#saving my proper birthday post for tomorrow

[omarcitoloves]

he turns (2)6 today 🥳

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Hello, hope this message finds you well!!!

My birthday is tomorrow and I was wondering if I could request something for Wonwoo or Jeonghan,,, something that starts as angst and ends as fluff maybe? I've been feeling so shitty lately, sigh.

But also!!! I totally understand if you don't accept this req hehe

Have a good day/night ahead ❤️

P.S. if you accept anons, can I be 🦷 ?

Paring: wonwoo x fem!reader, jeonghan x fem!reader

Requested: yes

Genre: fluff, angst

Warning(s): cheating, a bit of violence

Summary: wonwoo cheats and jeonghan swoops in to save the day

Word count: 1.0k

Other works

Beta reader: none (its not proof read)

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

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a/n 2: hey! happy birthday!! or advanced birthday! I wanted to post a proper fic, but as its your birthday, i didnt want to make you wait. so a drabble for i shall provide :)

plus i hope you feel better soon. im rooting for you!!!!!!

btw yes i accept anons, and i would love to talk with all of you! ✨✨✨✨

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Wonwoo is a busy man. I mean of course he is. The stelar kid of the family, the only child to get a medical degree and also the one to have a fiancé at the age of thirty-one ready to get married and start his own family.

The man was just the epitome of brilliance and was always diligent and hardworking. He was filled with back up plans and made more back up plans for those said back up plans. He was so into creating the perfect life for himself, he even made sure that he has another lady in store to be on the safe side because what if this one leaves him?

Now this is where you come to play. Unbeknownst to you the doctor you had been dating for the better half of two years, has already made plans for his happily ever after with another. What is more hilarious is the one said lover of his is none other than your distant cousin.

Being a woman with normal job that requires working for normal hours in the office, you accepted the fact that you would never understand the intensive hours these doctors work. Yes there were times when he was not called on his pager but his phone and was asked to immediately go to the hospital. Yes there were times when you had gone to the hospital to surprise him only to know that he was not there. And yes he specifically told you he wanted to keep the relationship private as all his coworkers are too nosy for their good.

Should you have figured out that the one guy you were madly in love with was already set to become the husband of other?

Yes

But did you?

Absolutely not!

Maybe that is why he kept you around, you were easy to lie to or were you just a good lay?

You would never know. Funnily enough you wouldn’t have know about the woman either if she wouldn’t have come to your house after your genius of a lover forgot to turn of his location during his nightly escapades with you.

The lady came storming into the house looked around in search of the man who had wronged her all while screaming at the top of her lungs at trying to make her presence known.

You would have never felt the hurt you felt that day if Wonwoo knew how to be a loyal man to his fiancé. You would have never have to hear the words, “this is the bitch you were fucking behind my back all this time,” from that lady. While she slapped you like she hated you and took jabs at your pride.

She made you question your integrity, your life and all your actions. Was it your fault that the man who said sweet ‘I love you’s to you every night was also telling them to his beloved fiancé. Maybe it was.

But the deed was done your self-respect was destroyed. Now you would always look at the mirror and realize that it was you who was the other woman. It was you who took the beautiful fantasy of one home away from another.

You left Wonwoo that day. He never tried to call. You were never important to him anyway. He left you broken, questioning your values, your life, and your actions.

This hurt more than any breakup you had been through because it was when you realized how naïve you were, how it was easy to lie to you. It made you feel like shit and there was no going back.

You stopped visiting your family, and meeting too scared to see those disappointed looks on their faces. What if you stumbled upon her when there was a function, she would hate you and you were too scared to face anyone let alone yourself.

She got married to him anyway. It was just a small hiccup in their relationship, while it did indeed destroyed you, they were happy. It is all that mattered to them. And although you would give them the credit for moving on with their lives, you couldn’t say the same for yourself.

It was then you had met Jeonghan, the man was funny and jovial, a bit of a prankster. He was exactly what you needed to escape life. He was the breath of fresh air you needed. He anchored you to reality and let to feel the happiness of life.

The friendship you both had built, had come shattering down one day when you got to realize he was friends with none other than the man you threw you down the shameful spiral of self-hatred.

That week you reused to talk to the man, at all. He suddenly made your skin crawl. For if he were friends with a man as despicable as Wonwoo after all his deeds, how much of a monster could he actually be. You didn’t want to stick around to get to know that.

Exactly a week after that Jeonghan was standing at your door. And was ready to make you talk no matter what. And talk you did that day. You shouted at the man for a whole hour to make sure he understood you would never be the other woman again. You were fooled once but you refused to be fooled twice.

After your shouting spree, he had held you to calm you down and told you he didn’t know what had Wonwoo done. He apologized profusely for the hurt his friend caused you while relentlessly promising to never betray you.

That day he asked you for a chance and just asked you to trust him for this once and let him in your life. He promised he would make sure you never you feel any less than what you should. He promised that you were enough for him and would spend his whole life proving it to you.

Surprisingly enough he did. He never left you once after that, never let you question your worth. Now after almost thirty years. You are happy with the man. You have lived a life were you enjoyed every bit of it. Jeonghan made sure you did. With your three kids happy and settled, you both went to live in the countryside seeking the peace that comes with it. You are happy and you are sure you would trade the whole world for this happiness. But good for you, you don’t need to.

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a/n 3: i hope you liked this !!

[singledarkshade]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be since I can only choose 5 fics. If I could, I would have done my favourite 10 or 15 I’ve written at least but the rules state 5 so here they are:

Memory Wipe.

In 2012 the Doctor lost Amy and Rory to an Angel, except that wasn't what happened.

Now Rip Hunter has managed to come to terms with losing his family and is travelling through time with the Legends to stop time aberrations.

But he would really like to know who the redhead is, why he finds her so attractive and why she keeps trying to kill him.

I have to start with my first foray into Legends of Tomorrow fanfic and my first crossover with Dr Who. I wrote this after reading several Rip Hunter is Rory Williams fics that never worked for me. So, I started writing this. This was written in one of those amazing times when I didn’t lose focus and I was able to post a chapter a day.

Small Miracle

The Legends find Jonas Hunter alive. Rip now has to adjust to being a full-time single father while learning to live in one time period.

At least there are some friends to help him.

This was my first proper Legends of Tomorrow fics and where I brought back Jonas for the first time with having Rip learn to live a normal life with his son. I really loved writing this as it was the first steps Rip took to do so. I love the sequels as well, but the first story has a special place in my heart.

Real World

Being a single-parent is hard but Rip wouldn't give it up for anything.

If only his weird dreams would stop.

This was originally written as a one shot while I was procrastinating finishing other stories and I never intended to add more to the one chapter but in the end more appeared. This also spawned several sequels that I love too, but the first one is a favourite.

Walking Towards The Inevitable

She knew from the moment they were reunited where he was heading.

Each day Gideon lives with Rip is a day closer to the day he will sacrifice his life but her choices are to be with him until then or not.

What else could she do but live those days with him?

I love this because the relationship between Rip and Gideon even though she knows he’s going to sacrifice himself to save the Legends. It is a sad ending but I love it.

And finally

Magical Mix Up

When Constantine uses a spell to locate Rip, it leads them to a hospital and a nurse called Rory Williams. Taking him back to the Waverider they try to get him to remember who he really is.

While Rory's wife Amy is searching for him with the Doctor, they come across an unconscious man in a long brown duster.

This was an idea I talked about in the Rip Chat which thanks to the group became much bigger than my original idea. It was a birthday present fic for my dear friend @riphuntertimemasterlegend and was another written a chapter a day with the invaluable help from @theadrogna for historical accuracy.

Those are my five favourites but I have to mention Round And Round, The Path Not Taken, Miracle Baby, Foster Parents series, Rip Hunter - Unstuck In Time and Space series, Dazed And Confused series and The Doctor and The Nurse series as some of my other favourites.

[arcturusreads]

Never Have I Ever... Dated The Perfect Guy

pairing: devi vishwakumar x ben gross word count: 1948 words request: yes/no prompt/summary:  Benvi prompt! First date? Or secret dating after the “one free boink”  a/n: season 3 made me fall in love with benvi even more so thank you for the prompt <3 ao3 account: saiwriteswords

So, dinner tomorrow?

Devi shot up from her bed. She’d been scrolling through Instagram, leaving a comment on Eleanor’s latest post which had featured Trent and her at a make-shift Speakeasy that had definitely been Eleanor’s idea to attend. Devi definitely had not been expecting a notification from Ben. Not that things had been weird between them after yesterday. He’d been sweet and even offered to drive her home which she’d instantly declined. There was no way she was going to let her mom see her in Ben’s car. Not when things were healing between them. 

Dinner tomorrow? Was he asking her on a date? Was she reading into things too much? They hadn’t exactly figured out what they were yesterday. Just friends and yesterday was a mistake? Friends with benefits? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Enemies? 

Devi had spent the best part of the today trying to figure out where she stood with Ben, too much of a chicken to text him and find out. And now he had messaged her. About dinner. She panicked for a minute, trying to figure out what to reply. She hadn’t told Fab or Eleanor about what had happened between her and Ben so it wasn’t like she could even ask them for advice. It wasn’t the sort of news she could drop over text. Devi quickly typed out a reply and hit send before she could start overthinking it. 

Dinner is an everyday thing for me, Ben. 

That was good right? Gave off a jokey vibe, like she didn’t care too much? Or was that the wrong thing to say? Maybe now wasn’t the right time to joke. Maybe she needed to be more serious. Devi didn’t get long to freak out before the next message popped up. 

Hilarious, Devi. Truly. I’m laughing so hard right now. 

Devi bit her lip, thumbs hovering over her phone’s keyboard. What did she even reply to that? Thankfully, Ben saved her with another message. 

Seriously? Are you really going to make me ask you properly? Fine. 

Devi, would you like to go on a date with me? Dinner tomorrow at Nomura? I know it’s your favourite.

Butterflies erupted into flight in Devi’s stomach. She read over the text at least five times before it sank in. Ben Gross was asking her out on a date. A proper dinner date where they would be sat opposite each other and flirt and not have to act like they hated each other. 

Devi fell back on her bed again, a huge grin spreading across her face. So, Ben hadn’t thought that yesterday was a mistake, then. He couldn’t have if he was going to take her on a date. And he’d even remembered her favourite restaurant. She’d only mentioned it in passing, during a study session. They’d worked through lunch and forgotten to eat and the sound of Devi’s stomach had been the only reason that either of them had looked up from their textbooks. 

“Seriously, Devi? Do you not have any self-control?” 

“Dude, I can’t help it when my stomach growls. I’m hungry.”

Ben had rolled his eyes, grabbing a bag of chips from his backpack and handing them to her. “This is why you’ll never get valedictorian.”

“What? Because I’m hungry?” Her stomach growled again and she took the chips from him. “You know what I would really love right now? Sushi from Nomura. They do the best dragon roll.”

“Eh, my Dad knows Simon Cowell’s sushi chef. He catered my 13th birthday.”

Devi threw a chip at him, “Say whatever you want but Nomura is the best restaurant in the city and I’m not going to stand for any slander against it.”

Uh, hello? You know I can tell that you’ve read my messages right? If you don’t want to go, that’s completely fine. It was probably a dumb idea anyway.

Devi panicked. She had been lost in her daydream and hadn’t replied to Ben’s message in over five minutes. She was sure she’d turned read receipts off!

No no! Not a dumb idea. Her thumbs flew across the keyboard, hitting send so Ben didn’t think she was rejecting him before taking her time to craft out a better reply. Dinner sounds really good. I can’t believe you remember my favourite restaurant. 

I remember a lot about you, Devi. You aren’t someone I want to forget.

“Okay, now I just need to figure out what to wear…” 

At least half of Devi’s wardrobe was strewn across her room. She’d tried on seven different outfits so far and had hated all of them. None of them felt right for a date with Ben. She wanted this to be perfect. Devi knew she’d already messed things up with him once and she didn’t want it to happen again. The fact that Ben was even giving her another chance after everything blew her mind but she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

After another half an hour of debate and rummaging through both her and Kamala’s wardrobes, Devi ended up settling for a lilac balloon-sleeved blouse with a black skater skirt.  

“Heels? No heels? Would heels be too fancy?” A quick glance at the clock made her realise that she really didn’t have the time to debate her footwear. She grabbed a set of ankle boots, snatched her bag from her bed and ran down the stairs. 

“Gonna be late, mom. Love you, bye!” She gave Nalini a quick kiss on the cheek, barely hearing the calls for her to text when she got to Fabiola’s. 

Even though the relationship between Devi and her mom had improved significantly, Devi still wasn’t quite ready to tell her mom about her date with Ben. She needed to figure out what was going on first before she even tried to broach the subject. 

When Devi finally got to the restaurant, she was only five minutes late. From outside, she could see Ben sitting at a table, foot nervously bouncing as he stared at his phone. She rushed inside, making a beeline for the table. 

“Hey, I am so sorry I’m late. I completely lost track of time and then the traffic was just crazy on the way here and I really didn’t mean to be late. Honestly, I-”

Ben stood up, taking one of her hands and cutting her off. “You look… wow…”

He found it impossible to take his eyes off of her. Ben was used to staring at Devi over the past couple of months. He found himself automatically seeking her out in every room in the school. His head couldn’t help but turn whenever he heard her laughter. She was always beautiful. But tonight, with the glow of the sunset streaming through the window, Devi looked radiant.  

“Oh, uh… Thanks,” Devi stumbled over her words, a blush crawling up her cheeks. 

“Shall we… uh,” Ben gestured to the table with a tilt of his head. 

“Yeah, sure.”

When the two of them sat down, there was a moment of awkward silence before Devi decided that this definitely wasn’t the trajectory she wanted this date to take. “Ben, can we stop being so awkward about this? I mean, I’ve really been looking forward to this date and I love this place so I can’t have the next hour and a half just be painful silence.”

A small smirk graced Ben's lips, “Okay, how about we talk about your shoddy timekeeping skills, then?” 

“Hey, I was only five minutes late!” 

The tension quickly dissolved and the two of them fell into an easy conversation. Devi hadn’t felt that comfortable in a long time. While the two of them waited on dessert, Ben had grabbed Devi’s hand across the table, his thumb running over her skin and Devi couldn’t even try and suppress her smile. 

“Devi? Ben? Is that you?” 

Devi’s hair flew around her as he found the source of the voice. “Eleanor, Fab! What are you guys doing here?”

“Dinner, we texted you earlier to ask if you wanted to join but you never responded.” Devi winced, she’d put her phone on silent after texting her mom. She hadn’t wanted anything to distract her tonight. 

“I guess now we know why,” Eleanor eyed Ben with some suspicion. 

Ben went to retract his hand from Devi’s. Feeling his warmth leave, Devi held onto it, turning back to Ben and giving him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, sorry about that.” She looked to her friends again, “Ben and I are on a date.” 

It was hard to tell who was more surprised at that point, Eleanor, Fabiola or Ben. Fab quickly recovered, jumping in before Eleanor had the chance to say anything. “Well, I’m really glad for you guys! We just need to grab our order but we’ll get out of your hair.”

Fab began tugging Eleanor away from the table. “Hey, wait, I have questions!”

“Later!” Fab hissed in her ear before smiling at the couple. “Have a good night guys.”

Devi shook her head and grinned at Ben. “I’m sorry about them, but you should know that if you’re planning on dating me then we’re a package deal.”

“You didn’t lie to them.” Ben looked slightly in awe as he looked down at his and Devi’s hands which were still intertwined across the table. 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought you might want to hide the fact that we’re on a date. I know the girls would prefer you to be with someone like Paxton…”

Devi gave Ben’s hand a squeeze, “Ben, I’m not ashamed of you and I don’t want to be with someone like Paxton. I want to be with you. Look, I know I’ve been a trainwreck when it’s come to relationships and I’ve hurt you way more than I could ever apologise for but I know what I want now and it’s you. Fab and Eleanor… I think they’re just surprised because I hadn’t told them anything. There’s been a lot to unpack and I kind of wanted to know what was going on between us first before I told them anything. I’m sorry if you wanted to keep this quiet. It was stupid and I should have asked before I told them anything.”

“Devi, you don’t need to be sorry. I don’t want to hide this. I really don’t care who knows.” Ben would have happily yelled it from the rooftops if he could but decided that a little self-restraint was probably for the best. 

“And what is this?” It wasn’t often that Ben saw a more shy side of Devi and all he wanted to do was grab her and kiss her. 

“A start of a relationship. Where I was hoping that you would be my girlfriend.” There was not a hint of shyness in Ben’s voice as he spoke. He knew that this was what he wanted, he’d waited long enough. He knew that both he and Devi had been through a lot of growth over the past few years. The timing hadn’t been right for them before but he couldn’t help but think that now was their time. 

“Well, Benjamin Gross, I think you’re in luck because I would love to be your girlfriend.” Devi hadn’t realised how tense she had actually been about their situation. She hated not knowing things and not knowing where she stood with Ben would have ended up driving her crazy. But that wasn’t something that she had to worry about now because she was dating Ben Gross. She was his girlfriend. And for some reason that she’d figure out soon enough, it felt like coming home. 

[hwrryscherry]

The one where the reader is a singer

characters: HARRY x SINGER!Y/N

blurb: The reader is finishing up her brand-new album and as Harry comes to visit her on her last day of working in the studio, he gets to react to one of her songs, 34+35.

word count: 1.9K

author's note: HI GUYS! It’s been a week I think? Anyway, I’ll get back to school tomorrow so idk when imma post the next request but I’m hoping that it will be soon! Anyway, I want to thank y’all for the love and support on my writing and I hope that the anon who asked this likes it as much as I did. Never forget that you’re so golden and tpwk. AND ALSO, HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY TO HARRY!

    You took a deep breath right after asking for the track to be played again. To everyone else the track was perfect, but it was different for you. It just felt like something was missing and you didn't know what. And god, you were tired. You were so genuinely exhausted that if you sit up in a chair and stay silent for more than five minutes you'll simply fall asleep. You felt your eyes heaving at every blink of yours and it was only 5 pm, but you were in this studio for so long. You were inside this place for 36 hours now with no shower and no sleep. You did eat but now you were hungry again.Your shoulders were tensed up, and you couldn't feel comfortable anywhere. Not in the couch, not in the chair, not in the floor and not even stand up. All you genuinely demanded right now was to be home under your bed sheets curled up with your boyfriend of four years while taking many naps or watching many movies, but no, you needed to have this done. You needed the album to be done and were extremely thrilled to release it to your fans that were excited as well. But yes, you were so frickin' tired.

— Again... — You repeated after a long and sharp breath listening to some groans from your coworkers. You all have been listening to this one song for about an hour and a half now and you haven't actually changed anything yet. — I know, I know, and I'm sorry guys, it's just not right!

— Maybe you think it's not right, but it is and you're just making a huge deal about it. — One of your co-workers said. A girl, Lucy, one of your friends as well. You turned your head to stare at her face and gave her that glaze that made her shrug her shoulders because of it — Alright, I'm sorry.

— I'm not making a huge deal. It's just not right, and I feel like the entire album is so great and this is just wrong. Like... — You said standing up from the couch you were sitten in and walked to the table with the computers on to grab the one paper you used to write this song. You stared at it in your hands for a while as you read the letters. — See, here is the problem. So here it's "you drink it just like water" and then suddenly comes "so what you doin' tonight?", it doesn't make sense, there's something missing in here. — You go through the lyrics again as you hear more groans from the people in the room — And honestly, I'm disappointed with myself for the rest. I need to change it so badly, but I have no idea on how.

— No problem, love — You naturally said referring to his previous apologies.

   That's when you hear the sound of the door being opened. You rise your head to look at the door and see Harry, your boyfriend, walking into the room with some paper bags in his hands that contained burgers directly from In-N-Out, which was in fact your favorite Los Angeles burger place ever. He arrived in silence, trying not to make a noise for fear that you were recording something but you could note his surprised expression when he saw everyone was looking at him instead of recording.

