#save me from myself and my own dumbassery

[hylianmewmew]

ive done it again,,,,, witchweed ch 5 doesnt have a sneak peek but its nearing completion,,,,,,

[doriannestarryeyes]

so like…i’m a st. bernard, BUT also a vibe?

Likeeee, sure, i’ve got the big floppy ears and the drool and the “rescue dog” reputation, but honestly? i’ma also side-eye the HELL outta you when I have to rescue you from ur own dumbassery. i’m the kind of st. bernard who’s here to save you, but i’ll show up in the snow with a little barrel of brandy (Pretty sure its just a legend thing btw but lets pretend okkk??) around my neck, but instead of rescuing you, i’ll sit down and be like, “hey, have you ever thought about how capitalism is the real avalanche here?”

i’m not your typical hero dog. i’m not here to be noble or perfect or whatever. i’m here to be me. i’m big and clumsy and sometimes i knock over furniture just by existing, but i’m also warm and safe and i’ll always be there to cuddle you when you’re cold. ’m not here to fit into anyone’s box of what a st. bernard “should” be. i’m here to be a little chaotic, a little comforting, and a whole lot of myself.

also, can we talk about the brandy barrel thing for a second? like, who decided that was our thing? because honestly, i’m not even sure i like brandy. i’d rather show up with a little barrel of tea (I hate soup or I would pick that lol) or hot chocolate. or maybe just a blanket and some snacks. because let’s be real, the best way to save someone is to make them feel warm and loved and cared for. and maybe also to argue with them about the ethics of private property while they’re thawing out.

anyway, i’m a st. bernard, but i’m also a mood. i’m here to rescue you, but i’m also here to confuse & comfort you, and maybe knock over a few tables in the process. 🐾✨

[bloodyfeverdreams]

Whumptober Masterlist

This is my first masterlist, but let's see if I can pull it off haha

Bakugou "Doesn't Get Sick"- Katsuki's fine. He's totally fine, it's just too hot outside. and inside. It's nothing, his headache is from dealing with everyone's bullshit, and getting annoyed at Todoroki for being his assigned partner. He's fine.

Prompts 1, 2, 3, 7, 13, and 15- Swooning, Thermometer/Delirium, "Make it stop", "Can you hear me?", Cold Compress, and "I'm fine"

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I'm Fine (Don't Peek Behind the Curtain)- Honestly, Shinsou hasn't been in class 1A for long, but god, it seems like Bakugou has the biggest case of 'main character syndrome' he's ever seen. His entire personality is just being an asshole, and Shinsou is already tired of it. But when a villain makes Bakugou's internal pain show externally, Shinsou sees just how wrong he was.

Prompt 4, 6, 22, and 29- Shock, Made to Watch, Watch Out, and Troubled Past Resurfacing

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Lost in the Darkness- Katsuki is already having a seriously shitty day when the building he, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Uraraka is in collapses. From there, everything just gets worse and worse. He should've known better, he said "today couldn't get any worse", and he jinxed himself.

Also known as trying to keep the blindfold on Katsuki as long as possible ;)

Prompt 5, 9, 10, 17, 18, and 30- Pinned Down, You're A Liar, Stranded, Touch Aversion, Blindfold, and Bridal Carry

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Stricken- Trying to rescue Kaminari from his own dumbassery, Katsuki gets struck by lightning.

Prompts 8, 11. 16, 25, 27- All the Things I've Done, "All the light's gone out and my hope's destroyed", Chasing Cars, Storm, and Scars

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Never Shall We Die- Katsuki walks the plank to save his crew, willing to die so they don't. Waking up on a beach alive wasn't something he'd thought possible, and his rescuer is even more inexplicable.

Prompts 14, 21, 24, and 28- Water Inhalation, Restraints, Goodbye Note, Sacrifice

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shidekobushi- Katsuki has a stalker who gives him something she shouldn't

Prompt 19 and 23- Floral Bouquet and Stalking

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Friends Are The Best Obvious Solution- Katsuki hasn't been able to properly sleep for a while, having nightmares that leave him unable to get back to sleep until he has to get up again. The squad notices something's wrong, and decide that they're gonna help no matter what Katsuki says.

Prompts 12, 20, 26, and 31- Insomnia, Found Family, "Sometimes I Get So Tired, I Don't Know Myself", and "I thought I was getting better"

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[oh-snapperss]

i was tempted to post the whole fic here but here's a section from your work, "ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece":

""I have twenty-two minutes left," Skizz says, as if he were merely telling Etho what time of day it was, or that the chickens were all loose in the base again, or even that Impulse had fallen asleep on the stairs again, and don't wake him up! "And this is my final order."

Skizz fixes Etho with a look, right in the eye, one that Etho knows he'll never escape. The ticking still doesn't stop. "My time will not go to anybody else. TIES gets to final three."

Etho's grip around the axe tightens, but– he turns to face Tango and Impulse. “Tango, you don't– you don't want it?” Please take it. Please. But Tango is shaking his head, resolute. "You need it most, dude."

Skizz turns, and kneels, his face turned to the ground in acceptance. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The axe swings upward, poised in the air above Skizz's neck, and the night falls silent, the air static with energy Etho can't quite place.

(There are Eyes w̸̜̼͗͝͝a̴̦͓̻̋̂t̷̤̰̞́͠c̵̠̯̩͌h̷̫̰̏i̸̱̙̻̊̋͑ň̷̙̠g̵̫̱̊.)

For a moment, the axe hangs there, held up by invisible strands that Etho swears are pulling the axe away from Skizz's neck, tightening by the moment as if to stop him from doing the very thing he knows he'll do at any moment. The axe drops towards Skizz's neck, falters, and pulls back up again before Etho can force his body to go through with it. He grits his teeth, forces his eyes to stay open–to aim. Readjusting his grip, Etho takes one deep breath. Then two. He's wasting his time and he's not even sure why. It's not like he's never killed before, or even used an axe to do it.

“Etho....?”

He doesn't even know who said it.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

(Somewhere in another game, Tango tells Bdubs: He's a survivor, man, that's what he does.)

Etho swings.

Just as the axe connects with Skizz's neck, thunder cracks overhead, so loud the crack shatters through his bones and shakes the platform. The lightning hits Skizz in the same second, blinding white and in arcs of electricity that dance down Skizz's body, down through his hair and neck, and then up the axe still moving into his neck. It's too late to stop the connection, too fast to stop the lightning from dancing its way up the blade and handle. Instead, it's as if Etho is frozen, mesmerized by the tendrils of pure energy that arc around his hands, before connecting, and–

Heat travels through his body, up through his hands and arms and then the rest of him. It's so much that he thinks he might explode, or maybe he just has. The world is silent, save for the ringing in his ears, and a thousand years have passed in the agony that tears through him. The entire world is white and gone and it's too much, enough he’s sure he’s going to die with Skizz."

i can't get that phrase out of my head, of "static energy". your writing is wild man, absolutely one of my fav life series authors :] -vm

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA no i'm so glad you asked about this passage OMGGG

link to the fic this section is from

send me a passage of a fic i've written and i'll give detailed commentary on it!

""I have twenty-two minutes left," Skizz says, as if he were merely telling Etho what time of day it was, or that the chickens were all loose in the base again, or even that Impulse had fallen asleep on the stairs again, and don't wake him up! "And this is my final order."

god. okay so this scene was definitely one of the harder things I've written in the year or so I've done fic--I wanna say I actually rewrote this entire part... three, four, five times? I was struggling to find the right way of describing being hit by lightning because. well. I hadn't been hit by lightning so I didn't really know how to write it!

and them a miracle occurred by my own dumbassery and i accidentally electrocuted myself three times in one night with an outlet and that gave me a starting point! ((disclaimer DO NOT DO THIS))

Anyways, my thinking for this paragraph! I really wanted to have the memories of a slightly domestic life within TIES flashing through Etho's mind. I like to think about TIES as fiercely loyal to each other, like some type of almost family. Not like... family family, but you get what I mean. Having that section, that little glimpse into what living in denial about their time running out was something I think added to the overall horror of this chapter.

Skizz fixes Etho with a look, right in the eye, one that Etho knows he'll never escape. The ticking still doesn't stop. "My time will not go to anybody else. TIES gets to final three." Etho's grip around the axe tightens, but– he turns to face Tango and Impulse. “Tango, you don't– you don't want it?” Please take it. Please. But Tango is shaking his head, resolute. "You need it most, dude."

This part was less me and more the actual dialogue of what happened. I must have rewatched that scene from Etho's pov a good thirty times just trying to peruse what I wanted to keep, edit, or add to this scene. The only thing I really, really needed to convey throughout this entire time was the time ticking away and away, because I think as the end approached in LimL, that was something every player came to notice constantly. Tick, tick, tick, tick. That little rhythm, a reminder that their time was fading. A reminder it wasn't too late.

The other thing I think is worth noting about the ticking in this fic--I don't know if you ever heard or watched Unus Annus, but I was a day one watcher of that channel and the first thing I thought of when I saw the concept of LimL was that goddamn ticking clock they had at the start of their videos, counting down. It really affected how I watched the entire series and I wanted that tick tick tick tick to carry through in this.

(i'm gonna put the rest under a read more!)

Skizz turns, and kneels, his face turned to the ground in acceptance. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. The axe swings upward, poised in the air above Skizz's neck, and the night falls silent, the air static with energy Etho can't quite place. (There are Eyes w̸̜̼͗͝͝a̴̦͓̻̋̂t̷̤̰̞́͠c̵̠̯̩͌h̷̫̰̏i̸̱̙̻̊̋͑ň̷̙̠g̵̫̱̊.)

Once again, a combination of canon and the tick rhythm.

"Static with energy Etho can't quite place." THIS line right here was where I first started trying to carry in the same feelings as one might have felt when reading The Stories We Tell and the Truths Untold. Being set in the same series, if you've read both fics than you'll know that Etho and the Watchers have just a slight history. My goal here was to carry across that weird energy Etho felt back with Team Canada in this fic. And, if the reader had NOT read the Team Canada fic, which I assumed would be the case since Ethubs is such a more popular thing than Team Canada, they could interpret it as the energy of four men on a platform--two about to watch their best friend die, one about to kill his friend, and the fourth knowing his end is here.

