#scouts there but im not tagging him

[mildeleaf]

Misc heavymedic scribbles lets goooo

Inspired by some fanfic i read at some point

[iianian69]

boo

[mawklee]

needed to post the scene in severance that always makes me laugh the hardest

[jevilowo]

Went to France instead of making Soldier Ships. And then Forgor. Apologies.

Ranking Tf2 Ships Part 2: Soldier

Batting Helmet

See the first list lmao

It's hilarious, basically.

Sollycest

I think their combined power would destroy the planet. So.

Objectively funny also, however

Fireworks

Im like 90% sure thats the ship name but i havent touched my shipping website in months soooooo

Same genre as batting helmet, but objectively BETTER, because they actively meet each others' crackpot level. And there's minimal choking.

Seriously check out the tag on ao3 some absolutely BRILLIANT fics on there shout out to uhhh i think they're called Hanktalkin and they've written the best ones

Realistically would destroy everything around them. I'm beginning to think that would just happen with most Solly ships.

Boots n Bombs

SHOUT OUT TO BOOTS N BOMBS WEIRDLY UNDERATED DESPITE BEING THE FOURTH MOST POPULAR SHIP ON AO3. Crazy gap between bloody suit (1000+) and them (like around 450).

EMESIS BLUE. URGH. THEY KILL ME.

WAR! UPDATE. URGH. THEY CONTINUE TO KILL ME.

CUT VOICELINES. URGH. THEY SUCEEDED IN KILLING ME. I AM DEAD.

Lovely lovely dynamic, platonic or otherwise. At least Besties in every universe, team colours be damned.

And the YURI. ARGH I saw someone describe WAR! solly x demo as yuri coded bc of their "unbearably sapphic levels of miscommunication" which HAHA YEAH but I mostly mean the genderbendy art it's Exquisite.

Bonus points for when they're polying up they cule with Zhanna also. I had to explain the word polycule to a classmate the other day isn't that wild. Anyways the three of them match each others' freaks.

Cold War

When you're so determined for this idiot to not fuck your sister you fuck him instead lmao

Pretty fun in theory, in practice I think they'd both hate it.

Um shout out to that one fic i read once where soldier ruptured his throat giving heavy head that was. Something. I mean that in a nice if midly bemused way btw.

Helmet Party

Save me helmet party etc etc

The art on here for them is adorable genuinely the softest i see solly portrayed in fanworks is with engie

In canon Solly seems to respect Engie the most? E.g. Expiration date: stops choking out scout when asked to by Engie, takes Engie's "teleport bread if u want" comment as an ORDER, even the whole QUESTION whatsurquestionsoljer exchange felt very I ASK OF YOU, COMMANDING OFFICER!! What having another True American on the team does to a mf i guess. Scout isnt a True American he's french.

I mean i still like boots n bombs more lol but helmet party fans i see u and i love u especially when u make it yuri.

Fruit Scones

Look up the story behind the ship name guys its great

As a ship to me it's heavymedic but without everything that makes heavymedic the Ship Of All Time

Solly's pocket medic cosmetic is cute tho

Uhhh as long as soldier never made the germany connection i think it could work? Like he'd let medic do crazy shit to him and medic would giggle and kick his feet over it. Then again there's no way medic wasnt doing fucked up shit to n*zis during ww2 so ykw it would probably work out regardless yippeee

OH YEAH THE NICKNAMES whenever i play medic and hear a cmere sweetheart/pumpkin/sally/cupcake I lose all control of myself and suddenly become a pocket medic teehee.

American Aviators

Its a sniper ship and not sb so I automatically like it

Tragically not that compatible. Sniper would find soldier too loud and soldier would find sniper too unamerican in his shooting things from far away tactics.

They have potential to be good friends tho i think. I've always seen Sniper as a trolling god (see that one in character interview john patrick lowry did in uh 2014 i think) and Solly would eat that shit up.

Freedom Fries

Ehhh?

Art on here is cute. Don't get me wrong. Love that.

