#screenrant ripoff

[irarelypostanything]

RWBY Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have an animated web series for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. It's called RWBY, and it's about four teenagers with superpowers

Producer: Very cool. So it's kind of like "Teen Titans"?

Writer: Um, I guess. If "Teen Titans" had a lot more death, and if humanity was on the brink of extinction by violent monsters

Producer: Oh gosh, so it's more like "Attack on Titan?"

Writer: Not really. The first two seasons are about fun high school things, like dances, and crushes, and sports

Producer: That's sweet. And how does the third season pick up?

Writer: The main character is going to watch as her two best friends are violently murdered before her eyes

Producer: Oh my God

Writer: Yeah, very brutal. And to add to it, we're going to make her a bunch of theme songs that say "red like roses" a bunch of times, when red is obviously blood

Producer: Sorry, I'm very confused. Is this show for children?

Writer: Well it's kind of fun for everyone. It has fairy tales, heroes, villains, robots, anime fights...

Producer: Magic?

Writer: NO

Producer: So tell me a little about the world-building

Writer: Okay, so every main character has a superpower called a semblance, and people use this thing called "dust" that has a variety of special powers

Producer: Is dust magic?

Writer: No. And there are these four maidens who have godlike powers

Producer: Are maidens magic?

Writer: No. And there are these four relics with special powers, and this one really evil character who can summon monsters and is called an evil witch

Producer: Okay, so she's definitely magic

Writer: Please stop saying magic

Producer: Fair enough. Tell me about the main character

Writer: Her name is Ruby, and she leads a team called RWBY, and the R in RWBY stands for Ruby

Producer: What?

Writer: And she's basically the second strongest character in the series. She can move faster than bullets, carries a massive gun like a sheet of paper, and has magical eyes that cripple one of the show's strongest villains in a split second

Producer: Did you just say magic?

Writer: Nope!

Producer: So does Ruby grow a lot as a character?

Writer: Kind of. But she's also basically a goddess, right out of the gate

Producer: So what's the problem? It sounds like she can take on anyone

Writer: Well definitely not Salem, that witch

Producer: What's her deal?

Writer: She's kind of like a cross between the Wicked Witch of the West, and a literal embodiment of Satan

Producer: How did she get so strong?

Writer: She couldn't tolerate death, so she was cursed with immortality and evil superpowers

Producer: What?

Writer: Now she refuses to accept the flaws of mankind, and even love and family seem trivial for her even though it was her original motivation

Producer: She sounds fascinating. Tell me more

Writer: No

Producer: Okay. So does she continue to be a really interesting character?

Writer: I don't know. I've written the script for seven seasons, but I still haven't figured out how it ends

Producer: Seven seasons?

Writer: Yes sir

Producer: What happens in seven seasons?

Writer: Well the first three seasons are like a single story

Producer: Very cool

Writer: In season four I break the main characters apart, and in the fifth season I bring them back together

Producer: You have them break apart for one season, then spend another season bringing them back together?

Writer: Well that's not all I do

Producer: What else happens in those two seasons?

Writer: I do a ton of character development, which is somehow still not going to feel like enough, and then I make the plot overly complicated

Producer: Overly complicated plots are tight!

Writer: Then I randomly wrote a really good season that gets silly again

Producer: What do you mean?

Writer: Well it starts with all this compelling scary stuff and badass mythical stuff before devolving into them stealing a military plane

Producer: Is it hard to steal a plane?

Writer: It's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really? Do the military leaders get mad at them for stealing a jet?

Writer: Yeah, for like 5 seconds. Then the last season is going to be about cybersecurity and politics!

Producer: Very cool. What about the witch who you said is basically Satan?

Writer: She still exists

Producer: Fair enough!

[dorkshadows]

BBC Dracula (2020)

I finished BBC’s Dracula LOL. Decided to take my own advice and judge it for myself. So I guess this is my informal “review” of it, spoilers and all. Apparently it’s only 3 episodes, which was... not a good choice given the way it went. But anyway, I went in expecting it to be objectively bad because the trailers were not good and nobody was hyped for it. But I rarely like things the internet is actually hyped for, so ofc I had to give it a chance ;)

Disclaimer: All my personal opinions. Also, the truth is I have never actually finished (or enjoyed) a Moffat show so everything I know about his and Gatiss’ writing comes from tumblr posts I’ve seen in passing (some praise, some complaints, mostly complaints)

Overall, I found BBC Dracula entertaining and it was a lot better than I expected. So things I liked and didn’t like below the cut.

Things I enjoyed:

-Dracula himself was actually kinda hilarious. Did I think the character’s design was attractive? NO. But he was funny to me; there are characters who are so over-the-top bad TM that they become so problematic they circle right back to being non-problematic and he fits into this category. What a hammy villain. Honestly enjoyed his personality and “I’m so evil whatever hahaha” attitude, but I think the creators thought the character was more physically appealing than he appeared.

