#sassy henry?

[lilliejareau]

henry: do dragons fart fire?

JJ: um…i don’t know…

henry: i thought you went to college.

[henryrussell63]

That’s the last time Toto lets me use the radio!

[solifelessblog]

The redraw saga (8/ ) "Killer wedding, man"

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Please reblog, don’t repost :)

[fictionadventurer]

St. John Henry Newman in the main text of Apologia Pro Vita Sua: I'm not going to address all of Mr. Kingsley's accusations. I'm just going to tell the full story of how my theological opinions developed over time, so I can refute the main charge that I was dishonest about my beliefs.

Newman in the appendix: I'm taking every one of those accusations and I am explaining in detail every single way he lacks reading comprehension. I am pulling quotes. I am keeping score.

[beth-purcell]

The Ink Demonth: Cage

"What do you want Joey? Haven't you taken enough?"

"Haha, I suppose that's a fair assessment, even despite your current situation, Old Friend..."

I want so badly for the Cage to be Henry and Joey's story, and while they're not the actual guys the entire crux of the series is supposed to be based on, this is the game to establish and show off how those two chuckleheads came to know each other, start a studio, and had their falling out together.

[howtotrainabraincell]

Head cannons bc I can - What kinds affectionate the different assassins would be - Part 2

Evie Frye - The Enduring Lover. Personal head cannon that she gives hand kisses whether it be the back of your hand or the palm, and she loves to hold hands while reading books. I see footsies being a thing too, like if you can't hold hands but you're sitting down to work with her you two are wrapped together at the legs under the table. She would be more serious about teaching self-defense genuinely wanting you to learn from it and be able to protect yourself, but there would be sweet smiles of encouragement and pride here and there, soft touches to correct your posture and stance, and a surprise kiss here and there. Speaking of surprise kisses... she will totally pin you down and smooch you. 100%. Brushing her hair will be routine because who can look at the gorgeous hair she has and not want to run their fingers through it, brush it, braid it, and style it? Her love will definitely be playing with her hair and doing her braids for her, and she loves it (especially if you give her head a little massage during lol). I see her adopting a cat specifically a wispy blue-eyed baby maine coon! Somewhere along the line maybe a dog - a small one for lap cuddles alongside a big intimidating one to protect you (she seems like the kind of woman to be into dogs that look like children of satan himself but are actual babies) such as a Belgian Malinois or a Doberman. Feel like she would feel a little better leaving you with a dog that is dedicated to protecting you (and do those dogs LOOOOVVEEE her bc she's Evie and all of the interesting smells she brings home). Flowers are a definite way in which Ms. Frye would woo her love. She brings many of them to you whether they have meaning or they're just beautiful. She carries pressed flowers from you inside a handkerchief (one that you made her as a token of your favor) hidden in her coat, resting just above her heart. The first thing she wants to do after kicking bahookie in Fight Club is find you and hug you tightly. It's for both of you really - her to let you know that she's safe and to receive comfort from your embrace, and you to check her over any injuries she has and fuss over her and how great she did in the ring (which she LOVES might I add). After a long day she'll want nothing more than to just plop right into your arms - and if she doesn't conk out first (poor thing) - she'' wrap her arms around your waist and rest her head against your stomach. I see her having a girlfriend that does her nails via filing them in a way so that they're sharp AF this helps her out (not that she needs it lol woman's a menace) against Templars, Blighters, and goons in Fight Club bc everything's allowed - she legit breaks bones for crying out loud so ofc she claws people's faces off too. Have a feeling that she has a secret sweet tooth so if you baked for her, you're going to get a kiss on the cheek as she munches away with a major blush coating her freckle speckled cheeks. She will box Jacob's ears if he tries to sneak off with some of the snacks you made her and tell me why I'm at.least 93% certain that she keeps some of the things you bake for her in a handkerchief in her coat. Would totally recommend books to you, share them and bring them to you so you two could have your own little book club together haha. She is a devoted lover and although shy when it comes to showing and verbally expressing her love, have no doubt that it's there. She loves you very much and hopes that despite the kind of life you two lead, you have many years together. Or if you choose not to be an assassin, she still hopes for the same just accompanied with a deep unspoken fear of her getting killed and leaving you alone. You two have the kind of bond where others are totally convinced that you'll both die on the same day. Rest assured that your love will be one that lasts throughout the ages.

