#so yeah translate all of that first(the first part of the quote wont work in google translate tho)

[skitskatdacat63]

Notes:

I think I definitely like the original versions more than the edited ones. I'm more happy with the grumpy Fernando one, whereas the bratty Seb one made me want to cease painting forever. So hopefully he looks good?????? I'm sure I'll soften on it, but yeah, not TOO pleased with it right now. His facial expressions are so cute and dynamic and unique until you have to try and paint it and then you dont love him anymore(kidding ofc, how could I ever hate my beloved boy king 🥺)

Anyways, these are them:

[caithyra]

A lot of people claim Kagura (and by extension her "siblings") was a full demon, but am I alone in thinking that she was always a half-demon/hanyo because she was an incarnation of Naraku, who was also a half-demon?

First a disclaimer: I view Naraku’s incarnations very different from the rest of fandom, like I do with most things in this manga.

Naraku’s incarnations fans might not like my interpretation... Oh, and it only pertains to the manga.

TL;DR: They are likely as yokai as Sesshomaru’s severed arm. Except Muso. (Skip to the bottom of this post if you want the elaborated, quick answer of my interpretation and then the probable canon answer, which is different. I just have an interpretation of canon that I haven’t seen anyone else suggest before that...)

Anyway, first we are going to go through what Naraku is before he creates his incarnations:

Onigumo, a human, who is devoured by a yokai horde that becomes Naraku.

Naraku is then a hanyo capable of absorbing other yokai and their power, which he presumably does a few times before he tries something as big as absorbing a daiyokai like Sesshomaru (which he fails at), given his attempt at Sesshomaru, we can presume that at least a few of these yokai were powerful even if they were not daiyokai, since going from lesser yokai to greater yokai without anyone inbetween is very foolhardy, given how weak Naraku was at the time (he also used manipulations mostly during this time).

So up to the point that the manga starts, Naraku is a mostly yokai hanyo made up of literally hundreds of yokai of various powers and strengths.

Then, before he begins creating incarnations Naraku is nearly killed by Kagome (this is an important part of my interpretation) and cannot restore himself without turning towards a dark type of magic called kodoku.

Kodoku is a magical ritual/art called “gu/ku” in Chinese in which various toxic creatures are put into an enclosed space to absorb one another until only one remains. This remaining creature (also called Gu/Ku/Kodoku) is considered supremely toxic and powerful and with various abilities such as pestilence, manipulation (Naraku/Kanna/Infant?), transformation (Naraku), and a number of other things that falls well within Naraku’s sphere of power.

Anyway, Naraku absorbs the kodoku and is restored, and also made up of even more different kinds of yokai. And he holds a large chunk of the empowering Shikon no Tama, courtesy of Kikyo.

And that’s when he begins creating incarnations (分身 - bunshin).

That word, bunshin, is a funny thing. In Naruto, it is the “clone” part in Clone Techniques (such as Kage Bunshin/Shadow Clone which Naruto uses all the time), and as a common word, has been used in many manga/anime/games.

Here’s the definition of Jisho.org for example:

ぶんしん 分身 common word Noun 1. other self; alter ego; part of oneself (in someone or something else); representation of oneself 2. (Buddhist term) incarnations of Buddha​

Kotobank.jp translates it into “double/doppelgänger” and has this to say:

1. One divided into two or more separate bodies. 2. (Buddhist term, similar to above.)

But basically, a bunshin is not a separate person from what they are a bunshin of most of the time in pop culture (or they are re/pre/incarnations like in Buddhism, but no one suggests Kagura is to Naraku what Kagome is to Kikyo, so... *shrugs* Lets got with the other definition!). They always exist in relation to the original (Naraku). Other translations simply call them detachments, which has the implication of parts of Naraku that he’s cut off and given life for his own purposes.

I will be skipping Muso since he is an aberration among the bunshin, and likely the most hanyo of the lot.

The first bunshin Naraku creates is Kanna, who has no will, no emotions and no drive of her own. She solely does Naraku’s bidding, no more, no less. (There is a sole exception of her death scene, but that was more to inform the heroes of Kikyo’s light, which curtails with how the story began bending to fit Kikyo as a tragic heroine... Don’t even get me started...)

