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oh-snapperss · 1 year ago

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i was tempted to post the whole fic here but here's a section from your work, "ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece":

""I have twenty-two minutes left," Skizz says, as if he were merely telling Etho what time of day it was, or that the chickens were all loose in the base again, or even that Impulse had fallen asleep on the stairs again, and don't wake him up! "And this is my final order."

Skizz fixes Etho with a look, right in the eye, one that Etho knows he'll never escape. The ticking still doesn't stop. "My time will not go to anybody else. TIES gets to final three."

Etho's grip around the axe tightens, but– he turns to face Tango and Impulse. “Tango, you don't– you don't want it?” Please take it. Please. But Tango is shaking his head, resolute. "You need it most, dude."

Skizz turns, and kneels, his face turned to the ground in acceptance. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The axe swings upward, poised in the air above Skizz's neck, and the night falls silent, the air static with energy Etho can't quite place.

(There are Eyes w̸̜̼͗͝͝a̴̦͓̻̋̂t̷̤̰̞́͠c̵̠̯̩͌h̷̫̰̏i̸̱̙̻̊̋͑ň̷̙̠g̵̫̱̊.)

For a moment, the axe hangs there, held up by invisible strands that Etho swears are pulling the axe away from Skizz's neck, tightening by the moment as if to stop him from doing the very thing he knows he'll do at any moment. The axe drops towards Skizz's neck, falters, and pulls back up again before Etho can force his body to go through with it. He grits his teeth, forces his eyes to stay open–to aim. Readjusting his grip, Etho takes one deep breath. Then two. He's wasting his time and he's not even sure why. It's not like he's never killed before, or even used an axe to do it.

“Etho....?”

He doesn't even know who said it.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

(Somewhere in another game, Tango tells Bdubs: He's a survivor, man, that's what he does.)

Etho swings.

Heat travels through his body, up through his hands and arms and then the rest of him. It's so much that he thinks he might explode, or maybe he just has. The world is silent, save for the ringing in his ears, and a thousand years have passed in the agony that tears through him. The entire world is white and gone and it's too much, enough he’s sure he’s going to die with Skizz."

i can't get that phrase out of my head, of "static energy". your writing is wild man, absolutely one of my fav life series authors :] -vm

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA no i'm so glad you asked about this passage OMGGG

link to the fic this section is from

send me a passage of a fic i've written and i'll give detailed commentary on it!

god. okay so this scene was definitely one of the harder things I've written in the year or so I've done fic--I wanna say I actually rewrote this entire part... three, four, five times? I was struggling to find the right way of describing being hit by lightning because. well. I hadn't been hit by lightning so I didn't really know how to write it!

and them a miracle occurred by my own dumbassery and i accidentally electrocuted myself three times in one night with an outlet and that gave me a starting point! ((disclaimer DO NOT DO THIS))

Anyways, my thinking for this paragraph! I really wanted to have the memories of a slightly domestic life within TIES flashing through Etho's mind. I like to think about TIES as fiercely loyal to each other, like some type of almost family. Not like... family family, but you get what I mean. Having that section, that little glimpse into what living in denial about their time running out was something I think added to the overall horror of this chapter.

Skizz fixes Etho with a look, right in the eye, one that Etho knows he'll never escape. The ticking still doesn't stop. "My time will not go to anybody else. TIES gets to final three." Etho's grip around the axe tightens, but– he turns to face Tango and Impulse. “Tango, you don't– you don't want it?” Please take it. Please. But Tango is shaking his head, resolute. "You need it most, dude."

This part was less me and more the actual dialogue of what happened. I must have rewatched that scene from Etho's pov a good thirty times just trying to peruse what I wanted to keep, edit, or add to this scene. The only thing I really, really needed to convey throughout this entire time was the time ticking away and away, because I think as the end approached in LimL, that was something every player came to notice constantly. Tick, tick, tick, tick. That little rhythm, a reminder that their time was fading. A reminder it wasn't too late.

The other thing I think is worth noting about the ticking in this fic--I don't know if you ever heard or watched Unus Annus, but I was a day one watcher of that channel and the first thing I thought of when I saw the concept of LimL was that goddamn ticking clock they had at the start of their videos, counting down. It really affected how I watched the entire series and I wanted that tick tick tick tick to carry through in this.

(i'm gonna put the rest under a read more!)

Skizz turns, and kneels, his face turned to the ground in acceptance. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. The axe swings upward, poised in the air above Skizz's neck, and the night falls silent, the air static with energy Etho can't quite place. (There are Eyes w̸̜̼͗͝͝a̴̦͓̻̋̂t̷̤̰̞́͠c̵̠̯̩͌h̷̫̰̏i̸̱̙̻̊̋͑ň̷̙̠g̵̫̱̊.)

Once again, a combination of canon and the tick rhythm.

"Static with energy Etho can't quite place." THIS line right here was where I first started trying to carry in the same feelings as one might have felt when reading The Stories We Tell and the Truths Untold. Being set in the same series, if you've read both fics than you'll know that Etho and the Watchers have just a slight history. My goal here was to carry across that weird energy Etho felt back with Team Canada in this fic. And, if the reader had NOT read the Team Canada fic, which I assumed would be the case since Ethubs is such a more popular thing than Team Canada, they could interpret it as the energy of four men on a platform--two about to watch their best friend die, one about to kill his friend, and the fourth knowing his end is here.

And then the final line with the Watching!! Once again, a throwback to the Team Canada fic, where I not only had used this type of text for the watchers throughout, but had also increased how corrupted the word "watching" was as the fic progressed and Etho got more freaked out.

eeeheheehhehehehe this is literally just building up tension for the most part--racing thoughts, the ticking ongoing, Etho hesitating to do it, which is where the fic differentiates from canon.

“Etho....?” He doesn't even know who said it. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. (Somewhere in another game, Tango tells Bdubs: He's a survivor, man, that's what he does.) Etho swings.

Yeah. yeah... this line. I think the throwback to the Line was important to Etho's character and the study through the rest of the fic. He's a survivor. I'll be interested to see if that continues in Secret Life, because...he's actually been so out of character I could see him not choosing himself in the end. Just once. I dunno! I could be SO wrong. But so much of this fic revolves around Etho and his need to survive vs. the love he has for his friends...I think this sets the stage for the internal conflict coming.

Just as the axe connects with Skizz's neck, thunder cracks overhead, so loud the crack shatters through his bones and shakes the platform. The lightning hits Skizz in the same second, blinding white and in arcs of electricity that dance down Skizz's body, down through his hair and neck, and then up the axe still moving into his neck. It's too late to stop the connection, too fast to stop the lightning from dancing its way up the blade and handle. Instead, it's as if Etho is frozen, mesmerized by the tendrils of pure energy that arc around his hands, before connecting, and– Heat travels through his body, up through his hands and arms and then the rest of him. It's so much that he thinks he might explode, or maybe he just has. The world is silent, save for the ringing in his ears, and a thousand years have passed in the agony that tears through him. The entire world is white and gone and it's too much, enough he’s sure he’s going to die with Skizz."

If you've ever wondered what this sounded like in my head... it sounded like this. I don't know how to explain that most of this section was inspired by a fucking Spiderverse track, but here we are. So much of the build-up and the actual strike was this. If you listen to the song, it builds up and up for the first 34 seconds, and then it stops, and then just. GOES and that's the moment I felt like the axe dropped and the lightning struck, in those moments after. I know that probably sounds like . laurie what the fuck is wrong with you. but the vast majority of my fics are written with song inspiration and soundtrack in mind, and music helps me visualize things such as this i could NEVER write otherwise. If you don't listen to soundtrack or instrumentals, I highly recommend it for writing!

Thanks so much for the section!!! I hope this all makes sense:]

#laurie thoughts #anon #fic segment commentary #etho

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1moremilgram-enjoyer · 1 year ago

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I'M STILL ALIVE, I bet you thought you were free from my annoyance for just a split second, didn't you? Kiyahahaha! Ahem... So I'm saving Kazui and Amane for last because you've already talked about them. and the only two people that are in front of them is Es and Jackalope ! Triple A battery (Aro/Ace/Agender) and a Minecraft Rabbit. Intriguing

Hey! Was wondering when you would send this in. It’s gonna be real awkward when we’re done here and I actually have to come up with things to post by myself lol. Unless people keep sending me questions about specific theories like with the Shidou Incident :v /lh

CW: Mentions of death and cults.

Starting with Jackalope because- does it even count as a character? It’s more of a plot device than anything. I’m pretty sure I could point to several background characters with more interesting things going on (Rei, Hinako, all the people in Bring it On who I will make a post about one day mark my words).

That’s hyperbole, of course. Jackalope is cool enough, it does what it needs to do, and while I haven’t read all the minigrams yet, it seems like a funny dude in those. It serves well enough as the somewhat-charismatic mascot that guides the audience surrogate (Es) through the insanity of the plot. I… could however do without the weird comments about some of the girls being pretty or whatever. Why are these kind of mascots always oddly horny?

Anyways, I really don’t know what else to say. I think it’s neat only Es hears it talk, that’s just funny. And the fact it cooks all the meals is just a very nice image.

Also if it’s a Minecraft rabbit does that mean I can take its feet and make a jump boost potion? How does this fit into the lore I wonder.

Whatever, who cares about that thing? We gotta talk about the teen, the myth, the legend! No interest in romance (that we know of), vaguely uncomfortable at the mere mention of sex, and uses they/them pronouns! Wow, Es is just like me fr! There is a reason I have them as my pfp, you know.

I love Es. As a concept, it’s already hilarious that the Warden of the Hell Prison is a fifteen year old amnesiac, but the fact they take it so seriously is incredible. Not just because of the very cool philosophical implications of their very peculiar worldview, but also because it’s just objectively funny. They woke up, no idea what’s going on or how they got there, immediately decided they would devote themselves wholeheartedly to the task set out by a rabbit with horns who only they can hear talk. And then sang a banger to kick the series off, Undercover goes hard.

Speaking of songs, I’ve always wondered if we’re ever gonna get another non-cover Es song. I think they deserve it, as a treat. It’d be great to get some more insight on them.

At least the covers are really good, and can be kinda funny at times. I haven’t listened to all of them, but Es’ somewhat emotionless delivery is sometimes really funny. Like, Fuuta will be over there shouting his heart out, then cut to Es like “you’re the crazy one. bang bang bang.” God I love them.

But the main part of Es’ character are all the VDs, where we get to see them really talk a bunch. And wow this kid is so silly! (Read: they’re immensely fucked up). I really want to know more about them.

Their views on morals and justice are especially interesting to me. They have such a blind faith in Milgram and in their own judgement, it’s impressive. It’s especially funny seeing them try to piece together some kind of cohesive logic as to why they voted people Innocent or Guilty out of our dumbassery.

And of course, this pride in their position and their occupation is great for foiling with several of the characters around. I want to see what they do in the Kotoko VD this Trial, I need them to go off on her ass it’s gonna be great. Fuuta’s second VD also was great for them, such an interesting dynamic. Especially because through Es, Milgram can essentially speak directly to us and confront us in our judgements. I think it’s fantastic.

And then Amane. The parallels man. The unwavering faith in a collective of really fucked up people (Amane’s cult or Milgram fandom which is worse?) guiding their actions, the way Amane sees Milgram as a potentially ideal world the same way Es has full faith in it already, the obsession with punishing wrongs, the fact they’re children!

Listen, I don’t think I need to copy paste the Puerto Rico line. You know what it is, I know what it is. It’s the most out of pocket, crazy comeback I’ve ever seen in my life. The fact it’s 100% a total lie just makes it even funnier, like Es really just said that for no reason huh? The sibling dynamic with these two is strong, I love them so much. 00-03-08 found family where the fics at?

Also speaking of Amane, you know that theory that she may have DID? I think it’d be very funny if next trial a different alter rolls up and stabs Es knowing only one of the alters is affected by Milgram rules. This is why we have to inno Amane, so our Warden doesn’t die before the end of Trial 3 you see? I’m spinning the Es post into inno Amane propaganda, how about that?

Anyways, enough Amane. So you know how Es’ amnesia is basically the biggest part of their character after their devotion to Milgram? That’s why I love when we get small indications of how Es is actually like beyond that.

Es: [Talking about Kazui potentially cheating on his wife] It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. Kazui: It’s personal? E: Yeah. That’s right. K: That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but… E: … K: Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?

See? They have a personal dislike! They have individual thoughts! What’s the deal with that?! Tell me more Es please I wanna know what your deal is! Why do you hate that kind of thing I am begging hands and knees I gotta know! Unless there is no reason which is also perfectly understandable.

Es: Then…what were you aiming for with…that is…your compensated, dating…. Yuno: Why are you stammering? *Gasp* You're so pure!

Es will talk about shit like murder and organ harvesting without a stutter then get squeamish about dating and sex. Oh they just like me fr fr.

