#saw some bullshit and since the best way to respond to bullshit is to love even harder - here we are! phee is great! i love phee!

[probadbatch]

You know what I really like about Phee?

She is ride or die with these boys and Omega.

Need somewhere safe to lay low now that you're finished with Cid? Phee will take you to her home and see that you are welcomed like family. You need help tracking down intel on a top secret imperial project? Phee's on it. Want to break into an imperial prison and free a world class douchebag so you can break into an even more secure black ops site later? Phee's got you, no questions asked.

Yeah, back in the first half of season two it probably was just that she had the hots for Tech and liked having some extra muscle with her on her adventures. But by the time she takes them to Pabu, it's super clear that she cares deeply about all of them. Lyana tells us that Phee has never brought anyone to Pabu with her but we see her bring the squad there like it was the most natural obvious thing in the galaxy.

Yeah she and Tech had their almost-thing but even now when Tech is (supposedly) gone, she sticks around. It was never just about what she wanted from him. If it was, she'd be gone too. Maybe she stuck around a little for Tech's sake, to honor him, but mostly it's about how much she loves them all as her own family.

And just like CF99, she'll do anything for her family.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Five

Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)

You call Meredith when you get home.

You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.

How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.

"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."

"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"

"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."

"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.

"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."

"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."

"That works."

"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."

It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.

"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.

"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."

The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.

Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.

But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.

You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.

You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.

Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.

“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...

“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”

"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"

"You won't return any of our messages."

"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."

"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.

"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.

Dammit.

"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."

"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.

"Why not?" He countered.

“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”

He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.

You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.

God...

That felt good.

You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...

You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.

[smoochkooks]

—chapter twenty: this hope is treacherous

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, smut

word count: 2.4k words summary: it is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. but for a while, you did.

previous || next

Jungkook [Thursday, May 3rd, 05:32 pm]

How did it go? Soojin says everything’s fine between you

Want to grab bulgogi on Saturday? Same place as usual

Jungkook [Saturday, May 5th, 01:05 am]

Is everything alright? You haven’t been answering my texts

Jungkook [Saturday, may 5th, 03:45 pm]

Can I call you?

Two missed calls from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th, 9:33 am]

Are you sick? Do you need something? I can drop by later today after work

I’m worried

Why are you not responding????

YN?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 06:15 pm]

Jungkook, sorry I have been MIA this past few days. I needed some time to think and I decided I want to keep some distance between us from now on.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:23 pm]

What are you talking about? I thought we were good.

Did Soojin say something to you?

You  [Wednesday, May 9th  06:25 pm]

No, nothing happened. Soojin accepted my apology and she decided to move on, as I think we all should.

It was solely my decision and I need you to respect it

One missed call from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:26 pm]

You won’t even answer my calls?

Come on YN, this is ridiculous

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  08:15 pm]

Fine. I’ll respect your decision. Can I at least talk to you in person about it?

Please

“You’ve been staring at your phone for the past ten minutes, babe. Jungkook’s not going jump out of it, you can calm down for a sec.” Dahyun says from her place on your couch.

It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays for Dahyun are reserved for self-care, which often means trying out new face mask recipes she saw on TikTok. And since, as she stated a long time ago, “You’re my bestest friend, ever, ___” you are obligated to take part in it as well. If you refuse to participate, you should gear up for the Cheong Dahyun’s wrath.

That’s why you’re currently soaking your feet in a mixture of soap, bathing oils and a secret ingredient Dahyun doesn’t want to disclose, with a hydrating sheet mask on your face.

You lock your phone and throw it to the other side of the couch. “I should probably just ignore him completely.”

Dahyun rips off her sheet mask in a way too dramatic manner and turns to look at you. “And let that she-devil win? Fuck, no!” she blurts out.

You snort. “She-devil?”

“I would call her the b-word but I’m trying to cut down on derogatory terms when referring to women, even those who deserve to be called that,” she explains, massaging her neck with the sheet mask’s oily residue. “Anyway, I think you should tell Jungkook the truth. She’s manipulating both you and him!”

“If a say a word to Jungkook, she’s going to write a post on her social media and not only expose me, but also accuse of having an affair with him.” you reason.

“Just tell Jungkook she’s threatening you. He’s going to see right-through her bullshit, leave her alone and be with you,” Dahyun shrugs like your predicament isn’t complex at all, and motions for you to take your feet out of the water. She tosses you a white towel and hands an opaque container. “Now put that onto your feet. Girls on TikTok are saying they will feel like heaven. And smell like lavender too!”

You scoop the cream onto your nail and sigh. “It’s not that easy. She is his wife and he loves her, of course he will take her side. He might not even believe me,” you say. Your eyebrows involuntarily rise, inhaling the cream’s scent. “It does smell like lavender.”

Dahyun makes ‘I told you so’ face before replying, “You’ve got twenty years of friendship on her.”

 “And unrequited crush, and a whole book about it.” you point out.

“I forgot how complicated your life has become these days,” Dahyun says, shaking her head. “So what? You’re just going to give up? Ignore his messages, calls, don’t answer the door when he’s on the other side, hide in the bush when you’ll  randomly see him on the street and only contact him once a year for his birthday?” she asks.

Initially, your plan was to wait a few weeks after your confrontation with Soojin and eventually things would get back to normal, slowly and steadily. You’re used to being on stand-by, after all. But that was before you actually met up with her to talk. Before she’s threatened to reveal your biggest secret to the whole world. Variété would never grant you another book deal after such scandal. You would be ruined for good and blacklisted by every single publishing company in this country. You can’t risk your career like that. Not now, not when you’re already working on your new book and this time you decided to release it under your real name.

You think about your parents. What would they think about their daughter? Surely they would feel disappointed. Lastly, you think about Jungkook. If you let Soojin get away with her threats, you might lose Jungkook for good. And that would slowly kill you.

“Okay, fine. I will try to talk to him about it.” you finally decide.

Dahyun claps her hands. “I knew it! Gosh, You’re down bad for this man, aren’t you?” she asks, grinning.

“Stop teasing me or I’m going to cancel our next self-care Wednesday.”

She gasps. “You wouldn’t. I have gua-sha massages planned for that day.”

“Try me!”

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:08 pm]

Okay. We can talk in person

Jungkook  [Wednesday, May 9th 11:09 pm]

I’m visiting Busan this weekend. Soojin has a business trip so I’ll be alone

Would you like to go with me?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:12 pm]

Busan is fine by me. I missed my parents

I will take the train though.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th 11:13 pm]

See you there

“There she is! My lovely daughter!”

It’s the first thing you hear after getting off the train at the railway station in Busan. Your mum hugs you tight and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Your dad couldn’t leave work earlier today so I’m picking you up instead,” She puts her hands on your shoulders and eyes you carefully. The smile she was wearing just seconds ago leaves her face. “I can tell you haven’t been eating well! What have I told you? You need to eat or you won’t have any energy!”

There it is. The world could be on fire and your mom would still worry about you not eating enough. Twenty-something years have gone by, and she’s still relentlessly reminding you to do so.

You roll your eyes, as you always do. “What did you make for dinner, then?” you ask, opening the car’s trunk and putting your bag there.

Your mom’s mood instantly lights up. “Chicken soup and jajangmyeon, your favorite,” she answers and starts the engine. “By the way, Jungkookie is also at his parents’, he arrived yesterday. Why haven’t you come with him?”

“I had a meeting at the publishing company that I couldn’t postpone,” you lie. “I’m meeting him later today, though.”

“I can’t believe my daughter is going to be a published author so-hey, you idiot! Who gave you a driving license?!” she yells. The young driver raises his hand in apology and your mom huffs. “It’s always the young ones! Anyway, do you know that Jungkook never visits his parents with that wife of his? I’ve only seen her once, during their engagement party for the whole family. You know which one, they did a big barbecue in the backyard. She seemed nice then, but a bit too standoffish, don’t you think? She comes from money, right?”

“Yeah, her parents own a company in Seoul that distributes vegetables and fruits all over the country. They also export, I think.” you reply, staring at the busy streets of Busan. You would probably rather talk about sex with your mom than discuss Jungkook’s marriage life, but your mom is a busy-body and loves gossip too much to let that slide.

To say the last, Soojin’s father is a big name in the industry. Jungkook told you once that he had to attend a dinner with Soojin and her parents, hosted by the minister of agriculture. You remember how much Jungkook worried he might not fit in the family. Soojin grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth, attending private schools and going on vacations overseas. The summer after they officially had started dating, Jungkook worked two jobs so he could afford to go to Thailand with her. What was a standard for Soojin, was a hard-earned commodity for Jungkook.

Your mom whistles. “No wonder she doesn’t like coming here to Busan. Too posh for that, ha! And especially now, with two extra people in the house. Oh, ___, they are such cute babies! Everyone is head over heels for them.” she says, beaming.

You smile to yourself. Junghyun, Jungkook’s older brother, got married four years before him to his high school sweetheart and few months ago she got birth to twins. Knowing Jungkook, he’s probably spoiling them with presents every time he visits.

And speaking of the devil, you notice his car immediately as your mom pulls up to your driveway. With a heavy sigh, you brace yourself for what’s to come.

Four years ago, Junghyun’s wedding party

“So, my dear brother, when am I going to dance at your wedding?”

Junghyun was clearly drunk, his speech slurred as he wrapped his hands around Jungkook’s shoulders and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. You giggled, positively buzzed yourself.

“I’m twenty-one and I just got back from the military. Let me live a little.” Jungkook grumbled and shoved his older brother away.

Really, it had been a little over two months now. His hair had grown into a nice length, the buzzcut long gone. He had gotten more buff, his dress shirt holding for dear life in some places. He’s matured, no longer a nineteen-year-old who had just finished high school but a grown adult.

Truth to be told, you missed him terribly.

Junghyun sat next to Jungkook, opened yet another soju bottle and poured a shot for each one of you. “To my beautiful wife Mina. I love you, honey!” he shouted and downed the alcohol. You could see Mina from across the room shaking her head with a soft smile playing on her lips. You grew up watching them fall for each other more and more with every passing day. If soulmates existed, Mina and Junghyun were definitely destined to be together.

“What about that birdie you’re dating now, huh? Sodam or something? Huh?” Junghyun asked, poking Jungkook in the ribs teasingly.

Jungkook’s already flushed cheeks, reddened ever more. “Her name’s Soojin and we are not dating. We went on one date,” he said sternly. “Besides, she’s out of my league. Her parents are super rich. Do you know she’s been to Paris this summer? She probably doesn’t know how cup noodles taste like!”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing, then.” Junghyun shrugged his shoulders. He poured himself another shot of soju and looked at you, then at his younger brother, his face weirdly serious all of a sudden. “You know what I think?” he asked.

“I haven’t gained the ability to read your thoughts yet, hyung.”

Junghyun smacked Jungkook’s head. “Aish, who taught you to speak like that to your hyung?” You knew that, from the way Jungkook was biting his lips to refrain from laughing, that he wanted so badly to answer: “You did!”, but he decided to let Junghyun continue his drunken monologue. “I think that you and ___ will end up together one day.”

You tried to conceal your surprised expression with a chuckle. “Me and Jungkook? Please, I wouldn’t stand his ass.”

“Hey!”

Junghyun shook his head. “I’m serious. Best relationships, the ones that last years and years, are made out of friendship. Your partner should be your best friend! Look at our parents! Look at me and Mina! We’ve been friends throughout the whole middle school, tiptoeing around each other before one us decided to finally make a move. And now we’re married.” he said, his gaze longingly fixated on his wife. You dared to glance at Jungkook, thinking you’d find him amused by his brother’s drunken speech, but he was looking at Junghyun, not a hint of smile on his lips. “I think that it might take you a while to get there but eventually, I’ll dance at your wedding. And I’ll be really, really happy to do so.”

It is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. But for a while, you did. You replayed that moment over and over again in your head. You thought about Jungkook, his stoic expression while listening to his older brother. How he did not protest. How maybe, he could too imagine that happening. But then he went on another date with Soojin, and another. Started working extra hours to afford her lifestyle. Years gone by, and for some unknown reason, you still hold that memory close to your broken heart. 

[joeshiestyslover]

i hate u

pairing: lsu!fratboy!joe burrow x volleyballplayer!reader

summary: you and joe were together before he transferred to lsu, when he broke your heart, but what happens when you end up transferring to the same college?

warnings: language, angst, joe’s an asshole

a/n: i got some inspo from a request and tied in a sza song bc i love her. also there will be a part 2

lowercase intended

masterlist

today’s the day your entire life changes, but little do you know, in more ways than one. a couple months ago just before your junior year ended, you were offered an athletic scholarship to play volleyball for lsu instead of ohio state. you immediately accepted because as much as you love your home state, you were tired of sitting on the bench waiting to finally play on the court. lsu offered you a starting position, so you would’ve been crazy to not say yes. 

you’re ready to leave ohio behind and forget the bad memories, well one bad memory in particular. you began dating your childhood best friend in college, after waiting for him to love you back your entire childhood. ever since you met, you both were inseparable, doing absolutely everything together, including college when you both were accepted to ohio state. the moment you started dating, you were the happiest you had been in a long time, and that happiness you thought would last forever, it only lasted three years. 

he decided to transfer from ohio state to lsu to play football because he was never given the chance to be starting quarterback, and lsu just happened to give him that chance. you were worried at first because he was going to be the furthest away that he had ever been, but he was quick to reassure you everything was going to be fine and that he was never going to forget about you or neglect you. 

oh, how you wish you never believed his bullshit lies.

after a couple weeks of him being in louisiana, he started to call less, basically ignoring your entire existence. you had planned to talk to him about it one night over facetime, but that morning you received a text from him that simply read, i think we need to take a break. you texted and called himnumerous times, trying to get him to explain, but he never responded or picked up your calls. after hundreds of unread texts and voicemails, you gave up. you still tried to keep up with him, looking at his social media accounts, until one day, when you checked a post he was tagged in, you saw him at a party making out with a girl that was perched on his lap. your heart broke, and you decided to block him on everything so you could move on; something that he had clearly already done. 

you are currently carrying the last of your boxes into your dorm room, chatting with your new roommate, eve. “so, why’d you transfer here again?” she asks you. “volleyball. i was tired of sitting on the bench all season.” you respond. “all season? damn.” “yeah i know. it fucking sucked, but that’s why i’m here now.” you tell eve. you finally finish carrying your boxes, and you decide to unpack tomorrow. you lie down onto your bed with a huff, “i forgot how much i hate moving.” you joke. suddenly, you hear a knock at your door, and eve jumps up to answer it. as she opens the door, she exclaims, “joe!”

no. it can’t be.

“oh my god, you have to meet my new roommate. y/n! come over here and meet joe!” you stand up, and slowly start to make your way towards the door. you look at the man in front of you, and make eye contact with him. “y/n!” joe exclaims. “it’s good to see you!” you only offer a small smile in return. “wait, do you two know each other?” eve questions, looking between you and joe. “umm just in passing.” you say, and joe gives you a confused look. “okay? me and joe are going to a party, so i probably won’t be back until after you fall asleep; so i’ll see you later, alright?” eve says. “yeah okay.” you reply as she walks out with joe. as you shut the door, you lean your back against it. “oh my fucking god this can’t be happening to me.” you say quietly to yourself. 

the next few days go by relatively smooth, with you finding your way around, getting your jersey along with your practice schedule, and adjusting to your new classes. you even were able to make a friend in your econ class, ja’marr. ja’marr told you that he’s a wide receiver for the football team, so you knew that he knows joe as well. about a week later, your roommate asks you the question you’ve been dreading. “how do you really know joe because the way he looked at you made it seem there’s more to the two of you than you let on.” you didn’t know how to answer her. you want to tell the truth, but do you want to trust someone you barely know with one of your worst memories? 

“if i tell you this, you cannot tell anyone, okay?” you tell her seriously. she nods, waiting for you to continue. “so, joe and i sorta dated back when we both went to ohio state.” “oh my god really?” she asks, shocked. “wait, there’s more. not only did we date, we were best friends since like childhood. he was literally my next-door neighbor.” eve’s jaw drops. “what happened between you two?” she inquires. “he broke up with me a couple weeks after he transferred here, over text.” “no! over text?! what a douche!” she exclaims. “i know, but after a while, i got over it, and now i’m here.” you say to her. “holy shit. that’s so fucked up, and i promise i won’t tell anyone.” “thank you eve.” you tell her. “but i am going to give you my honest opinion. i think you should talk to joe.” “no.” you have no interest in talking to that sleazeball. “why not? you two can finally clear the air and move on! don’t you want that?” eve tries to reason. “if he wanted to clear the air, he would have done that when he first broke up with me instead of being a coward and not responding to my texts or calls.” you state. 

almost on cue, you hear a knock at the door, maybe it’s one of eve’s friends. you really hope so. “oh hi joe. can you give me and y/n a sec? thanks.” she shuts the door, and you stand up from your bed. “do not tell me you brought him here eve!” you raise your voice slightly. “listen i had no idea about your history with him, so i invited him over here yesterday to watch a movie. i’m so sorry!” eve apologizes. “it’s fine. i’ll just go. text me when he leaves.” “come on, y/n! i think he actually wants to see you!” she says. “well, tough because i don’t want to see him.” you begin to walk towards the door. “please! just stay for a little while! if it gets too much for you, i’ll ask him to leave. please stay.” eve begs. “fine, but you owe me big time.”

eve opens the door, and there stands the boy you fell in love with almost twenty years ago. you briefly make eye contact before looking back at your roommate. “okay joe, come on in. i’ll put on the movie.” you try your best not to look at his face as you both sit down on the beanbags on your floor. the awkward silence deafening until joe speaks up, “so y/n, how have you been?” “umm since you broke my heart, then ran off like a coward? oh i’m just peachy keen!” you say back to him sarcastically, not bothering to make eye contact with him. your remark seems to shut him up until eve comes back over to the both of you after starting the movie.

all throughout the movie, you notice joe stealing glances at you every so often, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t doing the same. once the movie’s over, you’re waiting for eve to kick his sorry ass out of your dorm. for some reason, he isn’t leaving, and you try to get eve’s attention, but she’s too caught up in some conversation with joe. finally, eve walks over to you, and joe is still not leaving. “so umm, i know i said i would tell him to leave, but he wants to talk to you.” she says sheepishly. you sigh, knowing how stubborn joe can be. “five minutes. that’s it.” you tell her. she nods and walks back over to joe, and he looks back at you with a look in his eyes that you can’t quite pinpoint. “i’ll be back guys. y/n, please try not to murder him.” eve calls out to the both of you. 

