#school projects isnt even done yet

[seolooo]

scratching my balls, also check out the fanfic made by @/thatcoollesbian 'clean up on aisle 7' because this is basicly a fanart about it (its also joyxiety wink wink)

[noctilu-uca]

This little freakster is apparently really really courteous and gentlemanly as said by the nrc students. He uses very highly respectable honorifics for EVERYONE even the people his own age (hes 16-ish i think) and is generally a very polite person and speaks eloquently. So very eloquently that it gets really odd since we rarely see that type of speech from someone so young in twst. As we know, halloween fanatic. BIIIGGG halloween fanatic. his hometown apparently worshiped jack skellington and saw him as the creator of halloween so basically grew up in weirdly halloween religious town. At school he was very ostracized (assuming he didnt go to school in his hometown, dont know if its NRC or RSA, best to assume its not) because the students dont share his interests and find him weird. Ended up in a book, the book his IDOL jack skellington resides in, forgotten by history, yet he aimlessly wandered the forest and never opened the holiday doors despite it being the only thing different in the forest

Theres many theories, skully might be dead, might be a ghost, OOORRR. a fae. there is many things that supoort these theories because. 1. Skully doesnt seem to have the same background knowledge as the NRC students. 2. doesnt seem to know the existence of very common things in twst, things that even the 700+ year old lilia remembers very well and can recount the change of expresison over time (magic stones). 3. He seems to think people dont know about halloween, or at the minimum gets OVERLY excited and surprised that people know of the *existence* of halloween. Theres more thingd but i cant remember them right now

But me ? What i think ? I think skully just grew up in an overly conservative town and he doesnt really *know* the outside world and its perspective because its all hes known. Of course my knowledge is limited bc this is a jp event WAAHHH but i know enough to make a decent inference

Despite being halloweens no.1 fan. Hes very odd about its expression...? He had odd rules, i dont remember them all but it was weird things like ALL BLACK. NO COLOURS. NO CANDY. NO MUSIC. NO DANCING. THIS IS SERIOUS AND SHOULD BE RESPECTED.

Anyway my point is that his expression of halloween is very serious very conservative and is almost treated like a wake or a funeral of some kind tbh. He also said that the "bad" ghosts should be beaten away despite halloween being the celebration of ALL ghosts (NRC students fought him on this one) which kinda just shows theres some moral "sin" he believes exists with halloween. Of course, expression is always subjective and hes free to do whatever he wants but he gets wayyy too upset when someone tries to go against whatever rules he places down for halloween. Way too upset. Ofc the NRC students (leona) weren't *always* nice about expressing their objections but it was still odd. He romanticizes halloween (much like how jack romanticizes christmas) yet turns it into something you would see at a weird church ? Hm.

And even with all that, he met jack !! His idol !! Wow omg !! But the thing is, when jack is planning halloween for the year skully actively dislikes his ideas. Despite idolizing him. Of course he goes along with it anyway because wow idol but, again, really odd

So my thoughts on this predicament, skully grew up in a religious, small, conservative town. And when he moved out and explored the world he was met with ostracism, and when he found an escape (the book) he dug himself into his fixation and refuses to leave the world hes built himself. He rarely talks about his outside world experiences, rarely talks about his hometown unless its in reference to his fixation. His views stay stuck with the conservative approach despite being told time and time again that it isnt the *right* way to approach. Even, indirectly, by his own idol whom he had been projecting onto. But even with people pointing out his skewed ways, he stays stuck. Refusing to redirect his approach and stay with what he has always done and always wanted to do.

Escapism and reality are very big themes im seeing, thats all.

I COULD BE SO WRONG PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CORRECT OR ADD INFO IM NOT CONFIDENT ABOUT ANYTHING I AM POSTING ABOUT THIS GUY I LEARNED THIS ALL SECOND HAND AND DIDNT LOOK BACK FOR REFERENCE THIS IS STRAIGHT HOT OFF THE NOGGIN !!!!!

[mihai-florescu]

Kaname's mom and Subaru's dad (Kaname's idol fanatic mom jumping on stage and then falling to her death at Subaru's dad's concert, top solo idol at the peak of the industry, leading to uncovering of past misdeeds, his arrest, deteriorating health and death. Kaname isnt told what happened but knows he needs to be an idol because it's the thing his mom loved best, and Subaru spends his whole life under the threat of his dad's legacy, thinking he will meet the same fate as his dad. And yet he still chooses to pursue being an idol to make people smile, starting from his mom. In a funny twist of fate, decades later Kaname is attacked by the non special student body of Reimei when they're shown a video of his mom's sins being a catalyst of That Akehoshi's decline. But when a video accusing Subaru of being his dad's son is projected at the biggest idol event of the year, he is protected by the friends he's made, escaping the same fate.)

Madara's parents and Kanata's mom (Madara's parents with their numerous connections helping Kanata's mom fake her death to set her free, to escape the cult worshipping her. Madara spending his entire youth trying to destroy the cult and give Kanata back his humanity, feeling like he's failed because he couldn't do it on his own when it was never a task that could be done alone in the first place)

Izumi's parents (They're controlling Izumi throughout his childhood to follow their wishes and expectations of him, but Izumi chooses one thing for himself that they don't agree with - Makoto. Eventually he grows up to follow in his parents' footsteps by trying to control Makoto himself to protect him from potentially getting hurt)

Jun's dad and Nagisa's "dad" (Jun's dad raising him to be a solo super idol that can defeat Jin, but Jun only flourishes when he joins a unit with Hiyori and stops seeing being an idol as a duty. Similarly Nagisa being raised to be the next supreme idol, finding warmth and a family in his unit instead of being alone at the top)

Wataru and his adoptive parents (who didn't pay much attention to him, leading to Wataru constantly learning new tricks to outdo himself until eventually he couldn't be understood by those around him anymore...)

Arashi's parents (individualistic and uncaring, leading to her developing the big sis persona to not let others feel unsupported as she was growing up)

Tsumugi and his mom (who has failed, got scammed by religious organizations and brought trouble to the point of divorce, and despite it all, Tsumugi can't give up on her, his mom who was for a long time the only stable connection in his life. Tsumugi who learns the signs of a scam and to avoid them. Tsumugi who is in charge of the SNS at school where the students start railing against Kanata's religion and recognize him as a fake god. Tsumugi who develops a big bro helpful persona to make himself useful. Tsumugi who considers becoming a teacher because of it, who gets confronted by Natsume "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, or have you forgotten that's the same vocation your mom failed at?" Tsumugi who is very much aware and had decided to make a separate path for himself, one continuing as an idol in Switch, even before Natsume's words.)

Man. Enstars characters and the relation to their parents, the expectations, subversions, accidental following in their footsteps etc. I couldve worded this entire post so much better and added more characters, but you get the gist. This is all just my understanding, if you think anything is off please let me know. And I did not mention every character so if you think I missed something important also share.

[actualbird]

hi zak! I saw the tags you left on a reblogged post about Luke and suffering in relation to catholicism and that made me think. one of my classmates used to mention "the catholic guilt" (particularly about having desire), and I just thought it fits Luke so well. He felt so guilty about loving Rosa (and leaving her alone...) for so long T-T. Also, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about catholic and filipino luke if you'd like to write about it!

irt to these deranged tags i left on this post abt suffering as salvation and luke forever ago, screencapped below for reference

hello hello! sorry this response took Ages but now im finally down to answer this so....

//steeples hands.....is luke pearce catholic coded? to Me, yes, and ive been casually throwing around this concept ever since 2021 HAHA. the filipino bit is actually just me projecting, so i wont go too much into that, but the religious bit Is something i wanna talk about. and i apologize in advanced for how long this response is gonna end up being

quick disclaimer b4 i start tho: im Not a theologian or an expert in religious theory, im just some guy who went through over a decade of catholic school and lives in the philippines, a primarily catholic country. this whole response is not saying "catholicism bad." it's more the institutions from where we experience catholicism from can twist it into something harmful, and i got to experience that first hand and how it affects one's view of themselves

ANYHOO, LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING

like....the Beginning beginning

part 1: in the beginning, adam and eve did an oopsie so now we're all saddled with original sin (i swear this is important to luke pearce, bear with me)

quick recap on those who are unfamiliar: in the book of Genesis, god told adam and eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. and then they did. this was the first ever sin in the history of humankind, and it is inherited by all humans through birth. so like, yay, happy entrance into the world, newly born baby child! you are guilty of sin already. this original sin is most usually absolved though through baptism, so it's not too much of a problem. but what im interested here is less of the nitty gritty semantics and more of the concept this all puts forth:

that under catholicism and similar denominations, a child, somebody who has not done any wrong at all, is inherently tainted by sin

now, the Good reaction to sin or any wrongdoing one has done is to recognize it and to atone for forgiveness. and within the "recognition" part is where guilt lies. functionally, guilt has a purpose. it makes us realize that we had done something wrong, it makes us feel remorseful, and it adds motivation to atone, to turn a new leaf, and to be better. in healthy amounts, guilt is useful and a natural part of being conscious over the things you do. and in unhealthy amounts, guilt is agonizing.

but thats for stuff you actually Did.

if the thing you are guilty for isnt actually something you were responsible over, the guilt cant do anything to make any of it better. you cant be a better person from it, because you didnt even do it. it just sits there, making you feel horrible for something that was out of your control. but because guilt is a Good thing to do, it doesnt matter if it's functional or not. it needs to stay. because it's Good, and the sin youre saddled with (whether or not you were responsible) is Bad

now let's bring in luke

luke's parents died when he was very young. this led him to living with mc's family, and a huge insecurity and fear he had from the beginning was that he felt guilty for burdening them, for stealing the love and care from mc's parents when that shouldve been for mc alone. the story SSR Shape Of You goes into this particular childhood experience extensively (and i highly reccommend it to anyone who hasnt read it yet), and tells us that his guilt was so bad that he wanted to run away and even erase himself from existence.

but luke didnt even do anything wrong

at the time, he was a child. he had no bearing whatsoever in the accident that killed his parents, he had no sway over who wouldve ended up looking after him, he had no control over the situation. like a newborn baby born under catholic doctrine, luke finds himself inherently tainted by and guilty for the circumstances that landed him to where he was.

this kind of pattern is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and the concept of inherent sin and inherent guilt begins to evolve. if luke can find himself guilty for things out of his control, then he can also find himself guilty for things that arent even sins in the first place

key example: love

like you said, luke feels immense guilt over loving mc. but why? love is the opposite of a sin, afterall.

it's just a sin when luke does it. because luke sees himself as inherently bad, and sees mc as inherently good. he sees himself as unworthy of her or someone who will just bring pain into her life, and causing pain someone you love is bad. if love is the knife he uses to hurt someone he loves, then that love is bad. that love should not be realized, and luke should feel guilty for even yearning for her.

by this point i think it's obvious that original concept has become twisted and overly punishing, even cruel. and thats because:

a lot of institutions teach catholic doctrine in an unhealthy and harmful manner. this is why many catholics and lapsed catholics experience The Catholic Guilt(TM). what was originally a pretty reasonable thing gets blown out of proportion from the places we learn these things from, and then getting exposed to this for majority of our lives lets it worm its way into our brain where it'll tend to stay

and if one's brain also has a tendency for self hatred and/or mental illness........well. it all gets worse.