Malik Al-Sayf - The Restrained Lover. Will drape his robe over you to keep you warm, he hates to see you uncomfortable (and this ties into why he doesn't show you public affection). I have a feeling that he's only affectionate in private due to societal norms at the time throughout the late 12th and early 13th century. Will escort you through the market and help you choose things (idk why but I have a feeling that Malik is the stand there behind you in the candle aisle and sniff candles with you boyfriend lol). He'll keep you close on his arm and help you with your basket (one of the first clues that you had about him liking you back was that his fingers would reach up and brush yours, lingering when he holds it in the crook of his arm). He would teach you how to draw maps efficiently and also how to work out the geography that revolves around creating one. He would stand behind you real close hovering over you as he holds your hand and helps you make your first map...and every map there after lol. A certain Novice he knows is only a little taller than him so he's up there in height, with this being known he will stand in front of you with your head tilted back and his forehead pressed against yours as he looks into your eyes muttering sweet things in Arabic. You should SEE HIS FACE when you get him gifts! If you bring him a loaf of fresh baked bread, some new incense, or pick up some extra papyrus for him to make maps he will get redder than a chili pepper. He kisses your forehead quite often caressing your hair which is something he often does as well. You two can sit there in complete silence before you feel his fingers taking up a lock of your hair and twirling it around his finger, without even looking up from what he's doing. When he leaves for missions and you two are in front of people, he doesn't touch you, but he stands before you and bids you farewell in Arabic wishing "Safety and Peace" upon you. However, if you two are alone he'll kiss your cheeks - as is common among assassins - lingering with his lips against your skin (which makes you blush, and he does it on purpose). Once he sees the blush he'll chuckle and look around quickly before taking your waist in his hands and kissing you properly. You made it a habit of being alone when he has to go off on missions so you two can have a proper goodbye. Altair immediately knows lol and teases him to the ninth realm and back, which make Malik try (and fail) to shove him off his horse lol. He does have issues reminding himself not to touch you in public and you two have almost been caught embracing, standing too close or with his arms around your waist, but assassin reflexes come in handy. Malik remains restrained for the majority of your relationship (save for in private ofc) but he kind of has to while Al Mualim is alive, as love is thought to make assassins weak. When Altair takes over and changes a lot of things it takes him a while to get used to it, but he's happy that he can finally show his love for you in public. When this is the case, he'll take to hugging you and kissing your hands and head and speaking lovingly to you in the open. I think this man would have a garden. I really do. I think he would grow flowers in that garden that reminds him of you and when they're ready he would bring them to you. When you two have to hide your relationship, he'll press the flowers in books he gives you to read. But after he'll stand there and decorate your hair with them. He would definitely teach you Arabic and you'll get a kick out of the cute little blush he has when you call him Habibi for the first time. More of a serious lover but he does make sure to show you the affection you deserve (which is a lot bc this man is quite handsy in private lol). I think he would bring you tea and dates or oranges depending on what was available and you two just sit there and talk or hold hands in silence enjoying each other's company.

Henry Green - The Selfless Lover. I think that this man drinks chai, tis a staple drink to this gorgeous man and once he introduces you to it and you like it? Consider drinking Chai together one of the many things you two share together. He loves it when you call him his real name Jayadeep and the grin on his face every time you do it is a mile wide. He always kisses the back of your hand when you two meet bowing slightly (which once you two become friends you wonder why he keeps that formal gesture, but he continues to bow out of respect for you). Has a little habit of pulling at his collar when you're near and when he looks at you while you're speaking it takes him a moment to respond. If you're looking at a book about botany and want to show him something he'll place one arm behind your back his hand resting on the surface next to you, while the other supports the book as you show him. You have noticed how his chest gently presses against your back and how his fingers brush yours when he holds the book, how close he stands and the way he leans down over your shoulder close to your face. He never tries anything ever the gentleman and you would never expect him to...he totally just gets closer to see the book properly! Will bring so many flowers you'll have your own literal garden, and every single flower will mean something. A thornless red rose after the medieval tradition to symbolize his pure and eternal love that will never wane. Forget me nots for his affection and loyalty to you. Daisies for the ability to keep a secret a little joke between you two about how you must keep the true nature of what you do - aka being assassin's - secret. He takes very good care of you, always asking how you are and if there's something you need. Imagine the blush on his face when you tell him that the only thing you need is his company, this poor man will look like a tomato lol. He's always there when you want to talk offering you something to drink beforehand and then he sits there, holding your hand and listening to you talk. Will call you endearing nicknames in Punjabi and say things that you don't understand. Though when you ask him what he's saying, he just smiles with a slight blush on his face and kisses your cheek sweetly. Always offers his arm when you two are walking together, him being closer to the street of course as he wouldn't want you in/near the road. In the end if you want to stay in England or go somewhere else, he'll follow you wherever you go (personally believe that he would love to travel with you, learning about new lands and cultures, exploring with you and making memories). The first thing he does at the end of the day is search for you and he invites you to read together or have tea/whatever your pleasure drink is, so you two can just relax together (and be alone but he won't admit that lol). This man will pretend to read his book, but he'll actually be peeking at you over the top to catch glimpses of your face. Will gush about you to his parents and his mother already loves you because you make her darling son happy, but his father is a little skeptical. The reason being that Arbaaz was angry to find out that his only son did not have the killer instinct of an assassin within him and turned out to be a peaceful intellectual instead, and he is now concerned that the love his son has for you may make him weak. The whole "love can make you weak vs love can make you strong" argument runs rampant in his mind. But when Arbaaz sees how serious his son is about you, he begins to have hope that Jayadeep's love for you will at least inspire a protective nature in his son. It does. He asks the Frye twins if they can brush him up on combat (he can fight from previous training but he's lil rusty) so he can be ready to kick the dumb out of anybody who tries to hurt you. He loves you and never wants it to come to a situation where he can't fight or kill to defend you (but then again, he doesn't really get into fights bc the majority of people like him lol he's a cinnamon roll)

