#screen time is literally 16 hours a day

[scullywtf]

being newly disabled has fucking killed me how are others living like this

[captain-daryn]

I’ve been targeted too, dammit

[icaruspendragon]

was telling my therapist about how i've always used books, fanfic, and storytelling as escapism but now instead of me consuming stories, stories consume me. dalton gave me The Look (the one that means he's gonna say something i need to hear but don't want to) before asking, "you know that snake that eats itself?" to which i said, "yeah, ouroboros." and he replied, "i didn't know he had a name, that's cool. anyway, you're the snake. i know you've convinced yourself the consumption is filling, but it's not. when it's you you’re eating, it's destruction."

like yeah i know that’s not what the snake represents and ex-cowboy-turned-combat-vet-turned-trauma specialist dalton probably does not know the exact symbolism behind it but like. jesus christ man did that to lay me to waste at 10:30 on a wednesday morning.

and even though he hurt my feelings with the truth, it did put it into perspective for me.

it’s not levity’s lighthouse guiding me to port when depression’s darkness and anxiety’s turbulent waves make it difficult for me to sail smoothly on my voyage.

it’s not a way to alleviate my symptoms, it’s a manifestation of them.

it’s a compulsion, deceptively insidious when cloaked in distraction’s pseudo-warmth. when easily covered by procrastination’s much easier to swallow explanation.

and i’m sure you want to say “but reading is a healthy coping mechanism!”

and it is. when done in moderation.

it’s no longer coping when your screen time is 16 hours a day. when 12 of those hours a day are spent scuttling about ao3 on all fours. when you sit in the same spot on the couch for hours on end with your head buried in the sand. when it’s literally all you can think about.

the consumption isn’t coping. isn’t creation. isn’t reconstruction or rebirth or reformation. it’s chaos. it’s compulsion.

it’s cannibalism.

[wilwheaton]

favorite goncharov character

Goncharov! Holy shit I haven't thought about Goncharov in YEARS!

I remember seeing it at the Vista theatre downtown in ... I want to say 1983? It was either 82 and I was 10, or 83 and I was 11. Now that I think about it, it must have been Spring of 83. I remember that Kimmy Mendini was my babysitter, and she drove my friend Ahmed and me all the way downtown to see Goncharov. She would have been at least 16, but I feel like she was a little older. I remember that she LOVED movies and just never stopped talking about European cinema.

Ha! I can still her her sort of roll "Cinema" out of her mouth. Movies were for the masses to watch, while sophisticated adults experienced Cinema. I'm just realizing now that she absolutely pronounced it with a capital C. She was like "you are so lucky to see a clean print of Goncharov!"

I had no idea what a clean print was, but I understood it was important and impressive.

She had read about this screening in the LA Weekly, which I didn't know at the time was TREMENDOUSLY subversive in our suburban part of Los Angeles County, and we were going to an old theatre in maybe not the greatest part of town, but Kimmy had been watching me since I was in second grade and was like my big sister. I knew we'd be safe with her.

That old theatre (which is now a fucking swap meet) was just so beautiful inside. 100 foot ceilings, box seats, gold paint and murals. It felt like a place you went to experience Cinema, but, like ... it had absolutely seen better days. I remember that I felt kind of bad for the place, a little embarrassed, like when I got a good grade and accidentally made eye contact with a friend who got a D.

Okay. This clearly hit a memory artery, and I appreciate you staying with me this far, when we finally get to the fireworks factory. We're walking up to the box office, and she tells Ahmed and me that we have to wait on the sidewalk, because *technically* it's rated R, and she's not our legal guardian, but what does this guy making two bucks an hour know about art anyway?

So we wait. She buys the tickets, and then we all walk in as casually as we can.

I remember how scared I was that we were going to get caught and they'd call the cops (that's how it worked in my anxiety-ridden brain), but literally nobody cared. The theatre wasn't even half full, and everyone there was a dude at least as old as my parents.

You know the story, so I don't have to recount all of it, but I can at this very moment remember how shocked I was when Bruno was shot. This was the first time, ever, I had felt an emotional connection to a character. I didn't cry when Bambi's mother was shot, I didn't cry when ET died, I didn't cry E V E R.

But when Bruno died? I didn't make a sound. I just silently wept. Tears just poured down my face and I wanted to roll back time, rewrite the movie, and get him out of that room.

I obviously understand now, all these years later why I connected to him and why his story meant and means so much to me, but at the time I had no idea. I just thought the actors were that good.

I can't believe that guy who played him died so young. I think he was like 40? I remember thinking that was old. Now I know different.

When the movie was over, Kimmy asked us how we liked it. Ahmed was obsessed with the photography (he grew up to be an illustrator), and I obviously had my Bruno Moment.

We got Thrifty ice cream on the way home and listened to Donna Summer in her Datsun.

I haven't thought about Goncharov or Cinema or Kimmy in FOREVER. Leave it to Tumblr to boost my nostalgia check to a natural 20.

tl;dr: Bruno. I know he's supposed to be that character we all hate, and there are so many valid reasons for that. But when I was 12 ... well, I was a different person.

Oh! And now that I know what a "clean print" is, having seen so many "dirty prints" in revival houses before they all turned into swap meets or churches (hey, two places where people sell you stuff and take your money!), I retroactively appreciate it in a way that would make Kimmy happy.

Thanks for the trip into the crumbling mall that is my childhood memories. I haven't been here in awhile and it was nice to visit.

[americasass91]

Use Me

Hello there! I know I’ve been M.I.A. for awhile. And literally haven’t written anything in like 8 months. I’ve been going through a shit ton. (Divorce, job change, all kinds of fun stuff) And I really lost my spark to write. And then the Fnaf movie came out. And seeing Josh Hutcherson on screen again lit a fire inside of me! That boy was my original crush (long before Evans). Peeta Mellark will forever have a piece of my heart. That being said, here’s a little something starring Mike Schmidt! I know, I know. It’s not a Chris Evans character? What’s wrong with me? Josh is fucking pretty. That’s what’s wrong with me. Like, I have a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Chris is pretty and hope the best for him. But…he’s not been my muse lately. I said a long time ago that I wanted Josh to fuck me like a screen door in a hurricane. And it apparently still holds true today! So, I hope you enjoy it even though this is not a part of your regularly scheduled programming! Also, this takes place after the events of FNAF. Also, Also. Not sure if the people on my Taglist for Chris’ characters want to be tagged in Josh’s. If so, just let me know!

*DISCLAIMER*, If you’re under 18, this is nothing for you to be reading. Go away.

Words: 3.3k

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, p in v smut, oral(f rec), unprotected sex, language, Mike being good, um I think that’s it

💙💙💙💙💙 

“Listen Y/N, I’m gonna need you to stay and work the next shift.”

You turn around and look at your manager as if she had suddenly grown 3 heads. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said you needed me to stay and work the next 8 hour shift.”

She rolls her eyes as she goes back to charting the current patient she’s working on. “You know that’s exactly what I said. Look, I have no other options. Hannah called off.”

“Again? This is like the third day in a row! How is that fair exactly?” You put your patient’s paperwork down and cross your arms over your chest as you stare at her expectantly.

She doesn’t even bother looking at you as she answers. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N. She says she’s sick. I can’t have her come in if she’s sick.”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “If by sick you mean hungover! She literally posted on Instagram last night about her night out on the town!”

She glances over at you. “There’s no way to prove if that was from last night or if it's older. Now just get back to work and I’ll let you have an hour and a half break instead of an hour.”

Now you’re pissed. “Yeah, see, that's not going to work for me. I’ve already been here for 16 hours because Kim was late. I’m not working Hannah’s whole ass shift. I have plans. I finally get to see my boyfriend after weeks because our schedules weren’t lining up. I’m not staying.”

“You really don’t have a choice. I wasn’t really asking you, I was telling you. There’s no one else to cover.”

Tears started welling up in your eyes out of frustration, exhaustion, and the possibility of not being able to see Mike again. “There’s a bunch of other people that can cover! What about you? You’ve only been here 8 hours. It would make more sense for you to stay.” 

She turns in her chair to look at you now. “Y/N, I have actual plans. My husband has a work party. And the rest of us have husbands and children to attend to. Not just ‘hanging out with my boyfriend.’

Now you’re seeing red. “So what you’re saying is because I’m the only nurse on this floor not married, I get the shitty end of the deal and have to cover when other people call off?”

“No. If you had legit plans then I’d be more sympathetic. But you haven’t even been with this boy that long. You don’t need to spend every free moment with him.”

“I’m sorry but who do you think you are? My mother? Because I’m a grown ass woman. And if I want to hang with my boyfriend on my time off then I’m going to! I don’t really need your approval for it. I’m not staying.”

You grab your Stanley and start heading towards the locker room to grab your stuff. 

“Y/N! If you don’t stay, then you can forget about this job.”

You turn around just before reaching the end of the hallway. “Well, then I guess you’re going to have to stick around and cover Hannah’s shift. Stick it up your ass, Jan. I quit.”

You don’t even stay to hear what she has to say. You quickly run to your locker and grab all of your stuff out before you start to cry. You can’t believe you just quit. And it’s not just because of your boyfriend. You haven’t been treated right since the first week you started. This was just the last straw. You just hope Mike won’t be disappointed in you.

