#sch sucks
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Delinquency for life
My civics tutor said an iconic quote today.
"Statistically speaking, Thursdays have the most number of absences."
It's only cuz thursdays are the longest days, and assest days lol. It's why me and my friend @whichawayay and i congratulate each other when we turn up to school. It's fucking hilarious when I get told "Omg you turned up to sch tdy! Good job."
And this boy in my class said ditching school on thurs shouldn't require mcs or paernts letters, cuz the civics tutor have a hard time on friday since the mc and parent letter piles are taller than our chem equilibrium notes lmaoo.
We laughed so hard. I'm in a class of rulebreakers, and I love them for it.
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Me vs FF14
I've been raising the levels on my DPS-jobs (trying to get them all to fifty), and so I've been using the leveling-queue.
(Ifrit is still fucking bullshit and shouldn't fucking be there)
Had a WHM get completely lost in a dungeon, and had to talk them through how to get to us.
Saw another DPS with some kind of "go tank and pull everything"-chat macro, which... is kind of none of their fucking business as a DPS? The ones deciding on how fast and hard we should go are the tank and healer who are the ones making sure we don't fucking wipe. The fucking disrespect.
A tank actually used their Limit-Break during the final boss-fight. Against a boss that does basically fuck-all damage. Had to take a moment after that dungeon to stare at a wall, because what the fuck.
On a not-actually related note to that last one, I've now mapped the "target-priority"-button to a hotkey, so I can tell people to not bother with targeting the adds when they don't need to.
I've also created a few chat-macros of my own for things like "sound alert telling the tank to set tank-stance" and "basic rules a tank should know" which are as follow:
"Pull until your healer asks you to stop"
"Never stop using your AOE"
"Don't move around unless you have to"
The reasons for the first is that the tank sets the tempo of the dungeon, and some tanks are scared of wiping. Wipes happen. Inattention, greed, random chance.
Your job is to go as fast as you can, and to try and not-die when everything catches up to you, and the one who gets veto on how you do that? Is the healer. So pull as much as you can, and if you wipe or your healer complains? Slow down.
(Everyone else can shut their fucking mouths about it.)
The second one is there because I kept seeing tanks who lost the fucking aggro, despite having tank-stance active. And this is usually because they either don't use their AOE-skill (probably not helped by the novice-tutorial shit telling tanks to "stop using" AOE once a target is "captured" which is bullshit and bad math), or they're not standing in a place where they actually hit the enemies.
But if it's the latter, then they can usually be caught by the tank by just having the targeted sucker run into the tank's AOE-range. Which only works as long as the tank keeps using the AOE.
(The math in this case is: there aren't really a single-target skill that does more than 300~ dmg. Even the shit AOE-skills do 100. So up against three targets? AOE is just more DPS. And you should be up against groups of like... six or more.)
The third and final bit was added specifically for that one tank who thought he was a fucking bard and was running back and forth like an idiot.
There are a few different reasons for it though.
First is that if the tank stands in one place? Everyone else can move so that they don't get hit by things like non-telegraphed cleave-attacks.
Second is that if the tank doesn't move? Then neither does the enemies, so it's a lot easier for the DPS to do their positionals correctly (ie, "hit from behind" etc).
Third is that if reinforcement shows up? The non-tanks can just move to stand behind the tank, forcing the new arrivals to go through the tank first (at which point the tank's AOE would pick them up).
So. Those are my three "tank 101"-macros.
Since I'm suddenly on the subject. Added tank-lesson for anyone wanting to try it is that ranged mobs? They have to attack through line-of-sight. So running behind a corner before you stop will force ranged-mobs into AOE-range.
However, it'll also break your healer's line-of-sight though, so they won't be able to heal you until they can catch up. Be warned.
(An easier option is often to just run past their base-range until they mass, and then run back to them.)
Speaking of fun buttons, I also found out that the "confirm"-button actually lets you select nearby objects. So if you bind it to a convenient button and double-press, you don't have to worry about people blocking your mouse-clicks.
#i've also finally crafted one of those ''select class''-macro hotbars. which is cool. but it has to be closed BEFORE pvp#which is annoying. i've also poked at pvp a little bit more and learned... that i still very much suck at it#so far my preferences are MNK>WHM>SCH>WAR#with WAR i just ''ran in -> instantly died''. with SCH i was taking potshots at people (and getting killed)#with WHM i got a charge-attack which is hilariously absurd. and MNK just lets me smack people.#i can't say i'm any good at playing MNK in pvp. but it feels like you HAVE to rush in and start wailing away at them. even if you die.#and that's kind of fun. in its own way. kind of curious about what RDM and BLM will be like once i unlock those though.#laughing#ff14#video games#personal stuff
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i had fun with siver and i'll probably get her thru the rest of the msq eventually but mfw i get to see my catboy again 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
#this glam sucks bc Everyone uses this coat but i trial-by-fire switched to sch near the end of endwalker patches#bc i got too used to us having tank/healer insta q and having to wait 10+ mins as rdm sucked shit#but i have like no good healer glam pieces. Lol (dies
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bought trinkets at the flea market now I'm listening to one d and editing pics for the photog insta. girl who is going to be okay probably
#i need to be reined in or else i buy prints from artist stalls like it's my job#also got hockey sticker pack from the pharmacy and they all sucked (I got m*rk sch**f*l*) except for sharks logo and lt in vegas gear waaa#i just really need hockey to come back like. it's dire#g txt#love pretending i wasn't bawling n catastrophizing less than forty eight hours ago
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I remember healing Rabanastre just to get the stupid healer coat it was so sososo fun and I got it at my first try I need to heal more raids once I resub and install ffxiv...
