#saved a la mode

[shallowseeker]

Mix and match personality traits is soooo fun

Some differences b/t Jack and Sam with the “one good thing” line:

Jack is so concerned with hurting people

(it seems more in the realm of Dean’s “I'm poison” and Bobby's fear that “he breaks everything he touches” and Cas's “I destroyed everything and I WILL destroy everything again!”)

Jack seems more focused on the I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR PEOPLE part of being good…

…way more burden shouldering-oriented imho.

///

But although Sam cares about ppl (he starts out saying “other people will die!”), he seems more often focused on doing good as shorthand for being CAPABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY

It’s also sooo interesting his word choice here: because “You THINK i screw up” is WAY more abstract than simply, “I screw up.”

It’s like in Tombstone how Sam says to Jack “We’ve all done things we regret”… whereas Cas owns his mistakes outright, with a blunt, “I killed people I loved.”

Anyway, imho, when Sam talks about this, it tends toward being way more abstract / self-confidence oriented (he can be a perfectionist in this way… and like s15 jack, he also wants forgiveness, but he doesn’t feel safe/comfy enough to just apologize or ask for it)

“big hero sam” is so fascinating to me …

BONUS:

I feel like Claire Novak leans “big hero” too… She, in fact, has the Jimmy-Novak-hero disease.

And like Sam, she is ALSO trying to PROVE herself as capable.

She laments Jody not trusting her and blasts Sam for treating her like a kid at the kids' table!

(((Aside/// Jo 🤝 Sam 🤝 Claire unite!)))

//

Whereas Jack, at least after the war, seems to be more over-concerned with who he didn't save.

He seems as external-protector focused as internal-self worth focused here…

//

Note///

I think Dean, Cas, Jack, Alt Mary, and Alt John are more naturally built this way in their molten cores. Which is why any combination of them can be quite “heroic” and “sacrificial” when other ppl are in active danger. (Not saying that John, Sam, Dean, Cas can’t be unhinged/ reckless out of a disregard for their own safety and a distinct lack of self-worth… but that’s a diff mode in my head.)

We see Cas worrying about people he’s “responsible for” and the people he “owes” and/or made promises to, including getting the Penitent Angels home. The same way Mary won’t give up on the AU hunters’ Cause, to the point she doesn’t want to go home!

//

Alt John and Alt Mary are both more built like Jack and Dean too - bonding over who they didn't save.

Jack sees AU Kevin exploding in his nightmares

&

Alt John sees Murph exploding in his…

What Alt Mary and Dean say more often is: me too.

//

BONUS: The one person Claire pledged to save (Kaia), well... After she failed, Claire went on a John- and Sam- coded revenge quest against her killer, soo.... this is relevant too.

& her revenge orientation:

//

BONUS BONUS

Jo at the kids' table:

//

Man, I love this stuff

Around and around we go.

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 08 - Fav. (Side) Job

When she's not running around as Ninja or Summoner , Arsay's next choice is the lance. Being bestowed a source of draconic power by Midgardsormr moments before his slumber, and knowing how to channel the powers of Bahamut with dreadwyrm trance, Arsay's power as a Dragoon rivals that of even the former Azure Dragoon. With that said, she'd much rather use her polearm to hunt monsters.

[justworthlessreblogs]

scattered thoughts on kirapika 2

part 2 of my great kirapika rant. this one is shorter but i'm still putting it under a read more

the series tries to argue that rio's sole motivation for going evil was jealously but i disagree (to an extent) because that is a 12 or 13 year old alone in an unfamiliar city without any support system (i mean. it's just straight up canon that he and ciel started to drift apart during this time, he doesn't really seem to have had as much of a bond with jean-pierre as ciel does, he probably didn't interact with anyone else, and i think it's pretty telling that at some point he started exclusively working on his stuff in their attic instead of jean-pierre's workshop). jealously was absolutely a factor, yes, but he was also incredibly isolated and emotionally vulnerable (something we know noir specifically preys on). mentioned this to my beta once and he said that noir sounds like a textbook cult leader

in the end, rio and ciel just feel very... incomplete, as characters. like they get setup for arcs that never happen, but the show insists that they did.

ciel: i've said this before, but to me ciel is the sort of character who needs a broken pedestal. because when we meet her, she's already got everything. she's perfect in every way. and then you start seeing the cracks, tiny little flaws that sneak through. because ciel *is* flawed. she's selfish, she's shortsighted, she's got a tendency to only think about herself. she can't comprehend why ichika's "simple" sweets have so much kirakiraru even though they're not as fancy as her sweets. and i love it. i was so hyped for seeing how her intro was going to turn out while watching her introductory arc, because they had so much to work with.

the problem with ciel as a character is that she needs a moment of reckoning, but she never gets it. she comes very, very close in 23, but it's immediately undercut by the fact that she isn't the one who gets herself out of her slump (it's rio and ichika who do) and she gets rewarded despite doing nothing to really earn the reward. ciel just wallows around, then rio makes the waffles and makes her feel better, but it's ciel who gets to become a cure? it's just... disappointing. things just fall into her lap, and others do the work for her, but she gets to reap the reward. when watching 23 for the first time i thought that it really felt like set up for *rio's* debut as a cure, and i still stand by that. it's the apex of his redemption arc, the episode where he gets his big emotional realization and resolves to become a better person. and while as previously mentioned they try to give ciel something like that, it falls flat because she never does any of the emotional work.

and then after 23 ciel is just... there. it feels like the writers don't really know what to do with her character arc since its primary focus is her relationship with her brother, but they just put him in a coma for 16 episodes. and so ciel just kinda Exists. none of her episodes during this stretch are all that interesting except for 26 and that's because she's got really good chemistry with bibury - but they don't even really take advantage of that, either, because bibury disappears from the plot again until 32 and remains in the background after that! the implication in 26 that ciel has developed a bit of a savior complex based on her interactions with bibury is really interesting too, but once again they don't really do anything with it after that. ciel offers bibury a home and that's about it.

"but justie, you said that ciel gets to define herself as a character! why are you complaining about how aimless she is?" and yeah that's fair, i did. but when i say that ciel gets define herself i mean that more in accomplishments. because ciel has a *lot* of accomplishments, to the point where it gets a little ridiculous. she's perfect at literally everything except sometimes she mixes up her idioms in japanese, and that's a character trait that shows up so little that i usually forget it even exists. and they don't do anything with this perfection, either, unlike yukari. ciel's perfect because she just is.

anyways. ciel kinda floats along for a while, and then 41 happens, and they try to tell me that ciel's grown and changed and become a really great person, except i don't buy it because she's still saying thoughtless stuff at the literal emotional climax. and it frustrates me, because i can see her potential character arc - but the writers refuse to commit to it. at the end of the show, ciel is the same exact person she was at the start, except now she's got fancy precure powers too.

rio: rio gets an incomplete arc more in the sense that he literally isn't around to complete it. i'll die on the hill that the coma was the worst thing the show could've done. because all of rio's development that he'd been getting vanishes after 23, and while 41 tries to develop him more it falls flat for me because in my opinion it's too little, too late. they waste his last chance for development on a generic "redeemed villain feels bad about what they did" plot, and they don't even have fun with it! as i've already mentioned in the other post after the coma rio just becomes kind of a shell of himself. a lot of interesting things set up during the first half of the series vanish because we only get to have one episode with him and they waste it on "oh i feel bad about my crimes" and they don't even do it well because just like ciel in 23 rio doesn't get to sort out his own shit. he's the one being framed, he's the one being targeted, he's the one who wanted to run away - but it's ciel who confronts elisio, because ciel is the precure and the precure has to be the one to confront the villain, and rio just stands there uselessly in the background even though his arc is supposed to be about how he's not useless and can measure up to his sister. the underlying message of the arc we do get is just. depressing. rio struggles, and struggles, and tries so fucking hard, but no matter what he does he's still second best to ciel. and for a show like precure, "you'll never be good enough so you should just give up and accept your place in the background" is really, really bleak. he needs a confidence arc the way ciel needs a broken pedestal arc, and he never gets it, and his really interesting dynamics with characters - ichika and yukari specifically - vanish into the wind, because the writers decided the coma was a better option instead of exploring them. in my opinion, 41 should have been episode 24, or 25, or somewhere in that range. because it feels like the behavior of both ciel and rio would fit a lot better there. patching up their relationship is the beginning, not the ending. there's still a lot of development to be done. you can't just tell me that everything's fine now.

i think cure parfait could've worked, but the way it happens in canon just is Not It

this one is tangentially related but i'm putting it in here anyways: i also think cure pekorin could've worked if we'd actually gotten some setup for it. like yeah 38 was an episode that happened and she gets focus in 7 as well but i feel like pekorin as a character just mostly exists in the background. and then suddenly bam she's a precure despite never really showing any drive to be one or do that sort of thing. even removing all my biases i still think that for the sake of the narrative alone rio would've been a much better fit because he already had that motivation and it would've been a nice cap on his redemption arc imo, but if pekorin was given actual setup and foreshadowing aside from getting a human form in 38 i think it would've gone a lot better

[aesadraws]

Woe. I fear my sims 4 save has been corrupted somehow and I'll need to make a new one...

[brittle-doughie]

omg can we have more of the fight dialogue thing please 🙏🏻🙏🏻

maybe w others cookie like eternal sugar or mystic flour or pv PLEASE

i love your writing sm

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Eternal Sugar Cookie: “Your happiness is important to me, my heavenly.”

You: “Running away from you would make me happy.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Mystic Flour Cookie: “You have returned to me…”

You: “Do you now see that there is meaning?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “The best thing to do would be to work together!”

Oyster Cookie: “Let us talk business when this is over.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Crimson Coral Cookie: “I will clear the way for you, land Cookie!”

You: “Aw, aren’t you going to save some for me?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Pure Vanilla Cookie: “Y/N Cookie! Are you hurt?!”

You: “I’m alright for the 8th time, Pure Vanilla!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “We can get pudding after this.”

Pudding A La Mode: “I like having you around!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “Isn’t protecting you Knight Cookie’s deal?”

Princess Cookie: “You can be my noble escort!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Herb Cookie: “I’ll show you my garden, Y/N Cookie!”

You: “Which one? You have a lot…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Royal Margarine Cookie: “Let me see how you move, my dear!”

You: “Stick around, I’ve got plenty of moves!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Kumiho Cookie: “Have I stolen your heart now, cutie~?”

You: “Never again!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

White Lily Cookie: “Please, Y/N Cookie. Don’t leave me alone…”

You: “You won’t have to be alone anymore…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “You all don’t want to mess with her!”

Matcha Cookie: “I’ll make them pay for making fun of me!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “I can’t decide…” (whether you should live or die /ref)

Dark Choco Cookie: “When the time comes, do the right thing…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Raspberry Cookie: “I can teach you how to wield a sword like my family!”

You: “Is this an excuse to spar?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Pumpkin Pie Cookie: “Please be my friend. Forever, and ever…”

You: “I can be forever. Can you?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “I don’t have any regrets…”

Werewolf Cookie: “Thank you…for wanting to be my friend…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Kouign-Amann Cookie: “Y/N Cookie, your paladin has arrived!”

You: “Go. Give me everything.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Sea Fairy Cookie: “You are always on my mind…”

You: “The ocean looks beautiful today…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You: “The moon has never shined so brightly before…”

Moonlight Cookie: “Let me watch over you in your dreams…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Crunchy Chip Cookie: “I think we can officially be comrades-in-arms now!”

You: “I won’t let you down!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny Pt.9

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.10]

"Fan-sea meeting you here. You must be Phantom!"

Danny slowly turned around, grin blinding. "I shore am. Who's asking?"

Danny knew exactly who was asking. Bludhaven's vigilante, Nightwing. If the giant dark blue bird emblazoned on the front of his suit didn't give it away, the friendly demeanor and the puns would have. Plus, now that Danny's figured out who Tim was, the rest were pretty simple dots to be connected.

"Hi. I'm Nightwing. Thanks for saving Batman."

"I am Phantom. You are welcome. Please lecture him on the necessity of keeping the waters clean."

"Uh, I think he knows," Nightwing grinned. “So, why are you cleaning Gotham’s bay? I heard the Atlantic is nice this time of year.”

“Exactly. This?” Danny flapped a gloved hand around them, specifically at the moldy docks and the paint scraped board. “This is not nice. If it were nice, I wouldn’t need to be cleaning it. Look at that paint! It’s flaking off into the water! Does Gotham not have proper boat maintainance? That’s dangerous for the waters and seafarers!”

“Woah, you know a lot about boats,” Nightwing commented, crossing his arms and leaning back. What the hero didn’t know was that he knew more about boats than Danny did, as Danny’s hyper fixation was more focused on space ships and Dick had education à la maison de Bruce Wayne which usually meant an absurd amount of information for someone who doesn’t actually use boats as a regular mode of transportation.

“Rust! Rust is very much a thing!” Danny ranted, using his ice to scoop up water and using it like a makeshift filter. “It weakens bonds! It’s a tetanus hazard! And oh, don’t even get me started on how you people mutated the ocean life!”

“Mutated ocean life? I’m pretty sure we hadn’t. It’s just a little weird, right?”

Without another word, Danny dove into the weird ecosystem that was the Gotham bay. He came back holding a wriggling green thing the size of a worm.

“Do you know what this is?” Danny demanded. The thing flopped around on his gloved hands.

“A sea monkey?”

“They’re brine shrimp. Brine. Shrimp. Do you know what regular brine shrimp look like???” Danny shoved the thing at Nightwing, who took a step back.

“Not like that?” He replied, a quizzical look on his face.

“No, not like that! What in the ancients is this?!” Danny waved the weird sea brine that had started glowing faintly, like Danny’s natural ectoplasm glow. “Far be it from me of all people to judge evolution but this was all man made!” Danny gently tossed the brine shrimp back into the bay. “Brine shrimp is staple food for the ocean! You’ve got weird brine shrimp? You’ve got weird fish! Why is it impossible for this place to, for even one day, refrain from dumping hazardous chemicals or dead bodies in the water?”

“Ooookay, how about we take a breather?” Nightwing quickly glanced around, trying to find something to change the subject, feeling oddly guilty at the earnest expression on the kid’s face. “Uh, I was actually wondering if you’d swing by the waters near Blüd?”

Danny crossed his arms. “I clean the waters as a past time because you humans don’t know how to keep it clean. I am not a personal, on call, seakeeper.”

“Batman will pay you for your time,” Dick offered. Danny straightened. Amity didn’t actually cost that much to live well, but Gotham was a whole other ball park. The rent might be dirt cheap for a city, but the special pricey little add ons such as gas masks and space level insulation on top of the sky high insurance policies were draining what’s left of his half dead soul. As they say, Danny was a city dweller first and Phantom second.

“How much, when, and I won’t fish up the bodies unless he pays me extra.”

“Four thousand base pay, extra one hundred per identity, fifty for bodies with no shades, and on the weekends.”

Danny straightened as his mother’s steel spine, Jazz’s whip sharp wit, and his own craftiness made their appearance as he bargained. “Five thousand. Rate agreed, but I can only do every other weekends and I’ll have to call out some days.”

“Okay.” Nightwing rocked back on his heels with an affable smile. It’s Bruce’s money and it’s going towards his probable future baby brother, after all, even if said baby brother is a dead immortal Atlantis founder. Or something.

Danny groaned. “You are supposed to bargain back. But I’ll take it.”

“Great! Who do we got tonight?” Nightwing looked down at the plastic/burlap wrapped person Danny dragged onto the shores a bit ago.

“The lake kept the body cold, so it should be preserved adequately if you want to examine him,” Danny tilted his head to the side, the flames of his hair tilting with him. “He said his name is Gorganzo Bean.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s a nickname he got for eating a whole can of beans straight.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it. Any more details?”

“Sure.”

When Danny reached to take the money from Nightwing, he found that the hero had tightened his grip on it.

Danny pointedly dropped his gaze from Nightwing’s face to the money.

“Wait. I- I heard from a source that you could possibly smell souls.”

Danny yanked the cash out of Nightwing’s hand and shoved it into his shoulder. If that didn’t confirm Nightwing’s identity, he doesn’t know what would other than the guy telling Danny who he was. “You’ve been speaking with Danny. Yes, I can.”

