#save me alice asylum

[hardlygaming]

Alice: Madness Returns (2011) - Billingsgate Docks

[captainjacklyn]

Another DOL post..I'm never stopping with these, it's just fun for me to share my characters which I am disappointed to not be able to draw. My art skills can be easily bested by that of a six year old's hand paint.

He indeed identifies as a male though if you saw the previous post about him (the first post about him really) Elias can change his genitals, due to his human DNA being mixed with several different animals.

Degrees of Lewdity :

ReLaTiOnShIpS :

ROBIN

"Robin? You better be careful with him, if I find out that you're planning something- Uh? Oh, you just want to get to know him? Very well, I guess that's alright, I'm not even sure why I got worked up. It's his fault if he gets into trouble...doesn't mean I wouldn't go out of my way to protect him."

Looks after Robin.

Acts like a mother for him, highly strict and demanding when interacting face to face but behind the scenes, he does everything he can to look after him and make sure he's safe.

The only one Elias genuinely cares for.

*pat pat* you stay there and play games while I sell my body to take your debt okay?

Good.

Manipulates this one like crazy, "I'M DOING ALL OF THIS FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO ME-"

His words not mine.

SYDNEY

"He's my partner if that's what you were wondering, I've spent quite a good amount of time with him. Don't fill his mind with too many lewd thoughts if you plan on seducing him, his purity is rather useful. He even gifted me a dress last week..Mhm? Yes..I am fond of Sydney."

Elias doesn't particularly understand his own emotions.

He just likes having Sydney since his privileged life/status makes it easier for him as well.

Did go out of his way to spend time with him at the beach, proceeded to question every single idea which led him to do so.

WHITNEY

"Whitney tried to use me for quick money making on multiple occasions, you ram your knee in the balls and run, he doesn't take hits there very nicely."

Yeah no.

They don't get along.

Elias just ignores him whenever he tries to interact, will dismiss him when the time comes.

I've tried to allow it, but from the shaming to the constant abusive scenarios, there isn't much to allow.

KYLAR

"He got his ass thrown into prison, and for all I know, he just belongs to the asylum. I assure you that I attempted to aid him, he wasn't treated very kindly so I assumed to have found someone I can understand and relate to. Turns out he was a perverted psycho...Oh really ? I'll give you this one fact, Kylar never loved me, he just wanted to keep me as a possession."

Dismissed Kylar.

You think this guy wants to make out with the equivalent of a pathetic wet rat ? He doesn't even know if he likes the librarian who treats him with kindness.

Nuh-uh.

Nah.

Stans are coming after me, but my boy openly defended a dude who decided to stalk him in response.

BAILEY

"...What about Bailey? He has done many things for me as a child, I know that our hearts have never been one, I see that now. But if it means seeing her again..I'll pay him off, I'll pay Robin's debt along with my own and we'll run from this god forsaken swill of a town."

The first reason as to why Elias is so hardworking is because he believes that once his debt is fully repaid, he'll be able to see Monika.

Otto Hightower and Alicent toxic dad and daughter~

Woohoo and the line of trauma doesn't stop there cause Elias also treats Robin like SHIT-

The pressure of needing to save those he cares for is so great that it causes him to install his own suffering on them as well.

You're stronger than you think Elias, you're strong enough to stand as a wall between Robin and Bailey, between Sydney and Himself, between the Orphans and this Fucked up Place.

Burn your feelings to the ground and carry on.

Woah too emotional on the last one chill-

[braveclementine]

Volterra and Volturi

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Twilight characters or locations. I do own Davina Mikelson and Marcel. I also own the backstory for my OC. I do not condone any copying of this.

Davina P.O.V.

As Alice drove, she chatted about what the rest of the family had been doing. I found that they had moved to New York. Carlisle was teaching at Cornell part time which was, you know, just fantastic. So glad he was enjoying himself.

Emse was doing some historical reconstruction of some seventeenth century building. Emmett and Rosalie had gone to Europe for a honeymoon. Jasper was learning philosophy at Cornell. Alice meanwhile, had been doing some digging about her own past.

"My name was Mary Alice Brandon. I had a little sister named Cynthia. Her daughter- my niece- is still alive in Biloxi."

Mississippi.

"Did you find out why they put you in. . . that place? What would drive parents to that extreme? Even if their daughter saw visions of the future. . ." Bella asked.

"I couldn't find much about them. I went through all the old newspapers on microfiche. My family wasn't mentioned often; they weren't part of the social circle that made the papers. My parents' engagement was there, and Cynthia's. My birth was announced. . . and my death. I found my grave. I also filched my admissions sheet from the old asylum archives. The date on the admission and the date on my tombstones are the same."

The Cullens had been completely together- Edward was not with them- and they had been spending Spring Break in Denali with Tanya's family.

'Maybe Carlisle and Tanya are together' I thought blandly and was glad that I hadn't dragged Sam up there when I'd wanted to. That would've meant running into Carlisle and Sam probably would've tried killing him.

I sighed, peering out the window.

Once we got to the airport, I quickly made sure that my wig was in place before getting out of the car. Alice quickly bought three tickets to Italy. We would have to make a stop in New York and then board another plane through a connection to Italy.

There were no problems in the airport. People barely looked at me, which was such a relief I could laugh. My passport wasn't even looked at twice. Soon, we were on the plane. Bella's leg was bouncing up and down and Alice muttered, "It's faster than running."

Bella simply nodded.

I pulled out the book I'd brought with me. Yes, I know, I brought a book to save Edward from his demise. But really, if we were going to die, then I wanted to be enjoying a book.

I was reading The Necromancer: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. It was the fourth book in a series of six. It truly was a shame that I might not have the chance to finish the series off.

Alice lifted the phone off the back of the seat as the plane rose into the sky while Bella eyed the stewardress. I listened in to see who Alice was talking to. ". . . changing his mind. . . a killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square. . . mostly things that would expose them- he knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction. . . No, you can't! Tell Emmett no. . . Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back. . . Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?"

Pause.

She nodded, "Exactly. I think Bella and mom are the only chance- if there is a chance. . . I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle-" His name sent shocks through my heart, "- the odds aren't good."

She laughed with a catch in her throat, "I've thought of that. . . Yes, I promise. Don't follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out. . .And I love you."

My heart caught in my throat. I felt so bad for her.

She hung up and closed her eyes, leaning back in her seat, "I hate lying to him."

I nodded. I hated lying to Sam. There was definitely a chance none of us were getting out of this.

Not that it mattered to me. My parents- dead. My brother Kol- dead. There was Sam and my werewolf sons. . . but they could get along without me. They'd be okay without me. They could survive. Sam had Emily. They had each other.

I rubbed the tattoo on my wrist. I loved them. I truly loved them. They were my family now. I wish I didn't have to leave them.

"Tell me everything, Alice. I don't understand. Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett, why can't they come help us?" Bella asked.

"Two reasons. The first I told him. We could try to stop Edward ourselves- if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him, you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll throw a Buick through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down."

She paused, thinking deeply and then added, "That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and the Volturi kill Edward, they'll fight them. Bella. If there was any chance we could win. . . if there was a way that the four of us could save my brother by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and, Bella, I can't lose Jasper like that."

Especially since he'd spent so much of his life fighting.

"Couldn't Edward hear you, though? Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?" Bella asked in confusion.

"You can lie with your thoughts." I answered quietly.

"Exactly." Alice said sadly. "If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking 'she's alive, she's alive' as hard as I could. He knows that."

Bella gritted her teeth in frustration. I could only imagine her anger. If Carlisle had tried pulling this crap I would be angry too. After all, they didn't want us anymore. They had casted us aside like an unwanted dog that bit to much. Carlisle hadn't even bothered to say good-bye to me.

"If there was any way to do this without you, Bella, mom, I wouldn't be endangering you two like this. It's very wrong of me."

"Don't be stupid. I'm the last thing you should be worrying about. Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie to Jasper." Bella said, shaking her head.

She smiled grimly. "I promised him I would get out before they killed me, too. It's not something I can guarantee- not by a long shot."

"Who are these Volturi?" Bella asked. "What makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and you?"

I mostly stopped listening at this point. I knew they were dangerous. Aro could hear every thought in your head with one touch of your body. Marcus could test familial bonds, test and see where they were weak, gauge how strong they are.

There was Jane who could cause pain by looking at you. And then her opposite twin Alec who would cause no feelings at all. Then there was Demetri who could track you down knowing nothing but your name. Felix was as strong as Emmett, maybe stronger. Chelsea keeps the guard together with bonds and can also break bonds. Renata was Aro's shield. Santiago who also possessed great strength. Heidi was a bit of a fisher, able to lure the humans into Volterra for the others to eat.

I shivered, pulling out my earbuds. I drowned myself in babymetal so that I couldn't hear anything else.

I let the heavy metal with cute Japanese little girl voices sing in my head until I felt a jarring motion and realized we had landed in New York. Huh, it had felt rather short.

I pulled out my earbuds as Bella made Alice get up. We ran to get to our connection, but it was worth it as the plane took off almost immediately. I immediately set myself back into Baby metal, trying to fall asleep.

A few minutes- hours really- Alice motioned to both Bella and I excitedly. I groggily extracted my earbuds from my ears, wondering what she was so excited about. Night had fallen outside the windows.

"What's wrong?" Bella muttered.

"It's not wrong. It's right. They're deliberating, but they've decided to tell him no." Alice said with a smile.

That was good?

"The Volturi?" Bella muttered again.

"Of course, Bella, keep up. I can see what they're going to say."

"Tell me."

"Can I get you ladies a pillow?" A male flight attendant asked. I knew my wig was slightly loose so I didn't dare look at him.

"No, thank you." Alice said.

"Tell me." Bella said again.

"They're interested in him- they think his talent could be useful. They're going to offer him a place with them."

"What will he say?" Bella asked curiously while I gingerly fixed the hairline on the red wig. The bun was starting to give me a headache. I would be able to take it off once we were in Italy.

"I can't see that yet, but I'll be it's colourful. This is the first good news- the first break. They're intrigued; they truly don't want to destroy him- 'wasteful,' that's the word Aro will use- and that may be enough to force him to get creative. The longer he spends on his plans, the better for us."

Okay so it was good news. Good.

"Alice?"

"What?"

"I'm confused. How are you seeing this so clearly? And then other times, you see things far away- things that don't happen?" Bella asked curiously.

"It's clear because it's immediate and close, and I'm really concentrating. The faraway things that come on their own- those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, I see my kind more easily than yours. Edward is even easier because I'm so attuned to him."

"You see me sometimes." Bella added.

"Not as clearly." Alice said.

"Clear enough you saw her cliff diving." I grunted.

Bella sighed, "I really wish you could have been right about me. In the beginning, when you first saw things about me, before we even met. . ."

"What do you mean?" Alice asked curiously.

"You saw me become one of you." Bella muttered so quietly I almost missed it. I almost sighed aloud.

Alice did sigh. "It was a possibility at the time."

"At the time." Bella repeated dully.

"Actually, Bella. . . Honestly, I think it's all gotten beyond ridiculous. I'm debating whether to just change you myself." Alice finally said.

I froze and so did Bella.

"Did I scare you? I thought that's what you wanted." Alice asked, confused, staring between the two of us.

"I do! Oh, Alice, do it now! I could help you so much- and I wouldn't slow you down. Bite me!"

"Jesus Bella." I hissed. "Shut up."

"Try to be reasonable." Alice said. "We don't have enough time. We have to get into Volterra tomorrow. You'd be writhing in pain for days. And I don't think the other passengers would react well."

"If you don't do it now, you'll change your mind."

"No. I don't think I will. He'll be furious, but what will he be able to do about it?"

"Nothing at all."