-Agatha Van Helsing!!! Both of her! My favorite character! You can never go wrong with fem!Van Helsing and even this series couldn’t ruin that. She was so cool. 

-My dad’s galaxy brained review: “This feels less like Stoker’s novel and more like a Gu Long book.”

-For 0.3 seconds, Harker and Mina were Edgar and Shelly Parker and I was weak for them. 

-My standards for Dracula romances are very low, so I was already on my knees thanking the moon and stars when nothing happened between him and Mina. No attraction, no reincarnation, no forced romance! 

-The main “ship” of the show was Dracula and Van Helsing, and like, they actually had good chemistry. They had a pseudo early!Barnabas/Julia vibe minus the romance. Drac was into Agatha because she’s smart, strong, and cultured. Maybe I’m giving this show too much credit, but I actually do think it deserves a kudos for basing Dracula’s attraction to Agatha entirely on her personality. I was down for it, like not in an OTP way nor do I think a ship like this could work without one of them becoming better or more evil, but I was down for it. 

Stuff I’m on the fence about:

-Harker’s casting choice. He just didn’t feel like Jonathan to me. I mean, his acting was good- he just didn’t look the part. But on the other hand, I’m glad he was... not typical fangirl fodder because I’m not strong enough to handle the idea of there being a 500k word b/dsm a/b/o of this version’s Dracula/Harker on AO3 and there being whole essays about how toxic this ship is. Just the idea of any of this happening is too objectively unsexy to me

-I liked the twist at the end of ep 2 lmao. Because I was like “what??” and wanted to see how the hell they’d carry on. The Harker Foundation gave me major Hellsing vibes and for a second, I thought that was they way this show was gonna go lol

-Zoey being able to access her ancestor’s ghost/getting possessed by Agatha by drinking Dracula’s blood. I mean, OK, but it all seemed very convenient and awkward (and a flimsy excuse to do the reincarnation thing without actually doing reincarnation). On the fence bc I love Agatha and IDGAF if she possess her descendant

-Van Helsing’s always one step ahead of Dracula, but it never humbles him for long. Nothing gets to him for more than 5 minutes and 99% of things keep going his way. I mean, it’s fun to watch a villain enjoy being a villain- no tragic backstory or anything, just villainy for the sake of it- but 3 eps down, it’s hard not to call Drac a “mary sue”

Things I did not enjoy:

This screenrant review sums it up better than I ever could: 

https://screenrant.com/dracula-2020-bbc-netflix-bad-disappointing/

-Quincey was not Quincey at all. Arthur was cut (or was he the gay best friend? Hard for me to tell. The treatment of non-straightness in general was #lmao on this show). Lucy’s arc could have been good if it was done less shallowly, but the above review rightfully calls it out. She was being punished for her “vanity.” And I didn’t buy her “in love with death” thing at all- the whole time, it felt like she was being fake-deep and Dracula was dumb enough to take her seriously.

-Mina had it the worst though- reduced brain cells, reduced importance, just reduced in general.

Other thoughts I can’t quite categorize:

The ending was less poetic and more confusing because so little time had passed. I said I was down for Dracula/Agatha but not like this lol. This ending felt like it should have happened after like, 10 episodes of character development with at least 2 instances of villain/hero team-ups. So now he doesn’t fear death because she told him he actually fears death? He’s willing to die with/for her because... ??

It’s a very interesting idea that he can’t feed from Zoey/Agatha because of her cancer. He literally holds no power over her and he can’t save or damn her no matter what he does (unless his blood can cure cancer and I was half expecting that to happen because he’s a mary sue). The only thing he can do is kill himself by drinking her blood so they can die together. It all sounds very poetic and star-crossed rival-lovers-ish on paper, but it was so ??? to watch.

Dracula and Van Helsing had 3-4 memorable encounters, but no real bonding moments (as enemies or otherwise). I could see why Dracula was so weak for Agatha- they succeeded in that. But there’s nothing to support the feeling as mutual. Sure, she thought he was interesting because he was a sentient vampire. But as a person? Nothing happened to justify their “together in death” thing as this great consummation of a relationship. Also, she died as Zoey but he was into Agatha and um... ok.

Also, Dracula’s plan for world domination was forgotten really quickly and had nothing to do with the plot in the end. BBC Dracula honestly would have benefited by becoming a Hellsing ripoff where Zoey Van Helsing keeps the count captive and uses him to solve supernatural shenanigans. At least there would have been a coherent plot and something to justify their attachment to each other.

Final verdict: It had a strong start and could have been a 7/10, but the writers betrayed themselves and now I give it a 4.5/10. The half point is an award because I laughed many times. 

[huttson-blog]

Bruceploitation Explained: Every Bruce Lee Ripoff (Including Jackie Chan) — ScreenRant

Read more at ScreenRant

— by Nicholas Raymond: After Bruce Lee died, a period known as “Bruceploitation” followed, and it spawned a number of Bruce Lee clones. This took place primarily within the Chinese and Hong Kong movie industries in the 1970s, and it happened as a direct result of the unprecedented success that Bruce Lee brought to the kung fu genre in the early 1970s…

Image courtesy of…

[irarelypostanything]

“Invincible” Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant Rip-Off)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have a new superhero series for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. It’s called “Invincible,” and it’s about a superhero named Omni-Man! He’s from another planet, he can fly, he has super strength, and-

Producer: You mean he’s Superman?

