#saw some bullshit and since the best way to respond to bullshit is to love even harder - here we are! phee is great! i love phee!

[probadbatch]

You know what I really like about Phee?

She is ride or die with these boys and Omega.

Need somewhere safe to lay low now that you're finished with Cid? Phee will take you to her home and see that you are welcomed like family. You need help tracking down intel on a top secret imperial project? Phee's on it. Want to break into an imperial prison and free a world class douchebag so you can break into an even more secure black ops site later? Phee's got you, no questions asked.

Yeah, back in the first half of season two it probably was just that she had the hots for Tech and liked having some extra muscle with her on her adventures. But by the time she takes them to Pabu, it's super clear that she cares deeply about all of them. Lyana tells us that Phee has never brought anyone to Pabu with her but we see her bring the squad there like it was the most natural obvious thing in the galaxy.

Yeah she and Tech had their almost-thing but even now when Tech is (supposedly) gone, she sticks around. It was never just about what she wanted from him. If it was, she'd be gone too. Maybe she stuck around a little for Tech's sake, to honor him, but mostly it's about how much she loves them all as her own family.

And just like CF99, she'll do anything for her family.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Five

Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)

You call Meredith when you get home.

You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.

How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.

"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."

"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"

"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."

"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.

"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."

"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."

"That works."

"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."

It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.

"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.

"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."

The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.

Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.

But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.

You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.

You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.

Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.

“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...

“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”

"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"

"You won't return any of our messages."

"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."

"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.

"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.

Dammit.

"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."

"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.

"Why not?" He countered.

“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”

He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.

You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.

God...

That felt good.

You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...

You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.

[smoochkooks]

—chapter twenty: this hope is treacherous

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, smut

word count: 2.4k words summary: it is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. but for a while, you did.

previous || next

Jungkook [Thursday, May 3rd, 05:32 pm]

How did it go? Soojin says everything’s fine between you

Want to grab bulgogi on Saturday? Same place as usual

Jungkook [Saturday, May 5th, 01:05 am]

Is everything alright? You haven’t been answering my texts

Jungkook [Saturday, may 5th, 03:45 pm]

Can I call you?

Two missed calls from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th, 9:33 am]

Are you sick? Do you need something? I can drop by later today after work

I’m worried

Why are you not responding????

YN?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 06:15 pm]

Jungkook, sorry I have been MIA this past few days. I needed some time to think and I decided I want to keep some distance between us from now on.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:23 pm]

What are you talking about? I thought we were good.

Did Soojin say something to you?

You  [Wednesday, May 9th  06:25 pm]

No, nothing happened. Soojin accepted my apology and she decided to move on, as I think we all should.

It was solely my decision and I need you to respect it

One missed call from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:26 pm]

You won’t even answer my calls?

Come on YN, this is ridiculous

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  08:15 pm]

Fine. I’ll respect your decision. Can I at least talk to you in person about it?

Please

“You’ve been staring at your phone for the past ten minutes, babe. Jungkook’s not going jump out of it, you can calm down for a sec.” Dahyun says from her place on your couch.

It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays for Dahyun are reserved for self-care, which often means trying out new face mask recipes she saw on TikTok. And since, as she stated a long time ago, “You’re my bestest friend, ever, ___” you are obligated to take part in it as well. If you refuse to participate, you should gear up for the Cheong Dahyun’s wrath.

That’s why you’re currently soaking your feet in a mixture of soap, bathing oils and a secret ingredient Dahyun doesn’t want to disclose, with a hydrating sheet mask on your face.

You lock your phone and throw it to the other side of the couch. “I should probably just ignore him completely.”

Dahyun rips off her sheet mask in a way too dramatic manner and turns to look at you. “And let that she-devil win? Fuck, no!” she blurts out.

You snort. “She-devil?”

“I would call her the b-word but I’m trying to cut down on derogatory terms when referring to women, even those who deserve to be called that,” she explains, massaging her neck with the sheet mask’s oily residue. “Anyway, I think you should tell Jungkook the truth. She’s manipulating both you and him!”

“If a say a word to Jungkook, she’s going to write a post on her social media and not only expose me, but also accuse of having an affair with him.” you reason.

“Just tell Jungkook she’s threatening you. He’s going to see right-through her bullshit, leave her alone and be with you,” Dahyun shrugs like your predicament isn’t complex at all, and motions for you to take your feet out of the water. She tosses you a white towel and hands an opaque container. “Now put that onto your feet. Girls on TikTok are saying they will feel like heaven. And smell like lavender too!”

You scoop the cream onto your nail and sigh. “It’s not that easy. She is his wife and he loves her, of course he will take her side. He might not even believe me,” you say. Your eyebrows involuntarily rise, inhaling the cream’s scent. “It does smell like lavender.”

Dahyun makes ‘I told you so’ face before replying, “You’ve got twenty years of friendship on her.”

 “And unrequited crush, and a whole book about it.” you point out.

“I forgot how complicated your life has become these days,” Dahyun says, shaking her head. “So what? You’re just going to give up? Ignore his messages, calls, don’t answer the door when he’s on the other side, hide in the bush when you’ll  randomly see him on the street and only contact him once a year for his birthday?” she asks.

Initially, your plan was to wait a few weeks after your confrontation with Soojin and eventually things would get back to normal, slowly and steadily. You’re used to being on stand-by, after all. But that was before you actually met up with her to talk. Before she’s threatened to reveal your biggest secret to the whole world. Variété would never grant you another book deal after such scandal. You would be ruined for good and blacklisted by every single publishing company in this country. You can’t risk your career like that. Not now, not when you’re already working on your new book and this time you decided to release it under your real name.

You think about your parents. What would they think about their daughter? Surely they would feel disappointed. Lastly, you think about Jungkook. If you let Soojin get away with her threats, you might lose Jungkook for good. And that would slowly kill you.

“Okay, fine. I will try to talk to him about it.” you finally decide.

Dahyun claps her hands. “I knew it! Gosh, You’re down bad for this man, aren’t you?” she asks, grinning.

“Stop teasing me or I’m going to cancel our next self-care Wednesday.”

She gasps. “You wouldn’t. I have gua-sha massages planned for that day.”

“Try me!”

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:08 pm]

Okay. We can talk in person

Jungkook  [Wednesday, May 9th 11:09 pm]

I’m visiting Busan this weekend. Soojin has a business trip so I’ll be alone

Would you like to go with me?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:12 pm]

Busan is fine by me. I missed my parents

I will take the train though.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th 11:13 pm]

See you there

“There she is! My lovely daughter!”

It’s the first thing you hear after getting off the train at the railway station in Busan. Your mum hugs you tight and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Your dad couldn’t leave work earlier today so I’m picking you up instead,” She puts her hands on your shoulders and eyes you carefully. The smile she was wearing just seconds ago leaves her face. “I can tell you haven’t been eating well! What have I told you? You need to eat or you won’t have any energy!”

There it is. The world could be on fire and your mom would still worry about you not eating enough. Twenty-something years have gone by, and she’s still relentlessly reminding you to do so.

You roll your eyes, as you always do. “What did you make for dinner, then?” you ask, opening the car’s trunk and putting your bag there.

Your mom’s mood instantly lights up. “Chicken soup and jajangmyeon, your favorite,” she answers and starts the engine. “By the way, Jungkookie is also at his parents’, he arrived yesterday. Why haven’t you come with him?”

“I had a meeting at the publishing company that I couldn’t postpone,” you lie. “I’m meeting him later today, though.”

“I can’t believe my daughter is going to be a published author so-hey, you idiot! Who gave you a driving license?!” she yells. The young driver raises his hand in apology and your mom huffs. “It’s always the young ones! Anyway, do you know that Jungkook never visits his parents with that wife of his? I’ve only seen her once, during their engagement party for the whole family. You know which one, they did a big barbecue in the backyard. She seemed nice then, but a bit too standoffish, don’t you think? She comes from money, right?”

“Yeah, her parents own a company in Seoul that distributes vegetables and fruits all over the country. They also export, I think.” you reply, staring at the busy streets of Busan. You would probably rather talk about sex with your mom than discuss Jungkook’s marriage life, but your mom is a busy-body and loves gossip too much to let that slide.

To say the last, Soojin’s father is a big name in the industry. Jungkook told you once that he had to attend a dinner with Soojin and her parents, hosted by the minister of agriculture. You remember how much Jungkook worried he might not fit in the family. Soojin grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth, attending private schools and going on vacations overseas. The summer after they officially had started dating, Jungkook worked two jobs so he could afford to go to Thailand with her. What was a standard for Soojin, was a hard-earned commodity for Jungkook.

Your mom whistles. “No wonder she doesn’t like coming here to Busan. Too posh for that, ha! And especially now, with two extra people in the house. Oh, ___, they are such cute babies! Everyone is head over heels for them.” she says, beaming.

You smile to yourself. Junghyun, Jungkook’s older brother, got married four years before him to his high school sweetheart and few months ago she got birth to twins. Knowing Jungkook, he’s probably spoiling them with presents every time he visits.

And speaking of the devil, you notice his car immediately as your mom pulls up to your driveway. With a heavy sigh, you brace yourself for what’s to come.

Four years ago, Junghyun’s wedding party

“So, my dear brother, when am I going to dance at your wedding?”

Junghyun was clearly drunk, his speech slurred as he wrapped his hands around Jungkook’s shoulders and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. You giggled, positively buzzed yourself.

“I’m twenty-one and I just got back from the military. Let me live a little.” Jungkook grumbled and shoved his older brother away.

Really, it had been a little over two months now. His hair had grown into a nice length, the buzzcut long gone. He had gotten more buff, his dress shirt holding for dear life in some places. He’s matured, no longer a nineteen-year-old who had just finished high school but a grown adult.

Truth to be told, you missed him terribly.

Junghyun sat next to Jungkook, opened yet another soju bottle and poured a shot for each one of you. “To my beautiful wife Mina. I love you, honey!” he shouted and downed the alcohol. You could see Mina from across the room shaking her head with a soft smile playing on her lips. You grew up watching them fall for each other more and more with every passing day. If soulmates existed, Mina and Junghyun were definitely destined to be together.

“What about that birdie you’re dating now, huh? Sodam or something? Huh?” Junghyun asked, poking Jungkook in the ribs teasingly.

Jungkook’s already flushed cheeks, reddened ever more. “Her name’s Soojin and we are not dating. We went on one date,” he said sternly. “Besides, she’s out of my league. Her parents are super rich. Do you know she’s been to Paris this summer? She probably doesn’t know how cup noodles taste like!”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing, then.” Junghyun shrugged his shoulders. He poured himself another shot of soju and looked at you, then at his younger brother, his face weirdly serious all of a sudden. “You know what I think?” he asked.

“I haven’t gained the ability to read your thoughts yet, hyung.”

Junghyun smacked Jungkook’s head. “Aish, who taught you to speak like that to your hyung?” You knew that, from the way Jungkook was biting his lips to refrain from laughing, that he wanted so badly to answer: “You did!”, but he decided to let Junghyun continue his drunken monologue. “I think that you and ___ will end up together one day.”

You tried to conceal your surprised expression with a chuckle. “Me and Jungkook? Please, I wouldn’t stand his ass.”

“Hey!”

Junghyun shook his head. “I’m serious. Best relationships, the ones that last years and years, are made out of friendship. Your partner should be your best friend! Look at our parents! Look at me and Mina! We’ve been friends throughout the whole middle school, tiptoeing around each other before one us decided to finally make a move. And now we’re married.” he said, his gaze longingly fixated on his wife. You dared to glance at Jungkook, thinking you’d find him amused by his brother’s drunken speech, but he was looking at Junghyun, not a hint of smile on his lips. “I think that it might take you a while to get there but eventually, I’ll dance at your wedding. And I’ll be really, really happy to do so.”

It is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. But for a while, you did. You replayed that moment over and over again in your head. You thought about Jungkook, his stoic expression while listening to his older brother. How he did not protest. How maybe, he could too imagine that happening. But then he went on another date with Soojin, and another. Started working extra hours to afford her lifestyle. Years gone by, and for some unknown reason, you still hold that memory close to your broken heart. 

[joeshiestyslover]

i hate u

pairing: lsu!fratboy!joe burrow x volleyballplayer!reader

summary: you and joe were together before he transferred to lsu, when he broke your heart, but what happens when you end up transferring to the same college?

warnings: language, angst, joe’s an asshole

a/n: i got some inspo from a request and tied in a sza song bc i love her. also there will be a part 2

lowercase intended

masterlist

today’s the day your entire life changes, but little do you know, in more ways than one. a couple months ago just before your junior year ended, you were offered an athletic scholarship to play volleyball for lsu instead of ohio state. you immediately accepted because as much as you love your home state, you were tired of sitting on the bench waiting to finally play on the court. lsu offered you a starting position, so you would’ve been crazy to not say yes. 

you’re ready to leave ohio behind and forget the bad memories, well one bad memory in particular. you began dating your childhood best friend in college, after waiting for him to love you back your entire childhood. ever since you met, you both were inseparable, doing absolutely everything together, including college when you both were accepted to ohio state. the moment you started dating, you were the happiest you had been in a long time, and that happiness you thought would last forever, it only lasted three years. 

he decided to transfer from ohio state to lsu to play football because he was never given the chance to be starting quarterback, and lsu just happened to give him that chance. you were worried at first because he was going to be the furthest away that he had ever been, but he was quick to reassure you everything was going to be fine and that he was never going to forget about you or neglect you. 

oh, how you wish you never believed his bullshit lies.

after a couple weeks of him being in louisiana, he started to call less, basically ignoring your entire existence. you had planned to talk to him about it one night over facetime, but that morning you received a text from him that simply read, i think we need to take a break. you texted and called himnumerous times, trying to get him to explain, but he never responded or picked up your calls. after hundreds of unread texts and voicemails, you gave up. you still tried to keep up with him, looking at his social media accounts, until one day, when you checked a post he was tagged in, you saw him at a party making out with a girl that was perched on his lap. your heart broke, and you decided to block him on everything so you could move on; something that he had clearly already done. 

you are currently carrying the last of your boxes into your dorm room, chatting with your new roommate, eve. “so, why’d you transfer here again?” she asks you. “volleyball. i was tired of sitting on the bench all season.” you respond. “all season? damn.” “yeah i know. it fucking sucked, but that’s why i’m here now.” you tell eve. you finally finish carrying your boxes, and you decide to unpack tomorrow. you lie down onto your bed with a huff, “i forgot how much i hate moving.” you joke. suddenly, you hear a knock at your door, and eve jumps up to answer it. as she opens the door, she exclaims, “joe!”

no. it can’t be.