“Can you tell what’s wrong with my brother?” Nightwing blurted out.

Danny stared at him, his legs flickering in and out to his tail form. “…Other than dressing in probably leather or Kevlar and going out to beat criminals with his bare hands?”

Nightwing opened and closed his mouth. He coughed awkwardly. “Other than that. Why is he- um, stinky? Soul-wise,” Nightwing added, clearly humoring the tinny little voice at the base of his temples that was an annoyed Red Hood saying that he showered. “He showers often. And is definitely not stinky body odor wise.”

“I am not a doctor. Well, not now anyways,” Danny said, thinking about his future PhD. “But he’s got a… soul infection. His natural immunity- all souls have a natural immunity against regular outside influences- is working hard to repel the equivalence of chronic bronchitis.”

“There’s… no way to help him?”

“I never said that,” Danny tilted his head. “Bring your brother to meet Danny. He could probably handle it.”

“The civilian?”

“His parents hunted my kind, once. He helped protect me and my people. If anyone knows how to cure it, it would be him.”

Phantom could not afford to deal with this right now, because Danny had a presentation tomorrow that he needed to finish.

“Oh. Thank you, Phantom.” Nightwing said, looking relieved and pensive. Danny decided right then and there that was Future Danny’s problem.

Danny nodded distractedly, blinking out.

He blinked back in. Nightwing jerked back. “Do you happen to have any examples of corrupt politicians in Gotham?”

Nightwing blinked before laughing. “It’d probably be easier to name the ones that aren’t.”

“Good to know. Thank you!”

——

A couple of days later, Tim and two older guys ambushed him in the quad.

“Hi! I’m Dick! This is my brother Jason! We’re Tim’s older brothers!”

Danny looked down at his hand- trapped in an overexcited handshake- and back up at Dick.

Whatever expression he was making, it must have been ha-fucking-larious because Tim and Jason burst out into laughter. Danny cursed his past self.

“Yeah?” Danny blinked. Wait. His smile grew and he made a face like he just realized something. “Oh. So you’re Nightwing?”

The laughter cut off.

“Haha, what?”

“Phantom told me you’d be coming but I, uh, thought you’d be in gear. Not… straight up telling me who you are?”

“You’re in regular contact with Phantom?” Tim demanded.

“Yeah, dude. After you- wait, you’re Red Robin!” Danny whispered.

“Oh shit, B’s gonna be pissed,” Jason drawled, looking mildly amused and hiding an extremely cautious, possibly lethal (if it weren’t for the fact that Danny’s pretty much impossible to kill with regular weapons) reaction.

“You’re one to talk. I’d smell your soul no matter what your disguise was.”

“…About that.”

——

You might be wondering: wouldn’t Dick know not to show up in civvies?

Yes. Except for the fact that Tim stalked Danny for weeks after he met Phantom and Danny hadn’t hung out with (himself) at all. They think Danny doesn’t know Phantom well enough to even talk to him much, despite being from the same town because: they’re all big city kids and have never experienced small town solidarity and, more importantly, gossip grapevines + they have no idea these two are the same people.

A deleted scene:

“When did you have time to talk to Phantom?” Tim demanded. Jason nudged Tim. That had hinted too much at what Tim was doing on his off hours and stalking was usually frowned upon.

“When I wasn’t talking to you, duh.”

[ceesimz]

Homecoming

Some more glimpses into your relationship. (autistic!reader)

Reverie fics here! Same setup as Evergreen, hope you enjoy!

One thing about autism is that things are never linear. No two situations are ever the same. One day you can handle something perfectly fine, the next day it can feel like the end of the world. 

The Copa de la Reina title wasn’t your first at Barcelona, you’d won the Supercopa only a few months prior at the start of the calendar year, in which you celebrated long into the night with your team with no inhibitions. But the same couldn’t be said for your second cup. Why, you weren’t sure. It could have been a combination of things or it could have been nothing, you just couldn’t for the life of you fully immerse yourself in the locker room celebrations.

Throughout the whole post-game routine, you felt sort of spaced out. Like you were a fly on the wall, more than content to sit back and watch your family celebrate, as if they were doing it for you whilst you had to go on battery saving mode almost. It didn’t take long for the overwhelming feeling and the exhaustion to settle in, which frustrated you a little, because all you wanted to do was join in with them, you just couldn’t find the energy for that. You were still feeling the euphoria, the happiness and the relief, but it felt like they were out of your reach, like you were watching them through glass rather than experiencing them. 

And with all that, it was hard to not feel disheartened, since this was just another occasion that put your struggles on a pedestal, a spotlight on the differences between you and your teammates.

Esmee had gone over to Ingrid at some point to ask the defender if you were okay, and Ingrid only needed to take one look at you to know what was wrong. But, as it turned out, it was the same case for Alexia too. 

“You okay?” Alexia asked as she sat down beside you where you sat in your cubby, slowly and mindlessly untying the laces of your trainers that you were about to put on. 

At this point, everyone was beginning to trail out of the locker room as they continued their celebrations from there all the way to the bus. There were only a couple people left, but they were just gathering the last of their belongings, soon to leave. Ingrid had seen Alexia come over to you with her eyebrow furrowed slightly, and decided you were in the safest hands and that the two of you could probably do with some privacy, so she left. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Just a little overwhelmed I think.” You kept your eyes on the shoes in your hands, a certain lack of emotion to your face that Alexia could read instantly.

“It’s alright to be overwhelmed, engel.” Her words were soft and caring, not an ounce of frustration and a prominent lack of judgement that was everything you needed. The last person left the room then, the door swinging closed behind them. It shut the noise out, finally giving you the tranquility you needed and space to breathe, with no fear of opinions and watching eyes.

“I just wish I could join in but I can’t, and now I feel embarrassed. I’m just sat here like a freak.” You dropped your shoe and put your head in your hands, letting out a sharp exhale of irritation. 

“Okay, okay.” Alexia quietly said, moving to crouch in front of you. Her hands delicately took yours, her tentativeness contrasting the tension in your own, and she squeezed them whilst running her thumbs over your fingers. “Let’s not stress about that, alright? Nobody was judging you for not joining in, I think they all understood, though they didn’t show it, that there was a lot goi-”

“But I wasn't like this when we won the last trophy.” 

You interrupted her with a thought that had hounded you the second you stepped off the pitch after the trophy ceremony. You slipped your hands out of hers and stood abruptly, needing to move as a release for all the feelings running through your body. Alexia stood too, turning to watch as you walked around the room, shaking your hands like you were trying to rid them of pins and needles – instead, you were trying to rid yourself of the avalanche of emotions that'd hit you at once out of nowhere. You felt trapped inside your own body, inside your mind, and you swore you could feel your soul trying to claw its way out from the confines of the impending sense of doom you had. Alexia wasn’t sure whether to step in or not, wasn’t sure what to say, until you made the decision for her a minute later.

“I think I might h-have a meltdown.” 

She called into action then, stepping in front of you to stop your pacing but, crucially, not stopping the movement of your hands. She knew what it was, stimming, and she knew that stopping it would only make you feel worse. So she put her hands on your shoulders, making sure her body language and her face exuded calmness, aware that if an ounce of her worry or anxiety was evident then it'd make you feel worse, opening up feelings of guilt and regret about how you'd ruined a moment for her, when she didn't feel like that at all. 

“Is having a meltdown going to help get some of these feelings out of your system? Or will it make you feel worse?” Alexia asked wisely, her face relaxed and her voice level. Your eyes were restless, darting from her face to the wall behind her, to the different cubbies and the necklace she wore that you'd gifted her. 

“I-I don't know. Ale, I don't know.” You replied in a panicked tone, only to be met with quiet and gentle shushing in return. Her hands moved from your shoulders to land lightly on your cheeks, her touch not overbearing yet there to provide comfort. 

“I think it might make you feel worse, engel. I think we can calm you down, okay? You're panicked and you're overthinking. Let's take these thoughts away, it's just you and me here. Don't think of anything else but me and you.” She leaned her forehead against yours and closed her eyes, wordlessly telling you to do the same, which you did.

Your breathing had gone a bit haywire, it was uneven and laboured, your chest felt like it was caving in under the weight of all that was suffocating you. People often thought it was strange when you said you felt everything in your chest, but it was the truth. In moments like this, when your mind was working overtime and you were so overwhelmed you couldn’t think straight, it felt like you were trapped in a place you couldn’t escape. You felt claustrophobic in your own body, and you needed a reprieve from the way your brain never stopped processing the environment you were in. You could hear everything, from the distant sound of voices down the corridor outside the room, to the music still blasting throughout the stadium, to the buzz of the bright lights above that were blindingly bright then, the hard thump of your own heart beat, everything. You could smell Alexia's perfume, the faint linger of damp grass, the mix of people's shower gels and hair products, champagne and beer that people had sprayed around the room. All of it combined together and gathered right in your chest, like you had the weight of the world on your heart.

Something like this had happened in the past, back in Germany. You hadn't had someone there for you then like Alexia was. Nobody even knew about this disorder that ruled your life, nobody knew that your entire neurology could not be more different than theirs, nobody even blinked an eye at your distant nature. And apparently the same went for being at Barcelona, yet the situations were completely different. They knew all about you and weren't at all put off by your behavior afterwards. Ingrid would tell you the next day that the majority of them were concerned, and you'd also see for yourself by the few messages on your phone the next morning too.

But in the changing room, you did have Alexia, and having her there changed the outcome indefinitely.

A few minutes passed by, and you were already significantly calmer. Alexia hadn't moved a muscle and neither had you, her breathing helping yours to slow and her steady presence bringing you more peace of mind than anything else could in that moment.

“You feel better?” She murmured, her thumbs running up and down your flushed cheeks. You nodded, sighing quietly, and she smiled a little, both in relief and contentment. “Abrazo?”

Your answer was in the way you dropped your head to her shoulder and wrapped your arms loosely around her waist, relishing in the comfort the pressure of her hug brought. She enveloped you tightly, wishing for nothing but for you to feel yourself again. And she knew the strength of her hug was one thing that'd help in that moment. 

The embarrassment and the shame of the post-match events didn't wear off immediately, but you were able to calm down quite significantly. For a good few minutes, Alexia kept her arms tight around you, to the point you were sure that her muscles there might ache more the following day than her legs would from the game. But it was what you needed. It helped to regulate yourself, to get your nervous system back under your control. 

“Thanks.” You tapped her lightly on the hip to tell her she could let go, but she didn’t. She loosened her arms yet kept them around you.

“Of course. Of course, engel. Always.” She made sure you understood that she’d be there for you in cases like this whenever you needed it. Which, though you didn’t ask for, actually brought the tiniest of smiles on your face. She dropped her arms to take your hands and leaned back in to kiss your forehead before addressing you once more. “Whatever you need to do tonight, we will do, okay? If you don’t want to go out, we can stay in at the hotel and celebrate another day. If you want to be on your own for a bit, I can leave you in the room for some time. Whatever you need. I’ll do anything.”

You nodded, staring off over her shoulder as you took a moment or two to think. You definitely wouldn’t handle going out well. And wouldn’t it be cruel keeping Alexia away from her teammates after a cup win?

“I think I’ll stay in tonight. You should go out though.” You were met with a roll of her eyes and an amused smile.

“But is that what you want? Do you want me to stay with you or do you want to be on your own?” 

“I always want to be with you, but it’s not fair of me to ask you to stay. I don’t want to take you away from th-”

“Dios. You are silly, hm?” She drew you back in for another hug, a hand cradling the back of your head against her with her arm around your waist. “I always want to be with you. And when I know you are not feeling yourself right now, I would forget any other plans if I know that being with you will make you feel better. You understand?” 

As you tucked your head into her neck and forewent a reply, she knew she’d said the right thing. It made her feel ever so slightly proud, that she was getting better at reading you and understanding you. She still worried from time to time, and though she didn’t want these occurrences to happen in the first place, it comforted her that you willingly opened up to her and let her in now. She liked to think she made you a little happier now that she was in your life, but she was far too humble and shy to say that aloud. Even if you’d tell her that ‘a little happier’ was just a drop in the ocean.

When you went to dinner two nights later to properly celebrate with the team, you knew you wouldn’t have made it there if she hadn’t been with you back in the locker room when you were struggling. Furthermore, as the time ticked by where you sat with a few of your closest friends, you didn’t feel uncomfortable, you didn’t cower away from their company after what happened after the game. You felt you were right where you belonged.

“Vicky, no. Don’t.” Alexia glared across the table at the young girl who had a glint in her eye that only forboded mischievous behaviour.

“No, don’t listen to her! Venga, Vick. Get it out.” Mapi grinned, leaning forward to look past Ingrid beside her to Vicky seated further down.

“Vicky, no-” 

“Ale was so… what is that phrase? Ingrid, help me out.” She turned to your fellow Norwegian and mumbled quietly into her ear, smirking when she found the phrase she was looking for. Then, she turned to you. “Ale was so ‘head over heels’ for you before she asked you for a date. Right, Mapi?” 

“Oh, one hundred percent. She would not stop talking and talking about you all the time.” Mapi nodded as her hands gestured emphatically.

To your left, Alexia had her face hidden behind her hands, grumbling something incoherently under her breath. You laughed at the sight of her, knowing that under her palms there was probably a certain redness to her cheeks.

“Is that true, Alexia?” You teased, nudging her under the table with your knee. 

“Mapi, I think I love her! Oh  Mapi, what do I do, Mapi? What if she doesn’t think the same? I don’t think I could ever tell her, she means too much to me and I don’t want to risk losing her! I think she is so beautiful and hot and s-”

“Calláte, Mapi. You just love the sound of your own voice when you say your name. Compórtate.” Alexia scolded lightly, trying hard to ignore the beaming grin she could see from you in the corner of her eye.

She was a little embarrassed and regretting the fact she decided to invite Vicky to this dinner, but she was happy. Happy to take any teasing of how she acted before she became your girlfriend because it was making you smile then, and that time of her life was one she treasured so deeply, and perhaps she did know that she acted like a frantic teenager who had never been in love before. But before you came along, now she realised that, actually, she doesn’t think she ever had loved any of her exes, because none of them were at all like you. Loving you was something she didn’t even have to think about, whereas in the past, it always had to be an active thought of hers, sometimes even a worry, just another thing on her plate. Deciding to stop off at the bakery on the way home from a meeting or picking up a bouquet of flowers on her walk home from the local shop was a habit now.

“Yeah, yeah, Ale. You wouldn’t have had the cojones to ask her out if it wasn’t for me, so I don’t think you should speak to me like that.”

Alexia stared at the shorter defender, eyes wide in warning with her nostrils flared. It was enough to silence her. For about two minutes.

“Actually, I think I have something in mind that would make Ale feel better.” Frido piped up from the end of the table.

Everybody went silent as they watched the frosty, slightly scared glance you sent Frido’s way.

“Fridolina, I trusted y-”

“After the Sevilla away game, back here, she rushed me into her car so that she could ramble about how big her crush was on Alexia. It was just after training too, I’m surprised nobody saw it.”

The Swede had no qualms revealing such a secret, and honestly neither did you.

For a second or two, the silence remained. Before everyone bar Alexia started laughing, making teasing remarks, and revelling in the secrets that had just been spilled about two of their utterly hopeless teammates. But, the blonde you sat beside, who had her hand resting comfortably on your thigh, was just gazing at you with more love in her eyes than you’d ever seen before.

This was fun, you decided. Nobody mentioned your reaction after the match, nobody thought of you any differently after it, they were there and they were happy that you were there. Seated in the corner of a low-lit, quiet restaurant, you didn’t find yourself wilting anxiously under the company of a group of people, nor did the surroundings overstimulate you at any point. That evening was everything you hoped a dinner with friends could be.

You would crash hard when you got home, that was never in doubt. Even if there were things in place to make it much more enjoyable and not quite so detrimental, by the time you got in Alexia’s car to go back to her flat, you’d most likely become non-verbal for some time and want to do nothing but get in bed to recharge for a little while. Those things would never change, no matter how enjoyable any outing was, but that wasn’t going to stop you.

