#science is not when you know things for certain it is very much the opposite

[overclockedopossum]

There is a straight line, and a short one at that, between this and those "i fucking love science" pages. You know, the ones that glorify not "science" in the sense of understanding the limits of our knowledge and trying to find out more, but rather glorify assertions of fact.

transphobes are on a different plane of existence than the rest of us how do you manage to come to these conclusions

[maniculum]

One of the things I’ve noticed working in a bookstore is that a surprising number of people are completely unfamiliar with the normal way books are organized.

(I mean, in the part of the store where we keep the used books, I frequently have to assure people that the books are organized at all, but that’s because we have way more books than we have shelf space and there’s no way to handle that without it looking a bit of a mess.)

On one hand, we get customers who are apparently a completely blank slate in this area. I frequently have to walk people through, like, “Okay, it’s organized by subject / genre, then by author. Oh, ‘by author’ means in alphabetical order by the name of the author. No, their last name.” (Most of the people I give this talk to are, I think, college kids — it’s a bit strange to me that you can reach that age without knowing how bookstores work, but then again, I can kind of see how these days it’s possible to mostly get your books online where you just use a search function.)

One customer responded to the above explanation with “oh, it’s the Dewey Decimal System!” and I had to be like… no. Similar in broad concept, yes, but the Dewey Decimal System is a very specific thing (involving… decimals) and it’s really only used in libraries, not bookstores, because it kind of requires you to label the spines of your books, which bookstores generally don’t like to do for obvious reasons.

On the other hand, we also get customers with pre-existing incorrect assumptions, which are so often similar that I think they’re being imported from other media (though I’m not sure what).

People seem to expect the organization of Fiction to be much more granular — e.g., “where’s historical fiction?” “oh, that’s just in with general fiction.” I think some of that comes from movies (people ask where the “rom-com” section is, and that’s definitely a movie thing), but I’m not sure that’s always the reason.

(Admittedly the fiction organization is a bit more granular in the Used Books area than it is in the New Books, but that’s because there are certain genres that we get tons of from people selling us their old books, but we don’t buy enough of on purpose to justify giving them their own section in New Books.)

At the same time, people have the opposite assumption about Non-Fiction — i.e., they expect there to be one singular section labeled “Non-Fiction”, which is not the case. I’ve had multiple conversations that go like:

Customer: Where can I find non-fiction books?

Me: You’ll have to be more specific.

Customer: You know, non-fiction.

Me: [gesturing at the signs hanging from the ceiling that say things like “science”, “philosophy”, “art”, “history”, etc.] All of these are non-fiction in their own special way.

I try to be nice about it, but I don’t think I always succeed, just because I’m so often legitimately surprised and confused when someone just doesn’t know How Do You Books. I’m getting used to it now, but I’ve been working there for almost five years, so there’s been quite a long adjustment period in between.

Anyway. Just some observations.

[junosmindpalace]

s/o asking dcst characters what hairstyle do they like the best on them? (like braid, low/high ponytail, bun, hair down, etc?) some fluff :)

preferably with senku, gen, ryusui, sai and tsukasa, but feel free to change the characters if you want to ^_^

thank you very much for you request!

a/n: if the premise didn't give it away...reader is implied to have long enough hair for styling in certain ways, but i did my best to be vague ;,)

SENKU: hair tied back.

-He’s not the type to care so much as to have a preference. Consciously, at least.

-But you spend loads of time with him in the lab, doing experiments or just spectating as he performs his own. Either way, most of your time with Senku is spent with your hair tied back. 

-Whether it be a headband or hair clips or a hair tie, you’ve gotta have it outta the way when you’re in the lab. So for the most part Senku is accustomed to seeing you with your hair back.

-And as everyone knows, science is his greatest love. He loves doing experiments, he loves learning about science, he loves talking about it, he loves it when people indulge him in his rants and is able to talk about it unfiltered with the person on the other end not only being able to keep up, but add on to the conversation meaningfully. 

-And you do all of that. 

-The connection here is weird, but bear with it!!

-There is nothing more attractive to Senku than someone who is passionate, and can keep up with him, as his general company usually cannot. Someone who takes an interest in his interests, and are capable and witty--and kind. 

-And because you spend so much time with Senku doing science related activities--going to museums, doing experiments, talking about theories, spending time in the lab--that big love of science sort of becomes synonymous with you.

-He starts seeing you just a little differently during all of those times when your hair is back; when you say something witty, when you laugh victoriously at a successful or aweful experiment, when you challenge his views with ideas of your own. When you best demonstrate your intellect and curiosity, all things that Senku finds leave a stirring in his chest and when he sort of views you at your most beautiful, your hair is tied back.

-So even though on the surface he really doesn’t care how you choose to wear your hair, subconsciously, he’ll always find you at your most beautiful when your hair is back, associating it with the thing that made him so attractive to you in the first place. 

“I don’t really care.”

“Can you not be difficult for once?” You deadpan from behind your goggles. He doesn’t even spare you a glance when he responds to your question, keeping his eyes trained on the various beakers in front of him as he circles the counter they were sitting on. You huff as you approach the opposite end of the counter, lowering yourself to be at eye level with his engrossed gaze. “I mean--really? You don’t have any style that stands out to you?”

“Maybe if you randomly shaved it all off.”

“So you like buzzcuts?” 

“I don’t care.” He repeats back, this time finally looking up to shoot you an irritated look through a slit in between two beakers, and you huff, muttering about how he’s no fun before getting back to the experiment at hand. 

But when he’s certain you aren’t paying attention to him any longer, he lets his eyes find you again, and they linger as he takes in your features. 

He can’t help but think back to your question as he does so, his mind simulating various styles he’s seen you wear your hair in almost like a makeover game. 

They’ve all been nice, every single one he envisions in his mind. Some quirkier and more elaborate than he personally prefers in general, but still; nice. 

The simulation ends in his mind's eye and he’s back to present day you, with your hair tied back as it often is with all the experiments the two of you work on, and he can’t help but think he has a certain appreciation he just can’t describe for it. All he knows is that he likes it and that it suits you it in a way that leaves his heart skipping a beat, and if he really had to answer your question, he’d probably say that he preferred this style.

GEN: hair down, framing face.

-It’s a more modern, glamorous preference, what can he say. 

-It’s pretty stereotypical, but there’s a reason why it’s so appealing. 

-He likes how perfect your hair looks, as if you came out of a dream. 

-It just takes his breath away; of course you look gorgeous any time, but when you go out of your way to style your hair all shiny with delicate and elaborate pieces framing your face, his breath gets caught in his throat and he’s staring a little too much. 

-It’s maybe because it’s more rare; you’re not always going to have the energy to style your hair so elaborately, so it’s more of a treat that he can’t help but appreciate. It’s a good kind of different. It only enhances your already gorgeous features and he can’t help but grow warm at the sight. 

-He’s embarrassing, really. It’s soo obvious he has this preference, but it’s also endearing the way he can’t stop making heart eyes at you. He’s sooo fucking smug with himself when you hold his arm when you wear your hair so elaborately, as if he’s showing off a treasure chest of gold--though not even all the jewels in the world could amount to you. 

-Also likes to twirl the framing pieces with his finger. He thinks he’s so slick, he tries to be 100% more charming. You just make him so nervous with how gorgeous you look, he feels the need to make up for his own feelings of inadequacy. Especially when other people also appreciate the look as well. 

“So you think I’m ugly, then?”

“I never said that!” 

You snort at his horrified expression, crying out defensively when you accused him of only finding you attractive with the glamorous hairstyles he had been dreamily going on and on about since you asked him, with his answer being a lot longer than you anticipated. 

“I’m kidding! But really? I rarely style my hair like that.”

“I can’t help what I like.” He replies simply, leaning an arm back against the trunk of the tree the two of you were sitting against as he leans over to tug at the ends of your hair. “It’s grown out a bit.” 

“Not like I can get a proper haircut in this era; or a glamorous look.”  You state frustratedly, observing both yours and Gen’s primitive clothing slightly distastefully. It could be absolutely worse, but you miss your old, comfortable, stylish clothes along with the elaborate do’s you’d get done for special events.

Gen could only turn his brows up empathically and offer you a shrug, pulling his hand away from your locks of hair. “Haaah…well, what can you do?” 

He stares at you from the corner of his eye, however, a playful smile dancing across his lips.

“You don’t need it, though. You look breathtaking all the time.” 

You snort again and roll your eyes at the exaggerated compliment, but lean in closer so you could rest your head against his shoulder. 

“Wish I could say the same about you.”

“Oh, you wound me.” 

RYUSUI: he likes them all…but likes when you accessorize your hair. 

-It’s criminal that you'd ask him such a question, really.

-When he absolutely ADORES all of them. 

-Each one makes you a different kind of endearing that he just can’t get enough of, from simple, lazier looks to time-consuming and expensive do’s that make you look like you belong on the red carpet--which he always thinks you do, by the way (not to mention he funds all your trips to your stylist).

-He genuinely has to wrack his brain and pick apart all of your looks if you really insist on him answering the question properly. He thinks of all the updos, all the curls and waves and straightening, all the specific cuts…and he STILL can’t pick a favorite.

-Sorry, you can’t get much more out of him than that. He can go on and explain the appeal of each one if that's what it’ll take for you to realize what you’re asking isn’t so easy to answer. 

-To satisfy you, however, he does say that he particularly loves it when you accessorize your hair in one way or another. He likes the creativity, and it just suits your hair type so well. Whatever it might be--pretty hair ties, any special head accessories, whatever--, he thinks it only enhances your already incredible look. 

“Ryusui, I don’t care about all that. Can you please just answer properly?”

He gets where your exasperation is coming from, truly; after all, he’s the one having the most difficulty answering your question as he illustrates in detail what’s going on in his mind as he thinks, every hairstyle having its own charm that he adores. 

“But how can I pick? I love them all!” 

You frown at him for a moment before eventually sighing and shrugging your shoulders, putting your hands up in surrender as you sit down on one of the benches in his workroom. “Okay, fine. If you can’t choose, you can’t choose.” 

“Exactly!” he says almost relieved, pointing the pencil he was using to make blueprints at you. But even so, he follows and takes a seat on the bench beside you and continues to go through that mental list of hairstyles he’s seen you wear as he leans his head back against the wall and eyes your strands of hair. 

There’s a pause between the two of you for a moment before he says, with all the seriousness in the world: “But you know…I especially like when you accessorize them.” 

You tilt your head to look at him and raise your brows. “Accessorize? With what?”

“With anything. Any way you wear your hair is gorgeous, but it’s somehow even better with something in it.” and as he says this, he brings the pencil he had been twirling between his fingertips up to your face, tucking it into the strands by your temple. You laugh when he pulls away, and he can't help but smile.  

Yup, any accessory.

SAI: anything with a braid.

-He is SO flustered when you ask.

-And even more embarrassed when you insist he gives you a straight answer after he meekly responds that he loves every single one of your looks.

-And it’s the truth!!!

-But you still want a singular, concise answer, so he thinks, nervous that this might be some sort of test he has to pass. 

-And like his brother, he truly can’t pick one specific look that he really likes. 

-But then he spots a pattern when he reflects on looks that he’s really liked and realizes they all shared a common feature: they all had some sort of braid in them.

-Doesn’t care about the style, length, thickness, whatever. Whether it’s one big one or two small ones framing your face or your entire head braided, he loves them. He loves the variety, and in general he just finds the design so beautiful. 

-He doesn’t admit it when he answers your question, but he finds himself even more in awe of your hair if the braids in one way or another are accessorized. A ribbon, a bandana, whatever, he thinks it adds to the look tenfold. But he thinks just the simple braids on their own look gorgeous.

“If this is another one of your tests--!”

“I promise it isn’t! Can you please just answer?” 

He stares at you expectantly, and a little bit nervously, as he tilts his head away from yours. 

“I mean…” he starts carefully, still not fully convinced by your words. “I like them all…”

You give him a look that tells him you aren’t convinced by his words, and he finds himself getting irritated again from the (completely unnecessary) pressure of the question. “It’s the truth!” 

“Yeah, but! Don’t you have one specifically?” 

“I don’t know…”

You huff, frustrated by his lack of response, and take a step away from him. He mentally sighs in relief over being free from the hounding. “Not even one?” You try for the final time. He pursues his lips and thinks on your question again.

He likes that one time you wore your hair up; he really liked that one. And then that other time you had a sort of half up half down. And those unique buns were also pretty nice...

And as he continues to reflect on instances where he found himself doing a double take over your hair, he realizes that all of them share one detail in particular. 

“Braids.”

“Hm?” 

“I like…when you wear braids.”

Not actually expecting a genuine answer, you can only stare and blink at him. His face grows warmer at the blank eye contact, pink rising up his face at your lack of a reaction. “What?!”

“Nothing! I just didn’t expect that.” 

But after your initial shock, you can't help but smile at how bashful he is over his answer, and he only grows even more exasperated (and embarrassed) when you now badger him about which specific braid styles he likes best.

TSUKASA: low styles, specifically hair down. 

-It’s simple, but it's the simplicity that’s so beautiful to him. 

-He likes to be able to touch your hair one way or another, whether by patting your head, twirling the strands or raking his fingers through the locks, and having it in an updo or some sort of elaborate hairstyle means he cannot do that. Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like them of course! But if he were to have a favorite hairstyle, it’s a more casual one. 

-There isn’t all that much to it. He isn’t one to find a specific style uglier or superior, but he likes that this specific style is so versatile; it doesn’t necessarily have to be open either. Whether it’s in a low hairstyle like a bun or a ponytail, he just likes the lower styles better. 

“What hairstyle do you like best on me?”

It’s quiet in the classroom the two of you are sitting in, most of the students simply lounging and drifting around as they wait for their next class to begin. You and Tsukasa respectively lean your arm against your heads to bring them closer together, faces only inches apart as you talk lowly among each other. A little break to catch up after spending the busy school day mostly apart. 

He watches you as a finger circles around a stray strand of your hair, brows ever so slightly creasing together. “Hairstyle?”

“Yeah, like…do you prefer my hair in buns? In waves? Think I’d look good with an undercut?” 

He glances at the hair curled over his finger and framing your face, thinking to himself for a moment as he mulls over the question in his head. “I like your hair right now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I like it down.” he mutters with a small smile, twisting the soft strands between the pads of his fingers, reveling in the sensation and watching the curl it creates bounce.

“You don’t like waves, or a cut of some kind or…?”

“I do. But you said to pick one, right?”

And with all the love and attention he’s showing your hair as he delicately cards his fingers through the strands, you can’t help but smile and hum in validation, satisfied enough with his answer. Enjoying the relaxing sensation of your hair being played with, you rest your head down on the desk, and he smiles at your content expression.

[iridecsense]

 Lip Smacker - m.

⤷ summary: in which izuku, katsuki, and shouto make a bet about what flavor chapstick you wear.

word count: 4.8k   pairing: tdbkdk | fem!reader   warnings: none ♡   genre: crack, smut | lime author’s note: This is a COLLEGE AU, meaning all characters are aged up to 18+ consenting adults—more specifically all characters are in their 20s.

If there was one thing about you that everyone knew, it was that you were not one to shy away from PDA with anyone. And by anyone, that means anyone. It was no secret you were overly-affectionate, especially with your friends. It wasn't a bad thing, just a little jarring at times. 

You were a big cuddler. It was absolutely normal to embrace one of your friends and hold them hostage on the common room couch. It was practically routine. Holding hands was another habit of yours. You hated walking to class alone, and whoever you convinced to go with you would have your hand tightly wrapped around theirs the entire time.

