#screw you duff

[itneverendshere]

you said i have to trust more freely - r.c series (four)

requested here; (one); (two); three

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader(the duff inspired) word count: 5k

Why did it feel like his stomach dropped out his ass when Nate showed up? 

It wasn’t like he actually expected you to choose him over Nate. The guy was practically perfect—your textbook version of what a guy should be. Clean, nice, predictable. The opposite of him.

But watching you hesitate like you were weighing your options right in front of him? That hurt like a bitch and he hated how much it did.

He couldn’t shake that look in your eyes.

Like you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore. While every time you were around, he didn’t know what the hell he was doing. It’d been like that since the beginning, even back at that party when you tossed your drink in his face after he called you that stupid fucking name. He could still remember the way you glared at him, cheeks flushed and eyes blazing. He’d been a cocky little shit, sure, but that fire in you? It hooked him.

Yeah, he liked messing with you. Always had. But lately, it didn’t feel like just messing around anymore. It felt different. It felt like he was doing it because he didn’t know how else to get close to you.

And now Nate was here, acting like he had some claim. Offering you lunch like it was some kind of test. Rafe should’ve laughed it off. Should’ve let you go. But instead, he was standing there, watching the whole thing go down, and all he wanted to do was grab you by the hand and pull you out of there. Away from Nate. 

Away from all this... bullshit. There he was, full-on spiraling because of a girl. Because of you.

He knew he was developing feelings, had been knowing, which terrified him because it was unfamiliar territory—he was used to being in control and suppressing emotions, not feeling vulnerable or emotionally attached.

Because maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to be the guy you rolled your eyes at anymore. Maybe he was done playing the part of the asshole who didn’t give a fuck. 

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Rafe walked faster, trying to shake off the feeling. But he knew. It was the way you laughed when you were around him, even when you were annoyed. The way you always gave as good as you got. The way you’d looked at him today—like maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as immune to him as you tried to be.

You were off having lunch with Nate.

The safe choice. And if there was one thing Rafe Cameron wasn’t? It was safe. And maybe, deep down, he hoped that was the reason you wouldn’t be able to walk away from him for good.

He kept walking, his footsteps loud in his head, like each step was trying to drown out the voice that was screaming at him to turn around. To go back and say something. Anything. But he didn’t. He wasn’t that guy. Not the one to chase after someone, to make a big scene. No, he was the one who sat back, arms crossed, and watched the whole thing play out like it didn’t bother him. Like it wasn’t tearing him up inside.

Rafe realized he was pissed. Not at Nate. The guy was just playing his part. But at you. No, not really at you either. He was pissed at himself. For letting things get this complicated. For letting you get under his skin the way you had.

It wasn’t like you were his. It wasn’t like he had any right to be jealous.

But damn, the way Nate had just swooped in like it was nothing, like it was so obvious you’d say yes to him. The dude barely had to try, and there you were, actually considering it. Maybe you even wanted him to. He stopped walking, running a hand through his hair, trying to clear his head. 

Screw this. He needed to get out of here, away from the whole situation. Maybe blow off some steam, hit the gym, or go for a drive. But the thought of you sitting there with Nate, laughing, maybe even flirting—it was enough to make his jaw clench.

What if you were actually into that guy? What if all this back-and-forth with him was just... nothing to you? Some game you were playing because you liked the attention, but when it came down to it, you’d always pick someone like Nate?

If you picked Nate, fine. But if there was even a part of you that was feeling the same thing he was—if there was even a chance you weren’t as over him as you pretended to be? He wasn’t going to let you walk away that easily.

Not without a fight.

Rafe dug his phone out of his pocket, stared at the screen for a second. He could text you. Could hit you with some sarcastic line, ask how lunch with Captain America was going, but it felt... small. Petty. And, honestly, he didn’t want to come off as that guy—the jealous, insecure type. But not doing anything felt worse, like he was just letting things slip through his fingers.

He leaned against a nearby fence, staring off into the distance. Part of him was waiting for some kind of sign. Like maybe you’d ditch Nate and text him instead. Maybe you’d realize that this whole thing with Nate was boring, that you needed something more. 

Or maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you’d laugh and smile at Nate’s predictable jokes, and that’d be it. You’d pick the guy, the one your friends would probably approve of. The one who didn’t make you feel like you were on a rollercoaster every time you were around him.

Rafe kicked the fence post. He hated this. Hated feeling out of control, like someone else was calling the shots. Like you were making choices that didn’t involve him.

And yet, there he was. Waiting.

He was about two seconds away from hurling his phone into the bushes when it buzzed in his hand. His heart actually stopped for a second. No way. There was no way.

He glanced at the screen, and there it was—your name, lighting up his phone.

Every instinct told him to play it cool. Let it ring a few times, don’t seem desperate. But his hand moved on its own, thumb swiping across the screen before he could stop it. He brought the phone up to his ear, heart hammering in his chest, trying to sound normal.

“Yeah?” he said, trying to keep his voice steady, like he wasn’t dying inside.

And just like that, everything else—Nate, the frustration, the whole stupid back-and-forth—faded into the background. Because right now, you were calling him.

Lunch with Nate was proving to be exactly what you expected: normal. easy. boring.

He talked about his classes, his weekend plans, asked you a couple of questions about your own. And you answered, smiling, nodding, doing all the things you were supposed to do. But your mind? It was somewhere else entirely.

It was with Rafe. With the way he looked at you before he left, like he was daring you to stop him. Like maybe he wanted you to say something, anything, to keep him from walking out. And as much as you tried to ignore it, that little flutter in your chest hadn’t gone away.

“So, how’s studying going?” Nate asked, pulling you back to the conversation.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s fine. Just... a lot,” you mumbled, forcing a smile.

Nate raised an eyebrow, clearly picking up on the fact that you weren’t all there. “You sure? You seem a little distracted.”

You hesitated, your mind flashing back to Rafe. To the way he’d been so close to you during your study session, leaning in like he had every intention of pushing your buttons. But it wasn’t just that. It was the way he’d talked about the bonfire, about seeing you as more than just someone to mess with. And for the first time, it felt like maybe Rafe wasn’t just a flirt. Maybe he was actually trying to tell you something.

“I’m fine,” you lied, stabbing at your sandwich with way too much enthusiasm.

But you weren’t fine. Not even close.

You knew why. Sitting here with Nate, everything felt... off. It was like you were trying to make this picture-perfect version of your life fit, but the edges weren’t lining up. You were supposed to want this—supposed to be happy that the guy you’d been into for months was finally showing interest. But instead, all you could think about was Rafe. About the way your heart had sped up when he looked at you, the way his voice dropped when he was being serious, when he wasn’t hiding behind that smirk.

God, why couldn’t you stop thinking about him?

Nate cleared his throat, snapping you out of it again. “You sure you’re good? You’ve been pretty quiet.”

You bit your lip, nodding, but it was like the words were stuck in your throat. “Yeah. Just... got a lot on my mind, I guess.”

Like how you might’ve just let Rafe walk away.

Nate didn’t push it, and part of you was relieved. The other part? It was screaming at you to stop pretending. To be honest, at least with yourself. Because the truth was, as much as you wanted to want Nate, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Rafe was the one you should’ve been sitting with right now.

And that scared you. Because choosing Rafe meant choosing chaos. It meant diving headfirst into something that had no guarantees, something that could blow up in your face. But it also meant feeling alive. Because with him, everything was more intense. More real.

As you and Nate left the sandwich shop, walking back to campus, you couldn’t help but glance around, half-expecting to see Rafe somewhere. But he wasn’t there. He was gone, and now you were stuck wondering if maybe you’d just made a huge mistake.

Nate smiled, oblivious to the storm inside your head. “So, you wanna do this again sometime?”

Your heart sank a little at the question. Because the answer should’ve been a yes, no hesitation. But instead, all you could think about was Rafe. About how you wished you were with him, laughing, arguing, feeling that electric tension that seemed to hang in the air whenever he was around.

You swallowed, forcing a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

But as the words left your mouth, you knew you were lying.

And Nate, being Nate, didn’t seem to notice. He was still smiling, probably thinking the lunch went fine, like everything was falling into place just the way he thought it should. But you? Your mind was miles away, stuck on other guy and the way he’d left without looking back.

You felt like you should say something to him, like you should be more present in the moment, but every time you opened your mouth, nothing came out. 

Did you really want Nate? Or had you just been chasing the idea of him this whole time because it was easy, because it was safe? Because he was the kind of guy you grew up thinking you should be with?

But then there was Rafe. And the more you tried to push him out of your head, the more he stayed there, taking up space, making everything with Nate feel... dull in comparison.

“So, I was thinking,” Nate said, breaking the silence, “Maybe we could check out that movie this weekend? You know, the one you mentioned a while back?”

His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you blinked, trying to focus. “Oh. Yeah, maybe.”

But the truth was, you didn’t care about the movie. You didn’t care about any of it right now.

“Hey, you okay?” Nate’s voice snapped you back again, his eyes narrowing in concern.

You plastered on a smile, nodding quickly. “Yeah, sorry. Just... distracted, I guess.”

 “Well, if you’re busy this weekend, we can always reschedule.”

“I’ll let you know,” you replied, hoping he wouldn’t push it any further.

Nate nodded, but you could tell he wasn’t convinced. And honestly?

Neither were you.

By the time you made it back to your dorm, you were mentally exhausted. Nate had left with a casual wave and a promise to text you later, but as soon as he was out of sight, you let out a long breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

You sat on the edge of your bed, staring at your phone like a fucking idiot. But no messages came in, no missed calls from Rafe or anyone else. It was just you, sitting there, replaying the whole afternoon in your head.

Why did everything feel so wrong with Nate? He was supposed to be the plan. He was supposed to be your choice. The easy, right choice.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed in your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts. Your heart jumped in your chest as you glanced down, half-expecting it to be Rafe. But it wasn’t. It was Nate, sending a follow-up text about the weekend plans.

You stared at the message for a long moment, your thumb hovering over the keyboard.

What were you doing? Why were you still holding onto this idea of Nate when your heart was clearly somewhere else? Somewhere messy, complicated, and... dangerous.

Before you could stop yourself, you closed out of Nate’s message and opened Rafe’s contact. Your thumb hovered over his name for a second before you hit "Call."

The phone rang once. Twice. Your heart pounded in your chest as the seconds dragged on. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you should just hang up before he—

“Yeah?” Rafe’s voice came through the line, a little gruff but unmistakable.

You froze for a second, suddenly unsure of what to say. But then you took a deep breath. “Hey, uh... you busy?”

There was a pause, and you could almost hear the smirk in his voice. “What, finally realizing Nate’s not as fun as you thought?”

 “Something like that.”

