#sasha carlson

[vics-chick]

I’m at peak happiness bc tv is finally good again !! We have dancing with the stars, real housewives of Salt Lake City, Abbott elementary and love is blind is about to start again, the golden bachelorette starts tonight, Bridgerton season 4 leaks like the tv word is HEALING✨✨

[critical-quoter]

Reviews from Last Week

Claim Me Forever - A. L. Jackson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🚔 This wasn't half bad. Both Ezra and Savannah were really good characters with decently traumatic back stories, but even with all their issues, the angst didn't feel too terribly angsty. This definitely was more suspenseful (the whole point) rather than angst filled drama-fest. There was drama of course, but it wasn't due to lazy reasons (i.e. miscommunication). I liked it quite a bit.

I did not like the kids having as much talk time as they did. The boys were fine enough but I must have missed the age of the oldest. It felt implied that she was on the younger side, since the twin boys were in preschool, but she spoke like a teenager at best, and as an adult at worst. It was just such a poor decision at making her speak older.

The mystery/suspense part of the plot was pretty well done. I think it would have worked better if the book didn't start to feel drawn out in the middle for the romance building. It was like the suspense and the romance couldn't touch until the end so we were getting the bulk of two plots to make up for it.

Overall, not bad. Not the best romantic suspense I've read but not bad.

Growing With Her - A. R. Carlson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🔪 This started out pretty good. But around the 75% mark, it really began to feel like the author was just trying to get that word count in. It just began to drag to the point that even the high stakes weren't keeping me interested.

It became a very repetitive plot. There's an unknown time jump, either Shadow or Fable is hurt, the other one goes all Rambo to save them. Wash, rinse, repeat. And the time jumps! They worked once or twice (would have been better if I knew exactly how much time had passed) but then it was every other chapter, and then it was mid-chapter.

The characters were written pretty well. The plot was fairly decent. Honestly, Growing With Her would have just been better served with an editor and a healthy trimming down of like 100 pages. I liked it. I wouldn't say no to continuing the series.

Songs of the Wicked - C. A. Farran ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 💀 I honestly went into this book with so little expectations of greatness. I like the Little Mermaid, and I love a dark-ish romantasy. But man, these romantasies lately have been so mediocre at best that I was thinking if this was a 3 star read, I would walk away happy.

Consider me blown away. I devoured this. I could not put it down. Lark and Gavriel and Langford and Daciana… oh and Hugo and Allistar, everyone was just amazing. It was a fleshed out, well written cast of characters that I couldn't help but fall in love with.

This was just so good that I didn't even realize it was a debut novel from Farran until I read the Author's Info in the back after I finished crying for the night. I loved it. I already bought the sequel. I can't wait to jump back into this world.

Mess With Me - Claire Wilder ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 💅🏻 This was decent. I think that for an interconnected standalone, the book should be able to stand on its own. The problem with this was that it was slow. The beginning felt fast paced and the last 50ish pages zoomed almost too quickly but at the 50% mark it just started to drag.

I really liked Griffin and Sasha. This was definitely an opposites attract situation because these two characters could not be any more un-alike. But it seemed to work, kind of. The chemistry felt a bit forced, and Sasha throwing herself at Griffin felt so weirdly manufactured that I could really get into the relationship. Honestly Chester was my favorite out of all the characters in this book.

As far as the suspense goes, that was good. I really didn't know how it was all going to go down. In fact, if there was less romance and more of the suspense plot-line (and there was about 100 pages trimmed out) this would have been a high 4 star for sure.

The Right Man - Michelle Mankin ⭐️⭐️ 🎸 You know what? I didn't really like Rush. He said some mean stuff to and about Jewel. I know this is meant to be a Cinderella/Pretty Woman retelling but honestly, I think it missed the mark. There was insta-love (you can claim that because they didn't say it, it wasn't love, but be for real.) And the characters were just obnoxious. They went back and forth with each other, Jewel especially. Should I stay? No, I can't. dramatic arm flail over the eyes

And then the 3rd act break up? Seriously? As much as Jewel irritated me, she certainly deserved better than that treatment. Even the events leading up to it were messed up enough that I wanted it over and done with.

It just wasn't good. There was no chemistry. For a "hooker" (mind you this was the term emphatically used multiple times in this book), Jewel had no spine and no real personality. Just a simpering, noodle of a person. And Rush was garbage. We literally opened the book up to him fooling around with 3 random women. Nah, dog. 2 stars was generous.

My Vampire Plus-One - Jenna Levine ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🧛🏻‍♂️ My Vampire Plus-One had absolutely no business being as literally laugh out loud funny and sweet as it was. Frankly, I was blown away with how good this was. I went in thinking I'd get a cozy little paranormal rom-com and that's exactly what I got. But! It was done with such thorough skill that I was instantly absorbed. 

I loved Reggie instantly. He was so eccentric and funny and completely the opposite of how vampires are usually portrayed. He also worked so well with Amelia and her (slightly) uptight accountant-ness. And Amelia was just perfect. I cannot express this enough. Amelia was absolutely perfect. Her reactions to Reggie's blatant vampirism comments and the fact that she thought he was such a weirdo was just hysterical.

And despite or because all the hilarity, the chemistry between Reggie and Amelia was just so good. They worked so well together at every point. Honestly, I want more.

Before Girl - Kate Canterbary ⭐️ 🩻 Cal is 42 and we're supposed to believe that he's so shy that he cannot speak to Stella for 8 months but then their first conversation is filled with overtly sexual innuendos. I'm talking about the kind of innuendos that are absolute cringe. I was entirely grossed out and immediately hated him. 

And Stella. Don't get me started on her. No really, don't get me started. She's a "strong" fmc but I think that was only shown by making her a workaholic with color-coded friends with benefits schedule. They were both just lackluster characters that gave me repeated ick. 

Much like the plot. Ugh.

Bad Minotaur - Janae Cantrell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🐮 At some point, I'm going to look back at everything I've read and maybe there will be some shame.

Just kidding. I fucking loved this. I did not go into this with many expectations. I didn't even read the plot. And it turns out, I really like minotaur romances. I don't know what that says about me and I will not be asking my therapist about it.

Theon was a sweet cinnamon roll of a minotaur right up until Daisy started talking about other people, then he was not sweet. My only beef (ha, pun intended) was when they discussed pregnancy and Theon said he wasn't ready and Daisy got huffy and almost pressured him into a baby (?). It felt weird. I didn't like that. Otherwise, wonderful material. I will read all monster erotica Janae Cantrell publishes.

Sable Peak - Devney Perry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🏔️ I can never read The Edens series for the first time again and that is one of my biggest regrets.

This wasn't the strongest in the series and that has a lot to do with the first part of the book specifically. I'm not the biggest fan of unrequited love (particularly when it's the FMC that's pining) but the most egregious issue in the first part was a lack of POV for Mateo. I know that Vera is the main character and this is her story, but we don't really see anything of Mateo finding out that he has a daughter, and the struggle he went through when he first found out and gained custody.

I just wanted more.

And now the series is done and I won't get more.

I love The Edens. I wasn't expecting to fall so hard in love with all of the characters and their stories but this will be one of those book series that I recommend forever.

Throttled - Lauren Asher ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🏎️ There was just something about this book that I didn't vibe with. I think a bit of it had to do with Noah as he started out. He was just so absolutely foul as a human. And what happened after he turned Maya down was just gross. It didn't need to happen honestly.

Something about this book in general kept it at okay but not great or even good. The writing was fine. The characters were fine. Everything was fine. But I'm going to write this review, return this book to Kindle Unlimited, and never think about it ever again. This is the second book I've read from Lauren Asher, and frankly, my opinion hasn't changed. Their books are okay but I'm not ever going to love them.

[sergeifyodorov]

favorite current player from every team?

>:]

BOS - pasta (love hate relationship) (only bruin i can fully embrace when leafs arent playing them tbh)

BUF - i have few strong feelings towards most sabres but i think ras dahlin. because he sucks <3

DET - moris.... alex lyon close second tbh

FLA - sergei bobrovsky. see boston

MTL - slaykovsky (or arber maybe?)

OTT - claude.

TBL - this is a difficult one but my beautiful eyebrowless mother steven stamkos probably numero uno

TOR - auston (virgo)

CAR - seth jarvis, who is great because unlike the deep jock bro attitude that permeates seemingly every other hockey boy, or even the slight self-importance of the various and sundry catholic school types, he possesses the good-natured self-deprecation instincts of a right proper Normal Bitchass Gen Z

CBJ - i am a patrik laine shooter forever and always

NJD - nico. he's hot

NYR - igor because that man is both an elite goaltender AND a man with some of the most beautiful eyes on the planet. sympathies to my fellow only child of divorce artemi panarin also

NYI - barzy...?

