#schizophrenic sam winchester

[schizosamwincester]

Sam just had to make sure. Just one test to make sure it was just a delusion, and then he’d ask Dean to drop him off at the nearest emergency room. In a week, he would walk out with shiny new antipsychotics and that would be that. He took it right at the store. No reason to leave evidence of his absurdity behind in the motel. He pissed on the stick, then waited to finally, finally have proof that the whole thing was just a delusion that had gone on too far. Sam didn’t expect to keep hallucinating. At least. It had to be a hallucination. He peed on it with his dick. Obviously he wasn't pregnant. The second line was all in his head. But well. It was Lucifer. Who knew what Lucifer could do? He needed to ask Dean.

2.2k, schizophrenic!Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester & Dean Winchester, past Sam Winchester/Lucifer, mpreg

Hey look at me! I've finally earned the name of my blog! Anyway, thanks to @spnyuri for accidentally inspiring it with this post.

[schizosamwincester]

God I love this in terms of schizophrenic Sam. When Dean knows, he isn't going to be able to accept it because if Sam is crazy (which, like, let's be real, is the beginning and end of what Dean knows about schizophrenia) that means that Dean failed in raising him. Dean can't have failed, so Sam can't be schizophrenic. Meanwhile Sam is just desperate for his brother to understand because his brain has always been a mess, and getting diagnosed at Stanford finally made everything make sense. He needs Dean to see that this is a part of him, and Dean can't because that means Dean is a failure.

Also someone on the internet actually using the term narcissism correctly? Who knew that was even possible!

It's been a while since I watched Supernatural, so don't take my opinions as gospel or anything. But I think Dean is self-hating to the point of narcissism in some ways. Don't get me wrong, I empathise with Dean and understand why fans largely do too. But his self-loathing warps his perception and becomes the centre of EVERYTHING and at times that really has ripple effects on those around him - particularly Sam.

Take their childhood, Sam has a right to mourn the fact that he didn't get a normal childhood. He's allowed to be angry that he didn't get a home, a present father, a stable community, and consistent education. But whenever Sam attempts to express his complicated feelings about his childhood, Dean immediately interprets it as ' oh I was supposed to look out for you. Are you saying I failed? Are you confirming I'm worthless?' which grinds the conversation to a complete halt. Because of Dean's intense self-criticism, Sam can never really be 100% honest with him or ask for support with his own issues, especially regarding their childhood. As anything outside of 100% gratitude just becomes another stick for Dean to beat himself with, and the conversation is immediately derailed.

Not only does Deans self-hatred mean that Sam's expression of his own experiences are pretty consistently shut down. In some ways, I think Dean strips Sam of his autonomy - he's so self-loathing, he sees every decision Sam makes as being about/a reaction to him. A good example of this is Stanford. Rather than understanding Stanford for what it was, an attempt by Sam to carve out a better life from himself and escape hunting. Dean views it as betrayal or abandonment, some re-affirmation of his own belief that he's not worth caring about. Rather than understanding it's a rejection of hunting, he sees it as Sam rejecting him. To Dean, Sam isn't attempting to find a better life, he's punishing the family.

Overall, it's interesting that people largely and rightfully sympathise with Dean due to his self-hatred. However, I don't see as much discussion about how his self-hatred doesn't just hurt him, it hurts those he's close to, as it colours his interpretation of their every action. Dean's self-loathing is always the biggest thing in the room and that has consequences.

[schizosamwincester]

"An Overdue Downfall" // Sam Winchester

I never thought I'd be pretentious enough to make a webweave of a poem I wrote in high school. Then I saw this webweave. And I went "woah, that is exactly Sam" and at the same time, "woah those lyrics are literally just that poem I wrote in high school." So. I kinda had to.

I wrote this poem about my psychotic break, so this is also a schizophrenic Sam webweave. Look at me, actually earning my url!

Full poem text:

invincible. I used to be indestructible, used to drink down other people's problems like they were water, not blood, used to let them shoot obligations at me like bullets and hold so much stress my veins began to bubble but I never bled until I broke.

[schizo-sam-winchester]

What age do y’all think Sam developed schizophrenia? Because I can’t decide if I want it to be as a teen or during the hallucifer arc. Both are juicy options to chew on but idk

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

R.D. Laing, Sanity, Madness and the Family (1964)

[schizosamwincester]

Reason #9523 that Sam is schizophrenic. God I was like that as a kid. You might as well wrestle angels because those thought patterns will later turn into latching hard onto delusions.

