#science and things that is harder
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it's different too from scientific journal publications i feel like. maybe that's my own bias but i feel like those papers that language means something that can't be fully conveyed any other way. social sciences and literature type papers that is generally not true
#like if i'm summarizing a paper for patient outcomes in medical interventions#i can use more simple language but there is an extent where the details are being lost that actually are really important#for people in the field doing this work#txt#summarizing social science type papers i can summarize these points and there little to nothing lost i feel personally#i can discuss these topics and speak more casually and still fully be able to engage w the material#science and things that is harder
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tbh I don’t think therapy would have fixed Jayce and Viktor lmao. maybe would have softened their self-destructive tendencies but there’s no fixing that co-dependent relationship. Heimerdinger Mel and Sky are told “yeah, I can help treat their individual depressions but nothing is gonna reduce their co-dependency. I’m pretty sure separating them makes it a lot worse for not only them but much worse for everyone else. for everyone’s safety I suggest they’re not allowed to be more than a buildings length away from each other and even that is pushing it.” That therapist then quits on the spot cause now they’ve literally seen everything.
It’s like that scene in Brooklyn nine nine where all the physiatrists are observing and talking with Gina but instead it’s a whole crew of therapists and neurologists and physiologists trying to find out how these two men literally mind-melded together. They go to couples therapy but it’s literally just individual therapy held together because why tf not it’s the only way to get them to go.
#in therapy like well Viktor doesn’t sleep well and I think it’s because he keeps dreaming about that time when he was 12 and got sick#the therapist is like well does Viktor tell you this and Viktor is like no I didn’t tell him that recently but that is why I can’t sleep#this is how their therapy is paid for btw that team dealing with them is getting research papers and grants and funding#their award winning paper is about codependency and the end of the world and shit#one therapist suggests they spend a few days apart and the next time they come back talk about it#and all those two can do is just info dump to each other about random shit they did and thought about while they were apart#they didn’t even do the same things but for some reason complete each others sentences#the therapist is like how did you know????? and they’re like well it’s so obvious what he did while I was away#and it’s just science and science and science#that therapists just quits and leaves Piltover#gets tf away from those two#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayvik#jayce was like well last time I was separated from Viktor he almost died and the second time I teamed up with a random girl and killed a ki#Viktor is like no way last time we were separated I experimented on myself with runes shimmer and the hexcore#AU sky doesn’t die btw#and they’re just like lmao oops too bad you weren’t there you probably would have stopped me#honestly they should have been exiled with the caveat they have to go together#these two get handcuffed together and their only problem is that it’s now harder to work in the lab
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I really like that old trope that's like adopted child realises they're adopted bc both their parents have blue eyes and they learn in science class that 2 blue eyed parents can't have a child without blue eyes mostly bc I used to read it and go "what an idiot how did you not notice you were adopted I mean both your parents have blue eyes haha couldnt be me" then last year I noticed both my parents have blue eyes and mine are Hazel
#anyway turns out its bullshit#the whole blue eyes thing#its just one of those they teach you it bc the real science is harder to explain#anyway the funniest part of this story#is that i finally noticed that my dads eyes were blue#i told him like “i never noticed you have blue eyes”#and he goes “no i dont”#anyway turns out my dad is colour blind lol
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Experimentation (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Continuing the theme of memories and what Gaster ruined for them haha#He doesn't even have to be here and he's making their lives harder! Par for the course#Lots of things have the potential to trigger their memories - a familiar smell or a food they recognize#But there were so many things they never experienced and sifting between them is very difficult!#Especially considering most of what they ''remember'' is actually just their Reaction to Something - like the smoke smell making them tense#Sans here getting a Reaction for sure tho - being questioned and experimented on does Not feel good#It's Papyrus doing it so that's one thing but even still - not having fun with this#Papyrus is so curious! He wants to know! He always seems to be a bit left out on finding things out haha#Sans being the more science-minded of the two probably has an impact there - ask your brother he'll help figure it out#Unless he really doesn't want to because it feels weird please stop (lol)#Still tho being asked to eat things as an experiment? ''oh hey bro maybe going to grillby's will remind me of something'' ''SANS'' lol#Papyrus didn't mean anything by continuing to ask questions he's just curious!#Sans goes to write down the results and then feels Even Worse so scribbles them out#''don't tell me what to do!'' directed nowhere in particular#Tries really hard to put it out of him mind A Lot#This remembering business sure is uncomfortable!#Look what you did Gaster you took a perfectly fun data-gathering session and turned it into something they'll need therapy for!
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A side effect of all these lab and workplace safety trainings is wanting to fistfight my former employer because I KNEW they were shit at safety things but I just keep discovering worse and worse things I didn't recognize at the time.