Writer: Nope, Omni-Man. He also has this team he’s a part of with other great superheroes

Producer: Is it the Justice League?

Writer: No. It has this super fast guy, this person with fish powers, and this shapeshifting super hero who is implied to be from Mars

Producer: Let me guess. The Flash, Aquaman, and The Martian Manhunter?

Writer: No. Maybe. So Omni-Man’s son has powers of his own, and he decides to become a new superhero named Invincible

Producer: Yeah, I’ll be honest, this sounds like a blatant ripoff of the DC Universe. If you want to get on Amazon, you need to be more like that other super hero show we aired called “The Boys.” You should check it-

Writer: At the end of the first episode, Omni-Man brutally murders everyone else in the group and they have to basically start from scratch

Producer: ...WHAT?

Writer: Yup. We go to credits for like five seconds, then all the characters we just established are killed in the most brutal way imaginable. Especially the fast guy. He has his head explode and can feel every nanosecond of it.

Producer: This sounds amazing. I take back everything I just said

Writer: Yeah, so for the rest of the season we basically ask ourselves why Omni-Man would do such a thing, since he seems like the perfect heroic father at first. We have Invincible start to develop his skill set, and it’s pretty obvious right away that he’s already going to be one of the world’s best heroes

Producer: Who does he fight?

Writer: Well in the second episode there are these aliens from some universe where time passes much more quickly. They keep returning with decades worth of superior technology

Producer: Is it going to be hard to defeat them?

Writer: Actually, it’s going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really?

Writer: Yeah, once Omni-Man shows up he just goes to their universe, destroys an entire planet, and comes back by dinner time

Producer: Is that how it happens in the comic?

Writer: No, but it’s going to be one of the most iconic scenes in the show

Producer: I love it. Who else?

Writer: A robotic mob boss who runs a bunch of illegal operations downtown

Producer: Invincible and Omni-Man took down an entire planet. I imagine it’s going to be really easy for Invincible to take on someone like this

Writer: Actually, it’s going to be super hard. Definitely an inconvenience. Invincible basically almost dies

Producer: Oh my god

Writer: Yeah, and his dad just kind of watches.

Producer: Father of the year right there. What are the other characters like?

Writer: His main love interest is Amber, who doesn’t have super powers or know he’s a super hero, but then there’s Eve, who does know. Love triangle

Producer: Love triangles are tight! Can we make Amber Black?

Writer: Sure. Amber and Invincible’s best friend are able to figure out he’s a super hero because he looks exactly like him, and also because he tends to disappear like five seconds before his alter ego claims to be running for help

Producer: I have to be honest, this supporting cast sounds way too smart. When Amber figures out he’s a super hero, does she forgive him for running off?

Writer: Nope. Because he lied

Producer: Well I mean, he lied to protect her. That’s what super heroes do, right?

Writer: I don’t know. She was kind of an afterthought in the comic, so I don’t really care what we do with her. We also have this woman in her 20s who looks 12. She’s another super hero and I was thinking we’d have the actress for Azula play her

Producer: Azula playing a woman who looks 12? Doesn’t sound like a fit

Writer: Her power is that she turns into a giant green ogre that can crush other heroes like twigs. The side effect is she gets younger every time

Producer: Oh, never mind. Yeah, we’ll give her a call.

Writer: There’s this robot who leads the group, but he’s actually freeing prisoners and collecting hero DNA for some sort of nefarious experiment

Producer: Uh-oh! Is he trying to make a perfect version of the hero society so that they can be better at their jobs?

Writer: No, he actually just wanted to transfer his consciousness to a human body so he could date the woman who looks 12

Producer: Oh. But if she keeps getting younger, won’t she be too young for him later?

Writer: We’ll deal with that later. Eventually, Invincible is going to realize Omni-Man was actually sent to conquer Earth, not save it.

Producer: Uh-oh! But Invincible is his son! It will be easy to talk some sense into him and make him change his mind, right?

Writer: Actually, it’s going to be super hard. Definitely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh

Writer: Yeah, he’s going to level an entire city in front of him, and let all the blood and guts get on him. Then he’s going to murder someone he just saved in front of him, destroy a train, knock over some buildings

Producer: He still sounds like a better father than mine

Writer: I definitely don’t want to ask about that! So what do you think?

Producer: Yeah, seems like a great show and I can’t wait to show it to my 6-year-old daughter. She loves the Power Puff Girls

Writer: You’re a worse father than Omni-Man

[irarelypostanything]

RWBY Volume 8 Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant Ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have a new RWBY volume script for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. And before we continue, I really want you to know that I hate RWBY fans

Producer: What?

