#school projects isnt even done yet

[seolooo]

scratching my balls, also check out the fanfic made by @/thatcoollesbian 'clean up on aisle 7' because this is basicly a fanart about it (its also joyxiety wink wink)

[noctilu-uca]

This little freakster is apparently really really courteous and gentlemanly as said by the nrc students. He uses very highly respectable honorifics for EVERYONE even the people his own age (hes 16-ish i think) and is generally a very polite person and speaks eloquently. So very eloquently that it gets really odd since we rarely see that type of speech from someone so young in twst. As we know, halloween fanatic. BIIIGGG halloween fanatic. his hometown apparently worshiped jack skellington and saw him as the creator of halloween so basically grew up in weirdly halloween religious town. At school he was very ostracized (assuming he didnt go to school in his hometown, dont know if its NRC or RSA, best to assume its not) because the students dont share his interests and find him weird. Ended up in a book, the book his IDOL jack skellington resides in, forgotten by history, yet he aimlessly wandered the forest and never opened the holiday doors despite it being the only thing different in the forest

Theres many theories, skully might be dead, might be a ghost, OOORRR. a fae. there is many things that supoort these theories because. 1. Skully doesnt seem to have the same background knowledge as the NRC students. 2. doesnt seem to know the existence of very common things in twst, things that even the 700+ year old lilia remembers very well and can recount the change of expresison over time (magic stones). 3. He seems to think people dont know about halloween, or at the minimum gets OVERLY excited and surprised that people know of the *existence* of halloween. Theres more thingd but i cant remember them right now

But me ? What i think ? I think skully just grew up in an overly conservative town and he doesnt really *know* the outside world and its perspective because its all hes known. Of course my knowledge is limited bc this is a jp event WAAHHH but i know enough to make a decent inference

Despite being halloweens no.1 fan. Hes very odd about its expression...? He had odd rules, i dont remember them all but it was weird things like ALL BLACK. NO COLOURS. NO CANDY. NO MUSIC. NO DANCING. THIS IS SERIOUS AND SHOULD BE RESPECTED.

Anyway my point is that his expression of halloween is very serious very conservative and is almost treated like a wake or a funeral of some kind tbh. He also said that the "bad" ghosts should be beaten away despite halloween being the celebration of ALL ghosts (NRC students fought him on this one) which kinda just shows theres some moral "sin" he believes exists with halloween. Of course, expression is always subjective and hes free to do whatever he wants but he gets wayyy too upset when someone tries to go against whatever rules he places down for halloween. Way too upset. Ofc the NRC students (leona) weren't *always* nice about expressing their objections but it was still odd. He romanticizes halloween (much like how jack romanticizes christmas) yet turns it into something you would see at a weird church ? Hm.

And even with all that, he met jack !! His idol !! Wow omg !! But the thing is, when jack is planning halloween for the year skully actively dislikes his ideas. Despite idolizing him. Of course he goes along with it anyway because wow idol but, again, really odd

So my thoughts on this predicament, skully grew up in a religious, small, conservative town. And when he moved out and explored the world he was met with ostracism, and when he found an escape (the book) he dug himself into his fixation and refuses to leave the world hes built himself. He rarely talks about his outside world experiences, rarely talks about his hometown unless its in reference to his fixation. His views stay stuck with the conservative approach despite being told time and time again that it isnt the *right* way to approach. Even, indirectly, by his own idol whom he had been projecting onto. But even with people pointing out his skewed ways, he stays stuck. Refusing to redirect his approach and stay with what he has always done and always wanted to do.

Escapism and reality are very big themes im seeing, thats all.

I COULD BE SO WRONG PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CORRECT OR ADD INFO IM NOT CONFIDENT ABOUT ANYTHING I AM POSTING ABOUT THIS GUY I LEARNED THIS ALL SECOND HAND AND DIDNT LOOK BACK FOR REFERENCE THIS IS STRAIGHT HOT OFF THE NOGGIN !!!!!

[mihai-florescu]

Kaname's mom and Subaru's dad (Kaname's idol fanatic mom jumping on stage and then falling to her death at Subaru's dad's concert, top solo idol at the peak of the industry, leading to uncovering of past misdeeds, his arrest, deteriorating health and death. Kaname isnt told what happened but knows he needs to be an idol because it's the thing his mom loved best, and Subaru spends his whole life under the threat of his dad's legacy, thinking he will meet the same fate as his dad. And yet he still chooses to pursue being an idol to make people smile, starting from his mom. In a funny twist of fate, decades later Kaname is attacked by the non special student body of Reimei when they're shown a video of his mom's sins being a catalyst of That Akehoshi's decline. But when a video accusing Subaru of being his dad's son is projected at the biggest idol event of the year, he is protected by the friends he's made, escaping the same fate.)

Madara's parents and Kanata's mom (Madara's parents with their numerous connections helping Kanata's mom fake her death to set her free, to escape the cult worshipping her. Madara spending his entire youth trying to destroy the cult and give Kanata back his humanity, feeling like he's failed because he couldn't do it on his own when it was never a task that could be done alone in the first place)

Izumi's parents (They're controlling Izumi throughout his childhood to follow their wishes and expectations of him, but Izumi chooses one thing for himself that they don't agree with - Makoto. Eventually he grows up to follow in his parents' footsteps by trying to control Makoto himself to protect him from potentially getting hurt)

Jun's dad and Nagisa's "dad" (Jun's dad raising him to be a solo super idol that can defeat Jin, but Jun only flourishes when he joins a unit with Hiyori and stops seeing being an idol as a duty. Similarly Nagisa being raised to be the next supreme idol, finding warmth and a family in his unit instead of being alone at the top)

Wataru and his adoptive parents (who didn't pay much attention to him, leading to Wataru constantly learning new tricks to outdo himself until eventually he couldn't be understood by those around him anymore...)

Arashi's parents (individualistic and uncaring, leading to her developing the big sis persona to not let others feel unsupported as she was growing up)

Tsumugi and his mom (who has failed, got scammed by religious organizations and brought trouble to the point of divorce, and despite it all, Tsumugi can't give up on her, his mom who was for a long time the only stable connection in his life. Tsumugi who learns the signs of a scam and to avoid them. Tsumugi who is in charge of the SNS at school where the students start railing against Kanata's religion and recognize him as a fake god. Tsumugi who develops a big bro helpful persona to make himself useful. Tsumugi who considers becoming a teacher because of it, who gets confronted by Natsume "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, or have you forgotten that's the same vocation your mom failed at?" Tsumugi who is very much aware and had decided to make a separate path for himself, one continuing as an idol in Switch, even before Natsume's words.)

Man. Enstars characters and the relation to their parents, the expectations, subversions, accidental following in their footsteps etc. I couldve worded this entire post so much better and added more characters, but you get the gist. This is all just my understanding, if you think anything is off please let me know. And I did not mention every character so if you think I missed something important also share.

[tfshouldidohere]

ok so

oh shes CRAZY crazy

[box953]

What do you think Hilbert would do if he survived and got to return to Earth with everyone? Considering the fact that, had he lived, he would’ve found out that Decima wasn’t working (yet?), and it was actually Lovelace’s alien blood that gave Eiffel those regenerative powers (fingernails growing back and such) AND that Pryce and Cutter were going to use his virus to wipe out the entire population of Earth.

Would that be enough for him to break down and give up on his life’s work? (If so, what alternate career paths do you envision for Hilbert? (That one I’m asking because it’s fun to imagine him as a gardener or high school chemistry teacher; but also: how would he make sense of his life now? When he can’t in any way pretend that all the sacrifices were worth it?) Or would the alien blood thing just give him new ideas for how to improve the virus?

(Of course, with these questions I am assuming that despite Kepler officially pulling the plug on project Decima (and Hilbert seemingly accepting that, even if only because acceptance is “what’s necessary to survive”) and Hilbert choosing *helping the mutiny* over *transporting his brain back to Earth via the salami chair* - Hilbert didn’t actually give up on Decima, and would immediately resume the project if given the chance (or would just work very hard in order to get that chance.))

And what does Lovelace do when they get back to Earth? Re: making him pay for what he did and all that.

i actually have a lot of thoughts about hilbert living long enough to realize all his work meant absolutely nothing. I answered an ask similar to this over here :)

Honestly, it feels like a good alternative end to his story where his work isnt forcefully ended because he died, but it still ends because he finally realizes his work is a lost cause. That truly no one believed in it and it has had essentially no results that weren’t just death. I want several decades of his misguided and harmful actions to catch up to him in one instant and cause him damage.

But like. I earnestly cant think of anything else he’d be doing back on earth. I can see him helplessly trying to keep ahold of his project and looking for resources but they just killed the people who were immoral and powerful enough to let him continue it. Imagining just like.. a slow degradation of his confidence over time.