💙💙💙💙💙

After a quick shower and outfit change at home, you reluctantly find yourself pulling into Mike’s driveway and getting out of the car. You haven’t gotten to see him in about 3 weeks and you know you look like shit from not only your long ass shift but also because you cried on the way over.

You head to the front door and open it up. He always leaves the door unlocked when he knows you’re coming over, and get hit with the aroma of pasta. Mike’s cooking you dinner. That makes you want to start crying all over again. He’s the sweetest.

“Babe? Is that you?” You hear him call from the back of the house. He quickly comes towards the front and sees you. His smile falters when he sees the state you’re in. “Babe, are you okay? What happened?” He quickly wraps you up in a hug. 

You try your best to keep it together but a few tears fall. “I quit today.”

He pulls out of the hug but keeps his arms around you. “You did? Babe, that’s fantastic!” He pulls you back in for another hug and picks you up to twirl you around.

Your mood instantly lifts and you can’t help but laugh. “It is?”

He sets you down and pulls you in for a quick kiss. “Of course it is! That place was treating you like shit! And Jan was a bitch! What finally made you do it?”

He lets go of all but your hand and leads you into the kitchen so he can continue making spaghetti. He sets you down at the table and pours you a nice big glass of wine he bought just for tonight. “I want to hear all about it.”

He goes back to the stove and continues making dinner while you rehash the last 16 hours.

He turns around with the sauce spoon in his hand and his other on his hip. “Hannah called off again? Jesus, how does she still have a job? Didn’t she do this to you last year during Christmas?”

Oh, shit. You had forgotten about that. She did do this last year! You had plans to fly home and see your family for the holidays when Hannah unexpectedly came down with ‘the flu’. Jan had called and needed you to work since nobody else could cover. You felt like since you were still new at the time that you couldn’t say no. Now you’re getting pissy all over again. 

“Oh my god! You’re right! Maybe the bitch has some vendetta out against me. I’ve never done anything to her though! I’ve been nothing but nice!”

Just then your phone dings, alerting you of a text. You quickly check it. It’s from Hannah.

I can’t believe you threw a tantrum and quit just because I wasn’t feeling my best and couldn’t come in. Wow. All so you can hang out with your piece of shit delinquent boyfriend. You sure have your priorities straight.

“Fucking cunt!” You yell as you throw your phone across the table. Then immediately you slap your hands over your mouth just as Mike turns around to see what you’re yelling about.

“What’s wrong? Who was it?”

You remove your hands from your mouth. “Mike, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to curse that loud. I hope Abby didn’t hear me.”

He waves you off. “Babe, she’s not even here. She got invited to a sleepover at Natalie’s house. We’re alone. You’re good.”

You sigh in relief. “Thank god! I don’t want any of my bad habits to rub off on her.”

Mike just chuckles and turns back to the sauce. “If she turns out anything like you, I’d be entirely okay with that.”

You can’t help but feel a blush creep up your neck. He was always saying sweet stuff like that. You get up and hug him from behind and press a kiss to the back of his neck. “You’re too sweet.”

He turns around in your arms and grabs your face and gives you a proper, toe-curling kiss. “I mean it.”

After a few more shared kisses, Mike finishes up dinner and fixes you both a plate and a glass of wine for himself. As you’re sitting there twirling your spaghetti around your fork, you can’t help but think about Hannah’s text again. And then all of the little snide remarks she’s ever made to you come flooding back.

“Babe?”

You snap out of your thoughts and Mike comes back into focus. “Yeah?”

He puts his fork down. “I asked if there was something wrong with the spaghetti? You’ve hardly touched it.”

You look down at your plate and realize you’ve just been twirling it around your fork. “No, it’s fine. Just thinking about what Hannah said and how much it pisses me off. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to ruin our time together.”

He smiles and grabs both of your plates and gets up and places them on the counter. He comes back over and holds his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You grab his hand with no hesitation and let him pull you out of your chair and let him lead you to his bedroom.

He turns around to face you right before you get to his bed. “First of all, you could never ruin our time together. I love getting to spend time with you no matter what. Second of all, it sounds like you need to let out some anger and need a distraction.”

You can’t help but feel all tingly at the smirk he’s giving you. “What did you have in mind?”

He backs up a little and sits on the bed and looks up at you. “Use me, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “What? What do you mean?”

He reaches out to grab your hands to pull you towards him. “I mean use me. Use me to distract yourself and to take your anger out on. I’ll be a good boy and do whatever you need.”

That almost had your knees buckling. “Oh.” He lifts your shirt up and starts pressing kisses along your stomach while running his hands from your back to your hips and down to your ass. You’ve never been in this position before. Sure, you guys have only been together for like 5 months but anytime you’ve ever been intimate, he’s been the one who’s taken charge.

He pulls back and looks up at you. “Use me, baby. I got you. Tell me what you need.”

You decide to run with it and take control and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I wanna sit on your face.”

He lets out a little whimper as he moves back on the bed. “Fuck, baby. Please sit on my face. I want you to suffocate me.”

He lays back and patiently waits for you to remove your pants and panties. You hesitantly climb up on the bed. You’ve never done this before with anyone but have always wanted to try it. You climb up until you’re straddling his waist and lean down to kiss him. 

He returns the kiss enthusiastically and grinds you down onto him so you can feel how hard he already is for you. It makes you let out a small moan into his mouth. The making out only lasts for a few more minutes before you pull away and start climbing up until you’re hovering right above his mouth.

Before you fully lower yourself onto him you grab his hair and yank so that he has to look at you. He lets out another beautiful whimper. “I’m going to ride your face until I can’t think of anything else but your tongue. You’re going to be good and make me cum as many times as I want, right?”

He nods instantly. “Yes, I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“Good boy.” You tell him, which makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. Hmm. Who knew he had a praise kink?

You let go of his hair and grab onto the headboard with both hands before you slowly lower yourself onto his waiting mouth. 

He immediately grips your thighs and pulls you even harder on him and starts eating you out like a man starved. “Oh, fuck!” You throw your head back and start grinding on his tongue. He gives you a few more licks before he sucks your clit into his mouth and starts lapping his tongue back and forth against it. “Oh, god. Fuck, Mike! You’re so fucking good at that.”

Your praise has him moaning and whimpering into your pussy, heightening the experience that much more. He moves his right hand towards your ass and gives it a nice squeeze before moving towards your pussy and immediately inserting two fingers.  It makes you start grinding faster, feeling yourself already close to the edge.

He starts pumping his fingers in time with your grinding, pushing you even closer to the edge. You can’t believe how quickly he got you there. 

“Mike, please! Gonna cum! Make me cum.”

He pumps his fingers even faster and lightly bites down on your clit, knowing it’ll make you fall over the edge.

You scream his name out and grind on him until it’s too much and you lift yourself away from his mouth. To which he whimpers out, “where’s that pussy going? I wasn’t done yet.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “Jesus. I almost passed out from how hard I came. Give me a minute.”

“So I did good?” He looks up at you with big eyes and his chin glistening with your juices.

You pat his hair. “You did so good, baby. Made me feel so good.”

He smiles and wraps his arms around your thighs and presses soft kisses to the inside of them. You close your eyes and take a minute to enjoy that before you look behind you and see his erection pressing painfully against his jeans. You need that inside of you. Right now.

You remove yourself from his face and he lets out a little whine. “Don’t worry. I’m not done. Need your cock, baby.”

You’ve never seen him undo his belt and slide his jeans down that quickly before. It almost makes you chuckle. “Eager, are we?”

He nods as he pushes his jeans down far enough that his cock springs free and hits your ass. “Need to feel you around me, babe. Please.”

You lean down and pull him into a kiss which he returns generously. You can taste yourself on his tongue. He grabs his cock and hits it against your ass, signaling that he’s ready for you to slide onto him. You take the hint and lift up and back until he catches at your entrance. He’s the first one to break the kiss as you slowly slide down onto him. The little whimpers he lets out as you sit flush against his thighs is music to your ears.

You decide to tease him and just stay resting there for a minute while looking down at him. He has his eyes clenched shut and a death grip on your hips. He opens his eyes after a few moments and looks up at you. He reaches his right hand up and places it on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Go ahead and use me babe. Take what you need from me.”

You slowly start moving your hips back and forth, never really lifting them up and down. The friction against your clit is so delicious. You place both hands on his chest and start moving your hips a little faster. “Oh, fuck baby. You feel so good. You’re so deep.” 

“Yeah? Am I making my girl feel good?”

You smirk down at him. “Oh, yeah. You’re being so good for me.”

He lets out another whimper as he grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a heated kiss. This one sloppy and desperate. His hand that’s still on your hip starts moving you a little harder against him. He pulls away from your mouth and kisses his way up your neck towards your ear. “Come on babe. Cum on my cock. I can feel you clenching around me. Cum for me so I can be good and cum for you.”

This time you’re the one letting out a whimper. “Yeah? Want me to be your good boy and cum for you? Fill you up?”

“Please.” You whine out, moving your hips even faster than before. You can feel your orgasm coming like a freight train. There’s no stopping it. 

“Oh yeah. I can feel it. You’re gonna cum for me. Do it. Make a mess on me babe. Please, I need it.”

“Yeah? You need me to cum for you? Need to feel me cum? Oh, god Mike. I’m almost there. Please don’t stop.”

He continues helping you grind your hips against his. You’re almost there. Just a little something…..

