#schmicke

[nickismyspiritanimal]

homoerotic sitcom friendships

[saintsenara]

Between Ron and Harry, who is Nick and who is Schmidth from new girl

thank you very much for the ask, anon. this is the content i log in to tumblr for.

with the exception of their profound sexual tension, i don't actually think harry or ron have enough in common with nick and schmidt for either of them to be like either of the others.

harry absolutely has nick's "keeps all his stuff in a box" and "wouldn't understand why his friend was fuming he didn't buy him a cookie" vibe, but he doesn't have his "can't tell a lie without having a breakdown" and "aspires to be a long-haul trucker on mars" one.

similarly, while ron would have a lot of respect for schmidt once he enters his aggressive wife guy era, he's not going to be particularly interested in him during his wannabe wolf of wall street one.

the real truth is that they're winston and furguson.

[propalahramota]

I miss them so (Schmigadoon! and Schmicago!)

[rigginsstreet]

Not Jake Johnson saying the new girl cast used to read fanfiction to each other jfndkcndkn

[terrible-romance-reviews]

Ok so i just finished reading Promises and Pomegranates by uhhhh

*looks at smudged writing on hand*

Sav R. Miller

And i gotta say,

Not that bad actually. Like, there were some loose plot threads but it wasn't heinous.

However

What the actual fuck was with the constant insessant horny like it felt like every other page was smut while I was being drip fed the story where is my solid, concrete plot??

The more I think about this one the less plot i feel like there actually was, just like. Some character backstory and some serious misunderstandings and communication issues.

Spoilers ahead so stop reading if you actually want to read the book BUT

You got, a lot of background on Kallum, our "Hades" male lead, which, if i didnt already mention, this is a loosely hades persephone inspired romance. By saying this, there is a whole conflict point that we are actively leading up to is that Elena, our Persephone, has a narcissistic mother who fucked Kallum over a decade ago and groomed him??? Elena's youngest sister quite literally makes a groomer joke about the whole situation.

Unlike A Touch Of Darkness though, symbolism actually means something in this book, and things aren't typically mentioned simply for the sake of being there, save for pomegranates, but even THAT was because Kallum began calling Elena persephone, so she got a tattoo right under the fucking tit, she was genuinely obsessed.

I enjoyed the fact that we switched persepctives and it was established who's perspective we were reading each chapter, that was pretty good.

Also pretty good was the obvious enjoyment of bloodplay and marking?? Someone as your own. Very big possessiveness and jealousy issues in this whole book.

Elena also had her fiance murdered, right in front of her, and then got forced to marry Kallum right in front of the corpse of her husband. Kinda fucked up but later established that that DIDNT EVEN FUCKING TRAUMATIZE HER.

In fact, not a single death seems to traumatize anyone in the book. Because. Reasons I fucking guess.

What does kind of traumatize Elena specifically, who was the main reciever of traumatic events happening to her, such as, assult twice, finding out her husband fucked her mom, from her drunk narcissistic mom, getting kidnapped, you know. The works. What does not feel like it is properly touched on, is how that trauma affects her. It is like, kind of addressed? But not in any way that felt accurate.

And of course I know I cant expect the world from a trashy romance novel, it will not stop me from complaining at every chance I get.

Book was a solid like, 6.5 out of 10. Smut was great, characters were shallow, plot was attempted and kept up throughout the entire book, female lead wasn't completely insufferable! Not bad at all.

[carryonlikewedidbefore]

btw random aside. I believe it’s required by the Bunnings rules that the sausages be gluten free… despite them being served in bread

Overseas followers if you think our language is weird, just know that in Australia we have replaced the tradition of Sunday Church with a new tradition of going to a hardware store to eat sausages in the carpark.

Here is JFK's daughter attending one as part of a diplomatic mission of the American Ambassador (and no we are 100% not making this up).

At one point the hardware store banned people putting onion on top of their sausages due to all the injuries from people dropping them, and it was a national news story/outrage for weeks.

