#saw just wants to hurt the empire right here right now and doesn't care about the consequences

[stairset]

Love the idea here that the other rebels' problem with Saw is just that he blows shit up and not the whole "torturing prisoners and endangering civilians" thing

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hey i just read some of your fics and i can’t lie..IM. IN. LOVE!!!! I absolutely adore your writing style too! When i saw you wrote something that included Roman Empire I screamed lol.

I was curious tho how would König from that au would’ve react to his lover being tired and pregnant carrying his heir. (Pregnancy kink alert) and their sex life looks during pregnancy 👀.

(This is not a *fic* fic, I just love to do these cute little moodboards! lmao)

Roman!König gets so fussy when his little fairy gets pregnant 🥺

Their new hut is barely even built before she notices that her moonblood no longer arrives. When she tells König the good news, he's already the happiest man in the world but now he's about to burst from joy. All his dreams are finally coming true!

König is so proud of his queen, but he's also proud of himself. He’s been working hard every day – as a man should! – hunting and fishing and building their new home and making love to his woman, basically toiling from sunrise to sunset. Now that there's a baby on the way, he can finally catch his breath and concentrate on taking care of his wife and finishing the roof for their new house ❤️

And lovemaking! There's lots of it in the first months, but when the baby starts to grow, König refuses to "bully" her before the child is born. Says that in his homeland people believe that it can hurt the baby if a man tries to get an already pregnant woman pregnant again. As much as he would love to do his daily duties, he can't risk the health of their child so it will simply have to wait.

Man starts to talk to her belly before even a month has passed, and in his own crude language too. Doesn't see how his fairy queen is rolling her eyes at this – even a mighty warrior turns into a simpleton when they've managed to get a woman pregnant, it seems.

She’s not jealous, per se, she just thinks he’s being a bit silly :/ König likes to ramble to the baby even more than he rambles to her these days, and the baby bump is not even visible yet! And when it is, gods, he gets even more silly. Every morning König gives her a kiss, then goes down to her belly and gives the baby a kiss too, then says Guten Morgen with a wide, cheerful smile.

It’s nice to see that at least someone here is happy, because she’s not having it easy; her back and knees hurt all the time, she wakes up five times during the night, her feet are always sore, she has to pee constantly, and her appetite is gone. König isn't really helping: he tries to feed her all the time “to make the baby strong” and gets worried if she doesn’t eat enough.

So it's a good thing that König has his little building project going on, otherwise he would go mad :/ Man is working hard to build the animal pens before winter, hunt the food, and do some carpentry such as make them a sturdy enough bed (...) that he dozes off in the evening after eating three large bowls of stew. These two lovebirds are soon sleeping under a pile of furs, with König's large hand protectively over Fee's tummy while the embers in the firepit offer them warmth through the night ❤️

And if Fee was treated like a queen before, now she's almost like a goddess. Barely gets to prepare the food because König doesn't want Fee to exert herself. The only thing she's allowed to do is weave (they have this cute little vertical loom), and if she ever looks tired, König will order her to rest and comes to pet her head or massage her feet.

Starts to excitedly talk about how he will teach the child how to run and wrestle and hunt and fight, be it boy or a girl. He has to teach their little wolf cub to fend for itself if need be, right? When Fee cuts in and says that if it’s a girl she can always marry a strong husband, König looks at her in shock. His baby girl, marrying some ugly, big brute who just wants to force his head under her dress?? There's no way he’ll let that happen!

[intheorangebedroom]

Well….

THIS:

Cassian Andor x rebellion pilot!reader x Din Djarin

Is absolutely screaming at me 😵‍💫🖤🥵

Just the thought makes me

💜

Ahahahhaha!!

Thank you so much for this ask, Kyla 🧡🥰🧡 This one is so old. Before I even knew there was fanfiction on tumblr! I spent weeks, no, MONTHS, daydreaming about it, right after I saw season 1 of The Mandalorian. I'm gonna try ot give you the short version because it goes very deep 😅

So you are a teen when the Empire destroys your home planet and kills your family. Classic. You're left with nothing to lose, no one to love. After you escape, you get radicalised and join Saw Gerrera and his crew. With them, you train very hard to become a ruthless killing machine. You can use any weapon, blaster, vibroblade, rifle, your fists, you basically turn your own body into a weapon (can you tell I want to be Black Widow when I grow up?).

However, as you grow older, you don't always see eye to eye with Saw's modus operandi, and when you meet this young rebel intelligence captain (this was long before the Andor series), you decide to follow him.

The connection between you is immediate (yeah ok, I know I have a brand...). You work together, and there's nothing you can't do, no intel you can't retrieve, no mission you can't achieve successfully. You think and work and move as one, two peas in a pod, it's uncanny the way you can communicate without words, and that's what makes you so good at your job.

At night, at the base, you share one bunk bed, and there too your connection is otherwordly. It's not even sex, it's a communion.

It's weird to think of yourself as happy, given the war and the circumstances, but you are fulfilled. You have a purpose, and someone you'd die for.

Until you get word of this super weapon the Empire is building... So here it merges with the Rogue One plot, but without Jyn (I'm sorry Jyn, I love you, but there's no room for you in this pod). On Scarrif, at the very last moment, before the impact, Cassian manages to shove you into an escape pod despite his injuries, and you're propelled into space, drifting helplessly as you watch the love of your love being blown to atoms. You hurt so much you think you’ll die yourself. You want to die. When you reach base they have to sedate you. You miss the battle of Yavin and all. 

Fast forward a little, you become a pilot for the Black Squadron, some kind of last chance unit that gets sent in when the situation is desperate. You’re the best because you're reckless, you've got a deathwish. You’re dead already, anyway. 

When the war ends, the politics start and you’re gutted because half the Imps are pardoned and walk free. So you go rogue, hunting them down on your own. You’re now wanted down by your former comrades, people you’ve fought alongside with. You live in the shadows. But again you don’t care, you’re dead. 

That’s how you end up on Nevarro, helping a certain Mandalorian escape with his little package (my babyyyy).

At first, Din doesn't trust you at all. Things are very rough between you. But he understands he needs you. And he's intrigued. He saw you fight. As for you, you stay because you won't let the Empire get what it wants.

So time passes by, on the run from the Empire and the New Republic. You cohabitate in silence, you fight alongside each other, you take care of the kid together. After a while, you become intrigued too. He’s righteous and competent and a reluctant hero and... broad. You look at him and caught him looking too (as much as you can tell with the helmet). However, you know about the Mandalorian way. And that shit's not for you.

So you strike a bargain. You two can fuck whenever the kid’s asleep, but you only take off as much clothing as he does. So it’s a dance, sort of, over many weeks, months, between you and him. You're tough, and he's tougher, but is he really? It's him wanting more and more of you, so taking off more and more of his armour so he can touch more and more of your skin (yeah I know, the armour-peeling metaphor is not very original 😂).

However, Cassian haunts your dreams. Or rather your nightmares. Even more so now that you’re slowly falling for another man, even if you don’t realise it yet. You wake up in sweats, crying out his name, and Din is fucking burning to know but he can’t bring himself to ask. He grows increasingly impatient and furious at your reckless ways, you take too much risks, it’s obvious you don’t care if you die and he just can’t take it anymore. He cares. And he wants you to care too. He’s giving you his trust, forgoing his way, and you’re not committing yourself. You remain on the edge. And his frustration and anger reach an all time high (*swoon*).

After one particularly violent fight-- wait, should I tell you how this ends??

Anyway, I can't believe myself, I said the short fucking version 🤦🏻‍♀️ The girl who couldn't be concise to save her life (or that of her friends). I'm sorry! Plus it's most likely not the mmf you expected, it's just fight and smut and angst, I'M SORRY!

Here, for your trouble:

(this gif makes me fucking sick)

[never-ending-fanfic]

OCD Kallus WIP

@sapphic-loser16 and @seth-shitposts thank you for asking about it 💙🩵💙

(Disclaimer #1: if you're a person with OCD and you don't relate to this or think this is unrealistic compared to your experience- idk what to tell you. I write this for me and it reflects my point of view, OCD is not black and white, it's different for everyone, so yknow, don't like, don't read

I did something similar when I was invested deeply into the Atla fandom and I'm doing it here- projecting my experience onto a character, as nice way to put my own mentality in perspective. In short: OCD is a bitch, so I'll use it to torture a character)

TW: mention of intrusive thoughts, compulsions, non-graphic violence. I'll place a cut here

The thing about OCD Kallus WIP is: do I think Kallus could have OCD based on the show? No. Will I give him one in fanfiction? Absolutely.

I don't really think I'll even publish it- it feels personal in this wild manner. I might change my mind sometime. But in the meantime, the general idea consists of this (and bear with me, it's long):

Kallus has had OCD ever since childhood, but he doesn't remember that well. He can recall a few strange things he made himself do just to be safe, but not much beond that. In the Empire he didn't have the symptoms, because when he was in the academy, a medic prescribed him meds for said symptoms and they worked (who cares that he had a ton of side effects like insomnia and stuff like this, it worked so he didn't complain). And slowly he forgot he's ever had to deal with that.

After he defects, it's logical that he doesn't take the meds anymore. For a while it's fine, he got a dose before Atollon happened so it still works for some time. Until it doesn't, of course.

All the intrusive thoughts, all the paranoia and all the obsessions hit him like a train one sunny, lovely day when he's having tea with Hera and they're talking gossip about the base. And then he gets a very visual idea to pull out a blaster and shoot Hera in the head. It's very explicit and he clearly sees every part of it happening almost in front of his eyes.

And he's (kriffing rightfully so) terrified. And because he's never been in therapy or recieved any sort of help except those blasted meds, he spirals into panic pretty quick. He gets more thoughts like that, about not only the Spectres but anyone he interacts with, about hurting them, assaulting them or killing them. The thoughts appear out of the blue at any moment and he's never prepared for them. Assuming that he's going crazy, he doesn't tell anyone, scared of what the people might thing and scared of loosing everything he has because of it. He tries to take care of it by himself- by distancing himself from people he's scared of hurting, by never going near weapons, by throwing his own blaster away, he's even avoiding kitchen knives and forks, because he know that with his training, it could be turned into a deadly weapon.

The others see it and try to help, but he only distances himself further and further, to the point that he's scared of leaving his room, imagining he might hurt someone if he goes out.

Oh right, add to that a huge number of rituals he has to do now, to keep everyone around safe from himself- he needs to turn the light in his room on and off five times, because if he doesn't, he's going to stab Sabine in the back, tap his fingers together in a pattern before settling for the night or else he will blow the base up. And he doesn't want any of that to happen, so he does all these things and more.

And then one day the Spectres decide to use force to get him out of his room and he finally agrees for the sake of looking somewhat like his normal self in front of them. They have dinner on the Ghost. Before he can grab a fork though, he claps his hands in a pattern. He reaches for a fork and hears Ezra snort, asking what was that he did with his hands. Kallus' blood runs cold at the thought that someone saw him and he's so stressed that he feels the urge to flee- he needs to perform a ritual, but he can only do that when nobody else is around. And he almost does so, before Zeb stops him and a whole mess starts because Kallus panics and says he absolutely needs to get out and go to his room and Zeb, misunderstanding the situation, is insistent on him staying. And then Kallus blurts out that if he doesn't go to his room this instant, he could kill the entire crew and he doesn't want to do that, so will Zeb please let him go, so he can-

And then Zeb let's him go. And they all watch stunned as Kallus bolts out of the Ghost.

No plot beyond that, I have no idea what goes on besides that, but I know that- the ending is gonna be happy, with the crew realising what is going on and chasing any info on what OCD is, Kallus goes to therapy, gets diagnosed and gets the necessary resources to battle that fuckery with the help of his family and they live happily ever after the end

I kinda felt like crying as I was writing this down

(Disclaimer #2: OCD is a fucked up thing to have and just to be sure that I said it, just so I can carry on with a clear conscience: intrusive thoughts are NOT some unspoken desires of your mind that you actually want to happen- intrusive thoughts are chaotic wild messes of things you fear you're capable of doing and you're so terrified of doing them that you must perform tasks so they don't happen- it doesn't make any sense and believe me, anyone with OCD is aware of how irrational it sounds, you don't need to tell us. But it works like that. Intrusive thoughts are things we would never do, but they scare us so badly to the point of making up inexistent connections between them and our compulsions.

And for the last fucking time, OCD DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A CLEAN FREAK WHO JUST LOVES ORGANISING THINGS BY COLOUR- and if a person with actual OCD does that, it's certainly not because they like it)

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

ok bad batch finale time! here's my thoughts!

The Summit

ok I'm so scared rn, the opening credits haven't even finished and I'm terrified for my babies

please please go save him

yes tech!!! family comes first

ok I didn't like Phee at first but her interacting with Megs 🥹

oop tech and Phee moment

lmao tech can't do emotions (yk what, same tho)

(cue tiktok sound "walk him like a dog sis, walk him like a dog")

poor tech he's so fucking confused 😂

that fucker is back 😒

I hate this doctor so much

his voice annoys me

also fuck tarkin, what an ass

low-key so mad at hunter but it is what it is

bad enough that he left cross on the platform but trying to argue that they shouldn't go rescue cross makes me so mad

(believe it or not, at one point I was a hunter girlie and not a cross girlie)

which planet is raxus again??? tbh they're all blending together at this point

lol omega is joining wreckers scared of height club

gd tech is doing something to me today

don't get caught guys, please don't get caught

I did not have hunter willingly killing multiple troopers on my tbb bingo card

*brief intermission in my tbb commentary to inform you that my cats are wrestling and the older one (spock) refuses to just deck Hex when he's annoying him*

again, this dr pisses me off

"test subjects" well that is definitely not ethical

again, fuck tarkin

wtf is project star dust

techs little leggings 🤣 I love them so much

mouse droids!!!!!

stay focused on the mission guys ffs

run omega run

ok prediction: they're not the only ones breaking into the summit

called it lol

tbh saw gerrera really pisses me off, idk why tho

and covers blown lmao

stormtroopers wearing Corrie red hurts my soul so much

let me guess, saw gerreras team is going to grab the one shuttle they aren't supposed to grab

nope they just blew up the ship instead

I don't think they're gonna save crosshair

are we gonna get a season 3????

Plan 99

please I want them to save my boy

please Filoni I'm begging you

I already know something is gonna happen to tech (I opened up tumblr to block all the spoilers tags and unfortunately there was a whole bunch of spoilers on my dash 🙁)

tarkin just really doesn't care about his own troops huh

run tech run

fuckkkkkkkk

tech is gonna die

wrecker is too heavy, he'll make it worse hunter

omg I'm literally sobbing

tbh this was not how I wanted to start my day 😭

tech's dead honey, he won't hear you mega

wreckers little neck brace 😂

don't fucking tell me, that after tech sacrificed himself, that you aren't going to go try and save crosshair

you've already lost one brother, you don't need to lose another

omg they're gonna have to tell Phee 😭

cid sold them out

wait maybe they'll get taken to the same place as cross!!!

ah for fuck sake

it's doctor asshole again

yk they were kinda stupid to go back to ord mantell

cid told them this was gonna happen if they showed face again

and omega is playing right into their hands

doctor asshole brought up tech and wreckers reaction was my reaction

Hemlock is such a fucking dick, like giving hunter his brother's cracked goggles and saying that's all he could salvage?!?!!

