#schools would need a whole lot more funding

[penguicorns-are-cool]

Also because it's pretty shitty that schools are ranking kids like this at all. The school shouldn't be ranking children it's very unhelpful and gives everyone a really toxic mindset about it all.

You're either told that you're the main character and above everyone else or you're told you're not good enough and either way you're gonna grow up and be told that it was all a lie and didn't really mean anything. Except by then it's a bit late for it cause it was a formative part of your childhood and shaped your whole mindset

Either way you're having an unhealthy amount of pressure put on you to either try to get into the gifted spot or to prove you deserve that gifted spot. Either way you don't get the resources you need because your school is more focused on trying to measure your potential for intelligence than on effectively teaching you and supporting you

It's an extremely fucked up system and we should talk about it and how it absolutely shouldn't exist

ohhhhh I get it now. the "gifted kid" discourse exists because people see it fundamentally as a sign of Privilege and not as a largely meaningless category that puffs up weird children before setting them up for the same unremarkable lives as everyone else; thus they interpret people going "the educational system gave me false expectations before ultimately abandoning me to the same heartless world as everyone else" as "why am I, The Main Character, not getting everything I ever wanted."

[varpusvaras]

An AU in which Jason, upon returning to Gotham, gets really swept up into the whole crime lord thing, and never gets the time to go through with his revenge plan.

It starts small. He comes back and gets to work, and after a while, he has managed to carve out some of the crime from crime alley. This gets him noticed among some of the people there. One night, a group of thugs approach him, but instead of wanting to fight him, they want to work for him.

Jason, still fresh, with not much revenue coming for him yet, tells them that he isn't hiring because he cannot exactly pay them much. The thugs say that it doesn't matter, because they like what he is doing, and would like to be in on it anyway, and, well. If Jason has help managing other things, he can dedicate more time on his bigger plan, right?

Wrong. Things start to move much quicker now, and that means that more people come in and want to work for him. At this point Jason has money coming in, and he starts paying them, too, which makes more people come in, which in turn makes more money to come in as well. Jason can pay them more, and suddenly he notices a difference in many of the goons he has on his roster now. They seem happier. They joke more, many of them have better clothes on them, and they don't look so gaunt anymore, either.

Jason asks about it, once, and the goon tells him that they have had the money to buy actual groceries and new pair of boots, which makes living a lot more comfortable. They even got to buy their kid a new winter jacket! Now, if they save up a little bit, they will be able to get their kid new school books as well!

And Jason, Crime Alley boy Jason, who loved school and reading, feels his heart strings being violently yanked. Don't worry about the books, he says. I will take care of it.

At the end of the month, he has managed to organise a book delivery system for all the Crime Alley kids, where they get school books and picture books and science books about dinosaurs and angient Egypt and all that. He tells his goons that for every kid that stays in school for the semester, he will give them a bonus.

It works wonders. The amount of kids dropping out from school gets cut by 60 percent just during the first semester. The book system grows, and suddenly Jason finds himself pushing some money to get the old local library running again, to make things a bit easier. He even hires some people to run the system for him. Suddenly, he is like actually employing people. He needs an accountant. He hires one for himself, and then another one to run other funds.

Things just keep escalating after that. Local parent group starts to have meetings in the new library, and they put up a babysitting club and start a clothes exhange program as well, where you can bring all the clothes that are too small for you, and people get to take what they need home. A soup kitchen starts as well, first because the kids need snacks, and then it grows so much that Jason needs to find a place for it to run effectively and safely. Many local restaurants get into it as well, and their business starts to rise as well, because people who are fed and have warm clothes have more time and energy to seek for jobs. Many of them are still employed within just Crime Alley, though, because jobs elsewhere require an adress, and some people don't have those.

Jason thinks about himself, after his parents died, on the streets, trying to survive, and thinks never again. He tells his accountant to start budgeting for housing.

He needs to hire more people for it. He needs to run his crime empire, after all, he doesn't have the time for this.

He has so many people working for him now. There are a few thugs that were previously employed by other Gotham Rogues coming in as well, because they have heard good things about the Red Hood. The other Rogues are in and out of the prison or Arkham all the time and the pay isn't reliable and there is a high chance that you will get beaten up by one of the bats as well, and they don't really get offered medical services by their bosses, you know?

There's another thing. Jason now has to organize people to get first aid-training. And also get some sort of vaccination program going. And also get everybody dental.

It's all getting too much for him, really. He doesn't even have a high school diploma.

He mentions this to one of his goons one night, because they said that he looked stressed. Don't worry boss! The goon tells him. We will take care of things, if you want to go back to school! It would be a good example, too, for the older kids, who are still dropping out more than the little kids, you know?

So Jason goes back to school. God he loves school. He barely even thinks about his revenge plan anymore, because he is busy running his programs and studying and making plans with his goons.

He gets his diploma and then starts a community college so people can get degrees.

He then runs into an entirely new problem. The people look up to him, especially the kids. And now the kids also want to help him.

Jason, the second Robin, the bird with clipped wings, tells them no. Absolutely not. You are kids, go back to school, your bedtime is at nine.

He cannot control the older teens, though. They just tell him to fuck off and accept the help. Now train us, so we can start running the more specialized missions too. You can't be the only person jumping on rooftops. If you don't train us, we will do it anyway, dipshit. We ain't scared of you.

And suddenly Jason has his own vigilante team with him. His workers are unionizing. Some of them are actually running for the city council to get things addressed that need to be done the legal way. Crime rates have dropped by 70 percent around Crime Alley.

They can't really call it Crime Alley anymore, can they? It's Park Row again.

The bats are extremely confused by the new team. The Hoods, they call themselves. All of them with a red bat painted on their chests and fighting in an eerily similar manner to them.

Jason is not there on Thursdays. He is busy getting his English degree.

[moonlight-records]

Rich Boys Don't Have Hearts | LN4

pairing: Jock!Lando Norris x Nerd!Reader

summary: Formula Ivy Academy, or FIA for short, is the most renowned private in the world who takes such a select few. Usually those from wealth with status and secrets and so much to lose. Yet, you are selected to join the FIA on a full scholarship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain scares a lot students, especially their star athlete who will do anything to protect those he cares about. Though, he didn't expect you to have as much of a...bite to you for a little nobody.

warning: cursing, bribery, jealously, angst (ig???), possessive!lando maybe??? def ooc Lando at points i know it, leclerc & reeader are besties, open ending??? maybe???

fc: none!

wc: 4.4K

current | part 2

Formula Ivy Academy was the most renowned private school tucked away in Monaco for the brightest people. Whether that was inventors, politicians, artists, thinkers, or athletes was anybody’s guess since FIA was very hush hush about what happens behind their walls. Which, in theory, should be the first sign not to get involved with a school like that. With the amount of money, fame, and reputation of how secretive this academy was, why the hell would anybody want to go there?

Well, anybody who wanted to be anybody, obviously.

Everybody and anybody tried to get in. Thousands of applications went in every semester. Most applications that were submitted were from those that came from wealth that expanded to celebrities and even royalty applied and were rejected.

The rest of the world only dreamed of going there and some had the balls to apply though they knew that they would be rejected. They didn’t have the funds to cover even a quarter of the tuition cost. The only way most people would be able to get in was on a full ride scholarship and according to rumors, full ride scholarships to FIA was like winning the lottery. A one in a million chance for most people. It seemed that FIA was painfully selective about who they let in.

Yet, you were that one in a million person who got accepted into FIA with a full ride.

“Who is she?”

“I think that’s the new girl.”

“Really? She’s really pretty, how come she’s never been here before?”

“Rumor is she’s not from wealth.”

A few gasps erupted, “What?! How did she get in?”

“Full. Ride.” There were some murmurs, “apparently she was valedictorian at her high school and she applied and the school was impressed. She has to keep her GPA at least a 3.5 to keep her scholarship and,” there was a pause and throat cleaning, “she needs it if she’s going to stay.”

You roll your eyes hearing these girls before shaking your head. Casting your gaze at them the group quickly realized that they were talking much louder than attended and quickly scattered. You sigh softly while shaking your head because it was tiring.

You’ve been listening to the whispers and murmurs about yourself for almost a month straight since moving into the dorms back in August. The only places you found peace was in your dorm, since FIA had been so nice to accommodate you with a single room dorm so you can avoid that whole roommate thing, and the vast walls of the library but alas, instead you found yourself walking through campus as more people look and whisper.

You’re cutting through the green to get to your dorm building when a larger pair of Jordan clad feet fell into step besides yours. The pace was deliberate and rhythmic to match yours. You didn’t have to look over to know who it was. You stayed silent and forced your neck to look the other way though it’s no use. Everyone is looking at you and the new found walking partner though when you met their gaze they looked away. You let out a silent huff before craning your neck like a flower turning to the sun but the sun was actually the most annoying boy to ever roam campus who was 1 of FIA’s 20 star athletes and apparently, you’re upstairs neighbor that you try to avoid the best you can. He’s smiling, curly hair unruly, green and white jersey with his lucky ‘4’ on the front and his iconic gray sweatpants.

“Well, if it isn’t ‘Miss Popular’. You know I was getting a bit worried that you had already left before I got the chance to really know you.”

“First off, don’t call me ‘Miss Popular’ because I’m not,” you roll your eyes, “second you can’t get me to leave that fast. I’m sure the whispers and rumors about me are going to die down rather fast considering I think people are realizing that there really isn’t a lot going for me.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t have wealth like that nor do I care. I’m here to get my degree, make connections, and get a head start on my career and I plan to make sure that happens,” you glance at Lando then forward again, “There’s not much to me.” You shrug as you enter the building and you head down your hall towards your room.

“Bullshit.”

You scoff and look over at Lando, “excuse me?”

“I said bullshit. I don’t think that’s the real reason you’re here.” Lando stares down at you, “I doubt you’re just some random insanely smart person who got in with an amazing application. Celebrities and even royalties themselves get rejected but they let you in? Full ride? Just because they like you?” He scoffs. “But fine. Let’s go with that story but I highly fucking doubt that you’re going to keep your head down and just mind your business for the next four years. There’s a lot that happens here at FIA, a lot that would be rather dangerous if it got out. A lot of reputations on the line.” Holding out a stack of cash, “Maybe it would be for the best if you left, don’t you think?”

You stare at Lando in disbelief. Lando’s known as one of the friendliest athletes on campus. He’s always smiling and laughing and making everyone feel welcomed. Even you, the rare times you spoke before this moment but it became crystal clear in this moment that it was nothing more than a ruse to bribe you out of this school and this life. For what? Protecting the students' reputations? You could care less about your classmates and what they do in their spare time. It was none of your business and honestly you probably would forget about most of them and any scandalizing thing they do now.

But Lando wouldn’t believe that and it upset you more because it made sense. You were a nobody who got accepted into the most renowned school that was super selective. Everyone here had three things: money, power, and secrets. You have none of those. You are just a simple person with a simple life that really just wanted to further your education and make a better life for yourself so you didn’t have to worry when you grew older. Pay your parents back for all the sacrifices they made for you. Give back to your friends who saved you when you were drowning…or jumped in so you weren’t drowning alone. Unlike everyone else who had everything to lose and nothing really to gain, you had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

You stare at the stack of cash in Lando’s hand trying to mentally count how much was there, “How much—”

“100,000 in USD,” Lando finishes, “more than enough for you I’m sure. Unless you want me to just pay for whatever school you transfer to, I can do that as well.”

“No, no, the cash is fine—”

Lando smiles wider, “I th—”

You reach out for the money before slamming your hand down. The bills go everywhere as they fall from Lando’s hand and the Brit is stunned. His eyes widen as he stares at you in pure shock before his face darkens.

“IF I was shallow and had no self respect,” you snap back, “how dare you try to bribe me? You probably wouldn’t believe this but I actually do not give a single care about you or any other student on this campus. All you guys care about is your fame, your wealth, and the carefree lifestyles that you all get to have. Unlike you all, I actually have to work for my shit and I will continue doing that. I don’t have time to collect evidence of all these scandals and sell them to news outlets. Besides, I need connections so the last thing I want to do is ruin that chance by breaking the number one unofficial rule of FIA which is what happens within FIA walls stays within FIA walls. What do you take me for? A shallow tool?” Looking Lando up and down, you sneer slightly, “You know what you can do for me, Lando?”

“What?” The Brit snaps.

“You can take your cash and shove it up your fucking ass right along with the lacrosse stick that’s been wedge up there,” you give him a mocking smile, “have the day you deserve.” You turn, flipping Lando off as you continue down the hall before going into your dorm, slamming it behind you. Finally, tears spill past and you clamp a hand around your mouth to silence your cries. You stumble to your bed, vision blurry before crumbling against it, hiding your face into your comfort, sobbing as the weight of Lando’s words settles.

Nobody wants you here. Nobody trusts you nor likes you. To them, you’re nothing more than an outsider who was going to ruin all their reputations. Obviously, someone like you just could not be here to further your education and take this chance to connect and get a huge head start down your career path. That was all just some ruse to really make a quick buck off the rich and their bullshit drama. That you will never be accepted by them and you should quit while you’re ahead. Another sob rips out of your throat as you bury your face further, body shaking, trying so hard to will yourself to stop crying but it was so hard as a month worth of worry and pains had manifested as the cold hard truth and the reality was heartbreaking.

Then it dawned on you. It wasn’t bullshit. What was bullshit was the fact Lando thought you were so shallow. Actually, it was bullshit the entire campus thought you were that shallow. Are they so self absorbed that they really assumed you had applied just to expose what goes on behind the walls of FIA? God, you needed money but you weren’t that desperate for money. Unlike them, you actually gave a fuck about what you wanted to do in life. Especially because you were happily picking something that wouldn’t be destroyed so easily by mere rumors or a single photo to destroy your entire reputation. You didn’t care how much you got to gain to expose all of them, especially Lando after that lovely chat, because that’s what they expected of you. Instead, you were going to completely ignore them. Prove them wrong. Prove Lando wrong.

Settling, you sit there for a bit before slowly lifting your head. You ignore the oncoming headache or the fact your face is wet and puffy. You sniffle softly before patting yourself down and pull your phone out with slightly shaky hands. Arthur Leclerc was a rare friend you had. Well, you assume anyway but now you weren’t sure as you text him.

Do you hate me?-YN

Y/N, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t hate you. Nor does Mick, Ollie, Kimi, or Charlie.-AL

Well, Lando just tried to give me 100K in USD to get me to leave the school since everyone hates me and nobody trusts me and that I’m here to expose everyone for money and not for my education and to get a head start of my career.-YN

…He fucking did what?-AL

Yeah.-YN

Oh my god. I’m going to punch him at practice. Actually, I have piano so I won’t be at practice—I��ll have Charlie do it. No, he won’t—Kimi will-AL

No-YN

Don’t ‘no’ me! Y/N! You just told me that Lando bribed you because the rest of the school doesn’t trust you for some stupid fucking reason! Also, I know that you were actually warming up to Lando for this to be the reason? Oh god I should tell the couch! I’m going to tell coach—AL

No. No, I don’t need any more issues than already. I just…I just need reassure that you actually like for who I am-YN

Of course I do Y/N. Me, Charlie, Mick, Ollie. We adore you. You’re a breath of fresh air to us, really. You remind us that not everyone is stuck up and snooty and loves to be careless and wild because money and fame will save them. You remind us to slow down and enjoy the moments. You remind us to do things that we love even if nobody else cares because we enjoy the things we love. I promise, we wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.AL

Arthur…that’s so sweet I might cry again but I won’t.-YN

It’s okay to cry!! I can come over with ice cream and blankets for cuddles-AL

No no, it’s fine. I don’t think I have any tears left. I kind of let out a month’s worth of sadness just out, so, I’m good but I might take you up on the offer for ice cream and blankets after your piano practice-YN

Okay, yeah. God Y/N. I’m so sorry this happened to you.-AL

It’s fine. I’m kind of upset Lando did this privately because the look of shock on his face when I smacked the money out of his hand was priceless.-YN

You WHAT?! Oh my god! You didn’t tell me that!!!-AL

Yeah well, I’m done being sad. I’m angry now.-YN

Anyway, yeah he basically found me. Walked me to the dorms asking if I was avoiding him and stuff. I had said that I just wanna focus on my education and get a jump start at my career and he literally was like ‘bullshit’. I was like ummm what?? Yeah so he goes on about how im a threat and all this—me, the nobody but whatever—and he was giving me cash or offering to pay the tuition of the school I would transfer to in full if it meant leaving since I’m just a wee peasant who’s only here to gossip and get paid by the news and get the school shut down. So I was like, “oh no the cash is fine”…-YN

Oh my god. What did he say?-AL

Oh he was gonna go on that I was making the right choice before I smack the money out of his hand. Man he was pissed-YN

I could imagine.-AL

Arthur, when I tell you watching his face darken out of anger was—kinda scary. Though mama ain’t raised a bitch so. I went off about how I can’t believe he thinks I’m shallow and that I truly could care less about my classmates and that I need these connections so why would I risk losing those connections by outing everyone, ya know???-YN

Oh I know.-AL

Thank you! So then I was like “you know what you can do for me” and he was like “what?!” all snappy and shit. I told him he can pick his money up and shove it right up his ass along with his lacrosse stick and have the day he deserves and the I flipped him off as I left…then I broke down and cried and now we’re here-YN

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT!!! AS YOU SHOULD! Oh my god, I am buying you dinner for that because that is amazing. Also, Lando can go fuck himself and I will personally make sure it happens at practice.-AL

Arthur!-YN

It’s fine! I already laid out that Charles is just to make Lando go a bit insane. No physical harm, all mental.-AL

…Fine. Only because there’s no way I can convince either of you to not do anything-YN

You’re learning! Okay, I have to run but I will see you later tonight. You don’t have to, considering how news gets out around here but, Charlie would like to see you at some point just to make sure you’re okay so, just show a sign of life to him? Please? I’ll cover the ice-cream if you do-AL

I will, promise.-YN

Alright, see you see y/n!-AL

You too, Arthur.-YN

It’s only been 20 minutes since your conversation with Arthur and you really didn’t want to leave your dorm let alone the field after everything that happened. You had finally found the energy to climb into bed curled up under the comfort while staring at the wall before frowning. You know that if you didn’t Charles would go insane with worry and blow up both your phone and Arthur’s and you really didn’t want to upset the only rare few people in your corner. Sighing, you force yourself out of your bed and go through your closet.

The school had uniforms that students must wear to classes. Outside of classes, students were free to wear whatever they wanted and you chose a baggy hoodie with a t-shirt underneath and fuzzy pajama pants that had snoopy all over them. Sliding your crocs on, you grabbed your keys, phone, headphones, and lanyard with your ID before heading out of your dorm and to the field. Putting your headphones on, you gently bobbed your head to the beat of the music as you crossed the green towards the field. Seeing the empty bleachers, you make your way up the ramp as you look out at the field.

There were the two lacrosse nets at the opposite ends of the field. The boys were lingering around the benches as they all chatted among themselves with five minutes to spare in this break. You scan among them, thankful that none of them spotted you. Expect the one that was sitting on the bench away, staring at a small group down. You saw the ‘16’ on the jersey and knew exactly who it was. You straightened up slightly when the player turned and saw you before lighting up like a child on Christmas and scrambling over to you, almost tripping over his own two feet.

“Mon chérie, there you are. I was worried you weren’t going to show that I was about to start calling for a sign of life,” Charles grins as he stands below the bleachers laughing softly. You can’t help the small smile that appears on your face as you lean over the edge of the bleachers looking down at Charles.

“Sorry, I was just—gathering myself.”

“I could imagine,” Charles frowns. “I truly am sorry that happened to you,” Charles whispers. “Just say the words and I will tell the coach or I can punch him. Really, I am angry enough to go through with it.”

“No you don’t have to punch him or tell coach,” you reassure Charles, “I think me slapping the money out of his hand, telling him off, telling him to shove the money up his ass, and flipping him off while telling him to have the day he deserves is probably enough.” You smile, “besides, I have no plans on transferring at all. Especially not after this. Him having to see my face should be enough of a hell for him.”

Charles laughs breathlessly while smiling up at you, “You truly are something else Y/N.” He grins while shaking his head, “Arthur mentioned something about ice-cream and blankets?” He questions.

You go to answer but feel someone just staring at you. Casting your gaze up you lock eyes with the sea green eyes staring at you. It seems that you and Lando are in a stare off that neither of you intend to lose but you only forfeit when you hear Charles scoff below you. “Charles,” you murmur softly and Charles looks up at you, a slight pout on his face, “please be nice so you can join Arthur and I and probably the others for ice-cream and cuddles. That’s what we mean by blankets.”

Charles gasps softly, “and I can join?!”

“If,” you start, “you leave Lando alone.”

Charles narrows his eyes at you and weighs his options, “okay, deal.”

“Leclerc!” Lando shouts, voice clipped, “lets go! No more talking!”

“Duty calls,” Charles murmurs and you shake your head, murmuring to Charles that it’ll be fine. You sit in the stands and switch between watching the practice and looking at your phone. You stand up when the coach blows the whistle to have the team come in to wrap practice up. You make your way off the bleachers and linger at the entrance of track as the team all heads to the bench to gather their things. You watch Charles swiftly grab his water bottle and bag before making his way over to you.

“You did it!” You applaud happily, “you survived practice and didn’t kill him.”

“I know, I know. Took a lot of self control,” Charles murmurs as he steps closer, “I’m pretty sure he was targeting me after seeing me talk to you. The audacity of him, can you believe that?”

“I could, sadly,” you roll your eyes, “he’s an ass. Just ignore him. Why don’t you get change and I’ll wait here and we can then head back to my dorm together?” You offer, “Arthur said he’d bring the ice-cream and Mick would bring the blankets.”

“Okay, I’ll be right out!” Charles says and is off.

You watch him leave and smile slightly before looking away and nearly jumping at Lando who just spawns in front of you. You look up at the Brit and all the emotions from early claw at your throat for an escape. You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to curse him out. You want to ask him why. There are so many questions in your head and you know that no matter what, you won’t get any answers so you settle for this stare off with Lando, even if your neck gets a cramp.

The silence is finally broken by Lando, “What were you talking to Charles about?” His voice is cold and icy. It almost seems uncharacteristic of the Brit but then again, he was full of surprises!

“None of your business.”

“I think it is my business since he’s a teammate of mine and I am also co-captain, so,” he lets his voice trail off as if indicating his importance, “kind of my responsibility to make sure our players are accounted for and safe.”

“Oh? Is it because he’s with me? Cause if you were really concerned, I doubt you nor Max would really be okay with the heavy partying that happens. Then again you two would be hypocritical.” You retort.

That strikes a nerve. He clenches his jaw and stares down at you in anger though he stays silent because he can’t really argue with you. Instead, Lando takes a deep breath while glaring, “well, is coming back to your dorm?”

“Why do you care?”

'“Cause I really don’t need you being so fucking loud and distracting me.”

“Seriously? You’re rarely in your room. When you are, you’re doing anything but homework. The only thing I might give a damn about is your streams for the poor people that watch you.” Crossing your arms over your chest, “but if you need to know since apparently hell has frozen over with you doing homework, I am having a few guests over and Charles is one.”

“Who else?”

“You don’t get names,” you snap. “First off, it’s not your business. Second, you don’t care because I’m just a nobody who’s here to gather intel and sell the secrets and make so money and get the school shut down instead of learning more and making connections and wanting a better future for myself since I’m not privileged like that,” you mock before scowling at him, “you think I’m dumb? No way am I giving out the names of the few genuine friends I have here.”

Lando goes to argue before Charles cuts in, loud and clear, “Oh mon chérie!” Charles stops next to you and glares at Lando who glares back at you, “Oh. Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes. You are.”

“No, you’re fine.”

You and Lando stare at each other before you turn to Charles who slings an arm over your shoulder, “Ready to go then?” Charles asks you, smiling and you nod. “I am.”

“Well. Have a good evening, Lando,” Charles tells him as you just turn and start walking off, leading Charles with you.

Your gut twists and you can’t help yourself even with Charles talking your ear off since you stopped so Charles could tie his shoe. You’re about to look back at Lando until Charles tells some stupid story which gets you to laugh loudly and you nudge Charles when he stands saying that it was a good story.

You hear a thud or something which gets you to turn.

Lando is standing there holding with his head of the lacrosse stick now snapped off. He’s got Max and Oscar on either side of him both concerned and worried while trying to talk to him but Lando is staring at Charles as if he’s trying to strike Charles down mentally before finally looking at you before. He stares at you for a moment before looking at Charles and scowling before turning sharply and heading to the locker room with Max and Oscar trying to figure out what the hell just happened before following Lando.

You stand there watching the trio head off. Your eyes fall on the broken lacrosse stick head. You can’t wrap your head around why Lando was so determined to figure out who was hanging out with you. Was it to turn the little friends against you? Was he just upset that you weren’t bending to his will and made a fool of him earlier today? Why was he like this

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” Charles asks softly.

“Yeah, yeah,” you shake your head and smile, “I’m okay. Just…distracted, that’s all. Come on! I’ll race you,” you start and take off, giving yourself a head start as Charles is cursing and scrambling after you.

Even if Lando wanted you to leave and threw the world’s biggest tantrum as it seemed, you were quite comfortable staying here since you added a new life goal to your plans. It was a very simple life goal.

Make Lando’s regret trying to bribe you.

[a-shade-of-blue]

I’ve been messaging with Mohammed (@ahmed0khalil)  and he told me they feel as if this world has abandoned them. Every night his 6-year-old brother Ahmed asks him “Will we become numbers? Will we be just a number that appears on the TV screen in the evening?” Mohammed has no answer to that question. He has seen people being blown into pieces, he has witnessed no fewer than 6 massacres during his displacement. He wants to help, but knows he would be killed if he does. How does anyone fight against bombs that drop without warning? Mohammed lives in fear that he will fail to save his family. He had thought of killing himself, but he knows that his family, his younger siblings, need him. So he keeps on fighting daily, standing in line for 10 hours just to get bread for his family, begging for our attention on Tumblr to try to raise funds for his family’s evacuation. Mohammed is only 19 years old. 

He tells me that the Internet is often bad and they are often cut off from the world. Sometimes when massacres occur and people are bleeding out around them, they cannot even call the ambulance because there is no connection. He describes to me how he would sometimes see ambulances moving under heavy shelling, his helplessness in not knowing if it will come towards them, if the bombs will hit the ambulance. He tells me a lot of his friends who worked in the emergency department had been murdered under attacks against medical personnel. He fears that he will be killed, he fears for the lives of his family.

Mohammed is only 19 but he has lived through more than 8 wars. When he was 9, his house was bombed when they were inside it. He was a small child then and he was so scared and he could not breathe. They managed to escape, but soon after the whole area where their house was located was blown up. 

Mohammed is only 19, how much more must he bear? How much more must his 6-year-old brother Ahmed bear? Another question: what were you doing when you were 19? Were you at school, preparing for uni, hanging out with friends, getting your first job? At 19 Mohammed is trying to survive a genocide, he is witnessing massacre after massacre, dead bodies after dead bodies, trying to raise funds so his family can survive, trying to convince his younger siblings that they will live to see another day. He is telling me piece after piece of his suffering under an unstable connection, and here I’m writing and thinking how can I get your attention, how can I convince you that he and his siblings and his family deserve to live? 

Mohammed’s campaign has been shared by 90-ghost and I’ve also been talking extensively with him. He has 5 siblings, including a brother who is blind, another who is severely autistic, and young 6-year-old Ahmed. How much more must they suffer? How many more massacres must they live through? 

Low Funds! Only €1,685 raised of €50,000 goal!!

Donations have been coming in slowly for Mohammed's campaign. Your donation will help a family of 8 people reach safety. Please don't turn a blind eye to these children calling out for your help! Please share and reblog, and please, please donate if you can!

[felixbit]

i hate to wait so long

pairing: seungmin x gn!reader w. 1.9k genre: fluff summary: your long-distance boyfriend's birthday is coming up but you don't have the funds to visit him this year. surprisingly, seungmin turns up to your door anyways. warnings: reader is a uni student studying abroad a/n: inspired by the lyrics of this song :)

Choosing to study abroad was a good idea in concept. You got to travel and live in another country's culture for a semester as you worked on your degree.

That was, until you got a boyfriend. He lived back at home and you reconnected over old friends when you were first packing to leave. He'd come over to your place and hang out, playing video games and teasing you when you couldn't lift a moving box without help. Not that he could, either.

His name was Seungmin. He asked you out one week before you left for the semester, and it was the best week you'd had in a long time. You spent almost every day together, hanging out and trying new things until you got tired and crashed at each other's places.

When that first week came to a close, you begrudgingly packed up your things. Seungmin drove you to the airport, holding your hand as far into the airport as he could come with you.

It was through a teary-eyed confession from him that revealed he'd never felt closer to someone before than he did with you. He was too scared of saying goodbye and asked to be your boyfriend, even if he was terrified of moving too fast.

When you agreed, he was using his sleeve to rub his eyes and denied ever crying. He told you to have a safe trip and he kissed you for the first time, promising a million more the next time he saw you.

You thought about that moment every day. Sitting at a desk doing work had never felt more dull, especially when you had a perfect boyfriend waiting for you at home. Life abroad wasn't bad, you were loving it, you just missed him more.

Every night, you stayed up to call him and tell him all about your day-to-day. He'd hop on his computer and play video games with you until the sun peeked over the horizon or you resigned to sleep.

When you weren't calling each other, you texted the whole rest of your waking hours. Seungmin would send a plethora of random photos from his day and complain about his band mates while you responded with your own pictures and advice.

It was starting to occur to you how close it was getting to September, which meant Seungmin's birthday was just around the corner. You had already decided on gifts, ready to buy them so they'll be delivered right on time.

But, it dawned on you pretty fast that you didn't have the money to visit. Studying in another country was really expensive and there was only so much time in a day you could work outside of school. Either way, there was no miracle budget to make it possible.

You told him this almost immediately, and he was extremely good about it. He reassured you that it wasn't necessary and he'd make up for all the lost time soon enough when you were done.

The remaining weeks between then had been full of assignments and deadlines coming up, so it snuck up on you. You'd been on a call with Seungmin the night before playing Overwatch when you looked down at the date on your computer.

"What time is it? Lemme- oh, shit." You stopped mid sentence, staring at the date on your computer screen in awe.

Seungmin looked confused, his webcam up on your second screen. "What's wrong? Do I need to back out of the queue?"

"No, no," You shook your head, laughing nervously, "I just saw the date. Your birthday's tomorrow."

"Don't tell me you forgot," Seungmin looked a little dumbfounded.