And then the final line with the Watching!! Once again, a throwback to the Team Canada fic, where I not only had used this type of text for the watchers throughout, but had also increased how corrupted the word "watching" was as the fic progressed and Etho got more freaked out.

For a moment, the axe hangs there, held up by invisible strands that Etho swears are pulling the axe away from Skizz's neck, tightening by the moment as if to stop him from doing the very thing he knows he'll do at any moment. The axe drops towards Skizz's neck, falters, and pulls back up again before Etho can force his body to go through with it. He grits his teeth, forces his eyes to stay open–to aim. Readjusting his grip, Etho takes one deep breath. Then two. He's wasting his time and he's not even sure why. It's not like he's never killed before, or even used an axe to do it.

eeeheheehhehehehe this is literally just building up tension for the most part--racing thoughts, the ticking ongoing, Etho hesitating to do it, which is where the fic differentiates from canon.

“Etho....?” He doesn't even know who said it. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. (Somewhere in another game, Tango tells Bdubs: He's a survivor, man, that's what he does.) Etho swings.

Yeah. yeah... this line. I think the throwback to the Line was important to Etho's character and the study through the rest of the fic. He's a survivor. I'll be interested to see if that continues in Secret Life, because...he's actually been so out of character I could see him not choosing himself in the end. Just once. I dunno! I could be SO wrong. But so much of this fic revolves around Etho and his need to survive vs. the love he has for his friends...I think this sets the stage for the internal conflict coming.

Just as the axe connects with Skizz's neck, thunder cracks overhead, so loud the crack shatters through his bones and shakes the platform. The lightning hits Skizz in the same second, blinding white and in arcs of electricity that dance down Skizz's body, down through his hair and neck, and then up the axe still moving into his neck. It's too late to stop the connection, too fast to stop the lightning from dancing its way up the blade and handle. Instead, it's as if Etho is frozen, mesmerized by the tendrils of pure energy that arc around his hands, before connecting, and– Heat travels through his body, up through his hands and arms and then the rest of him. It's so much that he thinks he might explode, or maybe he just has. The world is silent, save for the ringing in his ears, and a thousand years have passed in the agony that tears through him. The entire world is white and gone and it's too much, enough he’s sure he’s going to die with Skizz."

If you've ever wondered what this sounded like in my head... it sounded like this. I don't know how to explain that most of this section was inspired by a fucking Spiderverse track, but here we are. So much of the build-up and the actual strike was this. If you listen to the song, it builds up and up for the first 34 seconds, and then it stops, and then just. GOES and that's the moment I felt like the axe dropped and the lightning struck, in those moments after. I know that probably sounds like . laurie what the fuck is wrong with you. but the vast majority of my fics are written with song inspiration and soundtrack in mind, and music helps me visualize things such as this i could NEVER write otherwise. If you don't listen to soundtrack or instrumentals, I highly recommend it for writing!

Thanks so much for the section!!! I hope this all makes sense:]

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

I'M STILL ALIVE, I bet you thought you were free from my annoyance for just a split second, didn't you? Kiyahahaha! Ahem... So I'm saving Kazui and Amane for last because you've already talked about them. and the only two people that are in front of them is Es and Jackalope ! Triple A battery (Aro/Ace/Agender) and a Minecraft Rabbit. Intriguing

Hey! Was wondering when you would send this in. It’s gonna be real awkward when we’re done here and I actually have to come up with things to post by myself lol. Unless people keep sending me questions about specific theories like with the Shidou Incident :v /lh

CW: Mentions of death and cults.

Starting with Jackalope because- does it even count as a character? It’s more of a plot device than anything. I’m pretty sure I could point to several background characters with more interesting things going on (Rei, Hinako, all the people in Bring it On who I will make a post about one day mark my words).

That’s hyperbole, of course. Jackalope is cool enough, it does what it needs to do, and while I haven’t read all the minigrams yet, it seems like a funny dude in those. It serves well enough as the somewhat-charismatic mascot that guides the audience surrogate (Es) through the insanity of the plot. I… could however do without the weird comments about some of the girls being pretty or whatever. Why are these kind of mascots always oddly horny?

Anyways, I really don’t know what else to say. I think it’s neat only Es hears it talk, that’s just funny. And the fact it cooks all the meals is just a very nice image.

Also if it’s a Minecraft rabbit does that mean I can take its feet and make a jump boost potion? How does this fit into the lore I wonder.

Whatever, who cares about that thing? We gotta talk about the teen, the myth, the legend! No interest in romance (that we know of), vaguely uncomfortable at the mere mention of sex, and uses they/them pronouns! Wow, Es is just like me fr! There is a reason I have them as my pfp, you know.

I love Es. As a concept, it’s already hilarious that the Warden of the Hell Prison is a fifteen year old amnesiac, but the fact they take it so seriously is incredible. Not just because of the very cool philosophical implications of their very peculiar worldview, but also because it’s just objectively funny. They woke up, no idea what’s going on or how they got there, immediately decided they would devote themselves wholeheartedly to the task set out by a rabbit with horns who only they can hear talk. And then sang a banger to kick the series off, Undercover goes hard.

Speaking of songs, I’ve always wondered if we’re ever gonna get another non-cover Es song. I think they deserve it, as a treat. It’d be great to get some more insight on them.

At least the covers are really good, and can be kinda funny at times. I haven’t listened to all of them, but Es’ somewhat emotionless delivery is sometimes really funny. Like, Fuuta will be over there shouting his heart out, then cut to Es like “you’re the crazy one. bang bang bang.” God I love them.

But the main part of Es’ character are all the VDs, where we get to see them really talk a bunch. And wow this kid is so silly! (Read: they’re immensely fucked up). I really want to know more about them.

Their views on morals and justice are especially interesting to me. They have such a blind faith in Milgram and in their own judgement, it’s impressive. It’s especially funny seeing them try to piece together some kind of cohesive logic as to why they voted people Innocent or Guilty out of our dumbassery.

And of course, this pride in their position and their occupation is great for foiling with several of the characters around. I want to see what they do in the Kotoko VD this Trial, I need them to go off on her ass it’s gonna be great. Fuuta’s second VD also was great for them, such an interesting dynamic. Especially because through Es, Milgram can essentially speak directly to us and confront us in our judgements. I think it’s fantastic.

And then Amane. The parallels man. The unwavering faith in a collective of really fucked up people (Amane’s cult or Milgram fandom which is worse?) guiding their actions, the way Amane sees Milgram as a potentially ideal world the same way Es has full faith in it already, the obsession with punishing wrongs, the fact they’re children!

Listen, I don’t think I need to copy paste the Puerto Rico line. You know what it is, I know what it is. It’s the most out of pocket, crazy comeback I’ve ever seen in my life. The fact it’s 100% a total lie just makes it even funnier, like Es really just said that for no reason huh? The sibling dynamic with these two is strong, I love them so much. 00-03-08 found family where the fics at?

Also speaking of Amane, you know that theory that she may have DID? I think it’d be very funny if next trial a different alter rolls up and stabs Es knowing only one of the alters is affected by Milgram rules. This is why we have to inno Amane, so our Warden doesn’t die before the end of Trial 3 you see? I’m spinning the Es post into inno Amane propaganda, how about that?

Anyways, enough Amane. So you know how Es’ amnesia is basically the biggest part of their character after their devotion to Milgram? That’s why I love when we get small indications of how Es is actually like beyond that.

Es: [Talking about Kazui potentially cheating on his wife] It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. Kazui: It’s personal? E: Yeah. That’s right. K: That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but… E: … K: Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?

See? They have a personal dislike! They have individual thoughts! What’s the deal with that?! Tell me more Es please I wanna know what your deal is! Why do you hate that kind of thing I am begging hands and knees I gotta know! Unless there is no reason which is also perfectly understandable.

Es: Then…what were you aiming for with…that is…your compensated, dating…. Yuno: Why are you stammering? *Gasp* You're so pure!

Es will talk about shit like murder and organ harvesting without a stutter then get squeamish about dating and sex. Oh they just like me fr fr.

Jackalope: [tongue click and raises head] Es: Would you like me to pet you? J: NO! Open the damn door! You can tell just by looking, can’t you?! E: Ah. [footsteps] I have a question. Even though you can’t open a door by yourself, why do you act like such a hotshot?

I forgot about this line from the Es VD but it’s honestly so fucking funny. Es woke up and was already a snarky bastard, God I love them.

The point is that Es isn’t just an audience stand-in blank slate, not fully. And I love them for that. Especially when sometimes their views very evidently contradict the fandom’s majority.

Es will be like “oh Shidou you are the type of person I hate the most. Anyways let me hit that Innocent button, how about that, how does that make you feel bitch?” And of course there’s the inherent silliness of things like “sure Muu committed violent and near-remorseless murder, but Fuuta has a Twitter. I think the Guilty one here is obvious.” Why does Es even trust us anymore?

I have a lot of thoughts about the Legal Adult in Puerto Rico According to Themselves and Themselves Only, but I kinda don’t wanna go look at every single VD ever released at the moment. Might make a more detailed analysis… some day. Don’t hold your breath though.

Final note is the eleventh cell thing from their VD.

Es: What about over there? At eleven o’clock. In that room… Is there no prisoner? Its door is even older than the others—rusty. There’s no lock on the outside as well.

While I don’t know what the deal with it being older would be, currently what I’m predicting is that someone could eventually die because of Es’ (our) judgement, presumably after their song releases in Trial 3, and then Es would be considered a murderer by Milgram rules. Thus, they would need a cell, and they end up getting judged themselves. I think it’d be very fun, though obviously I’d prefer no one dies. I’m not sure there’s any way to prevent that, though, even if Shidou goes unharmed this Trial I feel there’s enough conflict that someone will eventually die. I’m getting off track.

Anyways, hope that was enough for now! Take care!

