#say i reach home at 6 from my day job and need to sleep at 10 in order to wake up at 6 the next day to get a full 8 hour

[jjngkook7]

Choices (7)

Werewolf Au! Jungkook x Reader / Enemies to Lovers [Angst and mature content. Not smut but almost smut.]

Summary: Jungkook finally found her. His mate. His lifelong partner. But she’s a human. Does he have to stay with her or can he stick it to whatever and whoever binds mates together and make his own decision?

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

You groaned as you finally shut off your alarm. After hitting the snooze button four times, you only had 30 minutes to get ready for work. As you dragged yourself out of bed and into your washroom, you thought about your dream last night. It was still a nightmare but not as gruesome as it usually was. Entering your washroom, you grimaced at the person staring back at you in the mirror. Your eyebags were heavy and your skin flat and colorless. Due to your inability to get up on time, you could only afford to wash your face and brush your hair if you wanted to at least have a coffee before work. Oh, the joys of Monday’s.

It seemed like your morning really set a precedent on how the rest of your day was going to be. You were 15 minutes late to work because of traffic, you forgot about a meeting that you set up and lunch was a bag of chips because you forgot your wallet at home. Needing to leave the chaos of the office, you decided to eat your sad lunch at a park. You ignored how cold your bottom was getting against the park bench as you watched the people around you go about their day.

“Rough day at the office?” an all too familiar voice asked.

You looked up and locked eyes with Jungkook. Great, now I'm hallucinating. If having visions of Jungkook wasn’t bad enough already, he looked better than you remembered. His hair was a little longer now and his eyes bright amber.

“Hello?” Jungkook waved his hand in front of you.

You reached out and grabbed his hand. A jolt of electricity shoots through you.

“Oh you are real…oh my god! You’re-what are you doing here?!” it felt like you had just went through all five stages of grief in a nanosecond.

Jungkook watched in real time as the sleep vanishes from your eyes. He waits for you to collect yourself before taking a seat next to you on the bench. His body shivered not from the cold but from the sudden energy radiating between both of you. After being away for so long, he forgot just how strong the pull of a mate was.

“Aren't you cold?” you asked bewildered by how he was only in a long sleeve and jeans.

Jungkook wanted to laugh. He knew you were probably freezing from how pale your fingers were. He also noticed the tiredness on your face and wondered if you had been sleeping at all.

“How long do you have left for your lunch break?” he asked, ignoring your question.

“20 minutes.” you replied.

Jungkook nods and quickly tried to figure out how to tell you that your life was in danger and that the only way to save you was to live with him for a bit and let him mark you.

“I think we’re going to need more than 20 minutes,” he says.

Jungkook was able to explain the situation to you within 20 minutes, leaving out the part where he had to mark you. The argument that happened afterwards lasted 30 minutes. You couldn’t just move to the mountains when you had a job to show up to and who was going to pay rent for the unit you were already living in? In the same breath, Jungkook explained that it was dangerous to live so close to civilization in case there was an attack and shared how much he didn’t want to live with you.

“Do you not hear the absurdity of what you’re asking me to do?” you argued.

“Do you think I want to do this?” Jungkook sneered.

“Then don’t!” you exclaimed.

“Fine!” he shouted, matching the volume of your voice.

“Fine!” you shouted back before marching back to your office, your bag of chips forgotten on the bench.

__________________________________

Jungkook adjusted his cap as he waited for you to leave your house. He rolled his eyes when he heard your alarm ring for the third time signifying that you had no intention of getting up. You’re going to be late again idiot.

After your guys’ encounter at the park, Namjoon reamed Jungkook out for being stubborn and doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do. They came up with a compromise that Jungkook hated even more than the original plan. Night and day, Jungkook would essentially watch you from afar in case a rogue decided to attack. He’d follow you to work, to the grocery store and home. At night, Jungkook would make rounds around your neighborhood until late and then head back to his own home before repeating it all again the next day. Before he knew it, Jungkook's life revolved around you now.

“One more snooze and you would’ve been screwed.” Jungkook grinned when you opened the door.

Biting your tongue, you locked the front door before making your way past him. You were already running on a couple hours of sleep and seeing Jungkook’s shit eating grin this early in the morning made you want to scream. Unbeknownst to Jungkook, your sleep schedule had gotten worse now that you knew your life was at risk. If you were lucky, you’d only wake up twice in the night. Despite the lack of privacy, knowing that Jungkook was around just in case anything happened did give you some sort of reassurance. You’d never admit it to anyone, but you kind of liked having him around. Sure, he’d make your anger spike anytime he spoke but his presence added some excitement to your daily mundane routine. When you were out and about, you’d try to spot him in a crowd like a game of “Where’s Waldo”. It was getting harder for Jungkook to hide his amusement anytime you would find him because when you did, you’d stick out your tongue at him. He did noticed that you continued to look more and more tired than before. He had wondered what was causing you so much stress but pushed the thought away because that wasn’t part of the job description.

As you stood in front of your office building, you turned your head to see where Jungkook was. Scanning through the crowd of people on their way to work, you finally locked eyes with him and inhaled sharply. It was always a sensation overload whenever you looked at him because his amber eyes would pierce right through you. After the initial shock, a smile crept onto your face. Jungkook was trying to keep a low profile with his all black outfit and baseball cap but he didn’t realize how much he stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone bustling through were clad in thick winter coats and layers upon layers just to keep warm yet there he was standing at the end of the block with nothing but a black flannel button up and jeans. With one more glance, you made your way into your building excited to see him again later. Once you were out of sight, Jungkook immediately made a quick dash back to your house. Last night, Jungkook picked up the faintest scent of a rogue, but this morning the smell strong and near.

As he approached your home, he slowed down and tried to process what he was smelling and sensing carefully. Fortunately, he only picked up the scent of one rogue but the claw marks on the side of your house and fresh tracks in the snow meant that Jungkook was a little too late.

Usually, Jungkook kept his distance when he would follow you around but something must’ve happened between the morning and now because he was walking right beside you. It wasn’t the brushing of your bodies when you bumped into each other that formed the butterflies in your stomach but his hand on your lower back leading you home that did it. Jungkook kept you almost right up against him and you felt embarrassed for relishing in both his touch and smell. It was concerning how much you didn’t care about your safety when being this close to him felt so good. On the flipside, Jungkook could not afford to have his attention waver for even a second. He had to somehow cut through all the sounds and smells of the city just to pick up a stray whiff of any rogues. Jungkook was glad to have his attention focused elsewhere than on how your body was reacting to him. If he thought about it too much, his ego would grow too large for him to handle. You were usually so difficult to deal with and so stubborn but all he had was one hand on your lower back and you were compliant to his every word. Would you still be such a pain in the ass if you were under him? Could you possibly talk back if you were writhing from his touch? And what could you possibly say when he’s shoved down your throat?

“Do not open the door unless it’s me.” Jungkook ordered before pushing you into your house and slamming the door shut.

You take a moment to calm your heart. All you could think about was how his hand eventually wrapped around your waist and how strong his grip was. Once the high wore off, you dragged yourself upstairs to get ready for your night feeling less scared than you should. If Jungkook could muster through his hatred for you to keep you safe on the way home, you knew that you were in good hands.

You stirred awake and checked the time on your phone. 2:05am. You plopped your head back onto your pillow and tried to get back to sleep. You tried to still your mind but the heavy pitter patter against your window made it hard to do. Guess I'm awake now. Luckily, you didn't have work tomorrow so you and your insomnia could be friends for a night. You sat up and ran a hand through your hair as you stared out the window. You wondered if Jungkook was still outside or if he went home. If he was still here, he'd be soaked to the bone. Do werewolves catch colds? Putting on your slippers, you made your way to the front door and opened it. You scanned the driveway and sidewalk but with how heavy the rain was falling, it was hard to see. You took a step outside to see if he was around the corner but before you could turn your head, Jungkook himself appeared from the other side of where you were looking.

"I thought I told you not to open this door." he sighed annoyingly.

You felt your throat go dry when you saw him. He was dripping from head to toe and you envied the way his shirt clung onto his body.

"It's raining really hard and I didn't know if you were still outside." you said after prying your eyes away from his body.

"I told you to keep the door closed unless it's for me." he argued.

"Yeah well it is for you because I wanted to check up on you, god." you bite back. Jungkook had such a sour attitude but he truly was such a sight for your sore tired eyes.

You look over his shoulder and see that the rain was pouring even harder with no plans to stop. Had he just been patrolling your place since you finished work? Supernatural or not, Jungkook shouldn't be standing around in this weather.

"You should come in and rest." you said, after much consideration.

Jungkook immediately shook his head and backed away from you, "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're soaking wet! And besides, you've been roaming around for hours and if my neighbours get suspicious they might call the cops." you challenged.

Jungkook falls silent and you see his eyes shift from side to side, trying to look for something that wasn't there.

"Jungkook you've been out here since I got home. Whatever's out there would've gotten you by now. Please, just come inside and dry off for a little bit," you plead, "I won't be able to sleep knowing you're just out in the rain for no reason."

I'm out here for you. You're the fucking reason. Jungkook chewed the inside of his cheeks in thought. The invitation was tempting. He was absolutely exhausted and after staring at the dark day in and day out, his mind was starting to play tricks on him. Protecting you was one thing but his pride was bruised. All he did for the past few hours was ruminate on how he didn't see or smell the rogue. He wanted to crush the thing and kill it with his bare hands to make up for his inattentiveness, but he was tired. You took his silence as compliance and stepped aside so he could come in. Before Jungkook could mentally brace himself, the overwhelming smell of you sent his senses into overdrive. He placed a hand against the wall and took deep breaths. Every time he inhaled, it felt like his brain was going to pop out of his skull. The lights were too bright, the sound of the rain too loud and your scent was so strong he could almost taste you.

"Are you okay...?" you asked as you slowly closed the door.

Jungkook's back and the tension throughout his body brought you back to when you found him in that abandoned shed. You mentally cursed wondering if tonight was going to be another repeat. To your surprise, Jungkook managed to compose himself and turned around to face you. From how his usual amber eyes were now maroon, you knew he still wasn't quite back.

"W-where is your washroom? I'm going to clean up." he asked, his voice strained.

You direct him to your washroom and watch as he staggered away. When you heard the sink turn on, you quickly ran to your room to grab what you could to prepare the sofa for him. As you searched through your closet for an extra blanket, it quickly dawned on you that Jungkook was in your house and was going to stay the night. Suddenly, you were hyper aware of all the embarrassing things you owned. When you finally found your extra blanket, you suppressed a groan at the Sanrio characters decorating the duvet. He's here to rest not judge your choice of home decor. You grab a pillow from your bed and made your way back to the living room. As you were setting up the couch, you noticed the mess of cups and candy wrappers on the coffee table. If you knew that you would house a werewolf that was supposedly your soulmate, you would've cleaned up a bit more. Pushing the thought away, you made your way towards the bathroom where Jungkook hadn't made a sound. He's not dead is he? You took a deep breath before bravely poking your head through the door to check on him. The sight before you literally stole the inhale you had just taken away. You had imagined Jungkook shirtless many times before but your imagination was truly nothing compared to what he looked like in real life. Jungkook was leaned over the sink, his wet shirt by his feet as he wiped his chest with your towel with one hand. Every time he brushed his hand against his body, the muscles in his arms flexed. The raindrops cascading down the curves of his shoulder blades and back polluted your mind with lewd scenarios.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Jungkook scoffed.

You mumbled a pathetic apology as your eyes continued trailing down his body. The deep gash on his arm reeled you out of your perverted psyche. Without thinking, you quickly approached him and inspected his wound.

"Jungkook, you need to go to the hospital." you gasp at how torn up his arm looked.

"Please." Jungkook almost laughed.

You shoot him a look and push him aside to grab the first aid kit under the sink. Jungkook watched in amusement as you rummaged through your kit to find something to treat his wound. You seemed to forget that he was not of this world. This injury would heal in a week and a bandaid was not going to help.

"Give me you arm." you demanded setting a tube of polysporin and bandage wraps on the counter.

Jungkook raised his brow, "Are you going to make me a bowl of chicken noodle soup and put on my favourite cartoon as well?"

How this asshole was your soulmate was beyond you by how quickly he was able to bring you to anger within seconds. Jungkook could hate you all he wanted, but he didn't have to make you feel useless while doing so. For the past week and a half, he was literally supervising you like you were a child and it made you feel so foolish.

"Can you just let me do something for once? Just let me-" you exhaled with closed eyes, "let me feel like I'm helping for once."

Jungkook let out a sarcastic "ok" and surrendered his arm to you. You unscrewed the cap from the polysporin and wanted to kick yourself for dropping it during the process. It was really hard to focus when he was staring at you in his shirtless glory. Ignoring the fallen cap, you pushed out the ointment onto your finger and reached for his arm. The jolt you usually received whenever you guys touched made you flinch.

"You're okay." Jungkook encouraged after feeling the power from the shock himself.

Biting your lower lip, you gently grabbed his arm again and waited a few seconds for the sensation to pass before rubbing the medicine onto his cut. Jungkook watched are you carefully tended to him. In his absorption of your actions, he couldn't feel the corner of his lip turning upwards and the silencing of his mind. All he could hear was your breathing and if he focused a little more, the fluttering of your eyelashes as you blinked. It was endearing watching you meticulously layer the bandage perfectly on his arm. The treatment you were giving Jungkook was going to do absolutely nothing for him besides make him itchy. His species didn't heal like humans. They were able to heal on their own and if they were mated, their healing time was even quicker. You released the bite you had on your lower lip once you successfully wrapped him up.

"I'll let you do your own thing now," you laughed awkwardly stepping away from him, "There are extra towels under the sink and the sofa is all set up for you."

Jungkook holds your eyes for a few seconds and you see that they're back to their usual amber colour.

"Goodnight," he nods.

"Goodnight," you repeat before retreating back to your room.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you slept through the night.

You woke up a lot earlier than you intended to but you felt refreshed. You didn't have any nightmares, in fact, you didn't dream at all. You graciously welcomed the daylight that usually disturbed your already horrible sleep shining through your window. As you put on your slippers, the butterflies in your stomach swarmed when you remembered that Jungkook had slept over. You sat on the edge of your bed and slapped your cheeks from how hard you were grinning. He was probably gone by now but you were going to spend the whole weekend replaying last night in privacy. You giddily swing your bedroom door open and immediately froze. You held your breath and didn't move a single muscle as to not wake the sleeping Jungkook on your couch. After an agonizing minute, you quietly approached him with pursed lips. He was sound asleep with his mouth slightly agape. When Jungkook wasn't speaking or awake in general, he sure looked like an angel. The skittish grin you had on earlier crept back at the sight of him all curled up in your Sanrio blanket. Jungkook rarely let his guard down yet here he was sleeping so peacefully in your home. He had to ability to hear a pin drop in a crowded room so judging by how he didn't wake up from the slight noises you made, poor guy was probably drained. You desperately fought the desire to brush his bangs away from his eyes and left to go wash up instead.

You rolled your eyes when you see the bandage you so caringly put on Jungkook last night in the garbage next to your toilet. You couldn't at least flush it down or hide it? Ass. Still, he let you tend to him and that was good enough for you. Jungkook was still asleep by the time you finished your morning routine. You crept back into your room and decided to clean up. You had completely ignored the state of your home with the little sleep you were getting every night. You looked over to your laundry basket by the window that had been taunting you for weeks and decided to finally tackle it. Sitting down in front of it, you began to sort your white and coloured clothes. As you thought about the things you wanted to get done today, you began to feel excited about the prospect of having a productive weekend when your bedroom door suddenly swung open, the hinges breaking in the process. A frantic looking Jungkook entered followed by a curse when he saw where you positioned.

"Get behind me right now!" he shouted.

Your body and brain freezes from the sudden shock, "W-what?"

"Can you fucking listen to me for once and just-"

Your bedroom window shatters and a black mass breaks through. A scream emits from you when the rogue snaps at your arms. You scramble backwards as the creature attempts to wedge its body through the fracture it created. If you were any closer, you would've been a goner. The absolute depravity of the monster fills your entire body up with fear as flashbacks from the first time you ever encountered a rogue replay in your mind. You couldn't feel your legs and all you could do was scramble back as far as you could go. Tears immediately flood your eyes when the creature snarls and breaks free of the glass that was holding it back. There was absolutely nothing you could do as the creature lunges towards you, the smile it has on it's face seared into your brain. Another scream escapes from you as Jungkook grabs its neck and slams it onto your bedroom floor. Your stomach turns when you see it squirm abnormally under his grasp. The rogue produces high pitched cackling as Jungkook delivers blow after blow to its face.

"Close your eyes." Jungkook orders and you do as you're told.

You choke out a sob when you hear the sick animal laugh as Jungkook tears its flesh apart and breaks its bones. Eventually, the room falls silent but you keep your eyes shut afraid of what you might see. You jump when Jungkook places his hands on your arms.

"Hey it's just me, it's me. It's okay, it's over now." he attempts to soothe you while grabbing your hands, halting your useless attempts to push him away.

When you finally come to, you grab onto him and push your face into his chest. Jungkook tells you to keep your eyes closed as he carries you into the living room, not wanting you to see the aftermath of what he did. He holds your trembling body as tightly as he can and waits for your sobbing to subside. Once he hears your sobs turn into sniffles, he lifts your face from your hands and through your teary vision, you see an apologetic expression plastered on his face.

