes. He quickly extended a hand to help you up. "Are you okay?"
Brushing off your clothes, you nodded and accepted his hand, feeling a surprising strength as he easily pulled you back to your feet.
"You new here?" he asked, studying your face. "You seem a bit lost."
The subtle irony in his comment almost coaxed a smile out of you, especially considering his own worn-out look. "Yeah, it's my first day, and I'm already running late. I'm trying to find Dr. Ieiri's anatomy class."
"No way, that's my class too! Come on, I'll show you, but we need to make it quick," he responded, already moving ahead with a sense of urgency. You hastened to keep pace with his swift strides.
"I'm Yuta Okkotsu, by the way," he introduced himself as you weaved through the bustling corridors. "So, what's the story behind your mid-semester transfer?"
"I was at a different medical school, but then got this offer to transfer here."
Yuta's eyes widened slightly. "An offer to transfer? That's pretty impressive. You must be quite talented."
"I'm not so sure about that, I think I just got lucky."
Yuta led the way through the bustling corridors, his familiarity with the campus evident in every confident turn he took. Finally, you arrived at the large doors of the auditorium where Dr. Ieiri's anatomy class was supposed to be held. Pushing the doors open, you both slipped inside, but there was no sign of the professor yet.
"Made it," Yuta gasped, a grin spreading across his face despite the shortness of breath. "With, uh, time to spare!" He glanced at his watch. "Okay, maybe not."
Yuta, still catching his breath, gestured towards a group sitting near the back. "Come on, you can sit with us. My friends are cool, I promise."
As you followed, you noticed a girl with striking green hair. She was leafing through a thick textbook with an expression that suggested she found the content less than challenging. "That's Maki," Yuta whispered to you. "Don't let her scare you—she's actually really nice."
Maki looked up as you approached. "New student?"
"Transfer student actually," Yuta corrected. "Is Inumaki also running late?"
Before Maki could respond, the doors swung open. But instead of Dr. Ieiri, Dr. Satoru Gojo stepped in, his presence as commanding as when you first saw him.
No way.
The room fell into an instant hush. Dr. Gojo sauntered to the front of the auditorium, his silver hair gleaming in the gentle sun.
"Good morning, class," he began, his voice effortlessly filling the hall. "Dr. Ieiri is unavailable today, so I'll be taking you through the nervous system."
He scribbled his name on the board, one hand nonchalantly tucked into his trouser pocket. Turning back to face the class, he rolled up his sleeves, his captivating blue eyes even more striking without the barrier of surgical glasses.
As his gaze swept across the students, it abruptly landed on you. For a split second, his confident demeanor wavered, replaced by a flicker of surprise crossing his features.
"The first-year?"
Following his gaze, all heads turned towards you—dozens of stabbing eyes.
Fantastic, center stage yet again.
You locked eyes with Gojo for a heartbeat, maybe a minute, maybe a year. Heat spread all over your skin. His lips parted slightly, as if he was about to say something, but then he cleared his throat and regained his professional poise.
"As I was saying," he turned his attention back to the class, "—since Dr. Ieiri isn't here, we'll dive deeper into the nervous system. So listen well."
His eyes met yours one more time before he launched into the lecture.
─── ·✧· ───
As the lecture came to an end, the students began to gather their belongings. You also began to pack up your notes, still processing the intense lecture Dr. Gojo had just given. It was clear—he was not a professor who took it easy on his students.
"Should we grab a bite? We've got a few minutes before the next class," Yuta suggested, glancing at both you and Maki as you made your way towards the exit. But just as you were about to step out, Dr. Gojo's voice halted you in your tracks.
"Not you, first-year."
The remaining students cast curious glances your way as they continued to file out of the auditorium. Yuta paused, his gaze shifting between you and Dr. Gojo.
"I'll catch up later," you said to him. He nodded before disappearing with the last of the students.
Turning back, you found Dr. Gojo leaning nonchalantly against his desk with his arms crossed. His intense gaze was focused on you. The room quickly emptied, leaving only the two of you.
"I'm curious, what brings a first-year into an operating room?" he finally broke the silence.
"Dr. Geto invited me to observe."
"Dr. Geto?" he echoed, pushing himself off from the desk and taking a few steps closer. "How did you come to know him?"
"He invited me to transfer here," you explained. "He's overseeing a research project that I'm a part of."
"You what? You mean you're working with him on the neuroprosthetics?"
"Yes," you simply said.
He paused for a moment, then let out a chuff before taking a few deliberate steps closer. "Tell me, what did it take for you to get into this university? To become part of Suguru's team as a mere first-year student?"
Your brows furrowed slightly. "Are you insinuating something, Dr. Gojo?"
His lips curled into a half-smile, his approach halting just a breath away from you. "Oh, I wouldn't dream of suggesting anything untoward, like a student getting ahead by... unconventional means. That'd be highly inappropriate, wouldn't it?"
The air around you seemed to thicken as he loomed closer, his tall frame nearly casting a shadow over you against the backdrop of the window.
"I didn't know you were even Suguru's type," he continued.
Was he for real?
He knew nothing. 
Nothing about the countless hours you'd poured into your studies. Nothing about the sleepless nights spent devouring research papers. Nothing about the relentless drive that had earned you recognition in the scientific community despite your young age. And here he was, accusing you of fucking your way up the ladder.
"Why? Are you jealous?" The words slipped out before you could think.
Gojo's eyes narrowed. His jaw clenched. "I can see why Suguru took an interest."
The intensity of his gaze was unnerving, yet you found yourself unable to look away. It was as if he was trying to read your very thoughts, peeling back layers with nothing but his piercing blue eyes.
For a moment, his gaze drifted downward, lingering on your lips. Your pulse quickened, a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins. "Too bad, I'm on the neuroprosthetics team too," he remarked. "We'll be seeing quite a bit of each other, it seems."
Suddenly, he stepped back, breaking the intensity of the moment. "Make sure you live up to the expectations, first-year. I won't go easy on you just because you're a rookie."
With those final words, he turned away, leaving you standing in the midst of the empty auditorium, your mind racing.
Was he for real real?
─── ·✧· ───
"Ugh, I hate that guy!"
Geto looked up from his desk, a single eyebrow raised in response to your dramatic entrance into his office. "That guy?"
"I mean Dr. Gojo," you clarified, pacing the room. "I can't keep up with his arrogance."
He leaned back in his chair, regarding you with a calm, measured gaze. "He's not as bad as you think. You just need to get to know him better."
Know him better?
Yeah, that was the least you wanted to do.
"He just accused me of sleeping with you to get into this university!"
The words tumbled out of your mouth, more bluntly than you intended. Your relationship with Geto had always been somewhat informal, feeling more like a friendship. But this level of frankness was a step further than usual. But the anger and frustration boiling inside you made it impossible to hold back.
Geto couldn't suppress a laugh. "Sounds like something he would say," he mused, interlacing his fingers behind his head.
You stopped pacing the room and turned to face him. "Ha?"
"Listen," Geto began. "Gojo is a good man. He's always worked hard, so it might be a little irritating for him to see someone new get the recognition he's worked for years to get."
"But I've worked hard too," you countered.
"I know," Geto leaned forward, his elbows resting on the desk. "That's why I invited you here, to be part of my research team. He'll see your potential sooner or later." A warm smile played on his lips.
"So I just have to wait for his approval?"
"It looks like it," Geto shrugged.
Great.
"Besides we need him on this project, so it's best if you two find a way to get along. You'll learn a lot working with Gojo," he added.
You sighed. "I'm not so sure about that."
"Gojo is not easily impressed. But I have a feeling that you made quite an impression on him with your boldness in the operating room the other day. Not many students would suggest such an approach as you did."
"Is that a compliment?"
"You can take it as one, yes," he replied with a chuckle. He then stood up and began packing his bag. "Oh, and also, we're starting work on the project tomorrow, right after your last class."
Fantastic.
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes," he confirmed, nodding. "I think it's best we dive right in. Gojo will be there too, of course. It'll be a good opportunity for both of you to start fresh." His smile widened, a glint of amusement in his eyes.
You couldn't help but feel he was somewhat enjoying the situation.
─── ·✧· ───
The air was filled with the sterile scent of preservatives.
Anatomy class was in full swing, the only sound being the quiet murmur of focused students. You stood at your desk next to Yuta, Maki, and Toge, each of you meticulously dissecting and examining organs under the microscope. But your mind was elsewhere, lost in a blur of thoughts about the research project starting later that day.
As you sliced an organ in half with a practiced hand, your gaze drifted unfocused, the image under the microscope blurring. A wave of nausea washed over you. Perhaps it was the onset of the flu, or perhaps it was a convenient excuse to avoid facing Gojo later.