She laughed quietly and then added as an afterthought, "You have to much faith in me, Bella. I'm not sure that I can. I'll probably just end up killing you."

"I'll take my chances." Bella said stupidly.

"You are so bizarre, even for a human." Alice pointed out.

"Thanks." Bella said.

"Oh well, this is purely hypothetical at this point, anyway. First we have to live through tomorrow."

"Good point." Bella sounded excited. She looked sideways at me, "Will you be a vampire?"

I shook my head, "There's no point. Instead of a life time of sickness and suffering, it would just be endless forever suffering. No thanks."

"When you're a vampire, you might capture Carlisle's attention." Bella pointed out. "He wouldn't need distractions."

I scoffed, "Why would I chase a man who doesn't want me? If he doesn't love me as a human then he's not going to love me as a vampire. I shouldn't have to change myself to permanently to get his attention. Besides, Vampires aren't allowed on the Quileute rez so I'd much rather stay human thank you very much."

Bella was silent for a moment, probably lost in her own world again.

I fell back asleep and didn't wake again until the sky was turning pink and orange. I noticed Alice's late night enthusiasm was gone as we started to touch down in Florence, Italy. She was already talking to Bella and I listened in as I stretched, getting ready to exit the plane.

". . .got very close. He changed his mind at the last minute."

"He wouldn't want to disappoint Carlisle. Not at the end." Bella murmured.

"Probably."

"Will there be enough time?" Bella questioned.

"I'm hoping so- if he sticks to his latest decision, maybe." Alice said, but she didn't sound particularly hopeful.

"What is that?" Bella and I asked together.

"He's going to keep it simple. He's just going to walk out into the sun."

I didn't know if it would be enough. There were a lot of things that could be say. Reflective surfaces taped to his skin, glitter, sparkles, diamonds imbedded in his skin- hey rappers did weird things like that all the time- etc. There could be a very good reason for why his skin was sparkling. Grand effects for whatever.

". . . wants the biggest audience possible, so he'll choose the main plaza, under the clock tower. The walls are high there. He'll wait till the sun is exactly overhead."

"So we have till noon?" Bella asked.

"If we're lucky. If he sticks with this decision."

"How far is it from Florence to Volterra?"

"That depends on how fast you drive. . . Bella? Davina?"

"Yes?" We asked together, looking at her. I pulled on my leather jacket, fixing my wig slightly when no one was looking.

"How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"

I grinned.

---------------

We careened down the road in a bright yellow Porsche. Honestly, I was having the time of my life, beaming, the wind down just slightly to feel the heavy breeze rolling through.

"There's Volterra." Alice announced after about fifteen or so minutes of driving. We'd been weaving in and out of traffic which had been terrifying at first, but I knew Alice wouldn't crash. I wasn't even wearing my seat belt.

I looked over to the see the city that looked like it was built on a mountain. It was all the same tan colour and it looked like a maze of walls and roads and buildings. The main plaza was probably smack dab in the middle, making it a literal maze. The surrounding area was forest of green trees and luscious fields.

We were so totally dead.

Alice drove through the roads, showing me that there were indeed layers to the city. She beeped as she tried not running people over. Everyone jumped out of the way, everyone was also wearing red which was really, really weird.

"Why are they all in red?" Bella asked as Alice moved through a large crowd of people.

"Saint Marcos Day festival." Alice replied with complete indifference, "They're commemorating the expulsion of vampires from the city. It's the perfect setting."

I snorted from the irony.

"The Volturi will never let him reveal himself."

"We have five minutes." Bella was practically crying in the front seat. I could feel my heart beating faster as my stomach churned at the deadline.

"Bella, just breathe." Alice said.

Police officers stopped us at the next check point. "Let's go." I muttered to Bella, throwing my door open. Bella threw her door open as well and we started to run.

"Where are we going?" Bella shouted after me.

"The clocktower of course." I shouted behind me.

Bella and I ran, pushing past people in red as much as we could. We ran up stairs, down alleyways as we searched for the clocktower.

The sun was beating down on us and I stripped off the leather jacket, wishing I'd brought something different so I could just tie it around my waist. Instead, I just held it under my arm as I sprinted, pushing past more people.

Me and Bella came to a stop as we reached a wall of people that were watching a parade go by.

"Come on." I muttered, starting to push through people. If I had to cross the parade to get to my son, I would.

Me and Bella dashed through an opening in the parade, continuing to cut through people. I could see the clock tower in front of us.

Pushing through the crowd of people, we suddenly found ourselves in front of a fountain. 'Well damn' I thought.

The clock hit twelve.

"Fuck." I cursed aloud, jumping up on the fountain, running along the edge of it like a balance beam, except it was wider than a beam.

I could see Edward walking out of the door and I could hear Bella screaming Edward's name behind me.

"Damn you Eddie." I muttered, sprinting towards him. I could hear splashing in the fountain and I knew that Bella was running across the fountain. I leapt off the stone fountain edge as he finished unbuttoning his shirt. Bella suddenly tore past me, water flying off her shoes as he stepped out into the light, tackling him backwards into the church.

Bella and I shoved him together into the clock tower, the doors slamming behind me. "Bella? Mom?"

I huffed, furious now that Edward was alive and in my sights, "You complete arsehole Edward Cullen!"

Edward looked slightly abashed, but he couldn't keep his attention on me for long, turning to Bella instead. I rolled my eyes, leaning against the stone wall. We'd probably have to stay here until night set. I hoped Alice could find us.

Was Bella really going to forgive Edward so quickly? Oh yep, they were kissing. Well damn.

I really hoped we took planes straight back to Forks and then they could go to Alaska to see the others. The last thing I wanted to do was see Carlisle again. The others- fine. My kids- fantastic, Esme- wonderful. Carlisle- fuck me.

Wrong choice of words.

Screw him.

No, wait.

Shit.

Suddenly, there was a noise like an elevator and I looked over to see two pale, male figures making their way over to us.

One was slightly smaller with blond hair while the other was bigger, hulk like, with dark hair.

"I won't be needing your services after all, gentlemen." Edward said, holding Bella close.

"Aro wants to speak with you again." The bigger folk said.

"No rules were broken." Edward protested.

"Nonetheless, we should take this conversation to a more appropriate venue." The smaller man said, looking at me and winking. I raised an eyebrow. Now that he was closer, I saw the blond was more of a dirty brown blond.

"Fine." Edward said. "Bella, Davina, why don't you two go and enjoy the rest of the festival?"

"The girls come with us." The bigger man said.

"Ooh lovely." I snarked under my breath.

"No. You can go to hell." Edward said.

"Eddie." I said sharply, raising an eyebrow.

Alice stepped in at that second, lowering the head scarf she had been wearing. "Come on guys. It's a festival. You wouldn't want to make a scene."

"We wouldn't." The dark haired man said when a third figure appeared. She was mostly definitely blond with large red eyes.

"Enough." She announced, tossing her hood back.

"Jane." Edward whispered.

"Aro sent me to see what was taking so long." Jane said, looking up at the darker haired man, then the lighter, looking at the other three, then me, before turning and going back the way she came. There was a no nonsense air about her and it made Edward follow after, Bella's hand tightly in his own. Alice followed after and I went with them.

The other two vampires waited till I passed by to bring up the rear.

The bigger man held out a red robe for Edward to put on, which he did.

"Go ahead." Jane said as she reached the part where the stairs turned downwards. We walked past and now the three of them were bringing up the rear.

Now that Edward was safe, I truly wasn't scared. We would meet Aro. We would either live or die. Personally, I preferred life, but it truly wasn't the biggest worry if I died. Although, admittedly, I hadn't redeemed myself yet and would probably be going to hell.

Eternal hell.

Lovely.

We finally filed into an elevator. While the others stood upright and stiff, I leaned against the wall. The better looking man, the small one who had winked, was staring at me. I looked back.

"Don't touch. I bite." I said, raising my eyebrows.

He grinned, "Oh, I like you."

I titled my head a little in acknowledgement. Jane snorted up front. The elevator music was horrible.

"Opera. Terrible." I muttered as the doors opened. The man snorted in laughter. The bigger man rolled his eyes.

We stepped into a lobby of sorts, a human woman behind the desk. I was surprised, but perhaps I shouldn't have been.

"Is she human?" Bella asked up front. I was walking between the man that seemed to like me- or at least I amused him- and Alice.

"Yes." Edward said.

"Does she know?" Bella asked after a few seconds.

"Yes." Edward was being quiet, like he didn't want anyone else to hear, which was ridiculous because I could hear which meant the vampires around us certainly could.

"Then why would. . .She wants to be." Bella answered her own question.

"And so she will be." The man next to me said.

"Or dessert." Jane said calmly ahead of us.

I rolled my eyes.

Jane opened up two double doors in front of us and revealed a large room that looked like a dome. In fact, it probably was. There were quite a few windows, but not enough for the light to fully reach the ground and make the vampires around us sparkle.

There weren't many vampires at all, two guards near the door, a young man in the middle of the floor, and three sitting upon thrones up on an altar.

"Sister, they send you out to get one and you come back with two." The vampire who must be Alec said. "And two halves making three. Such a clever girl."

I bit my tongue to keep from making a sarcastic remark.

The vampire sitting upon the middle throne- most likely Aro- stood, throwing his arms out wide. What a happy surprise! Bella is alive after all!" He stepped down the steps as we stopped.

He clapped his hands together, walking with normal speed towards us. Honestly, he wasn't that bad looking. His long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and despite his three thousand year old age, he didn't look a day over thirty. His eyes of course, were red and I liked to image what they would look like if they were golden.

"Isn't that wonderful!" He finished. He reached out for Edwards' hand, "I love a happy ending. They are so rare."

I agreed. They were pretty much nonexistent.

He said something in Italian that I didn't bother understand because- I didn't know Italian. But whatever it was made Aro turn to look at Bella and he said, "Her blood appeals to you so much. . . it makes me thirsty."

I nearly snorted, but kept my attitude. Pretty sure a royal vampire king wasn't the kind of vampire I wanted to piss off.

"How can you stand to be so close to her?"

"It's not without difficulty." Edward responded.

"Yes, I can see that." Aro laughed, still holding Edward's hand. I had thought he only needed to briefly touch it, not hold it for extended periods of time.

I shifted my attention to the two vampires on the other thrones. Caius was even more handsome than in the painting. Not as good as Lucius Malfoy, of course, but still, rather decent. Marcus on the other hand looked like he had never gotten over the English days of King George.

I had clearly missed conversation as Aro turned his eyes to Bella and said, "Fascinating. I would love to see if. . ." He finally dropped Edward's hand, stepping back, "you are an exception to my gifts, as well." He held out his hand. Bella, after some hesitation, stepped forward and gave Aro her hand. "Would you do me the honor?"

I let my gaze wander until it landed on the other vampire again who winked. I smirked and then turned my attention back to Aro who was looking rather perturbed.

"Interesting. I see nothing. I wonder. . ." He turned his back, walking slightly back to his throne, "Let us see if she is immune to all our powers. Shall we, Jane?"

I hesitated for a fraction of an inch. Jane, of course, created pain with her mind. I did not want that to be used on Bella, but at the same time. . . I did not think that it would.

"No!" Edward protested, going to move in front of Bella when I stepped in front of Edward.

"Don't." I warned him. "Edward, stay calm and stay here."

Edward hesitated under my stern gaze and I raised an eyebrow. Jane turned her attention on Bella. Edward went to move and I put my hand on his shoulder. "Don't."

We waited, watching as Jane continued to gaze at Bella. Bella gazed back and nothing happened.

Aro started to laugh. I took it back. It was terribly creepy and I was really starting to dislike him. I let go of Edward's shoulder, moving back into the background.

