#savior ass complex

[thatwitchrevan]

Youtube reccomending me a video on why consent play is ~dangerous~ because I watched part of a video about romance books with dark themes is up there with stupid and annoying things algorithms have done to me.

[xavigab]

Okay, but Oliver actually being a stupidly rich kid too, and him being rich and bored... well, he started doing social experiments. It started off with simple stuff with the staff, like dropping money and seeing if they’d keep it or give it back to him or his mother. As he got older, the experiments became more complicated. In a sense, he accidentally created a little cult before he just ghosted them because he got scared. (He saw Scientology and was like ‘oh yeah I could do that’) He had journal after journal, all being very detailed research on each experiment he’s done. Then he entered Oxford, and instead of Oliver falling in love at first sight, he kinda just wanted to see if Felix, the golden boy of Oxford, could be befriended by a 'poor awkward scholarship kid with no style' (lmao). Anyways, he started from the very beginning, meeting Michael (whom he would have liked to befriend because the guy was weird and would be nice to socially study), and then the whole lying about his ‘family’ to be taken to Saltburn, and then after conducting that experiment because it like worked, he decided to do a second part and see how much lying it would take for a friend to forgive. He hired another family and planned to be called when he was bathing. Oh and if y’all want you could say he fell In love with Felix at the end of it so he confessed in the maze and like after some angst they had their happy ending hahaha. Anyways, he takes his social experiments very seriously. (I would say the most he would do is the Farleigh thing about the plate, but he would still feel bad lol. I wouldn’t say he would be able to kill someone. As he did social experiments, he learned more about people, the good and the bad, so I feel like he would have very good etiquette.)

Sorry I like making completely new stories from already existing once cuz I’m dumb

[rumoredtoexist]

hey guys >:)

the fics published

[fizzigigsimmer]

I literally have to be up early tomorrow * (today lol), but I am laying in bed consumed by the realization that Billy is Jesse Greenwood from Free Willy, if Neil had fucked off earlier and his mom had abandoned him when he was still young enough to be considered precious and worth the effort of saving.

[tbcanary]

like. it’s complicated, right. bruce didn’t want to see dick hurt; he hurt dick trying to prevent it. he tried to save jason’s life; it killed him. he wanted to show steph the right path forward; he pushed her to hurt herself and others. he loves cass and admires her abilities; he pushes her to be more vigilante than human.

(i don’t have a great pithy way to summarize tim or damian or duke or babs, so i won’t try to, but their relationships are similarly complex and difficult with bruce and with the other bats.)

point is, there are no easy dynamics and there is nothing that is purely good, because the vigilantism fucks all of them up, and bruce, as the driving force behind that vigilantism, fucks them up, too. that’s just how it is. and that’s not to say he doesn’t love or care for them, it’s just that he isn’t very good at parenting them, despite being an excellent mentor and teacher in other ways.

[dissentersbedamned]

happy madness day guys, i think theres something wrong with my fight songs vinyl

art commissions

[crimeronan]

With Amity stepping in to protect Hunter despite hating him, I could see Amity getting hyper protective of Willow the second she enters the Emperors Castle. It'd clearly piss Willow off, but also the castle politics are no joke and saying the right thing to the wrong person is a good way to end up dead in a ditch. (It'd especially be funny if Willow WANTED Amity to hate her, because that'd be so much easier to deal with to the point where she's slightly jealous of Amity and Hunter's dynamic)

oh my god this take is so galaxy brained and correct. can we PLEASE get a whole fucking repeat of the "i want you to see who i really am" "i have to protect you" arc in labyrinth runners EXCEPT...... BEFORE THEYRE EVEN FRIENDS AGAIN....

[mayoiayasep]

i keep thinking about kei's phantom illusion it's so pretty it's actually starting to make me mad

[tropicalfreckles]

I stopped posting there from the combo effect of AI and dA supports shitty things, but I find it so funny (and fitting I suppose since I've been there for almost 2 decades) that only on dA can you find a weird niche fandom for those stupid Avatar movies.

[furfurtheferret]

Hey can i have a honest opinion on something?