“so what do you want to talk about?” you ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “i just wanted to tell you that i’m so sorry for what i did to you. i was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it. i just want you to know i never fell out of love with you. hell, i still love you, but-” “joe, stop.” you cut him off. “you don’t get to say you’re sorry because you sure as hell weren’t sorry when you broke my heart a year ago.” you say, coldly. “i know that i can never change what i did to you, but i just want you to know that i really am sorry, even if you don’t believe me.” you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “i thought you loved me joe.” you say, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. “i did love you! i still do!” he starts to raise his voice. “bullshit joe! you’re so fucking selfish! i don’t know why you give a shit all of a sudden! is it because you feel guilty? or do you just feel sorry for me?” you yell. “y/n-” “i don’t care anymore joe! you know why? it’s because you are not the person i fell in love with years ago!” you seethe. “i know, y/n. i know. it wasn’t fair for me to do that to you.” he tells you, looking at his shoes. “you can’t even look at me joe! i mean, did you ever realize you were hurting me? or did you just not care?” “y/n please-” “shut up joe! i hate you! it was so shitty of you to make me feel like that! god, what i would do to make you feel the way i did when you ripped out my heart and stomped on it!” your tears are falling down your face, stalling at your chin, and you don’t even bother to wipe them off. “y/n, just let me explain.” he begs you. “no! you had your chance to explain while you were off fucking random girls last year! you know what joe? fuck you!” a silence takes over the room, and you decide that you’re done with this conversation and joe. “get out.” you say calmly, looking him straight in the eye. “what?” joe’s voice wavers slightly. “you heard me. i said five minutes and it’s been five minutes. it’s time for you to leave.” “okay i understand.” he begins to walk towards you door, but stops to tell you, “just so you know, it has always been you, y/n. i never stopped loving you.”, his voice breaking on the last word, but you just give him a slight nod before he walks out of your dorm.

you walk over to your bed and sit down, staring at the ground. a wave of emotion washes over you, and you start to sob uncontrollably, your chest heaving, feeling as if you can’t breathe. you don’t notice eve being in the room until you feel you bed dip next to you, and her arms wrap around you. you lean into her as she comforts you and tries to calm you down. you don’t know when you could ever forgive joe for what he did to you, but it certainly isn’t now.

a/n: i kinda hate this but oh well

[yandereloversblog]

𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

Random discussion I wanted to do cuz it's a shower thought about TR. It started as Bonten Mikey but it also fitted other characters and it turned into an essay >>'

Also incoming editing to these yandere discussions cuz I finally have a layout XD

Like your yandere asking you if you love them and you answering yes because Stockholm Syndrome, scared you'll get hurt more or punished and all that bullshit. Then that asshole hits you with the "Then how about we die together? Kill ourselves at the same time while holding eachother?" Cuz they're too tired to live but you huff and say no.

Before they can throw another temper tantrum/punish you you're gonna respond with "The afterlife isn't known at all, whether our souls might find each other there isn't guaranteed either, or if we'll be reincarnated at the same time. So I want to keep living with you for as long as I can and make even more memories. Maybe they'll help me find you again in our next life." And smile.

They turn so red from blushing and probably start crying cuz they think you love them so much, promising they'll make sure you two keep living together for a very long time while cuddling closely to you and clinging for dear life. Apologizing profusely about how they even brought it up and it was so insensitive to ask you to die with them when you wanted to live for such a lovely reason.

Meanwhile you're probably tied to the bed comforting them, with some will to live and escape left in you and you're not gonna let this lover's suicide trope ruin it.

Mikey for sure, that bitch just added 20 more years to his life because of this 💀 especially Bonten Mikey, like you saw light flash in his dead eyes for a minute when you were talking before he broke down crying. Kanto Mikey would break down too, a lot more queitly while clinging to you but he's sobbing and choking out apologies. I'm not even gonna bringing up Toman Mikey/Manila Mikey, cuz we know they'd start crying immediately and probably kneel for forgiveness cuz they wanted to end everything just because they were done with life when they should be greatful for even being able to breath the same air as you since you love them back.

Sanzu too, man just can't believe you actually wanna continue being with him after everything he's done. In Bonten it probably happens after Mikey fell from the roof with Takemichi and now he feels he can't protect you either but how dare you give him another reason to live? Meanwhile with Kanto and Toman Sanzu they fall in love all over again. Tbh they all probably gave you a mocking grin and said "So you finally learned." But bitch even the blind can see how he's shaking and crying without even realizing it. If you say "I love you" after that expect him to break down.

Kazutora, best way to manipulate this yandere hoe is like that, I feel like he turned so red and suddenly drank 247 energy drinks because he can't calm down or even go to sleep when remembering your words. Like do you actually mean that? Really? You love him that much? Is he even deserving of it? He was just about to let both of you rest but now his obsession got worse. Most definitely apologized for one or two hours and kept saying he loved you and would make sure you two lived as much as possible.

Izana, he might end up saying some "So you think I won't find you after we die? I'll drag you to hell with me if I have to!" But it's with a trembling voice and he's still tearing up cuz his abandonment issues are getting lowkey fixed. You wanna stay with him even after he's punished you so harshly? Of course you do, how could he doubt that you would want to die when you could live with him instead? Izana genuinely apologized for even bringing this up -ONE apology though- and he ended up giving you more privileges to breath after, probably began acting softer too.

Senju would have to be at a really low point in her life to ask that of you but you just made her do a 180 because this just confirmed you love her too right? Then as long as you want to live like that she will too! It's easy to escape her but if Senju managed to lock you down and you end up saying that to her??? Please get ready to be somewhat free again because she trusts that you love her and won't escape.

We also have Shinichiro, Chifuyu, Hakkai, Souya, Takemichi and Hinata who would fall for your words but they'd never try to do a double suicide cuz they don't want you to die or get hurt, especially not by them.

Naoto, Kakucho, Inui, Koko, Rindou, Emma, Yuzuha and Shion -Shion is kind of easily manipulated shush- would also never ask you of such a thing because they don't want to die when they have you in their life but there's a 1000% chance they fall for your words and become softer.

Meanwhile people like Draken, Ran, Mitsuya, Taiju, Baji, Muto, Nahoya, Mochi, Benkei and Kisaki are mostly moved by your words, like get that doki doki feeling but it probably was a test and you passed it with flying colors. They also don't trust you that well so nothing much changed other than they don't feel as suffocation as before.

With Hanma, Bonten Koko, Bonten Ran, Wakasa, Takeomi, South and Bad Toman Kisaki it definitely was a test and they don't believe you but are glad to know their punishments are working and you behave so well now/got Stockholm Syndrome.

[avatar-anna]

Better Off

Part Seven

Series Masterlist

I gave myself three days.

Three days to be sad and miserable, to cry and let myself feel truly heartbroken. To let everything I felt for Harry wash over me until I was hollow.

Not that anyone but myself knew that, of course. To everyone else, I was the exact same. Harry’s decision didn’t affect me in the slightest. To Sadie, to my brother Javi, to Maddie, to Harry himself, I was perfectly fine.

And after those three days, I was. I decided that I wasn’t actually in love with Harry, I couldn’t have been. I cared for him and Devon deeply, but I was caught up in everything that happened that day at the school. Emotions were heightened, and a feeling I foolishly identified as love took over my body. I was just thankful I never got the chance to tell Harry.

Days turned to weeks then weeks turned to months. I saw Harry, obviously. Devon and Maddie were in the same class, and they were still best friends. But I kept all contact with Harry strictly about play dates and the occasional question about upcoming events at school or homework assignments. In those first initial days, Harry tried to call, tried to text asking to talk, but I refused. My pride as well as my heart had been hurt when he told me we should stop seeing each other, and I couldn’t face him. He finally realized that when the only texts I responded to was a request for Maddie and Devon to play at his house.

Not seeing Devon as much killed me too. I don’t know what Harry told his son, nor did I really want to know, but I missed him as much as I missed Harry, and the little glimpses I saw of him after school or picking Maddie up from a play date was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t think I could care for someone so much, could love a child that wasn’t mine like he was, but most of the time I found myself worrying about Devon, hoping he was safe and happy.

The next time I saw Harry outside of pick up and drop off was purely coincidence.

Three months had gone by since I walked away from his doorstep, since he told me we should slow down so as not to give Devon the wrong idea about who I was to him.

I’d seen glimpses of Harry, of course, but I made sure to keep my head down and look the other way when I felt his gaze burning my skin. There were unsaid words in those glances, words I didn’t even want to entertain. So I didn’t.

Sadie seemed to be the only person who seemed to think my cool demeanor was bullshit. She never believed me when I told her I was fine, or that I thought my breakup with Harry was for the best, a good idea, even. But I never left much room for debate, so she kept her thoughts to herself for the most part.

Now she was insisting I go out, to not let my failed attempt at a relationship with Harry ruin my outlook on love or casual dating. She urged me to, “get back out there,” and to, “have some no-strings fun.” I was pretty sure she was testing my limits as much as actually urging me to see someone other than Harry, but I never called her out on it.

I had been able to put nights out off for the first two months, but now that it was post-Christmas and Maddie was spending the weekend with her grandparents, I didn’t have much of a choice.

After running into an old law school classmate who invited me to some fancy party, Sadie insisted that I go, for no other reason than to get dressed up for once. Since I wouldn’t have to pick Maddie up until the following afternoon, I virtually had no obligations for the weekend.

So I was going, even though I didn’t really want to. Sadie was at the house with me to get ready, and to make sure I actually went to the party tonight.

“I don’t think I have anything fancy enough for a party like this.”

My friend told me it was, “just a New Year’s get together,” but I knew it was much more than that. I knew the kind of friends he had as a corporate lawyer, and the location of said get together alone was enough proof that whatever I had in my closet was not sufficient.

“What’s this then?” Sadie asked. She’d been scavenging my closet for something to wear, not believing me when I told her that all I had were work clothes and jeans.

I looked from the small mirror where I’d been doing my makeup to where Sadie was standing by my closet, a brown mini dress on a hanger dangling from her hand. My head immediately shook as I took in the length and structured bust, thinking it was much too revealing for me. I bought it years ago, thinking I would have more nights out as a young mother. Reality hit soon after, and the dress had stayed in the closet ever since. I was pretty sure the tag was still on it.

“Sadie, no. It probably doesn’t even fit—”

“Nonsense, go try it on. We’re running out of time,” she insisted.

Sadie thrust the dress in my direction, and all the micro glitters caught in the yellow light of my bedroom. I took it from her hands, knowing it would be easier to show her it didn’t look good rather than argue with her about it. Shedding my robe, I stepped into the dress, the silk slip on the inside of the dress cool against my skin.

To my surprise, the dress fit. It was definitely short, but that was more the style than me outgrowing it. It didn’t even snag on my hips uncomfortably the way I thought it would. The only thing that made me hesitate was the way it accentuated my chest, which had never really changed back to its original size after having Maddie.

Looking down at where I was almost spilling out of the bust of the dress, I said, “I don’t know, Sadie. I think this is a fancier event. I look—”

“You look hot,” she said her eyes wide as she took me in. “Y/n, this—this is it, babe.”

“Really? You don’t think it’ll give Nathan the wrong idea?”

“And what would that be?”

I frowned. “That it’s a date.”

Rolling her eyes, Sadie came over and swiped a bottle of perfume off my dresser. When she held it out to me, I lifted my chin, then tilted it down so she could spray my neck and head. Taking my little clutch off the bed, she stuck the small bottle in it.

“Y/n. A former classmate—a successful lawyer, I might add—asked you to his company’s fancy New Year’s Eve party. If that doesn’t scream date, I don’t know what does.”

She was right, I knew she was. But no matter how many times I told myself and everyone around me that I was over Harry, the mere idea of going out with someone else made my stomach churn.

“Unless you don’t want it to be and are maybe wishing you were spending the holiday with someone else?” Sadie asked gently. When all I did was look down at the floor, she added, “It’s okay to miss him, Y/n. It’s okay to admit—”

“I’m fine,” I said, hoping my friend thought the conviction in my eyes was genuine. “Nathan’s not going to know what to do with himself when he sees me. Right?”

I could tell Sadie didn’t quite believe me when I said I was fine, but we'd known each other long enough to know when and when not to push. Smiling she said, “Absolutely.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The party was at a botanical garden a few miles outside of downtown, but that didn't make it any less fancy or luxurious. I almost didn’t want to hand my coat over to the coat check as I watched people wearing designer suits and dresses strut through the beautifully decorated archway, but there was a line behind me, so I shrugged it off and headed inside.

Elegant string music was playing in the garden. There were two open bars on either side of the space, dance floor taking up the middle, and dinner tables carefully placed around it. Everything was lit warmly by light bulbs hanging from above, with twinkly lights wrapped around the vines and leaves and lanterns lighting pathways throughout the garden.

Flowers were everywhere. Countless types in varying size and color decorating tables and hanging from trees and sitting in potted plants. I felt like I stepped into an alternate universe, my eyes wide as I took it all in.

“There you are!”

I startled a little. In my intense inspection of the venue, I hardly paid attention to my surroundings. Nathan was in front of me, and while I’d run into him a week ago, it was still odd to see him standing there in a suit that was tailored to perfection—a classic black suit, but with a sweater in lieu of a vest, the cuffs peaking out beneath his suit jacket.

I’d done most of my law schooling online, but the times I did have to be in person, Nathan was the person I sat with. He was kind and smart and never judged me for being a mother at my age. He helped me take notes and later became my study buddy for tests and quizzes. After a while, he’d asked me out, but I was nowhere near prepared to fit dating into my life. Maddie was just a baby and I was working to pay bills. It was one of those wrong place wrong time kind of things, and while Nathan took it well, we lost touch soon after.

Seeing him now was like going back in time. He hadn’t changed much—his dark blonde hair was still the same, except that it was a little shorter, he still sported a tiny bit of stubble around his cheeks, and his eyes were still a warm brown, like hot chocolate. His smile was genuine as he leaned in to kiss my cheek in a friendly manner, not once looking me up and down in a way that made me cringe.

“Hi,” I said, a smile of my own creeping up my face, like I couldn’t help but reciprocate.

“You look beautiful,” he breathed, then blushed, like he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Sorry, was that too forward?”

“Not at all,” I said, hiding a smile behind my hand. “I honestly feel a little under dressed.”

“You’re perfect,” he said. “Sorry, I did it again. Sorry.”

He was so nervous it was cute. Everything about him was cute. Nathan’s cheeks were flushed, but his eyes were still crinkled with a smile. I hadn’t wanted to come out tonight, but as he offered his arm to me, I was glad that I did this for myself.

“Y/n?”

And then the giddiness popped like a bubble.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“So...how do you two know each other?”

Nathan, bless his heart, was either oblivious of the awkward tension at the table or wholly ignored it, trying to fill the silence with easy questions, but his most recent one was anything but.

“Our kids go to school together.”

“We dated for four months.”

If Harry’s answer affected Nathan in any way, he didn’t show it (one of the perks of being a lawyer, I supposed). But at the mention of kids, his eyes lit up.

“How is Maddie, by the way? I haven't seen her since she was just a baby!”

The same smile that always showed up at the mention of my daughter made its way onto my face. “Great! She had a Christmas recital last week, and it was so cute. Look.”

I immediately pulled my phone out of my clutch and showed him pictures and videos of Maddie dancing with the rest of her team. Nathan watched with genuine curiosity, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watched my video of her five second solo.

“Wow, I mean...you’ve clearly got a prima ballerina in the making here,” he said.

“I know, right? And, you know, I would never make her do something she doesn’t want to do. I even tried to sign her up for soccer last week, but she just wants to dance,” I said, leaning toward him subconsciously.

My eyes widened in surprise. “Yeah. You remembered?”

“Well, she clearly gets it from her mother. You used to dance, didn’t you?”

“Of course. You—”

“So, how do you two know each other?”

Harry’s voice cut through our conversation like a lance. When I looked over, he was holding his glass with a white-knuckle grip, his green eyes hard as they bored into mine.

Not only did I not expect to see Harry tonight, but I wasn’t expecting such a reaction from him, either. I thought things were fine. I missed him a lot, but apparently we both had good poker faces whenever we briefly met for play dates.

I was used to seeing him in slacks and a dress shirt for work, but what he was wearing tonight went beyond work attire. His suit was plaid, with a bow tie of the same pattern to match. His slacks were flared at the bottom, and the vest beneath his suit jacket dipped into a low U-shape to reveal a light blue dress shirt beneath. He looked devastatingly handsome, and when I’d made eye contact with him thirty minutes ago, my breath hitched in my throat.

Looking at him so intensely now brought back the same effect, to the point where Nathan had to nudge my arm. Harry smirked at that, at the idea of rendering me speechless, but I did my best to recover.

“Um...Nathan and I had a couple of classes together in law school. He—He does corporate law, though.”

For the company Harry worked at, apparently. It was the only way to explain why he was here.

Nathan began speaking, but I had a hard time focusing. My eyes fell on the slope of Harry’s neck as he turned slightly to face Nathan, though I knew he could tell I was staring. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t, I’d only seen glimpses of him the past few months, and now I was taking him in properly. He hadn't shaved in a while, stubble darkening the lower part of his face. I absolutely loved his facial hair, had made it clear to him in the moments we were alone together in his bed.

And his suit fit perfectly too. I'd come to learn that Harry had a taste for expensive, well-made clothes, and this suit was the pinnacle of his interest. The sleeves of his suit jacket hugged his shoulders, accentuating the muscles in his arms. I could only imagine what his legs looked like while he was sitting, the muscles in his thighs straining against the fabric. My toes curled as my thoughts wandered about Harry, even when my date was right next to me. It had to be that he was dressed up, it had to be, otherwise, I would’ve been able to exert a little self-control—”

Something brushed against my leg at the table.

At first I thought one of the other women sitting here was crossing their legs and I got caught up in it, but then it happened again, and that was certainly not a heel.

My eyes widened as my neck flushed hot. Harry wasn’t looking at me at all, but he tested his face in his hand as he listened to Nathan, almost like he was hiding a smile. Then a dimple flashed as the brush went higher, from my ankle to my calf, and brushing against my knee until I quickly clasped my legs together to keep his foot in place.

Only my actions jolted the table, and now everyone sitting around it was staring at me.

“You okay?” Nathan asked, his brow wrinkled with concern.

“Y—Yes. Sorry, I—I just wanted to get up and grab a drink, and I—my knee hit the table. I’m sorry, excuse me.”

Nathan offered to get a drink for me, but I declined. I needed to put some distance between myself and the table, between myself and the menace sitting across from me.

As I walked away, I called Sadie, praying she picked up. Thankfully, she did.

“He’s here!” I hissed.

“Who?” she asked, though it was hard to hear her on the other side of the call.

“Who do you think?” I replied.

“Harry? Oh shit!”

“Yes, and he’s playing fucking footsie with me under the table while my date is right next to—”

“So you are on a date.”

It was so similar to Sadie’s reply, I almost didn’t take note of it, but I could feel him behind me, the smell of his cologne invading my senses and not helping my frenzied state at all.

“Y/n? You there?”

“I have to go,” I said, before hanging up and facing Harry. With an attitude I didn’t necessarily feel, I said, “Am I not allowed to go on dates?”

Harry shrugged like he didn’t care, and I briefly wondered how much of it was an act, if he had to put up a cool in front of his friends and family too. “You are, I just think it’s rude to ogle someone who’s not your date.”

Frowning, I said, “I was not ogling.”

His brows raised as if to say, really? “Don’t lie, Y/n. It’s unbecoming.”

Before I could respond, it was my turn at the bar. “Two shots of tequila, please.”