Jackalope: [tongue click and raises head] Es: Would you like me to pet you? J: NO! Open the damn door! You can tell just by looking, can’t you?! E: Ah. [footsteps] I have a question. Even though you can’t open a door by yourself, why do you act like such a hotshot?

I forgot about this line from the Es VD but it’s honestly so fucking funny. Es woke up and was already a snarky bastard, God I love them.

The point is that Es isn’t just an audience stand-in blank slate, not fully. And I love them for that. Especially when sometimes their views very evidently contradict the fandom’s majority.

Es will be like “oh Shidou you are the type of person I hate the most. Anyways let me hit that Innocent button, how about that, how does that make you feel bitch?” And of course there’s the inherent silliness of things like “sure Muu committed violent and near-remorseless murder, but Fuuta has a Twitter. I think the Guilty one here is obvious.” Why does Es even trust us anymore?

I have a lot of thoughts about the Legal Adult in Puerto Rico According to Themselves and Themselves Only, but I kinda don’t wanna go look at every single VD ever released at the moment. Might make a more detailed analysis… some day. Don’t hold your breath though.

Final note is the eleventh cell thing from their VD.

Es: What about over there? At eleven o’clock. In that room… Is there no prisoner? Its door is even older than the others—rusty. There’s no lock on the outside as well.

While I don’t know what the deal with it being older would be, currently what I’m predicting is that someone could eventually die because of Es’ (our) judgement, presumably after their song releases in Trial 3, and then Es would be considered a murderer by Milgram rules. Thus, they would need a cell, and they end up getting judged themselves. I think it’d be very fun, though obviously I’d prefer no one dies. I’m not sure there’s any way to prevent that, though, even if Shidou goes unharmed this Trial I feel there’s enough conflict that someone will eventually die. I’m getting off track.

Anyways, hope that was enough for now! Take care!

#jackalope #es #000 #gotta tag the number because just es is a dumb tag #and i aint namedropping the series cause i dont want this in main tag

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arambleaway · 3 years ago

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Lets pretend the lack of Phoenix backstory isn't a logical mechanical choice and instead treat it as a facet of the character because I think it has interesting implications. I saw a post that I can't find because I'm an idiot that mentioned how odd it really was in a story context that we never hear or see anything about his family and given my personal bias I have some thoughts. So. Treating it as a story feature. Lets begin.

I am extrapolating my ideas from a couple places. The first being that 1) Phoenix never really mentions his family so something happened to cause them to no longer be a part of each others' lives. 2) There is a seeming lack of grief and no mention even while on trial for murder in college. 3) Phoenix does not, to my eye, appear to hold the hallmarks of people growing up in an abusive household. But 4) He latches who he is onto other people with worrying intensity.

I'm merging these facts with my own belief that Phoenix is trans (disprove me I dare you) and my own observations as to what Phoenix is like as a parent. Also the fact that his name is Phoenix. Because honestly. So anyway. My conclusions are thus:

Phoenix is trans, but he didn't pick his name. He was named Phoenix at birth by his exceedingly law-hating hippie parents, which seems to be a popular idea from my narrow exposure. My view is that he was one of those kids that was like 7 and just knew. (Bastards. I love them but ugh. I wish) So Phoenix's parents being the amazingly supportive people they were, immediately swapped pronouns and even relocated him to another school so that he could have a fresh start without having to deal with a bunch of questions. The absolute bastard of a teacher nearly wrecks that (diatribe for another post) but Miles and Larry are enough to make them keep Phoenix in place because of how much the two mean to him.

Huh, guess this means Larry and Miles don't know about the trans thing. And even though they like Miles for hanging with Phoenix they aren't thrilled about Miles's hyperfixation. I bet it would be like when you go to a friends house they try to feed you except whenever Miles is over its like "try art!" or "have you ever thought of opening a business?" You could probably have some funny shenanigans as Miles, Larry, and Phoenix try to follow these kinds of suggestions in the most... them way possible.

So Phoenix's parents are super supportive throughout his childhood even reaching out to get him Miles's address though they aren't thrilled about Miles's Dad's job. Probably part of why Phoenix didn't know anything about Miles vanishing is that his parents didn't exactly care enough to ask.

A note though before moving into the reasons for the rift, are that while Phoenix's parents were super supportive, it was in a very hands off way. I'll get back to this.

So college comes around and Phoenix wants to take some law classes. Which his parent just are not thrilled or happy about. To the point where its like: fine, but we aren't going to pay for them. And then Phoenix sees Miles in the Paper and they are just... appalled. They refuse to pay for anymore of Phoenix's college and spend a rather taxing weekend trying to convince him to go back into art and trying to tell Phoenix that swapping majors for a man is ridiculous and law is nothing for a good sort like him. Oh. hehe, just had the thought that this is when Phoenix first watches Legally Blonde and it does the exact opposite of what his parents were hoping.

So they are arguing and by the end of the weekend they, honestly rather cordially, tell Phoenix that he is their son and they love him but cannot condone his choice. And he can take what he likes from his things in the house. They'll keep it all for him so that he can have it there when he comes to his senses and finds a decent career. But until then, it would be best if they didn't see him. Thus, Phoenix goes back to university heartbroken and seriously questioning if he made the right choice. (He probably watches Legally Blonde more than he'll admit.)

Then Dahlia comes along and the worst possible moment, and he is absolutely gone because he is craving that validation affection offers and hey law must be good for something because the courthouse brought him his darling Dollie. He latches all his insecurity and worry into the idea of loving and being loved by Dahlia/Iris. Which then makes his defense of her make more sense to my demi brain because I cannot comprehend that level of dumbassery for love. Just personally. It also makes sense because he absolutely latches onto Edgeworth after the trial because doing so is safe in a sense. Edgeworth can't hurt him because he isn't there and even if they are saying he is evil, Phoenix can save him after all he proved law wasn't evil, he can prove Miles isn't either. Or actually, he has to prove Miles isn't evil because if he doesn't then his parents were right and he fucked up is a massive way. So it goes.

The parent thing though! Swooping back around to the whole independent, hands off style of parenting, I really strongly believe in that being how he grew up because that is exactly how he is with Trucy. People will emulate their parents' good parts when parenting themselves, so I think he really emulates that part of how he grew up. He trusts her to act independently and lets her have her space. But he is very clearly always there for her no matter what. (which ties into everything above see? Occasionally i have maybe a sense i know something about what I'm writing.)

So yeah. My zigzagging thoughts on why Phoenix is the way he is and the family he comes from. I guess just a last note is I don't think they ever reconcile. Especially not after the disbarment. They would see the news and just... crumple because they knew it, their darling son has been corrupted. Oh. ouch. They see that and empty out his room. And Phoenix sees it all sitting outside when he goes to try and talk to them. Oof. Oh. Why do I hurt myself like this. Maybe they even fucking move. They treat it like the death of a child and just leave. So Phoenix doesn't actually know where they are. Which might also contribute to the whole 7 years of depression he goes through. Ughh. Now I wanna think about that. NO. I have other shit that popped up. Later ramble, later.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #dahlia hawthorne #iris hawthorne #aa

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years ago

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I've been thinking a lot about the Sheriff role, and mainly, about what actually happens when the Sheriff picks the wrong person and dies. I imagine the game code just kills them with a heart attack or something...but I'm thinking less about the game mechanics right now and more about what it would be like for the person who the sheriff tried to kill. Just, one of the Hermits having somebody they know has been following them around and mistrusting them, only to watch that person drop with seemingly no warning or reason... The Sheriff dying in the crewmate's arms as they try to save them, or maybe just try frantically to think of some way they won't be blamed for the death...long story short, I'm in the mood for some angst with a wrongful Sheriff kill attempt, if you happen to find that inspiring.

soooo i wrote the thing and only then reread your request and saw the word “hermit”... whoops… i’ve used the friday night crew, hope that’s okay lol

honestly i’ve started defaulting to the friday night crew, especially when it’s not specified which crew is wanted :)

…

At the end of the first meeting, Brody heads over to communications to do his download. As he does, he quickly realises someone is behind him. “You appear to be following me.”

“Uh huh,” says Joker, watching Brody with the expectant expression of a child who wants to ask their parent for something. “You appear to be doing the download.”

“I AM doing the download,” Brody responds.

“Uh huh. Are you faking it?”

“...if I was, do you really think I’d say yes right there?”

“I dunno.”

Brody finishes his download and goes up to admin to upload. Joker follows him, causing his friend to shoot him a scowl. “Maybe you should spend less time bothering me and more time doing your own tasks.”

“I think you’re the imposter,” Joker states. “I want you to kill in front of me so I can get you kicked off.”

“What’s stopping me from just killing you right here in front of no witnesses?” asks Brody casually.

Joker stares at him for a moment. “Gonna be honest, I did not think of that.”

Brody snorts. “I thought not. Lucky for you, I can’t kill you this round. Get outta here and do your tasks.”

Joker moves away from Brody and watches him stand at the panel, apparently uploading. He shifts from foot to foot, before pulling out his gun and aiming it directly at Brody. Despite his flippant attitude to the whole situation, he genuinely believes Brody is not a crewmate.

So he pulls the trigger.

And immediately lets out a scream.

Brody whirls round, startled, to find Joker collapsing, the gun clattering to the ground. Reacting fast, he catches his friend and carefully lowers him down, trying not to panic. “Nonononononono! Joker, stay with me! Stay with me, buddy!”

He feels Joker’s wrist for a pulse. He finds one but it’s weak, and getting weaker by the second.

“Stay awake, Joker!” Brody hurriedly taps Joker’s face. “HEY! Stay with me! C’mon, please…!”

But within a second or two, the light in Joker’s eyes fades and his weakly moving chest settles.

Brody hangs his head, hugging his friend’s body close to him. “Damnit, Joker,” he whispers. “Why…?”

He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice the arrival of two more people until one of them reports the body and everyone is teleported to the meeting table.

“Brody just killed Joker,” says Endless immediately. “We saw it.”

Skizz glares at him. “No we didn’t! He was next to the body when we got there but we didn’t see him do it! We didn’t even see the body flop. It coulda been a swooper, lover kill, anything.”

“Okay, but you get how bad it looks that he was sitting next to the body, not reporting it, right?”

“He was cradling Joker in his arms! Have some compassion, man!”

Brody stays silent and lets them argue. There’s no point in trying to interrupt while someone is fighting his corner for him. Plus, he’s still semi-stunned from what just happened.

Finally, Etho speaks up: “Guys, guys, guys. Shh for a second. I wanna hear what happened from Brody.”

Everyone turns expectantly to him.

“Joker tried to sheriff me,” Brody says quietly.

“Why are you so sure?” asks Etho. “Are you saying there’s no way it could’ve been a swooper or lover kill?”

“I’m certain. Swooper kills and lover kills leave behind wounds; failed sheriff kills don’t. There was no blood, no wound on Joker’s body, nothing.”

“I can confirm there was no blood,” Skizz says. “Endless?”

Endless nods reluctantly. “I mean… I didn’t see any. But I still think it’s incredibly sus that Brody didn’t report it.”

“I was in shock,” says Brody truthfully. “Given a few more seconds, I probably would’ve reported. But I was just too shocked.”

He stares down at the table, Joker’s cry of pain echoing in his ears. He’s said his piece. It’s up to Etho now. Etho has so much pull; if Etho is unconvinced, Brody will be voted out.

“C’mon, you? Shocked?” Endless is clearly completely unconvinced. “You’ve played enough of this game that seeing someone die shouldn’t really faze you.”

Brody fixes him with a cold look. “He died in my arms. I literally saw the light leave his eyes. Tell me that wouldn’t affect you too.”

Endless simply meets his gaze and doesn’t respond.

Finally, Etho says, “I believe Brody here. Endless, why were you so determined to say he did it?”

“Because it really did look like he did it. Sorry if he didn’t.”

To Brody’s relief, he’s not voted off. He leaves the meeting table with everyone else and heads back down to admin to finish his upload. After he’s done this, he realises he forgot to swipe his card, so he goes to do this now.

But as he gets out his card, a shadow falls over the table. He looks up and his heart skips a beat as he registers the figure standing there, aiming a gun at him.

“Sorry, Brody, but since you’re clear, you’re of no use to me,” says Endless emotionlessly.

Before Brody can even open his mouth, there’s a loud BANG and his vision immediately goes black.

“-ake up, dude! Brody!”

Brody forces his eyes open and finds Joker’s face peering down at him. Blinking, he sits up. “Joker? Oh great. I’m dead, right?”

Joker slowly nods. “Yep. Endless got you.”

“I shoulda known it was him from the way he was SO eager to push your death on me.”

“Yeah, about that…” Joker rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry, dude. I tend to not trust anyone in this game so I took a shot and… yeah. Turns out I didn’t just kill myself, I ended up traumatising you.”