Then he creates Kagura, who is the opposite extreme; freedom is her greatest aspiration and she continuously backtalks Naraku and tries to act against him, yet, in the end, everything goes as Naraku wants when it comes to Kagura (this is also important).

Lets look at these two extremes and lets pretend that these are not Naraku’s incarnations; they are toasters.

Kanna is the toaster that Naraku must put the perfect settings in every time before use and push the toast down with a lever. Then he must wait and push the eject button, because Kanna wont do it herself.

Kagura is the fancy toaster with all the bells and whistles and more settings than anyone needs, including sensors to tell when the perfect toast is done to be ejected. She even automatically lowers the toast into the toasting slots when you put them in. In theory, Naraku doesn’t need to do anything else; Kagura knows exactly what to do to make the toast Naraku wants. Except fancy gadgets like these malfunctions and are temperamental and has the wrong settings put in and, yeah, Kagura doesn’t want to make Naraku’s perfect toast, but Naraku has rigged a big, complicated Rube-Goldberg machine to push her eject button before she can irreparably burn his toast, so it doesn’t matter.

All the different incarnations are on a sliding scale of these, except for Hakudoshi, who is an even fancier version of Kagura and capable of making grilled cheese sandwiches, and what more, Naraku wants Hakudoshi to burn some of his toast, because of the risk/reward that one day, Hakudoshi will not burn Naraku’s toast, but instead will make the perfect grilled cheese sandwich for Naraku to enjoy.

Byakuya, by contrast, is the perfect blend of obedient Kanna and the ability to make tedious decisions and act on his own like Kagura.

It’s like with computer programs; some require a dozen clicks to complete a task, another, that has been further programmed (given personality and motivation), only require one.

In short, I do not see them as separate people from Naraku, which is where I diverge from most of fandom; they have no pupils, which are signs of possession/not having their own minds in many anime, which is also a yokai trait (like Koga), but is egregious when it comes to everything else. It should be noted that most of Naraku’s bunshin are obedient to Naraku, but that in order to arrive to the perfect blend of independent action plus unquestioning obedience that is Byakuya, he experimented with giving more or less free will, individual desires and so on.

And it was Kagura who led me to believe that:

First; she is given the appearance of “Sesshomaru’s ideal woman” according to Takahashi who believes that all men want Kikyo or someone like her (”Sesshomaru’s ideal type of woman” is “like Kikyo” according to her according to some interview I’ve seen quoted around, but I would like an actual source, please...), including Sesshomaru, so she makes Kagura a young woman like Kikyo named after a dance that miko, like Kikyo, dance.

Second; she is given a sympathetic motivation “freedom” but at no point do we get a clue as to how she feels about “freedom” other than something to attain. She does not daydream about it or what she will do with it, she does not envy others’ freedom overtly (nor resentfully watching them), there’s literally nothing except her nebulously wanting “freedom” being “the free wind” when she passes away.

Third; she is obviously and loudly antagonistic towards Naraku, and, indeed he, the great villain, holds her heart literally in his hand to torture her with. Don’t you want to save her? Give this pretty lady freedom?

Fourth; she really wants Sesshomaru to save her, despite the fact that Sesshomaru has never come close to killing Naraku and always refuses to save Kagura.

Fifth; but when Kagome, the only person to ever come close to killing Naraku in the entire series at this point, offers to protect Kagura, Kagura refuses and still goes to Sesshomaru. Even though Kagome is not just the person whose power Naraku fears, but also someone with a history of taking in her foes as friends (unlike Sesshomaru).

Sixth; Tenseiga did not even react to Kagura “dying”.