Harry’s brows raised further, but didn’t say anything. When the bartender slid two full shots of tequila towards me, Harry reached for one, but I smacked his hand away, drinking both in quick succession before ordering a margarita with a double shot.

“You took those like a champ,” he said before ordering something himself. Before I could get my credit card out of my clutch, Harry was sliding his own across the table and motioning to the bartender that he was covering my tab.

Instead of complaining, I said, “In that case, one more shot please. Don Julio blanco.”

Harry rolled his eyes but didn’t object, flashing two fingers to let the bartender know he wanted one as well. “Cheers,” he mumbled, clinking my glass against his.

When we were done and both had our drinks, we walked back toward our table. Before we sat down, though, I stopped him. We were just out of earshot of our table, so I spoke freely.

“You broke up with me,” I said. Harry looked like he wanted to say something, but I held up a hand, my arm already feeling a little heavy from the tequila. “You broke up with me, and I respected your reasoning. Please respect me and my date.”

“Come on, Y/n, really? You’re telling me that you’d rather go home with that guy than—”

“I never said I was going home with anyone. I said he was my date,” I said, stepping away from him.

Harry clearly saw his mistake. “I know, but come on, Y/n—”

“But nothing," I said, trying my best to ignore the hitch in my voice. "And it’s none of your business either way, Harry. Just leave us be,” I said. I left him standing there, mumbling under my breath, “In love with him my ass. More like in irritation with him.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The rest of the night, I did my best to avoid Harry. My heart still stung at being rejected before I even had the chance of truly opening up to someone in a way I never had before. No amount of flirting or lusting glances would change that.

So I drank. I drank and I laughed and I pretended that I wasn't fully aware of Harry's eyes on me the whole time.

Whether it was because he sensed the tension between Harry and me, or he just understood the general feeling of not wanting to be around an ex, Nathan happily avoided Harry with me. We talked and danced, catching up on the last few years. I asked him about his job and I told him about mine and all about Maddie. It was easy to forget about everything else happening around me when I got to brag about my daughter, and having Madison at the forefront of my mind kept my head clear.

Nathan was ever the gentleman, almost exactly like I remembered him from school. He was sweet and cute and kind, but anytime I caught him glancing down at my lips, I found an excuse to slip away to the bathroom for another drink. I just...wasn't attracted to him that way, though part of me wished I was. Nathan was safe. He had a steady job, he didn't have a kid enrolled in the same school as mine, he should've been the one I was attracted to, the one I wanted to kiss at midnight.

But he just wasn't.

"I think I should probably head home," I told him. It was half an hour before midnight, and I didn't want the awkwardness of rejecting any advances at the countdown tonight. "I have to be up early to pick up Maddie."

A lie, but Nathan bought it thankfully.

"Of course, I totally understand," he said, and I felt a little bad for lying to him. "Can I call you an Uber?"

"Oh no. I got it. It was great seeing you, Nathan."

Nathan smiled and leaned in to give me a hug. "I hope things work out with him," he said softly.

My whole body froze. I immediately felt bad. Clearly, he could tell that my mind was in two places tonight. "I—"

"It's fine, Y/n. I'm just glad we got to catch up. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

I left shortly after that in a daze. I didn't even know if I wanted things to work out with Harry, but Nathan clearly saw something I didn't. Even so, I was much too inebriated to think that deeply. In all honesty, I was surprised I was still walking around in my heels.

Away from the party, all the alcohol I'd consumed tonight seemed to catch up with me. I fumbled with my phone, only to drop it in the grass outside the garden where the party still continued. Muttering under my breath, I started to crouch down to look for it when a hand gently grabbed my arm.

"I got it."

I watched with bleary eyes as Harry turned the flashlight on his phone on to find mine. I was too cold and too tipsy to protest, so I let him, thanking him quietly when he handed it over.

"Need a ride?"

Harry didn't ask where Nathan was, or why I was leaving the party by myself, which I was thankful for. The sensible thing to do would've been to say no, to tell him I was fine on my own, but I just nodded quietly and let him lead me to his car.

It was painfully silent. Even drunk, I could feel it. Harry opened the door for me without a word, and kept up the silent treatment as he peeled away from the party. The quiet skittered over my skin in a way that had me shifting in the expensive leather seats of Harry's car. I couldn't handle it, couldn't suffer through the silence all the way back to my house.

"How...How's Devon?"

Perhaps it wasn't my place to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of in the moment. And I wanted to know how he'd been doing since his episode at the school. He seemed fine the few brief moments I saw him, but I tried to keep my distance out of respect for Harry's wishes.

"Okay for the most part. His grandparents want custody now, and they...they could actually pull it off."

"I'm so sorry, Harry." Hesitantly, I rested my hand over his, an offering of friendly comfort.

I was surprised Harry was so forthcoming about his situation at home, but I also knew he didn't have many people he talked to about all of this. My heart broke for him and Devon. I knew how hard Harry was working to win this custody battle, to give his son the life he deserved. Nothing about Harry and Devon's situation was fair, which made me partly understand why he asked to slow things down between us. I knew he had a lot going on in his life, I just wished I hadn't grown so attached.

"I understand why you did it, Harry. I just..."

"Me too," he said, voice clipped, like he was trying to hold all of his emotions in. Clearing his throat and putting the hand beneath mine on the steering wheel, he said, "And—And I'm sorry for ending things so abruptly. I should have—"

"Just what?" he asked.

My voice trailed off. I wasn't ready to have this conversation. I didn't know if I ever wanted to have it. Because not admitting just how deep my feelings went for him saved me a lot of embarrassment, saved me from the realization that perhaps I was the only one who felt that way. I had been prepared to open up to Harry that day three months ago, but even in my drunken state I wouldn't say the words aloud.

I shook my head, opting to look out the car window instead of answering him. I shouldn't have said anything at all.

"He misses you," Harry said quietly.

"I miss him too," I said, blinking rapidly.

My eyelids grew heavy then, about as heavy as my heart felt.

Before, the cat-and-mouse game Harry and I played was frustrating and annoying and enticing all at once. He drove me crazy, but he excited me too. There were hints of it tonight at the party, but I couldn't bring myself to play along. Not when I knew there would be no end I would be satisfied with. There were still feelings and words left unsaid, but the things Harry was dealing with were bigger than my feelings, and while that was a tough pill to swallow, I had to find a way to do it. For Devon's sake.

I rested my head against the window, the glass cool against my forehead. The road ahead was smooth enough that I was being lulled to sleep, and I didn't try to fight it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry, who looked so handsome in his suit. I wondered if he knew he didn't have to carry the weight of everything he was dealing with on his own. I hoped he had someone to talk to. I hoped he would be alright.

"I just thought I was in love with you."

The words were slurred, practically jumbled together as the hum of the car's engine lulled me to sleep.

[saintsir4n]

7. FALLING

thank you for the support

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF MENTAL HEALTH

"DON'T tell me you're fallin' in love, it's been what, a couple of weeks?"

"I am, he gets me you know," Carson gushed, speaking quietly to Keelie. "Sounds like bullshit I know, but word to God, I'm serious."

Fortunately, the nail salon wasn't busy so only five other people were being tended to.

Keelie huffed out a laugh, "The dick that good?"

"It's the best," Brian was probably the best she ever had. It was only two days since their date and they couldn't stop, he caught her whenever and wherever.

All the time she spent with him, she noticed a lot. He was quite jumpy, and anxious, especially when it came to his phone. Very cagy about his past and she knew to respect that even though it drove her to overthink.

"White boy got it like that?" Keelie was shocked, she'd never seen her friend act so enamoured about a guy.

In the past, Carson was very naive, and way too trusting, so she hoped that history wasn't repeating itself.

Carson giggled, "He really does. Girl, he talks me through it."

Keelie instantly choked on air, "He what?"

"You heard me."

"He's vocal?" Keelie lowered her tone, making sure the customers couldn't hear much to their disappointment. Carson nodded in response. "Damn."

"Voice husky and everythin', he puts it down, lifts me up, keeps me hooked even if he's just starin', he knows he's got some sort of power over me. Drive's me crazy, I swear.”

“He’s packin’ right? He has to be with that shit eatin’ grin.”

“Respect me, I wouldn’t settle for no little dick,” Carson’s response had them both snickering.

The friends abruptly looked up when the shop bell rang and Brian walked in, eyes immediately landing on Carson.

"Ladies," he nodded at a few of them as he walked by, greeted Keelie before leaning over the counter and pressing a few kisses to Carson's lips making the customers awww in the background. Keelie moved away to help them. "You good baby?" she nodded, noting the irritation in his eyes, but before she could say anything he asked, "You get your nails done?" she nodded again, showing them off to him. He pulled out a 50-dollar bill and put it next to her.

She looked shocked, "You don't have to."

"I want to," Brian insisted, still not smiling.

He's annoyed, she realised.

"You ready to go, your shift is done right?" Brian questioned.

"It's done," she replied, "I'll go get my stuff."

He nodded, watching her go into the back, then sighing when he heard Keelie's voice.

"I'm watchin' you," she warned, walking passed.

He snapped his head, looking in her direction as she picked up a new electric file, "I didn't do nothin'."

"Tell that to my third eye," Keelie took note of his annoyance, wondering why he was so worked up.

Brain didn't respond.

Carson came back, with her bag in hand and immediately saw how riled he was.

"Yo, Keke what did you say to him?" she asked, coming up to Brian who put his arm around her.

"Nothin', I only said hi. Didn't I Eminem?" Keelie taunted, sitting down in front of a regular.

"Yeah, Lil' Kim's right," Brian jabbed, making the whole store laugh.

Even Carson smiled, sticking her tongue out at Keelie who flipped him off.

Brian whispered something as they walked out and onto the street, "Come on, I gotta show you somethin' before we meet the team."

"What is it?" she wondered.

His ringtone disrupted his response. He pulled out his phone, keeping it close to his chest and ignored the ring.

She squinted at him, "Brian?"

His phone started to ring again, just as they reached his truck.

"Is that your mom or somethin'?" she pressed.

"What? No, it's just..." he trailed off, annoyed by the constant ringing and switched off his phone, but that only irritated Carson more.

She shrugged off his arm, "Do you have some secret life you're not tellin' me about Brian?" she was frustrated and he hated that he was making her feel that way. "Do you have a wife, kids, some white picket fence?"

He tried taking her hand but she didn't let him, "Baby, calm down, it's nothin'."

"Then why do you look tense?"

"Because you questionin' me alright? Nothing's wrong, I'm good, you good?" he didn't mean to snap at her. He'd never done it before.

Carson took a step back, looking him up and down. Why's he acting like this? her annoyed gaze settled on something she hadn't noticed before.

"Yo, what happened to your hand?"

It was red and slightly blotchy.

Brain flexed his fist and shook his head, "It's nothin'."

"Was it Vince, did you get in the ring with him again or somethin'?" she was met with silence, "Just answer the question."

"I just did," he breathed out. "Trust me, I'm tense 'cause everythin' is on top of me at the moment. I have bad days and good days like everyone else"

She had to ask, "And your phone?"

"It's Harry," he rushed out, "I left my shift early to come and see you, to spend to with you."

"Okay," she didn't have anything else to say.

He groaned, "Don't be like that, lemme show you want I got you."

Carson just nodded, watching him unlock the truck and pull open the passenger seat, retrieving the present he got for her.

She gasped when she saw the jewel-encrusted sunshine ornament. She remembered telling him about it on their date but she didn't think he was listening.

"Y-you... how?"

"I kept an eye out," he carefully placed it in her hands. "Just wanted to make you happy."

It cost nothing, but it meant everything.

She clutched it tightly, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

"Thank you, baby."

And it was like everything was forgotten.

So Brian smiled and embraced her tightly, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Let's get outta here."

__

The next day Carson squealed when she saw her car, more importantly, the engine that looked like it cost 15k. Jesse even claimed to have tweaked a few things, things she didn't notice before. She couldn't believe it. Her flashy rims, the turbine, and the compressor were fixed and the stereo was finally working again too.

"Like it?" Jesse asked with a proud smirk.

"Like it? you did this before street wars and whilst you were fixing the Supra?" she gawked, eyes blinking rapidly at the shiny parts.

He sheepishly shrugged, "Had to do it for you. The rims were the easiest to do. The engine took some time but it was nothin'. Speakers are all set. Check them out, you'll love it, drivin' down sunset blarin' them to the car Gods."

She laid a fat kiss on his cheek and hugged him.

"I love you, you know that? The biggest, bestest and brightest," she listed, beaming at the car.

"I love you too, now lemme get back to the Supra. Go paint your Charger, I know the designs will be sick."

Jesse left her to her own devices. Carson put down the hood, then reached into her pocket to add the last addition.

She slid into the front seat, slid off the plastic and placed the sunshine ornament on the dashboard, it stuck very easily.

"I hope you love it, Dad," she whispered, wishing he was here.

After a moment she jumped out, blew a kiss at the car and walked around the garage, finding the paint she was going to use for the designs, then pulled out her sketchbook and some overalls to protect her fit. She got lost in her own world when she started, everything was going to plan.

She felt so blessed.

So what could go wrong?

She heard some of the guys talking from the distance but she didn't pay much attention.

She barely flinched when she felt someone kneel behind her and wrap an arm around her shoulder pausing her painting.

"Hey blondie," she greeted him as he kissed her cheek.

"Looking good," Brian nodded to the design. Every time he saw her work, whether it was in her sketchbook or some other street racer's car, it made him wonder why she never did this professionally, just like Jesse. Art school or engineering.

She leaned into his hold, "Thank you."

They talked for a while, she asked if his hand was okay, but was told that it was nothing to worry about. He kept saying she would win any race she would enter and couldn't wait to see it happen, all while taking some pictures of them.

He had pictures of the pair of them all over his phone.

Pulling her from the ground, he cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers. The feeling coursing through their veins wasn't foreign anymore. They embraced it like a warm hug. It was light yet intense.

When she went to move away he squeezed her sides.

Carson's laughter caught Dom's attention and he stood by the entrance, but neither of them saw him yet.

"Check it," Brian tried taking the paintbrush from her but she ended up getting some of the excess paint on his shirt.

"That's what you get," she mused.

"Oh, that's what I get?" He wiped the rest of the paint on her overalls, earning a fierce glare.

Finally seeing a displeased Dom standing off to the side, Brian shifted back slightly.

"Need a cigarette," he murmured.

Carson's brows furrowed, "Didn't you say you quit?" damn he must be stressed.

"I have to make a parts run 'round Simi Valley for Harry," Brian dismissed her question, looking directly at Dom.

"Drive safe," The Torretto man said with indifference.

"Bye, Sonny," Brian breezed passed Dom, after kissing her goodbye.

Carson stood there awkwardly, Dom continued to stare at her, and she didn't understand why.

"I had a guy on the phone, said you hadn't finished his design yet," he expressed, breaking the silence.

"I'm on it."

"Are you, 'cause you seem distracted?" There was a lot of judgment in his tone.

She scoffed, "Get off my back. If I say I'll finish the design I'll finish the design," she put down the paintbrush and frowned, "Brian's not a distraction. I thought you liked him."

"Me likin' him got nothin' to do with anythin'. Just focus," he always said the same thing to both her and Mia. His sister for school and Carson for her occupation. He knew that his godsister was falling in love with the guy, they all did, it so was obvious. "You wanna win big at race wars right? Make sure you keep your head straight."

She huffed, "First Vince, then Brian, now you, must be somethin' in the water right? Why are you all in my grill? Just mind your business."

"You're my business. Always have been, always will!" he yelled, causing her to walk out of the garage in a huff, "And don't you forget that!"

__

Later that day, Carson stood proud, grinning at the finished product of her car, trying to forget all the stress and worries she felt. She was happy. I'm happy, she kept telling herself. The team congratulated her for creating such a beauty before leaving to go and see Dom and Brian drive off in the completed Supra.

She tried not to overthink. Everything was going to plan, right? But the feeling in her stomach was growing.

Carson wanted to ignore it but her dad always told her to listen to her gut.

The sun was fading and she knew it was time to get back to her shared apartment. Letty had dipped, Mia was studying, Vince and Leon were inside whilst Jesse with stuck in his head working on the computer.

In the corner of her eye, Carson caught the orange Supra pulling up the garage.

Brian and Dom were talking intently about something, she couldn't get a good read on either of them, with their shades being on but she was too tired to even try.

"Yo Summer, where's everyone?" Dom asked, noticing her furrowed brows. The garage was scarce and Jesse didn't look up at the sound of his voice.

Brian smiled as he walked over to her since she didn't look too happy and he instantly felt a sense of dread.

"Inside," was all she had to say, "I'm bouncin'," she went to move but Brian caught her keyless hand, "Yeah?" Dom left the pair alone and eventually, Jesse joined him, finally snapping out of his trance and wanting to badger him about the sweet ride. "I gotta go, Brian."

"Why don't I come with you?" He suggested, with a smirk playin' at his lips.

"Won't your Sylvanian family be blowin' up your cell?" He laughed but she was serious as hell. "I've got work in the mornin' you know?"

"I won't keep you up and my phone will stay on silent. I promise," he came closer, pulling off his shades and staring into her eyes. The sun's falling rays struck her iris' had it stirred something inside of him. "I just wanna hold you, Sonny," he whispered as she scrunched her nose, making him cup her chin and peck her lips a few times. "We'll get some beauty sleep together. Okay?"

His words were making her trip and fall over any gut feeling.

So she agreed, "Okay. But we're just gonna sleep," she warned him as he pulled open the driver seat, letting her get in before jogging over to the passenger side. He gently shut the door, eyes lighting up at the ornament on the dashboard. "Only sleepin'."

Brian nodded, watching her start the engine, "A good night's rest and my beautiful girl to hold onto, not a bad way to live," he said softly, earning the cheesiest smile from her, "That's all I want."

"And that's what you've got."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

a/n:

https://pin.it/1s5Uvmk (how i imagine her car to look, obviously with huge bratz doll silhouettes across the sides) it's funny because her street name at this point is "barbie" but that won't stop her from doing what she wants. and what's cute is brian's street name is "bullit" so we've got bullit and barbie.

https://pin.it/1c7m5sX (how i imagine the sunshine ornament to be but without the moon). in the behind the scenes videos of this film, the director wanted no rearview mirrors in the car, because he wanted it to be as accurate to the street racing culture of the time, so carson doesn't have one. so just imagine the gift sticking to the dashboard. 

some more angst in this chapter between brian and carson. the way he caught an attitude with our girl was disrespectful but of course, all it took was a gift to calm her down. it's sad i know but it's all part of the build-up. carson loves love and even though she knows something is up she'll tell herself to be delusional for a little longer and let him "hold her".

i've been getting a few messages about how often i update but it states multiple times that i publish every sunday (even check the first few chapters pls!)

also with the mature scenes that i write, pls prevent yourself from saying "robbed" or "call 911". what i write should be enough and it gets annoying when i see things like that. as stated in my bio, don't comment on any of my stories if you're a minor!

-

[wildissylupus]

Reply to @lovingoverwatchguys

Loved your post!! Thank you for tagging me in it, you made so many good points! I agree with you on a lot of what you said and there were a couple things that stuck with me!

