#saw this on tv live and he looked so hot even tho he lost | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shorkbrian · 4 years ago

Note

💖💘my heart’s dizzy and I my dose of serotonin whenever I read your prose🤟🏽😩 was wondering if you could do reader with an erratic future-vision!quirk so when they first meet yandere!Hawks they’re suddenly plagued by erotic, sensual, 365days-level of disturbing visions of them, so reader actively avoids them (it’s like those Tik Tok future-seeing videos playing to “Play Date”)

Prelude - Hawks isn’t a famous pro-hero in this, but he still has his quirk. It’s not really mentioned a bunch tho lol. This is rlly long, but I decided not to put it into two parts because the smut is so slight lol. Hope this meets your expectations anon, thank you for reading!

Pairing - Keigo Takami X Reader

Warnings - NSFW mentions, dubcon, noncon. No out-and-out explicit smut, just a really long story. Hawks is manipulative and gets what he wants

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukAQcKEIJuzIbP55xp07x?si=iz6I-RoDSdCNYhT2Du8etg

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was a friend of a friend, someone you had only met once or twice.

Your friend kept bringing him to hangouts, he kept showing up on her instagram feed, getting mentioned in her twitterbio, and eventually it came out that they had started dating. It didn’t catch anyone by surprise.

What did catch you by surprise, was how infatuated with him your friend was.

“He’s just sooooo hot, isn’t he?” She squealed, shoving her phone in your face to show off a shirtless pic he had just sent her.

You nodded in agreement, quickly appraising the pic before turning your head. Yeah, her boyfriend was attractive, but you weren’t one to ruin relationships. Plus, you and Keigo had never really talked past the brief “Hey” and “Wassup?” said in greeting when introduced the first time.

“Can he come to the mall with us on Friday? I promise there will be no third wheeling.” Your friend begged, clasping her hands together. You thought about it for a second - this had been a fun shopping trip the two of you had planned a few weeks ago, meant as a girls date on a day the mall wouldn’t be crowded. But would it really hurt anything if her boyfriend came along? Probably not.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, watching your friends face erupt into a wide grin. “But don’t ditch me to go makeout in a bathroom or something, got it?”

“Sir yes sir!” Your friend faux saluted, before patting you on the shoulder. “Thanks girlie!”

You jerked back, head suddenly swarming with visions, your quirk activating. Your quirk was helpful in some ways, but you mainly tried not to use it - headaches resulted, and you hated getting glimpses of the future. Sometimes they’d be good, but they were often bad - you had gotten a screenshot glimpse of your brothers death, his face marred and bleeding out onto the pavement.

It still made you sick to think about it.

Touch wasn’t something you could always avoid, but you tried, seeing as how it activated your quirk, giving you visions of your future with whomever you touched, or whoever touched you.

You saw your friends face, eyes puffy with tears, shouting something. Then another scene flashed, your friend on TV, talking to a reporter.

Thankfully, the visions ended, this episode relatively quick due to how short of a time she touched you.

“Oh shit, I forgot, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to apologize, holding her hands up and backing away from you.

“It’s-it’s fine.” You wheezed, waving your hand in the air to signal that it wasn’t a big deal. The vision just probably meant the two of you would get into a fight soon, which wasn’t uncommon. It was fine, you were fine.

——

The mall wasn’t too crowded, which made the day pleasant. Your friend was talking to her boyfriend, hand tangled with his as the three of you walked in.

“So (Y/N), what do you think about that new Victoria’s Secret launch?” Your friend bumped you with her hip, drawing your attention as she pulled you into the conversation between her and her boyfriend.

“Oh, um… what?” To be fair, you had zoned out when the couple started being gross and mushy, which was like, the second your friend met Keigo at the door.

The blonde man laughed. “Victoria’s Secret just launched a new line of lingerie, have any thoughts about it?”

Turning red, you smiled sheepishly. “Ah, well…. From what I’ve seen of their stuff it’s… nice? So I’m sure it’s good.”

Your friend mock-gasped, almost slapping you on the arm before quickly remembering your quirk, drawing her hand back. You gave a quick nod of thanks.

“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you didn’t even know about it?! I practically live, eat, and sleep Victoria’s Secret, it’s impossible to miss their product drops when you’re one of my friends.”

Unsure how to respond, you floundered, opening and closing your mouth like a lost fish.

“Babe, leave her be, she’s probably just shy.” Keigo stepped in, giving his girlfriend a chuckle as he steered you both towards a shop.

“Fineeee.” Your friend whined, turning to focus on the task ahead. “They have a VS shop here though, you’re not getting out of here without going in with me!”

----

The VS store was huge, smelling sweetly of flowers, bright colors assaulting your vision, soft pop music filling your ears.

It was hard not to cringe at all the fancy lingerie, you were honestly a bit embarrassed to be strolling through the store with your friend, let alone her boyfriend by her side.

“Does-does Keigo mind?” You quietly asked your friend, out of earshot of her boyfriend, who was looking at perfumes, last time you checked.

“Not at all birdie, I’m used to clothes, any form, any shape.”

You whirled around, squeaking in surprise at Keigo, who had apparently finished with browsing the perfume. He was flashing you a 1000 watt grin, continuing with what he was saying. “I’m a model, practically every girl I’ve ever met I’ve seen in less than full underwear, it’s no big deal.”

“Oh…. Cool.” You offered, cheeks turning red again. You felt like such a blushing schoolgirl, turning red when faced with looking at bras and panties, flushing when a man got too close.

It was the nature of the store, you told yourself, that was making you so embarrassed.

“Oo! What do you think of this one?” Your friend was holding up a babydoll, pink, with light fabric and zero coverage.

Keigo wolf whistled. “Man, that’d be a good look for you. Lets buy it.” The couple moved on, pointing at different clothes, your friend occasionally picking one from the rack to hold up against her body, looking for Keigo’s opinion.

They were cute together, laughing over the cheesy names on the tags of the lingerie, holding hands as the browsed, your friend occasionally stopping to plant a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek.

“I think that’s everything that I like…. (Y/N), your turn!” Pulled out of your casual observance, you back pedaled. “Me? No, I’m not really the type to wear this kind of stuff - I don’t even think most of it would fit, I have weird proportions.“

“Nonsense!” Keigo looked around for a moment, going to the nearest rack to quickly sift through bras, before pulling one out. “This one would make all the boys drool over you honey.”

He held it out towards you, shaking it slightly when you hesitated to take it. Was your friend okay with him talking to you like that, pushing underwear at you to buy? A quick glance sideways showed she was more than okay with it, clasping her hands excitedly as she watched you.

The bra was sheer, soft lavender fabric forming the cups, an intricate embroidered detail of flowers dotted haphazardly over the bra. It was pretty, but you weren’t exactly partial to it. When would you wear it? Who would you wear it for? You weren’t sure it was your style. Plus, it probably wasn’t even your size.

“My arm’s gettin’ real tired.” Keigo joked, before you finally took the garment from him. Checking the size, you paused for a second, blinking towards the man.

“How did you-?”

“You spend enough time in the fashion industry, you learn to tell a girl’s size just by looking at her.” He seemed to puff up, as if he was proud of his bra-sizing skills.

“Let me help her pick out some things too!” Your friend cried, rushing past you to head over to the next rack, ushering you to follow with a wave of her hand.

You ended up with an armful of lingerie - bras, panties, an odd bustier or two, and some other flowy items, like a sheer robe and a lacy chemise. The choices weren’t exactly made by you, more so made by a combination of your friend and Keigo together. They had alternated holding up items towards your body, comparing color and garment cuts, lost in their own mushy-gushy world, and it was almost like you didn’t exist for a few moments, nothing more than a barbie doll to dress up.

But now the three of you stood in line to checkout, and you felt included again, your friend cracking jokes that were making you snort, Keigo watching the two of you interact.

Until your friend accidentally brushed against your arm as she shifted forward in line.

Again, you saw her tearful face, heard her sobbing, before the other scene flashed, of her on TV, talking to the reporter. She still looked upset, eyes rimmed red, nose running, hair a mess.

With a gasp, your vision returned to the present, and you were wobbling on your feet, almost falling.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so so sorry. Here, let me take that, go sit down by the entrance.” She fussed over you, face concerned as she carefully took the stack of clothes from your arms, making sure to not make contact.

“Oh fuck, is she alright?” You heard Keigo ask, your friend stepping in front of you as he moved forward to check on you.

“Yeah, she’s just feeling a little dizzy. Can you make sure she doesn’t fall and crack her head open? Just wait by the entrance please.”

“Okay. Oh, here-“ You were a bit dazed, but you saw Keigo fish his wallet out of his pocket, thrusting the entire thing into his girlfriends hands before patting her on the shoulder “Whichever card is fine.”

And then you were stumbling towards the entrance, towards the bench right outside.

You hated seeing the future. Why was your friend crying? What had happened to elicit such a reaction? The unknowns killed you, kept you up at night as you tried to puzzle out the events that could lead up to the scenes from your visions.

Not looking where you were going, you tripped on air, unable to catch yourself as you plummeted towards the ground.

But then you were seeing Keigo.

He was above you, face flushed and sweaty, hair tousled, his chest bare. The room was dark, barely lit, and he was so close. The man leaned down to kiss you, then the scene changed.

You were bent over a table, only able to see the solid wood your face was smushed against. There was a heat in your belly, a tingling between your thighs, and pressure. Someone was talking - Keigo, muttering behind you angrily. You head was pulled up, a hand fisted in your hair, and then one of your knees was pushed up onto the table, and the pressure inside exploded into pure pleasure.

You felt yourself screaming, bucking your hips as you suffered through whatever the feeling was.

The scene changed again.

Hands tied above your head, you were pressed against a wall, sitting on some kind of…. Saddle? Your legs couldn’t touch the ground, and you squirmed, before gasping loudly.

There was a nub in the seat, ribbed and textured, slick with some kind of liquid… From you? Then you saw Keigo, standing in front of you, smirking at you with hardened eyes.

He had something in his hand, arms crossed over his chest while he fiddled with the object, muscles flexing. He was shirtless again, and-and his cock was hanging out of his sweatpants, pressed against his belly, smearing precum over his skin.

You tried to say something, anything - the visions never lasted this long, it was too intense, there was so much sensation. But your mouth wouldn’t move, choked up.

Keigo’s hand was on his length, rubbing slowly, saying something that didn’t reach your ears.

The scene changed.

Something was shoved down your throat, warm and twitching. You were sobbing, choking, clawing at whatever was in front of you. A dark laugh filled your ears, and you opened your eyes, met with the clenching abs of a strong stomach.

Keigo was brushing your tears, no, smudging them over your face. Were you wearing makeup? His cock was sitting in your throat, his hips moving in tiny jerks, stabbing your esophagus, making you gag.

Then you were back in the present.

A hand was holding your arm, keeping you from falling and making contact with the hard floor.

“-N)? (Y/N)? Are you okay? Talk to me birdie”

You made a panicked noise, pulling yourself out of Keigo’s grip so fast that you fell flat on the floor, scrambling backwards away from the man.

He almost looked scared, confused as he followed after you, holding out his hands. “(Y/N), you gotta calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”

The man reached for your arm again and you pressed yourself against the floor, screeching out a loud “No!!” before he could touch you. Keigo paused, looking at his hand, then at you. “Hey, hey, I’m not gonna touch you. It’s okay little birdie, you’re alright.” He cooed, sinking to his knees in front of you.

You were hyperventilating, wide eyes trained on Keigo. Your thoughts were swirling in your head, you couldn’t focus, the sensations of the future still echoing through your body.

Keigo crouched there while you steadied your breathing, talking to you the entire time, trying to help you relax and calm down. You weren’t sure what he was saying, something about the weather? Or a dog? But you could feel your breathing evening out, head clearing.

“Hey, she fall?” You friend was carrying two bags, crouching down beside Keigo, cocking her head at you.

Her boyfriend nodded, turning to her and taking one of the bags. “I caught her, but then she freaked out and fell for real.”

Your friend nodded. “I should’ve told you earlier, she has a touch-based quirk. Every time someone touches her, she sees snippets of her future with that person.”

Keigo cocked his own head, gazing at you curiously. “I guess her future with me isn’t too positive then?”

Your friend shrugged. “Eh, she just hates seeing parts of the future. She doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, makes her worry or something like that. Don’t take it too personally, she’s like that with everyone.”

“It-it-“ you rasped out, causing both sets of eyes to swivel towards you. “-I hate it... because-‘cause I can’t ever cha-change it.” You shivered.

Keigo nodded in understanding, before rising to his feet. “Think you can walk to my car? I’ll drive you two home, I think you’d benefit from some rest.”

He dropped you off at your apartment, and you wearily waved at the couple as they drove off, before heading inside.

----

A week passed, then two.

The visions you had concerning Keigo were plaguing your mind, filling your body with anxiety. There had been a distinctive feel of fear during each one, and despite all the other various sensations felt, the most overwhelming had been distress.

Whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to like it.

You were holing up in your apartment, ignoring your roommates when they knocked on your door, only leaving your room to eat or grab water. You couldn’t sleep, too scared you’d have dreams, or more accurately, nightmares of what you had seen.

Curse your quirk.

Trying to pass time, desperate to keep your mind off of the future, you threw yourself into any activity you could find.

First you tried coloring - it was supposed to be relaxing, but it gave you too much time to think.

Then you tried gaming, spending hours in front of your computer mashing the keys. That worked for a bit, but your eyes and head soon protested.

You listened to music at full volume, tried several workout videos, even resorted to cleaning your space with fervent energy.

None of it took your mind off the inevitable.

“(Y/N), someone’s at the door asking for you.” You jerked awake, slumped over uncomfortably on the floor, the half finished card tower in front of you promptly knocked over at your erratic movements.

“(Y/N)?” Your roommate called again.

“Yeah! Coming, sorry.” You mumbled, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. You guess your body would give out sometime and force you to fall asleep, but as you moved to stand, you sorely wished your body had chosen a more comfortable place to pass out.

Opening the front door, you immediately took a cautious step back, sleepy demeanor vanishing.

Keigo smiled at you, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a bouquet of flowers.

Flowers?

“Hey birdie, mind if I come in?”

You stared at him for a second, immediately on guard. Why did he have flowers? Why did he want to come in? Wasn’t he dating your friend? She didn’t live here, what was he doing here?

The man cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at you. You moved to the side, holding open the door for Keigo to come inside.

Your roommates were home. If anything happened, they would be within earshot.

Keigo shot you a smile and a thanks, before immediately moving into the small living room, taking a seat on the couch. When he saw you still hovering by the open door, he patted the cushion beside him.

“Come sit, I promise I don’t bite.” He thought for a moment, before grinning. “Well, not unless you want me to.”

Hesitantly, you shut the front door, going to sit in a ratty armchair further away from the winged man. If this bothered him, the man didn’t let it show other than a short pause before he spoke.

“So, I know it probably seems like, super weird for me to show up at your apartment, but hear me out.”

Flowers were shoved in your lap, Keigo taking great care to avoid touching you. “I felt bad about the other day, and my girl and I decided that we should get you some flowers. She picked ‘em out, it even says so on the note.” The man laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“She’s so uptight about this kinda stuff. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. If I had known, I would’ve let you fall flat on your ass. But I know now, so I’ll be better, cool with you?”

Finishing his little speech, Keigo held out his hands, wings stretching behind him to mimic the gesture.

Looking at the flowers in your lap, you felt your hands shaking. Picking up the little note attached to the bouquet, you found that your friend had indeed picked out the flowers, which made sense. They were your favorites, and in a nice color too. Keigo had left a messy, scrawled “Sorry!” in one corner, before signing by his girlfriends name.

“Um, thank you Keigo, you didn’t have to apologize.” You murmured, rubbing one of the flower petals between your fingers. You were so glad your quirk extended solely to humans - if you were shown glimpses of the future of everything you touched, you would most likely go mad.

“Nah, I wanted to. Also wanted to swing by, check how you’re doing. You been taking care of yourself?” He relaxed on the couch, legs spread, arms resting behind his head. This wasn’t his home, yet you totally could believe that it was by the ease with which he owned the space with his presence.

“Oh, well… I’m still here, so…” You shrugged.

Keigo frowned. “That’s not a fun answer. How much sleep you been gettin’ each night? Eight hours?”

You shook your head, huffing out a breath in place of a laugh.

Keigo clicked his tongue. “No sleep? That’s bad for you y’know. Have you at least been drinking water? Eatin’?”

You nodded quickly, looking up to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m not a kid. I appreciate your concern, but it’s not necessary.”

At this point, you think the best thing for your health would be for the man to leave.

The blonde man stared at you for a moment, before sighing. “Alright, I get it. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve passed out or something, got it? Your friend would kill me.”

He rose to his feet, and so did you, walking him to the door. “Thanks Keigo, and thank you again for the flowers. That was very sweet of you both.”

Keigo beamed, giving a two fingered salute. “You deserve it birdie. Well, have a good rest of your day, yeah? Eat something.”

You smiled, at Keigo as he turned away, beginning to whistle as he strolled down the hall.

Once the door was shut, you found a vase for the flowers, filling it with water and setting it on the table. Your roommates would think it was pretty, and it was, a nice little centerpiece.

That really was nice of your friend and Keigo to offer you flowers.

——

“Welcome to Gold Nile Jewelers, how can I-“ You blinked at the man entering the shop. “-Keigo.”

“Birdie? You work here?” He looked just as confused as you felt, cocking his head to the side as he approached the counter.

You looked around the small display room, nodding your head. “Yep… You looking for anything specific today?”

“Ah, right!” He clasped his hands together, bending over to lean on the display counter as he looked up at you. “So professional (Y/N), it’s just me.” The man chuckled.

“Actually, I thought I’d get my girl a cute little bracelet or something like that, you think she’d like that?”

Knowing your friend, she’d be ecstactic. “Oh, absolutely. Any particular occasion, or just an “I love you gift”?” You asked, already running through the list of bracelets in stock.

“It’s our two month anniversary in another week, thought I’d get her a little sumn’ sumn’, y’know?”

Gold Nile Jewelers was an expensive store. You patted yourself on the back for not dropping your jaw when he said “two month anniversary”. People came here for wedding rings and special occasion jewelry, not monthly anniversaries like some high schoolers.

Well, unless they were rich.

You showed Keigo the selection of bracelets currently available, the man listening quietly to your product descriptions and recommendations, asking questions about the fit and feel, and if you think your friend would like a particular one.

“Honestly Keigo, I could choose one I think she’d like, but it’d be more special if you chose for her.” You finally told him. He wasn’t annoying you, but you felt frustrated with his apparent lack of knowledge about his girlfriend. How did he not know what her favorite color was? “I’d suggest coming back in a few days. Go home, see what kind of jewelry she wears, pay attention to the colors she gravitates towards, if she’s allergic to any metals.”

Keigo tapped his chin. “Hmm, you have a good point. I guess I should pay more attention to those kinds of things.”

You nodded as you began to pack the expensive bracelets back into their display cases. “Gifts for a significant other can be hard. Honestly, it means a lot if they pick it out themselves and surprise you with it. Makes it special.”

“Oh, you have a partner?” Keigo asked, bright eyes watching your hands work.

A frown almost crossed your features, but you stopped it before it could show. “Ah, sorry, that’s not really a work-appropriate question.”

“Awh, c’mon! It’s just me, we’re friends, can’t you tell me?” Keigo pouted, batting his eyelashes at you in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion. The display made you laugh, so you indulged him. After all, he was a friend. No harm in telling him something he was bond to know sooner or later.

“I’m actually single right now. But as a jeweler sale associate, I know how much it means to a person when their partner picks out a gift for them, especially if it’s a surprise.”

Keigo nodded his head solemnly. “That makes sense. I better follow your advice then eh? Find out what she likes-“ he mused “-I can do that.”

“Good luck Keigo!” You called after him as he strolled through the door, waving when he smiled at you, giving that same, goofy two fingered salute that he always did when saying goodbye.

The man unnerved you, the visions you had experienced concerning him making you worry. But as long as he was dating your friend, you felt that you’d be fine.

-----

Keigo showed up again two days later.

“Back so soon?”

“You know me-“ He shook out his umbrella, placing it in the drip-bin by the door, wiping his shoes on the mat. “I always try to be speedy with my work.”

It was grey outside, drizzling slightly. You loved these kinds of days, where you could sit near a window and watch it rain while sipping tea. It was so peaceful and calm, and always soothed your stress.

“Find out anything useful?” Whatever he could tell you would make it easier to refine the jewelry selection for his particular needs.

“So, she doesn’t have any bracelets, and I asked her about why and she said they annoy her. She likes necklaces.” He clarified,. You could tell by the way he puffed up that he felt proud of his detective skills. “I even made a note of the lengths - she likes ones that dip low, which-“ He wolf whistled, and your stomach turned. But it was fine, just awkward.

“Alright, I think we have quite a few like that. Let me collect them for you and lay them out.”

Keigo strolled around the display room while you bustled about, looking in each case at the shiny metals and stones

You laid out the necklaces, calling Keigo over. The man smiled brightly at you as you showed him the selection, noticing he was gravitating towards the more simply, elegant choices.

“I’m sure she would be thrilled with any of these.” You offered, Keigo silent as he tried to decide between two necklaces.

Still, the man shook his head, quirking his lips. “I just…. I need to see them on, y’know?” Then he brightened, as if he had just thought of something. “Hey, can you try them on? Model one for me? Just to see what it’d look like.”

You laughed nervously. “Sorry Keigo, but I’m not allowed to do that, it’s against company policy. Only customers get to try on the jewelry, and that’s if they’re supervised.”

“Awh, c’mon! No one else is here, and I won’t tell.” The man leaned forward, shooting you a quick wink before he snatched up one of the necklaces, holding it out towards you. “Please? I just need to see it. I promise I’ll buy it.”

He was so insistent, and no matter how loud the alarm bells were wringing in your head, you felt cowed by his confidence.

“Um, still… I don’t think it’s allowed-“

“Fuck what’s allowed-“ He cut you off, snorting. “-I want to see what it looks like. It’s just me (Y/N), I’m not gonna snitch.”

A heavy sigh, and you finally agreed, taking the necklace from his nimble fingers. You slung it around your neck, not fastening the back as you held it in place. Hopefully that would be enough to sate Keigo’s curiosity.

His eyes immediately followed the curve of the necklace, how it dipped low towards your cleavage (curse you for wearing a lower-cut shirt today). You tried to ignore the leering.

“Here, let me help you fasten it, doesn’t look right otherwise.”

Before you could protest, he was sliding behind you, deft hands reaching for the necklace your had in your grasp.

“Keigo no-!”

But it was too late.

You were pressed up against a wall, face-first, your hands gathered into the small of your back and held there with a vice-like grip. There was pressure between your legs, something hammering into you, in and out, in and out, in and out.

Keigo was talking to you, you could tell it was the man by his voice. What was he saying? You were too overwhelmed with the sensation between your legs to focus on the words falling from his lips.

Sweat dripped from your temples, Keigo’s chest pressed up against your back was slick with perspiration, his nipples hard and pressing into your skin. It was an uncomfortable situation-

And then it changed.

You were tied up now, tight enough that you couldn’t move no matter how you thrashed. Knees bound in such a way so your ass was up in the air, arms stretched out in front of you, anchored to the headboard of the bed.

Keigo was behind you again - nothing to indicate that the tongue running through your core was his, but somehow, you knew.

You were begging and pleading, withing in your restraints against his tongue, but he wouldn’t let up, he wouldn’t let you crest the mountain that had built up inside. He kept chuckling, the vibrations running through you and making you buck your hips. You felt disgusting.

Then the bed was gone, and Keigo was in front of you. He was sitting in an office chair, your legs straddling his lap. Hands on your hips were dragging you back and forth, grinding you on the hard member protruding from Keigo’s lap. He was flushed, letting out little moans as he kept eye contact with you, smiling and praising you.

Then you were back.

Gasping, you shot away from Keigo, the expensive necklace clattering to the ground as it fell from your hands.

The man froze, confusion etched across his features as he watched you bend over, trying to catch your breath, to calm down, to ignore the lingering sensations from the futuristic visions.

“(Y/N)…”

“I think-I think you should leave.” You heaved, tears building. That had been awful, everything had felt good but you hadn’t. You felt uncomfortable and disrespected and stupid. That couldn’t be your future with Keigo, you wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was your friend’s boyfriend, for goodness sake!

Keigo opened his mouth to say something, but you snapped at him “Leave.”, making the man click his jaw shut.

He walked out the door, shooting you concerned glances the entire way.

You felt better as soon as he was gone, the door clicking shut after him. Thankfully, you were the only employee out front at the moment, and no other customers were present, so no one but you and Keigo had experienced your outburst.

Bending down to pick up the necklace, you inspected it carefully, horrified that you had dropped such an expensive item. It was alright though, so you brought it back to the others, shakily beginning to gather them up to put away.

You didn’t want to see Keigo again.

——-

“I just don’t understand!”

Your friend sobbed, surrounded by tissues on your bed, eyes red and blotchy. You wished you could rub her back, our give her a hug, but you knew what would happen. So you stayed on the floor, passing up tissues and offering wordless sympathy.

“Why would he break up with me? Why?”

You shrugged, looking for words. “I don’t know… I’m sorry that this happened, but if he can’t see how awesome you are, then he’s an idiot.”

She sniffed, blowing her nose. You could tell she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t say anything further, instead choosing to wipe her eyes.

She had called an hour or so ago, tearful, asking if she could come over. Refused to tell you what was wrong, but the second you let her in, she had burst into tears, explaining everything.

Keigo had broken up with her via text, that asshole.

“I just…. I thought we were good. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I. You said he just texted you out of the blue?”

She nodded her head, going to blow her nose again. “We were supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow, it’s our two month anniversary.”

You cringed. Did your encounter with Keigo in the jewelry store have something to do with this? Had you driven your friend’s boyfriend away? Had you weirded him out? Oh god, what if this was all your fault?

Your friend broke down into a sob again, slumping onto your bed. You passed her another tissue. “It’ll be okay. I think he’s a stupid fucker that just wanted to play with your heart. He isn’t worth shit. You deserve so much better than him.”

She nodded, blotchy eyes seeking out your own. In the back of your mind, you cringed, seeing the exact same scene from your vision. Well, at least the two of you hadn’t gotten in a fight.

——-

A few weeks later, Keigo was at your door.

“You need to leave. Now.”

“Aw, c’mon (Y/N), at least hear me out?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. Maybe he had a dumb explanation for why he had dumped your friend. You were wary of him accidentally touching you again though. “Fine, but make it quick.”

“No promises.” He grinned, breezing past you and into your apartment. He beelined for the chair you had sat in last time he was here, leaving you to take a seat on the couch.

“Alright-“ He settled in, fixing you with a gleeful eye. “How do you feel about your quirk?”

Caught off guard, you blinked. Wasn’t he going to explain why he had broken your friend’s heart? “Um, what?”

“Your quirk, y’know, the one that makes you see the future?” He leaned forward, rubbing his hands together with a smile. He seemed far too pleased, and it made you nervous.

“I hate it. If I could get rid of it, I would.” You stated, ready to move onto a different topic. But just as you were about to ask him about your friend, he rose to his feet, fishing in his pockets.

He drew out a bracelet, black and red, thin. “Well then, lookie what I have.” The man walked over, sitting down quickly on the couch next to you, causing you to immediately scoot to the end. You didn’t want him touching you.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologized upon noticing your unease. Instead of scooting closer, he simply tossed the bracelet onto your lap, leaning back as he watched you look at it curiously. “Put it on, see how it fits.”

“I don’t need jewelry Keigo, and I think we should be spending our time discussing why you bro-“

“Just put it on (Y/N), please? I promise you won’t regret it.”

Huffing, you did as he asked, clasping the bracelet around your wrist. It fit snug, almost too tight, but it hugged your wrist comfortingly. It was pretty, but you didn’t see what this had to do with your quirk, or with your friend, or anything that held any relevancy.

Bracelet now on, you fixed Keigo with a blank stare. “Happy?”

“I don’t know.” Keigo grinned. “Are you?” And then he was hugging you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, face buried in your neck.

You shrieked, already panicking as you tried to ready yourself for the onslaught of visions that accompanied physical touch.

They never came.

Choking back a surprised gasp, you drew back from his hug to find Keigo’s eyes, the man smiling down at you as he watched your reaction.

“Kei-Keigo…” You stuttered, shocked, surprised, euphoric, confused - so many emotions, all at once. You couldn’t even think to brush off the hands still around your shoulders, thumbs brushing at the tops of your exposed collarbones by the neck of your shirt.

You weren’t able to think rationally, couldn’t focus on anything but the awe you felt at being touched without being slammed with visions of the future.

You forgot about the terrifying visions you had gotten when Keigo touched you.

You forgot about how he had hurt your friend, broke her heart with no explanation.

You forgot about his hands refusing to leave your body.

“Keigo, this is…. Amazing” You breathed, wide eyes snapping up, catching his smiling face, eyes crinkly and twinkly.