Yusuf Tazim - The Amusing Lover. This man will make.you.laugh allll the time. He has a wonderful sense of humor and considering that his favorite sound in the world is your voice and specifically your laughter? He'll do anything to bring a smile to your face and make you laugh. He is very sweet and would NEVER do anything to disrespect you but if someone else does? I have a feeling that this man goes from sweet to serial killer real quick lol. Something about him says to me that he goes feral when protecting his loved ones, so don't cross him or disrespect the one he loves. Calls you endearing names in Turkish his favorite being 'Sweetheart' because he thinks that you're very sweet both personality and otherwise... Head cannon that he got so nervous when he first met you because he thought that you were so beautiful he couldn't remember English, so he stood there introducing himself in Turkish and asking if he may have the honor of showing you around the city when you have some free time. You had no idea what he was saying but you couldn't deny that he was very cute, and it made you smile. While he is quite a good-natured comical man, he does have serious moments and is not afraid to wrap his arms around you and tell you how much he loves you. Cooking and especially baking with you is something that he loves to do because he has fond childhood memories of baking with his mother. Have a feeling that he's a family man and that he would LOVE to have big family. This man is MEANT to be a Papa (fight me I won't back off on this one lol). He cannot WAIT to have a handful of little bitties running around who call you Mama and him Baba. He would love to have daughters who he can play with (and teach about hair care bc have you seen his luxurious locks?) that look exactly like you. He loves to hold your hand and trace the lines of your palm almost as if he's trying to memorize every single detail, all while kissing the tips of your fingers. You tell him that this tickles of course but it makes you laugh so he doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon lol. He also loves to kiss you on the cheek always pulling away with a wide grin when he hears you giggle at the feeling of his beard against your skin. There are few feelings in the world that he thinks are better than holding you in his arms, waking up to see you asleep next to him, or the feeling of coming home to you and seeing you safe and happy. If.you.bake.for.him he will MARRY YOU. There is no asking (joking he 'll plan the most romantic proposal ever for sure) he'll literally just consider you his wife because he'll never want anyone else or their cooking. Playing with his hair, brushing it, braiding it and putting his head wrap(?) on for him are things that he will melt like butter over. He loves it. He loves how you kiss him all over his face and cling to him just as tightly as he does you when he hugs you. I personally think that he would looovveee it if you learned some Turkish lullabies and sang to him, whether it be while doing a minute task or just before bed. This man DEF gives the kind of hugs where he rushes to meet you and wraps his arms around you to spin you around. When you greet him at the end of the day, he jogs to you with a happy smile and kisses you sweetly. Will totally take your hands intertwining his fingers with yours as he moves your arms and hands slowly in a silly dancing motion as he asks about your day. Man gives a vibe of lowkey ADHD lol. Whenever he gets into a mischievous mood you can expect him to grab you by the hand and pull you in tow behind him, running through the markets either to cause a ruckus with the guards by trolling them from AFAR (he'd NEVER put you in intentional danger) and making them pin it on each other, or finding a secluded spot on the rooftops to watch the sunset/rise/stars in the sky. TELL ME that after all of the teasing and picking on Ezio that this man has done, that Ezio will hesitate for a SECOND to tease him right back about you and how whipped he is for you.

[barrackspredator]

Heyyy!! I have a question..so if butch found out Henry had a girlfriend...how do you think he would react...???I feel like he'd be mad at first but if Henry's girlfriend is submissive enough he could use it to his advantage like making Henry's girl cook for everybody in return of letting her sleep over the night to spend time with henry

Butch finding out Henry has a girlfriend

⚠️TW: Reader is a victim of the sassy men apocalypse

Butch was pissed, absolutely livid

“Who the fuck do you think you are living under my roof and running off behind my back for some girl?”