Brody gives a chuckle. “It’s okay. I’ve just never had a sheriff fail to kill me before. It kinda shocked me.”

“I don’t blame you. I guess I’d better be more careful about who I go after next time, huh?”

Brody raises an eyebrow. “You? Careful?”

“I know, I know,” Joker snickers. “I’m probably gonna forget about this in, like, three rounds, tops.”

“I think you’re vastly overestimating your attention span and level of dumbassery.”

“Shut up.”

#friday night stabby #misterjoker #brodyman #etho #theendless #vaunna’s requests

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frostsinth · 4 years ago

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Burdened by the Stars - Pt. 3

Part 1 | 2 - MasterList

Ok, so I’ve been sitting on this mostly finished part since basically the end of the Year. I’m sorry, I just forgot how close I was to being done. And for some reason, I’m enjoying daydreaming out chapters right now rather than writing them -sigh-

But either way, Here’s an update! I hope you guys continue to enjoy the dumbassery and himbo vibes! If you like my work, consider supporting me by buying me a coffee from the link in my MasterList above. I have lots of other inane ramblings there too if you are interested. DM me for commissions, shoot me asks with thoughts/comments!

All the best, and Enjoy!

He didn’t answer for a long moment, and I could almost feel his eyes boring into the back of my skull. I ignored him to the best of my ability, leading the mare not to the main road, but to a small deer trail that ran along the outside wall. Luckily, the goblins depended pretty heavily upon their enchantments. I wouldn’t have to worry about being spotted as we approached the wall and followed along the smoother track I had picked out years ago. Guards did not frequent the turrets, and I knew we would not set off the magical triggers here. Once we got into the castle? That would be a different story...

“You never told me your name.” Erramun called softly.

I stiffened, casting a quick glance at him over my shoulder. He was leaning over the horn of the saddle, perhaps trying to look nonchalant. But the grimace on his features confirmed it was simply the more comfortable position for him. I wondered at that for a moment. How well he had hidden his discomfort before. How far he had travelled with such an injury that obviously pained him so. I wasn’t sure if that made him lucky, or just stubborn. I watched his eyes studying the great stone wall we moved parallel to, and chewed over what answer to give him. Had he heard my name before? The name of the “goblin Princess”? If I told him it honestly, would he finally understand who it was he had been talking to all this time?

For some reason, I didn’t want him to make that connection. Not yet. Not ever, if I could avoid it. I was hoping that after I got his wound washed up and dressed, I would be able to convince him to give up his foolish folly. A part of me wondered if he would treat me differently, if he knew. Would he spend his energy attempting to win me over? I didn’t fancy the idea of having to fend off his advances. And if I was being completely honest… I rather liked how he treated me now. Like an equal. Not someone to fawn over, or try to flatter and praise to some unseen advantage. He didn’t act like I couldn’t do things for myself, or like it was beneath me to do so, as others so often did. But I knew I couldn’t avoid giving him a name forever...

“Gana.” I told him after a moment too long, settling on the name my nieces and nephews had dubbed me with years ago as toddlers unable to pronounce the full ‘Morgana’. “... My name is Gana.”

“Do you… serve the Princess then, Gana?” He asked, hesitant, but his tone curious. Then snorted slightly. “I’m not sure I can picture you as a servant. Obedient... quiet.”

“Well, you have known me for such a long time.” I replied, unwilling to give any real answer. “Obviously you would know, now wouldn’t you?” He started to open his mouth with a bemused curl in its corners but I waved my hand to silence him. “Shush now. Sneaking in requires a modicum of quiet, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sneaking in?” He echoed, though I saw him wince at his own volume. He quickly corrected that to a whisper with his next words. “... Why are we sneaking in?”

I glanced at him again. “Because you’re an orc. Half-orc, alright.” I quickly corrected when I saw him open his mouth to argue. “Either way, you’ll raise a lot of questions. Call too much attention to us.”

“And that’s a…. Bad thing?”

I pulled us up beside the small side gate around the back side of the palace. His mare shifted nervously, and I saw her eyes roll to consider the steep drop off to our left. It was narrow here, but I knew she would fit safely. I had taken my own horse out this route more than once. I passed him the reins momentarily as I turned back to fiddle with the locks and latches.

“... It would just make things complicated, ok?” I told him distractedly. “Just... Trust me.”

I heard him give a deep rumble. “Alright. I do.”

I jerked my head back to him. “You do what?”

His emerald eyes seemed particularly vibrant against the grey sky overhead. “Trust you. You seem very kind, Gana. And very smart.”

I almost laughed, but quickly remembered where we were. I shook my head instead, bewildered. “You know I was being sarcastic before, right?” I quipped. “You don’t actually know me at all.”

Another rumble, and I saw him nod with it. “Yes… But you are the first human who did not seem afraid of me when you first saw me. And you speak plainly, not with that strange way of speaking without speaking.” He offered me a weak grin, and my heart skipped a little. “And now you, eh… sneak me into the castle. To help me. Even though I have offered you nothing in return.”

“What do you mean, speaking without speaking?” I asked, turning back to the latches to hide the sudden flush to my face.

A soft ‘hmm’ this time, as he struggled to find the right words. “The King, Valeri-whatsits. He would speak, and say words. And I would hear them, and I knew them. But I would learn nothing from them. He might as well not have spoken at all.” I could hear the frown lacing his next words. “I did not like it. I felt… foolish, and confused.”

I snorted, shaking my head and pulling the last lock loose. Unwinding the chains to yank open the creaky gate. It led into a deep tunnel, not quite high enough to ride through on horseback. I hoped for his sake Erramun continued to keep his head bowed over the horn of his mount’s saddle.

“That’s how court is.” I told him distractedly, waving them through before refastening the gate behind us. I took up the mare’s reins again to lead them through the tunnel. “People never say what they mean. And to learn anything, you have to ask the right questions. Then you have to listen to what people don’t say.”

His soft growl reverberated around the tunnel walls, and his mount skittered slightly at the sound. I could tell she was nervous by the close quarters, and patted her nose reassuringly. She gave a soft wuffing sound and nudged my shoulder.

“This makes no sense. Why not just-”

“Shh!” I told him, pulling up short as I heard the click of boots at the other end of the tunnel.

But after a moment, the sounds passed. I sighed quietly, then gave the mare a gentle tug to start leading her forward once more. The tunnel was not long, and within a few yards we were at its mouth. The large mare attempted to surge forward at this realization, eager to be in the open air, but I held her firm. Planting my heels to keep her from overwhelming me, though I was certain she would have no trouble doing so should she so choose. But she let me still her as I poked my head out first and looked around. The small side path was empty, and I quickly led us out and up. Heading from the outer wall around the outside of the city to the castle proper.

“... Can I speak now?” He asked after a little, and I rolled my eyes.

“Well, it seems you already did.”

He chuckled softly. “See? I like you. You do not speak without speaking. This is why I trust you.”

I paused, rubbing the mare’s nose absent mindedly. Feeling a stab of guilt at his words. After all, I might not beat around the bush like my brother... but I was certainly withholding a lot of information. She gave another soft wuff. I shook myself, bringing my mind back to the present, and started to lead her forward again.

“I was afraid all humans would be like the King.” He told me after a few moments. Seeming strangely eager to fill the silence that had fallen between us.

I peeked at him quickly. “Have you never met a human before?” I couldn’t help the curious edge to my tone.

He offered me a toothy grin. “Just one. My mother.” The half-orc tilted his head lazily to the side. “She used to tell me all kinds of stories when I was little. Mostly about Princesses, and knights, and other such childish things.”

“Hardly seems childish,” I scoffed, “I grew up in a castle, after all-” I stopped myself short, realizing I had almost let on to a little more than I had intended. I quickly changed the subject. “I’ve never met an orc before- HALF orc,” I corrected again, shooting him a look which he chased off with a grin as he withheld his objection, “I hope they are not all as dense as you.”

Erramun gave another light chuckle, obviously more amused than insulted by my comment. “I think some are denser.” He rubbed his free hand at the short cropping of hair by his temple. “... But I have been accused of having a heavy skull.”

You could say that again. I grumbled silently to myself. Still, I couldn’t resist another peek at him over my shoulder. It could have been my imagination, but he seemed to be drooping more and more. And perhaps his voice was becoming a little weaker. I would have to get him someplace soon, or else I would be wrangling with an unconscious orc in the hallways of the goblin castle. I didn’t fancy my chances of managing such a feat, especially while continuing to remain unnoticed. I was good, but I wasn’t that good.

I made a point to hurry as fast as I could manage through the outer city to the outer wall of the castle proper. We approached the servant and delivery entrance at the far back side without being spotted. It was quiet for the time being, as all morning deliveries would have already been completed and staff should have all been on site no later than an hour or so after dawn. I quickly led them through the wrought iron gate, then around the back to a small yard fenced in by short stone walls. Perhaps it had been intended for a garden at one point, but it was mostly dirt now, save for one small tree and some sparse grass. I knew the servants often used it to park carts meant to be unloaded for the kitchen, rather than bringing things through the front entrances.

“Can you walk?” I asked him, closing another small gate behind us.

He grunted the affirmative, and ungracefully dismounted. Leaning heavily against the mare still as he tried to find his balance. I wondered if he was perhaps far too prideful to trust his assessment of his abilities, and quickly began to consider a few alternative options in case that were true. Though I couldn’t think of any truly plausible ones at that moment. Then I saw him hesitate, stroking the mare’s mane fondly.

“... Will she be alright here?”

I was surprised at the tenderness in his voice. He was so large, with such a harsh looking brow and jutting teeth. Even by goblin standards he seemed a little monstrous. Which made his tone seem all the more misplaced, and I had to resist the urge to look around for a different source. I glanced over at the mare quietly instead as he gently stroked her thick white neck.

“... I’ll come down later to bring her to the stables.” I assured him. “But first, we need to get you up to the tower before you pass out.”

“The tower?” He echoed, giving the mare a final pat and staggering after me as I made my way to the servant’s door at the far side of the yard.

“You have a lot of questions for someone who has no options.” I grumbled, shouldering open the door and ducking through it. “Or perhaps you are actually half parrot as well as orc?” I put a little extra effort into pretending his irritating habit of echoing my words was the only reason I was so hesitant to answer his prying.

He chuckled, but didn’t answer either. Once through the door I turned to watch the orc scrunch his body up, bowing low at the waist and curling his wide shoulders, with his hands practically on the ground to balance himself. He slunk through the small doorway with a grunt. Once inside, he was barely able to straighten himself, his head bumping into the ceiling.

“... Is the whole building like this?” He asked a few yards down after the fifth low hanging lamp clunked him on the head.

I stifled a giggle, amused at his perturbed look as he rubbed at the side of his skull indignantly. He had to keep his head cocked to the side at an odd angle to keep from scraping the ceiling with each step. I pretended I wasn’t looking though as his emerald eyes swung back around, ducking through another particularly low frame. There was nothing to look at, after all, I reminded myself. Just a bloody half-orc who wanted to marry the Princess...

“These are the servant’s quarters.” I told him, unable to completely keep my amusement from my voice. “But it is a goblin castle after all. Most things are goblin sized.”

He grumbled again, opening his mouth to offer a retort. I quickly held up my hand, then brought my finger to my lips. Silencing him as a small gaggle of goblins passed us by, talking noisily among themselves. I waited until they were around the next corner, then turned back to the half-orc behind me. I tapped my lips again, then gestured for him to follow me.

We made our way through the rest of the castle almost without incident. Erramun got wedged in the narrow stairwell from the servants’ quarters to the main floor, but a bit of wiggling had him loose with only a few extra wasted minutes. Once there, the ceilings and hallways were a little larger, and I heard him sigh with palpable relief as he was able to straighten more comfortably. I led him as quickly as we were able. Skirting past guards and down side hallways to avoid the servants and guests. Luckily, I knew every nook and cranny by heart; I had spent every summer and winter here since I was nine years old. And had loved nothing more than to explore its vast expanse. The castle was huge, and intricately constructed. There were hundreds of rooms, at least as many hallways, and more than a few exciting features to keep an adventurous young spirit entertained. Goblins used magic nearly as often as they used conventional decoration and construction methods, and the castle was filled with enchantments. From doorways that opened by themselves, to moving mosaics and paintings, to candelabras that flared to life when you passed, to seemingly solid walls that one could walk right through. There was no shortage of things to astound. And that was just the castle! This didn’t even hold a candle to the massive goblin city in the tunnels and passageways beneath it.

It was also helpful that I was intimately familiar with the castle’s routine; when the servants changed the bedsheets or did the wash, when the guards made their rounds, when the nobles came to the drawing room for drinks and cards. The general bubbly air of the castle was almost infectious, and I couldn’t help smiling at the laughter and music that echoed down almost every hallway. Delicious smells filled the air as the cooks prepared the mid-day meal, and I heard the occasional clatter and clash of other servants cleaning or tidying.

