#screw cmyk

[dialoguedailyish]

Cultist: "Oh great god Syamwikei, give me red!"

Syamwikei: "That's not what we do here, buddy. Scarlet. Take it or leave it."

Some Guy: "Why not just make it brighter?"

Cultist: <looks at S.G. with confusion> "..."

Syamwikei: "..."

Cultist: "What printer god do you have? Is it perhaps a demon instead? Did you make a deal with the demon Argybi or something?"

Some Guy: "I-"

Syamwikei: "Scram, kid. You don't know what you're talking about."

Some Guy: "On it!" <walks away in shame>

still thinking about the time i made a post about how you can't use certain colors in CMYK because it's outside the color gamut and someone commented "just make it brighter?"

[paoofthestars]

I've speed-drew this last night because of this tweet.

Already saw better ones but screw it, have at it.

Also tested out a CMYK halftone auto action from this accets. Might not look good, but it's a start ig.

[drmikhailov]

I really like how he came out! My opinion still stands, screw buying specific colors. Get a CMYK set and some metalics and you're good to go :D

[pink-ninja]

So back when I drew this, I made it a CMYK file with the intention of printing, but they completely screwed up the color when transferring to my phone so the colors are a bit off

[quacheta]

So a few months ago, there was at least one (1) person who got permission to, and started, the project of bookbinding AmevelloBlue's The Ghost in the Shell. And when they tried to print it, it was like 700-800 pages. Which is... a lot.

So I figured, since (1) I also love Ghost in the Shell, (2) I do typesetting semi-professionally, and (3) why the heckers not, I could probably get it down to a more reasonable size.

And I did. And then AmevelloBlue gave me permission to share it here, so.

The Drive Folder With All the Files.

File-specific information below. :)

(Please, for the love of Donnie's banana pancakes, read it. I am trying to answer as many technical questions in advance as I can, so people don't get overwhelmed or confused or frustrated.)

(But also it is a LOT of information, so if you need clarification please ask. This is for to be fun! Not scary!)

There are three parts.

GitS.p8: This is the straight PDF export, done in pages and not spreads. That means each page is its own page (a spread has 2+ to a page) and the pages are in order. If you want a pretty PDF to read on a device, this is what you want. If you want to run it through your own imposition software, this is also what you want.

GitS.p8_typeset: This is the imposition. That means the pages have been rearranged into signatures and spreads for bookbinding. There are 16 pages, or 8 spreads, or 4 sheets of paper (printed double-sided) to each signature. Each signature gets stacked, folded into a booklet, and then stacked on top of the next signature for sewing the book block. THIS IS THE WHOLE BOOK. If you want ONE file to send to the printer, in one straight run, this is what you want.

signatures (folder): These are INDIVIDUAL SIGNATURES. That means each signature is a separate file. If you want to do a test print of a single signature, this is what you want. If you want to run different signatures through different printers, this is what you want. If you want to do this piecemeal for any other reason, this is what you want.

(The last three signatures are three sheets of paper, not four. This is for the sake of balancing page count against structural integrity in the bound book.)

Why would you want different printers, you ask?

Because color printing is expensive. And I used color in the typeset.

The entire thing is designed to still be readable (and pretty!) in a regular, black-and-white printer. Because I wanted this to be accessible to everyone, not just people who can afford color printing. But if you want to split it, and send the signatures-with-colored-bits to a color printer, and save money by NOT sending the whole book, these are the signatures with colored bits:

0, 5, 7, 11, 13, 14, 25, 26, 28, 35

And if that's too many pages still, here are the signatures with the most important colored bits (i.e., the title pages and the illustrations):

0, 7, 35

All of the files are PDFs. All of them, specifically, are PDF/x-1a(2003), which means the color profile is CMYK only and all the fonts are embedded. So nothing should go screwy-whompus when you download it or send it to the printer.

TRIM SIZE: the pages are 5x7.5. This is (1) to allow printing on letter-sized paper more easily, and (2) to also allow for trimming of the book block without screwing over the margins. The imposition and the signature files have trimming / cutting guides (the little lines) for your convenience.

There are 36 signatures total, or 560-something pages (less than 200 sheets of paper, before folding, if printed double-sided). This is still a big book. Big enough that you will need to know about spine swell, and possible rounding and backing, if you decide to do the binding. Please keep that in mind as you plan your project.

EPUB: some people like to convert PDF book files to ePUBs for eBook reading. Due to how I designed the typeset, this is not going to be pretty if you try it with these. I am currently in the final stages of making the eBook for GitS, and will upload the ePUB to the drive folder as soon as it's done. It will not have the pretty background / border illustrations of the print file, but it will be neat and tidy and include the pretty title pages.

I... think that's everything?

[technicianuprisingau]

Kirbtober 2024 Companion Pieces - Week Three

A companion lore piece to the ongoing Kirbtober, using the list by @paintpanic. You can see the full art collection for this week here.

Day 14: Miracle

About time we discuss the Hypernova ability in full detail.