"Hey, you okay?" Yuta's voice pulled you back to the present. You realized you had been staring blankly at the tissue sample for longer than necessary. 
"Yeah, just thinking about the project later."
Maki glanced over, her eyes sharp behind her safety glasses. "With Dr. Gojo, right? That's going to be—interesting."
You paused. "What do you mean?"
"Dr. Gojo, well, he's notorious for being an ass," Maki said, her focus still on her own dissection. "He's undeniably a genius, but he's also—brutal. He has a way of pushing students to their limits, often too far."
Fantastic. 
Just what you needed to hear.
Your stomach churned. "I had a feeling about that."
"His standards are high, and he's not exactly gentle in his criticism. If you don't meet his expectations, he'll let you know, and not kindly," she continued. "He's made more than a few students question their life choices."
"Yeah, I've heard similar stories. You either meet his expectations or you're pretty much done," Yuta added.
The thought of working with Dr. Gojo was getting more fun by the minute. 
Maybe you should call in sick.
Toge contributed his one-word insight, "God complex," which seemed to perfectly sum up the mood of the conversation about Dr. Gojo.
"But—," Maki interjected, finally looking up, "—he's still the best in his field. If you can handle the pressure, he's undoubtedly the one to learn from."
Yeah, but what was the price for that?
You let out a tired sigh. 
Returning to your task, you carefully aligned the organ under the microscope. Gojo was intimidating, no doubt, but you had worked your ass off to reach this point. You weren't going to back down just because he was a dick. After all, Geto was also working on the project, so how bad could it possibly be then?
You glanced up from the microscope to adjust its focus. However, you couldn't help but notice Yuta. He glanced at Maki over his microscope with this look—that certain look.
Interesting.
─── ·✧· ─── 
"Your idea is just ridiculous!"
"Oh really? Yours is just shit!"
You didn't know how it ended up like this. It was barely two minutes into the discussion about a critical aspect of the research project, and here you were, shouting at each other. The entire lab had gone silent, all eyes glued to the heated exchange. Geto, leaning against a counter, watched the scene unfold with an amused smile playing on his lips.
"Your approach could compromise the entire neural interface integration," you argued. "It's too aggressive and doesn't take into account the potential for neural tissue damage."
Gojo was standing so close, that you could see the flecks of color in his eyes, feel the heat radiating off him. And could probably spit in his face.
Maybe you should do that.
His approach was risky—dangerous even. How could he not see that? 
"It's necessary," Gojo countered. "—playing it safe doesn't always work."
Yeah, you know that. But not in this case, not with this patient. It was borderline reckless.
"There's a fine line between a breakthrough and recklessness," you shot back.
"You're so naive," he retorted, stepping even closer. "You don't understand when it's time to take some risks."
You stared at him. "Taking risks? No, you're just being insane!"
"You—" he started but Geto quickly intervened. 
"Alright, that's enough for now," he said, placing a hand on each of your shoulders, physically creating space between you and Gojo. "Let's take a break."
But Gojo's eyes never left yours, unbroken even as Geto gently shoved him backwards. You stood there, your breath ragged, your heart racing. Around you, the lab slowly came back to life as the others resumed their tasks, occasionally stealing glances in your direction.
"Could you get us some coffee?" Geto asked, pressing a few bills into your hand.
Yeah. Sure.
You nodded. The unexpected surge of adrenaline that had coursed through your veins didn't leave you needing caffeine, but hell, you took anything that would get you away from him. As you made your way out of the lab, you could still feel his gaze on you.
Taking your time, you wandered to the cafeteria. Okay, maybe you just didn't find the way. But you didn't really care. The university was already empty at this hour. The moonlight streamed through the windows, casting long shadows that danced along the walls.
By the time you returned to the lab, the coffee had grown cold in your hands. Geto immediately perked up at your return, pushing himself away from his desk and walking over to you. "Ah, great," he said with a smile, taking a cup from your hands. "Thanks."
Your gaze shifted to Gojo, who hadn't moved an inch, his attention seemingly absorbed by the computer screen in front of him. Without a word, you placed his cup on his desk.
The rest of the evening was a blur of lab work, discussions, and planning.
You were focused on analyzing a blood sample to identify specific markers and genetic predispositions to determine if a patient was eligible for research. Normally an easy task, but your concentration began to waver.
Glancing at the clock, you noticed that it was well past midnight. The lab was quiet, most of the equipment was turned off, and the only light was the dim glow of a few workstations. Geto had left some time ago, urging you to do the same, but you stayed. It would take longer to continue your work tomorrow than to finish it now.
However, each test you ran seemed to produce inconclusive or erratic results. You rechecked the protocols, ran the tests again, but the results were still the same. Exhaustion was clouding your judgment, leading you to make mistakes you wouldn't normally make.
After yet another failed attempt, you let out a sigh and rubbed your tired eyes.
How was this so fucking hard all of a sudden?
"Let me help you," said a voice from behind you. It was Gojo. You thought he had already left, or maybe you were just so focused on your own task. You felt his presence close behind you as he leaned in to examine the blood sample results on the screen.
"See here," he said, so close you could feel the warmth of his breath. He reached around you to steer the controls, his arms encircling you. Your skin heated. "The centrifugation speed and time must be precisely calibrated. It affects the separation of cellular components, which is critical for accurate marker identification."
You nodded slightly, even though you already knew that. Somehow, you were now a bit ashamed of your own sudden stupidity. As the sample was prepared and placed for analysis, his presence remained close, his body heat and the soft cadence of his breathing a constant distraction. The results started to display on the screen, this time showing the definitive patterns you had been seeking.
"No need to thank me," Gojo said, straightening up—giving you some much-needed air to breathe. "You should go home, it's late."
You glanced at the clock on the wall. Yeah, you should really go home.
As Gojo moved towards the door, he paused briefly, his hand resting on the handle. "Burning out won't do you, or the project, any good."
You watched him for a moment. Somehow, in the dim light, his features softened the usually sharp lines of his face. "Are you concerned?"
"Concerned that you mess this project up," he said with a grin on his lips.
You let out a tired sigh. "Of course."
─── ·✧· ─── 
Another day. Another fight.
The tension in the lab was palpable as you and Gojo stood across from each other. The issue had resurfaced. So had the friction between your methods. Your opposing views seemed like an insurmountable chasm.
"You're not considering the long-term implications of your approach," you insisted, your voice tinged with frustration. "We need to think about patient recovery, not just the immediate results."
"The primary goal is to ensure the success of the procedure. Your 'cautious' tactics might compromise the project's objectives," Gojo retorted.
You bristled at his words. "It's not about being cautious—it's about being thorough and responsible. We can't afford to overlook potential complications."
The debate intensified, each point you made met with a sharp rebuttal from Gojo. As the argument escalated, he took a step closer, his blue eyes locked on yours. "Your method will not work, first-year. Playing it safe will kill this patient."
His proximity was overwhelming, and for a moment, you lost your train of thought, caught up in the intensity of his gaze. "My method will keep him alive," you managed to say, trying to regain your composure.
Before he could respond, you glanced at the clock on the wall and realized with a start that you were late for your class. "I have to go," you said abruptly, the urgency of the situation breaking the tension.
"We're not done with this discussion," Gojo snapped.
"Yeah, whatever," you said as you hurried out of the lab and rushed to your class. 
Gojo let out a low hiss under his breath. As you left the lab, Geto approached him, his expression serious despite the hint of a smile on his lips. Some might say he looked scary.
"Satoru," Geto began. "Can we talk for a minute?"
Gojo turned, his posture stiffening. "About what?"
Geto crossed his arms, leaning back against a lab table. "Could you please stop pissing off my precious student?"
"Ha?" he said, raking a hand through his hair. "Are you seriously siding with her?"
"I am," Geto confirmed. "I wanted her on this project because she and I are on the same page."
"Of course you are."
"Satoru, I don't want to throw you off this project, so please try to find a middle ground with her. Give her a chance."
Gojo exhaled sharply, the lines on his face softening slightly. "Your approach is too cautious. It won't work."
Geto maintained his calm demeanor. "We'll see."
"Fine," Gojo finally conceded. "I'll try to—work with her. On one condition."
"And what's that?" Geto asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We do it my way if your approach doesn't work," Gojo said.
"Fair enough."
Gojo looked away, his gaze settling on the empty space where you had stood moments before. There was a brief pause, his mind racing.
"Suguru, what exactly do you see in her?" Gojo asked after a while.
"Hm?" Geto looked at Gojo thoughtfully. "She has potential, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah, potential," Gojo echoed, his voice trailing off slightly.
Geto tilted his head.
