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joon-ipersgirl · 4 years ago

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O3 - “don’t leave me”

genre: strangers to lovers!au, angst, fluff

pairing: jimin x reader (f)

summary: they say home is where the heart is. you’re convinced yours was taken the day your father died. until you meet jimin.

you believe in love but after watching men cycle through your mother’s arms, rocky relations with ex-boyfriends, and broken friendships, you no longer see it in your future. so much so, you never settle in one place long enough to create ties and call it home, choosing a job where you’re always on the go and on your own.

on a chance encounter on a flight from new york city to bali, indonesia, you meet. flustered by jimin’s flirty advances but understanding and good-natured tendencies, you start to fall. what starts off as a work-trip soon blossoms into a budding romance, but will jimin’s secret destroy the relationship before it’s had the chance to truly begin?

word count: 10.6k.. lmao

warnings: mentions of anxiety, cursing

a/n: wow it’s been some weeks. school and work are kicking my ass but thank you to that anon who asked if i was still writing. i am. i’m doing my best to balance everything but your comment seriously motivated me to find some time to post this and it is a hell of a long part so i hope that makes up for the semi-hiatus. the next part is my fave part to date and i hope to have that up soon. seriously, all your comments mean the world to me so send them in, even if you think it’s something super small! you could be the difference between something be posted or not lol. anywhooo. thank you again for reading and vi for being my editor in chief. enjoy! :)

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It was the additional warmth that alerted you that something was wrong. The fogginess of sleep wrestled with your consciousness as your body slowly woke up, the former forcing sleep to tap out. Your legs were cramped beneath you in the seat as you’d curled into yourself, the thin blanket tucked up under your chin like a butterfly in a cocoon. All of these were quite normal, except for the soft material underneath your cheek instead of the scratchy cover of the airline seat. Lifting your head from your makeshift pillow, your eyes focused on the smooth skin of Jimin’s neck. You jerked away, smacking your head against the curve of the airplane. Jimin groaned and turned to face you, his eyes still closed but his eyebrows furrowed.

“Jimin!” you hissed, shoving his shoulder away from you. His upper body was still pressed against your knees. “Get up!”

He finally opened his eyes, confusion was written on his face as he squinted from the soft lights filtering into the plane. Jimin shifted back over to his seat and you sighed in relief, still rubbing the back of your head in an attempt to soothe the sore spot. He shoved his hood from his head and ran his fingers through the soft waves of his hair, a few tufts sticking up out of place.

“Why are you yelling?” he groaned, holding his hands in his head. “It’s early as fuck.”

“I wasn’t yelling. And you were crushing me,” you huffed, attempting to stretch your legs out.

“You weren’t complaining a few moments ago,” he countered, his usual grin looking more adorable as he struggled to fully wake up.

You pursed your lips in irritation. It didn’t seem to take Jimin long to be back on his bullshit, even if he had just woken up. He stretched beside you, toned arms coming up above his head, the hem of his hoodie rising along with them. You turned your head back to the window, not wanting to be caught staring again. So much for avoiding cuddling into his nice, warm body. If he asked, you’d just blame it on the cold air of the plane.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our final descent to Hong Kong International Airport. Please secure your tray tables and return your seats to their full upright position. We will be coming through to collect any trash you may still have. Thank you.”

You gasped as you realized you’d overslept and missed the opportunity to have your morning coffee. You rubbed your forehead, already feeling the symptoms of withdrawal hitting you. The in-flight monitor showed that it was almost 10 am in New York, meaning you were already one cup of coffee behind schedule. You could only pray that it wouldn’t take long for the next set of passengers to board and the in-flight services could begin again before your impatience truly reared its ugly head.

Shoving open the little plane window cover, you watched as the cityscape of Hong Kong came into view. The bright lights of the tall skyscrapers looked like lighthouses perched on the corner of cliffs and you awed at its modern beauty. It was almost as breathtaking as flying into New York City. You pulled your phone from your sweatpants’ pocket and took a video as the plane banked left, your brain not too bogged down to recognize a money-making shot when you saw one.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Jimin whispered over your shoulder, his voice rough from sleep. You nodded, not turning to look at him, not trusting yourself to face him in your coffee-deprived state and question exactly who or what he was referring to.

With a gentle shudder, the aircraft landed on the tarmac and headed to its destination, the passengers on the flight applauding for your safe arrival. The pilot welcomed you to Hong Kong International Airport, telling you the current local time and temperature, and thanking you for flying with Cathay Airlines. At the ding! of the seatbelt sign disappearing, a few passengers rushed to secure their carry ons, no doubt antsy to make it to their connecting flight. You sank back into your seat, silently urging them on so you could be back in the air and on your way to Indonesia.

“One flight down, only one more to go!” Jimin exclaimed and stepped into the aisle, fully stretching his lean body after double checking no one else was coming behind him. You nodded and combed your fingers through your hair, trying to tame your own bed hair.

After a few idle minutes, you realized that no one else had gotten on the plane. Confused, you propped yourself up to see the front of the plane better. Aside from a few passengers stretching their legs like Jimin, no clean-up crew had boarded to clear the empty seats and restock the plane with food. The rest of the passengers seemed to notice the lack of activity as well.

“Excuse me?” a man a few rows ahead called to a passing stewardess. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes sir. We’re just having a few maintenance issues, but everything should be sorted quickly. No need to worry,” she said with a gentle smile. Maintenance issues? That didn’t sound good.

Jimin slipped back into his seat to let the stewardess pass. “Don’t look so worried, Shutterfly. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

You nodded slowly and chewed on your lip. It was already bad that you hadn’t been able to see the changes Michael had sent, but now it seemed like your arrival in Bali would be delayed, thwarting your plans even further. Would it be wrong to assume Adele’s phone call was to blame for your entire trip taking every possible delay and detour? Maybe Michael’s words had come true and you hadn’t planned well enough, your gifts truly leaving you in your time of need.

You busied myself with folding the airplane blanket and tucking it into the back of the seat in an effort to remain calm. It would eventually all be sorted and you could contact Micahel when you finally landed, possibly even convincing him that you deserved an extension because of circumstances out of your control.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. It seems as though our aircraft is having some slight maintenance problems and we will no longer be able to fly to our final destination on this particular plane. Our crew is working diligently to rectify the issue, but we’re going to have to ask you to please leave the aircraft. If you could make your way to the information desk right outside the gate, our associates would be happy to answer any questions you may have about getting you to your final destination. Thank you,” the announcement came over the speakers. An audible groan echoed from the remaining passengers.

“Well, fuck,” Jimin commented, shoving his book and hoodie into his backpack. “What a great surprise,” he mumbled.

You didn’t move. It was as though her words hadn’t truly registered and you blinked a few more times before you honestly understood what was happening. You were going to be late to Bali, your entire itinerary thrown off, not to mention whatever else you needed to add to the video. Your accommodations there would be gone and your deposits with it. Fuck. The familiar tug of anxiety filled your chest as you watched it rise and fall, your breaths coming much easier than you expected, though you felt you’d been submerged underwater for a few minutes. Tears pricked the back of your eyelids as you tried not to cry from frustration.

“Shutterfly! Are you coming?” Jimin was already halfway up the aisle, his old backpack slung low on his shoulders as he checked for your whereabouts, holding up the small line that formed behind him.

You grabbed your backpack and shoved your feet back into your sneakers, double-checking the time on your phone. As soon as you got off the plane, you needed to call Michael and update him on the situation. Though you knew he wouldn’t be upset with you, the gnawing feeling of guilt hung around your shoulders as you shuffled down the aisle with the rest of the passengers.

Hong Kong International Airport would have stolen your breath away had you been paying proper attention. You took a sharp left after entering the actual terminal, looking for an empty seat in a quiet space where you would be able to hear Michael over the protests of irritated passengers. Dialing his number, you waited for the call to go through but it didn’t. You tried again, the same “call failed” message popping up on the screen. Checking the number of bars on your phone showed you that you didn’t have any service. You stared at your phone, baffled. It wouldn’t even connect to the wifi. What in the good Lord’s name were you supposed to do now?

You slumped against the sleek metal column until your body hit the floor in defeat, your brain too frazzled to come up with any bright ideas. Unease wrapped her familiar fingers around your shoulders again. Her gentle whispers echoed in your mind as the uncertainty of the situation before you gripped you tightly. You felt stranded with her on a desolate island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and she was your only company. You drew your knees into your chest, trying to disappear as if that would make anything better. Frustration grew into anger and tears welled up in your eyes as you pushed up from the ground, backpack secured firmly in your grip, and marched over to the nearest Cathay employee.

“Excuse me?” he turned to face you with a warm smile.

“Yes, ma’am. How may I help you?” he asked.

“Hi. I was on the flight from JFK with the final destination to Bali. They said the plane has some maintenance issues? What’s going to happen now? How soon can I get on a flight out of here?” You tried your best to keep your tone neutral as he continued smiling at you.

“First, I’d like to apologize for the inconvenience. Second, we’re not actually sure -” your eyes widened, “- but we’re doing everything we can to fix things,” he finished.

“I’m sorry, what?” you asked. “So am I just supposed to stay in the airport until you guys fix this?”

“Well, we currently have no flights leaving for Bali that have available seats on them -”

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me that I might have to stay in Hong Kong overnight?” You did nothing to try to hide the panic in your voice, forgetting that you were in a public place.

“It’s quite possible, Miss. Again, I’m very sorry -”

“Where am I supposed to sleep then? I can’t sleep here!” you wailed, cutting him off again. His eyebrows turned down in annoyance. You were probably being rude, but at this moment in time, you couldn’t give a fuck. You were in an unfamiliar country, where they spoke an unfamiliar language, under extremely unfamiliar circumstances. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

“If you could follow me, I can see if we have any complimentary hotel rooms available as this cancellation was not your fault,” he said, the cheerful customer service tone gone.

You followed him to the Cathay Airlines desk in front of the gate and wrapped your arms around yourself as he spoke with his colleague. It offered no comfort and you bounced with nervous energy as you waited for his verdict. You started to count the number of passengers you recognized from your flight when someone brushed against you and you jumped, your body hyper-aware of any small movement.

“Hey, it’s just me.” Jimin. You sighed and relaxed your shoulders slightly. “You disappeared on me. Is everything okay? You look kind of ill,” he trailed off. You scowled at him and crossed your arms tightly.

“Thank you, Jimin. That’s just what anyone wants to hear during a time like this,” you said sarcastically. He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, and mumbled a small apology. “How are you not upset about this?” you asked, gesturing to the rest of the people.

He shrugged. “Things change, life happens. Nothing we can really do about it. Just have to figure out the next step. Have you gotten any updates about a new flight leaving?” you nodded.

“He’s supposed to let me know, but it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be good news,” you replied, chewing on your lip again.

“So we could be stuck here overnight?”

“It’s quite possible,” you told him bitterly, repeating the same words said to you. Jimin hummed in thought and excused himself, promising he would be right back. It was at this moment that the employee returned, his colleague in tow.

“Well, Miss -”

“Y/L/N,” you filled in.

“Miss. Y/L/N, my name is Joy and I am a manager at Cathay Airlines. Again, I would like to apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. Unfortunately, all of our complimentary rooms have been given away at this moment in time and it seems as though our next departing flight to Bali, Indonesia with available seats will not be leaving until tomorrow afternoon. As of right now, I can only offer you a discount on your next flight with us and a free upgrade to business class,” she finished, her smile almost as sorry as the deal she was offering you.

You inhaled deeply and tried to swallow the bitterness threatening to spill from your lips. The combination of anxiety, anger, and coffee withdrawal had left you with nothing kind to say and Adele had been around enough to teach you good manners.

“Well Jennie, that fucking sucks. Are there any places you could recommend that have available spaces? Or a partner airline that could - I don’t know - actually have working planes and could get me to my final destination?” you asked, some of the bitterness slipping in there somehow. Jennie’s smile tightened just as Jimin returned.

“Sorry, she’s not really a morning person,” he said apologizing and tucking you tightly under his arm. “You said there were no flights available until tomorrow afternoon, correct?”

“Yes, sir. We’re doing our best to get everyone on their way as soon as we can,” she answered, her smile brightening at his presence.

“I’m sure you are -” he leaned down slightly to read her name tag, “- Joy. If you could be so kind as to make sure that we’re sitting together whenever you sort those arrangements out, I would seriously appreciate it.” You opened your mouth to protest but Joy was already agreeing.

“Of course Mr. -“

“Park,”

“Park?” She stared at him puzzled before her eyes lit up. “That’s Korean, isn’t it? Do you speak Korean?” she asked excitedly. “I’ve been trying to practice.” You stared at her incredulously, but Jimin entertained the conversation to your dismay.

“As a matter of fact, I do. How long have you -“

“Jimin,” you butted in, twisting in his grip. “Joy is a busy woman. In fact, she was about to go and get some information about places to stay since there are no flights leaving today. I’m sure you could have this conversation -“

“Oh, no need to worry about that, Shutterfly. I’ve already got that taken care of, but you’re right. Joy is a busy woman so we should let her get back to work,” Jimin said, beaming down at you, his smile easing some of your pent up frustration.

“David,” Joy turned to the man who had originally tried to help me, “please add Miss. Y/L/N under Mr. Park’s reservation for tomorrow’s flight.”

“I’ll need your first name, Miss. Y/L/N,” David told you. “For security purposes,” he added after you continued to stare at him without giving an answer.

“Can’t you just look it up under the old reservation?”

“Oh come on, Shutterfly. Don’t be difficult. Don’t you want to go grab some breakfast?” Jimin cooed while squeezing your shoulder. You’re sure you looked like any angry bull as your nostrils flared. Of course, the Universe would be on Jimin’s side to have it so that you couldn’t not give him your name if you wanted to secure a seat that Joy seemed so determined to give Jimin. Getting to Bali as soon as possible trumped holding out on Jimin. Unfortunately.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N,” you grumbled, arms still crossed, and pouted at your game ending. Jimin’s smile widened and David nodded, heading back to the desk to input the information.

“Thank you so much, Joy. For everything,” Jimin emphasized and squeezed your shoulder again. “Good luck with your Korean!” he added and started to steer you away.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Park! Please enjoy your time in Hong Kong!” she called after you. Jimin pulled you away from the crowd and you struggled to keep up as one of his steps was almost two of yours.

“Jimin, slow down!” you yelled and finally tugged his arm from around you. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“To get breakfast. What do you mean? Aren’t you hungry?” he asked, confused as he stared down at you.

“Jimin, what about the rest of our luggage? Well, I don't know if you did, but I have a checked bag. I can’t just leave -”

“Y/N,” the way your name sounds coming from his mouth had you pausing, your own mouth open mid-sentence, “your luggage is fine. They hold it until you can get on the next flight. You still have the original tag they gave you, right?” You nodded. “Then you’re all set. Come on! You’ll think and feel better once you have some food in you. And some coffee.”

At the mention of your favorite beverage, you let Jimin lace his fingers through your own and lead you further through the international arrivals terminal in search of somewhere to eat. You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair again, dodging the occasional traveler in this unfamiliar airport, in an unfamiliar city, with a slightly less unfamiliar man for company.