#one part of me wants to make marcella in ffxiv and play with her#i was decent at whm but i want to learn sch as well even i sucked at it
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ok thats enough being awake im gonna go lie down & think of sad &/or horny hildemet scenarios & hopefully sleep
#ffposting#that wasnt nearly enough sleep is the thing. i just woke up to do my two roulettes i hadnt done yet#im really liking ast so far. though im only lvl 60... excited to see where it goes#smn is a delight i love playing smn. genuinely. blm i just unlocked something so very scary but it seems... manageable.. not too bad...#i just suck at remembering rotations but ill get it right eventually. that one person from that one raid believes in me#& sch. i really need to actually learn it i feel like i have like four or five spells i never use bc they have names i mix up#& idk what they do really. bc i forget to read that outside of combat#i want to get good enough at sch thta i queue for it instead of smn so i can actually get faster pops#i queued as sch for some time but im a little scared now im lvl 70. what if i do badly & they kill me in front of everyone#oh well Um. !! hildemet are going on a trip to garlemald to check on hildes parents & likely kill them. click like if u agree
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@graymer i miss you
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Read any good Jalex lately? I think I’ve read everything there is
I just started a tag for this yesterday actually
#I’ve only read one (1) fic since I started it#I don’t read a lot#especially lately#I get sucked into fics and don’t do anything until I finish them#and I got work and school and school and work and work and school and sch#neon answers#neon reads
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gon start this mf off right!
drunk delusions 🔄
everybody knew that when it came to going out ony wasn’t the type. he enjoyed chilling at home or occasionally going to a party to chop it up and smoke with his friends, but as far as going to the club weeks after his birthday for a “belated birthday bash” ony didn’t care for it. nonetheless, the poor man was dragged out of the house by his friends and pushed out by his girlfriend.
you loved your man with your whole heart, but when you saw how excited connie and eren were when they told you their plans you couldn’t help but join in and help them get your homebody boyfriend out the house.
“please ma don’t let these niggas do this t’me” ony groaned, the outfit you picked sat handsomely on his body as he stood in front of you on the couch. you looked up from your phone, a small chuckle leaving your lips as you took in the pouty look your boyfriend carried. “they treating you to a night out papa, be nice”. ony sucked his teeth, pulling you up from the couch so he could stand with his arms around your waist. you instinctively wrapped yours around his neck, letting him rest his chin on your shoulder as he mumbled to you. “ion wanna be nice, i wanna stay wit my baby”
the sound of a roaring engine followed by many beeps of the horn took both of your attention. a smile growing on your face as a loud groan left ony’s throat. “time t’go!” you squealed, removing his hands from your waist before you wrapped a small hand around his wrist and walked him towards the door. as you opened it the sound of the car grew louder and clearer, ony’s annoyance only growing as he looked at his ignorant friends in the car. eren was in the drivers seat, the passenger door wide open for your boyfriend to enter as yelena stood outside the car. before either of you could speak your attention was snatched by the sight of connie popping out the sunroof, two bottles already in his hands as he rapped along to hellcats & trackhawks by lil durk. “i take ha ass off, gimme dem tiddies back bitchhhh! let em loose manita i got ten blunts rolled and enough liquor to flood a house. we goin crazy t’nightttt!”
ony instantly looked towards you, silently begging you to let him stay but you only replied with a happy smile. “have fun!”
what ony expected was to be in some lowkey club, probably sitting at the bar by himself while his friends got drunk off their asses and forgot all about him, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. as soon as they got there connie let ony know that he cannot leave the bar until he finished each of the shots his friends bought him. yelena buying him two shots of tito’s while eren bought a shot each of espolòn and lunazul. connie did the same, smirking as he watched his best friend down the different drinks before dragging him towards the booth he paid for.
“sit down and drink up!” yelena yelled, lightly pushing her friend towards the booth where many other bottles of alcohol as well a bunch of wrapped gifts sat. ony’s eyes widened at the sight in front of him, hidden happiness bubbling in his stomach as a small smirk spread towards his lips. “y’all gon have me crawling outta here”
and they nearly did. all it took was a couple hours and your usual lowkey, mean-faced boyfriend was outside with his friends surrounding him, his head spinning as he leaned on the wall for support.
“ony m’not finna call her for some bs like that” eren said, his eyes low and red from the many blunts they smoked as he gave his friend a lazy expression. ony didn’t pay his words any mind, repeatedly patting his pockets in search for his phone as he mumbled to himself. “ima call her then. niggas think i’m pussy so ima have t’handle my business” connie laughed at the sight of his friend, all a guy did was bump into him without saying anything. if the regular ony was here he probably wouldn’t even have cared, but the regular ony wasn’t here. the man before him tonight was the same guy that connie remembered going to middle school and starting high school with. the hotheaded guy that had no problem beating someone up for something as simple as brushing shoulders with him without an apology. “i got your phone right here” connie mumbled, ignoring the warning looks his other friends gave him as he watched his friend look for your contact name.