─── ·✧· ───
The sun streamed through the windows of the anatomy classroom, casting a warm glow across the rows of desks. Despite the bright light, your eyelids felt heavy, the endless fights with Gojo replaying in your mind and robbing you of much-needed energy.
You sat beside Yuta, Maki, and Toge, struggling to focus on the lecturer's words. 
"Rough day?" Yuta whispered.
You propped your head up with one hand, blinking rapidly in a vain attempt to clear the fog of fatigue. "More like a rough week."
"You look like shit," Maki remarked.
"Thanks."
As the lecturer continued discussing the intricacies of human anatomy, your thoughts drifted back to Gojo. Despite all the arguments you had with him, all you could think about was the memory of his intense gaze, his closeness, his soft voice, even his scent. It made it impossible to concentrate on the lecture.
Yuta nudged you gently when you almost nodded off, your head dipping forward. "You really should get some rest after this."
Suddenly, an announcement woke you up in an instant.
"Now we'll do a quick test." Dr. Ieiri announced. "It's crucial for your upcoming exams."
A collective groan echoed through the class. You froze, your heart sinking. A test was the last thing you needed right now.
Yuta turned to you. "You got this," he said, trying to offer some encouragement.
You weren't so sure. 
As the test papers were distributed, you stared blankly at the questions. Your mind, usually sharp and focused during exams, felt sluggish and unresponsive. One by one, you read through the questions, trying to recall the knowledge you knew was hopefully buried somewhere in your tired brain.
Fuck.
It was all questions about something like skin, bones and that shit. You could recall every little detail about the brain, but bones? Fuck, you really should have paid attention in that class.
Panic set in as you realized that you might actually fail this test.
─── ·✧· ───  
1:07 AM.
You were still wide awake.
Tossing and turning, you found sleep elusive. Everything that had happened lately was replaying in your mind. You had barely been in Tokyo for a few weeks and your life was already so different. You barely had time to fix up your apartment, the moving boxes still there, waiting to be opened. And then the anatomy test—
You needed a distraction, something to focus on that wasn't your own disappointment.
So you decided to head back to the university lab. Maybe immersing yourself in work would help clear your head. The quiet, empty streets at this hour were oddly comforting as you drove to the campus. Upon arriving at the lab, you were surprised to see the lights already on. You pushed the door open, stepping into the familiar space.
No way.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, unable to hide your surprise.
Gojo hunched over a microscope, deeply engrossed in his work. He looked up, his expression one of mild annoyance. "I could ask you the same," he replied.
Nice.
Even in the lab, it seemed you couldn't escape his presence. He was always there, haunting both your mind and your reality.
"You shouldn't work so late. You're still a student," Gojo remarked.
You glanced at him. "Yeah, you've already told me that. But I want this project to work just as much as you."
Gojo looked your way, his striking blue eyes catching the dim lab light. "Don't you ever take a break? Go out? Maybe party or so?"
You observed him for a moment. His hair was disheveled, giving him a more relaxed, approachable look than usual. "I'm not really into the party scene," you admitted.
"I guessed as much," he responded, a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he returned his focus back to his work.
"What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, somewhat hurt.
"It's not a criticism, just an observation."
Setting up at a nearby workstation, you began reviewing some data on a patient you were about to perform surgery on. He was the first to receive a transplant directly into his cerebral cortex, hoping to bypass the damaged spinal cord and allow direct brain control of a prosthetic limb.
It was the first time such an operation had ever been performed. And Geto would be the one to do the surgery. Gojo would have normally, but he refused. He was still convinced it was the wrong approach. Even though all the data showed otherwise.
Sipping from your coffee, you glanced over at Gojo, finding a strange comfort in his presence. He worked with a focus and intensity that was almost mesmerizing.
3:23 AM. 
Exhaustion weighed heavily on your eyelids as you completed the final analysis. Now all you had to do was wait for the results. You rested your head on your hand, sinking lower and lower until your head touched the cool surface of the desk. Maybe a short nap wouldn't hurt.
Time passed unnoticed until a gentle touch caressed your cheek. It jolted you from sleep. You flinched slightly, your eyes fluttering open. Your gaze slowly traveled up, finally locking with Gojo's eyes. He stood beside you, his thumb lingering just a moment longer on your skin, stroking lightly over your cheek.
"You hungry?"
You straightened up, pulling back a little. Suddenly conscious of the close proximity. A warm flush spread across your cheeks.
Gojo pulled up a chair, turned it backwards and faced you. He unwrapped a small meal he had brought from a nearby bakery, the scent of fresh pastries filling the air. 
There was a casual ease to his movements. Like everything he did. Whether he was slicing through a brain or just existing. He always seemed so unbothered. As if he knew he would never fail at anything anyway.
Blinking tiredly, you rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the lingering veil of sleep. As you moved, a jacket slipped from your shoulders. His jacket. He must have draped it over your shoulders while you slept. It smelled like him.
"Keep it," he said before you could part your lips. "The body cools down after sleep."
"Always the doctor, aren't you?" you replied with a hint of a smile, pulling the jacket back around your shoulders. "Thank you."
Reaching for the pastry he had brought, you became acutely aware of his gaze. The intensity in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine.
"Tell me something about yourself."
"What do you want to know?" you asked, taking a bite of the pastry.
"Everything."
You chuckled. "That would take a while."
"I've got time."
You hesitated for a moment, feeling his gaze still intently on you.
"Tell me how Suguru found you," he continued.
"Back in my hometown, I was already in medical university, working on a research project about a specific type of brain tumor called glioblastoma multiforme. My mentor at the time encouraged me to publish a paper on my findings. It seems that Geto stumbled upon my work. That's how I ended up here."
"Impressive," he said. "Why this specific type of brain tumor?"
A lump formed in your throat. "Because my father died of it."
Gojo paused, his eyes searching yours, as if trying to read your thoughts.
"My father was a neurosurgeon, too. I practically grew up in operating rooms," you continued.
"Why did he die?"
The directness of his question caught you slightly off guard. You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. 
"The tumor was too aggressive. The surgery was useless, he knew that, but he wanted it anyway. They tried a radical surgery to remove as much of the tumor as possible while preserving vital brain function. But it failed. My father was just dead meat breathing after the surgery. My mother never got over that loss. I think she lost her mind."
The gruesome edge of your words surprised him, his eyes widening slightly. You looked away, unable to maintain eye contact with Gojo as his stupidly handsome blue eyes seemed to pierce your soul.
Silence stretched between you two.
"I'm sorry," Gojo said eventually.
"It's okay. He's long gone," your eyes lingered on the pastry. "It's what drove me to neurology," you continued, gathering the courage to look up at him. "I wanted to contribute to something that might change outcomes for people like my father."
"Is that why you want to go for the safe approach with the patient in our neuroprosthetics project?"
You thought about it. But it wouldn't help to lie anyway. "Yeah, that's probably it."
Gojo ran his fingers through his hair, releasing a weary exhale.
"Tell me about you now," you said, changing the subject.
He paused, then offered a brief, wry smile. "Not married, no girlfriend, no kids."
"That's not really what I meant."
"Sure?" he teased, the corners of his mouth turning up in a playful smile.
"Why not?" you asked him. This was indeed interesting. He was handsome. Tall. Barely in his thirties. A famous neurosurgeon. He was basically the whole package. Except—
"No time, I guess," he said.
"What a lame excuse," you retorted, leaning back in your chair. You stretched your arms above your head, trying to relieve the tension that had built up in your muscles. A slight smile lingered on your lips as you added, "I guess you're just too much ego for any woman to handle."
"Oh, sweetheart," Gojo replied, the nickname rolling off his tongue with a natural ease. "I suspect you have just as much ego as me."
Suddenly, Gojo stood up and closed the distance between you. You remained seated, looking up at him, your heart rate quickening. For a moment, he just stood there, looking down at you. The intensity in his gaze was palpable, and you found yourself caught in it, unable to look away. The room seemed to shrink, the space between you charged.
Then, leaning in, Gojo brought his face close to yours, his breath a whisper against your ear. The proximity sent a shiver down your spine. "Bad for you," he murmured softly, his voice a low rumble, "I do like arrogant woman."
Before you could respond, he straightened up. "Good night," he said. "You should get some sleep."
With that, he turned and walked out of the lab, leaving you sitting there. The air seemed to shift back to normal as the door closed behind him. 
─── ·✧· ─── 
Your legs hurt. Your back hurt. Your hips hurt. Your neck hurt.
Everything hurt.
You stood on the sidelines of the operating room for nearly 6 hours. Standing still on the same spot. You'll never get used to that. It's the worst part of the job. But it was still a privilege to witness Geto and Gojo in surgery, right?
The room was filled with the sound of beeping monitors and the low murmur of the assisting surgical team. From your vantage point, you had a clear view of the procedure and the surgeons. They worked together with a quiet efficiency that was fascinating. 