I hate him more than krell

"she's long gone" except she's literally venting lmao

god I hate him

at least he found echo

"why did they bring me here?" because they needed Nala Se to cooperate

wait are we gonna find out how the emperor did the thing he did in the sequel trilogy???

don't tell me she's gonna see cross barely alive

for fuck sake the empire is traumatizing this child so fucking much

omg the assistant or something is her template I'm calling it right now

ok I mean I was close, they're sisters so I'm not far off

omega don't look so surprised, it's kinda obvious

so anyways I think that's practically confirmation of a season 3

[the-firebird69]

This is not one of Dave's children it's one of the clans people who used to Revere his wife thought it was a good thing and you didn't like it he's a mean person and she's a very pretty woman and had a lot of decent ideas about how to do things and he was mad about it and he's a bum and evil just like our son said and a son didn't like him he's always putting him down and pushing him around it was rather simple and he had Joel do this and the computers directed him to and Joel doesn't think so but he's in that case he is a nutcase what happens is this giant was vulgar and eating people through the mask the mouth opens and she was sick inside and out and the clans have had it people said it too they're all done with everybody we don't think she made it and she was a mad woman at the end now something she may have people think that cuz she's sunk into the sand and they saw it and she's not a daughter but her her head is 10 mi high and a body about 150 MI it's massive it's bigger than anything you've ever seen your Giants don't get that big and she was made to swallow someone who is infected with Groot and she didn't know about it and yeah stop it he's laughing because he knows what happened she is a little too and it's gross but she pooped them out and did the big piece of poop she threw at a ship and it missed and it was her last act it made it into space well people saw it and the empire saw it and they wanted to make it huge to threaten to Earth to get back at the clans to take the stuff and a bunch of idiots but inside was Groot and he's growing and this is the current star son used on this poor piece of crap Joel Watts cuz he knows that they put the in beds in there and the fooll didn't know about it. Yeah he's going to March around and say he did and saw the fight or our son had with Dave and his wife is beaming with joy and happiness. And sees our son is treated with care and respect he's going to get himself out too but with my help and she says it too and I understand that so he's got a live one here he says and the guys are laughing. But this is a horror story for him and a lot of people he was a nightmare on earth and the Mac proper made him that way and our son doesn't want to be him or anything like him he's very mean but no not anything like him parts of him were loving and gentle and he loved his wife and he couldn't do it anymore and they pushed him to be a maniac and he still loved her when he was the accident and I'll tell you what they were kind of hurting each other but couldn't help it and knew it was power and they said you're going to get a salad and I said it's going to be the clans or bust and they got it out and they said it's a good boy and he cares about us and Joe Watts drove right off into a pylon people say he saw something but he was pushed there by Tommy f

This is a very huge story so we're going to print

Thor Freya

Olympus

Haha my husband gets lost a little bit at the story but Thor and Freya are telling it terrifically

Hera

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

When I Found You (Pt. 06 of 19)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader | Negan X daughter! Reader

Word count: 2.7 K

Summary: You saw Negan build his empire, saw your father become a monster, a murderer, and never had the courage to stand your ground. So everything you do it help as much people as you can, carrying the guilt of being part of it. But one day, your world is shaken when you find him, the man with blue eyes locked up inside a cage. You decide to help him, to keep his community safe. And for that, you'll have to pretend you and Daryl are in love... But how long until the lie becomes the truth?

Warnings: Some sensitive topics such as mentions and light descriptions of self-harm. (I kept it light, so don't worry about graphic descriptions.)

<- Previous part (05)

Next part (07) ->

{The Walking Dead Masterlist}

A/N: I wanna thank (and give a lot of credit) to to absolutely awesome friend @multific, who helped me with a lot of ideas, and also with the final editing of the text. Love you, girl!!

×

Bloody Secrets

Daryl was impressed that what (Y/N) promised was happening. Negan ceased to bug Alexandria, but he knew it was only a pause. He knew this act had to go on, for the sake of the people he cares about. His family.

He missed them, every single one of them. Rick, Carol, Maggie. God, he needs to know how she and the baby are. Little Ass Kicker, Carl, and Michonne. Sasha, Rosita, Denise. As he lies down on the couch, he thinks about them. He never felt welcome before, not even by his blood relatives as he feels by this random bunch of people he stumbled upon when the world went to shit.

But the truth is that he thought doing this would be harder. Daryl started despising the angel-like girl the moment he saw her. She was one of them, a Savior. And when she proposed all this, he knew he had to suck it and get on with this stupidity. But now things are different.

Daryl is seeing (Y/N), the girl behind the Savior mask. The vulnerable human being. He had a special sight of it when she was hurt, two weeks ago. He never felt so protective of someone before, and certainly not someone like her. A girl, still a stranger in many ways. And now there are feelings inside him that he just can't understand, it doesn't matter how hard he tries.

What does it mean when you close your eyes and someone's face pop right up? And what does it mean when your heart starts beating faster when this someone walks into the room?

Too many questions Daryl can't answer. And he hates not having the answer.

Good thing he doesn't have to. Not now.

When he looks at the clock, he sets it in motion, leaving the apartment and going to the place she told him to.

Today, Rob will be made an example of.

He finds a crowd on the Northside of the compound, near the fences where a lot of walkers are tied up to. Making his way through the people, getting some angry looks and rude words, Daryl finds her, standing right on the front line, next to her bodyguard. (Y/N)'s eyes find him quickly, and there's a look he can't understand.

“Daryl.” She mumbles as he walks over to her. She wants to say something, but she can't. Not here, where people could hear it. It's insane how easily Daryl learned to read her.

He's about to say something when voices make him look to his left. It doesn't take much for him to spot Negan, and half a dozen people coming out, opening the gate, and walking around the walkers to stand right in front of the crowd. They drag a badly hurt Rob with a bag over his head.

“Well, well, well.” Negan chants, and immediately, people start kneeling. He hates it. But it's not the first time he's forced to degrade himself in such a way.

Daryl stands his ground for a while, but when he sees near him kneeling down, he knows he has to. Everything to keep up the act. To keep his family safe.

He's just about to bend the knee when he feels (Y/N)'s hand grabbing his. For a moment he freezes, unsure of what to do. Looking up at her, he finds a silent sentence, written all over her face.

We do not kneel. It burns through his brain as her fingers intertwine with his. A sensation he never felt before.

Looking ahead again, he sees a very annoyed Negan staring right at him, eyes falling on their connected hands.

“Rise up.” He commands, and so it happens. “We're here today for a special occasion.” In a fast move, a man pulls the bag off Rob's head. “This fella over here stepped way beyond the line.” He hisses, swinging his bat in the air. “He hurt my baby girl.”

“I-I'm so sorry.” Rob bags, blood coming off his mouth.

“Just kill him already.” (Y/N) mutters in a low voice, so low he's not sure if he was supposed to hear it.

“Shut up!” Negan shouts. “And we all know that nobody. Touches. My. Baby. Girl.” He hits Rob, but not on the head as Daryl was expecting, on both his legs. And everyone here heard bones breaking. “This is an example of what happens to those who disobey my orders or hurt my daughter!” He shouts again, yelling at the crowd. “It will not be tolerated! Simon! Mark!” He calls, and both men step ahead, already grabbing Rob and pulling him up. “Show people what we do to those who can't follow simple rules.”

And so it begins. Rob is pushed forward to a spot where a walker can reach. And it does. Simon makes sure Rob's legs are reached first, and as he screams in agony and tries to crawl away, they push back, over and over, until the walker finally gets his hands and teeth on Rob's guts. Then, it's dead silence. All that can be heard is the screaming, and after a while, incomprehensible moaning and the sound of flesh being torn apart.

Daryl doesn't know how he feels about it. Rob's death is probably for the better, but dying like this... Nobody deserves it.

“(Y/N)?�� Jim suddenly calls, and at the same moment, he feels her grip on his hand getting loose as she collapses on the floor. “(Y/N)!”

Jim is quick to move, ready to pick her up. But it happens almost at the same time, without Daryl even noticing. (Y/N) reaches for him instead, and he's fast to lift her up.

“What the hell is going on?” Negan asks, but Daryl doesn't give a shit. The girl in his arms feels like she's passing out anytime soon, and he has to take her away from this gruesome scene.

The crowd moves out of his way, as (Y/N) hides her face in the crook of his neck.

You're glad when Negan and the doctor finally leave. You didn't want all this attention, so you're relieved when it's just Jim and Daryl. From your place seated on the bed, you sigh, looking down at your hands.

“Jim, can you spread up that I didn't have breakfast? That I wasn't feeling well for a couple of days?”

“Sure.” He nods.

“Can you go and do it, please? They know we're close, they'll believe you.” Reaching out your hand, you smile when Jim grabs it.

“You don't have to say please, (Y/N).” With a playful shake, Jim stands up and walks out.

Daryl only moves when the door closes, taking Jim's place at the armchair near the bed. Taking a deep breath, you pull your legs, hugging your knees. “Thank you for–"

“Why did ya faint that way?”

“I didn't faint.”

“Ya almost did.”

“Daryl, I–”

“Don't lie to me.” He cuts you off, and you close your eyes for a while, just to gather your thoughts.

“Nobody deserves to die like that.” You speak up, raising your voice at the frustration. “Nobody! I wanted him dead, yes, but not like that. Not like that.” Your hands go to your thighs, squeezing it a little and shooting pain through your skin. You take a deep breath, taking it in. The long, bloody scratch marks are here, and you can't wait until you're alone to draw some more. It makes you smile a bit, knowing you have this to relieve you. A little bit of pain for all the unbearable pain you cause.

“What the hell are ya doin’?”

“Nothing.” You mutter, running your hands through your hair. “I've been meaning to talk to you, so it's good you're here.”

“Was it true?” He suddenly asks.

“What?”

“That ya didn't have breakfast.”

“Oh... Yeah.” Confused, you furrow your eyebrows. You didn't know Daryl got that part. “I didn't sleep well so I woke up late for the thing and just... Just didn't eat.” Without saying anything, Daryl nods and gets up, leaving the bedroom. “Hey, where are you going?” Stumbling off the bed, you follow the man... Who's not going out, just to the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Makin’ ya somethin’ ta’ eat.”

Furrowing your eyebrows again, you lean against the door frame. “Just make enough for both of us.” Daryl is a mystery, one you've been trying to discover. Biting your lip, you walk to the kitchen, sitting on the table and watching Daryl move around. He gives you a few glances whenever he takes something as if waiting for you to tell him not to.

“So... Do you usually cook for people you hate or am I just lucky?” Breaking the ice, you take in the amazing scent of bacon.

“I don't hate ya.”

“Mmm... My father killed Abraham. And Glenn, whose wife is pregnant...” Drawing figures on the wooden table, you sigh. “He psychologically abused your group. How can you not hate his daughter?”

“‘Cause yer not Negan.” As he speaks, Daryl puts a plate in front of you. Scrambled eggs with basil and bacon, and it was only now you noticed how your stomach hurts.

“...Can I tell you something?” Whispering, you have your eyes on Daryl as he serves himself and sits across from you.

“Yeah. But eat.” Jerking his chin at you, he only starts eating when you do.

You eat in silence for a while until your stomach stops complaining. “I... I wanted to run away a while ago.” You finally say, keeping a low voice. “Couldn't take it anymore so I just... Just wanted to go. Find a place, be by myself but... I'm not a survivor, you know? I can fight, I can hunt and everything but... The truth is that there are a lot of evil people out there. And eventually, I would have ended up with them. And I don't want to get hurt or... raped... I'm safe from those things here.”

“I don't blame ya for that. I've been around for quite a long time and I've seen a lot of evil men.” Daryl's eyes burn on you, and there's something in them, anger, sudden and unexpected. “And a pretty girl like you would drive them mad.”

Blushing and looking down, you giggle. “Save that up for when we're around people. It's of no use here.”

“I ain't lyin’.”

“Yeah, I–” You're cut off when you hear the door being open, and when you hear Negan's laugh, you roll your eyes.

“(Y/N), come–” He stops the moment he gets in the kitchen, and despite having your back at him, you know he's staring at Daryl. “Can we have lunch? Like a normal family?” He says in an annoyed voice.

“Only if Daryl can come.”

“Nope. Just you and me. Family only, c'mon.” He stands next to you, and you look up at him. “We need some father and daughter moments... And we need to talk about this whole thing going on here.” He gestures at you and then at Daryl.

“Fine, Dad...” Sighing, you give Daryl an apologetic look. “I'll just finish here then I'll go. Can we cook some of mom's recipe?”

“Great!” He exclaims. “Now get over with whatever this shit is.” And he leaves, but not before giving Daryl an angry stare.

Taking a deep breath, you continue eating.

“If ya need me, ya know where ta’ find me,” Daryl says and you nod, raising your head to look at him.

Some time after you're both done eating, he helps you with the dishes. You'd like to lie down for a while, but since Negan wants an update on your love life, you go straight to him.

You make one of your favorite recipes, and you chat as it cooks. You reassure Negan over and over again that you and Daryl are becoming a thing. That the interest is mutual.

Once you both eat, you decide to stay a little longer. You were feeling dizzy, so you crashed on the couch for some hours, and that's when the childhood memories started being brought up. You miss those times. You miss your mother, Lucille, and you miss the man your father was. The man who didn't enjoy killing or hurting people.

You were lost in that sweet time when some of the Saviors got here. Being Negan's favorites, they were invited to stay and have drinks. You immediately felt uncomfortable, but for the sake of appearances, you stayed, chatted, and laughed.

Until they started talking about the people they killed.

Until they started talking about Daryl's family.

With an excuse, you left, but on the way to your apartment, their voices echo through your head.

“That one was tough.” Simon said, in between laughs. “Skull cracked open and still standing.”

“There was some of his brain on my boots.” Mark mocked.

“And the Chinese guy?” Simon basically yelled, laughing too hard.

“God, that one was fun. Eye popped out and still talking.” Your father added, and all the others joined the laughter.

“And his super hot pregnant widow? I'd totally bang her.” It was the last thing you heard before going out.

You're a crying mess when you get to your apartment, closing the door behind your back and safely locking it.

All the pain Negan caused is too great. A child will grow without their father. A wife was left alone. Friends lost a dear one.

Before you can even notice, you're already in the bathroom, pants taken off, and fingernails scratching the outside of both your thighs. The pain makes you cry even more, but that's nothing compared to all the pain the Saviors cause.

That you cause, because you're one of them.

Sobbing, you only stop when your fingertips are covered in blood, and it drips down your legs.

You move straight into the shower because you need to make sure the wounds are clean. After a while, you hear a knock on the door, which makes you close the water. Rolling your eyes, you quickly dry yourself and put on your panties, and the light pink robe before heading to the door to dismiss whoever came. Walking makes you feel dizzy, and your head is full of images of death.

This is what you are. Death.

“What the hell do you want?” You say as you open the door, half hiding behind it. But when you see Daryl, you freeze, your heartbeat increasing. Or maybe stopping.

“Came ta’ check on...” His voice fades when his eyes fall on your hand, resting on the door near your head. Confused, you follow his gaze, and it takes no time for you to notice what he just saw.

You didn't have time to clean the blood under your nails.

“What's that?” He asks, and you immediately push the door close. But Daryl is faster, pushing it open and stepping inside, grabbing your hand and taking a better look at what you can't hide anymore. “What is this?”

×

@riverscyberwife @spenciepoo338 @beatitlikeabongodrum @amberritonicole @totheonethatloveshernext @the-artistic-animal @shatteredlovesick

[rcksmith]

The Agreement part.2 — Kaz Brekker

Resume/Masterlist

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader.

Warnings of series: Convenience/arranged marriage, swearing, mention of fight, mention of death, mention of desire, fluff, sensual, mention of post-traumatic stress.

Warnings of chapter: swearing.

Word count: 4k

A/N: I hope you guys like.💖

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are closet. Love you ❤️

— — — —

“What?!” Your exclamation came out louder than intended, and perhaps sharper than expected.

The salty sea breeze came through the window once more. The smell of salt and ocean invaded the room and for a second it felt like being in a ship's cabin at sea.

Kaz looked at you as if you were some child. Or someone deaf. But if he was swimming in acidic thoughts, he didn't say them.

"Think carefully." His voice was firm and explicit, the ones men use to convince women of something. “You want freedom, don't you? Live your life without having to fulfill a man's whims or your father's expectations. You wants to be able to snow on a ship without having a date to go back and make your own destiny. You want just needing to care what new adventure knocks on your door and what promise of wonders life awaits. It is not?"