Though Jimin was optimistic about finding breakfast at 2:30 am, you were not. After walking through the terminal for 25 minutes and trying to convince Jimin that no sane business would be open right now - to which he responded that there had to be at least one - he had finally given up after passing the same vending machine for the second time.

“Okay, maybe you were right,” he mumbled and set his bag on the floor as he plopped down into an empty seat at a vacated gate and you hummed in agreement. He pushed his hand through his hair and let his head fall over the edge of the seat. You checked your phone again to see if you had any service, and was disappointed to see that there still wasn’t. You sighed quietly and sat next to Jimin.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why do you think something’s wrong?”

“You’re chewing your lip again,” he pointed out. Your cheeks warmed as you realized he was right and you released your lower lip. You were surprised he had noticed your unconscious behavior and you resisted the urge to do it again, instead settling on playing with the sleeves of your hoodie.

“I just - I have a really big project to complete in Bali and with this delay, I’m not sure if I can get it all done. I’ve been trying to get in touch with my manager, but my stupid fucking phone doesn’t have any stupid service right now so I -”

“Do you want to use mine?” he asked, cutting you off and offering you his phone. You stared at him. “Seriously, no worries. I have an international plan that automatically connects when I travel. Here,” he said while unlocking his phone and shoving it into your hands. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

He didn’t wait for you to say yes before he was already halfway down the hallway. You tapped the screen of his phone before it locked again and dialed Michael’s number, grateful for the privacy. Bouncing your leg, you prayed he would answer the unknown number.

“Michael Callahan. Who is this?”

“Oh, Michael!” You sobbed out in relief after finally hearing his voice.

“Y/N? Is everything okay? What happened to your phone?” he asked, the concern quite evident in his voice. “Were you robbed?! Oh my gosh, Y/N -”

“No, Michael!” you assured him. “For some reason, my phone plan isn’t working. I’m using someone else’s right now.”

“Oh, that blasted Phillip. I told him to make sure your phone plan was taken care of as I had to step into a meeting - you know I would have done it myself - and I guess he forgot. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’ll get Elise on it right now. Elise!” he screamed away from the phone for his secretary. “You’re in Bali now, right?” he confirmed.

“Um, no. Not yet.”

“What do you mean not yet?”

“Well, the plane had some maintenance issues and they couldn’t fly us out tonight. I’m in Hong Kong instead. We’re supposed to fly out tomorrow,” you explained.

“By yourself?! Where are you going to sleep? Oh honey no! Let me see what -”

“I’m not technically by myself,” you mumbled, just as Jimin was making his way towards you.

“What do you mean by ‘technically’, Y/N?” Michael asked.

“Just another passenger. It’s his phone I’m using. He seems nice,” you trailed off as Jimin sat down next to you, not wanting to talk about him while he was sitting within earshot. He flashed you a thumbs up and you returned it awkwardly, trying to calm down Michael’s growing apprehension.

“Y/N, you can’t just walk around Hong Kong with a stranger! And a man that you barely know?! Honey, how are you going to survive?” you rolled your eyes as the dramatics started to roll in. “You don’t even know Cantonese. If we’re quite honest, you can barely speak Korean. I knew Adele should have -”

“Weren’t you the one who told me to live in the moment? I’ll be okay Michael, just please get my phone on as soon as possible and add an additional travel notice on the card for Hong Kong so I can get something to eat. I’ll text you every hour on the hour with updates. This is Jimin’s number. Save it if you need to call me and my phone isn’t working. Thank you, Michael. You’re the best! I love you!” you hung up before he could protest.

“Is everything alright?” Jimin asked warily.

“Yep!” you chirped. “Absolutely!” Jimin’s eyes widened at your quick change in demeanor. “What do we do now?” Though it was almost 3:30 am and your stomach had started to grumble; your body was still on Eastern Standard Time.

“Well, I have a friend who lives here. He owns a hostel maybe 35 minutes away? I know we need some place to stay and I called him, explained what happened, and he’s more than willing to put us up for the night. I’m not sure if you’re down, but I knew it would be a lot cheaper than whatever hotel Joy was going to offer,” he replied.

You hesitated. Jimin was very much so a stranger. You had only had, at most, three full conversations. You only knew his first and last name, no idea what his actual occupation was and didn’t even know where he was from. He could quite honestly be some maniac looking to lure a pure, innocent girl to her doom. That girl being you. You bit your lip. Then again, you were already here alone, and if you didn’t go with Jimin, you would be alone in the very large, very empty Hong Kong International Airport. Deciding to take Michael’s words to heart, you decided to enjoy the moment and sent up a silent prayer that God had not decided your life would end at the hands of a certain toned-thighed man in the middle of the night.

“No, that sounds great. Thank you for including me,” you told him. He nodded and smiled.

“Of course. I’ll tell him to come get us.”

45 minutes later, you and Jimin were seated in the back of William Xiao’s trusty pickup truck along with his trusty sidekick Rosaline, a golden retriever. You had pictured William to be a younger man around Jimin’s age, but he was actually older - around mid-fifties - with greying hair. He navigated the streets of the city of Victoria easily in the early morning, the traffic was light as most people were still asleep. It was your favorite time and you felt relaxed against the leather seats as the wind lifted your hair, a small smile on your face. The tall skyscrapers glided past as you zoomed down the highway.

“So how long are you staying in Hong Kong this time, Chim?” William asked as he took the next exit.

“Ah, not long actually. We leave tomorrow hopefully,” Jimin responded, glancing over at you.

“And you’re going where again?”

“Bali. In Indonesia,” he repeated. William seemed to be a little forgetful and you chuckled at the thought.

“Right, right. And how long are you two staying there for?” he asked again.

“I’m not sure about Y/N,” his leg bumped against yours as William turned left, “but I’ll be there for maybe 2 weeks? I haven’t decided yet,” Jimin replied.

“Um, I’m there for 10 days. Well, I guess 9 now,” you corrected. You tried not to think about the impromptu changes. William nodded and continued driving through the empty streets, the car silent until Rosaline started barking.

“Oh be quiet old girl. I know we are almost home,” he hushed her and patted her head, her tail wagging excitedly in the seat.

William slowed and pulled his truck over to the side of the street. You stared out the window confused as you could only see small eateries. The street was actually filled with them, with everything from noodles to dumplings and rice bowls. Your mouth watered at the sight, though they all seemed to be closed and you frowned.

“Where’s the hostel?” you asked Jimin, turning to face him as William hopped out of his truck.

“You’re looking at it,” Jimin said and pointed to a narrow doorway right in front of where the truck was parked. Your brows deepened further in confusion. He laughed. “Don’t worry, you’ll see.”

He exited the truck and you accepted his hand as you hopped down and shut the door, the distance much greater for you than Jimin. Rosaline greeted you on the sidewalk and you and Jimin showered her with love as she ran between you, clearly happy about the attention.

“Alright, Rosie. Calm down. You are going to wake the customers up,” William chided as he walked up the three steps of the narrow doorway and entered a passcode before ushering the three of you inside. He used a set of keys to open the second door and you entered the small lobby.

William’s hostel was airy and light, the pale grey walls with turquoise accents complementing each other well. A tiny front desk sat next to a glass door that read “Office” and a few turquoise chairs were positioned on the opposite side of the room. Different abstract paintings lined the wall above them, adding a touch of personality to the otherwise simple room. You were taken aback by how much space actually seemed to be available for use.

“This is lovely,” you complimented, walking over to get a better look. “I really like the artwork.” William beamed at you.

“Why thank you! They were a gift from Jimin,” he added. Jimin received the praise awkwardly and focused his attention on scratching Rosaline’s tummy.

Suddenly, the office door burst open and a petite woman stomped out while loudly whispering in what you assumed to be Cantonese. The two had a heated exchange while she angrily waved about a set of chopsticks and you worried she might poke poor William’s eyes out. It was only after William gestured behind him towards you that she peeked around William and spotted Jimin. Her face immediately brightened and she nearly ran to him, throwing her arms around his waist and giving him a tight squeeze. Jimin laughed as the two of them exchanged words and you stared at him in wonder at his knowledge of the native language. It was then that she finally noticed you.

“Uh, hi,” you said shyly, your face heating up slightly. You waved at her. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” She looked at Jimin expectantly. He translated and she nodded and waved back at you. You smiled.

“Y/N, this is Sonia, William’s wife. They run the hostel together,” Jimin explained.

“My wife only knows a little English. I am sorry,” William started to apologize.

“Oh no! Please don’t apologize. I’m sure we can communicate somehow,” you waved him off. Sonia said something to Jimin again and turned to you.

“Hungry?” she asked and made the motion to eat. You nodded furiously and she grinned. She beckoned you to follow her and took your hand, leading you to the office. Your eyes widened as you passed Jimin and he gave you an encouraging smile. He mouthed that he would be right there.

The office space was compact but functional. There was a little table and cushions as seats, a small refrigerator in the corner, and a few file cabinets tucked against the wall. Sonia gestured to the table for you to sit as she passed through another door, bringing three sets of chopsticks and bowls with her. You made to stand and help her, but she shooed you away so you sat quietly as she set the table. Jimin entered and you smiled at him, reassured at his presence.

“You didn’t tell me you could speak Cantonese!” you declared.

“You never asked,” he replied with a shrug as he sat across from you. “William’s gone to find us a room. I’m not sure if he has one with double occupancy, but he said he would check and see. I hope that’s okay.” You nodded as Sonia returned and placed a steaming plate of noodles in front of you.

“You eat, yes?” she asked. You nodded again and Sonia smiled as she served you and Jimin a large helping. You thanked her, grateful, and tucked in. Moaning in delight, you almost missed the way Jimin’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

“What?!” you giggled. “It’s really, really good.” Jimin only chuckled as he filled his mouth with food. Sonia set some drinks down in front of you before she sat down herself.

“How long have you and William been working at the hostel?” you asked after your stomach no longer felt like it was touching your spine.

“20 years,” Jimin translated around a mouth full of noodles.

“Wow! And you’ve been married that long too?”

“They’ve been married for 35 actually. Sonia used to work as a chef before she started helping William out,” Jimin answered.

You silently awed at her resilience and courage. Sonia was probably married at your age and starting a family while you were here wallowing in self-pity over a man who had proved to you time and time again that he didn’t want you. You shook the thoughts from your head so as to not ruin the end of a great night and instead focused on the flavor of Sonia’s cooking, the spiciness of the sauce welcomed.

The three of you made small talk as Jimin translated for Sonia and yourself. She was a remarkable woman who was headstrong and did as she pleased, much to the dismay of her husband. Her beauty did not leave her as she showed you some pictures from when she and William first got together; her face remained the same except for a few deep smile lines and the occasional silver streak through her shoulder-length hair. The two of them balanced each other out and you could only admire their love story as Jimin helped her with the dishes in the other room and Rosaline came to rest her head on your thighs.

“Well, it seems like I only have one room available for the two of you. I hope that is okay, Y/N,” William said as he poked his head around the door. He sniffed. “Was that black bean noodles?” You nodded and giggled as he called for Sonia, heading through the other open door. Jimin emerged with a key in his hand, snickering.

“William is quite upset Sonia didn’t save him some black bean noodles, though I’m sure I saw her set some aside for him in the fridge,” he laughed. “I told them I’d tell you goodnight. He told you about the room?”

“Yeah,” you replied, still petting Rosaline’s head and lost in your thoughts.

“Alright, I guess we can go then. It’s almost 5:45 am and we should definitely get some sleep to be on Hong Kong time.”

“What was it that you said? ‘Reset the Circadian rhythm before Bali’ was it?” you asked, mocking him. He rolled his eyes and grabbed your backpack.

“You’ll thank me one day, Shutterfly,” he warned as he held the office door open for you. “This way.”

You followed Jimin past the tiny desk and into the main common area with a little lounge and kitchen area set up for breakfast; you beamed when you saw the pots of coffee all cleaned and ready to go. Your body buzzed in anticipation and you couldn’t wait to smell the dark roast in the morning. You continued through to a set of stairs and climbed up to the fourth floor, your legs protesting another step as you realized how truly out of shape you were.

Room 408 was basically nonexistent. You had heard about the tiny rooms in Asia, but actually seeing one was astonishing. A thin wardrobe stood facing the bathroom door which was equally as boxy, but you were grateful that you didn’t have to share as you had heard other hostels do. The walls were painted the same grey color as downstairs but lacked the artwork. The full-sized bed took up the majority of the space in the room, a small nightstand table on its right side. You bit my lip as you thought about having to share the bed with Jimin, knowing how cramped we already were on the plane.

“Isn’t this cute?” Jimin murmured as he set your bags at the foot of the bed after shutting the door and held up the two small plush bears sitting on top of the towels. You laughed uncomfortably as you took the toy from him and set it on the dresser.

“Do you have a side of the bed you prefer?” you asked quietly, standing in the middle of the room, tugging on the sleeves of your hoodie.

“Nope,” Jimin replied, popping the ‘p’. “Lady’s choice.” He gestured to the bed and you blushed.

“Cool, well do you mind if I take a shower first?” He shook his head as he pulled out his book and phone charger. “Cool, cool. I’ll be fast,” you told him and shut yourself in the bathroom quickly with your backpack and one of the towels.

You exhaled and massaged your scalp as you tried to channel tranquility. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was only sleeping in a bed with a man. Something you’d done numerous times, both platonically and romantically throughout your life. This would be nothing different. Except it was Jimin. A man that knew how to adjust AF fine-tune on pricey cameras, read books for fun, and also spoke multiple languages. You groaned and turned on the hot water. You thought you had shut all thoughts of Jimin away in that tiny airplane stall, but you guess you’d missed a few stragglers.

The water pressure was weak when you stepped in but you were appreciative that the water was still hot at this time in the morning. You took a quick shower, wanting to save some of it for Jimin. It was steamy when you stepped out and you wiped the oval mirror clear with your hands. Your hair was slightly damp and your skin was flushed from the steam. You tugged on the sleep shirt you’d packed in your bag yesterday morning as well as a clean pair of panties that you always carried in your carry on in times of emergencies, glad you’d remembered to do so for this trip. Jimin turned his head towards you as you cracked the door open to peer around it, shielding your lower body from his gaze.

“All done?” he asked. You nodded. “I think Michael texted you? Oh, and the password for the wifi is written here, just in case you need it,” he said, holding up a piece of paper from the nightstand. You nodded again.

“Don’t look,” You told him quite seriously, pointing a warning finger towards him.

“Are you going to poke me with your finger if I don’t?” he teased, turning your words back on you and you were glad that your skin was already flushed so he couldn’t tell you were embarrassed again. “I’ll step out so you can sort out what you need. Shout when you’re done.” He padded out into the hallway and slowly closed the door behind him. You sighed in gratitude and slipped out of the bathroom, double-checking your cameras were still okay before plugging your phone charger into an outlet and diving under the covers.

“You can come in!” you yelled. Jimin double-checked that the coast was clear before he locked the door behind him and rummaged through his things. As he entered the bathroom, you set up the wifi on your phone and thumbed a quick message to Michael telling him you were safe and well-fed. His message came immediately after.

Michael: Thank God! I was so worried. What is this Jimin’s last name? You know we can never be too careful. [6:01].