it's clear in canon that luke is uhhhh not the most mentally well individual. his guilt is so overwhelming that it's the driving force in so many of his choices, stories, and experiences. which is big reason #1 for why luke just seems so catholic to me, because of the sheer intensity of his guilt and how he sees himself as inherently bad and unworthy.

but in the roadmap of sin, thats only the beginning. because the process goes:

sin (bad) -> recognition of the bad aided by guilt (good) -> atonement to become better (good)

which leads to big reason #2

part 2: suffering, pain, and misery as atonement

it's important to note that catholicism does not posit that "suffering is good", but there is a clear pattern of veneration for people who endure suffering under noble causes. many, many people in catholic history have been martyred (and many also sainted), one of the biggest examples being jesus himself.

pain is not good, but someone who chooses to take it on for good reasons (self-sacrifice, martyrdom, putting others above one's self) or stays good in spite of all the pain they experienced (unwavering faith, a heart of gold), well, THAT person is good.

however, like a lot of stuff in catholicism, things get twisted into extreme variations because of how it gets taught or experienced. it doesnt take a genius to see how "people who endured pain for good reasons were brave and devoted people" can transform into "to experience pain is inherently noble" when you take into consideration that many sins (like, of the seven deadly sins variety, pride, sloth, lust, etc etc) are variations of indulgence.

specifically over-indulgence, yes, but there's a dichotomy now. here, in the list of Good Stuff are things that feel not-so-good, and over in the list of Bad Stuff are things that do feel good

bad stuff is a sin, and from part 1, sins are things you should be guilty for

and now, to feel good is also bad, so you should be guilty for that. which reinforces the concept that to feel bad is good.

congratulations, you've unintentionally glorified suffering and demonized pleasure! //sad trumpet noises

you can see this kind of thinking pretty clearly in luke pearce. there are the big examples like the previous one i brought up, where he feels so guilty for his feelings for mc. but it appears even in smaller casual situations, like in his 1st birthday event story. this moment was seared into my brain

"can i look forward to this?" is indicative of hesitating in the face of happiness. even something as mundane as anticipating a birthday surprise is something to be approached with caution, feels too good to be true, to be allowed, because feeling good is bad and luke doesnt see himself worthy of it

but okay, we're all guilty now of the horrible sin of enjoying life. what comes next? atonement, becoming better, growing from the bad to become good, right?

and what better way to cleanse one's self from the sin of feeling good but through the nobleness of enduring pain?

luke is guilty over the sin robbing burdening mc and her family -> thats okay he's leaving for college anyway! wont be able to burden them there -> oopsie the NSB happens but hey at least this lone wolf suffering is a great way to atone for his past sin -> oh god the guilt of abandoning mc though -> oh GOD the mission that killed everybody but him -> NEW ACHIEVEMENT: SURVIVOR'S GUILT ON TOP OF THE CATHOLIC GUILT! -> oh GOD he's even guiltier now of his feelings for mc because of his illness, he'll only bring pain to her, how selfish of him to have feelings like this, bad and wrong -> the best way to handle this is to stay away from her to let her live in peace (lacking the pain that luke will bring) and deprive himself of her who brings him joy (inflicting pain of separation onto sinner as punishment) -> the path to salvation (to being good, because only in being Good is someone worthy of love) is through constant suffering and endless self-deprivation

kinda insane how luke's self-perceived sins and self-inflicted sufferings gain compound interest of misery, but his spiral into self-loathing is littered with this kind of nonsensical "because i did [THING], i should deserve pain/NOT deserve happiness"

for luke, suffering became the mode of atonement, it became the solution for sin and guilt.

part 3: conclusion

to wrap this all up, i wanna make it clear that i dont necessarily think luke is like, catholic in the story. nor is even it a headcanon i have. it's more that the intensely self-punishing thought patterns luke has in relation to guilt and suffering are very, very familiar. it resonates in a way that is horridly relatable to people who have experienced these specific catholic experience woes, but it can also resonate in completely different ways to other people as well.

but given that....yeah. based on my own experiences, all this //gestures at too-long response, is why i keep using catholic language and imagery whenever i talk about luke. it's so familiar. he's so familiar. luke would not be out of place in a filipino catholic high school crying during a 3 day retreat

thanks for the ask!!!

[battleangel]

💉💊🗑️Addicted To Trash🗑️💊💉

Food scraps take up the most landfill space in the US. Think about that for a moment & process it. As much food insecurity as there is in the US. As many people that die from poverty & from hunger.

The millions of children that face an empty refrigerator & empty pantry every day after school. That don't have money for lunch and don't have access to a free lunch or lunch voucher program.

The parents that skip meals multiple days in a row so that their children can eat.

The sugar sandwiches, cereal with water, knocking on neighbors doors begging for food.

All so Americans that have more than they'll ever need can throw out more than they can ever eat while millions are food insecure and starve within the same country.

Buy loose fruits & vegetables at a local food market, buy food with minimal packaging, only purchase groceries & food items that you actually need & will use & avoid delivery, take out, fast food, fast casual, eating at a sit down restaurant, coffee & donut shops.

Per Google: Food waste accounts for 6% of global greenhouse gas emissions.

According to the Environmental Protection Agency, food scraps are the number one item sent to landfills in the United States.

Food waste accounts for 22% of municipal waste in the U.S.

We discard more food than any other country, even as the number of people experiencing food insecurity grows.

Food waste, which includes everything from meat and fish to fruit and vegetables, can take anywhere between one month and a year to decompose.

However, food decomposition can take longer in a landfill while releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

Americans are addicted & brainwashed. You can literally go days and even weeks as an American during hotter months without encountering air that hasnt been artificially cooled. Brainwashed!  Im 42 and my grandparents in rural Georgia that I visited and stayed with for a month every year as a kid didnt have air conditioning. Yet todays modern American life claims it isnt possible yet I did it for a month every year in my youth.

Per Google: Air conditioning, heating & refrigerators are the biggest wasters of energy in American households. The cooling industry is important, but it is also incredibly polluting – accounting for around 10% of global CO2 emissions. That is three times the amount produced by aviation and shipping combined. And as temperatures around the world continue to rise due to climate change, the demand for cooling will increase too.

The average American sets their AC to 68 to 72 degrees which is fucking absurd and ridiculous.

Set air conditioning to 78 to 80 when you are home and 80 when you are asleep and not home. 

I set my AC over the summer even during the current heat wave to 80 — I dont have central air in my 1 bedroom apartment, I have wall units in my living room & bedroom.

Use fans, wear light/minimal clothing or go naked inside your home (Ive done this) and drink 64+ ounces of water a day.

The average American keeps thermostat during winter at 72 to 80 degrees which is fucking absurd.

Per Google: Heat and air contributing to nearly half of a home’s energy usage. Today, 90% of American households have air-conditioning. America is addicted to home heating and cooling, consuming more energy for air-conditioning than the rest of the world combined.

Keep thermostat during cold months at 68 degrees. Layer clothing and wear blankets inside. 

Per Google: In the same report, the I.E.A. predicted that worldwide energy use by air-conditioners would triple by 2050, “requiring new electricity capacity the equivalent to the combined electricity capacity of the United States, the E.U. and Japan today.” 

The number of global cooling devices is estimated to increase from 3.6 billion to 9.5 billion by 2050, according to a report by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) and the IEA.

Without radical changes to the cooling industry, HFC emissions are projected to contribute warming equivalent to 20% of CO2 output in 2050, the UNEP report warns.

However, some say that refrigeration could be the number one way to reduce carbon emissions. 

Per Google: Much of the world’s recent growth in cooling capability has been an adaptive response to global warming. The problem is self-perpetuating, because the electricity that refrigerators and air-conditioners run on is mostly generated by burning fossil fuels. 

Part of the problem with refrigerants, however, is that much of the harm they cause is after we as consumers have finished using them. It occurs out of sight, and so largely out of mind.

Roughly 90% of refrigerant emissions occur at equipment’s end of life, according to Project Drawdown, a nonprofit that analyses climate solutions.

The most common HFC found in domestic fridges is HFC-134a, which has a global warming potential 3,400 times that of carbon dioxide. A typical fridge can contain between 0.05kg and 0.25kg of refrigerant, which if it leaks into the environment, the resulting emissions would be equivalent to driving 675km-3,427km (420-2,130 miles) in an average family-sized car.

Refrigerators are responsible for about 4% of a home's emissions, or 89 kg of CO2 per year.

The correlation between growth in efficiency and growth in consumption is not accidental.

Similarly to air conditioning & heating, if you've noticed a trend, just setting the temperature a few degrees higher/lower can make an extremely significant difference in terms of energy consumption, greenhouse gas emissions & your contributions to climate change.

Do people care enough to change their respective thermostats just a few degrees?

Set your refrigerator to between 35 and 38°F, and your freezer to between 0 and 5°F.

A refrigerator that's 10°F colder can use up to 25% more energy.

Ironically, as climate change progresses further, our home heating and cooling needs will continue to increase in order to insulate us from extreme weather.

"Ironically" or by design?

Home heating is the single largest source of power consumption in the home, and air-conditioning is the third.

Further, air conditioning in the U.S. accounts for 5% of total energy consumption annually, and releases approximately 100 million tons of carbon dioxide into the air.

When we asked Americans whether they program or adjust their home thermostats before they leave the house, an overwhelming majority (73%) said they do not.

The solution to so much environmental damage caused by Americans ridiculously blasting their central AC & heat is right in front of their faces and is blindingly obvious yet the mindless ecocide continues.

Why? Because you don't want to be slightly unfuckingcomfortable?

Layered clothing + blankets & lower setting central heat = Winter

Lighter minimal clothing + fans + higher setting central air = Summer

It IS that easy.

I do it every summer & winter in my 1 bedroom apartment.

Why don't 73% of Americans?

Because they don't fucking feel like it, that's why.

Avoid disposable products & avoid single use products.

Avoid ordering delivery & takeout & avoid buying food & drinks at restaurants, fast casual, fast food as it produces single use containers, cups, straws, utensils, napkins.

Avoid food packaging.

If you buy prepackaged snacks, consider making them yourselves — homemade granola bars, pop tarts, trail mix recipes, etc. can easily be found on Pinterest.

•Replace plastic water bottles with water filter + stainless steel thermos bottle. •Buy items with less packaging. •Purchase reusable containers. •Minimalism — buy needs only, not wants. •Repair instead of replace items. •Buy refurbished tech & electronic devices. •Go paperless - paper accounts for 40% of landfills in the US - 40 fucking percent!

Makeup wipes take 100 years to decompose.

Stop using make up wipes & use water, soap & a face towel instead.

Clothes can take up to 40 years to decompose!

Stop buying new clothes.

Buy used clothes only when needed from thrift shops, consignment shops, Goodwill, online thrift shops, Depop, Mercari, Poshmark.

The micro mininskirt I am wearing now is from Wet Seal and I got it when I was 17 over 25 years ago.

Outside of a missing button, it is good as new and I wear it all the time.

Stop with fast fashion.

Stop buying Shein, Fashion Nova, Romwe, Zaful. Stop going to the mall. Stop buying Forever 21 and H&M. Stop going to department stores. Stop buying Macys. Stop shopping at outlets. Stop buying from Nordstrom Rack. Stop buying clothes on Wish & Amazon.

