#screaming sobbing breaking clawing
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kayzean Ā· 7 months ago
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alright bungie what the FUCK was this weeks radio message? You can't just do that!
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sunarinscat Ā· 7 months ago
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Nsfw below the cut !!
Thinking about Izuku who gets a little bit older and his voice grows a bit deeper. Itā€™s raspy from all that screaming he did growing up. His hands are big and worn with scars and they easily dwarf your dainty little ones. He comes home with so much pent up frustration! The enemy got away and he hardly got to fight!! He still has adrenaline pumping through his veins.. all of that energy has to go somewhere. How can you deny him the outlet he needs?
So he coaxes his darling wife away from making dinner and slides you up on the counter. He fucking devours you. But heā€™s holding back. Heā€™s trying so hard to be gentle with you.. that is until you blink up at him with your big doe eyes and long wet lashes. You look towards your thighs and your cheeks go red as you beg him to manhandle you.. to treat you like a toy. You bat your lashes at him and tell him you can take it. His girl can take it.
ā€œPlease zukuā€™ā€ you whine.
He absolutely loses it. Hands all over you in an instant. He pries you thighs open and holds them there with his strong grip. His head is between your thighs and heā€™s eating you out like a man starved.
Heā€™s moaning into your pussy and you know heā€™s saying the nastiest shit but itā€™s muffled and you can hardly hear it. Midoriya is so big on praise, heā€™ll break away just to tell you how good you are for him, how precious.. before heā€™s back at your cunt, lapping at your folds. He swirls his tongue around your clit, bringing two fingers up to tease your entrance. He slips his thick, calloused digits inside and hits that spongey spot you can never seem to reach on your own. He shudders when your hands find purchase in his hair. It makes him sob into you, the vibrations sending delicious shivers through your body. And when you go over the edge he doesnā€™t stop.
ā€œOne more fā€™me princess.ā€
But one turns into five and by the time his drooling cock is lining up with your entrance youā€™re twitching. But you said you could handle it. His girl CAN handle it, right? he fucks you mercilessly. Heā€™s gripping you for dear life, mumbling things in your ear and cursing out that villain. You paw at his chest because itā€™s too hot and itā€™s too much and heā€™s everywhere. Youā€™re so overstimulated, you canā€™t help the tears that slide down your cheeks. Izuku notices and laps them up, focusing back in on you and holding your face gently in contrast to the harsh movements of his hips. His eyes bore into yours and you can see his desperation.
ā€œCum with me baby. Last time. One more for me sweetheart.ā€
Itā€™s so desperate, all of it is. Your clawing at his back as he fucks you. You can feel yourself approaching your high and you know heā€™s close too. With a whine you pull his face into your neck and cum hard. The way your plush walls squeeze around him has him reeling. When he finishes inside he collapses beside you.
Suddenly that sweet boy you met in highschool is back with you and heā€™s cleaning you up and asking if your all right. He runs a bath and feeds you the dinner you made before sliding into the tub with you and taking good care of you. When you flinch as his hands hit something sore he peppers kisses all over your back and shoulders. He asks if that was too much and you lean back into him reassuring him that you enjoyed it.
Izuku wonā€™t go out of his way to manhandle you again.But maybe if you beg again heā€™ll give inā€¦
[unedited for now]
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yannawayne Ā· 7 months ago
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not a weapon but a personā€”capable of loving and being loved.
SYNOPSIS: You get kidnapped and Damian snaps. TAGS: Graphic Depictions Of Violence! Genderneutral! Blood, Hurt/Comfort, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Kidnapping, Childhood Trauma, My Mother is the Worst Woman Alive and I'm her Favorite Son, Damian is Eighteen.
ā‹…ā€¢ā‹…āŠ°āˆ™āˆ˜ā˜½ ā™±
A heavy thud. Ragged breaths. Then the sound of footsteps.
The same hands that had ruthlessly beat your kidnappers to a pulpā€”the ones that had pulverized flesh with blood splattered across his knuckles, the ones that had heard the crack of bones beneath his grip, the ones that bore the scars of countless cuts and stabsā€”now traced your cheek with a featherlight touch.
"Beloved."
ā‹…ā€¢ā‹…āŠ°āˆ™āˆ˜ā˜½ ā™±
YOUR PALMS WERE PRESSED tightly against your eyes, wrists raw and burning from the rope that had bound them just minutes ago. Sobs slipped from your lips, eyes bloodshot, and mouth parched dry.
The rotting smell of the warehouse was an assault on your sensesā€”an acrid mix of trash, harsh chemicals, and the faint tang of gunfire that lingered in the air.
There was a hushing in your ear as you leaned against a cloaked figureā€”Batman. Bruce.Ā 
His hand rubbed at your back, firm and steady, a grounding presence amid the chaos. His cape, dark and imposing, wrapped around you like a shield, blocking out the violence unfolding just in front of you.
Shadows danced erratically on the walls as Robin moved with lethal precision. Bodies fell unconscious, thudding heavily against the concrete floor. Blood splattered. Screams echoed. Each punch landed with a sickening crunch, bones breaking. Crates and debris were scattered haphazardly, wood and concrete slamming onto the floor.Ā 
Damian couldn't see anything but red.
His vision was tunneled, focused solely on the next target, the next blow, the next scream.Ā 
A swift roundhouse kick sent one assailant crashing into a stack of crates, the wood splintering under the impact. One punch connected with a jaw, the sickening crunch of bone breaking echoing through the air. Blood sprayed on his fist. Another one rushed toward him, brandishing a knife, but he disarmed the man with a swift twist of the wrist, jamming the blade into the attacker's palm. The man screamed, clutching his arm as red streaked his skin.
Damian's eyes flickered with a dark satisfaction as he watched the thug stumble backward, clutching at the wound.
One last man remained. One who had lunged at him from behind, grappling onto his back. Damian scowled and surged backward, driving both himself and his attacker into the wall with bone-crushing force. The man's grip loosened, a pained gasp escaping his lips as the air was knocked out of him.
"Fool," Damian spat, his voice dripping with venom. "Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?"
The thug whimpered, trying to scramble away, but Damian was relentless. He twisted sharply, dislodging the assailant and slamming an elbow into his ribs. The man crumpled against the wall, clutching his side, his eyes wide with fear and pain.
"You think you can touch those I care for and get away with it?" Damian growled. He didn't give the thug a moment to recover. He swung a powerful fist into the guy's face, the impact sending a spray of blood and teeth into the air.Ā 
"F-Fuck you, man!" The man yanked a gun from his waistband, but before he could even line up a shot, Damianā€™s foot kicked out, sending the weapon flying through the air. The gun clattered against the concrete with a deafening clang. With a snarl, Damian lunged forward, grabbing the thug by the collar and slamming him into the ground.
"H-Hey! Mercy! Mercy! I'm a-already down!" the assailant wailed, his hands clawing at Robin's uniform in a desperate plea. "The Bat donā€™t kill! Youā€”you ain't gonna kill me!"
Damian's expression hardened, his eyes narrowing as his voice dropped to a low, menacing growl.
"I'm not Batman," he spat, the tone amplified and darkened by the modulator. "Every breath you take is a mercy I choose to grant. By the time I'm finished, you'll be begging for death."
He raised his fist, the tension in his muscles coiling like a spring ready to snap. The thugā€™s eyes widened in terror, his pleas growing frantic as he braced for the blow. However, just as Damianā€™s fist was about to land, a hand clamped down on his shoulder, grabbing onto his hand with a vice-like grip. Before he could react, Batmanā€”Bruceā€”had tackled him, pinning him firmly against his chest.Ā 
ā€œRobin,ā€ Batmanā€™s voice was firm, concern barely concealed. ā€œThatā€™s enough.ā€
Damian's struggle was fierce, his body thrashing under his fatherā€™s strength as he roared in fury.
ā€œLet me go!ā€ he screamed, his voice raw with anger. ā€œIā€™m going to kill him for what he did to them!ā€
The anger engulfed Damian like a stormy ocean, dragging him beneath its violent waves. Visions of his motherā€™s face, his grandfatherā€™s form, and accusing shadows surged from the depths, all condemning him. Damianā€™s cries erupted into a raw, guttural scream, gradually dissolving into ragged gasps as he battled the relentless tide.
Though Bruce had shaped him into a hero, a beacon of justice, and his family had offered him a fragile semblance of belonging, Damian was still his motherā€™s son.
The violence and anger roiling within him were like roots twisted deep within his soul. There was not a thing that could purge the primal rage and pain that had taken root before his first breath.
When he finally broke through the surface, baptized in blood and weighed down by sins that clung to him like chains, he sought you out with an urgent, almost desperate need.
A heavy thud. Ragged breaths. Then the sound of footsteps.
The same hands that had ruthlessly beat your kidnappers to a pulpā€”the ones that had pulverized flesh with blood splattered across his knuckles, the ones that had heard the crack of bones beneath his grip, the ones that bore the scars of countless cuts and stabsā€”now traced your cheek with a featherlight touch.
"Beloved."
Your hands were carefully peeled away from your eyes, and you met soft emerald eyes through a veil of tears. His hands moved to unlatch his cape, the soft fabric pooling around your form. His lips, speaking in his mother tongue, murmured a soothing litany of comfort, Arabic endearments flowing like silk. He pressed your head against his chest and you found refuge in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.Ā 
Bruce watched the scene with a pensive look. His son's body had dwarfed you, broad shoulders and strong muscles enveloping your form like a shield. His head was tucked into your hair, his hands raking all over your tense and sweaty skin.
Damian had momentarily shed the hardened exterior he so often woreā€”a soldier with a heart that, despite its armor, occasionally revealed cracks. This was a side of him that often surprised people.
Because Damian Wayne was the farthest thing from soft.
He was all sharp edges. Poisonous, scalding words that could sear through the thickest armor of patience. Rough, nearly violent in his touch, like a blade pressed against skin. There was no gentleness in his movements, no softness in his gestures, only the relentless precision of a trained killer.
From the earliest moments he could walk, his life was an unending series of tests, each more grueling than the last. Each cut and bruise was a lesson. Failure was met with harsh punishment, success with silent approval. Affection and praise were as rare as mercy.Ā 
The Leagueā€™s doctrine was ingrained in him: emotions were vulnerabilities, attachments were liabilities, and loyalty was owed only to the mission and the League. His purpose in the League of Assassins was clearā€”to be the perfect instrument of their will, a living embodiment of their principles.Ā 
Emotion was his enemy, a weakness to be purged.Ā  He was taught to suppress his feelings, to turn them off like a switch. Pain was an illusion, fear a phantom to be banished. He learned to compartmentalize his thoughts, locking away his humanity in the deepest recesses of his mind.Ā 
By the time he reached ten, he was a finely honed instrument of death.
A living weapon in a world that knew no peace.
It had taken Bruce eight grueling years to begin undoing the damage. And even then, he had barely scratched the surface.
Then there was you.
The trembling, warm-faced student Damian had introduced during his senior yearā€”his partner for a science project, he said.Ā 
At first, the interactions were subtleā€”a fleeting glance here, a hesitant smile there. But as time went on, it became impossible to ignore the way your presence began to soften the sharp edges of Damian's demeanor.
Bruce had seen you both fall for each other over the months. And he saw hope.Ā 
You were the opposite of every lesson Damian has ever been taught.
To him, you were soft, in every sense. Soft movements, soft features, soft voice. Everything about you exuded comfort.
You made something he had always pushed down and shut away come to the surface.
You made him feel thingsā€”things he should not.
When you touched him with your soft hands, everything in him burned. The gentle brush of your fingers against his skin ignited a searing heat, a raw and unfamiliar longing that clawed violently at the walls he had worked so hard to maintain. Each touch chipped away at the concrete barriers of his training, breaking them down and leaving him exposed, aching for something he couldnā€™t quite name.
ā‹…ā€¢ā‹…āŠ°āˆ™āˆ˜ā˜½ ā™±
Mania. Drake had called it, a wild obsession of his that could consume and devour.
Damian's arms encircled you like a lifeline, holding you close as though he feared you might slip away. His lips brushed against your temple, warm and tender, while his biceps pressed firmly under your chest, anchoring you in his embrace. The air was thick with the mingled scents of sweat, blood, and the lingering residue of fear.Ā 
And yet, amidst these odors, there was an underlying, almost imperceptible hint of Damianā€™s cologneā€”Arabian oudh. It was rich and smoky, with notes of aged wood, a faint earthy sweetness, and subtle undertones of leather and spice.
You buried your face into the crook of his neck, the fabric of his suit brushing against your cheek.
A Crush. Todd had chalked it up to puppy love, something that would eventually fade with time.
He lifted you effortlessly from the floor, his strength evident in his smooth, controlled movements. The way he adjusted his hold with such care to ensure your comfort spoke louder than any words could.
Warmth enveloped youā€”Damian had always run hotter, like a human furnace. On sweltering days, his clinginess (no matter how much he denied it) had been a nuisance, his heat making you feel as if your skin might melt off. But now, that same warmth was a comforting embrace, a welcome shield.
Infatuation. Grayson had suggested, thinking it was just a fleeting, intense passion. But there was something deeper in the way he looked at you, something that felt permanent and unshakeable.
ā€œI am here. I am here, beloved," he spoke to you lowly. "It's alright now."
Love. His father called it.
In an instant, everything seemed to collapse around you. Tears welled up and streamed down your cheeks as you sobbed into his chest, each shudder of your body sending waves of anguish through him. Damianā€™s heart twisted painfully at the sight of you.Ā 
He has seen sufferingā€”he has inflicted suffering. But this was different. Your pain was a torment he was helpless to alleviate.Ā 
Face twisted in guilt, he pulled you tighter against him, as though he could hold the worldā€™s pain at bay if he just held you close enough.
A hand tapped at his shoulder, and he flinched, turning to see his father.
ā€œThe Batmobile is just by the docks. We canā€”ā€
ā€œThey're in shock,ā€ Damian scowled. the fire back in his eyes. ā€œDo you honestly believe they're in any state to be moved at this moment?ā€
Bruceā€™s gaze was firm. ā€œDamian, we donā€™t have time toā€”ā€
ā€œThey need to be stabilized first,ā€ Damian cut in sharply, his tone brooking no argument. He turned abruptly, striding towards the exit. ā€œIf you want them to survive this, we need to take care of them properly, not rush them into a car. I shall be outside.ā€
Without waiting for a response, Damian moved swiftly, the clatter of his boots echoing as he stepped into the cool night air with you. Once the warehouse door closed behind him, he turned his full attention back to you, his hand gently brushing your tear-streaked face.Ā 
He moved to press his forehead gently against yours, the warmth of his skin meeting yours in a tender connection. He could offer no verbal comfort anymore; words seemed woefully inadequate. Your cries gradually subsided as you drew comfort from his presence.
Love.
He lifted his hand to the side of his face, pressing a button. As his mask retracted, his eyes met yours. Damian knew that more than anything else, you loved his eyes.
Time and again, you found yourself drawn to them, unable to tear your gaze away. They were hypnoticā€”an exquisite blend of emerald green, green as vibrant as the leather cover of his sketchbook, flecked with gold and streaked with brown paint.
His eyes were windows to his soul, offering the only genuine glimpse into the depths of his emotions. In them, you could see his anger burning like a stormy sea, joy dancing like sunlight on rippling water, embarrassment flitting like a shadow, and pain etched as deep as his scars.
At times, his eyes grew gentle, revealing something much softerā€”something that made your heart swell and your knees feel weak. A love so pure and unexpected that it could melt the coldest of hearts.
Damian Wayne was the farthest thing from soft.
But in these soft, fragile moments he shared with you, where his heart beat in sync with yours, Damian found an unexpected calm. It was in these rare interludes, away from the brutality and darkness that defined his world, that he could truly be himself.
Here, he was not a weapon but a personā€”capable of loving and being loved.
ā‹…ā€¢ā‹…āŠ°āˆ™āˆ˜ā˜½ ā™±
ao3: yenwayne
NOTE: I want to delve into the line I wrote: 'Damian is still his motherā€™s son.'
It's just to show his trauma, I despise Talia with all my guts.
Talia's control over Damian is a textbook example of manipulative conditioning at its most extreme. In psychological development, early experiences and parental influence are crucial in shaping one's self-concept. From his earliest days, Damian was deprived of a normal childhood. His personality, thoughts, and desires have all been sculpted by the League of Assassins from day one.
His anger, protectiveness, and sense of duty are manifestations of thisā€”a child raised to be a killer, now struggling with the fragments of a humanity that was never fully allowed to blossom.
I'm not saying he hasn't changed!!! He has turned into so much more than the weapon they intended him to be. He is genuinely good. But the impact of such deep-seated trauma cannot be easily overlooked or resolved. Itā€™s not something that can simply be swept under the rug or fixed overnight.
So, this was my attempt at capturing his character! Iā€™m very open to constructive criticism since Iā€™m new to the fandom. Please be kind and gentle with your feedback :)
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tojisun Ā· 9 months ago
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sex with simonā€¦ oh the worms. they're going crazy
!! (mentioned) breeding kink; squirting; unrealistic (and hinted gratuitous) sex; afab reader
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he would keep you in his bed however long he wants. you could have work or any other scheduled outing, but nothing gets accomplished nor is a priority the moment he's got you in his room. it's not like he chains you to his postsā€”not unless you two planned itā€”but he teases, rutting his cock along your stomach or punching it deep in your cervix. the croons come soon, always accompanied by open-mouth kisses along your skin.
