#pseriouslyschizophrenic

[schizosolutions]

GOD i wish schizospecs could do literally any unmasking without risking going to a ward or worse. i feel like the only place i can actually express what my reality is like is online, and even then there's always the risk of someone trying to aggravate my symptoms.

[schizosupport]

Psychosis and schizo spec experiences are messy, and complicated, and often don't fit the societal narratives.

Many psychotic people have experiences that look like symtoms of other disorders, and strict categorization and separation between symptoms and disorders often don't take schizospec and psychotic people's experiences into account.

Schizophrenia, as an example, is commonly classified as a neurodevelopmental illness, and comes with a range of experiences of neurodivergency that do not neatly fit into any one box/neurotype, yet can be both very disabling and very profound. Similarly, most schizospec people are prone to dissociation, and there's an overlap between plural people and psychotic communities.

For this reason and others, I'm not a fan of separatism in the neurodivergent community, which too often targets psychotics, by focusing on proving that this or that group is not "crazy" like "those people".

Occasionally this takes on some insidious forms within the different communities, where "deviant experiences" of odd symtoms that don't align neatly with the narrative of the associated disorder, are dismissed as fake, problematic, harmful - occasionally as ableist in and of themselves. This narrative is actively harmful to psychotic people.

I'm not a fan of arguments that hinge on the notion that large numbers of people are lying or mistaken about their lived experience, and sincerely, as someone who has read an unreasonable amount of research throughout my studies, psychological science is interesting, and useful, but it is never exact, and it is full of biases, blind spots and bullshit science hidden behind statistics and overreaching conclusions. Pointing out bad research is not "anti science", it is in fact pro science. I am a scientist.

I consciously reject the notion that the diagnostic manuals are anything more than a semi competent attempt at making a comprehensive classification of symptoms. This doesn't mean that these constructs aren't hugely influential, or that they don't describe real symtoms, but it is important for Mad and Neurodivergent activism to move beyond this reductive understanding of mental diversity.

So while I'm happy to provide info on the definitions of various disorders etc, because it has real world applications, I am more interested in what we all have in common, and in finding solidarity across diagnostic borders.

In the end, my solidarity is with the weird kids. The quiet ones, the fucked up ones, the ones who don't feel like they belong or fit anywhere. With symtoms and experiences and diagnoses like an ill-fitting set of clothes.

I want to fight the stigma, but I don't want to fight it by assimilation. It is not our job to be "normal" or "easy to understand and categorize".

I want radical inclusiveness, and I want it now. I want the judgement of harmless odd behaviours to stop, I want the mental health communities to stop fighting each other and throwing each other under the bus in the name of being palatable.

We don't have to be palatable to be worthy. We don't have to fit into a neat little box to be taken seriously. We are all deserving of non-judgemental love and support.

Our goal should not be to be neurotypical, it should be to live happy and fulfilling lives within the circumstances we were dealt.

Us psychotic weirdos need better options than to be monsters, or to be invisible.

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

u know those whole “people with schizophrenia are actually in another plane and can see ghosts?” yeah id like to take the ghost now please. take away all the symptoms and give me a ghost please.

[jenniferleecopping]

short little comic doodle about psychosis and insomnia xxx

[pplatonic]

doctors will literally have THAT terrible of a handwriting and when a schizophrenic bitch shows up they're like "wow their writing is so bad it's like a sign of motor abnormalities and nervous system deficits or whatever"

[phoenix-positivity]

Huge shoutout to those who have been diagnosed with the same (mental) illness as their abuser(s). Who fear they might turn out to be abusive themselves because of their diagnosis. Who get triggered by the name of their diagnosis and the symptoms it brings because it is so strongly associated to their abuse. Whose abuse has made them scared and prejudiced of people with the same diagnosis and are now unsure and conflicted on how to feel about themselves. Who have a hard time researching their illness and treatment options because the association to their abuse triggers them too badly to continue reading about it. Who may end up discovering articles and videos warning people about their diagnosis and falsely claiming that they are abusive because of their diagnosis, but feeling strongly that the articles are correct because of their own experience being abused.