"I didn't forget, I just.. I've had a lot going on these past few weeks that September kinda went a little too fast."

"It's okay," Seungmin reassured, "I'll forgive you when I get to open the pile of gifts you've been sending me tomorrow morning."

"I wish I could be there to see it," You lamented.

"It's alright. You'll be able to give me them all in person next year, right?"

"Right! Plus, I'll be able to give you Christmas gifts at least."

At that moment, you connected to a game and the topic of conversation switched. The thought of missing his birthday lingered in the back of your mind, but you pushed it away in order to enjoy the night with your boyfriend.

As the night was coming to a close, you made sure to wish him a happy birthday right as the clock rolled over to midnight. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary to stay up another three hours, but Seungmin decided to go to bed early and you followed in his footsteps.

Sleeping was nice. It was one of the times you could see Seungmin. He was almost always there waiting for you with a smile on his face. You could do anything together, just in a fantasy land. Maybe he wasn't really there, but it was enough to keep you going.

That night, you laid with him in bed. Your head was on his chest over a soft sweater as he sung to you. It was the first time in a while you'd dreamed of his room, bringing back all of the fond memories from before you'd left. His posters, guitar sat against his record collection, all his bookshelves. His diary was even on the nightstand beside his bed, true to life.

You almost hated waking up. The world was cruel for taking away the perfect dream it had crafted, but you knew soon enough you'd be in his room again.

Seungmin's birthday fell on a Sunday this year, so you didn't worry too much about waking up early. When you did inevitably get up, you made sure to text him a few more 'happy birthday' messages just in case he forgot about it himself. He was already up, thanking you for the birthday wishes and sending you a photo of his outfit.

It wasn't really his style to be awake and ready this early in the day, but it was his birthday. He has to make the most of his special day, you thought. So, you sent back some compliments and hearts and moved on with your own morning routine.

As you normally would, you kept Seungmin updated through texts on your morning. He wasn't super chatty, but it was to be expected with whatever he had planned. You expected to see a wall of text on what he was up to by the end of the day, but for now it was quiet.

By noon, you had gotten a little concerned, but brushed it off. His family likely had things to do with him, right? Plus, he had to get in some good meals.

It was almost one in the afternoon when you finally heard back from him. Seeing his name on your phone screen gave you an instant feeling of relief.

seungmin: come outside

You heard a knock at your door. The text had you confused, but you followed along. He couldn't be here, right?

Opening the door, there he stood. He was grinning ear-to-ear, shifting around on his feet. "Surprise."

It was on instinct that you threw your arms around him and hugged him with all the weight in your body. His wrapped around you and squeezed you back until you were wincing from the pressure.

"What are you doing here?!" You looked at him dumbfounded, your head spinning.

He looked back at you sheepishly, "I dunno, just thought it'd be cool if I showed up for a birthday surprise?"

"Yeah, but it's your birthday, Seungmin. That's the kind of thing I should be doing on your special day!"

"Well, I knew you didn't have enough to come visit this year, and I made it work! I really didn't want to wait so long to see you again."

You laced your fingers with his and pulled him inside, and that's when the explanation started.

Seungmin had first come up with the idea to come visit on his birthday almost a month prior when he first learned you couldn't come see him. He'd booked a flight out and made sure there wasn't any huge exams around the day.

That morning, he'd gotten up at six just to get ready and look good in time to catch his flight. He'd sent you photos he'd taken earlier when he was sitting in the airport, hoping it didn't look too suspicious.

The absence in texts was his flight over. It wasn't super long, but it was enough that he worried you'd catch onto his plan. From there, he'd gathered his stuff as quickly as he could and grabbed a ride over to your place.

After his story, you made sure to get him some food and snacks, which you happily enjoyed together as he turned on a show. He got a small tour of your student accommodation after the first episode before revealing that he had some plans set up.

Seungmin had made lunch reservations at a place not too far off campus and wanted to take you on a walk there. Of course, you said yes.

The entire way there, Seungmin refused to let go of your hand. He'd swing it along with your steps, chattering on about what was happening and the music he was making. But, no matter what, his fingers were locked with yours.

That was the fun part: Seungmin wasn't usually a big talker. He'd have lots of input to give when you would talk to him, but he wasn't super into initiating his own discussions. Today was different.

So as you walked down the cracked pavement of the sidewalks, your attention was grabbed by your chatty boyfriend. You got to engage with a lot of what he was saying, but it was nice to just walk and listen to him ramble.

Everything seemed more lively. The birds had their own chorus, the grass looked greener, and there were less loud cars blaring their music. By the time you were coming up on the lunch spot, you found your heart contented with the day already, even if you'd only been with Seungmin less than two hours.

"Minnie?" You squeezed his hand softly as you waited at a sidewalk.

Seungmin turned towards you with a smile on his face. "Yeah?"

"Thank you for coming and seeing me," You felt your face flush a little at the thought, "I really don't know how I could've waited any longer without you."

Your boyfriend's big grin couldn't be contained as he let out a quiet laugh. "I don't think I could've waited, either. You've been in my dreams too much lately, and it's been driving me crazy not having you here."

"You see me in your dreams, too?" You asked, recalling the one from the previous night, "It's kind of infuriating, isn't it? It feels so perfect and then it's taken away so quick."

"Yeah, I just couldn't wait another day without having you here with me," Seungmin stopped as you crossed to the other side of the street before pulling you into a hug, "I had to hold you like this for real."

"You're such a dork."

Seungmin snickered as he pulled away from the hug and gave you a quick, yet tender kiss. His lips were soft and tasted sweet, making you miss them the second they were gone. "For you. The rest of the world doesn't matter to me."

"Today really has you in a sentimental mood, huh?" You pulled him in for another kiss, making sure it lasted longer. "Happy birthday."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go get lunch before you make out with me on the street."

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 04. the world of the elite

THERE WERE ABOUT THREE THINGS GOING ON IN JAY PARK'S HEAD WHEN KIM SUNOO CAME TO PICK HIM UP.

The first was the chilling realization that he was actually going to a Yale party. He hadn't been to a party in over a year (save for Jungwon's birthday party where they had to call the fire department when Jake almost burned the kitchen down), so Jay wasn't expecting to end up at this scene again in his new, fake school. (Could he even call this fake if he was actually earning a degree while his tuition was paid for? He could hardly tell what was real and what was fabricated anymore.)

Secondly, was it really wise for him to get close to his target like this? He hadn't dealt with assignments where he had to follow people around, so this was all rather new to him. He realized, however, that he managed to befriend you, his mission could get a lot more complicated.

Third—he had no idea how to talk to rich people.

There were times when Jay had to entertain particularly wealthy guests when his parents brought coworkers home. But it was so excruciating even then because wow, how shallow could someone get? The depths of his conversations with all the rich people he had met were not promising at all, so he didn't have much hope for his social battery tonight.

But Jay was probably on par with some of them now, so he had to adjust to this new lifestyle. There was no way he could lie about his upbringing, though, so he framed a story of him having a rich aunt that was over-the-moon when he got into Yale.

Moreover, he was so confused as to why Shin Yuna approached him. It wasn't like he looked well-off with his clothes that he thrifted years ago. Jay couldn't tell if Yuna was just being nice, or if she had other intentions that he was supposed to be concerned about.

"Whoa, nice jacket," Sunoo complimented once he let his eyes sweep Jay's outfit. "You'll be lucky if Yuna lets you out of her sight."

His eyes grew wide. "Is she expecting me to be by her side the whole time?"

"Probably. You still have time to back out, if you want."

He was conflicted. This was the perfect opportunity for him to get close to the people around you and get some information out of whoever was the most drunk there; at the same time, if Yuna was going to keep her perfectly-manicured claws on his shoulders the whole time, this whole night would be counterproductive.

In the end, Jay decided to go. He figured that if worst came to worst, he would just find the right time to ask Yuna some questions about you.

"Is Heeseung's place close?" Jay asked. The truth was that he already looked up all possible routes to the location when Sunoo sent him the address earlier; he just needed to ask as a formality.

"Down the block here," Sunoo replied. "His dad bought him an entire penthouse. Isn't that sick?"

He fought down a bitter remark and said, "Man, that must be nice. What do his parents do? You said Sunghoon's dad owns Park Pharmaceuticals, right?"

"Yeah, and his older brother, Sungjin, is taking over the company. And Heeseung's dad is a hedge fund owner," Sunoo answered. "They only made it big recently, like four or five years ago. I remember Heeseung used to be way different back in freshman year. Now he's more... subdued. I guess he didn't know how to handle being rich back then."

Jay could see the flashing of blue and purple lights from the windows of the penthouse down the street. He carefully watched the two figures on the terrace talking by the railing. At first, it seemed as if they were just talking normally. As he got closer, though, Jay realized from the faint sounds he picked up that they were, in fact, arguing.

It was you.

Jay had been looking at pictures of you all week, but seeing you up on the terrace was different. It seemed to just sink in that what he was doing was real, and seeing you in the flesh was all he needed for cold reality to seep into his veins like poison.

The man next to you must have been Park Sunghoon. Even from how high up the two were, Jay could tell that the man next to you exuded an overwhelming presence.

But he wondered what they were arguing over.

"C'mon," Sunoo said grimly, clearly having taken notice of the commotion above, "it's just up these stairs."

Jay felt his stomach sink deeper and deeper with each step he took. When they reached Heeseung's door, there was a bouncer guarding the entrance—probably some freshman Heeseung paid to keep watch. Jay stopped in his tracks, wondering if he was even allowed in since he had never met Heeseung, but his friend simply opened the door and walked right in, as if his arrival was expected, and the bouncer paid no mind. (Perhaps it was expected? Jay was starting to believe all these people had history that he didn't even understand the extent of.)

"Jay!" came a shrill cry from across the room. Jay turned to see Shin Yuna all but tackle him, draping her arms across his shoulders. He could smell the alcohol on her breath already. "I'm glad you made it."

"Thanks for the invite," Jay replied, gently prying Yuna's hands off of him, which she allowed him to do but grabbed his hand again right after.

Jay sent Sunoo a help me sort of look, but his friend seemed to greatly misunderstand the message he was sending across. Sunoo gave him a sideways grin and a thumbs-up before signaling that he was going to catch up with some friends in the kitchen.

Great.

"Come on," Yuna slurred, dragging Jay over to a sectional couch in the corner. "I'll introduce you to my friends."

He recognized some of the faces while he was looking into you—Karina Yoo, whose mother owned a private jet company; Choi Yeonjun, who landed a few minor movie roles with the help of his Golden Globe award-winning mother; Giselle Uchinaga, whose father was an investment banker and mother owned a nightclub; Kim Chaewon, whose mother revolutionized stem cell research; and then there was Lee Heeseung in the corner, who had his arms folded across his chest as he sized Jay up.

From what he gathered, this was most (or all) of the people in your inner circle. Heeseung and Sunghoon appeared to be more than that to you, though; childhood friends had a bond more special than the rest, he supposed.

Jay then wondered how Heeseung felt about his two childhood friends dating and now arguing on the balcony.

"Guys," Yuna started with a grin, motioning to Jay with a dramatic flair of her hands, "this is Jay, the new transfer student."

"Hey." Jay waved to the group, his mouth suddenly feeling extremely dry.

His greeting was returned by a few tight smiles from the rest and a chorus of unenthusiastic words of acknowledgment that he didn't feel too great about. Maybe he had to give up on his chance of entering your circle.

"Don't mind them," Yuna whispered to him as she pulled him over to sit on the couch with her. They were seated exactly across from Heeseung, whose stare made Jay feel even more uncomfortable. "They're all in a bad mood 'cause Y/N and Sunghoon got in a fight before you came. God, why do they always kill the vibe?" She was talking awfully loud, causing Karina and Giselle to shoot her warning glares. Jay had a sinking feeling that she was making the situation worse if she kept opening her mouth. "Seriously, I mean, we're here to party!"

Not that Jay was particularly avoidant with physical touch, but being touched and fawned about in front of everyone was slightly unnerving, especially when he didn't know Yuna all that well. Nearly half her body weight was on top of him, and Jay was pretty sure she would end up sitting fully on his lap if she took another shot.

"Are you... drunk?" he asked her warily.

She gave him a strange look before giggling. "Uh, yeah? Did you want a drink, too?"

"No, just—"

"Hey, so you've really never seen me online before?" she asked, tilting her head in a way that Jay had to admit would've been rather cute if he wasn't so overwhelmed and put-off by everything else. "I'm, like, TikTok famous."

"Oh, that's nice," he replied, sort of distracted as he tried to catch a glimpse of you out on the terrace. He saw a flash of your glittering silver romper, but then your boyfriend stepped in front of you again.

"Transfer student," Heeseung called out. He had his elbows on his knees, but once Jay looked at him, he started to stand up. "Let's get you a drink since the rest of them are being miserable."

Jay assumed it was a joke, but only he (and probably Heeseung) seemed to think so. Karina let out a sound that sounded partly like a laugh and partly like a scoff.

"Way to make it awkward, Heeseung," she sneered.

"He's the one who probably feels so awkward with you all being so quiet," Heeseung said, patting Jay firmly on the shoulder to get him to stand up. Jay had to gently peel Yuna off of him before he got up to follow Heeseung. "We'll be back."

While Heeseung and him were making their way past groups of students packed together, Jay couldn't figure out what the hell to say to him. When he first walked in, the look in Heeseung's eyes made him think he was a piece of trash stuck to the bottom of his shoe, but now he was just lost.

"I haven't heard of you before," Heeseung said once they reached a long table with bottles of alcohol strewn about.

"I didn't expect you to. Today's my first day, anyway."

There was a bartender on the other side of the room, but Jay figured that Heeseung brought him here for a private conversation. Without even asking Jay about his preference, he let his hand glide over the handles before he picked out a bottle of tequila. Jay wasn't much of a drinker but he let Heeseung pour him a shot.

"What do your parents do?"

Jay couldn't stop himself from barking out a laugh, shaking his head fervently. "Oh, no, they're"—he shook his head again—"they're no one."

"They can't be 'no one' if they managed to get their son into Yale."

"They didn't get me into Yale."

"They still raised you, didn't they?" Heeseung raised a brow. "My mom's a preschool teacher, and my dad was unemployed up until my sophomore year of high school. Not the professions you expected, huh?"

Jay's brows raised in pleasant surprise. Here he thought that Heeseung was judging him, but maybe it was the exact opposite. He really didn't expect a sincere response from someone like him, but perhaps he just misjudged the junior.

"My mom's an office worker, and my dad used to be a firefighter before he got into an accident," Jay answered. "Now he has a corporate job."

"And you're..."

"I'm what?"

"What're you trying to be in the world?"

Jay took the plastic shot glass that Heeseung handed out to him. Before downing it in one go, he answered, "Someone."

Heeseung laughed. "At least you have more of a story than most of the people in this room." He shot one of the cluster of students a sideways glance and said, "Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people here bought their way into Yale."

Jay swallowed hard. He couldn't say anything when he was technically one of those people, too. All his life, he slogged harder than anyone else for a place in the world. He worked at restaurants illegally since he was thirteen, studied tirelessly to get free rides to universities, and gave up a social life just to balance multiple jobs to get bills paid. It felt strange to be one of the people who didn't have to lift a finger for extraordinary opportunities.

For a moment, he wondered if he would get in if he tried applying on his own. There was no use in pondering, though; this was all simply for the assignment—nothing more, nothing less.

"You made it here on your own, didn't you?" Jay asked with a flickering, newfound respect for Lee Heeseung.

"I didn't even think I'd be able to pay for college when I was in high school," he answered. "Of course I needed to work hard. Getting a full ride into an Ivy League isn't something you get by fucking around. Even though Hoon and Y/N were set their whole lives... I couldn't just be the only one who didn't make it in."

Jay wondered why Heeseung was telling him, a total stranger, all of this. He didn't bring it up, though, in case the question sobered him up to the point of not revealing any further information.

But he had to ask, "So why'd you drag me out here for a drink?"

It was a fair question. There were bottles of alcohol on the table next to the sectional couch. If Heeseung really wanted to just pour him a drink, he could've done so then and there.

"Thought I'd save you from Yuna," he said. "She gets a little messy when she's drunk."

"Oh." Jay almost shuddered at the thought of what could've happened if he was still sitting on the couch.

"Sorry. Are you interested in her?"

Jay's eyes grew as wide as saucers as he shook his head firmly. "N-not at all. I just met her today."

The alcohol started coursing through his blood, making his limbs feel less like muscle and more like jelly. Yet, he strangely felt more comfortable in his body.

"Good." Heeseung leaned against the table and crossed his arms again. "I would've felt bad for you if you were actually into her. She definitely thinks this'll make me jealous somehow." He suddenly stiffened up. "Don't mention this to the others, though. I don't think Y/N would be happy if she found out."

He arched a brow at Heeseung. So you didn't know about your own friend's feelings toward your childhood friend? Even though you were in a relationship yourself? Interesting.

But even more interesting because Jay swore he saw pictures of Heeseung and Chaewon together on his Instagram. Pictures that seemed to imply that they were a couple. Their little inner circle seemed to be more convoluted than Jay initially thought.

"Haven't even met her," he told Heeseung. "I'm not the kind of person to spread people's secrets like that."

Unless I'm paid to do so, he thought bitterly.

Heeseung smiled slyly, and Jay wasn't sure if it was one of friendship or as if he had just heard an enticing business proposal. "I hope my feeling about you is right." After grabbing the handle of Clase Azul on the table, he added, "Let's go back before they accuse me of scaring you off."

Jay followed after him, wondering if he had just accidentally gotten himself in Heeseung's good graces, or if he just made a grave mistake.

Jay decided to ask, "Hey, by the way, do you know about the Order of Kryptos?"

Heeseung stopped in his tracks immediately, spinning around so fast that Jay nearly stumbled over his feet.

"What about it?"

"Well, I just—I don't know—I was thinking of, uh, joining."

"You can't just join. You have to be invited." Despite the shame that burned under Jay's skin for sounding like an idiot in front of the junior, Heeseung's eyes twinkled. "But... I know someone you could talk to if you wanna get your foot in the door."

"You do?"

"This isn't like a frat where you have to rush. See, all these people here just target members of the current class and suck up to them until they get tapped. For example, Hoon's practically guaranteed a tap since his brother's in the Order right now."

"Then do you think I even have a chance?"

Heeseung shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. There's only fifteen seats, so it all depends on how much you impress them." He grabbed Jay by the shoulder and pointed out one of the seniors laughing with a couple other boys in the kitchen. "That's Jeong Jaehyun. He's probably the chillest in the Order—doesn't really give a fuck about prestige and background, or whatever. I'd talk to him when you get the chance."

Jay, wildly amazed with how big of a help Heeseung was being, returned the gesture by patting him on the back firmly. "Thanks, man."

"No worries. You should work fast, though. They start giving up their seats next semester."

Next semester. Jay was certain he could get on someone's good side by then.

This whole thing was rather frustrating for him, though. All Jay wanted to do was lay low and carry out his assignment properly, but to do so he needed to get close to you and your friends somehow. Impressing you meant impressing a senior to get into the Order. There seemed to be far too many hurdles he needed to cross just to uncover some dirt on you.

When he and Heeseung returned to the sectional couch, everyone seemed a smidge more lively. Yeonjun waved Jay over to introduce himself properly, claiming that he couldn't say anything earlier because Yuna was hogging all the attention. Yuna, on the other hand, seemed to have already blacked out on the couch, but none of her friends were exactly paying much attention to her. Jay wondered if this was a frequent occurence with her.

While Jay was in the middle of telling Yeonjun and Giselle about the school he transferred from, you came out from the terrace with Sunghoon, but there was an icy distance between you two.

Jay had spent the past week looking at pictures of you every single night. Almost every picture you had on your Instagram was burned into his brain.

But seeing you up close in the flesh was almost earth-shattering. All the details your camera couldn't capture were like the missing pieces that made you glow even brighter. Jay was almost amazed that Park Sunghoon could even fight with you when you looked like this.

"Y/N?" Karina called, but you were crossing the room in the direction of the bathroom. She threw a nasty glare at Sunghoon, who sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

Giselle raised a brow. "You're gonna let your girlfriend walk away?"

"She needs space," Sunghoon answered curtly.

"Oh, I bet she gets plenty of that from you."

"Watch your mouth, Giselle."

Jay wasn't sure if Heeseung was making the right decision when he stood up and offered, "Hoon, chill. I'll go check on her."

Chaewon was quick to grab her boyfriend's hand, frowning as she said, "I think one of the girls should."

Heeseung pulled his hand away, and Jay noticed the crumbling look in Chaewon's eyes before he pretended to be more interested in a loose thread in the couch. He felt bad for her; she was practically being humiliated in front of everyone else.

"I'm the host," Heeseung replied. "I should check on her."

Karina shot Yeonjun and Giselle a withering look. "Our Uber's almost here. I don't think she wants to go home with"—she motioned to Sunghoon with a jut of her chin—"you know."

"I'll ask Ryujin to take her home, but we should probably tell her before we leave," Yeonjun said. He lowered his voice to add, "Yuna's wasted. You know Heeseung's gonna get pissed if she crashes here."

Giselle snorted. "That's probably what she wants."

Jay looked down at his lap. So everyone was aware of Yuna's semi-hidden feelings toward Heeseung except you? Why was it a secret from you, anyway? This friend group—if Jay could even call them that—was messier than he had anticipated.

Jay, who was seated in the middle of the trio, started to feel rather awkward. Surely, they must have known he could hear everything they were saying.

"Uh," he started because he was starting to feel like he was obligated to chime in, "I can call an Uber for your friend, if she needs one."

"Aw, Jay, you're too sweet," Giselle cooed, but then her face of adoration turned completely serious. "But you're a man. We don't trust you."

"That... that's fair."

"Oh, but he's Sunoo's friend," Yeonjun added. "Sunoo would get her home safely."

"Just ask Sunoo or Ryujin—whoever's still here," Giselle said.

Karina, who was on her phone for a majority of the conversation, spoke up to confirm, "Yeah, their locations are still here. I'll text them to make sure Y/N's taken care of." She stood up. "Let's just get going and check up on her later in the group chat."

"God, how are we gonna drag Yuna out of here?" Giselle whined. She gently maneuvered the unconscious girl to make it easier for them to lift her up. "Yeonjun, you get her other arm."

After much effort, they were finally able to get Yuna barely stumbling forward as her arms were around their shoudlers. They said their goodbyes to Jay and Chaewon, but Sunghoon only got one from Yeonjun.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes and moved to sit next to Jay. Chaewon was completely sidelined at this point as she picked at her nails and waited for Heeseung to come back.

"Sorry for that mess," Sunghoon said. "I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Park Sunghoon."

"Jay," he greeted. "Nice to meet you. Heeseung told me a bit about you."

"Oh, really?" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I hope it wasn't too awkward."

Jay grinned. "All good things. Don't worry."

"Great, uh..." He fumbled for a moment, reaching into his pockets and then handing Jay a pink iPhone. "Do you think you could hand this to my girlfriend? She should be somewhere in the house."

Although Jay took the phone from him, he grimaced. He didn't even know you, and he felt bad already. Your own boyfriend was sending a stranger to give you something when he could very well do it by himself?

And why did he have your phone in the first place? Jay wondered if Sunghoon had taken it from you during the argument, and the very idea made him feel cold.

"I really think you should give it to her."

His small smile stretched into an awkward grin. "I don't think she wants to see my face right now."

"Oh... sure—will do."

This time when Jay crossed the room and pushed through the packs of students, it felt slightly more intimidating. He felt like a lone fish amongst schools of them, and the few shots he took had definitely worn off by now. Not to mention the recent turn of events were incredibly sobering.

Heeseung's penthouse was nice. Nothing he could ever dream of affording before his anonymous client sent him more money than he would've ever made in his life.

When Jay stepped into the narrow hallway that led to the bathroom, he could hear Heeseung's gentle voice echoing.

"—talk to me, please," he pleaded. "I don't know what Sunghoon said to you, but—"

"Heeseung, just leave me alone." Your own faltering voice was treading on desperation. "You don't have to be here to comfort me. You're not my boyfriend."

And then it grew quiet. Jay was afraid that he was about to walk in on an uncomfortable situation.

Seconds later, the door opened and Heeseung was stony-faced, walking past Jay without even noticing he was there. You didn't even close the door after he left, so Jay inched closer to make sure nothing bad happened to you.

There you were, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and crying into your hands. There was an odd, disconnected feeling in Jay's chest. He had seen so many pictures and posts of you looking like you were having the time of your life, but the sight before him caused all of that to come crashing down, catching on fire.

Back outside, looking up at the terrace, you were so high above him, as if he would never reach you. Now, you were shattering to pieces before him, leaving broken shards scattered around you that Jay was hesitant to tread on.

Once you took notice of his presence, your head lifted up slowly, and Jay really felt bad for you now. Streaks of mascara were under your eyes and your red lipstick was smudged.

"Can I help you?" you asked flatly, sniffling every now and then even as you tried to act like you hadn't been caught crying.

Jay simply held your phone out, and you grabbed it from him once you recognized it was yours.

"How'd you—"

"Your boyfriend told me to bring it to you," he answered, and your eyes welled up with tears again. Jay sighed as you started breaking down in front of him, but he really wasn't all that annoyed as he sounded. He grabbed a tissue from the box on top of the toilet and ran it under water for a brief second. "Here."

Jay leaned down in front of you and blotted the tissue gently under your eyes, wiping off the residue of your mascara that stained your skin. You tried to resist his gesture at first, but when you realized what he was doing, you relaxed. If his eyes weren't tricking him, maybe you were even slightly embarrassed?

Then, he moved to your lips, using the other side of the tissue to carefully dab at where your lipstick was smudged. Jay tried especially hard not to stare at the curve of your lips, wondering what dark secret you could possibly be hiding behind the corners of your mouth. After he was done, he tossed the tissue aside and stood up.

"Thanks," you murmured.

"No problem," he said, backing up to the doorway. "You should probably keep the door closed if you need some alone time, by the way."

But one look at your expression, and he could tell that you were hoping that someone else would come looking for you.

"Y-yeah," you stammered out, standing up to close it yourself.

"Also," he continued, pressing his lips together in a thin line. Just walk away, Jay. This is none of your business. Just turn around and keep walking. "Your friends are worried about you, so..."

There's people out there who wouldn't make you cry like this.

He couldn't get the rest of the words out. Who was he to speak on a relationship he had only seen for a brief moment, anyway?

Before Jay could turn on his heel, you called out, "Wait! What was your name again?"

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Jay Park. I just transferred here."

"Jay... oh, the transfer student." You said his name so gently that it was almost like you were handling glass. Then, he saw the first smile on your face tonight, and oh, he had never seen someone smile so bright. "I'm Y/N. See you around."

After you closed the door and Jay had headed back to where everyone else was, the loud, booming music grounding him back into reality, his heart sank with the realization that he had already been thrown into a world that he wasn't sure he liked very much.

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SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

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[eatmangoesnekkid]

I don’t live my life thinking a lot about money, trying to ‘get’ more money, or not having enough money yet I am not motivated by money either. The act of receiving more money does not make me rush to hurry up and finalize my books or open up my school. I can’t remember the last time I worried about money because having money is an intimate frequency and energy of FREEDOM. You have to break the frequencies of constantly penny-pinching, being stingy, allowing how much money you have in the bank to dictate your mood or living afraid to buy the very things that you need that will expand or evolve you, which is not the same thing as shopping all the time as a coping mechanism for being human, incurring consumer debt or being irresponsible and reckless with your money. And your life force will never thrive when you are a slave or prisoner to money.

The Practical and Spiritual Journey to Making More Money —You Must Enlist Your Warrior and Your Energy

You have to look at earning money like a game and enjoy growing your money and playing the game or else you never win. Not just saving or hoarding it away in your bra but allowing your money to work for you while you sleep like putting it in stocks. I have a degree in Accounting and have always believed that women were born to be skilled in financials but we are socialized to perceive ourselves not. But when you were born with a womb, you are naturally gifted at multiplying a seed into something much larger and intelligent like a whole baby. You are a natural amplifier, nourishing and growing what has been received. Be willing to look into investments and not be afraid of accumulating “healthy debt” and learn to move your money around in order to grow it. Look to investing part of your earnings into different funds, even if it is just cutting back on buying coffee and putting that money you would have paid for a daily coffee into a savings that will accrue and be used to invest in the future. If you already have cash flow, getting rental property to airbnb or sell (everyone I know that is quietly wealth-oriented owns at least 2-3 homes) which can be overwhelming to think about when living pay check-to-pay check but just beginning to think about how you can earn more money from your own money passively gets the ball rolling in your consciousness like what would it be like to open up a laundry mat, build it up and sell it in a few years for huge profit? Laundry mat ownership is such a fast lucrative business, just like what you see in the hood in movies. Or buy a raggedy house, build it up and sell it for a higher cost and incredible profit. Some of you straight and bi women entrepreneurs who are ready for good lovers must find love and attraction with lovers who are builders and handymen and can help to upscale and modernize your home that you can then resale for great profit and stop messing with dusties who have zero skill sets and create more stress on your life. 🙏🏿 Because when you live a highly stressful, parasympathetic, flight or fight life, the first thing you lose is your sexual desire or libido i.e. your umlimited creative power. No thank you!

If you have a spiritual business like me, you can do deals underneath the table but also work towards a LLC to legitimize your company which gives you tax breaks and allows you to earn more money. Something about going through the channels to make something official moves it from just being a hobby to a legit business. As magical spiritual woman, your power move is to attract someone willing to invest in your work as a start-up. If you do, you must cherish this person, love this person with all your heart, hips and soul (if the relationship is romantic but of course it can also be platonic or familial, either way, love this person), adore them deep and true. The person, this angelic being, this God, is saving you massive stress and headache. Their presence in your life serves a larger purpose —you must help them to understand this because our world teaches us to be so fearful and suspicious of being helped or helping someone rather than gracious and honored. Too many people are missing out on great blessings of interdependence because they live afraid and suspicious of the big heart of another human. So sad that many amazing beautiful people are stuck in their little corners hoarding away and missing out on healing, thriving, and experiencing the gifts and/or talents of another human because of how we have been wired to perceive the desire to meet one another’s needs and desires by status quo culture. To be a woman who can love someone in ways that relax their body so deeply that they can finally get out of their head and rest well and regenerate their tissues at night is incredibly priceless.

**This is not the same thing as looking for a handout, walking around broken like the world owes you something or hoping someone will help because you tell a victimization story. It is about being mature and resourceful and consciously manifesting what is needed and not simply what would be cool or cute potentially through love and loving.