However, as you watched, something about Gojo caught your attention. His movements seemed slightly off. You started noticing it about an hour ago. But no one said anything. His hair was drenched in sweat and clung to his forehead. You could see the slight trembling in his hands, almost imperceptible.
Something was definitely off.
Your gaze lingered on him, studying his every move.
"First-year."
Gojo suddenly paused and looked up, his eyes meeting yours. You flinched slightly, as he caught you starring at him. "You want to try the next part?" he asked, his voice cutting through the hum of the operating room.
Was he serious?
Before you could reply, Geto interjected, "Satoru, are you joking? She's still a student."
Gojo's gaze didn't waver from you. "I know. But you said she's your best student," he replied his lips twitching with a smile. "I want to test that."
"You've done aneurysm surgery before, back in your hometown, right?" Gojo asked you.
Did he google you or what?
"Yes," you replied.
"Then step forward," he said.
You hesitated. Your gaze drifted to Geto for confirmation. Geto hesitated, then gave a slight nod.
Heart pounding, you stepped forward to the operating table. A rush of adrenaline surged through you. You took the offered surgical tools with a steady hand from Gojo, his eyes locked with yours. "We're going to work on clipping the aneurysm now. You've done it before, right?"
"Yes," you replied, your voice steady despite the racing of your heart.
"Good." He moved closer, positioning himself so he could guide you while still giving you control. "Start with an incision here," he instructed, pointing to a specific area on the patient's brain with his own instrument.
You could feel his gaze over your shoulder; the warmth of his body near yours. As you made the initial incision, Gojo moved even closer. "Now, carefully dissect the tissue to expose the aneurysm," he continued.
Your hands worked around the fragile brain. You did surgery before. Yes. But this was another level. Every eye of every nurse and doctor in the room was on you. Geto was monitoring the patient's data. He glanced at you from time to time, his expression unreadable. But you were at least three inches deep into a human brain, so there was no way out anyway.
After that, you would certainly have to vomit from the adrenaline.
At one critical point, your hands hesitated. Your heart almost exploded. In that moment, you could either kill this patient or save him. "Calm down," Gojo said, so low and close to your ear that only you could hear it. Gojo's hand cupped yours gently. "You're doing fine. Trust yourself," he murmured. His touch was brief, but it was enough to ground you for a moment.
Sweat trickled down your forehead as you isolated the aneurysm and prepared it for clipping.
"Good," he whispered.
Finally, as you placed the clip on the aneurysm and secured it, a wave of accomplishment washed over you. Hell, you really did it.
"Congratulations, an excellent clipping," Gojo said, his lips forming a smile. "You can step back now."
"Thank you, Dr. Gojo," you whispered. As you stepped back, a wide smile spread across your face, hidden beneath the mask but undeniable in the sparkle of your eyes.
Gojo took the lead again to close up the patient. But his gaze shifted to you every now and then.
Geto's eyes narrowed.
─── ·✧· ───
"You did a good job in there."
Gojo glanced in your direction as you both washed up in the scrub room after the operation.
"Thanks," you replied, meeting his eyes.
"I may have underestimated you," he said, his lips curving into a teasing smile.
Wait? Was that a compliment? From him?
Before you could respond, the door to the scrub room burst open. Geto stormed in, his face flushed with anger. He tore off his scrubs and threw them into the trash with a thud that made you flinch.
"We need to talk, Satoru," he said sharply. His intense gaze was fixed solely on Gojo, as if you weren't even there.
Shit.
Gojo calmly turned off the tap and reached for a towel, drying his hands with deliberate slowness. His face was an unreadable mask. He gave you a brief glance before following Geto out of the room.
"Don't you dare fuck my student," Geto hissed before the door had even fully closed behind them. But it didn't matter anyway, you could hear their voices through the thin walls.
Gojo leaned back against a table. His arms crossed over his chest. "What are you getting at?"
"Don't try to fuck with me, Satoru. I've seen the way you look at her."
"I supervised her, so that she wouldn't kill the patient. That's all you saw."
"Supervision?" Geto's voice was sharp. "Since when do you let a student handle such a crucial part of a surgery? What's gotten into you? What if she had screwed up?"
Gojo's eyes narrowed. "What's your problem? She's proven herself capable, and she performed brilliantly today, don't you think?"
Geto advanced a step, closing the distance between them. His frustration palpable. "This isn't like you, Satoru. You're blurring lines that should remain clear. She's a student. You're supposed to be her mentor, not—not whatever you're turning this into."
The room went silent.
"Your concern is noted, but misplaced," Gojo said. "My interest in her is purely professional. She has potential, real potential, and it's my job to support that."
Geto's expression hardened. "That's right, she has potential, and you're risking that if you can't keep your hands off her."
"What?" Gojo pushed away from the table. "Because you want her for yourself?"
"I can't believe you'd go there," Geto snapped back. "I brought her here because she's damn good at what she does, not for any other reason."
Gojo's face tightened, a muscle twitching in his jaw. "You should know me better, Suguru. I was giving her a shot to show her skills, that's all."
In a sudden move, Geto closed the distance and grasped Gojo's shirt, pulling him forward. Their faces were just inches apart. "Listen, Satoru," Geto said. "I'm dead serious. One wrong step, one slip, and you could ruin everything—her career, the project, your own reputation. Don't think I'll stand by and watch that happen."
Gojo's eyes met Geto's, unflinching. He placed his hands on Geto's to release his grip. "I hear you, Suguru," he said. "But you're wrong. My interest in her is purely professional."
"Make sure it stays that way," Geto warned. He released his grip and stepped back.
Geto then turned and left the room. Gojo turned his head to look at you through the small window in the door that separated you. Your eyes briefly met his before he also left, his footsteps echoing down the corridor.
Great.
─── ·✧· ───
This day couldn't get any better.
You stood at the exit of the hospital. It was pouring.
Resigned, you decided to wait near the exit, hoping the rain would stop soon. Minutes passed, but the rain showed no signs of stopping.
"Waiting out the rain?" a familiar voice called out from behind.
You turned to see Gojo appeared. He had changed out of his surgical scrubs and was now in his regular clothes. His muscular arms and broad shoulders visible even under his loose button-down.
"Yeah, it looks like I'm stuck here for a while."
Gojo opened his umbrella. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car."
You hesitated for a moment.
"Suguru already left, don't worry," he added, as if reading your thoughts.
You frowned slightly. "That's not what I was concerned about."
"Then why are you hesitating?" He took a step closer, the umbrella now over you both. He stood at least a head taller than you, looking down at you with heavy eyes. You studied the tired lines in his face, the slight dark circles under his eyes.
"You look tired."
"Do I?" Gojo's voice was deep, his gaze lingering shamelessly on your lips. "Perhaps I am. I've been thinking about you all night."
"Bold statement, especially after Geto's warning."
"I'm not afraid of Suguru."
"Is that why you let me operate today? To piss him off?"
He leaned forward. "I let you operate because you can operate. Suguru is hesitant. He likes to play safe. With me, you'll have more challenge—more fun."
"Are we still talking about surgery?"
"Of course, sweetheart," he replied with a grin. "Come on, It's been a long day. I insist."
"Okay," you finally relented. "Thank you."
You stepped out into the rain together. The umbrella shielded you both as you walked side by side. You walked in silence, the only sound being the gentle drumming of raindrops. Gojo subtly shifted the umbrella, ensuring you were completely covered. His shoulder got wet.
When you reached your car, you turned to him. Somehow you stood so close now. His breath hot against you skin. Your stomach turned slightly, but you tried to brush the feeling off. "Thank you," you said softly, "—for everything today."
"Can I ask you for a favor?" He asked suddenly.
"Sure."
"Can you help me with a project?"
"Another project? Besides the neuroprosthetics?" you asked.
"It's a private one. I could use your assistance with processing data."
"Let me know when and where."
He smiled. "Perfect."
Gojo smoothly opened the car door for you, still holding the umbrella over your head. "Take care," he said gently, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer than necessary. You both remained frozen. The world outside the umbrella a blur.
"You too," you finally replied, breaking the moment. As you got into your car, you were acutely aware of his eyes still on you.
He closed the door for you and turned.
─── ·✧· ───
"Sorry in advance if this hurts."
You tried to insert the needle, your hand less steady than usual. The needle missed the vein, making Yuta wince. "Sorry," you wiped sweat from your forehead. Then tried again, quickly changing the needle.
A week had passed since the fight between Geto and Gojo. Since then, Gojo hadn't visited the lab. You didn't know what to make of it. But perhaps it was for the better. Less fighting after all. Gojo still didn't approve of your approach.