“oh my god, you have to meet my new roommate. y/n! come over here and meet joe!” you stand up, and slowly start to make your way towards the door. you look at the man in front of you, and make eye contact with him. “y/n!” joe exclaims. “it’s good to see you!” you only offer a small smile in return. “wait, do you two know each other?” eve questions, looking between you and joe. “umm just in passing.” you say, and joe gives you a confused look. “okay? me and joe are going to a party, so i probably won’t be back until after you fall asleep; so i’ll see you later, alright?” eve says. “yeah okay.” you reply as she walks out with joe. as you shut the door, you lean your back against it. “oh my fucking god this can’t be happening to me.” you say quietly to yourself. 

the next few days go by relatively smooth, with you finding your way around, getting your jersey along with your practice schedule, and adjusting to your new classes. you even were able to make a friend in your econ class, ja’marr. ja’marr told you that he’s a wide receiver for the football team, so you knew that he knows joe as well. about a week later, your roommate asks you the question you’ve been dreading. “how do you really know joe because the way he looked at you made it seem there’s more to the two of you than you let on.” you didn’t know how to answer her. you want to tell the truth, but do you want to trust someone you barely know with one of your worst memories? 

“if i tell you this, you cannot tell anyone, okay?” you tell her seriously. she nods, waiting for you to continue. “so, joe and i sorta dated back when we both went to ohio state.” “oh my god really?” she asks, shocked. “wait, there’s more. not only did we date, we were best friends since like childhood. he was literally my next-door neighbor.” eve’s jaw drops. “what happened between you two?” she inquires. “he broke up with me a couple weeks after he transferred here, over text.” “no! over text?! what a douche!” she exclaims. “i know, but after a while, i got over it, and now i’m here.” you say to her. “holy shit. that’s so fucked up, and i promise i won’t tell anyone.” “thank you eve.” you tell her. “but i am going to give you my honest opinion. i think you should talk to joe.” “no.” you have no interest in talking to that sleazeball. “why not? you two can finally clear the air and move on! don’t you want that?” eve tries to reason. “if he wanted to clear the air, he would have done that when he first broke up with me instead of being a coward and not responding to my texts or calls.” you state. 

almost on cue, you hear a knock at the door, maybe it’s one of eve’s friends. you really hope so. “oh hi joe. can you give me and y/n a sec? thanks.” she shuts the door, and you stand up from your bed. “do not tell me you brought him here eve!” you raise your voice slightly. “listen i had no idea about your history with him, so i invited him over here yesterday to watch a movie. i’m so sorry!” eve apologizes. “it’s fine. i’ll just go. text me when he leaves.” “come on, y/n! i think he actually wants to see you!” she says. “well, tough because i don’t want to see him.” you begin to walk towards the door. “please! just stay for a little while! if it gets too much for you, i’ll ask him to leave. please stay.” eve begs. “fine, but you owe me big time.”

eve opens the door, and there stands the boy you fell in love with almost twenty years ago. you briefly make eye contact before looking back at your roommate. “okay joe, come on in. i’ll put on the movie.” you try your best not to look at his face as you both sit down on the beanbags on your floor. the awkward silence deafening until joe speaks up, “so y/n, how have you been?” “umm since you broke my heart, then ran off like a coward? oh i’m just peachy keen!” you say back to him sarcastically, not bothering to make eye contact with him. your remark seems to shut him up until eve comes back over to the both of you after starting the movie.

all throughout the movie, you notice joe stealing glances at you every so often, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t doing the same. once the movie’s over, you’re waiting for eve to kick his sorry ass out of your dorm. for some reason, he isn’t leaving, and you try to get eve’s attention, but she’s too caught up in some conversation with joe. finally, eve walks over to you, and joe is still not leaving. “so umm, i know i said i would tell him to leave, but he wants to talk to you.” she says sheepishly. you sigh, knowing how stubborn joe can be. “five minutes. that’s it.” you tell her. she nods and walks back over to joe, and he looks back at you with a look in his eyes that you can’t quite pinpoint. “i’ll be back guys. y/n, please try not to murder him.” eve calls out to the both of you. 

“so what do you want to talk about?” you ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “i just wanted to tell you that i’m so sorry for what i did to you. i was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it. i just want you to know i never fell out of love with you. hell, i still love you, but-” “joe, stop.” you cut him off. “you don’t get to say you’re sorry because you sure as hell weren’t sorry when you broke my heart a year ago.” you say, coldly. “i know that i can never change what i did to you, but i just want you to know that i really am sorry, even if you don’t believe me.” you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “i thought you loved me joe.” you say, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. “i did love you! i still do!” he starts to raise his voice. “bullshit joe! you’re so fucking selfish! i don’t know why you give a shit all of a sudden! is it because you feel guilty? or do you just feel sorry for me?” you yell. “y/n-” “i don’t care anymore joe! you know why? it’s because you are not the person i fell in love with years ago!” you seethe. “i know, y/n. i know. it wasn’t fair for me to do that to you.” he tells you, looking at his shoes. “you can’t even look at me joe! i mean, did you ever realize you were hurting me? or did you just not care?” “y/n please-” “shut up joe! i hate you! it was so shitty of you to make me feel like that! god, what i would do to make you feel the way i did when you ripped out my heart and stomped on it!” your tears are falling down your face, stalling at your chin, and you don’t even bother to wipe them off. “y/n, just let me explain.” he begs you. “no! you had your chance to explain while you were off fucking random girls last year! you know what joe? fuck you!” a silence takes over the room, and you decide that you’re done with this conversation and joe. “get out.” you say calmly, looking him straight in the eye. “what?” joe’s voice wavers slightly. “you heard me. i said five minutes and it’s been five minutes. it’s time for you to leave.” “okay i understand.” he begins to walk towards you door, but stops to tell you, “just so you know, it has always been you, y/n. i never stopped loving you.”, his voice breaking on the last word, but you just give him a slight nod before he walks out of your dorm.

you walk over to your bed and sit down, staring at the ground. a wave of emotion washes over you, and you start to sob uncontrollably, your chest heaving, feeling as if you can’t breathe. you don’t notice eve being in the room until you feel you bed dip next to you, and her arms wrap around you. you lean into her as she comforts you and tries to calm you down. you don’t know when you could ever forgive joe for what he did to you, but it certainly isn’t now.

a/n: i kinda hate this but oh well

[avatar-anna]

Better Off

Part Seven

Series Masterlist

I gave myself three days.

Three days to be sad and miserable, to cry and let myself feel truly heartbroken. To let everything I felt for Harry wash over me until I was hollow.

Not that anyone but myself knew that, of course. To everyone else, I was the exact same. Harry’s decision didn’t affect me in the slightest. To Sadie, to my brother Javi, to Maddie, to Harry himself, I was perfectly fine.

And after those three days, I was. I decided that I wasn’t actually in love with Harry, I couldn’t have been. I cared for him and Devon deeply, but I was caught up in everything that happened that day at the school. Emotions were heightened, and a feeling I foolishly identified as love took over my body. I was just thankful I never got the chance to tell Harry.

Days turned to weeks then weeks turned to months. I saw Harry, obviously. Devon and Maddie were in the same class, and they were still best friends. But I kept all contact with Harry strictly about play dates and the occasional question about upcoming events at school or homework assignments. In those first initial days, Harry tried to call, tried to text asking to talk, but I refused. My pride as well as my heart had been hurt when he told me we should stop seeing each other, and I couldn’t face him. He finally realized that when the only texts I responded to was a request for Maddie and Devon to play at his house.

Not seeing Devon as much killed me too. I don’t know what Harry told his son, nor did I really want to know, but I missed him as much as I missed Harry, and the little glimpses I saw of him after school or picking Maddie up from a play date was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t think I could care for someone so much, could love a child that wasn’t mine like he was, but most of the time I found myself worrying about Devon, hoping he was safe and happy.

The next time I saw Harry outside of pick up and drop off was purely coincidence.

Three months had gone by since I walked away from his doorstep, since he told me we should slow down so as not to give Devon the wrong idea about who I was to him.

I’d seen glimpses of Harry, of course, but I made sure to keep my head down and look the other way when I felt his gaze burning my skin. There were unsaid words in those glances, words I didn’t even want to entertain. So I didn’t.

Sadie seemed to be the only person who seemed to think my cool demeanor was bullshit. She never believed me when I told her I was fine, or that I thought my breakup with Harry was for the best, a good idea, even. But I never left much room for debate, so she kept her thoughts to herself for the most part.

Now she was insisting I go out, to not let my failed attempt at a relationship with Harry ruin my outlook on love or casual dating. She urged me to, “get back out there,” and to, “have some no-strings fun.” I was pretty sure she was testing my limits as much as actually urging me to see someone other than Harry, but I never called her out on it.

I had been able to put nights out off for the first two months, but now that it was post-Christmas and Maddie was spending the weekend with her grandparents, I didn’t have much of a choice.

After running into an old law school classmate who invited me to some fancy party, Sadie insisted that I go, for no other reason than to get dressed up for once. Since I wouldn’t have to pick Maddie up until the following afternoon, I virtually had no obligations for the weekend.

So I was going, even though I didn’t really want to. Sadie was at the house with me to get ready, and to make sure I actually went to the party tonight.

“I don’t think I have anything fancy enough for a party like this.”

My friend told me it was, “just a New Year’s get together,” but I knew it was much more than that. I knew the kind of friends he had as a corporate lawyer, and the location of said get together alone was enough proof that whatever I had in my closet was not sufficient.

“What’s this then?” Sadie asked. She’d been scavenging my closet for something to wear, not believing me when I told her that all I had were work clothes and jeans.

I looked from the small mirror where I’d been doing my makeup to where Sadie was standing by my closet, a brown mini dress on a hanger dangling from her hand. My head immediately shook as I took in the length and structured bust, thinking it was much too revealing for me. I bought it years ago, thinking I would have more nights out as a young mother. Reality hit soon after, and the dress had stayed in the closet ever since. I was pretty sure the tag was still on it.

“Sadie, no. It probably doesn’t even fit—”

“Nonsense, go try it on. We’re running out of time,” she insisted.

Sadie thrust the dress in my direction, and all the micro glitters caught in the yellow light of my bedroom. I took it from her hands, knowing it would be easier to show her it didn’t look good rather than argue with her about it. Shedding my robe, I stepped into the dress, the silk slip on the inside of the dress cool against my skin.

To my surprise, the dress fit. It was definitely short, but that was more the style than me outgrowing it. It didn’t even snag on my hips uncomfortably the way I thought it would. The only thing that made me hesitate was the way it accentuated my chest, which had never really changed back to its original size after having Maddie.

Looking down at where I was almost spilling out of the bust of the dress, I said, “I don’t know, Sadie. I think this is a fancier event. I look—”

“You look hot,” she said her eyes wide as she took me in. “Y/n, this—this is it, babe.”

“Really? You don’t think it’ll give Nathan the wrong idea?”

“And what would that be?”

I frowned. “That it’s a date.”

Rolling her eyes, Sadie came over and swiped a bottle of perfume off my dresser. When she held it out to me, I lifted my chin, then tilted it down so she could spray my neck and head. Taking my little clutch off the bed, she stuck the small bottle in it.

“Y/n. A former classmate—a successful lawyer, I might add—asked you to his company’s fancy New Year’s Eve party. If that doesn’t scream date, I don’t know what does.”

She was right, I knew she was. But no matter how many times I told myself and everyone around me that I was over Harry, the mere idea of going out with someone else made my stomach churn.

“Unless you don’t want it to be and are maybe wishing you were spending the holiday with someone else?” Sadie asked gently. When all I did was look down at the floor, she added, “It’s okay to miss him, Y/n. It’s okay to admit—”

“I’m fine,” I said, hoping my friend thought the conviction in my eyes was genuine. “Nathan’s not going to know what to do with himself when he sees me. Right?”

I could tell Sadie didn’t quite believe me when I said I was fine, but we'd known each other long enough to know when and when not to push. Smiling she said, “Absolutely.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The party was at a botanical garden a few miles outside of downtown, but that didn't make it any less fancy or luxurious. I almost didn’t want to hand my coat over to the coat check as I watched people wearing designer suits and dresses strut through the beautifully decorated archway, but there was a line behind me, so I shrugged it off and headed inside.