PHI - if i didn't say teekay id be rounded up in the streets and shot. good thing it's teekay though

WSH - class of 15 instincts say dylan first overall pick disease and my dick say ovi

ARI - SOOOO hard to choose because i need firmly for alex kerfoot to know that i want him to come back to leafland but also clayton keller is out there... clay. picking clay

CHI - bedsy obviously. eyebrow twins <3

COL - good stick lehky the universe may be committed to making ppl forget about you constantly by making you get injured all the time. but EYE have not forgotten

DAL - wyatt johnston my english classmate <- before you ask. no i have never actually met this man it's a joke about him being my age and torontonian

MIN - flower

NSH - difficult choice... ror and evangelista both delights but juuse saros... juuse saros my beloved

STL - vladik tarasenko. he's still a blue in my HEART ok actual real answer is brayden schenn but i wish the blues tanked for and successfully got celebrini or bedard or something because like. their current Narrative Relevance is being "jordan binnington's team" and that's not a fate any hockey team deserves

WPG - i think we should ask hockey players who the most underrated player in the league is again but we should tell them beforehand if they pick sasha barkov they get pepper sprayed. anyway if im a hockey player in that situation im answering nik ehlers

ANA - that adorable child with the stutter leo carlson

CGY - naz

EDM - connie

LAK - kopi

SJS - it USED to be duke but now we can't have nice things (loving happy family etc) so purely because of various sharks and sharks-adjacent mutuals i have, im taking a hard turn into creaturehood and picking ekky

SEA - who is on this team

VAN - quinnifer always forever no doubt about it

VGK - the spiritual and transgender bond i share with jack eichel cannot be broken

[narcissusbrokenmirror]

sometimes when i watch the interviews from Kenny and the jatp cast i want to send Netflix to hell with my own bare hands. like. they actually wrote songs for the show that I'll never see. Cheyenne will never show me what the fuck is behind Caleb's character. I will never see a Willie and Alex duet. reggie will never get a girlfriend. Carrie and Julie will never heal. Carlos and Reggie will never actually meet. Sasha Carlson was one step away to show us some big time performance. I'm grieving here

[jerzwriter]

Tobias Carrick Appreciation Week - Day 2: Friendship

Tobias's Friends

Tobias has a ton of acquaintances but a small circle of close friends who mean the world to him. Friendship plays an important role in his life. He and Casey are that couple that are always hosting bar-b-ques and game nights, and they have an open-door policy (though their friends know they could always walk in on some questionable stuff! 😂😂

More on these friends below:

Kerry Chadwick: (FC - Jessica Alba) Kerry is Tobias's oldest friend. She is the daughter of close family friends, and neither remembers a time without each other. They went to the same prep schools together and dated briefly in high school, but they realized that they were better as friends. She is a successful lawyer in Washington, DC, she is married with two children (Tobias is godfather of one). She will absolutely call him out on his bullshit - always has - always will. She became good friends with Sasha (below) when visiting Tobias in Boston, and the three formed a pretty tight group. Tobias considers Kerry family and vice versa. Because of distance, they don't see each other as often as they'd like, but they speak at least once a week, bust each other on Social media constantly, and she is elated when Tobias & Casey eventually move to DC.

Sasha Carlson: (FC - Rosario Dawson) Sasha and Tobias met during his second year of residency at Mass Kenmore. They began dating shortly after meeting, and she was the closest he ever came to a serious adult relationship before Casey, but it didn't end well. He cared for her but didn't love her "in that way." After their breakup, he swore off relationships - if someone who checked all the boxes like Sasha did couldn't work - he decided it just wasn't for him. Sasha really loved him, so she was hurt, and they were not friends afterward, but when a few years passed, they developed a friendship. Like Kerry, Sasha is very down to earth and tells it like it is. Which is why the two women likely became good friends, too. Tobias lunched with Sasha at least 2 times a week when he was still at Kenmore, and he tried to see her at least weekly after. He became cordial friends with her husband - though they aren't especially close. She loved Casey from the start, so double dates and dinners at each other's homes became very common after the two were together.

Jordan Carrick: (FC—Rene Jean Page) Tobias did not always have a good relationship with his baby brother. It took time, communication, and a lot of growing up on both their parts, but eventually, they grew closer, and Tobias considered him one of his closest friends. In reality, they are each other's touchstones. No one fully understands their childhood except each other. They end up having a lot of fun together (Jordan is one of the "fun uncles"), but they also have a deep bond. Tobias is much more at peace with himself when the two of them reconnect. By the time the girls are born, they text daily and talk frequently. While they don't live near one another, they still make time to see each other as often as they can.

Bryce Lahela: In my HC, Bryce, and Tobias met at a few events during book 1 and really hit it off. Their personalities are similar in many ways, and Lahela is like a younger version of Tobias. But after Tobias and Casey's first failed attempt at dating, Bryce's opinion of Tobias diminished, and it wasn't until after the chemical attack that Bryce gave him a second shot. Of all Casey's friends, Bryce is the one Tobias got along with most organically, and while Casey is always Bryce's ride-or-die, he and Tobias are friends in their own right, too. The way Bryce was omnipresent at the roomie's apartment? Yeah, he's like that at Tobias & Casey's townhome, too. lol IN fact, he pretty much commandeered one of the guest rooms. I HC that he moved to DC a couple years after Tobias & Casey did, and ended up staying with them for a very long time and they were losing their minds for a little while. He adores their girls, and they adore him, so he's around even more after they're born.

Ethan Ramsey: (FC—David Gandy) Ethan and Tobias's storied history is part of canon, and in my HC, they reestablished a friendship after Tobias began working at Edenbrook. Ethan was leery of Tobias's involvement with Casey at first, but when Ethan saw Tobias's sincerity, and how much he cared for her, his opinion of him changed—even if they didn't establish a close friendship at first. But with proximity, time, and a little nudge from Casey, the two slowly began reconnecting. Within a year's time, they were almost at close as they had been back at Hopkins, and shortly after that, he was just family (especially given Casey's close friendship with Ethan.) For the longest time, whenever the two of them had time alone together, Ethan acted like it was the greatest hindrance, but everyone knew he was full of it. lol They were definitely back to being like brothers again.

@tobias-carrick-appreciation-week

[i-miss-2013]

Hiii love u and ur blog! What YouTubers did you used to watch back in the day + who are your favs now?

Hi babe!

Thank you so much!! Love you <3

By “back in the day” I’m assuming you mean 2013-16! My favorite YouTubers were: Alisha Marie, MyLifeAsEva, LDShadowLady, Joey Graceffa,

PewDiePie, DanTDM, Lilly Singh, Good Mythical Morning, Smosh, Tyler Oakley, Dan and Phil, Rosanna Pansino, Liza Koshy, iJustine, Miranda Sings, LaurDIY, Niki and Gabi, MayBaby, Rclbeauty, Teala Dunn, Jessie Paege, Sasha Morga, and many more lol!

Currently my faves are: RemLife, Brittany Broski, Ava Rae, Caitlyn Rae, CarynandConnieGaming, Devon Lee Carlson, Eva Meloche, Nicole Laeno, Safiya Nygaard, Sarah Baska, Tati, Tana Mongeau, and Trixie Mattel

[cantsayidont]

Haterating and hollerating in the 1980s. None of these movies has any meaningful wlw content, so just assume the answer to "CONTAINS LESBIANS?" is "No."

VIDEODROME (1983): I'd never actually seen all of this loopy, surreal David Cronenberg thriller about an opportunistic Canadian TV station president (James Woods) who becomes convinced that a mysterious series of pirate broadcasts showing scenes of torture and murder might be the Next Big Thing, resisting all attempts to warn him off until it's far too late. Like SCANNERS (which I had seen), its influence has been so outsized that much of it feels familiar even on first viewing, including the film's now-notorious forays into body horror, which, if you're expecting them, are no longer really that shocking (although they are often memorably icky). What's less expected, and thus more striking, is the film's Pynchon-like (Pynchonian? Pynchonesque?) deadpan absurdity; the story is full of characters with names like Blanca O'Blivion (Sonja Smits), daughter of Marshall-McLuhan-like media theorist Brian O'Blivion, and Barry Convex (Leslie Carlson), a sinister optician who's also a defense contractor. It's really very funny, in the same mode as John Carpenter's later THEY LIVE. Judging by the sheer density of ridiculous stuff happening even around the edges, like the brief snippet we see of the weird call-in show hosted by Nicki Brand (Debbie Harry, who's less prominently featured than I'd been given to expect), I can only assume it was intentional, although Cronenberg's narrative straight face and the outsize reactions to the goopy "videocassette orifice" stuff stood in the way of its being recognized as a comedy. (That it's a satire should of course be obvious.) VERDICT: One of those movies you need to see for reasons of cultural literacy, even if it's not really your thing, but perhaps not while eating.

GOTCHA! (1985): Before finding his niche on the TV show ER, Anthony Edwards had a burgeoning career as one of the more obnoxious of the many obnoxious young male stars of the '80s, offering an insufferable combination of earnestness and smarm in films like REVENGE OF THE NERDS and this dumb teen adventure, obviously intended to capitalize on a then-popular campus fad. Horny 18-year-old UCLA veterinary student Jonathan Moore, whose favorite hobby is the titular paintball assassination game, decides to go to Europe with a friend (Alex Rocco, who has more charisma in his minor supporting role than Edwards musters in his entire '80s filmography) and falls for a hot older woman called Sasha (Linda Fiorentino), who soon involves Jonathan in some deadly real-world espionage. The midsection, set in Paris and Berlin, is an okay if unremarkable Cold War thriller, with Edwards relatively tolerable as a fish out of water; the movie's best scene has him hitching a ride with a van full of German punks who love DALLAS. Unfortunately, the third act returns to L.A. and attempts to pay off the paintball-game setup, with preposterous results. Also, if you're much older than the protagonist, the way the story wraps up Jonathan's relationship with Sasha will likely seem a little creepy. VERDICT: Misses the mark.