In this AU, the Miracle Fruit is used more as a slight power booster. To other beings they grant a bump on all stats with no cosmetic changes (except glowing, colorful eyes), but to puffballs, oddly, that's a different story. This is why the Hypernova ability is indeed an ability, not a state - they change their appearance entirely when touching one.

Hypernova ability is no longer stuck to just "big ass inhale" because screw you, we can be a little creative than that. See those wisps-like things? They are called 'seeds' (I should've shown them as proper seeds but look I'm tired) and each of them creates a specific boost.

In fact, this ability's entire gimmick is boosting an aspect of themselves or allies. There are 4 aspects each user can amplify, albeit they can only amplify one at a time, depending on the seed color they pick:

Strength [magenta]

Sturdiness/Defense [blue]

Speed [yellow]

Personal Aspect (depends on user's bonded ability and the most mastered/favored technique of said user's bonded ability - pure puffballs who don't attune to any ability gets a huge inhale boost by default) [black]

Currently, at least for Kirby, he can only boost himself. He's not mastering it entirely yet, and it's not helped by the fact he doesn't attune himself permanently to it. Bonding with the ability can unlock neat things such as being able to boost two or more aspects at once at the cost of energy increase or being able to boost more than one person at a time.

And yes, the colors are a CMYK joke. Let me have this I learned graphic design.

Day 15: Cutscene Redraw

Learner grasping at straws to find an easy cutscene to draw moment. Seriously, had I have far more energy and time and persistent, I would've drawn the concept for Robobot Armor's activation scene but... *looks at how painful drawing this bastard is* No. Just. No.

Anyways, did you know that Kirby keeps the Rainbow Sword and some legendary final weapons inside the Fountain of Dreams. No, I will not explain further for now. Good luck guessing how and why.

Day 16: Overgrown

Another Hypernova ability-related picture? Anyways.

You may notice that Kirby here lacks a scarf. That's because the scarf was given to him 2 months before events of Planet Robobot, which happens a year after Triple Deluxe. Also, yes, that is a young Sectonia in her young royal dress. She was a decent princess actually, even when she made a second identity as Joronia so she can escape the castle and all...

It's just a shame that once she became queen and the mirror got involved, things got messy... and Kirby was, unfortunately, predestined to kill her. This too, was a long story.

Day 17: Galaxy

You know how Kirby has these starry-like eyes in Star Allies? Well, here in this AU it's… not something all puffballs have. In fact, most if not all puffballs have plain eyes. Either glowing or normal. Kirby's eyes ARE normal… but actually, whenever he feels happy, content, or just really high, good emotions in general, the blue part of his eyes has this whole galaxy/star look to it.

Apparently, this is also a trait that a certain lost legendary family has - apparently, their family were given these eyes, heriditary since birth, as a 'blessing' from the stars themselves for charting them as they were once astronomers. So maybe they are connected? Or is that family not the only one? There are seriously a lot of mystery about those…

Day 18: Mirror

Rare gijinka entry, this time, because I am paying my dues for @somethinginworl's gikabi server. You may remember Seikyo - yes, that is their name - from a past story... yeah, that's the gijinka being featured here. Due to some weird Mirror World rules (and the fact that Seikyo is, well, created not by the mirror specifically, it's by Shadow Kirby), you can consider them a weird outlier... or a mirror of the rest of Team Starstruck that isn't Kirby. Weird how there is no mirror of those two, eh?

The actual gijinka design doesn't look like this, they just... dressed, for the occasion. Don't worry about it!

Day 19: AU/Parallel

Not really something lore intensive or anything but... this is just a really fun bonus. I try to find mutuals who I remember to have Kirby AUs, and then draw their Kirbies just hanging out here, carrying their fav drinks and eating a full pan of strawberry shortcake which they demolished by the time this pic is captured. Madmans.

From left to right we have:

Astral Reiteration AU, a twist on Star Allies lore with big angsty lore and a lot of creative liberty by @george228732;

NextGen AU, pretty much a future AU where Kirby became the king of Dreamland by @itsquakey;

...you know what this one is, by me;

And finally, SkyArc AU, which is "what if Dreamland is a bunch of floating islands and everything takes place up up in the sky?" by @autumnleafdraws.

I was racing against time to add AR!Kirby to the mix LMAO. I just love all these little goobers.

While I can't speak for the rest of the Kirbies... Here's a little lore something for TU!Kirby, the usual: this little guy loves milk coffee! He prefers it like that compared to his Meta Knight who prefers it extra black. He keeps both ratios balanced most of the time though.

[parakaryote]

The Hellhound of Harenocus

The Hellhound (also known as the Divine Sighthound) is a rather unsettling demigod. Befitting her title and appearance, she acts as a hunting dog for the gods, chasing down anything and anyone that threatens the integrity of their universe.

Uniquely among demigods, she can freely rip through the veils separating dimensions, allowing her to travel wherever she likes whenever she likes. This makes her job very easy.

Her eye-straining CMYK-esque palette is a point of intimidation. She doesn’t need stealth once she’s torn through into the mortal world. If you can see her, you’re already screwed.

More lore under the cut:

In Harenocus, “demigod” refers to former mortals who have been granted immortality and limited divine powers by a true god. Yes, the Hellhound was once human, though any details have long, LONG been lost to time. She… may or may not actually remember herself.

