#school is so hard
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Haven’t had much time for art lately, but the doodles in my notes are going hard 😤💪
#drawtectives#grendan highforge#rosé drawtectives#gyorik rogdul#i’m so tired#school is so hard#quisters#drawfee
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The light, I see it (end of the quarter) I have almost escaped to freedom (Winter break) back to my fortress with my sacred texts and films (my webnovels and animated series)
#its so close#just a few more days#school is so hard#my bed i miss my bed#and real food#that i dont have to pay for#or that isn’t school food#my goodness#i can have chicken that doesn’t have salmonella in it#and actual meat again#and my family#i miss my family#goooooooodness gracious#and actually going to bed before 1-3 am doing schoolwork#ill stay up that late but doing things I like#oohh and sleeping past 6:30#i miss that#my god
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20 Questions for Writers!
I was tagged by @marvel-ous-m thank you so much my dear ily <3 <3 <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I currently have 32 works...Yowza!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
Hahahaha ok ok ok I'm scared to look but I will. I have 696,369 words on Ao3. That is...so many. And there are way more unpublished!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
So far, I have only written for Stranger Things, other than my one teaser chapter for a Buffy x Stranger Things crossover I really do hope to return to one day.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
songs that voices never share (aka deaf!Steve part 1)
Stranger Therapy (which has recently made a resurgance - and a sort of part 2 is on the way!)
i wanna cut to the feeling
i can't tune you out
Freaky Friday (Steddie's Version) - honestly this one is still my baby
5. Do you respond to comments?
Always always always!! Even if people just write a heart or something, I write back. When I get a notification that someone commented, it literally makes my day and I re-read them often as a pick-me-up.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Honestly I don't write angsty endings!! I much prefer the happy ones. Closest I've got to angsty I guess is I'm counting the days to the rapture, depending on whose ending you focus on lol
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oh GOSH. Almost all of them end on a sugary sweet note, but I'll link flowers and ink because that whole thing is just fluff fluff fluffy fluff
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really? And I'm super grateful for that because on the few times I've gotten semi rude feedback, it has totally plagued my brain hahaha. I'm thankful that so far nothing too bad. (Please nobody change that!)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I mean, I have, but I don't have anything 18+ on this account very intentionally.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I would, but I haven't really gotten it to stick! One chapter of my Buffy crossover is out, and I have a TLOU crossover idea in my drafts, and there's of course my nearly completed WIP Eddie Munson vs the World, but that's more of an inspired by and less of a crossover. By the way, everyone read that one because it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever written.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I sure hope not! But it's possible, I suppose.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but AHHH that would be very cool.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes!! I co-wrote a Carrie AU with another fandom friend where Eddie was Carrie and Steve/Chrissy care for him and save him after the prom fiasco. It's on my friend's account, because it's got violence and other explicit content, but it really launched me into taking more risks in my writing!
I also started collabing with my bestie @steviesbicrisis on another fic, but then both of us got super busy. Sorry about that!
Me and @withacapitalp also came up with a banger idea for a collab last night so...we shall see!
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Oh gosh, all time???? Oh, man. Steddie makes me feral to write, obviously, but to shake things up I'll add Spuffy and Literati (Rory and Jess from Gilmore Girls) into the mix.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?
This is so tough because I have thing this where, if I publish a chapter, I HAVE to finish it. But!! There are many things in my WIP folder I don't think I will ever get to, including my Buffy crossover and the one where Dustin and Erica has a time-traveling daughter.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Just like my friend who tagged me, i think characterization and dialogue are my strong suits. It's what I get positive feedback on the most. I also think I'm funny though! At least, in the fics that are more silly lol.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Probablyyyy ummm descriptions? Yeah, that. I've gotten A LOT better about it, but I usually end up writing a lot of dialogue with minimal action because it's easier for me lol
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Okay, so I've done it, and it's TOUGH. It was for deaf Steve (tagged above, it's my most popular fic). ASL was especially challenging because it can't really be written down, so I had to get creative.
In one fic, any time a character spoke Russian, I just italicized it and made a note at the beginning that mean it wasn't in English canonically. I am not fluent in Russian, so I didn't want to risk relying on Google Translate! Plus, I'd have to write the English part anyway for readers.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I think. Technically. It was...ha ha, nope. I don't even wanna say it.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
This is so hard, they are all my babies and I put so much care into them! I'm gonna give a shoutout to Back to the Future (Hawkins Edition), as I always do. Now that it's been done over a year I can see the flaws in it and what I would have done different, but the amount of planning and thought and research I put in that thing deserves recognition lol. I think my current long project, we can be heroes (aka part 2 of deaf steve!), could take over as the biggest undertaking, though. But so far it's probably about equal lol.
The besties I have tagged above are welcome to do this. I also wanna nominate @tartarusknight and @imfinereallyybut no pressure!