INTO THE NIGHT (1985): Oddball black comedy thriller starring Jeff Goldblum as Ed Okin, a depressed, insomniac aerospace engineer who over the course of one long night becomes the unlikely savior of a beautiful woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) who's being pursued by an assortment of deadly enemies. Goldblum has fun with his character, who hasn't slept in days and is no longer capable of any emotional response beyond mild dismay (something that becomes progressively funnier as the situation escalates), and he has excellent rapport with Pfeiffer, who's not so much a femme fatale as an aging good-time girl who's worn out her welcome just about everywhere. Unfortunately, they're saddled with a script that often seems like an unfinished draft, with a murky, rather racist plot that's full of setups for gags whose punchlines are still marked "TBA," and punctuated by bursts of violence that are frequently meaner than called for (the fate of the Kathryn Harrold character is especially nasty, and completely gratuitous). Dan Ackroyd, David Bowie, Vera Miles, Irene Papas, and other prominent stars pop up in minor roles, usually for no more than a scene or two, and director John Landis peppers the film with guest appearances by other film directors (including Roger Vadim, Paul Mazursky, David Cronenberg, and Jim Henson, among others), which is distracting if you recognize them and puzzling if you don't. VERDICT: Goldblum and Pfeiffer are great, but Landis's weird indulgences leave it feeling like a private joke.

MANHUNTER (1986): Mesmerizing Michael Mann adaptation of the Thomas Harris novel RED DRAGON, with William Petersen as Will Graham, Dennis Farina as Jack Crawford, Tom Noonan as the "Tooth Fairy" killer, Joan Allen as Reba, and Brian Cox as Hannibal Lecter (for some reason spelled "Lecktor"). It has a very different narrative center of gravity than later Hannibal Lecter movies or the HANNIBAL TV show, though it's no less stylized, with striking use of color and music (most memorably in the finale, which uses Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" diegetically). Like most such stories, it's ideologically objectionable — though arguably less so than THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS — but it's certainly effective, and less hokey than the 2002 adaptation with Ed Norton. Long, slow-paced (particularly in the director's cut), and not very deep, but if you catch it in the right frame of mind, its blend of chilly psychological detachment and procedural minutiae is almost hypnotic. VERDICT: A movie to dissociate to.

THE MANHATTAN PROJECT (1986): If OPPENHEIMER struck you as too pompous and amoral, try this decent if implausible mid-'80s teen movie about a high school science prodigy (Christopher Collet) who decides to protest the secret DOE lab run by his mom's nerdy new scientist boyfriend (John Lithgow) by stealing some plutonium from the lab with the help of his aspiring teen reporter sort-of girlfriend (a babyfaced Cynthia Nixon) and then building his own atomic bomb. The first half relies too heavily on its hyper-competent (and singularly arrogant) kid hero effortlessly outwitting doofus adults, although it works well enough on its own terms. Things pick up in the exciting third act, which is enlivened by a terrific performance by Lithgow, supported by John Mahoney as a hard-bitten Army colonel who's decided the best way to contain the situation is to kill the boy as soon as they can separate him from the bomb. Collet is quite good, if not terribly likeable; Nixon does her best with an underwritten supporting role. VERDICT: The intended moral point ends up a little muddy, but an attempt was made, which is more than one can say for Nolan's overblown epic.

MIRACLE MILE (1988): AFTER HOURS at the end of the world: What begins as a treacly romance about a dweebish musician (Anthony Edwards at his most objectionably saccharine) falling for a diner waitress (Mare Winningham with a truly unfortunate haircut) takes an extremely dark turn as our hapless hero answers a misdialed pay phone call and learns that nuclear war is about to begin, setting him on a frantic, surreal late-night quest to find his dream girl and get them both out of L.A. before it's destroyed by (presumably) Soviet missiles. It's a frightening premise for a perfectly dreadful script whose painfully contrived setup, cartoonish characters (including Denise Crosby as an unlikely diner patron who seems to know something about what may be going on), and uneasy half-comic tone undermine its credibility at every turn. The urgency and uncertainty of the threat are enough to hold your attention for about an hour, but from there, the story has nothing left to do but to play out the string, leading to an incredibly nihilistic finale not recommended for anyone in an emotionally fragile state. VERDICT: Memorably weird, but not in a good way.

[soylazaro]

Mattress Firm 'Spiral in the Diner' directors cut from Tom Noakes on Vimeo.

Mattress Firm ‘Spiral in the Diner’

Agency: @Droga5 Exec Creative Director: Tara Lawall @taralawall Creative Directors: Tobias Carlson, Jonas Wittenmark @thegretagarbos Ex-Executive Group Director: Frank Renwick Account Director: Nivedita Roberts Executive Producer: Jeremy Fox @jezzafox Executive Producer: Seth Tabor @taborifica Director of Business Affairs: Dan Simonetti Art Director: Eve Nova @eevvveeee Copywriter: Juan Garza @juancamillogarza

Director: me :) Production @PRETTYBIRDPIC EP: Ali Brown @actioncannon Director of Production: Tracy Hauser Producer: Matt Wersinger @m.wersinger Prod Supervisor: Moira Hurley Post Producer: Miles Barfield @miles_barfield

Liev Schreiber as Liev Schreiber Hero: Grace Rex @ofcatsandmilk Waitress: Fran Jaye Criminals: Jonathan Peacy, Michael Maize @Michaelmaize Cook: Alex Malaos @alexmalaos Casting Director: David Vaccari

1st AD: Todd Kaufman @tdkman 2nd AD: Mike Polisano DGA Trainee: Alyssa Fauntleroy

DP: Chayse Irvin Gaffer: Alexander Stevens Key Grip: Jesse Saviola VTR: Reggie Ollen

Production Designer: Latisha Duarte @latishaduarte Art Coord: Kelly Cipriano @krcip Key Prop: Jack Mortellaro @jackmortellaro Set Decorator: Teri Bella @greenorpheus SPFX Key: Pete Wright @dirtscootrider13 Art PA:

Stylist: Cherish Cullison Key Hair: Ande Cambridge Make-up: Mia Varrone

Location Scout: Larry Horodner Location Manager: Bear Schmidt Craft Service: Joey Pesce Prod Assist: Steve Ramos

Edit @exileedit Editor(s): Lucas Byrnes @lucasbaynes & Peter Sciberras @sciberras.peter Exec Producer: Sasha Hirschfield Head of Production: Evyn Bruce

VFX by Parliament @prlmt Colour by Tim Masick @ Company_3

Post sound by @Heardcity & Phil Loeb @linushuey

Music by @humanworldwide Composers: Ed Dunne, Andy Bloch Production: James Wells, Kenzo Perron

[chaosandcrimson]

Multimuse blog for @cyberplex. Penned by Anna.

Akira 'Kyra' Kitagawa | 27 | FC: Mio Imada - [ BIO ]

Amirah 'Ames' Shehadi | 25 | FC: Jihane Almira - [ BIO ]

Annabel Lee Chase | 27 | FC: Valentina Zenere - [ BIO ]

Beatrix 'Trixie' Vos | 28 | FC: Lili Reinhart - [ BIO ]

Billie Bennett | 38 | FC: Meagan Tandy - [ BIO ]

Brooklyn Barton | 22 | FC: Bailey Bass - [ BIO ]

Carrie Bachman | 22 | FC: Alisha Newton - [ BIO ]

Cinder Glass | 28 | FC: Imogen Poots - [ BIO ]

Constance 'Connie' Bishop | 43 | FC: Gemma Chan - [ BIO ]

Cornelia Belmont | 32 | FC: Sasha Luss - [ BIO ]

Danica 'Danny' Wainwright | 27 | FC: Grace Van Patten - [ BIO ]

Daphne Winters | 40 | FC: Deborah Ann Woll - [ BIO ]

Dashwood 'Dash' Wheeler | 40 | FC: Mary Elizabeth Winstead - [ BIO ]

Delilah Bowen | 26 | FC: Daisy Edgar-Jones - [ BIO ]

Desdemona 'Mona' Montgomery | 34 | FC: Meaghan Rath - [ BIO ]

Domino | 29 | FC: Dua Lipa - [ BIO ]

Emmeline 'Mel' Devereux | 22 | FC: Minnie Mills - [ BIO ]

Emmylou Allerdyce | 30 | FC: Cara Delevingne - [ BIO ]

Eos Genova | 28 | FC: Nina Dobrev - [ BIO ]

Esperanza 'Essie' Rivera | 35 | FC: Eiza González - [ BIO ]

Evangeline 'Eva' Cruz | 28 | FC: Liza Soberano - [ BIO ]

Felicity 'Flick' Myers | 28 | FC: Kelli Berglund - [ BIO ]

Freja Delselius | 28 | FC: Sarah Gustafsson - [ BIO ]

Gabriela Dantes | 25 | FC: Becky G - [ BIO ]

Gemini | 34 | FC: Jessica Henwick - [ BIO ]

Genevieve 'Genie' Collins | 23 | FC: Nicole Wallace - [ BIO ]

Hazel Hawthorne | 21 | FC: Olivia Rodrigo - [ BIO ]

Helena Montgomery | 22 | FC: Ciara Bravo - [ BIO ]

Irena Harker | 54 | FC: Rachel Weisz - [ BIO ]

Iris Mercer | 28 | FC: Sarah Jeffery - [ BIO ]

Jacqueline 'Jackie' Porter | 27 | FC: Lana Condor - [ BIO ]

Jenna DiCamillo | 30 | FC: Erin Moriarty - [ BIO ]

Jessica 'Jess' West | 29 | FC: Katherine McNamara - [ BIO ]

Joyland Devore | 27 | FC: Grace Van Dien - [ BIO ]

Julie Dantes | 23 | FC: Natalie Alyn Lind - [ BIO ]

Kaitlyn 'Kitty' Castle | 22 | FC: Emilia Jones - [ BIO ]

Karma Jones | 26 | FC: Phoebe Dynevor - [ BIO ]

Keaton Ryan | 26 | FC: Carlson Young - [ BIO ]

Lenore 'Nora' Chase | 39 | FC: Anna Kendrick - [ BIO ]