[abodehaven]

Feeling so Cozy just Looking at the living room Design

Step into a world of warmth and comfort with the living room design of Abode Haven. As you enter, a sense of coziness envelops you, inviting you to unwind and relax. Soft, plush furnishings beckon, while earthy tones and natural textures create a soothing ambiance. From the flicker of candlelight to the gentle glow of warm hues, every element is carefully curated to evoke a feeling of serene luxury. Whether you're curling up with a book or sharing laughter with loved ones, this living space is the epitome of comfort and tranquility."

[moorewr]

Dinner at McCormick and Schmicks

[bookaddictsguide]

Dinner at McCormick and Schmicks

[lightshome]

Dinner at McCormick and Schmicks

[nickismyspiritanimal]

Gay judgement

[bamsara]

What does Finor think of Tyran? Does she see through his whole act?

She sees the whole puppy love schmick and isn't impressed by it, but isn't aware of anything else. For being a fellow diciple it's very much a 'coworker I hardly talk to' sort of thing

[porcelainapparition]

The Charles Nelson Schmick House

Leetonia, Ohio

built in 1871

[jacobtheloofah]

do you know of "schmick your schmee, miss?"

.....no?

[lesbianbanana]

Little piece based on my Roman Empire au. basically it's the gods who didn't shift trying to work out why everyone else did. everyone is sad and lonely and traumatised.

breakdown ⬇️

✨Apollo✨. This au is centred around him. Basically he's trying to work out why everyone around him suddenly went all dark and violent (especially Artemis because Diana is MUCH more witchy scary than her). He goes around the block. Olympus is different. He's a Dii Consente now. Hestia (Vesta) has replaced Dionysus on the council so he goes off to find Dionysus (and finds Bacchus/Liber). He goes to visit Artemis (who is Diana and hates him). He goes to visit his mother (who is Latona and unsure why he keeps insisting she has a daughter called Artemis). He goes to visit Asclepius (who is Aesculapius, and still locked away). He tries to find the muses (who I just can't find mentioned in the Roman era much so they're just gone). Finally he goes to the Fates, and they're like "well, everyone's gone 😊. They're never ever going to come back the way they were 🤗. Bye 🤪" and then he goes and cries and shit but he gets better!!! He has some besties.

Nemesis!! She's goddess of retribution (revenge) so she turns up because Helios (Sol) keeps bitching about Apollo stealing his schmick. (Apollo didn't become associated with the sun until early Roman days). So she comes to Apollo and she's like "girl, this boy won't shut up. Also he hates you." And Apollo, standing with his new house on fire, is like, "YOU THINK???" and somewhere along the way they both work out neither of them switched like everyone else. (Nemesis has been a bit lonely down in the Underworld. Proserpina as Persephone, Pluto as Hades, Trivia as Hecate, Nox as Nyx, Somnus as Hypnos, Mors/Letum as Thanatos). So they both kind of stick together and Nemesis makes Apollo realise that legitimately a lot of people hate him for being a piece of shit back in Greece.

Iris is a messenger for the gods, and she's kind of peeved that MERCURY is getting all the credit for it, especially when Mercury's a little bitch. (didn't she mention in cotg that she wasn't annoyed at Ganymede for taking her role as cupbearer, but was annoyed Hermes had taken over messaging?) But she has first had experience just how much the gods have changed now. (MARS IS CALM?? HMMMM??? NO VIOLENCE ALL THE TIME???) but she's at a lot of the Roman Olympus parties and just kind of watches Apollo get drunk and shit because a) he doesn't want to be there and b) he doesn't want to remember that the family he's there with isn't his family. And at one point she's kind of like alright bitch that's enough, and she forces him to take care of himself <3