(The self-isolation is a schizophrenic thing too)

YOU MIGJT AS WELL WRESTLE ANGELSSLSS AUGUHHHHHHHHH SAMMY❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[stoned-blogger]

When Sam Winchester was seeing things he was “having premonitions”

When I see things I “have schizophrenia”

And I just want to say that whoever came up with that logic is so wrong because I can see the future

[psychoticcharacterbracket]

[t4tharuspex]

ok so the thing abt sam winchester is that he’s my little sister and he’s the antichrist and he’s a trans woman and he’s a pretentious ivy league student and he’s a lesbian and he’s a whore and he’s a monster and he’s an asshole and he’s five years old and he’s 50 and he’s a rookie and he’s retired he’s balding and he has a beautiful brunette blowout with beach waves and subtle copper highlights and he has criminal 2014 hipster sideburns he’s a schizophrenic psychic and a christian i would do anything for him and if i saw him stuck in tar on the highway i’d floor it

[schizosamwincester]

*points at my username*

Okay. So. There are many different types of headcanons. Some are heavily based on canon and pretty much true (i.e. when I say Dean is aromantic allosexual. Pretty clear canon evidence that he has plenty of sexual attraction but no real interest in romance). Some are not completely founded in canon, but they build off canon and say "hey, wouldn't it play interestingly off what we already know about this character if this were true?" (i.e. any john/dean relationship is based in the emotional incest that is definitely there, looking at all dean's weirdness about masculinity and saying it'd be really interesting if he was trans). And some are just "look. Vibes. I want it to be true so it's true. Because there are vibes."

I'm schizophrenic. I see myself in Sam. That really is all there is to it. Sure, yes, he does legitimately hallucinate and everything, but that's not what convinced me. It was "Home." The way Sam latches onto a vision and needs to follow it right now and cannot possibly let go? It's like he has blinders on and that's all he can see. That's what being delusional is like. He can't concentrate on anything else. His movements get twitchy like mine do. Nothing can get in the way of this problem that must be solved right now.

I also like the idea that when Sam went to Stanford, he wasn't just trying to leave his life, but also to run away from his own brain. Personally, I always had delusional thought patterns, even if I never recognized them, and they were so exhausting to live with when I didn't know what they were so I couldn't control them. I did want to live a radically different life after I graduated high school, because I thought that would somehow quiet my brain. Of course, I had a psychotic break before that could happen. Which is good, because it was a very bad plan for other reasons.

There are more concrete pieces of evidence that can be given — he's very special interesty and I'll die on the hill that schizophrenics have special interests too, and he did really well in school and that's a very common thing with schizophrenics.

Also, I am just of the belief that absolutely any headcanon that makes Sam feel like more of a freak is a good headcanon. Schizophrenia? Schizophrenics are nutcases who live on the street. If someone is psychotic, they want to kill you. They're insane and scary and out of control. Given all Sam's canonical fears of being irredeemable, of being out of control, that he'll do something bad no matter how hard he tries? It fits perfectly.

But yeah, basically I'm schizophrenic and Sam's struggles remind me of my own.

Anyway, if you want to see more, I've got the tag #schizophrenic sam winchester for my posts on the subject, and if you DM me I'm in the middle of working on another one that I will show to whoever wants to see.

(I'll also say I think it's interesting how common OCD Sam is as a headcanon because I was misdiagnosed with OCD for years. So I think the two headcanons kind of reinforce each other)

Do you think that Dean or Sam could have some mental issue, like a personality disorder or something like that ?

(Just want some hc)

[transfemgorgug]

society if sam winchester had been canonically schizophrenic

[schizosamwincester]

Dean always thought he was good at handling Sam’s episodes, right up until another one stared him in the face. He’d much rather deal with a demon. He understood demons. Sam’s brain was a mystery. 

1k, Schizophrenic!Sam Winchester, Sam & Dean Winchester, Dean POV, S3 E11: Mystery Spot

A short fic that gave me a chance to show Dean's perspective of Sam's schizophrenia, how he's learned to handle it over the years, and what he really thinks about it. Oh, and Mystery Spot. Obviously everyone loves mystery spot.

