#satan making goat sounds at the people

[nopenototdaysatan]

It's blorbo Wind hours everyone!

Time for me to talk about the last of my trio of favorites. I have many thoughts about the wimdy boi. But to start I find it hilarious that I love wind because I am an older sibling. Having a younger brother that I would honestly go to war for makes Wind so much more relatable and I love him for it. But on that note I have thoughts about the expressive, excitable youngest of the chain.

Number one: One day I will have my need for twilight and Wind older sibling bonding hours satisfied. Those two could talk for hours about their siblings and what it's like to grow up with someone who looks up at them with stars in their eyes. And someone to talk about the horror of watching those younger siblings be stolen away from them with nothing they can do to stop it. Let alone starting a quest to get those people back. They'd have someone to go to when they miss their younger siblings, someone who would get it. I think it would take just one good emotional night for the two to learn they can rely on each other for that.

Number two: I've seen really good stories and stuff about wind having difficulties accepting being a younger brother to the chain but what about after that. The feeling where being neither the eldest nor the youngest (middle in my case) feels right. Like both feel like a lie now that you're in this weird in between because for years you were the eldest and you've always worn that title with pride but to call yourself the eldest now would be to deny that the others are your siblings as well. But to say you are the youngest (or middle) would be a denial of all you have done to try and be there for your younger sibling. It's this really weird place and I personally have never found a good answer to that question only finding that I can say that I am both even though that doesn't make much sense. I wanna see wind struggle and find his own answer to that question.

(It's kinda funny that Legend and Wind hold so much connection to my emotions and then I just like the multi colored smith because he's just a cool character and the fact that I love the colors.)

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Who Dares Summon Me: Human Vaggie & Charlie

Vaggie: (sitting in the living room of a piece of shit apartment and reading from a "demon summoning" book. the sound of gunfire and police sirens barely even registers to her ears anymore)

Vaggie: Okay, so I got the Pentagram, a goat (glances at two goat plushies she stole from a name brand toy store) Fuckers will live..... they make millions in a day.

Vaggie: Candles... (glances at the Bath & Body Works, cinnamon and vanilla scented candles)

Vaggie: And... blood.... uh.... (Looks at the bucket filled with water, corn syrup, red food coloring, and cocoa powder to help create a blood effect) Fuck... demons can tell the difference between real and fake blood, right? Dammit.

Vaggie: (cuts her finger with her pocket knife and lets] a few drops fall into the bucket) There. That should work. Now, let's see-

Lute: (comes out of her room half naked and throws a pair of panties at Vaggie) Yo, Vagina! Adam stole your underwear again as a prank, I guess. Here.

Vaggie: (gawks as she catches the garment and spikes it to the floor) Lute! What the fuck?! Can't you control your fucking boyfriend??? How did he even get into my room?! I keep it locked for that reason.

Lute: (grabs a beer out of the fridge, pops the cap off on the counter, starts chugging, and flips off Vaggie as she returns to her room for whatever round she and Adam are on)

Vaggie: Sick perverted sons of bitches... (turns back to the book) Read the forbidden script and make a pact. (Scoffs) Okay, edge lords. I'll give it a go.

Vaggie: (recites the script with some difficulty)

..........

Vaggie: (relaxes her back against the couch) Can't say I'm surprised. I literally bought this online for six-

-Fire tornado erupts from the Pentagram and burning red eyes stare down at Vaggie from the inferno-

Demon Charlie: WHO dares summon the powerful Princess of Hell- Oh, fuck!!! (Trips over the bucket and falls face first into Vaggie's lap, revealing that she is wearing a red dress with black thigh high stockings)

Vaggie: Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

Demon Charlie: (face still pressed against Vaggie's crotch) You have a very comfortable lap.

Vaggie: (grabs demon's horns and pulls her up so they're sitting in front of each other) You're actually a demon?

Demon Charlie: (blinks) Considering the fact that you're still holding my horns, I have this adorable little tail (waves her heart-shaped tail in hello), and I came straight up from Hell because of your summoning circle. Yup! (Sees the plushies and gasps) Oh! You even gave Razzle and Dazzle their own conduits! You're so sweet!

Vaggie: ...........Who?

Demon Charlie: Razzle and Dazzle! You know. My pets. It's written in chatper six, paragraph five, sentence three. (Snaps her fingers and the two goat plushies turn into two living goat demons with wings)

Vaggie: (scouring the book) What?!

Demon Charlie: (snuggling her boys) Also, I know you had to use a little of your own blood to make this work, which I promise to help heal that cut on your finger by the way, but Thank You So Much for just using fake blood! I always feel so bad when people actually use a bucket of real blood. I usually let my dad take those summonings.

Vaggie: (glances at the bucket rolling across the floor then back to the demon) Y-Youre dad?

Demon Charlie: Lucifer, the King of Hell. (Light bulb goes off) Oh! I never completed my introduction! I'm Charlie Morningstar, Princess of Hell and heir to the throne. Pleased to meet you!

Vaggie: Uh.... Vaggie.... I never would have expected the Princess of Hell to be so..... bubbly....

Demon Charlie: I get that a lot. Now! What can I do for you? How can I help? Do you need money? Power? A soul you'd like for me to devour?

Vaggie: N-No... nothing quite like that....

Demon Charlie: Oh, thank Satan! I hate eating souls. Most of them taste so bad!

Vaggie: Uh-huh.... Well.... I don't really have anything for you. I got bored and decided I'd try this out...

Demon Charlie: (disappointed) Really? But you sold me your virginity. Surely, there's something you want in exchange!

Vaggie: I'm sorry. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Demon Charlie: Drop of virgin blood and (holds up Vaggies lavender panties) an article of clothing that covers your most intimate desire.

Vaggie: (silently screaming)

Demon Charlie: H-Hey! If it makes you feel any better, I'm still a virgin, too! (Under her breath) Not from lack of trying on other asshole's accunts, but still....

Vaggie: Ay, Dios mio!

Demon Charlie: Well, I can't take your payment until you come up with something you want, soooooooo! (Transforms into a human)

Charlie: (snuggles up to Vaggie's side) I'll just have to stay here with you until you come up with something!

Vaggie: (catatonic)

[corspepointvision]

A New Pelle Interview from Death Power!!! From DeadFromMayhem.ru Dark Hel

Interview with Dead, done by Scottis Kriss-Toff.

LITTLE STORY ?

It’s always the same hard to give a brief history and to shrunk down about 6 years. So, I tell of the line-up of MAYHEM. After that MANIAC (ex-vocalist) and MANHEIM (ex-drums) left (straight after the recording of "DEATHCRUSH"), I joined MAYHEM in the early spring 1988 and HELLHAMMER joined about a month later. We’ve got terribly hassles with rehearsal places, somewhere to live, money, etc etc... But we don’t feel for give up only to continue when the band is the reason of our existence.(We would be dead without MAYHEM, eh ! ! !) We’re still trying to get enough of material together for the L.P. We do only songs that will last for years, not the shit songs that becomes a short-time trends,...I hate trends !

STYLE ?

We’re a Black Metal band!!

INSPIRATION ?

We're trying not to copy other styles, but every band has got inspirations even if they don’t think so by themselves. We’re still VENOM Heads (old VENOM of course) and VENOM created the music. I’ve got personal influences by different singers of course and to mention some: MANTAS/early DEATH, SARCOFAGO, POISON (german of course), PARABELLUM (the first demo) and early SEPULTURA.

PRODUCTION ?

By all these years, it has not been much of discocraphy.There have been "PURE FUCKING ARMAGEDDON" in 1986 limited to 100 copies, DEATHCRUSH in 1987, our second demo, our mini-L.P. DEATHCRUSH in 1987 limited to 1000 copies + some rehearsals tapes given out by MANIAC’s "MANIAC PROD".

ACTUAL LINE-UP ?

-DEAD (but still not buried) (vocals)

-EURONYMOUS (greek name for prince of death) (lead guitar)

-NECROBUTCHER (bass)

-HELLHAMMER (drums)

ACTIVITIES OUT OF THE BAND ?

-DEAD : immigrate to Transylvania, castle mania, cut deeply in myself and others, torture humans and animals.

-EURONYMOUS : dangerous expriments with chemicals, weird science.

-NECROBUTCHER : guru and pot-smooker.

-HELLHAMMER : hellish drunks always and then sings sailor songs.

REASONS OF THE NAME MAYHEM ?

It sound cruel enough we think. But as the most people who’re reading this now, there has been lots of other "MAYHEMS" all over the world, but we were the first ! The name is from 1982 when EURONYMOUS had a band then.

CAN YOU SPEAK ME ABOUT YOUR LYRICS ?