Writer: Yeah, I just spent the last month on a subreddit called r/rwbycritics. Now I hate all of them

Producer: rwbycritics? Do you think maybe there’s also a subreddit for people who like the series?

Writer: Probably not, and now I’m mad. They complained that it was stupid to bring Penny back, so I’m going to kill her again. Twice. We’re going to make Winter the Winter maiden

Producer: I guess that makes sense. How is she going to die?

Writer: She’ll realize that her death is necessary so that they can transfer her power, so she’ll have Jaune stab her in a move so shocking, even Cinder will be surprised

Producer: Oh my god. Oh, speaking of Cinder-

Writer: Right, everyone complained that Cinder was lame in the last volume. So I thought that in this one, she would kill way more people. We’d also expose her backstory, where it turns out she was an orphan who was abused and then murdered her abusers before turning on her mentor

Producer: Will that backstory make us sympathize with her?

Writer: It shouldn’t, no. They might at first, but then everyone will seriously question why she kills her mentor instead of knocking him out or something. Maybe it's because she feels betrayed, but it still will come across as extremely brutal and unnecessary

Producer: What about the rest of the group? What about Ironwood?

Writer: Continues to be an unwavering figure who threatens to destroy Mantle with a bomb. Probably his semblance

Producer: What’s his semblance?

Writer: Read the wiki

Producer: Fine

Writer: Salem is finally going to arrive. It’s the moment everyone has been waiting for

Producer: Is it going to be hard to defeat her?

Writer: Actually, it’s going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really?

Writer: Yeah, Oscar is just going to reveal that his staff had several lifetimes worth of power pent up. It’s going to shoot at Salem and neutralize her, so that she won’t be able to come back until just after the finale

Producer: Very convenient

Writer: Not really, no. Salem probably could have come back earlier, but she really enjoys watching people tear themselves apart and kill each other

Producer: Why?

Writer: Because I hate RWBY fans and want them to know what it’s like to see your supporters turn against you before they turn against each other

Producer: Again, there’s this other subreddit you should check out full of people who think you’re the greatest writer ever and-

Writer: RWBYCritics really liked volume three, though. Why do you think that is?

Producer: Because it had an extremely likable main character who had to make a difficult decision, complete her character arc, and deal with her own abilities and limitations?

Writer: Nope, I think it’s the death. So we’re just going to have Ironwood start killing people

Producer: Wasn’t he already doing that?

Writer: Then we’re going to have Watts plant a virus in Penny, but the biological side of Penny will be able to resist

Producer: Okay. So I’m guessing they’ll have to roll back Penny’s software, or find the rogue process and terminate it, or locate malformed code and purge it?

Writer: What? No. They’re going to let Penny open the vault, use the staff of creation, and get rid of the virus

Producer: Great!

Writer: But that will cause the entire city of Atlas to fall from the sky

Producer: Uh-oh!

Writer: The Staff of Creation allows them to create anything, but the previous creation will be destroyed. So they’ll get rid of the virus, then build a series of portals to evacuate everyone else...and then Cinder will arrive during evacuation and just try to carry out a massacre so she can get the maiden powers. In the process she’ll betray Neo

Producer: Is a massacre and betraying Neo necessary to obtain the maiden powers?

Writer: No

Producer: Fair enough

Writer: Then the genie of creation will warn them that the nexus is over a bottomless void and that they can’t fall in no matter what

Producer: Could they have asked him to do it without creating an endless void?

Writer: Maybe, but if that were the case I wouldn’t be able to let all of team RWBY fall into the endless void

Producer: WHAT?

Writer: You heard me. All four of them are dead. Jaune, too. And Weiss’ dad. Everyone except Ironwood because that’s literally the only character they like on r/rwbycritics. I also want one of the Ace operatives to have to kill himself, and I want Qrow to live only so that he can witness an entire city burn and then flood

Producer: Burn and then flood?

Writer: Yup. Cinder’s creation request is to add fire

Producer: Is that creation?

Writer: Sure

Producer: So...is that the series finale?

Writer: Yes. The series finale is that all four of them die

Producer: That doesn’t sound like something that will make us money. Maybe we should add an after credits scene that doesn’t explain anything but reveals that they might still be alive

Writer: Fine. So what do you think?

Producer: I like that you’re taking a dark turn in this volume, but I feel like there are a lot of other options they could have pursued with the Staff of Creation

Writer: It’s going to look awesome to see people fight over transparent platforms with illuminated portals before plummeting to their untimely deaths

Producer: Oh, okay. Is it really necessary for the villains to kill so many people, though?

Writer: Yes. Oh hey, now that you mention it, it would probably also be nice if we revealed that some of the Grimm are actually people grotesquely hybridized and possessed

Producer: Please stop

Writer: I can’t. I just want to punish our fans for turning on the series

Producer: Not everyone has turned on the series. You’re only focusing on a subset of the community

Writer: I’ll let the corgi live

Producer: Oh okay. Good. Where does the void go?

