#save these if u want idc anymore

[hinamie]

trick or treat!

[lusalemaart]

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[bixiaoshi]

activities to distract myself from the feeling of despair bcs i'm still unemployed and feel like my life has been stuck since i graduated university

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Harrow The Ninth current progress reading thoughts (pt.2)

Part one | Here

Please no spoilers for beyond chapter 11 of book two, and none for book three please.

Spoilers for HTN and GTN below:

Chapters 7-9 (+prev chapters rambling):

HAHAHA GOD'S NAME IS JOHN AND THE SPOILER I GOT SAID THAT WAS GIDEON'S DAD'S NAME I WAS RIGHT!!!

Also Harrow being disappointment by and internally 'making fun' (as much as Harrow can in the state she's in, the poor thing) of God's name being John is so fucking funny to me. Like, I had the same reaction to the name John and his ownership of it, Harrow. I feel vindicated ty, girly. XD

I fucking love how Moira Quirk voices Harrow btw. I keep doing 'Harrow Voice' around the house now and it is far too fun. Also I miss Gideon give me my bby girl back and don't make her suffer too much!!! (She's gonna suffer so much, isn't she?) She [Moira] slips back into 'Gideon voice' here and there despite it being Harrow's perspective and I don't know if that's intentionallll ohhh my god WAIT I'm so dumb. Is the main section of the book in second person and leading with "you" because it's not just Harrow??? Bc she's a Lyctor and technically not just one person anymore???? Fuck that would make so much sense. Bc when Harrow is having dream/delusion time, it's back in the third-person format of the first book, which would work so perfectly with this train of thought since, in those delusions, Harrow is just Harrow. In a world without Gideon. God, if that's why, that is such a clever use of formatting and makes me appreciate the use of second person. (Which I usually do not like at all. In fact, usually, actively hate XD)

I just got to the part where we find out The Saint of Duty is also named Ortus?! And Harrow promptly passes tf out??? I fucking love this series haha (Which means I've just finished chapter nine as I type this note woop woop!)

I really am just feral for Harrow to open more of her notes and - OH MY GOD RIGHT SHE KISSED IANTHE?! XD I know it was to check that she hadn't cut out her tongue or removed teeth to sever the pact and that she had to be 'discrete' about it (oml) but holy fuck I'm cackling at the memory. I cannot believe Harrow kissed fucking Ianthe triden-fucking-tarius before she kissed Gideon or that stupid creepy ice woman!!! I'm cackling at the absurdity.

Though - I mean, Gideon dying by killing herself to save Harrow (and Camilla), and like literally doing so, to send her soul to live inside of Harrow??? They skipped the U-haul and went to fantasy soul-fused martyrdom XD (I'm using Martyr here even though it's wrong bc I'm typing this at 3 a.m. and I can't think of a better word for this rn - and this series is dripping with religious stuff soooo idc rn (I so do. It is actively bothering me)) (it's now 8 p.m. the following day as I'm editing this and my internal thesaurus is still failing me woops XD)

Why is Ianthe fucking here bro - I don't hate her but I certainly don't like her, and I'm neutral in my experience of not liking her so... IDK Ugh. They're probably going to make me attached at some point and then kill her.

I do like that Ianthe seems to be genuinely worried about Coronabeth's whereabouts. It's nice to see her care for something (someone) other than herself. I know her Cavalier was insufferable, but she killed him with so much coldness! Honestly, I suppose the more I think of her, the more interested that I am. I don't think I fully grasped the reveal that Coronabeth wasn't a necromancer at the end of the last book? Why on earth - metaphorical earth i suppose - why on any planet would your family want you to pretend your twin is also magical? Was it for appearances? Was it to keep her sister safe from their family? She managed to delude everyone into believing it the entirety of book one??? Just how powerful was she before Lyctorhood. How powerful is she now.

She seems to at least have less cognitive resolve than Harrow - if not less power overall - considering Harrow could use theorems in The River... but perhaps that was more Gideon's influence on Harrow's power than her own? They don't seem to be very integrated at the moment - especially with Harrow's falsified memories? But she is a Lyctor so idk. Mercy seemed flabbergasted by it.

I also did want to mention that I liked the detail that Delusional!Harrow was glad her eyes 'hadn't changed much' bc Ortus and her had similar, black ninth-eyes. Why does The Body have Gideon's eyes. Why does the body give her advice. Is Harrow crazy (you know, clinically not just... Harrow XD) or is she truly being haunted?