"Remarkable." Aro said, clapping his hands together. Jane stared at him. "She confounds us all."

Aro turned to me, "And who are you?"

"Davina Michaelson." I replied.

"Ah yes, the Cullen mother." Aro said softly. "Carlisle's mate."

I rolled my eyes. "Not really, but sure."

"And does Edward have difficulty reading your mind?" Aro asked.

"No." I replied.

"Might I?" Aro asked, holding out his hand.

"I quite like my privacy, thank you."

"Mom." Edward hissed under his breath.

I wavered, glancing at him and then at Aro who looked intrigued.

If I was going to tell someone all of my deepest, darkest secrets, this vampire was the last person I wanted to know. Not to mention, Edward would be able to see everything as it flashed through Aro's mind.

It was uncomfortable feeling. Aro would know every moment of my life from the moment I was born to now. He would know about my relationship with Carlisle, what happened with my parents, and how I had nearly killed three different vampires using wooden stakes and a lighter.

"Edward, stay out of his head and mine." I said, holding out my hand.

Aro ignored it, stepping forward, his hands on either side of my face, pressing his lips to mine. I was shocked and froze. Memories flooded my mind. My first step, my fourth birthday party, playing in the ocean with Sam, my Uncle Josh greeting us at Fort Knox, Azim, my first kiss, the bombs, the death, the screaming, and everything else up until this moment.

Aro didn't let go of my hand for a very long time. It was cold, like all vampires hands, and there was a smoothness to it that suggested age. Almost soft.

We stared into each others' eyes before he finally let go. "You have one of the most traumatic lives I have ever seen." Aro whispered. "How do you handle it at such a young age?"

"I'm Davina Michaelson. I survive." I stated flatly.

"Strange, and your blood does not appeal to me, nor anyone else in this room." Aro murmured, almost to himself.

"Pretty sure that's a good thing." I said and I saw the man smile out of the corner of my eye. Felix on the other hand rolled his eyes.

"Indeed, although you were Carlisle's blood singer. . ." Aro said slowly.

"He has a theory that I'm one side of the spectrum for every vampire. Either the side that does crave my blood period or the side where I'm the blood singer. It's just lovely." I said sarcastically.

Aro smiled, bemused, "So what are we going to do with you now?"

"You already know what you are going to do, Aro." Marcus said from his throne, slouching like he didn't know what good posture was.

"They know to much. They are a liability." Caius said.

Well, so much for thinking he was good looking. I'd stick with the guy who seemed to like me.

"That's true." Aro said.

"Okay so, we're liabilities now." I stated, "But when we become vampires, that makes us not liabilities, right?"

Aro looked at me, "I did not realize you planned on becoming a vampire."

"Alice promised Bella to change her after we saved Edward from trying to die." I replied.

Edward shot me a look.

"And yourself?" Aro asked, raising an eyebrow.

I titled my head, thinking. "I told Carlisle to give me a few years. I wanted to be at least twenty five or older."

"And you're twenty now?"

"Almost twenty-one." I responded. "Coming April."

Aro tilted his head to the side, judging me. I looked at Alice, "You could show him."

Alice nodded, taking off her glove, extending her hand to Aro who took it in almost delight. I watched as Aro and Alice stared at each other. "Mesmerizing." Aro responded in an almost breathless whisper, "To see what you have seen. . . before it has happened." Aro moved in front of Bella, "Your gifts will make for an intriguing immortal." He caressed her cheek. I pursed my lips. I wondered what her gift was going to be.

"Go now." Aro said, backing away from us. "Make your preparations."

"Let us be done with this." Marcus said from his throne. "Heidi will arrive any moment." He stood up.

"Right, time to go." I said, hooking my arm through Alice's.

"Thank you for your visit." Marcus said to us.

Right, well at least he was polite.

"We will return the favor. I would advise that you follow through on your promise soon." Caius said, not rising from his throne. "We do not offer second chances."

Wow, just a ray of sunshine.

"Goodbye, my young friends." Aro said in delight to our backs as we exited the room.

"Nice fishing Heidi." The young man said as we passed by a tall vampire wearing a red dress and black gloves with heels. I felt sick, watching the people file past, especially when I saw that there were two children in the group.

"You have children in the group!" I protested as Edward and Alice led me and Bella faster and farther from the group.

The man looked at me, at first amused, and then almost apologetic. "It happens."

I swallowed hard as I heard the screams. Edward and Alice pushed us through the doors, blocking out the screams.

We went up the elevator.

"Which one are you?" I asked the man. "Santiago or Demetri?"

He looked just the faintest surprised that I knew the names and he said, "Demetri."

"Ah, the tracker." I said with a nod.

He smirked. "Indeed I am. And I think you would make a lovely vampire."

"I'm sure." I smirked.

He brushed my cheek lightly as the doors opened.

"Careful," I warned lightly. "I still bite."

He laughed lightly as I exited the elevator.

"Mom, you shouldn't flirt with him." Edward muttered.

"Yes, well as I am single and not seeing anyone, I have every right to flirt with whoever I feel like." I muttered.

Technically, the Volturi weren't bad people. I supposed if I did become a vampire, I could always come back here. I could see a life as part of the guard, specifically alongside Demetri. But then again, I don't think that would help with my attempts at redemption.

I knew all three of them would be curious about what Aro had meant about my life, but it wasn't any of their business. Edward was safe. Him and Alice would go back to Denali with their family, leaving us alone again.

I wondered if the wolves had caught Victoria yet, or if when we disappeared, she went too.

We caught another plane out of Florence- I had redone my red wig as I had taken it off once we'd landed in Florence the first time.

We landed in Rome and I called Sam.

Emily was the one who picked up, "Davina? Are you alright? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. I'm on my way home. I need Sam to pick me up at the airport. Or any of the boys for that matter. We land early in the morning, I have no idea what time it is there right now. I just thought you should know."

"Okay, I'll pass along the message." Emily said, sounding exhausted.

"Thanks Em."

I hung up, leaving the bathroom and rejoining Edward, Alice, and Bella as we got ready to board the long flight from Rome to Atlanta.

I fell asleep during the flight as I was exhausted, dreaming about bombs, running, screaming, and vampires.

I woke up with a headache, feeling sicker than I had in days. I drank a sprite to keep it down. Once we landed in Atlanta, I hurried to the bathroom to throw up and once the plane from Atlanta to Seattle was ready to leave, I felt better.

I fell asleep on this flight as well, feeling well rested when I woke up as the flight landed.

Edward, Alice, and Bella were the first off the flight and then Jasper was there, standing in front of Alice.

Aw shit, the family was here.

I looked around quickly, ignoring the blond and red head in the corner. I couldn't deal with Carlisle right now.

"Davina!" I heard a familiar young voice call.

I broke out in a grin, seeing Seth, Jared, and Sam there. I ran over to them, hugging them all fiercely. "Hey guys."

"Why are you wearing a red wig?" Seth asked in confusion. I took it off, stuffing it in my bag along with my fake passport.

"No reason." I lied. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Sure." Sam said, glaring over my shoulder.

"Sam, ignore them." I muttered.

"Are you alright?" Jared asked in concern.

"Yep, just flirted with a few vampires, saved Edward's life, no big deal."

"Alright, well come on mom." Jared said.

"Wait," I paused, really taking in the fact that Seth was here with Sam. I looked from Seth to Sam and then poked Seth's right arm. "Do you have a tattoo there?"

"Oh yeah." Seth grinned, "It's honestly so awesome."

"What colour wolf are you?" I asked.

"Grey." Seth said excitedly. "Leah's one too."

"What!" I exclaimed.

Sam slung an arm around my shoulder, "You smell terrible."

"Thank you ugly." I muttered. "Come on, let's go."

Carlisle P.O.V.

My anxiety swelled as Davina stepped off the plane, looking more beautiful than ever. I felt better than I had in months and I took a moment to see just how sick she was. She was thin, the unhealthy kind of thin, and she didn't give us the time of day, heading straight for the wolves when she landed.

Alice and Edward hesitated, noting my reaction.

"She thinks you hate her." Alice said, sounding apologetic, glancing between Edward and myself. "I think. . . I think you have some things you need to tell both of them Edward."

Edward looked completely ashamed of himself, but was more focused on Bella than anything else, "Yeah, I will."

That wasn't comforting at all.

[readnburied]

A Favorite Book by My Favorite Authors

Okay, so it took a long time for me to finally decide and write this post because I really want to bring a variety of posts to this blog. Though I have a lot of favorite authors, I’ve selected my top few and my favorite book from their works. So here’s a list of my favorite book from my favorite authors. 

Insanity by Cameron Jace

This is book 1 in the series of the same name and follows Alice Wonder who is stationed in an asylum after killing her classmates. Little does Alice know that there’s a world beyond hers where fantasies become a reality and monsters lurk, ready to invade and kill the people of her world. Monsters, only she can slay. 

Though I’m obsessed with the entire series, since I’m only supposed to talk about one book, I chose this one because this is where it all started and I love the setting of Oxford University. 

Zodiac by Romina Russell

This is book 1 in the series of the same name and follows Roma who’s trying to save her planet Cancer from being destroyed. The entire zodiac constellation is in danger and if Roma doesn’t step up and confronts the monster then the entire Zodiac will be on the verge of extinction. 

This is another series I’m obsessed with because of the world that the author created. I love the setting of this book as I’m an astrology and astronomy fan and this series fulfills that need of mine. 

Escape by Nenia Campbell

This is book 4 in the Horrorscape series and follows Gavin and Valerian as they embark on one final game and decide who will be the winner. Who will be the one in control. Rules are broken and people are killed and in the end it’s the prey with the predator. 

Obsession is a small word for what I feel for this series but this is my favorite book in the entire series because I’m in love with the characters and Gavin’s family is just insane. I love how it all ends and I just wish I could read this book for the first time all the time. 

Scorpia Rising by Anthony Horowitz 

This is book 9 in the Alex Rider series and revolves around the life of Alex who is on the lookout for the greatest criminal organization Scorpia for the sole motive of revenge. But when old friends reach out and death threatens to take hold, Alex Rider must do whatever he can to protect the ones he love even if he has to sacrifice himself in the process. 

Though these books are meant for younger readers I personally think these books are timeless and can be enjoyed by any age group. And this is my favorite book in the entire series and so this book is on this list. 

All’s Well by Mona Awad

This is a standalone and revolves around the life of Miranda Fitch who is a drama professor in a college but is envious of practically everyone around her due to all the difficulties she’s facing in terms of her health. When the time comes for the annual play her students want to perform Macbeth while she wants them to perform All’s Well. And when she comes across three generous men who make her an offer she can’t refuse, Miranda’s life takes a turn for the better. She thought her life couldn’t get any better until she realizes that there’s always a price to pay. 

I have yet to read the author’s latest works but of the books I’ve read so far this has been my favorite and I loved the ending and the climax within the story. 

Babel by R. F. Kuang

This is a standalone book and follows the life of Robin and his friends who get admission in the prestigious Oxford University in the translation department. However, they soon encounter problems in terms of racism and competition and Robin needs to figure out what’s important to him and what he’s willing to do to get it. 

This book is so intelligently written that I can’t help but fall in love with it. I loved the writing style and the whole academia setting and I really want everybody to read this book. 

Digital Fortress by Dan Brown 

This is a standalone book and revolves around Susan Fletcher who is a mathematician working with the National Security Agency. But when the Agency comes across a code they cannot break, it is up to Susan to solve the problem. However, when she discovers the danger that threatens to destroy the agency, Susan is caught up in a roller coaster of secrets and betrayal and getting out of it might just kill her and the man she loves. 

I read this book a really long time ago but I remember it to this day. And most importantly, I remember the emotions it invoked within me and I absolutely love a book that can do that. 