Use and reuse the clothes you already have.

When they are no longer wearable, buy used clothes only — never new — from a thrift shop, consigment store, Goodwill or Depop, Poshmark or Mercari.

Stop buying new clothes!

Batteries can contaminate soil indefinitely -- use rechargeable batteries.

Sanitary pads are made of plastic & can take up to 800 years to decompose. 800 years!

Replace sanitary pads with period underwear (I use Proof) with ob tampons without applicators (what I do) or period cups with a stem to remove & insert (boil & sterilize after each cycle) or menstrual discs.

Pads & plastic tampon applicators have toxins, chemicals & pesticides that have been proven to cause excessive menstrual bleeding (heavy periods since 11 stopped when I switched from Always pads & Tampax tampons with plastic applicators to Proof Period Underwear & ob tampons without applicators), uterine cancer, fibroids, tumors & other reproductive issues.

Washer machines are also a problem.

Dryer sheets arent biodegradable — stop using them.

Doing laundry in a washer machine releases microplastics into the environment which ends up endangering, harming & killing oceanic creatures and polluting the ocean.

Handwash clothes when you can.

Do not own a washer and dryer as you will be encouraged to wash laundry more due to it conveniently being located inside your home.

Instead, opt for a living space without a washer and dryer (like my 1 bedroom apartment that Ive lived in for 10 years).

Limit trips to the laundromat to once a month or once every other month. Rewear clothing.

You dont have to “throw away clothes as dirty” after one use.

If it isnt stained or smelling, rewear it repeatedly.

Only go to the laundromat when you are out of clean clothes to wear.

I go about once a month to every two months.

If you already have a washer and dryer in your home, limit your use of them as much as possible.

Disposable diapers take 500 years to decompose.

500 fucking years.

Use cloth diapers.

Per Google: Yard waste is one of the top ten waste items in US landfills.

Per Google:

By weight, grass is the biggest component of yard waste, averaging half of all yard waste.

Leaves and brush each provide one quarter.

Either dont have a yard & dont live in a house as living in a house is itself wasteful, a climate change driver & overconsuming energy to simply even heat & cool such a large space.

Or if for some bizarre reason you feel you "need" a house or if you already own a house with a yard, do the following per junkloggers.com: When you mow, “grasscycle” by leaving grass clippings on your lawn instead of bagging then. The clippings will return nutrients to the soil instead of taking up space in landfills. Donate healthy plants that you want to replace to community gardens, parks and schools. Using recycled materials such as compost and recycled hardwood mulch help remove yard waste from landfills and reduces the “footprint” of your own landscape.

Follow the 5 Rs: •Refuse: Maximalism, consumerism, materialism & overconsumption, FOMO, sales & clearances, shiny new toy syndrome, shopping to impress others, trends, advertising that has intentional hypnotic messaging, includes brainwashing tactics, seductive messaging, endless repetition, psyops elements, psychological warfare to buy what they are advertising & selling. •Reuse: What you already have. •Reduce: What you buy & use therefore you will have less to throw away and recycle. •Repurpose: Fix broken glasses like I did, dont buy a new pair. I just bought a glasses repair kit for a few dollars versus wasting money on a new frame, new lenses & the fuel that would have been wasted to deliver the new pair of glasses to me. Repurpose gift bags & use reusable grocery bags as totes. Reuse junk mail and newspaper as gift wrap. •Recycle: Aluminum is indefinitely repurposable but takes 800 years to biodegrade. Wash out containers, check recycling numbers, separate items.  Recycling uses oil!

Keep in mind that Exxon and the oil industry relentlessly promoted recycling before it became ubiquitious because oil is needed to recyle.

Recycling uses a huge amount of energy and is itself a contributor to climate change.

Its important to do all five Rs.

Dont just mindlessly buy use throw away recycle like big oil and capitalism endlessly brainwash you to do. All those times that you threw trash away as a kid in school, did you ever think where it was going? All those times your dad took the trash out and left it by the curb when you were young, did you ever think about where that trash was going? Did you ever think about landfills? Oceanic pollution & waste? Air pollution & air quality? Non biodegradable waste? Greenhouse gas emissions? Methane gas emissions? Landfills burning? Mountains of trash? Ofcourse not. If youre American, it was, out of sight out of mind. Im 42. When I was in school playing sports, it was throw out the empty plastic Gatorade bottle and back to softball practice. Back to track practice. Throw away trash, return lunch tray, on to my next class. Mindless. Brainwashed. Addicted to trash. Air quality near landfills is also poor and can be hazardous to humans and wildlife. The unwelcome sights, sounds, and smells of landfills make life unpleasant for nearby residents and reduce the land’s purpose. Overfull landfills may require clearing arable land and forests to create more room. Mindless. Brainwashed. Addicted to trash.

A plastic straw takes 400 years to decompose.

Did you ever think about that on your birthday at the McDonalds playground as a child as you sipped on your Hi-C Orange from your plastic straw?

Programmed.

Plastic wrap takes 1000 years to decompose.

Do you think about the amount of plastic used to wrap bottled water, packaged items, consumer goods? Or do you buy, consume, use, throw away?

Mind controlled.

Ziploc bags take 1000 years to decompose. Did you think about that as a kid in the cafeteria when you removed the PB&J sandwich that your mother made for you every day?

Brainwashed.

Stop vacationing - airplanes, cruises & automobiles are enormous drivers of climate change. Stay local - go to a library, state fair, amusement park, carnival, museum, science center, have a staycation - movie marathon at home etc, take a local class - dancing, pottery, painting, etc., visit local farms & parks.

Deprogram yourself from the belief that you need to take annual vacations, summer trips, tropical vacations, exotic vacations or that you “need to get away” —

Get away from what? 

Zombified.

Avoid driving as much as you can. Automobiles and the fossil fuels to drive them are a huge contributor to climate change. Wherever possible, do not drive and use as minimal gas as you can. Walk, ride your bike or a scooter, skateboard, roller skate or rollerblade or take public transportation where available if you have to use a car try to carpool or rideshare. Question if you really have to go wherever youre driving and is it worth the additional contributions youre making to climate change. 

Can you recreate wherever youre going at home? Can you watch the sporting event on TV, stream the concert, watch the movie when it releases to VOD? Do you need to meet up in person or can you do a video call on Twitch or Whatsapp if they are not a walkable distance from you? Can you cook instead of eating out? Can you take an online class vs driving to the class? Can you walk to a local food market vs driving to a grocery chain or big box retail store?

If you dont need to drive where youre going, dont drive.

There are millions of cars on the roads in America every day contributing endlessly to climate change so if you dont have to contribute dont and minimize your contributions as much as possible. If you can sell or donate your car then do so. If you live in an area with minimal public transportation, then drive it as little as possible. 

Stop going out to just go out or socialize or be seen as its pointless & unnecessary. 

Do your hair yourself and/or cut your hair off (I shave my head bald every 3 to 6 months) & stop driving to the hair salon.

Shave your eyebrows (what I do) and stop driving to the nail salon to get eyebrows waxed or threaded or stop shaping your eyebrows.

Stop painting your nails (what I do) or paint them yourself and stop driving to the nail salon.

Stop buying new stuff and stop driving to the mall.

Stop eating out and stop driving to restaurants.

Stop getting massages and stop going to massage parlors.

Go paperless wherever you can and stop going to the post office.

Stop going to bars and nightclubs, its pointless & a waste of time.

Eliminate bars, nightclubs, shopping malls, restaurants, movie theaters, hair salons, nail salons, massage parlors, post office, grocery stores, big box retail from your life and that should minimize the driving you do.

Dont have children.

By far, human beings are the biggest contributors to climate change so why would you ever willingly produce one (or more than one) given the amount of ecological destruction & climate change humans have already caused?

If everyone avoided having children, we could voluntarily make ourselves go extinct and save planet earth vs the current trajectory of the earth being inhabitable within 100 years and then humanity colonizing Mars and then other planets then destroying those planets in a few thousand years then moving on to the next.

Wash rinse repeat. Stop the cycle.

People are financially rewarded for ecocidal practices so this wont stop so we need to voluntarily stop ourselves and stop reproducing and stop endlessly propagating our species — human — that has been responsible for over 75k animal species going extinct, the destruction of the ozone layer, climate change, greenhouse gas emissions, endless landfills, deforestation, oceanic & air pollution, etc. 

Leather shoes & rubber leather soles take 50 to 80 years to decompose.

Buy flats and wear them until they are unusable. Once that occurs, buy new flats.

You should only be doing this once every few years like I am.

If you stand at work, buy high quality sneakers and only replace when they are breaking down.

I havent bought shoes in over five years & sneakers in over ten years.

Cut hair off like I do and stop using any hair products.

I shave my head bald every 3 months and do not do any hair maintenance. I dont use shampoo, conditioner, grease, oil, moisturizer, hair wraps, brushes, etc and as you can see my hair is perfectly fine.

Buy refurbished tech & electronic devices.

Dont ever buy new.

Look up cobalt mines in Congo and how the materials to make batteries for cell phones, EVs, TVs etc (cobalt) is causing a genocide in Congo as it is the only country that has this mineral so Apple, Samsung, Tesla etc desperately need it for their devices.

Look up the warlords fighting over these mines and the civilians being murdered as a result.

Look up the conditions of the cobalt mines — they employ women and children, no protective gear is issued despite them working in underground mines, no labor laws so they are working 12 to 16 plus hour shifts up to seven days a week exposed to dangerous conditions, toxins, chemicals with no protective gear, clothing or eyewear, they are worked like absolute slaves and are dying in these mines.

They are literally dying for your pink iPhone.

Fuck IKEA. Stop buying furniture to impress people who don't give a fuck if you live or die much less what your fucking furniture looks like.

Per Google: Most furniture is made of non biodegradable & non recyclable materials like treated wood that can't be recycled.

It takes treated wood years to decompose, and any synthetic fabrics from covers or cushions also take a long time to break down.

A polyurethane seat cushion will take up to 1,000 years to decompose.

Only replace furniture if it is broken beyond the point of repair.

In ten years of living in my 1 bedroom apartment, I have only purchased furniture once.

Dont purchase furniture to impress people, for entertaining purposes, to keep up with your social circle, to flex.

Brainwashed. Mindless. Addicted to trash. Consumerist.

Overconsumption. Materialistic. Out of sight, out of mind.

Who cares if we destroy earth, we're colonizing Mars.

An 80 year human life is worth more than 75k extinct animal species and is worth thousands of tons of plastic that will take hundreds of years to break down in landfills and 6 football fields worth of forests being destroyed via deforestation.

Speciesism is cool as long as its humans being valued among all other species on the planet and even the planet itself.

Ecocide is cool. Environmental damage is whatever.

The destruction of the environment is just part of my brat girl summer.

Has anyone seen MaXXXine?

Who are the greys, Reptilians, minders & keepers?

[trash-can-sam]

Ive finally made a sandrock OC (KIND OF) I havent just stolen the design of and put somewhere else. and I really want to talk about her. So here she is.

I wanted to give some lore to this character Qi mentions 3 times

AND now shes in my brain, so Ill say some things about her:

She wanted to be a biologist but ended up going into the same type of research job Qi's in because it paid more

Qi and Bugs went to college together and ended up working pretty closely on a few projects, maybe even had internships/jobs at the same place for a while before Qi moved to Sandrock.