A few moth ago i started the translation of a lore doc into french, this decision was mostly motivated by a want to do something for a fandom since i never finish my drawings/stories etc , but also to work my english (and make it usefull, i wanted to do something usefull). However now i kind of doubt the utility of it all... first cause ...it's not very intersting to read lmao but i've accepted that it would be more of an archive than anything really...meaningful?idk but also : the lore doc is basically a copy pasta of what's on the tweeter of the Creators (but translated obv), but that means that every link wont be accessible to all -> language barriers + twitter (i don't have it so it's already a problem for me when i can't acces the threads) but it also means that the lore is very limited and we miss every little interrations or quircks of the characters ...yknow, what's really interesting about lore. I think that the day to day actions of the characters are not as interesting as what makes them special....

Today i wanted i bit more of infos about a deal a character made , cause what i had was litteraly "This character made a deal with This character" WHAT KIND OF DEAL?? when i searched on the wiki fandom the entire day was written in great details and the deal was kind of way more horrifing than how it was presented on the doc (dude offered him "good things" o whatever in exchange OF THE LIFE OF HIS SON) and something just clicked in me... IS it really still worth it to work on this translation? If anyone want to learn the lore it wont be very interesting since it's not that developped and it's hard to find what you want unless you know who and when it was. I don't want to let down the OP (but at the same time they didn't really asked, i proposed to make it more accessible WICH IT ISN'T ANYWAY SO FUCK ME). And at the same time the wiki is well more spread, and detailed. What the document has in fast updates the wiki has it in details ... The only "bad"thing that i note on the wiki was that when i made that search for the deal, the page for the specific character was EMPTY on the french side, and a lot of pages aren't translated or even present in both version (AND I HATE THE ADDS IT MAKES IT UNREADABLE i hate it i hate it i hate it)... I really want to help but idk what to do, cause i would hate to let this unfinished

-----------

TLDR : dumb bitch started a useless translation, and could join the translation of a more usefull Wiki but don't want to let first project unfinished

[gremlingottoosilly]

MessageTherapist!Reader and PervLoser!Konig. He moans like a slut at the slightest touch and uses a tiny towel to hide his huge erection. But he offers to leave a huge tip if reader jerks him off.

You have a sexual harassment policy in your massage practice. You also have a debt you have to pay off if you really want to become loan-free before going into retirement. Konig makes you want to implement the first thing, but then the second one reminds you on why you still massage this guy's stress out even though he barely bothers to contain his moans as you touch his lower back and the tense muscles closer to his ass. Perfect, beautiful ass, only even blemished by a few scars and some bullet marks - but otherwise, touching it is heaven. It's firm, round, a whole fucking bakery for you to explore, and you kinda hate yourself for focusing too much on his ass, on his broad shoulders and all the tensity in his beautiful figure, but, then again, he is also sexually harassing you. You can harass him back, it's only fair. He leaves tips every time you make sure to press your hands in the middle of his back, releasing tension he had for years. You know he is a soldier, constantly carrying heavy weight and training to kill - you can see it in the muscles of his arms, always tense, always ready to snap. You ask him to relax and he can't, always making your job difficult - so you press a bit lower, touching and groping, hoping he would finally relax. It's a bit of a savior complex, a charity case - Konig needs something more to relax, so you drop your hands even lower. Caressing his balls as you ask him to turn around slightly, finally giving up. Knowing the guy, his choked moans and groans of pleasure as you jerk him off with a bottle of massage oil you always have on hand, he would give you a down payment on a house if you manage to jerk him off. You really need that money. Konig only ever relaxes after he cums - so you start jerking him off at the start of your sessions, making sure he is nice and limp in your hold. He pays you double after this - and triple if you let him lay in your arms for a bit longer. It's funny how such a big guy just needed someone to hold him, but you're trying your best to contain your fear. He is harmless, you think. Just a bit too obsessive.

[homoerotvic]

on the other hand. phoebe bridgers savior complex. hitting HARD today. too hard

[cakelitter]

Hearts and Badges Rookie! Leon x fem! reader

warning: NSFW, unprotected sex, mastubation, semi-public sex

summary: Rookie cop Leon gets the normal cop life he deserves.

words: 3.1k

Joining the R.P.D you knew you’re going to be up for many tasks, but didn’t expect babysitting to be one of them. Leon S.Kennedy, a new member in your team. Top of his class back at police academy, savior complex, and is following you around the police station like a lost puppy.