you were resting comfortably on the couch face deep in your favorite book. your cami top riding up your stomach as you reached for your wine on the table. before your fingers could meet the glass the sound of your ringtone took your attention. your eyes widened at the sight of your boyfriends contact photo. “hope he alright” you mumbled as you answered the call. “hello?” a relaxed sigh left his lips at the sound of your pretty voice reaching his ears. “mama? s’this you?” a small smirk made its way to your lips as the sound of his deep, slurred speech, you could tell he was absolutely fucked up. “s’me papa, you okay?” ony shook his head, moving off the wall as an upset look grew on his face. “m’not okay…not okay at all princess. smbody gotta get fucked up n i need ya t’come ova hurr wit my gun”
a loud chuckle escaped your lips at his words, your body already moving towards your room so you can grab your keys and one of ony's hoodies. connie’s voice began to come through the phone, his words also a little slurred since he was drinking too. “hey sis, call sasha t’come bring mine too, he not fightin alone” you rolled your eyes at the sound of your friends voice. connie was nearly just as fucked up as your boyfriend. “yea con i’ll call her”
on the way to the club you picked up sasha so she could drive connie and the rest of your friends home while you got ony since they lived closer to her than to you. as the two of you approached the club you were almost immediately met with the sight of your friends surrounding ony at the wall. “alright yall let’s go!” sasha yelled, an attitude rushing through her body as she stood in her tank top and pajama pants. connie turned around at the sound of her voice, a dopey smile crawling on his face as he looked her up and down. “hi mami, i missed you so muchhhh” as he spoke, his hands moved closer and closer to her waist, but sasha quickly slapped them away. pointing to the car for him and his friends to enter. “get in the car so i can get y’all home and go the fuck t’bed”
as the three of them began to follow her to the car you made your way to your handsome boyfriend leaning on the wall. “ready t’go pa? you had fun?” at the sound of your voice ony lifted his head, but his expression quickly went from excited to confused as he got a look at who was talking. “who you? where my girl at?” now you knew you looked at little different from usual, your naturally curly hair pressed to perfection in a messy ponytail, your glasses sitting nicely on your nose, ony's hoodie zipped just below where your cami top ended. stoping just above your stomach so your piercing showed and your short shorts that you liked to wear to sleep. you were completely ready for bed, but it’s not like this was new to your boyfriend so why didn’t he notice you?
“s’me baby, here to take you home” you said, moving your hand towards his wrist so you can lightly grab him. ony saw this and moved immediately, shaking his head as he looked around you as if someone were watching. “miss you gotta get back. my girl crazy furreal nd ion want her t’knock you out” you had to cover your mouth with your hand at this, a giggle trying to force it’s way out as you looked at the fear and confusion on your drunk boyfriend's face. even though you were a little tired you couldn’t help but feed into his delusions right now, a smirk on your face as you took advantage of his current state. “she told me t’come get you papa, didn’t want you attacking an uber driver” you spoke in a sultry tone, your glossy lips taking his attention as he licked at his brown ones. ony stared down at you with low, glossy eyes, shaking his head slightly as he spoke. “nah she wouldn’t do that, lemme call her and check”
as you thought your fun was coming to an end, you began to move towards the man to take a peak at his phone. the screen on your contact before he clicked call and put it to his ear. “can you back up some? ion want her to pull up and see you all in my face like this” as ony spoke you could see the growing irritation in his eyes, his head slightly shaking as he looked down at the ground. he completely missed the part where you lifted the phone in your hand and answered the call, moving away like he said as you pulled your hood over your head. when gave him a small “hello?” ony’s face lit up, the sound of your voice making a smile bloom on his face as he spoke to the woman he’s longing to see. “mama? baby where r'you?” the slight slur of his speech made a smile appear on your face. “coming, why?” ony wasted no time ratting you out to yourself, his eyes briefly scanning you before going back towards the ground.
“this girl tryna get me in the car wit her, sayin sum bout you sending her t’get me. she keep calling me papa n shit too like im her nigga or sum, but im YOUR nigga and i know you wouldn’t send no girl ion know t’come pick me up." your smile grew at his words, a giggle almost sneaking past your lips as you turned around to see his eyes still trained on the ground. "what she look like baby?" you listened to the groan your man let out in the receiver, your back still turned to him you heard him suck his teeth. "ion wanna be starin at her ma, i only stare at you" a small whine left his lips as he spoke, his softer side slowing sneaking to the surface as he listened to your pretty voice come through his phone.
"its okay baby, i need you to look so i can talk to her when i get there, kay?" ony nodded his head, phone still at his ear as he lifted his head and studied the woman in front of him. "aight, she got on a lil white shirt under a grey hoodie n some shorts" he said quickly before turning back towards the ground. you rolled your eyes at this, his loyalty to you never faltering even in his crossfaded state. "what else baby? what she look like?" a loud groan left his lips at your persistence. 'should've just got in the car wit sasha' he thought as he looked back up at you. this time you were facing him. too intoxicated to register the phone at your ear, he looked you over a second time.
"damn" he mumbled at the sight of your pretty face, the diamond stud on your nose shining a little from the streetlight as you pulled your hood down and gave him a kind smile. "sh-she got the same piercings you got, got sum tattoos on her stomach and arms too. her hair up in a ponytail and she got glasses on." as he stared you down, ony couldn't help the twitching going on in his pants. his body betraying him as he took in each go your pretty features. "i can't look at her no more mama she keep lookin at me. can you hurry fore she get me?" you sighed as you watched him return his gaze to the ground, deciding that your poor boyfriend has had enough of your games. "kk im on the way"
you hung up the phone before ony could reply, moving towards him on the wall. "what she say?" he didn't move an inch as he replied, knowing that the sight of you would make him fold. "said she on the way to talk t'you" as he looked at the ground ony couldn't help but notice the anklet you had on your left foot. it looked wildly identical to the one he bought you. the gold complimenting your brown skin perfectly as the diamond plated "o" sat perfectly in the middle. "the fuck you get that?" he mumbled, but since you were so close you heard him. a smile crept on your lips as you lifted his head towards you. "my man bought it f'me and if he gets it together and lets me take him home he might be able to see it dangling by his face soon."
ony's eyes widened in realization, everything becoming much clearer to him now that you were so close. in no time he was on you, attacking your face with kisses as his hands quickly found a home on top of your ass. "easy big boy, if you keep leaning on me like that we both gon fall." he mumbled a small "srry" as he moved back from you a little. "m'fucked up mama you gotta get m'outta here." the two of you laughed as you led him to the car, your fingers intwined as he shuffled his feet behind you. ony couldn't help but admire the way your ass moved in your shorts, the thick, fuzzy fabric moving fluently as he followed each jiggle with low eyes. once again his body reacted to you, but this time his gaze didn't move. ony only licked his lips, stopping in his tracks as he pulled you back towards him.