“I had my team modify some quirk-cancelling cuffs! You seemed so upset whenever someone touched you, I couldn’t leave you with such a burden.”

Nodding, you returned your gaze to the bracelet, turning your wrist this way and that to look at the bracelet from different angles.

“I mean, I know how much I like being touched, and touching. I think I’d totally die if I couldn’t.” Keigo chuckled, but you weren’t listening.

The rest of his time sitting next to you on the couch was spent explaining the colors he had spent so long picking (“They’re my personal favorite, aren’t they nice?”) and why he had decided on a bracelet (“It could’ve been a necklace, but I think it looks better in it’s original cuff design, looks cooler that way.”).

By the time he had to leave, you were completely sidetracked, so distracted with your shiny new jewelry that you didn’t even remember to ask what his deal was with being a jerk to your friend, his now ex-girlfriend.

-----

“-and then he gave me the bracelet. I wasn’t thinking much after that, I just… I can hug you, isn’t that incredible?”

You gave your friend another squeeze, feeling a smile dance across your face. But then you sobered, pulling back from her with your hands on her shoulders, quickly becoming serious.

“But he’s really starting to kind of weird me out. Why won’t he explain why he broke up with you? He’s being a little bitch. I tried asking him a couple times, but he kept cutting me off, and I feel like the bracelet was a distraction to stop me from busting his chops about his behavior towards you.”

Your friend looked sad for a second, before shrugging. “I dunno, he just said things weren’t working out, and that while he liked me, he’s not ready for a relationship right now ‘cause of where he’s at in his life.”

“Psh-“ You scoffed, going in for another comforting squeeze for your friend. “-that’s code for “I’m a fuckboy and want to sleep around”.”

“I know….. But it still hurts.” You friend sighed, wrapping her arms around your neck. “But at least he gave you that quirk thing. I’ve never seen you so happy.”

“I just wish he was a mildly decent person.” You grumbled, detaching from the hug to sit back, glaring at the ceiling. “He gives me the fucking creeps.”

“How so?” You friend locked her head to the side, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. You had called her over the second Keigo had left, finally gathering your wits about you.

“I dunno…” You shrugged, not quite ready to tell her about the disturbing visions containing him. Did that have something to do with their breakup? Was it your fault? What was going to happen with Keigo? It honestly scared you, the residual feelings and sensations you could remember from the visions.

Your friend nodded understandingly. “Some people just give off those vibes. Well, at least we don’t ever have to see him again. Good riddance I say.”

You agreed.

——-

Knocking on the door, you shuffled your feet as you took in the house.

It was one of those rich places - nice neighborhood, fancy street filled with lavish houses, expensive cars. You felt slightly out of place, shifting from foot to foot in your clearance-rack clothes.

The door swung open, revealing a sleepy Keigo, shirtless, clad in nothing but sweatpants.

“Oh, um-“ You quickly turned, averting your eyes, trying to give the man privacy in case he hadn’t realized he was shirtless. It looked like he had just woken up from a nap, eyes blinking owlishly, hair mussed.

“Hey (Y/N), come on in.”

Still keeping your eyes turned away, you stepped inside the opulent house, trying not to gape too much at the decor inside. You didn’t want to look like a complete peasant in front of Keigo, but he’d already been to your house, so you could imagine that he knew of your poor-ness.

“Something wrong? You can look at me y’know, I’m not gonna turn you to stone or something.” Keigo joked, voice entirely too close for comfort.

Head whipping around, you found that he was too close, practically almost touching you as he stood beside you, head cocked as he watched you.

“No… nothings wrong, you’re just…” You gestured to his torso, and Keigo looked down in confusion, before looking back at you, a grin on his face.

“Ah, just woke up.” He shrugged, before reaching out to touch your arm. “Bracelet still keeping that quirk at bay?”

You nodding, following the blonde as he turned and walked further into his house, towards the kitchen.

“Glad to hear! I just wanted to look at it a bit, make sure nothing’s worn or torn, y’know? Hate for you to have to deal with the no-touching thing again.” He said over his shoulder, gesturing for you to sit down at the island, on one of the barstools.

You did so, watching the man open his fridge, take out a carton of milk, uncap it. “Is it too tight?”

“Nope.”

He drank right out of the bottle, and you watched some dribble out of the corner of his mouth, down his chin. The man finished gulping down the milk, taking the bottle away from his lips to swipe at the white trail of liquid rolling down his chin.

Eyes dark, he made contact with your own eyes as he cleaned his chin with a finger, stuffing it in his mouth to suck it clean.

That was gross.

The next second, he was back to normal, cheerfully putting the milk back into the fridge. “Good, good. Now, mind if I take a look at it? You should keep it on though.”

You nodded, and Keigo straightened, walking around the island to sit next to you, shuffling his stool closer.

He grabbed your wrist, laying it out on the island, before beginning to poke at the bracelet, running his fingers over it, fiddling with it, squeezing the tendons in your hand, smoothing his hand up your arm.

It felt a bit intrusive.

“So the visions are all blocked?”

“Yep.”

“And you can touch and be touched?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s your appetite? Sometimes complete quirk suppression can make you lose your appetite.”

“It’s been normal, I guess I’m a little hungrier than normal, but I’ve been getting out more too, not as afraid of crowds.”

“Nice! And how about your libido?”

You spluttered, choking on your own spit, snatching your hand away from Keigo’s wandering touches.

“Excuse me? That’s a bit personal, thanks.”

Keigo shrugged, bright eyes hooded and lazy. “It’s just a question.”

“Are you done making sure it’s all good? No broken parts?” You changed the subject, narrowing your eyes. You can’t believe your friend had ever dated him, that you had ever thought he was anything but a playboy.

You wouldn’t even be here, in his house, but he had come into the jewelers a while back (both you and your friend had blocked his number), spouting something about your bracelet needing constant checks and maintenance in order to keep suppressing your quirk. (“Wouldn’t want it to stop working, right? Just stop by sometimes, here’s my address.”).

So here you were.

Keigo leaned back a little, raising an eyebrow at your irritated tone of voice. “Woah there, don’t get snippy. I’m doing you a favor, right? I’m not trying to hurt you or something.”

Technically, you guess he was right. But he had played your friend, had fucked with her feelings. He was a fuckboy, liked messing with each and every girl he could find, and you didn’t care to be one of them.

“And I appreciate that Keigo. But I like to keep my private life private.”

Keigo was silent, simply holding out a hand for you to place your arm in, so he could fiddle more with the bracelet.

Several moments of awkward silence passed before he spoke again. “You’re being awfully ungrateful. It makes me think you don’t even want this little gift. If I were you, I’d be doing everything I could to show the person kind enough to do such a thing for me how thankful I was.”

Lost for words, you stared at the man. Was he expecting some sort of award? Some sort of prize? It’s not like you had anything to give him.

“I don’t have anything to give you in thanks. Just my words, which I’ve said plenty of. I didn’t ask you to make this for me.” You pointed out.

“Sure, but you use it, don’t you? You wouldn’t like it if I took it away, right? Think about how miserable your life was before I gave you this.”

Your life had been miserable. Afraid to go out in crowds, afraid to leave the house, Nervous about grocery shopping, about paying and having the cashier touch your hand as they handed over the change.

Scared of public transportation, of coffeeshops and bookstores, of public parks, even your own home. What if one of your roommates forgot and touched you? Or accidentally bumped into you?

Plus, you could hug now, and shake hands, and slap your friends back when she told a horrible joke, or tap her when you wanted her attention.

You didn’t want to go back to before. “I’m sorry Keigo… I really do think it’s lovely, and I can never thank you enough for doing this for me.”

Keigo let go of your arm, and it swung back to your side. You could feel the man looking at you.

“You know what would let me know that you mean it?”

God, it better not be something sexual.

“You could buy me coffee. Or maybe a cookie from that bakery on 1st Avenue, you know the one? With the little bunny pastries?”

That surprised you.

“You go there? That’s my favorite place.” You mused, looking at Keigo in surprise. He didn’t seem the kind of guy who’d like a place like that. But appearances could be deceiving.

“Of course! I really like their stuff.”

“Alright,” You conceded, rising to your feet. “I’ll get you some stuff from there. Want it today?”

Keigo rose to his feet as well, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah! Let me get dressed real quick, and then I’ll go with you. Don’t go anywhere birdie.” He shot you a wink, before sauntering past you, out of the kitchen. You raised a brow, surprised. He meant to go with you?

“Make yourself at home while you wait, don’t be afraid to kick up your feet!”

——-

The bakery smelled as lovely as usual.

A warm atmosphere, good food, friendly employees. It was your favorite place for a reason.

“Alright, what do you want?” You asked Keigo, the two of you staring up at the menu.

“Hmm, I don’t know. What are you going to get?”

“Probably a muffin, those are my favorite.”

“What!?! That’s my favorite too! How crazy.” Keigo smiled at you, dimples showing. You got the feeling that he was brown-nosing you, but you kept the thought to yourself, striding up to the counter to order.

Muffins purchased, you approached Keigo, who was lounging by one of the display cases, admiring the delicate, mouthwatering masterpieces held within.

“All good to go?” His smile was so charming, so friendly, you almost caught yourself wanting to see it more. Huffing in irritation at yourself, you pushed past him, shoving the bag with his muffin into his chest.

“Here’s your stuff. I’m going home now, see you around.”

“Wait!” Keigo turned, jogging a little to catch up as you exited the bakery. “We gotta eat these before they get cold - hey, birdie, are you listening to me?“

You weren’t, stoically keeping your head turned forward, walking with determination. There was only so much of Keigo that you could tolerate, and you had reached your limit. He was starting to really annoy you, didn’t he get that you wanted to go home? You’ll just eat your muffin on the subway, it’s not that hard.

“(Y/N)-“ His sudden growl was punctuated by an arm on your shoulder, spinning you around and pulling you towards the man.

“Hey-!” The sudden collision of your face with his chest knocked your breath away, almost causing you to drop your own muffin in the process.

When you managed to gather yourself, you shot a glare up at Keigo’s face, only to find the blonde smirking down at you, a fierce glint in his eyes.

“I expect you to listen when I’m talking, got it? I don’t like being ignored.”

That’s evident.

You tried to back away, but he still had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing you tight to him. “Keigo! Let me go, you stupid idiot-“

“Stop it, I’m not doing anything to you, ya big baby.” He cooed down at you, before taking his hand away, letting you stumble backwards.

He was just messing with you, teasing you. It was obvious, yet still you allowed him to be around you.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I know all the touching’s gotta be new still. Wanna go eat these in the park? I’ll buy you some ice cream if you want.”

“I don’t want ice cream, I want to go home.”

Keigo frowned, walking after you when you turned on your heel, heading for the subway. “Why do you dislike me so much? I’ve done so much to help you, and yet you spit in my face. Your parents ever teach you how to be grateful? Or even respectful?”

You gasped at his accusation, stopping in your tracks to whirl around, only to find the man far closer than what you had expected. Still, you tried to hide your surprise at his proximity, jabbing a finger in his direction.

“You are a playboy, you broke my friend’s heart, and you want to sleep with every single person you come across just to mess with their feelings. I don’t want to be around you. I won’t get dragged into that.”

The man watched you, face solemn and contemplative. “Is that really how you see me?”

“Why would I say any of that unless it was true?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around, as if gathering his bearings, before back down at you.

“Have you ever considered that I’m the one getting my heart broken?”

“Yeah right-“ You scoffed, only for Keigo to cut you off.

“People want to sleep with me because they think it’ll get them something that they want. Fifteen second fame, a piece in a tabloid about my “new lover”…. Think it’ll help them further their career, or that I’ll give them money. I can’t find anyone real.

“And my friend wasn’t real enough for you?” You spat, not believing him for a second.

“Nope. You think she liked me for who I am?”

“Uh, yeah? She gushed to me all the damn time about how good you were, how she felt about you. That girl held nothing but love and affection for you.”

The man snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, love for my wallet.”

“She’s not like that.” You argued, brows furrowing.

“Really? Cause she was sucking me dry, and not even in a sexy way.”

You crinkled your nose at what he was implying. Your friend wasn’t like that, she truly had felt for Keigo, had liked him as her boyfriend. She wasn’t just a leech.

“I’m done talking about my failed love life.” Keigo said lowly, nudging your shoulder. “I just thought two friends could hangout, but it seems like you think all I do is try and fuck people.”

“No, Kiego…. That’s not what I meant.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but right now…. You almost felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

Some of what he was saying made sense, how people would try and use him for various reasons. But that still didn’t explain his sudden and harsh breakup with your friend. And over text no less, a complete douche move!

But you felt bad about his words, about how he seemed to actually want to hangout, and yet you were accusing him of trying to sleep with you. But what about those visions you had had? Was that even how they went? Or were you remembering falsely based on your bias towards the man?

And what about his suggestive touches, his leering gaze? Was that maybe just how he always was, and it wasn’t exclusive to you? Were you inflating your place in his life, thinking that he wanted you?

It was confusing, and you didn’t want to think about it, try and untangle the lies from the truth. Right now, you just wanted to eat your muffin.

“If you really didn’t mean it, then can we go eat these in the park? I just want to chill with someone that isn’t trying to gain something from me. I want to spend time with someone that’s real.”

With a half-irritated sigh, you nodded, hoping you wouldn’t regret hanging out with the obnoxious man.

-----

He kept calling you, texting you. You’d had to unblock his number at some point, in order for him to text you about the bracelet and when he needed to look at it.

“Come overrrrr, I’m bored!”

“Birdie, are you hungry? The delivery place gave me extra Torikatsu and I don’t want it to go bad. Can I come drop it off?”

He’d swing by the jewelers, leaning over the counter to talk to you about a recent shoot he’d booked, or something he saw recently.

Keigo seemed to slowly insert himself into every facet of your live, against your will, ignoring every subtle, irritated attempt of yours to turn him away. Every single time you saw him, your mind would inevitably think of the visions, but you felt like you couldn’t trust yourself with those anymore.

The man assured you at every step, he had no romantic feelings for you, he just wanted a friend, someone to put him in his place, be honest with him.

You definitely were honest.

Snapping at him when he showed up at your apartment uninvited, coming up behind you on the street and grabbing your sides, laughing when you shrieked and tried to hit your attacker, only to realize it was Keigo.

Tearing into him when he tried to talk badly about your friend - she had been having less and less contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why. Now your relationship with her was reduced to curt text messages. Maybe she was just going through a hard time, and wanted alone time? Still, you let her know you were there for her, whenever she needed.

You were honest when Keigo asked your opinion on food, TV shows, clothes, movies. It was almost satisfying saying something sucked, just to see Keigo’s face fall slightly, before he shook his head, whining.

“Then help me pick something out! I can’t do it without you-“

He totally could, he was just being a baby.

The more he inserted himself into your life, the more you realized that he was akin to a petulant child, just with muscles and a penchant for inappropriate touching.

Whenever he saw you, he’d try to draw you into a hug, letting his hands drop far down your back, way too low for you to feel comfortable. You’d slap them away, and Keigo would laugh, before ruffling your hair.

He’d have you come over so he could check your quirk suppressor, except he was in the middle of a show, and it was getting to the best part. (“Sit down, shhh, it’s just getting good!”) You’d have to sit through the entire thing, enduring Kiego’s hand lazily drawing shapes over your pants on your thigh, simply putting it back whenever you shoved it off.

He was insufferable, irritating to no end, but you could tell he was a lonely man, bitter about his love life and with his friendships.

So you tolerated his presence.

After all, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s something he reiterated every single time you shied away from his touch. He made you feel like a fool for thinking the man was hitting on you, when he made it so clear that he wasn’t, only interested in friendship.

Until you fell asleep at his house.

Another one of those days were he needed to look at your quirk suppressor (which you were 99% sure was fine, it seemed like he just enjoyed seeing it on your wrist). He had been rummaging around in his room before he had to run and open the front door for you, talking as he walked back to return to his previous task.

Apparently he was trying to find a good shirt, seeing as how he had pants on, but his chest was bare. Keigo instructed you to sit on the bed for a second while he retreated into his massive closet, trying to find a good shirt to go with the rest of his outfit.

His bedroom was pretty large, a full California King taking up the majority of the space, neatly made. The sheets and blankets felt soft beneath your fingers as you sat on it’s edge, prepared to wait for Keigo for a bit.

The man always took his fashion very seriously - one time he’d even spent two hours trying on clothes until he’d decided on an appropriate outfit to go to the park.

So you followed your tired eyes, exhausted from work and dealing with Keigo, worrying about your friend, daily life stressors and the like. Keigo wouldn’t mind if you laid back, right? Your feet wouldn’t be on the bed, so it’d be fine.

And it was fine, pleasant, the room the perfect temperature.

You were roughly jerked out of sleep by pressure. Pressure on your hips, pressure on your lips.

Eyes jolting open, you tried to inhale, only to find yourself unsuccessful.

Keigo was on top of you.

Panicking, your hands came to push at him, a muffled sound of protest being squeaked out from where his lips pressed against yours.

Noticing you were awake, Keigo pulled back, smiling the whole while.

“I’m not willing to wait anymore, I just gotta have you.”

His eyes were glinting, hair tousled, still shirtless. You felt goosebumps arise as you remembered the vision you had so long ago, of this exact moment.

“Wai-mmph!” His lips were on yours again, passionate and warm, moving eagerly. A wet tongue pressed at the seam of your mouth, surprising you and making you blanch, which allowed the man access.

Kiego’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth, playfully tapping your own wet muscle, encouraging you to lift it and wrestle with him.

This was too weird, this wasn’t happening, you couldn’t do this-

Biting down hard, you snapped your teeth shut on his tongue, and Keigo yelped, drawing back immediately.

“Ouch, what the fuck!?! Chill out (Y/N), geez.” His hand was dabbing at his mouth, wincing when it came in contact with his bleeding tongue. You had bitten him deep, but you weren’t focused on that right now.

“What are-what are you doing?” Your voice was breathless, disoriented. The room felt…. Dark, and suffocating, as if it was closing in on the two of you, trapping you.

Keigo looked down at you, and it was only then that you realized you had been moved to lie on the bed fully, shoes off, legs splayed. The man rested on his stomach between them, his weight pressed against your body, keeping you still.

“I told you, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been as nice as I can, but it’s time you started paying me back for everything I’ve done for you.”

What? Paying him back-was he talking about the quirk suppressor he had gifted you? Had he been lying about his true intentions this whole time?

“That’s not right, it was a gift, you-you don’t have to pay back a gift.” You spluttered, feeling as if your chest was collapsing.

Keigo shook his head, swooping down to leave a bloody kiss on your forehead, which you cringed at, before pulling back to speak.

“Nah, it wasn’t a gift. You know how expensive it was? You were always gonna have to compensate me. Now shush, I wanna feel you-“

One of his hands grabbed your jaw, keeping your face turned towards his, pressing down until tears formed in your eyes. His lips were bloody from the bite on his tongue, tasting unmistakably like iron.

You didn’t want this.

Trying to bite him again left you with a slap to your thigh, making you cry out. Keigo huffed out a laugh against your mouth.

He detached from your lips, just to start nibbling at your jawline, elating streaks of red where his lips touched.

“God, you are so sexy. I was trying to chill, but then I came out and you were sleepin’ all cute, and I couldn’t fucking stop myself from touching.”

“Stop doing this, I can pay you with something different. I don’t wanna do this Keigo.” You whispered, on the verge of crying.

“No, I get to decide what you’ll be doing for me, it’s my bracelet-“

“It’s not, you gave it to me, please stop-“

“Shut up.” He growled sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, nipping at the skin hard enough to have you screaming. “You’re so ungrateful, where’s my thanks? I’ve done so much for you.”

“Thank you, thank you Keigo, I appreciate it all-“ You hurried out, hoping it was what he wanted to hear “But I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I wanna go home.”

“There we go, I like the sound of you thanking me. You’re going to thank me for each and every time you cum tonight, got it?”

“No, no, we can’t do this, I can’t! Get off of me, please-“

“You’ll do it, or else I’ll whip you until your flesh hangs off of you in strings.” He hissed, squeezing your jaw cruelly.

The tears in your eyes overflowed as you fell silent.

“Aw, birdie, don’t cry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I never have, right?” He waited for a second, watching your face before he pressed harder, eyes hardening “Right?“

You nodded jerkily, and Keigo came to kiss your tears away, savoring their salty taste as they rolled down your cheeks.

“Keigo, this isn’t right though, please get off me. I don’t want this-“

“You want me to take this away?” A hand caught your shaking wrist, the one that had the quirk suppressor fastened snugly around it, wrenching it up so both of you could see it. “Huh? Put you back where you were in your miserable little life? Running away from everyone, holing up in your apartment, not willing to touch or be touched…”

The very thought made your insides churn, and a fresh round of tears rolled down your face as you shook your head no, lips wobbling as you whined. You felt so pathetic, so small and dumb underneath Keigo.

“That’s what I thought. You’re going to relax now, right? No more begging unless it’s for more.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, beginning to shuffle around until he could slide his hands under your shirt, pressing against your tummy as you flinched away.

“Don’t worry birdie, you’re gonna like every single thing we’re gonna do. You’ve had sex now, yeah? Since I gave you the bracelet?”

You shook your head “no”, it’s not like you were eager for sex before you got it, and all the touching-without-terrifying-visions thing was still new to you, the dating world was being eased into. Somehow though, every single date seemed to be crashed by the man on top of you.

Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, licking his lips gleefully. “Okay, okay, I can-whew, that’s hot-I can be gentle.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, his hands skirting up your ribs, shucking up your shirt as the traveled higher and higher.

“Keigo please-“

“Don’t you dare say stop, I’m not gonna. You’re the first person that doesn’t want anything from me, you’re real, and I’m not stopping.”

His admission made you cringe, recoiling from his touch. He followed you, palms finally smoothing over your breasts, over your bra.

“You’re going to do what I say, or else this-“ Your wrist was wrenched into view, red-and-black bracelet glittering. “-gets removed. And I’ll still do whatever the fuck I want, but you’ll be off in your mind having visions of who-knows-what while I have my way. Got it?”

Your blood chilled, body suddenly feeling ice cold. His tone was dead serious, spitting out the words with a sense of finality.

“So, just lay there and take it birdie, I’ll be good to you.”

#yandere keigo takami #keigo x reader #Keigo Takami #yandere takami keigo #takami keigo #takami keigo x reader #Yandere bnha #yandere #tw.dubcon #tw.noncon #tw.somno #tw dubcon #creepy keigo

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drawlfoy · 4 years ago

Text

Wonders of Ohio P.10

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no way

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for a surprise when her british exchange student is a little...odd.

warnings (AYO please pay attention to these this time it’s not just swearing): swearing, underage drinking (no i do not condone this ig), beginning elements of smut but def not too explicit, i think you can consider it dubcon ?? if both people are drunk bc i don’t think you can actually consent if youre drunk (plz rest assured tho they are both 18 hehe)

a/n: “hey where did this come from” yeah so hey yall ive never written such an intense scene before but i’ve spent so much time w these characters that i decided i kind of had to. there’s no like...real sex in this and i don’t imagine that i’d describe it in this much detail if i ever decided to write it but um.. anyways. i hope y’all enjoy. thanks for suffering for this long ! i hope i’ve made it worth it

word count: 4k

music recs:

cloud 9 -- beach bunny

the adults are talking -- the strokes

anything from the strokes tbh

tags ! :) @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

“Thank fucking god for the generator,” said Y/N as she flew around the kitchen, banging pots and pans together in her quest to make New Year’s Eve breakfast. Draco was sitting, unamused and completely silent, at the table. They’d been snowed in for a few days now with her parents nowhere near able to make it to the suburbs. For some reason, the entire city of Cincinnati had decided that the day before Christmas was the best time to schedule maintenance on literally every single one of their plows. “Can you imagine living here without heat? Or power? I’d die.”

Draco hummed in response. A glance over confirmed that he was deep in thought, a scarlet colored letter clutched firmly in his hand (hello, Nathaniel Hawthorne). Jealousy curdled inside of her as her thoughts turned to a dark place--it was Pansy, that Pansy Parkinson.

Knowing her intuition, she was probably his grandmother or something. Why else would she have written so many letters?

After she finished plating all of the pancakes, she allowed herself to sneak a peek at the envelope.

Astoria Greengrass

She frowned. Astoria? She’d never seen that name before.

“What is this?” asked Draco as he picked up his fork to poke at the pancake on his plate.

Y/N’s jaw dropped. “Have you never had a pancake before?”

“A pancake?” He gave his plate a stern look. “It looks...like a soggy pastry.”

“Fuck you, I made that,” responded Y/N. “Try it with butter and maple syrup. And then tell me it’s a soggy pastry.”

She took out her fork and knife, demonstrating very clearly what she meant as she spread butter over the top of her pancake. She’d learned that Draco was too proud to ask what she meant when she introduced him to American/muggle foods--the last time he tried to deduce something himself, he ended up pouring ketchup over the top of his hamburger bun instead of actually putting it on the patty.

A sense of satisfaction flowed into her as she saw him follow suit, spreading the warmed butter and dipping a cut piece in syrup. He raised it to his lips, taking a delicate bite.

“Americans really have this for breakfast?”

“Yeah…is something wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” He grimaced. “This isn’t breakfast. This is dessert food.”

“God, your life must be so sad back home,” said Y/N. “What does your family make you eat--just straight unbuttered bread under the guise of it being a real breakfast food? Do they let you dip it in your unsweetened, weak tea if you’re good?”

He scoffed. “You have no idea how I live back at home.”

“And, judging from this conversation, I don’t have any desire to know any more.”

They ate in silence for the next few minutes. Y/N smiled when she saw Draco reach for a second pancake.

“Two desserts? Draco, I know it’s New Year’s, but don’t get too off the hinges,” she teased.

He rolled his eyes, but she could tell her was fighting back a smile. “Speaking of which, how do you celebrate New Year’s?”

Draco looked up and met her eyes. “Sorry?”

“How do you celebrate tonight? With your family or your friends, or your...whatever.” The cold reality of the fact that she did not really know if he was dating someone back home set in.

“Oh, I don’t usually. It’s not really a big thing in the magical community,” he mused, unaware of her sudden panic.

“Well,” she said. “I always celebrate New Year’s with my friends. I didn’t tell you this sooner because I didn’t think that you were going to be here, but I’m kind of hosting a party here tonight. With anyone who can walk here.”

“Oh.” He took a sip of his tea. “Will it be like the Halloween party at Sylvia’s?”

“What do you mean?” She smiled. “Do you mean, will there be drinking?”

He shrugged in response, avoiding eye contact.

“There definitely can be,” she continued, her smile widening. “Last year we played this dumb drinking game over this card game--if you lost, you took a shot. It was fun. We could do that again.”

She settled down to eat, digging into two of the pancakes. They were really good--she wasn’t Gordon Ramsay by any means, but she did breakfast food pretty well. But at the mention of her friends, a realization hit her. “Oh. Draco?”

He raised an eyebrow and met her eyes.

“Um, can I tell you something?”

He dipped his head in recognition while Y/N cleared her throat.

“So, um, I forgot about this,” she began, “but while you were gone, I kind of had to scramble to figure out what to tell everyone about why we were avoiding each other before you left. And why you left so suddenly and why I didn’t know.”

He was still watching her in curious silence.

“So, I really didn’t want to slip up or say anything about...you.” Y/N paused to take a sip of her tea, deciding to not try to look at Draco again. “So I decided to tell Sylvia and Lizzy that I told you my feelings for you and you didn’t return them.”

A clang startled her enough to look up. Draco was staring, completely frozen. His fork had fallen into the syrup on his plate, handle and all.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I mean, oh, fuck. Um.” She smiled at him, hoping it was going to distract from her audible stumble. “Obviously, I made it all up. I mean, both sides! But what’s important is that they bought it, and now they’re probably going to give you a little shit for not liking me ‘back’. So I’m sorry about that.”

“Made it all up, huh?” His voice had a surprisingly teasing lilt.

“Yes, that is in fact what I said,” she responded, hoping that her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt hot.

“Is it really now?”

“Draco!”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be back. I need a new fork.”

“Just wipe off the handle of the one you have now--Draco, why are you getting up? Stop!”

To her disappointment, none of her friends were able to show. Sylvia and Lizzy made a concerted effort to try and convince their family to let them brave the walk, but once another flurry started up outside, it was hopeless. Her face turned pink whenever she thought about the fact that she hadn’t even needed to tell Draco the thing that made her slip up in the first place.

Y/N, disappointed but not surprised, told Draco that she still wanted to celebrate, even if it was just with him. He’d snorted at this--asking her why she made it seem like such a burden--but once she produced a yellow glass bottle and a deck of cards and told him she bet that she was going to beat his sorry ass, he caved.

She started with a heavy lead, but once Draco learned the rules and strategies of the slightly convoluted Go Fish game, he proved to be a worthy match. They played until around 11:45 when the bottle was about 3/4 full and Y/N was feeling the pleasant warmth of being slightly intoxicated. Once she noticed the time, she threw her cards on the table.