Well, he was told to do that anyways. Chief thought you’d be the best to show him around on his first day, as if everything in this department doesn’t get shoved into your lap to deal with. You’re nice, you promise you are. But god, it’s so hard to not lose your shit under the pressure your under. “Diamonds are made under pressure”, your balding at the ripe age of 23.

Showing him around and teaching him how things are done here, wouldn’t be too hard if he didn’t have room temperature IQ. You were explaining to him to how to file reports and submit them on the computer for 15 minutes. And when you’re done with your explanation, you turn around to see if he understood, all you get in return is an empty stare. Not a single thought behind those blue eyes. You’re positive at this point that he uses his maximum brain capacity for his lame ass jokes.

“Okay so, all of your guns and gears are placed in your assigned locker. Yours happens to be 209 right over there” you say the last part while pointing at the end of the row of lockers. His expression looks… is he constipated? Why does he look like he’s holding something back? Is he confused about something but is too shy to ask?

“Is there anything you wanna say?”

He stays quiet for a moment then speaks.

“What do you call a gun that likes to party? A shot gun.”

“…”

It took all of your willpower to not grab your gun from your holster and end it all. There is no way he said that. Your expression remains bland, trying to decipher what was his thought process when he decided to say that. His cheeks heat up with embarrassment as he apologizes under his breath. You nod pursing your lips and move on to the next room with him following behind.

Worst part of it all, is that he’s cute. Dirty blonde hair, puffy lips, sky-blue eyes, and a boy band haircut. All giving a boy next door look to him. He has the girls at the station gushing over him, as if they aren’t pushing 30, and he’s completely oblivious of it all. You had the misfortune of watching Summer the Slut Miller flirt with him, as if fucking the whole station wasn’t enough. Biting her teeth into his neck marking him as her next victim with each hint of hers flying right above his head. Either her tits short-circuited his brain or he’s just that clueless, telling you how nice she was after she left.

Although your task of training him is complete and he graduated from your daycare, he still follows you around. Attached to your hip is an understatement, it feels like he’s riding on your back at all times. “What are you doing?” “Where are you going?” “Can I come with you?” He talks to you so much; you’re starting to hear his voice and stupid remarks even when he’s not there. He’s basically haunting you but the motherfucker isn’t even dead. God forbid he dies, the only thing stopping him from following you home is his morals. As soon as he becomes a ghost, nothing is stopping him.

It’s not like he doesn’t have anyone else to talk to at the station. He made more friends in the 2 months he’s been here, more than the amount you’ve made in the past 2 years. Leon is pretty popular in the station now adays, he’s nice and hardworking, everyone likes him. You are nice too, but instead of being invited to Anderson’s grill party, you get peer pressured into taking on tasks that aren’t yours in the first place. While Leon got assigned the title of the happy go lucky rookie, you on the other hand got assigned the title of… nothing. You doubt anyone other than your teammates and chief know your name.

And as a result of that, here you are sitting at your desk writing another report while everyone’s out on lunch break. The sound of your keyboard keys clicking fills the silent office as you type away. Your eyes are genuinely starting to get fuzzy from staring at your screen all day today. Amidst your endless typing, you hear the sound of boots slowly approaching your desk.

“What do you want rookie.” You say without even looking up. Of course it’s Leon, who else would even bother walking anywhere near their desk during break. Not that your colleagues do much anyways.

“Mike got some donuts for everyone; I brought you one. I got you this cause I’ve seen you eat it before, figured it might be your favorite.”

You look up from your screen for the first time in what feels like ages, and your eyes land at the donut that is placed on your desk, with a tissue paper beneath it, then back at Leon who’s now standing in front of your desk. It was your favorite, and it actually came at the perfect time. You barely slept last night so you could use some sugar.

“Thanks Leon.” You reply with a weak smile and he reciprocates with a smile as well. One that isn’t quite as tired of yours. You take a bite out of the donut then start typing again.