But not every woman is ready or qualified for the aforementioned experience because you do have to develop skills that will be greatly useful, nourishing, nurturing, decompressing, relaxing or expansive or beneficial in other ways to another person. You can’t just be attractive or whatever. You have to be a woman who has developed a certain ease and peace in her body and life first and and that is what joining my school and online temple will help you master. And I personally believe you must also really love someone if the harmony is right because 1. love is incredible and healthy for the body to experience for however long it lasts 2. love is essential for the brightest sustained outcome. I’m not talking about the “sprinkle, sprinkle“ foolishness being promoted online. I am advocating for more love between people and all that comes with truly loving someone.

Be so skillful in your mature womanhood that you don't run from challenges, but face and engage them head on, and refine, recalibrate, and evolve beyond them. Never lose the boundaries that you are running a business albeit a spiritual one but still a business. Stay devoted and disciplined, both are essential. Work towards hiring people who can help you scale and grow eventually.

The Spiritual Journey to Making More Money—You Must Invoke Your Lover

The key to having more money is to learn to surrender and trust and truly allow the universe to be your provider, which is not an intellectual idea but a frequency of feminine energy. This is less about gender and more about the willingness to live a little bit beyond the egoic surface layer of reality of urgency that tells you to hurry and produce, to hoard or take or trigger you to constantly need to check off a to-do list, always needing to plan or to cross your t’s and dot your i’s which will allow you to buy that nice house and cute car eventually, but could greatly inhibit your energy from flowing where you never really can feel the joy of a simple moment pulse up your spine because you live in stress and overwork for external things that never make you fully truly happy.

No matter what stage of life you are, the undercurrent of your reality must feel like more relaxation and freedom if you want to have more money but not exhaust yourself in rigorous pursuit and constant labor for it.

I had to learn to draw in the frequency of freedom—to laugh at myself, to play, to rest, to relax, to do silly shit like twirling throughout my day —when life was very stressful, drama was high, and money was low. Neighbors would see me twirling. I would sometimes twirl for customers whose shopping totals were over 200 dollars. Because changing frequencies or weaving new realities is most potent when life is hard. You have to discover strategic ways to do the things you really want to do in life but was told you couldn’t afford. You must also have this hunger and desire to play the game of life to win while laughing at yourself along the way as you refine more and more and develop intimacy with the currencies of relaxation, love and freedom, which naturally include having more money.

But do not just copy and paste and take from others. Give. —India Ame’ye

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.

Kahlil Gibran, Mirrors of the Soul

Chapter: The Money Drop (unedited)

[suzukiblu]

NaNoWriMo fic, day one: obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

Tim Drake had absolutely no intentions of ever becoming anyone's sugar daddy when he met Superboy.

This would have worked out better for him if Superboy had ever had an actual legal identity or an actual legal guardian or just . . . literally anything whatsoever in life. Ever. At all.

Just a bank account, even.

"You're working for Cadmus," Tim says slowly. "Cadmus, as in the lab that stole Superman's body and cloned him without his consent. Cadmus, which you had to break out of so they couldn't put mind control code words in your head."

"Yeah," Superboy replies like that's not literally insane. Tim stares at him.

"Why?" he asks incredulously.

"Food and shelter?" Superboy shrugs. "And I mean, I dunno, where else am I gonna go?"

Tim is not okay with this situation.

"What did Superman say?" he says.

"Just to like, keep an eye on things," Superboy says with another shrug. "Make sure they're not up to anything shifty."

Tim stares at him.

"Superman," he says. "Told you to just . . . 'keep an eye on' the dubiously ethical cloning lab. The specific dubiously ethical cloning lab that tried to put mind control code words in your head. Specifically."

"Yeah," Superboy confirms.

Alright, Tim is actually even less okay with this situation than he thought, apparently. Like, impressively less.

"Okay," he says. It is absolutely no kind of okay in any way whatsoever, of course, but he doesn't want to put Superboy on the defensive. That'd make effectively interrogating him a lot harder, for one thing. Cooperative subjects are best in these situations. "What are they paying you?"

"I mean, like, they gave me my own room and they're feeding me and whatever, so I don't really need much money," Superboy says. "There's a discretionary fund I can use if I need to go on an undercover mission or anything like that? But I'm not really the undercover type anyway."

"Sure," Tim says. So . . . no way for Superboy to save up to move out and get an out-of-lab life, then. Great. That's not fucked-up or crazy or horrible at all. "Do you like it there?"

"It's okay," Superboy says, shrugging again. "Better than literally everybody in Hawaii yelling at me every time they see my face, yeah?"

Tim wants to set the world on fire, but he's trying really hard not to go supervillain before he's thirty and he'd hate to throw out all that hard work.

"They just let me do whatever, mostly," Superboy adds. "They don't really care as long as I'm around when they need me."

He'll go supervillain as soon as Bruce dies, Tim promises himself. Just–he'll give his share of the eulogy at the funeral and then he'll blow up three-fourths of Arkham and the entire GCPD while Commissioner Gordon is on his lunch break. He can time that out, that'll be easy. And then he'll go and personally murder the Joker with the very specific combination of a rusty crowbar and a shrapnel bomb, and then he'll just . . . well, he'll just go with the flow from there, he figures. Do whatever feels natural.

Seriously, the world as it is does not deserve to exist. It really just does not.

Tim figures he can probably convince the rest of Young Justice to tag along for the whole supervillain thing and hopefully Dick and Steph and Barbara too, and ideally also Alfred, in the unfortunately likely event that he outlives Bruce. He's got time to lay the groundwork with them all and all, and also everything really is awful and horrible and really does deserve to burn.

"Are they sending you to school or anything? Or tutoring you?" Tim asks with what little scraps of hope he has left. Higher education would be . . . well, something, at least. And actually it probably wouldn't hurt for Superboy to learn a bit more about genetic engineering from the same place he got genetically engineered, just in case anything goes wrong with his DNA again. Cadmus should at least be good for that much, right?

"Ew, no, thank fuck," Superboy says, making a face. "Like I said, they mostly let me do whatever until something needs punched."

So . . . no furthered education or learning any usable job skills or making real money or literally anything that could, again, lead to Superboy ever getting any kind of an actual out-of-lab life established.

Great.

Just great.

"I see," Tim says.

"It's a pretty sweet gig, considering," Superboy says, and grins brightly at him. It's a very nice grin. Normally being faced with that particular grin would make Tim need to beat down the highly unprofessional urge to kiss it.

Right now, though, he's a little bit more concerned with the fact that his teammate is just . . . living in and working for a fucking lab. As a matter of course. Just as a thing.

And Superman of all people thinks that's . . . fine, for some reason? Like, normal and ethical and okay? Somehow? In some way?

What the actual fuck, Tim thinks to himself.

"You said Superman told you to keep an eye on things?" he asks.

"Yeah," Superboy says, his grin widening. "He took me to his fortress and asked me to do it there. Showed me around a bit, too."

"That sounds really interesting," Tim says, wondering in vague disbelief if that means Superman had never taken Superboy to the Fortress of Solitude before. He must've, right? And just . . . inexplicably not shown Superboy around then.

Yeah. Sure.

"It was awesome!" Superboy says with more enthusiasm than Tim's seen from him since they met Nina Dowd's . . . endowments, seemingly forgetting the need to be "cool" for long enough to lean forward in his seat and outright beam at him. Tim is gonna need a minute to recover from the sight of that expression, probably. "It's seriously freaking freezing up there, but there's so much cool shit in the place. Like, from all over the universe, but from Krypton, even! The only thing I'd ever seen from Krypton before was kryptonite!"

Tim considers moving up his supervillain timeline after all. Like. Just possibly. Just a little.

Maybe he can convince Bruce to take an early retirement off-planet and just go from there.

What the hell is wrong with Superman?

"Oh, wow, really?" Tim says, simultaneously pretending he didn't already know what Superman has in his fortress and trying not to be screamingly obvious about the internal calculations he's running on figuring out how to weaponize red sunlight. Or like, maybe he could look into learning some magic. That's technically an option. Probably more time-consuming and harder to hide the process of, though. Still, it's on the table.

"Yeah. He showed me some of it. Told me some stories and stuff, even," Superboy says, and that excited grin turns just a little bit shy and soft and somehow even more distracting than usual. He ducks his head just a little, and then that soft grin is more like a soft smile, and Tim suffers. "And I, uh–and he gave me something, too."

"What did he give you?" Tim asks, praying to God that the answer is "an emergency contact number" or "an allowance that can cover a semi-decent Metropolis apartment" or "an offer to live literally anywhere but Cadmus, including in the thirtieth century or on a hostile alien planet or inside an active volcano". He's technically an atheist, so the praying thing is probably moot, but times of desperation are times of desperation.

"A name," Superboy says, and his smile widens helplessly. "Like, you know, a real one."

Tim might hate Superman, he thinks. That might actually be a thing now.

Yeah, he's definitely going supervillain after Bruce dies and doesn't need an emotional support sidekick anymore. Better start stocking up on the kryptonite.

"That's great," he says with a very carefully not-forced smile of his own instead of anything more along the lines of "wait, you've been alive and active as a superhero for all this time and no one ever actually named you?!" Superboy would probably take it the wrong way, not in the least because that genuinely never actually occurred to him as being a thing before. Like–he really did just assume Superboy was keeping a lid on whatever his real name was for personal reasons or Superman reasons or something. "Are you allowed to tell me it, or is that a no-go?"

"Oh, yeah," Superboy says with a sheepish laugh, rubbing at his arm. "It's like, a Kryptonian name? Not like a secret identity one. It's, uh, Kon-El."

Of course it's not even a damn secret identity, Tim thinks in absolute frustration and abject loathing. Of course not! Why would it be?! Fuck forbid!

"I like it," he says, because he lies to Batman and therefore there is no fucking way that he's going to let Superboy–Kon–see any sign whatsoever of the metaphorical 9.9 on the Richter scale that is currently happening in his psyche. "It suits you."

"You think?" Kon grins all the wider. Tim can't even calm down enough to want to kiss him, except in the sense that he always wants to kiss him.

"I do," he says, and smiles at him again.

Kon smiles back.

Tim hates everything. All the things. There is nothing that Tim doesn't hate right now, except maybe Alfred's snickerdoodles because he might be having a nervous breakdown but he's not, like, criminally insane or whatever.

Yet.

"Yeah, it's kinda cool," Kon says, straightening up in his seat and then leaning back, clearing his throat and slipping his sunglasses back on like they're not in a literal cave right now. Tim doesn't call him on it, because he has a supervillain timeline to work out and that's much more important.

Also because the teammate he has an inadvisable crush on is in a much, much shittier situation than he ever realized and he has to reconcile that with his worldview and also his opinion of Superman. Tim doesn't especially idolize the man except in the sense of knowing he's one of the greatest heroes on Earth and a very, very good man that Bruce thinks incredibly highly of, one of the best men on the League and maybe even on the planet, but . . .

But if he's such a good man, then why the hell is Kon living in a lab that tried to mind-control him and why has he only just seen the Fortress of Solitude for the first time?

Why didn't he have a real name?

"So do we call you Kon or Kon-El now?" Tim asks, which is a bit of a senseless question but also at least a bit of a distraction. He wants to say this whole situation is a horrible idea, who the FUCK convinced you this situation was a good idea?!, but there is no possible way that Kon would respond well to that. Ever.

Also, Kon had a point. Where else is he gonna go?

Clearly not the Fortress of Solitude.

Seriously, would it be that hard for Superman to give him a room there? At least a place to stay sometimes, so he wasn't exclusively relying on the mind-control cloning lab for food and shelter and basic comforts?

"I think just Kon?" Kon says, frowning consideringly. "'El' is like Superman's last name, I guess? So I think just Kon."

"Makes sense," Tim says, internally seething. Superman gave him the "El" name but not a secret identity? A name from a dead civilization with a bit of sentimental value, maybe, but nothing usable on this planet? Fuck, you'd think Kon didn't already know his secre–

. . . Kon doesn't know Superman's secret identity, does he.

Tim had thought he was lying, when he'd said that stuff about Superman not having one, before. Thought it was supposed to be a cover or a misdirection or something. But Kon actually thinks that, doesn't he. And Superman has just . . . kept letting him think that.

Becoming a supervillain actually might be an underreaction, in retrospect.

"Just Kon sounds less formal anyway," Tim says instead of so just in theory, do you think tactile telekinesis could trigger a heart attack or stroke in a full-blooded Kryptonian, if you could REALLY concentrate on doing it? like not FATALLY, just dehabilitatingly?, because he still has some groundwork to do before they get that far into potential supervillainy. There's steps to the plan. The steps need to be followed. They're very important steps. "You don't want Bart full-naming you every time he's looking for the remote."

"Like he'd even bother, it's faster for him to turn the living room upside-down than actually ask anyway," Kon says with a laugh, dropping his head back on his neck. Tim has some thoughts about climbing into his lap and figuring out if the TTK makes him hickey-proof, and then buries them. Not appropriate. Not professional. Just not.

. . . technically, if Kon wanted a hickey, he could just let his TTK down and ask for–

Tim buries his thoughts deeper.

Much, much deeper.

"Point," he says. "So what time does Cadmus expect you back?"

"Dude, it's a job, not a boarding school," Kon says, giving him an amused look. "I don't have a curfew."

Tim, technically, hasn't followed his own curfew any way but accidentally once in his entire life, but for god's sake, is Cadmus even pretending to be raising a teenager or are they really just being that flagrant about ignoring all the child labor laws they so clearly do not give a fuck about? Like, there must be something illegal about this. There has to be.

If there's not, Tim will be adding "burn down Project Cadmus" to his list of supervillain plans to set up in advance. In red pen. Underlined.

Twice.

God, why is the world like this. Why are people like this?

"I guess that'd be convenient," Tim says, internally ranking various methods of combustion. "Though I guess it depends on the cafeteria hours, too."

"It's whatever, I can always eat later," Kon replies with a shrug. "I think I've still got a couple protein bars in my room anyway."

"Just protein bars?" Tim asks, mentally upping the amount of explosives he was considering going with. Cadmus is going to be a crater by the time he's done with it. "Don't you need more calories than that?"

". . . well, sort of," Kon says, folding his arms and looking very briefly embarrassed. "Superman doesn't have to eat, apparently, but, uh, guess I'm not Kryptonian enough for that. Actually I kinda need to eat more than normal humans, it's weird. Like. A lot more."

"I'm ordering pizza," Tim says, upping his mental explosives count again. "What do you want on it?"

"We're the only ones here," Kon says, looking puzzled.

"More pizza for us, then," Tim says.

[mozzaicynth]

one thought everyday and its just the amazing world of gumball especially these three freaks (doodles + some headcanons below :3)

mr small -

my interpretation of small becoming more mellowed out in the future seasons as opposed to season 1 is him managing his anger in a more healthier way (meditation, etc) (plus i think all those herbal infusions are incredibly effective on the nerves) . that being said i think he still has underlying anger issues and lashes out if prompted too much . another reason hes nicer and more of a pushover in the later seasons is because i like to think hes guilty of his plethora of outbursts earlier on, especially towards students (unwarranted shouting which as a school counsellor he should know is pretty harmful on younger kids) . the fact that he tries to offer his help when its absolutely not needed so many times later on in the show further makes me like to think he’s making up for it all

hes also so autistic to me hes on the spectrum you cant tell me otherwise and i think hes pretty awkward and considered strange by the whole town (which is saying a lot for elmore standards) . still super friendly and approachable but he also cant take hints and he definitely stims (and has special interests, alternative medicine are you kidding)

his music taste i love to think is all over the place … i get the general consensus is he listens to mystic chants and sitar music but he definitely listens to more, ranging from pop to indie to rock to metal (this may or may not have become an idea when i was listening to ‘darts by soad and associated it with him,) . also what with his stupid little self funded album that is such a jarring listen ‘cause of all the ridiculous genre changes

i think he crochets/macrames as a hobby along with other diy stuff (most of the decorative items in his home crafted by him) making him, surprisingly considering how incompetent he is sometimes, super crafty/handy .

larry -

larry is a great person: incredibly intelligent, he’s very knowledgable on a plethora of subjects and he has a big heart, holding little to no virtriol against the people of elmore (except the wattersons but that is SO warranted) . thus i like to imagine he did great in school, moved on to do so wonderfully in uni whilst juggling jobs and his studies but after graduation was left stuck (alike so many people nowadays) . neither small or larry came from well off families but i think for larry he didn’t have much of a support system anyway so currently he overworks and works and works just to catch up on the student debt whilst simultaneously paying his taxes (i still think about that episode all the time fuck the police . big pink son of a bitch), loans and not to mention the bare minimum to keep himself alive

he’s a very sweet and kind person but anyone under the immense stress that he’s under would be irritable and temperate (he deserves to be more angry imo) and i whilst he has so many jobs he always aims to excel at all of them, having an incredibly particular way that tasks must be done and having them organised . because of this, he can be a lot more temperate when interacting with coworkers, especially those who don’t do their job as well, having to take matters into his own hands . as he and karen (his girlfriend throughout the series) share some jobs it puts a strain on their relationship (which was built off of the mutual ‘having several jobs’) and they break up .

even so, though larry consistently tries to propose to her in the show, in “the laziest” he doesn’t seem to be happy nor comfortable at all with the prospects of marrying her . in fact, even when he’s achieved the ‘american dream’ (properties like a house and car and a family (his girlfriend soon to be wife)) he’s unhappy . personally i don’t think he knows what he wants to do with himself ; he works all day and night and has little to no time for himself to even think in peace that the only purpose he knows is work .

i like to think he used to be an artist; self taught, it was a hobby and an enjoyment but his studies and his work took over so his one form of self expression was squeezed out of his life .. (i like making their lives as bleak as possible soz ! 🙏) he still admires the arts and i think that’s another reason he likes steve so much; his handcrafts and mini projects .

steve and larry are two opposites that are similar in ways .. but i love their dynamic so much . my interpretation of them is that steve will help larry balance out his life slightly better to leave room for himself instead of working 24/7 . steve has his head in the clouds and larry grounds him, and larry is so stuck in his ways with work that steve pulls him out of it slightly, lifting him up a little higher (AUGHHHGHH I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

as for their relationship with rob, im very much a stevelmeyer adoption truther !! both larry and steve coming from dysfunctional families, they aim to help rob and take care of him to the best of their abilities . further, larry taking on taking care of rob gives him direction in his life again . 😁😁😁😁😁😁

this isnt gonna be the last post headcanon/idea wise i still think of them 24/7 but heres jus SOME things .. (im such a yapper sprry not sorry !) :3c

[starshideurfics]

Buzzed, Buzzing - part 2

part 1

Buzzed, Buzzing

JQ, you can’t go dropping TWO horny photoshoots on us in less than a week!

steddie, omegaverse, Buzzed part 2, mdni 🔞

Finally being with Eddie is a dream. At least for the week he’s in town, fully foregoing Steve’s guest room and its comfy mattress.

Instead, it’s a week of Eddie wrapped around Steve each night, skin touching skin, bodies sated in a bone-deep way Steve’s never felt before.

A week of waking up to Eddie’s lips on his neck, to whispers of, “Morning, Puppy,” and sleepy yawns, arms tugging him closer and closer.

A week of Robin saying, “I’m happy for you, truly, but could you try going five minutes without swapping spit?!” only for Eddie to look her dead in the eye and lick whatever part of Steve is closest to his mouth.

A week of Steve floating on a cloud of affection and hormones.

Then Eddie has to leave, head to Chicago and buckle down for long days filming.

Steve mopes their whole last morning, sneaking shirts out of Eddie’s suitcase until the alpha relents and dumps out his dirty laundry. “Put ‘em all in your nest, I can get new shirts.”

Steve purrs, gathers the shirts, and herds Eddie back to his room for a last quickie before Eddie’s Uber arrives.

Being apart sucks. They videochat daily, text constantly, but Steve still misses Eddie every second he’s gone. So, he’s back where he started, mooning over pics on his phone, scenting at Eddie’s boxers as he works three fingers into his aching pussy.

He’s holding out, but Steve is counting down the days until shooting wraps, when Eddie would fly straight to Indy.

Steve’s on his lunch break, typing out a response to Eddie’s latest text as he shove pretzel thins and hummus in his mouth, when his phone starts buzzing.

Robin is calling, from the other end of the building. “Hey, Robbie, need me to get you a coke zero?” he asks instead of saying hello.

“Don’t tell me you got rid of your Munson-stalking web alert, because that’s the only reason I can think of for why you aren’t freaking out!”

He did, not really needing it when he has Eddie checking in with him at least hourly. “What? Robin, I’m texting with Eddie right now, what do you think I missed?”

“Just, look him up; your ADHD gremlin boyfriend probably forgot to mention it!”

Steve opens google, starts typing Eddie’s name and only gets as far as “ED” before autofill finishes it for him.

A new photoshoot and accompanying interview. Steve gets caught by a photo of Eddie eating a peach. It’s such a thirst trap, but it makes Steve smile.

Besides, there are other notes, but Steve’s scent has always been peach-forward. It might be a coincidence. Steve doesn’t think it is.

He reads the interview; about his current project, lots on the movie coming out next month that filmed a year ago, and his costars including a chill cat.

But right under the peach picture is a question about his personal life, how he stays grounded and connected when he’s constantly moving around for work. 

Eddie starts, as he always does, with Wayne, his friends, his charity work, the arts scholarship he funds.

“The truth is that it’s all for my partner. Like, I want to put good into the world, help kids like me who didn’t have the best start in life, but my focus is on being good enough for him, being the kind of person he can be proud of.” 

The journalist asks him to elaborate.

She writes about Eddie’s smile, the small one where he averts his gaze, emotions too big to share. “I dunno, just that he’s got me beat by a mile—he’s a teacher, middle school, you know, the worst time in a kid’s life. And he loves it!”

More words on Eddie’s laugh and kind eyes.

“So, yeah, the people I love, the people who love me, that’s how I keep my head on straight. That’s what it’s all about, right? Family, friends. Pack.”

Steve’s vision goes blurry on the last little paragraph. He wipes the tears from his eyes and pulls out his phone.

Just read the article! I’ve always been proud of you ❤️

Three little dots appear immediately to show Eddie’s typing, but they disappear and instead Steve’s phone buzzes with a call.

“I forgot that was coming out today! I should have warned you!”

Steve grins. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not, but thank you. And it wasn’t too much? I’m trying to keep my private life private, but if I can’t talk to you, I wanna talk about you. All the time. Because I fucking miss you, Puppy.”

“It’s okay,” Steve reiterates. “I miss you, too. So much. Wish you were here.”

The whine he lets out makes Eddie chuckle, low and dark. “Wish I had you here, could show you how much I miss you. At least you’ve got some new visual aides, but maybe tonight, when I call you could show me… Get your fingers wet for me.”

Steve lets out another breathy whine. “Yeah, want that.” He presses his legs together, tries to tamp down the feelings of desire before he gets too wet at work. “Miss your fingers, though.”

“Good,” Eddie husks. Steve can hear him lick his lips, so he knows Eddie’s nervous. “And it was supposed to be a surprise. But I’ve got the weekend off. My flight gets in at 9 on Friday night.”

Now expanded into a full fic! Read here

[starfilmz]

i can’t write rn bc writer’s block, but i can’t help but imagine trust fund baby!reader who’s friends with sam when he was in stanford.

i don’t know if trust fund baby is the right label to use but just imagine very rich reader unintentionally (and intentionally) spoiling sam to no end especially when they’re hanging out.

sam would’ve probably preferred hanging out in parks, arcades, diners, etc just simple places where he doesn’t have to spend much money, and you’re not one to complain, but you would pay for almost half (80% if sam wasn’t paying attention) of everything yall buy.

he was used to eating just so he wouldn’t starve to death so he’d only spend money on one meal and a soda, but ever since befriending you, every meal ends with desserts— sometimes shared or not, but since sam can’t stop your sweet tooth and he continuously refuses to let you spend money on him, he’ll let you by one for yourself and you’d always share with him!

arcades are ya’lls favorite spot for sureee. whenever yall are too into a game, sam would fail to notice when you’d spend money on tokens. it would be his turn to play and he won’t realize you’re gone until he finished a round, then he’d just see you carrying a whole bag of tokens.

“if we don’t run out of coins then i’ll have more chances to win,” you proudly say. sam rolls his eyes and grabs a handful from your bag. “or just more times you’ll lose!”

for crane games, when you’d want a stuffed toy so badly, you’ll say:

“what if i just buy the teddy bear?” sam laughs at your words, but he’ll soon learn you weren’t kidding when you somehow managed to convince one of the attendants to let you buy with actual money.

sam walks beside you, staring down on the bear plushie in your arms. “how much did you pay the guy?” you only give him a grin as a response.

drinks are always on your tab unless offered otherwise. sam will always offer, after every night out with you, to buy the both of you greasy food to avoid hangovers though. friday night, usually past midnight, would be the time you’d see yourself eating whatever burger sam ordered for you, sitting on a curb in front of the diner with him.

a few weeks before his law school interview, you offered (forced) sam to let you buy him a suit. when sam first showed you the the suit he planned to wear (which were the ones he’d always use when he pretend to be fbi but you don’t know that) and despite his explanation that a quick wash in the laundry and some ironing it’ll look better, you simply refused and brought him to your usual spot to buy fancy clothes.

“since he’s a bit tall, you’ll need to do a lot of adjustments with the suits.” the saleswoman explained. sam immediately had a worried expression at the thought of you spending even more money, but before he could argue, you would’ve already handed your card to the lady.

“do what you need to do, just make sure we’ll get them back in a week,” you said. you turned to see sam and you could only gave him a reassuring smile at his face. “this is the least i can do for you, sam. don’t fight it.”

in group works, your “friends” would suggest doing the work at your house since you supposedly had the biggest. you don’t keep your upbringing a secret to anyone, but sam can see how uncomfortable you’d be when other people would boast your wealth on your behalf.

“i think doing it in the library is fine,” sam would intervene in the conversation you were already zoning out on. “it’s easier to plan meetings, too.”

“but y/n’s house—“

“—has other people living there. we don’t know if y/n’s parents would agree to every schedule we have so let’s just do the work in the library, or anywhere in the campus.” sam’s hand would be on the small on your back after, as if reassuring you and bringing you back into the conversation when everyone was expecting your response.

you could only nod, eyes on him. “yeah, sam’s right. sorry.” but you still gave him a small smile which was enough for him to know you’re thankful for what he did.

[bitter-me]

Hey ! I have seen you write for Twisted Wonderland ?👀

Can I ask for Ignihyde or Diasomnia students with a boy [friend or not, you choose] who is like Sherlock (from BBC if you have watch) ? I just know he will try to understand how overblot work and why there is a lot of overblot-

Ignore it if you don't want to write it ! And have a good day ! Or night ? Idk when you will see it (if you see it)-

The Game is On!

Ignihyde Students | M. Reader as Sherlock Holmes [BBC]

----------

"I’m not a psychopath, Anderson. I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research!"

----------

The day [Name] Holmes has entered Night Raven College was the day Azul had become even richer.

Ever wonder if your crush likes you back? Or maybe you wanted to know yourself better? Or perhaps you wanted to know if your partner's cheating on you? Well look no further than the Mostro Lounge!

Being stranded in a different universe, [Name] merely sees it as an opportunity to gain more information and funding. This whole new world is so much more interesting than his previously awfully predictable world.

Which then led to Ignihyde's Housewarden's first encounter with the high-functioning sociopath. At first Idia found it skeptical that someone could have the ability to see right through everything and anything. Until [Name] had read him like an open book in their first meeting.

To say that Idia was traumatized by the sudden exposure is an understatement. But after calming down, he can't help but think on how similarly [Name] acts with one of the characters in the anime he watched. Cough Moriarty the Patriot cough. But nonetheless, the two of them soon bonded and became close with one another.

Before long, [Name] was introduced to Ortho and his interest was immediately peeked by Idia's "younger brother."

Although school life is as boring as his world's. It's just the same thing but with magic and stuff... but all of a sudden these things called "Overblot" showed up? Oh he got to know what this is about right away!

----------

Idia Shroud

"Um.."

"Shh."

He instantly shut up the moment he was hushed by the other. Just when he decided to leave his room and visit the Ramshackle for a change. Idia was greeted by a sight he never thought he would ever see in his life! [Name] pacing around his room with two hands together placed underneath his chin and the elephant in the room.. His room was filled with papers and stings attracted on the walls!

Idia thought that his room is messy but this is just on another level!

Newspapers, printed out articles, [Name] own illedgiment handwriting, etc. Every single wall is covered in it with some strings connecting some parts.

This thing. This "Overblot."

Why did it happen? Is it because of intense emotions? Negative or positive? Does it really matter? And why do they show up in a blob, ink-like thing? The stain on the gems of their pens? Is this common? Or are they something one has to go through once in their lives? Like puberty? So many questions. So little time.

Idia could only sit and watch as [Name] drove himself insane. He knew that S.T.Y.X. is also trying to figure this whole Overblot out too. But seeing how unhinged [Name]'s acting while also trying to figure out the same thing his family is doing is just concerning. It drove Idia to the edge just how... [Name]'s acting..

There's a thin line between inquiry and insanity. And [Name] is using that line like a freaking jump rope!

----------

Ortho Shroud

[Platonic]

The day the high-functioning sociopath saw Ortho. His interest is peeked. A robot? That acts like a human? Even back in his world this would've taken years maybe even centuries to accomplish with how incompetent the human kind is! Therefore, [Name] would ask Ortho multiple questions within the span of a minute. I live for Sherlock's rapid fire deductions and questioning.

And how [Name] loved it when Ortho answered each and every question without him needing to repeat himself nor explain it. Ortho's happy to help whenever he can! He was so happy that his brother made a friend!

Whenever he saw [Name] pacing around like a mad man. Ortho tries to help by either reducing [Name]'s burden and helping him to make deductions and hypotheses or by simply bringing snacks and reminding him to rest.

While Idia looks at [Name] with a nervous and unsure expression. Ortho steps in by suggesting that maybe he should rest. "[Name] maybe you should take a nap! If you do, your productivity will go up by 10℅ or maybe even more! And since you're energized, you could be more focused and—"

"I'll rest once I've figured this out."

Oh boy. This is going to be a long day for the three of them huh..

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

bully⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

saturday, reclamation— game day

⋆˙⟡ zbully1 smut series masterlist! hanbin, jiwoong, hao, matthew, and taerae included.

⋆˙⟡ read all possible endings here!

⋆˙⟡ wc: 7k (idk ur welcome)

⋆˙⟡ reader: femme afab (listed first, she/her are used) // gender neutral (alternate version listed second, no pronouns used at all to describe reader— scroll down)

⋆˙⟡ series summary: five bullies. six days. it's gonna be a hell of a week, babe. stay hydrated.