At "PURE FUCKING ARMAGEDDON" the lyrics were pretty VENOM clones. "DEATHCRUSH" had more slaughter, insanity, Eating corpses style over it. As for the new ones, I make them far and I’m possessed of transylvanian legends and its castles, satanic coven meetings, black art and nice animals as vultures, bats and goats. So that, I write of Evil ! I’m inspired by evil in everything I do. When I make a drawing, it’s to express evil, when I talk, when I dream, when I’m thinking... and when I create lyrics.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I TELL YOU THE FOLLOWING WORDS ?

Alcohol : Nothing left. Drug : Against. Cigarette : No smoking. Sexe : Violence and death. Politic : Crap! Religion : Evil, ancient, Satanic! Money : Broke always... A.I.D.S. : Marcin Wawreynzak (of "ETERNAL TORMENT"). Torture : Nice to do. Noise : Children’s bands!!! Dream (hope) : Transylvania, Immortality. Death : Peace. Life : Stupid mortals! Rain : By the night. Wind : In the dark forest. Thunder : At the darkened sky. Evil : Evil weather, castle. NAPALM DEATH : Trend! Earth : No hope. Wizard : Black arts. The end : Crossover, straight edge and Grind. You : The superstitious mortals in Transylvania’s dreams came true...

YOUR TEN FAVORITS BANDS ?

(this is not in order) PARABELLUM (R.I.P.) from Colombia, SARCOFAGO from Brazil, MASACRE from Colombia, DEATHPEED (R.I.P.) from Japan, POISON (R.I.P.) from Germany, DAMNATION (R.I.P.) from Canada, TORMENTOR from Hungary, IMPERATOR from Poland, GROTESQUE from SWEDEN, REENCARNACTION from Colombia.

Do you know MAYHEM, the MAYHEM from U.S.A. ? What do you think about what they do.

I hate them !!! How can a records company releases such crap, even if they are a commercial label !?! We gave out our mini-L.P. "DEATHCRUSH" a half year before they released their excrement compilation ! I suppose you’ve heard the Brazilian MAYHEM (?). They’re now splitted up but that was at least a Death Metal band and I liked their music. There has been also other MAYHEM’s in the history but they don’t exist no longer. I know of two other still existing MAYHEM’s : from Hungary and from Uruguay.

HAVE YOU ALWAYS PLAYED IN DEATH/BLACK/EVIL/ FROM THE DOOM BANDS ?

The two bands I’ve singing in are MORBID and MAYHEM, the both of them are Black Metal.

WHY DID YOU LEAVE MORBID ?

‘Cause the original guitarist of the line-up left the band and the others didn’t know if they wanted to continue like before and to remain a dirty and a Black/Satanic band. There had been too many hassles of the gigs and between the members, so, after my opinion, that band didn’t exist after the first demo "DECEMBER MOON". Later, they recorded a second demo with another line-up, new logo and completly different style than before. Something I think I have to add here is that we’re thinking of having one, just one more MORBID gig of the old style as MORBID was (and also should be) and we also think of the finish song "DEATH EXECUTION" that the "DECEMBER MOON" ends with (on the demo it’s only the la-la version slowly of the refrain and the opening riff). It was a whole song but a not finished such coz we were changing it the time during MORBID’s existence and then, have one or two more songs and then, give it out as a demo… some dark day.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHITE METAL (METAL FOR THE BIBLE, METAL FOR JESUS) ?

First of all, I don’t think it’s Metal. Then, I think as long as it can be called Metal it comes originally from VENOM… Even if there is Grindcore, fun-noise, straight edge-anti-everything or yucky white metal. To me, only Black is true and only death is real !!!

THEY ALWAYS SAY THEY WANTS TO MAKE GIGS WITH BANDS LIKE VENOM OR SLAYER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A GIG WITH STRYPER, VENGEANCE OR HOLY SOLDIERS ? WHY ?

It seems like the white « bands » believe Black Metal is only for fun… We’re a serious black band. We take this mortually serious! The « white » bands don’t deserve to exist.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD PROBLEMS WITH THE CHURCH OR ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS A RELIGION ?

Well, the chritians, new-boru christians, the mormons, hare-krishnas, Jehovas witnesses and more have tried lots of their methods of turn me into it, without success of course. The most of them, especially the christians and fanaticals but do not believe in it cos so many of them have been forced by their parents and their family to « believe » and, after that, they’re going out trying to make others join them… of the more limited believers who chose it by themselves and have got a belief in it, I use to scare them up (and to them it works almost every time) most of the cases. The all I have to do is to talk with them and they’re getting corpse pale in their faces and then realize I’m lost and impossible to turn over. One guy even tried an exorcism on me......

WHAT DO YOUR MOTHER THINK ABOUT MAYHEM ?

She (and also my dad) thinks it’s good for me that I’m in a band, so I don’t start with something stupid instead. It’s hell a work to play in a band, whatever someone might think. Only the letter writing is a full-day job. What she do not like is when I sometimes gets ideas of cutting myself up and when I lived at my parents home, none of them liked when I had parts of animals in my room (from some animals they used to start to rot already at the second day).

CAN YOU SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE SONG « BURIED BY TIME AND DUST »

Not the best lyrics I’ve done.

YOU SEEM TO LIKE BLACK SIDES OF THINGS, WHY ?

It simply is my way of thinking. The only that feels as the possible right to me. I search for the Evil and Black in all matters and I don’t give a dawn of what others are saying of that !

WHAT IS OCCULTISM FOR YOU ?

It sounds too mystical only, to me... I’m into the pure Evil and right on Black ! But with that I don’t mean I’m a great sorcerer. I mean of a though and a style of living.

I just don’t really know why I’ve hated all the fucking christans the whole life of mine and I’d search for the Evil darkness. I totally ignore those who are telling me I sicking my head I better go to hospital. Occult can be just anything that people think sounds strange to them. There is no actual limits of what is the occult… Yes mystic, it can be anything from practice. After my opinion, that word occult doesn’t say anything !

IF i TELL YOU "SATAN",WOULD YOU LIKE 95% OF THE TRASHERS, RUNNING AWAY DO A STRANGE FACE, SHIT ON YOURSELF, SAY "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT SATAN",AND GET ANGRY AFTER HAVING CALLED YOUR MOTHER ? WHY ?

Of course, I won’t run nor put shit on you. Mainstream people of clone bands used to fuck with the very few existing anti trend Black Metal bands when crossover-straight-edge-vegetarians ruled the trends… then grindcore was "in" and people used to refuse listen to anythong else than NAPALM DEATH, and so on... It’s not actually NAPALM DEATH who created this awful fashion actually, it was the children who then had to try playing fast. How I hated all the demos with hundred of second-sings and lyrics talking of how many animals that get killed coz of hamburgers and do not vegetables either coz they’re also living. AAAAARRGH !!! As what happens sooner or later with all trends they’re vanishing completly and everybody forget about it really fast. Even Death Metal became trend. At least, it’s on its way. So, what did happen to all the "important" lyrics bands that blamed all the others for not been "in". Did they went designing new fashions that everyone had to follow ? Hell no ! AAAAAAARRRHHHHGGHH-death, the mother fuckers jumped on Death Metal !!! How dared they make Death Metal to something normal that wimps are starting to play to await something new to appear… Next trend ! I will guess the most of the true BM heads (who’ve been into it since Venom) can understand what I mean here. It feels like something is really wrong when serious bands that wanna create something own musically are in ‘zines that also feature noise bands that have been existing for a week but already have released 3 demo’s or something like that and are playing in 25 differents "bands" only for fun. Bands that are sending picture of theselves who are supposed to be funny, strange glasses, toilet paper and a shirt on the head and so much other childish and above it all boring bullshit, I think those have misunderstood humour completely! I refuse to laugh of this! I cannot understand why everything has to be so fucking funny and how people can laugh at this, and if someone might laugh of this interview, I can tell him that he has misunderstood the whole point of this and the rest of this interview, read it again more carefully and he won’t find this funny at all! It’s not funny and I refuse to say something funny or laugh, everybody would misunderstand everything only. There’s so much that stupid people only seek for a good time, so they can laugh don’t understand by the music so I should even refuse listen to music... But that would be too hard to do and it needs more self control for that. The most of the new demo’s sound all the same, the originally is gone it seems. I can’t see why so many self-condemned bands have to exist. One weird thing is that when a band almost is formed they have to record a demo and straight after that, they "have to" give out something on vinyl... and then only after a few weeks they can’t understand how they could record this when they’re sounding much better now if they haven’t already forgot it.

DO YOU LIKE BLACK SABBATH (OLD ONES, WITH DIO AND OZZY) ?

Only with Ozzy! By dio I can listen to « Holy Driver » but nothing else.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A HEAVY METAL KIDS ?