"cmon papa we gotta goooo" you whined, your tired state making your eyes lower and your voice soften as you looked up at him with confusion written on your face. ony ignored this, sliding his wide hands back on the curve of your ass, this time squeezing it through the soft fabric of your shorts. "y'gon gimme some when we get back?" as he spoke you could feel him hardening through his black jeans, the fabric doing almost nothing to conceal his large print from the world. a small smirk was dancing on his lips, the gold grills on his canines peaking at you as he licked at his bottom lip. you couldn't stop your arousal from growing, his body having the same affect on you as you felt butterflies grow in your stomach. "if you be a good boy in the car i might be able to work sum out"
ony's eyes widened in excitement at the thought of getting what he wanted, his hands tightening on your ass as he leaned down to leave a sloppy kiss on your lips. regardless of the state he's in ony always found a way to kiss you in just the way that'll have you bending to his will. your thighs rubbed together as you tried to keep your horniness at bay. before you could deepen the kiss further he moved his face back from you. his sly smirk never leaving him as he finally let go of you. "m'always a good boy when it come to making my girl nut on this di-" your hand instantly covered his mouth, not letting any more dirty words fall as you cut him off. "boy you better watch your mouth, we still in public." you could tell he was smiling just by the look in his eyes, a smile also sneaking past your lips as you let him go and opened the passenger door for him. "cmon birthday boy, lemme get you home."
finally, he listened to you. his much larger figure moving towards the door before he made himself comfortable in the passenger seat. there was nothing but your later activities on his mind as he let you close his door with a dazed grin on his face. you rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath before making your way to the other side of the car. as you entered you noticed your boyfriend already knocked out in his seat, his lips upturned in a small smile as his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. you couldn't stop yourself from snapping a few pictures before starting the car, giggling to yourself as you began your journey back home.
"somebody can't hold their liquor"
#onyankopon x black reader#aot x black reader#aot onyankopon#onyankopon x reader#onyankopon x black!reader#aot smut#onyankopon smut#aot onyankopon x black reader#onyankopon x black y/n#aot onyankopon x black!reader#aot onyankopon x black y/n#aot onyankopon smut
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heres what i settled on! i am once again having a Time with weights but other than that its Pretty Much Perfect. the lil empty spot in the back is for a tail, of course!
astral silk doublet, seventh hell jacket (stb blm af), orator jacket (stb sch af), healers robe (arr whm af)
im doing a little gear mashup for unikko, mostly just adding a lot of bits and pieces to the astral silk doublet which is his like 'main' chestpiece rn
the difficult part is that
i really want to give him a gun (from the neo-ishgardian fending/etc chests)
with the problem being that he Really should Not have a gun
#ffxiv mods#14 crimes#modding#unikko the bunny#i would love it if there were summoner af gear i could have pulled stuff from but unfortunately all of their af gear sucks ass#or if there were 10 years worth of pictomancer af gear to pick bits and pieces from#picto is what i tried to evoke w the sch ink bottle and pens tbh lol#also i recently saw someone comlpain that the new treasure dungeon material (?) 'scientists' coat or whatver was too busy and i was like#your opinion is valid but that could never be me. i love when there is a lot of Things
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🤔 Admittedly I was a little disappointed by the reveal (but certainly not surprised the foreshadowing was heavy in this episode lol), but not actually against how Beth (and Will) seem to be playing with it thus far- which is to say that I do think it has a lot of potential, and I suspect there's more to what we're seeing).
;) Big ol' ramble below
Mostly the theory has turned me off until now (at least insofar as I've witnessed it transpire in the fandom at large) because it struck me as so painfully ironic to see Trudy, a 1950s housewife, struggle to exist under the system that she's in, fail to fit the mold assigned to her, and be denied her personhood very literally for it (this being ironic insofar as how it mimics how she would have been treated back then). This and because frankly I just think she's a lot less interesting if she's fully a robot LOL, but I'll hopefully get to that in a bit.
Not that the hints at her mechanical nature and the relevance of Tucker's background were lost on me; I can appreciate why those would contribute to a plausible, fun and I think still mostly harmless theory (now fact). However, minus one or two specific posts I've seen on the matter (namely a recent one suggesting that if Trudy is a robot Beth is probably taking inspiration from The Stepford Wives, :( sorry person who made that post I couldn't find it I wanted to credit yoouuu), I've seen the theory just about exclusively presented in a manner that, rather than explore the metaphorical and political significance of Trudy being partially or fully mechanical, at best disregards the parts of her narrative that are at their core about sexism (among other related things), and at worst negates them entirely (i.e. Trudy only thinking and acting how she does because she's a robot malfunctioning and not because the world itself is causing harm and she rightfully wants something more than the role she was forced into, Trudy not even having any real thoughts and feelings of her own, etc.). I just think it kind of sucks to shove all those important things about her aside and say "actually, there's no person suffering here, she's just a robot" and perhaps worse yet to imply that she does have thoughts and feelings but because they result in Weird™ behavior it must be a problem with her code and not at all relate to what women were subjugated to during this point in American history.