There was only one person who could have planned the dinner to be so well-suited to you. It was Alexia, of course it was. Taking everything she possibly could into consideration, like the layout of the restaurant, the lighting, the table you were given, the busyness of it at the time you went. You appreciated her thoughtfulness so much more than she could ever realise.

“Alright, alright. Fine. I did do that. I guess we’re equal.” You turned to your girlfriend with a soft smile, but she seemed outraged.

“That game was a month before I asked you to go on a date with me! You did nothing for a month?”

With a grimace, you nodded, amused at how she scoffed and shook her head disapprovingly at the new discovery. However, for the first time and probably the last time, Mapi had your back in a situation where you were the butt of the joke.

“No, Ale, you have no place to talk. I distinctly remember we had a similar conversation in the hotel corridor at the Sevilla game. I think I remember you saying something along the lines of-”

“Mapi!” Alexia seethed, lightly slamming her hand down on the table and consequently causing a cacophony of rattling steel against ceramic. Not that she cared, she had more important matters to attend to. “María León, no more. Silencio.” 

Crossing her arms like a petulant child, Mapi slumped back into her chair. Ingrid was there to offer her support, not without rolling her eyes at her girlfriend’s dramatics, whispering something about saving it for the wedding speech. You were pretty certain yourself and Alexia gained a new fear for the future in that moment.

“I remember another time with Ale too.” Vicky interjected with too much excitement than one required for such a simple opening statement. From the exasperated sigh that Alexia quietly let out, you were listening with great interest. “She was helping me with my school work just before Christmas. She was like a sad puppy because you had already left for Norway.”

The Barcelona captain groaned loudly, covering her face again out of embarrassment.

“Vete a la mierda, nena.” You heard her whisper under her breath, which was soon followed by a sharp inhale as you pinched her thigh. 

“Anytime the topic fit, she would start talking about you. She never stopped checking her phone. One time, when you actually did text her, she dropped her phone because she was so desperate to pick it up. It was like the notification that came through had life-changing information, but no, it was just a photo of you with the snow.”

“I love that photo.” Alexia mumbled so that only you could hear it, and in that moment you were very grateful that Vicky wasn’t sitting close enough to be able to make out the blush to your cheeks in the dim light. “I remember, you had tiny things of ice in your eyebrows, and I showed my Mami when I went home after that, and she laughed for so long. She said… next year I should go with you to Norway at some point. One, so I can meet your family and see your home. Two, because she wants to see me with ice in my eyebrows because she thinks it would be the funniest thing in the world because I hate the cold so much. And she knows you would find my reaction to the snow funny too.”

As you two drifted off into your own conversation, the others lost interest and moved onto other topics, thankfully choosing to not share any more gossip about the pair of you. So you met Alexia’s eye, each with your own sheepish expressions on your faces due to the information that had just been revealed, but there was a surprised look in your eye that confused the blonde. She brought up the possibility of going to Norway with you, which was something you’d longed for since you left her behind at Christmas. But for now, you let it pass, for two reasons: one, because she never explicitly said she wanted to go, she only relayed her mother’s recommendation, so just in case she didn't want to go, you weren't about to sign yourself up for inevitable disappointment. And two, because there was something else that had captured your attention.

Alexia had her version of falling in love, and you had yours. For some reason, it never computed that her side of the story might be different from yours, but of course it was. Now, she might simply never hear the end of you begging for her to say it just one more time.

Though, it was the final story that Vicky told which stuck in your mind the most. One thing you’d worried about when you went to Norway was that as your relationship was still so new, you had no idea how ten days apart near enough straight after making it official would affect it. To hear about how much Alexia missed you from the perspective of someone she trusted, it showed you a totally new side to her devotion. And to hear she missed you just as much as you did her? Not much could compare to the feeling that gave you. 

Under her piercing gaze, paired with the adoration you swore radiated off of her, you ducked your head to hide your face in her shoulder. The blonde chuckled softly as you did so, putting an arm across the back of your chair and humming to urge you to lift your head back up. You did just that, to which she leaned in to place a quick but lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

“I think I remember you saying, during one of our movie nights earlier on, that you like the idea of a relationship but hate the process of getting into one.” She whispered beside your ear, her face hidden from view purposely so that the others, or rather, Vicky and Mapi, wouldn’t tease her yet again for how hopelessly gone she was for you.

“I did say that.” You winced at her when she pulled back, only for her to laugh, and the utter joy that spread through her face as she did so was one of the best sights you’d see in your life. “But… I love how we got together, I wouldn’t change any part of it. You are perfect, how could I not?”

The roles reversed then and it was Alexia who rolled her eyes at the sweet sentiment.

“That is really soppy of you.” She stated with her eyebrows raised, using a word she’d clearly picked up from you due to how funny and unnatural it sounded coming from her. She rolled her eyes again when you giggled at her for it.

“I know.” You hummed, that same beaming grin from earlier back on your face. “It’s true though. If you ever break up with me, I don’t know what I would do.”

It was meant to be an off-handed comment, even if it was a fear that troubled you far too often, but Alexia didn’t take it that way. The disapproving frown on her face said as much.

“Don’t say that.” She said, the hand that rested on the back of your chair moving to rest on your shoulder instead. Her thumb caressed your skin through the material of the shirt you wore and you looked at her, slightly confused. “I will never break up with you. Never. There is not a future for me anymore that doesn't include you too. And, you heard Ingrid, we have to at least wait until our wedding so that you can hear what Mapi has to say.”

You nodded at her, a simple reaction that felt too little for the declaration she had just made. Neither of you had spoken about the future together, too focused on the new present you'd created and enjoying that whilst remaining focused on the season as it reached its end. That didn't mean you didn't think about it — you did, all the time, actually.

Any spare moment you had, or not even then, just any time you could get away with being lost in your own thoughts, it was always Alexia that came to mind first. Initially it was just harmless, wholesome things, like what snacks you should stock up with for when she next came over, or what she was up to while you were apart, or which jumper you could take from her next time you went to her place. But then it changed, a seamless transition that went slightly under the radar: would she like Norway or would she stand by her point about hating the cold, how would she fit in with your family, which interior decoration style does she prefer, has she ever thought about the Scandinavian sleep method, would this rug suit your (non-existent) shared home, who would be the one that propos-

“Hm. I have lost you.” Alexia scowled as she lightly knocked a knuckle against your forehead, bringing you out of your own mind. 

It seemed that, judging by her words beforehand, Alexia often thought about the future too. Her future that had you in it. Where, as she had said in the changing room at the stadium for the final, she’d do anything she had to do to make sure you were doing okay and feeling like yourself. You could have only ever dreamed for somebody to say those things to you in the past. Now it was your reality.

“I’m still here, you idiot.” You scoffed. Then, an idea slipped into mind that would answer one of your daydream’s questions. You turned on your chair a little to face her more, and met her with a smirk she knew meant trouble. “How long do I have to wait for this wedding anyway? I don’t like secrets.”

Alexia’s lips curved into a smile as she let out an amused breath. Her hand still on your shoulder fiddled with the collar of your shirt, her eyes drifting to look there for a second, before she returned your curious gaze and shrugged slyly. 

“Not long.” She replied, not giving much away but letting slip a piece of information you’d hold onto and think back on in the future whilst disguising a cheesy grin. 

—

Before the new season started, the farmer’s market incident happened. And though you went to sleep the night of it feeling so much better, there was a lingering heaviness in your chest when you woke up in the early hours of the next day that was as if every emotion had been squashed down to fit into a tiny souvenir glass bottle like sand from some kind of vacation destination. But then you rolled over and saw Alexia, the person that had been single-handedly responsible for picking you up and putting you back together, and the way your lips curved slightly into a smile helped to shoo away some of the loitering shame. Rather than focusing on all the negative things that tried to pull you down again, you focused on her, because without fail she could lighten up your mind’s train of thought without even trying.

She was still asleep, lay on her stomach like always and facing away from you, her light snores (which she vehemently denied existed) sounding through the otherwise silent room. Her mostly brunette hair was tied into a low loose bun, with blonde tendrils having slipped out, and the thin sheet covered her tanned form from the waist down, along with the cropped white vest she wore as well as her underwear. In her sleep, she was always so at peace. And for a split second, you were jealous, that whilst you were struggling to sleep and struggling with yourself, she was none the wiser without a worry on her mind. But you swiftly shunned that thought to the side, because yesterday wasn’t her fault, nor were your feelings in that moment. 

You also knew that if you were to wake her up at that second, she’d comply with no complaints and do whatever you needed to feel better. Perhaps it was that which caused the tears that sprung to your eyes out of nowhere, or maybe it was just the overwhelming amount of relief you felt that you had her in your life. So you unfolded an arm from under your pillow and gently placed your hand on the back of her exposed neck, your fingers softly trailing along her skin and twirling the baby hairs there. You didn’t exactly mean to wake her up, but you didn’t feel bad either.

The midfielder was a light sleeper, so the feeling of your movements against her neck brought her round but it was a soothing feeling, a welcome wake up call. She hummed sleepily, still oblivious to emotions you were feeling. As you kept your eyes on her, you felt a softness you couldn’t quite process, or describe. You’d just… never appreciated someone like you did her. 

She had no obligations to love you, to care for you, to even like you. If she up and left the next day, you wouldn’t blame her. She didn’t choose an easy life by being with you. The events of the day before proved exactly that. Yet… there she was beside you, relishing in the company of you in bed beside her as the simple drag of your fingers through her hair and across her skin lit a fire pit of warmth in her chest. 

Tears fell steadily down your cheeks, wetting your pillow, and Alexia turned her head to face you, her eyes still closed as she reached an arm out to rest over your back. It wasn’t until you sniffled that she sobered from her sleepy haze and her eyes shot open in concern.

“Qué pasa?” She rasped, shuffling closer and rising to her elbows, looking down at you. She frowned when you shook your head, briefly turned to hide your face in your pillow, before deciding to face the music and rolling onto your back. Alexia took that as her sign that you wanted her close, so she shuffled closer again, resting on one elbow with her side against yours and raising her free hand to wipe your tears away. “Qué pasa, engel?”

There was so much on your mind, yet you couldn’t find the words to say it all. 

“Can’t sleep.” 

It was a hell of an understatement. You knew that, Alexia knew that. She stayed silent, just looking at you with far too much concern than you could handle. So you wrapped your arms around her back and dipped your head forward so that it rested against her shoulder. She smiled sadly, turning to dot kisses along your cheek, until she buried her face in your neck. 

You both stayed like that for some time, all the whilst the tears never slowed. It wasn’t until you loosened your arms that Alexia leaned back, a frown on her face when she noticed you were still crying. She could tell there was something you wanted to say, so as you gathered yourself together and wiped your tears, again, she lay there patiently for you, at one point leaning forward to leave a reassuring kiss on your chin.

A minute or so later, you took a deep breath in and covered your face as you spoke.

“I always worried that I…” You began, hesitating for a second whilst a gentle hand fell to your hip, Alexia tracing circles with her thumb on your skin. “...I wouldn’t make a very good partner.” 

You mumbled the words insecurely, your voice cracking and punctuated with infrequent sniffling as you attempted to keep the tears at bay. Alexia let out something like a disbelieved huff, shaking her head down at you as a small smile crept onto her face. The reaction confused you; though you weren’t sure what you had expected in the first place, it wasn’t quite that.

Still resting on one elbow, she moved her hand from your hip to carefully pry your own away from your face. She dipped down again, this time to kiss your nose. Then the side of your mouth, before shaking her head again, her smile wider.

“You are the perfect partner for me and I mean that.” Her voice was no louder than a whisper when she spoke, the softness to her tone matching the softness in her eyes as she gazed at you where she hovered above. She sounded so… sure. So certain. 

“H…how?” You questioned fearfully, because you simply didn’t believe her. 

The midfielder raised her eyebrows and shrugged, which wasn’t very reassuring at first, before she smiled somewhat smugly.

“Well, it would take me decades to say everything I love about you. So let me spend that time showing you, okay? I love you more than I can say and there isn’t a thing I would change about you. Nothing.” 

You blushed then and there was nothing you could do about it. Alexia had a habit of catching you by surprise almost daily with how much she cherished you, but her last words might have just topped all past instances. 

There was a certain glint to the hazel of her eyes, a mixture of honesty, confidence, and, the one that struck you the most, desperation– desperation for you to believe her. For you to overcome this momentary and all-too-frequent lapse of self-worth and recognise that your neurology has nothing to do with your lovability. If anything, she loves you more because of it. You wouldn’t be who you were without it, and though she didn’t love you because of it explicitly, every ‘miswire’, every ‘fault’, every ‘flaw’ you believed you had, she only saw it as things to add to your individuality. There was no one like you, she believed that wholeheartedly. So to have you in her life, to be your girlfriend, to be the only person in the world on the receiving end of all the love you had to give? Well, she didn’t know what she’d done in her lifetime to deserve it, but she was sure she was the luckiest person alive to be able to love such a kaleidoscoped human and see every side to them. Loving you was the least she could do.

“Not even the parts that make me unhappy?”

And what a time it was to voice all those thoughts she had. She pretended to think for a moment, even if she knew the answer from the minute she first kissed you. Or rather, when you kissed her, back in that walled garden which, many months on, she'd take the long route home for any chance she could, just so she could drive past the place and reminisce on the memories you shared there.

“No. I wouldn’t. Because if you took them away, the things that made you happy wouldn’t be the same either. You wouldn’t be you.” She explained, grinning at the confusion on your face. She took the opportunity to wipe away the last lingering tear on your cheek, because you’d stopped crying at that point thanks to her and how unabashed she was in her adoration, and made sure you were paying full attention to her next words. “I take all of you, knowing that when you struggle with yourself, I have enough love for the both of us to get you through it.” 

For someone that loved to talk and did so with anyone close to you, you had nothing to say after that. Giving the time of day to the doubts that ate away at you before you woke her up felt like it’d be an injustice to Alexia and all that she said. And as you looked up at her whilst the words set in, you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself, other than to pull her down so that she rested her rested her full body weight on top of you, where you could wrap your arms around her and hope she felt an ounce of the gratitude that flooded your heart and mind. As it turned out, she made a pretty good weighted blanket.

Nothing more needed to be said by either of you. Sure, there were things you wanted to say, but you had no idea where to begin with any of the things, all positive things, that ran laps around your head. You did notice that some time had passed since you first woke up, and the sky had a little colour to it then. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say but you were sure that you didn’t want to live a life without waking up and being able to experience her in your arms every morning. You had an idea, and the best part was that you knew Alexia would agree, despite it being so early the birds hadn’t even begun to sing yet.

Alexia knew the conversation you’d just had might have overwhelmed you, so the seemingly random request you made next didn’t surprise her much, if at all. You’d take your time to process all that was said, and in an hour or a week or a month when you will have thought about it endlessly, then you’d land on the right words you wanted to say. These things she knew like the back of her hand. 

“Can we go watch the sunrise at the beach?” You felt her smile into your neck where her face was pressed once more, until she raised her head. Her eyes were still puffy from sleep, you could see she was still tired, and her voice was still raspy from being abruptly awoken. Yet, she didn’t hesitate for a second before she nodded easily.

The two of you got out of bed, dressed yourselves in comfy clothes which would keep you warm against the summer morning chill and the sea breeze that’d meet you at the beach, and walked there in comfortable silence, hand in hand. No theatrics, no expectations, and no responsibilities apart from putting one foot in front of the other. The ease it was done with was a small scale example of how easy your relationship felt. Alexia made everything easy. 

Perhaps it was that thought, as you sat with her behind you, back to chest, on the sand with the sun rising over the horizon, that brought a topic to mind you hadn’t had the bravery to question for years. However, the day had hardly begun at that point and it’d already been a lot. So you stored it away for another day. 

— 

Over time in your relationship, as the two of you spent more time together and consequently grew more comfortable with each other, your true selves came out in full. One thing you’d come to learn about Alexia was that there were some days where she was just… perpetually grumpy. No matter how well she slept, whether it be two hours or ten, she just wakes up in a certain mood that you can't shake her out of.