Hey, I’m lucky I’m not a NAPALM DEATH/CARCASS kid. Well, then the most Evil, "Occult", dirty and the worst are BLACK SABBATH, KISS,IRON MAIDEN, AC/DC and MOTORHEAD, they were my faves. When I heard VENOM and MERCYFUL FATE, it felt like I lost an important part of my brain and I worshipped them.

WHY ARE YOU ANTI-MOSH ?

Cos I hate that word !!! I wanna hear an explanation of what the moshers actually do when they’re moshing...

LAST WORD...

"Antiquus Malum Cruentus Scriptum De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas" : It’s a book I recommend.

CREDITS:

Link To The Page: https://www.facebook.com/PerYngveOhlinTributePage

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Link To The Post:

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[mammons-lover]

Small Facts About the Obey Me Brothers

Note: The following information is based on what I've found online, none of this is canon. Some of the details touch on religious aspects, while others are more mythological. Please remember that these are not my personal beliefs, just interesting facts I've discovered.

Lucifer: Lucifer has a very good memory. Peacocks, which Lucifer is sometimes associated with, possess impressive memory capabilities and can recognize individual humans and other animals over long periods of time.

Mammon: Mammon can mimic people’s voices. This is inspired by crows, which use a variety of vocalizations and are excellent mimics. Crows can imitate a wide range of sounds, including human speech and those of other animals.

Leviathan: Leviathan is the second-eldest and can breathe fire. In mythological texts, Leviathan is described as a powerful sea creature that breathes fire and churns up the sea like an ink pot. (Also, many say the leviathan is a female, that is the highest-ranking demon, second only to Lucifer himself — she even outranks the Knights and Princes of Hell.)

Satan: Satan has very good vision. Goats, which Satan's horns resemble, have rectangular pupils that provide a wide field of vision (320 to 340 degrees), helping them avoid predators.

Asmodeus: Asmodeus has great hearing. Bats, which his wings resemble, have exceptional hearing and can distinguish high frequencies better than any other mammal. Bats use echolocation to hunt and communicate, and their large ears help them generate more lift.

Beelzebub: Beelzebub is color blind. This is because flies, which he is associated with, have limited color vision. Flies have only two kinds of color receptor cells, making it difficult for them to distinguish between certain colors, such as yellow and white.

Belphegor: Belphegor is a picky eater. Cows, which Belphegor is linked to, have over 19,000 taste buds and can differentiate between salty, sweet, sour, and bitter foods. They generally prefer salty and sweet foods and avoid sour ones, which are often toxic.

[sonofsatansworld]

Satan is my best friend!

I know this may sound a little frightening to you, but would you believe me if I told you this magical God-beast wanted to be your very best friend? He can grant you whatever you wish, like Santa Claus except you don’t have to be bad or good, you only have to be yourself. Whatever it is that makes you happy makes the Supreme Goat Father happy. And Satan, unlike Santa, doesn’t come round only once a year. He is there for you whenever you call upon his cursed name! … People will tell you that Devil Worship is bad. That it’s the wrong decision to make. Parents and teachers will warn you that it’s a negative path to go down. They may even react more adversely than you expected. You could be grounded for cut off from your allowance. Remember, though, this is only because of they are afraid of the powers you are about to harness. For this reason it is best that you keep your new religion hush-hush from your family and even some of your friends. It is okay to lie if it’s in your best interest. Your bond with the Lord Of Brimstone is a special secret. One that should not be casually shared with others.”

sonz of Satan unite!

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Gorgug Thistlespring Junior Year Playlist: Side A

Heres Gorgug's playlist! Literally the sweetest ever, deserves the world and more. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10

Genres Include: Alt Rock, Anti-Folk, Punk, Metal

1. Dashboard, Modest Mouse

Well, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know Oh, the dashboard melted but we still have the radio Oh, it should've been, could've been worse than you would ever know Well, you told me about nowhere Well, it sounds like someplace I'd like to go

Ok nothing made me laugh harder than the image of the Hangvan beat to shit and Gorgug still having to drive it back for two days straight. TWO DAYS STRAIGHT. Despicable. Deplorable. Hilarious.

2. The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton, Laura Jane Grace

When you punish a person for dreaming their dream Don't expect 'em to thank or forgive you The best ever death metal band out of Denton Will, in time, both outpace and outlive you Hail Satan, Hail Satan, tonight Hail Satan, hail, hail

This song is less of a 1 to 1 representation of Gorgug's situation and more like a song that, if he heard it at this specific time in his life, would utterly destroy him. I am really never gonna forgive Porter for the way he treated Gorgug, and as an educator, I never ever want to make anyone feel the way these fake people felt in their fake game. While this song is originally (and famously) by The Mountain Goats I really like the Laura Jane Grace cover. And I love it for Gorgug as a kind of wink to @rabdoidal 's transfem Gorgug hc, which is another thing I absolutely love.

3. Overbite, Sincere Engineer

Could have been a doctor if I really cared enough But I didn't have it in me I got distracted by a bunch of stuff I'm so stupid and empty My mind just wasn't in it And neither was my heart ... I'm not basing my intelligence on some fucking letters And now that it's over I did what I was told I had to do But I still feel just about as dumb as I used to I still feel just about as dumb as I used to

Gorgug Thistlespring took FOUR YEARS of classes. He did that. He did it and he fucking crit. He fucking got straight As on Artificer and didn't flunk Barbarian, which is basically a genius-level thing to do. Fuck Porter, and honestly? fuck Henry Hopclap for letting a 17-year-old do this to himself when he could have just confronted Porter himself LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE AN ADULT

4. Dragged Across the Finish Line, Sincere Engineer

I'm not trying to win I'm just trying to finish I don't know when it ends But I'm counting the minutes And I'm counting on you Yeah, I'm counting on you I remember when I knew it 'cause I saw it in your eyes And I did what I had to, I dragged you across the finish line It would be so nice If you could do that for me this time

Is this the second song in a row by Sincere Engineer on this 6 song playlist? Yes, it is, and I am not apologizing for it because it's perfect. Also, Sincere Engineer sounds like a band name that Gorgug would think of because that's what he is. Also I really like the way this kind of makes a parallel to Gorgug helping his friends (it's gorgug keep going) and them helping him do well in his classes with studying and everything.

5. Terrifyer, AJJ

Then it got personal, I saw my rage I just wanted to rage, but all I got was tired I tried to walk to the building, but the beauty it brittled me I tried to talk to the waiter, but the beauty gentled me I ran away from the security guard Because security guards dishearten me I said goodbye to my dignity Said goodbye to my dignity

I know that the structure of an adventuring school is different than something in the real world, and if we were to apply the current utilitarian models of education towards a system that prioritizes people who freak out and fight stuff and not just people who can churn out content and do services, it would make sense that teachers in this system can freak out on students and that's like normal, but I'm gonna say the most lukewarm take ever and say it's fucked up that Porter kept bending the rules for Fig and didn't do fucking anything for Gorgug, just to say that it was to "make him embrace his rage"

Like if we're gonna prioritize class excellence, then Porter should have been more than happy to help Gorgug find a class in which he felt more comfortable, even if, at the end of the day, Porter thought Gorgug should ultimately drop Barbarian.

6. St. Anger, Metallica

And I want my anger to be healthy And I want my anger just for me And I need my anger not to control And I want my anger to be me And I need to set my anger free And I need to set my anger free And I need to set my anger free Set it free

I have mixed feelings about the way Gorgug finally got his MCAT signed, because, like - yes, anger and rage aren't necessarily bad, and while Gorgug initially was repressing his anger in season 1, I really think that isn't the case anymore. And yet we have Porter pushing rage so hard in the "corrupting rage" season.

I truly believe that anger can be a beautiful and natural thing, that it keeps you safe in certain situations, that it shows you when you are being mistreated and lets you advocate for yourself. And I think that that is a lesson that a lot of the bad kids need to learn, specifically Kristin, Riz, and even Adaine (with the transition to using a sword and also the whole deal with Adaine's furious fists). But Gorgug already learned that lesson. Sometimes you don't have to be angry????

[nofomogirl]

Before the Beginning (part 1.4.)

Part 1.1. | Part 1.2. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.5. |

Part 2.1. | Part 2.2. | Part 2.3. | Part 2.4. |

Yes, hello, I have another scene I'd like to analyze.

It's the one in the Companion to Owls minisode, when Aziraphale and Crowley (and technically Job's kids in the form of three newts in a pot but I think we can ignore their presence) are in the basement waiting out the storm. They're relatively relaxed - the angel gorging on ox ribs and the demon enjoying his wine - and have a very interesting conversation.