There were other ticks too, like how you’d sit on the nearest person’s lap even if there was space for you elsewhere, or when you essentially tackle your friends into a hug when you got too excited, which was surprisingly quite often. It’s just how you were, and your friends had long since accepted that. 

There was one thing, however, that a certain group of testosterone-heavy someones couldn't wrap their heads around. As harmless and simple as it may have seemed to you, it really stirred up tensions with your guy friends. Out of all your little ticks, there was one tick you loved to do the most, and that was kiss.

It wasn’t a sexual thing. In fact it was far from it. You kissed everyone, including your girl friends. Truthfully, you kissed your girl friends more often than your guy friends, but it didn't change the fact that you kissed a lot. Like... a lot. So much so that the guys of your dorm have a bit of a competition around it. 

You see, you were a very pretty girl. You were sweet and kind, and adorable, and all the things guys fawn over in a spritely young woman such as yourself. Having someone like you around the dorms was a blessing for them. A pretty girl who isn’t afraid of some platonic touching with the opposite sex? What an absolute win!

“I’m telling you guys, y/n totally wants me!” Denki burst into the common room.

“Did you take the stairs? Why are you sweating?” Mina asked, turning around on the couch to face him.

“Yeah, the elevator was too slow,” he huffed, throwing his bag on the floor and jumping onto an empty chair.

Jirou scrunched her nose. “We live on the third floor why are you sweating that much?” 

“Oh my GOD, did you guys not hear what I said?” Denki groaned, changing the subject. “y/n wants me! She wants my plug in her outlet, and she wants me to stick it in and out all night long!” 

The room erupted into a sea of disgusted groans. A rogue pillow found itself impacted in Denki’s face, courtesy of Mina. 

“Ew, dude?!” Jirou cringed. 

Kirishima shook his head disapprovingly. “Come on, man. Not cool.” 

“That’s just gross,” said Sero.

“Trust me, the last thing y/n wants is any of...” Mina gestured to Denki. “that.”

“I know I am going to regret asking you this, but what happened to make you think that she wants you.” Kirishima curiously asked. 

Denki smiled and excitedly made his way to sit on the open seat between Mina and Kirishima. 

“I was walking back from class, right? And I saw y/n walking to class on her own. So, I ran up and offered to walk with her there. She smiles all big, bats her eyes and goes ‘Oh Denki, thank you so much! I’m so happy you’re here! Why don’t you just take me already, oh-hoo-hoo-hoo~!’”

Jirou rolled her eyes. “She did not say that.” 

“She might as well have!” He countered rather defensively. “Anyway, she takes my hand and––dude, she’s so close to me I can smell her shampoo—she's brushing against my arm, laughing at all my jokes; and when we get to the science building she’s all big-eyes and pouty lips, ‘Thank’s again Denki, you are such a good friend,’ and then, boom! She lays one on me, right here!” He points to his left cheek where there was a faint pink glossy mark. 

“Oh, so like, what she’s like with literally everyone else,” Sero bleats. 

“Nah man, you weren't there, you didn’t see the way she looked at me! Those were fuck me eyes, I’m telling you.”

Jirou suddenly stood from her seat in the lounge chair. “Seriously, guys? If you’re gonna keep talking about y/n like that, I’m leaving. You guys are gross. Animals.”

“Yeah, I’m out too.” Mina followed Jirou to their room leaving the boys to themselves.

“I don’t know what they’re so mad about. They get to room with her. If I got to share a room with y/n I'd be the happiest man on earth,” Denki swoons.

“Yeah because you’d be the last man on earth, dipshit,” Sero snickers, causing the others to laugh. 

Denki’s cheeks turn red. “Whatever! You guys are just jealous because y/n likes me the most.”

“What, because she kissed you once on the cheek? Please, she’s kissed me at least three times,” Sero not-so-humbly brags.

Denki shoots up from his seat. “No way!”

“Yeah, and even then, it’s obvious who her favorites are, and—newsflash—it's not you or me.”

Just as Sero was picking apart the last bricks of hope Denki had left, the elevator dinged, revealing the other occupants of the floor. 

Kirishima smiled. “Sero’s right. Your little science building peck ain’t got nothing on whatever the fuck those three got going on with her.” He gestured to the three boys who leisurely walked in.

“What are you guys talking about?” Izuku asked as he stepped from the elevator with Katsuki and Shouto following behind. 

“We were just trying to see which one of us is y/n kisses the most to figure out who her favorite among the guys is,” Sero answered.

Katsuki sucked his teeth, his already permanent frown deepening. “Do you idiots really have nothing better to talk about?”

“It’s easy for you to not care when she’s all over you 24/7,” Denki pouts. “‘Katsuki can you open this for me please? Katsuki can you walk with me to psych? Katsuki can I lay on your lap while you play overwatch?’” Denki offensively mimics the sound of your voice. 

The common room erupted into snickers, turning the hot-headed blond’s neck red. “Watch it, dumbass,” he warns.

“Well, if you’re really that curious, I believe it's me,” said Shouto confidently, earning everyones attention. 

Katsuki’s brow twitched. “Oh, yeah? What makes you think that Icy-hot?”

“I can think of many occasions when y/n has kissed me and most of them were on the mouth. I think that would make me the favorite,” he stated as if it were fact.

It was this revelation that captured the attention of everyone in the room with great surprise. 

“You’ve kissed y/n on the mouth multiple times?” Sero gawked.

“She kissed me,” he clarified cooly.

“No way Shouto kissed y/n on the mouth before me!” Cried Denki dramatically, causing Shoji to comfort him. “That sneaky bastard preyed on our sweet, innocent girl and took advantage of her!” 

“I told you, she kissed me,” Shouto reiterated once more, becoming increasingly irritated.

Kirishima gave a heavy-handed pat to his back. “Congratulations, dude! I didn’t know you had it in you,” he smiled encouragingly.

Katsuki scoffed and crossed his arms. “So what? y/n’s kissed me on the lips too, and some of them weren't just innocent pecks neither.”

A strangled cry muffled by Shoji’s chest escaped Denki’s lips. 

“Guys should we really be talking about this?” Izuku shifted nervously. 

“Don’t go acting all high and mighty, Deku!” Yelled Katsuki. “I saw you and y/n kissing at the culture festival last month!”

“Stalk much?” Sero muttered snarkily under his breath.  Izuku’s cheeks went red and a coy smile spread across his lips. “Well...”

Denki broke free from Shoji’s strong arms and rushed towards Izuku, taking him by the collar. His reddened cheeks were stained with tears and nostrils flared. “Is this true Midoriya? Please, tell me it isn't true!”

“It is,” Izuku admitted, completely flustered and somewhat scared of his passionate, but clearly deranged friend. 

Denki fell to his knees. “You have to tell me what it was like! Was there tongue? How soft were her lips? What did she taste like? Tell me, I need to know!”

“This is getting sad,” Kirishima frowned, genuinely concerned, and Sero nodded in agreement. 

“I-I don’t know,” Izuku stuttered. “It was nice, I guess...” His mind went back to the day she kissed him at the festival by the taiyaki booth, and all the other times she’d placed her lips on his. He smiled softly. “Her chapstick tastes like watermelon.”

Denki smiled. “Watermelon,” he hummed. “Why didn't I think of that, that’s perfect for her! Fresh and sweet, just like her!”

“It’s not watermelon, idiot,” Katsuki spoke up. “It’s vanilla. It's always been vanilla.”

Izuku furrowed his brows. “Vanilla?” 

“Now that I think about it vanilla does suit her style better,” Denki muttered to himself. “I think Bakugou might be right on this one!”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s watermelon,” Izuku asserted. 

“Strawberry.”

Everyone turned to Shouto, who all of the sudden looked very serious. “Her chapstick is strawberry flavored.”

The three boys locked eyes in an intense stare-off. Kirishima and Sero shared a look and identical smirks, hatching the same idea. 

“Why don’t we make this interesting,” Sero cut in, his mischievous grin glinting. “Why don't we make it a bet? Watermelon vs. Vanilla vs. Strawberry. Whoever is right can claim that they’ve kissed y/n the most, and therefore is her favorite.”

“I’ll take that bet,” says Izuku confidently. 

Katsuki scoffed. “You seem pretty confident for a jackass that’s about to lose!” 

“The same could be said about you too, Bakugou” Shouto quipped, poking the blond’s already short-temper. 

While the three fought, the rest of the boys that still littered the room placed their educated bets, spreading the word to the others in a group chat. Soon all of class 1-A and some of class 1-B had placed their bets on what flavor chapstick you wore. 

All of this, of course, was unbeknownst to you as you were conveniently left out of the betting chat, along with Mina and Jirou as were your closest friends and would undoubtedly blab to you about the whole thing. You had to be kept in the dark, which made the events of the following week rather...interesting.

It started the next day, after bets had been placed and the tension between Shouto, Katsuki, and Izuku manifested in their sudden desperate efforts to cater to your every need. You didn't suspect anything at first. You’d just assumed that the boys were being kind. 

You woke up early, two hours earlier than when you needed to be up in preparation for your first class. It was sunrise and despite you still being tired, you couldn't fall back asleep no matter how hard you tried. Giving up, you slipped from your bed and into your robe and slippers. Groggily, you made your way to the kitchen to make yourself a mug of coffee to sip on while you watched TV in the common room until you decided to start your day. 

It was there that you ran into Shouto, standing in his pajamas over a hot stove cooking a fried egg. His back was turned to you and you debated announcing your presence. However, you should have known the son of the number one hero was always incredibly keen on his surroundings. 

“Would you like some?” His question hung in the air, waiting for you to catch it.

“You don’t have to,” you sputter, suddenly flustered. “It looks like you’re almost done. I was just getting some coffee.” You said as you stood at the kitchen island. 

Without saying a word, he grabbed the bowl full of fried rice at his side and slid the fried egg on top, drizzling a demi-glace sauce on top before turning around and placing it in front of you. He took your mug from your hands and replaced it with a spoon. You watched him, almost starry-eyed, as he placed your mug under the coffee machine and pressed the button to make it brew with coffee. He said nothing, and made himself another bowl. 

You smiled softly and took a seat on a stool at the island, deciding to watch him cook instead of another episode of Too Hot To Handle. 

“Thank you, Shouto,” you said as you scooped a spoon full of rice into your mouth. You hummed in delight. 

Shouto’s lips twitched into a barely-noticeable smile, not that you could notice it with his back facing you. “Do you like it?” He asked. 

“I love it!” You praise. “I didn’t know you could cook so well!”

Shouto did the same as he did before, taking his bowl of fried rice and covering it with a hot egg and demi-glace sauce. He found himself a spoon and walked over to the coffee machine, which had filled your mug with hot, black coffee. He grabbed it too, and came over to take a seat at your side. Reaching his long arms to the center of the isle he brought closer the sugar and creamer for your brew. You thanked him again. 

“My sister Fuyumi is the better cook,” he told you. “She taught me how to make a few things for myself while I am away at university. Quick, simple meals, like rice and ramen. Nothing special.”

“Thank goodness for your sister then,” you said. “Maybe I should wake up this early everyday so I can steal more of your delicious breakfast, simple or not.”

You giggled to yourself and took another bite. Shouto watched you from the corner of his eye. He’d never seen you like this, in the morning with a fresh face and your hair tied back, dressed in your pajamas and a robe that hung loosely off one shoulder. 

It is in moments like these, when Shouto finds himself alone with you that he is reminded of your magnetic attraction. Even he could not resist it, the thing about you that cast a spell upon all those you meet, rendering them your adoring subjects. He ate silently beside you, only occasionally engaging in small talk when you incited it. When you had finished, he reached for your empty bowl, prepared to clear it for you, but your hand gripped his wrist. You stood from your stool. 

“The least I can do is clean the dishes. You should go. I know you’re only up this early to train before class.”

Though it was your hand that encased his left wrist, it was he that felt burnt by your touch. You took the bowl from his hand and collected his from the isle counter to wash, but not before you stood on the tips of your toes to plant a soft peck to his lips on your way to the sink. It was sweet, innocent even, perhaps only lingering a half-a-second longer than it should’ve. But unlike the many previous kisses you’ve shared before, he licked his lips and could not help the smirk that appeared in response to the taste of candied strawberries that lingered on his tongue. 

“I was right,” he muttered to himself. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Right about what?” 

Shouto cleared his throat, his cheeks tinted pink. You’d never seen him do that before.  

“I mean, you were right,” he corrected himself.  “I should go. I’ll see you later, y/n.”

You nodded your head. “Oh, alright. See you later!” You called after him as he left to return to his room. 

The rest of the day went on rather normally. You had gotten ready and got to class on time (something that was rare) feeling particularly spritely and energized. You assumed it had something to do with having an actual breakfast instead of a singular mug of coffee. You reminded yourself to thank him properly the next time you saw him. 

Around lunchtime was when you encountered Katsuki. You had just gotten yourself lunch from one of the dining halls to eat at one of your favorite spots outside. It was a particularly nice day, especially for the dead of winter, so you decided to not let it go to waste. On your way there you saw a familiar mess of blond hair ahead of you. 

“Katsuki!” You yelled excitedly, quickening your pace to catch up to him.

His shoulders tensed and he stopped in his tracks, craning his neck to look behind him and expected to find someone annoying headed his way. He relaxed only a little when he saw it was you. Still someone annoying, but a lot less annoying than all of the people he knew. Once you reached him you gave a bright grin. The sun shone down on you, igniting the highlights of your hair and the color in your eyes, imitating an almost heavenly glow; the kind that even he couldn't deny made you look perfect. It was one of the many things about you that pissed him off. 

“Where ya goin’?” You asked in an almost sing-song voice. 

“Back to the room to take a nap, why?” He grumbled.

You held up your plastic bag of food. “Want to have lunch with me? I have extra.”

“No.” He said simply and began walking towards the dorm. 

You pouted, a small whine came from your chest and you chased after him. “Please, Katsuki?” You begged. “I don’t want to eat alone today. Besides, who else is going to help me eat all this spicy pork curry?”

He sighed, once again stopping his journey to his comfortable bed that had been calling his name since his 8 AM class. You smiled triumphantly, knowing you had won. He looked down at your heavy plastic bag full of what he now knows is spicy pork curry and other side dishes. Sucking his teeth he grabbed the food from your hand. “You’re lucky I’m fucking starving. Why buy so much if you weren't going to eat all of it?” 

He nagged you all the way to the campus arboretum, where you had a special place among the grass and trees you liked to sit and eat at. He was only giving you a hard time because it kept him from thinking about how pretty you looked in your dress, or how cute you had sounded begging him to come eat with you. He didn't want to think about how your arm often bumped his because you had an awkward, lop-sided gait, or about the smell of your perfume. All he wanted to do was get to your picnic spot and eat. So he did. 

The two of you ate together on a blanket you had brought. You’d gotten on the topic of final exams which turned into a shit-talking fest about who you both felt in your class would pass and who would fail. He found it very easy to talk to you and you never made him feel bad about the things he said, unlike most people who spend most of their energy scolding him instead of just talking. Not you though. You always let him talk. 

It was when he said something that made you laugh that you accidentally spilled your soda on your dress. You cursed and fumbled for napkins to dab it clean, but the stain was evident. 

“Dammit!” You groaned. “I have class in fifteen minutes I don't have time to change.”

You were so busy cleaning your mess, it wasn't until you felt the weight of Katsuki’s thick hoodie plop over your head that you knew he had even taken it off. You snorted a chuckle and pulled your head threw the neck hole to see him left in his black compression shirt. 

“Take it dumbass,” he told you. 

“You won’t be cold?” You asked. 

“I’m done for the day. Just bring it to my room later.” He said. 