[arambleaway]

Lets pretend the lack of Phoenix backstory isn't a logical mechanical choice and instead treat it as a facet of the character because I think it has interesting implications. I saw a post that I can't find because I'm an idiot that mentioned how odd it really was in a story context that we never hear or see anything about his family and given my personal bias I have some thoughts. So. Treating it as a story feature. Lets begin.

I am extrapolating my ideas from a couple places. The first being that 1) Phoenix never really mentions his family so something happened to cause them to no longer be a part of each others' lives. 2) There is a seeming lack of grief and no mention even while on trial for murder in college. 3) Phoenix does not, to my eye, appear to hold the hallmarks of people growing up in an abusive household. But 4) He latches who he is onto other people with worrying intensity.

I'm merging these facts with my own belief that Phoenix is trans (disprove me I dare you) and my own observations as to what Phoenix is like as a parent. Also the fact that his name is Phoenix. Because honestly. So anyway. My conclusions are thus:

Phoenix is trans, but he didn't pick his name. He was named Phoenix at birth by his exceedingly law-hating hippie parents, which seems to be a popular idea from my narrow exposure. My view is that he was one of those kids that was like 7 and just knew. (Bastards. I love them but ugh. I wish) So Phoenix's parents being the amazingly supportive people they were, immediately swapped pronouns and even relocated him to another school so that he could have a fresh start without having to deal with a bunch of questions. The absolute bastard of a teacher nearly wrecks that (diatribe for another post) but Miles and Larry are enough to make them keep Phoenix in place because of how much the two mean to him.

Huh, guess this means Larry and Miles don't know about the trans thing. And even though they like Miles for hanging with Phoenix they aren't thrilled about Miles's hyperfixation. I bet it would be like when you go to a friends house they try to feed you except whenever Miles is over its like "try art!" or "have you ever thought of opening a business?" You could probably have some funny shenanigans as Miles, Larry, and Phoenix try to follow these kinds of suggestions in the most... them way possible.

So Phoenix's parents are super supportive throughout his childhood even reaching out to get him Miles's address though they aren't thrilled about Miles's Dad's job. Probably part of why Phoenix didn't know anything about Miles vanishing is that his parents didn't exactly care enough to ask.

A note though before moving into the reasons for the rift, are that while Phoenix's parents were super supportive, it was in a very hands off way. I'll get back to this.

So college comes around and Phoenix wants to take some law classes. Which his parent just are not thrilled or happy about. To the point where its like: fine, but we aren't going to pay for them. And then Phoenix sees Miles in the Paper and they are just... appalled. They refuse to pay for anymore of Phoenix's college and spend a rather taxing weekend trying to convince him to go back into art and trying to tell Phoenix that swapping majors for a man is ridiculous and law is nothing for a good sort like him. Oh. hehe, just had the thought that this is when Phoenix first watches Legally Blonde and it does the exact opposite of what his parents were hoping.

So they are arguing and by the end of the weekend they, honestly rather cordially, tell Phoenix that he is their son and they love him but cannot condone his choice. And he can take what he likes from his things in the house. They'll keep it all for him so that he can have it there when he comes to his senses and finds a decent career. But until then, it would be best if they didn't see him. Thus, Phoenix goes back to university heartbroken and seriously questioning if he made the right choice. (He probably watches Legally Blonde more than he'll admit.)

Then Dahlia comes along and the worst possible moment, and he is absolutely gone because he is craving that validation affection offers and hey law must be good for something because the courthouse brought him his darling Dollie. He latches all his insecurity and worry into the idea of loving and being loved by Dahlia/Iris. Which then makes his defense of her make more sense to my demi brain because I cannot comprehend that level of dumbassery for love. Just personally. It also makes sense because he absolutely latches onto Edgeworth after the trial because doing so is safe in a sense. Edgeworth can't hurt him because he isn't there and even if they are saying he is evil, Phoenix can save him after all he proved law wasn't evil, he can prove Miles isn't either. Or actually, he has to prove Miles isn't evil because if he doesn't then his parents were right and he fucked up is a massive way. So it goes.

The parent thing though! Swooping back around to the whole independent, hands off style of parenting, I really strongly believe in that being how he grew up because that is exactly how he is with Trucy. People will emulate their parents' good parts when parenting themselves, so I think he really emulates that part of how he grew up. He trusts her to act independently and lets her have her space. But he is very clearly always there for her no matter what. (which ties into everything above see? Occasionally i have maybe a sense i know something about what I'm writing.)

So yeah. My zigzagging thoughts on why Phoenix is the way he is and the family he comes from. I guess just a last note is I don't think they ever reconcile. Especially not after the disbarment. They would see the news and just... crumple because they knew it, their darling son has been corrupted. Oh. ouch. They see that and empty out his room. And Phoenix sees it all sitting outside when he goes to try and talk to them. Oof. Oh. Why do I hurt myself like this. Maybe they even fucking move. They treat it like the death of a child and just leave. So Phoenix doesn't actually know where they are. Which might also contribute to the whole 7 years of depression he goes through. Ughh. Now I wanna think about that. NO. I have other shit that popped up. Later ramble, later.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

I've been thinking a lot about the Sheriff role, and mainly, about what actually happens when the Sheriff picks the wrong person and dies. I imagine the game code just kills them with a heart attack or something...but I'm thinking less about the game mechanics right now and more about what it would be like for the person who the sheriff tried to kill. Just, one of the Hermits having somebody they know has been following them around and mistrusting them, only to watch that person drop with seemingly no warning or reason... The Sheriff dying in the crewmate's arms as they try to save them, or maybe just try frantically to think of some way they won't be blamed for the death...long story short, I'm in the mood for some angst with a wrongful Sheriff kill attempt, if you happen to find that inspiring.

soooo i wrote the thing and only then reread your request and saw the word “hermit”... whoops… i’ve used the friday night crew, hope that’s okay lol

honestly i’ve started defaulting to the friday night crew, especially when it’s not specified which crew is wanted :)

…

At the end of the first meeting, Brody heads over to communications to do his download. As he does, he quickly realises someone is behind him. “You appear to be following me.”

“Uh huh,” says Joker, watching Brody with the expectant expression of a child who wants to ask their parent for something. “You appear to be doing the download.”

“I AM doing the download,” Brody responds.

“Uh huh. Are you faking it?”

“...if I was, do you really think I’d say yes right there?”

“I dunno.”

Brody finishes his download and goes up to admin to upload. Joker follows him, causing his friend to shoot him a scowl. “Maybe you should spend less time bothering me and more time doing your own tasks.”

“I think you’re the imposter,” Joker states. “I want you to kill in front of me so I can get you kicked off.”

“What’s stopping me from just killing you right here in front of no witnesses?” asks Brody casually.

Joker stares at him for a moment. “Gonna be honest, I did not think of that.”

Brody snorts. “I thought not. Lucky for you, I can’t kill you this round. Get outta here and do your tasks.”

Joker moves away from Brody and watches him stand at the panel, apparently uploading. He shifts from foot to foot, before pulling out his gun and aiming it directly at Brody. Despite his flippant attitude to the whole situation, he genuinely believes Brody is not a crewmate.

So he pulls the trigger.

And immediately lets out a scream.

Brody whirls round, startled, to find Joker collapsing, the gun clattering to the ground. Reacting fast, he catches his friend and carefully lowers him down, trying not to panic. “Nonononononono! Joker, stay with me! Stay with me, buddy!”

He feels Joker’s wrist for a pulse. He finds one but it’s weak, and getting weaker by the second.

“Stay awake, Joker!” Brody hurriedly taps Joker’s face. “HEY! Stay with me! C’mon, please…!”

But within a second or two, the light in Joker’s eyes fades and his weakly moving chest settles.

Brody hangs his head, hugging his friend’s body close to him. “Damnit, Joker,” he whispers. “Why…?”

He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice the arrival of two more people until one of them reports the body and everyone is teleported to the meeting table.

“Brody just killed Joker,” says Endless immediately. “We saw it.”

Skizz glares at him. “No we didn’t! He was next to the body when we got there but we didn’t see him do it! We didn’t even see the body flop. It coulda been a swooper, lover kill, anything.”

“Okay, but you get how bad it looks that he was sitting next to the body, not reporting it, right?”

“He was cradling Joker in his arms! Have some compassion, man!”

Brody stays silent and lets them argue. There’s no point in trying to interrupt while someone is fighting his corner for him. Plus, he’s still semi-stunned from what just happened.

Finally, Etho speaks up: “Guys, guys, guys. Shh for a second. I wanna hear what happened from Brody.”

Everyone turns expectantly to him.

“Joker tried to sheriff me,” Brody says quietly.

“Why are you so sure?” asks Etho. “Are you saying there’s no way it could’ve been a swooper or lover kill?”

“I’m certain. Swooper kills and lover kills leave behind wounds; failed sheriff kills don’t. There was no blood, no wound on Joker’s body, nothing.”

“I can confirm there was no blood,” Skizz says. “Endless?”

Endless nods reluctantly. “I mean… I didn’t see any. But I still think it’s incredibly sus that Brody didn’t report it.”

“I was in shock,” says Brody truthfully. “Given a few more seconds, I probably would’ve reported. But I was just too shocked.”

He stares down at the table, Joker’s cry of pain echoing in his ears. He’s said his piece. It’s up to Etho now. Etho has so much pull; if Etho is unconvinced, Brody will be voted out.

“C’mon, you? Shocked?” Endless is clearly completely unconvinced. “You’ve played enough of this game that seeing someone die shouldn’t really faze you.”

Brody fixes him with a cold look. “He died in my arms. I literally saw the light leave his eyes. Tell me that wouldn’t affect you too.”

Endless simply meets his gaze and doesn’t respond.

Finally, Etho says, “I believe Brody here. Endless, why were you so determined to say he did it?”

“Because it really did look like he did it. Sorry if he didn’t.”

To Brody’s relief, he’s not voted off. He leaves the meeting table with everyone else and heads back down to admin to finish his upload. After he’s done this, he realises he forgot to swipe his card, so he goes to do this now.

But as he gets out his card, a shadow falls over the table. He looks up and his heart skips a beat as he registers the figure standing there, aiming a gun at him.