— Sorry guys, I didn't want to disturb you. I was passing by and wanted to check up! — Harry said as he closed the door behind him and walked farther into the room. You smiled tenderly when you saw the figure of the man walking closer to you. You haven't seen each other personally in some days, and he consistently secured you so much spiritual peace, he just had such a light energy and it made you feel so good  — And also y’all had been stealing my girl for so long now! — He joked getting a slight laugh from everyone inside the studio. He approached you by wrapping your waist with one of his arms around your waist and sealing your lips together as he bends down a little.

— And Harry, technically she is maintaining us here and not the other way around — Lucy said in an ironic tone causing you to look at her quickly before letting out a deep breath and lowering your head by rubbing your sleepless eyes with the help of your hands, probably a negative result of sleep. Harry reflected the girl's words and then looked at you carefully before placing the bags on the coffee table that was next to the studio sofa.

— Why? What happened? — Harry asked encountering his gaze with yours as he crossed his arms and observed you raising your hand that contained the papers with the lyrics of your new song.

— I can't write a proper ending that I genuinely like! — You said, sounding frustrated to everyone in that room.

— The ending is good! — Another of your friends, Jaden, said as he got up and picked up one of the bags Harry had brought and then started walking again to sit on the sofa.

— Jaden, you in silence is everything to me! — You said in a mocking tone while running your hand through your hair — But you understand, don't you? — You asked Harry because he has experience with such a specific subject — It's not that it's bad, it's that I don't feel like it's ready!

— I get it! But have you already recorded? — Harry asked softly in his understanding tone. He more than anyone in this room comprehended exactly what you were feeling and he would do his best to help you since you did the same with him so many times before.

— Yes, twenty times! — Jaden murmured a little before taking a bite of one of the burgers that Harry had brought. Harry couldn't hold back the laugh when he heard the boy, as they knew each other well and Harry knew all his sassiness was based on nothing more than hunger.

— Let me hear it, so I can have some ideas to help! — Harry said looking at you, and then noticing your reaction. Your eyes widened at the man's request. It wasn't fear. It was just an apprehension and that made Harry extremely curious  — What? 

— Well... It's a little... — You said in a lower tone seeking your words.

— Promiscuous and indulgent! — Lucy and Jaden completed your sentence making Harry look at her and the boy sitting on the sofa and then Harry raised one of his eyebrows and looked at you with a smirk on his lips.

— Uh, is it about me? — Harry asked in a mocking tone, waiting for the answer that would raise his ego, of course.

— Look, let's not specify anything — You said quickly and nervously looking at the smirk on your boyfriend's face — Ok, Trevor, play the song right for the love of god! — You said getting a laugh out of Harry, Jaden and Lucy due to your despair in ending this matter.

    And Trevor did as you asked and put the song on. You sat down on the bench near the wall and crossed your arms while watching Harry's reactions. The soon as the song started everyone could notice your voice and the rhythm of it that matched the beat.

You may think I’m crazy

The way I’ve been craving

If I put it quite plainly

Just give me them babies

    You could notice Harry bouncing his head on the rhythm of the song as a sign that he liked it because you knew that he only did that to songs that he likes. And you also noticed a small smile when he listened to the end of this verse because he did remember all the times you both had talked about having a baby before.

So what you doin’ tonight?

Better say doin’ you right

Watching movies 

But we ain’t seen a thing tonight

    Again you noticed the smirk and you did smirk as well because you both knew the lack of ability that you had to watch any movie that lasted longer than two hours and you almost ended not watching anything.

I don’t wanna keep you up

But assuming can you keep it up

‘Cause then I’d like to keep you up

So maybe Imma keep you up

Boy

    Harry wasn’t looking at you, though. He was looking at the floor while bouncing his head and paying attention to the song as he was trying to catch the vibe of it and honestly you don’t know if it’s the song that had this vibe but he was looking way too hot to handle at this moment.

I’ve been drinking coffe

And I’ve been eating healthy

Know I get squeaky, yeah

Saving all my energy

    Now the chorus was about to start and you were actually excited and nervous to see Harry’s reaction of it. You two have been dating for four years now. He probably understood any little detail of this song more than anyone else.

Can you stay up all night?

F**k me till the daylight

34 35

    You started to hold back your laugh as Harry lifted his head up fastly with winded eyes and a surprised look so he could face you. It wasn’t actually your style to write songs that promiscuous so he was actually surprised at it even though he loved it. He had a smile on his face though and so did you. 

    The song kept playing as the words repeated itself and it stopped just after the second chorus so Harry passed his hands through his hair as you waited for his opinion on it. Honestly, Harry’s opinion about your music is extremely important to you because you cherish and admire him way too much and love his songs so you hope that he does too with yours.

— So... What do you think? — You asked anxiously waiting for his opinion. The truth is Harry had already listened to all the songs on his new album except this one.

— I like it! — Harry said with a smile on his lips making you breathe a sigh of relief — Maybe I can help write the rest, but they really didn't lie and it's great. The beat is good and the lyrics are catchy and everything will be fine. The point, my love, is that you are too worried! — Harry said as he approached you, placing his big, strong hands on your shoulders and massaging them lightly feeling all the tension in your muscles slowly dissolving — Relax, it's amazing! You got it!

   With Harry's help, you finished the song in less than an hour. When you recorded the rest and listened, you felt that now it was ready and now you could go home with him. It was simply incredible to know you could always count on him and to know that while you were together creativity would be present and life wouldn't be boring. After all, you had each other and had the art.

[travoltacustom]

HYPNOSIS MICROPHONE 4TH INTERNATIONAL POLL (DECEMBER 2020) Part 6: Fandom and the Future of HypMic

Thank you for your participation! These are the final results for the 4th Hypnosis Microphone International Poll. After months of work on this, we have estimates for general fandom opinions. Do you agree or disagree with the general opinions? Please let us know!

The results were held back from original posting as we were waiting to post for a month before the 2nd DRB finals (which is on Doppo’s Birthday this year.) My deepest apologies for how long this took to get out. We will be releasing these results with a section per day, with the end of these results showing the Japanese side.

Click the READ MORE to view the results.

PREFACE

The data collection for this poll received 902 votes to give us an indication of the demographic of those who consume Hypnosis Mic. This poll was open to English speakers, and thus, results may be considerably Euro/American-centric. The word ‘international’ has been used to refer to how fans are from many places around the world, but the poll may also refer to this group as ‘English-speaking’ etc. The Japanese poll had a smaller respondent pool with 400.

This poll received the most activity through Twitter, given that the series is most active on that platform. The poll was also posted on Tumblr, Facebook and the HypMic wiki. Commentary has been given on sections of the poll. These results will be available in full on from this account. The Japanese poll results shall follow about a week with comparison to this poll.

The poll was conducted from December 2020 to January 2021. This poll is UNOFFICIAL and none of the composers of this poll have any relation to King Records whatsoever.

This has been split into MULTIPLE posts due to the amount of data and limitations of tumblr.

PART 6: Miscellaneous Questions

Respondents were allowed to select up to 3 characters.

As we were processing these results, all characters have received some part of character development.

Did MTR deserve the 1st DRB win?

YES, Matenro did deserve the 1st DRB win: 73.1%

NO, Matenro did not deserve the 1st DRB win: 26.9%

Did FP deserve the Rule the Stage DRB win?

YES, Fling Posse did deserve the Rule the Stage DRB win: 83.9%

NO, Fling Posse did not deserve the Rule the Stage DRB win: 16.1%

Who do you believe will win the 2nd DRB? This was not a ‘who do you WANT to win’ question.

CANNOT DECIDE: 23.9%

Fling Posse: 21.7%

MAD TRIGGER CREW: 17%

Dotsuitare Honpo: 14.6%

Matenro: 9.6%

Bad Ass Temple: 8.4%

Buster Bros!!!: 4.7%

Who do you think will win BB vs DH, MTC vs FP, MTR vs BAT?

Dotsuitare Honpo VS Buster Bros!!!

Dotsuitare Honpo: 56.3%

Buster Bros!!!: 31.1%

Can’t Decide: 12.6%

Bad Ass Temple VS Matenro

Bad Ass Temple: 33.4%

Matenro: 50.8%

Can’t Decide: 15.9%

Fling Posse VS MAD TRIGGER CREW

Fling Posse: 44.8%

MAD TRIGGER CREW: 41.5%

Can’t Decide: 13.7%

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE IN THE MAIN PLOT OF HYPMIC?

With 902 responses, we decided not to do a table of these as we’ve already showed which characters respondents wanted to be explored more. However, we will show ‘interesting’ points that we’ve found.

INTERESTING RESPONSES

Exploration of the pre H-era Japan, what caused the war and what the war was like.

Exploration of post WW3 / H-era Japan with politics, society etc.

More female characters as either part of Chuohku, rebellion etc. Possible mixed gender crews

Revolution/rebellion against Chuohku. Referred to as “a SUMMIT OF DIVISIONS moment in canon” and later governmental reform.

Why was the Hypnosis Mic created and more on its development.

In depth explanation as to what happens after being mindhacked.

General insight into more than backstories but their daily lives and possibly romantic lives.

Introduction of more divisions / return of old characters to form new divisions

Another anime season; a proper adaptation of the manga

Why were the Yamadas ‘orphaned/abandoned/separated’ from Rei? Why did Ichiro hide what happened?

BB’s Mother/Rei’s partner - did something bad happen to her?

Jyuto’s past - how he used to be when his parents and partner were still alive.

Why did Jyuto interrogate Doppo?

Does Samatoki feel guilty for blaming Ichiro? Does he feel resentment towards Ramuda even though he figures that he was ordered to do this?

Jakurai’s history as an assassin

More on Yotsutsuji and Jakurai’s relationship

Jakurai and Hitoya’s friendship and how it ‘fell apart’

Who is the original Ramuda and why were the clones created?

Others finding out about the Ramuda clones.

Hifumi and Doppo’s childhood/highschool years.

How did Doppo’s depression get so bad?

The Dirty Dawg’s reconciliation

MAD COMIC DIALOGUE / Ichiro & Kuko / Samatoki & Sasara talking things out and addressing what happened

OTHER RESPONSES

Many responses of just “yes”, “):” “I’m” and “...”, but most importantly “I’m just kind of here for the ride”

There are many that are begging for angst, character death and “chaos”. Some have wished suffering upon certain characters but these will not be disclosed.

“For all of them to get therapy tbh”

“LGBTQ”

“A more complex plot”

“fun and crazy things”

Mentions of ships becoming canon: Hifumi x Doppo, Sasara x Rosho

There were accusations of HPMI being “sexist/misogynistic/not feminist enough” that went on to describe things that have already been addressed.

“I just wanna see Ichiro yelling “fuck you” to his dad”

Otome being Buster Bros!!! mom as well, or that she had some relationship with Rei.

“more test tube babies”

“More Doppo screams”

“(...) Whether or not Rei is worth saving or if I should just rip his tits off (...)”

“An explanation for (why) Rei is Like That”

“Rei vs the rest of the cast just because Mastermind boss battle”

“rei boobs”

“man I just hope they have a nice day. I would like to know about Kuko more :) hes funky and i think that's neat hope hes having a nice day :)))“

“More Kuko feet”

ADDRESSED REPONSES: Responses that have been answered/addressed during the 2nd DRB dramatracks to some degree.

Buster Bros!!! fighting with Rei

Jiro and Saburo no longer being dependent on Ichiro

Jiro and Saburo’s relationship being repaired / seeing eye to eye.

Jyuto’s backstory with the drug problem

How is Ramuda able to participate in the DRB if he’s being hunted down

Gentaro’s identity and brother/family.

Dice confronting Otome

Jakurai coming to Chuohku’s side

Hifumi’s trauma and who Honobono is. (Note: I hope you guys are okay after this one)

Sasara’s time as a gangster with Samatoki

Sasara/Rosho dependency

Nemu being freed from her mindhack/will she be freed.

Is Yotsutsuji still alive/comatose?

WHY DID YOU GET INTO HYPMIC?

Of 902 responses, 166 responses mentioned a character by name or song. Not all characters were mentioned but of the ones mentioned, each was mentioned:

Of 902 responses, 47 mentioned a division by name or song. Each were mentioned:

Fling Posse: 11 times

Bad Ass Temple: 9 times

Buster Bros!!! 7 times

Chuohku: 6 times

Dotsuitare Honpo: 4 times

Matenro: 3 times

Of 902 responses, 43 mentioned a seiyuu. Each were mentioned:

Here are some ‘notable’ reasons people got into HypMic:

“That's a loaded question buddy, assuming I went into this willingly. (...)”

“(...) I love how hypmic combined Male Idols, (Jojo) Stands, and a whole lot of angst in a project (with some fluff here and there).”

“Riou’s tits”

“Because I hated seeing it everywhere so I decided to learn about it before I hate it more. I've fallen deep into this hell.”

“ensemble stars made me v upset”

“I saw bald Ramuda plushie and wanted to know more about him”

“I saw Jakurai and went OOGA BOOGA.

“honestly i saw some fanart of doppo with the fattest and most juiciest ass ever and i was immediately interested, but unfortunately doppo cannonically has a concave ass and jakurai doing a brazillian butt lift on doppo’s ass cannot save it </3 i still love him though”

“Haha pretty rapper bois go brr”

“I'm gay”

“someone was hating on it on twitter and i decided to download arb”

“friend of mine told me to install enstars game, so i installed hypmic”

“I downloaded one of the songs without knowing what it was from for a two week trip into the buttfuck middle of nowhere Wyoming for a school trip in 11th grade and it’s one of the only things that kept me sane”

“Because Jakurai was a hot milf “

“Ice cream spoons”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To see the next part with comparison to the JP fandom, please follow us to the next post. To view ideas on the series’ production, go back to the previous post.

PREVIOUS | NEXT - NOTE: WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW THEN LINKED HERE

[anachronisims]

New posts resume tomorrow, so refresh on all your favorite cave-dwellers’ plotlines in the ultimate tldr catch up post!

When the last snows melted and it was safe to travel again, six couples set off in search of a perfect place to found a settlement of their own.  They could not believe their luck when they stepped over a the crest of a hillock and saw before them the lush, rich river valley upon which they would soon bestow the name “Meraki.”

After passing a large meadow with wild berries and evidence of recent animal activity, when the group found six caves at the foot of the next hillock, they knew this was their place.  They spent the next few weeks chopping down trees, settling into their new cave homes, and working together to create some common amenities at the Fishin’ Hole.  Then, their new lives began in earnest...

Tammuz:  “Howdy, neighbor!  How goes it today?”

Kimba:  “Oh, you know, the usual.  Working in the garden, trying to pull forth some food from this sparse and spotty terrain.  We’re going to need to start thinking about storing food away for the winter if we’re all going to stay healthy and strong.”

Tammuz:  “Huh.  Yeah, I guess summer probably is ending any day now…”

Lehabim:  “Yeah, I’ve got this whole five-year plan for expansion.  We fill out the area here around the Fishin’ Hole with some huts, get ourselves out of these caves and everything, then start spreading out towards that meadow we passed when we came in?  There will be plenty of space for the next generation and any newcomers we can attract.  Which we will, because Pallu and Junia are going to spread our reputation as a strong, prosperous place to settle far and wide!  It’s as easy as child’s play, when you think about it!”

Lehabim:  “Hey, so, you’re trying to be like, a shaman now, right? Like, tell us all this mystical shit from up in the stars and whatnot?”

Noel:  “Yeah, I mean, a little bit of what’s in the stars, a little bit of what’s in the trees, like that sacred bloodleaf tree there on the island in the middle of the Fishin’ Hole.  There’s a lot of ideas out there about why this is all happening, where Meraki and the rest of the world came from and who moved mountains and dug rivers and why we walk and talk and do what we do all day long.  I just love talking about this stuff, I could go on and on all day!  ALL DAY!”

Lehabim:  “If you do, you know, get in touch with the spirit world, you think you could ask them if they know how to make this bread stuff? That guy Pallu has been talking about it ever since we got here, it’s like he’s absolutely obsessed with bread. I think half the reason he’s trying to become a trader is so he has an excuse to run away from home and look for this mythical village where they supposedly make it. It’s supposed to be warm and filling and kind of soft but also solid enough to hold other food in it?”

Noel:  “Oh my stars, that’s absolutely THE most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!!” Lehabim:  “I know, right?!  But. Seriously, though, if you get in touch with the spirits, ask them for me. I’d love to beat Pallu to it… if, you know, it turns out it’s real.”

Nadii’ya:  “Good morning, Kimba!” Kimba:  “Hallooo, Nadii’ya! Sleep well?” Nadii’ya:  “Honestly? I’ve been better.  Maybe it was something I ate?  I threw up this morning.  Got any ideas?”

Kimba:  “Oh, well, it definitely might have been something you ate, but that’s not the only explanation.  You might have… you might be pregnant, new friend!  The best medical science available today says that it happened because you WooHooed. You did WooHoo, right?”

Nadii’ya:  “Uh, yeah, of course.”

Pallu:  “Did Stachia tell you her idea about giving special medals for acts of val -”

Nadii’ya:  “Let me stop you right there.  The proper reward for someone who, say, slays a boar that has roamed into the village, is to let them keep the carcass.  They risk getting gored to death to protect everyone, and then what? The village splits up the boar and hands the hero a shiny rock for their good deed?  No way.  The one who saves the village should be rewarded with the boar, they and their family should get to feast!  Why is this so difficult to comprehend?”

Pallu:  “Well, but, I mean, that’s what the boar-slayer signed up for. Protecting everyone, not feasting on a boar.  When they do the job, why should not everyone share in the feast?  Isn’t that how a community works?” Nadii’ya:  “But I could have hypothetically died!!!!!”

Kimba:  “I can see it both ways. On the one hand, you, as the warrior, are risking certain death for the benefit of the entire community, and as such, you feel like the reward should be equal to that risk.  On the other hand, Death is all around us, all the time, and we pretty much are all subject to certain death with every step we take.  We made a community to ease the burden of living with this knowledge, to share our many burdens and attempt to ward off Death as best we can.  Life is short, and why should we not all share its bounties as fully and fairly as we share our burdens?”

Nadii’ya:  “…Kimba, you’re not going to die from kissing a boo-boo. Some of us are sharing the burden of death a little more than others.”

Tammuz: “So, you’re a carpenter, eh? That means you work with… wood?”

Gandu: “That’s me, the wood master of Meraki! What can I do you for?” Junia: ::loud eyeroll::

Gandu: “So, you know my partner, Junia -” Junia: “Hi!” Gandu: “-she’s going to work on finding this village that makes this amazing drink out of wheat that makes you feel like the king of the world and makes everybody friendly.  Isn’t she great?”

Rubati:  “The reason we must light fires every single night is to protect us from dangerous animals, and also, from the spirits of dangerous animals, which can cause us even more harm!  There’s a wolf-like beast with extra scary horns that likes to terrorize Sims at night and disturb their sleep, but it’s completely terrified of fire!  Isn’t that great?”

Pallu:  “I cannot wait until I know how to make bread, holy ogres.  Mushrooms are just pretentious dirt.”

Stachia:  “Can I just say, I’m so so so so glad we all found each other and became best friends?  For months, the only Sim I had to talk to was Pallu, and, creator knows I love him, but he can be such a bore sometimes.  Can you imagine?  Endlessly traipsing through snow and forests, crossing rivers and mountains, and just ‘bread bread makeouts bread woohoo bread bread bread,’ constantly.  At least now that we’ve established a home, he can leave and go look for it and I can have some peace and girl talk!”

Saphir:  “Hey, love, guess what!”

Lehabim:  “You want to make out with me?”

Saphir:  “Well, yes, but also, Stachia asked me to be in the hunting party she’s putting together.  We’re going to start making trips to the meadow and bring back loads of food for the whole village to share.  Isn’t that a great idea?”

Lehabim:  “Sure… kinda wish I’d had it, to be honest.”

Tobiah:  “Hey!!!  Hey everybody!!  Look what I caught!!” Nadii’ya:  “I curse this pole to the depths of this Fishin’ Hole for ever and all time, may it never see the light of day or feel the breath of a cool breeze or do anything but rot into nothingness in the mud and the muck amongst the fish it so thoroughly refused to catch.”

