#screaming out my asshole
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.
you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?
okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.
but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.
i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.
and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face#but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me#while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning#while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep#and then she was like - ur just like my abuser#bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights#and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child#i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off#like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend#pushed me down in the fucking hallway#but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced#bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE#i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED#godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic#i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.
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#this is my sweet (asshole) baby (jerkface) Bacon. He's finally an adult and out of his wiggly stage so he actually cuddles nicely now.#He took such a cute picture today#guinea pig#Megzorzan Rants#He's spicy and temperamental and screams at people when he gets mad.
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This is an announcement and a promise: if you are a bad nurse, I am coming for you. If you are rude and judgemental to patients, deny them basic human decency you will face my wrath. If you take shit care of them, think you know better than not only the patients and your coworkers but the whole medical team then you cannot hide from me. I will find you and I will go toe to toe with you bc even the worst human alive deserves care and respect and I will beat that lesson into you and maybe make you grow a heart.
#adventures in nursing#to be deleted#personal#Im raging yall#absolute shit night shift with a shit nurse who did unsafe Callous care to a patient#she purposefully neglected him and I didnt realize til several hours in#US healthcare is inherently predatory and threatens our most vulnerable#it is our job as nurses to provide the best care to Everyone and to do our best to get them better#And I mean e v e r y o n e: the complex the homeless the assholes the ones with no money family connections#we take an oath to treat everyone with kindness respect and dignity#if you're a dick yeah I may complain about you to the other nurses to cope but I will still do everything to help you#I'm enraged I've let my manager know and absolutely screamed at another nurse who blessedly let me call her at 8am on her day off#i want her the fuck off my unit and i dont want her involved in healthcare anywhere but I cant help that#I did my best to care for the patient she abandoned but i will take ownership for not intervening sooner#and I will carry this rage in my heart and do my best to once again foster an enviornment of spiteful love on my unit#we love when it is hard when it is unwanted when it is neccesary bc it is my job to care when no one else does#god idk how much longer I can do this Im so burned out
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Tumblr users actually check and confirm what the source says before making claims challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
#sara speaks :3#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#tagging the main tag because of whatever asshole is going around making claims about AM that ARE NOT TRUE#he's done so much bs#why do you feel the need to make stuff up#i really wanna crash out over this but i'm trying so hard not to#if you think me talking the way i am rn in the tags is crashing out you don't wanna see the post in my drafts#im tired as hell yall
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just an fyi, i'm sorry i'm slow. at everything. replies, dm's, asks, etc. this is a hobby and i'm a tired 580 year old in spirit who works full time in the medical field and will be going to do more schooling for it. i follow people for a multitude of reasons but my vibe is always that i just enjoy seeing your content. i'm not going to put a time limit on when we have to interact/chat and soft block you when you can't meet that deadline. i try to interact or like posts when i can as a silent hello from afar. if you are following my blog and expect me to follow deadlines in terms of writing or even chatting, my blog is not for you. i am also not someone who has puppy dog energy to constantly be on the dash and chat and love everyone.
i am a cryptid old cat. i love from a distance. (◕‿◕) just a gentle reminder that i do this for fun, it's not a job.