Elegant string music was playing in the garden. There were two open bars on either side of the space, dance floor taking up the middle, and dinner tables carefully placed around it. Everything was lit warmly by light bulbs hanging from above, with twinkly lights wrapped around the vines and leaves and lanterns lighting pathways throughout the garden.

Flowers were everywhere. Countless types in varying size and color decorating tables and hanging from trees and sitting in potted plants. I felt like I stepped into an alternate universe, my eyes wide as I took it all in.

“There you are!”

I startled a little. In my intense inspection of the venue, I hardly paid attention to my surroundings. Nathan was in front of me, and while I’d run into him a week ago, it was still odd to see him standing there in a suit that was tailored to perfection—a classic black suit, but with a sweater in lieu of a vest, the cuffs peaking out beneath his suit jacket.

I’d done most of my law schooling online, but the times I did have to be in person, Nathan was the person I sat with. He was kind and smart and never judged me for being a mother at my age. He helped me take notes and later became my study buddy for tests and quizzes. After a while, he’d asked me out, but I was nowhere near prepared to fit dating into my life. Maddie was just a baby and I was working to pay bills. It was one of those wrong place wrong time kind of things, and while Nathan took it well, we lost touch soon after.

Seeing him now was like going back in time. He hadn’t changed much—his dark blonde hair was still the same, except that it was a little shorter, he still sported a tiny bit of stubble around his cheeks, and his eyes were still a warm brown, like hot chocolate. His smile was genuine as he leaned in to kiss my cheek in a friendly manner, not once looking me up and down in a way that made me cringe.

“Hi,” I said, a smile of my own creeping up my face, like I couldn’t help but reciprocate.

“You look beautiful,” he breathed, then blushed, like he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Sorry, was that too forward?”

“Not at all,” I said, hiding a smile behind my hand. “I honestly feel a little under dressed.”

“You’re perfect,” he said. “Sorry, I did it again. Sorry.”

He was so nervous it was cute. Everything about him was cute. Nathan’s cheeks were flushed, but his eyes were still crinkled with a smile. I hadn’t wanted to come out tonight, but as he offered his arm to me, I was glad that I did this for myself.

“Y/n?”

And then the giddiness popped like a bubble.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“So...how do you two know each other?”

Nathan, bless his heart, was either oblivious of the awkward tension at the table or wholly ignored it, trying to fill the silence with easy questions, but his most recent one was anything but.

“Our kids go to school together.”

“We dated for four months.”

If Harry’s answer affected Nathan in any way, he didn’t show it (one of the perks of being a lawyer, I supposed). But at the mention of kids, his eyes lit up.

“How is Maddie, by the way? I haven't seen her since she was just a baby!”

The same smile that always showed up at the mention of my daughter made its way onto my face. “Great! She had a Christmas recital last week, and it was so cute. Look.”

I immediately pulled my phone out of my clutch and showed him pictures and videos of Maddie dancing with the rest of her team. Nathan watched with genuine curiosity, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watched my video of her five second solo.

“Wow, I mean...you’ve clearly got a prima ballerina in the making here,” he said.

“I know, right? And, you know, I would never make her do something she doesn’t want to do. I even tried to sign her up for soccer last week, but she just wants to dance,” I said, leaning toward him subconsciously.

My eyes widened in surprise. “Yeah. You remembered?”

“Well, she clearly gets it from her mother. You used to dance, didn’t you?”

“Of course. You—”

“So, how do you two know each other?”

Harry’s voice cut through our conversation like a lance. When I looked over, he was holding his glass with a white-knuckle grip, his green eyes hard as they bored into mine.

Not only did I not expect to see Harry tonight, but I wasn’t expecting such a reaction from him, either. I thought things were fine. I missed him a lot, but apparently we both had good poker faces whenever we briefly met for play dates.

I was used to seeing him in slacks and a dress shirt for work, but what he was wearing tonight went beyond work attire. His suit was plaid, with a bow tie of the same pattern to match. His slacks were flared at the bottom, and the vest beneath his suit jacket dipped into a low U-shape to reveal a light blue dress shirt beneath. He looked devastatingly handsome, and when I’d made eye contact with him thirty minutes ago, my breath hitched in my throat.

Looking at him so intensely now brought back the same effect, to the point where Nathan had to nudge my arm. Harry smirked at that, at the idea of rendering me speechless, but I did my best to recover.

“Um...Nathan and I had a couple of classes together in law school. He—He does corporate law, though.”

For the company Harry worked at, apparently. It was the only way to explain why he was here.

Nathan began speaking, but I had a hard time focusing. My eyes fell on the slope of Harry’s neck as he turned slightly to face Nathan, though I knew he could tell I was staring. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t, I’d only seen glimpses of him the past few months, and now I was taking him in properly. He hadn't shaved in a while, stubble darkening the lower part of his face. I absolutely loved his facial hair, had made it clear to him in the moments we were alone together in his bed.

And his suit fit perfectly too. I'd come to learn that Harry had a taste for expensive, well-made clothes, and this suit was the pinnacle of his interest. The sleeves of his suit jacket hugged his shoulders, accentuating the muscles in his arms. I could only imagine what his legs looked like while he was sitting, the muscles in his thighs straining against the fabric. My toes curled as my thoughts wandered about Harry, even when my date was right next to me. It had to be that he was dressed up, it had to be, otherwise, I would’ve been able to exert a little self-control—”

Something brushed against my leg at the table.

At first I thought one of the other women sitting here was crossing their legs and I got caught up in it, but then it happened again, and that was certainly not a heel.

My eyes widened as my neck flushed hot. Harry wasn’t looking at me at all, but he tested his face in his hand as he listened to Nathan, almost like he was hiding a smile. Then a dimple flashed as the brush went higher, from my ankle to my calf, and brushing against my knee until I quickly clasped my legs together to keep his foot in place.

Only my actions jolted the table, and now everyone sitting around it was staring at me.

“You okay?” Nathan asked, his brow wrinkled with concern.

“Y—Yes. Sorry, I—I just wanted to get up and grab a drink, and I—my knee hit the table. I’m sorry, excuse me.”

Nathan offered to get a drink for me, but I declined. I needed to put some distance between myself and the table, between myself and the menace sitting across from me.

As I walked away, I called Sadie, praying she picked up. Thankfully, she did.

“He’s here!” I hissed.

“Who?” she asked, though it was hard to hear her on the other side of the call.

“Who do you think?” I replied.

“Harry? Oh shit!”

“Yes, and he’s playing fucking footsie with me under the table while my date is right next to—”

“So you are on a date.”

It was so similar to Sadie’s reply, I almost didn’t take note of it, but I could feel him behind me, the smell of his cologne invading my senses and not helping my frenzied state at all.

“Y/n? You there?”

“I have to go,” I said, before hanging up and facing Harry. With an attitude I didn’t necessarily feel, I said, “Am I not allowed to go on dates?”

Harry shrugged like he didn’t care, and I briefly wondered how much of it was an act, if he had to put up a cool in front of his friends and family too. “You are, I just think it’s rude to ogle someone who’s not your date.”

Frowning, I said, “I was not ogling.”

His brows raised as if to say, really? “Don’t lie, Y/n. It’s unbecoming.”

Before I could respond, it was my turn at the bar. “Two shots of tequila, please.”

Harry’s brows raised further, but didn’t say anything. When the bartender slid two full shots of tequila towards me, Harry reached for one, but I smacked his hand away, drinking both in quick succession before ordering a margarita with a double shot.

“You took those like a champ,” he said before ordering something himself. Before I could get my credit card out of my clutch, Harry was sliding his own across the table and motioning to the bartender that he was covering my tab.

Instead of complaining, I said, “In that case, one more shot please. Don Julio blanco.”

Harry rolled his eyes but didn’t object, flashing two fingers to let the bartender know he wanted one as well. “Cheers,” he mumbled, clinking my glass against his.

When we were done and both had our drinks, we walked back toward our table. Before we sat down, though, I stopped him. We were just out of earshot of our table, so I spoke freely.

“You broke up with me,” I said. Harry looked like he wanted to say something, but I held up a hand, my arm already feeling a little heavy from the tequila. “You broke up with me, and I respected your reasoning. Please respect me and my date.”

“Come on, Y/n, really? You’re telling me that you’d rather go home with that guy than—”

“I never said I was going home with anyone. I said he was my date,” I said, stepping away from him.

Harry clearly saw his mistake. “I know, but come on, Y/n—”

“But nothing," I said, trying my best to ignore the hitch in my voice. "And it’s none of your business either way, Harry. Just leave us be,” I said. I left him standing there, mumbling under my breath, “In love with him my ass. More like in irritation with him.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The rest of the night, I did my best to avoid Harry. My heart still stung at being rejected before I even had the chance of truly opening up to someone in a way I never had before. No amount of flirting or lusting glances would change that.

So I drank. I drank and I laughed and I pretended that I wasn't fully aware of Harry's eyes on me the whole time.

Whether it was because he sensed the tension between Harry and me, or he just understood the general feeling of not wanting to be around an ex, Nathan happily avoided Harry with me. We talked and danced, catching up on the last few years. I asked him about his job and I told him about mine and all about Maddie. It was easy to forget about everything else happening around me when I got to brag about my daughter, and having Madison at the forefront of my mind kept my head clear.

Nathan was ever the gentleman, almost exactly like I remembered him from school. He was sweet and cute and kind, but anytime I caught him glancing down at my lips, I found an excuse to slip away to the bathroom for another drink. I just...wasn't attracted to him that way, though part of me wished I was. Nathan was safe. He had a steady job, he didn't have a kid enrolled in the same school as mine, he should've been the one I was attracted to, the one I wanted to kiss at midnight.

But he just wasn't.

"I think I should probably head home," I told him. It was half an hour before midnight, and I didn't want the awkwardness of rejecting any advances at the countdown tonight. "I have to be up early to pick up Maddie."

A lie, but Nathan bought it thankfully.

"Of course, I totally understand," he said, and I felt a little bad for lying to him. "Can I call you an Uber?"

"Oh no. I got it. It was great seeing you, Nathan."

Nathan smiled and leaned in to give me a hug. "I hope things work out with him," he said softly.

My whole body froze. I immediately felt bad. Clearly, he could tell that my mind was in two places tonight. "I—"

"It's fine, Y/n. I'm just glad we got to catch up. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

I left shortly after that in a daze. I didn't even know if I wanted things to work out with Harry, but Nathan clearly saw something I didn't. Even so, I was much too inebriated to think that deeply. In all honesty, I was surprised I was still walking around in my heels.

Away from the party, all the alcohol I'd consumed tonight seemed to catch up with me. I fumbled with my phone, only to drop it in the grass outside the garden where the party still continued. Muttering under my breath, I started to crouch down to look for it when a hand gently grabbed my arm.

"I got it."

I watched with bleary eyes as Harry turned the flashlight on his phone on to find mine. I was too cold and too tipsy to protest, so I let him, thanking him quietly when he handed it over.

"Need a ride?"

Harry didn't ask where Nathan was, or why I was leaving the party by myself, which I was thankful for. The sensible thing to do would've been to say no, to tell him I was fine on my own, but I just nodded quietly and let him lead me to his car.

It was painfully silent. Even drunk, I could feel it. Harry opened the door for me without a word, and kept up the silent treatment as he peeled away from the party. The quiet skittered over my skin in a way that had me shifting in the expensive leather seats of Harry's car. I couldn't handle it, couldn't suffer through the silence all the way back to my house.

"How...How's Devon?"

Perhaps it wasn't my place to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of in the moment. And I wanted to know how he'd been doing since his episode at the school. He seemed fine the few brief moments I saw him, but I tried to keep my distance out of respect for Harry's wishes.

"Okay for the most part. His grandparents want custody now, and they...they could actually pull it off."

"I'm so sorry, Harry." Hesitantly, I rested my hand over his, an offering of friendly comfort.

I was surprised Harry was so forthcoming about his situation at home, but I also knew he didn't have many people he talked to about all of this. My heart broke for him and Devon. I knew how hard Harry was working to win this custody battle, to give his son the life he deserved. Nothing about Harry and Devon's situation was fair, which made me partly understand why he asked to slow things down between us. I knew he had a lot going on in his life, I just wished I hadn't grown so attached.

"I understand why you did it, Harry. I just..."

"Me too," he said, voice clipped, like he was trying to hold all of his emotions in. Clearing his throat and putting the hand beneath mine on the steering wheel, he said, "And—And I'm sorry for ending things so abruptly. I should have—"

"Just what?" he asked.

My voice trailed off. I wasn't ready to have this conversation. I didn't know if I ever wanted to have it. Because not admitting just how deep my feelings went for him saved me a lot of embarrassment, saved me from the realization that perhaps I was the only one who felt that way. I had been prepared to open up to Harry that day three months ago, but even in my drunken state I wouldn't say the words aloud.

I shook my head, opting to look out the car window instead of answering him. I shouldn't have said anything at all.

"He misses you," Harry said quietly.

"I miss him too," I said, blinking rapidly.

My eyelids grew heavy then, about as heavy as my heart felt.

Before, the cat-and-mouse game Harry and I played was frustrating and annoying and enticing all at once. He drove me crazy, but he excited me too. There were hints of it tonight at the party, but I couldn't bring myself to play along. Not when I knew there would be no end I would be satisfied with. There were still feelings and words left unsaid, but the things Harry was dealing with were bigger than my feelings, and while that was a tough pill to swallow, I had to find a way to do it. For Devon's sake.