ā€œyā€™r so wet, listenā€”ā€
you squeal, clawing the sheets at his deep thrust; the slide so wet and sloppy, your cunt drips and squelches. your cheeks tingle with warmth and your chest thrums with the feeling of shame, and you want to curl into yourself but know you are unable to.
not with how simonā€™s bearing down on you like the weight of his fat cock isnā€™t enough to smother the little air you donā€™t gasp out in your dizzying bliss.
he grins, seeing the way your eyes roll to the back of your skull and feeling your toes curl from where they are pressed on the rise of his ass, and doubles the speed. his pelvis meets your own, the head of his cock snug just before your cervix and you hiccup, thrashing, your slack jaw even more useless.
gargled keens is all you can reply to simonā€™s taunts, your mind and body unable to form any coherent thought.
your pussy aches. oversensitive. you are sure your walls will permanently be stretched, shaped by the size of simonā€™s cockā€”heā€™s ruined you for everyone else.
god. the thought shouldnā€™t be pleasing but it makes you scream, hips jumping as your orgasm builds, reaching its peak, frantic as it razes your body andā€”
andā€”
simon grunts at the wet gush of your squirt, your slick forcing itself past the plugged-in girth of his dick. he hisses to himself at the biting pleasure of your pussy gripping him like a wet, used vice, his mind going numb at the onslaught of ecstatic sensations filling his synapses.
his orgasm hits him hard too, his teeth digging into your skin as it racks him with such ferocity.
you sob, hitting him weakly with your trembling fist because sā€™too muhā€“ simon sā€™too muā€“!
he whispers his sorryā€™s. says thisā€™ll be the last round, he swears, his eyes blissfully closed as he fills your womb with his cum.
(let it take, simon sings to himself.
let it take. let it take. let it take.)
but he doesnā€™t pull out his flaccid cock, not even for a break, and you whimper, your mind humming with need and your clit thrumming with unbridled desire, because you know heā€™s not done.
not yet. not with how simon looks at you with dark eyes, his kiss-swollen lips tugged up in a grin. it looks more like a snarl, you think.
ā€œā€˜m gonā€™ make a mess out oā€™you, sweetheart,ā€ he murmurs, his voice soft even as it descends into you with a certain finality. ā€œgonā€™ fill this cunt with my cum until yā€™r wombā€™s sloshinā€™ with all of it.ā€
you blink your wet eyes up at him and mewl, ā€œplease.ā€ because you want nothing less.
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werecreature-addicted Ā· 8 months ago
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I am FERAL right now
Creature of the deep/siren like monster boyfriend during egg laying season and he's all uncomfortable and clingy. Being more aggressive and defensive when anything nearing his slit. Especially if you point out anything leaking out
It's night out and he can't get comfortable against the rock he usually lays in when you both mean. His fins are flared and he's more unstable on his legs than usual. Lost the confidence and teasing as his tail twitched and writhed when anything would press against his abdomen
When you can finally get him to lay across his lap he's clawing and hissing at you touching his abdomen until 2 slick, leaking, tentacle like cocks slide out and are positively DROOLING in the moonlight. Begging to be touched and lay eggs. He immediately started twitching but honey you gonna have to deal with those sharp claws in your arm.
Worst of it? He can't cum until he's laid all his eggs, and judging from how sensitive and swollen his slit is, it'll be awhile. He's extremely sensitive as you slowing coax out eggs from his urethra, goo like slick pouring down from the widened tube to lay eggs. And he is SOBBING at every touch.
Twitching, dry(?) orgasms, crying, and screaming all from the feeling of you trying to jack out his eggs. Blood on his hands from where he scratched you, he can't even lick it like he usually did.
And don't get me started on the final eggs. You would have to push a finger into the slit to try and press on the gland, but oh no! It's too much on your boyfriend and he fucking loses it. Screaming and kicking the second he feels you push anything in his slit. You would have to prepare him to do it again and even then he's biting you and leaving your hands covered in your blood and his slick. His tail slamming against the sand as you pump out the last egg.
Last part from there is to finish what you begun. Both his cocks are leaking out, and it doesn't taken him long to cum at all. A few pumps and light touches to his overworked slit and cock has him cumming in seconds. Next thing you know, your boyfriend is out cold and you both are covered in cum. And it's so hot because you've never seen him cum when remotely this much before.
I'm so normal about this
had to get this in before the end of MerMay.
Mermaid boyfriend who insists you take a week off of work to spend with him during breeding season. there's no way he's letting you go when he feels this way, so it's better if you just plan ahead to be with him. Even when he sleeps he keeps his cock inside of you, subconsciously thrusting his hips mumbling to himself as he fills you with his warm sticky cum, then when he wakes up he'll fuck you with a renewed passion as he thinks about his wet dream.
you have your work cut out for you, milking too big cocks for all his eggs, teasing the slit head, maybe you're mean and slot your finger into his opening fucking his cock with your finger and plugging up the eggs so the pressure builds in his dick. mermaids lay hundreds of eggs and each one makes him shudder and pant and whine as it pushes out of him.
He's in a cold sweat as he bites and sucks on your skin his mind fried. he has to fuck you, he needs to cum in you and get you pregnant every fiber of his being is begging him to snap forward and claim you again and again. but his cock aches, he's cum so much today that he's dizzy with overstimulation. he needs to but he can't.
Maybe he'll just eat you out for a while while his cock takes a break. hopefully, the taste of his cum on your sweet cunt doesn't make him cum untouched.
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sophvilla Ā· 9 months ago
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Baby, is it gonna fit ?
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ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹† TXT SERIES ā‹† Ėšļ½”ā‹†
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Pairing: Bf! Soobin X Gf! Femreader
Synopsis: Soobin didn't know that he had a Size Kink at all, it all started Innocent but Deep down he Truly Knows that it's not Innocent at all.
Warning: Smut, MDNI, 18+, Size kink, Unprotected, Reader gets called ( Baby, Princess, My Love, Babygirl) etc.
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CHOI SOOBIN | ģµœģˆ˜ė¹ˆ
Soobin has a major size Kink....
It all started with how small and short you look beside his 6ā€™1 frame, he is twice as taller then you and to which he somehow felt proud about it, comparing how small your hand are in comparison to his, huge hands then,
How small you looked in his Gigantic Shirt as he smiled like fool watching you drown in his clothes.
He didnā€™t think that something this innocent will become something soā€¦..kinky,? But it actually did cause..
Whenever his cock was buried deep inside of your cunt all he can think of is how tightly youā€™re squeezing around his Length, watching how good youā€™re taking him with tears streaming down your face as you take inhuman thrust.
He watches as his cock disappear inside your that tight little hole that felt like a glove to cock, pounding inside your Sensitive pussy as you already cum for the second time, begging him that you canā€™t take it anymore to which he replies,
ā€œ Yess you can, my love, ..take all that Iā€™m giving youā€ as you dumbly nod at his words through your tears proving the fact how fucked out you are right now,
Continuing to abuse his cock inside your overstimulated pussy as it reaches your cervix making your eyes roll back at the stretch and pleasure you feel,
ā€œGod, you feel so good around meā€ Your boyfriend rasp out between his brutal pace of thrusts, You mumble out incoherent words between your moans of pleasure,
ā€œ huh ..uh ā€¦.keep going-gā€ you said in between your hiccups as you feel yourself reaching your third orgasm of the night
ā€œFuck, look at you right nowā€ He grins upon hearing your request and obliging to it immediately as his thrust turns more Deep and rhythmically harder into your cunt making a clapping sound of Skin Smacking against eachother, making you tremble at the newly set pace,
ā€œyou want to come, princess?ā€
ā€œY-yes, I- please---ā€
ā€œThen cum for me babygirl, cum on my cockā€ Soobin says out of breath as he cums at the same time filling you up with his cum but doesn't stop with his thrust as he continues to fuck his cum into your sensitive pussy making you clench around his cock in an extremely tight grip.
His hips started to give desperate thrust into you, as one of his hands pulls your body even more closer then it was and the other hand pulling your hips closer to his as He started to grind his hip back and forth to yours causing even more friction then ever,
"fucking hell baby, you feel so fucking good." He grunts out, Head falling back as His hand let go of your hip and wrapping his hand around your delicate neck and start to fuck you even harder, in his head all he can think of how Fucking small you are compared to him, How he can easily break you, or How your small cunt is taking his huge cock,
Breaking away from his Trail of thought His eyes focus on yours at how you look on the verge of passing out,
Soobin's constant thrust of his hip inside you, making you too fucked out to even move from the mix of pain & pleasure that your receiving, all you can do is moan and scream at how good you feel right now,
With each thrust, you quite literally Screamed. Seems like you were too sensitive at this point. The sensation of him repeatedly slamming his hips against you turned you into a sobbing mess,
And when his climax exploded for the fourth time within you with one last powerful thrust, his hot cum spurting hard, stuffing you to the brim and painting your womb whiteā€” you clawed at him, tugged him closer to your breasts as a mix of scream and moan of his name escaped your lips, trembling at the depth to which he was burying himself inside you.
You were panting, totally spent, sensing the familiar way of his cum trickling down your thighs as Soobin lays inside of you, not pulling out immediately as his cock continues to breed his cum inside of your womb as Soobin gazes down to your flushed goddess like face,
" When did I get so lucky" Soobin mumbles while looking at your sleepy smile that you give him as you drift into slumber
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mommyownsmee Ā· 1 month ago
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About Ovulation and Breeding Kink
It's cruel, really.
This body, mineā€”so strong, so commanding, so utterly bent to my will-betrays me for a few days each month.
My control slips, replaced by this primal ache, this animal need to bury my fingers in soft flesh and pull cries from a throat that knows only how to obey.
I ovulate, and the world becomes a torture chamber. Every scent, every thought, every image is her-imaginary, of course, because she's not here. No submissive, no pliant little thing to ruin until she's nothing but a puddle of yes, Mommy and please, Mommy and don't stop, Mommy.
I press my thighs together, useless. My hands are empty when they should be gripping her hips, guiding her onto me, showing her how perfectly she fits against the heat of my skin. My teeth ache to mark her, my nails to carve a map into herā€”territory, mine, claimed forever.
But there's no one to pin down, no one to fuck until she can't remember her name, no one to whimper "thank you" when I let her come.
It's pathetic, really. A Domme with no one to dominate, writhing in her own unsated desire. Ovulation is a sick joke. Nature, taunting me for not having a leash to tug, a toy to break, a good girl to destroy until she forgets how to breathe without permission.
Itā€™s so maddening, this ache.
My body really betrays me, ovulation clawing at my control, filling my head with feral, obscene need. The kind of need that turns my mind into a constant reel of herā€”my submissive, my perfect little bunnyā€”on her knees, begging me to take her, to ruin her.
I can almost see it, the way sheā€™d look up at me with wide, needy eyes, knowing exactly what Iā€™d do to her. Knowing she doesnā€™t get a choice. Sheā€™s mine. Her body, her mind, her pleasureā€”every part of her belongs to me. And Iā€™d take it. Oh, Iā€™d take it all.
Iā€™d start slow, teasing her, watching her squirm, her thighs slick and trembling as she tries to hold still for me. Iā€™d pin her wrists above her head, my [strap] cock grinding against her soaking cunt, not giving her what she wants just yet. Sheā€™d whimper, her lips parting to beg, and Iā€™d shush her with a smirk, whispering how sheā€™ll take every inch of me when Iā€™m ready.
And when I finally slide into her, stretching her open, her moan would be a symphony, echoing through the room. Iā€™d fuck her deep, my hips meeting hers with every thrust, filling her over and over until sheā€™s a mess beneath me, tears streaking her pretty face as she sobs for more. My hands would grip her hips, pulling her closer, harder, until her body molds to me, made for me, made to take everything I give her.
Iā€™d fill her pretty little cunt with my cumā€”so much of it sheā€™d swear itā€™s real. Thick, hot, spilling out of her as I keep thrusting, pushing it deeper, watching her writhe as she feels it drip down her thighs.
Iā€™d watch her walk naked through the house, her face burning with the humiliation of knowing sheā€™s still leaking me, that no matter where she goes, sheā€™s mine, marked and claimed. To let my cum run down her legs, painting her in evidence of who owns her. Iā€™d follow her, watching the way her thighs quiver, the way her cunt clenches and leaks, desperate for me to fill her again.
In the kitchen, Iā€™d bend her over the counter, her breasts pressing against the cold surface as I take her from behind. My cock driving into her soaked cunt, her moans turning to screams as I grip her hair and pull her back onto me, harder, deeper. Sheā€™d cry out my name, her voice breaking as she begs for more, her body shaking with the force of my thrusts.
And then, when sheā€™s nothing but a trembling, fucked-out mess, Iā€™d make her kneel. Her lips would part, her tongue flicking out to taste me as I guide my cock into her mouth. Iā€™d thrust slowly at first, savoring the way her lips stretch around me, her throat swallowing me down. But I wouldnā€™t stay gentle. Not when sheā€™s so eager, so desperate to please. Iā€™d fuck her mouth until sheā€™s choking, tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes glazed with submission as she takes it all.
When Iā€™m done, Iā€™d throw her back onto the bed, her body pliant, her mind wrecked. But I wouldnā€™t stop. Iā€™d push my cock inside her again, deep and unrelenting, filling her until her cries are incoherent, until sheā€™s shaking and pleading and losing herself completely to me. Iā€™d tell her Iā€™m breeding her, that every time I fuck her, Iā€™m filling her up so deeply sheā€™ll swear she feels it in her womb.
Sheā€™d cling to me, her nails scratching at my back, her voice breaking as she screams, ā€œPlease, Mommy, donā€™t stop! I need it, I need you!ā€ And Iā€™d give it to her, over and over, filling her again and again until her stomach feels heavy with me, until sheā€™s convinced her body is mine to claim, to use, to own.
Iā€™d take her to the brink of insanity, fucking her until all she knows is me. My cock, my cum, my voice commanding her. Sheā€™d beg to be filled again, tears streaming down her face as she sobs that she feels empty without me inside her. That sheā€™s useless without my cock, without my cum dripping from her.
And Iā€™d keep going. Because sheā€™s mine. Her body, her mind, her soulā€”all of it belongs to me. And Iā€™d make sure she never forgets it.
But instead, Iā€™m here. Alone. Writhing in my own desperation, the fantasies burning so brightly they almost feel real. I am feral and furious, and wonder how long it will take until the craving fades. Until I can look at my bed and not feel the phantom weight of her body bent to my will.
Ovulation is a cruel jokeā€”a reminder that I donā€™t have her here beneath me, crying for me, begging for me. A reminder of the leash I donā€™t get to tug. The perfect submissive I donā€™t get to fuck senseless until sheā€™s mine in every way.
And Iā€™m left to ache, my body burning with a need that only she could satisfy. My hands are empty. My bed is cold. And my fantasies are all I have.
I could cry. But thatā€˜s not my role.
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slut4thebroken Ā· 4 months ago
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Claiming Victory
ā”€ā”€ ā‹†ā‹…ā˜†ā‹…ā‹† ā”€ā”€ ā‹†ā‹…ā˜†ā‹…ā‹† ā”€ā”€ ā‹†ā‹…ā˜†ā‹…ā‹† ā”€ā”€
Pairing | Scarecrow x vigilante!reader
Summary | An encounter with the infamous Scarecrow doesnā€™t go the way you expected.
Warnings | non con, smut, dry humping, degradation, rape threats (mentioned once), dacryphilia, fear toxin, groping, idk lol.