Her “coworker”, the Heavenhawk, is often sent to tail her on missions to keep her from getting too carried away. She is fully aware of this and resents it.

She has a humanoid form (albeit with a doglike head still).

Can’t stand hot weather.

She has a long tail, and her fur goes all the way down her back to its tip. Here’s a picture of a full-body design (head shape and claw / tooth colour are outdated, but whatever)

[etlu-yume]

this this this.

I didn't realize the thing about college/uni courses only teaching unity, but at the same time I'm not surprised because I swear that graphic design-adjacent courses pretty much ONLY do adobe products. (And then complain when Adobe will not give them a good price to use their products on-campus so everyone gets shoehorned into buying their own subscriptions or pirating the software to do the coursework)

So many of these companies have a chokehold monopoly on entire industries and it's REALLY sickening to see the realities start to unfold.

(For instance, Adobe recently stopped supporting Type1 Fonts [aka postscript fonts which were introduced by adobe in the 80's aka a lot of your older font families were floating around in a T1/Postscript format like idk Times New Roman or Hel-fucking-vetica. Add in the problems with the breakdown of Pantone support which I know from personal exp is starting to royally screw over printers because Pantone swatches aren't available in adobe programs and they're only giving you the CMYK breakdown for the colour swatch now... the whole thing's a royal mess. A dogs breakfast. Even worse than the backwards-compatible "oh xyz supplier only uses CS6 so you need to save for backwards compatibility".)

In the advent of Unity's new bullshit, I remind you:

MOST COLLEGE VIDEO GAME DESIGN CLASSES TEACH UNITY AND UNITY *ONLY.*

A GREAT DEAL OF THE GAMES YOU AND I PLAY EVERY SINGLE DAY ARE UNITY GAMES.

THE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY *IS NOT UNIONIZED* AND THEREFORE DEVS HAVE VERY LITTLE ABILITY TO FIGHT THIS.

If you see your favorite games vanish suddenly, it's NOT bc the devs don't want you to play them. It's because Unity is a dick.

If I see you get mad at the indie devs that are being forced to either delete their work forever or cough up money they don't have, I'm biting you and your arm is coming with me.

[itsthevioletqueen]

C.M.Y.K.

[kkrune]

And here’s a little something I did for a GaloLio event in Taipei just before I leave~ GaloLio is love. GaloLio is life <3

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

Random AU question. In an AU where everyone has at least one partner Pokémon that follows them around and is not required to be in a Pokéball (think Ash and Pikachu), what Mons do the Ninja and their allies have? They can have more than one and gift Mons for the sake of being partners/companions/service Mons are totally a thing as well.

 I actually did answer this before! (It’s a beast to find on the blog, but I managed) Also, I’m only really familiar with Gen 1, so I only chose from the original 150, and there was some back and forth that improved my initial ideas.

Jay has a Voltorb named Scrap.

Cole has a Cubone named Percy (short for Percussion)

Kai has a Vulpix named Vixxy

Nya has a Squirtle named Snapper

Pixal has a Porygon named Cmyk (pronounced ”See-Mick”)

As much as I think Zane should had an ice type, I still kind of want to give him a Pidgey named Falcon.

And Lloyd has an Evee named Butterscotch. Which hatched from an egg laid by Licorice, Garmadon’s Umbreon that got left behind in Ninjago when he was banished and found Lloyd.

IDK if Wu should have an Espeon or a Sylveon. Either way, I think it’s named Taffy. (I made a exception to the Gen 1 thing for Eveelutions, because screw you I can.)

-Ivy

[sassypotatoe1]

Just to add to this, I also did large files specifically for huge ass pillows and comforters and appliance stickers for a while before I got a full time job and the shop I was designing for wanted to scale down their selection. Your computer is the biggest part of this equation. You'll want an 8gb ram minimum, 32bit graphics interface and a 16gb storage drive. If you don't have that, invest in a graphics card and ram upgrade.

You'll be able to do large designs with those specs granted you store the final design externally (I recommend minimum of 2tb external hard drive) and Defrag your computer weekly (I'm serious don't skim on this step or you will lose work to your computer crashing). You'll also, like op said, have to work on 300dpi. The industry standard is 600dpi for graphic design, but unless you have some serious processing power which will cost an arm and a leg, large files at 600dpi are not feasible. You'll eat up your ram and spend 7 minutes waiting for a single brush stroke to load.

I also recommend making your files on 16 bit, not 32, because again it will eat up your ram and spit out the mush. Size the canvas by mm to the largest size you want to print, then add an inch on every side for bleeds. Bleeds are the extra space in the margins that get cut off after a print is printed. That should ideally be blank space the color and texture of your image background. It ensures crisp edges on your prints instead of awkward white outlines.

Also invest in a guillotine (the paper trimming kind not the rich people exterminator kind) and if you're printing yourself trim your prints. If you're going through an external printer, add bleed guides so they know where to trim the prints.

That would be the solid pink line. There should be an option on whichever program you use to add those, so look for it.