I rested my head against the window, the glass cool against my forehead. The road ahead was smooth enough that I was being lulled to sleep, and I didn't try to fight it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry, who looked so handsome in his suit. I wondered if he knew he didn't have to carry the weight of everything he was dealing with on his own. I hoped he had someone to talk to. I hoped he would be alright.

"I just thought I was in love with you."

The words were slurred, practically jumbled together as the hum of the car's engine lulled me to sleep.

[saintsir4n]

7. FALLING

thank you for the support

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF MENTAL HEALTH

"DON'T tell me you're fallin' in love, it's been what, a couple of weeks?"

"I am, he gets me you know," Carson gushed, speaking quietly to Keelie. "Sounds like bullshit I know, but word to God, I'm serious."

Fortunately, the nail salon wasn't busy so only five other people were being tended to.

Keelie huffed out a laugh, "The dick that good?"

"It's the best," Brian was probably the best she ever had. It was only two days since their date and they couldn't stop, he caught her whenever and wherever.

All the time she spent with him, she noticed a lot. He was quite jumpy, and anxious, especially when it came to his phone. Very cagy about his past and she knew to respect that even though it drove her to overthink.

"White boy got it like that?" Keelie was shocked, she'd never seen her friend act so enamoured about a guy.

In the past, Carson was very naive, and way too trusting, so she hoped that history wasn't repeating itself.

Carson giggled, "He really does. Girl, he talks me through it."

Keelie instantly choked on air, "He what?"

"You heard me."

"He's vocal?" Keelie lowered her tone, making sure the customers couldn't hear much to their disappointment. Carson nodded in response. "Damn."

"Voice husky and everythin', he puts it down, lifts me up, keeps me hooked even if he's just starin', he knows he's got some sort of power over me. Drive's me crazy, I swear.”

“He’s packin’ right? He has to be with that shit eatin’ grin.”

“Respect me, I wouldn’t settle for no little dick,” Carson’s response had them both snickering.

The friends abruptly looked up when the shop bell rang and Brian walked in, eyes immediately landing on Carson.

"Ladies," he nodded at a few of them as he walked by, greeted Keelie before leaning over the counter and pressing a few kisses to Carson's lips making the customers awww in the background. Keelie moved away to help them. "You good baby?" she nodded, noting the irritation in his eyes, but before she could say anything he asked, "You get your nails done?" she nodded again, showing them off to him. He pulled out a 50-dollar bill and put it next to her.

She looked shocked, "You don't have to."

"I want to," Brian insisted, still not smiling.

He's annoyed, she realised.

"You ready to go, your shift is done right?" Brian questioned.

"It's done," she replied, "I'll go get my stuff."

He nodded, watching her go into the back, then sighing when he heard Keelie's voice.

"I'm watchin' you," she warned, walking passed.

He snapped his head, looking in her direction as she picked up a new electric file, "I didn't do nothin'."

"Tell that to my third eye," Keelie took note of his annoyance, wondering why he was so worked up.

Brain didn't respond.

Carson came back, with her bag in hand and immediately saw how riled he was.

"Yo, Keke what did you say to him?" she asked, coming up to Brian who put his arm around her.

"Nothin', I only said hi. Didn't I Eminem?" Keelie taunted, sitting down in front of a regular.

"Yeah, Lil' Kim's right," Brian jabbed, making the whole store laugh.

Even Carson smiled, sticking her tongue out at Keelie who flipped him off.

Brian whispered something as they walked out and onto the street, "Come on, I gotta show you somethin' before we meet the team."

"What is it?" she wondered.

His ringtone disrupted his response. He pulled out his phone, keeping it close to his chest and ignored the ring.

She squinted at him, "Brian?"

His phone started to ring again, just as they reached his truck.

"Is that your mom or somethin'?" she pressed.

"What? No, it's just..." he trailed off, annoyed by the constant ringing and switched off his phone, but that only irritated Carson more.

She shrugged off his arm, "Do you have some secret life you're not tellin' me about Brian?" she was frustrated and he hated that he was making her feel that way. "Do you have a wife, kids, some white picket fence?"

He tried taking her hand but she didn't let him, "Baby, calm down, it's nothin'."

"Then why do you look tense?"

"Because you questionin' me alright? Nothing's wrong, I'm good, you good?" he didn't mean to snap at her. He'd never done it before.

Carson took a step back, looking him up and down. Why's he acting like this? her annoyed gaze settled on something she hadn't noticed before.

"Yo, what happened to your hand?"

It was red and slightly blotchy.

Brain flexed his fist and shook his head, "It's nothin'."

"Was it Vince, did you get in the ring with him again or somethin'?" she was met with silence, "Just answer the question."

"I just did," he breathed out. "Trust me, I'm tense 'cause everythin' is on top of me at the moment. I have bad days and good days like everyone else"

She had to ask, "And your phone?"

"It's Harry," he rushed out, "I left my shift early to come and see you, to spend to with you."

"Okay," she didn't have anything else to say.

He groaned, "Don't be like that, lemme show you want I got you."

Carson just nodded, watching him unlock the truck and pull open the passenger seat, retrieving the present he got for her.

She gasped when she saw the jewel-encrusted sunshine ornament. She remembered telling him about it on their date but she didn't think he was listening.

"Y-you... how?"

"I kept an eye out," he carefully placed it in her hands. "Just wanted to make you happy."

It cost nothing, but it meant everything.

She clutched it tightly, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

"Thank you, baby."

And it was like everything was forgotten.

So Brian smiled and embraced her tightly, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Let's get outta here."

__

The next day Carson squealed when she saw her car, more importantly, the engine that looked like it cost 15k. Jesse even claimed to have tweaked a few things, things she didn't notice before. She couldn't believe it. Her flashy rims, the turbine, and the compressor were fixed and the stereo was finally working again too.

"Like it?" Jesse asked with a proud smirk.

"Like it? you did this before street wars and whilst you were fixing the Supra?" she gawked, eyes blinking rapidly at the shiny parts.

He sheepishly shrugged, "Had to do it for you. The rims were the easiest to do. The engine took some time but it was nothin'. Speakers are all set. Check them out, you'll love it, drivin' down sunset blarin' them to the car Gods."

She laid a fat kiss on his cheek and hugged him.

"I love you, you know that? The biggest, bestest and brightest," she listed, beaming at the car.

"I love you too, now lemme get back to the Supra. Go paint your Charger, I know the designs will be sick."

Jesse left her to her own devices. Carson put down the hood, then reached into her pocket to add the last addition.

She slid into the front seat, slid off the plastic and placed the sunshine ornament on the dashboard, it stuck very easily.

"I hope you love it, Dad," she whispered, wishing he was here.

After a moment she jumped out, blew a kiss at the car and walked around the garage, finding the paint she was going to use for the designs, then pulled out her sketchbook and some overalls to protect her fit. She got lost in her own world when she started, everything was going to plan.

She felt so blessed.

So what could go wrong?

She heard some of the guys talking from the distance but she didn't pay much attention.

She barely flinched when she felt someone kneel behind her and wrap an arm around her shoulder pausing her painting.

"Hey blondie," she greeted him as he kissed her cheek.

"Looking good," Brian nodded to the design. Every time he saw her work, whether it was in her sketchbook or some other street racer's car, it made him wonder why she never did this professionally, just like Jesse. Art school or engineering.

She leaned into his hold, "Thank you."

They talked for a while, she asked if his hand was okay, but was told that it was nothing to worry about. He kept saying she would win any race she would enter and couldn't wait to see it happen, all while taking some pictures of them.

He had pictures of the pair of them all over his phone.

Pulling her from the ground, he cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers. The feeling coursing through their veins wasn't foreign anymore. They embraced it like a warm hug. It was light yet intense.

When she went to move away he squeezed her sides.

Carson's laughter caught Dom's attention and he stood by the entrance, but neither of them saw him yet.

"Check it," Brian tried taking the paintbrush from her but she ended up getting some of the excess paint on his shirt.

"That's what you get," she mused.

"Oh, that's what I get?" He wiped the rest of the paint on her overalls, earning a fierce glare.

Finally seeing a displeased Dom standing off to the side, Brian shifted back slightly.

"Need a cigarette," he murmured.

Carson's brows furrowed, "Didn't you say you quit?" damn he must be stressed.

"I have to make a parts run 'round Simi Valley for Harry," Brian dismissed her question, looking directly at Dom.

"Drive safe," The Torretto man said with indifference.

"Bye, Sonny," Brian breezed passed Dom, after kissing her goodbye.

Carson stood there awkwardly, Dom continued to stare at her, and she didn't understand why.

"I had a guy on the phone, said you hadn't finished his design yet," he expressed, breaking the silence.

"I'm on it."

"Are you, 'cause you seem distracted?" There was a lot of judgment in his tone.

She scoffed, "Get off my back. If I say I'll finish the design I'll finish the design," she put down the paintbrush and frowned, "Brian's not a distraction. I thought you liked him."

"Me likin' him got nothin' to do with anythin'. Just focus," he always said the same thing to both her and Mia. His sister for school and Carson for her occupation. He knew that his godsister was falling in love with the guy, they all did, it so was obvious. "You wanna win big at race wars right? Make sure you keep your head straight."

She huffed, "First Vince, then Brian, now you, must be somethin' in the water right? Why are you all in my grill? Just mind your business."

"You're my business. Always have been, always will!" he yelled, causing her to walk out of the garage in a huff, "And don't you forget that!"

__

Later that day, Carson stood proud, grinning at the finished product of her car, trying to forget all the stress and worries she felt. She was happy. I'm happy, she kept telling herself. The team congratulated her for creating such a beauty before leaving to go and see Dom and Brian drive off in the completed Supra.

She tried not to overthink. Everything was going to plan, right? But the feeling in her stomach was growing.

Carson wanted to ignore it but her dad always told her to listen to her gut.

The sun was fading and she knew it was time to get back to her shared apartment. Letty had dipped, Mia was studying, Vince and Leon were inside whilst Jesse with stuck in his head working on the computer.

In the corner of her eye, Carson caught the orange Supra pulling up the garage.

Brian and Dom were talking intently about something, she couldn't get a good read on either of them, with their shades being on but she was too tired to even try.

"Yo Summer, where's everyone?" Dom asked, noticing her furrowed brows. The garage was scarce and Jesse didn't look up at the sound of his voice.

Brian smiled as he walked over to her since she didn't look too happy and he instantly felt a sense of dread.

"Inside," was all she had to say, "I'm bouncin'," she went to move but Brian caught her keyless hand, "Yeah?" Dom left the pair alone and eventually, Jesse joined him, finally snapping out of his trance and wanting to badger him about the sweet ride. "I gotta go, Brian."

"Why don't I come with you?" He suggested, with a smirk playin' at his lips.

"Won't your Sylvanian family be blowin' up your cell?" He laughed but she was serious as hell. "I've got work in the mornin' you know?"

"I won't keep you up and my phone will stay on silent. I promise," he came closer, pulling off his shades and staring into her eyes. The sun's falling rays struck her iris' had it stirred something inside of him. "I just wanna hold you, Sonny," he whispered as she scrunched her nose, making him cup her chin and peck her lips a few times. "We'll get some beauty sleep together. Okay?"

His words were making her trip and fall over any gut feeling.

So she agreed, "Okay. But we're just gonna sleep," she warned him as he pulled open the driver seat, letting her get in before jogging over to the passenger side. He gently shut the door, eyes lighting up at the ornament on the dashboard. "Only sleepin'."

Brian nodded, watching her start the engine, "A good night's rest and my beautiful girl to hold onto, not a bad way to live," he said softly, earning the cheesiest smile from her, "That's all I want."

"And that's what you've got."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

a/n:

https://pin.it/1s5Uvmk (how i imagine her car to look, obviously with huge bratz doll silhouettes across the sides) it's funny because her street name at this point is "barbie" but that won't stop her from doing what she wants. and what's cute is brian's street name is "bullit" so we've got bullit and barbie.

https://pin.it/1c7m5sX (how i imagine the sunshine ornament to be but without the moon). in the behind the scenes videos of this film, the director wanted no rearview mirrors in the car, because he wanted it to be as accurate to the street racing culture of the time, so carson doesn't have one. so just imagine the gift sticking to the dashboard. 

some more angst in this chapter between brian and carson. the way he caught an attitude with our girl was disrespectful but of course, all it took was a gift to calm her down. it's sad i know but it's all part of the build-up. carson loves love and even though she knows something is up she'll tell herself to be delusional for a little longer and let him "hold her".

i've been getting a few messages about how often i update but it states multiple times that i publish every sunday (even check the first few chapters pls!)

also with the mature scenes that i write, pls prevent yourself from saying "robbed" or "call 911". what i write should be enough and it gets annoying when i see things like that. as stated in my bio, don't comment on any of my stories if you're a minor!