Words | 1.6 k
Notes | Lmaooo I almost didnā€™t think I was going to finish this by October 1st šŸ™ˆ
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
Kinktober | day 1: dry humping
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He stalked toward you slowly, savoring the sight of you screaming and staggering away from him, barely able to keep yourself on your feet. He ached to know what you were seeing, but just watching you like this was enough to satisfy him for now. When you tripped over your own feet and landed on your butt, he stopped and stared down at you through the mask, watching as you still tried to get away from him. Though now you were looking around yourself too, not just at him. With a sigh, he quickly walked forward, then nudged you onto your back with his foot and straddled your thighs, keeping you pinned in place.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s disappointing how easily you break.ā€ He said calmly. You didnā€™t respond, as he expected, but when your screams turned into violent sobs, he sighed again. ā€œI thought youā€™d have more fight in you.ā€ His hand shot out to grab your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. He smiled when you brought your hands up to claw at his arm, trying to pull it away.Ā 
ā€œShould I see what the rest of this pretty face looks like?ā€ He smirked, using his other hand to trace over the edge of your mask near your temple. Leaning down over you, he watched as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to hide from whatever beautiful horrors you were being forced to see. But that only seemed to make things worse. Your crying intensified, echoing throughout the empty building, and you started writhing, trying to find an escape.Ā 
When your hips bucked, he had to move his hand from your mask to the floor to stabilize himself. He let out a sharp breath as he remained leaning over you, the position making it easier for you to rub against his growing bulge.Ā 
Tears streamed down your face and you started mumbling incoherent pleas. His hand moved from your face to your neck and he squeezed tightlyā€” based on your reaction, his toxin must have made this action seem far worse than it actually was.Ā 
He tilted his head as he watched you with morbid fascination. You looked so beautiful like this.Ā 
Your hands started clawing at his face now, trying to push him away or hurt him enough to make him get off of you, but he just huffed and put both of your arms by your sides, under his legs. He leaned back over you and started subtly rocking his hips.Ā 
ā€œIsnā€™t it so much better when you donā€™t fight?ā€ He cooed, his voice sounding far from comforting. ā€œAlways trying to be so strongā€¦ so brave.ā€ He hummed thoughtfully as he placed a firm hand on your waist.Ā 
ā€œYou think youā€™re untouchable, that no one could ever possibly beat youā€¦ā€ Slowly dragging his hand up your side, he watched your reaction carefully and continued, ā€œYet here you are... wearing this skin tight suit,ā€ his hand finally reached your breast and he squeezed roughly, making you cry harder, ā€œpinned down by little olā€™ meā€¦ and not untouchable at all.ā€ He smirked, groping you even harder as his hips sped up.Ā 
ā€œHow about we see what weā€™re working with?ā€ He asked rhetorically. You barely reacted when he grabbed the zipper at the base of your neck, slowly pulling it down to your navel. ā€œOh wowā€¦ā€ He grinned, pushing your suit open to expose your bra. ā€œLet's get this out of the way though.ā€ Grabbing the middle of your bra, he tore it in half easily, then pushed it open so he was finally able to see you. He couldnā€™t help the low groan that slipped out.Ā 
ā€œLook at you.ā€ He cooed, placing his hands on your stomach and snaking them up until he could grab your tits. You sobbed louder, but your voice was becoming hoarse from all of the screaming and crying. ā€œDo all of the villains you fight get to pin you down and grope you? Or am I just special.ā€ He chuckled, knowing it was the latter.Ā 
You started thrashing under him again, trying to escape him or whatever you were seeing. He removed his hands and smirked when he watched the way your tits moved.Ā 
ā€œYou can fight a little harderā€¦ Come on.ā€ He encouraged teasingly. When your body kept writhing and your hips kept bucking, he cursed under his breath, savoring the feeling of you rubbing against his bulge. ā€œThatā€™s it. Fight a little harder and maybe youā€™ll actually do some damage.ā€ He laughed quietly.Ā 
After another moment, he reached for your tits again, but focused on your nipples this time. You cried loudly when he pinched and pulled, rolling them between his fingers in a way that wouldnā€™t feel good even if his toxin wasnā€™t in your system. Based on your screams, he knew he was doing a good job, but you were starting to get just a little too loud for his liking.Ā 
He paused and leaned back up, then quickly removed his tie. Your cry was cut off by him shoving the fabric in your mouth, effectively muffling your sounds. He didnā€™t bother tying it around your head since you werenā€™t cognizant enough to even realize what was actually happening.Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s a good girl. Keep crying for me, but stay nice and quiet.ā€ He cooed as he leaned back over you again, hovering a few inches above your face. His hips started rocking again, but his movements were faster and more eager. Moving his hands back to your tits, he resumed groping you, making you whine.Ā 
ā€œYou like this, donā€™t you?ā€ He chuckled, carefully studying your expression. ā€œFinally getting put in your placeā€¦ being humped and groped on the floor, the way a little whore deserves.ā€ All you could do was cryā€” your body was barely even struggling underneath him now, just squirming weakly.Ā 
ā€œYou know, I think I deserve a reward for being the first villain to actually vanquish you.ā€ He said with a cruel smirk, reaching for your mask again. You didnā€™t even react when he slowly removed it from your face. ā€œOh, look at youā€¦ā€ He cooed, studying your face intently. He already knew you were beautiful, but seeing your entire faceā€¦ it was even better than he thought. His gaze shifted between your eyes and your lips hungrily, getting worked up by the feeling of you squirming under him and the sound of your pitiful sobs. Then he shifted his focus down to your neck. At the sight of your smooth skin, completely untouched and untaintedā€¦ he growled low in his throat and quickly removed his mask.Ā 
ā€œI think Iā€™ll leave you with some reminders of what happened tonight...ā€ He said, sounding almost smug, then leaned down to start kissing your neck. His hips were still rutting incessantly and he savored your muffled whimpers and cries as he sucked the skin into his mouth, leaving as many marks as he could.Ā 
His cock was practically throbbing in his pants by now, begging to be released, but he kept his focus on you. He trailed kisses down your chest, still covering your pretty skin with evidence of his assault, then took your nipple in his mouth. You let out a muffled sob that turned into a scream when he suddenly bit down on the hardened bud. He chuckled softly against you and kissed his way across your chest to give your other nipple the same treatment.Ā 
Your thrashing had died down significantly, as had your sounds. Now you were mostly just sobbing weakly and the sound was enough to send him barrelling toward his orgasm. He moved up so his lips brushed your ear, his hips still humping you frantically. ā€œNext time Iā€™m going to fuck you.ā€ He whispered, moaning quietly at the thought. ā€œSorryā€¦ rape you.ā€ He chuckled, not really knowing or caring if you were able to hear his promise with his toxin still in your system.
Jonathan leaned back so he was hovering over your face and took a moment to admire you. There was a light sheen of sweat on your forehead, your brows were scrunched together and your eyes squeezed tight. The tear tracks covering your cheeks were what finally sent him over the edge.Ā 
Feeling his balls tighten up, he quickly lifted himself back up to open his pants and take out his cock. He shuffled forward over your body a little and stroked his length rapidly, then hot come was landing on your chest, covering your tits and even getting on your suit. He yanked his tie out of your mouth and moved up a little more to get the last few ropes of come on your face.Ā 
With a satisfied grunt, he sat back on your stomach and caught his breath, listening to your hoarse, broken sobs as you thrashed under him, probably having a hard time breathing under his weight. He sighed and reached for your neck, squeezing as hard as he could while pushing on your windpipe. Your mouth opened and you were gasping for air, desperately trying to take in oxygen as your thrashing increased tenfold until finally it all stopped and you went limp beneath him.Ā 
While you were knocked out, he tucked his cock back in his pants, then put his mask back on and pocketed his tie that was slightly damp with your saliva. He left your suit unzipped and your mask on the ground, satisfied that youā€™d know, or at least have an idea of exactly what he did. Then he got up and walked out, leaving you in the abandoned warehouse.Ā 
He considered taking you, after all, he deserved a trophy for being the first villain to ever conquer youā€¦ But the chase was the best part, so he let you continue to roam free for now, building up anticipation for the next time youā€™d encounter him.Ā 
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madebycloud Ā· 10 days ago
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What Would I Do Without You?
jinx/powder x reader ā€” š¦ššš¬š­šžš«š„š¢š¬š­
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summary: you've been through hell and back with jinx, and despite it all, you couldn't leave her behind. (requested by anons) warnings/themes: HEAVY ANGST, character death (reader), blood, hurt no comfort harhar words: 2.6k notes: first time writing something so angsty like this haha i hope this is angsty enough... (this takes place when jinx rescued isha in prison) a repost cz tumblr is shti!
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You could run.
You could run right now, escape with Isha and Sevika.
But-
How can you? You can't just leave Jinx aloneā€”not now. Not after everything. Not when she's facing off against this monster.
Why didn't you listen?
Why did you have to play the hero?
Why, why, did you choose to stay?
ā€œWhat are you doing?!ā€ Jinx screams.
And that's the last thing you hear before you face off against the beast, watching as it launches itself at you-
At the last minute, you duck.
Too slow.
Too slow and too late.
In one quick motion, the beast tears into you.
It claws straight at your stomach-
You can feel the air leave your lungs.
You hit the ground.
Blood blossoms on your shirt.
Butā€¦ it worked. The beast backed away. It fled.
You managed to scare it. You've saved Jinx. You've protected her. This is a victory.
Yet-
Why do you hurt so badly?
You look down, and your stomach is-
Oh.
Oh no...
Everything is red.
There's blood. There's blood everywhere.
Your blood.
You hear the sound of running footsteps. ā€œNO!ā€
It's her voice.
ā€œPLEASE, NO!ā€ Jinx kneels next to you.
Your mind goes hazy, clouded by pain.
Arms grab you and move you into a sitting position. She's holding you. ā€œPlease, please,ā€ she's sobbing as she puts pressure on the wound. ā€œYou're going to be okay. You're going to be fine.ā€ You know that's a lie.
You cough. Red bubbles on your lips and slides down your chin.
ā€œNo, no, you're okay,ā€ she repeats. ā€œDon't go,ā€ she sobs. ā€œDon't you dare go. Look at me. Look at me.ā€ She grabs your face, trying to angle your face up towards hers. ā€œPlease, stay with me. Stay. With. Me."
You feel so tired. You want to sleep.
But she needs you to stay here.
ā€œSevika!ā€ she screams into nothingness, holding you tighter. ā€œI need help, please come over here!ā€
The pain is still there, but the adrenaline is starting to wear off.
Your body hurts. Your eyelids flutter, but you force yourself to focus on her face.
She's crying. Her whole body is shaking. She's a wreck, but even like this, she's the most breathtaking you've ever seen.
You think that if you were to die, you'd want the last thing you ever saw to be her face.
She's still holding your head as she screams for help. ā€œSOMEBODYā€”SOMEBODY PLEASE GET OVER HERE!ā€
Your body is getting cold. You can hear your pulse, thump, thump, thump, thump, in your head.
There's an arm around your back, supporting you as you slowly slump against her. Your head rests on her chest, and you can hear her heart beating loudly.
ā€œI'm scared,ā€ she whimpers. ā€œI'm so scared.ā€
She is scared.
She's scared that she'll never taste your lips, never feel your breath on her neck.
She's scared that she'll never again feel your fingers on her hip, or your hands on her waist, or your face in her hair.
She's scared that you'll never hold her close, or tease her, or say her name in a way that makes her heart flutter.
She's scared that this is her last moment with you.
ā€œJinx.ā€ You call her name one last time, her heart breaking when she hears how labored your voice is. It sounds so unlike you.
ā€œNo, no, don't say my name like that,ā€ she begs. ā€œDon't say my name like thatā€”it can't be. Please, it can't be.ā€
She's crying, her tears fall onto your face. You taste saline and sweat and sadness.
You look into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes, full of tears. The eyes that made your heart pound faster and faster whenever you met her gaze.
You think of her face, her laugh, her smile. You think of her hand in yours and the way she looks in the light of dawn. You try to remember her smell, her voice, her skin.
You know this is probably the last time you'll ever be this close to her.
You love her so much.
You try to reach up and touch her face, to wipe away her tears. Your muscles protest and scream at the movement. But you try, anyway.
She catches your hand, presses it against her cheek. Her skin is warm and soft, and you memorize the feeling of it. You hope you'll always remember how her face feels.
ā€œI love you,ā€ you manage to say.
Her lower lip trembles. ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œI love you.ā€
ā€œNo, no, noā€¦ don't say that,ā€ she cries. ā€œDon't say that. You're staying right here. You aren't going anywhere.ā€
She can't let you go. Not like this. Not after she just got you. Not after being so close to a life together. Not after finding someone who loves her so much.
You'd give anything for a few more minutes together. An hour, a day, a week.
You want to stay with her.Ā 
You want to stay and be with her and see her grow into the woman you know she'll be.Ā You want to watch those eyes light up at a joke and see her smile.Ā You want to sit by her side as she laughs and talk to her for hours.Ā You want to hold her, for as long as you can, and tell her you love her.
You try to muster a smile. ā€œIt's okay,ā€ you whisper. ā€œI'm here, right now. I'mā€¦ I'm not going anywhere,ā€ you lie.
She nods. She tries to wipe away her tears.
ā€œPlease don't cry. You're too pretty to cry.ā€
She scoffs as she smiles through her tears. You love her like this. Even just hearing her scoff, even if she's upset, makes you happy.Ā 
ā€œI'm a mess,ā€ she says. ā€œI'm a crying, snotty mess.ā€
ā€œI'll love you anyway.ā€Ā 
ā€œDon't say that,ā€ she pleads. ā€œDon't say that, please.ā€
ā€œWhy?ā€
Her voice breaks. ā€œIf you keep saying things like that, I'm not going to be strong enough to let you go.ā€
ā€œYou won't have to.ā€
ā€œDon't say that either,ā€ she whispers. ā€œDon't make promises you can't keep.ā€
ā€œI'm right here.ā€ You try to speak louder. ā€œI'm not going anywhere.ā€
ā€œStop. You don't know that.ā€
And you don't. But you want to believe it. Oh, god, if anything, you want to be right.
You reach up again, brush the hair from her face. You try to be gentle so she won't notice how much it's hurting you to move at all.
ā€œPlease tell me a story,ā€ you breathe. ā€œPlease. I want to hear your voice.ā€
ā€œWhat do you want me to say?ā€
ā€œAnythingā€¦ anything at all.ā€
She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and bites her lip in thought. ā€œOkay,ā€ she says after a moment. ā€œIā€¦ I have an idea. Do you want to hear it? It's a story, ifā€”if that's okay.ā€
You slowly nod and take her hand. She's shaking so hard. You run your thumb over her knuckles.Ā 
ā€œWhen I was a little girl,ā€ she starts quietly. ā€œI used to watch the stars. They were so prettyā€¦ I'd stay up past my bedtime, just sitting by the window and trying to find the brightest ones in the sky. I always looked for that one star, and I knew I could find it no matter what time it was. I know it's sillyā€¦ā€
It doesn't feel silly to you. You like that she's talking, and even if it's a dumb story, just hearing her is making you feel better.Ā 
ā€œIā€”I wanted to know if there were worlds up there. I didn't know about planets and stars yet, so I'd sit there in my room and imagine all these worlds, full of people who had entire lives I couldn't dream of.ā€
Closing your eyes, you focus on the sound of her voice.
This is the last time you'll get to hear her talk. The last time you'll get to see her. The last time you'll get to hear her voice. The last time you'll feel her touch. The last time you'll get to be with her.
You smile.
Despite the pain.
You smile.
Even as things start to grow dark.
You smile.
Because even though it won't be for much longer, you know she's still out there.
And she will find her way through this, because you know she can.
Even without you.
ā€œWhenever I couldn't fall asleep,ā€ she continues, ā€œI'd look at the stars and imagine what it was like to live there and what people there were like. I liked to think people on the other worlds would look up and see the same stars and wonder the same things, just like I was. I wanted to see those stars and know that, even if I was by myself in my room, I wasn't really alone.ā€
ā€œI wanted to know what it was like to explore those other worlds,ā€ Jinx murmurs. ā€œWhat it was like to be one of those people, with real adventures and fun and families. No rules, justā€¦ freedom.ā€
She keeps talking and talking and talking and-
She notices your hands. Cold. No.
Her hands are shaking, but she reaches out. She reaches for your cheek, caressing it as her fingers tremble. Her hand trembles, and she can't focus on anything but the fact that she's touching your skin, that she's touching you-
She feels the blood on her fingers, trickling down her hand, but she pushes that out of her mind. She doesn't care. You're the most important thing. Always.
She watches your chest, your stomach, waiting for a twitch, a breath, anything to show her that you're still here. That her worst nightmare isn't happening right in front of her eyes.
But there's nothing.
She presses her ear to your chest. Come on, she thinks desperately. Come on, please.
Silence.
Her fingers fumble to find your pulse on your neck.
Nothing.
Her world collapses around her.
No.
No, not like this.
Tears blur her vision. She blinks them away, trying to fight off the tears so she can see you. Can't see you. She doesn't want to. She can't. Not now.
One minute.
Just one more minute, that's all.
Just a few more seconds.
Please.
There's a pressure growing in her chest. It's so tight, it's hard to breathe. She can't breathe. Why can't she breathe? She needs to breathe. She needs to breathe, she needs to breathe, she can't stop crying, she can't stop because you're-
No, no, no. Don't think it, don't think it, don't think it-
ā€œHey, c'mon,ā€ she says. ā€œThis isn't funny. Wake up.ā€ She grabs your shoulders, shaking you. ā€œWake. Up.ā€
You're not moving. You're not talking. You're just-
Cold, limp. Nothing's different.
Please, not like this.
ā€œYou can't do this.ā€
Please.
ā€œYou have to wake up.ā€
Please!
ā€œYou have to wake up.ā€
Please, please, please, please.
ā€œYou don't justā€”you don't just get to do this to me!ā€
This isn't real.
It can't be real.
She closes her eyes.
She reopens them, looking down at your body.
It's real.
ā€œPlease wake up! I needā€”I need you, please.ā€
She's begging you, to the wind, to the moon, to the stars, that maybe if she pleaded hard enough, hard enough to the whole universe itself, maybe fate would be on her side just this once.
But fate was never on her side.
Life did this to her, it took everything she had and loved and was precious, it took away the only person she knew loved her. Life wasn't good, it was cruel and cold and harsh, and it was taking away everything she had. It was taking everything.
She hates this.
She hates what life was doing to her, what it had done to her. She wants to scream and pull her hair out. She wants to burn the world down and scream at the top of her lungs, at life, at the whole universe, begging it to bring you back.
Just. Bring. You. Back.
How many times had she watched you laugh, watched you smile, and done something as simple as breathing? How often had she watched you speak and talk and joke about something?
How many times had she told you she loved you, how many hours had you lost track of just the two of you talking? How many good moments had the two of you had that she would never be able to experience again?
It had been taken away from her.
You'd never laugh or smile again, that beautiful voice of yours is only a memory now.
And it hurts.
It hurts so much to think about how she's never going to hear your voice. How she's never going to see you walking around the hideout again. She'll never be able to see the smile you give every time she says something stupid.
She'll never be able to hold your hands, to kiss you, to lay her head on your lap. She'll never get to hear you laugh or feel your hands on hers.
She loved you. Every piece of you.
Every smile.
Every laugh.
Every word.
Every tear.
Every kiss.
Every touch.
Every moment.
Every single time.
Every single time you were there for her.
Every single time that you'd given her the best hugs when she'd cried on your shoulder.
Every single time the two of you slept on a small couch just so she could feel safe.
Every single time you'd hold her in your arms.
Every single time you talked her out of a bad mood.
She'll never get to have those again.
She'll never get to experience all of those wonderful, beautiful things again.
And she wants to do it one more time.
One more time to hear you laugh. One more time to feel you put your arms around her. One more time, she wants you to tell her everything is going to be alright. To take her face in your hands, look into her eyes, and say that.
Just one more.
Because what would she do without you?
How would she go on living without you when you were the person who had kept her going for months?
For the longest time, you were the one person that she trusted. The one person that she felt safe with.
Without that, what was the point?