Phantom Heart by Kelly Creagh

This is book 1 in the series of the same name and follows the life of Stephanie Armond who has just moved into a new house with her family. She soon comes across rumors regarding the house and she soon realizes that the rumors carry a heavy dose of truth in them. But when she meets Lucas who holds a lot of interest in her house, she has no choice but to accept that the house is haunted, and the man haunting her house is the same one who takes her breath away in her dreams. 

I love this author and all the books by them. And I was having a tough time deciding between this book and Enshadowed, which is book 2 of the Nevermore series. But in the end Erik and his many beautiful masks won my heart and I ended up putting this book on this list. 

And that’s it. These are my favorite books from some of my favorite authors. Let me know if you’ve read any of these books and what you think of them. Do you love them as much as I do or not? 

[inkdrawndreamer]

Behind the Wall of Sleep (BTAS fic)

After putting the Mad Hatter in Arkham (again), Bruce gets a mildly depressing window into his foe’s mental state. I wrote this up in less than 24 hours, but it’s surprisingly not bad. Many thanks to @desertarabianhorse and @ryuunoyuki for helping me edit it. Y’all are the best.

It was partially a joke on Bruce's end when he asked the man Tetch hypnotized to make a worry doll in Batman’s likeness. After the ordeal he was put through, the craftsman was willing to humor the request before he took his leave of the city for good. A tongue in cheek reminder to Tetch that he messed with the wrong people. They got a good laugh out of it, though Bruce did not expect the doll to last long. After all, with enough tossing and turning, it would probably just fall out from beneath the man's pillow. He figured he could at least get some surveillance in before that happened. Tetch had no prior criminal record before the incident with Alice Pleasance, save for the occasional parking ticket, so Bruce had not kept a very close eye when Tetch was working for him. It would have been a shame for him to stay on this path given his history and inventing prowess though, so he had visited once as his consoling boss and left him at that, with the promise of a new position on another project once he was better.

Bruce had already checked up on Alice Pleasance before visiting Tetch. She was in good spirits all things considered, and was slowly beginning to return to work. If she requested it, he already had a job lined up at a branch of the company a few states away, but she never took him up on it. She had proved rather resilient, and even a bit sympathetic toward the man that had taken her captive. However, she still had no desire to see him, and Bruce did not want to risk Tetch impeding her recovery. So far, he had not tried to contact her in any way nor had he gotten anybody to do so on his behalf. Bruce hoped to keep it that way, but making sure that each of them got help was a balancing act. What he had not expected was for Tetch to develop a fixation on Batman.

In the first month of Tetch’s incarceration, Bruce had found himself busier than usual, between putting out the many fires around the city, both figurative and literal, and Alfred taking a much-needed vacation. In his exhaustion, Tetch’s escape from Arkham managed to escape his notice. When he next saw Tetch, it was after waking from a long dream in the middle of a dingy warehouse. He had stretched himself thin enough to land directly in the man’s clutches, but rather than kill him, Tetch had sentenced him to a much kinder reality than he was used to. It was not what he needed nor where he was needed, however, and Bruce ended up breaking out of the illusion before the night was over. When pressed, Tetch broke down.

“I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted! Just to keep you out of mine!”

Those words were still echoing in Bruce’s head by the time Tetch had once again broken out. While he retained some sympathy for the man, he had lost much of his patience by that point. In an attempt to con some of Gotham’s wealthier citizens, Tetch was quick to get Bruce on his trail, with predictable results. Bruce was honestly disappointed by the turn, though not surprised. Tetch was growing more violent, and thoughts of rehabilitating him soon took a backseat to keeping him from causing more harm. It was becoming enough of a problem that Bruce saw fit to put extra eyes on his former employee—with the aid of the bugged doll.

Arkham had a long history of corruption, and every other year saw a member of its board get ousted for one thing or another. Bruce had been a member himself since before he donned the cowl, but those in charge were resistant to change. It was problems like these that drove Bruce to other methods of surveillance—to make sure the asylum did things by the book. He had eyes and ears everywhere, from orderlies on his payroll, to listening devices scattered around the building. Bugging Tetch's room was easy. The doll left under his pillow had a small recorder planted inside of it, and the device only transmitted recordings one way, which left minimal risk of the parts being used for any new mind control devices. It had been just shy of a month since he was last incarcerated, with no obvious plans to escape. Bruce spent a couple hours each week going through the recordings from inside the asylum. 

Tetch talked to himself a lot, occasionally singing or humming off-key, or tossing in his sleep. He clearly had some nightmares, though his pained whines told Bruce nothing of their contents. He only hoped the man would bring them up to his therapist at some point. He seemed stable overall, which gave Bruce hope that he could be rehabilitated before any potential relapse occurred, though Bruce was reluctant to put any weight behind it. Whether or not he could be rehabilitated in earnest depended on Tetch himself.

He finally found the doll a few weeks into his incarceration. After trying for the umpteenth time to find a pattern in the Joker's evening ramblings, Bruce was surprised to find activity on the feed in Tetch's room. He was talking, not just reciting lyrics or lines of prose to himself, but conversing with somebody. Bruce turned up the volume, but he could not make out any other voices underneath the white noise of the asylum. Tetch appeared to be alone.

"It explains the dreams doesn't it? You've been in my head and under it." He sighed beneath the crinkling static of the recording. "Cruel if you ask me."

A bit of shuffling ensued and the audio suddenly grew clearer.

"We're not so different, you and I. Getting into people's heads, though you're not exactly honest about it." A sharp sound hit Bruce's ears and forced him to turn the volume down. Tetch's mumbling resumed. "I wonder what possessed you to leave this little token. A souvenir perhaps?"

He chuckled mirthlessly. Rattling metal and yelling could be heard from far away.

"Good night, I suppose."

That was the last Bruce heard from Tetch's room for some time. At first, he assumed he must have found the listening device or simply disposed of the doll altogether, but if he strained his ears enough while listening to the feed, there was still noise in the background. The feed never actually went offline. The Joker managed to break out a week later, which kept Bruce too busy to examine the rest of the Arkham feeds. It took a few days to haul him back in, bound in TV cables and cackling loudly, but the job got done. Dr. Leland thanked him with a tired smile as she had the Joker wheeled to the infirmary. She offered to examine Bruce's injuries, but he declined. They were minor anyhow, just contusions and a busted lip. Only Leland's remarks to a passing orderly reminded him that he had not checked Tetch's progress in a while.

After the most recent incident with the Joker had settled down, Bruce took the time to go through the recent feeds with Tetch. As expected, there was little to report, and he found himself speeding through most of them. Only when he moved past a bit of dialogue too quickly did he rewind it to listen in earnest.

"I saw you earlier today. Couldn't stomach a proper visit could you? Not even after waking half the building with your racket."

The timestamp on the recording was shortly after two in the morning, right around when he brought the Joker in. No wonder Tetch sounded so cranky.

"I asked about you, but you know these people. They don't say a word to you unless they have to." A bitter sigh crackled over the feed. "I suppose you do this often? Can't spare a word to any of us unless you're bringing us here in chains, hm? I should have figured."

It was the word ‘us’ that caught Bruce off guard. He knew Tetch had mostly kept to himself since he got there. It had been over a month since he was last brought in, but he was beginning to see himself as one of them rather than an outsider. It made sense, Bruce supposed. There was not much to tether him to anything outside those walls.

A couple of days passed and he had forgotten about the recordings. There had not been much to glean from it, so it was of no immediate concern. Days passed without so much as a glance at anything related to the asylum. Mob activities in the city were growing more frequent, and it took most of Bruce’s focus to gather evidence for the police. After a few weeks of work, they were able to arrest a few high-ranking mobsters. It was not as good as taking down the whole organization, but it would at least slow the gangs down while they tried to regroup. In the meantime, Bruce was free to examine the inmates at Arkham more closely. Although their particular brand of crime was on the rise, he found that they were also amenable to special privileges while in the asylum. Keeping them entertained could be almost as effective as keeping them under lock and key, so he tried to improve the conditions where he could. He furnished the asylum library and replaced the many dog-eared board games in the rec room. Unfortunately, the many pleas for a new game system fell on deaf ears after Tetch managed to create mind control cards out of the previous one. It was promptly scrapped and never replaced.

After that particular incident, Bruce kept a closer eye on Tetch. He seemed sullen, per usual, and a bit bored, but he was talking to himself less. He did not speak to the other inmates often, but they were generally lukewarm exchanges rather than anything malicious. He argued with Dr. Isley and the Joker over the TV remote, but seemed to avoid them otherwise. The only thing of note was the nightmares. He seemed to be a fitful sleeper, sometimes waking up several times a night, and when he did, he would often speak to the doll Bruce had left under his pillow. The thought of his former employee consulting with the doll like a child with a stuffed animal was oddly disarming, and Bruce was unsure of how to feel about that. 

“Again, again with this,” he heard Tetch mutter one night after a particularly bad jolt. “Who would choose this?”

The sound of creaking bed springs filled the cave, punctuated by a sigh.

“‘If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.’ I’ll never understand why you would choose this,” Tetch muttered. 

Bruce could easily picture him lying on the thin mattress, peering at the doll in his hands as if to interrogate it. 

“The machine was scanning your brain, you know, all the while. It kept track of your hormones, when you had elevated dopamine levels, incorporating your responses into the program. I guess it still wasn’t enough for you though.”

Hearing that gave Bruce pause. That function had been part of the tech that got Jervis arrested for the first time. It was originally intended to help patients with severe OCD and schizophrenia, allowing the patient to pinpoint specific triggers and work around them. As Tetch continued to work on it however, he ended up tweaking the controls, removing the failsafes that kept it from locking the user into the machine without a way out. Bruce blamed himself in part for not keeping a closer eye on the project. He was careful with who he brought on to manage and run projects for his company, doing multiple background checks both in and out of the cowl. Tetch had no prior arrests or ties to anyone who would normally raise his suspicions at the time. In fact, he had few ties to anybody. Most of his relatives lived out of the country, and he had few associates whatsoever.

“I could almost consider it noble, if it wasn’t so infuriating,” Tetch’s voice lilted through the speakers. “I handed you the keys to paradise and you spat on them. Do you have any idea what I would have done for such a thing?”

Creaking could be heard under the static, followed by a series of rhythmic thumps. Pacing. 

“I tested the machine, you know. On myself. I still dream about it, and it’s so much worse than the nightmares.” His voice broke, and the pacing stopped. “I always wake feeling like such a fool for thinking that things could be good, that I could be good enough. Permanently.”

Bruce turned the volume up.

“Well of course I considered staying in it! Just allowing myself to dream and forget all that ugliness for good.” He was manic, almost chuckling. “But someone would have to be there to maintain it. And I. Had. No one!”

A loud chirp pierced Bruce’s ears through the speaker, followed by muffled static. He thought Jervis had broken the recorder after all, but a voice came through from far away, broken up by sobs, so quiet he could barely hear it.

“So beloved, even by your enemies,” Jervis said bitterly. “Lucky you.”

The audio eventually faded back into nothing. When he checked again in the morning, Bruce found the feed completely offline. The recorder must have been broken. He was reluctant to send another one out in the same form, but he wanted to keep a closer eye on Jervis. Arkham’s monthly board meeting was at the end of the week, and he figured he could stay a little longer to meet with his contacts among the employees. They had nothing to report that he had not already heard about. Slipping a new bug into a light fixture along the wall of the costumed ward turned out to be the easy part. Setting up a meeting on short notice was much harder.

“He is still in therapy Mr. Wayne. I can’t just take him out in the middle of a session,” Dr. Leland scolded.