HOWEVER. in no universe would they actually Function as a couple. Sorry guys. 54727474 dead 277282848 injured.

I am also put off it because people flock to it (and, sigh, mediscout,) over boots n bombs in the emesis blue side of the fandom. I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING BY THE WAY, I GOT ACCUSED OF THAT ONCE AND HAVE YET TO EMOTIONALLY RECOVER, but i reallyyyy wish people would focus less on Most Toxicly Basic Yaoi Known To Man, and more on Tragic Doomed Yaoi Where Both Parties Actually Kind Of Like Eachother And Didn't Both Try To Kill Each Other (russian roulette and the grenade at the funeral). AGAIN I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING HERE PLS DON'T CONSUME ME SHIP WHAT YOU WANT GIRLYPOPS.

Sollypauling

I have a crack headcanon that he's her father so that's put me off seeing them romantically haha

I wrote a fic about The Fathering once at 12am and im still not sure whether i hate it or not so don't read it just to be safe <3

Magic Missiles

DIVORCED!!! *autism creature confetti gif*

Jay Pinkerton (comic writer) allegedly reblogged MM art once. And he refuses to let their dynamic go in the comics. I.e. "the heart wants what the heart wants, Merasmus". Truly their biggest fan.

I love them i really do. Only slightly less toxic than fucking adminpauling imo, and thats like britney spears dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot bweebwahbweebwahbwahh levels of toxic

Maggot Bears

Based based utterly based fucking detergent levels of based and thats like 13 or something on the pH scale (i.e. Extremely Based)

They do in fact destory everything around them, proving my earlier hypothesis lol.

Idiot 4 Idiot. Dumbass 4 Dumbass. They both get naked to pee. I love them. I want to be them.

Again, bonus points when Demo is involved. Uwaaa.

I love the lack of consistent ship name for them. East meets West? Maggot Bears? Boots n Brawn? Zhannasolly? There's one involving honey as well but i forgor it and I've been typing so much I've got pins and needles in my left hand so i give up. Peace.

[y0ur-val3ntine]

Hi

I just think he's neat

[sicc-nasti]

*in the same tone as Soldier in Expiration Date* I have done nothing but draw Scout for three days

[racmune]

@tf2shipswag

propaganda for the sniper/spy/sniper versus scout/fried chicken lady/pauling war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE A CRACK SHIP TO *YOU*. TO ME THEYRE SO MUCH MORE. ALLOW ME TO INDULGE MYSELF. THIS IS HEADCANON HEAVY BC THE FRIED CHICKEN LADY LITERALLY ONLY SAID ONE THING IN THE ENTIREITY OF CANON BUT WHO GIVES A RATS ASS!

theyre such a qpr no one even understands. beyond scout n the fried chicken lady's initial sexual encounter i like to imagine theyve become good friends. perhaps she was from boston as well and her and scout bonded over that, along with a shared sense of humor and laid back attitude. they hang out together and watch tv, get pizza and make out, talk about their childhoods etc. I JUST THINK ITD BE FUN OK.

her and miss pauling have their meetcute at a barbeque during the fourth of july. the fried chicken lady was invited to come along by scout and is just chilling and grabbing some extra meatballs for her plate. miss pauling initially notices her for being a pretty woman but as they talk and the night goes on they bond from both believing in keeping things practical. shes also a lot less uptight than miss pauling however, which leads to a lot of playful teasing (from scout too LOL)

i think scout and the fried chicken lady enable a lot of each other's worse habits and so miss pauling has to deal with two different messy bitches LMAO. also another headcanon i have for their dynamic as an entire unit is that miss pauling will be up late doing paperwork in her home office and they'll be sleeping on her bed, and when she's finally done she goes in and snuggles with them.

im just gonna leave out my thoughts about scout n miss paulings dynamic for the time being cause if i did id be here forever but i did already make a post on my headcanons which you can find here.