As funny as the concept of him being a highschool teacher is, that feels like the last place he would go. Highschool classes generally feel like putting 25-30 Doug eiffels in one room and why would you do that to him, really.

and also like? I dont know if he has the qualifications to do any sort of job like that. I don’t know how easy it would be to find him any job. He’s not a real man, after all. He’s had his entire identity changed who knows how many times, and has done. So much. Illegal shit. Even if whatever’s going on at Goddard stays off record he still lived an entire life of experimenting with the decima project beforehand.

Maybe he gets a comfortable sum of money from Goddard futuristics (as id imagine they all do, when returning back to earth. As an ‘apology’ and a ‘please keep quiet about this’ thing.) and then he’s just living and doesn’t have to get a job or anything and he has no project left to dedicate his life to and now he just has to… live. And then there’s the crawling realization that he is not a person and he has no aspirations or goals or earnest hobbies or anything that can entertain a normal man living a normal life. I just think the idea of people who have sacrificed themselves for one goal, living long enough to move past that goal and realizing they have to keep living is very interesting to me. The concept of trying to be human again for the first time in a while. That’s more painful to me than dying in ignorance.

As for Lovelace, i think it’s important for her to realize that nothing she could do could harm Hilbert more than whatever he’s going through right now. I think it’s important that she just moves on even if Hilbert is still alive on this Earth. The podcast nods to unfortunate narrative parallels between these two, where she has more of Hilbert’s harshness and willing to do what ‘needs to be done’ with the si-5 than she’d like to admit. I feel like her moving on from a need for vengeance with Hilbert can be like her moving past those parallels, and just.. being a better person than he is.

And again, pertaining to my thoughts that Hilbert having to live with himself after losing his project is more of a painful end than dying, I think she could find a similar understanding that killing Hilbert would be a mercy. And he doesn’t deserve to die and to stop thinking about all the harm he’s done.

[actualbird]

hi zak! I saw the tags you left on a reblogged post about Luke and suffering in relation to catholicism and that made me think. one of my classmates used to mention "the catholic guilt" (particularly about having desire), and I just thought it fits Luke so well. He felt so guilty about loving Rosa (and leaving her alone...) for so long T-T. Also, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about catholic and filipino luke if you'd like to write about it!

irt to these deranged tags i left on this post abt suffering as salvation and luke forever ago, screencapped below for reference

hello hello! sorry this response took Ages but now im finally down to answer this so....

//steeples hands.....is luke pearce catholic coded? to Me, yes, and ive been casually throwing around this concept ever since 2021 HAHA. the filipino bit is actually just me projecting, so i wont go too much into that, but the religious bit Is something i wanna talk about. and i apologize in advanced for how long this response is gonna end up being

quick disclaimer b4 i start tho: im Not a theologian or an expert in religious theory, im just some guy who went through over a decade of catholic school and lives in the philippines, a primarily catholic country. this whole response is not saying "catholicism bad." it's more the institutions from where we experience catholicism from can twist it into something harmful, and i got to experience that first hand and how it affects one's view of themselves

ANYHOO, LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING

like....the Beginning beginning

part 1: in the beginning, adam and eve did an oopsie so now we're all saddled with original sin (i swear this is important to luke pearce, bear with me)

quick recap on those who are unfamiliar: in the book of Genesis, god told adam and eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. and then they did. this was the first ever sin in the history of humankind, and it is inherited by all humans through birth. so like, yay, happy entrance into the world, newly born baby child! you are guilty of sin already. this original sin is most usually absolved though through baptism, so it's not too much of a problem. but what im interested here is less of the nitty gritty semantics and more of the concept this all puts forth:

that under catholicism and similar denominations, a child, somebody who has not done any wrong at all, is inherently tainted by sin

now, the Good reaction to sin or any wrongdoing one has done is to recognize it and to atone for forgiveness. and within the "recognition" part is where guilt lies. functionally, guilt has a purpose. it makes us realize that we had done something wrong, it makes us feel remorseful, and it adds motivation to atone, to turn a new leaf, and to be better. in healthy amounts, guilt is useful and a natural part of being conscious over the things you do. and in unhealthy amounts, guilt is agonizing.

but thats for stuff you actually Did.

if the thing you are guilty for isnt actually something you were responsible over, the guilt cant do anything to make any of it better. you cant be a better person from it, because you didnt even do it. it just sits there, making you feel horrible for something that was out of your control. but because guilt is a Good thing to do, it doesnt matter if it's functional or not. it needs to stay. because it's Good, and the sin youre saddled with (whether or not you were responsible) is Bad

now let's bring in luke

luke's parents died when he was very young. this led him to living with mc's family, and a huge insecurity and fear he had from the beginning was that he felt guilty for burdening them, for stealing the love and care from mc's parents when that shouldve been for mc alone. the story SSR Shape Of You goes into this particular childhood experience extensively (and i highly reccommend it to anyone who hasnt read it yet), and tells us that his guilt was so bad that he wanted to run away and even erase himself from existence.

but luke didnt even do anything wrong

at the time, he was a child. he had no bearing whatsoever in the accident that killed his parents, he had no sway over who wouldve ended up looking after him, he had no control over the situation. like a newborn baby born under catholic doctrine, luke finds himself inherently tainted by and guilty for the circumstances that landed him to where he was.

this kind of pattern is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and the concept of inherent sin and inherent guilt begins to evolve. if luke can find himself guilty for things out of his control, then he can also find himself guilty for things that arent even sins in the first place

key example: love

like you said, luke feels immense guilt over loving mc. but why? love is the opposite of a sin, afterall.

it's just a sin when luke does it. because luke sees himself as inherently bad, and sees mc as inherently good. he sees himself as unworthy of her or someone who will just bring pain into her life, and causing pain someone you love is bad. if love is the knife he uses to hurt someone he loves, then that love is bad. that love should not be realized, and luke should feel guilty for even yearning for her.

by this point i think it's obvious that original concept has become twisted and overly punishing, even cruel. and thats because:

a lot of institutions teach catholic doctrine in an unhealthy and harmful manner. this is why many catholics and lapsed catholics experience The Catholic Guilt(TM). what was originally a pretty reasonable thing gets blown out of proportion from the places we learn these things from, and then getting exposed to this for majority of our lives lets it worm its way into our brain where it'll tend to stay

and if one's brain also has a tendency for self hatred and/or mental illness........well. it all gets worse.

it's clear in canon that luke is uhhhh not the most mentally well individual. his guilt is so overwhelming that it's the driving force in so many of his choices, stories, and experiences. which is big reason #1 for why luke just seems so catholic to me, because of the sheer intensity of his guilt and how he sees himself as inherently bad and unworthy.

but in the roadmap of sin, thats only the beginning. because the process goes:

sin (bad) -> recognition of the bad aided by guilt (good) -> atonement to become better (good)

which leads to big reason #2

part 2: suffering, pain, and misery as atonement

it's important to note that catholicism does not posit that "suffering is good", but there is a clear pattern of veneration for people who endure suffering under noble causes. many, many people in catholic history have been martyred (and many also sainted), one of the biggest examples being jesus himself.

pain is not good, but someone who chooses to take it on for good reasons (self-sacrifice, martyrdom, putting others above one's self) or stays good in spite of all the pain they experienced (unwavering faith, a heart of gold), well, THAT person is good.

however, like a lot of stuff in catholicism, things get twisted into extreme variations because of how it gets taught or experienced. it doesnt take a genius to see how "people who endured pain for good reasons were brave and devoted people" can transform into "to experience pain is inherently noble" when you take into consideration that many sins (like, of the seven deadly sins variety, pride, sloth, lust, etc etc) are variations of indulgence.

specifically over-indulgence, yes, but there's a dichotomy now. here, in the list of Good Stuff are things that feel not-so-good, and over in the list of Bad Stuff are things that do feel good

bad stuff is a sin, and from part 1, sins are things you should be guilty for

and now, to feel good is also bad, so you should be guilty for that. which reinforces the concept that to feel bad is good.

congratulations, you've unintentionally glorified suffering and demonized pleasure! //sad trumpet noises

you can see this kind of thinking pretty clearly in luke pearce. there are the big examples like the previous one i brought up, where he feels so guilty for his feelings for mc. but it appears even in smaller casual situations, like in his 1st birthday event story. this moment was seared into my brain

"can i look forward to this?" is indicative of hesitating in the face of happiness. even something as mundane as anticipating a birthday surprise is something to be approached with caution, feels too good to be true, to be allowed, because feeling good is bad and luke doesnt see himself worthy of it

but okay, we're all guilty now of the horrible sin of enjoying life. what comes next? atonement, becoming better, growing from the bad to become good, right?