She got the nickname Bugs because she would always pick up random bugs in elementry school and the name just kind of stuck. She prefers it to her actual name (which I have not thought of yet because names are hard)

Qi says that they are rivals, but I dont think thats actually true given how much they talk. I think its a lot more like a one sided rivalry where Qi has decided shes his rival and she just kinda plays along because its fun, but theyre actually just friends (not that Qi would admit that, but Bugs refers to and thinks of him as a friend)

Although she still works in Vega 5, she doesnt particularly love it there. To her, she just has nowhere else to go and the pay and lifestyle of Vega 5 is too much to resist, especially for someone wihtout that many goals.

Qi managed to get her into Gungham and so they have amazing conversations that only come from ADHD-Autism friendships where both people have the same hyperfixation. (I speak from experience when I say its the best thing)

She visits sandrock sometimes because she doesnt know where else to go when she has stacked up vacation days.

She gets very annoyed whenever people dont know what they're talking about, hence her friendship with Qi not really being an issue, because both of them are like this and they both thrive off of each others intellectual energy.

ALSO. Some things about her personal relationships to people in Sandrock:

Her and Grace are dating, mostly because I want Grace to have a girlfriend so bad (I am so starved for sapphic relationships you dont understand). They have been rotating in my brain SO MUCH, so I'll talk about them. This is largely because it would be SO FUNNY.

Their relationship started because Bugs would regularly visit Sandrock, so she would see Grace a lot. Since the Blue Moon Saloon isnt really that busy, they would talk to eachother quite a bit. After a few trips of both of them talking, Bugs decides it would be funny to mess with Qi whenever her and Qi eat dinner later that night, and she thinks the funniest way to do that is by Grace hitting on her at this dinner. Make it real awkward for Qi. I plan on making a comic for this actually SO we will see if it actually gets done. If it does it will be so funny you dont even know (it definetly will not be thats the brainrot talking.)

After that, they meet up outside the Blue Moon Saloon to toast to their success of making Qi extremely confused, they walk around sandrock and sit at the oasis a while. Nothing happens that night, but they both come away from it as deeper friends and a little crush. Not in like, a way that is that noticable, or a way either of them intend on pursuing, but a way that definelty exists. Neither of them are stupid, and both of them tend to do a good amount of introspection, so they both pick up on this and it changes the dynamic a little, but in a good way.

As time goes on, Bugs makes more and more visits to Sandrock, to see Qi of course, but the reason increasingly becomes to see Grace as well. They both flirt with eachother a bit here and there, until Grace asks her out on a date and it ends up becoming a thing. Still thinking of details there BUT! They will be thought of, dont worry.

NOW, For what this relationship means for them both and their similarities and a couple differences:

For both of them, this is the first romantic relationship they have had that really feels like the other person can keep up with them. Both of them are super smart, and they both sort of have unfollowed dreams.

They are also both workaholics discontent with the circumstances they're in, and I feel like they bond a lot over that.

BOTH OF THEM ARE VERY SILLY. Grace, especially if youre dating her, uses a lot of very silly language. Like whenever youre dating, her greeting is "Hey good lookin, what ya got cookin?" She has many many silly lines and I would reccomend reading her dialogue page if you havent already read it all the way through like 3 times. Bottom line is, shes goofy. And Bugs is also goofy. Not in exactly the same way, but like she calls Qi a chatty cathy, thats goofy. AND SOMETHING GRACE WOULD DO IF HER AND QI WERE FRIENDS IN THAT WAY. They would be a very annoying couple and I find that extremely funny especially in the context of them spending a good amount of time with Qi, who probably doesnt pick up on it half the time.

Both of them are the type to distract from their inner turmoil with humor. If you have gone on a playdate with grace or read her entire dialogue page, you would know she does this a non-zero amount of times, quite commonly in fact. Bugs does the same type of thing, but she does tend to talk a lot less than Grace.

Bugs is an introvert unlike Grace, but she can read people surprisingly well. Not anywhere near as well as Grace, of course, but still pretty well.

Both have jobs that end up with them being relatively isolated from personal connections. For Bugs, shes working in a team with a lot of people she doesnt really like, for Grace, she has to keep quiet about her job for the most part. This leads to them having an interesting dynamic in which both of them dont really know how to navigate personal, unguarded relationships super well. Bugs hasnt had any close friends in a long time, and Grace cant turn off her agent brain, oftentimes getting a lot more from Bugs than Bugs would want her to. I have a real thing for relationships where one person is quite guarded and the other person can read them super well, and Bugs and Grace fit this dynamic very well in both directions. Bugs tends to read Grace more than she expects too, not by a crazy amount or anything, but she does catch Grace offguard occasionally, just because Grace tends to drop it more often without realizing it around Bugs.

They have the same sort of (aspiring) archeolegist and researcher dynamic Grace and Qi have (That I touched on here) but romantic so. I think thats fun personally, because its a cool sort of combining of forces. It also hits a bit different from Grace's and Qi's simply because Bugs is a lot more like Grace personality wise.

A couple other relationships in sandrock:

Her and Zeke get along. She visits Zeke sometimes, because of her interest in biology. And I just think they would get along. Not just because she likes plants but I also think she would appricate how Zeke is very knowlegable on what he does as well as desert farming in general.

She doesnt like the church very much (for the innate ideological differences that come with being a researcher), but she still has a laugh with Dan-Bi occasionally.

I like the idea of her getting along with Fang a bit. I think she has at least looked at some of what she uses to make medicine and is like "oh wow thats genius!"

I think she would have a very fun time messing with Yan (because Yan is literally so funny idc what anyone else says I love him so much) I dont think she would like him, but I think she would have fun talking to him every now and then just to prod him (which Yan ofc doesnt notice) for goofs.

I love the idea of her getting along with Unsuur. I cannot explain why. But I think they would be drinking buddies.

Some design notes and how she dresses when shes not in a lab coat:

I had to give her a long lab coat because thats a demographic severely underepresented in sandrock

Her shirt color is pretty similar to Qi's undershirt, it just felt like it fit. Its also half untucked like Qi's, but Bugs does it because she thinks it looks good while Qi does it because hes tired. I dont really know how to draw that sort of distinction, but just know that its there.

Her belt buckle is gold while Qis is silver

Her hairtie is dark blue, Qis tie is light blue. Theres not a whole lot to that I just thought it was neat personally.

Her fashion sense tends to be pretty casual, usually hoodies and shorts while shes in her apartment and pretty normal streetwear outside of it. I dont think that she wears as many belts as the average Sandrock or Portia citizen. Since we havent been to Vega 5, I cant say for sure what the normal fashion sense is like, but based off of Qi and Petra, who are more like the average Vega 5er, and what is known about the culture, I assume regular dress tends to be more busniess casual-formal. I dont count Merlin, who was so eccentric she got kicked out of Vega 5, Or Mint, who seems overly casual, in this assesment. However, Bugs dresses in whatever is slightly more casual than the normal Vega 5 streetwear. Not as casual as Mint, but definetly not formal. She's kind of done with Vega 5's general busniess culture, not done enough to leave, but done enough that she doesnt really care what she wears off the clock if that makes sense.

That is all for my unhinged ramblings. I have a lot of ideas about her and maybe I will actually do something with those, so I thought I should introduce her.

[isabelguerra]

okok happy birthday I really want to know more wizard au stuff but I cannot find your fics pls a link would be much appreciated

also this is just like a free space to talk abt your au literally whatever you've been wanting an excuse for this anon is 4 you happy birthday my friend !!! we're not mutuals but you're like one of two regular pnat people on tumblr which is a bond I Think

THANK YOUUU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!! 💕💕 If it makes you feel better I’m not mutuals with ANYONE. This is a sideblog. Regardless it’s nice to have you here, I’m glad to be one of your few pnat blogs. :)

AND WELL LOL that would be because most of wizard au currently isn’t published! the best place to know more stuff about the au is either in my #wizard au tag, or just asking me! i love to talk about it, and right now it’s a lot easier for me to answer asks in my spare moments. i occasionally post screenshots from my doc files on here, but the fics are taking a backseat while I work on my Job Project.

Alternatively, you can check out:

The Pnat At Wizard School AU I Made When I Was 16 Is Still Fun Unfortunately JKR DNI - This was my first attempt at publishing the writing I’d done, before I got embarrassed and orphaned it, back in 2020. It’s a little outdated but most of it holds up. Boggart fic is one of my favorites.

Pnat Hogwarts AU by Twilighteve. I made wizard AU way back in 2015 with a friend, and twilighteve wrote SEVEN FICS as fanwork. The story now is different and follows Isabel rather than Max, but these are still great fics and I’m very lucky to have had someone enjoy my au enough to write so much for them. Throughout the Tournament is a really fun read.

i cant believe i’ve had this story for like 8 years at this point. i think it’s almost more fun to have as an au on my blog than an actual fic series? looking back whenever i start thinking about The Fics i just get stressed out. i’ve had it as an au since 2015 and i’ve had writing wips since 2018. its nice to have something with me for that long, i think thats why i keep coming back to it? even though thinking about it in terms of Fic Output and Writing Order makes me so stressed. at the end of the day it’s mine. and it’s there for be an outlet for me. if i want to be lazy about it, i can. if i want to put a lot of hard work into it, i can. i get to cozy up before bed and imagine wizjo scenarios.

and seeing how the characters have developed over the years has been weird- like, i wrote a lot of this in 2015. what do you MEAN codys a vampire. what do you MEAN theres whole new areas of the paranormal. its funny but when put next to current pnat you can REALLY see how its dated lol. so much is built on top of the 2015-2016 era headcanons like cody & lisa being twins, or not knowing what the spirit in isabels umbrella was like. we didnt know flipflop yet!!!! hes just not in there!!!!! we didnt know what the BERG was so max isnt a catboy!!! davy doesnt exist!!!!!!!

and there are in-comic background characters that we would talk about and gave names who show up in the au. these two are chasers on the gryffindor quidditch team with isabel & johnny:

& we named them sarah and logan. that might canonically be their names too????? but i cant remember.

Here are some very practical Wizard AU facts:

Story spans from 2nd year when Isabel loses Eightfold to 7th(?) year when they graduate

The biggest reason so much isn’t on AO3 is because theres so much I have no idea how to organize it. For example:

At my current pace, I have ~5 fics based on central emotional beats. In order to keep things interesting for non-izjo readers, I tried adding a little overarching plot

Said plot now vastly overshadows the initial series purpose of a Dorky 6 Year Long Izjo Slowburn

‘Wait I don’t care about this i just want my dorky 6 year long izjo slowburn. but wait, this has lived in my head since 2015, is it even legible to anyone who would just be coming into it?’

~5 central plot fics, each with around 5 chapters at maybe 10k per chapter give or take. is roughly 250k total. even if i do publish this it’s going to take years

What else is there…………. Isabel is really good at offensive magic. She becomes quidditch team captain in their 5th year. Max hates flying on brooms.

Wizjos arc means so much to me.

