#my stomach is in my ass rn y’all

[rumoredtoexist]

hey guys >:)

the fics published

[just-a-fluffy-knight]

Wolverine Tickle-Cannons!

My Deadpool headcannons can be found >>here!!<<

A/N: yeah uhhhhhh no one look at these /j 😭😭 I am aware that I have requests to get to but I do not have enough motivation to complete a fic rn and Deadpool and Wolverine is all I can think about right now sooooo here’s a lil bit of food for y’all 🤲🏻

Another thing: These headcannons are for Deadpool 3 Wolverine only, as I haven’t seen any other movies with him in 😞 so these may not even be accurate and incredibly ooc butttttt oh well :3

⚠️ Another thing!! These do contain minor spoilers soooo feel free to come back to this later 👋🏻 Hope y’all like these!! :]] ⚠️

@neppy-34 I apologise I stole some of your ideas we shared feel free to sue me 😞🙏🏻 /lh

Lee:

Yk what??? Fuck you /pos *slams down a bunch of possibly ooc headcannons*

HES TOO GRUMPY I NEED HIM TO SMILEEEEE

Definitely deadpans you like in the gif above if you ask him the dreaded “are you twordish?” question

But he is :]

Like we’ve all seen that X-Men scene that reveals his stomach is ticklish right??

ALSO. HIS FUCKIN LAUGH HERE (scene from the movie used)

THE WHEEZE AND THE SNORT JUST AUGH (imma get him)

His weak spots are definitely his belly and ribs but I feel like Wade would also scratch behind his ears or under his chin to be an asshole

“Whosh a snorty wittle honey badger, huuuuh? You are! Yes, you are-!”

“SHUT THE FUHUCK UP!”

To add onto this he also cusses like a sailor when getting wrecked

Acts incredibly pissy before, during and after getting wrecked, but lets out these like…. content little growls JSJSGAHSHD IDEK ANYMORE DUDE

Will definitely need to restrain him if you don’t wanna accidentally get sliced by his claws or kicked across the room

Like he definitely cut Wade’s hands off once and he was like

“…Bud I kinda need those to do this-“

“Why the hell do you think I just did that?”

ALSO ALSO the scene in the bar where he was drunk?? Bro literally giggled omg

So he’s definitely an easier target if he’s drunk like his claws barely come out and he smiles so much more 😭❤️

But once he sobers up he acts way more grumpy than he usually does, claiming he doesn’t remember any of that shit even though he does VIVIDLY-

Okay one final thing Wade definitely carries him like a bride to milk the joke that he’s short asf in the comics

Ler:

Y’KNOW WHAT?? FUCK YOU AGAIN /pos (slams down even MORE possibly ooc headcannons)

Okay lemme just start with the gif above??

Like that’s literally him if you’re being annoying and he’s trying so hard to just deal with it but then you drop one joke that really riles him up

“…Okay, that’s it, you little shit-“

Okay I feel like this is something that you’d really have to get his playful side out for him to do, but the scene where he dashes towards Wade on all fours??

Yeah he’d do that in a chase

Like specifically to scare Wade

“Oh, we’re gonna do this? Fine, let’s fuckin go.” *gets down and SCARPERS*

“*SCREAM-!* HOLY SHIHIT SPIDER SOCIETY COME GEHET YOUR FUCKING BOSS-“

(yes I did drop a Miguel Ohara reference because that was the first thing I thought of watching that scene for the first time 😭)

Oh and he’ll definitely wreck Wade to tears if he’s being too irritating

Like?? There’s a way to shut him up that doesn’t involve him uselessly stabbing him because he’ll only regenerate anyway?? Fuck yeah‼️

I doubt he’d be one to tease per se, but he’s definitely a massive asshole about wrecking you

“Jesus Christ, you’re loud. You mind? I’m trynna focus here.”

“This isn’t fair? Life ain’t fair. You’re the one who decided to mouth me off, so who’s really at fault here?”

HED ALSO DO THIS THING WHERE while he’s wrecking you he’ll suddenly stop and be like

“So? You ready to stop being a jackass?”

But you’re still too giggly and busy trying to get your breath back to respond so he’ll go

“No? Alright, suit yourself.”

Buuuuuut sometimes you may catch him smirking or chuckling at how much you’re laughing your ass off :]

Raspberries and tickle bites?

………………….yes

Like bro look at those fuckin MUTTONCHOPS

They would tickle so bad omfg

Like imagine him growling into your neck or belly or AUGHSHSHAHA

okay I’m done

And as a lil bonus here’s some more silly ideas involving ‘The Greatest Showman’ references because we both thought that shit was hilarious 😭😭

AAAAAA hope you guys liked these I am very insane about Deadpool and Wolverine if you couldn’t tell :33

[papil0nglegs]

Pretty please hcs of sniper and his girly girl extroverted gf/love interest 🙏🏻🙏🏻 your writing is so cool and fun

Pinkie’ 👛

Sniper x reader

A/n: Hey guys I’m back, did you miss me? Pls tell me you did 😛 this fic was so fun, I spent a lot of time editing it so I hope you guys enjoy it cuz it’s prob one of my favs <33

Warnings: Scout tryna flirt, kinda freaky but nothing too crazy

Y’all are so fucking cute, it’s too much. He loves how you’re just there for him, like literally just there for him.

To emphasize on that, Sniper never really talks back to anyone even when they’re clearly in the wrong. He’s not shy or anything but he’d rather just not start drama.

You on the other hand? The hands are flying if anyone talks shit about your boyfriend. You’re so ready to start pulling hair off of roots for him.

“Maybe if aussie over here stopped wearing sun glasses in the dark he’d see where he’s goin’!!”

“UH UH, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO LIKE THAT? CUZ I KNOW ITS NOT HIM ‼️”

Sometimes he’ll say something to himself and you defend him

“Crikey, I need a bloody shaving”

“What? You look sexy! Who said that to you? I’ll beat their ass rn”

Scout tried to get complements too

“…man, I need a haircut”

“You’d still look ugly.”

Loves seeing your tummy, this bitch will bark like a dog for you to wear a top even slightly showing some stomach. He’ll lay his palm against your lower back to show his love for it.

If you’re into any animal print-like any-he’ll personally go hunt it down, skin it, then make something out of it for you

“Stopp this is gorgeous! Wait where’d you get this?”

“It’s homemade”

“Oh!!”

Grand entrances aren’t his thing but you make it his thing now that you two are dating

“HEY GUYS ✨✨✨✨💕💕 ITS ME Y/N🩷🩷🌸🌸🌸🌸‼️‼️REMEMBER?🪩🪩🪩🪩 and Mundy 😛”

“G’day”

He’s the only merc to cut you time for you to get ready

“We’re about to leave y/n!”

“Guys I need like 20 minutes please!! 😥”

“NEGATIVE. WE WILL LEAVE WITHOUT YOU, CUPCAKE!”

“Take all the time you need love, I’ll drive ya”

He’s such a shopping boyfriend. By that I mean he’ll carry your stuff and sit in the waiting room while you try on dresses cuz he’s patient

Learns a lot about girl shopping etiquette, like the ‘this is cute!’ thing

“Wait this is cute!” puts back immediately

“..hell was that?”

“What? It’s pretty but I wouldn’t wear it, plus 35$ for this is crazy”

If you take him to Victoria secret/PINK he’ll get so flustered. He feels guilty for staring at the mannequins

“Should I get a push up or should I get this mesh one?”

“Wouldn’t the mesh one there show off ya norks?”

“Do you not like looking at them? 😞”

“Hang on luv that’s not what I meant-“

When visiting the hello kitty store he learns a lot about Sanrio characters, he’s a fast learner but here he’s just confused.

“Okay so these are the twin stars”

“Mm, and this is?”

“Oo that’s Kuromi”

“Why they all got cake holes but Ms kitty don’t?”

“I dunno, I heard she’s not even a cat”

“Fuckin’ hell..”

You got him some hello kitty sunglasses, proudly keeps them hanging on his car window

[myringtoe]

pairing: tengen uzui x fem!reader

cw: smut

a/n: i guess i have to say this is a modern au because it references toys.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

tengen would take such good care of your sexual needs. and i mean if you asked, he’d make sure you couldn’t walk for a week after one of your sessions.

i’m talking FREAKY shit. bondage is a personal favorite of his. would absolutely LOVE holding a vibrator to your swollen little clit over and over again. making you cry for him to stop, even though you and he both know you don’t want him to. all the while your arms and legs are tied so you can’t move. 🫠

would ABSOLUTELY use his size to his advantage. imagine you’re lying flat on your stomach, he’s on top of you, holding your wrists down on the bed while also using his weight to keep you from squirming. just slowing thrusting in and out, driving you crazy- (wish this was me rn)

listen…i might get some flack for this one…but i think he’d enjoy being called daddy- LISTEEEEEENNNNNN- he enjoys feeling like he has control over your pleasure. (he’s only into it if you’re into it, would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to)

“yeah? daddy’s fat cock making you feel good baby?”

“i know princess, i know.”

“theeere she is, my pretty little pussy.”