I'm actually really enjoying having somewhere to sort through some of my jumbled thoughts as I read! Especially with a book series like this that has so many moving parts - many of which I'm sure I've only gotten the barest scrap about - I've probably missed quite a few tbh.

It's fun getting to meet some more of the surviving Lyctors, and it was really interesting to hear about Cytherea a bit from their perspective, and get a bit more of the very ancient timeline sorted.

Bro I've been listening to the audiobooks and I feel like I'm in an Olympic obstacle course looking up all these names while trying to avoid spoilers. I fully expected Cytherea to be spelled Kithrea and Gideon's last name to be Navv and not Nav. etc. etc. Also though Ortus' name was Aughtus - I did not hear that 'r' XD My brain also keeps deciding that Magnus and Abigail are Maximus and Annabeth???? I don't have any clue why. This is what happens when you give a visual learner an audiobook I suppose.

Also did Ianthe kill Silas at the end of the last book when she became a Lyctor? And his Cavalier? I fully lost track of whatever happened to those two. I'm going to have to go back at some point and re-listen to that whole Ianthe section.

Chapter 10:

It was really nice getting to see Magnus and Abigail, even slightly-odd Harrow-skewed dream versions of them.

Magnus's eye's being 'a color that was suddenly hard to define' and asking Harrow "is this really how it happened?" is fucking haunting bro.

Also poor Ortucs, let that poor make-believe baby be a scribe XD It was also interesting how much his agreeableness aggravates Harrow. It's such a nice, jolting ache for her and for us. How hollow and absent her life is without Gideon. How much it lacks color both literal and metaphorical.

Oh. Ohhhh my god, I need to be paying more attention to the 'crazy' notes in the dreams, don't I? Implantation?! Of Gideon mayhaps?

She has a very physical reaction to seeing these notes as well, her eyes 'almost strobing' at the sight of it. Like it's something that does not fit into her carefully-crafted false reality. Something like Gideon. How Gideon or Gideon's soul or essence or whatever would have any idea of things pre-conception, I don't know. But this is all made up, so who's to say, right? I suppose it could have to do with Harrow as well, given dream!Abigail's comments about the soul-price hovering around Harrow. Even if the notes are not quite so literal, I'm sure that they don't mean nothing. Especially because Ortus, the literal manifestation of Harrow's rewriting of events - can't read it, refutes it. Surely they must mean something. Who knows, maybe it's about the girl in the ice.

The fact that Harrow, or at least, falsified-reality-dream-Harrow, has never eaten a potato is absolutely tragic (I type, while eating Gnocchi, feeling quite mocking towards our potato-less girl, despite no intention to.) Though, I wouldn't put it past our Queen of Misery to decide in this falsified reality, to deny herself the existence of potatoes in the Ninth. Just to make herself that much more miserable XD

Also LOL to even dream Ortucs being like "Bro I'm so glad this wasn't what I ended up to be" like, poor dead mama's boy. I actually feel kind of bad for him. Born in the wrong house to the wrong family at the wrong point in time, huh? Sorry your ship blew up, pookie. But like, also maybe try zoloft or vitamin D, babes, you're really bringing down the vibe - and like, the vibe is quite literally dead with all this necromancy so... that is really saying something sweetie. XD

I've wondered a couple times if the woman in the ice has anything to do with Gideon specifically, like being her mother - bc there's technically no proof thus far (to my memory) that the dead woman who carried Gideon in the life-support container was actually her mom. Wasn't Gideon only an hour old when found? All of this is so funky. I'm thinking so many things you guys sshashohaowihaoij Could the woman who brought Gideon to the Ninth have been taking her 'back to her mother' if there were time-shinnanigan things? Like if she was born or stillborn ages ago - or removed from the woman in the ice w/o really being born and god put her into the resurrection sleep or or or. I really just don't know. Fuck, I'm so curious. Idk I feel like I'm grapsing at straws here, but I was right about God being her dad and that felt just as insane at the time XD Also, fr though, WTF is god? Like, tell me.

Chapter 11:

HA - hahaha XD Ohh my god. Gideon saw Cythrea's dead body from Harrow's eyes and went "fuck you, bitch, die again.", huh? XD Not Harrow using the sword in her blackout even though they're not fully integrated. You cannot convince me that wasn't our precious Gideon being so very herself lmao

I wonder if it's Gideon like... directly, or if it's more of an echo of her final purpose in regards to her sacrifice? I imagine Harrow blacking out around that whole section is bc she's not integrated with Gideon (and can't even let herself remember the reality of her LMAO)

ONTO ACT TWO!!! WOOP WOOP!