Their friendship vaguely starts in 2nd year. theyre the quidditch beaters but work horribly together- they argue a lot and dont get along at all, it almost gets them kicked off the team. theyre forced into a situation that pairs them to work together sometime mid semester, and at the end of it they’re still… tense, but have a better understanding of each other? like ‘you annoy me but we had a moment that i would feel bad betraying. i think were more similar than i thought and i dont know how to feel about it yet’. Johnny develops his crush and it’s very strangled because he’s 12.

By 3rd year they’re more cooperative. Getting towards friendly. Theyre teammates AND housemates, so even though theyre in separate friend groups they spend a lot of time together. Still bickering but there’s slowly more and more fun behind it. Less ‘i’ll shove you off your broom’ and more ‘hey maybe if we do x we can shove x off their broom together’. Isabel begins having fun hanging out with johnny because he bites back. It’s stopped being annoying and become ‘oh hes just as conscious (whether he knows it or not) about his image as i am. it’s nice to put that down around someone. and also blast him with wizard lasers sometimes. and get blasted by wizard lasers.’

By 4th year they’re friends and Johnny’s still sitting with his feelings. It’s just a part of daily life. Wake up. Brush teeth. Shut Up Guerra (Hey Guerra). Lunch. Pick on a 2nd year. Meet up with Guerra before practice. Tell that one joke cause it always makes her laugh. Don’t make it obvious how you feel. Don’t let it slip how you feel. Don’t jeopardize this. Don’t do anything that’d make her feel weird. You’re her friend and he likes being her friend so it’s not a big deal. Isabel has slowly been getting more pressure from her grandpa, and every time shes stressed and cant go to her AC friends she goes to Johnny. So by 4th year they’re more or less best friends.

By 5th year they’re a capital T Team. Isabel’s gryffindor captain now and Johnny’s essentially her right hand. He’s there to hold new member tryouts with her, they study in the commonroom late at night, hes so gleeful about her uppity new position that he permanently cements calling her Captain into their teasing nicknames and Isabel hates it. In return Isabel makes him do extra laps, because she can do that now. And then Johnny gets in a non-serious accident and is in the infirmary for a week and suddenly Isabel is confronted with Oh. Oh I Don’t Like This. Oh This Is Bad. He’s fine he just gets like a concussion or something but Isabel doesn’t KNOW that right away and all of a sudden she’s faced with ‘i didnt realize how much of my life you’ve become and i miss you now that youre not there’ ‘…….why do i miss you now that youre not there.’ ‘we have a quidditch match coming up and i dont know if youll be healthy enough to play’ ‘i dont care about the game. id cancel in an instant if it means you wont have to play injured’ ‘………………why did i-’ etc. And afterwards Johnnys FINE but isabel is left with this weird hole in her gut and the reality that In That Situation That Was My Reaction And Those Were My Feelings. She’s confronted with the fact that somewhere along the line, Johnny became someone important to her. And that him getting hurt worried her. Because she cares about his wellbeing. Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she’d want to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble.

By 6th year is when things start kicking into gear. For starters the Triwizard Tournament because I can’t do a wizard au without some wizard deathsports. None of it is directly involved, that’s actually MAX’S B-plot, but a lot of what goes on because of it directly influences the wizjo A-plot.

Now we’re dealing with Johnnys time-tempered feelings that he’s accepted nothing would happen with but are still very alive, and ISABEL, who has JUST realized and has been stewing in her feelings all summer. With no outlet or real processing. Cant even go to johnny about it because well he Is johnny. He’s johnny and he gets under her skin and helps her with her transmutation homework and when she blasts him in dueling class he gets back up with a bigger grin than when she knocked him down. And she’s going to explode, she thinks.

And I’ve talked about this but when Headmaster Boss Leader (lmfao) says the forest is off limits during the tournament, of course they bet who can sneak out and last longer. And of course both friend groups scatter and get lost in the woods and of course who finds each other but. each other. and of course theyre both angry and worried about their friends and on guard bc theyre in the fucking forbidden forest at like 1am. Isabels ashamed that she didnt think more and johnnys grumpy and theyre so so blaming it on each other. Don’t deal with your feelings when you can express them through what you both know best: bickering and riling each other up to get the energy out. Isabels doing all this while trying Not to think about her crush. Johnnys long accepted his crush and that it’s not going to happen. So they are both very very surprised when Isabel kisses him mid argument, much to her horror. She apologizes and they get back to looking for their friends, who find them first. Later that night Isabel decides to apologize properly, because in her mind she let her emotions get out of control and seriously took advantage of him and she feels horrible about it. He’s someone she cares about, even though he probably doesn’t feel the same way, and it was wrong (She’s beating herself up and saying see? heres what happens if you let yourself have nice things. youd be lucky if he even speaks to you after what you did. you cant do this again.). Johnny however hears ‘that meant nothing to me i’m embarrassed and dont read into it’. Which is. Fine. He knew that. He’s known that. Hes big and scary and doesn’t let something like rejection get to him. Especially cause it wasn’t even rejection because she was never interested in the first place! Which he knows! So it doesn’t matter! And he can handle it really well! Yeah sure thing Guerra no big deal why’d she ever WANT to kiss him right theyre not like that! See her at practice ! they both walk away like Glad that was cleared up! [screaming]

This keeps happening. 6th year is when everything thats been boiling starts bubbling over.

isabel kisses johnny and everything gets wobbly. they’re trying to focus on their studies, and quidditch, and maintain that comfortable friendship theyve had since 3rd year, and not think about how nice it would be to try it just one more time. everyone, including the guest students from other schools that are here for the tournament, can see that theyve got something going on, even if they cant. johnny makes an excuse to drape his legs over isabels lap. isabel finds an excuse to grab johnnys wrist, or nudge him on the shoulder. they’re trying to deal with how things used to be and how they are now and how they want them to be and how they feel.

they ALMOST kiss again during wizard prom, which they don’t attend together. but they dont.

and then they have exams in spring. and isabels sooooo confident that she’ll knock out that stupid dog boggart just like she did third year. so she’s pretty shaken up when her grandpa shows up instead and says hes pulling her out of school early. shes too much trouble and hes through putting up with this time-wasting education, its time for her to quit being an embarrassment to him and finish learning the family magic. theres a lot more insults thrown in but thats the jist. and she goes running to the commonroom because not only did all that happen and she’s freaking out, but it happened and she freaked out in front of the entire class. and johnny goes after her because hes worried like crazy and they have a moment and he goes a bit overboard on the whole ‘if thats what your real grandpas like then i dont care who he is hes a jackass. cant he see what an annoyingly massive brain youve got on your shoulders or how youre cracked at strategy or’ and he does that for like 10 minutes while gently rubbing her back and isabel is having another crisis on top of her grandpa crisis. because what she tried so hard to kill is still very much alive. and hes being weirdly soft and comforting and she feels better with him here and its a lot to deal with. And she feels horrible and guilty and she doesn’t want him to stop.

Johnny is trying desperately to break tension and make sure she knows its bullshit. She’s HIS friend! Nobody talks like that about one of HIS friends and gets away with it! Even if it was a creature disguised as her grandpa and not actually her grandpa! SHE deserves to know that it’s not true and HES not gonna stand by it! But shes resisting and hes frustrated and there’s got to be SOMETHING thatll get through her head there’s got to be SOMETHING he can do to show her what he thinks but shes being DIFFICULT and hes BAD AT WORDSTHINKING and- oh okay thats a kiss. To get through her big smart wonderful dense skull. And it’s very soft and very determined to say ‘you’re wonderful. this is how wonderful i think you are. you dont need me to tell you it but please listen please please please if you need to hear it from someone else ill tell you. i dont really know how to in the way you deserve but youre worth learning’. All in front of the couch they spent hours on studying and planning matches on and napping and its warm and isabel is. well. Isabel Is In Trouble.

And then oh. Well. Um. Hello Maxwell. Who Came To Check On Us Because We Were Taking So Long .

frankly i’m still not sure how they sort that one out. johnny awkwardly excuses himself. and sometime before the school year ends they Actually Talk About It

By 7th year theyre together and very happy and very much the school menaces. Turns out avoiding your feelings gets you nowhere when instead you could face them and put your head together and cause all your separate rabblerousery with each other. And also hold hands with your best friend who you meet for breakfast and fall asleep on and spar against and get excited over the upcoming quidditch season with and kiss and sneak out to the astronomy tower with a blanket. isabel doesn’t want to take over franciscos legacy and johnnys like ‘i mean youve been pretty busy buildin your own, cap’. and she thinks. yeah. but itd be um. kind of empty with just me, dont you think?

Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself wanting to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble. Because neither does he.

[basslinegrave]

so i have a week left until doing shit for my thesis project, ...

we were only told to do a tiny presentation and say what we got so far, i have done nothing extra and just wanted to present whatever the fuck i did at school for the past 3 months (with slight tweaks so it fits the focus of my shit) but im reading the document about what we need and theres like. Much more than just that. and i have no idea what even to add to that shit cuz like why are they asking for a list of cited works when i havent even started writing the document (nobody has thats stuff yet, we need the actual thesis for like april)

and then theyre asking for a list of requirements, my despised, which i have no idea what form they want that in (had to do one in the past in like a table and it sucked ass even though i copied the style from other sources) and like. im not working for a company so i dont have an official requirement list so i have no idea what to add there, yikes

i also need an analysis but my topic just doesnt exist in the wild. like theres nothing about this, nobody is asking, its not relevant as its taken as A influencing B meanwhile my work is meant to talk about how B influences A - it doesnt seem to really, which is okay like that could be the outcome! but i have no idea how to start that part of the project if i already know it has no meaning

also the best thing is that we will be given the actual topic details After all this which i just dont understand. what if i start working on this and end up doing something else that im supposed to? how am i supposed to know what to do exactly if i dont have the written document? i already forgot half of what my teacher told me mainly because i had a different idea from the start, since as i mentioned B influencing A isnt a thing it seems

TLDR i have no idea what to do, nothing new, and i thought i can just do the practical things and then write about them, but i need to have something writren Before i even do these. bummer

[currentfandomkick]

Reblogging here as too out of it to tag atm

Danny knew he was doing great—hell, he gets to present his last project for mechanical engineering before he can refocus on making robots programmed to help during crises for medical, evacuation and environmental clean up while being tailored to local needs.

Problem: the team he’s supervising is going on a mission mid-presentation that he cannot reschedule… and none of the others in the JL have offered to cover for him.

Why they keep trying to make Captain Marvel handle it is beyond him—he’s a member of the young justice team because he’s a kid. He’s thirteen now, sure, but he’s still a kid.

And while he loves his truama-bonded gremlins—Bart holding a special place in his heart—he is putting his foot down on sending his feral mentees out without some adult back-up.

“Hey, Canary? Can i talk to you for a minute?”

He noticed since Red Arrow’s relapse a year ago, she’d been the most responsive to his concerns regarding his kids.

“Sure thing, just let me wrap up this report.”

Danny waited. Once she was done, they moved to one of the private conference rooms.

“So, i know my team is scheduled for that raid on the Light next week, and i know its on the schedule that I can’t attend,” he began.

Canary nodded along.

“Is there a reason why another mentor wasn’t assigned?”

She paused at that.

“Another mentor—Captain Marvel is going to be there, so you don’t need to worry Phantom.”

“I kind of do, since he’s got a lot on the civilian side coming up with him finally starting high school a week after the raid.”

Canary froze.

“He what.”