A realization that I have come to that has always been bouncing around my head is that Cassidy and Jack or on the same path but going in different directions. The way Jack is acting right now is very similar to how Cassidy has been implied to have acted when he first joined Blackwatch, angry, distrusting of other, violent, all the while still having that slim sliver of hope. Meanwhile Cassidy has been implied to be one of the next leaders of Overwatch, doing what Jack did and personally offering a place in Overwatch to those he think could help.

There is one thing I do want to point out and that is I don't think Cassidy is mad at Jack for not telling people he was alive, if that was the case he would be mad at Ana too, which he is but it isn't because she didn't tell people she was alive it's because of her past treatment of Pharah. I believe the reason Cassidy is mad at Jack is that Jack didn't listen to Cassidy when he warned Jack that something was happening with Gabe. Something that always stuck out to me was the fact it was Cassidy recounting what happened in Rialto, not Gabe.

We see what he recounts in the trailer for Retribution and even then Gabriel is dodging Jack's questions, asking if he's sure he wants to here the story, talking about plausible deniability, the fact that in the actual event it's Cassidy narrating and not Gabriel implies to me that Cassidy gave the more detailed account. Not only that but at the end of the trailer Jack asks, "What about you, anything to add?"

To which Cassidy responds, "Where do you want me to start?"

In contrast to Gabriel, Cassidy doesn't waltz around the issue, he gets straight to the point and as we see in Retribution, Cassidy gave a recount of everything. So it reasonable to believe that after this moment Cassidy would have been making sure Jack knew what was happening with Gabriel. Especially since after and during Retribution you can clearly tell that Cassidy lost a lot of trust in Gabriel.

So how did Gabriel get as bad as he did even with Cassidy telling Jack what was going on after the events of Retribution? That's simple, Jack has been shown, even now, to see the best in Gabe.

I like your idea of Cassidy being the one to get Jack to talk about Gabriel and helping Jack move on, because something I think I have talked about before is that Cassidy has gone through this type of situation before back in Deadlock. Cassidy was betrayed by Julian and was put into a situation where it was very likely he could have died if it wasn't for Ashe, Frankie and B.O.B.

Which leads me into, Cassidy has shown to be more willing to kill Reaper than Jack has. Cassidy saw the way Gabriel fell, he's also gone through this kind of betrayal before, he's also the blueprint when it comes to redemption being the first character in lore to go through and complete that kind of arc. He knows you can't force someone to redeem themselves, they need to choose that path, and yes he does view the old Gabriel fondly but again, he's been though this before.

I can honestly see Cassidy and Jack talking about Gabriel and bonding over they're grief but I also see that during one of those conversations Cassidy comes to the conclusion that he is the only one that can kill Reaper if it gets to that point.

Because yes, he still has a connection to Gabriel but he has his own team to worry about now. I think Cassidy is very much a "Forgive but don't Forget", he knows that holding onto anger does more harm then good, he saw what happened to Gabriel, what happened to Genji, so he's not going to make that mistake, but he's also not enough of an idiot to trust someone blindly after they've pulled some bullshit.

Honestly I think the future of Cassidy and Jacks relationship is going to be incredibly interesting, if not tragic. Combine that with the stuff that you've talked about with Tracer and I can certainly say I am not prepared for the Story Missions, I am most certainly going to cry.

Wow, this is way longer than I expected it to be, I hope it made sense!!

[bitch-butter]

not to be weird or anything but "three hour long montage of men talking about Important Things in rooms" is so you. Like, I was nodding along because it made so much sense haha

What's your fav movies you had seen so far this year, and why?

w o o f that's hard because i feel like this year has been so slow to start movie-wise! i'm really happy it's summer now, because this is typically when all the movies i'm really excited for start opening, but things won't get really crazy until fall so a lot of the movies i've actively sought out this year have been horror lol so for my own piece of mind i'll back it up to Exactly a year to highlight some movies that i really, really responded to so it doesn't seem like i Just consume darkness lol

being really annoying about movies under the cut

oppenheimer (2023) - see prev Showing Ass post

reality (2023) - a Very scary movie that if you live in america you should watch, because not only is it told impeccably but it's actually shocking how few people actually remember Reality Winner given the fact that this story is only a few years old. sydney sweeney is incredible in this.

skinamarink (2022) - a Divisive horror movie that truly did get so much shit but the way it scared the hell out of me remembering being a kid left alone in a house with just a TV cannot be described.

renfield (2023) - me and my gf dressed as vampires to go to this movie, it was a laugh riot from beginning to end and nic cage deserves 77 awards, best dracula since gary oldman.

nope (2022) - 100% more scared of monkeys than i am of aliens, jordan peele call me to talk to me about our national fixation on spectacle and also Westerns.

tár (2022) - what a f u c k i n g movie this was, i saw it with my best friend on a visit to Omaha and we screamed the entire time. i love a Complicated film that wants to explore the intersections of bad people making good art, the gender studies major that still lives within me was losing it watching this movie.

pamela, a love story (2023) - this is your typical Netflix documentary, meaning there isn't a whole lot of New information that they give, but any opportunity given to us to reexamine a woman that was unfairly maligned i think is a very, very good opportunity. and pamela is a great writer, and seems like a very lovely (again, complicated) person, so i enjoyed getting to see her overcome some bullshit.

women talking (2022) - i really think i cried the entire movie when i first saw it, and i watched it again recently and did the same thing so i think it holds up. really excellent performances, even if its a very talky movie it also has a really potent atmosphere and it So effectively builds horror into hope by the end.

AND nothing compares (2022) - this is timely, because we lost shuhada sadaqat aka sinéad o'connor yesterday, and i was just recently thinking about this documentary and how much i loved it and how i should rewatch it. it's so sensitive to her, and takes her thoughts and feelings Seriously, and that made me very emotional to see as someone who remembers her being made into a fucking joke my entire childhood. it isn't a Perfect doc, but i value it very much, especially now.

really really pumped for: Dune Part II, The Last Voyage of the Demeter, Killers of the Flower Moon (funny story: this past weekend my best friend ran into lily gladstone at the grocery store and apparently she was So nice lol) and Barbie (seeing it this weekend for my birthday, very , very, very excited).

thank you for asking ~ 🖤

[squishyfruitloop]

Buckle up, bitches. Because I'm about to tell you a story.

I've known I was queer since high school, but due to some DEEPLY INGRAINED homophobic opinions (🖕you, traditional Christianity) I refused to admit it until YEARS later. Like after uni later. The way it kind of came out to my mum and sister (the only ones in the family to know) wasn't the best way to tell them (bundled up in an argument and some revelations about some traumatic ass shit that happened--s****l a*****t). I had my first real girlfriend after that. Younger than me, but not by too much. Her mum and I worked at the video store together, and we'd hang out as a group and watch new films (mum was way older). Almost a year later, we broke up. Oh well...

As an adult, I've embraced who I am. I'm not out to my family because of the whole BURN IN HELL YOU SINNER bullshit that they practice (not you know "love your neighbor" and Jesus said "STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE"). My students take one look at me and go, yep. QUEER SCHOOL MUM! They know they're safe to talk to me. About 3.5 years ago... maybe a little longer... I started to realize I was also poly. Now, I'd met and become engaged to my husband at that point (three year anniversary yesterday, boy buddy--got married on the 13th). But that's how I felt. It took a while for me to tell him.

Since then, I've had a couple relationships. My now wife--yeah, my wife--is my other best friend. We met because of Tumblr. Because of one of my Young Bucks fan fics on my writing blog ("I sat bolt upright in bed and realized THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A KID NAMED RJ"). We bonded over our love of wrestling and Fozzy and classic rock. We wrote a whole thing over Tumblr message that is basically the reason we're together (Jericho really IS the cupid of rock). She is EVERYTHING I could ever have asked for and more. Yeah, she's hot and sexy and fine AF. Yeah, she's funny and makes me laugh and reminds me that being my unique self is amazing. Yeah, she is an amazing mum in her own right and loves and cares for everyone around her. Yeah, she's like me and a little slutty (a lot slutty) for Daddy Jericho. But the best thing about being with my wife? The absolutely best thing?

Every single day, she makes me be a better version of myself. She shows me kindness and grace and respect and sacrifice. She sees me, hears me, tells me hard truths when I need to hear them. She allows me to be vulnerable and trusts me to be supportive of her vulnerability. She holds up a mirror that reflects who I WANT to be.

And that means being honest. It means facing my doubts and my jealousy and being able to recognize that yes, I have a mental health disorder that makes my emotions hard to regulate in personal relationships. But no, that isn't an excuse for not taking ownership of how my emotions affect my behaviors and then affect others.

She gives me courage. Courage to fly 3,000 miles to a country where I knew no one but her where I stayed for a week. She makes sacrifices for me and our relationship just as I do, too. She fights for us. WE fight for US. Our Family.

In short, my wife is my person. She is the place I feel safest letting down my walls and showing who I am. (Husband too, of course, but this ain't about you,boy buddy, so stop being so diva). @spaghetti-hoop, I love you with all my heart. Forever and ever. Amen.

P.S. Also, who gives a fuck if baldy saw the end of Schitt's Creek? He doesn't get to wear gorgeous headbands like Alexis and definitely wouldn't know how to respond to...

[explodcor]

Anonymous said: “I don't know anything about your relationship I'll admit, you guys could be the best couple besides Midoriya and Uraraka, but considering your personality I'm... Concerned for lack of a better word.

Speaking of which, how's your... "Friendship" with Midoriya been lately? I saw you two getting along better than usual, did you find a new human punching bag for your abusive tendencies? Perhaps in the form of Momo? She does have trouble with being assertive sometimes so I wouldn't be surprised if someone like you took advantage of that.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, hahhh?!” Katsuki snarled low in his throat. If looks could kill, the greyface would be dead ten times over. Sure, he could get irritated by small things, but the level of anger he felt right now went way beyond that. He was seething. He could feel his hands start to tremble. “You can take your concern and shove it up your ass!”

“Yeah, I did some shit to Izuku in the past that I’m not proud of, but I’ve apologized for it and he knows how much I’ve changed since then!” he hissed. “You honestly fuckin’ think I’d abuse someone I love?! What kind of fucked up shit is that?! Who the fuck are you to judge me for shit Izuku and I have already settled?”

“And Momo isn’t some weak damsel in distress--” he added through gritted teeth. “If I was actually trying to hurt her, she’d kick my ass.”  

“Instead of harassing me with your bullshit, go fuck off!”

OOC: I’ll be honest. This type of anon message is bordering on uncomfortable to me. I’m not sure what your intentions are, but if I get another anon message like this, I’m not going to respond. 

[angelofdarknessss]

Beautiful Sinner

Chapter 1: Why? Previous Parts: Prologue 2/2

Next Part: CH-2 Word Count: 3,426 Main Pairing: Toko Fukawa x gen!neutral reader Summary: Things seem to get more and more strange Author note: I meant to post this a day after I posted this chapter on ao3 but I forgot...hahaha SORRY. also happy late new year againn

The words echoed in your head like an empty room.

“You must kill someone if you want to leave” …..You couldn’t talk. There was nothing that needed to be said. In fact, there was nothing said for a few minutes, the only thing that spoke were everyone’s eyes. Just looking into them, you could almost hear “…Are they going to try to kill me?”

The air felt so heavy, so thick you could cut it with a knife. But as thick as the air felt… a sharp voice was able to pierce right through it. It belonged to that lavender haired girl…Kyoko.

“So? What are you going to do now? Just stand around glaring at each other?”

Her pointed comment was directed at everyone in the room. It seemingly helped everyone pull them back into reality.

Taka perked up at this. “R-Right... She's right!... Sometimes, even if you're nervous or afraid, you just have to step forward!” He said confidently, though It looked like he was about to cry. “To forget such a simple fact... I can't forgive myself. I'm so ashamed! Please, someone hit me! I can't forgive myself! Somebody hit me! Punish me!”

Mondo grunts in response. “Jesus. If you have time to yell about it, you have time to DO something about it.”

“Perhaps, but...what is the mission, exactly?” Hifumi whimpers. “Idiot! To look for a way out, duh!” Leon responded.

“And we totally need to find out whoever was controlling that stupid bear and beat the hell out of 'em.” Junko angrily stated.

“...B-But before we do all that, maybe we should look at the handbook... It's probably best to check out the school regulations Monokuma mentioned before doing anything else.” Chihiro said. She was right about that…Mondo was almost killed a few minutes ago because he unknowingly broke one of the rules.

“Ah…that’s right… we should probably take a look at that now…I don’t want to get blown up.” You said as you glanced over at Mondo.

Junko sighed in response. “Fine. Then let's hurry up and check out the stupid rules already.”

You turned on your e-Handbook, the first thing that appeared was your name. From the main menu that popped up, you selected the School Regulations icon. An itemized list appears on-screen, it was the rules being imposed on us.

Students may reside only within the school. Leaving campus is an unacceptable use of time.

"Nighttime" is from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Some areas are off-limits at night, so please exercise caution.

Sleeping anywhere other than the dormitory will be seen as sleeping in class and punished accordingly.

With minimal restrictions, you are free to explore Hope's Peak Academy at your discretion.

Violence against Headmaster Monokuma is strictly prohibited, as is destruction of surveillance cameras.

Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate unless they are discovered.

Additional school regulations may be added as necessary.

You were starting to feel nervous again, you lifted your head from the screen and saw the same stormy expression on the other’s faces…including Makoto.

“This… this is…I don’t…what….” You started to stutter. You just couldn’t seem to gather your words right now. Your words were interrupted by a piercing yell coming from Mondo. “This is bullshit! What the hell kinda rules are these!? I'm not gonna let them control ME!”

Celeste giggled into her hand. “Well then, why don't you wander around the school without a care in the world and see what happens? Personally, I would love to see what happens when someone breaks one of the rules.”

“But if he got punished like what we saw before, I don't think there'd be a respawn waiting for him...” Hifumi nervously said. Mondo was silent for a few seconds.

“…..”

“I... Ever since I was a kid, I grew up with my older brother pounding this into my head... When a man makes a promise, he has to keep it, even if it kills him.”

“…So what?” Junko crosses her arms. “I've made a ton of promises that I still have to keep, that's "so what"! Mondo clenches his fist in anger. “So I can't afford to die in here!”

Celeste toys with hair as she looks away from him, looking uninterested. “None of that made much sense to me, but you are saying you will follow the regulations, is that it?” Mondo looks stunned for a second before scratching the back of his head slightly embarrassed. “Huh? Oh, well...yeah, I guess you're right.”

“Hey, um...I have a question. For regulation number six...what do you think it means exactly?” Sayaka softly spoke up. That rule she was referring to was… “Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate unless they are discovered.”

“You're talking about the second half, right? Where it says, "unless they are discovered"? I was wondering about that myself.” Makoto said. “I was wondering about that one too…what do you think it means?” You followed up.

Byakuya answered for us. “It's saying that if you want to graduate, you have to kill someone without anyone finding out it was you.” Toko shivered. “B-But why...? Why do we h-have to do that?”

“I don't see any reason to worry about it. Just worry about following the rules as they've been explained to us.” He crosses his arms. “Frankly, I don't want to hear anything from someone who waits for others to decide what to do for them.”

“D-Don't jab at me...” She responds while blushing lightly. You couldn’t tell if she was happy or upset over that comment.

Aoi confidently clenches her fists. “Now that we know the rules, let's start exploring the school!”

Ex…exploring?..... right now?..to be honest you were too shaken up STILL about everything that just happened. You don’t understand how this can fuel anyone to do anything. That and… you were worried about exploring this massive school possibly alone knowing that there could be someone lurking… just waiting to kill you. You weren’t gonna go down without a fight for sure but…its still horrifying to think about.

Both Leo and Taka agreed. “True. We need to find out where exactly we are. Is there any way out? What about food and supplies? There are tons of questions we need to answer!”

“Damn straight! Okay, then let's all start looking around!” Leon replied

“...I'll be going alone.” Byakuya states flatly. “What!? Why? That's a pretty stupid idea, don't you think?” Junko criticizes him.

“Someone here might already have started thinking about murdering one of us. Are you saying we should stand around with them in our midst and make it that much easier for them?”

“W-Wait, hold on a second. That would never—!”

Byakuya cuts off Sayaka almost immediately, following with a stern, serious expression painted on his face. “Don't bother saying it couldn't happen. You can't deny the possibility. That's why you all seized up with fear when that graduation rule was made clear to you.” He cockily smiles. “Am I wrong?”

“B-But......”

“So, I'm simply acting in accordance with what I think is best for me.” You scoffed in annoyance. What’s this guy’s problem.

Before you could comment on his responses to Sayaka, Mondo steps in very heated. “Hold on! Like hell I'm gonna let you run off and do whatever you want!”

“Out of my way, plankton.”

“Wh--!? The fuck's that supposed to mean!?”

“One tiny bit of plankton, drifting across the sea. So minuscule, so insignificant, they couldn't possibly have any kind of influence on the boundless ocean.” This severely angered Mondo. Somebody was definitely about to get beaten up.. “I'm gonna kick your ass!”

“S-Stop it! We shouldn't fight!” Makoto spoke up. However, this was a bad move on his end.

Mondo turned to look at him, his anger still boiling inside him. “The fuck you just say? You some kinda goody-goody little bitch?” You stepped in front of Makoto. “H-Hold on Mondo! Relax!” You attempted to de-escalate the situation. Instead Mondo shoved you on the ground away from Makoto, you landed on your arm. “Get outta my way!”

“Ugh!—" A groan escaped your mouth. Before Makoto could acknowledge you, Mondo was already getting closer to him. His face was red hot and his hand was clenched so hard you could see his fist turning white. “Who do you think you are, talkin' to me like that? You think you're my fuckin' dad or something!?”

“N-No, I wasn't--!”

“Fuck you!”

*WHAM*

Makoto’s body fell straight onto the ground. It was like something straight out of a comic book, Mondo punched Makoto so fast you bet he didn’t even see it coming. One second he was standing there perfectly conscious the next second you saw him unconscious on the ground.

“MAKOTO!” Both you and Sayaka screamed.

Everyone else was in shock for a moment before ultimately rushing coming to check on him…by everyone else you mean everyone besides Byakuya, Kyoko, Celeste, Toko and.. Mondo. You rushed by his side and started to shake Makoto somewhat gently. “Makoto?! Are you okay?”

“Ah! Y/N d-don’t shake him!” Sayaka stuttered out as she kneeled next to you. “Oh my! This is becoming quite interesting.” Celeste giggled into her hand in amusement.

“O-Oh no! Makoto! can you hear me?!” Taka frantically yelled.

“Wh-wh-what just happened?!” Yasuhiro yelled.

Junko annoyingly scoffed. “Weren’t you paying any attention? Mondo just punched him! We haven’t even left the gym yet we’re like already messing up!”

“Get off my ass I didn’t punch him THAT hard.” Mondo was still visibly angry but was slowly calming himself down. He glanced over at Makoto a few times, showing no other visible reaction to him.