and what better way to cleanse one's self from the sin of feeling good but through the nobleness of enduring pain?

luke is guilty over the sin robbing burdening mc and her family -> thats okay he's leaving for college anyway! wont be able to burden them there -> oopsie the NSB happens but hey at least this lone wolf suffering is a great way to atone for his past sin -> oh god the guilt of abandoning mc though -> oh GOD the mission that killed everybody but him -> NEW ACHIEVEMENT: SURVIVOR'S GUILT ON TOP OF THE CATHOLIC GUILT! -> oh GOD he's even guiltier now of his feelings for mc because of his illness, he'll only bring pain to her, how selfish of him to have feelings like this, bad and wrong -> the best way to handle this is to stay away from her to let her live in peace (lacking the pain that luke will bring) and deprive himself of her who brings him joy (inflicting pain of separation onto sinner as punishment) -> the path to salvation (to being good, because only in being Good is someone worthy of love) is through constant suffering and endless self-deprivation

kinda insane how luke's self-perceived sins and self-inflicted sufferings gain compound interest of misery, but his spiral into self-loathing is littered with this kind of nonsensical "because i did [THING], i should deserve pain/NOT deserve happiness"

for luke, suffering became the mode of atonement, it became the solution for sin and guilt.

part 3: conclusion

to wrap this all up, i wanna make it clear that i dont necessarily think luke is like, catholic in the story. nor is even it a headcanon i have. it's more that the intensely self-punishing thought patterns luke has in relation to guilt and suffering are very, very familiar. it resonates in a way that is horridly relatable to people who have experienced these specific catholic experience woes, but it can also resonate in completely different ways to other people as well.

but given that....yeah. based on my own experiences, all this //gestures at too-long response, is why i keep using catholic language and imagery whenever i talk about luke. it's so familiar. he's so familiar. luke would not be out of place in a filipino catholic high school crying during a 3 day retreat

thanks for the ask!!!

[battleangel]

💉💊🗑️Addicted To Trash🗑️💊💉

Food scraps take up the most landfill space in the US. Think about that for a moment & process it. As much food insecurity as there is in the US. As many people that die from poverty & from hunger.

The millions of children that face an empty refrigerator & empty pantry every day after school. That don't have money for lunch and don't have access to a free lunch or lunch voucher program.

The parents that skip meals multiple days in a row so that their children can eat.

The sugar sandwiches, cereal with water, knocking on neighbors doors begging for food.

All so Americans that have more than they'll ever need can throw out more than they can ever eat while millions are food insecure and starve within the same country.

Buy loose fruits & vegetables at a local food market, buy food with minimal packaging, only purchase groceries & food items that you actually need & will use & avoid delivery, take out, fast food, fast casual, eating at a sit down restaurant, coffee & donut shops.

Per Google: Food waste accounts for 6% of global greenhouse gas emissions.

According to the Environmental Protection Agency, food scraps are the number one item sent to landfills in the United States.

Food waste accounts for 22% of municipal waste in the U.S.

We discard more food than any other country, even as the number of people experiencing food insecurity grows.

Food waste, which includes everything from meat and fish to fruit and vegetables, can take anywhere between one month and a year to decompose.

However, food decomposition can take longer in a landfill while releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

Americans are addicted & brainwashed. You can literally go days and even weeks as an American during hotter months without encountering air that hasnt been artificially cooled. Brainwashed!  Im 42 and my grandparents in rural Georgia that I visited and stayed with for a month every year as a kid didnt have air conditioning. Yet todays modern American life claims it isnt possible yet I did it for a month every year in my youth.

Per Google: Air conditioning, heating & refrigerators are the biggest wasters of energy in American households. The cooling industry is important, but it is also incredibly polluting – accounting for around 10% of global CO2 emissions. That is three times the amount produced by aviation and shipping combined. And as temperatures around the world continue to rise due to climate change, the demand for cooling will increase too.

The average American sets their AC to 68 to 72 degrees which is fucking absurd and ridiculous.

Set air conditioning to 78 to 80 when you are home and 80 when you are asleep and not home. 

I set my AC over the summer even during the current heat wave to 80 — I dont have central air in my 1 bedroom apartment, I have wall units in my living room & bedroom.

Use fans, wear light/minimal clothing or go naked inside your home (Ive done this) and drink 64+ ounces of water a day.

The average American keeps thermostat during winter at 72 to 80 degrees which is fucking absurd.

Per Google: Heat and air contributing to nearly half of a home’s energy usage. Today, 90% of American households have air-conditioning. America is addicted to home heating and cooling, consuming more energy for air-conditioning than the rest of the world combined.

Keep thermostat during cold months at 68 degrees. Layer clothing and wear blankets inside. 

Per Google: In the same report, the I.E.A. predicted that worldwide energy use by air-conditioners would triple by 2050, “requiring new electricity capacity the equivalent to the combined electricity capacity of the United States, the E.U. and Japan today.” 

The number of global cooling devices is estimated to increase from 3.6 billion to 9.5 billion by 2050, according to a report by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) and the IEA.

Without radical changes to the cooling industry, HFC emissions are projected to contribute warming equivalent to 20% of CO2 output in 2050, the UNEP report warns.

However, some say that refrigeration could be the number one way to reduce carbon emissions. 

Per Google: Much of the world’s recent growth in cooling capability has been an adaptive response to global warming. The problem is self-perpetuating, because the electricity that refrigerators and air-conditioners run on is mostly generated by burning fossil fuels. 

Part of the problem with refrigerants, however, is that much of the harm they cause is after we as consumers have finished using them. It occurs out of sight, and so largely out of mind.

Roughly 90% of refrigerant emissions occur at equipment’s end of life, according to Project Drawdown, a nonprofit that analyses climate solutions.

The most common HFC found in domestic fridges is HFC-134a, which has a global warming potential 3,400 times that of carbon dioxide. A typical fridge can contain between 0.05kg and 0.25kg of refrigerant, which if it leaks into the environment, the resulting emissions would be equivalent to driving 675km-3,427km (420-2,130 miles) in an average family-sized car.

Refrigerators are responsible for about 4% of a home's emissions, or 89 kg of CO2 per year.

The correlation between growth in efficiency and growth in consumption is not accidental.

Similarly to air conditioning & heating, if you've noticed a trend, just setting the temperature a few degrees higher/lower can make an extremely significant difference in terms of energy consumption, greenhouse gas emissions & your contributions to climate change.

Do people care enough to change their respective thermostats just a few degrees?

Set your refrigerator to between 35 and 38°F, and your freezer to between 0 and 5°F.

A refrigerator that's 10°F colder can use up to 25% more energy.

Ironically, as climate change progresses further, our home heating and cooling needs will continue to increase in order to insulate us from extreme weather.

"Ironically" or by design?

Home heating is the single largest source of power consumption in the home, and air-conditioning is the third.

Further, air conditioning in the U.S. accounts for 5% of total energy consumption annually, and releases approximately 100 million tons of carbon dioxide into the air.

When we asked Americans whether they program or adjust their home thermostats before they leave the house, an overwhelming majority (73%) said they do not.

The solution to so much environmental damage caused by Americans ridiculously blasting their central AC & heat is right in front of their faces and is blindingly obvious yet the mindless ecocide continues.

Why? Because you don't want to be slightly unfuckingcomfortable?

Layered clothing + blankets & lower setting central heat = Winter

Lighter minimal clothing + fans + higher setting central air = Summer

It IS that easy.

I do it every summer & winter in my 1 bedroom apartment.

Why don't 73% of Americans?

Because they don't fucking feel like it, that's why.

Avoid disposable products & avoid single use products.

Avoid ordering delivery & takeout & avoid buying food & drinks at restaurants, fast casual, fast food as it produces single use containers, cups, straws, utensils, napkins.

Avoid food packaging.

If you buy prepackaged snacks, consider making them yourselves — homemade granola bars, pop tarts, trail mix recipes, etc. can easily be found on Pinterest.

•Replace plastic water bottles with water filter + stainless steel thermos bottle. •Buy items with less packaging. •Purchase reusable containers. •Minimalism — buy needs only, not wants. •Repair instead of replace items. •Buy refurbished tech & electronic devices. •Go paperless - paper accounts for 40% of landfills in the US - 40 fucking percent!

Makeup wipes take 100 years to decompose.

Stop using make up wipes & use water, soap & a face towel instead.

Clothes can take up to 40 years to decompose!

Stop buying new clothes.

Buy used clothes only when needed from thrift shops, consignment shops, Goodwill, online thrift shops, Depop, Mercari, Poshmark.

The micro mininskirt I am wearing now is from Wet Seal and I got it when I was 17 over 25 years ago.