[mimiteru]

I ACCDITENTLY PUT MY NITARA HC OUT OF THE DRAFTS WHAT I DIDNT EVEN FINISHED WRITING 😭😭

dude this is what happens when you have shity internet Dx i know there was a option to edit but before i realize that i deleted the post 🔫 idc anymore i'm gonna write it again

how tf does this app work i'm sorry mutual who reposted my draftJDKS

ANYWAYS MY NITARA DELULU HC LETS GO

tw: death of a character, mentions of vomit

• Remember Kahil? You know the vampire who once was user of the datusha/kriss and bc of it's power he kill most of the Vaeternus, moments later he commits suicide trapping the sword with him?

Well lets put more emotional damage and say this was a relative to Nitara, maybe a brother why not

(i rewatched the Nitara intros and her mother also died damn, that's rough buddy)

they had a really strong bond, so Nitara was broken and devastated by his brother's tragic end, and after a long time of grief, this "revelation" as she would say, came to mind. From this time she tries so hard to save her so no Vaeternus could face the fate of death

And you know, "trying" is a strong word, the coven at this point are kinda tired of her all the time visiting them and bringing her failed ideas

The coven are like: "yeah yeah you know why don't you go and try to take over outworld or something" as a joke just to get rid of her.

And she did go to Outworld so..

• Now, her voice... It's not the best, it's so monotone and she doesnt realize it

But now i can't stop thinking about her with a valley girl accent, the way she would say the word "like" repetitively in one sentence is insane

There were times when Havik just rip of his own ears to not hear her, she talks a lot

She likes to do monologues, i feel like it's normal for Vaeternus to have this... Theatrical way of speaking, that goes on and on

Nitara does not know how to lie, if you dig enough she would accidentally say the truth or let out her plans without knowing

• At first the interactions Nitara has with Rain were harsh but later he starts to understand the big problem that the Vaeternus were living in, so maybe these two will be allies in the future??? Please??

Tho at this point she is trying to persue ppl to help her cause, whether it's from the good guys or the bad guys, and not even god itself wants to make a solution to help the Vaeternus yeah she's fucked

With the fictional dead family i create around her it makes a little bit of sense when she's trying to make Smoke a vampire too, Nitara sees herself since the guy also lost his mom and sister

or instead he sees her brother in Smoke, which is kinda creepy and dark but thats how my girl copes <33 /j

• The Vaeternus have a way to go to Earthrealm from centuries ago, this could mean that the vampires have more noledge of human traditions, slangs and even technology than Outworld does

This can also includes Earthrealm pop culture, influencing the way they dress or act, there could be Vaeternus who moved to Earthrealm permanently, hiding in the shadows

Imagine miss girl tries to make chitchat with Havik, Darrius and Sareena making a Earthrealm references and everyone just look at her like "wtf r u talkin about?"

This is chronically online comunicating with normal people

Nitara finds Earthrealm movies about vampires fascinating by the way of how they portrayed her kind, bc sometimes those movies are so wrong and sometimes they are so accurate its scary

She finds the "familiar" character to be very useful, she will have it in mind and maybe find one of those to help her look for food and other plans

• There was a time when the vaeternus didnt need blood to maintain their survival (idk if it was on Liu Kang or Geras intros) and there was were other things they could have feed on, but little by little vampirism began to be part of their nature that it was impossible to change their ways, condemning their own species.

Trying to get back to a normal diet probably would take another millenia

And if they eat or drink something no blood related i imagine them vomiting A LOT and with a horrible stomach pain, not the best moment for a vampire

• Her eyes glow in the dark

Once Nitara tried to sleep upside down bc she saw it in one of those movies, and she find it so comfortable??? It's kinda embarrasing for her but she keeps sleeping on that position from now on

She's a failure, she's a loser, and i think that's beautiful

Yeah i don't have more to say, also

WWDITS MENTIONED‼️‼️

Yeah that's it bye

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 4 (starting here because there wasn't a whole lot of background info in 1-3 because they were still just getting used to playing their characters!! this is the end of harttawa arc):

- if dakota had succeeded the roll to stop vyncent from stabbing wavelength, he wouldve taken the damage from grabbing the blade and stopped it and they wouldnt have had to make the choice between who to save!