Still, you couldn't force your mind to stop racing. Perhaps it was the immense workload you had. The research project, not to mention Gojo's personal research project, and inevitably, Gojo himself.
You were in practical class, sitting with Maki, Yuta, and Toge, focusing on a seemingly simple task—practicing drawing blood. But you failed every time.
Yuta gave you a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, you've done this a hundred times."
Yeah. Not really, but you should probably not tell him that right now.
You took a deep breath and tried again. Failed.
"It's alright, give it another go," Yuta said, even after you had stabbed his arm too many times to be comfortable.
The needle slipped again and missed the mark. "I'm sorry, Yuta. I don't know what's wrong with me today."
"Pressure?" Toge asked.
"Yeah, I guess it's a lot lately."
Suddenly, Dr. Kento, the instructor for this practical lesson, appeared behind you. His stoic demeanor sent a shiver down your spine without you having to see it.
"You're really not good at this," he commented bluntly, not really befitting a professor. But it was true.
Forcing a smile, you turned to face him. "Just a bit off my game today."
Dr. Kento's expression remained impassive. "Drawing blood is a basic skill. You should be able to do it in your sleep," he lectured. "But you look like you're torturing your patient."
"Ehh—," you began, turning back to Yuta and only then noticing his pained expression. All color had drained from his face. 
Oops.
Dr. Kento's gaze then swept across the room, capturing the attention of the entire class. "Everyone needs to master this," he continued. "I expect you to be able to do this by the end of the week."
You kidding, right?
It was already Thursday. He basically meant tomorrow.
As if on cue, the bell rang.
You and your friends began to gather your belongings. As the room buzzed with the chatter of students packing up, Yuta brought up a topic that immediately drew everyone's interest.
"Hey, about the sports festival, which team should we join?"
"Sports festival?" you echoed, feeling slightly out of the loop. Your focus on the lab work had left you missing everything else that happened on campus.
Yuta nodded. "Yeah, it's a big event. Every year there's a sports festival in the summer with a bunch of team sports events and competitions."
Toge, usually reserved, showed a flicker of excitement. "Basketball."
"Yeah, the professors usually form a basketball team against the students. Should we join?" Yuta asked.
Maki already scrolled through her phone, looking up the festival details. "We should register then, hmm ... oh the professor team is already full, and .. oh Dr. Gojo and Dr. Geto are in the team."
"I bet they are just as competitive on the court as they are in the OR," Yuta added.
"Join?" Toge asked.
"Sure," Maki commented, scrolling through her phone for more details.
Out of curiosity, you asked, "Does anyone here even play basketball?"
Yuta, scratching his chin thoughtfully, replied, "Well, I've played a bit. And Maki's naturally good at anything, so—" he paused, seemingly realizing what he just said. His face turned a shade redder. "Ehh, I mean, you've played basketball before, right, Maki?"
Maki just shrugged, a confident smirk on her face. "He's not wrong."
"So, are we doing this?" you asked.
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Great.
Now you had to learn how to play basketball too.
─── ·✧· ───
Later that day, you found yourself outside Gojo's office, clutching the stack of papers you had prepared for his research project. Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you knocked softly before entering.
"Dr. Gojo, I've finished the analysis you requested," you said, placing the papers on his desk.
"Thank you. I'll check these later," he said, not looking up from his computer.
You turned to leave. But just as you reached the door, Gojo's voice halted you.
"Wait."
You paused, turning back to face him.
"Wash your hands. There are syringes and needles in the drawer on the bottom right."
"What?" you asked, not sure what he wanted from you.
He looked up from his computer. "You're embarrassing me," he said bluntly. "You know what Kento said to me earlier? He said, and I quote, 'Are you stupid? How can you let a student operate on the brain who can barely get a needle through skin?'"
You felt a knot forming in your stomach.
"It was just not my day, really," you stammered, trying to defend yourself, though your voice lacked conviction.
"How many times have you done that before?" he asked, his gaze intimidating.
You were lost for words.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said, more to himself than to you. He stood up from his desk and rolled up his sleeves.
Before you knew it, you found yourself sitting next to him, wearing gloves and poised with a needle in hand. Gojo's arm was outstretched towards you, the veins visible beneath his skin. You stared at his arm. Somehow your mind now completely blank.
"Aren't you going to tie a band around my arm to make my veins more visible first?" he asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
"Oh, right," you muttered, your cheeks flushing. You wrapped the band around his arm and secured it tightly. Your fingers trembled slightly as they touched his firm skin. The contact felt unexpectedly intimate. It made your heart race.
He watched you, his expression softening slightly. "Easy now," he said in a more encouraging tone. "It's not hard. Just focus."
Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady your trembling hands. The needle hovered over his vein, and for a moment, you were acutely aware of the silence in the room, punctuated only by the sound of your own erratic heartbeat.
You hesitated.
"Use your little finger against my arm to anchor your hand," he said.
Following his advice, you rested your finger against his skin, feeling a surprising steadiness in your hand.
"And angle the needle slightly," he added. "It's about finding the right entry point—not too steep, not too shallow."
You adjusted the angle of the needle accordingly, aiming for the vein. The tip pierced the skin, and this time, it slid into the vein smoothly. You let out a heavy exhale.
"Good," he said. "Now, draw the blood gently."
As you carefully drew the blood, you could feel Gojo's eyes on your hands, monitoring your technique. Once the procedure was complete and you carefully removed the needle. "Much better," he rolled down his sleeve, a slight arch of his eyebrow. "How is it that you've never really done that before?"
"I don't need to draw blood if I'm operating on the brain," you said with a shrug.
Gojo watched you, a stunned expression flickering across his face.
"The nurses usually handle that anyway," you added, hoping to clarify your point.
There was a moment of silence as he processed what you just said. Finally, he shook his head slightly. "I'm just going to ignore what you just said," he replied.
Changing the subject, he leaned back in his chair. "By the way, I saw your name on the list for the students' basketball team for the upcoming sports festival."
You raised your eyebrows, peeling off your gloves. "Oh, you did?"
"Yeah," he said, a playful glint appearing in his eyes. "I didn't know you played basketball. But I have to admit, I'm curious to see if you're as good at basketball as you are at clipping aneurysms."
"I haven't really played much before, so you might want to lower your expectations," a small smile tugged at your lips. "Have you played before?"
"I used to play pretty regularly when I was in universtiy," he said.
Great.
If he was anywhere near as good at basketball as he was at surgery, you were fucked.
"You should teach me then," you quipped, not quite meeting his gaze. As the words left your lips, you immediately realized the implication. You turned to him, a blush coloring your cheeks. "It's just a joke."
His smile widened. "Oh really? Too bad, I'd have liked that."
The room fell into silence.
You found yourself staring at him, and he returned your gaze.
His silver hair had a few strands that were slightly out of place. Your eyes studied his face as if seeing it for the first time. The typical intensity in his blue eyes had softened, replaced by an almost gentle expression. His sharp jawline moved slightly, as if he were pondering something.
Breaking the silence, you finally spoke, your voice softer than intended. "I wonder what you were like back in your university days."
"Why do you ask?"
"It's hard to imagine you not being the controlled surgeon you are now."
"You think I'm controlled?"
"No, that's not what I meant," you hurried to clarify. "I mean, you're always so focused, so—precise, and—"
Before you could finish, he leaned in closer, his intense gaze holding you captive. The world around you seemed to fade into a blur, leaving only the two of you in sharp focus. You could feel the warmth of his breath, barely a whisper away from your skin.
Gojo reached out, his hand gently cupping your chin. He lifted your face slightly, ensuring your eyes met directly.
"If you keep looking at me like that, I might lose my control sooner than you'd expect," he said, his thumb lightly brushing your jawline.
After a moment that seemed to stretch on, he slowly withdrew his hand and stepped back, breaking the connection. He turned away from you and walked back to his desk. "Thank you for your work. You can leave now."
─── ·✧· ───
The late afternoon sun cast a warm glow over the university's outdoor basketball court. Maki, Toge, Yuta, and you had gathered for practice, despite the lingering summer heat.
"I can't believe we're actually doing this," you said, dribbling the basketball on the sun-baked concrete. "None of us are exactly pros."
Maki, tying her hair back, grinned. "Speak for yourself. I've got some hidden talents." She effortlessly caught the ball and shot it toward the hoop, scoring a basket. "See?"
Yuta laughed and retrieved the ball. "That's just beginner's luck, Maki. Watch and learn." He took a shot, but the ball bounced off the rim.
"Practice," Toge said.
"Yeah, we really need more practice," you finished his sentence.
"Hey, watch this!" Yuta called out, attempting a fancy dribble move, only to lose control of the ball. It rolled away, and Toge scooped it up and passed it back with a short, "Focus."
