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mysticalsoot · 2 years ago

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too, more, and most

A/N: this was originally supposed to be a lil valentine's blurb but then it took a very dark turn so it won't be that unless you want it to be, and in that case then sure, this very dark fic can be a valentine's gift to you all (all 70 of you??? what the fuck??) anywho ty all for the love on my writing, can't begin to express how fucking cool that is and how thankful I am!!!

TW// very dark, death is alluded to until straight out said, sorta MCD but redeemed, lots of swearing, derealization, hallucinations, death ish. that's it I think?

Summary: Wilbur is a broken man with attachment issues, his problems only worsen after reader breaks up with him. he finds out his love isn't here anymore but finds himself discovering what true reality is his.

Pairings: cc!wilbur x reader

Pronouns: they/them and use of y/n and l/n

Words: 3,378 (forgot to add at first, sry)

masterlist

@lvrboysoot love u, elliot. sorry for the pain I'm gonna inflict upon you with this</3

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Wilbur was picky with who he said I love you to. His family was one thing, parents, brothers—those were easy. When it came to others, friends, romantic partners—those were more difficult, more calculated when he eventually admitted it.

But once he did, he never stopped saying it. And he was stubborn, fully set that he loved you more than anything than anyone ever loved anyone else.

He would say it at least once an hour, and if he was away he'd text the words to you, followed by some stupid mushy gif. He'd write love letters readmitting his feelings for you, attaching a little wild flower he found somewhere in the garden. He'd leave it on your side of the bed and sneak away back into his office. He sat in his desk chair and pretend to work as he listened for you to open the front door. He'd wait there, patiently dilly-dallying whilst he waited for your arms to wrap around him and kiss the top of his head.

He'd follow it by saying; "I love you, darling." His hands resting on your arms that snuck around his shoulders, your chin now on the top of his head.

"I love you too," Is what you would reply with, he'd chuckle and press a kiss to your arm.

"I love you more." Wilbur wasn't one to back down on this exchange, he was sure his love for you outweighed any amount of love for anyone or anything else.

Whoever ended the exchange would say I love you most.

It always mostly worked to end the exchange. Sometimes it just wasn't enough and strings of I love you's were exchanged. The word most wasn't the end all be all, unfortunately.

Or was that even...real?

—★—

The ceiling was far from interesting, but staring at it was better than falling asleep in Wilbur's mind. The other side of the bed was cold, and the lack of warmth and a person beside him, infected his bones with the same bone-chilling temperature the sheets beside him had.

He'd reach his hand over every once and a while, subconscious habits taking over his actions, the exhaustion blurring his mind's ability to keep control.

He forgot how he loathed being alone. And he regretted not saying those words sooner. You would still be here next to him, your hand on the back of his neck, your own head nuzzled into his chest and his arm holding you close to his body, the two of you now one.

Wilbur should have said I love you a long time ago. Sleeping wouldn't be a dreaded activity and maybe the bags under his eyes wouldn't be so dark they look like black eyes anymore. He'd have a reason to move forward.

His phone had been shut off by him for a few weeks, and the bills still went through but he needed to ignore all the pleas and notifications from friends and family.

No, James, Wilbur does not want to go out drinking and talk about it. He'd much rather have anything else.

And no, Tommy, Wilbur didn't want to join your next vlog at the beach. Do you want him to break down?

Jack asked to come over and play some Mario Kart with him to take his mind off things. They all had valid concerns and they were only doing their best but he didn't want to do anything.

Not when he could have prevented the situation he's in, he's in a void, and he has no purpose as far as he's concerned.

Ash was the most gentle of them all, he asked if Wilbur was okay a few times, always following it up with "you don't have to talk about it, just know that I'm here". He was kind, quiet, and gentle. Wilbur had genuinely contemplated answering his friend, spilling his guts on how it was his fault and that there wasn't anything he could do that would mend it, everything was gone and it was his fault. But he didn’t he kept his thoughts and feelings to himself.

He kept the too, more, and most to himself. He couldn’t tell you, so why tell anyone? It was best held close to his heart like an unforgiving secret, one that if spilled would put a ripple in space and time. So it was a secret forever held behind the bars of heartbreak.

He tried peeling himself out of bed, wiping his face of old dried tears--he couldn't cry anymore so the saltwater stains on his cheeks were days old, or maybe weeks, Wilbur couldn't tell. It took him a few minutes to coax his aching and tired body to sit up at the least--and even more time to convince himself to turn his phone back on. Maybe he would regret doing so, maybe he wouldn’t but the only way to know was to just..do it. So he did, the screen on his phone lit up, the classic white apple illuminating his face as he waited there, his eyes glued to the screen as it booted up. A few seconds and five password attempts later, his phone was unlocked and in the sms app.

He gravitated towards the last messages with you, it didn't take much convincing for him to open it and when he did, it felt like a train hit him. All of the emotions—the regret, the pain—came flooding back to him.

The last message he ever got from you was "I love you". He mentally kicked himself for never saying it and he threw his phone down on his bed, regret bubbling up his throat and he pulled on his hair. Dry, pained sobs escape his chest and he's shaking. This is so stupid. I'm so stupid. His thoughts ran wild, taunting him, stabbing him. Looking him in the face and telling him how this is all his fault. It's all his fault. It has to be all his fault.

He begins shaking, pulling his legs up to his chest, and wraps his arms around his knees, shoving his face between them. No tears fall, and the sobs lessen, although no less painful than before. He tries to take deep breaths, pushing the image of your last message to him that's burned into his vision, further and further from his consciousness. If his brain can push every other bad memory away, why won't it hide this one? God, he's so stupid—what person forces themselves to face the one thing that tore them apart? Wilbur would be it. He is the one to do that and he regrets it.

His breathing slows to a steady pace, and he drops his hands from his hair. He wants to curl up inside himself and just shrivel up until he's nothing but particles in the air. And he wants to, he really wants to. But he promised himself he would go out today and do something helpful for himself. Maybe some fresh air would help.