⋆˙⟡ saturday summary: nearly every student is gathered for your university's big soccer match against your rival school. you're hoping to steer clear of the boys you've had such strange (and steamy) encounters with this week. i think you can guess by now that fate is not on your side. or is it?

⋆˙⟡ warnings: explicit smut. 18+. minors do not interact. please read specific smut warnings under the cut! swearing. angst. bullying. when you're done, proceed to the endings :)

EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: okay here we go. clitoral stimulation, g-spot stimulation, lots of penetrative p-in-v sex, oral (male receiving), mild cum play, mostly dom/soft dom boys but also subby!matthew for fun, this is a CONSENSUAL gang bang. and all raw penetration whoops.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　

“enjoy the game! fighting!”

the words leave your mouth for the five hundredth time this evening as you hand out yet another set of programs. you give each attendee your most authentic smile as you greet them at the north entrance. 

“we’re at almost four hundred at the south entrance,” mina’s voice rings through the walkie-talkie on the table in front of you. it’s no surprise how well-attended tonight’s game is— everyone was invested in the long-held rivalry between your university and the opposing school. it had been a few years since your university’s soccer team had won this match-up. you wondered if they would tonight...

perhaps hanbin being made team captain this year would be the missing link to victory.

“hi! enjoy the game— fighting!” you exclaim once more. speaking of hanbin, he’d been right about one thing. tea with honey had repaired your voice perfectly. you’d even remembered to brew chamomile tea instead of black, so that good night’s sleep you’d been desperately needing was finally gifted to you.

you called mina that morning. you didn’t tell her what had happened per se, but you told her about each of the boys pursuing you... and you conveniently left jiwoong out of the equation for her own sake.

“i need to figure out how to get all of them in the same room,” you said, sending the finalized program for the big game to the campus activities director to print. you’d actually managed to finish it early this morning after emailing it to your sunbaenims to promptly approve. “but i don’t know how i’d manage to do that.”

“the campus activities interviews!” mina shouts excitedly. “sunbaenim was looking for a volunteer to do it for him tonight. if i make sure he recruits the right players, you’ll have them all to yourself in the activities lounge.”

all to yourself? 

just how lucky could you be?

~

“and number 13 approaches the goal, weaving through the opposition,” the announcer calls as hanbin dribbles the ball across the field. two defensive players from the rival team close in on him. “and he seems to be caught in a defensive trap. number 25 comes up behind him on his right and number 12 is ahead of him on his left— will 13 be able to pass the ball successfully?”

you’re on the edge of your seat as hao waves at hanbin to signal he’s open. jiwoong’s making the same signal, but a bit more aggressively. personal issues with several members of the soccer team aside, you’re rooting for their win. it would mean a lot of positive attention and increased funding for your whole university to have the soccer team finally progress to the championship again.

you glance at the rest of the field. matthew’s in defense, the number 28 on his jersey shining in the flood lights as he blocks two rival offensive players all by himself. and, on the bench in his perfectly clean uniform sits taerae— number 14 kicking the grass with his cleats, not really paying attention to the riveting game going on in front of him.

“and 13 successfully passes to 25! 25 dodges a defensive player on his right, making a beeline for the goal,” the announcer continues, everyone in the stands beginning to stand up as the anticipation grows unbearable. 

the scoreboard reads: 1-1.

hao is shooting distance from the goal, but he can’t seem to shake a couple defense players on his heels. there’s no way he’ll be able to make the goal like this. he looks at jiwoong, who is also preoccupied with defensive players of his own. it seems like all hope is lost until...

“number 13 sprints out ahead— a clear path between him and 25! 25 passes quickly to 13...”

hanbin’s cleat touches the ball, steadying himself for less than a second before he squares up and takes the shot.

the ball flies through the air. though it’s certainly going at least 70 miles per hour, it feels like you’re watching it in slow motion. mina grabs your hand, anxiety overflowing from every direction.

swish.

the ball flies over the goalie’s hands and into the netting behind him. the crowd erupts into cheers as the timeclock buzzer signals the end of the game.

hanbin stands in shock as the rest of his teammates rush toward him, engulfing him in their celebration. he’s lifted onto someone’s shoulders, grinning from ear to ear in pure joy and relief in a way you haven’t seen since you first met him. it’s a nice sight, if you’re being honest.

“i’m ready when you are,” mina says, squeezing your hand. “just fill me in after on how the revenge goes.”

“will do,” you say, making your way down the stairs of the stands. “just remember it’s what you asked for!”

the phrase sends a chill down your spine as you remember taerae’s thumb pressed to your tongue. you shake your head to snap out of it. there’s no time for hesitation.

you watch patiently as the celebration continues on the field. coach yang’s practically crying with pride. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him display an emotion other than boredom and annoyance before. camera now slung around your neck, you watch as the many attendees file out of the bleachers and out the exits. 

the players shake hands cordially with the other team, one of the rival defense players starting to give matthew a hard time— undoubtedly for being pig-headed and brash during the game. you’re sure he deserves a little roughing up, but you need him in good condition.

after the excitement finally dies down, the campus activities president makes his way over to you with a smirking mina at his side. “ready to get some good portraits of the players?”

you nod happily. more than ready.

“thanks for volunteering to do this for me. i’ve gotta be at the senior leadership conference way too early tomorrow morning,” your sunbaenim says as he and mina head out onto the field. “you can head to the activities lounge now and set up. mina will escort them right over!”

mina grins at you over her shoulder before you exit the soccer field and head towards kang hall. the warm night air calms you as you walk through the doors and make your way down the empty hallway, stopping when you finally reach the activities lounge. several desks, a few office chairs and a small sofa litter the room.

this could work.

you grab the stack of interview consent forms out of the filing cabinet to your right before setting up the photo wall and camera at the back of the room. if, by chance, a few extra players are sent in, you’ll just have to get them out of the way first.

buzz buzz.

you check your phone to see a message from mina.

i’m sorry, coach yang made me take jiwoong, too. BLEGH. something about him being the left forward and “crucial to the game” or whatever. like, whatever helps him sleep at night, i guess. anyway, they’ll be there in a minute.

a minute. you can do this.

“two red flags!? it wasn’t even my fault. that guy was being a total dick,” you hear a muffled voice through the door. “so what i grabbed him by the collar? he should have a stronger windpipe if he can’t handle a little bit of good-natured choking!”

“it was the waterboy,” hao replies with a sigh. “you choked our waterboy.”

the door cracks open.

“he was in my way,” matthew says with a huff.

“he was trying to give you water,” taerae says quietly. 

“you guys never fucking support me,” matthew grumbles, the door flying open as he takes a step inside the lounge. his lips part at the sight of you as the other boys push him through.

soon you’re met with five pairs of wide eyes, all staring back at you from where you sit on top of a desk in the middle of the room— clipboard resting on your knees.

you smile at them, clicking your pen eerily. “welcome! and congratulations on your fantastic win. please line up across from me.”

after a few moments of uneasy silence, hanbin is the first to make his way to the middle of the room. he stands a few feet away from you, the rest of the boys walking over and creating a neat, horizontal line.

“you didn’t hear the stuff about the waterboy, did you?” matthew asks, pressing his lips together awkwardly.

“i absolutely did,” you answer shortly. “i also watched it happen. and the purposeful cleat to the nuts of that other player.”

“that other player being me,” hanbin says with a frown.

“oooh, tough luck,” you console, shaking your head. “they still work though, right?”

hanbin’s brow raises in surprise. to be able to catch him off-guard is literally thrilling.

“so, i assume you all know why we’re gathered here today,” you say, clicking your pen again.

“i’m guessing it’s not for a post-game interview,” jiwoong says, looking around the room.

you bite your cheek in a smile. “unfortunately, we do still have to do those. but first, i thought we’d start with an interview about a different game we all played this week.”

taerae’s brow raises immediately, turning to look at hanbin. “i thought you said she didn’t know about that!”

your face falls. “know about what?”

“she doesn’t. it was a play on words. she uses them in her poetry all the time and it was cute the first five times, but it’s actually becoming a bit redundant now if i do say so myself,” hanbin says, glaring at taerae. “but now you’ve gone and opened your gigantic mou—.”

“it was a game,” hao interjects flatly. “this week was all just a game to see who could fuck you first.”

leave it to hao to always cut the bullshit. and always cut deep.

you knew there had to be a reason why these boys that had bullied you for years suddenly all wanted a taste of you. this explanation did make the most sense.

“well, it wasn’t just a game,” jiwoong replies with a shrug. “it was a really good game.”

“yeah, i’d play again,” matthew says with a grin. “especially considering nobody won.”

you scoff.  “you literally lectured me for ten minutes about how you have no interest in fucking me, because i’m so tainted now.”

“yeah, i mean, definitely not how i prefer ‘em, but...” matthew smirks at taerae. “what was it you said yesterday? ‘a hole’s a hole’?”

taerae gulps as your eyes narrow at him in fury. “how—... how does he know you said that!?”

“hyung screen-recorded it,” matthew answers with an oblivious smile. “highest bidder got the file.”

“oh, so the game has mini-games now, too!?” you shout, staring daggers into hanbin. “do you have any moral decency left?”

“of course,” he answers, frowning as if he’s offended by the accusation. “if i didn’t, i would’ve just posted it. but i played it fair and took the 1,400 won.”

“YOU SOLD MY SEX TAPE FOR A DOLLAR!?”

“a dollar and five cents,” hanbin corrects with a smile.

“i forgot to bring my wallet to practice,” jiwoong says with a sorry shrug. “otherwise i would’ve bid at least two.”

“and i didn’t want it,” hao follows, absentmindedly examining his fingers. “i’m not depraved like the rest of them.”

you laugh incredulously. “oh, that’s rich, coming from the guy who put 86,000 won tree sap up my—”

“but seriously, man, that was cold,” matthew interrupts, patting taerae on the back in praise. “didn’t know you were cool like that.”

“oh, well i—,” taerae starts, almost sounding like he’s about to deny it. but instead he just shrugs, meekly replying, “me neither.”

“that’s ‘cause he’s not,” you seethe. “how about you tell all of your cool, new friends how you sucked your thumb until sophomore year of—.”

“why don’t you pick a winner?” hanbin asks, smiling at you gently. “isn’t that even better than what we’d planned? you got to experience it all.”

your lips purse in contemplation. “like... pick who got the farthest?”

he shakes his head. “pick who you want to fuck you the most.”

“i see,” you hum after a moment. you scan the line of boys in their soccer uniforms and university apparel. each looks a different version of eager as they await your answer. but unfortunately, they’d all already fallen straight into your trap the moment they’d stepped in the activities lounge. 

you lean forward, pretending to size them all up.

“i’m sorry, but i don’t think i can do that,” you respond finally, hopping off of the desk. “you’ve all been nothing but awful to me this whole year. why would i ever pick one of you? do you think i fucking hate myself?”

the boys begin to give each other cautious glances. 

“don’t answer that,” you snap, setting your clipboard and pen down on the desk to your left.

matthew scratches the back of his neck, clarifying, “so… you’re not gonna pick?”

“no, i’m not gonna pick,” you assert, walking towards the door as your plan propels into motion. there’s a few disappointed sighs from the boys who’d made a game out of your body. it was demeaning. it was sadistic. 

it was… hot.

“why would i pick one of you,” you say as you lock the door, turning back around to face the gaggle of idiots hanging on your every word. “... when i can have all of you?”

“oh shit,” hao whispers, breaking the stunned silence filling the room. all of the other boys stare at you, jaws dropped.

“(y/n),” taerae pleadss quietly, eyes worried and sincere. “what are you saying? you don’t want that!”

“you don’t get to tell me what i want anymore,” you reply succinctly. you’re drinking it in, the feeling of being needed by five men at once. it fills you with a sense of power: the thing these same men tried to take away from you. it’s intoxicating. “and stop pretending like you still know me. you don’t. but...”

taerae’s left eyebrow raises ever-so-slightly as your thought hangs still-incomplete in the air.

“you could know me again,” you suggest softly, running the tip of your tongue across the back of your teeth. “and you could know me really well this time.”

your former best friend exhales, shaking his head weakly.

“you’re really gonna pass that up?” jiwoong asks, stepping forward indignantly as if he thinks taerae’s insane. “been waiting to get my hands back on you all week.”

“it sounds good to you then?” you reply, holding back a smile as jiwoong starts rolling up his jacket sleeves— a definitive nod in your direction. “is jiwoongie really the only taker?”

“fuck no,” matthew responds suddenly, any restraint he was previously demonstrating wiped away completely. “that’s what you want? i’m all in. let’s start now.”

hao hits his arm, hissing, “get it together.”

“why?” matt asks, folding his arms across his chest as he turns to face hao. “i wanna get my dick wet. so do you. so does everyone here. isn’t this the best solution?”

“yeah, isn’t it?” you ask, walking up to hao slowly. enough talking. it’s time for action. you close in on him, nearly chest-to-chest as you hold him with your gaze. you fight a smug grin as your hand gently tugs at the waistband of his joggers, “please... concertmaster?”

you’re thrown onto the desk behind you in seconds, hao’s long fingers wrapping around your jaw as his tongue slips down your throat. situating himself between your legs, your cores grow closer and closer together. he raises your arms, pulling your shirt over your head and dropping it on the floor in a careless ball.

“holy fucking—... this is really happening,” matthew mumbles as he takes a step closer, standing a few feet from your side so he can get a better view. though his brazenness isn’t so great for his teammates, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on in this context. you don’t want to give into him just yet, though. you have plans for him.

you glance over at jiwoong, worried for the state of his bottom lip as he chews it anxiously. you pull back from hao, wrapping your hand around his forearm to keep him close to you and batting your eyelashes invitingly at the older boy.

he points to himself, brow raising happily when you nod in affirmation. he walks over to you, obviously trying to stay as suave and nonchalant as he possibly can. 

“you want hyung instead?” hao asks possessively, an undeniable pout on his lips at the thought of being discarded for someone better.

you squeeze his arm reassuringly, whispering in his ear, “he wants me.”

“so do i,” he replies, running his hand up your thigh. the unexpected display of jealousy from hao sends you reeling; another wave of arousal rushing to your heat as jiwoong closes the gap between you. “need something, hyung?”

“i was just watching you swap saliva, when i remembered how we didn’t kiss on monday,” jiwoong answers, eyes locked with yours. “i just think you might like the privilege of kissing me.”

“oh, you think that, do you?” you reply with a smirk. “well, if you’re that certain... i’m willing to hear you out.”

jiwoong smiles, placing a hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours sweetly. he pulls back, perhaps trying to gauge your reaction. 

“well that was a let down,” matthew mumbles from beside you, rolling his eyes. you notice that taerae’s also come closer, standing a bit farther back than him but watching intently. and concernedly.

jiwoong laughs, kissing you again— this time, leaving you breathless with how passionately and skillfully his lips move against yours. it might be the best kiss you’ve ever had. you moan softly against him as hao’s hand now grazes over your clothed core.

your hand moves from hao’s arm to his fingers, holding him there against you. he huffs a laugh as jiwoong pulls back, smirking at hao.

“it’s all about teamwork,” jiwoong jokes, hand making its way to the button on your shorts. he undoes it quickly, advancing toward the zipper next. “that’ll be my quote for the interview.”

“i’ll send it to print,” you reply as jiwoong reattaches his lips to yours. your zipper comes undone and two sets of hands pull your shorts down, matthew walking over to lift you slightly as they shimmy them off of you. he smiles at you— a kind one.

“can i kiss you, too?” he asks, boyish looks on full display. you’d love to indulge him when he’s playing nice like this. 

you shake your head. “not yet.”

matthew sighs dramatically, hand running through his hair as hao chuckles.

“be careful,” jiwoong warns with a smirk. “he can only take so much of that.”

“oh, shut up,” matthew huffs before resuming his content observation of you.

hao pulls your panties to the side easily— flimsy, lace material you picked out just for tonight. “were you expecting this to happen?”

jiwoong sighs at the sight. “fuck, baby. were you dreaming about this? hm?”

you whimper as jiwoong kisses up your neck and hao rubs lazy circles around your clit with his thumb. 

“she loves that,” jiwoong whispers against your skin, glancing at hao next to him. “heart’s already racing.”

“is that right, baby? this feel good?” hao asks, suddenly applying more pressure. you throw your head back at the escalation, leaning back farther on your hands— subconsciously asking for even more friction. “dripping for us, honey girl.”

“please,” you beg with a mewl. “wanna feel you inside me.”

“which one?” jiwoong asks, glancing at hao.

“don’t care,” you answer, shaking your head.

“really? no preference?” hao asks with a smirk. “then i guess i’ll just leave and you can—.”

you grab hao by his shirt collar, causing him to stumble into you. he smiles: clearly happy he’s been chosen. 

jiwoong steps aside as hao takes his place in between your legs, hands in the air as he accepts his temporary rejection like a man. unfortunately this makes you want him all the more and you reach out your hand for him to hold.

“demoted to hand-holder,” he jokes, shaking his head. luckily, he figures out something to occupy him quickly as he sticks two of your fingers in his mouth— sucking on them gently.

your attention turns back to hao, who grabs your hips and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk. with your free hand, you reach for the waistband of his joggers— tugging at it until he finally indulges you and pulls them down along with his boxers. 

he stares at your pretty core, bottom lip catching in his teeth before lining himself up with your entrance. you take in the sight of his cock, somehow as elegant and refined as he is. hao’s hands latch around your hips again, fingers digging into the plush of your ass as he slowly pushes himself inside you.

the stretch is unbelievable— nothing like the tiny cake of rosin. you clench around him instinctively and hao hisses at the added pressure.

“relax, baby,” he whispers, touching his forehead to yours in an uncharacteristically sweet gesture. “everything’s okay. we’re just gonna make some more music, is all.”

you take a deep breath at his words, walls relaxing as you exhale. hao takes the opportunity to push himself further inside of you until he reaches the hilt. you sigh with satisfaction, more than happy to be this full.

hao pulls back, starting to slowly thrust in and out of you until he finds the perfect rhythm. “you feel fucking amazing.”

you smile as he moves his hands to your thighs, picking them up and deepening the angle as you wrap your left arm around his neck for support. a moan escapes you as the tip of him hits your cervix. 

“that’s it, honey,” he grunts, thrusts becoming sharper as he continues to hit your back-most wall. “sound so, so pretty like that.”

the pressure inside of you is becoming overwhelming. you need something to occupy you further as your high steadily approaches. you sit up slightly, kicking jiwoong lightly with your foot until he lets go of your hand. once it’s free, your fingers move to palm him through his shorts until matthew chuckles behind him.

“seems like she wants more than a hand to hold,” he observes with a smirk.

jiwoong’s brow raises reflexively in excitement. he nods at you in permission as you reach into his uniform shorts and pull out his cock. he exhales breathily as you explore him with your hand before wrapping your fist around it and beginning to pump.

his head lolls back at the teasing pace as you return your attention to hao, whose cheeks have flushed with his orgasm quickly approaching.

you push his hair from his forehead with your free hand, trying to savor how needy he looks in this moment. “gonna cum for me, haohao?”

“fuck, yes,” he breathes as his rhythm begins to falter. probably the only time in his life that hao’s ever been off the beat. “your thighs. wanna paint your pretty thighs again.”

you don’t need any more convincing. “let’s see it then.”

a few more shallow thrusts until hao pulls out of you, hand wrapping around his cock— cumming with a sweet moan as he drips onto your inner thighs. his lips part as he stares at the mess he’s made before sinking to his knees and licking every last drop from your skin.

“damn,” matthew whispers. “that’s hardcore.”

“so much better than the rosin,” hao remarks, standing up and kissing you before pulling his joggers up and taking a step back. 

a draft hits your impossibly wet cunt, glancing to your right for someone to fill the spot between your legs. matthew’s eyes widen eagerly, smiling at you far too politely in the hope of being picked. but you still weren’t done letting him simmer.

luckily, someone else’s cock is already in your hand.

jiwoong is gripping the desk beside you as you continue to lazily pump him, trying his best to maintain control as he stares at the ceiling. it’s actually kind of cute.

“jiwoong-ah,” you call softly, hand stopping its motion. he meets your gaze, clearing his throat when you smile at him. “want you to fuck me.”

“i thought you might say that,” jiwoong replies nonchalantly, his tone starkly contrasting the speed at which he moves to stand between your legs. “let’s change things up, shall we?”

he holds his hand out to you, helping you off the desk and then turning you around to face it. your stomach pressed up against the wooden desk, jiwoong runs his hands down your waist— cupping your ass with a firm squeeze when he reaches it.

“like it?” you ask, wiggling your ass slightly for him.

“i’ve seen better,” he says with a shrug, hands still kneading hungrily at your cheeks.

you look up over your shoulder, meeting his gaze. “well i’d love to hear any suggestions for improvement that you have when this is all over.”

jiwoong gulps, biting his lip as he spreads your legs with his hand. you step a little further apart, gasping when he suddenly shoves his cock inside of you. 

“you’re sure you’ve done this before?” jiwoong asks with a groan as he laboredly manages to push himself all the way in. “kinda tight in here.”

“seriously? it so doesn’t work like that. and do you really think i’d lose my virginity to any of you assholes?” you retort, glancing over your shoulder to find taerae staring quietly back at you. “but it seems like someone here wants to lose there’s to me.”

everyone looks at taerae, who is standing with his arms folded across his chest— painfully hard even through his grey joggers. he shakes his head weakly, “th-that’s not true.”

you motion him closer, watching as he takes cautious, shaky steps towards you. like you’re not the person who knows the most about him in this world. like you’re a monster in a haunted house.

when he’s finally in reach, you grab his shirt sleeve and pull him to your side. he stares at you with wide eyes before you raise your brow expectantly and instruct: “kiss me.”

“what!?” he exclaims, like you’ve asked him to kill you instead. like he didn’t just kiss you yesterday. like he hadn’t just fucked your throat in the middle of class until you couldn’t speak. “i—...”

tired of his nonsense, you kiss him instead as jiwoong coils an arm up your stomach— groping at your chest as he thrusts into you: fast, hungry, and desperate. taerae pulls back after a moment, blinking at you before diving in for more.

the head of jiwoong’s cock pounds against the spongy, soft spot in your front wall and you can’t help but moan into taerae’s mouth as your climax approaches. he breaks your kiss, lips parted as you stare directly at him— whimpering for release as your hand balls his shirt sleeve into a fist.

jiwoong pulls you toward him so that your back is flush against his chest. you look over your shoulder, his lips immediately attaching to yours as you whine against them.

“i really like it,” jiwoong rambles deliriously between kisses, grabbing your ass so hard you think the flesh might bruise. “sorry for lying, baby. it’s perfect. s’perfect. gonna cum all over it.”

“oh my god,” you cry as your orgasm hits you. jiwoong sighs, most likely relieved he doesn’t have to keep holding on himself. “woongie.”

“that’s it, baby,” he coaxes, sucking and biting at your neck as his thrusts become erratic. “such a good girl, cumming all over my cock.”

when your walls finally stop spasming around him, jiwoong pulls out of you— cumming with a weak sigh all over the top of your ass. just as he promised.

“good?” he asks, giving your ass one last smack before backing away.

you nod happily, the hot liquid starting to drip down onto your cheeks. “good.”

someone begins to blot at jiwoong’s cum with a piece of fabric and you turn over your shoulder to see who it is.

“you’re so fucking hot right now,” matthew compliments, cheeks noticeably redder than before as he wipes up the mess with his jersey. maybe you’re being too harsh in testing his patience. “you have no idea. or maybe you do, i dunno.”

you shift your body to face him, pressing your lips to his. he responds almost instantly, attempting to deepen the kiss when you pull away. “i’m gonna deal with this one first, actually,” you say, hand gripping taerae’s shirt sleeve a little tighter.

at your denial, matthew swallows hard— the metaphorical gloves starting to come off. “i think i’ve been waiting pretty patiently.”

“you have, honey,” you coo patronizingly, running your free hand through his hair. “do you think you can be patient for a little while longer?”

he inhales sharply at the soft language, pupils dilating as he unconsciously gives away his enjoyment of this tone. you wink, causing matthew to step back with an angry huff out of your reach. “whatever,” he reluctantly agrees before sulking over to a chair in the corner.

“he’s gonna explode,” hao mutters under his breath to jiwoong.

you turn to your right, eyes meeting taerae’s. he’s chewing his lip nervously and you’re not really sure what the right approach is. you take his hand and lead him over to the couch— lying down on your back and spreading your legs, gesturing for him to lie down in between them. after a long moment, he does.

you stare at his joggers until he gets the hint to pull them down, hard cock hitting his lower abdomen as he releases it. he stares at it, inches from your pussy before looking back up at you in disbelief.

“don’t get too worked up,” you tease, reaching your hand through your legs and wrapping it around his cock. you align it with your entrance as taerae’s chest falls closer to yours. “don’t you wanna last longer than you did yesterday?”

the tips of his ears burn at what seems to be a new mortally embarrassing core memory for him. “shut up.”

“taerae-ya,” you call, eyes meeting his again. you hope he can see how genuine you are as you ask, “do you really wanna do this?”

once more, his eyes are a whirlpool of conflict. you think he might even say no... until he suddenly shoves himself inside of you with one quick thrust.

“oh my fucking god,” he moans, harmonizing with your cry at the abrupt fullness. “oh my god.”

you wrap your legs around him to ensure he doesn’t try to bite off more than he can chew in this moment. “if you cum right now, i swear to whatever god you’re name-dropping, tae...”

“i won’t, i won’t,” he assures raspily, but the way his face is screwed up in pleasure leaves you unconvinced. 

“wouldn’t have to be giving that warning to me,” matthew mumbles saltily from the corner. “just saying.”

“damn, i never thought i’d watch someone i wasn’t fucking lose their virginity,” jiwoong comments with fascination. “was i this pathetic?”

“probably,” hao replies matter-of-factly. “you were pretty pathetic just now, too.”

“not. a. virgin,” taerae asserts, punctuating each word with a rough thrust. you moan at the sensation, an audible queue for him to continue at that intensity. his motion is surprisingly fluid. you were positive he’d been lying about having lost his virginity, but now you weren’t so sure.

the brutal pace at which he’s bucking into you, however, is leaving you a bit dumb. it’s like he’s fucking the thoughts out of you. maybe it’s intentional. maybe it’s because you can’t stop whining for more.

“fuck, you’ve got her begging,” jiwoong says, tongue already licking his lips again as he watches your tits bounce with each thrust. “not bad, kid.”

matthew sighs exasperatedly in the corner. you know what he’s thinking: he could do better.

taerae shakes his head softly, biting his lip as he tries his best to keep going. “i—... fuck, you feel so good. don’t wanna stop, but...”

“you need to cum?” you finish for him.

he nods frantically. “but i can’t yet, i... have to last longer, like you want me to...”

your hand rushes to the back of his neck, toying with the hairs at the nape. he mewls, clearly seconds from busting inside of you. “i was just kidding with you, tae. you did so good. you can cum now.”

his forehead falls to your chest with relief. “thank fuck, oh my god. where? where do you want me to—?”

“tits,” you interject your answer, grabbing his hands in yours and putting them on your breasts. “want you to cum on my tits.”

taerae pulls out so fast, you’re afraid he’ll get whiplash— pumping his cock over your pretty chest and cumming with a throaty moan. “fuck. holy fuck.”

you look around the room as taerae sits up, having been so preoccupied with all these boys that you hadn’t realized that one of them had been virtually absent this whole time. you’re puzzled as you spot hanbin sitting pensively on a desk toward the front of the room— quietly watching you get fucked by all his friends. 

you stand up from the couch, hao grabbing your arm for stability until you can walk on your shaky legs— gently brushing past the rest of the boys and walking over to the star of the soccer team.

he smiles at you, one brow piquing in interest as his eyes trail down to the cum dripping down your chest. “to what do i owe the honor of your undivided attention?”

something clicks for you now as you stand in front of him. “it was your idea, wasn’t it? the competition?”

hanbin doesn’t answer, he just tilts his head.

“and if it was your idea, doesn’t it mean that you wanted to win?” you ask, hand finding his bare thigh— inching dangerously closer towards his clothed bulge. “you wanted to fuck me? wanted a more literal way to get under my skin?”

“i just told you the little play on word thing was getting a bit old, didn’t—.”

he stops abruptly as you begin to palm him gently through the fabric of his shorts. he exhales breathily at the feeling, but doesn’t give you any more than that. 

instead, he replies softly, “think you got me all figured out then?”

“mm,” you affirm, applying a bit more pressure. he places his hand over yours to keep you there, but he doesn’t make another sound. “think you’re fucked in the head.”

“what’s taking so long?” matthew asks impatiently, far too close to losing his temper.

“this is my game now. you already played yours,” you say, slipping your hand out from underneath hanbin’s. again, he doesn’t protest, but the way his eyes are shining lets you know he doesn’t want to lose your attention just yet. you take the bottom of his jersey and wipe taerae’s cum off your skin to assert your dominance. “they all want to play by the rules. but you don’t. so you’ll have to wait here, i guess. watch all your friends ruin me, when it was your idea in the first place.”

you head back over to the other boys, walking over to matthew and immediately straddling him in his chair. “didn’t i tell you to be patient?”

“wanna fuck you so bad,” matthew growls, hands digging hungrily at your waist. you grind down on him in a warning. he moans softly. “i mean, under the circumstances, i think i did a pretty good job.”

“yeah? you think?” you ask, your condescending tone and another harsh grind against him causing him to whimper. “so i should give you what you want, then?”

there’s a flash of hope in his eyes. you start to lean in to kiss him when you’re suddenly thrown from matthew’s lap and manhandled to the carpeted floor. hanbin hovers between your legs, hands kneading into your thighs.

“hey,” he says with a grin.

you grin back. “hey.”

“sorry about that,” he apologizes, pulling his shorts down and gently tapping at your entrance with the head of his cock. “but you were right. and i didn’t wanna be last.”

“and where the fuck is my apology, huh!?” matthew yells, standing up in a fury. “we were clearly in the middle of something.”

“well, now we’re in the middle of something,” hanbin replies, pushing himself inside of you with a shrug. you whimper at the stretch, fist balling up the neckline of hanbin’s jersey. “so deal with it.”

“you always do this!” matthew shouts and you’re nearly positive he’s about to punch his hyung, when hao and jiwoong stand up and force him into a chair between them. jiwoong rubs his back comfortingly, attempting to calm him down for the time being. 