[littlebunnywitch]

A Ramble Rant about Cg-ifying Parentifed Older Siblings

So this Rambley rant is brought you by - Me having tried to find Agere Dean Winchester content and finding the majority of the content was Dean being a CG.

This is not targeted towards anyone - I'm just venting and questioning this. Feel Free to respond to my message with either your feelings and how this works - examples of your own characters you feel are only treated as a CG due to their status of older siblings - or whatever you want to.

This post will also be focusing more of Agere dynamics with canon characters not Fictional CG for Real people/Reader. I don't really care who you HC your personal CG is. I'm ranting about Older Siblings being forced into the CG role to their little siblings that people HC as age regressors.

I just don't understand why so many people auto make Older siblings the CG to the younger siblings even if it goes against the character's personality or history. Isn't this just prolonging and keeping characters who where likely abused at-least lightly in the toxic and abusive role they where forced into?

My four example characters off the top of my head are -

Dean Winchester - Literally was forced to be a parent to his little brother Sam at 4 years old. Having no childhood while dealing with a drunk father and knowing about monsters being real at a rather young age.

Lorelai Blyndeff - Has been criticized for not stepping up after her mother died to raise Molly despite in book being shown to having sever trauma over her mother's death and literally blames herself and is trying to hide away from the world because shes scared she'll end up hurting people she cares about.

Billy Hargrove - A self destructive abused teenager with abandonment issues. Who is punished for his step sister misbehaving, while being forced to take care of her most of the time.

Spencer Reid - Not an older sibling but Spencer Reid's Father left Spencer to take care of his schizophrenic mother at 4 years old.

These are all characters I've seen HC or written as CGs (Often times more then i see them written as Regressors) even when personality wise + trauma wise they would make alot of sense to be regressors. Dean and Lorelai are both canonically have childish behaviors, interests and likes - some even caused from their trauma. Characters like Billy and Lorelai who are actively written with a strong dislike for being forced into the role of caregiver are still given this treatment due to their status as older siblings. Dean and Spencer where both stripped of their childhoods so young that they would barley have any form of memory of being a kid due to the chooses and actions of people around them.

So here is my question to you guys. What about these characters who where from young ages forced into Caregiver roles at the cost of their own childhoods - Or just older siblings in general; Makes them feel like CG material? Cause whenever i see them i'm like... Yep you regress due to your trauma. XD

[schizosamwincester]

Okay but here me out. This is actually reason #947 that Sam is schizophrenic because rambling and going on tangents are schizophrenic traits. And my mother would constantly tell me "you're babbling" to get me to stop. Which is why I had to unlearn that and embrace speaking like the neurodivergent person I am and let myself rant like hell.

Yes I'm going to make a random wincest post about my pet headcanon. Fight me.

one of my favorite things is that when sam was yapping away, all dean had to say is

dean- "sam"

sam- "yeah?"

dean- "you're babbling"

and sam instantly shut up, he is just always so eager to please dean. even when he wants to talk and try to get words out, he instantly shut up for his brother. he always listens, always eager to please.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

The Red Spiral

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/EHuMqsj by gardensofedenx originally published on Wattpad on 4.25.24, and completed in early Aug 2024 in which Castiel slowly loses his grip on reality. (my biggest SPN story yet!!) please heed to the tags if any of that triggers you!! there will be no other warnings Words: 2067, Chapters: 2/25, Language: English Series: Part 1 of The Red Spiral series Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: Gen Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters, Original Characters Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Blood, Self-Harming Castiel (Supernatural), Razors, Suicide Attempt, Anorexic Castiel (Supernatural), Bulimia, Schizophrenic Castiel (Supernatural), No Romance, Hurt No Comfort, Whump, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Tags Are Fun, No Lucifer (Supernatural), hurt!castiel read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/EHuMqsj

[schizo-sam-winchester]

Thinking about a schizophrenic Sam who starts taking meds in college but has to go off of them when he goes back to hunting. Who has to hide his symptoms and (after failing) loses the trust of everyone around him. Who turns to demon blood and finds it so much harder to stop because at least with the blood he has some sort of control over literally anything in his life.

Thinking about a later seasons schizophrenic Sam who has the option of medication and just, chooses not to take it? Like his whole life he’s been this way. He finds comfort in knowing his own neurosis.

Maybe he gets better at hiding it, maybe he doesn’t hide it at all. Idk I just want to talk about schizophrenic Sam Winchester