She can still remember the first time she met you. She can still remember the butterflies in her stomach each time she saw you, the way her heart raced whenever you spoke to her. She can still remember that first, awkward kiss, how you held her close in your arms afterwards and didn't let go.
She can still remember the first time the two of you had said, ā€œI love you.ā€
It was so hard for her to say it because she hadn't felt loved in a long time. And she's nervous, she's scared. But you spoke first, you pulled her close.
It was a whisper, a quiet ā€œI love youā€ spoken in her ear. And then she started crying, she turned and buried herself in your arms.
I love you.
She'll never hear those words again.
But she can still remember what you sounded like.
That had to be enough.
That has to be enough.
Those three words have to be enough for her.
They have to be.
But they weren't.
Because now, you are gone.
ā€œI love you too,ā€ she murmurs. ā€œSo much-ā€
But there's no one to hear it.
She closes her eyes again, letting the tears roll down her face.
This is what love is, she thinks.
This is what loving someone does to you.
She'd never hated something so much in her life.
ā€œHow am I supposed to live without you?ā€
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notes: forgot that singed is literally right thereā€¦ (might write pt2)
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347 notes Ā· View notes
m-ilkiee Ā· 6 months ago
Text
Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa
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Chapter 2: Shots Fired
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series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now youā€™re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.
chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesnā€™t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.
cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, religious guilt, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, implied domestic abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, manipulation, gaslighting, mind break, psychological torture, use of firearms
r-18+ (not suitable for 17 and under)
wc: 11.6k
[masterlist] [chapter 1] [chapter 3] [taglist]
a/n: likes are nice, comments and reblogs with comments are superior, anons are also superior too and would make me update faster cause it means people like what i write. this chapter takes an entirely different turn from the old story, some scenes are similar but the context is different. i host polls after this so stay tuned. Edit 02/11/2024: this chapter's end has been edited and changed. I've indicated the edited point, so that you could skip other parts to read it. Thank you.
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Ā YOU havenā€™t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.
Itā€™s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself.
Not to mention, studying until the words are bleary and just looking at a book hurts your eyes.
But then, in all your dreams, everything youā€™ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikeyā€™s car waiting for Emma.
Things take a different turn. Heā€™s the one getting out of the car to meet you. Itā€™s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. You try to reject him, try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped. This time, heā€™s not using his hands. Heā€™s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of the thing you hold so dear while you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.
You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.
The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. Youā€™re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was Godā€™s divine judgement for your grievous sin. Youā€™ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.
No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. Heā€™s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.
You donā€™t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. Itā€™s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.
Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.
You were so, so tired-
ā€œHello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?ā€ A voice snapped at you.
Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older ladyā€™s order -the very thing youā€™ve been trying to avoid all day long. ā€œNo, not at all Ms-ā€ you started to explain. ā€œ-I was just ā€¦ what was your order aga-ā€
You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! ā€œSo you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?ā€ She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. ā€œI need to speak to your manager. NOW!ā€
You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard any of this, he was definitely going to fire you. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next sessionā€™s tuition.
ā€œNo mam!ā€ you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. ā€œTh-thereā€™s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and Iā€™ll-ā€ you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. ā€œ- Iā€™ll pay for your meal! On me-ā€
ā€œSo youā€™re trying to imply Iā€™m poor?ā€ She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. ā€œYou disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!ā€
You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologised to her.
ā€œWhat is going on here?ā€
You winced at the sound of your managerā€™s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. ā€œIs there something wrong Ms.?ā€ He asked the lady. ā€œWhat happened?ā€
ā€œThis little wretch!ā€ She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. ā€œShe was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!ā€
Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying is out of the question. ā€œI did not call you anything! Thatā€™s a lie-ā€
ā€œYou be quiet!ā€ Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologising profusely for your so called rude behaviour. ā€œI promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.ā€
You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. ā€œWell, you better get rid of her!ā€ She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. ā€œOr youā€™ll lose me as a patron.ā€
ā€œOf course mam.ā€ He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. ā€œYou, come with me.ā€
You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the managerā€™s office.
Your skin crawled as you felt his penetrating gaze on you, as if judging you. ā€œYou know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders youā€™ve messed up?ā€
You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. ā€œI only let you stay here because you said you were desperate for a job. But apparently, youā€™re not even bothered enough to keep it.ā€ He spat out. ā€œUnfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.ā€
ā€œBut s-ā€
ā€œI said youā€™re FIRED. GET OUT.ā€
You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-managerā€™s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.
No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.
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Ā Ā IZANA knows it's creepy to be waiting for Emma just outside her college, but it's not like he has a choice when she keeps ignoring any method he uses to contact her.
Mindlessly, he fiddled with his lighter with his back on the wall of the English department building and an unlit cigarette between his lips. Purple eyes scanned the people leaving the building one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. His hopes rose with each blond he saw, only for him to deflate when he realised they weren't her.
A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didnā€™t want to stand around and gape, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.
His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldnā€™t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasnā€™t been this angry at him before. Usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes sheā€™s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.
All because of you.
Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought her gambling friends into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emmaā€™s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain. Heā€™s not the best person to be around, with how fucked over he was by life until Shinichiro gave him purpose but he loved his sister a lot and everything he did was to protect her. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma and heā€™d do anything to protect his humanity.
Only to watch it slip through his fingers.
First it was Mikeyā€™s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emmaā€™s life. Izana didnā€™t like him one bit- didnā€™t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didnā€™t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasnā€™t interested in a relationship yet.
The only reason Ken wasnā€™t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.
Now it is you, taking the space in her life that belonged to him and Mikey. Youā€™re pushing both of them out of the equation, threatening their position in their sisterā€™s life and everything they know.
Izana wonders how someone so insignificant was so important to Emma that she was willing to cut communications with her own brothers. It baffles him beyond understanding and at the same time enrages him that she could trust you so easily. That she was willing to turn against him in your name.
He took more puffs, skimming throughout the campus for any sight of her. It didnā€™t matter how he felt about it, as Kisaki had convinced him to ask Emma and you to go shopping, just to get back into Emma's good graces again. Apparently doing a nice gesture publicly for you would convince their sister to give them another chance again.
Especially because Izana had been the biggest opposition to their friendship.
ā€œBut Mikey was a little shit about them too.ā€ he grumbles underneath his breath, cigarette in hand. ā€œWhy do I have to be the one to apologise? And why did Mikey get an out while Iā€™m doing all the heavy lift-ā€
His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind and stood up straight, tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.
Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girlā€™s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly and earning a shocked gasp escaped her lips.
ā€œGet off me - Izana?ā€
Her free hand was fast to hit him, but her head was faster in turning around, only to recognize it was just Izana. Her hand stopped inches away from the smirking maleā€™s face, the tension leaving her body and relief taking its place. It doesnā€™t last long, though as irritation suddenly crawls on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. ā€œWhat the hell? Iā€™ve told you to stop doing that.ā€ she hissed at him.
A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emmaā€™s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.
ā€œWere you scared?ā€ He teased, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, despite the glare she gave him in response. ā€œYou know no one would dare touch you.ā€
ā€œGet off me. Your breath stinks like nicotine, I thought you said you quit smoking that shit.ā€
Ignoring Emmaā€™s last question, he decided to change the topic. ā€œYour lapdog isn't here with you?ā€ he asked. Usually, you would be hovering behind her like a damn pest, so you not being around her was rather strange.Ā 
Emma is quick to shove him off lightly, putting some distance between the two of them, clearly still mad at him. "(Name)'s not feeling well, so she didn't come to class today. I'm on my way to get her medicine."
Oh, that's a surprise.
But with you out of the way, Izana could finally have Emma all to himself for today and hang out with his beloved sister. Maybe even make up for the party thing without apologising to you. Without you here, itā€™s likely Emma isnā€™t as mad at the whole situation and is playing it up to make you feel like you have someone on your side.
He knows youā€™re not going to protest if Emma says sheā€™s in talking terms with her brothers again. Itā€™s a win-win situation and he doesnā€™t have to grovel or ask for forgiveness for some joke that went wrong.
"So that means we can hang out?"
"Excuse me?"
"You don't have to keep pretending you're still mad at me now that she isn't here." He spews the 'she' with so much venom it could kill, before switching up with a sick grin, his hand stretched out. "We can go to Vivienne Westwood and get that Saturn necklace you like, what do you say?"
His words hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes burning holes into his face as her lips curled into a sick sneer.
ā€œAre you insane?ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œDonā€™t ā€˜what?ā€™ me Izana! I just told you (name)'s ill and you're asking me to go with you to shop at Vivienne westwood? Are you nuts?ā€
Emmaā€™s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. Izana kept his composure, despite his bubbling irritation beneath the surface of his skin, with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ā€˜Sheā€™s just being emotionalā€™ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ā€˜Just take it easy with herā€™
ā€œOh come on, should I care about her-"
"You should be begging her to forgive you for what you did to her that night!"
"You can't still be mad at me for that shit that happened two weeks ago. And besides, it's not my fault she couldn't take a jokeā€ his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth, digging his own grave. ā€œI didnā€™t know your friend was that sensitive-ā€
ā€œAre you listening to the bullshit coming from your mouth?ā€ Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. ā€œIs that what you think a joke sounds like?ā€
ā€œCalm the fuck dow-ā€
ā€œNo wonder youā€™re fucking single, youā€™re such a piece of shit to anyone that isnā€™t Shinichiro!ā€ Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. ā€œHow does anyone even stand you for so long? Youā€™re unbearable!ā€
ā€œExcuse m-ā€
He doesnā€™t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emmaā€™s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.
ā€œYouā€™re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you arenā€™t my fucking brother, I canā€™t imagine being anything like you!ā€
The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.
It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat.Ā 
ā€œI-I-i" she starts to stutter. Itā€™s obvious that she can recognize what she had just said as he blankly stared at her. "I didn't mean i-ā€
He doesnā€™t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking away as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression. Emma followed behind, instantly, shouting his name at the top of her lungs followed with strings of apologies.
ā€œIzana, wait please-ā€ she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.
Izana zoomed away, turning Emmaā€™s cries into background noise, her words repeating in his head.
ā€œI didnā€™t mean it! Iā€™M SORRY-ā€
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YOU don't know which was worse, the feeling of helplessness that came with the reality of your life crashing before your very eyes or the splitting headache you've developed after crying in your room for a week straight. Laying on your bed all day, huddled up in a blanket and sobbing uncontrollably was unhealthy, but it was all you found the strength to do these days.Ā 
In all your years of being alive, you've never felt this pathetic. Not when you would be pushed outside in the pouring rain if you made a mistake in making dinner, or had been beaten with a belt in front of Yuzhua and Hakkai because you failed your catechism test. You could protect yourself from your brothers when they got violent. You could run and hide when your dad was really angry and wanted to take it out on you.
Unfortunately, no one told you what to do when your life is falling apart.
Ever since that day, you couldn't find the strength to go to class or do anything for that matter. It was like your entire energy was sucked out of you, leaving your body an empty husk with nothing left to give.Ā 
You only have yourself to blame.
You drag the blankets closer to your body, sniffling a bit. The worst part of all of this is that after this month, if you donā€™t find a job that pays you quickly, you are going to be broke. Itā€™s times like this that makes you regret leaving your family. You know itā€™s wishful thinking, but you wonder if you would be forgiven assuming you return home in tears and repentant of your sin of disobedience like the prodigal son in the bible. Life is too hard to live in the outside world without the help and guidance of a parent. You miss your old life, with your own bed and guaranteed food, as long as you did as you were told. You miss how sometimes your parents took you and your siblings to eat out after church.
You miss your mother. You want to go back to her. Life is hard, and dealing with being jobless with nowhere to turn to is harder. You could ask Emma, but sheā€™s already taking care of you and there was no way you would bother your friend about your money problems.
"Hey babes, I got the medicine for you."
Emma's soft voice rouses you out of your self-pity session. The wood creaks underneath her heels as she walks to your bed and takes a seat besides you, the mattress dipping underneath her weight. The scent of her Vivienne Westwood wafting through your nostrils fills you with a sense of warmth, familiarity and at the same time, dread.
You feel guilty. Perhaps it's because you don't know how to tell Emma what exactly is wrong with you. It's easier to give her the half-truth that you caught a stomach bug than say everything. If you even as much as hinted that Manjiro had something to do with the real reason you were a sobbing mess on your bed, you're sure she would overreact and fight with her brothers again.
But still, not telling her meant you were keeping secrets from her. Something you both promised not to ever do as you two became best-friends.
ā€˜Itā€™s for her own good.ā€™ you try to justify it. ā€˜Itā€™s better I keep my mouth shut.ā€™
Pushing that thought at the back of your mind, you roll over to her direction, pulling down your blanket just a little bit to see her properly. Your heart drops at the sadness etched onto Emmaā€™s face, a forlorn look in her eyes. You hated seeing her down, yet all youā€™ve been doing for the past few months since you came into her life was causing her pain. You know how it feels to lose family, no matter how bad they were to you and Emma is no different.
ā€œHeyā€
Your voice is hoarse from your constant crying, but Emma doesnā€™t mention it as she reaches a hand to caress your face. ā€œYou look better than yesterday. You up to eat?ā€
You nodded briefly, realising how hungry you were. Youā€™ve barely had an appetite to eat anything, so your rations had been smaller and compact until you regained it back bit by bit, thanks to Emmaā€™s constant care. Pushing yourself up, you sit up and yawn, quickly covering your mouth the moment a bad stench emanates from it. Emmaā€™s face quickly grows sour as well, probably smelling it too.
ā€œYou havenā€™t showered.ā€
ā€œUhhh-ā€
You knew there was no excuse for that one as Emma put the food and medicine away before yanking you off the bed while talking about how gross you were for not showering throughout today. ā€œYouā€™re a girl (name), donā€™t do this to yourself, cā€™mon-ā€
ā€œBut-ā€ you start to whine, trying to defend yourself. ā€œI was tired-ā€
ā€œNope!ā€ she retorted, pushing you towards the bathroom. ā€œNo excuses! I swear youā€™re acting like Mikey when heā€™s in one of his moods-ā€
The room falls silent at her words, the cheerful aura dropping the second Emma realises what sheā€™s said, a wave of guilt washing over her face as she lets go of your hands.
ā€œFuck- Iā€™m sorry (name)...ā€
Your heart aches at how heartbroken she sounds right now and shatters even further at the fact that everything, every problem they were experiencing right now was all your fault. You saw it deep in Mikeyā€™s eyes how much pain and suffering your presence in their family had caused, and how his anger reflected that action towards you. Youā€™ve been so entrenched in your own problems that you forgot the mess you made in their family.
ā€œEmma, you miss them donā€™t you?ā€
ā€˜Itā€™s not too late.ā€™ You mutter to yourself, your heart in your throat as you steel your resolve. You couldnā€™t let her make that mistake you made by leaving your family aside. You donā€™t want Emma to be like you.
ā€œ(Name), please donā€™t-ā€
ā€œYou canā€™t keep ignoring them forever.ā€ You cut her short, speaking directly to her now. ā€œYou canā€™t keep ignoring Draken either too. Youā€™re miserable.ā€
ā€œIā€™m fin-ā€
ā€œEmma no.ā€ You snap at her, finally having enough of her stubbornness as anger swells up in you. ā€œI see how sad you look everytime you look at your pictures with your big brothers and Draken. Do you think that itā€™s healthy to keep ignoring them like this?ā€
ā€œYou were the one they hurt, you shouldnā€™t feel bad for them-ā€
ā€œIt doesnā€™t matter! I donā€™t matter!ā€ You yell desperately, now pulling away from her grasp in an attempt to put your foot down. ā€œThey are the ones who matter a lot. Those are you family members! People who love you and have protected you for years! Just talk it out with them! They miss you for godā€™s sake!ā€
ā€œWhat the hell do you mean you donā€™t matter?ā€ Emma roars back at you, suddenly enraged by your outburst. You nearly stumble back at how angry she sounded, fear creeping into your skin as your verbal claws retract. ā€œYou matter to me! You mean the world to me as any of them do! Youā€™re my best friend and I love you and if they donā€™t understand that then there is nothing to make up for!ā€
By the time she was done yelling, her breathing was heavy and her eyes so intense you couldnā€™t even stare at her. Your eyes quickly flickered to your feet instead; scared of seeing the disappointment on her face and terrified of her anger. You didnā€™t like it when Emma yelled, it reminded you of your mother getting angry at you, something you hated doing to her.
Eventually, she took a deep breath and took a step closer to you, her hand intertwined with yours. ā€œCome on, Iā€™ll help you shower.ā€
You silently follow behind her, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped.
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Ā Ā PERHAPS Izana should be angry at Emma.
It would be justified after the words she said from her mouth, but he canā€™t because he knows the truth. Emma was just angry as well and she didnā€™t mean any of the words she had said to hurt him. She said them because of you, however and he realises that every fight theyā€™ve had is over your presence in her life.
Which meant that the true culprit was you.
People may believe in love at first sight, but from the first day Izana set his eyes on you, he could only feel hatred towards you. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him.
At first, Izana thought it was the fact that the both of you were clashing personalities that made him feel that way, but then you keep getting in his way and ruining things for him. He hates everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma and how easy it was for her to like you. Just your mere presence in general was enough to set him off because of how simple it was for you to be close to Emma while you barely knew her. It felt like he was losing his only sister to a stranger, and now the Emma who stands in front of him is a mere mockery of his real sister.
And thatā€™s the frustrating part. He canā€™t do anything to hurt you. Heā€™s smart enough to know that if he does, Emma would never forgive him.