I see you and you are strong. Your diagnosis does not make you inherently abusive. You are nothing like them. You are your own person making your own choices. Abusing people is a choice, so as long as you do not make that choice you have nothing to fear. I hope that with time and possible therapy you are able to accept your own diagnosis as a seperate thing from your abuse. They are not inherently connected, they only share an association. Don't lose hope, I believe in you.

[schizofreaknia]

i do not believe in god. not in that he doesn't exist, but in that he doesnt love us. he is real and he hates us. he is an almighty and we are his unloved bastards.

[schizoaffectively]

Might document some of my reoccurring hallucinations and delusions in a little masterpost. It'll help me organize it, plus others can share their experiences too.

[vergess]

Hey fellow psychos of tumblr, quick question about content warnings (CWs) and math posts:

If you happen to know any other tags/blogs about psychosis that I could put this in/send this to, let me know? I'd like to get as many results as possible before I go around requesting a CW. I remember how nasty people got about Goncharov lol

[holyholyholey]

I had a psych intake last week.

Schizophrenia - yep still got it

W

Adhd - Probs got it

EH

OCD - Totally thought I didn't have it anymore - immediately prescribed meds for it

L

Seriously, apparently it's not a typical brain thing to obsess over things like I do. I am very upset about this as I no longer have (obvious) compulsions like I did as a kid.

My last psychs all missed this and she asked the screening questions and then asked more detailed questions and I was like "oh yeah I totally do that" without realizing it was going to be OCD and not schizophrenia symptoms.

[schizosolutions]

please dont "reality check" strangers. it can be helpful and grounding if its a close friend and youve discussed it beforehand, but you could seriously hurt someone trying to "snap them out of it". psychosis doesnt work like a tv show.

[schizosupport]

Psychosis and Schizo Spec Flag Time!

My dear friends of the community! For a community in which so many of us have been called a freak at some point in life, we've had a distinct lack of a coherent freak flag to fly!

Well, no more. There's a new flag in town, and she's a beauty!

The flag is preceded by a number of other flags. @psychotic-pisces collected a number of them, and proposed yet more, here, and there have been other versions and attempts through the years. There can be many flags, and no flag is more right than another, but we did feel that our community might be in need of a simple yet recognisable flag, that would still be rich with symbolism. This is our proposal!

I shall refrain from waxing poetic about the elements of the flag, but the references are as follows:

The symbol used in this flag was proposed by @actuallyschizophrenic here, and has seen fair use in the psychotic and schizo spec communities around these parts.

The colour stripes in the background match the current flag most commonly used for disability pride.

The background is purple, because 70% of all previous proposed flags were purple, suggesting a cultural connection to the colour in our community.

The symbol sits upon a waxing silver-lavender moon, referencing not only tales of lunacy, but also the dichotomous nature of our illnesses, negative/positive symptoms and more.

Finally, the moon acts as a prism on the stripes, creating a disjointed feeling, that we associate with psychosis and disorganization, among other things.

The flag doesn't have a name, I think anyone in the community can call it what feels right. Schizotypy flag, psychosis flag, lunacy flag - you name it! I call it the lunacy flag, but I have provenly bad taste, so call it what feels right!

This flag was a collaborative effort in a community discord for schizo spec folk and psychotic people. There's no way I could have arrived at this design on my lonesome, and I'm forever grateful to our loving, creative, smart and awesome communities!!

Special thanks to a very cool, kind and talented person who goes by 'Orange' in the server, who created the vector file of the finalized flag, which can be found (on Google drive via tumblr) here!

And a userbox template bc why not..

Let's go fly our freak flag! 🧠🔥🎉

(License CCO 1.0 Universal - this flag can be used anywhere, credit is nice but it's not a requirement!)