How did he figure it out so well in such a short time? Was he too shrewd or were you too transparent?

You nodded, unable to say anything. Perhaps out of perplexity at how Kaz read you so easily. Or maybe the way he looked like an overpoweringly beautiful fallen angel in the moonlight.

“And the only way to do that is to get married.”

You frowned. “As I recall, Brekker, I came here just so I wouldn't have to get married.”

“And it's a stupid plan.” God, you wanted to kill him. “You asked me to have the Dregs take you to the harbor without your father's spies noticing. But it turns out your father's spies already know you're here.”

Your breath was lost somewhere between lungs and nose.

“Since you arrived, the noise from the Crow Club downstairs has become less shrill. And this is not typical criminal behavior. Either they have adopted good manners or someone they know they should fear has joined the Club.” Kaz sat more relaxed in the armchair behind his desk, his dark blue eyes locked on you. “I would bet on the second option.”

“So I came here for nothing?” You were starting to get angry at his beating around the bush. Because you knew it was manipulation. Brekker was laying the groundwork and you understood that.

“I did not say that. Turns out you can never get rid of your father. Not when he's a man with the purchasing power able to buy an entire country. There will always be someone who will recognize you, someone who will find you. And for the right price, the whole world is capable of being bribed. You would run away only to be chased by other spies, other people wanting the reward your father will give to whoever brings you back home.”

Very early on, you realized that Kaz Brekker was capable of crushing dreams as easily as crushing an insect. His destructive power was colossal and you saw all of your desires floating under his palm. Waiting just for him to brutally clench his fist and crush them.

But that's not what he did.

“You'll only get what you want if you follow his orders.” The breeze came through the window once more, ruffling her charcoal hair. “But if you can't defeat your enemies, change the rules of the game.”

“And is that where marriage to you comes in?”

“See it.” His body leaned very gently across the table towards you, it was a millimeter and ridiculous gesture, but it felt like him standing a breath away from you. “What you need is to get married. But marrying someone who doesn't give a damn about what you're going to do, and don’t have expectations of you. Someone who is not interested in home life, family life or Any other things you can offer other than money.”

Any other things you can offer. The night breeze this time was accompanied by an impure, almost obscene scene of the fallen angel in front of you on a bed of black duvets and caustic weather. A moment when the ends of his black hair brushed your forehead and your nose, moving back and forth as followed the rhythm of his hips and…

The sea breeze was gone, taking the obscene image with it and bringing back your common sense. For a second you wondered where that came from! You hadn't been in his presence for more than two hours and the entire compilation of what it was like Kaz Brekker, so far, had frightened you and attracted you in an absurdly dangerous way.

"And are that you came, I suppose." You hoped your voice couldn't give away your impure thoughts from seconds ago. “Do you want us to form an alliance where you receive my dowry and in return I am free from my father's demands and can do as I please with my freedom?"

“Alliance is a very strong term for what we are doing here.” He was succinct, “I would tell you to look at this as a business transaction. A marriage document is still just a piece of paper. And nothing else. Don't get carried away by sentimentalism. Things only have feelings if you want them to.”

Kaz was right, you knew that. For all your belief in true love and the many books romance novels you devoured, you still understood that a marriage could very well be seen as a business translation. It are a sad, cold way to see something so beautiful, but it still true.

“I have no interest in anything other than your dowry and you have no interest other than freedom. So what I'm proposing is something very sensible and objective. When we get married, your father will set you free, and you won't have any husband to please or any other crap. I don't want and don't expect anything from you, I don't care if you're sailing to Ravka or venturing on The Fold.”

“Do you want the money out of greed or despair?”

Kaz took a second to get a better look at you after that sneaky question. You had asked the correct question amid so many banalities and he realized that you were more cunning than you looked.

If he wanted to know your secrets, you also wanted to know his.

“A bit of both.” He was sincere.

“And what do you intend to do with my father's industries? Because you would win them too. And any misdirection could end up reducing my father's empire to nothing, and I don't want him to see the thing he loves most in ruins.”

Brekker heard the feelings in your voice. There was a hidden pang of hurt, but a lot of determination and honesty. You loved your father and understood him, even if you didn't agree with his principles. You had a fair and upright nature and were able to move mountains to get things done the way you thought was right. That was a red flag for Kaz. You were a good person. And he not.

He could never promise you things that go back to a good guy. But he could promise you honesty and justice. Kaz Brekker would never take something from someone the way it was taken from him so many years ago. He was a monster. But never in the same category as Pekka.

“I have no interest in having an empire doomed to fail.” His eyes were serious. “My motivation has always been greed. Why would I sink the company that is capable of making me such a rich man?”

He would have to be an idiot to let such a lucrative business go. And Kaz Brekker was anything but an idiot.

“Would you let me do anything I want?”

“I have no interest in what you don't or do.”

You hesitated for a second, as if remembering another detail. “My father doesn't believe in divorce, and even if he did, I would be pressured to remarry. Do you understand that we couldn't divorce?”

“I have no desire to marry again. And you might as well get other men you want without making a fuss, without your father finding out.” Always rational and objective. Without any inclination to the heart's desires. “There is no room in this world for feelings. Much less in this agreement. If you fall in love with someone you will have to be content with just relating to them, not getting married. And it seems like a small price to pay for so many benefits.”

It was the perfect plan. Did you know that. It was rational, objective and cunning. Something advantageous for both without costing too much. But why did you feel that something could go very wrong? You were a romantic person and you knew you could see things where they didn't exist. The truth was, you would have to leave your heart completely out of the picture.

Just a business transaction.

Brekker seemed to see a hint of hesitation in your eyes.

“It's very simple, Ms. Y/L/N.” That voice that gave you goose bumps hovered in front of you. “You marry me and you still have your freedom, because I don't give a damn about what you do after.”

“20 million from Kruges. Rich.” his eyes gleamed with a deep glow.

“And how do I know this isn't a trick?”

“I don't promise lies.” His firm face was serious “I won't give you happiness, Y/n. Much less love. Love doesn't exist in Kerch. But I will give you freedom, independence, a comfortable life that you are accustomed. And it seems to be much more than you have now.”

You knew you could be making a deal with the devil. Selling your soul to that man with the face of a fallen angel and the aura of Lucifer. But what choice did you have?

You couldn't go back if you sealed that deal. That man would be bound whit you, even by a piece of paper, for a lifetime. Was it worth the price? You didn't care for your father's press to want to be in the management and you had a lot more money than twenty million Kruges. What would you be missing? Your chance to marry one day whit someone you came to love? But if you came home without someone one day from now your father would marry you to a gargoyle. And the way out to flee no longer seemed a viable option.

Yes, it was worth it.

Seeming to see from the glint in your eyes that you've made a decision, Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, reached out a leather-gloved hand toward you. His eyes sparkled with a mysterious spark, the scent of male cologne with a hint of danger lurking around the room. And for a moment, you felt a shiver go up your spine and the feeling that your life had just begun.

“Agree to marry me?” He said.

The feeling was that you were about to embark on the greatest adventure of your life. You didn't know what that little stunt with Kaz Brekker awaited you. But you would find out.

“Yes.” You took his hand in a firm, intense handshake that held a million secrets.

A satisfied, victorious smile came to his lips. And whenever Kaz gave him that expression, it felt like seeing the fallen angel that was the reason so many humans sinned. The clouds in the sky shifted, moving out of the moon's path and making the distilled rays of light shimmer more brightly. His black hair and white skin were graced with those bundles, and for a second his beauty was overwhelming.

You held your breath.

Brekker continued to say something, but you couldn't pay attention. Your heart began to race, the moonlight following in his footsteps as Kaz got up from his chair and went to fetch some papers from across the room. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him. His body was taller and thinner than you deduced when he was sitting down. Kaz had long, slender legs beneath black straight-cut pants, his chest was broad and his waist was narrow. For a second, you felt like running your hand over the contours of his body.

You shifted your attention forward abruptly. Focusing eyes on something else.

That was the curse of handsome men. They fooled women and made them daydream. With his underworld god beauty and mysterious aura with a touch of danger, Kaz Brekker was overwhelmingly attractive. And your blood reacted to that. Any woman would have reacted the same way.

“And we'll have to leave tomorrow morning…” he sat opposite you again.

“Sorry, what?”

You turned your attention to his words, not remembering half of what he said seconds ago. Kaz looked at you intently this time, squinting his eyes millimetrically, as if he was trying to guess which paths your mind had wandered in for the past two minutes.

“Your deadline is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?”

"Yes." You got back to the core of the problem once more. “The trip to my house takes a few hours. Half a day if it's raining.”

Kaz had his eyes on the papers in his hands, maybe they were maps or documents, but you didn't feel like craning your neck to see what it was. Leaning over to view the papers meant getting closer to Brekker, and two hours in his presence was enough for you to understand that nothing good would happen if you got any closer. Or maybe you didn't trust your own feelings and emotions.

“This will have to be done very discreetly.” He didn't look up from his papers. “If any rumors about our deal reach the wrong people, your father will hear about our plan. And that meant you will being forced to marry someone else, and me without my money. Does anyone know you're here because you planned to run away?”

You shook your head. “No. I didn't get to tell my friends. But now that the plan is different, I intend to tell a friend that…”

“You can't tell anyone.” Kaz lifted ocean blue eyes to you in an electrifying look that made you shiver.

“And what is supposed to say to my friends?” You felt a pang of indignation.

“That we are in love.”

This time, your breath was gone. The phrase was like pouring gasoline on an old, flammable woodpile. And you were afraid of what might be the match that would set off a fire.

Kaz noticed your reaction and was amused by it. “Just say some nonsense about falling in love with a criminal. It wouldn't be the first time a rich little girl has fallen in love with the bad guy, and I guarantee it won't be the last.”

“And you won't tell anyone about the truth too?” You wanted to change the focus you.

“I don't have to answer to anyone.”

This time you gave a smug smile and crossed your arms in an insolent gesture. “So everyone will think the infamous Kaz Brekker, Dirty Handes and Ketterdam's most dangerous gangster is in love with a rich little girl?”

Kaz narrowed his eyes at your teasing.

“It won't be the first time that the man with a bad temper and dangerous soul falls in love with the little girl. And I'm sure it won't be the last.” You said.

You were provocative, witty and stubborn. You would always hit at the same height and loved to show people that could very well play their game. Brekker unraveled this perfectly. You weren't the kind of woman who would be peaceful, serene, and calm. You wouldn't be like Inej. You would not take his orders and his taunts in silent, contained rage. You were intense. And that was a danger.

Why did he get the feeling you were so much more than he imagined?

“Let's go to your house tomorrow morning. Nine in the morning.” He changed the subject. “I'll go with you and we'll get married.”

"My father must be preparing everything by now." You sighed. “He takes his promises very seriously and I have no doubt that, when I returns, the ceremony scene will be set in the party garden.”

Partly you were relieved about it now. Planning a ceremony are intense and personal. You never really thought about getting married, but you always imagined that if one day it happened it would be the man of your dreams. And you didn't know if you would want to organize a fake wedding. There were certain things that were inevitable to keep the heart from breaking.

“Better yet, the faster the better.”

The two of you discussed some more details of the plan in the next few hours. It was agreed that Kaz would pick you up at nine from your hotel tomorrow, in an elegant hired carriage (which you obviously would be paying for) and the two of you would go to your house in Kerch. For all intents and for all people, the truth would be that the two of you were in love. It was such a typical cliché that it wouldn't be the least bit hard to believe.

And after a while, you two could already show yourself to the world as a couple who barely saw each other. Rich society was full of them: marriage with coldness and distance, where the man has his bets and lovers and the woman her travels and her jewelry. Your father would surely understand and leave you alone. After all, he had gotten a son-in-law to inherit his empire. A young son-in-law with blood for business who would make your father extremely satisfied. However, now the two of you had to look like a couple in love. And the reality of the situation was a secret that only the two of you would take with you to the tomb.

But, that night it was difficult for you to sleep. Anxiety, restlessness and fear gnawed at you like cunning mice, rolling you from side to side in bed, whispering in your ears millions of futures where everything could go wrong. Where not even Kaz Brekker's plans could free you from the clutches of one of your father's suitors.

When the clock struck seven in the morning, you jumped out of bed with unsettling, restless energy. You didn't like feeling helpless and waiting for Brekker to show up was exactly the definition of a princess in trouble. You had to do something.

- -

“What do you mean to get married?!” Jesper choked on his breakfast, and Nina nearly spit out all her orange juice.

Kaz rolled his eyes and continued sorting through the documents on the large round table. He was going to be gone for a few days at most and needed the people he trusted most to take care of business while he was gone. There were a lot of robberies to do and Kaz spent the night crafting and modifying plans for options where he wasn't involved. He had made a list of what needed to be checked at ports and what needed to be resupplied at Crow clube.

The plan was to marry you when they arrived in Kerch and return to Crow Club the next day. Kaz knew he would have to bring you, the two of you would have to stay together until your dowry was delivered to him. After that you could go on any adventure you wanted.

But dealing with the Crows was being more exasperating than Kaz could have expected.

"I didn't even know you had a girlfriend!" Wylan was in shock.

"Nobody knew!" Nina and Inej had their chins on the floor. Matthias was the only one who didn't seem to care so much.

"I didn't know the affairs of my private life were your business." Kaz didn't look up from the papers he kept in folders for the stupid ones.

"But you never said anything." Inej said.

"It was the intention."

"It's with Y/n, isn't it?" Jesper had bright eyes and a gleeful gambling smile stretched across his lips.

Kaz looked up at the boy with chocolate creamy skin, and his eyes narrowed slightly.

“She spent hours in yours office last night.”

"Oh my Santis!" Inej, Nina and Wylan exclaimed at once, eyes wide.

"The daughter of the richest man in Kerch." Wylan said.

"YOUR DOG!" Jesper clapped Kaz on the shoulder with an open palm, a loud laugh echoing and joy filling his voice.

Kaz suppressed the urge to look at the spot where Jesper had touched him. It had been years since he'd gotten over the most brutal aversion to touch, when the mere thought of getting close to someone made him tingle and dizzy with imminent fainting. At 28 years old, Kaz Brekker had proven to be greater than the demons and weaknesses that haunted him, wanting to see his downfall. A man who wanted to defeat Pekka could have no weaknesses. And he prided himself on almost have none of them.

However, offhand gestures made him look at the spot where he had been touched. The sensation brought was not unbearable or nauseating, but strange. And when the situation was skin to skin in a touch that caught him off guard, the feeling was unpleasant. Like a splinter under the skin.

It was easier with people Kaz felt comfortable with, but it wasn't something he cared about. He forced himself to overcome the most brutal aversion just to be a man without weaknesses, no chance of being defeated in a torture, no chance of being defeated by a faint. No for to touch someon.

“I thought you didn't know her in person when I warned you yesterday.” Inej tried to contain her little smile.

“It was the intention. You guys forgot the definition of secret…”

"Boss." One of the employees had entered that exclusive room. "There's someone here wanting to talk to you, Sir." He looked apprehensive.

Kaz frowned. The crow club had no movement at eight in the morning.

"Who is?"

"I think…"

"Will you please let me through!" The female voice sounded outside the room.

Jesper and the rest of the gang were wide-eyed, mouths opening in amusement and bewilderment. Kaz was catatonic. What the fucking hell were you doing there?!

"What do you mean I can't talk to your boss?!" And you continued. “I spoke to him yesterday...Don't give me these arguments, my dad tells his employees to tell people exactly that...I swear if you touch out about me again I will...”

"Fucking hell!" Kaz came out from behind the counter, crossing the living room and opening the door.

He came face to with that scene. A short girl who argued with a bouncer who was triple her height and size. Kaz knew the man was arrogant and macho, and had probably nudged your temper. He would have been amused by the scene if he wasn't abgry that you didn't follow his explicit rules.

“Ray.” Kaz glanced at the bouncer, a steady gaze that made the brute immediately back away from you.