Here's the whole thing:

A: Come on, you're a little bit on our side. C: Not even the littlest. A: Well, you're not on Hell's side. C: I go along with Hell as far as I can. A: So, whose side are you on? C: My side. A: Gosh. Well, that sounds... C: What? A: Lonely. C: Lonely? No, not lonely. Whose side are you on? A: God's, of course! C: Oh, really? The same God that wants me to whack the kids? A: Yes. But... C: Yeah... That's just how it started for me. See you in Hell.

What I want to address today isn't anything new, but it needs to be written. At least so that you knew where I stand. Anyway, it's no less exciting for being widely discussed already. I mean, is any of us tired of digging into the concept of sides? No, didn't think so. Having our boys talk about it, and so explicitly too, will never not be a treat and never not worth another meta.

So here I go: yes, I do believe Aziraphale is heavily misguided and confused about the whole thing, and it's the root of many issues in both seasons.

This whole exchange is a perfect example.

God had an argument with Satan about whether Job's faith was conditional. The man was exceptionally devoted but so far he experienced nothing but good fortune. But what if he didn't? What if he had to suffer the loss of everything he cared about?

They decided to find out.

Hell wanted Job to fail. To crack under all the misery and renounce God. Heaven... it's hard to tell really. I guess Heaven wanted Job to remain faithful so that God could win the bet but I think if he failed and needed to be punished it wouldn't be so terrible either.

What is crucial, however, is that both sides wanted the test to happen. They both wanted Job to suffer so they could see what happens.

Aziraphale knew it. But despite knowing it, despite all the facts staring him in the face, when Crowley had saved the lives of Job's goats and Job's children, it somehow led Aziraphale to the conclusion that the demon is still on Heaven's side. It really couldn't have been any plainer how skewed the angel's perception is because such deduction had never been more of a stretch than it was in that particular instance.

I believe there are two assumptions that Aziraphale clings to that cloud his judgment so much.

The first is something that many people in the fandom have pointed out already - Aziraphale conflates and confuses goodness, Heaven, and God. It's not a perfect equivalence, obviously, but the distinction is muddled.

The second assumption is that there are two opposite camps and everything that exists belongs to either one or the other. Yes, Aziraphale's thinking is extremely binary, and we should never forget about it. Sometimes it isn't just about good and evil for him; sometimes it's simply the inability to imagine third space.

When Aziraphale claims Crowley is a little bit on Heaven's side, we can see both assumptions at work.

#1: Crowley must be a little on Heaven's side because he had done something unquestionably good - he saved Job's goats and children - and being and doing good makes you affiliated with Heaven by default.

#2: Crowley must be a little on Heaven's side because he didn't do what Hell wanted - kill Job's goats and children - and opposing Hell is the same as endorsing Heaven.

The latter is also evident in Aziraphale's reaction to Crowley's denial - he points out Crowley is not on Hell's side as if it proved anything because in his mind it does - and confusion when Crowley tells him where he sees himself standing.

It doesn't help to see flaws in that logic that most of the time Aziraphale applies it to Crowley but not to himself. We may scoff at it but I actually find it understandable. Not logical, obviously, but easy to empathize with. Thinking that Crowley is still good and belongs with Heaven in some way is hardly a troubling thought. But contemplating the analogical idea that if Aziraphale himself doesn't do what Heaven wants then he might belong with Hell is downright terrifying.

It does come up at the end of the basement scene.

Crowley draws Aziraphale's attention to what the angel was avoiding - that God wanted Crowley to "whack the kids". Crowley wasn't defying Hell any more than Aziraphale was defying Heaven. When Aziraphale hesitates, seeing how perhaps doing what God wants and doing the right thing might not be the exact same thing here, Crowley points out this is how it started for him. That's exactly how you depart from Heaven, and if you depart from Heaven you end up in Hell.

We can see how it starts dawning on Aziraphale, and how he immediately pushes that extremely unpleasant thought away and goes back to his ox.

But he does face it in the end, in the heartwrenching finale of the episode. And what he's told? That nobody needs to know and nothing has to change. He is basically encouraged not to think about it. So he doesn't.

It's all too painful for either of them to discuss further so they leave it at that, allowing each other to fit what happened into their respective worldview, and make assumptions about each other.

There's much more in that scene but I'm going to bookmark it for a later date.

I hope to conclude part 1 in the next post. Wish me luck and inspiration!

[gaytoddhoward]

hi chat im thinking about how cotl having the lamb be. well . a sheep . was very much an intentional choice & how the goat being a goat is also very intentional i think. this is gonna sound insane & rambly if i just type it out so im gonna kinda just make bullet points.

(spoiler alert: i ran out of steam while typing and it ended up just being a bunch of rambling about these funky caprines & symbolism in christianity)

-the [sacrificial] lamb is executed & comes back to life (w enough time having passed for the bishops to leave the immediate area)

-they are literally functioning as gods vessel to spread his faith

-the lamb functions as the shepherd of their flock. jesus is known as the good shepherd & christianity as a flock . iirc . idk im not a christian

ok now this bit is probably mad innacurate bc again im not religious & i never have been, i basically just have this info from wikipedia delves but.

-jesus was the son of god but also like. was god . or an aspect of god anyways. god is like, split into three different parts & jesus was like the incarnation of one of those parts ig?

-pls keep in mind that jesus is symbolically linked w sheep/is the sacrificial lamb of god

- the devil has a few different interpretations/origin stories from my understanding but i think in christianity the accepted take is that hes a fallen angel ? so . would be of god , or like . Was anyways .

-satan/the devil has been associated w (black) goats at least since the middle ages

also

idk i lost my train of thought idk what point i was even going for . i just think the religious parallels r so so cool & its nuts to me that i dont see people talk about it idk . i think the species choices were definitely very very intentional & not just like. little fluffy main character in cult game funny :) alternate universe version of sheep = goat :) idk does anyone see my vision am i cooking do i at least have ingredients here or am i reaching

[snek-eyes]

Hello! I'm the anon who sent the two meta messages, I love your take on the matter and I'd love to hear what you have to say about the second message with Azi vs Sitis.

I think Crowley doesn't treat people any different than he treats Azi, but I think the difference is once he knows the angel can be trusted he lets himself get attached to him. Crowley is linely and human lives are fleeting so being attached only causes hurt but with Aziraphale, someone who's immortal and part of his "species" he lets himself get attached and I think that's the difference 🤔

Hey there Anon, welcome back! I definitely want to follow that up, so let's go!

the cool, rather uncaring demeanour Crowley has with Sitis is the same he first has with Aziraphale when he “kills” the goats and when he tells him he longs to destroy Job’s blameless children. Until he realizes Aziraphale isn’t on Heaven’s side with this.

The reason why I say that Crowley's cool attitude with Sitis and Job is different from how he acts with Aziraphale is for two reasons:

First of all his overall attitude with the humans, he's sort of pitying them. They're seeing this side of God for the first time; Crowley may not be all that gentle about trying to open their eyes, but he's not as in-your-face about it; it's not actually his goal here. With Aziraphale, Crowley's comments feel more pointed. The last time they saw each other was at the flood, and Crowley's still not happy about that.

(gifs by me)

More to the point I'm about to make, how Crowley acts with Aziraphale is all in direct response to what Aziraphale has just said about Crowley in each scene. Job and Sitis don't emotionally unsettle Crowley, he isn't reacting to that. With Aziraphale, Crowley is specifically trying to get under the angel's skin... Because Aziraphale got under his.

Crowley's goal in the scene with Sitis and Job starts and ends as getting them to tell him where the kids are so he can get the job done.

Crowley's goal in the scenes with Aziraphale becomes provoking Aziraphale.

I'm going to lay out the scenes with some color coding under the cut.

I'll explain what the colors mean afterwards. Lifted from flameraven's transcripts, with slight edits.

AZIRAPHALE: Stay your hand, Demon! Despised tool of Satan, in the name of Almighty God! Avaunt! Oh… It's you! Dear me. Haven't seen you since… the flood?

CRAWLEY: Ah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

AZIRAPHALE: Well, sorry about this.

CRAWLEY: No, of course.

AZIRAPHALE: [sighs] Oh God. Where was I?

CRAWLEY: "Avaunt".

AZIRAPHALE: Yes, yes. Avaunt, foul demon! In the name of the Almighty, I command thee, BEGONE!

CRAWLEY: No.

AZIRAPHALE: No?

CRAWLEY: No, thank you? See, I have a permit.

AZIRAPHALE: A permit? From whom?

CRAWLEY: From God.

AZIRAPHALE: Oh… You see, it's not that I mind jokes.

CRAWLEY: Oh no, no, no, no, no. No, no jokes. These goats belong to Job, right?