(just imagining him saying these things. 😮‍💨)

very much into semi-public sex.

example: (just using entertainment district arc as a place) while trying to find clues on the demon, you’re disguised in courtesan clothes and tengen just can’t. keep. his eyes. off of you.

that is, until he pulls you down an alley where a lot of people aren’t hanging around.

tengen would torture tf out of your clit. like if he’s going down on you, his tongue or fingers are on it at all times. he wants you gasping, shaking, and screaming for him. and tengen always gets what he wants.

every time y’all are doing it in doggy, he has at least one thought saying “i wanna put it in her butt.” YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE- THIS MAN LOVES ANAL.

loves cumming on you. don’t get him wrong, he loves cumming inside and filling you up. but there’s just something about his cum marking your face, breasts, ass, stomach, etc. he likes seeing that he’s claimed you with his seed. (he loves cumming in your ass too 🤭)

tengen loves himself a power bottom. i’m imagining him having his hands tied to a headboard while you just ride the shit out of him. not bothering to stop even when you both have cum multiple times. (oh yeah, he’s big on overstimulation too.) he’s a whimpering MESS for you, but only occasionally. and when you’re finally too tired to continue, he’s ripping the rope off and fucking the shit out of you-

all and all, he loves fucking you-

[yandere-writer-momo]

I’ve decided to write some filth for y’all. YOUR WELCOME. Afab reader. I am jumping into a pool of holy water after posting this

Minors Do Not Interact, I swear on my grandpa’s grave I will find you and fight you in a McDonald’s parking lot. Trust me, I have time

🌶️ Yandere Spicy Short: Baby with my Baby 🌶️

Katsumi Orochi

Themes: pregnancy/ breeding kink, heavily pregnant reader, praising, and p*rn without plot

You truly believed being heavily pregnant would finally satiate Katsumi’s desire to see you pregnant but he was still insistent on being with you every night, just like this one. You two have been going at it for hours now and you were so tired and over stimulated but Katsumi insisted he wanted to make sure you were ‘well bred.’

You could only cry out as his thighs slapped against your ass, his hands tightly wrapped on your hips. His lips shushing you as he thrusted into you like a mad man. He wasn’t usually a doggy style kind of guy, but your soon to be baby was in the way of missionary.

“Look at you… so swollen and perfect.” Katsumi cooed with a sigh. “My baby is having a baby soon.”

You felt tears drip down your cheeks as he kept slamming into you. His hips stuttering as he began to quickly approach his high yet again.

“Please Katsumi! I’m so tired and my belly is so heavy.” You cried out, the karateka’s hands grabbing your stomach and holding it up. A sigh of relief leaving your lips as he continued to thrust. Your eyes rolled back when he began to rub your belly to give you some relief.

“You’re so beautiful… so perfect.” Katsumi pulled you back to sit up so his mouth could meet yours. You obediently opened your mouth to let his tongue dance with yours. “My beautiful wife…”

You felt your orgasm crash as your body shook around Katsumi. Katsumi’s orgasm not long after yours. He quickly pulled out with a wet pop, his semen leaking down your legs.

A bright smile on his face as he reached down between your legs to shove his fingers inside. His lips softly kissing your cheeks as he began to reassure you.

“You’re so good for me, princess. Now let’s not waste a drop or we’ll had to do this again…” Katsumi whispered.

[godstrayed]

I had some super intense stomach pains when I ate or drank any liquids… I went to ER today because it was unmanageable and y’all… I got a mass the size of a cantaloupe inside of my stomach :( it has to get removed but I literally thought I just gained weight… NO, I got a cyst the size of a BIG ASS FRUIT living in me. The next few days I gotta make appointments and get surgery to get it removed asap bc it’s moving shit around and causing problems rn. I’m just so stressed by the idea of surgery and missing work.

[eviltiddyproductions]

Vincenzo: Episode 8

lmao is my man wearing a Christmas Santa hat in the thumbnail

I think they hug in this episode !!!

look at y’all having your little conversations in a corner 😏 his little smile lmao

macaron !!! 😭🤣

nooo does that monk have a tyre mark on his head

my little man is having a monologue moment about Vincenzo in his head 😭

walking someone home is so love coded

get that TV bag building peeps!

two evil people fighting each other is actually so fun to watch.

just laughing at the weirdest times

your lawyers get you funding too???

‘you need to get your shit together’ said with the most angelic faces ever 💀💗

LMAOOOO our villain’s notes include : I will kill him!!! son of a beach !!! Fook. so many of us could win from privately journaling our feelings

I hope my little brother doesn’t start hitting others with hockey pucks. It would break my heart and stomach to watch that

and he just did

Jang Junwoo!! you’re going to HELLL

why do you have a GUN

oh no are they going to kill those gang members for this. they’re… I mean live by the sword die by the sword but this is insane….

finally the fourth person that shows up when you google Vincenzo cast

who’s dying

oh his mom

all this time I thought babel guy (the dad who is dead) was the one who assaulted people but I guess it’s this bank guy’s dad who’s PRESIDENT!?! nasty.

get him aunty! and get him Chayoung

punch him sister

get him aunty !!! SHE IS SO REAL FOR THIS lmaoooo

did Chayoung just pull out his hair ! yes queen

the bodyguard looking like 😟😟😟

the impression guy is adorable 🤣

Mr Nam getting excited thinking he’s going to be the homme fatale he’s just like me fr !

Hogging the door with a cycle oh so slay !!!

both of them on his shoulder being 2 little devils I LOVE THEM 😭

Adrenaline finally playing

such an unserious time to be playing this song though 😂

why did this man have to be abusive BOOOO

Vincenzo is lucky he’s his type

2 versions of Adrenaline playing rn? 😭 to me it was always more badass than romantic but slay !!!

be as rough as you want, and the scarf wrapped on his shoulder 😭💀

I am so confused if she is beginning to like him or not 🤨 I guess horse riding is attractive

this random ass hug 😭 oh wait this was more of a #real moment. it is true though! I am terrified of horses for this reason. you get on the wrong side or startle them and you will be kicked out of this planet

Mr Nam with his Fedora 😭😭😭

Mr Nam is sweating for his life in that trench coat and fedora hat indoors

i hope his dad is being barbecued in hell

the way he has to hear this story about his mom 😟

veins of steel fr 😭

see you cannot deduct the fact that he’s super abusive and was unknowingly bragging about his mom framing Vince’s mom, otherwise their little date would’ve been adorable 💀

You could use your building zombie artist to terrify him!

their relationship moving at the speed of lightening

Oh he’s leaving!?

They’ve broken up in 2 dates 💀

the rainbow umbrella and the pining 😭

awww Vince has his hair out with a swoop

the power bank out in the water I am scared for his life

everytime I have a chance to get happy that Junwoo (evil ceo masquerading as intern) will suffer I remember his brother will be the one getting beat up when things inevitably don’t go his way and my chance at smiling is lost

there are like 15 people attending this event in this grand auditorium who is the little brother even waving to? 😭

Vince looking sleep deprived as hell but I love the swoopy bang so I will call it a win for me!

the bank guy being played real bad rn 😭

is that his mom? giving Queen Lizzie vibes with the dress and the corgis

I guess our lawyer queenie has finally gotten a win

help our building boys. they’re so funny like

oh the zombies are about to come out

came back to say the evil lawyer lady actress is so good because I despise her character so bad like I want to fight her THROUGH the screen I’m so serious. I’m so mad rn 😭😭😭

[television-pil0t]

Also the reason I was seen to be schizophrenic was mostly because when I was going though it 🤭(that’s not funny at all I lost all my friends) I was having all the schizophrenic symptoms when I was psychotic/ still am it takes a week or something idk. Still taking my meds even tho a good part of me is telling me to stop being there bad I’m gonna ignore it because that’s literally textbook psycho.

I think my last diagnosis was being schizoaffective. I have to ask my parents for the paper because I’m genuinely curious.

I’m pretty like 99% sure I’m diagnose schizoaffective because of how much it was talked about like “are you ok with this.” But also just the very very violent nature of me kinda pushed it a lot. If it’s not aspd it’s definitely bpd and schizoaffective. It would explain both the loss of emotions yet the full scale emotional range. The anger, the violent thoughts, the depression, the hallucinations and delusions I have on a very frequent basis. And the mania since bpd didn’t have manic episodes it has euphoric episodes but I do experience mania from time to time.

They also gave me some Anticonvulsants with I haven’t taken but they control violent behavior and mood swings so 🤷🏽‍♂️

They also talked to my parents about more than just therapy but full of skill training which i didn’t even know that was a thing but it’s basically like a group that teaches you how to show emotions and interact with other humans in a human way. How to react to things. How to.. be normal basically.

But yeah. So

So I don’t think I have aspd because I’ve genuinely loved people before. Exhibit A is my MOTHER as exhibit B is everyone else in my damn life. I just forget what the feeling is like and then forget I ever felt it and then spiral from them. It’s more of a me thing and how I genuinely need to think like a normal person and stop wanting to be actually.. worshiped but yeah.

I loved my mommy even tho she did bad things.

I love my friends even though I have no internet to them almost all the time.

I loved all my exs.. including Simon, khye… actually that’s it. Everyone else sucked it was only them..

Edit: so.. reading over everything I said for the past very long time of saying how much I wanna hurt Simon and kill my parents.. I should’ve been.. checked in.. a very.. very.. very long time ago. :/

“I can’t believe that faggot would treat me like this I’m gonna bash his brains in” is NOT normal💯🅱️🫵🏾 it was very clear that I was having a episode for a very long while.

Cuz at first I was like “what the fuck like this episode was so short like a few days.” Bro look around💀 look at your leg. Look at your tumblr. You talked about killing this person so much you forgot you felt the emotion love bro. It wasn’t a few days.

Thinking about it MORE I remember having a conversation with him (kinda remember) where I was like “I just don’t remember anything that happened today. I don’t fucking know lol” what was the funny part about that sentence babe🤨 we’re waiting to laugh.