“look at you,” hanbin says with a smirk— long, slow strokes into you that effectively drive you insane. “he’d throw hands just to get a moment with you. s’gotta make you feel pretty good, right?”

you nod as his hips continue to roll into yours, languid and teasing. you moan when his thumb finds your clit, circling it gently as he begins to increase the pace of his thrusts.

“yeah? well it makes me feel fucking awful,” he confesses, hips snapping into you harshly. you cry out, second orgasm building rapidly as you try to pay attention to hanbin’s words. “thought i was throwing you to the wolves, not a handful of potential suitors.”

you’re not quite sure what he’s trying to say, brain focused on only one thing right now. 

“gonna cum for me, baby?” he asks with a smirk, sweat beginning to bead at his forehead. you nod frantically in response, fingers digging into his upperarm as he brings you to the edge. “go on, then— let everyone know who made you feel this good.”

he’s expecting you to scream his name. instead, when your climax hits, you pull hanbin down to you by his collar— pressing your lips to his and moaning against them as your walls flutter around his cock. your action surprises him, eyes wide until he finally responds. deepening the kiss, his thrusts suddenly grow passionate and tender as he works you through your high.

hanbin moves his hand from your clit, bringing it up to your face and running his thumb across your cheek. coming up for air, he whispers, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”

“you’ve called me ugly to my face almost every thursday for a year,” you reply, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to bring him even closer still. 

“it’s your fault, you... i—,” hanbin stutters, his thrusts grow haphazard as you feel his cock start to twitch inside you. “fuck, i’m gonna—.”

“how about you cum on my face then?” you suggest, tugging at hanbin’s hair— nails scratching at his scalp gently. “at least you won’t have to look at it if you cover it up.”

“that’s not—... m’not gonna...,” he protests before pulling out of you and climbing up to straddle your chest. hanbin pumps his cock in front of your face. “open your mouth.”

you prop yourself up on your elbows, opening your mouth for him and sticking out your tongue. with a throaty moan, he cums on your tongue— pumping out every last salty drop. you swallow it down, opening wide and showing hanbin that you’d done it. 

“fuck,” hanbin marvels before kissing you warmly. “i can’t believe you.”

“happy with the vulture you made?” you ask with a smirk.

he shakes his head. “not a vulture. a bird of fucking paradise.”

you’re about to tell him that a bird of paradise is a flower, not an actual species of bird, but hanbin stands up too quickly and returns to his seat on top of the corner desk— rubbing his forehead with his hands as if he’s upset by something. unfortunately, you don’t have any more time to dwell on him. you have one last boy to deal with.

you sit up on your knees, eyes locking with matthew before he abruptly turns away in the ultimate display of pettiness. seems like you were more than right about how he’d be in a situation like this. you crawl over to him seductively, placing your hands on his knees as you kneel in front of him.

“look at me, baby,” you plead in a soft voice, running your hands up and down his thighs. “wanna play with you.”

he sighs sadly. “do you? it kinda seems like you wanna play with everyone else more.”

“this kid,” jiwoong remarks with a chuckle. “weren’t you the one that said this was a great idea?”

“i didn’t think i’d have to wait so long to get a turn,” matthew sulks, eyes finally meeting yours again. you must look particularly enticing all fucked up like this, as a growl deep in his throat sounds at the sight of you. “waited so patiently.”

“you almost took a swing at hanbinnie, honey,” you remind him, reaching for the waistband of his shorts and pulling it down until matthew’s angry, thick cock is in your view. “how would you have explained his black eye to everyone at the championship game? hm?”

matthew whimpers as you wrap both hands around his length, popping the tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. “they w-wouldn’t be surprised.”

taerae snorts in response before returning to his silent observation from the couch.

you take him further into your mouth, sucking lazily as matthew breathes harder. when he’s nice and lubricated, you pull off of him and stand up— straddling him again like you had before hanbin interrupted you. this time, you lower yourself onto his impossibly hard cock with a satisfied sigh.

you start to fuck yourself on him, slow until you can find the right rhythm. there’s uncharacteristic silence coming from the boy beneath you.

“do you really want me the least?” matthew asks as your eyes meet, the adorable pout on his lips driving you crazy. 

you shake your head softly. “of course not, baby. but you’ve gotta be good. boys who choke waterboys have to be punished.”

matthew tilts his head innocently. “i didn’t mean to do that.”

you grab a fistful of hair at the back of his neck, yanking tightly. “don’t fucking lie to me.”

“holy shit,” jiwoong whispers.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” matthew whines quickly until your grip loosens. “i... i did sort of mean to do that.”

“i know, baby,” you reply, the pace of your bouncing growing quicker. “that’s why you had to go last this time.”

“this time?” hao and matthew ask at the same time.

you shrug. “so if you behave, you can go first next time.”

“next time?” jiwoong and taerae repeat.

matthew nods eagerly. “i can do that. i promise!”

“yeah?” you reply, promptly stopping your motion as you sink down onto him fully. “you promise to be a good boy?”

at the same time you ask the question, you squeeze his cock with your walls. 

“yes, mommy,” matthew cries, head lolling backward to expose his jugular to you. a stunned hush falls over the room. taerae’s jaw drops.

you glance behind you, three pairs of saucer-shaped eyes staring back at you. an impressed hao nods, holding out his hand for you to shake in respect. you do.

“wait, wait—... no, i—...” the boy underneath you pleads. “i didn’t—... that’s not what—.”

you squeeze your walls around him again, a strangled moan falling from his lips as he resumes his submissive state. “d’you want me to keep milking your cock or not, baby?”

“please,” he answers quickly, taking your hand and placing it gently at the base of his neck. “feels so good. want you to milk me dry.”

you oblige, thrilled to get exactly what you wanted out of him. you squeeze him tighter and tighter inside of you, grinding your hips softly against him— massaging softly up his neck with your hand until he’s begging for release.

“gonna cum,” matthew whines, hands moving down your waist before finally situating on your ass. “please, let me cum. (y/n). can’t take it anymore! gonna cum inside you if you don’t—.”

you hop off of him quickly, watching as his cock falls to his lower abdomen— cum covering his own skin as he sighs defeatedly through the ruined pleasure. his head falls to his hands, contemplating his life and where he went wrong.

“fuck, that was hot,” jiwoong says. you glance over, both him and hao now hard again in their joggers.

you smile, entirely satisfied with how this turned out. you try to take a step back toward the desk, but your legs aren’t as steady as you thought. taerae stands up from the couch, running to keep you on your feet. jiwoong and hao both get up after him, helping you up onto the desk with concerned expressions.

“are you okay?” taerae asks, bending down to the floor and grabbing your shirt. he hands it to you and you put it on with what little strength you have left. 

jiwoong walks over to his bag, grabbing a water bottle from the side pocket and bringing it back to you. he pops open the top and places it in your hand. “you need to drink, okay? we don’t need you passing out and us all getting questioned at a hospital.”

you nod, taking a sip from the water bottle. hao grabs a tissue from the box on the corner desk, walking over to you and dabbing your forehead gently.

this is bliss, you think. but... how does it all end?

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

click above or here to choose from one of seven endings <3 jiwoong, hao, matthew, hanbin, taerae, group, and revenge

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gender neutral version below

EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: heavy petting (reader and male receiving), penetrative sex (reader receiving), mild cum play, oral (male receiving), mostly dom/soft!dom boys but also subby!matthew, this is a CONSENSUAL gang bang, also all raw penetration whoops. language surrounding reader's genitals and penetration is vague to keep things as inclusive as possible. a couple mentions of reader's body being gorgeous, pretty, other aesthetic compliments but no gendered language.

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“enjoy the game! fighting!”

the words leave your mouth for the five hundredth time this evening as you hand out yet another set of programs. you give each attendee your most authentic smile as you greet them at the north entrance. 

“we’re at almost four hundred at the south entrance,” mina’s voice rings through the walkie-talkie on the table in front of you. it’s no surprise how well-attended tonight’s game is— everyone was invested in the long-held rivalry between your university and the opposing school. it had been a few years since your university’s soccer team had won this match-up. you wondered if they would tonight...

perhaps hanbin being made team captain this year would be the missing link to victory.

“hi! enjoy the game— fighting!” you exclaim once more. speaking of hanbin, he’d been right about one thing. tea with honey had repaired your voice perfectly. you’d even remembered to brew chamomile tea instead of black, so that good night’s sleep you’d been desperately needing was finally gifted to you.

you called mina that morning. you didn’t tell her what had happened per se, but you told her about each of the boys pursuing you... and you conveniently left jiwoong out of the equation for her own sake.

“i need to figure out how to get all of them in the same room,” you said, sending the finalized program for the big game to the campus activities director to print. you’d actually managed to finish it early this morning after emailing it to your sunbaenims to promptly approve. “but i don’t know how i’d manage to do that.”

“the campus activities interviews!” mina shouts excitedly. “sunbaenim was looking for a volunteer to do it for him tonight. if i make sure he recruits the right players, you’ll have them all to yourself in the activities lounge.”

all to yourself? 

just how lucky could you be?

~

“and number 13 approaches the goal, weaving through the opposition,” the announcer calls as hanbin dribbles the ball across the field. two defensive players from the rival team close in on him. “and he seems to be caught in a defensive trap. number 25 comes up behind him on his right and number 12 is on his left— will 13 be able to pass the ball successfully?”

you’re on the edge of your seat as hao waves at hanbin to signal he’s open. jiwoong’s making the same signal, but a bit more aggressively. personal issues with several members of the soccer team aside, you’re rooting for their win. it would mean a lot of positive attention and increased funding for your whole university to have the soccer team finally progress to the championship again.

you glance at the rest of the field. matthew’s in defense, the number 28 on his jersey shining in the flood lights as he blocks two rival offensive players all by himself. and, on the bench in his perfectly clean uniform sits taerae— number 14 kicking the grass with his cleats, not really paying attention to the riveting game going on in front of him.

“and 13 successfully passes to 25! 25 dodges a defensive player on his right, making a beeline for the goal,” the announcer continues, everyone in the stands beginning to rise to their feet as the anticipation grows unbearable. 

the scoreboard reads: 1-1.

hao is shooting distance from the goal, but he can’t seem to shake a couple defense players on his heels. there’s no way he’ll be able to make the goal like this. he looks at jiwoong, who is also preoccupied with defensive players of his own. it seems like all hope is lost until...

“number 13 sprints out ahead— a clear path between him and 25! 25 passes quickly to 13...”

hanbin’s cleat touches the ball, steadying himself for less than a second before he squares up and takes the shot.

the ball flies through the air. though it’s certainly going at least 70 miles per hour, it feels like you’re watching it in slow motion. mina grabs your hand, anxiety overflowing from every direction.

swish.

the ball flies over the goalie’s hands and into the netting behind him. the crowd erupts into cheers as the timeclock buzzer signals the end of the game.

hanbin stands in shock as the rest of his teammates rush toward him, engulfing him in their celebration. he’s lifted onto someone’s shoulders, grinning from ear to ear in pure joy and relief in a way you haven’t seen since you first met him. it’s a nice sight, if you’re being honest.

“i’m ready when you are,” mina says, squeezing your hand. “just fill me in after on how the revenge goes.”

“will do,” you say, making your way down the stairs of the stands. “just remember it’s what you asked for!”

the phrase sends a chill down your spine as you remember taerae’s thumb pressed to your tongue. you shake your head to snap out of it. there’s no time for hesitation.

you watch patiently as the celebration continues on the field. coach yang’s practically crying with pride. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him display an emotion other than boredom and annoyance before. camera now slung around your neck, you watch as the many attendees file out of the bleachers and out the exits. 

the players shake hands cordially with the other team, one of the rival defense players starting to give matthew a hard time— undoubtedly for being pig-headed and brash during the game. you’re sure he deserves a little roughing up, but you need him in good condition.

after the excitement finally dies down, the campus activities president makes his way over to you with a smirking mina at his side. “ready to get some good portraits of the players?”

you nod happily. more than ready.

“thanks for volunteering to do this for me. i’ve gotta be at the senior leadership conference way too early tomorrow morning,” your sunbaenim says as he and mina head out onto the field. “you can head to the activities lounge now and set up. mina will escort them right over!”

mina grins at you over her shoulder before you exit the soccer field and head towards kang hall. the warm night air calms you as you walk through the doors and make your way down the empty hallway, stopping when you finally reach the activities lounge. several desks, a few office chairs, and a small sofa litter the room.

this could work.

you grab the stack of interview consent forms out of the filing cabinet to your right before setting up the photo wall and camera at the back of the room. if, by chance, a few extra players are sent in, you’ll just have to get them out of the way first.

buzz buzz.

you check your phone to see a message from mina.

i’m sorry, coach yang made me take jiwoong, too. BLEGH. something about him being the left forward and “crucial to the game” or whatever. like, whatever helps him sleep at night, i guess. anyway, they’ll be there in a minute.

a minute. you can do this.

“two red flags!? it wasn’t even my fault. that guy was being a total dick,” you hear a muffled voice through the door. “so what i grabbed him by the collar? he should have a stronger windpipe if he can’t handle a little bit of good-natured choking!”

“it was the waterboy,” hao replies with a sigh. “you choked our waterboy.”

the door cracks open.

“he was in my way,” matthew says with a huff.

“he was trying to give you water,” taerae says quietly. 

“you guys never fucking support me,” matthew grumbles, the door flying open as he takes a step inside the lounge. his lips part at the sight of you as the other boys push him through.

soon you’re met with five pairs of wide eyes, all staring back at you from where you sit on top of a desk in the middle of the room— clipboard resting on your knees.

you smile at them, clicking your pen eerily. “welcome! and congratulations on your fantastic win. please line up across from me.”

after a few moments of uneasy silence, hanbin is the first to make his way to the middle of the room. he stands a few feet away from you, the rest of the boys walking over and creating a neat, horizontal line.

“you didn’t hear the stuff about the waterboy, did you?” matthew asks, pressing his lips together awkwardly.

“i absolutely did,” you answer shortly. “i also watched it happen. and the purposeful cleat to the nuts of that other player.”

“that other player being me,” hanbin says with a frown.

“oooh, tough luck,” you console, shaking your head. “they still work though, right?”

hanbin’s brow raises in surprise. to be able to catch him off-guard is literally thrilling.

“so, i assume you all know why we’re gathered here today,” you say, clicking your pen again.

“i’m guessing it’s not for a post-game interview,” jiwoong says, looking around the room.

you bite your cheek in a smile. “unfortunately, we do still have to do those. but first, i thought we’d start with an interview about a different game we all played this week.”

taerae’s brow raises immediately, turning to look at hanbin. “i thought you said (y/n) didn’t know about that!”

your face falls. “know about what?”

“i believe it was a play on words. (y/n)’s poetry, recently, has been littered with them. it was cute the first five times, but it’s actually becoming a bit redundant now if i do say so myself,” hanbin says, glaring at taerae. “but now you’ve gone and opened your gigantic mou—.”

“it was a game,” hao interjects flatly. “this week was all just a game to see who could fuck you first.”

leave it to hao to always cut the bullshit. and always cut deep.

you knew there had to be a reason why these boys that had bullied you for years suddenly all wanted a taste of you. this explanation did make the most sense.

“well, it wasn’t just a game,” jiwoong replies with a shrug. “it was a really good game.”

“yeah, i’d play again,” matthew says with a grin. “especially considering nobody won.”

you scoff.  “you literally lectured me for ten minutes about how you have no interest in fucking me, because i’m so tainted now.”

“yeah, i mean, definitely not how i prefer ‘em, but...” matthew smirks at taerae. “what was it you said yesterday? ‘a hole’s a hole’?”

taerae gulps as your eyes narrow at him in fury. “how—... how does he know you said that!?”

“hyung screen-recorded it,” matthew answers with an oblivious smile. “highest bidder got the file.”

“oh, so the game has mini-games now, too!?” you shout, staring daggers into hanbin. “do you have any moral decency left?”

“of course,” he answers, frowning as if he’s offended by the accusation. “if i didn’t, i would’ve just posted it. but i played it fair and took the 1,400 won.”

“YOU SOLD MY SEX TAPE FOR A DOLLAR!?”

“a dollar and five cents,” hanbin corrects with a smile.

“i forgot to bring my wallet to practice,” jiwoong says with a sorry shrug. “otherwise i would’ve bid at least two.”

“and i didn’t want it,” hao follows, absentmindedly examining his fingers. “i’m not depraved like the rest of them.”

you laugh incredulously. “oh, that’s rich, coming from the guy who covered 86,000 won tree sap with my—”

“but seriously, man, that was cold,” matthew interrupts, patting taerae on the back in praise. “didn’t know you were cool like that.”

“oh, well i—,” taerae starts, almost sounding like he’s about to deny it. but instead he just shrugs, meekly replying, “me neither.”

“that’s ‘cause he’s not,” you seethe. “how about you tell all of your cool, new friends how you sucked your thumb until sophomore year of—.”

“why don’t you pick a winner?” hanbin asks, smiling at you gently. “isn’t that even better than what we’d planned? you got to experience it all.”

your lips purse in contemplation. “like... pick who got the farthest?”

he shakes his head. “pick who you want to fuck you the most.”

“i see,” you hum after a moment. you scan the line of boys in their soccer uniforms and university apparel. each looks a different version of eager as they await your answer. but unfortunately, they’d all already fallen straight into your trap the moment they’d stepped in the activities lounge. 

you lean forward, pretending to size them all up.

“i’m sorry, but i don’t think i can do that,” you respond finally, hopping off of the desk. “you’ve all been nothing but awful to me this whole year. why would i ever pick one of you? do you think i fucking hate myself?”

the boys begin to give each other cautious glances. 

“don’t answer that,” you snap, setting your clipboard and pen down on the desk to your left.

matthew scratches the back of his neck, clarifying, “so… you’re not gonna pick?”

“no, i’m not gonna pick,” you assert, walking towards the door as your plan propels into motion. there’s a few disappointed sighs from the boys who’d made a game out of your body. it was demeaning. it was sadistic. 

it was… hot.

“why would i pick one of you,” you say as you lock the door, turning back around to face the gaggle of idiots hanging on your every word. “... when i can have all of you?”

“oh shit,” hao whispers, breaking the stunned silence filling the room. all of the other boys stare at you, jaws dropped.

“(y/n),” taerae pleads quietly, eyes worried and sincere. “what are you saying? you don’t want that!”

“you don’t get to tell me what i want anymore,” you reply succinctly. you’re drinking it in, the feeling of being needed by five men at once. it fills you with a sense of power: the thing these same men tried to take away from you. it’s intoxicating. “and stop pretending like you still know me. you don’t. but...”

taerae’s left eyebrow raises ever-so-slightly as your thought hangs still-incomplete in the air.

“you could know me again,” you suggest softly, running the tip of your tongue across the back of your teeth. “and you could know me really well this time.”

your former best friend exhales, shaking his head weakly.

“you’re really gonna pass that up?” jiwoong asks, stepping forward indignantly as if he thinks taerae’s insane. “been waiting to get my hands back on you all week.”

“it sounds good to you then?” you reply, holding back a smile as jiwoong starts rolling up his jacket sleeves— a definitive nod in your direction. “is jiwoongie really the only taker?”

“fuck no,” matthew responds suddenly, any restraint he was previously demonstrating wiped away completely. “that’s what you want? i’m all in. let’s start now.”

hao hits his arm, hissing, “get it together.”

“why?” matt asks, folding his arms across his chest as he turns to face hao. “i wanna get my dick wet. so do you. so does everyone here. isn’t this the best solution?”

“yeah, isn’t it?” you ask, walking up to hao slowly. enough talking. it’s time for action. you close in on him, nearly chest-to-chest as you hold him with your gaze. you fight a smug grin as your hand gently tugs at the waistband of his joggers, “please... concertmaster?”

you’re thrown onto the desk behind you in seconds, hao’s long fingers wrapping around your jaw as his tongue slips down your throat. situating himself between your legs, your cores grow closer and closer together. he raises your arms, pulling your shirt over your head and dropping it on the floor in a careless ball.

“holy fucking—... this is really happening,” matthew mumbles as he takes a step closer, standing a few feet from your side so he can get a better view. though his brazenness isn’t so great for his teammates, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on in this context. you don’t want to give into him just yet, though. you have plans for him.

you glance over at jiwoong, worried for the state of his bottom lip as he chews it anxiously. you pull back from hao, wrapping your hand around his forearm to keep him close to you and batting your eyelashes invitingly at the older boy.

he points to himself, brow raising happily when you nod in affirmation. he walks over to you, obviously trying to stay as suave and nonchalant as he possibly can. 

“you want hyung instead?” hao asks possessively, an undeniable pout on his lips at the thought of being discarded for someone better.

you squeeze his arm reassuringly, whispering in his ear, “he wants me.”

“so do i,” he replies, running his hand up your thigh. the unexpected display of jealousy from hao sends you reeling; another wave of arousal rushing to your heat as jiwoong closes the gap between you. “need something, hyung?”

“i was just watching you swap saliva, when i remembered how we didn’t kiss on monday,” jiwoong answers, eyes locked with yours. “i just think you might like the privilege of kissing me.”

“oh, you think that, do you?” you reply with a smirk. “well, if you’re that certain... i’m willing to hear you out.”

jiwoong smiles, placing a hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours sweetly. he pulls back, perhaps trying to gauge your reaction. 

“well that was a let down,” matthew mumbles from beside you, rolling his eyes. you notice that taerae’s also come closer, standing a bit farther back than him but watching intently. and concernedly.

jiwoong laughs, kissing you again— this time, leaving you breathless with how passionately and skillfully his lips move against yours. it might be the best kiss you’ve ever had. you moan softly against him as hao’s hand now grazes over your clothed core.

your hand moves from hao’s arm to his fingers, holding him there against you. he huffs a laugh as jiwoong pulls back, smirking at hao.

“it’s all about teamwork,” jiwoong jokes, hand making its way to the button on your shorts. he undoes it quickly, advancing toward the zipper next. “that’ll be my quote for the interview.”

“i’ll send it to print,” you reply as jiwoong reattaches his lips to yours. your zipper comes undone and two sets of hands pull your shorts down, matthew walking over to lift you slightly as they shimmy them off of you. he smiles at you— a kind one.

“can i kiss you, too?” he asks, boyish looks on full display. you’d love to indulge him when he’s playing nice like this. 

you shake your head. “not yet.”

matthew sighs dramatically, hand running through his hair as hao chuckles.

“be careful,” jiwoong warns with a smirk. “he can only take so much of that.”

“oh, shut up,” matthew huffs before resuming his content observation of you.

hao bites his lip when he realizes you weren’t wearing any underwear. “were you expecting this to happen?”

jiwoong sighs at the sight. “fuck, baby. were you dreaming about this? hm?”

you whimper as jiwoong kisses up your neck and hao begins to lazily stroke you where you need him most.

“you love that, don’t you?” jiwoong whispers against your skin, glancing at hao next to him. “heart’s already racing.”

“is that right, baby? this feel good?” hao asks, suddenly applying more pressure. you throw your head back at the escalation, leaning back farther on your hands— subconsciously asking for even more friction.

“please,” you beg with a mewl. “wanna feel you inside me.”

“which one?” jiwoong asks, glancing at hao.

“don’t care,” you answer, shaking your head.

“really? no preference?” hao asks with a smirk. “then i guess i’ll just leave and you can—.”

you grab hao by his shirt collar, causing him to stumble into you. he smiles: clearly happy he’s been chosen. 

jiwoong steps aside as hao takes his place in between your legs, hands in the air as he accepts his temporary rejection like a man. unfortunately this makes you want him all the more and you reach out your hand for him to hold.

“demoted to hand-holder,” he jokes, shaking his head. luckily, he figures out something to occupy him quickly as he sticks two of your fingers in his mouth— sucking on them gently.

your attention turns back to hao, who grabs your hips and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk and leaning you back so that you’re fully exposed to him. with your free hand, you reach for the waistband of his joggers— tugging at it until he finally indulges you and pulls them down along with his boxers. 

he stares at your opening, bottom lip catching in his teeth before lining himself up with your entrance. you take in the sight of his cock, somehow as elegant and refined as he is. hao’s hands latch around your hips again, fingers digging into the plush of your ass as he slowly pushes himself inside you.

the stretch is unbelievable and you clench around him instinctively, causing him to hiss at the added pressure.

“relax, baby,” he whispers, running his hands up and down your thighs to calm you in an uncharacteristically sweet gesture. “everything’s okay. we’re just gonna make some more music, is all.”

you take a deep breath at his words, walls relaxing as you exhale. hao takes the opportunity to push himself further inside of you until he reaches the hilt. you sigh with satisfaction, more than happy to be this full.

hao pulls back, starting to slowly thrust in and out of you until he finds the perfect rhythm. “you feel fucking amazing.”

you’re unable to contain the pretty sounds that have been building up inside you as he fucks you even deeper.

“that’s it, honey,” he grunts, thrusts becoming sharper as he continues to hit your back-most wall. “sound so, so pretty like that.”

the pressure inside of you is becoming overwhelming. you need something to occupy you further as your high steadily builds. you sit up slightly, kicking jiwoong lightly with your foot until he lets go of your hand. once it’s free, your fingers move to palm him through his shorts until matthew chuckles behind him.

“seems like you want more than a hand to hold,” he observes with a smirk.

jiwoong’s brow raises reflexively in excitement. he nods at you in permission as you reach into his uniform shorts and pull out his cock. he exhales breathily as you explore him with your hand before wrapping your fist around it and beginning to pump.

his head lolls back at the teasing pace as you return your attention to hao, whose cheeks have flushed with his orgasm quickly approaching.

you push his hair from his forehead with your free hand, trying to savor how needy he looks in this moment. “gonna cum for me, haohao?”

“fuck, yes,” he breathes as his rhythm begins to falter. probably the only time in his life that hao’s ever been off the beat. “your thighs. wanna paint your perfect thighs again.”

you don’t need any more convincing. “let’s see it then.”

a few more shallow thrusts until hao pulls out of you, hand wrapping around his cock— cumming with a sweet moan as he drips onto your inner thighs. his lips part as he stares at the mess he’s made before sinking to his knees and licking every last drop from your skin.

“damn,” matthew whispers. “that’s hardcore.”

“so much better than the rosin,” hao remarks, standing up and kissing you before pulling his joggers up and taking a step back. 

a draft hits your aching heat, glancing to your right for someone to fill the spot between your legs. matthew’s eyes widen eagerly, smiling at you far too politely in the hope of being picked. but you still weren’t done letting him simmer.

luckily, someone else’s cock is already in your hand.

jiwoong is gripping the desk beside you as you continue to lazily pump him, trying his best to maintain control as he stares at the ceiling. it’s actually kind of cute.

“jiwoong-ah,” you call softly, hand stopping its motion. he meets your gaze, clearing his throat when you smile at him. “want you to fuck me.”

“i thought you might say that,” jiwoong replies nonchalantly, his tone starkly contrasting the speed at which he moves to stand between your legs. “let’s change things up, shall we?”

he holds his hand out to you, helping you off the desk and then turning you around to face it. your stomach pressed up against the wooden desk, jiwoong runs his hands down your waist— cupping your ass with a firm squeeze when he reaches it.

“like it?” you ask, wiggling your ass slightly for him.

“i’ve seen better,” he says with a shrug, hands still kneading hungrily at your cheeks.

you look up over your shoulder, meeting his gaze. “well i’d love to hear any suggestions for improvement that you have when this is all over.”

jiwoong gulps, biting his lip as he spreads your legs with his hand. you step a little further apart, gasping when he suddenly shoves his cock inside of you. 

“you’re sure you’ve done this before?” jiwoong asks with a groan as he laboredly manages to push himself all the way in. “kinda tight in here.”

“seriously? do you really think i’d lose my virginity to any of you assholes?” you retort, glancing over your shoulder to find taerae staring quietly back at you. “but it seems like someone here wants to lose there’s to me.”

everyone looks at taerae, who is standing with his arms folded across his chest— painfully hard even through his grey joggers. he shakes his head weakly, “th-that’s not true.”

you motion him closer, watching as he takes cautious, shaky steps towards you. like you’re not the person who knows the most about him in this world. like you’re a monster in a haunted house.

when he’s finally in reach, you grab his shirt sleeve and pull him to your side. he stares at you with wide eyes before you raise your brow expectantly and instruct: “kiss me.”

“what!?” he exclaims, like you’ve asked him to kill you instead. like he didn’t just kiss you yesterday. like he hadn’t just fucked your throat in the middle of class until you couldn’t speak. “i—...”

tired of his nonsense, you kiss him instead as jiwoong coils an arm up your stomach— groping at your chest as he thrusts into you: fast, hungry, and desperate. taerae pulls back after a moment, blinking at you before diving in for more.

the head of jiwoong’s cock pounds into your sweet spot and you can’t help but moan into taerae’s mouth as your climax approaches. he breaks your kiss, lips parted as you stare directly at him— whimpering for release as your hand balls his shirt sleeve into a fist.

jiwoong pulls you toward him so that your back is flush against his chest. you look over your shoulder, his lips immediately attaching to yours as you whine against them.

“i really like it,” jiwoong rambles deliriously between kisses, grabbing your ass so hard you think the flesh might bruise. “sorry for lying, baby. it’s perfect. s’perfect. gonna cum all over it.”

“oh my god,” you cry as your orgasm hits you. jiwoong sighs, most likely relieved he doesn’t have to keep holding on himself. “woongie.”

“that’s it, baby,” he coaxes, sucking and biting at your neck as his thrusts become erratic. “so good for me, cumming all over my cock.”

when you come down, jiwoong pulls out of you— cumming with a weak sigh all over the top of your ass. just as he promised.

“good?” he asks, giving your ass one last smack before backing away.

you nod happily, the hot liquid starting to drip down onto your cheeks. “good.”

someone begins to blot at jiwoong’s cum with a piece of fabric and you turn over your shoulder to see who it is.

“you’re so fucking hot right now,” matthew compliments, cheeks noticeably redder than before as he wipes up the mess with his jersey. maybe you’re being too harsh in testing his patience. “you have no idea. or maybe you do, i dunno.”

you shift your body to face him, pressing your lips to his. he responds almost instantly, attempting to deepen the kiss when you pull away. “i’m gonna deal with this one first, actually,” you say, hand gripping taerae’s shirt sleeve a little tighter.

at your denial, matthew swallows hard— the metaphorical gloves starting to come off. “i think i’ve been waiting pretty patiently.”

“you have, honey,” you coo patronizingly, running your free hand through his hair. “do you think you can be patient for a little while longer?”

he inhales sharply at the soft language, pupils dilating as he unconsciously gives away his enjoyment of this tone. you wink, causing matthew to step back with an angry huff out of your reach. “whatever,” he reluctantly agrees before sulking over to a chair in the corner.