AZIRAPHALE: Yes, Job. Who is, I might add, a particular favorite of God, so…

CRAWLEY: [unrolls a comically long scroll] Shall I summarize? Satan and his diabolical ministers [waves and smiles] may destroy everything Job owns, no questions asked. Hugs and kisses, God.

AZIRAPHALE: No! This can't be real! Job is a… good and… righteous man. I mean, he really is an absolute poppet.

CRAWLEY: Well, I am a demon. Maybe I'm lying. Tell you what, let's find out. [blasts all the goats with fireballs] Seems legit to me!

__________

AZIRAPHALE: Crawley... You don't have to destroy Job's children.

CRAWLEY: Last time we met you seemed pretty confident I couldn't destroy Job's goats.

AZIRAPHALE: Yes, I was wrong. Technically you can, but--

CRAWLEY: Oh, then technically I will.

AZIRAPHALE: But you don't have to! That's the point. Surely the great thing about being a demon is you can do whatever you want.

CRAWLEY: Mm, you sound jealous, angel.

AZIRAPHALE: Certainly not. I get to do what God wants.

CRAWLEY: Like killing innocent children to win a bet with Satan?

AZIRAPHALE: I… I don't think… that is what God wants.

CRAWLEY: Well…

AZIRAPHALE: And I don't think you want it either.

CRAWLEY: What do you know about what I want?

AZIRAPHALE: I know you.

CRAWLEY: You do not know me.

AZIRAPHALE: I know the angel you were.

CRAWLEY: The angel you knew is not me.

AZIRAPHALE: Then… Then you tell me that you want to do this. You look me in the eye and tell me.

CRAWLEY: [takes off glasses] I want to. I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job, just as I destroyed his blameless goats.

AZIRAPHALE: Then God forgive you.

CRAWLEY: [watches the angel walk away]

__________

AZIRAPHALE: I bring a WARNING! Satan has sent a demon to destroy you! Tonight!

ENNON: Don't be silly. He wouldn't dare.

CRAWLEY: I'm sorry, Satan? Satan wouldn't dare?

...

JEMIMAH: [to Crawley] You're a funny looking angel.

CRAWLEY: Aren't I just? [winks]

JEMIMAH: Are you a demon?

CRAWLEY: Oh, she's good.

AZIRAPHALE: Ah… Yes. He is, in fact, technically a demon...

CRAWLEY: Spot on! [in an over-the-top demonic monster voice] Sent here to destroy you all! Ready? [sets the room on fire]

AZIRAPHALE: But… you said you wouldn't!

CRAWLEY: I'm a demon! I lied!

KEZIAH: Can't you save us?

AZIRAPHALE: I'm afraid not. He has a permit, you see. But… be not afraid. You're perfectly safe.

CRAWLEY: [throws more fire] Are you sure, Angel?

AZIRAPHALE: Yes. Quite sure.

_____

You've probably caught on by now, but here are the colors:

Red: Aziraphale's "demons are evil tools of Satan's will" rhetoric

Green: Aziraphale's disconnect that Crowley is somehow Good anyway

Blue: Aziraphale's "God is right and just" rhetoric

Pink: Crowley's "I'm an evil demon" schtick

Purple: Crowley's reminders of God's actions

Orange: Actual Crowley. Not really on Hell's side, definitely not on Heaven's. (And, actually rather lonely, and would, deep down, like it if someone actually knew him.)

The angel is acting friendly and supposedly putting a lot of trust in Crowley, but Crowley doesn't trust it. Notice all the "technically"s.

The pattern becomes most obvious by the third time. Crowley puts on his big show as a direct response to Aziraphale's own:

and cuts him off with it right after he tries to "technically" him out of being a demon again.

So Crowley pulls out all the stops. No technicalities about it angel, no pretending. You're going to look me in the eye this time and acknowledge that I'm a demon. What will you do then?

Remember this is (as far as we've seen) the second time that Crowley's called him "angel." It's not the nickname it'll become yet; he's goading him with the title, putting a separation between them by not calling him Aziraphale like he did at the flood. It's as much a reminder as it was with "You sound jealous, angel." You, an angel, are really going to trust a demon?

But Aziraphale looks him in the eye at his demonic worst, and doesn't flinch. Maybe the angel's not ready to be on Crowley's side against God, but here in the moment it counts, Aziraphale will put his trust in this demon.

And Crowley accepts that. Accepts Aziraphale where he is.

I just connected the dots on this conclusion as I got here (which is part of what makes writing meta so fun to me). But: I believe for Crowley, these three flashbacks are about getting Aziraphale to accept the shades of grey between their respective "sides." And this moment is the first time Aziraphale does so decisively.

[demvalhaken]

I want coffee. (Art for you :D

*Insert funny thing here to keep your attention and hypnotise you into ignoring the anatomy*

THE COLOUR PALETTE ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!!!

Okay everything past this point is literally just me talking about this shit

Greed demons originally had green eyes and not yellow ones. Idk but the yellow colour slays girl! It left no crumbs and cleaned the entire table! Butttttt…. There’s a sub-ring (Ring inside a ring) in the Greed Ring… LET ME COOK FOR A SECOND.

The Sub-Ring is basically just the Land of Gold as seen in Dante’s Inferno (Which inspires some rings). It’s a giant lake in the ring that has its own kind of ecosystem and society and stuff… So what if I just keep the green eyes and say “FUCK IT SHES PART GOLD THING!” Actually I think I’ll do that-

Let me just say, all marking on Greed demons are just poker symbols and stuff like that. Their tail tips will probably stay consistently either diamonds or hearts. Do you wanna know why Ace is named Ace? ACE OF SPADES BABYYYYYYY!!! Her lore is basically, you get born with luck curse, use it to win hundreds of casino winnings, get rich, get banned, get sad, be overprotective with sister. It’s been like that since 2023, don’t judge.

The rings of Hell aren’t really fully developed yet, they’re pretty underdeveloped like Limbo… I ignore that poor ring so much because I honestly don’t care about it. Plus I need to figure out sinners, AND I NEED A PROPER DESIGN FOR LUCIFER, SATAN, BEELZEBUB, MAMMON, ASMODEUS, LEVIATHAN, AND BELPHEGOR!!! AGHHHHHH!!! I’m literally just gonna make Satan fatherly goat man because that’s how he seems tbh

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DEVELOP AND ITS LITERALLY BEEN A YEAR OR TWO SINCE THIS STARTED!!! Also I literally don’t know which sin to draw first

Me talking for two paragraphs because I’m deranged :D

Is it just me or am I kinda dreading school, how am I gonna post frequently?! At least everyone sees me as a chill background character, so I probably won’t be bullied. Maybe I might be bullied for my outrageous body hair as a woman, idk I’ve never shaved except once like two years ago and I absolutely fucking hated it.

Completely unrelated rambles: you could probably tell but I am an avid fan of Vivzie’s works. Verosika deserved better tbh, she’s like my favourite character, go girl!!! I might sound crazy, but she’s not really a villain for me. Also people are getting mad at Vivzie’s tribute in the new Weird Al vid? I mean, I understand the hate… but I FIND IT FUCKING HILARIOUS THAT IT’S LITERALLY THE ALASTOR BASE MEME. I sound delusional, that’s fine I guess.

Oh yeah, here’s Ace’s original atrocious design. She ain’t got no lips and she got a receding hairline! Devious ahh smile 😭

Edit: WEVE OFFICIALLY REACHED 80 POSTS, LETS GO. I guess?

Edit 2: Dem fell off… fell off a cliff!!! Please don’t bully Dem

[nopenototdaysatan]

Me just over here wondering to myself I wonder what would happen if my lalafell warrior of light met the links from Linked universe....

Chaos insued:

First thought on my mind is size. My "this is the tallest I can make for his race" lalafell is probably four size. I can only wonder at them seeing someone older than four who is still four's size. It would really put into perspective his shortness.

Second thought: If my wol dance partnered four and then four used the four sword to split, what would happen? I've determined that that 2 minute buff window would become more like an 8 minute buff window. But also what if the dance partner attribute almost keeps four from splitting as if the ability doesn't want to have more than one user and will keep you from that to the best of it's ability.

Third thought: Time and legend looking at the dark Knight lore as if the dark Knight power source makes the most sense and in some way they want it.

Fourth thought: Everyone freaks out when Scholar!wol summons Eos or Selene. You cannot tell me that all of them wouldn't be somewhat concerned by a fairy appearing out of nowhere from someone not of their world. They then become very concerned when it's revealed where we place our fairies in battle. (Death comes to any who place a fairy under the boss while with the chain)

Fifth thought: Hyrule and a wol vibing together from having friends who were "sleeping" for hundreds of years.

Sixth thought: wild and the wol vibing over exploring new places.

Seventh thought: I wonder what would happen if you just let the chain fuck around with your soul crystals(changes your job in FFXIV).