You smiled and pushed your arms through the sleeves, pulling the oversized hoodie over you to cover the stain. It was...toasty, you think is the correct word, and it smelled like his cologne. You closed your eyes and held the fabric to your nose, inhaling his scent deeply. Katsuki furrowed his brows as he watched you.

“It smells so good!” You practically moan. “And it’s so warm. It’s like I’m getting the best hug in the world. A Kaachan hug!” You teased, snickering to yourself. 

Katsuki’s face grew hot, and he pinched your cheek, tugging with his fingers, making you yelp and whine from the minuscule pain. “Who told you to call me that, huh? Can’t you just say thank you like a normal person? I can take my hoodie back and let you walk around with a shitty stain on your dress.”

Your hand gripped his arm, attempting to pry him off. “Okay, okay!” You yell, half laughing, half hissing in pain. “I’m sorry! Thank you!”

Satisfied he let your cheek go, and you soothed the spot by rubbing it in circles with your hand. You pouted while he cleaned the blanket of your mess and threw the trash away while you folded it back up. He decided to walk you to class since he had nothing better to do and he knew you wanted him to (certainly not because he wanted to). When you made it to the entrance of your building you stopped and turned towards him. 

“Thanks for walking me and for the hoodie,” you smiled. “I’ll see you back in the dorms.”

You started to turn around when you felt his hand wrap around your arm, keeping you in place. Confused, you stood still. You might have been imagining things, but from where you stood, it looked as though his cheeks were flushed red. 

“What’s wrong, Katsuki?” You asked, concerned. 

“Don’t I...get a kiss?” He couldn't believe what he was saying. 

“A kiss?” You repeated, also not believing what he was saying.

“As a thank you,” he explained.

Your lips twitched into a teasing smile. “I thought you didn't like it when I did that in public.”

“When has that ever stopped you before!” He countered, his cheeks growing redder. 

You laughed and took a step closer, closing the gap between you. You craned your neck up to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips. Unsatisfied, Katsuki sucked his teeth and reached his hand up to your chin, turning your head in a position for him to press his lips against yours, and kissed you. It was unexpected, but after a few seconds, the shock drifted away, and you closed your eyes, returning the kiss. It was longer than the kiss you shared with Shouto earlier that day, but not by much; and once it was over, he licked his lips. 

‘Vanilla...’ He thought as he pulled away. 

His hand fell from your chin and he sighed. “Hurry before you’re late,” was all he said before turning around and walking back towards the dorm, leaving you in a post-kiss daze. 

You made it to your class, albeit, late because your mind kept trying to make sense of the kiss that you’d accidentally passed the door to your classroom...twice. Of course, you had kissed Katsuki before. Kissing him on the lips wasn't necessarily a rare occurrence either. But never had he incited a kiss on his own—and in public? Well, that wasn't even in the realm of possibility before. No matter how many times you tried to convince yourself it wasn't strange, you couldn't help but feel suspicious. 

As you dissociated from your lecture your brain kept replaying the kiss, searching for a reason to why the kiss felt different. No, it didn't feel different. It felt strange. But it only felt strange because something about it felt familiar. It shouldn't have felt familiar. If a guy initiates a kiss with you for the first time it shouldn't feel familiar. Why did it feel familiar? 

And then it hit you. He licked his lips. 

He licked his lips!

Your brain switched to your kiss with Shouto earlier in the day. After you kissed him he had licked his lips too. You thought it was weird then, but didn't think twice about it. Now you were thinking twice.

‘I’m just being crazy,’ you thought. 

In what way could the kisses be related? What? Because they both happened to lick their lips afterwards? So what? That didn’t mean anything. It meant nothing. You were sure of it... 

Almost. 

You shook the thoughts from your head, refocusing your attention back to your professor at the front of the room. After class, you made your way back to the dorms to get started on your studies while Mina and Jiro were out. The sun had long since set, and you were two hours deep in frustration preparing for your Hero Physics midterm when a knock came from the door. 

You welcomed the distraction, considering you were about to re-read the same question for the fifth time with no progress of understanding it anytime soon, and if you read it again without a miraculous conclusion, you were going to bash your brains in with your laptop.

Needless to say, when you opened the door to see Izuku standing in the hall, you welcomed him with open arms. 

“Hey!” You smiled. 

Izuku looked you up and down. You were still wearing Katsuki’s hoodie, but you had switched out your dress for pajama pants and fuzzy socks. It was subtle, practically unnoticeable, but the slightest crease formed in-between his eyebrows when he noticed. 

“Is that Kaachan’s hoodie?” He asked. 

You looked down at your torso, as if you had forgotten you were wearing anything at all. “Oh, yeah,” you said. “I spilled soda all over my dress earlier while I was with him and he let me borrow it. Honestly, I’m thinking about keeping it at this point. I was supposed to return it as soon as I got back but it’s freezing in here because the thermostat is stuck at sixty-nine degrees and this hoodie is so much warmer than any of mine.”

“You should really call maintenance to fix that.” He brushed past you, entering your room and plopping his backpack on the floor by your desk. You closed the door behind him and crossed your arms.

“What's this?” He asked, picking up your notebook. 

“My suicide note.”

Izuku chuckled, looking over your notes and at the assignment on your computer. “I took Hero Physics last semester,” he told you. “I can help you if you want.” 

“If you want to dedicate your time to a hopeless cause, be my guest.”

And he did. He took a seat next to you at your desk and spent the next hour tutoring you on Hero Physics by walking you through questions like ‘Find the velocity of this speed-type hero’ and what-not. Surprisingly, it wasn't long into your session that you began to understand the words on your screen. You didn't suddenly become Einstein or anything, but at some point you started to work your way through them on your own with few mistakes. The assignment you had spent two hours slowly killing yourself over was completed in one with the help of your freckled friend. 

“I think you’re aiming for the wrong profession, Izuku,” you tell him. “Schools need more teachers.”

“Then schools should pay them more.”

You tried to snort back your laughter, ultimately failing, causing  Izuku to laugh along with you. 

“Want a drink?” You asked, standing to your feet. 

“Sure.” He nodded. You left him at your desk and came back with two Arizona teas from your mini fridge to share with him. 

“You never mentioned why you stopped by unannounced,” you said as you took a sip. “Not that you’re ever unwelcome.”

“Oh,” he smiled. “I guess I just wanted to see you.”

You looked down at your hands wrapped around the can, unable to meet his eyes. Izuku always managed to make you blush. You weren't sure if he meant to or not. Either way, he was completely oblivious to the effect he had on you. 

“Well thank you. It’s always nice to see you.”

Similarly, Izuku blushed as well, his cheeks turning pale red. His eyes shifted to the clock on your desk. “I should probably go,” he said, not really wanting to go. “It’s getting late.”

“Oh, right.” You both stood to your feet and Izuku gathered his things. You walked him to the door, leisurely leaning against the doorframe as he exited into the hall. “Think you can keep tutoring me?”

Izuku turned around. 

“I still need to pass finals,” you said. 

He nodded. “Then I'll make sure you pass finals.”

Grinning, you closed the space between you, mindlessly reaching to place a kiss on his cheek when you were reminded of the other kisses you'd shared with Shouto and Katsuki. A thought in the back of your mind spurred from your suspicions—a thought that quickly turned into an idea. At the last second, you acted on your impulse to b-line for his lips, catching you both off guard. You stuck with it, pressing your lips against his harder than you intended. The action stunned him, but it didn't take him longer than a second to embrace it.

It was just a kiss. Not unlike the many kisses you often shared with the others. Not unlike the kisses you've given him before. It was just a simple peck...until it wasn't. 

You pulled away, prepared to give him your thanks for helping you with your studies. But, you never got the chance. Your words were silenced by his lips chasing after yours. Your breath hitched in your throat as your back pressed against the door frame. His hands cupped your cheeks and your lips moved in sync, his tongue daring to swipe across your lips. In the heat of the moment, your mouth nearly opened for him, but he pulled away just as your lips began to part, and you opened your eyes to meet dark green irises peering down at your flushen face. 

Your eyes flickered down to his pink lips, now reddened and somewhat swollen. You watched in disbelief as—just like the others—he, too, licked his lips. 

“Watermelon,” he said lowly. Your chest heaved, your words escaping you. Izuku stepped back, his usual sickeningly sweet smile staring back at you as if nothing happened. 

“We should split some watermelon,” he said. “The next time we study together. That’s my asking rate.”

You nodded hazily. “Okay.”

With that, he said goodbye and left you standing in the doorway to your room dumbfounded. 

.

.

.

Yeah.

Something definitely was up. 

[alpaca-clouds]

Solarpunk Storytelling - And People Who Have Never Read A Book (apparently)

And once more I am back at the topic that maybe annoyes me the most of all when it comes to "white people having bad opinions about solarpunk". (And yes, let's face it, most of the people are white.)

And that is people that argue like this:

"Uhm, actually, how are we supposed to bring in a conflict if it is not about the utopian solarpunk world hiding a dark secret?!"

To which I will always have to assume that these people are not in fact familiar with the concept of books, movies, series, or stories in general, and have not consciously ever consumed a story at all. Because otherwise I cannot fathom how one could come to this conclusion.

Because here is the thing: Most stories out there have a conflict that does not involve a government having a dark secret.

Unbelievable, right?

Escuse my sarcasm in this, but I really just find this argument so silly. I mean, Lord of the Rings most certainly does not draw its conflict out of any government hiding a dark secret. Nor does any of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Titanic is a very popular movie not building around the concept of a dark government secret. And... Ugh, I don't know. Forrest Gump and Fight Club are two very popular movies, that I don't like, but in fact do not work around a dark government secret as a conflict. Nor do my favorite Fantasy books: The Magic Castle trilogy (that includes Howl's Moving Castle) and The Witcher series.

You will find there are a ton of stories out there not focused on a dark government conspiracy. In fact those conspiracies tend to be a feature of only certain subsections of genre fiction: thrillers and dystopian fiction. And obviously especially dystopian thrillers. Which is why it is so common in the original punkpunk genre Cyberpunk: Most Cyberpunk stories are dystopian thrillers.

But Solarpunk is not Cyberpunk. And you can tell a lot of different stories that do not feature those kinds of conspiracies.

What those people do not really seem to grasp is that at the very core fantasy, science fiction, and all the punkpunk genre actually do not quite describe the sort of story you tell, but just the setting. Think about it: High Fantasy does not say anything about what kind of story you can expect. Sure, a lot of High Fantasy is either a war story, or an adventure story, but I have read high fantasy thrillers before, just as I have read one really cool indie mystery story that was high fantasy. Same with Urban Fantasy. Are most Urban Fantasy novels some sort of detective novel often with a strong romantic/erotic subplot? Sure. But I have read Urban Fantasy horror, pure Urban Fantasy romance, and Urban Fantasy adventure stories. (In fact I wrote an Urban Fantasy pirate adventure myself.)

Same with the other punkpunk genres. Yes, most Cyberpunk is in fact some sort of dystopian thriller. Some are more action heavy, others are more mystery heavy. But I have seen Cyberpunk erotica, Cyberpunk adventure, and Cyberpunk drama novels. Sure, they always tend to have dystopian subtext, because Cyberpunk worlds are dystopian - but... It is not the central theme in those stories.

Steampunk is maybe even stronger in this. Because I have seen I think any genre in Steampunk before. Romance, adventure, mystery, action thriller... I have seen it all. And I do not even like Steampunk particularly!

So, I really have to wonder: Why in the world can those people think of telling only one type of story with the Solarpunk-setting? And why is it the kind of story that is literally the polar opposite of Solarpunk as a setting-idea?

Because I can guarantee you: Every single genre is very much still possible even within an utopian Solarpunk setting, where the utopia is not a sort of conspiracy hiding a darker secret.

Mystery? Well, even in an utopian world people will go missing. Even in an utopian world, someone will commit murder. The world being utopian will not just fix humanity from its darkest instincts.

Romance? Duh, people will still fall in love in an utopian world. And people will still be complicated about it.

Adventure? Within a Solarpunk world there will still be people looking for lost treasure. Hell, there will probably still be some asshole private collectors who want it for themselves. Or you can even do it fitting with the theme: Instead of a lost treasure people are having an adventure looking for a supposedly extinct species!

Action? You do not need a government conspiracy for someone to come up with guns and do bad things with it, forcing good guys with guns to stop them and have cool fights while doing so!

Thriller? Again, it does not need to be a government conspiracy for that to happen. (Heck, I might write a different blog about that tomorrow.)

Horror? You can have both serial killers/slashers in a Solarpunk world, abusive people for psychological horror, and ghosts/demons if you wanna go supernatural. Literally neither of those care much about the setting they are in.

So, yeah. Really. If you think you cannot write an interesting story within a Solarpunk novel that does not involve the government hiding something and the world being build on a lie, that is very much a skill issue. Or to put it different: Maybe writing is not for you.

[astercontrol]

Ever think about how amazing it is that we got a character like the Bit in TRON 1982?

I mean, yeah, having some cute little robot or animal side characters was, and still is, very typical of movies in that genre.

But, look at the Bit.

It's based on a computer science concept, of course: the simplest unit of data in a computer, a single 1 or 0 indicating yes or no. And it's anthropomorphized just enough to get actual computer nerds confused about what exactly it is supposed to be. Clearly you'd need lots more than one bit, to create a programmed entity that behaved the way a Bit does!

Is it the mystical energy of Programmer Spirits that animates it beyond what should be possible-- as it does for the Programs themselves, who also aren't nearly complex enough to be alive on their own? Or is a Bit something else, like an external subroutine of a program, which is called a Bit simply because of the way it communicates?

Who knows? Who cares? It's a Bit! It's adorable!

And yet… this same level of anthropomorphizing is very unusual for Disney, and for the whole genre, in a whole different way.

Though it's much more animate than one could reasonably imagine for an actual bit… the Bit is much less anthropomorphic than any creature playing any comparable role in any comparable movie I can think of.

It has no eyes, no mouth, no words except a synthesized Yes and No. It expresses itself only by shifting appearance between three faceless geometric shapes.

And yes, we love it! Yes, we adore the heck out of that sassy little thing! Yes, we will absolutely look at this object that resembles no person or animal in existence, and we will find enough cuteness to scream over!

We are the weird nerdy audience that you sucked in with the promise of a movie about computer programs being alive, and YES we are invested enough to take this ALL the way!

But I haven't seen any other movie do this, ever since.

And even the original Tron movie wasn't GOING to do it, at first.

Now, every other time I've looked at the early development of ideas in a movie, I've seen a pattern of "Less Relatable being reworked into More Relatable." Any creature design that looks "too weird," "too unfamiliar," "too alien," will evolve over the course of edits, until it satisfies the developers' expectations for being something audiences can relate to.

In other words… looking at the early concept art and the final product, I am certain any other movie I can think of would've adapted the Bit in the exact opposite direction.

Same with the MCP.

Whether it's a villain or an adorable little sidekick, the fans who became captivated by the classic Tron movie are an audience eager and ready to see life and personality in something utterly alien, something that resembles no actual life in the world we know.

And yet, I'm sure this wasn't even the goal of any of the character designers.

When you look at the early design of the Programs, you see them follow a more typical pattern, starting out more robotic, less humanoid, less "Relatable," and progressing toward recognizable humanity.

That movie, I'm pretty sure, was an exception to the rule not because of any philosophy about what would resonate with audiences... but simply because of the constraints of the medium.

The Bit and the MCP became more simple, more geometric, because that was easier to computer-animate.

Programs became more humanoid because that was easier for human actors to play.

A big, huge chunk of what made this movie relatable in a gloriously weird way, to gloriously weird audiences who may have had serious trouble relating to lots of other media, is just a serendipitous side-effect of the wild experiment that it was.