Now it was your turn to get angry. “What do you mean not that hard? He’s not moving!”

“It’s not my fault he’s a weak little punk!” He responds defensively.

“D-do you think h-he’s dead...?” Toko stuttered. Before you could respond Kyoko came near Makoto and placed her index and long finger gently on his carotid artery, checking for a pulse. Luckily, he was in fact not dead.

“No. He’s alive, just unconscious.” She stated plainly. You let out a sigh of relief. “Ohh.. thank god..” Sayaka was put at ease as well. “Thank goodness….”

Hifumi anxiously glances at Makoto. “So.. uh… what do we do about him now that we know he’s—” right before he could finish his sentence, Monokuma popped up without any warning.

“Phuhuhu!~”

“Kyaaaaah!” Toko screamed.

 “That was so fun to watch! You guys haven’t even made it to your dorms, yet you’ve already started to slaughter each other!” He laughed into his paws maniacally.

“Slaughter?! He’s not dead!... why are you even here?!” You yell at him. “That’s how it always starts! Sooner or later, you’ll be towering over his dead, soulless body. As the innocent or.. who knows! Maybe the murderer! Those tools you have are pretttyyy sharp and pointy! Can those scissors cut skin?” He teases.

“For the last time these tools are for HAIR—!”

“Anywho… I’d love to keep tormenting my lovely students but!...” He waddles over to Makoto. “I’ll have to steal your little friend here!” You and Sayaka protectively grab Makoto’s shoulders, pulling him towards you both. “No! You’re not taking him anywhere!”

“Y-yeah!...” She agrees. “Now now kids! Not too aggressive! Remember, you can’t touch me otherwiseeee…. You’ll be DEAD!” He shouted towards the end of his sentence. “Besides, I’m not going to kill him. That’s your guy’s job. I’m just going to safely put him in his own dorm, so when he wakes up, he can join you. Can’t have you guys be focused on him when there’s much more interesting things for you guys to explore!”

“But…how can we?!—” Kyoko cut you off. “Step away from him, Y/N. You too Sayaka.” Her stern voice made you both flinch. Sayaka nervously looked at Kyoko. “B-but…”

“Now, both of you move.” Sakura sternly said.

“………….”

“…………”

You both hesitantly moved away from Makoto’s unconscious body, allowing Monokuma to come back and carry him. He crawled under his back and lifted him up slowly, it looked like he was struggling as his arms were trembling, but he still somehow kept his composure with that same creepy smile. “Ah.. you worried I’m going to hurt your little boyfriend? *huff*.. don’t worry, I would never hurt my students!...for no reason that is.” And with that Monokuma ‘carried’ him out of the gym and to his assigned dorm.

You continued to sit there kneeling on the floor as you stared at double doors, slowly closing. Leaving everyone in a state of silence for a few moments. That is until that one individual spoke up again.

“Anywho… I’ll be leaving. Try not to get yourselves killed.” Byakuya stated flatly before beginning to walk towards the double doors. “W-Wait you’re still leaving?... even after what you just caused?!” Aoi called out. “I haven’t done anything. That idiot has only himself to blame.”

“You—!” You angrily get up from the floor, Sayaka watches you hesitantly as she got up alongside you, putting a hand on your shoulder to lightly reassure you. “This is your fault! What do you get out of provoking people huh?!” He spares you no glance, not even an acknowledgement of your existence. It’s like you don’t exist to him.

“Goodbye.” He says before finally leaving. Another person leaving your group. “...ugh..”

Sayaka rubs your shoulder gently. “hey... are you okay?”

“…..Uh.. yeah I’m fine… I think.” You responded while you stared at the doors. She took notice of this. “Don’t worry about Makoto, I’m sure he’s gonna be okay..!” Aoi some-what confidently states.

“But—! What about Monokuma?” You stammered. “If Monokuma’s intention was to hurt him, he would’ve done so already. Not only that, but we’d already be dead.” Kyoko said.

She was right but… this didn’t stop you from worrying about him. Especially considering the situation you were in now. “Yeah… yeah she’s right!” Taka perked up. “We’re still alive and well so that should mean something!”

“Yeah m-maybe for now…t-there’s no telling what that bear is doing to that idiot… probably ripping out his t-teeth or stitching h-his mouth shut s-so he won’t talk a-again…” Toko said. This caused most of the group to be repulsed of the thought. This didn’t help your worries, in fact that made it worse.

Sayaka’s face turned white. “D-don’t say that! That’s horrible!” Junko nodded in agreement. “Right, what the hell Toko? Are you trying to freak them out again?” Junko herself seemed a little disgusted as well.

“ u-um so… are we still going to look around the school…?” Chihiro asked while nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

Oh right… we were supposed to be exploring by now. Instead, everyone including you got sidetracked with the whole Makoto situation...

“Oh yeah that’s right! We were supposed to be looking around.” Yasuhiro stated, rubbing his head. “So…is the looking around the school together off the table or…?”

“I believe it would be wise to investigate separately, we can find our own clues I suppose. Perhaps Byakuya’s idea wasn’t too bad, yes?” Celeste questioned. Unfortunately…. she was right. Exploring in one big group would’ve most likely declined your chances of finding clues to escape. Though, you felt nervous even thinking out doing it alone.

“Okay! Then it’s settled! We will investigate alone!” Aoi confidently said.

Before anyone else could respond, Toko quickly spoke. “W-wait what?! B-but that’s practically s-suicide! Are you t-trying to get me k-killed?!” Toko whined.

“Alright alright! Then… go explore with Y/N! I’m sure they don’t mind.” Aoi replied.

You and Toko exchanged looks. Her eyes then followed from yours to your waist apron, her face immediately contorted into a look of disgust. “….N-No…!”

You just continued to stand there in silence, unsure how to respond. “……” What was her problem with you?

Junko groaned. “Then what do you want?! You’re making this much more difficult than it needs to be, girl!”

“….um…maybe we should rethink investigating alone then…?” You stated. “How about we look around in groups instead? Probably groups of four.” Sayaka nodded in agreement, clasping her hands together. “Oh! I like that idea! How does that sound, everyone?”

Most of the group looked at each other momentarily before silently nodding in agreement.

 “I can roll with that.” Yasuhiro crossed his arms smiling.

 “Eh…alright.” Leon shrugs.

“W-were changing the plan that fast?! Just like that?!” Hifumi stuttered.

“Actually...I want to investigate alone.” Taka said. Aoi tilted her head in confusion. “Huh? Are you sure?” He proudly put his hands on his hips.

“Yes! We shall meet again to talk about what we found elsewhere.” He states confidently as he puts his hands on his hips. Another one who wants to search alone huh?

Aoi shrugs. “Okay, suit yourself.”

“So, about those groups uh…. Who is—”

“I’ll pick them!” Taka cut Hifumi off, leaving him a little defeated. “Hmm let’s see… how about Yasuhiro, Leon, Junko and Chihiro?”

“O..okay!” Chihiro happily stated.

“Cool! I can deal with that!” Yasuhiro states.

“Fine with me.” Junko shrugs.

“Fantastic!” He places his hand on his chin. “Hm...let’s see… how about Kyoko—”

“I’m investigating alone.” Kyoko spoke up sternly. Taka looked a little surprised. “O-oh? You too?” She silently nods. “If you say so then…” He looks around at the other group of students. “Okay, since Kyoko is investigating alone... let’s do Sakura, Aoi and Mondo!”

You? In a group with Mondo?

Mondo scoffs. “Whatever, sure. Let’s just get this shit over with.

Aoi confidently pops her jacket collar. “Got it! I’ll do my best!”

Sakura only silently hums in agreement.

“So that leaves me, Y/n, Celeste, Hifumi and Toko...!” Sayaka wrapped her arm around yours. “Hey y/n, would you like to investigate with me?” She gives you that same warm smile she gave Makoto. “Just until Makoto comes back…?”

“Ah…well…”

“I-If you want to of course!...I don’t want to pressure you.” You chuckle dryly, giving her a smile back. “It’s okay, Sayaka. I’ll go with you.” She lets out a sigh of relief. “whew..okay, good!”

Taka happily extends his arms up. “Perfect! All who is left is Celeste, Hifumi, and Toko! How convenient, you guys can be a group!” Toko gives Taka an irritated stare. “W-what am I?!..Left overs?” Celeste glances over at Hifumi, then to Toko. Her expressions weren’t the most readable like the others, but you could tell she wasn’t thrilled about this group choice. “Ah… actually, I—”

“So… are we ready to go investigate?”  Yasuhiro cuts her off unintentionally. “Actually, I’d rather—"

She gets cut off again. “It seems so! Okay everyone, we will meet up later to talk about what we have found! Let’s go!” Taka proudly states. “But please, watch your step!” Hifumi looks over at Celeste, who held an unreadable expression. “Uh…are you okay miss Ludenburg?” She turns her head to face him, her face held a blank stare while she held her pale hands together. “Yes, perfect.”

He nervously chuckled. “O-okay, if you say so.”

She was not perfect, not even close.

“Are you ready to go, y/n? What should we explore first..?” Sayaka asks you. “How about the dorms? I want to see what they look like since it seems like were going to be here for awhile..”

“Aww.. you really miss Makoto, hmm?” She teases. You put your hands up defensively. “Wha-? No. I mean, yes I am worried about him but I wanted to check out the dorms from the-“ You could hear her giggling into her hand at your reaction. “I’m just joking. Let’s go!” She drags your arm towards the exit and you both made your way through the hallways towards the dorms, the others soon followed behind to begin their own investigation. You don’t know what the future will hold, hell you don’t know if you’ll even survive the first night. Will this investigation even be worth it? If there was a way to escape…surely it would’ve been patched by Monokuma? It makes you nervous. But right now, you’re willing to do what it takes to figure out a way to leave Hope’s Peak Academy that doesn’t involve taking a person’s life.

Thank for reading! See you in the next chapter <3

[theharrowing]

OK Collateral thoughts:

The POV scenes are incredible and I will definitely be subscribing to read the entire things. I don't know how I missed those posts but I can imagine you were probably not pushing them too hard since you mentioned feeling awkward about asking for money (I would too!)

I love seeing the nickname list evolve, and I remember swooning over the idea of Jungkook calling mc "doll/dollface". It gets me every time. And I am obsessed with the fact that you randomly write scenes for future chapters with a vague plan to figure out how they fit into the story. I always just assume that everything is written linearly all at once, so to see how you plop scenes in is fascinating because it flows so well.

Also your note of, "changing the anime mc and Jimin are watching from Attack on Titan to Chainsaw man because i absolutely fucking hated the ending of AoT lmao." LOL. My older brother watches AoT and he was SO FUCKING MAD about the ending. He also read the manga and hated the ending then, and I remember him saying, "I sincerely hope the anime has a different ending because that was some genocide-loving bullshit." I would love to know your thoughts!

Also your little "he’s ready to love, 내게 말해 줘, can we stay together? can we stay together?" made me laugh so fucking hard and I even sang it aloud hahaha. Is this what you are like IRL? I wish we could be friends IRL because you always seem like so much fun. Are you a carat? Who is/are your bias?

ALSO YOUR FAVORITE PARTS FROM CHAPTER 18 SENT ME TO HELL. Like, I also loved those lines while reading the chapter but then to see them listed out was deadly. "You can hear the sound of his fists gripping the sheet below, soft material scratching against blunt fingernails—a quiet, tactile cry of desperation." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely deadly. How do you think of these lines?

These are the end of my notes! I see that you posted 19 and I am so excited to dive in! I'm also really glad your bags are home safe and that you seem in much better spirits today than you were yesterday! Thanks again for all you do!!!!! - 🗡️

OMG DAGGER LMAO your recent message came in reminding me of this one!!! i saw this come in the other day while busy and then i forgot, as i am wont to do hahaha. gonna respond to this one and then immediately respond to that one.

you are correct that i don't push the pov scenes too hard haha. i feel awkward asking for money but i also spend a lot of my free time writing and was looking for a way to make a couple extra bucks back when i made that patreon (which is now a buymeacoffee.) it's a shame because those really do have scenes that i feel are important to the story, but i also can't ask people to give me even $2 (tbh i only see like $1.30 of it lolol. more like buymehalfofacoffee.)

i used to write everything linearly but my mind sometimes races and i do my best to keep up and jot ideas down as they come, because i will forget otherwise. i do a lot of daydreaming when i commute especially, and it is easy to get lost in imagining scenarios. also, i am glad you like doll/dollface. i wasn't sure people would, but it seems a few do! (i'm more of a kitten person but i ruined calling mc kitten for myself with boy blue.)

i did not read the AoT manga but i did read about the manga ending and i am mad for exactly the same reasons as your brother. i have A Lot of Thoughts™ but idk if this is the place for them lmaooo.

singing in the middle of a sentence IS how i am irl and i am glad you are charmed bc i always worry about being annoying. (i suppose both things can be true!) you're so sweet for wishing we could be friends! 🥺😭 i am not fully a carat because i don't have a lot of energy to give to other groups lately, but my biases are Hoshi & Jeonghan. i love them very much.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR NOTES & THOUGHTS WITH ME!!! 😍🥰🥰 i love that you are so hyped about this, and i am excited to read the other message that just came in!!!

[colbysluvr]

In the Night — c.b.

A/N: HII i’m new to this whole writing on tumblr shit so.. HII, umm if you wanna give me some requests go ahead, anyways, here’s your first story from me!

prompt: Y/N plays a familiar game of spin the bottle where she then freaks out of the room, but when Colby reaches her distance she accidentally announces to him that she isn’t experienced in any sort of sexual activity, until this nights party. || colby brock x fem!reader ||

warning: smut, pet names, language, oral (receiving), and unprotected sex.

not my gif — https://www.wattpad.com/amp/914202251

—

“Spin the bottle, Y/N,” Katrina demanded you, you hesitated, you were becoming all clammy in your palms, you panicked only because of your long-living crush on the Colby, your best friend. He insisted to sit in the circle once 4 more players had joined Katrina, Tara, and you. Now it was Colby, Sam, Jake, and Kevin who was unexpectedly drunk this evening.

“What?” You asked, shaking out of your thoughts. “Just spin!” She repeated once more.

Your eyes glared onto Colbys, and his beautiful sky blue eyes lied on yours, he spun the bottle for you. “Thank you, Colby, wasn’t expecting to sit here all night long,” Jake joked, he was your best friend, how could you not laugh at Jake.

You held your breath in panic, but exhaled once it landed on the empty space that the 7 of you had created.

“Bullshit! She should spin again!” Kevin shouted.

Tara grinned, she and Jake knew of your secret love interest for Colby, but no one else in the circle knew. You could trust those 2, right?

Tara then broke the silence from the room, “Yeah, that empty space is so boring, we should just let her have another go,”

You gave Tara a death glare with a low growl, “Fine!”

You spun the bottle this time without any hesitation, and just as you thought, it landed straight on Colby, since Tara had stopped it. “Oops, I expected it to land on the empty spot again, my bad!”

Colby just looked at the bottle pointing at himself, then looked at you with his shimmery ocean eyes. “This is awkward though, Colby and I are good friends! I don’t want to play 7 minutes in fucking heaven with him, Im out!” You exclaimed.

It was more out of nervousness than any other thing. But as soon as you exited the theater music began to blast back into your ears again with a bunch of people around, a bunch of drunk people around actually.

You walked straight into the kitchen helping yourself to a cup of alcohol. “Y/N!” The familiar deep voice had you shiver down to your spine, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not feeling it tonight, Colby,” You spun around to talk to him face to face. “I’ve never even kissed someone before!”

You gasp at your mistake, his eyes are completely wide now, “Im so sorry, I’m drunk?”

He nods his head slowly, perking his lips with now crossed arms, swaying side to side, “Do you want me to help you?”

You are now wide eyed by his response, “What? No!”

“Are you sure,” He comes close to your figure now leaning onto the counter blocking your left and right exit, “Are you sure you don’t want help?”

You don’t know how to respond from how flabbergasted you are now, “I-I, I’m sure,”

You push him away slowly, and exit to another room where more party people are, you could hear Colby scoff from the distance even over the loud music.

Even though you could feel the tension between you two, you just don’t know what to say, but once your jealousy hit as soon as you saw him and some girl grinding against each other, you mind just wanted to speak it’s words, so you stomped your way towards the now stupid boy and grabbed his forearm leading him to his bedroom.

With full honesty you answered with a straight ‘yes’ and continued up to his bedroom where you had opened the door, and he teased you even more by pushing it open, pretending as if you need help with the door.

The two of you sat down onto his couch both close together and just sat in silence. Which you broke the silence with a commitment, “Just know this is just a kiss and nothing more, nothing more!”

“Okay, okay, got it,” He leaned in, until you sweetly backed him away, “What?”

“I don’t know if I want you to really take my first kiss, Colby,” You admitted.

“Why? Don’t you like me?” He asked with a slight smirk.

“Wait, what?! Who said that?” You panicked.

He looked around his room and just shrugged. “You have to tell me, Colby!”

“Fine..” He laughed, “It was Tara and somewhat Jake, they said they were planning on getting us alone tonight,”

“Wait, why’d they want us alone tonight?“ You asked with full concern.

“…Because I also may have a crush on you too, Y/N,” He admitted.

“What?” You we’re fully flabbergasted at this point, at no point in time have you ever thought, Colby Brock would have the same exact feelings that you have had for him for 2 years.

He leaned in slowly, and this time you allowed it. You didn’t stop him at any point in time by now, you were fully in this trance of wanting him.

“Please…” You whispered, not knowing you said it out loud.

“Please..?” He mumbled, repeating your words back to you. “Do you want me, Y/N?”

“Please, Colby,” You pled.

He continued to kiss against your lips, harder but sweetly each time. Colby began to lower his kisses down onto your jawline, and you leaned your head resting back onto the couch.

Colby moved though. You opened your eyes to see he was towered over your body now, leaving his hand out for you to grab.

You took his hand, and he had lead you straight to his bed where he had lied you down on sweetly and began to give satisfying kiss down to your chest, he lifted your dress above your head and started to stare at your figure, mesmerized until he began to kiss your lips again.

You had mumbled a couple of moans through the kisses which each time he would groan to. He glided down your figure slowly again, this time coming down to your core.

You opened your eyes to see him hovering over you once again, “Can I be your first, Y/N?” He asked.

You nodded immediately, him being your first was like a dream to you.

“I’ll be gentle,” he admitted for your comforting.

He continued back to what he started and then kissed up back to your jawline where he connected your lips to one another again.

He lifted your body where you were sitting half way up, and disconnected your bra, he slid it off with ease and threw it somewhere down on the floor.

He kissed his way down your stomach once more and down to your core where he than slid off your underwear, again with ease.

“You’re so beautiful,” He complimented with kisses in between. You had moaned with the pleasure of the compliment and also because he was about to go down on you.