Always make your prints on CMYK color scale, not RGB. CMYK is what printers use to make color, and RGB is for screens. If you make it on RGB don't worry too much, just do a test print and change colors accordingly or convert it to CMYK after the fact.

Service your printer. It's not something many people think about, but if you print a lot, and frequently, get someone to just clean up everything inside and tighten screws again or whatever it is they do when they service printers. Do that once every year or two or when you notice more mistakes in prints.

That's all I can think of right now but happy art making and there's plenty of resources on YouTube if you look for graphic design tutorials.

How are the prints of your art so freaking beautiful? I have three of your 24x36 prints and they're the best looking pieces in my whole collection and I wish I could get my art (digital) to look half as good in a large print but I just can't figure it out. Is there some special trick to it or just your own brand of magic? Love you and your work <33

Oh thank you! I do have some tips!

If you're looking to get the crispness at scale, I think the most important factor is the size of your art. I work on big canvases, at least 8000px on the shortest side. This requires a computer that is haunted by a powerful ghost, but painting at that scale results in a finished file that you can print at large sizes (posters, wall tapestries, etc) and it'll look fantastic. As a rule of thumb, figure out the largest dimensions you want to print at before you start painting, and set up your canvas to that size at 300dpi.

Be ready to make levels/curves adjustments to your artwork to compensate for differences between how your piece displays digitally and how it prints. I usually do a couple test prints and tweak the files from there. Digital art is going to print darker/less luminous than you see it on your screen, so I make my files brighter than I actually want them to be, and they darken and turn out looking right in print.

Select paper stock with your artwork in mind — matte and semi-matte papers are much preferred for darker art like mine. And possibly for all art, all the time. Brightly colored art can work on glossy paper but idk, I don't like glossy prints in general. Maybe…too shiny? Too squeaky? I feel like a bird is going to come grab it out of my hand? on reflection, this may be a personal problem

If you're making prints at home, squint suspiciously at your printer while it prints. Keep it self-conscious, keep it on its A-game. An unsupervised printer may try to pull one over on you. Don't let it happen.

I hope that's helpful somehow! a lot of it is still mysterious to me also, don't be discouraged if it takes some trial and error!

[7goodangel]

Oof - made this pretty quick, though had the design for a while!

Yep! Another version of PJ! This time - April Fools edition!

(Yeee April Fools folks! I am horrible at these types of jokes so I just straight up say it at the beginning!)

Either way.... this is Gaiden - A Swap!PJ (Swapped with @lollzida​‘s Domino). They are a huge nerd - like... super huge!

Yes, is this scenario, they are still an ErrorInk mess made by accident. But both of them don’t really know where their obsession with anime/manga, graphic novels, and - more importantly - the observation of tropes - came from.

Their CMYK color scheme is a little muted - but their personality is out of this world. Out of multiple worlds honestly - due to how excited they are about almost anything. 

Guys - they’re a happy PJ. From the get go... 

They have two possible weapons (one is seen in the pic above). The two items are actually metal bars with screw points at the top and bottom - making it possible for them to combine them together or attach other add-ons to it! The list of possible weapons then? Pretty much any type of painting tool other than a paintbrush!

However - they are not much of a fighter - they rather describe stories! To draw them, to see if the world around could be slightly manipulated to what they want to see... etc!

-----

Anyway - this isn’t the ONLY thing I’ll do with them today (or for the rest of this week cause heck I be busy). I will accept asks for Gaiden until the end of Sunday, April 5th! 

So go ahead and poke at this PJ for a while! They’ll love to have some company to talk to!

((Also under read more is additional sketch of their design phase))

(and April Fools to myself I guess cause I FORGOT TO ADD THEIR TAIL TO THE MAIN PIC AAAAAA)

[tigerstripedmoon]

Why is everyone so upset about the ODS sticker thing? Does lighting not affect color that way? I'm really confused and I know you said you work in graphic design, so can you explain?

Not gonna lie, you’re putting me in a really weird spot, Anon. I had to do a little more research, because 1) I didn’t precisely know who ODS was referring to (I don’t follow that blog) and 2) what sticker thing you meant. So now that I’m kinda caught up on it--I’m just going to approach this as I would if someone came to me with an issue at work.

I deal with graphics and printing every day. It’s part of my job; I do graphic design and marketing materials when I’m not doing tech writing, and I’ve been doing this weird mix for over a decade. When it comes to Photoshop or Illustrator or whatever graphics program you use, the colors on the screen will not be exactly what you see when you print. This is due to internal screen lighting, how RGB monitors work vs CMYK ink, etc. This means that to ensure you get an accurate sense of what your end product will look like (if your intent is print), you need to print it a few times while doing it to make sure you’re getting it right. This is especially true if you’re like me and have to match the Pantone color system. And this applies even if you work in another medium like markers and then scan it in, which I do on occasion. (Screw Copic, Tonbow makes the best marker sets omg.) The colors won’t scan precisely, so you really need to make adjustments in an app like Photoshop before proceeding.