“I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”

That did it. You’re pitched off the edge and silently scream out. The edges of your vision going white. You can vaguely hear Mike whimpering out your name as he does as promised and fills you up. You slow your hips down until you can’t move them anymore and slump down against him with your face tucking into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs his hands up and down your back.

You both stay like that until your heartbeats return to normal. You lift up your head just until you can see him, almost nose to nose. He’s the first to speak. “So, did I do good for you?”

You let out a chuckle. “You were so good, baby.” You can feel him twitch inside of you at the praise. “But, we need to talk about what you said.”

Mike scrunches his brows for a few minutes before his eyes go wide and he realizes what he said. “Shit, I did not mean to say that.”

You can’t help the disappointment that crosses your face. “Oh, well that’s okay. It was in the heat of the moment.”

He quickly wraps his arms tighter around you. “No! That’s not what I meant. Shit. I one hundred percent meant it. I just wanted to make it special when I told you. Not in the middle of an orgasm. You deserve better than that.”

You smile and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I appreciate the thought. But I really don’t need anything special. I already have you.”

His smile lights up his entire face. “I love you, Y/N.”

This time you press a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too Mike. Like, a lot.”

“I bet not as much as I love you.”

Just as you’re about to retort, Mike’s cell starts vibrating, causing you to jolt with fright since his phone is still in his pocket which your leg is pressed up against.

“Jesus Christ.”

You quickly get up so that he can grab his phone. “Hello?”

You go into the bathroom to clean up. You come back in with a wet cloth to clean Mike up. He just hangs up as you come in the room. “Everything okay?”

He smiles in thanks as you hand him the cloth. He goes about cleaning himself up. “Yeah. That was Natalie’s mom. Apparently Abby has decided she doesn’t wanna stay the night so I have to go get her.” He stands and pulls his jeans back up and smooths his shirt out. “Sorry we won’t be alone anymore.”

You pull him in for a quick kiss. “Nothing to apologize for. I love you Mike. And that means loving all of you. Which includes Abby. Whom you know I just adore. Go get her and we’ll have a movie night or something.”

He shakes his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You just smile in return. “After the past year you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.”

He chuckles as he heads out the door. “Ain’t that the damn truth!”

[evil-maryland]

Reminiscing the times when i had 16 hour screen times scrolling on tiktok all day.

i felt good in those times. looking back i recognise that i was sick.

i am actively healing my dopamine reactions and attention span, even tough i had these screen times nearly a year ago.

There is no more social-media on my phone. literally none.

I have the will to study again, not just because school forces me to, but because i want to.

I have hobbies now. the will to live. i even began to slightly heal from stuff i experienced.

Put the phone away. its for your own good.

Don't drown in misery. I believe in you.

[doahaesunshine]

Chapter 16

Chapter WC: 2665

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August 1st

Seungcheol had compiled a list of questions that he wanted to ask Minghao. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough. Six questions in the span of sixteen days, it didn’t seem like much but Seungcheol was content. He may end up asking more in the moment, Minghao did say he would have more time. Apparently a full moon gave him the ability to speak longer, Seungcheol didn’t understand.

What he did understand was that there were very real forces at play like his friend’s father had mentioned. Seungcheol did not want to admit it, he honestly wanted to laugh at himself for believing anything that he had seen or heard in the past sixteen days.

Working at his own father’s hardware shop had turned into him idling behind the counter and occasionally going on his laptop in search for any record of a Minghao on the internet. There were various social media profiles, none of the people on the screen looked like him though. All the profiles were too normal to be him. 

He was told Minghao wasn’t a ghost, which meant he had to be a real person, he had to exist somewhere. Everywhere he searched resulted in a dead end, Facebook, Insta profiles, public databases, nothing, it didn’t help that he didn’t have a surname to aid in his search. The rest of his shift was spent figuratively – and literally – smashing his head against the counter until his father told him to go home.

After work he drove to the plaza near the bridge. He wanted to buy some coffee before talking to Minghao again. Since he was going to be here for a while, he ordered the coffee and took it outside with him. He decided to sit and relax at the plaza fountain for a while, as he still had an hour to wait. Pulling his notebook out from his bag, he turned to the page that had all of his questions written down. With a stern look he reviewed the pages, thinking of every possible answer to each one as he read down the list.

“These sound ridiculous…” Seungcheol muttered to himself.

“I think they’re fine.”

Seungcheol snapped his head to the source of the voice. Right next to him was Minghao, but he looked solid, not see through at all, and he was wearing street clothes. He looked casual with a pair black skinny jeans and a loose band t-shirt that he french tucked into his belt. Even the shoes he wore were pedestrian, a pair of red converse. He looked completely different from the ethereal, white-cloaked persona Seungcheol first saw.

Seungcheol’s eyes went wide. “You’re actually here?” He lit up the screen of his phone: 11:15 . “There’s still forty five minutes til’ midnight.”

Minghao tilted his head upward to gaze at the moon. Seungcheol looked up as well, the moon was full and nearly at its maximum height. 

“It’s close enough… Besides, I’m not actually here.” Minghao was speaking out loud now, lips moving and all. 

“What do you mean?”

“Give me your hand.”

Seungcheol held out his hand, palm facing upward. Minghao gingerly placed his right hand on top of Seungcheol’s. The round-eyed man watched as Minghao’s tattooed hand was on top of his, but the embellished sun tattoo disappeared as his hand went through him. 

“The moon’s energy just makes it easier to blend in.” Minghao relaxed and sighed as he enjoyed the night air.

“And your clothes?”

Minghao giggled. “What about them?”

“They’re… normal.”

Another small giggle sang out from Minghao. “I’ve appeared here many times for a long time. A change in wardrobe is needed if I don’t want another internet article about me.”

Seungcheol smirked as he addressed his company. “It’s a little late for that… I was on that bridge because I read a forum post.”

The two shared a laugh as they took a moment to enjoy themselves rather than go straight to business. When the laughter died down, Seungcheol took another look at his notepad. Minghao noticed this and studied the other man with an inquisitive eye.

“Which one do you want to start with?” 

Seungcheol pointed to the first one.

“Where are you from?” Minghao read the question out loud and smiled. “I’m from the Seventeenth Realm within the Great Wheel.”

Seungcheol blinked in confusion. “I’m sorry?” 

“Next question?”

“Uh-” Seungcheol stuttered as he looked back at the list. “Do you know Y/N?”

“Yes.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened as hope filled them. “What- Are they alive? Are they safe?”

Minghao smiled softly. “Yes to both. The last time I saw them, they had recovered very well.”

“This is going to be weird.” Pausing, Seungcheol took a deep breath. “Do you know Seokmin Lee?”

“Yes. And before you ask, he is also doing great. He misses you…” 

There was a long moment of silence, Seungcheol struggled to control his breathing. This was everything that he ever dreamed of. Both of his friends, alive and well but not with him.

“Will they be able to return?” He asked expectantly.

Minghao sighed, thinking of the least painful answer. “If they decide to.”

“Can I go to them?”

Another pause. Minghao made eye contact with Seungcheol as he tried to place a comforting hand on him. “Maybe- Hm…” 

Seungcheol watched the Diviner with big eyes, hoping to hear the answer he wanted.

“You’re not going to like this…” Minghao sighed. “Every two years, there is an event that my people call The Joining . You would have to wait until next Christmas Eve before you could travel to my realm and even then, it’s not a guarantee.”

“No, that makes sense…” During Seungcheol’s research he connected some of the dots.

The pattern was there, he remembered the names Joshua and Vernon, two people from Earth that went missing on the same day two years apart. There were more too, the missing persons reports dated back to 1990 and that’s not including the cases before they were made public.

“What do I have to do?” Seungcheol asked, determined.

Minghao smiled and chuckled softly. “Don’t you have more questions for me?” 

Seungcheol returned the laugh. “I do-” He was confused about the situation, but sure of himself. “But I’ll do anything to see my friends again.”

Something light filled Minghao’s eyes, the deep blue sparkling as he admired the human’s enthusiasm. “You do sound just like them, Cheolie.”

Seungcheol smiled to himself, it had been so long since someone used his nickname and the endearment filled him with joy. Happiness had become a stranger over the last six months and Minghao had given him so much hope that he was almost scared of how he would feel if this plan failed.

“Don’t worry, Cheolie, I won’t lead you astray. Just meet me here on Christmas Eve 2025 and I’ll be here.”

Smiling bright, Seungcheol laughed in relief. “I don’t know how to thank you. You’ve done so much just by talking with me. Thank you, Minghao.”

“You’re welcome. If I couldn’t do this, what kind of Diviner would I be-”

Minghao stood from the fountain, his expression frazzled. Seungcheol matched his movement, he reached out to grab Minghao’s wrist for support but his hand went through.

“Is everything alright?” Seungcheol asked, clearly worried.

“I-” Minghao stuttered while looking around aimlessly. “I have to go- If you need anything, come to the bridge!”

Before Seungcheol could respond, Minghao's form disappeared. He was left alone at the plaza, confused once again. At least he could say that he had answers now and something to look forward to, even if it was nearly two years away.

Minghao gasped as he rose from his divining table, startling his snowy owl familiar. The smell of Frankincense filling his nostrils from this incense. He groaned as a ringing headache shot through him, struggling to focus as he searched for his salts.

Recklessly he opened the door to his component cabinet and dug around for anything to help with the premonition that was trying to reach him. He found purchase on a small vial of crystal blue salts, he popped the cork and inhaled the fumes.