Lehabim:  “Do you think I should make a pact with a demon to consolidate power?” Saphir:  ::record scratch::

Tobiah:  “Wait a second.  Special wheat drink.  Beer?  Are you talking about beer?”

Pallu:   “Are… ‘beer’?  Are you saying you know how to make the special wheat drink?”

Tobiah:  “I mean, more or less.  We had wheat fields all around our homeland, and you basically just take some wheat and seal it in a jug with some water and let it sit for a while and then you have beer.  It’s really not that complicated.  Anyone can do it in their own cave.  And the longer you forget about it, the better it ends up being!  It’s kind of perfect for me, lol”

Pallu:  “And this information has just been inside your head this whole time?”

Tobiah:  “I suppose so.”

Pallu:  “Did y’all make bread back there, too?”

Tobiah:  “No, no no no.”  

Tobiah:

Tobiah:  “But we did hear rumors of a village that did.  We were planning a raid on it right before Nadii’ya and I left, actually.”

Pallu:  “Did… did you find out where it was?”

Tobiah:  “Of course.  I was a Raiding Party Commander back home.  It’s actually not too far from here, now that I think about it.  Want me to give you directions?”

Rubati:   “WooHoo is weird, right?  Like, so strange how we get in the bed and you put your censored bits with my censored bits!  Is it weird, or is it just me?”

Noel: “So, like, WooHoo, amirite???”

Tobiah:  “Everybody, look how pretty!”

Gandu:  “Not really the most interesting thing going on at the Fishin’ Hole right now, bud…”

Tobiah:  “I think it’s just a little bit rude of Saphir to proposition Noel right there in front Kimba.  I mean she’s literally right there.”  

Junia:  “Why would that be rude?  Noel and Kimba both know that their partnership isn’t based on exclusively WooHooing each other.”

Tobiah:  “Sure, Nadii’ya and I feel the same way.  But that still doesn’t mean I’d want to SEE it happening, right in front of me!  Saphir’s not being brave, she’s being brazen!”

Junia:  “Hold on, how is it all Saphir’s fault?  It takes two to woo, boo.  If Saphir’s being ‘brazen,’ Noel’s being just as bad.”

Tobiah:  “Everyone expects it of Noel, but Saphir should know better!”

Junia:  “Do you hear yourself?  Of course we expect it of Noel - so does Kimba, you idiot!  She knew he was a major horndog when she decided to partner with him!  This is just the way things are!”

Kimba:  “I heard you were talking about me?  Don’t talk about what you don’t know about, Tobiah.  I don’t need anyone else to defend me, and I DEFINITELY don’t need to be protected from Noel.  So butt out.”

Tobiah:  “All I did was - ”

Kimba:  “Butt.  Out.”

Tobiah:  “Every time I see your face, it makes me angry all over again!  Just stay away from me!”

Kimba:  “Then why did you even come here?!”

Tobiah:  “Because… because… to support… because… birthday… Noel… Gaia… UGHHH just leave me alone!”

Noel:  “Everybody looking??”

Tobiah:  “Stop! Standing! Next! To me!!!”

Tobiah:  “Oh, Chipmunk, Dada’s sorry about tonight.  I’m not proud that you saw me like that.  When you’re older, maybe you’ll understand.  Sometimes sims have so many emotions at the same time that they don’t realize what they’re doing or saying to other sims.  I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.  Ms. Kimba is really a very good sim, but it makes me so confused and frustrated to think… you know what, I’ll tell you when you’re older.  Just be nice to Ms. Kimba whenever you see her, okay?”

Linus: “Okay, Dada.”

Gandu: “Did you know the Creator made me attracted to all brown-haired Sims, and that’s like, half the village?  Turns out I want to make out with just, like, everybody.” Rubati:  “…Interesting… everybody?  I never thought about kissing… everybody.”

Gandu:  “Sometimes it can be hard to tell another Sim you want to kiss them, especially for a Sim as shy as you.  Maybe it would help if you could feel like you weren’t really being yourself.  Like, you’re from the Green Eyes lands.  From what you’ve told me about it so far, you were raised not to kiss a lot of different Sims.  So just pretend you are a Sim who isn’t from the Green Eyes lands.”

Rubati:  “But… my eyes ARE green, Gandu.”

Tammuz:  “I was having the most interesting dream, I was on a date - with you, of course - and I was - I mean, we were - running after a deer, and it kept darting this way and that, and then it reached a stream and I couldn’t make the jump across it but Ga- you could, and the deer was getting away and you were telling me to come on and jump over but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t make it over.”

Lehabim:  “Saph, I’m really really sorry about before, I didn’t mean to make you think I want to rule this land with an iron fist - or any fist at all.  I want this to be a place where Sims want to come and live their lives and I think I’m the one with the best ideas to make that happen, and I know with you by my side we’ll make it happen together, and I don’t ever want to do anything to hurt you or scare you.”

Kimba:  “Have you tried summoning the dee- spirit with music?  Noel is always talking about how powerful the magic of music is.”

A Voice on the Wind: ♫ Spirits, Spirits, in the trees ♫ please come out and talk to meee ♫ I have needs and you have powers ♫ If you help me I’ll give you flowers ♫ Spirits, Spirits in the trees ♫ let me indebt myself to theeeeee ♫

.

T̲̟͔͍͙̘͖ͣ̽͒h̩̣̱͋ͧ̈ͪͨͨ́̚i̩̜̗͔̖̮͎ͣ̃̂̆͊̀̆ͮ̀s̞̯͕͍̟͎̞̦̓̓͋̀̽̐͑ ̭̳̲̲̿ͧ͊̌ͮͨc̥͈̼̺̎̇͑ͨͬ̑o̗̲͕̘ͥͫu̲̝̩͊͆͊̔ͫ̓̌̀l̦̟̭̍͌͐d̙̑͊ ̮̟̠̼͊̈̊͊ͣ̓ͧ̀b̻̲̺̝͂̂ͥ̚ͅḛ̲̮̗ͦͥ̓̿ ͈̞̯̗̭̠̬ͬͩ̊̈́̍͌̿̄f̼̹͚̲̐ͧ̍̑̽ű̹͔͑ͭ̓n̫̰̣̈ͩ̽̐̾͆

.

Noel:  “Everybody, I have to warn you to be on the lookout for ogres, or demons, or any other evil spirits of the forest… I don’t want to point any fingers - so I won’t tell you which person not sitting at this table tried to summon the supernatural today without help from me or Rubati… and so it probably wasn’t successful, of course.  But.  Just in case.  Be on the lookout, and come get me immediately if you see anything out of the ordinary.”

Dan:  “Lehabim of the Golden Eyes, the sound of my true name cannot be heard nor comprehended on this mortal plane.  Suffice it to say that I am the one who can make all your dreams come true, so long as it pleases me to do so.  Do you want riches?  Unfathomable riches?  I can make you so prosperous your mind would explode.  Power?  Dominion over this forest and all its minor creatures, dominion over your fellow sims, even unto Death itself?  Speak it, and we shall see whether I want to make it so.”

Lehabim:  “I mean, that all sounds really great, and I’d love to talk over my ideas for the village with you, but, seriously, what do I call you?  It feels weird not having a way to address you.”

Dan:  ::huff::  “Fine.  You may call me Dan.”

Lehabim:  “Dan, can I ask you something?  Are there really ogres in the forest?  It would be a huge help if we knew exactly what threats to be on the lookout for.”

Dan:  “Ogres, elves, tomatoes, toh-mah-toes.”

Nadii’ya:  “Do you ever wonder if you’ll be able to remember all the names of the new babies?” Tobiah:  “Probably.  Eventually.  I mean, I really only need to know our kid’s name at first, right?  I’m sure I’ll pick up the rest in time.” Nadii’ya:  “…what if we have twins?” Tobiah:  “Uhhhhhh.  Then, uh oh, I suppose.”

Pallu:  “So, which one is this, again?”

Stachia:  “Darah.  I think Darah.  I think we decided if you always do everything for Darah, and I always do everything for Hasrah, then we’ll never get them confused.”

Pallu:  “Right, right right right.  Okay.  Darah for Daddy and Hasrah for Mommy.  Makes sense.  We’ve got this, Stach.  We each do a diaper, we each do a cuddle, we each put one down for a nap… they’ll be toddlers in no time.”

Tammuz:  “Thanks for being here, Japhia.  I didn’t even know how much I missed you.”

Nadii’ya:  “Look at you!  How did you fit inside me?!  You look like a Linus.  Your father missed the whole birth, so he doesn’t get a say.  And I say, you look like a Linus.  Hello, Linus, who’s the biggest baby to come out of the tiniest mommy?  You are!  Yes, you are!”

Noel:  “Kimba!  You’ve done it!  You’ve birthed the most perfect bundle of perfection I’ve ever seen!  Can I name her?  Please, pretty please?  I promise you’ll like what I pick!”

Kimba:  “Ok, wha-”

Noel:  “GAIA!  The mother of the world!”

Kimba:  “That’s a lot of pressure to put on one little baby, Noel.  You sure?”

Noel:  “Gaia!  I can feel the Creator whispering it in my ear.  Gaia, the first goddess. Gaia, the progenitor of the entire future. Gaia, the mother of all simulated life.“

Kimba;  “Yeah, you’re right, that’s no pressure at all, love.  I’m sure she’ll turn out just fine.  Gaia it is, then.”

Saphir:  “Tziviah, shhhhh shhh shhhh!  Time for sleep, little doe!  I’ll be right here next to you the whole time, and when the sun comes up, we’ll start your first day on this crazy plane of semi-existence!  I have so many things I didn’t even know I wanted to teach you!”

Rubati:  Literally WHAT have I gotten myself into??

[lovemesomesurveys]

[-lastcall]

what is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? I was preparing for my Disneyland trip in February. It’s crazy that we had no idea what was soon about to happen and how quickly everything would go to shit. 

you look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? Nah.

how do you think you will look 3 years from now? The same, probably.

once you graduate (if you haven’t already) are you leaving your hometown? I’m still here.

What is your dream job? I don’t have one. :/

what would be number one on your bucket list? I want to travel.

how old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don’t know.

you get a text message. who do you hope it is? There isn’t anyone I’m hoping to get a text from.

are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Can’t help but head bob to catchy songs, ha. That’s about as much “dancing” as I do.

do you get any of your songs from LimeWire? LimeWire?? Wowww. I haven’t used that since the late 90s/early 2000s. How old is this survey?

what’s the oddest thing you are wearing right now? I’m not wearing anything odd.

you and your best friend get in a fight. why do you think that is? Bumping heads about things.

do you use the word “basically” a lot? No.

do you use proper grammar or use IM talk? I like to use proper grammar.

what is your biggest annoyance at the time? Nothing really at this current moment.

you see the person you fell hardest for. what do you do? I don’t know.

have/are you depressed? Yes, I have depression.

did you grow up in the united states? Yes.

are you dreading tomorrow? No.

i’m going to see the person i like tomorrow; any confidence boosters? Hope it went well.

do you call anybody ‘baby’? No.

if your school had a winter formal on new years, would you go? I don’t know if I would have or not.

where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Uhhh.

who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? My mom.

are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? I haven’t seen a pop up in yearsssss.

do you know a guy that has voice cracks, but it’s cute? No.

do you wear earrings on a normal basis? Nope. It’s been a long time.

what stereotype would people associate you with? *shrug*

how old were you when you realized that life goes on? I realized that a long time ago.

do you consider yourself mature? In some ways.

are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? My dad is a morning bird and my mom is a night owl.

do you like to sing? Yeah. Too bad I can’t sing well at all.

are there some songs that you will never understand the lyrics to? Yeah.

do you own a lot of picture frames? Not really.

who is your favorite author? Some current favorites are AJ Rivers, Mary Stone, and Willow Rose.

how many pillows are on your bed? Like 10 lol. I have a thing for throw pillows. I should probably put some away cause they’re taking up a lot of space.

how is your hair right now? Messy.

is your phone fully charged? No, it’s like 80 something percent.

what’s your favorite thing about the holidays? I just love that time of year between October and December. I really enjoy the holidays.

are you still in school? Nope.

how many days/months until your next birthday? Two months. :O

what is your favorite type of cake? Funfetti, white, strawberry, red velvet. Buttercream frosting with the exception of red velvet, in which cream cheese frosting is a must.

how many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? Zero.

when will you next laugh until you cry? I don’t know? I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time.

has anyone ever told you they would never leave, and did? Yes.

do you worry too often? I definitely do.

do you still speak with the person you fell hardest for? Nope. It’s been almost 6 years now since the last time.

when you get old, will you live in a nursing home? I hope not.

do you like getting pictures taken, or are you the photographer? I’d very much rather be the one taking the photos, not being in them. Ew.

who has seen you at your worst? My family.

what/who makes you laugh more than anything? My brother.

do you remember who you liked this time last year? I didn’t like anyone in that way last year. Or now.

what color is your alarm clock? I use my phone for that, which is gold.

do you look older than your age? I’ve been told I look much younger.

what color is your hair? have you ever colored it? It’s naturally dark brown, but I had been dyeing it red the past few years.

does your family put up christmas trees during the season? Well, just one - in the living room. <<<

what did you ask for, for christmas? Clothes and other miscellaneous things.

what car do you drive/plan on driving? I don’t drive.

when was the last time you were honestly surprised? Hmm.

when it is your birthday, do you have parties? Not anymore.

do you remember what you were for halloween when you were 8? No.

what should you be doing right now? I don’t have anything I need to do at the moment.

do you consider yourself social, or total hermit crab? I’m a total hermit crab.

where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Hot Topic.

is there a promise you would risk your life to keep? Hmm.

doesssssssss ittttt botherrrr youuuuuu whenn peopleee wriite likeee thisss? Uh, yes. It does. Stop.

when was the last time you sneezed? *shrug*

how long does it take for you to get ready in the morning? It takes me like an hour to get ready nowadays. I’m moving a lot slower.

look to your right, what do you see? My closet.

will you save this survey to your profile? I’m posting it to Tumblr. <<<

have you ever been in a hurricane? No.

when was the last time you gave advice? It’s been awhile. I’m not the one to come to for advice right now.

are you wearing socks? I always wear socks.

have you ever played dirty santa? No...

what do you do on christmas eve? do you visit family? The past several years it’s just been my parents, brother, and I. We do our Christmas dinner that night and watch Christmas movies. It’s very chill and lowkey, but I love it.

do you catch yourself thinking about the past/present/future the most? The past and present.

do you have annoying neighbors? Ugh, one side of us are very annoying.

what was your high school mascot? I’m not sharing that.

do you remember who you last slapped? I’ve never slapped anyone before.

have you ever back-talked your parents? Yes.

do you stand up for what you believe in? I just answered this in a previous survey and got more into it.

does you dad still live with you? I still live with my parents, yes.

when is the last time you were actually frightened? Hmm.

why was the reason you last bled? I’m constantly picking and biting my lips and they’re extremely chapped.

how many times do you blink a day? Uh, I have absolutely no idea. Who knows that??

do you wear makeup, everyday? No. It’s been almost 5 years since I’ve worn any makeup.

what’s your name, anyways? Stephanie.

[bechloeislegit]

#EatingAlone

Prompt from FanFiction User malexfaith: A birthday fic for malexfaith from her prompt requesting a BeChloe COVID-19 fic. [See the end for the full prompt.]

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"Finally," Beca muttered, breathing out a sigh of relief after reading the all-employee email from the studio bosses. The person that thought they had COVID-19 had a negative test result come back. After spending two weeks in self-isolation, Beca was ready to get out of her apartment, even if it was only to do some grocery shopping. It was almost dinner time and she only had a can of ravioli on her shelf.

Beca jumped up and ran to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth. She gathered everything she needed, including her face mask and gloves. She also opted to dress in real clothes before making her way out of her apartment. She followed all the proper 'social-distancing' protocols and made her way to the market just down the street.

She walked in and saw two people, both of whom worked there.

"Good evening," Beca said.

"Good evening," one of the workers replied. "May I help you find something?"

"No thanks," Beca said. "I'm just picking up a few necessities."

Beca walked down the aisles, placing a few things in her cart. She got to the frozen foods and stocked up on microwave meals and ice cream. She turned the corner of the paper goods aisle and stopped.

The entire aisle of shelves was bare. There was not one single pack of toilet paper or paper towels. She furrowed her brow and slowly walked the entire aisle, looking from side to side like a roll of toilet paper was going to jump off the shelf at her.

"Wow," Beca muttered. "This hoarding toilet paper really is a thing now."

Beca grabbed a few more needed items and went to the checkout. Someone had come in while she was shopping, so she stood what she thought was six feet behind them.

The cashier finished with the other person and Beca moved forward. She unloaded her cart and paid for her purchases. She packed her reusable bags and managed to get them all back to her apartment without dropping or losing anything.

Beca put her groceries away, keeping one frozen meal out to put in the microwave. She read the directions and placed the meal in the microwave, punching in five minutes. She turned on the TV and immediately changed the station from a re-airing of the President's Coronavirus press briefing from the day before.

"Moron," Beca mumbled before finding a reputable news station to listen to for the latest information on treatments and vaccines and such.

The microwave beeped and Beca got her meal. Once she was done eating, she grabbed a beer and sat in front of her computer. The TV was on low in the background while she tweeted about her trip to the market, lamenting about the lack of toilet paper. For fun, she added #NoTPtobeFound.

She posted the picture she had taken of her frozen meal once and posted it on Instagram.

BMitchNotBitch: Spoils of being single and self-quarantining with yourself. #EatingAlone

It didn't take long for the notifications to come in. Beca checked and she had several likes and a few comments on her #EatingAlone post.

She liked one post that was accompanied by a picture of a half a personal size pizza. The poster, HomeEducator, had written: This was the only thing left in my refrigerator for me to eat today. #EatingAlone

It made Beca chuckle. She was surprised when she saw a reply come through.

HomeEducator: OMG! BMitchNotBitch liked my post! #Swooning #BigFan #TheCupSongismyFave

Several new notifications popped up and Beca sat smiling and shaking her head at how one post and her liking a post could get such a reaction. Her fans were the best.

Beca re-read the post from HomeEducator and decided to send her a private message.

BMitchNotBitch: Hi. I saw your post about me liking your post and wanted to see if you were okay. Being alone during this sucks.

The response from HomeEducator was almost immediate.

HomeEducator: Is this really you? Beca Mitchell the music producer and singer?

BMitchNotBitch: The one and only, I swear.

It took a little longer for the response to come through this time.

HomeEducator: Sorry, but I had to squeal a little. I'm such a big fan and can't believe you're actually writing to me. #BMitchNotBitchFangirl

BMitchNotBitch: I don't usually 'talk' to my fans through personal messaging but I liked that you posted your dinner and that you were eating alone. Since we're both alone I thought it might be nice to have someone to chat with while sitting around by ourselves.

HomeEducator: I'd love to chat sometime. I am a teacher and we are doing remote learning so I'm busy from about nine until three on Tues, Wed, and Thurs.

BMitchNotBitch: That works out for me. I have a small studio in my apartment and will be working on some new stuff while I'm home.

HomeEducator: Anything you can share?

BMitchNotBitch: Not yet. But, if you play your cards right, I might let you hear a snippet or two.

HomeEducator: That would be so awesome!

Beca's phone pinged with a text notification; she read it and sighed.

BMitchNotBitch: I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cut this short. I got a message about some work I have to take care of. I hope we can chat again.

HomeEducator: I'm free tomorrow. How about I message you around three-thirty to see if you can talk.

BMitchNotBitch: Sounds good to me. Bye for now.

HomeEducator: Bye.

Beca checked the text again and went to work on what her boss had sent her.

~~ #EatingAlone ~~

The next day, Beca was working in her home studio when she saw her phone light up with an IG message notification. She pulled off her headphones and looked at her phone. She smiled when she saw it was from HomeEducator.

HomeEducator: It's three-thirty. Can you talk?

BMitchNotBitch: Can I get back to you in about 30? I'm in the middle of something but almost done with it.

HomeEducator: Sure. I'll talk to you in a little while.

BMitchNotBitch: Awesome!