You even gave the man an angry look before heading towards Kaz.

"What are you doing here?!" He whispered angrily.

"I couldn't wait." You wiggled your fingers, a tic of anxiety. “I could barely sleep. It was lucky I didn't show up at six in the morning.”

“That's not excuses. We have a schedule!"

“But I couldn't wait!" You whispered too. “It's visseral. I can't just sit there and wait!”

What an insufferable creature!

"Well, you'll have to learn because…!"

"What are you two whispering back there? “ Jesper's voice interrupted the discussion in whispers.

The two of you turned to the troupe standing in the doorway of the Crow room. Playful, mischievous smiles were plastered across their faces, and you felt your cheeks blush. Kaz and you looked at each other, and in that second of silent complicity, the two of you finally stepped into the roles of partners in crime.

Tagged: @aleksanderwh0r3 @thedelusionreaderbitch @hi-there-x @mell-bell @glowingatdawn @subjecta13-thefangirl @itsnotquimey @thatchampagnebitch @lamoursansfin @lostysworld @s3xymoonman @is-it-really-a-secret

[swordofpevensie]

We Will See (Prince Caspian x You Fic.)

requested: by @lovecatystuff​ Hi! Could you write something with Caspian and arranged marriage, when both of them didn't want it at the beginning but later he see how caring and lovely she is, please? Thank you in advance! 💜💜💜

warnings: angst, arranged marriage, the reader (you) has a terrible father, mentions of violence, implying of rape, almost violence, we defeat sexist idiots here, miraz is a jerk, slowburn. 

word count: 5005

a/n: i sincelery hope you like it caty because you are so cute and deserve to be happy. i’m so excited to share it with you! (｡♡‿♡｡)

my masterlist is not here because you know, i broke it. 

                                                      .*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

The first time you saw Caspian, you were sure that you hated him. First of all, he was so spoiled, because he was the prince of a strong empire. He was also conceited. He didn't even greet you. And you could tell he was doing his best not to look at you.

While your father and Miraz were discussing how this marriage would be and its benefits, you and Caspian just sit there. No one asked you what you thought, if you wanted to get married, if you liked each other. You felt like a worthless and pathetic animal waiting to be sold to its new owner. You wanted to cry and escape from that room, that castle and get lost. You wanted to be alone for the rest of your life because you were sick of your greedy father and sacrificing yourself for his benefits.

“My Lord,” You heard your father speaking. “I'm sure this marriage will make both of us stronger than we already are.”

Miraz nodded; there was an evil smile on his face.

“You know she will stay here,” He spoke. “Is she good and obedient? I don't want a bride who is a rebel in my castle.”

Your father had a little flashback about you. You fighting with a sword, showing up in the castle covered in mud, the time you bit a man's hand because he was trying to stop you from fighting, you yelling at your father because he didn't allow you to go outside, the time you fell into a hole with your horse while you were training.

“She is absolutely obedient, my Lord.” Your father said. You tried so hard not to smile. “She will not cause you any problems.”

Miraz looked at you; there was something in his eyes that made you so uncomfortable. But you didn't look away, answered his eyes and stared at him until he felt annoyed and turned his head.

“Then, let the preparations begin!” Miraz shouted.

Your father signified you to come with his hand. When you stood up to go, Caspian did the same.

“May I talk with you before you leave, Princess Y/N?”

You didn't ask your father for permission on purpose. He beat you and forced to you to get married no matter how hard you tried to fight back and stop him. Now, you were determined to turn his life into a ceaseless torture.

“Yes, of course.” You replied him. Honestly, you were surprised that he condescended to talk to you.

“I think it will be better if we can talk alone. Would it be okay for you to go out?”

“I'd like to go outside.”

Your father grunted angrily and intended to stop you but Miraz stopped him.

“We should let young lovers talk.”

When you were finally outside, Caspian stopped in the middle of the garden.

“Thank you for accepting my offer, Princess Y/N.” Caspian started to speak. “I know you do not want to get married with me. I totally understand that, we've just met and maybe you have someone else in your heart, or maybe you just do not like marriage.” He cleared his throat. “What I'm saying is although we both do not want this marriage; I think we should try to enjoy it. I do not expect you to love me and I can't love you suddenly but if we try to be friends, things may be easier and bearable. What do you think?”

You didn't like him, that was a fact, but his words offended you somehow. Especially when he said bearable, you felt very offended. Were you ugly or not enough for him? Were you a person who was annoying and unbearable? You didn't do anything wrong in the short time he saw you. Why did he use such words then?

“Yes, Prince Caspian, I do not want to get married to someone like you and I will do whatever it takes to stop this marriage.”

He seemed angry. “You cannot stop it now. They've already decided. We are getting married, no matter we like it or not.”

“I can stop it!” You raised your voice. “And I will!”

He rolled his eyes. “Could you stop your father when he first informed you about the marriage?”

Your answer was silence.

“That's what I thought.” He took a short breath. “I know you are angry and sad. I feel the same things. You are not the only one who is forced to marry. If we can respect each other and become friends, we can at least have a good time despite their evil intentions.”

“No,” Your voice shook. “I will stop my father. I will try harder.” When you felt your tears coming, you turned around and left Caspian there.

Caspian was sure that he hated you. Although it was the first time he saw you, he thought you were unbearable and about to turn his life into a nightmare.

                                                  .*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

 It had been a month since you and your father left Miraz's castle. During this time, you kept fighting with your father and objecting this marriage but he was determined and strong.

He punished you, made you stay in the dungeons for a week, locked you in your room and let you out only when tailors came to prepare your wedding dress.

You felt nothing but unhappiness. Sometimes you weren't even there, people talked to you but you didn't hear. You were unhappy, sad and broken because you felt like nothing, no one. You opinions weren't important, your voice wasn't heard. You didn't want this marriage because your mother and father's marriage was also arranged and your mother suffered because of your father for her whole life. You were scared to have the same fate.

However, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop your father and your wedding day came. You, your father and the maids travelled to Miraz's castle the night before the wedding.

The maids helped you get dressed, they did your hair, put some scent on your body, and you were ready to go.

Your father was with you during the ceremony. He escorted you until you arrived to the dais and Caspian held your hand.

Your dress was dark red; you noticed Caspian's cape was the same colour. He wore black trousers and boots, his shirt was also black.

You made your marriage vows but both of you kept it short and simple.

Caspian had managed to convince his uncle not to have a ball after the wedding. Miraz accepted because he didn't care about your wedding at all and he didn't want to deal with people.

When you were informed that there wouldn't be a ball last night, you were glad. You didn't want to want to dance with him and pretend to like him.

Therefore, after ceremony ended, Caspian and you went to your room. The place you would stay for the rest of your life. You hated every step you took and every single minute you walked. Caspian was holding your hand until you arrived to the room. It was a matter of form.

He opened the door and waited for you to go inside.

You were scared. What if he wanted to make... It? Would he hurt you if you said no? You had no weapon with you because your father made sure you didn't take any. You could fight with him with bare hands but what if he had a weapon? Your heart was beating so fast and your legs felt numb. You entered the room and just stood. You didn't know what to do.

But when you turned and looked at him as he closed the door, you realized he seemed nervous.

“So...” He said in a low voice. “We have to be here tonight, to make others believe in our marriage. Will you just sit and pout or would you like to talk with me? My books are there,” He pointed the right side of the room with his finger. “I mean if you like reading history.”

He was not going to hurt you. You took a short breath in relief. You felt all your muscles relaxing and that numb feeling leaving your body.

“I love history.” You replied him. You tried to sound friendly. He was right, you had to stay in the room until morning and maybe spending time with him wouldn't be so bad?

He took a step towards you, meanwhile you stepped back reflexively. He frowned.

“I know we do not know each other yet. The first thing I need you to know about me is I will never hurt you. I am not a violent person; you don't need to fear me.”

You just nodded.

“Is there anything you need me to know?”

“You should fear me.” You said and he laughed.

“Why?”

“I am an excellent fighter.” You were really proud of yourself. “There is no man I can't beat in a sword fight.”

“Oh, okay, Princess Y/N is fierce.” He had a smile on his face which made him look very friendly and warm. “Would you like to fight with me at dawn?”

“Of course.”

He extended his hand. You took and shook it. You looked at each other for a few minutes, without breaking the handshake.

“History,” You said when you realized you'd been holding his hand. “Books. Could you please show me your books?”

“Please,” He pulled the chair behind the desk for you. “Be my guest, Princess Y/N.”

You smiled as you sit.

“What do you like to read?”

“I read anything I find.” You replied. “But my favorite subjest is Narnia tales.”

He seemed suprised. “Do you know about them?”

“Of course I do. My mother used to tell me their stories. Kings and Queens of old, I am very fond of them.”

“Talking about Narnia is forbidden here.” Caspian said. “My uncle doesn't like Narnians.”

“So how do you know?”

“I have a professor. He teaches me. Wait a second.”

He turned his back to you and started to search something in his bookshelves. One wall of the room was used as a bookcase. He took a book from the back of the shelf. He brought the book and put it to the desk.

“May I sit?”

“Yes, yes please.” You moved a little when he sat to the chair next to yours.

He opened a page. “Here is one of their pictures.” He explained. His voice was confident and excited. You could tell how interested he was in Narnia. “This is High King Peter, this is King Edmund, this is Queen Susan and this is Queen Lucy.”

You nodded as you looked at the picture. “It is very beautiful.” You'd never seen their pictures before. “Do you know Mr. Tumnus?”

“No, I have never heard this name before.”

“Oh, he was an satyr and Queen Lucy's friend. They say when she first came to Narnia, Mr. Tumnus saw her and welcomed her in.”

“Who else do you know?”

And you talked about Narnia, Kings and Queens, fairytales, your favorite stories and heroes, what might have happened to Narnians. You chatted about yourselves too. Your childhood, your training stories, what you liked to do, what your favourite food was.

He wasn’t that bad, actually, he wasn’t bad at all. Communicating with him was easy, he was friendly and talkative. He smiled frequently and was always careful, never got closer to you before asking.

You thought maybe he was right after all. You were married now and neither he nor you could rise against your father or Miraz. Maybe things would be better if you started trying to be friends with him.

That's why you were nice to him whole night. You let him see the true you, the funny, nice, kind and lively you. And he liked that side of you. He hoped you'd never stop being like that because he hated to see you upset and broken. The day when you talked in the garden was a nightmare for him. You seemed so unhappy, so tired and upset and he felt the same things. The look inside your eyes broke his heart, which was already damaged.

Because when his uncle told him he'd get married, Caspian was so scared. He was too young to be married. He had dreams, wishes, and plans in his head. He was going to be a seafarer and search for Narnians. But this marriage would mean to stay inside of the kingdom and with his future wife. He hated that thought. However he still hoped his chosen wife would be someone easygoing so that even though he wouldn't love her, he could still have good time with her and try to make her happy.

That hope was destroyed by you when he tried to talk with you. He was disappointed and sure that his life would be a disaster from now on. He thought you'd make his life a torture for him.

Spending time with you, however, changed his thoughts. He realized you were nice and easygoing when you wanted to be. You were funny and very wise. Every story you told him and each new information you gave him about Narnians amazed him and he felt so glad that you knew and liked Narnia. He loved the way you told stories, with a big excitement and admiration, because he felt the same things when he talked about Narnian stories. Sharing his feelings with you made him feel so good.

You fell asleep after a while. The whole day was overwhelming and you were really tired, therefore you couldn't stop yourself.

Meanwhile Caspian was trying to find a book about astrology. When he finally found the book, he turned his face to the desk and saw you sleeping. Your arms were on the desk and you put your head on your arms. He couldn't help but smile. But then he realized he couldn't let you sleep on the desk. He put the book randomly to a shelf and approached to you silently.

“Y/N,” He told your name in a calm voice. “Princess Y/N, you should wake up.”

He tried to wake you up a few more times but you were in a deep sleep.

“Okay.” He muttered and sat next to you.

He couldn't sleep though. He sat there with you until you woke up at dawn. He read some books, thought about his day, and sometimes watched you.

He honestly felt happy because you two managed to be friends.

                                                .*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

 After three weeks had passed since the day you and Caspian got married, your public duties started. The first one was to visit the market place and observe the economic situation of the people and listen to their problems. You were really excited because you liked to talk with people and also you wanted to feel useful. Sitting inside the castle all day and spending most of your time with Caspian were getting boring.

Honestly, spending time with him was actually good. Waking up at dawn and fighting until you both were tired became your tradition. Caspian taught you how to use arrow and bow; in return, you taught him how to fight with a dagger. After fighting, you came to your room and took bath respectively. If there was any meeting, you and he participated together because Miraz demanded you to make this marriage seem believable, therefore outside of your room, you were always together. You had to hold hands sometimes but besides that, it was alright. When you spent time together in your room, you read, studied with Proffesor, just chatted together; you drew and he watched you, you watched him as he played the piano. At night, you slept in the same bed but you kept the distance.

However, all of those activities made you feel selfish because you were now the princess of Telmarines and your duty was to serve them and meet their needs.

When you finally arrived to the marketplace, you walked arm in arm. He was very thoughtful; he helped you with your dress, pulling it gently so that you didn’t step on it. He held your hand while you were getting out of your carriage.

You couldn’t tell if he was excited or not until he started talking with people. You saw that people loved him and he was very fond of them. He knew their names and he was so kind. He was very good at talking with children and he was so soft and cute with babies. He introduced you as his wife many times, which made you feel weird but somehow good.

He watched you as you talked with people. He was surprised because you were very nice to everyone. You were polite and your manners clearly showed that you cared about all of the people. Several women gave you flowers or something they cooked or baked. His eyes were on you as you ate food you were given and thanked and praised each woman. He’d seen princesses who didn’t even accept food from people. A boy wanted to give you a flower crown and you crouched down for him to put the crown on your head. Caspian found himself smiling while watching you. He realized you weren’t a person like he’d assumed. He let his prejudice form an opinion about you, which was something he shouldn’t have done. He judged you with your one and only mistake and realizing that made him feel very angry at himself.

He took a deep breath to get rid of his thoughts. He firstly needed to do his duty. Later, he could apologize to you.

You spent almost four hours in the market place, however neither of you realized how much time had passed when your driver and one of your guards (you insisted that you didn’t want them but you couldn’t stop Miraz) informed you about the time and told you it was time to leave.

Caspian and you discussed everything people told you, their problems, how to solve them, how to help people. The problem was actually very clear: They were sick of paying taxes as they knew their money was only spent for the armies of the lords who did nothing to help them.

As soon as you arrived to the castle, you went to Miraz’s room to discuss it with him. He was a strong lord and if you could get his support, others would probably listen to you.

Caspian was with you when you entered the room. He was right behind you but he was silent. He wanted you to be the one to solve this problem and win the hearts and minds of people.

However when you explain the situation to Miraz, he said ‘’No.’’ without hesitation. You were shocked because you really thought he would want to help you.

You frowned. ‘’How can you say no? They are our people, we must help them.’’

‘’Their taxes protect them.’’ Miraz looked very determined.

‘’There is no war at this moment. I think we can abate the taxes.’’

‘’Princess,’’ Miraz said in a insulting manner. ‘’You shouldn’t puzzle your brains with such problems. Go and do ordinary princess things. Comb your hair, sing, kiss your husband or whatever. This is not your business.’’

He made you angry, more than you can describe in words. You wished you could punch him but you managed to be calm somehow.

‘’My ordinary princess things are my actual responsibilities towards our people. And it is not your decision to make. It concerns all of the lords, therefore we will take it to the council.’’

‘’You will not.’’

You looked at his angry eyes with determination and stubbornness. ‘’You cannot patronize me. I have every right to discuss it with the council. Who do you think you are? The king?’’

He raised his hand against you however Caspian captured it before you or Miraz could do anything.

‘’Don’t even think about it, uncle.’’ He said in a low voice, gritting his teeth.