“I never loved him.” Bro a few days ago you typed a poem about how much YOU DID love him? What are you on rn?? NOTHING AND THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ISSUE. What do you mean you never loved your mother. Bro be so fuckin fr that was your day 1 hold it down one and only homie till y’all die bonnie and Clyde bitch right there. You did everything for her💀 your only alive because of her. Whatchu mean?

“I never loved daemon.” Yes. Ya did.

“I never loved Simon.” Bro it was 3 years where you cut and cried over him for a few.. DAYS. Let’s be fr babe🤭 I know you where having a really bad episode for a few months but let’s come back down to reality. Be real. It was 3 years and you literally DIDNT wanna break up with him. You said take a break because your stomach PHYSICALLY was HURTING at the thought of breaking up with him💀 try that shit again bitch ass nigga and I will beat the sit outta you (talking to myself.)

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Frank zooms through your house

Quarantine vocab is still in my brain, bc I read this and was like, why is he on zoom?? Who is on the other end of this zoom call??

pointed ears twitching as he hears Christmas music coming from the lounge room.

I was going to do a rickroll here, but as a gift to all, I will leave this bop instead

Also, Ariana Grande is the spiritual successor of Mariah Carey, would u guys agree?

the room lights up as if you're glowing

No it’s actually bc reader doesn’t have the best judgment when it comes to what is edible and what is not, so she ate a light bulb just like this frog 🐸

An excited squeak leaves his mouth as he sprints toward the object, squealing as he moves closer to it

Dude, take ur time, the tinsel isn’t going anywhere 😆

Frank flops onto the tinsel, wrapping his tiny hands around it as he begins to tug

Lol these elves always act like they’ve never seen Christmas decorations before and get so excited 😅

Like is their workroom just completely grey so they don’t get distracted??

He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice you moving toward it, nor that it seems to wrap around your ankle, causing you to trip and fall

This is totally the story that someone high af would tell the paramedics… “the tinsel just started wiggling around man, like an eel, u know?? And it grabbed my ankle!! It was chasing me dude…”

a pout forming on his face as Frank wasn’t expecting to fly today

This implies he is planning to fly at some later time?? 😯😯😯

Do they get to ride on the sleigh with Santa? Bc I feel like unless they were strapped in, or weighed down somehow, they would just be gone like dandelions in the wind

There you lie, near the Christmas tree knocked out from the fall

Nooo she deadass got knocked unconscious lol 💀💀💀

this could have turned into a clue-style murder mystery right here y’all. Like, it was the elf in the lounge room with the tinsel!!

Your cute oversized Marvel shirt is flipped

This is wild. Bc Marvel exists in this universe, but Steve the elf also exists?? So does he just have an uncanny resemblance to captain America? 😵‍💫

Frank quickly jumps up, ignoring the slight pain and dizziness in his head

Bro is like, right back into the action acted being literally flung up into the air 😂

He leans forward, and his tiny finger pokes your cheek before he climbs onto your body. 

What is this for? Is he checking if she’s dead? like what if she was tho lmaooo. How does he even know she’s ok?? Or even breathing?

he’s like “I’m ok so she must be ok too!!”😭

Like a child, he decides to use your ass as a trampoline.

First of all, hilarious

Second of all, reader must do squats or something haha

Third of all, idk if a child seeing a giant butt would immediately think to use it as a trampoline, but u never know lol

Oh also!!! This reminds me of the album covers for “Sexuality” by French artist Sébastien Tellier (and also the single “Divine”, which won the Eurovision Song Contest thing one year!!)

Overjoyed squeals leave his lips before he slowly stops and lies stomach first on your body

My brain for no reason: if she was covered in snow he could go sledding!! Or skiing!! Or snowboarding!!

Me: omg reader could be like suffering brain dmg rn and y’all using her like a hill 😭😭😭

Squeezing and kneading it as he slowly ruts into you

Actually I believe the correct term is “making biscuits”😸

Frank opens his mouth, his teeth clamping down onto your flesh as tingles shoot through his tiny body

So Ransom and Frank are the biters huh 🤔

Haha Frank just chomping down tho like he has a giant marshmallow in front of him whereas Ransom at least made an effort to be gentle 🥺

Warm white cum shoots from his thick mushroom tip and covers your plump flesh

My brain: oh, now he can use that as lube and go sledding!!!

As he exits, his eyes connect with his boss’s, and he shoots the giant man a slight wink and smile, topping it off with a small wave.

Ok like… what is the vibe at this workplace? Is it pretty chill?

Literally u guys, imagine this:

U are the boss of an international corporation

U regularly sneak into someone’s house and just watch them

One time, u see them trip

Then u see of ur employees go over and basically nut on their ass

Then u guys make eye contact 👀

Would that not be fucking awkward?? I feel awk even seeing my boss at the mall or something lol.

But I guess they are either really close or super casual at work bc Frank is just like 😉👋🏃💨

Also! Wasn’t boss man going to punish them or something? Is Frank doing this on company time????

huffing when he notices Frank's damage to your place and your pretty little head

Wait how much damage did he do with one piece of tinsel omg 😳

Before he leaves, he kisses your forehead gently, wishing you sweet dreams

Yeah… still not going to like check her pupils for signs of concussion or anything?

Not going to check how hard she hit her head, or feel for any bumps that might indicate some kind of epidural or subdural hematoma/bleeding in the brain?

Just going to leave her there to sleep it off? Cool cool lol 😎

𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒍 𝒕𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒔

🎄christmas masterlist🎄

warning - smut, tiny elf male, human reader, stalker behaviour, elf goes flying, elf also using reader as a trampoline, slight somno, slight fluff, reader gets knocked out by dumbass tiny man, a special appearance.

18+ only please, thanks to @lavender-annd-lilac for giving me an idea on what to write for frank, the gif and header aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

Frank zooms through your house, his pointed ears twitching as he hears Christmas music coming from the lounge room. An excited grin appears on his face as he heads in that direction. He peeks his head from behind the wall. Frank’s eyes sparkle with glee as they land on your dancing form. Never knowing someone to be so free and beautiful, the room lights up as if you're glowing. For a few moments, he just stares until the shine of something catches his attention.

Frank looks over, his face lighting up, when he notices some golden tinsel lying on the floor. An excited squeak leaves his mouth as he sprints toward the object, squealing as he moves closer to it. Frank flops onto the tinsel, wrapping his tiny hands around it as he begins to tug, similar to a cat but much tinier and human-like. 

“So pretty!” He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice you moving toward it, nor that it seems to wrap around your ankle, causing you to trip and fall. The action causes Frank to be flung into the air, and a panicked squeal leaves his lips. The sound of a thud comes from where you fell, and the tiniest thud comes from where Frank lands. 

Frank groans, blinking away the stars in his vision, a pout forming on his face as Frank wasn’t expecting to fly today. When his vision clears, Frank looks around, his eyes widening when they land on you and your exposed form. The feel of his cock twitching in his small black tights causes his gaze to quickly flicker down, only to look back up again, not wanting to ever look away from the sight in front of him. 

There you lie, near the Christmas tree knocked out from the fall. Your cute oversized Marvel shirt is flipped, exposing your pretty little pussy and your plump ass. 

Frank quickly jumps up, ignoring the slight pain and dizziness in his head. He excitedly runs over to where you lie. He leans forward, and his tiny finger pokes your cheek before he climbs onto your body. 

He strips from his tights, cock throbs as it springs free. Frank feels giddy as he feels a bounce on your cheek. Like a child, he decides to use your ass as a trampoline. For a split second, he forgets about his hardened cock and how he wants to mark you as he jumps up and down. 

Overjoyed squeals leave his lips before he slowly stops and lies stomach first on your body. His tiny hands grip your plumpy flesh. Squeezing and kneading it as he slowly ruts into you, soft moans escape his lips as the pleasure spreads through his body and becomes too much for him. Frank’s eyes roll back, his tiny little hips moving faster than they ever have before. 

Frank opens his mouth, his teeth clamping down onto your flesh as tingles shoot through his tiny body and down to his thick throbbing member. It feels so good that goosebumps rise throughout him, and his heavy sacks begin to tighten when he feels his end approaching rapidly. Frank should feel embarrassed by how quickly this will end, but the pleasure is too overwhelming to care.

Gripping as tightly as he can, Frank grunts as his member throbs and twitches wildly. Warm white cum shoots from his thick mushroom tip and covers your plump flesh. He lies there for a while, catching his breath before he stands, looking down at the masterpiece he created. A joyful smile graces his appearance as he leans down and spreads his cooling seed across your skin. Soft, cheeky giggles escape him. 

Once everything is done, Frank jumps down and pulls his tights back up his lower half before placing a delicate kiss onto your side. He continues to giggle as he runs off into the night, planning for the next time the rest of them will see you. As he exits, his eyes connect with his boss’s, and he shoots the giant man a slight wink and smile, topping it off with a small wave.

The more giant man grunts, strutting over to where you lie unconscious. He bends down and picks up your tiny body, loving how much smaller you are than him, huffing when he notices Frank's damage to your place and your pretty little head. The man cradles you carefully as he begins to walk in the direction of your room, gently placing you down onto your soft bed and tucking you in. Before he leaves, he kisses your forehead gently, wishing you sweet dreams.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[curiosity-killed]

Sorry it is now Late Night* Thoughts with Curio

(It is 10:30 PM)

But I think one of the frustrating things for me with my joints is in some ways that I can do most things. Like I ran seven miles tonight! On Saturday, I danced for 2 hr on pointe! I am by most measures a very fit and active person

But those things a) sometimes have consequences and b) aren’t always correlated with pain. Like I ran today and was biting back tears as I got home because of how badly my knee hurt for the last half mile, and I danced on Saturday and I was up most of Thursday night because my leg hurt so much I couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep.