Beca put her headphones back on and finished the track. She played it back and made a few tweaks and listened to it one more time. She smiled because it sounded better than she had expected.

"I should send HomeEducator a snippet of this," Beca thought.

Beca quickly cut out a portion of the chorus and copied it into a file. She made sure it sounded good and pulled up her message thread with HomeEducator.

"I really need to ask for her name," Beca mumbled as she pulled up her Instagram message thread.

BMitchNotBitch: What's your name? It's only fair that you tell me since you already know mine. Also, here's a little something for your listening pleasure.

Beca attached the music file and hit send. She waited for a response and started to get nervous when it took a few minutes. Beca thought about sending another message when her phone lit up.

HomeEducator: OMG, Beca! That is amazing. Are you releasing this or is someone else? When will it come out?

BMitchNotBitch: LOL. Calm down. It's for my next album which I do not have a release date for. With all that's going on it may come out on iTunes or some other music download system.

HomeEducator: Let me know when and how. I def want to hear the rest of the song. The chorus is aca-amazing.

BMitchNotBitch: Aca what? And I'll ask again, what is your name?

HomeEducator: Oops, I didn't mean to type that. Maybe I'll tell you about it someday, but today is not the day.

HomeEducator: And my name is Chloe Beale.

"Chloe," Beca mumbled liking the way the name sounded rolling off her tongue.

BMitchNotBitch: Nice name. Would it be weird if I sent you my number so we could text and maybe talk? If it is, forget I said anything. It would be nice to hear another voice once in a while.

HomeEducator: 213-555-1960

Beca sat up when she saw the message. "She gave me her number."

Beca bit her lip but put the number in her phone under Chloe's name. She sent a quick text.

Unknown Number: Hi, it's Beca Mitchell. Thanks for giving me your number. Be sure to save mine.

Chloe: Done. Can I call you?

Beca: Anytime.

Beca hit send and jumped when her phone rang almost immediately. She was surprised to see Chloe's name on her caller ID.

"Hello?" Beca said into the phone.

"Hi, it's Chloe," Chloe said. "Calling you now is okay, right? It's not weird is it?"

"Yes, it's okay, and no, I don't think it's weird," Beca said. "You have a nice voice."

"Thank you," Chloe said. "I always thought your voice was nice."

"Oh, um, thank you," Beca said. "So, you have a 213 area code. Does that mean you live in the LA area?"

"Yes, I do," Chloe said.

"Great," Beca said. "Maybe when we can get out and about again we can meet in person?"

"I'd like that," Chloe said. "That is if you're still talking to me then. I have a tendency to ignore boundaries because I want to know everything about people and that turns them off sometimes."

Beca chuckled. "Hmm, maybe I need to rethink that invitation."

She heard Chloe let out a small gasp of faux indignation.

"I'm kidding," Beca said.

"Good. So, tell me a little about yourself," Chloe said. "I mean stuff that people don't know. Like I said, I'm a big fan so I know quite a bit about you from what's posted online and stuff. I know there has to be more to you than that."

Beca chuckled again. "You're right. I am much more than what you read online or hear about in the tabloids. Let me get out of my studio and get comfortable."

"Ooo," Chloe said, laughing. "It's going to be that kind of phone call. Kinky."

"Oh, my God," Beca said, face flushing. "I didn't know I was dealing with a perv."

Chloe laughed.

"Okay, I'm in my living room," Beca said as she laid on her sofa, her head resting on the arm.

"What are you wearing?" Chloe asked in a sultry voice.

"I'm hanging up now," Beca replied, unable to keep the smile from her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Chloe said, full-on belly laughing. "I didn't realize you'd be so easy to fluster. I have a feeling we are going to be fast and best friends."

"I kind of get that feeling, too," Beca said honestly.

"Yeah?" Chloe said. "So, start talking, Mitchell."

"Yes, ma'am," Beca said. "So, I'm twenty-five and have lived in LA for six years now. Wow, I just realized it's been that long. Anyway, I moved here when I got discovered by DJ Khaled and offered a contract when I was nineteen."

"I kind of know all that," Chloe interrupted. "Tell me something that I can't read online."

"Oh, I see how it is," Beca said. "We're getting into the TMI part of our friendship. Moving kind of fast aren't we, Beale?"

"No boundaries, remember?" Chloe asked.

"Right, you did give me fair warning," Beca said. "Okay. Here's something that hasn't gotten out about me. I, um, auditioned for American Idol when I was eighteen and didn't make it past the first round."

"Shut up!" Chloe exclaimed. "Seriously? You are so talented, how could they not send you forward?"

"Honestly, I'm surprised that no one has released the video of my audition. I was pretty bad. I was so nervous and sounded awful."

"I would love to see that. I'm sure it isn't as bad as you make it out to be. I mean, you did get a recording contract a year later."

"That's true, but it wasn't because of my Idol audition. Khaled heard me singing karaoke and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Well, I for one am glad that Khaled has a better ear than those stupid Idol judges."

Beca chuckled. "Thank you. Now tell me something about yourself."

"Um, well, I'm twenty-seven and was born in Tampa. I graduated from Barden University in Georgia with an advanced teaching degree. I moved to New York where I taught for two years before I found the job I'm in now."

"You lived in New York?" Beca asked. "How was that?"

Chloe and Beca spoke for close to two hours before Beca's stomach reminded her she hadn't had dinner.

"Ugh," Beca said. "I hate to cut this short but my stomach is reminding me that I need to eat."

"Me, too," Chloe said. "I really enjoyed talking with you. I hope we can do this again soon. And by soon, I mean like tomorrow."

"I'd love to talk to you again, too," Beca said. "And you can call or text me whenever you want. If I don't answer right away, don't worry. I'm probably working in my studio. But I promise to answer as soon as I can. Okay?"

"Okay," Chloe said. Beca could almost hear her smile through the phone. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"It's a date," Beca said. "I mean, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Not like a date or anything. Just talking. On the phone. Tomorrow."

"You are so cute when you ramble," Chloe said.

"Shut up," Beca said, glad Chloe couldn't see her pink cheeks.

"Bye, Beca," Chloe said with a laugh.

"Goodbye, Chloe," Beca said, ending the call.

~~ #EatingAlone ~~

Beca looked forward to seeing Chloe's name pop up on her caller ID. They would take turns calling; if Beca called Chloe in the morning, Chloe would call Beca in the afternoon. They texted quite a bit as well.

It surprises Beca that they still find something to talk about even after two months. Funny thing is, they are both still stuck at home and don't get out much, and yet still have something new to talk about. Beca doesn't even talk to her family as much as she does with Chloe.

Beca knew Chloe would be calling soon. They had scheduled a watch party for the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and she had to get everything ready.

Beca grabbed two beers and placed them on the table in front of the sofa. She turned her TV on, barely paying any attention to Station 19 as it played in the background.

Beca checked her watch. Just then there was a knock on the door and Beca ran to answer.

"Pizza's here," a voice called out before she made it to the door.

Beca opened the door to find her pizza sitting on the floor, waiting for her. She poked her head out the door and yelled a "thank you" to the delivery guy as he waited for the elevator.

Beca brought the pizza in just as her phone rang.

"Hey," Beca said, sitting the pizza on the table and opening the box.

"Grey's will be on in like five minutes," Chloe said. "Are you set up and ready?"

"Yes, ma'am," Beca responded. "Two beers and a pizza all ready to be consumed. How about you?"

"I got pizza, too," Chloe said. "Gotta help keep the local businesses going."

"Same," Beca said. "There's a pizza place not too far from my building that has the best pizza ever."

"I don't know, Beca," Chloe said. "I think my pizza place can claim ownership as the best pizza ever."

"I beg to differ," Beca said. "It's-"

"Shhhhh!" Chloe said, cutting Beca off. "It's starting."

"Oh," Beca said. She put her phone on speaker and sat down to watch.

Beca and Chloe made comments on the characters and what was happening on the screen. A scene where surgery was being performed came on and Beca dropped her pizza slice back into the box.

"Ew, I just lost my appetite," Beca said.

"Come on, Beca," Chloe said. "It's not that bad. It's all fake."

"Doesn't look very fake," Beca said, making the mistake of looking at the screen again. "Yuck!"

"I didn't know you were so squeamish," Chloe said. "Ugh! Okay, I see what you mean. That's pretty gross. Especially when you're eating pizza."

"Yep," Beca said. "Let me know when they stop showing it."

"They're done," Chloe said, laughing. "Do you want to keep this going and watch How to Get Away With Murder with me after?"

"I would," Beca said. "But I have a Zoom interview with Kelly Clarkson at eight in the morning. I actually need to make myself presentable so I'll be getting up early to do my hair and makeup and find something decent to wear. I really should wash clothes soon."

"Can I watch the interview live online?" Chloe asked.

"I don't know," Beca said. "I know it will be on YouTube at some point. I'll try and find out and let you know."

"You don't have to do that," Chloe said. "Just call or text me when the interview is over."

"Will do," Beca said. "Goodnight, Chloe. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Becs," Chloe said and ended the call.

"Becs," Beca mumbled with a silly grin on her face. She let out a sigh and said, "I think I might be falling in love with Chloe and I've never even seen her."

~~ #EatingAlone ~~

Beca had finished her Zoom interview with Kelly Clarkson and decided to do her laundry. She wasn't that pressed to do it but she was running out of clean pajamas.

Beca gathered up a full basket of dirty clothes and put on her mask before heading down to the building's laundry room. Someone else had the same idea as Beca noticed two dryers going.

Beca made her way to the washers and starting separating her clothes and placing them in the washer. She was dropping her coins in the slot when she heard a sound and looked up. She smiled at the person who came in and furrowed her brow. The woman had stopped dead in her tracks and was staring at her.

"Beca?" the woman said. "What are you doing here?"

Beca looked at the woman. "Um, washing clothes?"

Beca could tell the woman was smiling behind her mask. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Oh, right, you don't know what I look like," the woman said. "I'm Chloe."

Beca's eyes widened. "Chloe? My Chloe?"

"I can be if you play your cards right," Chloe said with a smirk.

Chloe walked over to Beca and stopped. She put her arms out as if to hug Beca and Beca hesitated.

"I know we're not supposed to touch, but I could really use a hug," Chloe said.

Beca chewed her bottom lip and then said, "What the hell?" as she pulled Chloe into a hug.

"It is so good to actually meet you in person," Beca said, pulling back from the hug and moving away from Chloe. "Wait! Oh, my God!"

"What?" Chloe asked, confused by Beca's actions.

"Did you stalk me online and find out where I live?" Beca asked.

"No, I swear I didn't," Chloe said and chuckled. "I actually live in this building. Apartment 3C."

"What?" Beca asked. "You mean all this time we've lived this close and didn't know it?"

"Looks like it," Chloe said, pulling the mask from her face as she stepped closer to Beca.

"Wow," Beca said, staring at Chloe's face. "You're really pretty."

Beca realized she blurted that out loud and her cheeks reddened.

"I've always thought you were really pretty, too," Chloe said.

Beca and Chloe stood staring at each other. Beca pulled her mask down and let it hang around her neck.

"Um, this is awkward, but I really want to kiss you," Beca said softly.

"I really want to kiss you, too," Chloe said.

"But, we probably shouldn't," Beca said, leaning in slightly.

"You're right. We shouldn't," Chloe said just as their lips met.

Beca reached out and pulled Chloe closer by her hips. Chloe moaned into the kiss and wrapped her arms around Beca's shoulders.

"Wow," Beca whispered as the kiss came to an end.

"Same," Chloe said with a chuckle. "So, um, I know we're not supposed to go visit friends and such, but would you like to come to my apartment for dinner? I haven't been outside in almost three weeks, so I think we'll be okay."

"I haven't been outside about that long, too," Beca said. "Do you really think it will be safe?"

"I don't know what to think, to be honest," Chloe said. "But, I don't know if I can handle just talking on the phone when I know you're so close."

"In that case," Beca said. "I'd love to have dinner with you in your apartment."

"Really?" Chloe squealed, pulling Beca into a tight hug. "Is six good for you?"

"That's our usual dinner time," Beca said. "I'll bring some wine. I have a couple of bottles I've been saving for a special occasion. And I think dinner with you counts as a special occasion."

"Perfect," Chloe said and gave Beca a quick peck on the lips. "I'd better get my laundry upstairs. I need to see what I have to make for dinner."

"I have some stuff in my freezer if you need it," Beca said.

"Thanks," Chloe said. "I'll let you know."

Chloe walked over to the dryers and started folding her clothes and putting them in her basket. Beca was still standing at the washers, staring at Chloe.

"Um, Becs?"

Beca smiled at the nickname. "Yeah?"

"The washer only works if you put the money in," Chloe said, grinning.

"Right," Beca said and got her washers going. "I'll, uh, see you later."

"See you later," Chloe said and watched as Beca finally made her way out of the laundry room.

Chloe smiled and mumbled, "I am totes going to marry that girl."

~~ #EatingAlone ~~

Six months later, Beca and Chloe were having dinner together in Beca's apartment. The U.S. and most of the world was getting back into its new 'normal', whatever that is, and Beca and Chloe had been able to spend more time in close proximity. In the two months since the stay-at-home orders had been lifted, they had spent every spare moment together.

"Ooo, let's get a picture," Chloe said as she pulled out her phone.

"Why?" Beca whined.

"So, I can show you off," Chloe said. "And announce to the world that Beca Mitchell is off the market."

"You're a dork, you know that?" Beca said, smiling lovingly at Chloe.

"I do know that," Chloe said. "That's why you love me."

"I do love you," Beca said, moving closer to Chloe.

"And I love you," Chloe said, closing the distance and kissing Beca. She pulled back and said, "Now, let's let everyone else know that we love each other."

"Okay," Beca said.

Beca moved so she could wrap her arms around Chloe's waist. She put her chin on Chloe's shoulder.

"How's this?" Beca asked.

"Perfect," Chloe said and she took the picture.

They remained in the same position with Beca watching over Chloe's shoulder as she posted the photo on all the media sites.

Beca smiled when she saw that Chloe had added a new hashtag. #NoLongerEatingAlone.

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Full prompt from FanFiction User malexfaith: I was just thinking with the self-isolation that people who want to meet someone, would have to do so at the moment through the internet; meaning they would be talking for a lot longer before actually meeting, and their relationship may last longer with them already knowing so much before actually meeting.

[thomas-and-the-chocolate-factory]

Thomas and the Chocolate Factory - Chapter 2

A Sanders Sides / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Crossover

Summary: Remus Duke is the greatest chocolatier of all time, and after living the past few years a recluse, he decides to finally open his factory once again. And it's young orphan Thomas Sanders' dream to win a ticket and get to go! Will he win a ticket? And if he does, will he make it out alive?

Masterpost

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Thomas’ stomach growled as he dejectedly walked home from his paper route. He groaned, hugging his tummy as he walked, rain soaking him as he went. Curse Florida weather...

It seemed his wish upon a star had not been accepted. Instead of some miracles coming his way, things had gotten worse. Breakfast wasn’t an option for anyone at the orphanage anymore. Instead, they had to go hungry until lunch. So, Thomas had only had one meal so far today, and it wasn’t even that good. The food served as school meals cannot count as actual food. How are they allowed to serve that stuff?

He got even more annoyed when a van drove quickly past him, going through a large puddle in the process, which splashed over Thomas, soaking him even more. Thomas took a deep breath, trying not to lose his temper, glaring at the van, only to pause when he saw what van it was: a Duke chocolate van.

Thomas’ eyebrows furrowed. It was known through the town that the vans delivering Duke chocolate only left the factory after dark - something that only added to Remus’ cryptidness. Seeing one out during the day was very strange.

And it got even stranger when the van pulled to a stop nowhere near a candy store, and instead by a lamp post. An arm reached out the window, sticking a flier to it, before the van drove off.

Thomas blinked, watching it go, before his attention went back to the lamp post. He wandered over to it, reading the message written on the note.

Dear guys, gals and non-binary pals all around the world,

I, Remus Duke, am opening my factory to the public. But hold your horses, don't come running to my factory just yet! Not just anyone can come. I will be sending out five golden tickets hidden under the wrappers of five Duke chocolate bars for children to find. The five children who do find the tickets will be invited on a tour around the factory conducted by myself, and after will be given a lifetime supply of chocolate. However, one child may receive a different, special prize should I see them fit for it...

Happy hunting, and good luck!

Remus Duke

Oh. My. Gosh.

Thomas pulled the flier off of the post, needing to feel it to see it was actually real. It was. Oh my gosh, Remus Duke’s factory was opening.

After staring at the letter in shock for a few more seconds, he turned and took off running. He didn’t stop, going as fast as he possibly could until he arrived at the orphanage, practically slamming on the door instead of knocking. After a few moments, it was opened by Dot.

“Thomas, you’re soaking! Come on in, let’s get you dri-”

“Dot, look look! I saw this being put up coming back from my paper route! The factory, it’s opening! Remus Duke’s opening his factory!” Thomas pushed the flier into Dot’s hands, practically jumping up and down in excitement.

He honestly didn’t know why he was so excited. He knew full well, he had basically no chance of winning a ticket and being able to go on the tour. Well, he had a chance, but only one: the Duke bar he’d get on his birthday, which was coming up soon. But that was the only chance he’d have. Other kids would be able to get tens, maybe hundreds of bars a week. Thomas and the other children in the orphanage could only get a single one a year. Thomas shouldn’t have been getting his hopes up like he was…

“This is real?” Dot asked, drawing Thomas’ attention back to the present.

Thomas nodded. “I saw a Duke truck drive by and the person driving it pinned it up!”

“Thomas, that’s wonderful news. I bet everyone will be really excited. I’ll go spread the news, and in the meantime you should probably have a warm shower and get dry. We don’t want you getting sick, do we?”

Thomas nodded, before turning and running off upstairs and to the bathroom. One shower later, he got dressed into some clean, though still tattered and old, clothes, before running back downstairs. It was obvious Dot had told the other kids what had happened, as everyone was gathered in the living room, talking excitedly. When Thomas came in, two of the younger kids in particular ran up to him.

“Thomas! Is it true?! Is the factory really opening?!” Kai bounced on the balls of his feet as he asked.

Thomas nodded. “Yep!”

“Your birthday’s coming up!” Elliot said. “You could win a ticket and get to go!”

“I really really hope I will.” Thomas did wish on that star a few days ago… Maybe this was because of it! Maybe he was destined to win a ticket; maybe, on his birthday, fate was going to make it so that there would be a golden ticket within his chocolate bar, and that would be the good luck he wished for!

“Now, Elliot, don’t get his hopes up,” Larry said. “There are millions of Duke bars being sold every day. It’s highly unlikely Thomas will win a ticket and be able to go. It’s practically impossible in fact.”

“Larry…”

“What?” he turned to his wife, who had folded her arms. “We shouldn’t give them false hope. It’d just be cruel to make them excited and then have it torn away.”

Dot sighed. “I guess… but they don’t get much to be excited about. We should let them have something to be happy about.”

The two continued talking to each other, most of the children ignoring them and going back to their excited chatter, talking about what they thought the factory and the man who ran it would be like. Thomas was the only one who kept focused on Dot and Larry’s conversation. He guessed Larry was right, he shouldn’t get his hopes too high. Not to mention, winning a ticket would just let him tour around the factory. And while, yes, that would be amazing and a dream come true for him, it wouldn’t help with what was important. A lifetime supply of candy can’t make up for proper nutritious meals. Meeting Remus Duke wouldn’t save the orphanage from closing. He shouldn’t put so much on the idea of winning.

“Thomas? Are you okay?” Elliot must have noticed his thoughtful expression.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry. Just a little tired after school and work.” He raised his voice so all the other kids would hear and listen. “How about we put on a movie?”

Voices of agreement rang through the living room. Suggestions for movies were called out as Thomas went and got a bowl and notepad. Once the suggestions were put forward, Thomas handed out strips of paper for everyone to vote. When all the votes were in the bowl, Thomas counted.

Soon, all the kids were gathered around the living room, as well as Dot and Larry, whose discussion had ended, watching Tangled. And as Rapunzel sang, Thomas couldn’t help but wonder. In the film, Rapunzel went on a quest to get what she wanted: to leave the tower and see the lanterns. But she ended up getting what she needed: to be reunited with her family and be free from Mother Gothel.