...I wish movies would take risks like that more often.

Really.

[twosides--samecoin]

X6-88 thoughts/Overthinking Bethesda's writing:

I've side-eyed a handful of X6-88's statements ("Greed and materialism don't exist in the Institute.", "In the Institute, mental disorders are a thing of the past.") and wonder about the veracity of those claims.

I'd ask him to define what a "mental disorder" is. The World Health Organization says a mental disorder is a "clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotional regulation, or behaviour". Surely in emulating human life, the Institute understands mental disorders are kind of two sides of an evolutionary coin.

After all, in humans, anxiety is a survival response.

It's 98798745 BC. The wind shifts through tall grass. Something rustled in the grass yesterday and then it popped out and ate your hunting partner. For the rest of your life, you get a little freaked when the tall grass moves. It's 2024. You get chest pangs and feel annoyed when your mom's number shows up on your cell phone, because her pattern of behaviour is to ask a lot of uncomfortable, invasive questions and she frequently derides your life choices. You let it go to voicemail, because that's the one way of figuring out what she actually wants without having to endure too much bullshit to learn the purpose of her call. That's anxiety.

If you want a Synth to have authentic feelings such as worry or a "gut feeling" that gives them pause (and the Institute does want their Synths to assimilate with humans in 2288), that means even a series of zeroes and ones telling the Synth to pause before walking off a cliff needs to be interpreted and expressed to the outside world as anxiety. I wonder how many Synths were deemed defective because the Institute basically trained their self-aware AI to have anxiety disorders?

And hey, X6 contradicts the statement, whether he knows it or not: "I recommend a mental health examination when you return to the Institute."

X6, what's the purpose of a mental health examination? Who gets selected for one? Why would someone be recommended to take one? What happens when the assessment is conducted? What kind of data is expected from something called a mental health examination? Yes or no, is it fair to say mental disorders could be detected with such a test? Is a mental health examination routine for humans and Synths? Because lemme tell you buddy the existence of the mental health examination tells me the opposite of "mental health disorders are a thing of the past".

If escapee synths can harbour trauma, perhaps X6 views that phenomena as a defective unit. Or believes "runners" should be anxious, because they're in trouble. Could also be he's hearing one set of truths and he isn't privy to data that would show otherwise. Part of his mission might be to tell the Sole Survivor certain things about the Institute to further convince the SoSu to succeed Father's leadership. Maybe it's a 'perfect world' belief, or what he chooses to tell himself; if one wears the affect the party line expects of them, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to ignore feelings of doubt.

X6 doubts very little about the Institute, except when the Sole Survivor causes him to doubt their appointment as Father's successor.

One of my journalism profs said "Science is a knife fight". Academia would love you to think it's all for the greater good, but many big science scandals of the 20th/21st century were greed-driven.

"Materialism" must also be quantified and defined. You might hear, "They're so materialistic," normally framed as an insult-observation toward someone we perceive as valuing physical goods above all else.

"Materialism" is a philosophical thought that centers around the assertion that all things - ideas, expression, products, actions, you name it - have causal relationships with matter.

Matter can be literally anything. Your stomach grumbled because your body is sending you signals to indicate it needs fuel. The dog barks because wants to alert you to something. You cry because it's the body's response to releasing stress. You have memories because of a network of synapses and neurons that the brain developed to retain information.

It's basically a boring way of saying, "Things happen because Stuff exists, and Stuff exists because Things happen". Marx and Engels based their writings on the relationship and interactions between Stuff & Things. The worker gets a job at the factory because they need money to pay the landlord. The factory exists to produce Stuff. The factory cannot produce Stuff without the labour of the worker. Conditions at the factory can make it hard for workers to produce Stuff. Labour movements exist because workers can withhold their labour if working conditions fail them. And so on!

I think it's ontologically untrue to say the Institute isn't materialistic; one reason they made synths (among others) was because they needed materials. Gen 1/2s scavenged the Commonwealth and carried out experiments. SRB Coursers like X6-88 go to the surface to recover escaped Synths that they view as property.

The Institute is materialistic, not because they're all concerned with designer bags or whatever the fuck X6 was referring to by saying they weren't greedy/materialistic, but because they absolutely do have a causal relationship where the collection of matter, human or otherwise, directly influences their ability to continue their research.

Anyway I don't think he's a liar per se, I just think he's inhaling the Institute's Costco pack of Capri Suns like they're fucking oxygen tanks

[storeecbrcod]

I need some more highly intuitive Soap. This man has so much shit going through his head constantly, but I can guarantee half of it is just his mind breaking down how things are made, what he could use from certain substances to make totally new products (that may or may not combust).

We, as a fandom, have established that as much as we make fun of Soap’s little quirky characterisations, that at the character’s heart, he is incredibly smart. Chemistry, technology, engineering, math… this man is a himbo in STEM. He might not be able to tell you what he ate for breakfast, but you know damn well that if a recruit asked him how soap works as a stupid joke, this guy would go on a whole rant about saponification and how fricken cool it is. The blank stares from the recruits don’t ever concern him.

He’s got all kinds of things flying through his little noggin. You know how when you or someone you know buys a new car, and suddenly you see that car everywhere around you? Soap experiences the same thing, except it’s just chemical and mathematical theories. He can’t just exist in the world, his mind is in constant hyperdrive to perceive.

That’s why he’s so good at his job (and pool). His constant heightened sense of awareness allows him to soak up information like a sponge when he finally manages to turn the constant perception off, like out field. Instead of the molecular structure of different plastics, or the force needed to crush a can theoretically, he is able to manage and monitor multiple things at once; his position, his team’s position, the enemy, the direction of bullets, and sometimes even how many seconds it takes for the cease of gunfire from one weapon on the opposite side of the grounds to start up again, notifying a reload.

Ghost made the mistake of opening one of Soap’s chemistry textbooks, once. Once. Soap found him practically tweaking, just staring at the hexagons and lines and graphs and abbreviations, all making his head throb. Soap simply sighed with a smile, plucking the book from skeleton gloves and placing it down, leading the Lieutenant away.

“Don’t hurt yerself, Lt.”

“Careful, Sergeant.”

“You’re tellin’ me, yer eye’s twitchin’ like you’ve been rummagin’ through the contraband stores.”

Extra Ghoap Bonus!

Sometimes, Soap gets so overwhelmingly exhausted from not being able to turn his mind off. (Un)Surprisingly, science is everywhere, and he can’t help but think about it. When he feels a migraine coming on, neck and jaw straining after trying to rein in his overactive brain, he goes straight to Ghost.

Something about Ghost’s dry humour and blunt conversation helps ground him; he doesn’t have to worry about subtext, or necessarily work-related chat. Just silly (read: flirty) banter and bad, clear-cut jokes. Ghost allows his mind to focus on one thing while he occupies his hands. A journal, playful taps on Ghost, a Rubix Cube, fiddling.

Eventually, he manages to calm his thoughts enough to doze off, lying haphazardly across couches, a mattress, on the bench seats of the cargo planes, or even on the floor. Many soldiers could attest to seeing Ghost gently cradling the man’s head, moving him into a comfortable position, even once or twice carrying him to his barracks. Could, if a certain skull-faced soldier didn’t pierce them with a very clear warning glare at the memory, as if he could tell they were thinking about it.

[daresplaining]

An Interview with Christine Hanefalk

Christine Hanefalk created her blog, The Other Murdock Papers, in 2007 as a place to discuss and share her interest in Matt Murdock and his world. Over the years, she has become one of the most compelling and influential voices within the Daredevil fan community, even making a cameo appearance in the comic itself in Daredevil volume 3 #31. In 2022 she published Being Matt Murdock, a passion project centered around an area of particular fascination: Matt's legendary hypersenses. The book weaves real-world science into the vast Daredevil canon to explore the notion that Daredevil's powers, though superhuman, are not – and do not need to be – as divorced from reality as one might think.

Christine was kind enough to answer my questions about the book, and about her nearly twenty-year-long fascination with the Man Without Fear. Read the interview below...

Daresplaining: I know many people will be familiar with your blog and your longtime interest in Matt Murdock's sensory world, but could you say a little about how Being Matt Murdock first came about, and how you approached writing and researching it?

Christine Hanefalk: I started The Other Murdock Papers in late 2007 and gradually allowed myself to start writing more about the scientific and sensory aspects of Daredevil as time went on. I was really worried it might turn people off, but the opposite was true and people really seemed to dig my deep dives. And so as far back as around 2012 I decided that, one of these days, I was going to try to write a whole book on the subject. 

Despite the fact that it took me ten years to complete it, with most of the work being concentrated to the final 12-18 months before publication, I had actually done some writing early-on. I think I had about half of chapters one (on the literary history) and seven (on the sense of smell) written several years ago, along with various snippets and notes that I had filed away and was able to work into some of the other chapters. I had also consistently been keeping an eye out for anything new and interesting in the peer reviewed academic literature, and managed to amass – and read through – quite a collection of books on sensory neuroscience over the years.

When that “now or never” moment finally arrived, it lined up well with a period of time in my life where I was able to cut back on regular work and devote most of my time and energy to the book. I went over all of the stuff I’d already looked at before but with more focus, and got myself reacquainted with subjects I hadn’t really touched since college, such as thermodynamics. I also reread nearly all of the comics, taking very detailed notes on how and when Daredevil used his senses to get a better idea of the overall pattern. It’s not an understatement to say that I’ve spent upwards of 2,000 hours on this project over the years.

D: I understand that you were introduced to Daredevil through the 2003 movie. What drew you so strongly to Matt as a character? How much of a role has your fascination with his powers played in your continuing interest over the years?

CH: I grew up reading comics and enjoying sci-fi and superhero movies as a kid. I was born in 1977, so both the original Star Wars trilogy and the Superman franchise loomed large in my life when I got old enough to watch them. And while I eventually stopped reading superhero comics, I always had a special place in my heart for the genre and had a certain fascination with the general idea of superheroes. That eventually steered me in the direction of the Daredevil movie when it was released in video stores (I don’t think it even went up in theaters in my native Sweden). 

The specifics of Matt Murdock’s power set was definitely one thing that gave this character an unusual kind of appeal to me. I had always been interested in the science of the senses – and what happens when one is missing – and had even written a paper on sensory compensation for my neuroscience class while I was an exchange student at the University of Rochester around the turn of the millennium. 

There were additional things that made Daredevil interesting of course, such as his career as a lawyer, his overall personality, and the general mood of the world he inhabited, but the combination of his power set and my already having a soft spot for superheroes definitely piqued my interest right away. Within a few months of learning that Daredevil even existed, I had read pretty much everything he had ever appeared in.

D: Do you have a favorite sense, both in terms of your own research and as a Daredevil fan?

CH: I think I probably enjoyed researching hearing the most since there’s so much to cover. It’s also fascinating to me how hearing can be called on to perform spatial functions despite having this deceptively simple, linear, time-dependent form in terms of how it is received by the ear. The fact that it’s possible, even for quite ordinary humans, to sort of “see-hear” silent objects is fascinating to me.

However, if we look at Daredevil, I’d say that hearing has tended to be overused compared to both smell and touch. While hearing is often called on to perform near transcendental duties, smell tends to be forgotten by a lot of writers, probably in large part due to the fact that we humans seem to be less conscious of smells than we are of other sensory input. For the entire history of the comic, Daredevil has often gone several issues without any reference to smell, and the things he’s been smelling have often tended to not be very interesting. It’s always a treat to see smell being used in creative ways.

Still, the sense I would be even more interested in seeing more of in Daredevil is probably touch, which I also think is used less than it could be. Sure, there’s plenty of reading by touch (print or braille), but I still think we might be underestimating the importance of touch in Matt’s life, due in part to the high expectations of the radar sense (whatever we make of it). I view the “radar” as absolutely vital to everything Matt does as Daredevil, but I also see a much greater potential role for touch to work synergistically with such an ability.

D: Do you have a favorite new fact that you learned over the course of researching this book?

CH: Yes. I do think my coming across Jacob Twersky’s writing helped solidify the idea I had about how the concept of the radar sense may have originated. Blinded in childhood, Twersky would go on to become a champion collegiate wrestler, and later a historian and author. I read both his 1954 novel The Face of the Deep and his 1959 autobiography The Sound of the Walls while working on my own book. The way Twersky describes his sense of the obstacles around him in The Sound of the Walls struck me as shockingly similar to early descriptions of Daredevil’s radar sense, including the use of the term “radar” itself. 

While I can’t know for sure whether anyone at Marvel was familiar with Twersky’s writing, it’s worth noting that he was a New Yorker and a contemporary of Stan Lee and many of the others in the Marvel bullpen back in the day. Whatever the case may be, it’s clear that the Marvel creators were not the first to use the word “radar” to describe the “obstacle sense of the blind,” as it was often known at the time. Over the years, and especially after having studied the early issues in great detail, I’ve definitely come to favor the idea that the “radar sense” wasn’t meant to be understood as a literal (electromagnetic) radar, though I should add that the understanding of the radar seems to have been all over the place for most of Daredevil history. Reading Twersky definitely added considerable weight to my interpretation of the early radar sense.

I also had some favorite epiphanies connected to the radar sense, one in particular which I think explains why Daredevil’s very particular way of being blind is often so difficult to make sense of for writers and fans alike. I recently wrote a rather lengthy post covering much of that stuff.

D: While taking a renewed deep dive into the source material, did you find yourself changing your opinion on anything?

CH: I should preface this by saying that there are definitely things I’ve changed my mind about over the years, even before I started most of the work on the book. I mentioned above that my understanding of the radar sense has shifted gradually, away from the more literal take the name suggests. Looking at the comics very carefully gives you even more of a sense that pinning down anything concrete here is going to be really difficult.

Revisting the comics has also given me a new appreciation for certain runs, such as the pre-Miller Bronze Age issues. This process has also led me to reassess my earlier assumptions that Daredevil’s senses have gone through some kind of steady evolution from Silver Age goofy to modern and grounded. This really isn’t the case, especially when you exclude some of the early outliers. You can find plenty of examples of both nonsensical and absolutely brilliant “senses writing” throughout the history of the comic, but I wouldn’t say that the treatment of the senses, or Matt’s blindness, have necessarily become more grounded on average.

D: You go into great detail about how much of Matt's sensory world has not been explored yet on the page. Is there any particular, specific experience that you would love to see depicted in future runs or adaptations? 

CH: Contrary to what people might expect of me given my priors, I don’t necessarily think that there needs to be more stories about his senses, blindness and so on. However, I think these aspects of the character should be viewed as absolutely essential to how Daredevil is written, no matter what the particular storyline happens to be. I make a point in the book about how Daredevil is an amazingly interesting thought experiment, and I really believe that. So I’d really just wish for writers to be more comfortable running their scenes and stories through whatever their own version of this thought experiment happens to be and making sure that what’s on the page makes sense in light of that.

D: While researching other superpowered blind characters from the comics world and beyond, did you discover any new favorites? Can we expect a spin-off blog about Doctor Mid-Nite?

CH: Ha ha, no. It’s enough of a challenge keeping up with The Other Murdock Papers these days. As regular readers have undoubtedly noticed, I’ve been considerably less active there in recent years, having to do with work on the book as well as other real life stuff that’s competing for my time and attention. I do expect it to live on for many more years though, and I do update every once in a while. I’m definitely looking forward to writing about Daredevil: Born Again when that comes out, and we also have Echo coming out in early 2024.

D: What is your biggest Daredevil sensory pet peeve?

CH: To be honest, what bothers me more than all of the silly things put together is the suggestion that Daredevil can “see better than all of us,” is “not really blind,” and so on. As much as this might sound like the whole point of the character, it also takes much of the complexity out of what Daredevil does and how he does it. As blanket statements go, it just doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, unless we radically redefine what sight is, and what the other senses – even when heightened – actually do. 