Now, ambient lighting will affect what’s printed... but only to a point. How much it will wash it out depends on whether it’s paper, plastic, etc. What light will not do is change the base hue of a color. If it’s got warm undertones it won’t suddenly look cool, dark greens greens won’t turn bright purple, etc. If it’s green it will still be green, even with halogen or LED lightbulbs. And that seems to be where the controversy is?

I’ll put it like this. I do a lot with artwork of people who are racially diverse. If someone handed me press copy with skintones that were pale pink and told me that they were of a person I knew was supposed to be of East Asian origin, I’d demand to know what happened with the original artwork file because either they messed up when doing color correction or they didn’t pay attention to the original assignment.

It looks to be a small detail, but it has large implications to many other people. It does them a disservice, and ultimately it does the artist a disservice to their work if they don’t apply themselves to those small details because then the best of their work will get overshadowed.

I hope this answers your question, Anon. Any more in-depth and you’ll have to pay me, lol.

[auber-packaging]

March and April are the months for #sakura to bloom. Today we will show you a hand cream tube printed with sakura. Well its #design is quite elegant and with excellent CMYK printing, the whole packaging tube looks soft and comfortable. Feel the breeze under the sakura trees.

#cosmetic #lipglosstube #vendors #cosmetictubes #industrytrend #beauty #ecofriendly #custompackaging #brandingdesign #洗顔料

https://www.cosmetic-tube.com/products/d40mm-sakura-hand-cream-tube-packaging-with-screw-on-cap

[virmillion]

Ibytm - T minus 53 seconds

Masterpost - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - ao3

Words: 3,665

Logan wedges his finger in the impossibly tight space between his neck and the collar of his shirt. Is it normal to be this nervous? He’s just waiting for coffee in front of a museum. It’s not like it’s a date or anything. Of course, that negates Logan’s decision to wear a nicer tie than normal. He could always claim it was laundry day, but laundry day is Sunday, so everything is clean for the upcoming week. Not that Cadmium would know that. Would he? Is he even going to show up? Just because Logan specifically requested Cadmium as his fetch kid, that doesn’t guarantee he’ll get him. Being the creator doesn’t mean pulling every string, but it’s not like it even matters, because Logan doesn’t really care if it’s Cadmium or not, no siree, pure apathy here all the way.

He loosens his collar again, then fidgets with his tie for a few minutes. Covered in a gentle plaid of purple and blue, it’s the only pop of color he allowed himself over a dark grey shirt and khakis. Will Cadmium think Logan is trying too hard to mimic his color scheme from the park? Cadmium will probably hate it, will say Logan’s just some weird guy from a museum tour, that he’s nothing more than his little eccentricities, a light piece of entertainment and nothing more, that—

“It’s not very often that I get special requests for a personal fetch quest fulfillment, you know.” Logan sees Cadmium’s shadow before gathering the courage to meet his eyes, clearing his throat and giving his collar one last tug. “Of course, I thought it couldn’t’ve possibly been you, since I know how much you love my usual drink. Here’s your fancy pants latte with all the fix-ins.” Cadmium thrusts a styrofoam tray at Logan, angling the smaller drink for easier access. His other hand remains behind his back.

“Oh! Oh, yeah, um, right, let me just finalize the—”

Cadmium waves off Logan’s attempts to pay him back for the order. “I stole both your drinks last time, call it even.” His face flushes a soft pink as he seems to realize something. “You, um—you did get the delight one for me, right? I’d hate to just assume—”

“Yeah, no, for sure, that’s all yours. If you want it, I mean.” Logan finally takes his drink in both hands, rocking back and forth on his feet and laughing uncomfortably. Cadmium echoes the sound, looking anywhere but at Logan, who takes the opportunity to admire Cadmium’s outfit. Under the green cardigan from the first time Logan saw him, Cadmium wears a pale grey T-shirt with a pastel alien across the front, paired with skinny jeans that proudly bear no holes. Possibly a first, as far as Logan’s seen. Logan opens his mouth to say something—compliment the outfit, mention the matching shirt colors, something , but Cadmium beats him to the punch.

“Oh! I, ah, I actually did bring something. For you, I mean. If that’s okay, I mean, like, I brought it because I assumed the coffees were, well, you know, so I, um, I just, yeah, you know? I mean, here you go.” Cadmium pulls his other arm out from behind his back, revealing a single red rose in front of an even redder face. “I don’t, like, know anything specific about the color meanings of flowers or whatever, but I thought maybe, I mean, if you didn’t—”

“It’s great,” Logan interrupts, gingerly accepting the flower. “It’s really, really nice.” Cadmium huffs what Logan can only hope is a sigh of relief. “Um, shall we?” Logan gestures toward the entrance doors with his coffee hand, poking out his other elbow—far enough for Cadmium to link in his own if he were comfortable with that, close enough to himself that it could be mistaken for a casually awkward pose. Hopefully.

“Well, how about that?” a familiar voice says at the entrance. Patton scratches the back of his neck with one hand, flicking his wrist to check an imaginary watch with the other. “I never expected to see the famed Virgil here on a day that doesn’t start with ‘T,’ much less with a suitor on his arm!” Cadmium yanks his hand quickly away from the crook of Logan’s elbow, his eyes brimming with panic. Logan busies himself with looking absolutely anywhere else. “So, which of you’s paying for this little date?”