And if I were to say that to most anyone, I’d get told that a) then I shouldn’t do those things, b) I should go to the doctor, or c) that if I can do those things I shouldn’t really complain about pain bc clearly it’s not that bad

And like! I’m genuinely grateful I can do the things I love! At seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, I was legitimately fully resigned to the fact that I was going to be in constant pain forever and would inevitably have to give up those things I love by the time I was 30-40 and pictured my future as being devoid of pretty giant sources of joy and love and identity for myself. The joy I felt when I first took a dance class and didn’t need to ice immediately after had me feeling drunk on euphoria

But…it still hurts. And it still impacts the rest of my well-being and life: if I get 4 hr of sleep because of pain, I’m not going to feel good the next day. If my joints are flared up throughout the day, it takes away energy and focus and happiness and makes it harder to do everything else.

And in some ways—the big things aren’t the problem. My back hurts and my hip gets fucked up from sitting at my desk to work. My knee flares up if it’s hanging without a footrest. If I am sitting on even a slightly slanted surface my hip gets out of whack. Sometimes it just all hurts because I slept on my side and it was the third Wednesday of the seventh month or wtf knows. But if you say “yeah literally everything can make it worse” ppl sort of tune out like “well then you should just know how to live with it.”

Anyway!! This isn’t going anywhere I’m just in pain and grouchy about it <_<

[short-black-diamond]

NOOOOOoooooooo.....

UHMMMMMMMMMM, I’m alive, haven’t posted in a while and i’m sorry, anyways, here’s a thought that crossed my mind! 

Hope y’all like it! BTW, no good ending for deku, like, Reader ends up with Bakugo n shit. 

Um Um gender neutral (They/them/their), no name called, like (Y/n), I didn’t write (Y/n), annnnd, yeah. 

Um, so it’s actually mutual pining, but...yeah, i dunno.  READ!

---

Bruh, imagine one sided love with Deku. 

You, who has known Midoriya Izuku all their life, who has been there for him when he found out that he was quirkless, when he got made fun of by Bakugo, when he didn’t feel his best.

So...

Why?

Why is he doing that to you? 

Why is he going towards Uraraka and not to you, with your outstretched arms, ready to hug him when he fucked up throwing the ball in the first test they had with the whole class on the first day of school? She only gave him a pat on the shoulder. 

Why was he trying to talk to Todoroki when the latter one didn’t want to have to do anything with the green haired boy? Why did Izuku care so much?

Why didn’t he talk to you as much as he did when it was just you two against the world?

Then it hit you. 

You loved him, but he only liked you. yeah, that’s it. Nothing more. 

anger, sadness and pain filled your whole body and soul the more you thought about it, and before you saw it coming, you spent the rest of the holidays alone, training to become a better person. 

Not once, ever since Deku met All Might, did you get a message other than ‘can’t srry’, ‘’m training rn’, ‘Maybe next time?’, or read on your phone from that freckled boy.  

Heartbreak. 

that’s what it was, yes...

You were so stupid. Why didn’t Deku tell you about his quirk that he had after all? Why was Uraraka the first one to witness it? Why was Bakugo the first one to find out about it? Why are Todoroki, Iida, Uraraka and Deku suddenly close friends with each other?

Why?

Is it because you’re somebody he knows already? Someone he thinks is boring? didn’t he like you anymore? Is that why he barely talks with you, too busy blushing whenever Uraraka touches or smiles at him?

You wanted to puke. You wanted to rip your heart out. Bang your head against a wall, fall down a building, drink poison, anything to stop those fucking butterflies erupting in your stomach whenever you thought about your ex bestfriend. 

Stupid feelings...!

...

...

...

It’s Sero, who notices your absence and lack of optimism first. Knocking swiftly on your door before opening it slowly, he is met with you pushing yourself up with your arms on a bar, in a handstand. 

“Whoah, you alright there?“, he asks, cautiously stepping closer and sitting down on your bed. a soft matress welcomed his ass as he sat down, and he sunk down a bit because of his weight.  

You didn’t hear the scotch tape dispenser and kept up with your training, sweat forming on legs, arms and neck, as well as on your forehead, rock music blasting your eardrums. your eyes were trained on the ground as to not loose your balance. 

Huh, pretty cozy in here., Sero thought.

Just now, the black haired boy realised that he has never been in your room until now. 

Sero looked around. He counted two pots of plants by the balcony, three little aquariums on your bookshelves, a big, little house like cage for Koda’s and your bunnies, which they rested in peacefully (yes, Koda canonly owns a bunny!) and as to not disturb them, you heard music with your earphones and tried your best to keep quiet with your groans. 

On the floor were some lost leaves for the bunnies, a few slices of carrot on the old fashioned nighttable, and lots of pet toys. but, there were also many pillows. A few people could make a pajama party here. 

And that became Sero’s idea. He smirked while watching you as he dialed Denki’s number, who then contacted the whole group. 

Soon, the loud people met your sweaty body and Sero looking at your form. They looked around, everyone thinking the same thing. 

They’re not as intimidating as they look. 

Suddenly, your feet met the ground, but you didn’t make a noise. you panted slowly as you stood up, but your sould nearly left your body when you saw the five people in your dorm room. 

“What the fuck? What are you guys doing here?!“, you whisper-yelled, not wanting to wake the furry pair in their nice little home. 

“Sero chatted us!“, mina cheered silently. 

“You looked down a little, so I thought we could chill a little.“, Sero gave back, speaking quietly. 

You locked eyes with Bakugo, and to your utter disbelief, he gave you a look of concern.

“You okay? You seem...dried out.“, he rasped, eyeing your body which was covered in sweat. 

You didn’t know what to say. 

Was THE Bakugo Katsuki asking about your wellbeing???!

“I...need a shower. Don’t be loud or touch anything.“, you then commanded upon seeing Kirishima, Denki and Mina play with your fishes. 

...

...

...

After about twenty minutes with a cold shower later, you were met with the sight of the five people having widen out your bed and everyone laying on it in a tangled mess; Mina was sleeping on Sero, Sero’s legs were on Denki’s stomach, Denki’s back was on Kirishima’s back, and Bakugo has somehow managed to sleep next to them without them touching him. 

You chuckled quietly and struggled to find a place to sleep on without laying your body parts on somebody else’s, when Bakugo pulled you flush against his chest. 

You blushed furiously while trying to escape from his vice grip, but he only pulled you closer. “Um...Bakugo-”

“Let’s stay like this. Tell me. Why are you behaving like that?“, he whispered. The soft snores of your loud friends signaled that you and Bakugo were the only ones awake at this hour. 

And that gave you time to think about your answer. 

“I...well, it’s about Izu- Midoriya.“

“Ouch, what did he do to make himself land on last name basis with ya?“

You laughed a little, your nervousness about being so close--too close--with your childhood rival, fading a little. 

Huh, it’s pretty nice with him. 

Only now did you feel his chiseled hand trail up and down your body, relaxing you. comforting you. 

“I don’t know. First thing I know, we’re besties, it’s me and him against the world, and the boom. Suddenly he has all those other...those better people around him...“

Bakugo listened to what you whispered. He didn’t say anything. 

“...He is friends with Todoroki, son of the number one pro hero. With Iida, son of a rich family. With Uraraka, whom he must have a crush on...!

I-I mean, look at her! She’s so much more than me..! She is so nice! While I’m trying to be intimidating and shit. She has a nice, high voice, while mine is grotesquely deep. she can make things float! And what can I do with my quirk? No-“

A pair of soft, caramel tasting lips touched yours tenderly. He pressed them on you, very slowly, cautiously, as not to ram into you. His lips were made to fit against yours it seemed. 

he breathed out a sigh, and you, being completely shocked and surprised, calmed down a bit after a few seconds. Then you closed your eyes and cherished the moment. 

After a little more moments of that sudden intimacy, you guys broke the kiss. 

You still had your eyes closed, still feeling the explosive boy’s lips on yours. When you opened your eyelids, you caught him looking at you with a little smile. 

“Please don’t think so lowly of yourself. If you want to know, ‘m havin’ a hard time catchin’ up with ya. Yer more than that floaty bitch, y’know? And about that damn nerd...I’ll handle this. a’ight?“

Unable to say anything - then again, what could you say? - you nodded. 

And then, you saw Katsuki avert his eyes, his cheeks changing their colour and he stuttered something. 

“...w-would you like to... go out ...with me or somethin’?“

at that, you smiled. “Sure, why not?”, and you snuggled into his tits. chest.

Securely, you fell into a deep slumber in the arms of your former enemy. 

But...that didn’t seem to be so bad now. 

...

“Oi, you ready or nah?“, your boyfriend sneered, standing in the doorway. you were putting on a jacket to your school uniform. “Katsuki it’s cold.“

“I am hot.“

“I know, now put on this hoodie.“

“No.“

“...Why not?“

“It’s-“ - “Put it on.“

“Okay.“

You felt a pair of eyes staring at you when you left the UA building to go hiking with Katsuki and when you turned around, you saw Midoriya looking at you with a sad expression. 

Why was he looking at you like that? He has Uraraka after all! And his new best friend Todoroki! And the little brother of the Pro Hero Ingernium! 

since you had no feelings for the green haired guy anymore, you gave him a look of disgust before turning around and looking forward to the date your boyfriend wanted to take you on. 

... 

...

...