Writer: Death

Producer: No…

Writer: Hell?

Producer: How about the afterlife?

Writer: That’s what I just said

[irarelypostanything]

Gen:LOCK Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have a new animated series for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. It’s called Gen:Lock, and it’s going to be a mecha anime

Producer: Mecha anime is tight! How is it going to be different from things like Gundam Wing?

Writer: It’s going to star Michael B. Jordan as a badass pilot named Chase

Producer: Oh, is it?

Writer: Yep, that’s where you come in. I’m also going to need Arya Stark from Game of Thrones, the most popular doctor from Doctor Who, the star of Cowboy Bebop…

Producer: I’ll be honest, convincing Michael B. Jordan to play a badass pilot in a mecha anime is going to be surprisingly easy. Why do we need all these other people, though?

Writer: Well because I need a tough Japanese guy, an eccentric scientist, and a likable teenage girl

Producer: And it HAS TO BE stars like that? There are no other actors you can think of?

Writer: Absolutely. I also need a gender-fluid actor, so get me Asia Kate Dillon, and while we’re at it I’ll need the star of Aggretsuko, too. She’ll die in the first episode...or will she?!

Producer: First of all, you’re the writer and I don’t know why you just asked me that. Second of all, it’s not like Asia Kate Dillon is the only gender-fluid actor. Third, why do we need all this diversity?

Writer: It’s a show that demonstrates the importance of diversity and teamwork

Producer: I guess I can get behind that. If we have a cast this diverse, no one will ever be able to claim the show is offensive in any way

Writer: Oh, and the last team member is an Iranian who used to fight for the other side. Also, Arya Stark is a Scottish hacker bunny

Producer: What?

Writer: Can you get me all these actors, or not?

Producer: Yeah, easily, we can just take it from RWBY’s budget...but you haven’t told me what this show is about. Who are they, and who are they fighting?

Writer: So the main antagonist is a large, global organization called The Union. They are in the process of conquering North America

Producer: What’s their deal?

Writer: They use dark-colored mecha suits, shoot civilians, and torture people

Producer: Right, they sound really evil. But can you tell me more about their motivations, their policy, their leadership?

Writer: No

Producer: Fair enough! So how are the heroes going to stop them?

Writer: So the heroes are part of this new scientific program called Gen:Lock, which grants the users the ability to upload their consciousness into giant robots

Producer: Very cool. Does The Union have anything similar?

Writer: No, the Union can’t innovate

Producer: Why not?

Writer: Unclear. They’re able to use something the heroes can’t, though, which gives them a significant edge. It’s nanotech, which they deploy as smoke, and they seem to be the only ones who have it

Producer: Okay, so they innovated? Or did they steal it?

Writer: I don’t know. Anyway, The Union is really going to get the upper-hand against The Polity, which is the side the heroes are on. They do this by stealing Chase’s mech and brainwashing him!

Producer: Wait, so the badass pilot played by Michael B. Jordan is actually the antagonist?

Writer: Kind of. He’s actually a copy of the antagonist

Producer: They can just copy people?

Writer: Yeah, because Gen:Lock converts them into software

Producer: But if they can convert human personality into software, then modify or copy the software as they please, what does that suggest about the soul?

Writer: You really shouldn’t think too hard about the philosophical implications of converting humans into software

Producer: Okay

Writer: So after a bunch of episodes that explore the philosophical implications of converting humans into software, the main Polity base gets destroyed and the heroes flee

Producer: Is it going to be hard for them to come back from that?

Writer: Actually, it’s going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really?

Writer: Yeah, the Polity was able to deactivate all the enemy nanotech and there was a base conveniently located with the ability to repair all their mecha suits and get them ready for a final showdown against evil Chase!

Producer: But “evil Chase” is actually the real Chase? How do they grapple with the ethical implications?

Writer: They kill him. That’s the finale

Producer: Wait, but that was the real Chase

Writer: Well, he was all alone and tortured. So in a sense, the real Chase already died. Plus, they were able to distract him by having the woman he loved show her face

Producer: Okay so he DOES remember who he was?

Writer: Yeah, but then they kill him

Producer: I have to say, that conclusion leaves me with a lot more questions than answers. Are there more copies? How did The Union get so powerful?

Writer: Wow, it sounds like you’d like to pay me to write the next season!

Producer: DONE.

[irarelypostanything]

RWBY - “With Friends like These” Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have the next RWBY script for me

Writer: Yes, sir, I do. It's called "With Friends like These," and it's where Ironwood's team finally squares off against everyone we know and love

Producer: Speak for yourself. I'm not a huge fan of the Ace operatives, but I LOVE Clover

Writer: Oh really?

Producer: Oh yeah. Definitely an underdeveloped character. I can't wait to see what happens to him

Writer: We'll get to that.

Producer: Awesome. I hope he and Qrow finally kiss

Writer: Going to pretend I didn't hear that. So the Ace Operatives are given orders to arrest team RWBY, and Clover is given orders to arrest Qrow. Tyrian brings down their plane

Producer: How does Tyrian do that?