Or maybe it'll just remind him of you

Either way, he needed out. His bed was beginning to feel claustrophobic and the walls of his room felt like they were closing in on him. Not to mention he hasn't showered in at least a week, and the last time he did shower, James had forced him and stood outside the bathroom door the entire way because he knew Wilbur would try and trick him.

He lifted his blankets and tossed them to the side, throwing his legs over the side of his bed and pushing himself up to stand. His legs wobbled for a moment in a lack of use and then he mindlessly brought himself to his dresser, grabbing a sweater and some jeans, and whatever else he needed before his legs brought him to the bathroom and he turned on the shower.

The water burned his skin but was somehow comforting in the way he turned red as the water hit him. It burned, but it was nice. It was an unfortunate reminder he was alive, and this was real. But perhaps, a cold shower would be even worse, so the reminder of his reality through burning hot water droplets on his skin was a much better alternative than cold ice water douching him in the painful realization of never being able to get you back.

That was worse than anything. That you were forever to never be his again.

It wasn't much longer that he stood under the hot water, and then he soon stepped out, hurriedly wrapping himself in a towel to avoid the chilling cold you always feel after a boiling shower. He doesn't bother to change whilst in the bathroom, but instead snatches his clothes from the cluttered sink counter and pulls open the door, bringing himself back to the warmth of his room while he slips on his clothes, his sweater being last after a T-Shirt underneath.

He knew that if he made any more contemplation over whether he should go outside or not, he'd never make it past his bedroom door. So he was quick in grabbing his keys and wallet before slipping out of his bedroom door followed by his apartment door. He quickly locked the door until it clicked and hurried down the stairs. The faster he got downstairs, the less time he had to rethink his decisions.

He's quick to push open the clear entrance door to his apartment building, passing by some of his neighbors he's never met and then he's out of the stuffy building. He's hit with a wave of wind, hitting the tip of his nose, and the cool scent warming him in calm comfort. It's nice to feel comfort again, it's so, so nice.

He stands there for a moment, taking in the cool, fresh air. To passersby, he looks like an idiot who's most likely high—but in reality, he's a broken man who hasn't left his house in weeks and feels he no longer has a purpose. Neither version is a good one, but what he really is, is much better than the alternative.

He pauses for a moment, taking in what's around him. Wilbur didn't think about what he was going to do past walking outside, so now he's stuck. Maybe he could go right back inside or maybe he—

There's a shadow of a person on the beach, or maybe it just looks like a shadow—but something about it draws him to it. Where the shadow seems to pace on the beach—the person-shaped shadow—isn't far from where he stands in front of his apartment building. He's curious, and the curiosity gets to him and he's hurriedly walking over to the stairs that lead down to the beach. He doesn't waste any time finding that damned shadow, he doesn't even know why he wants to know what it is, so badly. But he does, he really does and his hurried walking turns to jogging until he's full-out sprinting on the pebble beach, the saltwater-twisted air hitting his nose sharply.

The shadow becomes more and more of a human shape the closer he gets to it. And then he's a foot away. And the shadow turns around to face him. And it isn't a shadow anymore. It's a person. It's a fucking person. But it isn't just any person, no, no—it's you.

It's you. It's you. It's you. Oh god, it's you.

But you don't look…alive. You look dead, gone. You're practically transparent and he wonders if this is what it was like for people to see Ghostbur if the DreamSMP was real. Dear god, you're dead. Or are you? Maybe he's just hallucinating, maybe he spent too long in his flat and now his mind doesn't know what reality is and so it's tricking itself into believing you're here. But as a shadow.

He wants to run so badly but something keeps him angered onto the pebble-covered beach. Why can’t he stop looking at you? And why in all things good can he not move?

“Y/N,” It’s the only thing he utters, and it's broken and quiet in the way he says it.

You simply stare at him, his expression cracking and shattering in the same way his heart does all over again, and then you’re gone again. You simply poof into thin air.

He takes hours before he can drag himself back to his flat, and he still hasn’t figured out if what he saw was real or not--but he’d rather not dwell on that for now. He just needs to get back home, he didn't even bring his phone with him, who knows how many people have tried contacting him whilst he was on his..walk. You could call it a walk, that’s for sure.

The door is opened haphazardly, and he nearly bangs his head against the side of it, not noticing his surroundings. He takes the stairs, his steps slow and by no means careful, and then hes on his floor, dragging himself to his flat. He unlocks the door until it clicks and then beelines for his room and snatches his phone off his bed.

He has a few dozen messages from friends, some from his parents and brothers--but he ignores them all and goes straight to safari;

Y/N L/N obituary

He presses the search button and turns his phone screen away from himself, face down in his lap. Wilbur has been offline for weeks--anything could’ve happened--and who would tell him anyways? Plus, who’s to say what felt like weeks to him, hasn't been months?

A few moments later and with some reassurance from himself, he turns the screen back to face him and his eyes glance to the first result.

Y/N dead at 26, drowned at brighton beach

It’s dated four months ago.

But they broke up with him three weeks ago? You were alive mere weeks ago! How did this--how did this happen?

It was your ghost he saw, that much he knows.

You died.

God…

You’re dead.

Wilbur finds tears sliding down his cheeks, droplets plopping onto his phone screen and he pulls the sleeve of his sweater over his hand to wipe away the salty liquid from his face and he sniffles.

How didn’t he know? Why didn’t anyone tell him?

He should go back to the beach.

The beach sounds great…maybe he’ll find you again, maybe he can ask questions and get answers for all of the wonders wandering his mind.

That’s what he should do.

And so he does, but this time he takes a blanket and his phone with him.

It’s the same path as before but now he knows where he’s going when he steps outside and its dark now. The biting cold wind of dusk hits his face in a harsh sharpness, but he moves on and continues walking, blanket rested over his arm and head held up as he looks around for you.