“Sorry, Brody, but since you’re clear, you’re of no use to me,” says Endless emotionlessly.

Before Brody can even open his mouth, there’s a loud BANG and his vision immediately goes black.

“-ake up, dude! Brody!”

Brody forces his eyes open and finds Joker’s face peering down at him. Blinking, he sits up. “Joker? Oh great. I’m dead, right?”

Joker slowly nods. “Yep. Endless got you.”

“I shoulda known it was him from the way he was SO eager to push your death on me.”

“Yeah, about that…” Joker rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry, dude. I tend to not trust anyone in this game so I took a shot and… yeah. Turns out I didn’t just kill myself, I ended up traumatising you.”

Brody gives a chuckle. “It’s okay. I’ve just never had a sheriff fail to kill me before. It kinda shocked me.”

“I don’t blame you. I guess I’d better be more careful about who I go after next time, huh?”

Brody raises an eyebrow. “You? Careful?”

“I know, I know,” Joker snickers. “I’m probably gonna forget about this in, like, three rounds, tops.”

“I think you’re vastly overestimating your attention span and level of dumbassery.”

“Shut up.”

[fatoujallovv]

fanfiction writer appreciation: skamverse edition

thank you @yasminaselamrani for starting this lil tag 🥺 i read and write elu so that’s what you’re in for here but i’m sending a kiss on the forehead to any writer or reader of anything for being the best 🥺💛

if you’re a writer:

a fic that you’re really proud of:

i know i’m sitting here while i haven’t even finished the fic but close to you just makes me really happy 🥺 it’s obviously not oscar winning movie adaptation worthy in the slightest but i think it’s turned out to be a really fun story and i’ve enjoyed writing it and messing around with social media 🤪

a fic that you were nervous to post:

my lil mental health oneshots rotten work and not to me, not if it’s you (incredibly original titles i know skfjfj) were literally . an excuse for a cathartic feelings dump via my emotional support projection character monsieur lucas lallemant and i felt like i was being to dramatic or insensitive or portraying things badly (even though it was literally my own experiences adskljg idk don’t ask what i was thinking) or being too personal so i was kind of nervous 🥺 but i got a lovely response and being able to share them was really healing for me so i’m so glad i did it 🥺

a fic you wished got more hits/kudos/comments:

i’m super happy with every bit of response i’ve gotten from my writing 🥺 i love all of my comments so so much and all i want to use this space for is to say thank you guys for being the best 🥺

one of your favorite tropes to write:

i think it’s obvious that it’s childhood best friends because both of my chaptered fics have been that sjdjfjsj but i also love myself some fake dating hence my current best friends fake dating au akdjfj

another ship that you don’t write but you’d like to write:

i wish i could write kieutou but i struggle to relate to kieu my’s perspective to be able to write her from an honest and accurate place bc as much as i adore her she is so so different from me and i feel like i can’t get in her head 🤧🤧

one of your abandoned wip you never wrote but wish you did:

i only ever abandoned one thing and it was gonna be a long oneshot where they met in the laundry room of their dorm and then dumbassery ensued and it was gonna be very silly but then i forgot about it so akdjfj mayhaps i should return to her this summer if i have the time

another writer you would love to collaborate with:

@luxandobscurus @lucasotteli and i have literally. planned to collab before and just never made it happen .... besties let’s get on that summer 2021

i would LOVE to do some sort of sm au or something with a cool unique format with miss @vexedtonightmares the queen of sm and galaxy brain concepts!!!!! i would basically be dead weight but i would be like beyond honored to assist her in making magic with her big beautiful brain

if you’re a reader:

a fic (or more) that you love to reread:

i looooove rereading if i can recognize real by @tawmlinsun (i’m linking part two i think oops) i have said it before but it gives me butterflies every time it is the peeeeerfect lil first kiss/getting together fic omg omg

the reread value of all mixed up by @lucasotteli and online love by @vexedtonightmares !!!!! unmatched !!!!! social media au supremacy lichrally go tos when i need a Laff

tag an author you always love reading:

@clairdelalune i know ur movin away from the fandom queen so soz to bring u into this but everything you’ve ever written makes me happy 🥺🥺 ur style and vibes are so . good and heartwarming

@lumierelovers is just an absolutely gorgeous writer and everything she touches is magical 🥺

recommend a story to your followers:

i will recommend lots 😌 (vaguely in order of length from like 1k to like 100k+)

when you kill the lights (and kiss my eyes) by @blanxkey (zaira i frickin miss u pls write more pure poetry 🤧)

thoughts of you aren’t enough by cgsf on ao3 (i think they might be on tumblr but it didn’t let me tag 😔)

open your heart (and let me know you want me here) by @demaury

save us by @luxandobscurus

last dance by @vexedtonightmares (i linked the chap 2 post bc it has the ao3 link but 😌)

maybe it starts now by @lepetitepeach (first part of the series is linked on ao3 bc i don’t think there’s a ficpost)

tag an author you discovered recently:

@fireflysxx is kinda new to writing and i’m so proud of herrrrrr 🤧🤧🤧 i would like to direct your attention to the fic she wrote for me about eliott basically being grumpy lucas’s personal shopper for the day akdjdh: new style

spread the love!

tag someone who inspires you to write:

@yasminaselamrani you literally never stop like i am so impressed you just always have new stories to tell i admire that so much even if i don’t read wtfock i’m sorry 🤧🤧🤧

tag someone who you’ve admired forever:

i don’t want to bother people and i feel like many of the people i’ve had longstanding Big Admiration for i already tagged or isn’t really here anymore 🥺 so just like . everyone i’ve mentioned i admire so much? that’s cheating but idc

tag your writing support:

@luxandobscurus and @lucasotteli the only ones who care as much about elu in 2021 as me and i don’t feel guilty making them help me with my fics KAJDJDJD and @fireflysxx my biggest cheerleader and self proclaimed number one fan you’re always there wanting to see what i’ve made and it’s so encouraging 🥺💛 also @thenerd10 bc u always leave me the sweetest comments EVER and you literally singlehandedly make posting worth it 🤧🤧💛💓💗💓

ok i’m tagging everyone i mentioned 🥺 and i would tag more people but i haven’t seen a lot of my writer friends around in a while and i don’t want to be bothering anyone so please just do this if you see it and want to!!!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned. 

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why. 

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases. 

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one. 

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time. 

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly. 

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L  L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 508

I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.

At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?

But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.

I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.

“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.

“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.

I already want to fastforward.

Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.

Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.

Hate.

HAAAAATE.

Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?

It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*

Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.

For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.

At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.

Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.

Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.

I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.

Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.

And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.

Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.

Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.

LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.

Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.

*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.

Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.

Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.

GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.

OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!

So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?

Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.

Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.

John Bell is really good in this episode.

Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.

Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.

Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.

That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.

Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.

Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!

Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?

“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.

HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.

Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.

My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?

Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.

Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.

Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.

Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?

Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.

Also, can we please have more Adso?

SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!

Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.

So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.

NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.

Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.

Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.

[poledancingsquid]

Wicked Game Fanmix

Look I said I’d make this in 2018 and then life was A LOT but I finally finished it today and frankly it’s still my absolute favourite BFU fic.

If you haven’t read Wicked Game go read it ( and send your adoring praise to @mephsation ) If you’re swerving spoilers do NOT read the rest of this yet bc boy am I about the quote the shit out of my favourite fic and also I’ve written a brief summary of every chapter in case people have forgotten.

If you don’t want to read my reasoning and just want the songs here’s a Spotify playlist

So Chapter one: Shane’s just joined the precinct, when Ryan works out the scene they’re at was by a copycat rather than the Lover Shane responds by just saying “You’re Brilliant.”

We’re gonna be friends- The White Stripes, it’s the beginning of Ryan impressing Shane and they’re already conversing easily, honestly this is the chapter I struggled to find a song for the most.

Chapter two: This is where we meet Jess for the first time and find out about her and Shane’s relationship. It’s also when Ryan establishes that the copycat is shorter than the killer so the song I picked was

Looking up- Paramore, granted this is entirely down to the first lyrics being “Things are looking up oh finally” but it’s a banger anyway

Chapter three: This is when Ryan gets the first email. Ryan also nearly gets stabbed and Shane shoots a suspect, the copycat writes ‘he’s not good enough for you’ in blood.

Chic- Leadley primarily for “We could last forever she could last all week” Jess is so sure she’s better suited to Shane than Ryan is.

Chapter four: The second email arrives, explaining that the Lover has killed a man for the first time, the man looks like Ryan.

One More Murder- Better Than Ezra “One more murder in this town don’t mean a thing” which is what Ryan tries to convince himself after a lookalike is murdered.

Chapter five: This is where Ryan first realises he has a crush on Shane, it’s also the chapter with the press conference where the Lover’s sexuality is raised and when Shane admits he’s questioning is sexuality sending Ryan into a slight spiral based on his fear of being outed.

Would you be so Kind?- Dodie I’m not sure who’s POV I think this applies to more at this point.

Chapter six: This is the chapter where Ryan apologises to Shane for his reaction to him coming out, it is also the chapter where an LAPD officer who is the exact same race as Ryan and looks like him is killed, Ryan throws up.

Fear and Loathing- Marina and the Diamonds This is mostly in relation to Ryan’s fears about coming about though I suppose could also be applied to the whole serial killer killing people who are very similar to him thing.

Chapter seven: This is when Ryan and Shane go on their Not! Date that is definitely a date, it ends in their first kiss and Shane blowing him on the couch “Please don’t make me regret this”.

Brilliant Mind- Furniture throughout the fic Shane is constantly fascinated by how ‘brilliant’ Ryan is and this chapter epitomises that. “ You must be out of your brilliant mind”

Chapter eight: Ryan tells Shane about the homophobia he’s experienced in the past, Jess finds out they spent the night together “woke in an empty bed aching for a presence he has no business missing”. Shane is helping a friend clean their apartment so he goes to meet Jess at a bar and gets spiked.