- charlie was NOT planning on revealing the wisp form that early but he was too emotionally invested in beano and wanted to protect him (which made choosing him to die later was REALLY hard)

- "william has a very complicated realtionship with death" << im just gonna leave you that quote. putting it on ur doorstep like a cat with a dead bird

- bizly had two separate plans for how the session would go based entirely on whether or not they befriended beano (which!!! they have another little oneshot series on the patreon called what if where they will go back and play non canon sessions of different like. alternate routes. and they did one where this happened :])

- charlie coming up with the idea for william and discussing him with bizly was supposedly the first time in his life he had ever pulled an all nighter (which? is insane). because they just kept throwing ideas back and forth and talking about scooby doo and danny phantom (!!!) and they ended up actually playing out a little bit of his backstory in character

- there was a little retconned bit about william where a few strands of his hair turn white every time he uses his wisp form. which. hello trimax vash. what if i went insane. this is supposedly "not canon anymore" but its something i hold in my heart so dearly

- wavelength was supposed to be so much tougher and scarier but bizly rolled so bad for him: "he was supposed to be COOL he was supposed to be SCARY. HE SUCKED HE DIDNT HIT YOU ONCE."

- tide showing up at the end was supposed to serve as a reference to show just how much more powerful Actual Superheros are than these kids. bizly specifically had tide use his powers a lot more obviously and frequently during that scene than would be normal for him *specifically* so that theyd be like "oh fuck" and it worked :]

- they levelled up bc its the end of an arc!! theyre now power level 6 (i think. i dont actually remember. they might only be at 5 at this point) !!!

IM GONNA ANSWER EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE <3 awww charlie got attached to beano enough to reveal william's wisp form early. dude. honestly i would have done the same <3 beano i miss u

william has a very complicated relationship with death. 🧍 what could this mean. i mean i KNOW he's got a complicated relationship with death but I DON'T KNOW THE FULL EXTENT OF IT I THINK.

i understand why wiwi is ur favourite guy. that is danny phantom in a different font. AND he's got a white streak in his hair (idc if they retconned it to be noncanon it's canon 2 ME!!!!!) like this is literally mac ghostiezone core. william wisp is ur kind of fucking character. fork found in kitchen

MARK CANONICALLY AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING LOSER BECAUSE BIZLY ROLELD SO BAD FOR HIM <3 CRINGEFAIL DAD <3 HE ABSOLUTELY SUCKS <3 and tide showing up at the end like an angry father i love him so much. the single mother of all time <3

[thepandalion]

anyways so last week we finished season 4 of house md

I can admit to crying in those final episodes

Also this kinda ruined my werewolf au. Because now my babies are fighting and I can't quite reconcile that with what I have of my au.

So. Multiple ideas:

Amber is a vampire. She survives, but when Wilson decides that her miraculous recovery means he should tell her that he's a werewolf, she reveals that actually vampires and werewolves don't go well together for dating (which uhh. Is a bit of a problem bc I'm pretty sure there's a bit where they think cuddy wants to date wilson and wwwau cuddy is also a vampire). So she breaks up with him and is still alive and they're just broken up

Amber still dies. Wilson forgives house faster than canon bc while he was about to let Amber in on werewolf stuff he didn't yet, so she's not pack while house IS pack, so I'm just ignoring all those parts of s5 for the sake of my boys and nothing else

Amber dies but now she's been pack?? House is also upset because they've now both been Wilson's people and while he might not have liked Amber he respected the fact thay wilson did and sorta respected Amber as a person too. They're not mad at each other but still get time apart. Wilson has a character arc where he goes to meet some wolves in the forest and tells them about how one of his humans got another one killed and effectively does werewolf therapy with this older werewolf (who will later come in and find human wilson because in this version good things can't happen and older werewolf has cancer and is dying). House would come up to wilson in that period when Wilson left in canon and go "I get it if u don't wanna be pack anymore and go be with other wolves in the forest like uve been doing for months now - yeah I know abt that btw" and wilson would just. Break. Bc wtf do you mean "don't wanna be pack" of course he still wants to be pack. He just needs time alone for a sec.