With a strangled shout of pain he slouched over, grabbing his face. A surge of electric pain shot through him, sending him recoiling backward. His neck snapped back as his eyes transformed into a pure white.

Water filled his lungs. Brackish and burning. 

He struggled to breath as he was held beneath the dark water. 

There was a face staring down at him, smiling, sadistic. It frightened him…

He searched for a name, a face, anything.

Suddenly the water entering his lungs ceased and instead the aroma of fresh sage filled his nose. 

“Sage!” Minghao yelled as he was torn from his vision.

Swiftly he scrambled back to the cabinet, grabbing ingredients left and right. He retrieved a vial of yarrow, star-anise, and a polished disc of obsidian. Using his chalks, he hastily drew a ritual circle on the ground and placed the components in their respective positions.

“Praevideo. Monitus.”

As he spoke the incantation, the flowers started to wilt and the obsidian mirror began to swirl. The entirety of Minghao’s eyes turned inky black as the spell took hold.

“I have foreseen. Sage is the subject and they are in danger. The vision showed them drowning. Please, I implore you, find Sage. Ensure their safety.”

Minghao reached out to every Arcanist in the area, alarming them to the danger to come. He could feel that he had reached Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Dokyeom, as well as Sage’s roommates. Minghao exited his room, rushing down the tower to help in the search. It had been so long since his visions had hit him with such force, he had to prevent this.

As he ran down the road that led to the lake, he ran into Mingyu and Dokyeom. The two Vitaes looked concerned and wrecked with anxiety. Minghao gave a nod and the three of them sprinted to the lake together.

“Which lake are we going to?” Dokyeom asked with a slight shake to his voice.

“The Songweaver.” Minghao answered, calm and even. “It’s the only salt water lake.”

The lake was not particularly far but there was so much area to search. It was the largest body of water on land and the evergreen forest that surrounded it was thick. The three Arcanists searched while Ophelia, Minghao’s owl, searched from above to get a better view and Muse, a yellow songbird, wove through the trees. Mingyu and Yucca stuck close together, searching the shore.

“Hey!” A loud voice called out, Soonyoung.

The ash haired man jumped and waved his arms to signal that he had found something. Minghao, Mingyu, and Dokyeom, along with their familiars, rushed over. Wonwoo and Jihoon were crouched over something and as the three got closer, gray fur and a long tail came into vision.

It was Eris, lying on the sandy shore, unconscious. She was breathing, but it was labored. Wonwoo gently examined her with an analytical eye.

“A Sopor spell. A strong one too. I can’t break it now. I need Black Tourmaline to dispel the charm.” Wonwoo explained. “Joshua would be able to dispel it… Where is he?”

Dokyeom knelt down beside Eris and placed his hand over her heart. He focused on her breathing and the strength of her pulse.

“She’s getting weaker. That means Sage is fading.” He said, trying to remain level headed.

“Fuck it-” Mingyu exclaimed as he threw off his shoes and ran into the lake.

Minghao walked up to the lake and submerged his hand into the cool water. “Requaero Sage.” His eyes flashed white and a beam of light shot from the tips of his fingers.

Mingyu understood the spell and followed the glowing trail. He dove under the surface, the water was clear enough to see through and the spell acted as a torch in the darkness. Following the light, he saw something floating deep within the water. Strength surged through him as he swam toward the object, upon closer inspection it was his friend, Sage. 

They were still as a few bubbles of air escaped their lungs. Mingyu hurried and grabbed Sage around the waist, using the rest of his strength to reach the surface. 

Jihoon was pacing along the shore, Vernon was sitting in the sand with Shadow trying his best to soothe his Arcanist. Soonyoung watched the water, hopeful as Minghao concentrated on his spell, and Dokyeom monitored Eris’s condition. Wonwoo searched the water looking for any sign of Mingyu’s return. 

A ripple rose from below the surface as Mingyu breached and inhaled a deep breath. Wonwoo sighed in relief and with an outstretched arm he made a pulling motion. Mingyu held onto Sage as he was pulled forward by Wonwoo’s telekinesis. 

The two reached the shore and Mingyu immediately placed Sage down to focus on their core. With a steady hand, Mingyu held his palm over Sage’s sternum, concentrating on the water in their lungs. Using his Hydromancy, he controlled the water out of them, the water was no longer inside, but they remained unresponsive.

“Jihoon, heat- I need heat.” Mingyu called out.

The Evoker immediately joined Mingyu on the ground. The taller man guided Jihoon’s scarred hands to Sage’s torso.

“Keep them warm. I’ll try to heal them-” 

“-No.” Wonwoo interrupted. “You’re still mending from last time. Dokyeom, revive them.”

Mingyu retreated with his head hung low and Dokyeom took his place. The orange haired man glared at the Archivist as he placed one hand on Sage’s crown and the other over their heart. A golden glow emanated from his palms and using his energy, he focused on Sage’s Psyche. It was weak, trying to repair itself, but failing. Dokyeom took a deep breath and used his magic to heal the younger mage.

Sage startled awake, coughing loudly. “Get away from me!” They screamed, voice hoarse as they tried to shuffle away.

“Sage- Calm down.” Dokyeom said as he reached out to comfort them.

They slapped his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me!” 

“Sage-” Mingyu tried to calm them.

“No- Stay away!” With a weak burst of energy, Sage scrambled to their feet and started to run back toward the lake.

Wonwoo sprinted forward and grabbed Sage by their arm. Sage whipped their head back in response, trying and failing to pull their arm free. 

The Archivist held his hand to their forehead. “Quies .” As the spell was casted, Sage’s eyes rolled back as they fell unconscious.

“Wonwoo-”

“Do not worry.” He said as he caught Sage’s limp form. “It is not the same as the charm on their familiar. They will return to consciousness in the morning.” Wonwoo lifted Sage’s legs, carrying them in his arms. “Everyone here did splendid work, please, go home and rest.”

“Where are you taking them?” Dokyeom asked weakly.

“To my office.” Wonwoo addressed the fatigued Vitae. “Sage can recover in the safety of Diamond Hall Proper. I will contact Dino in the morning.”

Dokyeom stood slowly, Mingyu helping him to his feet. “Why not let them recover in the water of the Vitae Springs?” 

“I understand your concern, Dokyeom, but you know the magic of those waters will have no effect on them.” Wonwoo sighed. “I know you wish to take care of them, but keeping your distance is the only thing I ask of you. Prolonged exposure could harm them.”

“Prolonged exposure?” Dokyeom spat. “What am I? Some kind of disease?”

“Considering what happens to their Psyche when they think for too long while staring at your face? Yes, I’d say that is an accurate assumption.” Wonwoo did not stick around to listen to anyone else.

“You son of a bitch!” Dokyeom yelled behind him.

His voice carried as Wonwoo walked away, but the Archivist continued to disregard the group. He wasn’t going to stop until Sage was safe and far away from the lake.

To join a tag list, please comment on the Fallin' Flower Master List!

@reiofsuns2001 @shinwonderful @starstrawb

[wifey-ohara]

Blood Like Fire. Burns The Same Way

Miguel O'hara&teen!Spidey!Reader (gn)

A/n (oh dear god there's many)

Angst/no happy ending, hurt/abso-fucking-lutly no comfort, theres a major absence of them in this fandom

Literally miguel's life falling on the seems and reader steps on it

Grief, lots of that, hospitals/car accident mentioned, dead character(s)mentioned, abandoned family, replaced family, basically cheating, rubbing slat on wounds, pure evil, well deserved tho, major daddy issues,panic attack,quick mentions of reader physically suffering(i made my spider bite to be very very painful) crying,planty of that,crusing(warn me if i should add more)

Reader acts alot like miguel and picked alot from him even without meeting him, manners, intelligence ect.. they also wear reading glasses,but they don't necessary need them seeing as they're a spider

The reader is evil,cold, unfeeling to miguel,they only make it worst , getting their revenge and getting it fast

Shoud be gender natural if i didn't slip (do tell me if i did so i can fix it)

i did proof read this but i haven't slept in more them 24 hours so correct me where i go worng

You're half way through your new book when lyla appeared above the book, catching your attention

"lyla?" you asked the AI, she looked frantic, worried, which made you, in return, worried

She never gets like this, unless it was something serious, mostly about the multi-verse

"y/n! The canon happened! Miguel he's-"

Oh

The "canon" happened

You stooped listening to her and worring about it, expression going blank, eyes falling to book to resume your reading, it was more interesting then his "canon"

Lyla fell silent above up, her figure flinshing back slightly "y-y/n?" she hesitated, something you know she did on purpose

Your eyes snapped up to her, your reading glasses' frame divided your eye sight in half, lifting an eyebrow, you waited for her to continue

"miguel is coming back... " she said, hopeful, yet knowing the reality of the situation

Miguel o'hara , your biological father, left you and your mother on your fifth birthday to go live with another family, raising another daughter claiming that it's the best for the universe.