Far too young to die- Panic! at the disco I went with this song because essentially it’s a recurring theme that Ryan almost dies also the obsessive nature of the verses fit in with Shane’s behaviour “ I've never so adored you, I'm twisting allegories now,I want to complicate you, Don't let me do this to myself”

Chapter nine: This is when Ryan wakes up in the hospital, Shane starts to behave oddly and just says he is working on a theory, he also invites himself over to take care of Ryan, Ryan discovers the cleaning supplies in a publi bin. The chapter ends with Shane revealing that Jess is the copycat and the bombshell of “Schmidtt thinks I’m the lover”

If I lose it- Charlie Simpson A little because of the medical stuff at the start of the Chapter a lot because Shane seems so scared for Ryan and ultimately the uncertaintly at the end of the chapter “ I can't tell you what will happen, To us as the days passed, Please just stay with me.”

Chapter ten: Shane plays the recording of Jess, Ryan plans to spend a night with Jess despite everyone telling him not to. Shane begs Ryan not to be scared of him “no more innocents” Jess texts him that she is going to kill someone if he doesn’t come to her immediately, he locked both their guns in the safe so goes unarmed.

Pressure- Paramore this is frankly one of the most stressful chapters to read because Ryan commits dumbassery after dumbassery and I think this embodies that intense STRESS feeling very well

Chapter eleven:Jess is arrested, Shane almost shoots her in full view of the bodycam, Ryan gets shot and Shane is going on trial to ensure Jess pleads guilty.

Coming Down- Halsey This is where Ryan starts to see a possible darker side to Shane  “I found the Devil, I found him in a lover, And his lips like tangerine, In his color coded speak”

Chapter twelve: This is when it’s officially revealed that Shane’s a murderer, he stands by no innocents killing Leo Tayler with an axe after he caused the deaths of his children.

Monster- Paramore “ You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water We started drowning, not like we'd sink any further” this is the point at which Ryan’s conscience is starting to slip (even if it’s giving Shane more of one)

Chapter thirteen: With no more murders they are eventually taken of the Lover case Jess’s trial is over quickly and she pleads guilty, Shane’s trial drags on, Ryan finds out he killed a criminal in one of his first weeks on duty, he’s found not guilty, Ryan sees Shane at the firing range and says that he wants Leo to be dead, he gets home from work to find Shane in his LAPD uniform.  The head is delivered to Ryan

Crazy=Genius- Panic! at the Disco, this is a bit of a summary of Shane’s character throughout honestly but also this really feels like the turning point of no return, Shane would do anything for Ryan including murder, and it’s through his ‘genius’ he was found not guilty. 

Chapter fourteen: As they investigate Leo Taylor’s murder Ryan begins to suspect Shane, this is where he quizzes Shane, discovers a knife in his home that isn’t his, later whilst investigating the deaths of sex wokers Ryan runs into a building without back up, Shane shoots Douglas and Ryan basically asks him to kill Murray

One Little Lie- Simple Creatures because at this point Ryan basically knows Shane is a murderer he just gets very good at lying to himself “I tell myself one little lie and the pain don’t phase me”

Chapter fifteen: So basically whilst fucking Shane Ryan thanks him for killing Douglas and then he bites him until it draws blood because Shane asked him to/ They manage to book a holiday eventualy, Ryan finds out Shane has a ssecond phone and saves the number. They go literally everywhere Ryan loves: Knotts Berry Farm, A Lakers Game, Disneyland there’s a car crash and Ryan stops to save the victims. Shane admits he wouldn’t have stopped. When they’re due to return to work Shane leaves early. When Ryan gets to work there’s a rung on his desk and email from Shane. He tries to call him on both phones “ I would’ve said yes”

Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson look when I started this playlist this was the only song I was certain was fitting for this particular part of the story because in his own way Shane is trying to protect Ryan by leaving. “ And I want you to know, You couldn't have loved me better, But I want you to move on, So I'm already gone”

Chapter sixteen: Shane watched him for ten years. Ryan remarries after moving to Chicago although he still wears Shane’s ring around his neck. Another killer goes after him. Shane finds out and it culminates in his shooting Weber. Ryan instantly knows it’s Shane and makes a come hither motion.

I felt younger when we met- Waterparks Ryan has had the guilt of hiding what he knows about Shane for a decade, he still cares about him but it kills him inside “ Do you see, You're the reason I can't sleep?, Lose it where your head should be”

Chapter seventeen:Ryan and Shane meet in a bar, Shane tells him the names of everybody he killed, they go home together after Ryan tries and fails ot arrest him, Shane chokes him until he’s either unconscious or dead and turns himself in the next day

Pompeii- Bastille This chapter is straight up just dark nostalgia (which frankly you can inject into my veins) “And if you close your eyes, Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all” In the dark between my sheets

[stella-monstrum]

Bobby Roe’s ‘Underestimated Gem’, “The Houses October Built”; [1hr 31mins, Rated R] (2014)

Admittedly, there is a lot to unpack in this review. 

I found myself at the relatable point of endless scrolling through horror films on streaming apps, hoping to find something that really challenged and rattled my thinking afterwards. Obviously, film taste is different for everyone, and I am CERTAINLY way too easy to scare. But this wasn’t a film made to elicit jumps—or screams for that matter.

I went into this viewing with a couple expectations. First of all, Hulu’s trailer for the movie was enough to grab my interest by itself. The clips of this group of friends exploring haunted horror attractions and the brief introduction to the eerie actors along with it pulled me in.

[Anecdote; Around the same time that the film came out, I’d gone to my first haunted house. I was separated from my group, and thrown into a “butcher shed,” and proceeded to have the living shit scared out of me. One of the actors knew that their mates had gone too far and pretty much came in to save the day. Afterwards, I thought it was the coolest thing and started to laugh at my own fear—which plays massively to the appeal to watch.]

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Before I go into the review... 

I will say that the thriller theme to this film made me squirm and made it difficult to watch all the way through. So if you’re squeamish, have trauma-like responses, or have epilepsy, proceed with caution or skip this one altogether. 

This film also contains a bunch of NSFW themes, torture, and graphic images (which basically delivers its main purpose, I guess).

(Written by Stella. Edited by Jacob J )

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The Cast:

Brandy Schaeffer as Brandy

Zach Andrews as Zach

Bobby Roe as Bobby

Mikey Roe as Michael (aka Mikey)

Jeff Larson as Jeff

The casting is fairly straightforward, with the actors playing overly exaggerated versions of themselves. Though technically under the lead of director Bobby Roe, the cast all had a hand in writing the film. Pulling double duty is a feat in itself. (It was unfortunate to find in my research that, after the 2017 sequel, the majority of the cast just dropped off the face of the Earth.)

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Summary:

The five childhood friends from Ohio seek out the thrill of the Halloween season, traveling through the deep south of Texas in an RV. They’re stocked up on junk food, booze, drugs, and pure joy that they’re setting out on this journey. For the six days leading up to Halloween, they visit six attractions in the Lone Star state. (technically) 

The team begins at a bar in Tyler, Texas, to celebrate the beginning of their trip. In their wasted stupor (and even while sober throughout the film), they make light and joke about how these “haunted attractions” are tame and as fake as the horror films they strive to represent. (Meta as hell, right?)

With each visit, the attractions grow scarier and freakier. Somehow, they piss off a whole gang of creepy-ass characters. Despite being essentially in the middle of nowhere, the aforementioned creep squad (we’re talking clowns, bloody bunnies, backwoods Vorhees groupies, etc.) stalk and terrorize the traveling quintet. The group moves on toward the ultimate attraction, The Blue Skeleton, which they desperately try to find. This leads them on a mystery hunt through word of mouth (and an online horror attraction forum, to the secret location). They eventually wind up heading towards the deep, dark heart of Louisiana, where The Blue Skeleton exceeds every fear that they wanted in the first place—and ends up being their worst nightmare.

The film also gives a small nod to George Romero, the man who changed the way that zombies were seen in pop culture and films, during their visit to a zombie-themed paintball attraction. On top of that, the creators made the film on a very small budget (allegedly). It was given a brief theatrical release in 2014, but years later became a niche gem with a continuing following amongst horror film fans.

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[Likes & Dislikes]

It was incredibly hard to want to complain, consider how the film left my state of mind after watching. But, ultimately, I had to find something for the sake of this review. So I’ll start with the dislikes first, because it’s so worth saving the best for last in this circumstance.

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[Dislikes]:

1.) The first-person filming: Although capturing themes and moments perfectly to keep suspense, it made me super queasy.

- Now, this nitpick isn’t an end-all film-ruiner. With any first person/found-footage deal, there’s a guarantee to feel the rollercoaster like adventure in your gut. (I recommend having a good bowl of ramen or some ginger tea on hand.)

- The filming style 100% captures and cranks every moment of fear, suspense, and terror. It makes you feel like you’re a part of the team. (Found-footage/first-person filming was the original VR, fight me.)

2.) The full on disrespect that the group shows to the attractions.

First attraction: They find a ladder (that’s conveniently left unsupervised, despite not being for patron use). Mikey decides to climb it and steals a megaphone as well. He causes a scene atop the ticket booth and attempts to get a crowd shot for their film at the Haunt House in Caddo Mills, Texas. This pisses off an entire group of creepy-ass clowns that follow them back to their RV. Living up to his unspoken title of Mister Dumbass, Mikey tries to confront them.

● Second attraction: One of the clowns and a broken porcelain doll actress proceeded to follow the crew to this location in Eureka, Texas. Mikey confronts the “doll” when they find her on the side of the road. She follows onto the bus, screams, then slowly leaves.

● Third Attraction: As the group enters Phobia, located by US Highway 248, they’re told not to film past the point of entry. The camera shuts off. When the camera (one that Bobby set up on the RV) comes back on, we see Mikey trying to hook up with one of the contortionist girls. Afterward, when Zach finds out more information about the acclaimed Blue Skeleton, they get confronted by yet another pissed off clown accusing Mikey of filming when they were told not to.

There’s an entire slew of other incidents that I won’t dive into, but I will say one final con:

3.) Brandy just minds her own business the whole time, yet gets the backlash and crossfire from the boys’ shenanigans and dumbassery. 

- Honestly the more she got caught in the middle, the more I felt looming dread. 