Apollo comes across while searching for Dionysus. Ariadne is usually just Ariadne in Roman times but sometimes she's Libera, like how Dionysus is Liber instead of Bacchus at times. So I kind of figured she'd be Libera whenever Dionysus was in Liber form, and be Ariadne whenever he was Bacchus. So as well as her husband being completely crazy, she also blacks out at times to get taken over by another goddess. This stops happening over time but it's still really annoying. Anyway Apollo tries to talk to her after he realises she's Ariadne, and girl gets pissed because why is Apollo the same and her husband completely not? She has this idea or something that Apollo did something to make this happen and Apollo is literally like "I AM JUST AS DISTRESSED AS YOU ARE" but he's also not sure whether it IS his fault or not. anyways Ariadne comes round after a few years and chats to him at a party on Olympus and she sort of gravitates towards his little group because she's very very lonely.

Britomartis is a Hunter of Artemis and doesn't generally hate Apollo, but doesn't like him either. But she, like all the other hunters, is 100% caught off guard when Artemis switches to Diana. And Apollo is around a lot because he wants to work out Diana and doesn't want her to hate him (which she does). Idk. Diana is very volatile in my head (at least during Roman Empire days) and gets very annoyed when her hunter's call her Artemis, so Britomartis sort of slips away and starts hanging out with Apollo, mainly because she's a little bit worried about him, and mainly because she knows Artemis would want him to be okay, even if Diana didn't care.

Ganymede probably got so much whiplash from this whole thing poor kid. Like, he's one of the newest gods to the pantheon, and suddenly everyone just shifts up and is super ANGRY. and bros like I am literally fourteen chill please. but he's up front with a lot of the gods as their cupbearer, so he sort of has to internalize his breakdown until he goes to Apollo and is like "get me tf out of here". And Apollo's like slowly recovering and is like holy fuck this boy traumatised, so he takes Ganymede under his wing and eventually just kidnaps him away from Jupiter. (he's a protector of youth, so I like to think he helped Ganymede settle in after his abduction).

Triton is pulled along by Iris. He's a messenger too and Iris kept messaging as a little defiance because there's no way the little punk Mercury is going to take her job. So she keeps in touch with all her friends and realises quite quickly that Triton is still Triton. Actually a lot of the sea deities stay the same, except mainly Poseidon as Neptune and Amphitrite as Salacia. And obviously Triton is the most affected by their change as they're his parents. He's not on the verge of fading but.. he is. Romans don't worship minor sea deities (which is why a lot of them didn't change) and he's kind of losing his will to go on while feeling like a stranger in his own house. So Iris pulls him away and up to hang out with all the others and he gets less lonely <3

Thetis was like a butterfly effect. Iris pulled Triton and Triton was like fuck it you're coming too. It's a little.. tense to say the least between Thetis and Apollo, but they warm up over time (centuries). It also gives Apollo the chance of redemption there. Also thetis doesn't like looking human and never has since she was forced to be with Peleus for a year. Thetis also like being a little shit and she will use that against Apollo.

Psyche!!! I love her. Obviously the switch up between Eros and Cupid is crazy. I cannot imagine Psyche being amused with her husband being a little child thing. And she didn't hate him, because she's all about loving the soul and stuff, but it did fed her up, so she kind of gravitated towards the gang. Psyche and Ariadne were probably friends before everything anyway since they could've bonded over both originally being mortals. Also Apollo being a little "she's the wife of the guy that cursed me and Daphne" character development

[silentsneezes]

I LOVE your marauders pics- I hope you keep writting them, I'm obsessed 💗

thank you so much anon!! 🫶 i really appreciate that :)

here’s a 1.5k word w/olfstar sickfic! i hope you enjoy (this is post hogwarts & they’re living together in their early 20s)

“heh-hRSCH! ughhh,” Remus groaned, a symptom of his exhaustion finally showing through.

Sirius took note of this, filing it away in his internal catalog of his boyfriend’s cold symptoms.

“Bless you Sneezy. Where are the other 6 dwarfs?”