What if something like that was true for Thomas? What if getting what he wanted -  winning a tour around the factory - would lead to getting what he needed - a new happy life and an orphanage that won’t close?

And that thought? Well, it was hard not to get his hopes up when thinking about it.

-

Patton giggled as Toby excitedly ran over and jumped up onto his bed, curling up to his side. He scratched the scruff of the dog’s neck as he settled down under his duvet. “Night, Tobes.”

Patton made sure his night light was on, before flicking off the lamp on his bedside and laying down to go to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he slept - heck, he didn’t know if he even got to sleep at all - before the door to his bedroom was pushed open, light spilling into the room.

“Sorry to wake you, Pat, but there’s something I think you’d really want to see!” Harley was smiling brightly from his doorway.

Patton rubbed his eyes, sitting up and turning his lamp back on. “What is it…?”

“Come see!” Harley came over, taking his hand, and leading him out of his bed and out to the living room. Toby followed at Patton’s heels as the boy, clutching his favourite plush toy - a frog - to his chest, went over and sat on the couch. He blinked at the TV, willing his tired eyes to focus on the bright screen. It took him a moment to realise that the blurriness wasn’t because he was tired, but because he forgot to put on his glasses before leaving his room. Luckily, it seemed his mother had seen him overlook this and gone to get them, as Harley suddenly slipped them onto his face.

“Thanks, Mum!” Patton gave Harley a thankful smile, before looking back to the screen as Harley unpaused it.

It was a news report. Patton was confused at first as to why, of all things, his mother would show him a news report. He was only ten, usually he wasn’t told about stuff in the news unless it was really important stuff.

But as the report went on, Patton found his eyes widening in excitement and shining in amazement. When the report finished, he could barely form words. He turned to his mother, who was smiling at the joy on his face. “How about I get you a Duke bar for you to have before you go back to bed?”

Patton nodded, and Harley headed off to the kitchen. Patton looked down at Toby, smiling. “Did you see the TV, Tobes?! Isn’t it exciting?! Oh, I really really really hope I get to go! It’d be a dream come true…”

Harley came back, handing Patton the chocolate bar. Patton went to excitedly tear it open, only to pause before he did so. Harley frowned. “What’s the matter, Pattoncake?”

“Nothing, I just… I’m really excited. I really really hope a ticket is in this.” Patton closed his eyes, wishing as hard as he could possibly wish, before opening the bar.

He opened his eyes.

Nothing. Just a chocolate bar. He sighed. “Oh… oh well. I guess I can always buy some more after school tomorrow?”

Harley smiled at her son’s optimism, kissing his head as he started eating the Duke bar. “I’ll give you some money tomorrow morning. Now finish that chocolate, and then it’s back to bed, Pattoncake.”

Patton nodded, munching happily at the chocolate bar. He was going to win a ticket, he just knew it! It was his dream after all. He’d eat as many Duke bars as it took!

-

Knock knock knock!

Romulus didn’t look up from his laptop as he called “Come in!” to whoever the person outside his office door was. He was in the process of writing an email to the CEO of another company and he could be about to make the biggest business deal of his life. He wouldn’t let himself get distracted by one of his workers, probably demanding a pay rise they didn’t need, and threatening a strike they would never follow through with if they didn’t get it.

“Mr Salt?”

Now Romulus looked up from his laptop, frowning. “Pryce? What are you doing here? It’s past Roman’s bedtime, you should be at home with him.”

Pryce stepped into the room. “I know, it’s just there was just an announcement on the news, and Roman demanded to come see you right after. I told him to wait in the car while I informed you, and though I know he probably won’t listen and will scream it to you whenever he gets here, I thought I should let you know calmly first: Remus Duke is opening his factory.”

Romulus’ eyes widened. “He’s what?” He paused. “This could be a great business opportunity… Possible partnership between Salt’s Nut Corporation and Duke Chocolate...”

“The news said that five tickets have been hidden in the wrappers of Duke bars, and those who win them will get to go on a tour of the factory. So, Roman will probably want you to buy as many as you can so that he can go.”

Perfectly on time, the door to the office suddenly slammed open, Roman storming in. Romulus and Pryce shared a ‘here we go’ kind of look, before Roman started ranting.

“I want a golden ticket! Get me a golden ticket !”

Romulus nodded. “Yes, of course, Roman. I’ll start placing orders for Duke bars later tonight, and you can open them when they arri-”

Roman scoffed. “Are you kidding me? I’m not opening all those bars by myself!” He paused, before a grin spread across his face. “Get your workers to do it!”

Romulus blinked at his son, before raising an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Your workers spend all day shelling nuts. When the bars arrive, make them start opening up the chocolate to find me a ticket instead. And I won’t take no for an answer!”

Romulus sighed. That would not at all be profitable, stopping production for so long… but if he didn’t do as his son said, he would never hear the end of it. The screaming… the screaming would never end. He’d need all the headache medication he could possibly afford to get through it.

“Okay, Roman, I’ll get my workers to look for a bar for you.”

The anger disappeared from Roman’s face, replacing itself with a sweet smile. “Great!” He turned, and marched out of the office. “... PRYCE! LETS GO!”

Pryce jumped at the yell. “Uh, coming!” He turned to Romulus. “Goodbye, sir.” He quickly hurried from the room after Roman.

Romulus sighed, opening the Duke website on his laptop, and starting to place orders.

-

“Excellent vault, Alexander! Next time, try not to stumble when you land. Stay strong and keep your form. Now, Logan, you’re up.”

Logan stepped up to the run, taking his gum out of his mouth and sticking it behind his ear. Rather unhygienic, he knew, but where else was he supposed to keep it? He couldn’t exactly keep chewing while vaulting, he’d choke on it.

Today in his gymnastics club, they were supposed to be doing front handsprings on the vault. Logan, however, had a little surprise up his sleeve.

He sprinted down the run, jumped on the springboard, and planted his hands on the vault, performing the front handspring with ease. However, as he pushed off the vault to land, he added in a half twist before his feet planted solidly on the mat. He stood up straight, smiling proudly as Mr Wyatt called out, “Excellent, Logan! Now, Logan just demonstrated a front handspring with a twist on the landing. That is what you’ll be learning after you’ve perfected the front handspring.” He turned to Logan as the boy walked back over, popping his gum back into his mouth. “I’m assuming you’ll work on something a little more difficult for then?”

Logan nodded. “Definitely. I’m thinking-”

He was interrupted when the door slammed open. “LOGAN!”

Logan’s best friend, Joan, was running over so fast it was a miracle their beanie didn’t fly off their head. They panted as they came to a stop in front of Logan. “Duke… opening… tickets…”

Logan went over to where his water bottle was resting at the side of the room, picking it up before running back over and offering it to Joan. They muttered a “Thanks”, taking a drink and a deep breath before speaking more clearly. “Remus Duke is opening his factory!”

Almost immediately, all the other boys gathered around Logan and Joan, yelling questions, all desperate to hear what Joan had to say. They quickly answered, explaining what they knew. “He’s released five tickets hidden in Duke bars, you need to find one to get to go!”

“Okay, the session’s over early today, boys, you can all get ready to head home!” Mr Wyatt called out. He seemed just as excited about the news as all the kids.

“Wait here, I’ll be out in a minute,” Logan told Joan before he turned and ran to the changing rooms along with all the other boys. When he arrived and started getting changed out of his leotard, his phone vibrated with a message.

Pa: You’ll win a ticket, won’t you? You’re my little champion after all.

Logan smiled, before responding.

Logan: Of course. Win or die trying.

He finished getting dressed, straightening his tie, before heading back out to Joan, the two leaving the gym.

As they started walking down the road, Joan frowned. They pointed behind them. “Isn’t the store that way?”

Logan, however, didn’t turn around. “If you want to look for a bar, go ahead. But I’m not heading to the store, I’m heading to my house. There’s no need to waste a bunch of money and time getting a bunch of chocolate bars. All I need is a little bit of research.”

Joan raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. “Suit yourself. Good luck!” They turned, heading in the direction of the candy store.

Logan continued his way home, pulling his phone from his pocket as he blew a bubble with his gum. Time to see if he could get some information about Duke chocolate distribution over the last few days.

-

“Shoot shoot shoot shoot!”

“What’s up?”

“Not much, apart from the fact there’s a fricking creeper in my house! How did you get in here?! Leave!!!”

Virgil chuckled, calmly collecting wheat from his farm in Minecraft. Andy didn’t seem to appreciate the lack of reaction from the other boy. “C’mon, Verge, get over here and help me!”

“Hmm… nah, no thanks. Not gonna put myself in harm’s way. I’m not losing all this experience.”

“Betrayal. Complete and utter betrayal, Verge. I thought you were my friend.”

Virgil shrugged. “Hey, at least I just didn’t arrive at all despite saying I would.” He paused. “Where is Missy, anyway?”

“Dunno- GOD DAMN IT! The creeper blew up! I didn’t even get close to it! Oh, my precious items...”

“Big oof.”

It was at that moment that Missy finally joined the discord call. “GUYS! MY BROTHER JUST TOLD ME THE BEST NEWS!”

“It can wait, Missy, get in the game. I need all hands on deck to rebuild my house.”

“Your house can wait, Andy! No offence, but I really don’t care!”

“Full offence taken.”

“Ssh! Ssh! Shut up, Andy! Let me speak!” Missy took a deep breath. “Guys… Pranks told me that Remus Duke is opening up his factory.”

There was a long pause, before Virgil replied, “Um… Missy, you literally gave your brother the nickname Pranks. Has it occurred to you that maybe, possibly, this could be a prank? I mean… the Duke factory hasn’t opened for years.”

“No, I mean it! I was sceptical at first as well, but I looked it up, and it’s true! Everywhere’s reporting on it. Go on, google it yourselves.”

Virgil pulled his phone from his pocket, assuming Andy was doing the same. He googled ‘Duke opening’ and, lo and behold, all the results were news sites announcing that the factory was indeed opening.

“Holy sugar honey iced tea…” Andy mumbled.

“Told ya! Five tickets are hidden in Duke bars. You find one of them, you get to go.” Missy gasped. “Hey! We should all try and win one each! Then we can all finally meet each other in person!”

“Sounds cool!” Andy said.

Virgil, though, wasn’t so sure. Whenever either of the other two brought up meeting in person, he tried to subtly decline, pretending he was busy or something. He was scared. What if they didn’t like who he was in real life? What if, after spending a day together, they decided they didn’t want to play with him anymore? “I dunno, guys… I mean, it’s really unlikely any of us will win one. Even less likely that all three of us do.”

“There’s still a chance,” Missy replied, finally joining the Minecraft server. “And hey, even if not all of us win, maybe one of us will, and that person can tell the rest of us about the factory.”

“I’m in,” Andy said. “Verge? C’mon, buddy, don’t miss out.”

Virgil didn’t know why his response was what it was, and he regretted saying it right after. But he sighed, “Fine. I’m in."

----------

Taglist: @writetherightwordsdammit

[hope-for-olicity]

Leaves of Change 5/31

Felicity Smoak returns to her small hometown of Silver Lake just in time for the Harvest Fest, she came home to get grounding and figure out what she wants to do next the last thing she expected was that she’d want to stay.

Happy Belated Birthday to my dear friend @stephswims! This one is for you! Thanks so much to @mel-loves-all for the truly stunning edit. Also full disclosure, I’m Canadian so Thanksgiving will be October.

Each chapter will follow a Fictober prompt, I can’t guarantee that I’ll post daily like last year but I will post regularly. I hope you enjoy. This and all other chapters of the story are also available on AO3.

5. “I might just kiss you.”

“Felicity Smoak, I might just kiss you!”

Oliver Queen’s ears perked up. What!? Someone was going to kiss Felicity Smoak? Someone who was not him. Hell no!

“You called, well, texted and I came!” Felicity was so relieved to find out that Caitlin’s emergency was a computer emergency, not a personal one. The cash register system had crashed, wouldn’t reboot and the customer service number was down. Until Felicity arrived Caitlin was taking cash and noted by hand what was sold, which was fine for a slow Saturday afternoon but wouldn’t cut it as business sped up in the evening. 

“I really appreciate it, Felicity, you saved me so much grief. Would you like a drink, something to eat? Anything on the house.”

“Thanks, Caitlin, I’ll take a coffee because you know I never turn down coffee. I’m just glad it was so easy to fix. I mean you told me you rebooted it but when I did it just worked.”

“I’m just glad it worked.” Caitlin looked away.

Could her friend be lying? For the first time since entering the shop, she looked around. It only took a moment for her eyes to collide with the blues starring at her. She felt her face get hot, Felicity slowly turned to her friend. “Why didn’t you just say come quick Oliver Queen is here?!”

“I…” Caitlin bit her lip. “I didn’t want you to get in your own way or make excuses. This is a good guy and he likes you. And I know that that kind of thing can freak you out. So, I came up with an excuse.” Caitlin looked down and began fiddling with her wedding ring. She slowly looked back up at Felicity, “are you mad?”

“Caitlin,” Felicity began but was cut off as a customer came to counter. She waited patiently as Caitlin filled the order refusing to look back at Oliver. But boy did she want to look at Oliver. He was so pretty. Could men be pretty? Who cares, Oliver was pretty. So pretty….

“Earth to Felicity,” Caitlin was waving her hand in front of Felicity’s face. “I’m trying to grovel, you could at least pretend to listen.”

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about Oliver?” Caitlin’s voice was tentative not wanting to rock the boat.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not staying remember. So don’t start plotting. Although,” Felicity glanced over at Oliver talking to his friend. “I have to admit,” Felicity watched Caitlin’s eyes widen, “I’m only admitting it to you, he is very pretty.”

Caitlin sighed. “He’d probably hate that description but I can’t help but agree.”