“Let’s watch the ball drop,” Y/N said with no further explanation, even when Draco looked to her for one. She grabbed the bottle and his hand, pulling him up the stairs to her room. The remote control for her TV was a struggle to find--it was all the way tucked back in her nightstand drawer--but thankfully the channel was already set.

“You forgot the cups,” Draco said, staring down at the opened bottle held in his hand.

“You can get them if you want,” she managed.

“You should! You forgot them.”

“Too far,” she whined, flopping to lean back on her pillows while Draco followed suit. His hair smelled like peppermint. Without much more thought, she moved close enough that their shoulders were touching. He didn’t move away--instead, he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a drink directly.

“Your New Year’s traditions are weird as fuck,” he murmured as he watched Savannah Guthrie on the screen. He didn’t have to speak very loud for her to hear him, and it seemed like he knew this.

“Oh, you haven’t even heard it all yet,” said Y/N. “We’ve got a tradition to kiss someone going into the New Year. New Year’s kiss, I guess. I’m sure you can imagine the kind of drama that creates.”

“What d’you mean?”

“You don’t have to be dating to kiss someone, sometimes people just...do it. As friends.” Y/N reached over to the bottle and took a swig herself, feeling the warmth trickle down her throat.

“Take it easy,” he tutted, pulling the bottle away from her before taking another drink himself.

“Hey! Says you!”

“Because I can actually hold my liquor well,” he teased, giving her a shove.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“You just kept getting worse and worse at whatever that game was,” he told her matter-of-factly.

“Give it here,” she said, reaching across his chest to where he was holding the bottle, out and above his head. She hoped he couldn’t tell how much this side of him filled her with glee. “That’s not fair!”

“Not fair, huh?” He raised an eyebrow and met her eyes as he held it up even further into the air. His voice was startlingly low. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Before she could muster up a response, the TV began playing the audio for the New Year’s Countdown.

10!

Y/N wasn’t sure if she was supposed to answer--or if he was just...flirting?

He managed to set the bottle on her nightstand without taking his eyes off of her.

The hand she had used to reach across him with was now pressed into his side of the bed, supporting her as she hovered over him.

Without moving any part of her body, she dared to glance at his parted lips.

Maybe telling him about the kiss tradition was a stupid idea.

His hand, warm and soft, reached up to brush a piece of hair away from her cheekbone.

His fingers lingered on the outline of her jaw.

He was kissing her before the cheers from the TV even had the chance to bounce around the room, both hands cupping her face and pulling her in so desperately that it took her breath away.

Her hands found his shoulders, then the back of his neck, and then, eventually his hair. It was just as soft as she imagined it to be. They started out innocently enough--closed mouth kisses and only their hands touching each other above the shoulders--but once she tugged on his hair (mostly by accident) something...shifted.

Suddenly he was on top of her, and suddenly her leg was wrapped around him as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. It occurred to her that this was no longer just a New Year’s kiss. He tasted of lemon and sugar--and was notably better at what he was doing than any of the people she’d kissed before. Or maybe it was the alcohol clouding her judgement. Regardless, she liked whatever was going on. His hands had drifted from her face to her neck to her hair to her shoulder, gently tracing the outline of her bra strap. She brushed her hand down his chest, pulling gently at the collar on his shirt. Only when his leg pressed up into her and her breath hitched did she realize the weight of their situation.

The way he pulled away to hover over her signaled that he’d had the same revelation, his eyes wide as he stared down at her. “Um…”

“Yeah?” Dread crept into her despite the pleasant haze she was in.

He swallowed, hard. “I can’t believe I did that.”

Draco was on the other side of the bed in seconds, wringing his hands and keeping his eyes fixed on her floor. “Oh, my god, I can’t believe I did that. I’m sorry. I’m drunk and I’m not thinking straight. I’m so sorry.”

“Is something wrong?” She didn’t know if he wanted her to touch him, but she wanted so badly to place a steadying hand on his shoulder. “Did you not want...it?”

He scoffed and turned his gaze up to the ceiling. “I had too much to drink. I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Y/N felt the blood drain from her face as she fell back on the bed.

That’s all it was. A drunken mistake.

Tears pricked at her eyes as she surveyed her options. Despite the fact that she was drunk off her ass, she knew she couldn’t just tell him to leave without making her feelings clear. She never explicitly told him that she wanted him and it wasn’t like she moaned his name or anything--thank god--but what other option did she have? She didn’t want to cry in front of him, and if he stayed in her room any longer he would without a doubt witness her alcohol induced cry fest.

NBC finally switched to ads, and Y/N granted herself permission to mourn the fact that Flo from Progressive would forever be ruined for her.

It was dark enough for her to quickly reach up and wipe her eyes undetected, granting her enough confidence to sit up and look at him directly. “You don’t get to just...kiss me like that. I hope you know that.”

“I know,” he said. His hands were clasped tightly together and rested on his nose. “Fuck. Of course I know.”

“But you can tell me you meant it to be just as friends,” she told him, hoping he couldn’t see how hard she was fighting back a new wave of tears.

“As friends,” he repeated, his tone flat.

“As friends,” she said.

“I don’t think either of us are daft enough to believe that.”

Her stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe things are different in America, but I don’t see you doing that sort of thing with Lizzy.”

“We can forget about this. It’s fine. I know you regret it.”

He exhaled, his breath long and shaky. “I didn’t stop because I regretted it.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because…”

“Is it because I’m a muggle?” His silence was everything she needed for an answer. “Okay. I had a feeling.”

“Y/N, it’s not like...I don’t know how to explain it.” He still wouldn’t make eye contact with her. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“About what?”

“About this!” he said, dramatically gesturing to her. “About everything!”

“I don’t understand.” The tears began pricking in the corners of her eyes again despite her best efforts.

Draco finally looked at her. She was shocked by how genuinely distressed he looked--the last time he looked at her like this, she’d been laying on the ground outside of the antique sore. “I don’t expect you to.”

His tone was low, careful. He was holding back.

“Can you just tell me how you feel about me, then? Just so I know?”

“It’s not that--” He stopped himself, sucking in another breath before he continued. “I shouldn’t. It’s not right of me.” He groaned, flopping onto his back and covering his face. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Hey,” Y/N said, reaching out to awkwardly pat his shoulder. “I meant it when I said that we could just forget about it. We’re friends, Draco. Just friends. I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s just pretend this never happened, ok?”

He was quiet for a bit before responding. “Did you...want me to kiss you? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Uncomfortable?”

“As in, did you want me to stop?”

“Oh.” Y/N cracked her knuckles. “You didn’t violate me if you’re asking to gauge how guilty you should be.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but that’s not why I’m asking.”

“Okay,” she said simply. He was still laying in her bed, and she hated the fact that her bed was going to smell like him until she washed everything.

“So?” He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t answer.”

“We’re friends, Draco.” She sent him a weak smile as she repeated her previous sentiment. “I trust you, so you didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

She was aware of the fact that her sentence didn’t exactly track, but she wasn’t particularly concerned with the literary quality of her speech.

“That still doesn’t answer my other question.”

“I…” She felt her throat dry up. “I want--I wanted you to kiss me. I’ve wanted you to kiss me for a while now.”

At this, he finally sat up and looked her in the eyes. She thought she could see the briefest glint of relief pass over his face before he managed to rein it back to a neutral expression.

“Did you want to kiss me?”

“I was the one who kissed you, not the other way around, yeah?”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” she snipped, hoping he caught on to her mocking. She’d missed sparring with him.

“Yes, I kissed you because I wanted to, not for some weird ulterior motive,” he responded, rolling his eyes despite the fact that his cheeks were clearly very pink, even in her dimly lit room. “Though I agree it’s best if we just stayed friends.”

“Yeah.” She felt her face fall, but she managed to catch it before she looked too devastated. “It’s all water under the bridge. Now we know not to drink together again.”

“That too.” He shifted, clearing his throat before making eye contact with her again with an uncharacteristically soft expression. “But the damage is already done, I suppose?”

“I suppose,” she echoed. “You wanted to kiss me? Actually?”

“Should we really talk about this? After what we just said about staying friends?”

“We’re going to feel regret tomorrow morning no matter what we do now, “ said Y/N. “Might as well.”

He smiled one of his rare smiles--the ones where his eyes went all soft and he dipped his head to hide it. “Yes. I really do. Want to kiss you, that is.”

“I really want you to kiss me,” she blurted out before slapping her hand over her mouth in shock. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

His smile morphed into more of a smirk as he crept closer, his hand resting on top of her knee. “So can I do it again?”

“Draco…” She sighed.

“The damage is already done,” he repeated as he reached his hand up to brush a lock of her hair behind her ear, his fingers dragging down her neck. The smug look that formed on his face after she drew a quick breath in confirmed that he knew what he was doing, that fucker. “You said it yourself--we’re just friends.”

“I’m going to hate myself in the morning if I say yes.”

Draco’s hand drifted over her jaw, his thumb pausing to trace over her bottom lip. “You can hate me instead.”

This time, it didn’t surprise her so much when he leaned in. He was notably less desperate, taking time to draw breaths in between kisses and lacing his fingers through hers, squeezing. Once he seemed satisfied, he lifted her chin and brushed the hair away from her neck, kissing down from her jaw to her collarbone. She shivered, and he drew her closer by wrapping his arms around her until she was sitting on his lap.

“Wow, you’re such a good friend, Draco,” she managed to joke. She could feel the smirk that formed on his lips as it passed over her clavicle.

“Shut up.” His teeth grazed over her delicate skin before he sucked, eliciting a gasp from her. She could feel him smile again.

His hands teased the bottom hemline of her sweater, his fingers tangling in the fabric but not moving it. She sucked in a breath, feeling his hands ghost over her skin.

“Are you okay with…”

“Yes!” The answer came out much quicker than she would’ve liked, but the grin on Draco’s face made it completely worth the momentary embarrassment as he helped her out of the thick cable-knit sweater. “Now is your chance to dote on me and tell me how beautiful I am. As a friend, of course.”

“You stole the words right out of my mouth,” he said. He looked like he was positively glowing as she smiled and leaned in to kiss him, slow and deep. His hands found her back and hesitated over her bra clasp.

Before he had a chance to do anything, Y/N started fiddling with the buttons on his white shirt, successfully undoing the first two before she noticed that Draco had frozen completely.

“Is something wrong?”

“Kind of,” he said. “Maybe...not now, okay?”

“I had a feeling that was too much,” she admitted, reaching for her top before realizing he’d tossed it across her bedroom floor and suddenly feeling very exposed.

“It’s not that…” he said, trailing off. “I just...should probably tell you some things before my shirt comes off. And I don’t think tonight is the best time for that.”

“Oh.” Y/N tried to make herself look like she understood whatever he was on about. “Yeah, of course. Oh! Is it about that tattoo you tried to gaslight me into believing didn’t exist?”

“Y/N!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t gaslight you!”

“Here you go again,” she huffed. “I rest my case.”

“And I am not getting into that now,” he said. “I didn’t want to talk about it for very good reason.”

She reached up to his shoulders, dragging her fingertips over his collarbones and watching as he gazed up at her. “That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

The corners of his lips turned up at this, and she took the opportunity to press a chaste kiss on the edge of his mouth. “I think we should go to sleep. We have enough material to regret for tomorrow at this point. Any more and I think we’ll be getting greedy, so--”

Draco cut her off with one last kiss, his fingers splayed out across her back, pulling her impossibly close before finally releasing her.

“Agreed.” He let out a sigh before sliding her off him and standing up to grab her runaway sweater. “Do you want to sleep in this? Or do you want me to get you something else from your dresser while I’m up?”

“Um…” She was frozen at the prospect of him watching her change clothes. “Probably something else. Top left drawer--just pick whatever.”

He sifted through her piles of random T-shirts before settling on one with the UChicago logo and tossing it to her.

Y/N pulled it over her head, grateful for the fact that he wasn’t staring at her with only a black lace bra that barely did its job.

“So, uh, I think I should probably go then,” he said.

She fought the urge to ask him to stay. “Yeah, that’d be best.”

His mouth opened like he was about to say something, but he closed it and frowned. “So I guess this is goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Draco,” she replied. “I’ll look forward to agonizing over this in the morning.”

Once the sounds of his footsteps heading down the hall faded, she finally allowed herself to flop back onto her now Draco-scented sheets.

What the fuck just happened.

final a/n: hellooooooo ! it finally happened! i hope this didn’t seem rushed or unnatural to you guys but like. it’s been over 30k words and i thought you guys deserved something. yes i am going to be leaning into the whole “we’re just friends” trope while definitely not being just friends. yes i am going to drag astoria into this i’m excited i hope yall enjoyed

#draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #draco x you #draco malfoy x you #draco #draco malfoy #draco fic #draco fanfiction #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x oc #draco malfoy x oc

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rebel-pogue · 4 years ago

Text

Stretch Marks

JJ Maybank X plussize!Reader

request: kinda...?

warnings: cussing, issues with body image, angst, fluff

summary: After a fight with your parents about your health, you plan to spend the rest of your day to yourself until a certain blue eyed blonde finds you on your deck.

a/n: from @maybanktho they made a wonderful list of imagine ideas and I had to jump onto this one... tho I do have a couple others from the list im working on as well! I hope you guys enjoy! This one was enjoyable bc it felt really personable but idk... let me know what you think and if you’d like any specific imagine!!

wc: 1.5k

There were plenty of things in the world that you never understood. One, why bras were so insanely expensive. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that they were conditioned into wearing one to be presentable to the public. They were uncomfortable, no matter how “high quality” they were, broke way too easily for anyone’s own well being, and even if you bought one to look cute for someone else, it’s not like it stayed on your body very long in those instances. Another thing you just didn’t get was why or how anybody could be interested in you or your body. Emphasis on the latter.

You’ve always been bigger than everyone else, in size and height. You never knew what it was like to be able to just pull something off the shelf at a store and it fit, nor to have something fit perfectly without it being too loose on your waist, or not fit over your hips and butt at all. Growing up you were constantly surrounded by smaller, prettier girls, magazines that glorified a specific body type, and TV shows and movies that were never inclusive to plus size women. Even if they had one character who was plus size, they were always the butt of the joke. You didn’t know what it was like to love the body you lived in growing up.

As you got older, it got easier. A lot of it was thanks to yourself just generally being tired of being told you didn’t fit “a look”, though more appearances of plus sized characters in TV shows, movies, and magazines helped as well. Instead of feeling that separation between the women who ran the world, you felt a connection finally. However, it didn’t take much for a single comment to plummet your confidence. Then you met the one boy you never realized you needed in your life, JJ Maybank.

“Hey gorgeous.” The smooth drawl gained all of your attention away from the music you were listening to as you relaxed on the deck from your house. Your eyes landed on the smooth-talking blonde who stood at the steps, leaning against one of the wooden posts that lined the short pier that you often escaped to when life was too much to handle.

You couldn’t help the natural smile that came to your lips as you lifted the sunglasses from your eyes to greet the insanely attractive male, “Well, hello to you too. I thought you had work today?” You questioned, watching his movements as he stepped closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

He rested into a seated position beside you, and his eyes travelled your body. You loved and hated when he did this. Your conflicted emotions could never fully convince you if he actually enjoyed what he saw or not, but today he couldn’t see much anyways, which you were thankful for.

“Got out early, Pogues were thinking about taking a ride out to swim...” he slowed his words his eyes finally matching back up with yours again, “Why are you wearing sweatpants? It’s hot as balls outside!”

Your hands instantly found their way to the hem of your shirt, toying with it nervously, “Haven’t had the best morning so far.” You commented casually, not wanting to continue much of the conversation. You hadn’t planned on doing anything with your day after the conversation you’d had with your shitty parents that morning.

JJ tilted his head slightly, reaching up and brushing some loose strands of hair that had whipped to the front of your face. You flinched slightly at his touch, not because you were scared of him but because the small gesture of affection was hard for you to accept sometimes. He frowned slightly, but didn’t bring attention to it.

“Was it your parents again?” He asked, averting his eyes from yours so he wasn’t putting too much pressure on you to answer. You could never fully explain how or why JJ always knew what to say or ask.

Sighing heavily, you pushed your body up, pulling your knees to your chest, instinctively covering your stomach with your arms, “They made their usual comments about how I needed to take better care of myself, how I shouldn’t be wearing such ‘revealing’ clothes, that I should use my money for gym memberships instead of, oh I don’t know, saving money for COLLEGE?!” Your voice grew in intensity and volume as the anger returned to your mind, tears stinging the edges of your eyes. “I mean, it’s like I can’t do anything in life if I look like this.” You gestured towards your body, regaining eye contact with JJ and regretted it immediately.

His bright cerulean eyes were too soft, too concerned, and too focused on everything you had just said. His normally striking and strong features relaxed into an empathic position causing you to involuntarily take a sharp inhale.

“Never-mind, JJ. Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem.” You said quickly, trying to deescalate the situation and make it seem less important. You stretched your legs out in front of you, the bright sun disappearing into the black sweatpants that hung on your legs. Your mind began to spiral as the memories from that morning circled back and how you had just complained to JJ about something he could never understand.

Pushing yourself off of the old wooden deck, you stood fast, keeping your eyes away from his. Today had started off horrible, and it seemed it was just going to continue in that fashion no matter what you did. You couldn’t fix your body, you couldn’t fix your parents, you couldn’t fix you. As you began to step over JJ, his hand reached out for you, clasping onto your wrist where your hand still clung tightly to the hem of your shirt.

“I don’t get it, like, I really don’t…” You were waiting for the usual ‘I understand how you’re feeling but it’s not that serious’ comment to spill from his lips. You kept your eyes on the ground, not wanting to watch him crush your mentality anymore than it already was.

“JJ I don’t need your sympathy-“ You began, a small tear rolling down your cheek.

JJ stood quickly, grabbing your shoulders to bring your attention back to him, “It’s not sympathy (y/n)! I don’t get how people can look at you and not be blown away! How they can’t just look at every inch of you and fall completely head over heels for you, how they couldn’t fall in love by just seeing how beautiful you are!!” He was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and honest.

Your breath hitched in your throat as more tears fell from your eyes, this gorgeous, beautiful, fit boy just confessed to you right? Is that what just happened?? You didn’t know what or how to process what was coming from his mouth, but he continued, “The first time I saw you, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Your smile was just… nothing like I had ever seen before. Hell yeah I noticed your body, I noticed your hips, your chest…your ass! It’s because I saw one glance and I knew I needed you in my life… and I couldn’t have been more right, for once in my life.”

His hand landed on your waist, resting easily and comfortable above your hip. Your shirt lifted slightly and you could feel the heat from his hand on your side. “…are you sure? Are you sure you want this?” You asked quietly, still not able to tear your eyes away from his beautiful blue ones.

He scoffed loudly, his eyebrows knitting together almost angrily at what you had said, “I don’t want anyone or anything else.” You stated matter of factly and slammed his lips into yours.

It was rough at first, but the passion overtook the both of you and you lost yourself in him. Your hands found their way to his blonde locks, his hands reaching behind you, grabbing onto you and holding you tight. Your lips moved together in motion, his tongue easily making its way through your lips and dancing with yours. You didn’t know how long the two of you stood there in each others embrace, but when you finally broke you both had to catch your breaths. Resting his forehead against yours, he pressed one more quick kiss to you.

“Do you really think my ass looks good?” You asked, looking up into his eyes curiously.

The grin that landed on his face made you swoon, “Oh baby, I would throw away everything if I could just hold onto your ass.” You both chuckled softly, falling comfortably into silence.

A small while later you found yourselves making the short walk towards your house, your hands grasped in his own large ones. “So, you said we’re going swimming right?” You asked, glancing sideways towards him.

“Maybe later, no offense but after talking about you I’m so fucking horny right now and you gotta take responsibility.” He pulled you after him, rushing into your house and towards your room.

#jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj imagine #jj x reader #obx imagine #outer banks imagine #outer banks #obx #jj #jj maybank #pogues #rebel-pogue #rebel-pogue imagines #plus size #plus size reader #plus size imagine #body issues #body positivity

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nininek12 · 4 years ago

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Exes and hoes (Yandere! Kook)

Disclaimer : this is a fic. Purely just me trying to procrastinate the rest of studying I have to do.

College students : philosophy major Y/N x info major Kook ft. economy major Joon

Basically, Joon and Y/N broke up but they’re still friends who have feelings for each other and Jungkook, their friend, can’t take it anymore.

What were you doing going around smiling like that ? Jungkook loved his hyung. They were the first one from the squad to meet. But right now as his blood was boiling he only saw red. You looked so comfortable on the clearly big enough sofa with his arm around your shoulder almost cuddling into his stupid 6′4 chest. “Hi noona” He said not even bothering to look at his friend. “Hi Kookie” you answered peeking your head from the couch with the same bunny smile you gave your ex just a moment ago. Knowing you, you would fall back asleep on his chest as soon as you dived back into it. That couldn’t happen. “How was your day, son ?” Joon said in an overly deep voice. He jokes a lot about how Jungkook might as well be your son since he’s always around you two. At first the younger boy didn’t like it one bit. How was he supposed to snatch you away if he were in the son zone ? He even confronted his friend about it saying it was plain weird. But after hearing your giggle and how you play along everytime, he figured he had to get on that. “Do you want to take a nap or should a make you a wittle snack ?”. I mean you would be a hot mom to be fair, he thought to himself. “A huggie !” Without missing a beat you get up from the couch and pull him into a hug. Bingo. You wore shorts and your own shirt for once. Somehow you loved that Namjoon was so tall and how you could wear his tops without bothering to put on bottoms. Or anything else. Not that he looked but he definitely looked through the teddy bear he gifted you on your birthday. All the squad teased him for it but you thought it was so cute you held the plushie to sleep that day. He’s moved evn thinking about it. He can feel all of you and when you pull back he pulls you in closer. You don’t question it because you love hugs. After some time you start to get worried and pat him “Hey you good ?”. That sounded horribly like bro talk but it’s all you knew. “Jungkook ?”. He hated it when you used his full name. Without looking at you he can guess your eyebrows are drawn together and your lower lip is slightly out. Meanwhile Namjoon left the house. You noticed because you nodded him goodbye quietly. That didn’t make you worry. Since you broke up he had a life of his own. That made you feel like you were a burden at first but really he was living it when you were together anyways. At least that’s what Jungkook told you when he came to find you after your breakup. You quickly forgave him tho, he was a precious friend, just not made for relationships. It was bittersweet because you did love each other. Last thing you know, you still very much love him. By the time you got lost in your thoughts you almost forgot about Jungkook. When he pulled back you almost whined at the lack of warmth. Maybe you were touch deprived since that night. As he settled his inked hands on your waist, you gasped. “Noona...”. Reading his eyes there was definitely something but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. The best you could do for this poor boy who seemed to have had a bad day was be a sister figure right ? “Yes Kookie” you said softly grabbing his face look at him in the eyes. Little did you know he was staring at your boobs since he noticed you didn’t wear a bra. His angelic face seemed like it was making him glow. The grip he had on your waist was nothing like what his eyes told you. “You already ate today ?” The childish voice he usually had was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately, you love to solve problems. Not maths, that’s gross. But anything for people was just your thing. Your friends called you unpaid therapist but you didn’t even want to be a therapist, it seemed boring. Realising the hand you unconsciously put up to pat his head could be seen as patronising you slowly pulled it back awkwardly. You were now confused as the man in front of you seemed to scream panic in his eyes. The grip you grew into became harsher leaving almost no space between the two of you. Oh this could not be right, the Kookie you thought was slumping is having a semi-hard. You froze trying to remain the most naturally in the apparently very much needed embrace. “Let’s eat at my place noona !” that voice was back again. It was kinda creepy but you brushed it off. There was no food at your place anyways. “Ugh I’m too lazy to get changed Kook” you smiled apologetically “Put my sweater on !” He did come in with a comically thick coat, he would be fine. You tried not to stare when he took off his hoodie and quickly put it on. Your legs were covered to your knees and Jungkook could swear he let a moan out at the sight.

His place was only a few minutes away so you walked. “Let’s order chicken !” You stared at him dumbfounded. “Ya why did we have to come here then”. You were met with only a shrug from his back. You’d be waiting for at least 15 minutes so you settled on his couch and turned Netflix on. The action made his hoodie ride up your thighs and he couldn’t help ut close the delivery app to snap a few pictures. “Do you want fries with it ?” He asked just to make you look at him “Yes pleaase” He could get used to the sight no doubt. Quickly he placed the order and headed to the couch. Fortunately his couch was a little smaller than yours. Like a little pet he places his head on your lap. You’ve been wanting to continue Start Up so that’s what you put on. Your account was registered on his TV. Everyone trusts him if it comes to technology. Something about how linking your things to his would make it faster. Or about him being able to access everything you do through the camera of those devices and hacking Namjoon’s phone to contact girls and block your number for a few days. Not to mention all your texts and exchanges. All of it. Of course he’s also the one Namjoon “owed his life to” when he managed to unblock you within a few clicks on his computer. “Are you on episode 6 ?” You asked for the third time but he obviously had a weird day you thought. “Of course”. He looked up at you. “Wow we really match”. Anything to hear your giggle. It was worth watching everything you watched. “Do you have a blanket ?”. In a rush he got back with his blanket. You settled on his chest and he had to hold your waist to keep you from falling off the couch. Taking advantage of the position he could talk confidently “You’re beautiful” “I know right ! Suzy IS that bitch”. Somewhere between confusion, relief then frustration he blurts out “I like you”. You twist your whole body so you’re chest to chest. Scanning his eyes you could see the adoration and even desperation. “What was that ?” “I love you”. This was all too serious. Before you could eat him up with your eyes that clearly say rejection he averts his eyes to the screen. “So that’s what the second male lead feels”. He laughs but it doesn’t meet his eyes, you’re still watching him. Not looking to answer anymore just studying him. “I mean Nam Joo Hyuk is worth it I guess”. He tries to lighten up the mood. There you go with that half assed smile. His plan is working, mind you. Now he’s truly the dejected guy friend. Everyone likes that. They always end up close and you had a thing for them. I mean as long as the first candidate is currently dealing with the board of education for “sharing innapropriate pictures of women”. Never assume fixing your computer is going to be free. Namjoon was a good man. He taught him everything he needed to know. Everything about you. He knew it was cheap but the way you were falling asleep in his arms told him he was so close. So close to having you.

#jungkook #namjoon #bts #bts college #bts college au #yandere bts #yandere #jungkook yandere #bts fic #namjoon fic #jungkook fic #kook fic #fluff bts #start up #suzy #nam joohyuk #bts yandere #bts jungkook #bts namjoon

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tlou2holland · 4 years ago

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Joel x reader ( Pt 8 )

Summary: Dina and Ellie come over for a movie night

warnings: none, slight cursing

You can read the previous parts here

To say the following weeks have been stressful, is an understatement. You packed all your stuff, realizing its more than originally calculated. Joel pulled a muscle in his back while helping you and couldn’t move properly for at least a week. Dina and Ellie messed with your stuff and laughed at your secret stuffed animal collection that now wasn’t so secret anymore. Maria and Tommy came over for dinner as soon as Joels home became your home too, and you had to cook for someone else for the first time in your life. You burnt your finger and poured way too much salt onto the meat, making it almost uneatable. Nevertheless, you loved every minute of your new life. Not that everything drastically changed, but you found yourself getting used to sleeping next to someone that snores and almost crushes you in their sleep. You came to like the lazy mornings in bed, and late evenings on the porch. You don´t mind sharing your private space with someone else, and miss Joel terribly when he’s not around. You never thought you’d be able to say this, growing up in a literal apocalypse, but you settled down. Found a place to feel safe and comfortable and a person to call your home. Is this how people used to live before everything went to shit? You wonder.