“he’s gonna explode,” hao mutters under his breath to jiwoong.

you turn to your right, eyes meeting taerae’s. he’s chewing his lip nervously and you’re not really sure what the right approach is. you take his hand and lead him over to the couch— lying down on your back and spreading your legs, gesturing for him to lie down in between them. after a long moment, he does.

you stare at his joggers until he gets the hint to pull them down, hard cock hitting his lower abdomen as he releases it. he stares at it, inches from your core before looking back up at you in disbelief.

“don’t get too worked up,” you tease, reaching your hand through your legs and wrapping it around his cock. you align it with your entrance as taerae’s chest falls closer to yours. “don’t you wanna last longer than you did yesterday?”

the tips of his ears burn at what seems to be a new mortally embarrassing core memory for him. “shut up.”

“taerae-ya,” you call, eyes meeting his again. you hope he can see how genuine you are as you ask, “do you really wanna do this?”

once more, his eyes are a whirlpool of conflict. you think he might even say no... until he suddenly shoves himself inside of you with one quick thrust.

“oh my fucking god,” he moans, harmonizing with your cry at the abrupt fullness. “oh my god.”

you wrap your legs around him to ensure he doesn’t try to bite off more than he can chew in this moment. “if you cum right now, i swear to whatever god you’re name-dropping, tae...”

“i won’t, i won’t,” he assures raspily, but the way his face is screwed up in pleasure leaves you unconvinced. 

“wouldn’t have to be giving that warning to me,” matthew mumbles saltily from the corner. “just saying.”

“damn, i never thought i’d watch someone i wasn’t fucking lose their virginity,” jiwoong comments with fascination. “was i this pathetic?”

“probably,” hao replies matter-of-factly. “you were pretty pathetic just now, too.”

“not. a. virgin,” taerae asserts, punctuating each word with a rough thrust. you moan at the sensation, an audible queue for him to continue at that intensity. his motion is surprisingly fluid. you were positive he’d been lying about having lost his virginity, but now you weren’t so sure.

the brutal pace at which he’s bucking into you, however, is leaving you a bit dumb. it’s like he’s fucking the thoughts out of you. maybe it’s intentional. maybe it’s because you can’t stop whining for more.

“fuck, you’ve got (y/n) begging,” jiwoong says, tongue already licking his lips again as he watches your body bounce with each thrust. “not bad, kid.”

matthew sighs exasperatedly in the corner. you know what he’s thinking: he could do better.

taerae shakes his head softly, biting his lip as he tries his best to keep going. “i—... fuck, you feel so good. don’t wanna stop, but...”

“you need to cum?” you finish for him.

he nods frantically. “but i can’t yet, i... have to last longer, like you want me to...”

your hand rushes to the back of his neck, toying with the hairs at the nape. he mewls, clearly seconds from busting inside of you. “i was just kidding with you, tae. you did so good. you can cum now.”

his forehead falls to your chest with relief. “thank fuck, oh my god. where? where do you want me to—?”

“stomach,” you interject your answer, grabbing his hands in yours and putting them on your breasts. “want you to cum on my stomach.”

taerae pulls out so fast, you’re afraid he’ll get whiplash— pumping his cock over your stomach and cumming with a breathy moan. “fuck. holy fuck.”

you look around the room as taerae sits up, having been so preoccupied with all these boys that you hadn’t realized that one of them had been virtually absent this whole time. you’re puzzled as you spot hanbin sitting pensively on a desk toward the front of the room— quietly watching you get fucked by all his friends. 

you stand up from the couch, hao grabbing your arm for stability until you can walk on your shaky legs— gently brushing past the rest of the boys and walking over to the star of the soccer team.

he smiles at you, one brow piquing in interest as his eyes trail down to the cum dripping down your stomach. “to what do i owe the honor of your undivided attention?”

something clicks for you now as you stand in front of him. “it was your idea, wasn’t it? the competition?”

hanbin doesn’t answer, he just tilts his head.

“and if it was your idea, doesn’t it mean that you wanted to win?” you ask, hand finding his bare thigh— inching dangerously closer towards his clothed bulge. “you wanted to fuck me? wanted a more literal way to get under my skin?”

“i just told you the little play on word thing was getting a bit old, didn’t—.”

he stops abruptly as you begin to palm him gently through the fabric of his shorts. he exhales breathily at the feeling, but doesn’t give you any more than that. 

instead, he replies softly, “think you got me all figured out then?”

“mm,” you affirm, applying a bit more pressure. he places his hand over yours to keep you there, but he doesn’t make another sound. “think you’re fucked in the head.”

“what’s taking so long?” matthew asks impatiently, far too close to losing his temper.

“this is my game now. you already played yours,” you say, slipping your hand out from underneath hanbin’s. again, he doesn’t protest, but the way his eyes are shining lets you know he doesn’t want to lose your attention just yet. you take the bottom of his jersey and wipe taerae’s cum off your skin to assert your dominance. “they all want to play by the rules. but you don’t. so you’ll have to wait here, i guess. watch all your friends ruin me, when it was your idea in the first place.”

you head back over to the other boys, walking over to matthew and immediately straddling him in his chair. “didn’t i tell you to be patient?”

“wanna fuck you so bad,” matthew growls, hands digging hungrily at your waist. you grind down on him in a warning. he moans softly. “i mean, under the circumstances, i think i did a pretty good job.”

“yeah? you think?” you ask, your condescending tone and another harsh grind against him causing him to whimper. “so i should give you what you want, then?”

there’s a flash of hope in his eyes. you start to lean in to kiss him when you’re suddenly thrown from matthew’s lap and manhandled to the carpeted floor. hanbin hovers between your legs, hands kneading into your thighs.

“hey,” he says with a grin.

you grin back. “hey.”

“sorry about that,” he apologizes, pulling his shorts down and gently tapping at your entrance with the head of his cock. “but you were right. and i didn’t wanna be last.”

“and where the fuck is my apology, huh!?” matthew yells, standing up in a fury. “we were clearly in the middle of something.”

“well, now we’re in the middle of something,” hanbin replies, burying himself inside of you with a shrug. you whimper at the stretch, fist balling up the neckline of hanbin’s jersey. “so deal with it.”

“you always do this!” matthew shouts and you’re nearly positive he’s about to punch his hyung, when hao and jiwoong stand up and force him into a chair between them. jiwoong rubs his back comfortingly, attempting to calm him down for the time being. 

“look at you,” hanbin says with a smirk— long, slow strokes into you that effectively drive you insane. “he’d throw hands just to get a moment with you. s’gotta make you feel pretty good, right?”

you nod as his hips continue to roll into yours, languid and teasing. you moan when he begins to increase the pace of his thrusts.

“yeah? well it makes me feel fucking awful,” he confesses, hips snapping into you harshly. you cry out, second orgasm building rapidly as you try to pay attention to hanbin’s words. “thought i was throwing you to the wolves, not a handful of potential suitors.”

you’re not quite sure what he’s trying to say, brain focused on only one thing right now. 

“gonna cum for me, baby?” he asks with a smirk, sweat beginning to bead at his forehead. you nod frantically in response, fingers digging into his upperarm as he brings you to the edge. “go on, then— let everyone know who made you feel this good.”

he’s expecting you to scream his name. instead, when your climax hits, you pull hanbin down to you by his collar— pressing your lips to his and moaning against them. your action surprises him, eyes wide until he finally responds. deepening the kiss, his thrusts suddenly grow passionate and tender as he works you through your high.

hanbin brings his hand up to your face and runs his thumb across your cheek. coming up for air, he whispers, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”

“you’ve called me ugly to my face almost every thursday for a year,” you reply, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to bring him even closer still. 

“it’s your fault, you... i—,” hanbin stutters, his thrusts grow haphazard as you feel his cock start to twitch inside you. “fuck, i’m gonna—.”

“how about you cum on my face then?” you suggest, tugging at hanbin’s hair— nails scratching at his scalp gently. “at least you won’t have to look at it if you cover it up.”

“that’s not—... m’not gonna...,” he protests before pulling out of you and climbing up to straddle your chest. hanbin pumps his cock in front of your face. “open your mouth.”

you prop yourself up on your elbows, opening your mouth for him and sticking out your tongue. with a throaty moan, he cums on your tongue— pumping out every last salty drop. you swallow it down, opening wide and showing hanbin that you’d done it. 

“fuck,” hanbin marvels before kissing you warmly. “i can’t believe you.”

“happy with the vulture you made?” you ask with a smirk.

he shakes his head. “not a vulture. a bird of fucking paradise.”

you’re about to tell him that a bird of paradise is a flower, not an actual species of bird, but hanbin stands up too quickly and returns to his seat on top of the corner desk— rubbing his forehead with his hands as if he’s upset by something. unfortunately, you don’t have any more time to dwell on him. you have one last boy to deal with.

you sit up on your knees, eyes locking with matthew before he abruptly turns away in the ultimate display of pettiness. seems like you were more than right about how he’d be in a situation like this. you crawl over to him seductively, placing your hands on his knees as you kneel in front of him.

“look at me, baby,” you plead in a soft voice, running your hands up and down his thighs. “wanna play with you.”

he sighs sadly. “do you? it kinda seems like you wanna play with everyone else more.”

“this kid,” jiwoong remarks with a chuckle. “weren’t you the one that said this was a great idea?”

“i didn’t think i’d have to wait so long to get a turn,” matthew sulks, eyes finally meeting yours again. you must look particularly enticing all fucked up like this, as a growl deep in his throat sounds at the sight of you. “waited so patiently.”

“you almost took a swing at hanbinnie, honey,” you remind him, reaching for the waistband of his shorts and pulling it down until matthew’s angry, thick cock is in your view. “how would you have explained his black eye to everyone at the championship game? hm?”

matthew whimpers as you wrap both hands around his length, popping the tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. “they w-wouldn’t be surprised.”

taerae snorts in response before returning to his silent observation from the couch.

you take him further into your mouth, sucking lazily as matthew breathes harder. when he’s nice and lubricated, you pull off of him and stand up— straddling him again like you had before hanbin interrupted you. this time, you lower yourself onto his impossibly hard cock with a satisfied sigh.

you start to fuck yourself on him, slow until you can find the right rhythm. there’s uncharacteristic silence coming from the boy beneath you.

“do you really want me the least?” matthew asks as your eyes meet, the adorable pout on his lips driving you crazy. 

you shake your head softly. “of course not, baby. but you’ve gotta be good. boys who choke waterboys have to be punished.”

matthew tilts his head innocently. “i didn’t mean to do that.”

you grab a fistful of hair at the back of his neck, yanking tightly. “don’t fucking lie to me.”

“holy shit,” jiwoong whispers.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” matthew whines quickly until your grip loosens. “i... i did sort of mean to do that.”

“i know, baby,” you reply, the pace of your bouncing growing quicker. “that’s why you had to go last this time.”

“this time?” hao and matthew ask at the same time.

you shrug. “so if you behave, you can go first next time.”

“next time?” jiwoong and taerae repeat.

matthew nods eagerly. “i can do that. i promise!”

“yeah?” you reply, promptly stopping your motion as you sink down onto him fully. “you promise to be a good boy?”

at the same time you ask the question, you squeeze his cock with your walls. 

matthew lets out a pathetic cry, head lolling backward to expose his jugular to you. a stunned hush falls over the room. taerae’s jaw drops.

you glance behind you, three pairs of saucer-shaped eyes staring back at you. an impressed hao nods, holding out his hand for you to shake in respect. you do.

“wait, wait—... no, i—...” the boy underneath you pleads. “i didn’t—... that’s not what—.”

you squeeze your walls around him again, a strangled moan falling from his lips as he resumes his submissive state. “d’you want me to keep milking your cock or not, baby?”

“please,” he answers quickly, taking your hand and placing it gently at the base of his neck. “feels so good. want you to milk me dry.”

you oblige, thrilled to get exactly what you wanted out of him. you squeeze him tighter and tighter inside of you, grinding your hips softly against him— massaging softly up his neck with your hand until he’s begging for release.

“gonna cum,” matthew whines, hands moving down your waist before finally situating on your ass. “please, let me cum. (y/n). can’t take it anymore! gonna cum inside you if you don’t—.”

you hop off of him quickly, watching as his cock falls to his lower abdomen— cum covering his own skin as he sighs defeatedly through the ruined pleasure. his head falls to his hands, contemplating his life and where he went wrong.

“fuck, that was hot,” jiwoong says. you glance over, both him and hao now hard again through their pants.

you smile, entirely satisfied with how this turned out. you try to take a step back toward the desk, but your legs aren’t as steady as you thought. taerae stands up from the couch, running to keep you on your feet. jiwoong and hao both get up after him, helping you up onto the desk with concerned expressions.

“are you okay?” taerae asks, bending down to the floor and grabbing your shirt. he hands it to you and you put it on with what little strength you have left. 

jiwoong walks over to his bag, grabbing a water bottle from the side pocket and bringing it back to you. he pops open the top and places it in your hand. “you need to drink, okay? we don’t need you passing out and us all getting questioned at a hospital.”

you nod, taking a sip from the water bottle. hao grabs a tissue from the box on the corner desk, walking over to you and dabbing your forehead gently.

this is bliss, you think. but... how does it all end?

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

click above or here to choose from one of seven endings <3 jiwoong, hao, matthew, hanbin, taerae, group (poly), and group (revenge)

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Written in the Stars

Dieter Bravo X OFC ||| Completed Oneshot

Series Summary: Dieter and Natalia receive an unexpected phone call that results in an emotional journey and an expansion of their little family.

Word Count: 16.6K

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health and emotional trauma. Brief mentions of suicide/death, child neglect/mistreatment, and infertility. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. Daddy Dieter comes with his own warnings. This fic is meant to raise foster care and mental health awareness.

✨Note: This can be read as a standalone fic. However, it is an extra for Destiny & Deliverance, which takes a deeper dive into events that are mentioned in the Epilogue.

EXTRAS ||| TEASERS ||| VIBES ||| MAIN MASTERLIST

Chapter Quote: “I’ve always wanted a miniature version of myself.”  

It was 9:37 AM on a Monday morning. I had just sat down in the conference room with some of our foundation's biggest donors to discuss plans for a non-profit community and resource center geared toward providing counseling and mental health treatment for low-income families. My hope was to secure additional funding for the project. I was admittedly nervous because these donations would be the deciding factor on if this pursuit was even possible at the present time. We had just made it past the pleasantries when Dieter stuck his head through the door. He looked around wild-eyed as he took in the room before finally focusing on my surprised face that was staring back at him. He cleared his throat, before pushing the door open further and stepping inside, “Talia, I’m s-sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow you for a minute?”  

I spoke through a tight smile, “Dieter, I’m a little busy right now…”  

He was almost vibrating from anxiety as the look on his face shifted to something resembling…panic, “I know, I’m really sorry…b-but we have a minor emergency that needs attention…like now.”  

My brows furrowed as I took in his expression, “Okaaay…” I replied with confusion etched on my face as I turned toward our guests, “Please excuse us for a minute.” I gave them a nervous smile, moving to follow Dieter out into the hallway. As soon as the conference room door closed behind us, I puffed air out of my cheeks, then asked him what was going on. He rubbed both hands over his face before meeting my eyes. 

“I don’t even know…where to start…with this.” He let out a shaky breath before continuing.  

“Amber, from CDSS (California Department of Social Services), just called. You know Luca…that I mentor in the after-school program?” 

I nodded, completely unsure of where this was going.  

“His mom, she uhhh…” His brows drew down together and his face tightened, like he was fighting back emotion, “Her neighbor found her early this morning…she’s…gone. They need a temporary emergency foster for Luca.” 

I sucked in a stuttered breath. That certainly was not the news I was expecting. I shook my head in shock, “What does that mean? What are you saying?” 

Dieter rubbed at the back of his neck as he looked up at me through his lashes, “I know we never made a decision on potentially becoming foster parents, or even adopting…” 

Realization crossed my face, Dieter wanted us to be the emergency foster, “Dieter…this is a big fucking deal…where are we gonna put a kid? We don’t have any kid…stuff.” 

“I-I know it is…I mean, I’m sure he has his own stuff…” 

My face softened, realizing now that he really wanted this, “Dieter, this isn't a dog. It’s a whole fucking human…and not even a baby. He’s gonna have feelings, emotions, and…trauma. That’s a lot to take on.”  

He sighed, “I-I know…I don’t think there’s anyone more equipped to handle trauma than us though…and I’m the only person he knows. If we don’t take him, he’s gonna go to the foster facility or be placed with a random family. I can’t let that happen...he’ll be terrified.”  

I fisted my fingers through the top of my hair as I stared at him. “It’s temporary?” I asked. Dieter nodded. “Are you gonna be able to handle that? Will you be able to handle giving him up?” 

He nodded again, “As long as I go into it knowing that’s the plan, then yes…I c-can handle it.”  

I wasn’t completely convinced with that answer. This was one of the reasons we hadn’t gone forward with being foster parents. Dieter had been doing so well the last few years, but this was certainly something that could trigger a manic episode for him. He had a hard time with loss, but he did have an equally strong desire to help others in need.    

“And what if they can’t find another place for him to go? What if it’s not temporary?” 

He let out a controlled breath, “Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”  

I had to look away from him for a moment, my eyes roamed over the light gray colored walls of the hallway we stood in. Both of our emotions were running high, and I wasn’t really sure how to handle this being dumped on us out of the blue, especially right now.   

I rubbed at the tension forming at the bridge of my nose, “When do they need to know something?” 

Dieter grimaced, “Like, now.” 

“Fuck. Why did this have to happen now…during this meeting…” 

I reached to rub at my shoulder as my chest tightened, my heart now beating double time. I hadn’t had a panic attack in a very long time, but I suddenly felt like I was about to. Dieter immediately noticed and grabbed my hand, cradling it between both of his large ones and brought it to his lips. I could already feel my heart rate slowing at his touch. After all this time, he was still my anchor. 

“I mean, we don’t even have time to discuss it? Think it through?” I asked. 

He stared at me with his large brown eyes as he shook his head, “Unfortunately, no. They have to figure out what to do with him if we can’t take him.”  

I was reluctant as my mind raced through all the possible outcomes of this situation - trying to determine if this was something we could handle if it ended badly. We had been through so much already in our attempts to expand our family, I didn’t know how much more we could take if things took an unexpected turn.  

I had concerns about taking in a child that wasn’t our own. It was the reason we had stalled on starting the adoption process. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to form any type of meaningful bond having not given birth to them myself and I was afraid of being a bad parent because of that. Dieter and I had discussed all of these things, and he knew why I was hesitant. Dr. Rosenberg, our psychiatrist, had assured me that all of these feelings were normal when considering adopting, so that had relieved some of my anxiety. However, I was now worried the same thing would happen if we became foster parents. The fear was amplified knowing that the situation was temporary, making it even harder on us emotionally. I knew I would inevitably put-up walls to protect myself.  

I managed to push my feelings aside and to think of Dieter. I wanted to try for him because I knew that he had bonded with Luca since becoming part of his life. Dieter was right, Luca would be terrified being with strangers and I wasn’t sure I could live with that either. Especially knowing that we could keep it from happening. I had only met Luca briefly, in passing, but I had heard everything about him from Dieter. He sounded like a sweet kid.  

Thinking further, I realized this may only be for a few days. Surely Luca had other family that would be willing to take him in, right? We could handle a few days. However, if it stretched on beyond that, we might have a problem. Dieter interrupted my racing thoughts by placing his hands on my shoulders and dipping his head to meet my gaze, “Tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours.” 

I sighed, and peered up at him through my lashes, “You know what’s going on in my mind…we’ve already talked about it all…and…I worry about you, obviously.”  

He gave me a small smile, “Baby, I promise, I’ll be fine. I know I can do this.” 

My eyes roamed over his face as I read his expression, there was so much conviction behind his words this time that it erased any concerns I had for him. I nodded slowly, “Ok, make the call.” 

His soulful eyes lit up with a wide smile that broke across his face, “Really? You’re sure?”  

I inhaled deeply and nodded, now in shock over what we had just agreed to do. Dieter pulled me in for a tight hug, mumbling into the top of my hair that this was a good thing. When I stepped away, I suddenly remembered that I had a room full of very important people waiting for me.  

I huffed out a breath, “Fuck…what about this meeting?”  

Dieter’s eyes widened, “Umm, well…I think they just needed to know if we could take him right away. Go finish the meeting and we can head over to get him after. How long do you think it’ll be? Like an hour?” 

I nodded, “Yeah, unless they laugh me out of there before that.”  

His brow furrowed before he started rubbing the upper part of my arms, “Hey, relax. You’ve got this. I can come in and charm them if you need me to?” He gave me his goofy lop-sided grin.  

I snorted out a laugh. He always knew the right thing to say to lift my mood.  

“Hopefully, that won’t be necessary, but I’ll keep that in mind if I need reinforcements.”  

Dieter chuckled, leaning down to give me a quick kiss before I turned to go back into the conference room. Everyone immediately snapped to attention as I walked in, a few inquiring if everything was ok. The only response I could muster was, “I hope so,” followed by a nervous laugh. 

It wasn’t my best presentation. I was distracted by all the thoughts swirling in my head, which was making it hard for me to focus. I managed to make it through everything though. Everyone seemed excited about the project and pledged more funding than we were asking for, which was a huge relief. At least that was one less thing I could stop worrying about. After everyone said their goodbyes, they all filed out the door to walk toward the lobby. I followed behind them, until I reached Dieter’s office door to find him looking down at his phone as he paced around the room.  

Once Dieter realized I was standing in the doorway, his head snapped up. He looked at me with wide eyes, “Well?” 

I smiled, “We’re good. More than good actually.” 

He hissed out a low “Yeeesss” as he punched the air with a fisted hand. He moved toward me, grabbing my wrist to pull me towards him for a hug, “I told you it would go ok.”  

When he pulled away, we looked at each other nervously, knowing what our next task was. 

“What’s the plan?” I asked.  

Dieter gave me a tight smile, “Well, we go down to the CDSS offices and pick him up. Amber said he has some clothes with him and not much else. I guess we’ll have some paperwork to fill out when we get there too.”   

I let out a slow breath, “I still can’t believe we’re doing this…” 

He gave me a serious look, “This is a good thing and you’re gonna be great. Stop getting in your head about it. He’s gonna love you. I mean, he likes me for fuck’s sake. You’ll be fine.”  

I snorted, shaking my head at him as I walked next door to my office to grab my things. We left without telling anyone what was going on. It was too much to explain right now. We were silent as Dieter drove to our destination. He held my hand tightly the whole way, knowing that my mind was racing, my thoughts making me more anxious as we got closer.  

At some point in our journey to expand our family, Dieter had become the source of strength in our relationship, and I had become the one who struggled emotionally. I think a lot of it had to do with the hormone injections I had been taking but knowing that didn’t make it any easier. After a year of no success, I couldn’t do it anymore. The disappointment that came with each negative pregnancy test had become overwhelming and was slowly breaking me down. It had really left a scar on my heart. 

Dieter remained positive throughout the entire ordeal and took such good care of me. He was truly supportive, constantly checking in with me and making me talk through my emotions. We knew this was a possibility before choosing this path and worked to prepare ourselves for it, but that didn’t make it any less disappointing when things didn’t go how we had hoped. The residuals from that experience still hung over us when it came to the topic of expanding our family. I had a nagging fear that things were never going to go our way and I was having a hard time overcoming it. Even now, my brain was making a list of every possible negative outcome and how that could affect us individually and as a couple.  Deep down I knew that wasn’t the way to go into this, but I couldn’t help it.  

Before I knew it, we were pulling into the CDSS parking lot. I was in a daze as I exited the vehicle, quickly moving to Dieter’s side and lacing our fingers back together. When we entered the building, Dieter asked for Amber, then we were led to the room where she was sitting with Luca. She saw us approaching through the glass windows and came out into the hallway to meet us.  

She gave us a sad smile as she greeted us. Dieter wasted no time getting to business. “How’s he doing?” he asked.  

Amber sighed, “It’s hard to tell. I’m not sure if he fully understands what’s going on. He’s sad, but calm. He perked up some when I told him you were coming to pick him up. He had been asking for Dieter since he got here. That’s why I thought to call you guys first.”  

Dieter turned to look at the small boy who had a vacant look in his eyes and a frown on his lips. “Can I go to him?” he asked. 

Dieter’s gaze shifted to Amber, his eyes now pleading. She nodded, stepping aside so he could enter the room. Dieter inhaled deeply, squeezing my hand a little tighter before releasing it. I watched as he approached, kneeling down to Luca’s level as he talked to him in hushed tones. I could see Luca’s bottom lip trembling and his dark eyes rounding before he leaned in and buried his face into Dieter’s shoulder. Dieter rubbed at the back of the boy’s shaggy dark brown locks, hugging him tightly. I couldn’t see Dieter’s face, but I could tell by the tense set of his shoulders that he was fighting back his own emotions.  

Seeing Luca now took me back to the family photos littered throughout our home in Sonoma. He reminded me so much of a younger version of Dieter that it was almost scary. It also tugged at my heartstrings in a way that I didn’t expect. They had more in common than just looks, both having lost their mothers at a very young age. I didn’t know the details yet, but I assumed Luca experienced it in a traumatic way based on Dieter’s reaction. Seeing Dieter with the boy and how they interacted also had me feeling some kind of way. It was clear Luca trusted him and felt comfortable in his presence. It was enough to stifle the negative thoughts that had plagued my mind during the drive over.  

“Did Dieter tell you what happened?” Amber asked.  

I shook my head, still watching through the glass as I answered, “No, we didn’t get into the details. I was doing good just to wrap my head around this even happening.”  

She nodded, “I can understand that. I know it came out of nowhere.” She sighed before continuing, “The neighbor found her this morning. It’s looking like an intentional overdose. She had been like that for a couple days…at least. She did it with Luca there.” 

My head turned, shocked eyes finally meeting Amber’s. “He was with her like that for days?” 

She nodded, “As far as we know. He won’t really talk to us, so it’s a lot of speculation at this point.”  

I felt sick. It was worse than I thought. I couldn’t imagine what the kid was feeling, and I didn’t even know where to start in dealing with it, but Dieter did. He had been in a similar situation once. I felt a streak of panic go through me, worried that this would bring up emotions for Dieter that he might have a hard time with. I had to remind myself that he had successfully processed through that trauma and would hopefully be able to use it in a positive way now.  

Amber continued, “Based on the environment, I would say it wasn’t a good situation for the kid. The place was a mess, there was no food in the house, and he didn’t have a lot of belongings. It’s sad all around.” 

I had to find something to focus on before I got emotional, “He didn’t have a lot of belongings? What does he have?” 

Amber shrugged, “Not a whole lot. Some ill-fitting clothes, that’s about it. Oh, and a stuffed raccoon. He said “Mr. Dieter” got it for him at the zoo and wanted to bring it…but nothing else.”  

My eyes began to sting. Something about that bit of information nearly knocked me over the edge. I sucked in a sharp breath, needing to change the subject. “Do you know of any family yet?” I asked. 

She shook her head, “No, nothing yet. It doesn’t look like she kept in touch with anyone, so it’s gonna take some work to figure it out. We’ll look into the dad’s side as well, obviously…it doesn’t look like she was in touch with any of them either.  

I felt my stomach flutter at the idea that there appeared to be no one to take him. Was that some spark of hope? I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, but I did have a small urge to give this kid a better life.  

Amber drew me from my thoughts, “So, we’re gonna have you guys take him on as a non-relative extended family foster. You have an established relationship with him that can be proven, and it’s documented, so I don’t think it will be an issue. I can prove it’s the best plan of action for him currently while we go through our processes.  

I nodded, agreeing that it seemed like the way to go. She left me to go gather the paperwork for us to fill out. I turned back to the window, now watching Dieter and Luca talking quietly to each other. Luca was hugging his stuffed raccoon as Dieter brushed the boy's wavy hair out of his dark eyes. Luca had a small smile on his face from whatever Dieter had said to him. The moment seemed so private. I almost felt like I was intruding.  

After a few minutes, Dieter’s head turned, his eyes searching for me. When our gazes met, he motioned for me to join them. I was hesitant, not wanting to spoil their moment. I was also unsure of how to act toward this kid. I didn’t know him like Dieter did, and honestly, I felt like an outsider in this situation. I needed to suck it up, there was no avoiding it.  

I took a calming breath before entering the room, moving to sit next to Dieter. Dieter put his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side, “Luca, do you remember meeting Talia? She’s my wife…the one that keeps me in line.”  

Luca let out a quiet laugh, smiling at me as he nodded. “I remember,” he finally said.   

Dieter glanced over at me, “Luca and I were just talking about getting some lunch.” 

A sad smile formed on my lips, there was no telling when the last time was that this kid had a decent meal. “Yeah, we can do that. Luca, is there anywhere you like to eat? We can go wherever you want.” 

Luca shrugged, “I’m not really sure.” 

It hit me then, this kid probably hadn’t eaten out a lot. I felt like an idiot for asking.  

It was Dieter who spoke next, “How about McDonalds? You liked it that one time we went, right?” 

The boy's chocolate eyes lit up, much like Dieter’s often did when he was excited about something. Luca nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion.  

Amber entered the room with a file full of paperwork. I got to work on it while Dieter kept Luca distracted. There was so much information to fill out and releases to sign for background checks and home visits. It was a little overwhelming. Dieter could sense how I was feeling and made the effort to help calm me. As soon as I felt his hand resting on the small of my back, moving in small circles, I was able to relax and focus. He always knew what I needed and when.  

We were at CDSS for at least two hours, if not longer. I felt absolutely exhausted by the time we left, and I’m pretty sure Dieter and Luca were too. I was on information overload and starting to stress about everything that needed to be done. I was already making a mental list about things Luca would need for school and everyday use. I had never shopped for a boy his age, so it was putting me in a bit of a tizzy.  

As soon as we were in the car, Dieter reached for my hand, “Baby, relax. Everything on that running list in your head doesn’t have to be done today…and I can help you with some of it you know.”  

My lips tugged upward. He knew me too well. “I know…but you know I can’t help myself.”  

As Dieter drove toward the fast food restaurant, I noticed his eyes flicking to the rear view mirror every so often, I assumed to keep an eye on Luca. I too turned to glance back at the boy a few times. Every time I did so, he was staring out the window with his chin propped on his hand. He didn’t look particularly distressed or upset. I wasn’t sure if he had fully grasped what was happening yet. He seemed way too at ease, or maybe that was just because he was with Dieter?    

Once we got into the drive-thru line, Dieter turned to ask Luca what he wanted. He shrugged as his eyebrows rose and disappeared behind his shaggy hair.  