He spots you on an old pier and is quick to follow you, walking up the crickety stairs, being slow and careful with his steps, cautious to not spook the ghost of you again. He has questions that need answers, and scaring you away does him no good.

He keeps walking to the edge of the pier, there aren’t any railings, and its entirely open. He stops when hes one to two feet away from you and he drops the blanket on the planks of wood below. He looks up from the ground, eyes meeting your shadowy figure slowly revealing details about you, although still transparent, you aren’t just a shadowy figure.

“Hello, love,” Wilbur is sure to put on a soft smile when he speaks, and you shake your head at him, looking down.

You look up, head tilting and bottom lip poking out as a taunt, “I’m not your love,”

“I--I know you’re dead but--”

“No,” is all you say, and then you’re gone again.

Wilbur wants to break down again, decompose, and scream and sob and cry. But instead, he just stands there in cowardice. He doesn’t move, he simply stands in silence. He finds himself walking towards the edge of the pier and then he sits down, legs dangling over the water.

He wonders what would---

No, Wilbur, no.

He recoils. Pulls his legs up. Backs away from the edge. He feels someone push him. He pushes back and tries to find the source of said force--it’s just him up here. But he keeps pushing against the force trying to knock him off and he’s doing a great job of it--until he doesn’t and then he’s plummeting down and he twists in the air as he falls and something in his mind speaks.

“Your end is the same as your love’s”

And then it's all black.

The next thing he knows he’s choking up water or what feels like choking up water. But he doesn’t feel like he’s in water and-- But hes awake? Alive? It feels dry around him but he still can’t see.

He tries crying out, his eyes practically glued shut and he can’t force them open.

He jolts up and his eyes shoot open, his eyes frantically search the room, it's dark and he can barely see anything and then he sees an outline of a person; you. But you’re dead! And he’s dead!

Or is he, or are you? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know anything anymore.

The shadow-like figure--you, kneel down in front of him, hands on his shoulders and your features come into view; eyebrows knitted in concern, eyes wide with fear, and mouth agape with worry.

“Love,” You inch closer to him and he backs away in fear, breathing rapid and labored, “Are you okay?” You pull your hands away in response to his skittishness.

He shakes his head, “You’re supposed to be dead,” His voice is quiet and it cracks when he speaks like he hasn’t spoken in months.

“What?”

He just shakes his head and pulls his legs up to his chest, hiding the lower half of his face between his knees, eyes the only thing in vision and his gaze is locked on you--completely unwavering.

“I’m not going to hurt you, my darling,” You put your hand out as an offering and he takes it into consideration, eyeing it like it has the chance to burn him.

“You won’t leave?” Wilbur’s eyes glance to yours for a moment before refocusing back onto your offered hand.

You shake your head, a soft smile donning your lips, “Never,”

He utters a small ‘ok’ and takes your hand and a few moments later he catapults himself into your arms. Heavy sobs ricocheted out of his chest. Your arms wrap tightly around him, and his own arms do the same for you. The two of you sit there in silence, the only noises are of the fan set up in your room or the sound of his cries as you hold him.

“I love you,” His voice is soft, small but he means it. He means it so much more than you could know.

“I love you too, bur,” You place a kiss on his temple, your hand reaching to tangle with his hair, “so, so much,”

He hums in response and another silence blankets the two of you in comfortable warmth, and then you’re the one to break it this time;

“What happened?”

He shrugs, “So much,”

You rest your chin atop his head, one hand playing with his hair and the other rubbing his back, “Wanna talk about it?”

He shakes his head, “No,” He pauses, gears turning in his head as he mulls over what to say next, “I love you more, by the way,”

A small, joyous laugh escapes your throat, “And I love you most.”

The two of you spend the rest of the evening like that, in each other's arms, muttering reassurances of your love for the other--and eventually, he tells you of all he’s experienced. And you feel horrible, your heart aches for him but you’re happy he’s in your arms now.

And he smiles.

He knows you’re not going anywhere and he knows you love him too, more, and most.

#wilbur soot #cc!wilbur #cc!wilbur x reader #dsmp wilbur #wilbur #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur x you #wilbur is a sad lil wet cat #im so sorry for this #i am too broke to pay for anyones therapy after this sorry #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot angst #wilbur soot hurt/comfort #sorry man #implied sbi #sbi #sorta

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nomsfaultau · 8 months ago

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How sbi scp lads stay warm in winter <3

#fault au #sbi scp au #technoblade #tommyinnit #philza #Tubbo #Noms Wilbur #Scp wilbur #scp tommyinnit #scp tubbo #scp technoblade #Sbi #sbi art #sbi fluff #Bedrock bros #sbi au #scp philza #something to nom on

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hellothereimaloser · 2 years ago

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dad bird with his son 😍

good news fellas im officially back in my dsmp phase haha haha ha also experimenting with my style again cause i was bored :((

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py-dreamer · 2 years ago

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SBI & RodentHybrid!Reader

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GN!Reader, (this is my first time doing something like this-)

Rats, mice and most rodents alike are under-appreciated in my opinion and I had some SBI brainrot I could not stop.

How did they find you?

Philza had just adopted his 3 chaos sons and was not expecting to have anymore children.

Tommy was 3, Wilbur and Techno were both 10

however, one day he heard tiny squeaks during a trek in the forest.

he thought it was just a regular mouse but it was too loud to be one so he followed the source and peered in the bushes and in it was lil' ol' you

you couldn't have been more than a year old by the looks of it and you were absolutely tiny! you could fit in the palm of his hand

you were also freezing cold and there were no adults around so... guess Phil's gonna adopt another child then!

Your rat features:

I put down rodent hybrid cause' I couldn't make up my mind if you were going to be a mouse or a rat (there's a difference!) so neither can your family!

