#scoundrels

[drchucktingle]

ASTRONAUT 1: weve gotta get this alien out of your chest cavity now. its gonna burst any second. (raises scalpel)

ASTRONAUT 2: but this chest bursting killing machine has a different perspective (grabs partners hand) we have to hear... (ribs cracking. literally dies) both sides

[detroitlib]

Scoundrels indeed!

[from-a-legends-pov]

Star Wars Legends: Poll of the Week — Favorite Smart or Crafty Moments

Legends is full of moments where our heroes have to come up with unorthodox solutions to unexpected challenges — and some of the smaller moments can have a major impact. Of these examples, which is your favorite smart/crafty moment?

When her trail goes cold thanks to a bounty hunter, Han Solo finds missing Rebellion spy Scarlet Hark by going to the greasy spoon from which she’s been ordering breakfast sandwiches and intercepting her delivery order (Honor Among Thieves)

At the Battle of Folor, Kell Tainer and Runt pretend to be two whole groups of X-Wings protecting a damaged Millennium Falcon with Princess Leia on board (impersonated by Dorset Konnair and her wingmate using two A-Wings) to distract Admiral Trigit from the evacuation of Folor Base (X-Wing: Wraith Squadron)

Threepio and Artoo help Leia Organa and Han Solo break out of prison on Aphran IV by reprogramming the food service droid to think that Leia’s lightsaber and Han’s pistol are food rations (The New Jedi Order - Enemy Lines II: Rebel Stand)

When Lando Calrissian and Zerba are kidnapped by corrupt cops sent by Black Sun and about to die in a crumbling warehouse, their heist team rescues them by having one ship blow a hole in the wall large enough for the Falcon to fit through, after which Chewbacca swoops through long enough to drop one of the escape pods into the building so Lando and Zerba can barricade themselves inside (Scoundrels)

Luke Skywalker uses the power supply from his prosthetic hand to rewire the lock on his enclosure and escape Talon Karrde’s custody (Heir to the Empire)

Let’s create more Legends moments together! Follow @from-a-legends-pov and come join us for From A Legends Point of View, a fanfiction event where we’ll be building a collection of fics featuring Star Wars Legends characters (including OT characters) during the time of the Original Trilogy. Writer signups are open now — use our Signup Form to pitch your story concepts (Signup Guidelines here), check out our Event Overview and FAQ for more information, and encourage your favorite writers to participate! Signups are open through June 2.

[starchaserdreams]

Wolfstar Microfic: Scoundrel

“You bloody scoundrels, you come back here!”

Sirius and Remus were howling with laughter as they ran, each with pockets full of chocolate frogs from Honeydukes. They’d snuck in through the tunnel but gotten caught in the street, which was good; the secrecy of the tunnel wouldn’t be compromised. 

They ran as long as their gangly 15-year old legs could carry them, half-limping from the effort of laughing all the while. 

By the time they reached the outskirts of Hogsmeade, Sirius held out a hand to stop Remus and they paused, propping themselves up against a building while they caught their breath. 

Sirius could feel the rush of adrenaline even after they’d stopped moving, still felt a burst of energy, a need to do something. 

He grinned at Remus, ready to dare him to race all the way back to the castle, but Remus’ appearance caught his eye. 

His cheeks and nose were ruddy from the wind, his hair was wild, and his robes were long past reasonable. 

He looked wild.

Sirius couldn’t help but stare. It made him feel hot and bothered just to look at Remus like that.

Remus noticed Sirius staring, and his eyes went wide. Sirius couldn’t imagine what his own face looked like, but Remus must have seen something. Something he liked, because he stood up straighter and took two steps towards Sirius, backing him into the wall. Not close enough to be touching, but close enough to make Sirius’ energy rev even faster. 

“Sirius,” Remus said suddenly, voice deeper and lower than Sirius was used to, “Dare me.”

“What?” Sirius began, even though he knew exactly what Remus was getting at, even as he took another step closer. Sirius felt his back hit the side of the building. 

“Dare me,” Remus said, bringing a hand up to Sirius’ chest. The touch was featherlight, but enough to completely short circuit Sirius’ brain. 

He lost all sense of words. He lost all sense of anything other than Remus’ gaze, and his body leaning in, and his hand. 

Without speaking, Sirius put his hands on Remus’ hips and reeled him in, until they were only a hair’s breadth apart. 

Remus laughed ever so lightly as he was pulled.

“I dare you,” Sirius replied.

Remus closed the distance, and it was the last thing either of them said for a while.

@wolfstarmicrofic

[ultrafuturist]

"""literature"""

when i signed up for an account they held a gun to my head and made me pick from a premade list of fuckawful tags to follow. literature made the cut of one of the five least evil. already it is utterly odious. nobody here reads- they take screencaps of braindead coffee table poetry. meanwhile i have delusions of being captain yossarian. we are not the same

[trippingtroll]

*COPS theme intensifies*

[spockvarietyhour]

Edie Falco in Law & Order's "Scoundrels" (1994)

[pynapplepyro]

I thought I put smarted the system, but I forgot Tumblr is run by scoundrels

[stormsketch]

From a seafaring D&D campaign, here's my Felix and fellow crew member Elegy enabling each other into being absolute and utter chaotic neutrals. 🏴‍☠️📸

[itsawritblr]

Having already tricked Viola, disguised as the boy Ceasrio, into believing Sir Andrew Aguecheek wants a duel, Sir Toby Belch now convinces Aguecheek that the duel is the boy's idea. Neither of them want to fight, but Toby pressures them into it.