Lisbeth 'Lizzie' Lovelace | 22 | FC: Emilia Jones - [ BIO ]

Lucia 'Luz' Martinez | 27 | FC: Daniela Nieves - [ BIO ]

Marisol de la Luna | 21 | FC: Isabela Merced - [ BIO ]

Minnie Dantes | 29 | FC: Dove Cameron - [ BIO ]

Mizi Corazón | 26 | FC: Miya Horcher - [ BIO ]

Natalya Belikov | 29 | FC: Florence Pugh - [ BIO ]

Nikita 'Nicky' Rose | 27 | FC: Charithra Chandran - [ BIO ]

Nyx Nieves | 31 | FC: Victoria Justice - [ BIO ]

Odessa Brody | 29 | FC: Danielle Campbell - [ BIO ]

Ophelia Stark | 20 | FC: Paulina Chávez - [ BIO ]

Pandora Brody | 30 | FC: Summer Bishil - [ BIO ]

Phoebe Lupin | 36 | FC: Amanda Seyfried - [ BIO ]

Quinta 'Quinn' Brody | 37 | FC: Jacqueline Sato - [ BIO ]

Rhiannon Bowen | 30 | FC: Suki Waterhouse - [ BIO ]

Roxanne 'Roxy' Flockton | 25 | FC: Kaylee Kaneshiro - [ BIO ]

Ruby Villanueva | 27 | FC: Maris Racal - [ BIO ]

Safiya Wilson | 29 | FC: Greta Onieogou - [ BIO ]

Samantha 'Sam' Bennett | 36 | FC: Candice Patton - [ BIO ]

Scarlette Leong | 31 | FC: Chloe Bennet - [ BIO ]

Serenity Pierce | 31 | FC: Lucy Boynton - [ BIO ]

Stephanie 'Stevie' Sinclair | 32 | FC: Taylor Swift - [ BIO ]

Teagan Castle | 40 | FC: Jenna Coleman - [ BIO ]

Thalia Belmont | 24 | FC: Sarah Michelle Gellar - [ BIO ]

Valeria 'Val' Dutton | 24 | FC: Maia Reficco - [ BIO ]

Victoria Stark | 34 | FC: Lindsey Morgan - [ BIO ]

Virginia 'Ginny' Bennett | 20 | FC: Mia Isaac - [ BIO ]

Whitney Wainwright | 36 | FC: Lily James - [ BIO ]

Xenon Luxe | 27 | FC: Janella Salvador - [ BIO ]

Yoshiko 'Yoshi' Nakahara | 25 | FC: Reina Hardesty - [ BIO ]

Zarina West | 29 | FC: Katherine McNamara - [ BIO ]

[palmviewfm]

hi! looking to join soon :) could i have a little list of most wanted faces??

hello  hello  !  we'd  love  to  have  you  join  us  around  here  !  there's  a  ton  of  opened  faceclaims  that  we'd  love  to  see,  so  i'll  put  it  under  a  read  more  for  you !

madison  bailey,  chase  stokes,  rudy  pankow,  carlacia  grant,  abigail  cowen,  danny  griffin,  sadie  soverall,  kat  mcnamara,  zoe  colletti,  zhao  lusi,  leo  woodall,  noah  lalonde,  chris  briney,  cierra  ramirez,  maia  mitchell,  herman  tommeraas,  simone  baldasseroni,  kathryn  bernardo,  kathryn  newton,  camila  mendes,  madelaine  petsch,  charles  melton,  lili  reinhart,  meg  donnelly,  tanner  buchanan,  mary  mouser,  peyton  list,  antonia  gentry,  katie  douglas,  chelsea  clark,  sara  waisglass,  felix  mellard,  froy  guiterrez,  josh  o'connor,  olivia  holt,  corey  fogelmanis,  savannah  lee  smith,  chandler  kinney,  jack  mulhern,  whitney  peak,  keiynan  lonsdale,  nick  robinson,  ross  lynch,  jane  de  leon,  samantha  logan,  daniel  ezra,  cody  christian,  danielle  rose  rusell,  kaylee  kaneshiro,  oliver  jackson-cohen,  kenny  boyd,  danielle  campbell,  evan  mock,  emilio  sakraya,  gabrielle  wilde,  humberly  gonzalez,  lucien  laviscount,  indiana  evans,  odeya  rush,  kaia  gerber,  jessie  mei  lei,  jordan  fisher,  courtney  eaton,  auli'i  cravalho,  lana  condor,  alisha  boe,  ashley  moore,  zendaya  coleman,  tom  holland,  gabriel  guevara,  maxence  danet-fauvel,  zion  moreno,  bailee  madison,  zaria  simone,  malia  pyles,  jordan  gonzalez,  damian  hardung,  liz  gillies,  avan  jogia,  algee  smith,  aria  shahghasemi,  chay  suede,  diego  boneta,  sarah  catherine  cook,  diego  tinoco,  berk  atan,  brandon  perea,  matthew  noszka,  lucy  hale,  hannah  kepple,  daisy  edgar  jones,  hero  tiennes  tiffin,  josephine  langford,  nikki  rodriguez,  imani  lewis,  olivia  rodrigo,  sofia  carson,  ella  purnell,  tom  blyth,  rachel  zegler,  hunter  schafer,  maia  reficco,  natalie  alyn  lind,  carson  boatman,  melis  sezen,  raven  bowens,  victoria  konefal,  olivia  rose  keegan,  elizabeth  lail,  camryn  grimes,  phoebe  dyvenor,  rege  jean-page,  renee  rapp,  laura  harrier,  bebe  wood,  angourie  rice,  mackenzie  foy,  anna  lambe,  harris  dickinson,  blu  hunt,  aj  saudin,  brianne  tju,  nicole  wallace,  carlson  young,  alycia  debnam  carey,  brenna  d'amico,  brec  bassinger,  bianca  santos,  skyler  samuels,  david  corenswet,  logan  lerman,  aubrey  joseph,  jabari  banks,  brittany  o'grady,  halle  bailey,  bailey  bass,  freya  allan,  josie  totah,  luca  hollestelle,  andre  lamoglia,  maitreyi  ramakrishnan,  minnie  mills,  milly  alcock,  annalisa  cochrane,  adeline  rudolph,  tati  gabrielle,  alva  bratt,  aisha  dee,  charlotte  jordan,  adria  arjona,  sophie  turner,  suki  waterhouse,  amanda  arcuri,  joe  keery,  eli  brown,  sasha  pieterse,  josh  hutcherson,  sam  claflin,  josha  stradowski,  logan  shroyer,  leo  howard,  anya  taylor  joy,  florence  pugh,  alexxis  lemire,  skyler  gisondo,   alia  bhatt,  amber  midthunder,  devery  jacobs,  anya  chalotra,  ayo  edibiri,  becky  gomez,  jaz  sinclair,  simone  ashley,  and  charithra  chandran.

[vm4vm0]

HARRY STYLES - MUSIC FOR A SUSHI RESTAURANT from AUBE PERRIE on Vimeo.

@harrystyles ‘Music For a Sushi Restaurant’

Written and Directed by Aube Perrie @aube_perrie

Production Co: @PulseFilms Production Service: LFR Productions Executive Producer, Pulse Films: @beatrik Executive Producers, LFR: Luigi Rossi & Francesco Rizzo @luigirossi.tv @currynneon Producer: Josh Sondock @_Sondock

Label: @columbiarecords Commissioner: Bryan Younce @bryanyounce Creative Director : Molly Hawkins @mollyjane_x

DoP: Legend Chris Ripley @christopher.c.ripley Production Designer: Patience Harding @patienceharding Casting Director: Kate Antognini @kateantognini Photographer: Adm Powell @a_damp_owl Special Makeup Effects Designer & Prosthetic Makeup Lead: Legend Chelsea Delfino @chelseadelfino_artistry @chelseadelfino_sfx Stylist: Lindsey Hartman @lindseyhartman Hair: Zuleika Acosta @zuzubeauty Make-up: Ashley Di Sarro @ashleydisarro Location Manager: Jennifer Quesenbery @tank_the_chihuahua

Production Supervisor: Brooke Elito @broookeee21 Coordinator: Debby Tickenoff @debb_louise 1st Assistant Director: Amazing Donna Imbarrato @donnadonnamarie 1st Assistant Director: Abbey Hansen @aunt_craycray 2nd Assistant Director: Maria Villena @Ria_on_Set Art Coordinator: Caroline Jackson @womanhood

Editors: Gwen Ghelid @gwenghelid & Aube Perrie

Color: Thomas Mangham @thomasmangham 2D Lead: Toby Aldridge Post: @blackkitestudios Post Producer: Jade Denne Sound design & Mix: Mark Hellaby @onegearconvert Sound House: @750_mph Producer: Olivia Ray

Stills Artist: @james_siewert_artwork Director’s Rep: HANDS @handsldn

2nd Unit DP: Doug Durant @dougdurant Steadicam Op: Kyle Fasanella @vilekyle 1st AC: Nick Wiesner @nwiesner 2nd AC: Justin Mulroy @just_dropped_in Loader: Laura Eraud @Snoufy18 Camera PA: Raheem Stanley @raheemtystanley

Gaffer: Omar Nasr @Omarknasr BB Electric: Agustina Biasutto @agustinabiasutto Board Operator: Brandon Woodruff @tropical___products Electric: Alex Blum @light.blums Driver/Swing: Matt Lundy Key Grip: Keve Huggins @burnzgood BB Grip: Patrick Graham @impockets Grip: Dwane Harris @watch22 Grip: Mithin Thomas @mithintvm