There was a beat of silence, and you thought maybe he was going to tease you some more. But then his voice softened, just like it had earlier. “You wanna meet up?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Yeah. I think I do.”

Another pause, and then: “Same spot?”

You knew exactly what he meant. The library, third floor, in the corner where you’d been studying. You nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I’ll be there.”

“See you in a few.”

And just like that, the line went dead. What had you just done? 

You hung up, heart racing like you’d just agreed to do something you weren’t supposed to. But wasn’t that the whole point? This thing with Rafe—it was unpredictable, messy, and completely off-script. 

As you grabbed your jacket and headed out the door, you couldn't help but feel like you were crossing some kind of line. With Nate, things were clear-cut, easy. But with Rafe? It was like stepping into the unknown. You knew there was a chance this whole thing could blow up in your face, but for once, you didn’t care.

You wanted real. You wanted fire. And right now, that was Rafe.

As you walked to the library, the campus around you blurred, your thoughts spinning back to every moment you’d had with him. Every teasing comment, every cocky grin, every time he’d gotten under your skin without even trying. Maybe you had been pretending with Nate—pretending to want something you were never actually sure about.

But with Rafe? You weren’t pretending. Even when it terrified you.

When you reached the third floor of the library, it was quiet, almost too quiet. Your footsteps echoed as you made your way to the spot you both knew so well. And there he was, leaning back in his chair like he didn’t have a care in the world, like he wasn’t the reason you’d been tied up in knots all day.

You rolled your eyes and crossed the room, dropping into the chair across from him. “Don’t start,” you warned, though the edge in your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be.

Rafe’s grin widened. “What, can’t handle me being right for once?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Right about what? You being a total pain in my ass? Sure, I’ll give you that.”

He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand like he was amused by your whole existence. “C’mon, you know why you’re here.”

“So,” you started, trying to act casual, like your heart wasn’t pounding out of your chest. “I guess lunch with Nate didn’t really do it for me.”

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up in amusement. “No shit. Figured as much.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the smile that crept up. “Why are you so smug about it?”

“Because,” he said, leaning forward, resting his elbows on the table, “I knew you’d come back.”

Your breath caught in your throat at how sure he sounded.

Of course he knew. That cocky, self-assured grin of his said it all. He’d been waiting for this moment—waiting for you to realize what he had probably known all along.

And damn if it didn’t piss you off.

You sat down across from him, trying to hold onto the last shreds of your resolve, but it was slipping. Fast. Because the way he was looking at you? Like he was daring you to admit what you were really feeling—it was messing with your head.

“So, what now?” you asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Rafe crossed his arms, biceps bulging in his stupid polo, like he was giving you all the space in the world to figure it out. “That’s up to you.”

That’s the thing about him—he could act all indifferent, like he wasn’t bothered, but you could see it. There was something behind his eyes, just barely kept in check. And it wasn’t nothing. It wasn’t just some game to him. Not anymore.

But you weren’t ready to give him that satisfaction. Not yet. 

“What makes you so sure I’m not just here to tell you I’m picking Nate?”

That smirk faltered for just a second. “You’re not.”

You couldn’t be. 

“How do you know?”

“Because if you were, you wouldn’t have called me.”

The way he said it—so simple, so damn certain—made your heart skip. He was right, and you hated that he knew it. Hated that he had this pull on you that no one else ever had. But at the same time, you couldn’t deny the truth. Not when it was staring you in the face, wearing a smug expression and leaning back like he had all the time in the world.

“What if I did?” you shot back, still trying to hold your ground.

He shrugged, that infuriating grin never leaving his face. “Then I guess I’d have to live with that. But I’m not worried.”

Lies.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “You’re so damn cocky, you know that?”

“I’ve been told,” he said with a wink.

You wanted to roll your eyes again, to act like he wasn’t getting to you. But he was. And he knew it.

You rested your elbows on the table, your eyes meeting his. “And what if I told you I wasn’t sure? What if I told you I’m still figuring it out?”

He didn’t flinch. Didn’t move. Just kept his eyes locked on yours, like he was seeing right through the bullshit. “Then I’d tell you to take your time. Figure it out.”

The way he said it—so calm, so sure—made your stomach twist. He wasn’t asking you to pick him. He was daring you to. Because Rafe didn’t do half-measures. He didn’t do safe. He was all or nothing, and right now? He was putting it all on the table.

All you could think about was the way your heart was hammering in your chest, the way every part of you was screaming that this—this—was what you really wanted.

And that’s when it hit you: you weren’t scared of Rafe. You were scared of how much you wanted him.

“Rafe, I—” You stopped yourself, unsure of where you were even going with that.

His expression softened, just a fraction. “What? What do you want to say?”

You wanted to say everything. That you weren’t just messing with him anymore either, that you couldn’t stop thinking about him, that you were tired of pretending like Nate was some perfect choice when he wasn’t even in the same league. But saying all that? To someone who hurt you so much before?

He had that look, like he knew exactly what was going through your mind but was giving you space to figure it out on your own. But you weren’t sure. You weren’t sure if you were ready to say it out loud. Admitting how much Rafe meant to you felt like letting him win, like handing him all the power. And after everything, after all the back-and-forth, you didn’t want to be that vulnerable. Not with him.

“I know I’ve been an asshole,” he started, almost hesitant. “All those years, the shit I said—it wasn’t right. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve that.”

Your breath caught in your throat. 

He ran a hand through his hair, like he was trying to figure out how to keep going. “I just... I don’t know. It was easier to push you away, to act like I didn’t give a fuck, you know? Like messing with you made it better somehow. But it didn’t.” He paused, his voice softening. “It made me feel like shit.”

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t. You just sat there, staring at him, trying to process the fact that Rafe Cameron—Rafe—was apologizing.

He swallowed, looking down for a second before meeting your eyes again.

 “I know I’m a mess. Hell, I’ve always been a mess. And I get why you’d pick someone like Nate. The guy who won’t make you lose sleep wondering what the hell is going on.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “But the truth is, I fucked up. I’ve been fucking up since the beginning. With you, with us. And I hate that I did that." He pushed back slightly, running a hand over his face like he was frustrated with himself. “I’m not good with this... with feelings. With being upfront. But I’m trying, okay? I’m trying to figure it out. I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that or trust me after everything I’ve pulled. But I want you to know I’m not the same guy I was back then. It sounds fucking insane, but I’m not. I want to be better. For you. Because, fuck, I don’t want to lose you to some guy just because I couldn’t admit I was scared of this—of us.”

You bit your lip, not trusting yourself to speak just yet.

“And look, I know I’ve made it hard for you to believe me,” he said, his voice softer now, more honest than you’d ever heard him. “But you should know that you’re not just some game to me. Not anymore. You’re... everything I’ve been too afraid to want.”

The guy who spent years acting like nothing could touch him, like he was untouchable, was now sitting across from you, pouring his heart out. And you had no idea what to say.

Your mind was racing. It felt like everything you thought you knew about him, about what you were feeling, was suddenly flipped upside down. You'd always assumed Rafe would never be the guy who’d sit down and admit he was scared of something, especially not scared of you.

But here he was, looking like he was waiting for you to say something—anything.

What? What were you even supposed to say? That you forgave him? That you didn’t? That you were still figuring out how you felt about everything? You weren’t even sure yourself. But you did know one thing—whatever this was—it was real. 

You couldn’t deny that anymore.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just needed you to know that I’m not going to play around anymore. Not with you.”

Your heart clenched at that. And the thing was, you could see it in his eyes—he meant it. There was no teasing smirk, no cocky attitude. Just him. Raw and real and honest in a way that caught you completely off guard.

And suddenly, you realized that was what scared you the most. Not Rafe, but the way he made you feel. The way he pushed you to stop pretending, to be real, even when it terrified you.

You stared at him, feeling like your brain was short-circuiting. He was spilling his guts to you. It felt... unreal, and you were torn between wanting to laugh and maybe freak out a little.

All you could think was, How the hell am I supposed to handle this? This wasn’t what you were expecting. Not from him.

“So, what,” you started, leaning back a bit, trying to keep your voice casual, “you’re just, like, a totally different person now? Is this the part where you tell me you’ve been secretly going to therapy or something?”

Rafe’s lips twitched, but he didn’t fully smile. “No, not exactly,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “But... I’ve been trying to figure shit out. With myself. With us.”

With us. Your stomach did this stupid little flip at that, but you ignored it. “That’s a big statement, Cameron. You’ve had, like, two whole epiphanies and suddenly you’ve got everything figured out?”

He sighed, “I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out, alright? I’m just trying to be honest for once. I’m done screwing around with you.”

His tone was sincere, and as much as you wanted to keep teasing him, the look in his eyes made your throat tighten a bit. You shifted in your seat, your mind running a million miles an hour.

“I mean, I guess that’s an improvement,” you muttered, keeping it light even though your heart was pounding.

Rafe raised an eyebrow. “You guess?”

“Well, yeah,” you said, crossing your arms and giving him a pointed look. “You were, let’s see, kind of a dick for a long time.”

He didn’t argue. “Yeah. I was.”

That caught you off guard. No defense, no excuses. Just... agreement. 

“Okay, so... what now?” you asked, trying to play it cool. “You apologize, and I just forget all the crap from before? You’re really not making this easy,” you said, trying to keep your tone light, but your voice betrayed you, sounding a little too soft.

Rafe shrugged, that little smirk threatening to return. “Didn’t think you wanted easy.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to keep your composure. “You think you know me so well, huh?”

“Better than you think.”

Your heart raced. “Right, because I just love being confused and frustrated. It’s my favorite hobby.”

He chuckled, clearly enjoying this back-and-forth. “Well, you could always just admit that you’re intrigued. That might save us both some time.”

“Intrigued? Please. More like I’m questioning my life choices.”

Rafe leaned forward, “Hey, at least it’s not boring, right? I mean, look at us. This is way more interesting than whatever you were doing with Nate.”

You couldn’t argue with that. “True. But interesting doesn’t mean it’s not a total trainwreck waiting to happen.”

“Maybe,” he said, “But it could also mean something different.”

 “You’re really pulling out all the stops, huh?” you said, trying to lighten the mood again. “What’s next? A serenade?”

“Actually, I’m not a bad singer,” he quipped, flashing that trademark grin. “But I think I’ll spare you the performance for now.”

“Wow, I’m overwhelmed by the humility.”

He chuckled softly, “You love it. And you know it.”

There it was again—the way he said things like it was a fact, like he could read you better than you could read yourself. And the worst part? He wasn’t exactly wrong.

“You don’t know everything about me, Rafe,” you said, your voice quieter now, but not weak. 

His smile softened, just barely, like he heard what you weren’t saying out loud. 

“Maybe not everything. But enough to know you’re not here by accident.”