ā€œ... Kurokawa, are you here with us?ā€
Izana snaps back to reality as Kisaki taps the table three times to get his attention. ā€˜I might have spaced out.ā€™ He thinks to himself before facing the entirety of the table; Tetta Kisaki, the rather shrewd and ruthless dealer sitting, his equally irritating lap dog Shuji Hanma and the little shit that he called his younger brother, Mikey.
Speaking of Mikey, ever since that day he made that phone call and revealed his brand new plan of accepting you into their friend group, heā€™s been very quiet. Even throughout todayā€™s meeting, he hasnā€™t said a word, aside from mentioning that Draken was going to be absent and asking where Kakucho was before the meeting began.
And knowing his brother, a quiet Mikey is a suspicious Mikey.
Now that Izana thinks about it, heā€™s noticed that Mikey, who was on his side initially had suddenly switched to trying to apologise to you. Which was weird, considering how egocentric Mikey could be on the topic of apologising. Izana has his suspicions, but then again Mikey is unpredictable due to his rather dark impulses, so he couldnā€™t really say anything yet, until Kakucho came back from his task.
Izana cleared his throat and faced Kisaki again, deciding to be as honest as possible. After all, itā€™s their fault that heā€™s in this mess, might as well remind them. ā€œJust thinking about how Emma practically called me a bastard and Iā€™m supposed to be okay with it.ā€ He said nonchalantly and the air in the room shifted into an uncomfortable silence for the upteenth time this week ever since that unfortunate day. It isnā€™t surprising to anyone as to why though, Izanaā€™s complicated relationship with the Sanoā€™s is a sore topic that no one ever dared to bring up.
From Kisakiā€™s tight lipped expression, Izana is sure that the younger male is picking his words carefully in his head. Even Hanma who would have laughed or said something to intentionally piss off Izana remains silent. Eventually, Kisaki lets out a resigned sigh. ā€œThe audit would be done another time.ā€ He states in a cool tone, putting his laptop aside before facing the two brothers. ā€œItā€™s obvious weā€™re not gonna do anything useful until you resolve this issue with Emma and her friend.ā€
ā€œReally?ā€ The white haired male mocks, causing Kisaki to shift in his place, an irritated frown creasing his face. ā€œwould you like to hear my pla-ā€
ā€œWeā€™re not going to kill a civilian and draw attention to ourselves, Izana. Iā€™ve already told you what to do.ā€ Kisaki snapped back, his yellow eyes darting from Izana to Mikey, before narrowing in irritation. ā€œBoth of you. Just apologise to (name), itā€™s not that hard. You donā€™t even have to mean it, the girl wonā€™t even know the difference-ā€
ā€œAh yes, cause that went well the last time.ā€
ā€œAnd whose fault is that? I clearly told you to say ā€œIā€™m sorryā€ and all you did was make things worse!ā€
ā€œIā€™m just brutally honest.ā€ Izana spits back. ā€œAnd you canā€™t blame me because I tried, compared to Mikey who sits on his damn ass and has done nothing-ā€
ā€œI wasnā€™t the one who called her a cheap hooker!ā€ Mikey interjects defensively, sitting upright after staying quiet from the start of this meeting, finally saying something.
ā€œOh, so you can speak.ā€ Izana retorts back, his voice cold. Mikey is so good at shifting blame onto others for actions he has a hand in, especially when he knows it would reflect badly on him. Unfortunately, Izana has been in this game longer than his little brother. ā€œI thought you had gone mute with the way you donā€™t want to talk about the issue beyond pushing me to apologise to her.ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t make it any easier with how you talk to people.ā€ Mikey hisses back, his tempo rising with each word, but Izana can hear the slight shake in his voice, almost as if heā€™s hiding something. ā€œHow am I supposed to do anything if you keep saying shit like youā€™re glad (name)ā€™s gone?ā€
(Name)?
The entire room falls silent at Mikeyā€™s sudden outburst, or rather what Mikey had just said. No one says a word as they all stare at Mikey in shock, eye wide and mouth hanging open like heā€™d grown two heads. Thereā€™s a glimmer of confusion in the dark eyed male before the realisation of his mistake washes over him, his facial expression changing into a mixture of guilt and pure terror.
As if heā€™s been caught doing something he shouldnā€™t have.
Itā€™s unmistaken. Izana knows his brother is hiding something and it has to do with you. ā€œYouā€™ve never,ā€ he starts slowly, never taking his eyes off Mikey, gauging his facial expression. ā€œcalled her by her name. You only call girls who you had something to do with by their name.ā€
ā€œI-ā€
ā€œYou fucked her, didnā€™t you.ā€ itā€™s a statement, not a question. Mikey grows pale and it's more of a sure answer than anything else at all.
ā€œI didnā€™t do anything badā€¦ sheā€™s still a virgin-ā€
ā€œWhat.ā€ Kisaki, interjecting as well, cuts him off, his voice cold. ā€œDid. You. Do?ā€
Mikey is silent. Itā€™s brief and doesnā€™t last long as he finally seals his fate with a quiet voice. ā€œItā€™s not my fucking fault, she wore a short skirt and she was asking for it-ā€
At the side, Kisaki crumples back onto the dining table seat, his head in his hands muttering a quiet ā€œOh fuck, I should have stayed with Osanai.ā€ as he shakes in disbelief. Hanma just sits there, clearly perturbed, not knowing how to react but at the same time, not really interested.
ā€œGlad to know Iā€™m not the only screw up.ā€ Izana scoffs as well. Despite how cheery his voice sounded, the furious look on his face says a different story altogether. ā€œSince apparently youā€™re just as stupid as I am.ā€
Mikey runs a hand through his golden locs, frustration evident on his features. No one has ever seen him look so frantic, like a little kid who broke something and is trying to hide it. ā€œI didnā€™t do anything wrong. Sure she said no at first but I knew she wanted it when she relaxed in my touch-ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not what Emmaā€™s gonna think, you idiot!ā€ Izana barks at him angrily, his temper finally off the rails. ā€œYou practically threw away your entire plan before it even started! All for what? Mediocre pussy you could get from some other girl? And you know how Shin is about this shit. If Emma finds out and tells him, weā€™re screwed!ā€
Thereā€™s a mixture of emotions swirling in Izana right now. The urge to punch Mikey was strong, for daring to not only lie to his face, but also making him look like a fool to cover his ass.
Then again, he knows itā€™s really not Mikeyā€™s fault but yours. You must have done something to make Mikey hurt you because he knows his little brother doesnā€™t hurt girls. You have this effect of turning people into worse versions of themselves, making them disgusting, evil and hateful.
You turned Emma against them and now you made Mikeyā€™s dark impulses come out.
Itā€™s you thatā€™s the problem.
ā€œSo what anyone find out? They wonā€™t believe herā€ Mikey snarls back, irritated. ā€œShe canā€™t blame me, I told her to fucking leave but she didnā€™t listen! She was practically begging me to fuck her-ā€
ā€œENOUGH!ā€
Kisakiā€™s voice is loud enough to silence the two brothers, ending their argument instantly as they breathe heavily from their prior screaming match. Izana slumps back on his seat as Kisaki sits up straight, eyes narrowed. Mikey does the same as Izana, his jaw tightly clenched as he crosses his arms on his chest, feet crossed. The younger male clears his throat, and starts to rationalise the situation.
ā€œItā€™s obvious that weā€™re going to switch gears since this happened. We all have a curated reputation that we need to protect so that people donā€™t nose into our business.ā€ He turns to Mikey who is still glaring hard at Izana. ā€œYour brother has a point, you fucked up our plan by not telling anyone what you did-ā€
ā€œYou judging me too, Kisaki?ā€
ā€œCan you stop being defensive for once Mikey and just listen!ā€ Kisaki scolds, just about done with everyone making things more difficult for him. ā€œI donā€™t care what you did to her, whatever affection or lust you have for her is a you problem. I just want this situation to be in our favour.ā€
The statement makes Izana scoff in dismal fashion, but he decides to ask out of curiosity regardless. ā€œAnd how do you intend to turn this situation around? Cause right now she has leverage over us and any careless move can put us in a tougher spot than we can handle.ā€
Kisaki turns his attention fully towards Izana again, a knowing look on his face as he asks. ā€œIs Kakucho done searching Mikeyā€™s car?ā€
ā€˜How did he know?ā€™ Izana blinks, but then catches Hanma smirking and doesnā€™t bother to ask his impending questions. Kisaki always had a nasty and suspicious habit of continuously tailing him specifically, and usually it doesnā€™t go over Izanaā€™s radar when it happens, apart from this instance. Which meant someone was being a rat in his group.
Heā€™ll deal with that later.
Mikey raised a brow in confusion as well, opening his mouth to protest the invasion of his privacy when Izanaā€™s phone suddenly rings. He picks it up, attempting to step out to answer it when Kisaki raises his hand to stop him.
ā€œAnswer it here.ā€ Kisaki said, ignoring the way Izana looks at him like he has two heads. ā€œand put it on speaker.ā€
He had no reason to comply, but he wanted to see where Kisaki was going with whatever plan he had. With a wry smile, Izana put the phone down on the table and slid the answer button, putting it on a loudspeaker.
ā€œDid you find anything Kakucho?ā€
Ever loyal, Kakucho clears his throat and starts to speak, his voice sounding strained over the phone, as if heā€™s struggling with something. ā€œYes boss.ā€ He answers, a twinge of nervousness coating his tone. ā€œThereā€™s a dash cam on the mirror and a spy cam underneath the compartment facing the passengerā€™s seatā€¦ā€
Mikey grumbles under his breath something about fucking Kakucho up if anything ends up spoilt or missing in his car but Kisaki holds his hand up to his lips and shushes him. Izana continues once heā€™s sure his brother is done complaining. ā€œAnd did you confirm the anonymous tip that we got?ā€
He can hear Kakucho shift uncomfortably, the silence on the other side of the phone drawn out until he finally says. ā€œBoss, itā€™s too ā€¦ I donā€™t think we should use this against her.ā€ He tries to reason. ā€œI think weā€™re going too far-ā€
ā€œPerfect.ā€ Kisaki chimes in, now looking at Izana with a satisfied smile. Kakucho is about to ask why Kisaki was there but Izana cuts him off instead. ā€œBring it back. Iā€™ll explain once you come to the house.ā€
ā€œOkay boss.ā€
The phone line dies and Kisaki, fairly confident in his plan, looks at Izana once again. ā€œIā€™m sure you know where Iā€™m going, right?ā€
Izana may think Kisaki is a pathetic brat who just happened to be smart, but right now, itā€™s like the both of them are connected and in tune with their thoughts. The tanned male stretches his lips into a smile, one full of malice and at the same time, glee, his eyes light with mirth when he realises what Kisaki was thinking.
Finally a plan he could follow along with.
ā€œAlright, Iā€™m all ears.ā€
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THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.
By the time you managed to catch a bus after spending the entire day looking for a job and getting back to campus, it was already late in the night. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.
You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 00am. The time boldly written on the busā€™ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.
A long time ago before the world weighed you down, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brotherā€™s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.
Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.
ā€œCan you show me the book?ā€ your father asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.
Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you: ā€œWomen donā€™t dream.ā€
Maybe that was the day you realised the love you craved from your father will never be given to you. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you canā€™t even look at the stars, the memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.
You wondered what grievous sin youā€™ve committed to be so down on your luck like this. Today had been one disappointment to another
You passed by Emmaā€™s dorm building, a sigh escaping your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- donā€™t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.
Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.
It was already complicated before it began but at least she's taking your advice and talking to them again.
Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.
A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emmaā€™s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe youā€™re jealous because you needed your friendā€™s comfort right now and she wasnā€™t available. You felt greedy for this, after spending a week with her, you should let her be free.
ā€˜She has her own life to live. And I have mineā€™ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ā€˜I have to stop being so dependent on her.ā€™
Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realise that if you didnā€™t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else youā€™ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatised you.
ā€˜Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend itā€™s okay and enjoy it so that I wonā€™t have to wake up.ā€™ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ā€˜Oh God, how far Iā€™ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-ā€™
You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched.
Silence.
You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasnā€™t anything at all. Nighttime always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.
You should just get out of here.
Eventually, you make it to your dorm house in record time, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. ā€˜Maybe Iā€™m being paranoid. But at least Iā€™m safe now.ā€™ You think to yourself as you push the door open, closing it behind you.
Weary from the dayā€™s stress, your body starts to give up on you but you push through, trying your best to just make it to your room. Youā€™re sure you would just collapse on your bed the second you got there and forget about anything else.
You finally make it to your room, about to rummage your bag for the keys when you notice the door was unlocked. ā€˜Oh? Ami must have come back rather early, since I barely see her until 2am.ā€™
(From here is edited)
But as you reach for the handle, a feeling of dread washes over you, the same one you felt when you were outside. ā€˜I really need to let this go. Thereā€™s no harm waiting for me. Itā€™s just my room.ā€™ You mutter to yourself. Your overthinking has cost you a lot, from your job to your academics and right now, you really need it to stop. Pushing whatever feeling was keeping you away, you walked into the darkened room.
The first thing that greeted you was the stench of some kind of smoke -weed, the kind that Ami liked to use whenever she was in the room. You always hated the smell and you recall telling her to leave the windows open whenever she wanted to smoke. Coughing, you quickly covered your nose and mouth with one hand and reached to turn on the light with another. ā€œAmi, how many times have I told you to open the window whenever you smoke? You know I donā€™t like the smell-ā€
Your blood turns to ice the moment light floods the room, your mouth dry as you stare at the man perched on your reading chair, a leg crossed over the other, the weed blunt hanging between his tanned hands. His lips are stretched into a sick grin, showing all his teeth, purple eyes shining with an odd mirth as he glances at you up and down.
Izana Kurokawa.
ā€˜Runā€™
You donā€™t need to be told twice, quickly discarding your bag and running towards the direction of the door, only to hit someone hard, standing tall in your way. You look up fearfully to see mismatched eyes, a scar running down his face and flinch backwards in reflex. Itā€™s as if he gazes at you with pity, but quickly switches to a blank stare as he stands between you and the door.
You know him from hanging around Emma a lot in the Tenjiku frat house, Kakucho. Heā€™s always around Izana and only loyal to him for some reason that you donā€™t know. He doesnā€™t listen to anyone else, not even Mikey. You realise that he might have been the one that was following you when you were walking home.
Begging him to let you pass would be futile.
ā€œDonā€™t worry, Iā€™m just here to have a little chat with you. Iā€™m not going to hurt you.ā€ His tone is calm, but it doesnā€™t bring you any comfort. If Mikey could hurt you without any remorse, then thereā€™s nothing stopping Izana from doing worse to you. ā€œAnd as much as your backside is as interesting as your face, I prefer talking to someone who is looking at me.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t want to talk to you.ā€ The words fly out from your mouth before you even think of a more appropriate response but it doesnā€™t seem to give him any form of reaction other than a dry laugh.
He scoffed. ā€œI donā€™t care. Turn around.ā€
Reluctantly you slowly turn to face him again, your body trembling as your fear filled eyes lock with his. Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear heavy footsteps walk out of the door, shutting it behind you, locks turning and trapping you with Izana.
ā€˜Oh God oh God oh God.ā€™
Your fear doesnā€™t go unnoticed by the white haired man, and he only chuckles at how stiff you were. Between the two brothers, you know Izana thrives in fear, using it to his advantage and itā€™s not unfounded. Notwithstanding his backing from Black dragons, Izana had taken Tenjiku from a down and out frat house, to a den of crime that holds power, trickling right into the administration of the university. Even his men know better than to ever get themselves in his bad books, because no one can ever escape him, no matter how much you try to run.
It was only a matter of time until he would make you pay for causing him problems, but you didnā€™t think heā€™d come by himself. You felt stupid for thinking he wouldnā€™t care about you or heā€™d forget how angry he was at you and leave you alone, especially with Emma still not on speaking terms with them.
He motions with his bunt for you to come closer to him and you comply, taking careful steps until youā€™re standing right in front of him. He eyes you again with a tepid frown. ā€œWhen you meet a king, you donā€™t stand before him, you kneel.ā€
Kneel. You want to assume heā€™s not serious but you know better than to question him and go down on your knees, focusing your gaze firmly on your lap. Itā€™s humiliating the way he has you at his mercy, without even moving an inch but itā€™s better to be compliant than to aggravate him even further by being disobedient.
Youā€™ve learned the hard way what could happen if you resist.
From the corner of your eyes, you watch as Izana puts out his weed blunt on your reading table leaving a sorching mark on the table, before reaching behind his waistband. Your mouth grows dry the second you see the gun, your heart pounding against your chest as he presses the barrel to your head.
ā€˜Oh god.ā€™ You gasp as he presses it further against your head, until youā€™re sure it would leave an indent. ā€˜Heā€™s going to kill me. Heā€™s going to kill meā€¦ā€™
ā€œThatā€™s odd,ā€ He murmurs. ā€œUsually, other people would be begging for their lives when met with a gun to their head, but youā€™re quiet. If not for the way your hands are trembling, Iā€™d think you werenā€™t scared.ā€
This time, with a gun pointed at your head, youā€™re careful with your words. ā€œY-you said you wonā€™t hurt me.ā€ Your voice shakes with fear but you continue. You know men like Izana, he reminds you of your older brother who ruled the house apart from your father, with fear and control. Sometimes, when you were able to stroke his ego, heā€™d go easy on you. Maybe that would work on Izana too. ā€œThat you want to talk.ā€
ā€œAnd what if I changed my mind? Pulled the trigger? Thatā€™ll make my life easier, yeah? I wonā€™t have to fight for my sisterā€™s love and affection with you.ā€Ā 
Your breath hitches in your throat when you hear the safety go off and watch as his finger curls around the trigger. ā€˜Oh God, heā€™s going to kill me. Heā€™ll shoot me dead. I-i have to say something- I donā€™t want to die-ā€™
ā€œI-i trust you not to do it.ā€ You reply, your lips trembling as you struggle not to think of your head scattered into pieces on the floor if he chooses to kill you. ā€œYouā€™re a man of your words.ā€
Thereā€™s another complete silence that engulfs the entire room, until you hear a click that makes you flinch for a split second, waiting for the bullet that would end it all. Instead, itā€™s him putting the safety back on, and chuckling at your reaction.