"You're one to talk," Maki teased, swiping the ball from Toge and lobbing it towards the basket. It swished through the net effortlessly. "I still got it!"
You caught the ball and wiped the sweat from your brow. "I never thought we'd be practicing basketball as medical students."
Maki turned to you with a curious look. "Speaking of training, how's the research going? You've been spending a lot of time with Geto and Gojo."
You began to dribble the ball, more or less. "It's intense, but I'm learning a lot. Dr. Geto is incredibly intelligent, and well, working with Dr. Gojo is—an experience."
"An experience, huh?" Maki said with a grin "Is that code for 'Dr. Handsome has some unique ways of teaching me'?"
You flinched. Yuta quickly snatched the ball from your unfocused grip and shot it through the net.
"Dr. Handsome?" you echoed.
Maki opened a bottle of water. "Don't tell me he's not good-looking—they both are."
"I mean, they both definitely have their—charm, I guess."
"Charm, huh?" Maki teased, taking a sip of her water. "I've seen the way Dr. Gojo looks at you. There's definitely something."
"It's not like that," you protested, though your defensive tone might have suggested otherwise. "He's just an incredible surgeon to work with, that's all."
"He did let you operate with him, though. That's all I'm saying," Maki added.
"Aneurisym," Toge chimed in.
Yuta, bouncing the ball beside you, added, "Yeah, he let you operate on an aneurysm with him, which is pretty crazy."
You rolled your eyes. "Can we focus on the festival game instead of me?"
Maki laughed. "Alright, alright, we'll drop it. But seriously, how's the project going? I mean, besides the whole Dr. Handsome thing."
Yeah, where to start on that.
Taking a deep breath, you told them more about the research project. 
─── ·✧· ───
As the sun began to sink lower in the sky, painting the horizon in shades of orange and pink. You were still on the basketball court, practicing your shots. The others had already left. The court was quiet, except for the rhythmic bounce of the basketball and the occasional swish of the net.
Suddenly, a familiar voice cut through. "Hey, First-year."
Startled, you turned to see Gojo approaching the court. He was dressed in athletic attire—a black, skin-tight t-shirt and shorts that looked criminally good on him.
"Dr. Gojo," you said, a bit surprised to see him there. "I didn't expect to see you practicing."
He picked up a basketball and began dribbling with ease. "I like to keep my skills sharp," he said, shooting a casual glance in your direction. "And I heard there was a new challenger on the students team."
You let out a tired sigh. "I'm just trying to make sure I don't embarrass myself too much at the festival," you admitted.
"Have more confidence in yourself, first-year. You're operating on brains, there's no room for doubts." Gojo shot the ball towards the hoop, scoring effortlessly. "And by the way, stop calling me Dr., just Gojo is fine."
"Alright, Gojo," you said.
Gojo passed the ball to you with a casual flick of his wrist. "Come on, first-year. Show me what you've got."
A cold shiver ran down your skin. Oddly, having to demonstrate your non-existent basketball skills felt more intimidating than clipping an aneurysm in front of him.
You positioned yourself at the three-point line, bouncing the ball a few times to find your rhythm. With a deep breath, you aimed and threw the ball, but it bounced off the rim and rolled away.
Gojo walked over to retrieve the ball. "Yeah, you'll definitely embarrass yourself if you play like that."
Ouch.
"Can you do anything besides brain surgery?" he probed further.
Ouch.
"You know that hurts," you said.
"It's all about posture and precision," he said, closing the distance between you two. He halted just before you. "May I?"
With a nod, you consented. He moved in closer, positioning himself directly behind you. His presence enveloping you in a comforting warmth. He smelled like sweat, but oddly, you found it rather attractive. 
You could feel the light touch of his hands as they gently guided your shoulders, aligning your stance with the hoop. His closeness was suffocating, and you found yourself acutely aware of every movement he made.
"Bend your knees a bit more," he advised, his voice a soothing whisper near your ear. You could feel his breath, warm and steady, against the side of your neck, causing your heart to beat faster. His hands moved down to adjust your arms. His touch warm against your skin.
You tried to focus on his instructions. But the closeness of his body, the gentle pressure of his hands on your arms, made it damn hard to concentrate on anything other than him. 
"Now, when you shoot, focus on a fluid motion," he added.
As you prepared to take the shot, Gojo's hands rested lightly on your hips, steadying you. You should have pushed them away. Touching you like that was far beyond appropriate. But you didn't. You wanted him to touch you even more in that moment.
With his guidance, you took the shot, and this time the ball sailed through the net with a satisfying thud.
"You see? You have it in you," Gojo said, leaning back slightly but still close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from him.
You turned to face him, meeting his gaze. Your heart immediately dropped.
Even in the waning light you could see it clearly.
"Are you high?" you asked, a slight frown creasing your forehead.
For a moment, Gojo seemed taken aback by your question. He quickly masked his expression with a casual smile and stepped back, creating some distance between you. He began to dribble the basketball, his movements fluid and practiced, yet there was a hint of unease in his actions.
"It's nothing," he said, focusing intently on the ball rather than meeting your eyes. "Just a small injury during practice."
"And you decided to what? Throw in an opioid for that small injury?" you pressed.
He stopped dribbling and faced you, his expression becoming more serious. "No, of course not," he replied with a hint of defensiveness. "It's just a minor strain. I didn't take anything strong for it."
You couldn't believe what he just said. He—a surgeon—a doctor—out of all people.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, it's been a long day, and I might have pushed myself a bit too hard. But I'm fine, really."
You studied him closely. "You expect me to believe that?" you took another step closer. "What did you really take? Codeine? Morphine?"
A flicker of something undefinable passing through his eyes. "You're crossing a line," he replied, his tone firmer this time.
"Me? Crossing a line?" you countered. "Since the first day we met, you've been pushing boundaries, and now you say I'm the one overstepping?"
Gojo's expression hardened. "I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, I am perfectly fine." His words were steady, but the slight tightness in his jaw suggested otherwise.
You didn't buy anything he just said. The feeling that something was off clung to you, refusing to be dispelled. His usual clarity seemed clouded, his sharpness dulled. His eyes slightly red. His skin paler than usual. It was unsettling to see him like this.
After a brief pause, he picked up the basketball and held it loosely at his side. "I think we're done here," he said. "You should go home."
You watched him for a moment longer. But then you decided to turn and walk away, leaving him alone on the court. As you made your way, his words replayed over and over in your mind. 
Was something wrong with him? 
Should you be worried?
After all, you worked together. And also—naturally—you were worried about him, right? Like any student would be worried about his professor, right?
The evening air suddenly felt so cold.
─── ·✧· ───
The lab was quiet except for the occasional hum of machinery and the soft clinking of your tools as you worked. You were deep in concentration, analyzing data for the upcoming neuroprosthetics project, when the door opened with a soft click.
"Ah, there you are," Geto said as he stepped in. "I've been searching for you. We've finally got the green light for our surgery. Everything's lined up and ready to go."
You straightened up, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. "Really? That's great. When?"
Geto walked over to your workstation, a subtle smile on his face. "In two weeks. Are you excited?"
"More like nervous."
"Ah, that's natural. But don't worry, it will work. You've done an excellent job."
You felt a swell of pride at his words. "Thank you. I'm glad I could help."
Still, there was a question on the tip of your tongue, something you had been pondering since last week. Hesitantly, you opened your mouth, but then stopped. Words failed you.
"What is it?" Geto asked, knowing you too well.
"Is something wrong with Gojo?"
He leaned against the table and crossed his arms. His expression shifted slightly. "Don't worry about him. He's just stressed lately."
Somehow you didn't buy it.
"Even so, you shouldn't get that close to him."
"I'm not—" you wanted to interject, but he cut you off.
"I'm not blind," he said firmly. "You have a bright future in science. Don't risk it by getting too involved with him. Satoru is a brilliant surgeon, but his personal life is a mess."
What should that mean?
You looked away, unsure how to respond.
Geto then changed the subject. "By the way, I have some more news for you—good and bad. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news, of course," you replied.
"Here," Geto said, handing you a journal. As you took it, the bold lettering on the cover immediately caught your eye. It featured an article written by Gojo.
You opened the journal, your heart racing as you skimmed the pages to find the article. And there it was—a comprehensive meta-analysis that you, too, had worked on.
"No way," you murmured, your eyes scanning the text in disbelief.
Below the article was your name, listed alongside Gojo's, credited for your pivotal role in the data analysis and interpretation.
"He mentioned me." 
Geto nodded, a hint of pride in his expression. "That's a pretty big deal."
You were momentarily speechless. Being credited alongside someone as renowned as Gojo was insane.
"Now for the not-so-good news," Geto began.