Lead: Erick Benavides @erickbenavi Set Decorator: Abby McCreary @abigailmccreary Set Decorator: Phil McGill @papermatador Set Decorator: Lissette Emma @lissette_emma Prop Master: Zach Adams @georgggy Art Assistant: Jorge Almengor @influenced_5000 Art Assistant: Alexandra Massillo @ok4yso Art Assistant: Julye William @Jeezjulye

Harry Styles’ Skin: Dotti @therealistdotti Harry Styles’ Hair: Matt Mullhall @mattmulhall Harry Styles Stylist: Harry Lambert @harry_lambert Harry Styles’ Stylist Assistant: Ryan Wohlgemut @ryanwohlgemut

Prosthetic Makeup Artist: Sasha Glasser @sashaglasser

Tail produced by: Legend Jason Hamer’s Hamer FX @jasonhamer @Hamer_fx Sculptor: Mario Tores & Greg Polutanovich @gregpolutanovich Mold makers: Kyle Konkle, Eric Mullins,  @theartofseanpatrick & Emily Faunce Fabrication: Reggie Rizzo Painter: Eric Harris

Shrimp mask fabrication: Santino Ferrese @sffxstudios

Wardrobe Assistant: Amber Simirigilia @ambersimiriglia HMU Assistant: @meezamua Meliza Generoso

VTR: Steven Carlson @Steven.CR2 Script Supervisor: Carolynn Cecilia @carolynncecilia Playback: Tim Race @bigblissband Covid Compliance Manager: Mary Kate Kremar @marykaos  Covid Compliance Manager: Christian Peguro @christianpeguero Covid Compliance Assistant: Harrison Lipton @harrisonlipton Covid Compliance Assistant: Jabiece Benbow @janiecerisa Medic: Ali Colorio @alii_cat

Craft Service: Benn Goldschein Producer’s Assistant: Amy Teboul Truck PA: Ross Sloan Wardrobe Truck: Michael Spivey Camera Truck: Xavier Jeffers Set PA: Madison White AD PA: Dahvielle Lucas Set PA: Tahlia Munoz Set PA: Damien Cruz Set PA: Yvano Cajuste Set PA: JT Tsuchiya Driver PA: Duwayne King Driver PA: Santiago Deriquin Driver PA: Adde Abihzber

BTS Photographer: Lloyd Wakefield @lloyddddddddddddddddd

OCP Talent Owners: David Arrow @davidarrowactor & Amber Paul @amberpaulnyc Cook: Dante Fiallo @dantefiallo Handyman: Tony Wave @ryde_the_wave  “Can I touch your tail” Guy: Zeus RocanCourt @zeusrocancourt Prawn, Trombone: Jessica Stanley @jessstanleymusic Prawn, Trumpet: Sophie Manoloff @sophietrumpet Prawn, Saxophone: Reveka Pasternak @rvekap

Background Talent: Dawn Davis, Donna Tsufura, Eugene Farley, Glenn Wernig, Kenneth Geronimo, Kevin Kusinitz, Kimberly Solano, Michell Diaz Perea, Guy Richman, Laang T. Stewart, Josh Tolentino, Lorre-Ann Fisher, Troylynn Roberts, Bryant Salazar, Kseniya Yermakova, Mizan Taylor & Yanilsa Delacruz

Background Casting: Background Inc. 

Tail Handlers: Quentin Collins & Bryce Owen @quentinpcollins & @bryceowen_

Location: Legendary Sugar Hill Supper Club @sugarhillsupperclub

[americanmysticom]

Robert F. Kennedy Jr tells Tucker this is turning America into a system of socialism for the rich.

to sell advertisements to for drug pushers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68MhtliIAvk

related;

TUCKER CARLSON GOES OUT SWINGING

Twilight Fox anchor interview with Robert Kennedy, Jr. is a hard-hitting masterpiece.

Former Navy Seal and ultramarathoner, David Goggins, once famously remarked:

If 100 men go to war, 10 shouldn’t be there, 80 are just targets, 9 do most of the fighting,

1 is a warrior.

In the great CULTURE WAR in which we who love our beleaguered Constitutional Republic now find ourselves, Tucker Carlson has been our Achilles.

Their economic model of telling lies to sell advertisements to for drug pushers is failing

In a couple of recent interviews on other podcasts, he has stated that no amount of money and power could dissuade him from telling the truth about our world as he sees it. Listening to these interviews, I got a presentiment that his days at Fox were numbered and he knew it.

When a man lives in a society governed by depraved, money-grubbing humbugs, and boldly speaks out against them, he will eventually come into such direct conflict with these overlords that they will either demand or engineer his elimination.

This morning someone sent me a link to his April 19 episode that featured an interview with Democratic Party presidential candidate, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Listening to it over my morning coffee, I was especially impressed and found it so noteworthy that I decided to write a Substack post about it. As I logged onto the platform, I saw that my fellow Substack author, Sasha Latypova, was inspired to do the same.

Bravo, Tucker Carlson! We hope you’ll keep up your splendid work as an independent producer with your own platform. The writing is on the wall for the legacy broadcasters and cable news networks. Their economic model of telling lies to sell advertisements to drug pushers is failing, and they will soon go the way of the dodo bird.

You, on the other hand, may continue your glorious career as a spokesman for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

https://www.theepochtimes.com/health/tucker-carlson-goes-out-swinging_5225297.html

See also;

CloseUp: Kennedy will put himself to the test of NH voters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u_f5_cfTW0

Tucker Carlson: It is hard to believe this is happening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9eN19qkZRk

Tucker NOT Actually Fired! Reports Megyn Kelly

https://rumble.com/v2kp1xc-tucker-not-actually-fired-reports-megyn-kelly.html

View on CloudDrive; Tucker Carlson Goes Out Swinging

https://u.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=kZRN7tVZXTRC4NMnkhSiDt6gcgTLsbvhWWXV

[jerzwriter]

My Tobias was a happily confirmed bachelor. During his younger years, he didn't feel the need to be tied down; but due to family and societal pressure, he tried and realized it wasn't for him. He swore off serious relationships until after med school.

But life doesn't always go as planned. In Med School, he fell for Vincenza ("the Hopkins Girl"), but watched as she fell for his best friend. In time, he and Vincenza were together and quite happy. They were even planning a future together, but in the end, he showed his toxic competition with Ethan was more important than Vincenza, and she walked.

In his early years at Mass Kenmore, he dated Sasha Carlson for one year. On paper, she was everything he wanted, but he wasn't happy. He was convinced this meant he wasn't meant to be monogamous. After calling things off with Sasha, he happily subscribed to being a lifelong confirmed bachelor.

That all changed when he walked into a deli for breakfast one morning and was enchanted by a pretty stranger. Captivated by her, he called off any arrangements he had at that time to focus on her... but he screwed it up by stealing her patient and not being fully transparent about his prior relationship with June. It took the chemical attack and Casey nearly losing her life for her to even allow him back in as a friend. But, months later, neither could deny they were meant to be.

Casey and Tobias married a little over two years after they originally met, and little Samantha joined the family not long after. In time, they added Brooke and Kayla to the mix. He never once regretted his choices and truly believed the reason he never wanted to settle down was because he was destined to meet Casey.

Tobias & Casey Masterlist His (and her) Exes

Totally Tobias Tuesday - Week 9

Welcome to Week 9 of Totally Tobias Tuesday Reblog Game.

This week: Love, Romance... or Not: What's your HC for Tobias? Does he settle down at some point? Is that life totally not for him? Ever get married? (If he has kids - you'll be hit up later for another event lmao) Does he have an MC/OC that's an OTP in your HC? You can tell us about his past, present, future, or all three. Tell us whatever you wish to on this topic.

RULES: ** Please Re-Blog do not create a new post, or if you create a new post, reblog and attach the link here ** Answer any way you choose - simple answer? Moodboard? Headcanon? Mini-Fic? Whatever you like! 😊

Also, you can play at any time. Miss Tuesday? No worries. If you discover this 2 years from now and want to do it? Go for it! No rules, just fun! Past weeks can be found here.

IMPORTANT REMINDER! I recently received an anon about the character's limited representation here. Everyone is welcome to play along with their version of the character. Failure to participate is not exclusion. I will happily welcome any and all versions of the lovely Dr. Carrick, but I can only submit my own.

Tagging those who have asked to be under break - but remember, anyone can participate! 💜💜💜

@alj4890 @coffeeheartaddict2 @cooltuna69 @hopelessromantic1352 @icecoffee90 @kyra75 @lovealexhunt @quixoticdreamer16 @secretaryunpaid @trappedinfanfiction @tveitertotwrites @twinkleallnight @jerzwriter @lucy-268

[writerinlearning]

Protocol - Part. I

plot: based on the song Protocol by The Vamps; or in which Charlie tries to deal with the aftermath of his fall-out with Y/n.

pairing: Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader

show: /

words: 6,5K with the lyrics.

warnings: pure angst, couple swear words maybe, mention of alcohol

author’s notes: the idea came up to me when I innocently looked up the lyrics to Protocol by The Vamps, and well, this happened. it’s a three-parter fic and in it, everyone has been aged a year (since it takes place in 2021). so basically, Y/N and Charlie are 23, Jeremy is 24, Owen and Savannah are 21, Madison is 17, Jadah is 16, Sasha is 18 and Tori is 20. also, special thanks to my best friend @issaxcharlie for being my emotional support as i wrote, even if we were both a mess. i do hope you will enjoy this fic, as much as i enjoyed writing it.

side notes: The lyrics to the song are in 𝒃𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒔; flashbacks are in italics, and what is between “quotes” in bold and italics are text messages.

luke paterson/charlie gillespie masterlist | main masterlist

⇨ next chapter

𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏’ 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏’      𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕

           Charlie knew the moment she had slipped through his fingers. He had recently been too busy with work, being away in Vancouver to film the new Julie and the Phantoms season. He did not call her every night like he promised he would before leaving her alone in their shared apartment in Los Angeles. That’s when she began slipping through his fingers, and that was almost three months ago. She grew distant when he managed to squeeze in a call or two in his busy schedule, and she always dismissed his words of apology and the empty promises he made over the phone. Charlie knew his promises were empty, but he hoped she would at least believe them; believe his empty words. He knew he had lost when she did not bother to tell him about her day in college, like she would usually have done any other day. Their relationship was falling apart, and he believed himself to be the one to blame.