D: I love the scene in volume 3 #26 when Matt evades Ikari by changing his heart rate, even though logic would suggest that Ikari could still track him using his other senses, or even just other sounds. Do you have any favorite DD moments where you let sensory weirdnesses slide just because the scene is so compelling? 

CH: While it’s a whole issue rather than a single scene, I really enjoyed what Mark Waid and Chris Samnee were attempting to do with the story that sees Matt attempt to escape Latveria while losing all of his senses. The scene I’m choosing to let slide here is when Matt seems to develop some kind of heat vision (it’s frankly unclear what it’s supposed to be) as his body tries to compensate. Whenever you see hints of thermal imaging in Daredevil, that’s an indication that he’s doing something that’s much further removed from how his senses should work than most people realize. It’s not something that follows naturally from heightened senses and is more like an entirely different kind of superpower. 

I definitely tend to give a writer much more slack when 1) I'm enjoying the writing overall, and 2) said writer compensates to some degree by doing a good job of exploring, or at the very least remembering, that Matt is in fact blind.

D: What are your hopes for this book in regards to the impact it might have on how Daredevil is written in the future? What are the key takeaways that you hope fans and/or potential future Daredevil creators pull from it? 

CH: If people reading this interview haven’t read Being Matt Murdock they may get the impression that it’s all a long list of “don’ts” or “can’ts,” but that’s a far cry from what I’ve attempted to do. I remember reading another superhero science book a few years ago that seemed to have as its central premise that “superpowers are stupid,” which didn’t feel particularly gratifying. I don’t see it that way at all. Sure, there are certainly characters whose powers read more like magic than anything else, but I don’t necessarily mind that. We don’t have to hold every character to any kind of scientific standard, and there definitely comes a point when taking this too far just takes the fun out of it. 

When it comes to a character like Daredevil, however, I feel very strongly that bringing science into the picture has the potential to aid in the creative process rather than hinder it. Daredevil is relatively unusual in that he can exist comfortably in a kind of “reality next door.” His powers are not possible in our own universe, but they are not so far removed from our normal understanding of things that we can’t attempt to make sense of them and imagine what life would be like from his perspective. Because while no one has super hearing, most of us do have regular human hearing which detects the measurable and explainable phenomenon of sound. 

There are naturally things about Daredevil that not even loosening the reins of biology will address – for instance, even a science-minded writer is likely going to have to break some of the laws of the physics of sound – but understanding how these phenomena unfold in the real world helps create a good structure for how Daredevil might operate. And I feel like I’ve come pretty close to presenting a coherent “view” of the world from Daredevil’s perspective in this book.

It would definitely be a dream come true to have this book inspire future Daredevil writers, but I obviously don’t have much control over that kind of stuff. I’ve been able to give out plenty of copies to past writers and artists though, ha ha. I would want incoming writers to know that science is their friend. And that understanding some of the science makes Daredevil even more fascinating.

D: If you were given the opportunity to actually experience the world the way Matt does for a day, would you take it?

CH: Absolutely! Mind you, I probably wouldn’t want to do it for longer than a day or two and I very much appreciate my standard issue eyesight, but I think it would be fascinating to explore his world. Though in this thought experiment, I would assume that I could experience things the way he does after years of getting used to it so it’s not too much of a shock to the system. Unlike what happened in the delightfully ridiculous story where Daredevil switched bodies with Doctor Doom, and Doom appeared to adjust on the spot and couldn’t even figure out that he was now blind, I would expect it to take months or even years to learn to navigate the world the way Matt does (superhero acrobatics not included). And it’s not just about being able to integrate different amounts and kinds of sensory information. It’s also a matter of acquiring the strategies that allow for combining this sensory information with real-world knowledge in order to handle the many ambiguities which remain in a world organized around people with a more standard set of human senses.

D: Do you have any book/article/etc. recommendations for someone wanting to expand their reading on the topics explored in the book?

CH: Among the books I’ve read that I would recommend for general audiences is David Eagleman’s The Brain: The Story of You as a good introduction to the brain. If people want to progress from there I also recommend Brainscapes by Rebecca Schwarzlose. I don’t make any explicit references to Brainscapes in my book, but it’s a very solid read for anyone who wants to learn more about the role of “brain maps” in guiding our experiences. For the senses themselves, there’s The Universal Sense by Seth S. Horowitz (about hearing), and What the Nose Knows by Avery Gilbert.

Another book I read years ago that is sort of “on-topic” is A Sense of the World: How a Blind Man Became History’s Greatest Traveler by Jason Roberts. It’s not one I reference in my own book, but I guess it’s “Daredevil adjacent.” It tells the absolutely fascinating true story of James Holman (1786-1857).

D: Beyond Being Matt Murdock and your blog, is there anything else you would like to promote/mention here?

CH: Not for the time being. Maybe there’ll be a second edition of Being Matt Murdock one day, but I don’t have any such plans for the foreseeable future. What I would like to do is take the opportunity to encourage people to tackle their own passion projects. For me, finalizing this project came down to realizing that if I were to be told I only had a year to live, I would want to prioritize finishing this book. That’s how much it meant to me. And when you feel that way about something, try to do whatever you can – as much as your current circumstances will allow – to give yourself that gift. Tackling something like this can be very daunting, and I definitely had to get over my fears of making mistakes and putting myself out there in order to do this. But I’m really glad that I finally did.

For more fun facts and information on Being Matt Murdock, and to purchase your own copy, visit www.scienceofdaredevil.com

For more of Christine Hanefalk's writing, visit www.theothermurdockpapers.com

[gellavonhamster]

assigning each straw hat pirate a knight of the round table

because I am currently obsessed both with One Piece and Arthuriana; not any kind of serious AU material, just silliness; I Wrote This for Me but You Can Read If You Like

Luffy: Arthur, not due to any similarities in characterization but purely on the functional level - the boy king, the inspirational leader and, as Sun God Nika, a mythical figure believed to return when people need him the most

Zoro: Lancelot, the perfect warrior who embodies that post that's like "it's not my fault that my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill". There is no Queen Guinevere here, so all the undying devotion is aimed at the king instead. Canonically has massive tits. Mihawk is thus implied to be the Lady of the Lake, and I think that's hilarious

Nami: hear me out: Kay. Sharp-tongued, rather cynical, but loyal to a fault to his king/adopted little brother. Nami as part of the Coward Trio vs. Kay being unlucky on quests and generally the butt of the joke. Isn't known to be a great warrior but occupies an important position (navigator vs. seneschal) that keeps the ship/court going. Besides, looking from the opposite direction, I just think Kay deserves to be the hot girl

Usopp: Usopp, sweetie, I'm so sorry, but I gotta say Tristan. Because Tristan is constantly lying about his identity in the most ridiculous manner possible and it somehow works. That part in Le Morte d'Arthur when he's asked what his name is and goes "Tramtrist" and no one suspects a thing even though "Tramtrist" is just "Tristram" with syllables switched around has big Sniper King energy. Also, can't forget the beautiful blonde healer girlfriend

Sanji: oh, that's the easiest one. Gawain. The Maidens' Knight, the ladies' man, a great warrior and one of the king's closest and most trusted men. If you put together Gawain's characterizations from different texts, from SGATGK to Le Morte to the Vulgate & Post-Vulgate to Chrétien de Troyes to everything, you end up with a contradictory character who is simultaneously the best and the worst guy you'll ever meet, which is how I often feel about Sanji, tbh. Would totally fight at a tournament on behalf of a little girl. Has some kind of an epic gay thing with Lancelot

Chopper: Yvain. Son of a sorceress - ah, pardon, a woman of science; associated with animals; known to be nice and kind (the Vulgate Cycle describes him as the one "whose heart will be filled with every kindness"). Occasionally goes insane in the woods (Monster Point), but, like, who doesn't

Robin: try as I might, I can't pull any direct parallels out of my ass, but I do think that narratively she can be seen as kind of a quasi-Mordred. Since her very childhood she was proclaimed to be bad news and expected to eventually cause a catastrophe, but where Mordred, whom no one tries to persuade the prophecy doesn't define him, ends up becoming exactly what he's expected to become, Robin has people who support her and trust her even after witnessing her be the bad guy in the past, so she never becomes the evil others expect her to turn into

Franky: Sagramore the Desirous (or the Unruly, depending on the text/translation) is a big, strong, good-natured knight who probably has low blood sugar needs to have a snack after fighting because otherwise he'll pass out, much like a certain cyborg needs his cola. In the Post-Vulgate, he and Mordred were raised together, which can be linked to Frobin's fates being intertwined since childhood, because I've Connected the Dots (you didn't connect shit)

Brook: I wanted to pick a character of the older generation who nevertheless isn't a mentor figure to Arthur, and I struggle to think of a better option than Pellinore - not the predatory piece of shit in the medieval texts, but the eccentric but loveable old man in Camelot (1967). Brook is also on a quest focused on an extraordinary beast! Only he's not hunting it, he's trying to get back to it because that beast is his friend 🥺

Jinbei: I honestly don't remember if he counts as the Knight of the Round Table, but I am hereby appointing him Ector - Arthur's adoptive father and one of the nicest parental figures in Arthuriana (and probably one of the nicest people in Arthuriana, period). I've also considered Galehaut for the "(partially) non-human ruler who allies himself with Arthur" angle, but that would imply Jinbei/Zoro and I'm not ready to deal with that.

[yandere-dark-cupid]

I don't know if you do Yandere alphabet, so if you don't just ignore this. But if you do can you do some of RF or Hunter Wally please.

Bun Anon 🍞~

Ok. Coming right up. Also decided to do RF because my boy's birthday just recently passed. So here you go 💕

Warning⚠!⚠: This fic includes unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of death, mentions of inhumane experiments, and a yandere. If you are uncomfortable with those concepts, just move along and ignore it.

P.S.A 📢: Do not glamorize nor romantize yanderes!!! It is ok to fantasize about them, but putting them on a pedestal is the last thing you would want to do since they're so harmful. They are walking red flags for a reason.

Yandere RF Wally ABCs...

A- is for... Affection: How does he go about affection and how intense does it get?

Walden isn't an affectionate person by any means. Kind of the opposite. But I can see that he probably wouldn't mind being on the receiving end of it unless he's busy. Then he'll be annoyed. But hey, at least he isn't the type to force you to be affectionate with him and vice versa.

B- is for... Blood: How much blood is he willing to spill for you?

He doesn't mind it and is willing to spill as much blood as he needs to get the desired results. So here is your healthy reminder. Walden works in a murder facility. Hell, he even runs it. So seeing blood and getting involved with it won't phase him. He's desensitized by it. But on another note, there is a likely chance that he might put the offender to good use. Perhaps by turning them into palatable colors or a stepping stone the further the field of science….

C- is for... Cruelty: How does he treat you once they're in his grasp and does he mock you about the predicament you're in?

Look. Walden is many things, but an asshole isn't one of them. Intentionally speaking that is. So he wouldn't make fun of your.. circumstances. He's at least one of the more aware Wallys. So he knows what he's doing is very wrong and he isn't ignorant on the fact that you are not happy in the slightest about being trapped by him and with him. And he doesn't want to make you feel any worse than what you're already feeling by adding lemons to open wounds by mocking you. As for you being in his hold, he'll be firmer with you. But other than that you won't be treated any different than when you were free.

D- is for... Darling: Other than kidnapping, what else would he do against your will other than the former?

Nothing else really, since Walden already has you. Which is already enough. He isn't forceful of you when it comes to personal boundaries. He at least respects you on that front.

E- is for... Exposed: How much will he show his heart to you, how vulnerable will he get with you?

It is no secret to anyone who knows about Walden that this man has a family road trip full of baggage. With that baggage comes very tall and sturdy walls that box his heart. So to say the very least, he's not going to open up to you. It takes time for Walden to let down those walls. Even if you are within his grasp by force, his heart is still boxed up just by lesser but still very strong walls. But don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to break down those walls because as far as him abducting you goes all you will have is time to burn on your hands.

F- is for... Fight: What will he do if you fought back against him?

Walden won't be amused to put it lightly. He'll be irated. Since he doesn't tolerate disobedience in the slightest, especially the rebellious type. But he'll give you some lead way since again he's very much aware that what he's doing is messed up and you are with it your right to fight back. But once he's tired and reaches a certain point, that's when punishments come into play....

G- is for... Game: Is this a game to him? Does he enjoy watching you try and escape him?

No. I've already discussed in previous points that Walden doesn't fuck around, especially after a certain point when his tolerance has run thin. So you trying to escape does not bring him any pleasure. Besides, it's not like you can escape him anyway. Your chances of escape are very low since he has all your needed necessities under lock and key and the Factory is built like a fortress. So really it isn't fun for either of you.

H- is for... Hell: What was you worst moment with him?

The first major punishment you've received from him. Like I said before, once Walden is tired enough and he has no more grace to give he's going to stomp out that defiance right out of you. However, I'm not going to go into too much detail about how he did it since that is reserved for a later point and a potential later fic. Just know one word. Green.

I- is for... Ideals: What future does he want for the both of you.

Walden wants to be your spouse and you his once you're well adjusted and is more willing to sign a marriage certificate. Children are a gray area, especially with his past experiences of being a parent. But he hopes that one day it's as much of a possibility that won't fail just like the last ones. But for now, he's satisfied with having you with him. Besides, he knows that those ideals are very far-fetched in the future.

J- is for... Jealousy: Does he get jealous easily? If so how does he cope?

Listen. Walden isn't a jealous man. A controlling one yes. But a jealous one, no. He knows that he has a lot of traits that many people can appreciate and like. He's handsome, wealthy, and quite brilliant. The only way I can see him getting jealous is by being confronted by someone who is your type while he isn't, that's when he gets jealous. How he deals with that jealousy is usually the default answer. Which isolates you from that person if he hasn't taken you or if that doesn't work force the person that got him jealous in the first place into the large pile of bodies that rots underneath the Factory's working cogs.

K- is for... Kisses: How would he act around you?

Walden won't act to different from how he acted before the abduction. This only difference is that he's oddly more strict with you now that you're under his thumb care. Yet oddly enough, if you haven't been taken by him yet is still under his control he's somewhat more open and almost expressive with you. It's kinda strange and confusing.

L- is for... Love letters: How did he approach you? How did he go about wooing you?

The likely chance is that he met you when you were one of his workers since that's the default answer. But Walden was always cold and professional with you, that was until you began to melt his walls. Which caused him to warm up to you a bit more and cruise off a smoother and slightly more casual dynamic together. As far as wooing go. Once most of that professionalism is chucked into the grinder, he begins to show his interest in subtle ways. In only ways, he knew that you would understand. Like slipping you things he knows you'll enjoy, checking up on you a bit more than usual, etc.

M- is for... Mask: Is his true colors different from the one he shows to others?

Kind of, but not really in a way. His colors are just a bit brighter with you since he's more open with you. This very slightly contrasts with his dullness. But at the end of the day, he's still the cold but blunt Walden with you, he's just brighter with you because he's warmer to you.

N- is for... Naughty: What punishment would he dish out to you when you're acting out of line?

It depends on what offense you've committed. If it's something minor, then the penalty will be minor. Then again I did say that Walden will give you some leniency for a time. So even then he won't punish you often during that time. However, I also said before, that Walden won't take defiance well once he hits the wall. So after a certain point, he combats your defiance with more serious punishments other than taking away the things that keep you occupied. That punishment is, Biochemical warfare to be exact. Since he's a scientist and he's in charge of a secret government facility, finding something nasty to not only keep you more compliant but also knock you back into line won't be to hard. But on the fly chance you did something you can't come back from; like escaping and managing to avoid him for a long time, this can lead to a BAD ENDING all around.