“Spending another lunch break here again?” He asks staring at you then at the cute decorations you have around your desk. You spend more time at this desk than at home, so you might as well make it a bit more pleasant to look at.

You sigh defeatedly and nod, as he leans on the office desk in front of yours. He looks at you and purses his lips together, aware of the bullshit you go through every day.

“Peterson is having a party over at his house this weekend, you coming?”

“Wasn’t invited.”

“Oh.”

You never were, it’s not like you’d go anyway.  Parties are not your thing, especially with this much work load. As soon as you come home you shower before passing out on your bed at 10 o’clock sharp. He starts telling you about some random thing he saw at patrol last night, giving you a report that you hopefully don’t need to type for him as well. You honestly doubt you’ve ever seen him converse with anyone else at the station as much as he does with you. Maybe it’s because you were the first to introduce yourself to him here, or maybe he’s just clingy, or both.

A couple minutes later, you’re finally done with your report and just need to print it out. You press print and wait for the printer at the end of the room to start printing it. But it doesn’t, something’s wrong. You sigh and slump onto your chair.

“I’ll go check” Leon says as he walks over to the device. “It’s out of paper.”

Great, these assholes can’t even bother to refill the paper.

“Where are you going?”

“Supply closet, don’t follow me.”

You say, grabbing your keys and leaving the room. It’s not long before the sound of boots start following up behind you, not surprised. Reaching the supply closet you unlock it and start looking for paper in the dusty and dim place. Crouched down while you look at the bottom shelf, you sense a presence at the door frame behind you.

“What part of ‘don’t follow me’ is difficult for you to understand rookie?”

“…I’m bored.”

“Then at least come here and make yourself useful.”

You hear him approach then crouch down next to you. The sound of the plastic bag covered items rustling fills the tiny space as you both continue searching. Shouldn’t these closets be full with paper anyway? But instead, all you find is old reports and boxes of pens, tape, and paper clips. You mentally cross your fingers and hope you find them here; you’re not in the mood to walk up 2 flights of stairs to the other storage room.

“Amelia asked me out on a date.”

Leon says after a while. Your expression remains the same, that was random, but you’re used to him spitting out nonsense at this point.

“S.T.A.R.S office Amelia or West office Amelia?”

“West office Amelia.” He whispers back.

“What’d you say?”

“I said no.”

Your brows furrow in confusion and curiosity. You don’t know much about her, but heard that she’s sweet. You look over to your side at him. His expression is hard to see in the dim room, but he doesn’t turn around to face you and instead keeps searching.

“Why? She’s pretty.” You reply, as you retract your hands back from the shelf and stop searching.

“Yeah, she is… but I’m just-” He says before he stops himself.

Oh, now you’re interested. Papers and reports can wait, but Leon talking about his love life to you is something he has yet to overshare about.

“You’re…?” You ask, hand rolling forwards gesturing him to continue. He stays quiet for a minute; you doubt he’s even searching anymore but is simply trying to distract himself.

“I’m interested in someone else.”

Your eyebrows raise in shock. Did Summer finally blind him with her ass? No, he’s not the type to go for these types of women. You’ve seen him talk with Emma at the library a few times, and she giggles a little too hard at his jokes. Could it be her? Or maybe it’s someone you don’t know? Either way, you want to know who managed to win over the heart of prince charming over here.

“Who?” Alright, usually you don’t really care when someone tells you life updates or station gossip. But you’re a sucker for romantic drama. A huge part of it is because your love life is as nonexistent as Leon’s ability to take a hint, but that’s besides the point.

The rustling caused by Leon’s hands stop and he turns around and faces you. The light from outside from the hallway seeps into the dingy room highlighting a part of his face. The two of you stare at each other for a couple of seconds before he speaks.

“I don’t think she likes me; it doesn’t matter.”

“How can you be so sure? Tell me and I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

The two of you sound like elementary students whispering about their crushes and pinky promising to keep it a secret. Except you’re not, and you don’t know why he’s making such a big deal out of it. He contemplates for a bit, biting his lip.

…

“I like you.”