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I GOT A 4.0 THIS SEMESTER AND IM GENUINELY SO HAPPY ABOUT IT EHEHEHEH i need good grades cause i want to try to transfer to a better school and qualify for study abroad scholarships so i'm. SUPER happy about this :D
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and they were roommates
#danny phantom#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#jack fenton#college au#i designed the house so here are some of my thoughts about it hahaha#the mansons bought the house really flippantly because it made financial sense not to rent for the next four years#and also they can probs make money renting it out after the trio graduates#they were not expecting how involved the foleys and the fentons would get lmao#the trio lives together really well#but sam hates how the boys take care of the bathroom on their floor#she forces them to clean it before people come over#danny is way more open about his powers in this house#he could have gotten away with that last one if he remembered that he can be invisible#but the boy is sleep deprived so who can blame him#sam colored her hair pink senior year of high school but light colors are too hard to maintain so she swapped to dark purple later
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Art School AU LOL 🦌🎨 based on true stories hahaha
#my professors have very interesting personalities#this honestly may be a way for me to unwind from school#strip comics every now and then#school is gonna be so hard!!#but I’m really excited I think I’m gonna grow A LOT#but it’s sad when you don’t have time for your favorite hobby sighhh#such is the way of a scholar#pfft#hazbin hotel#my doods#alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#niffty#angel dust#charlie morningstar#lucifer hazbin
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Can’t believe I failed my exam all because I didn’t write a 200 word essay about sexual assualt!
#I’m gonna sue#tw sex assault#school is so hard#I’m gonna drop out bc I have no energy left#all I really want is to be an actress and I don’t even like alcohol#stupid weather#canceled the exams too
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returning to my roots (modern loz)
#trying to draw again SO HARD. they werent kidding about art school burnout guys jesus fucking christ#skribbles#loz#botw#totk
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ok gayboy
#LOTUS PERSONA ART LETS GOOOOOOOO IT ONLY TOOK ME FIVE FUCKING MONTHS#this is for the three ppl that follow me and know about persona eat up my loves 😍#i love narcissistic bastards who are doomed by the narrative he's a keeper fs#(idk anything abt akechi except hes a gayass detective and loves pancakes and is a tsundere /JJJJJJJ)#he has this sopping wet quality about him that i adore very much. it's the homosexuality i think#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#akechi goro#goro akechi#lotus draws#bro why is his hair so fucking hard to draw it's like chuuya's but if he used a straightening iron#speaking of him this is the hair color i wish he had :(((( my fav hair color frfr it exceeds every other one#the light desaturated brown with hints of russet MWAH MWAH#anyway it's three on a school night i think i should sleep ig😔
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The vibes in class today warrant the arson possum
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Part 2 finally! Part 3 to come soonish,,,
You can find part 1 here!
#my art#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt casey jones#casey jr#casey jones jr#casey jones#rottmnt casey jr#rottmnt future leo#future leo#oh my god i had so much fun with this#made lizzie scream#anyway some hard truths are laid out!#because leo NEEDS his kid to understand#and the only way leo can PROTECT him is to PREPARE him#theres no soft hits in the apocalypse#also consistent art style?#whos she i dont know her#she doesnt go to this school sorry#i will TRY to keep proportions acurate but PLEASE dont pay attention to it otherwise#playing the rules hard and fast here we dont stop for even consistency#anyway#dont think about F!leo thinking about his kids death#dont do it dont do it dont do it
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something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.
#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting#as her deity being overcome with rage#something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard#and something about people loving you anyway#something about 'your anger isnt scary to me'#as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD#something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself#and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something#but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up#and how mad that makes you. at yourself.#this fight is so much#fhjy#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high
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d a m n , i t ' s ' i ' ... not 'we' i guess everybody can perish now
#NOT THE MASQUERADE UPDATE attacking me on the first few SECONDS#twisted wonderland#twst#malleus draconia#azul ashengrotto#idia shroud#twst yuu#twst mc#glorious masquerade#fanart#'damn it's so hard not to fall in love in this school' the saga#malleus really tries to increase his affection points with me when i didn't really care for him before#he cares so much of his friend#FSDH the next episode after this one is so funny tho H E L P idia being narrator throughout the story is too funny#he needs to be in part of the groups more
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Not to brag but, I’m an official nurse as of today. So that means, I legally have the knowledge to know what drugs to use to make it easier for me to throw you in my back seat to take home with me. But that not all of course, I know your body better than you do.
I can pick apart and coax things out of your little body you never thought possible, all while abusing and molding your holes with my cock until I get my fill and fix you back up for when I decide to break you again. Do with that what you will.
#oh I also graduated nursing school so that’s cool.#t4t ns/fw#bd/sm dom#ftm ns/fw#bd/sm sadist#ftm dom#ftm top#t4t top#t4t dom#t4t nsft#dom thoughts#hard dom#sadist dom#ftm bd/sm#primal dom#pleasure dom#cnc dom#puppy dom#feral dom#nsft dom#bd/sm nsft#trans nsft#nsft cnc#cnc drugging#cnc k!nk#cnc kidnapping#drugging kink#medical kink#doctor kink#medfet
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Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness
(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#dumping my “fanfic_doodles.clip” file here literally#sorry the style is messy#now I see them all Im like “ok it's all over the place zero/100 aesthetically pleasuring post”#hhhh its the thought that counts?#And tbh the point is just to convince you to read theses#because I'm like OBSSEEESSED with theses since you appeared in my notes#Every fic is gold#Me baiting my followers with pretty enough pictures to read fanfics#this being said I should really take the time to color properly my stuff#but I don't liiiiiiiiike it#there is tons of more talented artists if people want colored beautiful amazing art#me I can't really make my “”“spontaneous”“” “”“doodles”“” pretty without trying hard and at the end it's meh#They're so flat too#yesterday I was like “oh my scenes are becoming less flat I improved maybe”#Then I scrolled on my storyboard insta and was like#yeah sure no#I'm still faaaaaar away from the industry standards#I studied like at three arts school and I'm still bad at drawing TAT#why is my brain not working v_v#look brain I'm showing you nice pictures learn from them#brain: no Im gonna overfixate on this left hand here and only this#anyway
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