A peek at Erramun found both his eyes and his mouth wide as he took it all in. I remembered fondly my own first time walking the halls, and I smiled warmly at the memory. I watched him crane his neck back to look at the intricate mosaics on the ceilings, then down to the floor to consider the no less than three to seven different rugs running the length of each hallway. Niko had done his best to instill a bit of order on the palace since he had moved in over a decade before. But goblins would be goblins, and they loved patterns and colors. To them, the more made the merrier, and their décor was absolutely overflowing with it. Curtains and lace and frills. Decadent chandeliers and sculptures and vases. Gold and silver, copper and bronze. Lapis lazuli, ruby, emerald, diamond, onyx, opal, sapphire. Anything and everything imaginable lined the walls and poured into the hallways themselves. It was a bit cluttered, and certainly overwhelming if you weren’t used to it. But each piece shone and sparkled, and the halls felt warm, clean, and welcoming despite being mostly dimly lit. Goblins could see in the dark, after all.

I wondered briefly if orcs shared this trait. If I recalled my history correctly, orcs and goblins shared an ancient common ancestor. I didn’t have an enchantment on my eyes as Niko did, but I had become rather adept at moving about in dimly lit places. And with more non-goblins wandering the halls these days, there were more sources of light than in the past. I burned with curiosity to know how Erramun’s half-orc blood affected his sight. But it was something that would have to be an investigation for later, as I felt silence was the key factor for our stealth through the castle. Thankfully, even if the half-orc had more questions, he kept them to himself for the time being, and followed behind me obediently. Perhaps sensing urgency and silence were key. Or perhaps lacking the strength or presence of mind to have any questions to ask. That was a worrying thought, and I cast another glance over my shoulder to check on him. He gave me a sheepish grin and a little wave of his big hand. Alright for the time being then, I supposed, ignoring the little flutter in my chest at his smile.

We reached the upper levels a few minutes later, above ground and built to seemingly grow up into the sky out of the mountainside itself. Filled with windows to pour the bright winter sun through. And enchanted to have more space on the inside than it would appear to have by the outside, though its actual physical size was certainly no small measure. I almost sighed with relief. The tallest and largest towers had been quartered off for private use by the Royal family, and thus were off limits to guests and other outsiders. There would be less people wandering the halls up here; most of my relatives should be in the castle below going about their daily responsibilities. My nieces and nephews would be with their tutors, and Grier and Nikostratus would be handling affairs of state. It was possible there might be a servant or two finishing up tidying the rooms from the morning, I reasoned. But for the most part that would have already been managed after the goblin King had finally been roused for the day. Likely no more than an hour or so before our arrival. My goblin brother-in-law was perhaps the farthest thing from a morning person possible, preferring to rise no earlier than noon if allowed, despite the fact that his husband was usually up at dawn every day. Being early risers was a trait my brothers and I all shared. But I was thankful that my timing was perfect for having returned at just the right time to have skirted running into either of the monarchs of this castle.

The upper floors also had the added advantage of being designed with human comfort in mind. It had taken less than a year for the goblins to realize that their new human King was much taller than any of them, and having door frames and handles set to goblin height was painfully uncomfortable for him (not that he would ever complain of course). They had adjusted many of the lower levels to be more accessible by both races in light of this (though still heavily favoring the smaller goblins). But our private quarters were almost a full foot taller than any of the others, with taller and wider doors, and handles set at almost waist level. The bottoms of the windows came to at least our hips as well, and the ceilings were at least 8 or more feet high. Certainly it was a relief to a stiff back to be able to come here at the end of a long day reaching for things closer to our knees than our hips and finally be able to straighten and relax our spines. I resisted the urge to stretch mine, as I usually did once I reached the top step, and settled with checking over my shoulder to see if Erramun had made it up the last flight of stairs.

He had, though sweat had broken across his brow, and his big eyes looked quite drained and tired. I jerked my head down the hall as he slowly raised his gaze to mine, panting lightly.

“Almost there.” I assured him. “Just down this hall.”

He managed a small grin, affirmative but tired, and nodded. I hoped he could hold out for the last few yards. I didn’t fancy trying to drag him the rest of the way to my chambers. I gestured for him to follow me, and turned to lead again. I had already started to relax, feeling a small, smug sense of accomplishment at having managed to sneak an orc of all things undetected through the castle.

So I nearly squeaked with surprise when we rounded the corner to find the door to my room unexpectedly ajar. And through it, I could just make out the shoulders of an all too familiar frame.

I quickly scrambled backwards, and found myself running into Erramun’s larger form. I didn’t have time to care about my body bumping awkwardly into his. I spun, placing both hands on his chest and giving him an urgent shrug. I thanked whatever god was listening that he responded effectively and without a word. Letting me half-push, half-steer him a few feet back down the hallway, though his eyes widened and his face became a mask of confusion as I did. A cold chill washed down my spine as I heard the familiar click of fine black boots on the tiled floor behind us. Then the creak of my door followed by the soft thunk as he pulled it closed behind him. But as we rounded the corner, I heard a soft feminine hum coming from the opposite direction, and my blood ran cold as well. I yanked the half-orc to a stop, nearly knocking him off balance in the process, spinning and searching the hall frantically. Knowing there would be no way to skirt both parties without detection and searching for the nearest hiding spot. I saw only one choice, short of throwing us both out the window, and decided quickly to utilize it.

I shoved Erramun into a small curtained alcove right at the bend of the rounded hall unceremoniously, and popped in right after. Settling the curtain back into place behind me. It was a tight fit with the big orc, and his shoulders shuffled aside the contents of the cupboard with a soft scuffle. But I found if I pressed my shoulders into his broad chest, I could just manage to keep myself from brushing against the covering curtain and my toes from popping out the bottom. I deftly caught the handle of a displaced broom as it started to topple, righting it and laying it lightly against the wall beside us before it’s fall would alert the pair in the hallway beyond. Then I strained my ears and listened to the fast approaching click of boots as well as the soft hum from the opposite direction.

“Ah, cara Hausa, I hope you are well,” came my brother’s voice in goblinese, and my spine stiffened at the sound nervously, “Have you seen the Princess of late?” I heard him ask after a brief exchange of formalities. “She is not in her rooms.”

“I am sorry, My King,” Came the reply, and I recognized the old head housekeeper Hausa’s distinctive, airy voice, “I have not seen her today, though I believe her Ladies went to town... Should I send the servants to search for her?”

“That won’t be necessary,” He replied, his voice its usual stiff and formal tone, “I am sure she will turn up soon. Thank you, cara Hausa.”

Their voices and footsteps slowly faded back towards the stairwell, and I allowed myself to breathe a sigh of relief I had withheld before. Allowing me a moment to bring myself back up to speed and assess our situation. I turned around to apologize to Erramun for his decidedly rough treatment... and found myself perfectly planted against his bare chest.

My heart leaped, and my eyes widened by a hair. I couldn��t help craning my neck back to look up at him (it was either that or stare at his well defined pectoral muscles), and found his emerald eyes waiting for me. It was then that I realized, somewhere amid the frantic shuffle, I had become quite neatly tucked against him in the cramped space. His free arm was wrapped around my waist, his broad shoulders hunched around me to better fit us both into the tiny alcove. One of my hands rested lightly on his arm, as if ready to pull him about again if needed, and the other hovered barely a hair away from his bare sternum. I felt a tightness in my chest I couldn’t remember having been there before, and froze in place. Trapped in those vibrant emerald eyes…

After a few skittering beats of my heart, I felt my brain quickly flood back into my skull. My eyes widened a hair more, and I shoved myself away from him. Tangling myself in the curtain behind me and upsetting the cleaning supplies behind him in the process. Nearly falling out into the hallway beyond as he nearly fell over into the wash bucket. I quickly righted myself, pushing the curtain to the side and noisily clearing my throat.

“Ah… S-sorry about that…” I mumbled, swallowing hard as my face flushed dark. I saw him nod slowly out the corner of my eye, otherwise silent as he righted himself. It took me a decidedly long time to remember what we had been doing before that moment. I turned, wrapping my arms about myself. “...This way.”

I skittered down the hall, glancing nervously about. As if my brother might still pop out from any corner. But the final stretch was empty, and I nearly sighed with relief as I shoved open the door to my rooms and quickly ushered Erramun inside. Trying not to remember how wonderfully warm his large arm had felt wrapped around my waist. And strong too, nearly as firm as stone. I quickly shook my head, latching the door behind me and forcing my thoughts to the issue at hand. Well, the bigger issue rather; that I now had successfully smuggled in a bloody and dirty orc into my private quarters.

My chambers had three rooms. The door from the hallway led to a sitting area, with a large fireplace and plush purple couches. The walls were lined with shelves, which were stuffed full of books, tomes, and scrolls. Most of which depicted the many adventures I longed to partake in. Others were atlases, or maps of the surrounding regions. A few were filled with ancient, unsolved mysteries or legends. Some had cultural histories, or descriptions of fantastical creatures and races. On the largest flat wall, I had tacked up an inked map of the world Grier and Niko had gifted me long ago. It was intricately detailed and enchanted so that the squiggly lines denoting the ocean rippled and the mountainous regions had swirly clouds shifting over their peaks. It also looked three dimensional, though it was in fact flat, and I had poked colorful pins and bobbles into the places I most wanted to visit. My desk was set beneath it, with stacks of papers and notes regarding each pin or region as well as small decorative boxes filled with things I had found exploring the castle and woods surrounding it. There was also a small table set before the couches, and a few chests filled with whatever I hadn’t been able to fit elsewhere. Sextants, small carvings, handmade memorabilia from far off lands my brothers and other nobles had gifted me. A few stuck out from the edges of the elegant chests, spilling like treasure onto the floor below.

Beyond the sitting room was my bed chamber, which had little aside from the large bed with thick velvet curtains and a big armoire stuffed to bursting with my clothes. There was also a vanity table, where I kept brushes and perfumes, gems and jewels, and other such things that were mostly left to gather dust. There was also a window seat, surrounded by piles of books I was currently working my way through, and a small balcony where I kept various potted plants. Many were also from far off lands carefully brought for my collection, though I knew my brother kept a far more extensive garden in the glass domed balcony above his chambers.

The final room was the smallest of the three, and contained a single deep pool with a small, crystal encrusted waterfall. It had a small alcove of mirrors set before a raised platform by the door to the bedroom, and a small stone table carved into the wall with a few brushes and other such personal care items. I had filled most of that room with potted plants as well, as sunlight filtered in through stained glass over the partially steepled ceiling. I used to imagine it as a magical lagoon when I was younger, though it had much more practical uses for me now.

I rested my forehead against the door for a moment with relief. Finally feeling a little calmer now that the worst was behind us. When I turned, I found the half-orc looking about curiously. His eyes wide and filled with wonder. I wasn’t sure why. There was nothing particularly special about my rooms. They were smaller than the other members of the family, mostly because I only lived here for part of the year. And also because I rarely spent more than a rainy afternoon in them.

“Sit down,” I ordered him, removing my cloak from my shoulders and draping over the back of the couch, “Let’s see if we can get your wound properly cleaned before infection sets in.”

“Who were they?” He asked as he slowly settled into the indicated seat; an old ottoman at the back of one couch.

“Who was who?” I asked absentmindedly, shuffling some things around in a brief attempt to clean the clutter. I gave up after another moment, simply kicking it all off to the side and gathering up a shallow porcelain basin from on top of one of the chests.

“The people, out there,” He nodded to the door and the hallway beyond, “They spoke funny. It sounded like Tlaloc, but it was all wrong.”

I hesitated, debating whether or not to tell him the truth for a moment. “They were speaking goblinese. The woman was Hausa, the head housekeeper for the Royal family.” I explained finally, “... The man was King Nikostratus…. What’s tlaloc?” I asked, quickly looking to change the subject.

Erramun chewed on his lip for a moment. “Eh? Oh… That’s what orcs speak.” I felt his eyes following me as I gathered some linens into the basin next. “... You said King Nicktosansus?”

I couldn’t suppress a small giggle. “Nikostratus.” I corrected him, collecting a pitcher of water in my free hand as I balanced the basin on my opposite hip.

He grunted, shaking his head. “Why do all the Kings here have such big names?” He grumbled. “King Vale-whatsits, King Nitostrawsus.”

“King Valerianus and King Nikostratus.” I corrected him good naturedly. “And that’s probably because they are brothers, I would think.” I carefully set the basin on the seat beside him, then went over to hoist a small side table and carry over. “Big long names are a bit of a tradition in the family.”

“Hmmm, seems silly.” He returned. “By the time I finish saying their names and titles, I could have said much more important things.”

I almost laughed. “You sound like Grier.”

“Grier?” He asked curiously.

I kicked myself internally for the slip, pursing my lips slightly as I set the table beside him and moved the basin to its top. “... King Grier, I should say.” I glanced at him out the corner of my eye. “That’s King Nikostratus’ husband. The goblin King.”