It was easier to blame the pull he had on you. But deep down, you knew it wasn’t just him. You were here because something between the two of you, no matter how messy, no matter how confusing, felt unfinished.

You crossed your arms, trying to gain some control of the situation. “You’re awfully confident for someone who doesn’t have all the answers.”

“Not all of them,” he agreed, leaning back in his chair again, “But I know enough to know I’m not letting you go without a fight.”

There it was. That line you didn’t know you were waiting for. The line that said this wasn’t just some flirty game for him anymore. That maybe he was as scared of losing you as you were of admitting how much you wanted him.

And in that moment, sitting across from him, with all his defenses down and no jokes left to deflect with, you realized something terrifying: you weren’t ready to walk away either.

“Well,” you said, your voice softer, “I guess we’ll see if you’re really up for it, won’t we?”

His eyes locked onto yours, something serious flickering there for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah. We will.”

[lizardboiii]

XOXO, UR DUFF♡

꒰ ft. Kuroo Tetsurō x reader x Bokuto Kōtarō, slight Oikawa Tōru x reader

synopsis: finding out Aoba Johsai High School's volleyball team refers to you as the school's duff sends you into a teenaged panic. your two childhood friends take it upon themselves to help you out. the opposite of a duff? a slut.

cw: NSFW, 18+, hurt/comfort, threesome, dom/sub undertones, dumbification, slut shaming, non-con coercion, double pentration, all characters are represented as 18/19 yrs old

wc: 2.7k

"Like any unloved thing, I don't know if I'm real when I'm not being touched." - Natalie Wee

Maybe you soared too high - beared your teeth too wide. The fall from grace was longer than the climb, allowing scotching shame to burn away any feelings you still carried. Oikawa Tōru had played you for a fool. 

Otherwise, after a week of walking you to class and buttering up your fragile heart. He wouldn't have asked you if your best friend, Emi, was single. 

Propping himself up on your desk, Oikawa’s thick hands supported the bulk of his weight. His form seemingly dripped with unease. If you listened closely enough, you could hear the sound of his sneakers shifting beneath him. 

You hated every moment of it.

The star volleyball captain had just made it clear he never had any intentions of courting you. All he saw was a gateway to Emi. An easy in.

You paused for just a moment. Thoughts of confronting the man above you ate at your skin. You wanted to scream. Rage at him. Ask him why he led you on. He could have easily asked out Emi without your assistance. Was there a reason to ask you other than to be cruel?

But you didn't. 

Instead you smiled warmly, swallowing your pride, “Ya, Emi’s single.”

Oikawa’s grin brightened, “You can put in a good word for me right? Since we're friends n’ all?”

The corner of your mouth twitched.

“Of course.”

・❥・

A kick to the front leg of your desk rattled the metal. You flinched at the noise. Body tensing, you refused to greet the offender. Finding it easier to stay hidden in your arms on top of your desk.

“What’s up with you?”

Teary eyed, you finally looked up from your crossed arms to the deep voice above you, Iwaizumi Hajime. You internally groaned at the sight of him. Iwaizumi was the last person you wanted to see right now, aside from his flamboyant captain.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “I think Oikawa likes Emi.”

Iwaizumi huffed, “I ​​could've guessed that.”

“What?” You searched his eyes for an answer, “You knew?”

“Ya,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Whole team does.”

Clenching your teeth, you balled your hands in frustration, “Then why did he even bother talking to me? He should've just went straight to her!”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “It's probably because you're her Duff.”

You felt the pit in your stomach drop, “Her what?”

“Ya know, her Duff. Designated Ugly Fat Friend,” he said it as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

The information hit you like a truck, “Excuse me!? I am not her “Duff”!”

Iwaizumi shifted uncomfortably, “Hate to break it to you, but…I think everyone is aware you’re Emi’s Duff other than yourself.” 

You fake laughed, “I think I'd know if people were calling me that.”

“It's not that big a deal. Just means you're more approachable,” he searched for his next words, “I mean it's easier to ask you if Emi’s single rather than face the embarrassment if not.”

Iwaizumi’s statement left you breathless, “Face the embarrassment? What about me!? Oikawa led me on for a week just to ask if Emi was single!”

He brushed you off, “It’s not like you're the only one. Girls come up to the team all the time to ask about Oikawa.”

Seething, you stood up from your chair haphazardly, “You know what? Screw you!” The screech of your chair echoed across the room, “I’m not just some thoughtless NCP you guys can use to help get laid!”

Iwaizumi frowned, “You know I didn't mean it like that.”

You didn't bother to respond, favoring to storm out of the mostly empty classroom. You’d prove to them all you could be more than just Emi’s Duff. You just needed to figure out how to first.

・❥・

“Can you believe he said that to me?!” Sitting on top of Bokuto’s bed, you straddled the pillow you were holding in anger, “I am not a Duff!”

Bokuto hummed below you, focusing more on the controller in his hand rather than what you were saying, “Didn’tcha only go on one date?”

Cackling, Kuroo bumped shoulders with Bokuto, “There wasn’t even a date. He just walked her tah’ class.”

Your face burned, “He carried my books! Who does that other than someone who cares!?”

Kuroo tilted his face back at you, resting his head on the bed, “Yer’ joking, right?”

Frowning, you swiped at Kuroo’s face with the pillow in your hands. The comb head merely caught the pancaked pillow with his dominant hand, ripping the fabric away from you. Then, he shot the pillow at your head, hard. You reacted quickly, lifting your hands up in defense. The pillow thumped pathetically against your forearms. 

Flipping him off, you tossed the pillow back at the headboard, “You always play too rough!”

A wild grin plastered itself on his face, “What? I thought girls liked it rough?”

You threw him a disgusted look, “Don’t be a freak.”

Chuckling, Kuroo’s already large smile grew impossibly wider. Clearly satisfied at your obvious discomfort.

Groaning at Kuroo’s smug smirk, you flopped backward on the bed, “It’s not fair! Emi always has a boyfriend and I’ve yet to have even one.” You emphasized the number with your finger.

Passing off the controller, Bokuto stretched his hands above his head, “Who cares? Ya don’t need a boyfriend anyways,” He pointed a thumb at himself, “You got us!”

“Says you! Both you and Ku have had girlfriends,” You flipped onto your stomach, “I feel like I'm missing out.”

Lip curled, Bokuto threw himself on top of the bed and grabbed your smaller form, “Aww, our poor sweet (y/n)!”

You wrestled against his tight bear hug, “Lemme’ go, Airhead!”

Bokuto smiled, “Never!”

Your legs intertwined as you tried to slither free from Bokuto’s relentless hold. However, the older male easily subdued you. Pushing and pulling you every which way. Eventually, Bokuto relented and slid you into his lab, wrapping his arms around your midriff. 

You huffed at his antics. It wasn't the first time Bokuto forced you into his lab - and you were sure it wasn't the last. Yet, that didn't stop the way your heart squeezed when his chest pressed up against your back. Or the way you shivered when he slotted his head into the crook of your neck.

It certainly didn't stop the way you secretly liked how Kuroo watched.

Face burning, you chewed on your lip. You were sick. Friends shouldn't be thinking this way about each other. Especially not when you have known eachother since diapers. You internally sighed. It's not like they'd be interested in you anyways. Who’d want to be with a designated Duff?

“Sometimes I wish I was more like Emi...”

The thought slipped out of your mouth without your brain's approval. Meek and mild. Your quiet voice sent the room into an abrupt silence. You had little time to curse at yourself before Kuroo’s uncontrollable laughter broke through the stillness. 

Dropping the gaming controller, Kuroo moved calculatedly. His toned body slowly crawling its way on top of the bed, joining you and Bokuto. Your breath hitched at the sight. If you didn't know any better, you thought you might be eaten alive.

Kuroo reached you at an agonizing pace. His hands moved to rest on your knees while Bokuto’s stayed on your waist, “Ya wanna’ be like Emi, huh?”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you ignored the close proximity, “She always gets so much attention. I just wanna know what that feels like. Just once.”

Sulking, you missed the subtle glance Kuroo and Bokuto exchanged. Sly and cunning. The grip of their calloused hands tightened ever so slightly.

“Ya know why Emi keeps gettin’ so much attention?” 

Sinking back into Bokuto, you swallowed, “Because she's pretty?”

“Nope,” Kuroo’s grin widened as he slotted himself between your legs, “It’s ‘cause she’s a slut.”

Slut.

The word made your heart pang, “E-Emi’s not like that!”

Kuroo let out a scoff, “Course’ she is. You wanna be like that? A slut?”

Squirming, you tried to remove Kuroo from in between your legs. An action proving to be difficult very quickly, “No! I just don’t wanna be the school’s Duff anymore!”

Unimpressed, Kuroo’s large hands hooked under your knees and wrapped your legs around his waist. You only struggled harder. The thought of being trapped between the two large men was starting to make your head spin. 

Writhing in Bokuto’s hold, you halted when he groaned softly in your ear, “...Bo?”

“Look at that, Kitten,” Kuroo kneaded the fat of your thigh, “Already practicing.”

Bokuto buried his face deeper into your neck, nipping at the skin, “Ya wanna practice that bad, sweetheart?”

“I think she does, Bo,” Kuroo laughed cruelly, “Just look at her. Gettin’ ya hard already.”

Bokuto whined, “Can’t help it. She keeps rubbin’ that plump ass against my dick.”

On que, Bokuto’s hands shifted from your waist to your hips. His thick digits dug into your skin as he began to move your hips for you. Grinding his half hard cock into your clothed ass.

Your face was a molten red at the action, “Stop!”

“Please, sweetheart. Feels so good,” Bokuto’s words slurred as he grinded your bodies together.

You mewled, “We can’t!”

Kuroo snatched you chin, forcing your attention back on him, “Thought you were tired of bein’ the Duff?”

You could feel the beginnings of tears brimming your eyes, “I am!”

He smiled sickly sweet, “How are you gonna prove um’ wrong if ya can’t even do this?”

Swallowing thickly, your lips quivered, “I’m scared.”

Kuroo bore a mocking expression, “Sluts don’t get scared.”

Your whimper was cut off by Kuroo’s plump lips. The kiss was sloppy, desperate even. Kuroo’s tongue exploring your mouth like he owned it. Immediately, his hand found its way into your hair, tugging you further into the kiss. You cried against his mouth. Clutching at his wrist, you held on as he devoured you. 

Below you Bokuto shifted. His hand plunged its way into his sweats, pulling out his weeping cock, “Ku, lemme’ lift her up.”

Kuroo pulled away from your mouth, a string of saliva following in suit, “So impatient you owl bastard.”

You had little time to gasp for air as Bokuto’s hands replaced Kuroo’s. His hands wrapped under the pits of your knees swifty. Lifting up your legs, you gasped when his exposed cock made contact with your thin shorts. 

