#saying my love aloud

[tinababeh]

Four Years Today

I'm not going to write at length about how different this year particularly feels, but today, my heart and focus is with my dad. Four years have passed since he left, and in that time, I’ve begun to see my path with more clarity. I carry the dreams and struggles of those who came before me, but I also feel a quiet resolve to break the patterns that weighed heavily on our family.

My dad, with all his complexity, shaped me in ways that continue to allow me to move forward, even through the unknown. He was brilliant and flawed, and I loved him entirely. I've come to understand that real love is about accepting someone in their entirety—their light and their subjective darkness. But this doesn’t mean accepting harm. While I believe in embracing the fullness of who someone is, it’s important to understand that there are boundaries—abuse and toxicity can never be part of that acceptance.

As much as we strive to create a safe environment for ourselves and others, there has to be a reflection of kindness and respect, like holding a mirror between us. What we give, we should also receive. So I choose to be kind. I choose to move forward with love. Even in the face of darkness, I accept it, knowing it’s part of me, part of us. If we’re self-aware, we can give ourselves and others the room to change, to grow, and to learn from one another. That’s where the real strength lies.

Today, I was reminded why some connections fade while others endure. The people who stay, even after seeing your subjective darkness, are rare and precious. They hold space for your true self, seeing your value, your intent, and your impact. That reflection from others—being seen in my whole self—makes me love them even more. One of my closest friends reminded me of this today. She knew how difficult this day would be, and when I couldn’t follow through on our plans, she simply encouraged me to take care of myself. No guilt, no pressure—just acceptance.

In that moment, I was reminded of what my dad gave me too: the freedom to be myself, to think for myself, and to grow. Those who stay, who continue to stand by me, give me the privilege of witnessing their greatness, just as they witness mine. It’s not about perfection, but about the journey we share. This year, I’m learning to show up for myself in a bigger way, so that I can be there for others.

I am deeply grateful for this moment in my life, for the shift that has allowed me to move forward, even as I carry the weight of loss. My dad didn’t do everything perfectly, but he gave me so much. He always supported my love for video games, spoiling me and my sister with the best tech. I’ll never forget how he cheered us on when we dominated the ranks in Dead or Alive Ultimate 2. And of course, I always teased him because I could always beat him at games. That playful banter was part of our connection, and despite his struggles, he gave me the freedom to think for myself. Even when we disagreed, he respected that I had my own mind.

Now, with the clarity of time, I see his efforts in a deeper way. He gave me the space to define my own values, to stand firm in what I believed, and to question what mattered. Those challenges shaped me, and for that, I’m grateful.

There are moments, sometimes the smallest things, that bring me back to him. I played The Last of Us 2 a few months before he passed, and it left a lasting impression on me. A symbol—of loss, resilience, and the complexity of life. Four years later, I’ve learned to live with his absence, but the pain never truly fades. In that quiet pain, I find strength—the strength he helped me recognize within myself.

My dad gave me the tools to see my own strength, and now I move forward with that power. He’s a part of me, but I know that it’s my journey to walk, my choices to make, and my strength that carries me. Wherever I go from here, it’s with the confidence that I am enough, and that I have the ability to keep going, no matter what comes.

I'll love you always, Dad.

[easyaesthetics]

Shuake & tweets - Happy 11/20!!!

[streetcorner-2inthemorning]

Thinking about how in season 2, the Doctor asked Rose "How long are you going to stay with me?" He could have asked her that in so many ways. "How long do you want to travel with me?" "When do you want to go home?" But he chose those words specifically. And Rose could have answered in just as many ways. "As long as I live." "As long as you'll have me." But instead she said one word. "Forever."

And the sad thing is that her answer was truer than any other answer she could have given. Because whether she realized it or not she wasn't saying how long they would be together. She was telling him how long she would be with him. As a memory, as a ghost, in his hearts. No matter who the Doctor is or how old they get, somewhere deep inside their soul, Rose will remain. Forever.

[hikaruchen]

I believe the king of Wessex cares for you.