Writer: He could have done that at any point

Producer: So they all die, right?

Writer: No, but Robyn gets knocked out. The rest of them are okay

Producer: It's very unclear to me what kills people in this universe

Writer: Oh boy, I will tell you!

Producer: I really don't like the way you just smiled

Writer: Getting beaten repeatedly by Tyrian and Qrow and then getting impaled by a sword definitely kills you

Producer: WHAT? Why would Qrow and Tyrian be working together?

Writer: They wanted to settle their score, but Tyrian says they should take care of Clover first

Producer: And that didn't sound like a bad idea to you? If anything, why not team up against Tyrian first?

Writer: Because

Producer: And why not kill Tyrian at the first sign of struggle?

Writer: They can't just kill people

Producer: So they choose to just tie him up or something? Do they at least strip him of his weapons?

Writer: Moving on. So I'm going to have team RWBY fight against the Ace operatives

Producer: Those characters who captured them within seconds last time? I imagine it's going to be really hard to beat them

Writer: Actually, it's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really?

Writer: Yeah, they just kind of do it. I mean, it's a really cool fight, but very inconsequential in the long run

Producer: Inconsequential fights are tight! Still, this team is effectively defying military orders. I imagine there's going to be lots of death, which makes them seriously consider the consequences of their actions

Writer: Nope

Producer: Do any of them die?

Writer: No. Aren't the one who said we should have less death in this show?

Producer: At this point, I am really not sure. The rules of life and death are very unclear

Writer: That's true for reality, too!

Producer: I don't agree

Writer: And unfortunately, reality offers us no real, historical examples of how it feels to carry out unethical military orders, or to defy them

Producer: I don't agree with that, either

Writer: The fight is going to be awesome, and I already commissioned our musicians to make a new soundtrack song

Producer: Oh, I'm fine with everything then. We make tons of money off of all the RWBY fans who pay for the soundtracks on iTunes

Writer: I'm sure you do, which is great considering your fans immediately upload all the songs to YouTube

Producer: What?

Writer: What?

[irarelypostanything]

Pitch Meetings: The Legend of Korra (ScreenRant Ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have a new animated series for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. It's called "The Search," and it's about Zuko's search to find his mother

Producer: That sounds like a terrible idea

Writer: What? Why?

Producer: Because no one cares about the old characters. Let's just make new ones

Writer: Well okay then, but I feel like a lot of people are still going to care about "The Last Airbender" characters

Producer: Just make one of them an old person who's a main character, and give a couple more of them cameos

Writer: Okay. Can I still make "The Search" as a miniseries, at least?

Producer: No, but you can make it a $50 graphic novel

Writer: Great idea. Hopefully no one will try to pirate it

Producer: Fingers crossed! So what was it you said about another idea?

Writer: Oh yeah, so I was thinking we could make a series about the next avatar

Producer: What happened to the previous avatar?

Writer: Well-

Producer: Never mind, I don't care! What is the new avatar like?

Writer: Well you know how Aang is this complex character who has a lot of power, but still has to grapple with the question of whether balance requires violence?

Producer: Right, a little wuss who is stronger than all his friends but somehow lamer

Writer: I feel like that's not what I said

Producer: I feel like it is

Writer: Well I'm going to make Korra the opposite of him in every way: Headstrong, angry, and overly confident

Producer: You mean like Zuko?

Writer: Kind of, but imagine if Zuko had completely normal parents

Producer: I feel like that would make him a stronger character, but also a very uninteresting and conflict-free character

Writer: Moving on. So there's this guy named Amon, and he's super evil

Producer: What's his deal?

Writer: Well he thinks their society is unbalanced in favor of benders, so he permanently takes away their bending

Producer: Interesting! How does he do that?

Writer: Bloodbending

Producer: Sorry, so he's a bender?

Writer: Yeah, so at first he's this really interesting antagonist, but then I remembered the show is supposed to be kid-friendly. We can't have a kids' show end with a violent terrorist being a good character

Producer: Good point. We would catch hell for that

Writer: Yeah, so I thought we'd end his character arc with a very abrupt murder-suicide instead

Producer: What?

Writer: Yeah, you know how "The Last Airbender" was all about the ethics of killing people?

Producer: Right, a very delicate subject

Writer: Yeah I got really sick of that, so I wanted to further explore murder

Producer: Not going to lie, you're kind of freaking me out

Writer: Like, have you ever asked yourself if airbending can be used to suffocate people?

Producer: I'll be honest...that is DEFINITELY a question I have asked myself

Writer: Yeah so the answer is yes

Producer: I don't like where this is going...

Writer: We also have a waterbender get electrocuted, an inventor get exploded, a dictator enter the spirit world to manufacture weapons of mass destruction...just, lots and lots of people are going to die

Producer: You seem to really like death

Writer: I do. I also have a metalbender who binds people to train tracks so that their heads might come off

Producer: Oh my god

Writer: It's okay, though. She was just threatening them so that she could build her unstoppable army

Producer: Whew, that's good. So can Zuko make a cameo in this?