Park. He seems alright. I took a shower and he didn’t try to kill me so I guess that’s a good sign. [6:02]

Michael: Y/N, this is no time to make jokes about your life; I’ve already asked for his social security number to give to police if anything seems suspicious. Please send me the address of where you are, just in case. Also, Elise said that your phone should be working now. What time are you supposed to leave Hong Kong? [6:04].

Michael you can’t just ask people that! Tell her I said thank you. And I will. I’ll get it from William in the morning. They’re supposed to put us on a flight tomorrow afternoon. I’ll update you as I find out more. It’s six in the morning here and I need to reset my Circadian rhythm apparently [6:06].

I’ll call you in the morning and we can talk about the video after I look at the suggestions [6:07].

Michael: If you’re alive by then… [6:07].

Michael: And who is this William?! Why are there so many men where you are and why was I not invited?! [6:08].

Michael! And William is the guy who owns the hostel. He’s like 55 and MARRIED. [6:08].

Michael: As if that’s ever stopped me ;) [6:09].

Michael: Kidding! Sort of. Please call me if you need anything. I don’t care what time it is. Be safe. Love you Y/N [6:09].

Even though you’re probably going to Hell, love you Michael [6:10].

You locked your phone just as Jimin exited the bathroom, steam wafting from behind him. Black basketball shorts hung low on his hips, the waistband of his Calvin Kleins peeking through as he finished towel drying his hair. His thin grey shirt clung to his chest from it not being completely dry and you sank further into the sheets. You covered your face and took a deep breath. It was just one night together in the same bed. It would all be fine.

“Did you get to talk to Michael?” he asked while sitting on the edge of the bed. You nodded. “Good. I didn’t want him to think I had kidnapped you and held you hostage before I murdered you.” You snorted as you sat up.

“He didn’t actually say that,” you laughed. “Right?” You stopped when Jimin didn’t correct you. “Oh my gosh, Jimin! I’m so sorry. Michael is almost as dramatic as he is protective and I’m sure he didn’t mean to -”

“Jimin?” Of course, he would focus on only one part of what you said.

“That’s your name isn’t it? What people call you?” you asked, fidgeting with the end of the sheet, now wondering if you’d missed something.

“Yes, but I like the way you say it more,” he said with a grin, his wavy hair falling into his eyes. You groaned and threw the other small plush bear at him. He caught it easily.

“Are you always like this?” you interrogated.

“Like what? Devilishly handsome?” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows at you and you laughed again.

“No, extremely insufferable,” you replied. He laughed and the sound bounced off the walls, wrapping you up in its tone. He covered his mouth to try and stifle the sound. His grin cracked through him biting his lip, and you bit your own in response.

“For someone who finds me so insufferable, you sure do mirror my actions a lot,” he said with a chuckle. You released your lower lip and blushed.

“You are so cocky, Park Jimin!”

“I mean, once you Jim-in, you can’t Jim-out!” He shot you the finger guns before he realized what he had actually said. “I mean, not that I’m trying to fuck you -” your eyes widened “- I mean, if you’re down for that then I am too. 100%. Like seriously, fuck. I just meant that it wasn’t my intention to -” you hollered into the pillow as the words tumbled from his mouth. His smile was shy as he stood from the bed and set the bear on the nightstand with its partner. “We should go to sleep,” he mumbled and switched off the light. He cursed as he stubbed his toe on the corner of the wrought iron bed frame and you could only continue giggling at his misfortune.

“I’m glad my pain amuses you,” he said into the dark, his voice much closer than you expected. “Did you set an alarm?” You shook your head and he set one on his phone as he plugged both of your phones up to charge. He scooted back down and wiggled around like a dog circling their bed until he was comfortable, his back now facing you. “Goodnight Y/N,” he whispered over his shoulder.

“Goodnight Jimin,” you breathed.

You laid still on your back, your arms crossed over your stomach as you listened to Jimin’s breathing slow. The space between you was microscopic and you were acutely aware of the heat radiating from his body as the air conditioning blasted from the unit in the window. You turned over onto your side gingerly, facing the wall. It had been a while since you were in bed with a man and Jimin’s flustered words echoed in your brain as you pressed my thighs together. Speculating that he was interested in you was one thing, but having him admit it - even if it was only sexually - was conflicting. You scrunched your eyes shut tight as you locked away any inappropriate thoughts of what it would be like to not “Jim-out”.

You sighed in content as you pressed your body closer to his chest. One of his strong arms wrapped around your torso, the other tucked under your head, and his breath tickled the back of your neck as he quietly snored behind you. Your fingers traced along the curve of his palm while your brain slowly came to. Your legs were tangled under the sheet, intertwined with one another as you ran your foot up the back of his calf, surprised by the lack of hair you felt; Tiago’s legs were never this smooth.

Squinting in the lazy haze of the sunlight that peeked from underneath the curtain above you, you turned over. Instead of seeing tight blond curls lying against the pillow, you were met with the faint traces of black bean noodles and soft black waves. Opening your eyes properly, your eyes focused on Jimin’s parted lips. You jolted as you realized his soft embrace had caused you to remember your moments with Tiago. You stiffened when Jimin’s hand tightened around your waist and he pressed his hand against the small of your back, your t-shirt having ridden up in the middle of the night. It was then that you realized his own t-shirt had been discarded and your arms were trapped against his chest, his gold chain pooled around his neck.

Shit. You didn’t want to wake him, but you needed to get out of his hold, the triggering memories of Tiago too much to handle in this state. You tried to gently press against his chest with your arms, but Jimin only shuffled closer. You watched his eyebrows furrow in discomfort as your legs bumped one another’s before he ran his hand over the curve of your ass, along the back of your thigh, and hooked your leg over his hip. Your hips were perfectly aligned. You held your breath as Jimin exhaled, his face neutral, at peace and he rested his head on top of yours.

You pushed against his chest again and he groaned softly in his sleep as he rolled onto his back, not forgetting to bring your leg with him. Your head was against his bare chest and you heard the soft thump! of his heart. You closed your eyes and listened to it, lost in its steady beat for a moment before you remembered that you were trying to get out of his grasp and not succumb to it.

Pressing up onto your elbow, you double-checked he was still sleeping before you shifted to hover over him. Your knees were over his hips taking all of your weight as you tried your best not to press into the pillow with your hands, but not letting your ass brush against his lower abdomen. His abdominal muscles were almost as tight as the ones in his thighs and just as defined. You remembered his comment suggesting you should have asked to sit in his lap and you bit back a smile at your current predicament. Jimin shifted beneath you again and you froze, your smile dropping. He settled again and you exhaled; your heart couldn’t handle the back and forth.

The vibration of your phone startled you and you stumbled out of the bed to silence the call, nearly dragging the rest of the sheets off Jimin.

“Hello?” you answered in a whisper. You adjusted the sheets around his sleeping frame as he rolled over onto this stomach, his arm stretching out into your vacated spot.

“Y/N, why haven’t you called me back?” Adele’s voice rang out over the line. Had you seen it was her, you would have ignored the call. You slipped into the bathroom after grabbing your toothbrush and prayed the door would muffle some of the conversation.

“I’ve been on a plane, Adele. I haven't exactly had service to call anyone,” you stated, matter-of-factly.

“Well, where are you now? And why are you speaking so quietly?” she questioned.

“A hostel in Hong Kong. I don’t want to -”

“Hostel?!” she shrieked. “Oh Y/N darling, I know I raised you better than to wallow in low-class establishments like hostels,” she continued. You could picture the look of disgust on her face. You did not have enough energy to deal with her in your coffee-withdrawn state. Your temper was short.

“It’s actually very clean. We all can’t afford to live in unnecessary luxury like you, Adele,” you said while brushing your teeth. You spat at the thought of her in her high-end clothes and brownstone home paid for by different men.

“Your brother didn’t seem to mind the high-end luxury when he was here,” she replied smugly. you paused.

“When he was where?” you asked.

“Home. With me.” Her shit-eating tone was quite evident. “But you wouldn’t have known that.”

“Milo came home?” you asked again in disbelief.

Your relationship with your younger brother wasn’t as strained as your mother’s, but you weren’t on the best of terms either. You hadn’t seen him in five years. You still remembered how peaceful he looked as he slept when you kissed him goodbye. His calls and messages eventually stopped after a few months of you not answering.

“Of course he came home,” Adele snapped. “Miles enjoys spending time with his mother.”

You ignored her dig towards me. “How long is he staying?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure. Maybe you should have told me you were in New York and not run off on the next available flight -”

“You know, at this point, I’m not convinced Milo even came by. You’re just gaslighting me to come home after all these years and it’s not going to happen, Adele. Stop wasting your time and stop calling my phone outside of emergencies,” your voice slightly raised as you rinsed your toothbrush off in the sink.

“You’ve become so bitter, Y/N. I never forced you to leave; you left on your own accord -”

“You didn’t want me!” you yelled into the phone.

“If that’s what you want to believe, then fine,” she said indifferently. “I’ll prove to you I wasn’t lying about Milo,” she sneered. She never liked the nickname you gave her son. Her prized possession.

“Don’t call him that,” you growled, the emotion welling up in your chest.

“I’ll call him whatever I want. You’re lucky I was in a good mood when I gave him your number and I hadn’t spoken to you before -”

“Goodbye, Adele.” You hung up the phone and braced yourself against the sink.

Your body shook as you tried to process what exactly had occurred. Milo was back in New York. Your precious baby brother was back home. Unless Adele was manipulating you again, Milo could be reaching back out after you had fucked your relationship up. She had given him your number. A sob wracked your shoulders and you covered your mouth to stifle the sound. Silent tears ran down your cheeks and you wiped them away furiously, upset that you were wasting tears on a situation so old.

“Shutterfly?” you gasped as you turned to face the door, a sleepy Jimin poking his head around it. “Hey, are you okay? You weren’t in bed - Wait, are you crying?” He pushed the door open further and stepped inside.

“No,” you lied and turned back to the sink, splashing your face with cold water. You pleaded with the Lord that he wouldn’t be able to see your shoulders shake as you tried to control your breathing. You shut off the water as Jimin turned you to face him.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He held your face in his hands, searching it for the answer to his question. You felt small under his gaze and extremely conscious of the little amount of clothes you were both wearing. You shook your head, trying to tell him it was nothing, that you were fine. “Okay, we don’t have to talk about it. Can I give you a hug instead?”

“No,” you whispered. “I’d prefer if you didn’t right now.” He stroked his thumbs against your cheeks once more before he let go and stepped back. You didn’t miss the flicker of disappointment that flashed against his face as he nodded. You inhaled and exhaled deeply, finally feeling like you were back in control. “I would prefer if you brushed your teeth though. Your breath smells like noodles,” tiy said as you squeezed past him.

Jimin’s 10:30 am alarm went off as you were heading downstairs for breakfast, his teeth brushed and both of you dressed. You practically sprinted to the coffee machine and chose the biggest cup possible. There were a few other guests milling around the lounge area as breakfast was officially over, but Sonia had prepared something extra for you and Jimin knowing we were still extremely jetlagged, the 12 hour time difference taking a toll on your bodies.

Jimin was dressed casually again. A pair of olive green slim cargo shorts, an oversized black t-shirt, and the same black, white, and grey Jordans on his feet. His hair fell into his face as he helped himself to the instant noodles and fried egg Sonia served him, the two of them looking like mother and son as they chatted. It seemed as though Jimin also followed the same “pack additional clothes in your carry on” rule.

You sighed as you took your first sip of coffee, hugging the cup protectively between both hands. Closing your eyes in bliss, you let the hot drink soothe your nerves from last night and this morning, your conversation with Adele almost a distant memory. The energy flowed through you as you opened your laptop to read Julia’s updates, finally feeling prepared to handle whatever was thrown at you.

Hello Y/N!

Julia here. Thank you again for taking on our project. Michael was right to recommend you; your portfolio is absolutely stunning. As you know, we’re looking to promote our getaway package in Bali. Though we do want high-quality content, the company was wondering if you would be able to deliver a more “amateur” romantic feel. We’re marketing towards couples and would love to see some shots that represent that. You don’t have to be in any of the shots yourself, but it would be great if you could! I understand this is quite short notice, but I have complete faith in your ability to deliver.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions!

Best,

Julia.

She had attached a few photographs of smiling couples on the beach and at dinner for reference. You groaned and rubbed your temples. You didn’t think there was enough coffee in the world that would be able to address these minor inconveniences. Intimacy was not your thing. Romance was not your thing. Love was not your thing, and yet here Julia was telling you to make those things a thing. A reality. You gulped down another mouthful of coffee, burning your tongue in the process.

“Food?” Sonia asked, pushing a plate across the wooden bench table in front of you. You smiled in thanks and began eating though not really tasting the food. Jimin’s eyes watched you carefully and you sighed, already knowing he was going to ask you if you were okay.

“Just work stuff, Jimin, nothing to worry about,” you said.

“You make it hard to not worry about you though,” he murmured, avoiding your eyes. “Sonia said you shouldn’t be working while you’re here, that you need to enjoy the city before you go,” he added.

“Tell her I have a really big project to complete and I appreciate her concern, but I can’t just ignore work,” you replied, pushing your fried egg around your bowl. Jimin translated again and Sonia shook her head before walking away. You hoped you hadn’t offended her.

“Is this for your Saipan video?” he asked. You shook your head.

“I got contracted by a travel company to create a “vlog” type advertisement for a getaway package they’re selling to Bali. Julia, the contact, sent over some new additions while we were on the flight and I’m not sure how I’m going to get it done, but they expect me to deliver, especially since Michael recommended me,” you finished.

“What exactly do you have to do?”

“Basically be in love and capture it on film.” Your mouth turned down in disgust at the thought. Jimin laughed at you. You turned your laptop to face him so he could read the email to show him you weren't joking.

“That doesn’t seem so hard,” he commented after he was done.

“For you.”

“Oh come on, Y/N. Love is a beautiful thing. It’s everywhere if you think about it. I mean, look at Sonia and William. Don’t you remember the first time you fell in love? The pleasure it brought you, the happiness. You can’t tell me you don’t want to experience love like that again,” he said seriously.

You faked thinking about it. “Nope. I think I’m good.” You stood and poured yourself a second cup of coffee, wishing you could pour all the memories of Tiago down the drain. Especially after this morning. You tugged on your ears, the blood rushing to them as usual.

“That’s what you think, but I’m sure I can change your mind,” he said with his shit-eating grin. You rolled your eyes. “I’m serious, Shutterfly. All you need is my true love and affection -” Jimin was interrupted by Sonia dragging William over to you, an envelope in her hands. She shoved it in his and waited for him to start speaking.

“Uh,” William scratched the back of his head, “Sonia wanted me to give these to you.” He handed the envelope to you. Sonia smacked his shoulder and gestured for him to continue before she turned her expectant gaze on you. “She said you should not worry about work and you should go and enjoy Hong Kong so she is gifting you with tickets to the Hong Kong Museum of Fine Art. It is a ten-minute walk and Jimin can show you his -”

“- favorite exhibits. Right. Thank you, William and Sonia,” Jimin interjected.

“You’ll go, right?” Sonia asked eagerly. You opened your mouth to protest but didn’t have the heart to say no to her in her bunny apron. Not when she had worked so hard to make sure you were comfortable and well-fed. But also because you didn’t want her to attack you with her wooden chopsticks. You nodded and she clapped in excitement before she started going off a mile a minute at William who cowered slightly away from her. Jimin chuckled at their interaction.