“Bo, wait!”

Bokuto ignored your small pleas. Sliding his cock against the fabric, he traced the shape of your pussy, “Sweetheart, you’ll lemme’ put it in, right?”

You squeaked when he tried to push up, the fabric of your shorts keeping him out, “You can’t go in raw!”

Bokuto groaned when Kuroo clutched his length, rubbing him harder against your slowly dampening shorts. You whined at the attention. Your hole clenching everytime Kuroo massaged your clit with the head of Bokuto’s cock.

Kuroo purred, “Ya feel that, Kitten? See how good yer makin’ Bo feel?

A sobbed rocked through your chest, “No.”

Clicking his tongue, Kuroo pulled at the hem of your shorts, “Still playin’ difficult, slut?”

You suddenly regretted wearing such short shorts. Kuroo managed to pull them off you in record time, only readjusting Bokuto’s hold on you once. As quickly as the shorts were off - Bokuto was on you.

The head of his cock slid against your folds with an obscene sound, “Please lemme’ put it in, sweetheart. Please, please.” You could feel his hips snap against your ass every time he slid up and down your pussy.

The cord in your stomach slowly began to pull. The feeling of his cock rubbing against your clit was almost enough to send you over the edge. You wanted more. No. You needed more.

Whimpering, your breath hitched as his cock prodded your entrance, “Bo, please!”

“Ya hear that, Bo?” You could hear the smirk on Kuroo’s face, “Slut needs a fat cock to fill ‘er up.”

Growling, Bokuto wasted no time before shoving his cock into your entrance. You cried out at the intrusion. Unprepared, your tight hole stretched painfully around his cock. It felt as if he had split you in two.

Kuroo hushed your cries, “Poor, Kitten. I’ll make it better.” His fingers made their way to your dripping pussy, circling your neglected clit.

“Ku!” You moaned at the touch. The burning sensation in your torn hole was slowly replaced by dull pleasure.

“So tight for me, Sweetheart,” Bokuto slowly pulled out before slamming back in, “So fuckin’ perfect.”

You shuddered at his words, “Too much!”

Sucking on your neck, Bokuto groaned, “Just gettin’ started.”

You flinched when Kuroo’s fingers traced down from your clit to your entrance. His caloused pointer nudged at your puffy hole.

“Look how much yer’ stretchin’ her, Bo,” He slowly added a finger to your already stuffed entrance, “Bet we can stretch it further.”

You sobbed at the invasion, “It won’t fit!”

Kuroo’s darkened eyes made you squirm, “We’ll make it fit.”

One finger soon turned into three as Kuroo worked your already sore pussy open. You wailed loudly. Finally, the feeling of fingers leaving your hole made you sign in relief. The full feeling in your stomach slightly dissipating. 

Until you felt something much larger.

Kuroo placed his hand on your waist as he lined the head of his cock against your hole. You tensed at the sight. Bokuto hissed in your ear, surprised by the sudden clench of your pussy.

“Loosen up, Sweetheart,” Bokuto kissed the crown of your head

A small mewl escaped your lips, “There's no way!”

The men above you rubbed small circles into your skin, attempting to relax your tensed muscles. You moaned at the affection. Body loosening, you shoved your face into Kuroo’s chest as he pushed in.

“There we go, Sweetheart. So good fer' us,” Bokuto hummed against the back of your neck.

The initial stretch of your walls burned intensely. Even with prep, you still felt like you’d tear up the middle.

 “So full,” you mumbled incoherently. Unable to focus on anything other than the cocks filling your already bullied hole.

“Gonna start movin’, kay?” Kuroo’s cock bottomed out before you could even respond. 

They moved opposite of eachother. Bokuto’s cock slamming deep into your pussy while Kuroo’s dragged out of your weeping hole painfully slow. It was enough to drive you insane. You moaned shamelessly, far too drunk on cock to care how slutty you looked.

“Yer’ takin’ us so well, kitten,” Kuroo bit into your neck, leaving a trail of marks, “Like you were made for this.”

You quivered under his touch, “Want more, please.”

Bokuto’s hands slithered under your shirt, “Ya already want more?” His hands moved to unclasp your bra, “Such a slut.”

You bit your lip as Bokuto found his way to your sensitive buds, “Yes, sir.”

“Sir?” Bokuto licked up your neck, “Ya hear that, Ku? She really was meant tah’ be a slut.”

You could barely comprehend Kuroo’s response. Your ears felt like they were filled with cotton as the pressure in your stomach increased. Instinctively, your hips jerked against their movements. You were so close.

“Need tah’ cum, Kitten?” Kuroo fisted your hair, “Ya gotta ask nicely.”

Hot tears streamed down your face at the unreleased pressure in your abdomen, “Please let me cum, sir. Please, I wanna cum so bad.”

Kuroo traced his tongue up your cheek, savoring the salty taste, “Whaddya’ think, Bo? Should the slut be allowed to cum?”

Bokuto traced his fingers from your breast to your clit, “Maybe just this once.”

The chord in your stomach snapped as soon as you were granted permission. Head thrown back, a porn star moan fell from your lips. Your vision went white with pleasure. Long and intense, you trembled in Bokuto’s hold. 

Your chest heaved as your legs gave out, yet Kuroo and Bokuto remained relentless. Continuing their abuse on your sloppy pussy, they pushed you further over the edge.

You whined in overstimulation, “No more.”

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Bokuto ran his fingers through your hair, “We ain't done yet.”

Your eyes widened, “W-what?”

Kuroo smirked, “We haven't cum yet, Slut.”

・❥・

[unknownperson246]

a/n: had this dream last night about duff mckagan and if you’re comfy with it ofc you can turn it into a fic: 18 year old f!reader in her last hour of her shift (she’s a waitress) and she ends up working with duff and susan’s table and freaks out because she never expected them to end up at the restaurant she works at. she gets even more surprised when they both want to take her home, and she says fuck it and goes with them. it was a cuckquean thing in my dream but you can change it to a threesome where duff bends the reader over a table or counter or something and fuck the shit out of her with breeding kink involved too. also degradation. once again, please skip if don’t want to write it/can’t/are uncomfortable. either way i hope you have a great day <3

Hi I’m so so sorry it’s late but I hope you enjoy it ❤️

The Notepad:

Words: 921 Warnings: *smut* *threesome* *p in v* *oral sex* *f receiving* *come play* *come eating* *breeding kink* *degradation* *nipple play*

✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙

You were working as a waitress in a restaurant where lots of people come and go. You were in the last hour of your shift when this blonde couple came in. There was a tall muscular blonde man with black sunglasses on. He took them off. The lady had a black leather coat on and she took it off. You didnt recognize them at first. They were placed at a table you were told to go take their order. 

“Hi, what would you guys like to order?” You asked them with a warm smile.

“Hi Y/N” the man looked at your name tag.

You grabbed your pen and notepad out of your aprons pocket. You didn’t care to look at their face while they were ordering. You didnt realize you were being rude but you needed to concentrate. Instead of looking at them, you were focused on writing into your notepad. 

“Wait a second” You mumbled to yourself.

You looked up and it was Duff from Guns N’ Roses and Susan Duff’s wife who is a model.

“Oh my-” Your face turned pale and you were cut off by Duff.

“Screw dinner. Y/N we’d like to invite you to our home” Duff said looking at you and then his wife Susan with a smile.

“Holy shit” You start to freak out internally.

“What do I say?” You ask yourself.

You realized this chance would never come again.

“Fuck it. Yes, I will be honored to go with you guys.” You said to Susan and Duff.

Susan gave you a quick peck on the lips and you blushed. Susan and Duff really liked you. Once you were in their lavish car Susan drove it. You held on to your coat. Duff was in the back seat with you. He was eyeing you and kissing your neck. His hands went down to your tits. You kissed Duff on the neck and pulled your bra off. Duff was doing this so your pussy was wet by the time you got home. He touched your clit over your pants trying to feel how wet you were. He didnt realize he couldn't feel it because of your pants Susan looked back at you both. 

“Hey, no fair. You guys are having fun without me” She huffed as she continued driving.

“It’s okay babe. I will fuck you both at the same time when we get home” Duff groaned while playing with your bouncing tits.

“Fuck Duff” You cry out as you feel his hands groping your sensitive nipples.

Soon all three of you guys get to Duffs and Susan's huge mansion. You got out with just your shirt and pants on while your panties and bra were in your left hand. Duff unlocked the door the house was huge. Susan and Duff showed you upstairs. Their bedroom was extravagant. You dreamed of a house like this with nice furniture and expensive clothes and jewelry. Duff threw Susan on the bed. Duff ate her out while her lips were all over your face. She was face fucking you while Duff was eating his wife out. She put your hands on her. Duff was done with her. He pulled his large dick out. Susan got up and watched Duff and you with excitement. She started jerking off watching the two of you doing it. You were already ready and he put his dick at your enterance. You could feel his tip touching you. He started to go slowly. He speedened to the speed of light. Everything you saw was blurry. He stopped and kissed your neck to keep the pleasure going. He took you to the dressing table and he pulled out of you while he turned you around. He bent you over while he went into your pussy. He continued fucking you aggressively. You felt his hips roll onto your ass with ease. He held on to the edge of the table as you felt your body being pushed into the dresser with force. Your hips kept hitting the edge of the dresser.

“When I come you will keep it all inside of you. You fucking whore” He moaned while he kept pushing himself into you.

“Yes sir,” You moaned holding on to the dresser.

“I’m going to fill your pretty little tight cunt. Little slut.” Duff groaned as he kept pushing into you. He finally came inside of you. You felt his warm jets of come coat your womb and your wet folds. You felt his orgasm traveling down your legs. Duff laid you on the bed making sure all of his work was protected inside of you.

“Now lay down and keep all of that inside of you,” Duff said while laying you down.

You invited Susan who was lying down on the bed next to you to clean Duff’s come off of your body.

“Good little slut” Duff whispered in your ear while he watched his wife clean you up.

Soon Duff and Susan dropped you off at your apartment. You went inside.

“Fuck what an amazing day” You smiled to yourself. 

You were never going to forget that you were fucked by Duff and Susan. You reached into your coat pocket to grab your notepad. You felt a small piece of paper. You pulled it out and it has Duff’s and Susan's phone number with their autographs. There was a small note.

“Y/N we enjoyed tonight. Call us anytime you want to have fun again. - Love Duff and Susan XOXO.” 

[psych0-str1ngs]

Jealous Words- Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Authors Note: Guys THIS IS SO GREAT I LOVE HAVING REQUESTS, @undertakerswhore

Warnings: P in V, oral M! receiving, dirty talk

You were sat in between Axl and Duff, and you were completely. shitfaced. You were giggling and joking with Axl while Izzy was across the dressing room with Slash and Steve.

