#screaming out my asshole | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 11 months

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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face #but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me #while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning #while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep #and then she was like - ur just like my abuser #bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights #and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child #i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off #like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend #pushed me down in the fucking hallway #but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced #bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE #i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED #godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic #i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.

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insurged · 3 days

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just an fyi, i'm sorry i'm slow. at everything. replies, dm's, asks, etc. this is a hobby and i'm a tired 580 year old in spirit who works full time in the medical field and will be going to do more schooling for it. i follow people for a multitude of reasons but my vibe is always that i just enjoy seeing your content. i'm not going to put a time limit on when we have to interact/chat and soft block you when you can't meet that deadline. i try to interact or like posts when i can as a silent hello from afar. if you are following my blog and expect me to follow deadlines in terms of writing or even chatting, my blog is not for you. i am also not someone who has puppy dog energy to constantly be on the dash and chat and love everyone.

i am a cryptid old cat. i love from a distance. (◕‿◕) just a gentle reminder that i do this for fun, it's not a job.

#i'm only saying this to communicate since i feel like lots of people #take my silence or lack of attention giving as me losing interest in them or their muses #it's not. don't take it personally #and this is nothing about my current mutuals #it's about someone who soft blocked me but constantly complained on dash about interactions and soft blocking.....#always made me feel pressured ngl every time i saw them #and honestly when i did did try to interact or reach out i didn't feel much enthusiasm or interest back?#i try when i can #and when i can't i'm sorry. it's me not you #and honestly aiza.wa is my spirit animal #i need a sleeping bag with me constantly wherever i go ngl #and then i game sometimes #or just read or watch something or draw...#and with only a set limit of time i have in a day.... sometimes rping is not the first thing on my mind :(#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )

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endlessfuckup · 3 months

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saw your post about no longer wanting to be a phan blog and i just wanted to say i get you especially the reaction to this tour has been very uncomfortable and i could never figure out exactly why it felt... overbearing ig??? but it has been building and the tour leak and announcement just seemed to put a spotlight on people seem to have learned nothing from the previous years and seem to think that now that they're back it's okay to push their boundaries because they're engaging with us again. and tbh i appreciate you for helping put into words the discomfort ive been feeling and it sucks that it turned out like this that the enjoyment of the thing gets harder because of others

I was so so hoping it wouldn't get like this again

The first 5-6 months of the gaming channel being back were mostly wonderful

Everyone was behaving and respectfully enjoying dnp being back as a duo

I've seen/felt it building up over the past few months but I kept ignoring it because I figured it was just newer phans who didn't know about any of "the lore"

But every time I'd check their page out it would almost always be someone in their mid-late 20s who has been around for 10+ years

I was dumbfounded

I genuinely cannot believe people still treat Dan and Phil like tv characters who exist purely for entertaining the masses

Its really sad

#i have had a lot of other dnp fans dming me and sending anonymous asks sharing this same sentiment #to my surprise #i thought i was alone on this opinion for a long time #which is part of the reason i tried to ignore the way i was feeling for so long #i think i started feeling something was off when the “dangender” shit started #and then people started calling dnp autistic because they're weird guys #thennnn people started started crossing boundaries discussing their sex lives #jokes and bants about it are fine #dnp dont seem to mind that too much and make these jokes themselves #but phans (as always apparently) started to take it too far #people keep projecting shit onto them #and being overall disrespectful as fuck to both of them #so when i opened tumblr and the first thing i saw was that the tour got leaked #and saw everyone gloating and screaming about it on every corner of the internet i genuinely got super angry #i walked away from my phone for an hour then came back to quit being a phanblog lol #like you assholes couldn't wait a few more hours for them to announce this thing they've been busting their asses on for MONTHS #you just had to camp out on ticketmaster and overanalyze everything that they did in order to prove that you were “right”#but at least you were right right?#fuckin selfish greedy and entitled behavior #its gross and honestly dnp should not have to put up with this kinda shit

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pierrelucdisaster · 2 months

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The toughest part of fulfilling one of my biggest goals of becoming a writer was having to figure out how to not be such a fan of teams and players. I struggled with it early on bc my first story was about someone I had already made a ton of comments about being very talented. But this story has really fucked it all up for me. And I don't think it's a fan thing, I think it's just this person isn't a good person. Or maybe it is a fan thing bc I always thought they were a good person. It's weird to be in this spot where you see a part of someone's true colors and you have to keep it to yourself... and then actively avoid them and their friends.