Danny paused. “He’s starting high school—he’s one of the youngest on the team developmentally speaking, even if he got a weird aging side affect to his powers too.”

Canary nodded slowly. “I’ll speak with Batman to get that covered and uh, out of curiosity, what’s your presentation on?”

“Oh! I finished proving the viability of ectoplasm from the Realms being a reusable energy source, and a way to enable a degree of autonomous sentience to technology that can be given different pre-dispositions. its costs benefit analysis to use including maintenance factors, since I passed the biochem minor last semester.”

“College then,” Canary guessed, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Graduate school with a major in mechanical engineering and minors in bio-chem and environmental studies—took years to get back into school after dropping out as a junior during way too many timestream adventures. Why?”

Canary paled. “No Reason. Excuse me.”

She left.

Danny frowned.

—

“Ollie, get Bruce’s ass over here for a meeting. Now.”

“Did something happen with Phantom?”

“Ollie. He’s in grad school, and had ‘timeline adventures. And Marvel’s just starting high school apparently.”

Oliver dropped his phone. “He, he what?”

“Exactly. So, get your bestie’s ass over here as we were all thrown for a loop or he let things go along this far for over a year.”

—-

Billy was a little thrown when the JL called him in. He’s pretty sure he and Danny have done a great job publicly keeping up the ageless champion image as Captain Marvel.

The team was oddly silent as he walked in, except for plastic man doing his usual Bit.

One day he hopes he can be as good an actor as Plas—he’s still not sure why so many don’t remember hiw little he needs to regenerate from or how capable he really is.

“Cap, take a seat,” Flash offered, pulling put his chair before settling back into his own, room still too quiet.

Serious conversation… great.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “Now, what’s the emergency meeting for?”

“You’re not in high school yet,” Green Arrow began. “And Phantom is a graduate student?”

Billy didnt see the issue. “Starting a week after the mission, and Phantom’s graduating a week or so after—year thrown by rouge attacks at his school,” He explained.

Batman hrm’d at that. “It was shut down for a few months.”

Billy nodded.

“You, you are a kid,” one of the lanterns began slowly.

“Well yeah, isnt that why you put me on the team with Phantom? He’s been mentoring me since we met and clocked everything. Why else would we be on Young Justice together?”

The room exploded into a cacophony of sound.

I need a Misunderstanding trope where Phantom is put with one of the ‘kid’ groups because everyone assumes he’s a teen, but Phantom (he’s, like, 28) thinks he’s just like… co-managing/supervising the group with another Justice League member.

Asked if he’s in school thinking high school? He says yes, thinking of college where he’s going for his graduate degree. His grumbles over homework and time management skills cements it.

ICE contact? Frostbite. Yeah, that’s really his name. (Jazz talked him out of putting her because if it’s an emergency then they likely need medical history and support.) Here’s a device to actually reach him. His parents? Uhhh, nah, I would put my sister second.

It just goes on.

The guy snarks, puns, and throws jokes, clearly up-to-date with internet culture. He’s a casual dude, loves video games, burgers, and space. He’s kinda short and a little lanky, but he’s stupid strong (like he both forgets he is strong and doesn’t know his strength at times).

Phantom’s checking all the boxes as a teen hero both visually and on vibes with the League so they put him there. Danny’s touched that they think he’s responsible enough to put him in charge of the kids, so he does his best.

(Batman finds out about the appointment after it’s approved, but before he says anything he sees how much the teens open up around Phantom and… well… if they didn’t do their homework to see that the Phantom persona has been active for 14 years with pop-ups through history then that’s not really his problem, is it? He might miss that Phantom doesn’t realise this for a while…whoops.)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML au: Rich Start AU

(So both Felix and Zoe are present from the start of the series)

-Chloé is still very much the same, but treats Zoé like she did in the season 4 opening (minus the whole tour in Sole Crusher)

-Audrey isnt present yet. And without Marinette reaching out to Zoe, Zoe just does what she has been doing (playing a role)

-Felix and Amelie move into the agreste mansion. Much to Gabriel's disdain. But Emilie was always protective of her family, and Gabriel's hermit nature made him pretty cold to them.

-Amelie noticed how Adrien was being ignored by his father, and encouraged Felix to help out Adrien.

-Felix is still very much the sneaky little gremlin he always is, but in this au two things (1. He and Adrien are still very close. 2. Felix does not know he is a sentimonster like that it was all but said in Gabriel Agreste.) Felix is still suspicious of Gabriel.

-Gabriel does not trust Felix or Amelie, but to get them out of his hair, he makes sure they have what they need, and is more lenient when they ask for things. (despite hating them)

-Amelie isnt as insistent on the rings, since they moved in around origins and (she can get them later)

-Zoe goes to the same school Chloé does. Felix goes to the same one Kagami does. Adrien didnt want to go to a private school, he wanted to go to public school.

-Origins happens pretty much the same, Zoe was secretly impressed with Marinette.

-Felix totally finds out Adrien has a crush on Ladybug.

-Felix and Adrien have their birthday on the same day. (Idk if its true but I am going to say they do)

-Bubbler hits a bit different. Because Amelie is more on top of things. Making mention that Adrien and Felix's birthdays are coming up. Which has Nathalie remember to get Adrien a gift. (so she doesnt take Marinette's)

-Felix gets birthday wishes from his friends in London.

-Gabriel still refuses a party. And nino gets the harsh treatment.

-Lila does come to Françoise Dupont, but she is not in Ms.Bustier's class. So she doesnt have Adrien help her with her lessons. She ends up sucking up to Aurore and Mirelle, who she becomes best friends with (manipulation).

-Marinette isnt crazy about hearing Lila's lies about Ladybug, which is how she knew Lila was lying about everything, but she isnt furious about it and simply just tells Alya she should look into it more. People make up stories about Ladybug and Chat noir all the time. Which Alya does consider (since Marinette has no reason to be saying that)

-Evillustrator is altered, With the new addition of a classmate. The partners are pairs instead of groups of three.

-Marinette is paired with Zoe.

-This is where we get some development for Zoe.

-Marinette is left thinking that Zoe may not be as awful of a person. Since they actually get the project done.

-Felix and Kagami meet much earlier than Adrien meeting Kagami. Which interestingly has them hit it off once she kicks his ass. (Yes this au if Feligami)

-By the time Despairbear happens, Marinette and Company realize Zoe isnt like Chloé and try reaching out to her more. Juleka even invites her to the Liberty. (Potential Luzoe? Lukoe? Luzo? Zoka? Zoeka?)

[bridgyrose]

Watts is tired of clearing Cinder’s mind and he is very busy so he decides to give her a pill that increases her feelings for Ruby and Weiss by 11 so she has no choice but to deal with her feelings

(Since I ended up with two asks for it, I guess I can do these together)

“You want me to do what?” 

Cinder winced as she heard Watts yell at her once more over her scroll. “Salem told you to help me with this part of the plan no matter what, right? I just need you to clear my head again of those thoughts of Ruby and Weiss-” 

“Why cant you just deal with that… little crush you have on your own?” Watts let out a sigh and sat his scroll down as he started to work on another project. “I’ve already done this twice and those feelings keep coming back. Which means either those feelings are deeply rooted into you, or no matter how many times you forget the two of them, you’ll keep finding those feelings for them. If you’re having that much trouble concentrating on your half of things, then maybe we should have Salem pull you out.” 

“No!” Cinder paused for a moment and regained her composure. “I cant be pulled away from here. I can make this work.” 

“Then deal with your crush on your own.” 

“I dont know how!” 

“For the love of…” Watts pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few breaths. “Fine, you want my help? Then I’ll help you. I know someone in Vale who will be willing to take care of your little problem. You just need to bring yourself and those two to him.” 

“And where will I meet him?” 

“I’ll give you all the details when I have things ready.” 

Cinder let out a heavy sigh as the call ended and she leaned against the wall. She had been hoping that once again he could clear her mind and remove these feelings that she had for those two distractions, but part of her realized that maybe he was right. The best way to nip this in the bud would be to deal with it on her own 

“Cinder! Cinder!” 

Cinder groaned and pressed her fist into the wall as she heard Ruby’s voice. This was the absolute last thing she wanted. Her heart started to thump in her chest as she tried to keep herself composed and attempted to keep her blush from showing. “Ruby…” 

“I’m glad you’re alright.” Ruby rushed over, a smile plastered to her face. “With the way you ran off, I thought I did something wrong.” 

“Dont worry, its not you, its me.” Not a complete lie. “Though, I think I need to spend a little time away from you. Again, its not you, I’ve just been… distracted and being around you isnt exactly helping.” 

“Oh… okay, though, I was hoping that maybe you and your team would like to join the rest of my team and team JNPR out in town? Just as a bonding exercise and to maybe get to know you guys a bit better.” Ruby’s cheeks reddened as she started to play with her finger and rocked on her heels. “I’m sure you guys already have a lot of friends, but since you’re still new to the area and visiting, we figured it’d be nice to help you guys get a little more comfortable around here.” 

Cinder felt her heart start to beat a little faster at the prospect of getting closer to Ruby and Weiss. But that was all wrong. Ruby was much younger than her, younger than everyone else at the school. Plus there was the fact that she was her rival, whether she knew it or not. And Weiss… Weiss was everything she hated. She was from Atlas, she was part of the elite that looked down upon anyone who wasnt like her… 

And yet, whenever she saw the two, they were getting along… mostly. Even behind the teasing, there was genuine care between them, care that she hadnt felt ever since that fateful day with the Madame. Ever since Rhodes had told her she’d be running, that is all she had done until she was found by Salem. 

And now, here she was, standing in front of Ruby, who genuinely wanted to get to know her. Who genuinely wanted to be her friend, and she still had no clue how to deal with the influx of emotions swirling around her. “That… would be great but I-” 

A chime on her scroll interrupted her and a small sigh of relief washed over her as she looked over the message from Watts to meet his contact at a warehouse near the docks. 

“-I think that maybe we can go somewhere alone. Just… you, me, and Weiss.” 

Ruby paused. “R-really?” 

Cinder nodded and took Ruby’s arm and started to drag her off. “I have a lot of social anxiety and dont do well with a large crowd. But if I go with you and Weiss to somewhere less busy, like say the docks, then maybe we can get to know each other.” 

“But why the docks?” 

“Because its less busy!” Cinder let go of Ruby’s arm and started to rush off. “Just meet me at the docks and I’ll explain everything there! And make sure Weiss is with you!” 

Ruby slowly nodded, her confusion still building. “Y-yeah, sure. I can… I can do that.” 

“Great! I’ll see you there in an hour!” 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinder tapped her foot as she looked at her scroll, cursing to herself. “Of course Ruby’s late…” With a heavy sigh she looked up as she heard a rush of air followed by a swirl of rose petals. “About time you show up.” 

“Sorry we’re late, I had to-” 

“-she got lost,” Weiss interrupted as she started to straighten out her skirt. “Though she wont admit it because she grew up here.” 

“I didnt get lost, just… turned around.” Ruby sighed. “Look, Vale’s a big city and I’m almost always here at night. Its different to come out this way when its actually light out.” 

“We were here not even a month ago with Blake!” 

Cinder pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened. I cant believe Roman has been stopped by them twice now. “It doesnt matter why you’re late, you’re here now. So we can start hanging out.” 