Tonight would be another night were you’d experience what a normal life used to be like. Ellie and Dina are coming over for a movie night, and you watch Joel as he excitedly prepares some snacks. It’s been months since Ellie actually talked to Joel more than she’s been forced to, but she slowly starts to come around again. You think it’s because of Dina, she has a positive impact on Ellie. Now that the two are officially together as well, life in Jackson almost seems cliché like. So much happiness feels too good to be true. “What got you smiling like that?“ Joel nudges you with your hip and you turn to look at him, dropping the knife in your hand. “Nothing in particular.“ You hand him a piece of the carrot you’ve been cutting and eat one yourself. “It´s the first time you’re hanging out with Dina, right?“ You ask, swinging your carrot in front of Joels face. He chuckles and eats the piece you gave him, sliding a bowl over to you. “Yeah, I mean she’s not my friend. A bit too young for that.“ Joel gives you a funny look and you scratch the carrots from your cutting board into the bowl. “It´s like a double date.“ You giggle and clean the knife with some water. “A weird double date, but still.“ Joel rolls his eyes at you and carries the snacks into the living room, his boots clinging against the hardwood floor. “Don´t remind me.“ He grumbles but you barely hear him. After you finish cleaning up, you join him in the living room and adjust some pictures on the shelves. Joel found an old polaroid a couple of weeks ago and it was still working, so you took pictures with your loved ones and framed them to decorate your home. The one with Ellie, Dina and Jesse you like the most. You are all sitting on the bench, Jesse´s arm around your shoulder while Dina gives Ellie and you bunny ears with her fingers. You smile into the camera and even Ellie laughs, showing off her white teeth. You have more pictures upstairs, private ones, and bite your lip as you think about them. Joel made you pose in your prettiest underwear, sprawled out on your bed, hands reaching towards the camera with a big grin on your face. You were embarrassed at first, but Joel loves the picture and keeps it with him at all times. He said it’s his little reminder of you for when he’s gone on patrol, and you couldn’t help it but laugh at that. You took pictures of him as well, tho. You like the one where he sits on the porch, guitar on his lap and a steaming mug next to him. He was so lost in his playing that he didn’t even realize you took a picture until he saw the bright flash. Another one was taken when you and Joel where cooking together. Tommy visited you two and secretly snapped the picture when Joel was hugging you from behind, a huge smile on both of your faces. “You´re not moving them around again, are you?“ Joels gruff voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you look at him confused. “Huh?“ Your hands fall next to your sides and Joel nods his head towards the frames. “You moved them around at least fife times. You still don’t like the way they look?“ He leans himself against the staircase railing, arms crossed. “Oh no, I was just looking at them.“ You step away from the shelves and push past him to go upstairs. “You should change as well.“ You say over your shoulder as you feel Joels eyes on you. “What´s wrong with what I’m wearing?“ He follows you and swats your bum, making you climb the steps faster. “Your shirt smells, old man.“ You jokingly pull a face and Joel grabs you from behind, trapping you in his arms. “Joel!“ You grab onto the railing and try to break free but Joel simply turns you around and holds your face against his chest. “mmh you smell that?“ He asks, chest vibrating with every word. You scream with laughter and wiggle in his grip, hair getting static from all the friction. “Eww you’re disgusting!“ You tickle his sides to make him let go of you, and dodge out of his arms when he goes to hold his sides. “I just wanted to give you some love, baby.“ He opens his arms for you but you quickly walk into your shared bedroom, shaking your head. “Nah-ah. You can give me love after you put a clean shirt on.“ You pull your own sweater over your head and change into a new one that still smells strongly of soap. “I´ll take you by your word.“ Joel picks your old sweater up from the floor and puts it into the bathtub along with his shirt. A small pile has collected and you groan when you think about having to wash it tomorrow. “Is this smelling alright for you?“ Joel throws his green shirt at you and you fist the material in your hands. “this will do.“ You walk up to him and rest your hands against his chest, briefly playing with the hairs there before leaning up on your toes and kissing him. “and now get ready, we don’t want Ellie and Dina walking in on that, do we?“ Your hand wanders down Joels stomach and he exhales at your touch. “Yes ma´am.“ He quickly pecks your lips and you walk down again, lazily playing with the strings of your hoodie. You look outside and see a thick layer of snow covering the ground, new flakes falling down at a rapid speed. Thinking about all the winters you had to spend outside without a proper roof under your head, you shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. “You don´t hear them knocking?“ Joel skips past you and you break out of your haze, following him to the door. Dina and Ellie come inside, stomping their shoes against the threshold to keep the snow outside. You quickly shut the door behind them to keep the cold air out, and take their jackets to hang them onto your wardrobe. “Next time you’re coming to one of us, outside its fucking cold.“ Dina shakes her arms and Ellie rubs her hands together, blowing into them. “Don´t worry, we have some blankets for you.“ You wave your hand and guide them to the living room, Joel following closely behind. You point to the couch and hold your hands in front of you. “Sit, I’ll get you something to drink.“ You gesture to the empty seats and are about to turn around when Joel kisses your temple. “Sit with them, I’ll get the drinks.“ Ellie awkwardly watches the interaction and loudly plumps down onto the cushions. Dina giggles and sits down next to her, quickly covering the both of them with a blanket and looking at you. “Thank you.“ You smile at Joel and take a seat at the other couch, feet moving to rest on the coffee table in front of you. “help yourselves.“ You gesture to the snacks and Dina sequels when she spots the cookies you made. “God it’s been ages since I last had cookies!“ She reaches into the bowl and gets two, handing one to Ellie. You laugh at your friends eagerness and take one yourself, liking how sweet they taste. “You still like hot cocoa?“ Joel returns from the kitchen and holds four steaming mugs in his hands, talking to Ellie. Her eyes widen and she takes one from Joel. “Shit Joel, where’d you get that?“ She sniffs at the liquid and watches Joel as he gives another mug to Dina and you. “Well, there’s this store on our new patrol route. They still had the powder. It’s long expired, but powder can’t get bad right?“ He takes a sip and curses slightly when he burns the tip of his tongue. You stifle a laugh and blow on it before drinking from your mug, licking your lips afterwards. “You know when I last had this?“ Ellie raises her mug and shakes her head. “It´s been years, I don’t care if its expired or not.“ Ellie shyly looks at Joel and he clears his throat. “I´m glad that you like it.“ Joel presses his lips together and you happily cuddle into his side, throwing a blanket over the two of you. “What movie are we watching?“ Dina rests her head against Ellies shoulder and Joel stares at Ellie and her blushed cheeks, so you elbow him. “Curtis and Viper 4.“ You push yourself away from Joel to grab the remote and turn the TV on. “Sounds old.“ Dina laughs and Ellie lowers her mug from her lips. “It´s Joels favorite.“ She looks at him and gives him a crooked smile. “I like it, too.“ She shrugs her shoulders and you feel Joel tense next to you, trying to hide a smile. “You have no other choice, given how many times I made you watch that.“ Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and you gently pat his leg under the blanket, happy for him that he can talk to Ellie without it being tensed. “You read savage starlight, I’d say we’re quit.“ Ellie mumbles, quickly eating another cookie to end the conversation. Joel nods and takes the remote from your hands, starting the movie and holding you tight against his side. It feels weird to cuddle Joel in front of others, but on the other side it also feels normal, just a bit foreign. Dina can´t stop staring at you two, and you have to throw some carrots at her to stop her from eying you the whole time. Even Ellie casts a look at you two from time to time, but looks away every time Joels eyes meet hers. „I quite like this.“ You mumble against Joels chest as he starts playing with your hair. “Me too.“ He keeps his eyes directed to the screen and silently mouthes the lines from time to time, thinking you won’t notice.

The movie goes on for what feels like forever, and when its over, Dina and Ellie are softly snoring on the sofa next to you. You nudge Joel and turn off the Tv, lazily stretching yourself. “Should we let them sleep?“ You whisper. Joel looks at Ellie and collects another blanket, standing up and softly laying it over her. You never heard him walk this quiet before and hold onto your chest, a smile evident on your face. “They had patrol this morning, let them rest.“ Joel grabs the mugs and winces when they bump into each other and make noise. Dina simply scratches her nose and mumbles something inaudible, leaning more against Ellie. You grab the bowls from the table and put the contents into a container to keep them fresh before walking up the stairs with Joel. “When was the last time you slept under the same roof with three women?“ You joke, stifling a yawn with your hand. “It´s the first time I will be sleeping while three women are under my roof.“ Joel teases back, and you look at him with wide eyes. “I´m joking baby.“ Joel laughs at your shocked impression and lays an arm around you. You quiet down his laughing by kissing him, tasting chocolate and cookies on his tongue. “You better be.“ You peel yourself away from him and get ready for bed, sighing heavily when your body connects with the mattress. Joel grunts and lays down next to you, bed squeaking under his weight. You lay on your side and open your arm, inviting Joel to snuggle closer. He rests his head on your pillow and hugs you close, your own arms wrapping around his neck. “Maybe they’ll come around more often.“ You mumble as you stroke Joels thick hair. He closes his eyes and draws small patterns on your back. “I ain´t complaining, house is big enough.“ His hot breath fans your chest and you scratch his neck, nails grazing over the skin. “You´re not going to ask them to move in as well, are you?“ You close your eyes and hear Joel chuckle beneath you. “Don´t worry, you won’t have to share me with anyone else.“ He pinches your side and you swat his hand away with a giggle. “Good, you don’t want to see me jealous.“ “Oh I think I’d might like that.“ Joel bites the exposed flesh of your collarbone and you gasp, hands moving to push him away. “Stop it.“ You give him a warning look but he can’t see your face in the dark, continuing to roam his hands over your body. A shiver erupts along your spine as his hands move under your shirt and towards your breasts, brushing over the sensitive flesh. “you really want me to stop?“ His breath hits your ear and he attacks your jaw with kisses, moving down to your sweet spot. “We have Ellie and Dina downstairs.“ You say weakly, hands stopping to push him away and resting on his shoulders instead. “You have to stay quiet, then.“ “Joel.“ Your voice is raspy and you finally find the self-control to grab his hands and keep them trapped in yours. “No funny business tonight.“ You say in a stern voice, although your smile says otherwise. “Fine.“ Joel sighs and pulls his hands out of your hold, dramatically turning around, his back facing you. “Oh come on.“ You giggle and snuggle closer, hugging him from behind. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls your arm under his, keeping your hand close to his chest. You lean your face against his strong shoulder and kiss his shirtless form, feeling how warm his skin is against your lips. “Good night, baby.“ He kisses your hand in return and you tangle your legs with his, warming your cold feet on his warm ones. “Good night.“

Your sleep doesn’t last long. A gentle kiss to your forehead wakes you up, and you open your eyes. Outside its still dark and the only lightning is coming from downstairs, together with hushed voices. “Tommy and I have to clean some infected areas, Maria wants us to do it before you guys go on patrol.“ Joels voice is still groggy from the lack of using it overnight, and you sit up, covers sliding to your hip. “You have to leave now?“ You ask tiredly, rubbing sleep from your eyes. Joel nods and you realize he’s already dressed, jacket and backpack laying by the end of the bed. “Be careful, okay?“ You cup his cheek and pull him down for a kiss, lips lazily moving against his. He pulls away and gets up to strip on his jacket. “Always.“ He pulls the covers back over your sleeping form and you watch him leave, before dozing off for some more minutes. Sleep won’t come back, you’re too worried for that. So you get up after some tossing and turning, and decide to start your day. Dina and Ellie have already left, probably awoken by Tommy or Joel. You eat breakfast in silence and clean a bit afterwards, washing the dreaded laundry and hanging it all around the house to dry. After you got ready yourself, you prepare your backpack and make your way over to the butcher where you’d meet Jesse. You’re assigned for patrol this late morning, and he’s your partner. You already see his slender form leaning against a wooden pole, chatting away with Marcus. You sigh and approach the two, boots sinking into the snow. “Morning guys.“ You awkwardly wave at them and dodge Marcus gaze. “You´re early for once.“ Jesse teases and salutes at you, while Marcus looks anywhere but to you. “Well, eh-“He scratches his neck and slowly backs away, fingers pointing over his shoulder. “I´ll get going, I´m needed somewhere else.“ He quickly bits goodbye to Jesse and stumbles down the few stairs, hurrying along the streets towards god knows where. Jesse looks at you and raises an eyebrow. “Did he ever apologize to you?“ Jesse asks. You nod and slip your gloves on, breath thick like a cloud in front of your face. “Once, but he couldn’t even look me in the eye. I don´t mind tho, I know it was an accident. It’s Joel he needs to apologize to.“ “Yeah that’s never going to happen.“ Jesse shakes his head and you chuckle, following him towards the gate. “I know, Joel won’t apologize for pushing him either. He´s one hell of a stubborn man.“ You kick some snow from your feet and Jesse shrugs his shoulders. “He´s not the only stubborn person here.“ Jesse gives you a look and you roll your eyes. “Oh cause you’re so much better.“ You laugh and shove Jesse further away from you, his chuckle ringing in your eyes. “I´m just saying, you’re almost as stubborn as Dina. And that means something.“ He points his finger at you and you ignore his comment, changing the topic. “Why did Maria sent Tommy and Joel on an early patrol? Isn´t it way more dangerous?“ You frown and Jesse rests his hands on his hips, stopping at the east gate. “There´s been a lot of infected sightings lately, Maria simply wants them to clear the path for us. They’re experienced and can take a look at how bad the situation really is. Don´t worry, they’ll be fine.“ He briefly looks at you as you guys wait for your horses. “You better be right, I don’t want to become a widow.“ You mumble gloomily. “Don´t you guys need to be married for that, first?“ Jesse jokes and you shoot him a glare. “Not funny.“ You gladly take the reins from the stables boy and greet your horse with a quick pet when they approach. Your legs feel stiff as you swing yourself on top and get seated into the saddle. Jesse does the same and gestures for the security people to open the gate. “We´ll be fine, the same goes for Tommy and Joel.“ With that his horse picks up speed and runs over the snowy fields, you following close behind. You cringe at the cold wind clapping against your face and pull the hood of your sweater over your head to keep your ears from freezing off. “You know where we’re going?“ You shout over the loud whistling of wind. “Yeah, just follow me!“ Jesse guides you through some abandoned villages and to the next lookout, hidden inside an old tower. You breathe out relieved, happy that no infected crossed your path so far. You bind your horses onto a pole and climb up the rusty ladder to get inside. “Here, look around for any infected while I write our names into the book.“ Jesse hands you field glasses and you position yourself in front of the big window, overlooking the small town. “I see nothing.“ You state as you scan the area, spotting nothing of danger or matter. “You checked the woods too?“ Jesse asks as he scribbles something into the book, probably that your lookout was still safe and nothing ordinary happened. “Yeah, no lights, no infected. Nothing.“ You lower the glasses and hand them to Jesse when he walks over to you. “Hmm, we should keep looking for a bit. Maria said a horde was spotted here some days ago.“ “A horde?“ You shiver at the thought of having dozens of infected roaming through the woods. “Yeah, they’re inside some buildings. We need to clean them on the next group patrol.“ “Jeeze.“ You cross your arms in front of your chest and step back, watching Jesse from behind. “Yeah, it’s going to be interesting for sure.“ Jesse stops looking around and puts the glasses back onto the old tray he got them from. “The weather is changing for the worst, let´s head back, Joel and Tommy should also be on their way. We can prepare everything for the next patrol and pick our team.“ Jesse slides the backpack onto his shoulders and you grab yours, blowing a last puff of hot air into your palms before following him. “I can´t wait.“ You say sarcastically, climbing back onto your horse and making your way back to Jackson. Today’s patrol was unspectacular and quick, and you are grateful for it. Next patrol will be hard enough…

#Joel Miller #tlou joel #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanart #joel miller imagine #Ellie Williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou #TLoU fanart #tlou icons #tlou2 #tlou part ii #tlou ii #tlou ellie #tlou part 2 #tloup2

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thefloatingstone · 5 years ago

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We’ve gone from Self-Isolation to Quarantine and in some places to gradual relaxation phases, but that doesn’t stop the need for more nonsense you can watch on youtube while you wait for things to get back to normal. And recommending things and making lists are some of my favourite things to do but I have not yet figured out how to start or structure a video myself, you guys get another rambling tumblr post of things you can watch on youtube.

This time I’m once again just gonna recommend individual videos rather than full channels like I did in part 2.

Part 1

Part 2

In no particular order;

LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You

I recently started watching the Nexpo channel when I went on a binge of creepy youtube videos. Most of his videos are really good although the ones where he himself goes into theory crafting can be a little asinine. However, this video is REALLY good. And before you get nervous, LOCAL58 is not a real TV station. LOCAL58 is a youtube channel created by the same guy behind the Candle Cove creepypasta. This video by Nexpo covers the various episodes of LOCAL58 and discusses them. Just be aware going in that this is abstract horror, and will probably get under your skin regardless if you’re unaffected by certain topics or not. although cw for suicide mention.

I also recommend most of the rest of this channel, although be careful where you tread. I don’t recommend his series “Disturbing things from around the internet” as it can sometimes include real life crime, abuse and such caught on security cameras. Everything else is really good tho. (although I was really annoyed by his 2 videos on KrainaGrzybowTV)

The Search for D.B. Cooper

LEMMiNO has a new video out covering one of the most unexplained crimes in the past century of the US. LEMMiNO is the guy I’ve recommended before who did videos on the Universal S. He is very down to earth and not someone prone to conspiracy or even really that fanciful of thinking. (He’s like the one person I feel covered the Dyaltov Pass incident and was confused by why this was even a mystery because if you read the Russian Autopsy reports and documents associated with the case it’s all pretty logical and easily explained)

D.B. Cooper is the name given to a man who, in 1971, hijacked an airplane with a bomb, asked for a large sum of money, and after receiving it, parachuted from the plane and was never seen or heard from again.

The Austrian Wine Poisoning | Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole also has a new video out, this time covering the Austrian Wine Poisoning event from 1985. A scandal that involved literally the entire country of Austria, affected multiple countries, and forever changed the way wine was made world wide. As someone who is generally pretty allergic to most artificial substances this one made me personally very angry. But luckily, it has a happy ending and a better world for us all... if I could drink wine which I can’t do anyway.

The Turbulent Tale of Yandere Dev - A Six Year Struggle

The Right Opinion is another channel I only recently subbed to after watching his cover on Onion Boy. I put off subbing to him simply because of his channel name and I thought it meant he would come across as smug and elitist. Luckily this seems to merely be one of those “I chose a bad channel name and now I’m stuck with it” type of situations. (IHE has a similar problem).

Anyway, I have a weird interest in bizarre internet personalities, so I’ve been enjoying his channel as he simply discusses and presents a timeline of events of certain individuals. In this video, he covers the developer behind the much maligned Yandere Simulator. It’s a tale of hubris, arrogance, immaturity, and an unwillingness to accept your own shortcomings due to ego.

Oh and there’s a meme game about Japanese school girls with anime tiddies in there as well.

The Most Relaxing Anime Ever Made | Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō

Kenny Lauderdale is a youtube channel which is slowly becoming bigger which I’m very happy to see. He exclusively covers anime and live action Japanese television no younger than the mid 90s (as is the case with YYK) and which usually never saw a release outside of Japanese Laserdisc. I do wish his videos were a little longer, but if nothing else his videos serve as an excellent starting to point to find some older and underappreciated shows... or hot garbage fires. In this episode he talks about the 2 OVA episodes made based on one of my favourite manga, Yokohama Shopping Log. A Post apocalyptic anime about an android who runs a coffee shop outside of her house, and the quiet solitude of living in a world of declining human population, brief encounters with travelers and other people, and just... existing. The anime was never released outside of Japan and is only available on Japanese VHS and laserdisc.... but hey guess what!! Somebody uploaded both episodes, subbed, to Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HCVOH6DtA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSTwfkobME

YMS’ slow descent into madness as he uncovers just how bullshit the Kimba Conspiracy is

I’m linking a full playlist for this one.

YMS is busy planning his review on the “live action” Lion King remake as the original 1994 movie is probably his favourite movie all time (and also self declared what made him a furry). As part of the 2 hour review, he decided to what all 2000 hours of Kimba the White Lion just to mention how The Lion King potentially stole the idea. ....until he actually watched all 2000 hours of Kimba and realised that if you actually WATCH Kimba, it has VERY little to do with the Lion King at all apart from having the same animals in them because AFRICA. Watch as one man slowly loses his mind as he realises just how stupid this conspiracy theory is, just HOW DECEITFUL and straight up LYING people can be. People who write BOOKS. People who teach LAW AT UNIVERSITIES. Because NOBODY bothered to actually watch the entire show and just parroted the “Disney stole this” lie which got started by like 2 salty fans on the internet.

The man set out to just mention how Disney stole an idea, and uncovered one of the most infuriating rabbit holes on the internet. Screaming for SOMEONE to provide him with sources or evidence.

YMS will be publishing his full Kimba documentary this month which he has said is around 2 hours long before he continues to work on the Lion King one.

Science Stories: Loch Ness eDNA results, Poop Knives, and Skeleton Lovers

TREY the Explainer has a video giving us some updates in Archeology from 2019. In this video he discusses the findings of the eDNA results conducted on the Loch Ness to see what animal DNA the lake contains which will tell us what living animals currently inhabit the lake, ancient knives made of poop and if this is a real thing that could have existed, and a skeleton couple found buried together which were at first thought to be lovers, then revealed to be both male, and then how in this instance we cannot let our modern sensibilities dictate what we WANT this burial find to be, but to look at the evidence as presented to us and place in context finds of this nature. The worst thing an archaeologist can do is look for proof to a theory they already have.

The Bizarre Modern Reality of Sonic the Hedgehog

Super Eyepatch Wolf is back and he’s here to talk to us about the very very strange existence of Sonic. a 90s rebellious “too cool for School” answer to Mario, a lost idea as the world of video games changes and culture shifted, a meme and punching bag amplified by a unique fanbase and poor quality games, a transcendence into a horrific warped idea of what he once was, and modern day and where Sonic and his fans are now. As usual Super Eyepatch Wolf knocks it out of the park.

Kokoro Wish and the Birth of a Multiverse: A Lecture on the Work of Jennifer Diane Reitz

I don’t even sub to this channel as I’m not entirely sure what Ben’s usual content is about. But every now and then he has a “101″ class, where he explains to a room full of his friends in a classroom setting (complete with Whiteboard) an internet artist and oddity, the timeline, and what it is they have created. (wait... didn’t I say this already?). Unlike TRO however, the 101 classrooms are not a dark look into disturbed individuals (although the CWC 101 is debatable) nor is it a “lol look at this weirdo” dragging. Instead, of the 3 he’s done so far, it’s usually a rather sympathetic look at some of the strange artists on the internet who through some way or another, left a very big cultural impact on the internet space through their art. Sometimes they may not be the best people, but their work is so outside of what we’re used to seeing that just listening to him run you through these people’s internet history is fascinating.

In this episode he talks about Jennifer Diane Reitz. And although it is titled Kokoro Wish, the lecture is more about Jennifer’s larger work back in the early internet when being a weeb was unheard of, how being trans influenced her stories and characters, and her world building that is so rich and in-depth with it’s own ASTRO PHYSICS it puts any modern fictional world found in games or movies to shame.

Jennifer is not exactly a nice person... and in many ways can be seen as dangerously irresponsible, but she created something truly unique in a way that you kinda struggle figuring out if it’s terrible or a work of genius.

Anyway I think that’s enough for now

#Youtube #youtubers #recommendations #Self Isolation playlist #Long post #part 3 #videos #links

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gothamsglam · 4 years ago

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Live reacting Wonder Woman 1984

SPOLIERS (duh)

Also yes I know I'm late but eh

BABY DIANA YAY

I love the island it's always so PRETTY

Spider man Spider-Man

"Is this the Olympics???" "Yes, the Amazon Olympics" *wheeze*

I like seeing her being a tactician

SWIMMING

HORSES

Is Diana a horse girl?

My aunt: look honey, a little girl did that

ICONIC

aw man she fell noooo

OOOO?

She sliding

EYYYY SHE'S BACK IN

Oh but she didn't do the arrow tho

NOOOOO dang it

Awwwww no she's crying

I'm glad they're very gentle in teaching her

AW BABY DIANA HAS FRECKLES???? ADORABLE

I liked the title transition

"I thought that stood for 'World War' not 'wonder woman'" "world war 84????"

Could u imagine being like "yeah I saw saved by a lasso at my wedding lol"

My mom, seeing nachos: I want nachos

Man people ran when they saw a gun back then, lol how times have changed

NO THE KID WHAT THS FRACK

YAY DIANA

Man that thing with the cameras was so AMAZING OH MY GOD

Spiderman spider man

OMG I LOVE THE LITTLE GIRL, i think her name is Courtney??? That's what the captions said

"wait is it called DC because washington DC?" "Yeah" "ohhhhh"

"why are they in DC" "maybe she lives there, what's it to you?"

Ohhhh is that candy??? Awww candy

oh this is cute, barbara is cute, this is kinda *makes hand movement*

Hhhhh languages

Oooo wishes

Is she wishing steve back??? Ohhhhhh omg

We stan female friendships (or more akdjdkska)

EARLY DINNER???? (🌈🌈🌈???)

Oooo watch symbolism

Barbara is so cute oh my gosksnxksnsksks

"have you ever been in love" my uncle: where do I even start

Also this is so gayyyyyy tho

Oh is this going to be the only poc in the movie? Yikes

Oh not the nice guy cliche

Diana to the rescue!!!!

I feel like they're gonna wish steve back

Oooo wishes

Ohhhh he's evil I'm sure

You know when someone tries too hard??? Yeahhhh

Oh no propaganda in movies lovely (let's feel bad for billionaires)

I do feel bad for the kid

So did barbara just get a charisma bonus????

Diana kinda looks like Prianka Chopra in that dress

Ohhh barbara is in black, Diana is in white, I wonder what that means ((symbolism))

Ew sleezy business men

STEB IS BACK

Did the guy just completely change, what?

"1984" rooolllll credits

What the frick is this guy like in someone else's body? Isn't that a bit, uh, weird

So the world sees him as some other guy but Steve is uh steve to Diana

I don't like this but ok

I hate to be that guy but that's an awful wish

Wonder Woman 2: Electric Boogalo

Steve are you just eating a pop tart in bed wtf

Barbara what, are you going to the gym or the beach

Also 👀👀👀

Is he like the anti-genie

Ohhhhhh cinemic parallels with like the costume scene in Wonder Woman (2017) I see u

Ohhhh dancing huh??

AIDJDKE HOW HE TRIED TO PROTECT HER AW

"that's just a trash can" KAKDJDKDJDKJEOE

I wish that guy was unsuccessful in his wishes

Oh nooo oh I want them to be friends please don't make barbara evil nooooo

Please don't make her evil please please

Why can't we have like a nice woman-woman friendship without then having one being like jelaous and then being an antagonist??? Is that too much to ask

Did the stone drain Diana of her power and gave it to Barbara? Is that what's going on here

Ok but how'd they get into the office

Ok but how did they get a plane

Oh they're gonna get caught

A COFFEE CUP DIANA????

Steve's reactions are so pure oh my god

Ah invisible jet lit

Aren't you not supposed to fly in fire works or something???

My dad: stop holding hands and drive the plane dumbarse

STOP MAKING BARBARA BAD NO

Ok but do punch arseholes but still stop being evil

BARBARA DON'T BE MEAN TO LEON COME ON

Ok so it's not a wish but an exchange?

WAIT SO IS THE STONE LIKE AN EXCHANGE NOT A WISH GRANTER? SO WHEN DIANA WISHED FOR STEVE HER POWERS WERE UP FOR GRABS AND SO BARBARA IS GETTING THEM AND BARBARA IS EITHER GIVING UP HER COMPASSION OR THE STONE???

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr because max has become the stone it's corrupted (because greed) and that's why it's now ah exchange and not just a wish

I don't like this oil and arab mini plot, something about how it's portrayed makes me uneasy

OH NO SHES SHOT

SO HER POWERS ARE GETTING LOST OK

This is not good™

is Barbara some kinda villain? Bc she looks like we the audience should recognize her but I don't know much about DC to get it

OH I KNOW THIS ACTOR HES INDIAN RIGHT???

so I was half right

How did no one hear barbara leave she's wearing like platform heels???

What the frick is going on with maxwell Jesus

Is he gonna lose Alister??? Bc then I'll cry

Ew child exploration at it's finest

Are they gonna fight :(

I thought she said she didn't have a TV >:)

also oooo I didn't know the lasso did that

Where have I heard POTUS before?

OOOOO HEADBAND THING OOOO

OMG LASSO FIGHTING

DID SHE HIT THAT BULLET???

BARBARA NO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

My aunt, in hindi: now you too fight, go

Oh my god no BARBARA NOOO :((((

she looks like she shopped at hot topic tho, good for her

Jesus

I hate how much nukes are just plot devices in movies bc ugh

noooo steve :((((((

Now Diana's full of rage, good for her

Oh she can fly now!!!! Cool!!!!

Oh this is also a villain origin story too huh?

NOOOO THE KID 😭😭😭

GOLDEN WINGS GOLDEN WINGS GOLDEN WINGS

BARBARA NOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh she's a cheetah, ok

SO I SEE WHAT THEY DID WITH THE ANIMAL PRINT OK

BARBARA NOOOOOO :((((

Ah yes greed

All magic comes with a price!!!

Well at least this time the hero is monologuing

Man that was alot all at once

Wait would Barbara still have her powers bc she wasn't shown renouncing it

Wait it's Christmas??? I thought it was summer?

Ahhh yes talking to the guy who's body your boyfriend stole, amazing

Ok I liked this one better than the last but um so far something seems to be falling short when it comes to the way these movies are carried out. I love the characters, and the concepts but I'm not as immersed in the movie as I thought I would be. Maybe it's me??? Maybe it's the execution??? Maybe it's Maybelline??? Who knows

Anyways I give it a recommend but only because one I loved Barbara's bastardization arc it was lit, even though I would have loved to see Diana have a cool friend at work. I also liked Steve and Diana bc I think they're adorable

#wonder woman movie #wonder woman live reaction #wonder woman spoliers #wonder woman 1984 #wonder woman 1984 spoilers #wonder woman 1984 live reaction #text post #long post #diana prince #spoliers #not marvel #dc #ww84 #ww84 spoilers #ww84 live reactions #vix reacts

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 5 years ago

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you’re not the poison; it’s me.