Colby started with teasing by licking up your slit slowly, you had gripped the sheets, you couldn’t hold it in, you just wanted him at this point, and you never knew you could want someone as bad as you wanted him, “Please.. Colby, just do it,”

His eyebrow had lifted and he smirked, he rose one leg above his shoulder and began to slowly tease you again by slowly inserting his tongue into you. You moaned when his tongue started to swirl into your clit. You never felt anything like this before and you enjoyed it so much, but your climax had reached very quickly from the pleasure, “I’m.. about.. to..-“

Colby knew exactly what you were about to say, “Shit.. cum on me, Y/N,” his voice had vibrates onto and gave you more of your climax to rise, it felt like your stomach had a bunch , and once you came, he continued by flicking his tongue into your clit faster, reaching your high.

Once Colby licked up the rest of your climax and dropped your leg but made you separate your two thighs, you twitched with the pleasure, he kissed his way back up to your face and smirked, “You’re so pretty when you cum..”

Just like that, the unexpected fulfillment had made you moan, “Fuck,” He swore, “Don’t do that to me, Y/N,”

Colby thrusted inside of you, making you lose you mind and uncontrollably moan, “Shit, you make me so happy,” He kissed you on your lips, and groaned against your moan.

Your legs had wrapped around him like if you had no control whatsoever, your clit had clenched around his dick, “Holy shit, do that again,” and once again you had clenched around him.

“Fuck, Colby!” You moaned out, the same feeling as before had begun, “I’m going.. to cum!”

Just like that he sped up, “Not just yet..”

You were confused, but tried to keep it in as long as you could, he thrusted hard and faster, having both of your bodies smack against each other creates noises, “Colby!” You cried out.

“I know,” His body began to twitch, possibly meaning he was close too, “Cum on me Y/N,”

You listened and came onto him, which created him to cum after, he groaned and slid out of you slowly.

“Fuck, Y/N,” He lied next to you.

“Thank you, Colby,” You thanked.

He looked at you and sat up on his elbows getting up to grab your underwear and bra he threw, he buckled his jeans belt after helping you get dressed, “Can we just lay down?” You asked.

“Sure,” He replied, and he walked over to the bed which you were already lying down on, and he covered you up with his blankets, “God you’re amazing,”

Which made you giggle, “I love you,” you admitted in confidence.

“I love you too, thank you for this night,” He admitted as well.

[eddievanhammettmunson]

Cops and Crushes

Eddie Munson x female cop reader

Authors note- Hello fellow humans. I’m back with an Eddie x reader one shot. I just wanted to say thank you to @brighteyedbushybrowed for their input on this <3

Warnings- 18++ MINORS DNI I MEAN IT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Foul language, violence, lots of mentions of police, cops, handcuffs so just uh be aware of that. Smut, praise kink specifically babes. Handcuffs again wink wink. Uhhhhh I think that’s it but don’t hesitate to let me know if I missed one.

Summary- you thought being a cop would be a satisfying job to help the community. But when you finally realize it’s not what you wanted someone gives you the final push that makes you take the step to leave. 11.7k words

Tick,tick,tick

Tick,tick,tick

Looking at the clock was becoming agonizing. You can’t wait for your shift to be over so you can leave. What turns your attention away from the clock is the loud thud as a bunch of files and paperwork are dropped onto your desk. You look up to see Officer Callahan above you.

“Figured you could use something to do since you looked a bit bored. Mind sorting all that for me?” He didn’t wait for your response as he walked away.

This is total bullshit. You thought to yourself as you began to organize and work through the pile of work that had been dropped on you. Each officer was supposed to be in charge of their own files so it irked you that you. The only female officer. Gets none of the field work but gets stuck with everyone’s paperwork.

You wanted to say something. Tell these assholes that you’re just as much a cop as they are and you’re not some personal secretary. But you didn’t. Don’t get me wrong you were grateful the chief was willing to let you on the force at all and you didn’t want to jeopardize that. But this was humiliating. Working with a team of men that you knew had no respect for you as a fellow cop.

You knew Hopper let you on the force cause he saw how good you were with weapons and bad situations when you guys were in the upside down. But ever since you joined the force he only let you respond to mild calls. Like “oh my neighbor annoyed me and I’d like to file a complaint” kind of calls. That or you just stayed at the station all day filling out statements from people the other officers would bring in. You were tired of it.

You joined the force so you could help protect the town after everything you’ve seen. But sitting here organizing files and never getting to leave your desk doesn’t feel like protecting. You turn towards the clock that finally reads 6:30 and you begin gathering your things to leave. That is until Jim Hopper steps out of his office.

“Sorry guys, we just got a call. I need Powell and Callahan. Now.”

Since he didn’t say your name you continue packing up to leave since clearly you weren’t being invited to whatever call they received. Hopper walks closer to your desk however and you pause.

“Y/l/n. You mind staying behind a few extra hours tonight since we have a call to respond to? It’ll probably only be a couple hours and you’ll get some over time?”

You scoff slightly without meaning to and your words come out angry.

“So I sit here and take calls. Am I actually allowed to go out and respond to any of them this time?”

Hopper immediately caught on to what you meant. Although he didn’t appreciate the attitude, he didn’t have time to talk to you right now so he kept his answer brief but threw in a bit of snark to match yours.

“Yes. You can respond to them”

And with that you watched the other three officers make their way out of the station and you sat back in your chair prepared for a calm evening and some overtime.

You watch as the clock ticks closer to 9 pm. Not a single call has come in tonight.Not much happens in a town like Hawkins outside of the inter dimensional wars and shit apparently. Finally out of boredom you begin to work on some writing. Originally back in the day before you lost your best friend to one of those creatures, you had dreams of being a writer. You were pretty good at it too but figured it could never possibly go anywhere and after losing your friend, all you wanted to do was protect and help others.

Really getting into your writing and beginning to lose track of time you’re completely startled by the phone ringing on your desk and you quickly check the time. 10 pm. Maybe it’s Hopper and the guys calling the station.

You answer the phone and for the first time all night you’re actually excited. A woman was reporting a noise complaint in the parking lot of some bar but as she reported the noise complaint she said to hurry to the location as a full blown brawl had broken out.

Taking down the address and quickly running out the door you get in your car and head for the brawl. Upon arrival you’re met with quite the site at the bar. You’ve been here before only a couple of times but you know The Hideout is always full of angry drunks. From your car you can’t quite see what exactly is going on except for a bunch of drunkards in a circle watching the fight. So to give everyone a quick scare you turn on the lights and sirens briefly and the crowd disperses. Some people just straight up running and others slowly making their way back into the bar.

And that’s when you see it. The Hawkins high basketball team beating the absolute shit out of the town “freaks”. The sirens obviously didn’t seem to scare the basketball team much if at all. So you turn them on again and drive right up to fight. You take out your radio and say over the speaker.

“That’s enough. Break it up boys”

You see Jason Carver stand up straight over the metal head he’s been beating. You step out of the vehicle and make your way over to him.

“Mr Carver. You wanna explain to me why your team is beating these boys up in a parking lot in the middle of the night?”

Jason dropped the collar of the freak and turned to you. Deciding to try and charm you.

“Well good evening officer. My my you sure do look familiar. Have we met before?”

“I asked you a question Mr Carver”

You actually did know Jason. A few years back at a party he kept trying to flirt with you while he was drunk and you pushed him into a plant. Obviously he didn’t remember that as well as you did.

“Well you see, officer. My team and I here were just out trying to enjoy our evening here at the Hideout. When these freaks show up and start trying to play their cult music”

You pause and take a look at the band bloodied on the ground. Recognizing the boys. You remember them from highschool in their hellfire club. You always felt bad how people treated them and suffice to say nothing changed.

“It’s a free country Mr Carver. If the bar says corroded coffin can play their music in that bar then that means you take your clientele elsewhere if you don’t like it. You don’t assault the band. And that is assault Mr Carver so I’m afraid I will be bringing you to the station”

Everyone looked surprised. Jason Carver was certainly surprised. Arresting the captain of the Hawkins high basketball team? How dare you. And the bloodied band on the ground also looked surprised. Nobody ever takes their side. Why are you? And taking their side to the point of arresting the basketball team? They’re scared of how this is gonna work out for you.

“Well officer i do apologize for my behavior but I don’t believe you’ll be arresting me tonight”

You were already grabbing your taser as the air between you and Jason became quite tense. You knew he was thinking something but you couldn’t quite tell what. That is until he gave a slight nod and the other 2 basketball players dropped their victims and began running. Jason quickly shoved you back hard and began running. A pair of hands caught you from hitting the ground but you didn’t have time to thank them you just quickly got back to your feet and began the pursuit.

You heard footsteps running behind you and turned quickly to see one of the boys who got his ass beat was running along with you. You were hot on Jason’s trail as he didn’t have time to get as far away as the other two and you managed to yank him down from a fence he was attempting to climb.

However as you yanked him down from the fence he came crashing down on you and then he attempted to keep running. That is until Jason Carver's nose was met by a brutal fist. You could hear the crack of the rings on his fist meeting Jason’s face. And when Jason hit the ground you watched the metal head climb on top of him and start beating him.

You had to physically pull the metal head off of Jason. You put Jason in handcuffs first and brought him back to the squad car. You were making your way round to the front of the squad car to begin heading back to the station until Jason decided to open his mouth.

“Oh so I get arrested for beating the freak but when the freak beats me he gets off Scott free?”

Shit. You had no intention of arresting the other boy until Jason said that. But you knew if you didn’t then Jason would definitely be the kind to say something to someone who would complain. So you walk back across the parking lot to the bloodied boy sitting on the curb. Who upon seeing you stands up and turns around with his arms already behind his back.

“I can cuff your hands in the front. If you want. It’d probably be more comfortable that way?”

The boy slowly turned around and looked at you with confusion but brought his hands around to the front. This wasn’t his first arrest; hell probably wasn’t even his fifth. But it was his first arrest where an officer actually took his side and was nice to him. Why are you being so nice to him?

You silently put him in the squad car next to Jason and drove silently to the station with them. Upon your arrival you brought in the boys and began processing Jason Carver. For the metal head on the other hand you brought him back to your desk and sat him there. In the middle of processing Jason however, officer Callahan walked into the station.

Officer Callahan observed you booking and processing Mr Carver and pulled you to the side. “Y/n what the hell are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious Callahan? I’m doing my job?”

“No I mean what the hell are you doing arresting Jason Carver. He’s the Hawkins high basketball captain”

“Officer Callahan I’m very aware of who Mr Carver is. I’m afraid his basketball status doesn’t make him exempt from the law. Especially after assault and assault of an officer”

“Y/n I don’t care. He is the town prince. We can’t just arrest him. The town will go into an uproar if he’s kicked off of the basketball team and that will all come back to this station.”

“Who cares? It’s a basketball game and I’m pretty sure assault is worse than having to replace a team captain”

Officer Callahan glanced over your shoulder towards your desk to see Jason’s victim and immediately scoffed. “You're arresting him for the assault on him? No, absolutely not. You go handle him and go home. I’ll be letting Mr Carver go.”

“No the hell you are not. You can’t release my arrest Callahan”

“No y/n I’m not “releasing” him. I’m letting him go and getting rid of any evidence you did this in the first place. You should thank me here I’m practically saving your job”

Before you could even speak Callahan was already walking over to Jason and taking the handcuffs off and guiding him to the station door. You had a lump in your throat and you almost wanted to cry. What blatant disrespect towards you. Choosing to swallow back your emotions you watch Callahan head towards his own car as he seems to be taking Jason home. Jason sees you through the window and gives you a smirk paired with a little wave. What an asshole.

Turning to face away from the windows you turn your attention back to your desk and more importantly the person sitting at your desk.

“Quite the night you’ve had Mr Munson”

His eyes shot up from his hands that he’d been studying. And looked towards you. He assumed since Jason was being let go that it was his turn to be booked and processed but as he began to stand up you put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Where ya headed Munson?”

“Oh I just thought it was my turn”

You began to laugh as you rummaged through one of your desk drawers. You pulled out a box and a key. You quickly used the key, you released the handcuffs around his wrists and threw them on the table. Next you opened the box to a bunch of first aid supplies.

The boy looked at you in surprise and confusion.

“So I’m not being arrested? No booking? No processing? No charges?”

You take his face in your hands and tilt it up towards you as you gently begin to dab the blood from his nose and lips.

“I mean I could. I didn’t have any intention to and I really don’t want to do the paperwork for it but if that’s your idea of a good time I always could”

That finally got a chuckle out of him and a wince as your hand brushed his nose. He watched as you worked to patch him up as best you could, working gently so as not to cause him any pain. He was grateful you were being so gentle with him.

“You know sarge. I actually remember you from Hawkins”

“Oh do you now?”

“Yeah. You were always pretty quiet and you hung around those girls. Uhhh what’s her name? Wheeler's sister?”

“Oh you mean Nancy?”

“Yeah her! And her redhead friend. The one who…”

He didn’t finish that sentence. Seeing you tense up and ease off of cleaning him up a bit he could tell just bringing it up had struck a nerve.

Turning your attention from his face to his hands you take his right hand into yours and begin gently cleaning the cuts on his knuckles.

“You know Munson, I actually remember you from high school too. And your band. You were all in that hellfire club together”

“You can just call me Eddie, you know. Munson’s more my dads title than it is mine”

You actually knew of Eddie’s father. Everyone at the station did. Although you’d never seen or met Eddie’s dad you knew he used to be a regular in this station before getting hauled off to prison. You had no intention of telling Eddie you knew this however as he probably didn’t want to relive that.

As you turned his hands over in yours he couldn’t help but stare up at your face. And see how gentle you were being with him. How nice you’d been to him tonight. And he couldn’t help but question as to why.

“How are you feeling Eddie? Your hands look pretty well patched up but how’s the head doing”

Eddie quickly began to take part in some over dramatic theatrics as he put his hand to his head and began swaying heavily as he spoke.

“I-I just don’t know doc. I don’t think I’m gonna make it this time”

He hadn’t expected you to jump up and begin playing back with him. But you did. And the smile that was plastered on his face definitely hurt but he didn’t care.

“Oh no you poor thing. Whatever can I do to make it better, oh poor patient, how can I save thee” you put your hand over your heart and said it in the most dramatic voice you could.

“I don’t know doc I think you’d need to kiss it to make it better” he doesn’t know what prompted him to say it. But he doesn’t regret it in the slightest until he sees you freeze.

You hadn’t expected him to say that in the slightest. But you couldn’t help but think about it. I mean the boy was attractive you couldn’t help but notice that. And something about him was just so charming. So you decided to lean down and gently brush the hair out of his face before placing your lips to the cut on his forehead and letting your lips linger there for just a second.

You lean back and observe his reaction which is him staring up at you with his big brown eyes and now his very deep red cheeks. He’s hoping you can’t see the blush with the bruises on his cheeks but you can. So you stand up straight and clap your hands together once in an attempt to clear any tension.

“Well. Eddie. I think you’re pretty much patched up here. I could give you a ride home or back to the hideout if you’d prefer”

This gets Eddie back to reality. He tells you he’d prefer to be dropped off at the hideout because all of his stuff including his Van is still there. And as you head to walk out of the station Eddie looks down at your desk to the pair of handcuffs and key you’d arrested him with, and slips them into his pocket as he follows you out. You pretend not to notice.

As you pull into the parking lot of The Hideout Eddie directs you to where his van is parked. Upon getting closer you hear Eddie release an exasperated sigh and he begins to get out the car before you’ve even come to a complete stop. You watch as he runs up to his van.

“Baby! Baby no what’d they do to you”

As you walk toward him and the van you can’t help but notice the 4 slashed completely flat tires. Assuming it was done by the other basketball players who fled the scene. You walk back to your squad car and pull out a Polaroid camera you happen to own. You begin taking pictures of the damage to his van and then you walk over to Eddie who is already staring at you confused.

“Do you mind if I snap a few pictures of your face?”

“Uh not at all sarge but I’m not exactly looking my best right now?”

“That’s the point Eddie. Callahan may have let Jason go but these basketball players can’t keep getting away with this. I’m gonna gather evidence and show it to the chief”

Eddie began fidgeting with the rings on his hands and looked at the ground, sighing.

“Look sweetheart, that's real sweet of you to try but really you don’t have to. I saw the way that asshole took your case from you and I just don’t want you sticking your neck out there for the town freak you know. I just don’t think anyones going to want to back you up on this”

You thought about it for a moment. Eddie had a point but you didn’t care. You got treated like shit at your job anyways. You became a cop to help people and you’ll be damned if you don’t at least try to help Eddie. So you lift up the camera and begin to take his photo anyways and he allows you to.

“Hey uh sarge? I was wondering if the offer to drive me home still stands. I would drive myself really but uh-“

“Yeah Eddie of course I’ll drive you home just grab whatever you need from the van and I’ll give you a lift”

You watched as he grabbed his guitar case and headed back to the squad car and you finished taking your photos. You decided to head into the hideout where you found the rest of Eddie’s band packing up their instruments from their set. They looked pretty nervous upon seeing you and thought you might be there to arrest them until you asked for their photographs. The boys all agreed and you thanked them and said goodnight.

Heading back to the squad car you begin to drive Eddie home per his instructions. As you pull up to his trailer in the park and he begins to get out you put a gentle hand on his arm and stop him.

“You know Eddie…I just want to say I’m sorry”

“Sarge what could you possibly be sorry for. All you’ve done all night is help me”

“I know Eddie but I’m sorry that I need to help you. I’m sorry people put you through this. You really don’t deserve this and I hope you know that”

Eddie squeezed the hand that rested on his arm and squeaked out a quiet thank you as he gathered his guitar and headed up to his trailer. Upon walking inside he was greeted by Wayne.

“Eddie do you mind explaining to me why you were just dropped off by police”

“Well Wayne I think I got arrested by the love of my life”

***

Waking up extra early Monday morning you decide to head into the station at 6 am as opposed to 8 am. Hoping to beat officer Callahan there. Luckily you do and the station is almost empty. You head to Hopper's office and lay out all your evidence. All the photos and even the report you’d begin writing before Callahan let Jason go.

You sat in Hopper's office for hours and of course he’s late today. Luckily still no Callahan but when Hopper walks in the door to his office to see you he doesn’t look happy.

“If this is about what Callahan told me what happened with Carver last night I don’t want to hear it y/n”

“Oh okay, Hopper. Do you mind telling me what exactly Callahan told you happened last night”

“He said that Jason Carver was arrested by you after he was playing around with his teammates in some parking lot”

You scoff. Of course that’s what Callahan said.

You’re so angry that all you do is slap the file of evidence you’d created last night onto Hoppers desk.

The file included offenses from last night and accounts of other charges against Jason and his friends that had been previously dropped unbeknownst to Hopper. Upon just opening the file he seemed surprised.

“Yeah Hop. That definitely looks like some kids just rough housing with teammates to me”

He looked up over the file and you could read the guilt on his face. You left him in his office with the file and an hour later when Callahan arrived you watched Hopper call Callahan into his office. You couldn’t quite make out the words but there was definitely plenty of screaming on Hopper's part.

When Hopper stepped out of his office and Callahan went and sat down at his desk you waited for the announcement.

“Y/l/n, Powell, you’re with me. Let’s go”

You didn’t question it. Instead you just hopped up from your chair and walked out of the station behind Hopper, making sure not to pay officer Callahan any mind. You got into Hopper's truck and he began driving. About halfway through the drive Hopper turned his radio down.