A universe where season 4 happened but Amber and Wilson aren't dating. Still got the new fellows but wilson is still woefully single and Amber goes to work at like. Mercy or something. Idc. Just means she doesn't die. But house might :3 because the bus very much did still crash in this version

Just. Ignore season 4 entirely. Didn't happen cannot touch me. Foreman did quit and idk maybe cameron too. Chase didn't really get fired so much so as he got promoted. He's got a small office near wilsons and he runs the magical medicine department where they treat magic people, which includes werewolves and vampires but also like. Just people practicing magic. Because chase is one of those in this au. He eats rocks and I do have a case in mind where a seer running a magical ingredients shop gets saved by him and she gives him some really cool stuff to do magic with and after that it becomes custom for patients to hand in small magical artifacts to their doctors if they're treated by the magic ppl. One of those patients accidentally fuels chases addiction to eating shiny rocks. There's a silly intervention. Anyways there's gonna be new fellows to replace those three and they might be the same fellows but also maybe not. Because I'm not sure if foreman can keep his job at mercy this time around. So I can have taub replace him in the sceptic position (but this time with the mild spicy interest of "well ok, say that vampires exist. Why do we believe our patient is one just because they say so? Everyone lies after all" and stuff). Thirteen is gonna be. Some type of creature probably. So's kutner but his vibes are just murky enough that I'm stuck in the like ??? Phase of "is he magic or just neurodiverse"

Help. Legit cannot decide between these

[millionsknives]

1, 2, 23 😊

1. Song of the year? JOHNNY CASH THE MAN COMES AROUND omfggg this year has been my year of johnny. my year of learning that i mfing love old cowboy music. i found out that my grandma lowkey knew johnny before he was super famous and she has a wedding photograph autographed by him & his band and she owns one of his old harmonicas. (that's very cool for u grandma but u are listening to johnny cash as a republican i am listening to johnny as a consistent life ethicist and anti-war advocate. we are not the same. can i have that harmonica when you die) and my dad bought american IV for me on vinyl as a souvenir from a trip to nashville. there is no occasion that can't be made better by putting on some johnny tunes i'll be listening to him at work and on road trips and while drawing and while crafting and when im making tacos with my dad. i've just been obzessed

2. Album of the year? john mark mcmillan's mercury and lightning. john mark mcmillan save me. john mark. save me john mark mcmillan. i have grown so horribly jaded from the actions of people who claim to represent the same god and jesus i love and i'm exhausted by the state of things but i listen to john mark sing about all the things that are heavy on his heart and they're the same things heavy on mine. like i've been chasing god i've been chasing mercury & lightning i need a new religion or i need a new lie. another pound of flesh offered up to the gods of american success. oh christ did you give your body up just to suffer for my savage love. so if hell cannot conquer hell the devil cannot conquer himself and you're telling me you still want to live by the sword? when the bomb went off we were dancing in the kitchen with a neon cross and i got no place to call my country anymore. everybody calls for a covenant but nobody's drawing blood. you lift me up like lazarus, you love me like death, you love me like death, you love me like death ǝsɹǝʌǝɹ uᴉ

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? this year demons are gonna torture you but u will make it through by the end of it you will only care about the good parts. also idc if you don't think you have the time, drop everything and go visit your friends more often. there are people out there who love you but you are just too afraid to embrace it

[empyreasheart]

QUESTION ATTACK!!!! as a fellow kairi stan what are some of your personal hcs for her or what you wanna see for her in future games or just like. general kairi thoughts because you are so based for the rightful kairi appreciation

HEHE HIIII I want 1) playable kairi and 2) i want the destiny trio's dynamic to be flipped and for kairi to save sora and riku for once. emphasis on riku because i feel like a lot of fans & even the games forget that riku and kairi genuinely care for one another.

my ideal kh4 would have kairi basically go "idc if you dont think im strong enough yet im tired of just standing here while u guys need my help" and basically decide to go to quadratum despite rikus wishes and she saves riku from getting plummeted by heartless (or whatever enemies are in kh4) or smth and shes like haiii ^__^ and riku apologizes for considering her too weak in melody of memory (im sorry that scene made me mad because i dont think riku would say that hes literally the one who gave her her keyblade in kh2!! but i digress) and they go off to find sora together. but i dont think itll happen this way sadly :(

i loveee kairi so much shes my sweetie. shes so kind and i want to be like her honestly, i dont really kin as much anymore but if there was any character from kh i would want people to associate with me personality wise itd be kairi!!! i feel like i judge most kh fans based on how they feel about kairi because im like if ur not a kairi supporter im not rocking with u... idk... shes definitely in my top 3 kh characters i think, soras #1!!! (i love axel/lea but sora is literally my baby thats my son sora kingdomhearts)

headcanons?! i think she and lea become besties and siblingpilled because once she meets him and gets over the Scary she realizes. hes just a loser lol. And honestly i think she already knew that during kh2 he was kind of a pathetic kidnapper. I think she xion and naminé do fun girly stuff and force lea to tag along and he has to carry all of their bags when theyre shopping and pay for their fun little treats