“So he is the goblin Princess’ father?” His voice reflected his piqued interest with a lighter tone. “I thought King Valer-whatsits might be her father, but he’s not a goblin, and they say he is her brother.”

I hesitated again, pouring some water into the basin and dropping one of the linens in. Exactly how much should I share? At what point would he figure it out?

“Ah… it’s… complicated.” I offered finally, ringing out the cloth distractedly. “But their father is dead.” I thumbed the cloth for a moment. “Long dead. It's just the three of them now.”

Erramun snorted, shaking his head. “Three Kings? There are too many Kings!” He complained. “Just tell me which one I need to challenge for the Princess.”

My head snapped over to him in surprise. “Challenge??”

He nodded eagerly, and the light in his eyes spreading from a broad smile over his lips. “Yes! After I convince her to marry me, I must defeat her father in combat to win the Princess. Though I suppose one of these Kings will have to do.” He leaned back, seeming to mull that over. “I think a goblin would be easiest to best, but there would be no real challenge in it.”

Anger flared up in me. “What makes you think you can just win her?” I snapped. “Is the Princess just some trophy to you??”

Now it was his turn to look surprised. “That is just the way of things.” He argued. “A man finds his partner, then has to prove he would be a good husband. The best way to do that is to defeat their father in combat.” He nodded assuredly. “That way they both know he is strong enough to-”

“That sounds stupid.” I cut him off crossly, putting my hands on my hips and scowling at him.

He frowned back at me, his heavy brow scrunching together. “That is the way of things!”

“For orcs, maybe!” I shot back. “But you can’t just carry off whomever you like! Just muscle your way into a marriage and force someone’s hand!”

That gave him pause, and he looked me up and down. We were almost perfectly eye level with him sitting. I watched him chew his lip again, seeming to think it over quietly.

“... This is not how goblins do it?”

I scoffed again. “Absolutely not!” I snapped. “Nor humans!”

He fell silent again. And I glared at him for a long, angry moment before tossing up my hands with a frustrated tch. I stomped over to another chest, kicking it open and digging through it for a moment.

“... How do I win the goblin Princess then?” He asked after a little while.

I shot him a scalding look over my shoulder. “You don’t. The Princess is not for sale, nor for winning. She doesn’t want to marry anyone. Ever. Period. End of discussion.” I slammed the chest shut, having not found what I was looking for yet, and stomped past him over to the next. “So after I wrap up your stupid cut, you’d best shove off. Agreed?”

I was stopped short as his big hand came out. Catching my arm and stilling me. I was so surprised, my eyebrows flew up, and I looked at him with wide eyes. His face was soft, recalcitrant. He chewed on his thick bottom lip for another moment before finally looking up at me with those dazzling emerald eyes.

“I am sorry, Gana,” He told me, his thick voice heavier with his sullen apology, “I did not mean to upset you…” He grunted, giving my arm a gentle tug. Pulling me a step closer to him before I had fully realized what he was doing. “If this was an orc, I would better know what to do. I could take them hunting with me, or maybe cook a beast I had killed myself.” I looked down at him, his broad chin craned up slightly to keep our eyes locked. “I do not know how to impress a King, or a Princess.” He scoffed slightly, finally releasing my arm and looking away. “I have not even met her yet and I have already failed.”

I rubbed at my arm where his hand had been, frozen in place with my confusion. “... It doesn’t matter.” I told him, a bit bitterly. “Like I said… The Princess isn’t interested in getting married.”

I turned and walked more quietly over to the chests. Pulling it open more carefully and digging through its contents. The silence stretched for a long, strained moment. I pulled out a few glass jars of healing balm, laying them on the floor by my knees as I put the other things back into place.

“.... What is she interested in, then?”

I couldn’t suppress a soft laugh, shaking my head. “So now you want to know more about her?” I scoffed, standing with my bounty and making my way back over. “Maybe that was something you should have thought of before you decided to marry her?”

He shrugged his big green shoulders noncommittally, then winced as it stretched his wound. “I mean, I didn’t think it was important…”

I raised a brow at him, dropping the supplies on the bench beside him. “It’s not important to know anything about the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with?”

He frowned, his thick lip wobbling about his small tusks as he seemed to chew that over. “I never thought of it like that…”

“How did you think of it then?” I asked, moving over to the basin once more. “Did you think you would see her for the first time and just… fall in love?”

Erramun fell silent, his brow furrowing deeply again. I soaked the cloth, wringing it out briefly before turning to him. I was surprised to find him still quiet, obviously lost in thought. I cocked one hip to the side, looking him up and down. His emerald green eyes glanced over at my movement.

“Don’t think too hard,” I advised, “You’ll make smoke come out of your ears.”

The big fellow gave a grunt that heaved the entirety of his torso up and down, then shook his head. I watched him for another moment, then glanced down at the wet cloth in my hands. Then back at him. My entire face starting to grow hot. After another tense moment, I tossed the cloth back into the basin.

“It’s no use, you’re filthy.” I told him irritatedly.

He cocked one large bushy brow up. “Does this bother you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Besides the fact that you stink, I mean that one measly little cloth is not going to be enough to clean all…” I hesitated, my hand halfway through gesturing over his muscular torso. I cleared my throat. “... That…”

Erramun gave me a dopey grin, leaning on his palms at the edge of his seat. “Perhaps I am too much a challenge for you then?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again, pretending my cheeks weren’t flushing dark at his words. I shook my head and placed my hands on my hips. Scowling at him.

“You’ll have to bathe.” I jerked my head to the back room. “You know how to I hope?”

He gave a growl, then jerked himself clumsily to his feet. Forcing me to stagger back a step or two to avoid bumping into him as he did. I quickly rebalanced myself, letting my scowl deepen as I had to tilt my head back to look up at him now.

“I think I can manage.” He mused, then glanced over at the door.

“Good.” I grumbled, crossing my arms and looking off to the side to avoid staring at his broad chest again. “You do that. I’ll see if I can find you something to wear.”

“Something to wear?” He echoed, surprised.

“Definitely part parrot.” I snipped at him. “Yes, fool orc. Something to wear. Your skirt is filthy, and you stand out like a sore thumb as you are.”

He seemed to consider this, rubbing his furs between a thumb and finger. “And that would be a bad thing, yes? ... Your men do not wear their skins as this?”

I shook my head. “No. But,” I paused, looking him over, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to find anything big enough…” I slipped past him, walking over to the door to the bathing rooms and sliding it open. “I don’t suppose you can avoid drowning for now while I go look for something?”

His grin returned, and I stiffened slightly at the sight of it. “I think I can manage.” He replied again. Then tilted his head to the side. “... Will you be long?”

It took me longer than I cared to admit to find my breath again. The way he asked… made it sound almost hopeful. I swallowed the dryness from my throat, shrugging my shoulders.

“I make no promises.” I returned, as airy as I could manage, and he chuckled. Sluggishly striding over and pausing at the opposite side of the door. I saw him glance in briefly, before returning his attention to me.

“I will wait for you then, Gana. As long as you need.”

I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding as he slipped past me into the rooms. I intended to turn and head back out to scour the Royal quarters for clothes large enough to fit an orc. But couldn’t help lingering an extra moment as I watched him unfasten the strap to his pauldron. He rubbed at his wounded side as he dropped the scanty armor onto the stone floor, then glanced over his shoulder at me. I quickly pretended I had merely been double checking the towel situation by the door. Turning to make my way back out when his voice came once more and gave me pause.

“... When you return, perhaps we can speak more about what the Princess is like?”

The sliding door made a satisfying snap as I forcibly shut it behind me.

UPDATE: Part Four HERE

#Burdened by the Stars #slow burn #frenemies #angst #monster romance #regency romance #monster x human #monster lover #monster boyfriend #orc #half-orc #orc lover #orc boyfriend #orc x human #terato #exophilia

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howldean · 4 years ago

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stfu just say you're a snowflake. they them isn't singular and your "identity" labels aren't even real, like seriously you're gay or straight or a girl a boy or a tranny stop lying to yourself and see a fucking therapist you dumb faggot

Hello there, anon!

See, usually, I’d simply discard your message and laugh about how pathetic you are to my friends over discord (some can confirm that I’m doing this there too <3) but fuck it! I’m feeling combative tonight and I’m procrastinating, so I might as well waste my time making you feel special like a snowflake

Let’s break this down in order of appearance:

1. Pronouns!

Singular they IS in fact proper grammatically. Singular they is used for some nonbinary individuals, *like myself* as well as in context to an unknown person (i.e. someone left their phone here, if anyone saw who they were, please give it to them)

(official Merriam-Webster dictionary def)

so yeah, fuck off about that <3

2. Identity

I... *inhales* YOU DON’T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND LABELS FOR THEM TO BE VALID! ADDITIONALLY you say it’s boy/girl/trans-spec but then what about intersex people? Intersex individuals have biological factors that aren’t catergorized as male or female sexes. (XXY, XXX, XXYY chromosome anomalies, as well as hormone imbalances, and discrepancies in genital development) //for the lovely humans reading this, please look into intersex youth rights and protections, as some can undergo forced genital mutilation surgeries at a young age to “better align” with M/F sexes. InterACT is a great advocacy resource btw//

✨Biological sex isn’t binary either✨

Also, fun fact! Attempting to invalidate my identity isn’t going to change anything. Why?

This is the happiest I’ve ever been about who I am

Gender and sexuality are fluid, and one packet of gelatin isn’t going to harden the Thames

my partners and I will happily engage in a swordfight with you and your partner (if one is present) mind you, there’s three of us and at most two of you, and two of my team are skilled with the blade. And we’re all highly motivated

dude, I’m just as confused as you are, I’m just vibing with what’s comfortable

oh... and also?

That shit’s fucking legal. Feel free to look at my State ID, my gender is legally marked ‘X’

soooooo yeah have fun with that

3. Lying to myself

Honey, of the pair of us, I’m the one that’s speaking publicly. Did I have to post this? Nope. Am I doing it anyway? Yep.

I lie to myself about a lot of things, this ain’t one of them, babe.

4. Therapy

I am actually seeing a therapist! She’s awesome, and I’ve been going for about a month and a half now. She specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ youth, and has a really compatible mindset with how I process trauma and things that I’ve held onto.

Moral of the story, therapy is absolutely amazing, especially with someone that can understand you. 11/10 would recommend.

Thanks for the advice there, though.

5. Dumb f*ggot

*rubs my grubby lil hands together with enough force to generate static electricity*

Welcome to tonight’s Everything Was Fine But You Just Fucked Around... Time To Find Out segment

Intelligence is entirely circumstantial, so honestly not sure how to reply to that. But if I’m dumb, and you’re the one that doesn’t comprehend basic usage of common words and phrases... what does that make you?

As for your tasteless and unoriginal phrasing, all I can say is I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in you. There are SO MANY big and beautiful monsterous phrases for you to call me! Hell, make your own.

You might actively GAIN respect from me for some. SO MANY OPTIONS. There’s a whole bank of potential for you, I mean Niobium? The element for one of my names, it’s a transition metal you’ve got so many fucking choices there, and each is as epically transphobic as you could possibly dream of. Talk shit about bees, idk. Hell, call me a cuckolding bleach-drenched shitstain!

Finally, to my followers and mutuals

Hey loves! Sorry you had to read all of that, people suck, huh? But hey, I was honestly looking for a good chance to word-vomit about a couple things, so this worked out nicely. I’m fine. This genuinely had me laughing and giggling at the sheer dumbassery exhibited by that anon! Btw, drink some water for me! If you want to show me support, or make me feel better, get a good night’s rest soon, or send me opossum photos. If a Pity Party means I get opossums, then I might pretend like these words affected me in any way that didn’t make me cackle maniacally

P.S.

I’m gonna have to go digging through my archive for a lil post because ummm

Sorry anon, I really am, because JJ is going to fucking murder you, Ash is going to damn you to hell, and every single one of my mutuals will lunge to harm you in their own special lil ways.