He doesn’t like you but mostly ‘cuz he doesn’t like Henry

“Run while you still can”

He says sassy remarks with a side eye like Henry

Seeing Butch is getting unwarranted advice every time you go

“Don’t wear that again 🤨”

Henry and Butch argue about you in front of you and it’s an absolute sass fest

“I DON’T WORK EVERY DAY JUST TO COME HOME TO YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND LOUNGING AROUND MY HOUSE-”

*Ding* “Oh, I think the chicken pot pie is ready”

Butch stopped screaming and stared at you blankly before nodding.

“Alright she can stay.”

Butch hates Henry but tolerates you because you’re a decent person

He still judges you to your face though

#1 hater just like Henry

Says out of pocket shit when he’s two beers in

“You kids just do me a favor and wear a rubber ‘cuz… i’m too young to be a peepaw.”

If he ever catches you alone in the house without Henry, expect a vent session of him just slandering tf outta Henry and the gang

He sets rules whenever you sleepover

“1. Keep your room door open. 2. No funny business. 3. Don’t touch my beers.”

He will convince you to leave Henry

He is also convinced you will leave Henry because he doesn’t trust women

[marsidotcom]

So.. Would any of y'all read this based on this alone?

[dostarsfallatall]

Oh creature(Adam in the og) from the hit comic glass scientists whom shouldn’t be attractive but i find incredibly attractive anyway and have a concerning amount of pictures+album of save me

-I wanna kiss him is that so wrong of me 😔

-This goes for almost all versions of him too btw just not the ones who get his character totally wrong in design and personality like making him a mindless fool

[mightntbethebest]

Various KFAM Doodles

Again.

[New and Old]

[1] Most recent Henry Drawing. Why's he so mad? Who hurt his feelings???

[2] I think my first drawing of Forrest?

[3] Transgender Forrest Nash [Consider,,, please,,,]

[4] Marie Campbell: "I don't give a fuck if you're trans Henry, Kill Teddy Gallows >:["

[5] Cut off comic lmao

Marie: "Honestly, all you do is bitch."

Forrest: "I think I bitch a perfectly normal amount for this situation!"

[6] Henry:((( Sweet Boy:((((

[iamshay]

My Life: Me : ....(ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ

[queensilber]

Henry and Alex are the reincarnations of Merlin and Arthur. Fight me on it, I dare you.

[getroached]

watching Hardcore Henry again

[bloodtiesstilllives]

It's A Sass Off Everybody, Its A Sass Off

I have many things that I watch and one of them is Anime. I just got back on a whale of an anime called One Piece and am going to start working my way through the Wano Arc.

What does any of that have to do with Blood Ties? Absolutely nothing, but I saw a character that I hadn't thought about in a while.

Drakule Mihawk

And BAM! I remember how sassy this man is. His isn't a vampire but he is modeled after one. Well One Piece recently got the Live Action treatment and Mihawk was in it.

Prepare for some premium sass.

Mihawk is always going around with his chest out, big ole cross hanging from his neck. Henry is usually more dressed down and there goes his cross right there, sometimes he has a rosary as a bracelet too, but I dont think it's always.

Yes Mihawk's crucifix is bigger than Henry's, but that's because it a knife.

Looks stupid, but he has his reasons.

THE SASS! THE SASS!

I can see these guys sizing each other up.

I have no idea what they would say to each other, but a verbal sparring would happen. For context, Mihawk is talking to a one armed man. (Sorry the words are kinda cut off, but you will see it if you click in it.) Henry is quick witted and can give as good as he gets, so the sass would be top tier.

Look, straight up, neither of these guys know who the other is. Mihawk comes from a world where weird people can do weird things, so some strong guy with sharp teeth, who can't go outside in the daylight is not going to phase him one bit. Prince who? King who? Whatever.

But see these two meeting up would do a lot to shake Henry up and get his game back up. Henry hasn't needed to TRY in so long that he is just coasting. Mihawk would get his verbal sparring game up, his fashion game up, and maybe even his sword game. If you know, you know.

One would think that fatal violence would ensue, but nah. With these two, it would be about the intellectual defeat. These are two lonely, bored, over powered men who are capable of great violence, but typically prefers to be left alone to pursue their personal hobbies.

They would be awesome frenemies.

Oh of course the ultimate sass master Laszlo Cravensworth would have to say the last word lol.