“I understand. I don’t mind waiting.” Bruce beamed, and his understanding tone turned conniving. “Besides, I was hoping you could look over the minutes from today’s board meeting. See if we missed anything.”

She shot him a familiar smirk as she plucked the documents out of his hand. As it turned out, there was quite a lot that the board had left out of their to-do list for the month. Bruce made casual mention of two trustees’ desire to make budget cuts just as a group of orderlies were dropping off paperwork. He greeted them briefly before they left, though not without mentioning a little too loudly that the Gotham Gazette was looking for editorials from medical personnel first. Between handing out Vicki Vale’s business cards and taking photos with a couple of staffers, the time flew by for Bruce. Pretty soon, Dr. Leland had returned to let him know that Jervis’s appointment was over and he was willing to see a visitor for a few minutes.

Bruce followed her down the hall to the familiar sight of the visitors’ room. After his last escape, Jervis was not allowed to meet with anyone unless he stayed behind the bulletproof glass. Although he was not restrained, his hands remained clasped in his lap, out of sight. A security guard was present as well, though he seemed to focus more on Bruce than on his prisoner.

Bruce took his seat with a gentle smile. “Hello Jervis.”

“Mr. Wayne? What on earth are you doing here?” He fixed him with an incredulous stare.

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I would pay a visit. I’m sorry it’s been a while.”

Jervis hung his head, his gaze fixed on the table. “I wasn’t expecting you to come back.”

“And that’s partly my own fault. With everything going on, I didn’t want to risk making your recovery harder.”

Jervis’s mouth curled into a hollow smirk. “Well, aren't you optimistic.”

Bruce chuckled. “That’s a nicer way of putting it. My friend Harvey used to say I was a doormat.”

“I’m not calling him wrong.”

“I prefer to be optimistic though. Just because someone has a few setbacks doesn’t make them a lost cause.” 

Bruce watched Jervis’s eyes through his own reflection in the glass, watered down blue. 

“I know you’ve made some mistakes, Jervis, but please know that you have my support. And don’t hesitate to call me when you get out of here.”

Jervis stared blankly at him for a few seconds before breaking out in full-throated laughter. “Like I said, optimistic to a fault.” His laughter tapered off, but there was still a hint of a smile on his lips. “But I do appreciate the thought. Thank you, Mr. Wayne.”

Bruce smiled back, even as he noticed the security guard eyeing the clock on the wall. As he stood to leave, he noticed how Jervis’s hands remained clasped in front of him. A hint of black fabric poked out from beneath his fingers.

“What have you got there?” He kept his voice friendly, but measured.

“Oh.” Jervis looked almost surprised to find the object in his hands.His left hand unfurled to reveal the ragged worry doll. “It’s a… souvenir of sorts.”

“Interesting,” Bruce’s mouth twitches slightly as he turns to leave. ”Take care of yourself, Mr. Tetch.”

[asphyxiatedredherring]

This is my gift for @fourdollarwords in the Leverage Gift Exchange! ( @leveragegiftexchange )

I decided to make a playlist of songs I felt fit the show in general, the thiefsome, and as well as each character!

It is quite a weird mix of music

I tried to keep it short, and some characters were easier to come up with more songs than others, but everyone got at least one.

Under the cut, I'll list each song and why I chose it. (It's sorted in categories as well as the order they appear on the spotify playlist, which I recommend listening to it in).

I hope you like it!

Nate:

Another Shot of Whiskey by The Gits - it's about drowning your problems in alcohol, I think we can all see the connection.

Behind Blue Eyes by The Who - the villain theme for the rock opera that never happened. The villain doesn't want to be the villain though, he was forced into that role and no one can see the grief that caused. It really lines up with Nate's story line.

Renegade by Styx - This is a song about a criminal who has been caught and is about to be executed. This song makes me think of The Maltese Falcon Job.

Well Respected Man by The Kinks - I think this represents the life Nate wanted for himself, Maggie, and their son where they are all happy and healthy but in reality Nate knows this is not how his life went and he is not this well respected man.

Breaking the Law by Judas Priest - the song seems to be about a man who was fired from his job so he started breaking the law. I'll let you draw those connections.

Alcohol by The Dropkick Murphys- he's an alcoholic from Boston what more can I say?

Sophie:

Who Do You Want to Be? by Oingo Boingo - its the art of the grift. Sophie makes herself into different people, deciding who she wants to be each day, everything is an act, a character maybe even losing herself along the way

What's Behind the Mask by The Cramps - as a grifter Sophie is always wearing a mask, Sophie isn't even her name. Her family wants to know what's behind her mask, let her know that she is safe to be herself.

Hardison:

Maneater by Hall & Oats - we know Hardison loves Hall & Oats. Best if listened to while Parker autism bites him.

Shout by Tears for Fears - I headcanon that Hardison loves synthpop and this song is a perfect example of that

Rebels With a Cause by The Dropkick Murphys - This song reminds me of the line where Nate calls Hardison "a 24 year old genius with a smartphone and problem with authority." He may have been ignored as a kid, but he's making a difference now. "Don't be angry with the kids Be angry with the greed."

Parker:

Runaway Train by Soul Asylum - I feel like this song really represents Parker's childhood

Never Go Hungry by Hole - I think Parker would have started with stealing food and this is like her internal monolog rationalizing it because stealing became a key part of her personality

Been Caught Stealing by Jane's Addition - Stealing, simple as that. She's a thief. If she wants something she simply takes it. I think it's just a fun catchy song she'd like.

Eliot:

The Boxer by Simon & Garfunkel - Despite their wishes, Eliot left his family and became a fighter just like the protagonist of the song. No matter how hard he tries to escape, the fighter remains. I could write an entire essay about how the story of this song and Eliot's story line up.

Guilt Within Your Head by The Gits - Eliot has so much guilt built up in his head over his past, being unable to forgive himself he created his own hell but he can escape it through forgiveness and redemption.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins - I feel like this song fits Eliot because like the song says Eliot still feels like he can not be saved and is trapped in a cage, despite how angry he is.

Rooster by Alice in Chains - Even though it's a song about the Vietnam War I feel like it can still represent Eliot's life, joining the military and his career as a hitter in which people are constantly coming to kill him, yet he won't die.

Harry:

Ironic by Alanis Morissette - I think Harry would love Alanis Morissette. Hands down. No further notes.

Breanna:

Just a Girl by No Doubt - People frequently underestimate Breanna and I think this feminist anthem conveys her anger with that.

Seasore by The Regrettes - "You're talkin to me like a child Hey I've got news, I'm not a little girl" So much of Breanna's character is wanting to prove herself, that she is capable and not just someone's kid sister and I think this song conveys the anger that comes with being underestimated and judged for your age or gender.

Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row - Breanna isn't interested in conforming to society's idea of what she should be. She has been called a problem child, but she doesn't care because she will stand tall and be herself.

The Thiefsome:

Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith - Hardison would think it's funny but Parker would latch on to it. I'll be citing the first episode for this one.

What I Like About You by The Romantics - I may be stretching this one but the parts of this song can be applied to aspects of the ot3 and them expressing their love for eachother. "Keep on whispering in my ear" fits Hardison talking to Eliot and Parker through the coms, "you really know how to dance" represents Parker's acrobatics and thief skills, and "you keep me warm at night" Eliot is a grounding presence for them at night and they love eachother.

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls - they are all broken in their own way and it doesn't matter what the world thinks, just that they have eachother.

The Crew in General:

Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails - the people with power have the money and they aren't using it properly. But Leverage won't bow down despite what the mark wants. I just think this song encapsulates the anger they have with each mark and their desire to give the mark what they deserve.

And Justice for All by Metallica - I debated putting this song under Hardison but I think it could fit the whole crew. It's about how money has corrupted the justice system. The truth is gone but the crew is working to bring it to light and reinstall justice (in their own way).

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant - there is no rest for the wicked and no shortness of evil in the world which makes Leverage necessary. "The rich and powerful take what we want. We steal it back for you."

We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister - I think this song does well to represent how Leverage is fighting the system and the people that abuse it.

Take Back The Power by The Interrupters - I could also write an essay about this song and its correlation with Leverage but to boil it down, Leverage is working to fight the corruption of the world and fix what they can. They are taking back the power.

Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog - this is practically the Leverage theme song. "I don't mind stealin bread from the mouths of decadence But I can't feel on the powerless when my cup's already overfilled" It's a song about stealing from the rich, class divides, and how the rich get richer but the narrator refused to join them and would rather starve than be like the rich and feed on the poor.

The Men Who Rule The World by Garbage - a song about corruption, money, and violators, the very thing Leverage aims to destroy.

[nicascurls]

Strangeness and Charm - Part Three

Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: Season 1 AU where Andy and Kyle arrive at Charles Lee Ray’s old house before Tiffany leaves with Junior and Nica and ultimately save them. Set in 2017, two weeks after Cult since that's when the show was originally mentioned to be set and in my opinion, makes the most sense.

Notes: Yay! Nica’s awake, I love her and I loved exploring her thought process in this part as well as Kyle and Andy’s since someone *cough cough* Don Mancini *cough cough* seems to neglect their feelings. Also I’m a complete sucker for BarclayPierce, so there are hints in this part and finally, happy birthday once again to Alex Vincent.

Tags: @streets-in-paradise @losersclubisms @silvershewolf247 @cornerofhell​

The first thing Nica was aware of was a feeling of comfort. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt that, it must have been what? Four years? Closer to five, actually. 

But, oh God what does that mean? She let out a soft whimper as she tried to remember what happened before she passed out. She just hoped that this was her waking up and not her regaining control. 

That's when fear struck her, after the first time she regained control she knew there was nothing she was safe from. She slowly began to open her eyes against the sun rays on her face, dreading the sight of the blonde psychopath she expected to be greeted with. 

"Andy, Kyle! It looks like Nica is waking up." 

Andy? Kyle? And that voice definitely wasn't Tiffany's but Nica couldn't bring herself to get her hopes up. 

She fully opened her eyes, squinting against the light and began to push herself up to sit. That's when she met eyes with the 6 people in front of her, four teens, two she could remember from before, the others she didn't recognise. And then two adults, a blonde woman, but not Tiffany. Definitely not her and a man, close to her age. Possibly a few years older and something about him seemed familiar, she couldn't quite place what.

Wait.

Andy, Andy Barclay?

She supposed it could be possible but she knew the dangers of getting her hopes up. The last time she did that she was faced with Tiffany telling her that Alice was gone before gleefully dumping her killer in her lap.

"Where am I?" Nica asked, doing her best to keep her voice steady. She couldn't afford to show weakness, not when she was already at a disadvantage.

"Uh, Hackensack. We brought-" Junior started, taking a step forward before stopping when he saw Nica flinch. "I'm sorry, I should have thought about that."

Nica remained tense, eyes darting from one person to the next. Andy was becoming more alert now and slowly moved closer to the sofa bed.

"Look, we're not going to hurt you, you're safe. Okay, Nica?"

She made no attempt to move again but kept her eyes fixed on the man in front of her. She was doing her best to read his emotions, to find some form of malicious intent that she had grown so used to seeing in people but she couldn't find it.

"How do you know who I am?"

"It's kind of a long story but I'm Andy-"

"Andy Barclay?"

"Yeah..."

At this point Kyle put her guard up, Andy had said they needed to be cautious, that Chucky could trick them and she already had to get her brother out of a padded cell because of this one.

"You hear that from Chucky?" She asked sternly, if it was Nica she didn't want to scare her but she just couldn't risk it.

"Wha- No. I did some research the night he killed my family. I had been suspicious about where the doll came from and came across an article from '88. But, you know what he did don't you?"

"You mean possessing you in an asylum?" Jake responded.

"Yeah, that."