O- if for.. Oppression: How many rights would he take from you?

Your financial freedom and will also dictate your social interacts, once you've earned your socializing privilege when you gain enough of his trust. Other than those two, nothing else.

P- is for... Patience: How much lead way does he give you.

More than what you'd expect from him given his short temper. But that's only for a limited amount of time. Because after the adjustment period, Walden's patience will be reduced by half from when he's taken you. That's if you've been defiant with him that is.

Q- is for... Quit: If you die, leave, or successfully escaped; What is he to do if that happens?

When Walden gets you, do understand he is hanging by a last strand. So if he were to lose you by any means, he's going to snap. And depending on if you are indeed still around and are not boxed up underground when Walden gets to you it won't be nice.

R- is for... Regret: Does he feel remorse for what he's done and would he ever set you free?

I would say yes, but then I thought about it… Yeah, no he's not sorry for what he's done. This Wally has already lost so much, so the minute the opportunity of him being selfish for change he'll take it. Because he's never felt feelings like this before of such magnitude; even with the little past experiences he's had, and once it fully sets in and he likes it… He's decided that he's not going to lose it. So even though he's very aware that what he's doing is messed up, he's gotten to the point were he doesn't care therefore he isn't sorry about what he did. As for setting you free, I've already established that he doesn't want to lose you at all. That includes from his grasp too. But what he would do however is once he trusts you and you're well adjusted in your new life, he'll give you some of your mobility back. But you'll still be on a leash though.

S- Is for... Stigma: What brought about this side from him? Was it his childhood, curiosity, or?

Walden's childhood did play a key part in his development as Yandere, as most of his traumatic and sad past has. But I'm going to say the leading causes of this were his damaged psyche and his track record of losing people he held near and dear to him.

T- is for... Tears: How would he feel about you screaming, crying, and/ or isolating yourself from him?

I don't think Walden would comfort you if you shout and weep about your predicament. He understands that what he's done isn't right in the slightest and is a pretty messed up thing to do. Walden also understands that he isn't the best person when it comes to comforting someone, and that's in a general sense once you take his yandere-ness out of the equation. On top of that, he's very much aware that he's the last person you would want to see during this time never mind seek comfort from. Even as a stoic person and he ultimately isn't remorseful for what he did, that doesn't stop him from feeling some level of sadness upon seeing you very upset. He also can't deny that a subconscious part of himself does not like the thought of causing you any distress and loathes it. So he does the best thing he can do. Leave you to your own devices ( albeit, still under his sharp eye though.. ) to process everything by yourself. Also as far as isolation goes, he wouldn't do anything about it. Sure he'll be annoyed and agitated by this choice sometimes, but he's not going to do anything. Since he knows that you'll come around eventually. Especially when it comes down to your needs being met.

U- is for... Unique: What makes him different from the standard Yandere?

Not much to be honest. The only thing I can think about is that there is a higher chance that Walden won't kidnap you because he has control over most of your assets. By that point he won't see the need to keep you under lock and key. So as long as he has a lot of control over you where you won't get froggy and leap away from him, than he won't fully commit to the kidnapping bit.

V- is for... Vice: What weaknesses you can use to your advantage to escape him?

Walden has very few weaknesses you can exploit to get away from. Especially since he's very powerful. The one weakness I can see you can use to get away from him is a child(ren). But that could work only if you coin it against him first and you know exactly how to do it.

W- is for... Wits end: Would he ever hurt you?

Besides, when it comes down to some of his forms of discipline, Walden won't intentionally. But the only exception to this is when he snaps and falls a BAD ( well really worse ) path, and then his intentions will shift to hurting you.

X- is for... Xoanon: Does he revere you, does he worship the ground you walk on? To what length would he go to win you over?

Walden isn't one of the Wallys that would worship you. But if there is any accomplishment(s) you are proud of, he'll celebrate it with you. Also, there are no lengths he wouldn't go to have you. It's no different from what he does for his job to get whatever results he wants. The only difference is the reasonings behind them. So if he has to pay for a certain thing that you always wanted he will gift it to you; no matter how expensive it is, he will do just that. He has to get rid of a pesky co-worker that won't just leave you be, then they will be given the sudden demotion to test subject. Really the lengths he would go to for you aren't super far off from what he typically does for work, it's just more personal if that makes sense.

Y- is for... Yearning: How long would he ache for you before he snaps?

A fairly long time. Since it would take a while for you to get close to Walden and it would take even longer for him to fall in love with you. I'll give it.. 4 years to be generous.

Z-is for... Zenith: Would he break you?

No. Well, kind of? He would.. crack you if that makes sense. Enough to keep you compliant yet still somewhat yourself.

First post since my return back from shadow realm and it's about my husband 🙂. Other than that I'm pretty proud of it. I am doing Yandere Alphabet now if you're wondering, so feel free to request that if you want. Also, do any of y'all have any anime recommendations because I just cleared out my list, so feel free to send that in my ask box if you have any. But other that that, I hope y'all are having a wonderful day. Until next time My little tainted Angels, see you soon 💜❤💜 ~

[anons-has-hlvrai-aus]

The Metamorphosis of Gordon Freeman [Chapter 1]

An Aftermath

Next Chapter

Summary: Gordon finds out four years too late that not wearing your helmet into a chamber filled with otherworldly radiation is going to have some strange effects on the human body. Luckily for him, there’s somebody that can help him accommodate to his new alien powers…unluckily for him, that somebody happens to be a certain former security guard that can’t seem to stay dead.

Chapter Summary: Gordon receives an unwanted visit from somebody he hasn’t seen in a long time.

Word Count: 4,406

Ao3 Version Link

Notes: So originally this chapter was much longer, and included Movie Night, but I realized it was getting REALLY long and I thought the initial conversation between Gordon and Benrey acted as a good introduction of things to come. The start of things getting jostled up in Gordon’s life.

Black Mesa had been busy for a while when it came to Xen. The details were of a need-to-know basis, and not everybody in Black Mesa had those qualifications, but that didn’t change the fact that the survey team’s most recent yield of specimens came with an unexpected addition.

Could they call it a man?

It looked like a man.

Correction, it almost looked like a man: average height, a slightly notable stomach, some dark and greasy hair…perfectly normal from a glance.

This wasn’t a normal man.

Normal men don’t bare razor sharp teeth.

Normal men didn’t tank loads of bullets with anything less than a few bruises.

Normal men didn’t come back from the dead.

Normal men don’t spew orbs of color from their snarling mouth.

Normal men don’t have scleras the color of honey and irises that were some sort of horrible color out of space.

Normal men don’t scale walls and ceilings completely nude, their eyes, fingertips, feet mysteriously concealed by shadows with no discernible source.

This wasn’t a normal man.

This wasn’t even a human, masculine or otherwise.

This was something else.

This was something unworldly.

This was something familiar to Black Mesa, despite the shape it currently took.

This was something Black Mesa’s scientists hadn’t seen for a long, long time, and they were going to take advantage of that.

-

SUBJECT: Gordon Freeman, PhD.

CURRENT LOCATION:

Random County Middle School

Poastgame, New Mexico

TIME: Containment Failure + 1491 days, 5 hours

EMPLOYMENT STATUS: It’s complicated

-

Gordon sat in front of a desk, a stern, withered figure staring back at him from the opposite side. Both were obnoxiously business casual, although his interviewer clearly had something a bit out of date. He grinned at the older gentleman, who simply maintained his analytical glare.

“You say you want to be a… science teacher… Dr. Freeman?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s why I’m uh… that’s why I applied for the job here, yeah.” He nodded.

“It says here you graduated from MIT, very impressive.”

“Thank you” spills from Gordon’s lips without a second thought, his scrutinizing assessor briefly redirects his gaze from the paper back to him. It feels like an eternity before he switches focus once more.

“I am very curious about your previous employment, as well as the noticeable gap in your resume.”

Shit. Fuck. Damnit.

What could he even bring up as an excuse that didn’t break his confidentiality agreement?

There was so much shit that went on in Black Mesa: the shady business practices were just the start, the blatant coverup of alien lifeforms wasn’t exactly a reasonable excuse either, nor the multitudes of identical human men that were apparently illegal and wanted by the state of New Mexico, and he was pretty sure so much as whispering about the experiment that destroyed his workplace would paint a target on his back. Again. And he really didn’t need a repeat of last year’s ‘Ed Balls Day Celebration’.

That wasn’t even mentioning the complete disregard for OSHA safety regulations (he didn’t care if Tommy said it had been up to code, it most certainly was NOT in his eyes), the medical malpractice (he was pretty sure what happened in the mixology department counted as this, but he really didn’t want to throw Darnold under the bus considering how nice and genuinely helpful the guy was), the clear disregard of human decency that was the accursed laundry room and it’s wretched coin-guzzling dryers, the-

“Doctor Freeman, I am waiting for you to answer my question.”

Gordon stuttered, suddenly his train of thought failed to provide any sort of plausible answer. He deployed his most reliable excuse. “I’m uh, I’m kinda not supposed to say anything? Kinda supposed to keep quiet about what happened to the place. As for the gap… well…” Most people don’t like it when you tell them the reason you have a gap in your employment is because you spent two years attempting to mentally recover from the trauma of your last workplace, and even more people dislike when you tell them the rest of your gap has been from you trying to get a job and then failing, because the idea of anybody having such a long gap in employment is an enigma to anybody trying to hire, at least as far as Poastgame, New Mexico was concerned. Still, he couldn’t exactly lie about what he’d been doing for the past four years, so he told them exactly what was up with the gap in his resume.

As expected, it did not please the other man in the slightest.

Gordon looked deflated by the end of the interview, looking much like one of the numerous tweens currently outside the office, waiting to hear about their grade-school criminal records.

“Doctor Freeman,” the interviewer started, “this is a middle school, as you are clearly aware. You, good Doctor, are an MIT graduate. As far as I’m concerned, this job is way below your paygrade, and even if it weren’t-“

Gordon zoned out, replaying the interview in his head. He was doing everything right: the right clothes, a nice resume, being totally honest with the guy, didn’t accidentally swear like he did at his previous interview…What sort of arbitrary rules could he have been forgetting?

For a guy that had once ragged on his former co-workers, both living and deceased, about not being able to act like normal people, he was starting to feel like maybe he was a hypocrite with how much he struggled to follow basic etiquette.

Surely, the Resonance Cascade hadn’t ruined his social skills that much in just a week, but who was he to judge? This was the same guy that got nervous about making phone calls (It’s not even that hard! It’s talking to people! You love to talk to people!). Even then, he probably shouldn’t judge, Tommy got nervous about phone calls too, but Tommy seemed a bit more justified given his tendency to change his words mid-sentence.

If there was any factor of justification for Gordon’s awkwardness (and this was a pretty big one that even HE forgot about sometimes), then it was the additional matter that he was a video game character, one whose entire personality and backstory had been sculpted together by some person bumbling around their room in a VR headset for several hours. Now that the video game was over, Gordon had to rely on what was “taught” to him by the player, and that was more than enough to make him feel like a badly rolled DND character. He couldn’t even air his grievances to the Player, they had left not long after exporting their save file to whatever server was housing the Post Game. He did have an opportunity to talk to them, once, but trying to remember too many details of the conversation hurt his head; if he had any chance to tweak or change himself, it was that conversation, and clearly he had wasted it.

So, yeah, Gordon didn’t have an excuse. He was kinda stuck being the prime antithesis of a normal person, it seemed.

He nodded at the interviewer when he seemed to finish his speal, shook the man’s sweaty hand, and gave his empty thanks for the “opportunity” to speak to the man at all before making the drive back home. He couldn’t recall the details between when he left the school and when he got home, his memories always got fuzzy when he was driving by himself. He had enough video game knowledge to suspect it was Fast Travel. For a moment, he wondered if it was possible to turn off, but knowing his luck his attempt to do so would just end up turning his prosthetic arm back into a mini-gun, and then he’d have to figure out how to switch it back to normal.

He should have just asked the rest of the Science Team about the car thing years ago, but he had been putting it off after he decided it was preferable to being left to stew in his thoughts for the entire drive. And now he was suffering the consequences of his inaction, wondering only now if he could toggle Fast Travel and Mini-Gun Hand. Hell, maybe he had the power to toggle game difficulty this entire time and he wasn’t utilizing it, he would really like to switch Job Hunting to “easy mode.”

Whatever. Too late to find out now.

Gordon didn’t really need a job, anyways, given the hush money and all, he just needed some form of normalcy to keep himself from focusing on the events that got him here, thinking about that stuff for too long got him stressed, and bad things tended to happen when Gordon got stressed.

Needless to say, he was pretty sure the horrid little man sitting in the middle of his lawn was not a good omen of things to come, both for his stress levels and his attempts at normalcy.

He let out a long, irritated sound, similar to when one needed to be vocal about an upset stomach, and stepped out of the car. Benrey didn’t seem to notice Gordon quite yet, but he knew better than to let the smaller man be left unattended outside. He could call the police but… he’d really rather not on principle alone. He and the Science Team had all agreed that in case of emergencies, they would call each other first (against Gordon’s better judgment), and then either an ambulance or the fire department second.

Benrey… technically wasn’t an emergency right now. He was just a minor annoyance at best, and if for some reason the man did escalate into a greater problem, Gordon had the benefit of it being movie night at his place tonight. If something went wrong, and he couldn’t contact the Science Team for whatever reason, they would know, and they would raise hell at whatever was causing the problem, because at this point not even a second Resonance Cascade (god hope no such a thing occurs) would be able to stop those people from executing their weekly plans after four years of proper bonding time.

Gordon moved between his house and Benrey, keeping a good distance as he did so before engaging in any sort of conversation. He wanted to be as close to the front door as possible in case the non-human gave chase…not that it meant much since Benrey could noclip, but the idea of safety gave him comfort, even if it wasn’t ensured.

“What are you doing here?” He asked a bit too casually. He was sure his voice would better convey the confusion and dread he was feeling once his brain snapped out of what he could only best describe as a new stage of grief dedicated solely for rediscovering somebody who really should have stayed dead.

Bafflement, he was pretty sure what he was experiencing was bafflement. He wasn’t sure why, though. He’d seen Benrey come back from the dead quite a few times, but that all been four years and 31 days ago (and still counting). At that point you can’t help but reasonably assume somebody like that is going to stay dead this time, but apparently that was not the case for Benrey. That also wasn’t surprising, when he thought about it; the cheapest way to create a threat in a sequel is to just bring back the final boss from the first game.

Oh god, was Benrey going to be his Dr. Wily? Was Gordon going to be stuck defeating the same creep over and over and over again for the next 30-something years? He couldn’t do that, his body still hadn’t recovered from the first time he fought Benrey.

The other man tilted his head slightly to Gordon, as if wanting to acknowledge him but not quite processing he was there. “mm…ding dong…” He poked at Gordon’s thrift store garden gnome, its cheeky smile and unbroken gaze were something Gordon had looked deeply into a few times too many since he got it. He wanted to think the longing it exuded wasn’t just his imagination, but he had accepted by now that it was probably his lonely mind playing tricks on him. He was more willing to accept this as imaginary compared to the skeletons.

“Hey,” Gordon spoke up, “Hey man, I asked you a question.”

“…what?” Benrey looked around again, less sluggish than before, this time locking eyes with Gordon. The smaller man’s face was almost an inverse of the gnome’s, they shared the same vacant stare, but the rest of his expression gave him a more pensive look.