“why...?“, Izuku asked himself, after you gave him stank eyes and fucked off with his childhood friend. Hand in hand. Ouch. 

Uraraka grabbed her chance to confess. 

“well, maybe they like Bakugo more? And don’t worry, you’ll find somebody better soon!“, she cheered.

But Izuku was having none of that. 

“No, I’ll talk to them. I can’t believe they’d date Kachan! I don’t want to believe it!”, soon, tears blurred his vision and he retreated back to his dorm room, leaving the floating girl in the common room. 

In his room, Izuku took off all the posters. Yes, the All Might posters. 

...

“we’ll be heroes together! Okay Izuku?! Kachan?!“, you yelled giggling, and your two best friends cheered. 

“Yes! I’ll be the number one pro hero!“

“No, I will be!“

“Jeez, why do you guys always need to be number one?! Being a hero isn’t about who is the best, it’s about saving the innocent and fighting the evil!“

“Oh, they’re right!“

“Then we’ll save as many people as possible and fight the bad guys as good as we can!“

“Yes!“

“Yeah!“

...

that memory came when Izuku found a photo of you, him, and Kachan as little children in his drawer. He didn’t remember when he put it there, but it always made him happy. Now his heart broke. 

He saw another photo underneath the first one, and his heart nearly shattered upon seeing the next flashback. 

... 

“Wow, Mido, you really planning to buy all these posters?“

“Yep, I wanna have all of them!“

“Well, talk about hurting the environment.“

Izuku and you were in your thirteenns, you were looking edgy and you were popular, while Izuku was just a simple loser nerd, but still, you hung out with him. 

He was holding many plastik sticky posters in his hand, in a plastic bag, and you were buying eco friendly books in your cotton bag. 

You were angry at him, to say the least, but you couldn’t let him know. 

After all, you wanted to become an intimidating hero. 

But, Izuku knew you, and your sarcastic remark didn’t really soothe his nervousness and guilt around you. 

What could he say? He was a sucker for emos and goths!

“W-well, I will hang them in my room for a long time! Until they fall off alone!“

“...I sure hope that for you, Mido.“

at your nickname, he blushed, and quickly followed you to the cash register. 

...

Now, he was ripping the All Might posters with all his strength, and he scraped the walls a little, but not that he cared. 

Izuku was crying so hard as memory after memory of good times with you and him came crashing down on him and it was tearing his heart apart.

Now, after he even broke the big poster on the ceiling and stuffed all his all might figurines into a carton, he sighed, his chest heaving, and he sniffed. 

Then, he took his phone which he let fall onto the bed carelessly and texted you. 

‘Hey, where r u rn?‘

‘Is everything ok?‘

‘Wanna meet up?‘

No answer, every single message he sent you wasn’t even on read. 

five minutes passed, nothing. 

He tried doing homework. 

Nothing after 30 minutes. 

Three hours later, he looked at his phone again. 

You did read his messages. But you didn’t answer. 

Izuku wrote again. 

‘R u good?‘

‘are you feeling ok? Should i come ovr?‘

‘pls answer...‘

you read them on the spot. 

And this time, you were writing- No, a voicemail?

After said voicemail, ten seconds, appeared, he pressed on the play butten and quickly put it right next to his ear, a hopeful smile on his lips.

“Izuku. Stop writing me. Stop thinking that we’re friends after you’ve fucking ghosted me for nearly a fucking year. And don’t you ever fucking talk to me again. ever.“

...

You sighed, a tired look on your face, as you layed down onto Katsuki’s bed after you gave said owner your phone to place on the nighttable. 

He chuckled before swiping your hair to the side and softly kissing your temple. you moaned contently and smiled as you closed your eyes. 

“You did a great job, y’know?“

“Yeah, feels nice to finally tell someone to fuck out of somebody’s life. Also, can we go hiking again? I haven’t been so close to nature in ages...!“

“Sure, love.“, he whispered before cuddling you with his sweaty hands, but you didn’t mind wet hands. 

---

HEY 

HOW ARE YOU:DDD

HOW WAS THAT

SORRY I AM SHIT AT WRITING ANGST :(((

[oddballwriter]

Period HC

Summary: What I think the EMH boys would do when you’re on your period.

Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of periods, cramps, and painkillers

Author’s Snip: I just started my period this morning and I’m straight up not having a good time rn lol. So I’m gonna be self indulgent here

Notes: This is for anyone who owns a uterus so trans mascs, y’all can read too. However, this doesn’t talk about dysphoria, however I did make a post is meant for trans masc readers and how the guys try to help with dysphoria

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Evan

As soon as you tell him that you’re on your period, he’s there to try and take care of you

If you’re doing fine and say that you can handle yourself, he’ll back off but still be ready just in case it gets too much

He makes sure you’re comfortable and aren’t struggling with anything

He gets you blankets so you aren’t cold, heats up your heating pad, gets you painkillers, hot tea or water, snacks, anything

Ask for it and he’ll get it in a heartbeat

If you wanna be left alone, he’ll leave you be. And if you want to cuddle, he’s right there cuddling you

Evan, as I’ve said before, has dog boyfriend energy and just seems like he’d do anything for you

Honestly whipped for you

He’ll check up on you every once in a while to see if you’re okay now

But other than when you’re having bad cramps, you’re fine and can handle yourself and he knows that

(Personal hc nonsense)

I hc Evan as trans masc, and I will die by this hc 

I do hc that he’s made a pretty good and full transition 

But he still remebers how unplesent it is 

He understands how much pain your in and if you too are trans masc, he understands the extra discomfort you get from it 

I might do a post where I talk about period comfort hc with him that is meant more for trans mascs (with the rest of the guys) since I don’t want to make this post too long

Vinny

He’s not as “at your service” as Evan is but if your cramps are really kicking your ass he’ll put what he’s doing aside for a moment to help you out

He’ll get you your heating pad and painkillers along with water to swallow them down with

He’ll get you some extra stuff like a blanket or something if you ask

He asks if you’re okay, as in asks if your have everything you need to deal with your cramps and all of that, if you are then he’ll leave you be and go back to whatever he was up to

Unless you want him to keep you company of course. He’s fine with that.

Jeff

Similar to Evan, he’s on god gonna take care of you but like… you don’t get a choice. You’re getting taken care of

Treats you like you’re sick and dying tbh

Evan knows that you can handle yourself and so respects if you want to handle it yourself and will just take care of you when he knows it’s getting rough

Jeff won’t let you do anything even if you feel perfectly fine at the moment

Y/N: Jeff, I’m fine. I’m not having cramps.

Jeff: I know. But I still think you should just relax. I can handle to for you. You just go lay back down.

Once cramps kick in, it’s just like Evan where he’ll get you anything you need so long as you just say the word

He’ll give you smooches and cuddles to distract you from the pain

If you have any extra pain, like for example when I’m on mine, I get pain in my back and legs, he’ll give that part a little massage

Asks if you’re okay a lot

It gets a bit annoying but you know it’s coming from a good place

HABIT

Obviously since he’s a demon, he doesn’t understand some things about humans and so he doesn’t really know what to do when you’re on your period

He knows what it is, why it’s happening, and what’s going on

But he doesn’t know how to help you get through it

So he asks questions like-

“Why do you need something hot on your stomach?”

“Why do you need a blanket, it’s barely even cold in here?”

He just sort of leaves you alone since he figures that you can do everything by yourself since you’ve been experiencing this for years

It’s not until he sees you curled up in a ball in pain completely restless that he’s like “Oh Shit.” and figured out that sometimes a period is a bitch

He gets you what you need and then leaves you be again unless you ask him to stay

He’s a bit confused on why you want him to me there since you are actively in pain but he’ll stay none the less

Tries to be funny to distract you from the pain, maybe tell you a story about something he saw or experienced during some time period

He’s doing his best

[emomanswhore]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟPRESENTING 〔 🌠 〕 BAKI-DAY ‘22 !! ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

. .★. 112022 . .★.

HAPPY 20th ─⊹⊱✰⊰⊹─ BAKI .! ↻ .! @TOUYYES

SO it is my baby’s birthday today 😋 my prettiest, special lil twinky dinky @touyyes ! orrr whom y’all better know as baki ! before i start my lil speechy speech, MAKE SURE YALL GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. it’s not just any birthday either,, my baby made it to 20 YEARS OLD. tbh,, that’s old as hell 😟 buuutttt she a lil cute or whatever. so i guess it’s okay that baki has OFFICIALLY departed from the teens. so yeah, pretty please go stop by her inbox n scream happy birthday 🎈🎂🎊

to my dearest princess, baki … 💌🧁🍓

TODAY IS YOUR DAYYY MAANNNN ITS OFFICIALLY BADDIE SEASON NOW THAT YOUR DAY HAS FINALLY COME 💋🦂 !! how you feeling?? hope you feeling good and your special day is good, well, and fun !! as if i literally don’t know what you're doing rn so ! even though we are a whole ass continent apart and im not able to give you a physical gift- i wanted to give you a lil' serenade and tell you some stuff, that's coming straight from the heart 🤍💕 (and coochie so if i say some fruitcake shit.… i did go in heat momentarily arrooo 🅰️🅱️🅾️)

it's not only your birthday today- BUT ! it also our one year anniversary!! (we not gon count those few months prior that we met, cuz im tryna be romantic and cute rn 🛌) - a WHOLEASS YEAR, LIKE ?? has time gone by incredibly fast, or is it just me? but with spending this past year with you, i've come to learn so much abt you ! whether that's the deep hyperfixation on things you'll periodically get n then get over, your love for the sea n swimming, or even down to the lil things that make up your personality!