[vickyvicarious]

I know you will be anxious to hear all that has happened since we parted at the railway station at Whitby.

When you know this was the last time they ever saw one another...

[aseuki]

It's time!!

Sharing my contribution to the Umbral Wings Tarot Deck with my art for the Knight of Water!

The campaign's in the final stretch and the deck is fully funded! 🎉🎉🎉 If you wanted to get your hands on some truly phenomenal artwork, I highly suggest checking it out! ���

Here's the link once more in case you missed it: 👉 [Link]

Going to dip a little bit into the designmaking process itself under the cut!

The Knight of Water is thematically about sensitivity. Charm, romance imagination-as a person, it's about a 'knight in shining armor' type character who may help others with the matters of the heart.

I also wanted to note that another cool thing about this deck is that the artists were designated their suit depending on their art and rendering style! The Air suit focuses on more atmospheric type art, Fire is character symbolism driven, in the Earth suit you'll se a lot of traditional-style rendering, and in the Water suit you'll see a lot more anime-inspired art styles!

With these factors in mind, I wanted a composition that would pay homage to the classic anime bishoujo genre--sailor moon and utena played heavily into the design and composition--something with lots of sparkles, atmospheric framing, a pretty waterfall to tie in the elemental theme, and lots and lots (and LOTS) of roses. (Fun fact! If you look at each rose, they have a heart in the centre! Each one was carefully and painstakingly hand drawn!). The pose that was chosen for this card was also a direct homage to the classic Sailor Moon style transformation sequences (and also swan mating dances with the wings), with the element of a 'bleeding heart' visual cue so to speak with the red roses and petals to the chest haha--it was fun going through different pose ideas before settling on this one! Roses and thorns go hand in hand, so thorny vines were also added at the bottom so that they become more evident when the card is inverted! (The inverted card speaks of emotional upset, depression, hypersensitivity, and lashing out)

For the dragon design itself, I took the 'prince on a white horse' and 'knight in shining armor' aspect and meshed them with leafy and weedy sea dragons and betta fish from real life to make a unicorn-like design--a creature that is traditionally associated with sensitivity and emotions--with a classic anime magical girl spin. I wanted the design to look ethereal and noble, and still clearly a dragon instead of a horse! (It was trickier than one might think!)

That's all the notes I have at the moment! Overall this was an Incredibly fun project to think through, I know I've been absolutely vibrating off the walls to share this haha! Everyone else has also brought their A game to each card in this deck, be sure to check them out through the KS link when you can, I can assure you that each and every card is just as lovingly rendered as this one!

[thevioletcaptain]

it's nearing midnight and once again the loudspeaker in my brain is just running "i should have said i love you too and hugged him" on an endlessly repeating loop.

[ambivartence]

local man's idol-husband concept contradicts itself, forced to become your mom instead

[k1ngl30n]

But the stains are black -- just like your soul You tried to cut them out but you get left there all alone...

Sorry, it's their song, guys. I don't make the rules but I bet you wish I did

(I talk in the tags so if you want more, keep reading, lmao)

[cobra-wives]

serious philosophical question; should one of us kick the bucket?

small comic page thingy for the INSANE fic that is zelotypia by @terrence-silver - i definitely recommend giving it a read! so much interesting perspective on that ponytail-kreese-twig trio goodness; and terry’s inner workings and detestment for everyone that john loves more than him!

[linka-from-captain-planet]

after careful review, these are my selections for the most I Need Her minor NPC from each Dragon Age game

[extreme-technicality]

Dorian felt guilty holding Orym post confession because for just a moment he had the thought that he was glad Will died send tweet

[hythlodaes]

when I try to guess your trajectory I end up telling my own story…

thank you so much @pebsterino for this gorgeous commission of emile and estinien <3

[great-tusk]

ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.

[aromanticasterisms]

this whole epilogue is just a little treat for me oh my god. "familiar faces arrive in simulanka" does not even begin to cover it

[quillkiller]

thinking about them..