You have the cartoonishly big mouse ears (think Mickey Mouse) and also a long thin and scaly tail

You also have delicate whiskers and a itty bitty nose that has a surprisingly good sense of smell

There are small patches around your body hear and there

TOE BEANS! TOE BEANS! TOE BEANS!

Also, smol. Extremely small. You are by far the shortest in the family. Mice are really small so I think you'd grow to 1ft 6 at most

Rats have strong teeth so you also have a set of really strong buck teeth

Since Techno once talked with a piglin, and Phil's chat are literally crows, you can talk to other rodents

"I'm not like other people! I'm 1ft 6, I have the best sense of smell, I can talk to animals and I have a tail cause I'm a foocking rat baby"

Life with the SBI

it was rather difficult to adjust to the new family member because of the drastic height differences but nothing they couldn't handle

All the seats, tables ect have a little ladder carved in or have a step-ladder attached so you could climb up

Stairs and doors. They were going to be a problem. So Dadza made like a little elevator out of string, small planks of wood and pulleys so you can get up and down the floors. Each door in the house also had a small doggy door on it so you could easily enter...though one time a stray cat had gotten in and chased you around the house so the main door and the door to the backyard had to have little locks installed on the little doors too.

Once you got a bit older, Dadza realized it would've been a very tiring life for you to have to climb up every seat and every table and every shelf you want to use so he made a little hole in the wall under a table and built tiny furniture perfect size for you and helped you decorate your room

Any soft fabric in the house was a perfect napping spot for you. your family would often find you nesting in hoodies, cushions, jackets, cloaks, blankets ect. (Although once Wilbur almost sat on you when you got a little too comfortable and fell asleep on the couch)

I'd like to think whenever you were mad at one of your brothers, you'd steal their stuff (that you can carry ie Tommy's disc, Wilbur's beanie, Techno's gold) and hide it in your room or a small crevice that only you can fit in and they'd be to big to fit in and reach their stuff.

You would also take advantage of your size and hide in places impossible for your family to hide in but not for you! You were always the hide and seek champion and could evesdrop on your brothers from inside the walls or inside a chest.

Midnight snacks. Just all the snacks. Rats can fit through any space they can get their heads into and some can chew through metal so there was nothing stopping your hungry tummy. Phil was even considering enchanting the pantry to prevent you from theiving all the snacks (you'd share with your brothers though, Phil was just miffed you ate all the snacks before dinner and could get ill)

When you guys were going out and you couldn't keep up, you'd just ride in one of their bags. You were extremely light and it was hard to keep up with their long legs so this was a perfect solution (you 100% fell asleep in a bag once and the family almost flipped the house upside down looking for you)

Your relationship with Dadza

We already mentioned him earlier but he loves you very much

Phil was a lot more nervous to take care of you cause he'd never raised a child this small before

He was very hesitant to let your brothers hold you when you were a baby because you were just so small and fragile-

When you were little and went out with him, you always had to be on him or holding his hand. Sitting on his hat, his shoulder, riding in his bag, him carrying you, he didn't mind but you couldn't be let out of sight especially in large crowds or tall grass.

He always had at least one of his crows keep an eye on you when you went outside to play just in case anything goes wrong

He still worries about you a lot but knows that at least you can defend yourself now.

Your relationship with Wilbur

he was your big brother and you both love each other a lot

it took some time getting used to you but the moment he saw such a tiny baby, he just went 'SMOL CHILD I WILL PROTECT YOU'

in the early days, when Philza couldn't take care of you, he'd hand you to Wilbur who'd spend time with you and Tommy. Be it going to town, making a new song, going to meet Sally, he was mostly glad to bring his little siblings along

While he cared for you a lot, he still played tricks on you sometimes like when he told you that birds eat mice and you just became terrified of Phil and his crows for a good week XD

He was much more relaxed when it came to your safety (not that he'd let you go into the woods alone, like just be less protective than dadza) though he would just be wary when you guys are with a lot of people so he'd prefer it if you were riding on his beanie. He'd get weird stares but as long as you're safe, he didn't care

when composing songs and you're with him, he'd sing the lyrics and you'd sometimes squeak them back in your high-pitched voice and he would either laugh or die from cuteness...or both

rats also generally have better hearing than humans so when he was composing a song, he'd ask for your opinion to see if it was good or not

Your relationship with Techno

when you were first welcomed into the family, he didn't know what to do-

don't get me wrong he got the same 'PROTECT DA CHILD' feeling as Wilbur and even the voices told him to 'PROTEC SMOL THING' when he got them later on

it's just that you were so small that he was afraid he'd hurt you he was never as gentle as his twin or his dad and Wilbur seemed to like you so he figured he'd him take care of you like Tommy

though one day, you were out in the garden. Techno was training, Phil was in the house, Wilbur and Tommy were with friends. A stray zombie found its way to your home and it started to attack you.

you were too small to get away quick enough and tripped but just as the zombie was about to hurt you any more, Techno shot an arrow through that f*cker's head he then realized you were too weak to defend yourself so decided to train you to be stronger

Wilbur was unsure about letting you wield a sword but Techno insisted it was for the best. Eventually, Tommy bugged him enough to train him too.

it took a while but after enough time and hard work, you were able to wield a few light weight weapons and were able to hold your own at pvp by quickly darting and dodging around your opponent.

when you weren't training, Techno read you and Tommy greek mythology. Tommy would sit in his lap and you would rest on his head (if he felt like it, he'd let you two braid his hair)

like the rest of the SBI, he gave you a piece of golden jewelry, for you it was a small earing

Your relationship with Tommy

I'll be honest: Tommy didn't really like you at first

He was glad to not be the youngest but he didn't realize that he'd get less attention due to you being a baby

they still loved him of course, but Tommy couldn't help but feel jealous when Dadza helped you make your own room or when Wilbur took you on their trips to town or when you'd always be carried by Wil or dad or when Techno started training you before him ect

he'd always try to ignore you or glare angrily and naturally, you reciprocated the behaviour and thus you two always had a sort of rivalry

he'd call you names, yank your ears, tail or whiskers and in turn, you'd call him names, steal his stuff and sometimes bit him if he pulled too hard

But then, one day:

You were 10 and sitting by yourself on the swings in the park. Barely anyone else was there and you were doing your own thing. It was one of the rare opportunities when you could be alone. I mean, you did love your family and all but it was nice to have some alone time too. You were minding your own business when suddenly:

"Hey are you a doll?"