And I can’t save you from that ❤️

tl;dr singular they exists, attacking my identity won’t change that - also I can fence, and I’m legally nonbinary, intersex people deserve love, I’m genuinely happy with who I am, THERAPY IS FUCKING WONDERFUL, anon is an unimaginative doofus, and all of my followers and mutuals deserve the world... and the anon fucked with the wrong people

#baby's first anon hate?#tw homophobia #tw transphobia #answering anons #tw slurs #fuck around and find out

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fatoujallovv · 4 years ago

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fanfiction writer appreciation: skamverse edition

thank you @yasminaselamrani for starting this lil tag 🥺 i read and write elu so that’s what you’re in for here but i’m sending a kiss on the forehead to any writer or reader of anything for being the best 🥺💛

if you’re a writer:

a fic that you’re really proud of:

i know i’m sitting here while i haven’t even finished the fic but close to you just makes me really happy 🥺 it’s obviously not oscar winning movie adaptation worthy in the slightest but i think it’s turned out to be a really fun story and i’ve enjoyed writing it and messing around with social media 🤪

a fic that you were nervous to post:

my lil mental health oneshots rotten work and not to me, not if it’s you (incredibly original titles i know skfjfj) were literally . an excuse for a cathartic feelings dump via my emotional support projection character monsieur lucas lallemant and i felt like i was being to dramatic or insensitive or portraying things badly (even though it was literally my own experiences adskljg idk don’t ask what i was thinking) or being too personal so i was kind of nervous 🥺 but i got a lovely response and being able to share them was really healing for me so i’m so glad i did it 🥺

a fic you wished got more hits/kudos/comments:

i’m super happy with every bit of response i’ve gotten from my writing 🥺 i love all of my comments so so much and all i want to use this space for is to say thank you guys for being the best 🥺

one of your favorite tropes to write:

i think it’s obvious that it’s childhood best friends because both of my chaptered fics have been that sjdjfjsj but i also love myself some fake dating hence my current best friends fake dating au akdjfj

another ship that you don’t write but you’d like to write:

i wish i could write kieutou but i struggle to relate to kieu my’s perspective to be able to write her from an honest and accurate place bc as much as i adore her she is so so different from me and i feel like i can’t get in her head 🤧🤧

one of your abandoned wip you never wrote but wish you did:

i only ever abandoned one thing and it was gonna be a long oneshot where they met in the laundry room of their dorm and then dumbassery ensued and it was gonna be very silly but then i forgot about it so akdjfj mayhaps i should return to her this summer if i have the time

another writer you would love to collaborate with:

@luxandobscurus @lucasotteli and i have literally. planned to collab before and just never made it happen .... besties let’s get on that summer 2021

i would LOVE to do some sort of sm au or something with a cool unique format with miss @vexedtonightmares the queen of sm and galaxy brain concepts!!!!! i would basically be dead weight but i would be like beyond honored to assist her in making magic with her big beautiful brain

if you’re a reader:

a fic (or more) that you love to reread:

i looooove rereading if i can recognize real by @tawmlinsun (i’m linking part two i think oops) i have said it before but it gives me butterflies every time it is the peeeeerfect lil first kiss/getting together fic omg omg

the reread value of all mixed up by @lucasotteli and online love by @vexedtonightmares !!!!! unmatched !!!!! social media au supremacy lichrally go tos when i need a Laff

tag an author you always love reading:

@clairdelalune i know ur movin away from the fandom queen so soz to bring u into this but everything you’ve ever written makes me happy 🥺🥺 ur style and vibes are so . good and heartwarming

@lumierelovers is just an absolutely gorgeous writer and everything she touches is magical 🥺

recommend a story to your followers:

i will recommend lots 😌 (vaguely in order of length from like 1k to like 100k+)

when you kill the lights (and kiss my eyes) by @blanxkey (zaira i frickin miss u pls write more pure poetry 🤧)

thoughts of you aren’t enough by cgsf on ao3 (i think they might be on tumblr but it didn’t let me tag 😔)

open your heart (and let me know you want me here) by @demaury

save us by @luxandobscurus

last dance by @vexedtonightmares (i linked the chap 2 post bc it has the ao3 link but 😌)

maybe it starts now by @lepetitepeach (first part of the series is linked on ao3 bc i don’t think there’s a ficpost)

tag an author you discovered recently:

@fireflysxx is kinda new to writing and i’m so proud of herrrrrr 🤧🤧🤧 i would like to direct your attention to the fic she wrote for me about eliott basically being grumpy lucas’s personal shopper for the day akdjdh: new style

spread the love!

tag someone who inspires you to write:

@yasminaselamrani you literally never stop like i am so impressed you just always have new stories to tell i admire that so much even if i don’t read wtfock i’m sorry 🤧🤧🤧

tag someone who you’ve admired forever:

i don’t want to bother people and i feel like many of the people i’ve had longstanding Big Admiration for i already tagged or isn’t really here anymore 🥺 so just like . everyone i’ve mentioned i admire so much? that’s cheating but idc

tag your writing support:

@luxandobscurus and @lucasotteli the only ones who care as much about elu in 2021 as me and i don’t feel guilty making them help me with my fics KAJDJDJD and @fireflysxx my biggest cheerleader and self proclaimed number one fan you’re always there wanting to see what i’ve made and it’s so encouraging 🥺💛 also @thenerd10 bc u always leave me the sweetest comments EVER and you literally singlehandedly make posting worth it 🤧🤧💛💓💗💓

ok i’m tagging everyone i mentioned 🥺 and i would tag more people but i haven’t seen a lot of my writer friends around in a while and i don’t want to be bothering anyone so please just do this if you see it and want to!!!

#tag game #long post #i feel like i did a bad job of this tag ajdjfjs

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 5 years ago

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pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned.

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why.

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases.

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one.

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time.

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly.

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #can you feel me going through 800 different emotions in the course of writing this #fucking hell #he absolutely kills me i love him so much #would do ANYTHING for him #if you listen v closely you can hear the soft sound of me grabbing tissues #god i was just rewatching some of his events and i just #THE SHEER WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE HOW IT WASHES OVER YOU WHILE READING #IM SHAKING AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like leo is just one of those routes where its like 'my life was before and after this moment'#otome is honestly destroying my standards OTL #he just makes me feel So Much my coherence disappears #brain cells???? don't know her only Leo tiddy #in conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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drunklander · 5 years ago

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 508

I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.

At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?

But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.

I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.

“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.

“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.

I already want to fastforward.

Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.

Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.

Hate.

HAAAAATE.

Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?

It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*

Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.

For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.

At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.

Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.

Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.

I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.

Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.

And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.

Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.

Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.

LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.

Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.

*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.

Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.

Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.

GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.

OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!

So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?

Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.

Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.

John Bell is really good in this episode.

Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.

Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.

Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.

That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.

Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.

Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!

Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?

“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.

HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.

Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.

My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?

Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.

Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.

Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.

Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?

Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.

Also, can we please have more Adso?

SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!

Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.

So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.

NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.

Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.

Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x08 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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poledancingsquid · 5 years ago

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Wicked Game Fanmix

Look I said I’d make this in 2018 and then life was A LOT but I finally finished it today and frankly it’s still my absolute favourite BFU fic.

If you haven’t read Wicked Game go read it ( and send your adoring praise to @mephsation ) If you’re swerving spoilers do NOT read the rest of this yet bc boy am I about the quote the shit out of my favourite fic and also I’ve written a brief summary of every chapter in case people have forgotten.

If you don’t want to read my reasoning and just want the songs here’s a Spotify playlist

So Chapter one: Shane’s just joined the precinct, when Ryan works out the scene they’re at was by a copycat rather than the Lover Shane responds by just saying “You’re Brilliant.”

We’re gonna be friends- The White Stripes, it’s the beginning of Ryan impressing Shane and they’re already conversing easily, honestly this is the chapter I struggled to find a song for the most.

Chapter two: This is where we meet Jess for the first time and find out about her and Shane’s relationship. It’s also when Ryan establishes that the copycat is shorter than the killer so the song I picked was

Looking up- Paramore, granted this is entirely down to the first lyrics being “Things are looking up oh finally” but it’s a banger anyway

Chapter three: This is when Ryan gets the first email. Ryan also nearly gets stabbed and Shane shoots a suspect, the copycat writes ‘he’s not good enough for you’ in blood.

Chic- Leadley primarily for “We could last forever she could last all week” Jess is so sure she’s better suited to Shane than Ryan is.

Chapter four: The second email arrives, explaining that the Lover has killed a man for the first time, the man looks like Ryan.

One More Murder- Better Than Ezra “One more murder in this town don’t mean a thing” which is what Ryan tries to convince himself after a lookalike is murdered.

Chapter five: This is where Ryan first realises he has a crush on Shane, it’s also the chapter with the press conference where the Lover’s sexuality is raised and when Shane admits he’s questioning is sexuality sending Ryan into a slight spiral based on his fear of being outed.

Would you be so Kind?- Dodie I’m not sure who’s POV I think this applies to more at this point.

Chapter six: This is the chapter where Ryan apologises to Shane for his reaction to him coming out, it is also the chapter where an LAPD officer who is the exact same race as Ryan and looks like him is killed, Ryan throws up.

Fear and Loathing- Marina and the Diamonds This is mostly in relation to Ryan’s fears about coming about though I suppose could also be applied to the whole serial killer killing people who are very similar to him thing.

Chapter seven: This is when Ryan and Shane go on their Not! Date that is definitely a date, it ends in their first kiss and Shane blowing him on the couch “Please don’t make me regret this”.

Brilliant Mind- Furniture throughout the fic Shane is constantly fascinated by how ‘brilliant’ Ryan is and this chapter epitomises that. “ You must be out of your brilliant mind”

Chapter eight: Ryan tells Shane about the homophobia he’s experienced in the past, Jess finds out they spent the night together “woke in an empty bed aching for a presence he has no business missing”. Shane is helping a friend clean their apartment so he goes to meet Jess at a bar and gets spiked.

Far too young to die- Panic! at the disco I went with this song because essentially it’s a recurring theme that Ryan almost dies also the obsessive nature of the verses fit in with Shane’s behaviour “ I've never so adored you, I'm twisting allegories now,I want to complicate you, Don't let me do this to myself”

Chapter nine: This is when Ryan wakes up in the hospital, Shane starts to behave oddly and just says he is working on a theory, he also invites himself over to take care of Ryan, Ryan discovers the cleaning supplies in a publi bin. The chapter ends with Shane revealing that Jess is the copycat and the bombshell of “Schmidtt thinks I’m the lover”

If I lose it- Charlie Simpson A little because of the medical stuff at the start of the Chapter a lot because Shane seems so scared for Ryan and ultimately the uncertaintly at the end of the chapter “ I can't tell you what will happen, To us as the days passed, Please just stay with me.”

Chapter ten: Shane plays the recording of Jess, Ryan plans to spend a night with Jess despite everyone telling him not to. Shane begs Ryan not to be scared of him “no more innocents” Jess texts him that she is going to kill someone if he doesn’t come to her immediately, he locked both their guns in the safe so goes unarmed.

Pressure- Paramore this is frankly one of the most stressful chapters to read because Ryan commits dumbassery after dumbassery and I think this embodies that intense STRESS feeling very well

Chapter eleven:Jess is arrested, Shane almost shoots her in full view of the bodycam, Ryan gets shot and Shane is going on trial to ensure Jess pleads guilty.

Coming Down- Halsey This is where Ryan starts to see a possible darker side to Shane “I found the Devil, I found him in a lover, And his lips like tangerine, In his color coded speak”

Chapter twelve: This is when it’s officially revealed that Shane’s a murderer, he stands by no innocents killing Leo Tayler with an axe after he caused the deaths of his children.

Monster- Paramore “ You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water We started drowning, not like we'd sink any further” this is the point at which Ryan’s conscience is starting to slip (even if it’s giving Shane more of one)

Chapter thirteen: With no more murders they are eventually taken of the Lover case Jess’s trial is over quickly and she pleads guilty, Shane’s trial drags on, Ryan finds out he killed a criminal in one of his first weeks on duty, he’s found not guilty, Ryan sees Shane at the firing range and says that he wants Leo to be dead, he gets home from work to find Shane in his LAPD uniform. The head is delivered to Ryan

Crazy=Genius- Panic! at the Disco, this is a bit of a summary of Shane’s character throughout honestly but also this really feels like the turning point of no return, Shane would do anything for Ryan including murder, and it’s through his ‘genius’ he was found not guilty.

Chapter fourteen: As they investigate Leo Taylor’s murder Ryan begins to suspect Shane, this is where he quizzes Shane, discovers a knife in his home that isn’t his, later whilst investigating the deaths of sex wokers Ryan runs into a building without back up, Shane shoots Douglas and Ryan basically asks him to kill Murray

One Little Lie- Simple Creatures because at this point Ryan basically knows Shane is a murderer he just gets very good at lying to himself “I tell myself one little lie and the pain don’t phase me”

Chapter fifteen: So basically whilst fucking Shane Ryan thanks him for killing Douglas and then he bites him until it draws blood because Shane asked him to/ They manage to book a holiday eventualy, Ryan finds out Shane has a ssecond phone and saves the number. They go literally everywhere Ryan loves: Knotts Berry Farm, A Lakers Game, Disneyland there’s a car crash and Ryan stops to save the victims. Shane admits he wouldn’t have stopped. When they’re due to return to work Shane leaves early. When Ryan gets to work there’s a rung on his desk and email from Shane. He tries to call him on both phones “ I would’ve said yes”

Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson look when I started this playlist this was the only song I was certain was fitting for this particular part of the story because in his own way Shane is trying to protect Ryan by leaving. “ And I want you to know, You couldn't have loved me better, But I want you to move on, So I'm already gone”

Chapter sixteen: Shane watched him for ten years. Ryan remarries after moving to Chicago although he still wears Shane’s ring around his neck. Another killer goes after him. Shane finds out and it culminates in his shooting Weber. Ryan instantly knows it’s Shane and makes a come hither motion.