Logan trips over himself to protest how it’s not a date, but once again, Cadmium beats him to the punch, all the panic gone from his face. Or maybe Logan was only imagining it to begin with. Cadmium slips his arm back into Logan’s. “My little nerd here will be paying, as I already did him the honor of getting us drinks. Logan, pay the nice man.” Too numb to do much of anything else, Logan switches his rose to his coffee hand and passes Patton the first bill he finds in his pocket—a gently crumpled twenty.

Patton trades it for a ten and waves them in, laughing to himself. “I’m surprised at you, Virgil. I would’ve thought you’d try to argue that free admission days begin with ‘T,’ and ‘today’ starts with a T, or something like that.”

“Gotta keep ’em on their toes,” Cadmium calls over his shoulder, tugging a dumbfounded Logan inside. Once they’ve burst into the cool air conditioning of the lobby, Cadmium takes a long drink from his cup and stares at Logan. “So I guess that secret’s out, huh?”

“I’ll still call you Cadmium, if you prefer.”

“Nah, nah, it’s out, it’s too late, it’s fine. You were probably gonna find out eventually, right? Plus, I mean, it’s not like you can just walk around calling me a bone-strengthener forever.”

“That’s calcium.”

“Close enough.”

“I mean, not really close at all. Cadmium is usually found in batteries, and—”

“Close enough. Gimme that rose for a sec, would you?”

Logan hands it over and patiently waits for his feet to catch up with his mind as Cadmium—well, Virgil—walks away, fiddling with the stem of the flower. “What’re you—”

“Shh, just hold on. Walk next to me and pretend I just said something really funny.”

Albeit in a confused manner, Logan complies, bumping shoulders with Virgil. “Why did you—”

“One of your coworkers over there, from that first fetch quest at your office.” Logan tracks the angle of Virgil’s jerked chin to see Roman glancing sidelong at them. “Okay, hand out.” Virgil slips the rose—now fashioned into a thorny bracelet—over Logan’s wrist, careful to keep the sleeve between the thorns and his skin. “Here, try to look lovestruck or something.”

“I don’t—”

“Come on, we can pretend we’re on a date, it’ll be fun.” Logan (surprising no one) doesn’t know what to do, so he just stares at the rose. “It’ll screw with your coworker so bad, c’mon.” Taking Logan by the rose-adorned hand, Virgil drags him out of the lobby and into the room opposite from where they first met—well, first made eye contact, anyway, but who’s keeping track? (Logan. Logan is keeping track.) It’s probably just his imagination, but Logan can almost feel Roman’s eyes burning holes into his back.

“Alright, my dude, my guy, my home slice of pineapple and cheese,” Cadmium— Virgil , Logan reminds himself, that’s going to take some getting used to —says . “Walk me through the deeper meaning of this statue here.”

Logan adjusts his glasses, then adjusts them again. It’s admittedly weirder than he expected, being on the other side of this whole tour business. “Right, yes, um, see here, how it’s got blue coloring—”

“Paint,” Virgil corrects.

“Right, so it’s got blue paint along where the front of its teeth should be, and on the CMYK spectrum, blue—”

“Cyan.”

“Is opposite yellow, which represents the sun, and since they don’t have white or yellow on their teeth, but instead yellow’s opposite, it’s implying the absence of sun in their life, which leads to a lack of Vitamin D, the lack of which is a common catalyst for bone pain and muscle weakness. Many people break bones earlier in their life due to being more adventurous, so the artist is lamenting the loss of child-like wonder throughout adulthood by displaying the lack of it in their muse’s smile.”

Virgil rubs the flats of his knuckles along his chin, nodding slowly. “You took more leaps than I’d recommend for a first timer, but it wasn’t entirely terrible.” He angles his head across the room to where a couple of children are complaining loudly about their boredom to an unimpressed chaperone. “Let me show you how it’s done. Don’t take notes, that’s intellectual plagiarism.”

Virgil strolls to the painting just beside the one cluttered with children, folding his hands behind his back and rocking on the balls of his feet. A dumbfounded Logan follows close behind. “You know, Logan,” he says in a much louder voice than necessary, “I always knew it was the adults that were wrong.” The kids seem vaguely disinterested at best, but Virgil continues undeterred. Lots of practice, Logan supposes. “I mean, forcing them to do boring stuff like chores and homework when they have the audacity to do this kind of nonsense for fun?” The kids hardly bother to hide it as they turn to listen. However bored they might be, Virgil’s nonsense is surely more interesting than a soccer mom on her phone.

Logan loses the conversation thread almost as soon as he picks it up, but he’s pretty sure Virgil hits some objectively irrational points, including (but not limited to, because Virgil is apparently nothing if not limitless) nature, sticky glitter, scissors, trampolines, cats, a family-friendly version of a particular being in possession of three separate mammary glands from a particular sixth location with a four mile disaster zone radius, and key lime pie.