Outside of a missing button, it is good as new and I wear it all the time.

Stop with fast fashion.

Stop buying Shein, Fashion Nova, Romwe, Zaful. Stop going to the mall. Stop buying Forever 21 and H&M. Stop going to department stores. Stop buying Macys. Stop shopping at outlets. Stop buying from Nordstrom Rack. Stop buying clothes on Wish & Amazon.

Use and reuse the clothes you already have.

When they are no longer wearable, buy used clothes only — never new — from a thrift shop, consigment store, Goodwill or Depop, Poshmark or Mercari.

Stop buying new clothes!

Batteries can contaminate soil indefinitely -- use rechargeable batteries.

Sanitary pads are made of plastic & can take up to 800 years to decompose. 800 years!

Replace sanitary pads with period underwear (I use Proof) with ob tampons without applicators (what I do) or period cups with a stem to remove & insert (boil & sterilize after each cycle) or menstrual discs.

Pads & plastic tampon applicators have toxins, chemicals & pesticides that have been proven to cause excessive menstrual bleeding (heavy periods since 11 stopped when I switched from Always pads & Tampax tampons with plastic applicators to Proof Period Underwear & ob tampons without applicators), uterine cancer, fibroids, tumors & other reproductive issues.

Washer machines are also a problem.

Dryer sheets arent biodegradable — stop using them.

Doing laundry in a washer machine releases microplastics into the environment which ends up endangering, harming & killing oceanic creatures and polluting the ocean.

Handwash clothes when you can.

Do not own a washer and dryer as you will be encouraged to wash laundry more due to it conveniently being located inside your home.

Instead, opt for a living space without a washer and dryer (like my 1 bedroom apartment that Ive lived in for 10 years).

Limit trips to the laundromat to once a month or once every other month. Rewear clothing.

You dont have to “throw away clothes as dirty” after one use.

If it isnt stained or smelling, rewear it repeatedly.

Only go to the laundromat when you are out of clean clothes to wear.

I go about once a month to every two months.

If you already have a washer and dryer in your home, limit your use of them as much as possible.

Disposable diapers take 500 years to decompose.

500 fucking years.

Use cloth diapers.

Per Google: Yard waste is one of the top ten waste items in US landfills.

Per Google:

By weight, grass is the biggest component of yard waste, averaging half of all yard waste.

Leaves and brush each provide one quarter.

Either dont have a yard & dont live in a house as living in a house is itself wasteful, a climate change driver & overconsuming energy to simply even heat & cool such a large space.

Or if for some bizarre reason you feel you "need" a house or if you already own a house with a yard, do the following per junkloggers.com: When you mow, “grasscycle” by leaving grass clippings on your lawn instead of bagging then. The clippings will return nutrients to the soil instead of taking up space in landfills. Donate healthy plants that you want to replace to community gardens, parks and schools. Using recycled materials such as compost and recycled hardwood mulch help remove yard waste from landfills and reduces the “footprint” of your own landscape.

Follow the 5 Rs: •Refuse: Maximalism, consumerism, materialism & overconsumption, FOMO, sales & clearances, shiny new toy syndrome, shopping to impress others, trends, advertising that has intentional hypnotic messaging, includes brainwashing tactics, seductive messaging, endless repetition, psyops elements, psychological warfare to buy what they are advertising & selling. •Reuse: What you already have. •Reduce: What you buy & use therefore you will have less to throw away and recycle. •Repurpose: Fix broken glasses like I did, dont buy a new pair. I just bought a glasses repair kit for a few dollars versus wasting money on a new frame, new lenses & the fuel that would have been wasted to deliver the new pair of glasses to me. Repurpose gift bags & use reusable grocery bags as totes. Reuse junk mail and newspaper as gift wrap. •Recycle: Aluminum is indefinitely repurposable but takes 800 years to biodegrade. Wash out containers, check recycling numbers, separate items.  Recycling uses oil!

Keep in mind that Exxon and the oil industry relentlessly promoted recycling before it became ubiquitious because oil is needed to recyle.

Recycling uses a huge amount of energy and is itself a contributor to climate change.

Its important to do all five Rs.

Dont just mindlessly buy use throw away recycle like big oil and capitalism endlessly brainwash you to do. All those times that you threw trash away as a kid in school, did you ever think where it was going? All those times your dad took the trash out and left it by the curb when you were young, did you ever think about where that trash was going? Did you ever think about landfills? Oceanic pollution & waste? Air pollution & air quality? Non biodegradable waste? Greenhouse gas emissions? Methane gas emissions? Landfills burning? Mountains of trash? Ofcourse not. If youre American, it was, out of sight out of mind. Im 42. When I was in school playing sports, it was throw out the empty plastic Gatorade bottle and back to softball practice. Back to track practice. Throw away trash, return lunch tray, on to my next class. Mindless. Brainwashed. Addicted to trash. Air quality near landfills is also poor and can be hazardous to humans and wildlife. The unwelcome sights, sounds, and smells of landfills make life unpleasant for nearby residents and reduce the land’s purpose. Overfull landfills may require clearing arable land and forests to create more room. Mindless. Brainwashed. Addicted to trash.

A plastic straw takes 400 years to decompose.

Did you ever think about that on your birthday at the McDonalds playground as a child as you sipped on your Hi-C Orange from your plastic straw?

Programmed.

Plastic wrap takes 1000 years to decompose.

Do you think about the amount of plastic used to wrap bottled water, packaged items, consumer goods? Or do you buy, consume, use, throw away?

Mind controlled.

Ziploc bags take 1000 years to decompose. Did you think about that as a kid in the cafeteria when you removed the PB&J sandwich that your mother made for you every day?

Brainwashed.

Stop vacationing - airplanes, cruises & automobiles are enormous drivers of climate change. Stay local - go to a library, state fair, amusement park, carnival, museum, science center, have a staycation - movie marathon at home etc, take a local class - dancing, pottery, painting, etc., visit local farms & parks.

Deprogram yourself from the belief that you need to take annual vacations, summer trips, tropical vacations, exotic vacations or that you “need to get away” —

Get away from what? 

Zombified.

Avoid driving as much as you can. Automobiles and the fossil fuels to drive them are a huge contributor to climate change. Wherever possible, do not drive and use as minimal gas as you can. Walk, ride your bike or a scooter, skateboard, roller skate or rollerblade or take public transportation where available if you have to use a car try to carpool or rideshare. Question if you really have to go wherever youre driving and is it worth the additional contributions youre making to climate change. 

Can you recreate wherever youre going at home? Can you watch the sporting event on TV, stream the concert, watch the movie when it releases to VOD? Do you need to meet up in person or can you do a video call on Twitch or Whatsapp if they are not a walkable distance from you? Can you cook instead of eating out? Can you take an online class vs driving to the class? Can you walk to a local food market vs driving to a grocery chain or big box retail store?

If you dont need to drive where youre going, dont drive.

There are millions of cars on the roads in America every day contributing endlessly to climate change so if you dont have to contribute dont and minimize your contributions as much as possible. If you can sell or donate your car then do so. If you live in an area with minimal public transportation, then drive it as little as possible. 

Stop going out to just go out or socialize or be seen as its pointless & unnecessary. 

Do your hair yourself and/or cut your hair off (I shave my head bald every 3 to 6 months) & stop driving to the hair salon.

Shave your eyebrows (what I do) and stop driving to the nail salon to get eyebrows waxed or threaded or stop shaping your eyebrows.

Stop painting your nails (what I do) or paint them yourself and stop driving to the nail salon.

Stop buying new stuff and stop driving to the mall.

Stop eating out and stop driving to restaurants.

Stop getting massages and stop going to massage parlors.

Go paperless wherever you can and stop going to the post office.

Stop going to bars and nightclubs, its pointless & a waste of time.

Eliminate bars, nightclubs, shopping malls, restaurants, movie theaters, hair salons, nail salons, massage parlors, post office, grocery stores, big box retail from your life and that should minimize the driving you do.

Dont have children.

By far, human beings are the biggest contributors to climate change so why would you ever willingly produce one (or more than one) given the amount of ecological destruction & climate change humans have already caused?

If everyone avoided having children, we could voluntarily make ourselves go extinct and save planet earth vs the current trajectory of the earth being inhabitable within 100 years and then humanity colonizing Mars and then other planets then destroying those planets in a few thousand years then moving on to the next.

Wash rinse repeat. Stop the cycle.

People are financially rewarded for ecocidal practices so this wont stop so we need to voluntarily stop ourselves and stop reproducing and stop endlessly propagating our species — human — that has been responsible for over 75k animal species going extinct, the destruction of the ozone layer, climate change, greenhouse gas emissions, endless landfills, deforestation, oceanic & air pollution, etc. 