in my eyes, you really are like a star ! so dazzling, bright, and the way you shine brings everyone in and makes them INSTANTLY attracted to you 💫 from your charm, to your outgoing and cool nature, and to how fucking hilarious you are. like istg i've literally never had anyone match the same energy as me, and deadass make my lungs clatter and collapse into my stomach from how hard i laugh 🐽💥 speaking of matching energy, man,, i cant even use certain emojis unironically no more cuz we ruined the meaning of them, with the dumbass lil emoji combos we came up with

it's crazy how i can't do certain things without thinking of you. literally rent free in my damn mind, and it's literally cuz we talk damn near everyday 🤕 like if i go even a full 24 hours without talking to you, it's very obvious that im sad n not in a good mood. bitch you literally have me in a chokehold and this shit doesn’t seem to be coming apart anytime soon 🧎🏽‍♀️🕳⛓ if you wanted someone who’s gonna be obsessed with you for the rest of your life, congratulations. cuz i don’t plan on ever letting you go, and you are MINE forever 😋🩸🪓 (possessive alpha mode grrr ruff ruff)

i could literally go on and brag about you for the rest of my life fr. like words can never truly express the amount of adoration and love i have for you. like i literally see MYSELF in you— that could be from us sharing so many common interests, or to the way we come up with crazy ass (delusions) headcanons of our bfs. you’ve become the biggest supporter and lover in my world ! even now with me recently starting to seriously write, you’ve had my back all the way through it. helping me proofread, giving me ideas n suggestions, and all around helping me feel confident n happy with my work !! 💗

i could never thank you enough, and express the full gratitude n appreciation i have for you. just YOU— n im so lucky that you’ve come into my life and made every day so much better. november gave me the best things,, it was the month you were brought into this world, and eventually the month that has made us as close as we are now ! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💕

baki, you are the light of my life. my partner in crime, my wifey and the twinkling little star that i always look forward to seeing. the stacy to my chellery, and actual love of my life. i love you so very much, and i can’t wait to celebrate our special month of november next year, the year after that, and the future years that i plan to spend with you 🤍 💍

HAAAPPPYY BIRRTHHDDAAYYY STAAYYCEE !!

[shotorozu]

I have so many cute, fluffy requests but lemme drop this one! I’d love to request head cannons of Bakugo, Shinsou, Kirishima, and Mirio being dared to lay on their crush’s lap. Y/N is chilling on the couch on her phone, unaware of this. So these bois fulfill the dare and of course Y/N is surprised but she always liked them and doesn’t think she’ll have an opportunity like this again, so what does she do? Place her phone down and gently rubs their head with one hand and cheek with the other with a tender smile and even calling them cute.

laying on their crush’s lap

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, kirishima eijirou, togata mirio

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, but a f! reader, quirk’s not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff

note(s) : i want to apologize for not uploading yesterday! i was quite hoarded with school work, but just so you know— i do see your requests :)) i also wrote this at 3am by the way so.. no proofread rn but i will later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

ugh— first of all

bakugou is not one for dares. he thinks dares are quite useless, and irrelevant

however, it was either him; bakugou katsuki, being labeled a chicken or

laying his head down on Y/N— his crush. it doesn’t seem so bad to be honest

but.. the problem is that no one excluding the bakusquad has an idea of his feelings towards you

little did he know, you also harbor feelings towards him.

his pride.. can’t be hurt from something like this. nah, that’d be embarrassing

so he decides to go through with the dare.

after dinner, and briefly before he goes to sleep—

he enters the ground floor, and walks past the common room, where the bakusquad was just chilling at

you’re sitting beside them, just chilling on your phone— while listening to their antics

the bakusquad’s just staring at him, with a knowing look adorning their expressions

bakugou blinks, and he can sigh irritatedly— as he walks towards the couch, standing in front of you

carmine eyes practically glaring at you, waiting for you to notice his intense stare locked on you

with the bakusquad staring in anticipation, waiting for something to happen

you eventually notice (i mean, how could you not?) and you can only tilt your head “what’s up with you??” you question him with a light hearted tone

he doesn’t say much, only sighing before immediately dropping down and settling his head on your lap

you immediately grow flustered, suddenly aware of how soft his ash blond hair is (despite it’s rather.. spiky appearance)

the bakusquad’s just like “HOLY SHIT- he actually did it!” and it’s suddenly.. a lot more chaotic. 

the blond shifts his position momentarily, red eyes staring up at you as they scan your expression for any sign of rejection

taking in your sheepish expression, and the fact that you gave him nothing but a rather.. contagious smile, he takes that as a good sign 

but he’s surprised when you set down your phone, and attaching one hand onto his head- petting luscious blond pieces of hair

he blinks- genuinely pleased by this action and the bakusquad goes beserk

“is that good enough for you, dumbasses?” he asks switching back to his usual self, and they don’t give him much of an answer- only sending him cheeky looks.

when it’s time to go back to your rooms, bakugou suddenly breaks the silence.

“based off your reaction, i could say you like me back.” bakugou says it in such a soft tone, which is very out of character

you can only nod, and before you guys part ways, bakugou grabs the courage to grab your face and kiss you love the pining

hitoshi shinsou

it was definitely kaminari that asked him to do this, i mean.. when was it not-

recently joining the hero course in his second year, finally after working hard for his spot in the class- he became classmates with you

the person he’s been crushing on for the last year or so.

again, hitoshi’s pretty chill when it comes to dares and class games, but he’s not someone that would indulge in them regularly.

but kaminari, being quite the social butterfly he is, waltzed over to the recent addition to their class

and asked him to lay his head on your lap. since he was having his suspicions of shinsou having a crush.

shinsou’s thinking like.. “damn, he definitely knows. i mean, he’s probably the only person that knows.”

thing is, he’s probably the least bold out of all of these characters. 

like.. he kinda wants to do it because it’s you but he’s also considering your feelings

oh boy.. if only you knew.

and he doesn’t want to embarrass you either. so he's just having a heart time just finding the perfect moment. 

scanning the hallway of any people, he pads right across it as he enters the common room

he’s surprised to see you chilling on the couch.

you squeak out a small noise startled by the sudden appearance of another person, but they immediately calm down realizing it’s shinsou

“didn’t expect to see you there,” you laugh, and he could only chuckle at your reaction, as he stand next to the couch 

his stomach is practically swarming with butterflies, but he replies anyway “you’re not staying in your room?”

“i didn’t realize how late it was,” you smile, “what’re you doing down here?”

“just getting a glass of water,” shinsou replies simply, silently trying his best to calm down his racing heart, shifting to stand infront of you 

it’s silent for a few seconds, and it feels like forever. but shinsou concludes that he might as well do it now. 

there's no one here to question his actions anyway.

dropping down, he pushes his head onto your lap- which surprises you because you never expected hitoshi shinsou; your crush 

to just.. suddenly settle his head on your lap. 

you’re flustered, but you love how the peaceful look on his usually tired out face.

placing your hand on his head, fingers weaving through purple locks- you allow a moment to pass by 

breaking the silence, you speak “how cute,” 

shinsou raises an eyebrow at your comment, and stands right up- walking away from the cut short moment. 

“where are you going?” you ask, since how could he just do that and walk away so casually?? 

“getting water, like i said.” the corner of his lips turn up slightly. “i’ll see you later. maybe we could do this more.”

you don’t reply- and shinsou could only laugh at the way you owlishly blink “now who’s the cute one now?” he pokes fun at your bewildered- yet cute expression, and it’s not long before he disappears into the hallway 

the next day, kaminari experiences such a field day when he finds out he did it. he could tell by the sheepish look on your face.

kirishima eijirou

who’s the one that dared him? it was mina and kaminari

similar to bakugou, the bakusquad’s the only one that has a slight idea of your crush, and that includes bakugou 

to his dismay

so they dared kirishima to do this because it might just give you guys a head start. and they also wanted to see kiri’s reaction.

at first, kirishima was pretty reluctant regarding this dare, because.. how tf is he gonna do this??

is it unmanly to just.. walk up to you and plop his head right down onto your lap? 

what if he tarnished what y’all have? he wouldn’t say it’s a relationship yet, but your relationship’s at a pretty good place right now. 

it was bakugou that convinced him to do the dare because “just do it, idiot. it might do you something good for once.” 

he only said this because he wanted them to shut up ngl

so if his bestie- bakugou is telling him to a dare then.. it’s probably a sign to do it. 

shaking off the nervousness, kirishima walks off to find you- because the sooner the better, right?

you’re just doing your own thing, as you chill with mina on the couch. seeing the red head- mina sends a quick expression that practically tells him to go for it

kirishima gulps, nervously- and he enters the area, you’re suddenly aware of his presence. 

“oh, hi kiri!” you greet him casually, and he waves back at you, butterflies tickling his stomach. 

no need to feel nervous eijirou, just.. do it.

breathing in, he immediately kneels down on the floor right infront of you

you’re startled when you suddenly feel weight on your lap, and you’re visibly flustered seeing your own crush resting his head on your lap

mina’s making train noises right now, but she’s trying hard to not make a huge deal out of it (but how could she not, really? she’s tired of seeing both of her friends pinning over each other.)