A little kid had just picked you up by your waist and you were frankly very startled. You started wiggling, trying to get out of the kid's grasp but it was too tight.

"You're a very weird doll"

The kid held you tighter and you squealed out for help.

"I'm not a doll! Let me go!!"

The child gasps "A talking doll! Mama, mama! Look, a talking doll! Can I keep it please?" they called their mother over

A woman strides over and looked down while you were trying to get out of there. She gasps in horror and shrieks

"A RAT! A RAT! THROW IT AWAY AT ONCE BILLY! IT HAS THE PLAGUE! GET IT AWAY!!"

She then snatched you out of her child's sticky hands and threw you at full force into the mud.

"GET BACK YOU VERMIN! GET AWAY! RETURN TO THE MURKY SWAMP WHERE YOU CAME FROM!" She screeched while you were trying to process what just happened and collect yourself.

All of a sudden, you heard a very angry yet familiar voice from the bushes

"OI! NO ONE GETS TO PUSH MY SIBLINGS INTO THE MUD BUT ME!!"

He then pounced and shoved the prick and her brat into the mud.

"AHHHH YOU INSOLENT BRAT! HOW DARE YOU!"

Without warning, she grabbed Tommy and tried to trip him over him but before she could, you sneaked up behind her and bit down hard on one of her legs. Tommy then grabbed you and booked it out of there with the screeches of the witch behind you.

Once you two made it back home, you started to clean yourself up when Tommy handed a towel to you. He said nothing and looked away but the gesture was all it needed. The both of you were silent but a mutual care about each other started to grow that day.

it took a while but you two soon became thick as thieves

he even introduced you to Tubbo later on!

You and Tubbo relate to each other on the fact that you were both often underestimated and your shorter heights compared to everyone else.

Life in the smp

you decided to follow Wilbur and Tommy when the left home and promised to write to your dad and older brother

by now, you were as tall as you could be and could defend yourself reasonably well

you, Tommy and Tubbo absolutely cause chaos together. I mean the rat, the racoon and the goat? Who makes better thieves than that?

You definetely participated in the disc wars, stealing Tommy's discs back from Dream whenever you could

During the L'Manberg era, you decided to join your brothers' country and became good friends with the rest of the L'Manberg members. You had a little uniform and everything, you helped to plant flowers and decorate around the country since it was a bit hard to place down blocks.

L'Manberg really felt like a second home and a second family for you even with the constant battles, you still had each other and that was enough.

Then you and everyone else lost your first lives during Eret's betrayal and Tommy had to give up his discs (you wanted to steal them back but Tommy told you that it was ok and they'd find another way) but hey, at least you guys were independent now...right?

Then the elections happened. You were sure your brothers would win until the votes were revealed. They were banned from the country and you desperately scurried after them, trying not to get trampled in the angry mob

You helped them set up Pogtopia and that's when Wilbur decided to give you a job.

With all things considered, you were arguably one of the best spies on the server: You were tiny and hard to spot, you can hide in places no one would think to look, you were fast, agile and hard to catch, you have a far more superior sense of hearing and smelling and can therefore sense if anyone's coming much easier, and you can communicate with rodents; one of the most common and unsuspecting animals.

Therefore, Wilbur gave you and Tubbo the job of spying on Schlatt and Manberg. Tubbo would pretend to be on their side and you would eavesdrop from the shadows.

You should've been more wary of Wil's behaviour, he looked like he was loosing it but still wanting to help your brother, you accepted the job and spied on Manberg, giving Pogtopia info when you could.

Techno came to help and you thought that it would be alright from now on...then the red festival happened. Tubbo gave his speech while you watched from behind the curtains. Then he was boxed up and you could only watch in horror as Techno walked to the stage to execute your best friend.

You thought it couldn't get any worse when someone grabbed you from behind and took you to the stage. JSchlatt held you by the neck and learned that you were the spy sneaking info all along. And before you knew it, he squeezed your throat and you died from suffocation on stage.

Wilbur couldn't look you in the eyes after that and you were told that Techno shot a firework at Schlatt cause 'it wasn't part of the deal'

After the final battle, you couldn't be happier. You were celebrating with all your friends and looking for Wilbur before the ground shook and everything exploded.

You lost half your tail and parts of your left ear that day. But that loss couldn't compare to the loss of your brother, dead in your father's arms

You tried your best to return to normal and just when you started to recover, Tommy was exiled. You followed him to Logstedshire and tried to stand up for him against Dream but he was too strong.

Tommy convinced you to leave him and that he'd be ok and you naively believed him.

When Techno took him in, you followed him and couldn't be happier; your family was back together!...well most of them.

Then doomsday happened. Techno didn't tell you his plans and you were in shock as to why he would blow up L'Manberg now.

He then told you about the execution. That while you were with Tommy in exile, he was going to be executed by the butcher army. That news shook you to the core but you couldn't think straight with your second home being blown to smitherines again.

Afterwards, you decided to take a break from society and ran away to live by yourself in a small home you built in the woods for some time to recover.

Tommy would visit sometimes and told you about the hotel he was building with Sam Nook, Tubbo visited when he could, he even brought Ranboo with him once and told you about their son Michael. Philza visited once, he told you that Techno was doing alright but just hasn't found the time to visit. You didn't answer when he knocked on the door.