"Look, I'm sorry about this," the blonde woman. Kyle? Began, " but how do we know this isn't Chucky talking now?"

"Believe me, if it was Chucky he'd be up and moving by now. The most I can do is drag myself around." Nica responded bitterly, that was one of the facts she resented the most. That he could walk in her body when she had always been considered as less by people because he took that from her.

"How did I get here?"

"Oh um, Andy found both of us in Tiffany's car and him and Kyle got us out before she came back." Junior started, he made sure to stay where he was and kept his hands in plain sight. He had never wanted to hurt Nica in that house but he knew Nica really had no way of knowing that, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her again. "Look, what happened at the house. I, I didn’t, wasn't going to hurt you. I just didn't know what to do or what they would do."

Nica looked at the boy, she could see the same nervousness in his face as she did in that house. She was still hesitant but she knew she couldn't hold what happened against, Junior? As far as she knew, he could have ended up just like Alice if it hadn't been for Andy and Kyle. 

"It, it's okay," Nica began, "believe me I know how manipulative Chucky can be."

"We've got pizza if you're hungry, it's pretty cold now but-" Jake then cut Lexy off, "Or we have other food in the kitchen." 

"The pizza will be fine." Nica responded quickly, she couldn't remember the last time she ate and she imagined Chucky isn't one to take care of himself, especially in her body.

"Here, take your pick." Devon passed her a pizza box containing all of the leftover slices. 

"Thank you." Without further discussion Nica took the first piece she saw, without even acknowledging the toppings. She couldn't remember the last time she had a meal that wasn't God awful hospital food, let alone pizza.

"I'm guessing you still have a lot of questions." 

Nica, looked up at Andy and slowly nodded. She finished off the slice of pizza before responding.

"Uh, yeah. Honestly, I'm not really sure where to start."

"How about we tell you what we know and then you do the same for us?" Kyle suggested as she entered the room again with a glass of water, "I thought you might be thirsty."

"Thanks." Nica responded, reaching for the glass with a small smile.

The others proceeded to explain everything they knew about the current situation as Nica finished off the pizza, grateful to have anything close to a decent meal. 

"Well that explains why Chucky wanted me to kill, I knew there had to be something in it for that bastard." 

"Chucky tried to make you kill? When?"

"Just before he possessed me at Harrogate, one of the doctors."

"Foley?" Andy asked hesitantly. The mention of that man's name made Nica shudder before turning to Andy. 

"How'd you know that?"

"It's kind of a long story but I had spoken to him a few times."

"Why?"

"To, um, to try and visit you or prove you innocent I guess." 

Andy's eyes kept flickering down to the floor, too shy to watch Nica's reaction to what he just told her. He made the mistake of taking a quick glance at the others only to be met with Junior with a much bigger smirk on his face than before, almost identical to the one Kyle was pulling next to him. The same one she pulls when she thinks she knows better, or when he says he's not a bad driver. Which he isn't.

Meanwhile, Nica wasn't sure what to do. She was still trying to comprehend what Andy said, and why would he do that? Genuine kindness had been such a rare thing for her since Chucky, it felt alien to her. She wanted to ask more about it, but she could see Andy nervously looking at the floor and decided it was best to ask them with less of an audience.

"Sorry," Kyle began, "but going back to the subject of possession, I guess we should ask how often you've been in control."

"Um, about two or three times I think. I think there have been some moments where I'm slightly aware of what was going on but I didn't have control."

"Well, when were the times you were in control?"

Nica hid her face in her hands for a second, trying desperately to fight the headache that began whenever she tried to think about past moments she was in control over Chucky.

"The first time I remember was November 8th so that was, what's the date today?"

"November 13th" Jake pitched in.

"Right. 5 days ago, okay. Then it happened again, I think a day or two later? Then again when you two were there." Nica gestured over to Junior and Devon before directing her next question to the latter. "Actually, I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you get to that house?"

"Oh, I had gone to investigate." Devon responded quickly, anxious to go into further detail after seeing the confusion Nica had faced since being possessed. Although, the attempt was in vain. Nica could tell something was wrong and then it hit her.

"Oh God!" She began, "I was the one that hurt you, wasn't I? I'm so sorry, are you okay n-"

Devon immediately cut off her apologetic rambling,  "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine now. Honestly, it's alright. I know it was Chucky, it's not your fault."

Nica, looked over at the boy and gave him a smile and a small nod of thanks.

“So, do you have any idea what makes you change?” Lexy questioned.

“Um,”

“Tiffany slapped her when we were there,” Junior cut in, “that’s what made her switch back to herself. Don’t know how much that helps though.”

“Actually, it might. When I woke up the first time there was a guy that was tied up, I tried to free him but he ended up hitting me, which makes sense I guess but that’s the last thing I remember from that.” 

“What about the other time? Is there anything else that could have an effect?” Kyle pitched in, leaning closer.

“Uh, Tiffany hit me in the back of the head with something, that’s the last thing I remember from the second time. As for other things, blood maybe? That always seems to be near Chucky and Tiffany, I’m not sure if that affects anything though.”

“We could always test it!” With that Junior got up and made a move for the kitchen, Andy jumped up in response. “Woah, Kid what are you doing?!”

“Getting a knife.” Junior then clocked the concerned expressions of the others in the room. “Not like that. Just a small one, you know? To make a little cut and see if the blood works. No big deal.”

“Hang on,” Nica responded, looking around the room. “Someone tie my legs first, that will at least stop Chucky a little,  if this does work.”

Kyle swiftly picked up the rope on the ground that had bound Nica’s hands previously before moving towards Nica, who moved the blanket to one side. Kyle made quick work of tying Nica’s ankles together, double and triple knotting the rope just to be sure. That was when Junior returned to the room with a small vegetable knife, the sight of it caused the nerves to begin to sink in for Nica and she turned to her right to see Andy giving her a small reassuring smile.

“You ready?” Kyle asked, taking the knife from Junior and putting her own gun on the table next to her as Andy held his own, suddenly avoiding all eye contact with Nica. Nica took a deep breath, “Yeah.”

Kyle made a small cut on the palm of her hand before turning it to Nica, her gun now in the other hand. It only took a second of looking at the blood before the dreaded sinking feeling washed over her again and she let out a small whimper of fear before falling back.

The others kept their eyes fixed on her form, a gun in each of the adults’ hands. That was when Chucky let out a groan, pushing himself up and clicking his neck. 

“Kids, stand back.” Andy warned them, they didn’t need to be told twice, Devon had already begun to move back, grabbing Jake's hand to make sure he followed. Next to them, Lexy and Junior did the same. 

Chucky opened his eyes, legs struggling against the binds and looked around before he landed on Andy pointing the gun at Nica’s body. Chucky let out a smug chuckle before speaking, “Well, this is familiar. Ain’t it, Andy?” All of them remained silent, Andy seemingly frozen in place, refusing to take his eyes off of Chucky. “What? Ya not gonna shoot this time? No, of course ya won’t, not now you know she’s still in here.”

“Shut it, fucker.” 

“Wouldn’t want to shoot a pretty girl, r- agh!” Chucky was cut off as Kyle fist collided with Nica’s face, causing Chucky to fall back once again. Nica let out a gasp as she regained control before slowly sitting up again. “I’m guessing it worked.” she said weakly as she raised a hand up to her jaw.

“Uh huh,” Lexy responded, slightly bewildered. “At least we know how to get you back now.” Nica smiled at that, it was nice feeling as if she had some form of control again, and it seemed the others were reassured by that as well. Well, all except Andy, who seemed to be avoiding looking at her at all costs. 

Kyle decided to take over before things got awkward, “Right, so now that theory has been proven right, What’s the plan?”

[alicesought]

{{ Okay my melancholy is mildy improved we're rambling again immediately I have recently been informed that in cut content for the first game, Jervis was originally going to appear ( They were thinking of my boy since the beginning! I swear someone on that team earnestly liked Jervis Tetch ) and make a maze to entertain the children's side of the asylum and also a death trap for batman, taking the player through a creepy children's asylum themed level.

I am....... forever mourning that that didn't happen now. But I will absolutely incorporate that into my Jervis' main verse canon, oh boy howdy let me talk about this--

For one-- the thought that there is a children's side of a hospital that dangerous is just.... mwah. Gothic, campy medical incompetence at its finest.

And secondly, I earnestly and sincerely have just enough, if only just enough, faith in the creators of the Arkham series and their portrayal of Jervis to believe that they honestly intended to depict him not doing any harm to the mentally ill children. In fact, it sounds like his very presence there, and the fact he chose to set up base in that location right away, may have actively protected them from the danger of the other escaped inmates and kept them busy while their caretakers were undoubtedly unable to be there. He probably turned the place into a playground of bad behavior and gremlin chaos, but still, technically someone was overseeing them.

Because based on the wording, he had two distinct intentions here: One, to make a deadly riddle box for Batman if he showed up to end the fun, and two... to entertain the hospital children. Just... have fun with them. And so I can only imagine Jervis caught wind, like the other rogues, that Joker was up to The Big Plan, knew the asylum was about to become a warzone, and said " I'm going straight to the children's infirmary to play with the children " and that is just

He's such a teddy bear...

And I feel that their intent was definitely to depict him as being fond of them because there's a few lines, even in other games, that implies he has an innocent respect for children and childhood, he thinks childhood should be a happy thing. Which of course stands out, due to how easy it would be to play up the edgier depiction and make him a very gross character without much of an ideology. But uniquely, despite his disheveled and dirty appearance, his edgiest humor comes from gay jokes which.... read more like gay subtext in modern day lmao. Even during the Alice rescue mission in origin, they never depict him making inappropriate comments and mostly let him just explain why he thinks he needs to save Alice. And later games always depict him as a very sad and sympathetic figure with a nuanced perspective, never a gross and simple one. And by no account were they under obligation to do that other than someone on the writing team respected his character enough to try. It warms my heart. I think I really love Jervis in the arkham series, and I appreciate them repeatedly trying to squeeze him in wherever they could fit him, even if they couldn't quite write in as much as they wanted. ( I think, even the DLC mission was nearly cut content but they persisted and put it in as post game hooray- )

I'm getting off topic-- but yes, I think I will definitely be adding " Jervis is kind to the inpatient children " to the list of things I rotate in my brain about him. }}

[scentedflowersong]

A Swen's Guide to the Into the Story-Verse Alternate Realities

Ladies and, in a broader sense, gentlemen, as December begins, we’re back with another entry to our humble guide, where we go through the alternate realities presented in the Into the Story-Verse fic - the last (for the time being) part of the Swan-Mills saga by the brilliant @swanqueeneverafter​

And our regular readers will know which reality are we gonna discuss this week...

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Code name: Gamma Reality

First entered: by Will Scarlet in chapter 11

Set: Wonderland (with flashes of Victorian England, the Enchanted Forest, and Agrabah), past till present-ish (it’s complicated this time, okay?)

Fixed by: true love’s kisses - first between Will and Anastasia, second between Alice and Cyrus - both in chapter 47

Unfinished business: for Will - not giving up on Anastasia, for Alice - saving her brother (partly from himself)

Gamma reality is the longest-running alternate reality of all of the six realities portrayed in ITSV. Much like Beta Reality, Gamma influences our reality greatly, and even intertwines with it.

We follow the story of the Scarlet siblings from Alice’s pitiful childhood spent in an asylum where her own father puts her after she returns from Wonderland. That’s where Will finds Alice when he enters this reality and with the help of the White Rabbit rescues her.

The driving force behind Gamma Reality is Jafar, who chooses this reality because it’s where Cyrus - the genie he needs the most hides. Cyrus, who as it turns out, Gamma Realty’s Alice fell in love with in the past. Cyrus, who at the same time he’s in Jafar’s cell in Wonderland’s past is kept locked in Hengist’s fortress and being searched for by his mother in our reality. Toldya, it’s... complicated.