“Sirius,” Remus snapped, already frustrated from his growing headache, “I’m trying to focus.”

For once, Sirius shut up. This silence lasted for all of 30 seconds.

“Would you quit that?” Remus turned around in his chair, fingers running through his hair in an attempt to find the cheerio Sirius had thrown at him. The cereal fell to the floor unceremoniously, breaking it half as it hit the hardwood.

Sirius continued to toss cheerios at his boyfriend, aiming for the freckle on his forehead.

“Seriously, I’m not in the mood,” Remus turned back around in his chair, trying to find his place in the article he was reading for his new job.

“Siriusly?” Sirius said with a cheeky grin, feeling a sense of pride as Remus flipped him the bird and mumbled, “Jar.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and stood up, tugging out his wallet and dropping a dollar into a mason jar labeled “Sirius puns”. The jar was nearly filled to the brim, and earned at least seven dollars in revenue every week. Remus had instated the pun jar after a particularly long week of jokes from Sirius and James, but it hadn’t done anything to deter them.

Sirius sat back down next to his boyfriend, cheerios in hand, weighing the cost vs benefit of continuing to throw the cereal at Remus.

“hH’MPSXSch!” Remus smothered a sudden sneeze into his elbow, his jacket only partially muffling the wetness of the sneeze.

“Bless you,” Sirius threw a cheerio into his mouth, not-so-patiently waiting for his boyfriend to realize that he wasn’t going to get any work done tonight.

“Thangs. Snff- Thanks,” Remus fought the congestion in his voice, ignoring the growing pressure in his sinuses.

After reading the same paragraph five times without absorbing any information, Remus shut his laptop, sighing and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Sirius took this opportunity to wordlessly hand Remus a tissue, pressing the soft fabric into his boyfriend’s hand. Remus looked like he was about to argue, but after sniffing against the congestion again, he gave in and blew his nose softly.

“How’re you feeling?” Sirius was met with a glare. It was response enough, “That bad, huh? Well, you look peachy!”

Sirius gently kissed the tip of Remus’s red nose. The werewolf pushed Sirius away lightly, “You’re going to get sigk dummy.”

“Sick schmick. There’s no way I’m going to stop kissing my boyfr- Rem?” He cut himself off as Remus’s expression dissolved, his eyebrows knit together and his nose twitching.

“H-hold onnhhrRRGSCH! NGTSCxXHiEW!” Remus turned away from Sirius as much as possible, but the air was still damp with spray. Sirius blinked back at his boyfriend, a little surprised by how productive his sneezes were. Usually, Sirius was the messy sneezer, but it seemed Remus’s cold had taken refuge in his nose.

“Sorry,” Remus mumbled into a tissue, his cheeks as red as his nose. Sirius smiled endearingly, rolling his eyes and murmuring, “Only you would apologize for sneezing.”

Remus looked up from his tissue confusedly, “Whad?”

“It’s a basic human function, and you’ve got a cold worse than the black plague. You can’t help it Rem, it’s just an involuntary response,” Sirius shrugged. It was somewhat unsettling for Sirius to talk about “involuntary responses” without making a dick joke, his restraint revealing how worried he actually was about Remus’s cold.

“Id’s not thad bad. I’b judt a liddle sigk,” Remus argued feebly. He noted to avoid certain letters. Fuck congestion.

“Right. Blow your nose sneezy. I can hardly understand you.”

After a few good blows and many apologies, Remus’s nose finally reached the point where he could some-what breathe.

“What do you say? I cook up some dinner and we watch some TV?” Sirius suggested, standing up and absentmindedly collecting cheerios from the floor.

“You? Cook?” Remus raised a skeptical eyebrow at his boyfriend. Sirius huffed and pouted back, picking up a cheerio and flicking it at Remus’s face, “I can heat up canned soup, y’know.”

“Last time you nearly started a fire-” Remus started to point out, but he stopped as a cheerio hit him in the forehead. He scowled and snatched it from his desk where it fell, pelting it back at Sirius.