(Sorry if the end sounds rushed, its because it is. I just didn't know what to do about the rest of the extensive lore but let me know if you'd like more of these x reader stuff, only platonic though. Anyways, until next time my lovely marshiemellows!)

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roonilwazlibimagines · 1 year ago

Text

s.b Holidate extras - sirius loves her

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female Reader (holidate reader) Word Count: 4k Synopsis: just a little insight into Sirius' feelings over the years <3 i really want to rewrite holidate from his perspective but if it happened it would be an end of year/next year thing, but also i am in the mood to write, I still have my cedric fic that i need to upload and i am self indulging myself with a regululs fic because respectfully i'm only an active writer when i'm at my worst mentally <3 but idk if i'll upload it because it is very self indulgency but i can be convinced

Masterlist | Holidate Masterlist

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Sirius Black was sure that his mother had been trying to set him up with her since the day she was born.

He wasn’t sure because he couldn’t remember, but he was willing to place a very hefty bet that from the moment his mother first saw her, she had began praising her beauty and he was sure that she hadn’t stopped since.

He had vague memories when he was a baby of his mother cooing at her and rambling on about how gorgeous she was. Sure, Sirius was barely a year a old, but he swears that his mother would do it so often, that the memory was ingrained in his mind at such a young age.

Because that was all he would hear.

‘Don’t you think she’s just adorable?’

‘She’s just so stunning.’

‘She’s the prettiest little girl I’ve ever seen.’

So maybe, when Sirius was a few years older and could actually speak and form his own thoughts, his mothers constant pestering about her beauty had managed to seep into his mind. Sirius was still too young to be interested in girls, but he knew that beautiful meant something nice to look at, and she was nice to look at.

She always had nice dresses on, her hair always combed to perfection - even as a young girl - and she had a cheeky smile that his mother used to say would one day get her in trouble.

Sirius didn’t understand. There were many things he did that she said would get him in trouble one day. When he spoke back: ‘That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble one day, Sirius Orion Black.’ When he grumbled and moaned about going to all the fancy events: ‘That attitude of yours is going to get you into trouble one day, Sirius Orion Black.’ But when she said it about her it sounded different and this annoyed Sirius. ‘Oh my,’ she had exclaimed when they were barely six years old, ‘that smile of yours is going to get you into trouble one day.’ She even laughed, ‘don’t know how anyone could ever say no to you.’

But even when Sirius was a tiny bit older and he had a very vague understanding that girls could be pretty, he still thought she was pretty. Even if he still wasn’t sure how much of this thought was his mother’s doing.

She was his friend, of course he found her pretty. She was always shy at first, but Sirius knew how to get her talking and as soon as she started giggling at his idiotic ways, he couldn’t help but laugh with her, even if he didn’t really find it funny.

She was gentle and kind to him when not everyone in that society was, and Sirius began to understand that beautiful didn’t just have to mean something nice to look at.

And when Sirius was a little bit older still, a year or two before he would be off to Hogwarts, he had a pretty good feeling that even if his mother hadn’t been constantly nagging him about her beauty since the moment he was born, he would still find her pretty.

He wasn’t sure what it was. There were other girls in their society, close to his age, but he didn’t think they were pretty like he thought she was pretty. Sure, they dressed nice and there was never a hair out of place, just like her.

But there was something missing.

Sirius didn’t think about it too much, she was his friend and that was all.

Even at this age he knew that he was a black sheep in his familiy and in this society and he knew that none of his thoughts or beliefs aligned with those of the people around him and he had a sneaky suspicion that this had impacted who he found pretty.

Which, he knew, didn’t make sense considering she was very much a part of that society, but he was still a child. It wasn’t a big deal.

Until he got to Hogwarts. And even at eleven, the girls at Hogwarts were very much attracted to Sirius Black and Srius Black was never one to shy away from attention. And he thought they were pretty, he really did, but even if he would never have admitted it, he knew none of them compared to her.

He thought she was pretty in a way that only an eleven year old could. She had a nice smile and Sirius liked the colour of her eyes. He preferred it when she wore her hair down and he liked when she wore red. But these were only fleeting thoughts that he never spent too long on.

And then came the day she stopped talking to Sirius and Sirius felt like absolute shit. She got angrier and meaner and had her glare always been this icy? She had glared at him multiple of times throughout their childhood, but there was always a playful crease between her eyebrows that Sirius often found the urge to smooth out.

Sirius was a little older now, and he thought that as her mean demeanour grew, his attraction to her would shrink.

It was probably why he never found anyone else in that society attractive. They were all assholes. She wasn’t.

But it seemed his mother had really done a good job of ingraining her beauty into his mind because he couldn’t escape the thought.

Not that he thought about it often, it would flicker into his mind late at night when he lay awake, trying to figure out why she stopped talking to him. And it would pass his thoughts when he saw her laughing with her friends, only for her face to turn cold as soon as she made eye contact with him.

And then Sirius was old enough to be genuinely interested in girls and he got a girlfriend, and then another, and then another, and a few nights here and there as well. And he managed to keep her out of his mind for the most part of it.

Of course, that was when she wasn’t rolling her eyes at him or telling him how pathetic he was.

If he was beiing honest, which he didn’t really want to be, he was starting to see her in a new light. Because as much as he’d deny it if anyone asked, she really was gorgeous.

She was effortlessly pretty and Sirius needed to know that she woke up looking like a mess because there was no way a person could be as perfect as her.

She didn’t wear makeup at Hogwarts, but he thought that maybe she wore it when they had Common Room parties. But it didn’t make a difference to Sirius, because whether she had makeup on or not, her eyes still sparkled when she laughed and when she was talking about something she enjoyed her whole demeanour lit up.

He had seen how she dressed outside of Hogwarts which was why he knew that she dressed much more casually at school. And maybe, every weekend Sirius would look over to her in the Great Hall to see if she was wearing that one pair of jeans that he especially loved. And now, Sirius thought he preferred when she tied her hair back because he liked the way the necklace she had been wearing since she was a child rested on her chest. That was all.