You can handle it normally. She's still the same woman you fell in love with, her attitude towards you doesn't change. In fact, she gets clingy when she gets like she does, and if she can avoid it then she doesn't leave your side, you've come to realise. It’s during this time she seeks you out for comfort and affection the most. She's just… quiet, and withdrawn. And there's that stupid frown on her face the whole time with a scowl that makes her look like she’s got an agenda against anyone that dared to be in the same room as her. When it's a one off situation, it's easy to deal with. But when it happened three days in a row, you'd had enough. You didn't like seeing her like that.

Most of the time, there wasn't any rhyme or reason as to why she woke up in such a funk, and on that occasion you knew there was nothing in particular on her mind. It was just the standard stuff– media commitments, sponsorship meetings and events, game after game, the sorts. They all began to pile up, too much on her mind at once, and it killed her mood completely. The start of a new season was always especially hectic, sometimes more so than the end of the season. At the end, it's just the football she has to worry about and she can handle that with ease. But when everything else is just as intense, if not more, that's when it gets to her most. Sometimes she can find it hard to get her groove, to land on her feet and figure out a good balance, but this time around with the new season, she has you.

That meant there was two ways you could go about with your mission: you could be cheery, light-hearted and teasing in the hopes of forcing enough laughter out of her that it uplifts her spirit, or you could shower her with enough love that she has no choice but to crack and give one of those smiles that you love so much, the one that brightens her eyes and causes creases in the corners of them. 

But the perfect approach was to combine the two options. 

So, on that third day, when she got out of bed with a heavy sigh and headed straight to the shower the moment her alarm rang out, you figured out part one of your plan. You weren't offended by how abruptly she left the comfort of the bed, it was typical for her to shower first so she could get started on breakfast. In fact, that time, it worked in your favour.

You grabbed the first jumper you saw from the wardrobe and pulled on a pair of joggers, then slipped on your trainers and rushed out the door with your phone in hand. Just around the corner of Alexia's apartment was her favourite breakfast place, where they did her favourite pastries and coffee that she only treated herself to once in a blue moon. You knew it'd be a bit of a struggle to convince her to eat them on a training day, but you were almost certain you could do it. Alexia could hardly ever say no to you, and even if she tried, she always gave in eventually.

It didn't take long at all to run your little errand, and just as you got back, stood at the front door fiddling with the key, your phone vibrated in what could only be a concerned phone call from Alexia. When you eventually muddled your way into the apartment, juggling keys and the food and whatnot, the first thing you heard was Alexia’s signature huff coming from the kitchen area. The noise sounded out through the otherwise silent flat, another thing indicative of her distaste for the world.

“A dónde fuiste?” She rounded the corner with her infamous frown, her face turning into one of confusion when she spotted the coffee cup and paper bag in your hands. To anyone else, she might have seemed somewhat angry at you for leaving. However, you knew she wasn’t, she just hadn’t expected to find the house empty when she got out the shower and, though she wouldn’t verbally admit it, she walked around her flat like a child that’d had a nightmare looking for a hug from you.

“Desayuno.” You smiled sheepishly, coming to stand in front of her.

“Oh.” She hummed, not really giving much away emotion-wise. And yet, the frown stayed. “But it is training today.”

“You can have a one-off, Ale. You need a pick-me-up, something to cheer you up.” You told her, holding both things out to her. She took the takeaway cup with no second thoughts, but she stared at the paper bag like it had offended her.

“What is a pick-me-up?” Alexia grumbled, sipping the coffee and giving a tiny nod of approval that made you smile.

“It's just something to cheer you up. A treat.” Still, she looked sceptical. But, you could see it clear as day, the tiny ounce of appreciation she felt towards you that was evident in the way her eyes had softened just a tad.

“Did you get any?” You knew that if she knew she wasn’t the only one having a cheat-breakfast (though a couple pastries could hardly class as that at all) then she’d be more likely to eat. Also, as if you would miss out on the chance of pastries either.

“Of course I did. So I’m going to go shower and you have whichever ones you want, alright?” You placed the paper bag down on the kitchen counter and left a kiss on her frowning face before heading to her ensuite. 

Lo and behold, some time later, to your amusement (but not your surprise) you walked in to see the pastries untouched in the spot you left them as Alexia unloaded the dishwasher, eyes flicking back and forth between that very offensive brown bag and the cutlery holder in her hand. You shook your head and fought off a smile, padding over to stand in front of her with an eyebrow raised.

“You are honestly not going to eat them?” You asked accusingly. As a matter of fact, you knew she was. Because you had to leave in twenty minutes and she hadn’t started any breakfast preparations, she was just really dragging this whole thing on. She had quite the flare for dramatics when she wanted.

“No sé.” She shrugged a moment later, turning away from you to resume her chores. All you could do was laugh.

“Eat the fucking pastries, gruñonita.” You told her, cupping her cheeks and leaning in to kiss her softly. Afterwards, you leaned back and looked at her, a serious but affectionate look. “Today is a good day, okay? We have training and nothing else on, so we can come back here and just laze around together. Cheer up, Ale. It’s not nice seeing you like this.” 

There was a smile on her face after that. Though it did look somewhat forced, you could tell by her eyes that under the surface she did mean it. Then she sheepishly raised her arms for a hug, to which you grinned and walked into them, wrapping an arm around her waist as the hand of your other cradled the back of her head, urging her to rest her forehead against your shoulder, which she did with ease. She settled into the embrace, letting out a deep exhale and allowing herself a few minutes to try to relax. It was futile, of course. There was still so much on her mind that she just couldn’t shake. 

“Which ones do you want?” She asked with another sigh as she pulled back far sooner than you expected. However, she did finally pick up the damn bag, so one thing at a time you supposed.

Soon as she saw the selection you chose, she seemed a lot less reluctant about her breakfast options that day. The two of you chose which ones you wanted, splitting the ones you argued over in half to share, Alexia watching with a soft smile when you nodded and hummed in delight at each bite you took from them. As you ate, you both got lost in conversation– or rather, you rambled and she listened– until you were rushing down to the car with your bags in your hands and crumbs around your mouths. When you sat in the passenger seat of the midfielder’s car, you couldn’t help but giggle at the chocolate on Alexia’s cheek when she turned to look out the back window to reverse. Of course, her stupid frown came flying back, but it didn’t last long when you gently wiped away the remnants of breakfast before kissing the corner of her mouth. Just as quick as it came, the frown left, replaced by pink cheeks and a bashful smile.

From when she woke up compared to how she felt driving to training, she already noticed a distinct difference in her mood. And that was completely down to you. She stole glances at you from the driver’s seat any chance she could as she drove, a warm fuzzy feeling in her chest at the sight of you gazing at the window, as you often did. She felt significantly lighter than she had in days, though she wanted nothing more than to turn the car around and go back home with you.

Which… never happened to her. 

Everybody knew she loved training, not only was it fun but it was a chance to get better, to grow the team more colossal than it already was, to bond with the people she considered her second family. Alexia Putellas loved training. But on this occasion? God, she just couldn’t be bothered.

That wasn’t the attitude of a beast, however, so she kept schtum about it. Though the displeased expression on her face was noticed by everybody on the pitch, teammate or staff member. Her eyes were on you more than they were the ball, as if just looking at you made her feel better. If anybody asked, she’d say it did, because you were the sun in her life and when she was feeling especially cloudy, being in close proximity to you was almost enough to lighten her mood. Almost, because as she had established in the car, she’d much rather there be absolutely zero distance between you.

Ingrid had to stop Mapi, Esmee, and Vicky from commenting about the way the captain mindlessly followed you around and stuck to your side throughout the session in between drills, ever the wise one of the group realising there must be something bothering Alexia if she was acting this disjointed and disconnected whilst playing football. The other three grumbled about it until Pere called the end of training, and they quickly lost interest in their hopeless capi, instead racing off to lunch together. 

Like you expected, she immediately came to your side, not saying a word as she did so. You glanced over at her only to find she appeared more tired and done with the world than she did before. It made you frown, and you put an arm around her shoulders to draw her closer, resting your head against hers. Her hand came up to hold yours and she trudged inside with you like Eeyore, your mind reeling on what you could do for her once you got home. All you could land on was letting her relax, whether that be with you or not. 

When you finally got back to her apartment, she changed into one of her Nike tracksuits and beelined for the sofa, her hood up with a face like thunder. You stood in the middle of the lounge area, not sure what to do with yourself and too afraid to ask considering she didn’t seem like talking. 

Alexia huffed. She got up off the sofa, grabbed your hand, and pulled you down onto it. She draped herself on top of you, head on your chest, and her eyes quickly fell shut as she finally got what she had wanted from the second she woke up. You smiled and slipped your hands under her hoodie, lightly trailing your fingers up and down her back. The blonde was smiling and laughing and joking around by the time the sun set, back to her normal self, thanks to you.

—

“Wake up. Ale, wake up.”

The blonde vaguely heard whispering in her ear, but she was still far, far away from reality as she slept soundly.

“Wake up, Alexia. Come on.”

Then there was a push against her shoulder that rolled her onto her back, and she huffed in irritation and covered her eyes with her forearm, not at all pleased with the disruption.

“For helvete. Wake UP!” 

A weight landed on her waist, two hands on her shoulders too that shook her awake, finally. She groaned, letting out a curse word or two in her own mother tongue, before she removed her arm and cracked one eye open. 

“There we go. Good morning!” You beamed at her from where you straddled her torso, sitting back and crossing your arms over your chest as she came to. “Thought you’d never wake up again.”

“Why you wake me? My alarm… not heard it yet.” Her hands rubbed at her eyes as she spoke, and your grin turned into a slight wince at the… early hour you’d awoken her. It wasn’t early early, it’s just that the sun hadn’t quite made an appearance yet. 

“It’s new boot day today.” You hummed, frowning when she didn’t meet your excitement.

“N…new boot day?” Alexia rasped, still coming to grips with the world. Her hands landed on your thighs, still squinting at you out of tiredness and confusion. “Qué?”

“We get new boots today. I love it when we get sent new ones. You know that.” You mumbled, and your dejected demeanour seemed to sober up the woman below you.

“I know that. I love it too. Creo… the new ones I get today, they are cool. You will like them.” She wasn’t entirely sure if she was making sense, she didn’t really know what she was saying still, but you perked up again when she finished which she took as a good sign.

“I can’t remember which ones I’m getting. It’s like Christmas. Last time, they gave me the-”

You went off into a ramble at that, and Alexia simply laid there and listened to every word. However, if you asked her to recite every word, then… she’d be a bit lost. There was one thing on her mind, at the mention of Christmas. Something she’d thought about for a long while. And the sight of you on top of her, talking endlessly about something as small as fresh football boots yet being so excited about it that you couldn’t help but wake her up, it only exacerbated the thought she had. Well, two actually. The first being that she loved you. The second being–

“I want to come to Norway with you.” 

At first you were annoyed at her interruption, thrown off your train of thought as you tried to remember which boots you were getting through the process of elimination. But then you paused, and you processed her words, and you pursed your lips to prevent your excitement coming out too soon.

“You want to come to Norway with me?” You repeated in a shy, quiet voice. You really didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, because this was something you had wanted since you saw her in the airport after your trip last Christmas. The poor woman had just woken up, she probably didn’t even think before she spoke. Or maybe she was trying to cheer you up, or shut you up, or-

“Sí. Contigo. If you will have me.” 

Alexia seemed as equally shy as you did, worried that you’d reject her and shut her down, or freak out and feel like she’d crossed a line you weren’t ready for her to cross yet. You sat there, still on top of her, slightly in awe at the sudden statement she had made. You stayed frozen until you saw her gulp nervously, gazing up at you with wide eyes as she chewed on her lower lip. All her anxiety disappeared the moment you surged forwards and buried your face into her neck with a grin that could have left an imprint on her skin, wrapping yourself around her tightly, the blonde laughing into your ear.

And that was that. So, on the 27th of December, just before evening turned to night, you were waiting at the airport for her this time, in your home country, the city you grew up in. 

It was agreed you’d spend Christmas apart with your respective families, before Alexia would fly out two days later where you’d pick her up. Only a few days had passed since you last saw each other, but it somehow felt even longer than the ten days did the Christmas before. So, it was safe to say, you could hardly stand still while you waited at the arrivals door where she’d walk through. 

When she came into view, you couldn’t help but laugh. She’d been in the country for barely two minutes and she already looked ice cold; coat zipped up to her chin, the hoods of her coat and her hoodie both up, her sleeve pulled over the hand that dragged her suitcase as the other couldn’t have been deeper in her pocket if she tried, even the tip of her nose and her cheeks were red. 

For a second, she paused in place a few steps away from the door, head on a swivel trying to find you before she spotted you, and her whole demeanour lit up. She maneuvered between the holiday crowds with a coy smile as you watched, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet while she made her way over.

“You’re here.” You stated softly, unable to stop the beaming smile when she nodded and wrapped you up in her arms. Your cheeks had already begun to ache, even though she’d only just arrived. 

“Qué frío hace.” She mumbled into your jacket, letting out a content sigh when she heard you laugh in response. “I’m serious.”

“You knew what you were getting yourself into.” You pulled back and gave her a pointed look, to which she rolled her eyes jokingly. “You’re okay though?”

“Sí, I just can’t feel my fingers anymore.” She huffed before smirking at how you rolled your eyes too. “I’m happy to be here. Muy feliz.”

“You’re coming back home with me.” The blonde puffed her cheeks out as she half-exhaled, half-scoffed at your slightly teasing words. She shook you off and hugged you again, trying to disguise her anxiety at the obstacle she had to soon get over. “Are you shaking because you’re cold or because you’re nervous?” 

Of course, you knew her better than almost everyone.

“How did you know I was nervous?” She grumbled into the collar of your jacket, subtly trying to warm her frost-bitten nose. You chuckled at her slight embarrassment at being caught out and turned to kiss her cheek.

“You don’t need to be nervous. My family have been singing your praises since the day you helped me when I almost fainted in training. They’re your biggest fans, you don’t even know half of it.” You thought saying that might put her somewhat at ease, but she lifted her head up abruptly and fixed you with a terrified expression.

“Vale, so big expectations then, no?” She fretted, attempting to come across as if she was kidding, when the fear in her eyes spoke for her. 

“Ale, you will be fine. I swear my life on it.” Alexia took a deep breath in and nodded, forcing an awkward smile that made you laugh quietly. “Actually, if you smile like that, they might send you away.”

“I hate you.”

You grinned smugly and took her suitcase from her, then linked your arm with hers and headed towards the exit. Once you left the building, Alexia’s eyes widened in intimidation at the setting that waited before her. The surrounding area was white. Completely white. She hadn’t ever seen such snow in her life.

The poor Spaniard trailed impossibly slowly behind you, walking like bambi on ice to keep her life intact. It baffled her completely how you strode ahead so confidently, as if the ground wasn’t a death trap below your feet. When she finally made it in the car, she almost threw herself into the passenger seat out of relief, much to your amusement. She heard the laugh you tried to suppress and shot you an unimpressed stare as she put her seatbelt on, mumbling a prayer under her breath at the thought of you driving in this weather. Her grumpy face didn’t change much even after you reassured her you had winter tyres on, because she didn’t even know they existed.

But, obviously, you two made it to your parent’s house with both yourselves and the car in one piece, though the same couldn’t be said for the mentally fragile passenger beside you whose nervous system was probably in tatters at that point. Nobody was home when you arrived, a purposeful plan to ease yours and Alexia’s nerves – your family hadn’t ever met anybody you’d dated before – so you went to unlock the door as she got her luggage out the back of the car. However, even from afar, you could see the tension in her posture and how her hands trembled ever so slightly. 

An idea popped into your head; perhaps it was cruel, but it’d take her mind off of the whole thing.

“Oye! I just got here, I nearly fell!” Alexia exclaimed, snow scattered across the right shoulder of her coat due to the snowball you’d launched at her. You preened under the glare she gave, until she slowly crouched down to the powder under her feet. 

Being back with the snow after a year without it, it was only right to indulge in a twenty minute long snowball fight. Alexia didn’t care much for balance or for meeting your parents when the option of pelting you with snow was offered on a silver platter.

—

Alexia fit in with your family better than you ever expected, she really did have nothing to worry about. Not only that, she seemed to settle into life in Norway seamlessly; the cold she still loathed, and in turn you loathed how she always put her icy hands on your skin, but… she belonged. And she enjoyed the simplicity of it a hundred more times than she thought. 