#i'm only saying this to communicate since i feel like lots of people#take my silence or lack of attention giving as me losing interest in them or their muses#it's not. don't take it personally#and this is nothing about my current mutuals#it's about someone who soft blocked me but constantly complained on dash about interactions and soft blocking.....#always made me feel pressured ngl every time i saw them#and honestly when i did did try to interact or reach out i didn't feel much enthusiasm or interest back?#i try when i can#and when i can't i'm sorry. it's me not you#and honestly aiza.wa is my spirit animal#i need a sleeping bag with me constantly wherever i go ngl#and then i game sometimes#or just read or watch something or draw...#and with only a set limit of time i have in a day.... sometimes rping is not the first thing on my mind :(#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )
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sorry queen but a cheater is a cheater is a cheater and that's not a label i easily let go of
#obviously extenuating circumstances#but i don't mean i was traumatized and repressing my feelings blah blah staying with the safe choice#so u were an asshole.#so u obviously don't care enough about the person ur dating to stop for a second and actually think about the consequences of ur actions#and the fact that she didn't even acknowledge what she did#and just happily ended up with her man and her ex APOLOGIZED?#pick up ur head king ur crown is falling#and yes this is a major reason why i refuse to even support ronance#like it's my personal opinion and i'm not stopping people from shipping who they like#but i also want to get my thoughts out there scream into the void or whatever#as a lesbian from a small town i'll tell u i would certainly not date a girl who cheated on my best friend#so don't pull that argument on me#it just feels evil to me#like can't steve have ONE thing like ONE person in his corner#why make him constantly apologize and have to give way when he's done like. nothing wrong#first of all he was reclaiming queer duh#and he was right to be pissed#i get that it's two attractive girls and one is canonically gay#but ur reaching
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saw your post about no longer wanting to be a phan blog and i just wanted to say i get you especially the reaction to this tour has been very uncomfortable and i could never figure out exactly why it felt... overbearing ig??? but it has been building and the tour leak and announcement just seemed to put a spotlight on people seem to have learned nothing from the previous years and seem to think that now that they're back it's okay to push their boundaries because they're engaging with us again. and tbh i appreciate you for helping put into words the discomfort ive been feeling and it sucks that it turned out like this that the enjoyment of the thing gets harder because of others
I was so so hoping it wouldn't get like this again
The first 5-6 months of the gaming channel being back were mostly wonderful
Everyone was behaving and respectfully enjoying dnp being back as a duo
I've seen/felt it building up over the past few months but I kept ignoring it because I figured it was just newer phans who didn't know about any of "the lore"
But every time I'd check their page out it would almost always be someone in their mid-late 20s who has been around for 10+ years
I was dumbfounded
I genuinely cannot believe people still treat Dan and Phil like tv characters who exist purely for entertaining the masses
Its really sad
#i have had a lot of other dnp fans dming me and sending anonymous asks sharing this same sentiment#to my surprise#i thought i was alone on this opinion for a long time#which is part of the reason i tried to ignore the way i was feeling for so long#i think i started feeling something was off when the “dangender��� shit started#and then people started calling dnp autistic because they're weird guys#thennnn people started started crossing boundaries discussing their sex lives#jokes and bants about it are fine#dnp dont seem to mind that too much and make these jokes themselves#but phans (as always apparently) started to take it too far#people keep projecting shit onto them#and being overall disrespectful as fuck to both of them#so when i opened tumblr and the first thing i saw was that the tour got leaked#and saw everyone gloating and screaming about it on every corner of the internet i genuinely got super angry#i walked away from my phone for an hour then came back to quit being a phanblog lol#like you assholes couldn't wait a few more hours for them to announce this thing they've been busting their asses on for MONTHS#you just had to camp out on ticketmaster and overanalyze everything that they did in order to prove that you were “right”#but at least you were right right?#fuckin selfish greedy and entitled behavior#its gross and honestly dnp should not have to put up with this kinda shit
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The toughest part of fulfilling one of my biggest goals of becoming a writer was having to figure out how to not be such a fan of teams and players. I struggled with it early on bc my first story was about someone I had already made a ton of comments about being very talented. But this story has really fucked it all up for me. And I don't think it's a fan thing, I think it's just this person isn't a good person. Or maybe it is a fan thing bc I always thought they were a good person. It's weird to be in this spot where you see a part of someone's true colors and you have to keep it to yourself... and then actively avoid them and their friends.
#i lost 3 players i really fucking liked in the span of a week#like one of them was my favorite person on this planet#and the sight of him today made me want to scream#and pull my hair out#i hate all of you so much#the option to not be assholes was always there#but you three chose to not take it#delete later
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Every time I read a review of "Global South" country politics it's always "We are defying the US by doing this and this. And "This and this" is being friends with authoritarian regimes and not giving a fuck about victims of genocide. But hey! International leftist solidarity against the victims of American imperialism :) If you're a victim of any other imperialism then fuck you. We are building stronger relationships with "Usa's rivals" (regimes that are the reason you are suffering rn)
#the way I see Lula commenting on war in my country as if usa has the most important role in it#I want to beat this man until he dies ngl#I have more respect to evil people that are being openly evil than a useful idiots who are ready to tolerate evil for THE PEACE#or yoi went to visit China? Go visit Assad too asshole#it's like you people are afraid to call your politicians out on shit they do and just go around screaming AT LEAS WE AREN'T PUPPETS OF USA#it's embarrassing to watch and turns me away from these countries much more than USA ever could#because it's not someone describing you. It's you actually being garbage#reminds me on how africans bring up slavery in discussing russian invasion like...#YOU THINK UKRAINIANS ENSLAVED YOU? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? OR ARE YOU AN IDIOT?#vent
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when people rightfully pointed out that catra never compliments or comforts adora, a c//a stan said this:
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interesting.