“So next time you have a massive plan of getting us in the same place, maybe you could just tell me the truth.”

~~~~~

Oliver watched Felicity talking to Caitlin behind the counter. He was so relieved when he realized the kiss you comment was a joke. But he was more than a little unnerved by his caveman reaction. 

Should he go say hi? Felicity looked away when their eyes met. God, he felt like he was in high school but he wasn’t even this nervous then. 

He looked back down at his book, knowing that he would not be able to focus on reading when Felicity was across the room. Oliver knew he would have to go over and say hello. It was the polite thing to do after all. He was raised with proper manners.

He swiped his book and coffee mug before walking to the counter.

“Hello, ladies.” Oliver smiled. Boy, he hoped he sounded more confident than he sounded.

“Oliver! Can I get you a refill?” Caitlin quickly jumped to service.

“Ahh,” Oliver looked at Felicity then back to Caitlin. “Maybe one for the road.”

“I’m on it. Felicity will keep you company while you wait.” Caitlin winked at both of them as she walked to the back.

Oliver watched Felicity roll her eyes before turning back to him. “Hi.”

“Hi to you. How was your day?”

“I actually ran into your sister. It’s so cool that she now owns the bookstore!”

Oliver smiled. He knew Thea took great pride in her shop. “Yes, I should stop by there more often.” He gripped his book in his hand,  he’d need to get the second book in this series.

Felicity looked down at the book in his hand. “Whatcha reading?”

Oliver tried to look bashful but the truth was he was enjoying it. “The first Harry Potter book. I wanted to make sure it was suitable to read to my class.”

“So, is it suitable for grade two students?” Felicity’s eyebrow rose as she asked.

“Probably not all of them. But I do think it’s suitable for their teacher. I’m going to have to swing by Thea’s shop to get the next book. You know, to further my research.”

Felicity smiled.

Man, that woman’s smile could light up a room. He’d heard that phrase before but never thought he’d actually see it. He wanted to keep her smiling. “Did you read the Harry Potter books? I know I’m late to the game…”

Felicity nodded, her ponytail bounced. “Yes, more than once. In fact, I think I have a copy of the complete set at Mom’s house if you’d like to borrow. I mean if you don’t want to buy your own. I’m sure you can afford your own but if you wanted to borrow, I can lend. I’m just going to stop talking now...where is Caitlin?” Felicity turned to look back for Caitlin.

The more Felicity babbled the more he wanted her to continue. She was so honest. It really did warm his heart. He felt better around her. “Felicity,” Oliver reached to place her’s on the counter. She looked back at him but he could tell she was embarrassed. “I would love to borrow your Harry Potter books. It was very kind of you to offer.”

“Oh.” Felicity’s mouth formed a round “O” in surprise. 

“Maybe, we could meet here tomorrow? I’ll treat you to coffee and you could bring the books?” Oliver could not resist the opportunity.

“You had me at coffee.” Felicity smiled.

I’m back! Sorry, for the delay, work and life stuff got in the way. I still intend on doing all the prompts it will just take a bit longer than October!

Thanks so much for reading! Tagging a few people. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.

@memcjo @stephswims @it-was-a-red-heeler @cruzrogue @mel-loves-all @tdgal1 @vaelisamaza @onceuponarrow @msbeccieboo @lucyyh @julieofrandomfandoms @morganashimi83

[redstarwriting]

Reliving Our Adventures

Thor x Reader

Request: “Your make it rain fic was so adorable!! Could your write more adventures about reader and Thor in the new asgardian village?“

Word Count: 1,202

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, Loki sadness, Peter Quill bullying

A/N: Imma be honest, I never usually had a big thing for Thor but writing all these things about him is making my heart do the feels thing. It doesn’t help that I just went and saw Men In Black International either. Chris Hemsworth you’re ruining my life. Anyways, thank you to the Anon who requested this! I’m happy you enjoyed “Make It Rain!” As for the rest of my requests, I will bust them out as soon as I can but if I’m missing for a day or two it’s because my birthday is quite literally *glances at fake watch* tomorrow. So if I don’t post on the twentieth, I’m celebrating being brought into this world with my family! Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

───────────────────────────────────

Buying a polaroid camera was the best decision you had ever made. Being the girlfriend of the God of Thunder made things very interesting and you wanted to capture every moment. Not only that, though. It was nice having pictures of him around when he was off saving the universe and you weren’t with him. That’s exactly what was happening now, actually. The dumbass left around a week ago to go with the Guardians and do something that would result in saving the entire galaxy and didn’t take you. Shameful. You knew how to fight and quite honestly, were probably more intimidating than him at times. Especially when you got mad. Instead, you’re stuck here in his cottage in the new Asgardian village, looking through all of the polaroids you had taken.

You come across the first one you ever took, which was of Thor giving you a very confused and ‘oh my GOD I was just attacked by LIGHT’ look while in an apron and wearing oven mitts. To make it even funnier, there was a blur of a whole batch of cookies just falling on the floor. You didn’t tell him what the polaroid camera you were holding was, and he didn’t know what it was, so that’s where the confused look came from. The hilarious squinty look came from the big flash that temporarily obstructed his vision and caused him to drop the cookies you two had just made. The cookies were a queen-warming gift for Brunnhilde, but they became food for the floor because of Thor’s reaction. “Thor! The cookies!”

“(Y/N)! That contraption!”

You giggle at the memory, seeing the very next picture you took of him. It was the exact same scene, except he was smiling and holding the second batch of cookies instead of them being on the way to the ground. You fish through all the other pictures, your eyes landing on one of you and Thor huddled together by a bonfire. You two are swallowed by a blanket that Brunnhilde knit for you two as a housewarming gift. Your head is resting on him, and he’s gazing at you. His expression is literally lovesick puppy, and it’s absolutely adorable. Brunnhilde was the one who took this candid photo, actually. It was a nice night where you all just sat back and relaxed for once. Thor knew a lot about space, actually, and that night he was telling you all about it. “It is funny how small all those stars and planets look from here, but do not be fooled. They are big. Much bigger than what you would think. It is actually quite alarming, seeing a planet from the outside for the very first time. Very big.”

The next picture that catches your eye is the one of Thor and Rocket pointing and laughing at Peter Quill who is glaring at them and just so happens to be... soaking wet. You snort at this memory as it started a prank war between Peter and Thor that is still waging on to this day. “Thor I don’t get why you want me to stand here,” Peter says, standing on the edge of the dock. “Look out at the sunset Quill! It is lovely from this specific area here, believe me!” Peter turns and looks out at the horizon, only to be pushed in the water by Thor. It was a pretty lame prank, but Rocket and Thor could not stop laughing. You snapped this picture because seeing Thor with this much happiness on his face made your heart flutter. As many good memories you have with him, there are some dark ones as well.

With that thought, your eyes focus on another picture. This one is of Thor, his back to the camera, looking out at the water. On the water were spots of fire. This picture was a darker one, as it was a memorial of the death of his brother, Loki. Loki never got a proper Asgardian funeral, and it really affected Thor. Even though Loki’s body wasn’t there, it eased Thor knowing that he finally got a sendoff that he saw as fit. You took this picture so any time Thor missed him, he could look at the picture and know that he was still there. Ironically, the very next picture was of the time you got Thor a snake. You got it for him because Bruce told you about the times his brother would try to trick and kill him as a snake when they were little. If that happened with you and your sibling, you would probably be scarred and scared of any and all snakes for the rest of your life, but this is Thor we’re talking about. He looks overjoyed. The snake’s head is coiling around his wrist as he’s holding it, and he’s looking at you like an excited child in a candy shop. “He will be named Loki!”

“After your brother?”

“Yes! He did enjoy turning into a snake and attempting to end my life when we were children! It fits perfectly!”

Chuckling, you see another picture of your silly boyfriend. He’s wearing a dollar store Thor costume. Well, not the whole thing, just the wig and the fake Mjolnir. His eyebrow is raised and he’s doing his best to look sexy, but the bright yellow strings hanging down around his head made the picture hysterical. Not to mention the styrofoam hammer in his hand being half the size of his actual hammer. “Perhaps I should do what many humans do with their hair and get highlights in this color.”

“Perhaps you should definitely not do that.”

Your browsing is cut short by a flash of light. You jump, quickly looking in the direction of where it came from only to see Thor smiling at you. “You really are the most photogenic person in all of Asgard, my love,” he says, pulling the polaroid picture out of the camera and shaking it. You run over to him, basically jumping in his arms. He laughs, kissing your head. “Miss me?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Yes, of course not. That is definitely not why you were looking at all of the pictures you have taken of me...” he starts, and you roll your eyes, cutting him off with a kiss. “Okay, fine. Maybe I did.” He grins at you, placing another quick peck on your lips before setting you down and walking over to where you were looking at all of the pictures. “I do love all of these. Thank you for trying to document everything we do here,” he tells you, sitting the newest picture down with the rest and grabbing a marker to date and title it. You walk over to him, smiling. “Of course! I wouldn’t want our adventures to go undocumented, would I?” you ask, and he smiles. “No, of course not,” he mumbles, writing the date and pausing for a second before titling the polaroid, ‘Reliving Our Adventures’ You smile as he puts his arm around you and pulls you to his side. Although you were reliving many adventures right now, you know there will be even more to come. And that thought excites you.

[violetsmoak]

Appetence [1/?]

AO3 Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251420/chapters/47997634

Blanket Disclaimer

Summary: Red Robin is investigating the disappearance of a friend and stumbles into a spot of supernatural trouble. He doesn't expect to be saved by Jason Todd, miraculously alive five years after his death and now with the inexplicable ability to commune with the dead. Meanwhile, when Jason returned to Gotham he meant to maintain a low profile and not get involved with Bat business. That was before he found out how hot his Replacement is.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: #cemetery #haunting #relics

Canon-Compliance: Alternate Universe; Jason still died but was not found by Talia when he was resurrected. All other events mostly follow the same chronology as New Earth continuity, with mentions made to events in New 52

Author’s Note(s): My attention span was really terrible today and I couldn't focus on either of my two other fics even though the next chapters of both are completely planned out. So I'm posting the start of the third (and final) story that I'm doing for the JayTimWeek/Month challenge. Also, I'm really excited about this one. I spent more time planning this than either of the other two and I can't wait to hear what you guys think!I've got work stuff to do tomorrow so there may not be anything updated until Friday.

Beta Reader: I’ll get back to you on that.

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The Bat-Signal cuts through the dark and hazy clouds lingering above Gotham City, and for a split-second, Jason Todd has the urge to drop everything and race for the roof of the GCPD Headquarters. It’s hard to ignore the nervous jump of excitement in his stomach, the phantom sensation of a domino mask on his face and the heavy drag of a cape at his shoulders.

Which makes no sense, since it’s been at least five years since I even wore that shit.

Taking a drag of his cigarette, the smoke mixing with the familiar summer smog, Jason turns his back on Gotham’s literal beacon of hope and steels himself against nocturnal threats of his own. The city is for the caped crew—because apparently, the Bat has a posse now, he thinks with only a hint of a bitter sneer—and Jason has been fighting in a different arena for quite some time now.

He takes a final drag of the cigarette, and then grinds it beneath his boots, and shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. It’s a weathered and worn thing that reminds him of one Willis Todd wore in one of the few memories Jason has of him that doesn’t involve alcohol or fists. He thinks it’s less pretentious looking than a trench coat and probably gives off fewer ‘creepy motherfucker’ vibes like the sartorial choices of certain other people. It’s also less likely to snag on things when he needs to make a quick exit while digging up graves.

Yeah, it’s a thing in his line of work.

Gotham Cemetery is a sprawling necropolis, as dark and forbidding now as it was the night he dug himself out of his own grave. Half a decade of Gotham-style tender, loving negligence has left the somber green hills overgrown and the majority of the old tombstones fallen or rotting.

You’d think in a city with the highest homicide rate in the country, the mayor would spring for better maintenance. Then again, it’s Gotham. The dead don’t pay taxes, so fuck ‘em.

Which…enough said.

Gotham and the world think Jason Todd-Wayne is dead and has been for five years now; in a way, it’s the truth. He’s no longer anything like the boy that was beaten to death by a psychotic clown, no longer the shrimp who fastidiously dyed his hair black and jumped into someone else’s cape and pixie boots just so he didn’t have to be his own screwup self anymore. He outgrew wanting to be Dick a long time ago, outgrew wanting to be Bruce, too, and embraced a whole new other set of skills to put him apart from them.

Most occultists and even homo magi need to put conscious effort and intent into calling up or even seeing a spirit. Ever since Jason died and then mysteriously got better, the dead appear to him as blatantly and a solid as the living.

John told him he was a fool to come back here.

“Someone with your gifts, they’ll drive you bloody mad,” his mentor warned him when he left London. “And I ain’t talking about the dead ones, neither.”

“You’re just saying that because Batman wouldn’t hold your hand that one time,” Jason retorted, shrugging off the concern. He is Gotham born and bred, his blood is in those streets, and he has always wanted to come home, even if it wasn’t necessarily to a stately manor or its inhabitants.

He clenches his fists.

Inhabitants that wasted no time in replacing him after he died. Jason was rotting away in fucking Arkham, and Bruce was shoving another kid into the tights.

If it didn’t involve seeing him, I would hunt him down and break his jaw.

He surveys the graveyard proper. The everyday observer considers cemeteries to be places of peace and eternal rest; quiet, if a little bit spooky. To Jason, they’re as gruesome as any major battlefield.

Spirits pack the way before him; some of them look relatively normal if dated by their clothes; many others are disfigured and bloody from whatever killed them, whether natural or unnatural. They clamor and crowd, eternally shouting to be heard, or screaming as they relive their deaths in their own personal purgatories.

In the beginning, that din almost drove Jason insane. Bruce’s teachings kept him rational as long as it could in the months after he woke up, and then John’s training helped him temper his own awareness further. By now, he can function almost normally, automatically filtering the voices out as he goes about his daily business; it’s only in places like this, where the dead outnumber the living, where it’s harder.

Jason reaches up, adjusting the noise filters in his ears—mechanical devices that need regular winding but are still more reliable than anything running on electricity of batteries. They’re like steampunk hearing aids, only instead of magnifying sound, they drown out the constant moan of the ghosts when he can’t do it himself. Just one of many methods of protection he’s learned over the years. Some are physical, like the prayer beads wrapped around his wrist or the bottle of holy water in his pocket; others—spells and symbols and mantras—are carved all over his body in tattoos and blood writing. Anything to keep the otherworld away.

“Personal space is a key to a medium’s sanity,” John told him once. “That and a good bottle of single malt scotch.”  

Jason ignores the moss-covered path that winds through the larger and more prominent mausoleums. He deliberately doesn’t search out the one in the distance bearing the Wayne crest—

(Still remembers the feel of his fingernails splitting against the wood of the coffin, choking on clumps of soil and insects.)

—and instead seeks a small structure much farther away. It’s in the furthest part of the cemetery, the shabby section almost hidden by overgrown willows. Half of the name above the doorway is obscured by vines, but it’s easy for him to make out the name etched into the stone with bold letters.

HAYWOOD.

According to the public record, Sheila Haywood’s body was returned to Gotham at the same time as Jason Todd’s. Bruce paid for her funeral and internment, which was just as well since she had no other family, and then she was promptly forgotten about.

By everyone except Jason, it seems.

It took some doing and a few weeks tracking down everyone that had worked at the same refugee camp as his mother, but he’d finally managed to collect what possessions she left behind. A colleague of hers had put them aside when there appeared to be nothing of actual monetary value in them.

A gold coin, small bone carvings of stylized animals, dainty trinkets of garnets, amber and lapis lazuli, a compact mirror, some seashells, a decorative fan, quartz paperweight, and a brightly colored feather. There was a picture of Willis in there, too, young and almost Jason’s double. No picture of Jason, though, but he hadn’t expected it.

He kept the picture but left the rest in the small wooden box, which he now removes from his messenger bag and sets down in front of the stone bearing his mother’s name. He follows that with various tools and ingredients. Black candles arranged in a star shape around the box, a chalice, a jar of detritus—teff seeds, driftwood and soil, all from the place where she died—that he sprinkles around in a circle, a handful of smooth obsidian stones to mark a pentagram joining the candles, the dagger John gave him for his last birthday, vials of oil and holy water.

Murmuring a few protection oaths, he shrugs off his jacket, leaving his arms bare, and then digs out a pack of matches to light the candles; flickering shadows dance across the mausoleum walls. He takes up the chalice to combine the water and oil, and then reaches for the dagger.

Hate this part.

Training to ignore pain doesn’t mean it goes away, and he grits his teeth a little as he draws his blade across his forearm, not deep enough to nick anything vital, but enough that the blood runs easily into the chalice. Without bothering to bandage the wound, Jason holds up the chalice in front of him and centers himself.

“Phantasma inrequietum, te voco,” he intones. “Eloguiorum mei audi: Sheila Haywood, te nominas!“ The stagnant air in the mausoleum starts to pick up. “In nominee creatricis, te impero, hic locum decede.” Hand over the top of the chalice, he swirls the liquid within, and then tips it into the open keepsake box. “Per sanguinem hominis et per sanguinem filii tui, non remane et apage! ”He strikes a match and lobs it into the box, not even flinching as the whole thing flares into flame; he intends to watch it until it burns to nothing.

“That’s not going to work, you know.”

“Jesus fuck!” Jason explodes, whirling to the right and glaring at the interrupter. “What did I say about sneaking up on me? Or just—showing up around me in general?”

The apparition in front of him doesn’t look impressed.

Sheila is still beautiful—or, at least, the side of her body that isn’t covered with third-degree burns and sections of pulverized bone—and still sharp. Cold, untouchable and self-interested.

But unlike the way she was before, she’s all-too present in Jason’s life now.

“Goddamn it,” he snarls, and against every lesson John has ever given him, lashes out and knocks the candles and detritus hard enough to send it skidding across the floor. “What the hell. I’ve done everything. You had last rites, your body was cremated, I just torched the things that had any value to you, why the hell won’t you just move on?”

“You’re asking the wrong questions,” Sheila replies, as always.

Jason scowls. “And of course, you can’t just tell me.”

She gazes at him balefully, and he runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Sheila, we’ve been over this. You can’t stay here. One, you know spirits that stick around past their time go Dark Side, and I really don’t want to have to exorcise your spectral ass. Two, it’s fucking creepy for a twenty-year-old guy to be followed around by his mother wherever he goes. What the hell is keeping you here? What more do you want from me?”

“Your forgiveness,” she tells him patiently.

“I already forgave you. Years ago.”

“You still call me Sheila.”

“That’s your name.”

“I’m your mother.”

“Who sold me out and got me murdered.”

“See? You haven’t forgiven me.”

“I have. I’m just stating a fact, Jesus…”

“Apparently the cosmic balance doesn’t agree enough to let me move on,” the ghost says dryly. “And to think, I used to be an atheist.”

“This is total bullshit,” Jason snaps, grabbing his jacket and stalking out of the mausoleum in frustration.

Three years of this mediumship crap, and neither he nor John have ever been able to figure out why the ghost of Jason’s dead mother won’t stop haunting him. Wards and sutras that keep even the nastiest spirits away from Jason don’t even phase her, and she’s inexplicably coherent.

And persistent.

As Jason stalks back through the cemetery, he can sense her in his periphery, gliding along beside him, unconcerned with his irritation.

“Can you just…stay away from me? Like you did in the beginning?” he grumbles.

“You were just learning how to communicate without going insane. I wasn’t about to disrupt that.”

“How considerate of you.”

“I try.”

“Look, I’ve had enough of the ghost-stalker thing for today. I went out of my way for this, you know. I didn’t even want to come back here. And now I’m back to the fucking drawing board.”

“It may not have been a waste of a trip,” she replies and vanishes.

“Oh, you can fuck off when it’s convenient for you,” he grumbles, though he already senses what she was speaking of.

Several yards away, a small boy, maybe eight, is clinging forlornly to an angel headstone. Translucent tears stream down his cheeks, but every now and again his face shifts, like a television caught between two channels, and his mouth widens into an unnatural smile.

Jason could have gone the rest of his life without seeing that smile again.

Still, he sighs and heads toward the kid.

“Hey,” he says, keeping his voice low and maintaining a safe distance from the boy, whose head whips up to stare at Jason in sudden fear.

“Who are you?” he asks, voice thick with tears.

“I’m Jason. You okay, kid?”

“I can’t find my mom,” the boy murmurs, wiping at his face. “I keep going looking, but I forget the way home. And then…I always end up back here.”

He sounds on the verge of tears again; it’s something Jason can understand.

With the puzzling exception of Sheila, who appears to come and go as she pleases, most ghosts are stuck in certain patterns and paths when they die, frozen in an infinite loop until they break themselves out of it or until some arbitrary higher power decides they’ve suffered enough. And for some reason, Jason can break them out of it.

“You could always try again,” he suggests. “I think you’ll manage it this time.”

The boy shudders. “There’s scary people here.”

No arguing with that.

“I know. I see them, too.” Jason glances at the headstone, scanning the name and dates. “Your name’s Cole?”

“Yeah.”

“If you’re missing, there are probably people looking for you. They might have posted something online about it. I’ll check it out, but it could take a bit.” He holds up his phone, glad to see it’s at full charge and bars; that’s hit or miss around so many ghosts. “Can you hang around here until I’m done?”

The boy nods, silent, face flicking back and forth between sadness and the unnatural smile.

Fucking Joker…

Jason does a quick search of the kid’s name, pulling up obituaries in the Gotham Gazette in the past year. It doesn’t take long for an article to pop up concerning the Joker’s latest escape and a list of the dead.

He narrows his eyes, startling the kid.

“It’s fine,” he lies. “The internet is just really slow.”

“Or our phone is really bad,” Cole tells him with the blunt honesty of a kid that grew up constantly surrounded by functional technology.

“Everyone’s a critic…”

Another quick search for the parents, phone lists and social media, and he’s got an address. Crime Alley, of course. He brings it up on his map and enables a view of the street, holding the phone out to the boy. “Is this your house?”

Relief settles and settles over his face. “Yeah.”

“What if I helped you find your way home?”

Cole makes a suspicious face. “I’m not supposed to go anywhere with strangers.”

“Which is really smart. But you see, I’m not really a stranger.”

“Oh yeah? Why not?”

“Well, I’ll let you in on a secret.” Jason bends down, conspiratorial, and Cole’s eyes gleam the way any kid gets when hearing a secret. “When I was a little older than you…I was Robin.”

The boy gapes. “Like…Batman and Robin?”

“Exactly.”

“No way!”

“Way,” Jason smirks, crossing his arms. “And I’ll tell you all about it on the way to your house. Including the time that I stole the wheels off the Batmobile.”

“No way!”

Despite his scandalized disbelief, the kid is obviously hooked.

Jason’s heart clenches a bit at the open curiosity on Cole’s face, the reality hitting him that this boy will never have a chance to do anything mischievous or fun ever again.