None of this makes sense, unless one thinks of Kagura as a part of Naraku that he has “programmed” specifically to mess with Sesshomaru. In that case, Kagura refusing Kagome’s protection while still being infatuated with Sesshomaru who refuses to do anything and has proven nothing as her supposed savior, and the lack of psychopomps at her death and Tenseiga having no reaction, makes sense if Kagura is little more than something like a living tentacle of Naraku’s, given a pretty face, personality and “programming” to go hard for Sesshomaru and then, use her final moment to upset him (by this time, everyone knows Sesshomaru’s complex with his father’s swords, so if his sword wont work when predictably would he ask it to... Cue upset Sesshomaru. Too bad Inu no Taisho did one up on Naraku on that front by ensuring Inuyasha got the Meido after Sesshomaru and Rin nearly died in front of Sesshomaru’s mother for Sesshomaru to get it... Naraku’s manipulations got nothing on InuPapa’s beyond the grave...).

It would explain her undeveloped motivation (the abstract “freedom”), why everything still goes as Naraku wishes despite a few hiccups and so on, and, of course, why she had no soul for Tenseiga to save...

Naraku might as well have told Kanna “fall in love with Sesshomaru and plead with him to give you freedom” and Kanna would do her best to obey, but because of her non-personality, the emotional manipulation would be obvious (even more so once she refused Kagome, since, after all, it is Sesshomaru who is to give her freedom). But Naraku would have to micromanage her extensively to do so as well as make her a mature body. Far easier to just create a new detachment with slightly more free will and so on with the “programming” installed.

Does Kagura know this? Maybe she suspected it by being around her “siblings” and noting how different their levels of sapience/sentience/free wills were (and she even tells Hakudoshi that his plans will come to naught because Naraku wont allow it, suggesting she believes Naraku’s will is absolute over the incarnations), but she probably felt like her own person, and would have been “programmed” to think of herself as such and dismiss any suspicions to the contrary.

It would fit very well with the body-horror aspect of early Inuyasha and Naraku’s character as a whole. But would also be a bit too much for a children’s comic magazine in an action series...

So what are Naraku’s incarnations on the human-yokai scale?

They are likely yokai, like Sesshomaru’s severed arm, with the exception of Muso who had Naraku’s most human part in him and would likely be considered hanyo on a DNA test. They were likely made from the yokai parts of the hordes that make up Naraku after the kodoku, but aren’t separate people (like, the parts of a crane yokai would have been used to create Byakuya, for example, while oni parts would have been used for Goshinki). They are just more advanced dolls made of purely yokai parts IMO.

But that’s just my extremely niche interpretation of the manga and the inconsistencies with the story.

In canon, it is much more likely that the simpler explanation; that they are separate people who are also yokai (except Muso), is the answer.

I just don’t like the inconsistencies it creates within the story and made my own interpretation and rambled on and on in this post. Sorry.

[fymbmangaboys]

FYMB updates: spring animes and dandelions and flowers and weird yaois etc

Happy spring! So far...

... it has just been weird for the most part. I mean, we got the virus, we're still living, although, Skip Beat! translation gods hasn't updated the next chapter, we're still fighting, i mean, we are slaves to that manga, so, yeah, so far, it has been okay. Pat yourself on the back, unless you're a tumblr post engine which doesn't automatically capitalize the first letter of the start of the sentence, you're pretty much better. lol. anyway, i digress.

We all know that the winter animes are done and streamed, and I'm gonna be honest, I didn't watch the whole damn list. and also, yes, I didn't watch Attack on Titan. Me and AOT doesn't mix. It doesn't work. Let me tell you why. It freakin scares me to death. The atmosphere of that kind of anime is the atmosphere that I do not enjoy. I dont care if my life is boring. lol. i remember that time when I started it's ep 1 years ago, few minutes done and I am out. I pretty much know the premise of it, and respect that many people loved it, but I dont like it because it wont make me feel better after I finish watching an episode. that's why maybe, just maybe, i'll find a time to start watching the first ep again and give it a try. but dont quote me on that.