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[Likes/Loves:]

Amidst the (albeit small) annoyances, there was so much that I loved and enjoyed about this film. 

1.) Complete out-of-the-gate blurred lines of the entertainment-yet-fear that we seek out in haunted houses.

● Starting from the opening scenes, there’s VHS like footage of fun and upbeat tours from haunted attractions, which evolves into a slow burn of much much darker and horrible secrets/tragedies from them: 

- An employee found hung, mistaken as a prop;

- Houses allegedly hiring murderers and criminals without background checks; 

- & Actors going as far as breaking bones (but not killing) to scare patrons.

2.) Continuity that never strayed from the film’s theme and/or purpose. 

● Through all six attractions that the crew visit, the actors that they seemingly managed to piss off (looking at the real male hubris issues here) follow and stalk them whilst traveling in the middle of nowhere—even all the way to Louisiana.

● With each haunt, the scare level increases, starting with fun and simple baby-type scares and progressing to pure anxiety and nightmare fuel. 

(As an aside, I’m honestly still mad that there was no seizure warning for the amount of strobe lights they filmed in the name of fear.)

3.) Consistent foreshadowing

● At the very beginning, they show a gut-wrenching video of a bloodied and tied-up Brandy being shoved into a trunk

● Also, the film seemingly always lingers on Brandy, which gives a small clue as to the haunt creeps having an unhealthy obsession with her.

● At the first attraction, The Haunt House, while the crew films with high spirits, they convince Brandy to playfully get into one of the prop coffins, thinking it’ll be funny. Then the actor nearby shuts the coffin until she screams to let her out. 

      - Deeper into their travels, they joke about how much they’d want to get paid to be buried alive. At the end, that’s exactly what happens.

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(Final Thoughts)

There are so many heart- and gut-wrenching moments that force you to never look away from the screen. If I’m being honest, the style and story that Bobby Roe created is honestly on par with something you’d see from the acclaimed likes of Kubric and Zombie, among others.

 This is such an underrated find. Minus my nitpicks, I’m giving this [9/10] stabs.

 (This is the most I’ve been shaken up by a film in a good while.)

Want to get lost and vicariously (not literally) shit your pants? This is the film for you. 

[Just don’t piss any clowns off on your way there,K?]

[ofsamwinchester]

Day of the Dead

SUMMARY: Sam goes to visit Charlie at her manor, but encounters a familiar foe.  TRIGGERS: Death, blood, honestly not too bad all things considered. I wrote this when i should be sleeping so maybe my dumbassery should be a trigger WRITTEN WITH: Me, myself, and I. MENTIONS: @ofdeathstouch @ofwaywardsons @zztophat

November 2nd had always been a bad day for Sam. His mother died on this day. Jessica died on this day. The woman he was falling for currently had even died on this day. He was always so worried about what that day might do to those who were close to him. He never thought about what it might do to himself. 

The day started out ordinarily enough. It hadn’t been that long since what had happened at the party, so Sam had made it a habit of visiting Charlie frequently to make sure she was okay. On a day like today, he found it especially important to check up on her. After all, it was a hard day for her too on top of it being her birthday. He took the time to buy her flowers, a bouquet of lavender because it reminded him of her, and a new dress to replace the one that had gotten blood all over it. He’d told her that he’d take her dancing at some point to make up for the fact that she didn’t get to have fun at the party like everyone else because of him, and she couldn’t exactly do something like that when her dress had been ruined. 

He parked his car and started walking towards the manor. A man was standing at the edge of Charlie’s property, back facing Sam. Sam couldn’t recognize him, but he got a bad feeling. He felt a pull towards the man. “Hey,” said Sam, trying to talk to the man casually, even if Sam could tell the man was a demon, it didn’t mean he was necessarily doing anything wrong. Not all demons were terrible, and Sam was trying to keep himself from consuming demon blood. It’d be better if he didn’t start a fight here. “Can I help you?” he asked instead.

The man chuckled. “You know, I think you can.” He turned around. “Howdy, Sammy.” Sam didn’t recognize the man. He didn’t look like anyone Sam knew, but the way he said that was so familiar. A chill ran up Sam’s spine. “Actually, I think we can help each other.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You see, I’ve been keeping an eye on you, Sammy. I know what you can do, how you’ve been doing it.” Sam kept his expression neutral, if this was one of Lucifer’s demons trying to catch him out on what he’d been doing to acquire demon blood, he wasn’t going to admit to it. “Oh, don’t look like that. It’s good. Healthy. Strong! I think you should keep doing it, actually. Just . . . redirect it.” 

“What do you mean?” Sam had no intention of doing whatever this guy wanted him to do, but it was better to know what he was trying to do. 

“I mean, think bigger. I heard that you’re not Lucifer’s biggest fan.” That might’ve been true, at least it was before. Sam still didn’t trust Lucifer completely. It was hard to disconnect Lucifer from the one from his own world, but he knew they weren’t the same. This universe’s Lucifer was kinder. He cared more about his family, and as far as he could tell, he preferred for there to be peace here. Despite being the leader of Hell, Lucifer had taken Sam’s orders without questions or complaints. If he took a moment to think about that, he’d realize how crazy that was. Sam didn’t think this Lucifer was really all that bad, even if it would still take time for him to even think about being comfortable around the Devil.

“I’m not killing Lucifer,” Sam said firmly. He was pretty sure he couldn’t do that by himself even if he wanted to. The most he’d really been able to do to the Lucifer of his own universe was trap him, and that in and of itself had put Sam in situations he never wanted to end up in again. Sam wouldn’t do that here, even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. 

“Don’t get your wires crossed here. I’m not looking for another soldier. We have our army. We just need someone to lead them. Too many of them are followers, and if we could make Lucifer fight on two fronts, we could-”

“I said I’m not interested,” Sam cut him off. He didn’t care whoever this was or what he wanted with Lucifer, but it wasn’t something Sam wanted a part of. He had enough issues as it was.

“What if I told you I could sweeten the pot?” the demon asked. “Your powers. I could teach you how to use them. Better, make you stronger. Hell, protecting that girl of yours wouldn’t be a problem, and she wouldn’t be the only one. You could be able to save people, Sammy.”

Sam frowned before realization hit him. “Azazel.” It only made sense, the familiarity, the way he was trying to recruit Sam. Azazel blinked, and his eyes turned yellow. “You’re still trying to play me.” Sam scoffed. Of course. Even now, even now, his life was getting jerked around by someone else. “What happened with Jo, that was your fault, wasn’t it?” Sam didn’t doubt that Jo could’ve found out how to trap a reaper on her own, but he didn’t think that would be her first solution to her problem. That was Azazel’s doing. “Why? Another one of your tests?” Sam practically spat at the demon. He was tired of this.

“What can I say?” Azazel shrugged. “I’m full of great ideas.”

“Not this time.” Sam smirked, reaching for his demon blade that he generally kept on him. He frowned when he didn’t feel it there. He patted down other areas and still found no demon blade. The only other weapon he had on him . . . was himself.

“You look like you lost something there, Sammy.” Azazel smirked. “Here, let me help you.” He pulled out his own knife, cutting open his arm. “This is what I gave you when you were a baby. Of course, they dashed those plans out from under me. I could’ve made a bunch of you, if Lucifer had just listened to me, I could’ve been his right hand man. He’ll learn from his mistakes eventually when Aamon takes over. You don’t want to miss out on this ride, trust me.”

Sam shook his head. “No.” He wouldn’t take anymore demon blood like this. He was trying to stop, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. The hallucinations he had did their best to convince him to drink the blood. It would make him stronger. It would get him through this. What were a few drops when it came to defeating his mother’s murderer? Jessica’s murderer? “Go to Hell.”

“Hmm, been there. Done that.” Azazel shrugged. He still seemed to think he could convince Sam somehow.

Sam could hear a car pulling up nearby, but it didn’t distract him as he held his hand out towards Azazel. Azazel laughed at first, thinking Sam couldn’t do anything against him, but then he started to choke as Sam’s fingers slowly tightened. He looked more concerned for a second, but then he laughed more. “You don’t have the juice, kid.”

“I don’t care.” He kept trying, using every ounce of power within himself to bring Azazel down. Blood started to drip from Sam’s nose as he overexerted himself. Azazel was right. He was running on fumes, but it didn’t matter. Sam would kill himself to do this. His ears were ringing as he pulled Azazel out of his vessel. Smoke billowed up high, but Sam kept going. His vision was blurring. His head was spinning, but all that mattered to him now was ending Azazel. The smoke pooled together on the ground and burned into it. There was nothing left of Azazel.

There wasn’t much left of Sam either. He turned a little to see Dean and Zatanna coming up to him. Oh. He’d done this in front of them then. He’d meant to tell Dean on his own terms but it was apparently too late for that. He’d disappointed his brother again. Dean got to see the monster underneath it all yet again. He opened his mouth to apologize, to explain, something. Instead, he choked on blood, and collapsed. Everything went black.

November 2nd could add another to its list of dead.

[lovinmullen]

the pacific: part one, live blog because i said so

he looked so pissed when he has to make the sign of the cross to mary..... I KNOW ITS BECAUSE HES FALLING AWAY FROM HIS RELIGION but all i can think is undercover protestant????? i hate that i find myself funny stfu tom like he’s some angsty protestant like ‘this is fucking bullshit why the fuck DO THEY PRAY TO MARY’ which..... is a huge missconsperion but i’m not gonna get into that right now but hey if anyone needs an rs teacher? i got you

are you telling me i could have heard the most BEAUTIFUL monologue about the saint mary’s church and her plans for the day as well as being able to see that sweet sweet smile on vera’s face for longer but it was cut short because bobo went ‘i joined the marines’ GOOD FOR YOU BUT.....

rOBERT...... you really gonna give her THAT look...... IN GODS HOUSE is this allowed? is THIS ALLOWED???? if you don’t say it in the voice of the vine we can not be fteejssn sorry i don’t make the rules

#BOB: i wanna catholic girl that go to church AND READ HER BIBLE (is that even right??? omg i can only remember the jewish one *in the voice of ryan reynolds severely slowed down* FUUUUUCCCKKK)

on a real note this man saw her at church ONCE and his ass went finna wife up like........ take her out to dinner first. OR AT LEAST ASK HER HOW SHE IS IN THE LETTERS like we get it you’re emo, the aussie won’t shag you anymore and you keep pissing your pants. i understand it’s a hard not life or how ever that song in annie goes but bro.........(this is obviously a joke i am dumb of ass please ignore me i love you m8 and i’m sorry you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of everyone but chuckler shifts to momma mode so you good)

can we please acknowledge jon’s acting..... sir? PHENOMENAL he’s not even saying anything??? he’s just looking at the lt yet i’m near tears

gentle reminder i love the basilones🥺🥺🥺 the way they are so supportive even though they don’t understand and they are scared for him but they accept and respect that john wants more, needs more and they’re putting their own fears aside so he can spread his wings for no better turn of phrase.