#i lost 3 players i really fucking liked in the span of a week #like one of them was my favorite person on this planet #and the sight of him today made me want to scream #and pull my hair out #i hate all of you so much #the option to not be assholes was always there #but you three chose to not take it #delete later

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tonya-the-chicken · 1 year

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Every time I read a review of "Global South" country politics it's always "We are defying the US by doing this and this. And "This and this" is being friends with authoritarian regimes and not giving a fuck about victims of genocide. But hey! International leftist solidarity against the victims of American imperialism :) If you're a victim of any other imperialism then fuck you. We are building stronger relationships with "Usa's rivals" (regimes that are the reason you are suffering rn)

#the way I see Lula commenting on war in my country as if usa has the most important role in it #I want to beat this man until he dies ngl #I have more respect to evil people that are being openly evil than a useful idiots who are ready to tolerate evil for THE PEACE #or yoi went to visit China? Go visit Assad too asshole #it's like you people are afraid to call your politicians out on shit they do and just go around screaming AT LEAS WE AREN'T PUPPETS OF USA #it's embarrassing to watch and turns me away from these countries much more than USA ever could #because it's not someone describing you. It's you actually being garbage #reminds me on how africans bring up slavery in discussing russian invasion like...#YOU THINK UKRAINIANS ENSLAVED YOU? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? OR ARE YOU AN IDIOT?#vent

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 1 year

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when people rightfully pointed out that catra never compliments or comforts adora, a c//a stan said this:

interesting.

quality time.. like this?

don't you get it? catra is forcing adora into a position she isn't comfortable with, and gaslighting her to make her stay, because she loves her

acts of service? like this?

she's giving adora physical and psychological scars, isn't that so nice of her?

what was the last one? physical touch? oh i've got a bunch of examples of that, you're gonna love it.

this isn't unwanted touch or pushing away adora when she's trying to reach out, it's just how catra shows affection. right?

be for fucking real. either you haven't watched the show or you're deliberately acting dumb so that you can keep supporting abuse.

you're right. not having words of affirmation as a love language ≠ being a horrible person. however, constantly torturing and manipulating people and *checks notes* committing multiple war crimes = being a horrible person.

#people really want to make catra out to be this cute tsundere in denial #when she's just a major asshole #gee i do love it when my partner shows me affection by scratching my face up and screaming at me #spop critical #anti catradora #spop salt #anti catra #spop criticism #spop discourse #spop #she ra #and don't tell me “she changed in s5!” bc these screencaps involve scenes from s5 as well #she did not change

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florallylly · 8 months

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sorry queen but a cheater is a cheater is a cheater and that's not a label i easily let go of

#obviously extenuating circumstances #but i don't mean i was traumatized and repressing my feelings blah blah staying with the safe choice #so u were an asshole.#so u obviously don't care enough about the person ur dating to stop for a second and actually think about the consequences of ur actions #and the fact that she didn't even acknowledge what she did #and just happily ended up with her man and her ex APOLOGIZED?#pick up ur head king ur crown is falling #and yes this is a major reason why i refuse to even support ronance #like it's my personal opinion and i'm not stopping people from shipping who they like #but i also want to get my thoughts out there scream into the void or whatever #as a lesbian from a small town i'll tell u i would certainly not date a girl who cheated on my best friend #so don't pull that argument on me #it just feels evil to me #like can't steve have ONE thing like ONE person in his corner #why make him constantly apologize and have to give way when he's done like. nothing wrong #first of all he was reclaiming queer duh #and he was right to be pissed #i get that it's two attractive girls and one is canonically gay #but ur reaching

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megumi-fm · 3 months

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#just rewatched Hamilton after years and. oh my fucking god. i forgot how good this was #the musicality + sound engineering + wordplay is insane i could go on for hours #the ten duel commandments / blow us all away parallels take me out like a fucking bullet every time #(hehe get it. bullet xD)#couple that with the stay alive (reprise) and take a break parallels and I'm- *SCREAMS MY LUNGS OUT*#the way the counting progression starts off preppy in TDC to turn into something haunting in the rest of the ost is just. fkin delicious #justice for anthony ramos though T-T #also. I'm never moving on from 'my dearest- angelica'#hamilton's an asshole though wbk #brainrotting again ig #megumi in the tags

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actual-corpse · 3 months

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Watching Avatar the Last Airbender...

Politely reminded of the time people wanted my head because I said that ATLA ruined storytelling because some people can't fucking think critically of media before trying to tell you what's so good about it.

I LOVE AtLA! Adore it! But like.... A majority of people watched Zuko switch sides and said, "Damn... What if we redeemed ALL the villains?" Without realizing Zuko wasn't a true villain in need of redemption.

But... The Redemption Game isn't truly JUST the fault of AtLA... There was a shift in the Moral of the Story. Idk how to explain it bc I'm half asleep, but like...