ANYWAY THEYRE SO FWB CODED. THEYRE SO QPR CODED. IM SO DELULU COCO BANANAS CODED. IM SO EXTRAPOLATING A CHARACTER FROM A 4 SECOND CUTAWAY GAG CODED. K THANKS FOR READING BYE.

oh also miss pauling and the fried chicken lady's ship name is "lady and the tramp" i dont make the rules

[gooopy]

LOOK AT MY SELF INSERT BOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cringe is dead i can do whatever i want FOREVER and that includes making a character to beat scout tf2 to death with my own two fists

[pantspissedinreverse]

medic with a contractor

old man moment

[abstract-hellbender]

TF2 silly guys drawing dump 🤪🤪 I still need to fully figure out how to draw them n stuff, but that'll come in THE FUTURE !!

[indigo6f00ff]

HEAVY TF2 TUMMY ‼️‼️‼️

tossing this to you like that one gif of someone tossing a frozen pizza into a river filled with eels which promptly start tearing the pizza apart. eel river pizza gif

(also another funny thing to me is that this was asked on anon. immediately after someone with a username that contains words in this very ask followed me. lol.)

[lover-of-mine]

people refusing to believe eddie is not perfect rip them but i am different like he is still perfect for me he is messy and fuck up and he is my little meow meow and i have the defendant case ready for anyone who tries to come for him my client is just a boy

Mood. He is just a boy. He can do whatever he wants. I am ready to defend him in a court of law. Look at those brown eyes. You can't tell me he's not perfect when he has those eyes. What's happening is a red flag? I can't tell, I have rose colored heart shaped glasses on.

[citypoprevival]

odette and marckus. their relationship took a sharp nosedive after odette's "death" (that admittedly, didn't really stick that well)

[y0ur-val3ntine]

TUTAN'KMON but Rapidin3s :3

I promised myself I wouldn't use this song for them when I first heard it

Anyways

Sorry for my english speaker buddies😔💔

[willyonilly]

these are very rough sketches + only 5 of them but do you see my vision

[oldkamelle]

Scout starting his day like any other, rolling outta bed (it's an off day so no rush, he can stare at his wall and groan in laziness a bit), chowing down some cereal, fucking about a bit with the others at the table before going on a run.

Him coming back, breathing a bit hard and feeling his heart in his cheeks as they radiate heat. Showering, getting dressed. Bending over to tie his shoelaces, he gets this small stutter-like cough that forces its way out with a squeeze of his lungs.

He just lightly smacks his chest, clearing his throat, before turning to leave the lockers. The confused look on his face immediately morphing to one of slight exasperation as he sees the colorful ponies prancing on TV (he loves Pyro, but it can be kinda unfair how he gets to hog the TV, what with Engie throwing Scout a look whenever he tries to change the channel, or the eerie silence bursting his eardrums when Pyro stop swinging his legs to stare at him).

He sits on the couch, arm thrown behind the cushions as he spreads out. Scout just half pays attention to the dialogue, waiting for the heat from his run and the shower to fade away.

His cheeks are still beating, now like a furnace letting off steam. 

Has an hour passed already? The weird feeling in his chest from earlier has grown to that of mucus-y mold wrapped around his lungs and heart, withering them away with each breath out.

In fact, now it feels like his brain has been replaced by his heart, what with it starting to quietly pound against his skull, like the hearts of whatever unfortunate bastard he had the displeasure of seeing when hanging out with Heavy in Medic’s lab. 

He can hear the thumps. Can Pyro hear it? He hopes Pyro's suit is thick enough to keep him from feeling the heat waves radiating off of Scout's forehead.

Heavy walking in, taking the shortcut to the locker room. Him noticing Scout curled up against the couch cushion, arms crossed tight over his chest, shoulders up to his ears, eyes not really following the moving pictures on screen. Him stopping in his tracks, asking Scout if he's okay. 

Sitting up, Scout twists around to look at Heavy, but this causes his chest to constrict, as if the bones themselves got pushed together, and it forces a couple of awkward stuttered coughs outta him. He tries to smother them out with a 'hey big guy'. 