‘just get the job done, and come home to us’ the way his head falls and he has to stop his voice from breaking. i’m s fucking bitter

THE HAND HOLD MY GOD

leckie:((( look hes a bastard and he pisses me off but no matter how much i bully him i do love him a lot and the complete disregard and uncaring nature from his dad breaks my heart. a handshake then gone just like that? HIS FACE BEFORE ‘there’s a war on everybodies got to make sacrifices’ he looks so hurt and broken baby

GENE MY SWEET SWEET BABY GOD THIS SO SAD ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO. my baby just wants to do his part :( CUT THE CAMERAS DEAD ASS I WILL CRY BABY PLEASE DON’T CRY JUST WAIT A FEW MORE EPS my heart really do be looking like: <eugene3

‘gene, supper’s ready’ ma’am i’m sorry but he does not give a shit

SIDNEY MY SWEET SWEET BOY get in a pram if you’re going to be so baby. look while i love him so much and i know he didn’t mean it to be !!!!! he’s just small of brain !!! but when he says “i wish we where going together” that lowkey rubs it in man......... like he’s already heartbroken PLEASE STOP but the “yeah well you take care of yourself greaser” - “you don’t have to worry about me” IM SOFT🥺

“wOWoWOoOOO COME ON GUYS I WORKED HARD FOR THESE ORANGES”

“guadal...kenel...guadal BLEEHHH” didn’t realise hoos was recreating the audience of my english speaking exam. LOOK I REALISE NOW TALKING ABOUT STOICISM TO A BUNCH OF 15 YEAR OLDS WHO DON’T CARE WAS A BAD IDEA BUT I GOT A DESTINCTION SO FUCK YOU TO THAT ONE KID

chuckler baby..... i’m in love with a dumbass. also the hit across the head. i’m soft (lads lets take a shot every time i say i’m soft in this liveblog ITS GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT jk drink responsibly and all that jazz or be dick winters that’s cool too!! heck do a babe heffron and get yourself a caprisun you deserve it)

“professor leckie” please don’t fuel his ego HE DOES NOT NEED IT

HOLD UP I NEED TO SWITCH FROM THE TV TO MY LAPTOP TO SCREEN CAP THIS SHIT LEW MY SON HAVE YOU BEEN BITING INTO AN ORANGE LIKE IT IS AN APPLE??? I WOULD BE MAD BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE on a real note though can you eat the skin???? will he be okay?????

okay two hoos things: 1.) he looks SO DONE and i’m living for it 2.) can we talk about jacobs nose..... IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT JACOBS NOSE

okay the boats scene give me saving private ryan flashbacks i came out here to have a good time AND I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME oh wait never mind runner just went ‘i could really use a stiff one right now’ i hate that but he saved the day with his dumbassery so thank you good sir i love you with all my heart

fun fact my how co ranking goes chuckler, runner, hoos, leckie

OH FUCK I FORGOT SID SJAKSJSJ y’know for someone who talks about how much they love sid i forget about him a lot. thank you for blessing my screen with your pretty face it helped me remember you exist LMAO guys my memory is not okay i’m actually concerned...... but more importantly i’d put him between hoos and leckie in the ranking :,)

call it what it is. babyism. y’all better stop before i cuddle you LOOK AT THIS SHIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

runner is the only bitch i respect in this house he’s so fucking funny

‘they’ve? poisoned? a? billion?! coconuts?’ that poor son of a bitch BLESS HIM don’t shoot the messenger okay? he seems like a sweet bean

that shot of hoos, leckie and chuckler looking down at the camera into the bunker? my sexuality. my left brain: tomas stop thirsting it’s an intense and serious show. my righ brain: but?? they’re pretty?? me nodding smugly and in agreement: BUT THEY’RE PRETTY.

THIS MAN AND HIS GUM I CAN’T why is that me. i am the gum man at my school that sounds so weird ajsksjsj i just always have gum. ALSO spearmint is superior to normal mint. NORMAL MINT BURNS LIKE ITS SPICY BRO. bubblemint is superior superior but that’s more expensive rip😭😭😭😭😭😭

‘it’s like the fourth of july’ nice to my boy sufjan getting some rep he is king of the gays after all mr i can’t explain the state that i’m in the state of my heart he was my best friend. we all owe him EVERY parallel on this goddamn app. jk there’s one other king of the gays and that is demon! shane (bfu). no this is not up for debate

the shot of the ships is phenomenal. that’s one thing i do have to credit hbo on. the special effects and cinematography are beautiful and so fucking impressive like???

‘we’re killing them’ - ‘where’s the navy?’ / ‘gone we lost four cruisers’ GOD I HAVE SUCH A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP FOR FORSHADOWING LIKE SOMETIMES ITS SO SEXY AND OTHER TIMES IM LIKE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO AWAY

WHY DOES SID LOOK OVER HIS SHOLDER BEFORE TAKING THE WINE SIR NO ONE IS GONNA TELL YOU OFF AT WAR FOR DRINKING UNDERAGE like???? i don’t think an 18 year old having a swig is their biggest problem bless his heart

‘can’t fight em drunk don’t fight em at all’

bill if you are reading this i’m free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night, when i am free😌😘🥰😳🥺👉👈😤💘💓🙄🥴

FUCK I FORGOT HOW LOUD THE GUN SHOTS WHERE THINK I JUST WOKE THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD JC

‘skipper? skipper are you okay?? goddamnit he’s lost it come on’ :(((((

god the shots in this show really are phenomenal. i know it’s very gory and very hard to watch at times but it definitely has the best shots of the three en mi opinion. i’m a slut for the close up of dick screaming ‘move out’ with rounds flying. like who’s ever call that was? outstanding but like that’s just one? the pacific has so many emotive and excellently shot scenes.

JOG ON. STOP. IM SO SOFT IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS NOT OKAY. MOMMA CHUCKLER I CAN’T🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

how seemlessly the scenes flow one after the other despite being opposite ends of the spectrum i DID NOT GIVE TP ENOUGH CREDIT like yeah it makes me sad as fuck but from a production point of view the writing? the acting? the cinematography? DAMN

how visibly torn and pissed off hoosier looks over the other marines tormenting the japanese soldier, stringing out his death when he’s obviously in a lot of mental as well as physical pain? the only bitch i respect in this house.

okay so like? while the shot is scarring both for him and the audience to see that kind of effortless murder it was the right thing to do? it’s better then have him be tormented and it will help leckie in the long run? how broken he looks though? like the distance is his eye and the way he swollows....... WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS HUH???? brilliant james BRILLIANT

the way i just said ‘if biology would have permitted it i would be asking you to have my babies’ at the sight of a man shoving smokes up his nose....... now ladies theyzies and gents, a prime reason to show why you should do your work. this is tom. tom didn’t do his work. with nothing to do all day tom became bat shit..... don’t be like tom. okay like it is cute though COME ON

HOW PROUD AND SMUG AND HAPPY HE LOOKS AT HIS PREMOTION ‘yes ma’am i am a corporal’ HE IS SO BABY AND FOR WHAT. oops sorry lads looks like i dropped this:

the shot of leckie swimming in the water fading off to the shot of the dead bodies mirroring his movement but obviously a life less version OOOH IMMA SUE

god love me some men with black lungs LECKIE DO BE LOOKING GOOD LIGHTING THAT CIG DAMN

“i have a girlfriend lucky me” HOOS IS LIKE MY GAY ASS YOU SURE????

“you guys step aside the real marines are here now” “AND I’VE BEEN HERE FOR SOME TIME” that shuts iconic even i said wahayyyy

also runner..... i am looking RESPECTFULLY👁👁

you’re not special leckie we all want hoosier

sister👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

baby gene :,( YOU GINGER LIL BEBE I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

can you really call yourself a hbo war an if you don’t sing along at the end... ITS A TUNE also hoos’ voice...... its about the drawl....... 

[me-and-my-gaster]

I don't know jack shit about homestuck but here you go! 3, 27 and 74! (I hope the questions apply to you) Oh and also 40 because I like when you ramble about ships even if I don't know those ships! ^3^

The 100 Homestuck Asks!

3 - How many times have you read HS?

It’s hard to count, I guess? I started reading it once and had to stop after the Cascade (about halfway). Then I re-read the first half to ‘get it’ when I read about the Alpha Kid’s session and finished the whole thing. Then I often worked with a YT queue of ‘Let’s Read Homestuck’ playing in the background. And I also often jump in and read a page or a hundred when my friend who is currently reading the whole thing for the first time reminds me of something awesome. So... Personally, fully, with my own two eyes with no breaks (that was a mighty binge, I tell you)? Once. Overall... hard to tell.

27 - Favorite carapacian?

I’d say The Mayor, because everybody loves the Mayor and the Mayor deserves all the love. I do also have a weakness for the Windswept Questant (White Queen) because her design is very pretty.

74 -  Earth C headcanons?

Everybody lived happily ever after, the end. Also, this was only the first planet they inhabited, later on, they traveled further to explore their new Universe. Good shit, good adventures, good fun.

40 - BROTP?

Ho boy. You like me ranting about ships and you picked one of the topics I can rant about A LOT.