"I'm packing a bag for you. Tell me what you need, we leave in 20 minutes." he says.

You try to fight against his hold, but he's much stronger than you.

"Jungkook! I can't leave-I can't-"

"We don't have a choice now," he says, his voice soft as ever, "this is the only way I can protect you."

[nicoline1998enilocin]

I FOUND IT, I FOUND THE IDEA I NEEDED FOR A REQUEST.

Oke Listen...

Ready?!

Bucky and Reader take care of a baby and Bucky holds the little toddler in his arms and takes care of that sweet little one. And the toddler is absolutely in love with Bucky and his metal arm like Reader is.

Please with sooo much fluff as much as you can?🥺🥺

Babysitting duty

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1K

SUMMARY | Andy has asked you to babysit for him while he is away on trial, and you couldn't be more excited about it. You didn't tell Bucky since it was such last minute, but he absolutely adores the little girl you're babysitting, and couldn't be happier to see how good you are with kids.

WARNING(S) | None.

A/N | Thank you so so much for this sweet request, I've tried to shove as much tooth rottingly sweet fluff in here as I possibly could! I hope it is everything you've thought of and more, and I can't wait to see what other ideas you come up with in the future! 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

You're getting ready to go grocery shopping for Bucky's return from his mission when your phone suddenly rings. You look at it and see it's Andy Barber, your good friend, so you pick it up.

''Hi Andy, is everything okay?'' you ask, wondering why he would call you in the middle of the day.

''Hi Y/N, yeah, no, uhm… I know this is a little… last minute, but could you watch Ivy for a few days? I must go to trial with my client and can't take her. I'll pay you double what I would usually pay you as compensation,'' he tells you, and you just smile.

''It's okay, Andy, you don't have to pay me double. I'd absolutely love to watch Ivy. When do you need me to pick her up?'' you ask.

''You're a true lifesaver right now; I was honestly running out of options here,'' he sighs. ''If you could pick her up tonight, you would be a huge help,''.

''Alright, I'll see you around 6 PM, okay? That way, she can sleep at my house, and we don't have to wake her for transport,''.

With that, you change your grocery shopping plans; instead of buying food for 2 people, you're getting it for 3, so little Ivy can eat too. The shopping trip is going smoothly; before you know it, you're back home.

You already went to the attic to get the foldable bed you use every time you babysit and set it up in your and Bucky's bedroom.

Next are some toys you like to keep around, even though Andy always lets Ivy bring some.

When all that is done, the apartment is getting clean and tidy; when that's done, it's time to pick up the little girl.

When you arrive at Andy's house, he quickly opens the door with his daughter on his hip, tightly holding her favorite stuffed animal in anticipation of who's ringing their doorbell.

''Y/N, please come in! You're an absolute lifesaver right now,'' Andy says as he lets you into the house.

''It's not a problem at all; you know how much Bucky and I love this little Munchkin right here,'' you say as you pinch her cheeks softly.

She reaches her arms out for you, and you take her from Andy's arms, so he can get all her things ready.

''Are you ready to come to sleep with me and Uncle Bucky for a few days? You say, "We have missed you so much!'' she nods.

''Sweep with you,'' she repeats.

''Yes, sleep with me! Good job!'' you praise her as you walk over to Andy, who is just grabbing some clothes for her.

''How long do you think you'll be gone for?'' you ask, eyeing the pile of clothes he's packing. ''You know we have a washing machine, right? You don't need to pack up her entire wardrobe,'' you chuckle.

''I'm sorry, it's just… It's so last minute, and I feel bad that I had to ask you like that,'' he says, but you reassure him it's okay.

''We don't mind, Andy, not even in the slightest.''

When everything is packed up, and Andy has said his goodbyes to Ivy, you head to your house. She is already sleeping in the car, so you transfer her to the bed when you arrive.

You turned on the baby monitor and grabbed a glass of wine in the kitchen, sitting down with your drink and a book, enjoying your evening.

''Are you excited to pick up Uncle Bucky today?'' you ask her after you dress her in one of the outfits Andy packed.

''Unnel Buck!'' she says, not quite getting the hang of the word ''Uncle'' yet, but it is absolutely adorable.

You arrive at the Compound a little earlier than expected, and the Avengers aren't back yet, so you decide to wait in Bucky's room - which he barely uses since the two of you moved into your apartment together - with Ivy.

When FRIDAY showed that the Quinjet was about to land, you approached the hangar, ready to greet Bucky and all the other Avengers.

Ivy had spotted him before you did and was wildly waving her arms to be held by him.

''Hi, little troublemaker! It's nice to see you again!'' Bucky said after he picked up his pace a little and jogged over to where the two of you were standing.

''Andy had to go to trial for a few days, so I agreed to watch her for him while he's gone,'' you explain, and Bucky takes her out of your arms.

''Unnel Buck!'' she coos as she pets his long hair, earning her a big smile from the super soldier.

''Hi, little Ivy, I missed you! Are you ready to come home with me and Auntie Y/N?'' he asks, and she coos a yes at him.

When the three of you arrive at the car, Bucky puts her in the car seat before moving to the passenger seat, dropping into it with all his weight.

''Arm, arm, arm!'' she says as the three of you are back at your apartment, and you both know she's entirely in awe by Bucky's arm.

''Arm…'' she says softly as Bucky holds out his Vibranium hand for her to hold and to look over before her gaze moves over to the rest of his arm.

''I still think it's the cutest thing ever, how much she loves your arm! She has good taste,'' you say with a wink, making Bucky blush slightly.

''Alright, I believe it is time for a nap, troublemaker,'' he says before scooping her up with the metal arm and bringing her to bed.

He walks back into the kitchen when she's asleep and gives you a proper hello. He grabs your cheeks in his hands and brings your face to his, meeting in the middle for a deep, passionate kiss.

''I love you so much, doll. I can't wait to have a little one of our own one day,'' he says, pulling you closer and capturing your lips again.

[heelovver]

~Super shy~

Hi~ ❤︎₊ ⊹

I ’m new here, hopefully you enjoy my writing thanks for reading

Pairing: EnemySunghoon x reader/afab

Genre: smut, enemies to lovers

Summery: Sunghoon and you have been enemies since childhood. Sunghoon was always rude to all the girls, and you always defended them. Sunghoon can’t stand fake girls who look for his attention that’s why he bothers you so much. You don’t treat him like a piece of meat. He only has eyes for you but you only know how to talk his ears off so he has to stop it somehow.

Warning: sexual themes, fingering, unprotected sex (rap it before you tap it), making out.

Not proofread

~❤︎~ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧ ‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ₊ ˚‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧˚₊‧~❤︎~

Life since childhood has always been interesting. You always had good friends. You were well known and respected. You always did your best and acted accordingly. There is just one thing that has always bothered you. Park Sunghoon and his stupid face, stupid grades, and stupid attitude. You always came second place from him. He didn’t even try so why can’t you beat him. He just sleeps and you study your ass off day and night. He wasn’t even nice and everyone liked him while you had to suck up and fake it. Him and his stupid attitude towards everything. “Good job Sunghoon you got the highest graded essay.” “Thanks I guess”

It was a typical Friday evening 6:43PM to be exact. You just wanted to get your lecture over with and go home to sleep before the weekend. So why at this moment do you want to kick Park Sunghoon right in the balls. He is staring at you with that same old smirk he always had. It just so happens Sunghoon has to have the same class. Being the last person to leave due to taking extra notes. You pack your bag and head out. Standing there blocking the door not letting you leave. “Hey miss second place” he says while smirking. That stupid nickname he’d given you since elementary school all the way until now, college. “Go away idiot.” You reply glaring up at him. “Why do you try so hard when you know you can’t beat me darling?” You chose to ignore him and step on his feet. “Ouch” he bite his lip in pain. “Move or I’ll do way worse than that.” “So much attitude when I’m just trying to wish you luck on the exam. I Which you’ll need it.” Pissed you shove him away and speed walk to your car. Getting into your car driving away furious. “His Stupid, stupid, stupid smirk. Don’t let him in your head he just wants to get under your skin you’re way too old to fall for his stupid tricks.”

Saturday a night of studying in the library. Waking up then doing nothing the whole day made you feel lazy. Study was your only way of being productive. Sitting in the back studying for your upcoming exam. You feel someone sit next to you. “Miss second place studying on the weekend typical when you have no life.” Sunghoon sits grabbing onto the book you were reading. “Leave me alone or I swear I’ll mess that pretty face of yours up.” You tried to grab your book back. “You think I’m pretty thanks” he lifts the book out of your reach. You sit with your knees on the couch turning to him reaching for your book. “This is what happens when you never drink your milk in middle school.” Your face turns serious. Leaning back he toys with the book in front of your face. You harshly push him down to try and grab your book back. With that you fall in between his legs, your hands beside his head, face to face in shock. “S-sorry.” You say after what felt like hours which really was 4 seconds. He wraps his arm around your waist and lifts you both up. “Here” he looks up and sees your pout the kind of pout that makes Sunghoon flustered. He hands you your book and leaves. “Why is my heart beating so much and why did his stupid eyes look so so- shut up don’t think about that back to studying” you think to yourself before plugging your EarPods on playing your playlist and studying.

It was the day of the exam. You feel so tired from your late night study sech. Your handed your test looking at it and thinking it’s easy. “Thank god I studied” you thought to yourself. An hour passed your almost done just 14 questions left. From the corner of your eyes you see someone stand up handing in their test. Of course it was Sunghoon. Him and his idgaf face walking out of the class after handing in his paper. “How did he finish so fast. What a show off” you thought to yourself before rushing. “5 minutes left” your professor yelled warning everyone. Your focus gone over thinking every question you answered. “Fuck only 5 minutes and 3 questions left.” You muttered then bit your lips and answered with the best of your abilities. “Please hand in your exams placing them on my desk.” You stand up knowing you didn’t even get to do your best. Thinking “I did all that studying for nothing” feeling overwhelmed you packed your bags slowly. Tears threatening to spill out. Being last again in the class you didn’t care and tears started streaming out. “Stupid Sunghoon who only needs an hour when I can’t even finish within the time.” You muttered wiping your tears. You walked towards the door opening it just for somebody to block your way. Looking up it was of course Sunghoon. “We already know you got second plac-.” He looks down at you. You and your teary eyes, tear stained cheeks and that pout.

It’s always that stupid pout on your face that makes him dizzy and flustered. Ever since you guys were young one look at your face and he’d felt like the worst person in the world. He never told you of course. He was supposed to like being your #1 hated person, you guys are enemies. Why did he feel so guilty though why must he want to cheer you up.

Flashback: “hey can I play with you” Yunjin asked Sunghoon. “No” “Hey! you’re supposed to share” you yelled after seeing Yunjin cry. “I don’t want to” Sunghoon gave you a smug look. “My mom said sharing is caring!” Yunjin shouted. “I don’t care so I won’t share.” Sunghoon replied making Yunjin cry to you even more. “It’s okay Yunjin I’ll talk to him” you leave Yunjin and walk up to Sunghoon. “What do you want miss second place.” He stuck his tongue out looking at you. “Please let Yunjin play on the slide too.” You pout up at him. Sunghoon flushed in red “Fine but I’m not going to play with her.” Sunghoon walks away.

“That stupid, stupid, stupid pout. You know that was the first time I admitted I liked you to myself.” Looking up at him pouting even more so. “Liked” Sunghoon wipes the tear threatening to come out. “Yeah because right at this moment. I’ve decided I don’t want to hurt you anymore. All that enemies shit is stupid if it’s just going to hurt the girl I love.” He leans his face down so close you feel like you can’t breathe. “May I” he asks. “No you may not. How can I be the girl you love. All you do is bother me. You call me names like miss second place. You make me feel worse about myself. All I ever wanted was to be better than you so don’t act like this. Don’t make me act like this.” Sunghoon backs you up onto the door pinning your wrist above your head. “Act like what” he asks still inches away from your face. “Like a hopeless romantic. I don’t want to love you. You’ve only ever were rude to me. I can’t I won’t I will never accept thi-.” Sunghoon closes the gap and kisses you passionately. In shock you try to free your hands from his grasp. Sunghoon stops kissing you “That’s for making me hate you.” He kisses you again but rougher. “That’s for making me crazy over you.” He kisses you again gently. “That’s just because I wanted to.” He lets go of your wrists. You look up at him embarrassed and flustered. “You’re so annoying, how can you still win first at being a good kisser.” You hit him on the chest before wrapping your arms around his neck. You hide your face next to his neck. “I hate the way I’m in love with you when you make me so angry.” You move to look at him and pout. Sunghoon smiles at your cuteness. “Why don’t you take that anger out on me then.” He places his hands on your waist while you turn bright red. “Why so shy now. You always knew how to put your mouth into good use.” You hit him again but he caught your wrist. “You’re such a perv.” You walk out of the hallway Sunghoon following behind. “So are we a thing or what?” Sunghoon caught up interlocking your hands. “I guess we can be.” You answer not looking at him but already knowing he has his stupid smirk painted on his face.

A month has passed since all that hating nonsense. “I don’t wanna study I wanna shove my tongue down your throat.” Sunghoon sighs laying down onto the bed. “If you behave maybe I’ll let you.” You say then go back to reading. “Why do we need to study when we always place top anyways.” he looks at you playing with your hair still lying down. “You always place first I’m second.” “So, you’re first in my heart.” Sunghoon gets up giving you a goofy smile. “First off cringe and second shut up I really need to study.” “So mean” He grabs onto your book throwing it somewhere in his room. “Hey I told you I need to study for the anatomy tes-.” He grabbed you pulling you to straddle him. “You can study me. I’ll help. Touch me anywhere you want.” No longer serious but instead embarrassed you look away. “Fine you don’t want to study me I’ll study you.” He flips you both him now on top. He removes your his hoodie and your short shorts. “This part” he stops licking his fingers sliding them inside your shorts. “It’s the clitoris it contains more than 10,000 nerves. So when I do this.” He rubs your clit in circle making you slightly moan. “You turn into such a slut for me no matter how much you hate it.” He smirks looking at your expression. “This part is your vagina.” He shoves two fingers in without warning. “Sunghoon” you moan out gripping onto his biceps. “Yes baby” he looks down at you with his messy hair falling down. “This has nothing to do with the test.” You say whining. “Just for ruining the mood I’m gonna fuck you until you forget everything you to studied.” He leans down kissing you and shoving his fingers into you repeatedly. His tongue exploring every crevice of the inside of your mouth. You suck onto his tongue moaning. He adds a third finger fastening his pace. You arch your back subconsciously about to cum. “You gotta wait for me darling.” Sunghoon smirks at your annoyed face. Removing his fingers then sucking them. “You’re so gross.” You say looking at him in awe. He takes off your shorts along with your bra eyeing you the whole time. “Not fair I wanna see you too.” You pout at him knowing it’ll work. Sunghoon takes off all his clothing. “Better?” You replied by nodding yes. “We don’t need protection do we. Since I’m always first place I’ll get a good job you can stay home and take care of the kids, right? You wanna be stuffed to the brim with my cum don’t you. I wanna impregnate you so bad so everybody knows you’re all mine.” You groan rubbing your thighs together. “Just hurry and fuck me you’re so annoying.” “Since you asked me so nicely.” Sunghoon slides his dick between your folds. “Such a tea-.” Without warning he thrusts in making you gasp. His dick hitting all the right places made you clench. “Fu-fuck don’t do that I’m gonna fucking cum if you keep clenching.” Unable to control yourself you just moan. “So tight no matter how much I fuck you.” His right hand starts to pinch your nipple while his left rubs your clit. “Sungh- ahh too much.” He leans down sucking your sweet spot on your neck. Marking you with hickeys that’ll stay for days before replacing them again. You arch your back subconsciously too overwhelmed with pleasure you cum. Sunghoon cumming not too short later filling you up to the brim. Sunghoon fucks the mixture of both your cum that has been spilling out back into you. “Cumming first still makes you miss second place.” Sunghoon smirks.

[lavendertom]

The Neighbor Across the Street pt. 3

Mike Schmidt x Babysitter!f!Reader

part 1, part 2, part 4, part 5, part 6

wc: 2.4k

warnings: mentions of garrett’s kidnapping + mikes trauma from that, fluff, tiny age gap barely mentioned (as always, lmk if there’s anything i’ve missed)

summary: the neighbor across the street needs a babysitter, so you take the job, not knowing what’s in store for you as you grow closer to the siblings. AU where nothing bad happens at the pizzeria

quick note, as mentioned this is an AU, but mikes trauma is still there from garrett’s kidnapping but i won’t go down the wormhole of lore for this bc that’s not necessarily why i’m writing this

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The cool breeze of a spring afternoon could be felt as you made your way to the Schmidt’s house. It was a Saturday and technically you weren’t supposed to be at their house today.

Abby was found knocking on your front door just a few minutes earlier, asking if you could come over and play outside with her. You had a good feeling she’d been asking Mike all day, but he refused to call you and ask himself because you’d “probably be busy with school work.” So, the young girl took it upon herself to ask.

“Mike got me a huge box of sidewalk chalk we can draw with.” Abby told you as you walked to the house together. “I also have a bicycle, we can go on a bike ride together! Well, not you, you’re too big for my bike. But you can walk.”

You smiled at yourself, hearing the girl talk and talk about all of the things she was excited to do with you.