Addendum kinda wanna give fun and interesting classes to them all. This is less about their abilities and more about the chain having fun.

Legend- Red mage: legend should absolutely be given the right to both sword and magic. He would also look perfect in the red mage's armor.

On the other hand a black mage who refuses to use thunder is hilarious. Everyone else in a dungeon gets pissed off legend won't use his dot.

Hyrule: Blue mage- Chaos time! Let Hyrule both heal and cause massive damage. Also, why wouldn't I give him the job that requires you to learn spells from monsters. It's probably where he learned most of his skills from.

Twilight: monk- kinda boring but his fists are rated teen for violence. Beast master: we don't have this job yet but it is coming so that could be my second option. Would friend every animal and then be confused when they have violence in their eyes when anything tries to attack him.

Time: Dark knight: this man would absolutely use his trauma to become better at saving people. Am I wrong????

Warriors: Paladin- but let's make it fun and make him self sacrifice by having him always use cover (takes 100% of damage from a chosen party member) on his party members...even when they are already using their own shields.

Sky: Warrior- I never wanna see this man pissed off. On a more vibe aspect: Bard- just let him play his harp till the enemies stop coming.

Wind: Ninja- shut up, I know he's pirate themed and I should give him a gun but who else but wind could have a bunny of "you missed up your mudras" and make that look cool. Plus I wanna let him go fast.( Ninja's have the highest speed.)

Wild: Blue mage: Again, the monsters taught him how to fight after waking up again. Second option: Gunbreaker- fusing. Enough said. (Gunbreaker also has the highest damage ceiling of all tanks. Of course I'm giving one of the best dpsing tanks to the link who takes on lynels for fun.)

Four: machinist- no one else fits the machinist's goal of creating new and better weaponry than four. All of the different mechanisms you use to fight as a machinist just fit fours need to build and create.

Addendum for colors:

Green: viper- wanted to give him a sword plus it looks fairly swooshy from the trailer (secondary option dragoon: let my second wimdy boi fly with those jumps)

Red: black mage- fire only. Everyone keeps telling him to use ice but he refuses especially when playing with blue. Second option: Pictomancy! - let red draw his way to victory.

Blue: Warrior- he deserves to have a big axe and this way he can use his anger to help bolster his damage.

Vio: Bard- but not your stereotypical bard no, Vio is singing or reciting old takes of wars and myths. He'll use all the darkest old tales to win a fight.

(Shadow[I just wanna give him a pretty weapon.]: Dark knight: emotionally he fits it very well but Reaper: a play style that has the coolest movement ability and lots of cool effects. He likes acting like he's actually death coming for people.

Kinda wanna do all the Zelda's......)

Either thought: if the chain played FFXIV what would happen? Legend would get every class as soon as he could and then level them all to Max first. He's also on the grind to get every single achievement. May his soul rest in peace.

Sky would spend so much time crafting. Main quest? No. Side quest? No. Carpentry class quest? Yes. (He also is one of those players who stands in one of the city states and plays music for others.)

Time and twilight have their fishing class at mat lvl and regularly do ocean fishing to relax.

Wild does ultimates for fun. He also has the best glams (don't tell wars) out of the chain.

Hyrule has all of the sight seeing locations done for every expansion. He likes to go and get lost in the new locations of every expansion. It takes him at least a week longer than everyone else to finish the main content due to this.

Four: most recent crafting recipes and island sanctuary (he's here to make cool shit and relax) I could see him also enjoying the tribal quests as well.

Warrior: the most mentor to mentor out of all mentors. He does the mentor roulette for fun the poor bastard.

Wind: rps with his friends. They have a rp going on in Limsa about a land flooded by the gods.

(I think that's all of my FFXIV x Linked universe hyperfixation, for now at least. CX

[heyimdove]

It’s been about a month since I finished Drinking Buddies and Diaries, so I have a quick story about writing it and how COOL fanfic readers are:

I don’t live in the UK, only been there once, and my short stint in London happened to coincide with a terrorist attack about a block from where I was, so my memories of it are tinted a bit off. When I think of London now, I mostly associate it with tons of low-flying helicopters (also one fantastic leek soup)((and public toilets that cost money))(((and a ferret on a leash I saw at St. James Park))).

So all the places referenced are almost entirely googled. And I spent FOREVER looking through various pubs near Soho/St. James Park/Berkeley Square before finally deciding to use the Goat Tavern (mainly because the big golden goat that stares down at you from the road). It just so happened that the pub had a controversial history and some neat secret underground tunnels- basically the kind of place I could see demons hanging around. Goats are so often associated with satanic stuff thanks to Ol’ Baphomet, so it really seemed to fit perfectly in a never-been-there-but-I-hope-this-works kind of way.

Well, actually, it turns out there are TWO Goat Taverns. Not far from each other. One has a golden goat, the other has a goat stonework thingy. The one without the golden goat had the murderer and tunnels, I think? Regardless, wtf London? Couldn’t one of you have been The Ram? The Alpaca? Some other even-toed ungulate?

Anyway, it’s too late to change it now, so Muriel and Crowley go to the Goat Tavern, meaning they go to both at once, meaning it’s one fucking pub in my fic, two pubs just mushed into one.

Despite this confusing development, a reader (egana) decided to make the trip over to the Goat Tavern (the Mayfair one). They said:

“I… shall be paying a pilgrimage to The Goat Tavern in honour of this fic later this week”

Obviously that was an extremely cool thing to say and I begged them to tell me what it’s like. It turns out they actually went!:

I have been smiling all day at this because it really makes the time I spent digitally trekking through all these little pubs and eateries to find the right one for Crowley to take Muriel to, when he couldn’t bring himself to dine at The Ritz with anyone but Aziraphale, entirely worth it. It sounds more angelic than I intended but I actually love that, because now it’s more believable that angels would enter it at all, despite that freaky staring goat.

Like bro are u kidding me

Anyway, fanfic readers constantly make me feel the warmest feelings towards the world and I love you all. I love that egana would take the trip out and even bother to follow up. The people I’ve been able to interact with since posting are just lovely. I was so afraid to share my writing with the world. As it turns out, the world is actually very, very nice.

Someone let me know recently that DB&D is the most-kudoed post-S2 fic (or was when she told me anyway, it might not be anymore), and that is so mind-blowing and heartening. I’ve been working on some personal novels lately, and it’s all thanks to the support and kindness from fic readers. So if you’re here because you read DB&D, you should know that you have helped resuscitate me. Thank you. If I ever get published, I’m dedicating my first novel to you!

And if I ever do get published, we can all take comfort in the fact that I would have an editor who will stop me from combining two real places into one. I still can’t get over that TWO GOAT TAVERNS exist on opposite sides of one fucking park

[threebooksoneplot]

love this podcast so much! this is probably a bit of a nuts ask but i just wanted to let you guys know that you've genuinely helped me in real life- I was approached by two Mormon missionaries today (i live in the UK so it was Unexpected to say the least) and for the entirety of the conversation I was remembering how you mentioned on one of your episodes (99% sure it was you guys) about how being on missionary is most Mormons' first experience of the wider world so you should do your best to be polite etc. all the context you gave genuinely helped me navigate the conversation so much lmao, you guys are entertaining AND educational 10/10

oh wow!! daaaamn, good for you!

and yeah, that sounds like something we would say. I (G) can't seem to dig up receipts right now but the tl;dr is that oftentimes, door-to-door evangelism of the kind mormon missionaries and jehovah's witnesses engage in is less effective at converting people, but highly effective at reinforcing to the group's members that all outsiders are Cruel And Sinful and therefore you should never leave The Church because that's where the only good and kind people are.

but also, like, 90% of the time the reason I (G) try to be kind to mormon missionaries is because they're like 20 and have never been allowed the simple joy of a macchiato (but must try to fill that void with vile concoctions of dr pepper, gummy worms, and half 'n half, apparently.)

also, let the record show that "being kind" does not mean showing any interest whatsoever in converting to mormonism, or leading them on to that effect! but it costs $0 to wish them a nice day and be a shining example of how wearing spaghetti straps does not in fact lead to sacrificing live goats to satan.

anyway. we're proud of you, anon! glad you like the ole podcast 🤠

—G

yeah this is awesome to hear!! and even to add onto this, that sort of advice is pretty good to utilize just in general when talking to people from these ultra-conservative, super-sheltered (and yes, usually religious) upbringings. like G said, you don't need to lie to them and make them believe that "oh yeah totally i'm absolutely going to see you this sunday and I sure will consider changing the entirety of my belief system/morals!" but, yknow, just be kind. it's good to do even for Normal Regular people you see on the street. but this isn't sesame street so I won't start that brand of schoolyard lecture.