ā€œYou trust me? How foolish.ā€ He laughs, tracing the gun from your head down to underneath your chin and forcing you to look up at him. Youā€™ve only read about people with empty eyes in stories, but seeing it in person was so terrifying. ā€œIs that why you ended up with Mikey in his car?ā€
All the blood rushes from your head to the tip of your toes. ā€œH-how do you kn-ā€
ā€œI have eyes and ears in this school, (name).ā€ Youā€™re sure itā€™s the first time youā€™ve heard him call you by your name and despite being in a life or death situation, you couldnā€™t control the shiver that ran through your spine. ā€œYou wanted him to touch you, right?ā€
ā€œT-that is not what happened!ā€ You suddenly cried out, trying to explain your own side of the story. Of all the people who know your dirty and shameful secret, Izana is the worst pick, just your luck. ā€œIt was a mistake! I tried to tell him I didnā€™t want it but I couldnā€™t-ā€
ā€œAh ah -ā€ Izana cuts you off, tilting your chin higher with the gun. ā€œDonā€™t lie to me. You must have planned the entire thing to make Mikey look badā€
ā€œNo! I wasnā€™t trying to do anything, I just wanted to talk-ā€
ā€œReally? Cause Mikey told me an entirely different story-ā€
ā€œNo, no I- didnā€™tā€¦ -ā€
ā€œYou were dangling yourself like a piece of meat for him to fuck and heā€™s a man, you know. He has urges and it's hard to resist temptation.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not true-ā€ your lips start to tremble at his words, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You didnā€™t want to be assaulted, you just wanted to talk to him about the Emma issue and you wanted to apologise. ā€œThatā€™s not true-ā€
ā€œOh but it is.ā€ He said firmly, now leaning in closer to your face until thereā€™s barely any inches between the two of you. ā€œAnd now Mikey feels like a piece of shit because he couldnā€™t stop himself.ā€
ā€œNo-ā€ your voice is small, trying to defend yourself but even you are beginning to doubt your own credibility with how he keeps twisting the narrative around until you begin to actually believe him.
ā€˜No! Donā€™t let him make you think youā€™re in the wrong! You know what happened!ā€™
ā€œHe even told you to leave but you refused to. You were baiting him to just do something to you so that you can tell everyone how bad Mikey is and make yourself get more sympathy points. Am I wrong?ā€
ā€œNo! I would never do that to Mikey!ā€ You donā€™t realise your tempo had suddenly gotten high or that tears had started to drip down your face, but Izana did. He doesnā€™t point it out, staying quiet as you start to shout at him. ā€œI would never bait him into hurting me! I just wanted to make up with him because I felt that I overreacted at the party I swear! And then he touched me in the car -ā€
ā€œAnd you never reported him to the school authorities? Why? Did you want to blackmail him for money-ā€
ā€œBecause I love him!ā€
The words flew out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself from saying them.
Your heart drops as a mischievious glint appears in Izanaā€™s eyes. His smile drops slightly, still maintaining the gun on your chin. ā€œYou love him?ā€ He says slowly, testing out the words on his lips. ā€œLove? Mikey?ā€ He looks so deep in thought, like the concept sounds so foreign to him that he almost canā€™t believe it. His gaze falls back to you again, a quiet scoff emanating from his lips. ā€œYou really have no shame, do you?ā€
Unable to maintain eye contact with him, you break away from his gaze, biting down on your lips to prevent yourself from falling apart. When you donā€™t respond, Izana takes your silence as an opportunity to keep talking. ā€œIf you love him so much, then whatā€™s wrong with what you both did in the car that day? It was what you wanted, wasn't it?ā€
ā€œNot like thatā€¦ā€
ā€œBut you claim to love him.ā€ Izana is calm and cool, while youā€™re stuttering on your words, making you look like youā€™re the one who is wrong. Like what youā€™re saying doesnā€™t make any sense to begin with and heā€™s the one saying something of reason. ā€œAnd yet, you didnā€™t even notice he wasnā€™t himself that day. Or did you take advantage of his fragile state of mind?ā€
ā€œI would NEVER-ā€
ā€œYou would, because you get to be the so-called victim and he gets to be the villain in your own story. Do you really know the implication of your actions?ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not right.ā€ You donā€™t even realize how quiet youā€™ve gotten, your voice full of uncertainity. ā€œI didnā€™t ā€¦ itā€™s notā€¦ā€
ā€œShut up.ā€ He cuts you off again with a firm tone, tapping the gun on your chin gently to enunciate his point. ā€œThe reason why I havenā€™t put a bullet through your head as much as I want to is because I love Emma. I love Emma so much Iā€™d kill for her and Iā€™d resist the urge to kill for her. Thatā€™s how Sanoā€™s love. Thatā€™s true love. That's something you'll never ever experience.ā€
You stay silent, trying to understand what exactly Izana was calling love. He leaned closer, making you feel even smaller. ā€œIf Emma finds out, sheā€™ll think Mikey intentionally hurt you and she will hate him. But I guess thatā€™s what you want, isnā€™t it?ā€
ā€œNever. I donā€™t want her to hate himā€ your inner voice telling you itā€™s not your fault, is nothing more than a whisper, the feeling of guilt and shame overtaking you until youā€™re almost suffocating. ā€œI just want them to be happyā€¦ā€
ā€œThen you know exactly what youā€™re meant to do, right?ā€
Of course you know what to do. Ever since you were child, itā€™s been drilled into your head. Whenever your brothers hit you a bit too hard or your father went overboard with his belt and you ended up in the hospital, your mother would take you aside to issue a warning that still rings in your head. That had terrible consequences if you refused to follow through with it.
You nod weakly. It really doesnā€™t matter what is right and wrong when it comes to the Sanoā€™s, but what they want. Izana taps the gun on your chin again, shaking his head. ā€œI need a verbal answer.ā€
ā€œI wonā€™t tell anybody what happened. Especially not Emma.ā€
Satisfied, he withdrew his gun from your chin and your face falls onto his lap, unable to support your head any longer. You feel a hand reaching down to pet your head, like you were a dog who had just been tamed by her new owner. The strength to push him off or stand up had left you, feeling drained as the weight of guilt settle down on your shoulders, heavily. You know you shouldnā€™t believe anything Izana says, but then again he does have a point. Maybe you should have been more receptive of Mikeyā€™s touch or at least be polite about declining him instead of shoving him off and hurting his pride.
You feel so utterly powerless. Despite being wronged, you know thereā€™s nothing you can really do to save yourself. You donā€™t think you can bear the traumatic experience of being an outlier again.
Mikey. You donā€™t want to hurt him. You donā€™t want anyone thinking heā€™s a bad person over a singular action.
'Maybe itā€™s not as bad as I think, I did enjoy it mid-way, so it should count as something. Right?'
You feel sick just trying to think about it.
ā€œYou know, if youā€™re this obedient, we can get along just fine.ā€ He hums, breaking the silence as he pets your head gently. You hate yourself right now. How easy it is to do whatever it is that youā€™re told because disobedience is not an option. ā€œIā€™m sure you wouldnā€™t want to know what Iā€™ll do to you if you break your promise.ā€
ā€œNoā€ your voice is quiet. You feel tired, sick maybe, you donā€™t know. Maybe itā€™s the weed he smoked earlier affecting your judgement and reasoning. Or itā€™s the lack of sleep that has made it difficult for you to think straight or stand up. Either way, you donā€™t care. ā€œI donā€™t.ā€
ā€œGood girl.ā€
You know heā€™s mocking you, but you accept it, like you do with every circumstance thrown at you.
Bonus:
Ā Ā IZANA looks down at your sleeping figure with a curious gaze.
For a moment, he almost pities you. Despite the faint glow of the room lighting, he can see the dark circles underneath your eyes and how stressed you look. For someone who is actively working to pay her fees while sustaining herself with no one caring for her, it must be hard being abandoned by society.
He can see why Emma picked you to be her friend, she always had a trait of picking up stray animals who had no one because she wanted something to protect. Itā€™s no different with you, the way sheā€™s so fiercely loyal to you and why she wanted you to be accepted by their family. No wonder she was hurt when you were vehemently rejected by them.
If he had a conscience, heā€™d feel bad for you. You love Mikey, of all people, someone who only saw you as a nuisance and to push the blame of his actions onto. All those times Mikey was cruel to you must have hurt the most because you truly cared about what he thinks about you.
Heā€™s careful when he lifts your head from his lap, not wanting to wake you up. He puts your head on the chair and turns to leave, already overstaying his welcome. Heā€™s done the thing he was supposed to, ensuring you stayed quiet about Mikeyā€™s actions and thereā€™s no need for him to be here any longer.
As he walked to the door, his mind goes back to you. In a way, you and him were similar. All alone, unwanted, with nobody in the world to care about you, cold, uncaring parents who didnā€™t think twice in terms of abandoning you both. The only difference between you and him is that he grew a backbone and you havenā€™t. Youā€™re like a kicked dog who continues to stay on the ground to get kicked, in hopes the person kicking you stops eventually.
As long as you stay on the ground, people like him will keep kicking you.
He knocks loudly on the door and the locks turn. Kakucho opens it for him, peering inside with a worried gaze, his eyes settling on your body slumped over a chair.
ā€œDid you hit -ā€
ā€œI didnā€™t touch her.ā€ Izana snaps at the taller male, stepping out of the room properly. ā€œSheā€™s fine, physically at least. Emotionally sheā€™s a mess. But thatā€™s Mikeyā€™s problem to fix.ā€
ā€œHuh?ā€
It wouldnā€™t hurt to tell Kakucho your little secret.Ā  ā€œApparently (name)ā€™s in love with my dear brother Mikey so sheā€™s keeping quiet what he did to her.ā€ a cruel smile stretches across his face. ā€œHow pathetic.ā€
Kakucho frowns at Izanaā€™s statement, but as usual he doesnā€™t say anything in response. Instead, his eye darts back to your form again, taking a good look at you, his eyes softening. Ever the gentleman.
ā€œShe shouldnā€™t really stay like that Izana, sheā€™ll get a stiff neck-ā€
ā€œKakucho.ā€
That was enough to end the conversation.
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special thanks to: (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra @ilovetwodmen @kodzubaby @straightfromheaven @manchie55 @pikibee @tomeyano @matchamilktea-05 @tenjikusstuff4 @m0onz1 @hapikiou @rainnyzz @Lovelyartistz @lik0 @maraya-007 @thisismarisaaa @reeyy0-2 @littlemisspropaganda @cherie026
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bryan-writes Ā· 4 months ago
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In the quiet of your arms Mammon x reader
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Summary: Mammon has a nightmare where he loses you, and wakes up to find his bed emptyā€” you come back and find him in a state of panic.
Nightmare, happy ending!, established relationship, hurt/lots of comfort, mentions of blood/death, soft mammon
Credit to @steddiecameraroll-graphics for the beautiful dividers :)
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The nightmare clung to Mammon like a vice, tightening with every breath he took. Dark tendrils wrapped around his thoughts, choking the air from his lungs. But as hard as he tried, Mammon couldnā€™t break free.
He was running, always runningā€” his breath ragged, his heart slamming against his ribsā€” but no matter how fast his legs moved, you were slipping further away. Y/Nā€” his human, his everythingā€” lay before him, broken. Blood stained the earth beneath you like spilled ink, dark and endless, as if it might swallow him whole.
ā€œStay with me!ā€ His voice cracked, desperate and raw. He dropped to his knees beside you, trembling fingers brushing your skin, but your warmth was quickly fadingā€” slipping between his fingers like sand. He could see it in your eyes, the light that you shone with was dimming.
You were leaving him.
A scream clawed its way out of his throat, but when he tried to hold you closer, his arms passed through empty air.
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Mammon awoke, heart hammering, drenched in cold sweat.
The darkness of his room greeted him like a heavy shroud, suffocating and oppressive. He felt the remnants of the nightmare lingering, curling in the corners of his room. He sat up, panting, eyes wildly searchingā€” but you werenā€™t there.
His bed was empty, his room silent.
A void opened inside of him, deep and gnawing, a primal fear clawing at his chest. His hands shook as he fumbled for his D.D.D., calling out your name into the silence, but the device slipped from his grip, clattering to the floor.
ā€œNo, no, noā€¦ā€ Panic rushed through him, an icy torrent sweeping him away. He stood, stumbled, nearly tripping over his own feet as he checked every inch of his room, heart slamming against his ribs, breath coming in shallow, desperate gasps.
The world was spinning, closing in, pressing against his chest until it hurt. He could still see youā€” broken and lifelessā€” when he closed his eyes. He couldnā€™t lose you.
Not you.
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When you returned from your trip to the bathroom, the scene you found stole the breath from your lungs.
Mammon was on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, hands gripping fistfuls of his hair as though trying to keep himself from unraveling completely. His golden eyesā€” usually gleaming with mischief or arroganceā€” were wide and wild, filled with a terror youā€™d never seen before. The great Mammon, the Avatar of Greed, reduced to something fragile, something broken.
You knelt beside him, touch feather-light against his shaking form. ā€œMamā€™sā€¦ Iā€™m here.ā€
He flinched at the sound of your voice, his breath catching in his throat. Slowly, he lifted his head, his gaze locking onto yours, searching your face in disbelief.
ā€œYouā€¦ youā€™re here,ā€ he whispered, voice hoarse, as if he couldnā€™t quite trust his own eyes. His hand reached out, trembling, brushing against your cheek as though testing whether you were real, whether you would disappear the moment he blinked.
Tears finally broke through, rolling down his cheeks in heavy silence as he realized you were really there.
ā€œYou were goneā€”ā€ His voice cracked, raw and vulnerable in a way he rarely let anyone see. ā€œI-I couldnā€™t find yaā€¦ I thoughtā€”ā€œ His words broke off into a choked sob, and he pulled you against him, holding you tightly, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
You wrapped your arms around him, grounding him in your warmth. You could feel the weight of his fear in the way his hands shook against your back, the way his breathing came in shallow, uneven bursts. You slowly stroked his hair, your fingers weaving through soft strands, whispering reassurances into the quiet. You tangled yourself into him on the ground, letting him press closer, as if the heat of your skin could melt away the lingering traces of his nightmare.
ā€œIā€™m here, Mammon,ā€ you whispered again, firmer this time, ā€œIā€™m not going anywhere.ā€
His breathing slowed, but the trembling didnā€™t stop entirely. You could feel his heartbeat, frantic and uneven, as if he was still trapped in that dark dream. You stayed still, holding him even closer, letting him find solace in the steady rhythm of your heart. Your fingers kept brushing through his hair, over his back, each touch a promise: Iā€™m with you.
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Minutes seemed to stretch into an eternity, the room so silent that your breathing seemed to echo. Gradually, the chaos in Mammon began to ebb. His grip on you loosened, just enough to be able to look at youā€” really look at you. He studied you like you were a lifeline, his gaze tracing every soft curve of your face, every shimmer of warmth in your eyes, every rise and fall of your chest.
ā€œYouā€™reā€¦ really here,ā€ he murmured, disbelief and awe threading through his voice. ā€œI thought I lost ya..ā€
ā€œYouā€™ll never lose me,ā€ you replied, fingers brushing through his hair slowly, soothingly. ā€œI promise, Iā€™m right here. And I always will be.ā€
The softness of your voice, the certainty of your words, seemed to chip away at the last of his fear. He closed his eyes, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours. ā€œYa donā€™t get it,ā€ he whispered, voice barely audible. ā€œIā€¦ I canā€™t lose ya. I donā€™t know what Iā€™d do without ya.
Your heart swelled at his confession. Gently, you cupped his face, guiding him to look at you again. ā€œYou wonā€™t,ā€ you said, each word a promise sealed with the warmth in your gaze. ā€œIā€™m here, and Iā€™m staying.ā€
He leaned into your touch, hands slipping from your waist to tangle with yours, fingers intertwining as if he were holding onto something sacred. He breathed out slowly, the last traces of his fear fading with each exhale.
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For a moment, neither of you moved, time slowing as you remained wrapped up in each other. The storm in his heart has passed, and all that was left was youā€” steady, constant, and real.
You pressed a kiss to his forehead, soft and lingering, and he closed his eyes at the feel of your lips against his skin. ā€œMams,ā€ you whispered softly, your voice warm as a summer breeze, ā€œI adore you.ā€
He opened his eyes, the golden warmth in them softening as he gazed at you. Slowly, he lifted his hand to cradle your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. ā€œI adore everythinā€™ about ya,ā€ he murmured, voice quiet but filled with a sincerity that made your heart flutter. ā€œAnd Iā€™m never lettingā€™ ya go.ā€
You smiled, leaning into his touch, and before you knew it, his lips brushed against yoursā€” a kiss that was gentle, tentative, and full of unspoken promises. He kissed you as though you were the most precious thing in his world, a reverence in the way he held you close.
The kiss lingered, soft and slow, before he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours.
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Time seemed to melt away, the two of you wrapped in each other's presence, his fears now just a distant echo. You rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breaths, the warmth that now filled the room.
For that moment, you were safe.
And you knew that, as long as you had each other, you always would be.