Leather shoes & rubber leather soles take 50 to 80 years to decompose.

Buy flats and wear them until they are unusable. Once that occurs, buy new flats.

You should only be doing this once every few years like I am.

If you stand at work, buy high quality sneakers and only replace when they are breaking down.

I havent bought shoes in over five years & sneakers in over ten years.

Cut hair off like I do and stop using any hair products.

I shave my head bald every 3 months and do not do any hair maintenance. I dont use shampoo, conditioner, grease, oil, moisturizer, hair wraps, brushes, etc and as you can see my hair is perfectly fine.

Buy refurbished tech & electronic devices.

Dont ever buy new.

Look up cobalt mines in Congo and how the materials to make batteries for cell phones, EVs, TVs etc (cobalt) is causing a genocide in Congo as it is the only country that has this mineral so Apple, Samsung, Tesla etc desperately need it for their devices.

Look up the warlords fighting over these mines and the civilians being murdered as a result.

Look up the conditions of the cobalt mines — they employ women and children, no protective gear is issued despite them working in underground mines, no labor laws so they are working 12 to 16 plus hour shifts up to seven days a week exposed to dangerous conditions, toxins, chemicals with no protective gear, clothing or eyewear, they are worked like absolute slaves and are dying in these mines.

They are literally dying for your pink iPhone.

Fuck IKEA. Stop buying furniture to impress people who don't give a fuck if you live or die much less what your fucking furniture looks like.

Per Google: Most furniture is made of non biodegradable & non recyclable materials like treated wood that can't be recycled.

It takes treated wood years to decompose, and any synthetic fabrics from covers or cushions also take a long time to break down.

A polyurethane seat cushion will take up to 1,000 years to decompose.

Only replace furniture if it is broken beyond the point of repair.

In ten years of living in my 1 bedroom apartment, I have only purchased furniture once.

Dont purchase furniture to impress people, for entertaining purposes, to keep up with your social circle, to flex.

Brainwashed. Mindless. Addicted to trash. Consumerist.

Overconsumption. Materialistic. Out of sight, out of mind.

Who cares if we destroy earth, we're colonizing Mars.

An 80 year human life is worth more than 75k extinct animal species and is worth thousands of tons of plastic that will take hundreds of years to break down in landfills and 6 football fields worth of forests being destroyed via deforestation.

Speciesism is cool as long as its humans being valued among all other species on the planet and even the planet itself.

Ecocide is cool. Environmental damage is whatever.

The destruction of the environment is just part of my brat girl summer.

Has anyone seen MaXXXine?

Who are the greys, Reptilians, minders & keepers?

[trash-can-sam]

Ive finally made a sandrock OC (KIND OF) I havent just stolen the design of and put somewhere else. and I really want to talk about her. So here she is.

I wanted to give some lore to this character Qi mentions 3 times

AND now shes in my brain, so Ill say some things about her:

She wanted to be a biologist but ended up going into the same type of research job Qi's in because it paid more

Qi and Bugs went to college together and ended up working pretty closely on a few projects, maybe even had internships/jobs at the same place for a while before Qi moved to Sandrock.

She got the nickname Bugs because she would always pick up random bugs in elementry school and the name just kind of stuck. She prefers it to her actual name (which I have not thought of yet because names are hard)

Qi says that they are rivals, but I dont think thats actually true given how much they talk. I think its a lot more like a one sided rivalry where Qi has decided shes his rival and she just kinda plays along because its fun, but theyre actually just friends (not that Qi would admit that, but Bugs refers to and thinks of him as a friend)

Although she still works in Vega 5, she doesnt particularly love it there. To her, she just has nowhere else to go and the pay and lifestyle of Vega 5 is too much to resist, especially for someone wihtout that many goals.

Qi managed to get her into Gungham and so they have amazing conversations that only come from ADHD-Autism friendships where both people have the same hyperfixation. (I speak from experience when I say its the best thing)

She visits sandrock sometimes because she doesnt know where else to go when she has stacked up vacation days.

She gets very annoyed whenever people dont know what they're talking about, hence her friendship with Qi not really being an issue, because both of them are like this and they both thrive off of each others intellectual energy.

ALSO. Some things about her personal relationships to people in Sandrock:

Her and Grace are dating, mostly because I want Grace to have a girlfriend so bad (I am so starved for sapphic relationships you dont understand). They have been rotating in my brain SO MUCH, so I'll talk about them. This is largely because it would be SO FUNNY.

Their relationship started because Bugs would regularly visit Sandrock, so she would see Grace a lot. Since the Blue Moon Saloon isnt really that busy, they would talk to eachother quite a bit. After a few trips of both of them talking, Bugs decides it would be funny to mess with Qi whenever her and Qi eat dinner later that night, and she thinks the funniest way to do that is by Grace hitting on her at this dinner. Make it real awkward for Qi. I plan on making a comic for this actually SO we will see if it actually gets done. If it does it will be so funny you dont even know (it definetly will not be thats the brainrot talking.)

After that, they meet up outside the Blue Moon Saloon to toast to their success of making Qi extremely confused, they walk around sandrock and sit at the oasis a while. Nothing happens that night, but they both come away from it as deeper friends and a little crush. Not in like, a way that is that noticable, or a way either of them intend on pursuing, but a way that definelty exists. Neither of them are stupid, and both of them tend to do a good amount of introspection, so they both pick up on this and it changes the dynamic a little, but in a good way.

As time goes on, Bugs makes more and more visits to Sandrock, to see Qi of course, but the reason increasingly becomes to see Grace as well. They both flirt with eachother a bit here and there, until Grace asks her out on a date and it ends up becoming a thing. Still thinking of details there BUT! They will be thought of, dont worry.

NOW, For what this relationship means for them both and their similarities and a couple differences:

For both of them, this is the first romantic relationship they have had that really feels like the other person can keep up with them. Both of them are super smart, and they both sort of have unfollowed dreams.

They are also both workaholics discontent with the circumstances they're in, and I feel like they bond a lot over that.

BOTH OF THEM ARE VERY SILLY. Grace, especially if youre dating her, uses a lot of very silly language. Like whenever youre dating, her greeting is "Hey good lookin, what ya got cookin?" She has many many silly lines and I would reccomend reading her dialogue page if you havent already read it all the way through like 3 times. Bottom line is, shes goofy. And Bugs is also goofy. Not in exactly the same way, but like she calls Qi a chatty cathy, thats goofy. AND SOMETHING GRACE WOULD DO IF HER AND QI WERE FRIENDS IN THAT WAY. They would be a very annoying couple and I find that extremely funny especially in the context of them spending a good amount of time with Qi, who probably doesnt pick up on it half the time.

Both of them are the type to distract from their inner turmoil with humor. If you have gone on a playdate with grace or read her entire dialogue page, you would know she does this a non-zero amount of times, quite commonly in fact. Bugs does the same type of thing, but she does tend to talk a lot less than Grace.

Bugs is an introvert unlike Grace, but she can read people surprisingly well. Not anywhere near as well as Grace, of course, but still pretty well.

Both have jobs that end up with them being relatively isolated from personal connections. For Bugs, shes working in a team with a lot of people she doesnt really like, for Grace, she has to keep quiet about her job for the most part. This leads to them having an interesting dynamic in which both of them dont really know how to navigate personal, unguarded relationships super well. Bugs hasnt had any close friends in a long time, and Grace cant turn off her agent brain, oftentimes getting a lot more from Bugs than Bugs would want her to. I have a real thing for relationships where one person is quite guarded and the other person can read them super well, and Bugs and Grace fit this dynamic very well in both directions. Bugs tends to read Grace more than she expects too, not by a crazy amount or anything, but she does catch Grace offguard occasionally, just because Grace tends to drop it more often without realizing it around Bugs.

They have the same sort of (aspiring) archeolegist and researcher dynamic Grace and Qi have (That I touched on here) but romantic so. I think thats fun personally, because its a cool sort of combining of forces. It also hits a bit different from Grace's and Qi's simply because Bugs is a lot more like Grace personality wise.

A couple other relationships in sandrock:

Her and Zeke get along. She visits Zeke sometimes, because of her interest in biology. And I just think they would get along. Not just because she likes plants but I also think she would appricate how Zeke is very knowlegable on what he does as well as desert farming in general.

She doesnt like the church very much (for the innate ideological differences that come with being a researcher), but she still has a laugh with Dan-Bi occasionally.

I like the idea of her getting along with Fang a bit. I think she has at least looked at some of what she uses to make medicine and is like "oh wow thats genius!"

