#saxteen retirement au

[roxannepolice]

Saxteen retirement au isn't just about dilfs making out, you know! It's about mutual healing, it's about not one but two ways of finding excitement in the mundane, it's about accepting the want without moral or immoral justifications, it's about gazing at weight of age present on bodies that first met as twinks, it's about embracing the repressed, it's about...

It's about putting 50 year old men in bunny slippers, innit?

[veraynes-blog]

im so excited for saxteen retirement fic its ridiculous ! they go to tesco ??? yippee !!!!!

I'm so glad people are on board with this dumb mundane premise 😅😂 Tesco and gardening and family dinners. Except all of it is a lovely novelty because they never got to HAVE that before. It's healing and restful and kind of boring, it's domestic therapy for two former mass-murderers.

[icarusredwings]

He enjoyed the pie episode. He literally turned off the episode when they went into that kids body. He keeps insisting that shes the Rani in a different universe and often calls her "The bus witch" because "Humans aren't smart enough to invent the technology to shrink a sentiant bus and obviously the bus is just a TARDIS in disguise"

And now 14 is breathing into a paper bag and on the phone with his therapist because heS FUCKING RIGHT

What if the Rani IS over here trying to burn a bunch of kids alive in order to entertain other kids?

Saxon claps everytime one of the kids almost die and then boos when they don't.

Recently, Saxon has been getting into The Doodlebops instead of teletubbies and everyone in the house is like "Thank god" because Donna swears if she has to hear "tinkie winkie" one moRE TIME-

I imagine 14 sitting with him and asking about the show. His favorite is Moe because Moe is the orange one and he likes orange..... no other reason 👀 Definitely not because he reminds him of little Theta being a wacko.

"Whats this episode about?"

"Moe doesn't want to be small anymore. See he says that the coat isn't too big, hes too small, which is hilarious because hes a fully grown man and the joke of this episode is that theyre telling him hes going to have a growth spurt- Haha! They're so cruel."

And its now that 14 realizes that no, his husband isn't learning about helping others and friendship, in fact the only thing he's taken from this entire episode is that Moe is short and the others are making fun of him, even though that is literally the oppisite of what happened.

He also likes Gigis talking mirror puppet cat, who is often grumpy and negative but the doodlebops teach the cat how to be kind.... the Master disagrees. "No no, the cat is right. They look ridiculous like that and it should be said."

They are also planning on showing him:

Max and Ruby

Oswald

Sid the Science kid

Little Einsteins

And Fresh Beat Band

(though the doctor is worried this might be boring since they are people and not silly characters or 2D drawings)

So far, they've tried:

Dora

Blues clues

And Barney the dinasour, and he hated all of them.

(Sometimes, if 14 is being really annoying, Donna will turn on Bill Nye and just walk away)

[the-mxster]

“Well obviously Spy is in the tooth.”

“No, no it’s gotta be Saxon.”

“You’re both wrong, it’s clearly Missy.”

WRONG, ITS ALL OF THEM. NOT JUST THOSE THREE, EVERY SINGLE MASTER INCARNATION. TOYMAKER WAS IN HIS POKÉMON ERA AND CAUGHT THEM ALL.

[wispedvellichor]

Donna: Master, that’s disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people. Doctor: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. Master: Oh yeah? *gets really close to Doctor* How about a muffin on the house baby? Doctor, giggling: I’m pretty.

[spideysenze]

saxteen retirement au but i’m the Doctor bc i want that old man

[roxannepolice]

My hand might have slipped...

The atmosphere between the last two of the Time Lords was so thick one could no more cut it, but cut with it. The Master's cold ironic smirk was a fitting response to the Doctor's fuming rage. - Have you honestly put it in the empty space under your stupid hair that you insist on calling a brain - he drawled - that every sentient being in the universe has developed the same delusions of freedom that your beloved humans have? - This is no delusion! - the Doctor shouted back. - Freedom is something every being knows insticitvely, and craves it from the core of their sentience! - I assure you, each one of them would trade a life in a tight small cage for a speck of safety! - But that's the thing, they do not have to choose, they can have and should be granted both! - OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! - Donna finally exploded - The free range eggs just do taste better, so get you sound and vision gizmos working and fetch them from the highest shelf!!! 

Now we’ve had this bi-generation I just think we should go full unhinged and have gold tooth turn into Simm Master. Have a full ‘why has this face returned?’ parallel. Shove him into retired life with Tennant’s doctor. Scale down their enmity to absolutely microscopic proportions. From cosmic scale to just domestic life. Have the Nobles stuck in the front row watching them sort their shit out.