“Wait i have an idea,” you laughed trying to be quiet.

“What?” Axl asked, tapping his cigarette on the ash tray.

“We should make Izz jealous,” I giggled, whispering in his ear.

He chuckled and put his hand on my thigh, you batted you eyelashes at him. He put the cigarette to your lips, you dragged the smoke into your mouth before french inhaling and exhaling the smoke. Izzy’s eyes bored into Axl’s soul.

“Dude i think it’s working,” Axl laughed, putting his arm your shoulder, you leaned into him.

“Oh for sure,” I laughed loudly.

“You’re definitely getting it tonight,” Axl said taking another drag.

I slapped his chest and blushed deeply. Izzy walked up to the coffee table.

“Oh hi baby,” You smiled up at him.

“Let’s go,” He said holding his hand out to you.

“Nooo!” You slurred. “Im gonna stay here”

“No you’re not,” He said. “C’mon Y/n”

The boys whooed, hooting and hollering. You blushed, and rolled your eyes before getting up and grabbing his hand.

“Bye guys!!!” You giggled, Axl winked at you.

Izzy quickly pulled you out of the dressing room before pulling you into him, his hand holding your jaw firmly.

“How dare you,” He said lowly “you think it’s funny flirting with my bandmates?”

“A little bit,” you smirked up at him.

“You better hope you can walk tomorrow,” He let go of your jaw and continued walking to your car.

You pulled out your keys, ready to drive. He grabbed the keys out of your hands quickly, glaring at you. You sighed and got in the passenger seat. After backing out of the parking spot, his hand landed on your thigh.

“You are so fucking in for it,” He said, shaking his head.

You looked at him, blushing deeply. He looked at you for a split second before pulling into your driveway. He got out of the car and walked quickly to the door, unlocking it and pushing you through it. You giggled and walked through the front door, sliding off your leather jacket. Izzy spun you around, picking you up by your thighs and walking to your shared bedroom.

"Izzy!" You giggled.

He threw you on the bed roughly, quickly pulling off his shirt. His hands slide down your sides, hiking up your dress and ripping your tights off.

"Those were my only pair that wasn't ripped!" You whined.

"Shut up," His rough hand ran up your body. "On your knees, now"

You quickly complied, biting the inside of your cheek. Izzy sighed, seeing the sight of your wet cunt, glistening slightly. You felt his bare chest press against your back, he leaned on your back.

"Do you know what's going to happen now?" He breathed out lowly, his hands found your ass, squeezing lightly.

"n-no," You stuttered.

"I'm going to fuck you until I feel satisfied," He smacked your ass roughly. "And you wont make a single peep, do you understand?"

"Yes sir," You said lowly.

He gave your ass one more smack before pulling his leather pants down, and grabbing his length. Izzy rubbed his tip up and down your folds slowly before slamming into you. You widened your eyes slightly before screwing them shut. His hands gripped your hips tightly, pounding into you. He kept his pace, quick and rough, he leaned down to your ear again.

"You see what happens when you flirt with my band mates?" He asked, still pounding into you. "You get used, you're mine to fuck, and only mine."

You nodded before feeling a sharp hand slap your ass again.

"Words," His deep voice spoke.

"I'm only yours Izz, I promise," You said quickly, trying not to moan.

He chuckled, and continued. The tip of his cock hitting your G-spot repeatedly. You bit the inside of your lip, so hard you almost drew blood. Izzy's hips hit against yours, faltering lightly before pulling out and cumming on your ass. He sighed, breathing heavily. He tapped your thigh.

"On your back," He said stepping back a bit.

You flipped onto your back, looking up at him. He walked up in between legs, pulling you down a bit. Izzy's lips hit yours, shoving his tongue into your mouth, your hand weaved in his hair. He pulled away, your soft delicate fingers ran down his chest, your eyes looked into his. He pushed his dick into you suddenly. Your eyes rolled back into your head.

His hands gripped your legs, pushing his dick into you repeatedly. your legs shook and twitched before you came, sighing heavily. After a few short moments, he came again, quickly pulling out and ejaculating on your stomach. You both breathed heavily. He smiled down at you, kissing your nose lightly before walking off to the bathroom.

"You coming?" He asked.

"Y-yeah," You got up, and walked over with him.

THE END (sorry if this is a little disjointed, it's not my proudest work :()

[axl-rose-lover-1987]

“Our secret is out”

Axl Rose x reader

Year: 1989

You were peacefully sleeping in the hotel room bed next to your boyfriend Axl and everything was perfect you and Axl had been together for about 3 months now and you had decided to come on tour with him. You really enjoyed it but being in public a lot made it very hard to keep you and Axls relationship private. You had started an acting career in LA before you met Axl and we’re pretty well known and privacy was very important to you and him so really the only people who knew you guys were dating was the band and their managers who helped make sure you had access to front row seats and backstage. You and Axl laid there exhausted from all the bustle of touring and Axl really needed to rest and was passed out. Then the phone rang. You ignored it it woke you up a little but Axl seemed unfazed it was probably just slash or Duff still up and calling to ask if they could raid your guys mini fridge But the phone kept ringing and Axl was definitely awake now. “Ughhh” you said rolling over to pick up the phone off your nightstand “Hello” you said yawning and barely awake “Hi is this Axl Roses room?” Normally you would say no but you were worried it could be important so you said yes. The voice on the other line definitely was a man’s and he seemed very perky for this early in the morning “ Ok” The man said. “Can I speak to him?” “Um” you said looking over at Axl you had sandwiched his head between two pillows to tune out the talking “Who are you again?” You said in a very tired and confused tone. “I’m Howard Stern from the radio show I have a few questions I’d like to ask Axl can I please talk to him” the voice answered back. You rolled your eyes to that response knowing the last thing Axl wanted to do was press. “Wait a minute” Howard said into the phone “who are you? You sound like a girl are you one of Axls one night stands?” “What’s he like tell us” Howard said. And with that you set the phone down on the bed not wanting to answer any of Howard’s questions and let him talk to himself for a few mins. “Babe?” you said to Axl leaning over to see his face. His eyes fluttered open. “Yeah” he said his voice even deeper than usual because he had just woken up. “Howard Stern is on the phone he wants to ask you some questions and now he wants to know who I am too” you said to Axl who looked confused trying to process what you had just said due to his tired state. “Oh my god” Axl said “ The fuck does the prick want gimme the phone” Axl said sitting up. You handed him the phone and he put his ear up to it and you leaned close to him so you could hear what Howard was saying. “Hello” Axl said in a tired annoyed tone. “Axl? Is that you man?” You could hear Howard say on the other line. “Yo it’s me.” Axl said rubbing his eyes. “Axl dude what’s up your on tour some chick just answered the phone for you your living the life man” Howard said you rolled your eyes and giggled a little. Axl shook his head and smiled. “Yeah man it’s great I love it.” Axl said. “So who is the chick though Ax is she hot?” “Shes gotta be hot she’s with Axl Rose for gods sake.” Howard said. “Oh yeah man she’s the hottest.” Axl said looking down at you who was dying laughing because of these ridiculous questions. Axl tried to direct the conversation away from you though he really was trying hard to not blow the cover of you being his girlfriend. So Howard continued to ask him questions about any new albums coming out and how touring was and how the band was and blah blah. Howard was still talking when Axl said “Hey y/n can you grab me some water babe.” Then Axl stopped realizing what he did. “ Your dating y/n?” Howard said. “I thought she was just a groupie do you have a real girlfriend Axl?” Howard said in a very excited voice. “Shit” you said. “Is she that new actress y/n l/n?” Howard asked. Axl smiled and looked at you with a we’re screwed look on his face. “Well looks like our secret is out sugar.” Axl said smiling at you.

[augustusaugustus]

14.59 Red Herrings

MEADOWS: Fish shop? Who the hell would want to screw a fish shop?

CARVER: I’m sorry Mrs Landy, I may be missing something, but you just said that ten fish were worth five thousand pounds. That’s… five hundred pound each fish. LANDY: That’s right. HARKER: So, how much do the chips cost?

MEADOWS: There’s only nine here. You nicked ten, Gerry. Where’s the other one? DUFF: Well if you wait a half hour, it’ll probably turn up in the cat litter.

Ah, another phrase my friends and I quoted for years—Jack’s “I’m not drunk!” He gets a tip-off that a fish shop’s going to be burgled and Tom and a very grumpy Jim are stuck staking out a fishmonger while a tropical fish shop is done over. Terry Hodgkinson really was responsible for a lot of classic episodes.

I find it interesting how the key issue the others seem to have with Tom is that he’s too much like uniform. There’s a lot of antipathy towards him that really hasn’t been explained on screen.

[helenofsimblr]

Elita: So while I was out in School, Jimmy and Lysa called round with big news… well, more big news, she’s already up the duff! 

Lysa: Hey dad, so, we were just in the area, and we thought we’d pop in.

Bob: You both look really happy. Did something happen?

Jimmy: It did sir, I asked your daughter for her hand in marriage, and we was really hopin’ you and Mrs Robinson would be pleased about this.

Bob: Wow well… Yeah… But shouldn't you have asked my permission first before you decided to propose to my daughter?

Jimmy: Ah... ah, well, well... y'see... I didn't do that because...

Lysa: Seriously dad... not more of your stupid jokes. He's joking Jimmy.

****

Lyra: We are thrilled! It's the best news I’ve had all day. I’ll put the coffee on! 

Bob: Congratulations to you both, and of course we are both really happy, like Lyra said it's the best news we’ve had all day. When did this happen?

Jimmy: Hot of the press sir, literally yesterday.

Bob: I am completely blown away, maybe we need a celebratory dinner for this! We can get the big table out, get your brothers round too! This is major, your brothers will be so happy Lysa.

Lysa: Just don’t let them do the whole “look after her or we’ll break your legs” thing to Jimmy. I mean, if he screws up, I’m more than capable of breaking his legs.

Lyra: Finishing school was fully booked Jimmy. Are you sure you want to marry her? 

Jimmy: Completely ma’am.

****

Lyra: Well done. You went for a man in uniform though… I warned you about this. 

Lysa: I know, but I get my thing for men in uniform from you.

Lyra: I know honey, but you watch out, you’ll spend a few nights worrying. 

Lysa: I’ll be ok mom, right?

Lyra: Yes you will. Oh… I think your baby just kicked me.

Lysa: I was going to say… your baby just kicked me too!

[ask-jatere]

((In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’ll go ahead and link the Spotify playlists for the characters even if they haven’t showed up yet.))

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT 19

✨GT Stands for Good Time?✨

✨ “Good” “Ideas”, Poorly Executed✨

So it’s finally time for General Rildo to get off his duff and fight the GT crew.  The big gripe I have with this episode is why he took so long, and why he refuses to take the fight seriously.