Unlike the gnome, however, Benrey’s face could actually change, albeit subtly, such was the case when it morphed into a small smile upon recognizing Gordon. “Yooo! What’s up! Been a while, man. Been like…” He stared directly at the sun, or at least appeared to do so, his eyes squinting not from the glare but from his trying to process something. “…four years, and a month! That one month is pretty, uh, important.”

Gordon exhaled slowly. It sounded like one of those terrible, pig-shaped noise makers Tommy and Dr. Coomer had bought at the Dollar Store last week. “Whyyyyyy? Why now? Why are you-?” He felt a familiar anger boil over, and suddenly his tone and body language had gone from exhausted to brimming with rage. The edges of his vision went slightly red. “Okay! Okay, I’m going to disregard the fact that you can apparently tell how long it’s been since you last harassed me simply by looking at the position of the stars in broad-fucking-daylight, WHY, OF ALL TIMES, ARE YOU BACK? RIGHT FUCKING NOW?!?!”

He could swear he saw Benrey flinch slightly at his outburst, but he wasn’t sure. The man almost immediately responded with his usual calm.

“I told you man, that one month was important. I got, uh, my PS+ renewed. Played the whole time.”

Okay, that…sorta explained where he’d been for the past month, at least.

“Let me guess, Heavenly Sword?”

“Yeah!!!”

Gordon had the displeasure of witnessing the familiar sight of Sweet Voice spewing from Benrey’s lips. The man’s joy seemed to overflow at him remembering such a basic detail from his nonsensical monologue.

“It was so fun!” Benrey continued. “I got to play on a full server, throwing frags and shit at other people, really great cool stuff.”

The red faded from his vision. Despite wanting to so badly…Gordon simply could not stay mad at him. He was just sitting there, in the grass, blabbering on about Heavenly Sword like an excited child. Damnit, the man was even fidgeting with the hem of his shirt while he talked. Was Benrey even a threat, now? Did four years of whatever he was doing mellow him out?

Gordon’s brows furrowed, he should have been focused on the how and why of Benrey being in his front lawn like a sad dog, but for some reason his mind was derailed to the point of fascination by Benrey’s Adventures in Free PlayStation Plus.

“So you got PS Plus, were you, were you just doing that for four years? Were you just gaming the entire time?”

“Nah man, I was…sleep.”

“For four years? You slept for four entire years?”

“Yeah I got really tired after the uh, the heist. So I had a big sleep. I woke up though. That was kinda sucks.” That checked out, considering what happened after they had their heist in another world, but now Gordon was concerned about how Benrey remembered the heist; nobody was supposed to remember the heist except for Gordon, he vaguely recalls that he and the Player agreed to the Science Team forgetting the heist. Tommy kinda remembered, but only the parts where he had asbestos poisoning. Well, he supposed since Benrey didn’t count as a member of the Science Team, maybe him remembering wasn’t a problem, for now.

“They gave me one month of PS Plus after I woke up and came back. I like video games…can’t play video games in the other place though, so I agreed to the free month.” Benrey continued. He nodded and shook his head while explaining his story, always at the appropriate times where a head movement seemed necessary, almost like it was practiced.

“So you…” Gordon continued the conversation, trying to feel out if maybe he was being led into a false sense of security. “You played Heavenly Sword for a whole month without eating or sleeping?”

“Yea-no?? I ate…pigeons and…” He looked directly at Gordon, he was processing something again, “…tree rats.”

“Squirrels?”

“Yeah those.” His scrunched face changed to a neutral-looking smile.

He had seen Benrey eat pigeons back in Black Mesa, so he wasn’t too surprised the man had eaten squirrels; it seemed like a logical next step. It made sense, Gordon was pretty sure a diet consisting solely of cheese puffs and 7Up (he was pretty sure that’s what gamers ate) could kill even the hardiest of immortals.

Actually, Benrey didn’t mention eating any sort of fruit just now, did he just leave them out on purpose or, was he some sort of obligate carnivore? He probably should have focused on that more than on what he asked next.

“You cooked those before you ate them, right?”

“No. Sorry, I don’t have uh…microbe-wave.”

Gordon just stared at him. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was.

“Tastes better with the hair on ‘em anyways.”

“I’m not a medical doctor, but I’m pretty sure…that you’re gonna get a disease…” Gordon tried to choose his next words carefully. He really, really tried. But his brain was fried from the interview and the exhaustion was starting to catch up. “…Salmonella. You’re gonna get salmonella if you keep eating raw meat like that.”

It was Benrey’s turn to stare again.

“Oh, who am I fucking kidding?” Gordon threw his hands in the air, “You’re some sort of thing from another world, the bacteria probably just goes right through you!”

“There are…” Benrey paused, his face morphed into a mischievous, shark-toothed grin. “…yo there’s Bakugan in my meat?”

He laughed. Gordon laughed and laughed and laughed until he fell over drunk from the shock of Benrey’s statement, and then laughed until the tap ran dry and he was sober enough to wheeze a response. “No! That’s not-Benrey that’s not what I said at all. I expect that kind of joke from Tommy! Oh my god…”

All of the neighbors peaked over or around to see the commotion at this point. Gordon didn’t feel any need to acknowledge them any as he shakily pushed himself upright, they were used to the bullshit that followed him around by this point, they were just really nosy. They were gone as quickly as they arrived, by which point he was now sitting on the opposite side of his gnome. “Do…Do you wanna like…come inside or something, man?”

“No, I don’t like the color beige.”

In his hysterical drunkenness, Gordon had almost been willing to invite Benrey into his refuge, but the hospitality had now been lost.

He was seeing red again. “How did you know my walls were-? Did you noclip into my house?!” He took his glasses off and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Fucking-! I keep getting fucking distracted! Dude!!!!”

Benrey watched Gordon gesture wildly with the hand not carrying his glasses around, directing every movement towards him.

“Why are you HERE?!” He screamed.

Benrey looked at the ground. “That’s uh, private information.” Slowly his head drifted towards Gordon again, he could faintly see the man’s creepy eyes follow the seams of his suit. “…Yo, we dressing up for movie night tonight?”

Gordon stiffened, standing back up. “How do you know about movie night?”

If Benrey knew about movie night, then either somebody told him, or…

“Tommy told me.” Benrey answered quickly, “Well, uh…he told his dad, and his dad told me. Mister Coolguy, Mister Govern-Mant, he got me the free month of PS Plus.”

Benrey fidgeted with the hem of his shirt again, sort of messing with it like he was messing around with a game controller while his mouth bubbled Sweet Voice and word salad.

“Like…he said he was going to buy more when it ran out, and now it’s been a month and my PS Plus ran out…twenty minutes ago.”

“We’ve been talking for about five minutes or something,” Gordon looked at his wrists. There wasn’t a watch on either of them, but it felt important to visually convey the flow of time. “So you’re telling me that your PS Plus ran out fifteen minutes before you got here, and you couldn’t wait another five or so for Mister Coolatta, for Tommy’s dad to renew it again? The PlayStation has games that aren’t multiplayer, you couldn’t play any of those for a while?”

Benrey averted his gaze. “I could but…”

He waited, but Benrey didn’t continue his statement. He was starting to consider the possibility that Benrey was lying out of his ass right now and that he had simply stolen enough information from the Science Team to keep Gordon preoccupied while they all died a slow, painful and permanent death before killing Gordon himself. He waited another two minutes before breaking the silence, hoping maybe that Benrey didn’t know that Gordon knew what he was planning. “But what? Why won’t you play single player games?”

Benrey looked at the ground again. “…I’d like to go inside the house now please?”

“Uh-?”

“WAIT! Can we go to my house instead? Pretty please?” He asked in earnest, pulling off a fucked-up alien version of ‘sad anime eyes’.

Well, if Benrey really was distracting Gordon to leave the Science Team dying somewhere, he did a scarily good job at hiding that fact. He must have been trying to get him into a secondary location to finish the job.

Hastily, Gordon tried to come up with an excuse while he put his glasses back on.

“Uh, sorry man. I wish I could, but uh, the guys are gonna be here in about…an hour, and I still need to change into some normal clothes and figure out what we’re eating for movie night. So-“ He twisted away from Benrey pulling something out and trying to force it into his line of sight, reminding Gordon of his various intrusive thoughts of being kidnapped in the past few years.

Benrey frowned. “Bro it’s paper.” He shook the parchment around for demonstration.

Through a partially-covered mouth, Gordon asked “Can you please not shove paper in my face?”

Benrey responded by wobbling the paper more until Gordon finally accepted it.

“Fine, what is this?”

“Mm…list. Food list.”

“Food list?”

“Food list.”

The paper that the list was written on had been improperly torn from a spiral notebook; you could easily see where the lower half of the page was simply ripped instead of following the tear-away lines. The handwriting on it, by contrast, looked incredibly clean, almost like it was typed out aside from a few blemishes of human error like scribbles over spelling mistakes or a long line from where somebody had made an order and then at the last minute asked for something completely different, much to the chagrin of the transcriber.

“…This is really nice handwriting.” Gordon admitted.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, prompting him to look over his messages.

One of them was an unflattering picture of him from a few minutes ago, dying of laughter in his front yard, sent by his neighbors from across the street to the neighborhood group chat.

‘This idiot can’t even comprehend the true form of Gnome Chompski’s attack. XD Ignore the guy in the back dunno who he is.’

Thanks Gina and Colette, very cool.

The other message was from Bubby, so maybe the rest of the Science Team wasn’t dead after all. At the very least, Bubby wasn’t dead.

‘You’d better be goddamn home by now. I’m changing my order again. I want a Sausage Melt, and I want my hash browns smothered and diced. Also, Harold wanted to make sure you added pecans to his chocolate chip waffles. If you forget those nuts again and he cries, I WILL make it your problem.’

“Did Bubby change his order again?” Benrey asked, his expression dead serious. He didn’t wait for an answer, apparently he could just tell from Gordon’s expression and considered that enough to snatch the paper from his hands and scratch out one of the orders with a pen he pulled out from hammerspace. “This fuckin’ guy, I can’t believe it. This is the THIRD time man.”

“I think I can handle the orders from here.” Gordon said. He got the list back without much of a fight, which was preferable to getting into a tug-of-war over a piece of paper.

“I will…see you later?” He slowly backed away from Benrey to get inside his house, tripping as the terrain switched from grass to concrete beneath his feet. “I’m going to go inside now and…do the stuff I said I needed to do!” His hand clutched the door knob, and immediately Gordon turned around to wiggle it open. His face paled with realization that his initial plans to bolt at the first sign of a threat would not have worked anyways, not solely because Benrey could noclip through objects, but also because Gordon would not have had the time to unlock his front door before Benrey did…whatever the fuck he had planned.

Just like in the horror movies.

Shit.

Gordon was a fucking horror movie protagonist and he wasn’t even one of the long-lasting ones. He was the final girl from the first movie that they kill off at the start of the second to make a point.

“Hey man, you dropped this.”

A key ring appeared in his peripheral vision. Gordon strained his eyes to meet Benrey’s line of sight, the man had that deceptively innocent smile from before as he held the keys out like a joy-buzzer.

He took his keys back with the speed and grace of a claw machine, unlocked the door, and just stared longingly at the interior for a minute.

“Inside? Inside for Benrey?”

“Yeah, sure thing man…” Gordon sighed and walked inside, letting Benrey follow behind. If he was going to die, might as well get comfortable first.

[6point5crows]

KUWESPER:

I genuinely believe that Kuwesper may be one of my favorite ships ever, and the way I can genuinely feel that it could happen in canon as well! Now, lemme give some quick explanation as to why:

Kuwesper, aka Kuwei x Wylan x Jesper, would be a polyamorous ship where all three involved would be dating each other. I believe that Kuwei would naturally be drawn to Wylan as he was with Jesper, especially after Wylan’s face was changed back to normal once more. I mean— here’s another scientist who is able to throw the same energy he is received back, also having gone through abuse of some kind with a father somehow related, and being the son of somebody very highly known and further being sough after due to this.

I know that relating does not equal attraction, but it can spark an understanding between the two of them which would cause them to be able to have further conversations and bonding moments. The moment they’d cross that first hurdle of realizing just how much they can relate to one another, it would be cascade of just being nerdy together, taking time to listen to one another, nights they’d spend together in a lab or even just outside somewhere— pretending that together they are just normal boys without a fathers’ fame and reputation to have been given to their shoulders. They’d start noticing the little details about each other… How much it felt like an autumn night beside a campfire when they are together.

Then of course, we already know the Wylan x Jesper bit of all of this. But what about Kuwei x Jesper? I mean, people must wonder why Kuwei decided to crush on Jesper of all people? (Although I do hc that Kuwei had been drawing Wylan before his face was changed and does so in Ravka still…)

After Kuwei was trapped and imprisoned for so long, where he was tortured and put under extreme pressures, he is obviously going to get attached to the person who shows to be the complete opposite of that. Jesper is shown to be the kind of guy who doesn’t follow all the rules, who is able to walk as if there’s no weights to carry at all, slinging his guns around with a smile. Kuwei could feel himself be free around Jesper, to be drawn to his whole vibe and become drunk off of it. Meanwhile Jesper seems to already like the science-y type, so he would look at Kuwei’s notebook of inventions and formulas and get all interested in him. I could go on and on about how they’d all fall in love but— I digress.

Together, Kuwesper would fight the expectations given to the three of them, and would learn how to create a world of their own making. Of course with some headcanons such as… Kuwei steals all of their shirts and hoodies… Kuwei and Wylan bicker the most about the silliest of things… etc etc. Kuwesper would make such a cute relationship and honestly the only thing on my mind most days.

Plus— the world needs more poly representation. The only real representation of poly relationships seems to be the classic: “Love triangle” “No Communication” “Just exists for the sexual aspect.” Unhealthy and toxic ways to show relationships like these. In fact, the way society (even LGBTQ+ community!) treats poly relationships is completely different than how any other relationship is treated. There’s always that certain look or tone of voice I’m sure every poly person has seen/heard, and always the same phrases that seem innocent on the surface until you put it into the perspective of what that person is actually saying.

The amount of polyphobia there is within the LGBTQ+ community and overall society as a whole is… daunting to say the least. It’s constant assumptions and judging and weird looks. To top it all off: hardly any representation besides the ones that make the poly relationship into the antagonist of the story. I can go into so much detail but I’ll save that for a post more centered around that.

What I’m getting at is that— this is why I hold Kuwesper very high in my heart and why I will always defend this ship. You may be thinking, “But what about the whole point that this was a jealousy thing?” This is where healthy communication comes in so they all get an understanding of each other and feelings. This is where they would talk it out and realize why people did what they did and accept each other. This is where polyamorous people are given healthy communication representation rather than just the basic “nobody talks to anybody unless it’s behind their back” tropes.

Let poly people have Kuwesper!!