semi-related, but a little tangential: my super-strict catholic high school used to invite mormon missionaries to come and 'speak with' specific religious classes (usually the TrulyCatholic bitches took these) every year. and every year we heard about how "lol the ridiculous mormons keep coming and being nice to us to try and talk about their religion as if we're EVER going to change our minds and believe in their FAKE and WRONG version of christianity?? isn't it so stupid that they're so patient and kind to us even as sister catherine anne stands back and lets us bully—I mean, debate these guys? anyways I wonder when the morons—I mean, mormons, will stop coming back. 😌💅"

and to this day I still think about those guys! because I never understood their willingness to come back every year, and I could not fathom why they were consistently so nice. learning more about mormonism through this podcast has really helped my ex-catholic ass look at the outside world and be like "oh, we were the assholes. I mean, I knew that already, but shit." and tbh i'm sure they honestly loved coming to my school, because nothing will solidify your own stance/opinion on a group of 'outsiders' than a mob of privileged ravenous catholic teenagers. anyways, let that be a refrain for you on your new day-to-day: don't be like the catholics, be kind. amen 🙏

—shannon

[vanana-r0tat3]

another post because i have illness of the brain BATIM/BATDR characters and songs that remind me of them!! theres ah. quite a lot oops.. idk if some of these are ooc but idc 🕺

here's a playlist if youd like to listen to all the songs in the order ive listed

Joey Drew: The Main Character - Will Wood Mr. Big Shot - Anarbor Ruler of Everything - Tally Hall Fear & Delight - The Correspondents (go watch the music video btw its like a baby sensory video for people with autism /hj) What I Want - The Living Tombstone Dead Inside - Younger Hunger Art is Dead - Bo Burnham Sin Triangle - Sidney Gish Young Stars - The Struts Ghost - Nelward Everybody Likes You - Lemon Demon Season 2 Episode 3 - Glass Animals Pools - Glass Animals Money On My Mind - UPSAHL Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother Jesus Don't Like That I'm Gay but Satans Cool With it - Lil Boodang

Other characters below the cut :)

Henry Stein: Rules - The Hoosiers Community Gardens - The Scary Jokes All the Dying - Mother Mother Make the Grade - Jack Conte Black Swan - The Struts Stress - UPSAHL Clockwork - Palaye Royale Don't Panic - Coldplay Nightmare - Set It Off Frying Pan - Mother Mother

Sammy Lawrence: Homunculus - Trickle God's Whisper - Raury Your body, My temple - Will Wood Touch Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon SPLIT! - Jhariah This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller UP TO SNUFF! (I'm On Fire) - atsuover People I Don't Like - UPSAHL What Good Am I - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Hospital - The Used phony - kafu (Will Stetson Cover) (my bf suggested this one!)

Audrey: Could Have Been Me - The Struts Mr. Maker - Crimson Apple Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - MARINA Imposter Syndrome - Sidney Gish

The Ink Demon: still feel. - half•alive Cabinet man - Lemon Demon It's All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals Punching Bag - Palaye Royale Gestapo - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Terrible Ride - The Queenstons Boogieman - Sock.clip (YES I KNOW THIS IS AN FNF SONG FIGHT ME) Monster - Bassetfilms (yes yes another fnf song LISTEN lemon demon/monster fits for the ink demon leave me alone im right) What You Do - The Queenstons Bad Blood - Creature Feature Inside of You, In Spite of You - ThouShaltNot

Buddy Lewek: Soda - Nothing But Thieves No Love in LA - Palaye Royale Radio - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin Why Worry - Set It Off Fine, Great - ModernBaseball

Malice/Twisted Alice: Snuff Out the Light - Eartha Kitt Miss Baltimore Crabs - Hairspray OST Kill Your Darling - Cloudy June

Henry & Joey: You're All Scotch No Soda - Sarah and the Safe Word Lost Kitten - Metric The Ol' Switcheroo - The Struts I Know You Better Than That - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Sick On Seventh Street - Sarah and the Safe Word You'll Be Gone - Yonkagor Pork Soda - Glass Animals One Big Beautiful Sound - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Fallacy - Yonkagor Your Love (Déjà Vu) - Glass Animals Skeleton Song - Kate Nash Oleander - Mother Mother Drink - Destroy Boys No Children - The Maintain Goats

[marithlizard]

Helluva Boss s2e4: thoughts while watching

People who do full actual liveblogging with screenshots have my great respect, this took forever!

The official description for this episode is "Striker exists and things sure do happen".   Amazingly, it does _not_ set a record for vagueness.

- Pfft that restaurant.  "Where the poor pour for you!"   And I'm willing to bet it has never occurred to Stolas that Blitzo is very aware he belongs on the pouring side and has opinions about that.

- OMG the poor tiny imp holding up a coffee pot bigger than he is.  New theory:  the staff at places like this often sell the the juicy tidbits of information they pick up from wealthy demons who think of them as furniture.  Perhaps Stolas' butler does too and that's why he was at Ozzies.  ...Spymaster butler, now that's going in a future fic somewhere.

- "C U next Tuesday"?  Is the subtitle reading off a text message we can't see?  Maybe from Blitzo?  (TY those who told me afterwards it’s an attempt to discreetly subtitle a cut line.)

- DEAL AT OZZIES  we were right! we were all right!

- Bombproof riding down the street.  Coffeepot imp,  you can see him coming, get out of the way.

- "Stop making this harder to bullshit"  I was not expecting to like Andrealphus at all, but I have to appreciate the way he is so obviously done with his sister's lack of impulse control.

- Hey, that lady is part succubus and part shark demon. I think? 

- Stella was not at all concerned that bullet would hit her, even though it came within inches.  Meaning those pistols aren't angelic.

- Nice quick reflexes from Stolas. Goodness, that bullet went through his hat.  

- that lady has an imp in her purse!  Imps have a much wider size range than I thought. Either that or Goetia magically shrink them for convenience. Hell would be an accessibility nightmare for someone that small...

- The barista seems to be a different type of demon, sort of goat-ish?

- Hey, that's a wanted poster of Striker

- Blitzo’s ringtone is now 500% more subtle than it was in Murder Family. He does learn.

- Huh. Loona looks scared and M&M look worried, and it has nothing to do with the incoming phone call. Are the theories about Loona being sick right?

- "I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again Blitzy"   So Blitzo has been avoiding Stolas since Ozzie’s. I wondered, since in Seeing Stars we saw a calendar with a question mark on their meeting day.

- ooohhhhh Loona is terrified of shots.  Interesting that M&M are coming along, given the hostile relationship between Moxxie and Loona.  He’s not mocking her and she’s so scared she doesn’t even care about him witnessing her humiliation.  Blitzo is probably making everyone behave through sheer boss willpower.

- He's in mortal peril and you don't even seem slightly worried and you're not going to come save him?  I think we fans may have been overestimating Blitzo's feelings for Stolas, at least the conscious ones. 

- I mean, not that Stolas’ perky  "I think you should come save me" isn't full of tonedeaf assumptions itself.

- It took 5 years to get an appointment for this?  Okay, that says two things. Hell's healthcare system is as bad as I thought, and Blitzo has been trying to get Loona this shot since the day they met.

- She's been doing a lot of field work? I guess we have seen her on Earth 3 times so far, and there may have been more.

- "Oh shit. Am I in danger right now?"  STOLAS FOR FUCK'S SAKE

- Okay, now Blitzo is properly alarmed. And he starts to ditch the vital health appointment without hesitation.  And he's appropriately concerned for M&M, too.  Good job.

- Moxxie really does sound just like his dad sometimes.

- St Ans. Is the name a play on Satan, even though Satan rules the Wrath ring and this is Sloth?  

- Motel 666 keychain,  horseshoe and a key with a heart.  Blitzo probably does one night stands at that motel.

- Now what are those roundish gray demons?  They don't look like any type we've seen before. (ETA: They’re from Envy, someone said?)

- Notice on bulletin board:  "In search of kidney, I need your help, not a scam, call Chuck".  

- I like the plant with its closed eyes and exaggerated long eyelashes.  A big theme for Sloth, evidently, given the similar eyes decorating the building everywhere.

- Sign on wall:  Soothing sleep, sounds and light - Appointment status FULL - purchase at our gift shop. Wonder what that is.

- No cameras sign, but what's the other one prohibiting? Looks like a vial of potion?  (TY those who said holy water. I’m not sure why anyone would have that in Hell, yikes.)

- AHAHAHA fourth wall acknowledgement that people really hated the slur in the pilot.  (When I was a kid that word was hurled all over the playground right along with “gay” and “faggot” and “slut” and “moron” and others.  It’s always been an insult but I had no idea it was now considered so horrible as to be unspeakable even in the midst of the whole breathtakingly WTF inappropriate profanity of the pilot, while other words are still used or even reclaimed. Attitudes and norms change over time and language is more fluid than people tend to realize.)