It was the first time you saw him angry and you could honestly say that he looked dangerous.

‘’She is right.’’ Caspian continued. ‘’We will take this to the council and you are not the king, you cannot stop me or her. The council will decide what to do.’’

He let go of Miraz’s hand but his face didn’t change.  ‘’You wanted to bring her to this castle and make her our princess. You have to respect everything she says and does because like it or not, she is our princess and I think what she is doing is amazing and very right.’’  

After hearing Caspian’s talking in that tone and manner, you understood why he was a prince and the next king. At that moment, he was not just a young and inexperienced prince, he was a strong king and he knew how to rule a kingdom, in that case, people. He was made to be king and realizing this made you feel proud of him. You also appreciated him and how he stood up for you.

‘’Come.’’ He said to you and together, you left the room. Caspian directly went to the council room and demanded a meeting.  

You explained the situation and needs of the people. Caspian supported you and made sure that everyone knew that you weren’t alone. Some of the lords didn’t want to abate the taxes while some of them supported you.

It was debated in the council for two days, you and Caspian never gave up the cause. At the end of the second day, lords announced that they agreed to abate the taxes and spend their economic sources to help and support the people. General Glozelle supported you extremely. You thought he supported you just to annoy Miraz but you were still thankful.

You and he were in your room after everything was over. You felt really tired after talking, discussing and arguing for two days but the satisfaction of beating Miraz was worth it.

‘’Princess Y/N,’’ Caspian said. ‘’I really appreciate what you achieved. My uncle doesn’t even let his wife to be a council member but you defeated him very elegantly and successfully.’’

You smiled at his compliments. ‘’Thank you,’’ You said. ‘’But I think I would lose without your help. Thank you for standing up for me and your support.’’

‘’With such a determination like yours, I think you would beat my uncle and council without me.’’

You smiled proudly. ‘’Thanks. My father says I got it from my mother.’’

‘’May I?’’ He asked as he stood up close to the bed.

‘’Yes, please.’’ You made room for him. ‘’And you don’t have ask every time. Also you can call me just Y/N. You don’t need to add princess.’’

‘’Oh, so, are you starting to like me, Y/N?’’ He asked jokingly.

‘’I thought we became friends.’’ You looked at him. ‘’Didn’t we?’’

‘’Yes, yes we did. We are friends.’’ His voice was low and he wasn’t looking at you.

‘’Is there any problem?’’ You felt worried. Had you done something wrong?

‘’No, just...’’ He breathed out as he rubbed his nasal bridge. ‘’Yes, there is a problem and you’ll hate me when I tell you.’’

‘’I won’t hate you.’’ You got closer to him. ‘’I know I was really rude to you at first but believe me, it changed. Please tell me. I’m sure we can solve the problem together.’’

‘’I tried really hard not to do this but I couldn’t stop myself. How could I? You know about Narnians, you love history as much as I do, you are an amazing fighter, you are brilliant, lovely, caring and very stubborn.’’

You were confused. Yes, you were flattered but what did his words mean?

‘’Caspian-‘’

‘’I like you. Not as a friend. As a... When I introduce you as my wife to people, I feel good.’’

You couldn’t say anything. The only thing you did was to give a short and shaky breath. You were totally shocked because you never thought he’d like you. You had been mean to him and you were distant. Honestly, you thought he hated you or didn’t like you. You assumed he was just trying to be nice and was putting up with you. But his words vanished all of your prejudices because he sounded very sincere and serious. The way he complemented you and the last thing he said... You felt good, that was for sure, but you didn’t know how you felt about him. Did you like him? You’d never considered this, maybe because you were determined not to like him or maybe because you were sure he wouldn’t like you.

‘’Caspian, I really don’t know what to say. But I don’t hate you, I never did and I never will. You’ve been so good to me, more than I deserve. You are so nice, kind, thoughtful and caring. I am really thankful to you. However I am not sure about my feelings. I never thought we would like each other.’’

He nodded silently. ‘’It’s alright.’’ He said. ‘’I don’t and can’t expect you to like me suddenly.’’

‘’It’s not because you are an unlikable person.’’ He looked at you as you continued. ‘’It’s because I was sure that you would never like me.’’

‘’So... What will happen now?’’

You smiled at him. It was a warm and sincere smile. ‘’We will see.’’

                                                    .*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

‘’I’m beginning to think you are doing magic.’’ Caspian said while he was looking at the second arrow you shot which pierced the little red circle on the target board.

You laughed. ‘’I wish I could but, no, it is the result of practicing too much.’’

He took the arrows from the board and brought them to you.

‘’You’ve improved so much. I feel very unneeded while I’m standing here.’’

‘’I think you should be proud. You are my teacher after all.’’

‘’You are a brilliant student.’’ He said, smiling. ‘’However, I think if put your leg like this,’’ He put his right leg a bit further than where yours were. ‘’It will be better.’’

You did as he told. ‘’Is it okay?’’

‘’Yes, and you should raise your arm higher.’’

You did that too.

‘’Just a little- Can I show you?’’

‘’Yes of course.’’

‘’Okay, now,’’ He took a step towards your back. ‘’Your elbow should be like this,’’ He spoke while he put his hand to your elbow and pushed it up softly. ‘’And it would be better if your arm,’’ His hand were on your arm now, his touch was so gentle. You felt that his fingertips were burning part of your skin which wasn’t covered with arm-guard.

You tried to ignore his touch and focus on what he was telling but you failed. You felt like a candle slowly melting because of the fire. You woke up to the fact that you wanted to melt. For him.

‘’Y/N,’’ You finally heard his voice. ‘’Are you alright?’’

‘’Yes, I am.’’ You took a short breath and lowered your hands and bow. ‘’I’m sorry, I just...’’ You turned your head back and looked at his face. ‘’Can I ask you something?’’

‘’You can.’’

He looked very worried and you loved it. He was very caring during all this time you spent together. He was also so thoughtful. Whenever you frowned a little, he immediately asked if you were okay. He always made sure that there was water on your night table. He always helped you when your dress caused you problems.

‘’Do you still like me, Caspian?’’ You asked very nervously.

He licked his lips before talking. ‘’Yes, I do. More and more day by day, actually.’’

You smiled when you heard his answer. ‘’Then, I have some news for you.’’

He raised his eyebrows, there was a little smile on his face. ‘’I am listening very carefully.’’

‘’Prince Caspian,’’ You said and took a deep breath. ‘’I think I like you.’’

His smile got bigger and bigger and you heard him laughing. ‘’Really?’’

You nodded. You were smiling too. Saying your feelings out and loud made you feel very relaxed, as if a heavy burden was taken off your chest.

‘’How?’’ He asked.

‘’Am I supposed to give you an alphabetic list?’’ You shrugged your shoulders. ‘’It just happened but I think it was inevitable.’’

His dark brown eyes were shining. ‘’It feels like I am in a dream.’’

‘’Does it mean you dream about me?’’ You asked jokingly.

You realized he was taking you into your arms. You let him because you needed to be in his arms, feel his touch and body heat.

‘’Sometimes.’’ He said. ‘’Don’t you?’’

‘’Sometimes.’’ You copied him. It made him laugh.

‘’Can I kiss you right now, Princess Y/N?’’

‘’Yes, yes you can, Prince Caspian.’’

You dropped the bow when his lips touched yours. All of your muscles relaxed, you felt like you would fall to the ground but thankfully his hands were on your waist, holding you tight.

His lips were soft, his kiss was passionate. You could almost taste his desire and you absolutely loved it. Being loved and wanted by him felt like you were over the moon.

He was the one to break the kiss and look at your face very carefully. He liked it when he saw your red lips.

He was looking at you carefully, as if he was trying to understand whether you were real or not. You noticed that he really couldn’t believe you liked him.

‘’I like you.’’ You needed to say it again so that he could believe.

He took your hands into his and brought them closer to his lips, then kissed your hands. You bit your lower lip, it was your soft spot.

‘’I like you too, so much.’’ He managed to say before you grabbed his face and kissed him.

[asnowperson]

But are you reading Shoukoku no Altair?

As the nerd who spends way too much time while translating Yume no Shizuku, Kin no Torikago, I wanted to make a post on my first "Ottoman" manga: Shoukoku no Altair.

Left: A real-life Mahmut (Ottoman Sultan, Mahmut II). Right: Japanese Mahmut. I know that Altair has nothing to with his time period, but I can't help but think about Mahmut II everytime I hear the name "Mahmut". He's such a boss. So in my mind, a Mahmut can never be as bishounen as Tughril Mahmut.

I first saw that manga in the dark corners of LiveJournal years ago, at a time when there weren't even scanlations. And I LOVED the art. But back then, due to the lack of scans and because I couldn't even read the Japanese title, I forgot about it for years. Yes, I do have a very bad memory.

Fast forward to 2017, Shoukoku no Altair got an anime adaptation. And when was I going to start reading this Ottoman-inspired manga if not now? Like I did with DoD, I expected it to be an orientalist trainwreck. But little did I know that Katou Kotono had a degree in history and the more I got into Altair, the more I would be crying about how ignorant I was. I quickly caught up with the story. And boy, did I love it! (The anime adaptation doesn't do this manga justice. And I'm still mad that they skipped an entire sea battle.)

Published SnA volumes, minus the latest vol. 24, and the fanbook. Japan should bring SAL back already, I want to be able to buy my mangos without developing shipping strategies.

Warning for DoD fans, this is a full shounen manga. There is no shoujo romance to see here (I'm still mad at the editors for forcing that dancer girl in the story in the earlier volumes because a shounen manga had to have a female love interest. I'm glad we didn't get to see her again and if anything, not-Vlad the Impaler's cute daughter would make a better waifu for a pasha like Mahmut). It's about the wars between the not-Ottomans and the not-Holy Roman Empire, complete with some Italian city-state drama. It only has battles, politics and keikakus. Huge armies maneuver in battle, alliances are made and broken, heads fly, armies clash, cities are besieged, we peek at the logistics behind huge armies, and civil war and coup d'états can happen any moment! If you are in DoD for politics, I'm sure you will love Altair because it actually delivers in that department.

My little pasha can't be this smug. Vol. 20, and vol. 9's cover from the Milkazzar Altair art book (2014). Those volume covers have me screaming.

Unlike DoD, Altair is not a fully historical manga, so it's not based on real events nor there's a set time frame for it. But looking at the story elements, we can say that it's set somewhere around the second half of the 15th century. So it's somewhat close to DoD's time frame if we squeeze hard enough. I also think Burak Paşa, the "sultan" in Altair, kind of resembles to an old Suleiman I.

Every little detail in Altair is just chef's kiss! Katou-sensei has a vast knowledge of military tactics and uses it in every chapter of Altair. And huge kudos to Sense Scans and their translator, murakumo, who did a perfect job. Turkish written in kana hurts my brain, and I always check their scans before going "naruhodo!". Go check their Altair blog, it's awesome and has lots of info on the manga and you can find pretty manga artwork there. And after thanking them, go buy the manga in a language you can read, it's very likely licensed in yours.

Now my little inner fangirl will speak: Altair has the finest men and boys. You can't find this many bishounen even in 70s shoujo manga. Even if you don't care about all those battle tactics, you might care about all the bishies! Anyway have this very soft Bayezid to prove my point <3

Can you believe that this is the face of a murderer?

Let me also talk about the art in Shoukoku no Altair: It's gorgeous! That's all I can say. I legit spend minutes looking at the outfits and the accesories. Katou herself said that she was inspired by Turkish jewelry and created Altair. Check this Mahmut swag out:

Vol. 3's cover, scanned from the 2017 art book. I wish I knew how to process my images so that I could do sensei justice.

Shoukoku no Altair is licensed in English by Kodansha, and they are almost up-to-date with Japanese releases. Honestly the best timeline for reading Altair. Go read Altair while waiting for new DoD chapters.

[aotopmha]

Attack on Titan in 2020

I've sort of dropped doing detailed chapter posts on the series because that type of writing wasn't very fun for me anymore and I have taken a liking to a bullet point kind of approach where I list the elements that stood out for me in the chapter or make a separate post for some specific topic I'd like to talk about in it.

I've started like 10 different posts to attempt to talk about AoT this year and I always end up with incoherent rambling because of all of the elements I'd love to to talk about.

This year's chapters were 125-135 and this year's episodes episodes 1-4 of season 4.

The anime episodes in particular have given me a lot of food for thought, so I'm just saying fuck it.

I think the biggest misstep of the story for me will forever be the fact that it decided to use fairly specific historical imagery.

The Eldians are clearly supposed to have allegorical equivalency with Jewish people, but the Jewish people were never the oppressors. There weren't any Jewish empires. That's conspiracy theory bullshit.

But on the other hand, the series clearly takes great effort to not stereotype any of the groups it's portraying and gives complex reasons for what both sides do. It's one of the few Japanese series that I've seen not stereotype Middle Eastern-coded people (Ramzi and Halil) or black people (Onyakapon). Everyone are people, it says. It even champions diversity:

(Chapter 118)

It is also very much true that a bunch of fascist states use long-term history as an excuse for their actions:

(Chapter 127)

Nation did X 2000 years ago therefore our conquest of them is justified.

This makes discussion about the series' themes like a minefield.

The people who are very critical about its imagery are right, but the people defending the series aren't wrong, either because it condemns all of those nasty ideas of conquest and hurting innocent people.

You can't have a more clear-cut condemnation of genocide:

(Chapter 127)

If you combine all of these details instead of zoning in on them one by one, to me what the story is saying is that *even if* all of that conspiracy bullshit is true, innocent people don't deserve to be slaughtered no matter the reason because they are still people who have their own feelings, thoughts and wishes.

The story clearly gets the baseline, but fumbles the details. I decided to look up some more discussion surrounding this these past few days and I just wish there was more good faith discussion about it. A lot of it feels like a moral superiority contest.

I think it's these kind of flawed stories that actually deserve detailed scruitiny over stories that are rotten to the core because they are *almost there*. Talking about them is a good topic starter in what to do and not to do in a story like this.

Speaking of rotten to the core, I think the absolute highlight of the chapters this year is Eren and some of the chapters this year finally gave me a pretty clear picture of what is going on with him.

Context from 123 certainly helps, though:

(Chapter 131)

This is about Eren's perspective. He can't accept the destruction of Paradis.

It's not that this solution was inevitable looking in from the outside (which is one of the interpretations I see around for Eren's actions), it's that *Eren* can't see any other way out of this except the most extreme because of all of the horrible things he has seen from the outside world. It is very similar to the way suicidal people can only focus on the negative.

You can tell them everything is going to be okay, but those words won't reach them because their mind won't let them and loops them back to those negative thoughts.

Eren can't see the ice cream or silly clowns. But he can see how the other Eldians in the league of Eldians are willing to push Paradis under the bus. He can see how Grisha's sister was killed. He can see how racist and cruel Marley is towards the Eldians in Liberio (and how the people have racist leanings towards other nations, too).

He can only see those bad things. But he also understands how everyone outside of the walls are human just as the people inside of the walls are.

So he is torn to pieces by guilt.

He doesn't want to do this, but he can't see any other solution.

This is why I also think he can't rob his friends of their agency. He is fighting for them to have a good future:

(Chapter 133)

(Chapter 131)

What really stood out to me on a revisit is that Eren considers himself much worse than Reiner.

I've seen criticism on how the story pushes the narrative of both sides being the same and this detail is really important to me because this is the story acknowledging that what Eren is doing is worse and gives all of the following exchanges about this the context of it being a similarity in principle.

Both sides have killed for what they think is right and have to deal with how they have killed people. This is such an important detail in the Uprising arc, too, where Erwin firmly acknowledged that overthrowing the government might not actually be the right choice by him. It was simply what he saw as right. On a narrative level this avoids absolute truths and preference of one character perspective over the other and once again makes it about individual perspectives.

The theme of individual perspectives is so ingrained in this story at this point in my eyes that it's another cornerstone in understanding what is going on with Eren to me.