“I wanted to….apologize. I wasn’t aware of how much Mr Carver and his friends were getting away with and I wanted to say good job on bringing this to my attention”

He sounded very formal with you and you could tell he was trying really hard admitting he was wrong. So you decided to accept his apology anyway.

“Does this mean I’ll get to do more than just paperwork”

“Actually…” oh god what was he going to say now. Hadn’t you just proved yourself at all?

“Actually I was looking at that file you created for me. It was really well put together and you’d done quite a bit of research for it. Was wondering if you’d want to take the lead on some more detective type cases with me. Of course I’d still let you take calls and get in on the action but I mean it. Just think about it okay?”

So you did think about it. The rest of the drive. Detective work. Is this really what you wanted to do? As you pulled up to Hawkins high you realized what was happening. Hopper led the way into the school principals office while you and Powell waited just outside. You could hear the principal growing angry at the thought of his star basketball players being arrested and having charges pressed but Hopper wasn’t backing down.

So you, Hopper, and officer Powell made your way into the Hawkins high cafeteria and made your way over to the jock table where Jason and his friends sat. Upon seeing you and not officer Callahan you could see Jason growing concerned. Hopper was the one to put Jason in handcuffs and you and Powell took Andy and Chance in handcuffs. As you were taking them out of the cafeteria you looked in the direction of the hellfire table and saw Eddie staring at you intensely. You flashed him a quick smile as you continued out to the car where you loaded the boys into the back.

Callahan was right about the town being angry over the boys being arrested. But luckily you had a friend you could call. You wrote out a story using the evidence you’d gathered against the basketball team and sent the story to your friend Nancy at the Hawkins post and asked her if she could run it in the paper.

She did. When the story hit the town about Jason and all his friends' activities they found themselves on the end of some harsh town criticism. The first was when you heard that they’d all been kicked off of the team and Jason’s parents were forcing him to pay for the damage he’s caused to Eddie’s van.

When you heard Eddie’s van was going to get fixed you couldn’t get Eddie off of your mind. So when the clock struck 6:30 that day you changed out of your uniform and made your way over to the trailer park. Upon knocking on the door, you were met by the sight of Eddie’s uncle who didn’t look all that happy to see the cop car parked in front of his trailer. Wayne released a heavy sigh.

“What do you think Eddie did now?”

Confusion riddled your face and you realized he must think you’re here to arrest his nephew.

“Oh god no. No sorry Mr Munson. I’m just here to visit Eddie. See no badge. I’m off the clock”

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and called through the trailer.

“EDDIE SOME COP IS HERE TO SEE YOU”

Wayne left the door open yet you didn’t step inside. You didn’t want to feel like you were intruding. Suddenly Eddie appeared at the door and he looked very happy to see you.

“Hey sarge! I didn’t think you’d be stopping by. To what do I owe the pleasure”

“I heard Jason Carver was supposed to pay to fix up your van. Just wanted to stop by and make sure he kept his word”

Eddie stepped out of the trailer and closed the door behind him. Walking around his trailer to the other side and moving around his uncle's truck you could see his van parked. And when you got closer you saw four brand new tires and it even looked like the van had gone through a car wash.

“Ain’t she a beaut”

“She sure is. Bet she feels a lot better without four slashed tires”

You walked around the van examining it and Eddie stood towards the trailer examining you.

“Hey sarge?”

“Yeah what’s up?”

“I just wanted to say thanks. For sticking up for me and defending me when nobody else did”

“Anytime Eddie really. Like I said you don’t deserve the way these people treat you”

You began to walk back to your squad car and Eddie began to grow sad. He didn’t want this to be the last time he got to interact with you and he was desperately looking for an excuse to get to know you.

“Hey sarge?”

You turned around and looked at him expecting him to continue.

“I was wondering if you maybe…wanted to come inside? Hangout for a bit?”

You thought on it for a moment. Sure why the hell not. It’s not like you had anything better to do tonight anyways. You agreed and followed Eddie into his trailer. As soon as you step through the door you’re hit with the smell of weed and drugs and you begin to laugh.

“What’s so funny sarge?”

You begin to laugh even harder. Barely breathing as you force the words out.

“Did you seriously invite a cop into your trailer when you’ve been smoking weed in here”

Shit. He hadn’t even thought about that. He was just so desperate for you not to leave that he completely forgot that a lot of stuff in his trailer isn’t even legal. He turned to you wide eyed and nervous. You took notice and immediately tried to calm him.

“Oh relax I’m not here to bust you Jesus breathe Eddie. Plus I’m off the clock anyways. Right now I’m just Y/n Y/l/n. Civilian”

Eddie had a feeling no matter what he did around you or even when he did it for that matter. So he was pretty sure that you wouldn’t arrest him. Deciding to test the waters he makes you an offer.

“So does the civilian maybe want to? Partake? In some smoking perhaps. Maybe a movie as well”

You had smoked weed pretty much all throughout highschool and especially after Nancy started dating Steve. Steve always had access to weed and he was always nice about helping you get weed.

“I dare say the civilian does partake in such activities” Eddie pretended to be shocked and taken aback. You sat on the couch and he went further back into the trailer and came out holding a baggie and some movie options.

You put on this movie called Nightmare on Elm Street. One of your favorites and you began to get stoned.

You were pretty lost in the movie when you felt a tap on your hand that was resting on the couch and you turned to face Eddie.

“Hey sarge? I got a question?”

You turn to look at him and mumble out a low hmm?

“Why are you a cop? I mean no offense here cause you are a pretty great cop and definitely the nicest cop I’ve ever met. But I don’t know. You just don’t seem like the type. And it just doesn’t seem like you enjoy it. I saw how that guy treated you and I can’t imagine how they must treat you everyday”

You thought on it for a moment. You knew exactly why you became a cop but Eddie did have a point. You didn’t enjoy it. You were glad you’d helped Eddie but even in doing that it didn’t bring you the satisfaction you were looking for. Thinking back to Hopper's offer to do more detective work as well had you questioning if this is what you really wanted.

“Well Eddie. I became a cop to protect people after….well after I lost my friend. I enjoy helping people and it was a lot of fun helping you but..”

“But…?”

As you went to continue talking you were startled by the sound of the refrigerator opening. You hadn’t even realized Wayne was in the room with you guys now. When did he come out of his room? He looked toward the two of you and laughed.

“Only my nephew could manage to get high with a cop on the couch” you laughed with Wayne and asked if he wanted to join the two of you to which he politely declined. But he did offer to stay there for the night if you were too high to drive home. You declined and looked at the time seeing that it was almost 11 pm and you had to be at the station by 8 am tomorrow.

“Sorry Eddie I should really get going”

You could see the disappointment on his face and decided to make him an offer.

“Tell you what though Eddie how about I leave you my number and you can give me a call if you want to hangout again” he nodded his head yes and quickly found a pen and paper for you to write your number on.

As Eddie watched you drive away from his trailer he almost wanted to use the number you gave him and call immediately. Just wanting you to come back.

The next morning as you walk into the station and get to your desk you’re met with a note from Hopper and a list of errands he wants you to run. Apparently what he meant when he said more detective work was more errands that his secretary could be doing.

1.pick up new shirt in 3 XL preferred Hawaiian theme.

2.pick up breakfast donuts

3.pick up coffee 2 black 1 with 4 half and half creams

4.pick up file dividers

So you head out of the station and decide to leave the food for last. Picking up Hopper's shirt and the file dividers. As you walked past the Hawkins post you decided to stop in and see your friend Nancy. Ever since she managed to become head of the paper you couldn’t help but be a bit jealous that she’d made it.

“Y/n!! It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?”

“Hey Nancy! Just running some errands for the station you know. Decided I’d stop in and see how you were doing”

Standing there talking with Nancy you get a bit lost in time. Looking at all the articles she was putting together for the paper and all the writings and what not splayed out across the room. The jealousy inside you began to fester a bit but you decided to force it down.

“You know that article you sent me for the paper about those basketball players was really good. The photos you sent over too had Jonathan a bit jealous”

“Really? Ha thanks Nance”

“I mean it y/n it was really good…you know I've needed another writer at the table and if you're interested? I’d love to have you”

Nancy’s words brought you so much joy and hope. But you couldn’t just pack up and leave the station after working all this way to get there? Could you? Nancy could see the wheels turning in your head.

“Don’t worry y/n I don’t need an answer right now….but just…think about it okay. I just think you have more potential that would be beneficial here…and I know how it feels to not be respected at what you do. But I promise you’ll be respected here. Anyways like I said just think about it okay?”

As you walk out of the Hawkins post and begin speed walking to the donut shop after realizing how much time you’d spent with Nancy, your thoughts clouded you so when you walk into the shop and bump into somebody you’re quick to apologize.

“So sorry I’m in a bit of a ru-oh hi Eddie?”

There was Eddie Munson. Standing in the door of the Donut shop holding onto a small bag and a cup of coffee.

“Hey sarge. Didn’t mean to bump into ya there. What’s got you all frazzled?”

“Running late on some errands for the station. Gotta get the boys donuts and coffee”

“No offense sarge but isn’t that usually like a receptionist job? Or like a secretary or something? Just not normally another officer?”

You clench your jaw and try to keep a smile on your face. It was a little humiliating because everything Eddie said was right and you knew it.

“Oh yeah you know how it is at the station…busy days and short staffing so sometimes we gotta pick up the grunt work” you cringed internally at how bad the defense was. Eddie could read it all over your face and decided to drop it. He knew you probably hate your job but he didn’t want to rub salt in the wound by making you talk about it.

“Anyways I’ve really gotta get going you know how it is” you walk by him quickly and hear the door chime as he leaves. God that was humiliating. It makes you consider Nancy’s offer even more. Grabbing the donuts and coffees and heading back into the station.

Everyone watches you make multiple trips from your car into the station without offering you any assistance and as you leave the shirt and dividers in Hopper's office all he offers is a slight thanks. Not even glancing up at you from the files on his desk.

You return back to your desk and sit down just in time to hear Callahan talking shit about you to Florence saying that she should have run the errands because you’re not even competent enough to get back within the hour.

Callahan notices you in the room and walks over to your desk.

“I requested 4 half and half creams in my coffee. This doesn’t taste like that”

Without looking up at him you hand him the receipt that says the order on it.

“You have a problem with it Callahan you take it up with the coffee shop. Or instead of having me or Florence get your coffee you could be a real man and do something for yourself for once” you said it loud enough to earn chuckles from both Powell and Florence and you watched as Callahan walked back to his desk and sat down with a huff.

Around 4 Callahan took a call and went out and you decided since he left you might as well ask to leave early and head out for the day to clear your head. Going to Hopper and saying you had to leave early due to lady problems and he agreed. It was a slow day anyways so you hadn’t been doing much anyways.

As you got in your car you just started driving. Deciding to just take a drive. You don’t even know how you got there but your car is sitting outside of Eddie’s trailer. Once you realize you’ve driven here you debate on whether or not you should go knock. After all, you'd given him your number and he hadn’t called you. So maybe he wouldn’t like you turning up to his trailer like this.

As you sat there with your hands on the steering wheel debating you hadn’t even realized Eddie came out of his trailer and walked up to your window until you heard the tapping on your window. He wasn’t expecting you to jump the way you did when he tapped on the window cause he figured you’d see him walk up to the car but you looked pretty zoned out.

You rolled down the window slowly and held your hand up to shield your eyes from the evening sun as you looked up at him.

“Hey sarge. You look a little spaced out. Are you okay there?”

You turn back to face the steering wheel and chuckle a bit.

“Is it weird if I say I honestly have no idea how I ended up here?”

Eddie shifts into his best cop pose and pretends to push some sunglasses up his nose.

“Ma’am have you had any alcohol this evening?”

You decide to play along.

“Why no officer I swear….except for those 12 long islands I had an hour ago?”

He chuckles as he takes the handle of your door and opens it.

“Alright ma’am I’m gonna need you to step out of the vehicle for me”

You do as he says and step out of your car but he doesn’t stop there.

“Alright I’m gonna need you to recite the alphabet backwards for me ma’am”

You do your absolute worst and just throw out random jumbles of letters.

“Alright ma’am can you touch the tip of your finger to your nose for me”

You pretend to stumble a bit and touch your finger to your eye instead.

“Alright ma’am I’m afraid you’re not fit to drive. I'm afraid I’ll have to take you inside. I’ll have to search you first before we go in. Make sure you’re not hiding any weapons or paraphernalia from me”

Still playing along you lift your hands up and slightly part your legs to allow the search. Eddie leans forward and lightly begins to pat you down. Not nearly as invasive as you would normally be while searching someone. But you still can’t help the blush that creeps on your face as his hands trace over your arms. As he bends down and pats your legs you begin to even feel a little tingly. And when he grabs your thighs slightly a feeling in your stomach begins to twist. He comes back up standing much closer to your face now and he has a slight smile.

“You’re all clear to head in ma’am”

He follows you into the trailer, closing the door behind the two of you as you go in. You make your way over to the couch and sit down. Eddie offers you some water to which you decline but he brings it over anyways and sets it on the table next to you.

Eddie sits down next to you on the couch and lights a joint that he offers you. You take it out of his hand with a sort of desperation that Eddie notices. Figuring you must have had a bad day. After you two smoke a bit and you’re high, Eddie decides you might just be ready to open up a bit.

“Sooooo sarge. Why were you just sitting outside my trailer earlier? You feelin okay?”

Your head has been swimming with thoughts of your job ever since you left work today. You can’t help but think about it so you open the floodgates slightly.

“Eddie…what did you mean when you said I didn’t seem like the type?”

“What?”

“Last time I was here….you said I didn’t seem like the type to be a cop. Like I didn’t enjoy it. What makes you say that?”

Eddie sighed heavily and took a hit from the joint you two had been sharing. He was deep in thought for a moment before he finally exhaled and began to speak.

“Just every time I’ve seen you working. It’s clear that you put everything into whatever you do but you just don’t seem happy. Like you’d rather be doing something else..”

This time it was you who sighed as you took the joint from him and took a hit.

“I just want to help people…thought this was the best way to do that”

Eddie laughed and you held the joint out to him and he took it. He placed it in his other hand and took a hit and used his free hand to grab yours. As he held it he made sure to look at you. Leaning in slightly against the couch cushions.

"Babe no offence but even retail workers do more to help people than the cops"

You let out a real loud genuine laugh that surprised him. He took note of it and knew he’d try and get you to laugh like that again later.

You took hold of his hand a little tighter and brought it closer to your face to examine his rings.

“I got another job offer actually….so I guess I’m actually thinking about leaving the station”

“What would the job be?”

“I’d be a writer. For the Hawkins post..” you didn’t release his hand but you reached across him to grab the joint and take another hit.

“Well that sounds great! I think you should do it. You always did have a knack for writing. If I remember correctly”

His remark made you pause. How could he know you liked writing?

“How did you know I liked writing?”

You looked at his face and he was clearly avoiding making eye contact with you and his cheeks looked a little rosier than they previously had.

“You uh-you wrote this short story once. It won this award at school and everything and they published it in the Hawkins high newsletter. I remember reading it. It was really good. I remember thinking “yeah I’d give someone an award for that””.

You gazed at him as he recounted reading the story you’d written. You remember it well. It was about this girl and the monsters she hunted. You’re surprised he remembered it at all but even more surprised that he remembered it this well. As he spoke you moved closer and placed the joint in his other hand and he moved to smoke it without stopping his story.

When he finished he turned to look at you on the sofa. Faces now only inches apart. Neither of you spoke as you looked into each other’s eyes. For how much you two had been smoking you both felt the most sober you’d felt in your entire lives as you looked at each other.

Sitting there staring at those big brown eyes so intensely you couldn’t help yourself. You leaned in so quickly and gave him a peck on the lips. Just ever so lightly. Before pulling away and staring at him with wide eyes that matched his own.

His face cracked into a bright smile as he leaned in and kissed you again. Cupping your face in his hands as he pulled you closer. You decided to push further as you swiped your tongue across his lips and he got the hint. The more you pushed your tongue into his mouth the harder it became for him to suppress his moans. When one finally slipped out you hummed back contempt.

You shuffled further across the couch and straddled his lap and his hands found their way to your waist keeping you steady. As you grind down on him causing him to groan, he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and bites. Causing you to moan and he can’t help but smile into your continued kiss. As you continue to grind down on his now fully formed erection Eddie decided to take this from the living room.

Without breaking the kiss Eddie rises from the couch and you wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you towards his room. Refusing to break the kiss and watch where he’s going he does end up stumbling a couple times. Always catching you two before you fall and pushing you up against the walls for some rough kisses.

As you reach his room he drops down on his mattress with you on top of him. You sit back up for a moment breaking the kiss and just grinding down on him for a moment. As you look up something shiny catches your attention. You look up to find a pair of handcuffs hanging above his bed and you laugh.

Reaching forward and grabbing them Eddie realizes what you’ve been looking at and hides his face in his hands.

“Sarge I can explain-“

“Oh can you now? Explain why you stole my handcuffs off my desk as we were leaving the station that night. As if I didn’t see you”

He peaked at you in between his fingers and he was clearly smiling.

“What can you blame me?….I just wanted a keepsake of our time together”

As you sat there twirling the handcuffs in your hand you got an idea. So you set the handcuffs to the side and began grinding down on him again causing him to groan.

His hands found their way to the hem of your shirt and he began tugging on it so you leaned back and removed it quickly. Shedding your bra as well and standing up to remove your pants and underwear and Eddie followed suit.

Now both naked and standing in front of each other you lean up and place a kiss on the tattoo on Eddie’s chest. He strokes your arms lightly as you do.

“Tell me what you want baby…tell me what you want and I’ll do it”

You slowly bent down to the floor next to his mattress. Making sure to wiggle your ass just a little bit as temptation. And when you stood back up you were holding the handcuffs. Jingling them a little bit. He cracked a smile and walked toward you. Holding your hand and the handcuffs.

“You want em on me or you baby?”

You thought about it momentarily. As much as you’d love to cuff him right now you’ll save that for another time.

“On me..for now” you made sure to give him a wink as you placed the handcuffs in his hand. He pulled you towards him by your waist and bent down to kiss you deeply. As he kissed you he guided you back down towards the mattress and you followed his direction. Once on the bed he took your arms into his hands and lifted them above your head and he cuffed them together before placing them behind the bed post.

“Not too tight are they?” He gave your wrists a quick shake as you nodded your head no to indicate your wrists are okay.

“Words baby. Words. They’re not too tight right?”

“No. They’re perfect”

“Good girl”

Having him call you good girl sent a feeling straight through your body causing you to shiver slightly against him and he chuckled lightly.

“Oh come on sarge you’re telling me good girl is what gets you going”

He ran his hands up your torso and massaged your breasts and you began to squirm.

As he took your nipple into his mouth and sucked on it you couldn’t help but release a string of moans at the sensation.

He let off for a moment but kept massaging them as he came up to press a rough kiss to your lips.

“God I love all those sounds you're making, baby. Can you feel how hard you’re making me? Fuck keep making those sounds alright?”