CONVERSELY I don't think Trudy being a robot (or at least partially one) at least from what Beth and Will have presented us thus far, inherently suffers from any of these issues? First and foremost because Trudy definitely appears to possess sentience, thoughts, and emotions of her own, matters which immediately complicate her degree of personhood and don't inherently box her behavior in as a bug in her programming rather than an issue with the world she's been put in, quite the opposite in fact! I think they have a very solid groundwork laid out here to make a strong statement with Trudy's narrative (and perhaps ask the question of what is really malfunctioning here), all the more so since [I pull out a Rebecca Swallows-style conspiracy board] I don't think she's entirely robotic in nature? Actually you should just read Mack's tags in this post cause he has great thoughts on the matter (of which those are just some of them), but if I can direct your attention to one thing in particular, it would be Beth's fact (I *believe* from episode 2) about Trudy never graduating high school because of her essay where she suggested that "perhaps women could one day domesticate themselves", a statement that could of course be interpreted a number of ways but ultimately threatened the patriarchal status quo enough (in suggesting women's independence) to cost Trudy her diploma. Taken on its own this fact appears to contradict the theory that Trudy has always been robotic in nature, because it doesn't really make sense that Trudy would have been set up to go through high school (or school at all really) when Tucker's intention was/is for her to be the perfect housewife. You may then suggest that Trudy's memories of this are fabricated and not actually her lived experiences, in which case firstly perhaps you should reread my earlier point on the robot theory being used to actively negate and otherwise disregard the portions of Trudy's narrative that pertain to sexism and feminism, and secondly it really doesn't make any sense to me that Tucker would implant those kind of memories into Trudy's brain? To be completely honest if she's been a robot from the very beginning (rather than someone who became a cyborg, which is what I'm trying to suggest here), then I don't see why Tucker would program her with actual sentience in the first place (suspending my disbelief here with regards to the possibility of programming sentience to begin with). It seems much more likely to me then that Trudy was not always a robot, and instead altered by Tucker to force her into a role of subordination and remedy her """imperfections""". This option is significantly more interesting to me one, because it implies that Trudy has actually lived a life up until the present, full of its own complexities and strife (and dreams, and real actual memories worth exploring, etc.), and hence is not by any means "just a robot", and second because it amplifies the hypothetical statement being made on the lives of the real living women of the era and how they were treated and seen as being "in need of fixing" for not conforming to gender roles or otherwise acting "out of line" with what was expected of them.
OKAY THIS GOT OUT OF HAND SO I'M CUTTING MYSELF OFF HERE but I wanted to my share my current thoughts what with this ending and where I'm at so hopefully that was at least interesting to whoever has chosen to read through this one okay thank you byyyyyyyyye~
#BREATHES OUT sorry that was so much longer than expected#but isn't it always?#dndads#trudy trout#dndads spoilers#the peachyville horror#dndads s3 ep 4#dungeons and daddies#*mostly* I'd been keeping my full feelings on the topic to myself#but now that the cat's out of the bag aaah I felt like I had to ramble a little ehehe#ik I haven't been around much lately! This is for a variety of reasons#but rest assured I still give far too many shits about this podcast LOL#aaaaaand uuuh post#(also THANK YOU again Mack for giving me the little push of reassurance I needed to post this one haha)#undescribed#gotta add that later sorry :(
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Why do I even bother turning up to school?
Half my class is ditching school this week. Those of us who turn up genshin under the table, watch k drama, play clash royale/cod and all that jazz. My closest thing to a bestie is out of comission with covid and is now happily watching anime and valoranting, while waking up at 10 am. My platonic soulmate is in another class which sucks ass. My other friend goes for 10 minute walks around the school every lesson, and I join her because I cannot sit in class any longer. My brother in arms, aka my PW mate, watches tamil movies in class and if I ask him, sends me the links. We watch them together sometimes during PW and civics cuz they're ass. Responsible student award goes to me, i know.
It's okay. It's the last week of school. I will turn up like a good kid, and show my teachers I'm not a delinquent. (cough cough who are we deluding)
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pm!dazai taking reader on a date after school, but it’s somehow awkward! tried to get you a stuffie from a claw machine but failed miserably, so he shot the glass out of frustration.. something like that hehe ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
ⵌ HANGIN' OUT THE PASSENGER SIDE OF HIS BEST FRIEND'S RIDE
SENDER Reader (Fem) RECIPITENT PM Dazai Osamu (BSD) CONTENTS You were a horrible pair. You two were unlikely and the path ahead of you could have never predicted such thing to happen. You aren't sure why or how, but you found yourself the centre of Osamu Dazai's attraction. NOTE fluff, reader and dazai are 16/17, brief chuuya, jealousy, young love COMPANY No Scrubs
A/N wrote th is thro ughou t th e sch ool d ay ;3; forgi ve any mist a kes or rush ed writ ing !!! eeeeeeE EEEE i lov requ ests ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
It was embarrassing at this point.
You disliked bringing any sort of unwanted attention to yourself more than anything else. And yet, you owe it to the brunette by your side who attracted stares like a magnet.
" Owwh, fuck! " His drawn out swear accompanied by the stomping of his shoe against the carpeted floor. It's biometric, vibrant patterns splattered across a dark black background sickened you to stare for too long.
" I told you, these are a scam ", you attempted to protest against his insistence that he was sure to win this time, no take-backs. " Why not buy a ticket to the bowling alley instead of wasting it on these? " You remained temperate in opposition to his rowdy and indecent behaviour. You adopted the traits of an older sister, or a mother.