Black clover ended too and it saddens me that it's not sure if there's gonna be a new season, or it got cancelled. I talked to you guys about telling something about Yuno after the anime is done so here's my 2 cents, that maybe some of the readers and watchers had been thinking already. Yuno's character has been bugging me since he was revealed as prince of another kingdom. Sure, he can be beauty and grace. sure, he can be the vice captain of the strongest wizard group in clover. sure, he can have the wind sylph. Sure, he can be the fuckin prince of another kingdom, but why, o, why, does he have to be the vessel of a half elf half prince royalty too at first? the character building had some holes. the hell. if the spade arc happened before the elf arc, i can understand it. but it's the other way around, it just feels so weird. one might compare yuno to Sasuke, but sasuke have a strong clan murder back story. yuno? as early as the time he got the wind spirit, he didnt resonate to me that much. the whole character of yuno was a fan service. if black clover anime ended just like that, without any plan to have a next season or movie(like those big ones are planning to have), yuno fuckin wasted my time. lol. i might as well go in a fuckin dungeon and get myself a water spirit with a devil on the side. *note: i watch as i read the manga. i know he probably trained his ass too, but the character wasnt highlighted until the spade arc, well, the anime ended before he did something splendidly. he's one of the main characters but he wasnt highlighted for the most part. i feel like maybe i havent warmed up to him yet. i mean, i love every freakin member of black bulls, and they pretty much the supports. what a lost opportunity for yuno to shine in the anime. one time yuno resonated to me was when he's in the meeting with the captains and he wanted to save his captain. that was it, and it was in the last few eps. if im an anime watcher only, i couldnt care less what he's thinking. asta is gonna be trained by his vice captain who btw is friends with a lot of demons. why am i going to care about yuno? i am talking about the anime experience. if in manga, he'll partner with asta and fight a good fight, it sure will be interesting.

next topic! So, as you noticed, i am currently binge watching Sk8 the infinity, and i love it to bits. underground skating is super cool in this anime. I like the politics, the dark side outside of the underground skating. very intriguing to see how the two worlds collide, adam's 2 worlds, with that police chick on his back. now, don't get me wrong, i like Langa, but hell, Reki's character have some struggles. although, i am more invested in adam's story than reki's. adam is such a damaged soul. it's gonna end at ep 12 and i feel like the story needed to have a season 2. any news about it?

new spring animes are here and i am ready. i mean, might as well watch anime before we all die, isnt it? lol. just kidding. now, i've been reading manga and it's common for me to see mangas i've read years ago and i've forgotten popping anime adaptations these past few days. one anime i've started watching is IT'S TOO SICK TO CALL THIS LOVE. if you want some spring anime that include an adult man liking and borderline obsessed to a high school girl, ok, it sounded creepy, but you'll know what i mean if you watch it. lol. it's cute.

although, i wont recommend watching MARUDASE KINTARO OVA for people who doesnt like yaoi or bl at all. do not watch this. lol. it's a comedy censored yaoi, and it's like 8 minutes long. it's pretty familiar to me too so maybe i read this one as well ahemmm back from my weird years.

lol. i maybe will do a separate post for censored comedy hentai anime that is hentai in manga, but let me just rant for a bit. it's always so disappointing when an anime who is sexy and clearly hentai or hentai in manga posing to be just ecchi with censorship. can these companies just tell if their animes are hentai or not, and if not, please just cut the hentai scenes. and if it's hentai, acknowledge it as a hentai, blurred the dang thing, and just purely made it a hentai. maybe i just dont like being teased, dudes, and maybe because i hate hentai animes that passed on as ecchi and the comedy is being highlighted. i love the uncensored censored of redo of healer with the boobs bare, but i hate animes which are pretty much made to be just ecchis when their manga is pure hentai.

Moriarty the patriot part 2 started streaming and hell, of course, i will continue watching it. I love Sherlock Holmes, as you all know. although, this very demanding side of me wants different. the SH universe has been used a hundred times. it has been spinned, adapted, inspired from, copied, drawn etc. The crime lover part of me wants something new. if you read my tags, i said that Japan loves Sherlock Holes, and hell, i mean it because they do. too much. Detective conan although have a spin on it does take a lot of inspiration from SH. every detective stories, mangas i read had some inspiration from SH. it has been milked for ideas. it saddens me sometimes when i started a detective story and it's obviously is inspired by SH. i am so thirsty of a good detective story that isnt in any way, shape or form similar to SH, similar to the cases, similar to the duo, and hell, villains similar to Moriarty. ">"

--

last but not least, let me just say sorry for the garbage that this post has been. im kidding. this is not a reader's digest article, dudes. lol. ok, well, this is a long post. i might end this here, and i will surely update you to the new animes that i might watch this season. it's spring, guys. go out a bit. dont forget your mask. smell the dandelions, the tulips. open your windows ffs. it's not that cold anymore. be careful and be kind.

