#school is stressing me out a lot ^^'
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Bond Forger appreciation post - aka my finished piece for the Starlight Anya Zine (2022)!
The endpage doodles were a collab between me and my little sister :)
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#zine stuff#spy x family#anya forger#bond forger#becky blackbell#sxf#doodles#whewwwww this is old#feels kind of weird to post it now but i had fun making it!#the project was rlly cute#my second ever zine <33#credit to my sister for drawing the doodles!#she did the lines i did the color#truly the collab of the century#art updates - i've been doing a lot of sketching recently#might just be burnout speaking but it feels good to focus on lines w/out worrying about colors#totally unrelated fun fact: my internship gave me my first strand of grey hair#don't get me wrong it was a great experience! but also stressful#speaking of stress school starts in a week ahhhhh#in conclusion stay silly stay sane
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I can’t think of any funny quips to put as description for this one so uh- suppose this time around I’ll just let the art speak for itself lol
Enjoy the daily dose of fanart while it lasts because I can’t quite guarantee I’ll be able to keep up this speed throughout the upcoming month. But I’ll sure try to! Thank you all for the support <3
#guys it’s 12:20am I have school today at 7:45 what am I doing with my time management here jksjsksp#was worth it though#oddly enough I haven’t felt this free to express myself or my appreciation for things in a while it seems#so setting time to just let my art take shape on its own accord and freehand it all without any particular goal in mind is just…#a well needed relaxing break to zone out and create for the sake of it you know?#finally i’m not stressing over deadlines or finalizing to perfect#there’s no pressure or obligation <3#kinda like a ‘oh yeah I made this and the fact I made it is special enough’#….ah wait maybe it’s the peaceful instrumental Spotify playlist taking effect on me too lol#yeah actually that would make a lot of sense#doodles#smg4 fanart#smg4 doodles#smg4 sketches#leggy smg4#mario smg4#mr puzzles smg4#hplonesome art
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What story do you plan on doing next?
I'm not sure yet! I want to take it a little slow right now and write some shorter fics while thinking about what big fic I want to write. I'm a little tired of writing in the Arctic setting so I might try something different.
#naff nuh huh#school as been a bit stressful lately#and a lot of things have been hitting me hard (like getting sick over and over bleh—i'm so over it!!)#so in the interest of protecting myself from burn out#i'm not going to jump into a big fic right away#but don't worry#y'all will know when i'm ready to get into another fic hehe
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#I am so curious about this one#A lot of people I know think of college or even grad school as this Edenic paradise from which they were cast out into the work force#Not one job I’ve had has been as stressful for me as taking classes was#I don’t know if I’ve been lucky or if I’ve matured or if college is just nuts#Then again if they’d paid me to be a student who knows how I’d feel
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SECOND VERSION OF THE NASH INTIMATE SCENE DONE !!!!!!!!!!
#and it only took me (checks notes) over a week .#sorry i got stressed out with school and it takes a lot of mental psyching up to write these BUT guess what it's going on patreon tomorrow#(later today) after my betas look at it....#ohh i'm so happy this shit is done!!! now i get to write the experienced versions which i feel like will be a little bit easier.#HEHEHEHEHEHEHHE.#ok. it's 4 in the morning. time to go to bed.#jacob nash
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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts
#ramble tag#its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives#the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also#getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off#on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal#getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment#like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad#by god does it rlly sound to me like#the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving#but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film#it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens#sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens#and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed#and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter#and passing notes in class#and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing#sol knits albie his first sweater#they have their first beer together#they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that#albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine#albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always#only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him#...... anyway
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Current status:
#vimse's nonsense#i have a crazy amount of school work to do for the rest of the year#honestly very stressed out about that#so i'm doing the only appropriate coping mechanism for my generation#which is to make memes about my problems#🙃#i will find time to draw every day but i can't commit to big pieces that will take a lot of time and effort#those usually get me into a hyperfocused mode where i ignore all my life responsibilities#for days#which can't be happening now#let's say i'm going into low energy mode#art-wise#i hope thats okay
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:P
#haikyuu!!#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#kagehina#my art#stressed out bc school is getting to be a lot and made this after a frusturating art day#they are def my comfort characters...#i have a comic planned out i think but its gonna take a bit and i want to spend that brain space on my school stuff but also THEM aaaaaaaaa#spring break is soon tho!! youll probably get more doodles from me then but no promises lol
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arknights rkgk variety
#school stress me out so i draw something else#then i realise i could have used the time i was drawing to do school stuff#which stresses me out more#i feel so normal lol ! lol !!!#arknights#arknights fanart#ak enforcer#ak midnight#ak doctor#ak phantom#ak executor#ak elysium#ak spot#ak hung#ak aak#ak aosta#ak broca#ak chiave#i also love abc a lot a lot#rkgk#my art#2023 art
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i'm sorry for being incredibly slow and just not present here. i have a lot of things going on but i will write when i can ! just know that it's not that i'm uninterested in writing with anyone. i appreciate all the asks / starters / replies that have been sent/replied to by those who want to write with me and just know that i am working on them at my own pace. <3 it's not you, it's me.