Writer: I mostly wanted to explore Zuko in "The Search." I guess I can have him show up for ten seconds as an old person and immediately get his butt kicked

Producer: That sounds anticlimactic

Writer: I can also throw Toph in, and have her be a complete badass for 10 seconds

Producer: Somehow that makes everything okay

Writer: So what do you think?

Producer: As long as it has the same look and feel as The Last Airbender, it should make us lots of money

Writer: It doesn't, but it will still make you a lot of money

Producer: I love you so much

[irarelypostanything]

RWBY "Enemy of Trust" Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant Ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have the RWBY season finale script for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. And I'm sure you have lots of important questions that we've been building to all season

Producer: Absolutely. Like how is Qrow doing, and does he turn into a crow to escape?

Writer: What? That fight is over. I was talking about the other climactic battles in the series that are-

Producer: Qrow is my favorite character in the series. How does he escape?

Writer: He doesn't. He apparently turns himself in

Producer: Why?

Writer: What do you mean why? His mental state, he's with someone whose semblance is lie detection...can we please just move on?!

Producer: Fine. How is Neo doing?

Writer: Glad you asked! She really crushes team JNPR by using her umbrella

Producer: Her umbrella?

Writer: Yeah, it's by far the strongest weapon in that fight. It's bulletproof and can deflect even Nora's hammer

Producer: Must be one heavy umbrella. But I think you meant to say team JNR

Writer: Right

Producer: Does Neo manage to beat team JNR by haunting them with the form of Pyrrha, who was Jaune's love interest until seconds before she died?

Writer: I have to say, you have really been creeping me out with these pitch ideas

Producer: Don't look at me, you're the one who wrote season three. I hope you're still considering the idea of Ren choosing to side with Ironwood next season and fighting Nora

Writer: Uh...sure. I'll file it with your idea of dropping Atlas

Producer: Yup. Literally. Killing everyone. And speaking of characters who are going to die, how's Penny?

Writer: She becomes the maiden

Producer: Oh does she? I feel like there was no build up to that

Writer: What do you mean? There definitely was

Producer: I guess I'm still just disappointed the villains didn't hack her and turn her into a mass killing machine. Cinder is the second strongest character in the series...is it going to be hard to defeat her?

Writer: Actually, it's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really?

Writer: Yeah, the dying maiden wakes up and stops her

Producer: What is she like?

Writer: She's the most endearing, likable character in the entire season

Producer: Make her die so we can move the plot along

Writer: Yes boss. Finally, I have Ironwood shoot Oscar, which immediately breaks through his aura

Producer: WHAT? You can't do that

Writer: This from the guy who is teeming with bloodlust

Producer: Yeah, death among adults and soldiers. Oscar is a kid. Not cool

Writer: Well in the script, Ironwood shoots once to disable his aura, then shoots again to immediately kill him

Producer: No. Not acceptable. Have him fall into oblivion instead and then miraculously survive, thanks to Ozpin

Writer: Fine. That's pretty much it. What do you think?

Producer: I think Cinder definitely should have killed more than zero people in her fight, fueled by the hatred of seeing Ruby again, and Winter also should have killed more than zero people...but all in all, good season. Way better than 4 and 5

Writer: And 6?

Producer: Not 6, genies and snow death and watching people get their eyes cut out have a special place in my heart

Writer: I threw in a Clover death, just to keep the tone dark and to your liking

Producer: He's literally the only character I DIDN'T want to see die this season

Writer: Oh

Producer: Get out of my office now

[irarelypostanything]

RWBY S7Ep11 "Gravity" Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have the next RWBY episode for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. And I really hope it gets the fans off my back

Producer: What do you mean?

Writer: Well everyone keeps complaining that things are going too well, and the heroes are winning fights too easily

Producer: So you're going to make Ironwood go off the deep end, and his team fight RWBY's team?

Writer: HOW DID YOU KNOW

Producer: I mean, you went out of your way to make a team that was supposedly stronger than team RWBY in every way, minus a few critical things. Did you think everyone would buy that they would work together?

Writer: Yes

Producer: Oh, okay

Writer: So I have this really realistic gun fight between Ironwood and Watts

Producer: What makes a gun fight realistic?

Writer: Well one of them finds cover, and one shoots, and one returns fire...you know, a nice realistic fight to change up the old formula. This is a more realistic, grounded season and I want Ironwood to bring that home

Producer: You should make a badass, anime-style fight where they reverse gravity a bunch of times

Writer: What?

Producer: Do it. It's going to be awesome

Writer: Well okay then

Producer: I also want Watts to win but not kill him, and for Ironwood to only survive by basically breaking his other arm

Writer: Oh my god

Producer: And then I want Watts to explain that it was a fight of brains vs. brawns

Writer: Was it?

Producer: Kind of. I mean, we establish that Watts is a cybersecurity coding genius who can also fight

Writer: Cybersecurity coding geniuses who can also fight are tight!