Ruby nodded a smile starting to show. “Then what did you have in mind?” 

“I was thinking we could go somewhere more private,” Cinder said as she started to head to the warehouse. “Somewhere we wont be interrupted.” 

Ruby and Weiss looked at each other and shrugged as they followed. Once they entered the warehouse behind Cinder, they paused at the empty building. Weiss groaned and finally spoke. 

“And what exactly were we supposed to do here?” 

“I had the same question,” Cinder muttered to herself as she walked in. She looked around for any sign of Watts’ contact as she moved deeper. “I was told this place was still active and that we’d have no problem-” 

Cinder paused as a small ball dropped from the ceiling and exploded into a black mist. She quickly covered her mouth as she looked over to Ruby and Weiss, eyes wide as she watched them cough and drop to the ground. She moved back a couple steps and stopped once she felt herself run into someone and turned around. “T-Tyrian?!” 

“Our dear doctor Watts told me that you were having a problem and since I was… in the area, I figured I’d lend a hand.” Tyrian quickly went behind Cinder and pried her hand off her mouth. “Sweet dreams, Cinder. I’ll make sure you’re awake once you’re needed.” 

Cinder started to cough as her eyes watered and her lungs filled up with the black mist. Her eyelids grew heavy as she breathed more in, and it wasnt long until she lost consciousness and finally dropped to the ground, hearing Tyrian’s laugh as the last thing before her senses faded. 

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[jarpadswalker]

Hey, Anon Stop projecting Jensen negativities on Jared. Spoiled Brat well, If their is a spoiled brat then that would be Jensen... Everything is handed over to him, and he hardly had to work for anything - from modeling, acting career to brewery, and studios. His modeling career was due to his mother, he got his first acting job becoz of his father. He got SPN because of David Nutter, he got FBBC up and running because of CW. He got his music career because of Rob and his band and Creation who gave him a platform to perform in his not so great voice. (100s of singer better than him is waiting for such opportunities)Hell, he didn't even create his own facebook handle even that was given to him by a fan. And Chaos Machine was created all thanks to WB.

He is the one who acts like a child and refuses to grow up, he is stuck in the bully jock high-school phase forever. That is why just Iike high school jock, him being a 44 year old man thought it will be super cool to diss an actress and call her a bitch on something that happened 25 years ago.

With Prequel if the situation was reserved, Jensen would have screamed victim to every media that listened, he wouldn't have done damage control nor would have he let it go like Jared. Hell Jensen is yet to apologize, and that is why outside AA everyone understood his real nature.

Isnt it amazing how none of the Jensen co-star from Dawson Creek or DOOL or any of his previous projects doesn't speak about him. Funny how Jessica Alba didn't find the need to mention Jensen, but Jensen, who is desperate for attention, doesn't mind to drop her name drop. And Just like you, AAs he is an idiot who doesn't realize that talking smack of someone isn't gonna prop his image. If anything with Prequel incident and Jessica Alba incident, Jensen proved that he a typical insecure, jealous, mediocre Hollywood actor who can't do anything on his own so he needs to name drop.

Jared on the otherhand, gets unprompted shout outs from each and every person he has ever worked with. Hell, even con goers admit that it is Jared who makes the con experience worth their dime.

Just so you know, Jensen was the first to work with Misha and when Jared asked about the new guy. It was Jensen who DISSED him and said he was weird. Other time he said he asked kripke why he hired that weird guy. Has a newbie to a crew this thing coming from the lead of the show is discouraging and deeming. Jared atleast have courtesy to acknowledge Misha, his works and his family. Jensen treats Misha like he doesn't exist unless he needs something from him. He hardly speaks about Misha work, of anything he is the first to diss him. He treat Misha as his punching bag and other time he behaves as if he never existed.

None of the prequel mess would have happened if Jensen instead being an Ass, had chose to just inform Jared. And even when he didn't inform, he could have still avoided the mess only if he had not lied to Jared's fan about Jared's involvement. Shit hit the fan when Jensen and kripke stated that Jared couldn't be part of prequel coz he was too busy with Walker. Their is no way a self respecting man will accept someone slandering his name. Especially if that someone is his best friend who called him brother. Jensen is lucky that it was Jared, if someone was at Jared place he would have screwed Jensen and destroyed his image. Btw Jensen has so much ego that he is yet to apologize.

About that, Daddy claims, well Anon remove the goggles and see that it is not Jared, who is sucking up, it is Jensen. Jensen is the one who had to suck up to Kripke to break his dry spell and get a job. He was so bad at it that he needed kripke to cheat in his audition. He couldn't even pass the audition on his own. When SB was done, which was a huge disappointment 😞 btw. he sucked up to his another friend to get a job in Big Sky S3. Also Jared got an holding with CBS and CW had to fight for Walker.

Whereas Jensen he is not only with CW, but he is trying to revive the dead horse called Supernatural just because he isn't able to let it go. He is the one who couldn't get any investors. He was (I dont now post a merger) CW child as he had the studio investing his music endeavors his brewery and his production house. But Jensen lazy ass failed to give 100% to any of the business. The fact that he had no clue of what the EP job was... said it all. It looked like the only reason Jensen took EP title because Jared had one.

so, anon, there is enough proof that shows Jensen true nature and it is quite obvious for general audience.

Jensen in DA is SO GOOD. Alec is my bebe and I love him. He deserves better. Even that proves how good of an actor he is.

I also feel Jared puts Jen down whether intentionally or not. Jen would not be caught dead really insulting Jared but Jpad seems to wear it a badge of honor if he can get Jen flustered.

And don't even get me started on the prequel thing.

That's something I don't think I can ever forgive.

He's not a toddler and depression doesn't excuse bad behavior.

And Jared is the golden child of the cw and I think it's bc he's a spoiled brat. He gets what he wants bc he knows they need him.

Idk. I just hope either Jen goes off at some point or that Jared gets what's coming to him. I'm waiting for his in Icarus moment.

Jensen's going places. Jared has no future outside of Daddy cw.

-Actor

Hello again! Sorry for the delay; it was Very Late when we were speaking earlier, and I didn't see your notification come through before I was conking out for the night :) It was nice to find waiting for me though!

And yes, absolutely; Alec was an awesome character, and I cannot stress that enough! He was done unfortunately dirty by the situations on set --- now that is an irl situation that I've heard a lot about --- but I really liked what they were able to produce in spite of that. I loved the friendship that developed between him and Joshua, especially (though it'd be nice if that X-5 from his past missions had been able to stick around for longer, so he wasn't quite so isolated). Also, though it isn't saying anything about Alec, per se, I loved 'Pollo Loco'; it was one of the few s1 episodes I really enjoyed.

I will be the first to confess that I don't know as much as others about Jensen's and Padalecki's irl interactions, but I've seen a number of clips from conventions and the like, and I've had the same impression. Given that these were just clips I came across looking at neutral tags on Tumblr, the fact that a random sample of these all left me with the same impression definitely tends to suggest that there's a statistical prevalence for that kind of behavior. Additionally, those bits I have seen --- his tantrums on Twitter, his thing about "anyone could have played Dean", being negative towards Misha (e.g. calling him a servant "jokingly" when he brings Jensen a beer, etc), and --- lest I be called biased again --- even the non-Jensen-centric bits of vitriol I've seen on Padalecki's social media.

And. The prequel thing. I feel like that speaks for itself.

As for the rest, I think it's probably easiest just to say that I agree (and I can feel the stans readying their keyboards for more threats, so keeping this brief is probably a good idea). We'd been talking earlier about the pride before the fall, but I like your term: Icarus moment. And yeah, for now, Padalecki's at least treading water. Maybe that'll last for a while --- especially given that he has an entire army of people willing to fight for him, for some (not so) unknown reason --- and, if it does, I guess I congratulate him. Fooling a large number of people is, after all, the main job that an actor's supposed to accomplish and, personally, I can't help but feel that he's managed it to some degree. After all, convincing this many people he can act is an impressive trick!

[cuddlesslut]

Alrighty lets get started!! So i still really new to this so as to not overwhelm my self im going to try and stick to two charcters for now. I’m sorry if its not what your looking for. For the two im going to do my boys Suga and Daichi. Only because i just did Kuroo and  because im still trying to figure out how to write for Reon. I might however come back and write a part 2 with them. 

Prompt : Boys reacting to their tom boyish crushes all dolled up (Daichi & Suga)

just sayin i wrote this while drinking mojitos

P.S. this prompt reminds me of a series called Sinful Sweethearts by @thosenerdy3amthings​ so definitely go check that out!!

Warning: NSFW, FOUL LANGUAGE

Daichi Sawamura NSFW

you have know Daichi basically your whole life

growing up next to him your parents were very close which meant that you two were kept close together 

in fact until you made it to middle school and started playing volleyball for the girls team you had never had any other friends beside Diachi

so it was safe to say that growing up you were more on the boyish side

you were just more comfortable in sweats and baggy workout shorts than skirts. 

you even wore pants to school

even  highschool though you went to a different school Diachi stayed your closest friend you often finding yourself at the Karsuno practice after yours had ended.

 No matter how much your teammates fussed they couldnt convince you to ditch the large hoodies and sweats.

 You and Daichi always supported each other. you never missed his games and he never missed yours (as long as scheduling permited)

the third year boys often teased Diachi for his realtionship with you

“i dont know why yall dont just date already,” suga complained while daichi stated his usual reply “ shes my best friend you know its not like that” he huffs

Suga scowls “ first of all rude im supposed be your best friend, and second it cant be as just friends as you say when you get so protective when the seond years simp for her.”

“i just dont want her feeling weird around the team. you know Noya and Tanaka can be intense,” he explained

“still that doesnt acount for the way Y/N looks at you,” Asahi added to the convo

“what are you talking about Y/n doesnt look at me any special way, we’re just friends ,” daichi stated a little to forcefully almost as if he was convincing himself.

Suga and Asahi share a knowing look thinking about how their captain can be so dense. 

“any way are you ready for your  birthday party tomorrow night ,” Suga asked smiling brightly.

“i told you i dont need a party,” Daichi scolded for the fifth time today.

“ahh c’mon its not everyday you become an adult like the rest of us DI,”

finally admitiing defeat Diachi concluded the conversation.

...

it was finally the next day you were more nervous for this party than any volleyball game you had played.

and here you were standing in the tight black dress Suga with the help of your team, you should never wager against suga

Had convinced you to wear to diachis party tonight

still shell shocked you stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom Suga had chose.

It was weird to see yourself so girly

the black dress clung tight   to your body. leaving little the imagination.

Suga better be glad he won that bet

finally calming yourself you look around for your best friend

Finally catching sight of him Diachi stood with Suga and Asahi next to the bar of the club.

Suga was the first to recognize you a evil smirk hitting his face as he drew Diachis attention to you.

You couldnt help but notice how hot he looked in his button up and dark wash jeans, his shirt clinging so close to his chest.

he looked to damn good you thought as you bit your lip

little did you know the birthday boy was having an epiphany of this own

his eyes raked up and down you mind wandering 

had you always had such a great ass under those baggy sweats

“Happy Birthday Captain,” you teased.