“Isn’t love amazing, Y/N?” he said wistfully as he cleared the table. You rolled your eyes and texted Michael that you’d seen the email, Julia was out of her mind, but you would do your best to complete the task so you wouldn’t disappoint along with the address of the hostel.

After returning your laptop to your shared room, you and Jimin set off for the museum in the sweltering sun. You were overjoyed that you’d chosen to wear your dark t-shirt from yesterday, though you were still conscious of your sweat stains being visible. Jimin looked elated as you walked through the busy streets and you struggled to keep up, your own Jordans way out of time with his own.

“So you have favorite exhibits here?” you asked slightly out of breath. He slowed as if he just realized how far behind you were.

“Yeah, I was here a few months ago and stopped by. They have some pretty cool stuff here.”

You continued walking and you gasped as the museum came into view. Perched on the edge of the water, the building stretched along the harbor. Its walls were textured and stone grey. Clear blue windows peeked through the exterior and there was a steady stream of people loitering outside. You wished you’d brought your camera as you snapped a few photos of the impressive architecture on your phone.

Inside was just as magnificent with its low lights and marble flooring. The cool air conditioning was an additional plus as you and Jimin stood in the lobby. A large sign displayed all of the pertinent information about the exhibits available for view. You’d always been a sucker for museums and you felt lighter just being there.

“Aren’t you happy you came?”

“Very,” you whispered, looking around in awe. “Hey look!” You pointed to the exhibit directory, “Garland Sans has an exhibit showing.”

“Hmm?”

“Garland Sans. Michael said he’s having an exhibit in New York in a few weeks and wants to go. It’d be cool to see some of his work before then. I’m not too familiar with his stuff,” you explained. Jimin nodded.

“Yeah, sure. We can start with some selected works from the Chih Lo Lou Collection and work our way through?” he suggested. You nodded and followed him to the second floor, excitement thrumming in your veins.

You’d spent the better part of three hours roaming all of the floors in the museum with Jimin and spending most of your time at the Xubaizhai exhibit, the afternoon rolling in with ease. You were lost in the stories of the Ming and Qing dynasties, amazed at how detailed the small villages were depicted using ink and color. It was like reading the stories of their lives. It also didn’t hurt that Jimin was there to translate the calligraphy on some of the scrolls. He seemed to enjoy the Garland Sans exhibit less and you debated the motives behind each painting endlessly. Unsurprisingly, he was well-versed in the arts, more so than you and something he chalked up to hanging out with too many artsy folks, and you wondered what else you would learn about him.

“Don’t museums make you just want to fall in love?” Jimin nudged you with his elbow as you headed back to the lobby. You laughed loudly.

“Not at all.”

“Oh come on, Y/N. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything in your cold, dead heart as we walked around the museum. You looked so content and at peace,” he added.

“I was. That was the effect of the artwork, not you.”

“So you don’t think I belong in the Greek statue exhibit at the MET Museum?” He flexed his arms behind his head as he winked at me. You did your best to ignore the flutter in your belly as you disagreed with him. “It’s okay. I’ll win you over. Even if it’s only for a really good video. I haven’t forgotten that I’m your muse.” You shook your head at his usual attempt to flirt when his phone rang in his pocket.

“Yes?” he answered, irritated. It sounded out of place from his usual casual tone. He excused himself and you sat on a bench in front of the museum to wait for him.

The view of the harbor was stunning and you welcomed the gentle breeze keeping you cool in the 84-degree heat. You took a short video of the boats drifting at the dock, a few of them further out bobbing along with the waves. Your own phone buzzing distracted you from the serene riverscape, Adele’s name appearing on the screen with a picture attachment. You opened it and nearly dropped your phone.

Adele: Told you so. [16:57].

Below it, a photo of her and your brother. He was smiling into the camera as the two of them posed. Milo’s face had lost its chubbiness, his jaw more angular and his cheekbones more pronounced. His dimples were just as deep and matched the same pair Adele sported. That particular gene had skipped you; you got stuck with the freckles. His hair was cut short, different from the long floppy locks he used to wear in high school. How he had managed to take this photo without Adele ripping that gold hoop out of his nose was beyond you and you smiled seeing that your rebellious little brother was still there. Milo really had come home.

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grandmascottlang · 5 years ago

Text

I feel really hurt.

I have this "friend" (let's call him... John for the sake of this story) and if you know me IRL, you probably know who he is, how he acts, etc. He's the guy with three first names if you don't know who he is from reading what he's been doing to me for the past couple of weeks.

Also if you read this whole thing, please don't reblog it.

So John has been a decent friend over the years, I met him in sixth grade (or around the time I was 11-12 years old if you don't know how the American school system works lmao) and we were pretty close.

Over the past few years, however, he's become insanely hard to hang out with and contact due to all of his obligations and school work. It literally took him days to respond or he wouldn't.

He's wasted my time, money, friendship, and hope over the years because he focuses solely on one thing at a time. First it was his position in a club, now it's his girlfriend.

And no shade to his gf because she's nice, but he's literally always with her. Every second of every day and he is ONLY with her.

Now mind you, when I came to visit my best friend at my current college during spring break last semester (for reference, I wasn't attending the current university where I'm at now, I just transferred here this semester), I posted on my Snapchat that I was here and I was leaving the next day to go back to Georgia where I was at for school. He dms me and asks why I didn't tell him I was there because he would've liked to hang out. He tells me to let him know the next time I'm in town.

I told him when I was in town; I was in town for Thanksgiving and for Winter Break (since obviously I was transferring to the same school that he's at and I'm currently at now). I wanted to hang out with this guy and never got a response. It irks me that he practically forced me to tell him whenever I was in town and yet doesn't have the audacity to send anything back.

Moving on, a couple days before the semester starts, I tell him that I'm in town permanently because I transferred and we establish that we'll hang out the next week and he'll be the one to let me know when he's available. A week goes by and I text him if he's still down to hang out. He says yeah (albeit almost another week later) but he'll have to do it after he deals with his roommate situation and his schedule.

And I'm not stupid, alright? I see the amount of time he hangs out with his gf on social media, he at least has time to hang out with her. I've seen him like four times on campus and this point and I've tried initiating a conversation with him but he just says hi and goes back to only caring about his girlfriend.

So needless to say, I'm pissed. I tell my friends and parents about the situation with John and everyone's just like drop him. And you have to understand that I really want to, however, when he was actually an attentive friend, he was a great guy and an even better friend. I bent over backwards for him and to this day, if he needed something or someone to talk to, or anything, I'd be there.

And my ex-bestfriend treats me the same way and I don't talk to him anymore (and I don't care to) because he genuinely betrayed me, wasted my money, wasted my time, and he's wasted over a decade of my life. So I've felt this before and I don't want it to just end like that friendship did.

I wanted to confront him today, to give him the option to either be my friend and move on or just stop. I don't care whatever happens. So I ask him a few days ago if he's down to talk because he hasn't reached out to me at this point and clearly isn't going to. He says "oh hey! yeah, i just moved out and everything's great so i can definitely do that!" I'm already slightly annoyed at this point because he clearly had enough time to spend with his girlfriend everyday and somehow he can't be separated from her for more than a few seconds and "now" he finally has time to hang out. So we establish that we're meeting at 5:00 PM today in a place that's easy for both of us to get to.

So at 4:50 PM today he texts me and tells me that he's on his way and he'd only be able to be there for a maximum of half an hour because he has to go watch a movie for a class. And you know that professor's don't spring stuff up like that. If something's taking place outside of class, you have to tell your students in advance. So I'm like (in my head), you gave me thirty minutes of your time when I asked if we could talk because I have something important to talk to you about?????? Shows how much you care for me. So I tell him I'm still down to hang out, but I would rather talk to him on a different day that he's genuinely free. I don't hear back from him and I wait for him until 5:30 PM. JOHN DOESN'T EVEN SHOW UP. So I'm fucking pissed and I walk outside to the bus stop (because I have to ride the bus to get to my dorm) and I missed my bus because I was waiting for him. And the buses are delayed for about an hour. So I can't get home, I'm standing in the snow until I find out that they've been delayed for 50 minutes. He texts me later and "apologizes" and I'm like. Okay. But we need to talk. Now even more so.

So I got stood up today, I got told through someone's actions that I'm irrelevant, I missed my bus, and got covered in about an inch of snow. So today's been great.

#rant #i can't with this guy #like #ugh

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clarkewilliams-blog · 5 years ago

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hey lads!!! i’m reese ( 21, est, they/them ) and this here is clarke. i’ve played too many versions of him but i’ve revamped him a bit here to make him a slightly better player so he can have the contract that would let him fit somewhat into this rp lmao. all you need to know about me is that i fucking love hockey and my og team fucking sucks so all i’ve done for the past five years is love on prospects and watch them develop and ( sometimes ) make it to the nhl. so i apologize in advance for going absolute ham on the details of clarke’s path to the nhl no one cares abt. clarke’s a mix of some of my fav nhl prospects and players which i’ll list at the end if anyone cares. also i don’t really know anything about the rangers besides lundqvist being the king and how to properly pronounce skjei so bear with me here.

i’m always super excited to play clarke, so let’s get to it!!!

gregg sulkin. male. he/him. ／ clarke williams just pulled up blasting high hopes by panic! at the disco — that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-four year old nyr defenseman, i’ve heard they’re really -private, but that they make up for it by being so +easygoing. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say cold lakewater against sweaty skin, the cool shadows around a spotlight, and an easy smile captured by an unnoticed camera. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble! ( reese, 21, est, they/them)

THE STORY

--- clarke williams was born on the coldest day of december in a snowstorm, it was only fitting then he would love the cold like nothing else. he fell in love with skating long before he did the sport of hockey : he loved how it made him feel, how exhilarating and freeing it was. when he was eight, he picked up his first hockey stick ( a little LATE by some standards ) and fell in love again.

--- he ascended beyond his peers quickly, driving the game from the blue line even at a young age. his high school made a bid for the coveted state championship TWICE : once his freshman year and again his sophomore year. they never did make it all the way and that’s something he wishes he could have experienced. despite not winning it all, he was noticed by scouts and invited to the tryout camp for the us national team development program. he made the program and finished his last two years of high school with the ntdp in ann arbor, michigan with the u17 and u18 teams, respectively.

--- after his graduation from the program, he was selected in the second round of the 2013 NHL draft, 49th overall to the san jose sharks ( IRONICALLY, that draft pick was originally from the rangers ). he was scouted by the university of north dakota, quinnapiac, and university of minnesota; ultimately, he committed to north dakota, the first school to offer him a scholarship. his freshman year he was selected to team usa at the 18u world juniors where they won gold (2014 u18 wjc), and again his junior year to the 20u world juniors where they won bronze (2016 wjc).

--- the end of his junior year he chose to sign his entry level contract with the sharks instead of finishing his final year at north dakota : they made the frozen four all three years of his tenure, finally winning it all in 2016. it seemed like a fitting time to move on. waiting out the full four years of college and going to free agency had never been on clarke’s mind, the sharks were the ones who’d seen something in him, drafted him, and believed in him — he was always going to sign with them. he finished the 15-16 season on a professional try out with the sharks’ ahl team, the san jose barracuda.

—- the next season (16-17) he played for the barracuda and was called up at the end of the season when injuries plagued the team. he played well during the playoffs but was held to no points and the next season despite his best efforts, he was sent down to the barracuda halfway through training camp. that season (17-18) he was called up in january, once again the sharks made playoffs and he played in them, building upon his progress from the season prior. he entered the off-season feeling like he was in a good place and ready to work through the season, determined to make the big club in october.

—- however, that off-season brought chaos. he’d already flown into san jose for training camp when his agent called with news of a trade. clarke was sent to ottawa as one of the many pieces in the erik karlsson trade. but it didn’t end there, he was still packing when news of a second trade hit : he’d been flipped to the new york rangers in exchange for a third round pick.

—- he arrived at rangers training camp with something to prove, determined to show not one but two teams they’d made a mistake in trading him. he still didn’t make the team straight out of camp, but he played a mere three games with the hartford wolfpack before an injury hit the rangers and he got the call to join the big club. determined to not let this opportunity slip through his hands, he played his heart out on the ice, having an impressive breakout season and establishing his place as a talented two-way defenseman. he did not get sent back down that year (18-19).

—- this past off-season, the team took a gamble and signed him to a lengthy contract instead of a bridge deal, 6 years 4.5 AAV. he starts the first year of this contract this upcoming season.

MISC

—- clarke spends his summers in minnesota at his family’s lake house. he 100% has that dumb minnesota energy and posts videos of him wakeboarding all the time. when he’s not training and preparing for the season or playing in da beauty league ( a summer minnesota hockey league ), he’s probably on a boat. he’s most likely just returned to new york very recently.

—- very calm off the ice ; very easy-going and likes to keep things light. it’s his way with dealing with stress and pressure : just pretend it isn’t there and it won’t affect you.— he’s a hella private person but kinda not in an obvious way?? like he doesn’t share much about himself, esp what he’s feeling or even when massive things happen in his life; even his mom doesn’t know a lot of things that happen/happened to him. however, at the same time he’s extremely personable and friendly, which makes it not super obvious to his friends that they don’t really know a ton about him until they really think about it.

— “tough as a junkyard dog” ; “an absolute beast” ; will play injured ( i don’t condone this and no one should but i can’t stop him… ). there’s this large blotchy thing on his neck that kinda looks like a hickey or rash but it’s actually a three a half inch scar he got when he was 16 when a skate slashed his neck. he’s very lucky it didn’t hit his main artery. it runs from about his adam’s apple and extends toward the side of his neck.

—- he lives in an apartment with two of his teammates during the season, it makes the rent a little more reasonable.

—- ain’t no lie, baby. bi bi bi. ( but on the DL obv ).

—- hockey may have been in clarke’s blood; however, his mother knew the merit of clarke being a well-rounded athlete : he ran cross-country and track, played baseball, and lacrosse. he especially excelled at baseball, but he absolutely hated the practices, so his stint with it did not last particular long. but he had a tough competitive streak, doing well in xc and track, and even lacrosse to a degree ( it certainly helped spades with his hand-eye coordination ). he started focuses more on hockey once hitting high school.

—- SEHNSUCHT : it’s a german word that roughly translates to a yearning for the future, and can maybe be considered a rough antonym for nostalgia. it’s rooted in a belief of constant improvement and that perfection is impossible to achieve ( but that it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for it anyway ). it fits will very well ; he’s not one to dwell on the past and is constantly working to improve himself and his game.

—- he really likes being high up, not because of any sense of ego but actually being high up and looking down at things helps him keep things in perspective ( everything is just a small part of each other ).

—- he hates when people worry about him which is real ironic since he worries about everyone else too much ; be it his team, his friends, or family. it comes with being extremely loyal. on the ice he hates to see teammates pushed around and pretty much will always do something about it.