Producer: Indeed. But I feel like I'm doing all the work here

Writer: Yeah, no, I like that. Way better than my realistic fight that ends in death

Producer: Death? Oh no, we need the heroes to just capture the villains

Writer: Great. Yeah, so anyway it turns out Salem is coming and all of this was a giant distraction

Producer: Duh

Writer: And Ironwood's master plan is actually to have Atlas go up really high, leaving down below to die

Producer: Sounds like a pretty solid plan to me

Writer: It's not. The didn't account for Cinder, and how she's after the maiden

Producer: They didn't account for Cinder? That's pretty smart. I mean, Cinder isn't even really working with them, and so she's basically going to have the element of surprise

Writer: She's going to leave a chess piece so that everyone knows she's back

Producer: Oh she is? Yeah, that's usually what chess pieces indicate

Writer: I feel like you don't know what chess is

Producer: Neither does most anime, so we're winning in that regard. But Cinder is going to let them know she's back, and they're still going to do exactly what she expects?

Writer: Yes

Producer: Fair enough. Can we also have Ruby, the emotionally strongest character in the series, emotionally break down when Salem gives her the memory of her dead mother?

Writer: Absolutely

Producer: Can we have Neo haunt the other team with the memory of Pyrrha by taking her form?

Writer: Oh, wouldn't you like to know!

Producer: I absolutely cannot wait for lots of death and emotional breakdown

Writer: Yeah, I want it to be like season three but with more death. Not killing the villains in this episode is definitely going to make my pent-up desire for murder uncontrollable

Producer: You're kind of freaking me out

Writer: Jaune is going to break down. Ren is going to take the other side. Civilians are going to be slaughtered left and right, all of Atlas is going to crash, and the streets with run red with their blood

Producer: Please stop

Writer: Never

Producer: Can you tone it down just a little bit?

Writer: Fine. I'll let you know how much death I decide to keep next episode

Producer: Good luck with that!

[irarelypostanything]

RWBY S7Ep9 Pitch Meeting (ScreenRant Ripoff)

*Spoilers*

Producer: So I understand you have the next RWBY episode script for me

Writer: Yes sir, I do. It's called "As Above, so Below"

Producer: Why?

Writer: Don't remember

Producer: Why did it take you so long to write it?

Writer: The last week of December and New Years are holidays for most people

Producer: I don't see the connection

Writer: Also, I've been pretty stressed lately. I was trying to enjoy the holiday with my family, then five angry fans texted me that this season is garbage

Producer: Again, don't see the connection

Writer: Anyway, so this episode is kind of the turning point. Weiss finally stands up to Jacques, and arrests him, Oscar tells Ironwood the truth, and the council sides with Ironwood

Producer: Will it be hard to convince them that Ironwood was framed?

Writer: Actually, it's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

Producer: Oh really?

Writer: Yeah, Weiss is going to get camera footage of them revealing their entire plan, and Jacques is just going to...you know...get arrested

Producer: Well okay then

Writer: Yeah, very convenient. Then Ironwood is going to turn over a new leaf and tell everyone on the council the truth

Producer: That he's trying to fix the network?

Writer: Basically. He wants to restore communication in all the kingdoms

Producer: That sounds pretty okay to me. What's so scary about that?

Writer: Well he also has to talk about how they're basically fighting a cross between Satan and an evil witch, and the monsters that threaten all of mankind serve her

Producer: Well I think that's kind of badass, and everyone would unify if they found it out

Writer: Yeah, I guess

Producer: I have a lot of questions about the cybersecurity stuff, though

Writer: Like why Jacques' seat on the council would give him access to all their networks?

Producer: No I mean that kind of makes sense

Writer: Like why no one has updated their software or firmware?

Producer: No I don't care about that

Writer: Like why some scientist and programmer disgraced by Ironwood would see fit to doom all of humanity for all time and become enslaved to an evil demonic witch?

Producer: Kind of. Why are we doing a politics and cybersecurity season?

Writer: Cuz that's awesome

Producer: Fair enough. What else happens this episode?

Writer: I drop a hint that Oscar and Oz might be starting to blur together

Producer: Very disturbing

Writer: It's not supposed to be. I also make it look like Ruby and Oscar are starting to become an item

Producer: Oh my god

Writer: Yeah, I feel like this came across differently on paper

Producer: I hope you know where you're going with this character development

Writer: Me too. I also have Cinder reappear

Producer: Who's that?

Writer: The villain of the entire first three seasons?

Producer: Not ringing a bell

Writer: And she's with Neo

Producer: Neo!! I love Neo!! She's my favorite character

Writer: And yeah, that's pretty much it. So what do you think?

Producer: Well I think that, considering we're not Hollywood and make this a free show and have our own soundtrack and voice actors and animation team, people will be pretty forgiving and not trash this episode on YouTube and reddit

Writer: Yeah, it's a pretty loyal fanbase

Producer: Fingers crossed!