You lived with your mother for the rest of her days, 11 years to be more exact

She would always praise your father to you, saying how much of a great man he is, and how he's out there leaving his two most beloveds to save this universe

You smiled at her and pretended to believe her, because you know that deep down, she didn't mean a word of it

And you didn't need to reach deep down to know, in fact, all you needed were mere touches on your cyan screen, activate a camera, to see him smiling at a mother that wasn't yours, a family that wasn't his and most of all, a daughter that wasn't you

He left when you were 5,your mother left when you were 16

you were bitten at that age too, sitting on your mother's grave, angry at your mother for leaving, angry at your dad because he doesn't know that she left and most of all angry at yourself for thinking about him in such a moment, that's when it happened, a little pinch at first, you thought nothing of it, but by the time you reached your room, you were crying, kicking and screaming, hell running through your flesh, lyla hovering around trying to offer words of comfort but to no avail

And that's what you call, your "canon" For becoming a spider, suffering alone..(it was actually losing your mother, but hey! Maybe with both being absent you'll have more powers?!)

You weren't put into an orphanage because you were almost 18 with stable income and good grades, one thing you could thank your father over is his pay check and his intelligence,, which you question from time to time if it was your mother's, and she decided to keep it hidden

After alot and of studying the multi-verse (mostly out of spite to prove that miguel didn't actually need to leave, to which he didn't, it was a canon for that girl to lose her father, by him being in the picture the universe he's in will get destroyed when her canon becomes his and he loses her!)

but then again, that lab that only opens to him was proof, of your intelligence, since it's your lab/work place now,, only opens at your command, full of your tools and projects, would he ask for it back? Not that you would give it to him,, it doesn't belong to him anymore, hell, nothing in this house does

By the time you re-surfaced from your dark thoughts you were already washing dinner's dishes, damn, you didn't even enjoy it, you rolled your eyes, as lyla flew around mumbling stuff under her breath, she sounds like fly, you held in your smile

You dried the last plate when you senced it, your face dropped and lyla paused.

He was here

You acted like nothing is happening, wiping the counters, your back facing the entery of which he'd reach a few seconds after unlocking the door

Lyla disappeared, probably not wanting to deal with the tension coming in the shape of traitor with bloody,torn clothes, messy head of hair, red,puffy eyes, and barely standing on his two damn feet

You heard him pause right before reaching the opening that signals the end of foyer and the beginning of the huge living room, dinning room and kitchen tied to it, the only thing separateing them were bits of walls and counters

You can hear his confusion, and damn it was funny, confused why didn't his "true love waits forever" wife come hurring to his side already? the memory of her wishing every night in that hospital that his mission was over and he'll come to her the next morning as you try to fall asleep in her side in that uncomfortable hospital chair ignited your hate for him like gasoline to a fire

He's dragging his feet carefully now, wondering why hasn't his daughter come with her mother yet, standing behind her, leaning on the door pillar, looking up at him like he was a gift sent from the sky, a dream came true, a legend proven real, a hero coming from war

You almost laughed at the idea, if it wasn't for his breath hitching at the sight of you

You were wiping down the stove now, pretending to be blissfully unaware of him, despite all your spider sences screaming at you to turn around, either fight back or swing away, even they knew he was a stranger

The stove and counter were half way through their third wipe down when he finally spoke

".. Hey" a broken, shell of a word

You turned around to face him, acting like you knew he was there, or that he'd been there for ages already, and both were correct, but he wouldn't know that

"hey" you repeated, voice louder but not attacking, monotoned to match you deadpan stare at his redish eyes

He took a sharp breath, the lack of reaction having caught him off guard, ego reversing itself back into a tiny black dot

You looked him up and down, features like an ironed shut book to him, good.

"um.. Do you know who i am? " he asked, confused, does he think you were not his?

You almost huffed out a laugh before swallowing it down by "Miguel O'hara?" it was worded like a question, toned like a state of the obvious, he almost folded in on himself, seemingly smaller, somehow..

"yes but what else? "

You snapped

He dares ask what else, as if he ever played any else it your life

Traitor, lier, cheater-

"-my sperm donor" you said, an extended hand, to give him a slap on the face

His eyes widen with horor

"where- where is your mother! " he was the one to snap, sharp yet weak, and you could almost see him yelling, blaming your mother "i leave to save this whole universe and what do you do??? Tell them I'm their sperm donor?!? You felt nothing towards me or my honor to tell them anything else!... You never really loved me huh?"

So you kept staring

" where is your mother? " words more confident this time, more angry

You swallow the knot in your stomach that brings tears to your eyes

It was now or never, break him or make him, and you're not a maker

"she was my canon event" you said, and you hoped that the hallowness of your voice did a good job in hiding the sadness that came with it

It takes him a moment,, then two, until he looks genuinely terrified, red-eyes becoming glossy, quickened breath turns into pants and little dry sobs, legs finally buckling down, arm reach to the nearest surface to insure a safe(r) landing, other hand reaching for his throat, tearing what's left of that blue and red suit of his, it was almost comical how it happned

Little pants turned into heaving "h-how-why-y.. What-" the rest you couldn't make out even of you tried

"car accident, last year, stayed three weeks in the hospital after they told us that even if she survives she'll suffer, do they pulled out the plug, by her call " you let the high walls get even higher because no way you are crying in front of this unfeeling man, no matter how much emotions are currently being on full blast in front of you right now

More heaving in hopes of enough oxygen to enter his lungs and calm his storm of thoughts

"the last weekshe stayed alive waiting for you, she was almost certain that you'll come see a last time" you didn't usually like rubbing slat in open wounds, but his look like a delicious meal for you

And there it was- that heart-crushing sob,that sounds like chocking and feels like it too, that always come with more tears then you know what to do with, as he leaned on the wall hands on his face,plams pressing into his eye sockets,,tears somehow still a stream down his face,despite the un-humanly possible pressure he's using..

For the first time since he entered, you took a step, out of the kitchen, then another, until you were in front of him...

He stilled a bit by your closer presence, and you resisted urge to laugh at him, he really thinks you're gonna be here for him? after everything? What a fool

You inhaled, his scent ten times in your lungs, well more of a mixture of salt, ash, dust, blood, sweat and if you focus enough a, colone

"your room is the same as always, bedding is the closet,clothing is as well , there is some leftovers in the fridge, do. Not. try and open any other room, they're not yours anymore" and with that you sealed you lips again

If he stilled before, now he froze, all tense

You stood back up, turned around and started walking to your lab

"lyla" you requested, the lighting figure appear within rhe second, face scrunched up and worried "yes y/n?"

"do help him if he asks, I'm done here" you almost added if asks nicely lyla turned to see that horrific sight, with a gasp, she turned towards you, but was cut off by his , repeated, quick, wet, inhales that only come with a scream as hurtful as death itself, been there, done that,

Before he reaches a range to let out a scream, you closed the lab's door and the sound proof walls done their job, having some homework to do and projects to work on.

Blocking a horrible, terrible, scream and grief and regret, tainted not by one, but four sets of blood, one still so warm and running down his skin as you breath when you closed the distance between you two, to throw ice at his boiling oil...

This took me almost 4 hours,short for my liking tbh

I think imma add a few more parts to this, to fully fefill the title's meaning, not sure tho, what yall think?

[juiles]

Scarlett’s Love.

Summary: Y/N is a teen who’s known Scarlett her whole life. Scar asks a life changing question on set one day.

Type: fluff!!!

Triggers: none at all. Just pure fluff

Masterlist here!

Request here!

*not my gif*

————————————-

Scarlett Johansson was always considered calm. Level-headed. The only reason she ever lost her mind was when one of her two babies were being put in any kind of danger or when you were.

Y/N Y/L/N. That’s what your name was and that’s who Scarlett had this constant need to protect. You had met her when you were 2 as you played her on screen daughter in A Good Woman. She had instantly fallen in love with you however after you finished filming she was ripped out of your life by your parents. 3 years went by until she finally got to see you again as you played the younger sister of the family X in Nanny Diaries. Her face when she realized she got to work with you again made her then boyfriend, Ryan, full of joy.

This time she had noticed a difference in you but it was until 2009 when you came on as Natasha Romanoffs adopted daughter in Iron Man 2 at the age of 7 that she really noticed how your parents treated you. Or rather didn’t. You were fiercely independent and your parents just dropped you off and picked you up. After a few months she decided to take over being your onset guardian which made you insanely happy.

The only person you were your age around was her. You were a little less guarded around Chris Evans however you preferred Scarlett. She felt safe. She paid attention to you unlike your parents.

——————————

You guys were now filming Avengers: Infinity War. It was about a month into filming and it was close to your birthday. You were going to be 16.

You had been staying with Scarlett during the filming of this movie and for a few months before filming started. Your parents didn’t care where you were or what happened to you. You had talked in great details with Scarlett and Lizzie about potentially emancipating from your parents. You decided together that if that’s how you still felt in 2 weeks when you turned 16 you would do it. You knew you always had a place to stay with Scar as the woman had declared one of her guests rooms be yours when you were 10 and it slowly became your safe space.

It was mid-day, you were doing your schoolwork with your tutor and Scar was due to show up in a few minutes to give you the lunch you had forgotten to grab from the snack bar earlier. You could hear a soft knock on the door and your tutor chuckled.

“Mama-bear has come. I’ll give you a 30 minute break to eat. I’d give you longer but you still have 2 subjects to go over and only 1.5 hours till filming.” Sarah said with a smile before opening the door to a smiling Scar. “30 minutes Johansson.”

“Yes ma’am.” Scar said giving a small salute making the other woman chuckle. The blonde came over and plopped down in a chair next to you and placed a plate in front of you and one in front of her. “Eat.”