... um. titans 2.07 absolutely WRECKED me you guys, and i would like to tell you why in excruciating detail:

SPOILERS ahead

(and before i go ahead, i just want to say this: this episode deals with ptsd and psychosis and suicidal ideation explicitly, in ways that even i found difficult to watch. it’s very intense. please keep that in mind if you decide to watch it.)

1. usually genre tv shows like to pile on the trauma but deal with its fallout either rarely or in oblique ways--shots of the character brooding, a couple of ‘candid’ talks filled with frustrating euphemisms, then it’s on to tackling the next plot point. not titans tho--for this show, the trauma is very much the point. the plot is wafer-thin and takes a backseat as the show takes episode after episode to break down its central characters and hammer it in that there are no easy fix-its for complex trauma, and that Dealing with it is a continuous, sometimes lifelong process. it forces you to keep re-evaluating and re-contextualising the actions of these characters and challenges your assumptions.

1.5. for instance: let’s take donna troy. in s1 she was the put-together big sister to dick, content with living her life outside the superhero community while giving sound advice to dick about how he can get his own life back on track. now? she’s a stressed, paranoid wreck, plagued by horrible memories and taking her insecurities out on dick and jason and whoever else is available. deathstroke’s machinations aside, there’s something deeply dysfunctional about the way the original titans operated, the ways they brought both the best and the worst out of each other. it seems like none of them really understood the seriousness of what they were doing until they did something truly terrible that they couldn’t take back, and it was earth-shattering enough that donna completely abandoned her old life to live as a civilian. trigon’s vision for her in 2.01 reminded her that she was fooling herself; coming back to titans tower and actually having to face what made her run away in the first place has broken down the walls she’s spent five years putting up. it’s not pretty to watch, but... it tracks.

2. after having written post after post about dick cracking under relentless stress and the weight of his own guilt complex, it was startling to see him actually fall apart. halluci!bruce was absolutely brutal and really brought home the fact that Good Lord, Dick Grayson Is So Far From Okay That It’s Not Even Funny Anymore.

because here’s the thing: dick is deeply unwell, and however the show proceeds with his character from here on out, this episode made absolutely no bones about that fact. his single-minded dash to find and kill slade is framed as both irrational and suicidal. he’s visibly on edge, bursting into bouts of uncontrollable rage. he’s shown to carry a guilt complex the size of mount everest, to the point where it actually seems delusional. he’s fucking terrified of abandonment, to the point where he’d rather cut off ties on his own rather than have others leave him. he’s constantly berating himself and this doesn’t give him a moment to sit down and think and try to form a rational plan. halluci!bruce even mentions meds and “uppers and downers” to cope, and i am genuinely concerned that that was what dick actually did to cope in the immediate aftermath of whatever the fuck went down with him and joey and deathstroke. maybe it’s ptsd with a secondary psychosis triggered by nearly losing jason the same way he lost his parents (and massive sleep deprivation, i imagine), or maybe there’s another underlying chronic mental illness. either way, he needs help.

man but halluci!bruce was vicious. if this is what dick has running in his head at all times, no wonder he broods, and no wonder he takes others admonishing his choices with barely any protest!

2.25. looking at this from a different perspective, tho, here’s another way in which bruce wayne functions as a symbol on this show. phantom!bruce is how dick normally externalises everything he hates about himself, and this dynamic plays out very literally in this episode.

interestingly, and somewhat heartbreakingly, it took dick accepting and internalising his low opinion of himself and his veritable ocean of guilt for judgy!bruce wayne to turn into loving, concerned!bruce wayne, who would comfort dick and wipe his tears. (it is entirely heartbreaking that that’s what dick subconsciously craves from bruce.) dick must debase himself for love and acceptance. it’s fucking tragic.

2.55. and what does it mean--for dick and for his friendships with the og titans--that he’s so convinced that they would leave him if he told them the truth about jericho? for one, even back then, it seemed like dick was doing a lot of the emotional labour for the team: as a leader he both funnelled and executed the team’s plans, with responsibility for the fallout falling unevenly and mostly on his shoulders; he acted as the go-between for the team and bruce, for donna and garth, probably for hank and dawn, given he was dawn’s rebound. later, hank and dawn are visibly concerned by how viciously he fights. after re-forming the titans, he continues to shoulder responsibility for the shit-show that deathstroke rains on them, although he didn’t know deathstroke was alive when he re-opened the tower. of course he thinks that the team will think that he’s beyond redemption if they find out the truth; of course he’d want to go and finish off deathstroke on his own--or die in the process--before any of them finds out.

2.75. but guys, here’s the thing: in spite of all of this, dick grayson still went around to check on conner and jason and assure the latter that he didn’t blame him for running off on his own. he saw jason standing there on a precipice right at the end, and decided he was going to be opaque anymore, or fall back on what he learned from bruce. he sits down with jason and finally divulges the secret that he had been willing to die to protect--making himself vulnerable to save jason’s life. he’s trying so goddamn hard even though his brain is rioting against him right now and probably has been for years. it’s just--i can’t imagine a truer, more sensitive portrayal of dick grayson than this.

3. watching jason reach his breaking point was,,, Not Fun. it’s one thing to be seemingly passed on like unwanted baggage from guardian to guardian. to be viewed with contempt and impatience when he just wants to make sure his voice isn’t lost in the constant shuffle. to be looked at as an impostor by the very people he looks upto. to be assigned the role of hot-headed fuck-up despite all his attempts to be useful, to prove himself. but to have all of that fall on him all at once on top of (poorly) dealing with a near-death experience? yikes.

3.25. and the horrible, tragic, human part of it all is that donna and the others probably didn’t even know what they were doing to jason by piling on him like that? he’s a relative outsider to both rachel and the og titans. he’s an arrogant prick that’s easy to hate. without dick and gar to stand up for jason, he’s cornered by people who haven’t even gotten to the point of seeing him as a vulnerable kid that’s struggling, just like the rest of them.

3.5. and so the two robins perch on the ledge, each convinced that they are poison that will either kill or drive their friends away. it’s a fraught moment of connection that stops jason from jumping, but he doesn’t step away. both of them are on a precipice in more ways than one; i can only hope they help each other land on the right side.1

also, bruce wayne? send your sons to therapy MY GOD

4. kory and rachel using their awesome powers in concert to cure conner! kory using her cultural background to connect to and help conner! conner mumbling in kryptonian! krypto fucking shooting across the sky with eve on his back! in such a sad and intense episode, it’s important to remember that some fantastic things happened as well!

5. here’s the thing: i don’t think dick killed jericho in the way that he probably thinks he does. dick is a hugely unreliable narrator--that’s been his Thing since s1. part of me thinks jericho should be dead; whatever happened with him and the titans has been built up to be such an earth-shattering event that it would kinda be cheating if he survived anyway. the other bigger part of me says: fuck that noise. JOEY WILSON LIVES, and that’s that

6. gar was sleeping? are you kidding me??? i’m assuming deathstroke drugged him or something so that he wouldn’t be there to Talk Sense and stop these melodramatic fools from tearing into each other. i can only hope that there’s some Big Plans for him down the line.

#titans #titans spoilers #dick grayson #jason todd #donna troy #bruce wayne #cw suicide #cw mental illness #meta

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madebycoffee · 4 years ago

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OH ALSO I finished watching Legend of Korra and here is non spoiler thoughts: I really enjoyed it and just like atla I cried at every single season finale. I really like that the main cast while still young, is older than the lITERAL children of atla. atla still holds up watching it as an adult, but I feel like korra is a bit more my jive. There is only one episode that I won’t watch again (season 4 remembrances, when you are binging the show it isn’t necessary as it’s a recap and not as fun as ember island players which serves the same purpose in atla. Also I looked on IMDB, that is the lowest rated episode. I agree. Honestly, if you are binging you can skip it) but I can def see myself watching the whole thing again. Season 1 is my overall favorite of the series.

Spoiler thoughts below the cut because WOW I HAVE THOUGHTS (it’s long)

hi spoiler time last chance to look away

Before going into LOK I had read a decent amount of spoilers beforehand since this aired back in 2012-2014. I don’t think I even knew about it after it was nearly done so the one thing I knew was that Korra & Asami get together lol. Anyway my point is I knew what was coming overall.

Season 1: My personal favorite, I think it’s a really strong stand alone season. I thought it was really smart to begin the series in the water tribe again, as well as with Katara as that’s how ATLA started. I also think its really clever that with Aang, he was very spiritual and a master airbender already, but needed to learn the other 3 element. Korra is the opposite. It helps it not be so repetitive. We already saw one avatar working to master fire, water, and earth. I also realized how used to the world of atla I was and was confused for a split second how Mako and Bolin were brothers but one was an earthbender and one was a firebender... Yeah I know I’m dumb and I forgot that its a different world lol. -Another strong point was that no matter how in danger Korra got in season 1 she never went into the avatar state, because as she says in what ep 1? that she has never been good at the spiritual side of being the avatar. Part of me kept expecting it to happen, but even the final showdown with Amon it didn’t so I was like oh damn. The finale when she does go into the avatar state with Aang giving her the bending she lost back.... I was a wreck. Sobbing my eyes out it just HIT ME. -Other moments that hit me hard: Hearing Dante Basco’s voice as General Iroh ow my soul, Hearing through Katara that Sokka is dead, The flashbacks to the trial of the bloodbender (forgot his name??) and seeing them get bloodbent HURTS MY HEART. And every time Aang’s statue was shown. ;-; Also, just like ATLA there isn’t a main character that I dislike. I genuinely like Korra, Asami, Mako, & Bolin as a team. Lin is my favorite which not hard being Toph’s daughter lol. Tenzin and fam are a delight (though Meelo can get on my nerves but eh) TL:DR SEASON 1 IS GREAT I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH IT AGAIN!!

Season 2: Alright so. A lot of Spirit World dealings. Unalaq being a GASP evil brother??? LOK has a thing about brothers lol. First with Amon and whathisname, now with Korra’s dad and uncle. Anyway, season 2 I really like too. Yes even the finale. And it’s been a few weeks (maybe months??) since I watched season 2 so the finale is really all that stands out. Other than that I do really like seeing the story of the first avatar. OH MAN AND IROH IN THE SPIRIT WORLD HAD ME ALL SORTS OF LEVELS OF EMOTIONAL. -SO. This was the big spoiler I knew going in, that the past lives of the Avatar are severed from Korra. I know that A LOT of people really don’t like it either. And upon hearing that plot point I didn’t like it as well. But when I sat down and watched the whole series. I actually thought it was the right thing to do. And I didn’t mind it as much as I thought. Korra can no longer call upon the past lives which is sad, but those Avatars still existed. And with Tenzin being so prevalent in the show, it really feels like Aang is still there in spirit. The reason I thought it was the right thing to do with the story, is that it let’s the show as a whole exist on it’s own. IDK how to properly explain.. I get why people don’t like it, but it makes sense to me. -And I do commend the show runners for sticking to this. There is no getting contact back with the past lives. Which, personally I approve of. Whenever you do something world altering like that it annoys me when the show takes it back. My main gripe is people dying but wAIT NO THEY’RE ALIVE!!! It lessens the stakes. And I think a through line of Korra is that actions have consequences. TL;DR I LIKE SEASON 2 AS WELL. DOESN’T LEAVE A LASTING IMPRESSION SINCE THE FINALE IS SUCH A BIG DEAL.

Season 3: I THINK this would be my second favorite season. I REALLY like Zaheer as I guess the ~big bad~ and the squad he has. SO much so that I’m actually upset that they all are dead by the end. I think P’Li is done the dirtiest. You see and know very little about her until an ~exposition~ line a few scenes before she dies. (But damn if the scene of Su throwing her metal breastplate around her head isn’t hardcore cool. I haven’t said yet but the fight sequences in Korra??? Amazing.) Bolin finding out he can Lavabend??? oh hell yeah that’s the good shit, same with lavabending in GENERAL. seeing what people can REALLY do with their bending is probably my favorite part about Korra. I do think Zaheer looks a little silly when he starts flying around, but hey that part is cool too. Also easily the most horrified I’ve been watching this show was the pulling the aiR OUT OF SOMEONE. JESUS. Up until that point Airbending still seemed like the least dangerous form but HOLY SHIT. I will say that the way Kuvira is if not introduced/ we’re reminded about her in the finale is a little bit more like “uhhh is Korra’s dad going to have an affair???” to me than “she gonna be the big bad next season” Also on IMDB the finale of season 3 is the highest rated finale.

Season 4: Even thought this has the same number of episodes as season 3, it feels the most rushed to me. However I do appreciate the timejump and GODTDAMN I love me some old lady Toph. I also like that Toph says that she’s watching Su & Lin through the swamp, an episode or two later Su and Zaofu are attacked and captured, and when Lin, Opal, and Bolin go to Zaofu to try and rescue, Toph is there. It’s a nice payoff. As Su was getting captured I was thinking “hmmmm does Toph see this” And she does, which has her leave the swamp, so she’s not there when Kuvira’s army is cutting vines. Because cmon is Toph was there she woulda kicked their asses. -The huge mecha suit with the spirit weapon on it is HARROWING. I like that Baatar Jr. see’s that Kuvira was gonna kill him for thE gREatER gOOD and was instantly like “oh shit well i guess my loyalties were wrong then ok” Oh and out of order but I had a feeling that Zhu Li was telling Kuvira what she wanted to hear to be sneaky and I was v happy to be proven right by Toph. I ALSO like that things like Toph being able to tell if people are lying aren’t forgotten about. Also... Cried like a baby at Zhu Li and Varrick’s wedding. Haven’t mentioned Varrick yet but hot damn if he isn’t one of my favorite characters. What I wouldn’t GIVE to have Sokka and Varrick brainstorm some truly crazy shit. 10/10. TL;DR SEASON 3 IS REALLY GOOD AND SEASON 4 IS GOOD BUT FEELS LIKE IT’S TOO SHORT.

But yeah. Overall I really enjoyed it. I looked through the episodes on IMDB and nearly everything is above 8.5 except for some of the first episodes in season 2 which I get. I can tell that this is by the same team that did ATLA. It feels so much the same. And I think there was the right amount of the original peeps or their kids but still was focusing on our core four. Other little things:

- I like that the “villains” or ig the conflicts of people weren’t anyone from the Fire Nation. (Although do we know where Zaheer is from??? Family lineage?) Well regardless, what we have is Amon: Waterbender, Unalaq: Waterbender, Zaheer: Airbender, Kuvira: Earthbender. ATLA we were fighting the fire nation, LOK has the range lol. - I do wish we could have been in the Fire Nation tho. I wanna see what’s it like over there :( - Adored seeing all the changes to the world. In ATLA we see the blimps/airships more or less being invented and then 70 years later AIRSHIPS AND CARS GALORE. And having radios/phones VERY nice. Don’t have to rely on letters or talking in person. - I really like Korra. I feel like it needs to be said lol, but I thoroughly enjoyed her as the Avatar (maybe more than Aang??) - Zuko’s face after Korra says she talked to Iroh in the spirit world I’m not crying you are.

ANYWAY. I think that’s it. I just needed to get it all out somewhere. Not a perfect show (neither is atla) but damn if it isn’t some of the best TV out there. If you read all of that woW good job.

#madebycoffee speaks #not gonna tag this as the show lol #so #non sims #nonsims #also seester i think you would like it

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vanchlo · 5 years ago

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The Assistant / Chapter Twenty Nine, “Strength In Weakness”

Warning! This story contains mentions of: death, cancer, heart attacks, hospitals, funerals, and brief mentions of end of life care.

Find all chapters by clicking here :-)

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Sneakyyyyyy Peeeeeeeeek

Our tears hold silent words of understanding. Understanding that the other is in pain. Pain perhaps we can’t name, but that of which we share. And they hold the comfort found in that understanding. The pain of watching a sick loved one, because why else would he also be here at 9 pm on a Wednesday night? His sniffles fill my ears, with the movie a hum in the background. I feel everything pour into those tears as I clutch the back of his jumper.

The missing him. The regret. The hundreds of emotions because of that stupid ring. The longing for him. The whirlwind of emotions from when he spoke to my class. The sad happiness at seeing him behind me at the vending machine. The relief. The worry about my dad. The fear from the surgeon’s words. All of the stress. The pain I’ve bottled up from being away from him.

“Harry,” I say aloud, almost on accident. My head would’ve said it, anyways.

“Becks,” he whispers, sounding disbelieving with a shake of his head.

“Do you h-have any recommendations then?” I stutter, blinking hard with a mental curse for not even being able to say three words to him before screwing up.

“Uh, tha giant cinnamon roll isn’t too bad, ‘specially when ya microwave it. ‘s very filling, tho. I doubt ya'll be able t’ finish it all,” he answers with a soft shrug.

I pull my battered purple wallet from my brown purse. Finding my card, I swipe it and press the code for the cinnamon roll. The curly wire holding it in place unravels. It falls with a satisfying thud.

“Maybe I’ll have to find somebody to share it with then,” I quip, turning to face him with the cinnamon roll now clutched in my hand. He wasn’t kidding, this thing is big.

“Well, I might just know where a microwave ‘s,” he replies with a smirk. I nod and follow his long legs clad in fitted joggers.

The silence is unsettling and awkward as I follow him down the length of the hallway. I wonder at first if he knows where he’s going, but after about twenty seconds, we arrive in the family room on this floor. Hmm, perhaps he’s been in this hospital longer than he can remember, too. Sofas and chairs surround a tv. Familiar puzzles, magazines, and books occupy the nearby table. The fridge hums and clunks nearby.

“Think there’s anything good on the telly at this time?” I ask nervously, finding a seat on the comfiest sofa around. Fiddling with my hands, I watch him open the bag and place it inside the microwave.

“Prolly not. ‘s prolly a buncha adverts an’ tha like. Maybe a good movie on somewhere,” Harry answers.

I blink hard, and yet the same unbelievable image still surrounds me.

Harry standing with his back to me.

Black joggers hugging his lean legs.

Black trainers.

A gray hoodie donning his upper half.

His curls are short, but maybe a little longer since the last time I saw him in that lecture hall.

He plays with them, but stops when the microwave announces its ends with annoying beeping. It’s hard, but I rip my eyes away from his body and reach to pick up the remote. I see him out of the corner of my eye grabbing plates and utensils. The television screen comes to life in front of me, and sure enough an advert for a special type of pillow fills the screen.

“Christ, not one o’ those my pillow adverts again,” Harry remarks disdainfully as he sits down on the other side of the sofa with a sigh. I toe off my shoes and let them fall to the floor.

Crossing my legs criss-cross applesauce, I giggle and change the channel. “You say that like you know what he’s talking about.”

“Yeah ‘cause I do, tha bloke’s bloody annoying. I can’t sleep some nights an’ ‘ll accidentally leave tha telly on an’ wake up t’ his bleedin’ voice at 3 in tha morning,” he huffs, pulling a laugh from my lips. “Here ya go, but be careful cuz ‘s hot.”

“Thanks.”

“No, thank you. ‘ve been cravin’ one o’ these, but ‘ve been tryna stay away from those bloody vendin’ machines,” he mumbles, tsking his lips as he cuts a piece of the cinnamon roll.

I prop my plate on my lap and surf through the channels before finding the movie, The Shining, on an odd channel. “Oooooo, this is a good one,” I comment before picking up my plastic knife and fork.

“Yeahhhhhhh. Hey, I wouldn’t ‘ave pegged ya fer a King fan,” Harry comments and I shrug before laughing at him. I watch him blow on the huge steaming bite of cinnamon roll. “What, ‘m hungry an’ tha cafe closed hours ago? Plus, dis floor has tha best vendin’ machines.”

“Nothing, I . . . just can’t remember you ever being patient enough to not burn your mouth,” I laugh, and watch one trickle from his lips. “You were always burning your tongue and mouth on those tacos, and gnocchi soups we had. It looks like nothing’s changed.”

“Oh, but tha churros an’ chocolate sauce were even worse. They were always pipin’ hot,” he adds with his mouth full of ooey gooey cinnamon roll. An uncalled for dirty thought pops into my head, making me clench my fist.

I laugh in agreement, making it hard to blow on my bite of cinnamon roll I hold before my lips. After recovering, the chunk of warm pastry melts in my mouth. “Wow, you weren’t kidding, this is good. How is it always that the trashy vending food tastes the best?”

“I dunno, I reckon they put somethin’ innit t’ make it so addictin’. Tha’s how they make so much bloomin’ money,” Harry comments, cutting another bite as he speaks. My eyes are drawn to his hands. Long fingers, speckled with dark brown hairs. And covered with a couple of rings. When my eyes flit to his ring finger, nothing’s there. My heart does a weird somersault in my chest. At the same time, it pushes away the questions forming in my head.

Surprisingly, a comfortable silence surrounds us as we eat. And our eyes are glued to the screen playing the end of the movie. Harry finishes his plate first, surely burning his mouth at some point. I finish soon after and we just sit there, lost in the movie. I can’t help peeking at him a few times, and that naked finger. Thick stubble lines his cheeks. It suits him. And I like it.

I see tiredness pulling at the corners of his eyes when they look back at me. “What?” he says, eyebrows furrowed. I shake my head with blushing embarrassment as the thought still sits there. His lips curl into a smile that grows teasing.

“N-nothing.”

“I don’ believe you,” Harry continues, refusing to let it go. “Ya’ve neva been a good liar, Becks. C’mon, tell me.”

“Fine,” I relent, watching his face brighten at my words. “It’s just odd. I uh, noticed you were wearing a ring on your ring finger when you spoke to my class back in October. But, now you’re not.” the observation tumbles from my mouth, glad to greet the air. Finally, yet awkwardly.

My heart sprints in my chest, afraid to hear what he has to say. Apprehensive to hear the answer that I’ve been searching for. I try to prepare myself for it, but at the same time, something inside of me tries to keep me rational.

“Oh, ya noticed that?” he smiles, earning a nod from me. “Good, that was tha point. Well, not you, jus’ anybody. Tha bloody uni girls always flirt with me when I do those talks. So I wear dis random ring on that finga, hopin’ they’ll back off. It helps, but doesn’t solve tha problem,” Harry explains. His words wash over me like cold shower on a hot day.

I silently release a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding. Then I hear that familiar chuckle of his.

“What, did ya really think I was married, Becks?”

I finally look over at him. His eyes crinkle with a knowing grin. I shove his arm and he only giggles harder. “I don’t know,” I confess quietly, looking away with embarrassment.

I don’t know how I’m going to live this one down.

But soon a laugh is coaxed from my lips to join his. It’s filled with nothing but relief, and happiness. That though had balled up into a knot in the back of my head. Always bothering me at the worst moments. It worried me, even though I knew I didn’t have that privilege anymore.

Any more thoughts that were coursing through my skull about it, are finished by his words. “No, ‘m not bloody married, or engaged. Although I thought I’d be at 28, ‘m not even close,” Harry divulges, a sad laugh framing his words.

My laugh quiets along with his as we enter uncharted waters. I look at him and give him a sympathetic smile. My eyes leave him, but I feel his on me. I wait, wondering if he’s going to say something. After several seconds, I decide to speak.

“Yeah, well-,” I begin, but I stop when his words tread over mine.

“How ‘bout you-,” Harry tries to say, but stops when we both start talking at the same time. Another laugh floats between us, and ends in an uncertain silence.

“Looks like yer better off than me, an’ met a nice bloke at tha uni.” Twirling a silver ring around my pointer finger, his words root me from my spot. My eyes widen at them and then I squint. I try to think of what he means, but it’s hard.

Unexpectedly, I realize what he’s talking about. And I smile because of the alarm shouting in my head.

Wait, what does this mean?!

You know what this means, Becky! Maybe he has fe-

“You mean Simon?” I ask, cutting them off before I go too far.

I really don’t want to go to that place again. We ran into each other at the hospital during a shit day. That’s all.

“Oh ‘s that his name? I dunno, jus’ looked like ya were with someone. Had his arm ‘round ya,” Harry says in a drawl. Now, his eyes are back on the telly. On Jack Nicholson.

And there, the thoughts come again. They click together like puzzle pieces. But I don’t let them lead me away from this moment. From reality.

But, Becky, he lik-!

“No no, Simon . . Simon’s just my friend. We kind of knew each other in high school back in Madley. We were both surprised to see each other in Crim. and we picked up where we left off,” I tell him, peeking a look over at him. But I have a good feeling he’s pulling a Becky and avoiding eye contact. “Plus, Simon has a boyfriend named Dylan.”

“Ohhhhh, my bad,” Harry replies, glancing over at me. When we meet eyes, his crimson face dissolves into giggles.

They’re contagious and bring one forth from my lips. All of a sudden, I can’t stop laughing. And neither can he, it seems. It feels so nice. The laughs keep coming, rolling over each other. Smoothing over the fissure that ring had eroded inside of me. They make me feel less stupid about the whole thing. Instead, they help me to acknowledge the fact that it was just a misunderstanding. And that evidently, they happen to all of us. I try not to read into it any more than that as our laughs die down. I won’t let myself. A comfortable silence fills the space our laughs previously did.

A scene from the movie catches our attention, and the misunderstandings are seemingly forgotten. I really get into the movie for the next 10 minutes, and I think so does he. I can barely tear my eyes away. But they leave the telly when he pulls his phone from his pocket. I watch his face turn from calm to upset when he reads something. On the other side of the couch, he types something back quickly. But I see the tears soon pricking at the corners of his eyes as he holds his forehead.

I don’t know what to say as I look away, trying to give him privacy. But then I hear him sniffle and try to clear his throat. I know how that goes, and that it doesn’t work. It doesn’t make the lump in your throat go away. He sighs and when I chance another look, he’s looking away from me. But I hear the crying. Suddenly, I feel my heart break, even more than it already has today.

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m scooching over to sit next to him. Seeing his left hand sitting on his knee, I pick it up and lace my fingers with his. I give it a squeeze and return my eyes to the telly. And wait. A familiar scene unfolds in front of me on the screen. I don’t even grimace at the blood like I did when I was a child. I take comfort in the nostalgia tied to this movie for me. But it doesn’t drown out the sounds of Harry crying. And the pain I feel at not being able to help him.

After a few more minutes of watching the movie, no words pass between us. But then I think to check on him again. As I do, he looks over at me with red eyes. Wet from spent tears that keep coming. A shy smile inches up his lips, but it’s an embarrassed one. And so it doesn’t last long.

“You’re gonna make me cry,” is all I say, because the tears are already bleeding into my words. We pull the other into our arms where we go to cry on their shoulder.

The missing him.

The regret.

The hundreds of emotions because of that stupid ring.

The longing for him.

The whirlwind of emotions from when he spoke to my class.

The sad happiness at seeing him behind me at the vending machine.

The relief.

The worry about my dad.

The fear from the surgeon’s words.

All of the stress.

The pain I’ve bottled up from being away from him.

Fistfuls of my hoodie are balled up in his hands. His prickly face is hidden in my neck where he spends his tears. I long to lose my fingers in his familiar hair to comfort him. But I know that I’m already doing that as we share each other’s pain. His clean scent fills my nose as I breathe shakily against his shoulder.

“‘s my granddad, Becks,” he chokes out, coughing. “H-he hadda heart attack this afternoon. Dunno if he’ll make it. He’s onna ventilator with machines keeping him alive. I neva wanted t’ see him like that. An’ tha thing ‘s, he has in his last wishes t’ not live like that . . . A-and now my family’s askin’ me if I wanna be there when he passes,” his words stop, making my heart grow heavy with each one.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. That should never be a decision you have to make,” I tell him in raggedy breaths. “It’s so awful watching somebody die. Not even just in the moment, but after. When my granddad passed, right when I started working for you, I was there when it happened. And it still haunts me to this day. My mum forced me to be there, and I think I wished I hadn’t. It was terrible watching him gasp for air, and not knowing when would be his last breath. But at the same time, I’m glad he wasn’t alone. I don’t know, it’s a hard decision to make. But you need to make that decision for you and what you want, Harry. Not what your family wants.”

He nods into my neck, humming an ‘mmmmhmm.’ “Do you need to decide now?” I ask, words still coated in tears.

“No, I don’ think so. But he had surgery a few hours ago an’ tha doctors are sayin’ it doesn’ look like he’ll wake up,” Harry confesses, words dissolving into more tears.

I hold him tighter against me and cry with him. My tears come from the fear of losing my dad. Remembering being in the same seat as Harry when my granddad passed. And I cry for Harry and the nightmare he’s going through.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” is all I can say.

I listen to his heavy sobs that make his body shake. Pressing my lips together hard, I shed tears into his hoodie. I feel like I can hardly catch my breath. It only becomes worse when I hear the next words that leave his lips.