From one dead boy to another, this sucks…

As he leads him out of the cemetery, Jason starts to tell the little ghost about his life. He edits out the less pleasant bits, like dying and returning to life half brain dead with the ability to see and hear ghosts.

He figures a good story is the least he can do for the boy.

⁂⁂⁂

Next Chapter

[allthe-queens-men]

Day Seven - Photography

John and Roger go through their old photo albums.

…………………………………………………………………

John had a large desk and a small computer, and this suited him just fine. His attention was so often pulled in so many directions that he needed plenty of space for papers and documents and maybe a sandwich. Even in retirement he never stopped working –it felt wasteful to sit around, and now that the children were all grown the enormous house could feel so empty sometimes.

But now John was buzzing with excitement and the desk was carefully littered with dozens of photo albums. He was seventy years old today, and the whole family was coming over for a little party.

It was Roger’s idea, of course, to have a proper party. John would’ve been happy enough just spending the day with his loved ones, his husband and children and grandchildren (four little ones and counting!). But he hadn’t opposed the idea of putting up some balloons and streamers, and he could never say no to cake.

They wouldn’t be over for several more hours, though, so John was busying himself with an early birthday present from one of their sons: a digital photo frame. John was delighted upon opening it, but quickly realized he had very few photographs uploaded to his computer. So, for the sake of preserving their memories and making use of his gift, he got up before sunrise that morning to dig out their old albums and start scanning them. He smiled watching the white laser move across the film, relieved to know their happiest moments were being saved now forever.

Roger hated the laser, thinking it was somehow hurting the photographs. John had given up trying to convince him otherwise.

“What have you been up to?” Roger asked, standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame. John turned and smiled over at him, and explained, earning a small shudder from his husband that made John laugh. Roger pulled up a chair to sit next to him, somewhat reluctantly letting John put the photos through the scanner before he’d rescue them and slide them back into the plastic sheets.

“I’d say we’ve done a fair job of capturing these moments,” John said with a smile as they finished the first of seventeen albums.

Roger hummed in agreement or acknowledgement, sliding the first photo out of the next book and taking a moment to look at it, and cringe. “I’ll never forgive myself for that shirt.”

John laughed again as he took it and set it in the scanner. “I think it was Freddie’s shirt, wasn’t it?” He quickly swallowed around the small lump in his throat that formed whenever he thought of Freddie. The years and steady counseling have made the loss a bit less painful to remember, but it was always a delicate subject. Roger knew to never bring up Freddie to John if it could be helped, although he’d started lately to test the waters, always with a pang of guilt but hoping it would help John to cope a bit better. And John appreciated not being coddled. But it would always be difficult.

“No, he just wore it so often that you’d think so. And I’m not happy to admit that.”

John’s smile gradually loosened. He patted his husband’s hand. “Next photo, please.”

They went on like that for most of the morning. Their reminiscing was interrupted only by a call from Brian to wish John a happy birthday –“I made a post about it on my Instagram,” and he sounded so excited that he must’ve forgotten that neither John nor Roger used Instagram— and a text from their eldest daughter confirming what time they were expected. The text had inexplicably been sent to Roger, but John snatched it away and answered. Roger was, after all, quite hopeless a texter.

“I’ve got better things to do, and they make the keys so small!” He still had a flipphone, and they were all grateful for that. “If they want to talk to us, they know they can call.”

But John was quite distracted as he opened the fourth album of the day –their wedding photos. Had six years really gone by so quickly? Perhaps when you’re seventy time seems to move much too fast. They were happy years, at least, and happy memories from that day.

Roger peaked over to see what his husband was looking at, and huffed a laugh. “A good reason to throw a big party.” That was what the wedding had mostly been to Roger, and John was okay with that. They’d been living together almost forty years by that point –openly together since ‘94 when they adopted their first child… they had been in a state of As-Good-As-Married since at least the mid-80s to when they could make it official in 2015. So the actual wedding didn’t have to mean as much to Roger (already lukewarm to the institution at best) as it did to John.

But to John, that day was special.

“I’m surprised I hadn’t scanned these already,” he mumbled, fingers even more gentle with these than the crumbling 70s photos.

They spent a half hour or so saving these memories to their own folder. Once they were done, John rubbed at his eyes and wrinkled forehead and asked for a break. Roger looked at him in confusion (this was his activity, of course he could take a break), but agreed. “Let’s get some breakfast: your favorite, birthday boy.”

John smiled softly and followed Roger downstairs. His smile grew as he took in the decorations: bright colors that made him feel like a boy again. Not that John remembered any birthday parties from his childhood, but these pastel decorations made some warm feeling bubble up in his stomach, and he just wanted to hug and kiss the man who adorned their house like this. And he would, but later.

They sat together with plates of eggs and toast and sausage in their little breakfast nook. The dining room table was much too big for just the two of them, but would be used later on for the party. But once his belly was full on just half his food, and the warm bubbly feeling subsided with it, John started to feel much more morose.

He was seventy years old.

If he was lucky, he might have another ten years left. He couldn’t imagine carrying on much longer than that. Their oldest grandchild was seven –he’d perhaps see her graduate from secondary school, maybe her first day of university, but what about the younger children? Their second daughter had another baby on the way, and they all expected there would be more to come. Would he be there to see them grow up? Would they get to know their Grandpa at all?

He looked across the table at Roger, obliviously finishing his breakfast, and felt a knot in his stomach.

It wasn’t at all the first time John had thought like this. He’d lost enough people in his life for death to be quite a constant in his mind. “I’d like to go back to counseling,” he’d said on more than one occasion, including this morning, drawing Roger’s attention back to him.

“Alright. I’ll call Dr. Brunswick tomorrow, see if he’s available. If not, we’ll get someone even better.”

John’s mouth drew back in a tight smile. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life thinking about death.”

Roger reached across the table for his hand –a small gesture where words wouldn’t suffice. John took it gratefully. One day all of this would be gone, but right now they had each other, and in each other they had everything.

[stormtrprinstilettos]

Chameleon - Ch. 8

Summary: (slow burn!) Reader (that’s you!) moves to London, hoping to leave her past behind and find happiness. She makes friends with her new neighbors. (Guess who?) - So far we’ve established that Reader & Freddie are BFF, Reader & Roger have a thing and it probably should be more, and Reader & Brian are now working on their issues. {If you’re a new reader, please know that there is no proper summary to the story. I have no idea where this is going and take my direction from messages and comments that I get, so interact with me! I don’t bite!} 18+ please! [A/N: I know. I know. I’m sorry. This one is fluffy and angsty. You may want to quickly recap chapters 1, 2 and 4 because this chapter makes references to things and conversations from those. Yes, rapid fire posting of the last 2 chapters, but it’s not happening for the next one because I honestly don’t know where I’m going yet.] Word count: ~ 6.8k | Warnings: language (as always), angst, some talk of domestic violence. Tagging: @chocolatealmondmilkshake @thisjustfantasy @clogwearingspacepoodle @rogerrhqpsody @reedusteinrambles Ch 1 | 2 | 3(1)(2) | 4* | 5 | 6 | 7* (*=smut) || AO3

Your mind has drifted somewhere else. You’re sitting at the restaurant, your plate of food in front of you and you’re playing around with your fork. You’re thinking back to when you were 12 and in Marrakech with your mom, wandering around the souks, enjoying the chaos, sights and smells of the spices at the stalls. You were hearing your mom bartering with a Persian rug dealer in perfect French. You always wished you had paid more attention when she tried to teach you the language. You wished you had paid more attention to a lot of things she tried to teach you. You wished you had learned her strength. You needed her today, but she was gone.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, but you’re really not. It was a habit you picked up when you were with him – flashing back to happier times when you didn’t want to hear him yelling at you and chastising you about whatever wrong he thought you did. He wasn’t doing either of those things right now, though. He was being pleasant, a far cry from the person you knew him to be. “You know how my mind wanders sometimes.”

He holds your hand to stop you from fiddling with your fork in your food. “What I was saying was that I want to apologize for everything I’ve ever done to you. I was an asshole. A terrible person. I want you to know that I deeply regret everything.”

“Yeah, okay,” you tell him. It’s hard to believe anything he says. You don’t trust him, and you never will. You just want to get through this lunch and send him on his way. You drop your fork and pull your hand away from him. “I’m sorry, Mark, this is just weird. And awkward. And…” He drew his hand back and an apologetic look crossed his face. “Honestly? I don’t even want to be here with you right now.”

“I’m not here to cause problems, Y/N. I want to make amends.” His eyes fall to his lap and you start to frown. “I really am sorry. For everything.” You stand up from the table and he looks up, moving his hand to hold on to your arm. “Please don’t leave. You didn’t even eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” you gritted. “I lost my appetite when you showed up.” You start to walk away.

“Wait! Y/N! Please just…” He gently tugs at your arm. “Tell me what’s going on with you. How things are going. How’s your life like. I just want to…” You turn and sit back down. “I just want to know you’re okay.”

You were skeptical of the sincerity in his voice. He used that ploy every single time you’d leave and you’d go back every single time. “Things are wonderful. I’ve gotten away from everything that ruined me, I’ve made amazing friends, and I’m free. Finally.”

“And this guy I met. Does he treat you right?” he asks.

“Freddie. His name is Freddie. He’s my roommate, my best friend,” you inform him. “He saved my sanity when I first got here.” You chuckle as you tell Mark about how you met, and he seemed to be genuinely interested in everything you were saying.

“I’m glad you have someone taking care of you. Not that you can’t take care of yourself! I’m glad you have someone to lean on.”

Mark keep yammering but you’re not paying him any attention. You see Brian and Jane following the restaurant hostess, and they’re being seated at the table next to yours. Brian stops by your table and looks over to Mark, who stopped talking once he realized you weren’t listening to him again. “This is Mark,” you tell Brian before you turn to to continue the introduction. “Mark, this is my friend Brian and his girlfriend, Jane. Brian lives next door. He’s in the band with Freddie.” They shake hands, and you can see that neither one of them trusts the other. Jane seethes as she sits down, glaring at you.

Mark had started talking again, but you weren’t listening. You didn’t care about anything he was saying. “How did you find me?” you hastily interrupted him. “Just stop with the bullshit. How did you know where I was?”

“Lisa,” he started to explain. “Lisa told me that you might be here.” She was your best friend. Keyword: was. Lisa was there the day you met Mark. She was the first person you always went to when you were back home. She was always the one person you depended on, until you found out at your father’s funeral that she had been his little plaything for years. It disgusted you. You haven’t spoken to her since. “She’s worried about you.”

You chuff and roll your eyes. “Worried, I bet. Probably more worried that her sugar daddy died and I’m the one with all of his money and she’s not getting any of it.” All of this was growing more sickening by the second and it was becoming harder to not cause a scene. “Thank you for lunch but I really have to go.” You start to move back from the table.

“What about dinner tonight?” he asked.

“I have plans.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Plans.”

“Monday?”

“I have plans. Whatever day you ask, whatever time, I already have plans,” you snap. “Look, I’m not going to pretend to be okay, or to be happy you’re here, or act like a friend, so stop trying.”

“But, Y/N…” He reaches out to grab your hand again, but you quickly pull it out of his reach and grit your teeth.

“You destroyed me, Mark, and you think popping up unannounced and uninvited and some lunch and a few words of apology is going to make everything okay?” You start to cry, not out of sadness, but out of sheer anger. “You destroyed me. Don’t you understand that? Destroyed me.” You wipe the tears from your face with frustration. “I was 16. Sixteen, and fragile and you took advantage of that.”

He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, a smug look on his face. “You came with me willingly, Y/N. Don’t act like I kidnapped you.”

You slammed a fist on the table. “I was sixteen. You were 25. Do you not see the problem?”

He grabbed your wrist and his smugness turned to ire. “I never forced you to do anything. You were always willing.”

“Because I was terrified of you.” Yank your arm away, trying not draw attention. “I didn’t want any more bruises.”

He starts to indignantly chuckle. “If you were so ‘terrified’ then why did you always come back?”

“Because you were what I thought deserved.” You stand up from the table and look at him, angrily, this time throwing those spears with your eyes. “But now I know that I deserve so much more than a piece of shit like you.” You grab your purse, sling it over your shoulder and walk out.

Mark tries to follow you, but Brian reaches out an arm to stop him from passing, having heard every single thing that just transpired. “If you ever go near her again,” Brian starts, “I will make sure you regret ever stepping foot in London.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Liberated. That’s how you feel. Mark may have been in London to fix his conscience, but you were the one who was truly rewarded. You finally stood up to him. Sure, there was more you could have and wanted to tell him, but you stood up to him, and that was more than enough to satisfy you. There was absolutely nothing that was going to stop you from floating. When you got back to your building, you ran into Freddie outside and greeted him with a huge smile on your face. When he saw you happy, he gave you a huge smile in return. “It went well. I closed that chapter in my book. I finally slayed that dragon.”

“Oooh, a warrior princess,” Freddie joked. “Maybe you’ll need a sword to go along with that tiara.” He grabbed you into a hug. “I’m proud of you. I was worried it was going to be a disaster.”

“Where are you off to?” you ask as you pull out of the hug. Freddie gives you a sneaky smirk. “Ah, a secret. You’ll just have to tell me later.” He gives you a kiss on your cheek and scurries off.

When you walk in the flat, you throw your purse and keys on the table by the door and are surprised when you notice someone standing in your living room. “Holy shit, you scared me!”

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Roger says in a soothing voice, smile on his face, holding a bouquet of sunflowers and a small box in his hand. He wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow so this truly was a surprise.

You walk up, throw your arms around his neck and kiss him. Not some emotionless kiss. You mean it, and he means it when kisses you back. After, you both stand there, gazing into each other’s eyes, smiling with relief. “Oh yeah?” he asked with a pleased grin.

“Yeah,” you smiled back.

“What was that for?” He asked with a smile. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Because I wanted to. Do I need a reason?”

“No. Not at all. It was quite nice.”

“Nice? That’s it?”

“It was impeccable.” You giggle and give him a flirty slap on his shoulder before he moves back and does a silly, aggrandized bow. “For the lady, I bring gifts,” he says in a dramatic voice as he holds out the flowers and box.

“Sunflowers,” you smile. “My favorite.” You give him a quixotic look, wondering how he could possibly remember that. You only ever mentioned it once in passing when you were both on your way to a movie one afternoon when you saw them in a store window. He shook the box to get your attention, antsy for you to open it. Inside you find a gold and jade bracelet and start to cry.

“Is that the one?” he asks. You look at him with happy tears and shake your head yes. He puts the flowers down on the table and helps you put it on. A few weeks ago, the two of you were wandering around the shops in Camden and you saw it in the window of an antique store. You told him that your mom had one just like it and that she used to let you wear it whenever the two of you would dress up for a fancy dinner.

“I can’t believe you remembered,” you whisper. He looks at you and gently smiles before moving your hair behind your ears, holding your face his hands and wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

“I remember everything,” he jokingly growls before guiding you over to sit on the sofa. “Anything interesting happened while I was gone?” He keeps up the joking, knowing good and well you were just getting home from lunch with Mark, and pulls you in to cuddle with him.

You rest your head on his shoulder and quietly chuckle. “It went fine,” you tell him. “I didn’t let him win.”

“Good,” he says as he kisses the top of your head. You tingled inside every single time he did that. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

“I missed you,” you whisper, snuggling yourself closer.

He laughs softly. “Well you don’t have to miss me anymore. I’m here.” He pulls you closer to him before moving his hand up to play with your hair. You don’t know if he felt comfort in doing that or if he knew you loved it. Either way, you were perfectly fine with him always playing with your hair. “I missed you, too. I even left at an ungodly hour so I could get home as soon as possible.”

You missed him more than you thought you would, and you thought it was silly that you missed him as much as you did. He had only been away for a few days. You missed this – the safety and comfort he brought when he held you like he’s holding you now, the feeling that everything was going to be okay. “I never had this before,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

He gives you another kiss on the top of your head. “I never had this before either,” he whispers. “Never wanted it before.” His hand continues to fiddle with your hair as his body shifts slightly, and he softly clears his throat, reaching down to grab his cigarettes.

“I talked it out with Bri,” you told him as you stood up to go grab a couple of beers from the refrigerator.

“You talked to Brian?” he asked, surprised. “Without strangling him? How long was I gone?” He lit two cigarettes at the same time, one for him and one for you, as you walked back in, handing him a beer as you sat down.

“We fixed everything,” you told him, matter-of-factly before taking a sip of your beer. “We’re even going watch the meteor shower tonight.” His eyebrow raises and he flashes a half grin. “Oh stop,” you tell him, “Like you’d take me down there to watch it.”

“I’ll share you for a little while but later tonight, you’re all mine.”

You jokingly roll your eyes and sigh. “Oh alright, I guess you’ll do.” You give him a snide smirk.

He calmly puts his cigarette in the ashtray, takes yours from you and does the same before looking back and you and giving you the same snide smirk that you were giving him. “I’ll do?” He throws himself on top of you, tickling you and you’re laughing hysterically. “I’ll just do?” You’re trying to stop him, but he grabs both of your hands and holds them down as he leans over, kissing the tip of your nose. “You’re lucky I picked you to spend the night with.”

“Over who? Lyla?”

“It was a hard decision, but you came out on top.” He gives you a quick, hard kiss. “You give better blowjobs.”

You laugh and push him off you. “Watch it, or you won’t get anymore.”

He stands up and turns on the radio and a slow song is playing. “Ah, I heard this one the other day. It’s nice.” He looks over to you and gets a silly grin on his face. “I love this song,” he said, mocking your movements and the way you told him the same thing at the club that night you two first slept together. You started laughing so hard you had tears. “Dance with me.” He grabbed your hands and pulled you up to him, wrapping your arms around each other.

“You’re an idiot,” you tell him through laughter while he still has that silly grin on his face.

“Y/N?” he asks, still mocking you. “You’re cute.”

You start to play along, this time mocking him. “Cute? Just cute? I’m offended!”

The grin falls into a sincere smile. “You’re beautiful.” He pulls you close to him and wraps his arms around you as you lay your head to his chest, closing your eyes, hearing his heartbeat. He rests his chin on top of your head and sways the both of you to the music coming from the speakers. You enjoyed every moment spent with him, but these were your favorites – when he would hold you close, making the world around you disappear.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“Rog is okay with this?” Brian asks on the car ride.

“I don’t need his approval,” you giggle. “I’m not his property.”

“You didn’t tell him?” He was a bit surprised, but grateful.

“No, I told you – our secret.” You wanted to tell Roger about that afternoon with Brian, if only to not have any problems caused further down the road if he did find out, but you weren’t in any kind of commitment with him, so you justified keeping it a secret.

Brian raises his eyebrow before asking his next question. “Did you tell Freddie?” He knows you tell Freddie everything.

“Freddie figured it out all on his own. He won’t say anything. If he does he has to pay John 10…” You stop yourself as Brian looks at you, slightly humored.

“So the bet was real,” he murmured as he parked the car. You looked over to him, slightly horrified that he knew more than he told you. “The last practice, they were talking about it. I thought they were joking. Clearly you know about it,” he laughed. He looked out the window and groaned. “It’s fucking cloudy. We may not see much.”

“Typical,” you start laughing. “We can’t ever have a date that goes smoothly, can we?” Brian appreciated the jokes. He was worried that after everything that happened you would feel awkward around each other. Seeing that you didn’t helped him not feel anything odd.

Brian reaches into the backseat and pulls out a present. “Here. A little something for your birthday.” He smiles and hands you a wrapped gift.

“Oh, Brian, you didn’t have to…”

“I know, but I wanted to. Go on. Open it.”

He waits patiently as you carefully unwrap the small trinket box embellished with a picture. Your mouth drops open. “Brian… it’s…”

“Yeah,” he whispers softly. You run your hand over it, tears starting to form in your eyes that you’re desperately trying to hold back. It’s Rembrandt’s portrait of Andromeda Chained to the Rocks. “Do you like it?”

You throw your arms around him and give him a tight hug. “I love it.” You can’t stop the stray tear from falling down your cheek. “You, Roger and Freddie are the greatest. You’ve all made today one of the best. I don’t know what I would do without you guys.” You give Brian a kiss on the cheek as you slowly move away, and his eyes start to pierce yours.

He hurries and pulls away, not wanting to upset the distance you two created that night by the river and looks out of the car window. “Looks like there’s more clouds coming,” he says with a quiver in his voice. “Maybe we should just go home.” You keep looking at him, hoping to get him to turn back to you. “We can catch the next one.”

“Brian?” you call out to him, and he turns to look at you. “I mean it. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He smiles appreciatively. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either, Y/N.” He clears his throat and starts the engine. “Let’s get going. No reason to sit here.”

After a few minutes in silence, he looks over to you and sees you still running your hands over the picture on the box and notices your new bracelet. “I see Rog gave you his present?” You smiled and shook your head, your eyes diverting to your wrist. “He was proud of that one,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, I was surprised he remembered,” you whispered. “We saw it in Camden. My mom had one just like this.”

“Wow,” Brian said, impressed that Roger was so thoughtful. “I was wondering why he was so insistent we go to that shop.” You looked at him with a curious face. “Last week when Freddie told us today was your birthday. He made us go there because he knew exactly what he wanted to get you.”

A shocked look fell over your face. “You went with him?” You were smiling.

“Yeah,” he giggled. “We all went. Me, Rog, and Fred.” His giggle turned to a laugh. “Fred give you his present?”

“Yes, he did. I wore it all morning.” Your laughter gave way to an awkward silence. “Hey, Bri? Sky blue.”

“Ha, I was just about to ask.” You we’re both struggling to make conversation, not because of a lack of things to talk about, but because neither of you knew if bringing up the topics each of you wanted to would be a good idea.

He doesn’t head straight home, taking the longer route and driving through the streets of the city with no particular destination. “Where are you going?”

“I’m being spontaneous,” he laughs. “Someone told me once that I should be that more often.”