" No way! I spent too much to give up now. " Your head ached. " Look, if I keep inching it closer to the drop, I'll be sure to get it. "
And so, the poor joystick would continue to be abused, 200 yen being inserted into the comparator with every miss, Dazai's agitation growing with each failure.
It had been a sultry evening after school. Gathering your belongings and preparing to take the daily commute home, the pitter-patter of heavy footsteps ran behind you to reveal none other than Dazai Osamu.
He was somewhat of an enigma to everyone who knew him, even those that never exchanged a word with him knew of his name.
Dazai had a horrible track-record and even worse attendance. With a mysterious bandage over his right eye.
Despite his lack of punctuality and participation in classes, he not once has ever failed an exam. Many rumours circulated that he'd cheat - though no evidence of such was ever received. Others thought he must've slept his way to good grades.
Or, he was just inhumanely intelligent.
" Y/N! Y/N! " His ecstatic voice beckoned you to stop walking as he had finally caught up to you, bending over to catch his breath. " Let's visit the arcade together! "
You didn't know what possessed you to accept.
" Oy! Leave 'er alone, moron. Some people actually have work to get to after school. "
And there was his companion, Chuuya. Underestimating him is like a death wish. He was short. Horribly, unfortunately short. Sometimes, you'd feel bashful for the fact he'd have to look up at you sometimes.
Unlike Dazai, Chuuya's absence from school wasn't intentional.
No, not at all. Chuuya never missed a day of school on his own accord. His record full of missed days were from suspensions.
Often getting into fights with anyone, he has never lost a fight.
The duo had a dynamic you couldn't quite grasp.
And then there was you in the middle of it all.
Dazai had lured you into the friend-group about two years ago, when you were all put in the same base class and Dazai, in his extroverted glory, made attempts to suck up to all in class.
You listened to how the girls would swoon and whisper amongst themselves about the legend that was Dazai Osamu, and once he reached you, you couldn't be less impressed than what he had to offer.
" Oh, c'mon Y/N! It won't take too long, we never hang out anymore! "
His sad attempt at desperate puppy eyes lightened your day a little, so you thought you should humour him, just this once.
You didn't know much about Dazai and Chuuya's private life and you didn't pry into the territory either.
All you knew was that they were filthy rich and had a connection to the principal, Ogai Mori. Otherwise, they would've been expelled a long time ago.
" Let it go, Dazai. It's not worth it. " You put your hand on his shoulder as he leaned forward, nose barely touching the glass of the claw machine as he tried to focus on getting just what he wanted.
" But you looked at it! " He whined, digging into his pockets as the machine played a sound of defeat. " And? "
" And that means I need to get it for you! "
He insisted profusely that it'll be worth it, and you continued to doubt him. You've been standing by his side for thirty minutes at this point and not once has he won a prize.
You remarked to him that the game was purposely rigged, pointing out how weak the claw was and estimating the plushies within were weighing a little over the maximum capacity something so weak would be able to grasp for more than two seconds. That, and also how the claw would never close properly, inching in barely and dropping what toy it had luckily managed to hold onto.
And that degrading sound of humiliation. A squeaky, robotic coquettish voice repeating itself 'Better luck next time!' over and over.
Dazai was not losing to a machine.
Your stomach grumbled with hunger, and it was becoming clear that you both were growing with unrest at this machine.
" You kids still going at that? "
An arm propped itself on top of the roof of the claw machine, you looked up to see a worker had made his way over to you both. Dazai, did not look up from the game.
" I tried to get him to stop ", you mumbled, looking away from him. You'd always get shy at people older than you. You weren't exactly timid, but you were raised to be respectful. " He wants to win it for me. " It sounded oddly romantic when you put it that way.
" Yeah? You sure he can do it? " The man laughed at the truth. " So you two are on a date? " He overstayed his welcome and you began to wonder if it was usual for employees to wedge themselves into customers business.
" Yeah. We are. " Dazai answered for you, slotting in more coins for yet another try.
" Here, move li'l man, I got this. " Shoving Dazai away by the hip, the white-haired man. Begrudgingly, Dazai said nothing.
And almost with no effort at all, the man easily got the claw to clasp around the exact seal plush you wanted.
He must have been watching you both for a while to know what you wanted.
Although you kept assuring Dazai you didn't need it, you couldn't help the way your eyes sparkled as the man handed it to you with a smug smile.
" Oh! Thank you, sir! Thank you! " You took it from his hand with joy, looking at the fat cushion with adoration. It was simply adorable! You bowed your head repeatedly in gratitude, though felt it was simply not enough.
You almost forgot about Dazai until your ears deafened with the sound of a loud bang and the crashing of glass.
On impulse, you dropped to your knees with your hands over your ears protectively, unsure as to what just happened. Peeking through your tightly shut eyes, you saw that you were the only one to have dropped down and everyone else was as normal as ever.
Before you were even able to question, you uncovered your ear to hear Dazai converse with the man.
" How sad, I guess when you're making minimum wage you figure out how to make your job interesting. " Dazai cocked his pistol like second nature, and behind the legs of the employee you were crouched behind, you peered between his legs up at Dazai with wide, lost eyes.
Looking down at you, Dazai looked pissed.
" Didn't mean to scare you. Get up, we're leaving. "
The employee and Dazai seemed to know each other. You figured by the way the older man was cool about the whole ordeal, almost like he'd done everything intentionally.
You shakily rose to your feet, at a loss for words, and stared with astonishment as Dazai began to gather multiple stuffed toys from the now-broken claw machine and hold them in his arms after tucking his pistol away.
" But- you- the- "
You tripped over your words and found yourself unable to comprehend what had just happened.
" Not gonna run way with your Clyde, Bonnie? " The employee joked, stepping out of your way.