“Abby, what’d I say about going to y/n’s house?” you could hear Mike say when you reached the outside of their garage. He looked like he was cleaning some shelves full of random tools.

“She said she wasn’t busy!” Abby said, defending herself.

“It’s okay, I didn’t have much homework this weekend. Anything for my favorite neighbor.” you said in the midst of doing the handshake you and Abby made up one time while you were babysitting after her.

“I thought I was your favorite?” Mike said, pretending to sound offended.

“My second favorite. Get it right.” you said with a small smirk.

Before you could continue conversing with him, Abby dragged you by the wrist with a box of chalk in her other arm.

The two of you combined ended up drawing enough pictures to fill up a majority of the driveway. Granted it wasn’t long, but you ended up making a masterpiece out of the broken up concrete.

“It looks like your room threw up on the driveway, Abby.” Mike said walking out of the garage to assess the damage that was done.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Abby said grinning.

“Yeah, when’s it going to rain again? Or I can just grab the hose and–”

“Be nice!” you said, playfully hitting his arm.

“I want to go on a bike ride now!” Abby said as she ran to pull her bike out of the corner of the garage. She had a habit of quickly moving on from one activity to the next with little room in between.

“I’ll go with her.” you said with a smile.

“I’ll come too.” Mike said, already closing the garage door behind him before you could object and say something like “You need a break, go rest.” Abby already made her way down the drive way, riding towards the sidewalk.

“It’s nice out today.” you said in an attempt to make small talk as you guys followed behind Abby. You guys haven’t spoken much since that night he returned home from his first night shift. You’ll never know what compelled you to give him that hug and what compelled him to give you one in return before you left.

“Yeah, I was finally able to get some stuff done outside today.”

“That’s good.” you were taking in the sounds of the birds chirping, some trees were finally blossoming again after the weather started warming up a bit. After a few seconds of comfortable silence you spoke up, “How’s the job been?”

“As good as a night shift job can be.”

“You getting much sleep lately?” His eyes still looked tired as the day you first saw them, if not more.

“When have I ever.” he paused for a moment, not sure if he was ready to enter this conversation with you. “Sleep has never come easy for me.”

“You can say that again.” you said with a small chuckle.

“Has your mom told you much about our situation?” he said at a slightly softer volume than earlier.

“Not really.”

He took a deep breath before he began talking. “When I was about 12 years old, I had a little brother. His name was Garret. He was taken and we never found him. I was there when it happened.” he stopped for a moment, you looked at him and saw the hurt in his face. “I still have nightmares, every night. I just wish there was something I could’ve done. Anything.”

“I’m so sorry Mike.” you said quietly, you were shocked. You never knew the reasons why this family had it so hard, it made you feel almost guilty that you didn’t take the time to know them earlier. Neither of them asked to be put in this situation.

“It’s okay. It’s just hard thinking back on it. I feel like it’s my fault. Parents told me I needed to watch him. I let this happen.” he was fidgeting with his thumbs, taking in a deep breath. “Anyways, mom died a little after Abby was born, dad died not long after. I had no other choice but to take custody of Abby and become her guardian.”

Everything made sense to you now. Mike had his hands full all of the time and not by choice. No wonder he was always working.

“Are you doing any better now?” you asked.

“The nightmares are still there. I don’t think they’ll ever go away, but I put on a brave face for Abby. She knows very little about Garret, kind of want to keep it that way.”

“I understand.” you said looking down at the pavement beneath your feet. “Thanks for telling me this by the way.”

“You were going to find out one way or another. Better talk about it now than later.” the two of you looked ahead and saw Abby stopped at a street corner.

“You guys are too slow!” she shouted.

“We’re coming!” you shouted back. “If it means anything to you, you’re doing a hell of a good job. She cares about you.” you smiled softly, looking over at him.

“I hope so. Doesn’t seem like it sometimes. She’s a pain in the ass when you’re not around.” he mumbled.

“Really?” you asked, genuinely surprised. “She talks about you like you’re her entire world when I babysit.” The two instantly remembered what the girl had said to Y/n that one night, Y/n not knowing Mike heard all about it the next day.

“You would be a good princess for Mike.”

“Give her some time, she’ll open up to you one day.” you said reassuringly.

The rest of the walk you guys talked about random things. You told him all about your college courses which he found incredibly interesting, although not understanding much about what they entailed. He told you about some of his craziest encounters when he was a mall security guard. The two of you laughed so hard over one of them you almost tripped over the uneven pavement, making you guys laugh even harder.

When you finally returned to his house it was beginning to get dark out. Abby somehow was not tired one bit, despite having ridden her bike for almost 45 minutes.

“I promised Abs I’d let her make s’mores tonight. You can join us.” he said putting his hands in his pockets. It was starting to get cooler out as the sun set. “If you want.” he added at the last second.

“Sure, why not.” you had enjoyed getting to know him better, you didn’t really want to go home yet anyways. “I’m just gonna run home real quick to grab a hoodie, it’s getting co-“

“You can just borrow one of mine.” he interrupted.

“You sure? It’s not that big of a deal I can just run inside real quick.” your heart racing at the thought of him letting you wear one of his hoodies. He’s just being nice you reassured yourself, nothing more.

“Y/n, it’s fine.” he said with a chuckle. “You can go through the gate on the side of the house, Abby’s probably already back there.”

He went through the front door as you walked to the back of the house, and sure enough Abby was already back there placing a handful of s’mores supplies on a little table on the back porch of the house.

“You’re staying for s’mores, Y/n?” Abby asked, excitement beginning to fill her.

“Yeah.” you said smiling. You saw a stack of camping chairs leaning against the house. “Wanna help me grab the chairs?”

The two of you grabbed the chairs, placing them around the campfire pit. You heard the door open and saw Mike stepping out holding hoodies for both you and Abby.

He handed you one, you gave him a tight lipped smile after thanking him. You slipped it over your head, it was just slightly oversized on you. It smelled just like he did the night you gave him the hug, you thought you’d never get over that scent. Your hands were tucked into the pocket of it as you took a seat on one of the chairs, waiting for Mike to finish starting the fire.

“Okay Abs please don’t burn every single marshmallow this time, I want Y/n to actually have an edible s’more.” Mike said looking over at his sister who was already putting far too many marshmallows on a long stick.

Mike sat on the chair next to you. The moment felt peaceful as Abby skipped over holding a stick with marshmallows, holding it over the fire. You watched as Abby toasted the marshmallows, trying her hardest not to turn them all to charcoal. The sun had finally set and the sky was clear, the stars becoming more visible. You noticed Mike was looking up at the sky.

“Have you ever seen a shooting star before?” you asked, both of you now looking up.

“No, have you?” Mike replied.

“A few. When I was a kid, I used to sit out back and just watch the sky until I’d see one. I ended up being able to see a few because of the insane amount of time I’d be out there.” you were still looking up.

Mike turned his attention from the sky to you, watching how your lips formed the smallest of smiles as you spoke. He watched the way your eyes lit up from talking about something so important to you. He felt himself begin to smile, too.

You kept talking, not realizing that he wasn’t looking up at the sky anymore. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, not when your face lit up with joy from just talking about something as simple as the stars. The way it seemed like your hair fell just perfectly and his hoodie seemed to fit you just right didn’t help the situation either.

You finally turned your head back to him realizing he had been looking at you the whole time, a small smile still on his face.

“What?” you said with a nervous laugh.

“Nothing.” he said with a smile, shaking his head slightly as he turned his attention back to the sky.

“Here’s your s’more, Y/n!” Abby said as she suddenly popped up next to you. You almost forgot she was even with you guys anymore, her focus was entirely on making the most yummy s’mores. That left little time for her to ask you all of her usual questions.

“Thanks Abby.” you said, smiling at her as she handed you a messy s’more. She ran back to grab another one, handing it to Mike.

“Thanks Abs.” he said, giving his sister a side hug before she could run away again to grab her own s’more.

The three of you spent the rest of the night snaking on many more s’mores and talking more about the stars until Abby fell asleep in her small camping chair. The fire was dimming, barely alive anymore. You and Mike continued watching the sky, pointing out constellations and attempting to see a shooting star with no luck.

“I should probably take Abby to bed.” Mike said as he stood up, making his way towards Abby. He picked up his little sister as gently as possible making sure not to wake her.

“Yeah I should probably head home now.” you said also standing up. You grabbed the chairs you all used to put them back where you found them.

“Thanks, Y/n. You didn’t have to.” he said as he made his way to the back door.

“No problem. The least I could do after those s’mores Abby made.” you smiled.

You followed him into the house as he walked towards the front door, Abby still peacefully asleep in his arms. He slowly opened the front door for you.

“See you Monday?” he asked.

“Yup.” you replied, and before you knew it he pulled you into a side hug. His two favorite people were in his arms now and he didn’t want it any other way.

“Have a good night, Y/n.”

“You too, Mike.” as you pulled away from his embrace, you put a hand on Abby’s shoulder. You gave the two a small smile which he returned as you walked out of the door.

And you bet he stood there until you were across the street, just like he did every other time you left their house.

When you returned home to your bedroom, which was still decorated like it was when you were 13, you felt warm inside. A different type of warm inside, the feeling you have when you care about someone so much and they care just as much back. All you wanted to do was make sure he knew you cared for him and Abby so much.

You looked at your bulletin board next to your door that had a photo of you and Abby from one of the first times you babysat her. She begged you to bring your polaroid camera and she took advantage of it, snapping all sorts of photos of you and her.

It wasn’t until you saw the photo that you realized you were still wearing Mikes hoodie he lent you. You looked in the mirror next to your door, admiring the hoodie. It wasn’t anything special, just a plain black hoodie, but it felt special. You were determined to continue changing their lives. Making sure their days were brighter, months filled with more happy days than sad ones.

You crawled into bed, too tired to take off the hoodie. You took in the smell of it one last time before you drifted off to sleep thinking about the memories you made today, hoping you’d never forget them.

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jules jewels (tag list! lmk if u want to be added or removed 🤗)

@balesita @universi8 @browneyedgirly93 @prongsprincessworld @k3nnlolz @mxrvelouss

[softstarlite]

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 2

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javier is 40 and reader is 27), talks of baby loss, talks of pregnancy, angst, cheating, mentions of cancer, mentions of death.

Rating: +18 (not explicit)

Word Count: 2.9k

Chapter 1 / Masterlist

A/N: here you go guys!! Second chapter is up!! I'm feeling so much better from my stupid cold. I would like to keep a schedule with posting, my goal is to post at least one new chapter every week but I had a cornea transplant less than 5 months ago (I still have 14 stitches on my right eye) so sometimes I need to rest my eye from screen time or the pain sometimes gets too bad and I need to rest in general, so I don't know if I'll be able to meet my goal every week, sorry in advance. I hope you guys like this new chapter!! <3 <3

Divider by @saradika

Javier wipes the sweat of his hands on the front of his jeans for the fourth time in the last hour since he started getting ready to go to Maria´s house, he looks at his reflection on the mirror, he can feel fear engulf his body, fear of disappointing Maria, he wasn't the same man he was when he left for Colombia. That day…

His mom, Alma, had been diagnosed with lung cancer four months before it happened, when Lorraine had told him that she was pregnant, he was shit scared, how could he be a father? He didn't know anything about being one, he was only 27, he assumed that he had at least 5 or 6 years more before even thinking about having a family of his own.

He didn't hesitate to get on one knee and proposed to Lorraine, part of him was happy that his mom would be able to meet at least one of her grandchildren; the doctors had already prepare them for the worst, the cancer was very aggressive, and even if his mom was still young, only 44, they had detected it very late.

The night before the wedding Lorraine showed up at his parents ranch, crying her heart out. They were sleeping in different houses since it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding. He got really worried, he didn't believe in that tradition, she had been the one very keen in doing it so it was already rare that she had showed up there unannounced but even more that she showed up crying.

“Lor? What happened?” he had been sitting on the front porch when she appeared, he got up from his seat quickly and headed to her putting his hands on her cheeks “What is it Lor? Is the baby okay?” he asked her with so much worry in his voice.

Lorraine only kept saying sorry and shaking her head no again and again. “Please baby, tell me what is happening, are you hurt?” he pleaded her.

“I'm sorry Javi… I'm so sorry… There´s no baby…” she said, not able to meet his gaze.

“What? Baby…” he could feel tears in his eyes already, he thought that she had lost it, he never would've thought that she had done what she did. He tries to make her look at him ¡. “Baby…Lor, look at me. Baby it's not your fault, we need to take you-” he was interrupted by her.

“No, Javi… There's no baby, there never has been a baby…” she took a step away from him, feeling shame in what she had done.

“What? Lorraine, this is not funny… Stop it” that was the only possibility in his head, she must have been pranking him, she would never hurt him this way, she loved him, right?

“I'm so sorry Javi, baby…” she tried to reach for him now but he didn't say anything and just walked inside without a word.

The next morning no one could find Javier, until his mom saw a little note on the kitchen table where he had written that he had accepted the job with the DEA in Colombia that the rest could be explained by Lorraine.

You were only 14 when you were sat down by your mom and Alma and got the news about her sickness, that was your first heartbreak, but definitely not your last. You loved Alma like a second mother, she was there when you said your first words, she had been the one encouraging you when you took your first steps… You couldn't imagine a life and a world without her, without her smile or her kindness… No, it had to be a mistake, the doctors mixed up some papers and they gave her the diagnosis of someone else, she couldn't leave you…

When Javier left, you weren't given the real reason from the adults around you, they told you that he and Lorraine weren't together anymore and he had to go work in Colombia, that was it. Obviously, living in a place like Laredo you heard the truth very soon, and felt heartbroken all over again for him, as big as your crush for him was, when you saw how excited he was when he talked about anything related with the baby in the weekly dinners your families shared, it filled your heart to see him just happy, so you couldn't understand how Lorraine had been able to break him like that, she said that he loved him and wanted to spend her entire life with him but then do that? How can you be so cruel to someone that you supposedly love?

A year later from Javier´s move to Colombia, Alma passed away, you only remember crying for three days straight without even sleeping. You remember your mom telling you that “Javiercito is coming for the funeral, he'll be here tomorrow morning”, then the next thing you remember is been dressed in all black, that made you think that Alma would´ve hate it, then not been able to see the casket through the tears and the last thing you remember of that day was how Javier had put his arms around you, caressing your hair and telling you how much Alma loved you and that would never leave you. It never did, you could feel her love everyday, in little things like the chirping of the birds outside, the warm sun, the little desserts you would bake with her recipes, etc…

That was the last time you saw Javier, when you were 15 and crying for the biggest lost in your life.

He parks his truck on Maria´s driveway and gets out with a nervous sigh. After he knocks on the door twice, you open the door with a big smile, fuck, he thought you wouldn't be here. He didn't have a problem with you being here, on the contrary, he was very happy when he saw you the other day, it had been way too long without seeing you. But the problem was that you had grown up… And fuck, did the years had treat you amanzingly. You were a full on woman now, and he didn't like that, because it made his body feel things that it shouldn't. If Maria or his own father could read what had gone through his mind since he first saw you a few days ago, he would definitely be six feet under.

“Hey! You're here!” you say with that big smile on your face. He doesn't say anything, just nods and gives you a tight smile back.

“Come in!” you move a little to give him enough space to come inside. “Mom is still cooking what must be her twentieth dish” you chuckle. He slips inside but you hadn't anticipated how broad his shoulders were so he bumps one of his shoulders into you.

“Oh, sorry” he apologizes and you can't help but feel a million goosebumps all over your body. “She shouldn't have trouble herself…”

You shake the feeling away, you weren't a stupid teenager anymore. “yeah, tell that to her” you smirk knowing he would never dare.

He walks to the kitchen with you behind, he remembers the way as if no time has passed, as if he hadn't gone through more than a decade without putting a foot in this house. When he makes it past the arch of the kitchen, he sees your mom, her back facing him, he can see the grey conquering her whole hair. For a moment he can almost see his own mom beside her cutting some vegetables.

Seeing his silence, you decide to clear your throat to make your presence known to your mom. She turns around starting a sentence that sounds like a question about who was at the door, but as soon as she sees Javier there, before her, her mouth shuts and she freezes. Knowing they'll need a moment, you walk around them to the stove to continue to stir whatever dish your mom is making now, so it doesn't burn while they catch up.

“Javiercito!” she almost screams, launching herself into him, a hand on the back of his head and the other arm across his back.

“Maria…” is all that he can get out of his mouth, apart from the biggest breath out that he has ever let out. He didn't even know that he was holding that breath for so long.

“Déjame verte bien mijo (Let me get a good look at you, my son)” she pulls away from him and pushes him a little back by the shoulders, then looks him up and down like she was examining that he isn´t missing anything.

“Ma, esta bien, no le agobies (Mom, he's fine, don't bother him)” you say from the stove, not even looking at them.

“¿Bien? (fine?) Have you seen him? Está demasiado delgado, gracias a dios que prepare suficiente comida. Siéntate, mijo. (He's too skinny, thank god i´ve prepare enough food. Sit, my son) I'll bring you some food right away” She says, patting his cheek and signaling with a hand to the kitchen table, then she goes back to the stove and replaces the place you were filling.

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief. “Do you want something to drink, Javi?” you ask him while opening the fridge to get a beer for yourself.