I think it's great.

I also really appreciate Annie and what was done with her in this chunk of chapters.

(Chapter 127)

There has been this narrative going around that proposes that the story is in Eren's corner too much. But these chapters are nothing but questioning Eren and Annie is one of the main voices in this. It's the Marleyan girls, really and I think this is a very necessary part of making the narrative work. Once again, it separates the narrative and character perspective.

It says that the Paradis side caring is about character perspective, not what the narrative sides with and Annie is even sympathetic to Mikasa in that instance.

She gets it. Unexpectedly, I think Annie might play a bigger role in taking down Eren than expected. Her character arc about deciding to no longer go with the flow because she doesn't want any more tragedy to happen is basically calling for it.

(Chapter 128)

Another element I've seen brought up is the fact that nobody seems to address the Bert-sized elephant in the room, but some of our characters are certainly thinking about him.

This is such a thematically strong element and really interesting because Connie joined the military to make his mom proud and be a good soldier. This is the motivation behind his claim when he says they are going to save the world. But what does becoming a good soldier mean, exactly?

Well, apparently possibly gunning down people you care about.

This moment is so good because it's another moment where the idea of glory in war is taken down a peg.

The moment with Connie declaring they're going to save the world is so often criticised, but it is actually turned on its head in 128. There is no heroics in this. This is actually Connie's big "killing a person" moment because it strips away the final bit of comfort in killing in war, the excuse of killing for good moral reasons.

It is also a wonderful complex evolution of the series' themes. Trost was about fighting monsters. In the Female Titan and Clash of Titan arcs some of those monsters turned out to be human. In the Uprising, Return to Shiganshina and Marley arcs all of those monsters turned out to be human and here in the War of Paradis arc, everyone is human and the only separating system is what everyone views as right.

I really hope the anime will let this chapter breathe a little bit more.

Moving on, I guess it is time to address the rumbling.

I love it as a horror spectacle.

(Chapter 130)

And I really I think it needs to be non-CG when animated. CG is fine in spectacle battles, but not in horror settings because it is too clean.

The rumbling needs to be disgusting and dirty.

Chapter 132 gave me one of the few moments in which I truly cared about Levi. I think him telling Hange to dedicate her heart was a very good moment to cap off their relationship. He sent another SL commander to fulfill their duty.

The speech about hatred in chapter 134 also stood out to me. I think it definitely should be fitted in there somewhere in this, but I also see a bunch of criticism for it.

I want to point out that this is the side of present Marley talking here. It's the military dictatorship.

It's the Nazis. I think the Nazis should feel regret for exploiting innocent people and admit they're wrong.

I also like how the horrors here are undoing the brainwashing and showing the truth to the citizens.

I guess you could read it as heavy-handed, but it is also something that needs to be addressed and in principle, it's not wrong.

I'm also going to put a mention of Historia here. I've talked about how this is my biggest and most glaring problem with the series because of how thematically unfitting it feels, but I've also talked about it in many posts. I wanted to focus more on other stuff in this post.

So now, we make it back to chapter 135.

I think having stewed on it for a month now, I like the element of mindscrewing our cast with the Titans of the people they love is the strongest element of it. It's making them face their personal traumas and we also get some great character moments and payoffs from it.

Mikasa ended off the year in a very good note in my eyes.

Even this deep in the story, this chapter left me in a situation where I have no idea how things might turn out.

I might have rough ideas, but not anything specific and that's fun.

Well, this is it on my retrospective.

2021 is confirmed to be AoT's final year of publication as volume 34 is set to be the story's final volume.

Those who hate the story can finally be free of it and those who care for it, can look back on it with fondness and sadness and many other emotions and evaluate.

It's been 7 years for me. What a wild ride.

So, I'm asking everyone, what are some of your observations on AoT in 2020?

Is there anything you'd like to add or do you have any observations or counterarguments for anything I've said?

I'd be curious to see what everyone else thought of AoT in 2020!

[idjitlili]

No longer the Seth Rogen to my James Franco.

Obi-wan x senator!reader.

Summary: Imagine having to deny your feelings for the Jedi master and him denying his too, until another person tries to court you. Kenobi fears it is too late for him.

Warnings: Angst, fluff. Oh, sorry low-key some Bi aspects,only brief.

Requested by anon and @ahsokatanolovebot

A/n: Queen of Galadriel, Is made up, based on Gaga , and low-key Cate blanchett. Galadriel is not in Star Wars but, yeah.

Word count:1.7k

Knowing Obi-wan for most of your life made living out life difficult. Him being a Jedi and you being a senator; you didn't see him too often.  However, since the Jedi council was so involved with politics it was not impossible or unlucky.  Especially multiple times he had been assigned to watch over you or protect you from threats.

Knowing Kenobi for so long was inevitably going to lead to feelings. When did he not flirt? He'd flirt with anyone , if a glass of water was conscious he'd flirt with it. It was like he was programmed like it, maybe he was just horny from being a Jedi... They say no attachments but that doesn't mean no hookups? Doesn't matter Obi-wan never did that not that he had mentioned. You were sure he'd tell you, yeah you weren't around each other often did not mean you weren't close.

It didn't matter how hard you tried to escape your feelings, nothing worked, you couldn't exactly tell Obi-wan to bugger off. You'd be dead, he had many times saved your life,. As well as he did not deserve you pushing him away when he was nothing but a sweetheart.

Nothing between the two of you could ever happen, you knew him too well. He'd never give up being a Jedi...for you. You'd have to except that, no matter how much you loved him.

Though, there times , sorry pretty much all the time, when you felt like it wasn't just you, there was something between you two. Whether that was him just being flirty or just a really good friendship. No, no. , could not be love no way.

'We could be loversss."

"What d'you say?"

"We could be lovers, y/n."

"Stop it , Ben. Don't do this to me. What do you want me to say, you will be king?"

His lips inches from yours, his breath against your cheek. "And you, you will be queen."

"You're lying, I better not stay."

It was like he'd only want to flirt with you like he was the forbidden fruit.  You didn't know, how you'd hurt Obi-wan too. Other times, it would be you flirting him with him or both of you flirting back and forth. Depending on situations/moods.

"Obi-wan shh, my advisor is coming."  Your bodies pressed each  other in the small closet in your office,  The closet so small, Obi-wans face was pressed against the B crook of your neck as  he tried not to laugh. Your arms throw around his neck.  His lips tickling the nerves in the tissue of your neck, you had meant to twitch.

Oh, he already knew you were ticklish, you had just refreshed his memory, a smirk upon his face as his finger tips travelled up your body slowly.

"B-Ben!"

To say the least your advisor soon left the room, to give you privacy, she just didn't know Obi-wan. Take you in an office? He could never , it would have to be a pirate ship or something, if he ever did or if you ever wanted to do that task. However, tickling you in your office absolutely. 

After years of not knowing his true feelings, you tried to get back into work again. Well, until you met someone new. She was this lady that was well respected in her home world, that had travelled to Corellia where you were senator.  In fact she wasn't just well respected but she was the Queen.  She had travelled far to meet you, claiming she admired your work.

To say the least when you met her you stunned, this woman was stunning. She looked exactly like Lady gaga, which the hair she had none, yet a crown rested against her head. She radiated dominance. Instead of dresses and jewels  as you might expect for a Queen. Her body was laced with armour , her glove though was covered with diamonds and at the end of her pointer finger there was a knife type thing.

She was a very beautiful woman, you were shocked at her behaviour at dinner, she was flirting with you. More than Obi-wan.

"Now Senator y/l/n, I must know is there anyone in your life at the moment?" The simple strokes of her fingers on the table cloth, leaning back causally waiting for your response.

"Oh, uhm, no one and please just y/n." A nod of her head, as she watched you become a little nervous.

"Very well, but you seem unsure."

"I was there was someone, they cannot be with me even if they did want to, it's against their culture."

"Oh, that's very unfortunate for such a beautiful woman." You had turned from your food to look behind you before turning back to the woman.

" Oh-I, sorry , I thought you were looking in the mirror."

After that there were a few more dinners, each more she was more forward to flirt. By the last one you knew she was not just doing it for no reason she had an intention. From then on you'd receive flowers, food, clothing, you name it. You knew she was offering a courtship, but you didn't know whether to accept.

Rowena was really a gorgeous woman and presented her feelings freely. It was just not the same, not like Obi-wan, he had never showed any sign that he would give up being a Jedi for you, at least Rowena actually liked you. You could not shake Obi-wan.

The last thing you expected was Obi-wan's appearance, when you were packing supplies for another planet on lockdown via the empire, alongside Rowena's help. Unlike most Queens Rowena was hands on , and cared deeply for all living things.

"Y/n?" You had thought the voice had been in your head, you felt like he would not bugger off lately, way he using Jedi minds tricks on you? So, you'd be in love with forever. The slight jab in the side from Rowena confirmed you weren't the only one who heard.

Turning around on the balls of your feet, face to face with Obi-wan, a tired Obi-wan. His body slightly hunched , bags under his eyes-don't fall for it.

"Obi-wan you're back." Rowena had turned to look at the man too, noticing your face, your tone , this was the man you spoke of. Her eyes catching Obi-wan his eyes scanning her briefly before looking back to you.

"Oh! Sorry, Obi-wan this is Rowena-The Queen of Galadriel, w-we ar-"

"Friends, unless you choose to accept, Y/n. Nice meeting you...Kenobi." With that she had left you with Obi-wan not before pressing a kiss to your cheek. You hadn't know what she had been planning, she knew you were hopelessly in love with Obi-wan even if she did habour feelings for you, she was going to help you.

"Accept what?" He had gotten closer, his heart was in his stomach, that was not friendly behaviour , he knew it, her longing stares on you, they way she said his name, gave him chills.

"Her courtship."

"O-oh, I am happy for you. I am just here for a week, to help." His eyes avoid yours, as he left, he wasn't happy. In fact, you had left heading to your room, your eyes heavy again, you were right he didn't like you.

Your pda with the Queen became more frequent, well it was just holding hands, laughing and the occasional hug. Every time Obi-was saw his heart felt like it was going to explode , he had never felt such jealousy, heartbreak, anger. He couldn't stand it no longer , he hadn't been there three days, you hadn't accepted the courtship let.

However, he feared it was too late. He couldn't stand it no longer, he was going to go back , see Anakin shove himself back into work. That did not happen simply because Asajj Ventress had turned up with a bunch of droids to prevent any supplies to be sent out.

That exact moment you had been walking with a smoothie in your hand. Jumping out of your skin, and thrown the smoothie all over Ventress. She did not appreciate that, so you were captured. Obi-wan had heard a commotion and that was it, he followed the sound of... talking...no fighting but with flirtatious remarks. Oh no! The disgrace.

He had decided he had enough and hid behind walls, droids, lampposts whatever he could. To say the least he had not expected to come across Rowena fight Ventress, wait was this an enemies to lovers , oh it is.. what was angry flirting quickly turning into them kissing, as Rowena gestured for Obi-wan to come out and help you.

Pulled to your feet, your restrains removed as all the droids were destroyed, Rowena had turned her head back to you, grinning. Her elbow locked with Ventress' it was clear she had forgotten or had lost interest in her mission, now in the company with a Queen leaving you with Obi-wan. 

Your eyes meeting his, his hands still holding yours from helping you up, his eyes drowning, his face tired. Your skins touching warmth spreading through your body like blood, his callousness fingers gripping yours.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I cannot watch you be with someone else; when I-I l-love you."

"I cannot be with someone else; I love you."

Okay, so you were almost Queen, Obi-wan was almost right about that, it wasn’t long after that moment the temple was destroyed and you and Obi-wan ended up in Tatooine, forever. Well, not forever...

[shyrose57]

Yooo!! Other anon, you bring up such an interesting dynamic which is everyone else getting to work with a corrupted Tubbo!! We technically saw a little bit of that with corrupted Grian in Your Eyes Betray the Change - mostly Scar, Tommy, and Tubbo working with him, in a little bit different circumstances. But once Tubbo got fully corrupted, it was just him vs. the world. And now in Your Eyes Are Flashing All Again, Tubbo's been playing all sides and hiding his true face from everyone but Grian, who was on the same page.

But! The idea of everyone else working with Tubbo, who doesn't have the same relentless drive to win at all costs - not after the revelation Scott brought about - but also doesn't feel like he has a real connection to anyone here but Grian. All of Tubbo's ruthless, whip-sharp cleverness with none of the softness of his usual warmth, aimed directly at beating back the corruption and getting Grian back on his side again. And for everyone else, it's so disquieting to resolve this Tubbo, the one who says he's on their side but also says he doesn't regret the wither betrayal, with all the other sides of him they've seen throughout both the AUs, from back on Dream SMP to his corrupted versions, and decide whether or not they can trust him now, and what they can even do with him if they don't. (Hope you don't mind I kinda ran with it, anon, I can not if you'd prefer. :) )

Man, it really would be brutal. Everyone would have to regroup afterwards, all a mess of shock and betrayal and hurt and anger, to figure what exactly just happened. Just slowly putting the pieces together, everyone admitting that they'd seen something a little bit off but didn't want to bring it up. Questioning if all the "help" Grian and Tubbo offered, all the work they'd put in to getting them all out, was real at all. And how on earth they move forward from this.

Oh, and you're so right!! The outsiders' POV would be so interesting! Even to those who knew more about what happened in 3rd Life, this was clearly a whole other ballgame - the physical changes alone prove that, not to mention the air of anxiety about them all, constantly poised for a fight. Imagine Foolish, too?? Eret and Puffy both went into 3rd Life to help Tommy and Tubbo in Foolish's stead, and they all made it out okay - only for all four of them to vanish again, coming back with another bout of amnesia under their belts and permanently changed. He'd have so much to adjust to, in terms of relearning how to be there for them. The Wither Rose alliance would have such an odd time, Gem knowing the most about what happened from Hermit meetings, but still aware that the heads of most of the kingdoms have a particular bond they're just not privy to. Oof, and Scott's new ice powers on Empires would definitely not play well with hypervigilance and anxiety.

It's!! The Boo!! He's just full of care for his friends and wanting them all to be okay!!

Hmm, I'd think Spring or Summer for Grian, maybe? Spring feels like Grian's particular brand of tricks and chaos, but he also seems intense enough for Summer, haha. There are tons of stories I know of humans who are tricked into joining courts, say, or fae who are bound to courts, so I can totally imagine Grian filling his Court with pawns! Or, at the very least, inviting folks to join the Court with some ulterior motives. Ooo, I love the Court rivalry. Oh, especially taking his partnership with Tubbo into account? Either Grian has a smaller, secret Court of just him and Tubbo that takes priority, and because of it he cares less about the main Court, or, it's telling that Grian's one true alliance on the server is unrelated to his Courts altogether. Maybe he doesn't quite take to faehood as naturally as Lizzie does, for one reason or another?

Hmmm... I think it depends on when Tommy goes Boogey, and what we want to achieve with it? Off the top of my head, for redirect folks, I think of Impulse, as one of Grian's strongest canon allies, Ranboo or Lizzie, noticing Tommy's gone Boogey and trying to prevent him from permakilling, or maybe even Tubbo, trying to redirect him to protect Grian? I'm trying to think of when Tommy might go Boogey, because the idea did come to mind of Tommy nearly cornering and permakilling somebody, either Grian or whoever diverted Tommy's attention, and then everyone gets their memories back and Tommy realizes what he was about to do. 👀 Though, I don't know if Boogey amnesia applies even after everyone gets their memories back? And that would mean Tommy would have to kill someone fully aware of it to not go red, which would be a whole other ordeal.

Oooo, parallel lives and parallel memories to deal with. <3 Especially for folks like Ranboo and Lizzie, who remember each other from their Other lives but don't know each other as well in the real world? It still feels like them, but. It's so tangibly different. The layers they all have to work through together!!

Oh, that's a very good point! It's a bit of an unintentional parallel, isn't it?