Mornings were slow and lazy, afternoons were spent exploring the place you grew up, evenings were filled with anecdotes from your family and friends over drinks and incredible meals, and nights were just the two of you in perhaps the comfiest, warmest bed Alexia had ever slept in.

She liked her hectic life back in Spain, that was without a doubt. But the peaceful life you had and your family provided during her stay was something she could definitely get used to. She was already waiting for the right moment to ask when you both could come back again. Your lives back in Spain felt like a million miles away, they were two worlds apart. It was just quality time together with the welcome company of your other favourite people in the world– it was bliss.

And your family hadn’t ever seen you quite so… content and carefree. That revelation reached its peak only three days into Alexia’s stay.

You’d dragged her out on a day of sightseeing, though it was especially cold and that much was evident in the way she wore two pairs of gloves and four layers underneath her coat, which she’d been given for the time being after getting caught shivering in the car by your mother the day before. You pulled her from place to place, animatedly rambling about memories or weird little facts you had about each location you went to. Not once did she complain. Even despite the weather, she listened to every word, happily following you around and taking in everything you had to say.

The only way to thank her for entertaining you was by running the hottest bath you could for her in the hopes it might defrost her enough that her hands returned from their lobster-red shade, but apparently that wasn’t even enough. So you loosely plaited her hair for her, gave her the comfiest pajamas you owned, and led her downstairs to relax together in front of the log burner. 

She watched from her place on the sofa under a mountain of blankets whilst you quickly and precisely lit a roaring fire, its crackles sounding through the room as you made your way over to join her, the orange flames reflecting in her eyes when she smiled up at you. You willed her to sit up momentarily, which she did, before sliding onto the couch so that when she lay down again, her head was on your chest. 

A year had passed since you first got together, a year since you kissed her, a year since you got a girlfriend that treated you better than any stranger ever had. Never in your life could you have pictured you’d end up like this; in your family home with the love of your life in your arms. 

Your first anniversary wasn’t anything big, it just entirely summarised how the two of you fit together. A breakfast date at the cafe you’d gone to way back when, a walk around the city you fell in love in. It was decided that a quick nap would be very welcome once you got back to your flat. Alexia cooked dinner, you helped when she let you (which unfortunately wasn’t very often), you exchanged two presents each, before Alexia helped you to pack since your flight home was the day after. Then you went to bed together, watching a few episodes of the show you were into, until you both fell asleep. Perfect.

Your family hadn’t seen this side of you ever before, because it didn’t exist. Not until Alexia came into your life. 

As you lay in front of the fire, you simply just enjoyed each other’s company without any interruptions. It wasn’t often you had this much free time together, so you made the most of it. There was some light conversation, talking about anything and everything whilst laughing quietly, both of you feeling it more than hearing it. Until there was an interruption, but you just didn’t care.

“Engel, your family.” Alexia whispered when she heard footsteps heading towards the room, going to move out of your hold when you tightened your arms around her. Usually you weren’t a fan of PDA, but something about that moment made that habit of yours seem so unimportant and useless.

When she realised you weren’t budging, Alexia settled back down with a slightly proud smile on her face, though honestly she was just relieved she didn’t have to move because she was quite comfortable, and finally warm.

Your mother knocked on twice, before quietly opening the door so that she didn’t interrupt the serene setting. You beamed up at her, a surprised look on her face. 

“What?” You wondered curiously, puzzled at her confusion.

“I am just surprised.” She said, a hopeful smile on her face. “You know, Alexia, she doesn’t share a blanket with just anybody. She never does. Only with you.”

Alexia laughed gently, lifting her head up to look at you and spotting the light blush on your face. You shrugged, an action that said ‘what can I say, I’m in love’, and that was more than enough for the both of them.

—

One day, you found yourselves in a cable car, heading up to the top of one of the mountains near your hometown. You had suggested that you hike up it, but the look of fear on Alexia’s face at the thought of going up a mountain in the snow was enough for that plan to fly out the window in seconds.

Alexia sat across from you, bundled up in her outdoor gear, looking like the estranged twin of the Michelin man. Her attention was solely on you, whilst you gawked at the 360 view around that still blew your mind despite the hundreds of times you’d done this little journey. You were in awe, you exuded peacefulness, and Alexia couldn't stop herself from speaking.

“You… you light up here. You love it here.” She started, out of nowhere. You turned away from the window and tilted your head in confusion at both her words and the rather morose expression she wore.

“I do. But I also love Barcelona, so you can get that forlorn look off your face, reina del drama.” Your teasing words hardly even reached her.

“But… how? This is your home.” She continued. You rolled your eyes.

“My god. You’re such an idiot. Did you know that you live in Barcelona? And that’s one really big reason why I love it so much?” Somehow, that rendered the captain speechless. Her cheeks were pink, though you couldn’t tell if it was from the chilly weather or your heartfelt words. She smiled shyly and shrugged a shoulder. “Don’t get too big headed, it’s not just you. It’s the club, the environment, my friends that are like family at this point. It’s the feeling of belonging I finally have after… after basically searching for it my whole life. The weather is also nice when it’s not life-threateningly hot. I like the beach and the greenery. And you. So get over yourself.” 

You had no idea where this sudden onslaught of doubt came from for her, but you didn’t like the slightly anxious demeanour she had. You moved to sit beside her, resting your head on her shoulder and taking her hand in yours. Though you knew it was natural, and that Alexia was no stranger to falling victim to her mind, it never failed to make your heart clench that your favourite person in the world could really believe there was ever a possibility that you’d jump at the chance to leave her. 

No matter where football took you both, or just the world in general, you would do anything to keep her in your life, so that you could see her grumpy face in the morning and hear her soft snores at night that helped to soothe you when sleep escaped you. There was so much that she added to your life, you simply wouldn’t survive if she weren’t in it permanently for the rest of it. She had to know that. 

“I love you, Ale. And whether our future is in Barcelona or here or halfway across the world, I’m not doing any of it without you.” You told her honestly. And she appreciated it more than she could express. 

Of course she knew how much she meant to you, it was just nice to be reminded just how much from time to time. Sometimes, she caught herself feeling guilty that you were the one in her city, at her club, surrounded by her family. She wondered how you coped without all those things when she didn’t think she could do it, but you were you. You were stronger than the average person, stronger than anyone she’d ever come across. Sure, you got homesick from time to time, but you took on the challenge of moving to a hot country, with people you didn’t know, with a language you didn’t speak, and took the whole thing in your stride. Alexia wasn’t sure she could do that, and she was in awe of you for it. 

She herself didn’t know where that worrisome blip came from, and she didn’t exactly mean to voice it so suddenly. Yet, like always, you took each and every anxiety of hers and took it away from her in such a subtle way, she almost forgot what she worried about in the first place. Alexia simply wouldn’t survive if you weren’t in her life either.

A period of silence fell after that. There was one thing along this short journey that always caught your eye; the small, local football stadium. God knows how many hours you spent in it growing up, transitioning from being a fan in the stands to a player on the pitch. It also happened to be a place you’d been to countless times with the national team. 

The possibility that you had been considering for some time, on your own, hit especially hard at that moment, so much so that it almost took your breath away. Though it filled you with fear, it was something that, as time went on, you longed for more and more. And after the short but especially meaningful conversation you just had, you knew the women to the left of you made it seem much more appealing than it ever had before. There’s no chance it would have happened without her, so now that you did have her, you were going to take full advantage of the confidence and self-belief she’d instilled in you. 

“Do you think I could ever fit back into the national team?” You said it.

Alexia didn’t seem even half as shocked at the question than you thought she would. And you realised, as she debated her next words carefully, that she’d probably known for a while that there was something on your mind, she was just waiting for you to come to her about it.

“Of course. You would be one of the best players there.” She chose a lighter direction to start with, and the sheepish gaze you gave her told her it was the right decision. You stayed silent for a little longer, somewhat afraid of turning what used to be nothing more than a daydream into a reality. One that could end amazingly, or terribly. The unknown was terrifying.

“What if… I tried, but I couldn’t handle it again?” Your voice could hardly be classed as a whisper, almost unintelligible and drowned out by the wind and the whirring of the cable car. “I miss playing for Norway. They still check in every six months to see if I want to go back. I just… don’t know what to think.” 

An arm slid around your shoulders and a reassuring kiss was pressed to your temple. You sighed and leaned into the comfort she offered as she gathered her thoughts once more.

“You have been thinking about this for a while, engel. I know that because I have seen it in your face. You are in a very different place than you were when you chose to leave, all those years ago.” She began, pausing for a second for you to process what she was saying. “You are so different. You know yourself better, you know what works for you and what doesn’t. You are older, more mature, more experienced both in football and your life. I believe you could handle it.”

You closed your eyes when she uttered that last sentence, the weight of it winding you. You’d waited years to hear that. Your heart beated a little faster, your eyes burned with the sting of tears that formed, your mouth went dry. Nothing could have prepared you to hear that. Alexia let it sit for some time, her hand moving down so that she could slowly run it up and down your back. However, she felt compelled to continue, so she did.

“It would be an adjustment, of course it would. But I know you, and I know you could do it. I want you to do it because I know it will go well, and I think that it being a success would prove to you and let you see for yourself how far you have come. I see it, Ingrid sees it, we all see it. I feel like you don’t let yourself see it sometimes and I want you to. I want you to be proud of yourself.” 

That was exactly why you decided to speak up about the topic when you did. 

However, in your overloaded mind in that moment, there was one aspect of how she worded things that made your stomach drop.

“Would you think differently of me if I didn’t do it? As a player, if I didn’t represent my country?” 

As if she would ever. 

“Of course I wouldn’t.” She said, grimacing afterwards at how defensive it sounded. She regretted it instantly when you apologised, to which she shook her head in response and hugged you closer. “I don’t judge Mapi for not wanting to play on the national team, I never could. And I never could judge you for it either.”

“But Mapi has different reasons.” You argued feebly.

“Different reasons on paper, yes. But you both do it because you have values important to you and that is the only thing that matters.” You nodded, because you couldn’t argue with that one. 

The conversation wasn’t over, but it went a million times better than you thought it would. So as you both let the words and the weight of it to settle, you found yourself… smiling. Because it seemed much more likely and possible than it had in years.

“Would you be disappointed if I didn’t end up going back?” After all, that’d mean the conversation was totally pointless. You didn’t want to get her hopes up just to fail miserably and make a laughing stock of yourself.

“No. I know that you will really think hard about this and if you decide that it isn’t good for you, then I stand by you with that because you don’t shy away from new things. If you choose not to, I know it’s because you have genuine reasons. So, no, I would not be disappointed with you and I never could be.” 

How she always knew what to say, you didn’t know. Or, rather, you hadn’t ever had someone say all the right things, someone that understood you on such a level like Alexia did, who knew what you were truly capable of and what you weren’t. Most importantly, someone that told you it was okay if you weren’t capable of doing something. 

“You always ask me what first made me fall in love with you. Well, one reason was your determination and your strength. You have had more setbacks than most, you have to tackle obstacles in your way almost everyday, yet you still wake up every morning and don’t let anything stop you. You still do new things, come across new challenges, and you thrive so well after them. You are… there’s nobody like you.”

Well, you would be a fool not to give it a go at least.

—

there is a small chance this could be my last fic before uni starts, buuut i have ended this fic this way so that whenever i feel like writing it i can get started asap for the next reverie fic which will be about the national team. however idk how these next few weeks will look but i think i should probably get it done since i leave my full time job on friday and will be free as a birddd for a few weeks til uni. but i hope you enjoyed this, ty ty ty for reading <3

[hehe-69]

Bonfire part 6

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Warnings: WOLFPACK!!!! FLUFF ~IDIOTS IN LOVE~ lil bit of angst ~Low key Jared slander but it’s for the sake of comedy~ ARGUING CUSSING ~LONG ASS POST~ sorry

I’m having a lot of fun writing this long fic. My favorite part so far is writing for the Wolfpack so definitely expect to see more of them. As always I hope you enjoy!

Summery: Jacob and reader’s relationship has reached a new level of intimacy but questions left unanswered are holding them back from becoming something more. Will Jacob tell them about imprinting, or will he cover it up in hopes that they choose him without feeling an obligation to do so. In other words Jacob is feeling insecure because someone he thought he loved didn’t love him enough *cough cough Bella Swan cough cough* Reader and Jacob get into an kinda argument in this one Did I mention Angst in the warning? It’s only a little, barely even noticeable. Jared and reader have biblical level beef (affectionately)

Also if you couldn’t tell, Embry is my second favorite werewolf right behind Jacob Balck

I hope you like it and don’t think it sucks🤠👍

As you’re packing up your bag to go back home, Jacob invites you to a Wolfpack Bonfire at the beach of La Push. Of course you say yes, but little did you know…it’d change you and Jacob’s relationship forever.

(Basically this part is about you and Jacob making it official and working out the kinks of your relationship. Before Jacob goes full yearning mode on you)

😈

On the ride to La Push you are in the cab of Jacob’s truck with Emily, Sam (both in the front with Sam driving), Leah, and Seth(sitting in the back with you in the middle). While the rest of the boys including Jacob are in the bed of the truck with the fire wood. Jacob had been watching you warmly from his spot in the bed of the truck, smiling as he watched you talk with Leah and Seth.

“Glad to see you’ve finally moved on from Bella Jacob.” Embry teases him and shoulder bumps Jacob, who immediately looks annoyed. “Yeah no kidding!” Quill agrees sitting across from Jacob. “Your pining was starting to get hard to watch. Like, I felt bad for you.” And the boys laugh and makes sounds of agreement.

“Haha, okay you can all shut up now.” Jacob hisses at them, Embry puts his hands up. “Hey man, don’t take it out on us. We’re just observers.” Then Embry looks at Jacob seriously. “But on a serious note, you’ve always looked happier around (Y/N). It’s about time you realized how much better they are for you. I mean it’s only been horrendously painful to watch you two act like idiots in love.”

“It was nothing like that!” Jacob exclaims. “Oh it wasn’t huh?” Quill pipes up and his tone turns teasing. “Shall we reenact your internal obsessive monologue once more.”

“Oh I hope (Y/N) is okay.” Jared begins as desperation fills his voice. “I hope they don’t think I don’t care about them anymore.” Quill says dramatically. “Oh no what if they hate me now.” Embry whines. “Why didn’t I invite them to hang out more when I had the chance” Jared says and grabs onto Quill shaking him as he speaks. “Maybe I should call them” Embry adds. “Maybe I-“Okay I think he gets the point.” Paul pipes up, cutting Quill off. Paul himself is annoyed listing to them all talk. “But really man,” Paul looks Jacob in the eyes. “It’s that obvious.” And Jacob groans and throws his head back.

“Yeah I think I’m getting that impression.” Jacob says sass dripping from his voice. “Dude you were all over (Y/N) at Emily’s after Paul almost mulled them and Bella. No one could get them to snap out of it but you put a hand on their back and boom.” Jared keeps on going on and on. But Paul doesn’t snap at him, instead he starts to look really guilty.

Jacob begins to blush at that and stammer. “Oh my God.” Quill says watching Jacob’s reaction. “HOLY SHIT YOU LOV-“Keep your fucking voice down dumbass!” Paul hisses, cutting Jared off and saving Jacob’s ‘secret’. “Anyone can hear your loud ass mouth from miles away.”

The boys continue to pick on Jacob for the entire ride, even PAUL joins in at one point. But Jacob can’t help but feel like he deserves it, he spent months lying to himself, telling himself he loved Bella not you. But it never changed anything, and now his more scared then ever.

What did he have to offer you, Jacob isn’t the boy he was before, he isn’t as carefree and honest. He’s lied to you, betrayed you when you needed him, ghosted you for weeks, left you out of the group to spend one on one time with Bella, and you never even once judged him for any of it. And it only made it sting more. Jacob isn’t the kind of monster anyone can love.

———

You’re not sure what it is, but you feel this heart-aching sensation in your chest. It’s the kind you feel sympathetically for a person who’s deeply upset. “Weird.” You whisper to yourself. “Are you okay (Y/N)?” Leah asks you her voice is filled with concern as she puts a hand on your shoulder. “You look really upset.”