Daichi took a sharp breath suddenly taken back by the way the title fell from your soft lips

all he could think about was how you would sound screaming that from under him.

lost in thought he missed the smirk his best friend had as Suga put his pan into motion

you stood there sway to the beat of the loud club music wanting to dance

“Y/n why dont you take the birthday boy for a dance,” 

you smiled before Diachi could protest saying how how he doesnt dance

you pulled him to the dance floor pushing your ass against him reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him close to your body as you grinded to the beat

his hands found their place on your hips  

his cock twitched from the pressure of your ass in that short tight dress rubbing against his crotch

you were not helping his growing situation

bodies getting lost in the movement 

you looked up at the boy had been your best friend your whole life with one thought in you head

the same thought flashed into diachis brain

being bold he crashed his lips into yours 

Lost in the contact the kiss lasted forever getting more and more intense 

your not sure how you to got here

but here you were straddling Diachi in the back of his car

his lips sucking bruises into your neck, his large grabbing your ass as you bounced on his thick cock

“FUCK,” Daichi breathed heavily pulling you down into a sloppy kiss tongues exploring “ youre so tight come for me beautiful.”

“im so close Captain you moan feeling him stretch you.

thats it that one word flipped the switch for him he gripped tight on to your waist to hold you secure as he powerfully drilled his hips up into you.

hitting your spot deeper and with such accuracy you were both driven over the edge as you clinched tight around him pulling his release from him.

you both sat out of breath in the hot car, the widows fogged and the smell of sex stinging the air.

“happy birthday,” you said giving him a quick kiss.

he glanced at the watch on his wrist 

he smirked up to you “you know my birthday isnt over yet,” you smiled already liking where this was going. “lets head back to mine. I’m not done with you yet.” 

Koshi Sugawara Slight NSFW

He’s had a crush for you since the beginning of the school year

He thought you were the most adorable thing he’d seen 

with your sweaters that were  two sizes to big. (sweater paws)

You two became friends through a writing project. 

you too quickly hit it off you loving his wild humor 

its sometimes seemed like hed flirt with you but you figured it was just his personality and you were too shy to do anything

poor suga spent so much time flirting with you but you never paid it any attention so he figured you didnt view him that way and he was okay with that he just wanted to be your friend if nothing else.

and so thats how six months went by of being no more than friends

always returning Sugas simple firsts with a shy smile.

It wasnt until the celebratory party some random third year threw to congratulate the boys on making it to nationals

You sat at your best friend Kyioko’s house. 

This was the first party she was able to convince you to attend and she was making sure it counted.

there would be no big sweaters or jeans tonight 

tonight you were borrowing Kyiokos clothes. 

She dressed in a tight (favorite color) lace halter crop top with the lace exposing just the right amount of cleavage. and a pair of blaack shorts hugging your hips thighs on full display.

it wasnt what you were used to this being the most skin you had exposed to the public in years

thats coupled with the make up added to your face you almost didnt recognize yourself

it wasnt what you were used to and thats why when you reached the party and all eyes landed on you. you were slightly relieved that most of the people didnt recognize you.

it was almost exhilarating 

kind of like playing pretend.

like tonight you werent Y/N shy and closed off

you were a sexy and confident woman

that coupled with the shots you took with Kyioko. you found your new confidence 

thats why when you saw you long time crush and close friend Suga across the room you didnt hesitate to make your way over.

“No way is that Y/n” Daichi gasped causing Sugas attention to slip to where his best friend motioned. “wow i didnt expect to see her here,” Diachi let out with a low whistle.

Suga sucked in a sharp breath not prepared for the sight in front of him.

There you were making you way towards him throw the crowd. a smile on your face but it was hard for suga to focus on that smile when your whole body was on display for him. 

 His eyes trailed from down your figure taking all of the exposed skin that was normally hidden from him. 

the way the lace framed your stomach and cupped your breast. the cut into shirt showing him the most cleavage you had ever shown. moving his eyes down it was hard for him not to whimper at the site of your thighs

this man was entranced in your appearance. hed always thought you were the most beautiful even when you were covered head to toe, but seeing you like this it was hard not to drool.

And he wasnt the only one, Several guys had taken notice of you.

Some stopping you to ask if you were new,  cause there was no way’d theyd miss a hot babe like you at school. 

to which youd just roll your eyes keeping on your way to your target. 

feeling more and more emboldened by the attention you were receiving.

but these boys werent the ones you wanted

being the light weight you are you already had your eyes on your prize

go big or go home 

so you you strode right up to the vice captain

“ W- wow Y/n you look great,” Suga stuttered 

“thanks Suga,” you say placing your hand on his toned forearm

No turning back now the confidence was here to stay atleast for now

Suga took a deep breath as he took a turn being the shy one. not used to the aura you exuded. were you really the shy girl he knew. 

you moved closer enveloping him in a tight embrace

he could feel you tits press tight against him and he was trying not to focus on it not wanting to further anymore of the dirty thoughts crossing his mind

 staying close next to Suga you continued your flirtatious assault

dishing back all the flirts you had held back over the months

Finally the straw broke when one of your favorite club songs played through the crowed house and you pulled him close to dance with you.

“c’mon Koshi dont be so timid,” you teased. 

Suga wasnt sure if it was hearing his given name grace your beautiful lips or the facts that you had pressed your ass against his crotch moving seductively to the music but he snapped. 

Suga placed his hands tight to your hips pulling you closer to him not caring if you felt the growing bulge in his pants.

leaning down “you know if you wanted my attention you didnt have to dress so damn sexy. now i have to deal with all these vultures looking at you,” he whispered his breath hot on your ear.

you turned around wrapping your arms around his neck leaning even closer, 

“then why dont we go somewhere private then we wont have to worry about who’s looking,” you smirked heart racing

“i couldnt have said it better,” Suga said leading you out of the busy room ready to have you to himself. 

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Sorry It took so long to write all my work got deleted and I had to start over! I hope you enjoy it 🍵 Anon!!! 💕💕 @🍵anon

Taglist: @emiyummy @insomniish

[dropoutparty]

ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5

here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:

tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3

ok lets get on with the post

at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.

now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.

after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).

anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.

zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!

the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.

now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.

NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.

its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,

anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.

anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).

moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.

gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).

anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!

now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!

anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!

the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.

as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!

basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.

[sw33t-oubliette]

OKAY STRAP IN BITCH/AFF THIS GETS WILD

it starts with me evan writing a letter to himself, which his therapist told him to do to improve his confidence, letter got put into text here, and then the absolute BANGER that is anybody have a map starts, i cant do it justice by explaining it just listen to it

and uuh its about evan an connor's moms trying to figure out how tf to handle mentally ill teenagers-

evan and connor bump into eachother at school and connor pushes him and sets off WAVING THROUGH A WINDOOOOOWW

AND !!!!! the whole falling in a forest part is about how uh.*clears throat*.he attempted suicide in a forest by jumping off a tree.thats how he broke his arm

ANYWay after that he starts writing letter 2 which you can read here

after he writes letter 2 connor signs his cast, VERY plot important

then connor confronts evan abt letter 1 which he found in the computer lab, ends up not giving it back, this is where it gets . very Dark

connor kills himself . and they find evans letter to himself and assume evan was their friend. connors parents ask evan about it and he denies it but theyre like "BUT LOOOK !!! YOUR CAST !!!!!! THEY WERE BESTIES ABSOLUTELY" and evan HAS to confirm the allegations because how do you even convince them otherwise.

time skip evan gets invited over to dinner and . for forever starts

evan says they had emails to eachother and he HAS to keep making stuff up and now him and jared have to make fake emails . jareds reaction to this is "yknow his parents think you guys were gay lovers right" which isnt plot relevant but i lost my shit the first time i watched it over that ok anyway next thing

evan and jared start writing the letters, starting SINCERELY, MEEEEEE

evan shows connors parents the emails, family argument shit happens, connor's sister zoe drops this absolute amazing song

evan and zoe talk in connors room, evan has to keep carrying the lie, WAHHHH SONG AGAIN, IF I COULD TELL HER

time skip, everything went back to normal FUCK everybody forgot abt connor his memory fucking disappeared, "once theyve forgotten about me, what do you think happens to you. i mean nobody cares about people like us", DISAPPEAR STARTS

evan gets forced to do a speech at an assembly abt connor, fucking bombs it man .rolls up into a ball mid stage and fucks it all up. but the speech gets posted to the connor project website (the connor project is a project dedicated to keeping connors memory alive that alana [not related to anybody],evan and jared run) WHOP ANOTHER SONG .STARTS SINGING MID STAGE AND IT GETS CARRIED ON AFTER THE VIDEO GETS PUT ON THE WEBSITE

and uuuuh at the end of the song . wahhhhh evan and zoe are dating now .ok

ACT ONE DONE. WE'RE NOT DONE YET WE STILL HAVE A WHOLE NOTHER ACT . IT GETS WORSE

alana and evan start a fundraiser to reopen the apple orchard, jared makes up more shit for the made up shit and evan shuts it down, FUCK EVANS MOM FINDS OUT ABOUT EVERYTHING THEYRE ARGUING, evan apparently doesnt have anxiety issues anymore (HES FUCKING LYING HE VERY MUCH DOES), evan and connors dad bonding which leads to a song:

zoe goes over to evans house, the anxiety issues he VERY OBVIOUSLY STILL HAS appear again, ANOTHER AMAZING SONG

next day FUCKING ALANA IS PUTTING UP THE EMAILS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ON THE WEBSITE

jared hates evan now fuck

akward ass Murphy and hansen family meetup, oh my god theyre paying for evans college, evan is literally having a mental breakdown on a chair off to the side, okay evans mom denied the college stuff, ALERT THE MOMS R FIGHTING

oh no. the angst is happening. song time i . guess.the song explains all you need to know

https://open.spotify.com/track/7FIrk5lA1IalpZ3OtieeC8?si=4Ai_0wOSTy6hzOZjfPVo4g

evan considers just coming clean like he should but fucking cant . "HOWD YOU BREAK YOUR ARM EVAN. DID YOU FALL OR DID YOU LET GO.". everythings going downhill. he wrote a fake suicide note WHICH IS LITERALLY JUST LETTER 2 WHICH IS SO GENUINELY TRAGIC. the murphys are fighting again. hes telling the truth now uhoh its all falling apart . song commences

https://open.spotify.com/track/32bZDrurIGh2Cts0l2tRtL?si=5xF6Z_LXQ0uaOCV6jbbfDA

evan self depreciation time, ANOTHER SONG

https://open.spotify.com/track/5M2LiZ8SmRFWl1IJ0F7JNR?si=3zHBRVPFSryUkpfqNkYPxg

okay literally crying as i type this

its the end now. Timeskip, zoe talks to evan at the apple orchard, evan is still severely fucked up, honestly nobody got that much better mentally, another song and its a Mashup of other stuff from earlier and you know im a sucker for that

https://open.spotify.com/track/7vU9VpbmB4ZoztAigpXLlJ?si=RF4BccKlSh-4QZbXXs4Qgg

and thats. it. i honestly probably sucked explaining this im so sorry go watch the og musical on youtube (theres multiple slime tutorials of it it wont be hard to find) bc i did not explain that well i think

somebody who knows barely anything or nothing about dear evan hansen please ask me about it because 1 i want need to infodump right now and 2 its so fucking shocking if you know nothing about it and i need to be the person to tell you about it because i know everything abt it(literally evan irl) and im objectively right abt it (literally evan irl part 2)