The three words slip out of his mouth and you can hear the sound of glass shattering. You? He likes you? There is no way, how can he possibly…

It feels like you got slapped in the face, and the pieces all fall in place. You kept talking about him missing hints and being so socially unaware when you were doing the same thing. You, out of all the women at the station who are fighting over him, he chooses the one that has been barely giving him attention at all. Men are interesting creatures. He notices your silence and starts speaking.

“Your just really cool and hardworking, I couldn’t- I’m sorry if you feel-”

You kiss him.

You don’t even realize what you’ve done till it’s too late. Why did you even do that? Sure, you do find him cute, and his jokes started growing on you, and you’re actually secretly happy that he keeps you company-

Yeah fine, you like him too.

His lips feel soft as they start to kiss yours back, his hot breath fanning out on your skin. He starts leaning in more into your touch, letting out a soft whine doing so. You pull away slowly, as your eyes meet with his once again. He’s shocked? Happy? You can’t quiet pinpoint what it is exactly.

“You al-”

“Shut up.” You interrupt again, pulling him in by his vest and he crashes his lips into yours. His eyes flutter close as the kiss transitions from passionate to fiery, his hand reaches out and intertwines with yours, thumb caressing it gently. While his other hand is situated on the ground next to your hip providing him with support to kiss you even deeper. His tongue nervously enters your mouth and you accept it. Your heart is doing backflips from how fast things are moving, or you’re having stroke.

He helps you get up while your kiss is still ongoing and guides you to stand near the corner of one of the shelves, his hand shuts the closet’s door. You moan softly into his mouth as he grabs your hip. One of your hands is places on his neck, thumb caressing it, while the other is placed on his chest. His dick is pressed up against your abdomen, you can already feel how rock solid it is and you have barely even touched him yet.

Both of your mouths separate and he lifts up your shirt with one of his hands and starts kissing your breasts and your abdomen, grabbing the hair on the back of his head as you bite your lip. His kisses are abrupt, and all over the place almost as if he can’t believe that this is actually happening. He’s clearly pent up, or just really excited to have you like this.

Getting up, and letting your shirt fall back to its place, he leans into your neck placing open mouthed kisses there. Hot shaky breath making you shiver. You feel his hand grab yours and guides you towards his clothed cock before whispering in your ear.

“Please touch me.”

You comply, palming him through his pants as he groans like he’s in pain. Leon S. Kennedy is asking- no begging you to touch him in a staff closet was not on your bucket list for this year.

“Yea- Fuck yeah just like this.”

He ruts his hips into your hand and his eyes lock with yours. He looks like he’s not even with you anymore. Completely blissed out from the feeling of your hand on his dick. The sight alone has slick pooling on the gusset of your panties as he starts kissing your neck again. Your head falls back as he kisses and sucks on the sensitive flesh so desperately.

Your hand abandons his boner and starts unbuckling his belt, the sound of his leather belt coming undone is then followed by his pants dropping to his boots, while your hand slips under his boxers pulling his dick out. So much precums it’s practically dripping. Your hand squeezes the base a bit and starts stroking him as his eyes roll to the back of his head. Skin hot, mouth open, brows furrowed while your hands continue their motion, up and down his length.

His hands fumble with the buttons of your pants and pull them down along with your underwear. His hand reaches for your cunt, fingers running through the slit collecting the fluid on his fingertips, before rubbing your clit. If anyone walks in, you’re both so done for, your hands on his dick and his fingers nearly inside of you.

He removes your hand off him and places it on his shoulder. Grabbing his cock himself, he teases your entrance, other hand grabbing one of your thighs pulling it towards him, giving him better access. His tip nudges your clit a few times before penetrating you. You both let out a whine, before he bottoms out completely. Chest to chest, face to face, your fingers snake up the back of his soft hair.

“Thought about this every day, wanted you for so long.” He confesses under his breath, and you pull him in for another kiss. His hips start moving, the tip of his cock hitting the right spot thanks to the position you’re in. The wet sounds in the closet are then joined with the sound of your colleagues chatting and laughing while walking into the hallway.

“Leo-”

He bullies himself into you once more making you change your mind about ever stopping.