—- he was raised by a single mother and he appreciates her very much #doubleshifting. it’s given him a humble outlook on life and for a while, he worked as a line cook in a diner to help pay for his hockey equipment. he never wanted to make the nhl for the money or fame, he just wanted to make a living playing the sport he loved. the most he’s made the tabloids was when he briefly dated a model/singer ( possible wc??? ) — they broke up after three months: she couldn’t cope with his schedule and said he was distracted from her.

—- he studied aeronautics in college because besides going into the nhl, the one thing he wanted to be was a pilot.

—- there’s this video of brock boeser where he says “y’know” 45 times in a three minute interview and that’s clarke trying to do media. ( like i said, dumb minnesota energy ).

—- PLAYING STYLE : clarke is an excellent two-way defenseman. his most prominent skill is his ability to skate. he’s very quick and evasive and very good on his edges. he’s good at defensive zone exits and capable of jumping up in the rush, and his speed allows him to get back quickly if he needs to. his slapshot finds its way through traffic and he’s looking to get more minutes on the second powerplay on the point. he can throw big hits when necessary and doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his body to block shots. he’s good muscle on the ice when scrums break out.

—- 6’3” 201 lbs.

—- PLAY COMPARABLES: brendan guhle ( skating ability and speed ), seth jones ( two-way game ), jake mccabe ( physicality ).

—- PERSONALITY COMPARABLES : brock boeser, will borgen, casey mittelstadt ( just... dumb minnesota energy )

if you actually read all that... i’m very impressed and we definitely need to plot. i’m not one for listing wc’s mostly because i’m bad at them. i’ll be back later after my family thing to read intros, plot, and get interacting with you all!!

oh also fun fact, i also wrote most of this without brady skjei in mind until i went on campfriendly to find contract comparables and i lowkey kinda accidentally made brady skjei huh.

#excessintro #( fun fact: all of this is accurate minus the ottawa-rangers trade #that i made up just bc #i really wanted him to be part of the karl/sson trade whoops... )#( i really went ham on this i'm so sorry )

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t0ngue-tech · 6 years ago

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All Yours | Six

“’Y/n?”’

‘Hm?’ You answered with a low hum whilst tying your shoelace. There was a crack in Yoongi’s voice when he said your name so it concerned you.

You stood back up on your feet and turned to lock eyes with him. ‘Yeah?’

He opened his mouth to answered, but licked his lips instead. ‘I—nevermind. It’s—I kind of answered my own question in my head.’

There was a nervous chuckle that left his lips and you tried your hardest to not think too much of it.”

↠angsty fluff (lots of dialogue in this one yall) universityAU ↞

word count: 5.8k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 7 | ↞

A/N: WHEEEEEEEW POSTING JUST BEFORE THE MONTH ENDS LMAO. this is a late thanksgiving gift huhu. i am so thankful for all of you who appreciate my fics because i know im not the best writer out there, but you guise help build my confidence huhu. this is totes long overdue and i really hope you guise enjoy this chapter. (i apologize if there are any errors, ya girl is exhausted so i might fix it up later lol) i love you guise so much ♡

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓

Morning.

How were you able to fall asleep perfectly fine until the morning?

When you awoke, Yoongi was sleeping peacefully with the front of his body facing towards the wall. This made it easy for you to roll out of bed without bothering him.

You stirred your coffee and yawned so deeply you felt as if your jaw was going to dislocate. Going to your classes was the last thing you wanted to do. Your body craved sleep and your eyes were still sore from crying last night. But going to class meant avoiding any awkward conversations with Yoongi, so you opted to go.

And yet, this also meant you were going to see Seung Ho, the guy Seolhyun cheated on Yoongi with. This was a class that you couldn’t skip because you desperately needed more attendance points to bump your grade up a little higher.

You tanked entire cup of coffee, ignoring how hot it was, and sighed. Maybe you were overthinking things. Seung Ho didn’t have any business with you so why would he confront you with anything regarding the situation in the first place. But he did know how close you were with Yoongi and if he put two and two together, Seung Ho would know that Yoongi talked to you about it.

It was only 7:30 in the morning and you were already ready to choke yourself with your hair, so you drank whatever was left of your coffee and gathered your clothes to shower.

The shower was able to destress you a bit, but as soon as you stepped out, everything came rushing back. You just needed to survive the day and then you could open up another bottle of wine to have before you go to sleep.

When you entered your room, Yoongi was curled up on his side, facing the door and scrolling through his phone with squinted eyes. He noticed you walk in and instantly sat up.

“Good morning.” He rasped, still half asleep.

“Good morning. Nice hair.” You smiled at the way some of his blond locks stuck out and curled upward.

Yoongi shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. “What time are you leaving?”

You stared at your phone and pondered for a few seconds. “Hm, maybe around 9:15? I need to go over some of my corrections on my literature paper with my professor before I print it out.”

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“I’m about to.” You combed your fingers through your damp hair, shaking it a bit. “Care to join me? Waffles are on the menu.”

↠↞

The atmosphere felt different as you two stood in your small kitchen. Yoongi was preparing himself a cup of coffee while you were waiting for the last pair of chocolate chip waffles to pop out of your toaster. It was comfortable, yet heavy, but normal at the same time.

Yoongi moved naturally inside of your kitchen: going through your fridge to grab the bottle of syrup and even making you a cup of coffee, knowing you probably already had a cup as soon as you got up.

He propped himself on the sofa and carefully placed both of the coffee mugs beside each other. Your attention was so fixated on Yoongi that when the waffles popped out of the toaster, it scared the living hell out of you and made you yelp.

“Goddamnit.” You muttered, quickly pulling out the waffles.

“I don’t think there’s ever going to be a day where you don’t scared of something popping out of the toaster.” Yoongi laughed and sipped on his coffee.

“Is than an insult, Min Yoongi?” You trotted over to the living room with two plates of equally divided waffles on each.

“Yes it was, y/n.” He answered sarcastically and stole one of the plates from your hand.

To your surprise, you both had a lovely breakfast together. Yoongi vividly described the dream he had which dealt with freakishly large goldfish bowls and lagoons of chocolate that surrounded bowls. You jokingly advised him to never indulge in hot pockets before sleeping unless he wants more dreams like that one.

“Yeah, but at least the goldfish weren’t mutants.” Yoongi said entering your kitchen with the dishes.

“Still, nobody wants to see fish that big staring at you.” You commented. Why were you two still discussing his dream? You weren’t even sure yourself. But it was nice to know that you could talk to him as if nothing happened.

You stared at your closet for a few seconds, forgetting that you flipped your work schedule to work tomorrow instead of today—if you knew all of this would’ve happened, maybe you would’ve kept your original schedule.

“Are you staying here?” You asked Yoongi as he flopped back down on your bed.

“I might step out for little. I’m not too sure yet.” Yoongi replied, watching you stuff your pencil cases with a few more pieces of stationery.

“Should I leave you my key or are you going to go back to your dorm?”

“Actually—“ Yoongi took a second to think. “I’ll probably just stay cooped up in here.”

“Whatever sweetens your coffee, Yoongs. Just try not to eat all of my snacks.”

You stood in front of your mirror and ruffled your hair to give it an illusion of voluminous locks and behind you, you could see Yoongi sitting cross legged on your bed. He was picking at his nails, something he usually did whenever he was in deep thought. There were so many things that could be swarming inside of his head at that moment and you decided to not wreck your brain over it.

After staring at yourself in the mirror for what seemed to be ten years, you decided to switch out your coat for a hooded jacket. Since it was pouring last night, you wanted to be prepared just in case there was going to be an unexpected downpour.

You let out a deep sigh and slipped an arm through one of your backpack straps. “I should get going.”

Yoongi hopped off the bed to walk you to your door. It wasn’t necessary but you didn’t protest. He closely followed behind you and gave you room to sit on your floor to put on a pair of shoes.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You answered with a low hum whilst tying your shoelace. There was a crack in Yoongi’s voice when he said your name so it concerned you.

You stood back up on your feet and turned to lock eyes with him. “Yeah?”

He opened his mouth to answered, but licked his lips instead. “I—nevermind. It’s—I kind of answered my own question in my head.”

There was a nervous chuckle that left his lips and you tried your hardest to not think too much of it.

“Oh—kay. Then, I’m off.” You smiled at him and walked out, locking the door behind you.

↠↞

Y/n, you need to relax. If Seung Ho even notices that you’re acting a certain way, he’ll probably call you out on it.

It’s only been ten minutes since class started and you already felt your hands sweating. Seung Ho had already greeted you with his usual hey beautiful once he sat down and you ignored him as you always did.

The class was mostly quiet besides the students who asked the professor for help on some math problems. You sat at your computer, clicking away and solving the problems in your notebook in front of you. Once in a while, you would glance at Seung Ho to see if he was as focused you were—focused was a loose term considering how much bricks you were shitting.

What was Yoongi doing at your dorm? What was there to do there? Unlike their dorm, you didn’t have a gaming system and you took your laptop with you because you needed it for your meeting this morning. All Yoongi had was your television, his phone, and your snacks.

God, I hope he doesn’t eat all of my snacks.

You made a mental note to bring dinner for the both of you before heading back home.

50 minutes flew by at the speed of light. Everyone was stuffing their bags with their binders and signing out of the math website while the professor was reminding everyone about the objective due on Sunday. All you needed to do was rush out of the classroom before Seung Ho could say anything else to you; not even his see you next week, babe. You shuddered at the thought. It never really fully bothered you whenever he talked to you like that because he never made any advances towards you at all. But now that you knew what he did with Seolhyun, it disgusted you.

Like a god sent act of mercy, you were able to leave the classroom before Seung Ho did. Unfortunately, the devil works just as fast because you were able to walk about five feet from the doors and when you properly swung your bag over your shoulder, your pencil case flew out as well as a few of your pens.

“Fuck, fuck, fucking mushrooms on my pizza.” The choice of words that tumbled out of your mouth confused yourself and you creased your eyebrows together. You tried to gather your pens with haste and right when you were going to grab the last pen that almost strayed into the grass, Seung Ho stepped in to pick it up for you.

“Hi, y/n.” He handed you the pen and you grasped it in between your shaky fingers.

“Hey..” You breathed.

“I’m going to safely assume that Yoongi told you what happened.”

You almost argued with him by saying something like why the fuck did you get in bed with her in the first damn place but this wasn’t your fight. So you just nodded your head and avoided any eye contact whatsoever.

“Seolhyun wants to talk to him.”

“Yeah well, she can ask him herself.” Ouch, y/n. Too sassy?

Seung Ho adjusted his hat and pulled the sleeves of his flannel down to his wrists. “He isn’t answering any of her calls or text messages.”

“Can you blame him?” The sass spewed out naturally and with everyone walking by, you really didn’t want to have this conversation at that moment. “I need to get to my next class, Seung Ho-”

“Just tell him that Seolhyun wants to talk to him tomorrow. She just wants to have a chance to explain herself. Yoongi deserves an explanation.” You visibly exhaled a deep breath and looked at the time on your phone. “Please, y/n.”

You folded your arms and rolled your eyes. “Fine.” What am I? Their messenger?

Seung Ho gave you a weak smile and put his hands together as a thank you. He brushed passed you and you stood there knowing damn well Yoongi is going to stubborn and not talk to Seolhyun. If you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t want to talk to her either.

But you did kiss him, making Yoongi walk out of your dorm with the look of regret on his face.

You frowned and looked back at your phone. Great, you dragged your mood even further through the mud and you had three minutes to get across campus to your next class.

↠↞

It was a long day—a long school day at least. Lectures seemed a lot longer than usual and the breaks between your classes were supposed to relieve you, but it only made you feel more tired. You needed to pick yourself up a little, so you headed towards the university coffee shop where you found Hani flirting with Seokjin over the bar counter.

“My dumpling!” Hani completely abandoned Seokjin and rushed towards you. “How are you? You didn’t open up my text so I was worried.”

“I’m alright, Hani. Sorry, I’ve just been out of my head since this morning.” You sat down on the empty stool beside hers and Seokjin handed you a vanilla latte.

“I hope you don’t mind, I kind of bribed Hani to tell me some details because I couldn’t wait until your shift tomorrow.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Can you heat up two paninis? The spinach and the chicken one? Just take the payment out of my paycheck, I’m too lazy to grab my wallet.”

Seokjin did just that, leaving you and Hani to talk.

“So, is Yoongi still at your dorm?”

You nodded your head whilst taking a sip out of your latte. You also texted him during your last class just to make sure he was still there.

“Other stuff happened last night—no, no! Nothing like that!” You laughed at the way Hani’s eyes turned into moons. “I—I really don’t know if I have the right to tell you, but I love you and I trust you.” She nodded her head and anticipated your next few words. “Seolhyun cheated on Yoongi last night.”

Seokjin came back at the perfect time. The dropped the bag of food onto the counter with his mouth agape. Hani mirrored his expression and blinked a few times.

“She cheated-cheated?!” Seokjin exclaimed.

“Yeah,” You sighed. “She was having sex with Seung Ho when Yoongi walked into her room.”

“Yoongi saw what hap—oh my god.” Hani raised her fingers to her lips and remained stunned. You were just as shocked when Yoongi told you, so you understood when they didn’t have much to stay.

“I should get back to my dorm.” You reached over the counter and looped the bag handles through your fingers. “Thanks for these, Seokjin. I’ll update you guys if anything else happens.”

Hani hopped off her seat and opened her arms for you to enter. Her hug was warm and it was something you really needed. You wanted to cry and tell her how stupid you felt for doing what you did last night, but this wasn’t about you. So, you just smiled at the Hani and Seokjin, promising again to update them.

↠↞

The hallway was toasty warm compared to the cold air outside. You were so grateful to finally be back at your dorm where you could throw on pajamas and have your spinach panini—and have casual talk with Yoongi too. Speaking of Yoongi, you didn’t even have a chance to tell him that you bought a small dinner for the both of you.

Oh well, food is food.

You unlocked your door and found both Yoongi and Jungkook sitting in your living room. You first made eye contact with Yoongi and then with Jungkook who had sauce stained on his chin.

“Uh, hi?” You chuckled and slid your shoes off.

“Hey, y/n! Welcome back!” Jungkook lifted his styrofoam bowl up for you to see. “Beef broccoli?”

“Thanks, but I have mines.” You raised the bag that was clutched in between your fingers.

Yoongi beckoned you to join them on the sofa and Jungkook scooted over to make room for you to sit in between them.

“If I knew you were here, I would’ve gotten you a panini too.” You waved the chicken panini in front of Jungkook before passing it on to Yoongi. It seemed like he ate already judging by the second styrofoam bowl that was on your coffee table, but he still took it from you and unwrapped the paper.

“I thought Yoongi told you.” The both of you flickered your attention towards Yoongi who paused mid-bite.

“Sorry.” He mumbled after fully sinking his teeth into the toasted bread. “I literally have no idea where my phone went after I texted Jungkook to come over.”

“He left his phone in our fridge once.” Jungkook mentioned, scarfing down the rest of his food.

“There was one time where he left his phone in between the couch cushions at the lounge. I’m surprised it was there the next morning.” You laughed and Yoongi gave you the are you done yet look.

“Oh! He once—“

“Jungkook, don’t you have a study group to go to?” Yoongi quickly cut him off and flung the panini wrapper square in the face of Jungkook.

Jungkook took a swig from his water bottle and looked down at his phone for the time. Within milliseconds, his eyes grew wide and almost choked on his beverage.