“Ah, must have been a wise person who told you that,” you chuckle.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“He’s a good guy,” Brian spurted out with no warning once you arrived back to the flat. “He cares about you more than he cares about himself, Y/N, and that says a lot.” You look over at Brian, who doesn’t meet your stare. “I was worried because I’ve seen him with others before, but you’re the first person he’s ever put above himself.” You look down at your bracelet and smile as you start to run your fingers over it. “He makes you happy. You smile anytime you think about him.” You look over at Brian and he’s smiling at you. “He does the same when he thinks about you.”

Your face turns serious and you start to gaze out of the window. “I’m not used to any of this. Part of me wants to ruin everything so I won’t get heartbroken first.”

“We’re not all like Mark,” Brian tries to reassure you. “If Rog ever turns into that I’ll kill him myself.” He started to chuckle at his joke, but you didn’t react.

“I’m scared to let myself feel, Brian.”

“We’re not all like Mark,” he tells you again, putting a hand on your leg. “Some of us do appreciate a remarkable girl when we meet one.” You dart your eyes to him and he clears his throat, rushing to move his hand away.

“I’m far from remarkable,” you whisper. “I’m nothing special.”

“It pisses me off when you do that,” Brian says, exasperated, as he hits his hands on the steering wheel before gripping it tightly. “You don’t see your own worth and what you’re worthy of.” He releases his hands, relaxing himself. “That asshole broke you, yes. Now it’s time to let someone else fix you.” He points down at your bracelet, making sure you look down and see it. “That wasn’t bought by someone who sees you as just a friend he likes to shag occasionally.” You look up at Brian, who is looking at you with encouragement. “Let him fix you.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When you walk into the flat, you see everyone there – Roger, Freddie, John, Gemma. Freddie runs up to you quickly and excitedly. “There she is!” He puts your tiara on your head and you both start cracking up laughing. “Come here, there’s someone I want to introduce you to!” He grabs your hand and rushes you into the kitchen.

The first person you see is Jane, much to your chagrin, but she smiles and hurries over to you and grabs you into a hug. Your arms are completely limp, and you look at Freddie not knowing what to do. You slowly move your arms up to hug Jane back. She starts to talk low in your ear. “We must talk later, okay?” She moves back and looks at you, smiling. You shake your head and she goes back to the oven. You are beyond confused right now.

“Princess,” Freddie calls you over. “Meet Mary. My friend.” He put strong emphasis on the word “friend,” and you knew exactly what he was implying. “As you can see,” he turned to Mary, “we only allow pretty girls around, so you’ll fit right in.” He kissed her on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Y/N, it’s so good to finally meet you,” she says as she holds out her hand, which you quickly shake. “He talks about you so much I feel like I already know you.”

Before you could answer her, you feel Roger sneak up behind you and pull you close. “Now you know where Fred was always sneaking off too,” he chuckled. “We like her. We’re going to let him keep her.”

Freddie released his grip on Mary and tugged her arm. “You’ll have plenty of time to gab. Right now, you must meet Brian.”

You turn to face Roger, his arms still wrapped around you. “How was the sky?” he asked with a smile.

“Eh, it was too cloudy to see anything, so we didn’t stay.”

“How much longer do I have to share you for? There’s something I want to discuss…”

Before you could answer, you hear yelling coming from the living room. It’s Brian, and he’s yelling louder than you ever thought he could be. “I told you to leave her the fuck alone!” You look to Roger, then back at Jane who is still standing by the oven, all three of you with shocked looks on your faces. You all rush to the living room to see what’s going on.

Gemma and Mary run towards you, stopping you and Jane while Roger pushes his way to where the males have all congregated in the middle of the room. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought he was a friend of yours,” she starts to cry. “I let him in. I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay,” you tell her, but you don’t look at her. You’re worried about what’s happening between Brian and Mark.

Mark tosses a book to Freddie before turning and walking to the door. “Make sure she gets this,” he grumbles before walking out and slamming the door. No one says anything, too stunned to even move.

“Who the fuck was that?” Roger asked before it dawned on him. He turned to you, looking at you for confirmation of his suspicion. You shook your head and he took off running out the door, with Brian, John and Freddie following him.

You and the rest of the girls stay still, not knowing if you should follow or stay inside. You keep looking at each other, hoping one of you would make a move, but no one knows what to do. “Brian told him at the restaurant if he came near you again he would regret it,” Jane tells you.

“Who is that?” Mary asks. You start to laugh, and they all look at you like you’re insane.

“This is why I don’t celebrate my birthday.” You take a seat on the sofa and grab a cigarette from a pack that’s sitting on the coffee table. “They always start great,” you say before lighting it. “But they always end completely fucked up.” You take a slow drag and lean back, crossing your legs. “I’m sorry you’re all having to witness to the circus that is my life.”

Jane sits down next to you and puts a hand on your knee. You glance over at her, wondering why she’s being so nice to you. “I heard what he was telling you at lunch,” she started. “No one deserves that, Y/N. No one.”

“Not even me?” you ask with a sly grin.

“No one,” she says firmly. “I know you and I didn’t get off on the right foot, and I take my blame in that. But I would never have acted the way I did with you had I known.” She sighs and takes a deep breath. “Don’t get mad at Brian, but he told me some things today and…”

You look up and Mary and Gemma and explain, rather nonchalantly. “That was Mark. He’s my ex. He used to beat the shit out of me.” Their looks turn sympathetic and they come to sit by you. “No, you’re not allowed to look at me like that,” you say with a smile. “Do not pity me.”

“Y/N has been through a lot and…” You cut Jane off before she could finish.

“And it’s made me stronger. Like I said, don’t pity me. There are people out there who have dealt with and are dealing with much worse.” You don’t want a pity party. You don’t wallow in misery about any of it, not anymore, and you don’t want them treating you like some delicate flower.

Jane looks over to Mary and Gemma, feeling like she needs to explain more, although you wish she wouldn’t. “Brian has always been so defensive of Y/N, and I would get so infuriated because I thought he was in love with her or something, but it turns out he was just being a protective friend.” You close your eyes and try to help the sinking feeling in your stomach go away. “Y/N and I haven’t gotten along,” she says as she puts a hand on your shoulder. “But I hope all of that can change.” The timer in the kitchen starts to go off and Jane jumps up, startled. “Uh, dinner is ready!” All of you start to laugh as she rushes into the kitchen, followed by Gemma.

Mary moves to sit next to you, your eyes still closed as you take a hit from your cigarette. “Y/N?” Her voice is tinged with concern. “I know I’m the new girl here, but is there more than just some ‘protective friendship’ going on between you and…”

“Oh, God,” you mumble as you open your eyes and glare at Mary before you start to laugh again. “As I said, my life is a circus.” Her concern starts to relax, but you can see she’s curious. “It’s nothing, honest.”

She smirks, and you realize that she may be privy to more information than you first thought. She is with Freddie, after all. “That’s not true,” she chuckles before starting to whisper. “Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.”

“It was one time,” you adamantly whisper back. “That’s it.”

You want to make sure she understands, but the guys walk back inside laughing and patting each other on the back. “That’s been taken care of,” John tells you, excited by whatever had transpired. “He won’t be coming back.” Gemma runs in from the kitchen and grabs him into a hug.

“That’s John’s birthday present for you, Princess,” Freddie says with pride. “Didn’t know he had it in him.”

You look over to Brian and Roger who are both looking at you. “John! Your hand!” you hear Gemma yell in the background. “Let’s get you some ice!” You head more talking and mumbling, not paying any attention to any of it. You can’t stop looking and Brian and Roger, and they couldn’t stop looking at you, until something or someone distracted Brian and he walked away.

Roger’s expression is blank, as is yours, not knowing how to process everything that just happened. He waves you over, and you go to him. He grabs you into his arms and holds you tight. “I wanted to kill him, Y/N. I never wanted to hurt anyone as much as I wanted to hurt him.” He kisses the top of your head, and that’s all it took for you to release the built-up tears you didn’t know you were holding in. “I won’t let anything happen to you. None of us will.” He moves to look down at you, and you look up at him. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere quiet. You’ve had a long day.”

“But…” you point back towards the kitchen and he stops you.

“They’ll understand. Come on.” He grabs your hand and walks you to his flat.

Finally, you think to yourself. Silence. You get comfortable on the sofa while Roger grabbed some beers before joining you. You look up and smile at him as he sits down next to you. He hands you a beer as you take one of his cigarettes. You know he has things he wants to know. After lighting your cigarette, and one for himself, he leans back into the corner of the sofa and lets out a deep breath. You take this as your cue to start talking.

"I met him when I was 16. I was with my friend Lisa at the record shop, whining about being too young to go to Monterrey. They were having a big music festival out there the next week. We wanted to be hippies, but we didn’t even have a car.” You start to chuckle and look at Roger, who is looking and listening to you intensely. “Mark heard us and told us that he was headed out that way and would give us a ride. So, I went home and packed a bag. Left a note on the kitchen table for my dad and hopped in his car, by myself. Lisa didn’t come. She got scared.”

Roger can’t help but laugh. “I look at you now and can’t picture you as one of those flower kids or whatever they were called.”

You laugh as well, thinking back at how ridiculous everything really was, but you started to get introspective about it all. "Free love was a nice concept, but none of them ever wanted to know me. To know my hopes, my dreams, my likes and dislikes. My favorite flower..." The two of you share a sweet smile.

“My grandma and mom both died in a two-year span. My dad was an asshole. I was alone. When I met Mark he promised me everything,” you say as you roll your eyes, trying to fight back your tears. “A couple of years later I stole enough money from the son of a bitch and got a train ticket back home from Phoenix. I begged dad to forgive me and let me back home. He did, gave me a job at his company, but never missed the chance to tell me how worthless I was.”

“Dad was a hard man. Everything with him was hard. His attitude, his work ethic, his drinking.” You look over to Roger to make sure this sudden bout of spewing wasn’t making him uneasy. He was listening closely, so you continue. “He had a massive heart attack a year later. Left me with all his shit and the flat. Then Mark showed back up and I wanted to travel. We saw the world together. Anywhere we wanted to go. It should have been an amazing time.” You take a deep breath before continuing. “But I saw the Andes Mountains with a black eye. Strolled La Rambla with a broken arm."

He wants to hold you. He wants to comfort you. But he lets you finish. He’s starting to get emotional, too, listening to you pour your heart out to him like you never had before. “He decided he wanted to do that fancy meditation shit in India, so I took it upon myself to buy him a one-way ticket to New Delhi. That’s how I got rid of him.”

He grabbed your arms and pulled you into him, holding you tight and gently pushing your head to lay on his shoulder, playing with your hair. “I don’t know how anyone could ever make you feel like that, Y/N. I don’t know how anyone could ever want to hurt you.”

“Well, he did a good job at it.” You wrap an arm around his waist and snuggle in closer. “I went back home after he got on the plane. I thought I would be better, but I only got worse. I was still trying to find that one thing I was missing.”

He thinks back to the first real conversation the two of you had a week after you got here. “Love,” he whispered.

“Loneliness is the worst feeling, you know? Especially when you have everything. You sit at home, you look around at everything you have, but there's no one to talk to. No one to share any of it with." You look up at him, tears still staining your face, and smile as you hold a hand up to his face. “But then I came here and from the very first day I knew I would never be alone again.”

“No, you’re not alone, and you’ll never be alone as long as I can help it,” he said softly, returning your smile. You laid your head back on his shoulder and he started to play with your hair again, relaxing you, and the two of you sat in silence. Your breathing eventually got slower and you eventually drifted off to sleep. As you did, he whispered to you, hoping you would hear him, even if in your subconscious. “You deserve the world, Y/N. I want to be the one to give it to you.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You woke up the next morning on Roger and Brian’s sofa, covered in a blanket and a pillow under your head, hearing the two of them talking from one of the rooms in the back. “They said we can use the studio late at night, but we’re a couple hundred short of what we’ll need to cut the demos,” you heard Brian telling Roger.

“Shouldn’t be that hard to get it,” you hear Roger reply as they make their way back up to the living room. “Fred and I can get that in about a week at the stall.”

“Or I can give you the money and you pay me back by writing a song for me,” you tell them, surprising them because they didn’t know you were awake and listening to what they were saying. You started to giggle when you saw the looks on their faces. “It doesn’t have to be on the first album. I’ll wait for the second.” They were speechless. “Okay, third?” They still gave you no response. “Fourth. That’s my final offer.”

They look at each other and smile big cheesy smiles before turning back to look at you. “Really?” Brian asks. “You’d do that for us?”

You look at them with an unamused look. “After everything you guys have done for me, it’s high time I repay you however I can.” Roger opens his mouth to talk but you stop him. “Shush. I insist. Let me do this.”

“Did you just ‘shush’ me, Y/L/N?” he jokingly asks.

You stand up and walk over to them. “Yes I did, Taylor, now are you taking my money or not?”

“We’ll have to talk to Fred,” Brian says. “If he says…”

“No!” you yell. “Do not tell him. He won’t agree to it. I tried to give him money the other day to buy a jacket he was looking at when we were shopping and he wouldn’t take it. There’s no way he’s going to take it for this.” They both looked back to each other and shrugged. “Good. It’s time you start listening to me.” You start heading for the door but turn back around. “Thanks for letting me crash on the sofa last night.”

“Anything for our Princess,” Brian chuckles.

“I think she should be promoted to our queen,” Roger jokes.

“Hmm,” you say as you tap a finger to your lips. “That’s a great name for a band.” The three of you start to laugh before you bid them goodbye and head back to your flat.

Brian looks at Roger who is smiling to himself. “She’s a good one, Rog.”

“She’s pretty great.” He smiles, just like Brian told you he does when he thinks about you.

“Are you ever going to tell her how you feel?” Brian asks with a raised brow. Roger looks puzzled and Brian starts laughing. “Your ego makes your head too big to fit through the door sometimes, but you’re scared to tell her, aren’t you?”

“What if she doesn’t…” Roger stops himself, looking to Brian for reassurance. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way about me?” He starts to laugh. “My ego couldn’t handle the rejection.”

Brian gives Roger a friendly slap on the back. “Well look at this. The teacher needs advice from the grasshopper,” he says, humored by the fact that it was Roger feeling nervous about a female this time. “She feels the same. Tell her.”

[pjstafford]

Precious Time

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”  A tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens

 I have been posting blogs every Thursday as a way to mark the passage of time of each week  since I started working remotely and going out only for essential needs.  I think many of us our redefining our relationship with time.   So I have been thinking of the quote from Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities

The passing of time is a scientific, incontrovertible fact.  The sun rises and it sets and there is a day. The moon rises and it sets and there is a night.  Winter turns to Spring and then to Summer and then to Fall.  When it repeats a year has slipped away.  Time is, also, a social construct.  We say 9-5 Monday through Friday is a typical work day and there might be some logic to that, but there might be logic to 7-5 four days a week as well. We have Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, but some cultures add a tea or late supper. A midnight shift worker still gets lunch –even though his lunch is at 3 a.m. we don’t call it breakfast in the middle of the work shift.  The lunch hour is a social construct of a work life.  We mark our seasons and plan our celebrations based on Holidays that cross countries like Easter or Passover and that don’t Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July.  Those are societal or cultural norms that we put in place to structure our time.  

In this, the Spring of 2020, time has simultaneously sped up and slowed day and our social construct of time means next to nothing at all – even as we are in the midst of what is commonly called “Holy Week.”  

I mark the time on Thursdays –

             Thursday March 5th was my birthday.  A friend and I went to a restaurant for dinner.  There were ten deaths in the country from the disease.  I worried if my trio to DC in two weeks would be canceled.  

             Thursday March 12 with the first confirmed case in New Mexico and the governor taking swift action I conversed with my boss about what swift action our agency would take to follow the governor’s lead and then I proceeded out of town to a work related trip that would last the week-end.

             Thursday March 19 I woke up with my first day to work remotely and socially distance except for essentials.  I wrote my first quarantine blog.

             Every Thursday since…

             And now its Thursday April 9 and 14, 000 across the country have died.  

 It’s happened all so fast! And time is so precious.  There are steps we can take to reduce the deaths but we started so late.  We must today do whatever we can to get more beds, more ventilators, more health care professionals and more tests.  Time is scarce and  there is an urgent need to get something done!  

But that is not my role in this crisis.  I am a non-essential employee.  My role is to socially distance.  And suddenly the social constructs of time looks different. Not just for me but for millions.  I hear people talk about the days running together and is it ok to have a beer at 3 in the afternoon when they woke up at 4 a.m. and plan on sleeping soon.  For me, I have actual work.  I am amazed by how many phone conferencing, time specific duties I have during this time of social distancing.  It sets some structure to my days.  As I blog last week, I have discovered I have to work at maintaining some structure of a week-end, but I have more time during the week.    I do not get up and get dress and commute to work and then commute back.  I mean I do get up and dress, but it looks far different. There are hours “saved” there and I eat when I want at home because I am in front of a computer, or listening to a webinar or a press conference and that social construct of lunch time might become a shower, or a walk, or a X-Files break. Do you know how many X-files episodes are about the threat of global contagion?  I digress.  I digress a lot these days.  My first blog was about everything I was going to do with this time, but if King Lear was written during a quarantine, my next novel is likely not to be.

It is, well, the worst of times for sure!  It can, also, be the best of times for some of us if we let it.  Last Friday was a great day!  Well, the New Mexico order for stay at home was extended and the governor announced the numbers the models show might die which were shocking and we found out specifically how many ventilators we were likely to come up short on.  And our President!  But a nurse friend from New Jersey who had been exposed without proper equipment tested negative and it was a joyous day.  I had a social media concert watch party about 5 on a Friday and it was like an actual Thank God its Friday party and that was so special.  It was the worst of and the not so bad of a day.  

The Dickens quote from a Tale of Two Cities!  We are all on the global planet going through the exact same pandemic, but in many ways we are going through it very differently, aren’t we?

There are the tales of the medical professionals, god bless them. My guess is time never feels slowed down for them.  

There are the tales of the unexpected heroes of grocery store employees, truck drivers, trash collectors, postal men, all who are not in fact staying at home because they are essential and the work they are doing cannot be done remotely.  

There are the tales I know the best of those who are staying at home, but that looks different for different people.  I live alone. I like solitude.  I enjoy working from home.   There are parents trying to continue education for their younger children while working full time jobs.  There are twenty somethings who social lives mean more to them.  There are persons who routine was to see their elderly parent in the nursing home every Thursday.  I guess in some ways they are just different chapters of the same novel.

There are economic inequities.  If you are having symptoms simply isolate into the basement or a single floor in your three story house.  Or, if you have a single story three bedroom house, the kids may have to share a room when daddy has symptoms.  Well, that looks a little different.  If you live with your spouse and your two toddlers in a one bedroom or studio apartments, social distancing is not possible.    Or if you are homeless and living in a shelter.  Or if, or if or if.  Decontaminate by immediately washing your clothes- because we all own washer and dryers don’t we?  

And if you live in an abusive relationship and you are now alone with the person the entire time.  The stressors are worse and….There are moments of hell happening across the global planet in the pandemic.  Some has to do with the loss of lives.  Some has to do  specifically with social distancing.  

But I also think that this is actually the reality of everyday life. The pandemic only exasperates existing problems.  .  While I sympathize and empathize with every single person going through hell, I cannot live it for them anymore than I can for all the homeless I regularly see on the street during normal times.  Life and death, also, happen every day.  The probabilities are high we will be effected in this time and I am not downplaying it and I don’t want to normalize it, but I do want to say there are some daily life lessons we could remember for when this is over – to love the ones we love, to know that everything can change in a second. The fact of life and death is not created in this time, but we are experiencing it differently now.  As we experience the intensity of this time, we should use it to reestablish a relationship with time that is focused on the preciousness of that time.  

I am struggling with sleep, worry and fear even if I enjoy the solitude.  I cannot put on music and dance.  It is a joyous activity and I feel little joy.  But is my not dancing causing fewer people to die?   Call  me Pollyanna but I still am hoping that, for some of us, we can find the best of times in this time.  

Most of our life we do not have enough of time .  I want to get to a place for myself and I hope others can too where they can experience the time in a peaceful and precious way.    I’m not there.  I want to be.

I think of a woman I know who bakes everyday with her kids as part of their lessons- great for math and science.   She bakes in the afternoon and the bake goods of the day are ready to eat around the 3:30 – 4:00 framework which is the time the kids were used to coming home and having a snack.  20 years from now those kids might think of this time as the time their mother spent teaching them to bake.  That doesn’t mean all the other people experiencing hell are not still experiencing hell  but not baking with her kids isn’t going to solve the world’s problems right now either.  It’s ok to have a project to finish.  It’s, also, ok not to and to spend more time enjoying your spouse or your kids or your parents or siblings if you live with them.  Watch t.v., play a game, converse.  

I feel very much alone in my isolation.  I want to believe that those people who have this time with their families are embracing it and embracing them.  And so why don’t I write that psychological thriller I’ve been saying I want to work on now for two years?  I don’t know.  I’m not learning a new language as I started with downtime in January and February. As much as I said in that first blog I had plans, boy, and looking forward to the time….I throw up my hands in the air exasperated at myself.  Maybe I needed to process a little what the world was going through and how I felt about my non-essential role.  Maybe I needed to give myself permission to feel the pain.  Maybe now, I write this blog as a way of giving myself permission to look again at this time as precious- because I do not know when I will have this much of it again, because all time is precious, because tomorrow I might die.  

 It is the worst of times, ok!  It is still precious time.  This Saturday night I am participating in a virtual rock concert video watch with some friends.  Can’t remember the last time I went out dancing on a Saturday night!  Maybe it is ok to put on music and dance. I give myself permission to be joyous. I have the time.