Other formats, color annotated version and image description under the cut

Long format:

Square:

Version of the flag with names of each colour for accessibility:

Image ID of flag: A rectangular flag. The background is purple, and in the middle there's a circle. The circle looks like the moon, with one side in darkness. The moon is dark grey and light silver-grey lavender. On the moon is a symbol commonly associated with psychosis and the schizo spectrum in white. A beam of stripes cross behind the moon from each corner. The stripes are light green, light blue, light grey, yellow and light red. They are similar to the stripes on the disability flag. The beam shifts position behind the moon, so it is parallel above and below the moon, but not directly connected. End ID.

[rxttenfish]

it is kind of wild to see that post of how much people will just immediately mistrust strangers and assume the worst out of anyone they won't know for me personally, because

well, im schizophrenic. i know im paranoid. i often get intense paranoid thoughts about people walking by me in a parking lot or mistrusting someone in the same public space as me, or even just automatically assuming "theyre going to kill me" if my family is driving and they take a turn they havent done before.

and i guess the difference is that i automatically label these as paranoid thoughts. i have to work to bring myself down from them, reassure myself that theyre just people as much as i am, and arent doing anything unusual that im not also doing in the same place. its just another person. me automatically leaping to them trying to hurt me isnt going to be productive, and will only make me more of a danger to them, so i need to just relax.

and its very bizarre, i guess, to see all these apsychotic people just bold-faced admit to being constantly paranoid of anyone else existing around them, and to think that this is normal and fine and good and isnt making them the dangerous one in that situation. i guess its just another example of why, if youre schizophrenic, youre constantly expected to be far better than any other apsychotic person in your life, and if you arent, then youre treated as inhuman and uniquely dangerous and deserving of violence and mistreatment.

[wheelie-sick]

I feel so embarrassed about some of the things I said and did while in psychosis. I've been coming out of an episode for a couple of months and it's so upsetting to look back and process it all because I just get so embarrassed by my delusional self.

this wasnt from my most recent episode, this was from 2021 but still

I'm just processing that I really did, in fact, tell many people in my life that I'm psychic and can talk to ghosts (I am not! I can't!) ...... and also that I was talking to the Norse gods and that they had chosen me, and also that it was my destiny to bring lost souls on Earth to the afterlife and just. now that I look back at it all it feels so obviously untrue?

I used to go around to roadkill and perform different blessings on them so that they could pass into the afterlife because I believed that was my job. all of the traffic saw me (thank god because I would not be here if they didn't) and this was when I lived in a small town so everyone knew who I was. they. all. know. and they probably remember because when you see teenager standing in the middle of the fucking road doing witchcraft on a dead squirrel you don't forget that!!

I just wish I could go back and undo it and make myself no longer psychotic because all of these memories make me want to turn invisible. I don't mind people online hearing about it but the people I know in my real life?? the people I interact with daily??? it makes me want to shrivel up like a raisin

and they all pretend that they don't know about my schizophrenia. everyone pretends that they believe the abilify is for "anxiety." that or they all have come up with some absolutely wild ways to explain it all away.

it's just so frustrating. it often feels like psychosis takes away my autonomy. I didn't get a choice in doing those embarrassing things I never stood a chance at not having embarrassing memories.

!! I have religious psychosis. your religious beliefs might be true but my beliefs were delusions. do not try to talk to me about your religion at all !!

[openedmaw]

not to Personal Problems post but anyone w/ schizophrenia or related disorder, do you experience the self doubt of "if i was actually [insert schizospec disorder] then i would have to be worse off than i am now" or the whole "i know this looks like [schizospec disorder] from the outside but i know my internal experience and it doesnt feel like [schizospec] to me"

and if you do, how do you work about getting over it?

[schizophrenicbulbasaur]

we should talk more about the overlap between schizophrenia and autism

signed, someone who has both