(I’m gonna post so much about these three omg)

[bfpnola]

hello! I have mental illness myself, and have recently begun diving into your resources. I agree that your mental condition does not determine who you are, but growing up, I had a parent with NPD who was extremely abusive. I know it's not meant in a way to pretend abuse isn't real, but when I see things like "narcissistic abuse isn't real", it makes me really uncomfortable- because I have suffered it myself. I still am learning about things, so I may be misinformed, but doesn't NPD mean your personality- who you are- is supremely arrogant and self-centered, with no regard for others? The only explanation I have come up with is that creating personality disorders to label bad people is what's wrong, but I really would appreciate your response.

hey! thank you so much for sending in a question. and thank you to the 5 folks who helped out by adding their input during the making of this post. let’s break this down together!

when someone says "narcissistic abuse isn't real," it's the part in reference to NPD that matters. when we rush to automatically equate a diagnosis with abusive behavior, in many ways, we are leaning into sanism and eugenics, often the very same biologically-dependent attitudes that criminalize people of color. the abuse you faced was real and i don't think anyone should be allowed to erase those experiences for you! continuing, personality can and does influence behavior. all of these things can be true while also accepting that having NPD does not automatically make someone abusive or somehow more prone to abusive behaviors, even if that was only implied.

why though? for one, because saying the opposite absolve us of our power as well! as humans, we are all capable of harm, of hurting people, even in egregious ways. this was something i personally struggled with literally up until a couple months ago when i hurt someone i really loved. i wanted to be a good person so badly, and those around me knew how much good i was capable of spreading, so certain actions continued to slide. the reality is that i'm not just good or just bad, but human! i'm capable of hurting other people, and that's so scary to me, but it's the truth. and that's the same for everyone else. as some of our friends in BFP even said just now (not sharing their names for privacy purposes), no one (i hope) walks around saying "depressive abuse" or "PTSD abuse" even though people with these disorders are equally capable of perpetuating harm, like anyone else. cluster B disorders are constantly demonized when in reality, you and i could have both been abused by a "regular" person just the same. erasing our capability to harm not only makes it harder to hold one another accountable in the future (why should i get help or change my behavior when it's due to my disorder?), but equally pushes forth a narrative that the DSM (the book used to diagnose people) is law. what do i mean by that though?

in mad studies, we acknowledge that the DSM, rather than having distinct diagnoses with quantifiable, empirical symptoms like literally any other field of science, groups together pre-existing symptoms that tend to appear together and labels them. the diagnoses we receive are better to be thought as shorthand for clusters of commonly comorbid behaviors. and what of these symptoms? who gets to decide what irregular behavior looks like? who are we comparing Mad individuals to? who represents the norm, the "regular" i mentioned earlier? psychiatry and psychology are extremely biased, my favorite examples of which are drapetomania (a "mental illness" meant to explain why enslaved Africans kept running away from plantations), The Protest Psychosis: How Schizophrenia Became a Black Disease by Jonathan Metzl, hysteria, and prolonged grief disorder. none of this is to say that diagnoses can't be helpful or that your experiences aren't real, but to be wary of the subjectivity, biases, hierarchies, and abuse intrinsic to the field.

because of everything i just said, i feel uncomfortable setting clear delineations for what NPD is and isn't, so i'll leave that part up to a volunteer of ours actually with this diagnosis:

firstly, at our cores we are very insecure about ourselves. we put on a façade of grandiosity to feel better about ourselves and to avoid showing people our insecurities. most of us were hurt by people close to us when we were children, most commonly caretakers, and we do our best to avoid showing this insecurity and hurt. secondly, our self esteem tends to be reliant on the opinions of others. we depend on approval from other people to feel good about ourselves, because we're so insecure. NPD is also characterized by delusions of grandiosity, which is the most stereotypical feature of the disorder. but there's more than just grandiosity. we also experience what's called a "narc crash" (or just a "crash"), which typically happens after a grandiose high. these crashes involve feelings of intense shame, self hatred, etc. the other thing i would include in a definition of NPD is the fantasies, because we hate ourselves so much we are often preoccupied with fantasies of power, success, and fame to help us feel better about ourselves. in short, NPD is defined by extreme insecurity masked by delusions of grandeur, which are followed by crashes. it is also defined by dependence on others for validation since we cannot validate ourselves. a lot of people assume that we just have inflated egos and love ourselves so much, but it's all a façade to hide our extreme insecurity and lack of self worth.

TLDR: 1) the phrase "narcissistic abuse isn’t real" does not erase any abuse you faced by someone who may have had NPD but rather recognizes that the implication of all people with NPD or Cluster B disorders being abusive is not only harmful to everyone but bleeds into eugenics. 2) it's important to be wary of how we deify the DSM and the diagnoses it provides, as it perpetuates the active dehumanization of people who don't meet a certain standard. a standard set by whom? 3) NPD is characterized by extreme insecurity and dependence on others for validation, followed by crashes due to delusions of grandeur clashing with reality.

if you have any more questions, please keep sending them in to @bfpnola! for more on mad studies, here’s our study guide for beginners.

-- reaux (she/they)

[doctorbrown]

Hey! Rewatching animated series made me realise that Jules might be a papa's boy. What do you think? Any hcs of them??? I genuenly love reading your posts!

Hi!! First off aaaa thank you for popping by and the interactions and questions and liking my stuff—I appreciate it immensely and I'm honoured to hear you enjoy reading my stuff!

Second, okay—I've got lots of headcanons about the boys and I will definitely share some. I adore them immensely and I love how much of their parents you can see passed down to them while they're still doing their own thing.

To start, Jules is absolutely a papa's boy. He's his father's son, there's no question about it, and Doc is one of his greatest role models. While Verne absolutely loves his father and enjoys getting involved in Doc's projects when he can and wants his attention and love too (Doc loves his boys equally, of course, avoiding any shows of favouritism), he's very much a mama's boy. Verne is Clara's son through-and-through and you see that so much in their curiosity, their quick, sometimes snappish wit, and their hot temper. Clara would be the first out of them to engage in a confrontation, as would Verne.

However, one of the big exceptions is when some of the other kids are talking shit and saying nasty things about Doc, Clara, or one of the boys; both of them will jump in a heartbeat to defend their family—and it really annoys them because there are so many great and amazing things their father has done in the field of science that the world will never know about because they're related to the big family secret. They only wish they could rub it in the faces of their classmates so they'll stop calling their family weird and crazy and all manner of other things.

Jules feels it a little more intensely than Verne, because of the two brothers, Jules is the first one to be likened to his father and that doesn't spare him any mockery from his peers.

Both of Doc's sons are exceptionally brilliant, far beyond the level of their peers—the apple doesn't fall far from the tree—but Jules, like Doc, leans much more into the intellectual aspects of life over the emotional (unlike Verne, who lives guided/influenced more by his heart) and is often flaunting his intelligence even when he doesn't mean to. He enjoys learning and will lose himself in whatever new topic he's studying or project he's working on. Like Doc, Jules is on the path to fast-track his life.

However, unlike his father (and even Verne), Jules doesn't have quite the same level of self-confidence for himself that gets him to be more loud and boisterous. His temperament is also much more like Clara's, as Jules isn't as obvious with his feelings, nor is he extremely quick to share them. He's far more cool-headed and relaxed than Doc or Verne. Jules also cares far more about what people think of him, his family, and places a very high value on his intellect, fearing that he'll somehow be seen as lesser if he can't live up to his own standards. Clara and Doc never push him to do things he doesn't want to do—they're always encouraging the boys to pursue whatever it is that makes them happy, whether it's in the sciences or not—or (they hope) make him feel like he has exceptionally large shoes to fill, but Jules has it in his head that he's almost expected to be like his father and that, somehow, he'll disappoint them if he isn't.

Verne, however, lives on the opposite end of the spectrum, letting his heart lead and willing to go wherever he wants, even if he makes a whole slew of mistakes along the way. Confidence is something he grows up to have in spades, especially when he's more certain of himself and where he wants to be. Verne's the kid who might get into a fight trying to defend somebody and his teachers might all think he's just a little troublemaking punk, but other than a few incidents on record, Verne's a fine student with exceptionally high marks.

Verne is a little more calculating with when he lets his intelligence show. In a way, he learns to weaponise it, drawing on everything he's learned from his brilliant parents when it's necessary to do so. He keeps his exam grades a secret in school because while he doesn't want to lie about it per se, he doesn't want his intelligence to become one of his defining features and, really, it's nobody's business. Verne fits more of the picture you'd have of the average kid/teenager. He gets into trouble like it's his job, he likes to play pranks, stay out late, he's got a sharp tongue, he begs Marty to teach him how to skateboard or rent scary movies for him and his friends to watch because they're too young, all of that.

Their personalities clash quite a bit and both of them think it's fun, as siblings to, to try and get under the other's skin and drive them crazy. Sometimes, there's a little sibling rivalry going on—they'd even fought about which one of them their parents loved better. Their arguments got heated enough to the point where they needed Doc and Clara to step in and intervene and say they're being ridiculous, that they don't love one over the other.

But I got a little rambly and sidetracked so more on Jules absolutely being a papa's boy (I hope)—

He was the first kid, so Doc absolutely doted on him. I think Jules was also a little afraid when he was younger that getting a little brother meant that his parents weren't going to love him anymore; Doc and Clara noticed that he was acting strangely and went to great lengths to assure their young boy that they were going to love him just the same. He warmed up to Verne relatively quickly. It still took a little time.

Jules, whenever he was having problems, would typically go seek out his father for advice; he was more comfortable around him. Jules also really loves the way Doc explains things; for a little while, when he was younger, he tried to mimic Doc in the grandiose and enthusiastic way he could talk about anything, especially the stories about his life or the lessons he was teaching, but he never could quite nail that because, for him, it felt awkward and unnatural. Doc noticed this pretty quickly and it was pretty comforting for him to hear that he doesn't need to act like anyone else; he just needs to be himself. What did feel natural was learning how to approach things from a more logical perspective, just like his dad did.

Doc is one of Jules' role models, no question. He's so proud and awed and impressed by his dad and he (and Verne too, tbh) considers himself lucky to be Emmett Brown's son. Even if it's difficult some days.

Both boys spent a lot of time hanging around (when they were allowed) near Doc's workspace or helping out in small ways with building the Time Train. Verne enjoyed the science parts of it to an extent, but he was more excited to be involved than anything else. Jules always had a dozen questions or more ready to throw at his father while they were working and Doc would answer them with as much detail as was appropriate to at the time.

I also see Jules following somewhat in Doc's footsteps and pursuing a career in the sciences, however I can see him leaning more towards medical sciences, just wanting to help people. Who knows; like his dad, he might make a breakthrough in his field someday—

[simlit]

for the Character solidifying asks.. I am going to be the sneaky one and ask for all you haven't answered for Xiaoming (or as many as you feel like.. cause I need to know all!)

1. How does your character think of their father?

Xiaoming’s father was incredibly strict, and pushed for excellence. Both Xiaoming and his mother were subjected to a certain set of standards which they were made to uphold. Xiaoming doesn’t hold deep sentimental opinions about most people, his father is no different. He respected him, though was not always capable of meeting those standards when he was younger, and was often punished. Regardless, he understands that his father was responsible for instilling a certain drive in him.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her?

Xiaoming respected both his parents, but it was not a household filled with love. His mother was kinder, but she was also the lady of a great house and he didn’t have a close personal relationship with her.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why?

Xiaoming is an only child.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

As stated, it was incredibly strict. He was taught important values from a young age. His father was a traditionalist, so Xiaoming was expected to behave and perform as a son should. He was taught principles of filial piety, loyalty, perseverance, and of the importance of strengthening both his body and mind through dedicated studies and training. He was born to a wealthy, upperclass family, but he was not afforded any leeway because of it. His father wanted him to know humility and to have the wisdom to be able to survive without opulence.

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

He wasn’t given any sort of advantage, despite having money and means. His father specifically hired mentors who would offer exceptional challenges to his son.

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

Rejection, but I don’t think the opposite of that is affection. Nor do I think it’s necessarily a bad thing to have faced rejection. When Xiaoming performed well, he was told as much, an when he did not, he was told just as much lol.

7. What was the economic status of their family?

The Qiao Family were definitely upperclass, but not necessarily nobility. His father had been a general in the military and was celebrated for his great successes, so their name was well known even prior to Qiao Xiaoming’s notoriety.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

Xiaoming is a practicing Taoist. He observes the precepts in his daily life, and seeks balance and harmony through cultivation. He will very rarely break these tenets, and sees malevolent spirits and demons as an abomination of those values.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

Xiaoming is incredibly well-educated. He’s knowledgeable about many disciplines, such as religion, history and geography. He was taught mathematics and science, but he preferred languages and literature in academia. He can speak many different languages, and dialects, and has memorized many epic poems and can recite them at will. Most people are awed by his intelligence, and can tell he is “well-bred” from his manner of speaking.

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

His “profession”, if you want to call it that, I’m not sure if I would lol, but he offers his services as a cultivator and swordsman. This can be a variety of things, such as expelling demons, exorcising possessions, conducting further purification ceremonies, and mentoring young cultivators and aspiring swordsmen.

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

He travelled more when he was younger, though not as much anymore. He finds he is most useful in small villages, helping those who may not have much means in life. He currently resides at the teahouse, which is located at a “conjunction” between the spirit world and the human world, so there is frequently demonic activity and wayward souls seeking his guidance.

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

Xiaoming is incredibly proper. He is well-mannered and respectable in most all confrontations. Even if provoked, his responses are minute, as he practices an emotionless path of cultivation (see previous ask). He doesn’t have any heroes, per se, and would never feel hatred towards anyone or anything, but he certainly dislikes demons and malevolent beings who deliberately twist good people and sow chaos.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Xiaoming doesn’t consider anyone to be his “friend”, even if they might think of him that way. He has fine relationships with most people in the teahouse, but doesn’t let people get close to him on a personal level.

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

He absolutely does not think of anyone in a romantic way. For one, his cultivation doesn’t allow him to, and secondly, he finds the idea abhorrent. Sex is absolutely out of the question lmao. He is 1000% a prude and yes, it drives Kaizen up the wall. Xiaoming would never seek, nor desire a relationship, though, you could consider his dynamic with Kaiz a “partnership”. Xiaoming dislikes most demons, and Kaizen is not an exception to that rule, but he is also incredibly powerful, and instead of burning all his qi vanquishing him, Xiaoming instead brokered an “arrangement” with him. Kaizen is not allowed to torment humans so long as he resides in the mortal realm, but he may reside at the teahouse and use willing participants (paying customers only) to satiate his sexual cravings under the stipulation that he releases them afterwards.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Xiaoming enjoys reading, playing the guzheng, and meditating. He loves peace and quiet and being left the hell alone lmao.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Both Xiaoming’s residence and personal appearance are much the same. He embraces modesty and humility, and does not have a great deal of material possessions, mostly only what he requires. He dresses just as modestly, and rarely shows much skin. He prefers to dress traditionally, and will most usually be seen with his hair up, even when alone or at home.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

We’ll say this answer is not necessarily “canon”, but more a hypothetical future. Xiaoming would play hard to get for a long time, as in, decades, if not centuries of rebuffing Kaizen’s advances. Kaizen is patient, but it would all come down to a certain trigger. If that reality comes to pass, Xiaoming might give in to Kaizen. Having spent years aside him as courteous companions, they do have a lot of rapport with one another. Kaizen has moments of seriousness, which Xiaoming finds respectable. That’s not to say some small part of him isn’t still disgusted by what Kaizen is, but when the “humanity” breaks through the demonic façade is when Xiaoming would find him most attractive. They get along well in those instances. Xiaoming can actually talk to Kaizen quite openly. He values Kaizen’s ability to feel his emotions, without Xiaoming having to overtly express them. Secretly, he rather admires Kaizen’s commitment, even if he thinks it’s absurd that the demon might have dedicated his entire life to something so trivial (him, lmao). But the fact that in doing so, Kaizen is able to “learn” some semblance of respect and empathy gives Xiaoming hope that demons can be redeemed, too.

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

Pragmatically. He is quite unshaken. Nothing frightens or surprises him, so he’s able to respond to any situation logically.

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

Absolutely not. His beliefs prohibit drinking or recreational drug use. And his health is very important to him. He has a vigorous workout regimen and eats cleanly.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

He has no sense of humor whatsoever lmao.

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

Xiaoming is always very monotone and restrained. Because his cultivation path restricts him from being overly emotional, he rarely shows any sort of change in facial expression. His reactions would be incredibly slight, and only someone who spends extended amounts of time with him would notice them.