He talks again after feeling overwhelmed by the situation. “Sure, whatever you´re having” with that you pull out another beer for him and after uncapping them, you hand him one. “Thanks” he says, not meeting your eye.

You sit across from him on the kitchen table and take a sip of your own beer. Your mom puts a bowl of Pozole in front of each of you, and while you eat, she and Javier talk about a million things, how things around the house had been since your dad died, how you and her go to Chucho´s every now and then, how you help Chucho everytime the fruit trees need harvesting (which brings a blush to your cheeks when Javi asks if that's right and looks at you), and of course your mom starts to let Javi know about all the gossip he has missed in Laredo, which by his face, he couldn't care less to be honest but i guess your mom didn't want to pick that up. He just nods and hums while eating, while your mom tells him about how the girl from the Gonzalez´s was seen in the local theater every week casually talking and giggling with the guy working there; after a bit something pricks his ears, specifically when your name is mentioned.

“And you wouldn't believe all the commotion that it caused , pff, nos tuvimos que quedar en casa varios días antes de que ella se atreviera a enseñar la cara (we had to stay at home for a few days before she was brave enough to show her face)” she says while picking up both of your bowls to bring to the sink. You don't know where to hide in that moment, you couldn't believe your mom was telling him about that.

“Ma…” you say, trying to make her drop the subject. She obviously doesn't want to catch your desperation.

“What? Sorry i was lost in my head for a moment” he says not realizing that you don't want the subject to be brought up.

“Ay mijo, te estaba diciendo (i was telling you) about how she used to go out with the Lopez´s boy, Diego, and she heard from Doña Lucía about him and a girl, that no one knew, been seen in Jacinto´s ice cream shop, then she decided to confront him that same day, but she instead saw him and the girl on the town square just there,” she makes a dramatic gesture with her hands like she was physically pointing at them right there. “just sitting on a bench, muy acaramelados los muy sinvergüenzas (very lovey-dovey, those scoundrels). Doña Lucía told me that she just took the lemonade in the girl's hand and threw it to him, allí delante de todos, ¿tu te crees, mijo? (in front of everybody, can you believe it, my son?)” she shakes her head in almost disappointment.

“Well, if I'm honest with you Maria. Creo que le hizo poco, yo le hubiese dado un buen puño” you can see how his hands become fists, and his jaw becomes more tense. Javi feels a fire inside of him that he hasn't felt since he left Colombia, he already knows that if he crosses paths with Diego Lopez, he won't be exactly kind towards him.”Wait, he cheated and you had to hide at home?!” he asks, now looking at you.

“I didn't hide, she did” you say pointing towards your mom, who's washing the dishes, with your head. “I was just going through a breakup like a normal person” you shrug your shoulders to try to take some weight off of the conversation.

He nods, understanding now the situation. “Good, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, it's his loss” he huffs “He must be as stupid as he was when he was a kid” he says more to himself than to you, it makes you blush again.

“Javier Jesús Peña!!” your mom scolds him from the sink, turning her head towards him. Javi for a moment feels like a teenager again, being scolded by Maria and his mom for saying a bad word in the kitchen of Pena´s ranch while they make empanadas.

“What? No podes defender al desgraciado, hizo daño a nuestra vampirita (you can't defend that bastard, he hurted our little vampire” he chuckles sincerely now. You gasp at the mention of your old childhood nickname he gave you for being obsessed with the book Dracula when you were 9 years old.

“You don't want to play that game, Peña” you challenge him, squinting your eyes at him, but a little smile in your lips betrays your facade. He laughs with his whole belly now, throwing his head back. You decide right then that you like seeing him laugh sincerely a lot.

After some hours of more delicious food and banter, Javier informs you that he needs to go back to the ranch before his dad comes looking for him for leaving him all day alone with the chores.

You walk him to the door, his arms full of mountains of tupperware full of leftovers that your mom had insisted him to take for himself and Chucho.

You open the door for him since he has his hands occupied, those hands that you´ve been stealing glances to all day, you wonder how rough they would feel around your own hand, around your neck, around your- “Thanks for um… everything” he says interrupting your thread of thoughts.

“Don't mention it” you give him a shy smile, like he could´ve read what you had been thinking. Next thing you know, your mouth is working by it´s own mind, you ask without thinking.”Are you going to the barbecue at Doña Lucia's house this Sunday after church?” when you realize how eager your voice sounds about the prospect of seeing him again in less than two days you add “I believe she invited Chucho the other day, and i'm sure she did it in person with the sole purpose of having you at the barbecue and confirm the rumors of you being fully back home” you chuckle trying to play it cool, god you felt like you were 15 again, drooling for him.

His dad had told him about the gathering but he wasn't planning on going, but now, seeing the slight spark your eyes got when you asked him about his possible attendance, he couldn't think of a better plan for Sunday. “Yeah, my pops told me the other day. I take you´re going too?” you nod with doe eyes and he can't help his eyes for going down to where you tongue tips out of your mouth to wet your lower lip, he gulps and can feel a drop of sweat going down his spine; his mind wondering how you tongue and your lips might feel against his own, against his neck or his chest…

Your mom suddenly yells your name from inside the house. “Dani is calling you, mija!!” you both can hear her voice coming from the living room where the telephone is.

“Dila que voy ma!! (tell her i'll be right there mom!!)” you yell towards her, turning your head over your shoulder, then you turn towards Javi again. You guys keep looking into each other's eyes for what feels like a second and an eternity at the same time until you decide that if you don't stop it, your mom will come over and ruin the moment even more. “I'll see you on Sunday then?”

He nods and then does something that makes you melt into a puddle of water into the ground, he kisses your cheek and with a breathy and deep whisper wishes you a good day to then turn around and walk to his truck on the driveway. You can't help but to stay right there frozen with your heart going way too fast and an almost shocked expression, watching how he puts the leftovers on the passenger side then gets behind the wheel and drives away; it isn´t until your mom calls your name again that you defroze.

Next chapter

[radiant-reid]

can you please do a little blurb about spencer coming home late after an argument with reader (you said he would do that) and she’d be so worried about him, like crying cause he wouldn’t answer texts?

The morning had started with an argument, thanks to a major lack of sleep on both your part and stress at both your jobs. There's nothing more you hate than arguing with him, which very rarely happens. In your three years of dating, you've argued four times, this morning becoming the fifth.

You expect him back at 6, leaving work at 5 and taking the metro. He tries his hardest to come home when he's not fighting crime around the country on time now that he has you.

But he's not there. He's not there at 7 either, and by 7:30, you're incredibly concerned. If he went on a case, he'd text you. With his job, you have all the right to be worried, especially when he rejects your calls and leaves your texts unanswered. Once that train of thought starts, you spiral.

You're calling Penelope after thinking for too long. "Hey, P. Is Spencer still there?" You ask shyly, in a quiet voice.

"I can put you through to his direct line." She offers.

"No, just- he's okay? Like alive?" You ask.

"Yeah, I saw him a few minutes ago." She tells you. Although she knows something is wrong, she's not going to push it.

"Alright, thanks." You say quickly before hanging up.

You're crying before you can help it, upset over him shutting down. At a minimum, he needs to tell you he's okay.

Clearly, Penelope told him to get his ass home because he's rushing in the door 45 minutes later. You don't move from your position on the couch, too stubborn to fix the issue he created.

"Hi." He says, receiving no reply. "Y/n." Still nothing from you. "The silent treatment, really?"

You sigh, reaching your limit. "What do you want me to say? You're a hypocrite for not replying to me all day to let me know that you're okay."

For a moment, you think he's going to snap at you, and continue the fight, but his face softens. "I'm sorry." He admits, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. "I shouldn't have turned my phone off and not come home on time. I also shouldn't have ever fought with you."

You wipe away your remaining tears. "You had me so worried."

"I know." He tells you. "And I promise to never do it again."

"Promise?" You ask, holding out your pinky finger.

He links his finger with yours. "Pinky promise."

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley) (Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 4

The next morning, the sun starts to gently beam through the curtain-less windows. It was enough to wake me up from my deep sleep. Yesterday wore me out so good that I was able to go straight home from the saloon and fall right to sleep.

I get out of bed and do some morning stretches. Regardless of me going to the gym here and there, my muscles ache pretty bad. I look at my phone to see what time it is. It is about the only thing it's good for in this town.

"6 am?!" I shout.

I have never been up so early on my own. When I have to get up at this time, I usually have to set an alarm.

I reach into my bag to throw on the same set of overalls but a different shirt underneath. This time, it's a dark blue, plaid, long sleeve. I got to the bathroom and splash water on my face. I twist my hair into a loose braid once again, then head out to start working in the field. I make sure to grab the axe on my way out.

I start chopping away all the stray trees scattered in the field. Only the ones that will be in my way once I start planting seeds.

It wasn't long until I was interrupted by an unfamiliar, friendly voice, "Howdy, Mayor Lewis told me you arrived yesterday. I'm Marnie!"

When I turn around, I find a short, plump, older lady approaching me. Braids must be the style here because she is also rocking one.

"Hi Marnie! My name's Danny" I put down my axe to extend my hand out to her. She shakes it firmly.

"I sell livestock and animal care products at my ranch just down that path," Marnie turns to point, "You should swing by sometime. That is, once you get an area set up to put livestock. I'd also be happy if you happen to swing by just because, too."

I give her a friendly smile and nod my head, "Of course! I will try to stop by whenever I pass by."

Marnie returns the smile. "Anyways, If you ever need anything you know where I'm at! I'll let you get back to what you're doing. You seem to have a lot on your hands with this farm," She says as she begins her journey back down the path.

I go back to chopping the trees and clearing up more of the field to the best of my ability.

                                                  🌻 🌻 🌻

Unfortunately, chopping down the rest of the trees turned into a two day job. I didn't even leave the farm those two days. I got so wrapped up in clearing this place up. All I've been eating were the snacks I brought from home.

Those two days were short ones though because I kept going to bed pretty early. Removing the stumps of the trees was a pain. Chopping was the easy part.

However, today I decided I am going to Pierre's to get some groceries and since I finally have the place to my liking, I can get those seeds now. I never did end up doing them Monday.

When I pass by Harvey's clinic and look through the window. Seems pretty empty in there except for one guy with a fantastic mustache and glasses. I assume that'd be Harvey.

I stop to look at the bulletin board that's on Pierre's shop. I look at the calendar with everyone's birthdays on one side, and at the "Help Wanted" side. There doesn't seem to be anything posted there yet.

After continuing the rest of the way to the door of Pierre's store. I grab the handle and yank it. It doesn't open.

"Huh? That's weird. Maybe it's a push door?" I say to myself as I try pushing on the door. It doesn't budge.

I take a step back and scratch my head. I look at all the papers taped to the glass door and finally at the sign on the wall next to the door:

Monday: 9 am - 5 am

Tuesday: 9 am - 5 am

Closed on Wednesdays

Thursday: 9 am- 5 am

Friday: 9 am - 5 am

Saturday: 9 am- 5 am

Sunday: 9 am - 5 am

"Wait, what's today?" I look back at the calendar on the bulletin board.

"Of course it's Wednesday. When I actually need to get something it's closed."

Once, again I take a step back from the store and turn to look around at the town. I decide to go around the corner and up the stone steps. I turn left and I pass by the building Mayor Lewis told me was the Community Centre. I keep walking and find myself standing on one side of a water fountain. It's a pretty big one but I can just make out a playground located a few feet behind it.

I stand around the fountain and admire it for a bit. I stick my hand in the water and swish it around. Suddenly I find myself with both hands playing in the water. I get a little carried away until a familiar voice chimes in from the other side of the fountain

"What do you think you're doing?"

I quickly yank my hands back and out of the fountain. The person poked their head around the center of the fountain so I could see them. Out of everyone who could have caught me doing that it had to be Haley.

"I don't know... The water felt really nice on my hands. They've been pretty beat up the last few days," I hold my hands back out in front of me. I angled them downward so she could see how red and calloused they are. Not that she would care. I notice her face scrunch up in disgust. "I guess I just got carried away. What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"Not that it matters to you, but I tend to come here to think," she looks away from me and turns toward the town, "It's also a great spot to look over at the town and watch everyone go about their day."

Her expression seemed to softened as she looks towards the town.

"And what does a pretty girl like you have to think about?" I question her. I scoot a bit closer to where she is sitting on the edge of the fountain. She is definitely in a vulnerable mood so I decided to try and ease the tension between us.

From where I am sitting, it looked like her face went bright red. It could just be the lighting though. Or maybe I imagined it.

She quickly tucked her beautiful, blonde hair behind her ears and looked towards the other way. Within seconds, she looks back with a scowl and clears her throat to speak.

"It doesn't matter what I think about. I just think, okay?" She abruptly stands and hurriedly walks to the steps that go down the other side of the buildings. Near the path to get to my farm.

I nod my head and look down at my boot I guess I've been dragging around in the dirt the whole time. Suddenly, two little kids run past me with Penny lagging behind. The two kids stop dead in their tracks when they notice I am there.

"Oh, a stranger! My name's Vincent. Momma says not to talk to strangers," The boy in the striped t-shirt says, "but you seem okay."

"...Hi..." Whispers the girl in the purple dress with a cute bow on her head.

"That's Jas. She is a shy one. Until she gets to know you of course," Penny explains when she finally catches up to the kids. "We don't have a school here but I'm doing my best to give and a proper education. They are just super energetic today and won't sit still."

The kids start giggling and take off once again. Penny huffs and continues chasing after them.

I then decide it's about time to go back to the farm. The sun has begun to set, and it is starting to get dark. I notice time really flies in Pelican Town.

[tomiexkawakami]

𝑲𝑨𝑳𝑶𝑷𝑺𝑰𝑨

𝙳𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛(𝚔𝚗𝚢) 𝚡 𝚃𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚎!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

1

私は完璧です.

A boy by the name Kamado Tanjiro,

was currently spending the night at a man's home, the man claimed it is very dangerous at night. Tanjiro had trouble sleeping because of how much worry he was holding for his family...

the man said the night was not safe, which led to the poor young man to worry even more for his precious family.

After the night past, he thanked the man and quickly rushed to his home, he was ready for the warm welcome, and the scolding of his mother for not arriving the day before.

He smiled brightly while he could see his home from a far... but he suddenly stopped and his eyes widened.

"The smell of blood!" He quickly rushed to his home and the sight he saw was something he will never forget.

"..." The boy couldn't believe his eyes... "Nezuko..." he walked in and saw his whole family Lifelessly on the floor..."

Mother! Hanako! Nezuko! What happened!?" The young boy was panicking and he started shedding tears for his now dead family, until.

"Nezuko!" She still has a pulse... the young boy thought, he quickly decided to carry his dear younger sister down the hill and take her to town so she could get medical attention, she was in desperate need of it..

The air was very thin, as it was winter. Tanjiro was very desperate to help his sister... he couldn't imagine a world without his family.

Suddenly, nezuko woke up! But, it wasn't just Nezuko, she was now a Demoness... and she was hungry. Due to Nezuko's rapid shaking both her and her brother fell down, luckily, the snow was thick, which made it a soft landing for Tanjiro and his sister.

Speaking of her, she was looking down at the ground, as she stood still... "Nezuko! Nezuko are you alright!? You dont have to walk! Let me carry you to town!..... Nezuko?"

Without a word, the young girl jumped at her brother and attacked him, out of instincts, he pulled out his hatchet and quickly started blocking while Nezuko tried to bite him. Several pleading could be heard from him and saying he was worried for Nezuko was an understatement...

Tanjiro could smell another presence coming towards he and his sister, and they were coming fast. Panicked, out of reflex he quickly pushes Nezuko out of they way before the unknown person could harm her with the Katana they wield.

(Time skip🫀) (because I forgot what else happened)

My sister has turned into a mole...' Tanjiro thought, his dear sister Nezuko dug a whole so that she could avoid the sun. He quickly brushed off the thought and put the basket (i think) infront of Nezuko.

"Nezuko.. can you try fit in the basket? Can you fit?" He asked his sister, she attempted to enter, but her body was too grown, if only she were a bit smaller...

"Nezuko... earlier your body turned to one of a adult, so is it possible for your body to become smaller..? Im sure you'll fit!" Out of nowhere, She became smaller, so she was able to fit in the basket..

"Good job Nezuko! You did it!" He pat Nezuko head, she enjoyed the praise and head pats from her brother, so her mood definitely got better.Tanjiro picked up the basket that contains his dear sibling, who was surprisingly very light. He covered the top so the sun couldn't reach Nezuko, he didn't want to see her hurt by the sun, he promised himself to protect his sister, even if it costs his own life.

(Meanwhile)

(name) was looking at the chaos caused by uppermoon 6 and uppermoon 5, Daki, upper six, was having a tantrum because Gyokko, upper five, said her hair clips was made poorly, he said it doesn't look good compared to his art.

(Name) nearly snickered at all the insults Daki is sending back to Gyokko as a comeback for her hairclip.Uppermoon 1 was minding his business, he only speaks when either (name) or the demon king spoke to him, he didn't find anyone else worthy for his time.

Uppermoon 3 & 2 were talking, Douma was being a pain in the ass to Akaza, who was resisting the urge to punch his head off, but he didn't, (name) was there and he didn't want to seem rude infront of her.

Uppermoon 4, Hantengu was hiding behind a wall, he doesn't feel safe anywhere near the infinity castle, especially when he makes eye contact with uppermoon 2 or 1, he wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, but the demon king wanted a meeting. He knew he couldnt decline. Oh how he wishes he could though.