Sirius just grinned back, picking up the cheerio and tossing it into his mouth. Remus grimaced, “It’s a wonder you’re not sick too, eating shit from the floor.”

Sirius shrugged and set the bag of cheerios on Remus’s desk, moving his hands up to Remus’s shoulders to gently rub his sore muscles. Remus lets out a little breath of pleasure as Sirius massages a particularly sore knot.

“No more working tonight, alright love?” Sirius murmured, pressing a kiss to Remus’s temple.

Remus just grumbled in response, but he could tell he wasn’t going to be productive. Between the sneezing and growing headache, working wasn’t an option right now. Sirius seemed to pick up on this, and ran a hand through Remus’s hair gently, coaxing him up, “C’mon, let’s get some food and meds in you.”

Remus let Sirius help him up, his head swimming slightly as he stood. Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus’s waist and murmured a reassuring, “Take your time, I’ve got you.”

Remus bit back a retort, his instinct to shy away from any assistance. Being coddled wasn’t something he took well to, especially after years of needing help after transformations. He tensed, but allowed Sirius to guide him to their kitchen and sit him down at the countertop.

Sirius put on the tea kettle and tapped it with his wand, magically filling it with water. He grabbed two mugs from the cabinet, knowing Remus would feel smothered if he made tea just for him, but he was less likely to protest if Sirius ‘wanted’ tea too.

He tutted as he opened their desolate pantry, which was mostly filled with half eaten chocolate bars and cereal boxes- he stopped himself from making a joke about being barely-functioning adults, knowing Remus isn’t in the mood for his usual quips.

He turned around as he heard a soft “hh-heh” from behind him, frowning sympathetically as he saw Remus tent his hands over his nose, “HrRD’dTSCH!”

Remus paused, his breath catching once before he snapped forwards with another muffled sneeze, “hHrDTSCHU!”

“Bless” Sirius murmured as he flicked his wrist, using wandless magic to summon a handkerchief. It was admittedly a little odd, a defect of him deciding not to use his wand, and had an ugly pattern tracing its edges, but it was still functional. He set the handkerchief in front of Remus, turning back to the pantry as Remus cleaned himself up.

Sighing, Sirius ran a hand through his hair and decidedly pulled open their drawer of take-out menus instead, “We’ve got nothing here. I’ll order some soups and noodles, yeah?”

“Sounds fide,” Remus mumbled in response, the handkerchief pinched over the bridge of his nose in an effort to relieve some of the pressure in his sinuses. His breath hitched again, and he let out a quiet groan, his brows furrowing in annoyance. He rubbed his nose with the handkerchief, only stopping when it made a wet squelching noise.

“Hh-heh,” Remus hitched, his face hidden behind the folds of the handkerchief, “h’zMPSTDCH!”

Even muffled against the handkerchief, Sirius could tell how messy the sneeze was and frowned in sympathy, “Bless you Moons.”

Remus just huffed at the blessing, giving his nose a soft blow and rubbing his temples.

“Headache?” Sirius asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice. He knew Remus wouldn’t take well to him asking about his symptoms, and wasn’t surprised as he received a glare from his boyfriend. He rolled his eyes fondly and turned his attention to the tea kettle as it started whistling, dropping tea bags in each mug before pouring the hot water over them.

He added two spoonfuls of honey to Remus’s tea, hoping to soothe the sore throat he surely had, but would never admit to. He does the same to his tea as he notices Remus open his mouth to argue, ever stubborn about receiving any care while sick. He passed the tea over to Remus, offering him a little smile and brushing his thumb along Remus’s hand gently before walking over to their home phone and dialing the number of their favorite take-out place.

TBC

sorry for the sudden ending, i’ll write more if the inspiration strikes (it probably will, im a bit obsessed with these two at the moment)

if anyone has any w/olfstar requests/fic ideas please send them my way!!