-

[pipsqueakparker]

throwing out some of my hc re: millie & blitzø - i really hope we get more of their backstory soon but until then here’s what my heart says:

idk where this originated from actually, but my nibling presented this to me and i’ve adopted it into my M&B belief system: millie & blitz first met when someone put a hit on her & blitz couldn’t do it, she was too fuckin good & beat him & he was impressed. that was when he decided to shift his business to hits in the living world, and ofc hired millie

blitzø is closest with millie bc her flavor of love & affection is aggressive & feels familiar (add that to the fact that she probably could have killed him & didn’t if we’re taking bullet one into account, Bonding)

actually millie is just really good at reading people and can tailor herself to fit the situation, she knows blitz won’t respond to anything too soft or vulnerable-sounding so she wraps all of her affection & care in nails so he’ll swallow it down

like, if we’re comparing I.M.P on an emotional availability scale, millie is the middle ground between moxxie & blitz

PME (pre-moxxie era), millie was the first person blitz would call if he was “bored”, aka in need of support but unable to admit/recognize that - they spent many a night getting shit faced in his apartment & watching movies while they bitched about their latest terrible dates or whatever bullshit they’d encountered throughout their days

literally they were ride or die besties pre-moxx & the only reason any of that may have changed was bc blitz saw millie genuinely happy & in love & distanced himself just enough to still be there and be friends, but also not get as hurt when she inevitably left him

on a lighter note, blitz was absolutely part of the m&m’s wedding party (i think he was moxxie’s best man, but millie almost argued to have him as a bridesmaid)

millie was the babysitter blitz references when he met moxxie - she & loona just hung out while blitz was off doing some dumb shit, they didnt even know what was going on until he pulled back up w this lil twink by his side the next day

i 100% believe he introduced m&m to each other, and he feels a weird mixture of pride in helping two people he cares about find love but also jealousy bc uhm excuse me you were my friends first what the fuck

the jealousy only wins out late at night when he’s already too tired and he can’t stop the intrusive thoughts and they just tumble down into feeling alone and like people are moving on without him - he went on a bender right after their wedding but ofc led everyone to believe it was unrelated (ok the note got dark again soz)

millie & blitz have a weekly coffee date where she manages to get him to actually talk about some of the shit on his mind, she’s the one that convinced him to see a therapist to begin with. millie fucking loves him and just wants him to be happy.

millie’s the only one that knows about a lot of stuff bc she just knows to follow up if blitz makes any weird comments

i just think millie knows how to pull info out of blitz even when he doesn’t wanna talk, she recognizes the walls and has figured out how to dig her way under them - but even she knows she’s only getting a small percentage of whatever is really going on with him

i hope the next episode will give us more on that, bc i feel like maybe blitz has been letting a rift open between them, especially since Ozzie’s, and maybe their relationship can be addressed/expanded on cause i wanna know more i love them sm

[wildwinterlunas]

Reply to @lovingoverwatchguys

Loved your post!! Thank you for tagging me in it, you made so many good points! I agree with you on a lot of what you said and there were a couple things that stuck with me!

A realization that I have come to that has always been bouncing around my head is that Cassidy and Jack or on the same path but going in different directions. The way Jack is acting right now is very similar to how Cassidy has been implied to have acted when he first joined Blackwatch, angry, distrusting of other, violent, all the while still having that slim sliver of hope. Meanwhile Cassidy has been implied to be one of the next leaders of Overwatch, doing what Jack did and personally offering a place in Overwatch to those he think could help.

There is one thing I do want to point out and that is I don't think Cassidy is mad at Jack for not telling people he was alive, if that was the case he would be mad at Ana too, which he is but it isn't because she didn't tell people she was alive it's because of her past treatment of Pharah. I believe the reason Cassidy is mad at Jack is that Jack didn't listen to Cassidy when he warned Jack that something was happening with Gabe. Something that always stuck out to me was the fact it was Cassidy recounting what happened in Rialto, not Gabe.

We see what he recounts in the trailer for Retribution and even then Gabriel is dodging Jack's questions, asking if he's sure he wants to here the story, talking about plausible deniability, the fact that in the actual event it's Cassidy narrating and not Gabriel implies to me that Cassidy gave the more detailed account. Not only that but at the end of the trailer Jack asks, "What about you, anything to add?"

To which Cassidy responds, "Where do you want me to start?"

In contrast to Gabriel, Cassidy doesn't waltz around the issue, he gets straight to the point and as we see in Retribution, Cassidy gave a recount of everything. So it reasonable to believe that after this moment Cassidy would have been making sure Jack knew what was happening with Gabriel. Especially since after and during Retribution you can clearly tell that Cassidy lost a lot of trust in Gabriel.

So how did Gabriel get as bad as he did even with Cassidy telling Jack what was going on after the events of Retribution? That's simple, Jack has been shown, even now, to see the best in Gabe.

I like your idea of Cassidy being the one to get Jack to talk about Gabriel and helping Jack move on, because something I think I have talked about before is that Cassidy has gone through this type of situation before back in Deadlock. Cassidy was betrayed by Julian and was put into a situation where it was very likely he could have died if it wasn't for Ashe, Frankie and B.O.B.

Which leads me into, Cassidy has shown to be more willing to kill Reaper than Jack has. Cassidy saw the way Gabriel fell, he's also gone through this kind of betrayal before, he's also the blueprint when it comes to redemption being the first character in lore to go through and complete that kind of arc. He knows you can't force someone to redeem themselves, they need to choose that path, and yes he does view the old Gabriel fondly but again, he's been though this before.

I can honestly see Cassidy and Jack talking about Gabriel and bonding over they're grief but I also see that during one of those conversations Cassidy comes to the conclusion that he is the only one that can kill Reaper if it gets to that point.

Because yes, he still has a connection to Gabriel but he has his own team to worry about now. I think Cassidy is very much a "Forgive but don't Forget", he knows that holding onto anger does more harm then good, he saw what happened to Gabriel, what happened to Genji, so he's not going to make that mistake, but he's also not enough of an idiot to trust someone blindly after they've pulled some bullshit.

Honestly I think the future of Cassidy and Jacks relationship is going to be incredibly interesting, if not tragic. Combine that with the stuff that you've talked about with Tracer and I can certainly say I am not prepared for the Story Missions, I am most certainly going to cry.

Wow, this is way longer than I expected it to be, I hope it made sense!!

[bitch-butter]

not to be weird or anything but "three hour long montage of men talking about Important Things in rooms" is so you. Like, I was nodding along because it made so much sense haha

What's your fav movies you had seen so far this year, and why?

w o o f that's hard because i feel like this year has been so slow to start movie-wise! i'm really happy it's summer now, because this is typically when all the movies i'm really excited for start opening, but things won't get really crazy until fall so a lot of the movies i've actively sought out this year have been horror lol so for my own piece of mind i'll back it up to Exactly a year to highlight some movies that i really, really responded to so it doesn't seem like i Just consume darkness lol

being really annoying about movies under the cut

oppenheimer (2023) - see prev Showing Ass post

reality (2023) - a Very scary movie that if you live in america you should watch, because not only is it told impeccably but it's actually shocking how few people actually remember Reality Winner given the fact that this story is only a few years old. sydney sweeney is incredible in this.

skinamarink (2022) - a Divisive horror movie that truly did get so much shit but the way it scared the hell out of me remembering being a kid left alone in a house with just a TV cannot be described.

renfield (2023) - me and my gf dressed as vampires to go to this movie, it was a laugh riot from beginning to end and nic cage deserves 77 awards, best dracula since gary oldman.

nope (2022) - 100% more scared of monkeys than i am of aliens, jordan peele call me to talk to me about our national fixation on spectacle and also Westerns.

tár (2022) - what a f u c k i n g movie this was, i saw it with my best friend on a visit to Omaha and we screamed the entire time. i love a Complicated film that wants to explore the intersections of bad people making good art, the gender studies major that still lives within me was losing it watching this movie.

pamela, a love story (2023) - this is your typical Netflix documentary, meaning there isn't a whole lot of New information that they give, but any opportunity given to us to reexamine a woman that was unfairly maligned i think is a very, very good opportunity. and pamela is a great writer, and seems like a very lovely (again, complicated) person, so i enjoyed getting to see her overcome some bullshit.

women talking (2022) - i really think i cried the entire movie when i first saw it, and i watched it again recently and did the same thing so i think it holds up. really excellent performances, even if its a very talky movie it also has a really potent atmosphere and it So effectively builds horror into hope by the end.

AND nothing compares (2022) - this is timely, because we lost shuhada sadaqat aka sinéad o'connor yesterday, and i was just recently thinking about this documentary and how much i loved it and how i should rewatch it. it's so sensitive to her, and takes her thoughts and feelings Seriously, and that made me very emotional to see as someone who remembers her being made into a fucking joke my entire childhood. it isn't a Perfect doc, but i value it very much, especially now.

really really pumped for: Dune Part II, The Last Voyage of the Demeter, Killers of the Flower Moon (funny story: this past weekend my best friend ran into lily gladstone at the grocery store and apparently she was So nice lol) and Barbie (seeing it this weekend for my birthday, very , very, very excited).

thank you for asking ~ 🖤

[squishyfruitloop]

Buckle up, bitches. Because I'm about to tell you a story.

I've known I was queer since high school, but due to some DEEPLY INGRAINED homophobic opinions (🖕you, traditional Christianity) I refused to admit it until YEARS later. Like after uni later. The way it kind of came out to my mum and sister (the only ones in the family to know) wasn't the best way to tell them (bundled up in an argument and some revelations about some traumatic ass shit that happened--s****l a*****t). I had my first real girlfriend after that. Younger than me, but not by too much. Her mum and I worked at the video store together, and we'd hang out as a group and watch new films (mum was way older). Almost a year later, we broke up. Oh well...

As an adult, I've embraced who I am. I'm not out to my family because of the whole BURN IN HELL YOU SINNER bullshit that they practice (not you know "love your neighbor" and Jesus said "STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE"). My students take one look at me and go, yep. QUEER SCHOOL MUM! They know they're safe to talk to me. About 3.5 years ago... maybe a little longer... I started to realize I was also poly. Now, I'd met and become engaged to my husband at that point (three year anniversary yesterday, boy buddy--got married on the 13th). But that's how I felt. It took a while for me to tell him.

Since then, I've had a couple relationships. My now wife--yeah, my wife--is my other best friend. We met because of Tumblr. Because of one of my Young Bucks fan fics on my writing blog ("I sat bolt upright in bed and realized THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A KID NAMED RJ"). We bonded over our love of wrestling and Fozzy and classic rock. We wrote a whole thing over Tumblr message that is basically the reason we're together (Jericho really IS the cupid of rock). She is EVERYTHING I could ever have asked for and more. Yeah, she's hot and sexy and fine AF. Yeah, she's funny and makes me laugh and reminds me that being my unique self is amazing. Yeah, she is an amazing mum in her own right and loves and cares for everyone around her. Yeah, she's like me and a little slutty (a lot slutty) for Daddy Jericho. But the best thing about being with my wife? The absolutely best thing?

Every single day, she makes me be a better version of myself. She shows me kindness and grace and respect and sacrifice. She sees me, hears me, tells me hard truths when I need to hear them. She allows me to be vulnerable and trusts me to be supportive of her vulnerability. She holds up a mirror that reflects who I WANT to be.

And that means being honest. It means facing my doubts and my jealousy and being able to recognize that yes, I have a mental health disorder that makes my emotions hard to regulate in personal relationships. But no, that isn't an excuse for not taking ownership of how my emotions affect my behaviors and then affect others.

She gives me courage. Courage to fly 3,000 miles to a country where I knew no one but her where I stayed for a week. She makes sacrifices for me and our relationship just as I do, too. She fights for us. WE fight for US. Our Family.

In short, my wife is my person. She is the place I feel safest letting down my walls and showing who I am. (Husband too, of course, but this ain't about you,boy buddy, so stop being so diva). @spaghetti-hoop, I love you with all my heart. Forever and ever. Amen.

P.S. Also, who gives a fuck if baldy saw the end of Schitt's Creek? He doesn't get to wear gorgeous headbands like Alexis and definitely wouldn't know how to respond to...

[angelofdarknessss]

Beautiful Sinner

Chapter 1: Why? Previous Parts: Prologue 2/2

Next Part: CH-2 Word Count: 3,426 Main Pairing: Toko Fukawa x gen!neutral reader Summary: Things seem to get more and more strange Author note: I meant to post this a day after I posted this chapter on ao3 but I forgot...hahaha SORRY. also happy late new year againn

The words echoed in your head like an empty room.

“You must kill someone if you want to leave” …..You couldn’t talk. There was nothing that needed to be said. In fact, there was nothing said for a few minutes, the only thing that spoke were everyone’s eyes. Just looking into them, you could almost hear “…Are they going to try to kill me?”

The air felt so heavy, so thick you could cut it with a knife. But as thick as the air felt… a sharp voice was able to pierce right through it. It belonged to that lavender haired girl…Kyoko.

“So? What are you going to do now? Just stand around glaring at each other?”

Her pointed comment was directed at everyone in the room. It seemingly helped everyone pull them back into reality.

Taka perked up at this. “R-Right... She's right!... Sometimes, even if you're nervous or afraid, you just have to step forward!” He said confidently, though It looked like he was about to cry. “To forget such a simple fact... I can't forgive myself. I'm so ashamed! Please, someone hit me! I can't forgive myself! Somebody hit me! Punish me!”

Mondo grunts in response. “Jesus. If you have time to yell about it, you have time to DO something about it.”

“Perhaps, but...what is the mission, exactly?” Hifumi whimpers. “Idiot! To look for a way out, duh!” Leon responded.

“And we totally need to find out whoever was controlling that stupid bear and beat the hell out of 'em.” Junko angrily stated.