(Name) was getting bored, she didn't know why her brother asked her to attend the meeting, but she didn't decline. She had nothing better to do anyway, it's daylight after all...

(Back to Tanjiros POV)

The Demon was still speaking, even if Tanjiro cut off his head with his hatchet, he looked at the demons body as it was burned by sunlight. "You wont kill it with that." An elder man said.Tanjiro faced him, he looked at him, shocked and confused. "You are Kamado Tanjiro, correct?, Tomioka sent you. I am going to train you to be a successful demon hunter. Come inside."

[nightmyst14-blog]

Wanna share some Astronova HC's because they're all I have thought about for the last 2 months 🥰

-Because it looks like almost all of Xylitol's body is mechanical, instead of a heartbeat, he's got a hum in his chest very similar to how you hear your PC whirr when in use. Astronaut falls asleep to this ALL the time. The best way to de-stress at the end of a hard day is when he holds her and she feels like for once Ms. "Icebot" doesn't need all the answers

-Their bond grew even stronger after the loss of planet xylitol. The journey to the next planet was a long one, and there was MUCH to micromanage and lead with all these refugeed cookies and robots. He starts entrusting her with a lot of tasks b/c she's already proven more than capable when it came to saving the lives of his beloved citizens. They'd spend many hours awake, fighting off sleep in his room to discuss future plans, routes, strategies, etc. A complete comfort in each others presence without even realizing it 🥰

-When Astronaut eventually realized the feelings she caught weren't totally platonic, she didn't act out on them for a while, worrying about a multitude of factors (would it be reciprocated? would it affect their teamwork? what would all the others think of an alien falling for their leader? maybe she'd never be accepted as one of them.) Meanwhile Xylitol was the dead last person to realize what he felt. Every cookie, robot, and space doughnut on the ship knew what they were seeing but he was utterly clueless for the longest time. Cue to Xyl-Q, Space Doughnut, and Xylitol Researcher all exchanging looks™️ between each other every time he talked about Astronaut a little too fondly 😏🤭

SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO ANSWER THIS, I HAD TO GATHER MY HCS FOR THIS ADORABLE SHIP.

I love them, they remind of Eve and Wall-E

Both are in love with each other, but SO AWKWARD around each other.

-Astronaut's actual name is Neopolitan (I 'm part of the idea that cookies with job names actaully have flavor names), but she liked to be called "Neo" by her friends, so she allowed him to say it too, even thought Xylitol Nova is very formal around her. but whenever he does says it, it makes her extremely flustered. She didnt know why, but she always blushes whenever he calls her "Neo."

-Astronaut tends to call Xylitol Nova "Nova" or "Xy", which makes him flustered whenever she says it. He doesnt have the cybernetic guts to tell her to stop.

Due to being born from a star, Xylitol Nova's body is constantly warm, while Astronaut being made form ice cream, is always cold. So whenever they do date, constant cuddle from both sides <3. I also headcanon Xylitol Nova's body (along with his citizens) is a mix between a cyborg and a android, his own dough a prefect of dough and extremely tough metals like tungsten and Titanium, his body tends to overheats when he gets stressed or anxious, so Astronaut hugs him to help calm down and cool off his circuits.

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. Astronaut is only up to the middle of his chest, while Xylitol Nova is in 6 ft and up mark. He easily scoops her up whenever she needs to reach something.

Due to her engineering background, I picture she studied the body of the Xylitolian in case anyone needed a tune up. Xylitol Nova is fascinated by her skill to learn this so quickly.

I imagine all of the citizens are watching them like a telenovela, all betting from time to time on how their relationship would go.

"I saw our leader creating hard light flowers. I better he's making them or Astronaut."

"No way!! He's been working in the engine room with Xylitol Researcher Cookie for the past few days! He couldnt have had time for that!"

"10 quid says he did."

"Fine!"

----Later----

The two see Xylitol Nova gift the flowers to Astronaut while on break, saying "I heard you missed looking a the flowers of your home, so I could replicate a few for you...

I have more, but I wanna hear more of yours. SEND MORE, I BEG YOU.

[menlove]

not sure how much traction this will get but! I just got top surgery friday and here's a short list of things I either wish I was told or wish was talked about more that might help some others!

you have to be so so so careful with what meds you take in the month/weeks leading up to surgery. I fucked up and got mine delayed by over a month because my adhd mixed up ibuprofen and tylenol. check the packet they give you a million times and if you're unsure about absolutely anything, ask. but in general: tylenol is the only pain med that's okay to take in the week leading up to surgery. be honest about alcohol/drug use because there's specific instructions for those as well.

a lot of insurances will need you to make sure it's coded as gender affirming surgery rather than plastic surgery or they won't cover as much of it. make sure you ask your insurance if there's anything like that that might screw you over later.

if you have a chronic condition like I do (type 1 diabetes) you and your surgeon might find it best if you stay overnight. if not, you'll likely be sent home day of so make sure you have a responsible adult that can drive you to and from your surgery.

if you are fat, that is totally okay and there's plenty of surgeons that will work with you. however, make sure your surgeon/hospital doesn't have a bmi/weight limit. it's bullshit and completely unfair, but you may have to look elsewhere (I'm lucky and my surgeon was amazing about that). besides, they probably aren't very good at their job if they have that and you'll find better care with another surgeon anyway

speaking of being fat and getting top surgery, ofc it's all personal preference, but I'd really recommend considering leaving some fat on your chest. fat cis men have some fat on their chests and it's easy for it to look concave if your surgeon removes all the fat. discuss some options w your surgeon and look up post op pics of other fat people that have had top surgery to find stuff similar to what you're going for!

they are going to put you on strong pain meds after, probably oxycodone. if you have a history of addiction or a family history, be aware of that and talk to your doctor about other options if you would rather not take it. if you've never taken oxy before, nausea is a super common symptom so you can totally ask your doctor to prescribe you an anti nausea medication to take alongside it. it doesn't always 100% help so I would also recommend making sure you don't take it on an empty stomach.

honestly, for me the pain hasn't reached above a 6. everyone is different ofc but it's a very dull achey sort of pain. the worst parts, according to me and others I've known who've gotten top surgery, are: nausea, itching, fatigue, constipation, the drainage tubes tugging (and if you don't have gauze under them like I do, chafing), and for me I've started to get back pain from having to sleep sitting up

have a ton of pillows on hand because you're going to have to sleep sitting almost the entire way up on your back. it sucks.

have easy to open and grab snacks piled up! even if you have someone around to help you, sometimes you won't have an appetite for a whole meal and it's always nice to still be independent

speaking of constipation, invest in some milk of magnesia or ask for medication to be prescribed to help you with it. the anasthesia and oxy are gonna work together to make you miserable on that front.

drink plenty of water! make it fun w packets if you have to but your body just went through major trauma and you're going to need it

every surgeon/hospital has different instructions. I see a lot of these posts and they'll list certain things as total fact that are completely contradictory to what I've been told and what my boyfriend was told when he got his. this isn't to say either one is correct, but in general take these posts with a grain of salt and go with whatever your surgeon/hospital instructs you to do. especially as far as exercise, arm movement, showering, etc is concerned.

[cjoatprehn]

Survival Financial Request!

My mom’s been filing for bankruptcy, has been extremely financially stressed lately, and trying to get me over to her has been really stressful. She’s a burn victim from a Yankee Candle catching on fire on Halloween, she received 3rd degree burns on most of her body for trying to save her support dog. Between support animal costs, food, rent, and hospital recovery, she’s in dire need of aid. If y’all could and are in a position to help, could you send some money over, please, to help ensure she will be able to at the very least have some pressure off her shoulders? And a sweet note, if you want to—? Thank you…

Adding to this post-

I want to make clear I’ve been struggling to keep us and others afloat, and now I’m at a point in my life and health where I am no longer able to do so. They’re cutting away more food stamp money from many households in the legislature not just ours, and I’m in the process of moving to my mom’s to help out. And also—

I’m kinda Flipping out right now. I don’t want to lie, with the US being a 3rd world country now. I’m flipping out because last month…was the last month they would be giving food money in the 100s. With food so high and Rent higher. SSI—I don’t even know. …I’m smiling but I don’t know what else to do. My moms still recovering from 3rd degree burns, surgery, and trying to get me there, and I’ve learned that the Aunt that had control of late great grandma’s reservoir for funds…Help won’t last long.

I’m scared, and I’m losing hope. I don’t want to go out as the person who Fucking struggled and suffered their entire life, never got to flourish. …I’ve never thought of making a gofundme again. Every time I’ve made one it never reached anything. And…I-can’t even maintain a savings for long. If we run out of money or assistance, then my mom stops getting treatment. Her dog doesn’t get food or treatment…and we’ll lose the little we have left.

She doesn’t have any friends or many connections outside of herself or her former government job. So—I’m just—like—trying to convince her to.. at least accept my help. I know everyone’s not in the best financial situation to help but—I can’t continue giving good energy to the universe from an empty cup…so I really appreciate the support..!

For record only, no longer helping someone who wants to gaslight and abuse me. I’ve been evicted as of May 9th, 2023. I found a place to stay for last night and possibly tonight. After that I’m on the streets. I’ve accepted I might not make it. I’m bedbound forced to rest by my body and disabilities. My phone has been deactivated by my mom only to discover she can’t reactivate it due to my phone being 6-7 years old. It’s too old to be reactivated with its old line.

But…hey…I’m no longer at my abusive home situation. I don’t wish to tell my dad’s side of the family. My mom prolly let them know anyway. I don’t know for sure though.

…I’m so flipping screwed. Had to deactivate my throne, due to no longer having that address. So…I’m just.. Here. Waiting. Watching my time come closer.

Thread of some of the abuse from my mom. I don’t feel like typing it all here..

https://cjoatbysamwise.com/donate-to-cjoat

…I’m scared. But I don’t know what else to do so I’m accepting my fate and situation for now at least. So.

Here’s to updates..

Late Update:

Got yelled at, insulted, and screamed at by my mom through text. She’s called AT&T to lock everything down; I asked her for my account information. When she didn’t answer for the next 5-6 hours. I had AT&T send an email and a text to her & asked her for what they sent her. I got accused of hacking. I’m Not getting my phone line back.

Oh and to top it off, she sent me a picture of Storme laying outside of where I used to sleep. With Storme saying hi. I relayed a message to Storme. It would be a goodbye unless we meet again.

…So I’m unable to exactly…Do anything so. Just…Trying to calm my heart rate down…It’s been elevated all damn day…and increasing..

Good News: The Situation has Partly Cleared!

I cued a erasure on the iPhone 14 Pro Max, which my mom gave me and then took away from me after snooping through my iPhone 8+ and kicking me out, as soon as it connects to the internet; that way, my mom gets to return the phone, she gets her $1K+ back, problem solved. However, twice my mom sent 2 “Reset Apple ID Password” pop-ups on my devices, which…fuck off, mom, tf?

In response, after checking with the select few, I have changed my Apple ID email, because she doesn’t know my Apple ID password. I will be working with Apple Customer Servicee to ensure she can not steal my Apple account through Screen Time (which is possible). Conclusively:

I have a bed and address, temporarily but for awhile, unsure of how long, definitely more than a few days. Right now, until things stabilize with assistance, I don’t have to pay yet, despite being willing to. Currently slowly getting out of survival mode. Many of my stuff remain at my mom’s. I am able to get another physical SIM for my phone. Throne should be showing and working now, because I now have a new address, temporary while I figure what to do from here. I am no longer am able to draw due to my stylus breaking and my disc tips running out. Still got to get back. Laptop is out of commission until I get a new laptop charger, or until I get my old one back. That’s the update for now.

…I’m…finally going to heal, now that I’m safe and in a warm & accepting, and lax environment.

Still going to need assistance, thank y’all so much for supporting me so far.

[a-littlebirdie]

Foosball,Flyfishing

& "Friends"

Pairing: Price x MC (Wren, nickname Osprey) GN! Reader 

Summary

John and Wren have been inseparable for the last 6 years, but neither one of them wants to admit that their relationship is nowhere near "platonic". They are released on leave for 3 months and Wren decides to take a trip back home to the states. They want to ask if John wants to go. They're just two very close friends who enjoy each others company right? What could happen?

Word Count: 5.5k ish

Author’s Note

Hello! So this is my first time posting any kind of writing since 2014. So please bare with me I may be a little rusty 😅 I just want to write some fluff and enjoy some domestic Price fly fishing. This is a two parter, maybe three depending on what I can finish by the 4th of Feb. I fly out the 6th for a job and will have limited access to internet until April, so I wanted to get this posted before I left.

Also want to note that I am not sure how much time would be between each mission, but for this we’ll say it’s around 3 months. Hope you find as much joy in this as I did!

Warnings

Too much fluff

Language

Nightmares

Slight talks of injuries

*NOT EDITED*

Part 2

______________________________________________________________

You quietly make your way through the dark and chilly halls of base. It was well into the night almost guaranteeing everyone was asleep except for the person you were looking for. A faint glow could be seen from under the door to your captain's office. Though you felt it selfish, you were relieved to see he was still awake. When you reach it you quietly knock and open the door. The room was dark with just the warm glow of the desk lamp and embers of a cigar resting on a try. John looks up and offers you a tired soft smile putting down his pen.  

"Hey Osprey."  

The codename made your heart flutter every time he said it.  

He relaxes in his chair and opens his arms. You slowly make your way over sitting on his lap. Your normal uptight demeanour relaxes almost instantly as his strong arms engulf you making you feel safe. You hide your face in his neck, closing your eyes. This had become routine after a rough mission, but lately it's been happening more often. If you weren't going to him he'd be coming to you. You were the only ones that could bring each other back from the brink of destruction. Sometimes you'd talk about what was bothering you, but usually you just held each other until one of you fell asleep. It was your typical run-of-the-mill platonic relationship right? After all, you two had known each other for almost 6 years. Why would your relationship change all of a sudden? 

You noticed that during this last mission things were evolving. Everyone noticed except John seemed to have been left out. He was much more protective over you to the point it caused the two of you to not speak for days other than exchanging plans. Thankfully the two of you made up, but there was still something off about the situation. You just couldn't put your finger on it.  

You're brought out from your thoughts wincing as his hand gently grazes the wound on your shoulder. A nasty reminder of how the last mission had gone.  

"Sorry love, how are you doing by the way? I know things have been hectic since we got back,"  

With a yawn you sit up to look at him. His piercing blue eyes scan your face with concern.  

"I'm doing alright just been having trouble sleeping because my comfy pillow has been busy." You tease with a smile and heavy eyelids. His warm presence is already lulling you to sleep. You lean back into the same position you were in with a little thud and he chuckles.  

"You might need to get a new pillow then. Its seems that one isn't doing his job"  

"Yeah, but he's more important things to pay attention to. I'll manage," you laugh at the ridiculous conversation.  

He tightens his hold and lays his head on top of yours as he sighs, 

"I know, I've been neglecting my pillow duties. I'll make it up to you."  

You felt lucky. The others didn't get to see this side of John. He cared for his team and their wellbeing, but he still puts on a tough exterior, except when it was just the two of you.  

"You know, this is really dangerous,"  

You felt his chest rumble as he chuckles, "And why do you say that?" 

"I think I'm starting to like you." You mumble sleepily. Though you said it jokingly, deep down you really mean it and it scares the life out of you. How could you start to have feelings now after all these years? Have you always had them and just pushed them down? It didn't matter. He was your captain and your friend. You're not about to ruin that.  

He chuckles again and squeezes you even closer, "It's a little too late for that realisation don't you think?"  

You laugh with a quiet "Mhm" and close your eyes again. You felt his large warm hand glide up and down your back lulling you asleep.  

Sunshine peeks through the blinds into your face waking you up. John is still fast asleep. He's sprawled out in his chair with one foot propped on his desk and both arms wrapped securely around you. You smile to yourself enjoying the moment.  

Before long John begins to stir and you feel yourself rise as he carefully sits up.  

"Well good morning sunshine," You tease.  

He rubs the back of his neck probably sore from the way he slept, "Good morning Osprey," his voice is raspy and tired as he tries to keep his eyes open. You wonder how much sleep he got. You try to get up, but you're pulled back into the chair. John wraps his arms around your waist and you feel sparks. A sense of giddiness floods your nerves as he rests his cheek against your back,"Please stay just a few more minutes." He whispers exhaustion radiating in his voice. He'd never been this clingy before, but you weren't complaining.  

Your heart is racing as you try to compose yourself before asking, "Did you get any sleep?"  

"Hmm, the last I remember is the sun coming up. What time is it now?"  

You looked down at your watch,"It's only 7,"  

"Have you been awake for long?"  

You shake your head. You can tell he's trying to keep himself awake by how much he pauses between each word.  

Rubbing your thumb over his knuckles you chuckle,"Go lay on the couch and try to get some sleep. I'll wake you before lunch."  

He hums in response,”I’ll just rest my eyes for a little longer.” 

His warm embrace soon releases you as you both stand up and he trudges over plopping down on the couch. Soon after you hear tiny snores escaping from his relaxed figure. 