I think she would have a very fun time messing with Yan (because Yan is literally so funny idc what anyone else says I love him so much) I dont think she would like him, but I think she would have fun talking to him every now and then just to prod him (which Yan ofc doesnt notice) for goofs.

I love the idea of her getting along with Unsuur. I cannot explain why. But I think they would be drinking buddies.

Some design notes and how she dresses when shes not in a lab coat:

I had to give her a long lab coat because thats a demographic severely underepresented in sandrock

Her shirt color is pretty similar to Qi's undershirt, it just felt like it fit. Its also half untucked like Qi's, but Bugs does it because she thinks it looks good while Qi does it because hes tired. I dont really know how to draw that sort of distinction, but just know that its there.

Her belt buckle is gold while Qis is silver

Her hairtie is dark blue, Qis tie is light blue. Theres not a whole lot to that I just thought it was neat personally.

Her fashion sense tends to be pretty casual, usually hoodies and shorts while shes in her apartment and pretty normal streetwear outside of it. I dont think that she wears as many belts as the average Sandrock or Portia citizen. Since we havent been to Vega 5, I cant say for sure what the normal fashion sense is like, but based off of Qi and Petra, who are more like the average Vega 5er, and what is known about the culture, I assume regular dress tends to be more busniess casual-formal. I dont count Merlin, who was so eccentric she got kicked out of Vega 5, Or Mint, who seems overly casual, in this assesment. However, Bugs dresses in whatever is slightly more casual than the normal Vega 5 streetwear. Not as casual as Mint, but definetly not formal. She's kind of done with Vega 5's general busniess culture, not done enough to leave, but done enough that she doesnt really care what she wears off the clock if that makes sense.

That is all for my unhinged ramblings. I have a lot of ideas about her and maybe I will actually do something with those, so I thought I should introduce her.

[currentfandomkick]

Reblogging here as too out of it to tag atm

Danny knew he was doing great—hell, he gets to present his last project for mechanical engineering before he can refocus on making robots programmed to help during crises for medical, evacuation and environmental clean up while being tailored to local needs.

Problem: the team he’s supervising is going on a mission mid-presentation that he cannot reschedule… and none of the others in the JL have offered to cover for him.

Why they keep trying to make Captain Marvel handle it is beyond him—he’s a member of the young justice team because he’s a kid. He’s thirteen now, sure, but he’s still a kid.

And while he loves his truama-bonded gremlins—Bart holding a special place in his heart—he is putting his foot down on sending his feral mentees out without some adult back-up.

“Hey, Canary? Can i talk to you for a minute?”

He noticed since Red Arrow’s relapse a year ago, she’d been the most responsive to his concerns regarding his kids.

“Sure thing, just let me wrap up this report.”

Danny waited. Once she was done, they moved to one of the private conference rooms.

“So, i know my team is scheduled for that raid on the Light next week, and i know its on the schedule that I can’t attend,” he began.

Canary nodded along.

“Is there a reason why another mentor wasn’t assigned?”

She paused at that.

“Another mentor—Captain Marvel is going to be there, so you don’t need to worry Phantom.”

“I kind of do, since he’s got a lot on the civilian side coming up with him finally starting high school a week after the raid.”

Canary froze.

“He what.”

Danny paused. “He’s starting high school—he’s one of the youngest on the team developmentally speaking, even if he got a weird aging side affect to his powers too.”

Canary nodded slowly. “I’ll speak with Batman to get that covered and uh, out of curiosity, what’s your presentation on?”

“Oh! I finished proving the viability of ectoplasm from the Realms being a reusable energy source, and a way to enable a degree of autonomous sentience to technology that can be given different pre-dispositions. its costs benefit analysis to use including maintenance factors, since I passed the biochem minor last semester.”

“College then,” Canary guessed, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Graduate school with a major in mechanical engineering and minors in bio-chem and environmental studies—took years to get back into school after dropping out as a junior during way too many timestream adventures. Why?”

Canary paled. “No Reason. Excuse me.”

She left.

Danny frowned.

—

“Ollie, get Bruce’s ass over here for a meeting. Now.”

“Did something happen with Phantom?”

“Ollie. He’s in grad school, and had ‘timeline adventures. And Marvel’s just starting high school apparently.”

Oliver dropped his phone. “He, he what?”

“Exactly. So, get your bestie’s ass over here as we were all thrown for a loop or he let things go along this far for over a year.”

—-

Billy was a little thrown when the JL called him in. He’s pretty sure he and Danny have done a great job publicly keeping up the ageless champion image as Captain Marvel.

The team was oddly silent as he walked in, except for plastic man doing his usual Bit.

One day he hopes he can be as good an actor as Plas—he’s still not sure why so many don’t remember hiw little he needs to regenerate from or how capable he really is.

“Cap, take a seat,” Flash offered, pulling put his chair before settling back into his own, room still too quiet.

Serious conversation… great.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “Now, what’s the emergency meeting for?”

“You’re not in high school yet,” Green Arrow began. “And Phantom is a graduate student?”

Billy didnt see the issue. “Starting a week after the mission, and Phantom’s graduating a week or so after—year thrown by rouge attacks at his school,” He explained.

Batman hrm’d at that. “It was shut down for a few months.”

Billy nodded.

“You, you are a kid,” one of the lanterns began slowly.

“Well yeah, isnt that why you put me on the team with Phantom? He’s been mentoring me since we met and clocked everything. Why else would we be on Young Justice together?”

The room exploded into a cacophony of sound.

I need a Misunderstanding trope where Phantom is put with one of the ‘kid’ groups because everyone assumes he’s a teen, but Phantom (he’s, like, 28) thinks he’s just like… co-managing/supervising the group with another Justice League member.

Asked if he’s in school thinking high school? He says yes, thinking of college where he’s going for his graduate degree. His grumbles over homework and time management skills cements it.

ICE contact? Frostbite. Yeah, that’s really his name. (Jazz talked him out of putting her because if it’s an emergency then they likely need medical history and support.) Here’s a device to actually reach him. His parents? Uhhh, nah, I would put my sister second.

It just goes on.

The guy snarks, puns, and throws jokes, clearly up-to-date with internet culture. He’s a casual dude, loves video games, burgers, and space. He’s kinda short and a little lanky, but he’s stupid strong (like he both forgets he is strong and doesn’t know his strength at times).

Phantom’s checking all the boxes as a teen hero both visually and on vibes with the League so they put him there. Danny’s touched that they think he’s responsible enough to put him in charge of the kids, so he does his best.

(Batman finds out about the appointment after it’s approved, but before he says anything he sees how much the teens open up around Phantom and… well… if they didn’t do their homework to see that the Phantom persona has been active for 14 years with pop-ups through history then that’s not really his problem, is it? He might miss that Phantom doesn’t realise this for a while…whoops.)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML au: Rich Start AU

(So both Felix and Zoe are present from the start of the series)

-Chloé is still very much the same, but treats Zoé like she did in the season 4 opening (minus the whole tour in Sole Crusher)

-Audrey isnt present yet. And without Marinette reaching out to Zoe, Zoe just does what she has been doing (playing a role)

-Felix and Amelie move into the agreste mansion. Much to Gabriel's disdain. But Emilie was always protective of her family, and Gabriel's hermit nature made him pretty cold to them.

-Amelie noticed how Adrien was being ignored by his father, and encouraged Felix to help out Adrien.

-Felix is still very much the sneaky little gremlin he always is, but in this au two things (1. He and Adrien are still very close. 2. Felix does not know he is a sentimonster like that it was all but said in Gabriel Agreste.) Felix is still suspicious of Gabriel.

-Gabriel does not trust Felix or Amelie, but to get them out of his hair, he makes sure they have what they need, and is more lenient when they ask for things. (despite hating them)

-Amelie isnt as insistent on the rings, since they moved in around origins and (she can get them later)

-Zoe goes to the same school Chloé does. Felix goes to the same one Kagami does. Adrien didnt want to go to a private school, he wanted to go to public school.

-Origins happens pretty much the same, Zoe was secretly impressed with Marinette.

-Felix totally finds out Adrien has a crush on Ladybug.

-Felix and Adrien have their birthday on the same day. (Idk if its true but I am going to say they do)

-Bubbler hits a bit different. Because Amelie is more on top of things. Making mention that Adrien and Felix's birthdays are coming up. Which has Nathalie remember to get Adrien a gift. (so she doesnt take Marinette's)

-Felix gets birthday wishes from his friends in London.

-Gabriel still refuses a party. And nino gets the harsh treatment.

-Lila does come to Françoise Dupont, but she is not in Ms.Bustier's class. So she doesnt have Adrien help her with her lessons. She ends up sucking up to Aurore and Mirelle, who she becomes best friends with (manipulation).