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donatellawritings Ā· 11 months ago
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would rafe ever actually hurt the reader or does he always say empty promises when heā€™s upset? would you write that? love your work xx
ugh so basically, this is the first and only time that rafe and sweetheart actually break up :(
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there was only one instance where rafe had hurt you ā€” and it was one of, if not, the only regret that will continue to haunt him, whenever you shed even a single tear. it was pretty early on in your relationship, he was still struggling to navigate how to handle someone as pure as you, while you were still finding your footing when it came to having such a volatile lover in rafe cameron. youā€™d been warned by your cousin, kiara ā€” she was firm in maintaining her stance on being against you and rafe being in a relationship ā€¦ you were her family, you had a heart of genuine gold, while rafe only displayed the facade of being a blood and money hungry man with incessant skeletons in his closet.
ā€œdonā€™t fuckinā€™ walk away from me, when iā€™m talkinā€™ to you,ā€ rafe shouted, hot on your trail as you tearfully made your way into your shared bedroom. mascara-stained tears painted your once blushed cheeks with dark and watery streaks, your lip poked out in a wobbly pout as you turned to face your angered boyfriend, ā€œof course, the baby is fuckinā€™ crying ā€” i should be the one thatā€™s fuckinā€™ crying after the way you walked around like a dumb slut,ā€ he scoffed, completely unfazed by your genuine tears of sorrowful frustration. now focusing your gaze at your kitten-heel clad feet, your shoulders slumped as a choked out sob sipped from between your swollen lips.
rafe was completely coked-out, blaming his over-indulgence on the fact that it had been months since heā€™d been able to enjoy a night out. his usually cold, yet enticing bright blue glaze was taken over by blown pupils and bloodshot eyes that stared at you with nothing, but disdain, ā€œyā€™fuckinā€™ look at me when iā€™m talking to you,ā€ he spoke lowly, a squeaky yelp coming out of you as he gripped your jaw, forcing your head up to make direct eye contact with him. your hand gently held onto his wrist, fat tears cascading down your waterline as rafe painfully pinched your cheeks together, ā€œi want you to get the fuck out of my house ā€” yā€™wanna fuckinā€™ talk to other guys while mā€™making us money? then fucking leave,ā€ he spat through gritted teeth, pushing your face away as you let out a throaty cry.
that was far from the case ā€” rafe had simply caught you making conversation with some random kook whoā€™d failed to take the hint that not only you were uninterested, but you were rafeā€™s girl. but, rafe was too far gone to see anything aside from what his intoxicated mind wrongfully conjured up.
with a heaving chest, you let out a cry as you reached to grab rafeā€™s arm, ā€œno, papi, i donā€™t want to go ā€” please ju-just listen to me,ā€ the second your hand touched rafeā€™s flexed arm, your head whipped to the side as rafeā€™s ring-clad hand slapped you right across your pretty face. your cheek pulsed with an aching sting as you blinked, your swollen lips parted in disbelief.
the sharp sound of rafeā€™s hand connecting with your face instantly caused your boyfriend to sober up, just enough for his eyes to widen in realization as he immediately approached you, ā€œfuck, baby i didnā€™t mean to fuckinā€™ā€”ā€ he began, reaching an arm out to pull you into his chest, his heart sinking to his stomach as you backed away from him, bone-chilling cries leaving your mouth as you made a run for the bedroom door. ā€œno-no, mama, please just fuckinā€™ listen!ā€ he shouted, his arms successfully wrapping around you from behind as he pulled you flush against his tense chest.
ā€œi fucking hate you, let me go!ā€ you screamed, kicking your heeled feet as rafe tightened his hold on you, your eyes burning with reddening tears as you let out a choked sob. your cheek still pulsed as you began to sink to the floor, rafe lowering himself with his arms secured around you as you weakly clawed at his strained forearms, ā€œplease, i just want to go home,ā€ you squeaked out, rafeā€™s eyes glazing over ā€” this was supposed to be your home. youā€™d given up on kicking at the floor and scratching rafeā€™s arms, your heaving cries making you a bit sleepy as rafe wordlessly held you against him, waiting until you were calm, before heā€™d speak again.
tears silently rolled down rafeā€™s structured face as he hopelessly clung to you. you had every right to hate him and he accepted that, but the possibility of you leaving him for good was really starting to bite at him. with a shaky sigh, rafe leaned his forehead against your shoulder, ā€œbaby, pl-please letā€™s just, letā€™s just go to sleep,ā€ he whispered, his voice wobbly as he swallowed down a pathetic cry. you remained quiet as you stared at the hardwood floor that had been scuffed by your heels, your doe eyes puffy and red from all of the crying youā€™d done, your eyelids heavy. ā€œmā€™so fuckinā€™ sorry,ā€ rafe cried, feverishly pressing his lips into the back of your shoulder, over and over again, his wet eyelashes now prominent against your exposed skin.
you were completely numb, once rafe slowly rose to his feet, keeping you in his arms as he carefully removed your clothes, replacing them with one of his t-shirts, tears rolling down his face as you remained limp, your eyes blank of any recognizable emotion as you refused to look directly into his eyes. you didnā€™t even move when rafe softly cradled the back of your head, pressing a kiss into your forehead as you simply blinked, your wispy lashes clumped together from your warm tears. carefully leading you to your shared bed, rafe remained fully clothed in his button-up and slacks, silently thankful that you were able to fall asleep with your bruised cheek finding comfort against his cheek. he couldnā€™t find it in himself to sleep, once he was completely sober and of a sound mind, rafe knew that heā€™d completely fucked up.
this wasnā€™t supposed to happen, not with you. he was supposed to be different, he was supposed to be a man of dignity, yet here he was slipping into his old ways.
so, rafe was awake when you finally woke up, his heart beating just a bit quicker as you raised your head from his chest, your cheekbone a light reddish-purple shade. it wasnā€™t until your exhausted and strained eyes met his, that rafe wanted nothing more than to fall to his knees and beg you for your forgiveness. but, he knew heā€™d be selfish to expect you to forgive him, only mere hours since heā€™d put his hands on you. biting back tears, rafe stood from the bed, ā€œi want to take you somewhere, baby ā€” yā€™donā€™t have to change your clothes, just come with me to the car, yeah?ā€ rafe held out his hand, a slight warmth fluttering in his chest as you lightly held onto his hand with a small nod.
ą±Øą§Ž
rafe was thankful that youā€™d fallen asleep, about five minutes into the drive. heā€™d been wracking over his mistake over and over again, to the point where he couldnā€™t even bring himself to turn the car around and drive back home with you. slowly bringing the car to a stop, rafe gently parked the car, running a hand over his shaven face with a low and shaky sigh. his tired eyes looked over your peaceful state, your puffy lips slight parted as you fell into a deep sleep. rafeā€™s heart ached as he gently laid a hand on your thigh, lightly nudging you out of your sleep, a sad and knowing smile tugging on his lips as you opened your eyes.
ā€œrafe, why are we here?ā€ you asked, your voice raspy and hoarse as your eyes glazed.
rafe had driven you home.
unbuckling his seatbelt, rafe shifted to give you his full attention, his hand bringing yours to his lips as you looked at him with tearful eyes, ā€œi want you to listen to me, aā€™ight? i need to be a better man for you,ā€ he mumbled, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, before swallowing thickly as you held in a cry, ā€œmā€™gonna get my shit together, princessā€”ā€ he continued, watching as you furiously shook your head. you were stubborn, but this was the one time where he needed you to listen to him.
ā€œno, i wanna be with you ā€” i donā€™t hate you, iā€”ā€ you panicked, tears streaming down your face as you softly pulled your hand away from rafeā€™s, using both of your small hands to cover your face.
ā€œmā€™gonna come and get you when i get better, okay mama? but right now, you need to go home, aā€™ight?ā€ he sighed, keeping his eyes focused on the steering wheel. if he even looked at you for a second, he knew that heā€™d be back on the road, with you in the passenger seat, riding off into the sunset.
sniffling back a sob, you glanced at your boyfriend through cloudy eyes, ā€œyouā€™re breaking my heart, papi,ā€ you cried, your puffy lips now dry as you licked over them. you wanted so bad to crawl into his lap and fall asleep, forget this all happened. unfortunately, rafe had already made up his mind.
ā€œbaby, please go home, this isnā€™t easy for me,ā€ rafe spoke sternly, maintaining his gaze on the steering wheel, tears burning at his waterline as you nodded weakly, before stepping out of the car, gently closing the passenger door as you walked towards your house.
neither you nor rafe had the strength to look at each other as you made your way into your house, leaving rafe a tearful mess as he aimlessly made his way back on the road. every few minutes, heā€™d glance at the passenger seat, hoping that youā€™d magically appear next to him and be your usually smiley self, but he knew that couldnā€™t happen, not for a while.
rafe meant it when he said that heā€™d come get you, once he got better and he looked to make good on that promise. you were his sweet girl and he wouldnā€™t be able to live with himself, if he managed to lose you for good. he just hoped that youā€™d still love him, when he returned.
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readychilledwine Ā· 1 year ago
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Could i request something where az and reader are mates. They have a huge fight and ā€œbreak upā€ and reader leaves the court. She finds out that she is pregnant and writes him a letter. He never shows up so she thinks he doesnā€™t want the baby. Rhys visit the court she is in and sees her with a child maybe a couple months old. He is mad because she didnā€™t told him and when he ask her why she keeps his nephew away she tells him that she wrote az but he never answered. Rhys is mad and ask az what is up with him to just leave his pregnant mate. Unbeknownst to him that az was searching for her the whole time. Az tells him that he never got a letter and they find out that maybe elain burned it. It takes some time for them but they find their way back and just fluff azriel dad who teaches his son how to fly.
( you could write more angst between reader and az because of elain or you could use a maid or something who wants az)
Here Without You
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Summary - Being a single mother was more painful than you'd ever thought it would be, especially when your son's father was just a court away.
Warnings - Angst, Elain showing those claws, single mom status, a child, PPD and the thoughts that come with it, **edited to add** cheating
A/N - I had one of my friends who is a single mom help me with this one while also imagining my life without baby daddy, and um, yeah. We cried a lot, so hopefully, you all do too.
*message from Liz regarding the ending at the end*
šŸ’™Peep my Azriel Masterlist HerešŸ’™
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You had decided whatever you had done to offend the Mother must have been truly unforgettable and unforgivable as you sank against the wall of your family chambers in the Day Court Palace.
Being a new mother was the hardest thing you had ever and will ever do. You had finally gotten Nox down after 3 hours of fussing and tears, and now you waited. He'd sleep 2 hours if you were lucky, wake up crying, and you'd start the process over.
You had wished for your mate more times than you could count, but that bridge was long gone and burned. He had ensured of that by not coming when you wrote him, by not even bothering to write you a response.
The last fight between you and Azriel had been ugly. Glasses had been thrown, a bottle of wine knocked over in rage, cruel words you would both have to live with ringing in your ears like a scream. 350 years. Gone. Thrown away like garbage. All for Elain.
Selfish, plotting, destructive Elain.
You stood, body swaying with sleep deprivation setting in before sitting at the table where your now cold food set. You were too tired to eat, choosing to instead drink the water you had been desperately craving 4 hour ago.
You had wished you could turn it to wine, drink it with no consequences, and still feed Nox when he woke, but that was not the reality of the world. So, instead, you allowed the room temperature flavorless beverage to slide down your throat before moving like a ghost to the couch. There was no point in getting comfortable in your own bed. You would have to be up soon anyway. It wasnā€™t as if you had help.
You were alone.
And that wasn't even the most painful part of it.
The most painful part was setting in doubt. The growing disbelief that you weren't capable of this, that Nox deserved more, that you should have dropped him at the cabin you had no doubt Elain had moved into, leaving him with her and Azriel to allow you to-
You cut your brain off, refusing to put those words into a full thought. Refusing to believe that your disappearance or death was better for your son than this.
This had to be enough, you had to be enough, because Gods if it wasn't and you weren't, then what truly was the point in living any longer.
Helion entered your chambers the next morning, eyes falling to where you were sat on the floor, shoulders shaking as sobs tore through you. He placed a large warm hand on your shoulder before taking Nox from your arms. "I know I can not offer much of a break due to his feeding cycle, but when is the last time you ate a hot meal, y/n?"
You shook your head. He was 2 weeks old. You supposed it had been before labor. Since then, it had been moments begging for just a second of deep sleep. Moments begging for the Mother to help you, to guide you. Moments where those prayers went unanswered as if they were just thrown into a void. "I don't remember."
Helion could have killed Azriel for you, for Lucien, for Nox. He almost had when you had winnowed yourself here, collapsing in his arms from the exhaustion magic and a growing babe had caused your body.
You hadn't known when you came to the Day Court, begging your oldest friend for a week of safety and healing that you were pregnant, but the High Lord had scented it the second you appeared.
It left him wondering how the hell Azriel hadn't.
"Let me hire a wet nurse for you," he offered again, knowing you would turn it down since your depressive state had you hyper fixated in this belief that all you were good for now was your breasts, and if you gave that duty away, what purpose did you have? "At least for the next few hours. To give you time to rest?"
You still shook your head, messy, tangled hair trying to sway. "I can't. I can't burden someone else."
Helion turned his head away from you, willing himself not to cry at the emptiness of your voice, at the lifelessness you had become.
"The Night Court and Spring are coming today," he started slowly. "I am the magic selected neutral ground for Tamlin and Rhysand to begin setting a peace treaty and trade routes." He waited for your reaction, almost breaking further as you gave him none. "Do you want to see any of them?"
"Lucien and Tamlin."
Helion felt his heart shatter for Cassian, the male who had been asking about you for months now. "The general-"
"Is Azriel's brother. And probably has taken his side. Attempts to see me are probably to give him some sick sort of satisfaction."
He dropped the subject immediately. Nox was asleep, content in the High Lord's arms. "I have time before they arrive, go nap." Helion ordered it, eyes blazing a soft gold and forcing you into submission.
Your bed had never felt so soft.
Helion was walking with Nox around the Palace, smiling and cooing the little male. He was always content when he was being held, and you were so deeply asleep you hadn't even noticed Helion holding the boy to your chest as he nursed. He walked towards where Lucien and Tamlin were.
His son, his pride and joy, looked just radiant in his Day Court attire. The soft, off-white pleaded fabric draping him showed the new healthy build he had gained since Azriel and Elain's transgressions, a golden snake wrapped his bicep, new golden earrings adorned those many piercings.
Lucien paused, a look of concern etching his face when he saw Nox before shaking his head rapidly.
But it was too late, Helion was already in the room where Rhysand also stood with the Inner Circle. The Lord of Night's face fell as he looked at the Illyrian boy, looking so happy up at Helion as he dozed off.
Cassian had frozen, mid sentence with Nesta. He had tried to take a step, wanting to see the babe he immediately knew was his nephew. His eyes met Helion's pleading with permission to approach. Elain's face had paled. A mix of guilt and fear running across it before she schooled it into a faked look of hurt and sadness.
But it was Azriel's face the broke the High Lord. It was a look he knew all too well.
The look of a father who missed the birth of his child.
The look of a father who didn't know he had a child.
The look of a father mourning lost time.
Lucien moved to Helion, taking Nox before leaving the room quickly. The boy did as he always did when his head found Lucien's warm bare shoulder. He released a heavy breath, snuggling into that familiar scent and warmth. "Your mother did not call for me last night," they all heard his soft voice trailing off, speaking to their nephew softly.
"You will tell me everything I do not know," Rhysand demanded as if he was in his own court. "When the fuck was he born. Why were we not informed of her pregnancy?"
Tamlin looked to Helion, digging the shit further. "Is she in the same room as last time?" The Lord of Day nodded. "I will go see her while you all deal with this."
Helion didn't answer, walking to the centered round table and taking the head seat. "To begin, Rhysand, this is my court. You will not make demands of me in my home." They all sat, aside from Azriel. His gaze was locked on the hallway Lucien and Tamlin had gone down.
If he ran, he could catch them. He could see you. He could-
The slam of hands on a table ripped him from his thoughts, and his head snapped to Helion. The High Lord was blazing, glowing like the sun itself, heat radiating from him. "Sit. Down."
An hour later and Rhysand had the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers. "You saw her send each letter?"
Helion rolled his eyes, nodding again. "Every month after every check up and once after the birth."
Rhys pointed to Azriel. "But you never got them?"
"My son wouldn't be in another court if I had," Azriel's voice mirrored yours. Broken, empty, mourning. Mourning what was, what he had missed and would never get back. "You're sure she sent them to me?"
Helion could have snapped his neck. "Who else would have fathered her babe? You are the one who stepped out of the bonds of marriage and mateship. Not her."
Azriel paused, a sudden look of anger gracing his face as he looked up at Elain, shadows curling his ears. Nuala appeared, setting envelopes down in front of Rhysand. "In her room. Under her bed in a locked chest. Along with every communication you had tried to send to y/n, my lord."
Feyre gasped, turning her back to Elain and leaning further into Rhysand, holding Nyx tightly between them. She remembered those first few weeks. The sleepless nights, the pain, the emotional down pour. She would not have survived without Rhysand. Without Nesta and Mor. Without Cassian and you and Azriel. Her sister, the one who had held her as darkness swallowed her mind after her son's birth, had allowed you to endure this alone.
Azriel's hands shook, reaching for that stack. He separated out the letters. 10 for him. 2 for Rhysand and Feyre. 2 for Mor. 2 for Amren. 4 for Cassian and Nesta.
Helion stood. "I will let you all process this. Call for me when you are ready to do negotiations. The sooner you all leave, the better for her."
Rhysand's eyes shot up. "You won't let us explain to her-"
"Does it change the fact that he took Elain to their marriage bed? Does it change that he signed the annulment papers." Silence filled the room. "I believe that's why she left. Correct?" Rhys grit his teeth nodding. "Then all this changes is me, someone she trusts and feels safe with right now, informing her of what happened and allowing her to decide if she wants to reach out again from that point." He made a pointed look at Elain. "Which would not matter since I cannot see you removing the parasite from your court."