That also reminds me since lea and kairi are both from radiant garden i keep thinking about making up some sort of au where they end up being adopted siblings which im not sure how itd work out i just want to imagine baby kairi and teenage lea growing up together :,)

[odxrilove]

OHH which albums?? (and fr studying is so ass i hate it here someone save me)

LSRFM FEARLESS BLUE CHYPRE VER AND SVT GOING SEVENTEEN MAKE IT HAPPEN VER YAYAYA lemme show u my pulls

im really happy with all my pulls tbh idc which lsrfm member i pulled (except garam ofc cuz shes not in the group anymore) so that's alr and for svt i love sm of their gose pcs but i really wanted to buy the verkwan unit pc cuz their hair is so ugly and it's just such a funny pc to me 😭😭😭 tbh i wish i pulled a pc with the little silly hats on but this is good too so yay!!

last week i went out to visit my new like place/city and i found this huge média shop and they had albums too so i bought 2 too and i got a kang daniel album from vinted lemme show

i didn't take a pic of love & letter but i pulled vernon bookmark/pc so yay because that was my first vernon!!!! i still haven't pulled a scoups btw i think he hates me and i ended up buying a set of jun and hao pc because i never pulled a hao either and i needed my bf to come home immediately

[smoosnoom]

FMF AHH

the i love you too scene actually broke me. like i was in shambles. anyway

i love finding out my favourite people on the internet share more then one interest! if is so exciting!

also i absolutely love love love the wolf scene. ik you already talked ab it in another Ask but idc uhh anyway that scene destroyed my everything,, also omg i love the parts where they legit just dance around like.. you see everything from their perspective and then it zooms out and they are just dancing! !like silly little guys!!! back to the ily scene the way she said it? hello?? the emotion????? god that actres. i love her

and and i love the ending. they didn’t get their house back. they didn’t get freedom. they still have to steal food from grocery stores but they are still happy because they have learned despite everything they can still settle and be happy! i love it, it puts on a more real amd honestly more interesting perspective then all the ‘person is unhappy person is saved person is happy and safe and has no troubles’ blah blah blah fmf on top!!

(also if you rant on this Ask don’t u date apologize. i see you moobynom. moynoymoob. shh don’t say sorry just rant ☺️☺️☺️

HI AGAIN it has been months and iam sosoososo sorry for that . but ienjoyed reading ur thoughts and u are so so right !

the "i love u too" scene ruined my life for Real oh my god . i love u but i shouldnt have married u what were they THINKING . oh my god . and that is such a real thing too oh my god ineed to walk into the ocean

oh u are so real for that because i loveee the way they dance . stop motion is avery versatile form of media and i love the way they had all the characters move in a very . intriguing way, moving away from realism and into a more artistic way of showing them act and behave, like their dancing especially ! they dance so cartoony but also Not . the grocery store dance scene lives in my heart forever n ever .

the ending u are so right !!!!!!!! like they didnt gain any of their things back they dont have a physical home anymore and they might have to return back to their hole and they dont have freedom but they are still happy ! mr fox is maybe even a little less concerned with his materialistic view and is now maybe valuing his family all the more :)

this also reminds me of mr fox's relationship with ash because u know . the entire time ash is just trying his best to grow into the sort of outstanding fox that his dad used to be, and its clearly not the path made for him because he just keeps falling short, and its even visible when mr fox favors kristofferson a little more because hes kind of just . the fox that mr fox used to be . and at the end ash doesnt even do anything incredible to make up for it ! but mr fox loves him anyway ! because ash doesnt need to do anything great because he is already great to mr fox !!!! oh my god !!!!!!!!

anyway . so many thoughts so many emotions i know it has been Forever but if u ever want to drop by into my inbox again feel so free to do so !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cherritaxo]

Hi hi! So I noticed that on one your asks, you said that you moved across country for a guy but are now single, what happened?