#i'm just getting ready for school to get some pre-reqs done for pharmacy school#plus there's my sister's wedding in november that i have to prepare for and everything which is in new york#so i have a lot of pre-planning to do and it's stressing me out#so i've just been gaming after work or reading mha because my brain feels fried every day uwu#but i hope to be here soon once things settle#gaming has been fun despite the awful balancing aka overwatch#lots of colorful gamers. one got so mad @ me for killing them the entire game that the best they could do#was make fun of me that i used punctuation correctly? lmao#anyways! i hope to be updating my carrd as well when i get a chance#my blog is an awful mess don't look T_T#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )
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Notes:
I think I definitely like the original versions more than the edited ones. I'm more happy with the grumpy Fernando one, whereas the bratty Seb one made me want to cease painting forever. So hopefully he looks good?????? I'm sure I'll soften on it, but yeah, not TOO pleased with it right now. His facial expressions are so cute and dynamic and unique until you have to try and paint it and then you dont love him anymore(kidding ofc, how could I ever hate my beloved boy king 🥺)
Anyways, these are them:
#the caption is a multi-pronged reference so if you get it you get it 🤭#hint: the quote is both a translation of a vettonso thing but its also not...exact. i added a little spice to it#so yeah translate all of that first(the first part of the quote wont work in google translate tho)#and then also the rest of the caption is both a reference to a real life thing but also me making it AUified !!#hehehe let me know your thoughts 🤭 was so fucking pleased w it when i first told C about it#ngl putting that quote was the main thing pushing me thru finishing the seb one#im like CMON YOU CAN DO IT!! IF YOU FINISH IT YOU CAN PUT YOUR SILLY LATIN JOKE!!! YOU LOVE LATIN!!#anyways i drafted this before i even really started the seb one#and my god LOOK AT THEIR HAND SIZE DIFFERENCE WOOF WOOF WOOF#did you guys notice...seb's ring...his wedding...ring? 🤭🤭🤭#wanted to add one to nando but his left ring finger isnt really visible but just so you know hes wearing it#I have a lot of thoughrs about rings and ungloved vs gloved hands grrrrrrr#theres a lot of meaning in it to me and it adds to their characterization so ill try and make a post abt thay sometime !#anyways pls enjoy the fruits of my labor.....#vettonso so good it makes me PAINT TWO PORTRAITS#i think before this au i was kinda trying to get away from painting csuse it stressed me out too much#and then the vettonso brainrot is so horrinle that im willing to paint for like...an undisclosed amnt of time#undisclosed not bcs im being secretive but bcs i have no idea and irs 6 am and i have school JSKFLVL#okay bur yes yes please enjoy. and enjoy my suffering as a purveyor of vettonso 🥹 id do anything for my lieges#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#boy king au
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#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights#in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor#not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break#and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity#but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break#or even know how to do that#and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard#or too strenuously#to extend the metaphor to the limit#and I need !!!!!!! a rest day#vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer#because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things#and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol#and so the breaks are just built-in#but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail#and it’s so tiring#anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself#like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful#and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop#and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off#I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works#so stressfully going down a million thought paths#ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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b99 Doodles (Terry & Holt have an underratedly sweet friendship)