He hoped that maybe her beauty would diminish as she continued to be cruel to him and Sirius would say that it did, but he knew deep down, that it didn’t.

Unfortunately, Hogwarts wasn’t the end of it either. If he wanted any support from his parents, he still needed to show up to those stupid events that society held and it wasn’t until Christmas of the year they finished Hogwarts that Sirius realised he had been lying to himself for most of his life.

She was wearing a red dress that hugged every curve on her body and these shoes that made her legs seem like they went on forever, and Sirius grabbed two champagne flutes from the server next to him and drank them both in one go.

It wasn’t a new fact to Sirius that she was always well dressed, but she was no longer wearing the frilly, flowery dresses he now knew her mother dressed her in and Siriuis didn’t know what to do with himself.

Of course, the day ended with a fight between the two of them. And, maybe, Sirius was the one who started it, but they were standing next to each other at the dessert table and he couldn’t really say, ‘hey, I really like this dress, it looks really good on you,’ after years of fighting, so instead he said, “Huh, I thought I’d never have to see you again after Hogwarts.”

That earned him an eyeroll and a scoff and a, “That makes two of us.” and a sarcastic smile to really seal the deal.

So maybe, Sirius’ eyes had a mind of their own when she walked away, but the dress just fit her really well. And it was red. His favourite colour.

And so he’d find joy in seeing what she would wear to these stupid events. Sirius was old enough now to admit it. She was pretty. Anyone with common sense would say the same thing. It was something you couldn’t deny. Not that this meant anything more though.

And Siriuis didn’t deny it that night at that bar in Diagon Alley either. A place he never in a million years would have guessed he’d see her.

He couldn’t see what she was wearing because it was hidden from her coat, but he saw her jeans peaking out from the bottom and his mind wondered back to their Hogsmeade trips back at Hogwarts and he couldn’t help but smile as he watched her drink from her glass.

Sirius should have known immediately that there was something wrong, there was no possible reason that she would be here unless it was an emergency.

And then he remembered what his mother had said just a few hours ago.

“Did you hear? She’s being married off to Tiberius Nott. Such a shame,” his mother sighed, “I always hoped you two would sort out your differences, but I can’t blame her for not wanting you.” She said, as if it wasn’t even an option that Sirius might not want her. “Such a shame, she’s too pretty for him.”

And for once, Sirius agreed with his mother. She was too pretty for him.

So Srius sat there and pretended like he didn’t want to tell her that Nott was punching above his weight. And he watched her walk into Malfoy Manor in another tight fitted red dress and Siriuis, once more, finished his champagne in one sip.

And so, maybe, when he proposed his idea to fake date her, it came from a selfish place. But Sirius couldn’t help it. Really.

She was standing outside, her body shivering from the cold, the shoes she was wearing making her legs look they went on forever and those stupid tight dresses she wore. It made him lose all rational thought and so really, he couldn’t be to blame.

And then New Years Eve came and his stupid brother had to come in and ruin everything, even if at first he was glad for his brothers presence because just maybe he wanted an excuse to kiss her. He tried to convince himself he didn’t want to, he tried to tell himself that he saw her like a sister, but he knew it wasn’t true and in the end it didn’t even matter because she didn’t want to kiss him.

Sirius didn’t know why this upset him so much.

He had faced rejection plenty of times and it didn’t phase him, but for some reason a little hole opened in his chest when she said ‘Why would I want to kiss you?’

And then she went and got drunk and Sirius couldn’t lie. He was enjoying it. She was always harsh to him and he didn’t blame her, he could be just as mean back, but tonight, she was a little looser and Sirius didn’t know whether to be happy about having a semi normal conversation with her, or upset because there was no way he was going to be kissing her when she was this drunk and when she obviously didn’t want him to.

No, he was happy because, really, he had no interest in kissing her. Really.

And then they pulled off their fake kiss and Sirius pretended a jolt didn’t go through his body at the little noise of surprise that left her lips and he pretended he didn’t feel tingly where their foreheads met or on the palm of his hands.

And then when they went home she just had to go and remind him that she didn’t actually like him. He thought they were getting somewhere normal, but he was wrong and he was a little grumpy. He wasn’t going to lie.

And it was all so overwhelming that he forget to even think about that prank his brother had also generouosly brought up. So when he was lying in bed that night, his stomach turned itself into a knot because it had taken him almost ten years to figure out that she stopped talking to him immediately after that prank.

And then Valentine’s Day came and she was suddenly in his room that he maybe spent an extra thirty minutes making sure was presentable. And maybe he knew what he was doing when he put on his grey sweatpants.

He wasn’t sure whether or not to get her a present, but he wasn’t cruel. Besides, when he saw that outfit stuffed right at the back of the stupid muggle store he had went in with Remus, there was one person that came into his mind.

Simply because he called her princess. That was all. Really.

And he thought it was funny so he brought it over and laughed even if she was not impressed. But she was getting ready and he thought her dress was a little ridiculous and a little over the top, but it fit her nicely and his mind was still swirling with that prank from their second year so he stood beside her like a good boyfriend should and at the end of the day, he apologised.

He was surprised when she agreed to come with him to St. Patrick’s Day, but he was grateful because he was telling the truth. He really didn’t want to hear about all the people his friends were telling him about, but he left out the part that it felt wrong. It felt like cheating.

He didn’t want to get his frends involved in their fake dating scheme, but he’d rather that than trying to explain why he sudddenly, wasn’t interested in dating.

And she came in this short green dress and Sirius suddenly became a fan of green. And it was lucky he had already had four cups of firewhiskey before she arrived, otherwise he might not have been able to tell her.

And maybe that much alcohol was the reason that this was the night Sirius was finally honest with himself.

It just popped into his head.