“I’m okay. I promise.” You say reassuringly but Leah isn’t convinced, she lets it go for now. But she keeps an eye on you as you and Seth start talking about how excited you both are for the bonfire.

Sam glances over at his fiancée in the passenger seat, and they share a knowing look. Sam is telepathic after all and he’s Alpha of the pack (ugh🤢 I can’t write the word alpha without cringing). No one can hide something from him for long, not even Jacob Black.

Sam isn’t upset Jacob hid the imprint from him, he’s upset that Jacob hid it from you. He understands why he might, Jacob never really did have the best outlook on the topic on imprinting. Sam can hear what Jacob thinks of himself, and it makes the man grip the steering wheel tight enough for his knuckles to turn white.

Sam isn’t the best leader, he’s painfully aware of that. But he truly cares for every single member of his pack, and he hates when what they are limits them. It should make them proud, not scared or sad.

This is their heritage, their clan’s legacy and he wants them to be proud of what they are and what they can do. They are worriers and protectors, but they are also sons and daughters, family and friends, and they shouldn’t be afraid to be loved. And he is so painfully aware that he is the reason that they are all so scared, he’s let is own failures, fears and shortcomings make them sacred of hurting the people they love the way he hurt Emily.

—————

There are moments during the Bonfire set up that make everyone in the pack and you forget about vampires and battles. And within that moment, you’re all normal people, teens who still have childish behaviors and like to pick on one another.

Here are some moments that remind you all how beautiful and fun being around friends and loved ones can be. Even tho you roast and pick on one another.

As you walk along the beach of La Push for a bit while the boys unload the wood from Jacob’s truck, and you noice a small mud crab sitting comfortably in the sand. Your eyes begin to gleam with mischievous intent as a mastermind plan forms in your brain.

(If you don’t like crabs or anything you can change it to something you’re more comfortable with. But try to imagine something Jared will HATE)

You walk up to Jared with an evil smile on your face, crab in hand but hidden behind your back. This is going to be glorious. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Jared asks, he eyes shine with confusion and a concern for his own safety as you don’t reply. Instead your smile widens as you shove the crab in Jared’s face, the boy immediately starts sprinting away from you screaming his head off as you chase with with the poor crab.

“(Y/N) IM BEING SO FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!! GET THAT FUCKING THING AWAY FROM MEEEE!!!!” Jared screeches of horror only fuel your resolve to tournament him with the small crustacean. “BUT JARED ITS JUST A LIL CRAB!” You sing song as you continue to chase after him.

~

“HE MADE FUN OF ME FOR BRING CAPRISUNS TO THE BONFIRE AND THEN PROCEEDED TO DRINK ALL OF MY CAPRISUNS!!!” Seth shouts, and you’re shocked, you never thought such a sweet boy could look so so very angry. “Sam it’s either you punish him or I beat the shit out of him and both my fits are already up.” Leah says, defending her brother and she looks like she’s about to ripp Jared’s head off.

~

“It’s okay because what I lack in brains I make up for in personality.” Jared defends himself after stacking the wood wrong. “Who told you that?” You and Jacob ask him at the same time acting genuinely concerned and the pack laughs at the witty response you and Jacob delivered. “I hate you both.” Jared hisses and you smile and tell him you hate him more. Jacob laughs as he stands there with crossed arms, watching you and Jared argue like siblings.

~

“WHAT WAS THE FUCKING PONT OF EATING EACH INDIVIDUAL PART OF THE GOD DAMN S’MORE INSTEAD OF MAKING A FUCKING S’MORE YOU ULTIMATE BITCH!” You watch Quill smile to himself proudly as he has effectively rage baited Paul, sending him into a reasonable crash out about the sanctity of s’mores.

~

“When’s the last time you two were here together?” You ask Quill and Embry, they used to go to La Push all the time. “A couple of weeks ago?” Quill offers out the estimate. “Feels like a lifetime.” Embry says with fake desperation as he looks Quill in the eyes and leans in like he’s going to kiss the boy. “EEEWWWW!! STOP TRYING TO FUCKING KISS ME YOU FREAK!!!” Quill screeches as he pulls away from Embry.

—————

BONFIRE TIME

By the time everything was set up and you all were huddled in a circle by the fire, there was just a sliver of light that could be scene peaking out from the waters. It was significantly colder than you anticipated, but luckily for you Jacob brought a jacket with him just because he knew you’d end up cold. So there you are, sitting on a log with Jacob Balck, in his jacket that smelled like him, laughing and telling stories with the Wolfpack.

“Okay,” Quill begins, “I’m not blowing shit up your ass this is so good.” Quill had his eyes closed eating a properly made s’more. “I’m not sure that’s a saying.” Paul instantly replies as everyone else around the fire is dying laughing. “I’ll tell you what I’m NOT doing is blowing shit up your ass.” Embry says making fun of Quill who is now wheezing and trying to not choke. “It’s smoke.” You manage out through your laughter. “Whatever man I hate this fucking family.” Quill says, beat red and embarrassed, still laughing at himself as he pretends to walk away from the group to never return. By the time he comes back everyone has calmed down, and as soon as he sits they all continue to pick on him.

As Jacob leaves to get more wood for the fire, the topic of imprinting comes up. “What’s imprinting?” You ask, and all the boy look around at each other you notice that the word makes Leah’s face turn sour and Seth’s hand pats his sister comfortingly.

“It’s something that differs for each member of our pack.” Sam begins slowly. “For some of us, it’s a life changing experience, and for others it’s a curse. I’m assuming you’ve heard of soulmates?” Sam looks to you for conformation and you nod your head. “It’s kind of like that, but more. When we imprint on someone, it forms a connection, a bond that cannot be broken or ignored. What it is goes beyond romance or friendship, it’s like…opening your eyes and realizing you’ve lived your who life blind. Stumbling in the darkness and suddenly, there’s light. Whoever we imprint on is that light.”

You think over what happened that night with Jacob, and realized that feeling, those memories and everything that happened. It wasn’t some stressed induced hallucination. It was real, Jacob imprinted on you. “Does Jacob know about imprinting?” You ask, you can’t think of why he wouldn’t tell you for any other reason than him not knowing.

“Does he know about imprinting.” Embry restates your question, laughing to himself. “He’s like the number one hater of imprinting. He says it takes our freedom away from us and our genes convince us to be happy about it.” Embry’s words hit you like a truck, it’s like a bucket of ice cold water is dumped over your head.

Jacob hates imprinting, and he’s imprinted on you, what does this mean for you relationship. Did you unknowingly force him into kissing you just because you wanted him to. You feel like you’re going to be sick and stand up to walk across the beach.

“Hey wait-“Let them go. They need time to think.” Sam tells Leah and she eyes him suspiciously. “You know something don’t you?” Leah accuses and Sam sighs. “It’s not my secret to share.” Sam says simply.

“Where is (Y/N) going? What happened?” Jacob immediately starts questioning the group once he returns.

“We were just talking about imprinting and they got really pale and ran off.” Jared says simply not thinking anything of it. “Shit.” Jacob mumbles to himself before dropping the wood and running after you.

“Huh? Anyone else confused about what the hell all of that was about.” Quill’s face is full of confusion as he watching Jacob run after you. “I think I’ve got an idea.” Embry internally winces at the thought that maybe Jacob imprinted on you and they spilled the beans before he could.

————

“(Y/N)!” Jacob yells after you, you’re about 30ft away from the bonfire by the time he catches up to you. “What hap-“Why wouldn’t you tell me about this Jacob.” You ask as desperation fill your voice as you spin around to face Jacob. “Is it because I’m not her?” Your voice cracks and Jacob’s pained face twist to one of pure horror. “Of course not-“Then why…why hide this. Are you ashamed of me, did us kidding mean nothing to you? Was it just some type of distraction?!” Jacob hates how small and desperate for answers you look right now. Jacob would never be ashamed of you, never. “(Y/N) I just wanted you to have a choice. I wanted you to not feel obligated to be with me because I imprinted on you.” Jacob says imprinted like the very word leave a bad taste in his mouth.

Suddenly you feel like you’re going to throw up. “The imprint showed us what we mean to one another.” Your voice cracks as bitterness fills your throat. “I’ve waited years for you. I waited patiently, I accepted the possibility that you might’ve never wanted me the way I wanted you. I was always there when you needed me. Why would you ever think I wouldn’t want you, Jacob.” Jacob doesn’t say anything, he just stares at the sand in silence and you watch in horror as his tears fall onto it.

“Jacob…loving you is a blessing to my life, but it’s also one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I want to make you happy, I want to be the reason you smile. But I can’t do that if you continue to shut me out.” You say and Jacob nods silently. You want him to scream or shout or do anything but he just stands there. Sad, heartbreakingly small and broken looking. “I’m going to take a walk down the beach. Come find me when you’re finally ready to talk to me about this.” You say, knowing that you both need to think about everything that’s happened today.

“Okay.” He whispers out. And you turn around and walk down the beach, sobbing softly into the darkness.

—————

(I shit you not as I was writing this confession scene Champagne Coast by Blood Orange came on and it made this so much sweeter.)

You sit in the sand and reply what you said over and over again. You feel cruel and pathetic for saying those things to Jacob, you made him cry. But he made you cry too. Sometimes people need to learn how to communicate their feelings before the situation gets blown out of proportion. You’re guilty for this, pretending that Jacob’s actions didn’t sting, like it didn’t kill you inside to know Bella came first over and over again. You don’t want to be some placeholder, you don’t want to be who he wants just because he can’t have her.

So you sit there, dissociated from reality, holding your knees to your chest and staring off into nothingness. You feel numb and disembodied as you mull over your words and actions, and think of thousand different things you could’ve done better.

Once again it’s that same impossibly warm hand on your back and that same breath upon your right ear that pulls you back into reality, the on that tethers you to the earth once more, the one that brings you back from the deep suffocating ocean of your own mind.

You’ve parked yourself a long ways away from the bonfire up the beach. “I’m sorry, I never wanted you to feel like that…I just wanted-I wanted you to have a choice. Without feeling like you had to choose me because of some ancient wolf thing.” Jacob repeats says, sincerely and so bitterly as he rubs circles against your back that sooth your aching soul.

He wants you to want him for him, not for the sake of his sanity or his soul. But because you feel something when you look at him, because you care weather he stays or goes. He wants you to want him to have and to hold, he wants you to tell him that he’s the only person that you want. That you want to have him and never let him feel lonely.

Jacob sits next to you in the sand with his arms on his knees, and you lean your head on his shoulder. He sucks in a breath and breathes out shaky. “I’m sorry,” he begins. “I want to protect you. I want to keep you in my life, but I also wanted you to have a chance to live a normal happy apple pie life. You can’t have that with me.” Jacob’s voice is sad and soft, and it makes your insides twist. “Have you ever considered…that maybe I don’t want an apple pie life.” Your voice is soft as you move your head to look at his face. “All I want is you, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.” Jacob turns and looks you in the eyes, you lift your head off his shoulders and your to your body towards him. Now sitting on your knees in the sand, you bring your hands up to cradle his face in them. “I thought you could’ve seen that…” you whisper as you stroke Jacob’s cheek, the look in his eyes steals the breath from within your lungs. He’s looking at you as if you mean more than anything else around you. “That night when the imprint happened, I saw myself through your eyes. I thought the same thing happened to you, I thought you knew what I feel for you.” You’re leaning forward now, letting your nose brush against Jacob’s, and you swear you hear him whine. “I love you, more than anything.” Your voice is full of emotion as you pull back just enough to look him in the eyes. “I would know you blind, by touch alone. I would know you by how you breaths came against my skin.” And Jacob’s breath hitches, he closes his eyes and wills himself to speak. “You have no idea how much I love you.” Jacob whispered as he turns his body to face yours. He’s on his knees now too and his hands rest on your hips as he puts his forehead against yours. “You the only thing in my life that brings me peace. You’re the light when I’m lost in the dark, and warmth when I shiver in the cold. I’ve never been good with words, but I want you to know.” Jacob’s voice breaks off at the end and his hands slide up to rest on your waist. “To me…to me you are all and more. I don’t want to ever be somewhere where you can’t follow. I want you to be with me, in this life and whatever follows next. It kills me to know I made you think I was ashamed you were my imprint.” He whispers out as if it physically pains him. “You are so beautiful, and smart, and passionate and so fucking patient.” Jacob laughs out softly. “You are everything to me, you are the very air that I breathe. I promise to show you the deep well of my devotion, till your sick and tired of me.” Not good with words my ass you think to yourself as you laugh out breathlessly. It’s like a weight has been lifted, and you smile as you wrap your arms around Jacob’s neck and let one hand thread through his hair.

“Sweet talker.” You laugh out weakly, and Jacob chuckles tiredly. And he doesn’t kiss you, he pulls you into a bear hug of an embrace instead. He grips you tightly and breathes you in as he burrows his head into the curve of your neck. And you hold him as close as possible, a tenderness beyond your whildest dreams fills the very depths of your souls. And you both sit there, listening to each other’s breathing. This kind of intimacy reaches beyond the act of kissing, simply holding each other and basking in each others company. It mends the holes ripped into your hearts from every moment the two of you suffered apart from one another.

And there, in your arms, Jacob feels whole and complete. He feels like more then just some monster, he feel the love you possess for him, the devotion, the tenderness, every ounce of his body and soul buzzes with electric energy. And something deep inside of Jacob heals, a wound that’s been bleeding and burning for months.

————

You both return to the bonfire hand in hand and are greeted by cheering. “THANK FUCK YOURE BOTH FINALLY TOGETHER I WAS ABOUT TO LOOSE MY SHIT IF I HAD TO SPEND ANOTHER 5 MONTHS-“JARED!!!!” Paul practically screams as he grabs hold of the boy. “Shut the fuck up and let them be happy!”

“Hey what’s going on???” Jared asks confused as fuck as the scene fades to black

The writer is ending this part because their thumbs are starting to hurt and they need to force themselves to stop writing.

I’ve officially lost my marbles

————

Guys, I cannot tell you how much I struggled with this part. I’m so sleep deprived rn but I finished it.

I pray y’all like it because I spent wayyyy too much time on it. I’m sorry it’s so long.

Thank you for reading this far! Part 7 will be shorter and have more Wolfpack and lighthearted moments. It’ll be about the rest of the time at the Bonfire and then I’ll write more parts that follow the plot line after.

Feel free you request anything you’d like to see in future parts as a reward for putting up with my shitty writing skills<3

Love ya🫶

Part 7

[jumpywhumpywriter]

heyyyy, hope ur having a good dayyy. i was just curious about your favorite whump stories from OTHER creatorsss :)

Okay, this took me HOURS to find and link everything, so hope you like it! (HUGE shout out to all the wonderful whump writers out there like myself) There are so many good stories out there.