“Please, I need you so bad.” He whimpers grabbing onto you so tight like you might run away, as he keeps drilling into you. The pleasure is starting to get more amplified at this new pace. You place your hand over your mouth muffling your moans and Leon bites your shoulder to muffle his.

The smell of sex fills the small space, hips smashing against yours like your colleagues aren’t a few feet away. Your hand caresses his face delicately as he places his forehead onto yours, tears beading on his waterline as the pleasure gets overwhelming. Your hand drops down to your clit stimulating it, making your peak approach faster.

“Leon, I’m gonna cum.”

He nods eagerly, eyes fixated on your hand and the point connecting the two of you. “Almost there too.”

He struggles to form the words as your heat squeezes him tightly, you can feel him throb inside of you. Seconds later you cum, as Leon’s eyes drink up your blissed out expression. Eyes lidded, head mindlessly moving side to side, body tensing up before going limb. Only for him to follow you a millisecond later, feeling his sticky hot release coating you walls. Babbling nonsense about how good you feel, how hot you are and so on. He continues fucking both of you through your orgasms as a white-ring forms around the base of his dick, that he couldn’t help but admire, taking a mental screenshot.

He stays in you for a moment as the two of you catch your breaths, looking up into your eyes and kissing the corner of your mouth. You smile at him, and he like always reciprocates. Eventually, he pulls out of you and quickly helps put your panties back on before your mixed fluids start dripping out. Soon enough, you both are fully dressed and you decide that its best to wait for everyone to leave before heading out.

“…There are no cameras in here, right?” He whispers looking around the space.

 “Of course there is, there are cameras everywhere.” His face, although you can’t see it well, you can sense it going pale. His mouth opening and closing without words coming you, almost like a fish.

“God, you’re gullible.” You say with a chuckle before opening the door and checking if the coast is clear before you step out. A smile forms on his face in relief, following closely after you. And you both head back to work… Only for you to go back 3 minutes later to grab those papers.

Divider by:2 @superawesomelurkaccount

[onyourowndaisymae]

what your fav obey me love interest says about you (except they're only the reasons i'm attracted to them)

Lucifer

you have daddy issues and desperately seek the approval of those who dislike most people

mean people are def kinda hot to you

Mammon

you crave someone falling head over heels on their ass for you regardless of your flaws

you're a sucker for friends to lovers

Leviathan

mutual dweebery is the relationship dynamic you aspire to

you are autistic

Satan

you were a sad, lonely child growing up that finds comfort in finding others like you

hearing smart people talk is strangely attractive to you

Asmodeus

you want to be seen as significant by someone you perceive out of your league, and you want that person to be interested in you despite how plain you are

you like femboys/you are bisexual

Beelzebub

you just want someone to be nice to you

you want someone to be able to pick you up whenever with ease and toss you around like a ragdoll for shits and giggles

Belphegor

a quick wit is a quick way into your pants heart

you like when people are very forward and open with their attraction to you

Diavolo

you have a savior complex and want to retroactively fix his trauma

you like sunshine-y men who can flip a switch and be serious like it's nothing

Barbatos

being good at everything is incredibly attractive to you

you like the idea of a stoic person showing emotion around you

Simeon

you like nice men who genuinely enjoy your presence

a man with a cute laugh can bring you to your knees in a matter of moments

Solomon

you love being able to razz your partner and have it be fun and casual (@ every peepaw joke i make about him)

you like friends to lovers (but specifically here in that way where you go from friends to friends with enough romantic tension to make everyone place bets on when you'll get together to lovers)

[the sequel]

[apdreadful]

I’ve decided that from here forward I’m writing Tommy and Buck/Evan as long term canon. In the words of Buck himself “Who cares?!”

I get the feeling that Tommy is difficult to get really angry. Mostly based on his past. And his general roll with the punches attitude thus far. So I don’t foresee a lot of strife or fighting in his future with Buck. Except the first time Tommy experiences the after of that big marshmallow Evan Buckley doing something really dangerous and reckless..again.

And Tommy who never gets angry, who never shouts at Buck, who flew a helicopter into a goddamn hurricane in the middle of the ocean, really loses his shit this time because Buck cannot understand why Tommy is so upset that he dropped into a dangerous situation against orders AGAIN.

Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose to keep from shouting “Bobby told you not to go in. He told you not to risk it. That the floors were too unstable”

“There could have been someone left” Buck replies “Someone needed to check. It had to be me”

“Why? Because you’re fucking super human? The great Buck Buckley from the 118 who scoffs at danger, has survived a tsunami, getting trapped beneath a fire truck, throwing a blood clot, and was officially dead for three minutes after getting struck by FUCKING LIGHTNING!”

“How do you know about all of that?”

“That isn’t what matters”

“I think it is” Buck takes a step toward Tommy “Have you been stalking me babe?”

Noticing the mischievous smile Tommy shakes his head “Oh no no no. You are not going to adorable your way out of this”

Bucks shoulders sag and he sighs “I’m ok Tommy. Not even a scratch”

“I can see that” Tommy lets out a deep exhale “I understand the risks of the job. I’m not like your exes who would get all distraught over you removing a cat from a tree. But for fucks sake, you are worse than the EOD guys when I was in Afghanistan with the walking - or in your case running or jumping- right into the worst case scenario with no thought of your own safety” Rubbing his forehead he continues “Evan. You’ve got a savior complex and it’s noble and selfless..”

Buck cuts him off “It’s not a savior complex. I’m not stupid. I understand that sometimes no matter what you do you can’t save them. But sometimes maybe you can, and in those cases, I just make the most sense”

Tommy crosses his arms to keep from strangling him or kissing him stupid again to shut him up “How is that? How does you possibly dying make any sense?”

“They all have people that need them. They all have someone they belong to and..” he trails off with a small shrug

And Tommy hears the words he doesn’t say. He is…expendable. And just like that all of the anger drains out of Tommy to be replaced by a something else. “Evan” he says softly.

“I know” Buck interjects “I know that people love me and they would be sad, especially Maddie. And I don’t want to die. But I don’t want someone who has someone they need, and that needs them, to die either. I couldn’t live with that”

Tommy closes his eyes. This man..How can he be so adorable and selfless, yet so completely stubborn and a pain in the ass about his own safety?

Once he calms his thoughts and finds the words he wants to say, he opens his eyes to see Evan looking at him calmly. Like he expects Tommy to see the sense in what he said.

“Evan. I know we haven’t really put a label on this. On us. But that’s because I don’t want to pressure you. I’m the first man you’ve been with and you’re still figuring out who you are, and I understand that. But let me clarify something for you. I need you to come back to me. Ok?”

Buck blinks “Huh”

“I need you to come back to me” he repeats “Like Bobby needs Athena, and Karen needs Hen, and yes like Maddie needs Chimney.

“And Jee-un. Jee-yun needs her dad”

“Yes, and in that same vein, Christopher needs Eddie” he agrees, trying not to give in to his exasperation. “I need you. I am that person who needs you to come home Evan”

Evan stops whatever he was about to say. Startled awareness creeping into his eyes..Tommy sees a mix of emotions flit across his face. Surprise, joy, fear, everything just races across that expressive face and then Evan sinks onto the barstool at his kitchen island. His hands coming up to cover his face.

Tommy’s stomach clench’s. He pushed too hard, too soon “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I do care and want you to come home but..”

Buck looks up at him “Don’t you dare take that back”

“I’m not taking it back. I just don’t want to push you”

Something else crosses Evans face at that..but he tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth. “You aren’t pushing. You aren’t pressuring me. I am in this just as much as you. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say without it sounding lame and emo as shit”

“Did you just hear me? You can say anything to me Evan. Whatever it is”

Buck rolls his bottom lip between his teeth again. “I’ve never questioned why I do this…I mean it’s the whole reason I was born. To save my brother. To save Daniel. That’s what I do, that’s who I am. It’s why I became a firefighter. To be the one who saves people. The 118 is my family. And I would do anything to protect them from harm”

“I’m not asking you to stop. I would never ask that. I just want to remind you that you matter to a lot of people, and you also have someone who is waiting for you”