You looked up at him from the Journal, your eyes still sparkling.
"You failed your anatomy exam."
─── ·✧· ───
The sports festival was in full swing.
Cheers and laughter filled the university campus. The summer heat beat down relentlessly. You already felt a little nauseous that day, and the sun only made it worse. Yeah, you weren't really cut for the heat. At least the bleachers were partly shaded.
You sat quietly besides with Maki, Yuta, and Toge, watching various events unfold on the field. Despite the lively atmosphere, you couldn't bring yourself into the festive spirit. Your mind was elsewhere.
Maki nudged you gently. "Still thinking about the exam?"
You sighed. "Yeah, I have to pass the next one, or I'll have to do this year again."
Yuta leaned over. "You'll go it, I'm sure. Plus, you got mentioned in Dr. Gojo's paper—that's huge!"
"Huge," Toge said again to underline it even more.
You managed a small smile. "I hope you're right."
Maki patted your back. "Dr. Handsome will sure put in a good word for you."
You sighed again. "Not this topic again."
Suddenly, the announcer's voice boomed over the loudspeakers, announcing that the basketball match between students and professors will begin shortly.
Yuta turned to you and the others. "Looks like it's our turn. Let's start getting ready."
You nodded, through a wave of nausea washed over you. The heat of the sun was merciless, more intense than you'd expected, and it seemed to be draining your strength by the minute.
Maki stood up. "Alright, team, let's show them what we've got!"
Should you vomit now, or later—or both?
Having changed into your sports attire, you joined your teammates on the basketball court. You began to warm up your muscles, even though the heat made that almost unnecessary. You felt your face burn. Nausea churned in your stomach. 
You paused, closing your eyes for a moment, hoping it would pass.
Then, the professors' team made their entrance onto the court. Among them were Geto and Gojo. They began dribbling and passing the ball between them, occasionally doing stretches that showcased their well-built bodies.
They looked confident.
You calculated the odds of how badly this match might go for your team.
Why did you even sign up for this?
Your gaze inadvertently met Gojo's across the court. For a fleeting second, your eyes locked, sending a wave of unease through you. You haven't spoken to him since. Quickly, you averted your gaze and focused back on your stretches.
As Gojo and another professor continued their warm-up, they passed the ball back and forth, aiming for the net. Then a shot from Gojo missed its mark, sending the ball rolling your way. 
As if he ever missed a shot.
The ball stopped at your feet, and before you could react, Gojo was there, sprinting up to retrieve it. He halted right in front of you. "You don't look good," he said, his voice so low that only you could hear it.
"I'm fine," you said. "I think it's just the heat."
Gojo reached out, his hand cool against your forehead. "You're overheating."
You quickly pushed his hand aside. "You might want to keep a professional distance, don't you think?" The words came out sharper than intended.
Gojo frowned slightly. "You should sit this one out."
"I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, I am perfectly fine," you responded, mirroring his words back at him.
He took a step closer. "You're stupid, you know that?"
Before you could respond, Geto's voice called out from across the court. Gojo turned at the sound. "Coming!" He gave you a last look before quickly walking away. You watched them do a stupid boyish handshake as Gojo rejoined Geto.
At least he was not high today, you thought.
The crowd was already roaring with cheers and applause as both teams lined up. They all here to witness my downfall, you thought, struggling against the nausea that threatened your focus. 
Right off the bat, Gojo weaved through your team's defense, fluid and precise. He flicked the ball to Geto, who faked left and then took a clear shot, scoring the first basket of the game. The crowd erupted.
Yuta sprinted down the court and dribbled past Gojo. He passed the ball to you, and you took your chance at a three-pointer. The ball arced beautifully, but it rimmed out at the last second. 
At least you tried, right?
Not missing a beat, Toge snagged a pass from a professor and pivoted into a counterattack. He found Maki open. She didn't disappoint, scoring a layup to tie the game. Your team was holding up surprisingly well, mostly thanks to your friends' efforts.
Then, Geto feinted, passing to an open Gojo. With a swift move, Gojo scored another point, eliciting a fresh wave of cheers from the spectators. But Yuta was quick to follow, dribbling down the court. He passed to Maki, who nailed another crucial basket, closing the score gap.
In the final minutes, the game was deadlocked. Gojo had the ball, expertly evading your teammates defensive efforts. He made a break for the basket. Yuta, determined to block him, overreached and stumbled backwards, heading straight for you.
You barely had time to brace yourself.
The collision was inevitable. 
Yuta crashed into you, and both of you went tumbling to the ground. The game halting abruptly to the sound of a sharp whistle.
"Are you okay?" Yuta blurted out.
Why was Yuta always running you over?
You rolled over to your side, feeling the heat of the ground beneath you. Everything spun, nausea swirling with pain. "I might need a minute," you managed to say, the world tilting around you.
Almost instantly, Gojo was there, kneeling beside you. "Don't move." He began to examine you for any immediate injuries, his hands tenderly scanning your exposed skin. "You feeling dizzy?"
Your response was a pained sound, a clear sign that you were far from okay. "You might have a concussion. We need to get you checked right away," Gojo said.
"I'm fine," you started to protest, but Gojo had already lifted you into his arms in one fluid motion. He held you close to him. Instinctively, you clung to his neck, feeling the pounding of his heart against your own. It made your stomach clench.
"I'm fine, really," you said again as he carried you off the court.
"Ah shut up, I know you're not." His eyes fixed on you, as if you were the only person who mattered at that moment. "You're really stressing me, you know that?"
─── ·✧· ───
The room felt so small. 
His presence filled the whole space.
"There," Gojo said softly as he inserted the needle into your arm. "This should help with hydration and ease any nausea."
You watched as he secured the needle in place. He adjusted the flow of saline, his eyes meeting yours, a playful smile on his lips. "So much for not needing to handle a needle, huh?"
You rolled your eyes.
Then he cupped your chin and tilted your head back slightly. "Watch the light," he instructed, flicking a small penlight on and off before your eyes. His fingers warm against your skin. "Good," he said, his gaze lingering on yours for a moment longer than necessary.
"Maybe you should stick to brains, instead of sports," he added.
You smiled weakly. "I'll never touch a basketball again in my life, I guess."
His smile widened.
"Thank you," you said quietly.
"No need to," he replied. "Just do me a favor and stop making me worry about you all the time. It's draining."
Your stomach tightened. Gojo turned away and removed his gloves, tossing them into the trash. As the saline drip worked its magic, you began to feel better, the nausea and dizziness slowly receding.
"You mentioned me in your paper," you spoke up, breaking the silence.
Gojo turned to face you, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "I did."
"Why?"
"Why wouldn't I? You've done most of the analysis." 
"You could have done it without me."
"I know, but I wanted you to be a part of it."
Knowing that the analysis of such an important issue would get a lot of recognition, he should have added.
"Why?" you asked again, already knowing the answer.
"Because I want to support you."
"But I'm just a student, and you're—" You trailed off, feeling a sudden tightness in your chest. His crystal blue eyes seem to pierce right through you.
"And I'm what?"
He stood up and closed the distance between you, his hands coming to rest on either side of you on the bed. The nearness of his body made your breathing hitch in your throat. The warmth of his presence enveloped you, the subtle scent of his cologne blending with the sterile air.
His face was so close, his lips almost grazing yours. Your heart raced, pounding so loudly in your chest you were sure he could hear it. 
You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. "—my professor."
"Too bad, isn't it?" he whispered hoarsely, his voice a velvet caress that sent shivers down your spine.
Your mind raced with a thousand thoughts, a thousand reasons why this shouldn't happen, why you should push him away. But your body betrayed you, leaning into him, closing the distance, seeking the touch of his lips against yours.
"We shouldn't be doing this," you whispered.
"Tell me to stop, and I will."
Your core heated, turning molten. Your lips parted slightly, surrendering to the moment. 
You could tell how much self-control it took for him to not kiss you. You could see it in the way his jaw was set, his brow subtly furrowed, his eyes glued to your lips. Yet, he waited for your consent. 
His lips were a mere breath from yours—so cruelly close. Every fiber of your being yearned for him to close the gap, for him to lose against his self-control.
Suddenly you heard your name and a knock at the door.
The door swung open abruptly. Gojo flinched back, the spell between you broken. Regaining his composure, he stepped back, putting a professional distance between you two. You straightened quickly, trying to hide your flushed face.
You wished desperately that he'd kissed you.
Geto stood in the doorway, his eyes flickering between Gojo and you.
You could tell what he was thinking.
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next chapter ->
author's note: thanks for reading and feel free to leave your thoughts !! if you want to be added to the taglist, pls comment on the series masterlist ♡
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artvitorianoir · 2 months ago
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Hate you stop
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churinzie · 3 months ago
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Much Needed Rest. .