Here's are my absolute FAVORITE whump series (solo short stories are at the bottom)

The Bahkauv series by @deluxewhump (one of my top favorites)

Heroic Betrayal by @chaotic-orphan

Kane & Jim series by @whumpsday (vampire story)

Suppressing Fire by @whumperstorm (fanfiction of Kane & Jim series)

Bring by @serickswrites

Remember You by @robinrites (villain whumpee story)

Delirious Villain, Hero Caretaker by @chaotic-orphan

Into the Woods series by @knivestothroats

Blood & Tears series by @whumpisgoodwhumpislife (Another great vampire story involving a blind vampire-hybrid)

A Cure for Solitude by @jazztag

Lethal Weapon Whumpee by @serickswrites

The Rare Bookseller and the Vampire Auction series by @oliversrarebooks

Professional Victim series by @victimeyez (NSFW, read at your own risk)

The Crow and the Dove by @there-will-always-be-blood (has some NSFW chapters be warned -- not for minors)

An Apple a Day by @nami-writes

Defiant Leader Confident Villain by @chaotic-orphan

The Stranger by @chaotic-orphan

Happy by @a-whisper-in-the-forest

The Center by @whump-a-la-mode

Goldie the Vampire by @whump-only

Traitors Among Us by @dawnwriterimagines

Sidekick Whumpee x Hero Whumper by @whumpasaurus101

Fallen from Crestfallen Universe by @clickerflight

Blind Heroine by @hotchocolatewriting

Villain's Gift by @chaotic-orphan

Destroyer by @paingoes

Rehabilitation by @sowhumpshaped

Faerie Whump by @thoughtsonhurtandcomfort

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My favorite oneshot type stories/short stories that aren't part of a large series 👇

Civillian Discovers Her Husband is Supervillain by @the-modern-typewriter

Flustered Reporter vs Villain by @the-modern-typewriter

The Darkside by @sunnynwanda

Small things by @deluxewhump (injured nonhuman whumpee found and saved by a truck driver)

Ruin by @sunnynwanda (Supervillain vs rookie heroes)

Indulge me for a moment by @sunnynwanda (Hero and Civillian)

Version 2

Pet Whumpee by @mj-iza-writer

Coffee and Tips by @a-whisper-in-the-forest (Villain and Civillian)

Not realizing an injury by @chaotic-orphan (injured hero)

Dissociated Whumpee by @sowhumpshaped

Living Weapon Accidently Kills Caretaker's Friend by @jump-in-the-whump

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And finally, here's some lists from OTHER people who have listed their favorite whump stories & blogs

List by @defire

#2 List

List by @whumpwhittler

List of favorite blogs by @whump-blog

List by @whumpsday

Another Epic List

List by @paingoes

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Masterlists I like:

Random Hero x Villain masterlist I like by @creweemmaeec11

#2 Here

Another Hero & Villain masterlist by @maybeitsalivescribbles

Masterlist by @autocrats-in-love

Masterlist by @automeris-io-moth

Snippets and requests by @automeris-io-moth

Masterlist by @thepenultimateword

Hero and Villain oneshots list by @sunnynwanda

[misssparklingpaws]

Shadow in the Flame

Chapter 6: The Void Doesn’t Get Her

The sound of a body hitting the mat hard echoed through the training room.

“Again,” Aria ordered arms folded, completely unfazed by Robert’s groan from the floor.

He blinked up at the ceiling. “I’m seeing stars.”

“Great. Now aim for them,” Aria deadpanned. “Back on your feet, Reynolds. This isn’t ballet.”

Red Guardian chuckled. “I took ballet once. Strong thighs.”

Aria didn’t even blink. “Then use them to stop faceplanting like a tranquilized hippo.”

Walker winced. “Damn, she’s in full Stark mode today.”

“Stark mode?” Aria raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t seen Stark mode. That was me being nurturing.”

She turned her icy gaze to Yelena, who was lazily stretching against the wall. “Belova, if you’re done posing like a bored cat, maybe contribute something that doesn’t involve sass and eyeliner.”

Yelena smirked. “That’s 90% of my personality.”

“And 100% of the reason you’re getting flanked in every sim,” Aria shot back. “Move.”

Bucky leaned against the railing above, sipping his coffee like he was watching a reality show. “You know, she was like this as a teenager too. Used to critique Jarvis’s syntax.”

“Jarvis appreciated the feedback,” Aria muttered, resetting the training sim.

Robert slowly stood, wiping sweat from his brow. “I’m trying to go easy. I don’t want to accidentally vaporize anyone.”

“Sweet,” Aria said flatly. “But if I wanted sweet, I’d order a cupcake. You’re a nuke, Reynolds. Use it or at least stop getting your ass kicked by training bots with the IQ of a toaster.”

He gave her a dry look. “Toasters don’t punch.”

“Neither do you, apparently,” she quipped, turning back to the console. “Walker, your stance still says ‘college linebacker’ and not ‘covert ops.’ Try bending your knees before someone snaps them backwards.”

Walker groaned. “You know, most leaders offer constructive feedback.”

Aria raised a well manicurate finger. “You’re still alive. That is my constructive feedback.”

Yelena snorted.

“Look,” Aria said, pacing in front of them like a sarcastic general, “this next mission is supposed to be simple. Which means we’ll probably be on fire by minute three. If any of you panic or hesitate, I swear I will haunt you after I die. And not in a helpful, Obi-Wan kind of way. I mean full La llorona-level regret.”

Robert blinked. “You plan to die?”

“No,” she said dryly, “but statistically one of you will do something stupid enough to make me want to.”

She eyed each of them. “This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being sharp. Focused. Synchronized. You don’t have to like each other. You don’t even have to like me.”

A beat.

“Though I get it. I’m an acquired taste, a really expensive one""

Yelena muttered, “Like jet fuel and espresso.”

Aria smirked faintly. “Exactly.”

She stepped back and hit the panel again. Drones emerged, red lights blinking.

“Next round. Show me you’ve got more than banter and fragile egos.”

Robert inhaled and nodded.

Walker stretched his neck.

Yelena grinned. “Let’s dance, bots.”

Bucky sipped his coffee. “She’s terrifying.”

“Good,” Aria muttered.

---

The mission was supposed to be simple.

Controlled perimeter. Low-threat arms dealers. Bucky on point. Ghost in stealth. Aria coordinating strategy. Robert in support.

Everything went sideways in under three minutes.

Explosives. Hidden artillery. Panic.

“Evacuate, evacuate!” Aria yelled.

And then.

Aria cried out, short, sharp, wrong. She went down hard behind cover.

Across the field, Robert turned and time slowed.

He saw the blood blooming across her suit.

His body locked. Breath gone.

The Void stirred.

Something snapped.

The world blurred.

Noise fell away.

And the Void, that monstrous, ever-present storm behind his eyes howled for release.

Let her go, it whispered. She’s not yours to save.

“No” Robert muttered aloud.

She’s always been cold to you. Distant. She doesn’t care.

His eyes flickered black at the edges. His hands began to tremble.

“Robert!” her voice cut through the chaos. “Do not let that thing speak for you!”

He gasped, blinking.

“I know what’s in your head,” she growled, propped against the wall. “I’ve built tech like that voice. You’re not the monster. You’re the control.”

The Void snarled.

She’s lying. She pities you. She wouldn’t bleed like that for you.

He hovered on the edge.

His hands trembled.

Then her voice came again ragged, but fierce.

“Robert You can control it.”

He froze, panting. Black tendrils of the Void curled just beneath his skin.

“You’re not scared of breaking things anymore, remember?” she rasped, still conscious.

Robert stood firm. He looked at her bleeding, breath ragged, still fighting to stay awake and something inside him shifted.

He chose her voice.

Then something new took over.

Not fear. Not fury.

Focus.

He surged forward—precise, fast, calm. Like she trained him.

“Holy hell,” Bucky muttered. “He’s locked in.”

Robert knelt beside Aria, gently lifting her.

“You’re okay,” he said, voice shaking. “I got you.”

She grunted. “If you drop me, I swear I’ll rise from the dead to kill you.”

He laughed half delirious, half in awe and cradled her in his arms.

She clutched his collar, more from weakness than anything else. “Slow down, hero. I’m leaking.”

“I got you,” he whispered.

“You better,” she muttered. “I’m expensive.”

---

The Quinjet was already landing when he burst through the dust and chaos.

Bucky blinked. “Robert?”

He didn’t stop, just carried her up the ramp, fire in his eyes.

Yelena gaped. “Is this a battlefield rescue or a Nicholas Sparks adaptation?”

Red Guardian nudged her. “Sentry’s found his muse.”

Aria winced from where she lay in Robert’s arms. “Muse? I’m not bleeding for poetry, Alexei.”

Yelena whistled. “Even half-dead, she’s sarcastic. Tony’s daughter.”

Robert gently laid her down on the medical bench, refusing to let go of her hand.

The Void was quiet now. Watching. Waiting.

He ignored it.

“You’re going to be okay,” he said softly.

Aria gave him a look half stern, half soft. “Don’t make this a thing, Reynolds.”

“It’s already a thing,” he whispered.

She closed her eyes. “You’re sweet. That’ll get you killed.”

“Maybe,” he said. “But I’ll die carrying you out of the fire. Every time.”

He brushed a strand of hair off her face. “Hey, stay awake. We’re almost at the tower.”

Her lips twitched just a hint of something close to a smile.

Then, with perfect deadpan timing, she added, “You’re still terrible at hand-to-hand.”

Yelena burst into laughter from the cockpit. “She lives! And she’s fine. Classic Stark.”

Walker piped up, “We should probably schedule them a sparring session. With pillows.”

Robert caressed Aria’s head, quieter this time. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Good. Now maybe you’ll stop hesitating,” she said, opening her eyes, Robert watching her like she hung stars above her head.

Red Guardian beamed. “That was like watching a Hallmark movie... but with violence.”

Robert sat down beside Aria, one arm still around her, as the medical systems kicked in.

Yelena leaned back in her seat, muttering with a grin, “This is getting better than Netflix.”

---

The elevator doors slid open with a ding, revealing Aria half-leaning, half-stumbling forward determined to walk on her own, despite the dried blood on her suit and the way her shoulder was clearly not working right.

Robert was right beside her, hands hovering like he wanted to help but knew better than to touch unless she asked.

“Aria” he started gently.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re limping.”

“I’m limping with style.”

“You got shot.”

“It’s a Thursday. Stark family tradition.”

She took another step, stumbled, and hissed through her teeth. Robert instantly reached for her again.

She batted him away with her good arm. “I said I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding through the bandages.”

“I’ve bled through worse.”

Robert narrowed his eyes. “At least let me help you to your room.”

“No,” she said firmly. “Because the second I let you, Bucky’s gonna say I’ve gone soft and Yelena will tell everyone I’ve imprinted on you like a baby duck.”

“I already carry you around like a rom-com lead,” he muttered. “Might as well commit.”

That got a half-smirk from her. “Careful, Romeo. That kind of dedication gets people written into tragic poetry.”

He grinned, gently slipping his arm under hers despite the protest. “I’m okay with tragedy. As long as you’re still breathing at the end.”

“Charming,” she muttered, letting him support her just enough to take the weight off her right leg.

They shuffled toward her quarters in silence for a beat.

She limped toward the couch, trying to shrug off his assistance, but when her knees buckled slightly, Robert was already there hands steady, gentle, catching her before she hit the floor.

“Don’t say it,” she warned, pointing a gloved finger in his face as she settled with a wince onto the cushions.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought it.”

He knelt down in front of her, glancing at her boots. “You want help getting these off?”

Aria narrowed her eyes. “Is that your polite way of asking if you can undress me?”

Robert raised both brows, biting back a grin. “I mean… only if you ask very nicely.”

She smirked despite herself. “That’s how people end up catching feelings and lawsuits.”

He gently began unlacing one boot anyway, his touch careful around the dried blood and scuffed armor.

“You don’t have to do this,” she said, quieter now. “I’ve taken worse hits.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “and I bet you brushed those off with the same charming personality.”

She snorted. “Once I made a SHIELD medic cry just by thanking him. It’s a gift.”

He tugged off her first boot, setting it down beside him, then moved to the second. “You’re not as scary as you pretend to be.”

“Keep talking like that and I will throw something at you.”

“Sure,” he said. “As soon as you can lift your arm without swearing.”

She went silent for a second. He looked up, saw the fatigue creeping into her face. The pain. The weight she always carried like a second skin.

“You really okay?” he asked again, softer this time.

“I’ll be fine,” she replied. “After I shower, sleep, and threaten Yelena into silence.”

He took her second boot off, then looked around. “You want help getting the rest of the suit off? Just asking as your medically concerned teammate. Not, you know… a creep.”

She gave him a deadpan look. “Robert. If you start unzipping anything, I will file a strongly worded memo to HR.”

He chuckled “You’re not great at letting people take care of you.”

“Nope.”

“And yet… here we are.”

She watched him quietly for a beat, expression unreadable.

“You care too much,” she said finally. “That’s dangerous.”

“I’ve been dangerous longer than I’ve been kind.”

That caught her attention. Her mouth twitched like she wanted to say something clever, but it came out quieter than expected.

“I don’t always know what to do with people like you.”

Robert looked up, boots off, hands resting on his knees. “People like me?”

“People who don’t give up on broken things.”

He stood slowly, careful not to crowd her. “You’re not broken, Aria.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, Cielo. I was raised by Tony Stark. I come factory defective.”

He smiled, soft and sincere. “Still worth the repair.”

She looked at him for a long moment, then waved weakly toward the door. “Go before I start feeling feelings and call for backup.”

Robert moved toward the door but hesitated. “I’ll be right outside.”

“Of course you will.”

He paused at the door, hand on the frame.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he told her. “I'd carry you out of the fire again. Every time.”

She met his gaze, just for a second.

“Just don’t try to carry me into the shower. Or we’re both going out the window.”

The door slid shut between them.

And Robert—still smiling—took a seat right outside.

Just in case.

[mahou-furbies]

57 years of magical girls!

List of series they're from:

Pic 1

Row 1: Sally the Witch, Himitsu no Akko-chan, Cutie Honey, Mahou Shoujo Lalabel, Minky Momo, Creamy Mami

Row 2: Persia the Magic Fairy, Magical Emi, Pastel Yumi, Sailor Moon, Magic Knight Rayearth, Wedding Peach

Row 3: Nurse Angel Ririka SOS, Saint Tail, Cardcaptor Sakura, Mahou Tsukai Tai, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne

Pic 2

Row 1: Ojamajo Doremi, Corrector Yui, Time Stranger Kyouko, Tokyo Mew Mew, Cosmic Baton Girl Comet-san, W.i.t.c.h.

Row 2: Pretear, Princess Tutu, Mermaid Melody, Kamichama Karin, Sugar Sugar Rune, Winx Club

Row 3: Futari wa Precure, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Uta Kata, Fushigiboshi no Futagohime, Happy Seven, Shugo Chara!

Pic 3

Row 1: Futari wa Precure Splash Star, Powerpuff Girls Z, Nanatsuiro Drops, Yes! Precure 5, Balala the Fairies, Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angel

Row 2: Fresh Precure!, Invaders of the Rokujouma!?, Umimonogatari, Heartcatch Precure!, Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Row 3: Wish Upon the Pleiades, Suite Precure, Magical Lollipop, Symphogear, Smile Precure!, Magical Girl Ore

Pic 4

Row 1: Vividred Operation, Doki Doki! Precure, Day Break Illusion, Magical Girl Site, Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya, Katsute Mahou Shoujo to Aku wa Tekitai shiteita.

Row 2: 6 Hearts Princess, Kill la Kill, Samurai Flamenco, Happiness Charge Precure!, Magica Wars, Machikado Mazoku

Row 3: Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero, Lolirock, Go! Princess Precure, Miss Guillotine, Mahou Shoujo Nante Mouiidesukara, Sleepless Domain

Pic 5

Row 1: Punch Line, Apricot Cookie(s)!, Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka, Concrete Revolutio, Miraculous Ladybug, Magical Suite Prism Nana

Row 2: Myriad Colors Phantom World, Nurse Witch Komugi-chan R, Mahou Tsukai Precure!, Flowering Heart, Mahou Shoujo? Naria☆Girls, Magical Girl Raising Project

Row 3: Matoi the Sacred Slayer, Flip Flappers, Balala the Fairies: Over the Rainbow, Pop in Q, Acro Trip, Kira Kira Precure a la Mode

Pic 6

Row 1: Märchen Mädchen, Twin Angel Break, Re:Creators, Magia Record, Cloudy Wondrous, Strawberry Seafoam

Row 2: HUGtto! Precure, Balala the Fairies: Ocean Magic, Tsukurotte Piature, Gushing Over Magical Girls, Star Twinkle Precure, Stellar Witch LIPS

Row 3: Healin’ Good Precure, Catch Teenieping, Mewkledreamy, Dame Daffodil, Sasaki and Peeps, Tropical Rouge! Precure

Pic 7

Row 1: Blue Reflection Ray, Magical Mom, Magilumiere Co. Ltd., Tea Tea Cherry, Delicious Party Precure, Balala the Fairies: Magic Star Fate Castle

Row 2: Hirogaru Sky! Precure, Magical Destroyers, Magical Girl Tsubame: I Will (Not) Save the World!, Wonderful Precure!

[galspolicev]

Jude bellingham nsfw alphabet

★ JUDE BELLINGHAM NSFW ALPHABET

SENSUALIDAD . . . no traigas paraguas, como quiera, va’ a mojarte. La temperatura está pa’ calentarte

chapter: fem!reader x jude bellingham

warnings: smut.

note: i really speak spanish, so any mistake is translation

☆ — reqs opeeenn <3

A = Aftercare

Jude helps you clean up and then joins you in the shower. He’s pretty affectionate after sex.