Dieter glanced at me with an arched eyebrow and pursed lips. My brows furrowed. I could already tell this was going to take some adjustments.  

“Chicken nuggets or a burger?” Dieter finally asked.  

“Nuggets.” Luca replied.  

“Chocolate or Vanilla shake?” Dieter followed up.  

“What’s better?” Luca asked.  

“Chocolate…Duh.” Dieter replied. 

Luca giggled, “Chocolate then.”  

I felt like they had had many conversations like this. I loved that Dieter knew how to communicate with Luca in a way that got answers and didn’t cause frustration. I had a feeling a lot of adults probably couldn’t handle that. Here I was taking mental notes for future reference.  

When we got to the drive-thru window, the worker immediately recognized Dieter. It caused a bit of a ruckus as several other workers came over and asked to take a selfie with him. Luca seemed completely unfazed by it. I wondered if this had happened often while he was out doing things with Dieter.  

Once we finally got our food and were on our way home, I looked over at Dieter, “I assume you haven’t told Elaine or Will yet?” 

He sucked air through his teeth, “Nope.”  

“Do you think paparazzi will be an issue?” 

Dieter shrugged, “I dunno. I think when kids are around, they tend to back off some. I hope anyway...”  

I took a deep breath and dropped my head backward onto the seat. I had a feeling this was going to be more complicated in ways that we couldn’t even fathom yet.  

After we got home, we all sat down at the dining room table and ate our incredibly unhealthy meal. Luca seemed in good spirits, but he mostly sat in silence as he took in his surroundings and devoured his food. He would still smile when Dieter said something funny to him and responded to questions, but that was about it. Afterward, Dieter got Luca’s two small bags out of the car, then we showed him to his room and adjoining bathroom. He seemed in awe over the fact that he would have his own bathroom and a TV in the bedroom. It made me sad that something so common and seemingly not that big of a deal to us, was for him.  

While Dieter worked to get Luca settled in, I raided our toiletry stash to get everything he might need for the time being. I felt so unprepared for this situation, and I hated that feeling. I needed to get everything sorted out as soon as possible or I wasn’t going to be able to relax over it.  

When I returned to Luca’s room, Dieter was getting him tucked into bed because he said he was sleepy and wanted to take a nap. I watched as Dieter showed him how to work the TV and asked what kind of shows he liked to watch. Luca shrugged, commenting that he didn’t have many channels, so he didn’t watch much TV. It was just another reminder of the less than ideal situation he had been in.  

I left them alone after that, allowing Luca time to decompress and fall asleep. To help settle my mind, I took a seat on a stool at the kitchen island and started making lists. Lists of things we needed to do, essentials that Luca would need, school supplies, it almost seemed never ending. In the middle of all that I was googling things because I didn’t know anything about what a boy his age would like. I was also creating carts and adding items for delivery. It was overwhelming to see it all in writing, but it did make me feel better.  

About a half hour later, I could hear Dieter on a call in the living room. It sounded like he was talking to Elaine, his publicist, and Will, his manager - filling them in on the events of the day. After he ended the call, he appeared behind me in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.  

“Will is gonna clear my schedule for the next couple of weeks so I can be around for Luca.” he said into the side of my neck.  

“He may not be here that long,” I reminded him.  

He shrugged, “Then you’ll just have to put up with me being around.” 

I chuckled, “Yes, because that’s just so terrible.” I said sarcastically.  

Dieter reached to grab the notepad sitting on the counter in front of me, looking it over before dropping it back in its place.  

“You don’t have to do all of this today, ya know. Let me help you.”  

I sighed, “Oh, don’t worry. You will be. He’s probably gonna need some more clothes…that might have to be your area. I’ve already got some carts going online for the rest of it.” 

Dieter moved to my side so he could look at me directly, one arm still around my back, “Hey, you’re doing great. The kid likes you, so you can relax.” 

I gave him a weak smile, “How do you know?” 

Dieter smirked, “He said you’re nice…and have pretty hair.”  

I snorted, “He didn’t say that.”  

Dieter nodded, “I swear he did…” He was quiet for a beat, his eyes roaming my face. “How are you feeling about things?” 

I inhaled deeply and held it for a moment, “I don’t know…definitely overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done.” 

His eyes narrowed, “You know that’s not what I’m asking.” 

He’s too damn intuitive, I was totally avoiding the real conversation. “I’m not sure, honestly.” 

“Baby, you need to be open with me. I know what you’re doing…don’t shut yourself off.” 

I puffed air out of my cheeks, “Ok, fine… I feel a little disconnected from it…like an outsider. It’s awkward because you already have a bond with him and I’m not really sure how to be part of that. I know he isn’t as comfortable around me either. I can sense it.” 

Dieter pulled me into a hug, “He’s a shy kid on the best day. After you spend a little time with him, he’ll open up. You’ve gotta open up some too though.” 

I nodded. I knew it was true, but also knowing that this was meant to be temporary was making it hard for me to do that. After seeing Luca and what his life must have been like made me realize I could actually get attached to this kid. Even though I had been worried about being able to bond with a child that wasn’t my own, I could feel my maternal instincts kicking in.  

Luca slept most of the day, which left us wondering what exactly he had been through that left him so tired. Dieter and I were in the midst of cooking dinner, trying to decide if we should wake him when he came shuffling down the hallway.  

“Hey hombrecito (little man), you ready to eat some dinner?” Dieter asked. 

Luca nodded as he rubbed at his eyes.  

“Let’s go wash up while Talia gets everything ready, ok?” 

Dieter put his hand on Luca’s shoulder and led him toward the bathroom to wash his hands. By the time they got back dinner was ready. Dieter helped Luca make a small plate while he made his own. Then we all sat down to eat. I noticed Luca didn’t get much food and finished eating quickly.  

“Luca, do you want any more? You didn’t eat much,” I said.  

He looked at me with wide eyes, “Is that allowed?”  

I could feel my heart shattering in my chest as Dieter and I shared a knowing look. It took everything in me to keep the tears at bay as I turned my attention back to the boy.  

“It’s absolutely allowed. You can have as much as you want.”  

His chocolate eyes lit up before murmuring out a quiet “thank you” as he stood from his seat to go refill his plate. Dieter reached over and gave my hand a squeeze before turning his attention to Luca, realizing the boy was too short to reach everything. He moved to help him. I took a moment to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I could already tell this whole experience was going to have a huge impact on me, emotionally.     

After dinner, we took the time to show Luca around the rest of the house and officially introduce him to Moony, our kangaroo eared dog, and our four foster pups. Dieter had recently converted one of the spare rooms downstairs into a “dog room” for the pups to hang out in while we were out of the house. It was the most ostentatious dog space I had ever seen. He had gone so far as to install a TV (on their level) and get a Dog TV subscription for them. They each had their own little dog houses and beds. He had even found a place to buy dog furniture. He finished it all off with wireless cameras that allowed him to talk to the dogs when he wasn’t in the room. It was beyond extra, but typical Dieter.  

Luca was in awe of the space and thought the mini dog couches were the funniest thing. He and Dieter went to sit on the floor in the middle of the room to get acquainted with everyone. The foster dogs were just happy to see people. Moony held back, slinking around the room sniffing in Luca’s direction. He was more cautious of the new person in his house, but he eventually approached the boy for pets. Within minutes, he was in Luca’s lap being cuddled, both of them smiling as they nuzzled against each other. I could already tell they were going to be fast friends.  

In the days that followed, Luca continued to remain quiet and reserved. However, I could tell he was beginning to relax as he got used to his surroundings and new routine. He was at his happiest when spending time with Dieter. Dieter had been spending all of his free time with the boy - painting, playing video games, playing with Moony. Anything he could think of doing that might distract Luca from the reality of his situation. I could often hear them laughing amongst themselves. It warmed my heart to see Dieter take on this new role and how he thrived in it.  

Dieter was so good with Luca, and I knew a lot of it had to do with their commonalities. Dieter had lost his mother under equally devastating circumstances, which helped him relate to Luca in a way that I would never be able to. It further solidified the bond they had already built before this life changing incident happened to Luca. It did make me worry about how things would go if Luca was unable to stay with us. I worried if Dieter could handle it.  

The conditions left me torn in how I wanted to handle things as well. I was still feeling like an outsider in this situation and unsure of how to navigate the changing dynamics in our household. I wanted to engage and be part of the bond they were building, but I also didn’t want to get too close in the event the situation was indeed temporary, as we were told it would be. I knew I would need to be strong for Dieter if Luca wasn’t able to stay with us. He said he could handle it but seeing them together didn’t give me a lot of confidence in his belief.  

As we got into the second week of having Luca with us, I noticed he seemed to be getting more curious about me. During the first instance, we were all sitting around the living room watching TV as I folded laundry. Luca was on the floor, playing with Moony. Once Moony ran out of energy and laid down for a nap, I realized Luca was watching me fold. After several minutes, he came closer, sitting in front of me.  

“Can I help?” he asked timidly.  

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. He was too adorable. I glanced toward Dieter, who was watching us with a smirk on his face.  

“Better watch it hombrecito (little man), she’s super picky about the folding.”  

Luca’s eyes widened, like he couldn’t believe Dieter said such a thing.  

I snorted, “Just because I don’t wad them up and stuff them in a random drawer doesn’t mean I’m picky.” I gave Luca a conspiratorial look, “He’s just messy. Don’t listen to him.”  

Luca laughed, “Yeah, he kinda is.”  

Dieter scoffed dramatically and I cackled. Luca’s comment had taken me off guard.  

“I see how it is, you two are ganging up on me now. I don’t like this,” Dieter said. 

Luca and I laughed, eventually settling down as I continued folding. Luca watched me fold a couple more items, then reached into the basket to grab a piece of clothing and got to work. He held it up to ask me if it was correct. He had folded it perfectly on the first try. Dieter and I both praised him, noting that he already folds better than Dieter, which led to more giggles from the boy as he worked on the next item. We worked in silence after that, listening to whatever TV show Dieter was watching. I noticed Dieter wasn’t paying much attention to the show though. Instead, he was watching Luca and I with a small smile on his lips. Once all of the laundry was folded, Luca offered to put his own clothes away himself. When he returned, he looked smug, seemingly proud of himself as he sat down next to Dieter on the couch. Dieter pulled the boy into his side and mussed his hair, thanking him for helping me.  

In the days that followed, Luca began checking in with me to see if he could help with anything. I started giving him small tasks like sweeping, vacuuming, helping carry the dishes to the kitchen, or pulling ingredients for meals. It was his way of trying to connect with me, and I accepted it. 

Toward the end of the second week, Dieter and I were lying in bed, barely awake after having spent the day clothes shopping with Luca. We were both absolutely spent from trying to get things sorted for Luca and caring for him throughout the week on top of dealing with home checks, interviews with CDSS, and getting our background checks completed. We had been so engrossed with taking care of the boy that we really hadn’t made any time for each other. Our only time together was at night, but we had been so tired since Luca came into our care that we hadn’t even taken advantage of it. On this night, we managed to get in some cuddle time before either of us fell asleep. After crawling into bed behind me and pulling me flush against his body, Dieter took the opportunity to check in with me to see how I was feeling about things.  

“It seems like Luca is warming up to you a bit…” 

I smiled, “Yeah, I think so too. His personality is starting to shine through a little more. I can tell he’s been spending too much time with you.”  

Dieter chuckled, “I’ve always wanted a miniature version of myself.”  

I snorted and nudged my shoulder backward against his, “You’re so ridiculous.”   

He laughed, but then it trailed off into a moment of silence before he spoke again. 

“Serious question…how are you feeling about things now? Better I hope?”  

I sighed. I was still holding back some, and I knew it. “I’m still a little apprehensive about things. I’m trying not to get attached to this kid. This was never meant to be permanent, remember?”  

Dieter went quiet for a beat, “That may be true, but that doesn’t mean we can’t care for him like he’s ours…show him what a healthy family dynamic is like. He’s never had that, and I know there’s a possibility that he may never get it again if he leaves us. I want him to have at least one positive experience to look back on, even if it does turn out to be a short one.” 

Dieter always had an interesting take on things like this. I knew it was rooted in his childhood experiences and everything he had gone through. I hadn’t thought about it like that and couldn’t disagree, “I hadn’t considered that view on things.” I finally admitted to him.  

I turned to face him, “You have such a good heart. I can’t disagree with that assessment and…I’ll try to do better by him.”  

Dieter leaned down and gently kissed me on the lips, before pulling back. “You have a good heart too, you just have to learn to open it up a little more.” 

I chuckled, “Yeah, I guess so.”  

His hand gently brushed my hair back, “Maybe you two should go do something fun on your own. I know he’s been wanting to go to the Aquarium.” 

My eyes widened, “Dieter, I dunno about that. It helps to have you as a buffer.”  

He snickered, “You’ll be fine. The kid likes you and I’m certain you won’t be able to get him to shut up if he’s looking at animals. He gets so excited; he can’t help but to ask a million questions. You should take him on Saturday. I’ve got some work stuff I need to take care of.” 

My brows furrowed, “Work stuff? What work stuff?”  

He was fighting a smile now, “I have some scripts I need to look over.” 

I pursed my lips, “For some reason, I don’t believe you.”  

He smiled against my lips, kissing me between words, “It’s late. Time for bed bella durmiente (sleeping beauty).”  

I scoffed as he snuggled in next to me, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Change the subject. I’m on to you.”  

He laughed against my shoulder, “I’d like you to be, but I’m too fucking tired to be able to do anything about it.”  

I snorted, “Again, you’re ridiculous. Good night.”  

After giving him a quick kiss on the forehead, we wrapped up in each other and fell asleep quickly. 

That Saturday, I took Luca to the Aquarium as Dieter suggested. There was a comfortable silence between us during the ride there, however his bright-eyed look told me he was excited. It didn’t take long once we were inside for him to start peppering me with questions as Dieter said he would. He was an inquisitive little thing that had a serious thirst for knowledge. He was enthusiastic but also very well behaved. He seemed mature for his age when compared to the other kids running amok around the facility. Realizing that made me appreciate him a little more.  

Luca took the time to sit and observe the animals, studying each of them carefully. Whereas, most of the other kids gave them a quick glance, then were ready to move on to the next thing. Something about his curiosity made my heart flutter. Was it pride? I realized it was something that he and I had in common. I made a mental note of that for future reference.  

It seemed like hardly any time had passed as we slowly moved between exhibits, chatting about the animals. As the morning went on, I could tell he was getting more comfortable with me. He had started to gently tug on my hand to get my attention or loop his arm around mine and lean into my side as he pointed things out.  

By the time we reached the halfway point where the little cafe was, it was well past lunch time. Luca reluctantly agreed to take a break so we could grab a bite to eat. As we waited in line, I asked him what he wanted. He gave me that same wide-eyed stare he gave Dieter at McDonalds the first day. I gave him a few options off the menu as I had watched Dieter do. We finally narrowed it down to loaded nachos and a chocolate chip cookie.  

Luca got quiet after we were seated to eat. He didn’t seem to have a problem with companionable silence. He was a lot like Dieter and me in that way. It never failed to astonish me how well this kid fit into our lives. It was like the ‘powers that be’ had taken a piece from each of us to make him and put him in our path. Luca drew me out of my thoughts with a question that stunned me.  

“Are you and Mr. Dieter gonna be my new parents?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

I nearly choked on the chip I had just stuck in my mouth. I wasn’t expecting this type of conversation today. I took a quick drink of my soda, “Did Dieter tell you that?” 

He shook his head, “No. I didn’t ask him because Mr. Dieter says you’re the boss.” 

I chuckled, “Well, at least he knows his place.” I took a deep breath, my brows furrowing as I thought through a response.  

“Is that something you would want to happen? For us to be your parents.”  

He nodded enthusiastically as he chomped down on a nacho.  

I gave him a sad smile, “You understand what that would mean right? That you would stay with us, forever.” 

He nodded again, “I like staying with you. You’re nice to me.”  

Of all the reasons he could have given, it was because we’re nice to him. My heart was breaking as I considered what those words meant. Was his mother not nice to him? I knew they were low income and struggled with basic needs, but this added a whole other layer to things.  

I could feel the tears beginning to pool in my eyes and I had to work to fight them back.  

I gave him another sad smile, “The decision isn’t up to us, bud…but I promise you…if it’s an option, we’ll do everything in our power to make it happen. If that’s what you truly want.”  

He was smiling now, “It is. I would like that.” 

My heart was about to beat out of my chest. I couldn't believe he had just asked me that. He obviously felt comfortable enough around me now to bring it up, which made me feel a whole other set of emotions. I was drawn from my thoughts by my buzzing phone in my pocket. It was from Dieter. 

Dieter: Hey! How’s it going? 

I smiled to myself. It was sweet that he was checking in. I glanced up at Luca who was leaning back in his seat, with his hand on his belly like he had eaten too much.  

“Dieter’s asking how it’s going. You wanna send him a picture?” 

Luca smiled and nodded before standing to walk over next to my seat. He leaned in against me and gave a toothy smile while I snapped a selfie of us. I showed him the picture and he gave a nod of approval as he moved back to his seat. With a smile, I sent it to Dieter. He started typing a response immediately. 

Dieter: Wow. Looks like some progress. You guys having fun?  

Me: Yeah, we are. Just finishing up with a late lunch. You were right, he has a lot of questions. 

Dieter: LOL! I’ll see you guys in a few hours then. I expect you still have a while. Let me know when you're heading this way and I’ll get dinner started. - te amo (love you) 

Me: Sounds like a plan. - te amo 

Luca and I went back to viewing the exhibits after that. He seemed to have a little more pep in his step during the second half of the day and he was still just as inquisitive about everything. After another hour and a half, we finally made it to the gift shop.  

“Go find yourself something to take home,” I said to him. His eyes widened at my words. He seemed very unsure of himself.  

“Like what?” he finally asked.  

“Whatever you wanna get.” He pursed his lips, still seeming unsure. “A toy maybe? I’m not sure what you like. You’re allowed to wander around and look if you want.”   

He shuffled down the nearest aisle, slowly scanning the shelves. He eventually ended up standing in front of a wall of books and began thumbing through them. He finally settled on an age-appropriate book on prehistoric fish. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that he chose a book, but I was. He walked over and shyly handed it to me.  

“Is this one, ok?” he asked quietly. 

I gave him a bright smile and nodded, “Of course! Do you like to read?”  

He shrugged, “I’m not that good yet, but I like books.” 

I ruffled his hair, “Don’t worry, we’ll have you reading everything in no time. Dieter and I love to read too.” 

He gave me a toothy grin as I leaned down to whisper to him conspiratorially, “Ya know, I don’t count books as a strike against your purchase limit. Go grab you something else.” 

His eyes widened, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing before he scurried off to find another item. I followed behind him, watching as he continued to take everything in and narrow down his choice. He finally settled on a stuffed otter. We had spent a lot of time watching them in their enclosure, so I wasn’t shocked. They seemed to be one of his favorites. We checked out after that, then made our way to the car.  

As I was sitting in traffic, I could see Luca in my rear view mirror, completely engrossed in his book with his otter hugged under one arm. His chubby little fingers were rubbing at its soft fuzzy fabric in between turning pages. Something about it was absolutely tugging at my heart. I wondered if he even had any books of his own before, or if perhaps he just borrowed them from school.  

“Luca, have you ever been to a bookstore?” I asked suddenly.  

His rounded chocolate eyes met mine in the mirror. His brows furrowed slightly, seeming confused by my question for a moment before answering, “No ma’am. I haven't.”  

A smile tugged at my lips, “Would you like to?”  

He nodded, fighting a smile, “That would be fun.”  

Minutes later, I turned into the local Barnes and Noble parking lot. I was suddenly feeling giddy to share this experience with him because I knew this would be a hobby we could bond over.  

When we entered the store, I grabbed a handheld basket. He gave me a questioning look, “Let’s fill this basket up, kid.”  

He snorted, following closely behind me until I found the correct aisle for him to browse. He seemed to have a thing about dinosaurs, gravitating toward those books first. After flipping through a couple, he eyed me cautiously as he slid one into the basket I was holding. I quirked an eyebrow at the one still in his hand, “You want that one too?”  

He chewed on his lip for a moment before slowly sliding that one into the basket. He looked like he was waiting for me to change my mind. Instead, I gave him a warm smile and encouraged him to keep looking. As we moved down the aisle, I pointed out some of my favorites like Narnia, Goosebumps, and Percy Jackson. He seemed a little intimidated by the chapter books at first, but after I promised that Dieter and I would read those with him it seemed to change his view on it a little and he happily added those to the basket as well. Luca and I got lost in the books together. Not realizing how much time had passed until I got another text from Dieter. 

Dieter: You two doing ok? Figured you’d be on your way back by now.  

Me: Yes! Sorry. We stopped off at the bookstore. About to check out.  

Dieter: K. I’ll get dinner started. See you soon. 😘 (kiss emoji)  

I sighed, “Looks like we’re being summoned for dinner. I think this is probably a good start. You ready to head home?”  

Luca gave me a wide smile and nodded. We made our way to the checkout counter, where I pointed out the bookmarks and told him to grab a couple for his chapter books. He quickly settled on two 3D hologram bookmarks, one with raccoons and the other with a shark. He slid them onto the counter as the cashier began to ring up our purchases. He stood beside me quietly, looking at all the little trinkets and magazines lining the bottom of the counter.  

I gave him a quick smile before glancing up at the cashier, who was watching us intently with a smile on her face.  

“Your son is sweet. He seems to really love books.”’ 

I shook my head slightly, unsure of how to respond to her comment, but also feeling a little choked up at the thought. My eyes darted to Luca who didn’t seem to have noticed the comment. I settled for a smile and nod, “Yeah, he really does.”  

We left the bookstore with several bags full. Both of us were laughing at the ridiculousness of it as we loaded them into the car. He was giggling as he got settled into his seat. It was the same giggle I often heard when he and Dieter were spending time together. It caused a bloom of feelings that I couldn’t describe. Feelings that made me warm and happy. Feelings that I didn’t want to let go.  

A short time later, we pulled into the garage. Luca helped me unload our spoils from the day and lug them into the house. Dieter was standing in front of the stove with a confused look on his face as he watched us carry the bags toward Luca’s room.  

When I returned to the kitchen, he switched off the stove eye and turned to me, “Sooo, what was all that?” 

I smiled, “Books. I need you to go buy a bookshelf for Luca tomorrow. Preferably a full sized one.”  

He chuckled, sliding his hands onto my hips as he leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the mouth, “Thank you for today. Thank you for trying. I know this isn’t easy on you.”  

I smiled against his lips, “Strangely enough, it’s not as hard as I thought it would be. Thank you for pushing me.” 

Luca came wandering into the kitchen, swinging his arms dramatically as he walked. He stopped in front of us, peering up at me with a shy smile, “Mrs. Talia, will you read with me after dinner?”  

I could feel Dieter smiling against my cheek as I turned to look at the boy, “Of course! We both will. How about you and Dieter go pick out a book while I finish up with dinner?”  

Luca smiled brightly, grabbing Dieter’s hand and tugging on it, “You heard her. Let’s go!” 

Dieter snorted, giving me one last quick kiss on the cheek before Luca pulled him down the hallway. I smiled to myself, suddenly feeling overly emotional. A few tears slipped out as I turned my back toward the direction they had gone. Things were going to be different after today. I knew that. I could already feel it. I didn’t want to give this kid up. I wanted him to be ours. Dieter hadn’t explicitly said that, but I could tell he felt the same way. If they did find family to take him in, letting him go was going to be hard on the both of us. I had been worried about Dieter being able to handle it, but now I questioned if I could.  

The following Monday, Luca was set to return to school. He seemed totally fine with it, but I was a bundle of nerves. I was worried it would be too much for him, too soon, even though he had been handling things without issue. When the alarm went off, Dieter moved to get out of bed, but I stopped him.  

“You sleep in, I’ll take him. I have a million questions about his paperwork. It’ll be easier if I handle it.”  

Dieter snuggled into my side, burying his face in my neck, “You sure? I can still go with you.”  

I turned to face him, scratching at his graying stubble and nuzzling against his nose, “It’s fine, you were up late with your scripts. Get some sleep. I’ll be back shortly.”  

I leaned in to give him a quick kiss, but he deepened it as his hand gripped my hip and pulled me tightly against the hardness in his boxer briefs.  

I smiled against his lips, “Mmmm, hold that thought until I get back.”  

He whined, giving me one last peck before pulling away, “Ok, fine. Hurry back to me, mi amor (my love).”  

His fingers trailed after me as I rolled out of bed, he had his infamous sad puppy look on his face before he buried himself under the blanket to fall back to sleep. I threw on my robe and wandered down the hallway to make sure Luca was awake. The sound of the shower coming from his bathroom told me he was. I headed back to the master suite to make myself presentable while Dieter snored away under his pile of blankets and pillows. Just as I opened the bedroom door to head toward the kitchen to make breakfast, Moony came bursting in. I had to move quickly to grab him before he jumped on the bed and woke Dieter. After shooing him into the hallway, I followed, closing the door behind me. Moony quickly disappeared into Luca’s room, leaving me in peace to make a quick breakfast.  

I was plating our scrambled egg and cheese sandwiches when Luca came skipping into the kitchen with Moony on his heels. He seemed excited to be going back to school, which surprised me. He was eager and ate quickly, occasionally sneaking small pieces of egg to Moony under the table. A habit he had obviously picked up from Dieter.  

Minutes later, we gathered our things, put Moony downstairs in the dog room with the rest of the crew, and headed toward the school. I didn’t really have questions about his paperwork. I might have over dramatized that some. I did, however, want to get as much information as I could about Luca. I knew I would have a ton of questions if given the chance to talk to someone.  

Luckily, Luca’s teacher, Miss Katie, was in the front office waiting for us to arrive. After introducing herself, she sent Luca ahead to class so we could chat.  

She gave me a warm smile as we watched Luca walk down the hallway toward his room, “I was delighted to hear that you and Dieter would be taking Luca in. He’s improved so much since he started spending time with Dieter in the mentoring program. I’m sure he’ll continue to do so now.”   

I shrugged, “Yeah, well, it may not be permanent. We’re still waiting to hear back about other family members.”  

She nodded solemnly, “I didn’t get the impression he had a lot of family.”  

My lips set into a tight line, “Can I ask you about his home life? I don’t know much about it.” 

She pursed her lips, “I mean, you’re his legal guardian now. So, I don’t see why not.”  

She paused briefly and sighed, “I don’t know much, but I don’t think it was good. They were low income…most weekends I sent food home with him to make sure he was covered. I’ve taken him to get a haircut a few times too. He often wore the same clothes several days in a row and came in dirty.”  

Her brows furrowed as she met my gaze, “It just seemed like his mom wasn’t very engaged with him. I always had a hard time getting her to respond, turn in paperwork, or come to meetings. When she did, she seemed distracted and honestly, sort of out of it. She would often leave him at school late. I’m not sure if it was because of work like she said or if she just forgot to get him. From what I’ve heard, she sort of went off the deep end after her husband died in that car accident. I don’t think she was very…present in his life if I’m being honest.” 

Hearing this made my heart ache. How had he turned out to be such a good kid through all that?  

Miss Katie was smiling now, “But like I said, the mentoring program did wonders for him. He really began to come out of his shell after starting that. I know Dieter spent extra time with him…to help with homework. I obviously couldn’t share any details with Dieter at the time, but based on his line of questioning, I think he knew Luca didn’t have a good home life. He always wanted to help with him any way he could.”   

I had to fight back tears. Dieter had been there for this kid more than I had realized. I should have been more involved early on, but it was his thing. I didn’t want to overstep. I never would have guessed this would be the result.  

“Well, while Luca is with us, we’ll definitely be involved with his academics. He’s a smart kid and has a serious thirst for knowledge. It’ll be a top priority. I also just wanna make sure he’s ok. He seems to be handling things too well. I’m not sure if he fully understands what’s happened.”  

She sucked in a deep breath, seeming to think through her response. “At his age, it’s hard to say. I think he probably has an understanding of what death is. What they usually don’t understand is the finality of it…that it’s forever…but, with his father having passed, he may understand it better than most kids his age.”  

I chewed on my lower lip and nodded in understanding, “Is it normal that he seems unbothered by it though? He hasn’t even really mentioned his mother at all…directly anyway.” 

She shrugged, “I’m not sure. Maybe he didn’t really have a strong bond with her. If that’s the case, then maybe not. You never know how trauma will affect a child. Has he seen a therapist or anything like that yet?”  

I shook my head, “Not yet. I’ve been in contact with someone we work closely with. She suggested we give him a little time to adjust before bringing him in…make sure he’s comfortable and feeling safe so that he’s more likely to trust the process and open up.”  

She gave me a warm smile, “Well, he couldn’t have been put with anyone better to help him through it. You guys are doing amazing work. I’m legitimately happy for him…and honestly, I hope he gets to stay with you.” 

I cleared my throat, fighting the tears that were threatening to fill my eyes, “Yeah, me too.” I huffed out a laugh, “Well, I’ll let you get back to work. Thank you for chatting with me.” I paused, digging in my bag, “I almost forgot, here’s his updated paperwork. Please call me if he needs anything…or if you do.”  

We said our goodbyes after that. As I got back into the car to head home, I couldn’t help wondering about Luca’s relationship with his mother. It made me sad for him, that he didn’t seem to have had a nurturing figure in his life. More than ever, I wanted to give that to him. I wanted him to have a normal, happy, and loving family. It wasn’t up to me though. I was powerless to make it happen. I had to rely on others to make the choice and I hated it.  

By the time I pulled into the garage, I was feeling needy. I needed to be loved and comforted by my husband. I wanted to feel connected to him. He was the only one that could settle the storm brewing in my thoughts. All of the ‘what ifs’ and possible outcomes were weighing heavily on my heart, causing my chest to feel tight. It was a level of anxiety that I hadn't experienced in some time.  

When I got inside, I went straight to the bedroom. I found Dieter sprawled out on his back in nothing but his black boxer briefs, the covers now shoved off to the side. He was snoring lightly, completely unaware that I had returned. After undressing down to my bra and panties, I crawled into the bed beside him, propping myself up on one elbow and draping my other arm and a leg across him. My hand roamed the width of his broad chest, stirring him from his slumber.  

His eyes blinked open slowly as he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips.  

“Did you get everything figured out?” he asked with a gravelly tone.  

I nodded, not trusting my voice as I moved my hand to cup his cheek. His brows furrowed, his eyes now studying my face, “Everything ok?” 

My lips set into a tight line as I nodded again. I let out a stuttered breath, “I just…need you...I need you to calm my mind.”  