Bucks voice is thick “I know that. I get that. But…Nobody has ever. I have never belonged to anyone, like that”

In a sense of deja vu Tommy closes the short distance to Buck. Tipping his face up, he kisses him. Not soft and gentle like their first kiss in this kitchen. But bold and deep. Branding Evan with his mouth. Pulling back he says fiercely “You belong to me like that. For as long as you want..you belong to me and I belong to you, like that”

“I will ALWAYS need you to come back to me Evan”

ao3 like per request

[infimace-blog]

Thinking about rap as a technical artform and rap as a cultural artform, with respect to Tumblr's incompetence at dealing with either. Tumblr can just barely grasp the former because, like all forms of Black music, it's been repackaged in various ways that are more palatable to to white audiences. I talked last month about how what Tumblr was calling rap while trying to defend its taste in music is more akin to filk songs, but I should admit, sometimes Tumblr cites people who actually rap. It doesn't fix the problem or absolve them of their bullshit, but it is true.

The failure then becomes an inability to recognize or care about how rap functions culturally.

People on Tumblr will take Dungeon Meshi and intricately pick apart how a single chapter connects back to real-world neurodivergence issues and the cultural differences between the West and the East when it comes to handling them, and then look at any given rap song and assume it's skin-deep. Unless it's Hamilton back in the late 2010s, before we all decided it was cringe, in which case they'll gladly dig into the history of the early USA and, like the play itself, sidestep the racism whenever possible.

Take Weird Al, one of the many names that's been thrown around in Kendrick and Drake's wake. Weird Al is technically a rapper. He has done rap. We cannot ignore that as a factual statement. He's not even that bad as a rapper. But he has no engagement with rap as a cultural object; he engages with the artform as a parodist. "Amish Paradise", probably Weird Al's most popular rap parody, doesn't say anything; it's here to riff on a religious minority. But you dig into it just a little and you can see the kind of complexity that Tumblr usually loves to talk about. The song is, after all, a parody of Coolio's Grammy-winning "Gangster's Paradise", which is literally about being a black man in an environment dominated by organized crime and fearing the constant threat of death in that life, but was also created specifically for the movie Dangerous Minds, a middling white savior movie about Michelle Pfeiffer teaching a bunch of bad stereotypes of what people think inner city non-white students are. A movie that was, in turn, based on a white woman's memoirs about teaching in a bad school near San Francisco. You've got this interplay between a white woman's real-life efforts to teach her black and Latino students (I can't speak to how effective she was, mind you), a fictionalized version of that same woman being shown as the sole guiding light for her underdeveloped gangbanging students - and a white actress's crappy Kipling-ass 5/10 film getting Coolio his Grammy. It was tailor-made to be Coolio's big hit with white audiences, getting the push of Michelle Pfeiffer, having slow and deliberate rapping, and lacking the swearing in most of Coolio's oeuvre (Stevie Wonder mandated no swearing in return for letting Coolio sample his music). And, though I suspect this was unintentional, the song plays into the same narrative that the movie does, how this rapper is doomed to his life because "nobody's there to teach [him]", with dramatic choir and strings underscoring the dire fate that awaits this rapper if some charitable white person doesn't help him - the same dramatic choir and strings that Weird Al uses for comedic effect by comparing it to Amish farmwork.

I put that last paragraph together with two or three hours of Wikipedia, and you can do the same kind of analysis with a lot of hit rap songs (and Genius is right there if you need a helping hand - I wouldn't have understood much of Kendrick's Euphoria without it), and I think this drives a lot of my frustration? Tumblr loves to see something cool and then take a few days to write an in-depth post about how cool it is under the surface. So the lack of this when it comes to rap does show a deep disinterest in thinking about it when it isn't fun. And there's so much cool shit to learn about rap. Did you know that Baby Got Back was inspired by the anti-black fatphobia Sir Mixalot's model girlfriend was dealing with in her industry, and was pushing back against the media's general preference for skinny white women? Did you know that there's a Turkish hip-hop scene specifically in Germany because, as a minority that was brought to the country for cheap labor and then forced to exist as second-class citizens, they ended up relating a lot to the music? Just. Dig a bit. There's so much.