Jungkook pushed himself off your sofa and messily gathered his things. He stuffed whatever trash was lying around into the plastic bag he got with his food.

“I’ll toss these out outside, y/n.” Jungkook shook the plastic bag around his wrist. He waddled over towards your front door where all of the footwear was neatly placed and stepped into his slides. “Bye y/n! See you later, Yoongi!”

He shuffled out of your dorm accidentally slamming your door because of all of the things he was carrying. You heard the muffled sound of Jungkook’s voice saying sorry! behind the door.

“He’s seriously the cutest. I understand why you love him so much.” You chuckled and scooted over to sit where Jungkook was sitting.

“Ehh, I don’t love him that much.”

You laughed at the look Yoongi gave you because you could already tell he was lying.

The room fell silent and you weren’t sure if it was the perfect time to mention Seolhyun’s name. There was no mention of her name whatsoever since this last night, so bringing her up too out of the blue didn’t seem right. Within the silence, Yoongi looked as if an idea had struck him and he fished in between the couch cushions and like magic, his phone was uncovered.

“Well, shit.” He breathed and you snorted with laughter.

“You didn’t even feel any sort of vibration or hear your text message tone at all?” You were at the brink of tears at this point and abdominal muscles were already forming over your stomach.

“No, I—” Yoongi continuously clicked on the home button as well as the lock button. “I guess my phone died?”

The confused look on his face made you laugh even more.

Defeated by your amusement to his confusion, he shook his head and retreated into your room to grab a phone charger.

“Now that I think about it, I did invite Jungkook over around two and I think my phone percentage was around fifteen percent?” Jungkook sat on the floor so he could keep his phone close as he charged it.

“And for four hours, you lost your phone?” You got comfortable and stretched your legs out onto your sofa.

“Yeah and what took you so long anyway? I thought your last class finished at three today.”

“My lab partner and I wanted to perfect our hypothesis and experiment—actually, I texted you this.” You chucked in disbelief and showcased your conversation with Yoongi.

[12:46] You: i might fall asleep in this library

[1:03] Yoongz: I already took two naps. One on your bed and another on your sofa

[1:35] You: i’m going to die in my criminology class

[3:22] You: hey, i’m staying back to fix up my lab. idk when i’m going to be back but don’t eat all of my food pls

Yoongi stared blankly at your phone and once his phone booted up, it vibrated on your floor like crazy. The sound startled you and you sat up to take a quick look at his phone.

There were a few twitter and email notifications, but the thing that stood out the most was Seolhyun’s name on his phone that he already changed to her first and last name. Yoongi remained quiet as he stared at the multiple text messages he received from Seolhyun. There were repeated messages of please call me back and talk to me. Yoongi shifted his body and you quickly looked away from his phone.

“Are you?” You cleared your throat. “Gonna call her back, that is.”

He didn’t turn to face you, instead, he took a deep breath mumbled, “I don’t know.”

On an impulse, your fingers reached up to gently graze a few strands of Yoongi’s hair. You continued to move up and massage his scalp with your fingertips. “Don’t you want to hear an explanation?”

“And listen to her rant about how I’ve been such a bad boyfriend to the point where she had to cheat on me?” There was clear anger in Yoongi’s words and you couldn’t blame him.

“Yoongi-”

“I don’t want to hear anything that she has to say, y/n.” Yoongi twisted his body around and with the lightest grip you had on the back of head, your hand was now resting on his cheek when he turned.

Your eyes felt like they were stinging with tears and you didn’t even know why you felt like crying. Maybe because it was the pain that Yoongi held in his eyes and see how fast he was breathing. Yoongi didn’t deserve this, and Seung Ho was right, he deserved an explanation.

“Seung Ho talked to me after class—Yoongi please just—just listen,” Yoongi rolled his eyes and you cupped his face with both hands. “I know you’re assuming that you’re going to hear her mention about you being a bad boyfriend and hey, maybe you won’t. But Seung Ho even said that you deserve and explanation and frankly, I agree.”

Yoongi focused his attention to somewhere else on the floor and you squished his cheeks and made him look at you. “This is closure. I know you’re done, but you should also get everything you want off your chest too because she needs to know how much you tried and how much it hurt to be the only one trying.”

The stern look in his eyes grew softer and it seemed like he was finally listening to you. Yoongi rested one of his hands on your knee and drummed his fingers against the fabric of your jeans.

“Fine.” He sighed and you softly smiled at him. “But only on one condition—you have to come with me.”

Your jaw dropped a little and your pace of your blinking grew rapid. “I—I don’t think that’s a good idea, Yoongi. Especially since, for some reason, you told her that you kissed me.”

“She’s not going to do anything to you. I won’t let her.” Yoongi’s voice sounded certain. “I just don’t want to be left alone with her.”

He grazed your knee and you tried not to flinch. You really didn’t want to be around Seolhyun, especially because she knows that the two of you kissed. But if it was the price to pay to let Yoongi have his closure, then so be it.

“O-Okay..” You said quietly. “I’ll go.”

“Thank you.” Yoongi’s voice was just as quiet as yours and his lips twitched upward into a small smile.

Honestly, if Yoongi continued to look at you the way he was at the moment, you would lose all restraint and kiss him again. Yoongi’s eyes held every star in the universe and you didn’t understand what made Seolhyun want to cheat on someone like him.

The sound of your text message tone made you two break eye contact; you were disappointed yet relieved.

“Everything okay?” Yoongi asked whilst standing up.

“Yeah, Jungkook just asked me if you found your phone yet.” You chuckled a little and tapped away at your keyboard.

“I guess I should text him.” Yoongi bent down to retrieve his phone. “By the way, sorry if I invited him over like it was my own place. I just asked him to bring me my bag with some clothes and my charger.”

“It’s no problem.” You answered. “You’re not heading back to your dorm?”

Yoongi set his phone back down and stuck his hands into his pockets. “U-Uh, no. Not tonight, if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You breathed. “I”m uh, I’m gonna take a shower. I probably smell like chemicals.”

↠↞

That hot shower hit the spot. Even if the shower was the perfect place to stand in deep thought, you didn’t want to think about anything that had to deal with Seolhyun or Yoongi staying over again. You did promise yourself to not lose anymore self control because now was not the time to think about kissing him again or even cuddling with him. You caught yourself blushing as you dried your hair.

“Get yourself together, y/n. Keep your shit together.” You huffed quietly and unplugged your hair dryer.

When you walked into your room, Yoongi was changed into a gray tracksuit and was sitting cross legged on your bed. You spotted his backpack sitting on your desk chair which reminded you that your bag was still in your living room.

“You’re going to sleep already?” Yoongi called out.

“No, I have to make a few revisions on my paper.” You returned shortly, basically dragging your bag on the floor.

“Oh. Uh, well, if you’re done early, do you want to watch something on Netflix?” He averted his eyes away from you and found the loose thread on your blanket more interesting.

You chuckled at his shyness and took a seat across from him with your laptop tucked underneath your arm. “Sure.”

While you clacked away at your keyboard, Yoongi was absorbed in a game on his phone. He plugged his charger into the usb port on the side of your laptop, so he was lying down with his body at a 90 degree angle against your wall. It felt like nothing ever happened between you two because his presence was comforting.

After a few more strokes on your keyboard, you cracked your knuckles in front of you and sighed. “Done?” Yoongi asked whilst sitting up.

“Yeah, for the most part. I just hope this is the last revision I need to do.” You set your already heated laptop on your desk to properly cool. About 40 minutes had passed since you started revising and your back felt like it needed to be snapped in half like a glow stick.

“Let’s watch Coraline. It’s been a while.” Yoongi suggested and you didn’t complain, it was your favorite movie.

He took the liberty to take your laptop and set it up near the footside of your bed. You shared Yoongi’s Netflix account along with Jungkook, Jin, and Seolhyun; he was probably going to change his password soon.

The “continue watching” section was an array of genres ranging from anime to serial killer documentaries to food related videos. But Coraline always remained somewhere on that list. Yoongi didn’t know you rewatched the movie last week, but you didn’t mind watching it again and you especially didn’t mind watching it with him.

You were in the kitchen pouring some chips into a bowl and grabbing two water bottles out of your refrigerator when you heard the start up music of Coraline.

“I was so close to getting a yellow raincoat because of this movie.” You tossed a water bottle to Yoongi who already made himself comfortable against your head board.

“What stopped you?”

“My will power.” You snorted at the contradiction of your words and placed your head pillow onto your lap to sit next to him.

It was now farther into the movie, the chips were completely finished after two refills and the empty bottles were sitting on your desk. You were still sitting up with your legs stretched out to avoid your feet falling asleep. On the other hand, Yoongi’s entire body was already stretched out onto the mattress with his head sunk deep into the pillow.

“You know the first time I saw this movie, I really wasn’t expecting it to be this creepy.” You chuckled at the memory of you being a bit more terrified than your liking; it literally gave you a few sleepless nights after the first time watching it.

You waited for Yoongi to tease you or make some sort of sarcastic remark and it struck you as odd when you didn’t hear anything coming from him.

“I swear if you’re—” You turned your head to him. “Asleep.”

Yoongi had his head tilted towards your body and his hands were resting flat on top of his stomach. It almost felt like a crime to wake him up because he looked peaceful whilst sleeping, so opted to move as quiet and nimble as possible. You started to reach forward to pause the movie and with the subtle movement you made on the bed was enough to awake him.

“Finished already?” He tried to play it off and stretched his arms up and placed them behind his head.

“You’re not slick, Min Yoongi.” You scoffed and continued to clean up the mess around you two. “You literally took two naps today and you still managed to sleep while watching Coraline.”

“Are you surprised?” He shuffled his body to curl up on his left side to watch you clean up.

That answer was coming from the same boy who slept for almost a full day, had dinner, and then fell back asleep after letting himself digest for about an hour. All in all, I guess you weren’t as surprised as you thought.

Without exchanging anymore words, you put everything away into its respectful places and turned off your light with only the dim light from outside peeking through your curtains. Yoongi was still lying on his side with one hand tucked in between his knees and the other underneath his cheek. While your eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room, you could still see the whites of Yoongi’s eyes. You continuously told yourself to stay cool and to not show any signs of anxiety about lying down next to him. Everything between the two of you remained the same since this morning so just because you were going to sleep beside him doesn’t mean that it was time for the energy to change.

“Y/n?” Yoongi’s voice cut through your thoughts.

“Hm?” You hummed and sat down on your space of the bed.

“Can I—Can I ask you something?” As Yoongi stated the question, he sat up himself to sit cross legged towards you.

Your heart thumped against your chest cavity at the way he said can i ask you something? “Sure.”

The sigh he pushed out was audible and scooted closer to you. His eyes were darted elsewhere and the silence was weighing heavy around you.

“Can…” He started. “Can I have another kiss?”

Yoongi’s question knocked the wind out of your lungs and made your heart stop beating for a second. In what world would Yoongi be asking for a kiss because this had to be a dream. What made things worse was that you were actually giving it some thought and you were just telling yourself to get your shit together.

Now was not the time to be thinking about how soft his lips were or how lovely the dainty features on his face looked like. You especially didn’t want to think about how much you really wanted to kiss him.

Let’s be real; kissing him was a stupid and painful decision that you made on your own, but was it a crime to want to kiss him again? It had to be.

“Why..?” Your question came out as a tiny squeak and you were hoping you didn’t sound offensive or bothered by the idea.

“I just..” Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. “I like the way your lips feel.”

You wanted to laugh at the way he started, but he spoke without a mere chuckle so everything else that followed deemed serious.

“I also thought about why you would’ve kissed me and I think I figured it out.” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “There’s also a lot I want to talk to you about. It’s stuff that’s been bothering me, but we can talk about all of that another time.” He sighed and made heavy eye contact with you. “I just really want to kiss you.”

This had to all be a dream; you would’ve slapped yourself to check, but now was not the time.

It didn’t feel right to kiss him. It didn’t feel right to want to hold his hand as you laid down next to him because he just went through an ordeal. Yoongi needed to rest, even if he had a good amount of rest today. He needed time to gather himself especially since he agreed to meet with Seolhyun to have closure. All you had to do was politely tell him that now was not the right time for this. But as sane as you were most of the time, you were selfish about some things sometimes.

And now was one of those times.

“O-Okay..” You breathed.

Even in your dimmed room, you saw Yoongi’s eyes light up at your answer and it almost made your lips twitch into a smile.

“I can kiss you?” He asked again.

“Yeah.” You reassured. “You can.”

Compared to yesterday, the entire world around you started to slow down. Yoongi shifted his weight onto one hand to keep him at bay while he reached up to run his fingers against your cheek before cupping it.

Your breath hitched in your throat as Yoongi crept in to close the gap in between you two. At first you were hesitant in closing your eyes, but just before Yoongi fully reached the flesh of your lips, his flickered to yours. The gaze he gave you was calming and instead of it helping you relax, it only made your more nervous. You could practically hear the sound of your heartbeat ringing through your eyes; probably loud enough for Yoongi to hear.

It felt like hours before you watched Yoongi’s eyelids flutter close and yours followed in suit.

The initial touch of his lips sent a jolt of electricity throughout your body and as his lips molded carefully into yours, you sighed into the kiss. You could almost feel your body grow numb, but was revived back to life as Yoongi’s lips moved shyly against your own.

Your hands were balled into fists on your lap until you gained feeling back in your hands. You blindly reached for his hand and once you found it, he eagerly accepted the invitation to interlock fingers with you.

After what seemed to be forever, the bliss of kissing Yoongi came to an end once he pulled back an inch away from your face. You opened your eyes to find him staring back at you and he chuckled. The sound was music to your ears because along with the short sound of his laughter, he smiled. He still had his hand resting on your cheek and before you could say anything or even exchange your own laughter, he gently tugged at your face to plant another kiss on your lips.

Excitement bubbled inside of your chest all over again and you couldn’t even stop yourself from cracking a smile as you kissed. You liked Yoongi for so long and so damn much that feeling this happy had to be a crime of some sort. And if it was, you were more than ready to accept whatever sentence was given.

♡ rae

#bangtan boys #bts #bts fics #suga fics #suga scenarios #suga angst #suga fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #hello everyone #how u doin #finally updating all yours lol #took me about ten years #eNJOOOOY #yoongz #rae writes

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 6 years ago

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please, do not reblog this

I wish I could tell you the INSANITY of some of the daily rituals at work

but you would pinpoint them, immediately.

they’e not funny, they’re cult-like, invasive, oppressive, and just fucking weird

you get in trouble for not participating, and then have to do ‘emotional check-ins’ because they charge you with ‘hiding your depression from them’... because you didn’t want them to find out and do EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE DOING TO YOU NOW

you know, I don’t care if they find this. maybe they would fire me and I could get out of their awful little contract that BINDS.

imagine, if you will, that every single fucking morning, at 9am exactly everyone has to gather around a table. Some days there are 15, some days closer to 30 people. One person reads the welcome to country, that’s fine.

They turn to the person beside them (either way, it doesn’t matter) and begin. “How are you feeling?” (You cannot answer anything that isn’t a Feeling Word, and if you say Good or Alright, everyone in the room will fucking verbally leap on you. The first day is very fucking confronting).