[peraltiagos-paper-rings]

My thoughts on the ways in which Rebecca could become a mother:

Miracle pregnancy via Dutch boat house guy……..0/10 honestly I just think including a rape storyline in this pretty wholesome show would be gross and unnecessary, also it’s pretty clearly shown that Rebecca’s fertility doctor told her she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant

Miracle pregnancy via someone else…….meh it would seem rushed at this point unless they did a timejump in the finale where she has kids with someone idk, and again her fertility doctor told her she can’t have kids. 1/10 but also 0/10 if she gets pregnant by sam let’s not bring that back thanks

Something happens to Sassy and she adopts Nora. 3/10 I don’t really want anything to happen to Sassy 😭

She gets together with Roy’s sister and becomes a stepmother to Phoebe. ehhh 5/10 we don’t know Roy’s sister so this would feel kind of random but I guess it’s not the worst option

She gets together with Roy and becomes aunt/mother figure to Phoebe - 2/10 this just seems unlikely and weird to me lol and also I need my Roykeeley endgame

Something happens to Roy’s sister and she adopts Phoebe…1/10 lmao she doesn’t know Phoebe or Roy’s sister and this just wouldn’t make sense, if anything happened to Roy’s sister surely Roy would get custody of Phoebe.

She gets with Trent’s ex-wife and becomes stepmother to the Crimmlet - uhhhhh 3/10 idk again this would just seem kind of random and like we’ve only got 4 episodes left and we haven’t even met either of these characters

Something happens to both Trent and his ex-wife and she adopts the Crimmlet - 2/10 this seems random and illogical much like the idea of her adopting Phoebe and also I don’t want anything bad happening to Trent lol

She becomes a mother figure to the team or to certain members of the team - hmmmm 4/10 idk I love me some found family but she isn’t that much older than most of them and she’s their boss and I don’t think there’s ever been any indication that any of them see her as a mother figure (and idk why they would just start to now??)

She realises that she is basically a mother figure to Nora - 8/10 love Nora and this would be cute for her to realise that she doesn’t have to have kids of her own to be like a mother to someone

She gets with Ted and becomes stepmother to Henry. 10/10 this is the best option out of all of them tbh, not sure how likely this is to happen though because if they wanted to hint at a possible motherly bond they could have had her interact with Henry last episode so idk

She gets with Michelle and becomes stepmother to Henry…4/10 would love for Michelle to dump Dr Jake’s ass but I don’t think the writers would throw together 2 characters who have never interacted and also Rebecca wouldn’t do that to Ted 😤

She gets with Bex and becomes stepmother to Diane. 6/10 they haven’t really interacted but I would love to see Bex leave Rupert and cut him out of her and Diane’s life 🥰

She adopts Diane…5/10 would love for Rupert to die but don’t really want anything to happen to Bex, she hasn’t done anything to deserve that

She adopts some random new child. 7/10 I guess this is fine and cool I don’t see a massive problem with this

of course there’s also the possibility that the psychic was lying or a fraud, which would seem like a bummer ending tbh and also they’ve been heavily hinting that there is something to what she’s saying (with the green matchbooks and the being upside down and wet thing) so…yeah I think that would just disappoint the audience if they just went “no she was wrong and that didn’t mean anything lol”

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

David and Mary Margaret sitting there just waiting and grinning 😂

Anna is a shit liar

He's such a sassy fucking asshole

Love is a weapon.

Is it?

Or a shield?

Rumple with the sorcerers hat cracks me up.

Blackmail and vengeance not a good mix.

Awww henry wants some grampy time 💜

Belle needs a baby, someone give her a baby!!!

And that fucking DRESS SHE'S IN???!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!

I'm a little busy trying to save my true love's wife. another weird one liner.

I'm about to storm an evil ice cream truck 😂😂😂

Oof even belle gets imposter syndrome.

😬😬😬😬😬

THAT'S RIGHT RUMPLE FEEL GUILTY. TELL HER THE TRUTH!

Again rumple with the sorcerers hat cracks me up.

Hook is such a sassy bitch too.

Another banger line "if you find someone you love enough to ruin your entire life for its always worth it."

Who do you love will?

Who ruined your life?

I LOVE THAT HENRY IS WEARING A LITTLE SUIT TO MATCH GRANDPA WITH 😭😭😭😭

That furniture polish line 😂😂😂 typical grandpa antics.

Why would a cat want a hat? 😂😂

David giving hook lessons on technology is hilarious.

"I prefer her better this way more cooperativeless mouthy"

And I SANG WITH YOU

Kristoff's fucking face

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Who thr fuck would want carrot sherbert?

AH clever clever.

He's a baby not a breakfast burrito 😂😂😂