Heavy's brows furrow, and he takes a step closer, looking like he's going to place his palm on Scout's forehead, muttering something about 'Scout does not sit around usually'. In a panic, Scout acts out a yawn, arms stretched out and all (his chest restricts again. He uses the yawn to cover the cough), retorting with a 'first I have to save your asses everyday, now I can't even chill as a reward?'. 

Heavy stops with that one step, throwing his eyes from Scout, to the TV, back to Scout. He nods, lets out a soft hum, and leaves (Pyro waves and mumbles at him. Heavy throws him a nod and a smile).

Two hours must have passed since then. Scout feels light scratches at the back of his throat, occasionally being reminded of the threat of a coughing fit with every movement. He's begrudgingly moved to his room, wrapped in a blanket in his bed. His feet keep moving and wiggling against each other lazily as the heat seems to stretch his brain against the walls of his skull. Will his head explode? 

Occasionally he'll press his clammy hands against his forehead or his neck. Anything to bite back at the flames eating away at his bed.

A knock at his door has him open his eyes. 'Scout. Wake up. It's time for lunch.'

Scout's stomach throbs, whether in pain or hunger, he doesn't know. But the mental image of chewing, swallowing, tasting, standing, leaving his blanket— Scout sighs through his nostrils to calm his throat.

He wants to stay away from the kitchen. He wants to eat. He doesn't want Medic to find out he's sick. He doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of being right, of gloating about Scout really being so careless, catching a fever even with all the nagging warnings.

Scout's head is going to explode. It's warning him, like a kettle left on too long, seconds away from splitting open in a gory mess, painting the walls like the battlefield.

His temple is covered in warmth. He shies his head away with a cough-inducing groan, burrowing further in the old pillow. Scout forces open an eye, the light itching his retinas, as he keeps trying to get away from the heat. He succeeds, not worrying whether that was a result of his futile attempts or the heat's mercy.

His headache intensifies. Scout can feel himself floating on air, its cold clashing with the warm, thumping surface under his head.

Is he being taken to Medic? Closing his eyes softly (his temples are radiating pain, slowly trickling down to his jaw. He wonders if his jaw will lock up. Can that happen?), he tries to sit up to the best of his abilities, to look at whomever, and tell him to chill out. He is not sick. Scout doesn't need to be babied, he's fine. Healthy, even.

In the midst of his groaning, Scout sees Heavy. Shit.

“C'mon man, lemme down. The hell are you doing?”

“Heavy, dude, I was sleeping. Stop fucking about.” Scout tries to mutter some anger or annoyance. The best he can offer Heavy is a coughless mumble.

His failed wiggles of escape are stopped with a simple 'little man better stop if he knows what is good for him', and a squeeze of the arms around him.

As if his skull wasn't still throbbing, Scout's head roughly connects with a hard surface, and his nostrils are filled with the tang of iron and antiseptic. A 'sorry' is drowned out by his whining.

So are a 'scheiße' and a high-pitched 'what happened', before the voices are fully snuffed out as Scout succumbs to the throbbing heat of his body.

It could have been hours. Maybe even days. Scout decides to not bother much with thinking, instead putting his efforts into purifying the air from the pungent acidic smell. His eyes burned through his eyelids.

"Ach, finally."

Scout is sure this has to be the ugliest angel he has ever seen. At least he was blocking away some of the blinding light.

"Stop whining, dummkopf. Do you have any idea what could have happened if Heavy hadn't found you?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He presses his eyes closed before successfully focusing on Medic.

"Scout," Medic plants a hand on the head of the operating table, the other close to Scout's side, as if Scout would escape at any moment with his withered legs, "why didn't you come to me when you knew you were sick?"

Medic was often angry. But it was always in the way that sent chills down your spine, having you gulp as your body got into a 'flight' stance. Rarely did it instead start a vortex in your stomach, heart deflating like a balloon as your eyes glued to the floor in guilt. 

Maybe it was the twitch in his eyebrow, or the way his scowl more so resembled a stretched out frown holding back a tired, soft sigh.

"You almost worried Heavy to sickness himself."

Had the doc always secretly been a softie?

"An’ you?"

Medic’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"Were you worried?"