“What are your goals for the day?” (You have to give something concrete, usually.)

“Who can you check in with?” (Nominate a person).

Then, the asked turns to the person beside them, and asks the questions.

It goes on, and on, and on.

When it ends, do you get to go to work? No.

Then there’s the Quote Bear. Someone is given it, each day, and they have to provide an ‘Inspiring quote’ the next. Which is said verbally, and written on a white board all day long. The bear is given to someone else, to repeat the cycle.

At the end of the day, 5pm, you have to drop everything to come back and do community again.

“How are you feeling?”

“What was your highlight for the day?”

“What will you do for self-care?”

- - -

Of course, if you have training, or a meeting, you have a different set of questions.

You sit down in training or supervision, or in a meeting, or even an emotional fucking check-in that they will not stop invading your privacy with...

“How are you feeling?”

“What do you hope to get out of this training/meeting?”

“Who can you check-in with?”

And at the end:

“How are you feeling?”

“What did you learn/get out of the meeting today?”

“What will you do for self-care?”

---------------

My current record is having to do this fucking bullshit eight times in the one day.

Morning - Start

Training - x2, Start & End

Meeting - x2, Start & End

Meeting/Emotional Check-In (they don’t do with anyone else, but they have a thing about pretending to be ‘fixing’ your broken self even though you were fine until they started this shit) - x2, Start & End

Evening - End

--------------

They don’t like if you joke about it, or give a funny answer.

You can FEEL the anger from the Head Boss in the place. They believe it heart and soul, but a lot of people I have talked to recently go, “Oh yeah, that person’s fucking insane, good luck!”

They have a handful of buzzwords they claim is an organisational foundation or something - emotional intelligence, non-violent communication, growth and change.

You know, buzzwords. It’s all part of a fancy little model called:

Which we have to do refreshers on all the fucking time, and have to show evidence of using it in practice (the community rituals and the bear, and we also have to do that with clients too).

Then every few years, this ‘evidence’ is shown to some american university, and they approve its use or something, and basically the organisation pays a lot more money to be allowed to use the model for more years.

Like, my DUDE... you maybe think we could like, just make our own in Australia? Because the budget takes a hell of a hit just for something most of the workers resent, utterly?

Don’t ask me what this is, but it comes up in their slideshows about it

I don’t get it, it just looks like yoga gone wrong or some sort of advanced karma sutra move.

- - - - -

plus there’s this thing called self

------------------------------------

It’s literally basic shit, anyone would know and understand, and it would be fine if it wasn’t so INVASIVE, and constant.

i mean even at team meetings, one person has to make something on the damn sanc thing, and present it with handouts. everytime.

over and over again.

---------------

and the best bit, I didn’t tell you about the ROCK

So like, in the all staff meetings, some people get a certificate that says, “You rock at

for (list one or more of the 7 commitments)”

And with it, you get... The ROCK

literally.

it’s an actual FUCKING Rock, that gets painted one colour or another (in line with the colour scheme). when you get it, you have to add one (1) thing to it, before it goes to another person.

some put a googly eye on it, some give it a name, some put glitter, and sparkles and shit all over it. it... it really looks like a bunch of preschoolers went all in on craft day. it’s embarrassing.

like, seriously. when i try to explain the whole situation to people, they look at me with this sense of ‘you’re shitting me’

I have pictures, but if I post them, there’s no going back babes.

you know what, fuck it, let ‘em fire me

This is Rock #2. They need a new one for next time. There’s a WHOLE CUPBOARD full of rocks in this office.

-----------------

so that’s some of the bullshit.

and a good reason I hate the whole system.

also it’s been months, literal months and no one thought to teach any of the new staff how to use the very specific computer systems that we have to use for every thing we do. we all had to work it out from team members.

one team leader actually said “We decided not to do training for (system) with new people, because it would be too difficult. We’re thinking we just let their teams ttech them, and maybe do a follow-up sometimes later in the year”

like that’s great for you to say but anytime i take a call, email or breath at a client... I have to document that, and I didn’t know how for a month and a half...

we’re still working out more complex things. it’s all just ‘do whatever’

---------

and the QUOTES my god, some are so fucking annoying

there’s a special emergency quote book in the meeting room for if someone with the bear is away, or forgot...

and the other day, I will never forget this.

the quote was the following:

“working hard for something you don’t care for is called STRESS working hard for something you love is called PASSION”

and THEN head boss goes, “Hmmm, yes, I think we should all take the time this morning to have some self-reflection on that quote. And if you’re feeling stressed, perhaps you need to speak with your Team Leader about whether you are in the right job...”

Like, they always had something to say, but that just... wow.

Delusional.

Also, working hard for something you don’t love is called SURVIVING CAPITALISM

if we poll retail employees, they’d say they’re pretty fucking stressed... but they like to eat, and live in safety...

--------------------

Every five minutes they schedule some check in or just-to-bother-you meeting about something i was already goddamn doing.

Would I have taken this job with free will to turn it down? I think the fuck not.

Did I have a choice? No.

Why? Because the new nonsensical governmental laws surrounding job seeking is insane. If you get offered something, and turn it down for any reason (say, it’s 3 hours from where you live), you get penalised into the ground.

I will bitch about that in an upcoming post.

-----------------------------------------------

Plus everything is so very Hands Off when it comes to telling you what your job Is. Very frustrating considering the complexity of the dual-role I play, especially when I take on other caseloads or roles when others are away lmao.

Let me tell you I have genuinely hoped to be run over by a fucking truck on the way there more than once.

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poetrybird · 7 years ago

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life update: vacation, final grades, planning for next year

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

vacation

i finished my semester on december 11th and then i immediately hopped on a plane and went to visit toronto for a week with my gf and some friends and family! it was sooo much fun, we stayed in an air bnb and went sledding, played in the snow, went to the christmas market, niagara falls, the science center, board game cafes, ate amazing food and just had a nice time overall. it was a great way to start off my winter break and im very thankful for having good people to spend it with. i won’t be posting pictures here but if you follow me on my mainblog @remonts or on my instagram @shumaita then you can see some of my photography.

grades/ end of fall 2017 semester

after i got back, my final grades for the semester were finally uploaded online! out of my four classes i got 3 A’s and one A- which im pretty proud of considering i tried super hard! my GPA only went up from a 3.87 to a 3.88 but it’s better than nothing, esp since any kind of gain is amazing for me at this point (the hardest part is maintaining it/ making it not drop).

i also got an email from my professor about my 17 page paper: she said she loved it and thinks I have a good chance of getting it published to a major journal!!! i am beyond elated that all that hard work resulted in something she thinks is actually insightful and useful to others. ive never written an academic article this long before so im pretty proud of myself, honestly could have cried tears of joy after hearing such kind and supportive feedback. i love what i do as a student. moments like these are what make me truly appreciate my major.

classes in the spring

after winter break im going to be starting my final year of undergrad, since i just have spring and another fall semester before i can graduate. for spring semester ill be taking:

• creative writing advanced workshop

• visual poetry

• 200 lvl lit elective on female protagonists

• editing essentials

as you can see im going to be doing a lot more creative writing and practical work rather than a lot of the research and theory ive been studying the past few semesters. which is good. i need a change, and im excited to start flexing my creative writing muscles again and finally learning how to properly edit stuff. lmao. i feel like this schedule will give me more time to also focus on graduation plans and such since writing based courses are a much different pace than lit analysis courses in regards to the time i usually spend on it and the stress level. not the say that i won’t be anxious and stressed- i definitely will- but atleast i will be doing things that bring me great joy.

plans and goals for next year

• now that i have some time before school starts and the new year begins I want to use this free time to start setting up some healthier habits and things ive been meaning to get around to.

• for one, im going to start eating healthier again. i really let myself go as school got more and more stressful, and ive been not really paying attention to things like sugar and carbs that make me thirsty and gross feeling from over indulging. i just got some new groceries though, to restock the fridge with healthier and yummy options and im feeling very optimistic about it! maybe i can even sort out some kind of meal plan before my new semester starts. i meant to do it earlier but never found the time. something ill also have more time for with my new spring schedule is going to the gymmmmm because i don’t have early ass classes anymore!!!

• i also need to update my bujo and built a better habit of writing in it, as well as organize my photo album. the past year went by so fast and i took a good amount of photos, but not enough and not nearly enough journal entries to go along with it!

• im also going to try to start up a better recreational reading habit before the new year kicks in so i can follow it thru to 2018 and beyond. i want to read atleast 18 books this coming year, not counting my assigned readings for school, which i get a lot of. hopefully this works out bc i feel like ive set the bar at a pretty reachable place! i just miss cozying up with a good book for fun, and not because it has a due date for homework.

• i also reallllly want to find another job in addition to my work study position. i just need more money. tuition is getting harder and harder to pay and i feel like a burden on my family whenever i want to buy something for myself. i think getting a better paying job will make me happier.

that’s all i have to say for the moment (which was a lot, sorry haha). i hope you all do good on your finals and have a wonderful holiday!! please remember to take care of yourself, you’re doing amazing 💕

#my post #studyblr

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sunnysidewrites · 7 years ago

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Soulmate!Taeyang

Requested by anon: Soulmate!au for Taeyang please?? Preferably with the both of you being childhood friends too! Thank you so much!!

hi my little anon this is for you!!! im sorry if its kinda yikes i never like my writing or the product tbh and when i do i feel like it gets overlooked by my other pieces rip @ writers the struggle is rEAL but anyways i hope you enjoyed this!!! also im tearing up on how much notice vigilante!wonwoo is getting thank you guys so so much!!! remember that REQUESTS ARE OPEN READ FAQ AND RULES FIRST SEND THEM INNNN

au where you have a tattoo of what your soulmate is most passionate about

since you were little you had a small cute tattoo on your wrist of a pair of dance tap shoes

but what did you know you were only 4 and only thought “those are pretty shoes!!”

when you entered kindergarten you met fETUS TAEYANG HOW CUTE AWW

“hi i like your tattoo!!!!”

“thanks i’m y/n!!”

“i’m taeyang!!! check out my tattoo my dad said they’re music notes”

he had little musical notes trailing down his forearm and you’re just like wow that’s so beautiful!!

“do you know what these tattoos are for?”

“my dad said it’s what your soulmate is most passionate about (whatever that means LOL),,, so what your soulmate really really likes!!”

how cUTE smol you and tae become little cute friends just like that!!!

even at age 5 tae was so certain and self-assured he loved dancing and singing but not as much as grooving to the beat

on the other hand you were still unsure and wanted to explore a variety of fields

smol 5 year old tae would bust out his moves to you and hE IS JUST TOO!!! ADORABLE IM CRYING

your friendship only strengthened over the years but

alas!!!! you had to separate in middle school darn young love :((

your parents’ jobs made them relocate to another city

but ofc you and tae were determined to continue communicating!!! so you exchanged home phone numbers

y'all are so cute you would talk on the phone for hours but then,,,,

they got more and more infrequent, as he was trying to make a name out of himself by joining dance competitions and basically he got the ball rolling for his career starting at that point

you were lonely and missed talking to your best friend :(((

you were always so jealous of tae’s determination you were just,,, a wandering lost soul

in these dark times you turned to music and found major relief and comfort in soothing calm ballads and upbeat pumping beats

you got interested in music very quickly and decided to take up some music classes

you eventually learned how to play the piano and guitar, which led you to making cOVERS!!!!

you were enjoying it but you felt like there was still something missing

you took music theory and practically fell in love

in fact it pushed you to really analyze music and produce your own

the only job you were able to do was babysit your niece every weekend but at least your aunt was generous about the pay!!!

it still took you f o r ev er to save up for proper equipment but you were able to have a decent system going on

you locked yourself up in your room for who knows how long every single day to familiarize yourself with the new technology and play around with different instruments on the editor

it came to you so naturally that it only took you a week to produce something pretty decent for a rookie

and even in the midst of all of this you constantly think about tae and it influences your work and you practically make songs about him

you wanted to share it for people to hear so you opened up a soundcloud and youtube channel and posted on both

views were steady but a little low in the beginning but a few months in your little producing career it sKYROCKETED

everyone started to listen to your sick beats and mixes you were a dj bUT ALSO WITH THE BEST SINGING VOICE EVER WHAT A DOUBLE THREAT!!!

you became a viral sensation (sensational feeling lMAO ok bye)

at this time you were well into high school probably around your senior year and we all know how senior year can get hectic especially at the beginning

you decided to put your mixing on hiatus to focus on college apps and your classes for the time being

it was a few months in the school year around november when one day the school was buzzing with a little more energy than usual

you asked your friend “what’s the deal with everyone today????”

“uM have you not been paying attention?? there’s a new transfer kid and hE IS THE MOST MAJESTIC THING EVER”

and she goes on and on about his good looks and what a gentleman he is

you’re thinking guys like those are practically nonexistent i’ll have to see it to believe it

you just shrugged it off and walked to your homeroom

and there, folks, is when you couldn’t believe it bUT NOT FOR THE REASONS YOUR FRIEND SAID

“class we have a new student please introduce yourself!!”

“:D i’m blind by tHE ACTUAL SUN hi everyone!!! i’m taeyang i just moved here a few days ago!!”

he catches your eye and yALL JUST DO A DOUBLE TAKE BC

1. YOUR BEST FRIEND GLOED TF UP

2. YOUR BEST FRIEND IS HERE

tae is actually fangirling on the inside and he shines even brighter and actually blinds the entire school

“please have a seat next to the empty desk next to y/n. y/n can you show him around today?”

hAHAHA NERVOUS LAUGHTER “sure,,,, i,,, will be,,, showing taeyang my childhood best friend,,,, around,,, no biggie,,,”

when your homeroom teacher gives you homework time to do you both frantically turn to each other and loudly whisper

“wHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE”

“I JUST MOVED HERE ON SATURDAY”

“yoU DIDN’T TELL ME OR GIVE ME A HEADS UP????”