           Charlie also remembered the day Y/n said she was leaving. He had managed to take a few days off from filming, flying back to Los Angeles in a hurry, excited to surprise her. Their fifth-year anniversary was coming up. But he hadn’t expected to be met with the entrance filled with brown boxes, all of them differently labelled, but always with her name on it.

           His brows were knitted together in confusion, creasing a frown on his forehead and his nose scrunching up lightly, whilst his hazel green eyes landed on her lanky figure waltzing out of the kitchen with yet another brown box in her arms. The smile on his face fell completely, his gaze softening when she carefully placed the box at her feet.

           The lines under her e/c eyes told him she had a rough day, the tiredness visible all over her features. Her h/c was tied in a high ponytail, a grey cardigan thrown over her shoulders and on top of a plain white shirt she had tucked into her black sweatpants. She was bare feet, as usual, but he knew the energy had worn-out of her body, the exhaustion she endured emanating from her.

           “H-hey,” he whispered, taking a step ahead only to have her take a step back. “What are all those boxes for baby? What’s going on?”

           He was clearly lost; he thought everything was fine between the two of them, she had seemed happy over the phone when he called her the previous night, to let her know he had more free time to call her every day. Charlie never thought she had been planning to leave.

           “I’m moving back to my parents’.” She spoke slowly, her voice cold and empty from any emotions. “I can’t do this anymore Char.”

           “W-what?” He asked, slightly stunned. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

           Y/n sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with one hand as she ran the other through her ponytail, a low frustrated sigh stumbling upon her lips. She could feel the tears prickling her eyes, and she had to throw her head back to prevent them from rolling down her cheeks. She knew if she cried now, she would give into his warm embrace and back out from her plan. But she couldn’t do it anymore, not when she was suffocating.

           For the past year, since the release of the first season of Julie and the Phantoms, Y/n had been the one to put all her efforts into the relationship. Where Charlie neglected her, she always made sure he had everything he needed because she loved him. She just couldn’t do it anymore, tired of always be the back picture of his life now.

           “That’s the problem Charles,” she ended up saying, her eyes meeting his for the first time. “You never understand.”

           “What do you mean baby?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

           “I’m leaving. I’m going back to New Brunswick; my dad’s picking me up tomorrow.”

           “But I thought… I thought we were fine.”

           “We were… for a while. But I just can’t anymore. You’ve been neglecting me Charlie; for a whole year! I thought… I thought we could work this out, but I’m suffocating. I just… I can’t anymore…”

           “I-I-I… I can try to fix this!” He exclaimed; the worry evident in his voice. “I’m sorry, please… let me fix this. I promise to do better. I-I-I… I love you Y/n!”

𝑵𝒐 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔                                            𝑺𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒆, 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔, 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔, 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒓

           There was no room for forgiveness, as much as Charlie tried. Y/n was stubborn; he should know after been her best friend since they were seven and dating her since they were eighteen. Guilt slowly sunk down on him the next morning as he woke up in an empty bed. The left side of the mattress was cold, but the sweet scent of her vanilla shampoo still resided on the pillowcase she used to sleep on until last night, when she slept into the spare room of their apartment.

          He heard the doorbell ring, pulling him out of the bed and he slipped on an old black sweater, making his way to the entrance hall, and he saw her standing in the doorway, hoisting brown boxes into her father’s arms who stood on the other side. He ran a hand through his sloppy brown hair, eyes fluttering shut for a short second, before he made her way towards her and helped her with the boxes that waited to be loaded into the trunk of her father’s car down in the parking lot. Y/n glanced at his figure, a grateful thin-lipped smile etching on her lips as they both headed for the elevator with the last of her boxes.

          Charlie did not dare to cross the eyes of Mr. Y/L/N, knowing he was the reason behind Y/n’s broken heart. He did, however, see from the corner of his eyes the man load the remaining boxes and frames into the backseat of his car before Mr. Y/L/N took his seat behind the wheel and waited for his daughter.

          Y/n stood in front of him, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her sweatpants. Her hair was tied in a make-shift bun on top of her head, the lines under her eyes a dead giveaway of the short night she had. But her lips still curved into a soft smile when she looked up to him.

          “I’m sorry Y/n,” whispered Charlie, his voice wavering as he tried to hold back his tears. “Please… let me fix this, whatever this is… I-I-I… I love you…”

           “I know.” Her voice didn’t waver despite the tears on her cheeks. “But this…” She waved a hand between the two of them. “Whatever we had… It has been broken for too long Charlie… Maybe it can be fixed, maybe it can’t.”

           “I can try!” His voice cracked, not caring about the tears coming through. “Please baby, please. Let me try…”

           “I can’t Charlie; not yet. If this… if whatever there was between us was meant to be, we’ll found our way back to each other one day. I just… I need time for myself, time to heal. And you bubs, you need time to sort yourself; understand what it is that you really want. I will always love you Charlie. Always.”

           Y/n’s voice wavered for the first time since last night. One last time, she looked into his puffy red eyes; the hazel green colour of his irises glistening with the tears welling up in his orbs to follow the path of those already rolling down his cheeks.

           She pressed the palm of her hands on each of his dampened cheeks, rubbing her thumbs over his reddened cheekbones to wipe away the tears; her touch soft against his skin, like it had always been. A small broken smile crept upon her lips for a second time, her e/c irises scanned his features silently, their heavy breath and the birds chirping being the only sound around them.

           Charlie knew it would be the last time he’d be this close to her; he had messed up. But despite what he thought and the guilt he felt, he took it upon himself to enjoy this last shared intimate moment with her; the girl he had been in love with since he was eighteen.

           His hands moved of their own accord, settling onto her hips, and he pulled her closer; their chest pressed against one another. His lips, chapped and dry, ghosted over hers, his eyelids dropping over his orbs in case she’d pull back and walk away from him. But she was the one to bring his face closer, closing in on the few inches separating them as she crashed her lips against his own; her own damp cheeks sticking to his.

           Their lips moulded together, like every other time they shared a kiss, but both knew this one held a different meaning. He swiped his tongue against her lips, and she granted him access one last time, their tongue fighting each other for some kind of control over the other, as if their life depended on it.

           Y/n let him be in control, tears slowly falling down her cheeks like candlewax, and only pulled away when she needed air. She licked her lips, the feeling of his own lips lingering on hers, and she glanced one last time at him, caressing the side of his face. She allowed her hand to run through his hair, twirling a strand around her fingers before she let her hand fall back to her side.

          A trembling exhale stumbled upon Charlie’s lips as he watched her turn her back towards him, opening the passenger’s door of her father’s car and getting inside the vehicle.

          He could see the suitcases, the brown boxes, the frames and the pictures which held so many of their shared memories, on the back seat of the car as Mr. Y/L/N drove away from the underground parking of what used to be their apartment building.

          Charlie knew this wasn’t the end; that is was a ‘see you soon’ rather than a ‘goodbye’. But, as her father drove away, he knew he had lost her.

𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏  𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕

           Charlie knew he fucked up. And he had no idea how to tell his parents he had lost his best friend, his girlfriend, in one day. They had loved her from the start, she was basically a part of the Gillespie family. His sister and his brothers, even his parents, always teased them about a potential wedding during family dinners. And for a moment, he truly believed he would end up marrying her. She was perfect, even with her flaws, and any man would be lucky to have her by their side.

           Charlie had been one of those men; he had never meant to neglect her, and he sure as hell did not think she felt like she was suffocating in this relationship. Landing a role on the new Netflix series Julie and The Phantoms almost two years ago had been the opportunity of a lifetime, and Y/n had been nothing but supporting, encouraging him even more when he got the role.

           When they filmed the first season, she had spent days on set just to see him in action, growing close to the cast in the process. Especially Jeremy and Owen, who quickly became her best friends. She considered Jadah and Madison like her little sisters, and Charlie was over the moon when he realized she got along just fine with his castmates.

           Even when they were quarantined together because of the pandemic, they still kept in touch with the rest of the cast, bounding even more. They went to Hawaii together, and everyone thought Charlie and Y/n would end up getting married, just like the Gillespie family did.

           Charlie never thought they would end up there, parting ways. Of course he was aware she wouldn’t be as present on the set of the second season of Julie and The Phantoms because she was busy writing her thesis for her college master degree.

           But suddenly, he regretted having declined her offer to come to Vancouver when she had a whole two weeks of free time. He remembered telling her she shouldn’t come and that she should focus on her thesis; he knew how important it was to her. Now that he had lost her, he wished more than ever to have agreed to her offer. And that was two months ago.

           From that day onward, Y/n declined each of his calls until he eventually stopped calling, but she never bothered to call him back, and Charlie never understood why. He had dropped it, probably too busy with her thesis to pick up the phone like he believed she was when in fact, she began planning on leaving; take time for herself.

           Everyone on set noticed the change in Charlie, but no one said anything. Not even Jeremy nor Owen knew exactly what happened two months ago, though they were Y/n’s closest friends, and they worried about Charlie.