Helion walked into your room to Lucien and Nox laying skin to skin, a blanket over them as Tamlin held you, long fingers running through your dark hair. "And?" His son said.
"Your mate hid the letters regarding her pregnancy." Lucien whistled. "She's a snake hiding behind beautiful scales."
Azriel had tracked down your room with his shadows easily. The inner circle had been excused for the negotiations and allowed to explore the city. Cassian had flown Elain home, Mor and Amren winnowing Nesta behind them. Cassian wanted Elain out of his house, and Azriel could not have been more grateful to his brother for having his back.
He entered the room slowly and quietly. You were placing the babe in a crib on the balcony. It was shaded from the sun, shielded to remain the perfect temperature, and yet gave him access to fresh air, to the breeze.
You turned, eyes wide the second you saw Azriel. He moved to you so quickly that you could hardly process it. One second, your feet were on the ground, and the next, arms held you tight against him. Azriel was breathing deeply, memorizing your scent all over again.
He set you down, keeping you close to his chest, and sent a prayer to the Mother. "Elain hid all the letters," he began slowly. "She kept them all in her room. I didn't know. Had I known about you, about him, I would have crawled the very depths of hell to bring you back home to me."
You didn't answer. Tears fell as your body relaxed into him. It wasn't fair. The hold he had on you. The need you still felt in your bones when he touched your skin. You ached for Azriel so deeply it echoed into your bones. You longed for his smell. His voice.
Azriel took your silence as permission to continue. "I made a mistake. I will never be able to make up for it. Elain knew the second you left, I wanted to correct this. I was so blinded by her, by the feeling of being needed like that again, that I forgot how precious your independence was. How beautiful it is."
He couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of your head. "You are all I think about. Morning, noon, and night, it is always and will always be you. I am so sorry for what I have done. I am sorry for hurting you, for ruining us, for hurting the family we should be raising together. There are no words for my remorse."
"Why?" Your voice broke as you asked. "Why wasn't I enough?"
Azriel pulled back to look at you, hand raising to hold your chin and force eye contact. "Y/n, you are not at fault for my actions. You did nothing wrong. There is no partial blame, no what ifs. I fucked up. I made a mistake and it cost both of us everything. You are the victim of my actions, not the catalyst."
He saw you process those words and saw as they sunk in. "You were and are more than I will ever deserve. I want to spend my lifetime making up for it. Becoming a male you are proud of. I want to be the father I never got to have. I want to be the husband and mate you deserve. I know it will take time, and I do not expect your forgiveness today, but if you give me a chance, I will go to my grave worshipping the ground you two walk."
"Do you want to meet our son?" He broke at the question, feeling the bond opening back on your end. "This doesn't mean we're back together. It means we need to coparent for him while we work on things." He nodded rapidly, following you to the bassinet.
It felt like the world was coming full circle. You knew it would take time, that you two had many things to discuss first. This was a needed good start, though. Your pain eased slightly as you pulled back the curtains to the crib and whispered, "Azriel, this is Nox, your son."
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@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho
**I have received some pretty nasty anon asks, some unconstructive comments, and a good amount of general negativity regarding this fic. If you are unhappy with the ending and want to know why I made the choices I made as the author, click #discussingherewithoutyou. Unconstructive comments will be receiving the same copy and paste answer from here forward.
My time and content are free. If you do not like them, scroll.
General Taglist:
@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium
Azriel Taglist:
@elle4404
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niilue Ā· 8 months ago
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pounding sub!illumi to oblivion as we readers watch his emotionless facade fall. heā€™s moaning out and sobbing for more and thatā€™s exactly what we give him until heā€™s moaning/whining out of overstimulation. you can add whatever more you want to this!
have a good day!šŸ’—
ą·†Ā Ā Ā  Ö“Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  ׁĀ Ā  sub illumi
cw: dom!reader, male top, breeding kink, voice kink, illumi needy and vocal
illumi's emotionless facade had always been his defining trait, a mask of stoicism that rarely, if ever, faltered. but now, that mask was crumbling. you had him pinned beneath you, his body trembling as you pounded into him relentlessly. his long black hair clung to his sweat-slicked skin, and his usually impassive face was contorted in pleasure.
each thrust elicited a moan from illumi, the sound growing louder and more desperate with every movement. his voice, usually so controlled, was now a symphony of whimpers and sobs, a melody that spurred you on. you knew exactly how to break him, and you reveled in the power you held over him.
"more," he gasped, his voice barely a whisper. "please... more."
you obliged, increasing your pace, driving into him with a force that made the bed creak. his legs wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, deeper. every thrust pushed him closer to the edge, his body quivering with the intensity of it all.
"look at you," you murmured, leaning down to kiss the tears from his cheeks. "begging for it like a good boy."
illumi's eyes fluttered open, wide and glassy with need. the once cold, emotionless gaze was now filled with a raw, unfiltered desire. he moaned louder, his hands clawing at your back, leaving red marks in their wake. he was a moaning, whining mess, his voice a mixture of broken cries and breathless pleas.
"please," he sobbed. "please, i can't..."
but you didn't let up. you kept going, pushing him beyond his limits, watching as his composure shattered completely. his moans turned into screams, his body writhing beneath you as he came, his orgasm ripping through him with a force that left him trembling.
but you weren't done. not yet. you continued to thrust into him, even as he whined in overstimulation, his body convulsing with every movement. the overstimulation was exquisite, his mind a blur of pleasure and pain. he could barely form coherent thoughts, let alone words, and the only thing that escaped his lips were broken cries and sobs.
"you wanted this," you reminded him, your voice a low growl in his ear. "you begged for it."
he nodded weakly, unable to speak, his body completely at your mercy. you leaned down, pressing your lips to his ear. "i'm going to fill you up," you whispered. "breed you until you can't take anymore."
illumi's eyes rolled back in his head at your words, another sob escaping his lips. the thought of being filled, claimed, bredā€” it drove him wild. he was lost in the sensation, his body a puppet to your desires.
you felt him tighten around you, and with one final, powerful thrust, you came, filling him with your seed. the sensation pushed illumi over the edge once more, his body convulsing as he came again, his voice hoarse from screaming.
you stayed like that for a moment, both of you breathing heavily, your bodies entwined. then you pulled out, watching as your cum dripped from his spent body, a proof to your domination.
illumi lay there, his chest heaving, his face flushed and tear-streaked. he looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction. he was a mess, a beautiful, broken mess, and you knew you had pushed him to his limits.
but he had wanted it. he had begged for it. and you had given him exactly what he craved.
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sturnioz Ā· 2 months ago
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ik this is prolly a no buttttt would there possibly EVER be a scenario where fb chris would comfort bun? like a long day or like her dealing with a panic attack or somethin (im sorry im a SUCKER for hurt comfort)
... feeling generous for five minutes. you're welcome.
you can't pinpoint exactly how it all spiralled to this moment; perhaps there was no single trigger, but a tightness grips your chest, escalating into a wave of panic that leaves you gasping for air.
your heart races, pounding against your rubs as if trying to escape, and thoughts whirl through your mind like a storm, each one more frantic than the last, leaving no room for any coherence. you can feel the familiar dizziness start to creep in, blurring the edges of your vision until everything around you feels surreal and distant, as if you're watching everything unfold from a far place.
the weight of uncertainty presses down on you hard, and you struggle to remind yourself to breath, as if the air itself is slipping through your fingers that grasp onto the bedsheets below you.
the grip around your throat tightens, and you can't shake off the feeling that the walls are closing in ā€” the room feels too small, too confining, and you want to scream, but no sound escapes your lips.
instead, you bite down on your bottom lip, fighting back tears of frustration and fear. you wish you could reach out and grab chris, but the thought of disturbing him only adds to your anxiety.
you slowly glance at him, trembling, his sleeping form sprawled beside you, his head buried in the pillows. the tension coils tighter in your chest, and you can't help but wonder if he would even care if he knew. the thought sends another wave of panic surging through you, making it even harder to breathe.
just then, you notice a slight stirring as chris shifts in his sleep.
you hold your breath, hoping he won't notice what's going on with you, but a choked whimper escapes your lips by accident, betraying your struggle, and chris raises his head, squinting at your through sleep-filled eyes.
"the fuck you doin'...?" he rasps, his voice rough from sleep, needing to clear his throat.
"i caā€”can'tā€”i can't breā€”breathe," your words break as you gasp for air, and the tears you tried so hard to hold back begin to slip down your cheeks, mixing with the painful sobs that shake your body.
chris blinks at you for a moment before he huffs, "you can breathe, kid. you're doin' it right now."
you want to scream again, to scream at him, to unleash your anger and make him understand that this isn't just about breathing; it's a suffocating grip around your chest that feels impossible to shake off.
but the words get caught in your throat, and all you can do is watch with teary eyes as chris pushes himself up, shifting beneath the sheets closer to you.
he takes hold of your trembling hand and places it on his bare chest, right above his heart. "follow my breathin', yeah?"
"i-i can'tā€”"
"yes you can," he cuts you off, his voice low and steady, slicing through the haze of your panic. "you're fine, kid. just focus on me. you're literally breathin' right now... wouldn't be talkin' if you weren't."
you try your best to focus on him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath your clammy palm ā€” each breath you take gradually falls into sync with his, the tightness in your chest easing just slightly.
"see? y'got it, kid," chris murmurs tiredly, a yawn leaving his lips as he watches you. "panicking for no reason, yeah? you're breathin'."
you whine softly, sniffling as fresh tears spill down your cheeks. "chris.."
"no, don't." he shakes his head, his expression firm, but surprisingly not unkind. "jus' keep goin'."
his words hang in the air as you remain quiet, focussing on the rise and fall of his chest, trying to mirror his breaths. each inhale feels a lot easier now, though the remnants of your panic attack still claw at you.
"like that, kid," he adds, "see? not so hard, right?"
you nod slowly, attempting to regain your composure. it's not perfect, but it's an improvement to what you felt moments ago.
your watery eyes flit down to your palm resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm as his own hand is wrapped tight around your wrist, keeping you there.
in the quiet of his room, you realise how much you needed thisā€”needed him to help you. it brings that dizzy feeling back again, a confusing mix of vulnerability and something warm, but you try not to focus on it too much.
swallowing thickly, you bring your gaze back to his, mustering a small, wobbly smile as a silent thank you, a gesture of appreciation. chris catches your smile, his eyes flickering to yours before he slowly nods his head in response, his subtle way of telling you that it's okay.
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divider credits. @issysh3ll
Ā© STURNIOZ
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itwasntimethatdidit40 Ā· 5 months ago
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The right ones.
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Pic credits
Pairing: Soft!Joel Miller x reader, no outbreak (Sarah is alive and well)
Summary: Joel buys you pads. ā€˜Cause Joel provides, you know, no matter the situation.
Tags: established relationship, pet names (baby, honey), reader has period and hair, no other description is given, mention of period symptoms, mention of cramps, mention of pads, mention of Sarah, flirting, kissing, Joel is a sweet pookie bear, I think thatā€™s all? Itā€™s just some tiny little fluff I wrote because Iā€™m about to get my period and I need some comfort šŸ„²
I tried to write it in a neutral way so that every person who menstruates can identify with it, I hope I succeeded. (if you think there are things that need to be changed, just tell me and I'll do it ā¤ļø)
English is not my first language, no beta and no proofreading so any mistake is all my fault, Iā€™m sorry šŸ’€
Thanks to anyone who will read this!
Archive tags: @pedrostories ā™„ļø
Your cell phone rings.
ā€œHey! Whatā€™s up, honey?ā€
ā€œUmā€¦ listen, which ones did you say you need?ā€
ā€œThe ones with wings, Joel. Blue box, second shelf from the bottom.ā€
Usually you are the one who takes care of groceries and hygiene products shopping and by now you know by heart where they are.
ā€œMhā€¦ā€ you can see him. In the middle of the aisle, frowning, one hand on his hip and the other one holding the phone, one knee slightly forward, as he tries to maneuver through the boxes, they must all look the same to him.
ā€œThe ones that say ā€˜night, with wings, extra longā€™,ā€ you add to try to help him.
Silence follows, several deep breaths, an undertone of exasperation, you bite your lower lip to keep from bursting out laughing. You donā€™t want to make fun of him, heā€™s trying hard to make it right.
He offered to do it for you this morning while you were in the bathroom and you discovered that not only had your period decided to come early but you were also almost out of pads.
You let out a sigh and cursed, ā€œOh damn!ā€ You were in a foul mood, the cramps were making you squirm, your head was hurting, your back was tormenting you.
He was getting dressed, clearly heard you and asked worried ā€œwhatā€™s wrong?ā€
You walked out of the bathroom with your head down and one hand on your stomach feeling miserable ā€œUGH, my stupid period came and Iā€™m running out of padsā€
You sat on the bed and grabbed your phone from the nightstand as a terrible nausea hit you, and you called out of work saying you were sick.
His large hand caressed your face as he leaned down to kiss you.
ā€œIā€™ll go to the supermarket during lunch break,ā€ he said softly ā€œStay in bed and rest, okay?ā€
ā€œThank you so muchā€ you said, lying down on the bed again and burying your face into your pillow, feeling cramps clawing inside you ā€œyouā€™re the absolute bestā€
He leaned to kiss your cheek and then left the house to reach the construction site.
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
He had done it for Sarah one of the first times she had her period and he had bought the wrong type, the thick and bulky ones, she had looked at the box with a downhearted expression that had made his heart sink.
ā€œThose aren't the ones I wanted, Dad! I told you extra thin!ā€ She screamed at him between sobs.
Joel felt like a good-for-nothing.
Making Sarah cry was terrible for him.
He later discovered that his daughter's tantrum was also a side effect of her period and Sarah had apologized to him but Joel still felt that he was the one who had to apologize for his lone wolf status that didn't allow him to have someone by his side to ask for help.
He would have liked to fall in love, yet he had to make it on his own, he certainly didnā€™t have time to date between work and all the other things he had to take care of. Being a single dad was a full time job.
After that, Joel had memorized the type that Sarah liked best but she had always conveniently made sure to stock up every time they went to the supermarket.
It had been many years since he had bought them for her and he found himself back at square one. Packages are so different, he could swear there are a dozen new ones he's never seen before.
He pinches his nose, takes a deep breath and then he sees it, just like you described it.
"I found them!" you hear him say enthusiastically "I'll be there soon"
"Good job! I'll be waiting for you, love" you coo.
He grabs the box and he goes to the checkout.
You hang up the phone wondering if he really has the ones you want but in any case youā€™re already grateful that he used his lunch break to bring them to you.
When he met you he was convinced he would be alone forever.
You had reopened his heart little by little, with patience, without pushing him to do or say what he wasn't ready for yet and he had rediscovered himself as a man capable of loving and in need of receiving it. He was grateful for this, heā€™s madly in love with you and wants to do everything he can to help you in every circumstance.
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
Joel has quietly entered your room and find you asleep.
He sits on the bed trying not to wake you.
Your hair spread out on the pillow, your face relaxed, your mouth slightly agape and your hand hanging loosely next to your faceā€¦ you are so beautiful he canā€™t believe it. Heā€™s the luckiest man in the world and the least he can do is bring you the right damn box. He leave the bag on your nightstand, kisses you on the temple and goes to the kitchen to make some sandwiches.
You wake up after a couple of minutes and see the bag so you grab it to look inside.
Bingo.
Joel wasnā€™t wrong, they are exactly the ones you wanted. And you find your favorite chocolate bar in it too.
You hear him humming softly in the kitchen so you get up to go and congratulate your hero.
ā€œHey, gorgeous!ā€ he says to you as soon as he sees you at the kitchen door. ā€œHow are you feeling?ā€
ā€œBetter.ā€ you say, stretching your arms. Luckily the painkiller you took worked.
ā€œIā€™m happy to hear that. Go back to bed, Iā€™ll bring you a sandwich in a bitā€ You move closer and wrap your arms around his waist, leaning against his back as he spreads mayo on the bread.
ā€œYou donā€™t have to do all this, but thank youā€ you whisper ā€œI love you so muchā€ His body is warm and welcoming, you bury your face in his plaid shirt inhaling his woody scent, so familiar and seductive.
Joel is like that, he had never been good with words, his love language is gestures. And he makes tons of them, constantly, small and big. He remembers which flowers you like best, he brings you Chinese food when you tell him you had a bad day, he watches your romantic comedies with you even if they bore him, he lets you choose the music in the car even if he's old school and you're belting out Billie Eilish and Chappell Roan these days, if something in the house broke, you find it repaired the next day without even asking.
ā€œI love you tooā€ he says, dropping the knife on the counter and placing his hands on yours, holding you close.
ā€œYou got the right ones, I'm proud of youā€ you tell him softly.
He turns to kiss you ā€œGood, Iā€™m glad I could helpā€
The tip of your tongue grazes his lips and you gently make your way into his mouth, moaning against him while he fills his hands with your ass squeezing it.
ā€œMmm baby, don't provoke me, I don't have much time left before coming back to work unfortunately"
ā€œWe can always have a quickie, they say orgasms help with cramps, you knowā€ you say in a slightly pleading voice, looking at his big brown beautiful eyes through your eyelashes.
ā€œOh well then if it's for a good causeā€¦ā€ he replies huskily.
ā€œAnd then you deserve a prizeā€
ā€œI also got you some chocolate, did you see?ā€
ā€œOh yesā€ you say grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him into the bedroom ā€œI saw it and I love it, but I crave something else sweet right nowā€
Joel chuckles as he follows you into your shared bedroom ā€œsuch a dirty little thing you areā€
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