“Is yer dad okay, Becks?” he asks, trying to breathe in. But I can tell it’s hard by the shakiness of his words.

“I don’t know,” I sob, my words almost incoherent. He nods into my neck, rubbing a hand up and down my back. “He had surgery to remove the tumor. B-But it took longer than they said it would. And then the surgeon said they don’t know if they got it all. Which means he for sure has to have more chemo. And I’m just so scared. I don’t want my dad to have cancer anymore.”

“‘m really sorry, Becks,” Harry coughs in between tears, his hand rubbing in circles. Uneven breaths leave his lips as choked sobs leave mine. The tears follow one after the other. Ugly sounds follow.

I can’t find the strength to speak again, and so I nod. My arms shake clutching at his sweatshirt. My white-knuckled hands relax and I fall into him. All of my inhibitions and self-made promises are out the window. I told myself I wouldn’t let him in again, and here I am. And I’m glad I broke that promise. Long, broken sobs are muffled into his shoulder. His hands move in circles on my back as my mind finally entertains all of the possibilities.

My dad’s cancer not being cured.

My dad needing even more chemotherapy.

Maybe even radiation.

None of that working.

Everything being the same between Harry and I after this.

And how much that hurts me. All of it.

Talking to my dad about his last wishes.

Watching him take his last breath.

I let Harry hold me as I let myself feel every single raw feeling. Sobs rack my body and make it shake as a steady stream of tears paints my cheeks. I hear his too, and they only make me cry harder.

Wiping my nose with a kleenex, I watch him surf through the channels. Finally, he settles on an old episode of Scooby Doo, Where Are You? The daunting figure of the Wax Phantom materializes in the museum. I lift my head and readjust where it rests on Harry’s shoulder. Before my eyes, the monster trudges around the wax museum. My eyelids grow heavy, but I blink hard trying to wake up. This happens again and again, with my eyelids slowly growing heavier.

But it’s no use. After too many times, I can’t resist succumbing to sleep with my head on Harry’s shoulder and his arm rubbing mine.

I wake up on the surface of the scratchy sofa. The telly is playing an advert softly in the background. Rubbing my eyes crusted with sleep, I groan. With a tired sigh, I try to fall back asleep. I almost begin to, but a thought steals the sleep away. Pulling myself up to sit, I look around with fuzzy eyes.

I’m all alone.

Two blue hospital blankets have fallen to lay at my feet.

And two white pillows sit ignored in front of me.

Checking my phone, I see the time is 3:24 am. And that I have missed calls and texts from several people.

Robbie.

My aunt.

My grandma.

My mother.

And 2 texts from Harry.

Ignoring all of the others, I quickly open Harry’s from 16 minutes ago.

i’m sorry. had 2 go. didn’t wanna wake u. thank u for being there 2night, so much

And there’s another one that came a few minutes later.

im so proud of u becks. u know why

My heart skips when I read his words, and the heart emoji that finishes them like a period. I’m guessing he means the stuff going on with my dad, but more so for going back to law school. It makes my heart swell with happiness. But it beats fast at the sight of them as well, suddenly worrying what happened that he had to leave. And in that same moment, I feel heavy with worry about him. My thumbs dart across the screen, composing a hurried and sleepy reply.

It’s okay I understand. I hope everything is okay. Remember to do what’s best for you. Please let me know if I can help. You’re so welcome Harry and I can’t thank you enough too. And thank you so much. I really want to make you proud. Thinking of you

I don’t bother to read over my words finished with a heart emoji tool. I send the text, and try to go back to sleep. Because I can’t think about everything that happened tonight.

My dad.

Seeing Harry, and sharing what we did.

And him . . leaving.

The sickening worry it fills me to wonder the reason why.

Because now it’s like it never happened.

Luckily, the second my head hits the pillow, I’m asleep again.

I can’t stop looking. I hardly believe what I see, but I know I have to. A stranger stares back at me. Sullen eyes. Shaven cheeks for the first time in weeks. Styled hair. Dry eyes that stare back at me blankly. And a mouth that feels like it hasn’t smiled in months. But I know it hasn’t been that long. But this nightmare feels like it.

“Shit,” I mutter, bending down to pick up the violet tie that fell to the floor. Black wildflowers scatter the fabric. It seemed perfect for the occasion when I picked it out yesterday. But now I’m not sure anymore.

I wrap it around my neck again, for the second or third time. Going through the motions to tie it, I get a little farther than last time. Then my fingers stop, like they keep doing. Huffing, I step back and lean against the wall. I feel the chapped surface of my bottom lip come between my teeth. Oh yeah, I gotta remember to bring chapstick too, I add to my seemingly never ending list.

My thoughts are interrupted by the clanging sound of my postbox outside. Within a few seconds, I’ve opened my door and see my postman walking onto the next house. A stack of letters is what I find waiting for me.

“Great, mo’ sympathy cards an’ bills,” I groan, dropping the mail on the table beside the door. With plans to finally get this damn tie tied, I look back to the mirror above the table. But something catches my eye.

The letters have splayed themselves out sloppily on the brown table. Most of them are white, but one of them isn’t. One is a soft blue. Once again, the words inside of my head are stolen away by a sound. Fishing out my phone from the pocket of my slacks, I answer it.

“Ya, I know. ‘m gonna leave soon, ‘s not like ‘m late or anythin’,” I respond, sifting through the letters. Bill after bill meets my eyes. “I was there all bloody night last night fer tha wake, so why do I need t’ be early t’day?” Tossing the bills to the side, I keep sifting through them.

“I know, alright? But I . . I jus’ can’t alright? I can’t do all tha huggin’ e’rybody right now, ‘m sick of it. There’s plenty mo’ family ‘round who can do it,” I tell them through gritted teeth. The powder blue card is next in my hands. My voice catches when my brain conjures the owner of that bubbly handwriting. “I’ll be there at 2:30 an’ no earlier,” I rush, hanging up on them. Stuffing my phone away again, I instead pick up the envelope.

Within seconds, I pull the card out from the sea of blue. Wildflowers decorate the front along with words card companies think are comforting. All of the other ones have hardly been that, but these ones are closer than before. Just seeing her handwriting peeking at me from the inside is more comforting than all of the others combined. I feel the tears pressing at the back of my eyes, ready to fall at command.

With a deep breath, I’m greeted by her bubbly letters in purple ink. I can’t say I’m surprised, it’s her favorite color.

Harry, It took me twenty minutes to pick out a card, because none of them seemed good enough. None of them said the right words that I wanted to say, so I finally just picked this one. Even if I looked for 3 hours, I don’t know if I would’ve found the “right” one... I hope it’s okay. I saw your granddad’s obituary in the paper today. I don’t even think the words ‘I’m sorry’ are close to what I feel for you and want to say, Harry. They weren’t the right words when my granddad passed. They were what everybody said, and after a while, I hated hearing them. They became redundant and meaningless. But I am sorry, Harry. I’m sorry that you lost your grandfather, and the unimaginable pain you’re going through missing him and trying to live a life that he’s no longer a part of. I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. Some days it seems it gets easier. But other days are hard, I’ve learned. They’re the anniversaries, birthdays, days they enjoyed, family get togethers, or really any day that ugly grief decides to return. We all handle grief differently and so it’s hard to give advice. But take care of yourself. Please, Harry. If that means staying at home watching Netflix, or distracting yourself with work, that’s okay. It’s your pain, it belongs to you. It’s okay to handle the pain however you decide to, but please take care. You don’t have to visit his grave. You don’t have to talk about him again if you don’t want to. You don’t even have to cry if that’s not you. Or you can cry all of the time, or you can talk about him all of the time, too. But you do have to feel the pain, as terrible as it is. I never really found anything that helped, but I like to remember my granddad sometimes by doing things he loved. I go fishing on opening day with Robbie, I stuck one of those suctioned bird feeder on one of our windows, I make or buy a vanilla cupcake on his birthday and sing happy birthday to him, sometimes I visit his grave and bring things he likes but I know I don’t have to go there to talk to him. I know that I don’t have to do those things to make it feel like he’s with me, because he always is. I’m sorry that this card is all about me, but I hope that my words help. Even just a little bit. Please know that I’m thinking of you, and your family. I know what you’re going through, and how hard it is. I’m not going to say ‘things will be okay,’ because I know that’s the opposite of how things feel right now and for the near future. I know how much it hurts. I know that by the time you get this card, the funeral is any day now. That was one of the hardest parts for me, and it made it all the more surreal. I’m sending you so much strength and love, Harry. If there's anything I can do to help, please know I’m here for you. Love, Becks xoxoxo

The first laugh I’ve spent in days greets the air. But it’s ironic and surprising, I’m not sure. Only a few seconds later, tears accompany it. Soon, my phone is back in my hand where I banished it from minutes ago. And my ass is sitting on the bottom of my staircase. And I’m dialing the number I’ve been itching to for the last week.

They answer on the third thing.

My aching heart is soothed with the sound of their voice. Like the drought welcoming the rain.

“Hi,” I say slowly, my words sodden with tears.

“Hi, Harry,” she replies, sounding surprised. But her voice brings me comfort, the most I’ve felt in the last 8 days. It’s loud where she is, but in a couple of seconds, it isn’t anymore.

“I got yer card, I uh jus’ read it. It was so sweet, Becks. I don’ think ‘thank you’ could begin t’ cover it,” I tell her slowly, uncertain what to say. I watch my feet grow blurry in front of me, and then refocus when another warm tear hits my cheek.

“I’m glad you got it. You don’t have to thank me. W-what are you doing?” she asks, taking time with her words.

“Tryin’ t’ get meself t’ put onna bloody tie. Ya know, me granddad tried t’ teach me once. But he gave up an’ admitted me gran’ always did it fer him,” I confess, the words falling out fast.

An amused hum comes from her. “That’s funny. My granddad always bragged about being able to tie ties blindfolded, or something. He tried to teach Robbie, but it never stuck. It just ended in tears and yelling,” she comments.

A smile warms on my lips, and I nod. To who, I don’t know, since she certainly can’t see me doing it. Regrettably.

“It’s today, isn’t it?” she guesses softly, earning a confirming ‘mmmhm’ from me.

“I’m wearin’ all black. Seems like too much of tha color, but I couldn’ bear t’ look at anythin’ else in me wardrobe.”

“As long as you’re comfortable, Harry, and black isn’t such a bad color. It fits the emotion, I guess you could say,” Becky says. I sniffle and wish her voice didn’t stop playing in my ear.

“Yer right . . . ,” I agree aloud, not knowing what to say next. I hate this part. “I didn’ stay that night I saw you. I . . . thought I could do it, but I couldn’. I drove ‘round an’ cried, feelin’ all sorts o’ terrible. Terrible fer not bein’ there with him. Terrible as I waited fer tha text that he was gone. Even more so when I got tha text . . . An’ terrible ‘cause it didn’ really feel much different aftawards.”

“That’s okay. Grief doesn’t really follow any rules, Harry. And it certainly doesn’t make any sense. It never feels right. I’m so sory,” Becky tells me, somehow making sense of something I can’t even begin to make sense of.

“Ya ‘ave all tha right words t’ say,” I smile with a laugh that’s out of place, yet sad. My lips quiver as the tears run over them.

“I doubt it, but I hope that means they’re helping in some capacity.”

“Ya always help, Becks,” I divulge quietly, unsure if she heard me or not.

“Can you tell me what he was like?” Becky inquires.

“Ya. He was um, wicked tall. Told tha best stories, but like ya neva knew how much truth there was t’ ‘em. He made tha best grilled cheese, an’ somehow always with bread he made himself. He had this laugh that I loved. It surrounded a room when ya heard it. He always smelled o’ peppermint gum. He was always whistlin’, or singin’ Sinatra songs t’ himself. He made tha best popcorn on tha stovetop, an’ e’ry time I was ova. He taught me so much an’ turned me onto so many things that I love. He’s so much of who I am, an’ I dunno how t’ let him go now.” The memories turn into words, coming easier the further I go. A warmth accompanies them as they pass through. But they’re hard to get out, as the bittersweetness drowns them in my mouth.

“You don’t have to let him go, Harry,” she disagrees.

“B-but he’s dead,” I cry, feeling my body relinquish control to the sobs.

“But that doesn’t mean that you have to forget him like that. He’s still your granddad. You can still enjoy those memories of him. You can be happy he’s not in pain anymore without feeling guilty. You can still hold him in your heart. You can be mad at the world. You can be broken. There’s no right or wrong answer, Harry. It doesn’t feel that way, I know, but however you feel in the moment is okay. It’s okay to feel that way.” her words feel like a warm blanket coming over me after a bad day. They wrap me up in their syllables and hold me together, while I can’t.

I can hardly get out the words ‘thank you’ without my intermittent sobs covering them up.

“Of course,” is all she says. In her voice sweet as clover honey.

Radio silence follows her requital with my occasional whimpers punctuating my tears. This continues for a few minutes, but it’s not awkward. I feel comfort just from knowing that she’s there. But a thought edges its way in, ruining that contentment.

The ticking of the clock peaks my interest suddenly. More time has passed than I thought it had. “I uh should prolly get goin’ soon if I wanna make it on time, so me family doesn’t have a row,” I suddenly say.

“Yeah yeah, of course. Um, drive safe and, I hope everything goes well. You can text me if you want. I’m just, at work,” Becky replies fast, her words stalling at parts. I hear the nerves wired in her buttery voice.

“Thanks, love. I’ll rememba. But uh get back t’ work, kay?” I quip, feeling memories between us seep into my words.

“Yes, sir,” she replies, following along. I welcome it with the smallest of laughs.

“Good,” I exhale, unsure of how to end the call. And unsure if I even want to. Because this was nice, albeit the circumstances marked by hundreds of tears. It was nice to hear her voice, although I know I’ll miss it in a minute. That thought begins a new ache inside of my chest. “I’ll let ya go then. Have a good weekend, an’ take care, Becks.”

“You too, Harry. Thanks for calling,” she says, and I hear it in her voice. The shared uncertainty and nervousness. The awkwardness often there at the end of a phone call.

“And thanks fer pickin’ up, Becks.”

“Bye, Harry,” she almost whispers.

It takes every ounce of strength I have residing in me to echo her words, “G’bye, Becks.”

With every second that passes absent of her voice, the thought grows louder. It’s no longer ignorable. But I don’t let it take hold of me as I’m watching myself in the mirror. Wrapping the tie around my neck, and going through the motions. Tightening it around my neck as the tears begin to dry on my face. Then as I compose a text with forgotten words.

i hope ur dad is doing better. thx for being there becks xxx

The timer on my phone begins to buzz as I shut off the entryway light. Sitting on the steps once more with my shoes in hand, I acknowledge it. The thought that’s been tinkering away in my brain. Gaining speed.

It wasn’t enough talking to her on the phone. I wanted her here with me, again. I wanted to hide in her arms. Her scent of oranges and cloves blanketing me. Her words falling over me like snow, but without a phone separating us. I want her here with me.

I feel my heart lurch deep down as I grab hold of the door handle. The unspoken words settle with me as I attempt to find the strength to leave. Somewhere I find it, buried in the words she spoke into me mere moments ago.

Because that’s all I have, even if I don’t really have her.

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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 5 years ago

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Mötley Crüe Christmas Imagines

A/N: Guess who decided to post a Christmas fic when Christmas is over? Me! ( I just hope they don’t suck, lol)

Vince

“I can’t believe you did all this, for me!” You said as soon as entering your house.

Every Christmas decoration was already set up: the Christmas tree looked beautiful with all the colorful lights and the golden balls. Also a wonderful breakfast was placed on the kitchen table. Your boyfriend Vince shrugged his shoulder ( like it was not that big of a deal), then he smiled, not with his usual charming smirk but with a genuine smile.

“Well I know that you’d be tired from your night shift, and well Christmas is a stressful period, so I wanted to help !” He said opening his arms, waiting for you to come.

It’d always blow your mind how the Vince you knew was so different from the one that the rest of the world was used to know. He was kind, generous and sweet, other than like a sex machine; surely you two weren’t saints, but he could be also romantic. Many people didn’t get that, and that’s why a first they tried to convince you to not date him, but you were glad that you didn’t listen to them, you ended up with the sweetest boyfriend ever.

You crashed in his arms and he picked you up, bridal style, then he placed you on the couch. You two kissed passionately but, when you tried to spice things up, you noticed two mugs of hot chocolate; you started to smile widely since you loved drinking white hot chocolate at Christmas.

“How do you know that I loved white chocolate specifically?”

“Well… your mother could have told me that the last time we visited your parents.”

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world !” You affirmed happily.

“Well my love, I think we should eat something and then you go right to sleep !” He stated serious.

“But it’s Christmas Eve !” You protested like a baby.

“Yeah and I need you to be awake tonight for opening your present !”

“ You mean my presents.”

“Yep those, too !” He said with a malicious smirk.

You punched him playfully then you went to grab the trays on the table and bring them in the living room. Vince already put the TV on a stupid Christmas movie, while you went to his side and you two started cuddling.

When you turned your gaze towards the window, you noticed that everything was white. Was it really snowing or you were just dreaming?

“Vinnie, it’s snowing outside !” You said excited as a little baby.

“Well we better go to see it, then!” He replied and picked you up, walking towards the door. You tried to fight while laughing, but his grip was strong.

When he arrived in front of it, he simply stopped, turned you to face him and place a soft kiss on your lips.

“Later we will do a snow balls battle. If you win, you can make me do whatever you want for the night, if I do, I decide!” You decided.

“If you want to do dirty things to me, you can just ask.” He replied with a malicious smirk.

“ Nice try baby, but I really want to see that film, now!”

Both of you sat on the couch again, Vince embraced sweetly while he played softly with your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling.

Everything seemed so perfect, almost a Christmas miracle.

Nikki

You opened your eyes, your heart still pounding in your chest as you went to turn at the other side of the bed. There was nobody.

You started panicking, rushing to the kitchen as soon as you could. Today was Christmas, and you were well aware what happened one year ago to this very day : your boyfriend Nikki overdosed, died and was brought back to life; also you had just dreamed about losing him again, waking up only to find and empty bed and it seemed like your nightmare had become reality.

But as soon as you entered into the kitchen, you could hear some soft noises. Nikki was kneeled on the floor, searching into some cupboards something that you didn’t know for sure.

“A-Are you okay Nik?” You asked worried, and your boyfriend turned in your direction. He had to see the concern written on your face, because he rushed to your side, crushing you in a hug.

“Is there something wrong, babe?”

"I-It's s-silly don't worry about it!" You dismissed it.

You didn't want to admit that you were scared to lose him again. It was supposed to be an happy day and you didn't want to bring the mood down.

"Nothing about you is silly, you can talk to me !"

"I- I woke up and you weren't there. S-So I-I thought that you were gone, again. Like last year." You whispered the last part, too scared that if you said that out loud, it'd be reality.

Nikki pulled you to him even tightly, as he started to whisper sweet nothing into your ears.

"I'm so sorry honey ! I woke up early and I wanted to surprise you but I couldn't find a thing. I didn't mean to scare you !" He said sadly, as he started to rub some circles on your back to calm you down.

"It's okay Nikki! You're so thoughtful. It was just a stupid fear, you are here now!" You said like it was still hard to believe it.

"I'm so sorry to have put you in so much pain. Wanna set up the last decoration while I cook some eggnog and we play some dumb board games?"

You nodded weekly than started to heading towards some boxes put in a corner : you could see a mistletoe, a little hanging Santa and a picture with written :" Merry Fucking Christmas"

You laughed a bit and put them as quickly as you could; then you rushed into the kitchen and hugged koala style your boyfriend.

“Here's your eggnog, my love!"

"You're my best present ever. I don't what to think what I'd have done if I had lost you that night!"

"But you didn't and now I'm too grateful for this second chance to waste it. And you won't get rid of me that easily, this time!" Nikki kissed you with so much love, then you two sat on the kitchen's counter, drinking you eggnog and enjoying each other's company.

Nikki was there and he was okay. And that was what mattered.

Tommy

You were well aware that Tommy was a child, but you never thought that he’d asked you to buy him a kid’s toy.

“Tommy, you’re an adult, do you understand it?” You said exasperated.

“C’mon baby, I want it and it’s Christmas !” He protested, whining.

“It’s a little robot! I doubt you’ll play with it much with the tour and all of that.”

“ Sweet pie I promise you that I’ll use it. And it’s a bomb ass robot, who cares if it’s meant for children ! I’m a kid at heart.” He tried to convince you again.

“First of all don’t “sweet pie” me. Then I can guarantee you that you won’t use it and either I have to play with it or it’ll rust in a corner. Even worse, you can just break him in two days, because you are were drunk!” You were not angry, and Tommy knew it, but also you tried to be the adult of the situation ( failing a bit).

“Yeah whatever, now I have to go to rehearsal. I guess I’ll come home and I’ll be sad and disappointed, at Christmas, the most joyful time of the year !” He said dramatically, hoping to convince you (and damn it was working); then he simply left you there in the store, your eyes fixed on the robot.

You rational part was trying to convince you that it was a stupid and quite useless idea, but your heart was totally crazy for that childish drummer, so you sighed in defeat and decided to buy it. Even if you surrender at the idea to gave the toy to Tommy as his Christmas present, you wanted to prank him a bit, so you decided also to buy an ugly Christmas sweater.

When you heard Tommy entering through the door, you had been in the house for 10 minutes already so you put your present under the tree and went to put up the last decorations.

“How did rehearsal go?” You asked smiling.

“Good, my love. This album will be so awesome !” Then he turned his gaze to the Christmas tree. "Is it my gift?" He said pointing something under the tree.

"Yup! You can open it now if you want to." You said nonchalantly.

He bolted towards his present, excited as a kid, and opened it : his happy face turned into a disappointed one, pretty soon. He totally had to see the sweater.

“I-It’s r-really b-beautiful, my love.” He said, trying to be as polite as possible. You wanted to play along for a bit more but you couldn’t keep your laughter any longer.

“I’m so sorry love, but the look on your face is too funny! I couldn’t resist it! The real gift is behind the tree.” You admitted, continuing to laughing, your cheeks becoming red as a tomato.

Tommy flipped you off, then he went to grab the mysterious hidden box. If he wanted to be pissed off with you, as soon as he saw the robot, he totally changed his attitude and a wide smile appeared on his face.

“ Thank you, Y/N ! Dude, it’s awesome I thought you didn’t want to buy it !”

“Well, I guess that I’m that of a sucker for you !” You answered back, your heart full of joy because of your boyfriend’s happy face. Tommy hugged you so tight that you almost suffocated, then he lifted you and made you spin.

“I love you so much Y/N!”

“I love you too Tommy. Only you could make me buy a children’s toy as a grown man’s Christmas present.

Mick

“Wow, you really went overboard with decorations, didn’t you?” Your boyfriend Mick said, raising an eyebrow as he was looking in the chart. You two were at the mall, trying to find the last Christmas decoration to put into your house.

“This is what people do at Christmas, Mick !” You said, rolling your eyes.

You were not a holidays fanatic, but also you really enjoyed being in the festivity mood. On the other hand, Mick was really not that into Christmas and just found all the decoration, the presents and the big amount of food, totally excessive and unnecessary.

“Then people should calm the fuck down!”

You looked at him with a fake pouty face. You were a bit upset by Mick’s attitude, but you also know that his grumpy façade would eventually fall off, with some puppy eyes and sweet kisses; and you also love him for his being an “old man”, even tho you were just two years younger than him.

“You totally upset me now! You just ruined Christmas !” You said dramatically, trying to get a bit on his nerves.

“C’mon Y/N don’t be that dramatic! I admit that there are not that many decorations. For a Christmas addict.” He stated, smirking.

“What did you just say?” You replied horrified.

“Well we can’t deny that!”

“ Okay old man, now I AM going to buy some more decoration, while you buy some like Halloween stuff or I don’t know!” You tried to sound angry.

In reality you were a bit disappointed with his behavior, because Christmas has always been that time of the year where you could feel like a child again, trying to forget all the responsibilities of an adult and just enjoy silly Holidays music and decorations. But also you knew that he didn’t really mean it, and that you should be upset, he just do that. You know the real Mick, the sweet and caring one that he only showed to you; maybe you should just wait to let things cool down and then come back and explain your reasons.

You decided to do it, and after five minutes and two new Christmas balls ( they were too cute, not to be bought) you reach your boyfriend looking at some random trees. As soon as he saw you, he pull out a fake mistletoe and raise it on both of your heads.

“What’s happening?” You asked, confused.

“ Usually people kiss under this thing.” He replied unfazed.

“Is this a subtle way for asking for a kiss?” You said, with a laugh.

“It’s a way to say that maybe you’re not that much of a Christmas addict. And maybe that I should just be less angry about it.”

“Aww, it’s okay. I kinda love when you act like the Grinch; but I think I also should just told you that Christmas means much to me, and not act like an offended baby. Now we should really kiss under this mistletoe!”

You two shared a softy and quick kiss, not wanting to show off in public.

“ I think it’s better if we go home to put this decorations up!” You said, a bit excited.

“At Halloween I’m going to choose what to put up in our house.” He decided with a serious tone.

“Yes sir.” You declared, playfully.

#Motley Crue #motley crue fanfic #christmas fanfic #imagines #Vince Neil #nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #mick mars #80srock #80s rock band #fanfic #vince neil x reader #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #mick mars x reader

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highfivecalum · 5 years ago

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Cynosure {Best Friends Brother!CH}

a/n: okay so i don’t really know what this is tbh i kind of got lost towards the end and just ..... lost sight of what i actually wanted to write but! i hope you still enjoy 13k words of best friends brother!cal even tho it’s kind of all over the place and if it flops we’ll just pretend it didn’t happen thanks!! happy reading :)))

Cynosure: something that strongly attracts attention and admiration

Summary: Shy Elena gets more than she bargains for when her best friends cocky brother moves in with her.

“Sorry I’m late.” Elena slid into the booth that Mali was sitting in, a glass of wine in front of her and one on the table across from her that she ordered for Elena, knowing that she would be late. She wasn’t the most punctual of people, that was one of her many flaws.

“I’m used to it by now.” Mali chuckled and closed the menu she had been looking at for the ten minutes she waited for Elena to arrive. They were meeting for their weekly Friday night dinner and it was Mali’s turn to pick the restaurant. It wasn’t like they didn’t see each other almost every other day, but they enjoyed sitting down in a nice restaurant and getting to hang out just the two of them, without their other friends.

“Ha-ha.” Elena rolled her eyes and sipped her wine. They chatted for a little while, talking about their days, until their server came back to take their food orders. And as they waited, Mali finally cleared her throat and changed the subject to what she originally wanted to talk to Elena about.

“So,” Mali cleared her throat nervously, looking at her younger friend, and Elena could tell instantly that her best friend was nervous about something. Cocking an eyebrow, Elena put down her glass of wine and waved her hand, urging her to speak. “Calum, you know my brother, is moving back here.”

“Oh? Why don’t you sound more excited?” Elena knew that Mali and her brother were close, the best of friends even, and she had heard so much about him and seen pictures of the handsome man Mali that called her brother, but she had never met him in person. She wasn’t sure why Mali didn’t sound excited about the news of her brother moving back to New York from California.

“I am excited! Trust me - I am, it’s just, he needs a place to stay until he gets a job and enough money to get his own place and get up on his feet and… I know that you have an extra bedroom that nobody is using, so I was wondering if he could stay with you?” Mali’s voice was high pitched at the end, full of hopefulness and wishing.

“Oh, uh, well why can’t he stay with you?” Elena wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of Mali’s brother staying with her, she was just a little hesitant because she had never met him before and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to live with such an attractive man, especially since it was her best friends brother, without feeling uneasy about it. And, to say she was shy and awkward around attractive men, and really anybody she didn’t know, was an understatement.

“He and Marco don’t get along. Remember?” Marco, Mali’s boyfriend, wasn’t a big fan of Calum and vise versa. Elena nodded her head knowingly, having forgotten about the story Mali told her of Calum and Marco getting into a physical fight a few years back, and never resolving it. “Please, Elena? He really needs a place to stay and I wouldn’t ask you if he didn’t need it. You know that. He hates when I do things for him.” Mali batted her eyes and jutted out her lower lip. “And he’s so quiet! You won’t even know he’s there.”

Elena gnawed on her lower lip, deep in thought as she decided what to do. Even if she really wanted to, even if she was totally and completely opposed to it, Elena really couldn’t say no to Mali. Her best friend needed her help and Mali had helped Elena out before when she needed it, so she owed her one, and she wasn’t going to let her best friends brother be homeless. If Elena was Calum’s only option - she was going to help him.

“Please, El?” Mali clasped her hands together, dragging out her words as she watched Elena, chew on her lower lip in thought. “I know you’re shy and I know you’ll feel weird at first since you don’t know him, but Cal is great, really! And I’ll forever be in your debt.”