𝑨𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔                𝑮𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆

          The day she left; Charlie stayed up all night. He laid on his bed, the bed they used to share together, in a starfish position with his puffy eyes focused on the ceiling above. His cheeks were red, his orbs sunken into their sockets and his lips dry. He barely ate and did not even bother to pick up the phone when Owen called.

           All he could think about were the midnight talks him and Y/n used to have before falling asleep in each other’s arms; her voice echoing in the back of his mind.

           “Where do you think we’ll be? In ten years?”

           Her voice was soft as she spoke, her fingers drawing circles on his exposed torso, while her head rested on his chest. He was running a hand through her hair, his fingers gently grazing at her scalp, his eyes half-closed as he looked down at her. He pressed his lips to the crown of her head, humming softly as he thought of an answer. He didn’t have to, already knowing where he saw himself in ten years, but he didn’t want her to know he had been thinking about it for a long time now. He gathered his thoughts together, finally deciding on an answer.

           “Well…” he trailed, his hand moving from her hair to draw circles with his slender finger on the exposed skin of her shoulder. “I see us, together. You have a silver ring with a small diamond on your ring finger, and you’re standing in the kitchen of our newly-bought house, trying to cook some pastas. I see you looking over the French windows in the living-room, smiling up to me as our four-year-old son comes running into my legs. Your face is lit up by a bright smile, and you have a hand on your round stomach.”

           Y/n smiled softly at the thought, stopping her movements as she shifted around, pressing her palms against his pectoral muscles and resting her chin over the back of her hands, and she looked at Charlie through her lashes.

           He smiled sheepishly, his hands moving to her back, his fingers softly brushing her naked skin along her spine.

           “How long have you thought about it?” She asked, tilting her head to the side.

           “Can’t I just imagine a future with you by my side?” He answered back instead, lifting his head up to capture her lips in a quick kiss.

           Y/n giggled, the sound vibrating from her chest to his, and she pressed her lips against his in a firmer kiss; lips moulding together like they always did.

           Charlie chocked back on a sob as he reminisced the memories. The future he had imagined for them now only a creation of his mind; no more kisses nor good mornings and good nights, and he was the only one to blame.

           He shifted around on his mattress, the bedsheets wrinkled under his weight, and he looked at the closed bedside drawer, visible under the moonlight passing through his window.

           Swallowing the lump in his throat and with a trembling hand, Charlie took the handle inside his palm, pulling the drawer open. Everything was left untouched; she hadn’t gone through it; she knew to respect his privacy like he knew to respect hers. But for once he wished she had gotten a little bit curious, when he spotted the little black velvety box in the corner of the drawer, left untouched.

           He took the small box between his fingers, opening the lid slowly to reveal a simple yet beautiful silver ring with small-encrusted diamonds, a slightly bigger one in the middle. He would have proposed in two days, on their fifth-year anniversary. He had planned it all in his head, but because he had selfishly put himself first, all his plans went to waste. All gone, and it’s what he deserved.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒙𝒊𝒏’ 𝒂, 𝒇𝒊𝒙𝒊𝒏’ 𝒂 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕

           When Charlie flew back to Vancouver the next week to film the rest of the Julie and The Phantoms season two, he knew his friends would notice. Hell, Jeremy and Owen were probably already aware of what had happened between him and Y/n a week earlier, because he knew her, and he knew she would have at least called one of them.

           When Charlie walked on set that day, he wasn’t sure he would be able to go through all the scenes he had to film; on in particular. He was to film a scene with Madison, where they characters Luke and Julie fought together about a new character in the series, Carmen, and whose goal was to bring the Phantoms back to the Hollywood Ghost Club, under Caleb Covington’s orders. Where Julie believed Carmen was a nice girl, Luke believed she was just as bad as Caleb, if not more. Charlie wasn’t sure he would be able to handle a fight scene, after his fight with Y/n.

           Madison was the first to notice Charlie’s reluctance when he walked on set with his hands in his pockets and his head hanging low. Her brows knitted together in concern, and she glanced over her shoulder to lock eyes with Jeremy, who stood by Kenny behind one of the cameras.

           When Jeremy noticed the worried expression on Madison’s face, he raised a brow, waiting for her to elaborate on her confusion. And when she nodded towards their castmate, his face instantly fell into once of concern. He vaguely knew what had happened between his friend and Y/n, from the things Owen had told him a couple days ago, but he had never imagined it to be this bad from the way Charlie looked.

           His fellow castmate was slouched on the black-leathered couch in the made-up studio, his head thrown back against the back rest and his eyes tightly shut, his hands turned into fists on his lap.

           Jeremy watched as Madison took careful steps towards Charlie, taking a seat beside him on the couch and putting her hands over his to get his attention. Once in a while, he glanced around in hopes of spotting Owen on set, before realizing the blond actor had no scenes to shoot that day.

           When Charlie lifted his head up at Madison’s touch, the girl finally noticed the redness in his usually bright green eyes, and the tear streaks staining his cheeks, his desperate orbs pleading for any signs of comfort.

           She instantly pulled him into her arms, his own finding their way around her back, and he tightly held onto her, breaking down. He buried his head in her neck, tears escaping his eyes as sobs racked through his already shaking body, and Madison tried her best to comfort him, running her hands up and down his back.

           “Is everything okay Charlie?” Madison asked once he calmed down and pulled away from her, wiping the tears on his cheeks.

           Charlie shook his head negatively, his bottom lip quivering as Y/n crossed his mind, and he swallowed the lump in his throat to prevent more tears from rolling down his face. He would need another trip to the make-up artist trailer, that’s for sure.

           “Did something happen with Y/n?” Madison quizzed, not knowing what had happen between the couple.

           It was an innocent question, but enough for Charlie to break down again, ragged breaths leaving his mouth as his chest heaved up and down rapidly.

           Madison’s eyes widened; something definitely did happen to Y/n, but she had no idea what and it worried her.

           “What’s wrong Charlie?” She asked, holding his hands in hers to try and calm him down. “Is Y/n alright?”

           For the second time since he walked on set that day, he lifted his head to look at Madison. He took his lower lip between his teeth, thoughts racking at the back of his mind. He had no idea how to answer; he was at loss for words. It’s been a whole two weeks since she left, and he had no idea how she was doing, if she were as miserable as he was, or if she was doing just fine. He wouldn’t blame her if it were the latter, but he knew her too well to know she wouldn’t just leave five years of relationship behind like it was nothing. After all, they were best friends first, before everything happened.

           He didn’t know how to answer Madison, nor any of his friends when they asked him the following days how Y/n was doing, because he himself didn’t know. He had broken his own heart at the same time he had broken hers, and he had no clue how to mend them. He wanted to; he just didn’t know the protocol for fixing a broken heart.

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚’𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒆𝒘𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕

           It took a month after the break-up for the rumours to start. Y/n had become quite famous within the Julie and The Phantoms fandom by being Charlie’s girlfriend, and the fans were quick on picking up the clues. They noticed the lack of photos from Charlie’s Instagram account with his girlfriend, or how his apartment seemed emptier during the couple of lives he managed to do when the release date for the second season of the show was announced, even if there were a few scenes left to shoot.

          They noticed the way he looked during interviews for his other projects he had filmed beside JaTP whenever Y/n was mentioned, because neither of them had officialised their break-up.

           Most of all, they noticed the pictures Y/n posted on her profile. She was located in New Brunswick, hanging around with the friends she had left behind when she and Charlie moved in together in Los Angeles. She never lost contact with them, and Y/n enjoyed spending her time with them again.

           It’s when those pictures came out that the rumours started. Everyone now knew Charlie and Y/n weren’t together anymore, an no one knew the real reason for their fall-out. The fans thought Y/n had cheated on Charlie, picturing her as the bad girl and always mentioning Charlie under her posts, telling him she’d been the bad girl all along.

           Even his friends and castmates, except Owen, began to believe the rumours, and Charlie didn’t have the strength to tell them they were wrong. However, he couldn’t deny it hurt him, to see so much hate under Y/n’s pictures that she had to disable her comments and turn her account private. He hated it when someone would comment on something she did, but he never said anything in return.

           “I know I never said it before,” said Sasha once, “but I always thought Y/n was a bit too much. And I know you were crazy about her Charlie, don’t get me wrong. She just appeared to me as the bad type of girls; that she was nothing but bad news.”

           Charlie hadn’t said anything to defend Y/n, ignoring the pleading look Owen was giving him. The blond had spent his last month trying to convince the Canadian actor to tell the truth to the rest of the cast, but Charlie always dismissed him. He knew he had fucked up, and though he missed Y/n to the point he barely even slept, he had no one to blame but himself. Yet, whenever one of her pictures showed up on his Instagram feed, he couldn’t help the soft smile tugging on his lips when he saw her bright smile on the picture she posted; how she would scrunch up her nose as her smile etched to her ears. It was a smile he loved to see on her; it suited her well. He was happy, even though he was hurting inside.

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝑻𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆, 𝒏𝒐

           When Julie and The Phantoms season two was done and wrapped up, the cast wanted to celebrate the moment. Of course, Charlie was reluctant, like he had been the past month whenever they were going out, but this time he was pulled by Owen and had no choice but to comply. When the night sky fell upon the city of Vancouver, a few members of the cast went into the nearest bar from where they had filmed the Netflix series, to celebrate the end of filming. The little group was composed of Madison, Jadah, Savannah, Tori, Sacha, Jeremy, Owen and, despite his multiple refusals, Charlie. And, even if only four of them were of legal age to drink alcohol, all eight of them (seven more likely) managed to enjoy their celebratory night.