I felt younger when we met- Waterparks Ryan has had the guilt of hiding what he knows about Shane for a decade, he still cares about him but it kills him inside “ Do you see, You're the reason I can't sleep?, Lose it where your head should be”

Chapter seventeen:Ryan and Shane meet in a bar, Shane tells him the names of everybody he killed, they go home together after Ryan tries and fails ot arrest him, Shane chokes him until he’s either unconscious or dead and turns himself in the next day

Pompeii- Bastille This chapter is straight up just dark nostalgia (which frankly you can inject into my veins) “And if you close your eyes, Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all” In the dark between my sheets

#Wicked Game #buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed unclean #fic #fanmix #shyan #shanexryan #shane x ryan #skeptic believer

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stella-monstrum · 4 years ago

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Bobby Roe’s ‘Underestimated Gem’, “The Houses October Built”; [1hr 31mins, Rated R] (2014)

Admittedly, there is a lot to unpack in this review.

I found myself at the relatable point of endless scrolling through horror films on streaming apps, hoping to find something that really challenged and rattled my thinking afterwards. Obviously, film taste is different for everyone, and I am CERTAINLY way too easy to scare. But this wasn’t a film made to elicit jumps—or screams for that matter.

I went into this viewing with a couple expectations. First of all, Hulu’s trailer for the movie was enough to grab my interest by itself. The clips of this group of friends exploring haunted horror attractions and the brief introduction to the eerie actors along with it pulled me in.

[Anecdote; Around the same time that the film came out, I’d gone to my first haunted house. I was separated from my group, and thrown into a “butcher shed,” and proceeded to have the living shit scared out of me. One of the actors knew that their mates had gone too far and pretty much came in to save the day. Afterwards, I thought it was the coolest thing and started to laugh at my own fear—which plays massively to the appeal to watch.]

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Before I go into the review...

I will say that the thriller theme to this film made me squirm and made it difficult to watch all the way through. So if you’re squeamish, have trauma-like responses, or have epilepsy, proceed with caution or skip this one altogether.

This film also contains a bunch of NSFW themes, torture, and graphic images (which basically delivers its main purpose, I guess).

(Written by Stella. Edited by Jacob J )

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The Cast:

Brandy Schaeffer as Brandy

Zach Andrews as Zach

Bobby Roe as Bobby

Mikey Roe as Michael (aka Mikey)

Jeff Larson as Jeff

The casting is fairly straightforward, with the actors playing overly exaggerated versions of themselves. Though technically under the lead of director Bobby Roe, the cast all had a hand in writing the film. Pulling double duty is a feat in itself. (It was unfortunate to find in my research that, after the 2017 sequel, the majority of the cast just dropped off the face of the Earth.)

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Summary:

The five childhood friends from Ohio seek out the thrill of the Halloween season, traveling through the deep south of Texas in an RV. They’re stocked up on junk food, booze, drugs, and pure joy that they’re setting out on this journey. For the six days leading up to Halloween, they visit six attractions in the Lone Star state. (technically)

The team begins at a bar in Tyler, Texas, to celebrate the beginning of their trip. In their wasted stupor (and even while sober throughout the film), they make light and joke about how these “haunted attractions” are tame and as fake as the horror films they strive to represent. (Meta as hell, right?)

With each visit, the attractions grow scarier and freakier. Somehow, they piss off a whole gang of creepy-ass characters. Despite being essentially in the middle of nowhere, the aforementioned creep squad (we’re talking clowns, bloody bunnies, backwoods Vorhees groupies, etc.) stalk and terrorize the traveling quintet. The group moves on toward the ultimate attraction, The Blue Skeleton, which they desperately try to find. This leads them on a mystery hunt through word of mouth (and an online horror attraction forum, to the secret location). They eventually wind up heading towards the deep, dark heart of Louisiana, where The Blue Skeleton exceeds every fear that they wanted in the first place—and ends up being their worst nightmare.

The film also gives a small nod to George Romero, the man who changed the way that zombies were seen in pop culture and films, during their visit to a zombie-themed paintball attraction. On top of that, the creators made the film on a very small budget (allegedly). It was given a brief theatrical release in 2014, but years later became a niche gem with a continuing following amongst horror film fans.

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[Likes & Dislikes]

It was incredibly hard to want to complain, consider how the film left my state of mind after watching. But, ultimately, I had to find something for the sake of this review. So I’ll start with the dislikes first, because it’s so worth saving the best for last in this circumstance.

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[Dislikes]:

1.) The first-person filming: Although capturing themes and moments perfectly to keep suspense, it made me super queasy.

- Now, this nitpick isn’t an end-all film-ruiner. With any first person/found-footage deal, there’s a guarantee to feel the rollercoaster like adventure in your gut. (I recommend having a good bowl of ramen or some ginger tea on hand.)

- The filming style 100% captures and cranks every moment of fear, suspense, and terror. It makes you feel like you’re a part of the team. (Found-footage/first-person filming was the original VR, fight me.)

2.) The full on disrespect that the group shows to the attractions.

First attraction: They find a ladder (that’s conveniently left unsupervised, despite not being for patron use). Mikey decides to climb it and steals a megaphone as well. He causes a scene atop the ticket booth and attempts to get a crowd shot for their film at the Haunt House in Caddo Mills, Texas. This pisses off an entire group of creepy-ass clowns that follow them back to their RV. Living up to his unspoken title of Mister Dumbass, Mikey tries to confront them.

● Second attraction: One of the clowns and a broken porcelain doll actress proceeded to follow the crew to this location in Eureka, Texas. Mikey confronts the “doll” when they find her on the side of the road. She follows onto the bus, screams, then slowly leaves.

● Third Attraction: As the group enters Phobia, located by US Highway 248, they’re told not to film past the point of entry. The camera shuts off. When the camera (one that Bobby set up on the RV) comes back on, we see Mikey trying to hook up with one of the contortionist girls. Afterward, when Zach finds out more information about the acclaimed Blue Skeleton, they get confronted by yet another pissed off clown accusing Mikey of filming when they were told not to.

There’s an entire slew of other incidents that I won’t dive into, but I will say one final con:

3.) Brandy just minds her own business the whole time, yet gets the backlash and crossfire from the boys’ shenanigans and dumbassery.

- Honestly the more she got caught in the middle, the more I felt looming dread.

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[Likes/Loves:]

Amidst the (albeit small) annoyances, there was so much that I loved and enjoyed about this film.

1.) Complete out-of-the-gate blurred lines of the entertainment-yet-fear that we seek out in haunted houses.

● Starting from the opening scenes, there’s VHS like footage of fun and upbeat tours from haunted attractions, which evolves into a slow burn of much much darker and horrible secrets/tragedies from them:

- An employee found hung, mistaken as a prop;

- Houses allegedly hiring murderers and criminals without background checks;

- & Actors going as far as breaking bones (but not killing) to scare patrons.

2.) Continuity that never strayed from the film’s theme and/or purpose.

● Through all six attractions that the crew visit, the actors that they seemingly managed to piss off (looking at the real male hubris issues here) follow and stalk them whilst traveling in the middle of nowhere—even all the way to Louisiana.

● With each haunt, the scare level increases, starting with fun and simple baby-type scares and progressing to pure anxiety and nightmare fuel.

(As an aside, I’m honestly still mad that there was no seizure warning for the amount of strobe lights they filmed in the name of fear.)

3.) Consistent foreshadowing

● At the very beginning, they show a gut-wrenching video of a bloodied and tied-up Brandy being shoved into a trunk

● Also, the film seemingly always lingers on Brandy, which gives a small clue as to the haunt creeps having an unhealthy obsession with her.

● At the first attraction, The Haunt House, while the crew films with high spirits, they convince Brandy to playfully get into one of the prop coffins, thinking it’ll be funny. Then the actor nearby shuts the coffin until she screams to let her out.

- Deeper into their travels, they joke about how much they’d want to get paid to be buried alive. At the end, that’s exactly what happens.

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(Final Thoughts)

There are so many heart- and gut-wrenching moments that force you to never look away from the screen. If I’m being honest, the style and story that Bobby Roe created is honestly on par with something you’d see from the acclaimed likes of Kubric and Zombie, among others.

This is such an underrated find. Minus my nitpicks, I’m giving this [9/10] stabs.

(This is the most I’ve been shaken up by a film in a good while.)

Want to get lost and vicariously (not literally) shit your pants? This is the film for you.

[Just don’t piss any clowns off on your way there,K?]

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ofsamwinchester · 4 years ago

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Day of the Dead

SUMMARY: Sam goes to visit Charlie at her manor, but encounters a familiar foe. TRIGGERS: Death, blood, honestly not too bad all things considered. I wrote this when i should be sleeping so maybe my dumbassery should be a trigger WRITTEN WITH: Me, myself, and I. MENTIONS: @ofdeathstouch @ofwaywardsons @zztophat

November 2nd had always been a bad day for Sam. His mother died on this day. Jessica died on this day. The woman he was falling for currently had even died on this day. He was always so worried about what that day might do to those who were close to him. He never thought about what it might do to himself.

The day started out ordinarily enough. It hadn’t been that long since what had happened at the party, so Sam had made it a habit of visiting Charlie frequently to make sure she was okay. On a day like today, he found it especially important to check up on her. After all, it was a hard day for her too on top of it being her birthday. He took the time to buy her flowers, a bouquet of lavender because it reminded him of her, and a new dress to replace the one that had gotten blood all over it. He’d told her that he’d take her dancing at some point to make up for the fact that she didn’t get to have fun at the party like everyone else because of him, and she couldn’t exactly do something like that when her dress had been ruined.

He parked his car and started walking towards the manor. A man was standing at the edge of Charlie’s property, back facing Sam. Sam couldn’t recognize him, but he got a bad feeling. He felt a pull towards the man. “Hey,” said Sam, trying to talk to the man casually, even if Sam could tell the man was a demon, it didn’t mean he was necessarily doing anything wrong. Not all demons were terrible, and Sam was trying to keep himself from consuming demon blood. It’d be better if he didn’t start a fight here. “Can I help you?” he asked instead.

The man chuckled. “You know, I think you can.” He turned around. “Howdy, Sammy.” Sam didn’t recognize the man. He didn’t look like anyone Sam knew, but the way he said that was so familiar. A chill ran up Sam’s spine. “Actually, I think we can help each other.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You see, I’ve been keeping an eye on you, Sammy. I know what you can do, how you’ve been doing it.” Sam kept his expression neutral, if this was one of Lucifer’s demons trying to catch him out on what he’d been doing to acquire demon blood, he wasn’t going to admit to it. “Oh, don’t look like that. It’s good. Healthy. Strong! I think you should keep doing it, actually. Just . . . redirect it.”

“What do you mean?” Sam had no intention of doing whatever this guy wanted him to do, but it was better to know what he was trying to do.

“I mean, think bigger. I heard that you’re not Lucifer’s biggest fan.” That might’ve been true, at least it was before. Sam still didn’t trust Lucifer completely. It was hard to disconnect Lucifer from the one from his own world, but he knew they weren’t the same. This universe’s Lucifer was kinder. He cared more about his family, and as far as he could tell, he preferred for there to be peace here. Despite being the leader of Hell, Lucifer had taken Sam’s orders without questions or complaints. If he took a moment to think about that, he’d realize how crazy that was. Sam didn’t think this Lucifer was really all that bad, even if it would still take time for him to even think about being comfortable around the Devil.

“I’m not killing Lucifer,” Sam said firmly. He was pretty sure he couldn’t do that by himself even if he wanted to. The most he’d really been able to do to the Lucifer of his own universe was trap him, and that in and of itself had put Sam in situations he never wanted to end up in again. Sam wouldn’t do that here, even if he wanted to, which he didn’t.

“Don’t get your wires crossed here. I’m not looking for another soldier. We have our army. We just need someone to lead them. Too many of them are followers, and if we could make Lucifer fight on two fronts, we could-”

“I said I’m not interested,” Sam cut him off. He didn’t care whoever this was or what he wanted with Lucifer, but it wasn’t something Sam wanted a part of. He had enough issues as it was.

“What if I told you I could sweeten the pot?” the demon asked. “Your powers. I could teach you how to use them. Better, make you stronger. Hell, protecting that girl of yours wouldn’t be a problem, and she wouldn’t be the only one. You could be able to save people, Sammy.”

Sam frowned before realization hit him. “Azazel.” It only made sense, the familiarity, the way he was trying to recruit Sam. Azazel blinked, and his eyes turned yellow. “You’re still trying to play me.” Sam scoffed. Of course. Even now, even now, his life was getting jerked around by someone else. “What happened with Jo, that was your fault, wasn’t it?” Sam didn’t doubt that Jo could’ve found out how to trap a reaper on her own, but he didn’t think that would be her first solution to her problem. That was Azazel’s doing. “Why? Another one of your tests?” Sam practically spat at the demon. He was tired of this.