If it's ok for me to ask 🥺

Hello hello!

Aww well thank u for asking, even though u didnt say plz, i love that emote so I'll answer 😘

WARNING LONG STORY

Well, I met this guy online, he was a friend of a friend. I fell for his voice, one of my kinks, & then i saw what he looked like & i thought he was hot, so I pursued him.

I know, my first mistake 😭

Then we did long distance & we were just so good together. He was so sweet, attentive, pervy, a good listener & texter, he'd send me $ just because 🥰

Then in 1 month of dating, we made plans in my son & i moving in with him. We were in a toxic household where my anxiety was thru the roof & so was my sons, so he opened his home to us.

I paid to get my car towed from CA (CALI GIRL HERE) to the East Coast, & got my son & i First class tickets. They were only $1,100 so why not 🥰

Anywho, it kinda went down hill since we fkn landed (starting with we waited for him at the airport for over an hour). I kept a mental checklist of things i liked n didnt like about him.

Fast forward to our 4th month together (he never remembered the date & never got me anything but I would), he finally had a talk about US. Mind you, I was already checked out on the first month we moved in, so around our 3rd monthaversary, & he said he valued my friendship too much to lose me.

So I said ok so we're friends then, he said well no i dont wana lose you cuz ur like my best friend but i dont wana hurt u

🙄🙄🙄

My ex before him told me that he was probably turned off by the way i look (im chubby, small boobs, 5'5, mexican, piercings, tattoos) & was just being nice to not hurt my feelings. Cuz apparently somw guys are stupid enough to telling the difference between reality and filters. Even tho we video chatted, my ex said it was probably my tummy that turned him off 🥺

In the end, as I said, I clocked out. Idc that we're not together anymore, bcuz he's not the MAN that i fell for, this dudes a traumatized brat who doesn't believein therapy or medication (didnt know that), & I dont want that for a partner, gross.

So, we're still living here in his house, but i mind my own business. I'm working my ass off, looking for more ways to make money, meeting new people, keeping my son safe, getting my bills straight, so I can save up & get our own place.

And who knows, maybe I'll become rich in the next two years, & live back in Cali 🥰 and then fly all over the world 🌎

I'm not gonna let some guy, whos too depressed and anxiety filled to even fuck me (2 min bathroom quickie & thats it), to dim my light.

Especially not my sons 🔪

I just gotta keep going & it'll all work out in the end 😤🤟✨️

[satelitis]

꒰ HERMES ꒱ . . . talk to me! tell me about your day, your current hyperfixation or whatever’s on your mind :) please don’t vent!!

RAHHHH i hate the cherik mfs. “christine should’ve chosen erik idc!” but if u were in christine’s position u would’ve absolutely cared?? she is a victim of abuse and it is so fucking disgusting how many people still romanticize cherik despite her never once showing any romantic attraction towards him at all, and the kiss doesn’t count because she did it as a last resort in hopes of him atleast letting raoul go and every single thought and feeling she has in this book is constantly ignored because she’s meant to be this damsel is distress, especially in the movie, which i feel is overlooking her character and what she’s gone through?? nobody in the story has actually cared what she thinks and what she wants because she’s beautiful and sings nice, which immediately erases anything she’s thinking because it simply doesn’t matter to anybody anymore, both in the fandom and in the book/musical/movie/any adaptation. it’s also annoying as fuck how everyone’s trying to justify erik’s actions by bringing up everything raoul did wrong, but erik is the one who actually abused christine. first he pretends to be the angel of music to gain christine’s trust, meaning he’s been lying to her since the moment they first met, and also using her dead father to manipulate her into trying to make her fall in love with him, and not taking no as an answer. it’s also rlly important to remember infatuation can be different than love in christine’s case. she was infatuated with the idea of him being an angel sent by her dead father, she wasn’t in love with erik. in most adaptations, christine is between the ages of 15 and 20, and the phantom is always over 30, this can count as grooming (directed at the mocie) despite the age christine is still a student and he is still her teacher, he has a position of power over her that other characters like raoul or meg or mme giry don’t have. “angel or father, friend or phantom, who is it there staring?” — direct quote from wandering child in act 2. she’s still confused about who he is and if he’s going to hurt her or not and what his intentions for her are. multiple songs in the musical also clearly demonstrate how scared she is of him, and rightfully so, after he murdered multiple people around her, some even in front of her, and kidnapped her twice. not to mention how he also tried to kill raoul, her fiancé, several times. the conversation she has with raoul on the rooftop in the book, she’s hesitant to be there because she has no privacy and erik is always watching her in some way so she can’t even talk to raoul for a few minutes without fearing for her life. back to the kiss in the final lair, despite how many interpretations there are, she has always cursed his name in the few moments leading up to kiss, and she only ever actually kissed him because she didn’t know if he was going to hurt her or not, it must’ve been terrifying for a 20 year old to have to kiss a man she doesn’t actually know as an attempt to save her life and possibly raouls. in the book the lives of countless parisians have been placed in her hands and erik is actively trying to force her to marry him as she can hear raoul in the torture chamber every so often simultaneously, knowing she can’t even help him. the mfs who try to tell me this isn’t abuse are the same mfs who only like the phantom because they think he’s hot 😕