-Marinette isnt crazy about hearing Lila's lies about Ladybug, which is how she knew Lila was lying about everything, but she isnt furious about it and simply just tells Alya she should look into it more. People make up stories about Ladybug and Chat noir all the time. Which Alya does consider (since Marinette has no reason to be saying that)

-Evillustrator is altered, With the new addition of a classmate. The partners are pairs instead of groups of three.

-Marinette is paired with Zoe.

-This is where we get some development for Zoe.

-Marinette is left thinking that Zoe may not be as awful of a person. Since they actually get the project done.

-Felix and Kagami meet much earlier than Adrien meeting Kagami. Which interestingly has them hit it off once she kicks his ass. (Yes this au if Feligami)

-By the time Despairbear happens, Marinette and Company realize Zoe isnt like Chloé and try reaching out to her more. Juleka even invites her to the Liberty. (Potential Luzoe? Lukoe? Luzo? Zoka? Zoeka?)

[bridgyrose]

Watts is tired of clearing Cinder’s mind and he is very busy so he decides to give her a pill that increases her feelings for Ruby and Weiss by 11 so she has no choice but to deal with her feelings

(Since I ended up with two asks for it, I guess I can do these together)

“You want me to do what?” 

Cinder winced as she heard Watts yell at her once more over her scroll. “Salem told you to help me with this part of the plan no matter what, right? I just need you to clear my head again of those thoughts of Ruby and Weiss-” 

“Why cant you just deal with that… little crush you have on your own?” Watts let out a sigh and sat his scroll down as he started to work on another project. “I’ve already done this twice and those feelings keep coming back. Which means either those feelings are deeply rooted into you, or no matter how many times you forget the two of them, you’ll keep finding those feelings for them. If you’re having that much trouble concentrating on your half of things, then maybe we should have Salem pull you out.” 

“No!” Cinder paused for a moment and regained her composure. “I cant be pulled away from here. I can make this work.” 

“Then deal with your crush on your own.” 

“I dont know how!” 

“For the love of…” Watts pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few breaths. “Fine, you want my help? Then I’ll help you. I know someone in Vale who will be willing to take care of your little problem. You just need to bring yourself and those two to him.” 

“And where will I meet him?” 

“I’ll give you all the details when I have things ready.” 

Cinder let out a heavy sigh as the call ended and she leaned against the wall. She had been hoping that once again he could clear her mind and remove these feelings that she had for those two distractions, but part of her realized that maybe he was right. The best way to nip this in the bud would be to deal with it on her own 

“Cinder! Cinder!” 

Cinder groaned and pressed her fist into the wall as she heard Ruby’s voice. This was the absolute last thing she wanted. Her heart started to thump in her chest as she tried to keep herself composed and attempted to keep her blush from showing. “Ruby…” 

“I’m glad you’re alright.” Ruby rushed over, a smile plastered to her face. “With the way you ran off, I thought I did something wrong.” 

“Dont worry, its not you, its me.” Not a complete lie. “Though, I think I need to spend a little time away from you. Again, its not you, I’ve just been… distracted and being around you isnt exactly helping.” 

“Oh… okay, though, I was hoping that maybe you and your team would like to join the rest of my team and team JNPR out in town? Just as a bonding exercise and to maybe get to know you guys a bit better.” Ruby’s cheeks reddened as she started to play with her finger and rocked on her heels. “I’m sure you guys already have a lot of friends, but since you’re still new to the area and visiting, we figured it’d be nice to help you guys get a little more comfortable around here.” 

Cinder felt her heart start to beat a little faster at the prospect of getting closer to Ruby and Weiss. But that was all wrong. Ruby was much younger than her, younger than everyone else at the school. Plus there was the fact that she was her rival, whether she knew it or not. And Weiss… Weiss was everything she hated. She was from Atlas, she was part of the elite that looked down upon anyone who wasnt like her… 

And yet, whenever she saw the two, they were getting along… mostly. Even behind the teasing, there was genuine care between them, care that she hadnt felt ever since that fateful day with the Madame. Ever since Rhodes had told her she’d be running, that is all she had done until she was found by Salem. 

And now, here she was, standing in front of Ruby, who genuinely wanted to get to know her. Who genuinely wanted to be her friend, and she still had no clue how to deal with the influx of emotions swirling around her. “That… would be great but I-” 

A chime on her scroll interrupted her and a small sigh of relief washed over her as she looked over the message from Watts to meet his contact at a warehouse near the docks. 

“-I think that maybe we can go somewhere alone. Just… you, me, and Weiss.” 

Ruby paused. “R-really?” 

Cinder nodded and took Ruby’s arm and started to drag her off. “I have a lot of social anxiety and dont do well with a large crowd. But if I go with you and Weiss to somewhere less busy, like say the docks, then maybe we can get to know each other.” 

“But why the docks?” 

“Because its less busy!” Cinder let go of Ruby’s arm and started to rush off. “Just meet me at the docks and I’ll explain everything there! And make sure Weiss is with you!” 

Ruby slowly nodded, her confusion still building. “Y-yeah, sure. I can… I can do that.” 

“Great! I’ll see you there in an hour!” 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinder tapped her foot as she looked at her scroll, cursing to herself. “Of course Ruby’s late…” With a heavy sigh she looked up as she heard a rush of air followed by a swirl of rose petals. “About time you show up.” 

“Sorry we’re late, I had to-” 

“-she got lost,” Weiss interrupted as she started to straighten out her skirt. “Though she wont admit it because she grew up here.” 

“I didnt get lost, just… turned around.” Ruby sighed. “Look, Vale’s a big city and I’m almost always here at night. Its different to come out this way when its actually light out.” 

“We were here not even a month ago with Blake!” 

Cinder pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened. I cant believe Roman has been stopped by them twice now. “It doesnt matter why you’re late, you’re here now. So we can start hanging out.” 

Ruby nodded a smile starting to show. “Then what did you have in mind?” 

“I was thinking we could go somewhere more private,” Cinder said as she started to head to the warehouse. “Somewhere we wont be interrupted.” 

Ruby and Weiss looked at each other and shrugged as they followed. Once they entered the warehouse behind Cinder, they paused at the empty building. Weiss groaned and finally spoke. 

“And what exactly were we supposed to do here?” 

“I had the same question,” Cinder muttered to herself as she walked in. She looked around for any sign of Watts’ contact as she moved deeper. “I was told this place was still active and that we’d have no problem-” 

Cinder paused as a small ball dropped from the ceiling and exploded into a black mist. She quickly covered her mouth as she looked over to Ruby and Weiss, eyes wide as she watched them cough and drop to the ground. She moved back a couple steps and stopped once she felt herself run into someone and turned around. “T-Tyrian?!” 

“Our dear doctor Watts told me that you were having a problem and since I was… in the area, I figured I’d lend a hand.” Tyrian quickly went behind Cinder and pried her hand off her mouth. “Sweet dreams, Cinder. I’ll make sure you’re awake once you’re needed.” 

Cinder started to cough as her eyes watered and her lungs filled up with the black mist. Her eyelids grew heavy as she breathed more in, and it wasnt long until she lost consciousness and finally dropped to the ground, hearing Tyrian’s laugh as the last thing before her senses faded. 

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[cuddlesslut]

Alrighty lets get started!! So i still really new to this so as to not overwhelm my self im going to try and stick to two charcters for now. I’m sorry if its not what your looking for. For the two im going to do my boys Suga and Daichi. Only because i just did Kuroo and  because im still trying to figure out how to write for Reon. I might however come back and write a part 2 with them. 

Prompt : Boys reacting to their tom boyish crushes all dolled up (Daichi & Suga)

just sayin i wrote this while drinking mojitos

P.S. this prompt reminds me of a series called Sinful Sweethearts by @thosenerdy3amthings​ so definitely go check that out!!

Warning: NSFW, FOUL LANGUAGE

Daichi Sawamura NSFW

you have know Daichi basically your whole life

growing up next to him your parents were very close which meant that you two were kept close together 

in fact until you made it to middle school and started playing volleyball for the girls team you had never had any other friends beside Diachi

so it was safe to say that growing up you were more on the boyish side

you were just more comfortable in sweats and baggy workout shorts than skirts. 

you even wore pants to school

even  highschool though you went to a different school Diachi stayed your closest friend you often finding yourself at the Karsuno practice after yours had ended.

 No matter how much your teammates fussed they couldnt convince you to ditch the large hoodies and sweats.

 You and Daichi always supported each other. you never missed his games and he never missed yours (as long as scheduling permited)

the third year boys often teased Diachi for his realtionship with you

“i dont know why yall dont just date already,” suga complained while daichi stated his usual reply “ shes my best friend you know its not like that” he huffs

Suga scowls “ first of all rude im supposed be your best friend, and second it cant be as just friends as you say when you get so protective when the seond years simp for her.”