As Jafar seeks to force Alice into using her three wishes so he could become Cyrus’s new master, Anastasia, or rather the Red Queen, works with him, because she wants to break the laws of magic and return back in time to change her fate as every other ‘evil queen’.

 The ‘problem’ is, Anastasia may be a heartless bitch, but she still loves Will, and so the two love stories run next to one another, one almost naive - Alice and Cyrus, the other heartbreakingly bittersweet - Will and Anastasia. All the time Jafar tries to become Cyrus’s master and everyone else tries to stop Jafar for good.

Alice’s wishes are actually when the twisty turny timey wimey business comes in, because Alice wishes Cyrus, his mother, and the White Rabbit into our reality, and since they’re not human, the change of reality doesn’t affect their sense of self, they can use being in the ‘future’ to their advantage.

Jafar ultimately ends up being turned into a genie himself after Amara returns the magical water to the Well of Wonders. However, before that, he managed to kill Anastasia - nothing a true love’s kiss wouldn’t fix though.

Let’s also not forget the powerful parallels of the father/son relationships of Jafar and Sultan and Will and Edwin.

And so, we leave the reality after Alice and Cyrus’ wedding, beautifully paralleled in our reality’s long-awaited wedding of Robyn and Alice.

SQ storyline

Like the Alpha Reality, Gamma Reality gave us a glimpse of Emma and Regina’s story in this reality in the Epilogue, since the main storyline followed the Scarlet Siblings. Since this storyline hasn’t been commented on before (well, by me), let’s briefly go over it...

Princess Emma asks her father whether the rumours of the Evil Queen returning are true, Charming tells her not to worry - oh, Charming, fear was the latest thing on your daughter’s mind...

...instead of staying in the safety of the castle, the Princess follows the Evil Queen’s tracks to a village to hear the truth about how Snow defeated the Queen and also to not so subtly ogle her mother’s nemesis...

...and because lust-filled stares weren’t the only thing the two women exchanged, not long afterwards the Charmings find the Princess taking care of the Evil Queen, just not in the ‘killing’ sort of a way (even though it’s not called la petite mort for nothing, I suppose)...

...which they do in the last moment we see them - the Evil Queen and her Warrior Princess laying waste to Snow’s kingdom and happy ending...

...Emma also informs them that she’s joining Regina and they’ll soon take the kingdom back...

[swvlswvl]

Best Music of 2022: SVL’s Picks

Previously: 2021 2020 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014

Might post more thoughts later, but for now: These are the albums I couldn’t get enough of in 2022. Truly an amazing year for new music!

TOP 40 ALBUMS

Bartees Strange, Farm to Table (4AD)

Pusha T, It's Almost Dry (G.O.O.D./Def Jam)

Alvvays, Blue Rev (Polyvinyl)

Sunflower Bean, Headful of Sugar (Mom + Pop)

The Smile, A Light for Attracting Attention (XL)

FKA Twigs, Caprisongs (Young/Atlantic)

Zora, Z1 (Get Better)

Bad Bunny, Un Verano Sin Ti (Rimas)

Soccer Mommy, Sometimes, Forever (Loma Vista)

Alex G, God Save the Animals (Domino)

Wilco, Cruel Country (dBPM)

Taylor Swift, Midnights (Republic)

Beyoncé, Renaissance (Parkwood/Columbia)

Angel Olsen, Big Time (Jagjaguwar)

Kurt Vile, Watch My Moves (Verve)

Empath, Visitor (Fat Possum)

Ribbon Stage, Hit With the Most (Perennial)

Katie Alice Greer, Barbarism (FourFour)

Trupa Trupa, B Flat A (Glitterbeat/Lovitt)

Pictoria Vark, The Parts I Dread (Get Better)

Blackpink, Born Pink (YG/Interscope)

Spoon, Lucifer on the Sofa (Matador)

Interpol, The Other Side of Make-Believe (Matador)

Saba, Few Good Things (Pivot Gang)

Say Sue Me, The Last Thing Left (Damnably)

Bruce Springsteen, Only the Strong Survive (Columbia)

Flasher, Love Is Yours (Domino)

Mitski, Laurel Hell (Dead Oceans)

Charli XCX, Crash (Asylum)

Lucrecia Dalt, ¡Ay! (RVNG Intl)

The Weeknd, Dawn FM (XO/Republic)

Tomberlin, I Don't Know Who Needs To Hear This... (Saddle Creek)

Billy Woods, Aethiopes (Backwoodz)

Cola, Deep in View (Fire Talk)

Flo Milli, You Still Here, Ho? (RCA)

Phoenix, Alpha Zulu (Glassnote)

Grace Ives, Janky Star (True Panther)

Belle and Sebastian, A Bit of Previous (Matador)

Jana Horn, Optimism (No Quarter)

Los Bitchos, Let the Festivities Begin! (City Slang)

[tuulikannel]

Fran Bow & Chekhov's gun

(The title is a joke and at the same time it isn't ^^;;)

Spoilers for the very end of the game (and a pretty sad theory about it.)

When I first played the game (and the second and the third time too), I had totally forgotten about the gun Fran found in the very beginning in the nurse's desk. She thought then something like, "why does the nurse have this, she's going to kill us all!" And then, at the very end, we see Dr. Oswald shooting Fran with what I'm now sure has to be the very same gun.

Now, here's the sad theory: Fran really is crazy. Everything (and I mean absolutely everything) is her imagination. Little Fran in ch. 5 is a memory from the past, and she is already then at the asylum. When Fran thinks she's been chained to her bed, she in fact being restrained in the asylum. When she's freed, she's perhaps being taken to see the doctor... or maybe to the dreadful basement. Maybe when she descends into Mabuka's heart, maybe that's when she's taken to the downstairs.

And then, because of her hallucinations she attacks someone (probably not Aunt Grace but a nurse), and the old nurse shoots her to stop her. And so she dies... and at the very end imagines all her friends coming to save her.

I think her hallucinations are based on things she has heard in the asylum (for example, rumors about the twins and their fate). Also, she surely knows the story of Alice in Wonderland, and that probably had an effect on her too. We saw in ch. 5 a photo of her and her friend Alice (even though she earlier said her cat was her only friend!) And this Alice supposedly liked coming up with stories about a wonderland she could visit. Maybe she too was an imaginary friend? Or another insane girl in the asylum who thought she was the Alice of the story...

I wonder if Mr. Midnight even existed. The little Fran didn't know anything about him. And in that photo of Fran and Alice (if it is real), she has something that looks like stuffed toy cat.

What was behind Fran's madness, then? Perhaps she was crazy from birth. (I'm still wondering if she didn't have a stillborn twin. There are references to stillbirth in the game.) Or perhaps her relationship with her parents wasn't quite that good (I've talked about this before, but that "daddy wasn't there, mommy would not care" really hints at that), and maybe she did kill her parents, or at least attacked them. The way she says "everything is fine" makes me think the opposite might be true.

I wonder if her parents were killed the way it's shown in the beginning. After Fran wakes up from the hypnotism, the nurse asks the doctor if there was anything new, and he replies, "same visions as before." Perhaps they are only that. Visions. Delusions. Who knows?

In any case, Fran has some kind of a trauma, that is for sure. The nurse's book in the beginning had a mention that children with trauma might find it hard to trust people. Perhaps this is why Fran thought Aunt Grace had betrayed her (after all, Grace didn't get her out of the asylum).

Well... I don't know. And of course, it's impossible to claim that any theory would be the only true one. I think this is what I believe at the moment though... that sadly, none of it is real, she spent the whole time in the "House of Madness" and in the end died there.

...the first chapter was called "My Sober Day." That was the only chapter where we saw her in the real asylum. Perhaps that was the only time in the game when she was sober... that is, clear-headed at all. And from then on, she just went downhill. Maybe she did steal some pills that fed her hallucinations.

Any thoughts, anyone?

[cielsosinfel]

After 20 years, I beat American McGee's Alice...

This PC game originally released in 2000, and I played it in 2002 or 2003, when I was 8~9. I couldn't get very far in it back then because 1) the controls were atrocious (moreso now), 2) I did not have the patience even for video games with decent controls 3) It freaked me out way too much (Coming back to it now, it's a wonder it was ever considered the height of dark gritty edgy gorefest horror. There's barely any blood.) But the character was very meaningful for me as a young child who was dealing with a lot. Also it was very rare to find female characters who were the main, playable character in action games, let alone darker-themed ones.

But I beat it! Finally!!! Two decades later! And while the gameplay is beyond frustrating (I used godmode cheats for 80% of this playthrough), I think I appreciate it even more now since I can more fully read into what's there in the story; reading MORE into it than what is actually there, more like, but. Alice is a character wholly subsumed in her survivor's guilt, her depression, her desire to no longer be alive. All of these feelings festering corrupt and pollute the dreamland that was her safe space, her source of comfort, for her whole childhood; she loses her parents, and then when at the breaking point of mental turmoil, she goes to her Wonderland, she realizes she's lost all of her friends there as well. She has to watch them each die one by one as she fails to make it in time to save them. She is continuously taunted that she will always be insane, always have blood on her hands, never be strong enough or stable enough to save others or herself, and there's nothing she can do about it.

But then she reaches the Red Queen, who was always herself and her trauma writ in a simulacrum of flesh. She cuts her trauma and all of her ugly, self-loathing thoughts into (literal) bloody chunks. She's been chewed up and utterly devoured by the worst of her emotions and fears and suicidal self-hatred, and tears through it with her knife, accepts it for what it is and decides she no longer wants to be afraid of it, and comes out the other side with Wonderland and herself whole and shining.

She starts the game in an asylum, and walks out of it of her own accord with a smile on her face looking brightly into her future.

I think there are still issues with the portrayal of mental health and institutionalization in this, as there will always be in media of this nature and of this era especially, but at the same time, I appreciate the ending of her walking out of the asylum of her own free will with a smile on her face.

I have a lot I could talk about this... But look how long this is... its almost 5am... And there's too much that's way too personal that I don't want to get into here. But, for all of its faults and pitfalls, I still appreciate the skeleton of a story this game constructed. Even if I think it could have gone way deeper and think that the writing is actually pretty sparse on a replay.