Dave & Rose - they behave like siblings, squabble, talk shit, whine about each other, but despite that, both are ready to maul a bitch for the other AND die to keep the other one alive. 11/10.

Dirk & Roxy - they gave each other a hard time but boy if I don’t love how deep their pride and respect goes when it comes to one another. Especially since they grew up in similar circumstances and GET each other in ways that nobody else could. Good sibs again. Kick ass, chew gum, and have unhealthy coping mechanisms together.

Meowrails - at first I thought Equius was too overbearing towards Nepeta and that he was trying to keep her on ‘a leash’. But then I reminded myself that he kept her safe from the goddamn revenge spiral Vriska started and if Nepeta really wanted to do something, she would. I like the difference in height and personality between them. Nepeta being a very small, active, extroverted, and open one is a good balance for Equius’ big body and proper, stiff, and formal behavior. There are also those little things you notice like Nepeta having a blue tail, which meant Equius used his skills to help her with the Lioness life. Like how they’re usually shown together. Like how Equius trying to protect her while simultaneously knowing he’s too weak to keep her safe by his side, so he sends her away. Like how Nepeta was following him anyway and was ready to maul a mad clown because her moirail was hurt. All of it. I just really like them and I’m glad most of the fic writers always keep them together. 

Dave & Dirk - jesus wept, that one long-ass talk between them at the very end of the story hit me so hard. Both of them talking about Bro, about Alpha Dave about how they grew up and what are their expectations of each other. This was one of the best convos in the whole thing for me. I wish I could see more of them, cause there’s so much good shit that can happen. Every fic with Dave and Dirk being good brothers in any older/younger configuration is A+ content for me.

John & Karkat - I know JohnKat is a very fun and nice ship and I don’t blame anybody for preferring those two as a romantic couple but... there’s something for me with them being close friends (or moirails, please gods, yes). They really had a very good relationship in the story, one that had a lot of buildup and growth. One of my favorite convos comes from their interactions. (hi karkat!) They are both leaders of their respective groups, self-proclaimed or not and they did work together (with a lot of help from Jade, that is) to figure out how to save everybody’s asses. They also seem to balance each other out, or at least John is a good balance for Karkat’s unending anger rants. Karkat is also a lot smarter than John and isn’t afraid to point out the other’s dumbassery, so there’s that. What also appeals to me in the idea of them being moirails is how it could be a lovely way to work through John “I Am Not A Homosexual” Egbert’s internalized masculinity stereotypes.

Now, let’s delve deep into the BROTPs that didn’t have much material in the comic.

Sollux & Dave - I didn’t give this pair any thought until I’ve read a few good fics with them being in a pale quadrant, and let me tell you... this shit’s good. Those two are assholes on the outside and would probably be the duo that annoys the everloving shit out of everybody in the close vicinity just with their banter. And I just think they’re neat.

Davesprite & Hal - those two would have hit it off immediately, even if only for being the fifth wheel in their respective “kids set”. Both seem more bitter than their ‘alpha’ counterparts. Both also seem more mature, due to being a bit older/wiser but also a little bit more broken. Both also got mighty forgotten by everybody which, not gonna lie, hurts me a lot. I have a lot of feelings about Davesprite and how much he went through and I also have a lot of feelings about Hal, who’s both a human stuck in the shades and an AI at the same time. I just wish to see the two interact and be bros they really need. They should be happy, dammit!

Roxy & Eridan - the scarf and sniper rifle duo! Ok, I love both of them because they are my comfort characters for various reasons and their stories hit home very hard, so I am mighty biased. But... They both have issues that seem to be polar opposites for the most parts and I really dig the idea of them moirailing the shit out of each other. Roxy being a very open person who is first to make friends would have no issues with befriending Eridan “Water Asshole” Ampora any time of the day. And I think he needs somebody who would listen to him properly and attack him with too much love at any waking moment but also somebody he would have to be actually responsible for. Also, like I said, both are snipers who also use another extra specibi, so I think they would make a lovely power BROTP. 

Also, I do love the idea of Eridan painting Roxy’s nails because she never could get it right herself because she was either drunk or running with pumpkins and the polish looked shitty immediately after she applied it.

Ok, that’s about it when it comes to the BROTPs from the top of my head. Thank you for your ask!

[gamer-gulls]

The story of my marriage in Skyrim

So, I recently experienced a series of events in Skyrim that motivated me to create a tumblr account just so I could share them. So strap in, it’s gonna be a doozy. (If you don’t feel like reading this novel of a post, just scroll down to the last two paragraphs, they pretty much sum up the whole story. But I personally recommend you get the backstory as well.)

It all started when I was deciding who to marry in Skyrim. I had just murdered my previous husband, dragged him into the lake, and gotten myself another amulet of Mara. (Yes, I did feel insanely guilty for doing this.) I had narrowed my decision down to the furries Companions, but it was still hard for me to choose. I furthered narrowed my choice down by the extremely important factor of how hot they were. When I narrowed it down to Aela, Farkas, and Vilkas, I ruled Aela out because she was simply not thicc enough. So, I had it down to the brothers, but I couldn’t for the life of me pick one. 

I lamented this choice for hour. Just one. How does one decide between an intelligent, eloquent, confident warrior, and Farkas? I weighed in my mind the personalities of the otherwise identical brothers. Finally, the answer was as clear to me as it probably is to you. I chose the superior brother, Farkas. I couldn’t resist his blatant stupidity, lack of emotional intelligence, and violent tendencies. In all seriousness, I found him absolutely adorable with his puppy-like personality. I also have a thing for dumbasses.

So, the decision was made, I talked to the dude at the temple to Mara, and the last step was to attend my wedding. This is where the true fuckery began. You see, when choosing a dumbass to be my husband, I failed to foresee the full extent of his dumbassery. I’m sure the incidents that follow were all the result of the hundreds of mods I have polluted my game with, but I’d love to imagine that this is all just canon how Farkas is. 

I arrived at my wedding, everything seemed normal, my groom was there, along with three random people I didn’t remember ever helping. It was perfect. The cutscene began, and the ceremony commenced. Then, halfway through the cutscene, after we had agreed to marry each other, Farkas fucking turned around and left. He didn’t say anything, just casually walked out the door. Through the varying degrees of “what the fuck?” in my mind, I came to the conclusion that either my game glitched and he left prematurely, or he was too dumb to understand that he had to fully attend his own wedding. 

After the cutscene ended, I went outside to see if I could find him. I assumed he was making his was back to Jorrvaskr. Oh boy, I was wrong. I couldn’t find this bitch ANYWHERE. I looked through Riften, scoured the path from Riften to Whiterun, and looked everywhere in Whiterun. Forkass was nowhere to be found. At this point I was honestly offended. I was losing my grasp on reality, thinking, “did this mf really flee skyrim just so he didn’t have to marry me?”  Distressed as I was, I had to get on with my life and save Skyrim. I tried to marry Vilkas, but the game wouldn’t let me. 

I proceeded with the main quest, along with doing some smaller side quests. Now, I’m not too big into roleplaying in games, but I’d imagine that these quests would have taken my character at least a few months. (That’ll be important later, just keep that in mind.)  At one point, I needed to turn on quest markers for the Thieve’s Guild. When looking at my quests, I realized that I could turn on quest markers for The Companions, and it would mark the locations of Vilkas, Aela, and Farkas. When I turned my quest markers on, Vilkas and Aela were in Jorrvaskr as usual, and Farkas was in some random fucking location between Riften and Windhelm. 

I rode out to go find my missing dumbass husband, and when I found him, I had to pause my game to cry laughing. This dumb bitch, the motherfucker, this absolute fucking walnut was standing in the middle of the woods, with his face directly up against a tree. If he moved any closer to this tree, he would be inside of it. When I approached, he turned to me, half of his face clipping into the tree, and said,"Married. It isn't what I thought it would be, but I'm happy.” WELL YEAH, NO SHIT IT WASN’T WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT’D BE. YOU LEFT HALFWAY THROUGH THE WEDDING TO STICK YOUR FACE IN A TREE. I DIDN’T THINK IT’D BE LIKE THIS EITHER.

After that situation, I told him we would live in my house in Falkreath. He told me he’d meet me there, and promtly went to Jorrvaskr. I told him to follow me, fast traveled to my house, walked inside, and dismissed him from following me. Thankfully he stayed at my house from that point forward, but he has yet to figure out where the beds are and he hasn’t slept through any of the nights I’ve been there. 

Earlier I said I don’t lose my mind over roleplaying in Skyrim, but I couldn’t help but put myself in the shoes of my character in this situation. I mean, Imagine: You’re in love with Farkas, and he admits to being in love with you. You agree to get married, and you couldn’t be any happier about it. You show up to your wedding, everyone’s already there. Then, during the ceremony, the absolute oaf turns around and walks out the door. You run through the streets of Riften looking for him. (At this point you’re well acquainted with his stupidity, you’re thinking he probably forgot he was at his wedding, left, and got lost on his way home.) You search the path back to Jorrvaskr. You search the whole city of Whiterun, yet your love is nowhere to be found. You must accept this truth, and reluctantly you move on with your duties as dragonborn. (Just forget that I tried to marry Vilkas it’s not important) 

You spend months bettering Skyrim. You fight bandits, dragons, the undead, and all types of ill-meaning foes. One day, you’re on your way back from an adventure. You’re taking a shortcut through the woods, and out of the corner of your eye you see...him. You rush towards the man in the woods, wanting to be sure of his identity. Yet, deep down you know. You know it is your long lost husband. How? What other man but Farkas would be standing in the middle of the woods with his head pressed against a tree. You call out to him, tears in your eyes. He turns to you and says, "Married. It isn't what I thought it would be, but I'm happy.” You beg him to come home, after leaving your wedding and spending months lost in the woods with his face against a tree. He obliges, but is too dumb to get to your house, and ends up at Jorrvaskr. You try again, this time personally escorting him to your home. He smiles at you, and warms his hands a bit too close to the fire. You spend the next few weeks in bliss alongside your husband, even if he doesn’t know how to sleep in a bed yet. He’ll figure it out eventually, and for now, you’re happy.