I want them trying to survive Sylvia Noble together. I want them at war with their neighbours. I want them battling with the chaos of Evri deliveries - ‘not even the TARDIS can locate the safe place they’ve apparently left it in’. Have them arguing in Tesco over whether it really matters whether eggs are free range. They can make up by getting their own chickens which The Master can regularly threaten to roast much to Rose’s horror (but he won’t because he named them after the Teletubbies and The Doctor knows he’d never hurt Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa or Po… and he just enjoys having dominion over lesser creatures or something 🙄)

I want aliens turning up for their regularly scheduled fuck with London at Christmas time moment only to be faced with the two of them in their matching Noble family Christmas jumpers (and they will be wearing them because have you met Donna?) And no, The Master hasn’t gone soft, he doesn’t care about Earth in general, but the Strictly final is on and he’s a little invested in that.

I want Donna, in her new UNIT job, explaining this to her new colleagues. Because they know The Doctor and The Master, they’ve seen the files, and they just…live in her garden now.

[the-patrex]

Genuine question from your arts for my saxteen retirement au ☺️ What is Fourteen's earring made from and is it any specific jeweller?

I always picture it being pearls, maybe even fake cheap pearls, cant picture the Doctor actually buying high end stuff. They would wear the real deal if given to them by Donna or the Master or any other of their friends, but if they were buying it for themself? Cheap fake stuff exclusively

[roxannepolice]

And this is what Temple-Nobles keep in their backyard.

[veraynes-blog]

i am genuinely very excited for saxteen retirement au because you will be putting the Doctor and the Master in A Situation but the Situation is in fact the average middle class experience :)

Yesss you see the vision 😂💕 I suspect Tesco will be particularly thematic. As will cooking, neighbourhood bullies, and the survival or destruction of a mole empire (at this time undecided).

[roxannepolice]

Axolotl is actually short for AseXual Obstretics of Last Of Time Lords.

This is the plot of Doctor Who

[roxannepolice]

Canon Saxon vs. saxteen retirement au Saxon really boils down to main story vs. alternative timeline Puss in Boots

bonus spot the difference

[roxannepolice]

Never done this before, but maybe someone will have a giggle out of a snippet of my saxteen retirement AU 🥰

The Doctor found the Master at the buffet table, helping himself to a rather disproportionate piece of cake. Well, at least he grew basic cutlery manners with the goatee... The Doctor cleared his throat.

- Still quite... voracious, are you, then?

- Oh yeah - the Master answered between bites - the Time Lord council all voted to spare my life and heal... whatever it was Lucy gave me. No time to waste soldiers, they said. Were low key grateful I freed them from that face of Rassilon's, if you ask me. But mister president insisted on some punishment. "You shall keep that obscene metabolism and with it the grotesque hunger", he pronounced - the Master parodied Rassilon's mannerisms and took another bite of the cake. - Leave it to that idiot to think no civilization came up with food that's actually tasty.

The Doctor was aware of what the Master was saying, but really he was busier staring at the other's fingers venturing right to his lips. He cleared his throat again and leaned against the table right beside the Master, his hands behind his back. The other Time Lord side eyed him with a raised eyebrow. The Doctor tilted his head, exposing his long neck and licked his lips. He was aiming for sensual, but the effect was closer to a drunk flamingo figuring out the length of its beak.

- It is a bit warm here, isn't it? - he said, a bit too loud, and unbuttoned his collar.

- That may have something to do with shoving your hand in warm cheesecake - the Master stated, corner of his lips mirroring the raised eyebrow. The Doctor looked back in surprise and found a plain piece of culinary artwork richer for a hand shaped indentation.

- Shit! - he cursed and looked around for a napkin, only for the Master to grab his wrist and start wiping off the worst bits.

- Shouldn't go to waste... - he murmured at a larger spot of cream and without a warning flicked it off the Doctor's hand with his tongue. And that was just too much.

- I'm not against it, you know! - he blurted out, crimson blush rising up his cheeks. The Master spared him only a short glance. - I really am not, yeah, I'm not as... keen... as you... not keen at all in fact, but not against it, either! Like... if you'd like... then I'd like what you'd like... if you'd- like- me... - the Doctor's rambling turned into stammer.

- I'm sure I have no idea what you mean, my dear - the Master purred and licked a crust from his beard.

[roxannepolice]

Aaand the coda's up, all with Guns'n'Roses and Goethe!

Seriously, writing this was so much fun! I feel it healed me on a deep level :3

And, as warned, this is now officially the beginning of a series. Consider this longer story as establishing the bubble universe in which a bunch of Temple-Nobles' dog and cat adventures vignettes happens (to be released as I get inspiration, though I already have some ideas). Huge thanks to everyone who commented and encouraged me, either on AO3 or here. And yes, I'm absolutely accepting prompts for their epic shopping trips, valentines, Sylvia defying and other adventures fitting two Time Lords in a retirement bubble :D

[roxannepolice]

What I said about the Master's incoming call signal 😁

[roxannepolice]

And here's the first vignette of Saxteen Retirement AU domestic fluff!

Big thanks to @the-worms-in-your-bones for letting me use your vision, hope you like the result! 😁