You use this time to contemplate what you were going to do now that the team was on leave for the next three months. Normally you’d stay on base or travel around the UK or Europe, but you were feeling homesick. A small town in Montana is where you call home and it's been almost two years since you had the chance to go back. You look over at John who’s still fast asleep. You bite the inside of your cheek. There’s no harm in asking right? You’ve been on plenty of trips with him before. The only difference was at least one other person was always around. This time it would just be the two of you. You purse your lips before letting air escape from your nostrils. Fuck it. The worst he could say is no, and even then that wouldn’t be so bad. Confident in your decision you curl up in the chair deciding to set an alarm just in case you fall asleep, but instead your mind wanders about all the different possibilities of this trip. 

Before you know it your alarm is vibrating on the desk. You glance over to John before picking it up. He turns over, his hand dropping to the floor with a thud. He grunts running his other hand over his face before sitting up and looking over at you. 

“Sleep well?” You ask standing up.  

“It was good enough.” He never slept as well when you weren't near him, but he wouldn't admit it. 

“I’m going to go grab some food if you want to come with me or I could bring you something back?”  

“I was thinking we could go off base? I need a change of scenery.” He stands up and stretches, his shirt rides up slightly and you can’t help but stare. You realise what you're doing and shake your head. You then remember back to your proposal earlier. You’d ask during lunch. 

“Sounds good. These grey walls do make me gloomy.” You joke walking out the door to head back to your room.  

There's a cute little restaurant nestled in the outskirts of town. Vines of ivy adorn the building giving it a cozy feel, and on the inside the walls are filled with objects and photographs of families, celebrations and the annual foosball (or as your teammates would call it “table football”) champions. The floors creak as you walk to sit down in your usual spot. You smile up at the picture of John, Soap, Gaz and you grinning triumphantly with a little plastic trophy from the last time you were here.  

“Feels like ages ago doesn’t it?” John smiles at you warmly.  

“Yeah we should try to do it again at some point,” you look down at the menu even though you knew what you were getting. Now was a better time than any to ask, but why were you so nervous? You lick your lips putting your menu down,”Do you have any plans for leave?”  

He shakes his head,”I was just going to go back home why?” 

“I was thinking of heading back home myself, to the states. Thought you’d like to tag along this time. I could show you around, and if you really wanted to I could even take you to those touristy places. I’ve got ties to most of them so we might be able to see it without all the people.”  

”I’d love that,” he grins, sipping his tea,”It’ll be interesting to see what the notorious Osprey did back in the day.” 

See that wasn’t so bad. 

The two of you continue talking and begin planning your trip. Before you leave you decide to go a round on the foosball table. Thankfully there isn't anyone in the room which you're grateful for. You can let loose for a bit. 

You stand on your side of the table with your legs spread, knees bent and serious expression as you focus on the players. John smiles at the scene. He adores your competitiveness when it comes to these types of things.

"I know the stakes are high, but damn. You're going to bore a hole in the table before we even start." He laughs, placing the tiny ball in the middle of the table. 

"I'm getting that cigar and there is no way you're getting into my sketchbook," 

They were silly stakes, but if you know John Price you know how important his cigars are to him. Your sketchbook was very dear to you. You brought it everywhere to capture moments and scenery. It was a way to ground yourself and remember the special moments, but no one was allowed to look at them. 

"We'll see about that," he copies your stance with a smug grin. 

You're the first to have the ball as you move from side to side trying to keep it. You make the shot and it gets clipped by one of John's players flinging it back to the middle. 

You groan,"Oh come on." 

He takes control of the ball as you're both yelling at the little players. After constantly going back and forth for about 15 minutes John scores. You swear under your breath. 

"Best 2 out of 3?" You give him a toothy grin. 

He put his hands on the ridge of the table leaning forward with a smug grin, "That'd mean doubling the stakes wouldn't it?" 

"Ok, what do you want?" You cross your arms across your chest. 

He leans back thinking. He smiles to himself before shaking his head, "I want you to take me fly fishing." 

You drop your arms to your side chuckling, "I honestly thought you were going to put me on power washing duty or something," 

"I don't trust you or Soap with the power washer. Last time you both spent over an hour drawing in the concrete," he huffs shaking his head. 

"We got it cleaned in the end didn't we?" You laugh, placing the ball back on the table,"Ok for my double or nothing, forget the cigar, if I win you have to shave your face," you grin with your hands behind your back. 

He scoffs, running a hand over his beard,"No way. I'll give you a whole box of my cigars before I do that," 

"Oh come on, I thought you were confident in your foosball abilities?" 

He pauses for a second,"You know, you're right. What am I worrying about?" 

The table rattles as you both fling and twist the rods to take control of the ball. For a split second John glances at you taking in the scene. He loved little moments like these with you. It was like you were a different person. In the field you were cold and stern except when you were comforting someone, but here right now, you're relaxed and goofy and he loves every bit of it. He's thrown out of the trance when you start doing a little happy dance spinning around. 

"Baby face Price here we come!" 

He gives you a hearty laugh, "Don't get cocky now sweetheart. You just caught me off guard." 

"Yeah sure sure. Whatever floats your boat Captain." 

The next round lasts a little longer, but John manages to score the last shot. 

"Ah I can't wait to see what masterpieces you keep hidden away," he smiled triumphantly. 

You sneer trying to keep the smile off your face. You were secretly excited that he'd get to see your works. You just hope he likes them. You're bummed out that you wouldn't get to see the team's reaction when they saw their Captain without any facial hair though. 

"Oh come on, cheer up. You'll have other opportunities. No one likes a sore loser," a mischievous grin grows on his face as he cautiously makes his way to you. 

"Johnathan Price you better not," You point at him bracing yourself to make a run for it still trying to keep the smile off your face. He takes a bigger step than you anticipate and you yelp running to the other side of the room. It's a short chase, both of you laughing like a bunch of children before he cuts you off wrapping his arms around you tickling you. Oh how he loves hearing you giggle. It always warms his heart when he is graced with the sound. 

Your giggles erupt from your chest as you flail your limbs trying to get him to stop. 

He stops for a moment, "Forgot to ask, but do I need to get a can of worms for the fish too?" he grins, still holding you in his lap. 

You roll your eyes laughing "No Neal you don't need worms, but be sure to bring sunscreen." 

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh it's going to be that type of trip huh?" 

You shove him laughing,"You're such an ass." 

"Ouch right in the heart," He fains hurt making you roll your eyes again. 

"Ah you'll live Captain," you joke leaning back away from him. You try to hide your grimace as you roll your shoulder. 

"I completely forgot about your shoulder. Are you ok?" 

You give a small laugh seeing how his expression did a 180 from mischievous to worried. 

"Yes I'm ok, I did too honestly," you try to look at it. 

He gently lifts the bandage,"Stitches still look good. Must have just irritated it," he gives you an apologetic smile. 

"That's good. I'll take something for it tonight. Don't worry, I'll be alright." You stand up offering your hand, "Now what do you say we get out of here? It's karaoke night. Remember how much we love that?" You chuckle quietly remembering the time the two of you were drunk off your asses and decided to sing a duet to Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart." 

He groans, "Oh god please let's get out of here before that starts." He takes your hand as he stands up, "We might have time to go to Knacker's. I haven't had any in ages." 

"Can never say no to Knacker's." 

The two of you walk hand in hand back to the truck. Neither of you want to let go, but you didn't want to admit it either. Once you reach Knacker's and get your custard you decide to take a stroll along the pier and down to the beach. 

It was later in the evening now and the sun was starting to set. Some families were starting to pack up and others were enjoying the sunset. A stray football comes whizzing by, but John's quick thinking keeps it from going into the ocean. He smiles at the kid kicking it back. They pick it up with a grin and a 'thank you' as they run back to the group of kids playing. It was short and sweet, but seeing John with kids always made your heart flutter. 

You find a place to sit and finish your custard. The sky was now a pinkish colour with hints of gold scattered across the sky. 

"It's nice being able to just relax and be normal for a change you know?" You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your hands and chin on them. 

"It is. Not very often we get to huh?"

He leans back on his hands, sighing. 

It was silent for a bit before a thought came to your mind. 

"Have you ever thought of retiring? From the military I mean." 

"Not really. It's something I always thought I'd do until I can't. I would have liked to of settled down, but it's too late for that." 

You look over at him with soft eyes, "I wouldn't say it's too late. You've still got time." 

You see a distant flash of sadness in his eyes as he looks to the sky, but it quickly changes to that of a more joking expression to try and hide what he's really thinking,"I've got to find someone that can handle me," he nudges your shoulder playfully, "I can be quite the handful." 

You laugh,"Oh I'm well aware of that trust me." 

As the sun sets further below the horizon clouds begin to form and it starts to drizzle. 

"I guess we should get going before the bottom falls out," you sigh. 

John gives you a questioning and amused look, "Before what?" 

"Before the bottom falls out?" You roll your eyes and laugh, "before it starts raining really hard." 

"Between you and McTavish I can't keep up with your slang sometimes." He chuckles,"but I guess we should get going." 

He stands up and offers his hand and you grab it hoisting yourself up. You make it to the truck to see that the parking lot is empty. 

Before you get in you stop,"You know what I've always wanted to do?" 

"What's that?" 

"Dance in the rain. It's not lightning and no one's here." You grab your phone from your pocket and go to your dance playlist. 

The rain is heavier now. Not too hard, but enough that your clothes are soaked. John leans against the hood of the truck and smiles in amusement and amazement at you watching as you dance around letting the music guide your movements. You look so free and happy. 

He joins and the two of you dance and laugh until you accidentally bump into him almost making the two of you fall, but John catches you pulling you back to him. You're laughing hysterically while he's looking at you with a crinkle eye smile, "You're quite something you know that?" 

It all felt so euphoric. All you can do is give him a dopey smile. It was then you realise how close he was to you and you can feel your cheeks heat up. 

He looks at your lips and back up at you. He's about to lean down when a clap of thunder makes both of you jump back. 

"I think that's our cue to get going." He internally curses at himself for suggesting it and losing his chance. 

You chuckle as you nod and the both of you take off for the truck. 

A cold shiver runs down your spine as the air comes on. You quickly turn the vent away from you and turn on the heated seat. You prop up against the window with your arm looking outside. 

"Have you started packing yet?" 

You look over at him, "Yeah I did last night. I still have a little bit to pack though. Why?" 

"I have to talk with Laswell, but I do not want to spend another night on that God awful cot. Do you want to head back to my place after?" 

"It would be nice to have an actual bed," You chuckle propping your elbow on the middle console, "I hope I'm dried by then because I'm about to freeze my ass off." 

He chuckles, reaching behind him,"Take my jacket. It'll keep you warm." 

You grab the jacket and put it on. The famous smell of cedar and cigars engulf you as you close your eyes and smile. 

"Thank you." 

"Don't take too much of a liking to it though. That's one of my favourites," 

"Mmm you're never getting this back. It's mine now," you tease, shrinking into your seat closing your eyes. 

He chuckles, shaking his head. He admits he loves seeing you in his clothes. Something about it just made him feel so warm inside.

The ride back was quiet compared to on the way out. The silence was filled with the gentle patter of rain and the radio. John smiles over at you. Your hair was starting to curl up as it dried. Something you had complained about multiple times in the past, but he thought it was cute. 

You're still asleep as you pull into base. John gently nudges you,"Alright Osprey, we're back." 

You groan not wanting to move from the warm cocoon you had made yourself, but against your better judgement you open your eyes and take the jacket off placing it on the console for later. You hop out of the truck following John into the building. 

"I'll come get you when I get out of the meeting with Laswell and then we can head out." He gives you a quick smile and you part ways as you head to your room to finish packing.

You decide to wait to change until you get to John's because you didn't want to have to change again so you instead opt to just add a beanie to tame your wild curls.

You swing your duffle bag over your good shoulder as you hear a knock at your door. 

"Ready?" 

You nod with a smile and follow him out to the truck. It's still pouring out so you have to make a run for the truck. Once inside you repeat your routine from earlier and curl up against the console. 

As you get closer to his house he turns the radio down, "Have any idea what you want for dinner while we are out?" 

"I've really been craving Chinese since we got back," 

"I know a great place. We'll get it to go and bring it home." 

"Sounds like a plan. Can we please watch A River Runs Through It? I've been thinking about it all day," you say sheepishly. You've seen the movie at least a 1000 times, but it's easily your favourite movie because it reminds you of home. 

"Yes we can." he laughs softly. 

It didn't take long to order your food and head back to John's place. When you reach it you smile seeing the quaint little cottage that sat hidden away by the tall hedge fence and trees. 

You have stayed here before many times, but never just you. You and Gaz usually stayed over after long missions, and others had been a couple of times. The whole 141 team had stayed after celebrating a little too much one night. There was only one guest room and the couch pulled into a bed, but everyone wanted the bed in the guest room. At one point all of you were piled in the guest room on the queen size bed which felt a lot smaller at the time. Soap was laid on top of Ghost and Gaz laid sprawled out over you and Ghost like a starfish. How you all managed to get a decent amount of sleep was beyond you. 

"I'll get our bags and you get the food." The rain had picked up and you could barely see in front of you as you ran for the door behind John. Once inside you put the food on the counter and head down the hallway to the guest room to change. You take the beanie off ruffling your curly hair and decide to pull it into a high ponytail. You then change into one of your favourite hoodies and a pair of shorts and head back to the kitchen stopping by the washer to throw in your clothes and hang John's jacket up to dry. 

"So when was the last time you were able to watch this movie?" He chuckles handing you your food as both head to the den. 

"When I made y'all watch it actually. So about a year or two?" You sit on the couch cross legged eagerly waiting for the movie to start. 

While watching the movie you point out little details and talk about how much Missoula had changed since the film came out. John loves watching movies with you because he loves hearing what is going on in your mind. He could tell how much this movie meant to you just by the way you talk about it. 

As the ending credits roll you quickly wipe away stray tears that have managed to escape and try to cover them up, "I can take you to some of the spots they filmed at, but there may be quite a few people there this time of year. I know some secret spots too so either way we can enjoy ourselves." 

"Wherever you go I'll follow." He gives you that signature smile. 

You return it and yawn, "I think I'm going to turn in for the night," you pat his leg and stand up stretching, "I've had a lot of fun today though. Thank you for letting me goof around for a bit. I really needed that." 

"Anytime, we all need to let loose sometimes." He gives you a warm smile. 

You say your goodnights and head to the kitchen to throw your trash away before heading to bed. 

______________________________________________________________

You wake up in a cold sweat panting as you frantically look around the room trying to figure out where you were. You lean back against the headboard and close your eyes to breathe, but all you see are their lifeless bodies. Those who you couldn't save. This last mission had really taken a toll on you as much as you hated to admit it. You understood you couldn't save everyone, but that didn't make it any easier when it happened. You wipe your hand over your face trying to hold back the tears and slide out of bed. You notice your shoulder is sticky and you touch it seeing your finger turn red. 

"Oh fuckin' hell of course." You mumble to yourself sniffling as the tears are threatening to spill over.  You walk over to your bag to grab your med kit and head to the bathroom. You shut the door and hop on the sink after turning on the light. A few of your stitches had broken and they needed to be fixed. You've had to do this many times, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell. You bite the inside of your lip concentrating on the stitching instead of the pain. You hit a particularly sensitive area that made you flinch and hit your head on the medicine cabinet making you exclaim a rather loud,"fuck."

You hear footsteps as you're finishing up the last couple of stitches and a knock at the door, "You okay in there?" 

"Yeah I'm fine," Your voice was shaky and not very convincing. You finish off and go to bite the thread as the door opens. 

You freeze. Your teeth are still on the thread. You must look ridiculous right now perched up on the sink like this, eyes bloodshot, hair in disarray. 

"Wren, what the hell are you doing?" He very rarely used your real name, but when he did it usually meant he was concerned. 

You laugh nervously and then bite the thread, "My stitches broke and I needed to fix them." 

"What happened?" He reaches out to you but you flinch away. That's all he needs, to know exactly what happened, "You saw them again didn't you?" He spoke so softly as if any loud noises would scare you away. You just nod and the tears start falling as you start to shake. He gently wraps his arms around you and you cling to his shirt sobbing. It breaks John's heart seeing you like this. He wants nothing more than to take away all your nightmares and fears. 

"Shh it's alright love, you're ok." He strokes your hair placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. 

You don't know how long you stay like that, but you're finally able to breathe again, "Thank you," Your voice barely audible as you pull back to look at him, "I'm sorry about your shirt by the way." You are eye level with him, something you're not used to. 

"It's perfectly fine," he whispers chuckling, "Do you want to try to get some sleep?" 

You nod and he helps you down. You feel so small behind him, his tall frame towering over you shielding you from anything that would come your way. You head back to your room with John and crawl up on the bed sitting up against the headboard. You didn't want to go to sleep just yet. You're too afraid of what you'll see. 

John sits down on the edge of the bed and gently grabs your hand pulling you from your thoughts, "Do you want to talk about it?" 

You shake your head, "There's not really much to talk about. It's the same thing over and over again. I'm just standing there watching..." you trail off not wanting to continue. 

"But you didn't just stand there when it actually happened did you?" He takes your face into his hands. They're warm and rough, but gentle at the same time, "No, you fought and gave everything you had to try and save them. It's not your fault. Nobody blames you for what happened." 

You lean into his touch and close your eyes as a few tears escape, "Thank you John. That means a lot coming from you." 

He leans forward and places a soft kiss on your forehead, "I don't like seeing you so beside yourself like this. You know you can come to me if you ever need someone to listen." 