-fymb

[kotlc--headcanons]

Amy and Sophie things

Let’s say Amy is visiting the Lost Cities, because I like to hc her visiting annually so she can catch up and learn details or updates on the Neverseen situation so she can do what she can to protect her human family.

It’s not unwise for the council to allow that, and it’s better than an imparter that will “only be used for emergencies.” It would also settle Amy and Sophie’s nerves knowing each other are safe.

Anyways, they’ve grown up together, they’re sisters, there’s bound to be jokes and mischief between them.

The first visit was at Havenfield where the team was waiting.

As soon as Sophie and Amy saw each other, they ran forwards to hug each other, only for Sophie to holler out. “IS THAT A NOSE RING, AMY FOSTER?” and Amy immediately turned and ran the other way, Sophie shouting behind her.

It’s like the Marty and Alex reunion scene in Madagascar.

Sophie caught her.

Amy and her argue in English all the time, Fitz quietly sobs in the corner. He’s heard enough about something called furries.

(“So you’re part horse-bird-narwhal thing, right?” “Alicorn, Amy, but yeah.” “So you’re a furry?” “..bITCH.”)

Amy ran into a room, only to whip and go “yEET” before Sophie threw her homework across the room and jumped over the couch to chase her.

They quote random things all the time.

Ex: Amy interrupted an entire dinner shouting “SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY.” and Sophie dropped her drink trying to clap on beat.

Ex 2: Sophie stopped dead in her tracks when a road in Atlantis was blocked off and whispered: “Road work ahead?” and Amy screamed: “WELL YEAH, I SURE HOPE IT DOES!”

Amy teaches the gang how to Fortnite dance.

Keefe learns very quickly.

He once proceeded to default dance on Sophie, and because Amy has shown Sophie Fortnite and the cringe videos that came with it, she leveled Amy, who was trying her best not to laugh, with a tired glare and looked very disappointed.

Amy cursed ONCE and Sophie shouted; “HEY, WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU HOW TO SWEAR?”

Everyone just kind of looked at her. Even the bodyguards.

Amy got Sophie to climb onto Sandor because she said “Bet you wont, poopy pants.” and Sophie got offended and climbed onto Sandor. “Eat my poopy pants, you big fat loser.” was how she responded.

Amy cornered a very sleep deprived Sophie with a ‘very important’ question and Sophie responded with “Suck my dick, I don’t care.”

Amy started laughing and asked how big it was.

Sophie, too tired to really listen, just said. “Your mom.”

Amy replied they had the same mom and Sophie, visibly panicked went: “No, you.” and fled to the next room.

Amy will never let her live that one down.

Sophie tends to speak a whole other language Amy has introduced as “Sophiese” and Amy is the only translator.

It’s really just a mash of old and current English slang that no one in the Lost Cities understands.

(“Like woof, love that for me babe. Even though I did the hokey pokey to get that jank turned in on time, but go at it, I guess?” “She means she hates the fact they’re going to pin the blame on her, even if it’s not her fault.”)

Amy and Sophie will have really hushed and rapid conversations in English around adults or other people they don’t want to understand them.

Alden and Grady have tried to listen in, but Sophie and Amy speak not only with their words, but with their hands and expressions.

They only get bits and pieces.

The two sisters tend to gravitate towards each other, and despite the random reasons they argue or goof off, they have a better sibling bond than Biana and Fitz.

They also help each other with Nightmares.

Ex: Sophie has woken up in a cold sweat, hands gripping the sheets and Amy will wake up because she’s a light sleeper and they tend to have sleepovers at Havenfield, but she’ll sit beside Sophie and Sophie will mutter she doesn’t want the bad dreams to come back. “They won’t come back Soph, I’ll fight ‘em off.” Amy will always respond with. “With what?” Sophie will whisper, even if she knows the answer already. “My bare hands.”