quality time.. like this?
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don't you get it? catra is forcing adora into a position she isn't comfortable with, and gaslighting her to make her stay, because she loves her
acts of service? like this?
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she's giving adora physical and psychological scars, isn't that so nice of her?
what was the last one? physical touch? oh i've got a bunch of examples of that, you're gonna love it.
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this isn't unwanted touch or pushing away adora when she's trying to reach out, it's just how catra shows affection. right?
be for fucking real. either you haven't watched the show or you're deliberately acting dumb so that you can keep supporting abuse.
you're right. not having words of affirmation as a love language ≠ being a horrible person. however, constantly torturing and manipulating people and *checks notes* committing multiple war crimes = being a horrible person.
#people really want to make catra out to be this cute tsundere in denial#when she's just a major asshole#gee i do love it when my partner shows me affection by scratching my face up and screaming at me#spop critical#anti catradora#spop salt#anti catra#spop criticism#spop discourse#spop#she ra#and don't tell me “she changed in s5!” bc these screencaps involve scenes from s5 as well#she did not change
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I'M STILL IN THE FUCKING BENEFITS SYSTEM FROM THREE JOBS AGO ?!
#speak friend and enter#simultaneously baffled and not at all surprised. they're idiots over there#same workplace where my chef made me sign...something (he said it was a write-up but i don't believe him) without letting me read it first#(i panicked and signed it and live with that regret daily. don't sign anything ever under any circumstances if you haven't read it in full)#also same workplace where i walked out after my sous and i got into a screaming match so intense i popped a blood vessel in my nose#and then the next day i sent the the mystery signature chef the clip from brba of mike where he says#'yknow how they say 'it's been a pleasure?' it hasn't.' as my resignation#i literally never set foot in that building again so i have no idea if ive actually been severed from the organization#but given the email i just got i clearly haven't been.#but that's fine im content to let them continue to delude themselves into thinking they didn't do mkultra shit to their cooks#and that there's a nonzero chance that i'll come back if they beg hard enough. i won't#that job made me into an asshole and i refuse to sink that low again! SAD! well there's other careers
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(cw vent, sorry it's just been A Couple Of Days)
Not really having many irl friends comes at the price of feeling so terribly lonely, I feel like I have no one to talk to because I'm not close to enough people, or maybe I am and I just haven't talked to them in a while and I don't want this to be our first conversation qwq
I'm honestly just. Tired, tbh qwq
#I mostly talk to my partner#But they've been more absent lately and like they have their own life#But the second they're gone I realize I don't talk to anyone that much#I used to have someone else I spoke to daily; it was an awful friendship though and it took a lot of struggle to end it#But god; just qwq; I'm so tired of everything qwq#Honestly I'm disappointed in how upset it makes me that my partner is more absent because I know it's bc they've found a game they're into#And have been playing non-stop#They'll come telling me that they've done this and that and I'll be struggling HARD and will try to mention it at some point but#But like I wanna leave them their space to be excited but I just#Look. Look the NPD is getting to me; and I know these are not kind or fair feelings but#But I hate it here; I don't care about their game; I don't care about what they've done;#All my brain focuses on is that I've had a shitty fucking day and everything's gone wrong and they weren't here#Because they were fucking playing#And I know that's not fair for MANY reasons and that voicing all that would make me a massive asshole#And that at its core; it's more of a matter of never going anywhere; not having people to hang out with;#Not leaving my house nor talking to that many people#I feel so lonely and so fucking hollow qwq#My bag got taken away and I feel like I've lost an intrinsic part of myself#And to top it all off; I had today's exam and the project I'm doing#And my dad screaming and my period coming and all the things I have to do and how much I yearn for friends#Yet when I'm with my friends I can't wait to be alone#Man; just#I didn't wanna go this far; and I only say it here because no one's really gonna read it;#But I genuinely just wanna kill myself at this point#There's no point nor reason#I'm trying hard to enjoy life but nothing goes my way#I have so many things I want to do and nothing fucking goes my way#I'm so tired; I just want to go to sleep and not wake up; it's gnawing and clawing and it's such an ugly feeling qwq#I feel like if I cut myself I'd be even more pathetic; I wouldn't even be met with sympathy; just. Disappointment#It's been a while since I last self-harmed in a way that was visible