As he closes in on the GT gang, Goku and Trunks sense a terrible ki approaching, and it’s all ominous and forboding, like whenever Frieza was on the move, or when Cell became perfect, or when Buu finally got out of his magic ball.  The implication is that Rildo is a Big Honkin’ Deal.  And when he finally arrives, he spells out his cause to conquer the universe and replace organic life forms with Machine Mutants, which he considers superior.  So Toei was clearly swinging for the fences with this guy, or so it seems.

Goku even remarks that Rildo’s power is “even greater than Buu’s.”  I remember this caused some irritation in the fanbase back in the day, and I wondered if it might be a dub-ism, since the Funimation dub has a tendency to exaggerate these kinds of things, but nope, this is straight from the Toei script.  Rildo is stronger than Majin Buu.  So this guy they’re about to fight isn’t just the strongest GT villain so far, he’s the strongest guy in the whole franchise up to this point.

And then Pan just hauls off and decks him, and he goes down like a house of cards.  It looks awesome, and for a moment Trunks wonders if Pan might have surpassed him in strength.  But then Rildo gets up like it didn’t hurt him at all.  He’s just toying with her.

Okay, but why?  This is the top guy in Dr. Mu’s evil robot army.  So far, he’s shown an intense loyalty to the cause and a strong professional discipline about everything he does.  Mu ordered him to capture the GT gang alive, and when Mega Cannon Sigma failed, he went out to do it himself.  So now that he’s here, why is he screwing around?

When he finally goes on the offensive, he tries to zap Pan with a green laser, but Trunks shoves her out of the way and gets hit himself.  The beam transforms him into a metal sculpture embedded in a slab, like Han Solo frozen in carbonite.  Then it teleports away like on Star Trek.

Pan and Goku want to know where Trunks went, and Rildo arrogantly tells them. He beamed Trunks into that big tower in the center of the city.  We’ll be seeing a lot of it in the next few episodes.

From there, Pan runs off to rescue Trunks, while Goku stays behind and dodges Rildo’s transmutation beam.  Well, maybe it doesn’t turn you into metal so much as it seals you inside a metal shell?  I say this because when Rildo misses Goku, he hits these broccoli-looking trees, which seemed to be already partially converted to metal.  And I know the ship was made of metal, so you’d think nothing would happen to that.

Well, regardless of how Rildo’s power works, he can immobilize targets and send them directly to a tower, where they will be prepared for shipment to Dr. Mu’s laboratory for study.  It’s just a question of Rildo getting a bead on his opponent. 

Pan storms the tower, but she’s too late.  By the time she finds Trunks, she sees him teleported away.  Then she angrily confronts Giru, who seems to have been the author of all their troubles....

... this alarm sounds, and a weird distortion effect starts up, and Pan suddenly finds herself...

... back at the entrance at the base of the tower.  See her?  She’s that black speck in the lower left. 

None of this is much of a problem, except for one thing: Why didn’t the Machine Mutants do all this tricky stuff before?!   Remember, Trunks and Goku were already captured in Episode 16!  But they were only subdued with knockout gas, and then analyzed in this tower.  Then they found out how strong Goku and Trunks were, and Rildo got worried until Giru proposed sharing his combat analysis data. 

Except, there was no need for any of that, because Rildo could have just used his very specific powers to immobilize Goku and Trunks then and there.  And then they could send them directly to Dr. Mu’s lab, which is what he’s doing here, in this episode!  So if it was a good idea in Episode 19, why didn’t they just do it in Episode 17?!

What kills me is that this isn’t even Pan’s first trip through this building!  I’m pretty sure this is the same tower she snuck into in Episode 17, the first time she tried to stage a rescue!  And Mega Cannon Sigma stopped her that time, but if that stupid distortion field was in the building the whole time, why didn’t they just use that before?

This episode by itself seems to offer a better approach to the whole conflict, but it contradicts premises that were established in the three episodes that came before it.  And it also repeats plot elements that were already used in the previous episodes: Trunks getting caught, Pan having to save him, Goku fighting the main villains alone.

And I don’t have a big gripe with the repetition itself.  Mu wants the GT gang, and M2 is sworn to make it happen, so it only makes sense that they’d try again and again.  The problem is that they’re introducing new gimmicks without explaining why they didn’t use them before, and you can’t have it both ways.

The Red Ribbon Army sagas are a good example of how to do it right.  Each cycle of the conflict was the RRA underestimating Goku and trying to defeat him with military force.  But it stayed fresh because the Red Ribbon perception of Goku was different for each cycle.   General White barely knew what he was up against.  General Blue mistakenly assumed Goku had a whole organization backing him up, and divided his forces accordingly.  After his whole unit was destroyed, then he resorted to his psychic powers, because they were all he had left.  When that failed, Commander Red opened his checkbook and paid Mercenary Tao to handle the problem instead.  He could have done that from the start, but Tao doesn’t work cheap, and up to that point, Red didn’t understand that nothing less could get the job done.  So even though the RRA made a lot of mistakes in that conflict, there was still a logical reason behind each blunder. 

Let’s get back to the fight and see what other powers Rildo has.  Well, he can detach his forearms and shoot them like punch rockets, but Android 16 was doing that years ago.  Well, no, it’s totally different this time, because Rildo’s forearms can steer, and attack Goku from behind.  Also, the hands can grab him, and not just punch.

Also, he makes the entire Mega Cannon Sigma team reappear.  They emerge from various metal “puddles” Rildo makes during the fight, and then they all grab Goku like liquid metal tentacles and reform into the same robots we met in the last three episodes.  So I guess this was why they didn’t explode when Pan and Goku defeated them.  They don’t say anything, though, so I’m not sure if Rildo repaired them with his powers, or if he just created a whole new set of Sigma Force robots from scratch, or what.

This is really sketchy stuff, as far as I’m concerned.  Clearly, someone at Toei was heavily inspired by all the T-1000 effects in Terminator 2, but these M2 episodes just completely overuse the idea.  The bad guys can turn things into metal, they can move through metal, they can make metal splash around and go wherever they want, and now they can just repair/recreate fallen comrades.  It’s not the worst power for a villain to have, but it feels really broken and there doesn’t seem to be much thought put into how a bad guy would use this ability in a fight, or how the hero would deal with it.  It’s mostly just been Rildo attacking and Goku dodging, and when Goku goes on the offensive, Rildo seems to have no defense.

Like, okay, if Rildo can do all of this, what is even the point of that arm rocket thing he was using earlier?  That’d be like giving web-shooters to Superman.  He doesn’t need them, he can fly!  Well, I guess Superman might use them a few times just to be polite.  Maybe that’s why Rildo is taking his sweet time with this battle.  Mu gave him rocket arms and this was the only way he could find an excuse to deploy them in a fight.

Anyway, Goku’s not worried at all because he can just go Super Saiyan and blow up the Mega Cannon Sigma robots all over again. Literally, he destroys them all just by transforming, which only underscores that Episode 18 was a colossal waste of time. 

Undaunted, Rildo reveals that he’s been holding back too.  Well, Goku already knew that, since he said this guy was stronger than Majin Buu.  Rildo absorbs all the loose parts of the Sigma Force...

And he transforms into Hyper Mega Rildo!  That is not a joke name, that is literally what he calls himself.  He looks dumb as hell.

“For some reason,” Goku says, “I’m getting all excited!”  Is he being sarcastic?  Like, you could read that to mean “Wow, this guy’s powers are total bullshit, so I don’t even know why I’m still enjoying this.”

And that pretty well sums up the “idea” behind this episode that I want to critique.  By the time we get to M2, Dragon Ball GT had finally ditched the “grand tour” premise that it had started with, and shifted to a more battle-focused story.  To quote the 2005 interview with GT producer Kozo Morishita:

“We thought up an entire planet of prisoners and various things like that, but we could make countless such episodes, which on the flipside made them boring. So during meetings the direction emerged that ‘a story where the Earth is in danger would be good’ and ‘it would be interesting to have enemies with strong personalities appear and have the story revolve around battles with them’.”

So even though the spaceship is still in play, and they’re still trying to find the Black Star Dragon Balls, the emphasis of this M2 arc has been about the showdown with Dr. Mu, who plans to conquer the whole universe (including Earth) with his army Machine Mutants. 

And this shift to the battle themes in DBZ is pretty dumb, because Morishita and his crew were just re-learning with GT what Akira Toriyama had already figured out a decade earlier.  People love to point out that original Dragon Ball is more “adventure-oriented” while DBZ is more “action-oriented”, but that’s an artificial distinction.  In the manga there is no delineation between DB and DBZ, and besides, there’s no less than FOUR martial arts competitions in “original” Dragon Ball.  Go watch Goku fighting the Red Ribbon Army and tell me there’s no “action”.   Goku loves to fight.  He wears a martial arts gi almost all the time.  If you’re doing a story about Goku, you pretty much have to put him in a big fight, or otherwise he’ll just be bored the whole time.  This is why he was such a passive character in the first 16 episodes.  He’d either complain he was hungry or shrug his shoulders whenever anyone asked his opinion, because there was very little for him to do. 

So Toei finally changed course, but that didn’t fix the problem, because the fights they did arrange for Goku lack the pacing and choreography of Toriyama’s stories.  The Sigma Force were absolute chumps, and they only lasted as long as they did because Goku decided not to use Super Saiyan right out of the gate.  And now we have the Rildo fight, where Goku holds back again, and it turns out Rildo’s holding back as well. 

And that’s not an unusual thing for a Dragon Ball battle.  Goku had similar openings against Piccolo, Frieza, and Cell, but those opponents were willing to indulge him for their own reasons.  Piccolo and Cell wanted to savor the moment, while Frieza wanted Goku to wear himself down and slowly sink into despair. 

Rildo, on the other hand, well he’s working for someone, and he doesn’t get paid by the hour.  His troops have already botched this assignment once, so you’d think he’d be more serious about carrying out his duty.  If he blows it, there’s no one else left to do it in his place.  But instead he screws around with Goku, just like Ledgic, who didn’t have any particular agenda, and just like Luud, who was basically mindless, and just like the Sigma Force, who underestimated Goku’s abilities. 

Rildo shouldn’t be horsing around with Goku.  He should be going at him full-bore, just like Broly and Janemba and Majin Buu, because those guys had no reason to stall.  And yet, Rildo is stalling, not because it makes sense for his character, but because the GT production schedule demands it.  A more capable storyteller could come up with an idea to get a longer, more satisfying fight out of this Goku/Rildo match, but GT is about formulas, not ideas. 

✨Positivity Page✨ 

Now, having said all of this, I do want to say that this is my favorite GT episode so far.  There’s three pretty simple reasons for this.  