B = Body Part

Your ass. He grabs it, controls it, marks it. Loves watching it bounce when he takes you from behind.

C = Cum

He loves cumming in your mouth. Loves the way you look at him while you swallow. But when he’s really loaded, he finishes on your stomach and enjoys spreading it around with his fingers.

D = Dirty Secret

He’s touched himself while listening to your voice notes. He saved one where you moaned his name. Keeps it as a personal treasure.

E = Experience

Not an expert, but he’s got great instincts. And with you, he’s addicted to learning everything that drives you insane.

F = Favorite Position

You on your stomach, face buried in the pillow, legs barely open. Half asleep, body still heavy from your last orgasm or from the middle of the night. That’s how he likes you. Soft, surrendered, too weak to think or move—just to feel. He loves getting behind you, lifting your hips slightly with his big hands, and sliding in slowly. He feels every inch of you taking him in—warm, wet, perfect. And in that moment, when you’re like that—whimpering against the sheets, moaning unconsciously—he’s convinced there’s no place more his than your body.

G = Goofy

He laughs when your leg twitches after you cum. But he can switch into serious mode in two seconds if you give him a certain look.

H = Hair

He doesn’t shave often, but if you ask, he will.

I = Intimacy

He can fuck you hard. Grip your waist, pound into you with fury, lose himself in the rhythm. But if you grab his face and say “look at me while you do it,” he melts. The hardness in his features softens, his mouth relaxes, his eyes shine. He’ll stroke your cheek with his knuckles and go slow—like he wants to memorize every reaction you give. He’s totally in love, whispering things while he’s deep inside.

J = Jack Off

Only when he’s away. He records himself for you, whispering “this is what’s waiting for you when I get back.”

K = Kink

He loves dominating you with his voice. Telling you what to do, how to move, what to say. And if you act disobedient… it’ll only get rougher.

L = Location

Restaurant bathroom, hotel hallway, backseat of a car. If you tease him, he’s not waiting.

M = Motivation

Your shorts, the way you spread your legs without realizing it, your voice when you say “come here.” Any excuse is enough to fuck you like never before.

N = Nicknames

“My girl,” “pretty,” “dirty girl.”

And when he’s really turned on, really deep, really lost in you, he starts mixing English and Spanish without noticing. You’ll hear him say things like “eres muy guapa.”

O = Oral

Loves going down on you. Does it like he’s tasting something expensive. He doesn’t stop until you’re shaking.

P = Pace

He controls it perfectly. Sometimes rough and fast, other times painfully slow—just to make you beg.

Q = Quickie

He lives for quickies before a match or right after seeing you in something short.

R = Risk

Risk turns him on. Doing it with the door open, with people nearby, or while you’re on the phone with someone… but most of the time he still prefers it private.

S = Stamina

He’s got more than enough. Can go for over an hour without stopping, and still say “one more.”

T = Toys

He loves using them on you while watching. But he always ends up replacing them with his fingers or his tongue.

He also loves being able to handcuff you to the bed or blindfold you—just so he can do whatever he wants.

U = Unfair

He’ll get you worked up just to ignore you. Touches you over your clothes, kisses your neck, licks you—and then stops, just to see how far you’ll go for him.

V = Volume

Low moans, heavy breathing. When you’re on top, he groans loud and whispers in your ear as he cums—like he needs you to hear your name on his lips.

W = Wild Card

He gets turned on when you record him. Won’t say it out loud at first, but every time you pull out your phone or point the camera at him, his pupils dilate. Loves looking straight into the lens while fucking you, with that half-smirk, like he knows you’ll watch the video later and get wet just remembering.

X = X-ray

Thick and veiny. Not massive, but perfect for you. Sometimes he teases you by just pressing it against your entrance until you beg.

Y = Yearning

When he doesn’t see you for a few days, he gets anxious. Sends you dirty texts, calls you, says “you owe me.”

Z = Zzz

He puts you to sleep on his chest, stroking your back slowly.

all copyrights reserved. © galspolicev

[bilightningwhumper]

Bilightningwhumper's Whump Reading List [A-M]

List [N-Z] Here

Because Tumblr doesn't really have a bookmark/saving system, I'm just going to make this, lol. Basically just a list of stories that have caught my eye and I want to keep track of/re-read/read for the first time/etc. Asking to be on taglists has helped a lot, but some of these are finished stories, so that doesn't really help in those cases.

Just going to put in alphabetical order. I'll figure out some key for what I've caught up with/read/recommend later.

General warning: minors, anyone who doesn't like 18+ work, if you peruse this list, do so with caution. I'm currently just copy-pasting links without my usual asterisk warning system.

[This list is fluid and constantly changing because I am both forgetful and always looking for new things to read]

237599: Home Again (@wildfaewhump)

Abandoned Whumpee (@jordanstrophe)

ALL BROTHER'S KEEPER ENTRIES (@darkthingshappen)

Annihilation (@just-horrible-things)

Arinn & Alex Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)

Ashes: A whumpy Cinderella retelling (@whump-me)

AU: Chewtoy (@just-horrible-things)

AU: Healer and Handler (@just-horrible-things)

The Barn Masterlist (@actress4him)

Basement whumper (@jordanstrophe)

BBU: A Girl Called Spider (@just-horrible-things)

BBU Hollywood: Henry's Story (@peachy-panic)

BBU: Just Acting (@just-horrible-things)

BBU: Mina and Marten (@just-horrible-things)

BBU - The Recovery System (@winedark-whump)

Be a Good Guest (@jordanstrophe)

Behave (@jordanstrophe)

Belleview Masterlist (@hold-him-down)

Bookish (@whumblr)

Box Boy Masterlist (@haro-whumps)

Caretaking (@melpomenelamusa)

Chimeras (@melpomenelamusa)

Coming Back to Bite You (@whumpsoda)

Consequence of Action (@squishablesunbeam)

Crossed out (@whumblr)

Crash Out (@paingoes)

Custody Series (@whumblr)

Daero Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)

Dante and Matteo Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)

Defiance Pt. 1 (@squishablesunbeam)

Derek’s Back Masterlist (@hold-him-down)

Destroyer (@paingoes)

Do No Harm: Jaime & Sebastian (@peachy-panic)

Elias and Colin (@wildfaewhump)

Emmeline Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)

Empires Rise, Kingdoms Fall (@actress4him)

ENEMIES OF THE FIERCE FORESTS (@whumperofworlds)

Eternal Masterlist (@3-2-whump)

THE FIERCE FORESTS (@whumperofworlds)

Fifty-Eight Days: Elijah & Grayson (@peachy-panic)

The Fighter Masterlist (@hold-him-down)

Fighting Ring (@justplainwhump)

Flower whumper (@jordanstrophe)

Fog and Furrow (@wildfaewhump)

Forsaken (@inhurtandincomfort)

Frathouse Boxboy Masterlist (Z2) (@deluxewhump)

THE GOLD CONTINET EXPLORERS (@whumperofworlds)

Group Whumpees Masterlist (@haro-whumps)

Hallow Island (@jordanstrophe)

Book 1 - Heroes (24 chapters) (@whumpsmith)

Heroes and Villains Series (@serickswrites)

Hollow-Point Intent (@wildfaewhump)

Home is where the hurt is (@whumblr)

Iesin & Talvos (@wildfaewhump)

In Irons Masterlist (@actress4him)

In enemy hands (@maracujatangerine)

Info Post | Masterlist (@whump-a-la-mode)

Intro post (@cecilstedmansbabydaddy)

Just A Fling AU (with @wildfaewhump) (@justplainwhump)

The Kid (@winedark-whump)

King of the Road (@darkthingshappen)

Lady Whump Writing Masterlist (@justplainwhump)

Lainey and Isa Masterlist (@actress4him)

Liam (@just-horrible-things)

Light & Darkness (@melpomenelamusa)

Linden and Colton (@whumpzone)

Linden and Colton #2 (@whumpzone)

Little Dog (@winedark-whump)

Loiral and Marcus (@just-horrible-things)

Lourdes: One of a Kind (@wildfaewhump)

Lost Property - a collaboration with @whumpzone (@maracujatangerine)

Lydia and Coriander: A new home (@maracujatangerine)

Lydia and Coriander: ongoing (@maracujatangerine)

Making Angel (@justplainwhump)

Mark and Gemma Get a Pet (@justplainwhump)

Miscellaneous short stories (@winedark-whump)

Miscellaneous Writing (@maracujatangerine)

[froggitonamelon]

I don't think I've ever seen a superhero Frisk design before and that is criminal so have a concept design!

Premise:

Undertale Red and Yellow baby! Frisk, Chara, and Clover all inhabit Frisk's body. They can each take control of it and have their own respective powers when they do.

Powers:

Clover Polaris can do the Undertale Yellow Clover things. They can fire plasma blasts and teleport. While they don't need the gun, I like the idea that it's easier to control with the conduit and they like the aesthetic. When they hit someone, they can inflict phantom pain based off of the injuries they know they inflicted on others (similar to Sans' karma).

Chara Dreemurr can do Player things. They can save and reset time with some limitation- only being able to go back to their last save and the moment they woke up that day, the latter only being possible if they die. They can also check other people's health, abilities, and intensions.

Frisk Asope can change the color of their soul! Each color has 1 specific ability that correlates with their respective soul mode/ attack. They can only be one color at a time.

Green: This color summons a roughly 1 meter/ 3 foot round shield. This is accidentally so very Captain America but I'm not mad about the similarity.

Purple: This soul color creates magic strings (a la Spiderman or Error Sans) that can be used to trap and trip opponents and can even be used as a whip if twisted together.

Red: Frisk has some precognition with this soul color. It's like a spidey sense, warning them of danger.

Yellow: Clover is already representing a yellow soul color, so I wanted to give some love to the yellow attacks Undyne uses in her fight. Turning their soul yellow will give them the ability to redirect attacks.

Indigo: This color allows Frisk to alter their own gravity, flipping them up, down, and sideways. It's not flight but can appear similar if used just right.

Cyan: While remaining still, Frisk can be rendered intangible. This does not equal invisible or inaudible however so relying on this for stealth is not advised.

Orange: If in motion, Frisk can charge up enough energy to create explosions, destroying attacks and obstacles. This is inspired by Outertale's orange soul mode and feels very Flash.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie is the hot vampire to Charlie’s goofy puppy werewolf and I stand by this always

you live in a world where vampire Vaggie has to drag her gf down by bowtie to reach her neck for snack time and THAT is a Nice Place to be (probably especially for Charlie)

gods do some meta... have vamp Vaggie think werewolves are like in the modern horror movies all rah rah moonlight bite transform pain eat ppl, and then she meets Charlie, and it's more like meeting an ACTUAL wolf who just HAPPENS to be kinda demonic and fully capable of eating ppl, this cuddly social fluffball who's tail won't stop wagging and vamp Vaggie (maybe ex demon hunter turned vamp after she let a dying kid demon feed on her?????) is just like

"I've known Charlie the self-proclaimed moon-moon Moringstar for only a few days, but if anything happens to her im burning down the world and everyone in it including myself" - "Ahahah! Ok Vaggie but you wouldn't actually do that right?" - "...." - "Vaggie???" - "I won't have to so don't worry about it babe"

meanwhile im over here with werewolf Vaggie, holy hound of heaven sent down every year to fight in hell (al la the testimony of "the Livonian werewolf", Thiess of Kaltenbrun),

im imaginging her getting her wolf pelt RIPPED off her back by werewolf Lute and she hasn't been able to shift since then- Vaggie showing up at the hotel gates as a grey wolf with a missing eye who kinda vampire demon Charlie has NEVER seen before but knows, just from that way it stops and hesitates and holds itself so still watching her so intently just her girlfriend does, that this is Vaggie-

Charlie grinning as she holds out her arms for the wolf to leap into, and you kno what, let's go full heavenly hound route and say Vaggie's a fucking winged werewolf, let's go the same route as that one space movie, her half-shifted form is a woman with wings and sharp canines and

Charlie as the child of Lilith the first vampire and Lucifer a MUCH higher level hound of heaven, she was born partly in wolf mode but still a demon of hell needing to drink mortal blood to stay in mortal realm (au where the hotel's a liminal space both in hell and on earth) and she never took blood from Vaggie before (she fed some of HER blood TO Vaggie to save her from dying when they first met and that means if they finish the blood swap there'll be a permanent two-way CONNECTION until one of them dies so they should prrrrrrobably wait until after the wedd- oh never mind) but now, after the werewolf reveal, she finally DOES nibble the gf, and no on in the hotel gets any rest afterwards bc there's a big deathly white wolf doing zoomies down the hotel halls for the rest of the night XD

[fassina]

“Magister Pavus.”

“Inquisitor Cadash.”

You look old, she wants to tell him, but she’s sure she looks older. She settles on something else instead.

“Your hair is ridiculous.”

“It’s all the fashion, my dear. Not that you’d know what it’s like to be a la mode.”

“If it’s Orlesian, I don’t want it.”

“Oh, but I’ve missed you.”

He sits with her and takes her hand for just a moment, and she could almost cry at the feeling of the callouses from his staff, still there even though he is softer now. 

“Is Bull joining us?”

“It’s not a good time,” Dorian says quietly. She knows that tremble at the edge of his voice. He is afraid. “Besides. I wanted you all to myself.”

“Well. You’ve got me. Now what?”

Things in Kirkwall were… less than optimal. The guild wanted her to make her play against the acting Viscount, eager as always to spin gold from shit. All she wanted was to bring his body home, back to the city that he loved, that he never wanted to leave. She had promised Bianca she would try.

“I think you should meet her,” Dorian says, and she can feel her jaw tense.

“I don’t have anything to say to her.”

“You know what I’m going to say-”

“Don’t-”

“Varric would want you to.”

She breathes through her nose as the servers bring more wine and pour it. A hearty red, the sort you could only get in this part of the world for the price. Dorian smiles at the boy, a handsome sort, and pushes an extra gold into his hand.

“So this is a trap,” she murmurs as she raises her glass to her lips, and he laughs.

“Maker forbid. It’s an… invitation, is all.”

“She’s already coming, isn’t she?”

“Well. She’s Tevene. Likelihood was she was already here. You know how it is.”

She’s heard of this child, this Rook. Barely out in society before Varric swooped in to recruit her, with a letter of recommendation from Maevaris Tilani herself. But it was all nepotism, of course it was. That was how the Kalna dwarves worked. Thorold had been instrumental in placing the girl with a surface family when Bartrand was lost to the madness, and the resemblance to her uncle was clear as a blue sky.

“I know exactly how it is.”

“Come now. The girl is all of eighteen. She’s lost. Well. We’ve all suffered a great loss. She could use…”

“What? An inspiration? A mentor? A hug?”

“Even you were a child once.”

Not aged eighteen, she wants to say, but she says nothing. She knows it is not this poor girl’s fault that she was saved from being sold to the carta, or worse. It was all luck, all one good or bad decision.

Or somebody advocating for you.

“Fine,” she says, draining the last of her glass. “I’ll speak to her. I’ll listen. I’ll be the sage elder dwarf, the blasted ancestor. But if you think-”

“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I have a room upstairs, and I thought we could relax.”

She laughs. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Kaffas. I mean that we can have a little more to drink. Perhaps smoke. There’s no great rush.”

“Just the end of the world.”

She looks at him again. He’s always had that edge of earnestness behind the bluster, and after all these years she can still read him like a youth.

“So the plan is to get me lightly toasted so I won’t be so…” she struggles to find the world, but she raises her hand before he can protest. “Who put you up to it? Did Thom write to you?”

“Josephine,” he confesses sheepishly, and she can’t help but laugh. He joins in, and for a moment she is ten years younger, and it all seems so different and yet in so many ways the same.

“Well, I trust she knows how to avoid incident. Far be it for me to disobey the boss.”

“It is, as they say, the good stuff. I’ve been assured.”

“I didn’t take you for a smoker, Dorian.”

“I can’t say it’s a regular pastime. You’ll have to look after me.”

“If you get paranoid, I’m calling in reinforcements.”

“Just make sure they’re handsome.”

“Deal.”