           That same night, Owen turned into Cupid-mode, trying to hook up Charlie with a random girl to make him forget about Y/n. That’s how he ended up in the middle of the dance floor with a blonde young woman at his arm. The alcohol from his two glasses of whiskey and Coke began to work their way through his system as he danced with the girl, side-glancing towards his friends who were cheering him on.

          But Charlie couldn’t get Y/n out of his mind, even as he danced with pretty girls and shared a drink with them when they walked over to the bar. He couldn’t even take Y/n out of his mind when that beautiful red-haired woman kissed him and he kissed back, both of them intoxicated by the alcohol they had consumed.

          Y/n was all he could think about, even after their night out and he was back in his own bed at the place him and Owen rented, and nothing could change that. No one ever came close to Y/n, even when Jeremy and Madison set him up on blind dates the following two weeks. Y/n was his person, and he had lost her.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 ’𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 (𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕)

           Charlie knew Y/n hadn’t told her parents what had happened, even if her father was the one to pick her up from the apartment they shared. If he knew Y/n, he was sure she had lied to her father about her motives for wanting to go back to New Brunswick.

          When Mrs. Y/L/N called him on a fine autumn evening, a month and a half after his fall-out with Y/n, he didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth either. If he did, Charlie knew the woman would tell her husband, and that was just one more broken heart.

          The only words he mustered up were that things weren’t how they used to be between him and Y/n, and he could clearly remember the conversation that followed.

           “I don’t understand Charlie,” Mrs. Y/L/N sighed over the phone and Charlie was sure she was pinching the bridge of her nose. “What happened to you proposing to my daughter? I remember you nervously asking my husband for her hand. What happened to that?”

           Charlie had contemplated on the right answer, but truth was, he had no idea on how to. He had let out a low sigh, sitting himself up on his bed, moving his cell phone onto his other ear.

           “I know,” he finally answered, defeated. “I thought proposing to her would make things better, but the truth is, Y/M/N, our relationship had been falling apart for a while now. I don’t think proposing would have made things better.”

           He had blatantly lied to her that evening, but in that moment he could only think about Y/n and how she would have hated him even more if he had told her mother the truth.

𝑨 𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒋𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒚𝒔 𝑶𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕

           After the phone call, Charlie laid back down in his starfish-like position, eyes on the ceiling as tears escaped the corner of his eyes.

           The world seemed to burn around him as he thought of all the adventures and journeys they shared together, first as best friends and then, as lovers. It sent his heart plummeting to the pit of his stomach, making him sick to the core and rendering him breathless as he cried himself to sleep like he had been since the break-up. Sure, it’s only been one month and a half, and you cannot just throw five years of relationship away like that, but every night he wished she was here next to him, running her hand through his hair as they fell asleep.

           When he woke up the next day, he hadn’t expected the text displayed on his lockscreen. She had texted him, for the first time in six weeks.

“I’ve heard you finished filming the second season of JaTP, congrats! :)

I’m sure it’s going to be amazing; you guys always work hard to make it perfect. I can’t wait to see it.”

           That’s all the text said, and it brought a smile to Charlie’s face. Despite their fall-out, she was still supportive of him, and maybe; just maybe, their story wasn’t over. After all, six weeks ago, she did tell him they would eventually find their way back to each other if their story was meant to be.

           But, as much as he wanted to answer, he couldn’t find the courage to do so. He didn’t want to bring back any unwanted memories to her, and instead of answering, he pressed his thumb against the blue bubble of her text, clicking on the grey thumb up above it.

           In less than two weeks, Charlie would realize it had been a terrible idea, and his beliefs of a future with her as his best friend, the same as when they were seven, burst into flames and fell apart.

𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆

           Every night during those six weeks, Charlie would try to call her answerphone, dialling the number of the vintage phone that sat on her bedside table in her bedroom upstairs, in her parents’ suburban house.

           And every time he called, he hoped she wouldn’t answer; it was easier to speak with her answering machine.

           Charlie waited four rings before he was redirected to her voice mailbox, and he let out a sigh of relief when he heard the beeping sound, allowing him to leave a message.

           “Hey, it’s me again.” He said softly. “It’s been six weeks since we parted ways and I just wanted to apologize again for not answering your text three days ago. I wasn’t sure you would want an answer from me. Owen told me you’re doing fine most of the time, but I’m convinced he doesn’t tell me everything. From what I know, I can tell you guys got closer. I’m not mad, I know he’s your friend as much as he is mine and I would hate it if you stopped talking to them because of me. They all love you. I still do.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I know you must be annoyed by now, because of all the voicemails I’m leaving. And I’m sorry. I hope you’re doing alright tonight; I know I hurt you that day. And I hope that one day, you can find in you the strength to forgive me, because I miss my best friend. I love you Y/n; take care of yourself. Say hi to your parents for me. Bye.”

           And just like that, the line went dead, signalling him he had almost been cut off in his voice message.

           Charlie had no clue if Y/n would ever listen to her voicemail, but he kept on leaving them every other two days. It made him feel better.

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰’𝒎 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 ’𝒆𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰’𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝑰 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕

           But there was a night where Charlie had it bad. It was two weeks after Y/n had sent him that text and he hadn’t answered properly. The whole day his mentions kept blowing up, but Charlie thought nothing of it, trying to get his mind off of Y/n and the best way to do so was to not look at his social media.

           When the sky turned dark over Los Angeles that night, Charlie settled in the crème-coloured sofa in the living-room. The TV was on, playing some random episode of Friends in the background as he decided to sort out his mentions.

          Charlie never expected to see the pictures taken by nosey paparazzies. Y/n was in the centre, her h/c hair cascading over her shoulders as her head was thrown back. The sun from that day was reflecting in the round sunglasses she wore; it matched the black leather jacket she had put over a plain white shirt. Her face sported a bright smile, one that carved dimples in her cheeks, and she had a hand over her stomach while the other held a tall cup from Starbucks and her phone.

          For a second, his lips went upward into a smile, and he scrolled down to have a look at the other pictures. His stomach twisted into knots and his heart plummeted to the ground as he scrolled down. Y/n wasn’t alone; she was in Owen’s company.

          Charlie’s brows turned into a frown, his nose scrunching up and the combination of the two creasing wrinkles on his forehead, whilst his grip tightened around his phone. He wasn’t mad or angry, but Owen was one of his best friends and he would have liked to know the blond had planned to fly over to Canada to see Y/n.  

           When he opened his Instagram account after, he was once again bombarded with mentions from his fans under the same pictures. On top of that, he had watched both Owen’s and Y/n’s Instagram stories, and the acid-like substance from the pit of his stomach came back up his throat. He couldn’t be angry; he hadn’t seen the smile on Y/n for long. He knew it was genuine, one he hadn’t had the chance to see in over a year, even when they were still together.

           And everything, everything that went wrong between the two of them until the inevitable fall-out of their relationship rushed back to his mind like a train wreck. He remembered the nights before he left for Vancouver where he could hear her soft sniffles when she believed him to be asleep. He remembered the lack of touch from her as he left to catch his plane, but he had blamed it on the stress she was under. He had blamed everything on the stress she was under due to her thesis. Charlie never once thought it was because of him.

          He didn’t notice the tears streaming down his cheeks until he heard himself sniffle, and he threw his phone into the empty armchair opposite to the sofa he sat on, before he walked over the kitchen cabinet and grabbed the first bottle of alcohol he could find through his blurred vision. So much for finding their way back to each other when Y/n was away having fun with one of his best friends. He wasn’t mad; he couldn’t be angry at either of them. They were as much friends as he was with Owen, but in those pictures they seemed to be so much more. Charlie truly believed he had lost the only woman he has ever loved in all his life.

           He grabbed the first empty glass he found on the kitchen counter and poured himself half a glass of whiskey, drowning the whole thing in one gulp before making himself another one.

           He wanted to numb the pain in his chest; forget about the new feeling that crept under his skin. Charlie was jealous of his friend, and the only way he found to drown the feeling was alcohol. Reckless? Yes, he knew as much. He could have screamed, call both Y/n and Owen when the thought crossed his mind; he could’ve called them names, but he never wanted to risk losing their friendship and decided against it.

           He once again manoeuvred his way to the crème-coloured sofa, the bottle of whiskey in one hand and his empty glass in the other. But the drink didn’t help suppress the jealousy. It didn’t help him forget about everything that had happened the past eight weeks, nor the pain residing in his chest since the breakup. Charlie knew drowning the bottle of whiskey would only result in a massive headache in the morning.

           He laid down on the couch, the back of his head against the armrest while he threw his legs over the backrest, and he closed his eyes shut. A heavy breath left his lips as he tried to gather his thoughts.

           Regret filled him; the pictures of Y/n and Owen together stuck to his retinas whilst her smile haunted him. He didn’t know if it were the alcohol in his system or something else, but the voices in his mind; the ones of his friends and of Y/n, they kept shouting and screaming at him. He could see himself in the corner of a room, his knees pulled up to his chest as his friends towered over him, snarky grins on their face, and Y/n stood in the middle with her arms crossed over her chest. She had the same tender look, but the frown that creased her forehead showed a different aspect of her, one he had only seen once, and that was when they broke it off.

           Charlie tried to muster up the words he wanted to say to her, cowering when the voices became louder in his mind and the tears silently rolled down his cheeks.

           That night, he fell asleep on the couch fighting the wars inside his head. He had fucked up, and there’s was no way for him to fix what had been broken long before the fall.

ⓒ writerinlearning – 2020

[thosesillylittlegayghosts]

Guess who went to Jeremy’s London concert and met SASHA AND CAROLYN?!!