Once Virgil finally, finally, finally stops—for a breath or dramatic effect, Logan couldn’t say—he looks expectantly at the kids. Wide eyed and mouths agape, they simply stare at him, waiting for more. Virgil nudges Logan’s shoulder, gesturing vaguely at the mom that is still paying approximately zero iotas of attention. Logan, understandably bewildered and running low on improv-based creativity, crouches down to balance on the balls of his feet, levels his eyes with theirs.

“Do you know how he knows all that?” The smaller one—a girl of a slight build with braids shooting out the sides of her skull—shakes her head slowly. The boy—her brother, probably—just stares back at Logan. Logan leans in closer, willing a mischievous glint into his eyes as he lowers his voice conspiratorially. “It’s ’cause he’s from Neptune.”

The girl nudges the boy, her braids whapping against her face. “That means he’s an alien!” As his face explodes into a grin, the boy knocks his head against the woman’s leg.

“Mom, mom, that guy’s an alien! He told me so!”

“That’s very nice, Virgil. Is this your way of saying you want to see a different exhibit?” As the mom tugs the still stunned kids away, Logan straightens and glances at his companion.

“What’re the odds, huh? Heck of a coincidence.”

“No such thing as coincidences,” Virgil replies. “Just cloning experiments gone wrong.”

“That is quite possibly the most upsetting thing I’ve ever heard out of your mouth that wasn’t part of a tour.”

“How upsetting are my tours?”

“You did find a way to argue that Julius Caesar was responsible for the decrease in skittle flavored chapsticks.”

“One of my best rabbit holes, if I do say so myself.” Virgil glances back toward the lobby and shrugs off his cardigan.

“What’re you—”

“Patton and your coworker dude are both looking over here. Put this on and try to look cute.”

“Try?” Logan pretends not to feel just a little wounded by the implication that he doesn’t already look good and slips the cardigan on over his shirt. Well, he tries to—the bulky sleeves do a remarkable job of getting in the way and preventing literally any leeway past his elbows.

Virgil considers him for a moment before taking the cardigan back. “Got anything on under that shirt?”

“Yeah, an undershirt, but—”

“Sweater off. I’ll hold your bracelet. Quickly, boys, museum’s not open forever.” Logan complies, more out of fear than anything else, and wonders if anyone else has ever gone from ‘fine’ to ‘deeply uncomfortable’ in an art museum before. Mercifully, Virgil is quick as a whip in slipping the cardigan over his bare arms. Logan wonders whether it would be weird to comment on the complete lack of an outstanding smell to mark it as Virgil’s. Rather than supplement the question with evidence, he just watches as Virgil takes his discarded sweater and tugs it over his head.

“Check it out, sweater swap! Here, give me your tie, I want to play with it.” Hardly waiting for permission (which Logan would’ve given anyway), Virgil undoes the tie—a full windsor, if anyone’s curious, which Virgil isn’t and wasn’t—and fashions it into a bracelet. He holds it up to Logan’s rose bracelet and grins. “Matchy matchy?”

Logan huffs a laugh. “Matchy matchy.”

With that fascinating wardrobe change out of the way, Virgil leads Logan into the next room, asking for various opinions about various artworks as he goes. “I’m going to pretend I don’t know you stalk my tours when I tell you this, but the next room has, like, amazing lighting. There’s this pink and orange mosaic that shines on the floor where—”

True to form, Logan loses track of Virgil’s words as his attention turns to the feel of the cardigan against his skin. He only really finds his way back to the physical plane when he feels Virgil’s hand leave his arm.

“Okay,” Virgil says, “stay right there, put your hand on your hip and strike—yes! That’s it, hold it right there.” Virgil switches from framing Logan’s silhouette with his thumbs and index fingers to snapping pictures with his phone. “Look at the second to last painting on the east wall. No, the east wall—okay, that’s south, one more try—hold it! The light here is perfect , Logan, hold still! Oh, perfection.”

Logan wonders idly whether he looks as ridiculous as he feels. Probably. As he drops the pose and joins Virgil in pretending to terrorize a statue for the amusement of more children, he opens the camera on his own phone. Two can play this game, it’s just that Logan can play it better. At least, provided Virgil doesn’t know he’s playing.

At every chance he gets, Logan snaps a candid of Virgil, doing a very poor job of hiding it. Maybe Virgil’s just pretending not to notice. It doesn’t really matter, anyway, since Virgil stops basically every ten feet to demand Logan use the full potential of the environment. Where Virgil’s shots are all artsy and dramatic and well lit, Logan’s are blurry and consist largely of Virgil fidgeting with the tie wrapped around his wrist. Logan can almost see the headlines now— Bigfoot: Spotted en Route to a Job Interview at the Museum!

“Oh my goodness, you two are so cute!” a little old lady exclaims, shuffling over with a pale pink purse clutched to her chest. To Logan’s relief, she interrupts Virgil from noticing Logan taking a picture of how the filtered light washes golden dust over the sleeves of the grey sweater bunched up to his elbows. Pure luck, nothing more. “Are you on a date? Do you boys want me to take a picture for you?” Logan hides his phone as Virgil glances at him suspiciously in response to the mention of a picture being taken. Perhaps not Logan’s best move, but at least he got a good shot out of it.