I was supposed to have extra training before being expected to determine which waste was hazardous? Well THAT didn't happen! Do you know how much time and stress I expended on that? On not really knowing because there was no place to get the information as far as I could tell and my boss didn't know or care either? Because everyone says SDS sheets should tell you and they never do? I ended up just putting anything I couldn't figure out into haz waste for EHS to deal with. Better safe than poisoning people. But that should never have been my responsibility.
It is also so validating to see "never work with hazarous materials alone" in official rules. I KNEW that was fucked up, but it was what everybody did and I had nothing but my gut telling me it was bad. My gut is often wrong - I'm autistic and have an anxiety disorder. But I was right about this and so much else. The worst thing about safety issues in that job was how it made me feel like I was the one being unreasonable for following the rules and common sense.
And I'm still scared my new job might be like that too, when I get through the online trainings and start doing real lab work with real people. I took plenty of lab trainings before and so did everyone else, they just never followed them. I've not been in a lab where people followed their own safety rules in a VERY long time - not since high school chem. The hypocrisy is infuriating, and the way I've been treated like I'm crazy for wanting to be safe just hits all the wrong buttons.
I have an anxiety disorder which means my gut is usually wrong and I've been trained to ignore it or even do the exact opposite of what it says. I'm autistic which means I've survived by going with the flow of Normal People Interactions even when they make no sense or seem like building or even hurt me - and when I don't do that, I've been bullied and punished and treated like a space alien. The very skills that have kept me safe before are now also putting me in danger and I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to adjust. I can't just overturn all my social scripts overnight, no matter how much I want to. I have been taught to doubt myself, that when other people disagree with me I must by default assume they're right and I'm being crazy and/or oversensitive. That instinct is gonna take time to unlearn, and it's not even that simple - i need to learn what situations it still applies in and which it doesn't.
I hope I'll be safe now, in a lab that has much better safety protocols, but I won't really know if people follow them until I get to do real work. That could be a week or two, since I have a mountain of paperwork to get through first. And the suspense is awful. I wish I could just ask someone without sounding crazy: "hey you know all these trainings? Do people... actually do what they say? For real?"
#hylian rambles#hylian does science#i feel so guilty for not fighting back harder at my previous job#and i know it won't get better for the people still there#i have friends there#should i warn them? would they think I'm crazy if i did?#would it change anything?#not osha compliant#like really REALLY not#i wish I'd known then all these things i know now about all the ways it was messed up
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this is an advertisement for my discord server where you can see this kind of bullshit every day
#joking#i’m sorry guys i just feel so much like i’m suffocating lately#my dreams are all about dying#and failure#college is not for the faint of heart ‼️#my humanities degree is out for blood#why wasn’t i a stem student#i could’ve been doing science#but then i would’ve had to write lab reports and that’s so much worse than the thing i’m currently in tears about#kats updates#this is such a dumb post please do not take me seriously i just need to complain sometimes and now is one of those times in the extreme#i can’t even remember if i took my allergy pill and it’s been less than five minutes since i thought ‘i should take my allergy pill’#i keep praying that things will ease up but i think God is expecting me to face all of this head-on again and really#i would just like to curl up on the couch with my dog#ive cried an uncountable number of times this semester i cannot wait until it’s over#everything has been so much harder than normal#summer will be such a relief it doesn’t even matter that i’ll be working full-time#sob#kats vents#just a little bit#don’t mind me im just diary entry-ing#can’t talk to my therapist anymore so i’m talking to tumblr#i rly miss that guy i wish my insurance still covered it#u are missed doc#i’ll write about you#again
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we know about as much about momentum/acceleration generated artificial gravity, how to practically generate it, thresholds of tolerance, health effects of gravity <1g >freefall, etc today as we did 40 years ago. because no one has done any real significant testing except on spiders and mice and plants and those have been very limited. the ways in which they are limited have been quite unhelpful for practical problem solving.
we know what problems 0g causes for human health but we really have no idea what the effects of martian gravity would be on the human body for no real reason besides a lack of will to construct the necessary tests. which, to be clear, would be doable but non-trivial as they would involve significant engineering and manufacturing, but we are already wasting a lot of money doing pointless shit in LEO anyway
#you would need to construct at least modules for a space station#and they would probably need to be of significant diameter to not be immediately problematic#and they would also need significant engineering to avoid imparting force to whatever station they are attached to#almost certainly would have to be built in orbit#all to do something you know would almost certainly not be adequate the first go around to conduct tests that may not actually be ethical#but it would be better and cheaper than fucking Gateway. and would accomplish new science!#which is probably the most pointless thing NASA has ever done#“lets spend a few billion to make everything harder and worse and then never use the station anyway”#“why? well. we need to give jobs to the johnson space center people.”