Exhaling a heavy sigh, Elena nodded her head. “Alright, fine.” She finally spoke and Mali’s face lit up, clapping her hands and cheering. Elena was happy to help, she really was, but she wasn’t sure what would come of it.

***

“Hello?” Mali called out excitedly, letting herself in Elena’s house like she had done so many times before, motioning for Calum to follow her. He did so, hesitantly, and adjusted the bags he was holding. He didn’t have a lot, just two big duffel bags full of clothes, and a guitar or two in the car outside of Elena’s house in her driveway. “Elena! Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” Elena called out, licking her finger clean of brownie batter that was on it. She looked up at the sound of Mali’s high heels clicking against her wooden floors and smiled at her best friend. Her smile just barely falling when she saw Calum enter the kitchen behind Mali. God, he was so much hotter in person than in pictures.

It’s not like Elena had forgotten that Calum was going to be moving in that day, if anything, she really couldn’t stop thinking about it. She was nervous, to say the least, but seeing him in person made it reality.

“Cal, this is Elena, my best friend. El, this is Calum, my brother, obviously.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Elena smiled genuinely, but nervously, at the man in her kitchen, that was now also his kitchen, and let her eyes trail up and down his body as he looked around. He was gorgeous, that much was obvious. In a pair of navy and green plaid pants and a plain black t-shirt, his beauty was effortless.

“Yeah, you too, Elena.” Calum nodded his head and she gulped at how easy her named rolled off of his tongue, how appealing her name sounded coming out of his mouth. His smile, just barely there, was already making Elena’s stomach churn. She couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad thing. “Heard a lot about you.”

“All good things I hope.” Elena laughed, looking at Mali who just shrugged innocently.

“Can’t promise you that,” Calum chuckled and winked at her, successfully making her pale freckled covered cheeks heat up. She looked away from him, hoping that he hadn't noticed her blushing, and turned around to put the brownies she made in the oven. “So,” Calum clapped his hands together. “Where am I sleepin’?”

“Do you want to show him, Mali?” Elena asked in hopes that her best friend would do the honors and she wasn’t stuck being an awkward mess around him.

“I’ve actually got to run now.” Mali checked the time on her watch and started walking backwards to the door. She looked between her brother and best friend and grinned, holding two thumbs up. She felt bad that she couldn’t stay any longer to be an ice breaker, but duty calls, and she was already late to work. “Have fun, you two!”

Suddenly, Elena felt even more insanely awkward and anxious. Being alone with Calum and just having met him had Elena not knowing how to act around the attractive man. She was in the comfort of her own home, and she was going to be living with him, and it’s not like he was a total and complete stranger, so why the hell was she so anxious?

“I, uh, I’ll- I guess I’ll give you the grand tour.” Elena laughed nervously and wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans. She showed him around the average sized house, the basement, the backyard that had a pool and a nice porch that Elena loved, the bathroom that he would be using, and finally, his bedroom. “It’s, um, it’s kind of small. Sorry about that.”

“No worries. I’m just glad you’re lettin’ me stay with you.” Calum smiled down at her and entered the room completely, dropping his bags down by the queen sized bed and looked around. Elena was right, it was a small room with a dresser across from the bed and a TV on top of it, a small closet next to that, and a good sized window next to the bed that had access to the roof. “You’re really savin’ my ass, Elena.”

“It’s no problem,” Elena waved her hand dismissively. “I’m glad I can help, you and Mali. I’ll let you, uh, get settled. Make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa.”

Elena smiled once more before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her, resting her back against it and letting out a deep sigh. Mi casa es su casa? Since when did she speak Spanish?

Some of her anxiousness had subsided, just barely, but she still wasn’t fully calm, and she knew that if she was going to comfortably live with Calum, her best friends annoyingly hot brother, she needed to get her shit together. Fast.

***

“So, are there any house rules I should know about?” Calum spoke as he jumped up on the counter in the kitchen. Elena was sitting at the table in the corner of the kitchen and dining room that were combined, eating her Cap’n Crunch.

“House rules?” Elena cocked an eyebrow and dropped her spoon in her bowl that was now only filled with milk. She wasn’t a huge fan of milk, but refused to eat cereal plain. Getting up to pour out the milk and put her dish in the sink, Elena had to reach around Calum, who was strategically in the way of the sink. Her arm rubbing against the side of his thigh just slightly.

Her hand just barely grazed his leg, but she felt an electric shock and a fire from his leg against her hand. It was crazy, really, the effect he had on her. She had slept with a handful of men, all rather attractive, but she hadn’t ever found them as attractive as she did with Calum. He had barely even touched her and she was a blushing nervous wreck. She hated it.

“Yeah, you know, like am I not allowed to eat your cereal, or drink milk out of the carton, or like, bring home girls?” Calum asked as he chewed the leftover brownies that Elena had made for him as a welcome home gesture. He appreciated it, and her, for letting him stay with her. And she appreciated him being polite and asking what she did and didn’t like in her own house.

Elena laughed quietly and shook her head. “I’m not really big on rules. I don’t care if you bring home any girls, just be quiet, if you do.” Elena couldn’t think of anything else, really. She didn’t mind if he ate her cereal or drank milk out of the carton, even though that was kind of gross. “And just don’t smoke in the house, okay? That’s my only rule, really.”

Calum wasn’t sure how she knew that he smoked, he guessed that Mali mentioned it before he moved in, but he didn’t care how she knew or that she did, it would have come up one way or another with them living together, but he was going to respect her wishes and not smoke in her house. He wouldn’t have smoked in the house anyway, hating that the smell of cigarette smoke lingered and stuck to everything.

“I can live with that.” Calum jumped down from the counter and chewed the rest of the brownie that was in between his fingers. “Maybe livin’ with you won’t be so bad after all.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Elena turned around and crossed her arms over her chest insecurely and defensively. “What- what does that mean?” She shook her head in confusion.

“I wasn’t too keen on movin’ in with my sister’s hot best friend, you know? Felt like kind of a loser with my sister asking you to let me crash here. But,” Calum smirked and stepped closer, moving a piece of hair out of Elena’s face, his knuckles grazing the apple of her cheek every so lightly. “With the way you baked those brownies, I think I can live with it for a little while.”

With that, Calum dropped his hand and walked away, leaving a very stunned, and very blushing and confused, Elena with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. Had he just called her hot? Directly to her face? Shit. She really needed to pull it together.

***

Elena could have killed Calum. It was enough that he was annoyingly attractive and borderline cocky, but did all of his friends have to be hot, too? Elena looked out her bedroom window when she woke up at noon, she was one to sleep in often, and groaned when she saw her backyard filled with Calum and his hot friends doing cannonballs into her - their pool.

She wanted to lay out by the pool, since she didn’t have to do much work and it was nice and not raining for the first time in days, but she didn’t want to crash their party. She didn’t feel like she was invited to hang out outside, even though it was her house, she just didn’t feel welcomed. And honestly, she would probably be an awkward, blubbering mess around four attractive men. Shirtless men.

Elena stood in the kitchen, a cup of iced coffee in her hand that she made the night before, and a piece of toast in front of her. She was still groggy from just waking up and her actions were slow and lazy. “You just now wakin’ up?” Calum asked her, knocking her out of her daydream, and she turned around slowly to see him in nothing but a pair of swim trunks and water droplets dripping down his body.

His attractiveness wasn’t fair, Elena thought. “Uh, yeah.” Her voice was sleepy and raspy and Calum looked her up and down, taking in the oversized t-shirt and lack of pants she had on. Her hair was thrown up in a bun and her face free of makeup and Calum decided right then and there that he thought she was adorable just post sleep. “I’m not a morning person.”

“Yeah, Mali told me.” Calum laughed and ran a hand through his wet hair. Elena let her eyes trail over Calum’s body and face, almost catching his eyes but looked away before she could get caught, and pretended to look curiously out of the kitchen window. There were the three attractive men, laughing and messing around with each other in the pool. “Sorry, I guess I could’ve asked if the guys could come over.”

Elena furrowed her eyebrows at the grown man in front of her that sounded more like a teenaged boy talking to his mother, and the corner of her lips turned up just slightly. Shaking her head, she assured him, “You’re living here, too, Calum. You don’t need to ask my permission for anything.”

Calum nodded his head and pointed his thumb behind him in the direction of the backyard. “Well, we’re outside swimmin’ and drinkin’ some beers,” Calum ruffled his wet hair, spraying water all over the floor, and while that would usually annoy Elena, she couldn’t help but not care. She was too tired and too distracted by Calum’s bare chest and stomach to care in that moment. “If you wanna join?”

Elena was thankful for the offer, but she still wasn’t sure if she wanted to hang out with Calum and his friends. She barely knew Calum in the first place, and she definitely hadn’t met any of his friends, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to sit through that with her being so awkward around new people. “I don’t want to impose.”

Elena was shy, that much was obvious, but Calum found it kind of endearing. She was gorgeous, but didn’t seem nearly as confident as she should have been. Calum was used to girls throwing themselves at him and flirting nonstop, but Elena was the exact opposite. She didn’t like to be in a room with him alone for too long and she wasn’t even close to flirting with him. It was weird for Calum to not have a girl he was living with to throw herself at him, but he was also glad for it. He wouldn’t have enjoyed living with a girl who was constantly trying to make moves on him.

“It’s your house, Elena, I’m practically just a guest.” Calum reminded her with a small smirk. He didn’t want her to feel unwelcome in her own house and nervous around him and his friends, and even though he hadn’t known her for longer than two weeks, Calum knew she wouldn’t have stepped foot outside if he hadn’t invited her. And, Calum definitely wouldn’t have minded seeing her in a bathing suit. “You wouldn’t be imposing. And the guys wanna meet you. So, what do ya say?”

The charming smile that graced Calum’s face had Elena biting her lower lip and nodding her head, giving in way too quickly to his boyish charm. Elena would have felt like a loser, holed up in her house while her roommate and his friends were outside having fun, anyway. “Let me just go change and I’ll meet you out there.”

Calum saluted her before grabbing two beers out of the fridge and making his way back outside to the pool. Elena rinsed her cup out and headed up to her bedroom to change. Gnawing on her lower lip, she looked through her bathing suits and tried to choose one that wasn’t too revealing- which weren’t many.

Elena settled on a yellow two piece string bikini that she had just purchased and hadn’t worn yet, figuring it would be a good time to wear it. Grabbing a towel out of the linen closet, Elena made her way back downstairs and outside to the pool. She had her towel wrapped around her body, held tight against it, since there were now suddenly four pairs of eyes on her.

“Calum’s new roommate! Hey!” A blonde guy with long curly hair waved to her from the float he was sitting on in her pool with a beer in his hand. “Come join the party!”

Elena did so, reluctantly, and took the only open lawn chair that was next to Calum’s. Calum introduced her to his friends- Michael, Ashton, and Luke. She waved and introduced herself shyly and finally dropped her towel so she could lay in the sun. She wasn’t facing the guys, except Calum, but she could feel all pairs of eyes on her.

“Here,” Calum held out the second Corona he grabbed from the fridge just before. “I got you a beer.” Elena eyed it hesitantly, not knowing for sure if she wanted to drink at just half past noon, but figured that if she drank a few beers it would loosen her up a bit around the men she didn’t know and, hopefully, not be as awkward. “You do drink, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I do. Thanks.” Elena smiled shyly as she took the already opened beer with the lime in it. Elena wasted no time as she chugged down half of it in one gulp. She drank often, but not in excessive amounts out of fear of doing or saying something embarrassing.

Calum looked at her with an amused smile on his face as she chugged it down, not expecting her to drink so fast and willingly, but enjoyed watching her nonetheless. He continued watching her as she stood up and opened the bottle of sunscreen that Michael brought, and bit his lip as she lathered herself in it. Elena tried to reach behind her to cover her back, but huffed in annoyance when she couldn’t reach and get it all covered.

“Let me help.” Standing up, Calum took the bottle from Elena and gestured for her to soon around, and she did so hesitantly. It seemed everything she did around Calum was hesitant. Hesitance should have been her middle name. Breath hitching in her throat, Elena tensed when she felt Calum’s hands, cold from his beer, on her exposed skin.

Calum took his sweet time, lathering the sunscreen on her back, finding it amusing that she was so tense and nervous around him, but he loved it. He could feel his friends eyes on them and could see Ashton smirking from where he was sitting, but he ignored them, with a smirk of his own on his face. He knew what he was doing to Elena, how he was making her feel, and he kind of felt like an asshole, but it also made him feel good. He loved the effect he already had on her.

“Thanks.” Elena mumbled once Calum told her he was done and she finally laid back on the lawn chair. Sighing in content, Elena felt the sun beat down on her and let herself be distracted by the music that was coming out of Calum’s speaker. Elena, momentarily, forgot that she was surrounded by attractive men she didn’t know.

“So, Elena,” Elena opened her eyes to see Luke holding himself up on the edge of the pool, his chin resting on his crossed arms, as he looked at her. She sat up to see him better, not wanting to be rude or disrespectful as he spoke to her, and adjusted the sunglasses on her face. “Tell us about yourself. All we know is that you’re Mali’s best friend.”

“What, uh, what do you want to know?”

Luke shrugged carelessly. “Just, you know, the basics.”

Elena went on to tell Luke, and the rest of the boys because she knew they were listening, that she was twenty-two, her favorite color is yellow, she met Mali through mutual friends and they hit it off, she was a journalist and her job gave her the luxury of working from home most of the time, only going into the office once or twice a week. That’s really all she could think of to tell them. She didn’t find herself that interesting of a person.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Luke asked, surprising Elena but not Ashton, Calum, or Michael. They just laughed at Luke’s nosy behavior. They were used to it, but Elena, not so much.

“Uh, no. I don’t.” Elena shook her head.

“Why not?” Luke tilted his head to the side in curiosity. He thought she was gorgeous, just as Calum did, so he couldn’t understand why she was she single. “I mean, you’re a solid ten, so it just doesn’t make any sense to me.”

Elena’s eyes widened and her cheeks were on fire, she was sure, as the guys, minus Calum who was shaking his head and glaring at his best friend, laughed at Luke’s clearly tipsy confession.

“I-I don’t know,” Elena laughed sadly and awkwardly. Relationships weren’t her fortay, the last three she hadn’t ended too well and she wasn’t going to put herself through that again. And, also, she hadn’t met any guys interested in her enough to be her boyfriend, but honestly, Elena was fine with just casually sleeping around. For now. “Guess I just can’t find a guy interested enough.”

Luke clicked his tongue and started to swim away. “What a shame.”

Elena sat there, confused and blushing at Luke’s words, and continued to drink her beer that had gotten warm from the sun. She finished the rest before it got too warm and cleared her throat as she stood up. “I’m, uh, I’m-I’m going to get another beer.”

Elena excused herself and quickly walked inside, sighing happily at the air conditioning that was blasting through the house, and wiped the sweat off her forehead that wasn’t just from the heat. Luke’s words and his so openly telling her that she was attractive made Elena extremely flustered and borderline embarrassed. She hated being the center of attention, so Luke putting her on the spot like that made her extremely nervous.

Calum made himself known in the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge just as Elena did minutes before. She was already halfway through her new one to ease her nerves and anxiety. It didn’t seem to be working as well as she would have liked.

“‘M sorry about Luke,” Calum leaned against the counter next to Elena and inhaled a sharp breath through his nose. He could smell Elena perfectly; her vanilla shampoo and the sunscreen he had put on her and the small amount of sweat on her body, and his swim trunks, that were already a little bit tight, tightened. He was overwhelmed by the smell and sight of her. He couldn’t understand why he found her so attractive, but he wasn’t trying to fight it. That would have been pointless. “He has no filter. Especially when he’s drinking.”

Elena could tell that Luke was the most talkative one out of the group. She had only heard Michael and Ashton say a few words and had obviously talked to Calum dozens of times with them living together, but Luke, out of all of them, was the most talkative and the most confident, it seemed. He exuded confidence and self assurance. He and Elena were the opposite.

“I know you’re, like, super shy, and Luke isn’t, so-“

“I’m not that shy.” Elena interrupted defensively, crossing her arms across her chest and propping her hip against the counter. It wasn’t a complete lie, that Elena wasn’t that shy, because she wasn’t. Around her close friends she was talkative and confident and kind of crazy in a good way, but around people she didn’t know well? She was closed off and kept to herself, only talking when somebody started a conversation with her and when it was necessary.

“No?” Calum smirked and took a step closer to her. They were standing the closest they had ever been, with their breath fanning against each other’s faces and their chests nearly touching. Calum tucked her hair behind her ear and slowly, teasingly, ran his thumb over her lower lip. He had never wanted to kiss somebody so badly. “Then show me, Elena. Show me you’re not as shy as I think you are.”

Elena gulped audibly, Calum heard it and tried not to smirk, but she regained her composure and took half a step closer. She was trying to be confident, and it seemed to be working, well, in Calum’s eyes it was, in hers, she still felt awkward. Calum’s bare chest was now pressed against Elena’s with her cleavage spilling out of the top of it, and she put her hands on his shoulders, pulling herself up on the tips of her toes. Their lips were a bear centimeters away, almost touching, and Calum’s hands on Elena’s hips were burning her skin. They both leaned it, lips just barely grazing, when the door burst open.

They jumped apart, both of them clearing their throats and running their hands through their hair, to compose themselves, acting as if nothing had happened. Or nothing almost happened. It was Michael who had walked in and who was now cocking an eyebrow, rolling his lips into his mouth to hide his smile. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Nope.”

“No.”

“Not at all. Nope.” Calum repeated, picked up his beer, and nodded his head at his best friend, making a beeline for the door.

It seemed as if it was easier for Calum to compose himself, unlike Elena, who still had red cheeks and sweat on the back of her neck and on her forehead. Her entire body was on fire and all she wanted to go was take a freezing cold shower.

“So, you and Calum, huh?” Michael finally spoke up. He didn’t want to pry, having just met the shy girl, but the scene he just walked in on had him curious and wondering just what the hell was going on between his best friend and Elena.

“What? No.” Elena shook her head nervously. “There’s- there’s no me and Calum. Definitely not. No.”

“You sure about that? You looked pretty cozy.”

“I’m positive.” Elena swallowed the nervous lump in her throat and watched as Michael continued to stare at her in thought. Finally, he let out a sigh and nodded his head, mumbling a quiet ‘if you say so’, before exiting the kitchen to return to his friends in the pool.

Elena let out the sigh she was holding in and closed her eyes, shaking her head, trying to forget how good Calum smelled and how close she was to kissing him. Looking out the window, Elena caught sight of Calum leaned back on the lawn chair, beer in hand, and wide smile on his face. As if he could feel her gaze on him, he slowly looked over, locking eyes with her, offering the most panty dropping smirk. Living with him was definitely going to be more challenging than she thought.

***

Elena was happily content on her couch, alone in the house for the first time in a while, with reruns of her one of her favorite shows playing on the TV in front of her. Sprawled out on the couch, shoving popcorn in her mouth; Elena’s mind was finally off of Calum. Seeing him and being around him in the same house everyday, it seemed that he was all she could think about. He was clogging her senses and she desperately needed a night away from him.

So, when Mali suggested the three of them get dinner and go out for a few drinks afterwards, Elena politely declined, telling her best friend that she wasn’t up for going out, so they made it a sibling night. Elena couldn’t be happier. Normally, Elena did suffer from FOMO when her friends went out without her, whether it be she had to work on something her boss assigned her or she didn’t feel like going out, in that moment she felt the complete opposite.

Just around midnight, Elena heard the front door open and shut quietly and Calum putting his keys in the glass bowl on the table beside the door, and the sound of him taking his shoes off and hanging his jacket up on the coat rack. She didn’t bother pausing the show, figuring that Calum would just acknowledge quietly her and then head straight upstairs, but was proved wrong as he lingered in the living room.

“How was dinner?” Elena’s voice, quiet and hoarse from not speaking all night, brought Calum’s attention from his phone to her, and the corners of his lips turned up at the sight of her. Looking as cozy as ever in a sweatshirt that he was sure was his and shorts, hair up and out of her makeup free face.

“It was good.” Calum pursed his lips and pointed to the article of clothing she had on. “That my sweatshirt?”

Elena looked down and furrowed her eyebrows. “Oh, uh, it- it might be? It was in my laundry.” She then realized that she had indeed seen Calum wearing it a few weeks ago. She wasn’t sure how it ended up in her laundry and not his, but she was a bit embarrassed about wearing it and not noticing it was his. “I-I’m sorry. Do you want it back?”

She reached for the end to take it off, since she had a shirt on under it, but Calum shook his head and waved her off. “Nah. Looks better on you.” The boyish grin graced his face and Elena blushed with a shy smile. She could tell he was a bit tipsy by the lazy smile on his face and his droopy eyes and how talkative he was being. Ever since their encounter in the kitchen, they hadn’t spoken many words to each other. “Whatcha watchin’?”

Elena folded her extended legs when she realized that Calum had started making his way over to the couch, and she was taking up all of the space. Even though it was her couch, he did live with her now, and she didn’t want to hog it. “Mad Men.”

Calum got comfortable on the couch and hummed in thought. “Never seen it.”

“What?” Elena exclaimed loudly, surprising Calum and embarrassing herself with her sudden outburst. “It’s, like, my favorite show ever. I’ve rewatched it at least three times!” Elena, still excited, quieted and settled down, and cleared her throat. “We can, uh, I can start it from the beginning if you want?”

“You sure?” Calum thought it was sweet, and a little bit nerdy, that she was so excited about a television show, and about wanting him to watch it. “I don’t want to interrupt your you time.”

“I don’t mind.” Elena shook her head with a sweet smile on her face and Calum found himself giving in, nodding his head and smiling as he watched her go back to the homepage of Netflix to find the first season.

“You can stretch out your legs again, if you want.”

They both knew that if she extended her legs out all the way, that they would end up in Calum’s lap, but he didn’t mind and Elena found herself surprisingly comfortable with resting her legs and feet in Calum’s lap. Calum’s hands absentmindedly rested on Elena’s shins, his thumb grazing the exposed skin as he engulfed himself into the show that Elena was so excited about him watching.

While Calum watched intently, reading the subtitles that Elena had put on were saying, Elena could focus on quite literally nothing else but Calum’s thumbs tracing and rubbing her skin absentmindedly. She tried to focus on the show, but since she had already seen the first season a million times, she didn’t need to pay attention to it, already knowing what happened, so the only thing her mind could focus on was the way Calum’s fingers felt on her skin. They left a fire in their wake, but it was oddly comforting to Elena.

Calum, on the other hand, was so entranced by the show that he didn’t notice Elena’s body completely relax and melt into the couch. After three episodes, Calum looked over at an oddly quiet Elena, and smiled fondly at the image of her completely asleep. She looked so peaceful, the most at ease Calum had ever seen her, that he didn’t stop the motions on her skin and didn’t get up to carry her to bed.

They fell asleep like that; Calum’s hands securely on her legs that were in his lap, Elena stretched out fully, and Calum, not so comfortably, resting on the couch. Calum knew that he could definitely get used to that, even if wasn’t the most ideal sleep position, if Elena was content, then so was he.

***

“Anybody home?” Mali called out, slamming the front door to Elena and Calum’s house shut. Her heels clicked against the floor as she walked around the house, checking each room to find either her brother or best friend.

Her face lit up when she found both of them, plus Michael, sitting on the patio in the backyard with beers in front of them and music playing through the speaker that Calum didn’t go anywhere without.

“Mali-Koa!” Michael waved at her happily, a huge grin on his face as she neared the table. Calum and Elena looked behind them, since they were both sitting with their backs towards her, and greeted her with smiles and happy hellos.

“Hi, loves!” Mali plopped down on the chair next to Elena and rested her feet on her lap, sighing happily as she no longer was walking on her heel clad feet. “What are we up to today?”

“What we do best,” Calum held up his half empty beer and pointed it in Mali’s direction for her to drink the rest of. She did so happily, chugging it down and craving another instantly after her long day of work. “What brings you by, sis?”

“Just wanted to see my favorite people.” Mali grinned and patted Elena’s leg. “Oh, and Michael, I guess.” Michael rolled his eyes, but laughed along with everyone else since he knew she was joking.

Michael had known Mali for just as long as he knew Calum and he thought of her like a sister, like he thought of Calum like a brother. They were close and would often text each other throughout the week just to see how each other were doing. Their relationship was one similar to Calum and Mali’s, or Elena and Mali’s.

“But actually,” Mali started up again. “I need some drinks and the bar is calling my name. Who’s joining me?”

Everyone agreed to go along with Mali, but before they could go directly to the bar, Elena insisted she touch up her makeup and change out of her sloppy clothes she had been wearing all day to something cuter, more bar appropriate. The four of them met outside at Mali’s car, her getting into the driver’s seat, Elena in the passenger, and Calum and Michael in the back.

The bar was dead, considering it was a Tuesday evening, and the group was happy that it wasn’t overly packed. A chill, empty bar is just what all of them wanted. After ordering a round of drinks, Mali dragged Elena to the pool tables and the two of them got lost in trying to beat and out play one another, while Michael and Calum sat at the bar and caught up.

“What’s up with you and Elena?” Michael finally asked the question that was in the back of his head since he walked in on them not-so-subtly almost kissing in the kitchen.

“What do you mean?” Calum wiped the foam from his beer off his upper lip and quirked an eyebrow at his best friend. “There’s nothin’ going on between us, Mike.” Calum told him. And it was the truth. Sure, there were some lingering touches here and there and longing stares when the other wasn’t looking, but as far as anything happening between them? It was nothing.

Michael snorted, clearly not believing Calum’s words. “I walked in on you guys almost kissing, I’ve caught both of you, on multiple occasions tonight, staring at each other when the other wasn’t looking,” Michael went on, listing them off on his fingers. “Clearly, there’s something there, Cal.”

“I mean, yeah, she’s hot and everything, but that’s it.”

Michael stared at him knowingly. He was lying and Michael knew it. “You like her.” Calum avoided all eye contact and drank his beer, trying to act like Michael’s words didn’t affect him. “Why don’t you just make a move on her already? I could cut the sexual tension with a knife.”

“Just make a move? What do you mean just make a move? She’s Mali’s best friend, dude. I can’t just make a move.”

“Why not?”

“Because, well, what if I did and she rejects me? Then it’ll be weird living with her and it’ll be weird with Mali and it just-” Calum ran a frustrated hand through his hair, tugging at the ends as he shook his head in annoyance. “It’d just be weird.”

“I can guarantee you that she will not reject you, Cal.”

“Oh yeah?” Calum scoffed. “How so?”

“Because she’s been undressing you with her eyes all night.” Michael told him before sliding off the bar stool and joining the two girls they were just talking about at the pool tables. Calum’s eyes followed Michael, landing on Elena who’s eyes, just like Michael had factually told him, were only on him.

They stood and sat in place, staring and paying attention to nothing but each other, and Calum cursed under his breath. Michael’s question rang through Calum’s head; why didn’t he just make a move already?

Elena finally looked away when she heard Mali calling her name, telling her it was her turn to shoot in pool, and Calum watched her. Weighing the pros and cons of potentially hooking up with his roommate and his sister’s best friend, he was interrupted by the bar door swinging open and the familiar voices of his friends hollering.

“Elena!” Luke grinned happily at her, slinging his arm over her shoulder as Mali took her turn to shoot in pool, and Calum’s jaw clenched as he watched Luke touching and standing so closely to Elena, clearly and openly flirting with her.

Luke had voiced his attraction to Elena many times since he met her and Calum tried not to be a dick about it, since he really had no reason to be, and he tried to play it off, but it was harder than he thought it would be. He was overly attracted to her and was a bit scared that Luke had a better chance with her than he did.

Elena didn’t seem as interested in Luke as he was in her, obviously, and even though Calum could see it in her face and mannerisms, he couldn’t stand to watch it. Standing up, Calum made his way to the bathroom, his eyes locking with Elena’s as he passed her.

Elena bit her lip in thought, politely excusing herself from Luke and from the rest of the group since she had lost against Mali in pool, and carelessly shouldered through the few people that were in her way. She wasn’t sure what had come over her, but all she could think about was getting to Calum.

She didn’t bother knocking, just walked right in, clearly startling Calum in the process and walked into the one person bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. Their eyes locked in the reflection of the mirror and Calum slowly turned again, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning against the sink. “Elena,” Calum looked her up and down, taking in her outfit that consisted of a pair of tight jeans and a tight shirt that showed off her curves. “What’re you doin’ in here?”

Elena took a few steps closer to him, already being in his personal space since the bathroom was so small, and inhaled nervously. “I think you know why I’m in here, Calum.” Another step closer, her heeled boots clicking against the tile floor. She had never been so bold before, never so confident. She had never pursued a man before, always letting them go to her. “You told me to show you I’m not as shy as you think I am.”

Calum didn’t make any moves as she wrapped her arms around his neck and without another thought, without even thinking about chickening out, she pressed her lips against his. Finally, Calum’s hands were on her waist, gripping them and spinning her around so she was against the sink now. Elena hopped up on her own, like she was reading Calum’s mind and spread her legs for him to step in between them.