Sophie always sleeps better after that.

Amy loves her sister, and is so impressed and awed by the beautiful and strong woman she’s shaping up to be. She’ll never admit it to her face, but she looks up to Sophie in more than one way.

Sophie loves Amy too! There are times where she’ll wish she can strangle her younger sister, but once a sister, always a sister. When she’s with Amy, she feels lighter, more confident, freer somehow. Amy’s her rock and reminds her that while she might not know her elven donors, she still has biological family.

[kxlebcross]

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

[dailydoseofdevy]

Title: Don’t Know Why

Artist: Devin Townsend

Album: Ziltoid The Omniscient (Bonus Disc)

Lyrics/Transcription below:

“Greetings humans!

I am Ziltoid, the Omniscient. Welcome to the bonus disc of my first album: Ziltoid The Omniscient, ironically enough. In this next ten to fifteen minutes, you will hear some terrible, terrible, bonus material. But you know it’s Ziltoid, so it’s fun! Enjoy! Indeed!“

[The following part has Ziltoid reading lyrics from "Soilwork". The first is called "I, Vermin" and the other is called "Sick Heart River", both from the album "Sworn to a Great Divide". This particular Soilwork album was recorded in Devin’s Devlab, and he served as a producer for the album.] “Signal, high and low! They bring the tooth and nail! Fast or slow. Will you give me just one dammit second to bail out of reach, Before I do as you please... Times two! Cause I might be wrong, Am I the only one who sees the damage is done? And it wont be long before I loose my faith and make a run And become like you! Indeed! I will make another plan to find what is left, and nothing less! Still, I won't thread, I find my own way and make it all worthwhile! Call, call on me darkness! Wait, wait on me now! Wont you say, say that I'm sorry. ‘Cause I wont wait! So I found another form, it's breathing life! It must have been there the whole time when I was dead, ‘Cause I was pledged to emptiness! And now I let myself to see all the things I just didn't expect! Still, I remember! Still, I repent! I never walked thought the nether despite my decent! Reborn, Acknowledging the past of me that was lost. I have repressed too many years My utopia was within my grasp Doomed in absentia Left to be sentenced Still rising to cherish all the things I have left. Call, call on me darkness! Wait, wait on me now! Wont you say, say that I'm sorry. Cause I wont wait! Indeed!”

[The following part is an interview with a Swedish radio host. I would have transcribed in Swedish and then provided an English translation but I’m not really that proficient in Swedish, so I’ll just do my best to translate what I understand. Anybody here happen to be an expert on Swedish dialects?]

Kenneth Ölboy: “Yes, welcome to this 30-minute long program. Today we have a highly requested guest. He has been awaited for a long, long time. Allow me to present, Ziltoid.”

Ziltoid: “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! It is a pleasure and distinct honor to be here in. Well you, this is, this is, this is Sweden you say? So anyway, your first question?“ (Fans screaming and clapping in the background throughout entire skit)

Ölboy: “Yes, I have questions, and many who have phoned in too, amongst others Lisa from Norrköping, from the chapel at Norra bro with: ’I heard that you mentioned meatballs, do you prefer pork, or possibly, possibly, beef?’”

Ziltoid: “Well, yes, yes. Those photographs were definitely a low point in my career. And you know, I did it for the money. I was a student working on Ziltoidia 5, and before I got to Ziltoidia 9 I needed, you know, I just needed a little bit of cash to propel myself into the stardom that I, that I currently enjoy on Ziltoidia 9. And I, I apologize. I mean we all, we all, we all do stupid things, you know, but if you notice the size of my schlädel, it’s absolutely fabulous, don’t you think?“

Ölboy: “Yeah, then we have.. I think we have Lennard with us from Ödåkra here. Lennard what were you going to ask?“

Lennard: [“ABSOLUTE GIBBERISH TO ME“]

Ziltoid: “Yes, yes. Twice. Only twice. And the second time was forced, and I have to admit it wasn’t quite as enjoyable as the first. But, but you know, I-I think that, in the long run, these things make a Ziltoidian a Ziltoidian.”