One of his hands slowly works its way down your body groping you all the way. Stopping on your thigh and working it’s way between your legs as you spread them for him. As he runs his fingers along your wet folds you begin to moan his name.

“Good girl. Keep saying my name. Want you to say it so loud that we get a noise complaint”

He finally pressed a finger to your clit and began rubbing slow deep circles causing you to whimper out as he kissed you.

“Yeah baby just like that. Louder even. I want you so loud that they call the cops and all your coworkers get to walk up to this trailer and hear how good I’m making you feel. How good you deserve to feel.”

God he was saying all the right things to you. With all the stress of the day you could feel yourself getting more and more worked up at every movement he made. He gave you one more deep kiss before he started making his way further down your body.

He sat up and spread your legs wider and settled down between them. His mouth is right over your folds. Practically drooling he just wanted to taste you already.

“Baby look at me”

You open your eyes and look down to see Eddie between your legs.

“Is this okay sweetheart?”

“Y-yes please. Please”

That’s all he needed before his mouth was wrapped around your clit sucking hard. You yelped out a moan and tried to reach your hand down to his hair forgetting your hands were cuffed above you. You’d never used cuffs before and you didn’t realize how much it would affect you. Not being able to grab anything to help steady or ground yourself in any way you just continue moaning out, getting increasingly louder.

Eddie couldn’t get enough of it as he stared up at you. Watching you squirm and moan and scream his name. Your hips began arching off the bed and he used a steady firm hand to press you back down to the mattress and he tugged your waist closer to his face. He was eating you like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. He was a feral man starved and you were a buffet.

Finally he decided to press a finger into you and start moving it in and out. Curling it in an attempt to find that one spot. He knew he found it when your whole body shook and you were so shocked that the moan you let out was completely silent. He removed his finger and plunged back in with two finding that same spot and it made you whimper. Eddie had thought the moaning and screaming was the best sound he could get you to make. But having you whimpering his name over and over again like he was a god?

He quickened the pace of his fingers and began to eat you out with much more fervor. He began to grind against the mattress for relief because he’s pretty sure he’s never been this hard in his entire life and it’s making him a little light headed.

You begin to feel that familiar feeling building in the pit of your stomach. But you’ve never felt it quite this intense and you’re trying to find the words to let him know you’re close but your mind is not really working anymore.

“Ed- Ed- I-I-think- I’m oh god I’m-I’m-“

He pressed your hips down to the mattress and sped up his pace and then he felt it. You clenched down on his fingers and began to squirt all over his face. He could feel and see your entire body convulsing underneath him and he felt like he was in paradise watching you. He slowed his movements and worked you down from your high before he kissed his way back up your body. He didn’t kiss your lips cause your juices were all over his mouth so you leaned up as best you could to initiate the kiss.

When he pulled away he stroked your face gently and ran his thumb across your jaw.

“You wanna call it quits or do you think you can handle a bit more?”

A wide smirk flowed across your face

“Oh I can handle more”

You were out of breath and clearly fucked out of your mind and that made Eddie even more turned on. He couldn’t wait to feel you. He leaned over to his side table and ripped open a condom and slid it on himself. Fisting it a couple times and already feeling on edge. He had no idea how he was going to last in you. Pausing he looked at you in the handcuffs.

“You wanna keep those on or no?”

You tugged them a couple times as you thought about it. “Let’s keep em on actually”

He gave your thigh a little tap indicating you to spread your legs again and you did. He kissed you deeply as he lined himself up with your hole and pressed in. You’d already been mentally preparing for his size since you two got naked but it didn’t prepare you just enough for the stretch.

Once he was about half way, he stilled his movements for you to adjust and you took a few deep breaths before giving a nod. He pushed all the way in and you winced but kissed his cheek as he moved his head to the crook of your neck. He wasn’t moving quite yet but he was rocking back and forth ever so gently. Once you gave him the go ahead to move he pulled out fully and plunged back in hard and deeper than before. Both of you groaning at the sensation.

He finally started to move his hips and found a rhythm he liked and began snapping his hips deeper. His bed slapping against the wall and pushing you deeper and deeper into the mattress as you cried out his name. He was so deep and going so hard and yet all you felt was overwhelming pleasure. Blinding pleasure. You didn’t know it could feel this good. It never had before.

His hands worked their way up to grip the mattress beside your head as he pushed further. His head in the crook of your neck as he speaks into your ear in a breathless voice.

“Fuck..y/n…im not- im not gonna- im not gonna last- you feel so so good”

Hearing him say that made you glad because you were already teetering on the edge of another orgasm and every snap of his hip brought you closer to it.

“Me-me too Eddie”

“Good-Good girl”

He began pounding into you harder, faster. Every stroke in and out felt like it was sucking all the air out of you and everything was getting so sloppy and messy. Kissing each other roughly, biting lips, swapping strings of spit. Everything was melding together and then you felt it wash over you. Throwing your head back with a large gasp as you came all over him. He followed you over the edge as you clenched around him and he dug his face into your chest as he whimpered out your name as his whole body convulsed.

It took you both a while to come down and regulate your breathing. He pulled out and discarded himself of the condom and then released you from your handcuffs. Making sure to rub your wrists gently and leaving a few kisses around them.

Not much was said as you two got cleaned up and he let you borrow one of his oversized band shirts. You were both so exhausted that you passed out rather quickly after that. Somewhere in the night in your sleep you two reached out for one another and when you woke up in the very early hours of the morning you found yourself sleeping in a tight embrace with Eddie.

Without waking him you quietly gathered your things from around the trailer and began to make your way to the door.

“He really likes you ya know”

The unexpected voice made you practically jump out of your skin as you turned to face Wayne who was sitting on the couch sipping a beverage and reading. You considered your words carefully.

“I really like him too”

He raised his cup towards you in a cheering motion and turned his attention back to his reading as you quietly left the trailer and got into your car. You had a plan for the day and decided to hop to it.

Going home and showering before changing into some regular clothes and gathering your things to bring them to the station. When you walk in you can’t help but feel all the eyes in the station on you. Being fairly obvious with the box you’re carrying and the lack of uniform. You walk into Hoppers office.

“Uh y/l/n? Where’s your uniform?”

“Jim. I thought about your offer. About the detective work and what not and I’ve come to the conclusion that this just isn’t for me. So I’m here to give you my gun, my badge and pack up my things”

Hopper sat there dumbfounded. Having no idea what led to your quitting and he watched as you turned heel and packed up your desk rather quickly. A bit sad since he’d given Florence the day off and had originally planned for you to do her work today.

You didn’t bother to say any goodbyes as you left the station for the last time. Your next stop was the Hawkins post. Walking in and heading straight for Nancy’s office and tapping lightly on the doorframe.

“Oh! Hi y/n. How are you?”

“I’m actually really good Nancy….I just turned in my badge…came by to see if that writing position was still available”

Nancy’s face lit up as she stood and dragged you further into the office. She explained what your job duties would be and gave you your first writing assignment and you couldn’t help but feel overjoyed. She gave you a tour of the Hawkins post and the entire time you were just filled with an overjoyed feeling of belonging.

Around noon Nancy asked if you’d like to go to lunch with her and you agreed. You guys walked around the corner to a local diner and got a table.

“So y/n what convinced you to leave and join us at the post?”

“Oh well you know how it is. Nobody there respected me and It was never going to be what I wanted it to be. A friend of mine helped me realize that no matter what job I have I’ll be able to help people somehow”

“Oh? And what friend of yours do I have to thank for bringing you to this realization?”

You blushed deeply and stared down at the plate of fries you’d ordered.

“Um, you might remember him from highschool. His name is Eddie Munson?”

Nancy gasped and put her sandwich down.

“Eddie Munson? Hellfire club leader Eddie Munson? Mike's mentor Eddie Munson?”

“Jeez Nance say it a little louder I don’t think God quite heard you. Anyways yes that is the Eddie I was referring to.”

You finally looked up from your fries to gauge her reaction and saw her smiling at you with a smug expression.

“What?”

“Oh nothing. I’m just glad your “friend” was able to help you realize this”

The air quotes around a friend let you know that she already knew what you hadn’t yet said. Nancy could always read you like that. So you decided to open up to her a bit.

“Okay maybe he’s not a friend exactly…”

“Oh? Really? What could he possibly be then?”

You didn’t appreciate the sarcasm in her tone but chuckles at her humor nonetheless.

“Well we kind of…slept together last night.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Well did you two talk at all? What happened after? Are you guys together?”

“Ummmm well we fell asleep together and I woke up to him wrapped around me and then I snuck out and quit my job?”

Nancy put her sandwich down once again and brought her hands up to her face.

“So you slept with him and then snuck out of his house while he was asleep?”

“Hey hey hey Wheeler need I remind you of the time you pulled that with Steve?”

“That was different we were already dating and I had curfew”

“Okay well then what should I have done? Oh god what should I do now?”

“Well it doesn’t matter what you should have done but now I’d say to definitely call him. Or maybe go talk to him in person?”

“You’re right….I should talk to him later. I’ll call him when I get home.”

***

When you arrived home you dropped the box of your police belongings on the floor by the door and walked over to your phone. The light on it is blinking so you pick up the phone.

“5 missed calls. 2 new messages”

You decide to listen to one of the messages and as soon as you hear the voice you realize the calls must all be from Eddie.

“Uh hey y/n…it’s me Eddie. I uh woke up and you weren’t here so I figured you probably had to go into work..um anyways if you wanna drop by later I’ll be home all day today…” the message cut off and you started the second one.

“Uh hey y/n itd Eddie again. About that last message Uh in case you don’t wanna drop by today that’s totally cool too. No problem you know but the offer still stands anyways…uh yeah but uh call me when you get the chance”

You could tell over the messages that he was nervous. You’d clearly confused him by sneaking out like that and he probably thinks he did something wrong. You debate on calling him back for a moment but quickly decide against it.

Instead, choose to grab your keys and head over to Eddie’s. Arriving at his trailer in your normal car and hopping out to knock on the door. Before you get the chance to knock, the door swings open and Wayne runs right into you.

“Oh hi y/n.”

“Hi Wayne. Is Eddie in?”

“Oh yah. He’s been racking his brain about you all day. Please fix him and shut him up. Anyways I’m off to work. Mind making sure he eats for me?”

“Of course Wayne no problem”

You walk by Wayne into the trailer and close the door. Making your way towards Eddie’s room and knocking on the door.

“You forget something Wayne?”

“Uhhhhh no? Well yeah but I’m not Wayne-“

The door swung open and your eyes met Eddie’s which were opened very wide.

“Oh y/n…it’s you. So uh what are you doing here?”

He walked back into his room and sat on his mattress holding his guitar. Taking a puff of a cigarette before setting it back in the ashtray.

“I uh wanted to apologize Eddie. I didn’t mean to leave like that this morning but I had a lot to do today and didn’t really think about how it would seem beforehand. When I got home and heard your messages I rushed right over”

Eddie exhaled a huge sigh of relief and stood up hanging his guitar on the wall. He turned around and stalked towards you quickly and before you knew it you were in a tight hug.

“Jesus y/n I was going insane. Thought I might have screwed something up. Misread the situation and maybe you thought it was a one night stand. Was it?”

He released you from the hug and leaned back to gauge his reaction. You cupped his face in your hands and stroked your thumb across his jaw.

“I mean I don’t know about you Eddie but I really hope it wasn’t a one time thing. I actually really like you”

He grabbed your face and pulled you in for a kiss but neither of you could stop smiling so you two parted for a moment just holding each other.

“So sarge can I ask what had you so busy that you had to skip out on me this morning?”

“Well for one I’m not sarge anymore…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I quit. I quit and took the job at the post I told you about. So I’m not “sarge” anymore. I mean not that I ever was a Sargent but still.”

He leaned forward and kissed your earlobe,nibbling on it a little bit.

“Does this mean I can’t call you sarge at all then?” His hand moved down and squeezed your thigh and you started breathing heavily.

“Well hold on Eddie…now I didn’t say that”

He moved from your ear and peppered kisses along your jaw. Moving down to suck on your neck. You move your hands and tangle them into his hair and grab it. Not too rough but enough to cause him to groan.

It’s not long before you’re both naked on the bed. You reach for the handcuffs.

“Your turn, big boy. Hands up”

He smiled wide and lifted his arms above his head laying back fully on the mattress as you straddled him. As you tightened the cuffs around his wrist and he bucked his up.

“Not too tight right?”

“Not at all, baby they’re perfect. Now get down here and kiss me”

You obliged and began to grind on him as you kissed him. Reaching your hand down and giving him a few good strokes before sinking down on him fully. Ignoring the pain and taking him all the way. He groaned heavily and you could hear the tug of the handcuffs.

Finally you find a pace and begin to move up and down and the sounds Eddie begins to make are driving you insane. Eddie opens his eyes and watches the way you bounce on top of him. His eyes jiggled along with your breasts. He bucked his hips up to meet yours. Hitting you at an entirely new deep angle. You couldn’t get enough of it. You tilted your head down and made eye contact with Eddie. Neither of you broke eye-contact as you continued riding him. He wanted so badly to reach out and grab you and grope you all over and he was straining so hard against the handcuffs. He loved every second of it.

He could feel you getting close as you began to become tighter around him and he was just trying to hold out long enough for you to come first. He tried to buck his hips up faster but without his hands to steady himself all of his movements were becoming sloppy.

He felt himself stutter as his orgasm overtook him and he whimpered out your name and he maintained eye-contact and watched as you threw your head back as your own orgasm overtook you.

As you both came down you reached over and grabbed the key from Eddie’s side table. Unlocking his cuffs and grabbing his wrists. Massaging them the way he had for you the prior night. Leaving a trail of kisses on his wrists. After that you pulled yourself off of him and collapsed next to him on the bed.

Turning to face him and he turned to you snaking his hand around you waist as he pushed you into the mattress for a kiss.

“So sarge you staying the full night this time?”

“I’d really like that.”

The two of you got cleaned up and you changed into one of his t-shirts and he pulled on some boxers before crawling back into bed with you. As you prepared to cuddle into him you grabbed the handcuffs and returned them to their spot above the bed. You may not be a cop anymore but you’ll make damn good use of your handcuffs.

[gilmore-angel]

runaway || n.b x reader

summary: narcissa helps you get ready for your wedding but cant help being sad at the thought of losing you.

warnings: arranged marriage, cussing.

genre: angst!!!!!! some fluff ig but angst!!!!

a/n: finally writing for bby narcissa!!! I love this girly sm. if you like this fic then please reblog! reblogs help sooo much! hope you enjoy<3333333

navigation | masterlist | @baysfics is my library account, turn on notifications to know when I post a fic<3

taglist: @pottahishotasf | if you would like to be added just lmk!

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"how do i look, cissa?" you asked, walking into your bedroom from the bathroom where you and your friends were getting you ready.

she turned around from where she was standing by your widow, lightly gasping when she saw you in your wedding dress.

"i- yes, you look b-beautiful." she stuttered, praying you didn't notice the blush that bled across her pale cheeks.

you smiled shyly at her, "thank you. would you mind doing my makeup?"

her eyes lit up, "yes, yes of course!" she excitedly answered.

you asked your other friends to leave the room so you could be alone with narcissa. you sit down in the chair in front of your vanity, moving it slightly so narcissa could get in front of you.

"so, are you nervous?" she asked, grabbing the primer that sat on your vanity.

"a little," you answered honestly, "but i'll be okay."

she simply hummed in response. she continued to do most of your makeup in silence, only breaking it to ask you about a color of eyeshadow.

suddenly she stopped, just staring blankly.

"cissa?" your eyebrows furrowed. "cissa are you okay?"

she snapped back into reality, blinking rapidly trying to refocus.

"oh, um, yes. sorry." she said, just above a whisper. she attempted to go back to your makeup but paused again.

"dont do it." she almost whimpered.

"what?" you replied.

"dont go, dont go to the wedding. dont say yes." she begged.

"i- why wouldn't i?" you grew incredibly confused.

she scoffed, "the real question is why would you? I mean, do you truly want to spend the rest of your life with some pureblood twat?"

"narcissa!" this was very out of character for her to say. she opened up to you about how she never truly believed in pureblood supremacy. she also told you how she didn't like the idea of being forced to marry a random guy. but she, much like you, just accepted it.

"oh dont act like you dont think it too. what could you possibly gain from this marriage, hmm? you've never wanted that life y/n." she began to get heated, something she didn't do often.

"narcissa," you sighed, "i appreciate your concern, but i'll be fine. i mean, it might be nice, i'll have a couple of kids, go to a bunch of balls, it might be f-"

"bullshit!" she loudly interrupted, "that's such bullshit and you know it! you're lying to yourself!"

you grew angry, why was she getting mad at you? it's not your fault this is the way things have been since forever. you stood up, making yourself eye to eye with her.

"so what? this is just the way it is! what do you expect me to do, huh?" you yelled.

"runaway with me." she breathed.

"what?"

"you heard me, let's go. neither of us want this life, so why stay?" her eyes began to water.

"i- you know we couldn't do that." you whispered sadly.

"why couldn't we? what's stopping us?"

just as you were going to respond you heard a knock on the door, soon followed by one of your bridesmaids coming in.

"y/n it's time! are you ready?" she smiled.

you sighed, "almost, i'll be out soon." you forced a smile.

she walked back out with a nod. you turned back to narcissa and took her hand in yours.

"listen, i love you, i always will, but i have to do this." you tried holding in the tears that threatened to spill.

"please," she said before a sob overtook her, "please, i promise i could give you the best life, only the best." she took the hand that wasn't holding you and put it on the siad of your face, stroking it softly.

"i'm sorry," you whimpered, pulling away from her, "i have to go."

you quickly walked to the door, opening it, but not before turning around to give her one last look. you felt your heart break more than it already had at the pained look in her eyes, silently begging you to stay.

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"the flowers are rather ugly." bella said, receiving a smack on the head by andromeda. normally narcissa would've laughed at her sisters, but all she could do was stare ahead at your soon to be husband. if looks could kill he would of been on the floor the second his eyes met hers. he was a prick, he would never be able to make you happy. she could make you happy.

she was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of the music starting, indicating you were coming down the aisle.

you looked like a angel, like always. the way your dress was flowing as you walked was breathtaking.

you reached where your fiance was standing, slight panic filling your body at the realization that this was about to happen. you thought of what narcissa said, but pushed those thoughts form your brain, 'I cant be another sirius, I cant be the new disappointment' you thought.

both you and narcissa were zoned out during most of the ceremony, you being distracted by narcissa, and her being distracted by you.

you only came back to reality when you heard your fiancees name.

"malcolm malfoy, do you take y/n y/l/n as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"yes, yes I do." he said proudly.

"and do you, y/n y/l/n take malcolm malfoy as your lawfully wedded husband?"

narcissas leg began to bounce wondering what your response would be. she hoped you would come to your senses. she hoped you would realize the amazing life she could give you. she hoped you would understand that you didn't need your family's when you had each other.

you made eye contact with her, not failing to notice the tears beginning to form. you looked at where your mother sat, seeing the threatening look she had. and finally you looked back at your fiance.

"i do."

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