“i’m sorry!!! things have been so crazy with competitions,,, :(((“ pls doNT LET MY SUN BE SAD

you can’t help but forgive him bc you know better than anyone else how important his career is to him, especially when it comes to dancing

you just brush it off and ask to see his schedule

you guys have a few classes together and plan to meet up at lunch so you can give a proper tour

it’s just like old times and you’re suddenly so nostalgic that you get slightly emotional

you just missed talking to him so much it’s been years since you picked up the phone and had a conversation with him

little did you know, he feels the exact same way

the way your arms brush across each other makes him go just a little crazy

it takes literally no time for him to get adjusted like by the end of the week he’s already got his own crew and is involved in a few clubs

ofc he is one of the officers in the dance club

he’s drastically improved his dancing skills to the point where he can singlehandedly make his own choreo

let’s just say it gets LIT AT RALLIES unlike my school smh

dance club meets pretty often, as the students wanna perfect every single dance they do

so basically multiply taeyang by 15

they’re amazing for a reason

you wanted to walk home with taeyang one day and stopped by one of their practices near closing time

as you near the door you hear some reaaaally familiar music

“hEY WAIT THATS MY SONG OMG!!!”

you watch through the classroom window and the dance team is busting out them moves

but all your eyes see is taeyang, front and center

not only does he look cool and charismatic but he looks happy doing what he loves

you clutch your backpack strap tighter and internally squeal legit your best friend is so hot rn

when’s he not tho??? anyway

when they finish the dance you hear him say “god this person who remixes these is so cool i love their works i would love to meet them”

and then he takes notice of you and dOES THIS CUTE AF LITTLE WAVE IM WEAK

one day at lunch he tells you about an upcoming competition he’s about to compete in

he actually got in the final round so he’s like

“!!!!!! if my team wins we win a scholarship!!!!!”

and you’re both freaking out and ofc you’re gonna go to support him

competition day rolls around soon and you’re in the bleachers overseeing everyone

you admit everyone is majorly talented but you know tae’s team has it in the bag if it has tae in it let’s be real here

when his team finally gets introduced they get into position

AND YOU CAN’T BELIEVE IT BUT YOUR SONG IS PLAYING AGAIN!!!

it’s blasting in the speakers for everyone to listen to and you’re so emotional rn

tae executes his dance as flawlessly as ever and you’re so proud of knowing someone like him

and that’s when you realize

everything you know about tae and his dancing

from the way he pulls all nighters for a new choreo to how much he glows when he’s out on the floor

you lift up your sleeve and stare at the shoes

“oh my god” you whisper

the results come in and ofc hE WINS YESSSS

tae’s team is asked to do a quick thank you speech and when it’s tae’s turn to speak you’re anticipating on what he’s going to say

“thank you to all my friends and family, esp my parents who have been supporting me the entire way!!! and of course my best friend who came all the way to watch me today i love you!!! :DDDDDD”

HES RADIATING SO MUCH HAPPINESS THE ACTUAL SUN

BUT YOU ARE A VERY CLOSE SECOND BC ALL YOU HEARD WERE THOSE LAST THREE WORDS

you know tae to be very touchy and affectionate

but that was actually the very first time he’s ever said that to you, whether it be platonically or romantically

and you hadn’t realized that you wanted it to be the latter until that moment

you’re in love with your best friend

as the crowd files out you step down the bleachers and sprint to him

he’s carrying the trophy in his right hand but when he sees you advancing towards him he quickly shoves it to the person closest to him LOL

AND HE OPENS HIS ARMS FOR YOU AWWW OFNNFHFJNFN

you embrace in a tight tight lung crushing hug

“i love you too soulmate”

and he’s like wAIT A MINUTE

and he pulls back to look at you

“ok we’re gonna get back to what you said bUT SOULMATE???? MUSIC????”

“i kinda produced the song you just danced to??? surprise!!!!!”

and he’s just wHAT THE ACTUAL

“you’re – you’re actually – how – when-”

you just giggle at how dumbfounded he is

and you take his face in both hands and plant a kiss on him AW SCUTE SCUTE

his hands tighten around your waist and you’re both smiling so much on each other’s lips

THAT IS THE BIRTH OF THE CUTEST GREASIEST RELATIONSHIP WHAT A COUPLE

#my post #sf9 #sf9 taeyang #taeyang #sf9 imagines #sf9 scenarios #sf9 headcanons #sf9 au #taeyang imagines #taeyang scenarios #taeyang headcanons #taeyang au #soulmate au #soulmate!taeyang

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stonefreeak · 8 years ago

Note

Will Depa Billaba ever make an appearance? She and Obi-Wan would get along

I also had an ask about Depa from a logged-in user—they had a Depa icon, that’s why I remember—which is now gone. :I Both of these asks actually came just when I was starting to write this ficlet, but since it’s taken me like TWO MONTHS to finish, I can’t exactly say that “oh wow, these came at such a convenient time! :D” because the two months makes that sound a bit ridiculous, lmao!

Anyway, YES. Finally finished this ficlet. I have no idea why it took me so long, I even cut off the beginning of it so I could at least get something posted (which is why there’s a ficlet with nothing but Obi-Wan meditating. that was actually supposed to be a lead-in to this ficlet, hahaha).

Uni is a time and energy thief and pls help me. :’I

ANYWAY, enough ramblings from me, I hope y’all enjoy the update!

“Barefoot, Master Kenobi?”

The amused voice cuts through Obi-Wan’s meditation, and he surfaces quickly. He opens his eyes and finds himself face-to-face with Depa Billaba, a faint smile on her face.

“Master Billaba,” he says as a way of greeting, keeping his face placid. “Grass against bare feet is excellent for meditation, I’ll have you know. It helps ground me when I stretch my mind out… and it tickles quite comfortably.”

They look at each other for a long moment, both faces serene. It’s Depa who breaks out into a smile and lets out a chortle first, though Obi-Wan quickly follows.

“As you say,” she says, voice full of mirth, before she too removes boots and socks to sit down next to him.

They don’t say anything for a few moments, instead basking in the peace of the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

It’s Depa who breaks the silence. “You’ve been busy, or so I’ve heard, Chancellor Kenobi. How many committees to investigate and possibly repeal laws have you instigated now?”

Obi-Wan looks at her and winces at her choice of title. He far prefers it when his fellow Jedi call him by his name or his Jedi titles. She just gives him a wry smile and raises an eyebrow.

“… Twenty-three,” he admits with a sigh. It’s been quite a few already, and most likely more to come. It feels like every day he finds more and more worrisome legislation.

“Out of those twenty-three, in how many cases have you failed to convince the committee to bring it up for a repeal vote?”

“… None.” Obi-Wan looks away. The Negotiator indeed.

“And on that note, how many have failed the vote to repeal the law?”

“One.”

Depa looks genuinely surprised. “Oh really? What was that one about?”

“It was an utterly ridiculous law that allows members of the Republic Senate to break any traffic law on any Republic world without consequence.” Obi-Wan sighs again and runs a hand through his hair. “Why would you ever legislate such a thing?” Legislations that allow Senators to circumvent Republic laws… No, he doesn’t like it at all.

“That’s ridiculous.” Depa pushes some hair out of her face, eyebrows knitting together and mouth turning down. “Though I’ll admit I’m not surprised they didn’t repeal it.”

“Neither am I. Disappointed? Absolutely. Surprised? Not at all.” Obi-Wan shakes his head. There is no doubt that there is corruption in the Senate. It is so very clear that it no longer serves the people of the Republic, but rather the Senators themselves.

Change will be slow in the coming, but he will work for it. Things must change if there’s to be any hope for peace in the galaxy and a functional Republic. Obi-Wan knows his duty.

“So, what does your schedule look like for the next week, Chancellor,” Depa says, breaking Obi-Wan’s train of thought, with a small smirk on her lips.

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes at her, but cannot stop the way his mouth twitches towards a smile.

“Tomorrow I have almost nothing scheduled except for paperwork, paperwork and some more paperwork. I’ll spend the day at the Chancellor’s office, unless an emergency comes in.” He falls silent for a brief moment, then looks at Depa slyly. “Considering Anakin is only shipping out tomorrow, that looks unlikely.”

Depa throws her head back and laughs, hand coming up to cover her mouth. She gently shoves him in jest as they laugh.

“To return to your question” he continues, the smile refusing to leave his lips, “I also have a meeting with the committee looking over Republic Legislation 34-X5-32DL—it’s about fuel standards in public freight ships—because they had some questions for me regarding the report I wrote on it. Then on Centaxday it’s more paperwork and negotiations with the forty-five planets who wish to return to the republic.”

“Wait,” Depa stops him, “you mean another forty-five beyond the first ten?”

Obi-Wan nods. “Yes, exactly. Since the negotiations with the first ten were ultimately successful, another forty-five have shown interest in returning.”

“Your work, I suppose?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Now, I wouldn’t say that—”

“So it was.” She nods resolutely. “Good to know. Do go on, Obi-Wan.”

He huffs a small laugh and shakes his head at her. If she wants to think so… well, he can’t stop her. He doesn’t think it’s really thanks to him, though he might have held the Senate’s more… disagreeable Senators in check.

“Taungsday is dedicated to the war effort, and in trying to end the war in general. Which means trying to organise the fleets and getting an update from Anakin and Ahsoka, as well as from Cody and Admiral Yularen… And I’ll be reaching out to the Separatist Senate again in hopes of starting a peace process.” He pauses and considers that for a second. “You know, Depa? I rather think someone is trying to deliberately stop that from happening.”

She looks at him gravely. “Likely someone who benefits from the war, then.”

“Likely,” he agrees with a nod.

They sit in silence for a while before Obi-Wan gently shakes his head.

“On Zhellday I have a meeting with a group of Senators who wish to discuss some of their ’worries’ about my work ethic, apparently” he continues. “After that it’s the last day of the week, so more Council work, unless they cancel it again,” he says with a smile and a small shrug.

“The following week is much of the same. Many meetings, Council work combined and work as a General in between the large piles of paperwork I must get through…” He strokes his beard in contemplation. “I do have a meeting with Senators Biwa, Himesh, Ha’han-ash and Chuchi before lunch and a meeting with Senator Organa during the afternoon of the following Zhellday. Occasionally I have meetings booked in without actually knowing what they’re about. They get booked in long in advance since the meeting spots are limited, and I assume the Senators hope they’ll think of something before the meeting.” He rolls his eyes. Either the Senators are trying to catch him out, which doesn’t sound like Chuchi, Ha’han-ash or Bail, or they don’t know what they want to speak with him about… though that doesn’t sound like them either.

It is possible that it’s something important and possibly in need of secrecy, of course.

“Sounds like you have quite the busy schedule.” Depa’s voice brings him out of his thoughts.

Obi-Wan doesn’t look at her, but he’s rather sure she’s wearing the same expression he’s caught on Mace and Yoda’s faces a few times: worry.

“Well, let’s just say I wasn’t wholly surprised that the Council decided to do this little coup of getting me a day off for nothing but meditation, saberwork and relaxing.”

They share another smile, before a comfortable silence descends.

Obi-Wan returns to his meditation, clears his head and reaches for the Force. It wraps around him like a blanket. It’s not as warm or as easy as he remembers from his childhood—the Force has grown darker and harder to connect to as deeply as he used to over the years—especially since the war started.

~~~~

When Obi-Wan surfaces from meditation, he finds that Depa is no longer meditating either. She looks troubled, and her shoulders slump.

“How are you, Depa?” He doesn’t want to pry; if she doesn’t want to talk, he won’t push her. But perhaps it would do her good to talk to someone besides the mind healers.

“I’m… better.” She sighs and bites her lip momentarily before she lets her face smooth out again. “I’m having trouble accepting what happened. Or… no, not accepting. I have trouble forgiving myself for it.”

Obi-Wan says nothing, but gently places a hand on her shoulder, lightly enough that she could easily shake it off. She leans into him instead, and he wraps his arm around her shoulders.

“We speak of Falling as if it’s so easy. An accident, almost. But I know… I know it’s a choice.”

Obi-Wan can feel tension practically radiating off her.

“I was losing my men at such a rapid rate, and I felt powerless to stop it. I thought… I thought if I was just stronger, if I just had more power, I could stop Grievous, and save them. So I made my choice: I stepped into the Dark, channeled the Force through my fear and my wish to protect my men, and I Fell.”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I chose to Fall, I chose to turn my back on the Light completely. That power, Obi-Wan, it was overwhelming. It was like stepping right into the middle of the rushing river.” She takes another deep breath and releases it slowly. “I understand why the Jedi have chosen to not channel the Force through emotions, even though we could channel the Light through joy, love, or other positive ones. If you start channeling through one emotion, it is so easy to slide into channeling through another. Like Master Yoda says, fear leads to anger…”

She opens her eyes again and her face hardens for a brief moment. “I lost myself in a feedback loop. The more powerful I became, the stronger my anger became, and the stronger my anger was… You understand.”

“I do,” he whispers.

“I lost my sister on Geonosis, right when the war started.” Depa stares at the water. “She was the last of my blood family. But Mace has long been like a father to me, and I love him…” She pauses for a moment, collecting herself. “But there on Harun Kal, on his home planet… It didn’t matter. I lost myself to my anger and fear, not to mention that seeing him made me feel ashamed. So I… I tried to prove myself. Prove how strong the Darkside made me.”

She laughs, watery and bitter. Obi-Wan gently squeezes her shoulder, and she leans further into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

“There is no denying that he’s a more skilled duellist than I am. I was overpowering him only because of the strength the Dark gave me, and because he was on the defensive. He was trying not to hurt me, you know… But I was trying to hurt him.”

“Depa…” Obi-Wan isn’t sure what to say. It’s too sincere, too raw.

“It’s alright. I’m still talking to the mind healers. I’m… getting better. And they always remind me that I stopped, that I chose to come back.” She snorts. “That’s what caused the coma, you know? Mace was getting desperate, I was pressing the advantage and he knew the longer the fight wore on, the greater the risk either one of us would get killed. So he… He Force pushed me. He was just planning to get some distance between us.”

“So what went wrong?” Obi-Wan glances down at her.

“I stopped. Mid-attack. I stopped because I chose differently. I reigned myself in, and stopped, just as the Force push came. So I went flying into a cliffside.” She closes her eyes. “You know the rest.”

As a Councillor, Obi-Wan does know what happened. Mace brought Depa back to Coruscant, hurt and unconscious. The knowledge that she Fell is private, known only by the Council and the mind healers she started seeing after she woke up from her coma.

“He feels guilty, you know. That he pushed you, I mean,” Obi-Wan murmurs.

“I know. He shouldn’t. What choice did he have? What choice did I give him?”

“You didn’t give him a choice. But he still faced one very similar to the one you faced on Harun Kal: he could keep faith in that he would hold out long enough for you to come back to him, or he could try to change the situation to his advantage.”

“Oh…” Depa says softly. “I did know help was coming, but I… lost faith that it would reach us quickly enough. So I acted—to defend my men.”

“Yes, you did.” Obi-Wan squeezes her shoulder gently and rests his cheek against her hair. “The one most hurt by your actions was Mace. He’s already forgiven you, and carries his own guilt. Perhaps… Perhaps you’ll find it in you to forgive yourself, if you can make him do the same?”

Silence descends. Obi-Wan wonders if he crossed a line, said something he should not have. He’s no mind healer, this is not his area of expertise.

“Perhaps you’re right. Thank you, Obi-Wan,” Depa finally says.

“You’re welcome, Depa.”

A comfortable silence takes over for a brief moment, before Depa lets out a watery chuckle and straightens. Obi-Wan lets his arm fall from her shoulder and places both his hands in his lap instead.

“You’ve grown so wise. What ever did happen to that fiery little Padawan who rushed into things before he thought them through, hmm?” Mirth has returned to Depa’s voice.

Obi-Wan huffs out a laugh. “He grew up, as all children do—sooner or later.”

“I believe Qui-Gon would be very proud of you, you know…” She pauses and turns to him with a smile on her lips. “Even if you are on the High Council.”

They share a laugh at the thought. Oh yes, Qui-Gon would most likely have a thing or two to say about that.

“Thank you, Depa…”

They share a smile, and peace and calm reign in the Room of a Thousand Fountains once more.

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

#Supreme Chancellor Obi Wan Kenobi #my writing #Obi Wan Kenobi #Depa Billaba #star wars #this is where I really start doing my own lovely mix of legends and canon #also fuck the canon timeline #no one thought very much about that anyway #so #I'm gonna use one that makes more sense #lol #I got an ask!#Anonymous

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