Ölboy: “Yeah, then I think we’ll go with the next lady. I think we have Jennifer in, from Höganäs joining us. Hello little lady, go ahead Jennifer.”

Jennifer: “Yeah, I don’t know if you have something called polka, something called paradise and something called pantaloons, on your planet, that you come from. Polka, PMS, unagi and Hanna-Barbera Valley. Polka, do you also polka?” [Full disclosure: I have no idea, but this is all I can hear..]

Ziltoid: “While I do appreciate the interv.. I do appreciate the interview, please do not forget that or.. or look.. overlook that fact. But I have to say; Do not make fun of the world pantaloons. They are absolutely straddling, and I paid a top dollar for them! ”

Ölboy: “Yes then I do believe we have Joni from Piteå with us. Go ahead Jon.“

Joni: “Yes hello. This is where I’ve heard that you had a band about two thousand years ago. I would really like to hear something from that record. Is that possible?”

Ziltoid: “Oh yes, the Gravy Killers, of course, yes. I didn’t think you knew about the Gravy Killers. I’m, I’m actually quite fond of that band. We were, we were a, a big hit on Ziltoidia 5. Yes, it, this, this track that we’ll play for you is, is, is a small little diddy from our first demo recording. It’s called ‘Blarg Baskala’.“

The Gravy Killers: “BLARG BASKAL! BLARG BASKAL! BLARG BASKAL! BLARG BASKAL! BLARG BAR-BAR BASKAL!  BLAR BASKAL! BLARG BULEH! ULELELEH! BLAR BLARG BASKAL! BLARG BASKAL! BLARG BASKAL! (HAHAHA LA-LA LA. LA-LA-LA. WAH. WAH WAH-WA-AH. WAH WAH. WA-UH WAH. WAH WAH WA-UH WAH. WAH WAH WA-UH WAH.)”

Ölboy: “I do think that was all for tonight. We would like to give a big thank you to Ziltoid, for taking the time to join us in the studio. See you again tomorrow, my name is Kenneth Ölboy.”

Ziltoid: “Yes, thank you for the interview, Kenneth Ölboy. It was indeed a.. distinct pleasure. And until next time, understand that ‘Ziltoid The Omniscient’  hits your record stores in the very near future, and you will probably download it so it won’t make a huge difference, but if you do see it, buy seven! Thank you very much for the interview Ölboy, we’ll talk to you in the near future. Indeed.”

(Demented screaming continues into the next part.)

[The next part that Ziltoid quotes is originally from an essay by Alan Watts called "The New Alchemy" in which he was asked by a psychiatric research group to take 100 micrograms of lysergic acid, just to see whether it would reproduce anything resembling a mystical experience.] “This is it. Colors became so vivid that flowers, leaves, and fabrics seemed to be illuminated from inside. The random patterns of blades of grass in a lawn appeared to be exquisitely organized without, however, any actual distortion of vision. Black ink or sumi paintings by Chinese and Japanese artists appeared almost to be three dimensional photographs, and what are ordinarily dismissed as irrelevant details of speech, behavior, appearance, and form seemed in some indefinable way to be highly significant. Listening to music with closed eyes, I beheld the most fascinating music; Patterns of dancing jewelry, mosaic, tracery, and abstract images. At one point everything appeared to be uproariously funny, especially the gestures and actions of people going about their lives and everyday business actions. Ordinary remarks seemed to reverberating with double and quadruple meanings, and the role-playing behavior of those around me not only became unusually evident but also implied concealed attitudes contrary or complementary to the overt intention. In short, the screening or selective apparatus of our normal interpretative evaluation of experience had been partially suspended, with the result that I was presumably projecting the sensation of meaning or significance upon just about everything. The whole experience was vastly entertaining and interesting, but yet as nothing like any mystical experience that I had had before. Indeed. “

(Indeed!)

Yes. Yes. Yes. Ziltoid the Omniscient here. Thank you so much for paying attention. Close wrapped attention, I’m sure you have. Until the next time know this; Ziltoid the Omniscient feels an incredibly warm sensation in his mid-region towards you. I think you call it love. We, from Ziltoidia 9, call it heartburn. Indeed! Good evening!”