I didn’t have to say another word. Dieter knew what I needed. He knew how to get me out of my head before I spiraled to a place that wasn’t healthy for me to be. The connection that scared us so much in the beginning was now our refuge. It’s how we communicated and grounded each other when things got tough. We had perfected it into our own brand of therapy.  

He leaned forward, kissing me deeply. His hands roaming my body as he gently turned us so that I was on my back allowing him to settle between my thighs.  

His lips moved downward, his breath heating my neck as he spoke against it, “Concéntrate en mí, mi luz. Déjalo ir.” (Focus on me, my light. Let it go.)  

His fingertips trailed down between my breast, my stomach, then dipped under the black lace of my panties, finding their destination at the apex of my thighs and dipping into the slick. His motions elicited a soft moan from my lips, making me forget my worries for the time being. He had me coming undone in no time as his thumb worked the sensitive nub and his fingers curled inside of me, hitting the right spot that he knew so well. I arched up into him, grinding into his hand as he nuzzled his nose against mine, “That’s it baby. Take what you need from me.”  

His darkened eyes peered down into mine, watching the waves of pleasure wash over me as my jaw fell slack and I trembled beneath him. He kissed me sweetly, slowing his movements and allowing me to come down. As I worked to catch my breath, he sat back on his heels, sliding my panties down my legs as he scooted backwards off the bed. He stood to remove his boxer briefs before crawling back to the center of the bed, tucking his thighs underneath mine, then pulling me up to straddle his hips.  

We sat there for a moment, just looking at each other. My fingers combed through his messy curls as his hands explored my body, settling at the center of my back to unhook my bra. I quickly discarded it on the floor with the rest of our clothes. He hugged me tightly against his chest, our mouths now tasting each other as I moved against his hard length. His lips eventually moved downward as I rose up on my knees, sucking one nipple into his mouth with his hand massaging the other. I moaned into the top of his hair as I hugged him against me, feeling the heat of his mouth going straight to my core.  

His hand freed my breast, moving downward to encircle his hard length to notch the head at my entrance. Our gazes locked as I slowly sank down onto him. His jaw went slack once I began rocking my hips and peppering his face with kisses and whispers of “I love you”. He nuzzled his nose against mine, staring deeply into my eyes with an occasional sensual kiss thrown in. This was our therapy, reconnecting with one another in the most intimate way we knew how. Grounding ourselves and mentally resetting to take on our worries together.  

We went on like that for some time, our sweat covered bodies moving as one until we crashed over the edge together. I tightened around him as stars formed behind my eyelids. Dieter whimpered loudly into my mouth as he spilled into me for the first time in two weeks. It had been two weeks too long. We hadn’t gone that long without being intimate since before we were married, which only seemed to make things more intense than normal.  

We sat in silence, trying to catch our breath as we let physical touch do the talking for us. Our hands running through each other’s hair and sliding across damp skin. Dieter’s head lolled backwards, now looking at me with a dazed smile.  

“I missed you. Let’s not wait that long again. I don’t care if I’m half dead at bedtime, make me do it anyway.”  

I chuckled, “Noted. Hopefully it’ll slow down now that things are settled some.”  

He nodded before kissing me deeply, pulling away to rest his forehead against mine.  

“You wanna tell me what’s going on now? It’s talk time,” he said in a low voice. 

I smiled and leaned back slightly, scratching at his scalp as my eyes took in his beautiful face - his chocolate eyes with the newly formed wrinkles around them from his constant smiles, his curved nose that I loved nuzzling against mine, the grays in his scruffy beard that sent me into sensory overload when he rubbed them against my inner thighs. This was my medication. Him. He was the only thing I needed to be calm and talk through my feelings.  

I sighed, “I don’t wanna let him go, Dieter. I want him to be ours…and I’m not sure how I’ll handle any other outcome.”  

I felt his arms tighten around me, “I know, baby. Me too. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll get through it together. Just like we do everything else…” 

The tears were sliding down my cheeks now. His thumbs reached to wipe them away. I sniffled, “You know what he asked me the other day while we were at the aquarium?”  

He shook his head. I felt a smile tugging at my lips from the memory, “He asked if we’re gonna be his new parents. He said that’s what he wanted.” 

Dieter’s eyes pooled with tears, “He really said that?”  

I nodded, “He did. I told him that it’s not up to us, but if that’s what he wanted, we would try if given the option. I didn’t think you would object to that.”  

The tears were sliding down his cheeks now, but he was smiling. It was happy tears. He sighed, “I can’t help thinking that it’s all gonna work out. It’s just a feeling I have.” 

I reached up to wipe his tears away, “Do you ever wonder if all of this was meant to be? If our path was written in the stars from the beginning?” I inhaled a deep breath before continuing, “I mean…at what point does a series of coincidences become something more? We’re we destined to find each other and go through everything that we went through just so Luca could be in our lives? He probably wouldn’t be if things had happened differently. If we hadn't stayed in the same hotel in New York, or if you had lived just a few minutes farther away from me and I didn’t make it to you in time that night?” 

He huffed out a laugh, “I don’t know about any of that…but if our story is written for us…I wouldn’t change a thing because it brought us together. If that was the way it was meant to happen, then so be it…fuck free choice. I have to believe this is gonna go in our favor because everything else has, even if it was a hard path. It just feels right.” 

I gave him a sad smile, “I wish I could be as positive as you are about it, but I can’t get my hopes up. It’ll just crush me that much more if it doesn’t work out.”  

He kissed my forehead, “It’s ok, I have enough positivity about this for the both of us.” He pulled me tight against his chest, dipping his head to kiss my shoulder. “Can we stay like this until pickup time? I have two weeks to make up for.”  

I snorted out a laugh against his neck, “You’re so ridiculous.”  

He shrugged, “I’m sorry, my dick said he’s not done yet.”  

It was then that I realized he was already getting hard again, still nestled inside of me. I leaned back to look at him and was met with a mischievous smile.  

“Jesus Christ, Dieter! Already? Did you take Viagra or something?” I couldn’t hold back my laugh.  

He scoffed, looking offended at my suggestion. “I don’t need that shit. You know better. It's all me, baby. You do it to me.” He buried his face in my neck before inhaling deeply and groaning, “Fuck…you smell amazing. Why does that do things to me?”  

He fell over onto the bed, pulling me with him and setting off a fit of giggles which led into a rather playful round two.  

We did end up spending most of the morning in bed, eventually showering together, then having a late lunch. We both felt reinvigorated and ready to deal with whatever came our way. We needed that time together - time to regroup and share our emotions.  

I realized the disconnected feeling that I was having about the situation had now subsided. I was almost afraid to admit it, but as we picked Luca up from school that day, it felt like we were truly learning to be a family. It still scared me, but part of me also welcomed it. Luca was excited to see both of us there at pickup. The bright smile he gave us as he approached the car was completely worth it.  

We settled into a routine after that. Dieter and I would take turns dropping him off and picking him up from school. Sometimes we would both go when we could. Each night we would help him with his homework then spend some time reading before bed. I could see an improvement in his reading ability over the following weeks. His teacher was also reporting that he was having major improvements with his grades and seemed to be doing well emotionally. On the days he didn’t have a lot of homework, Dieter would teach him Spanish. He was picking it up quicker than me. It was clear, Luca was thriving in his new life. Dieter and I couldn’t have been prouder of him.  

When he wasn’t in school, he was with one of us - going to set with Dieter on his smaller jobs or hanging out with me in the office. He was forever inquisitive about everything happening around him, always full of questions on the drive home.  

Unfortunately, the more time Luca spent with us outside of the house, the more attention it brought from the paparazzi. We always avoided places where they lurked, but they were increasingly showing up in random locations. One late evening, they caught us leaving the office. Initially, they held back, filming from a distance. However, once I got Luca settled into the back seat, a couple of them appeared next to the car. They asked how I was doing. I played along and was polite at first, but then they asked about Luca. “Who is he? Why is he staying with you?” I shut them down, refusing to speak any further as I got into the driver's side to leave.  

A few days later, I was sitting on the couch, scrolling social media when I found some pictures of Dieter and Luca outside of a snow cone shop. The pictures linked to an online publication. Luca’s face was blurred out, but it was still rattling. The images showed Dieter and Luca laughing, Dieter with his arm around Luca’s shoulders as they waited in line, Dieter ruffling the boy's hair…just very mundane things that supported the most ridiculous article title: Does Dieter Bravo Have a Secret Love Child? 

I nearly choked on nothing as I read it. Scrolling further down into the article revealed more pictures of the both of us dropping Luca off at school and the three of us out and about in town. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. I tried not to pay it much attention until shared posts started showing up in my feed, and other articles citing that one as a source. It seemed to be getting out of hand in a matter of hours of the original article being published.  

I sighed, pulling myself up off the couch to go find Dieter. He and Luca were downstairs in the craft room, painting. The sliding glass doors were open, allowing the dogs to chase each other in and out of the house, causing absolute chaos. Yet, they were both engrossed in their painting, completely unaware of the madness. I sidled up to Dieter, rubbing at his shoulder to get his attention. Without stopping his paint strokes, he slid one arm around my waist and pulled me into his side, hugging me to him in silence.  

“Dieter, I need to show you something.”  

He nodded, still focused on his canvas. “OK, so show me.”  

I held my phone up in front of his face. His eyes widened as he took in the article title, the paint brush slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor, splattering blue paint everywhere.  

“What the fuck?!?! Seriously?!?!”  

Luca paused, now turning to look at us. “What’s wrong?” he asked with eyes as wide as Dieter’s. Dieter burst out laughing as he realized what they were insinuating. “The bullshit they come up with…that one takes the cake.”  

I huffed, “Aren’t you concerned that’s gonna cause a frenzy though? They’ve already started bugging us.”  

He sighed, “That’s a good point…I have an interview scheduled for Friday. Maybe I can address it then? Or Maybe Elaine can do a press release? I dunno… I’ll call her tonight.” 

Luca was still watching us, wide-eyed. Dieter smiled at him, “It’s nothing hombrecito. Just the paps posting crazy stories about us.”  

Luca rolled his eyes and turned back around to work on his painting of what I assumed was Moony.  

Dieter grabbed my ass and squeezed gently, “Don’t worry about it, mi estrella (my star). I’ll take care of it.”  

He planted a juicy kiss on my lips. As he pulled away, Moony grabbed the paint brush he had dropped and took off outside. We watched in horror as two of the foster pups proceeded to try and grab it from him, getting blue paint all over their faces in the process.  

I snorted, “You’re cleaning that mess up.”  

Luca laughed loudly as Dieter dropped his head and slumped his shoulders in defeat.  

True to his word, Dieter did take care of the rumors. He addressed it during his interview, which was meant to focus on one of his new film projects. I tuned in to watch, nervous over how it would go.  

The interviewer opened by addressing the gossip head on, asking if it was true that he had a secret love child. Dieter laughed at the ridiculousness of it before diving into his response.  

“The short answer is no, I do not. I believe I was pretty open about being snipped before Talia and I got married. So, I’m not really sure how anyone came to that particular conclusion.”  

Then the interviewer asked, “And the long answer?” 

His demeanor changed, a genuine smile spreading across his face now. “We do have a young gentleman staying with us right now. He’s a minor, so I’m not gonna share any details…but I can say that I worked with him through the mentoring program that our foundation funds through the local school system. He’s found himself in an unfortunate situation and needed a place to go. So, we’ve opened our home to him until things get figured out.”  

“So, it’s temporary then?”  

Dieter shrugged, “That’s what they’re telling us for now, but we’ll see.” 

The interviewer gave him a warm smile, “Well, I hope things turn out the way you want them to. Thanks for sharing that with us. I know it’s been a hot topic the last few days. Now, let’s move on to your next film…”  

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. That seemed like it went well. My phone buzzed. It was Elaine.  

Elaine: Don’t worry. He answered it perfectly. That should calm things down. It’ll probably even translate to more (positive) press for him too.  

Me: Thanks. That helps calm my nerves some.  

Elaine: I know. 😏 (smirk emoji) 

I chuckled. She knew me too well.  

Things did settle down with the paparazzi after that. Thankfully. However, there was still a black cloud hanging over us. We were waiting for the call that would change everything. It had been two months since Luca had first come to stay with us. I had only received the occasional text thus far to say there were no updates. However, on this day, my phone lit up with an incoming call from Amber. My heart immediately started hammering in my chest out of fear of what news she would bring. I hesitated, but finally answered.  

“Hey Talia, it’s Amber. I wanted to give you a call to share the latest. We got a lead on an aunt…his dad’s sister. We’re working to track her down. It’s the only thing we’ve got so far though. I’m not sure how promising it is.” 

My mouth had gone dry, I almost couldn’t speak, “That’s…great news.” It sounded forced and disingenuous.  

I wasn’t sure if Amber picked up on it or not. If she did, she didn’t let on, “How’s he doing? Things still going well? We’re getting good reports from the school.”  

I cleared my throat, “Yeah, he’s doing great. He seems like he’s adjusted well.”  

“That’s good. You guys are doing a good job with him. Keep up the work. I’ll give you a call when I hear something new. Talk to you soon.” 

I had to force a “goodbye” out as I disconnected the call. This wasn’t the news that I wanted, and I dreaded sharing it with Dieter.  

Dieter took the news about like I thought he would. His optimistic attitude was beginning to wane. Having the uncertainty of everything hanging over our heads made it hard to enjoy our time together as a family. Every time my cell phone rang, it took us out of the moment and raised our anxiety to max levels. We hadn’t told Luca about the latest development, deciding that we wanted him to enjoy his time with us with as little worry as possible. He deserved that much.  

About three and a half months into Luca’s time with us, we were all in the dining room. I was cleaning up after dinner while Dieter helped Luca with his math homework, or rather, Luca was teaching Dieter how to do his math homework because Dieter wasn’t following. We were laughing at Dieter’s tirade about how ridiculous math is when my phone rang.  

I saw Amber’s name flash across my phone. My expression must have given it away because Dieter’s words trailed off as he gave me a worried look. I gave him a tight smile before stepping outside onto the deck to take the call.  

“Hey Amber, how are you?” I asked, trying to sound chipper and happy to talk to her.  

“Hey Talia! I’m good. How is everyone on your end?” 

I nodded as I responded, “G-Good. We’re all good here…” It didn’t sound very convincing.  

I could hear the smile in her voice, “That's great to hear. So, I’ll get to the point…After checking everything out, it looks like it’s all hinging on the aunt. There are no surviving grandparents and there doesn’t appear to be any other close relatives. We’re still trying to locate the aunt, but I’m gonna be honest…based on some of the feedback we’ve gotten, she may not be fit to take him even if she wants to. If that’s the case, then the next step is Luca becoming available for adoption.”  

I was quiet for a moment, processing her words. I was feeling both excitement and fear with this news. There was still a chance that someone else could get him, but we were one step closer. Amber interrupted my thoughts, “Is that something you think you guys might be interested in at this point? Adopting him? You get first dibs since he’s already with you.” 

I inhaled deeply, “Ummm…” Dieter caught my eye through the window. He was still sitting with Luca at the table, but watching me intently, looking for any sign as to what was happening with our conversation. “Yes, we want to. More than anything…but…I do have some concerns.”  

Amber was quiet for a moment, “Such as?” 

I let out a stuttered breath, “Will our mental health history be an issue? I don’t want to start this if there’s no chance…” 

Amber cut me off, “No, no. Absolutely not. You guys have been good for a while now. You’re both doing great, and you make a point to take care of yourselves in that regard…and it gives you a hand up in dealing with Luca’s trauma too. As long as your doctor supports and signs off on it, it’s a non-issue.”  

I sighed in relief. This was something that had been at the back of my mind that I was afraid to acknowledge, but it seemed like it was reaching the point where I needed to.  

“That’s good to hear. That gives me some hope then…but I don’t wanna get my hopes up either.”  

“I understand that. It’s not an easy situation. Being a foster parent is hard. It takes a strong person to let these kids in, knowing they may ultimately have to let them go and never see them again.” 

I huffed out a laugh, “Yeah, I don’t think I can do this again. As much as I want to, I can’t.”  

“I can’t say I’m surprised by that. I’m happy you tried it though. At least you know what it’s about.”  

“Yeah…me too…” 

We ended the call after that. I was rubbing at my forehead as Dieter walked out onto the deck, silently closing the door behind him.  

“What did she say?” he asked. The look on his face could only be described as a mixture of fear and anguish.  

“They’re still looking for the aunt…but it’s down to her. There are no other options. If she can’t or doesn’t want to take him, then he’ll be available for adoption.”  

You could see the tension leave Dieter’s body as he closed the space between us and pulled me into a tight hug. 

“That’s good news then. We’re one step closer. It’s better than the alternative.” 

I sighed, “Yeah, I guess. You know…I feel kind of shity hoping that no one wants this kid. It’s sad for him. I don’t want him to feel unwanted and like he doesn’t have a family, yet that’s exactly what I’m wishing for. I feel selfish.”  

Dieter pushed some stray hairs back off my face, “That’s not true, mi vida (my life). He’s wanted and he does have a family…doesn’t matter if it’s not by blood. We wanna give him a life and we will…a fulfilling and happy one. That’ll be enough for him. So, wish away. It’s not selfish if we have good intentions.”  

I nodded, fighting back tears. He always knew the right thing to say to calm me.  

We decided to wait until we had more concrete news before we told Luca anything. I knew he had to be curious. He never asked though. We continued through our daily routine, living as a family and falling completely in love with the kid more and more with each passing day. He fit into our life so perfectly and was literally becoming a mini version of Dieter. Seeing them together made my heart feel complete, filling in that last little puzzle piece that I hadn’t even realized was missing.  

Seeing the fatherly side of Dieter was causing me to fall for him even more, which I didn’t realize was possible. The man had so much love to give now that he had opened himself up to it and he had no limits. I loved every version of him, but this one…it was something else.  

About a month later, I was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast. Dieter had left to drop Luca off at school. I had just watched one of the foster dogs overturn a large bowl of water as they all caused chaos throughout the house, when my phone rang. It was Amber. I felt my stomach drop. I knew this call was going to change everything. It was the call we had been anxiously awaiting while simultaneously hoping it never came.  

As soon as Amber greeted me, I was trying to read her voice. She was giving me nothing as she got into her usual small talk. I finally had to cut her off.  

“Amber, I don’t mean to be rude, but can we cut to the chase? What’s going on?” 

She chuckled, “It’s not rude. I know you guys have been waiting for a while to see how this is gonna go.”  

I laughed nervously, “Yeah, we have.” 

I could hear her take a deep breath before she continued. It immediately set me on edge.  

“Well…depending on how you look at it, I have some good news.” 

That didn’t really tell me anything. In fact, it made me more nervous. “Ok, and that news is…?” 

She was smiling now, “So, we finally got in contact with the aunt. She’s not interested or even able to care for him. Which means you guys can start the process for adoption if you still want that.”  

I couldn’t hold back my tears. It took everything in me to keep from sobbing into the phone. “Yes. Yes, of course we do. I mean, I wanna talk to Luca about it first, but yes…we do.”  

“I thought you might say that. I’ll send the paperwork over this afternoon. I’m here to help you through the process, so let me know if you need anything.”  

I thanked her before disconnecting the call. I stood there in the middle of the kitchen, unable to move in disbelief. The sobs bubbled up from my chest, no longer able to contain them. I was feeling every emotion - excitement, happiness, relief. It was almost too much. Dieter came in from the garage just as I was allowing the emotions to overtake me. He immediately rushed over to me, engulfing me in his arms and pulling me tightly against his chest as he begged me to tell him what was going on. It took me a minute to finally compose myself enough to talk.  

I sniffled, “Amber just called…” 

He pulled back just enough to meet my gaze, looking like he was about to break as his eyes filled with tears.  

I shook my head, still sniffling, “N-No, it’s good news. The aunt…she didn’t want him. Amber’s sending the adoption paperwork over today.”  

I watched his features shift from distraught to excitement as a brilliant toothy smile spread across his face. His eyes flooded with happy tears as sobs rippled through his body. He pulled me back into a tight embrace mumbling sweet words into my neck. We were elated as realization set in that we were finally going to have a son.  

Dieter and I went to pick Luca up from school together that afternoon. We had decided that we would tell him the news at dinner and ask him how he felt about it. So, when Luca asked from the back seat why we were so smiley, it took everything in us not to say anything just yet. Dieter chuckled, changing the subject without answering him. Instead, he asked Luca what he wanted for dinner.  

He put his finger to his chin, like he was deep in thought, “Hmmm…how about…pizza!”  

Dieter and I laughed at his enthusiasm and agreed that it felt like a pizza night. To Luca’s delight, we stopped to pick up two pizzas on the way home. As we walked inside, I watched Luca go to his room to put his things away. A few minutes later he returned and without a word began preparing the dog's dinner while Dieter assisted. They disappeared downstairs to feed everyone while I pulled out cups and plates for us to eat once they were finished. The way we had settled into our life still amazed me most days and it was hitting me all over again that this would soon be permanent.  

Just as we were finishing up dinner, Dieter was the one to bring up the news. I watched as his fingers began to absentmindedly trace the groove in his glass of water. He was nervous. I reached over and took his other hand in mine, giving it a squeeze.  

“So…Luca, we got some news today that we wanna talk to you about.”  

Luca looked between us, his brown eyes wide and hopeful. Something told me he knew what it was about. He gently pushed his plate away and leaned forward on the table, waiting for Dieter to continue. 

“It looks like we’re gonna be given the opportunity to apply for adoption so that you can stay with us…but we wanna make sure you’re ok with that first.”  

Luca’s brows furrowed, “Does that mean you can be my parents for real?” 

Dieter shot a nervous glance in my direction before looking back at the boy, “Yeah, that means we can be your parents for real. You would be stuck with us, forever.” 

Luca’s eyes filled with tears, “Really? I can stay here?”  

Dieter and I both nodded. Luca launched out of his seat to run around the table and hug us.  

“We still have to go through the process, and it has to be approved by the court, but we’re gonna do everything we can to make it official.” I added. I wanted to make it clear that we still had a process to get through. It didn’t matter though, the prospect of it was enough. We were all a crying mess before it was all said and done. Excited about the news and possibilities.  

Dieter and I worked to get the paperwork started and submitted within days of receiving it. It was a long and arduous process, but we managed it. After eleven months of jumping through all the hoops of paperwork, home visits, check ins, and interviews, we finally got our adoption hearing with the court. The entire family joined us as did many of our close friends. Several representatives from the school and CDSS were in attendance as well to show their support in addition to the numerous letters of support that had been submitted to the court on our behalf. With no dissent or challenges to the adoption, the judge had no issues with approving it. The judge praised us for the work we were doing with Luca and with the community. Everyone broke out into cheers as Dieter pulled Luca and I into his chest for a group hug. We couldn’t have been happier with the outcome.  

As we exited the courthouse, we thanked everyone who came to support us. Luca had a smile on his face through it all, holding on to mine and Dieter’s hands as we walked through the building. It was an emotionally exhausting morning for us, but we were in high spirits as we reached the car, discussing where to go for a celebratory lunch.

Dieter dropped Luca’s hand to reach for the back door to open for him, but Luca, who was still holding my hand tightly in his other one, grabbed Dieter’s wrist, stopping him from opening the door. We both paused, giving him a questioning look. 

“Does this mean I can call you mom and dad now?” he asked in a shy voice as he looked between the two of us.  

Dieter and I glanced at each other, both of us clearly getting emotional all over again as tears pooled in our eyes before kneeling down to Luca and pulling him into a hug. We sat there in silence for a brief time, all of us sniffling like fools.  

“You can call us whatever you want, hombrecito (little man),” Dieter finally said.  

“Within reason,” I added with a chuckle.  

Dieter and Luca snorted as I mussed the boy’s hair. Luca leaned over to Dieter conspiratorially, “I guess mujer mandona (bossy woman) is out of the question then?”  

Dieter’s tea kettle laugh sounded across the parking lot as he shook his head from side to side. I stared at the two of them trying to figure out what was so damn funny.  

Dieter finally sputtered out between chuckles, “I would probably avoid that one, bud.” 

I huffed, looking at Luca, “What did you say?” The only response he gave was to shake his head, still smiling. I looked toward Dieter, “What did he say? Dieter?”   

Dieter laughed harder, refusing to answer me as he continued to shake his head and hold his stomach with his hand.  

“Ok, I see how it is you two...You're on dinner duty tonight for that.” I said as I got into the passenger seat of the car, smiling and shaking my head at them.  

Dieter opened the back door, allowing Luca to plop down before he got into the driver's seat. They were both still chuckling as I gave them some serious side eye. Dieter suddenly gasped loudly, “I have an idea! Let’s head off the gossip columns and make it Instagram official.”  

I arched an eyebrow in his direction, then looked at Luca. He smiled and shrugged, “Sure.” 

Dieter pulled out his phone as Luca scooted forward to lean between the front seats. Dieter squished his cheek against Luca’s and held his arm out to take a picture, but paused, then turned to look at me.  

“Come on mama, you’re gonna be in it too,” he said with a smirk. Luca was smiling at me now too.  

His words and their smiles made my heart flutter in my chest, causing me to feel almost giddy. How could I say no to that? I leaned forward and squished my cheek against Luca’s while Dieter did the same to the other side. All of us gave the camera cheesy smiles as he snapped a few pics. We examined the images and picked the best one, all giving our approval before Dieter went to work.  

Once Dieter made the post, he shoved his phone away and gave me a lopsided grin. I narrowed my eyes at him as I unlocked my phone to check Instagram.  

The post was already racking up likes and comments. It was a cute picture, with an even cuter caption: “Our family just got bigger. It’s Luca Bravo’s gotcha day! Your mama and papa love you, hombrecito!”  

For the first time in months, I felt light and unencumbered. We were finally a family without worry and full of love and happiness. What more could we possibly ask for?  

Dieter’s hand moved to my thigh, squeezing gently as he pulled out onto the main road to be immediately stopped by a red light. He glanced over at me with a mischievous grin.  

“What are you smiling about?” I asked. 

He fought to keep a straight face as he glanced at me for a second time, “Me and Luca want a baby goat.”  

Well…there’s that.  

A/N: Everyone, give a big cheer for Dieter and Talia's one year anniversary! I can't believe it's been a year since I introduced these two to the world. Thank you for all the love and support you have given to them (and me) through it all. I'm sure we will see more of these two at some point. We need to know how Dieter finally ended up with that baby goat that he wanted so badly...

Now that we have learned the details about how Luca came to be in their care and Dieter and Talia's journey to expand their family, does that change your view on the events that come later in the Epilogue? They really have been put through it.

And we got more Daddy Dieter goodness, that's always fun. Doesn't he just make you melt? I think how he handled everything in this oneshot shows just how much he has grown...and how much Talia has too.

I'll stop rambling now. Sound off about your thoughts with a comment or reblog. You know I love to hear them!

Want more Dieter & Talia? Check out their story at the links below:

✨Destiny & Deliverance is where it all started.

✨The Light in the Darkness tells us the story from Dieter's POV. (New chapters coming soon.)

If you would like to be added to the Destiny & Deliverance Universe tag list, let me know in the comments or shoot me a DM.

Divider Credits: Reblog/MDNI: @cafekitsune Stars: @saradika

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@hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring  @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs 

@cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury  @missladym1981 

@maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love  @themonadiaries-blog 

@madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts  @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed 

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@annalovesflorida @imdrinkingpedro @sunnytuliptime @pedrostories @dieterbravobrainrotclub

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my friends in our small business that they need to do more?

🔎<- to find later

My (17F) and my friends (17-19, 3M, 1F) have a small business that we have run together for a while. We’ve thought about it since we were kids, and we were finally able to when one of my friends got his own car and a license.

What we do requires a lot of travel, so we’re on the road pretty much any time we aren’t in school. I usually find and research jobs, and the friend with the car drives us there. We travel on the weekend/vacation, or, if it’s close, we go there after school.

I wouldn’t trade this for the world — I love what we do, I love learning about new places, and I love being with my friends. But there a few problems.

Two of my male friends, A and B, hardly do anything, especially A. He always whines about wanting to go home, the kind of jobs we take, when we eat, etc. B doesn’t complain nearly as much, but always takes A’s side. And both of them need to be pleaded and negotiated with to do any sort of task.

They are both also HUGE stoners. They hide their stash pretty well, and I’ve never seen them smoking/eating any, but I can always smell it on them, and they are always high as a kite whenever we take a job. I’ve caught them taking food from client’s refrigerators, hiding in places when their paranoia gets bad, and generally just trying to get out of work any way they can.

C, my friend with the car, also does most of the work with me. However, he always uses the most complicated way of doing a job, usually wasting materials and time that could be used elsewhere.

C is also our de facto leader, so he always tells us where to go and what to do when we get to a job. This wouldn’t be an issue, except he always puts himself closest to D, who he has an on again off again relationship with. D also doesn’t do a whole lot — not that she isn’t willing to, but she just doesn’t have a whole lot of skills like C and I do.

This also means that I’m the one usually paired with A and B, which means pretty much babysitting them until we’re finished.

In a nutshell, I feel like I’m doing most of the work here. I find the jobs, do a lot of the planning, and figure out a lot of the problems we face. It’s not only exhausting, but also very frustrated to never be given recognition for picking up everyone’s slack.

But they’re also my friends, and I don’t want to make things awkward or make them upset. However, I can’t keep up with this workload, especially with the little funds we have.

Am I the AH for wanting them to do a little more for the business we made? I just can’t keep solving all these mysteries by myself.

What are these acronyms?

[dustydaydreamer]

My brother is going to nationals!!!

If his team can get funding.

I'm super proud of him and his teammates who have worked insanely hard this year to qualify. By the end of his freshman year, my brother was running a mile in just under five minutes, and this year he shaved twenty whole seconds off his personal record. In the relay race that qualified for nationals, he has been running 400 meters in less than a minute.

The thing about a relay race is you really need four fast runners to make it work. The team that qualified for nationals has two seniors, a junior, and my brother, a sophomore, and so it is unlikely that he will get another chance to go to nationals in his high school career, cause the fastest people are graduating and there aren't any promising freshmen. This is also the only chance the seniors will get, because the highschool has never been to nationals before and they're graduating.

I, and everyone on his team, would be ecstatic if anyone could donate. We've gotten to over $2000, but his coach says the high school is very unlikely to chip in at all if we don't get to $8000 after the big fundraiser this week, which would make going a lot more difficult. I don't expect to have any actual fundraising power on this platform, but I need to at least try. He's so excited about this opportunity and I don't want to see what happens to his enthusiasm and passion for running if he doesn't make it, because he has been putting every ounce of his soul into this team.

Here's the link!