- Wow, Blitzo in the process of drawing on the nurse when he realizes there's a witness looking very pointedly at him.

- Oh, poor Loona....all her bristly fuck-you energy is gone. She actually looks slightly reassured by his cosseting!   (I have a feeling it's going to turn out to be a horrible giant painful thing though, no matter what he assures her.)

- Striker has a fan group literally singing his praises who were waiting for him to pass by.  I feel I should not be surprised.

- Wait how literally are we supposed to take this? They know the plan.  Okay no this is some real Monty Python energy and I love it (Sir Robin’s bards, anyone?) and it should make clear to all that some things about this show are in Silly Logic territory. Which has been part of the core concept since the start, but I sometimes forget when the relationships and emotions are so real.

- He has a lair. and a statue of himself.  We knew he was an egotistical git but it makes him seem less cool to know he puts so much deliberate effort into his coolness.

- Ahahaha no it's NOT deliberate, he doesn’t want the fan singers, and that makes it even better.

- And Stolas is a bit intrigued by the theme song, you can't tell me he's not

- ...Welp, time to walk back all those reassurances to reactors that I.M.P doesn't really kill kids and that was just a pilot thing.  Yikes Blitzo. Would he really have pulled the trigger, I wonder?

- "SAME HAT"  why do I feel like this is referencing the tumblr meme

-  They're tiny now!  Maybe size changing magic is a thing some imps can have, sure, let’s go with that. 

- Moxxie taking out three demons more than twice his size in the background, in feral melee style just like his wife.  And matter-of-factly pumping gas while doing it, that’s SO badass.

- That is a Blitzo drawing Millie is showing off, dyslexic R and the distinctive style. Blitzo had a doodle of Striker in the car.  He probably keeps a sketchbook there? I’d love to flip through it, that’d make a great comic/animatic. 

- "Very outlaw aeshetic"

- "Wouldn't a holy bullet have sufficed? Or could you not afford those?"  I knew this would be addressed.

- "Is the giant statue of yourself also a classic, or..."   Salty Stolas is the best. Is it just me, or has he picked up a very Blitzo style of trash talk?

- I mean Striker isn't wrong, here, and in another situation I'd be on his side.

- RESPECT.  Stolas just took just another angelic stab wound without even flinching and handed back snark in equal measure.

-  I wonder if he's telling the truth and their S&M play is that vicious. The bear traps thing suggests Stolas likes serious pain, but I didn't get an angry contemptuous vibe from their interactions in Truth Seekers or Harvest Moon.  Fond, if anything.

- The hut-sized Fortress of Solitude look of Andrealphus' place is kind of silly, but I do really like the icy feathers.

- So Andrealphus wasn't in on the Striker thing. And he doesn't seem at all concerned about Stella losing all her status and wealth.  These two may be close but it's not the genuine family love we see between our protagonists.

- So Stolas does have legions? I still cannot picture him as any kind of war leader, as fierce as he can be when provoked. Must know more.

- "A Goetia's never behaved like this before" - interesting.   Probably not true and past indiscretions have been hushed up, but Andrealphus seems to believe it, which means not many and very well hushed up.

- "Eternity is a a long time"  - so Goetia do live forever?  That's very unfortunate for Stolitz. :(   Don’t like that idea at all. It also means that unless we're handwaving all practical considerations - which we might be -  something is weird about the Goetia. Why does Paimon have so many kids if they won't age and die naturally?  Are there tons of ancient birds cluttering up the place that we haven’t seen?  Or do they get winnowed out somehow? - Am I getting a Folger’s Crystals vibe here?  That wouldn't bother me (seriously, Game of Thrones had that going on and everybody but me was all over that show when it was airing, even the non-geeks, nobody batted an eye)  but it would be a suprising choice when the creators know how hypercritical the fanbase is.

- Ooh, thank goodness for cartoon logic or that van would be totaled.

- Oh my god Striker is tapping his foot to the beat.  He's into this fight. What a relief for him after dealing with Stolas and Stella who both refuse to stay on script.

- And he's so annoyed when the music changes to pop (with similar lyrics - is it the same song?) 

-  Moxxie taking a cue from Angel there. 

- I like the plague doctor masks on the EMTs.

- "He can get hurt?" Oh. Oh, hon.  You never thought he was actually in danger.  Not even after the Harvest Moon festival?  Did you not tell Stolas about that attempt because you downplayed it in your own mind to make yourself feel better?

-  the texts.  the texts.  Oh my GOD.  oh, sweetie, Stolas, oh.  He’s trying so hard and he is SO clueless. “come over and say mean things to me, haha, I always enjoy that...”   Flailing desperately to put a light positive spin on the situation, like he’s been doing his entire life.  But this time he doesn’t know what Blitzo wants to hear and his “lead with joy” style is not suited to the situation.

- This makes me feel better about Seeing Stars. There’s the missing context for their seemingly-effortless pretense that nothing is wrong in that episode. They already did the awkwardness over text.

- The whole ending sequence is heartwrenching, but not unexpected.  Next episode I hope we see the meeting with Ozzie to deal for the crystals, and perhaps some conversation about what it’s like to have a forbidden relationship.  Will Fizzarolli reveal a bit of why he hates Blitzo so, and tell Stolas he’s better off without him?

- Who are the flowers from, I wonder? Not Via’s style.

[gabethesquid]

My favorite albums of 2022 (Part 1)

2022 was a year of changes for me. I graduated High School in the spring, and went to college (SUNY Purchase) in the fall, meeting tons new people and discovering myself.

There was a ton of great music to go along with it it too.

Blackbraid - Blackbraid I

U.S.

August 26, 2022

Blistering Atmospheric Black Metal with a theme of Indigenous Peoples who live in the Adirondacks. The riffs are great and catchy, vocals understandable, interlude tracks are beautiful. Great musicianship.

Favorite Track - Barefoot Ghost Dance on the Blood Soaked Soil

Bloodywood - Rakshak

India

February 18, 2022

Indian Folk mixed with Nu-Metal. Tracks switch between angry protest tracks and tracks about mental heath. The folk influences set this band apart from most other Nu-Metal, and are so intertwined the band wouldn’t be the same without it.

Favorite Track - Chakh Le

Chat Pile - God’s Country

U.S.

July 29, 2022

Sludge metal with vocals that feel very deranged. A perfect soundtrack to this late capitalist hellscape, with great riffs, pounding drums, and amazing atmosphere.

Favorite Track - Why

Death Island - Aeons of Carnage

U.S.

October 12, 2022

Melodic Death Metal band from my area, formed at the college I go to. With a unique Blackened Death sound with lyrical themes taking from all over, the dual vocalists are fun to listen to. I’m excited to hear more.

Favorite Track - Wolves Are A Feasting

Froglord - Army of Frogs

U.K.

November 4, 2022

Gimmick sludge metal about a kaiju Frog? The best Froglord album ever with catchy hooks and a fun metaplot? Proceeds going to save the frogs? Count me in. A fun album. (Fun fact: Army is the noun used to describe a group of frogs in science)

Favorite Track - Army of Frogs

Kanonenfieber - Yankee Division

Germany

March 23, 2022

The follow up to 2021’s amazing debut, this EP kicks serious ass with heavier melodic songs. The late Trevor Strnard of The Black Dahlia Murder is featured, and it’s just great musicianship.

Favorite Track - The Yankee Division March

Kanonenfieber - Der Fusilier

Germany

November 19, 2022

The second EP of this year, this is a concept EP about a single German soldier, featuring one of Kanonenfieber’s saddest songs. This has solidified the band as more than just a one off success.

Favorite Track - Der Fusilier II

Lorna Shore - Pain Remains

U.S.

October 14, 2022

The first full-length featuring Will Ramos, he solidifies himself as the growling GOAT with emotional tunes and soaring choruses. The symphonic elements make this deathcore great. The breakdowns are brutal af.

Favorite Track - Sun//Eater

Non Est Deus - Impious

Germany

March 4,2022

From the guy behind Kanonenfieber, his first project’s third album is awesome, with catchy evil riffs and an anti-Christian theme. The cover art is amazing, and the music just as good. More traditional in it’s black metal, it’s still great musicianship.

Favorite Track - Hexenwahn

Sakis Tolis - Among the Fires of Hell

Greece

March 22, 2022

From the frontman of legendary Black Metal band Rotting Christ comes an emotional album about the soul through the lens of Satan. It sounds like 2000s Rotting Christ, but with a different message, and just as good atmosphere. My favorite track has also made me cry.

Favorite Track - The Dawn of a New Age