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People need to stop telling me that I should go into fashion or art. I am going into SCIENCE and I will be the most best dressed person there. I will present ASTRONOMY things and have a matching outfit to go with it!!!!
#'oh you're so good at designing clothes you should go into fashion' god forbid a woman have hobbies#'oh you love sewing so much you should start making clothes professionally' I hate making more than one of something and I make it for me#'if you had a production line you could sell so many of these' I don't care. I make one thing and no more.#just because I like sewing doesn't mean I want to do it as a job#science is so much harder to have as a hobby#where am I going to walk into a lab and look at things for fun?????#they don't do that!!!! you have to be officially smart to use a lab!!!!!!!!!#ugh if I felt like dissecting this I could call it dissuading feminine people from going into STEM#tw caps#science#astronomy#opera omnia
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*collapses to ground bloody, sweaty, and exhausted from setting up a desktop shortcut for Minecraft*
#why was that SO HARD#windows 11 isnt the worst os ever but they do make a science out of making things harder than they need to be
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I desperately need a video essay that just goes through every met gala look and clocks whether or not they partnered with a black designer or a black person was at all involved in their look at all
#also i see a lot of posts like 'me looking at the met gala: wow they look nice; some 20-yr old: this look is a crime against humanity'#and like just shut up. some things arent for u. and ppl are allowed to have differing opinions if that makes u feel bad thats on u#this is not a regular red carpet this is not a show these ppl are going to and dressing nice for. the outfit IS the event.#its literally a walking art gallery promoting the actual art exhibition inside - did they meet the brief and expand beyond it? yes or no#would u pay to see this outfit? this is project runway. one of u is going home#it has little to nothing to do with these celebrities and whether u like them or think they look nice#we are talking about ART - why am i looking at boring art without meaning i deserve to be pissed if u put something boring in my face#bring art or go home why r u showing me a black dress. TRY HARDER. Grow some balls step ur pussy up#this is a science fair and ur letting these ppl get away with paper mache volcanos and getting mad that other ppl want more
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i think i have this issue of not laughing enough anymore so whenever i find anything at least a little bit funny around other people, i end up laughing disproportionately hard and being unable to stop for several minutes
#IT HAPPENS SO MUCH#usually with my brother but its also happened with my therapist and now at my school 😭 i look insane when it happens fuck#like these things really arent that funny but i just start cry laughing#we were doing a little experiment game thing in science yesterday and like#we had to use these tiny tweezers for it like they were TINY. because my teacher couldnt find anything else in time#and we were in groups and stuff. and we were all struggling to use the tweezers#and unfortunately i started laughing in particular at one of my teammates and she thought i was laughing *at her*#no 😭 the tweezerssss they were so small. it was like teeny tiny crabs#and what makes it worse is when other people laugh or point out my laughing LIKE I LAUGH EVEN HARDER THEN#why cant i control my body oh my goshhhh#my post#i wanted to say sorry but i didnt know how bro 😭
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I finished the indigo disk.....ouhhh Kieran 😭😭😭😭😭😭 UEUE💧💧🩷🩷💔🩷YUEHEHE💔🩷🩷😕UEHUUEJUEU💧💧💧😭😕😭💧😕💧 I LOVE YOU KIERAN 💔💔🩷💔🩷🩷🩷
#Carmine pissed me off so bad she needs to be humbled BADLY#i understand that he pushed you and everyone else away but omfg????? try harder dude. UGGGGHHHHH MEAN AS HELL OUHHH I HATE HER#and rhe MOMENT he starts to feel like himself again u start to push him around again OHHH OHV OYHHHGHEJKWOWW????? SHUT UPPPPPP#AND on top of that she thinks we're buddies. bro i hate u#u called me all sorts of things because i was visiting Kitakami for a school trip but ohhh as SOON AS U VISIT PALDEA U THINK U OWN THE PLACE#OKAYYYYY BUDDY SHUT UP#“Ummm!!! btw we had to deal with all sorts of pokemon while u were away too!!” THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME DO EVERYTHING STFUUUUUUUUUUU#u can afford to get your SCHOOL UNIFORM a little dirty in the name of science dude#sorry chat i really don't like Carmine#Kieran ily forever ur such a sweetie pie
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they should have let me on the mass effect writing team. production started when I was 6 years old but they still should have put me on there to make shit actually make sense and be compelling
#mads.txt#WHY DOES YOUR SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT WOKR LIKE THAT. I KNOW ITS A SCIENCE FANTASY STORY BUT IT DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE#THERES 3 GUYS WHO MAKE THE GALAXY'S MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS AND THEYRE ALL LIBERALS#YOU HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO INVENT ENTIRELY NEW POLITICAL BELIEF SYSTEMS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they needed it to be a hamfisted commentary about the government ig#i hate mass effect. if they'd just worldbuilt a little harder things could have been interesting#i love these games but also oh my god dude
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God it's genuinely incredible the sheer degree to which Pact is OC-bait
Given that it was written right after Worm- guessing the whole "supernatural powers which fundamentally stem from the character of the wielder" thing was still on his mind