[ficsforgaza]

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The Case Study of Jeweler Richard, The Case Study of Vanitas, Castlevania, Chainsaw Man, Code Geass, Cowboy Bebop, Court of Darkness, Cyberpunk 2077, Daiya no Ace, Danganronpa, A Date with Death, Dead by Daylight, Death Note, Death Parade, Degrees of Lewdity, Demon Slayer, Detroit: Become Human, Diabolik Lovers, The Disastrous Life of Saiki K., Disco Elysium, Doki Doki Literature Club!, Dragon Age, Dungeon Meshi

↳ Fandoms E through G

End Roll, Ensemble Stars, Erased, Fairy Tail, Faith: The Unholy Trinity, Fallout, Far Cry, Final Fantasy, Find Love or Die Trying, Fire Emblem, Friday Night Funkin’, Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Fruits Basket, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gachiakuta, Gangsta, Genshin Impact, Gintama, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS), The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

↳ Fandoms H and I

Hades I & II, Haikyuu!!, Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF), Hell’s Paradise, Hetalia, Hitman, Honkai Star Rail, Howl’s Moving Castle, Hypnosis Mic, Ib, Identity V, Ikemen Prince, Ikemen Villains, Imaginary Friend Asylum, Inuyasha

↳ Fandoms J through L

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Jujutsu Kaisen, Kaiju No. 8, Kamisama Kiss, Kingdom Hearts, K Project, Kuroko’s Basketball, League of Legends, The Legend of Zelda, Life is Strange, Link Click, Little Nightmares, Long Live the Queen, Love & Deepspace

↳ Fandoms M and N

Madoka Magica, Mahoyaku, Mass Effect, Metal Gear, Miraculous Ladybug, Mob Psycho 100, Moriarty the Patriot, My Hero Academia, Mystic Messenger, Naruto, Night in the Woods, Noragami

↳ Fandoms O through R

Obey Me, Obscura, Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, Omori, One Piece, One Punch Man, Osomatsu-san, Ouran High School Host Club, Our Life, Outer Worlds, Overwatch, Palia, Persona 4, Persona 5, Pokémon, Portal, Princess Tutu, Project SEKAI, The Promised Neverland, Psycho Pass, Rainbow Six Siege, Record of Ragnarok, Red Dead Redemption, Resident Evil, Revolutionary Girl Utena

↳ Fandoms S through Z

Saints Row, Sally Face, Scum Villain’s Self Saving System, Sk8 the Infinity, Skyrim, Soul Eater, Splinter Cell, Spy x Family, The Stanley Parable, Stardew Valley, Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League, Super Mario Bros, Tears of Themis, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Revengers, Touchstarved, Tougen Anki: Dark Demon of Paradise, Tower of God, Trigun Stampede, Twisted Wonderland, The Uncle Who Works for Nintendo, Undertale, Valorant, Vinland Saga, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Watch Dogs, What in the Hell is Bad?, Wind Breaker, The Witcher, Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop, Wuthering Waves, Xenoblade Chronicles, Yona of the Dawn, Your Turn to Die, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yuri!!! on Ice, YuYu Hakusho, Zombie Land Saga, 18Trip

[raubtierfuetterung]

Howl‘s Moving Castle the Book is even better than Howl‘s Moving Castle the Anime. I have been enchanted. It’s wise and magical and witty and I fully believe in it as a true story. (I don’t mind if I get branded mad, I think those who understand what I’m on about are the ones who truly matter!) The book has been written with blood from my wrung out heart I feel. It’s like it’s been a part of me even before I read it.

It has all the good stuff I liked in the anime and none of the unironic kitschiness. It forms a Holy trinity with Harry Potter and Krabat. And maybe Alice in Wonderland too. OH AND FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST BROTHERHOOD!!! But I think Howl’s my favourite 😭😭 I want to become a great wizard more than anything. And I will! (Mental Asylum calling, I know I know, but do I care….? I want to be a weird uncle like Howl…) (yes, I know that the Psychologists call this schizotypy, I do see that to the average prosaic surface level mind I present just a girl prone to insanity. But you do realise that science is just inventing names and vague descriptions of empirical evidence? Whilst magic is the transgression of the Laws of Nature, breaking free from the physical form and human nature? Magic is the deconstruction of everything that has been witnessed by science. Wizardry, the transgression of organic matter, is the only freedom there is. Scientific work, with all it’s microscopes, engines, spacecrafts, power lines and explosives, is like vermins constructing their burrows. (Most people don’t think that a vermin has free will. But miraculously they do think that an enlightened homo sapiens sapiens lab scientist does. They are dumbly proud that they are a bunch of dull, unfree vermins IN OUTER SPACE. How great, this is so shameful ) It might be considered beautiful and kind of cute and it might come in handy for the species doing it. But it is not magical. It is caged in itself. It is slaves of the flesh admiring their own chains as a wondrous, mystical exhibit. Meticulously describing the way they drag across the paved-to-death-street. Giving names to the metal components it’s made of in Latin. And religion is the same. All about the flesh. Science and religion are both so far from magic - truth and freedom that is. The being of everything possible that is. Creation just for the beauty, just for the mind that is. Borderless, shapeless One-ness. Pure intellect, none of the flesh. I really wonder how science has ever been associated with coldness, intellect and magic when it is so obviously about the flesh, about carnality…when they build explosives and drive cars, develop medical equipment and artificial fabrics to satisfying their lust for revenge, their disdain and desire for the flesh, penetrating only their greed and human emotional-bodily needs, when they employ science to kill their enemies in the masses and save their dirty pathetic worthless human vermin lives. I think a life is not worth a dime. And a dime is not worth anything. Worth is not a category to think in! Political power is carnal and lowly. Emotions are the primitive rage of the flesh. And science serves it’s primitive madness, it serves the fear for life and the hate of the enemy equally. It serves primitive violence and hunger for power and want for domination. A vain, power-hungry and cruelly arrogant seeking of knowledge on matter. Seeking to answer the question: How can we kill this [thing]? And when will [thing] kill us?

Oh oh oh I’d rather be eaten by lions than be hit by a car, I’d rather be eaten by the lions. The arrogance of the human species ashames me, because oh there is only ever arrogance paired with violently primitive ignorance. Fear of death makes us despicable )

The most magical thing there is is death. Death is the most magical and beautiful thing there is. Dying, and being pleased to die: this is the most significant act of wizardry. The hour of my death will mark the threshold of my journey to wizardry, freedom!

I think I shall be one of the few who truly grow to love death. I shall know and befriend death, the withering and the tides, the winds and the dunes, the shooting stars and the continental plates

[characternerdocs]

🎮 — favorite video game(s)?

munday asks ||| @icybreaths

Some of my favorite games, first has to be Alice: Madness Returns. Not only do the game and the games version of Alice sort of inspire Heather and Vincent’s characters. (Vincent I feel has grow into the male verison of Alice Liddell as he has emerged from his cocoon of villian and had turned into a beautiful anti-hero moth. While Alice’s impromptu trips into Wonderland she makes through the game and her “powers” were inspirational to Heather’s creation. I believe from day one I was pulling from Madness Returns for Heather’s character.)

ANYWAY, besides that. I love this game’s story, it actually the sequel to American McGee’s Alice, but I really like Madness Returns because the story of the game is just *Cheif’s Kiss* fantastic in my mind. I feel like there are a lot of dark retellings of Alice in Wonderland which can either be a hit or miss, but this one does it so well. In the first game, Alice is fighting to save Wonderland from the Jabberwock and the Queen of Hearts, personifications of Alice’s survivor’s guilt and all of the negative emotions and thoughts respectively. After defeating them, saving Wonderland, all a metaphor for her mental health, Alice is release from Rutledge Asylum, where she had been since the fire that claimed the lives of her parents and sister. A fine story, but Madness Return's is so much better. Come to find out after years of thinking she is to blame for the fire, and once again Alice must save Wonderland as a train (of all thing?) is destroying the land by reclaiming her memories from the night she lost her family, and remember that really cause their family’s death. And the truth is REALLY fucked up. At least it was to a little middle school aged me when I first encouraged it.

I also really like Hades, and am excited for the second one. Prolly should try to finish the first game though. But I like Hades cause I’m not good at video games, but Hades does reward you for failing. To level yourself up you have to die. and I like Greek Mythology so it’s fun.

I also like a weird phone game called Simulacra. I know there were two other games that came out after it, Simulacra 2 and Simulacra: Pipe Dreams, but the first one is the best cause of what you don’t know until the very end of the game. Which the other two have a very similar forum but with the same “twist” that the player already knows is coming because of the first game. But the first Simulacra is great. it’s an interesting commentary on the different persona we create for our online presence vs our offline self. I wrote a paper on it in college for one of my digital media classes.

Finally my friend at work has got me hooked on Skyrim. I’m like ten years late to this game it would seem, but I’m having a romp through this fantasy game. I have little idea what’s happening to be honest as I am basically a murder hobo, walking from city to city, but somehow I have like 30000 gold now. I know there is a plot, but my ADHD brain just distracted by all the caves with bandits, undead, and vampire to fight that I forget the quest I set off to do. I think I got like 70 hours into the game until I actually did something for the main quest killed a dragon and got the shouty powers.

Thanks for that ask @icybreaths

[floral-sacrifice]

shoutout to american mcgee’s alice for giving us a game protagonist that speaks up for herself !! she not only asks why she’s supposed to do xyz, but also asks why her . (incoming yap under the cut)

it’s been a minute since i played the first game, but when she comes back to wonderland , cheshire cat is like “girl ur mental instability is destroying wonderland. chill” and she’s like “no i WONT chill. i’m gonna go on this adventure for my OWN benefit.”

in the second game (which i’m way more familiar with) the duchess is like “go get my pepper grinder and pepper these pig snouts” and alice is like “pepper them urself bitch…” and moves to leave. then the duchess says “no wait i have a reward if u do this” so ofc alice does it to get those teeth n pepper grinder weapon. the citizens of the mysterious east are like “omg it’s the chosen one she’s here to save us” and alice is like “i’m literally only here because 1) i fainted again oops and 2) i’m trying to find the caterpillar” but she ends up helping anyway !! bc she gets it !!! she sees their suffering and sees how it reflects her own (it’s literally her own mind) and she helps them !!

i mean the game opens with alice literally losing her sanity and screaming over wonderland’s destruction. when alice gets to chapter 5, she obviously helps the insane children in order to destroy the train, but she also feels for them. they accuse her of ignoring their plight (mirroring the children in her real life) and choosing to look the other way in an attempt to save her own psyche, and they point out how it’s not helping. alice admits that she’s afraid to see the truth. but when she finds out what the extent of the truth is in the factory?? she’s pissed. she comes up to the dollmaker swinging like “you piece of shit murderer , abuser, disgusting waste of space, you’ll pay for what you’ve done” she had that sense of righteousness that solidifies her personality as a protagonist. she does the work not because she’s a push over, but because it’s the right thing to do. she doesn’t give a fuck if it’s hard or not. she’s warned countless times through her journey by the cat that the way forward is extremely difficult and it may take even more of her mind from her. her response? “you don’t scare me, get another job” as she walks forward into the burning reminds of her childhood retreat. she’s already dealt with the queen in the first game, she’s withstood her psychological attacks, she’s seen her own face staring back at her through the mouths of someone she once trusted.

and when alice finds out who the doll maker really is ? she knows nobody would believe her. so she KILLS HIM. by pushing him INTO A TRAIN. the same train that he made to destroy wonderland, to destroy her mind, with the end goal of turning her into a lifeless doll that he can pimp out w the rest of the children.

the point is that throughout american mcgee’s alice, she acknowledges the danger, but she adapts to the situation. she shows tremendous fortitude as her world LITERALLY falls apart, as she faces abuse in the asylum, and later abuse under her employer who she TRUSTED to help her. as her world and mind are literally destroyed, she doesn’t break, doesn’t crumble. she’s seen shit. she’s just killed a man. but she knows it was the right thing to do. she doesn’t allow it to destroy her. she moves through this constantly changing landscape of her own mind, if not very happy about it, at least accepting and doing what she can to fix it. she doesn’t let anyone boss her around. whenever she’s faced with injustice, she IMMEDIATELY calls it out (carpenter, wasps, rabbit, game one queen, etc) she’s not afraid of consequences because she knows that she can deal with them. her skull is literally opened and her brains played with in the asylum, and she’s like “i’m not gonna let you win” and she Gets OUT. she CURES HER OWN CATATONIA. none of the treatments are working, so she enters her own self to find the root of the problem (red queen) and kills her. then she packs up and leaves at the end of the first game. she’s like “ok bye time to enter the workforce as a very young woman, i’m gonna be employed by who i think is a good person working to help kids” (she doesn’t know the truth yet obviously but intention matters)

i’m literally just like. ahhh i love alice. in any iteration. books, movies, games, she’s so cool and badass. aauuuughhh

in almost every other children's book where the main heroine is swept away to a land of whimsy she's shown having a lovely time; braving dangers occasionally, trying to find her way home, sure, but ultimately delighting in the magic around her. meanwhile alice spends her entire time in wonderland like