And they must be so wary too! And it's probably so frustrating for both sides! Because they know it's justified, but Tubbo's still their friend(at least, he will be, once they fix this all again), and for Tubbo, well. That lack of trust has to cause some problems here and there, and honestly, with as determined as he is to get things done, there's gonna be some sort of clash.

Present!Tubbo compared to his past selves is so very interesting actually, especially through the eyes of others.

And then there's Grian's end, which, like?? He's got the same care for Tubbo that Tubbo has for him-the only thing that's changed is that Tubbo's been forced to acknowledge something that Grian's hasn't. Grian's perspective on it all? Tubbo apparently betraying him, but still clearly caring for him? Very fun.

Oh, the aftermath of the betrayal!! Everyone putting together their own little shards to paint a devastating picture-one so clear, it must leave them all wondering 'why didn't we see it sooner?'. Or perhaps 'why didn't we do anything sooner?'. How much of the help was genuine is a very good question. So much of what these two do is calculated.

Foolish is such a good one!! He’s got a good connection to the people from his side of things, especially Eret and Puffy! Outsider is a good way to explore things that even our little cast may not have noticed themselves, so it’ll be interesting how he learns to navigate with them all over again, and how much of it may apply to him.

If Scott was a force to be reckoned with before, he’s sure something now! But he’s legit one of the ones who perhaps had the most interesting shifts? Like, I don’t think we’ve actually established much for him, but I like to think he’s become something more short-lived than an elf, and going back to that has to be such an interesting transition-especially since he has a bit of an outsider’s perspective himself to the mindset, after being teamed with Pearl. Also, vice versa, with Pearl now understanding Scott a bit more, which is cool. 

He is!!!

That is very true! It’s hard to decide, because they both kinda seem like they work. Though I suppose I’m leaning towards Summer-if we’re going for traditional Courts, then perhaps the Shadow Court would be one of the Unseelie Courts rebranded, or perhaps a previous subset of them. I don’t feel like Grian would trick them-or, at least not openly. Not much is known about the fae, with so few of them nowadays, I suppose it wouldn’t be too hard for him to bring them into his Court and them not even notice. Would they start to gain traits similarly to how Ren has? Or would it be different because the intentions were? If they did, how would those traits change or be effected when they left for Lizzie instead, if they are at all?

Tubbo being part of a secret court would be so interesting, especially in the wake of his betrayal, but also, like, you’re very right?? Grian’s one true alliance not having anything to do with the Courts would be also really neat! Either way, perhaps he views Tubbo differently from them. Everyone else is a tool, and Tubbo is a friend. 

Those are all so interesting?? We can have Impulse, as a previous part of Tommy’s alliance trying to stop him, Ranboo and Lizzie trying to keep him from doing something he’ll regret, and Tubbo trying to protect the one thing he cares about. Tommy getting cured of the Bogey curse right before everyone gets their memories back is also very good, and I imagine fairly shocking and distracting for him. Like!! He was really about to kill someone, genuinely!! That can’t feel good!

Oh, to remember centuries together that never happened, knowing things about each other that you don’t ever actually remember learning, instinctively covering each other’s back, trusting each other without hesitation, over a life imposed over your own. Endermen hybrid Ranboo and Ocean Empress Lizzie, trying to figure out a middle ground because it still feels Wrong, not to be in each other’s immediate vicinity without reason, but they also literally can’t now.

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Plastic Beach

mAh, nostalgia. This album was my high school years. I got a digital copy for my birthday from my mom and became obsessed with this album well into college. The dominance of electronica, the use of people with great voices, the expansion of the lore, Lou Reed...this album was all of music when I got it. It's my favorite Gorillaz album and it looks like it's gonna stay that way for a while. But how is it on a not even approaching semi-objective level? Let's find out.

1. Orchestral Intro

You can probably guess it by my awful taste but I'm not really into orchestra. This opening though, with the sound of waves and the mourning instruments, really tipped me off that I was in for something different. This album wasn't going to start off with something chill or even a zombie movie clip. No, at this point, Gorillaz were officially done fucking around.

10/10

2. Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach

Then we get the brass leading us into a good beat and then HOLY SHIT, SNOOP DOGG?! He leads us in like a bandleader while a chorus of women back him up Just Like That while he goes with his usual flow. He adds the needed touch of instant cool to an album that's practically frozen with the artists already on it and with this song, it feels like you're walking past the gate into Disneyland.

9/10

3. White Flag

Some nice Arabian sounding instruments on this one. Pretty cool for Gorillaz to keep engaging in world music. Anyway, this was a really cool instrumental but it's time to move on to the other son---

Huh?

Suddenly, we get beeps and mixes backing up Bashy and Kano as they kick so much ass talking about pacifism for the sake of survival. This song kicks an undisputed amount of ass and it barely even tries.

9/10

4. Rhinestone Eyes

What I like about this song is that I keep finding new things to like about it as the years go back. First, I liked the weirdly-threatening nature of the song along with the woman moaning in time with the verses. Then I liked the video (even though it was insanely shady of EMI to release that without Damon's and Jamie's permission and it ended up being the thing that led to Phase 3's premature ending and Gorillaz going on hiatus). Then I liked the continuation of the moaning that I first noticed in live performances then finally heard in the song itself. This song is like Rolexes falling from the sky.

10/10

5. Stylo

Ah, the first single from the album. I remember telling my dad about this when I first saw the video for it. I was about to write off Gorillaz as a relic of my past before I saw Murdoc and 2D get run off the road by Bruce Willis. This song has an awesome bridge by Yasiin Bey, nice crooning by Damon Albarn and incredible back-up by Bobby Womack, who manages to lift the entire song over his head using just his voice. Damn, wish he had another song that put his voice on full display. Maybe later in the album...

10/10

6. Superfast Jellyfish

Yeah, De La Soul is back! And they're singing about TV dinners! Seriously, these guys can make guessing crossword actually fun instead of a dredging experience and have Shiny Toy Guns frontman Chad Petree singing about radioactive seas brings the whole thing home. It makes you want to really go out and eat a random jellyfish but don't do that. It'll hurt.

11/10

7. Empire Ants

Okay, before I give this song its totally fair score, it should be noted this is my third favorite song of all time. I love Damon's reassuring lyrics in the beginning but the switch in the middle to a more upbeat electronic pop tune pushes this song past perfect.

Then there's Little Dragon...

This song introduced to me to Yukimi Nagano's voice and wow...I didn't think humans could sound like that, let alone an Asian woman singing soul. If you think the instruments are carrying her here, obviously there are clearly no other songs on the album that showcase her talents so I have to recommend After The Rain, Twice and Constant Surprises by Little Dragon. Seriously, this woman's voice will water your fucking crops.

500/10

8. Glitter Freeze

Where is north from here? Don't ask me, I'm not a compass. Anyway, this song has Mark E. Smith from The Fall and they use him to his fullest extent...by which I mean letting him make an absolutely evil fucking laugh somewhere near the end. The instrumentation makes it feel like you're in a storm on a shaky ship and you're definitely going to feel like you need some pills after you're finished. This stuff will put hair on your chest.

11/10

9. Some Kind of Nature

This song introduced me to Lou Reed and I'm grateful to it for that. Lou was a shitty dude but damn his voice really made things better than they should have been. Fuck, I was one of the eight defenders of Lulu for this reason. But Damon doesn't sit with his thumbs up his ass on this song. He holds his own and makes the chorus sound legitimately dreamlike. All we are is stars, indeed.

100/10

10. On Melancholy Hill

This song is awesome to chill to...unless you're escaping a cruise ship while being gunned down by fighter jets. But other than that particular example, I recommend this song for anyone trying to relax while thinking of someone special. But be careful with the last note of this song. That gong can be a real eye opener.

9/10

11. Broken

Bummer of a song but if there's one song you absolutely NEED to learn on melodica, it's this one. Aren't we all broken? Well I am. And this song speaks to me.

10/10

12. Sweepstakes

Yasiin's back and there's gonna be trouble. He plays a carny in this track and you know that no matter how many times you listen to this song, you'll always gonna fall for his schemes. He's gone on to say that this is one of his finest achievements as a MC and I can see why.

10/10

13. Plastic Beach

Holy shit, they got the 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover guy on this track. Makes since because this, outside of Empire Ants, is my favorite song on the album. The harmony, the little imp they got for the bridge, the triangle...everything makes this song better than it has any right to be on an already awesome album. Damn, plastico indeed.

200/10

14. To Binge

Shock of all shocks, Yukimi's back! And it's a duet with Damon! And it's a song about a relationship torn apart by addiction! It's not my birthday so it must be Christmas. These two manage to drown the listen in waves of audio goodness that leaves them feeling like they spent 3 minutes and 56 seconds standing under a waterfall.

20/10

15. Cloud of Unknowing

Okay, I cried to this song. And now, with Bobby Womack's passing, I cry even harder. This song should be an anime ending with how solemn it is but you need to listen to the end to hear, "It may bring sunshine on its wings." Also, Damon covered this song live after Womack's passing. I suggest you look it up because it is tear-ripping.

50/10

16. Pirate Jet

Eh. Pretty average song compared to the others on the album but I appreciate the message. Sweet Lord, people. Turn off your shit when you're not using it. We only got one planet and I don't trust Elon Musk.

8/10

Album Score: 60.1/10

Whoo! No biases! Anyway, next week is The Fall, otherwise known as the album Albarn did on his Ipad. Otherotherwise known as the album a significant portion of the fandom has a hate-on for. Does it deserve the hate? We'll find out!

[the-firebird69]

we have reason to believe he is messed wiht. yeh ok. tons owe him money nobody pays. the feds pay ss and it is an entitlement. we see they are threateinging him all the time. tons see why now and come here. and to stop them they are at all the sites and dug in they are not.

-they brought the food stuffs he forgot on the bus great good work. and learned this. john r had the busses moved to port charlotte. and forced bja there. and he lost today. twice no threee times it worsens and a good example of what he is up to. loses a lot and on purpose but rrealy there are limits and he is past it and we have seen it and yes cities and all tht. below ground yes. fell. and gone.

-- We use this as a example and the clans went through this and they pretty much got beat almost fully the only reason why they're around is they're actually useful to people and they were smaller than John Remallard is now and they took a much bigger beating and dealt out much harder blows and John realized hardly even defends himself from the empire proper. He is usually beat up or dead or worse and he says he doesn't care but he does and he keeps getting his **** kicked right now we are experiencing some strange weather where all the rain is being sucked into Florida from the east and the West Coast or no that's not it it's a E to west movement and it's a very strange thing but we are now in possession of several counts of a grand threats and threats of homicide and it is by John Remelard and it's on our son we are going to go after him he's not giving him a break in any way and we are going to go after him there's a good reason for it the guy does not stop harassing him he's in the Chinese food place blathering and he had some sort of implant and he should not be there at all and he was shot and he is a complete **** and you should see what he was doing he is going out before our son does sits down goes up before him sits down and he kept doing it and doing it saying he's threatening and people are saying we're gonna get you for that and we're gonna do this and as he's leaving they made a list of things are gonna do and I'll tell you one this guy is not responding to any of it and he's saying weird stuff it could be pot me **** it says we're not saying anything for them they're telling me what they're gonna do and I heard about it and you're a **** jerk and a loser do not follow me do not stalk me or they will kill you dead that's what they're doing. It doesn't have to do with the election as much as you think because you want people to believe that you want people to believe everything why don't you shut the **** **** and get away from me like a normal person you're freaking a wino or a street person so he stopped what he's doing it's not true he's trying to whine and complain and we said this is exactly what we're talking about we are not related to you we told you we are not related to you we told you to not do it if you do it you're gonna get hurt on top of what all those people are gonna do and he said I can't believe what I'm hearing he said who cares we say it everyday you get hit you see that metal thing in your head that's from yesterday when you didn't listen and he said what what do I have left I said whatever you have left you gotta get rid of and he said I can't comply then you will die stop talking get ready to die idiot and we said that and we believe it and we meet it.. So later on he starts blabbing and he was arrested and he got hit and he was hit a lot he got shot and he was down at the pizza place and saw Brad he was in the place someone said they got a beat on him and they started hitting him and they're up there now and they're down here going after him.

--- Now this guy is hearing that he's the rooster it's not exactly what he does nope but now his understanding he's out of control but we'll never trust him to do anything in any format that he used to now he's just rogue and random and he's going to pay we have a lot of stuff we're gonna do to this guy with what he's been doing here. More shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

and hellw eek did ok hs the pepto sneakers ihelped wiht he htanks me they say they are mne his and our son we hate them. and then this you hav her and so on and sarah ad the balloon shot jesus. now i love my husband and these jerks aree out of line no car no money and a job hatingand he is workigfor us. and doing it well. and thank you Zues

Hera

nd thank you Hera and it is timing yeh im here right after i arrive he is ther and the bus came back right awy and nice. and she lvoed the water needed it...and can take it no but ok others do yes ad she loves it.need this thank yo and good yes old school good

...

and we thank you nice gesture but yeh it is too hot and she neede it

is miley no

lol

bja

and ok you jerk it was nice good. and we drank together ice cold too not as usual and all here me he says ice cold less bacteria and even than whe you got the purified water and good they say purified. and it has some elements added back. adn i see it on th label yes. good water needed it badly. this rokcs i feel better seeit ok we always have a drink ad ok others may yes thank you if you thinkk of it i love it

short mac bja girl decent attitude yes me

fst though lol he doesnt care at all and he is the mark they alwayss sy it lol

hhaah good

bja

and we heard him one day good she can drive us too good

not john r is benched and for christ sake sit the fuckdown

mac daddy we invde then kick yoiu out

and good need it this place blows

trump

fun asshole you die tonight you shit

mac daddy

Olympus

[fritae]

The Missing Piece (Chapter 12)

Closer.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

a/n: i really like this chapter heh, hope u enjoy! 😚

The staircase leads all the way to basement. I wondered why they would hide such steep, hidden steps in Dabi's office when they could create (much) shorter, more accessible ones from the first floor.

But I'm guessing that's the point.

This isn't supposed to be easy to reach. And Dabi's office is the one place no one would dare enter.

Aside from us, of course.

The basement is completely dark, forcing me to draw myself even closer to Dabi. I enjoy the weight of his hand in mine. He has a firm, tight grip. But just as the thought warms my cheeks, I shake it out of my head.

Within seconds, Dabi turns on the lights.

My eyes widen, taking in the sight before me.

Blood.

A lot of it.

Though it looks dried, like it's been there for ages.

I spot a wall of different sized knives on one hand. A gun display on the other. A shelf of jars, filled with a murky looking liquid and...I don't even want to know what that is inside.

Dabi watches me.

There's a simple, plastic white table in the center of the floor with a large white board behind it.

The place is much messier and less...classy, than the rest of the Blaze.

But I have the feeling it's because it's not meant for outside eyes.

"You okay?" Dabi asks.

I nod, squeezing his hand to comfort myself.

Before the others reach the bottom, he whispers in my ear, "Whenever you want to leave, let me know. You don't have to be here."

"Okay."

"And," He takes another glance at the stairs as the others begin to appear. "Again, Rina. This place does not exist. Anything we say here does not leave this room. Got it?"

I glance warily at the knives.

"Why are you so worried?" I try to smile so he doesn't pick up on my nervousness. "I don't have anyone outside of you guys anyway. Who would I talk to?"

My comment seems to confuse him. "What about-"

"Welcome to the League!!" Toga jumps off the last few steps and swings into full view.

I shoot Dabi a look. "The League?"

"The League of Villains, of course!" Atsuhiro follows Toga, a dramatic grin on his lips. "Only the baddest group of bad boys in town."

"And girls!" Toga calls out.

"League of Villains?" I cackle. "Who came up with that?"

Tenko scowls.

Oop.

Dabi lets go of my hand and motions for me to take a seat on one of the plastic chairs.

I pick a red chair near the board.

"So what is that you guys really do?"

"I told you," Dabi says. "Special services to people willing to pay up."