“...B-But before we do all that, maybe we should look at the handbook... It's probably best to check out the school regulations Monokuma mentioned before doing anything else.” Chihiro said. She was right about that…Mondo was almost killed a few minutes ago because he unknowingly broke one of the rules.

“Ah…that’s right… we should probably take a look at that now…I don’t want to get blown up.” You said as you glanced over at Mondo.

Junko sighed in response. “Fine. Then let's hurry up and check out the stupid rules already.”

You turned on your e-Handbook, the first thing that appeared was your name. From the main menu that popped up, you selected the School Regulations icon. An itemized list appears on-screen, it was the rules being imposed on us.

Students may reside only within the school. Leaving campus is an unacceptable use of time.

"Nighttime" is from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Some areas are off-limits at night, so please exercise caution.

Sleeping anywhere other than the dormitory will be seen as sleeping in class and punished accordingly.

With minimal restrictions, you are free to explore Hope's Peak Academy at your discretion.

Violence against Headmaster Monokuma is strictly prohibited, as is destruction of surveillance cameras.

Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate unless they are discovered.

Additional school regulations may be added as necessary.

You were starting to feel nervous again, you lifted your head from the screen and saw the same stormy expression on the other’s faces…including Makoto.

“This… this is…I don’t…what….” You started to stutter. You just couldn’t seem to gather your words right now. Your words were interrupted by a piercing yell coming from Mondo. “This is bullshit! What the hell kinda rules are these!? I'm not gonna let them control ME!”

Celeste giggled into her hand. “Well then, why don't you wander around the school without a care in the world and see what happens? Personally, I would love to see what happens when someone breaks one of the rules.”

“But if he got punished like what we saw before, I don't think there'd be a respawn waiting for him...” Hifumi nervously said. Mondo was silent for a few seconds.

“…..”

“I... Ever since I was a kid, I grew up with my older brother pounding this into my head... When a man makes a promise, he has to keep it, even if it kills him.”

“…So what?” Junko crosses her arms. “I've made a ton of promises that I still have to keep, that's "so what"! Mondo clenches his fist in anger. “So I can't afford to die in here!”

Celeste toys with hair as she looks away from him, looking uninterested. “None of that made much sense to me, but you are saying you will follow the regulations, is that it?” Mondo looks stunned for a second before scratching the back of his head slightly embarrassed. “Huh? Oh, well...yeah, I guess you're right.”

“Hey, um...I have a question. For regulation number six...what do you think it means exactly?” Sayaka softly spoke up. That rule she was referring to was… “Anyone who kills a fellow student and becomes "blackened" will graduate unless they are discovered.”

“You're talking about the second half, right? Where it says, "unless they are discovered"? I was wondering about that myself.” Makoto said. “I was wondering about that one too…what do you think it means?” You followed up.

Byakuya answered for us. “It's saying that if you want to graduate, you have to kill someone without anyone finding out it was you.” Toko shivered. “B-But why...? Why do we h-have to do that?”

“I don't see any reason to worry about it. Just worry about following the rules as they've been explained to us.” He crosses his arms. “Frankly, I don't want to hear anything from someone who waits for others to decide what to do for them.”

“D-Don't jab at me...” She responds while blushing lightly. You couldn’t tell if she was happy or upset over that comment.

Aoi confidently clenches her fists. “Now that we know the rules, let's start exploring the school!”

Ex…exploring?..... right now?..to be honest you were too shaken up STILL about everything that just happened. You don’t understand how this can fuel anyone to do anything. That and… you were worried about exploring this massive school possibly alone knowing that there could be someone lurking… just waiting to kill you. You weren’t gonna go down without a fight for sure but…its still horrifying to think about.

Both Leo and Taka agreed. “True. We need to find out where exactly we are. Is there any way out? What about food and supplies? There are tons of questions we need to answer!”

“Damn straight! Okay, then let's all start looking around!” Leon replied

“...I'll be going alone.” Byakuya states flatly. “What!? Why? That's a pretty stupid idea, don't you think?” Junko criticizes him.

“Someone here might already have started thinking about murdering one of us. Are you saying we should stand around with them in our midst and make it that much easier for them?”

“W-Wait, hold on a second. That would never—!”

Byakuya cuts off Sayaka almost immediately, following with a stern, serious expression painted on his face. “Don't bother saying it couldn't happen. You can't deny the possibility. That's why you all seized up with fear when that graduation rule was made clear to you.” He cockily smiles. “Am I wrong?”

“B-But......”

“So, I'm simply acting in accordance with what I think is best for me.” You scoffed in annoyance. What’s this guy’s problem.

Before you could comment on his responses to Sayaka, Mondo steps in very heated. “Hold on! Like hell I'm gonna let you run off and do whatever you want!”

“Out of my way, plankton.”

“Wh--!? The fuck's that supposed to mean!?”

“One tiny bit of plankton, drifting across the sea. So minuscule, so insignificant, they couldn't possibly have any kind of influence on the boundless ocean.” This severely angered Mondo. Somebody was definitely about to get beaten up.. “I'm gonna kick your ass!”

“S-Stop it! We shouldn't fight!” Makoto spoke up. However, this was a bad move on his end.

Mondo turned to look at him, his anger still boiling inside him. “The fuck you just say? You some kinda goody-goody little bitch?” You stepped in front of Makoto. “H-Hold on Mondo! Relax!” You attempted to de-escalate the situation. Instead Mondo shoved you on the ground away from Makoto, you landed on your arm. “Get outta my way!”

“Ugh!—" A groan escaped your mouth. Before Makoto could acknowledge you, Mondo was already getting closer to him. His face was red hot and his hand was clenched so hard you could see his fist turning white. “Who do you think you are, talkin' to me like that? You think you're my fuckin' dad or something!?”

“N-No, I wasn't--!”

“Fuck you!”

*WHAM*

Makoto’s body fell straight onto the ground. It was like something straight out of a comic book, Mondo punched Makoto so fast you bet he didn’t even see it coming. One second he was standing there perfectly conscious the next second you saw him unconscious on the ground.

“MAKOTO!” Both you and Sayaka screamed.

Everyone else was in shock for a moment before ultimately rushing coming to check on him…by everyone else you mean everyone besides Byakuya, Kyoko, Celeste, Toko and.. Mondo. You rushed by his side and started to shake Makoto somewhat gently. “Makoto?! Are you okay?”

“Ah! Y/N d-don’t shake him!” Sayaka stuttered out as she kneeled next to you. “Oh my! This is becoming quite interesting.” Celeste giggled into her hand in amusement.

“O-Oh no! Makoto! can you hear me?!” Taka frantically yelled.

“Wh-wh-what just happened?!” Yasuhiro yelled.

Junko annoyingly scoffed. “Weren’t you paying any attention? Mondo just punched him! We haven’t even left the gym yet we’re like already messing up!”

“Get off my ass I didn’t punch him THAT hard.” Mondo was still visibly angry but was slowly calming himself down. He glanced over at Makoto a few times, showing no other visible reaction to him.

Now it was your turn to get angry. “What do you mean not that hard? He’s not moving!”

“It’s not my fault he’s a weak little punk!” He responds defensively.

“D-do you think h-he’s dead...?” Toko stuttered. Before you could respond Kyoko came near Makoto and placed her index and long finger gently on his carotid artery, checking for a pulse. Luckily, he was in fact not dead.

“No. He’s alive, just unconscious.” She stated plainly. You let out a sigh of relief. “Ohh.. thank god..” Sayaka was put at ease as well. “Thank goodness….”

Hifumi anxiously glances at Makoto. “So.. uh… what do we do about him now that we know he’s—” right before he could finish his sentence, Monokuma popped up without any warning.

“Phuhuhu!~”

“Kyaaaaah!” Toko screamed.

 “That was so fun to watch! You guys haven’t even made it to your dorms, yet you’ve already started to slaughter each other!” He laughed into his paws maniacally.

“Slaughter?! He’s not dead!... why are you even here?!” You yell at him. “That’s how it always starts! Sooner or later, you’ll be towering over his dead, soulless body. As the innocent or.. who knows! Maybe the murderer! Those tools you have are pretttyyy sharp and pointy! Can those scissors cut skin?” He teases.

“For the last time these tools are for HAIR—!”

“Anywho… I’d love to keep tormenting my lovely students but!...” He waddles over to Makoto. “I’ll have to steal your little friend here!” You and Sayaka protectively grab Makoto’s shoulders, pulling him towards you both. “No! You’re not taking him anywhere!”

“Y-yeah!...” She agrees. “Now now kids! Not too aggressive! Remember, you can’t touch me otherwiseeee…. You’ll be DEAD!” He shouted towards the end of his sentence. “Besides, I’m not going to kill him. That’s your guy’s job. I’m just going to safely put him in his own dorm, so when he wakes up, he can join you. Can’t have you guys be focused on him when there’s much more interesting things for you guys to explore!”

“But…how can we?!—” Kyoko cut you off. “Step away from him, Y/N. You too Sayaka.” Her stern voice made you both flinch. Sayaka nervously looked at Kyoko. “B-but…”

“Now, both of you move.” Sakura sternly said.

“………….”

“…………”

You both hesitantly moved away from Makoto’s unconscious body, allowing Monokuma to come back and carry him. He crawled under his back and lifted him up slowly, it looked like he was struggling as his arms were trembling, but he still somehow kept his composure with that same creepy smile. “Ah.. you worried I’m going to hurt your little boyfriend? *huff*.. don’t worry, I would never hurt my students!...for no reason that is.” And with that Monokuma ‘carried’ him out of the gym and to his assigned dorm.

You continued to sit there kneeling on the floor as you stared at double doors, slowly closing. Leaving everyone in a state of silence for a few moments. That is until that one individual spoke up again.

“Anywho… I’ll be leaving. Try not to get yourselves killed.” Byakuya stated flatly before beginning to walk towards the double doors. “W-Wait you’re still leaving?... even after what you just caused?!” Aoi called out. “I haven’t done anything. That idiot has only himself to blame.”

“You—!” You angrily get up from the floor, Sayaka watches you hesitantly as she got up alongside you, putting a hand on your shoulder to lightly reassure you. “This is your fault! What do you get out of provoking people huh?!” He spares you no glance, not even an acknowledgement of your existence. It’s like you don’t exist to him.

“Goodbye.” He says before finally leaving. Another person leaving your group. “...ugh..”

Sayaka rubs your shoulder gently. “hey... are you okay?”

“…..Uh.. yeah I’m fine… I think.” You responded while you stared at the doors. She took notice of this. “Don’t worry about Makoto, I’m sure he’s gonna be okay..!” Aoi some-what confidently states.

“But—! What about Monokuma?” You stammered. “If Monokuma’s intention was to hurt him, he would’ve done so already. Not only that, but we’d already be dead.” Kyoko said.

She was right but… this didn’t stop you from worrying about him. Especially considering the situation you were in now. “Yeah… yeah she’s right!” Taka perked up. “We’re still alive and well so that should mean something!”

“Yeah m-maybe for now…t-there’s no telling what that bear is doing to that idiot… probably ripping out his t-teeth or stitching h-his mouth shut s-so he won’t talk a-again…” Toko said. This caused most of the group to be repulsed of the thought. This didn’t help your worries, in fact that made it worse.

Sayaka’s face turned white. “D-don’t say that! That’s horrible!” Junko nodded in agreement. “Right, what the hell Toko? Are you trying to freak them out again?” Junko herself seemed a little disgusted as well.

“ u-um so… are we still going to look around the school…?” Chihiro asked while nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

Oh right… we were supposed to be exploring by now. Instead, everyone including you got sidetracked with the whole Makoto situation...

“Oh yeah that’s right! We were supposed to be looking around.” Yasuhiro stated, rubbing his head. “So…is the looking around the school together off the table or…?”

“I believe it would be wise to investigate separately, we can find our own clues I suppose. Perhaps Byakuya’s idea wasn’t too bad, yes?” Celeste questioned. Unfortunately…. she was right. Exploring in one big group would’ve most likely declined your chances of finding clues to escape. Though, you felt nervous even thinking out doing it alone.

“Okay! Then it’s settled! We will investigate alone!” Aoi confidently said.

Before anyone else could respond, Toko quickly spoke. “W-wait what?! B-but that’s practically s-suicide! Are you t-trying to get me k-killed?!” Toko whined.

“Alright alright! Then… go explore with Y/N! I’m sure they don’t mind.” Aoi replied.

You and Toko exchanged looks. Her eyes then followed from yours to your waist apron, her face immediately contorted into a look of disgust. “….N-No…!”

You just continued to stand there in silence, unsure how to respond. “……” What was her problem with you?

Junko groaned. “Then what do you want?! You’re making this much more difficult than it needs to be, girl!”

“….um…maybe we should rethink investigating alone then…?” You stated. “How about we look around in groups instead? Probably groups of four.” Sayaka nodded in agreement, clasping her hands together. “Oh! I like that idea! How does that sound, everyone?”

Most of the group looked at each other momentarily before silently nodding in agreement.

 “I can roll with that.” Yasuhiro crossed his arms smiling.

 “Eh…alright.” Leon shrugs.

“W-were changing the plan that fast?! Just like that?!” Hifumi stuttered.

“Actually...I want to investigate alone.” Taka said. Aoi tilted her head in confusion. “Huh? Are you sure?” He proudly put his hands on his hips.

“Yes! We shall meet again to talk about what we found elsewhere.” He states confidently as he puts his hands on his hips. Another one who wants to search alone huh?