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peak couple dynamics. <3
#if we're shipping/starting to. consider me tagging you in this#i will be here writing and i apologize for being gone so long#also if anyone needs a tank main for mar.vel rivals....#i am here#it's so sad how unloved tanks are#so out of sheer pettiness and other players' unwillingness#to play this role#i'm a tank main now. strange is my fav though ngl#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )
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Tell me why there was a medical emergency on a day where a medical emergency should not have been involved lmao wtf
#not snz#on par when i had an animal related mishap at the station#had to deal with a medical emergency at my ranch hand job to even it out#like i literally went there to chill and vibe with the animals and unwind and breathe in non smoky air#and to keep myself active a bit bc they're gonna call me in again and if I'm still for too long I'm not gonna be able to move lmao#but we heard screaming and went to investigate and sure as shit there's peepaw on the ground#thank fuck asshole was there too bc he ✨ drove me there ✨ then decided to hang out again and help#so i didn't have to do hands only cpr for nearly twenty minutes straight lmao we switched off#but still that was a fucking work out like holy shit#was just trying to have a good fucking time but NO#like stop it i don't wanna be a black cloud anymore i wanna go back to doing nothing ever#hate it here smh#worth it tho bc i got to cuddle with the animals 😌#and I'm home now and get to go back to suffering and dying lmao#my lungs still hurt and so does my throat but we're just ignoring all that at this point#the inhaler helps a bit but it still feels bad man#but I'm cuddling and watching shows with him again 🥰#on god bro I'm gonna make this man so much food and take him wherever tf he wants to go#he's out here doing the absolute most lmao mans is in the medical field For A Reason#and he's making more tea rn ahdkaks we've been slowly working our way through the various teas i have and ranking them lmao#gonna make him some fancy ass dinner tomorrow idk i feel weird that he's doing this much for me ahdkakks#like bro already saved my ass from continuing to be on the fire line he has done Enough and i feel bad ahdkalsl
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daleks in manhattan such a funny fucking set of episodes. hot girlie with the world's silliest new yawk accent (she's played by a british woman) refuses to leave her devoted boyfriend after he gets turned into a manpig. dalek attempts to create dalek-human hybrids and is immediately done in by his own newfound humanity and also his buddies like. anticipating that he'll go human and assassinating him and stuff. andrew garfield was there fresh out of tenth grade or something doing his absolute damndest to sound like he might be from tennessee . hi andrew garfield you're doing so great good job
#there's a bit in the first episode where they think andrew garfield might've been killed and ten FREAKS the fuck out#hes like crying screaming tearing at the trapdoor etc. then they find out andrewgarfield is alive and ten is like. ok flirt and move on :)#in general it is just marthas bad luck to be in this particular point of his life bc i think. and this may be controversial#but if the positions had been switched and donna came before martha. he wouldve been like that to donna#just wouldve been nicer to her in family of blood + she wouldnt have a crush#but she also wouldn't put up with it for as long as martha did. he'd be a secretive asshole one too many times and shed be like ok outieeee#which she did do in runaway bride. like she very much did dip on him the second he made it weird#but IN SO DOING inflicted the remainder of that phase on a different perfectly innocent woman#not donnas fault of course. but sort of her fault. she did tell him to find someone to be there to stop him and he took that to hearts#which is . may i say. yet another reason donna and ten are twin flames. their good ideas save lives and souls but their bad ideas?#callous and selfish#not the point tho this is about my soft spot for daleks in manhattan
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