I adore how much Toby is enjoying this. A truly classic fucking scoundrel, which I love. Tim McMullan is fucking amazing. :-)

Well, so is all the cast!

Part 1

[sammperson]

[sadie-shrimp]

Creatures

[weirdlittleberry]

Drunk History (2016)

Ed Helms as William McMasters

[christinered]

Wisdom of A Redhead:

I am not afraid of the Freddy Krugers and Michael Myers men in our world.

These are the men who can cause me the most damage.

"Satan is a Sunday Hat." The Disarming, head spinning perfectly mannered men.

What makes it even worse is I KNOW THIS....It doesn't even matter that I know the outcome. Wicked Scoundrel Charmers...Just pray for me Lord....I can't help myself. It's embarassing.

Seems I am still just a wee little girl. Pity

~Little Red

He may be a cowboy, but I know the breed. His word is his word.

[rightnewshindi]

सुप्रीम कोर्ट का आदेश, 12 घंटे डिजिटल अरेस्ट और सीबीआई जांच; जानें शातिरों ने कैसे लूटे 73 लाख

#News सुप्रीम कोर्ट का आदेश, 12 घंटे डिजिटल अरेस्ट और सीबीआई जांच; जानें शातिरों ने कैसे लूटे 73 लाख

Hamirpur News: हमीरपुर के एक सेवानिवृत्त एचएएस अधिकारी से 73 लाख रुपये की ऑनलाइन ठगी का मामला सामने आया है। जालसाजों ने खुद को सीबीआई अधिकारी बताकर ठगी को अंजाम दिया। सेवानिवृत्त अधिकारी को धमकी देकर ठगा गया कि उनके बैंक खातों का इस्तेमाल आतंकी गतिविधियों में किया जाएगा। साइबर क्राइम पुलिस स्टेशन सेंट्रल रेंज मंडी में दी शिकायत में शिकायतकर्ता ने बताया कि 4 सितंबर को उसके पास एक अनजान नंबर से…

[lordgodjehovahsway]

1 Kings 21: Naboth Refuses To Sell Ahab The Vineyard God Gave His Ancestors

1 Some time later there was an incident involving a vineyard belonging to Naboth the Jezreelite. The vineyard was in Jezreel, close to the palace of Ahab king of Samaria. 

2 Ahab said to Naboth, “Let me have your vineyard to use for a vegetable garden, since it is close to my palace. In exchange I will give you a better vineyard or, if you prefer, I will pay you whatever it is worth.”

3 But Naboth replied, “The Lord forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors.”

4 So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat.

5 His wife Jezebel came in and asked him, “Why are you so sullen? Why won’t you eat?”

6 He answered her, “Because I said to Naboth the Jezreelite, ‘Sell me your vineyard; or if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ‘I will not give you my vineyard.’”

7 Jezebel his wife said, “Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I’ll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite.”

8 So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him. 

9 In those letters she wrote:

“Proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 

10 But seat two scoundrels opposite him and have them bring charges that he has cursed both God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death.”

11 So the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city did as Jezebel directed in the letters she had written to them. 

12 They proclaimed a fast and seated Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 

13 Then two scoundrels came and sat opposite him and brought charges against Naboth before the people, saying, “Naboth has cursed both God and the king.” So they took him outside the city and stoned him to death. 

14 Then they sent word to Jezebel: “Naboth has been stoned to death.”

15 As soon as Jezebel heard that Naboth had been stoned to death, she said to Ahab, “Get up and take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite that he refused to sell you. He is no longer alive, but dead.” 

16 When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard.

17 Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite: 

18 “Go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He is now in Naboth’s vineyard, where he has gone to take possession of it. 

19 Say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?’ Then say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, dogs will lick up your blood—yes, yours!’”

20 Ahab said to Elijah, “So you have found me, my enemy!”

“I have found you,” he answered, “because you have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord. 

21 He says, ‘I am going to bring disaster on you. I will wipe out your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel—slave or free. 

22 I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat and that of Baasha son of Ahijah, because you have aroused my anger and have caused Israel to sin.’

23 “And also concerning Jezebel the Lord says: ‘Dogs will devour Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.’

24 “Dogs will eat those belonging to Ahab who die in the city, and the birds will feed on those who die in the country.”

25 (There was never anyone like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord, urged on by Jezebel his wife. 

26 He behaved in the vilest manner by going after idols, like the Amorites the Lord drove out before Israel.)

27 When Ahab heard these words, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and fasted. He lay in sackcloth and went around meekly.

28 Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite: 

29 “Have you noticed how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself, I will not bring this disaster in his day, but I will bring it on his house in the days of his son.”