You felt this to be illegal. Maybe because it was. You did not want to aid in a robbery even if the employee was not actively stopping you. Before you could even act, Dazai grabbed you by the arm and ran ahead of you, dragging you behind him as he laughed, your other arm held tightly around the seal plush, afraid to let it go.
" Holy shit, I was so cool! " He shrilled, your shorter legs barely able to keep up with his strides.
" Dah-zai! " You panted out as he kept on running.
Your adrenaline rang in your ears and the heart in your chest beat rapidly as the two of you ran, jumped, hopped over valleys, onto the stepping stones of the river and through the bushes of the dark forest.
" Y/N! "
Dazai yelled out to you. At this point, many plushies in his arms had fallen, yet your intertwined hands never once budged open.
" Whah! Wh-What! " You tried to match his energy, but you were far too exhausted.
Finally, you both collapsed into the cold grass surrounding by large oak trees.
The night sky looking down on wild star-crossed students.
" I think I.. think I love you, Y/N " He said between deep breaths, both your limbs spread out as you tuned to the sound of crickets, the birds and the rapid breathing of one another.
You didn't know what you were thinking, or if you were even thinking coherently, though..
" I think I love you too, 'samu. "
©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3
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gyuv being the type of bf who would do anything his gf asks to help her feel better so when she gets stressed from work/sch and asks him to make out and eat her out to get her mind off of things ..? ouh .. 🍽️
sub top gyuvin is very dear to me 🤤 just a very eager puppy boy who’s down for anything as long as you ask nicely, like stripping naked so you can admire his body the way it deserves to be.
getting home from a long day at work visibly tired and the first thing that greets you is a very clingy gyuvin on the couch asking what he can do to make you feel better… and obviously the only cure for your tiredness is getting to see your boyfriend naked :( so he acts quick on your request and slips out of his sweater and sweatpants immediately. he starts touching you all over and kisses down your neck, making you feel the warmth of his body even more closely.
you can’t help but admire your boyfriend’s toned stomach and bare long legs, but you also notice there’s one article of clothing left that gyuvin seems to have forgotten to remove: his boxers. you tug at them and make his half-erect cock spring out, placing it in the palm of your hand to tease. gyuvin’s sensitivity creeps up on him immediately in the form of a series of whimpers.
regardless, he asks you what he should do next, and you fail to resist the urge of calling him a good boy, much to his pleasure. you crawl onto his bare lap, letting his cock poke at your clothed folds and ask for a kiss on the mouth. as expected, he obliges and decides to be messy with it, making out with you in wet, slick motions. the way he kisses you feels so sexily desperate you think you can get off to it alone, but you decide that it’s your turn to drive him crazy by twisting at his hardened nipples and running your hands against his abs.
gyuvin notices the growing wetness of your pussy and breaks away from your delicious kissing. he gets off the couch and gets down on his knees on your living room floor, then spreads your legs gently. he doesn’t even think about undressing you and simply pulls your panties halfway down before starting to lick at your folds. you feel absolutely aroused by his ministrations of hunger as he sticks his tongue deeper into your folds and sucks on them relentlessly. as he licks a stripe down your clit, you can’t help but grip at his hair tightly as a reaction. this only pushes him to go down on you even harder, and the sight of him fully nude and this pussy-drunk is more than enough to make you reach your high.
feeling the need to make these moments last longer, you pull out your phone and hit record, focusing on his head between your thighs. the sound of the camera startles gyuvin, coming to a quick jolt against your core, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he resumes fucking you with his tongue. he looks up to you and your phone’s camera with his big, almost watery eyes, and when you get a better glimpse of his face, you see your own wetness stain his cheeks.
it doesn’t take long for you to orgasm and you come on gyuvin’s face rather unapologetically. when he’s done with you, he gets up off the floor and kisses you again, which makes you taste yourself in the process.
“any reason why you started filming, baby?” gyuvin pulls away from you and points to your phone, and you can’t help but crack a smile.
“just watching this can calm my nerves down after a long day, baby,” you reply. “speaking of that, there’s something else i’ve been wanting to capture.”
“mm,” gyuvin pulls you from the side to cling onto you once more. “what might that be?”
you don’t respond to him with words. instead, you slightly reposition his tall, lanky figure to make him directly face you. wrapping a hand around his thick, long cock, you take your phone out and ensure his face is in frame before hitting record again.
#gyuvin smut#kim gyuvin smut#zb1 hard hours#zb1 smut#zerobaseone hard hours#zerobaseone smut#gyuvin hard hours#gyuvin x reader#kim gyuvin x reader
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3k - A celebration!
Hey there, guys and gals!
TLDR: There's a poll at the bottom asking which story deserves a sequel!
Today is a very special day, at least to me. After a little more of one year posting stories to Tumblr, I have reached the absolutely staggering number of 3000 followers. During this time, I have posted about 100 stories with a unbelievable (and I kid you not) 33,333 likes and reblogs. Yes, this is the exact number at the time of writing this post. Yes, I wrote a program to look that up and the number is accurate.
Let me just say: Wow. And thank you. 3000 of you found my writing enjoyable enough to want me in their feed. And there were exactly 33,333 times in the past year-and-a-bit that someone actually *liked* what they saw/read/skimmed over. I couldn't feel more honored, really.
As a celebration, I am going to do something I usually don't (even though I have been asked a couple of times): I will write a sequel or prequel or related story to one of those stories YOU liked most. Remember the program I wrote to find out my total number of notes? Yeah, the original function was to find out the stories with the most notes. Out of the top six of those, I will let you chose the one story you want to see more of. Additionally (although it is only at rank 10), as a seventh option I'll add "Your wish is my command", since that is the story I have received the most sequel requests. So, without further lamenting, here are the stories!