“Yes ma’am.” You mimicked her copying her little salute before you started to eat the sandwich. “I don’t know how you ALWAYS know what I want but it’s magic.” You mumbled through the food in your mouth.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” The blonde chuckled before looking over at you with a small smile. “You know… you are one of the best things to ever happen to me.” She said causing you to blush with a small scoff. “Y/N i’m not kidding. You and Rose are my entire world. Rose may be my first biological child but you were my kid long before she was even thought of.”

“Scar…”

“No… just listen. You have been in my life for so long that you have been with me through both divorces. Rose literally calls you her big sister. When you’re sick or over tired you call me mom. I see you as a daughter.”

“Scar… i just… where are you going with this…?” You asked quietly not wanting to get your hopes up for what you think she may be doing.

“Y/N/N. In two weeks when you get divorced from your parents. Will you want to be adopted by me…?” Scarlett asked with such hesitation you almost laughed. Her green eyes had a layer of tears over them threatening to fall out.

You could feel your body stop before sobs overtook you and you threw yourself into her arms nodding your head profusely. “Yes! yes yes yes!” You sobbed into her chest curled up into her lap.

Scarlett showered you in kisses as tears stream down her face. “Oh my sweet girl. My sweet sweet girl. I love you so much bubs.”

“I love you too Scarly…” You sniffled with a light chuckle.

The two of you both agreed that this was the best day ever except the day you officially became Scarlett’s.

[godsgamefreak]

After 1354 saves and just over 60 hours, I finally finished my Dragon Age II re-play, the first of its kind since the game came out 13 years ago. I toyed with it for a bit longer, I know I bought the Mark of the Assassin DLC and I think I even finished it, but I barely remembered it. But not a single proper playthrough in 13 years.

In that time DA2 of course got ripped apart by the media for the glaring issues of developing a massive RPG in 16-18 months, like the re-used assets (particularly in dungeons) but I had remembered enjoying it well enough as I played. Though, I also had issues with a lot of the Companions at the time too.

After being quite soured in my playthrough of Inquisition a few years later, I had fully dropped the series, with little to no interest in anything it was doing (granted it wasn't a lot, with Veilguard only just recently being properly announced) outside of the animated series on Netflix which was neat. But with Veilguard around the corner, and over 10 years of life under my belt, I thought... why not give it another try, see what's different?

Turns out both not much and also a fair bit. The not much was how much I enjoyed it - while certain mechanics don't work the way I'd like or aren't communicated as well (I'm very sad I couldn't truly be a proper tank, since enemy threat was constantly all over the place) I still had FUN with it. Since I remembered being meh on a lot of the Companions, I made sure to keep a particular eye on them this time around and I came to realize I understood them all a lot more this time around.

Merrill held a conviction, though a dangerous one, and while commendable to hold to it despite understanding the dangers... was completely blind to so much more. A great comparison to Anders, who was so much WORSE than I remembered, finally coming to a head if you question him during his Act 3 companion quest. I literally had to get up out of my chair in anger when he tries to threaten your friendship over his cause ("trust me even though I lied to you" like fuck off man).

Fenris was still overly grumpy about so much, but the reasoning is still solid, and it was nice to see him loosen up a little here and there. Agreeing to drop the mage freedom topic with Isabela and deflecting with a game of "guess my undergarments colour" was wonderful. Speaking of Isabela, I'm definitely older and care less about her darker side than I did as a "young and pure paladin" of 20 years old. I even romanced her, due in part to a similarity to one of my wife's OC's. Her romance story ends so sweet too, and her story is quite interesting. I wish the game had more time to expand on both Fenris and Isabela's stories and personal growth.

Varric and Aveline are still great, I love how they individually check in on Hawke through the game. They feel like the closest friends you have, in that they check on you just as much as you check on them, with no other major goals taking up their time and attention. Though the Aveline vs Isabela lines feel like they get a little too catty, there was one scene of them laughing over a drink once that made me happy to see they could get along.

My biggest regret is that Bethany is so absent from Act 2 and most of Act 3, not even making an on-screen appearance over your mother's death - the quest of which still hits pretty hard, though I didn't fully realize it until afterwards.

All in all, it was wonderful to re-play it, re-experience it, and play it in its complete form start-to-finish, and did exactly what I hoped: re-ignited my desire to care about this dark fantasy world, and make me excited to play Inquisition again. This time with less faffing about, more paying attention, and spending more time with Companions (and other major characters). I barely remember what happened in the game, so it's almost like finishing a re-play of DA2 before the big new game comes out. I hope I really find something I missed in my first DAI playthrough that makes me love it after hating it for 10 years.

[amorficzna]

I feel like I've learned so much about myself and about burnout this last little while.

I was last fired from a really toxic work environment last August, so it's been almost a year without work. Before that I was laid off as part of the continued games industry layoffs. I think at that point I had a very toxic and burned relationship with work.

I am so privileged that I've had the time to recover. My partner has been so good and making sure we've haven't suffered even though our industries fucking suck right now. Because I don't think I even realized how burned out I was. Like, I know that I was burned out - it seemed apparent with how I was going - but not how it actually was. It was seriously affecting my mental health to the point where I was either laying in bed not doing anything for days, or cleaning the house or playing video games or doing whatever for literally 16 hours or more without stopping. Like I think my body was incredibly out of wack. I don't think I really understood "the body keeps the score" until then.

It took me months to find passion in something again. Crochet is great. It was something I actually wanted to do which wasn't just sitting in front of a computer screen. I had no energy to hang with friends or leave the house even though they would have no doubt made me feel better.

I think with finally, finally nothing to do - after years of academic rigor with working on top of it and finishing my masters and trying not to lose my mind with a company that was falling apart around me - my body just went to the other extreme. I can't even explain what was the burn out (versus like, not having the proper meds, or if it was both, or if one was affecting the other, etc.) or what it was really doing to me, but I knew I had it.

There were a few times throughout the last year that I thought I had finally recovered. Pushed myself to apply to jobs and try to turn my hobbies into money making machines (I would still like to do some as side hustles, but not to force it to happen if it doesn't) even though my body was too tired to even think about going to a job every day. Too stressed about being rejected all the shit I dealt with my last job that I couldn't really do it.

All this to say that burn out is so invasive, I just never really realized it. It affected every part of me, and still does! Over the past few months I've slowly, slowly seen myself recovering. Actually wanting to show my work and the best of myself. Thinking about pursuing a PhD, updating my website, learning more figma and graphic design because I've always loved it and want to improve my skills. Things I want to do!

It's so refreshing to, every little while, wake up and realize, "Oh, I was still burned out, but now I'm feeling it slowly get it claws out of me".

I hope it just continues. I'm excited to see what I can become when I don't push myself to the extreme, so much so that the only thing keeping me going is not stopping.

[dimsilver]

The Icthus Directive

(part 1)

16:04:22 Galaxy Standard Time

Agent Kelton entered the numbers into the menu as precisely as his exosuit gloves would let him. 72% baroque orchestra. 28% smooth jazz.

He tapped a final button, flicked off the suit’s forearm screen, and grinned as the first notes sounded gently in his earpiece. Everyone had their own blends of automusic these days, but he was proud of this one. He’d spent weeks adjusting the percentages until the jazz notes wavered just between the melody and the continuo, supporting but not overwhelming the whole.

He started the rover again. Music should help the drive go faster. The planet Nereus was known for its constant pale-green twilight, bare, jutting landscape…and not much else. Working in census compliance didn’t really set you up for trips to the luxury biosphere planets.

Just one more isolated mining settlement to go.

18:20:37 GST

Kelton jerked the rover to the left as its fat rubber tires nearly collided with yet another spiky rock jutting from the canyon floor.

He could see the end of the canyon ahead, where one wall sank back into a dusty twilit plain. It couldn’t come soon enough. He’d been awake almost a full standard day, and he’d spent the last hour weaving through the canyon, straining to see ahead. The rover’s headlights were bright enough, but they turned the rocks nearest him into knife-sharp, mile-long shadows that obscured everything in their path.

He flexed one hand, sore from clenching the wheel. Right, right again, left—around a rock that towered taller than a D-class ship. He was nearly there.

And that’s when the tire popped.

Kelton knew by instinct what the sharp jerk was even as it flung him forward. He clung to the wheel as the rover careened to the right, wrenching it into a clear spot. He slammed on the brakes and slid to an unsteady halt. The rover rocked forward, then sideways, as any remaining air left the shredded tire in a rush.

Dust clouded and swirled in the headlights. Theorbo and bass guitar twanged together in his ear.

He took a long breath, switched off the automusic, and cursed. Very loudly.

Survival wasn’t the issue. The rover carried emergency oxygen and food, even a foldable shelter in case of something like this. This wasn’t the first time he’d broken down while on a job.

But the closest company craft was on the literal other side of the planet, over in Luton. Devor had taken it to do the big, spread-out mining centers there, leaving him with the rover for the little ones. He’d told her it wouldn’t be a problem.

Knowing her, she’d decide it was most efficient to finish up her compliance visits before coming to his rescue—and she’d expect him to get his last one finished anyway.

Flicking on his forearm screen, he typed a quick message and activated his location beacon.

I’ve broken down a few miles out from Settlement A412. Rover is currently inoperable and will need to be transported for maintenance. I’ll plan to meet you at A412 at your earliest convenience.

Scowling, he pressed “send.”