Given where we are, that suddenly feels a lot more sinister than it did when he first told me.

I look back at the knives and jars in the background.

"So like, a gang? Where you steal things and hurt people if someone pays you enough? Like the movies?"

"Guess you could put it that way."

"And there's actually people that pay for this stuff?"

Dabi shrugs. "It's a niche market."

Woah.

There's a lot more questions in my head, but now is not the time. Maybe later.

As Dabi moves to take a seat, his abdomen brushes against the edge of the table and he hisses in pain.

It releases blood again.

"Fuck!" He grips the skin.

I move closer to him, gripping his hands again. "It still hurts?" I ask worriedly. "Is there anything we can do?" I look around at the others quickly.

"Yes!" Toga says, a little too eagerly.

"What is it?"

She hops over to knives behind us, and takes a moment deciding which one she wants.

She brandishes a short but sharp blade and lets out an excited squeal, as though she enjoyed this.

"Fire please!" She calls out.

What's she doing?

Dabi groans and pulls a lighter out of his pocket. He tosses it toward her, and she carefully holds it under the edge of the blade, running it up and down for several minutes until it turns red.

She's going to seal the wound so it doesn't get infected.

"Lie down, boss," She says in a sing-song voice.

I clear the few papers were scattered on the table and move so Dabi could spread himself over it.

He lifts the edge of his shirt to his midriff, and my breath catches in my throat when I see his abdomen.

The skin is covered in large swaths of reddish purple.

Like parts of it were burnt off...

I gasp.

"These are old," Dabi looks at me. He's watching me carefully, wanting to see just how I'd react. "Still want to be here?"

I swallow my anxiety as I stare at Dabi's mismatched skin. I won't give him the chance to say 'I told you so.'

This must be why he wouldn't let me dress the wound.

He didn't want me to see this.

No wonder the stab didn't phase him.

What else has his body been through...

"Here I come!" Toga grins.

She was all too eager to take the scorching knife and press it to his stomach.

Dabi clenches his teeth immediately, leaving me to hurriedly stand next to him. I squeeze his hand to soothe him, but he grips mine back so hard I think he might break it.

I brush his hair out of eyes and press my hand to his forehead to calm him.

"It's okay," I tell him softly. "It's over."

The others stare at Dabi's wound uncomfortably, like they've been under Toga's knife before.

I wonder if they have similar wounds.

Dabi releases his harsh grip on my hand and begins to breathe slower.

One things strikes me though.

Despite all the pain he's undoubtedly feeling right now, not a single tear drops from his eyes.

I think it might just be him trying not to appear weak in front of us.

But as I look into his eyes, I'm surprised to find them completely dry.

"Are you superhuman or something?" I joke with him.

He looks at me quizzically.

"All of that and you didn't cry?"

Dabi closes his eyes. "I don't cry." He grits his teeth.

I roll my eyes.

Whatever you say.

The others slowly help him sit up straight. I take the first aid kit from Atsuhiro, picking out the cotton, gauze and antibacterial wipes.

Dabi is less reluctant when I try to wrap the area this time.

"You can hold onto me if you want," I tease as I wrap the gauze around his body.

A small smirk appears on his lips. His arm suddenly snakes around my waist, pulling me close to him.

I blush and the gauze falls out of my hands.

Dabi tilts his head. "What's wrong? Thought you wanted me to hold onto you?"

The guys snicker behind us.

I push him away from me, and he laughs as I take another piece of gauze and try again.

"You guys can talk now," I tell them focused on what I'm doing. "What exactly happened today?

Did Mr. Lane find out about the League? Is that what made you a target?"

Dabi is silent.

His silence puzzles me. I look to the others to see if they knew anything.

"Dabi tried blowing up his car!" Toga volunteers.

I frown.

Could this be just because of how Mr. Lane treated me?

No. There's no reason for it to mean that much to Dabi.

Enough to get angry, sure.

To harm Mr. Lane?

Doubtful.

"Why would you blow up his car?" I ask.

Tenko pulls up a chair. "We did some research on him. He's working with some really shady people. And Dabi told us about the whole Todoroki affair."

I shoot Dabi a look.

"They're trying to trick people into thinking they're heroes. That they should be put on a pedestal and admired. There's people out there telling their kids to be like them. Meanwhile they're going around-"

"Enough," Dabi interrupts Tenko. "Point is, they're fakes. They built up their media empires off that fake image. And we're going to expose them."

"But you guys are also doing...you know," I don't know how to say it in a way that isn't offensive. "I mean, you tried blowing up his car. And I'm guessing you probably have done more...if I'm not reaching."

Their eyes harden.

"We never pretended to be good."

I know I should stay silent, but I keep going.

"Right, but you have a double image too. There's the Blaze, and then there's the League."

They shake their heads.

"The Blaze is to funnel money into the League. Yeah, sure it's a front, but those who need our services know where to find us. We can't have masses of people finding out about the other shit we do, can we?"

"But how did this all start? What are you trying to achieve?"

"We just hate hypocrites. We'll help a bad guy to bring down a worse guy. Those that act like angels in public are our favorite targets. I don't care if we have to steal, blackmail, or kill them," Dabi's eyes shine with evil. "Whatever it takes to beat their egos down. Reveal the private faces they hide. Until they're forced to show their bloody hands before the world. Someone like Enji is using Lane for media coverage. Lane is depending on him for protection and cash. We can take them both down."

"What if you get caught?"

He dismisses the question, like it's not even worth his time. "By who?" He scoffs. "Lane? As soon as we take down Enji, Lane's done for. Since he's your old boss, we can give you leeway with how badly you want us to go after him." Dabi says this like that's what I'm genuinely concerned about right now. "Lane's a scared little prick anyway, as soon as he saw me he bounced out of the car and screamed for protection." He laughs like he can picture Mr. Lane's pathetic position as we speak. "But he'll fall. Just like the rest of them."

"I meant the police, Dabi."

The question puzzles him as if he's never considered it before. But the look in his eyes tells me they're even less of a concern than Mr. Lane.

"Don't worry about that," He says. "That's the least of our problems, to be honest."

I nod.

I let them speak uninterrupted for the rest of the night. They have business to take care of, and if I keep asking questions like this, they'll never get to finish. It's enough that they waited all day for me to leave so they could start. Can't hold them up at night as well.

The Todoroki name was brought up several times, among others. It seems strange now, considering Dabi knows it was Mr. Lane's relations with Enji that led to me leaving the company the way I did. Turns out he knows a lot more about Enji than I do.

I try to keep track of the other names as well, but there's so many and I'm so tired, I can barely keep up.

"Here's where Rina comes in," Dabi continues.

My eyes widen at the mention of my name.

"Enji's using Lane for his image. Rina, you said they were working on a movie or something?"

"A documentary, yes."

"We need to make sure that shit doesn't air."

I bite my lip, trying to remember as much information as I could about the documentary. It was supposed to air already. I remember Mr. Lane saying it would be within the month.

But it hasn't yet.

Which means I need to find out more from Al.

"My roommate still works at NNTV. She's the floor manager so she might have some idea of what's going on. I can ask her."

"You sure you can trust her?" Dabi asks with a frown.

"Well, I'm not gonna tell her any details, she's the one that's gonna need to have trust in me, no?"

Atsuhiro cracks his knuckles and rubs his neck. "I don't know, I don't like the sound of that. We have our own ways of finding stuff out so-"

"It won't hurt to try," I insist, looking at Dabi since he's the one that has final say on these matters. "Having 2 avenues of information is better than 1."

Truth be told, I just want to feel useful. I want to feel like I have a role to play, not just that I'm here to "sit and watch".

I want them to feel good about me being here, not apprehensive about whether this was a good decision.

After some deliberation, Dabi sighs. He looks to the others for input. "Might as well?"

"I mean she's here," Tenko says monotonously. "Might as well use her."

Dabi nods and then turns to me. "Just don't be stupid with it. Lead her into the conversation, don't bring it up out of nowhere. She'll be curious about why you're bringing it up. Don't say anything that'll make her ask questions. The more questions she asks you, the more suspicious she'll be."

"Relax guys, I got this." I smile. "Besides, she's a chatterbox. She'll open up at the slightest nudge and go on forever. She's the one that told me about all the.." I grimace. "..issues with the Todoroki company."

Plus, she's my friend! Of course, I can trust her. We've been roommates for years. If anyone could tell me about Mr. Lane's current plans for the documentary, it'd be her.

"So it's settled!" Toga claps. She takes a marker and goes up to the white board, drawing a flow chart with all that's been discussed today. She adds my part last, circling my name and underlining it several times for emphasis, over a big red INTEL SOURCING.

The sight of that makes me smile, like I have a role to play in all of this. I look around at the others but they're all preoccupied with moving things around and discussing their own parts.

The lack of enthusiasm isn't surprising, I mean this is normal for them.

But all I can think of is how exciting it'll be if I have something to contribute the next time we meet. If they'll call me down, and look at me expectantly. I imagine the looks on their faces with glee and the thought almost makes me giddy.

"Okay, are we done here?" Dabi asks.

A bunch of 'yes'es and 'yup's fill the basement.

"Alright then," Dabi grabs a leather jacket from on the wall and checks to make sure his keys are inside. Then he walks my way and grabs my arm.

"Time for you to go home," He says, moving me in front of him.

"But-"

"Now," His eyes narrow. He moves his head in a silent nudge, telling me to turn around and make my way upstairs.

The others watch us curiously, and Toga lets out a snicker at my expense.

"I'm jealous!" She calls after us. "Wish I had someone to drive me home!"

Dabi groans, nudging me to keep moving.

"Bye guys," I wave back at them from halfway up the steps. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

They all wave warmly and I can't help thinking how grateful I am that they trusted me with this.

It feels so weird emerging out of Dabi's office like this, from a secret path that leads deep under the building. But Dabi simply presses another tile in the walls, and the entrance reseals itself, as though it never existed.

We make our way to his car, and I hurry to catch up to him. The height difference certainly doesn't help.

He unlocks the car and slides into the driver's seat. I follow into the passenger's seat and shift awkwardly in my place.

"Where do you live?" He asks as he readjusts his rearview mirror. No sooner had I told him the address, than he revved the engine and sped away from the Blaze.

The ride is quiet for a while. Regrettably so. Dabi hands me a box of disinfectants to wipe the blood off my hands. I wonder how many times he's had to do the same thing before coming into the office.

I fiddle with the hems of my shirts as I try to think of something to talk about. Dabi doesn't seem to be in as big of a rush to speak, his eyes darting from the rearview to the side mirrors periodically as we cruise down the mostly empty highway.

"Dabi?"

"Hm."

"When they said you were gone today, were you really in the basement the whole time?"

Dabi takes a moment to answer. "After I got back, yeah. Couldn't exactly walk through the front doors looking the way I did." He glances at me before switching lanes.

"Were you avoiding me?"

"Partly."

I nod. "Now that I know about the League, do you think you'd avoid me in a case like this again?"

"A case like this won't happen again."

"Okay." I respond quietly. "Cause you know I get worried."

Dabi seems to be deep in thought.

"You worry a lot for someone who's only met me a month ago."

I smile. "Well, of course. We're friends aren't we?"

Dabi spares me a look before switching lanes again. "Right." But he doesn't look like he fully believes me.

"You think you'll be able to handle your friend?" He changes the subject.

"Who, Aliyah? Of course! I told you, we're really good friends and she's the kind of person that loves gossiping anyway. It'll be a piece of cake."

He grunts. "Okay. Because to be honest, that's part of why I wanted you at the Blaze."

I don't know why hearing that makes me feel slightly sad, but it does. "The documentary?"

"Yeah. I mean you work in the media industry. You'd know about that stuff. People like Enji have the industry wrapped around their palms. When you told me he was cozying up to NNTV, I figured you'd be the person to handle all of that for me."

I nod. "So why haven't you asked me before today?" Come to think of it, he even sounded reluctant about agreeing.

"I don't know," He sighs. "Still not sure I want you mixed up with all of this."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not even a member, remember? I'm just getting information for you," I tease. "What's so dangerous about that?"

"That's what worries me," Dabi glances at me, his brows pulled together. "That's all you see it as."

"What am I supposed to see it as?"

"What it is," Dabi gets increasingly agitated, but he tries to keep himself calm. "I'm not sure you're taking this seriously enough, Rina. The closer you get to us, the more at risk you are. The more people that know you work for me, especially what kind of work," He looks dead serious. "The more danger you'll be in."

I roll my eyes. "But no one knows anything about you, Dabi. I've been here for a month and I'm only just finding out about all of this. And I'm sure there's much more I don't know. How would people outside of the League even find out?"

"Same way we find out shit about them. Lane's using his Todoroki connections to supply him with information and protection. They're good at what they do."

My mouth drops. "You mean the Todorokis know about you?"

"Well," Dabi's jaw hardens. "They think they do."

I wait for him to say more, but he leaves it at that. We ride the rest of the distance in silence.

Once we pull up in front of my apartment complex, I try to put a smile on my face.

"Thanks Dabi." I tell him as I unlock the door.

He nods without looking at me. "See you tomorrow."

Those words trigger me immediately and I let go of the handle.

"Don't say that."

Dabi looks confused.

"You said that yesterday and had no intention of seeing me." I cross my arms. "You broke your promise."

"Don't be dramatic, no one says that shit as a promise."

"See you tomorrow means I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him seriously. "Otherwise, just say goodbye or something else."

He leans his head forward against the steering wheel and sighs. "It's just a stupid phrase, you're overthinking it."

I frown.

"See you tomorrow," He gives up. But still, I don't leave.

"I mean it!" He says. "I. Will. See. You. Tomorrow. Good enough?"

I grin. "Mhm, thank you!" I lean over to give him a quick hug before I leave, and he immediately recoils, like my body was made of ice.

"Handsy, aren't you," He mutters, craning his neck to look at me, without getting too close.

I pull away.

"Always have to ruin the moment, don't you," I counter, slightly disappointed. I turn to open the door, and suddenly feel him pull me back in.

"How do you do that?" His voices comes out low and raspy.

I look into his eyes. "Do what?"

There's that frustration in his eyes again.

"Fucking making me feel bad about shit I'd never fucking feel bad about." He growls.

The way he says it makes me blush.

"Cut that shit out."

"Yes sir," I mumble.

He leans his head back.

Then, he hesitantly opens his arms.

I shake my head, pulling my purse over my shoulder again. "Not gonna force you to do something you don't want to do."

I open the door this time, and just as I'm about to step out of his car, he pulls my arm again - harder this time, and I fall back into the bend of his arm.

My heart is pounding faster. I shake my hair from my face to get a better look at Dabi in the dark.

"Why are you so much fucking work," He mutters, his face inches away from mine. I swallow.

He leans forward to hug me closer to his chest. The leather jacket feels surprisingly smooth against my cheek, and my hand finds the back of his seat to balance myself, careful of coming near his wound. He holds me to him for a few long breaths and I smile against his chest, knowing he can't see me right now.

When we pull away, I look at his face once more. But Dabi avoids my gaze.

"You don't have to play along with me," I tell him, a teasing smile on my lips. "I'll only expect more from you next time."

"See you tomorrow," He mumbles, still without facing me. His foot is on the brakes but he's already pulling the gear shift into Drive.

And then, just before I leave for good and with no time to think this through -

I press my lips on his cheek.

Dabi's eyes widen immediately and he looks at me in alarm. "What-"

"Bye Dabi!" I wave with a laugh as I hurry out of his car. I run to the door of my building, grateful for the dark to hide my red cheeks.

Dabi remains in front of the building for a moment, his head still turned my way in shock.

I close the door behind me but hurry to the window, peeking the corner of my head out just in time to catch him shaking his head and rubbing a tired hand across his eyes.

There's no way to describe the relief and warmth in my chest, when he eventually pulls out of his spot.

But just before he can drive off, I swear I feel him smirk at the window.

As if he can hear the adrenaline thrumming in my veins.