“sorry, Y/N” kirishima apologizes, yet he doesn't see the slightest hint of discomfort. 

you laugh, smoothing your head over his head, his face practically rivals his dyed hair. “if you wanted to lay your head on my lap, you could’ve said so, cutie.”

wait.. so does that mean you like him too? 

mina couldn’t contain herself, as seeing the heavens as y’all interact. rip 

togata mirio

shy? that’s so funny. 

is that a thing with mirio togata? this is the same man that fought class 1-A butt ass naked. 

there’s no shame detected in his bloodstream. more like.. he just knows how to hide it well.

nejire dared him to lay his head on your lap, because she wanted the both of you to just “get together already!!” 

and she also wanted to see your reaction.

tamaki’s just like “uh.. won’t Y/N spontaneously combust though?” 

mirio legit has no shame, this guy is the sole definition of ‘where’s my hug at?��

would not care about the location because a dare is a dare. the next time he sees you sitting outside of school hours

he’s sitting on that lap. end of the discussion.

you’re sitting on the couch of the dorm’s common room, and you’re just waiting for a text from nejire and tamaki 

(since you and mirio aren’t classmates with tamaki and nejire, you guys try to meet up with each other as much as y’all can.)

mirio walks into the common room, and he’s glad to see you just sitting there. 

now would be a good time!

calling your name out cheerfully, he approaches you-”Y/N, hi!” he grins as he approaches you, nothing seems off. 

“hi mirio- wait,” your greeting is cut off short when he sets his head on your lap, humming immediately as he savors the pleasant feeling. 

“w-what’re you doing?” 

“laying on your lap! it’s pretty comfortable here. have i told you that yet?” 

you shake your head, experiencing a loss of words. 

he can only grin, eyes shimmering with joy- absolutely loving the expression on your face. 

“you’re too cute, mirio. if you asked me out right now, i wouldn't be too mad at the idea.”

blinking up at you, he asks “well? will you?” 

“of course.” 

nejire and tamaki’s watching the scene from outside, and tamaki had to restrain nejire from squealing too hard. 

thanks nejire :))

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading! 

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing. 

do not steal my work :))

[shorkbrian]

what if one day Kirishima or Bakugou heard you telling your friend how you faked an orgasm last time y’all fucked because he was tired after patrol n all. Kiri would feel so bad or guilty that he’d keep giving, making you come again and again. But Balugou’d be so fucking insulted, he’d either forbid you from coming for the next two weeks or make you come again n again till you’re begging him to stop. Both of them fucking you till you’re all stupid, drooling and saying “Than’ you, thank you”

I went with Kirishima bc I’m in a soft mood rn. I wanna get fucked and filled but like very gently, like have him come up behind me and lift my hips while I’m working on my laptop and just move my shorts and slide inside. 

(Warnings - NSFW, fingering, cunnilingous, overstimulation, ignored consent)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kirishima doesn’t let on that he had heard.

He’d just flop down behind you where you’re laying on the floor, playing a game on your phone. You turn to look at him but he just pushes you back towards your front

“Focus on your game baby.”

He starts tugging down your shorts, and you quickly get what's about to transpire, opening your legs a little and lifting your hips to help him out. Shorts and panties off, Kiri quickly lifts up one of your legs, pushing it so it’s next to your chest, pussy on full display. You don’t feel too shy, plus you were doing as he said, focusing on your game.

Fingers first, running along your folds, unhurried and steady. He twirls them around your clit, gently massaging at the pink of your cunt. You relax, sighing as he touches you, heat already rising in your tummy.

Right now though, you can tell that Kirishima just wants to touch you and fuck you while you keep playing your game, and he’s in no rush.

By the time he’s eased three fingers into you, your clit is buzzing, hips jerking. You’re still playing your game, able to keep your focus forward and on your phone. But it feels good, and you’re ready to sink into Kiri’s arms and let him fuck you to sleep.

He makes you cum with his fingers, dancing around your g-spot, pressing into hard and fast, flicking his wrist, thumb rubbing little circles around your clit. You moan, relaxed and flushed and feeling so, so good.

After you ride out the wave of your orgasm, you move to turn over, offer your throat or maybe your hands to your boyfriend, return the favor, make him feel good too. But the man stills you with his hands, chuckling.

“Nah, stay right there, I’m not finished yet.”

“Wha-?” You get your breath knocked out of you as he shoves you back onto your stomach, and then he’s breathing over your cunt, making you twitch and writhe.

“Fuck, you’re so wet now.” He huffed, dipping closer to nose at your entrance, and you gasp at the touch. “Dripping. Can’t wait to taste.” And so he didn’t, flicking his tongue out to taste your juices, humming as he did so, smacking his lips together.

His hands came to rest on the tops of your thighs, pulling you close to his face so he could lap at your pussy. “Don’t forget about your game.” He reminded, before diving in fully, licking and slurping and sucking at your clit, plunging his tongue into your entrance, rubbing it against your walls.

Your legs shake, and you moan, upper body curling in on yourself as you get dragged through instant, building pleasure as Kiri’s squishy tongue lathers all over your pulsing cunt.

The man makes you cum again, and then once more with his tongue, and by then you’re crying, game forgotten.

“Kiri stop, I can’t take anymore. No more, no more please! Oh-ah-ah, wait!” You yelped squirming in his hold, legs squeezing together as you tried to force him to stop licking you.

All you accomplished was crushing his head between your thighs, keeping him locked close. You could feel his smile before he dug back in with fervor, pushing his tongue as far as he could manage into your wet, pink opening.

It hurt, it felt good, it was too much! With another useless thrash, you sobbed into the carpet, hitting the ground in frustration and overstimulation as you begged for your boyfriend to stop.

With one last, stomach-flipping suck, Kirishima detached from your cunt, sitting back on his heels. “Fuckkk baby, You’re so sensitive. That feel good? You came like, three times!”

Hiccuping, you managed to turn onto your back, fixing your boyfriend with a tear-filled gaze. “I told-hic-I told you to stop! Why didn’t you... I wanted-hic-you to stop Kiri...”

Your boyfriend cooed, swooping close to press wet lips to your forehead, smoothing down your hair. “I know baby.” His voice was so sweet, he was almost baby-talking you. “But I want you to feel really nice, okay? I’m gonna make you cum a bunch, get your pussy all sore.”

He wasn’t done? Eyes widening, you pushed him away, immediately trying to sit up, but Kiri pushed you back down onto your back, holding you there with a large hand splayed across your chest.

“No, stay there. Here-” he reached above your head, picking up your phone to deposit it in your hands, dipping down for another wet kiss pressed against your forehead. “-Just play your game.”

Clutching your phone to your chest, you could only nod. You always listened to your boyfriend, let him tell you what to do. You trusted him.

Kirishima patted your cheek lovingly, giving you a gentle smile before drawing back. He situated your legs so that one was between his own, your other leg slung over his thigh, so he was essentially sitting on one of your legs, holding you down.

He was already naked, had been from the moment he had settled down behind you. Kirishima lined himself up, taking a second to use the mushroom head of his dick to play with your folds, rubbing along the slick flesh, tapping at your clit, rubbing his pre-cum onto your skin.

When you whined, hands still gripping your phone, Kiri grinned, still focused on your pussy. “Getting impatient babe? Don’t make me tell you again, keep playing your game.”

You did as he said, hesitantly switching your attention back to your phone, clicking it on, tapping back ti the game you had been playing. Now that you weren’t focused on him, it came as surprise when he pushed the tip inside, the man making a little noise as he bit his lip, closing his eyes.

He kept just the tip inside, thrusting in tiny little circles, never going deeper. It was teasing at pleasure, and you wanted more. But you were determined to be good, and kept your eyes and mind on your phone, letting Kirishima have his fun playing with your puffy, overstimulated hole.

You almost choked when he pushed in completely, slow but steady. “K-Kiri! Oh!” 

“Mm, yes baby? God, your pussy is so hot, always makes me cum so fast. This time I’m gonna make sure you cum, alright? I’m not gonna stop though, want you to cum lots of times, ‘kay?”

The reveal of his plan made you squirm, fingers itching to drop your phone and reach for your boyfriend. You don’t think you’d survive that, could survive that. You were already sensitive, content with the orgasms he had pulled from you.

Usually you were always up for sex, Kirishima always able to rile you up. But right now you were tired, and you’d already cum. You just wanted to suck Kiri off and maybe take a shower, not get pounded into oblivion.

Immediately, Kirishima started out thrusting hard and fast, aiming for your g-spot, hips hammering against your ass. You squealed, back arching, but you were proud that you held onto your phone, even though you wanted to drop it and claw at the carpet. The way he was straddling your leg made it impossible for you to escape his grip, and it wasn’t long before you found yourself crying through another orgasm, sobbing as it rippled through your body, stomach clenching hard.

“Oh god, oh, that’s good.” Kiri breathed, stilling his hips. “I feel like ‘m gonna cum, jesus.”

You thought you were done after that.

And then he started moving again, curling forward so he could rest his elbows beside your face, bury his head in your neck. Before doing that though, he looped your arms around his neck, throwing your phone to the side, finally giving you permission to use your hands.

They went to his hair, clutching at the strands as his hips worked into you at a torturous pace, small circles, big circles, then straight thrusting before he repeated the pattern. Not an inch of your insides was left untouched.

“No.... Kiri...ah, ple-e-e-ase, aHhH!” You begged, body limp underneath him.

“Nope.” The man shook his head, brow furrowed in determination. You were still present enough to be able to tell that he was struggling, fighting not to cum, sweat dripping off his temples. “You’re gonna cum for me again, and again, and again until I let you stop, got it?”

“I do-n’tttt-!” You sobbed, unable to finish your sentence. You came again, convulsing in his hold, eyes rolling back in your head when one of his hands began torturing your clit, rubbing circles, thumbing at the bud, pressing hard.

It was beginning to be difficult to make sense of the world, your experience reduced to pleasurable sensations. 