#b99#Kevin Cozner#Raymond Holt#that stuff about their families are just my headcanons of course#Holt seems like a perfectionist...student government + debate club + founded the first LGBT club unofficially + Top of his class + Volunteer#work and tutoring on weekends#Meanwhile Kevin was skipping school to read shakespeare or go see an old film and think about how much he wanted to get out of this#NIGHTMARE suburb...#Kevin seems like he stopped being angsty and mad only once he got to college and was able to be himself more authentically#I think Debbie does something where she talks to a lot of people as a job - like a receptionist. Something where she can be friendly and get#a lot of gossip...she was also involved in a lot of clubs and afterschool activities...powerhouses those Holts#Debbie appeared in ONE episode and yet she was so sweet in that ep v_v literally got cheated on but was like 'oh my god!!! No don't worry#about me - I'll be alright - I don't wanna stress you out!!' ...obviously loves her brother a lot <3#b99 fanart
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fish......
#art#traditional art#watercolour#embroidery thread#oc art#ocs#oc group: unsorted#oc: unnamed#i gotta name him. my guy whos secretly a school of fish pretending to be human#this was another study i made for class along with a few other doodles of this guy. then i got kinda roasted by my TAs lol#wasnt their fault i think they were just tired and stressed. plus theyre like the same age as me. i know what its like being 25 LOL#it did discourage me a lot in the moment because despite the everything about me thats probably apparent both through my blog and irl#i keep my art passions really REALLY closed off irl LOL so at the time i was like just barely stepping my toe out and showing my truth:#that all i do all day is draw dorky oc stuff HDKJSDS i did kinda immediately get called cringe in all but the actual word orz#it was a bummer but i think i feel better about it now. especially because again my TAs are the same age as me or younger than me#and im not gonna let a 25 year old calling me cringe get me in my head HKFSKJFDSd plus again i think they were just stressed and in a mood#because other times theyve been chill even when giving a harsh critiques so it mightve just been like. something in the air#but you know. isnt that a bit of a milestone in its own right. being called cringe in your fine arts class critique <3#but i still like my funny guy from my dream. hes just a normal ass looking guy. who is made of fish :)
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nine (9) people u'd like 2 know better
tagged by @izzac and @chiptrillino thank you both! <3
three ships: zukka (surprise suprise) korrasami, and bubbline
first ever ship: starfire and robin from teen titans! (also wally and jinx...i rewatched that episode so much as a kid)
last song: Hey I Don't Work Here by Tom Cardy
currently reading: Blue Period and She Who Became the Sun (so I can understand ash-and-starlight's art...) and Six of Crows
currently watching: I'm rewatching doctor who. I've been feeling so nostalgic lately...
currently consuming: apple cider
currently craving: anything sweet
current obsessions: Baldur's gate. I've finally gotten on a roll of accomplishing things in the game and have been playing it all weekend and then listening to the soundtrack during work. it makes work sound very epic...
currently up to: commissions, drawing some angsty zukka comics, and some bg3 fanart (aka spending forever failing to draw astarion)
aand tagging: @chief-boomerang @frstcorinthians @bisexuallsokka @ash-and-starlight @icrowler and anyone else who wants to do it!!
#man i should draw teen titans fanart. make my middle school self proud#my friend says the way i read books is weird but i think having one at my nightstand for bed and one in my backpack for my work commute and#then reading manga voraciously at my desk is a totally normal way to split up a reading load#anaaand technically i have two more on my nightstand that i alternate through via stack but i felt like that was adding too many titles#ask game#notmyart#these are fun but tagging people always stresses me out lol#so many things i want to draw!!! how to pick one??#i can't wait to share my tav too! lots of fun comics if i ever get around to it. i wanna talk about him....aagggg
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