“That would be wonderful, actually, thank you so much!” Virgil says, stepping beside her. “Okay, so you just press this button here, and—ope, that was a selfie, whoops! Okay, and just—yep, that’s it, and just press the white button!” The lady grins as she holds up the phone between two quivering hands, waiting for Virgil to finish fixing Logan’s sleeves. Once he’s finally content, he wraps an arm around Logan’s waist and hugs him to his side, resting his head atop Logan’s hair. They both flash bright smiles as Logan leans into the embrace, kind of surprised that he doesn’t have to fake the happy expression. The weight on his head is admittedly pretty alien, but by no means unwelcome.

“Alrighty, I think I got it! I might’ve taken too many, though,” the impromptu paparazzi says.

“Nonsense, I’m sure they’re perfect.” Virgil flutters his hands as if to shoo away the preposterous notion, chattering politely as they look through the pictures. Logan busies himself with staring at a painting to keep anyone from noticing how beet red his face is.

“How long have you two been together? It looked like you were still getting to know each other, what with all your picture taking!”

“Ha, yeah, we just met pretty recently, actually! I do tours here sometimes, mostly at a cheaper rate for high schoolers on field trips.”

The lady places a dainty hand over her lips, her eyebrows shooting up. “My word , are you the famous Ya Boi Virgil? My grandson raves about you, he swears you’re the only thing that kept him from failing his art history final!”

Virgil ducks his head, catching Logan’s eye and grinning. “Oh, please, he had it in him the whole time, I’m sure.”

The lady pats his elbow affectionately and sets her sights on Logan. “You better hold onto this boy tight, before someone else snatches him up, y’hear?”

Logan is taken aback, to say the least. “I, uh, yeah. Yes. Um, ma’am. Yes, ma’am.” Nodding like she’s satisfied that Logan can hold onto Virgil long enough to last, she gives both boys a little wave and disappears in the direction of the lobby. Logan sidles up to his companion. “Ya Boy Virgil?”

“Boi, with an I,” Virgil corrects. “‘Mister’ is too official for someone of my caliber, so I modified it to suit my standards. My job here is unofficial, so my title might as well be the same, right?”

“Yeah, speaking of which, what is your job? I mean, do you just talk at teenagers for a living, or what?”

“I don’t know, it just kinda happened out of nowhere, y’know?” Virgil moves on to the next room, still scrolling through the pictures. “I’ve been coming here ever since I was little, and I was basically a talking fixture that would history rant at anyone who would listen. The mid-higher ups just kind of unofficially brought me on board and started advertising my tours to schools, since I was already an unpaid tour guide, so I might as well have been bringing in revenue, y’know? I just do Tuesdays and Thursdays because I don’t love charging kids, but sometimes they’ll give me tips, so I get more than just fun out of it.”

Logan nods, trying to reconcile this information with how he’d been raised—attend college, get a job in a competitive field, rise through the ranks, reach the top, then quit and take half the company with you to start your own business. The real company you’d take along was literally the friends you made along the way. “Does that really net you enough to live off of?”

Virgil seems to stiffen at that, and Logan immediately wishes he were off being the only population on Neptune right now. “The fetch quests help, but I do well enough. Thanks for the assumption that I can’t keep my own life in order, though, I really love being looked at as a child. Because of course anyone without a steady nine to five job must be missing some crucial key necessary for surviving adulthood.”

“I—I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“M-mm,” Virgil interrupts, shaking his head. The seconds of silence stretch on, but Logan doesn’t dare speak again. Finally Virgil continues, “It’s fine. I’ve just had a lot of people get on my case about this stuff, and I didn’t really consider it to be first date discussion territory.” Logan nods, an almost imperceptible dip of his chin as he waits for the tension in the air to suffocate him. At Virgil’s continued silence, it becomes increasingly clear that he won’t be speaking first. Logan exhales.

“I really am sorry.”

Virgil stops walking.

“I promise you, it’s fine,” he says, turning to face Logan. “Not even a thing, as long as you don’t bring it up again. I am perfectly alright, see?” He peels his lips back from his teeth in what might be callously called a smile to prove his point.

“Okay, well, um, I’ve got a topic change for you. We’re at the end of the museum.” Logan gestures to the lobby, where Roman is still loitering. Weird. “I, uh, am I going to see you again? Er, can I?”

Virgil hesitates, then holds out his hand. Logan stares at it. “Phone?”

“Oh. Oh!” Logan unlocks his phone and hands it over, watching Virgil add himself to the contacts list—‘Cadmium,’ followed by a battery emoji.

“And to answer your question, yes, we have to see each other again.” Virgil holds up the tie looped around his wrist. “You’ve still got my headphones and that cardigan, so I’m holding your tie hostage until both items are back in my possession.” With that, Virgil spins on his heel and walks out the front door, waving to Patton as he goes. Patton barely acknowledges it, too absorbed in conversation with Roman, who’s pretending not to stare at Logan. Logan doesn’t notice, his eyes focused on how Virgil’s silhouette is imprinted in the ghost of the sunspots in his eyes.