#1: 11:48
#2: Boyfriend Material
#3: ATArena
#4: Spice Up
#5: Beating Recession
#6: Calling the Plumber
#7: Your Wish is my Command
So! Which one is it going to be? Choose wisely!
That's it from my side for today. Stay awesome!
AT
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The Radio Host and The Reporter (pt 2)
Parings; Human!Alastor x Human!fem reader
Warnings; Alastor being Alastor. Murder, gore, stalking, cannibalism, drinking, sexism
Dw yall end up in hell......eventually
Pt one Pt three
As you stepped out of the club into the swampy night air, you take a deep breath. Stretching your hands up to the moon with a soft groan you go ahead and step off into the night, walking towards your home.
Unknown to you however that you were being followed by two people. One being the very same politician she had written her very first story on. The second being Alastor, wanting to ensure that a fine woman such as yourself made it home safely.
With the occasional stumble you make your way down the street, turning right at the corner of where your home was. Alastor sucked in a breath, noticing the crude way the politician spoke about you under his breath. He had decided on his next victim.
*****
A few days later his voice rang through the airways,
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it's me, Alastor yes it's a pleasure to be speaking to you all once again. Now onto today's news! About a year ago a story was written by this fella named "Roger" about how one of our own political figures was quite the abuser, leading to him losing his job. Well last night he has been reported missing! My what I wouldn't give to meet this Roger fella, he's got quite the talent."
Alastor could not help the smile that crossed his lips as he remembered the joy he had in slaying the poor sap. Watching the life leave his eyes after his blade had plunged into him. His mouth watered at just the mere thought of how wonderful a stew he had created with that man's heart.
As Alastor's show continued you sat at your table, notebook open as your pen dropped to your table with a soft clang.
Your story, your writing, your journalism had been brought up by THE Alastor. Your face split in half at the grin that crossed your features. Joy built up in your chest at the thought. A giggle breaking the steady sound of Alastor talking at the amusing thought that he had no idea it was even you who had done it. 
You stand up, knocking your chair over as you jump for joy, laughing as you take in all the praise. You then fix your chair and go back to working on your next story, a smile still across your face, deciding that in the evening you would go visit your favorite speakeasy again.
1922
You and Alastor had been meeting at Mimzy's speakeasy nightly for quite a few months now, each time leaving Alastor with more questions than answers.
Some foreign feeling had wormed its way into his heart, making it beat faster and faster whenever he was around you. To his dismay the feeling hung around even after he had sobered up. So he figured that on a fine autumn evening, to run himself an experiment.
He sauntered over to the table the two of you shared. Taking your hand in his he placed a gentle kiss upon your knuckles, raising his eyes to speak his greeting,
"Why good evening my dear (y/n) how are you doing on this evening?"
His advices made your cheeks burn with a blush. Alastor could have sworn his heart did a tumble seeing such a sight. Retracting your hand so Alastor could have a seat you give him a response,
"Oh right as rain Alastor. Truly. Although I have been quite bored at home. My pa won't even let me work at the family's company"
You respond with a sigh, taking a drink from your glass. As soon as you set your drink down, Alastor grabs your hand.
"Then let me take your mind off of things, come join me for a dance?"
Without a second thought you let him drag you to the dance floor. The two of you spin and dance for what seems like hours on end, the entire time, a smile never leaving your face.
While on the dance floor, Alastor pulled you close for a moment,
"Say Cher, you say you've nothing to do, so how about I take you out tomorrow afternoon?"
Laughing you give your response,
"Oh Alastor, I'd love to!"
Giggling like gossiping school children, the two of you take your seats again, finishing your drinks before paying, and finally letting Alastor walk you home.
Walking arm and arm, chatting the night away as Alastor walks you home. Well not exactly chatting, more of Alastor talking about who knows what, and you listening in gaining information on his likes and dislikes.
In turn, you shared that you quite enjoy Barbershop quintets and swing music. Before long, Alastor and you had arrived at door. Letting go of your arm you take your key out of your small bag and fumble with the lock for a moment before pushing open the door. You turn around to face Alastor,
"Thank you for walking me home Alastor. Please take care tonight, I hear all kinds of men are disappearing into thin air!" 
With that you walk into your home, closing the door behind you. You take your shoes off before placing your hands on your cheeks feeling them heat up with blush at the thought of going on a date with Alastor.
"Oh hush up your emotions girl, you ain't in love. He ain't either. You were the one who told the fib about you being stuck in the house all day, now you gotta follow through"
You shook your head as you head to your room to get yourself ready for bed.
Meanwhile Alastor chuckled to himself as he walked away from your door. He found it amusing that you worried for his safety, not knowing he was the one behind all the missing persons.
Wearing his signature smile (your never fully dressed without one) he made his way to his cabin on the edge of the bayou. He thought about his impromptu proposal of a date and found a familiar feeling start to warm his heart.
Walking into his cabin and taking off his coat and shoes he glared at nothing in particular. He wasn't sure if he liked the feeling or not. The way he felt as if his heart was lighter when you smiled at him. The way your laugh sounded like bells in the wind to him.
In his mind only one woman mattered, his mother, so why did he find his thoughts starting to become consumed by you?
He sighed running a hand through his hair that had already started to return to its naturally curly state. He needed a hunt. Nothing like a good hunt to clear his mind of any and all distractions.
He gained a sinister smile at the thought of a hunt, so that evening he went ahead and did just that, crossing another person off his list and ridding New Orleans of someone he thought to be inferior.
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