"I know. I appreciate you saying that." You give him a small smile. 

He stands up, but you instinctively grab his arm to stop him. 

"Please don't go," you responded quietly. 

He looks at you with soft eyes, "I'm just going to turn the lamp off." His voice was so soft it made you feel safe and at ease. 

You let him go and he walks over to turn off the lamp and then climbs on the other side of the bed. You scoot over to him and lay your head on his chest. He wraps his arm around you as you feel yourself drifting off to sleep to the sweet sound of his heart beat. 

'We're just friends right?' You both think to yourselves.

[farfromstrange]

Chaos Theory | Michael Kinsella x Reader

Chapter 6: My Reputation’s Never Been Worse

Masterlist ° Chapter List

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Michael heads home to pick up his documents to fill out the application form for his new job. Birdy visits and they have a heartfelt conversation about what’s best for him.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of violence and death, foreshadowing, Birdy being mom material

Word Count: 4k

A/n: Birdy redeems herself in this one. But also, Frank fucks shit up and Birdy Is So Done With Him™️

The paperwork his solicitor gave him lies neatly tucked away in Michael’s office. It’s not just his CV or application forms he has filled out before, it holds everything else that is somewhat important to get Anna back. 

He hasn’t gone to see her today. Maybe he should have, just to see if she’s still as happy as the day before. 

It’s a weird feeling to be occupied with something other than yearning. He’s learning how to walk again, your hand offering him support as he takes his first steps. Michael still felt somewhat stuck after getting out of prison and starting the whole legal process of regaining visitation rights for his daughter – and in time, custody. Now that you are offering him a brighter future though, he feels less stuck and more overwhelmed by the conflicted emotions that have bubbled up in his chest. Trying to leave a past like his behind is harder than he thought. 

He grabs the folder with his prison records and the remaining documents and heads downstairs again. He’s not sure when he will be back; all he knows is that he doesn’t want to be alone. 

Reaching the kitchen, a knock on the door stops him in his tracks. He can make out Birdy’s brown hair through the window, and he relaxes a little. With a heavy heart, he opens the front door. 

“Hey,” Michael murmurs. 

“Good mornin’, dear,” says Birdy, her eyes gentle with affection. She stares at him, waiting patiently for him to let her in. “How have ya been?”

Michael looks left, then right, checking if any more of his family members might be standing by. The coast seems clear. He steps aside silently to let her in and she follows. Still at the door, she cups his cheeks. 

“Ya look a little less tired than usual. Did you sleep well?”

He closes his eyes, leaning into her comforting touch. “Somethin’ like that,” he says. 

Birdy smiles at him. “Where have ya been off to, hm? When I came over last night, the lights were all out.”

“Does it matter?”

“I was just askin’. Considering the way things ended yesterday with you and Jimmy, I was worried. Life hasn’t been kind to ya, pet, has it?”

Michael chuckles sadly. Her hands drop from his face when he takes a step back and walks back into the kitchen where he left the folder before opening the door. 

“Your brother’s worried ‘bout ya,” Birdy says and follows him, her brown eyes roaming the house with precision. They fall on the documents in front of him. 

He slides his arms through the sleeves of his coat. It’s obvious that he only came to retrieve something and that he is about to leave again. 

“I’m not sayin’ you need ta come back, I’m just… I’m just sayin’ that Jimmy is your family and you should maybe talk to him. Yer important to us, Mikey, don’t forget tha’.”

He runs his hand over his beard. “If this were just ‘bout family, Birdy,” he says, emphasizing her name, “I wouldn’t hesitate. Ya know I wouldn’t. But to Jimmy, this isn’t just ‘bout family. This is about the business, too, and I told him and Frank that I’m done. They say they understand I want Anna back, but then they try to sabotage me, and that’s what makes me mad. I’m not a pawn. I just want my daughter back. They’re fathers too, they should get that, but they don’t.”

She takes another step forward. Birdy doesn’t have a threatening presence that would ever encourage Michael to shut down. Out of everyone, she is the most understanding, but he feels trapped, and listening to her trying to fix something he has no interest in fixing causes the blood in his veins to boil. He doesn’t want to get angry, but he feels misunderstood; it’s an awful feeling that he wishes he could turn off. 

“I get it, dear.” Birdy places a hand on his arm and he halts, dropping his own from the pile of papers on the dining table. “I get it, better than ya think. Losing a child is a pain that I would wish upon no one, and ya deserve to get Anna back,” she says. “The wee one is yours and she belongs here. I understand why ya don’t want t’ come back. Jimmy is a bit daft sometimes.”

The smallest hint of a smile plays on Michael’s lips. Then, his features harden again. “Frank is just thinkin’ ‘bout himself,” he says. 

“That’s true, but that’s how Frank is.”

“Well, I don’t appreciate it.”

“And ya don’t have to, pet.”

“Then why does it feel like everyone expects me t’do what they tell me t’do? Do they think I’ll just bend to their every wish or what?”

She sighs. “They’re complicated characters–”

“That’s no excuse,” he cuts her off. 

“Yer right, it’s not,” Birdy says, “but we’re your family and we do care about ya, even when some of them can’t show it.”

“I appreciate it, Birdy, I do, but…” Michael braces his hands on the tabletop and leans against it. “Ever since I got out, I’ve been questionin’ my place here, in this family, and after all this talk about how bein’ a Kinsella might as well take Anna from me permanently, I–” Once again, he runs a hand through the hairs of his beard. “It’s toxic, and I can’t lose this case, Birdy,” he says and looks at her with his sad, brown eyes. “I really can’t.”

She nods. She’s always been the one to breathe humanity into the family and take over where everyone else was too stubborn to fight in the emotional sense. She has empathy, and Michael appreciates it more than anything. When he tells her something, he knows it won’t meet deaf ears or turn into an argument. She reminds him of you, in a way, except that with Birdy, there are decades of experience with the Kinsellas and himself, and she knows him inside and out – except for the parts he refuses to show, but that is still something a Kinsella understand easier than someone who has never been subjected to this kind of life. 

Birdy is like a mother to him, someone who cares when the world feels like breaking apart, but she’s there for everyone in the family, and sometimes the sliver of understanding she shows isn’t enough because she’s trying to negotiate with everyone, not just him. Family is important to her; to Michael, family feels more like a prison now. 

She wraps her arms around him, and Michael can’t help but melt into the hug. He places his head on her shoulder, exhaling a shaky breath. She rubs his shoulders and his back, patting his hair before she pulls away after a minute or two. 

“Anna is the most important thing in your life,” she states because she already knows. “And ya should fight for her. She’s your daughter and I know Allison would want ya to have her.”

He shudders at the name of his wife. He’s not so sure if she would approve. If what happened to her had happened to anyone else, she would have kept Michael from seeing Anna either way. Some things can’t be forgiven. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, “I’m tryin’. I only want what’s best for her.”

“I know you do. Yer an amazing father, always have and always will be.”

He pulls away from her touch completely, wiping his dry cheeks. “Just feels like I’m failin’ lately, y’know?”

“We’ve all been there,” she says with a reassuring smile. “That’s part of bein’ a parent, dear. There’s not just the joys.”

“My situation is different.”

“So what? Yer fightin’ for her, aren’t ya?”

“Yeah.”

“Then she’s gonna appreciate tha’, and she’s gonna forgive ya. Trust me.”

Birdy’s words function as a soothing lullaby for his bubbling anxiety, and Michael takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. He looks at the documents, then thinks about you, and he thinks about what his life would look like with Anna back in his arms. He could be a good father, he would try. He owes it to her. He has to repeat it like a mantra or he will never find it in himself to believe it. 

“Thank ya, Birdy,” he says. “Appreciate it.”

“Of course, pet. Like I said, ‘m just worried ‘bout ya.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“And I want ya to be happy, too.”

He nods. 

Birdy looks at the folder again. “What’re ya plannin’ to do with all this?”

Michael opens his mouth to answer, but the ping of his phone interrupts him and cuts through the tension. He takes it out and looks down, seeing your name pop up on his screen. His heart races. He knows you’re at work, so you’re safe; you texted him once you parked your car and reached the café. But you talked to your boss before your shift, and your shift is about to start any second now, so you either texted to break his heart and tell him you failed, in which case he would only blame himself, not you, or you texted to tell him you succeeded, which seems like a fever dream that he’s not sure he can believe. 

He opens your message with a shaky thumb, ignoring Birdy’s prodding eyes. 

‘Wednesday, 8 o’clock. My boss will hear u out. We just need to work on ur documents xo’

When he breathes out, it sounds more like a surprised gasp than an exhale. And then he smiles, failing at biting back any kind of reaction. 

He didn’t doubt your power of persuasion for a second, he only doubted himself, but you exceeded his expectations and you succeeded. He might actually get a better job and have someone else take a chance on him, and it would make getting Anna back so much easier. 

“Michael,” Birdy’s voice reaches his ears. 

He lifts his head, remembering that he’s not alone. 

Birdy doesn’t look particularly suspicious. She has a soft smile on her lips, eyeing him cautiously. 

“I’m sorry, what?” he asks. 

“Are you happy?” she repeats her question. 

He stutters. His eyebrows furrow and he thinks about the question. He’s not sure if he’s happy, but he’s not as sad as he was before. “I dunno,” he says. 

“Did ya meet someone?”

“If ya heard me and Jimmy fightin’, you know–”

“I want t’ hear it from you,” she says. 

Michael shrugs, the blood rushing to his cheeks. He feels like a boy all over again just thinking about you and the things you do for him. He’s an adult and yet the thought of you brings a giddy smile to his face and he forgets all words in the English language that could possibly be used as an answer; he can’t describe what he feels or what you’re like because it’s unique, and suddenly, he’s not as sad anymore. 

Birdy nods knowingly. “Does she make ya happy?”

“I dunno ‘bout happy,” he admits, “but I like her.”

“Good.” She strokes a hand through his hair. “You deserve it.”

“You know Jimmy and Amanda aren’t happy ‘bout–”

“Fuck ‘em then!” She surprises him with her harsh tone. “Whoever this girl is, she just made ya smile, and I haven’t seen ya smile genuinely in a while. Who cares what your brother or his wife thinks? If ya feel like she’s good for ya, you should go get her.”

“I’ve been stayin’ with her. But she doesn’t know everythin’.” He should probably stop talking, but his secrets have never not been safe with Birdy. So he finds himself pouring his heart out in ways he would be too shy to admit to you in person. “I want t’ tell her,” he says. “But seems like she’s not… she’s always so happy, so nice, so innocent, y’know?”

“Yeah. And that’s a problem?”

“Ya know it is.”

“Well,” she begins, but she cuts herself off.

“She’s always been so happy, but now she isn’t and I feel like she isn’t tellin’ me everythin’,” Michael says, “and it’s… it’s hard. Life’s hard with secrets. But I can’t corrupt her. Whatever she’s hidin’, I know she’s doin’ it fer a reason and I can’t… I just can’t.”

Birdy nods as if trying to understand where he’s coming from. “Well, does she like ya?” she asks. 

“I dunno.”

“Michael.”

“Fine! She said she likes me. She promised tha’ she could never hate me, and she knows who we are, which I know is fuckin’ dangerous in itself, but–”

“Then why don’t ya just tell her the truth? Maybe she’ll open up to you, too.”

His eyes darken as he lowers his gaze to the table again. “Wha’ if… What if she runs?”

“She doesn’t sound like the kind of gal who would.”

“Ya don’t know that. And the things I’ve done… Bein’ with me puts her in grave danger,” he says. “I’m afraid of losin’ her.”

Birdy meets his eyes. “This reminds me of somethin’,” she says. 

“What?”

“The last time ya were so worried, you fell in love with Allison.”

He sneers and lowers his head. “She’s not Allison.”

“No one can be Allison, that’s not what I’m sayin’. I’m sayin’ yer fallin’ in love, Mikey, and that’s all the protection she needs. ‘Cause when you care about someone, I know ya’d do anything to keep them safe.”

Her words, as kind as they sound, leave a bitter taste in his mouth. “You forget that Allison died,” he reminds her, “because I couldn’t keep her safe.”

Birdy purses her lips. For a while, she stays silent. She doesn’t know what to say, it seems. Michael’s chest heaves, the words still lingering in the air. 

“It wasn’t your fault, dear,” she whispers. 

“Except it was.”

“No, Michael, it wasn’t. And I need ya to see that someone who makes ya smile like that text just did is not someone you let get away.”

Michael pushes the balls of his palms into his eyes. “Birdy–”

“I understand why yer worried, but ya deserve t’be happy,” she says. “Talk to her. Show her she can trust ya and I’m sure whatever the poor girl’s keepin’ from ya will come out soon enough.”

He chuckles, his voice choking up with unshed tears. “How is it,” he says, “that you always know what t’say?”

“I’ve been ‘round fer a while,” she smiles, “and you might not think so, but I do know ya.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Mhm.” Birdy pats his back again. “How long are ya gonna stay with her?”

Michael straightens his back and rolls his shoulders, the ache in his muscles a faint reminder of the weight he’s carrying. “I, uh, haven’t decided yet.”

“Okay, I’ll try keepin’ Jimmy, Frank, and the whole lot off your ass ‘til then.”

“You’d do that?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t have ta thank me, pet. I just want ya to be the best version of yerself, and it seems like yer that with her.”

He stays quiet, not knowing what more to say to her observation. She says goodbye to him with a soft smile before he’s back alone again in his house. Making his way into the living room slowly, his hand ghosts over the bulletholes above the fireplace. 

He swears he can still feel the heat from the impact, the heat of blood on his hands and the residue stench of gunpowder, and death in the air.

His vision blurs, but it’s not a seizure this time. His vision blurs as tears start to sting in his eyes. Michael pinches the bridge of his nose, trying not to let it get to you, but it’s hard when all he can think about is Anna, Allison, and you. Remembering what happened has never been easy, but now it’s not just the past that scares him anymore, it’s a certain weariness of the future and his blood running cold at the possibility of the past repeating itself. 

He doesn’t feel human. The feeling is as familiar as it is alien because it evolves. It changes every time. He can’t escape the wheel of time, and he can’t escape the thoughts; they are a part of him now. 

Michael sighs heavily before tearing himself away from the living room. She shuts all of the windows and turns the lights off, stuffing the folder with the needed documents into the inner pocket of his coat, and then he grabs his keys to leave his house behind once more. 

In the house across the street, Birdy is standing in the doorway, watching Michael disappear down the street toward where she suspects he has called himself another taxi to take him away. She smiles, the words repeating in her head, I just want ya to be the best version of yerself, and it seems like yer that with her.

It is the first time she has seen him smile this brightly in a while, and his voice always gets a little higher when he talks about her. You. She has never met the mystery woman in his life, and she’s not sure if she ever will, but there is something about the way Michael talks about you that already offers her some insight – and she decides she already likes you. 

Walking inside, she locks the door behind her and makes her way into the living room. 

“Your coffee is disgusting,” Frank pipes up from the sofa and she almost gets a heart attack. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Frank!” Birdy exclaims and holds a hand over her heart. She shakes her head at how smug he looks just sitting there as if he owns the place. 

Frank puts his mug down with a smirk. “Sorry, didn’t mean ta scare ya,” he says. 

It’s a lie. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Birdy glares at him, taking the empty mug and carrying it into the kitchen. Expecting him to do his own dishes as Michael does would be a losing game. 

“You know, a few manners wouldn’t hurt ya,” she says. 

He gets up from his seat. When she turns around and sees the paper cup with the distinctive butterfly symbol on it, she frowns. Why would he complain about her coffee if he’s already been to the new café down the street? She has a lot of questions, but she’s sure Frank, loving the sound of his own voice, won’t hesitate to tell her. 

“Birdy,” – she turns at his tone of voice – “We need to talk.”

“About what?”

She thinks about Michael, and she hopes he won’t ask her directly about him or else she is going to have a hard time explaining it. 

“Michael,” he says. 

Birdy places the freshly cleaned mug aside. “What about him?” she asks. 

“Don’t play coy. Ya were just over to see him, weren’t ya? Is he back?”

“What do you want, Frank?”

“Remember Michael’s and Jimmy’s fight yesterday?”

“Vividly.”

“Remember how we overheard a certain name bein’ dropped?”

Birdy clenches her fist at her sides. She promised Michael she wouldn’t tell them, and she intends to keep that promise, but Frank isn’t a complete fool. She can’t help when he already knows something crucial, and he has ways of getting what he wants. All she can do now is damage control. 

She turns around, towel in hand. “How’s tha’ any of our business?” she questions. 

“How is it not? Whoever they were fightin’ ‘bout is clearly the reason why Michael quit his job at the dealership and decided to take a little… holiday,” says Frank. 

The look in his eyes is dark and she grows more defensive now that she hears the hint of a threat in his voice. 

“He just needs some time away. He’s been through hell,” she says. 

“Oh, I’m well aware, but we’ve all been there.”

“Prison, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“And losin’ your wife to a dumb mistake and losin’ custody of your daughter is something we’ve been through, too, aye?”

Frank meets her stern expression with an amused frown. “Michael has to learn how ta live with it. We’ll find a way t’ get Anna back, but we need him,” he says. 

“He said no. Doesn’t that count for somethin’?”