Then he swung down from the rover. Boots crunching in the dusty gravel, he walked around to the back and unhooked the survival essentials pack. With a grunt, he swung it unto his shoulders and fastened the straps.

He’d rather get to A412 tonight. The shelter wasn’t comfortable.

Cursing again, Kelton switched off the rover, sending his surroundings into stark blackness. Quickly, he turned on his exosuit’s own headlight. Then he marked his current coordinates, set up the routing system, and started walking.

He didn’t have Settlement A412’s exact coordinates—that was the other problem. Its census agreements hadn’t been updated in over ten years. An embarrassment to the Milky Way Authority, on all counts—one he would soon correct. But first, he had to get to the general area, keeping his eyes open for the domed shelters that would be burrowed into the rocks beside the yawning mining shafts. And he was tired.

He hadn’t walked for more than a few minutes when he saw a figure ahead—silhouetted in the pale light just beyond the canyon’s end. It seemed to be walking slowly in his direction. He tensed a little, gloved fingers twitching towards the stun rod clipped to his thigh, then dropping again. A lone traveler, on foot, was unusual. But Nereus wasn’t known for violence or gang activity.

The figure continued its slow progress toward him. As they drew even with another and his headlight flashed over it, he saw that it was an android.

An old DG-30 unit. Emphasis on old—a long crack ran down one of its legs, and the eye-sensors were separate, mounted on top of the head. Probably a pre-biometric scanning model. No visible weapons.

It had to be from Settlement A412. But why was it ranging miles away?

Kelton took a step closer. “Directive?” he asked it.

“Directive,” said a cool, carefully accented voice. “Feed the hungry. Give drink to the thirsty. Clothe the naked. Shelter the homeless. Visit the sick. Bury the dead.”

The directive was non-standard. Not mining protocol, that was for sure. The unit paused, as if waiting.

Then suddenly it bent at the waist, reached out a rust-spotted finger, and traced a shape into the fine gray dust. Two curving lines, like segments of a circle, meeting at one point and crossing at another.

He had hoped that the DG-30 would show him the way. But the scratched shape didn’t look like a map.

Kelton leaned forward and sent a visual search query for the symbol. But the results pane at the bottom of his vision came back empty.

The unit’s two greenish eye-sensors were tilted toward him. “I don’t understand,” he told it.

It paused again, as if recalibrating, then asked a new question.

“What is your need?” The metallic voice had a touch of sympathy.

“Nothing,” Kelton began; then, remembering its odd directive in a sudden flash of genius—“I mean, I’m homeless.”

“Homeless,” repeated the android. “No place of residence?”

“None,” he answered, hoping it somehow wouldn’t scan his identity chip.

It paused again. Then it nodded.

“Follow me,” it said, and it turned and began walking.

That worked?

Kelton followed. They crunched along in silence, out of the dark canyon, and struck out across the plain. For the first time in hours, he felt like laughing. The whole interaction had been so strange—just a few words, and now the unit was taking him where he needed to go. And the shape it had drawn? He’d have to ask about it at the mining settlement.

Odd that the visual search hadn’t found anything.

(part 2 coming soon)

@inklings-challenge

[sarcasmandships]

his! do you have any peterick fic recommendations? i've already read all your works on ao3 and i'm waiting desperately for updates so until then i need something to read because i feel like i've already read soooo many fics and i'm running out of material plz help :)

hiiii, im glad you like my fics and I'm sorry im terrible at updating i used to be so consistent but uni is just killing me with assignments rn! but i promise the restaurant au will get an update soon and im planning to edit death by a thousand cuts before i add to it again cos im just not really happy with the quality of it, but that will also be coming soon i promise!

anyways onto what you're really asking about; recommendations. im not sure if you're looking for smut or stories with plot so here's just a mix of things i've really liked ( i suck at bookmarking things so I've just searched through my history and there's deffos stuff i've missed im sorry)

Literally just read kick me in the face & ask me how my head feels by fkingdeathwish today - devoured this in a few hours and this fic made me like stories in first person. its so good and also has the best andy/joe/pete friendship dynamics i was smiling the whole time. but also features a lot of petekey tho which might not be ur thing

(smut) going down, down by @pyrchance - i read this the other day and its 10/10

Anything by snitchesandtalkers but some of my favourites are i've been checking my list, crooked love, making out inside crashed cars (smut), silver screen dream, the antidote to everything (except for me), we're friends when you're on your knees (not finished but still so so worth reading), amateur pornographers (smut obvs), a little less 16 candles (a little more bite me)

brutal love by @notastumph- this one is so good but like i also had to take a 5 min break between chapters cos the angst and heartbreak was getting to me so much (in the best way)

and i'll burn by jiksa - just read the tags first

the house on rosewood lane by scarredsodeep - this one is so fucking good, i don't even like horror and i was obsessed with this and couldn't stop reading

hey doctor, i'm certifiable by derridoid (smut) - so good and the ending made me laugh sm

husband on the payroll by das_verlorence-kind - what can i say, i love the fake relationship trope

also ive changed my plea to guilty by das_verlorence_kind - again just check the tags incase it’s not ur thing

accidents will happen by rusty76

again pretty much everything by @annoyingpetekey but some favourites are (i just wanna) get some, so pretty (when you're on your knees), and come on (and fuck me like you doubt me) - all smut

That Schrodinger guy made some really good points, you know? by @earlgreytea68

but i'm reflecting light by looks_a_scream - this one is deffos a favourite

the purgatory of my hips by auralcosm

edgar allan potato by emeralcitydowntowngirl - another absolute favourite, i have such a soft spot for soulmate AUs but I've never read one as good as this, again features a lot of petekey but it is all in the past

to take what i'm given with grace by likeasugarcube - their whole 'marriage of convience' series is amazing but this is the main fic and it is sooo good

anything by littlesnowpea but favourites include love in the middle of a firefight, but there's no preparing for this, and nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy (pls read tags first tho)

december is for cynics by looks_a_scream - another favourite

secrets i don’t want to keep by perceived_nobility (although i think they’ve changed their name to invisible_man now) anyways this one is only accessible if you have an ao3 account but it is so so good an hurts in all the best ways, would advise paying attention to some of the tags tho

Also pretty much anything written by appleremix or vampyerika

Ok so I have like another 30+ pages in my history but this is already so long, so i hope you enjoy some of these assuming you haven't read them already!

[thislovintime]

"Lady's Baby" (Tork) alternate vocal [More on YouTube.] Photo 1 in this video by Nurit Wilde, photo 2 by Bridgeman Images.

"[At the Troubadour, Peter] sang one of his new songs, ‘Lady’s Baby,’ and was called back for an encore." - Disc and Music Echo, May 18, 1968 (x)

“Peter isn’t sure what he’s going to do now [that he has left The Monkees], but he’s feeling free for the first time in months. Toward the end of the Monkees’ run at Screen Gems, Peter said they’d go into recording sessions and not even speak to each other much less play together.” - Circus, June 1969

“[Davy] got sick of banging the tambourine all day long. And [Micky] lost faith in himself. He never did believe he was a decent drummer, so he didn't want to do it anymore. Mike wanted to produce his own records. He wanted to have total control. I was the only one who believed in the group per se, and so there I was all by myself, wanting a group, with nobody to be a group with.” - Peter Tork, When The Music Mattered (1984)

“Taking the expression of following one’s muse quite literally, [Peter] sought to re-create in the studio the very environment that inspired him to compose the song. This endeavor included having a recording engineer crawl on the ground after young Justin to capture real-life ‘smiles and coos’ (as in the song’s lyrics). Both lady and baby giggled and squeaked through hours of expensive recording time, which seemed to infuriate some members of the band and their musical coordinator, the late Lester Sill. ‘“Lady’s Baby” was a very weird and ridiculous situation,’ recalls engineer Hank Cicalo. ‘To accommodate Peter at the time, he wanted to do this thing and he wanted it to be real spacey. So what we did was we set up the studio and brought rugs in and made a little room with pillows. He would bring his friends in and they’d sit around and he’d play a little bit. It was pretty outrageous: days and days of doing the same piece of material. ‘They would just sit around for hours and drink wine and carry on, and try to get takes of this tune. Maybe we would make one or two takes. It was OK for me as an engineer because it was like taxi time. But he wouldn’t take any help from anybody. At this point in time I thought my communication with the guys was pretty good, and I could talk to them and whatever else. There were a couple of times he got a little hot about doing this. I’d say, ‘Hey, you’re wasting a lot of time. Either we do this track, or we get on with it.’ We must have done a hundred takes on that thing. He sort of went off on his own in a lot of ways. And there was a little resentment between the guys in not working together.’” - The Birds, The Bees & The Monkees box set liner notes

“Hey listen, fair is fair. They laugh and joke about that [‘Lady’s Baby’]. OK, it cost as much to do I think as ‘Good Vibrations.’ They were laughing about Peter Tork, but that [song] is a true-to-life thing. He was living with a woman [Karen Harvey] at the time and she had a little baby [Justin Hammer] and that changed his life, you know? That gave him something to think about. He was being downtrodden by the studio in regard to his recording and his playing and his songs and everything else, but the guy was the salt of the earth. It wasn’t just Hare Krishna, waterbeds and brown rice. That guy was a very, very accomplished musician. He needed magic to be able to get in and do ‘Lady’s Baby.’ It’s a nice song. It’s true. It’s got the warmth and everything of what he was living. ‘Lady’s Baby’ touches me, lets me know that I am free, whatever it is. I remember it so well. It’s a real tune, you know? I love it.” - Davy Jones, The Monkees: The Day-By-Day Story of the '60s TV Pop Sensation (2005) (x)