There was Kirishima’s body above you, heavy, damp with sweat, muscles rippling as he moved.

The scent of sex filled the air, sweat and your juices and Kirishima’s natural musk infiltrating your nose.

The unsteady build of pleasure in your gut, tummy flip-flopping with each thrust. Carpet rubbing against your back, soft red hair under your fingers, wet lips pressing to your neck in sweet kisses and toe-curling hickies.

All of the sensations swirled together, until you could barely discern up from down.

“-el good? Baby? Am I making you feel good?”

“Yes-nnh-yes!” You cried, bucking your hips back against his, forcing his cock deeper and deeper until his fat balls could be felt against your ass. “Feels..... mm..... nice.” You sighed, closing your eyes as you pulled at Kiri’s hair.

“Yeah? Fuck, I think I’m gonna cum, oh fuck I'm gonna cum, gonna-fuck, gonna cum-!” Kirishima panted, resuming his sweet, romantic kisses to your neck and clavicle. 

“Thank-thank you Kiri! Th-ank-th-oh-” 

It’s okay if he hadn’t listened to you at first. You felt nice now, floating on clouds.

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

NSFW Alphabet- Joe Toye

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

 Ok, so here’s the 411- Joe gives it his all when y’all are fucking. He’s flipping you around into different positions, he’s gripping whatever part of your body he can get his hands so he can reach deeper faster harder better, Joe is fully prepared to do all the work. 

That being said, the boy’s EXHAUSTED by the time he’s done with you. You’re lucky if he doesn’t collapse on you in a sweaty, sleepy mess. But after he’s had a second to regroup and rally- he’s totally down for some pillow talk. 

WARNING: it’s going to be in that sexy husky voice of his, which means round two is imminent.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

 Ok, so our Joe’s hot. Like, really hot. He is fully aware of how good he looks- sometimes to the point of arrogance. If he had to pick just one part of himself, it’d probably be his arms. He likes knowing that he can always fight his way out of a sticky situation, but what he really likes is how your hands feel when they clutch at his biceps while getting sexy. (He also really gets soft when you run your fingers up and down his arms/forearms while sitting around and talking with the guys shh shh shh)

On you? Your hands- this boy never thought of hands being sexy until he watched yours dance across a map while discussing plans of action. His eyes followed their motions like a moth follows a flame- and when they touched HIS HAND for the first time? Boner city. Population: this guy.

 C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

MESSY BOY. OH MY GOD.

He’s BIG into marking you, and if you gave him the ok (he always checks first) he’d gladly paint you in it (he gets very caveman when it comes to marking you as his ffs what a horndog). 

But if you aren’t into that? Not a problem. Simply seeing his cum on your hands (which we’ve established he’s super into) is enough for him. Inside of you works too, FYI. He’s very accommodating.

 D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

 He once secretly got off in class while watching you disassemble and reassemble your rifle. Your fingers moved so fast and confidently that he couldn’t help but wonder what ~other~ confident things they could do (his mind instantly pictured you fingering yourself and he’s only a little bit sorry about how depraved he is). He’d kneaded the heel of his hand against his cock under the table and to this day he has no idea how he wasn’t caught.

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Experienced is a good way to describe Joe, bc in cruder company he’d be called a fuckboy. He’s had more partners than the average Joe (lol sorry) but not nearly as many as someone like Tab or Nix or Liebgott have had. He just lived a full-ass life and, due to him being a stud, he’s never been wanting for company.

 F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

 Anything with him on top is his comfort zone. He likes feeling in control, and he really likes being able to see how good he’s making you feel. 

Bonus points if he can grip your neck a lil bit.

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

 Joe is goofy in the sense that he likes to tease you, maybe antagonize you a lil. He knows that you get off on it- that you like when he points out how good he’s making you feel, or lightly chastising you for how quickly you’re going to cum. He doesn’t mean it, and if you were ever to tell him to back off he’d be totally down.

 H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

 Dark, curly, trimmed but not ~groomed~, you know?

 I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

 Personally, He seeks to establish intimacy during the afterglow, curling around you once the sweat has cooled and your breathing has evened out. Face touches, greedy but sweet kisses? Joe Toye’s your guy.

HOWEVER!: If he thinks you could use some during the act, he’s game. If you ask for it? HE’S WHATEVER MORE THAN BEING GAME IS. Get over here, hot stuff.

 J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

 He does it whenever he feels the urge. It’s not a huge deal for him. 

He’d prefer sex with you obviously, but if you’re not feeling it or it’s not a good time then he’ll take care of himself. In a perfect world, you could both do some mutual masturbation. He absolutely thinks of you while he does it, tho.

 K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

 Choking kink. Wow wow wow. Nothing extreme- he doesn’t feel comfortable cutting off your airflow or anything, but a hand around the throat certainly adds a nice primitiveness to the experience. 

If you choke him, however: different story.

Joe finds that EXTREMELY hot. Oh my God. It plays into his weird obsession with your hands/touch. It reminds him that you’re just as into him as he is with you, and he is a big fan of you getting a lil rough with him now and again. 

Pin him down by his throat as you ride him? He’s done for.

 L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

 Any time, anywhere- as long as he can be sure that you won’t be interrupted. There are exceptions to this (see Risk). 

 M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

 Little touches from you can really get him going. Lacing your fingers with his as you both ride in a truck from location to location. Your eyes finding his as you talk business with someone else. The gentle scratch of your fingernails through the shorter hairs at the base of his skull. You also get a certain look in your eyes when you’re feeling frisky, and the moment he sees that, sexy with you is all that he can think about.

 N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

 Doing anything to you that leaves more than a bruise. Hickeys? Awesome. Speckles of bruises on your hips from where his fingertips dug into your skin a bit too hard? Hot.

Deep shadows around your throat left behind from him holding you a little too hard? NO NO NOPE THAT’S NOT OKAY.

It reminds him too much of violence, of someone trying to escape the touch of another and being denied freedom. Once, a German soldier had tried to choke you out so you wouldn’t alert anyone of his presence and Joe. Fucking. Lost it. His brass knuckles were nearly fused to his skin by the time Joe was done with them.

Tl;dr- deep marks on his girl? He’ll kick someone's ass. He’ll kick my ass. He’ll kick his own ass

 O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

 He’s a fan of both! When he’s going down on you, he’s all about results- what will get you off the quickest and hardest. Overstimulation King (but in a good way).

When you go down on him and make a point to draw the process out as long as you possibly can, he just about cries with need. He’ll beg you to give him more so he can finally cum, but secretly he’s hoping that you’ll keep edging him bc dear god you’re so beautiful and evil and wow your nails scratching down his stomach feels good.

 P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

 FAST. Like I said before, he’s all for getting you off quick and hard. He likes the feeling of his muscles trembling with exhaustion as he pistons into you with ruthless speed, likes the way it makes your body shake and bounce and sheen with sweat. He really likes being able to just fall asleep with you afterwards, so his goal is to tire out the both of you.

 Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

 Ok, so here’s the thing- before you, most of his sexual history could be considered quickies. He didn’t like the idea of lingering too long after doing the do, so a quick fuck in the closet of a bar was his bread and butter. Remember: the quicker the better.

But since you, he’s decided that he’s good with both quickies and...slowies(?). If he’s feeling frisky while you both are out or just about to go out or in any sort of time crunch, he lets you know by coming up to stand behind you and wrapping his arms around your torso, gently pulling you back until you can feel his hardening cock against your backside. 

If you rest one of your hands on his forearm and squeeze it- then you’re not feeling it rn and he backs off (or excuses himself to take care of it bc he’s practical like that). If you lean back into him or turn your head to the side so he can kiss your cheek- it’s go time. Meet him in the bathroom, bc someone’s about to get their world rocked.

 R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

 JOe is fine with public sex as long as he knows/can predict who or what could possibly figure out what the two of you are doing. And even then, it’s going to be sneaky. You sitting on his lap with his dick in your pussy? Nice. pretending to lean over and whisper something to you while sitting at a booth (but actually fingering you? Dope.

He’ll basically go as far as you let him, but his big thing is not letting the two of you get caught by someone who will hold it over your ehad. Do’t fuck with his girl.

 S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

 Two and a half rounds- he always starts with getting you off with his hands, thigh, tongue (that’s the half round), then he cranks out the next two fast and unwaveringly. Ideally, the outcome for him is two orgasms for him and three for you. Bonus points if he can wring four out of you, but he’s not going to push it.

 T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

 Probably didn’t own any of his own, but if you have a vibrator or something he’ll definitely use it on you. Would probably consider letting you use it on him, but only once he’s used it on you a couple times.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

 Not very much in terms of edging teasing, but verbally he can be very antagonistic. 

 V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

 Loud and proud, but tries to keep the sounds in for as long as he can. You can always tell when he’s close by how vocal he’ll become. Huge whiner whenever you suck his cock or give him a handjob, bc you are so perfect and wicked that it literally overwhelms him.

 W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 Has at least one copy of the Kama Sutra. Bill gave it to him as a joke gift but Joe absolutely uses it for inspiration.

 X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

 Average length but girthy. He’s pretty proud of it. 

 Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

 Pretty high, but something he can control. He knows it’s unrealistic to be able to fuck you whenever he wants (bc otherwise, you’d never leave his bed), so he’s able to channel that desire into anticipation for the next time he gets the chance to fuck you.

 Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

 SO FAST, OH MY GOD. But he doesn’t sleep long- it’s more like a power nap and then he wakes up and helps you clean up/cleans you up himself and then gets cuddly. Then he sleeps again. What a nerd.

~ ~ ~

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