“In our current situation, no, it doesn’t. And now he’s dragged an outsider into this, Birdy–”

“Maybe, but ya don’t know the whole story,” Birdy retorts, “So maybe ya should keep your nose out of his business and focus on Eamon since you keep tellin’ us how much of a problem he is. It’s not the girl, that’s fer sure.”

“That’s why I need Michael and Jimmy. Together. Because of Eamon and everythin’ else that’s been goin’ down ‘round here lately. We’re losin’ men left and right.”

“Your son’s incompetence isn’t Michael’s or Jimmy’s problem, ya know?” Her smile is sour when she glances at him over the brim of her coffee. “Just sayin’, of course.”

He meets her with the same expression. “Funny,” he grumbles. 

“Thanks, dear.”

“Listen–”

“I told ya all I know,” she cuts him off. “Do with that as you will.”

“I went to visit the girl,” he says, ignoring her concealed warning. 

Birdy’s face pales. “You what?”

She promised Michael she would keep the rest of the family off his ass and Frank already got involved with you. If he finds out, things are not going to end well, she knows. After seeing how much he cares, Frank might as well sign his death certificate now. Michael is only sweet until he gets angry, and when it’s someone he loves who is even at the slightest risk of getting hurt, no one can stop him. 

“Sweet soul, that one,” Frank continues. “Really, really sweet. Bright, too.” 

“So what if she brings a little light into Michael’s life?” she says. “He needs it.”

“Light? We're in the dark business, Birdy. We can't afford distractions or complications.”

“Jesus fuck!” The mug slams down on the kitchen counter and fills the room with a loud thud. “Can’t ya just let the poor boy be?!”

“No,” his answer comes nonchalantly. “You don’t understand what’s at stake, it seems. Ya should know better at this point.” 

“Oh, I do–”

“No, ya don’t.”

“Mikey needs someone, and we don’t even know if it’s the one whose name we’ve heard. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I figured it out. It’s her,” he says. “Don’t ask me how I know, but I do.”

“Frank,” she warns. 

“What if we make it clear ta her that bein' involved with a Kinsella isn't the safest path to tread?”

At this point, Birdy is sure Frank has lost his mind. Her face falls and she is quick to interject, “Frank, you can't be serious. Michael would never forgive ya if anythin’ happened to that girl,” she says. 

Once he lashes out, Frank stands no chance against him. She has seen what Michael is capable of. There is a reason word on the street has it that crossing a Kinsella, especially Michael, is dangerous. Frank is walking on thin ice, and while Birdy would love nothing more than for Michael to give him a piece of his mind, she’s scared of what it might mean for you. 

Michael told her he’s afraid of losing you, and that Jimmy and Amanda's knowing is already dangerous enough, but Frank’s plan is nowhere near innocent. Birdy curses herself for telling him things will work out because they might not, after all. 

“It’s dangerous territory,” she adds, “just like Anna.”

He chuckles. “Birdy, my dear, I have no intention of causing her any real harm,” he assures her, but she can’t tell if he’s lying or not. “We just need her to feel a little discomfort, enough to question her involvement with us.”

Lies or not, either way, she hates the thought of whatever he has planned. 

She approaches him. “Frank, please reconsider. There must be another way–”

His tone is grave when he interrupts her once again. “No,” he says. “That is not somethin’ ya can change my mind on.  I can't have another person stirrin’ up trouble. It's a risk we can't afford. I’m gonna show her what she signed herself up for. She won’t make it a day in this family, Michael needs t’ see that. His wife’s death broke him; what do ya think will happen if he loses another one? Once she’s out of the picture, Michael will realize that pretty little love stories don’t have a place here and we can all move on. He can find a girl who’s already acquainted with the dangers, not some small-town British barista who looks like she can’t hurt a fuckin’ fly.”

“Frank–”

“Have a good day, Birdy,” he taps the counter, “And thank ya fer the coffee. Michael’s little girlfriend makes a mean Irish Coffee, but nothin’ outmatches your cheap brew.”

Birdy tries to stop him, but his determined strides carry him out of the door as if he didn’t just threaten to cause harm to someone Michael, his family, cares deeply about. 

She stands there, shocked and terrified. There are a few things she expected, but this was not on her list. And as she thinks back to Michael’s smile, she decides to find a way to keep you both safe without causing your lives to implode. 

Frank messed with the wrong Kinsella.

Tagging: @bellaxgiornata @shouldbestudying41 @your-not-invisible-to-me @glowstick-lesbian @ms-murdockswift @acharliecoxedfan @loveroftoomanyfandoms @mattmurdocksscars @roseallisonparker @1988-fiend @norestfortheshelbywicked

[lexy0108]

Your perfect Boyfriend (part 6)

Joe Quinn x fem reader

Warning ⚠️ adult content

So, you have decided to accompany Joe to wherever he goes next. You have to talk to your boss about taking off for an indefinite period. You're a little afraid of his reaction. Joe stays at home while you're going to the vet surgery you're working in.

He needs some time to sleep and chill out.

Your boss has time for you, thankfully. "So, you ask for a talk. What's the matter?" Your boss ask.

You tell him about your plans, avoiding to look into his eyes while talking. "Well, I honestly expected something like that after Mr. Quinn talked to me about the week off for you...." he replies, before you can answer, he goes on "I'm not happy to loose one of my best vets but I have an offer for you to keep you on the company, you could work from wherever you want, you just need the internet." He tells you about his idea of telemedicine services for pets. You think it's such a great idea and you love your job so much, it's just the perfect solution for you. You're really happy and agree gladly to his offer. You can't wait to tell Joe about your old/new job. The way home was way faster than the way to work because you're so excited. You run up the stairs, open the door full of excitement, till you remember that Joe probably sleeps. You close the door quietly. You cross the hallway on the tip of the toes and sneak into the living room to see if Joe is in there. He lays on the couch, eyes closed. You walk over to the couch, bend down and kiss him awake. He wakes up and pulls your body on hin own, you giggle. You are the one who breaks the kiss. "As much as I love doing this, I have to tell you great news..." you say.

"What's the matter, love?" He asks. You tell him everything about the new job offer, with sparkling eyes. Joe has the cutest smile ever on his lips as he listens to you. "I'm so happy for you, darling and a bit for me, too. Because we don't have to be parted from eachother from now on." Joe says after you finished.

Instead of saying anything further you kiss him. You can't believe your luck. Best job, best boyfriend, you're such a lucky girl.

You spend the whole day on the couch, chilling, watching TV and cuddling. It's just a perfect day.

On the next day you start to pack some clothes nd stuff for your journey with Joe. You are so excited, you already told your parents and your friends who are all happy for you. Joe is meeting Wesley today, so you can take you time to decide which clothes you really need. Your flight will take off tomorrow in the late evening. It takes the whole day to pack all the things you need. In the evening you prepare yourself a small dinner and relax on the couch. The cushions smell like Joe, you love his scent. Joe comes home late, he's obviously tipsy which makes you laugh the moment he enters the living room. "Heyyy Babyy, I had a few drinks with Wes, we initiated the new things comming" Joe says. "I'm happy that you had fun together. I packed my bag for your big journey while you were away. I'm ready to fly with you wherever you have to go." You say. Tipsy Joe moves to the couch and kisses you, a full open mouth kiss with a lot of tongue and very passionate. He tastes like alcohol, like a lot of alcohol. He stopps the kiss suddenly and walks to the bathroom, "I need a shower" He says. "Okay...," you answer. You decide to follow him in order to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. You watch him go in the shower, his body looks perfect. You look in the mirror while brushing your teeth. Joe looks incredibly hot. You can't restrain yourself, so you slowly take off your clothes and step into the shower. You look at Joe, he opens his eyes and looks in yours. Your mouth crash into eachother into a passionate kiss. After a few seconds Joe turns you around, one hand holds you by your throat, the other moves down your body. His fingers find your treasure region, you begin to moan. Your right hand reaches for the boner that's already built. You begin to move your up and down, massaging his dick. He adds a little pressure on your clit, your knees start to get weak. Your head snaps back against Joes shoulder. The movements of your hand are getting faster, in reaction a loud groan escapes from Joe. It doesn't take that long for you both to come. From the moment you both step out of the shower Joe is sober again. You're very tired and your eyes barely stay open.

"So, our journey begins tomorrow, are you excited?" Joe ask.

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to travel with you, to see more than these 4 walls and to awake every day on your side." You answer.

"Oh, Hun, believe me, I totally can relate to that. I love that I'll be able to share my new life with you." He says. From the moment you get into your bed you cuddle like your bodys can't live separated from eachother and fall asleep very soon.

As you awake on the next day, you feel your tummy go into spasm. "Oh no, not now" you think. You always have really painful menstrual cramps. You were so excited and happy to be with Joe again on the last days that you didn't recongnize the PMS symptoms. You moan from pain which wakes up Joe. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Did I hurt you?" Joe ask with a raspy, sleepy voice. "No, it's just, it's just these silly cramps once a month. Always at the right time." You roll your eyes. Joe jumps out of the bed "Stay here, love, don't move. I know what to do." He stay, leaves you very confused and amused behind. It takes a minute as you hear the frontdoor shut. "What the fuck is he doing?" Rhetorical question to yourself. You try to chill a little as you do what you've been told. 10 minutes later the frontdoor opens again which catches your attention. Joe rushes through the hallway into the kitchen. Another 5 minutes later he arrives in the bedroom again, a huge serving tray in his hands. He places the tray beside you and shows you everything he prepared for you. "Alright, I have a cup of tea, painkillers, fresh strawberries, your favorite fruits, some chocolate, crisps and a hot-water bottle for you. Did I miss something?" He asks, as he sees a tear of happiness roll down your face. "You're perfect, Joe. How did I get through this without you the last months?" You answer.

"Well, I'm totally not perfect, I'm just happy that I can support you a little after all the support I recieved from you since we are together." He says. You kiss him gently and take the tea and the painkiller first. Joe helps you with eating all the stuff he brought. After half an hour you feel a lot better. You check your luggage again and make sure you exactly know where your passport is. Ready to take off, it'll be a long flight. Your journey starts in LA, you've never been there before. You leave your flat a few ours before the plane takes off, take a last look through the rooms cause you don't know when you'll be back.

To be continued...

[shesay]

I need some advice. I recently was broken up with and I'm reeling from it. We met when i was 19 and he was 32 and we ended up hooking up 6 years ago. He didn't tell me until after we hooked up that he had a wife which started a crazy feud, but he eventually divorced his wife and convinced me to be in a relationship with him. The relationship was pretty rocky at first because he was very emotionally abusive. Like he would constantly reprimand me for doing the wrong thing and saying the wrong thing and would lecture me for hours and not let me sleep until I agreed with him. I used to live with him sometimes because my mom got evicted and i couldn't hold down a stable job because I had an untreated learning disability and he would pick fights with me every day when I would say/ do the wrong thing and sometimes he would even kick me out.

While he did all this its v confusing bc he was also very good to me at the same time?? He helped me out when I was evicted and let me live rent free with him. He helped me get my diagnosis and helped me look for a job. He helped me get over some of my insecurities and would urge me to go to therapy and helped me get my driver's license. The last 2 years he started becoming more spiritual and became a lot nicer to me (He would still reprimand me but not as often) and urged me to do yoga and meditation. He started getting serious and during that time he was throwing ideas around of leaving everything behind and going to a yoga center etc. I was so drained atp from the constant mistreatment and feeling like I wasn't a priority so I went outside the relationship to explore my options. i met a guy that I was going to meet for dinner and just talk to, but I was drugged and assaulted. I felt so guilty that I told my boyfriend and he broke up with me. This was a year ago. Since then, we've been on and off because he would come back but couldn't commit because he couldnt trust me. Early this year he moved to a different state and he reached out to me to ask if I wanted to visit him out there in the summer. I was cautious but I agreed because I missed him. We started calling and texting every day and he started hinting that he wanted a relationship with me again. I started catching feelings again and was grateful for the opportunity to make things right because I fucked up. I bought the plane tickets and two days after I bought them he told me that he was getting women flirting with him out there and that he wanted to explore his options. I was so upset and I asked him why we couldnt work things out, he told me he still couldnt trust me after what happened. He told me it's best if I get a refund on the tix and just stay home. I felt so crushed, I felt like I was lead on and I feel so ashamed and guilty over what I did. The worst part is I felt like I ruined everything and it's my fault that the relationship ended the way it did. What do I do???? I have no friends and no one to talk to.

Omg 😭 idk how 2 advice u 2bh even tho I'm 20 and girls my age have been through alot of similar situations yk long term dating etc but I haven't thankfully anyways u were only 19 so young and naive and he was 32 🤮 and married he obv has no shame and u don't deserve what he made u go through and getting drugged and assaulted I can't imagine how horrifying that must be I'm v srry manifesting and praying 4 ur happiness and peace 💗 honestly i think uv been thru alot and u should take a break from males and focus on urself and ur own journey yk and i pray that u find good women friends who luv and cherish u.

[clairefoyanttt]

Chapter One

I filed for short term disability for burnout about two weeks ago. I'm still waiting for final approval from the leave group, but I'm reasonably certain it will be.

Step one was ensuring it was an option with my company. I reached out to HR, who is required to keep these conversations and inquiries confidential, and they confirmed it was an option but would need a doctor to say it was medically necessary.

Step two was getting my doctor on board. She grilled me, hard, because saying this is medically necessary when it isn't is fraud and if I was trying to pull a fast one, it's her ass on the line. She was, understandably, concerned as my previous anxiety self test had looked like an improvement and the one I took the day of our disability discussion was a drastic change for the worse. I think she probably thought there was a chance I was artificially nudging my scores. However, the day of my last appointment with her, I had an interview scheduled for that afternoon for a company that I thought was going to be a great change for me. They offered me great pay, the recruiters swore they were a family-friendly company, that they would be accommodating to my kids schedule, and it was closer to home. What actually happened was learning that the job was going to be significantly longer hours, zero opportunity for remote work, and a significant drop in paid time off. So yeah, I had been really hopeful in her last appointment, and still scored fairly high on anxiety but not as bad as I did the day I walked in there realizing that I either had to figure out a way to make things work with my current job, or I was going to be unemployed.

In fact, that's what I told her. I said that one way or another I was not going to be working as of February 23rd, either because I was on disability leave, or because I quit. I think that was when she realized that this was legitimate.

I also agreed to up my therapy sessions to weekly as opposed to the current bi-weekly schedule, I shared with her the steps I had taken to mitigate my depression and anxiety (gratitude journaling, meditation, taking walks in nature, eating better, exercising more, spending less time on my phone, socializing more frequently, sleeping better, etc) and assured her that I'd seen improvements at home, but work was still a disaster.

After our appointment, she and my therapist worked together, and the result is that my doctor has approved the request and believes it is medically necessary.

Yesterday I had my last day in the office, and my last day of work. I also had my annual review with my new-ish boss. The conversation was wonderful, if a bit uncomfortable, and I am genuinely excited about the goals we have set for this year and the projects I'll get to work on upon my return. That being said, it was hands down the worst annual review of my life. Inconsistently met goals, failed to meet goals, standards not set, it was a disaster. Luckily I fully expected it to be a disaster, so it wasn't a surprise and I didn't get upset.

You see, 10 years ago this year I joined the Army. Less than a year later, I was set to run my final PT test on a knee I had injured 6 months prior. I passed my push-ups, I passed my sit-ups, and all I had to do was pass a two mile run. Within a half mile, I knew my knee wasn't going to make it. Around the 3/4 mile mark, my knee gave out and I hit the deck hard. It took a second to breathe, popped up on my feet, and sprinted. My knee gave out again, and I fell. Then I got up, sprinted, and fell. I did this for about a half mile. I wanted everyone who saw me to know that I pushed myself. That I was strong. That I was determined. I thought that made me a worthy person. I failed my test that day, but it wasn't my fault. My knee just couldn't keep up.

Unfortunately, pushing through that pain also gave me lifelong knee problems. I am currently in physical therapy once again due to meniscal fraying because my knee was already weakend and unstable from my decade old injury and exacerbated by pregnancy, and carrying a child who now weighs 26 and a half pounds. I might have made a good impression on the people who saw me running that early morning in Arizona, but in my desire to be seen as someone who wasn't a quitter, I gave myself a lifelong injury.

This time, I failed again, and it still isn't my fault. My mental health is fractured after years of frequent change, the stress of COVID, the stress of being a full-time working mother, the stress of having an injured spouse, the stress of having no family nearby to chip in when things get tough, the stress of difficult bosses, the stress of living with a traumatic brain injury, the stress of ADHD exacerbated by TBI and mom brain... However, I can take ownership of my mental health and work to improve it so that I don't fail again in the future.

And that's my plan. During the coming weeks, I will try to rest a lot. I will try to stop beating myself up based on perceived expectations. The only opinions that matter to me, in order, are mine, my son's, my husband's, my dog's, and my boss's (and that's a distant fourth during this recovery time).

So, I will be a potato. I will sleep. I will binge comfort shows and video games. I will take long walks with my dog and have dinner with my family. I will play with my kiddo and spend tech free time outside. I will remove the things in my house that stress me, and show off the things that bring me joy. I will find rhythms for personal and home upkeep that I can maintain when I go back to work. I will go back to my creative roots and be happy creating things again.

I woke up this morning with my jaw clenched and my back on fire. For now, my goal is to wake-up rested instead of stressed. And that's enough for now.