꒰ HERMES ꒱ . . . talk to me! tell me about your day, your current hyperfixation or whatever’s on your mind :) please don’t vent!!

OH MY GOD TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUTA MY MOUTH and the cherik stan’s are the hostile ones who get defensive bc they know deep down that christine belongs w raoul and NOT FUCKING ERIK

[baekhvuns]

thank you for the recommendation of the angsty songs!!!! how'd i forgot about osts that truly helped for angst 😭😭 and and anddd!!! i have been writing my fics in google docs as well and it's very helpful! since i saw someone said that writing straight on tumblr usually happened to have repeated paragraphs at times so,,,

hegehehegdhrj i think my mingi ff is a little rushing towards the ending since im sucks in writing good ending considering my brain only generating ideas somewhere for the climax lmaoo but i hopeeee i can have audiences enjoying it <3 im not really good with angst although my life is full with angst so i guess i just wanted to be happy once in my own stories (ouch). i dont really consider myself a writer, just a mere reader tbh skshsjkss but i will let you know once i have the courage to drop that fic :D

no but recently, as i said, i only saw porns on my tags, etc and barely seen any mafia with actual plot yk,,, like real legit plot with long ass words written so im a little sad and thought that nobody wants to write mafia anymore or they have lost any new twist for the trope lmaoooo 😭😭😭 being said, i missed your mafia mingi so much i hope its doing well and in a pink of health in your draft <333

anyways new update: i have started writing reincarnation au san and next to write perhaps news reporter yunho (that my brain generated when i was watching morning news yesterday 🫡) or fake dating au seonghwa (that i have been keeping the draft for more than a year now),,, let's see.... ehe :D

p/s: kinda want a new job but at the same i dont want one yet just so i can continue converting all my ideas into writing 🦍

ofc any time!! forgetting you by davichi is the ultimate angst wiring song pls do give it a listen if u have the chance! you’re right, ever since tumblr updated from mid last year(??) it’s been repeating paragraphs and even has a word block limit 😭😭 glad ur writing on something that can save ur works!

AAAAAAAAAA im very excited for ur mingi fic im sure the audiences(me) will love them!!! no bc i also suck at writing endings so i just leave it at a cliffhanger-ish/up to the reader type of ending 😭😭 LMFAOOOOO NOT UR LIFE BEING FULL OF ANGST FBWNBSKCK pls do!! hopefully u get the courage ✊🏻✊🏻

😭😭😭 how did we as a society move from full bloom plot heavy fics to just porno’s 😭😭😭 NO BC FBSJHFS I WAS VISITING MY MINGI MAFIA DRAFT BEFORE I WAS ANSWERING THIS ITS STILL THERE AND SITTING PRETTY IVE COME UP W A BETTER SAME PLOT FOR IT AND I WILL BRING BACK MAFIAS FOR YOU my dedication for that fic will be u <3 if i don’t write the f1 fic first that is 😭😭 or a miraculous lady bug fic <3

WE NEED SMALL DETAILS OF ALL UR PLOTS. WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN NEWS REPORTER YUNHO. ????. WHAT THE FUCK DID U SAY ABOUT PARK SEONGHWA AND FAKE DAYING FHKWHDWKJDKW

ANON IDC THIS HOLIDAY I BETTER SEE THAT FAKE DATINF FIC ON THIS APP I DO NOT CARE I WILL HUNT U FOR THAT FIC FHAMFJKSJDLA

[spacenachi]

its 4:15 am and i have not slept :)