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SYNOPSIS: wouldn't it be lovely to just finally get the rest you were so deprived of?
CHARACTERS: dan heng x reader ╱ established relationship
A/N: mwah i conjured this up at 11pm cuz i keep seeing my boy sleeping in every single bit of fanart god bless
WORD COUNT: 1.8k
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It was an almost cultural shock when Dan Heng had stepped foot off of the Express as soon as Pom Pom had announced that they were making a stop at the Xianzhou Luofu. You initially had no idea why your boyfriend  was acting so weary and suddenly seemed a bit more cautious than usual. But now, after learning everything, you can’t say that you were surprised.
It made sense that someone would be anxious about returning to their home after initially being banished there due to their past life.
Once you were actually aware of what Dan Heng had been through, you simply felt nothing but sympathy and remorse. It was definitely horrible to have been constantly referred to and compared to his past when he wasn’t that same person anymore. You couldn’t imagine how stressful it might’ve been for Dan Heng and..
Wait, has he even slept properly?
Dan Heng hadn’t slept not once when he returned to the Express. In his new form, appearing to be as irritated and bothered as ever. Which definitely sent alarm bells ringing inside your body as soon as you took a peek at his simmering teal eyes that seemingly glowed a lot brighter than usual as he spoke to Mr. Yang. You just assumed that his eyes were in fact glowing. Taking a closer look, you realized that there was the slightest hint of dark circles appearing underneath your boyfriend’s eyes. No one else seemed to notice it though. Was it just you being a bit too observant? You didn’t know but what you did know was that Dan Heng seemed to just be a bit drowsy. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, you could sense it from a mile away.
However, just how in the world were you supposed to get a vidyadhara in bed? A vidyadhara that barely slept in the first place much less?
It was a difficult mission but you knew that it had to be done eventually so why not start now as soon as everyone else was asleep as well? It couldn’t hurt to try. Unfortunately, Dan Heng wasn’t too on board with the way that you kept intensely staring at his face as if you were scrutinizing him in a way throughout the entire day of him coming back to the Express. He couldn’t exactly help it when on the Luofu, the first thing that people did once they gave him a good look was to either be scared of him or try to kill him.
So, it was very understandable why he was a bit weary but he couldn’t be too irritated. He was dating you after all. He knew better than anyone that you had no malicious intent towards him. But what he really didn’t expect was for you to appear on the other side of the Archive’s closed door in the middle of the night. Dan Heng had mentally decided that he’d only appear in this form at night just so nothing would feel suppressed and so he could, unfortunately, get used to it.
A knock, followed by another one, and then a few others soon followed before he mentally facepalmed. He found the relentless sounds a bit tedious in the dead of the night. “Enter,” Dan Heng had soon said, watching the door open to reveal your half awake form on the other side. He should’ve known that it was you and not March after all. March probably would’ve had a way more annoying announcement of her presence.
No matter how annoyed he probably (most likely) seemed, he enjoyed the visit and couldn’t hide just how softer and quieter his tone had gotten.
“Did you need something?” It was nothing but a soft murmur that had left from his lips as soon as the door had closed behind you.
“A certain someone looked a bit too tired as soon as he returned,” You said, albeit slightly accusatory, as one of your hands came up as a half hearted attempt at rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. Rooming with March was quite the adventurous idea to say the least. She wasn’t a light sleeper by any means but she snores. Heavily.
The accusation only earned a blank look from your boyfriend that soon became a look of something unidentifiable as one of his eyebrows lifted once he fully took in the words. Dan Heng was trying his hardest not to fall into the trap (that honestly sounded amazing in his mind) but he couldn’t help how exhausted his body felt. He turned his back towards you as his skilled hands turned through pages of a book that he was definitely not reading anymore. He had an even better distraction now. “Is that why you were staring me down throughout the entire day? Which was a bit. . concerning from my perspective by the way.”
“Precisely. You need actual sleep instead of just these small power naps.” You shot back almost immediately as Dan Heng swiftly glanced over his shoulder towards you silently for a moment, his longer hair moving in sync with the head turn.
“I feel as though you have an ulterior motive with this.” He accused this time around. But, you knew that he wasn’t upset by any means. If anything, this was just his way of playing along. However your eyes kept staring slightly at the dark circles under your boyfriend’s eyes.
“And so what if I do? I see nothing wrong with rooming with you instead of March for the night. Besides,” You trailed off as you took a couple steps closer towards Dan Heng, his gaze unwavering but still appeared to be softer the closer you had gotten. Now, your tired eyes can finally take a good look at him. You more so became a bit close towards his back so you could be face to face.
“Just who are you to deny me anything without you eventually giving in?” You finished saying but this time in a quieter tone. That earned a slight chuckle and smile to emit from him.
“I suppose I have no choice but to indulge, do I?” He said, only in amusement this time. However the more he spoke, he definitely had a more of a drowsy tone than earlier when he spoke. All of this distracting was actually making his system realize just how much sleep he wanted— no, needed is the better word to use.
You only nodded and slowly slipped the book out of Dan Heng’s hands, closing it and putting it down on a nearby desk before taking one of his hands and practically dragging him towards the bed. It was big enough, surely it could fit both of you. Meanwhile, Dan Heng was still reeling about how he basically agreed to something as intimate as this. He had never done something even remotely close to this before you came into his life so it made just a small hint of blush appear on his otherwise stoic face.
The idea of cuddling in the beautiful night sky— or well, space felt a bit too romantic for him but if it made you happy then Dan Heng wouldn’t fully disagree with it. He would be okay with it. So when you had laid down first, he didn’t hesitate to accompany you right beside you. Dan Heng couldn’t deny how odd and awkward this was a first. You took the lead and eventually sought him out and brought him closer and into your arms, which you tell that surprised him heavily from how his breath hitched in your ear. Both of your legs tangling themselves with Dan Hen’s legs. It was awkward at first but, after a bit of shifting around, a comfortable position and spot was found for the both of you.
“Tense,” You noted out loud. He practically side eyed you with a half hearted attempt of relaxing his tense body and soon genuinely sinking into your embrace and returning it. Dan Heng buried his face into your chest and wrapped his arms around your lower half tightly just so you wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t dare let you leave when he had just become comfortable. It would crush him. “This better?” He muttered quietly. To which you responded with a small nod and a happy hum.
You could feel the earlier drowsiness overtaking your body and, without thinking much, one of your hands came up to the top of Dan Heng’s head. Your fingers slowly carding through the longer black hair, deliberately avoiding his horns to not cause any discomfort. This repeated motion felt as if you were petting him a sense and, unfortunately, Dan Heng loved it. He huffed quietly as he, unfortunately, felt himself leaning into the touch. He had never been like this before so this was definitely a new one for him but he couldn’t help the way that a content noise emitted from him.
The noise that followed soon after was nothing short of a quiet and embarrassed purr.
“Did you just—”
“Let’s not talk about it.” He immediately interrupted and you didn’t even have to completely look at him to know that he was definitely embarrassed and wouldn’t be looking at you any time soon to save his pride. You just dismissively shook your head but otherwise continued to seemingly pet your boyfriend. You could feel his body relaxing even further in your hold and that just made you even more drowsy. You yawned quietly which alerted Dan Heng that you were in the same boat as him. He subconsciously snuggled a bit closer and all of a sudden you felt a weird long and scaly thing wrapping around your waist.
One glance down and you realized that weird sensation that you were feeling was due to the teal and slightly translucent dragon tail that was connected to Dan Heng. You didn’t mind it though but it did spook you at first since it had happened with no warning. Besides, you were too tired to object to it even if you truly wanted to. You just closed your eyes and eventually, your movements came to a halt as your body practically went lax and your breathing had evened out. You were asleep while Dan Heng was still slightly awake. He noticed it immediately and took a small glance towards your sleeping face, ultimately deciding to be a bit brave for this small gesture, and leaned in to press the tiniest but softest kiss upon your forehead. It was as if he was silently saying “Goodnight.” since he hadn’t had the chance to before you fell into dreamland.
After doing that, Dan Heng felt a bit more comfortable with trying to fall asleep now. His head was still filled with an onslaught of swarming thoughts and anxieties but maybe, just maybe, he could put his worries aside for now and just allow himself this one time chance of freedom. He felt relieved when he finally fell asleep.
Dan Heng would have to definitely thank you for your constant insistence. He really needed it. And, most importantly, he needed you.
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thank you for reading <3 have a good day, reblogs & comments are much appreciated !
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© churinzie 2024. ノ all rights reserved
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atomiclena · 1 year ago
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I have no clue how I ended up drawing Tanner from Scrutinized but hey, here we are! 💉🩸
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