"[M]y darling Karen, with whom I am still very good friends all these years later.” - Peter Tork during his My Life In The Monkees & So Much More tour, 2013 (x)

"We’re still very, very good friends." - Karen Harvey, The News Journal, July 16, 1989 (x)

Q: “The Birds, The Bees & The Monkees sessions was a productive time in the studio for The Monkees. However, none of your stuff like ‘Lady’s Baby’ and ‘Tear The Top Right Off My Head’ made it to the album. How come?” Peter Tork: “To tell you truth… I… I never was able in those days particularly — I’m getting better at it these days — but in those days I was almost entirely unable to fight for what I saw as quality. If I didn’t get somebody fighting on my behalf then it didn’t, just didn’t come to pass. And none of the other guys was much interested in supporting my sense of quality, they had their own agendas and each one of them… I mean, not that I was left out in this regard, no one of us really supported any of the others except that, that I like to think that I tried to support Micky in a way which, for some reason, he never did pick up on. I mean, I think that Micky has a certain kind of genius that he was never able to acknowledge in himself. But be any of that as it may, I just basically think that I wasn’t feeling a part of it anymore already by that point, I’d already felt like I was odd man out, and of course I quit almost immediately thereafter. In fact, I think it’s The Birds, The Bees & The Monkees that has some tunes that were recorded after I quit.” - Headquarters radio, September 1989 (x)

[redswaberkez]

ok so its been more than a month since my graphic screen is arrived and bein used almost every day for 6-12 hours its time to do a lil review under the cut

(obligatory warning for longreads my english is a crap and yada yada) my bby boaris (kabanchik) cintiq 16'. (old one from 2020) I bought the tablet for a loot of reasons, Very Reasonable ones and not so reasonable too LMAO. Earned money with blood and sweat (literally💥) ANYWAY. Tablet's size is perfect for my needs, not way too small, not way too big, the screen workspace is the same with my old laptop (give or take few mm) This cintiq isnt from manufactor, its used before tablet from someone else in 'from the assembly line' condition. As soon as tab arrived i immediately ordered a ptotective film to prevent the appearance of The Hole. You what im talking about.

I was afraid that it would be extremely inconvenient for me to work with it and that the purchase would generally be unsuccessful, because before ONCE IN MY LIFE 7 yrs ago i had an experience w cintiq 24' and it wasnt really comfortable then. AND i had always used a regular plain tablet. BUT NOOOPE everything is PERFECT and i love it.

PROS!! - brain loves to see what u are actually drawing. Its easier to control every single move and stroke therefore it drastically buffs your skill. The progress of it development i mean. U have to get used to it. the tablet itself wont give u a 'make my skill insane button' u have to WORK ON IT obviously. (says the one who've been stuck in cps for a month straight OUGH) - it works as another monitor. so u can do whatever u wish using two of them. or u can just buy random tablet screen and use it as a SINGLE monitor lmaooo. -doesnt overheat (my main display overheats noticeably thank god i dont need to place my arm over it). -uses one single thicc cable which divides into three at the end (usb hdmi and power cables) - thin, from 1cm to 1,5cm +-, wheights somewhere 1,5kgs, has small stand legs which gives it ahh +- 30 degrees tilt angle. U can travel with the tablet but it needs pc or laptop to be connected with. -i havent seen its guts but i bet the circuits are...fine... i hope so.. at least if it wont overheat then the circuits wont burn down.. makes sense.. yeah.... -I also didnt notice any problems with drivers or connection for this month. u just turn ur pc on and ready to go.

CONS. - ur neck is bout to die if u gonna work like me cuz its tilt is only 30 degs (u can buy a normal stand tho. or a monitor bracket and stop torturing urself). SHRIMP POSTURE CHEEEECK. - it doesn't have buttons like my tablet had. Its a taste preference honestly. for someone its a pros for me its a cons. EASILY COUNTERS BY it might seem crazy what im bout to say A KEYBOARD. you just need to get used to it. again. - should i even mention the price? ofc its a con. since mine is a former usage one it was a lil cheaper than usually. but I knew what I was buying ((WACOM)) so i aint complaining now. - small really small con: sometimes cps wont react to pen button clicks but ig its even a program problem than tablets (easily counters by pressing space button one time). its really just a biiit annoying and nothing special. It works great all of the time. - THE PEN TIP WEARS OFF WITH FIRST COSMIC VELOCITY. ig its affected by protective film (its matte). counters by TITAN PEN TIP (plus now its a weapon if u are brave enough) -due to its protective matte film there is a small insignificant diffs between two screens but its not really this big. At least between mine displays. Diff btw my old laptop screen colors and tablet is fucking HUGE (lap is a 12 yrs old veteran have some respect🙄) - OK OK OK LAST LITTLE NIGGLE. Since I play shooters like valorant and...cs.. and move my hand powerfully across the table, I HAD to look for *that very specific place* for the tablet so that everything would be perRRRFECT by millimeters (ocd moment)

notable mention that takes a special place in my heart

wait while we talk to your displays 😥😥😥😥 omg..... cried....died.... my sons...

thats all i can say for now

[cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb]

Hazbin hotel Episode 6 Live Blogging

It's past midnight on a work day I'll see if I can get through this. I'm not editing this good luck to both of us.

SPOILERS

Okay to start, less than a minute in, Charlie wants to prove that a sinner can ve redeemed. But she has no proof. None of the hotel gang are acting that much better than when they started. Sure they get a long better,but that doesn't make them good people. War crimes are usually commited in groups. Comradery is neutral.

So much for Vaggie supporting Charlie, huh. I get not wanting to go to heaven for this meeting, but considering how badly the last one, excluding whether she knows about the contract thing, having support to help talking things out is a good thing. Especially, with Charlie being prone to singing her point instead of explaining it.

Cherry bomb...finally. I'm sorry but the way Angel announced her felt like a sitcom. Cue canned cheering.

He's been texting all day?? I thought he was working with Val for 16 hours straight. i don't care about breaks, its Val we're talking about.

The wall blowing up is going to a constant gag huh.

Charlie inserting her will in what Angel is doing is annoying at best, but a kick in the teeth after the shit she caused in Ep 4. It's not the same thing the wow did she not learn.

[Pen is hitting on cherry. Nevermind with this Im going to bed]

[11hrs later and im back]

First angel on screen, I didn't think the designs for them would be grand, bootleg christian tv special was not what i would've expected.

The static is back. this is going to drive me insane.

The book he's holding is pretty, can't wait to see it in the merch store.

Okay nevermind, only his design is boring. That's a lot of the same-ish color but I like the look of the two new angels.

the short one is Charlie too, I have hope for her- oh god song incoming.

It is literally only his design that's boring, that had to be on purpose. I like the way heaven looks, I like the designs of the residents. everything is good so far.

Buff angels

the song is like a 4/10. Visuals doing a lot of the heavy lifting.

Exorcist lady has a face!? I hope Adam is in this one scene only, there's already been too much of him.

The static glitter is everywhere and I hate it.

So the exterminations are a secret in heaven, interesting. Adam's the one pushing the exterminations!?!? And heaven's just letting him do it cuz he's the first dickbag or whatever, what?

Vaggie's a former exorcist!? That explains why she didn't want to go back to heaven. And the military thing in episode 3.

Okay i get the threat of adam telling Charlie Vaggie's secret, but like, sinners kill each other all the time. Angel goes on killing sprees with Cheery, per the pilot. Pen has had two war blimps. Husk was and overlord, Alastor is one currently. Vaggie killing sinners isn't that much different and if she confess why she she was left in hell Charlie going to forgive her.

Also, why are there children in hell? There's no answer to that that isn't horrifying.

I hate Adam but showing actual evidence should have been the first thing the prepared. Also, a bunch of dictionary definitions, really. At this point they're just incompetent.

Was worried we were going to have a redue of the news broadcast from the pilot but asking Adam how to get into heaven is a neat turn around.

Nevermind it us a redo of the pilot fuck. Why.

Husk- "you want to fick up all your progress-" What fucking progress!?! We as the audience have seen no change in any of them.

Why are the angels upset Charlie said fuck, Adam's been saying it and no one's cared.

Cherry's character is tanking early that's neat. And Pen's hitting on hesr again, ugh.

Great, Cherry's actions have directly pushed Angel towards his abuser who he was trying to avoid, wonderful. I hate this so much.

Why is angel the one getting niffty!?! I wouldn't call what happened with val a win, but it is a step forward

No one knows how to get into heaven, okay. My feelings on that are mixed.

Song #2

It's already been 5 months? so what, an episode per month?

The fire in the eyes of the angel is a neat shot.

thousands of demons, that’s kinda low isn't it. Considering no ine knows how to get into heaven, I'm thinking it might be closer to an even slit with heaven maybe having a bit more % wise.

I like this more than Ep 5.

Was looking forward to seeing cherry in the show, she was disappointing. Kinda a half assed friend. Because she was so pushy with Angel he not only had an encounter with Val, heaven was less persuaded by Charlie's bid for their redemption.

(wrote something else here but it got deleted and I don't remember so oops on that.)