Aoi shrugs. “Okay, suit yourself.”

“So, about those groups uh…. Who is—”

“I’ll pick them!” Taka cut Hifumi off, leaving him a little defeated. “Hmm let’s see… how about Yasuhiro, Leon, Junko and Chihiro?”

“O..okay!” Chihiro happily stated.

“Cool! I can deal with that!” Yasuhiro states.

“Fine with me.” Junko shrugs.

“Fantastic!” He places his hand on his chin. “Hm...let’s see… how about Kyoko—”

“I’m investigating alone.” Kyoko spoke up sternly. Taka looked a little surprised. “O-oh? You too?” She silently nods. “If you say so then…” He looks around at the other group of students. “Okay, since Kyoko is investigating alone... let’s do Sakura, Aoi and Mondo!”

You? In a group with Mondo?

Mondo scoffs. “Whatever, sure. Let’s just get this shit over with.

Aoi confidently pops her jacket collar. “Got it! I’ll do my best!”

Sakura only silently hums in agreement.

“So that leaves me, Y/n, Celeste, Hifumi and Toko...!” Sayaka wrapped her arm around yours. “Hey y/n, would you like to investigate with me?” She gives you that same warm smile she gave Makoto. “Just until Makoto comes back…?”

“Ah…well…”

“I-If you want to of course!...I don’t want to pressure you.” You chuckle dryly, giving her a smile back. “It’s okay, Sayaka. I’ll go with you.” She lets out a sigh of relief. “whew..okay, good!”

Taka happily extends his arms up. “Perfect! All who is left is Celeste, Hifumi, and Toko! How convenient, you guys can be a group!” Toko gives Taka an irritated stare. “W-what am I?!..Left overs?” Celeste glances over at Hifumi, then to Toko. Her expressions weren’t the most readable like the others, but you could tell she wasn’t thrilled about this group choice. “Ah… actually, I—”

“So… are we ready to go investigate?”  Yasuhiro cuts her off unintentionally. “Actually, I’d rather—"

She gets cut off again. “It seems so! Okay everyone, we will meet up later to talk about what we have found! Let’s go!” Taka proudly states. “But please, watch your step!” Hifumi looks over at Celeste, who held an unreadable expression. “Uh…are you okay miss Ludenburg?” She turns her head to face him, her face held a blank stare while she held her pale hands together. “Yes, perfect.”

He nervously chuckled. “O-okay, if you say so.”

She was not perfect, not even close.

“Are you ready to go, y/n? What should we explore first..?” Sayaka asks you. “How about the dorms? I want to see what they look like since it seems like were going to be here for awhile..”

“Aww.. you really miss Makoto, hmm?” She teases. You put your hands up defensively. “Wha-? No. I mean, yes I am worried about him but I wanted to check out the dorms from the-“ You could hear her giggling into her hand at your reaction. “I’m just joking. Let’s go!” She drags your arm towards the exit and you both made your way through the hallways towards the dorms, the others soon followed behind to begin their own investigation. You don’t know what the future will hold, hell you don’t know if you’ll even survive the first night. Will this investigation even be worth it? If there was a way to escape…surely it would’ve been patched by Monokuma? It makes you nervous. But right now, you’re willing to do what it takes to figure out a way to leave Hope’s Peak Academy that doesn’t involve taking a person’s life.

Thank for reading! See you in the next chapter <3

[theharrowing]

OK Collateral thoughts:

The POV scenes are incredible and I will definitely be subscribing to read the entire things. I don't know how I missed those posts but I can imagine you were probably not pushing them too hard since you mentioned feeling awkward about asking for money (I would too!)

I love seeing the nickname list evolve, and I remember swooning over the idea of Jungkook calling mc "doll/dollface". It gets me every time. And I am obsessed with the fact that you randomly write scenes for future chapters with a vague plan to figure out how they fit into the story. I always just assume that everything is written linearly all at once, so to see how you plop scenes in is fascinating because it flows so well.

Also your note of, "changing the anime mc and Jimin are watching from Attack on Titan to Chainsaw man because i absolutely fucking hated the ending of AoT lmao." LOL. My older brother watches AoT and he was SO FUCKING MAD about the ending. He also read the manga and hated the ending then, and I remember him saying, "I sincerely hope the anime has a different ending because that was some genocide-loving bullshit." I would love to know your thoughts!

Also your little "he’s ready to love, 내게 말해 줘, can we stay together? can we stay together?" made me laugh so fucking hard and I even sang it aloud hahaha. Is this what you are like IRL? I wish we could be friends IRL because you always seem like so much fun. Are you a carat? Who is/are your bias?

ALSO YOUR FAVORITE PARTS FROM CHAPTER 18 SENT ME TO HELL. Like, I also loved those lines while reading the chapter but then to see them listed out was deadly. "You can hear the sound of his fists gripping the sheet below, soft material scratching against blunt fingernails—a quiet, tactile cry of desperation." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely deadly. How do you think of these lines?

These are the end of my notes! I see that you posted 19 and I am so excited to dive in! I'm also really glad your bags are home safe and that you seem in much better spirits today than you were yesterday! Thanks again for all you do!!!!! - 🗡️

OMG DAGGER LMAO your recent message came in reminding me of this one!!! i saw this come in the other day while busy and then i forgot, as i am wont to do hahaha. gonna respond to this one and then immediately respond to that one.

you are correct that i don't push the pov scenes too hard haha. i feel awkward asking for money but i also spend a lot of my free time writing and was looking for a way to make a couple extra bucks back when i made that patreon (which is now a buymeacoffee.) it's a shame because those really do have scenes that i feel are important to the story, but i also can't ask people to give me even $2 (tbh i only see like $1.30 of it lolol. more like buymehalfofacoffee.)

i used to write everything linearly but my mind sometimes races and i do my best to keep up and jot ideas down as they come, because i will forget otherwise. i do a lot of daydreaming when i commute especially, and it is easy to get lost in imagining scenarios. also, i am glad you like doll/dollface. i wasn't sure people would, but it seems a few do! (i'm more of a kitten person but i ruined calling mc kitten for myself with boy blue.)

i did not read the AoT manga but i did read about the manga ending and i am mad for exactly the same reasons as your brother. i have A Lot of Thoughts™ but idk if this is the place for them lmaooo.

singing in the middle of a sentence IS how i am irl and i am glad you are charmed bc i always worry about being annoying. (i suppose both things can be true!) you're so sweet for wishing we could be friends! 🥺😭 i am not fully a carat because i don't have a lot of energy to give to other groups lately, but my biases are Hoshi & Jeonghan. i love them very much.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR NOTES & THOUGHTS WITH ME!!! 😍🥰🥰 i love that you are so hyped about this, and i am excited to read the other message that just came in!!!

[beef-brisket]

It's been a few days since that bullshit Patrick pulled, and thankfully, Adam hasn't had any more encounters with demons. He doesn't know how they'll give him to make a choice. But he was quickly malikg his mind up.

His head has been killing him since he got Lucifer home. It started as a mild throbbing, but it's quickly turned into a constant pounding. Adam likes a good pounding, but not like this.

He hasn't felt pain since getting bitten by that werewolf, feeling the flesh and muscle in his neck be torn away, felt better than whatever shit is going on I'm his head.

But that won't stop him from looking after Lucifer. Adam suggested he stay in bed and let him cater to Lucifer, who quickly agreed. He's getting better. The wound on his head is slowly closing.

Adam was making some soup and toast for Lucifer. He even had the vegetables in the oven. He'd never made soup from scratch before. Even with his pounding head, he was still going to do the best for Lucifer.

After an hour, Adam put everything in the oven onto a blender. He was so proud when he saw how smooth and creamy his soup looked. Not bad for a first time.

It didn't take long to finish from there. He just added a grilled cheese and carried everything to Lucifer.

Adam: alright babe, I fucking outdid myself with this one- but you'll love it

Lucifer: it smells great, Adam~

Adam: Well, you know, lil roasted vegetables never hurt anyone

Adam sat the tray down on Lucifers lap. He's noticed how odd he's been acting, making he hit his head a lot harder than Adam thought.

He's so glad Seth hasn't seen Lucifer, not just because he's an ass, but because of how painful that gash looked. But thankfully, when Adam told him a little lie and that he was perfectly fine, he believed him and walked away. No fighting or anything. Fucking, good. Seth could be a real confrontational dickward sometimes. Especially when it came to Adam. But it was like he completely changed his tune.

Adam sat back and watched Lucifer eat. He's been constantly thinking about what Patrick had said. Bastard. He was definitely going to kill that fucker one way or another.

Lucifer: Are you alright, Adam? You seem distracted. Is there anything I can do for you?

Adam: hmph... yeah, a fucking blowie...

Adam looked surprised when Lucifer moved the tray off his lap and went to stand.

Adam: hey! No- what are you doing, babe?

Adam quickly got up and pushed him back down, Lucifer responded by trying to open Adams pants. Luckily, he was wearing trackies, and they were tkde nice and tight. Lucifer didn't seem to grasp that idea yet.

Lucifer: giving you what you asked from me.

Adam: no- stop, Luci, you need to eat. I was fucking joking-

Fuck his headache was getting worse, and all this sudden moving around wasn't helping. But what he said seemed to calm Lucifer down, and he went back to eating.

Adam sighed and fell back into his chair. He left like his head was going to explode. He has no idea why. He's drunk nothing but water. He heard that's meant to help.

He lent forward and cradled his head.

Lucifer: you look sore, Adam

Adam: mhmm... fucking- I don't know... don't worry about it- why aren't you calling me love?

Lucifer: That's not your name, Adam

Adam: ...yeah... sure, whatever... I'll deal with that once this headache gets better...

He looks uo at Lucifer, who continues eating. He isn't acting right. Maybe he should take him to the hospital?

Adam whispering: what's going on with you...?

BOO

@fanofstuff01 BOO TO YOU TO BOOO

Happy spooky month! This is bullshit! I'm in pain and have a headache, so take this au, my beautiful online friends!

Dentist!Adam au.

He's a menace. He's not even a real dentist. He just walked into a random dental office and put on a uniform.

I feel sorry for whoever his patients are because fuck numbing- he just pulls out the fucking tooth. And it's usually the wrong tooth. So you have to go back.

He's the only dentist in this area, so good luck finding someone else.

You'll either get your teeth cleaned or he'll ride you- there's no in-between.

People honestly prefer having sex with him because he's actually really fucking hot. As you can guess, people really don't like it if he's in his working heads pace.

Penitent: I- uh- I'm here for 69ing-!

Adam: Sorry, babe, but that canine's gotta come out. Maybe next time~

He fucking eats the teeth. He's a fucked up tooth fairy. He doesn't make the rules.

Then Lucifer comes in. A monster hunter and collector of bones. Monster bones.

He hears about some creepy fuck taking people's teeth out, so he goes to see what's up.

He gets an appointment, but he doesn't let Adam touch him. He instantly knows what he is because he's got the sharpest fucking teeth.

Adam is instantly infatuated with this guy. He loves monster hunters. They taste great.

And Adam thinks this guy is going to be an easy kill because holy shit, this guy is so fucking small.

Lucifer doesn't reeeally want to kill Adam because even though he's creepy, he hasn't killed anyone. So, he finds the basement where Adam lives and ties him up.

Adam: ooh~, what are you going to do to me, Mr big, bad monster hunter~?

Lucifer: I'll going to take your head once I find a fucking person you've killed

Adam: take my head, huh? Oh, baby~, I'd rather take yours~. Allll night~.

Lucifer: ...

Did the real dentist fuck off or something lmao I'm loving this though.

Lucifer: Seriously?

Adam: Yeah, I see the outline from here big boy.~ I can take it.~

Lucifer: You eat people's teeth like potato chips.

Adam: Girls gotta eat babe.~

[colbysluvr]

In the Night — c.b.

A/N: HII i’m new to this whole writing on tumblr shit so.. HII, umm if you wanna give me some requests go ahead, anyways, here’s your first story from me!

prompt: Y/N plays a familiar game of spin the bottle where she then freaks out of the room, but when Colby reaches her distance she accidentally announces to him that she isn’t experienced in any sort of sexual activity, until this nights party. || colby brock x fem!reader ||

warning: smut, pet names, language, oral (receiving), and unprotected sex.

not my gif — https://www.wattpad.com/amp/914202251

—

“Spin the bottle, Y/N,” Katrina demanded you, you hesitated, you were becoming all clammy in your palms, you panicked only because of your long-living crush on the Colby, your best friend. He insisted to sit in the circle once 4 more players had joined Katrina, Tara, and you. Now it was Colby, Sam, Jake, and Kevin who was unexpectedly drunk this evening.

“What?” You asked, shaking out of your thoughts. “Just spin!” She repeated once more.

Your eyes glared onto Colbys, and his beautiful sky blue eyes lied on yours, he spun the bottle for you. “Thank you, Colby, wasn’t expecting to sit here all night long,” Jake joked, he was your best friend, how could you not laugh at Jake.

You held your breath in panic, but exhaled once it landed on the empty space that the 7 of you had created.

“Bullshit! She should spin again!” Kevin shouted.

Tara grinned, she and Jake knew of your secret love interest for Colby, but no one else in the circle knew. You could trust those 2, right?

Tara then broke the silence from the room, “Yeah, that empty space is so boring, we should just let her have another go,”

You gave Tara a death glare with a low growl, “Fine!”