#wonder if the reason Pact and Worm got sequels and Twig didn't is that it's just much easier that twig characters don't really do the thing#with personality based-powers#so it's harder to come up with new characters#though I guess it makes sense to some degree - Twig is about how the failings of societal pedagogy and more specifically the academic syste#and also mad science i guess#Pact is about Family - and also how much wizards suck#Worm is about how much superheroes suck- and also how much superheroes suck#two of the three are about way more personal things - focusing more on individuals than systems#Wizard and Superhero exist apart from society on a different level than the doctors and professors of the academy and their puppet-crown -#certainly they influence society from the shadows but they're a whole alternate society whereas the Academy is.. also seperated but like-#the one creating and enforcing the normal society in the first place i guess?#Pact#parahumans#hawk.txt#idk i'm talking out of my ass here I'm still on literally the 2nd chapter
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I think I need to work a medical, retail, or food job (or 2 if i can swing it) and I should save money so I can booth rent and open my own esthetics business. If I don't open my own, I just dont think im gonna get an esthetics job worth doing. This last job was insane and like...all these small business owners are ruining their clients skin and they don't care because all they see are dollar signs. And yeah money's important but it's just like..it was weird.
The business owner bought into a skincare line from Dubai (which is fine but none of the ingredients were in English and apparently she asked and they refused to translate and give a full list of the ingredients in English...and people have allergies so you can't just put some unknown creams on someone's face...that's a great way to get sued). And I counted 3 people out of my 8 clients of that last day alone who had reactions to the products so I was grabbing hot towels and wiping the creams off their face.
The only reason the manager chose the line is because the business conference was in Mexico and its like...okay great you got a free Mexico trip but at this rate you could seriously get in trouble? Putting unknown creams on someone's face?
Then clients would ask for no microdermabrasion because they had Rosacea or active acne and of course that's a contraindication so I wouldn't do it...and the manager would get mad at me (she had a facial listed in steps on a paper to follow) (the esthetician I shadowed said manager was a micromanager lol) and I completely understand that but if I do a treatment that makes their face worse...then that's bad. (And they specifically asked to skip that step, so why would I force it on them and make their skin condition worse?).
And every time they were glad I didn't do microdermabrasion and made an appointment to come back next time and I upsold other treatments for them during the visit to do instead of the microdermabrasion so they ended up paying for more than just the basic facial but still in the same allotted time frame and they were more than pleased. But the manager was furious and I would explain like hey they said no and hey that's a contraindication..and she'd just stomp off.
I was there for like not even 2 weeks and im like ??? Is this how yall run a business? Does she seriously think this is business savvy?
I don't know much but after talking my esthetician friends they're like dude just booth rent and do it yourself, the manager was stupid (I talked to them about it cuz I was spiraling). And they said I could come to them with questions (two esthetician friends work in my old home state but one is in the same state so thats super helpful)
I upsold to every client, every client made an appointment to come back and most took business cards to spread the word. So I know I have the upselling skills, I will just have to build up clientele...
So I just feel like idk. I should wait and save for a few months and see how I feel but I really hate medical work and I'm really disappointed I can't just work in an esthetician spa but maybe I should just do it myself.
#its so much harder for estheticians to find work#and even harder to find a job that actually wants to do things right#idk after talking to my esthetics friends and they booth rent it just makes the most sense#its going to take some time obviously but the more I think about working towards it the more I want it#im just frustrated I couldn't get any hands on experience working in a spa#and also Im wondering how long it will take before someone has a really bad allergic reaction to that skincare since#the manager added the skincare in like a month ago its very new#also I never knew what I was getting paid and the other esthetician didnt either it was just so unbelievably scummy#like how are these people staying in business? how is this working for them?#crazy to think about#anyway vent/rant over ive just been thinking a lot#it feels overwhelming when I think of doing it myself I dont feel like im experienced enough#but 2 of my friends booth rented starting with no experience#and theyre like youre acting like its rocket science but its not youll be okay#Idk im thinking a lot
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another thing they don't tell you about art is that you rarely ever have to draw the whole guy most of the time just below the shoulders is enough
#caterwauling#my hs science teacher was big into the work smarter not harder thing#and it took me 22 years (almost 23) to realize that this is the best way to make anything ever#shortcuts are awesome & you never have to give your 100% unless you want to. like 60% is fine. they'll never know
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