“i just dont want her feeling weird around the team. you know Noya and Tanaka can be intense,” he explained

“still that doesnt acount for the way Y/N looks at you,” Asahi added to the convo

“what are you talking about Y/n doesnt look at me any special way, we’re just friends ,” daichi stated a little to forcefully almost as if he was convincing himself.

Suga and Asahi share a knowing look thinking about how their captain can be so dense. 

“any way are you ready for your  birthday party tomorrow night ,” Suga asked smiling brightly.

“i told you i dont need a party,” Daichi scolded for the fifth time today.

“ahh c’mon its not everyday you become an adult like the rest of us DI,”

finally admitiing defeat Diachi concluded the conversation.

...

it was finally the next day you were more nervous for this party than any volleyball game you had played.

and here you were standing in the tight black dress Suga with the help of your team, you should never wager against suga

Had convinced you to wear to diachis party tonight

still shell shocked you stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom Suga had chose.

It was weird to see yourself so girly

the black dress clung tight   to your body. leaving little the imagination.

Suga better be glad he won that bet

finally calming yourself you look around for your best friend

Finally catching sight of him Diachi stood with Suga and Asahi next to the bar of the club.

Suga was the first to recognize you a evil smirk hitting his face as he drew Diachis attention to you.

You couldnt help but notice how hot he looked in his button up and dark wash jeans, his shirt clinging so close to his chest.

he looked to damn good you thought as you bit your lip

little did you know the birthday boy was having an epiphany of this own

his eyes raked up and down you mind wandering 

had you always had such a great ass under those baggy sweats

“Happy Birthday Captain,” you teased.

Daichi took a sharp breath suddenly taken back by the way the title fell from your soft lips

all he could think about was how you would sound screaming that from under him.

lost in thought he missed the smirk his best friend had as Suga put his pan into motion

you stood there sway to the beat of the loud club music wanting to dance

“Y/n why dont you take the birthday boy for a dance,” 

you smiled before Diachi could protest saying how how he doesnt dance

you pulled him to the dance floor pushing your ass against him reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him close to your body as you grinded to the beat

his hands found their place on your hips  

his cock twitched from the pressure of your ass in that short tight dress rubbing against his crotch

you were not helping his growing situation

bodies getting lost in the movement 

you looked up at the boy had been your best friend your whole life with one thought in you head

the same thought flashed into diachis brain

being bold he crashed his lips into yours 

Lost in the contact the kiss lasted forever getting more and more intense 

your not sure how you to got here

but here you were straddling Diachi in the back of his car

his lips sucking bruises into your neck, his large grabbing your ass as you bounced on his thick cock

“FUCK,” Daichi breathed heavily pulling you down into a sloppy kiss tongues exploring “ youre so tight come for me beautiful.”

“im so close Captain you moan feeling him stretch you.

thats it that one word flipped the switch for him he gripped tight on to your waist to hold you secure as he powerfully drilled his hips up into you.

hitting your spot deeper and with such accuracy you were both driven over the edge as you clinched tight around him pulling his release from him.

you both sat out of breath in the hot car, the widows fogged and the smell of sex stinging the air.

“happy birthday,” you said giving him a quick kiss.

he glanced at the watch on his wrist 

he smirked up to you “you know my birthday isnt over yet,” you smiled already liking where this was going. “lets head back to mine. I’m not done with you yet.” 

Koshi Sugawara Slight NSFW

He’s had a crush for you since the beginning of the school year

He thought you were the most adorable thing he’d seen 

with your sweaters that were  two sizes to big. (sweater paws)

You two became friends through a writing project. 

you too quickly hit it off you loving his wild humor 

its sometimes seemed like hed flirt with you but you figured it was just his personality and you were too shy to do anything

poor suga spent so much time flirting with you but you never paid it any attention so he figured you didnt view him that way and he was okay with that he just wanted to be your friend if nothing else.

and so thats how six months went by of being no more than friends

always returning Sugas simple firsts with a shy smile.

It wasnt until the celebratory party some random third year threw to congratulate the boys on making it to nationals

You sat at your best friend Kyioko’s house. 

This was the first party she was able to convince you to attend and she was making sure it counted.

there would be no big sweaters or jeans tonight 

tonight you were borrowing Kyiokos clothes. 

She dressed in a tight (favorite color) lace halter crop top with the lace exposing just the right amount of cleavage. and a pair of blaack shorts hugging your hips thighs on full display.

it wasnt what you were used to this being the most skin you had exposed to the public in years

thats coupled with the make up added to your face you almost didnt recognize yourself

it wasnt what you were used to and thats why when you reached the party and all eyes landed on you. you were slightly relieved that most of the people didnt recognize you.

it was almost exhilarating 

kind of like playing pretend.

like tonight you werent Y/N shy and closed off

you were a sexy and confident woman

that coupled with the shots you took with Kyioko. you found your new confidence 

thats why when you saw you long time crush and close friend Suga across the room you didnt hesitate to make your way over.

“No way is that Y/n” Daichi gasped causing Sugas attention to slip to where his best friend motioned. “wow i didnt expect to see her here,” Diachi let out with a low whistle.

Suga sucked in a sharp breath not prepared for the sight in front of him.

There you were making you way towards him throw the crowd. a smile on your face but it was hard for suga to focus on that smile when your whole body was on display for him. 

 His eyes trailed from down your figure taking all of the exposed skin that was normally hidden from him. 

the way the lace framed your stomach and cupped your breast. the cut into shirt showing him the most cleavage you had ever shown. moving his eyes down it was hard for him not to whimper at the site of your thighs

this man was entranced in your appearance. hed always thought you were the most beautiful even when you were covered head to toe, but seeing you like this it was hard not to drool.

And he wasnt the only one, Several guys had taken notice of you.

Some stopping you to ask if you were new,  cause there was no way’d theyd miss a hot babe like you at school. 

to which youd just roll your eyes keeping on your way to your target. 

feeling more and more emboldened by the attention you were receiving.

but these boys werent the ones you wanted

being the light weight you are you already had your eyes on your prize

go big or go home 

so you you strode right up to the vice captain

“ W- wow Y/n you look great,” Suga stuttered 

“thanks Suga,” you say placing your hand on his toned forearm

No turning back now the confidence was here to stay atleast for now

Suga took a deep breath as he took a turn being the shy one. not used to the aura you exuded. were you really the shy girl he knew. 

you moved closer enveloping him in a tight embrace

he could feel you tits press tight against him and he was trying not to focus on it not wanting to further anymore of the dirty thoughts crossing his mind

 staying close next to Suga you continued your flirtatious assault

dishing back all the flirts you had held back over the months

Finally the straw broke when one of your favorite club songs played through the crowed house and you pulled him close to dance with you.

“c’mon Koshi dont be so timid,” you teased. 

Suga wasnt sure if it was hearing his given name grace your beautiful lips or the facts that you had pressed your ass against his crotch moving seductively to the music but he snapped. 

Suga placed his hands tight to your hips pulling you closer to him not caring if you felt the growing bulge in his pants.

leaning down “you know if you wanted my attention you didnt have to dress so damn sexy. now i have to deal with all these vultures looking at you,” he whispered his breath hot on your ear.

you turned around wrapping your arms around his neck leaning even closer, 

“then why dont we go somewhere private then we wont have to worry about who’s looking,” you smirked heart racing

“i couldnt have said it better,” Suga said leading you out of the busy room ready to have you to himself. 

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Sorry It took so long to write all my work got deleted and I had to start over! I hope you enjoy it 🍵 Anon!!! 💕💕 @🍵anon

Taglist: @emiyummy @insomniish

[wolvesandvisions]

smth ive learned with how adhd manifests with me is that procrastination isnt something that exists in a bubble -- its a state of being and its miserable. like most people procrastinate bcs they think they have something better to do or they like really dont want to do a particular thing. i even thought maybe i procrastinated in school bcs I didn’t want to be doing school work

but its the opposite, like there are things I want to be doing, like I would enjoy doing that thing (even a lot of school projects!) and I don't have anything better I could be doing yet I end up doing inconsequential things. 

part of its because im thinking “If i’m not at 100% I am not going to make my best work/enjoy doing this thing I objectively enjoy”, which is honestly the unfortunate truth...but also its like my mind is punishing itself, telling me I don’t deserve to enjoy myself right now or that I dont have the right to contribute to something right now and that there’s more preparation to be done... more things you could be doing...

its literally so miserable because at the end of the day when I get right to it i can do amazing things, but everything is just like this

[mxthtea]

when i finish this project im done with the big things from school and this one isnt even late yet

m so excited to be more in smooth sailing here m so tired

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.