First, the animation and character models are much, much better than what we’ve been getting lately.  Goku and Rildo look badass, and their movements are fluid and satisfying to watch.  Their fight is poorly booked, but the talent is giving everything they have.  I wish the whole series looked like Episode 19, because then I could at least appreciate GT as a visual feast plagued with lackluster writing. 

Second, this episode actually uses the entire run time of the episode.  What do I mean by that?  Well, pretty much every episode so far has been loaded with padding.  Characters will just wander around or stare at something, and it takes forever for the story to get moving, and before you know it, the episode is half over.  They’re all ten-minute plots stretched out into twenty-two. 

With this one, things get moving fairly quickly.  When we open on Pan and Trunks, Rildo is heading right for them, and then Goku shows up next and they prepare for the inevitable confrontation.   Trunks gets captured, Pan goes to save him, and the rest of the episode follows Goku and Pan in their respective battles.  The result is an episode where there’s almost always something happening at any given moment.  It’s got problems, like I mentioned above, but at no point was I ever bored. 

Third, Pan actually got to do something this time, which is kind of a rarity around here.  While her attempt to rescue Trunks failed, the episode’s plot structure didn’t depend on her succeeding, compared to her solo adventures in Episodes 15 and 17, where it really screwed things up when her efforts amounted to nothing.  In Episode 19, the main thing was to give Pan something else to do while Goku fought, and having her chase after Trunks was a great way to use her, because it allowed us to see, through her, that Trunks was shipped away to Mu’s lab. 

✨Is this episode worse than “The Roaming Lake”?✨

And let’s be clear here, this isn’t a great episode by the standards set in DB and DBZ.  But that’s not my dilemma here.  No, what got me anxious was trying to decide if this episode will finally break the streak by outperforming “The Roaming Lake”, the absolute worst episode of Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z.

Lately, I’ve been blowing off this segment, because the episodes have been so terrible that it’s no contest.  “Roaming Lake” has beaten GT every time so far, but could Episode 19 break the streak?   For once, I actually had to think about it, which is high praise for a GT episode.

Ultimately, though, this all comes down to whether the high production quality of this episode is enough to make up for its weak fight choreography and uninspired plot.  Say what you want about the Roaming Lake, but it was different from the episodes that came before or after it.  Toei needed about four filler episodes between the 21st World Tournament and the General White arc, and they didn’t just repeat the same idea four times.  Instead, we got the Roaming Lake, then Pilaf’s flying fortress, then Colonel Silver vs. Ox King, then Colonel Silver vs. Pilaf.  The Roaming Lake was the weakest of those four, obviously, but it did it’s own thing, and it got Goku started on his journey.

This episode of GT is relatively decent on its own, but it’s part of a larger arc on Planet M2, and it gets really annoying when you watch the whole arc together, because a lot of what happens in Episode 19 was already done in 17 and 18, and we’ll see a lot of it again in Episodes 20 and 21.  Of those five episodes, 19 is the best, but only because the animators were trying harder.  And, quite frankly, I don’t consider animation quality to be the sole decider of a cartoon’s quality.  I grew up on Superfriends and Transformers, shows where they could barely keep the characters’ color schemes straight.  So some other fan might give Episode 19 more credit, but it’s my liveblog, so that’s the ruling I’m going with.  This episode is worse than “The Roaming Lake”. 

But it’s a close one.  If there’s a better episode of GT coming up, then we might see the streak broken yet.

✨The Blade Braxton Memorial Haiku*✨

Yes, he’s alive, and

In perfect hibernation.

Beam him up, Scotty.

[dxsturbia]

Because you are not the only white patty on the planet

He is telling her not to go anywhere near that with a 10 foot pole. The thing is Ariana doesn’t wanna listen to scooter right now. Scooter wants her to finish Vic

Nickelodeon it is not the same network as the Disney Channel. They are not going to show up the same kind of cash on an experiment. This is going to screw. You don’t do it.

Put your heart up you’re my only shorty

Don’t touch that shit you are not Kidz Bop

The last purchase track fully purchased on your record was got dynamite

The other two we already know were originally licensed to Walt Disney records

Do you have any idea how Michael Jackson that song is and you’re gonna follow it up with?

Selena Gomez is for the children. She’s not Selena Gomez right now. She’s Alex Russo.

Miley Cyrus is for the children for the next two years and she does not put out another album until she is no longer for the children.

You are no longer for the children.

You never really work your Nick Jonas so if you’re gonna decide that you’re no longer for the children that you are far enough in your education to tell your story, then do it

What the fuck every single time you just go backwards

he has to come around to remind you that you are in fact, 32 years old

Do you have any idea what this sounds like all the way through

You have some great singles and you do not utilize them

But all the way through your Lizzie McGuire

[the-firebird69]

Duff Man

He wants to play this character just to have a good time make some money but he has a merchandising idea already it's kind of a stolen one but it goes back to Duff and you guys might want to look at it. It really can help protect your ass and yes the seat cushion what you want to make it foldable and have it use air so you can pull it up and put it in your pocket and you can go into the stadium and blow it up and it'll still remain kind of flat and they have that stuff and you can fold it and it will protect your Duff.

We're hoping to get to stadiums with the beer and we're going to make infused just going to be huge he wants to play the character there is some big news.

+++all of those things that Trump is doing to our son and a few others constantly bothering him trying to ding him they're trying it on a lot of people right now tons of people they're trying to threaten to keep the financial districts and they lost most of their key people now it's supposed to work fairly easily and our son and daughter say it sounds like they're like long range plan is to remove the control of those areas on purpose in order to blame us and it is and they're up to that but we have to deal with it and it's real all those people are fighting to the death and they're also using all of these jackass techniques that they were the whole time and people are getting very mad it's not normal for them to be this mad but they've been putting up with all his crap and it's coming from mostly Trump and they said we can't stand you anymore you have to shut your mouth and go over the corner and stay there we're dealing with all this s*** that you did already and we don't have anything we can do we're Frozen we we are stuck our nukes are stuck our arms are stuck the ships are stuck and you keep screaming we won something what did we win we don't know where the robots are we're not holding those robots up you don't have any AI and you're not controlling Saturn that's probably what you think cuz you're a s*** head but who cares you can't leave and that's not how it works and they're explaining it to him and they're telling him you push the kid to tell you he tells you and you don't listen you just sits there and says stuff and you get all screwed up in the head cuz you're stupid now these people are mad at him but other people are killing the trumpsters because they won't stop messing with their phone dick in there and they're going after them they're screwing around with their accounts of all kinds and they're going after them with a fierce of engines it's exactly what we needed right now he was trying to cool off is still trying to force the letter and it will work but they're going to get rid of tons of them and it will work a lot easier and soon Trump is going to be on his ass and out my God what a failure and piece of crap he is what a loser and thank God and also that he's out shortly

Thor Freya

Wow that's heavenly I can't believe it finally and I hear it and they're saying it's all going to come back to me and all this dumb stuff and they get their butts kicked this is great they probably won't even learn this so damn dumb but we're going to take over a lot of that stuff

Hera

I was ordered this morning to go in there and start to grab things and I wondered what insane control so I'm looking there's items there's money there's places and wondered how to take it over and I asked Frank Castle hardcastle and he said to do what we're doing and said no we need to be much more aggressive and Duke Nukem Blockbuster heard it and he said you're actually right we need a lot of it and so as we started moving it's the best thing we ever did not that Frank Castle hardcastle's wrong he's got to handle the other side of it

Savage opress

Yeah it would be nice to me to get aggressive and let them do it and once in awhile you really need to see it because you need it and he needs to watch me do it too I got that

Frank Castle hardcastle

There are few things we could use in a few things to brush up on yeah we're pretty damn good at it and we're going to show them

Savage oppress

Yeah we're going to be behind you and you're going to switch off and you're going to see what I mean

Frank Castle hardcastle it's time for these people to get punishment and he's been saying it because I have him saying it

Olympus

[castlebyersafterdark]

do you think Jopper will have a sex scene in S5? It seems to be somewhat thematically superfluous even if it makes sense for them as people (considering they were gonna screw in the church). some spicy byler skeptics say it makes way more sense than byler sex, but I will be very disappointed if jopper gets the sex scene and not byler. although if the duffs wanna give everyone a sex scene and go for the lumax, jopper, jancy, byler, duzie, rovickie 6 punch I wouldn’t be mad 💀

poor el and steve single in the corner tho 💀

I do shamelessly love me some jopper and I'm not even gonna pretend I'm not and ok - the amount of bitter I and many of us will be if we get a spicy jopper scene and nothing even remotely close for byler hmmm. Don't even. I don't think it's totally unnecessary because I think tv in general needs to be spiced up and sexed up more (despite all these people complaining about too much sex on tv it's like uhhhhh where? this is such a sexless era, be serious babes). I just think queeeeen Winona mrs byers herself needs to get some lovin from that man. And I just like looking at David Harbor. SO. let me look at him 🤭 But only as long as our beloved boys get to get down as well. Fair's fair!!

[nickmacleanjazz]

Nick Maclean Quartet feat Brownman Ali's CONVERGENCE is now officially released! You can stream it on all of the various platforms, but if you really want to support the creation of new jazz art consider buying a digital copy on Bandcamp! https://nickmacleanquartet.bandcamp.com/album/convergence

PURCHASE (digital or physical) or STREAM CONVERGENCE now! Maclean.Browntasauras.com ---------------

"Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun - and neither can stop the march of events." - Lazarus Long (from Robert Heinlein's 'Time Enough For Love', 1973)

I love this quote from Heinlein, and coupled with another bit of Lazarus Long wisdom "Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament..." I think the sentiment aptly sums up the creation of this record.

'Convergence' was first started in 2020, after Brown and I returned from our Canadian National tour with Ben Duff and Jacob Wutzke. Ben and Jacob are a special breed of player. Brown and I developed a real chemistry with them on the road, and we desperately wanted to record this incarnation of the group. Tunes were written, players assembled, a tour was booked to get us ready for the studio... and everything was very quickly cancelled by the subsequent "march of events" - the Covid pandemic.

At the end of 2021, amid more lockdowns and a new unknown Omicron variant, Brown and I decided "screw it, let's take a gamble on 2022". So for the second time, we assembled our band, we booked our tour, we booked our studio time... and we hoped beyond hope that circumstances would allow us to prepare and record this album. And then, a series of amazing things happened.

We got a grant from the Canada Council for the Arts... and then another one from the Toronto Arts Council... and then finally the Ontario Arts Council came back with a THIRD grant. Suddenly not only had I the budget to pay my musicians something they deserved, we could record in Canada's top recording studio AND hire a crack team of videographers to get stunning footage of the sessions - all for a project that Brown and I strongly felt had the right mix of tunes and musicians for something magical to potentially happen.