Their lips moved feverishly together, tongues battling for dominance, Calum’s winning easily and Elena let out a moan in his mouth. He nipped at her lower lip before letting his mouth trail down her jawline and neck, his mouth hot against her skin.

Just as Calum’s hands slipped up her shirt, there was a loud pounding at the door, breaking them apart from each other. “Hurry the fuck up!” A voice neither of them knew yelled over the music.

Elena panted, Calum too, as they stared at each other with lust clouding their vision. Elena opened her mouth to speak, to suggest going home to finish what they had started, but Calum backed away before she could. “Should probably get back out there before they notice we’re missin’.”

With that, Calum left the bathroom, leaving Elena breathless and confused, and still on the sink. Well, that’s not what she had expected him to say.

***

Achoo, achoo, achoo. Each one sounded closer to Calum as he stood in the kitchen eating his late lunch. It was three in the afternoon and he had been awake since around ten and still hadn’t seen Elena. She hadn’t left her room, from what Calum could tell, and he was close to checking on her to make sure she was okay.

Groaning, Elena turned the corner and into the kitchen, sniffing and rubbing the tip of her red nose. Calum raised his eyebrows at his clearly sick roommate and frowned. “You okay?” He asked.

Elena looked up, startled, like she hadn’t noticed Calum was in the kitchen with her. She closed her eyes tiredly and shook her head. “I think I’m sick.”

Calum set his fork down onto the plate and stalked over to her, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead. She definitely had a high fever. “Jesus, Elena. You’re burnin’ up.”

Elena hadn’t been able to sleep the prior night due to her stuffy nose and sore throat, so, waking up at three in the afternoon made sense. She knew that she got sick from one of her coworkers a few days before, the one day she decided to go into the office to run something by her boss, she ran into a girl she had been working with for a few months, coughing and sneezing all over the place.

“Have you taken any medicine?” Calum questioned worriedly. Sure, she only had a cold and a fever, but he still wanted her to feel better. Shaking her head groggily, Elena informed him that she hadn’t bought any in a few months. She wasn’t prone to getting sick. “Alright,” Calum grabbed his keys from the counter and checked his pocket for his wallet. “Go and lay on the couch and I’ll go out and buy you some medicine and soup, yeah?”

“I can go.” Elena offered, trying to take Calum’s keys from his hand and he scoffed.

“You’re practically asleep, Elena.” Calum put his hands on her shoulders and spun her around, walking her to the couch. He lightly pushed her down and she obliged, her butt hitting the cushion with a huff. “I’ll be back in twenty.”

Elena rolled over, her head resting on the middle cushion and her knees to her chest, laying in the fetal position, as she hummed a quiet and barely audible goodbye.

True to his word, Calum was walking back inside with three different kinds of medicine and different soup options since he wasn’t sure what Elena preferred. “Hey,” Elena forced her eyes open to see Calum sitting on the coffee table across from her. He had set all the medicine on the table next to him and held up the different soups. “Which one?”

Without speaking, Elena pointed to the one in Calum’s left hand and sniffled. Calum got right to cooking, filling a pot with water and letting it boil before he poured the soup in it. It only took a few minutes, but to Elena, it felt like forever.

She had taken DayQuil as opposed to NyQuil since she was already half asleep, and popped a cough drop in her mouth. Calum came back into the living room shortly after with the bowl of soup in one hand and a mug of tea in the other. Elena forced herself to sit up, huffing and groaning, as she took the soup from Calum. “Be careful it’s hot.”

“Mmm,” Elena hummed in delight as she took the first bite, it nearly burning her tongue off but feeling amazing down her sore throat. “Thank you, Cal. You’re an angel.”

Calum grinned widely, never having heard her call him by the nickname his close friends called him, and almost found himself blushing when she called him an angel. He took a seat on the other end of the couch to give Elena space and, mostly, so she wouldn’t breath her sickness on him.

After eating her soup and drinking some of her tea, fatigue took over Elena’s body and she was falling back onto the couch, her head landing on Calum’s lap in the process. “Will you play with my hair?” Elena asked, her voice muffled by her arm that was covering her face, sounding like a little girl. “Always makes me feel better.”

Calum did so, with no hesitation or reluctance, and laughed quietly when Elena let out a happy sigh, the first he had heard from her all day. He felt her melt into him, her hand now resting on his thigh, and Calum knew she was close to asleep.

Weirdly, Calum wasn’t bothered by her sickness or how needy and helpless she was. In fact, Calum found himself enjoying being able to help her feel better. He could’ve done it a hundred times over.

***

“Fun night last night?” Calum cocked an eyebrow at a very hungover Elena who looked like a train wreck.

“Oh, God.” Elena hid her red blush covered face in her hands. “You heard it?”

“Well, not so much you, but I heard him.”

Elena, after finally getting rid of her cold, went out with Mali and the rest of their friends, and ended up very intoxicated, stumbling inside her house with a random guy she met at the bar. Obviously, they slept together, and Elena tried to be quiet about it.

“I was trying to be courteous.” Elena mumbled into the cup she was holding that was filled with a premixed cocktail. Truth was, if the sex had even been slightly enjoyable, Calum would have been able to hear her moans with them sharing a wall and all, but, the sex sucked, so Elena had no reason to be vocal. She didn’t even pretend it was good.

“That right?” Calum cocked a challenging eyebrow. He knew for a fact that a drunk Elena, or a drunk any girl, would have made at least some noise while getting laid drunkenly. But he hadn’t heard a peep come out of her mouth last night. “Or you just didn’t enjoy it.”

Elena nearly choked on her drink that was in her mouth, but quickly swallowed it and shook her head frantically. “I- what? Why wouldn’t- why wouldn’t have I enjoyed it?”

“If the sex was even remotely good all courteousness would’ve been out the window, Elena.” Calum inched closer to her, invading all of her personal space, and reached out to trail his finger up her bare arm. She shivered at his touch. “He didn’t make you cum, did he?”

Elena swore her eyes almost popped out of her head. She hadn’t talked about her sex life with anybody but Mali, really, definitely not her guy friends. And definitely not Calum. She was flustered, her body covered in heat from the blush that arose, and Calum couldn’t help but smirk.

“I’m not having this conversation with you.” Elena wanted to walk away from him so badly, but it seemed she was stuck in place.

“Just answer me and I’ll drop it; did he make you cum?”

Elena gulped and no matter how much she didn’t want to admit it to Calum, she more so wanted the conversation to be over. So, she told him, “No. He didn’t.” Elena shook her head. “Are you happy now?”

“Now why would I be happy about that?” Calum’s hands were now grazing against her bare thighs due to dress she had on, and they inched dangerously close to where she wanted him the most. Calum leaned in closer, his mouth barely brushing against her ear, as he spoke, “I bet I could make you cum with just my fingers.”

Elena was breathless, speechless, as Calum’s pointer and middle finger reached her clothed core, rubbing agonizing slow against her clit. Mouth agape and eyes squeezed shut as his fingers worked her. But, before they could get any further, a knock at the door interrupted them.

Calum pulled away, a permanent smirk on his face, and hummed. “Our friends are here,” Calum looked at the door behind him. “Wouldn’t wanna get them waiting, would we?”

With that, Calum walked away with the utmost confidence and went to answer the door. Elena leaned back against the counter, her hands gripping the edge of it so hard that her knuckles turned white. Elena was so lost and caught up in Calum so close to her, touching her where she craved him the most, that she had forgotten that they were expecting company for the little get together they planned to have.

She was flustered and hot and bothered and totally and completely did not have her shit together. As she heard the familiar voices of her and Calum’s friends mixed together, Elena stared up at the ceiling and took a few deep breaths. She had to get herself under control, but with Calum around and near, she knew she wouldn’t be able to.

***

Their eyes met and locked all night long. As they mingled and consumed their drinks, their eyes would somehow, always, find one another. It was like they were challenging each other to see who would cave first, who would make the first move. Neither of them would budge.

“You look great tonight.” Aaron, one of Elena and Mali’s friend complimented her as he opened another beer. Elena was outside on the patio, coolers surrounded her with guests beer, since it was BYOB, and Calum and Elena didn’t want to provide alcohol for everyone in their house.

“Thanks, Aaron.” Elena smiled gracefully and moved her hair behind her shoulder. They found themselves lost in conversation and Elena could feel Calum’s eyes on her the whole time from across the yard. He was smoking a cigarette and chatting with some of his friends.

When Aaron’s hand found Elena’s hip to pull her closer, that’s when Calum excused himself from his conversation, put his cigarette out, and stalled over to them. “Hey, Elena,” Calum interrupted, gripping her elbow with his hand and tugged her towards him. She stumbled slightly and gave Aaron and apologetic smile. “Can we talk? In private?”

Calum didn’t give Elena the chance to object or say goodbye to Aaron as Calum dragged her through the house and up the stairs. Once they reached Elena’s room she opened her mouth to speak. “Calum, what the hell-“

Calum shut her up by pushing her against her bedroom door, slamming it shut in the process, and pressed his lips against hers in a heated, overdue, kiss. Their lips worked together feverishly and Calum only pulled away to attach his lips to her jaw and neck. He dropped to his knees, hiking one of Elena’s legs on his shoulder to gain better access to the place he had been thinking about all night

Pushing her thong to the side, Calum attached his lips to her clit and sucked, flicked, and licked his tongue. Calum slipped one finger in at a time and Elena threw her head back, ignoring the dull ache from slamming it against the wooden door.

“Oh, fuck.” Elena moaned loudly, thankful for the music that was playing downstairs and tangled her fingers in Calum’s long hair.

Calum said that his fingers could make her cum, but it was his tongue and mouth that did most of the work that made her come undone embarrassingly easily and quickly.

Calum moved her thong back in place and Elena slumped against the door, leaning on it for support once Calum placed her foot back on the floor and stood up. He connected their lips once more and Elena deepened it, letting her hand trail down his stomach to palm him over his pants.

Calum caught her wrist in his grip and pulled away reluctantly. He wanted her so badly, more than he wanted anyone else, but it wasn’t the time for that. “What’s wrong?” Elena breathed against his lips. “Want you, Cal.”

“I want you, too, God you’ve no idea how bad I want you, but not right now. Not like this.” Calum shook his head and took a step back. “Not when there’s a houseful of people right below us.”

Calum placed one last gentle kiss on Elena’s lips and smiled down at her, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Yeah, okay, you’re right.” Elena nodded her head and let Calum pull her back downstairs with him.

All night, just like earlier in the night, their eyes would meet and Calum would wink and smirk, and Elena would blush. God, Calum was going to be the death of her.

***

It had been days since that night and Calum and Elena hadn’t seen much of each other. Calum had picked up extra shifts at the bar he had gotten a job at and Elena was running around doing errands and hanging out with Mali. It was weird, hanging out with Mali, when just days ago her brother was giving Elena the most pleasure she’s had in a while, but while the two of them were together, Elena tried her hardest not to think of how her best friends brother had gone down on her.

It was half past one in the morning when the front door slammed shut and Calum came trudging inside of the house. Elena was still up, having slept until the middle of the afternoon that same day, eating a bowl of ice cream as she scrolled through her phone mindlessly.

“Hey,” Elena greeted Calum, looking up from her phone to offer him a smile and he simply nodded his head at her, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and headed upstairs. Elena huffed in annoyance and followed him to his room, completely forgetting about her half eaten ice cream. “What is your problem?” Elena finally asked Calum after days of him avoiding her.

Calum turned around, shirtless in only his jeans now, and furrowed his eyebrows at Elena, who was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. She looked pissed and annoyed and Calum hadn’t ever seen her look like that. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Calum.”

“You’re gonna have to elaborate, Elena.”

“Oh my God, seriously? You’re so annoying!” Elena scoffed and took a few steps inside of his room, that she had only ever been completely inside of once. “Ever since you had your head between my legs and devoured me like a fucking feast you’ve been avoiding me like the Goddamn plague!”

Calum nearly laughed at the words that left Elena’s mouth, never having heard her speak so foully and confidently, but the matter wasn’t funny, Calum knew that.

“Jesus, if I had known you would have started acting weird I would’ve have let that happen.”

Calum stopped his actions, leaving his belt undone but still on, and looked at her annoyed expression. He hadn’t expected her to react the way she was. “What are you saying?” Calum challenged. “You regret it?”

“What? No. That’s- that’s not what I said.” Elena shook her head in exasperation and confusion. She wasn’t even sure what she was trying to say. She wasn’t expecting to have this conversation at nearly two in the morning, but she was fed up with Calum’s immaturity.

“Then what, Elena? What the hell are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that you’re a grown man acting like a fucking teenager! If you regret it, then that’s fine, just stop acting like a child.”

Elena waited for Calum to respond, to say anything, and when he didn’t, she scoffed and turned to leave his room, but before she could get any further, Calum was gripping her arm and stopping her. With their body’s flush together, Elena’s lips captured in Calum’s in a heated kiss, she knew that he didn’t regret it.

***

Elena groaned into the pillow as she was woken up by Calum shuffling around the room and shortly after opening the curtains that were covering the window, letting the sun shine through his room. She rolled over so her bare back was facing the window and covered her eyes with the duvet.

Elena heard Calum laughing and let out a tired sigh. “What time is it?” She mumbled into the pillow.

“Just a little after ten.” Calum told her and, once again, she groaned tiredly and grumpily. She definitely was not a morning person even though Calum was. “Get up, sleepy head.”

Calum moved his duvet out of her face and smiled at the sight of her; comfy and cozied up in his bed, nude from the night before. He couldn’t believe it had actually happened, but he didn’t regret it.

Rolling over so she was on her back, Elena rubbed her eyes and let a yawn rip through her body. “This is the earliest I’ve been awake in months.”

“You gotta seize the day, baby.” Calum chuckled and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, not caring that neither of them had brushed their teeth yet. “I invited the guys and Mali over for a pool day, so get up and get ready, yeah?”

Elena propped herself up on her elbow and closed her eyes. Mali. Shit. How was she supposed to act normal around her after having sex with her brother just the night before. “Fuck,” Elena cursed under her breath, although Calum heard.

“What?”

“Mali. Shit.”

“What about her, Elena?” Calum questioned.

“How am I supposed to be normal around her now without being weird? Oh God, I just had sex with my best friends brother. Oh God.”

Calum pursed his lips and nodded his head disappointedly. “Is that all I am to you? All this is?” He laughed sadly as he gestured between the two of them. “Your best friends brother?”

“What? No.” Elena shook her head and sat up properly, hugging the blanket to her bare chest. “That’s- that’s not what I meant, Calum.”

At the sound of the doorbell ringing, Calum shoved his swim trunks up his legs and grabbed the towel that was hanging on his door knob. “Right. Well, they’re here, so you should probably get dressed.”

Leaving his bedroom, Calum slammed the door behind him and Elena huffed, falling back onto his bed. Running her hands down her face, she shook her head at herself.

What had she gotten herself into?

***

Elena decided against joining Calum, Mali, and the guys for their pool day, opting to stay in bed and wallow in self pity, it seems like that’s what she did best. She was sure if she was around Mali she would start acting weird and if Mali asked her what was wrong, she would know instantly if she was lying. Calum was pissed at her, too, so she didn’t think joining their small pool party was the best idea.

Hours later, Calum was coming back inside after Mali and his friends left and hopped in the shower, washing the sun, sweat, and chlorine off of his body. He decided against drinking while everybody else did, so he wouldn’t be tired and even more drained from his long day.

After getting himself dressed in only a pair of sweatpants, he lingered outside of Elena’s bedroom door. It was shut and he could hear her TV from outside the door and he hesitantly hit his knuckles against the wood. “Come in.” Elena’s voice was muffled by the door and the TV and Calum slowly opened the door to see Elena under her blankets, only her head showing, with her eyes on the TV.

“Uh, hey.” Calum walked in, shut the door behind him, and stood at the foot of her bed.

“Hi.” Elena’s voice was quiet and nervous, almost, just like she acted when she first met him. Calum sat down on the side of the bed Elena was on and huffed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he turned his head to look at her. He stayed quiet and Elena gwaned on her lower lip. “I-I’m sorry about earlier.” Elena finally broke the silence.

“‘S fine.” Calum shrugged.

“I just- Mali is my best friend and she’s always come first, you know? So my first reaction was to think about her and what- what she would think and say about it.” Elena stumbled over her words and Calum’s hardened features softened.

“I get it.” Calum took her hand in his and rubbed the skin on it lightly. “I just like you, is all, and hearin’ you say that I’m just your best friends brother caught me off guard because I thought you liked me, too.”

“I do!” Elena exclaimed wildly as she sat up and let the blanket fall down her, now clothed, body. “I do like you, Calum. I’m just scared she’s going to be mad at me and I’m gonna lose her as a friend.”

“Mali is reasonable, El. She’s understanding and she doesn’t get mad easily,” Calum reminded Elena. Elena knew that already, it was common knowledge to know that if you were close with Mali, but she was still scared. “If you explain it to her, I’m sure she’ll get it.”

Elena sighed heavily and licked her lips. “You’re right.” Elena admitted and, finally, Calum smiled at her.

“I want to tell her, but if you don’t want to yet, that’s okay.”

“I’ll tell her soon, okay?” Elena assured him. “But can we just- can we stop talking about this right now?” Calum nodded his head and kissed the top of her hand. “Do you want to cuddle and watch movies with me the rest of the day?”

“Wouldn’t wanna do anything else,” Calum laughed and crawled into Elena’s bed with her, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her back into his chest. He placed light, feather like, kisses on the side and back of her neck as her body melted into his.

Calum didn’t know what to expect when he moved in with Elena, but it sure as hell wasn’t him falling for his sister’s best friend.

***

Elena twisted the ring on her finger as she waited for Mali to arrive at the restaurant they agreed to meet at. Elena had been avoiding and ignoring Mali for a solid week straight, trying to get her thoughts in order, and trying to figure out what she was going to say to her best friend.

She felt bad for ignoring Mali and blowing her off every time she asked to go out or just hang out at either one of their houses, she just didn’t know what to say to her. Elena, for once, was at a loss for words when it came to Mali.

“I never thought I was going to see you again,” Mali joked as she took the seat across from Elena, her grin falling as she noticed how nervous Elena looked. Mali knew Elena well enough to know that without her saying anything she knew something was wrong. “What’s going on? Why are you acting weird?”

“I-I have to tell you something.” Elena spoke nervously.

“Okay?” Mali furrowed her eyebrows, dragging out all of the letters in the word, gesturing for Elena to continue speaking. She stayed quiet, gnawing on her lower lip, and Mali was getting progressively more worried. “You’re freaking me out, Elena.”

“Okay, I- you might hate me but-“

“I could never hate you.” Mali interrupted to reassure her best friend.

“Calum and I, we-we kind of, hooked up?”

“And what? He got you pregnant?”

Elena shook her head rapidly. “What? No. No- we just- we had sex. And, well, I think we might be a thing now?”

“And that’s all?”

“Um, yeah?” Elena laughed nervously.

“That’s what you were freaking out? That’s why you were avoiding me?”

“I- yeah. Wait, you’re not mad?” Elena was thoroughly confused. She thought for sure that Mali was going to be pissed at her, shun her, and never speak to her again.

“Why would I be mad, Elena?” Mali laughed and shook her head at her over dramatic and paranoid best friend.

Mali couldn’t have cared less that her brother and her best friend had slept together. Honestly, if anything, she was glad it was each other that they were sleeping with.

“I-I don’t know because you’re my best friend and Calum is your brother? And I had sex with him?”

“Honestly,” Mali took a bite of the garlic bread that their server had given them, and wiped her hands on the napkin on her lap. “I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Wait, what?” Elena laughed incredulously. “You knew this was going to happen?”

“Well, obviously I didn’t know, but I had a feeling.” Mali shrugged with a sly smirk on her face. Elena still looked confused and a little bit nervous, so reaching across the table, Mali rested her hand on top of Elena’s. “Babe, I’m not mad at you, okay? I’m happy that you two are getting together. You’re two of my favorite people and I know that I already like you for Calum, obviously, and I approve of him for you.”

Elena finally smiled and let out the breath she had been holding in since she revealed the news to Mali. A grin overtook her face and she laughed, finally feeling all of the nervousness subside, and finally, enjoyed a nice meal with her best friend, with nothing to hide.

***

Elena sighed sadly at the half empty glass of wine in front of her on the dining room table. It was her birthday, and all of her friends were, unfortunately, busy. Mali insisted she would cancel her plans with Marco to spend time with Elena, but Elena simply nodded her head, letting her know that it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

Calum had an earlier shift at the bar, letting Elena know that he would be home at around ten, although Elena hadn’t even told him it was her birthday. She didn’t want him to miss work just because of her, and they technically weren’t even completely official yet, so she didn’t want him to do ditch work to celebrate with her.

The door shut and Elena checked the time, seeing it was only nine-thirty, and furrowed her eyebrows. Calum wasn’t supposed to be home for another half an hour, so when he appeared in the kitchen, the corners of her lips turned up.

“Hey, love.” Calum greeted her with a tired, drained smile. He noticed that her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and also didn’t miss the glass of wine on the table and the bottle next to him. He didn’t know her to drink alone, never had since he moved in with her, so he was concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Elena shook her head with a quiet laugh leaving her lips. “Well, it’s uh- it’s my birthday, and I have no pla-“

“What?” Calum exclaimed wildly, sliding into the chair next to her. “It’s your birthday and you didn’t even tell me?” He frowned, taking her ring clad hands in his own and squeezed them. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to miss work and, really, it’s my twenty-third birthday, it’s nothing special.”

“Twenty-three or not, it’s your birthday, El.” Calum furrowed his eyebrows, a thought popping into his head, as he tugged on her hands and pulled him up with her. “C’mon, go get dressed. We’re goin’ out.”

“What?” Elena laughed in confusion. “Going out where?”

“Dancin’ and drinkin’!” Calum clapped his hands in excitement and Elena couldn’t help but smile as wide as he was. “I’m callin’ the guys and making them meet us, yeah? ‘M not letting you spend your birthday all sad and alone.”

Elena nodded her head, not being able to hide the smile on her face at Calum’s excitement and did as he told her; going upstairs to change out of her leggings and shirt into something more birthday presentable. She laughed as she heard Calum shout from downstairs to ‘look sexy, even though you already are!’ and changed into something that made her ‘look sexy’.

“My God,” Calum groaned at the sight of Elena in skintight black jeans, a red shirt that showed off her cleavage perfectly, and a pair of red boots to match her shirt. “How’d I get so lucky?”

His hands slid around her waist, clasping them together to pull her closer, and hers wrapped around his neck. Their lips connected, and Calum pecked them a few times before pulling away to grin at her. “Most beautiful birthday girl.”

Elena giggles, bowing her head to hide her blush, and shook her head bashfully. She reluctantly pulled away, her boots tapping against the wooden floor, and nodded her head towards the front door behind them. “We should go. We got dancing to do, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Calum grinned, placing one more kiss to her lips before guiding them to the door and out to his car. Elena wasn’t too upset about spending her birthday by her lonesome, but she was so glad that Calum was taking her out.

Pulling up the very crowded club, Elena’s nerves spiked and she nervously chewed on her lip as her and Calum waited in line to get in. Calum sensed her nerves and squeezed her hand. “Whenever you wanna leave, let me know, yeah?” Calum knew she wasn’t too big a fan of huge crowds and clubs, so he wanted to make sure she knew that if she wanted to leave, he was ready whenever she was.

“Just get some drinks in me and I’ll be good.” Elena assured him. Calum pecked her lips and their moment of cheesy PDA was interrupted by his rowdy friends approaching them in the line.

“Birthday girl!” Luke cheered happily, pulling her into a short and quick hug, letting Michael and Ashton take turns hugging her and wishing her a happy birthday. Luke, once Calum told him that he and Elena were kind of together, backed off of Elena and calmed down with the touching and comments. Calum was glad for that, knowing that if his best friend knew he liked Elena, he would back off.

“Drinks on us,” Ashton grinned.

“All night!” Michael added for good measure and Elena thanked them as they flashed the bouncer their IDs to get inside.

Drinks were being downed left and right and the dancing never stopped and Elena thought that even if she did hang out with her other friends, she definitely wouldn’t have been having as much fun as she was with Calum and his friends. Who, Elena now, considered her own.

Elena swayed back and forth slightly, leaning against Calum’s body for support as he smoked a cigarette, a permanent drunken grin on her face, and Calum looked down with his own grin. He was drunk, too, but not nearly as drunk as Elena. But he didn’t mind how drunk she was, it was her birthday, she deserved to celebrate it.

“You havin’ fun, birthday girl?” Calum smiled down at her.

“I’m having a blast. Thank you for taking me out tonight.” Elena admitted, hiccuping a few times, followed by a shiver. Calum shrugged his jacket off, and draped it over her shoulders. “Thanks, Cal.”

“Of course,” Calum kissed the top of her head. “Anything for you, baby.”

Elena rested her head on Calum’s bicep, a content and drunk sigh leaving her lips. And honestly, she couldn’t have imagined her birthday any other way.

***

“I’m bored.” Elena huffed as she slumped onto the couch next to Calum, laying her head in his lap. It was their lazy Sunday, and while they usually spent that day wrapped up in each other, watching movies, and pigging out, Elena wanted to do something different.

It was a particularly nice day out and the sun was to set within the next hour, and Calum agreed, after their third movie- he was bored, too.

“Wanna go for a drive?” He suggested, running his fingers through Elena’s hair. “We could just drive around and watch the sunset.”

“That sounds nice,” Elena hummed as Calum’s fingernails lightly scratched her scalp, and although she wanted to get up and do something, she also would have loved to lay there all night and fall asleep to the feeling of his hands in her hair.

“Don’t fall asleep on me,” Calum laughed and shifted, sitting up and bringing Elena with him. She huffed but rubbed her eyes and tried to wake herself up more. “Get your shoes on, I’ll meet you at the car, yeah?”

Elena hummed in response and he kissed her lightly before he pushed himself up from the couch. He had early all pairs of his shoes by the door, while Elena had carried hers upstairs just a few days before. So, after sliding her sandals on and hopping down the stairs, she finally reached Calum’s car and slid into the passenger seat.

They drove in a nice, comfortable, silence with only the radio playing, their hands intertwined as Calum drove down the highway. Elena wasn’t sure where he was headed, it seemed like he had a certain destination in mind, but Elena didn’t mind. She rested her head on the window, feeling Calum squeeze her hand ever so often, and listened to him hum along to the radio.

He had a lovely voice, Elena figured out after some time of him living with her. She would hear him sing quietly in the shower, around the house while he cleaned up or cooked lunch or dinner for them, and she loved it. At the beginning, Elena really didn’t think that Calum could have gotten any more attractive, but when she heard his voice for the first time, she realized she was wrong.

The car stopping and the music cutting off was what pulled Elena out of her thoughts about her boyfriend and she finally looked in front of her, eyes widening at the sight. They were on top of a hill, she was surprised she hadn’t noticed them driving upwards, with a perfect view of the city and the sun that was about to set.

“Pretty, right?” Calum laughed, gauging her surprised reaction. Elena nodded her head and Calum motioned his, letting go of her hand so they could both get out of the car. “C’mon.”

The pair sat on the hood of Calum’s car, his arm around Elena’s shoulder and her head resting on his chest, settled in silence and watched the sunset slowly. It was beautiful, Elena thought, but Calum thought that she was even more beautiful.

Looking down at her, he mumbled into her hair, “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” Elena assured him, lifting her head up as Calum slid off the hood, coming to stand in front of her in between her legs. His hands rested on her hips and he stared intently at her. “What’s up, Cal?” Elena laughed, almost nervously and anxiously like she had when they had first met.

“This is gonna sound crazy,” Calum warned her and she tilted her head to the side, now more curious than ever. Taking a deep breath, Calum spoke the words he had been thinking for days now. “I think I’m kind of in love with you, Elena.”

Calum knew it was crazy, knew that it was so soon, considering they had only known each other for a few months, but how could he not love her? Getting to know the side of her that wasn’t shy, that was smiley and giggly and so open, it drew him in instantly. Her smile and everything about her, how could he not fall in love with a girl like her?

Her eyes widened and she was stuck frozen from his words. Frozen and silent for a good minute, but felt like an eternity to Calum, and he was about to open his mouth, about to tell her to forget he said anything, when she finally broke out into a shit eating grin.

“That is kind of crazy,” Elena nodded her head in agreement. “But I think I’m kind of in love with you, too, Calum.”

And Elena, she knew it was crazy how short of time she fell for him, but how could she not? Past his cocky exterior, he was sweet and kind and so caring with the way he took care of her and made sure she was comfortable and okay at all times. It was impossible, for Elena, not to fall in love with him.

He kissed her, their teeth clashing together due to the smiles that wouldn’t leave their faces, and Calum wasn’t sure how, but he knew he had struck gold, and he knew, the only person he had to thank for it, was his sister.

***

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