You spun the bottle this time without any hesitation, and just as you thought, it landed straight on Colby, since Tara had stopped it. “Oops, I expected it to land on the empty spot again, my bad!”

Colby just looked at the bottle pointing at himself, then looked at you with his shimmery ocean eyes. “This is awkward though, Colby and I are good friends! I don’t want to play 7 minutes in fucking heaven with him, Im out!” You exclaimed.

It was more out of nervousness than any other thing. But as soon as you exited the theater music began to blast back into your ears again with a bunch of people around, a bunch of drunk people around actually.

You walked straight into the kitchen helping yourself to a cup of alcohol. “Y/N!” The familiar deep voice had you shiver down to your spine, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not feeling it tonight, Colby,” You spun around to talk to him face to face. “I’ve never even kissed someone before!”

You gasp at your mistake, his eyes are completely wide now, “Im so sorry, I’m drunk?”

He nods his head slowly, perking his lips with now crossed arms, swaying side to side, “Do you want me to help you?”

You are now wide eyed by his response, “What? No!”

“Are you sure,” He comes close to your figure now leaning onto the counter blocking your left and right exit, “Are you sure you don’t want help?”

You don’t know how to respond from how flabbergasted you are now, “I-I, I’m sure,”

You push him away slowly, and exit to another room where more party people are, you could hear Colby scoff from the distance even over the loud music.

Even though you could feel the tension between you two, you just don’t know what to say, but once your jealousy hit as soon as you saw him and some girl grinding against each other, you mind just wanted to speak it’s words, so you stomped your way towards the now stupid boy and grabbed his forearm leading him to his bedroom.

With full honesty you answered with a straight ‘yes’ and continued up to his bedroom where you had opened the door, and he teased you even more by pushing it open, pretending as if you need help with the door.

The two of you sat down onto his couch both close together and just sat in silence. Which you broke the silence with a commitment, “Just know this is just a kiss and nothing more, nothing more!”

“Okay, okay, got it,” He leaned in, until you sweetly backed him away, “What?”

“I don’t know if I want you to really take my first kiss, Colby,” You admitted.

“Why? Don’t you like me?” He asked with a slight smirk.

“Wait, what?! Who said that?” You panicked.

He looked around his room and just shrugged. “You have to tell me, Colby!”

“Fine..” He laughed, “It was Tara and somewhat Jake, they said they were planning on getting us alone tonight,”

“Wait, why’d they want us alone tonight?“ You asked with full concern.

“…Because I also may have a crush on you too, Y/N,” He admitted.

“What?” You we’re fully flabbergasted at this point, at no point in time have you ever thought, Colby Brock would have the same exact feelings that you have had for him for 2 years.

He leaned in slowly, and this time you allowed it. You didn’t stop him at any point in time by now, you were fully in this trance of wanting him.

“Please…” You whispered, not knowing you said it out loud.

“Please..?” He mumbled, repeating your words back to you. “Do you want me, Y/N?”

“Please, Colby,” You pled.

He continued to kiss against your lips, harder but sweetly each time. Colby began to lower his kisses down onto your jawline, and you leaned your head resting back onto the couch.

Colby moved though. You opened your eyes to see he was towered over your body now, leaving his hand out for you to grab.

You took his hand, and he had lead you straight to his bed where he had lied you down on sweetly and began to give satisfying kiss down to your chest, he lifted your dress above your head and started to stare at your figure, mesmerized until he began to kiss your lips again.

You had mumbled a couple of moans through the kisses which each time he would groan to. He glided down your figure slowly again, this time coming down to your core.

You opened your eyes to see him hovering over you once again, “Can I be your first, Y/N?” He asked.

You nodded immediately, him being your first was like a dream to you.

“I’ll be gentle,” he admitted for your comforting.

He continued back to what he started and then kissed up back to your jawline where he connected your lips to one another again.

He lifted your body where you were sitting half way up, and disconnected your bra, he slid it off with ease and threw it somewhere down on the floor.

He kissed his way down your stomach once more and down to your core where he than slid off your underwear, again with ease.

“You’re so beautiful,” He complimented with kisses in between. You had moaned with the pleasure of the compliment and also because he was about to go down on you.

Colby started with teasing by licking up your slit slowly, you had gripped the sheets, you couldn’t hold it in, you just wanted him at this point, and you never knew you could want someone as bad as you wanted him, “Please.. Colby, just do it,”

His eyebrow had lifted and he smirked, he rose one leg above his shoulder and began to slowly tease you again by slowly inserting his tongue into you. You moaned when his tongue started to swirl into your clit. You never felt anything like this before and you enjoyed it so much, but your climax had reached very quickly from the pleasure, “I’m.. about.. to..-“

Colby knew exactly what you were about to say, “Shit.. cum on me, Y/N,” his voice had vibrates onto and gave you more of your climax to rise, it felt like your stomach had a bunch , and once you came, he continued by flicking his tongue into your clit faster, reaching your high.

Once Colby licked up the rest of your climax and dropped your leg but made you separate your two thighs, you twitched with the pleasure, he kissed his way back up to your face and smirked, “You’re so pretty when you cum..”

Just like that, the unexpected fulfillment had made you moan, “Fuck,” He swore, “Don’t do that to me, Y/N,”

Colby thrusted inside of you, making you lose you mind and uncontrollably moan, “Shit, you make me so happy,” He kissed you on your lips, and groaned against your moan.

Your legs had wrapped around him like if you had no control whatsoever, your clit had clenched around his dick, “Holy shit, do that again,” and once again you had clenched around him.

“Fuck, Colby!” You moaned out, the same feeling as before had begun, “I’m going.. to cum!”

Just like that he sped up, “Not just yet..”

You were confused, but tried to keep it in as long as you could, he thrusted hard and faster, having both of your bodies smack against each other creates noises, “Colby!” You cried out.

“I know,” His body began to twitch, possibly meaning he was close too, “Cum on me Y/N,”

You listened and came onto him, which created him to cum after, he groaned and slid out of you slowly.

“Fuck, Y/N,” He lied next to you.

“Thank you, Colby,” You thanked.

He looked at you and sat up on his elbows getting up to grab your underwear and bra he threw, he buckled his jeans belt after helping you get dressed, “Can we just lay down?” You asked.

“Sure,” He replied, and he walked over to the bed which you were already lying down on, and he covered you up with his blankets, “God you’re amazing,”

Which made you giggle, “I love you,” you admitted in confidence.

“I love you too, thank you for this night,” He admitted as well.

[yandereloversblog]

𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

Random discussion I wanted to do cuz it's a shower thought about TR. It started as Bonten Mikey but it also fitted other characters and it turned into an essay >>'

Also incoming editing to these yandere discussions cuz I finally have a layout XD

Like your yandere asking you if you love them and you answering yes because Stockholm Syndrome, scared you'll get hurt more or punished and all that bullshit. Then that asshole hits you with the "Then how about we die together? Kill ourselves at the same time while holding eachother?" Cuz they're too tired to live but you huff and say no.

Before they can throw another temper tantrum/punish you you're gonna respond with "The afterlife isn't known at all, whether our souls might find each other there isn't guaranteed either, or if we'll be reincarnated at the same time. So I want to keep living with you for as long as I can and make even more memories. Maybe they'll help me find you again in our next life." And smile.

They turn so red from blushing and probably start crying cuz they think you love them so much, promising they'll make sure you two keep living together for a very long time while cuddling closely to you and clinging for dear life. Apologizing profusely about how they even brought it up and it was so insensitive to ask you to die with them when you wanted to live for such a lovely reason.

Meanwhile you're probably tied to the bed comforting them, with some will to live and escape left in you and you're not gonna let this lover's suicide trope ruin it.

Mikey for sure, that bitch just added 20 more years to his life because of this 💀 especially Bonten Mikey, like you saw light flash in his dead eyes for a minute when you were talking before he broke down crying. Kanto Mikey would break down too, a lot more queitly while clinging to you but he's sobbing and choking out apologies. I'm not even gonna bringing up Toman Mikey/Manila Mikey, cuz we know they'd start crying immediately and probably kneel for forgiveness cuz they wanted to end everything just because they were done with life when they should be greatful for even being able to breath the same air as you since you love them back.

Sanzu too, man just can't believe you actually wanna continue being with him after everything he's done. In Bonten it probably happens after Mikey fell from the roof with Takemichi and now he feels he can't protect you either but how dare you give him another reason to live? Meanwhile with Kanto and Toman Sanzu they fall in love all over again. Tbh they all probably gave you a mocking grin and said "So you finally learned." But bitch even the blind can see how he's shaking and crying without even realizing it. If you say "I love you" after that expect him to break down.

Kazutora, best way to manipulate this yandere hoe is like that, I feel like he turned so red and suddenly drank 247 energy drinks because he can't calm down or even go to sleep when remembering your words. Like do you actually mean that? Really? You love him that much? Is he even deserving of it? He was just about to let both of you rest but now his obsession got worse. Most definitely apologized for one or two hours and kept saying he loved you and would make sure you two lived as much as possible.

Izana, he might end up saying some "So you think I won't find you after we die? I'll drag you to hell with me if I have to!" But it's with a trembling voice and he's still tearing up cuz his abandonment issues are getting lowkey fixed. You wanna stay with him even after he's punished you so harshly? Of course you do, how could he doubt that you would want to die when you could live with him instead? Izana genuinely apologized for even bringing this up -ONE apology though- and he ended up giving you more privileges to breath after, probably began acting softer too.

Senju would have to be at a really low point in her life to ask that of you but you just made her do a 180 because this just confirmed you love her too right? Then as long as you want to live like that she will too! It's easy to escape her but if Senju managed to lock you down and you end up saying that to her??? Please get ready to be somewhat free again because she trusts that you love her and won't escape.

We also have Shinichiro, Chifuyu, Hakkai, Souya, Takemichi and Hinata who would fall for your words but they'd never try to do a double suicide cuz they don't want you to die or get hurt, especially not by them.

Naoto, Kakucho, Inui, Koko, Rindou, Emma, Yuzuha and Shion -Shion is kind of easily manipulated shush- would also never ask you of such a thing because they don't want to die when they have you in their life but there's a 1000% chance they fall for your words and become softer.

Meanwhile people like Draken, Ran, Mitsuya, Taiju, Baji, Muto, Nahoya, Mochi, Benkei and Kisaki are mostly moved by your words, like get that doki doki feeling but it probably was a test and you passed it with flying colors. They also don't trust you that well so nothing much changed other than they don't feel as suffocation as before.

With Hanma, Bonten Koko, Bonten Ran, Wakasa, Takeomi, South and Bad Toman Kisaki it definitely was a test and they don't believe you but are glad to know their punishments are working and you behave so well now/got Stockholm Syndrome.

[izzy-b-hands]

Additional info and job hunting frustrations, bc I'm just gonna try and keep them today all to this post via reblogs

This same job has an otherwise potentially perfect job description. Which I would love to believe is true.

However. They also (paraphrasing here) make clear that you essentially aren't considered eligible for raises by them until you've worked there for 2-3 years. For a part time clinic med records job.

I've also been trying to field off the companies that do ABA bullshit, by simply responding to their messages on Indeed (probably too honestly and openly but they piss me just by existing, and I have no other power in this job hunting equation so. taking it where I can get it) with some variation of:

'Thank you for reaching out! I really appreciate you considering me for this position. However, as an individual on the spectrum, I do not participate in nor would I ever seek work with a company of your kind. I wish you the best of luck in your continued search!'

They key here is that I'm not applying to these positions, they're just finding my searchable Indeed resume (necessary or I don't think I'd be getting any hits at all tbh) and then sliding into my messages with this bs. I know they can't know I'm autistic, but it feels so presumptive of them to send messages like this at all; not even the form messages Indeed writes for them, but actual, clearly written by a real human requests for another copy of my resume/a cover letter/anyone's first born children that I have laying around that they'd be willing to give up to get me a new job/etc.

Like. Maybe a few other companies have done this with such. shitty 'I just KNOW you're dying to work for us, so we've given you so much grace and kindness by reaching out to offer you maybe a chance to interview if we still like you after rereading your resume :) Aren't you grateful? Will you bark for us? Go on, bark! Beg! Beg for your 15/hr that won't keep up with the cost of living. DO IT.' sort of messages. But goddamn do the ABA companies/clinics feel like the boldest out of them.

No responses from the past few jobs I've applied to (one of which was a really lovely part time reception gig that tbh I really really wanted, but I'm guessing since they're a smaller more local business they found someone they know through staff and were never intending to hire outside of their main network) but! In between typing this annoyingly long post (kudos and sorry if you read this far, I'll try not to have too many updates to this post as I keep scrolling Indeed) I found a credit union job that I initially thought was terrible bc:

-responsible for opening and closing it, balancing all teller stations, sorting mail, sending out all reports to relevant industries re: credit union business including receipts, main phone system team member (I assume means one of the only ones answering the phone, teller task/services including all acct types and offered services, cross train in other depts, clean, and refill/remake all pamphlets

Until. I saw the hours, and realised that for the hours they're open (usually 9-5 or 10-5 w/no weekends!) this really isn't anything worse than I did for my old eye clinic job.

They really wanted someone w/financial institution experience, but I'm crossing my fingers my old clinic experience might cross over in an appealing way for them.

I need to record the stupidest requirement I've just seen for an OD tech position:

required military service, so that you 'know how to keep an office clean'

That's insulting to multiple groups of people; it would be funny if it wasn't infuriating