To make the mixture even more exciting, we had a number of guest artists coming in to record with us as well. One of Canada's great jazz bassists, the multi-Juno winning Mike Downes - a musician I have long admired and taken inspiration from - and the young, rising star drummer Mateo Mancuso lent their substantial talents to us for our version of 'Eye of the Hurricane'. The original bassist of the ensemble, the incredible Jesse Dietschi (who's just released a phenomenal record called 'Gradient') joined us on the Herbie classic 'Dolphin Dance'. And one of Canada's greatest latin percussionists, Luis Orbegoso generously added his incredible conga and bell playing to the Brownman original 'Wisdom of Aurelius'.

This was all incredible... and terrifying. We had such an opportunity, but so much depended on no lockdowns, no cancellations, and no-one catching Covid.

When you listen to the record, hopefully you'll agree with me that this story has a very happy ending. This record's name 'Convergence' owes to the extremely fortuitous circumstances that allowed its completion, but there were many near misses that could have spelled doom along the way - all in a global environment that was anything but fortuitous. What I've learned from this, and another lesson I plan to teach my quickly-growing daughter, is that Convergence depends on your autonomous choices just as much as it does on blind luck. Without being an "optimist by temperament", you'll avoid the risks necessary to chase your goals. Without being a "pessimist by policy", the contingencies and planning vital for mitigating those risks will be inadequate to see those goals through. On very rare occasions, those who strive to embody these principles will be able to turn random good fortune into Convergence. Because they were very lucky, yes. But also because they were ready.

This record is very special to me, not just because of the incredible/terrifying circumstances of its creation, but because every single person on this gave so much of themselves, so much of their personalities, and so much of their heart. I'm so proud of the music that was captured, I'm so humbled by the reverence and care that was taken by everyone involved. Thank you all.

In particular to my rhythm section Ben Duff and Jacob Wutzke - you both are a FORMIDABLE force full of heart, personality, and irreverence. You are a shining example of the next generation of modern-minded jazz musicians and I hope to be working with you both for many years to come.

To my producer and my featured trumpet player Brownman Ali... what can I say? It's been nearly 10 years that you've been mentoring me and working closely with me on so many different projects, how on earth do I sum up nearly a decade of deep inspiration, formative lessons, and artistry in a paragraph? I can't, so I'm just going to say THANK YOU. You sound like a world class KILLER all through this album. Your treatment of my melodies is inspired and your soloing shows a creativity and a personality that is both highly expansive and all your own. You never fail to impress in your role as my producer and the attention and wisdom you bring to every project we've done is unparalleled and has helped to create an album I'm fiercely proud of. Thank you brother, I love you.

---------------

"Convergence" releases Oct 27 (Can) & Nov 24 (Int) on Browntasauras Records ---- :: Nick Maclean - piano :: Brownman Ali - trumpet/producer :: Ben Duff - bass :: Jacob Wutzke - drums with special guests :: Mike Downes - bass (track 5) :: Mateo Mancuso - drums (track 5) :: Jesse Dietschi - bass (track 1) :: Luis Orbegoso - congas & bells (track 11) -- Revolution Recording -- recording studio (Kim Cooke , booker) Stephen Koszlerzler -- head tracking engineer Luke Schindler -- assistant tracking engineer Wayne H Ferguson -- piano tuner Josh Bowman -- mix engineer Justin Gray -- mastering engineer Dean Shu -- cover art Daryl Angier -- liner notes - Thom Varey -- director of photography Brittany Farhat -- camera crew Matthew Fong -- camera crew - Canada Council for the Arts -- funding Ontario Arts Council -- funding Toronto Arts Council -- funding - Browntasauras Records -- record label Stephen Danic (Browntasauras Records) -- publicist ---- WATCH singles from CONVERGENCE ROAD WARRIOR (blazing uptempo swing): https://youtu.be/qfOno29FcXM DOLPHIN DANCE (introspective ballad): https://youtu.be/61856iZ__0c VERBOTEN (irreverently funkified): https://youtu.be/lexWg8YLXDQ WISDOM OF AURELIUS (Latin jazz odyssey): https://youtu.be/-cPAbdH6qkM ---- For more info: Maclean.Browntasauras.com NicholasMaclean.com Brownman.com Browntasauras.com

[love-and-rockers]

14 for both couples please!

okay fun!

axl // adrianna

probably way more than like 90% of people would ever be comfortable with lmao. they'll be all over it, basically connected at the hip all the way back from the beginning. i think that they like having each other as a physical presence (looping it back round to them both enjoying physical touch) and they are both very confident in their relationship.

they also loving holding hands for every second they can in the day!

they're in love so they should so it! screw if anyone dislikes it. they also like driving each other a little bit crazy for each other, so they're ready for when they are alone 😏

duff // miyoko

i think they are okay with it but not over the top with it. like if they've had a couple of drinks at a party, they'll be down for all the feeling up each other and kissing. i don't think that they really care if anybody sees but i also don't think they go out of their way for it.

around each other but not attached to each other!

thank you for asking!

xxx

[link to question list]

[axl-rose-lover-1987]

“Can I ask you something”

Slash x Reader

80s Slash

Fluff

You and Slash laid on the floor of the tiny apartment belly laughing and guzzling down bottles of Jack. Duff sat on the couch and Steven was busy dancing to “Walk This Way” by Aerosmith that was blaring from the radio. Izzy was sitting there too just watching everyone and Axl had gone to his room a long time ago he said he needed rest for the show tomorrow night. You weren’t really sure what time it was but it was definitely late. You didn’t care though you were having to much fun hanging out with Slash. Slash had been your best friend since you moved to LA. It was like an instant connection. You were best friends but deep down you were in love with him but to scared to admit it to him. The radio was now super loud and Steven was trying to snake dance like Axl but failing miserably which made it even funnier you Slash were cackling on the floor now. Suddenly an angry Axl stormed out of his room “GODDAMNIT CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN I NEED TO REST FOR TOMORROW” Axl yelled. “Sorry ax we know you need your beauty sleep” Slash sarcastically said and then started giggling. “Yeah sorry princess” you answered back. You and Slash were now super close to each other dying laughing. Axl didn’t think you guys were as funny and flipped you off and walked down the hallway and slammed the door to his room. “I Remember You” by Skid Row was now playing on the radio “Yo turn it up I love this one” Duff said. “No way man way to mushy for me” Slash said back. “Come on Slash don’t act like you’ve never been in love before” Duff retorted back. This conversation made you very nervous because you loved Slash, he just didn’t know it. “What about you y/n you ever been in love?” Duff asked you casually taking a sip of vodka. “I- um” you hesitated and looked at Slash who’s beautiful brown eyes were staring right you. “ I don’t know Duff that’s a really deep question for this late” you said laughing it off. It got quiet for a few mins. Izzy had got up to go to bed and Steven was now sitting on the couch. “ I don’t know man I used to think Steven’s mom was fine though” Slash said. Duff and you both burst laughing. “The fuck did you just say Slash” Steven said standing up and pretending to kick Slash in the balls. “What man she was” Slash said laughing even harder now. “Your the worst” Steven said even laughing a little too now. A few mins later Steven was passed out on the bed and Duff had left to go to his room for the night. And so here you were just you and Slash on the floor of a crummy apartment staring up at the ceiling. “Can I ask you something?” Slash said. “Of course dude what’s up” you said. “Have you ever had feelings for a friend?” Slash asked. Welp you were screwed now was a good as time as any to tell him. But before you could speak Slash started talking again. “That was stupid to say but anyway I have been in love before” Slash said “Oh yeah with who?” You said trying to brace yourself. “With you” Slash said.

[darkmagyk]

There are 4 months between TLO and TLH (They take place in August and December of the same year.) And PJO takes over like 3 years and two months (the summer Percy and Annabeth turn 13 to the summer they turn 16).

But more than that, you can’t nail down a timeline in the Riordan books using the pop culture references.

Tyrants Tomb, which takes place the same year as the rest of Trials of Apollo and also Magnus Chase, references the movie Avengers: Infinity War, a movie that did not come out until 2018. There is no secret to cracking the timeline. The first series vaguely followed real world time of publication, but that radically changed with the timeline in HOO, but he still wrote each of the books as though they were taking place the year they were published. This is why in a book set in roughly 2005 there is a Hilary Duff reference, in a book written in 2015 there is a 1989 reference, and in a book written in 2019 there is an Avengers: Infinity War references. There is even a short story that takes place during COVID while Percy and Nico are clearly still teenagers.

(This is also why they don’t have phones; it wasn’t a weird take to say “don’t let the 12-year-olds have cell phones” in 2005, and the world would probably be a better place if we’d stuck with that.)

Gun to my head, yeah, I’ll give you a start at the beginning timeline, Percy and Annabeth were

 born in 1993, Percy’s turning 30 in a few days, the first book takes place publication year, 2005, right before Percy turned 13. But there is really no figuring out the “actually” timeline because there isn’t one. The books take place “today.” And that’s not a flaw, that’s on purpose.

(Not that Rick Riordan has never screwed up the timeline, he does basically forget about a year of schooling for Percy and Annabeth. To say nothing of how exactly Percy’s birthday is supposed to work. But that doesn’t mean everything else he’s doing is wrong.)

Presumably, despite taking place before Trials of Apollo, Chalice of the Gods will be set with various cultural markers that set it in roughly 2023. Because Rick Riordan has always moved his timeline.

how I figured out the Riordenverse timeline off a Taylor Swift song.

Hi I'm Ace and let me explain why I think this is how the timeline plays out (warning Kane Chronicles aren't here cause I haven't read it yet and no exact dates are shared for TSATS cause I haven't finished TOA)

with that out of the way:

I started my timeline with Magnus Chase, because in the first book we go to the Dwarf realm, and over the speakers the song "I know places" by Taylor Swift is playing, that song is from the Album 1989, which released in the year 2014, which means that MCGA has to happen around then, which makes me place the MCGA books to happen in around 2015

then we have Trials of Apollo, in the Third MCGA book we find out Sally Jackson had her Baby which tells us MCGA and TOA happen in parallel to each other (also in the first TOA book Percy mentions Annabeth going to see her cousin (Magnus)) which places it at about 2015, as well. and in the third book Apollo mentions that he was cast out in January, so that's when I place it when I did

which brings us to Heroes of Olympus, which I place to happen around late 2013-mid 2014, the lost Hero takes place in winter of 2013 and the son of Neptune takes place in June of 2014 and then the rest of the HOO books take place from June-August of 2014

and Finally we're at Percy Jackson and the Olympians. the Last Olympian takes place 16 months before TLH, so in this timeline it would take place in summer of 2012, and the entire PJO series takes place over 4 years and so in conclusion that places the beginning of the series in the Summer of 2008.

thank you for hearing me out on this :) I wanted to figure this out for a while and now I've done it!