“What can I say?” Azazel shrugged. “I’m full of great ideas.”

“Not this time.” Sam smirked, reaching for his demon blade that he generally kept on him. He frowned when he didn’t feel it there. He patted down other areas and still found no demon blade. The only other weapon he had on him . . . was himself.

“You look like you lost something there, Sammy.” Azazel smirked. “Here, let me help you.” He pulled out his own knife, cutting open his arm. “This is what I gave you when you were a baby. Of course, they dashed those plans out from under me. I could’ve made a bunch of you, if Lucifer had just listened to me, I could’ve been his right hand man. He’ll learn from his mistakes eventually when Aamon takes over. You don’t want to miss out on this ride, trust me.”

Sam shook his head. “No.” He wouldn’t take anymore demon blood like this. He was trying to stop, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. The hallucinations he had did their best to convince him to drink the blood. It would make him stronger. It would get him through this. What were a few drops when it came to defeating his mother’s murderer? Jessica’s murderer? “Go to Hell.”

“Hmm, been there. Done that.” Azazel shrugged. He still seemed to think he could convince Sam somehow.

Sam could hear a car pulling up nearby, but it didn’t distract him as he held his hand out towards Azazel. Azazel laughed at first, thinking Sam couldn’t do anything against him, but then he started to choke as Sam’s fingers slowly tightened. He looked more concerned for a second, but then he laughed more. “You don’t have the juice, kid.”

“I don’t care.” He kept trying, using every ounce of power within himself to bring Azazel down. Blood started to drip from Sam’s nose as he overexerted himself. Azazel was right. He was running on fumes, but it didn’t matter. Sam would kill himself to do this. His ears were ringing as he pulled Azazel out of his vessel. Smoke billowed up high, but Sam kept going. His vision was blurring. His head was spinning, but all that mattered to him now was ending Azazel. The smoke pooled together on the ground and burned into it. There was nothing left of Azazel.

There wasn’t much left of Sam either. He turned a little to see Dean and Zatanna coming up to him. Oh. He’d done this in front of them then. He’d meant to tell Dean on his own terms but it was apparently too late for that. He’d disappointed his brother again. Dean got to see the monster underneath it all yet again. He opened his mouth to apologize, to explain, something. Instead, he choked on blood, and collapsed. Everything went black.

November 2nd could add another to its list of dead.

#sp #self para #day of the dead #November 2nd #i did it before the day ended #so thats nice #if i spent more time on it #itd be better #but im so so so tired

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lovinmullen · 5 years ago

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the pacific: part one, live blog because i said so

he looked so pissed when he has to make the sign of the cross to mary..... I KNOW ITS BECAUSE HES FALLING AWAY FROM HIS RELIGION but all i can think is undercover protestant????? i hate that i find myself funny stfu tom like he’s some angsty protestant like ‘this is fucking bullshit why the fuck DO THEY PRAY TO MARY’ which..... is a huge missconsperion but i’m not gonna get into that right now but hey if anyone needs an rs teacher? i got you

are you telling me i could have heard the most BEAUTIFUL monologue about the saint mary’s church and her plans for the day as well as being able to see that sweet sweet smile on vera’s face for longer but it was cut short because bobo went ‘i joined the marines’ GOOD FOR YOU BUT.....

rOBERT...... you really gonna give her THAT look...... IN GODS HOUSE is this allowed? is THIS ALLOWED???? if you don’t say it in the voice of the vine we can not be fteejssn sorry i don’t make the rules

#BOB: i wanna catholic girl that go to church AND READ HER BIBLE (is that even right??? omg i can only remember the jewish one *in the voice of ryan reynolds severely slowed down* FUUUUUCCCKKK)

on a real note this man saw her at church ONCE and his ass went finna wife up like........ take her out to dinner first. OR AT LEAST ASK HER HOW SHE IS IN THE LETTERS like we get it you’re emo, the aussie won’t shag you anymore and you keep pissing your pants. i understand it’s a hard not life or how ever that song in annie goes but bro.........(this is obviously a joke i am dumb of ass please ignore me i love you m8 and i’m sorry you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of everyone but chuckler shifts to momma mode so you good)

can we please acknowledge jon’s acting..... sir? PHENOMENAL he’s not even saying anything??? he’s just looking at the lt yet i’m near tears

gentle reminder i love the basilones🥺🥺🥺 the way they are so supportive even though they don’t understand and they are scared for him but they accept and respect that john wants more, needs more and they’re putting their own fears aside so he can spread his wings for no better turn of phrase.

‘just get the job done, and come home to us’ the way his head falls and he has to stop his voice from breaking. i’m s fucking bitter

THE HAND HOLD MY GOD

leckie:((( look hes a bastard and he pisses me off but no matter how much i bully him i do love him a lot and the complete disregard and uncaring nature from his dad breaks my heart. a handshake then gone just like that? HIS FACE BEFORE ‘there’s a war on everybodies got to make sacrifices’ he looks so hurt and broken baby

GENE MY SWEET SWEET BABY GOD THIS SO SAD ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO. my baby just wants to do his part :( CUT THE CAMERAS DEAD ASS I WILL CRY BABY PLEASE DON’T CRY JUST WAIT A FEW MORE EPS my heart really do be looking like: <eugene3

‘gene, supper’s ready’ ma’am i’m sorry but he does not give a shit

SIDNEY MY SWEET SWEET BOY get in a pram if you’re going to be so baby. look while i love him so much and i know he didn’t mean it to be !!!!! he’s just small of brain !!! but when he says “i wish we where going together” that lowkey rubs it in man......... like he’s already heartbroken PLEASE STOP but the “yeah well you take care of yourself greaser” - “you don’t have to worry about me” IM SOFT🥺

“wOWoWOoOOO COME ON GUYS I WORKED HARD FOR THESE ORANGES”

“guadal...kenel...guadal BLEEHHH” didn’t realise hoos was recreating the audience of my english speaking exam. LOOK I REALISE NOW TALKING ABOUT STOICISM TO A BUNCH OF 15 YEAR OLDS WHO DON’T CARE WAS A BAD IDEA BUT I GOT A DESTINCTION SO FUCK YOU TO THAT ONE KID

chuckler baby..... i’m in love with a dumbass. also the hit across the head. i’m soft (lads lets take a shot every time i say i’m soft in this liveblog ITS GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT jk drink responsibly and all that jazz or be dick winters that’s cool too!! heck do a babe heffron and get yourself a caprisun you deserve it)

“professor leckie” please don’t fuel his ego HE DOES NOT NEED IT

HOLD UP I NEED TO SWITCH FROM THE TV TO MY LAPTOP TO SCREEN CAP THIS SHIT LEW MY SON HAVE YOU BEEN BITING INTO AN ORANGE LIKE IT IS AN APPLE??? I WOULD BE MAD BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE on a real note though can you eat the skin???? will he be okay?????

okay two hoos things: 1.) he looks SO DONE and i’m living for it 2.) can we talk about jacobs nose..... IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT JACOBS NOSE

okay the boats scene give me saving private ryan flashbacks i came out here to have a good time AND I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME oh wait never mind runner just went ‘i could really use a stiff one right now’ i hate that but he saved the day with his dumbassery so thank you good sir i love you with all my heart

fun fact my how co ranking goes chuckler, runner, hoos, leckie

OH FUCK I FORGOT SID SJAKSJSJ y’know for someone who talks about how much they love sid i forget about him a lot. thank you for blessing my screen with your pretty face it helped me remember you exist LMAO guys my memory is not okay i’m actually concerned...... but more importantly i’d put him between hoos and leckie in the ranking :,)

call it what it is. babyism. y’all better stop before i cuddle you LOOK AT THIS SHIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

runner is the only bitch i respect in this house he’s so fucking funny

‘they’ve? poisoned? a? billion?! coconuts?’ that poor son of a bitch BLESS HIM don’t shoot the messenger okay? he seems like a sweet bean

that shot of hoos, leckie and chuckler looking down at the camera into the bunker? my sexuality. my left brain: tomas stop thirsting it’s an intense and serious show. my righ brain: but?? they’re pretty?? me nodding smugly and in agreement: BUT THEY’RE PRETTY.

THIS MAN AND HIS GUM I CAN’T why is that me. i am the gum man at my school that sounds so weird ajsksjsj i just always have gum. ALSO spearmint is superior to normal mint. NORMAL MINT BURNS LIKE ITS SPICY BRO. bubblemint is superior superior but that’s more expensive rip😭😭😭😭😭😭

‘it’s like the fourth of july’ nice to my boy sufjan getting some rep he is king of the gays after all mr i can’t explain the state that i’m in the state of my heart he was my best friend. we all owe him EVERY parallel on this goddamn app. jk there’s one other king of the gays and that is demon! shane (bfu). no this is not up for debate

the shot of the ships is phenomenal. that’s one thing i do have to credit hbo on. the special effects and cinematography are beautiful and so fucking impressive like???

‘we’re killing them’ - ‘where’s the navy?’ / ‘gone we lost four cruisers’ GOD I HAVE SUCH A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP FOR FORSHADOWING LIKE SOMETIMES ITS SO SEXY AND OTHER TIMES IM LIKE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO AWAY

WHY DOES SID LOOK OVER HIS SHOLDER BEFORE TAKING THE WINE SIR NO ONE IS GONNA TELL YOU OFF AT WAR FOR DRINKING UNDERAGE like???? i don’t think an 18 year old having a swig is their biggest problem bless his heart

‘can’t fight em drunk don’t fight em at all’

bill if you are reading this i’m free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night, when i am free😌😘🥰😳🥺👉👈😤💘💓🙄🥴

FUCK I FORGOT HOW LOUD THE GUN SHOTS WHERE THINK I JUST WOKE THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD JC

‘skipper? skipper are you okay?? goddamnit he’s lost it come on’ :(((((

god the shots in this show really are phenomenal. i know it’s very gory and very hard to watch at times but it definitely has the best shots of the three en mi opinion. i’m a slut for the close up of dick screaming ‘move out’ with rounds flying. like who’s ever call that was? outstanding but like that’s just one? the pacific has so many emotive and excellently shot scenes.

JOG ON. STOP. IM SO SOFT IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS NOT OKAY. MOMMA CHUCKLER I CAN’T🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

how seemlessly the scenes flow one after the other despite being opposite ends of the spectrum i DID NOT GIVE TP ENOUGH CREDIT like yeah it makes me sad as fuck but from a production point of view the writing? the acting? the cinematography? DAMN

how visibly torn and pissed off hoosier looks over the other marines tormenting the japanese soldier, stringing out his death when he’s obviously in a lot of mental as well as physical pain? the only bitch i respect in this house.

okay so like? while the shot is scarring both for him and the audience to see that kind of effortless murder it was the right thing to do? it’s better then have him be tormented and it will help leckie in the long run? how broken he looks though? like the distance is his eye and the way he swollows....... WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS HUH???? brilliant james BRILLIANT

the way i just said ‘if biology would have permitted it i would be asking you to have my babies’ at the sight of a man shoving smokes up his nose....... now ladies theyzies and gents, a prime reason to show why you should do your work. this is tom. tom didn’t do his work. with nothing to do all day tom became bat shit..... don’t be like tom. okay like it is cute though COME ON

HOW PROUD AND SMUG AND HAPPY HE LOOKS AT HIS PREMOTION ‘yes ma’am i am a corporal’ HE IS SO BABY AND FOR WHAT. oops sorry lads looks like i dropped this:

the shot of leckie swimming in the water fading off to the shot of the dead bodies mirroring his movement but obviously a life less version OOOH IMMA SUE

god love me some men with black lungs LECKIE DO BE LOOKING GOOD LIGHTING THAT CIG DAMN

“i have a girlfriend lucky me” HOOS IS LIKE MY GAY ASS YOU SURE????

“you guys step aside the real marines are here now” “AND I’VE BEEN HERE FOR SOME TIME” that shuts iconic even i said wahayyyy

also runner..... i am looking RESPECTFULLY👁👁

you’re not special leckie we all want hoosier

sister👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

baby gene :,( YOU GINGER LIL BEBE I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

can you really call yourself a hbo war an if you don’t sing along at the end... ITS A TUNE also hoos’ voice...... its about the drawl.......

#god ive missed these idiots #im so glad i rewatched #im a bit scared for the rollercoaster that is the rest of the series however asjsksjks #enjoy me being an idiot #thank you to the beauties that told me how to do the keep reading thing you da best xxxx #the pacific #hbo war #eugene sledge #bill hoosier smith #lew chuckler juergens #robert leckie #sidney phillips #wilbur runner conley #john basilone

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