I love her.

And he wanted to shake himself because he didn’t love her. But with her eyes sparkling as she thanked him and teased him about the last time they spoke about style he couldn’t help but hear his mother’s praise of her in his head. ‘She’s the prettiest girl I’ve seen.’

And when she was playing with Harry and he realised she was good with kids he wondered why this was a universal turn on because suddenly, he was picturing her with his kids and Sirius told himself to slow down.

And then she was sitting in his leather jacket, in his arms, talking with his friends and the thought came back to Sirius.

I love her.

No. He didn’t. But he could love her. He thought.

When she wasn’t at his throat she wasn’t that bad. And so when she left Sirius tried to explain to her that he did actually enjoy her company so maybe she wouldn’t be so harsh with him, but then he fucked it up as he usually did.

And, of course, he was beating himself up for it as soon as she left, but like she usually does, his mother just had to help break him down.

‘You’ve been going out for a while now,’ she hummed. They’d had this conversaiton plenty of times before and it always ended with ‘Don’t ruin this, Sirius.’

‘She could ruin this too, you know?’ He would reply because he knew she could be mean if she wanted to, but this time he kept quiet, because he thought maybe he had ruined it.

So Easter came and Sirius wasn’t entirely sure what his heart was doing when he saw her with Nott, but he knew it didn’t feel good. Sirius wasn’t one to feel insecure, but even he couldn’t lie and say that her and Nott didn’t look good together.

Much better than what he probably looks with her. And then they spent that night together and Sirius was sure that something had changed and he hoped it was going in the direction he wanted it to go in.

And maybe he wanted to hint at that when he asked her what she thought would have happened if he had been sorted into Slytherin. A question that had been bothering him since his first night at Hogwarts.

He laid there with his eyes closed, but he was far from sleep and so when she suddenly stopped reading he opened one eye to see her eyes closed and the book fall flat on her chest.

He smiled to himself.

He wanted to stay like this. He wanted to lie next to her and pull the blanket closer to her but he knew that wasn’t a normal thing to do. So he slowly got up and wrote a note and left it with the book.

And when he put the book on her nightstand he couldn’t help but take one last look at her.

She really was the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

And then Mother’s Day came and it seemed both of their mothers had done their best to ruin the day. And Sirius knew that she didn’t have a headache when she left and he knew he should have told her that his mother wanted her to come over, but how could he explain that that would make it too real?

That seeing her get along with his mother did something weird to him that he couldn’t quite explain and thinking about marriage made his stomach do a flip because Sirius had spent his whole life being uninterested in marriage, but now, he couldn’t get it out of hs head.

And then the Engagement came and Sirius had never felt so insecure. Why was she being so cruel? And why did he want to do nothing other than go and comfort her when she was crying and asking to break up? He was sure they were going in a good direction, but he suddenly felt like he was twelve years old all over again trying to imagine what could have possibly happened that made her stop talking to him.

Then it was her birthday and Sirius was kicking himself because he had been preparing her present since Easter and it felt wrong not to give it to her. He wanted to give it to her on her actual birthday, but then he saw her with Nott and he saw that necklace on her that he had never seen before and suddenly the two books in his hand looked pathetic, so he hid it behind the corner of her house and tried to act like everything was normal when he came over and spoke to her.

Sure, maybe it was weird for him to be doing this. But it was her birthday and he felt like shit and he still wasn’t sure what went wrong and maybe, he was going a little crazy because this was the second time she had done this to him and a part of him needed to know this wasn't his fault.

And Father’s Day came. He had heard a rumour that Nott was going to propose. His mother had been telling one of the other mother’s about it and Sirius had heard when he went to get a glass of water in the kitchen even though his mother changed the topic mid sentence as soon as she saw him walk into the kitchen.

She’ll say no. Was the first thought he had, but really, he couldn’t be sure. She just wanted that respectable and comfortable life that he, obviously, couldn’t provide.

That was, untl, she was at his door, her makeup smudged and her bottom lip trembling as she recalled what had happened. And Sirius would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to hear this.

And then, they were centimetres away and Sirius wanted nothing more than to kiss her. They hadn’t spoken in almost a month and he was the first person she thought to come see seconds after she declined a marriage proposal, so Sirius didn’t think it unlikely that she wanted to kiss him too. But she was very fragile and if Sirius was gonig to do this, he was going to do this right. She deserved that.

And he felt so confident in this choice until she hurriedly ran out and Sirius was ready to grovel to ensure she would forgive him for what he now understood was a mistake.

So when Sirius was trying to figure out what to dress as for Halloween, he took a gamble and went as a prince, only for the gamble to pay off when he saw her come as a princess. And even with the frown tugging on her lips, he still thought she was the prettiest princess he had ever seen.

And on his birthday when she finally became his princess, he suddenly felt infinitely lighter. Until he saw that picture of her in that princess outfiit he had provided her with. That one went straight into his drawer so only he would ever see that.

Sirius was never one to feel insecure, but if you were to tell him that he was punching above his weight with her, he wouldn’t disagree. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and he made sure that he told her that every single time he saw her, because he was sure he would die if he ever lost her again.

And he couldn’t help but laugh when he took those photos off his mirror of the girls on the motorbikes because he was sure that they would stay there forever. But they got replaced and Sirius was reminded everyday of how lucky he was.

And when they were finally married and Sirius reailsed he probably should thank his mother. He was sure that without her constant nagging of her beauty, he still would have thought she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, but maybe he would have needed a push into that direction. Because she was definitely out of hs league.

And he realised she was right. That smile would get her in trouble. But it also got him in trouble, because his mother was right. How could anyone ever say no to her?

And Sirius finally got to wake up to her every morning and he wanted to tell his younger self that unfortunately, she was perfect, and even if in the morning she woke up with the short hairs that framed her face hanging in all directions, and even if she stll had sleep in her eyes and morning breath, she still was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

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